#shit posting for fun and profit

[ghostinthegallery]

As a certified xenos-supporter and lover of sexy space robots, I still get lots of Primarch-info through osmosis. Although it is probably weird info, so here are the first facts I think about for each of them.

Lion

- beard

- his kids are a damn mess

Fulgrim

- snek

- demon sword

- Griffith we have at home

Perterabo

- cunt

- hates everyone except Magnus apparently?

Khan

- imposter syndrom

- put him in charge

Russ

- hates magic except when his kids do it

- murder for daddy's approval

Dorn

- has a blankie from his grandpa and that's adorable

- likes walls

Curze

- blood pits

- needs a shower

Sanguinius

- perfect boy everyone loves

- died to give us 40k Christmas

Ferrus

- divorced, beheaded, died

- the hands are necrodermis akshually

- ate sand one time

Angron

- all of the Primarchs have the right to punch Big E in the dick forever, but Angron gets to go first

Guilliman

- spreadsheets

Mortarion

- abusive childhood even by 40k standards

- moth?

Magnus

- hot nerd with beautiful titties

- did nothing wrong the best he could with the information he had

Horus

- stabbed real bad one time

- toxic polycule

- kind of shocked at how little I know given he had a whole Heresy names after him

Lorgar

- Bible camp nerd

- Big E blew up his planet and he was way too okay with it

Vulkan

- big hugs

- perpetual? For some reason?

Corax

- hates Lorgar

- that's really it

Alpharius

- killed a custodes one time and nobody cared

- secret first primarch

Omegon

- bald

[yourplayersaidwhat]

[Warlock is consentually possessed by the Ghost of a Paladin who needs to make the "final blow" against a Beholder to be free of his curse. The Beholder is already wounded from Wizard's spells and the party's Paladin's smite. ]

Warlock: Well [Ghost Paladin] I know this isn't your usual fighting style and I kinda wanted to let you borrow my Shadow Blade for this but I hope you don't mind terribly if we just finish this quickly especially for the sake of Monk [frightened] and the Githzerai [several near misses with the disintegration ray]. Since you're possessing me even if I call down the power of my patron upon it this will still count as the "Final Blow," right?

Ghost Paladin: Yes.

Warlock: [*summons Bigby's Hand Tentacles and the Fathomless Tentacles and unleashes them all on the Beholder to devastating effect.*]

Warlock: Are you still doing okay, [Ghost Paladin]? Wanna do the honors of crushing this asshole?

Ghost Paladin [cheerfully]: Oh verily!

[*The Beholder dies Screaming*]

Ghost Paladin: Ah, peace at last.... *Fades away. *

DM: Warlock is no longer possessed.

Warlock: Awwww... he seemed nice, I think I'll miss him.

[spookyteeth]

my chemical romance? WRONG! my chemical warfare

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

Me, fighting tooth and nail against my irl friends who are sw*fties: yeah well, maybe I want my sad girl music to have a 3 minute guitar solo and distorted audio after the second verse of vaguely gay lyrics have you considered that ?!

[sexyleon]

i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai i hate ai

[dirtytransmasc]

I think it would be nice if all of the different currencies could be converted to each other.

For example: 10 coins (the currency you earn simply through gameplay) buys me 1 gem (the more valuable, harder to obtain currency) and 10 gems buys me 1 gold bar (even more valuable, harder to obtain currency). this would also work backwards, one gem/gold bar would be worth a large amount of coins.

sure you could still buy gems and gold bars with actual real world money like most games work now, but you could also use your hard earned coins to buy them too.

I just think a game like that would make me happy

[wolgerrswraith]

Sure would be nice to not be reminded of my own mortality on a daily basis as more and more celebrities I grew up watching pass away as the year goes on...

[bananonbinary]

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Fun fact! In the UK (and I'm assuming in America as well) if you invent something on company time and with company resources (especially if you figure it out as a normal part of your job, eg technician) the company owns what you make! (Sarcastic enthusiasm)

Considering Mr freezes backstory in BTAS I've always just assumed that's why he doesn't make any money out of his crazy tech - he was the inventor, but the company owns the patent for his work (in spite of the fact that he was working in secret from what I remember)

I think it makes sense that his tendancy towards domestic terrorism is at least in part fueled by a desire to make sure the tech is heavily associated with danger and easy weaponisation, though that's also continuity dependant considering Nora is alive and needs care in some versions but is already dead in others

Danny and the Riddler getting on like a house on fire because Danny is used to helping ghosts with their obsession and the Riddler gets enrichment time

Like, Danny answers riddles but he makes a show out of thinking about them out loud and taking his time and appreciating the riddle

Which is very different from the people either doing it out of fear, being done with him or super quickly

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Words of wisdom… pt. 2

After convincing the rogue to leave two piles of cursed gold alone: 

Aasimar Paladin: “there will be people inside, with non-cursed gold on their bodies after we kill them.” 

Rogue: “promise?” 

Druid: “yeah, we’ll even let you have first pick.” 

Rogue: “right, let’s go get some gol- I mean, stop these bad guys…”

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow?

This post is inspired by another post about the Crowd Strike IT disaster and a bunch of people being interested in what I mean by Dataflow. Dataflow is my absolute jam and I'm happy to answer as many questions as you like on it. I even put referential pictures in like I'm writing an article, what fun!

I'll probably split this into multiple parts because it'll be a huge post otherwise but here we go!

A Brief History

Our world is dependent on the flow of data. It exists in almost every aspect of our lives and has done so arguably for hundreds if not thousands of years.

At the end of the day, the flow of data is the flow of knowledge and information. Normally most of us refer to data in the context of computing technology (our phones, PCs, tablets etc) but, if we want to get historical about it, the invention of writing and the invention of the Printing Press were great leaps forward in how we increased the flow of information.

Modern Day IT exists for one reason - To support the flow of data.

Whether it's buying something at a shop, sitting staring at an excel sheet at work, or watching Netflix - All of the technology you interact with is to support the flow of data.

Understanding and managing the flow of data is as important to getting us to where we are right now as when we first learned to control and manage water to provide irrigation for early farming and settlement.

Engineering Rigor

When the majority of us turn on the tap to have a drink or take a shower, we expect water to come out. We trust that the water is clean, and we trust that our homes can receive a steady supply of water.

Most of us trust our central heating (insert boiler joke here) and the plugs/sockets in our homes to provide gas and electricity. The reason we trust all of these flows is because there's been rigorous engineering standards built up over decades and centuries.

For example, Scottish Water will understand every component part that makes up their water pipelines. Those pipes, valves, fitting etc will comply with a national, or in some cases international, standard. These companies have diagrams that clearly map all of this out, mostly because they have to legally but also because it also vital for disaster recovery and other compliance issues.

Modern IT

And this is where modern day IT has problems. I'm not saying that modern day tech is a pile of shit. We all have great phones, our PCs can play good games, but it's one thing to craft well-designed products and another thing entirely to think about they all work together.

Because that is what's happened over the past few decades of IT. Organisations have piled on the latest plug-and-play technology (Software or Hardware) and they've built up complex legacy systems that no one really knows how they all work together. They've lost track of how data flows across their organisation which makes the work of cybersecurity, disaster recovery, compliance and general business transformation teams a nightmare.

Some of these systems are entirely dependent on other systems to operate. But that dependency isn't documented. The vast majority of digital transformation projects fail because they get halfway through and realise they hadn't factored in a system that they thought was nothing but was vital to the organisation running.

And this isn't just for-profit organisations, this is the health services, this is national infrastructure, it's everyone.

There's not yet a single standard that says "This is how organisations should control, manage and govern their flows of data."

Why is that relevant to the companies that were affected by Crowd Strike? Would it have stopped it?

Maybe, maybe not. But considering the global impact, it doesn't look like many organisations were prepared for the possibility of a huge chunk of their IT infrastructure going down.

Understanding dataflows help with the preparation for events like this, so organisations can move to mitigate them, and also the recovery side when they do happen. Organisations need to understand which systems are a priority to get back operational and which can be left.

The problem I'm seeing from a lot of organisations at the moment is that they don't know which systems to recover first, and are losing money and reputation while they fight to get things back online. A lot of them are just winging it.

Conclusion of Part 1

Next time I can totally go into diagramming if any of you are interested in that.

How can any organisation actually map their dataflow and what things need to be considered to do so. It'll come across like common sense, but that's why an actual standard is so desperately needed!

[kiyomitakada]

i know its a classic. possibly cliche already. but i do wonder about Tumblr In The Death Note Universe probably more than i should

2 notes

💅 toxicbff Follow

if i see one more post attributing kira's powers to ~supernatural powers~ instead of the obvious fact that the cia is doing a coup I'm going to start giving You the heart attacks

💅 toxicbff

of course i saw the news how does that not prove my point further

the idea that all the police around the world could be mobilized by one single person is ridiculous (just look at this list of how many civilian militia there are globally)

heart attack victims don't seize the way "lind l tailor" did

i don't know how to tell you that You Can't Kill People Just By Knowing Their Name And Face because this is Real Life and not the newest grimdark marvel villain

people need to stop being scared of the ~bogeyman in the closet~ and wake up to the fact that usamerica is trying to take over the goddamned world

💅 toxicbff

im going to kill you all and nuke this website

#sayonara you weeaboo shits

2,925 notes

👾 lets-go-geeks Follow

DO TRUMP NEXT

🕵🏾‍♀️ penny-penelope Follow

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

16,375 notes

❤️‍🔥 lovesickened Follow

i know its stupid but im so fucking scared for my brother i heard that seven people died this week at the prison he's in and iinjust dont kenow what to do ihate him for ehat he did to mom but i never wanted him to die

#vent tw #delete later

0 notes

🏎 fastandyurious Follow

if i get a single more comment about why i don't tag "genderbend" on my kiratective fics i'm going to blow up the entire building. we don't know EITHER of their genders. why don't YOU tag your mediocre yaoi genderbend instead

🔆 sparkling-world Follow

…OP, you realize the news reports all consistently use "he," right?

🏎 fastandyurious

of course i do???? just because you see something on the news doesn't mean you have to believe it?????? they don't have any information on kira yet but i'm supposed to believe the fbi knows their gender already??????? also kira is literally a fucking girl's name my classmate in elementary school was called kira

🔆 sparkling-world

Kira comes from the Japanese romanization for "killer," it isn't gendered whatsoever.

Also, evidence shows the majority of serial killers are male, so I'd argue that the statistics favor the fujoshis here.

🏎 fastandyurious

well evidence shows that female serial killers are just more fun to write about and I'd argue that you're ignoring my fucking POINT which is that we DON'T KNOW KIRA'S GENDER and if people don't want to read lesbian kiratective they can FUCK OFF MY BLOG

🥚 i-offer-eggman Follow

I offer you an Eggman in these trying times.

🔮 I-stands-for-le-gay Follow

@lashitpostcalligrapher yo can i get "the statistics favor the fujoshis" on my tombstone

#fandom: kira rpf #ship: kiral #never heard it called kiratective before… #also uh. prayer circle for op's classmate lmaoooo

2,107 notes

💃🏻 modelingmadness Follow

BOYCOTT EIGHTEEN MAGAZINE

THEY ALLOW KIRA-SUPPORTING MODELS AND ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS MASSACRE

SOURCES HERE AND HERE (TRIGGER WARNING: KIRA DISCUSSION)

PUSH BACK AGAINST HEART ATTACKS

🧚🏽‍♂️ harubaru Follow

golly gee ^_^ suddenly i feel like taking to the high seas in a way that the eighteen company cant get profit from. oh no ! who left this link here

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

thanks for the link but jesus fucking christ man what happened to free speech. misa-misa's parents were killed by a burglar who kira punished. did you all expect her to just sit there, look pretty, and say nothing about it?

you people only like models when they're nice pictures for you to consume. you only like them two-dimensional and smiling and hot. the second a woman actually speaks her mind she's thrown to the wolves

💃🏻 modelingmadness

DID YOU NOT SEE MY BANNER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

#BLOCKED

140 notes

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

lol. lmao even

#they blocked me but whatever #official eighteen site just said misamisa wont be in the next issue #(eighteen sucks but i kind of want to use it more out of spite now) #so much for apologism huh? #god. i feel sick. #hasn't she been through enough.

1 note

🥷🏻 kira-imagines Follow

Imagine you're going home after a long day. Suddenly there's a sound. "Huh? Whose there" you ask, dropping your keys on the floor. Then you feel it. A knife pressing in your neck.

"Don't move kitten" Kira purrs behind you. "You're all mine now…"

#kiraxreader #kiraxoc #kira #kira rpf #kira investigation #kira fucker #kira fudger #kira lover #kira haters dont touch #kira haters please touch #kira supporters please touch #l

5,733 notes

asahi-the-student-deactivated201

Hello, everyone! My little sister told me about this microblogging platform (I admit, I'm a Twitter refugee) and that many of you are discussing the Kira investigation on here. I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts are!

💋 sunny-sayu Follow

let the record show he lasted like. a day

#i think it was the imagines that did him in #bro is so sensitive :p

15 notes

kiyomitakada

the world could be beautiful

[ @deathnotetober day 14: trigger ]

[marklikely]

lbr he (and i) would get a lot of glee from seeing marvel and sony and any company they partnered with gain absolutely 0 dollars in merch sales from one of the most popular characters in their movie because his fans opted to cobble together their own merch or commission directly from artists

put that hot topic spider punk merch down immediately and get out your diy supplies or i swear to god

[houseofpurplestars]

"Make Contractors Afraid Again:

Posted on November 15, 2023-

On the night of November 13th we set fire to 6 Ernst concrete trucks at 553 Seaboard Industrial Drive. Ernst is pouring the foundation for Cop City. This site, like so many others, is completely unguarded.

Front-pouring cement mixing trucks have large rear engine compartments which can be accessed without opening any doors. We placed incendiary devices and kindling near the engine block, the fuel tank behind it, and the double rear tires. We encourage further experimentation with incendiary placement.

There was a time when contractors were afraid to take on this project. If we can make the cost of the contract greater than the profit, they will drop it. Sneaking around at night is fun and burning shit is cool."

[leebrontide]

New Intro post!

Hi everyone, I'm Lee (any pronouns) and I write, draw, and animate a bit. I am a therapist by day, but I'm not your therapist, so please do not try to interact with me in that capacity.

My blog is a writeblr first and foremost but I'm gonna be honest I post about a whole lot of different things. My favorites include psych stuff, gardening, science, politics (mostly US), very intermittent fandom things, the odd shitpost, and pictures of my very photogenic cats.

I have a free monthly newsletter that I'm very proud of, where I write about those things and then actually edit them, add research links, etc. Especially when those subjects interact with research for my books.

I have two books out: Secondhand Origin Stories and Names in their Blood. Those are the first 2 books in a 5 book series called Second Sentinels. On the surface they're superhero novels. At their heart they're family dramas. In the middle they're low neon cyberpunk, near future scifi, political commentary, midwest gothic, and sometimes a murder mystery. They are very queer but most of the angst is not about that. They're also very much about disability but please don't picture some Very Special Episode shit when I say that. This is much angrier and messier than that.

You can find a variety of ways to read or listen to those here, and the first book in the series is free in ebook form. ALL my profits from those sales go to proven climate orgs.

I'm working on book 3 in the series, tentatively called Brittle Idols, right now. It has a genetic engineering cult in rural Iowa in the middle of a blizzard! It's gonna be fun.

I'm also working on a fun mecha/body horror/terraforming story with my wife. It’s inspired by anime we watched in our youth and frustration with late stage, unfettered capitalism. This is very much in early development, but here are my poor unfortunate pilots.

My animation is entirely focused on making a full movie-trailer style thing for Secondhand Origin Stories. I learned to animate specifically to be able to make this, but my animating won't end there.

I like following writeblrs, especially writeblr's that aren't ONLY about people's writing. I like getting to know PEOPLE. It doesn't feel like community to me otherwise. I particularly love:

scifi

late YA

heavily character driven work

family drama

queer stuff

multi-POV stories

chonky series

Thanks for reading this far!

Here are those photogenic cats I was telling you about.

[schlatt-love-bot]

The Babysitters Club

Babysitter Schlatt x Babysitter Reader Headcanon

Had a quite a bit of fun writing this one, paternal Schlatt really gets my heart going LMAO

Enjoy!

You and Schlatt were best friends in high school, and being best friends with a future entrepreneur only meant one thing–you were in for a LOT of money making schemes

“Well, we tried the lemonade stand, got told we’re too old…got fired from our bodega jobs for goofing off too much…what is there left for us to do?”

You could see the gears in Schlatt’s brain begin to turn, as all of a sudden he perked up. He came up with something

“Hmm…you like kids, right (Y/N)?” 

“Uhh…I guess you could say that? Why?” 

“I know the perfect business for us.”

Lo and behold, Schlatt and Co.’s Babysitting Service was created 

Schlatt would arrange a babysitting schedule for you, and most of the time you would go out on your own, babysit the kids, and split profits with him for managing your schedule

Sometimes, though, depending on how many kids were in one home, or how many sessions you had in a day, Schlatt would step up and give you a hand

Today was one of those days, as he scheduled you to solo-babysit one toddler from 12 to 3, but at 5:00? You had 5 children to keep an eye on, one who was only a few months old and the eldest being 9-almost-10 years old

Knowing you’d have your work cut out for you in the beginning of the day, chasing a toddler around a park while Mom and Dad were at a meeting, Schlatt decided he would be a kind best friend and boss and help you out

Not to mention, this was an overnight babysitting venture, and Schlatt was looking for any opportunity to spend a little extra time with you 

“So, how was the kid this afternoon?” 

“Good! He just wouldn’t stop running around, I felt like I was chasing a dog all afternoon.” 

Schlatt knocked on the door to your next house, the parents frantically opening the door, rushing you in to give you the basic breakdown before rushing out

“If you need anything, there’s our emergency contact numbers posted on the fridge, there’s a binder of basic information on our little monsters on the wet bar in the kitchen, next to that is some money to buy a pizza for dinner tonight. Need anything, call Grandma, she lives up the street. Thanks, see you both in the morning!” 

They practically ran out of the house, as you heard the 5 month old let out a whining cry, and the two eldest children began running laps around the two of you

You looked at Schlatt, your eyes wide, this was definitely going to be your biggest challenge yet

“You take the youngin’s, I’ll take the older shits?” 

“Yes, please!”

You made your way over to the crib, which housed the 5 month old, and sitting next to the 5 month old inside an adjacent playpen were a 2 year old and a 5 year old, playing with various toys

You picked up the 5 month old and instinctively began to rock the baby, making small talk with the other two kids about what toys they were playing, and other things they generally seemed interested 

“Is screen time okay for these two, or are we going the organic, touch grass way with these rugrats?” 

“Hmmm, check the binder. Mom and Dad probably have rules about screen time, maybe after dinner?” 

You heard the two kids, and Schlatt, let out a sigh of disappointment, as you watched Schlatt convince the two boys it was perfect baseball weather, and out they went

“Say, girls, do you want to go and play with some of your patio toys? It’s such a gorgeous day out, we shouldn’t waste daylight!” 

You were met with many tiny “yes”s, walking with the baby still wrapped tightly in your arms

You and the girls began to play with some of the chalk they had laying out on the patio pavement, teaching the girls how to draw out squares for hopscotch, telling them how to play

You couldn’t help yourself from sneaking glances every once in a while to Schlatt and the other two kiddos out on the lawn, Schlatt tossing low balls to the boys, acting like they knocked them out of the ballpark and insisting they “ran the bases” around him 

A smile crept up on your face, you began to grow a little jealous of whoever would be spending their lives parenting with him

“Man, you like him don’t you!” 

You whipped your head around, seeing the 5 year old staring at you, as her 2 year old sister stood behind her, snickering

“W-what? Absolutely not, we’re good friends. What do you know about liking someone, hmm?” 

“That’s the same look my mommy gives my daddy every single day!” 

You felt your cheeks begin to heat, needing to figure out a way to avoid these two little children from grilling you any further 

“Girls, why don’t we go in and get you cleaned up, you’re covered in chalk. Maybe we can see what’s in your cupboards and make ourselves a little treat, huh?”

The girls were eager to do so, running past you and into the house

The little one in your arms wound up a bit fussy, so you placed her into 

All washed up and ready to go, the girls drug you over to a box of cake mix, insisting that you help them make cupcakes 

You didn’t want to use anything without permission, though, so you sent a quick text over to mom and dad to make sure they were okay with you using the box mix with the kids

They were ecstatic you weren’t just shoving their tablets in their faces, so they absolutely allowed you to bake with them

The girls were excited, donning their little aprons they had stored in the pantry

Baby started to get interested in what was going on, peering over the edge of the playpen, so you picked her up and carried her (and a toy, just in case) over to a high chair in the kitchen

The girls excitedly showed you were everything was that you would need, and you let them have total control over adding things to the mixing bowl (fishing out egg shells, when necessary)

By the time the cupcakes went into the oven, the boys came walking into the house, dirty and sweaty, and their pants definitely stained from sliding in the dirt outside

“Schlatt!”

“What? He needed to slide into home plate, otherwise he would’ve gotten out! You wouldn’t understand!” 

Despite the unexpected bath times, the rest of the night went rather smoothly

Schlatt and yourself wrangled the kids together for some pizza dinner, allowing them to decorate their own cupcakes for dessert afterwards, and once their bellies were all full, it was time to wind things down for the night 

You tucked the baby into her crib, heading to the girl’s room to tuck them in and read a little story to them

On your way there, you glanced into the boy’s room, seeing Schlatt making sure that both the 7 and 9 year olds were set and ready for bed, telling them tales from his baseball experiences (he was the best first baseman in your school, after all) 

You didn’t want to get caught staring, so you continued forward and to the girl’s room

You helped the two put on their pajamas, tucking them in their beds before sitting in the rocking chair by both of their beds, having “Goodnight Moon” picked from the shelf to read tonight 

“Goodnight stars, goodnight air…Goodnight noises everywhere!” 

By the time you finished, both girls had their eyes closed tight, peacefully asleep

You smiled to yourself, content with how the evening has gone, looking up to see Schlatt leaned against the doorframe, the same smile painted on his lips

Heat crept up your cheeks as you placed the book back on their bookshelf, heading out of the room and downstairs to the living room with him

“So…that wasn’t so bad after all, huh?”

“Well, toots, we sure do make a pretty good team…” 

He slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer 

“Y’know…I think I saw a new side of you today. You playing ball with those two…I never seen you so…soft before.” 

“What can I say, baby, kids have a special way of makin’ a person soft...” 

He hesitated continuing, but your raised brow made him go on

“And…seeing you with that baby on your hip, the girls in the kitchen…you’re gonna be a perfect mom some day, (Y/N).” 

You began to blush, looking up at him, wondering if he was feeling the same way you were 

Before you could ask, Schlatt excused himself to the kitchen, coming back with two cupcakes in his hands, handing you one before sitting back down on the couch 

“You worked hard on these with the girls, you deserve a little treat too, princess.” 

He smirked, before swiping his cupcake against your nose, making your jaw drop

“Hey! What was that for?” 

“Whoops, here, let me get that…” 

He leaned forward, kissing the icing off your nose, his eyes plotting 

“Hmm, hold on…I think you’ve got a little something here…” 

You took this opportunity to smoosh your cupcake against his mouth, and before he had the chance to speak, you quickly leaned in, kissing him on the lips

He didn’t back off, answering your question from earlier as to if he felt the same

In fact, he swiftly put his cupcake down on the coffee table in front of you, grabbing your cheeks to deepen the kiss

“Ewww!”

“I told you so! Mommy and Daddy do the same thing after we bake together!” 

You quickly backed up, looking up the stairs to see all 4 of the kids out of bed, peering over the banister 

“Little shits, I swear to God…” 

You laughed, wiping the icing from your face before heading upstairs to put all the kids back into bed, making sure they stayed asleep this time, before heading back downstairs to see Schlatt fast asleep on the couch 

Sighing contently, you crawled onto the couch next to him, placing your head nearby his chest before slowly falling asleep yourself, feeling an arm wrap around you to pull you closer