#shit omg i typed mind sight instead of mind set

[1dfunfacts]

The Payne motto is malo mori quam foedari, which translates to "I would rather die than be disgraced."

Of course you guys can take my word (or www.houseofnames.com 's word) for this, or you can watch Liam say it himself as he explains his tattoos.

[seesgood]

can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick?  not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the  disclaimer  here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change.  think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves. 

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with. 

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind. 

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person. 

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad. 

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care. 

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense. 

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people. 

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see. 

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”

[andypantsx3]

Hello my gorgeous garbage gremlin ❤️ congrats on your 1 year! I’m going to do something wild and request Midoriya+7 for the ficlet ☺️

Omg this was so hard lol, I did my best to write him!! I hope you like it!!!

Disappear | Deku/Reader

Prompt: “No, I’m not letting you go”  Word Count: 1360 words Tags/Warnings: petty criminal Reader, pro hero AU Notes: Thank you @bobawithpomegranate for beta reading!!

The fact of the matter was, you’d needed the money.

The Black Rats were a group of low-level, petty street criminals, and they had offered to pay your way out of things. But you owed them favors in exchange, messages carried from place to seedy place, strings of break-ins and robberies that left your pockets full but a sour taste in your mouth. You’d become all too adept at stealing, threatening, reading the political tides of the gangs in your district, things that the old you—safely ensconced in her lower-middle-class life—could hardly have even imagined.

You were looking forward to cashing out the Rats’ final favor—something you hoped would be the end of things, though one never really knew with criminals—and disappearing, matters settled and your obligations fulfilled. You planned to try and start fresh somewhere else. 

You should have known things wouldn’t be as simple as that.

The last favor they’d needed of you was a mugging, a distraction of a target at a certain time and place. 

Though they wouldn’t tell you what they needed him distracted for, you guessed it was likely the usual. You’d been used in similar schemes before, while the Rats cased a home or an office, something they often did with big business types. They’d store the information away and steal from the victims later or they’d trade the information away for a very pretty penny if they found something particularly interesting. 

The only information they did pass to you was a time and a place, and a general description of the target’s appearance and quirk—a man with green curls and some kind of strengthening quirk. That would be easy enough to deal with, you thought, so long as you kept him on the other side of your gun.

You didn’t like muggings, but it was honestly better you did it than anyone else in the Rats. You, at least, had no intention of killing anyone if things went wrong, and always left your gun unloaded in case of escalations. You didn’t need to become a murderer on top of everything else you had turned into.

You arrived at a fairly unassuming street in the heart of one of the nicer districts, nearing two a.m.. Judging by the insane hour, you had guessed your target must be something like an investment banker. 

When you caught sight of him, however, he didn’t look much like a financier at all.

Messy green curls spilled out from under the hood of a worn All Might sweatshirt, a gym bag over one broad shoulder like he was just returning from a workout. Faded jeans stretched over strong thighs, and a pair of bright red sneakers topped off the whole look. You rather thought, from the little that you could see, that your target looked more like a college athletics student than an investment banker.

You crept after him slowly, fingering your gun.

Only to freeze when he stopped and turned around, green eyes fixing themselves resolutely on you.

You whipped your gun up reflexively, training it at that head of messy curls. Well, there went the element of surprise.

“Put your hands up,” you demanded. “I only want your money. This doesn’t have to get....messy….” you trailed off, realizing his features looked kind of familiar to you.

Your first thought was that he was way too sweet-faced to have the muscles he clearly did. Even equipped with a jawline so sharp it could cut diamond, he looked far too innocent—large, round green eyes and a sweet spray of freckles like he’d grown up in the sunshine. It was too bad you had to mug him. He looked like a nice, wholesome boy, the kind anybody would be proud to bring home to their parents.

Your second thought was wait, fuck, that’s pro hero Deku.

Christ, had you been set up to distract Japan’s number one hero?

“Shit,” was all that escaped you. You groped around for an explanation. “This isn’t what you think.”

Deku raised an arm to mess with the curls at the back of his head. You were momentarily distracted by the telling shift of muscle beneath his sleeve, before you blinked, rerouting your brain to the task at hand. Now was not the time.

“I’m going to have to take you in,” he said, in that same gentle lilt you’d heard in a thousand TV broadcasts. It would have been calming under other circumstances, but not now. Not when you were trapped on a street with a pro who you knew was capable of cracking your skull with the flick of a finger.

You took a step back. “You can’t.”

Those green eyes tracked you closely as you backed away, picking curiously over your gun. “Is it loaded?”

Not that it mattered here. You’d seen more than one fight in which he’d moved fast enough to dodge bullets. Maybe if you were honest, you could try talking your way out of things instead.

“No,” you admitted, lowering the gun. “So there’s really no reason to take me in, right? You were never in any actual danger…”

The corner of Deku’s mouth curled in an apologetic little smile. “This is still a crime, you know. Though you may get off lighter.”

The naming of a crime tickled something in the back of your brain, and you realized with a sudden horror that if you had actually been sent to distract a pro hero, the Rats were up to something way worse than a casing. If you had been sent to distract Japan’s number one, then you shuddered to think of exactly what it was that needed covering up.

“Wait, listen,” you said, before you even realized your mouth was moving. “Something’s happening. I don’t know what but I was sent to distract someone tonight, disguised as a mugging. If it’s you, then I think that means it’s something really, really bad.”

If you were going down, then so were the fucking Rats.

Deku watched you with a cocked head, those green eyes so intent it was almost unnerving. “That does sound very convenient.”

“I’m not lying,” you said. Then you dug around in your pockets. “I don’t know if this proves anything, but here.”

You pulled out the paper containing the description of him, the time and the place, and thrust it at him. Deku stepped closer, rough, calloused fingers brushing over yours as he took it from you. Up close, he was warm and clean-smelling, just this side of sweet—like mint toothpaste and fabric softener, you realized. He was even more solid-looking up close, and his proximity was suddenly doing weird things to your ability to breathe.

“And I suppose you want me to run off and investigate, and just let you go?” Deku asked, looking up at you once he’d scanned the page. His gaze was so focused, and you felt not unlike a particularly fascinating amoeba under a microscope.

“Uh, ideally. Yeah.”

He laughed a little under his breath, but he looked like he was considering things. 

“No, I’m not letting you go. If I go to find out what’s going on, I’ll find you again,” he promised.

The threat, if it could be called that, sent a strange little shiver down your spine.

Well, he could try.

You’d dropped off the map a long time ago, no longer connected to the life you’d previously lived. And you had already been packed in anticipation of completing this final favor for the Rats, prepared to leave and start over again. You could be out of the city before he’d even found the Rats.

“I’m sure you will,” you said.

You were sure he wouldn’t.

Green eyes searched over you one more time. “I’ll be back for you,” he said. He watched you for a moment longer, looking almost as if he might change his mind.

And then he was gone and you were alone in the street, relieved of your gun though you hadn’t even seen him go for it.

You let that one slide, though, not wanting to waste time.

You were going to gather your things, and then you were going to disappear.

Event masterlist in pinned!

[binniedeactivated]

Binnie!!,, I’ve been feening for your toxic!kai drabbles this entire week omg you write him so well 💆🏾‍♀️. I was wondering if you could write one based on the song “Heartbeat” by Childish Gambino please 🙇🏾‍♀️. (I feel like this suits the relationship he has with the reader sm😭) LOVE YOU💕💕

[ heuning kai ] - 9:43pm

[ word count ] - 945

notes - thank you sm babe! I’ve never heard the song before actually so it took a couple of listens for me to get the gist 😭 but I hope you like this! Ily too babe <3

she threw another pair of stilettos in her closet so she could look for something different. It was a bad habit of hers really, and it’s the reason why her shoes were never in their proper order. whenever she needed shoes all she did was scramble through them all just to find the ones that went perfect with her outfit. But she was so indecisive none of them ever did.

she instead decided to allow her son to give her a little advice. she turns around and smooths out her short auburn cocktail dress. she didn’t have much curves to fit it the way she wanted but the small dips in the pear shaped body she saw in the mirror was enough for her. she loved herself and the way her dark skin contrasted the color of the dress made her love herself even more. she just hoped that the guy on the blind date her friends set her up with felt the same way. “so? what do you think baby?”. her son shifted his hazelnut colored eyes to the woman at the foot of the bed and he smiled softly, his dimples depressed into the both of his soft cheeks and his curly black disheveled hair was a result of him laying down for almost the entirety of the afternoon.

“you look so pretty mommy. where are you going? Are you leaving me?”. the five year old smiled before he sort of pouted. his high pitched voice always made her heart warm. he was such a sweetie for her. “Thank you baby. Mommy’s going on a date tonight”. he furrowed his brows. “A date? why a date? Where am I going to go?”. she thanked god for the pair of heels she found peeking from underneath her bed. they were perfect. “I’m just going to have fun hopefully. And you’re going with daddy. he should be picking you up soon”. at the sound of that he instantly perked his head up higher and smiled from ear to ear. “Really?? I’m going with daddy?!”.

That’s another thing, she hated his father. she hated heuning kai. but the one thing she couldn’t say about him was that he was a bad father. he treated Blaise the way she wished her father had treated her. And blaise loved him with all his heart. She would never let their relationship get between their father to son bond. It always felt odd though, loving someone that looked so much like the man she despised.

once she finished strapping her heels on she grabbed her purse and checked her phone, hoping her date hadn’t arrived too early. she didn’t even get time to open her messages before the doorbell rung. her heart thumped around nervously. She didn’t know what to expect, hell she didn’t even know what the man even looked like. she just hoped to god that above all else he was nice. Lord knows she needed a man that wasn’t so toxic and controlling for once in her life. but her friends had her best interest so she trusted them. she twisted the doorknob pulling the front door open expecting to see her knight and shining armor. that wasn’t what she got though, instead it was her son’s blonde haired father in his normal attire, an oversized grey hoodie and sweatpants. she took no time looking back at her bedroom yelling, “Blaise get your stuff! Daddy’s here”.

while she did that though kai didn’t hesitate taking a glimpse of her body and beauty. she was a living bratz doll he’ll admit that. His heart raced at the sight of her. it always did but the heart pounding was more intense this time around since she was extra dolled up like this. By the time she turned back around she could see his eyes wandering around her waist before shortly settling into her eyes. standing beneath him was intimidating to say the least. His gaze made her blush every single time and he knew it. To prevent doing it though she always looked away, afraid of falling for him so easily like she been doing for the past few years.

“you look gorgeous. where you going?”.

“blaise hurry up. What’s taking you so long?”. she ignored him wondering what her son was doing all of a sudden. Usually he ran right up to his father. He was probably packing toys to bring. kai noticed how reserved she was being . “so you can’t answer my questions now?”.

“kai please. worry about yourself alright? I’m going out and you came here to pick up Blaise so do that”.

he quickly put on that cunning smile he always wore. he always thought her attitude was cute. especially when it never phased him at all. “why do you act like this?”.

“Act like what?”.

“Act like you hate my guts. just come to your fucking senses already. this relationship has been the same cycle for the last five years”.

“because you’re a two timing bastard who doesn’t know how to move on and leave it at that. you do the same shit heuning. you sit here and act like you want me and then I find out you’re with some other girl. I’m so sick of you”.

he leans against the door frame, towering over her once again with that cute ass small smirk of his. his shoulders were so broad and he looked a bit more muscular than normal but that was besides the point. she wasn’t trying to focus on his appearance. “The only girl I want is you though. you know that. and stop acting like you don’t be with other guys too. I know you better than you think”.

“whatever”.

“so who are you fucking now? i bet it’s some preppy ass corporate dickhead. you always fall for those types”.

“can you mind your business? whoever I’m with has nothing to do with you”.

he leans closer, cupping her chin with his hand. his gaze was lethal and she froze at the sight of it.

“that whole fake attitude that you’re doing isn’t working. It has everything to do with me. Because while you’re with him guess who you’re going to be texting? Hm? Isn’t that what you always do?”.

A tidal wave of guilt washed over her. She didn’t know whether to release herself from his grip or to stay because believe it or not, the sound of his voice alone turned her into putty. “Kai you stop it”.

“texting me all the fucking time. telling me how much your new guy sucks, telling me how much you want me. Isn’t that what you do?”.

she stuttered a small no, lying through her teeth. she knew it wouldn’t save her pride but he had a way of degrading and humiliating her without saying much of anything.

“If you’re going to lie about it I’ll make it your reality. that would be hell on earth wouldn’t it? since your always pouting about how your new man can’t make you cum?”.

the way he made her yearn for him every single time was dangerous. he knew just what to do. he knew what to say to have her where he wanted her. that what was his specialty. manipulation at its finest. he curled his tongue between her lips before he kissed her, their lips being so mesmerizing when conjoined that she never looked forward to when he pulled away. he always did just enough. just enough to let her taste him and instantly want more.

“Daddy! I’m ready now!”. The small boy ran to his father’s legs hugging them excitedly with his Superman backpack strapped to his shoulders, he was ready for whatever adventure they were about to go on together. “Where you been buddy I was waiting so long for you!”. Kai playfully scolded. “I had to get my toys! I’m ready now!”.

kai took one last glare at her knowing more than anything she was regretting the decision to go out with someone else. he smirked even still. “have fun on your date”.

[7fckingidiots]

Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name 

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys 

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

[yuthoe]

Day 22: Reunion (MONSTA X: Yoo Kihyun)

TODAY'S LATE PROMPT FOR MTM IS:

Day 22: Fake Dating

ah yes, one of the favorite tropes in fanfic and i did not do it justice at all lmao. truthfully i was really excited about this, but the fic took a left somewhere and grew its own mind or smth. i think the poor writing is a combination of burnout and getting really distracted lmao.

tried to make kihyun the savage guy that he is, but still polite and considerate and i think i did that???? question mark???? please tell me what you thought about this lmao, i've never been to a high school reunion (except for my grandma's) and will never go to one anytime soon.

PAIRING: Yoo Kihyun x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff, mild angst. WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, swearing. WORD COUNT: 1,769.

---

“Act natural,” you say as you smooth down the lapels of your friend’s coat, dust some lint off the shoulders. “Like, just act like normal. We just have to say hi to a few people and then go after an hour or something.”

Kihyun is looking you over as well, straightening out the sleeves of your shirt and making sure your hair is nice and styled and perfect. “I’m taking that as a go signal to tease you in front of everyone then, gotcha.”

You roll your eyes and take his hand, tugging him towards the glass door of the events hall. “Very funny, but you know what? These people might buy it even more, so go ahead.”

He intertwines your fingers as he pushes the door open for you. There’s a smirk on his face that says you’re going to regret what you just said. “If you say so," he says, as you pull him along with you.

Everything is decorated like a senior prom from the early 2000s--balloons everywhere, streamers hung up on the walls, a disco ball suspended in the middle of the room. There's a stage set up at the far wall, and popular tracks from your high school days play softly on the sound system. People are already mingling, table hopping when they see a familiar face.

You go to the small registration booth off to the side, Kihyun in tow, and sign on the space next to your name, walking away quickly to find a table. It's easy to weave through the thin crowd to your spot, and thankfully no one goes up to talk to you as you settle in.

A relieved sigh escapes your lips as you deflate against the seat; Kihyun chuckles at the sight.

"Why are you so nervous? You were so confident when you asked me out,” he says, smirking at your flustered state.

“Hey,” you counter, sitting up straight and pointing at him. There’s a smile of embarrassment threatening to crawl up your face, but you force it down. “This isn’t a date. I didn’t ask you out—I respectfully asked if you could come with me to my high school reunion and pretend we’re dating. There’s a difference.”

He tilts his head and laughs. “Okay, fine, this isn’t a date. But you’re shaking like a hamster, dude. What’s got you so jittery?”

Before you can open your mouth to say something smart, a yell of your name behind you makes you stop. Suddenly a flurry of pink silk ruffles envelops you, cold metal bracelets press against your face and neck, and a tinnitus-inducing squeal is blasted in your ear.

“OMG, I can’t believe you made it!” The offending classmate plops down the seat beside you and… you can’t say you remember her. You know you have a questionable memory, but you can’t recall anyone with a scarily-toothy smile and long acrylic nails. “I was wondering if you were gonna show today, I missed you!”

You smile warily. “Yeah, I thought I’d stop by, just for a bi—,”

“And who is this with you?” she interrupts, gaze fixed on your friend now.

Kihyun still has a polite smile on, eyebrow raised and patiently waiting for you to introduce him. You meet his eyes and take a steadying breath.

“This is, uh. Kihyun. My boyfriend.”

Your batchmate immediately extends a hand out to him. “Hi there! I’m Danhee. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Kihyun grasps her hand and shakes it firmly. “Likewise.”

Danhee (apparently, that’s her name. Still doesn’t ring a bell.) turns back to you, props an elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand. “So what have you been up to lately?”

“Oh, you know, nothing much,” you say, twiddling your thumbs under the table. “Work’s keeping me busy, mostly. It’s pretty—,”

“Great! How’d you two meet?” Her eyes are sparkling, in that menacing way you’re familiar with when someone is hunting for gossip. “Probably work, right? I know Y/N isn’t that outgoing so I doubt—,”

“You know what, I’m gonna go get a drink.” You turn to Kihyun, desperate to get away. “You want a drink, Kihyun? Cool, I’ll get you something.” The chair screeches as you push away from the table and make a beeline for the buffet.

The air conditioning helps cool down your flaming face as you leave to get some reprieve from the suffocating air of the table. No matter how much you wrack your brain you can’t seem to remember anyone named Danhee; maybe she was in another class and part of the popular clique, a group you tended to stay away from.

You take a deep breath, surveying the array of finger food and wonder briefly what the main dishes are. The arrangement is no different from the ones you’ve seen at company parties—save maybe for the small picket signs that have slang from your high school days speared into some of the food. Despite looking delicious, you feel nauseous at the thought of taking a bite.

The drinks corner offers coffee, the kind that tries to pass off as Americano but ends up tasting more like candy because people keep putting too much sugar in it. It’s what you and Kihyun call “conference coffee” and shit on for the entirety of the conference you’re attending, even as you keep drinking it because there’s usually no other choice. Water is an option, as well as a fruit punch of some kind. If you’re being honest, you’d really like a beer right now, but you know the alcohol won’t come out until later.

In addition to the mound of paperwork you forced yourself to finish earlier, this week has just been plain exhausting. You’d hoped that coming to the reunion would help you relax, but apparently not.

Ice cubes clink as they go down the tall glasses. The coffee, however sugary it turns out to be, still smells heavenly and wakes you up some. You water both servings down a bit, if only to tamp down the syrupy sweetness.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says, hand coming down to rest on your shoulder. Kihyun moves into your line of vision, brows slightly scrunched. “You okay there?”

You don’t answer, thinking of words to say that won’t make you look pathetic in front of your work partner. You’re usually great at explaining and justifying your actions to your superiors, but words fail you this time.

So you just shrug and hand him his drink. “Can’t say for sure.” You take a sip and cringe; your mouth feels like it’s coated in a thick layer of sugar. Kihyun watches you and decides wisely to put his drink down, but pours two glasses of water.

“Do you know her?” he asks, concentrating on the drinks.

“Danhee? Nah. I mostly avoided her type back then. Being around them made me uncomfy.”

“‘Cuz she looks like a part of the Plastics from Mean Girls?”

You scoff. “No,” you say, but smile all the same as you walk back to your table. “Because I was a loner and operated on the mindset of ‘I’m not like other girls’ throughout high school.”

Kihyun laughs loud. “God, I didn’t think you were the type.”

“Unfortunately, yeah.” You sigh as you sit back down. “Thankfully outgrew that in college, though. Turns out being surrounded with a lot of open-minded people does something to your personality, and,” you open your arms, presenting yourself to Kihyun’s amused smile. “Now you have me, your beloved hardworking partner that throws snark at you everyday.”

If anything, his grin gets wider. Kihyun raises his glass of water, and you toast. “I’m proud of you for becoming so mature.” He takes a drink, making faces like he’s downing whiskey instead of regular water. “Although, apparently not mature enough to just ask me out plain and simple.”

You want to strangle him, you really do.

He’s right, though. Part of the reason why you invited him as your plus one is for moral support and to show people that the wallflower can also nab a man as great as Kihyun. But the other reason is that you’ve wanted to ask Kihyun on a date, but just didn’t know how to without embarrassing yourself.

You sigh and take a swig of your water. “Yeah, well, can you blame me, though? We always keep professional at work and I barely see you outside the building, so I haven’t really gotten a chance to ask.” You’re not lying—Kihyun being here is only possible because you left the building at the same time last week and asked him then before you chickened out.

He tilts his head in assent and takes another sip before crossing his arms on the table to whisper at you. “How about we make this a date, then?”

You raise an eyebrow, smiling like you can’t believe he suggested such a ridiculous thing. “What—here? My high school reunion that I only invited you to because I didn’t want to be alone?”

And maybe it’s the trick of the light, but you think you see his eyes go soft. “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not ideal, but we’re here anyway. There’s free food, shitty coffee, and some entertainment.” He tilts his head to the stage, and you follow his gaze to where a couple of your batchmates are discussing something, mics in their hands. “Whether it’s the good kind of entertainment or the cringy kind though, we’ll find out soon,” you hear him whisper.

In theory, you have nothing to lose. Nothing really to hide. Perhaps the worst part of the night passed when you had that panicked moment with Danhee earlier, and all that’s left is to enjoy the night. You can still leave in an hour or two like you planned, but now with a higher chance of getting a few drinks afterwards, too.

So you make your decision and look back at him. “All right, Yoo Kihyun,” you say. “You’ve got yourself a date.”

His smile morphs into a smirk, the trademark confident grin making a small shudder run down your spine. You try to keep your composure as he slides a hand to your thigh. “Perfect. Wanna bet you’ll last an hour before you want to leave?” His fingers are massaging your knee, soft hands gentle on the meat of your thigh.

You scoff, grabbing at his hand to make him stop. “Deal. I’ll bet you an hour and a half.”

And before you turn your attention back to the stage, you see his smirk again, excited for the challenge.

[honeymooneyy]

Hii, I just wanted to say that I'm in love with your writing and what you have done so far <3 and I was wondering if you could do a pt 2 on missed you :).

Take care,

- m.i

omg thank you!! here you go!!! i hope you enjoy <3

Missed You - part two

Remus wasn’t the type to spend an excessive amount of money on beauty products - or really anything to spoil himself.

But at the sight of Sirius’ hair, he couldn’t help but buy the most expensive shampoo and conditioner the store had. He also bought an assortment of other snacks, including Sirius' favorite crisps and candies.

Remus didn't think they gave him many fun snacks in Azkaban.

Even though he wanted to dote on him and make up for the abuse he put up with for twelve years, he knew it wouldn't make a difference. He wasn't even sure if he'd eat the crisps seeing as he was more often a dog than not. Remus suspected it was some sort of coping mechanism.

But either way, he took those baby steps with Sirius. Even if it meant watching the telly with Padfoot curled up on the other side of the couch - all that mattered was that they had each other for company. And it seemed to be making a difference.

The other day, Remus caught Sirius humming along to a vinyl playing and it warmed his heart. In another lifetime they'd be singing along together as they cleaned the house for a dinner party for their friends, and the fact that it could never happen hurt Remus beyond belief. But he had Sirius.

Thankfully, Dumbledore hadn't roped them into another mission for the Order, so the two had time to readjust to their old lives. Everything felt so painstakingly familiar.

Remus noticed the small things, the way they both took the same sides of the couch as they once did, similar to their seats at the kitchen table. Remus was still the one to cook while Sirius set the table, and while Sirius didn't come up behind him to distract him with kisses, it felt comfortingly familiar.

They still had yet to bring up their old relationship and it was killing Remus. He knew they couldn't go back to "normal", but he longed to have some sort of closeness with Sirius. He missed their mindless touches while watching the telly, feet thrown on the other's lap, or even just sitting close enough their shoulders brushed. He missed hooking their ankles together whilst eating dinner. He missed holding him while they slept. Remus missed the side of Sirius only he got to witness.

One Friday night, when Remus was almost certain Sirius had gone to sleep, he let himself pull out a bottle of firewhiskey. He had just opened it up when Sirius' bedroom door cracked open and he emerged. He had spent the day as Padfoot, but now he was back to himself.

"Thought you were asleep," Remus mumbled, feeling much like a kid who got caught drinking. He had to remind himself that he was an adult and it was his flat and he could drink whenever he'd like.

Sirius just shrugged, "I was gonna lie down but I'm not tired. I haven't talked to you in a bit."

Remus nodded, holding out a glass which Sirius accepted. Remus tipped his head back, finishing off what was left in his shot glass. When he straightened, he realized Sirius had been staring, his eyes flickering to Remus' lips and then back to his own glass. Remus' stomach flipped at the intensity of his stare and mirrored him, instead studying his glass.

"I haven't drank in so long," Sirius mused, studying the small glass intently. "How much you wanna bet I'm a lightweight now."

"Let's see," Remus grinned and it only widened when Sirius matched it. He held out his glass and Sirius clinked his own before downing it.

One turned into two turned into four and Sirius was definitely a lightweight.

Remus wasn't hundred percent sure how much the two of them had drank but it was definitely too much. The drinks had loosened Sirius up and he was actually laughing along with Remus and humming along to the vinyl Remus had put on.

"I can't believe Snivellus is a teacher at Hogwarts," Sirius snorted, shaking his head. "Dumbledore is crazy."

"Dumbledore doesn't think of anyone but himself," Remus rolled his eyes. "Did he really think we'd be able to get along as colleagues?"

"Did you?"

"Merlin, no. He made my students write essays on the ways to kill a werewolf when I missed class for a full moon. He never got over it, did he?"

"What the fuck, did he actually?" Sirius' eyes widened and he sat up straighter.

Remus shrugged, "It's fine. I'm not a kid anymore, I don't care."

"I hate him. Always hated him, always will."

"Cheers to that!"

The two drank another shot.

In the end, it was Remus who had to put a stop to it. It was well past midnight and they weren't teenagers who could stay up all night anymore. Sirius was piss drunk and could barely stand, yet was still cursing Snape's name.

Remus couldn't help but laugh softly as he rounded the table to help Sirius up. "C'mon, love, let's get you to bed."

Both of them froze at what Remus had said. The nickname came so naturally, he hadn't even put any thought into what he was saying. Remus realized with a start just how close they were standing, with the way he had an arm around Sirius and his other hand clasping Sirius' as he been trying to lead him to the bedroom. He immediately dropped his arms, taking a step back.

"Shit, sorry."

Sirius just shook his head, turning to face Remus, "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so dramatic. I just- I haven't heard that in so long."

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or something, I wasn't trying to start anything. I know it's been a decade and we're not who we used to be."

Sirius' silvery eyes bore into Remus and then he was stepping closer and grabbing his hands. "You couldn't make me uncomfortable if you tried. I missed it, honestly."

"I missed you," Remus whispered, leaning down to place his forehead against Sirius'. Sirius just let out a soft sigh before leaning up to wrap his arms around Remus' neck, wrists crossed.

Remus realized the music was still playing, and as if it could sense the mood, a slow song was playing. Biting back a smile, he dropped his arms to Sirius' waist and began rocking them back and forth. Sirius happily complied and though neither of them said a word, the silence was comforting.

When the song ended, they pulled away with light blushes. As if he suddenly remembered the reason they had originally stood up, Sirius turned towards his bedroom.

"I should sleep," he mumbled, hooking a thumb towards the closed door.

Remus nodded and was about to turn for his own room before changing his mind. He strode towards Sirius instead, leaning down to press a soft kiss against his cheek. Sirius was just staring up at him wide-eyed and Remus reveled in the fact that he still had an effect on him.

"Goodnight, I'll see you in the morning," Remus murmured and finally left to his room.

He faintly heard Sirius whisper a goodnight, his voice high and airy. Maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to find a new normal.

[space-------kid]

hi there!! I really love your genya fics they make my heart feel so full 😭 i was just wondering if you could write kimetsu academy genya w the reader going supporting his shooting competitions + dragging sanemi along to prove that genya has incredible skill 💗 tysmm

Thank you so much!!! 😭💕💕💕

I’m sorry this took a while (this request is so cute OMG OMG OMG), but I hope you enjoy this! 💕💕💕 

Also, thanks to everyone who submitted a request! I hope I managed to put a smile on your faces with my writing! Thank you so much!  💕💕💕💕 💕 💕💕

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭, 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝒮𝒽𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓏𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓌𝒶 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

               “The shooting competition’s gonna be next week, isn’t it?”

               Genya tears his gaze off the target to look at [Name]. She sits on the audience stands, elbows resting on her knees and her palms cupping her chin. The way she glows with admiration while she watches him during morning practice sends Genya’s heart aflutter, and he’s filled with the need to impress her even more. Shyly, he gives her a confirmatory nod and turns to face the target again.

               “Yeah,” he tells her as he lines up another shot. He pulls the trigger and the crack of the gunshot reverberates in the training area. He hears [Name]’s delighted gasp, clapping her hands while Genya smiles with pride upon seeing that he hits the bull’s eye a third time.

               “I’ll make another banner and little flags for you, then!” [Name] exclaims, hopping off the bench and making her way to him. She picks up his towel and offers to wipe the sweat off Genya’s forehead with another of her lovely, bright smiles. He leans down so she can reach his face.

               “You really shouldn’t bother, you know…” he tells her quietly, face red from the proximity and how gently she dabs at his forehead with the towel. “And besides, nii-chan won’t even come to watch like the usual… Remember what happened last time when the school gave me an award?”

               [Name]’s expression falls at the memory. Genya has been so shaken that day, humiliation and pain fighting for dominance on his face when Shinazugawa-sensei ripped the certificate and told the former that he ought to focus on his studies – especially Maths – instead.

               It hurt her, how Shinazugawa-sensei doesn’t even seem to care about his own brother. She remembers how full of confidence Genya has been during practices and the competition itself, and how he even forgot his shyness when he gave her a hug after being crowned the champion for all three clay shooting categories. He isn’t the type to brag, but [Name] recalls how Genya – lavender eyes shining with pride – wondered how proud Sanemi-san might be of his achievements.

               It all crumbles during that day Kimetsu Academy organized an event to award certain students for their achievements in different competitions.

               Genya’s sympathizers may have increased and showed their support openly since that day, but [Name] knows that only Shinazugawa-sensei’s matters the most to him.

               “Don’t worry, Genya-kun,” she consoles him with a reassuring smile, a plan already hatching in her mind. “I’m sure your nii-chan will come around.”

--

               “Oi, [Surname].”

               “Yes, Shinazugawa-sensei?”

               The white-haired Maths teacher gives [Name] an appraising look as she stands by the doorway of the staff room, hands folded in front of her and her [colour] eyes gleaming with a mixture of worry and curiosity at being summoned. She hopes she hasn’t done anything to earn his ire – not when she’s working hard with her plans to convince the older Shinazugawa brother to come to Genya’s shooting competition next week.

               “You’re the Public Speech Club’s ace, aren’t you?” Shinazugawa-sensei asks her, folding his arms over his chest while he leans against the doorway.

               “Um, y-yes…?” [Name] replies hesitantly, still unused to the sudden attention she’s been showered with lately. She has been one of the students who are awarded alongside Genya by the school upon snagging the gold medal Kimetsu Academy’s Public Speech Club has long coveted in the interschool public speaking competitions. Rengoku-sensei is assigned to oversee the club’s participation in competitions, and she wonders why Shinazugawa-sensei summoned her for it.

               “Rengoku’s on a sick leave and he asked me to take over your practices until he returns,” Shinazugawa-sensei tells her, frowning at her diffident response. “I want you to transcribe and give me a hard copy of your speech in your previous competition.”

               “Yes, sensei!” [Name] replies, inwardly thankful that Genya has taken a video of her performance when he came to watch and support her like she does with him. She will just have to ask him to send her a copy of the video.

               Speaking of Genya—

               “Um, Shinazugawa-sensei?”

               “Yeah?”

               [Name] fidgets, looking down in embarrassment to avoid her teacher’s piercing gaze. Genya has told her that his nii-chan already knows about their mutual feelings for each other, and despite not being an official couple yet, she suddenly feels shy about asking Shinazugawa-sensei to come and watch Genya’s competition in the upcoming week.

               “Spit it out already, [Surname],” the Maths teacher tells her but not – surprisingly – unkindly. [Name] meets his gaze and sees the impassivity on the usually ticked off older Shinazugawa brother.

               “I-I…!” she blurts out, now standing at attention. Her cheeks turn red at the amused look her future older brother teacher is giving her.

               (Out of all his students, Shinazugawa-sensei seems to be tolerant and kind enough towards [Name]. No one knows that the reason for this is that he sees how supportive, kind, and patient she is towards his brother – but of course he won’t tell anyone that.)

               “Sensei, Genya’s shooting competition will be held Thursday next week,” [Name] says, her expression seeming to say it’s now or never. “Do you want to come and watch–“

               Shinazugawa-sensei rolls his eyes at her and turns away dismissively. “You should be worrying about your own upcoming competition, brat. You’re dismissed.”

               “But sensei–!”

               He looks at her, eyes narrowed with an expression she can’t name. “Drop it, [Surname]. And tell that moron to quit already. He barely even passed last time’s quiz.”

               Worry fills [Name]’s entire being. It’s her first time asking, and she’s already been shot down! What will she tell Genya?

               She turns around and leaves, hands clenched at her sides. [Name] can’t believe herself – why does she think that way? The first is not the only opportunity given to her to ask. There’s still a second, a third! If she wants to see Genya happy and for Shinazugawa-sensei to witness how skilled the former is, then why is she being disheartened at being shot down?

               Heart set with fiery determination, she turns to the direction of the staff room and pumped her fists. “Telling me to drop it won’t do, Shinazugawa-sensei! I’ll ask you a hundred – no, a thousand times if I have to! I’ll do anything to prove to you that Genya is outstanding at what he does! Just you wait–“

               “No shouting in the hallways,” comes a cold voice from behind [Name], her face turning pale at the sight of the Chemistry teacher glaring at her.

               “I’m sorry, Iguro-sensei!” she yells and bows at him, sprinting off out of sight.

--

               The week-long saga of convincing Sanemi to attend Genya’s shooting competition ends with a shouting match between [Name] and the teacher during one of her practices for the public speaking competition. The topic given to her is familial bonds, and [Name] seamlessly and shamelessly slides in Genya – though anonymously – every three sentences, sometimes subtly or even openly telling her teacher to show his younger brother support by watching the competition.

               Monday comes, and the practice devolves yet again into another heated argument between teacher and student.

               “I told you to drop it already, didn’t I?” Sanemi bellows at her, finally losing the patience he reserves for her.

               “I don’t want to!” [Name] yells back, face flushed with frustration. She is alone in one of the classrooms with the teacher – she wouldn’t be yelling at him like what she is doing now if they weren’t. “And why are you being so difficult about it, sensei? Would it kill you to watch even just one event? Why are you being so stubborn?”

               “You’re the one to talk! I don’t give a shit about Genya’s fucking obsession with guns and joining shooting competitions!” the older Shinazugawa brother rages on. “Not when he’s close to failing my subject because he’s stupid!”

               “Don’t say that you don’t give a shit, sensei! And don’t call him stupid – not when he’s trying so hard to be good at something he isn’t!”

               Sanemi stops from spewing another heated comment when [Name] begins rubbing an arm over her eyes to stop the aggravated tears from flowing down her cheeks. His arms drop uselessly to his sides, suddenly feeling so clueless at the sight of the crying girl in front of him. Genya has good friends, that much he knows (he still hasn’t forgiven that Kamado boy from frowning disapprovingly at him when he rudely commented on Genya’s quiz results). He knows as well that something is up between his younger brother and [Name], but to actually see her crying in Genya’s defence lifts the heavy fog of neglect in the teacher’s heart.

               “You’re always telling Genya-kun to quit, and you look like you don’t even care when he looks hurt by your words! Why do you keep doing that to him? B-Because… Because he’s bad at the subject you’re teaching? Because he’s not as good as Maths as you? Sensei–“

               Sanemi knows what his constant discouragement is doing to Genya. As much as his heart clenches at the look of hurt on his little brother’s face, the older between the two has to do it for Genya’s sake. He’s doing it because he truly believes that the reason why Genya keeps on nearly flunking the subject is because the latter focuses his attention too much to his club activities. Sanemi is harsh because he genuinely wants for Genya to focus on his studies so he graduates with good grades. With good grades, Sanemi knows that the big universities in the city would send invites for his brother to enroll – and soon enough Genya’s future would be as bright as Sanemi has always dreamed of it to be. But to hear from [Name] herself that his little brother is trying hard to be good at Maths despite not being gifted like Sanemi…

               He knows that [Name] is always at the shooting range with Genya during the latter’s morning practices. He even sees the two hanging out with Genya’s friends in the library, the group patiently helping each other with subjects they find difficult.

               Sanemi smiles and softly places a hand on top of [Name]’s head, prompting her to stop crying.

               “You’re a good kid, you know that, [Name]?” he quietly tells her, gently stroking her [colour] hair. “Now I know why Genya’s so smitten with you.”

               The red on her face deepens, and [Name] hides it with her hands with an embarrassed squeal.

               “Sensei!”

--

               The day of the shooting competition finally comes, and Genya’s heart sinks when he doesn’t see [Name] among the audience.

               He knows that she also has an upcoming competition, and he’s even surprised to learn from her that his nii-chan becomes her temporary coach in the absence of Rengoku-sensei. Anxiety slowly creeps in his chest, dread weighing him down where he stands.

               What if… what if nii-chan has stopped her from coming to watch and made her practice today instead?

               A purple banner saying “KIMETSU ACADEMY’S UNBEATABLE ACE! GO GENYA!” pops out from the stands and Genya’s doubt leaves him as soon as they came when he spots his friends (aptly named the Kamaboko Squad because of Inosuke’s penchant of getting people’s names wrong) waving at him in support. Aside from the banner, they wield flaglets depicting his shotgun and his name. Smiling, he lifts a hand to wave at them but freezes when Inosuke puts the banner down to reveal–

               “N-No way…” Genya mutters in utter disbelief, eyes widening and filling with tears.

               Sitting side by side are [Name] and Sanemi, the former holding onto the latter’s arm and excitedly pointing to where Genya is. A huge smile splits [Name]’s face as she waves cheerfully at him. Sanemi, on the other hand, looks like he’s trying not to look too annoyed or bored with the proceedings. He faintly hears her shouts amidst the crowd’s din, his heart leaping up in his throat at her words.

               “GENYA-KUUUN! LOOK WHO I MANAGED TO DRAG HEEEEEERE! YOU BETTER SHOW SENSEI YOUR TOP-NOTCH SHOOTING SKIIIIIIILLS!”

               Genya is reduced to an embarrassed, blushing mess as he follows the other competitors in the first shooting location for the first event, all the while thinking of ways on how to express his gratitude to [Name] for managing to do the unthinkable.

--

               Skeet shooting, the last of the three clay shooting categories, comes to an end with Genya remaining at the top of the leaderboard.

               To say that Sanemi is astounded by his little brother’s shooting skills is an understatement.

               Judging from the categories of the shooting competition, Sanemi is quick to deduce that a competitor is required to have quick reflexes and flash judgement, not to mention a sharp eye, accuracy, and precision. The way his little brother handled all three categories with ease proves that Genya possesses such skills, and maybe even more.

               Despite his distance from the audience stands, Sanemi can perfectly see Genya’s posture and the way he holds himself. When holding a shotgun, Genya seems to transform into an entirely different person. He is so steady, not even a hint of trembling nor exhaustion evident regardless of how long he has been holding the shotgun up and constantly aiming at a clay target flying at approximately 30 seconds per meter. While there have been contestants who merely grazed their targets, the ones Genya shoots always end up shattering mid-air.

               His little brother doesn’t half-ass these competitions, doesn’t he?

               In his mind’s eye, Sanemi can clearly see Genya raking gold medals and trophies for Japan in international competitions.

               He trails behind Genya’s friends when they swarm his little brother right after the awarding ceremony. As expected, the younger Shinazugawa brother is sporting gold medals for each event. Sanemi blinks and looks down at [Name] when she tugs at his sleeve, her face glowing with pride as she gazes up at him.

               “Well, sensei?” she asks him, and Sanemi fights the urge to roll his eyes at the smugness in her voice. He settles for poking her cheek and shooting her a proud grin.

               “N-Nii-chan…?”

               The two look at Genya with varying degrees of pride on their faces. Sanemi places a hand on his brother’s shoulder, now openly showing the latter his brotherly love and support.

               “Well done, Genya,” he simply tells the younger Shinazugawa before resuming his task of poking [Name]’s cheek. “And tell this idiot that she can call me nii-chan outside of school from now on.”

               The (still not official!) couple’s faces explode into a brilliant shade of red at the blatant implication of Sanemi’s words.

               “NII-CHAN!”

               “SENSEI!”

.

.

.

.

[kuronekonerochan]

Random rant about Court Lady (ps: if you like the drama just don’t read it pls, or if you do, don’t @ me)

Disclaimer: I personally hate this drama and I almost never post about dramas negatively, just for the ones I like and ignore the ones I dislike. This one annoys me and I am aware that my criticism is probably only partially objectively valid and also partially nitpicks that irked me but are not “wrong” per se.

Also,just bc I don’t like it, if others like it, I have nothing to say about it except that liking it is as valid as my opinion and If you’re enjoying it, I’m glad and in no way judging bc in the end it’s just fiction and to each its own :)

I started watching this and dropped it at about ep8 bc I didn’t really enjoy it, despite the fact that I did find the production and technical aspects of the drama good and a bit different from the usual (including costume choices, etc). I even liked some of the characters like the Lu Daughter, the Pirate and the Princess (the one who hooks up with the ml’s brother). Mostly I liked Xu Kai, even as a bratty dude. Still, not enough stuff to keep my interest. After that I saw a random ep and realized the leads barely show up (and not even together) and that the screentime was dedicated to way too many  secondary characters, none of them the least interesting or likable.

But then I got bored and watched the latest eps of court lady,and tho pirate, princess and enemy daughter all show up, it's still boring and although it has  tons of characters, 99% of them are entitled psychopaths, and not even interesting psycho types at that, or masterminds that are enjoyable to watch. Nope they are all just annoying bullies and horrible ppl, men and women alike and what enjoyment can I get from this drama where the leads are almost never on scene together, there is a million subplots and characters yet almost no characters are likable and worth rooting for?

(Also, on nitpicking stuff, even tho they are probably historically accurate, I  ended up really disliking those stupid male hats and that terrible female wig style updo that looks terrible on almost every actress, while also making most of them impossible to tell apart. Besides, I changed my mind about the costume design...it ended up being a mess (not bc I don't like it personally) but bc you have scholars, penniless retired pirates, nobleman and royalty all wearing the exact same type of clothes with no difference in fabric, or embellishments or accessories to tell apart their hierarchic rank. Truly, one of the royals was addressed as your majesty and I'm like "dude, your clothes seem cheaper than the extras and servants around you".)

I ended up watching one of the latest ep where the leads finally have decent screentime...and omg it's not only the 1000 side characters who are unlikable, the leads are awful too...why would anyone do a drama with just terrible people? I kind of wish them all the equivalent of period White truck of Doom ending (maybe a collective corpse bridge like 2ha or TGCF?).

And for final exit rant on the latest eps:

Idk what I was thinking checking this drama out  again...seriously all the chars in this are either plain bullies, or that plus rapists (both genders, really...dudes all try to force themselves on the women and all the women take advantage of the men being drunk/poisoned, etc to sleep with them without them being able to give conscientious consent)...this might be the worse char ensemble drama I've ever seen. not a single relatable/likable char on sight, and they give us a million of them too.

 This is truly bizarre... this type of behavior dramas usually give to their villains, so you know, of those actions they're showing are morally bad. In this one all the characters are bad doing shitty things but the drama itself is so blase about it it kind of treats all of this stuff as normal and okay?! 

It's not as if I'm usually an sjw on fiction...I enjoy my bastard characters, but the whole vibe of this drama is...off, like completely disconnected from regular human behavior, as if they all got their moral compass set to fucking awful, so fucking awful became the new normal. It's very weird bc it's almost as they don't care if there isn't anyone worth rooting for.

 And it's not just the actions of the characters...on some (much better) dramas/novels, the "heroes" are also just as morally grey as the villains and the only reason we root for them is because we're on their side (e.g. Joy of Life, Qi Ye, WoH, The Advisers’ Alliance, Ever Night S1), but usually on those dramas the characters have their own personal reasons for "ends justify the means" and from their perspective, whether doing bad or good stuff they don't think of themselves as villains, and likewise the “true” villains in those dramas also have their own narrative and reasoning which makes them somewhat relatable even if we disagree or hate them. In this ppl act shitty, fully aware that they are shitty and without remorse, for very weak reasons and honestly most of those actions are more bc they can than to serve a purpose. They are all amoral idiots. I'm weirdly fascinated by this drama's mindset.

Basically they are all that dude friend from To Rule in a Turbulent World on the first chapter beating Sanado to death just bc, but instead of giving him a context and character depth showing different sides to him (and I ended up really liking that character), the ppl in this drama just have their characters doing that shit again and again and never try to give any sort of dimension to them.

I am the Ryan Reynolds "but...why?" meme watching this.

PS: I am very aware of how repetitive and unfocused and messy this rant is, but this is a compilation of my watching experience at various stages blended into this one post and honestly this drama does not deserve me wasting my time to make this text any more cohesive, so rambly barely comprehensive mess it is.

[yakocchi]

(I’m the only one who knows Akihiko in this way...)

first i was like ...well i have 100+ tickets saved from that reading promotion so i was like might as well do the sebas route bc i’ve done everyone else’s but now i feel compelled to try rly hard on the election 😔 but the kiss avatars aren’t as cute as the hug ones from last year imo

i did one run on the first day in a hurry to get them all spent before the story fever was done (before i realized all the story fevers will be x3 whoops) so looking back through that rush... this route is not so bad esp. versus the others on the second half (dazai and count) 

further rambling behind the cut bc woops i realized i started typing a whole lot omg tried to keep the spoilers (for sebas’ route) as pretty vague but in terms of spoilers for dazai, count, etc. it’s all over

sorry if you don’t like reading run-on sentence hell, but that’s how my stream of consciousness works orz

but i couldn’t help feel like this route was kind of trying its best in getting the reader interested in faust. isn’t as bad as it was in dazai’s route where i feel like some ppl end up just sitting there going “i’d much rather be with charles wtf” lul to me it was like they’re trying to invest some interest in him but are delicate in trying to make him not seem too irrational in his motivations and antagonistic or else they get into a Will situation in which nobody likes him... and then when the route finally comes out ppl are too mad to change their mind lol.

i just feel kinda bothered with the second half routes bc at times they feel like parts of them only serve to introduce the new characters. which is fine, but like... it takes time away from the actual love interest and it’s like “beh this didn’t happen with a good bit of the other characters” u know. i actually think sebas’ route is the best in finding that balance. i mean with the count it’s justifiable that vlad consumes a lot of “space” bc he is a convenient vehicle (a childhood friend) to further understanding why the count is the way he is. charles essentially appears out of nowhere and takes a pretty active role as a rival, which is new for a ikevam route... but as mentioned before has the unfortunate effect of readers perhaps siding with charles instead of dazai. whoops

well thinking about it there’s probably people who read the count’s route and went “well i think vlad might have an actual case here” in terms of the terrible future he foresaw or w/e .......but the writers probably caught on to that and that’s why they threw in the part where he throws the mc through the door where she could’ve died a terrible death. WELL people still choose to stan. somehow. I MEAN with charles he essentially tried to “axe” dazai by trying to “help” him so mc will be all alone for charles to love or w/e but at least that wasn’t violence. honestly i thought charles was going to go apeshit given how the route took a good chunk having charles toil about his past as a killer (as he was an executioner) and how he’s worried that mc will judge and dislike him if she ever finds out about that

ok well with faust and sebas, faust takes up more of a “devil in plain sight” role where you know he’s gonna do something sketchy as shit and either sebas and mc will fall for it. and it’s sebas who really falls for it first but it was for loooooove man. it was very dramatic (given how sebas has that dumb cliched backstory but i like that dumb cliche) but i mean the man’s gotta have a plot somewhere

i’m surprised that vlad doesn’t actually have a proactive role in this route, granted that his route is the very next one in the schedule. i guess writers knew people would be interested in him regardless so they essentially left him out. which is good, more time for faust. 

but what really put surprised me is that they threw in another leo and count gay dads moment like the older routes have where the two of them are used to keep the plot moving so the main charas can go ichaicha try to take care of shit in the bg. i thought this one for this route was esp...... a choice. it makes me realize that their bond is something that’s really beyond a simple friendship? probably bc they’re both old purebloods, but even with that... the very few times the readers get to see the friendship between vlad and the count imo it’s always... strange. like i can’t really tell that they’re that close of friends? like yea clearly they were close somehow given that they built the magicke door together but still, it always gave me the “crazy friend but you stick with him bc he’s known you forever” vibe. 

like that scene (in the sebas route) where the count finally comes back and leo is the first and only one to greet him at that time... it was very heartwarming in that “old bros” way. you can tell that they really have each other’s back, like that time in the count’s route where the count embarks on vlad’s castle and leo is like “(i’m not going to stop you but) if you don’t come back by dawn... i’m going to go get you. because i, too, cannot die” whew powerful. it’s a nice contrast from when the count was very down after an event in the past and vlad doesn’t really comfort him and actually is more like “you’re weak because of things like this” (not the actual quote but it’s the same gist) lol. like i know why he didn’t support him emotionally because at that point the count was totally not down for vlad’s plans but yeesh

another vague thing from the route... i like how while the count is unavailable, leo more or less takes the helm as the caretaker of the mansion residents. like it’s only a minor part in the grand scheme of things in the route but it’s clear that leo does have great compassion in his heart. in the dazai route too, he’s like the only chara that tries to set dazai straight (albeit for a single scene). 

ok thats all i really wanted to say before this becomes some dumb leo woaw we love him essay thanks for reading this garbage lol

[axther]

[1/3]Hi! i'd like a BNHA matchup? I'm a INFJ-T, female, virgo. I'm 5'11 and very insecure about my height, because of that I'm very awkward around people even people I'm comfortable with. I'm very shy and reserved, frankly judgmental with people I don't know. it’s something I'm trying to work on. those who I feel are trusting enough or even really worth of me as a friend, I cherish completely. I'd do anything to protect the people I care about.

BJFSABFNJAS I COULDN’T DECIDE SO YOU GET FOUR INSTEAD OF THREE 

#1 is...Todoroki!

Oh my GOD

Y’all judge each other, on the spot 

It wasn’t even intentional, of course

But you see him and it’s an immediate ‘oh god an emotionally constipated rich boy’ 

And he sees you and thinks that you just straight-up hate everyone 

So y’all don’t talk. 

At all. 

There’s a strange tension between you two 

It’s not hate, but you two aren’t friends 

Until the sports festival 

And he becomes more social 

It makes him become more aware 

He thinks about how he had prejudices about people

So rather than dance around it 

He just walks up to you and asks if you hate him

You panic!! Naturally!!

And you clear it up, fast 

He’s relieved, of course

But now he feels bad, and you feel bad 

So he starts sticking to you

You guys haven’t talked much, but he still hangs around you 

It’s a weird symbiotic relationship

Your friends become his friends 

And little by little, he starts realising that you’re really pretty when you’re open 

And he’s not talking the sort of pretty that makes heads turn

But it’s a soft comfort

You fret over everyone in your friend circle and it makes his heart flutter, just a bit 

And you’re so tall!! 

In my humble opinion, todo would absolutely DIE of joy if his s/o was tall 

(actually, i think all the lads n gals would die of joy but eye-) 

Not only do most of the fangirls not fuck wit you!! 

But big spoon big spoon big spoon!!!

Take some of the responsibility to protect everyone off his shoulders

Because as soon as y’all are on the bed, your arms wrapped around him, 

He’s out like a light 

The boy even dreams about you omg 

You wake up in the middle of the night to hear him murmuring something about your hair 

And then turns and nuzzles into that shit and oh my god 

soft.jpg

#2 is...Josuke! 

Now listen

Josuke’s the same height as you 

And considering that the average Japanese woman’s height is 5’2

As SOON as he sees you, he’s that one gif from parks and rec where they zoom in on Chris pratt

He’s THRILLED 

Like he can and will stop you in the street and strike up a conversation 

Because holy shit!! This Jupiter of a woman can look him in the eye!! 

When I say it’s love at first sight I mean it’s on sight 

He sees you and he’s enraptured 

And as soon as he realises you’re so sweet, albeit a bit closed off

He makes it his personal goal to be close friends with you, if not more 

Can and will flaunt you around 

There are several repercussions 

One, Okuyasu is jealous as fuck because his type is motherly and soft 

Two, Koichi is even more dwarfed 

Three, Jotaro is surprised but pleasantly so! 

Let’s talk about one of my favourite aspects of dating a JJBA Part 3 and forward character

Stands 

And here we’re going to assume you have a stand (something i feel that would be kinda omnipotent and not physical, like having a third eye that can see into the future or smth) 

Crazy Diamond: Crazy 

Like CD will hang around you as soon as you’re in range 

Somehow, CD will find a load of little gifts, even if they’re a bit unconventional 

What’re you going to do with a tonne of shiny rocks?? 

I don’t know but it will break CD’s heart if you throw them out 

(guess it’s time for a rock collection) 

It comes to a point that if you and Josuke have an argument, Josuke’ll be stubborn 

But CD will wail and cling to you like glue 

It’s certainly nice because CD shows how Josuke’s feeling

So arguments and unspoken problems are resolved a lot faster

Josuke’s not embarrassed by CD’s clinginess!! 

He’s like ‘fuck yeah my gf knows just how much I love her!!!’

#3 (tied with #4) is…Jotaro (Pt 3)! 

Tsundere boye 

Will refuse for FOREVER to tell anyone he has a crush

But you make him super soft 

You aren’t fangirl-y so it’s certainly a breath of fresh air for him 

You’re calm and quiet and not too short 

(remember he’s like 6’2 so you don’t have to worry about being too tall!!!) 

He won’t admit it until you’re actually in a relationship, but he’s super confused about why you’re insecure about your tallness. 

He thinks it’s incredible 

You were literally born to run faster, fight better, be stronger 

It’s the same way with him, so it does make him sort of wonder if his height is bad 

He gets over it relatively quickly 

As much as he’s big and mean, he’s also VERY VERY SOFT.

Smiling gently when you’re not looking? Being super proud of your work? 

Soft kisses on the shoulder and watching you sleep next to him once he confesses? 

Yes’m!! 

Once camera phones come out you bet your ass that the only pictures on his phone are candids of you 

He loves you so, so much 

While he feels that he’s a bit unwieldy in the romance department, he’s always there for you!! 

And it absolutely makes his heart swell with love if you tell him how much you love him and what you adore about him 

And don’t get me started on Star Platinum 

S-Plat adores you on a whole ‘nother level 

Rather than rocks like Josuke, S-Plat will give you actual stuff like magazines and drinks

You so much as glance for half a second too long at a set of paintbrushes, or a trinket?? 

S-Plat is there with it in hand, and Joot’s got his hat tilted down with a furious blush 

S-Plat loves hugging you!!! 

He’s a cuddle monster, even though Jotaro won’t act like it for a long, long time 

He will hang off your shoulders and refuse to disappear unless you tell him to, something that bothers Jotaro a lot, actually 

Does that mean you’re okay if he did it? Are Stands technically sentient, but just obey out of obligation? 

S-Plat’s super protective of you, too

While Jotaro is scared shitless something will happen to you, he respects your space and lets you do your own thing 

But oh lord

If there’s a Stand attack and you get hurt, S-Plat can and will go apeshit. 

I mean this in the most literal sense possible 

Everyone will be howling for S-Plat not to kill the Stand user, not to hurt him anymore 

But Jotaro glances at you out of the corner of his eye and sees your limp body 

There’s a furious, cold steel gleam in his eye

He’s purely emotionless

But Star Platinum is screaming, sobbing, torn between taking care of you and ripping the Stand user to shreds. 

Everyone can see that it’s impacting Jotaro on an incredibly deep level

And that’s probably how most of the Stardust Crusaders found out, honestly 

Because when someone is ready to kill for you (and almost does), doesn’t that say more than enough? 

#4 (Tied with #3) is...Jonathan! 

a GENTLEMAN 

This king would treat you so well 

Folks call him a simp but they’re fools 

He would treat you so gently 

It’s almost like he thinks you’re delicate

Of course, you’re not, but it’s an incredibly cushy lifestyle 

Being pampered by your rich boyfriend who wouldn’t so much as glance at any other girls if you even vaguely mentioned it??? 

Yes’m!!!

You paint him something?? 

The next time you visit, it will be front and centre by the staircase 

You write something for him? 

He has it in his pocket, constantly, and reads it when he needs a breather. 

He adores you endlessly and wants to marry you, 100%

He’s here for the long run!! 

After the first fight with Dio, he’s stressing to you how much he just wants to live well with you 

(personally, i write within the Eyes Of Heaven AU, and Jonathan lives, goddamnit) 

After the second and third fights, he drops as much of the fighting life as he can 

The last thing he wants is to die on you and leave you a widow 

You tease him on how big-hearted he is at times, but takes it all with an open mind 

He thinks that when you get upset, it’s adorable 

You’re much shorter than him, so he just wraps you up in a big ‘ol hug 

But if you’re angry at him, he won’t 

He feels like it invalidates your anger, and the last thing he wants is to make you feel bad 

The kind of arguments you guys would have would be like ‘You got me the best present!’ v ‘No, you got me the best present!!’ 

Seriously

The amount of softness...its tangible 

[hakuoki-dreams]

Hello, how are you? I think your blog is amazing and the dedication you put in each ask is lovely. Could I ask baka trio headcanons when their crush flirt with them in joke? I hope you've a nice day!

Oh wow thank you!! I’m great, how are you anon? This prompt is so adorable omg 😭 I’m getting back into writing fics after a long hiatus and honestly having requests to answer is very helpful because I need a lot of practice writing the Hakuouki crew. So thank you for sending this!

With these I’m assuming it’s a reciprocated crush, or that there’s at least some level of interest on both sides. (These also turned into another set of f/m headcanons–I’ll try to keep things more inclusive in the future!) Get ready for a text wall let’s gooooo

Shinpachi

You would totally knock him off his game!

Shin is definitely no stranger to women thanks to the red-light district. In front of you he always insists that he just goes to have a few drinks and let off some steam after a long day, but he’s also spent a good amount of time flirting with and being flirted at by geisha and oiran. It’s the sort of female attention he’s comfortable with, because there’s this mutual understanding on both sides that it’s all a pleasant business interaction.

But you’re a different story. Flirting coming from you just feels…weird. You’re his friend.

Well…

If he’s honest with himself, he’s started having some feelings for you that go deeper than friendship. But that’s not a reality he’s not remotely ready to confront, because he’s not sure you feel the same way about him.

Because shit, what if you’re not even trying to flirt with him at all? As far as he knows you haven’t had a really serious relationship before. Maybe you don’t realize what you’re doing. Maybe you don’t know how a guy takes it when a girl teases him for showing off his (albeit very nice) muscles, or accidentally brushes arms with him too often, or laughs at even his dumbest jokes. Maybe it’s all just your way of kidding around with a guy you only see as a friend. It sends his mind traveling around in circles. Shin has trouble thinking straight with you.

In the beginning it all started as good fun between two friends. From day one Shinpachi was someone you just felt comfortable around. He was honest, he spoke his mind, and he didn’t really have a filter with you. It was refreshing; the other men seemed to watch what they said around you a bit because you were a girl. Not Shin.

This did cause some awkward moments at first. You’d notice him double-taking at a pretty face walking past, then he’d realize you caught him and feel compelled to apologize to you for some reason, and you couldn’t help laughing at the sheepish way he scrubbed at his hair when he got embarrassed.

After a couple repetitions of this he finally started loosening up–it even became a type of I-Spy game you’d play together during walks through the city.

‘Ooh…cute maiko coming up on the right…’ You tip him off. Watching the sly way he glanced the girl over was like witnessing a master practice his finest craft. He shrugged a shoulder. ‘Eh, bit thin.’

The first time you responded in kind about a handsome young samurai, you’d think you shattered his entire world to pieces. ‘What? What’s with the face? Girls notice too, you know.’

He’s still staring at the man warily, as if he was a sudden threat. ‘I guess.’

‘Though he is a bit thin…’ You repeat his words without thinking. For a second you both catch each other’s eye, then break away in awkward laughter, the mood between you suddenly shy.

Day by day something shifts in the way he acts around you. Where at first he had no qualms giving back a brash retort when you teased him about his taste in women, now he seems especially chagrined by it. There’s something so gratifying about seeing him ruffle at your playful prodding, this big lug of a guy who used to share all kinds of details about his preferences for everything from women’s hair color to their shoe size.

It’s a little bit…no, it’s very adorable. You find yourself drawn to him more and more because of those moments, and for some unknown reason it makes you want to find small excuses to touch him. You prod him with an elbow, or give him little knocks with your shoulder, trying to let him know that it’s all in good fun.

Eventually Shinpachi will reach a breaking point with you. He’ll realize his fear of misunderstanding your relationship has been eclipsed by the need to know just what the hell is going on between you two, and why you keep picking on him in a way he doesn’t feel equipped to deal with anymore.

‘Come on, Shin…you can tell me! Who’s your type, anyway? I know you how much you love Kyoto women, but there’s so many kinds to choose from. Is it short girls? Tall girls? Blonde girls? What type do you really–’

He wheels around on you. ‘You, okay?!’

You blink up at him, suddenly feeling very small faced with his broad frame. ‘…Me what?’

‘My type is someone like you, all right? It’s you. You’re my type.’

There’s a tinge of pink across his cheeks, but he’s looking down at you with a pure and serious determination that makes your insides feel very warm.

‘Oh…’

Sanosuke:

To be honest Sano never thought he could have a thing for such a spirited woman. He tends to go for the sweet type, so realizing he has feelings for a woman who acts so playful around him would be kind of a new experience.

The truth is he’s very direct and open about his emotions. If he’s crushing on you, you’re going to know, and he’s not going to feel an ounce of embarrassment about something so natural as caring for someone. The fact that you’re actually flirting back without hesitation will be unexpected, even if for you it’s a bit of a smokescreen. It flips the script on him.

Inside? He makes you very nervous. Maybe even terrified. He’s just so full of confidence all the time, about everything. He says and does things that knock the wind straight out of you–like telling you that you look pretty when you laugh, or reaching over to calmly brush a stray leaf out of your hair with that warm smile. You realize you can either melt into an incoherent puddle every time he’s around, or you can find a defense mechanism, fast.

So you start evading the intensity of his attention with humor. It’s supposed to lighten things up between you, maybe keep him at a bit of a distance, but it soon becomes clear your plan is rapidly backfiring on both of you.

When you deflect his serious attempts to get to know you better with a coy joke, instead of putting distance between you, it only seems to draw him closer. His tawny eyes linger on your face, seeking to read your true feelings there.

‘You sure you’re okay?’ He’s looking down at you with that expression of kind concern, you can hear it in his voice, but you know better than to meet his eye.

‘Oh of course, Captain Harada! You know me–’ You make a big production of shifting the stacks of papers in your arms, trying to distract from the loud thump of your heartbeat. What if he’s close enough to hear it too… ‘The chief’s busy applying for new headquarters, and I’m his right-hand girl, so I can’t take it easy can I? But how sweet of you to worry.’ You cast him your brightest, most impish smile, still not quite looking him in the eye.

‘Hmm.’ His response is thoroughly unconvinced. ‘I do worry. You can’t keep working so hard all the time, you know? You’re going to get sick if you overwork yourself.’ And before you can do anything to stop it, he’s placed his cool palm against the skin of your forehead.

‘Ah, thought so. You’re warm. Probably got a fever…your face is all pink.’

‘N-no!’ It comes out more of a yelp than you intended. ‘No, I’m sure it’s just the weather–Kyoto summers are much hotter than I’m used to–’ You manage to twist away from his contact. ‘Besides, you shouldn’t go around putting your hands all over a girl’s face. You’ll give her the wrong idea.’

He’s thoroughly amused by you. ‘Oh? Like what?’

‘Come on, you know what I mean…’ Somehow you manage a breezy laugh. And then you high-tail it away from him with a string of excuses about your work, feeling his gaze on your back all the way, clinging to your crumbling facade until you’re at least out of his sight.

His persistence only makes it harder to keep putting him off. You can’t help being attracted by everything you learn about him; from his kindness toward women and children, to his bravery as a captain, to the look on his face when he’s listening to you talk about your day. It makes a sharp ache rise in your chest. You’re starting to panic.

Because you’re not supposed to fall for this guy–he’s a soldier, a man who stakes his life every day on his honor and his duty to his chief and the shogunate. Falling for someone like him could be disastrous. You have to stay aloof. And whatever you do, he cannot know that you’re starting to fall for him in spite of yourself.

But Sano is Sano, and he’s rapidly figuring out what’s going on here. It’s a strange kind of summer weather indeed that only seems to affect your face when you’re near him…

Very gently at first, he starts to test the waters. In a way he can’t help being impressed with your dedication. Even in moments when he turns up the charm in an attempt to catch you off-guard, to levels that have won over many women in his past, you somehow manage to respond with your own slew of defenses. It becomes a kind of sparring match between you two; each one equally determined to emerge from the fray on top. He’s only more attracted to you because of it.

And you–you start to realize that you never stood a chance against him in the first place, not under the full weight of the Harada charisma. He’s rapidly disarming you.

‘Hey, did you hear what I said?’ His voice calls you out of your daze. With a jolt, you realize you’d been staring at his mouth as his words went in one ear and out the other.

‘Oh! I’m sorry, Harada. I think I must be…tired or something.’ Had he been standing this close to you the whole time? He’s so tall that you have to angle your head back to meet his eyes. Something in his face is very serious tonight; it makes you feel like you’re rooted to the floor in front of him.

He feels it, too. His body bends slightly in your direction. ‘Listen. There’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while…but I’d like to know it’s something you want, too.’

Oh? Oh. Oh no. A string of disconnected retorts pass through your brain, none of them gaining traction. You can feel the warmth from his body as he leans dangerously closer.

There’s a pause, like a question hanging between you both. His eyes are soft as they read your expression. Unbidden, you feel your chin tip upward toward him. He meets you in the middle…and then his lips are on yours and his arms draw you in to press against his chest and you find your hands seeking his shoulders.

It all only lasts for a moment. He’s first to break away, and you could swear now that his eyes are laughing at you. ‘No comeback?’

‘Give me a minute.’ You’re already rising on tip-toe, ready to wipe away that smile. ‘I’ll think of something…’

Heisuke:

You are laughing at him and honestly he is offended!

Not really, truly offended. You two have been friends since day one, because after all, this is Heisuke we’re talking about. The guy could make friends with a houseplant.

He’s offended in the way he gets pissed at Nagakura and Harada for their good-natured teasing–lots of ‘hey, quit!’s and rambunctious play-fighting–only now it’s with you, this young woman his age who still teases and openly pokes fun at him. He’s never met a girl like you before. He doesn’t know how he’s allowed to respond. It’s alarming, quite frankly.

For a long time he’s torn back and forth between annoyance and attraction toward you. You do little things that get under his skin, especially ragging on him about his size. Heisuke’s taller than you, but not by much; a fact that you’ve innocently brought to his attention more than once. He reminds you at one point that he could still beat you up with both hands behind his back, a remark that’s unfortunately overheard by Nagakura and earns him a slap to the back of the head for being such a ‘fucking idiot talking that way to a lady.’ You only laugh a little bit.

But it’s not always a catfight between you two. He almost wishes it was; that would make this all much easier to figure out. It only makes him more confused when your mood suddenly turns softer or sweeter toward him. There are moments when he catches you watching him at dinner, though you quickly look down when he catches your eye, your expression almost shy. You can be surprisingly easy to talk to, on the nights when it’s just the two of you sitting out on the porch in the breeze.

Heisuke finds himself looking forward to those moments with you, particularly after the memorable night when you dozed off against his shoulder. You’d grown very quiet beside him, when out of nowhere he felt a light pressure and looked down to find your head pressed on his arm, your lashes two dark crescents across your cheeks, breathing through slightly parted lips. He sat frozen still until long after the feeling left his legs.

Pretty soon Heisuke’s frustration about it all will boil over and he’ll need to pay a visit to Harada-Sensei for lady advice. Harada will listen in bemused silence as Heisuke rambles out his thoughts, pacing circles around the floor.

‘…and sometimes she’s just…she’s so cute, it’s stupid! How do I tell her that when she treats me like her brother? Maybe I should just give up, I don’t think she even sees me as a man sometimes. And she always knows just what to say to make me embarrassed! Damn it–’

‘Sit down,’ Harada will sigh, ‘You’ve got this all wrong…’

Dejected, Heisuke will slump down in a sad pile of boy and wait for Harada’s words of wisdom.

‘Didn’t you ever throw rocks at a girl when you were little, because you thought she was pretty and you didn’t know how to tell her? She’s doing the same thing to you, kid.’

‘What are you saying? You mean she…likes me? But you guys see how she always makes fun of me–plus she calls me short all the time and you said–!”

‘So what? She’s short too, dummy! How about that! Why don’t you stop whining and grow a pair and go get her if you like her so much?’

Heisuke will leave thoroughly chastised, but full of new energy at this startling idea that maybe…maybe he’s been a gigantic blind idiot this whole time…maybe all those moments he thought you were making fun of him, you were just as stiff and clueless as he felt inside. He finds you out in the courtyard, thankfully alone. Best if no one else is here to see this.

His expression catches you by surprise. ‘Heisuke, what’s wro–’ Two hands come down on both your shoulders, gripping you firmly in place. He’s stronger than he looks!

‘Look.’ His eyes are clear and determined. ‘I like you, okay? And I think you like me too, because you keep throwing rocks at me and stuff–’

‘Rocks? What are you–’ So much is happening at once; your chest is pounding.

‘Forget it, doesn’t matter now, just listen. I think I figured out why you give me so much crap and tease me all the time. You don’t have to say it out loud if you’re not ready, but I still want to tell you all the same. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met, and I think you’re cute even when you’re being annoying and trying to pick fights with me, and I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time actually. Oh!’ he remembers something. ‘And you’re really short.’

‘You–!’ Your protest is cut short by his lips on yours, an awkward and sudden kiss that somehow leaves you short of breath all the same. When he pulls away, he’s glowing with a pure happiness that you just don’t have the heart to resist. You melt closer into him. ‘I think…I think you’re cute too, Heisuke.’

His beaming face falls a bit. ‘You shouldn’t really call a guy cu–’

‘Oh shut up, I like you back, just kiss me again–’

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #221

“god is making fun of me; he’s up there laughing, i can see.”

What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? b l a c k Are you sexually active? No. Do you have sensitive skin? I guess? Are you egotistical? I have the self-esteem of like... a blobfish. Do you have an older sister? Multiple. Favorite song by Owl City? I like "Fireflies" and "Hot Air Balloon." What color is your mum’s car? White. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? In the hallway that connects the bathroom and kitchen. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? I AM MUCH MUCH LIGHTER. My dad is really dark-skinned from being a mailman for all my life. Always being outside does it. His arms especially are really really tan from sticking them out the window. Do you like apricots? Noooo. Do you like kinky sex? Never tried anything kinky before, so wouldn't know. What country were you born in? The U.S.A. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? LIQUID. Bar soap grosses me out, even though it's... yeah, soap. Like multiple people (if you live with others, anyway) are rubbing that on their body, no thanks. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a “disorder”? Neither; I believe it's a mutation. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhh jaybirds... cardinals... bald eagles... crows, ravens... vultures... peacocks... Victoria crowned pigeons... barn owls, horned owls, snowy owls... probably others. There's so many, I'm not musing over it forever. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? I don't live in a "neighborhood." But you see lots of crows in this area. If you don’t understand a reference in something, do you look it up? Sometimes. Depends on what it is, how interesting it is. Are you the kind of person to look at accident sites, when passing them by? Morbid curiosity gets the better of me here. Did you ever make dolls or hand puppets in primary/elementary school? Yeah. When you were little, what sorts of make belief did you play? Y'ALL I did the weirdest shit. I remember I loved mimicking A Bug's Life by taking a leaf and placing things like seeds and stuff on it, my little sister and I enjoyed "cooking" with plastic food and our oven set, we liked playing house with friends, OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HOW WE USED TO LOVE BEING MERMAIDS IN THE POOL, uhhh. Idr, there's other stuff for sure. I was really creative as a kid and loved playing make believe. Has a friend’s parent ever given you a present just because? I don't think "just because." What do you do with clothes you can’t wear anymore? We donate them, give them away to friends if they like something, or, when it comes to our favorite shirts, my mom has actually been working on creating a big blanket out of them since we were kids. I hope she finishes before her time's up. What is something you’re very particular about? How my food is prepared. What is your dearest stuffed animal that you own? Why is that? My moose Brownie from Cabela's in Ohio. I ALWAYS slept hugging him as a little kid and even teenager until Jason got me Rebel the meerkat. He's still on my dresser. Name something awesome from another culture that is not part of yours: Oh man, idk. When at a Chinese or Japanese restaurant, do you use chopsticks? I have pretty intense tremors. I could NEVER use chopsticks. What’s something you can’t wait for about growing old? Um, nothing? Nothing about being elderly seems fun. How do you expect your life to go like? How are you ensuring that? Ideally, it would be defined by contentment and success. I want to know financial peace, stability, and pride in what I've accomplished. I'm trying my damnedest to ensure this by going back to school, trying as hard as I can to push my photography, and work on my mental health. Or do you just wing it as you go? NO. I've always had plans and goals, and I act on the desire to achieve them. The only time I was truly "winging it" was during my suicidal depression phase after the breakup. I was literally too busy wanting to die but being too afraid to and so lost and hopeless that I didn't know what to do. What’s a yard game that you still enjoy playing as an adult? Hunny I don't go outside rip. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Portuguese man-o-war, probably. They don't have a fucking brain yet are alive????? And deadly as a mfer????? How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Sleep. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Well, shacks. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some anime. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend? I don't think I have a set "favorite" way. What’s your “Death Row Meal”? I mean, it'd depend on what I wanted at the time? Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home? I strongly prefer going to the theater. Don't really know why, though... I guess the setting, being in the dark and watching on a huge screen? When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not? Yeah. I've never minded crust. What activity instantly calms you? Car rides where I can blare my music. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? It'd depend on what I was up for that day. But definitely doing things with friends and family. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard? Idk. I don't really like traditional jokes. Be witty. What’s the career highlight you’re most proud of? Ha. Do you think you’ll stay at your current company awhile? Why or why not? N/A How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do? That's like the most depressing thought possible lmao. What do you remember most about your first job? The fact I can't do customer service. All I remember is the anxiety. Did you start working immediately after finishing school? Why or why not? No. I just wasn't ready. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I lasted two hours in a deli in a constant state of panic. Guess. What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made? Going back to school for a degree. What’s the worst career decision you’ve ever made? Trying the deli. How much time do you spend with your family? Like... none, almost ever. We all live in different places. Who do you most like spending time with and why? In my family? My mom, because we relate on a lot and just generally get along. Were you close with your family growing up? My immediate family, yes. How do you define your family now? Distant. What traits are most important to you in your family members? Being accepting and open-minded. And supportive. Who are you the closest to and why? My mom. I live with her and she's supported and loved me through everything. Do you want a family of your own? Why does "family" always have to mean including kids? I don't want any. I just want my s/o and pets. What’s your favorite family tradition? We don't really have any anymore. If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom? Yes, with my oldest sister. She pretty much disowned me at one point, we reconnected, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me again. We are VERY similar according to Mom, so it'd be nice to be close with her, but. What’s your favorite family memory? As a family... uh. Idk. Probably some times we were all in the pool together when my parents were still together, having fun. What TV family most reminds you of your own? *shrugs* Do you ever wish you were raised differently? In some ways, yes. Chores absolutely needed to be more enforced. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you? Idk, I'm sure something my mom said about moving on from things. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why? I wish I had a little brother, but one I was still relatively close in age with. I would've rocked that protective big sister over slightly-younger bro jazz. It would've been cool to have another kid to play with, especially a guy instead of a relatively girly-girl; not trying to make any pre-judgments about an imaginary kid, but you get it. Stereotypes and all. It would've been nice to have a more boyish sibling. Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents? Yeah. If you had a family business, what would it be? That would never happen in my family. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other? Nothing out of the ordinary; ex. they usually just call me "Britt," but it's clear and reasonable why. What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family? I mean it varies. My parents are divorced and best apart so we're never really "together" unless we're at my older sister's house for birthday parties or holidays. That's the only time we're really *all* together. How do you show your family you love them? Always being there to listen or offer a signature bearhug. Have you ever been to a family reunion? Noooo, our extended family is littered all throughout the country. What’s the most important holiday you spend with your family and why? Christmas. It just reminds me of being a kid again. Who in your family would you describe as a “character”? Ho boy, my grandma. It's hurting lately to think of her as a "character" now though, seeing as she's dying of cancer now. She starts chemo soon, but this one's a death sentence regardless. It's spread too much. My relationship with her is strained and difficult, but I care for her nonetheless, and I worry that I'm really going to feel it all crash when she dies and I probably won't be there due to distance and school. What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you? Shit, my family doesn't know most big things about me, I think; not because they don't care, but because I'm embarrassed of hobbies and interests and thus secretive. Only my mom knows mostly everything. I guess more than anything, uhhh... I'm no longer a Christian? I was raised religious, so most probably just assume I still am, and I don't just go around talking about how I dropped my faith. Which family member do you confide in most? Mom. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want? Sight, I think. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend? A friendly, likable personality. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Oh wow, not since... around my birthday in February. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. Last thing received in the mail? For me, school textbooks. Do you have any famous relatives? Only ancestors. I consider "relatives" different/closer. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Have you ever been searched by the cops? It was either staff or police who did so the numerous times I went into the hospital and ER for my mental state. Are you any good at math? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? No. Well, I think. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life? Yes. Have you gone to college/uni? What is/was your major? I'm in college now! My major in this school is organismal biology because they don't have zoology. I'm getting what I need here and then going to a university for zoology. What color is your best friend’s hair? Brown. Where were you going the last time you were a passenger in a car? Yesterday otw home from school. Have you ever dated someone who had a kid from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. What was the last event that was a turning point in your life? Going back to school! :') What’s your favorite setting in nature? (mountains, beach, desert, etc…) M O U N T A I N S  M O T H E R F U C K E R What hair color is most common in your family? BROWN. Almost everyone is brown-haired. For how long has your favorite band been your favorite? Damn, it's been Ozzy Osbourne since 6th or 7th grade, and I'm 23 now. He probably always will be. I'm hopefully seeing him next year and I'm!!!!!!!! not!!!!!!!!!! prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any photos on your refrigerator? What are they of? Yeah. There's numerous of my older sister and her fam, plus my grandmother and her husband. Maybe others, idr. What color are the pillows on your couch? We don't have pillows on there. Have you ever gone more than 5 years without going to the dentist? No. My mom always makes sure her kids keep up with health check-ups. Do you have a hard time sleeping when you’re away from home? It depends on the emotional and physical comfort of where I am, really. Do you know anyone who got engaged while still in high school? I believe so. Are you friendly to retail employees? Honestly, fuck you if you're not for no good reason. Half the shit you complain about isn't their goddamn fault. Do you know anyone who litters? Not regularly, no. I wouldn't associate with them, I don't care how simple that sounds. However, I kept my mouth shut at my nephew's last b-day party because the kids let balloons up into the air; they tend to end up on beaches or in the ocean, so technically, it's littering, but I didn't want to seem like an asshole. I'm certain my sister didn't really think about that though, or else she wouldn't have allowed it. Do you think your neighbors have any complaints about living near you? No. We don't do any harm. The dogs bark sometimes, but not obnoxiously loud to where you can hear it if you're in your house. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried canned vegetable soup when my tongue piercing was healing, but I didn't like it. Where do you usually buy groceries from? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter, depending on a few circumstances. What’s your favorite candy? Reese's if you include chocolate, strawberry Sour Punch Straws if not. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No, not my kinda scene. Are you jealous of anyone? *Envious, yes. Last song listened to? why????? do i like????????? "love rhymes with fuck you" by j star??????????? Do you take vitamins daily? No; only on Sunday I take a vit. d pill because otherwise I'm severely deprived. Is anyone jealous of you? I HIGHLY doubt that, homie. Last CD you listened to? Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" album when Mom and I were otw to my therapist once and my iPod wasn't working. This was FOREVER ago and I'm pretty sure it's still in there, lmao. Is there something you want to tell someone? I'm going to die wanting to see Jason one final time and apologize to him for how I treated him after the break-up. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? NOOOOOOO not a fan of Frosted Flakes. How many kids do you want to have? Zero. Have you ever gone behind your parents' backs? I actually don't think so... Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's huband's grandma will give you a hug even if she met you for only five seconds. Not a bad thing, it's just kinda uncomfortable. Where did you get your worst scar from? Surgery. Do you name your stuffed animals? Some. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yes. What is your favorite roller coaster, and where is it? My ass will not sit in a roller coaster, probably ever. What is your favorite state? From what I've seen, I find Utah the prettiest. Do you own any form of a Gameboy? I have a red Gameboy Advance that somehow still works. How is the world going to end? I find a meteor striking to be most likely, or we're swallowed by a black hole. Do you have any pets? Do you want any/more? Yes, and I do want another ball python morph, as well as a bearded dragon. Though if/when Sara and I move in together, Doris will be enough for a beardie, oml I love that sassy baby. :') <3 How did you find out about Myspace? Probably my older sister, or classmates. Are you careless with your information on the internet? "Maybe by some people’s standards." <<< Change "maybe" to "probably" for me, lol. I'm trying to improve, though. Have you ever owned a lava lamp? No, but my older sis had one as a teen. I want one SO BADLY. Is it better to color with markers, crayons, or colored pencils? Colored pencils, by far. Do you like to draw or write better? Write. I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I like, but I draw so rarely because I'm painfully critical over what I make. Do you have a favorite cousin? No. Can you knit? No. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? Nope. Who are your last three missed calls from? Mom, Mom, and a number I didn't recognize. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I dunno. Have you hung out with any guys recently? No, but I miss Girt, so I should invite him over some time soon. Do you like your school? I love my school. They are very invested into their students' success, as well as being a community. Who’s the weirdest teacher at your school? I wouldn't know, I've only been here a month. Do you have nightmares often? Apparently. Mom sleeps on the couch right outside my door, and I spook her quite a lot by waking up screaming or attacking my bed, she says. Thank God I don't tend to remember them. Clarification, they're not night terrors or anything like that. I'm just pretty active in my sleep, such as talking and such. Can you remember how old you were when your appearance started to matter? I was kinda self-conscious in middle school 'cuz BOY was I an ugly duckling. How frequently do you pee at night? I almost without fail get up once a night to go. Do you name your pet fish, if you have any? N/A Do your parents care about you cussing? Dad doesn't, but Mom does about "severe" words, so I try to censor myself around her. Who is your favorite person in the world? Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? I live only with my mother, so. Is there a stuffed animal you still take places with you? No. Last insult you received? Idk. Have you ever eaten Pop Rocks and drank Coca-Cola at the same time? Yoooo I think I did once at a b-day party, but not a lot bc I was scared lmao. At concerts, do you buy merch? I've only been to one, but I did. I would if I went to more. I've missed some fucking amazing bands' concerts this past year, and it's really annoying me now. Are you gullible? Not really. Do you get excited easily? No. Are you a headbanger? No, I'd get dizzy with a headache on board. First concert you went to? Alice Cooper. What venue was that at? Somewhere in Raleigh, idr. Have you ever been out of state for a concert? No. Are you fascinated by outer space? I don't know a person who isn't. It's very intriguing. Do you shop for new clothes each season? No. Is your hair dyed right now? If so, what color is it? No, but damn I want to. I wanna dye it lilac. I just need a professional to do it. Do you look up your symptoms online whenever you have a problem? Not "whenever," no. I typically just ask Mom. Do you eat enough fruits and vegetables? No. Definitely not vegetables. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? Being truly content with my life one day. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to go up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? I prefer autumn trees. What season would you want to get married in? October/November, preferably, when the trees are all pretty. <3 What does your favorite stuffed animal look like? I have three "favorites," those being Brownie, Plum, and Rebel. I've already talked about Brownie the moose, then Plum is a stuffed snake from Sara that she'd had growing up, and Rebel is my stuffed meerkat from Jason that I always slept with while we were together and for a very long time after the break-up. He was a big comfort to me, and though he's a bittersweet stuffed animal now, idk. A lot of memories. His fur is all matted and you can just tell that fella has seen some love. Do you collect anything? Meerkat & Silent Hill stuff. What was the last book you read? I'm almost done with The Handmaid's Tale for school, and it is fucking phenomenal, coming from someone whose love for reading slipped away long ago. I have never in my life read a book with such vivid imagery and description. When was the last time you moved to a new house? The beginning of 2017. How long was your longest relationship? 3 1/2 years. Tell me about how your parents met. How old were they? They met through work. Idk how old they were, somewhere in their 30s, probably. What makes your bedroom special to you/what is your favorite part about it? It is VERY personalized; my room is looooaaaaded with shit relating to me and my interests, and that's what I love about it. It's very homey to me, surrounded by my passions. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put soap on first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? I think the night of the breakup, when Mom essentially dragged me home from trying to walk to his house to talk. I entirely fell apart. When it comes to school, how motivated are you to work? It depends on where I am, actually. I'm at school for hours most days because my schedule fits into Mom's to avoid driving back and forth, and while I'm waiting in the library, I'm very motivated, even a bit obsessive. Meanwhile, at home, I don't want to work like... at all. I'm so used to this being my chill place. Do you know any high school sweethearts? How’s life treating them? My sister and her husband dated for a while in HS, actually, and they seem just fine. I'm sure my former friend and her husband are still together, and they've dated since middle school. I haven't had contact with her for like a year or so now though so idk how they are. Where do you usually buy your clothes? HotTopic or Wal-Mart. If you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you teach? Science, probably. But God FORBID I ever be a teacher; I wouldn't last. Which is the scariest ride you have ever been on in a theme park? Whatever that ride is where you sit in a bunch of chairs in a circle, go up way too damn high, and drop. I did it as a yolo even though I was terrified, and yeah, I screamed way too fucking loud. Never again.

[sighingstarbeam]

Spies and Gods - Chapter 3

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: Reader gets to go to the Avengers HQ and meets some new people, including a god of mischief, as well as reuniting with a face that she thought she'd never see again.

Word Count: 4,428

Warnings: Reader has a nightmare.

Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

It took you a minute to process what Tony said. You couldn’t believe that you were about to go stay in Avengers Headquarters, the Avengers Headquarters. So many thoughts were running through your head, one of them was if you were going to meet any of the Avengers. You especially wanted to meet Captain America. You had so many questions you wanted to ask him about the 1940’s since he was actually there. But you secretly fangirled over Natasha Romanoff, who was by far your favorite Avenger. She might not have superpowers like the others, but you’ve always looked up to her for being capable of protecting herself while simultaneously kicking ass. You grew giddier by the minute but forced yourself to hide it from Tony.

There was only one thing that didn’t make sense to you. Why would Tony bring you there of all places? You didn’t want to ask and risk not going to see the headquarters, but it was odd that he didn’t send you anywhere else. You decided to risk it.

“So why Avengers Headquarters?” You asked, “You can just drop me off at a motel. I’ll be fine and I’ll even pay for the night.”

“I could, but I figured HQ was a bit nicer than some sleazy hotel like the Hilton.” He made a sharp turn, the engine lightly roared, “We’re like a hotel, but cooler.” Tony’s eyes lit up, “That has a nice ring to it. ‘Avengers Headquarters: We’re like a hotel but cooler’. Don’t steal that I’m officially trademarking it.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “I won’t, I promise.” He smiled back, a flicker of delight surrounded him.

The rest of the ride was silent, other than some rock music playing through the stereo. You looked at your phone in your pocket and realized you had a dozen texts from Lilly and Maya. Dammit, they’re probably worried sick.

[Lilly]: omg girl where r u???

[Lilly]: maya found elliot on the floor

[Lilly]: we think he had a seizure

[Lilly]: nvm hes up

[Lilly]: holy shit did iron man really taze him???!!!

[Lilly]: omfg im sorry elliot was such a dick i kicked him out

[Lilly]: hello???

[Lilly]: pls respond

You thought about what to say to her. They knew you were going out that day, but you weren’t exactly honest with your intentions. Your phone buzzed and your battery icon showed you only had ten percent left. You at least wanted to send a message telling them you’re okay.

[You]: i’m fine, staying somewhere else for the night. battery almost dead i’ll tell you everything later.

You were relieved that Lilly made sure you were fine, but you felt guilty for not telling them where you were or why you were out. They’ve been so nice to you and all you’ve done was keep secrets from them. Hopefully once this whole fiasco was over you would go back and apologize, maybe even make it up to them somehow.

So much was running through your head. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice Tony pull up a gravel driveway. Looking up you saw it, the Avengers Facility that was home to most of Earth’s mightiest heroes.

You gaped at the sight. The structure was ginormous and seemed to be attached to another building. Aircrafts were laid about on platforms, you figured they were some sort of jet wings or something similar. You’d be lying if you didn’t want to fly in one of those. The area was surrounded by trees, making the building seem far more advanced in comparison to its surroundings.

Tony looked at you with a small gleam in his eye. He seemed to adore that you were fascinated about the building, and you haven’t even set foot in it yet.

The car pulled up to what seemed like a slanted glass wall. Tony rolled down his window and stuck his head out, a small machine scanned his face. “Welcome home, smartest Avenger.” the familiar female voice said. Of course it would say that. Tony slyly smirked as the gates opened with an immense creak, you rolled your eyes well knowing he programmed it to say that every time. The doors opened horizontally, allowing Tony to drive in.

The doors closed behind you as lights lit up to reveal the room. There were multiple vehicles parked around. Cars, trucks, a few motorcycles, and even a huge Hummer that could be mistaken for a military truck. Maybe it was military given where you were.

Tony swung the car in a spot a little too harsh, making you grip the passenger seat. He then turned the engine off and exited the car, you followed behind. “So, whaddya think so far?” He asked.

“I’ve barely seen anything and it’s already a lot,” you said, “but it’s really cool.”

“Thank you.” Tony said, opening a glass door for you, “I made a lot of modifications when we first moved in. Everything was so out of date dinosaurs would’ve called it vintage.”

“How old is this place?” you asked.

Tony hesitated, then he spoke, “This used to be a warehouse built by my dad. He kept a bunch of Stark equipment here until it was abandoned. Then I figured we needed a base of operations and boom, here we are.”

You stepped through the doorway to be greeted by a large white room with tall windows. The floor was plated with grates and mirrors mixed into the floor. Most notably in the room were a pair of jets sitting right in the middle like they were decor, but you knew they were used due to the fuel tanks next to them. You turned to look at Tony and saw the Avengers symbol of an ‘A’ high above the doors. “Wow, you guys sure know how to decorate. It’s almost like an Ikea ad.”

You could’ve sworn that you heard him chuckle, but you were distracted by more voices coming from the other end of the room. It sounded like two men, but you couldn’t quite hear what they were saying.

Tony went ahead so you followed. The two of you approached the source and you almost yelled in excitement. Right in front of you was Captain fricking America. It was weird not seeing him in uniform, but you didn’t mind the white t-shirt that showed off some of his muscles.

He was talking to two other men. Where they were standing you could only see the Captain’s face while the other two’s backs were turned to you. All you could tell was that one was slightly taller than the Captain, had short blonde hair, and wore a denim jacket, while the other man was about the same height as the blonde haired one but had intensely dark hair to his shoulders. The dark haired man stood out like a sore thumb, not just because of the hair but he also wore a completely black suit.

You looked at Tony, who was now walking ahead of you, and noticed that his mood changed entirely. One moment he was eager but now he seemed vexed. He didn’t show it much but you could tell in his eyes that something was different. Maybe it was because of the men the Captain was talking to.

The Captain noticed the two of, “Welcome home, Tony,” he shifted his attention to you, “I see you brought a guest with us tonight.”

The other two men turned around to see the new visitor to the Avengers HQ. The blonde haired man gave you a welcoming smile. You weren’t sure but you swore you’ve seen him before. His face was familiar but you couldn’t place a name.

Meanwhile your eyes met with the dark haired man. His face seemed uninterested but his green eyes were focused directly on you, like they were trying to study who you were. You were good at reading people, but this man wasn’t like the others. He seemed different than the rest, not because of the way he looked but his eyes told a story you couldn’t figure out. They seemed full of emotion while the rest of him was stoic.

You focused on him for what seemed like eternity until Tony spoke, “Yep. She’s an exclusive guest with us tonight.” Tony looked at the Captain, “If you would be so kind Jeeves and show her a room, I’d like to catch up with buzzcut and Hot Topic wannabe here. I’ll fill you in later.” The dark haired man rolled his eyes while the blonde haired man laughed. The Captain sighed, then patted the blonde haired man on the back. He walked past you and you followed, looking back at the two men, especially the one in black.

The Captain opened a door for you, making you feel giddy again. Now it’s just the two of you walking down a corridor. You looked around and admired everything about the building, how sleek the walls and floor were, you felt like you were in a futuristic setting in a book.

“Tony must trust you a lot to let you stay the night,” the Captain said, pushing a button to an elevator, “how do you two know each other?”

“I think he’s my dad.” You responded, the Captain looked perplexed by your comment. Might as well be straight forward, “My name’s Y/N.”

“Steve Rogers.” He held out his hand and you gladly shook it. You honestly didn’t realize he had a normal name instead of just being called ‘Captain’. Hopefully he didn’t feel you shaking nervously.

The elevator dinged and the two of you stepped inside. Now it was really just the two of you. You looked at him up and down. He caught you and you jerked your head away hoping he didn’t really see you. He smirked, “I take it you’re a fan?”

“A bit.” No, not just a bit, but you didn’t want to seem weird. “I’m a fan of the Avengers, but I swear I’m not making up being Tony’s kid to meet you guys if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking that at all,” Steve smiled, “I’m just happy that you aren’t the type of fan that bombards us on sight.”

You looked at him concerningly, “Some people don’t actually do that, do they?”

“You’d be surprised how many times it’s happened,” The elevator stopped and opened its doors, you followed Steve down a long corridor, “people these days don’t have much respect for personal space as much as they use to.”

“Oh right, I forgot you’re from the 40’s.” You actually didn’t forget, it was on your mind this entire conversation but you didn’t want to be the first to bring it up, “What was it like back then? If it’s okay if I ask.”

Steve chuckled, “Different. Definitely different than now. New inventions, how people look and talk and act, it’s like I stepped foot on a different planet rather than sleep for seventy years.”

“I wish I could sleep for that long,” you joked, “I bet it’d be the best sleep I’ve ever had.” You looked at Steve for approval, but instead he gave a puzzled smile. You guess your joke was too soon for him.

The two of you walked down the hall lined with doors until you stopped in front of one of them. Steve opened the door revealing a wide room with a plain double bed, dresser, desk with a lamp, and chair. You stepped foot in the room and also noticed to your right a door which you assumed was either a closet or a bathroom.

“This room isn’t occupied at the moment,” Steve said, “so you can use it for however long you’ll be staying.”

“It’s just for the night, but thank you.” Before you got comfortable you suddenly remembered your now dead phone, “Oh, I don’t suppose you guys have a charger. My phone’s dead.”

Steve pointed to the desk against the wall, “Put it face up on the surface of the desk right there.”

You looked at him questionably, but did as he said. The moment you put your phone down the desk flashed a neon blue before your phone turned on, the charging symbol on the screen turning on as well. You gasped, then looked on and around the desk to see that there were no power cords or outlets the desk was plugged in to. You picked up your phone and saw it was already on twenty percent, “Holy crap, this is the fastest I’ve seen it charge in like, ever! How did-”

“One of Stark’s inventions.” Steve smiled at your reaction, “The table has some electrical stuff to charge any electronics without being plugged in. Don’t ask me what’s in it or how he did it I have absolutely no clue. I’m still getting the hang of how video games work.”

You laughed, “It’s techy things, got it. Thanks.”

“Let us know if you need anything.” With that Steve closed the door behind him leaving you alone in the room.

You set your phone back down on the table to let it charge fully and went to inspect what was behind the door. As you suspected it was a bathroom, but it seemed more like a hotel bathroom than a normal one. There was a large counter with a sink in it, a huge mirror with vanity lights embedded in it was placed behind the counter. The shower was as wide with glass walls, not to mention a big bathtub right next to it. You definitely were gonna take a bath before you left in that thing.

After inspecting the rest of the room you plopped yourself on the bed and checked your phone that was now at sixty percent. You were starting to wish you could take this desk home so you didn’t have to buy a new charger every time it stopped working.

Everything you’ve seen was incredible, but you knew you couldn’t get too attached here. It was only for the night of course, and even if Tony is your dad and invited you to stay you knew you had to keep moving. Staying in one place was too dangerous for you.

You checked your phone a few minutes later, it was at eighty percent and around five o’clock. It felt like it was later in the day for how tired you were. You figured you should text Lilly and Maya now before you forgot. So you texted the group chat everything that happened today, from confronting Tony to where you were now. Several minutes went by and nothing. Usually at least one of them is on their phone and would respond. Something inside you began to worry that something bad happened to them, but you shrugged it off. Maybe they were still dealing with Lilly’s now ex boyfriend.

You felt your eyelids begin to droop as you started to doze off from the long day you had. You thought you should get some sleep, even though it was still early. You placed your phone back on the desk and stared at the ceiling, your eyes going in and out of focus as you drifted into a deep sleep.

It was the same dream you have almost every other night. Everything was blurry, dark, and shades of red splattered everywhere. From the blurry images you could only see one face. His face. The same damn face that makes you regret ever being alive. He started running to you, faster and faster, you try to run away but your feet don’t move. They can’t move. Before he reaches you, you wake up.

You barely heard the knock on your door, but the moment it opened you shot up from the bed fully awake. You breathed heavily, wiping away the sweat from your face before the person could come in.

The door opened revealing Tony with a plate of something you couldn’t quite see and a glass of what you presumed was water. “Hey kid, brought some leftovers from dinner. We would’ve asked you to join but you were pretty knocked out.” He turned on the light and your eyes adjusted.

You looked at your phone and checked the time. It was a little past nine, so you only slept for about four hours. You let out a quick yawn and stretched your arms, “Whatcha got for me?”

“Just some pizza. I didn’t know what kind so it’s just cheese.” Tony extended the plate and glass of water towards you.

You looked at the plate and back at Tony, “I’m a vegan.” You said as stale as you could. The expression on Tony’s face was priceless and you couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m kidding. Pizza’s fine, thanks.” You gladly took the plate and glass from Tony who now has a relieved yet glaring look.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Tony turned towards the door, but you wanted to have an actual conversation with him.

“Wait,” he stopped, “can I ask you a few questions?”

He turned back around and took a few steps towards you, “If it’s about your mom I already told you-”

“No, I just wanna talk.” You scooted over on the bed, allowing enough room for Tony to sit down. Getting the hint, he sat down at the foot of the bed. “So, does every Avenger live here? I swear it’s like a sitcom trying to keep up with how many of you guys there are.”

“Kardashian-esque, aren’t we?” He joked, “Not everyone. There are a few who aren’t public with their identities yet and some who do their own thing. We keep in touch from time to time, making sure the world hasn’t blown up yet.”

You nodded, thinking about how there were others out there with super abilities protecting the world. Then you thought of Thor, who wasn’t even from this planet. “What about Thor? Is he ever coming back?”

Tony looked at you puzzled, almost as if you had three heads. “You know you saw him earlier, right?” Now you gave him a puzzled look, he saw this and raised an eyebrow, “He was talking to Cap when we got here.”

You suddenly remembered the man with short blonde hair. There was no way he was Thor, “That was Thor? Last I checked he was in armor and had longer hair than I did, oh, and even had a hammer that shot lightning from it.”

“Yeah a lot happened to him while he was gone. Banner too.” Tony scratched the back of his neck, “It’s best if he explained it to you. I’m still confused even though he told me twice already.”

That settled who the blonde man was, but you were still wondering about the dark haired man. You’ve never seen him fight with the Avengers, unless it was some sort of special ops or secret missions he went on, “What about the other one? The one with black hair. Is he an Avenger?”

Tony froze, he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He thought for a minute before finally speaking, “He’s not an Avenger. He’s Loki, brother of Thor, almost destroyer of our world.” His tone went flat towards the end.

Loki. So that’s who he was. Everything was clicking in your mind, “Was he the guy who almost destroyed New York a few years back?”

“Yep. Thor claims he’s reformed a little bit now, but after they’re done helping their people he’ll be out of here in no time.”

“What do you mean they’re helping their people?” You asked.

“They kinda sort of had to obliterate their home world with their sister on it and now all of Asgard is on Earth now.” You didn’t know how to comprehend what he said, so you just went with it, “I offered them all jobs at Stark Industries to work for a few months to get started, hopefully that goes well and doesn’t get too medieval.”

“That’s surprisingly nice of you.” The media had always made Tony Stark seem like a typical rich guy who was all about himself, but after today you were second guessing yourself. First he invited you to stay the night after saving you from a creep, his attempt to make amends with you was stale but you appreciated it no less, and now he offered an entire city to work for him after their home was destroyed.

“I’m a surprisingly nice person.” Tony shrugged, “Just like when I tazed America’s Most Wanted back at what you called an apartment.”

A new thought emerged in your head. How did Tony know where you were to save you? “Wait, did you follow me to my apartment?”

Tony stood up, “I wouldn’t say ‘followed’, more like making sure you got home okay.” He opened the bedroom door, “Oh, and you’re welcome by the way for that.”

“I could’ve handled it,” You started to feel angry, but you didn’t want  to ruin the bonding moment the two of you had, “but thank you.”

Tony grinned, “Get some sleep. I’ll take you home first thing.” He turned and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Once again it was just you. The short conversation you had with Tony lifted a weight from your chest, but now there was only one thought in your head that you couldn’t shake. Loki was the one who attacked New York with an army of aliens, but they looked nothing like him. You could only wonder how he had that large of an army, or if he was working alone. Even if he was working alone or not, was he going to try to attack again? Thor said that he was reformed, and when you looked in his eyes you couldn’t see any malicious intent. Just his green eyes observing you, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes and the way it gleamed in the light. The rest of his face was unexplainable. His sharp cheekbones, the way his lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you.

You couldn’t get him out of your head, so you decided to finish your dinner and check your phone again. Your phone was blowing up with texts from Lilly and Maya, mostly along the lines of how cool it was how Tony Stark could be your dad, but they also forgave you for not telling them and it was personal problems. You were relieved that they could forgive you, but you still wanted to make it up to them. Trying to get Loki out of your mind you thought of things you could do with Maya and Lilly to give them your gratitude. A few ideas sparked in your head before you drifted back to sleep.

The next morning you woke up from a dreamless night. You looked at your phone that read nine am. That should be a suitable time to get up and get ready for the day. You looked around the room, you almost forgot you spent the night in Avengers HQ. All of yesterday felt like a weird dream, but this all really happened. You stood up from your bed and headed to the bathroom. You undressed, hanging your clothes from the day before to air out as you turned on the shower. The cold drops soon turned warm. You let the water run down your hair all the way to your toes, removing yesterday to go down the drain. As you washed up a certain god entered your head, but you quickly dismissed it easier today than yesterday.

You stepped out of the shower and dried yourself off, changing into yesterday's clothes as they were your only clothes you had on hand. You would’ve packed at least a pair of pajamas, but a surprise sleepover with the Avengers caught you off guard.

You grabbed your phone and bag as you left your room, only to be greeted by Tony walking down the hallway accompanied by another man. “Good morning, Y/N. Hope you slept well.” Tony said. “Rhodey, this is Y/N, the one I told you about. Y/N, Rhodey.”

“You can call me James if you want.” He reached his hand out. You shook his hand, recognizing him as the man who flies Tony’s suit War Machine.

You shrugged your bag over your shoulder, “I’m ready to head out whenever.”

“Got all your things?” Tony asked, you nodded your head, “Alright, I’ll be ready in a few.”

Rhodey looked at Tony, “So soon? She can stay a bit longer, at least for breakfast.”

Tony turned to Rhodey and furrowed his eyes at his contradicting remark, “I don’t suppose why she shouldn’t.” He jerked his head for you to follow him, “Come on, I’ll get Cap to make you a smorgasbord.” You grinned, the hunger finally setting into your stomach.

You followed Rhodey and Tony to another room. It had many sitting areas and a kitchen off to the side. There were two people in one of the sitting areas talking, and few more people in the kitchen. Your eyes gleamed as you recognized the people who filled the room.

In one of the sitting areas was Wanda Maximoff, also known as Scarlet Witch with freaky but cool powers. Next to her was Vision, another one of Tony’s creations that helps the team. In the kitchen was Banner, who you remembered from yesterday talking to the Falcon, actual name Sam Wilson. Then there she was. The woman you were ecstatic to meet from the beginning, Natasha Romanoff AKA the Black Widow. You gawked at them but quickly kept your cool to not embarrass yourself.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is everyone.” Tony waved his hand towards them.

“I already know who you guys are,” you said shakily, “it’s really awesome to meet you.” Your eyes looked at Natasha, your heart thumped in joy.

You heard the doors open again and looked to see who joined. It was Steve walking with- oh no.

“Mornin’ guys.” Tony acknowledged the two, “Y/N you might not know this man, but this is Bucky. He’s the newest addition to the team. Old friend of Cap’s.”

Your eyes were wide as your heart began to race. Bucky looked at you in familiarity,  but it looked like he couldn’t place it where he knew you from. You could tell he remembered the second his eyes went wide as he recalled. “I know you.” Bucky stated, “You’re with Hydra.”

[danfanciesphil]

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 2 

(Part One)

Also up on Ao3!

The Habenero bar is closed on Sundays, thank God. 

The owner of the establishment is, surprisingly, a devout Catholic that believes in resting on the Sabbath. Dan is not all for this Catholic tradition (ignoring, for now, all the oppression and homophobia) because after Saturday night’s hell shifts, he’s usually in need of some recuperation. 

He wakes up at 2pm on Sunday afternoon on his sofa in a shirt that doesn’t belong to him. His phone is stuck to his cheek, and there are crisp crumbs in his hair. There’s a fug of stale, smoky, sweat in the air, like the smell of the soaked dancefloor of the bar at the end of each night. Belatedly, Dan realises that he’s fallen asleep in what he was wearing when he got back last night, meaning that he’s still soaked in alcohol. 

Grimacing at his own grossness, Dan hauls himself up from the sofa and staggers into the bathroom to shower. It’s only as he peers up at his reflection in the mirror above the sink that he remembers the shirt. At first, it confuses him, as it’s far too nice of a garment to be his. It’s clearly fitted, tailored probably, with a subtly cinched waist, and neat, complex stitching around the hem and sleeves. 

He peers closer at his reflection to read the little label on the pocket. 

Givenchy

Dan jumps backwards, hands held aloft as if he’s about to mark the thing with his grubby paws. He needs to get this thing off him right now, it’s far too expensive to be on his body. How had he let himself fall asleep in this last night? It’s probably all crumpled, he’ll have to get it dry cleaned-

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he scrambles for it, heart pounding as he catches sight again of his snappily dressed reflection. It’s a text from Tyler, the last of several by the looks of things. He swipes to view them.

From: Tyler omg CANNOT believe what happened last night

From: Tyler can we get brunch today?? lots to discuss..

From: Tyler hellooo?? earth to dan?

From: Tyler did u die from overstimulation of the brain after giving ur all time celeb crush ur fREAKING NUMBER

From: Tyler message me when ur awake bitch x

The blood drains from Dan’s face as he reads through the messages, all of which confirm that the events of last night weren’t a dream, and that, yes, Phil Lester did saunter into the bar, flirt with him, and hand over his designer shirt so that Dan wouldn’t have to finish work in a soaked one. 

Not knowing how to respond to Tyler, Dan chooses to just ignore it for now. He places the phone down and begins carefully unbuttoning the shirt, fingers practically trembling when he thinks of how expensive it would be if he were to accidentally rip a button off. As his fingers open the lapels, his mind flashes up a helpful image of Phil doing the exact same in front of him last night, his methodical, pale fingers working to reveal his bare chest inch by inch, right in the middle of the god damn bar. 

Dan’s face flames, and he tries hard to think of something else. Once the shirt is off, he folds it as carefully as he can and places it on the counter beside the sink. He then shucks off his beer-soaked jeans, which do not get anywhere near the same treatment, and jumps into the shower. 

It’s only as the warm, comforting stream of water cascades over him that Dan’s frantic mind relaxes enough to slip back into the memory of the previous evening, and all that transpired. Phil Lester. Right there before him. 

The slow, flirtatious smile spreading across his broad, full lips. The familiar sweep of his jet black hair. The pulse of his glinting blue eyes in the swirl of coloured lights. 

‘I got distracted by the cute bartender, and forgot to order him another one...’

‘I could save you as cute bartender when you text me...’

Cute. Phil had called him cute. Twice.

The water seems scalding hot, suddenly. Dan’s body temperature rises by at least two degrees, he’s sure. He swallows down some saliva, and runs his hands through his wet curls. How on earth had any of this happened? Situations like this are so unlikely that they’re almost never heard of. 

He feels how he imagines Katie Holmes must have felt when Tom Cruise sidled up to her, all flirtatious smiles and pick-up lines, after she’d been staring at his poster for all her childhood, tacked onto her bedroom wall. 

Again, the thick, treacly gaze Phil cast across to him over the bar seeps into Dan’s mind. The memory of it covers Dan's whole body, as if it were pouring out of the shower head, slathering him in its intensity. The amount of time Dan has spent staring into those eyes on his phone screen is insurmountable, but having experienced them in real life, he now knows that he may as well not have bothered. Those eyes will haunt him for the rest of time. 

He feels the familiar scratch of arousal start to drag at his thighs, tingling at the tips of his fingers, so he turns the temperature down, trying to divert it. Now that he’s spoken with Phil, so recently, it would seem odd to jerk off to the thought of him. 

...Not that AmazingPhil is anything like a stranger in Dan’s mental storage of wanking material. 

It’s just as Dan is rinsing the shampoo out of his hair that he remembers the one, tiny hiccup in the exchange with his crush. Phil had stolen Dan’s phone to type in his number, and had seen that Dan had been stalking his Instagram. 

As he freezes, remembering this mortifying scene, the shampoo trickles down into Dan’s eyes, blinding him. 

“Fuck!” Dan shouts, loud enough that he’s sure the neighbours heard. 

*

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tyler shovels a slice of avocado toast into his mouth. He chews a bit, noisily, then continues speaking with his mouth full. “I trawl the billions of nasty vintage shops in the Laines for a designer shirt, and you get one handed to you for free?! And by a dazzling, incredibly hot model? Hand over your fucking magic lamp, Dan. Some of us need it more than others.”

Dan watches with a slightly downturned mouth as Tyler talks around his mouthful of food. “Err, I think I was due some good luck, actually.”

Tyler looks like he’s about to argue, but then shuts his mouth, staring down at his plate in reluctant acceptance. “Yeah, okay, true. But still. Can I at least touch it?”

Dan shakes his head, drawing the bag containing the shirt closer to his side of the table. He’s taking it to the local dry cleaning company after this, as well as giving the staff there a long, terrifying warning that if they do so much as snag a stitch, there will be hell to pay. 

“No way,” Dan replies. “You’ll nick the thing if I let you too close to it.” 

Tyler sighs. “You know me too well.” He bites his lip, staring longingly at the bag, and sighs again. “So, when is Mister Delavigne retrieving his garment?” 

Dan shrugs, poking at the poached egg on his plate with a fork. He has no idea why he ordered this, he doesn’t really eat eggs. But brunch is such a specific meal, he feels like he needs to order something aesthetically ‘brunch-like’. 

“Wait, you mean you haven’t set up a time to give it back to him yet?” Tyler asks, horrified. 

“It hasn’t even been a day,” Dan says. “Besides, he said he might stop in on Thursday for Bingo-”

“No no no!” Tyler cries, sounding scandalised. “Dan, are you this clueless? The man gave you his number!” 

Dan’s cheeks heat, remembering the incident that occurred during this scenario. “Yeah, to text him about getting the shirt back.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. “No, you nonce, the shirt is irrelevant! It’s an excuse for you to get in touch with him.” 

This time, Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. It’s a fucking designer shirt, he just wants to make sure he’ll get it back.” 

“He was flirting with you!” 

“He’s a flirty guy. Trust me, I know everything about him. I’m like... a big fan.” 

A sigh of pity gusts across the table towards him. Tyler places a hand atop his, and leans forwards. “Dan, listen to me. Text that hunk of delicious, geek-chic muscle, and watch how he responds. I guarantee he will try and flirt more.” 

“I guarantee he will just say he wants his shirt back.” 

Tyler smirks. “You’re on, dumbo.” 

*

It takes Dan two and a half beers to summon the courage to text Phil. He spends Sunday evening scrolling through the photos on the AmazingPhil Instagram page, studying each one in great detail so that he can remember each minute feature of Phil’s perfect, Adonis-like face. 

He’s had the text message screen up for some time, the word ‘Phil’ at the top where he’d saved his number, as if he were just any ‘Phil’, rather than the Amazing Phil that has haunted Dan’s daydreams ever since he first stumbled on a photo of him years prior. 

For maybe the sixth time that night, Dan types out a potential message. 

From: Dan To: Phil Hey, this is Dan from Habeneros bar. I have your shirt. Would you like me to  send it back to you?

He doesn’t send it yet. Instead, he copies the message, and pastes it into his chat with Tyler. The response is practically instantaneous. Dan wonders, not for the first time, if Tyler actually has any semblance of a life outside of the bar. 

From: Tyler To: Dan wtf is that shit????

From: Tyler To: Dan r u trying to turn him off

From: Dan To: Tyler ?? what do u mean

From: Tyler To: Dan u sound like a bot

From: Dan To: Tyler im being polite!!!

From: Tyler To: Dan polite is not going to get you in his pants

Instantly, Dan’s cheeks catch aflame, and he feels his heart squeeze. Even the idea of such a thing is too much for Dan’s poor, wrung out brain to comprehend. He could never, in a billion years, be that lucky. After last night, where one of the most absurd of his sexual fantasies came true - Phil stripping off in front of him in public - he’s sure his luck has run dry. 

From: Dan To: Tyler shut up. tell me what to say then

From: Tyler To: Dan ‘hey sexy, still shirtless? i live nearby if u want some help with that...’

Dan splutters and chokes on his beer. 

From: Dan To: Tyler NO!!

From: Tyler To: Dan fine fine. prude. how about...

Teeth gritted as he wills his heart rate to settle back into a reasonable rhythm, Dan waits for Tyler’s next message. His fingernails tap on the edge of his beer bottle. Trit, trit, trit. 

From: Tyler To: Dan ‘hey! not sure if u remember me but u heroically clothed me in ur Givenchy at a bar on Sat. the lanky bartender covered in blue sugary liquid? i know, i know, super hot.  anyway :’) i have your shirt. you  should swing by the bar again! or i  can send it back. up to you dude!  but bingo nights are off the fuckin chain js. let me know :) x’

Dan reads the message through, only cringing slightly. Honestly, he was sure it would be way worse. It’s actually kind of funny, and weirdly sounds like him. Tyler has clearly been subjected to Dan’s lame sense of humour for far too long. 

Without thinking, Dan drains the rest of his beer, copies the message Tyler gave him, and pastes it into the text box he’s opened with Phil. He presses send before his alcohol laced mind can catch up, wanting to be rid of this conundrum. 

From: Dan To: Tyler ok, sent it. 

From: Tyler To: Dan omg what :O

From: Tyler To: Dan did you really?? :’’’D

From: Tyler To: Dan i thought you’d want to edit it a bit first!! wow ok looool

From: Dan To: Tyler dont say that! you’ll make me anxious

From: Dan To: Tyler besides you made it sound like me its fine

From: Tyler To: Dan uh huh... let me know what he says :’D

From: Dan To: Tyler i fucking hate u

From: Tyler To: Dan xxx

The corner of Dan’s mouth quirks traitorously. His relationship with Tyler is complicated. Never before has he been able to hate someone and love them at the same time. Just as he’s about to pocket the phone again, it buzzes in his hand. He glances at the screen to see that Phil has - oh, God - already texted him back. 

He almost drops the damn thing.

From: Phil To: Dan hey dan! yeah of course i remember you ;D surprisingly i dont strip off in the middle of a bar that often. or  for just anyone ;) omg id forgotten about bingo!! super excited. i’ll be there! what time should i swing by? xx

His hand grows clammy, and he can feel his heart picking up speed. It’s mental that just reading Phil’s words can have him so agitated. He wonders if Phil has already saved his name into his phone. Probably not. Dan’s still a complete stranger, just one that happens to have a very expensive item of his clothing. 

From: Dan To: Phil awesome. you wont be disappointed! bingo starts at 7 on thursdays :) ur  shirt and i will see you there! x

Dan dithers about the kiss. He deletes it and retypes it three times, wondering what sort of message it transforms into when it’s added. In the end, after careful analysis of Phil’s initial message (in which there are not one, but two kisses attached) he decides to leave it on. 

Dan more or less expects that to be the end of the conversation, and he breathes a sigh of relief as the text swoops out of his control, but the sight of the three pulsating dots on the left bottom corner of his screen stop him from closing the text window. 

He waits, heart palpitating, for Phil’s reply. 

From: Phil To: Dan are u feeding her well? i hope ur  taking her for a walk twice a day.  tell her i love and miss her, and will see her soon. xx

Dan snorts with laughter, realising that Phil is referring to the shirt. 

From: Dan To: Phil she just pooped on my carpet :/ buttons everywhere x

From: Phil To: Dan :o so sorry. will be sure to give her no treats when i get her back xx

From: Dan To: Phil what kind of treats does she like? x

From: Phil To: Dan moth balls, tide pods... she’s fussy  :/ xx

Dan’s sniggers into his jumper sleeve, eyes crinkling at Phil’s silly responses. Is this flirting, he wonders? Could Tyler have been right about this? 

From: Phil To: Dan gotta run! im sitting in makeup for a shoot and they just finished  prettifying me :’D see u thurs ;) xx

‘You’re already pretty’ is Dan’s instant thought for a response, but he deletes it as soon as his fingers begin typing the words. He shakes his head at himself, berating his brain for being so gooey and idiotic. 

From: Dan To: Phil cool :) see u! x

Much more appropriate, Dan thinks, then locks his phone. It hits him like a freight train as he sits on the edge of his bed, blank phone in hand, that he just arranged a follow up meeting with AmazingPhil. 

He remains perfectly still, sure that the second he moves, the impact of what he’s just done will send him into a full blown panic attack. He invited Phil to Bingo night of all nights. 

He drops his head into his hands, groaning. As he looks up through the slats between his fingers, he notices the Givenchy shirt, hanging proudly on the door of his wardrobe. 

“This is all your fault,” Dan tells it. It doesn’t respond. 

*

Bingo nights are one of the Habenero bar’s busiest. Tyler first came up with the idea around two years ago, being a self-declared Bingo-hoe, but filled with criticism of Brighton’s few and far between Bingo events. 

“Bingo should be about booze, glitter, and loud, obnoxious screaming,” Tyler used to say. “Brighton needs to up its Bingo game.” 

Finally, after months of pleading to Habenero's owner, Tyler managed to wrangle an opportunity to host an experimental Bingo evening, run on his terms. He spared no expense of the meagre budget he was permitted, and created Brighton's, and maybe the world's, first Gay Rave Bingo Extravaganza. 

There are several rounds to the game. The first is the ‘classic’ round, to get everyone into the swing of things. Players are in teams of up to five, they get a Bingo board between them with a selection of random numbers. Tyler, the charismatic host, hops up on the stage to crack a few jokes and welcome everyone. He then goes back to serve drinks whilst Dan calls out the numbers. 

Teams receive ten points per round if they win, five if they come second, one if they come third. 

The following rounds get a little... messier. There’s a ‘drag race’ round, where new boards are handed out, and photos of the RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants are projected onto a screen. Players must correctly identify the contestants in order to be able to cross them all off on their boards. 

This is followed by Dan’s favourite, the ‘closet smash’ round, where clips of famous ‘gay’ scenes from movies, TV shows, webseries’ or any other kind of media are shown on mute, and players must cross the unheard lines of dialogue off on their board. 

There’s a ‘guess the ballad’ round, where LGBT+ friendly songs are played that must be guessed, and finally one last round of just numbers, this time while everyone is significantly more drunk (drinking a sip or a shot each time a correct answer is guessed is highly encouraged, but not necessarily advised by the bar staff, due to the lawsuit that could ensue) and there are loud, booming Madonna hits playing. 

The team with the most points at the end of the night gets a £50 bar tab, along with a shower of glitter, confetti and applause. The losing team has to forfeit. 

Phil arrives in the nick of time, flanked by one intimidatingly attractive man, and a slightly older straight couple. Dan spots them straight away, and hops down from the stage, pink-cheeked, as Tyler continues welcoming the various patrons that have shown up. 

There is no shortage of teams this evening. Dan sincerely hopes Phil is prepared for what’s about to unfold here, although if he has ever been to a different Bingo night, he probably has a very different idea of what to expect. As Dan approaches, he can see the flicker of surprise that is so often found on first-timers' faces, flickering across Phil's gorgeous features.  

“Hey,” Dan manages, heart already clawing itself up his throat. 

Phil turns to him, a bright smile sweeping across his face at once. “Dan!”

A bright, white flash of electricity shoots down Dan’s spine; hearing his name on Phil’s lips is a little too much to handle, at present. He manages not to swoon on the spot, just. 

“You made it!” 

“Of course!” Phil grins. “How could I resist Bingo night?”

Dan smiles, melting under the pleasant, crackling campfire of Phil's warm greeting. Tonight, Phil is wearing contacts, and his eyes seem even bluer than they had the first time. As he stares into them, Dan thinks he can spot glimmers of gold, of violet, of lime. 

“Not sure this is quite the sort of Bingo night I pictured when you dragged me here, Phil,” the attractive man on Phil’s left says, breaking Dan out of his trance. 

Phil laughs, nodding in agreement. "Me neither. But I'm excited. This is PJ by the way, Dan." Phil jabs a thumb at the man. "And this is my brother, Martyn, and his girlfriend, Cornelia." 

Biting back a stab of jealousy, Dan shakes waves to each of them, ending on PJ, for whom he finds himself needing to bite back a stab of jealousy. How many attractive men does Phil just cart around with him, day to day?

"Oh don't get me wrong, Dan, I'm excited too," PJ says. "Anything glittery brings out the craft-wizard in me."

"Sophie's going to be so pissed that she missed this," Phil says, eyes still sweeping around the gaudily decorated bar. Tyler spares no expense for Bingo nights. Everything is covered in banners, in balloons, in... glitter. Lots and lots of glitter. It's a nightmare to clean up at the end of the night, every time. 

"Not sure it's acceptable to have two straight couples in a gay bar," PJ mutters in response. 

Ah, Dan notes, his jealous monster retracting its claws. PJ is perhaps not as much of a threat as he'd thought. Not that there's anything about Dan which would need threatening. His chances with someone like Phil are laughably non-existent, whether or not Phil's handsome friends are straight. 

"Oh, you're all very welcome," Dan assures PJ. "Bingo is a non-discriminatory sport."

"Sport?" Martyn asks, looking a little more on the concerned side than some of the others.

Dan chuckles. "Yeah, uh, our take on Bingo is a bit more... energetic, than you might be used to."

Phil raises a perfectly arched eyebrow, obviously intrigued. Dan just smiles back enigmatically. “So, do you have a spare table for us?” 

“Hmm, we might,” Dan says, trying with all his might to look nonchalant as he sweeps a vague gaze across the room. 

By no means can Phil know that Dan has spent the last two hours in which he and his co-workers set up being relentlessly teased for insisting on saving the best table for AmazingPhil. He'd gotten to work early, in fact, and reserved Phil the table right near the front, not too close to the speakers, but with a fantastic view of the ball cage and the screen. 

As breezily as he can, Dan leads Phil and his friends to this table, and gets them seated with pens, a Bingo board, and some drinks menus. It’s at this moment that Tyler, who has been buffeting the audience about on the breeze of his easy, clever humour, decides to introduce him. 

“And this yummy little twink over here is Dan,” Tyler says into the mic he’s holding. He gestures down at where Dan hovers, near to Phil’s table. The audience all turn to him, spreading a warm, gradual blush over his cheeks. “Dan will be fondling all your balls this evening, so do please keep an eye on him. Tip him well, ladies. Fellas. Folks in between.”

The audience laugh heartily, including all of Phil's table, so Dan just glares at Tyler, then scurries onto the stage in preparation for the first round. As he draws the first few numbers from the ball cage, Tyler wanders through the tables, taking drinks orders and greeting some regulars. Dan watches him hawkishly as he goes, hardly concentrating as he calls out the numbers. Eventually, Tyler saunters over to Phil's table, which is a frightening thing to behold. Dan stutters as he calls out the number in his hand, too intent on trying to lip-read Tyler's words as he converses with Phil and his friends. 

Whatever Tyler is saying seems to be making Phil laugh, which is hardly a good sign. 

After a minute or so, Tyler moves away, and Dan relaxes into his routine, cracking jokes each time a vaguely sexual number is called out - everyone loses their goddamn shit as usual when he reads out 69 - and things pass without issue. He keeps an eye on Phil's table as subtly as he can, and from what he can make out, the four of them seem to be having a good time. 

It catches Dan off guard when a table near the back shout out "Bingo!", distracted as he is by Phil's presence tonight. He blinks at the winning table for a moment before remembering his duty, and calls them up on stage to check their board. 

"Alright, winner of the first round, table 22!"

"Our team name is actually Cougar Chasers," one glittery young man informs him. 

Dan just smiles awkwardly, not wanting to explain that team names have never been part of the Bingo rules. As the team leave the stage, Dan glances back down towards Phil's table just in time to see Phil mouth "this round?" to PJ. 

He smirks to himself, wondering how the infamous AmazingPhil will cope under the intensity of the next few hours. 

*

Phil does not cope well. 

His team struggles the most by a long way, which is perfectly normal for first time Bingo players at Habenero. They get some points, but only a few, and are often seen scribbling frantically, or having heated discussions amongst themselves, eyes wide, hands gesticulating, stirring the confetti that's gathered on the table. 

Despite his poor performance, however, Phil seems to be enjoying his experience thoroughly. His glasses may be steamed from the dry ice Tyler pumps out in excess, and his clothes and hair might be smothered in an inch of glitter, but he's grinning widely, and is clearly trying his hardest. His forté seems to be the drag race round, for which his team actually manages to place second due to Phil's apparent extensive knowledge of the show. 

He throws the board up in the air when he shouts "Bingo!", but unfortunately it's a fraction of a second too late, and another team snags first place. 

At the end of the final round, it becomes clear to Dan, with a slow sense of dread, that Phil's team has lost. The losing team gets a forfeit, and it's almost always the same thing. Tyler swans over to the stage to announce the winners, and Dan falls back, eyeing Phil's table with a prickling fear. 

"...so big round of applause once more for our winners, everyone!" Tyler shouts once he's announced everyone. The crowd cheer and whistle for the winning teams, who bow theatrically, blowing kisses to the audience. "Bring your sparkly asses up to the bar to claim your £50 worth of drinks. But, come on now folks. I know what you dramatic little hoes are really excited for." Tyler winks and they all laugh, cheering happily. "Our big losers tonight... I am most scintillated to announce, are..." 

Dan bites his lip. 

"Table 34! Otherwise known as our smoking celebrity presence this evening, Instagram's AmazingPhil," Tyler announces. "And friends." 

Phil's eyebrows shoot up in unmistakeable shock. The crowd cheers, bewildering him and the others at the table even further. To Dan's surprise, Phil looks to him, questioningly, as if he's asking Dan to explain. Dan sends him a pitying glance, wondering if there's any way to warn Phil of what's about to happen. It's usually fairly pointless to try and stop Tyler, however. And besides, the idiot is already speaking again. 

"So, I'm sure you all know by now what happens to our losing team each week," Tyler says, grinning down at them all. "Table thirty-four, please kindly follow me to the bar." 

A loud 'whoop' of excitement resounds around the room, and there's a scrape of chairs as people hurry over towards the bar, wanting to secure the best spots for the spectacle about to unfold. Dan reluctantly begins climbing down from the stage as well, at which point he feels someone grab his arm. He turns, surprised to find himself face to face with Phil, and stumbles on his way down. Phil, who still has hold of his arm, manages to stop Dan from landing smack down on the sticky floor, hauling him upright. 

Dan, mortified, stammers out some sort of thank you, much to Phil's amusement. "Don't worry," Phil tells him. "I surprised you, it's my fault. Though I have a feeling I'm not going to be feeling as chivalrous towards you in a few minutes." 

Phil raises an eyebrow at him, still questioning, and Dan just attempts an enigmatic smile. He's so flustered that he's sure it comes off as more of a grimace, but at least he tries. 

"Hey, mate, it's not my fault you suck at Bingo," Dan says, his daring comment scrounged up from a reserve of courage he wasn't aware existed. "The Habenero staff accept no responsibility for you not reading the rules of the event before participating." 

Phil huffs a laugh, and releases him. "Perhaps a certain bartender should have given me a list of these rules before allowing me to sign up?"

Dan throws his hands up in front of him, already backing away from the conversation. "Hey, all the rules are listed on our website. Now, sir, if you would kindly step up to the bar to accept your forfeit."

Just as Dan is about to turn from him and sprint off, Phil steps forwards, penetrating Dan's personal bubble with his intimidating presence. Dan stops breathing instantly, caught in a sudden limbo as the world slows around him, the movements of the crowd crawling to a snail's pace, the pumping music becoming a distorted drawl. Phil leans towards him, a smirk on his lips, which he brings to Dan's ear. 

"Kind of like it when you call me Sir." 

He leans away, and the world falls back into its rhythm, the music blaring, the lights swirling in a cacophony of colour. Dan blinks, or so it seems, and Phil has moved from him, is back with his friends, headed for the bar. Dan lets out the breath he's been holding in a sudden rush, his lungs screaming with relief. He takes a moment to gather himself as best he can, heart palpitating wildly, and shakily makes his way over as well. 

*

"So, Dan, tell me," Phil says, wiping his sodden fringe from his brow. "How is it that whenever I come within ten feet of you, I seem to have an overwhelming urge to remove my shirt?" 

Dan, who is having a great deal of trouble averting his gaze from the miles of smooth, glittery skin covering Phil's bare chest, shrugs, mouth moving without making a noise. Phil is dripping wet, covered in beads of moisture, his damp shirt slung over one shoulder. He looks delicious, like a cold, dewy, fresh apple, just begging Dan to sink his teeth in. Just then, Tyler wanders over, placing two shots down on the bar between Dan and Phil. 

"Don't worry, hot stuff," Tyler tells Phil, winking. "Dan's pretty, but his charms wear off eventually." 

"I doubt that," Phil replies smoothly. Dan splutters, reddening. Phil glances down at the shots Tyler handed over, frowning. "What's this?"

"Thought you deserved a drink after all we put you through this evening," Tyler says. "And I thought Dan might like to join you."

Dan glares at Tyler, who just beams back, happily, before sauntering away. Shyly, Dan turns back to Phil, who has picked up the shot glass between his thumb and forefinger, and is rotating it in the space between them, gazing into the clear liquid. 

"Sorry about him," Dan says, surprised that he's able to force the words out, croaky as they are. "And sorry about... y'know. Everything else." 

Glancing over the rim of the shot glass, Phil grins, eyes crinkling. "Are you kidding? This is the best Bingo night I've ever been to." 

"Even though we sprayed you and your friends with the soda hoses for losing?" 

Phil nods. "Which means you must be an excellent Bingo host." 

"I'm just the guy who reads the numbers," Dan says, dismissive. 

He refuses to take credit for the Bingo nights. They're Tyler's baby, he just helps out. 

"You clearly know your way around the balls," Phil jokes, winking as Dan splutters again. His cheeks feel like they're about to burst into flames, at this point.

"Hah, well..." Dan shifts awkwardly, adjusting his jeans - they have a tendency to slip down his hips without permission. "Good to know I have at least one talent, I guess." 

"So, are you going to drink with me, Dan?" 

Dan hesitates, looking down at the shot Tyler poured for him. The milky yellow colour suggests tequila, perhaps the strongest thing he could have given them. Dan has over an hour left of his shift still, and technically he's not supposed to ingest any alcohol whatsoever during working hours. However, that doesn't mean he never does. Customers buy him drinks all the time, and while he sometimes declines, or pretends to drink them... there have often been instances where he's given into temptation. 

As he stares across the counter at his all time crush, shirtless and dripping from where he'd been sprayed with lemonade and soda water, Dan kind of gets the feeling that this is going to be one of the times where his resistance falls through. 

Not trusting himself to speak, Dan just picks up the shot, and watches in quiet awe as Phil smiles, clinks his own against it, and throws it back, expertly. Caught on the tantalising bob of Phil's stubbled Adam's apple as he swallows the spirit, Dan almost forgets to drink his. He remembers just as Phil's eyes fall back to his, and downs it swiftly. 

Purely to show off, Dan reaches below the bar to grab some lemon wedges, and hands one to Phil, blushing. "Here, it's practically blasphemous to do a tequila shot without a chaser." 

"Well, I'm no stranger to sin," Phil says, but accepts the lemon anyway, grinning. 

Dan bites into his lemon wedge, cursing himself internally when he realises how unattractive his face becomes as he does so. Luckily, Phil just chuckles, and does the same, wincing. "Ugh, that was awful. Tell your friend I said thanks." 

Dan laughs. "I will."

"Well, I'd better get back to my friends," Phil says, scanning the immediate vicinity for them. "Not looking forward to another shirtless walk home though, I must admit. I got some... peculiar reactions from people last time." 

"Sorry about that," Dan says, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "Oh, wait, what am I saying? I have your shirt from last time, you can wear that." 

"Oh, right," Phil says, laughing to himself. "I completely forgot that's why I came tonight."

"Having too much fun, clearly," Dan jokes, already scooting out from behind the bar. "Come with me, I left it in the staff room." 

Dan weaves through the thinning crowd of people. People tend to leave pretty quickly after Bingo night ends on Thursdays. He and Tyler will probably be able to close early tonight. Dan can feel Phil following behind, as if he's attuned to Phil Lester's movement, tapped into the heat of his body. He feels he'd be able to just sense if Phil was in a room, even if it was packed with people. Phil's presence pours out a specific, viscous aura, clogging Dan's pores, seeping into the workings of his brain and slowing them down, smearing a haze across his sight. 

They reach the door of the staff room, marked 'private', and Dan pushes inside, heading straight for the lockers on the far wall. His skin prickles, sensing that Phil has followed him in here. It only now occurs to Dan how strange this might seem, luring Phil into an empty, secret room under the premise of returning him something. He decidedly does not turn around, instead choosing to fumble with his locker key in the door. 

"I, uh, got it dry cleaned," Dan babbles, drawing the garment out of his locker. It's still on its hanger, as uncreased and pristine as Dan could manage. "I don't know if it was supposed to have any special treatment, but I told them to be extra careful-" 

As Dan turns, he realises that Phil has moved extremely close. Neither of them hit the light switch, so the room remains dark, only lit dimly by the coloured lights pouring in through the ajar door. Dan can hear Phil breathe, can hear the thump of someone's heart - probably his own. He's pretty sure the song playing in the bar outside is Britney's 'Toxic', but he can't be sure. The sound of his own desperate, roiling desire is deafening. 

"Thanks, Dan," Phil says softly, reaching for the shirt. "Wish I could've seen you in it." There's a pause; Dan can hear his own cells fizzing through his body. "Or not in it." 

In that second, Dan is sure he's about to be kissed. Every sign is there: Phil inching closer, leaning in, the flutter of his eyes, as if they're about to fall shut. Dan tries to brace himself for it, to prepare his frantic brain for something so miraculous, so improbably, so utterly wild as being kissed by AmazingPhil-

The door swings open. Blinding, fluorescent light floods the room, and Phil steps backwards, cringing from it. 

"Shit, sorry..." Lara says from the doorway. Her round, pretty face is filled with apologies. "My shift is over, Tyler said I could head home... fuck, did I interrupt-"

"Hey, it's okay," Phil says brightly, sending her a soft, reassuring smile. "Dan was just returning my shirt. I need to head home as well, anyway. Great night, guys! Thanks again for the shirt, Dan!" 

In the next second, he's gone, and Dan, a mess of emotions, is somehow on the floor, back against the lockers, mind utterly blank. He vaguely notes, in the background, Lara jabbering at him, a thousand apologies falling from her lips. 

*

For two agonising days, Dan hears nothing else. Aside from Tyler bringing the topic up every few milliseconds, Dan's life trundles on devoid of AmazingPhil. Even his Instagram is dry. The day after Bingo night, Phil posts an apology note on his Instagram story that reads:

overdid it at Bingo last night (dont laugh) - having a much needed hangover day in bed with sweet potato fries & a Buffy marathon. Posts will resume ASAP! xx

The day after that, Phil posts nothing. It's unusual. Instagram is Phil's job, so he posts at least once a day, normally. Of course, there are exceptions, like when he goes up North to visit his family, or is too busy and forgets. There's far from a regular upload schedule, but AmazingPhil can normally be relied upon to post at least once a day, and often more. 

Then, on Sunday, just as Dan is getting in from his shift at around six in the morning, his phone buzzes. Dan reaches for it as he's peering into his fridge. He's bone tired, but his stomach is not going to let him go straight to sleep. 

He checks his notification, and freezes, under the judgemental eye of the courgettes on the shelf in front of him. 

amazingphil just posted a photo

Dan swipes the screen carefully, his heart in his mouth. How is he going to handle seeing this man, again, after everything that's occurred? He holds his breath, picturing the slow steps Phil made towards him, the gradual descent of his plush, pink mouth, the glimmer in his round, blue eyes...

The photo flashes up, and Dan's stomach twists in shock. His heart plunges to his knees, and he has to cling onto the fridge door for support. The photo is of Phil, and someone else. That someone else is recognisably Charlie Hickory, the man Phil had brought with him the first time they met. 

They're kissing. 

Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of posts, as you can see I've been kind of busy ;) back to normal uploads now, I promise!! xx

As his eyes sting with white hot jealousy, Dan realises just how deeply he's stupidly, ignorantly allowed himself to wade into this swamp of yearning for a guy he could never, in a thousand years, hope to get. 

"Well, I'm a fucking twat," Dan sighs, and slams the fridge door. 

(Part 3!)