#shit i can't post in my sideblog....... if you see this no you didn't

[cherrymoonvol6]

oh................

[indi-glo-archive]

guys.

[wackytheorist]

A love letter to qsmpblr because everyone's making one and I think appreciating your favorite pages is wonderful.

(I'm not the best at introductions but you guys really do mean a lot for me, so here's my story)

I never used to care about tumblr, I only had an account to check out the funny posts and maybe reblog them on my sideblog but this account was colorless. I was just wead(random text spam that I can't remember).

Why? Because socializing was(and still is) quite hard and handling a community online was way to much stress for me, an overthinker. Of course I made occasional vague posts in the heat of the moment but I never wanted to be considered a qsmpblrian.

But then came the qsmp reset, and wayyy to many thoughts in brain I began posting. Then came the ghosties arc and so I began liveblogging and theorizing and ignoring my overthinker thoughts because qsmpblr was a big community and no one cared for little ol' me right?

I was so wrong, and happy to be wrong because now, I regret nothing and this community is the 9th most important thing of my life.

You see I love appreciating people inside but when I try to talk about it, I stumble hence the weird wording

PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO THANK UNDER CUT

@ultra-raging-ghost You used to be my primary source of badboyhalo vlogging, thank you for catching me up to date. It was so fun go insane over badboyhalo with you, even if it was for a short time.

@kadextra I'm devouring your art oml, also loved to liveblog with your so cool omg.(I'm so so so honoured to be your mutual)

@alchemicaladarna Holy shit your brain please keep yapping if alchemicaladarna made a lecture on badboyhalo lore, you bet your ass I'd be there.

@q-starhalo , @rhiaarrow , @imferns , @pomme--bleuet and all the other bbh vloggers I couldn't mention for various reasons, thank you for your services o7

@iminyourbookshelf I loved chomping the heads of federation workers with you, your amazing and cool :D

@semifontos I've said everything I wanted to say everything in your reblogs but omg your writing is insane/pos

@tubborucho I didn't expect you follow back, your sosososososo very cool :D

@pommunist Thank you for your services to bringing us information about the qadmin situation(and for being the based af)

@ethertheaether The fanfiction on Omelete made my shitty month 2000x better.

@itsbebebrainrotting @faffodil @imnotasweetie @dotterelly @annimator @artistnerd24

@theroseyhues @lilghostlettuce @qsmp-extraordinaire Your reblogs make my day pippipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipi

@qsmpcryptid @insanitybl00m @adreamoverlife @etoilesbienne @sarcastictissy and a lot of blogs I can't all capture thank you!

@qsmpincorrect @qsmp-where-they-shouldnt-be @which-qsmp-egg-would and all the events that kept us entertained.

AND @YOU QSMPBLR USER!!

[elliewiltarwyn]

mom said it's my turn for a sentimental before-dawntrail sign-off post

once early access begins, i'm probably gonna straight-up just take tumblr off my bookmarks bar and my phone until i'm done with dawntrail msq, which might take a bit even if there aren't any massive queues or anything because i have a lot of IRL stuff going on. and because i'm not really much of a queue person, that does mean i won't be posting anything till i'm back (and i will of course tag #dawntrail spoilers when i do). but before i go radio silent im gonna be cringe on main. on my sideblog. you know what i mean. anyway:

i super incredibly appreciate every little interaction from big to small i've had with the tumblr ffxiv community through this blog. whether you just left a like or a reblog, sent in an ask, tagged me in a quiz or tag game or otherwise, or if we've actually become diehard tumblr mutuals that would kill for each other, it's all meant the world to me and i've been blown away by how much people seem to like ellie and mia and lily.

i didn't know what to expect when i started this sideblog (nearly a year ago wtf!!), but it's been by and large a ton of fun, and i've made a lot of legit actual friends that i am truly blessed to know and hang out with both ingame and out (you know who you are and i hope you know i love and support ya <3), and i know there are many more i would love to get to know in the new expansion. it's been a blast learning about and getting to know everyone's wols, and i'm excited for the possibility of more cool shit to do in the new expansion with all you cool folks.

and honestly being a part of all this has probably helped keep me sane as i try to handle all that irl shit, and i can't express enough how thankful i am for that.

i don't really know how to end this and i know i'm being unbearably sappy so i'll stop there lol. see y'all on the other side 👋

[genderisareligion]

🫶🏽

Thank you for being w/ me on this sideblog I started 3 years ago to vent about racist TRAs that's become a much larger space for me to analyze and take down misogyny. I had a rough break up this year as well as it hitting me that my CSA was a lot worse than I understood and I have DID now because of it, but coming on here and reading y'all's posts about subsisting in this awful male dominated world has done its healing work, as it has for over a decade.

I've been on this site for 14 years this year (on which I mostly blame the autism for not wanting to change my online routine this hard lol) and I do in part blame Tumblr for causing my radical feminism, and I suspect that I'm not alone in this, which is why I think the backlash here has become what it is.

Used to be in like 2014 that quotes from women like Dworkin and KAM misandry jokes were a dime a dozen, IIRC I didn't even start seeing the dreaded -ERF acronyms until after that year, and it's part of why I can't leave, like it's just fascinating year after year how much the site collectively forgets its own history. I will never not think it was a deliberate psyop that "pussy hats are transphobic, intersectionality is about trans women" became popular at the same time a rampant rapist misogynist cracker won the "leader of the free world" election. Male solidarity runs deeper than even they realize

I will never forgive liberals for spending the last decade so obsessed with trendy microlabels and increasingly unique individual experiences and "actually genital preference is evil" to the point that now "Are straight men who feel no romance part of the LGBT community?" is a legitimate question y'all are asking yourselves and answering in the affirmative

Actual homosexuality and actual feminism aren't going anywhere. I didn't change and "become transphobic" while I sat on the same blog reblogging the same feminist shit, trans people decided that not wanting to sleep with them and not revising history in order to benefit them were hate crimes, and then the response to the same blog changed.

From needing to make this space out of necessity I've reached and been reached by more women on here than I ever would've from main so congrats on playing yourselves TRAs lol you will never kill female solidarity or convince us all we're "cis." Die trying though

[amiizuki]

small edits of the epilogue designs of the main 5

(not including Eda, Lilith and Vee, I think they look okay and I honestly dunno what to change with their designs)

btw these are all gonna be edits of the renders from the owl house wiki, because my drawing skills are too ass to draw designs from scratch

Luz:

'ight, I gotta get this out right off the bat – I fucking hate Luz's ugly as fuck pants

everything else in her outfit looks great – I love the snake on the jacket (and how it kinda blends in with the stripes on her shirt), I love her wearing the striped shirt she was wearing in the pilot and I love that she's wearing Amity's old necklace, but the pants are just the worst. this shade of yellow looks like shit, doesn't fit with the rest of the colors (apart from maybe her eyes and part of the necklace, if you wanna stretch it) and those dumb patches just make her legs look busy/cluttered. so, I removed all the patches and made Luz's pants beige, similar to the ones she wore at the end of season 2 (that whole look was honestly really good, sad it was only used for a couple episodes).

oh and I also slightly tweaked her hair because it just looked weird to me. I dunno why, but both her slicked back hairstyle in s3 and the epilogue hairstlyle always looked off to me, and I can't quite put my finger onto why.

Amity:

I made a post on my sideblog a while back where I explained why I thought the hairstyle Amity had in the epilogue didn't really fit with how I interpreted her overall hair change over time. basically that whole post boiled down to:

Amity with a high ponytail/high bun/etc. – represents Amity under her mother's control (since Odalia has almost the same hairstyle)

Amity with her hair down or with a low ponytail/low bun/etc. – Amity is no longer doing what her mom says, she's making her own choices now

so seeing her go back to having a high ponytail in the epilogue just didn't sit right with me. and that's why I decided to give her a braid. since Willow cut her hair short and no longer has two braids, I thought it'd be nice to instead give a braid to Amity. I also wanted to try and make it a two-colored braid, since I didn't really know how else to incorporate her brown hair color to the hairstyle (I didn't want to just go for the simple "make one side of the hair purple and the other brown").

I liked how the Grom crystals were added into this design, I thought it was a pretty nice callback to the episode where the whole Grom dance happened, and so I kept them in my redesign as well – putting them as a part of a headband.

the remaining changes are super minor – I made her pants slightly longer, since them being knee-height looked kinda weird to me, and changed her earrings from these big, black (and kinda ugly lol) triangles to the ones she wore in "Reaching Out", so there would be a bit more yellow in the design to match Amity's eyes.

Willow:

this one doesn't have that much changed to it. I kinda wanted to do something with Willow's hair, but in the end decided against it, since I think her short hair, while looking a bit too simular to Luz's debut hairstyle, is still pretty cute.

I really liked the gold glasses she got in season 2, and so I made her glasses here gold as well. not only because I like them better, but also to make it match with her yellow top.

I see that they tried to do this whole asymmetrical thing with her legs – one leg has a knee pad and the other doesn't, one leg has a sock and the other, again, doesn't – and I'm not against it, but the fact that Willow only has one sock just looks off to me. so I gave her her second sock back, but made the other one yellow, to still kinda keep the asymmetry (and to, again, add more yellow to the design, so it wouldn't just be her top and bracelets).

...also slightly changed the main color of her shorts, because that shade of green looked ugly to me.

Gus:

(this one has even less changes than Willow lol)

my man just straight up lost all his blues

if you go to the owl house wiki and open the page with Gus' designs, you'll see that all of them have some shades of either blue or teal, and occasionally green in them (with the exception of his Halloween costume, that became his season 3 outfit, which is mostly pink-red). and since illusion coven's color is light blue, it makes sense to add the colors of his coven to Gus's outfits. but in the epilogue bro's just covered in yellows and browns, with the only blue being his pants. so that's the only thing I changed – made his vest and glasses blue, to return at least some of his illusion magic's color to him.

the outfit itself looks alright, he looks a lot like a teacher, which is what he is by the time of the epilogue (though it is weird that, despite being 16, he looks more like he's in his mid 20s lmao). I'm not entirely sure why he's suddenly wearing glasses here though, since I don't remember him ever mentioning having eyesight problems or even wearing contacts before (but maybe he did mention it and I just don't remember, I dunno), but eh, whatever. he looks alright with those, so I didn't remove them. but yeah, apart from the lack of blues in his outfit, Gus looks the best out of the main 5.

Hunter:

(had to enlargen his png with a random ai, idk why the one on the wiki is like 5 pixels large, who tf made it so small lmao)

yeah, so, uh, the obvious question here... why does Hunter look like Caleb again?

wasn't his whole thing supposed to be how he's not just another Grimwalker? not just another copy of Caleb? not just Caleb? isn't that's why he decided to cut his hair, and specifically his Caleb-like fringe, to not look like him (and to simultaneously not look like Belos)? he even looks at himself in the mirror at one point in TTT, before he gets possessed by Belos, and says "I like who I am now" or something like that, I don't remember the exact quote.

and then Hunter not only gets his Caleb Hair™ back, after Belos possesses him, but he also gets Caleb's brown eyes after Flapjack brings him back to life, now making Hunter look EXACTLY like Caleb! which, correct me if I'm wrong, isn't this exactly what Belos wanted? a perfect copy of Caleb??

at first I thought that by the time of the epilogue he'd cut his hair again or style it differently, to not look like "Caleb 2: electric boogaloo", and so I just tolerated how he looked in FTF and WAD, thinking "eh, alright, he obviously won't cut his hair again anywhere in these episodes, everyone's busy with making Boiling Isles normal again, it'll probably be somewhere at the very end of the show, when everything's good again". and then, lo and behold – he did not, in fact, cut his hair, and he's still just Caleb™...

cool

ignoring his hair – the design itself looks nice. I especially like the addition of Abomination, Illusion and Plants patches he sewn onto his apron, and, unlike Luz's pants patches, these actually work pretty well with the whole look, plus it's nice to see him add small things that represent his friends to his outfit (only one of Luz's patches represented anyone, which was Amity with that Abomination patch, and then it's just two random pictures that don't really represent anyone)

the main thing I wanted to change was his hair, just like with Amity. judging by this concept art it does seem like they wanted to give Hunter different hair, to not make him look like Caleb 2.0. (dunno why they decided against it though, that was pretty dumb of them).

so I basically just took the first hairstyle here and slapped it onto Hunter. apart from that, the only things I changed were that I made his sneakers pink (since his Grimwalker eyes were pink and I kinda thought I'd bring a bit of that color back here) and added some accessories to his arms – a glove on one hand and bandages on the other. I couldn't give him two gloves, since the right one would cover the Flapjack tattoo, so instead I put some bandages from splinters there (inspired by the same concept art where I traced the hair from).

-----

and that's it.

again, I didn't do anything with the timeskip designs of Eda, Lilith and Vee, because I think they generally look okay and I don't really have any ideas on how I'd change them. as for every other character's new looks – I really don't care that much about them lol. Camila and Boscha look good, King barely changed, so he's pretty good too, and everyone else I barely even remember.

[moominvalley-state-of-mind]

Dunno how to find my og pinned post but whatever here's a new 'hi tumblr' post!

[This blog is not spoiler free, I'll try to put spoiler warnings]

[I should really make some sideblogs for separate things - rn best way to find shit is search, sorry]

Name: just my thingy/handle pls :]

(edit: or some part of it ig like mind or smth idk)

Age: minor

Fandoms not in any particular order:

moomin

hermitcraft ☆ (kinda - only watch like 4 hermits so I'm constantly waiting for people to upload and not much except for reblogs going on in this catagory)

professor layton

octonauts (including A&B) ☆

hilda

percy jackson universe

the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

gravity falls

animaniacs

dungeon meshi (rly just rb stuff)

my little pony (see above)

dropout (my parents watch it and I think it’s kinda funny so)

dog man!!!! (Litterally can't wait for 2025)

wander over yonder

peanuts (the comics & movies / specials n stuff)

the wild robot (book and a combonarion of the book & movie that will probobly stay forevor within my head)

life series!!!! (wild life is like the first one I've actually been able to watch on time :[) ☆

(will update)

☆ = currently in the brain space

I like getting asks & have it on of headcannons to talk about :]

where i post from /j

[I drew my pfp, it's hilda if anyone was wondering lol]

[and if any of my irl friends see this, no you didn't lol <3]

[hilacopter]

I'm surprised the g/t community stayed safe for me for as long as it did but yea now there's like a zine thing raising money for gaza which yea is always great on paper but how much money do you wanna bet they didn't put any effort into researching charities and are just giving their money to hamas. that and as much as I try to have thick skin seeing shit like this in fandom spaces (tho g/t isn't really a fandom I'd describe it as... a trope community?) is very much a trigger for me, since yk, I go to these things for escapism and seeing it kinda reminds me how "oh shit that's right, everyone wants me to kms". someone posted it in a g/t server I'm in even though we generally agree not to talk about politics? if I ask not to talk about i/p specifically bc it's triggering for me they'd probably just call me a whining zionist or smth, since israelis don't have the right to escapism actually and deserve to constantly be miserable (I've lost so many forms and spaces of escapism in the past few months it's insane and I genuinely don't know how much more I can take before I break completely). I blocked the tumblr account as soon as I saw it I'm hoping it maybe doesn't get that much traction but I'm mentally preparing to unfollow or block a lot of g/t blogs and maybe even delete my own g/t sideblog. I've been obsessed with g/t ever since I came out the womb and it's really the reason I'm on tumblr in the first place, I've let myself lose fandoms and friends but this is where I draw the line. I can't let the g/t community become unsafe for me, I'd be fucking devastated.

[lino-ppang]

—possible reasons why you're blocked by me and/or other writers | lino-nyangi

so yesterday i found out that i probably have well over 1.5k blogs blocked for not respecting my blog rules when interacting so i decided to share this guide. i'm posting it on my sideblog so that blogs that i have already blocked can also see this.

this is a bit of an exhaustive list. i don't think all writers have these rules, so i ordered them by priority. meaning from those who ALL writers mostly likely block for, to least.

• you're a default blog. meaning your blog looks anything like this:

creepy. looks like a bot— which is a common thing in tumblr. bots interacting with your content can risk getting your blog shadowbanned, which does so much damage to writers. i for one am not taking that risk.

how to fix it:

put a profile picture on, it can be anything. name your blog, don't leave it as "untitled". i will get to more points as i go.

• you don't have an age indicator anywhere on your blog.

me and other nsfw writers impose this rule because we do not want our content anywhere near minors. if you don't have your age or 18+ (if you're uncomfortable putting a specific number), we can't guess if you're of age or not. so we block just to be safe.

that being said, all nsfw works do have explicit disclaimers. most of my fics have a "smut/minors dni" and/or this before the cut:

still, ageless blogs continue to interact with it. which i think is rude tbh. please respect the rules set. i know this doesn't prevent minors completely from having access to nsfw content, but disclaimers and blocking ageless blogs are the most we as writers can do to make it less likely. the rest of the responsibility falls on the minors themselves to stay away from content that's not made for them.

how to fix it:

easy! put an age indicator on your bio. you can edit your bio by tapping the 🎨 icon in your profile. if you still can't get it to work. make a new post, type in your age and any other stuff you would like to say about yourself (who you stan, what you enjoy etc) then hit post. once it's posted, tap the three dots on the top left corner and then tap "pin post". that way this post is the first thing to appear on your blog and writers can easily access the information.

• you have an empty blog.

tumblr mainly works through reblogging content, likes don't really do anything. here is a very informative post by @tasteleeknow on why and how to reblog to support your favorite writers ♡ please make sure to read it.

an empty blog leaving silent likes on fics is not only creepy, but leaves the writer with mixed feelings. you read the fic, you enjoyed it, but didn't bother to reblog it. did they not enjoy it enough? what didn't they like about it? and more stupid questions can make their way to the writer's head. reassure them with a reblog!

how to fix it:

i'm not asking you to post anything. a lot of people have blogs just to browse around. but reblog the posts that you see and like. fill your blog with things you enjoy/agree with. gifs, quotes, shit posts, fics. use your blog.

that being said, blogs with one single post reblogged or that haven't been active for months/years also get blocked. you're obviously still on the platform if you leave a like on my post. so again, use your blog.

• you have posts reblogged on your blog, but none of them are fics AND/OR you only "like" fics.

personally, i also block blogs who consume fics but don't reblog them. if you have no writing reblogged, either from me or other writers, i probably don't vibe with you. i don't expect everyone to enjoy everything i put out, but surely you enjoy other fics, don't you?

i'm not asking for everyone to interact with my content, i'm asking the ones who read it, to show that they did.

if you're a spam liker, you're most likely getting blocked too. i don't mind empty likes here and there (and to be honest it's too much work, most writers get empty likes daily. just look at the like/reblog ratio on any fic and you'll understand). but if you go through 5+ of my posts in a short interval without reblogging any, you're getting blocked. it risks getting my blog shadowbanned and makes me uncomfortable.

how to fix it:

if you like a fic, please don't just tap the heart and move on. reblog it. it lets the writer know you enjoyed it better than a like does, because it helps the fic reach more people like you that might enjoy it.

if you like to keep fics you want to read in the liked tab, a better option would be to reblog them with hashtags like #to be read or #reading list etc. that way when you search up the hashtag in your blog you can find all the fics you're been wanting to read. it can get easily messy with likes, as it's essentially the same thing as hoarding instagram posts in "saved" or tweets in "bookmarks". separating them with tags is much more organized and practical.

if you have a sfw blog with minors following you and you don't want to share nsfw content there, it's totally fine. i once again refer you to the post linked above where jade explains how to open a sideblog for reblogging fics and using tags.

tumblr is not social media, or at least i don't consider it so. it's totally anonymous, so you don't have to worry about anyone judging you for reblogging that fic with a weird kink. nobody cares, we're all mad here.

please please please don't be a passive content consumer. give back to artists and writers who spend a lot of time and effort on their work.

• i simply don't vibe with you.

now this is the least likely reason that you could be blocked for by me. but if you don't check any of the boxes above, it's probably the case. tumblr is all about curating your experience and so blocking/unfollowing blogs/content you don't really want to see is encouraged. less stress, less drama.

there isn't really a way to fix this, i probably won't be unblocking blogs i blocked for this reason simply because i did it for the sake of my own peace of mind.

—how to be unblocked

you can get in touch with me here via ask or private messaging to ask to be unblocked. i do, of course, expect you to fix the things that you might've been blocked for, or else i don't have a reason to unblock you.

[you may have also noticed that i have anon ask option off on this blog, that's because i need to know your username in order to unblock you. other than that, i just simply don't want to receive anon asks on here.]

i know there is a small chance that this will only encourage silent readers to be silent and not interact at all to avoid being blocked, which is way worse. but i'm begging you, -and i shouldn't have to do it- to not be a silent reader.

i hope this post was informative enough for you to realize why me or any of your favorite writers that you can't find anymore have blocked you. please consider fixing these things about your blog. we don't like blocking people, if anything, we want our fics to be enjoyed by everyone (of age). but please respect etiquette around this hellsite.

thanks for reading, have a good day! ♡

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Hi Steph! I hope you're doing alright :)

I only now realised that Crowley suggested the rainstorm, because he says they'll seek shelter and then 'one fabulous kiss and we're good'. Like, he didn't understand how kisses work in the beginning of the season and in the end he still doesn't. It's so sad that he reached out like that at the wrong moment.. Like, in the book it literally says he's an optimist, so he must've held out some hope that that would fix everything and make Aziraphale realise 'they were made for each other' I'm in pain.

(Also: Did you see how after Aziraphale takes the car, not only does it change (and follow him like a puppy), but Shax can't materialise in it? She waits in the door and asks him to invite her. As if it was his property. ...Our car indeed xD Crowley honestly must have accepted that in his heart. Like isn't that sweet.)

Also I love your blog so much. Honestly, I read pretty much every post <3 If I could send asks on my sideblog (sb in real life knows my main and I'm not mixing fandom and rl), I totally would.

Hey Nonny!!

AHHH Thank you so much for your kind words!! I'm glad you enjoy my blog and your time here, and it means the world to me that you read all of my posts! LOL I feel ya on the sideblog thing, I wish Tumblr let you switch between them for asks.

YEAH, the rain thing still fucks me up, because he is, at heart, a romantic and (as you said) an optimist, so he genuinely thought the kiss would fix everything. I also think he thinks the canopy is romantic because it's a core memory for him as the first kind gesture Aziraphale did for him after his Fall, after the First Rain. AND I genuinely believe it's his wish as well, to be caught in the rain under a canopy with Aziraphale to recreate their kind gesture to each other... I think this BECAUSE one of the first promo photos for S2 was the two of them, under an umbrella (canopy) in the rain, leaning into each other. It's not just Nina's deepest desire, it's Crowley's as well. Only this time, he wants them looking into each other's eyes. I think he thinks that was the missing element that kept them from VaVooming, so yeah, he's craving that deeply.

So it is very sad that he thinks the kiss will solve all their problems, when really, they NEED to communicate. They're NOT seeing each other properly, and they haven't all season during the modern scenes. They talk around each other, and avoid things, but never discuss things, really. And Honestly, Crowley had the right idea, but SHIT-ASS timing. They were both angry, hurt, and over-emotional after everything, and Aziraphale was already being manipulated at that point to where he fears Crowley and himself being retaliated against for loving each other (remember, Azzie DOESN'T know why Gabe was cast out; from his perspective, it was because he fell in love with a demon). And Crowley, well, his ridiculous devotion to protect Azzie from all the bad in the world is his downfall, and why Aziraphale is in the mess he's in now. GUH, I need them to finally talk.

The WHOLE SCENE was SO deliciously beautiful in a very angsty way, I loved it so much.

And regarding the car... OMG I DIDN'T even notice that about Shax!! You're ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. The car became a space where Aziraphale needs to allow someone into Crowley's heart it. So YEAH, shit you're right! That said, Crowley loves Azzie so much, it's very sweet that the Bentley is essentially a manifestation of his feelings for Azzie.

Thank you again for your ask, and I hope you continue to enjoy your time here!! <3 <3

[yallemagne]

This year, I'm not doing Dr*cula D*ily

Or any other substack but DD is the biggest. I have numerous reasons for this decision that none of y'all are gonna particularly care for, but ya know, just so we got our expectations in order: I'm not gonna participate in DD this year (maybe never again), I'm probably not gonna reblog many posts related to it (doing so would be counterintuitive), but I am holding myself to finishing Orice (at LEAST the base fic).

Now, why?

TL;DR: Mental health crisis brought on by internet harassment and overprioritizing social media. It's not fun anymore, folks.

DD just... it completely ruined the novel for me.

It was a nice phenomenon, but it took a wrecking ball to my mental health and self-worth. Now, I'm not saying DD's creator personally did something to spite me (or maybe I am, he knows what he did /j), but this whole thing? It wasn't good for me. It was never good. It was sometimes fun, but most of the time it made me want to end it because of thumblr notes.

That's fucking stupid. My life is not worth internet validation. My art is not worthless just because my numbers are not as big as the biggest big shots in the fandom. I'm not a horrible person when other people handle personal disagreements regarding headcanon with defaming rumours and impersonation. But hell! My view of reality was horribly skewed.

A while back, I unfollowed all the gothlit tags I previously followed because 1) Some people (active and popular members of the fandom, mind you, not bots or trolls) were posting honest-to-god name-dropping harassment in the tag because "it's a popular tag so more people will see my callout post" and 2) I reached a point where seeing anything related to the novel on my dash just set me off. It didn't even need to be drama-related anymore. Mentions of the characters, mentions of popular AUs, just the very content of this book became triggering to me, and I really didn't miss the content when it was gone, as sad as that is.

And the kicker? I've come to realize that I probably dislike more things about the novel than I actually like about it. Not only is it tied to some of my darkest moments in recent memory, but it's also just... a book with many flaws that I could go on and on and on about. Sometimes, it straight-up made me furious, like seething mad, and I think I'd rather just be happy. But even when I would try to channel that energy into being happy, I always felt I had to over-clarify or else I’d get bombarded with anonymous messages. If you’ve seen any of my posts from during that time… chances are there is a passive aggressive “btw people can have opposing opinions from you about an old book and it doesn’t give you leave to stone them” or several tags of “#this is a joke #a jooooooke #for the love of god #if y’all don’t stop”. I bet it was as annoying for y’all as it was for me.

P.S. Mutuals/friends, do not worry. Y'all keep doing y'all. I can and will block tags if seeing your posts triggers me. So, I suppose my only request is to properly tag, but I've been saying that from the very start.

I just want to move on to other things.

I took a break for Lent. I needed it terribly. And... not gonna lie? I almost didn't want to return. I never got an itching to just log on and "check in". I very successfully avoided tumb altogether. I came back because "I gotta come back eventually" and also like, this is my main hub where I update when I've written a fic, and ya know... I'm not gonna let toxic fandom bs rule my shit.

During my break, I got back into gaming. More specifically, I started playing Hades again. And listening to Epic the Musical. Aaaand boyyy did that bring me back to my Greek mythology phase. I have a Greek mythos/Hades sideblog btw: @areopagusimp. It's cringe, if you can't tell by the blog name.

Back when I was into Hades game and general Greek mythos, my expectations were so much smaller, but yet, my goals and will to create seemed so much bigger. I made art that no one gave a single solitary shit about (except for my friend), but I was happy. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses, but... even if I wasn't as happy then as I remember being... haha at least I wasn't receiving threats and insults in my inbox back then :))). That was the most fun thing about the gothlit fandom. I hope every single chickenhearted angry anon is proud of their behaviour.

But yeah, whatever I end up doing, I’m striving to not let it run me into the ground.

But... What do I do now?

I have so many WIPs (art and writing) for the novel, and it's very disappointing that I didn't get to finish them before it all turned sour. Hopefully, I can still finish them, it just won't be with the same distress I worked with before. Hopefully, I can post that stuff and fully manage my expectations, not crash and burn when only a few people like it. Because hell! A few people liking my stuff? That's amazing, really. I shouldn't take that for granted. At the same time, I'm setting a boundary for myself. Placing my self-worth into the hands of people who I don't know, who don't know me, and who aren't even paying for the art? I need to stop that. Who the hell is that gonna serve? Absolutely no one.

My number one goal is to finish Orice. It is somehow untouched by my aversion to the novel; it is my safe space. I want to honour it and honour the longtime readers who have stuck with me. It's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be worth it for me.

This feels attention-seeking, and it kinda is. I'm not tagging the main subject and I'm not allowing reblogs because I want this to stay isolated (and hopefully prevent backlash/misunderstandings), but ya know, no matter how much I try to keep this small, I'm still posting it online. But I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. I don't really owe everyone an explanation, but I want there to be one for my own sake... also it's much easier to generalize and make a post than contact each of my friends/mutuals on here and unload stuff onto them that I'm not sure is too personal or not.

For those of you who are reading: I love y'all. I love the good people I've met through all this mess. I want to keep the good apples, not throw out the whole harvest, alright? Dunno how much you'll care for my art when the subject is different, but... eh. If y'all are willing to try?

[theogonies]

too tired to properly format this but here are my haikyuu social media headcanons. if you even care.

you might think that hinata is a tiktok guy but no. he doesn't sit still long enough to scroll. (he does have a tiktok but most of his videos are just himself trying on filters. he knows the draft function exists but doesn't care enough to use it.) snapchat is more his speed, quick and easy way to keep up with his friends. also youtube. is volleyball youtube a thing? idk but i think he's an ipad baby who watches videos while he eats

nishinoya on the other hand? nishinoya is on tiktok. nishinoya is a tiktok fiend. he films dance trends with tanaka now and then (i'll let you guess which of them is more committed) but mostly he's a funnyguy. only the most elaborate of bits. gets bored of socials easily and goes long bursts of time without posting anything, but people like his energy enough that he keeps a pretty consistent audience anyway.

oikawa has an instagram technically but he only posts once every few months at most (cba) and his entire grid is videos of himself jojo posing. they're all super grainy and kageyama is tagged in a few (he has yet to acknowledge this in any way btw). tons of followers in spite of all this.

tsukishima is the king of twitter. don't think i need to explain this one.

yamaguchi has a youtube channel. too busy to post often but every now and then he'll roll out some insanely thoughtful and heartfelt video essays on movies and games n stuff he likes. pretty good editing skills too. tsukishima is his biggest hype man behind the scenes, helps edit his scripts and stuff.

kenma tells people he doesn't use social media but in truth he's an active tumblr girlie. not one of those normal twitter refugee joke-posters either. ao3 reader self-confessed fujoshi. five million different sideblogs and an impeccably organized tagging system. kuroo is the only irl allowed to follow him (kuroo does not care). in lots of discord servers too but only actually chats in a few

kageyama is a redditor. he likes that it doesn't clog his feed with stuff he's not interested in. mostly a lurker on sports subs but he's got a decent amount of karma because he can't let things lie when he sees a stupid question/comment, he's got to leave a terse reply and reddit eats that shit up. somehow ended up as a moderator for a big gaming sub, didn't ask for it and doesn't know why but he takes his job very seriously.

bokuto spends 85% of his screentime on pinterest

okthatsallthanksbye

[mqfx]

i think i would need to see mqfx in an entirely different light before i would believe they would enjoy being humiliated. possibly because its also just not my thing although i have thought about what must be appealing about it (the joy, the release of understanding that someone sees you as imperfect but is still interested in a relationship with you? the realization that even if someone does believe these things they're saying they still want to at the very least have sex? feel free to correct me if this isnt actually the appeal ive just come to this conclusion on my own)

ANYWAY. i think i'd have to view their squabbling in an entirely different light, like one or both of them doesn't have their heart really in it and are keeping up their side of the argument for pride's sake or! maybe everyday life behaviors have absolutely no connection whatsoever to what one enjoys sexually (<- totally possible, what do i know)

tldr im on your side the fighting might be homoerotic but perhaps not in that flavor exactly

good morning anon <3 i'm awake now (kinda) and my lawyer can't do shit to meeeeeee so let's talk about it

ok for everyone who didn't see the post i deleted, the tldr of what i said was: "i don't think any of the xianle 4 would be into degradation. hc bc he'd kill himself before being mean to xl, xl bc he wouldn't keep a straight face, and mq/fx would literally just argue. on the other hand i think if either mq or fx were somehow sincere enough to tell the other person "you are good" they'd finish too fast (crass! my lawyer disapproved!!) so. can't praise each other bc they'd both like it too much, can't insult each other bc then they'd have to pause sex for a fistfight break. sad!" <- paraphrasing but it was funnier last night

i'm not qualified to address the first thing bc i didn't take kink studies in college (we DID have one, hashtag liberal arts!! but i was busy doing REAL work pestering my old man and drinking in stats class) but that's probably true at least for some people bc everyone always has a different reason for these things. it's subversive, it's pain under control in a safe environment, it's reaffirming, it's addressing trauma, sometimes even self harm so watch out! (sex, like any action, can be detrimental if you're not careful, but that is not the action's fault)

the second thing i CAN address (points to my nametag) SO: i don't think either mq or fx are the type to do anything by halves they're both passionate (fx obviously, mq within the many layers of his artichoke* heart) so i do think every argument they have is real and not just for pride's sake. if either of them didn't wanna argue they just wouldn't and the other guy would be like "um......what's wrong w u 🤨 (concern disguised as suspicion)"

i Wouldn't say that daily life has no connection at all to kinks but that's a discussion i'm not having on my sideblog (tldr: these european fuckos have been arguing about sublimation** and libido longer than i've been alive. Scholar Charlie assumes that whatever doesn't get sublimated finds its way into one's sex life and vice versa but don't quote me on thiiiiiisss i should've taken that damn class fr)

as a sidenote: what we might find hot is not necessarily what the characters might find hot. not to lend personhood to the narrative devices (especially when fanfiction is literally the "play with them like paper dolls" genre of writing) but it's an important distinction to make as readers and writers. like do i think for example that mq's emotional repression and torment is hot? very. do you think He's enjoying it??? jury's out (though with melancholic types one Must assume they derive some relief, even if harmful, from flagellation)

back to the important matter of mqfx's hypothetical sex life: in canon they insult each other in equal measure and there's no one in that situation who is actively/consistently made to feel lower than the other (whether they actually do is incidental). it's not that their squabbles Wouldn't make it to the bed but it simply doesn't count as degradation. argument (equal) ≠ degradation (power dynamic). am i saying it's impossible for them to have ANY S/M thing going on?? also no bc as mentioned before i think mq views Everything as a power struggle, but fx also strikes me as the type of guy who would really really like getting called good boy but he doesn't know this about himself. for that matter mq would probably like some praise too he's just way more roundabout with it

this is aaaaaaallllll a very convoluted way of saying "yes the fighting is still homoerotic, not on the basis of unequal standing but because they're equals. i don't think they specifically find the insult aspect of fighting hot, and in fact some mutual kindess would be nice. would they do it that way though? idk"

ok gotta get ready for smth this took me 2 hours to think. byeeeee

*here i got distracted looking for artichoke facts bc i saw on my gramma's cooking show that it's basically a thistle and it's got a spiny center you gotta scoop out before eating. anyway it's from the mediterranean! so don't use it in canon-compliant fic lol

**death in venice is in that wiki article :( why did my ex-mutual leave meeeeeeeee (<- divorced)

[unforth]

Alright instead of rageposting about white people perpetuating racism problems in cnovel/cdrama fandoms I've channeled my feels into cleaning up some shit I've been doing a bad job at maintaining and feeling horribly guilty about for months or even years. This is probably a healthier use of my current "fuck it." So, for reference, I've:

deleted the kink meme part of the DMBJ kink meme on AO3. This means that the prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone (I'm sorry I didn't give people time to save their prompts, but the reason I didn't do this months ago was that it had many steps and I was being useless about DOING those steps and as I said in the intro paragraph, I'm now at "fuck it" and like. if I can't do it "the right way" I'm today just breaking and doing it "the wrong way" and here we are). The collection and the ten stories in it still exists and anonymity and such are still maintained for people who wanted it, but new prompts and new fills cannot be submitted.

ditto the above for the kink meme part of the SPN kink meme on AO3. The prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone. I also removed myself administrating the Tumblr, though the other two people involved (fpwoper and envydean) do still have access. I realized belatedly that I really should have offered to just leave and let them have it but, again, today is apparently "fuck it" day which means I'm not thinking through the ramifications of my actions which has resulted in some bad fandom citizenry behavior on my part, and again, I truly do apologize. (I've offered to help them reconstruct the challenge part if either of them wants to run it; fpwoper has already said no, I'll see what envydean says and I'll apologize profusely even more and do what I can do fix things if envydean DOES want to take over and make it active again). The collection and the stories written for it still exist; that's about 40 works. Thanks to everyone who participated.

I left @saawek's Star of Solitude event, which I helped run a year and a half ago. Saawek hasn't really been active on Tumblr, but hun if you see this it's nothing at all about you or TGCF I'm just pulling back from things that even seeing them in my blog list has been causing me stress on the daily.

I formally announced that I'll be consolidating @zhenhunartreblogs and @dmbjartreblogs in @cnovelartreblogs, and I've posted to that effect in all three blogs. If you want Zhenhun/Guardian and DMBJ art content from my sideblogs, unfollow the old blogs and follow at cnovelartreblogs, and just black list fandoms you're not interested in - that's the whole reason I tag everything.

I deleted another side blog I haven't been using.

I'm considering deleting @memesforwriters, which I only update maybe once a month, and honestly just typing all this up has I think tipped me over into "fuck it" and I'm going to delete that too. I expect I'll instead reblog relevant memes to the @duckprintspress account, since I have to maintain that regardless.

My last remaining completely inactive Tumblr sideblog is where I'd posted on translated chapter the 2ha manhua. I really would like to be doing more work like that, though hell if I know when I'll have time; I renamed that blog to @unforthfantranslations, and I have vague hopes to translate more of 2ha and to tackle Lie Huo Jiao Chou (which I've never read any version of and would like to). But tbh I probably won't manage any progress on any of that until the fall.

Nothing like a pile of grief to make me say "I'm done feeling guilty about this stuff, like is too short, fuck it I'm gonna make these changes I've been waffling about for ages."

P. S. I opened another window to check how exactly I'd renamed the translation blog and while I had it opened I decided on a compromise with memesforwriters, which is that I'm exporting it, and THEN I'll delete it. And I DMed the Destiel Harlequin mods that I'm done and think we should shut it down. And I spotted a couple Discord servers I'm going to leave.

So yeah. that's the mood today in a (rather large and overly wordy) nutshell.

Apparently when I said yesterday that I'd be quiet, I failed to take into account how I ACTUALLY process grief. In my defense, this is only the...fourth?...time someone I really care about has died in my entire life. (counts of...Arthur, Gil, my grandfather, yeah that's three...of course other people I've cared about have died but no one who I loved and who I felt "I wish I had more time with this person." Like...I wish I'd had more time with Belle but I didn't love her...yeah I'm just babbling now I'm sorry I'm like this today.)

ETA: okay I just left like 6 Discord servers I haven't been using, too. There's only one I'm still like "maybe I shouldn't..." but I know a lot of people in that server and if I really want back in I can ask for invite.

[cosmicdenro]

hi, so, i'm not sure how long ago you got shadowbanned but if it's been a while with no help from staff i'd like to give some advice i think more people should be aware of?

i have a sideblog that was shadowbanned at least from october 27th of last year (maybe earlier, i had been on hiatus and it took me some time to notice) up until february 18th this year. almost 4 months of begging for help through the standard support system and the only reply i ever got was to tell me there was a glitch on their end that they fixed even though they clearly didn't. the only way i could get un-shadowbanned was when i made a post on r/tumblracctterminated on reddit. someone from support checks it to help people who are having account issues and they restored my account a day and a half after i posted. so if you can't seem to get help from support it might be a good idea to try that.

oh shit this seems pretty handy, thank you!! i'll def see to post something on that reddit if tumblr doesn't help me out in another week or two!

[sansloii]

@hhemeraa | send me a number

10. anons

Imma be real honest--i don't use anon much anymore. anything i send, i usually just... send as is. mostly because tumblr is weird and will eat things without explanation so it makes more sense to not use anon so i have the option of following up and be like "hey, i sent you an ask. did tumblr eat it?" if i need to. if you send it on anon... kinda defeats the purpose of anon if you have to ask about it ( thus revealing yourself ). i'm also of the belief that if i send something to you, i want you to know it was me :) it's probably very obvious anyway but still.

i don't mind getting anons though! sometimes, stuff has to be sent through anon ( such as asks from rp sideblogs and such ) so i keep it on for myself purely 'cause of that.

19. smut

when i started this blog waaay back in... 2016/2017 (it's one of those years) i was not at all confident in my ability to write it at all. it was one of those things where i was like "oh i can't write it well and it's gonna be on the dash and everyone will see it and judge me" or some shit like that. i didn't even write it on skype ( which i still had at the time ) or discord ( i think i had one in 2016 but barely used it ) and just kinda like... alluded to the fact that some spicy things had happen.

fast forward a couple years and meeting my lovely, lovely friends on this hellsite and now I don't care as much about the insecurities i had in the beginning because i realized we are all struggling with the same things. if it's not a generalized "what the fuck is anatomy?", it's "how many ways can i describe this body part that doesn't make me want to toss my laptop out a window" or "did i write that already? lemme go back and see if i did." or "i don't have enough adjectives in my vocabulary or mental brain power behind my eyes to intricately write muse a gave muse b a sloppy toppy."

we're all struggling. we're all trying to make our muses sexy. it's okay. we can struggle together!

i can totally understand if someone is not comfortable with writing it for a myriad of reasons and honestly, more power to you. do what makes you comfortable and i honestly don't care if someone does or doesn't write it. or chooses to just write it in dms with specific people. if that's more your speed, then fly down that highway.

29. blocking

as someone who is a former "blocking is mean. what if i hurt their feelings? i can just ignore it" type of person, i will tell you that the block button is your best friend. some of the weirdest/worst people i have ever met have come from this site and after being here for just under a decade and going from one blog to another and just... settling here? i have no patience for nonsense that really gets on my nerves. i am here to mow ass and eat hay and if you disturb that, you need to go

that isn't to say that i use it liberally or that my block list is a mile long, though. it's more that i know the block button is a tool the site provides for you in order not see anyone you don't want to see or don't want to have in your space. and so, i am going to use that tool when i see fit and so should you. i have people i don't like and don't want interacting with my posts. i'm sure someone somewhere doesn't like me and doesn't want me interacting with their posts. block button fixes all that.

i also use blacklists to reinforce this little wall i have up so me? I am a happy camper here. i have my bubble, my space, and i'm content with that.

the only time i can say where it really sucks is when... someone i'm actively talking to and thinking i'm getting along with blocks me. it hurts and i get a little sad about it... but again, they're well within their right to do that. whatever is going on in their head and caused that, however, is another complicated story that's between them and god unless they wanna talk about it.