#shit gotta tag the names too

[sinnamonpork]

bnha is really out here furthering the blonde x brunette agenda:

special mention for my babies because i can't just leave out my favorite blonde and im not really sure what shouto even is:

[dxxtruction]

Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

[fantasykiri5]

Mass attack from the end of Artfight this year that I didn’t get a chance to actually upload to the site due to traffic, I had been waiting for a mod response on whether or not there was a way to get it up to post it here, and now I finally am! This took me the latter two weeks of the fight and I finished it an hour before the fight ended! The image file was actually even too large for tumblr so I had to shrink it in order to post, it’s so massive!

Even though it’s disappointing that I couldn’t upload it as an actual attack (28 characters, mostly fullbodies, with a full scene bg and at least partial shading, if not technically full would have been SO many points, gah!) it was still so fun to make and I learned a lot in doing so!

I can’t wait for next year’s fight!

Tag list (and artfight usernames of those not on tumblr) under the cut:

@como-draws

@alien-bottle

@coleheinous

@lexezombie

@gizmo-parade

@CleoRockstar

@irlmumrik

@spacey-jazz

@sukaridragon

@galacticdani

@oufrelou

@8ontheclock

Non-tumblr users:

SmolderingMoss on artfight

AngelAndTerry on artfight

sealdeer on artfight

MangoTea on artfight

SirPiwch on artfight

[kasper7489]

I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)

But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'

Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!

[oceanwithouthermoon]

OKAY im posting this crappy wip kubosai one-shot because ive been lagging severely on writing... sorry if its cringe, its completely unedited rn</3

this is roughly 1800 words.. the actual wip is about 4000 LOL but i skipped a couple parts so this is about half the wip i guess..

Kusuo was sitting at his desk with his legs curled to his chest, glaring at nothing, when his phone dinged next to him. Already not in the best mood, he sneered as his eyes snapped over to the device. The noise had disturbed one of his favorite pastimes; being moody for no reason and doing nothing, and the bright light was equally disturbing. When he looked over, it also shone the time as "1:36am" which ruined his blissful unawareness of how long he'd been brooding. His unusually accurate internal clock could have told him that, really, but Kusuo would never pass up an opportunity to be mad about something stupid.

His eyes softened significantly when he caught sight of what the notification actually was. A text from contact name "Kuboyasu Aren" with no contact picture. Yeah, that was how Kusuo kept all his contacts. Super boring and super normal.

He clenched his teeth, trying to bring his anger from before back after realizing how much and how easily his mood lifted just reading his classmate's name.

His phone had gone back to a black screen before Kusuo could read the actual contents of the message, so he begrudgingly unfurled himself from his position with a heavy sigh. He planted his feet back on the floor just a bit too aggressively and swiped up his phone as he stomped over to his bed to flop himself down on it.

When he finally turned his phone back on, the notification read “3m ago” and he clicked on it.

The message read, “hey princess when u wake up do u wanna hangout ??!? could i come overrr tomorrow please”

Annoying lack and misuse of punctuation, but Kusuo has learned that this tends to be the norm in texting, especially with other teenagers. In all fairness, the way Kusuo texts isn't very conventional either. He made fun of Toritsuka’s severe overuse of emojis once, and then immediately got ganged up on by all of the self proclaimed ‘PK psychickers’ because he tends to overuse emoticons in the same way. He doesn't know how else to express himself over text, alright? He learned to text only from his mom, Akechi, and Aiura and this is just how it turned out.

And for your information, the stupid princess pet name was just some silly thing Kuboyasu had gotten in the habit of doing lately. Trust Kusuo when he says it's much more embarrassing when he says it out loud, especially at school, than when he texts it, though knowing that his name in Kuboyasu’s contacts was “My Princess :)” was probably even worse.

Anyway, Kuboyasu had clearly made the assumption that Kusuo would be sleeping at this hour. Well, usually he would be. Kusuo LOVES getting his sleep in, but he just so happened to have taken a very long nap earlier that day, so he had a late dinner, and subsequently a late dessert. So, his usually abnormally fast metabolism hadn't quite been rid of all the sugar and caffeine he'd consumed not long ago. A series of unfortunate events, really, which culminated in him not being tired enough to sleep yet. At least he got to get in his usual ‘angrily staring at nothing for no reason’ time that he accidentally skipped because of his nap, although that did just get interrupted too.

So finally, he responded to Kuboyasu with, “I'm awake. (-.-;) Sure, I guess.”

Kuboyasu read the message and began typing unnervingly quickly after it was sent. “really ?!?!? also y r u awake lol i thought u would be asleep hours ago”

The poor guy probably wasn't expecting him to say yes immediately. Kusuo usually would argue about it for a bit before giving in to the teasing and pleading of his self proclaimed friends. It was way too late (/early) to play that game right now though, he knew he would just say yes in the end anyway. It had nothing to do with him actually wanting to see the dumb former punk who he had been unusually close with lately.

The taller boy just GOT him in a way other people never did. His undying loyalty and honesty was a refreshing contrast from many of the other people the psychic was often forced to be around. Loyal, honest, strong, romantic, protective. Not that those last few things affected the way he interacted with Kusuo or anything…

Kusuo replied again, “Yes. And I usually would be, but… too much caffeine. (￣^￣)”

Another quick response, “lol thats totally something u would do.. since ur up, r u down to call right now ?”

“To call? It's almost 2am. ಠ_ಠ Why are YOU awake anyway?”

“lol i know i know but im so bored… i just cant sleep.. we can be quiet on the call, but id like to hear ur voice right now :)”

Good grief, ew. How disgusting. “Hm… okay. ∩(｡-_-｡)∩”

(Don't you dare ask Kusuo why his internal monologue is so different from what he actually replies with. It's definitely not because he's an unreliable narrator who doesn't want to admit to himself or anyone that he actually wants to talk to a boy. Why would that be the case? Don't be dumb.)

Kusuo forgot to turn his ringer off before Kuboyasu could call him, so despite entirely expecting the phone call, the loud ringing startled him into dropping his phone on his face. How embarrassing, all-powerful psychic drops his phone on his face at almost 2am.

He scrambled to pick it back up and answer it so that the noise wouldn't wake up his parents. It would be really easy for him to just lull them back to sleep with his telepathy the second they wake up, but it would be inconvenient and his dad might complain in the morning. About either remembering waking up or just about not getting a good night’s sleep.

He finally clicked the answer button, luckily before his parents could wake up, and held back a sigh as he held the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, princess!” Kuboyasu was speaking in a whisper yell, probably also a room away from his sleeping parents.

“Hello.” He tried to speak in a way that wouldn't give away the fact that he was recovering from a smack to the face. Phone calls were a bit awkward for Kusuo, since microphones didn't pick up on his telepathy so he had to use his actual voice to speak over the phone. He always just hoped people wouldn't notice the extra rasp to his voice, but the late hour might work in his favor in this situation.

“So what have you been up to?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Up at 2 am and you're just sitting there, doing nothing?”

“Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing. What else is there to do at 2am?”

“Well, I've been making the most of MY time, personally.”

“And how have you been doing that, exactly?”

“Thinkin’ about you.”

“...”

“...”

“... *snort*” Okay, how could that NOT make him laugh? He took the phone slightly away from his face and laughed into his hand.

“What?? It's true!” The idiot couldn't hold back his laughter either.

“Yeah, yeah, okay… whatever, you're such a pain…”

“Yeah? Am I?”

“Yes.”

“And yet, you're here talking to me at 2 am just because I asked you to? Admit it, you love it.”

“Tch. You really need to get over yourself, you know that?”

“Well. Humor me for a bit longer, will you?”

“You're desperate.”

“For you.”

Kusuo muttered into his hand, “Oh my god.”

“I wish I could see your face right now, I know you're blushing.”

“Yeah, right. Not like you can prove that.”

“You want me to?”

“What do you mean?”

“You want me to come over there and check?”

Kusuo could hear the smirk in Kuboyasu’s voice. The jerk knew Kusuo couldn't say no to him. They both knew this game. Kusuo would deny him just for show, even though they both know he wants to say yes, and Kuboyasu would tease the truth out of him. Well, fine. Kusuo could play this game.

“You want to sneak out of your house and into mine at 2am just so you can check how successful your teasing is?”

“Mhm. Not just that, I would do anything to see my pretty princess’ face right now. I'm bored, you're bored, the only solution is for the knight to rescue the princess from this ailment, obviously.”

“You're an idiot.”

“You want to see me, I know it.” And he did. Kusuo could hear shuffling over the phone. That asshole was probably already putting his shoes on, knowing Kusuo would say yes. “What, you scared to prove me right? You don't want me to see your pretty pink face right now?”

… Kuboyasu was good at this game. He knows that husky voice is fucking irresistible. To Kusuo, at least. “... Okay, okay. Only so I can prove you WRONG.”

He knew Kuboyasu was smiling, but then the mood settled a bit. “You serious, Saiki? I know I'm messing with you, but I won't pressure you if you don't wanna sneak me in. I mean, that's kinda a lot to ask now that I'm thinkin’ about it. I really wanna see you, but I wouldn't make you do that.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up, I've already made up my mind. Are YOU sure? You realize how late and dark it is, yeah? You can't just stroll the streets at 2 am, you're gonna get hurt.”

“Awee, you worried about me, princess? No need, your knight in shining armor can protect himself just fine.”

"... Fine. Just stay on the phone with me."

"Hm? While I walk?"

He figured Kuboyasu wouldn't want to have a conversation over the phone in favor of paying attention to his surroundings, but... Kusuo couldn't help but be nervous about his friend's safety at this hour. He just wanted to make sure he was fine the whole walk.

"We don't have to talk, just... stay on the phone with me..."

Kuboyasu snorted. "What, you gonna miss me in those, what, ten whole minutes?"

Kusuo scoffed quietly. "Don't be so full of yourself. I'm just making sure you don't trip and fall or something at 2am on the way to my house. Wouldn't want the blame to fall back on me." He somehow still managed to convey snark in his almost monotone voice despite his whisper.

Kuboyasu chuckled softly, as he snarked back teasingly, "You know I can take care of myself. Can't believe you're still worried about me~."

Kusuo did know that. It didn't change anything. And he WASN'T worried, he just knew that his various nuisances tended to get into trouble when he wasn't there to monitor them. He was always getting them out of trouble even in broad daylight, so there was absolutely no reason to think that walking alone in the middle of the night would prove to be an exception.

"Just shut up and don't hang up, alright?"

He heard the quiet creak of a door closing and shutting, barely drowning out Kuboyasu’s attempt at muffling his laughter. "Alright, sweet boy. I'm right here."

-

EWWWW CRINGEE EW THEY HAVE COOTIES

[knotst3r1l3]

curse these wretched organs vro what the Fuck man !!!!!!!

[hypixeluhc]

Your feelings have been living for a millennium.

BONUS !!! he eated the buttered fly.

[69liesleft]

ダミアン

[snackugaki]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

someone fucked up and led me into their backrooms which is a long preface to say that this has resulted in having a goddamn

TMNT x Gargoyles x Ghostwriter x Spiderman

fucking mega-fuck-my-carpal-tunnel-i-guess crossover comic one shot and there's vaguely an idea of an antagonist to thwart.

...but mostly I wanted to draw them arguing which bodega has the best chopped cheese and for Donnie, Lex, and Ghoswriter to be chatting over ICQ on their li'l Compaqs and IBMs

let my brainguts rest, i beg on my knees

[chevaliermalfets]

changing my internet name, but mutuals/anyone I've already talked to who knows my irl name can keep using that. trying out xena for now under the philosophy of 'you can do whatever you want forever' but I might change it later

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[butchjesus]

I just realized I have two irish vampire characters and I've never drawn them together...... I must amend this

[ssspringroll]

having a blog i constantly liveblog wips onto is a blessing. i could NOT find my cas lighting wip, couldnt remember what it was called. checked my blog to see what date i was posting about it. sorted my files by date edited. found it in 2 seconds. only file from that day.

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Blindfolded for the whump bingo card!

- @another-whump-sideblog

Spirals and Solitaire

Synopsis: After her capture by the heroes, Wrenna's blindfolded locked in a cell 24/7. It's lonely, so lonely, but her only friend is determined to help her, no matter what side she's on.

Content: Villain whump, hero caretaker, supervillain whumper (mentioned), solitary confinement, captivity whump, emotional/psychological whump, so much angst, also like a very, very heavy depiction of depression self loathing and suicidal ideation, happy ending though

Tagging: @whump-queen @whump-in-the-closet @soheavyaburden @turn-the-tables-on-them (thought you guys might like to read it :O)

---

Day One

Wrenna lowered her head as if she were trying to avert her eyes from her nemesis. “I hate you, you know that?"

Eris could only laugh. “Do you really?” Wrenna's voice was emotionless, and from what she could see of Wrenna's face, her expression was the same. Eris could tell that there was no true malice behind her words. “Or are you only saying that because you’re supposed to?”

Wrenna tensed, cuffed hands folding into fists. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“It’s just food for thought,” Eris replied with a gentle smile. She leaned closer, resting her arms on the table. “I don’t have anything to do today, so why don’t we chat for a bit?”

“I’m not talking,” Wrenna stated, monotone. “You can’t tie me up and strap this on my face—“ She gestured towards the blindfold she was wearing—“and expect me to agree to a friendly little chat.”

Eris shot her a sympathetic look, forgetting that Wrenna couldn't see it. “Hey, I’m sorry about that, but it’s standard safety procedures. You’re going to ah—have to prove that you aren’t dangerous, but once you do that, they’ll take the blindfold off!”

Wrenna flinched back. “Is that what you want from me…?”

“I don’t—I don’t want anything from you, in particular.” Eris spoke in a measured tone, words carefully chosen.

Wrenna frowned and said nothing.

Eris reached out an arm and gingerly intertwined her fingers with Wrenna's. Wrenna flinched at first, and Eris almost drew back, but Wrenna grasped her hand tightly at the last second. Eris smiled, small but genuine.

“Let’s forget about the whole heroes and villains thing for a moment, okay? You’re just a person. And I can see that you’ve been hurt… so I just want to help you. And maybe we can be friends?” Eris’s voice was hopeful.

Wrenna tilted her head. She hesitated before replying in a low whisper. “I guess I’ll humor you for a little bit.”

Day Eleven

Soft ticking reverberated around the cell. For some goddamn reason, there was a clock in here somewhere. Not that it mattered. She couldn't see it anyways.

God, what she'd give to see a clock.

She wished for a lot of things, but right now, she wished for this the most. Honestly, she just wanted to know how much time had passed. Life was always lonely and terrifying, but now it was boring too.

At the very least, she'd like to be able to count the hours she'd spent in this cell.

She was lying on the floor, and she wondered what the ceiling looked like. Her vision was entirely obscured by jet-black cloth. Getting around was awkward now, but it wasn't like she was going anywhere. The cell was maybe a few paces wide, from what she could tell.

But the worst part—the part that made Wrenna want to hide under the bed or scream and rip through everything and everyone—was that the blindfold stopped her from using her telekinesis. It was fucking stupid—just a piece of fabric that she couldn't get off, and it had all been taken away from her.

She had never been this powerless before.

If she didn't have anything before, she truly had nothing now.

Her mind raced and her heart drummed loudly in her chest. She tensed, turning as still as a statue. Why? Why must this happen?

Actually, there was no point in asking. She knew why. Because she was a villain. Because she was dangerous.

Did they know that if she could, she would go back in time and erase all her mistakes? Choose to never hurt those people, to never commit those crimes, to never do the shit that landed her here.

But she was a coward who let herself be fully under Móirín's thumb.

Maybe she deserved this. Maybe she deserved to be here.

No, it wasn't a maybe, it was a yes.

Day Twenty-Six

Eris had begun to make a habit of visiting Wrenna. It was something she was quite grateful for. Eris was…somewhere, rambling about a book she had recently read, and Wrenna was sitting on the bed, her worries causing her to half-tune Eris out.

"And like, at the end, the trio hops onto the dragon, and they have to fly through a bunch of storm clouds to get to the Dark Lord's castle, and—hey, Wrenna?"

The abrupt stop made Wrenna jerk her head up. "Um, yeah?"

"Are you doing okay?

After some hesitation, Wrenna answered, "I…yeah, sure, I guess." God, she didn't even sound convincing to herself.

She heard Eris's footsteps walking closer to her. It unnerved her slightly, not knowing exactly where Eris was. A hand touched her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise.

"Oh—sorry about that, my bad!" Eris exclaimed. "I just—I just wanted to let you know, I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk about anything."

Wrenna sighed and slumped over, running the words she wanted to say over and over again in her mind. The phrase was simple, but the delivery could be everything.

Finally, she simply stated, "I want to get out of here."

Eris didn't respond immediately. "You remember the offer, don't you?" she commented.

"Yes, and I've told you before, I'm not joining the heroes."

"Wrenna, it'd be for the best, you'd be safe, and you'd prove to everyone you've changed—"

"I have changed," Wrenna interrupted. "I'm not going to fight for anyone but myself, no matter how much they try to make me." She'd made that mistake with Móirín already. She wouldn't make it again.

Eris sighed. "Alright. But maybe think about it a little more."

The room went quiet, and the silence was deafening.

It was Wrenna who broke it. "I…I haven't read a lot of books, but the one you were talking about sounds great…can I hear more about it?"

"Sure!" Eris chirped, and Wrenna imagined that she was smiling.

Day Forty-One

To keep herself from going any more insane than she already was, Wrenna had invented a few little games for herself.

There was the "Guess That Noise!" game, which was always a little treat. Sometimes there'd be a humming sound, or a crash, or the sound of something zipping by. Usually, the sources seemed to be mundane. The whir of a vent. Someone dropping something heavy upstairs. An annoying, evil mosquito. Sometimes she could make out the faint sounds of cars in the distance.

Lately, she'd added another part to this game, where she made up a story behind the sound that was much more fun. An electric field about to zap something. A piano falling from a window. A wedding cake toppling over. A murder—no, not a murder. Not that. She didn't want to think about that.

It was usually an interesting game, but she couldn't do it all the time. Wrenna had other things to occupy herself, though.

She also had the drawing game, which mostly consisted of lying on her stomach on the floor and making scratches on the cold linoleum floor. She couldn't exactly see what she was drawing, but she could imagine it might look like something a feral animal would make. Or maybe it wasn't visible at all.

Wrenna had no way to tell if she was scratching hard enough, but one day, she noticed warm liquid running down her fingertips. When she ventured to sample it, it tasted like a drop of copper on her tongue. So she knew that she'd probably made some type of mark, even if it was just bloodstains.

And there was one final game as well. Wrenna didn't particularly like playing this one, but she couldn't stop herself from doing it. It didn't have a name. It simply consisted of trying to get the restraints off.

The handcuffs had a generous chain and left her hands in the front, but they were still weighty, awkward, and uncomfortable. They had a rough texture that was a little soft when poked—Wrenna guessed it was leather padding, and as far she could tell with her hands, there wasn't a lock she could pick or break.

And she constantly found herself fiddling with the blindfold, but the damn thing had so many straps and even a fucking lock. Wrenna couldn't get it off, and yet she was still constantly trying. Where the hell did the heroes even get something like this?

Even with all these little activities, there was too much time in the day—or night? She couldn't tell anymore—to think. To ponder over all her mistakes and failures. Why did you do this? Why have you ended up here? Why, why couldn't you have just never been born?

More often than not, the blindfold was damp with tears.

Day Fifty-Two

Eris was back again. Back for another little conversation about the smallest things, heart-to-hearts that meant so much to Wrenna. Eris was standing by the door, and the two had been conversing for what felt like hours.

"Really? You never had any stuffed animals as a kid?" Eris asked her, incredulous.

Wrenna shook her head in response. In the back of her mind, she wondered how many times Eris made these kinds of gestures that she was just unable to see.

"We've got to fix that! I'm getting you a plushie. What's your favorite animal?" Eris's voice was suddenly much more animated and excited.

Wrenna felt her cheeks become hot, and she cracked a nervous smile. "Aww, you don't have to do that for me."

"But I will," Eris promised. "It's really nothing, and plushies are so important."

"Um…I like canaries a lot," Wrenna said in a soft voice.

"A canary plush it is then!" Eris confirmed.

She paced for a bit before sitting down on the floor, next to the cot that Wrenna was sitting on.

"I still can't believe you didn't have any plushies as a kid," Eris commented, voice a little sad.

Wrenna frowned. "If I had any stuffed animals, Móirín would have probably taken them away eventually," she mused.

"God, that's fucked," Eris murmured, giving Wrenna's hand a soft squeeze.

Wrenna shrugged. "It's fine. Not the worst thing she did by a long shot."

Eris was silent for a while, and Wrenna wondered what she was doing.

"Do you need to talk about it…?" Eris finally offered.

Wrenna opened her lips, and mouthed a few syllables, trying to figure out the right answer, how to phrase things. "I…"

She honestly did want to talk about it. But the prospect of telling someone was frankly terrifying. Her entire life with Móirín was an exercise in learning how to be quiet, how it was better to scream and sob than spill any information at all.

"It's…I don't know. It was a lot." Wrenna said carefully, tone kept measured and even. "I never wanted to be a villain, you know… But Móirín wanted it. And well, she won." Móirín had always made it known to Wrenna that she owed her. So Wrenna followed her orders, and paid the price when she didn't.

She shrugged. She didn't know what else to do.

She felt a supportive pat on her shoulder. From Eris, probably.

"Wow, that should have never happened to you…" Eris remarked. "But hey. You can be whatever you want to be. You're safe now. I promise that to you."

Her voice was so kind, so sweet and gentle, that at least for the moment, Wrenna truly believed she could trust Eris.

Day Sixty-Seven

Eris was the only thing Wrenna looked forward to, now. She was the only person Wrenna ever talked to—maybe no one else cared to talk to her, maybe she was just appointed—whatever, Wrenna didn't care. She just wanted to hear someone's voice.

And maybe, one day, see Eris's face.

But Wrenna had gotten used to the darkness, and she was starting to doubt if she'd ever see anything again.

As she stroked the little canary plush in her hands, Wrenna racked her mind, trying to think of something to say to her only friend. But her list of conversation topics was starting to dry up. She'd already told Eris everything. About the things she once saw and liked to do, about the secret hobbies she hid from Móirín, and Móirín's plans, their location and secret hideouts, and about the people who worked with them, too. She'd even told Eris about some of her regrets.

Nothing was off the table. And she didn't care if she was spilling valuable information anymore. She'd be happy if everything blew up in Móirín's face.

"Wrenna…?"

She turned her head in the direction of Eris's voice. Oh god. She was going to leave. Wrenna had nothing to say, and now Eris was just going to go. She was too boring. Everything was boring. Wrenna had nothing to do and that was so boring which had made her boring and Eris was going to lose interest, maybe she wouldn't come back—

Eris's voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts. "Um. You look pretty deep in thought. What'cha thinking about?"

Wrenna turned her head away. "I…" She could tell Eris. Eris treated her kindly. Eris always had soft, gentle words to say. She felt almost trustworthy, even.

Tears started streaming down Wrenna's face. Fuck. Fuck. Not now.

"I-I just…" Wrenna's voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Hey, hey," Eris soothed. Wrenna heard the bed creak and felt Eris's arms wrap around her, and she felt just a little more safe and secure. "It's okay, let it out…wanna talk about it, more?"

"I think—I think I'm losing my mind—oh god, how long have I even been in here?" Wrenna croaked.

"It's been, um, it's been a while," Eris murmured.

Wrenna leaned on Eris's shoulder, melting into the hug. "Please—I have to get out. Can you get me—can you get me out of here?" she whispered to Eris, every few words punctuated with a sob of utter longing.

"I…I'm sorry, but I can't. Not unless you, you join us," Eris mumbled in reply, sounding disappointed in herself.

"Oh," Wrenna sighed, defeated.

I think I'd rather die.

Day Eighty

Even though she couldn't see, Wrenna now knew the cell like the back of her hand.

Her reference was the wall where the ticking noise came from, the one that the clock was mounted on. On the opposite end of the ticking was the wall with the door. Across from the door, to the right of the ticking, was her cot, layered with extra blankets and messy sheets. To the left of the ticking was the door to the bathroom.

She had probably felt the walls hundreds of times by now, circling the cell and running her hands along the smooth paint, like what she was doing now. As far as she could tell, there weren't any bugs, though she didn't doubt that there was a camera somewhere out of her reach.

Lately, she had invented a new game. It was a bit morbid, and sometimes she wondered if she really should be playing it, but she had nothing else better to do.

It was a straightforward game—she'd find an object, feel it, and let her mind wander, thinking about ways she could use it to kill herself. Sometimes her ideas could be horribly creative, but none of them were particularly easy or painless.

Still, maybe she'd actually do it one day. Any other ending was starting to seem like a dream and an impossibility. There was nothing but her and the darkness and her stupid fucking brain and the cell that she couldn't see.

Wrenna leaned against the wall, then sunk to the floor, and sighed. There still wasn't anything to do. The cell was practically barren and empty. It was probably that way for a reason. Maybe it was empty to give the inmates fewer opportunities to kill themselves. Or maybe it was because they didn't deserve any better.

If she died here, she would die a prisoner. Which was depressing, considering that she had been one all her life. But it felt like such a minuscule concern compared to the prospect of finally ending this horrible existence.

She wanted freedom, but she'd settle for death.

Day Ninety-Five

Wrenna was lying on the cot, tangled in her sheets. She hadn't left the bed in days, and she didn't want to, either. Her mind was filled with static that pinned her down to the cot and sapped her motivation to do anything at all.

There was a knock on the door. Probably Eris. "Yeah. Come in." Her voice was tinged with a permanent sadness now, hopelessness bleeding through her words.

She heard the turn of the lock and the heavy cell door swinging open.

"Hey, Ren," Eris greeted, in that sweet voice that sounded like calm ocean waves.

"Hey…stay here for a while, please?" Wrenna had nothing to talk about. And yet she still wanted to be with Eris, anyways. Not that she deserved her, or any sort of friend. But if this was how Eris chose to spend her time, Wrenna wasn't about to argue.

"Of course." Eris sat down on the edge of the bed, and Wrenna shifted to give her more space. Eris clasped Wrenna's hand, and Wrenna enjoyed the warmth.

Eris started talking about a recent mission, and Wrenna truly did want to listen to every word, but it was all too easy to get sucked into her thoughts, her guilt, and her death wish.

Wrenna honestly didn't really remember what she felt guilty about anymore. She knew that she hurt people. And she recalled the moments, the twisting of a knife, the shrieks, and the sirens. But the past was starting to fade away and fall into the darkness. Now there was only the cell, the wretched, suffocating little box, in the waking hours, and Móirín's house in her nightmares.

She was nothing. This life was nothing. Every hour was just prolonging the agony. Even when Eris was there.

There was something she needed to ask Eris.

"Eris?" she softly called out.

Eris quickly responded. "Yeah?"

Wrenna took a deep breath and squeezed the plush canary underneath the blankets to prepare herself for asking. "Eris, I-I…" Her voice trembled, and she felt tears soaking into her blindfold.

"I need you to kill me," she finally imparted.

Eris was silent for a long time. "…What?" she whispered, with quiet horror.

"Please," Wrenna begged, "please, that's all I want… I feel like I'm dying in here. I can't take this anymore. Can you—can you kill me? I can't kill—I can't kill myself, so—so I'm asking you, to, to do it."

"No, Ren, god no, I can't do that. I'm not going to kill you. Oh, god. My god," Eris panicked. Wrenna heard Eris's heartbeat starting to race, matching her own.

Eris squeezed Wrenna's hand tightly. "I can't. I would never hurt you." Eris was crying now. Wrenna could hear it.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for asking," Wrenna apologized, voice quiet. She tried to hide the disappointment and strange relief that welled up inside her.

"No, no, it's—" Eris took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay. I think I have to—no, I will."

"Ren, I'm going to get you out of here," she declared.

"If I join the heroes, right, I've heard it all before," Wrenna supposed with a sigh.

"No. I'm going to get you out of here regardless," Eris promised, grave determination in her voice.

Wrenna couldn't believe it. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really. God, I'm so sorry—I should have done something earlier." Eris's voice cracked with regret.

It was Wrenna's turn to clutch Eris's hand. "It's—it's okay. When do we—when do we leave?" she ventured, a spark of hope igniting in her heart.

"How about right now?" Eris offered.

Wrenna's cracked lips curled into a smile, her first in a long time. "That sounds great to me."

—

AN: I had this written a while ago but I didn't find the time to edit it until recently

Hope you guys enjoy this, it's one of my longer pieces so <2

[sanchoyo]

interview in an hour send good vibes besties 🥺

[flowerygraves]

been catalyzing a lot lately its been very good for me so far