#shit at least eggs are *supposed* to break

[szynkaaa]

The Shape of Monkey

Some of my friends were talking about the monkey design in Black Myth Wukong, in terms of how much of monkey features the DO/SWK has, and how we wished they devs added a bit more "monkey" ness to the DO, which then made me realize, the devs did do that, but just not for the "normal" game model that we use to play.

The anatomy here is pretty much very normal, the only few traits pointing at him being a monkey are his feet, tail, his face and his fur.

My friend (who doesn't even play BMW or knows about JTTW but is a certified monster fucker) said she doesn't count him as a monster because his shape is too human LOL

This is how he looks in Chapter 5 ending animation:

very human shaped.

which brings me back to the monkey that looks more like a monkey in the game

The Stone Monkey is a two phase we fight in the final boss battle, after we defeat him he breaks and out comes the Broken Shell of the Great Sage

After you finish the first playthrough, you get the Stone Monkey as a transformation, called the Azure Dome.

If you do the True Ending, you transform into the Azure Dome for the first time towering over monkeys and beat the shit out of the four heavenly kings and Erlang. Great fight 10/10

proprotionally speaking, his arms seems a bit longer, or least looks like it due to his big hands. His tails is also longer (don't have a screenshot of that unfortunately), and his ears are pointed. I also think that his mouth structure is a lot more monkey like with it being more pointed forward than his normal model.

Canonly, SWK can change his size into very big or very small, but I don't think in JTTW it was ever described that he had a Stone Monkey form. He is a stone monkey, or monkey born from stone.

I really love that the devs took it literal and created a form and transformation that looks like a monkey and you can see from his tecture that he is supposed to be made from stone

He punches people and also when he dodges he walks on all four. So I guess that is the closest to a monkey we will get from DO/SWK

Chapter 6 ending animation also goes with a more "monkey" like anatomy for Wukong's design

point ears, longer limbs, shorter legs. I love that they added the red face blush here too. His tail is never shown in the animation, but looking at his pilgrim outfit set and the pulge in his pants (no not that one), he probably hides his tail inside his pants. it's kind of a cute detail

The Old Monkey we see also has more human like proportions:

all the other monkeys in the background (beside DO) are more monkey.

Here are the models I pulled from the game

I also love that each monkey has a different fur "pattern", gives them more variety

This one we only see when you reach the normal ending, when the DO did not break the cycle and the headband is put back onto his head, we see this monkey in the fetal position and then it zooms out to the stone egg and sad credit song plays. You can watch the clip here.

I think it's clear that the devs are trying to show an unbron monkey still in the womb, the stone egg/birth stone being the womb in this case, waiting for the next DO to come and finish SWK's revival.

I guess the stages of growth could be like this:

Why did Game Science went for a more human-like approach for the Monkey in terms of design?

We don't know the answer, it was never mentioned anything in the game about it and I have not come across any interviews about it yet.

I do think that the choice to make the Stone Monkey more monkey like and the "normal" monkey more human like was a deliberate choice by the devs.

For the animation, I believe the Game science gave the studio some references on "hey this is how our monkey looks like" and then let the studio do its own thing style-wise, hence why in Ch. 5 animation monkey has a more human like anatomy but ch. 6 comes with more monkey like anatomy

My personal HC is that SWK has a more human-like anatomy to show that he has a high level of cultivation maybe? We have seen in the game there are few yaoguais that are able to take on human appearances, such as the Pingping and the 5th spider sister. And yes, I also hc that SWK does have a monkey-form too that he can transform into.

I'm really begging for Game Science to release an artbook with concept art and background info on why they did this and that

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 2

Hello and welcome to the second chapter of this lovely fic. We have all sorts of thrills for you on this one.

A ghost town, a haunted B&B, and Gaming Con Salt Lake City.

Did I spend too much time in Utah? Oh no doubt, but I am a Utah girlie born and bred and I know a bit more about it then anywhere else.

Part 1

~

At breakfast in the little nook the B&B provided for them to eat, Robin was eyeing Eddie and Steve suspiciously.

“I can’t believe you two actually went to bed after we parted for the night,” she huffed. “I was expecting at least some vigorous exercise, if you know what I mean.”

But before either of them could reply, one of the owners came over and tutted at Steve. She was an elderly woman with frizzy hair and half moon glasses. “Do you like to exercise, young man?”

Steve pursed his lips to avoid laughing in his hostess’s face and nodded. “I usually like to go for a run in the morning, but I’m on vacation.” He kicked Robin’s shin for good measure.

“I understand, dear,” she said patting his shoulder. “When we make a habit of something our friends can be a little shocked when we take a break.” She wandered back into the kitchen to get more coffee.

“Did you forget that Eddie and I aren’t supposed to be a couple?” Steve hissed. “It’s a good thing she missed the double entendre otherwise you might have gotten us kicked out.”

Robin threw herself against the back of the chair with a huff and crossed her arms. She looked away and Chrissy whispered to her for a bit while Steve and Eddie ate their food.

“Sorry.”

Suddenly there was a crash and the woman started screaming. “George! She’s done it again! Either she goes or I do!”

Their whole table went silent but everyone around kept going about their business like this happened all the time.

Steve asked a nearby table what that was all about.

“That’s Nessie Thomas,” the man explained. “She’s been haunting this house since she died of the Spanish Flu in 1918. She doesn’t like the way Emma does her eggs and will pull the pans off the shelf to express her displeasure.”

Steve and Robin looked at each other and then started shoveling food in their mouths. Chrissy raised an eyebrow at Eddie in askance.

“Soulmate telepathy,” he said with a shrug. “I think basically, they want to get out of here as fast as possible before the ghost starts throwing something more dangerous than pans.”

Chrissy tilted her head and there was another crash and more screaming from the kitchen.

Her eyes widened and she too started hurrying to finish her breakfast.

“That’s it! George you can have the witch!” Emma screamed. She stomped out of the kitchen and threw her apron on the floor on her way out the door.

Eddie turned to the guy who had told them about the ghost. “Is that normal, too?”

The guy laughed. “Sure is. About once a month Emma declares she’s done and then after two or three days of George nearly running this place into the ground, she comes back with a shit ton of garlic, a bowl of salt, and a crucifix or three.”

That was when Eddie started to hurry up with breakfast. Ghosts were fine, but weaponized incompetence was where he drew the line.

They made it out to their roomy SUV Eddie had rent for their tour of America’s haunted places. They would return it in New Hampshire after touring all the HH Holmes sites, in Pennsylvania for his grave site, Vermont for where he fell the police, and finally New Hampshire for his birthday place. They would see other sites in between in Pennsylvania and New York.

Their final stop was Boston where they would take a flight to Queenstown in Ireland where they would begin their tour of Europe’s haunted places as New Hampshire didn’t have any international flights. So they would take a flight down to Massachusetts, see Salem and the birth place of Edgar Allen Poe and then fly out to Ireland.

Their next stop was Brodie, CA. A ghost town from the Gold rush that mysteriously burned down in the 1930s.

“It’s so creepy,” Robin said as they walked through the town, everything just as people left it all those years ago.

Suddenly there was a large bang and both Eddie and Robin grabbed Steve’s hands, one each, while Chrissy, clutched Eddie’s free arm, burying her face into it.

Steve smiled but wisely said nothing when they wanted to continue, but did not want to let go of his hands. He found the place more sad than creepy. These people thought they were going to get rich and suddenly everything went horribly wrong.

They made it back to the car, his koalas still firmly attached.

“You don’t think there were like, actual ghosts,” Robin asked, “do you?”

Steve merely pursed his lips as the three of them went off on all sorts of theories for the phenomena that went on in that town. From natural gases, to wind, to actual ghosts. They hadn’t reached a consensus by the time Steve hit the freeway.

~

They traveled all over the west and were a little disappointed when the got to Utah and found that Skinwalker Ranch didn’t allow visitors.

“That’s lame,” Chrissy said at the cafe they stopped in after seeing the “no trespassing” signs. “I really wanted to get a closer look at that one.”

A nearby local snorted. “It’s ‘cause they’re filming another season of that show right now. You just came at the wrong time.”

Robin sunk down in bench of their booth and crossed her arms with a pout. “That sucks.”

“There’s always Blind Frog Ranch,” the local suggested. “It’s near here, and you can even book tours.”

Eddie pulled out his phone and within minutes the girls and Eddie had booked a tour while Steve talked to the local. His name was Cary and he had lived in the area his whole life.

“Blind Frog isn’t as famous,” Cary told Steve, “but it’s still a pretty good haunt if you like that sort of thing.”

“Sounds right up our alley,” Steve agreed. “We’ve spent a good couple of days in Vegas at the Monster Museum and Museum of Illusions as well as a couple of others thrown in for fun.”

“You taking in as many sites as you can?”

Steve nodded. “We can do whatever we want as long as we are in Boston for our flight to Ireland in three weeks time.”

“You’re pretty slow going,” Cary said. “You’ve only made it through a third of the country.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, pulling out their map of places they wanted to see. “But we’re from the Midwest and are already familiar with those sites, so we’ll be breezing past those.”

Cary nodded. He pointed to a place on the map. “That there is Fall River. That’s where the Lizzy Borden house is. It’s a bed and breakfast. My niece stayed out there when she was in the state for Halloween in Salem.”

Steve circled it and put a little number on it and then made a note on the side what that was.

“Hey, Eds?” Steve called over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Be sure to book us in the Lizzy Borden B&B.”

Robin and Chrissy shared shocked but excited glances and they bent over Eddie’s phone yet again. This time for a B&B in Massachusetts.

Steve thanked Cary and went back to his table, map firmly in hand.

“Well,” Chrissy said brightly. “It wasn’t a complete wash.” She turned around to where Cary had been sitting to thank him but he had vanished.

~

The trip to Blind Frog was as fun as Cary said it was going to be. They asked around but there hadn’t been a Cary around town for a long time.

“Did–was he–he couldn’t have,” Eddie said, his eyes wide, “could he?”

“You’re asking me if there is a thing as ghosts?” Steve asked his hands on his hips. “Because if you are, we are going home this instant. If you can’t handle a friendly one, you aren’t going to fair well in Europe.”

Robin and Chrissy shared a glance and Robin crossed her arms. “And just how would you know?”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down, pained. He looked upwards and nodded to himself as he fought to control his temper. Because even Eddie was looking confused.

“Did you people forget that I had wealthy parents that before I came out as bi,” he said tersely, “took me with them on vacations. Vacations to Europe, Cancun, The Bahamas, Australia?”

Chrissy raised her hand. “Like I didn’t know that. But probably should have guessed,” she explained as Eddie and Robin looked a tad chagrin and refused to look Steve in the eye.

“She’s excused.” He turned to his best friend and his boyfriend. “So what about you too?”

“Sorry, Stevie,” Eddie murmured. “I guess I did forget that you’ve done this sort of thing before.”

“Yeah,” Robin said softly. “I was just thinking about travel in terms of before stardom and after. And before was when you met me and not, you know the previous eighteen years before that.”

“So are we okay with ghosties?” Steve asked, tilting his head forward and to the side.

All three of them nodded.

“Good,” he replied rubbing his hands together, “I hear the McCune Mansion in Salt Lake is extra haunted.”

~

They pulled up to the mansion and out front was a Mystery Machine, a 1967 Chevy Impala, and an Echo 1 in the parking lot.

Steve licked his lips slowly. “Uh, hey guys? How do we feel about skipping this one and moving on to the next one?”

“Baby,” Eddie cooed, “I’d be very grateful to you if you did just that.”

“We can still say we’ve been here,” Chrissy hedged from the back seat. “We just don’t have to go in.”

Robin sat in silence for a moment. “Whatever is happening inside that house is way above our level to handle. All in favor of moving to the next creepy thing say ‘aye’?”

Everyone said “Aye!” and Steve pulled slowly out of the parking lot.

They pulled into a pizza place just off the nearby university campus called The Pie for some really good pizza and great atmosphere. Eddie fell immediately in love with all weird decor and graffiti everywhere.

They were also amazed that everyone was in costumes of some sort.

“What’s going on?” Robin asked their waitress when she brought them the largest pizza they had ever seen in their lives.

“Local gaming convention this weekend,” she said. “I don’t know how they can stand the heat with all those layers. I would have passed out before noon.”

Eddie began to vibrate. “Guys, guys... can we go? Pleeaassse!”

Steve and Chrissy shared a glance. Eddie was sure to get recognized if they did.

“Fuck, yeah. Let’s go,” Robin said, slamming her hand on the table.

Steve jumped and looked her in the eye. She tilted her head to the side and smirked. He blinked, furrowing his brow. She wagged her eyebrows. He cocked his head to the side and tapped his lips thoughtfully. She leaned forward expectantly. He threw his arms up in the air in resignation.

“Yes!” Robin crowed. “I win!”

Chrissy blinked in confusion. “Was there a conversation in that? Because I must of have missed something if there was.”

“Soulmate telepathy,” Eddie explained solemnly. “It’s rare to see that pronounced though. Usually it’s more subtle.”

With a sigh Chrissy pulled out her phone and after a bit of searching and some phone tag was able to get ahold of convention management. “Yes, I’m a completely serious. I’m just giving you a head’s up because if a single fan tags his location you might get more fans at your convention than the fire marshals will allow.”

Eddie grimaced. “Oops. I forgot I was that level of famous.”

“So?” Robin huffed. “You should still be able to go out and have fun if you want to. Just pull your hair up in a ponytail and wear a hat and sunglasses. You can tell people you’re Bucky Barnes.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “If he’s Bucky, who does that make me? I’m not blond enough for Steve Rogers, though Chrissy could absolutely pull on ‘End Game’ Natasha.”

Chrissy bowed to the best of her ability sitting down. “Why thank you!”

“Robbie could be Carol Danvers!” Eddie crowed. “It’d be awesome!”

They started throwing out ideas like Tony Stark or Clint Barton, but none of them really fit Steve.

Then Robin hit on the perfect idea. “Hey, Steve, did you bring your glasses with you?”

“Yeah,” Steve said slowly. “I can’t wear my contacts when I get my migraines, why?”

Robin just grinned.

~

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

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[ippipo]

Fuck it into ya

sukuna ryomen x reader - mafia au? idk but here's sum

Sukuna is the type to buy you expensive presents literally every week. He was a spend-thrift and it was batshit crazy how careless he was with money when it came to you. So you decided to take the matter into your own hands.

You told Sukuna that you'll tear every single clothing he buys you if he doesn't listen to you, to which he casually shrugged and said, "I could just buy you more." After many blackmailing attempts (who are you kidding? this man gets death threats and is attacked at least once every month), you decided to use your ace card.

You didn't talk to him for an entire day. It was pretty childish considering the fact that he was buying stuff only for you, but you recently heard that one of the three powerful mafia groups had gone bankrupt rendering them useless. It scared you because Sukuna's money saving ability was shit despite being the richest mafia ever.

After a few painful hours of knocking on your door, Sukuna was angry and punched a hole into the hard wood. Of course it didn't work, his knuckles started to hurt. That didn't matter to him though, he just wanted to know why you were ignoring him.

"Y/N.." he called out weakly, his voice bleeding with sadness. He had a bad day and he just wanted to be around you. Hearing his pitiful voice, your heart clenched. C'mon, it's not everyday you have one of the strongest people weak on their knees, begging. Seems like you were just as sadistic as the greatest mafia don himself.

You slowly unlocked the door and peered into his eyes, your eyes bearing rigidity that made his cock hard. You grabbed his hand and brought him to your shared bed, pushing him onto it and falling on him, earning a grunt.

You softly dragged your fingers on his palm, sometimes writing his name, sometimes writing your name. He pushed you off to the side gently and got up to undress himself down to just his boxers. He got on to the bed and grabbed you aggressively by your shoulder, pulling you back on top of him, your rightful position.

You bit his shoulder playfully as a payback for manhandling you to which he replied with a kiss on your forehead. "Say, why do you want me to stop buying you things so bad?" He questioned, his voice booming in the quietness of your room.

"Do you want me to tell you the truth?" You asked. "You are to answer my question, not question me back." He flicked your forehead, earning an 'ouch'. "You won't leave me after this?" You asked, ignoring his statement earlier. He looked at you with a deadpan expression.

"Darling, you fucking dumb bitch, I saw you mixing egg yolks with strawberry jam to make a volcano and I'm still with you." He stated. You muttered 'reasonable' before clearing your throat, preparing yourself for something you thought would embarrass you.

"Okay. So, um-" "Get to the point." He said impatiently. "Fine. The clothes you're getting me are the wrong size, they're smaller and I think I grew bigger than last time. I feel weird about myself because they used to fit me but now they're a little tight and uncomfortable and I feel insecure." You said without a break.

"W-" "And I heard some maids saying that three of your enemy gangs went bankrupt and I'm scared you'll waste all your money on things that I won't even use." You added. "First off, how dare you interrupt me." He said and paused.

"Secondly, what do you mean you feel insecure? If anything, I'm the one who was supposed to buy you clothes that fit you, not the ones smaller, it's my fault. And darling, you're a fucking goddess, I don't care if you got bigger, you look just fine to me." He pulled both your cheeks with his fingers and slapped them softly.

"Stop doing tha-" "I didn't marry you for something as stupid as looks, I married you because you're my weird cumslut who can't go a day without dick, plus, you're my wife, no way am I letting something so absurd bother you." He said with a smirk. You slapped his bare chest because of his choice of words, blushing profusely.

"Thirdly, who do you think made them go bankrupt?" You remained silent at that, assured and relieved. "So...you still like me?" You asked. He smacked your cheek and choked you, gently may I add. "Stop asking me stupid questions." He grumbled.

You giggled when his thumb ghosts over your neck, tickling you while his hand was around it. You take his hand that was around your neck and press kisses on his knuckles. He brought his hand to his lips and kissed the spots you kissed, a happy glint in his eye, as if you both actually kissed.

Sukuna doesn't look like it, but he is just happy if you were near him. Your presence is more than enough, a blessing, in fact. To him, you're not a prize, you're a gift, you're a prank gone right, you're his world. Aggressively, he loved you, he cherished you and he will keep on doing it till his last breath.

"I'm still offended you slapped me." You said, turning away when he tried to kiss you. He grabbed your chin and forcefully made you look towards him, to which you didn't object. He gently kissed your lips, capturing your heart and soul within a span of seconds.

A wordless assurance. He needed that to make sure he didn't actually hurt you, because he meant to slap softly, playfully, with pure love, not the kind of slap he was more acquainted with, thanks to his parents (who were dead by the way).

"It's just that..." You began, grabbing his attention though it was already on you. "I don't like the way I look?" It was more of a question than a confession, you were unsure of yourself. There were times you liked the way you looked, there were times you absolutely despised yourself.

It was complicated, your relationship with your body. When you thought you looked good, you didn't. When you thought you didn't look good, you didn't.

It was tough, especially when you're dating someone conventionally attractive. It makes you feel unworthy. That maybe someday he would find someone else. Maybe someone who looks prettier, has both, beauty and brawns.

Even though he treats you like a princess, showering you with his passionate fancy love, you still felt that he could do better. Choose someone better. That thought makes you feel like someone had cut your head and poured vomit inside you, bleaching your organs with vomit, an unshakeable feeling.

You didn't need to say a word though. Sukuna knew what you were thinking. Every thought, every whisper and every breath of yours was familiar to him. It was surprising how well he knew you. Perfect hands wrapped around a perfect waist, your waist. He didn't care how big it was.

He kissed you, aggressively. That's what you called your relationship, aggressive love, which was quite contrary to how he treated you because there was always a hidden gentleness under his aggressiveness. He knew where to draw the line though.

"I don't know why you don't want to believe me, so I might just have to fuck it into ya." It was funny how he said it in a very serious tone, he was being serious. "Ryo, I was at a stupid party before coming home and my legs are dead from standing so much." You whined.

"Who says you have to work now? Let me handle your body." He whispered, licking a stripe on the back of your ear. A shiver of pleasure ran down your body, right to your cunt. Oh boy did you know what a night it was going to be.

[iwonderwh0]

It'd be a completely different media and wouldn't work for a multiple-choice game, but both Hank and Connor would be in such a completely different light if it was Hank-POV narrative.

You as a viewer would also think Connor is fucking annoying and you'd feel like breaking his nose the first time he brings up complaining about you to your superior. Like wow what a fucking capitalist dystopian police state is that where a fucking robot threatens you. And if he spills your drink? You fucking paid for it, and now it threatens that you'll have to pay for him too if you damage it? "Androids are there to serve humans" your ass, as far as you can see it's humans who are serving androids and CyberLife. Regular humans who pay for android's existence with their jobs, taxes and loved ones who prefer androids to them. CyberLife is holding the whole country hostage by their fucking things, and you even heard that some of their robots go crazy and recently one of them took a literal hostage? A kid?? The FUCK, how does things like that even happen?

You wish Cyberlife would be at least held accountable, but well, you lived too long to believe that they ever will. You know it from your own personal experience. Even if CL was made to pay some financial compensations, how can it be ever enough to "compensate" for the loss of someone who is fucking dead now, and what does a fine do to a multibillion dollar corporation? No one gets punished, nothing is done to prevent it in the future. For CyberLife nothing is changed, but for the people they harmed — nothing will ever be the same again.

You get assigned to android cases, as if you give a shit. As if anyone at all gives a shit. As if investigating any of this shit matters, as if it'll lead to some changes or get someone punished for letting it happen. Now you're forced to look at countless examples of this corporation fucking people over without repercussions. You don't even care to open those reports, they just make you feel too angry and hopeless. If after all those examples of harm they can induce androids are still allowed to be produced and owned what's the fucking point of looking into those cases? What is it you're supposed to do about them anyway, lay an egg?

Okay, fuck, you were dragged into looking at them despite your will, and now you are kind of confused what to make of it. You know those fuckers are made to look human, they are even made to laugh and joke to win your sympathy. But still, those androids you see don't really give you an impression of being broken, instead they look...

Maybe that's a stupid idea. And yet it won't leave you alone. It makes you angry because you genuinely don't know if you're just being a gullible fool or you're onto something.

The android that was assigned to you acts like your typical office Joe, the kind of people who even before the invention of androids gave off the impression of not being quite human. The kind that speaks like they've read way too many positive thinking books about success. The kind that describes themselves as "goal oriented" in a casual conversation and suggests colleagues to have a pointless team-building meetings.

You hate those guys even in their human form, so when you first expressed to that plastic Joe a desire to throw a bunch of them in a dumpster you're not entirely sure whether you're talking about just androids or this specific type as a whole.

While all the deviants you see appear to be really human that just happened to be in a bad place at the wrong time and make you feel doubts, the plastic Joe makes you feel fooled again whenever you look at it. Sometimes it does something that fills you with doubts, but then it goes back to rambling on about its task. It gets on your nerves, you wish you could just get a solid evidence of whether or not this thing feels something. You get real drunk and try to provoke it, to see if it'll react to a threat of death like other deviants you saw. It doesn't give you an explicit answer to your dilemma. You're left with your doubts on your own. Maybe this plastic Joe doesn't realise he's anything more than what he claims, or maybe he's perfectly aware and is just fucking with you. Maybe you just imagined a bunch of nonsense. Maybe that plastic Joe isn't like those other feeling androids you saw, and unlike them he's indeed exactly what he claims to be.

He gets killed right in front of your eyes. You can't help but feel bad -- after all, he still looks like a human and you feel like you "knew him" as a person in your life. Granted, one of the most annoying ones you ever met, but to even the most annoying Joes out there you don't actually wish death, even if sometimes you say you do.

You don't get to feel sad for long -- the next day the plastic Joe walks right back as if nothing happened, and ACTS as if nothing happened. It makes your blood boil and your eyes feel hot. It simultaneously makes you feel like a naive fool for ever bothering about it at all and like tearing it up with your own hands again so you wouldn't have to be next to it. Because you know you can't help but feel like it's a living person purely for how human-like it looks and acts, even when you know it's not.

Also it makes you think of how utterly unfair it is that something soulless can be brought back and keep "living" after a fatal accident as if nothing happened while so many actual and much more deserving people can't nor were ever given a chance. Nor ever will be.

It makes you even angrier to see how indifferent it acts to the fact of its own death, while you, a fool, felt like shit about it all this time and STILL feel like shit about it now. If you used to find yourself occasionally liking him before, whatever warm feeling you had are gone now that he's back after something that should have been a final stop. You can't stand looking at it, you wish to get as far away from it as possible, and yet you cannot stand the idea of it seeing it getting "killed" if front of your eyes again because you know that your human gut will twist all the same. But the way he acts, completely deprived of self-preservation instinct, as if at part intentionally trying to torture you, It just makes you hate him more. You try to grab him and stop him from what can potentially end in his destruction whenever you can. Not so much for his sake as for the peace of mind of your own.

The androids are marching on the streets chanting about being alive. They hijack a tv station and send their demands. If Connor didn't give you enough proofs to convince you, this finally does.

The question remains of whether all androids are just as the one you're stuck with. You spend the most time with it so, unintentionally, you project everything it does on all the rest of them. And if the only thing it reminds you of is this terrible nauseating injustice of the world that depresses you so much you already felt like disappearing from existence before you ever met and impunity of all those in power, maybe it's time for you to pull the plug already because there's nothing you want to see or stick around for anymore and only everything you hate that is left. And it will only ever gonna get worse, and you're too tired and helpless to do anything about it. And even if you weren't, perhaps it's just not worth it.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Your Little Secret

Pairing: Misha Collins x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warnings: 19 year age gap, implied smut

Request by @jessicalynnann: Jordan.!!! I need me a good happy story… with some angst and smut well because it is me lol. How about one where Misha is your dad’s best friend and he is attracted to you and he shouldn’t be and one night he comes over to check on you cause your parents are away and walks in on you and a guy and gets jealous and then he throws him out so sexy time ensues.

Summary: You come home for the summer after your first year in college. Everyone looks different, the farm is different, the town is different and Misha Collins is definitely different. Older men are what get you going, and you're going to make it a goal this summer to get as much as Misha Collins as you can.

Square Filled: "you weren't supposed to hear that" (2023) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: in this fic, Misha is 41 and you're 22

x

After a year in college, you’re back home for summer break. As much as you loved dorm life with your friends, you miss the farm life back home. Your dad owns a really big farm with lots of animals that he uses to make money off of. He sells the cow’s milk, the chicken’s eggs, and the sheep’s wool while still upholding the value of the property. He has a section of land for vegetables that he grows but he mostly keeps that for himself.

You’re staying with him for the entire summer which is the best time to be on the farm. In the winter, the snow ruins almost everything about it so the summer is the perfect time to get a lot of shit done. 

Once you get your luggage from baggage claim, you make your way over to the pickup section of the airport, waiting for your ride. When you see your dad’s beaten old pickup truck, you make your way over to him. Instead of him getting out, your older brother does with a crooked smile.

“Y/N!”

“Mason!”

You drop your luggage and run into his arms for a big hug. You haven’t seen him in years since he went off to college on the other side of the country. At least you stayed a bit closer to your home. He graduated not long ago and decided to move back home to help out with the family.

“How’s college life treating you?”

“It’s only the first year. I got a dorm next year with the friends I made this year so that’s good.”

“Awesome. Man, you won’t believe what’s been happening in this town,” he chuckles.

He grabs your luggage and heaves it into the trunk. You both get in the car and off you go back home.

“Alright, spill it. What did I miss?”

“Dad is doing more volunteer work, your old high school teacher, Ms. Bromwell got arrested for fooling around with her senior students, we got a new mayor, and Mom has the hots for the new Pastor.”

“Of course, she does,” you laugh. Ever since she got divorced from Dad, she’s been moving around town in not the best way. Still, you love her to pieces. “Glad to be home.”

“Oh, and Misha is back in town.”

Your entire body goes still at the mention of his name.

“How is he doing?”

“He’s alright, I guess,” Mason shrugs.

Misha is your dad’s best friend who grew up only a few doors down from you. He was always present at every birthday party, every time you snuck out of the house, when you first got your license, when you got ready for Prom, and when you graduated high school. When you got to that age when you started caring how you look for boys’ attention, you were really getting dolled up for him. You have had a major crush on him for years now but you were too young to do something about it.

He is nineteen years older than you but you don’t care. You’re fresh in college, you’re not a little girl anymore, and you know what you want. You want Misha and you’re going to make it your goal to get him this summer, even if it only lasts a couple of months. He might see you as a child and as his best friend’s daughter but you’re going to change that soon enough.

Mason reaches the house in record time and helps bring in your bags.

“Dad! We’re home,” he announces.

“Y/N!” your dad greets you and brings you in for a hug. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

“Glad to be home, Dad,” you smile.

“You remember Misha, right?”

You turn to face him and your mouth actually goes dry. Damn, he looks good. Seeing him is sending tingles up and down your body that you shouldn’t have for your dad’s best friend. He smiles and that almost makes you melt right there.

“Y/N, it’s been a long time.”

He brings you in for a hug and all your senses are filled with him. His cologne is making your head dizzy and you can feel his muscles underneath his clothes.

“Yeah, it has,” you chuckle.

“Do you need help unpacking?”

“No, I got it,” you quickly say and pull away from him. “Thank you, though.”

You grab your bag and immediately head upstairs before you make a fool out of yourself. He watches you walk up the stairs with a controlled look on his face. There is no way he is going to give away what he’s thinking.

The day you came in was a day for relaxing, but the next morning is when your contribution begins. You wake up right as the sun is peeking over the horizon and get dressed in short coveralls and a sports bra. You tie your hair into a messy bun and grab a woven basket before heading out to the chicken coops.

Most of the hens have laid eggs that you collect without issue. There are a few with attitudes but you know how to handle them. It doesn’t matter how long you spend away from home, the work is engraved in your head. You bend down to collect some more eggs when you hear someone shuffle against the wood chips behind you, and you gasp while turning around.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Misha chuckles.

“What are you doing up?”

“Same as you.”

“You wanted to get the eggs from the chickens, too?”

“Okay,” Misha chuckles, “maybe not the same reason.” You smile at him and move on to the hens on the other side of the coop. “So, how is college going?”

“So far so good. I got a dorm with my friends next year so that’s good. Classes are great.”

“Meet anyone over there?”

“You mean like a boyfriend?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he nods.

Is he fishing for information? What if you say yes? Are you going to make him jealous? This is a good opportunity to mess with him but you resist. It’s too early in your relationship to make such bold decisions. For now, you keep it safe.

“No. I’m not into men my age. I like them older,” you flirt subtly.

“I see,” he nods.

“So, tell me something, you’re well off with money. Why are you still in this town? The people stay here because they can’t go anywhere else.”

“Your dad is well off but he stays.”

“He’s been in this town for decades. He can’t leave,” you chuckle.

“Same here. I grew up here.” You raise an eyebrow and he laughs. “I don’t know. I feel like there is something here for me still. Maybe someone.”

“Is that your way of telling me you’re single?”

“Maybe.”

“I see,” you copy his response.

You finish grabbing all the eggs and bring them inside with Misha. It’s time for breakfast now because your dad and Mason are going to be up soon. There are dozens of eggs so what better way than to make some omelettes with some of the fresh vegetables from the farm? 

One of your favorite apps these days is Tik Tok which your best friend introduced you to. It has all sorts of videos that can keep you entertained for hours, and some of your favorite videos to watch are prank videos. One of the ones going around is where someone is cooking eggs and decides to crack one on someone’s head instead of doing it on the counter or the side of a pan.

You look at Misha who is washing his hands with a smirk. You grab twelve eggs to cook with and set the rest of them off to the side. You take one of the eggs and swiftly crack the egg on Misha’s forehead. He flinches from shock and you hold in your giggle as you pour the egg into the pan.

You grab another egg to do it again but Misha is quick on his feet. He moves out of the way and wipes the egg whites that you left on his skin. He reaches out to touch you but you squeal and move out of the way.

“This isn’t how this works!” you laugh.

Misha grabs your waist and pulls you into him, and he teases you by hovering his slimy hands above your face. You squirm to get away from him but end up moving your body closer to him. You turn to face him and lock eyes. He looks down briefly before something changes in his body language and in his eyes. He clears his throat and steps away from you to put some distance between you two.

“I should get going.”

“Why? Breakfast hasn’t even started yet.”

“I got stuff to do.”

“Stuff?”

Just then, your dad comes jogging down the stairs because you know he smelled the eggs cooking.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” your dad asks and grabs water from the fridge.

“Helping Y/N out but I’m leaving now.”

Misha washes his hands and leaves without another word. You watch him leave with a frown as you rake your brain to figure out where things took a turn.

A few days later, your dad wanted to have a barbecue for everyone in town at the farm. He has the biggest property in town so it makes sense to turn the farm into something the entire town can enjoy. Almost everyone from town is in your backyard, and your dad sets up games for the kids to play, a small bar with a keg of beer for the adults, and lots of good food. The one job he gave you was to keep the keg stocked with beer but the one he has must have the nozzle broken because it’s not dispensing beer correctly.

Misha shows up expecting to have a good time when he spots you bent over the keg wearing short shorts and an almost see-through tank top. He clenches his jaw in frustration and storms over to you. You’re too busy to see him heading your way, and you yank the nozzle the wrong way because beer sprays all over your shirt.

“Shit,” you gasp and jump back.

Beer flows out of the nozzle so you quickly turn it off before any more goes to waste. You grab the ends of your shirt to take it off when Misha grabs your elbow.

“What the hell?”

“What? I got beer on myself.”

“Taking off your shirt with children around is inappropriate.”

“It’s not like I’ll be showing my boobs to everyone. I have a sports bra underneath this.”

“Here.” He sheds off his jacket and gives it to you to wear. “Go inside and change.”

“Yes, sir,” you say sarcastically and walk away from him.

Misha resists the urge to grab you and punish you for your bratty attitude. You’re not sure what has gotten into him these last couple of days because he’s been angry with you. You’ve tried flirting with him but nothing has come of it and you’re not one of those girls to just wait around for a guy. If he doesn’t want you, there are plenty of other men who do. There was a young man at the barbecue that you connected with and kept in touch with after the event was over.

Your dad is going to be out of town for a couple of days with your brother which means you have the house to yourself. What better way to spend your time than with the new guy you met? Misha has mixed feelings about you because you’re his best friend’s daughter. You’re unsponkingly off limits. If Jensen knew the kind of thoughts he was having about his daughter, he would kill him for sure.

Maybe if he talks to you, he can understand what he’s feeling and figure out what to do about it. He walks over to your house and uses the key Jensen gave him for emergencies only. He has to check on you anyway per Jensen’s request so he doesn’t think much when he walks inside your house. It’s usually quiet until he hears something that makes all his blood go straight to his cock.

You are moaning upstairs. 

The thing that pisses him off is he hears a man moan right after you. He should just leave but he rushes upstairs with the intent of ruining your evening. He doesn’t mean to be an asshole but he’s thinking with his downstairs brain and not his upstairs one. He practically busts down the door to see the guy you met naked on top of you.

“What the fuck!” you gasp and push the man off you.

Misha is too pissed to see that you’re fully naked in front of him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The guy you’re with stutters since he’s too scared by Misha’s presence. “Get the hell out of here.”

The guy gathers his clothes and rushes out of the room, and you pull your robe on to give you some sort of decency.

“What the hell are you doing here? Why did you run him off?” you gasp in anger.

“You know, when your dad asked me to check on you while he was away, I’d figure I see you in here drinking, maybe smoking some weed, not fucking some boy you just met.”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, I did.”

“You thought it was okay to come here close to the middle of the fucking night? You couldn’t have waited until morning?”

“I’m not going to let my best friend’s daughter get pregnant by some kid she doesn’t know.”

“I have condoms.”

“It’s irresponsible.”

“Why do you even care what goes on in my bedroom? It’s not like you’re in it,” you cross your arms.

If you’re going to do this, may as well go all out. Misha chuckles but it’s not an amused chuckle, it’s a dark chuckle like you better watch what you say next or he’ll punish you.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

The laugh you give is almost an amused one.

“An old guy like you? The only thing I won’t be able to handle is how short it’ll be. Wouldn’t want to throw out your back, now would we?”

Misha’s smirk is lost as he stalks towards you. You back up but are stopped by the dresser.

“Sweetheart, I’d ruin other men for you.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Misha looks like he wants to but listens to the rational part of his brain. He shakes his head and starts to walk away from you. “That’s what I thought.” You scoff. “I want you to leave because I have a date with my vibrator which has batteries that will last longer than you.” 

Misha snaps and turns so quickly that you don’t have time to react. He grabs your waist and tosses you onto the bed causing your robe to open enough to show your breasts. He looks down at your chest and reaches out to touch one of your breasts but resists at the last second.

“Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“I’m nineteen years older than you.”

“And?”

“You’re my best friend’s daughter.”

“And?” you chuckle.

Misha stares into your eyes to see if you mean what you say. When he doesn’t see a shred of regret he leans down and kisses you. He reaches into your robe and palms your breasts before allowing you to shred the piece of clothing. It’s passionate. It’s sensual. It’s intimate. It’s everything you want and more. He’s so much different than anyone you’ve ever been with. He takes care of you three times before he even thinks about himself; once on his tongue, once on his fingers, and once more on his cock.

It’s hours before you’re done and you pant heavily next to him.

“Yeah, you have ruined other men for me,” you laugh.

“You can’t tell your dad about this. He’d murdered me.”

“Eh, I don’t tell him a lot of things anyway.”

You lean over and kiss him again, ready for a round two.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[illmoraineakoi]

Friendly Reminder that the Vessel Eggs are Freaking Huge.

Also Obligatory Birthplace Egg is the only Egg Asset with Void Vines attached to it remark.

It was always strange to me how large Vessel eggs really are, especially because there really seems to be little need for it. Vessel hatchlings/nymphs are Tiny. Why are the eggs so big in comparison?

There seems to be waaaay too much unnecessary/excess space in each egg if there's only one Vessel per egg. Usually with eggs, by the end of the gestation period, the spawn is cramped in there with very little excess room. Extra unused space is wasteful, and biology hates being wasteful.

This is why I've personally always subscribed to the headcanon of Vessels eggs actually being more like Egg Sacs/Egg Cases than typical eggs. Both are when, for irl bugs, multiple larva/nymphs hatch from the same "egg"-like gestational container. Egg sacs are common for spiders (they make the actual sac itself with silk; here's a great video showing how one is made.) while cockroaches are know for egg cases (Here's a video of some hatching.)

Ghost's egg clearly isn't that much bigger than the other egg assets, it's just less destroyed, so it's size is a good reference for how big all of them would have been. And it's big enough for at least a handful of Vessel nymphs to have fit inside at once.

^ Case in point.

(You could probably squeeze a few more in there if you treat it more like a the sphere it's supposed to be and also depending on the horns. The main limiter are the heads/shells, since those are the hard parts* of a Vessel; Vessel nymph bodies seem to be quite squishy and flexible.)

(*= This is assuming that Vessel shells were hard during their gestation period. There is a chance they might not have been, since newly hatched nymph insects tend to have flimsy bodies for a while. The Birthplace memory shows that Vessels had hard shells at that point, and that seems really close to the point of hatching, so it seems likely that they hatched with hard shells rather than needing to wait a bit for them to harden up. Also, Vessel biology is weirdly wonky, so irl stuff doesn't really matter.)

Also, curiously, it seems Vessel eggs have two layers:

There's the outer shell, but there's very clearly a second, inner thing that has been broken out of. The different in the breaking look from the outer shell suggests this inner layer is made of a different material. The Pale King's egg lacks this, to it's at the very least unlikely to be a Wyrm thing, or at least not a Wyrm thing on it's own. It might be something unique to the union of Wyrm and Root and thus unique to the Vessels.

It could be a Root Thing, but we know jack shit about the White Lady and exactly how much she contributed to the Vessels.

I mean, we know literally nothing about how the Vessels were made besides Pale Babies Get Thrown Into The Liquid Shadow Pit To Get Stuffed With Black Goop, but that's besides the point.

There's also two alternative theories for why the eggs are so big that I'd like to touch upon: Void Swelling, and Stunted Development.

Let's go with Void Swelling first.

In snake eggs, the eggs tend to get a bit bigger by the time they hatch. Normally, it's not too much. Sometimes, however, the eggs really seem to swell up. Most people I've heard/seen talking about this think that the eggs are absorbing and retaining water from the humid incubation environment. Sometimes it's indicative of a problem; sometimes those swollen eggs start to rot, making it clear that that gestation has failed. Other times, the snake just hatches with a lot of egg goop.

It's possible that the Vessel eggs are so large because they've just been swollen up from the Void infusing into them.

Two problems with this theory: Vessels eggs are clearly hard-shelled, and hard-shelled eggs don't swell. At least, I've never heard of them doing that, but I'll admit I'm not a bird person. Perhaps some eggs got stuffed with way too much void and popped open before it was ready to hatch.

The second issue is that the Abyss is not what I would call a humid place (or, at least, it doesn't LOOK humid), and we don't see any liquid Void anywhere near where the eggs are in the Abyss. All the liquid Void we see is to the left of Vessel Corpses, and we see no egg assets anywhere on the way to and around the Lighthouse.. This makes it rather ambiguous how the Void even infused into the eggs at all, let alone if liquid Void was involved. Given how deep the Birthplace goes, it's impossible to tell what was at the bottom of that shaft before all of the corpses stuffed it up.

Unless ambient smoky environmental Void could have stuffed into the eggs enough to engorge them, which is also a possibility. Void is weird and we know little about how it works/behaves. Still unlikely due to the hard shells, but it's a theory.

The second theory is less about too much Void in the eggs and more about not enough Vessel.

It's possible that, at the time of Void infusion (and thus, death for the gestating Pale Children nymphs) the influence/corruption of the Void caused the Vessels to just stop developing. Dead things don't grow or develop after all.

Perhaps the eggs are so large because the original offspring that was supposed to hatch from those eggs were really supposed to be that large. They were supposed to be the spawn of a Wyrm and a Root combined. Even if the White Lady hadn't of been so big at the time of the Vessel Plan, she's shown she was always capable of eventually growing large. And if the offspring took aspects from PK's original Wyrm form over his dinky bugsona, which I would assume to be possible bc DNA and Genetics, then a larger size would also potentially be expected.

Or maybe some Pale Children would have gotten the Wyrm gene while others got the Bugsona gene, which is what Hornet got, and is absolutely hilarious to think about. Imagine getting riffed on by a twelve foot high sibling bc you got dad's Short Gene.

There's one issue with this theory, and that is of course, Broken Fucking Vessel. Broken Vessel always throws wrenches into Vessel theories, it's like their favorite past time.

Broken Vessel has aged. And, Hollow, more obviously, but BV is the main confusing one. Broken Vessel proves that Vessel can age on their own, without the potential influence/assistance of the King. BV proves that Vessel development isn't permanently stunted.

The most logical solution to this issue I've seen is exposure to the Void. Vessels, on a fundamental level, are made up of Void. It is intrinsically entwined with their very physiology. They're not just walking corpses stuffed full of Void and a Shade, their very flesh IS Void and that Shade.

Case in point:

BV, out of any other Vessel outside of Hollow, is the one who could have potentially come into contact with Void after leaving the Abyss. They're found in the Ancient Basin, which at the time of the game is heavily Void tainted (likely due to the Lighthouse being off and PK fucking off to Buzzsaw Land. That light had likely been the only thing keeping the Void suppressed underneath the Basin.)

PK could have used Void to supplement Hollow's growth into adulthood because Vessels probably literally cannot grow or age without it. Hence why Ghost and all the other escapee Vessels are stuck as nymphs while BV grew a tiny bit.

Of course, the solution to the BV issue also ruins the stunted embryonic development theory too. It's a rather poor and weak theory that I've included only because I though it was a bit interesting. Thinking about what the original Pale Spawn would have been like is always interesting to me.

With that, I have just one more thing to point out.

Ma'am, how the FU--

[glitterguts13]

Dan Heng struggling in labor but he’s egg-bound? 👀 Just leaving that here

Honestly, I'm ashamed of myself for not thinking of this sooner!

This isn't supposed to be happening.

"Try to relax as much as you can." another cup of warm water is poured down his aching back while Himeko whispers gentle encouragements. The bathroom was small enough, but with five people crammed inside it was downright claustrophobic.

Eyes closed, a low, pained hum slipping from his throat, Dan Heng clings a little tighter onto Caelus, face buried into his neck.

This wasn't supposed to be happening.

He wasn't supposed to be able to have children, and he certainly wasn't supposed to be egg-bound of all things.

"How far are we from the nearest port?" Dan Heng finally pulls away, dark circles under his puffy, tear-stained eyes.

"Pom-Pom says a day and a half, at the least." March paces nervously right outside the bathroom door, chewing her lip.

"I'm not going to make it another day and a half-" A strangled moan catches in his chest, a soft sob bursting out as his swollen belly contracts around the stubborn egg once more.

"You're going to be just fine," Himeko asserts, "We'll figure this out."

"It's been three days!" voice cracking with emotion, Dan Heng finally feels himself breaking down, "It's not coming out...its stuck...I'm going to die, my baby is going to die with me-" his body locks up, a long, desperate wail filling the little bathroom.

Himeko and Welt share a look, the older man carefully hooking his arms under Dan Heng's and hauling him upright. The distressed dragon struggles weakly, barely able to stand on his trembling legs. A trickle of blood trails behind him as he's taken from the warmth of the tub to the cold sheets of a nearby room.

"Stop-stop...please..." he sobs, pride crushed to dust under his feet. The egg sat heavy in his hips, the rounded bottom barely peeking from his leaking hole.

"I'm sorry...I promise, it'll be over soon." being laid onto the bed, Caelus crawls beside of him, running his fingers through his soaking wet hair and smoothing it from his plaid face.

Himeko gives an order to March before shutting the door, and Welt positions himself next to the shivering dragon. Large hands cup the top of his swollen middle, and without warning, he presses down.

Eyes going wide, legs kicking out, Dan Heng screams.

"I'm sorry, I really am," Welt clenches his teeth, pressing down once more.

"Stop! Stop! You're going to break it-!" he screams again, the right ring of muscles starts to burn as the egg is forced lower.

"It's right there...it's stuck on your hips...if we could just get it past it will come right out."

"Just kill me!" the young man sobs.

"Take his legs, hold them back and far as you can." Himeko takes one side, Caelus on the other. Dan Heng finds he lacks the strength to protest, his hips burning wildly as his legs are pulled apart and back, framing his heaving belly.

"Push with me Dan Heng," Welt orders, his hands pressing down as Dan Heng's womb contracts once more. Teeth sinking into his lip, Dan Heng throws his head back, pushing with what little power his exhausted body still held.

All at once, he feels something crack, a pop, and his head is swimming, vision blurring to black.

"Shit."

"Fuck! Was that-"

"Enough, both of you." Himeko hisses, letting go of Dan Heng's leg and pulling him close to her chest.

"It's over...it's over now." she whispers. He sobs weakly, head falling back.

"The egg-"

"Is safe. You did it, you did so well." she smiles softly, allowing Caelus to bring the round, pearlescent object into Dan Heng's line of sight.

Lying him down, she quickly hurries to the bedroom door. Tired eyes closing, all he hears his her whispering frantically to March and Pom Pom to reach the next port quickly.

His hips had broken from the force, but the egg was safe and sound.

[formula-wind]

cooking chaos — sakura haruka x gn!reader

※ short drabble, 580 words. mainly crack. platonic/close friendly relationship implied. pretty much just sakura and his fondness of omurice.

“Wait no, that doesn’t look right. Did you have the stove on high?!”

“Yeah, so it cooks faster. I’m already hungry.”

“But the omelette is burnt!”

“Shit!”

And that was yours and Sakura’s third attempt at replicating Kotoha’s omurice omelette. What was supposed to be a creamy scrambled egg-like center was dry and overcooked, and the outer layer was pretty much burnt with such a hot pan due to the long time you both spent trying to get the results right.

Hoping to somewhat salvage the failed meal, Sakura quickly flips the omelette on an empty plate you were holding; revealing the charred surface. “This is annoying to create” he mumbled, setting down the now empty pan back on the stove and turning off the heat.

“Well, we at least have decent scrambled eggs from our first two tries?” you tried to stay positive despite the devastating situation. You sure know from past experiences how frustrating it can be to not be able to cook something you’ve been craving for. Although while the solution would be to simply just go out and buy it at a shop, unfortunately for the two of you today, Café Pothos was closed as Kotoha was out of town to buy special ingredients.

“I don’t like dry scrambled eggs.” Sakura argues, arms crossed while staring holes into what is supposed to be his current lunch.

“Alright, alright mr. picky eater. Give me a few moments and I’ll see what I can do.” You laugh at the bi-color haired boy, throwing away the latest failed omelette before taking his spot in front of the stove and turning it on to a medium-low heat. “Can you set the table while I cook?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Replied Sakura as he moves to get placemats, utensils, and cups from your cupboards. He has been here somewhat often since you both became a closer pair so finding the tableware is pretty much muscle memory to him now. Furthermore, it’s a lot more spacious than his apartment for cooking—or attempting to cook, at least—which is why the two of you are here in the first place after finding out the café was closed.

Breaking a couple more eggs and stirring the scrambled batter into the pan, you quickly stir the center with your chopsticks while slightly shaking the skillet similar to the tutorials you’ve came across on social media. It didn’t take long before the outer layer turned somewhat firm to be able to fold the omelette and announce its completion. Sakura walks over to see you move the omelette over a prepared plate of rice, which you then handed to him while he studied intently.

“I didn’t put in any poison.”

“I wasn’t thinking that!” Sakura’s two-toned eyes widened, blushing in embarrassment from being caught staring. “You knew how to cook and didn’t even bother helping me.” He expresses somewhat angrily.

“Well, I would’ve if you let me help you.” You shrugged then walked to your seat at the table. Out of your vision, Sakura was pouting and mumbling incoherent words you assumed were opposing your remark before taking the seat in front of you.

“Still, thanks for cooking for me.” He expressed shyly, which made you smile in success at your attempt of satisfying his cravings. Taking his first bite, you waited expectantly for his reaction; slightly anticipating some sort of praise for such good cooking.

“It’s bland. Did you at least added salt to this?”

“Ah, dang it!”

a/n: first post! i can’t believe wind breaker was able to motivate me to write. if you have any writing requests, feel free to send them in!

[genericpuff]

Webtoon wanting LO to be "their Star Wars" is hilarious when you realize Star Wars has been a massive franchise for nearly 50 years now while LO can't even hit 6 years without becoming a laughing stock and clinging to numbers it got because of a pandemic. Rachel can't even break 1k likes on her announcement tweet for her supposed next project. come on.

it's also hilarious when you consider how divisive star wars has become especially since Disney bought it out, like idk if that's a good bar to set

like every installation with Star Wars now is either the shit or just flat-out shit LOL

and yeah the time to try and turn LO into some kind of household name franchise was years ago before it started becoming the overcooked rotten egg that it is now. it very much feels like they're trying to buy LO's way into legendary status thinking it'll make it good, not realizing that the works that are genuinely legendary status got all their franchising deals and awards because they were good (either currently or at least at one point in time). you can't just continuously throw money at a thing and expect it to spit out money twicefold purely on the basis of "well we invested everything we had into it", and yet here's Webtoons doing pretty much exactly that LMAO

[credince--writes]

The Box

Drabble for a Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader Fic

Oh, and Roach is your brother.

Total cliffhanger lol, this is a setup for angst.

A/N: I needed a break from homework. I am starting this at 10pm PST. When this playlist I'm listening to ends, the drabble ends.

....

Roach crowded into the table to sit next to Ghost and Soap, pushing the boring tray of his lunch forward as he moved to sit.

It was funny in a way, making him feel like he was in middle school again. Down to the little carton of milk he wasn't sure he'd actually drink. Maybe he would, the lady in line had pushed the cold little box into his hands. The condensation collected on his palm as he felt some kind of responsibility to finish it now- at least for the 'lunch lady'.

"Supposed to go in and see Price later." Soap comments, shoving a forkful of whatever strange combination he had ended up mashing together on his tray.

Ghost makes a noise in acknowledgment, eating methodically-

Everything the man fucking did was methodical. Roach would put money on it every time Ghost sat down to shit he had a plan set in place- bet he was a weird fucker that would tear off two squares exactly, fold over, rinse, and repeat.

Why was he thinking about this?

Maybe he should just drink his milk.

Gaz groaned from behind him, striding up and slithering into their space as he kicked a leg over to join the Sargeants- and Lieutenant in eating. "I think this is one of the stupidest batches of rookies I've seen." He exclaims, before leaning down to inhale his food.

"Don't know their dick from their toes." Soap agrees.

Roach's eyes narrowed on his tray, watching as steam rose from it. The light feeling of its heat against his face as he stared down at it.

A poking to his side broke him from his thoughts, glancing over to see Soap jabbing his arm with a fork before poking at one of his side trays and asking 'you going tae' eat that?'

He sighed, pushed his tray over to him, and watched as the scott scarfed down his food.

.....

You set your laptop down on the coffee table, rising from your seat on the couch to stretch- groan much to loud at the feeling of your muscles stretching pleasantly after slaving against numbers in spreadsheets for what felt like much to long to not be human rights violation.

What were human rights again?

Something about water, maybe.

Probably not about remote work hellscapes.

Rocking back and forth- feeling your weight collect on your toes as you pushed forward up onto the tips of your toes and feeling your ankles pop and crack respectively.

Glancing down at the laptop, then to the doorway, back down to the table, and then stepping forward to leave the room for a moment to grab a glass of anything. Soda- Cherry Pepsi, stick a straw in the glass and watch it swirl in circles with the ice as your hand reached forward, clasping around it and feeling the condensation on your palm.

From your position in the kitchen, you could see what looked like a brown and red box sitting in front of your doorstep. The two windows framing your door blur with colors you couldn't remember being there.

Setting the glass down on the kitchen counter, padding forward, and gingerly pulling the door open to glance out onto the small concrete front porch.

It was a box-

Maybe her neighbor had dropped it off?

Eggs?

No. They couldn't get in the gate-

The gate.

There's a gate.

How did the box get here?

You dropped down into a squat, eyeballing the box until your eyes fell upon a sticker slapped onto the side of the box. Eyes following, reading the typed-out font on the side.

'TO:

GARY'R'SANDERSON

FROM:

M'

You blinked, the feeling of something tense in the back of your throat that screamed something was wrong.

If someone had been here, your doorbell camera would've gone off-

Normally it would be the stray raccoon, maybe even a deer walking a yard triggering it. But why wouldn't it of gone off now? How the hell did this get here?

You stepped back, eyes never leaving the box.

The bottom left corner, on the opposite side of the sticker seemingly had a leak- the cardboard darkened around the red tape haphazardly wrapped around the box multiple times.

You know you shouldn't call him- he's working.

He could get in trouble if you called.

He probably wouldn't even pick up after your argument with him.

No.

This was wrong. Even if it was some stupid fucking prank.

Reaching back, grabbing your phone, and pressing the dial button to call your brother you waited before hanging up and calling again. It would go to voicemail the first time- his phone was on do not disturb unless called twice.

..

Roach leaned back in his seat, eyes scanning over the paper in the manila file reading over the most recent intel on finding his whereabouts.

Price continued to speak on the matter, elaborating on some intentionally vague points in the paperwork where favors for intel had been called in.

Unofficial details.

Then the unmistakable sound of his phone ringing stunned the room into silence. Price stopped and raised an eyebrow at him.

Roach's eyes widened, hands slapping against his pants until he pulled the phone out, not bothering to glance down and read who was calling before muting it.

"Something important, Sargeant?" Price asked, a semi-amused twinkle in his eyes at the calm- but ever-frantic look in Roach's body language as the phone started ringing.

"Must've been a wrong number." He replies.

Price nods, starting back on his readings.

It starts ringing again.

"Shit." Roach hisses, pulling his phone out and standing. Glancing down to see your name displayed on the screen. His eyes narrow, silently cursing your name. Accepting the call as he continued to work his way to the door, trying to squeeze back Soap who wasn't intentionally making it easy for him to leave the room with his chair slid back.

"Hello?" He asked into the mic of the phone.

"Gary, this isn't funny." Your voice- seemingly shaken voice chastised him.

He continued walking. "What? What's funny? I'm at work- you can't call unless it is an emergency-"

"Gary." Your voice stopped him.

Roach stopped, slowly turning and staring at Price. Who's eyes latched to his-

The color must've drained from his face. Something must've screamed the red flag he was feeling in your voice.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"How did this box get here?"

"I need more than that, what is happening?"

"Gary there is a box on the front porch addressed to you."

He's rushing back forward, putting his phone on speaker and planting both of his hands on the table staring that the phone screen.

"Don't take it inside- you didn't take it inside did you? Explain it more- I need more details." He starts working in overdrive- thinking of all of the things that it could mean- a bomb? Could there be a fucking bomb on her porch?

"I- I didn't take it inside. I'm inside now. It's big- it's leaking."

If his grip was any tighter he'd break the table. The whites of his knuckles were whiter than snow.

"It's addressed to me?" He asks.

"To 'GaryRSanderson-" You started "Your middle name isn't R, Gary-, is this a prank?"

"You need to get out of the house- now."

"Hey- this is John." Price steps forward, and his voice is collected, even. "Sweetheart, I need you to tell me who it was from- did the postman drop it off?"

The sound of you running through the house, the jingling of your keys.

"My camera didn't see anyone- the postman can't get in through the gate. I thought this was some prank. What's going on?"

"Do you remember how to get to the base?" John asks.

"Yea, I can get there."

"I need you to go there, we will sort it out from there. Keep talking, was there any more information on the package?"

Roach is frozen in place, the start of panic seeping into his flesh and bones. His muscles were completely tense as he stared down at the phone.

"It- All it said was 'From M'." You started.

It felt like the room dropped ten degrees.

[cyberrat]

86th Batch Of Fics: 13th Fill

Valentino/Vox – Part 2/2 – pregnancy sex; oviposition – Vox is a simple man with simple needs. He's brought his kinks with him into Hell. Can't say he isn't dedicated to his craft.

---

Vox tries to figure out whether Valentino is as much into this as he looks to be but it is kind of difficult to tell. He can fake everything too well at the end of the day – but the readings Vox can take are suggesting that the tall beauty is pretty interested, at the very least.

His temperature has spiked since Vox has slotted his cock between his tits and Valentino is more than helpfully squishing them together for him to let him carefully fuck the plush valley.

It’s only this deep and luxurious when Valentino is full of milk. Milk that is dripping over the backs of Valentino’s fingers and soaking into the fabric of the couch he’s on. It’ll give off his pheromones for months and they’ll be in a constant state of horny, but… well that is not so different to their usual modus operandi, Vox supposes.

Valentino can let his tongue snake out until it is tickling his glans, the fine tip of it flirting with Vox’ piss slit long enough that he starts getting nervous about the slut actually trying to slip it inside of him – so he takes that as his queue to pull back, sticky pre-cum connecting his cock to Valentino’s tits, then breaking and falling down to drape itself across the huge egg filled swell of his stomach.

Vox can feel himself jerk awkwardly, an arc of electricity racing down his back and filling the air with a scent of slightly burned plastic.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, fans kicking into overdrive. He hesitates for a second but then leans down enough that he can drag his cock and balls against Valentino’s stomach. He can feel the distinct swell of his eggs inside; the slightly uneven landscape that they produce through the otherwise pristine skin.

Valentino, thank fuck, doesn’t comment. At least for now. He’s just panting, his face flushed red, eyes stuck on the cool, blue glow given off by the few operational lights in Vox’ dick. He fucks against Valentino’s stomach in slow, little thrusts for long enough that he can start feeling them shift.

Valentino chirps, high-pitched and sort of… surprised, in Vox’ opinion. He drags his eyes away from watching himself make a glistening, sticky mess all over Valentino’s pregnant belly to look at his face. It is contorting slightly, a fine line appearing on his otherwise smooth forehead.

Gripping the backrest of the couch with both of his upper arm hands, he arches his back up into Vox’ fucking. Or so he thought until Valentino suddenly hisses: “Fuck! Fuck, they’re coming- f-fuck me-”

Vox blinks rapidly, systems that he had shut down to not further bother him with analytics sluggishly trying to come back online to tell him whether Valentino is actually telling him to- or if he-

He does not need his systems to analyze the situation, though, because Valentino makes it rather unambiguous by himself. He grabs Vox by the hips, another hand gripping his dick, hurriedly trying to ease him down, down, down and further toward his swollen pussy.

“Fuck me! F-Fuck me, quick- shit-”

Vox’ tongue is hanging out of his mouth, occasionally disappearing for a split second when his face glitches and then reappearing again. He can feel himself starting to drool, staring down at Valentino’s pregnant stomach and seeing his eggs moving inside. Getting ready to emerge by lining themselves up in a nice, orderly fashion-

And all the while he has to fight with his dumb fucking snake-like dick to replace it with his own cock. That Valentino keeps chirping at him shrill and with increasingly more desperation does not help.

Vox growls, his hand fisting around Valentino’s squirming, miserable dick in a strangling grasp to hold it out of the way for long enough that he can thrust inside himself. It is slimy in his grasp and winding like a damn eel, obviously dissatisfied with being ripped out of its own owner’s pussy – but as soon as Vox thrusts into him to the hilt, it seems to get the memo and calms the fuck down.

Valentino’s cunt feels soft around him. Softer than it has any right to be. Logically he knows that the other’s muscles are getting nice and relaxed to deliver those dud eggs but logic doesn’t really have any place with Valentino most of the time. Who the fuck knows why he does any of the things he does in the end?

Vox is hunched over, his screen nearly pressed against Valentino’s stomach while his hips pump in fast, animalistic little thrusts, sliding his cock through the silky, hot insides of his barely-gripping cunt.

Valentino seems to enjoy himself anyway. Or something along those lines, at least. He’s making a whole lot of noise, all four hands grasping at Vox and holding him tight enough to hurt. He barely wants to let him move enough to fuck him, it seems, though he also keeps whining about how Vox should dick him harder, deeper, put his all into breeding Valentino up when he’s so obviously already occupied.

A walking, talking contradiction. It makes Vox’ head ache. The systems he has painfully fired up again are just running in circles trying to make any sense of the whore, so he shuts them down again before his head explodes.

“V-V-Val,” he stutters through static sitting in his throat like a lump, “Y-Y-You feel so-” He trails off, no more words coming forth. Val does not seem to mind anyway. He’s still holding Vox in a tight grip, letting him move just in minimal little thrusts.

When he fucks in deep enough, he can even feel the warm, smooth, hard edge of one of the eggs starting to press down-

Another arc of electricity races through Vox’ systems, causing his head to involuntarily jerk around. He closes his eyes, trying to calm down, but it’s damn difficult when he knows that he’s finally fucking a pregnant lady just like he’s always been fantasizing about. Valentino is all that he’s ever imagined and then more.

He keeps whining for his cock, crooning all kinds of amorous filth at him, apparently mindlessly searching for whatever will dig its claws deepest into Vox’ psyche.

He’s an absolute menace.

His eggs keep moving further down and still he pushes Vox to keep fucking. Deeper. Harder.

Vox’ eyes open again. His vision is filled with static but it’s not difficult to see Valentino’s chest right there; one of his swollen, leaking teats temptingly close to Vox’ open, panting mouth.

He shouldn’t… he knows that it is a bad idea to drink it right from the source when he can smell the sweet pheromones the milk is laden with-

But he just can’t help it. Not when his own tummy is pressing against Valentino’s massively pregnant belly and he can feel his dick starting to get forced out by the egg that wants out. Now.

So he clamps his mouth down on it and starts nursing while Valentino pushes out his first egg with a high-pitched screech that absolutely must pierce through the walls of Velvette’s rooms.

He just hopes that she will be done enough with their shit to not come and investigate. He doesn’t think he’ll ever live this whole thing down otherwise.

[skaruresonic]

what were your favorite things about starline before he was ruined

Oh, God, Starline. ;A; How I miss the poor bastard.

Beyond his design, my favorite things about him included his foppishness, his showmanship, his meticulousness, his (relative) calm demeanor, his "comedic intern" angle, and his devotion to licking egg-shaped boot.

Oh, and the most prominent aspect of his character, the linchpin on which all else rests: the simpery.

I will give credit where credit is due, his simpery of Eggman coupled with his more cautious and lowkey nature (at least, compared to Eggman) offered a genuinely new and refreshing dynamic at the time. It didn't seem to come with strings attached as it usually does.

I also used to like his penchant for unintentional comedy. It seemed to be the same flavor of comedy with which they tinge some of Eggman's character.

Granted, Starline was probably always meant to be something of a buttmonkey, but later issues had him ping-pong between being Better Than Eggman(tm) and a buffoon. The constant switch made it difficult to fully invest in him in either case, because one minute we were meant to consider him a srs bsns mastermind and laugh at his failures the next. And not in the balanced way Eggman's humor generates; there were times I genuinely couldn't tell whether we were supposed to root for him or not.

And then, of course, he got crushed under rocks. Big oofed.

Starline used to be funny. Watching him rant and rave? Cry tears of joy? Make an uwu face as Rough and Tumble embarrass him in front of his idol? Funny, because it subverted his otherwise suave Bond villain image, and because you knew that eventually Eggman would crush his windpipe like a squeaky toy. Selling your soul to the devil can only end in tragedy. It filled you with a morbid sort of joy and a dark anticipation as you waited to see how bright this dumpster fire would blaze.

This was one pathetic meow-meow of a man, strange yet oddly compelling. Shame his delusions of grandeur stole away the entertaining aspects of his personality for a more boring, straight-laced character. Even bigger shame that we were supposed to pretend he never meant anything to begin with.

That's not to say Starline could never have had character development, nor that he should have remained a static character. Just as Sonic exerts a positive influence on others, show us how Eggman exerts a twisted influence. Make Starline's devotion to Eggman even unhealthier and fucked-up than it already was. Not in a "I can fix you" kind of way, but in an "I will light myself on fire to keep you warm" kind of way. To the point of self-destruction. That seemed to be the logical direction for such a character, anyway.

But nah, they had to drag us along Starline's unimpressive journey to strike out on his own. Which, like... He stole 90% of Eggman's shit anyway, so how effective was he really? And even if the whole point was that Eggman made him and he's nothing without his idol, then why did the book give him two mini-series? Has he been mentioned even once in the book since his death? Somehow, I very much doubt it.

I don't want to get into it with his creation of Surge and Kit because I'd rather pretend they don't exist, thanks. Yes, I'm aware Starline was originally conceived as their creator, but I think Flynn should have caught on that his character had changed. Realized that trying to cram him back into the original mold would only break him.

And you know what. Even after having suffered 30 issues where Starline was fucking insufferable with his whole "I'll surpass Eggman" schtick, I still felt sad for his passing.

To make matters worse, I felt foolish for my emotional investment, because dammit, I guess I was hoping his story would have culminated in something more substantial than "his favorite flowers are forget-me-nots (snicker)."

Now that I've learned that IDW can drop even their most popular characters in a heartbeat, I'm never making the mistake of even accidentally becoming invested in them again. They're not going to bother developing them or even give them a proper sendoff, so why should I continue reading?

Fs in the chat for my boy. They did him so dirty.

[stimpiess]

Thank you so much for following me. What's your favorite and least favorite Ren and Stimpy episodes?

No problem! I really like your art and stories :)

My favorite Ren and Stimpy episodes... Gosh, there's so many, this question is hard to answer!

If I had to pick one, it would be My Shiny Friend.

Such a gloomy, nightmarish, yet very fun episode (great, fitting color palette BTW)!

I like the two sided nature of this episode. Neither Ren or Stimpy is really in the right. While Stimpy's addiction to the television is concerning, it's not like Ren has the moral high ground either... he restricts when he goes to the fucking bathroom like an abusive boss, and he locked poor Stimpy in the basement for a year with no contact with other lifeforms! Do you know what that kind of solitary isolation DOES to a person?! It breaks them... I think it's worse than the time he tried to murder Stimpy in Stimpy's Fan Club, because that would at least be quick and painless, and he wouldn't have to live with trauma.

Look at Ren, weeping at and comforting Stimpy, as though he's so concerned for him. He actually thinks he's HELPING by locking him away in the pits of the basement to waste away and suffer. It's so beautifully tragic.

"Love You Stimpy" Yeah, given what Ren DOES to Stimpy in this episode, that could not be further from the truth. Or maybe he does love him in a fucked up, unhealthy way. Either way, Stimpy is still someone to be pitied. (Also I love the background music in this scene)!

The suffering begins. Note the decrepit 5'o clock shadow on Stimpy. He has been rotting in this dirty ass basement for quite some time already.

This nightmare scene always gives me the chills to think about. Not just because a distorted, heavily slowed down version of the Muddy Mudskipper song is playing in the background (love the atmosphere in this episode, did I mention that?), and the fact that we literally see Stimpy getting BLOODY eaten by Muddy, but also because of what it implies.

Stimpy has no real peers outside of Ren, who physically and verbally abuses him 24/7. Really, the only people who he can seek comfort from are idols like Muddy Mudskipper. So imagine being in a vulnerable position after being severely abused. You need someone to lean on so you can feel safe... That someone, for Stimpy, is Muddy. Stimpy states in this very episode he "loves" Muddy. Imagine that person you love, the only person you can count on to find comfort in when times are tough, the one single solace in your life, suddenly turns their back on you and beats the shit out of you and insults you. After you already had to deal with enough of that already. Not you too, Muddy! You can't be like that! You were... supposed to be... the only one... I loved... you... I thought you were different... I guess no one will love me. I have no one. Nothing...

I love the way Stimpy gets into fetal position. He's so fragile and helpless. But look at that mattress- there's clearly red blood stains on it.

This implies that Ren has been BEATING Stimpy until he bleeds during his time in the basement. I love the subtle little way they implied that. These hidden easter eggs make these episodes so rewatchable, it's like I'm uncovering a new story!

Love the dystopian, sad colors here. It looks so oppressive and I'm here for it! Stimpy looks like a helpless little kitten who has no idea where he is... I wanna hold his hand

The way Stimpy breaks when he realizes his fate. Soft, silent weeping. No hope. No soul left. No joy. Just cynicism and sadness overtake him. Poor fucking guy.

I love this episode for the two-sided conflict, the gut-wrenching atmosphere, the ways it makes you feel for Stimpy, and all the dark little implications about the characters in their situation. Everything I like to see in a Ren and Stimpy episode bundled up into one package.

Episodes like Ren Needs Help, Stimpy's Fanclub, Double Header, It's a Dog's Life, and Life Sucks are also enjoyable to rewatch for similar reasons. Stimpy's Invention is also one of my favorites but it's been talked about to death so I won't talk about it here.

Now, as for my least favorite episodes: It's rare I have any episodes in this show I actually dislike, so I will just list them off:

Untamed World: So boring and slow. The joke is "look, all the animals on the island look like ren and stimpy!" Repeat for the entire episode.

Hard Times For Haggis: Character nobody cares about gets the spotlight and all the pity while Ren and Stimpy who are supposed to be the main characters get sidelined. Lame. They spend most of the bloody episode bound and gagged, they have no fucking agency! Who the hell even likes Haggis, he's just a guy who is also a Scottish stereotype, and he's ugly lol...

Sven Hoek: An absolute fan favorite... Why? I'll copy paste what I had to say about Sven Hoek (both the character AND episode) from a deviantART comment I made a while back because he doesn't deserve the extra effort.

"his voice is annoying, he's ugly, he and stimpy have no chemistry whatsoever and don't play off each other at all (anything sven likes, stimpy likes too, it's like watching a two-headed idiot talk to himself. i like stimpy and ren's dynamic more because it provides more contrast).

there is nothing to like about him. as dumb as stimpy is, at least there are other things to like about him, like his kindness, compassion, willingness to help others and talent as an inventor. he's not completely worthless as a person.

what the fuck does sven provide? the only thing he does is be stupid and derp around with stimpy for 22 minutes. he is a waste of space with not a single worthwhile thought or action to bring to the table. i wish ren really did rip his lips out and tear his arms out of the sockets and gouge his eyes out! xd"

This episode basically had no plot. Sven and Stimpy fuck around, that's it. The only entertaining part of this episode is the ending. I liked seeing Ren threaten and verbally assasinate Sven and Stimpy. The characters all going to hell after Ren whizzed on the electric fence was funny too.

Ren's Brain: This is a rare time where I am sympathetic to Ren. This entire episode is about Stimpy intellectually crippling Ren and taking advantage of that for his selfish benefit. I admire Stimpy's intellect in regards to his neuroscience and outsmarting Ren, but the way he treats him like a puppet is not fun to watch. It's cruel. Cruelty is not in Stimpy's character. Why did he do something like that?

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to dump my thoughts out onto the internet like that! I really enjoyed it and I hope to see more asks like this in the future!

[anewnewcrest]

What kind of lessons is Martha teaching those kids? Bankruptcy?! Is the Matthews family secretly full of financial criminals lol

This is - unfortunately - an absolutely Fundie-accurate easter egg. *takes deep breath* Rant incoming in 3, 2, 1...

The IBLP (Bill Gothard's cult that the Duggar and Bates families used to follow, and some still currently follow) used so-called Wisdom Booklets (Content Warning: EVERYTHING, and they specifically talk about sexual assault and abuse in the most horrendous fashion possible. I am not kidding here. Also, be prepared to lose a few IQ points) as their homeschooling materials. The way these booklets of making people actively dumber worked is that every child from kindergarden to high school graduate worked with the same booklet, and learned the same lesson as a family, with the mother providing differentiation (meaning she's responsible for breaking it up and supplementing the materials and teaching it in ways that a 5y/o and an 18y/o and everyone in between can get something out of it, which is something even teachers with actual fucking degrees and shit would struggle with in that situation, with those materials). A family was also supposed to work through all booklets in a year, and then just repeat every year, so if you spent your whole school career homeschooled, you'd repeat these booklets 13-ish times or so. This obviously did not work for a lot of reasons, and led to disastrous educational outcomes, not least because the booklets are also factually inaccurate (like, basic 7th grade math is just... plain wrong), horrific from a didactics standpoint, and read like a 12 y/o with a thesaurus was supposed to mock up an educational resource. They also indoctrinate children into the cult, by - for example - telling children that abuse is their fault and that they need to forgive their abuser, or that they're supposed to be willing to die for their faith, amongst other horrible things.

Enter the first Duggar TV Special, 14 Children and Pregnant Again from 2004. At 21:12, the Duggar homeschooling setup is shown, and they are using this Wisdom Booklet (#35) whose "Law" (basically, indoctrination into cult rules but make it seem biblical and universal) section is about Bankruptcy to scare good cult children into never even touching a credit card, because people who have debt are stupid, lazy, greedy, proud, and impatient. No, no, this is not a fucking joke. I'm not making this shit up.

Which leads to the somewhat only famous moment where little Joy Duggar, who's about five years old and busy adding a pretty border to her worksheet because she doesn't understand a fucking word about bankruptcy and also doesn't particularly care, because again, she's five fucking years old, gets told by her mother, "Joy, bankruptcy doesn't mean you go to the bank."

So, to make a long story short, this is why 7y/o Madison Matthews knows about bankruptcy! Because fundies teach their children that!

[aparticularbandit]

The Illusion of Choice: Junko Enoshima and Conjunction Junction

Summary: The imminent frustration of having to teach every single one of these characters what a fucking joke is sets Junko on edge.  Did their creator not program them to understand jokes?  Did the player character not make jokes?  What sort of game doesn’t involve a good ribbing between club members every now and again?

Ugh.

Chapter Rating: T. Fic Rating: M because, as has been stated, this is a Danganronpa/Doki Doki Literature Club crossover, and given the content of both, this is inevitable.

AO3

previous chapter | next chapter

“I was told there would be cupcakes.”  Junko crosses her arms as Sayori leads her into an empty room.  “And a club.  You’re not just making all this shit up to get more alone time with me, right?  Because you don’t have to make up an entire club just to—”

“I’m not!”  Sayori waves her hands between them and backs up, an awkward grin on her face.  “I didn’t make anything up!  I—”

Junko clocks out of whatever Sayori says next.  It was a joke.  She knows Sayori isn’t making the whole club up, not after that conversation with Monika two days ago.  Or one day ago, if the repetition of Sayori’s lines says anything about the day when she met Monika.  It might as well have been erased from everyone else’s memories.  The game must lock Junko into a single day loop until she finally joins the club – or at least tells Sayori that she will, apparently.

How unfortunate for Monika.  An entire conversation.  Gone.

(Yeah, right.  Something tells her Monika remembers everything that happens.  Even if no one else does.  Equally unfortunate.)

Regardless, the fact that Sayo-chan doesn’t realize that her bestest friend forever is joking maybe says something about the quality of their relationship.

Or about the relationship the game expects them to have had before it began.

Either way, ick.

So instead of focusing on the continued rambling of her game-assigned bestie, Junko lets her gaze scan the room around them.  It looks just like the classroom she’d been in before.  Someone must have decided to just reuse art assets instead of making each area look different.  Lazy.  There’s not really much detail to the room; sure, the player is supposed to be paying attention to the characters and not the general atmosphere, but why not put in fun easter eggs or potential cheat codes?  Some people live for that sort of thing.

How boring.

As she scans the room, the door to the classroom slams open, and a girl with short actually bubblegum pink hair and eyes the same color as her hair parades in.  (It surprises Junko that she’d though Sayori’s hair was the right color, when this girl’s is – like maybe she hadn’t seen the right shade of pink in so long that she’d forgotten.  But how could she forget the color her hair was supposed to be?  (Easily enough.  Bitch, thy name is Chiaki.))  The girl carries a tray covered with an opaque plastic top and carefully sets it on the teacher’s desk as Monika follows her through the door.

“Natsuki!” Sayori squeals out.  “Don’t slam the door open—”

“I kicked it.  My hands were full!  What was I supposed to—”

“I could have opened it for you,” Monika interrupts, the only one of them to actually complete her sentence.  “When you kick the door open like that, you could break something.”

The new girl – Natsuki – rolls her eyes. “But I didn’t.  So it’s fine.”  Then her gaze lands on Junko.  “You’re the new girl?”  She smiles, and a fang peeks out of one corner.  “At least you’re not a boy.”

Sayori holds her hands up in front of her and bounces a few times as she says, “Did you think Ryo-chan was a—”

“Junko.”

“—boy?”

“Well, duh.” Natsuki crosses her arms.  “Ryo­-chan.  Sounds like a dude to me.”

“It’s Junko,” Junko repeats again, her teeth gritting together.

Natsuki turns to her.  “What is?”

Junko’s eyes grow dark.  “My name.  It’s Junko.  Enoshima Junko.  NOT Ryo-chan.  So quit fucking calling me that.”  She turns to Sayori and glares at her.  “Got. it?”

Sayori quivers under her heavy gaze.  “Sorry, Jun-chan!  I just….  I forgot!”  She taps her head with her hand and offers up an awkward smile.  “I…I don’t remember when you changed it—”

“I have never been….”  Junko takes a deep breath.  “That.  I’ve only ever been me.”  She pinches the bridge of her nose again.  “You would think,” she mutters under her breath, “that my bestest friend ever would know that.  But no.  No.  You have to call me—”

A hand lands on Junko’s shoulder and gives it a little squeeze.  She glances up to see—

Nothing.  There’s no one there.  Just the feeling of someone trying to be comforting but continuing to do absolutely nothing to fix the situation.

Chiaki, you fucking bitch, you did this on purpose.  I know you did this on purpose.

“Jun-chan,” Sayori murmurs.  “I’m sorry.  I won’t forget again.”  She tries to offer her another, just as awkward smile.  “Okay?”

“Whatever.”  Junko sighs.  She moves away from Sayori, who keeps trying to meet her eyes, and leans up against the wall just next to one of the windows.  Then she crosses her arms and tilts her head back as she focuses on the new girl.  “You’re Natsuki?”

Natsuki nods.  “Tsumiki Natsuki.”  Her eyes narrow.  “Don’t call me cute.”

Junko raises an eyebrow.  “Or what?”

“Or I call you Ryo-chan.”

The very idea sends rankles up Junko’s back, but she can’t fault it.  Game recognizes – well, not game, because none of these characters are going to be on her level, but she can at least recognize equal pettiness.  “Fair.”  She shrugs.  “You’re not all that cute anyway.”

Natsuki stares at her, as though trying to decide if Junko’s being serious or just joking.

The imminent frustration of having to teach every single one of these characters what a fucking joke is sets Junko on edge.  Did their creator not program them to understand jokes?  Did the player character not make jokes?  What sort of game doesn’t involve a good ribbing between club members every now and again?

Ugh.

It’s fine.  She’ll learn the in-jokes and whatever humor their creator seems to run on – everyone has some sense of humor, even if it’s incredibly dry, even if someone else might consider it humorless – and in a game that focuses on character interaction and club dynamics, there has to be one somewhere.  She just has to find it.

Or, you know, make them adjust to hers.  Whichever bends the game to her will more easily.  (You’d think that would be adjusting the characters’ sense of humor to her own, but often playing within the bounds of the game will be much more effective than demanding it cater to her.)

“Well, Enoshima-san.”  Monika moves over to her with an outstretched hand, endlessly formal.  “I know we’ve already met, but I’m Ikusaba Monika.”

If Junko didn’t internally flinch when Natsuki introduced herself as Tsumiki, then she does now.  Her eyes narrow.  “You’re kidding me.”

Monika’s brow furrows.  “Is there something wrong?”

“No.  Nothing.”  Junko lies through her teeth, knows that it’s easy to tell that she is, and grits her teeth before her eyes flick not so subtly upward.  Then, she relaxes, grins.  “Moni-kun.”

Monika’s eyes widen.  “Wait—”

But Sayori interrupts, clapping her hands together so loud that it might as well be a thunderclap in the silence surrounding them.  “Moni-kun!  That’s amazing!”  She turns to Natsuki.  “Don’t you think that’s cool?”

“I could have thought of that.”

But as Natsuki pouts, Junko’s lips curve into a much more smug expression.  She slaps her hand into Monika’s and squeezes tight, then leans in and whispers, “Mono-kun.”

The change in the nickname doesn’t seem to shake Monika as much as the first version did.  Of course.  There’s nothing about Monokuma or Ultimate Despair in this game; she doesn’t have to go through its entire code to know that.  Even if there was, Chiaki would have scrubbed it clean before putting Junko in here.  But it’s still fun to force it into the space.  It might just be for her own personal benefit – a reminder of something that shouldn’t exist – but it’s there all the same.

(Or she could drop it entirely.  Give herself that little booster shot of despair every time she has to remember.  Chiaki might not be right about the game being made for her, or whatever, but the constant drip of despair might be.)

Then, while Monika squeezes Junko’s hand just as tight (but still isn’t nearly as painful because Monika doesn’t know how to use her shorn nails), the door to the clubroom opens again, a fourth girl walks in, and whatever petty fascination Junko has with Monika disappears.  She can’t see much through Monika, who stands directly in front of her, but she knows that height, and she knows that hair.

Mikan?

As Junko drops her hand, Monika turns.  “Yuri!  You’re running a bit late today.”

“O-oh, no.”  The girl with deep purple hair moves into better view as she carries a tray of tea over to the teacher’s desk and sets it just next to the tray Natsuki set there.  “I was here early, b-but you said….  Sayori said we would have a…a new member today, so I just thought….”  She blushes a bright, bright red and gestures to the tea before hiding behind one of her long strands of hair.

Not Mikan.

Seeing her now – her hair not disheveled and uneven, the darker saturation of its color (and that of her eyes as well) – Junko is surprised she ever mistook her for the woman she—

“Enoshima Junko,” she says by way of introduction, pushing herself past Monika with her hand outstretched.  “Moni-kun called you Yuri?”

“Y-yes.”  Yuri blushes an even brighter red.  “Matsuda Yuri.”  She takes Junko’s hand, then glances up and meets her eyes.  “It’s a…a pleasure to meet you, Enoshima-san.”

Ah.

Junko smiles – soft – and says, “You don’t need to be so formal.  Call me Junko.”

Yuri’s blush remains as she averts her eyes.  Her hand is soft, gentle, and warm from carrying the tea.  For a moment, just a moment, Junko is sure that Yuri rubs her thumb along the back of her hand.

That moment is lost when Natsuki slams the top of the table behind them, and Yuri jumps away, dropping Junko’s hand as she does.  “Great,” Natsuki says.  “You’ve met everyone.”  She grins, that canine poking out over her lips.  “I made cupcakes.”

Behind them, Sayori squees.  She comes to the front, accidentally separating Junko and Yuri even more as she does.  “Cupcakes!”  She turns to Junko with a huge grin.  “Natsuki makes the best cupcakes, Jun-chan!  You’re going to love them!”

“I won’t be eating—”

“You should eat one,” Monika murmurs, sidling up on her other side.  “To be polite.”

Natsuki glares at both of them.  “Don’t eat it to be polite!  If you don’t want one, don’t eat it!  But you’re missing out!”  She crosses her arms and grins.  “I’m a master chef, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

“Once in a lifetime when you make cupcakes for every special occasion,” Mikan Yuri mutters under her breath.

Immediately, Natsuki’s glare moves to her.  “What did you say?”

“N-n-nothing.”

“Good.”  Natsuki takes the opaque plastic top from her tray with a bright smile.  “Look!”

But Junko isn’t looking at the cupcakes.  (They’re cute, and they look like kittens.  Natsuki’s a good cupcake artist, sure, but that doesn’t mean the cupcakes will taste good.  It doesn’t matter.  She’s not eating one.)  Instead, she’s focused on Yuri, who moves to one side of the table to start pouring the tea.  She walks over to join her.  “How do you take yours?”

“A little cream, no sugar.”  Yuri doesn’t glance up.  “Sugar can enhance the natural flavor, but I find it makes the tea far too sweet for me, especially when paired with Natsuki’s cupcakes.  Having something a little bitter makes the whole so much better, don’t you think?”  Then she flinches.  “S-s-sorry.  I don’t know what came over me—”

“It’s fine,” Junko murmurs, smiling as Yuri blushes again.  “I like mine the same way.  All that sugar makes my teeth ache.”

Yuri nods to the cupcakes.  “They are very good, though.  Natsuki…she puts a lot of thought into them.”  But her eyes darken as they drop.  “They’re very…cute.”

“I heard that!”

~

The rest of the meeting goes…easily.  Not poor, not well, just easy.  Like the introductory phase of a—

“Did you put me in a fucking dating sim?” Junko rails at her empty bedroom when she returns.  It’s the spot of silence in a day that feels as though it’s been full of people, and she’s tired – so tired.  She hates this.  They aren’t even real people, and they’re wearing the names of people she loves, even if they don’t know it.  The worst part is that their names don’t even match!  Monika is nothing like Mukuro, Natsuki is nothing like Mikan, and Yuri is nothing like—

Junko’s eyes narrow.

“How much scraping did you do to pull all of that out, huh?”

Chiaki sighs behind her.  “I didn’t modify the game, Jun-chan.”

At her words, Junko whirls to her, eyes narrowing.  “It’s not fair that of the two of us, you’re the one who can appear and disappear at will.  You said you put us both here, and you aren’t even playing.”  She leans forward.  “You and Sayori would be such good friends.”

“We would be, I think,” Chiaki admits with a nod, “but the girls all like whoever joins the club.  It’s a function of the game.”

“Yeah.  Because it’s a dating sim.”  Junko glares at Chiaki, who first leans back against and then finally sits on Junko’s bed, tucking her feet underneath her.  “You think getting boned down is going to fix me?  Me?”  She laughs.  “Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t.  You’d know that if you paid attention to any of those memories you mined from me.”

“I didn’t mine any of your—”

“Don’t fucking lie to me.”

Chiaki shrugs.  “I won’t if you don’t.”  She glances around the room.  “I didn’t do anything to you that I wasn’t programmed to do, other than putting you in a different game, and even that is programming.  This one suits you better than the island and gathering hope fragments; that’s all.”  Then she pats the bed next to her.  “Do you want to talk, or just to yell at me?”

“Yell.  Glare.  Call bad names.  Give you shit for—”  Junko yawns and covers her mouth with one hand.  “Nope.  That’s all getting pretty boring.”  She sighs.  “Even being petty loses it’s charm after a while.  I could think of a hundred thousand ways to kill you, but the moment the execution happens, I’ve already thought it out, and it loses its appeal.  The shock value’s there for a viewer, sure, but I don’t need the real thing.”

“Sure, you do.”  Chiaki meets her eyes levelly.  “If you don’t really kill me, how do you feel any despair from my death?”  She pushes herself from the bed and brushes her skirt.  “Are you enjoying the game, at least?”

“No.”

Chiaki smiles.  “You are, I think.  Or you wouldn’t be so mad about it.”  She glances up.  “I need to go.”

Junko rolls her eyes.  “Of course, you do.  Can’t stay and have a good chat with your friend, Jun-chan, who you’ve locked into—”  As she continues, Chiaki disappears again, fading completely from view.  To be honest, she isn’t surprised, and if she’s even more honest with herself, she’s glad she’s gone.  She flops back onto her bed and stares up at the Rocky Horror Picture Show poster tacked to her ceiling.  “Oh, Frank-N-Furter,” she sighs.  “We’re really in it now.”

Except she knows that this, being just the beginning, isn’t in it at all.

This is coming in during the Time Warp sequence.  This isn’t even the arrival of Frank-N-Furter himself.  This is all lead up.

Everything after this is the real game.

(She hates it here.)

POLL HERE

[russelldworld]

PREDICTIONS FOR FAN REACTION TO Ranma 1/2 anime

1st - It'll be big, Like at least as big as Netflix's other big anime shows (this is partially more based on hope than anything though I do think it breaks into the top ten) and will manage to get four seasons that adapt the manga with minimal trimming. (that last parts more a wish, but if this anime gets TWO unfinished adaptations I will kill a man) 2nd - Invest in Hibiki, guy's already popular in the fan circles but I wholly expect new fans will latch onto him like. If he dose not spawn at least one meme I will be sourly disapointed

3rd - While the dub will largely skirt the issue of Ranma's gender identity (which is good, don't try and force LGBT narratives where their aren't any) expect at least a few puns about eggs or something and some winks to the LGBT fans. If we reach the ending of the manga, expect the dub to veer closer to the lines of the popular fan translation than the official (the former has Ranma accept his curs and 'part of him' the latter has him admit saving Akane was more important) Fin be me, the joke hits harder with the other. 4th - conversely though if the anime gets to Konotsu, and the official Japanese uses male pronouns or exclusively gender neutral, and the dub uses female pronouns, prepare for a shit storm. 5th - Happosai will be surprisingly popular as a manifestation of anime fan's perverted lust for characters. The fact he's supposed to be unlikable and is feared by much of the cast will absolve him of the complications characters like Rosh and Minnet get, and the internet will mostly embrace him as a love to hate him pervert.

6th - Conversely Moose will be villanized by the fandom as a stocker who can't take a hint. And since unlike say Kuno, where his lack of ability to take a hint is part of a joke, fan works will have a tendency to treat him very harsh.

7th - Genma/Soun will be a surprisingly popular ship. It's basically a less messed up version of Willam/Henery, and people are far more interested in seeing two old men bone now that in the early 00s

8th - the one off male characters (Ryu, Shinnosuke, Herb, and Saffron) Will be surprisingly popular alongside Taro if we get to em. Expect at least one gender flip Au where Ranma's herem is made of these guys.

9th - A Male Akane Au, be it cis or Trans, will be popularized by a one off comic that catches on on twitter. 10th - P*rn, so much P**rn, even if it's less horny than both the original anime or the manga just... so much p**n of theses idiots.