#shipper idiocy

[eye-of-yelough]

love bringing neve n lucanis on each others quests. the writers may have been too cowardly to give us polyamory but at least i can have a “couple and a third guy (gn) who’s also there” thing

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

to all you freaks (derogatory to the most extreme degree) that keep shipping freya and milo together, just know that i am rooting for your downfall and hiring a hitman as we speak

[terrific-togekiss]

*People will treat fictional characters like real people and treat real people like fictional characters then get mad at you for knowing the difference

Re Fandom Problem #5771

Y'all gotta stop saying, "More men would identify as bi!" and say "more bi men would come out!"

Another issue to add is so many acts like being bi is an inherent trait in every man, and he's just too much of an insecure weirdo to come out.

Which is plain ridiculous. And like that post said, it keeps more in the closet.

It's funny how much more accepting of fictional bi men much of those same people are. I rarely ever hear them get this nonsense.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[layyeschips]

Patron Ghost King AU #2

A sort of continuation to this

"hey bats, I think your kid's broken" "hn" "what's green flavour?" "what's a poptart?" "dude you don't know what a poptart is?!?!?"

Tim couldn't be bothered to figure what came from who, not when he's just trying to block out the unnecessarily bright lights of the watchtower. So he did the thing that any other self respecting tired student™️ would do, which is tossing the spare oreo he had in his suit pocket onto the hastily drawn summoning circle that one John Constantine brought with him on a piece of paper.

Now the last thing the League was expecting to happen was the lights dimming and green smoke coming from the printer paper that John took from who knows where.

---------------------------

Danny doesn't usually do this much paperwork in one sitting but someone just left a full mug of coffee on his shrine in hopes of being able to finish their assignment on time so he might as well finish the small pile he has on his desk. Ever since he accidentally gained a following he could taste the offerings and even feel the strong emotions from each one of them. It's not a really a big deal, pushing waves of calm/relax/focus doesn't take much energy and the offerings are nice too. So when he felt the pull of a summoning followed by drowsiness, exhaustion and the familiar taste of a stale oreo, who was he to reject the call of one of his favourite humans?

First of all, kind of rude to be summoning your patron by using such a small summoning circle but he'll cut the poor student some slack. Secondly, bright lights were definitely no good for this sleep deprived human, he'd probably be more comfortable if Danny turns it down a bit. The room full of heroes and magic users were unexpected but, hoLY- IS HE IN SPACE????? Did he say one of his favourites? He meant his number 1 favourite.

Sorry this was a bit short but feel free to write down/comment your own additions to this au. I also don't mind if anyone wants to write their own fic based on this but do tag me if you do!

Also sorry if I missed some tags, I tried. I won't be doing a tag list in the future because I don't want there to be people who are left out

[tag list] @gin2212 @jaggedheart11 @amercurio @raven-6-10 @onlyhereforthechaos @booklover9114 @fisticuffsatapplebees @overtherose @impulsiveasshole @shorterthanadverage @mimilikey @mnemovoid @chip-thief @mouzerequis @thegatorsgoose @spectralstardustandphantomnights @malice-of-the-sunrise @temporalhunter @nappinginhell @idkmrpianoman @vythika96 @seraphinedemort @meira-3919 @avelnfear @akikkobara @addie-lover-of-stories @ghostface3100 @yurineko135 @sjrose1216 @proper-idiocy @screamingtofillthevoid @sailor-goddess @the-legal-shipper @alcorbearson @dannyphantomphan @lady-time-lord- @starlightcat04 @liedboutmurder @jerithe @dixiwoods @gamma-radio @mirellacoco @blankliferain @violetfox2 @nexux-point

[infinityinakiss]

i think every person that said "the caitvi shippers couldn't handle diana and leona, the true doomed yuri" need to come apologize to me right now because no one warned me how truly fucking dumb they are, like what do you mean they're not together? the sun and the moon represent the harmonious balance of the universe, of course their aspects would be literal soulmates, but nooooo these idiot lesbians had to be fucking stupid and fight each other instead of recognizing that the whole fucking universe is screaming at them to keep fucking kissing, for fuck's sake.

i was expecting something like "oh their powers are keeping them apart, they must love each other from afar like the sun and the moon do" not stupid lesbian idiocy, what the fuck.

[onesidedradiostatic]

My worthless Radiostatic headcanon is that Vox met Alastor because he was new to hell and captivated by the pretty redhead at the bar swigging gin and was flabbergasted that nobody was asking him to dance. He was also equally oblivious to everybody else at the joint shitting their pants as this absolute NOBODY approached the Radio Demon for a dance. And Alastor who was bemused by his ignorance and idiocy can still admire someones moxxie and agreed to dance. And listen, this is mostly because with all these great shipper tag names I can't help but call their past partnership "electro-swing." So yes they danced to something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3hjodKJTRs. Suffice to say Vox was enamored and Alastor was surprisingly amused and it was the start of both of them chasing that high.

HAHAHA I like this, there's like so many different ways to imagine their first meeting, and like imagine this being like. okay you know how he probably couldn't openly like men in life but once he landed in hell he realises it doesn't matter anymore (depends on if you interpret him believing himself to be straight(tm) and closeted prior or he already knew but just couldn't act on it openly), so he's freshly landed, walks into a bar and just walks up to the first cute guy he sees cause he no longer has to hide it LMAO. he gets what he wants (the dance) for NOW, but of course, getting what he wants doesn't last forever, and he was kinda doomed from the start when he made a beeline to making moves on the aroace guy.

also part of me is going like. this is the 1950s. electro-swing didn't exist then. (just roll with it anyways. just roll with it anyways. just roll with it anyways.)

^^(link in ask)

[blastaway2004]

Zutara shippers are truly braindead.

I really don’t know what more I can say here. I already talked about how Bryke saying Aang and Katara’s relationship was INITIALLY “like a kid crushing on a babysitter” was an INITIAL pitch bible idea that was scrapped in the final show as Katara clearly harbors feelings for Aang and views him as an equal (NOT someone to look after like a baby).

These Zutara fanatics are so desperate and pathetic that they take an out of context statement and information from people they don’t even like, and cling to this thinking it’s some checkmate, because they’re still bitter Bryke didn’t give into their middle school delusions and entitlement.

This loser in particular is jumping through hoops and reaching for the moon trying to make Aang and Katara’s relationship as problematic as possible claiming it to be “pseudo-incestuous” because “Katara viewed Aang as a little brother for most of the series” and “their dynamic had mother-son vibes”, both statements are objectively, factually incorrect. No matter how these clowns try to rationalize it. It just makes this idiot look stupider than they probably are.

Oh and of course all comments disabled. So they can remain in their safespace and no can point out their idiocy.

ZeeK freeks like these are something else, man. Not a single good take from these guys. Why can’t these fake fans go find another show to watch instead of whining for almost 20 years about their mid-ass ship not being canon.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking part in testing a stranger a few years ago?

Sounds worse than it is but I just want to ask. Long story bear with me. Fake names, all of us were 19-21 when it happened.

I'm in a very close friend group where we all share multiple fandoms, went through all kinds of discourse hell and fandom drama together for years. We're closeknit and we only get closer with time. One of the pillars of this group is Pearl who I deeply admire. Pearl is popular because she has good meta analysis and she's a vocal progressive just like everyone else in the group. All of us are popular to some degree but she's the most eloquent among us.

A few years ago we were hosting a group chat session to discuss a new show, Pearl was the host and she posted the invite for anyone to join. A new account named Ruby who was following some members of our group for a while, joined the chat along with a some other unknown people and a few mutuals. The chat had about 20 people, don't remember the exact number. So it was Pearl, her friends including me, some mutuals, some new people- all from Sauce fandom.

We were really happy to see so many Sauce fans like the new show. We were having fun until Pearl brought up shipwar from Sauce fandom for the sake of a mutual who was out of the loop. It was a mayo/ketchup vs ketchup/mustard drama and we were fans of mayo/ketchup. We were all shitting on the delulu ketchup/mustard shippers when Ruby said she was one of them. Pearl immediately showed her shitty takes from mustard fans, screenshots of anon hate Pearl got and some other things I can't remember. She asked for Ruby's opinion on those.

I admit Pearl was a little bit condescending, but at that time I was too busy agreeing with her and laughing about mustard/ketchup shippers' idiocy. I was giving more examples to support Pearl in case Ruby decided to counter. Ruby on the other hand laughed and said she also thought those anons were obnoxious and said she was only a casual fan. Pearl said she was relieved because these days you can't trust mustard/ketchup shippers to be normal. We went back to the original topic.

That was over, but I kept an eye on Ruby and I remember she unfollowed Pearl after a few days. I brought it up later a couple times when new members of our group became mutuals with Ruby. And one of them was outright making fun of her for being a little simpleton but we grew up and had other things to talk about.

Then I saw Ruby left Sauce fandom for Fruits fandom where she became a little more popular for meta discussions. She's still friends with a couple people from my group who are casual fans of Fruits. She sometimes shows up on my dash for general fiction takes I agree with. All good. But yesterday I saw her talking to her friends about something friendship and virtue signalling related, she said it was weird how many times she's been "tested" by fellow fans including people who she knew for years, and she thought maybe it was because she came off as dumb and oblivious. She implied She never needed to test anyone.

Now I don't know about other times Ruby was tested but I remembered the story from above when I was one of the strangers testing her and I'm wondering if it was a bad thing to do? I can see why she thought it was maybe rude. But it is true that many shippers happen to have dumb takes and I'd rather not waste my time, rival shipper or not. It's not even a big deal.

So Was I the asshole?

PS thank you for reading the full story and sorry I will not say the real names of Sauce fandom or its ships, none of us go there anymore.

What are these acronyms?

[sgiandubh]

Why isn’t there a release date, trailer or official image for Cait’s new film? It’s unusual.

Dear Unusual Anon,

The film has officially been released at the TIFF 2024 festival, which is not that unusual for a relatively small, indie production.

I found the answer to your question, dealing with a release date 'in a theatre near you' in last Friday's Guardian:

Benjamin Lee, The Guardian's movie critic, gave The Cut a 2-star review, which found C's performance remarkable - a very good omen, but confirms my thoughts on her being grossly miscast:

[Source: https://www.theguardian.com/film/article/2024/sep/06/the-cut-movie-review-orlando-bloom]

Note the 'Outlander's Caitriona Balfe'. Surely those parochial fans did not do her any favor, with their ridiculous T-shirts. If anything, it showed one more time C is still an enigma to the mainstream media, at best tethered to her Claire Fraser performance, and almost an unfair afterthought to some critics. I wish those women could understand the difference between 'fangirling' and 'turning a premiere into a circus performance'. I am not holding my breath, though - idiocy is one of the most disruptive forces in the entire Universe.

You will have a theatre release date, a trailer and all the usual goodies once they find a good distributor, Anon.

PS: Shipper Mom accidentally watched Money Monster last week, while I was at the office. She told me C was 'absolutely wonderful, but I so wished to see more of her'.

[ren-rambles-often]

I finally watched Code Geass but before I get to my short rant about the show and the ship you can pretty much guess this is about…. Let me just say….

This show peaked at the pseudo incest brocon subplot, I'm taking no arguments!

Fine, fine, that's definitely not entirely true but Rolo's death had me pausing the show and staring at the screen like for what reason?! Let the boy be hopelessly obsessed goddammit 😭😭😭

Now I've gotten that out of my system…

Guess who's the character I hate most?

shocker I know/sarc

I haven't hated one half of my otp ship in a piece of media this much since that one Episode Nagi panel of Reo's heart getting destroyed by Nagi's dumbass (Reo my love love I'd treat you so much better)

Suzaku's case is worse by several degrees because his idiocy and attitude only continued to stoke the flames of my annoyance for the whole two fucking seasons until like the three or two episodes at the end cause oh my fucking God I cried.

(That shit was a wild ride enough nothing is making me watch any spin offs or side stories I care that little)

From the first moment he entered that Lancelot suit and agreed to help the side that attempted to silence him by murder, I clocked his ass and marked him as the dumbest bitch to ever exist but we love a protective loyal dog Top don't we ladies?

"I want to change the system from the inside-" bitch shut up these are colonizers you ain't changing nothing 😭

Even after they they tried pining the murder on him to sentence him to death AGAIN!! BOY WENT BACK.

AND!

He refused Zero?!

HUH?!?

Now I'm not a particularly patriotic person (I hate my county so so much) but if we got neo colonized, No matter what merits I would never be friendly or cooperative with the other side.

Suzaku stopped his country fighting back (valid reason or not I don't remember, he killed his dad and that meant surrender ig) and proceeded to kiss up to brits, fall in love with one of them, and further hinder every attempt of his own people fighting back because 'Violence wrong' but it's okay when he does it because some made up ideal told him being subservient would make a change. And it did….just for him tho, all other 11s? no one cares.

And it didn't even matter because Lulu's methods were always the ones that brought things closer!

I know it's a kind of a commentary on something, I ain't stupid but I was still pissed.

Literally had me gritting my teeth almost every time he stepped on screen, especially when he went pseudo emo after becoming a knight of round or whatever.

Bottom line, he frustrated me as much as he did Lelouch but I still wanted to see them FUCK.

The last couple of episodes where genuinely the best things I've ever watched and a brilliant end to the series. I wouldn't say I grew to enjoy all the characters but God did the plot threads keep me going.

Trust I understood very little about the gate shit and the killing God aspect but when you're having a fun time everything just looks good.

To sum up SuzaLulu…

Giving me friends to enemies to lovers (correct me not I won't hear you) All mixed together with the palpable hatred and vitriol they held toward each other is just too much.

And Lelouch as a bottom is literally my type >.< psycho, pretty, and bad at sports (also having a natural inclination to dominate others)??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!

His dramatic ass had me gripped and his personality contrasted so beautifully with Suzaku's dumbass that while I did want to be sad about that redhead he might have liked dying….girl bye 👋 make way for the gay 🏳️‍🌈

(Srsly tho, I was sad for a sec, it was a very shocking scene to say the least but Rolo pulled such a Brocon move I was laughing for a solid minute.)

I very much didn't want to be like most other yaoi shippers that watched this shit when they were ten and went for the very obvious but still delicious low hanging fruit yaoi but I see enemies to lovers mixed with tragic yaoi and an undeniably fun story and brain stops functioning lmaooo. Turns out I'm very much like other fujins ;p

Closing thoughts: Umm…If you're going to defend Suzaku in the replies…go for it I'm down to listen but he'll forever be my bitch. I love Lelouch but Light is better, Orange x Lelouch is underratedand C.C. and Kallen should have gotten married.

[eye-of-yelough]

3 and 15 for the Ship Ask game, I hope you have the greatest day! <3

i hope YOU have the greatest day

what are their first impressions of each other?

basically “what’s this angry fucker doing in my clinic?”

but seriously i like to think Anders is so exhausted (mentally, physically, spiritually, wink wink nudge nudge) that he mistakes Leo for a man at first and gives the “don’t threaten me, little boy” line. apart from that it’s “woah. is she taller than me? 😳”

for Leo it’s basically “ah it’s good be around magic again - did he just RESURRECT that kid. that’s. impressive. oh he seems very tired after that. okay that’s good. with a little bit of force he should back down and give us what we want”

Anders: dont threaten me little boy

Leo:

and thus begins the greatest love story in the history of ever.

oh and for Isabela let’s just say that Thedas is lucky hawke doesn’t have a dick because she would’ve been able to hammer a nail with it after seeing Bela’s introduction

what is a song that reminds you of them?

thee handers song. none other compares.

i’ve never been able to find a good hawke/handersbela song unfortunately, but this one’s pretty close:

[yoshidenss]

what made me like blue lock in the first place and the reason I used to love Isagi was that he was flawed, he was losing and his frustrations felt real. manga wasn't afraid of letting their mc suffer significant loss, and he made mistakes. there were stakes. but all of this just lost its edge after U20 Japan match. now all we got is shippers arguing, with even dudebros' plot discussion demoted to "himsagi with his femboys defeating everyone". isagi isn't allowed to be flawed or lose, characters aren't allowed to exist outside of him and if they do, be prepared to be ignored by the narrative. it's sad and sucks honestly. arcs and characters are shafted over unless you are isagi/Rin/Nagi, stakes are gone, plot points make your head hurt in utter idiocy, and anyone who isn't protag fan is just reading it to keep with the plot

[tiredtriedfailures]

ACTUAL AANG HATING ZUTARA SHIPPERS IN THE YEAR OF 2024???

TO PARAPHRASE KENDRICK LAMAR??? IM ABOUT TO POP A VESSEL

im telling you we werent meant to hear the unfiltered unprovoked idiocy of others, this is bad for ones health. this is brainrot levels rare to witness.

[p-redux]

Happy 4th Wedding Anniversary to Caitriona Balfe and Tony McGill!

Thanks to CaitTony in Instagram for putting together this wonderful tribute to #tait !

Any Shippers and/or assorted trolls decide to live dangerously today and leave any hate comments, I will immediately block you...for the crime of Supreme Idiocy. Consider this your only warning. Everyone else, please congratulate the happy couple! And BabyBalfeMcgill turns 2 this month as well! 🥳

[jackoshadows]

I think most Jonsas looked around and were displeased with the guys GRRM wrote as potential partners for their fave so they landed on Jon because he is one of the few young, completely able-bodied and possibly attractive male characters around and he is not a jerk like Harrold or cruel like Joff. That's it.

Details like whether they give a sh*t about each other or if they are each other type's were completely ignored.

Fanfiction and AUs exist for a reason. If Sansa fans don't like her canonical story and relationships they can dabble in fanfiction. That's the purpose of fanfiction. Some of the most popular relationships in fandom are not canon. Not being canon has never stopped anyone. Personally, I find Jonsa to be bland and boring but go for it. People like what they like. Write all the fanfiction and draw all the fanart between the stereotypical disney princess and hot secret prince. That's never been the problem.

The problem is their insistence that Jonsa is canon, work backwards from there, mutilate and mangle the book characters, themes and relationships to shove Jonsa in there. And when this is pointed out, gaslight and attack book readers for being sexist haters of Sansa. It's tiresome.

Hence why we get utter idiocy about how Sansa was traumatized and bitter about Ned's favoritism towards Arya and yet Jon loves Sansa so much it's simply too painful for him to even think of her 😂

Jon Snow needs an entirely new personality and completely different story for Jonsa to happen and so we are stuck with a shallow, Littlefinger type who has a crush on the bully who mocks Arya for being ugly and horsefaced 🙄.

The issue with Jonsa shippers are their sexist, classist tirades on the tags against Dany, Arya, Jon etc. for daring to be tier one main characters with well defined central plots and complex themes that revolve around them, where the author has painstakingly written in relationships and leadership arcs for them, given them conflict and critical thinking skills and build this world of secondary characters to support these main characters.

Sansa fans read Jon's political intelligence and diplomacy, Arya's arc of being unable to fit, discovering her place in the world, her relationship with her father, the North and her siblings, the Lyanna parallels, Dany's revolutionary Queen getting the love of the people and want all that for Sansa. Hence the essays about how Jon and Dany are terrible rulers, how it's Sansa who was the outsider and outcast (Ned's so called favoritism is all about this).

The popular Sansa in fandom now is a self insert, a mish-mash of other characters and made up headcanons. Her most popular ship is a crackship, her relationships with Jon, Arya, Ned etc. has been rewritten. She is perennially a victim, has no agency. Right from Jon I AGoT, Sansa is an abuse victim. (All the while blaming Dany for not stopping the Khalasar's rape under Drogo!).

The fandom dichotomy when it comes to Sansa Stark is the insistence that only she be read like a realistic 11/12 year old and treated like a little child with respect to all her actions and yet she is also the most shipped character of the series!

As per fandom, Sansa is a little child who cannot understand when adults tell her a situation is dangerous or a drug is dangerous and yet she is also shipped romantically with a 27 year old adult who falls for this child. A child when it comes to her thoughts and actions, an adult when it comes to romance, love, marriage and babies.

Often someone will mention how much they love Sansa because she’s just so realistic, implying all the other characters are not realistic for their age.

And yet while we get called ‘pedophiles’ and perverts for shipping fictional children, fictional incest with age gaps etc. these same folks who appreciate realistic child Sansa will be shipping her with with Sandor Clegane, Jon Snow, Gendry, Willas, Jaime, Tyrion, Young Griff, Stannis, Littlefinger, Daenerys, Arondir, Rand, Harry Hardyng, Tom, Dick, reader etc.  

If Sansa is truly this naive and childlike, unable to understand when the physician is straight up telling her a drug is harmful and dangerous for a sick little boy suffering from epileptic seizures, why are the same readers treating her as being old enough to fall in love and have a romance arc?

Many of these Sansa stans have not read the books. They are fixated on a made up version, confront others based on this made up version. When we then ask for the book quotes they throw a hissy fit, block us, delete/change their blog name and then write essays about the evil Arya/Dany fans lol.

[lo-toh-takes]

I remember this vaguely so do take it with a hefty amount of salt, and I don't think it was properly archived in time so at the moment I can't even look for it, however, though I don't recall it word-for-word;

I distinctly remember Lily, all allegedly long before actually watching Owl House, making a post saying she was already about to make a video about why it's bad because "it's not episodic" and it didn't have the exact yuri shipping she wanted (Luz and Willow), thus it was "gay in the bad and wrong way". Insinuating stuff to that effect.

The post was IMMEDIATLY swarmed by Owl House fans (and I believe plenty were Lumity shippers) dunking and clowning on her for being so fast to shit on an earnestly fun fantasy show that happened to also feature lgbt+ characters. And that was when Lily scrambled to be all "Oh Um no guys! I totally LIKE it actually!" and fast deleting the post from her tumblr.

I just find it really cathartic that TOH was at that moment one of the few fandoms who shut down Lily's idiocy immediately, and I think back then it actually got several younger followers of her to go "hey, wait a minute..." so she would have also been trying to reel those minors back into her web by flipping her opinion around.

That is the most cathartic thing I've heard in a while. I REALLY wish that post was still up because reading posts of people clowning on the most hateable person alive would be the most cathartic thing on the planet.

But aside from that this pretty much tells me one thing; Lily either tried rewatching the show after the backlash her post recieved to try and find some more things she liked about it (which is unlikely because since when has Lily ever given a show a fair shot without some level of bias?) or she ever never actually liked the owl house. She pretended to like the owl house. She only focused on the things about the show she liked and didn't mention the issues because she KNEW that she would get backlash for it.

She only made a positive review of the first season so she woulden't recieve backlash for her shitty takes. And she KNEW that the show was going to get serialized eventually and saw the signs for it as early as season 1, so, she, unsuprisingly, wrote the show off as objectively bad because it didn't meet her personal preferences and only retracted once she got backlash from people for it.

Lily was never a true fan of the owl house. She pretended to like the show until seasons 2&3 where the show fully abonded her personal preferences completely.