#shikamaru is a lazy king

[mayhemscorner]

Bed Rest

Shikamaru x f!reader

🔞MINORS DNI 🔞

Warnings: soft core SMUT, swearing, injuries

Summary: a lazy hang out turns to lazy sex (just a quick smut read for on the go. Simple, goofy, with a bit of filler episode humor)

To say I was beat from the mission was an understatement. Turns out, getting slammed in to the ground by your neck really does a lot of damage. My bed at home beckoned to me, plush, soft comforter and lots of space to stretch compared to the bedroll on my back that’s been used for two weeks. It was a dream to be prescribed three days of bed rest by the doctor. But upon opening the bedroom door, I notice a lazy soul already occupying my sweet bed.

“Move over, I’m tired.” I grunt out, slamming face first in to the long forgotten pillow that rest besides Shikamaru’s head. It was common to find him napping in a random spot when I’d come back from missions, sometimes the floor, or the front porch of my house. But my bed was a new one.

“Great to see you and your smart comments are still alive.” He sighs as I can feel his weight shift closer to me, grunting in pain.

I wince as I turn my neck to focus on his bruised face, “I hear you got a nice beat down yourself, champ.”

“Doctors orders for strict bed rest, a drag I can’t go outside and watch the clouds.” He mumbles out, his eyes fluttering slowly shut. I huff a small laugh out as a pinch of pain runs through my neck,” bed rest doesn’t mean an actual bed. It just means get sleep and not get in any fights, Shikamaru. Now get out of my bed so I can get my ordered bed rest.”

I’m only answered by slow and steady breathing, signaling he was already practically asleep. Leave it to Shikamaru to put his best effort in falling asleep. I can only sigh, gathering a pillow to go crash on my own couch in defeat. A slow hand stops me from brokenly standing up,” bed rest, not couch rest. Just lay down and don’t be awkward, damnit.”

“Awkward? You’re in my bed. You’re the only one making this awkward.” I huff out, slamming the pillow against his head and falling back down beside him. He drapes an arm over my side and grumbles,” stop complaining already, if you didn’t like it you would’ve forced me out the door by now, Y/N.”

His delicately placed hand sends electric pulses through my entire body, a sensation that was almost taboo to feel about a close friend. And the anger of him being right sets in.

“Shut up and put your hand somewhere else then, you’re distracting me.” I try to chastise him, resulting in it moving upwards and cupping my breast,” not what I meant.”

He chuckles slightly, close enough to my ear that it sends a shiver against my spine,” if I really wanted to distract you I would.”

His hand kneads slightly, oddly relieving other pains as the ecstasy of the intimate touch invades my senses.

“S-Shikamaru, what are you doing?” I yelp out as his other hand snakes its way under my body and to my other breast.

“I’m showing you what distracting really is.” He clips out, resting his heated face against my neck and nipping softly at it. My body acts on its own free will, arching my back into his body, and grinding my ass against his pelvis deeply.

“But we’re supposed to-“ I begin, being quickly cut off as his breath ghosts over the spot he just bit,” resting… I know.”

He pulls away, minding the sore spots as I moan in frustration,” and I can’t do that now that you’ve made a move on me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve crossed a line. I’m too tired to think clearly.” He apologizes, quickly suggesting he went home.

“No! I mean, you just caught me off guard. I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” I admit sheepishly, guiding his hands back to position. It was his turn to sigh, only this time it was relief… maybe even pleasure. His lower body rhythmically rolls into mine, boasting a defined bulge against me that grows harder with every touch. I can hear the soft moan in my ear and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from following suit.

“I’m pretty lame at the moment… I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.” I breathe out, heart quickening with every motion. I suddenly realize it might be beneficial for the both of us as a moan finally escapes my own mouth,“But then again, I wouldn’t mind going slow and enjoying it. I find going slow is quite relaxing and a great way to promote rest.”

“Are you trying to convince yourself, or me, Y/N?” Shikamaru breathes out tiredly as my mind races. I whip around quickly, disregarding any aching pain and settle on top of him with a huff,” fuck it.”

My hands wander across his body, plucking and pulling at the fabric that’s separates us. It felt so wrong, yet so right to know first hand that the man who always complained about women could feel emotions such as intimacy. The friend I always slept or napped with, but never in an intimate way. The static charge of rubbing clothes courses through my finger tips, jolting through my body and down to my core. If I didn’t like him so much… if I didn’t crave or even need him so much, I might just feel guilty. But the feeling of his lips clumsily finding mine between closed eyes and rambunctious limbs fumbling around, felt a little too satisfying. We were both lazy at heart, never in a rush. And it showed as his lips took time against mine. Slowly pulling in my lower lip as his hand finds its way to squeeze against my ass, followed by a light smack. I use his slight distraction to nip at his lip, taking in the faint taste of an after mission cigarette drag. He sharply inhales, finding his bearings in gripping tightly at my hips. Shikamaru’s eyes flutter halfway open, hungrily staring me down as all thoughts escape my head in nervousness,” Y/N, are you okay?”

I shake my head back to reality, looking down at his pants line and back to him,” Y-yeah. Are you… are you okay with this?”

“Yeah.” He huffs a silent laugh as I work at his pants, finally receiving a helping hand as he pulls them below his knees. Shikamaru’s hips jerk as my hand delicately wraps around him, pumping softly and slowly, falling in to a rhythm with his breathing. Shikamaru tilts his head back, moaning slightly with a half cocked smile of bliss, jutting his hips in to each stroke as his face quickly flushes,” just don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, it’s my neck that bothers me. Not my hand.” I exhale, watching his eyes roll before they meet mine,” if it gets to be too much. Tell me to stop.”

I nod, taking a brief moment to slip off my pants that desperately need a wash after the mission and crawl back on top of him. I find the courage to sink down, the ache between my hips enhancing with each second I take to slide fully on to him. By the time I’m fully settled, it feels like my core is about to burst with ecstasy, until he lifts me slightly by my hips and slams me back down gently. A soft yelp escapes my throat from surprise, quickly hushed by his voice,” does that hurt?”

“No, it- it feels good.” I moan between thrusts, watching as his face contorts from pain to fits of pleasure and ecstasy. My head instinctively moves to fall back, quickly answered with a jolt of pain before Shikamaru goes taut and stops all movement,” Shikamaru, I said I was okay. Keep going… please.”

He nods, resuming his motion as I feel the familiar knot in my stomach, unfortunately dulled by the ebbing pain that seemed to rush back in uninvited. My eyes shut tight, spots flickering as my neck hurts and lower body goes numb in pleasure. My moan is choked out by Shikamaru’s own, followed quickly as his pace picks up, using the last of his energy to finish strong and rough.

“Look at me, Y/N.” He hisses out between his clenched jaw, forcing my eyes to obey and lock on to his before they wander once again with the sensation of pure ecstasy. With a guttural moan from Shikamaru, I can feel the hot ropes pulse in to me and his body becomes rigid once again. His head arches back in to the pillow behind him, his moan quickly becoming a whimper, and guilt makes me hope it’s from pleasure and not pain. I can barely manage to flop over beside him and try my best to hide the winces, but fail miserably.

“It was too much for the both of us, wasn’t it?” He sighs, eyes fixated on the ceiling as his hand rubs against his torso. I reach my hand to move his, taking his place to rub at the bruising area softly,” probably. But you always sucked at timing.”

His hand snakes upwards to cup the back of my neck and rub soft circles where it hurt the most, and his eyes slowly meet mine,” such a drag I didn’t do it sooner.”

I find my eyes fluttering closed at the lulling touch against my neck, being pulled slowly to rest my head against his chest and match his steady breathing,” I only let you because it was a pity to see you being the one in pain for once.”

“That’s a lie.” Shikamaru snickers, pinching my ear slightly with his free hand. I giggle back, tilting my head up to sleepily look to him,” and how would you know?”

“Never tell Choji secrets. Especially when you’re both drunk.” He answers, pulling me fully on to him with a grunt. My mind tries to gather any time Choji and I were drunk together, but falls short,” that’s a bluff. I haven’t been drunk with Choji for a long time.”

“Barbecue, sake, and wedding gift planning.” Shikamaru hints.

I then remember the night, sitting down with Choji and venting about not being able to find Hinata and Naruto a gift when my own love life was on the rocks. Sake goes down too sweetly after going through a break up just before a friend gets married. It was several weeks ago now, turning to Choji after Ino and even TenTen had come up short with ideas.

“Why don’t you ask Shikamaru? You two seem to think pretty similarly.” Choji huffs out, ordering the bottle of sake.

“The last thing we need is the two of us working together. It always ends horribly and you know that, Choji.” I cough out after knocking back several cups of the bitter and satisfying beverage.

“It’s because you like him.” Choji smirks, wiggling his eyebrows before ordering another bottle. Two bottles empty and halfway through the third one, I groan as my head slams against the table,” Choji, if I had the capability of liking anyone, why would you assume out of everyone in the leaf, it would be Shikamaru?”

“Because, Shikamaru is the only thing you talk or complain about when you’re drunk, even sober for that matter.” Choji points out, laying down more strips of beef against the barbecue. I bang my head against the table a few more time in frustration,” because that idiot doesn’t leave my head. It’s wrong to think of a friend that way damnit. Especially him.”

The next sentence is the one part I knew Choji took to Shikamaru in confidence,” we’re both too dense to just fuck and get it over with. Besides, sex takes effort and I use enough of that during missions.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that before…” Choji laughs, pulling a strip off the grill and finishing off the plate of beef. Everything afterwards is black as my hand reaches to finish the sake straight from the bottle.

“Oh no, he told you.” I groan, burying my head in guilt and embarrassment. Shikamaru only hugs me with a reassuring laugh,” everything.”

“Just wait until you hear what he told me what you said.” I lie, feeling as his breathing stops,” L-listen, when I told him about that little dream, I figured he wouldn’t say anything!”

“Choji didn’t really tell me anything, but now I’m curious about this dream…” I trail off, eyes becoming heavy as a yawn wracks my body.

“That’s a story for another time, we should get some actual bed rest.” He yawns back.

“If I wasn’t so tired, I’d try to argue with you. You win for now.” I mumble out, quickly letting the claws of sleep sink in to me. Before drifting off, I could feel his lips lazily drift across my forehead. I knew in that moment, I was too comfortable to complain or prod even further. I was content with being finally in his arms and getting some well deserved bed rest.

[deepdiveintomadness]

✨️ competency ✨️ is such an attractive and sexy trait

[skyahri]

How They'd Do You |Naruto Men X Reader| HC

Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Madara Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki.

Summary: How they are in bed.

Warnings: NSFW. Mentions of sex and foreplay. Breeding kink, breast and nipple play, head, etc.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

Sasuke Uchiha

Sasuke isn't one to give up control very easily, especially when he's in any sort of vulnerable state.

More often than not, he's on top of you, forcing your legs against your chest and not holding anything back as he thrusts into you.

On the rare occasion he allows you to top, he's still 100% in control. He always ends up taking over towards the end when he can't take it anymore. His release is close, and something in his brain is begging him to rail you.

He wouldn't be into actual choking in fear he'd lose control of his strength, but he's not afraid to use your neck as a handle of sorts to keep your body from moving too much.

Hes the embodiment of a breeding kink.

He's close to his end. He places his hand on your stomach and forces his seed in you.

If he's still got stamina, he's pushing you onto your hands and knees for round two, ass high up in the air.

"Not a single drop spills. Got it?"

Emergency contraceptive is your best friend, but let's be real. It fails sooner rather than later based on the sheer amount you rely on it.

Kakashi Hatake

Foreplay king. He loves head, both giving and receiving, sometimes even at the same time. Nipple play, fingering, whatever it is you're needing, he's providing.

Passionate.

When he does share his mind, it's never a light matter, and sex is no different.

Kissing, hand holding, praising - it's all a very important part of the act for him. He's pouring his heart and soul into you every time you're together.

But don't get it wrong, he's still a man. Those sweet nothings and soft whispers about how much he loves you quickly turn into dirty talk.

"You're such a good girl."

"You look so pretty wrapped around my cock."

"You're mine, you know that?"

He definitely sticks his fingers in your mouth.

After a certain point, he let's his dick do the thinking for him. You don't mind one bit.

He's all about aftercare. Rags or showers or just physical contact, whatever you want, he's got it. He knows he's not always the best at taking care of you, but this is one instance where he's confident about what he's doing.

Shikamaru Nara

My man is lazy and that doesn't change, even in the bedroom.

He usually doesn't go down on you but enjoys when you sit on his face. He'll wrap his arms around to grip your thighs. He's never one to turn down head but doesn't really make foreplay a priority.

Some might call him a pillow princess at first glance, but it's deeper than that. He has the control, he just let's you do the work most of the time.

You may be on top, but his strong grip and guiding fingers tell you exactly what to do.

Sometimes, he doesn't care for the pleasantries that come with dragging it out. He'll nestle between your legs and let his head dip down to your neck.

Lazy thrusts, but that's fine. Deeper is always better than faster.

He doesn't really do dirty talk, but he's definitely not silent. He's vocal, always groaning, maybe he'll tell you that he loves you if he's feeling a certain way.

Madara Uchiha

Most of the time, he's hate fucking you.

There's no time for foreplay when he's immediately slamming you against the wall when he gets home.

Despite all the anger radiating off of him as he mercilessly thrusts into you, he's calling you the sweetest nicknames he can think of. Love or Darling or something of the sort.

He always finishes inside. You're not sure if he's just too busy letting his frustration out to think, or if he's actively trying to get you pregnant.

It's both... sort of. For him, anger is just passion and fuel. It has nothing to do with his actions. He's pumping you full of his cum because he likes to claim you. He wants you to bare his children. He wants people to know you're his.

Aftercare isn't as straightforward for him. He's not offering to clean you up, but he tries to find ways to subtly apologize for turning you into a toy.

Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto runs on pure instinct in every aspect of his life.

He's doing what feels right in the moment and confirming it with you if it's something he's unsure about. (Consent is key).

He's a people pleaser. He's always making sure he takes care of you before he even thinks about himself. Eating you out, fingering, breast play, whatever you want.

He's sloppy. It's just something that always emerges with him. He's placing wet kisses on your neck, his hand placement can sometimes be a bit awkward, but it all adds to the experience.

His head gets so foggy with love and lust that he honestly can't think straight. The way his body takes control and he ravages you in an almost primal way, it's to die for.

[eiloveir]

→﹐naruto hc! <3

‹𝟹 :: ⭑⭒  🗨 !!  naruto characters and their social media habits

warnings: rushed and out-of-character

note: this is just something I decided to create on a whim, though I was inspired by a post on a clock app. i imagined how these characters might use social media, so here it is.

characters: konoha 12

𓋭  ۫   ☔️ �� ❊  ͚

uzumaki naruto

this guy’s the reigning king of shitposting. he’s got a knack for calling out anything he deems “overrated,” and he doesn’t hold back. his feed is a never-ending stream of complaints about everything from minor inconveniences to full-blown disasters. you might see posts about how his ramen was too hot or things like pineapple on pizza. he’s the kind of troll who wouldn’t hesitate to pick a fight with kids on roblox, turning every argument into a battle that leaves them in tears and scrambling to save face (konohamaru). he would also be the type to start internet beefs over the most mundane things. if you’re ever scrolling through your feed and see a heated argument about why a certain trend is lame, chances are he is behind it.

haruno sakura

the feminist and activist extraordinaire! she’s the type of woman who not only supports human rights in every way possible but also cheers on the LGBTQ+ community with gusto—because, spoiler alert, she’s part of it. she’s someone who’s fully aware of the impact social media can have and is determined to use it to amplify her voice and make a real difference. i also think she has multiple social media accounts like a pro—there’s her private twitter account where she rants about how messed up the government is, her ao3 account where she writes fan fiction with a side of social commentary, and of course, her tumblr where she’s a curator of memes, political discourse, and everything in between. (me)

uchiha sasuke

god, bruh. this dude is basically a social media ghost—he hardly ever posts anything, but when he does, it’s like the internet has just won the lottery. he’s that guy who seems to do absolutely nothing yet somehow manages to grab everyone’s attention. he’s not really into posting on social media, but when he does, it’s always so aesthetically pleasing that you’d think he has a personal stylist and a professional photographer on speed dial. he doesn’t even try to make his posts look good; he just rolls out of bed and somehow manages to be effortlessly cool. man could post a picture of his breakfast and it would still get more likes than your entire feed.

nara shikamaru

this lazy ass (me) would probably end up being a streamer, posting about his win streaks and achievements in every game he plays. despite barely lifting a finger to do anything else, he’d be all over social media, bragging about every victory and high score. he’s the kind of guy who’d stream his gaming marathons from the comfort of his bed, racking up followers while casually lounging around in sweatpants. If there’s a leaderboard, you can bet he’s at the top, and he’s not shy about letting everyone know it.

yamanaka ino

girlie is the famous influencer! she’s always buzzing with posts about the latest fashion trends, beauty tips, and social events. like, you know, the kind of Instagram girlie who’s always flaunting her ootd and setting style standards. she’s practically a fashion icon with every outfit she wears. she’s also the type to post inspirational messages like “wear whatever makes you feel good” or “your body, your choice.” she’s incredibly popular across all her social media platforms and has a tiktok account—she’s all about those thirst traps and dance covers.

akimichi choji

my boi would definitely be the type to either watch mukbangs obsessively or become a mukbanger himself. he’d spend hours trying to replicate recipes he’s seen online, turning his kitchen into a culinary experiment zone. and you can bet he’d be posting all about it—sharing his attempts, successes, and occasional fails. his feed would be full of mouthwatering food shots and videos of him devouring his creations, proving that he’s just as passionate about cooking and eating as he is about sharing it with the world.

tenten

she’d regularly post about her daily life, giving followers an inside look at her studies or work. her feed would be filled with a lot of photos showcasing her favorite books, snapshots of her workout routines, and candid moments with her for lifers. she’s all about fitness, making her social media a hub for health tips and personal growth. you’d see her posting everything from meal prep ideas to gym selfies. she’d be the type to inspire others with her discipline and positivity.

rock lee

lee would be the type to flood his feed with gym and fitness content, sharing everything from his daily workout routines to personal fitness goals. his posts would be packed with enthusiasm and motivational messages, like “don’t judge a person because of their appearance” and other self-improvement quotes. despite his positive energy, not everyone’s a fan—especially naruto and kiba, who might be more inclined to roll their eyes and make a shitty rant about his optimism.

hyuga neji

this dude, much like sasuke, is totally indifferent to social media. he doesn’t bother with frequent posts but when he does, they’re thoughtful and deliberate. you might see him sharing reflections on life, articles he’s stumbled upon, or insightful news about everyday occurrences. he avoids jumping into pointless online drama or trends, yet somehow, he’s always clued in. that’s thanks to lee and tenten, who can’t stop talking about the latest gossip and social media happenings. despite his apparent disinterest, he picks up on all the chatter and remains surprisingly well-informed about the buzz. so, even though he’s a low-key user, he’s never completely out of the loop.

inuzuka kiba

his socials would be about random rants and memes. he’d post exaggerated complaints about the most trivial matters. his feed would be a fucking mess of humorous and offbeat content—think sarcastic comments, goofy polls, and plenty of memes featuring akamaru. he’d frequently stir up controversies, posting impulsively and diving headfirst into debates. his online presence would be a whirlwind of arguments, especially with naruto, where they often argue over who’s the dumbest between them.

hyuga hinata

she’s the type to be a crocheter, the kind you see on tiktok with an account just for her yarn creations. her feed would be packed with posts showcasing her latest crocheting projects—everything from cozy blankets and stylish scarves to adorable amigurumi (crocheted plush toys). she’d share detailed photos and videos of her work. her account would also feature tutorials and tips for fellow crocheters, helping them improve their skills. she might post about her extensive yarn collection, offer free patterns, and give followers a peek into her crafting process. whether she’s showing off her latest masterpiece or sharing a behind-the-scenes look at her studio, her feed would be a inspiring hub for all things crochet.

aburame shino

the random entomologist on your feed. he would be all about his shit for insects and the natural world. his posts would feature photos of various bugs, often accompanied by educational captions about their behavior, ecology, and characteristics. his feed would include updates from his fieldwork, observations on insect behavior, and informative posts about conservation efforts. while he might occasionally share glimpses of his other interests or hobbies, the focus would remain firmly on nature and entomology. whether he’s showcasing a rare beetle he’s spotted or sharing insights on preserving insect habitats, his content would be a treasure trove of knowledge for fellow nature enthusiasts.

[zunairaghazalsultan]

Once Upon a Lifetime

Summary: SasuSaku! RoyalAU. Sakura wins the raffle to become Sasuke's queen - but will she ever win the raffle to his heart?

A/N: Years and years ago, I read The Conspiracy by miko-chan (does she still exist here?), and I've always had this plot bunny in my mind about this AU. Today, after years and years I feel full and inspired enough to have begun writing it. As with all things I put to paper, it became much more dramatic than I had intended (which was a rom-com), but I hope you like it as much as I do.

-

CHAPTER 1

The palace halls of Nippon Koku had grown quiet in recent months, a far cry from the bustling, vibrant energy they once held under King Itachi Uchiha. Itachi had always been a symbol of peace and stability, a king beloved by the people for his kindness and wisdom. His reign was marked by prosperity, his presence a constant reassurance that the kingdom was in capable hands. He often walked amongst the people, speaking with them, learning their stories, ensuring that they knew their voices were heard. He ruled with a grace that felt innate, as though he had been born for the crown.

But the sickness changed everything.

It began as fatigue, something small that Itachi dismissed for months. But as his health deteriorated, the palace’s publicists worked tirelessly to cover for his absence, feeding the public narratives of his diplomatic missions or strategic retreats. Yet the truth couldn’t be hidden forever. Itachi’s illness—cancer—soon became too severe to mask. His once-vibrant energy was drained by the endless treatments, leaving him pale and frail, a shadow of the king he once was. When the official announcement of his condition was made, it devastated the kingdom. The people mourned the idea of losing a king they had loved so deeply. But even more shocking was the revelation that Itachi would step down permanently. The throne would pass to his younger brother, Sasuke Uchiha.

Sasuke had never been a public figure. While Itachi was warm and approachable, Sasuke was distant, cold, and often appeared angry or solemn in public. Few saw him beyond his stoic exterior, and fewer still believed he could ever fill his brother's shoes. Where Itachi was loved, Sasuke was feared. And fear, as the Uchiha family well knew, could only take a king so far.

Still, Sasuke had prepared for this moment in his own way. Though reluctant to take the throne, he had always been a strategist at heart, one who picked his allies carefully. Before the crown fell on his head, Sasuke had curated his circle with meticulous precision. His personal assistant, Neji Hyūga, was among his most trusted. The Hyūga family, one of the most powerful noble houses in the kingdom, had long held influence in matters of governance and diplomacy. Neji, with his stoic demeanor and unparalleled intellect, was a key asset to Sasuke. While his outward appearance was calm, his mind was always analyzing, calculating, ready to provide counsel at a moment’s notice. His presence was quiet but powerful, a figure of silent authority who moved through the palace with an unspoken grace.

Sasuke had also selected Shikamaru Nara as his publicist. While the Nara family wasn’t as politically powerful as the Hyūgas, Shikamaru’s intellect was unmatched. Known for his laziness on the surface, those who truly understood Shikamaru knew that his mind worked faster than anyone else’s. He saw moves before they were even conceived. Sasuke had chosen him not just for his intelligence, but for his ability to manipulate narratives—to craft the kind of public image that Sasuke sorely needed. It was Shikamaru’s job to turn the kingdom’s doubt into trust, to make the people believe that Sasuke, like his brother, was their rightful king.

And now, in the conference room of the Uchiha Palace, that task had reached its most controversial proposal yet.

-

The Uchiha council chamber was filled with the murmurs of discontent. Seated around a long mahogany table were the highest-ranking members of the kingdom’s council, ministers, advisors, and the royal family themselves. The polished elegance of the room, with its tall windows and golden drapes, did little to quell the rising tension.

Nippon Koku, one of the most influential kingdoms in the modern world, was a unique blend of tradition and progress. While its monarchy was centuries old, the state also had a powerful parliamentary system, where elected officials played a crucial role in governance. But when it came to the most significant decisions—especially those involving the royal family—the monarchy’s word was still law. The kingdom’s strength came from its strategic trade position, a dominating influence in technology, rare minerals, and military advancements, which had propelled it to one of the top economic powers in the world. Nippon Koku’s wealth was born from a combination of traditional industries and modern trade routes that connected it with every major continent. It thrived on global commerce, naval power, and technological innovation, making it a hub for diplomacy and commerce alike.

And now, the fate of that kingdom was being debated in a room divided by uncertainty.

The debate had been raging for over an hour, with Fugaku Uchiha leading the opposition. Sasuke sat quietly, his hands folded in front of him, watching as voices were raised, tempers flared, and objections poured in from every corner of the table. His calm exterior hid the storm within.

“This proposal is outrageous,” one of the ministers, an elderly man with a greying beard, barked. “We cannot afford to tarnish the royal family’s prestige by choosing a commoner as the future queen. What would the rest of the world think of us?”

“It’s a reckless idea,” another chimed in. “We are already struggling with public sentiment since the announcement of Itachi’s illness. Do you really believe a raffle will strengthen the monarchy?”

Shikamaru, who had been lounging in his chair, let out a quiet sigh, his sharp gaze sweeping across the room. “It’s not about prestige,” he said, his voice cutting through the noise. “It’s about survival. The people aren’t questioning the monarchy because of tradition—they’re questioning it because Sasuke hasn’t connected with them. This raffle would be a bridge between him and the people. It shows them that the king is willing to step down from the pedestal.”

Before anyone could respond, the doors to the chamber swung open, and in strode the Prime Minister of Nippon Koku—Naruto Uzumaki. His entrance was anything but subtle, his vibrant energy seeming to fill the room. Dressed in formal robes, but with a brightness in his eyes that never seemed to dull, Naruto radiated confidence.

“Alright, alright! What’s all this noise about?” Naruto said, his voice booming across the chamber with a mixture of humor and authority. “I can hear you guys arguing from the other side of the palace.” He looked around the room, taking stock of the tension before focusing on Sasuke. “You look like you could use some backup.”

Fugaku’s stern gaze met Naruto’s. “Prime Minister, you surely understand the implications of this proposal. A raffle for a commoner bride? How can we expect the people or the international community to respect such a spectacle?”

Naruto tilted his head, considering the words for a moment before a slow smile spread across his face. “Respect? We’re talking about more than respect, Fugaku-san. We’re talking about trust. And if there’s one thing I know about Sasuke,” he said, glancing at his childhood friend, “it’s that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make sure this kingdom stays strong. Even if it means breaking tradition.”

Fugaku opened his mouth to protest, but Naruto raised his hand, cutting him off. “The people need to see that Sasuke isn’t just sitting on a throne, hiding behind the palace walls. They need to know he’s willing to make tough decisions for their sake. And let’s be real—the world is watching. They’re watching to see if we’re stuck in the past or if we’re ready to lead the future.”

Naruto took a seat next to Sasuke, giving him a playful nudge on the shoulder. “Besides, don’t you think it would be kind of cool to show that the future queen of Nippon Koku could be one of the people? It sends a message—a strong one. We’re not an old-fashioned monarchy anymore. We’re adaptable. And when we say we value the people, we mean it.”

Fugaku’s eyes narrowed. “You’re saying we should let anyone, just anyone, be considered as the next queen?”

Shikamaru leaned forward, his voice sharp. “No, we’re saying we control the process. It’s not just anyone. It’s anyone who passes a set of strict criteria—a vetting process. Clean medical history, education, intelligence. The people get to think it’s a raffle, but we’re the ones who decide who makes it through. It’s a win-win.”

Naruto grinned. “And let’s not forget, we’re going to have to bring Sasuke back into the spotlight. People haven’t seen much of him. This whole process—interacting with the people, going through the motions of the raffle—puts him front and center. The people will see their king again, and this time, they’ll start to understand him.”

There was a quiet murmur in the room, as the council processed Naruto’s words. The Prime Minister’s vibrant charisma and political savvy had always made him a formidable ally to Sasuke, and despite their opposition, the ministers couldn’t deny that there was a certain appeal to the idea. The kingdom needed unity, and perhaps this was the unconventional answer they hadn’t anticipated.

Neji, who had been standing quietly to the side throughout the entire exchange, finally spoke. His voice was calm, steady, and as always, carried weight. “This plan isn’t without risks, but it addresses a deeper issue. The kingdom is vulnerable right now. This initiative would buy us time. Time to heal the people’s trust, time for Sasuke to establish his rule.”

His words, though few, echoed in the chamber. Even Fugaku seemed to consider them more carefully, his sharp gaze shifting between Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji.

All eyes turned to Sasuke. He had listened in silence, his sharp mind absorbing every word, every argument. Now, his gaze was fixed on his father.

“We’re not running a kingdom on tradition alone anymore,” Sasuke said, his voice low but firm. “The world has changed. We’re a global power because we adapt, because we know how to control the narrative. And right now, that’s what we need. Control.”

He turned his gaze to the entire council, his dark eyes cold and calculating. “Shikamaru’s plan gives us that control. We’ll make the people feel part of the process, while ensuring that we get exactly the bride we need. The world will see us as strong, progressive. We’re not stuck in the past, but we don’t compromise on what matters.”

Finally, Sasuke gave a small, sharp nod. “Run the raffle. But we do it our way.”

The decision hung in the air, final and unchallengeable. The council fell silent, knowing that Sasuke’s word was now law. Naruto leaned back with a satisfied grin, while Shikamaru gave a subtle smirk of approval.

The future of Nippon Koku had just taken an unexpected turn.

[the-bofurin-digest]

Jien Yanagida Casual Headcanons

(I am so normal about him and his stupid face and his cute stubble and his dreamy tone and his nonchalant attitude in literally one scene I swear)

Casual Headcanons

~ oldest child energy. Exhausted and lazy. (Honestly gives off shikamaru from Naruto vibes)  ~ has a strict skincare routine he secretly follows because of his angry pores ~ fast and furious fangirl moments. Loves street racing and fast cars and going to shows. Can tell you what a loud vehicle is from 3 blocks over ~but can't drive a car to save his life. Hit a mailbox and a pole during drivers ed.  ~ known in the dating world as cupid. It's a well known fact to all the girls in town that if you go on a date with Yanagida, you will most likely meet your soulmate.indirectly responsible for 7-10 couples coming together, which makes his own dating life kinda sad but hey he can't complain. That's a lot of free dinners at weddings for him to go to in the future!  ~ which brings up the next one, he's kind of a cheapskate. Not in the “super duper asking neighboring table for their leftovers at a restaurant” cheap. But he will try to pass off going to Costco and getting free samples as a dinner date.  ~ Vocational school king. I feel like he would go to be a mechanic or heavy machinery. Very blue collar work in his future. We support that so hard too.

Dating headcanons

~ Typical teen meeting. He and Matsumoto were probably hanging out at the mall and ran into you and your group of friends, got to chatting, and exchanged numbers. Slowly led to a double date with one of your friends and Matsumoto (who didn't hit it off, sad your friends missing out on a big teddy!) but you and Yanagida seemed to be a match made in heaven! ~ Love language when receiving love: Physical touch. The guy loves a good cuddle or a smooch. Maybe even a nice back massage if he's lucky! ~ Love Language when giving love: Also loves showing his love through physical touch! He will keep an arm around your shoulder or waist, spoon you on the couch, piggy back rides, anything to feel you in contact with him. ~ The type of guy who sits next to you at dinner instead of across from you. Don't like feeling stuck inside the booth? No problem, he will sleep inside and you can have the edge ~ Gets absolutely offended and pouty if the first thing you don't do when you walk through the door is give him the usual hug he's been needing all day. The one where you wrap your arms around him firmly and bury your face into his chest while he rests his head on yours. ~ Starts using the same laundry detergent and fabric softener as you because it smells like you and he low-key realizes he likes "calming lavender fields" or whatever you are using at the time! ~ Actually a pretty decent cook! His favorite date night is making a romantic dinner for the two of you and serving you all cute. Will make funny waiter impressions as he brings things out to the table because he loves to hear you laugh.

[sleepyhead-poll]

SUBMISSIONS FOR THE LOSER'S BRACKET ARE OPEN!

Welcome to the Loser's Bracket submissions! If you don't know how it works, here's a rundown:

For about a week, I will have nominations open for the Loser's Bracket. Nominate as many characters as you want who were in the tournament but have lost, but do not nominate someone more than once or someone who wasn't in the main tournament. (All contestants who lost prior to the semifinals have a shot to be nominated.)

After the Loser's Bracket nominations have been recorded, I will take the top 16 most nominated characters and begin the Loser's Bracket, which will last 4 rounds. Each round will last only a day, unlike the main tournament, where each round lasted a week.

The winner of the Loser's Bracket will have an honorary place on the podium and be mentioned in the finals winners post.

All propaganda for the Loser's Bracket will be unique, so feel free to write more propaganda on why you think they deserve this second chance.

I will stop taking nominations the day that the semifinals poll is over, as I want to start the Loser's Bracket the day the finals go up.

I will take nominations through the ask box! Send the name of your character & any propaganda on why you think they should have won.

Under the cut is a list of ALL THE LOSERS thus far and WHICH ROUND THEY LOST IN. Feel free to scroll through it to refresh yourself on anyone you want to nominate. (I hope I spelled everyone's name right because that was a lot to type and I'm not doing that again lmao)

Lost During Round 1

Tanaka (Tanaka-kun is Always Listless)

Sanada Ryu (Kimi ni Todoke)

Yokune Ruko (UTAUloid)

Ritsu Sakuma (Ensemble Stars)

Tsukasa Hiiragi (Lucky Stars)

Chayanne (QSMP)

Koshiba Kiri (Beauty Pop)

Towa Motosu (World Dai Star)

Takenaka Hanbei (Samurai Warriors)

Budwin (Papa Louie)

Meguru Bachira (Blue Lock)

Judai Yuki (Yu-Gi-Oh! GX)

Sleepy Gary (Rick and Morty)

Viva Twilight (Master Detective Archives: Rain Code)

Garfield (Garfield)

Shari (Wayside School)

Takane Enomoto (Kagerou Project)

Howard Philips Lovecraft (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Belphegor (Obey Me! Shall we Date?)

En Yufuin (Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!)

Hyp (Touhou: Fantastic Danmaku Festival 2)

Meitenkun (King of the Fighters)

Mint (My Time at Portia)

Priscilla (Rune Factory 5)

Dreamer / Protagonist (Melatonin)

Clovis (Percy Jackson)

Towtow (Super Smash Bros.)

Link (Legend of Zelda)

Shota Aizawa / Eraser Head (My Hero Academia)

Shikamaru Nara (Naruto)

Vooshvazool's Bat (The Neverending Story)

Enrico Pollini (Rat Race)

Denjiro Kyoshiro (One Piece)

Sans (Undertale)

Midnight (Fairytale)

Ahito (Galactik Football)

Laffey (Azur Lane)

Noelle (NieR Reincarnation)

Nemu (Haibane Renmei)

Snoozing Carpenter (Sky: Children of the Light)

Aurora Sya Lis Goodreste (Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle)

Eve (Eaternal Nocturnal)

Elle (Crush Crush)

Hastings (One Upon a Time in Space)

Briar Beauty (Ever After)

Silver (Twisted Wonderland)

Ganyu (Genshin Impact)

Layla (Genshin Impact)

Totoro (My Neighbor Totor)

Slakoth & Slaking (Pokemon)

Musharna (Pokemon)

Dreaming Nemleria (Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG)

Noddy (Kirby)

Nemukko Nyago (Sanrio)

Citrus (Otherworldly Ravenous Beast)

Espinas (Monster Hunter)

Lazy Smurf (The Smurfs)

Paddi (Pleasant Goat and Big Bad Wolf)

Dozer (Cookie Run)

Forde (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones)

Trec (Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade)

Mirabilis (Fire Emblem: Heroes)

Sothis (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Ladybird (King of the Hill)

Lost During Round 2

Ritsuka Uenoyama (Given)

Kanata Konoe (love Live! Nijigasaki High School Idol Club)

Yoshihito Usaida (Gakuen Babysitters)

Yuuya Amane (Nukoduke!)

PJ Berri (Parappa the Rapper)

Nagi Seishiro (Blue Lock)

Sleepy Ernst (Destroy All Humans)

Peppermint Patty (Peanuts)

Saiko Yonebayashi (Tokyo Ghoul:re)

Kyoutarou Shuzenji (Cute Earth Defense Club HAPPY KISS!)

Hisoka Mikage (A3!)

Ryker (Rune Factory 5)

Madotsuki (Yume Nikki)

Talon (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

Agares Picero (Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun)

Mister Zzz (Batman)

Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)

Dino (That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime)

Nemurin (Magical Girl Raising Project)

Siffrin (In Stars and Time)

Sakuma Fueko (The Feelings We All Must Endure)

Sleepy (Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Sleeping Beauty (Shrek)

Sayu (Genshin Impact)

Slowpoke Evolution Line (Pokemon)

Caitlin (Pokemon)

Gudetama (Pokemon)

Number 6 Floof (Monster Hunter Stories)

Flower (Bambi)

Vampire Cookie (Cookie Run)

Mitama (Fire Emblem: Fates)

Durin (Arknights)

Lost During Round 3

Yumemi Nemu (Vocaloid)

Panda (Polar Bear Cafe)

Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Chiaki Nanami (Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair)

Kuro / Sleepy Ash / Sloth (Servamp)

Clorica (Rune Factory 4)

Hypnos (Hades)

Unconscious Argentinean (Moulin Rouge)

Sloth (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood)

Sunny (Omori)

Sleepytime Tea Bear (Celestial Sleepytime Tea)

Jing Beiyuan (Lord Seventh)

Komala (Pokemon)

Rainforest Dragon / RainWings (Wings of Fire)

Judd (Splatoon)

Haar (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance)

Lost During Round 4

Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga (Azumanga Daioh)

Jeff Wiggle (The Wiggles)

Nanaki Kazuaki (Hatoful Boyfriend)

Olruggio (Witch Hat Atelier)

Bedman (Guilty Gear)

Wonderland Sekai Megurine Luka (Project Sekai: Colorful Stage)

Snorlax (Pokemon)

Lindhardt von Hevring (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Lost During Round 5 (Quarterfinals)

Snoozer (Hamtaro)

Hotaru Yura (Magia Record)

Jade Harley (Homestuck)

Bedtime Bear (Care Bears)

[thottyimagines]

pls pls pls bless us with no nut november hc's for the konoha boys. i wanna know who's failing the first night and who make it to the end and everything in between. you're so funny and correct every single time alkshgjkahsjk

Thank you! It's still November when I get to this, so:

Naruto goes in with intense overconfidence and proclaims to the entire village that he will not only win the competition, but trounce Sasuke while doing it. He lasts about three days before succumbing to failure.

Sasuke simply channels all of his frustrations into training, as he always did. He does exceedingly well.

Kiba is stupid to even attempt this. He doesn't know what he was thinking, he admits, as he rubs one out but one hour into the competition.

Shino would quietly cave at two weeks in and tell no one. Everyone thinks he's won.

Shikamaru can see it through out of sheer laziness. It's easier to take a nap when the urge arises rather than go through the motions, anyway. A low-libido king in his element.

Choji tries very hard, because he thinks he's above his baser urges, but he's just not. He makes it to a strong three week showing and then he loses without fanfare. He is not one to shout his failure from the rooftops like Naruto, at least.

Neji has been busy leading a no nut life, so he obviously succeeds. He looks down on his peers for (a) even making a public event out of their lack of self control and (b) failing to see it through.

Rock Lee discovers the glory of masturbation via no nut November. He fails, like, midway through by experimenting to see exactly what he's signed up for.

[delirious-donna]

21, 30, 37 for the Nart asks?

21. would you want to learn medical ninjutsu?

Absolutely! It’s an amazing ninjutsu and I have a lot of respect for it. Lady Tsunade really was onto something about having a medical ninjutsu user on every four man team, it just makes sense!

30. what’s your favorite episode/chapter?

Ooft this is a real tough question. I’ll go with “Shikamaru’s Genius” and probably all the surrounding episodes as well. On my first watch, I found Shikamaru to be lazy, kinda full of himself and generally a downer but this arc was the light switch moment, specifically this episode.

His clear emotional turmoil at Asuma’s death really hurt my heart, and then when the complexity of his plan is unveiled slowly throughout the fights with Kakuzu and Hidan, I was completely blown away. It was like this brand new light was shone on Shika and it never turned off after that. Of course, he would never have lived up to his full potential without his sensei meeting that kind of fate, so we have to be thankful for Asuma’s sacrifice and his teaching of ‘protect your king’.

37. who would you want as your sensei?

In the bedroom, Kakashi, of course… sorry sorry!! If you thought I’d say anything else, I’m sorry have we met?

I think all the sensei had flaws, of course that makes them human, but there is no single perfect one when you look at their record and what befell their students over the years.

I think I’d pick Gai, which might be surprising to most but as a person I lack confidence in myself and he would be amazing at working on that issue with me. He would annoy the heck out of me as well but maybe I’d need that to work harder and focus on what really matters.

Send me Naruto asks!

[mayhemscorner]

You’re in my spot

Shikamaru x reader

Summary: reader finds someone in their favorite napping spot (Shikamaru fanfic because he���s one of my favorites? Yes please)

“Hey.” 

“Hey yourself, I’m trying to nap here.” Shikamaru grumbles, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“You’re in my spot.” The stranger huffs, kicking the outer part of Shikamaru’s leg.

“Get lost, I was here first.” Shikamaru yawns.

“And you’re on my property.” The stranger giggles,” but if you’re insistent, at least scoot over.”

Shikamaru cracks an eyelid open, he didn’t notice he had walked off his own property but the girl was right. The Nara compound was almost half a mile away. He stretches and gets up to move as she pipes up,” you don’t have to leave. Just don’t disturb the wildlife.” 

“Forget it.” Shikamaru huffs, starting to walk off and down to the road. She only shrugs before laying down in the ghostly warm spot that Shikamaru had given up. 

“What a drag, to think I’d get some peace and quiet.” He mumbles.

“You’re telling me, it’s not everyday you find someone already napping where you wanted to. I offered to share, but your loss.” She calls out to him. Shikamaru stops in his tracks, turning back to the spot he was at,” you don’t snore do you?”

“How should I know? I can’t exactly watch myself when I sleep. Are you going to keep asking bothersome questions or are you going to lay down?” She grumbles back to him.

“I guess. Not like I have anywhere else to go.” Shikamaru rolls his eyes, plopping down in the plush moss. That was what made the spot perfect. This whole area was moss instead of prickly grass, it was almost a phenomenon compared to the dirt and grassy fields on the Nara compound, even the rest of the leaf village. The two spent hours in silence, napping on and off. Thankfully, she didn’t snore. But, the two were still complete strangers. She finally sits up and stretches out as the sun sinks lower in the sky. 

“Great, I have to head home for dinner. You should probably go too, the bears are nocturnal.” The strange girl throws out over her shoulder. 

“Bears?” Shikamaru asks. 

“You are on Kuma compound land. Bears are pretty common here since we… work with them.” The sigh she lets off makes it seem like it’s a known fact.

“You’re an animal handler, Like the Inuzukas.” Shikamaru questions, finally intrigued.

“You’re half right. We can’t train bears like dogs, that’s just cruel. We have a contract with them. We offer them solace and safety on our land and in turn we inherit bear like qualities and can summon them in battle. It’s not that hard to grasp. What’s your name anyway?” She rambles on, deciding it was her turn to get a question in.

“Shikamaru.”

“Y/N. Now get off my property, I want to go eat.” Y/N smirks, showing it was at least half banter. 

Y/N knew he was a Nara, she wasn’t stupid. It just threw her off with always being told the Nara’s had a genius kid, when the one she met seemed like a dunce. Maybe he had an older brother. As she watches his figure grow smaller Y/N decides to shout out,” you’re more than welcome to come back in daylight, just don’t show up after dark and don’t take my spot.” 

The next day, he was there in the same spot. Only this time he had a basket full of random things.

“My dad made me bring this, just some useless stuff.” Shikamaru huffs, stretching his hand out to give her the basket. She looks down noticing berries and dried meat, as well as a few jars of what seemed to be ointments or some medical remedies.

“That’s crazy, my mom made me bring a basket to give to you instead of saying I had tell you to get the hell off the property.” Y/N chuckles, remembering how her mom was excited to hear a Nara had graced the compounds presence. The crazy woman filled the basket with acorns and apples as well as some preserved fruits and jellies she made. Then lastly a fancy scroll offering the Nara family to dinner and explaining the acorns and apples were for the deer. The two exchanged baskets, looking confused.

“I guess, do you want to feed a bear?” Y/N pipes up, reaching at the hide necklace around her neck and blowing at the trinket attached to make a sound. Three bears soon come lazily trudging from the tree line, already sniffing at the basket. Shikamaru could see the resemblance in laziness, maybe he should work with bears. Napping all day and eating whenever seemed like the perfect dream. One bear nudges him forward and crashing in towards Y/N, sending them both plummeting to the ground.

“Gure, stop pushing.” Y/N groans from underneath Shikamaru who winces himself. 

“Your face is pink.” She points out, reaching a hand up to poke at Shikamaru’s cheek, causing his eyebrow to twitch and face flush hotter.

“That happens when all the blood rushes to my head, damnit.” Shikamaru quickly defends, rolling off to hide his face from reddening anymore. 

“Anyways these are the triplets, Gure, Kuro, and Chairo. We work together.” Y/N explains nonchalantly while dropping a handful of berries in Shikamaru’s hand. 

“You say that like you work an office job with them. It’s cool I guess.” Shikamaru yawns out while Kuro nuzzles in to him, knocking the poor guy down again before robbing the berries from his hand. 

“You get used to that.” Y/N laughs laying down next to him and giving in to the pile of lazy bears for a mid morning nap. 

“Well, You all look like you got in to some fermented fruit. And Y/N, what did I tell you about napping?” Y/N’s mom comes down the clearing laughing at the sight. 

“I’m an adult now, and I don’t have another mission for three days. I can afford a nap.” Y/N reluctantly grumbles before getting knocked upside the head by the back of her mothers hand. 

“If you’re an adult why don’t you find love and move out already?” Her mom recoils quickly back as Shikamaru rises from under Kuros giant paw. She blushes slightly,”I didn’t realize that’s what you were working on out here.” 

Both Y/N and Shikamaru have to pick their jaws up from the forest floor from the off guard comment. 

“Mom, disgusting. Take this basket and get out of here!” Y/N pushes the basket from the Nara’s to her mother and groans in embarrassment. 

“Oh my, how thoughtful! A basket from the Nara clan. I can’t wait to rub this in Tsume’s face.” The older lady tilts her head back in laughter at the thought of the slim possibility seeing her favorite rival becoming jealous. It was common to have dinner with the Inuzuka’s, listening to the two mothers argue and try anything in their will to get any of the siblings together so the clans could finally unite. Kiba unfortunately was too much of a brotherly figure to Y/N, and Hana didn’t care much for Y/N’s brothers. Regardless, they still attempted. And it was annoying. 

“I would apologize for her, but she’s not my responsibility.” Y/N mutters quietly to Shikamaru while standing and brushing off the stray pieces of moss from her hair. Shikamaru only shrugs, then crawls his way out of the mess of the still sleeping bears.

“Wait until you meet my mom, this is nothing.” Shikamaru groans as he gathers the basket to take home. Before leaving, he picks one last piece of moss from Y/N’s hair, letting his hand hover by the side of her face for maybe a moment too long as they both look at each other, refusing to blink.

The following days, it was the same routine.

Wake up, nap in the field, tend to the bear’s, eat dinner, train at dark, go to bed. Y/N couldn’t complain, but dinner with the Nara family before leaving on a mission loomed over her. 

“This blows, why are we having dinner right before I leave?” Y/N groans, grabbing plates to set the table.

“It’s not like it’s any different than when we have dinner with the Inuzuka’s before a mission Y/N. You act like you actually like the boy.” She chuckles, grabbing the nice silverware. Y/N’s cheeks flush red as she becomes flustered,” stop trying to marry me off, you’re being nice to someone who trespassed on our property.”

“You remind me so much of your father.” Her mother groans, looking at the picture on the living room wall boasting a tall man sprawled over the same couch that still sits with four kids on top of him as he takes a nap without a care in the world,” lazy at home. Hated settling down. Always complaining… but still a stand up shinobi of the leaf.”

She pats Y/N’s head, messing up her freshly washed hair as the doorbell rings. Her eyes light up in realization as she whispers,” you even showered and put makeup on!”

Y/N groans as she opens the door, revealing Shikamaru and his own family. Shikamaru had even cleaned up a bit, tossing away his usual shirt for a dressier black one. 

“These are for your family.” Shikaku grumbles out from behind, extended a bouquet of wildflowers as the two younger adults sigh. 

“Charming… mom these are for you.” Y/N groans, passing the flowers to her excited mom,” go get your brothers it’s time to eat!”

“Hey, get down here and get some food before I possibly die on my mission.” She screams from the bottom of the stairs, unleashing three grown men tumbling down in a frenzy, only halting at the realization they have guests.

“Kyokuchi, Kawa, Mori, these are the Nara’s. Try to chew with your mouth closed, these people aren’t the Inuzuka’s”

“Figured that much out when ma busted out the fine china. These those fancy shadow people she always rambles about and your new boyfriend?” Mori chuckles out. Kawa is quick to slap him upside the head,” she’s an adult it’s called a potential suitor at this age, Mori. Can’t wait till you catch slack for bringing a girl home and Y/N gets to be an absolute asshole to you.”

“Language!” Their mom calls out in unison with the level headed of the triplets, Kyokuchi.

“Don’t chastise them on our account, swearing is shown to be beneficial in the traumatic life of a shinobi.” Shikaku sighs out, sitting at the table and unceremoniously taking his ratted deer skin shawl off to reveal a nice button down shirt. 

“And you must be Yoshino. I’m Kuroi Kuma. It’s an honor for you to have dinner with us!” Y/N’s mom gushes, leading Yoshino to a chair before setting food on the table. The three brothers slide in next to each other leaving to seats next to each other for Shikamaru and Y/N. Shikaku glares at Shikamaru’s hand on the back of the seat before meeting his eyes,” such a gentleman I raised.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Shikamaru drones, pulling the chair out and motioning with his other hand towards a confused Y/N,” uhm, thanks?”

They awkwardly sit, blushing in the silence of everyone eating, save for the three rambunctious brothers gnawing loudly on their food. It was so quiet, it almost drove Y/N crazy listening to the old clock tick away,” I’m going to go eat on the back porch, it’s pretty stuffy in here.”

“Y/N, we have guests. Why don’t you tell us a little about your mission tonight?” Kuroi seethes out, motioning a threatening finger downwards. Y/N drops her plate back down and begrudgingly slams back in to her chair,” it’s a lousy mission. We’re just being sent as support to help track a rouge that’s trying to reinstate the Akatsuki.”

“That’s some dangerous stuff. Good thing Shikamaru is going as well.” Shikaku chuckles out with a sideways smile, egging on the mass humiliation of the two.

“It’s a drag is what it is. Some idiot thinks anyone other than Naruto is strong enough to reinstate an organization that leveled villages. No one is strong enough in these days.” Shikamaru groans, shoveling a spoonful of food in his mouth and talking.

“We said the same during previous wars. Someone in the academy will be stronger than you all one day. Surpass you with flying colors even. New Jutsus are invented everyday, Shikamaru. I figured you were smart enough to put that together.” Shikaku shoots back.

“It is pretty stuffy in here, I think I’ll join Y/N outside where there isn’t any nagging.” Shikamaru says in finality. He looks over to Y/N, waiting to be ushered to the porch. Her realization sets in, quickly jumping to the door with her plate as her mother calls out,” don’t forget to bring your plates in!”

“I’m sorry about them.” They both say as the door shuts.

“No I-“

“Oh sorry you g-“

“Ah, damnit.” Y/N mutters out as they both stumble over each others words.

“I guess it’s a universal parent thing to embarrass us.” Shikamaru finally smiles, taking a stewed miniature potato between his teeth as they sit across each other on the porch. Y/N smiles back, continuing to eat as they turn their attention to the moss covered land that stretches on. She can’t help but laugh,” I think it’s stupid really.”

“What is?” Shikamaru asks in confusion.

“Can I be honest for a minute? My mom thinks she can rope me in to these dinners to set me up with a man or try to tie in to another family. I think love is stupid. Why should I have to depend on another person?” She babbles out, dropping her fork and lounging on her forearms to soak in the high sun.

“Tell me about it. Look how vulnerable it’s made my parents. My dad would die for the woman without blinking an eye.” Shikamaru sighs, following suit in the same position as Y/N.

She lays fully back, smacking her head lightly against the rough wood beneath them,” at least someone finally gets it. Now convince my mother.”

Shikamaru lays on his side to look at her,” only if you convince mine first.”

They both laugh, and Shikamaru watched as she bared sharp canine teeth, how the sun bounced off her eyelashes and down to her irises. How her hair glistened. He became silent, realizing what his mind had just processed, she was a decent looking woman. They could have two kids, first a girl. Than a boy. He’d retire after their daughter was married and their son successful, and spend the rest of his days playing shogi or go before dying of old age before her. He quickly sits up, snatching his plate,” I’m going to go take care of this. I’ll take yours too.”

“Good luck, my moms going to pressure you in to a slice of her triple berry pie and talk your ear off for half an hour.” She fires back, curling in on herself to try for a quick nap. Shikamaru smiles, slipping back inside, and immediately bombarded by the two mothers,” I seen the spark Kuroi.”

“I seen it, I seen it Yoshino!” Kuroi fans out as they clutch each others hands, already showing a close bond. 

“You two stop staring at them through the door like it’s a soap opera and leave them be.” Shikaku grumbles from the table, slicing a piece of pie before continuing,” now go share a slice of pie with her and get out of here before they start rattling off baby names.”

“You’re feeding in to this nonsense too?” Shikamaru asks defeatedly, grabbing the single slice of pie. Shikaku only smirks,” I’m thinking Shikainu.”

Shikamaru scoffs, leaving the possibly intoxicated parents, and quickly handing Y/N the slice of pie,” here. You can have it.”

“You should try a bite first if you aren’t having a slice to yourself. It is pretty good.” She confusedly suggests, sliding the plate back to him. He slides it back, causing a chess match with the small plate of pie before Y/N forcefully grabs the fork and his shirt collar,” one bite damnit!”

His mouth clamps against the fork harshly, quickly becoming intoxicated with the sweet taste against his mouth and the questionable sensation of her forcefully feeding him. His face once again reddens before turning away,” it’s alright I guess.”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re allergic to berries, your face is going red again.” She says dumbfounded.

“It’s not the damn berries. It’s just hot out here.” He defends trying his best to look away.

“…you’re blushing?” She asks, sitting against her knees in front of him,” you fell in to their trap!”

“You just looked kind of pretty, I’m not in love with your or anything so calm down.” He quickly utters out, glancing quickly at her own blushing face. 

“Why are you blushing? Did you fall in to their trap?” He shoots back, smirking at the small win. She turns away, trying to cross her arms but falls quickly over on top of him. She gasps at the closeness before scrambling backwards,” absolutely not! Are you crazy?”

“You’re the one throwing yourself at me, Y/N. And you said love was stupid.” He eggs her on, somewhat enjoying he caught her unable to hide her feelings as he keeps hold of her arms to prevent her from climbing away.

“It was-is! Let go of me before our parents get the wrong idea, damnit!” Y/N yells out, tugging against his grip. Shikamaru bravely leans closer,” or we could get them off our backs and pretend.”

“Pretend? How do you pretend to love someone?” Y/N shrieks out in a whisper, finally meeting his gaze and realizing how close he had leaned in,” like this.”

Shikamaru leans in, connecting their lips for a brief moment before mumbling against hers,” you don’t have to like it. But this should get them off our backs. They were starting to discuss baby names in there and I like my freedo-“

He’s cut off by Y/N reconnecting their lips and her hands sliding down to grasp his. 

“At least make it convincing since this was your bright idea.” She grumbles between his lips. He kisses back, not for show, but for his own guilty pleasure. It felt kind of nice. Plus the scene of future memories flashes across his mind every time her lips touched his. A life he wanted, a life he maybe even craved. She pulls away,” we can stop now, they walked away from the door.”

“Or we could keep doing this.” He offers coyly, smirking dumbly towards her.

“You’re losing oxygen and brain cells.” She scoffs, placing another quick kiss against his lips regardless.

“You aren’t saying no.” Shikamaru points out.

“Love is stupid because it makes you stupid. But I guess if I have to go stupid for anyone… I could always settle with you.” She fires back, laying fully down against his side as he huffs a silent laugh,” I’m not dying for you though.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, but we should get ready for our mission.” Y/N croaks out between a yawn.

“What a drag. I forgot all about it.” He sighs.

“I told you, you lost too much oxygen.” She giggles back.

“Give me some motivation and I’ll make sure you live through this mission.” He smugly offers. She punches his shoulder,” not killing you should be motivation enough.”

He looks down to her toothy smile and threatening eyes in horror,” you got me there.”

She wraps an arm around his neck, placing one last kiss on his lips and sighing,” but that’s for making sure I live.”

“And one more to make sure you don’t get hurt?”

“Don’t push your luck, I can handle getting hurt.”

“Got it, I’ll see you in an hour.”

The Nara’s favored stronger women. Ones that could defend themselves. Ones that could become leaders on their own. And Shikamaru fell in to the fickle trap clueless men before him called love. It was a drag, but less of a drag than facing future events alone. Maybe it wasn’t such a drag after all…

[sinqueen69]

I posted 1,426 times in 2022

725 posts created (51%)

701 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sinqueen69

@phildrawsfanart

@allthingskenobi

@lightoftheseraph

@kimmycup

I tagged 792 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#sinqueen69 answers - 610 posts

#sinqueen69 - 84 posts

#dcu - 76 posts

#18+ - 64 posts

#top 5 ask meme - 63 posts

#ship or sink - 56 posts

#bnha - 38 posts

#star wars - 35 posts

#18+ ask game - 34 posts

#ship ask game - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 56 characters

#aizawa shouta | eraserhead/toyomitsu taishirou | fat gum

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

c, a, v, b, r, t, y, p for alec and magnus

Alec

C = Cum - He is embarrassed by how much he enjoys being covered or filled with cum, but Magnus is all for this side of Alec

A = Aftercare - Alec never gave it much thought until Magnus began to pamper him, now he just opens his arms and sinks into the love and care

V = Volume - He is rather quiet unless Magnus ruins him with pleasure and draws noises out of him purposely

B = Body part - He loves Magnus' un-glamoured eyes, he is fond of his neck rune mainly because of how much Magnus loves it

R = Risk - Alec is willing to try anything once, he trusts Magnus to make sure nothing goes wrong

T = Toy - Only when Magnus uses toys on him, but he still can't muster up the courage to use any toys on his own

Y = Yearning - He never had much of a sex drive until Magnus, not even masturbation but now all he has to do is see Magnus and it's an effort not to jump his lover right then and there

P = Pace - Slow and Sensual

Magnus

C = Cum - He is happily compatible with Alec's surprising cum kink, together they work

A = Aftercare - Magnus is the king of aftercare, he adores spoiling and pampering Alec because Alec is so clearly not used to it but is learning to love it slowly because of Magnus

V = Volume - Magnus is never shy with his pleasure, he gets loud when it feels good and can go speechless when Alec makes him cum so hard he sees spots

B = Body part - He loves Alec's neck rune, for himself he likes his hands and his ever changing nail polish

R = Risk - Magnus is well versed in everything, so he's always ready and willing to experiment with Alec at his side

T = Toy - Magnus has made his own toys alongside with already made ones, he knows exactly how to use toys of any sort and he happily uses his skills on Alec

Y = Yearning - Over time his sex drive has simmered but once he and Alec begin to have sex, it just goes into overdrive.

P = Pace - Slow and Sensual

39 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#4

Superbat (Bruce x Clark)

Ship It

What made you ship it? - Their team work, the way they complement each other

What are your favorite things about the ship? - The standard Broody One is soft for the Sunshine One

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? - Bruce bottoms and only bottoms when with Clark

39 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#3

Shikanaru

They try everything at least once, Naruto travelled for years with Jiraiya, he no doubt helped with the Icha Icha Series and got the most in-depth Sex Talk ever. He took notes and happily applied his notes to Shikamaru once they got together

Shadow Clones and Shadow Possession Jutsu are commonplace in their sex life

Shikamaru really puts in the effort, he is NOT lazy when it comes to pleasure and Naruto is living for it

45 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#2

Jonmund for the ask game!

Ship It

What made you ship it? - Size Difference, enemies to friends to lovers trope

What are your favourite things about the ship? - How much they love and trust each other, that fucking GLOMP in S8, how Tormund waited for him at the end of S8 because he KNEW Jon belonged in the North with him and Ghost and then they went into the North to live peacefully together <3 That's a proper endgame pairing

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? - Nah, I'm pretty good with all the opinions and headcanon's for this ship.

51 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

geralt and scent kink

With his enhanced senses, I feel like scent is a very big deal for him.

I"m sure that he has found ways to deal with it, but something about Jaskier's scent never fails to make him go crazy and he finds it a comfort. He also never fails to get turned on whenever he smells arousal in Jaskier's scent, it's like a conditioned reaction by some point lol

59 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[narasnooze]

"I have never played that. My sensei showed me how to play Shōgi in my genin days, and ever since then I've loved it. And possibly been too lazy to learn another game." he replied light-heartedly. Of course he had been too preoccupied to, as well. The world had been the way it had, after all... He had ironically become exactly what he dreaded as a child.

The following sentence from Han did surprise him, though. The choice of words was a bit grand, wasn't it? Sure, he was aware that people saw him as a genius, as ridiculous as it was, but... 'the very model of a wisdom king' ? Now he felt a bit embarrassed. Shikamaru raised his right arm to rub at the back of his neck in discomfort and awkwardly glanced down at the board game and then around them.

"I, ah.. dunno about that.." But the risk-part? Absolutely. He had fallen into difficult decisions and crucial situations many times, but it was one more recent that still held a choking grip of him.

"Everyone has their ups-and-downs." he tried to catch onto the mention of risks to erase the previous words of Han, tilting his head slightly and attempting a more confident smile but failed. The Hokage's right hand, high ranked strategist and the Head of his Clan... Shikamaru was still very much the awkward guy he'd always been.

"There's always a risk, though, isn't it? With a plan, a deal, a confession.. a choice of what colour your kid want their teddybear to be... Get the wrong one and you won't be allowed into your own house for three hours." The shadow nin gestured for Han to be the first to move his pieces.

Playing games, having various relaxed conversations was a great way to learn to know someone and it felt important to know Han. Perhaps he should let the guy teach him this mahjong game... broaden his interests to be a better, versatile company.

"Truthfully, if it's a game of strategy, I believe mahjong to be a superior game." He had his reasons for this of course, and not just because he had formerly been an old man. Perhaps if the Nara proved curious or interesting enough, he might explain why.

Still, he supposed he could play Shogi with this man. He didn't expect himself to win, but one could learn much about a person by how they played, after all.

"I'm not surprised to hear that you enjoy it though. A man like yourself is the very model of a wisdom king... but that brings risks as well as rewards."

[hopemikaelsvns-moved]

shikamaru is such mood but also HIS MIND?? like boy, shikamaru mind is something else and im living for shikamaru being badass like that.

he’s such an icon

[kibaswhore]

Mortal enemy w/ Shikamaru (18+)

Content warning: Shikamaru x reader, smut, sorta crack, Shikamaru is more canon than canon; read responsibly.

“Mortal enemy my ass, look how hard you just came for me.” Shikamaru grinned.

His lips finally left your clit and he pulled his index and middle finger out of your hole. You watched him wipe his chin of your juices and suck the mixture of his and your cum off his fingers as he stood up from his position in between your legs. You were already pretty lightheaded from the orgasm you experienced, but the sight of Shikamaru standing before you in his naked glory was dizzying. He was still hard and you haphazardly reached out for his cock in hopes of getting a third round in before he gently swatted your hand away.

“Nope, he’s retired for the day.” The boy bent over you and landed a sloppy kiss before pulling away and crouching down next to his mattress. You sat up from your damp spot in his bed as you looked over to see him rummaging in the mini-fridge he had in his room. He finally stood up to face you with two juice boxes in his hands.

“Juice?” There was a long pause between his question and your response in which you two just looked at each other, both naked as the day you were born, wondering how the hell it could’ve come to this. You let out a sigh. “Do you have apple?”

He tossed you a juice box and you revelled in how cold it was, very silently thanking Shikamaru not only for the drink but for his laziness that drove him to get a fridge in his room. Although you weren’t too fond of the taste of apple mixed with the residuals of sperm lingering on your tongue after your late-night escapade with the Jonin.

“Also you should probably go pee since we just had sex and all,” He climbed over you to his side of the bed and pulled out his laptop before getting comfortable scrolling through some streaming service. God this boy is insufferable. He was absolutely right, but your glare never left him until you scooted towards the edge of the king-sized bed. Why did he need a king-sized bed? He was surely no king. Shikamaru looked up from the shitty drama displaying on his laptop screen and smirked at you, your back now completely facing him. “Tell me if you need help walking.”

[effeminateboyninja]

Hi there! I happened upon your blog a while back and followed when I started getting hardcore Naruto obsessed (specifically, I’m a total Shika simp), and I really love your writing :) I was wondering if I could request some fluffy dad!Shikamaru content throughout his s/o’s pregnancy and labor/delivery and being an emotional mess upon meeting his baby for the first time. But overall just being a great dad and an amazing supportive partner!! 😭💞

thanks so much hon!!! 💚💚💚 im actually so soft for this concept (and this man) and now that i'm about to post this i have an idea for a really cute one shot??? in the future i guess, but for now enjoy some headcanons 😌

Shikamaru pregnancy hcs ♡

child by bry 🎶

when you first tell him you’re expecting he experiences a split second of panic. a baby?! aren’t they like, a lot of work? that’s not really his thing

but once the initial surprise wears off and he starts picturing your little family — lazy mornings with another tiny person snuggled up between the two of you… the idea doesn’t seem too troublesome after all

so he wraps you up into his arms, squeezing you tight as he chuckles, “well changing diapers is gonna be a drag,” he pauses to place a soft kiss on your lips, “but there’s no one else I’d rather start a family with.”

shikamaru would be the most calming person to be around during your pregnancy. he’s so patient with your mood swings and always manages to stay calm when you’re stressing about the babies arrival

he leaves most of the planning to you, you’re just better at that stuff he says, and lbr he’s probably right. you know he’ll be a dedicated father but picking out nursery colours is certainly not his forte

gets a lil embarrassed when people congratulate him on the pregnancy or ask about baby names and things like that. “ask (y/n)” becomes his new catchphrase

underneath all those sighs and bashful looks though, he’s just as excited as you and your friends. he knows it’s silly but he can’t wait to teach the little one shogi

would always be there to massage your feet and order fast food for your weird cravings! honestly anything to keep you happy and calm amidst all the pregnancy hormones, he’s a bit scared of the screaming and/or crying that might ensue otherwise

the big day finally comes and he feels 100% out of place in the delivery room. the fact that he can’t do anything, just the unpredictability of it all, it drives him wild. He’ll put on a brave face for you though, he knows he needs to stay calm for you

(he’s working on his breathing just as hard as you but plays it off like he’s just coaching you through it)

and then when it’s finally over, and everything is calm again, they ask him if he wants to hold his child and his whole world stops for the second time in his life since he met you

he thought he understood Asuma’s last words; that the king was really the next generation, but looking at down at this beautiful person that you made together, so healthy and innocent and perfect - it takes on a whole new meaning

so he cries. for the first time since his sensei’s death, but this time they’re tears of joy, of just pure disbelief that he could have ever made something so precious… it must’ve been you, he thinks as he looks up you, too happy to even be embarrassed by the tears that are falling down his cheeks

might complain a bit, but he puts in his fair share of work, often getting up in the middle of the night to soothe the crying baby so you can get some much needed rest

early morning cuddles with the three of you are a regular occurrence.

i think shikamaru would really start to shine as a father once the baby period is over, he’d spend time playing with them and teaching them everything he knows

he has a habit of dozing off while he reads bedtime stories. you’ve found him on more than one occasion snuggled up beside your little one in their small, plastic bed, their picture book from the night still laying on his chest.

and you know he’ll moan about how sore his neck is the next day if you don’t wake him and bring him to bed with you, but the moment is just too sweet, too endearing to end that soon, so you’ll wait just a minute or two longer before leaning over Shikamaru’s sleeping form and whispering, “you did it again,” to which he’ll scoff and say he just had a long day, but you know the truth

like his own father he’s a bit awkward when it comes to parental affection but he does his best, and he’s always there to give your child advice or get their mind of things with an afternoon of cloud watching

Shikamaru might be a lazy guy but he would do anything for his family, 10/10 amazing father

[tokyomeowji]

fear in a handful of dust.

eddie ‡ they/them ‡ AO3

number one cat mom † twenty - eight † i cry too much

this is not a spoiler free zone // please, no minors

love: anime, cats, combat boots, enamel pins, horror, manga, plants, popcorn, sci-fi, ship fics, unsweet tea

hate: being an adult, getting wet, roaches, summer time, sweet tea

media: AgK!, BNHA, Bob's Burgers, Community, FMA&Brotherhood, Gravity Falls, Grey's Anatomy, HXH, JJK, KnY, Mashle, Mob, Naruto&Shippuden, SnK, Spy X Family, Steven Universe, Tokyo Rev, TriStamp and honestly anything including Andy Samberg & Seth Rogan

music: AFI, All Time Low, Atreyu, Capital Cities, Everything Everything, FOB, idkHow, Joywave, MCR, Ninja Sex Party, Panic!, Styx, The Happy Fits, The Lonely Island, The Used, Twenty One Pilots, TWRP, WALK THE MOON

good reads: BNHA, JJK, John Dies at the End, KnY, The Dark Tower series(currently on book five), Tokyo Rev & LFKB, I was going to list out a lot of Stephen King but I'm being lazy

the best boys: Chifuyu, Choso, Genya, Gojo, Hanma, Itachi, Kazutora, Kirishima, Ling!Greed, Lubbock, Muichiro, Mustang, Nanami, Ryusei, Shikamaru

just you and i, your starless eyes remain.