#shes one of the best things to ever exist on this planet

[locallesbianinyourarea]

CYANA ART!!!!! this was the first ever time i EVER drew her and i think she looks great! we <3 cyana in this household

[inupibaldspot]

Wingman ain’t subtle.

Paring: Gojo Satoru x reader

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : This takes place when Gojo and the rest are students and you are one year senior/older than them

Gojo thinks today is a bad day.

“y/n-senpai apparently only dates guys older than her” Shoko says she sucks the drink from the straw. As much as she’d like to be smoking, it wasn’t allowed on campus.

The lollipop in Gojo’s mouth falls to the ground which makes Geto snort.

“Sucks to you Satoru.” He comments. “If only you were born a year or two before you’d have a chance.”

Gojo winches as he looks over to Shoko with eyes pleading that she was lying “For real?”

“Yeah.” Shoko and you shared being gifted with Reverse Cursed Technique so they’d spend a lot of time training together so the two were close.

Ever since he learned that fact, Gojo had Shoko be his wing man on learning to be and also learn about your type. She was hesitant at fist but oh boy! Gojo was so hopelessly in love with you she kinda felt bad. Shoko adds. “She thinks older guy make her feel protected.”

Gojo huffs, his stomach churns with jealousy. “I’m literally the strongest…” who else would you need to feel protected?

To add on the fact that learning about him having no chance with you because of the year he was born — ‘Satoru was spawn killed.’ Geto would add— he and his classmates had forgotten to put up a veil during a mission which triggered Yaga’s, their teacher in charge, wrath.

Yaga takes in a deep breath“How many times do I have to tell you to put up a veil ?!”

Gojo really couldn’t careless as his teacher yaps away and probably neither did both of his two friends. He could see Geto nod at times as if acting like he was taking Yaga’s word to heart and with Shoko dozing off with her eyes open.

He does his best to fight back a yawn as something suddenly grabs his attention. You. His eyes trail to you ,who was a year senior to him, walking along the hallway, revealed by the long strip of windows between the classroom and hall. Gojo thinks you’re the loveliest piece of existence in the planet as you gently tug a piece of hair behind as you talk with Utahime.

Feeling a piercing gaze — or maybe it was Yaga’s shouts— you look over inside the class as meet your eyes with beautiful vibrant blue ones of your junior, Gojo Satoru’s.

When you give him a smile and a small wave, you weren’t expecting him to straight up beam at your direction and full on wave as if a kid would wave at an airplane passing by.

Of course this angered Yaga further as a nerve pops on his forehead and hands clenched. “Pay attention, Satoru!” He swings his fist at the boy.

The impact of his teacher’s fist on him sends him flying. If he weren’t such a good student he would have actually used his limitless to block such hits but alas— it may not look like it but he was. “Sensei—! Hitting your students should be against the law.”

He sees Geto sent him an amused smirk and Shoko,who finally woke up, trying to figure out what was happening and to his horror, you were giggling at him. Not many things can make Gojo feel embarrassed but his crush laughing at him when he got hit was one of it.

Yup-! That’s exactly what he needed; his crushing laughing as he gets beat up and lectured by his teacher. His day was going fan-tas-tic!

The day goes on with with the remaining classes. Evening classes were usually training so Shoko was in infirmary with Gojo and Geto on the training grounds but one thing bother Gojo was that the ‘hit’ from Yaga earlier did leave an impact. The back of his head a aching and even made him jump when Geto applied the slightest bit of pressure.

Call him dramatic but he didn’t want the ache to go on further so there he was on his way to the infirmary. He really needed Shoko to patch him up.

He slides the door open as he starts to complain. “Shoko heal me up. Yaga’s hit really did some damage on me”

“You’re hurt?”

Hearing a voice which wasn’t Shoko’s and with almost a magic like ability to make his heart race grabbed his attention. He turns to see you who was near the storage cabinet as if you were arranging something.

“I- uhh…” Suddenly his throat constricted and he couldn’t speak. His face heats up as you tilt your head waiting for an answer as he clears his throat. “Just a bit, y/n.”

“Shoko is out though. She got called to assist in a mission. ” You smile as you sit on a near by chair, pulling another chair beside.

You smile at him as you pat the chair beside yours indicating him to sit down there which makes him tense up slightly but he does as told. “Also you should be calling me ‘senpai’. Utahime-senpai was complaining that youth these days have no manner.”

You laugh. “Now tell me where you’re hurt.”

He sits beside you as he tilts his head and points at his sore spot. “Here.”

Gojo watches you raise your hand and inspect his heat, the places where your fingers grazes heats up which makes him gulp deeply. You laugh as you see a swelling on his head. “Wow- Sensei really did hit you hard…”

The white haired boy relaxes as he he feels the calming sensation on his head which means you were using your technique of healing him. “Does age really matter that much?”

You hum as if thinking through your answer. “Of course. Even a year older means you’ve been in this world for a year longer. That in itself is commendable enough.”

“I heard from Shoko that you like guys older…” Gojo says no longer trying to contain the jealousy in his voice. “Is it because of the same reason?”

Gojo watches your eyes widen and blink in confusion; he thinks any expression you make is so so adorable. You then proceed to giggle. “Just because I dated people who are older than me doesn’t mean I have a type.”

Damn that Shoko probably messed around with her wording. Gojo curses as the girl made it seem you would only date guys older than her.

“For example…” You hum as you bring your finger up to your lips. “Right now I like a guy who is younger than me who never respects his elder.”

Hearing her words, every restrain in his body breaks free and Gojo stands up from his seat ; before he knows it his lips are on yours. He hold your face in place, cupping both side of his cheeks.

Gojo kisses you. Your lips are softer than he imagined it to be and when you let out a small moan he deepens it, stronger and desperate as if trying to memorize every inch of you.

He brings one of his hands to the back of your head, as he runs his hands through your hair. His lips keep moving as if he had lost his mind; deep and urgent as if he couldn’t waste a single second.

Out of breath, he pulls away and looks at you who was breathing heavily and lips slightly plump from his desperate tugs and bites. He watches the same lips curl into a smile as you give him a teasing smile. “Also tell Shoko to quit being your wing man,Satoru. She isn’t quite subtle about it.”

Check out more of my work here !! <3

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of 'Simps 'R Us', Call of Duty: Medic. How is your fave as a patient when you have to take care of them when they're sick/injured?

Capt. John Price - Probably the grumpiest patient ever; doesn't really know what to do with himself while he's recuperating. Also can't smoke so that contributes to the grumpiness. The boys will poke fun at him (read: Gaz and Soap) and Price threatens to make them do wall sits when he gets better. The plus side is that you're there to keep him company.

Gaz - Is somewhere in the middle between grumpy and the best patient ever, depending. Luckily, he has an abundance of entertainment in you and whatever movie or puzzle you have for him.

Alex Keller - Is actually quite agreeable as a patient where you're concerned. When he's sick, Alex is the one who has Vick's vapor rub slathered under his nose, on his chest, on his feet (with socks on, too), and he's under as many blankets as possible. Even though he hates being hot, he's prepared to sweat that motherfucker out because he'll be damned if he leaves you hanging, Boss. ❤️

Soap - Golden Retriever as fuck. This is the man who can clear a fucking building, y'all. Soap is the one who's absolutely heartbroken and mopes in bed for all the wrong reasons. How could you do this to him? How could you leave him when he's at his lowest? How could you—"Johnny, I'm in the other room."

Ghost - What is man but a miserable pile of Ghosts? Simon is agreeable because he's knocked the fuck out asleep 80% of the time. He's also under a lot of blankets. Like... a lot. So much so that you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's just a pile on the bed and not him. The only way you can tell is the tuft of hair sticking out from under the covers. Also has a tendency to sleep curled up somewhat. He feels... safe.

Roach - Is absolutely, 💯 the best patient ever. You hardly have to ever worry about him. For the most part.

Keegan - Keegan is just... there. Existing. And feel just like he looks right now: sorry and like shit. He's right there in the middle, surprisingly; he really only calms down and accepts the help because you sweet talk him into doing so.

Alejandro - Is the one who has to warm up to being a patient because if he had it his way, he'd work from bed. Good thing he doesn't and you and Rudy are there to keep his ass in bed and AWAY from the desk. He winds up loving it, though, because it means he gets to flirt with you endlessly.

Rudy - The perfect patient. In fact, he's the one who'd have a list of home remedies passed down in his family so Rudy's always prepared if something were to happen.

König - His nervous energy won't keep him down for long and, surprisingly, König hates being tended to. Doesn't like the implied helplessness that comes with it. He'll relent somewhat after you've lectured him but there are some trying moments.

Horangi - Probably the absolute worst because he won't stay down for anything. Horangi likes to move around because it helps him to not concentrate on the pain. You'd have to literally proposition him or something like that to make him stay in one place lmao.

Graves - The most complaining motherfucker on the planet. Doesn't like this shit at all. He'd have a change of heart if you were butt naked while taking care of him, darlin'.

Valeria - The one who's busy being pampered while plotting revenge on the bastard(s) who managed to get her sick.

Farah - The one who feels guilty for being in the state that she's in and would rather she tend to herself but Farah relents when you tell her she deserves this and more. It's so cute the way she gets a little bashful when you do so.

[heliads]

Can I pretty please request Carlos Sainz x reader where she’s rly shy and gets worried that maybe he wants someone more outgoing but he tells her he loves her any way she is? Your writing is amazing 🫶🏻

anon i love you wholeheartedly please let me speak on carlos

masterlist

You are not who you are supposed to be. There are qualifications for being the girlfriend of a Formula One driver, you’re sure of it, probably even a style guide somewhere if you only bothered to look it up. Perfect hair. Clean makeup. Pretty, but doesn’t try too hard. Willing to give up their whole life to follow one man on mad jaunts across the planet. Wherever your guidebook is, though, you must have lost it long ago, because you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, and worst of all, it’s starting to show.

You never should have gotten into this position in the first place. That isn’t to say that you hate it, far from it; dating Carlos Sainz is the best thing that ever happened to you, making you the happiest wrong person at the right time to ever exist. In every other universe, he’s probably seeing models or actresses, but here, he has you, and you’re willing to fight off every multiversal version of you just to keep everything as it is right now.

Your butterfly effect was quite stunning, actually. You ended up getting tickets to a Grand Prix through last minute cancellations. They were great, came with paddock passes and all that, and while you were lingering through Ferrari hospitality, Carlos happened to drop by to visit a friend and he noticed you while you were in line to get some water. He’s got the confidence of, well, a world class athlete, an adrenaline junkie, a professional race car driver, and so he introduced himself.

Sometimes, it’s just as easy as that. A father’s cousin’s roommate buys two tickets to a Grand Prix, then a stranger’s roommate’s brother gets sick, and suddenly you’re touching down off a plane overseas and walking through the door of paddock hospitality. You wear red, and you are seen. Just like that.

It took one more weekend before either of you knew that you wanted what you had to last for good. He texted you, followed you on Instagram and blew his cover of seeming cool by accidentally liking a post of yours from six years ago. And, when he saw you again, he knew that he wanted the spark between you to be something more, something like a bonfire.

Coincidence may have supported you thus far, but you don’t trust it not to abandon you. At the end of the day, you are you, you are Y/N L/N, and you are so far removed from Carlos’ world that it stuns you to think that you were even in his orbit so long as to meet him. If there are powers that be somewhere in the universe, they’re either playing a cruel joke or messing around to give you a helping hand. 

Hopefully, it’ll be the latter, but truly who knows at this point. As if it wasn’t surreal enough to introduce Carlos to your friends and family as Carlos Sainz, Formula One driver. As if it doesn’t blow your minds that people have started making Instagram accounts just dedicated to posting photos of you and your boyfriend whenever you’re seen out together.

The problem lies in the insanity of it all. You are not from this sort of life, you weren’t born into a silver spoon dynasty and you barely know how to interact with any of them now. You get along with the other WAGs as best you can; Heidi’s lovely, sure, and you were friendly with Charlotte until she disappeared, but sometimes it feels like it’s just you and your boyfriend against the world. Of any ally to pick, Carlos would be your top choice each and every time, but still. The fact remains that he will go out and race and leave you to your own devices, and you lack the extroverted impulses to social climb with everyone else.

This, then, is the main concern. You can pick out whatever designer clothes you want, goodness knows Carlos has offered to buy you anything already, and you can get your nails and hair done before each and every race, but that doesn’t change the fact that you, at your core, are never going to enjoy the paparazzi circus whenever you have to brave it.

It’s just not your scene, that’s all. You’re on the quieter side, happy to spend time with a few key friends but increasingly nervous in large crowds. Formula One is all large crowds, as you’ve discovered; thousands of fans, hundreds of engineers and team members, plus drivers and girlfriends and best friends. So many eyes, all on you. So many voices all shouting over each other.

You love Carlos, though, and you love him wholeheartedly, so you gather up your courage and go to race weekends when you can. Every time Carlos sees you in the crowd, he smiles so widely his friends tease him for weeks, and he runs to you first after every podium and strong finish. You want to be there for your boyfriend, truly you do, you just wonder if all of this should come easier to you than it does.

Also, you wonder if Carlos wishes the same thing. He has been nothing but perfect to you, so the spirals of guilt currently tangling their way through your insides are purely of your own creation, but what if he truly does think like that? Carlos must see the other WAGs, how they shine and sparkle with attention instead of feeling the urge to run. Wouldn’t he want that? Wouldn’t he get frustrated that you can’t be like the rest?

Thousands of girls in the world, and he picks you. You don’t know if it’s sweet or genuinely frightening. He wanted you out of everyone, yes, but he could replace you in a snap, swapping you out like some useless part on his car. There is nothing about you that cannot be replicated in any other girl. Even Charles did it, in a way, got himself a new girlfriend that’s a dead ringer for Charlotte. Carlos has no reason to keep you except for something he knows and you don’t.

The guessing will drive you mad, maybe, but you’ll lose your sanity long before that just trying to keep up with everything in his fast-paced life. You’ve been to prior F1 races, obviously, it’s how you met Carlos in the first place and it’s also how you kept him, but this upcoming weekend is different, this is Barcelona. Carlos is the center of attention at his home race, and every step he takes, a new storm of people is flooding in to ask him for autographs, selfies, anything to remind them that he’s real and right before their eyes.

Carlos doesn’t ask for a whole lot, and he certainly didn’t force you to come to this race, but you saw the hope in his dark eyes when he brought it up oh-so-casually at a dinner last week. You had assured him that you would go there to cheer him on along with the rest of his home crowd, and Carlos had been delighted for the rest of the evening.

You are happy to go, truly, but it’s taking everything in you to keep your smile up in front of the reporters and crowds and fans, and it’s just the first day. All you’re handling right now is qualifying, not even the actual race. In the back of your mind, a voice whispers that it’s only going to get worse from here on out, but when Carlos looks back at you as you wind through the paddock, you just smile and tell him you’re glad to be there with him. You’re here for him, after all, and Carlos is busy enough with race stuff that he won’t want to hear your complaints.

That’s what you keep repeating to yourself throughout the entirety of that day. Carlos qualifies well and is properly pleased about it, as he should be. The possibility of a podium or perhaps even a win for his home race has been one of his top goals for the season, and he’s as close as he can get to it right now. He earnestly talks about it the whole drive back to your hotel, but once you’re back in the safety and peace of the room, the conversation abruptly switches back to you.

Carlos sheds his jacket at the door, watches you flop down onto the bed with a smile on his face, then asks you pointedly, “And how are you doing, amor?”

You smile back at him, the expression trained to perfection after being tested so many times today. “Great! Glad that everything’s going so well for you. I’ll be cheering for P1 tomorrow.”

In truth, you’re tired more than anything. People kept coming up to you all day, assuming that taking a selfie with Carlos’ girlfriend was at least half as good as getting to see him. They gave you all manner of gifts and things to give to him, extracting promises that you’d tell him dozens of different people wished him well. You knew you’d get a lot more attention when you started dating Carlos, but the lack of personal space and privacy at the races is truly unlike anything you’d experienced before.

Carlos has been dating you long enough to pick up on this, apparently, because he furrows his brow and sits down on the edge of the bed next to you. “I’ll be glad to see you tomorrow, but do you want to tell me what is really on your mind? Don’t try to tell me otherwise. I know you, no?”

You sigh, covering your face with one of your arms. Carlos deflects from this attempt to hide by gently pulling your arm away, pressing a kiss to your forehead to make up for it. “Talk to me, cariño.”

You look sorrowfully at him, but when it becomes clear that Carlos won’t let you go until you confess, you give in. “It’s just a lot, I guess. The people and the cameras and everything.”

Carlos frowns. “I can get them to go away, you know that. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You look away. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to hear it. All of the other girlfriends have no problem with it, just me. I thought you’d want me to be more outgoing, so I tried, I really did, it’s just hard for me, I don’t know why.”

When you dare to risk a glance up at Carlos, you’re surprised to notice that he looks genuinely hurt. “Sweetheart, you didn’t think that I would actually be unhappy about that? I just want you to be happy. Don’t think about me.”

You let out a low breath. “I know, it’s just– I want to be like the rest, really. I don’t want this to be a reason–”

You cut yourself off, distracted by Carlos’ hands still wrapped around yours. Carlos picks up on the obviously dropped subject, though, and looks at you with fresh concern. “You don’t want it to be a reason for what?”

“That you would break up with me,” you whisper.

That’s it, then. That’s the truth. If you can’t live with Carlos’ lifestyle, why wouldn’t he leave you for someone who could? It makes perfect sense to you, but judging by Carlos’ expression, that logic couldn’t be further from his mind.

“No, Y/N,” he says, “That’s not right at all. I don’t want to break up with you, like, ever. Not because of this. I don’t want someone else, I want you. I love you, querida. I love the girl who showed up out of nowhere and made me forget about every other woman in the world. I love the girl who shows up to my home race even though it stresses her out because she wants to be there for me. I love you, Y/N. No one else. Just you.”

And, well, in the face of such passionate declarations, who could stand firm in their own self-pity? Certainly not you. You smile and let him kiss you again and again until you can’t see straight, and after that it is better, it is all better. Hearing it straight from Carlos is better than trying to guess at it. It lets your worries finally sink off into nothingness. It’s just you and him, just what he wants. Just what you want.

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy

[kookyburrowing]

Different Languages AU Part 1: Wait, Fuck, They Don't Speak Basic?

First things first motherfuckers, let’s get one thing straight: Basic as a language does exist in this AU!  It’s just less common outside of the Core/Mid Rim.  SO.  What does that give us?  Well, it gives us way more interesting conflict, for one thing, and for another, so many languages.  Let’s get crackalackin! 

In the Outer Rim, Huttese is largely The Language To Speak.  If you don’t speak Huttese, you might as well just hurl yourself into the nearest bottomless pit now and save yourself the time and trouble.  Even in the Core and Mid Rim, Huttese is a very common language just because of how useful it is if you ever find yourself in the Outer Rim.  Most bounty hunters (i.e. Jango Fett, just for one completely random example) speak Huttese fluently, alongside their native languages.  Naturally, then, this is a language Anakin is very familiar with.  In fact, when he became a Jedi, it was the language he knew the best, and most people thought his speech was stilted in Basic because of this.  He spoke Basic maybe once every month on Tatooine—can you blame him?  

In the Mid Rim, each planet has their own language and conversations between diplomats are typically done as they are on Earth—via interpreters, to avoid any misunderstandings.  Padmé, for instance, does speak Basic, but that is the language she would use in the Senate, not on Naboo.  The same goes for Palpatine, but we’ll get to him in a minute, because he sucks and I want to not talk about him for as long as I feasibly can.  

The Core means Basic, Basic, Basic, because of just the sheer number of people making it necessary.  Coruscant is a weird case because of how communities develop there.  Since it’s kind of like a gigantic version of a modern city (I’ll use NYC as an example because I know it the best), it’s broken up into enclaves.  Cultures clump—it’s a thing.  Some neighborhoods in NYC are predominantly Jewish, some are predominantly Italian, the list goes on.  The same goes for Coruscant, although on a supersized scale.  There’s some areas where non-Mandalorians need not apply, some where everyone is a Twi’lek or Togruta, some where everyone is a Mirialan, et cetera.  Also, Coruscant dialects of certain languages are very much a thing.

Anyway.  Let’s talk Kamino, because that’s why I started this to begin with!  

Jango Fett is a Mandalorian.  He’s also a bounty hunter.  He’s from Concord Dawn and was a True Mandalorian.  Therefore we can guess he probably at the bare minimum speaks two dialects of Mando’a (Concord Dawn, True Mandalorian) Huttese, and has at least passing Basic.  He probably speaks more than that given how well-traveled he is, but those are the ones I can name for sure.  So Jango Fett, who speaks Mando’a and Huttese and Basic, encounters Count Dooku.  Count Dooku is from Serenno, but he was also a Jedi, so he probably speaks Serennese, Basic, Huttese, and a few more.  He may even speak Mando’a, but his dialects wouldn’t be likely to overlap with Jango’s.  Count Dooku tells Jango to go to Kamino and let them clone him in exchange for an exorbitant amount of money.  Jango does, because Jango is a thinking human being and thinking human beings under capitalism do not turn down exorbitant amounts of money in exchange for what amounts to (at most) being a three or four-time sperm donor.  

And on Kamino, our intrepid Mandalorian encounters something a bit weird.  The Kaminoans, being that they are an extremely isolated species and thus have absolutely no reason to have developed humanoid vocal chords, have to rely on droid translators.  Cool!  This means Jango can speak to them exclusively in his native language (Concord Dawn Mando’a), and they can speka to him exclusively in theirs, and everyone’s largely happy.  Jango negotiates the finer points of the contract, acquires an infant who he names Boba, and calls up some old friends (and acquaintances) to teach the clones to kick ass.  He informs them they don’t have to worry about speaking Basic, so they don’t bother speaking Basic.  

Thus, we have our setup.  The Kaminoans have no reason to make the clones speak Basic because literally none of these outsiders are bothering to inform that oh yeah there’s this whole common language thing going on, and said outsiders have no reason whatsoever to tell them because it would ultimately just be an inconvenience.  They’ve got a good thing going, and Jedi are required to speak more than one language anyway.  The clones can definitely find at least one in common!

So the clones learn to speak Mando’a, understand Kaminoan, and speak and/or understand one extra elective language.  Most pick something weird because they can—everyone around them speaks either Mando’a or Kaminoan so why would they bother with languages they don’t care about, like Basic?  Unfortunately for the Kaminoans and the trainers in equal measure, they do also realize that in order to express themselves in private they need their own universal language, so they acquire one.  They just call it clonespeak to keep things simple, and for most of them, that’s their native language.  They feel most comfortable speaking in it because that’s the language they associate with safety and with their siblings/parents.  

Thus: the predicament.  

Obi-Wan arrives on Kamino.  Obi-Wan is a Jedi.  Obi-Wan speaks Basic. 

Uh-oh.  See, Jango is out of practice—the Kaminoans can’t make those noises.  Boba’s language skills begin and end with Mando’a and some random bits of clonespeak right now—he’s kind of conversational with Huttese but every once in a while he just throws in a Mando’a word or an idiom in clonespeak and Jango has to take a minute to breathe lest he slam his head straight through the wall in frustration because he doesn’t understand clonespeak.  And so much performing of charades, many awkward moments, and exactly one sentence in Basic later, Obi-Wan is heading back to Coruscant with several questions. 

First: why the fuck did Sifo-Dyas order an army who didn’t speak Basic?  No one knows.  No one can find any records of this order, for one thing.  No one knows who Tyrannus is, for another.  

And second: what languages do the clones speak?  Obviously, Mando’a is amongst them, but Jango’s extremely intensely staring son also spoke another, infinitely weird language and no one can find any record of it, and not even Jango seemed to understand him.  Do they understand the Kaminoans’ clicking noises?  Are they just mute?  Is it constantly Shut The Fuck Up Friday up in there?  What is going on?  

The Council loses their collective minds.  Shaak Ti is about ready to haul ass across the galaxy to collect these poor, lost young men—Plo Koon is right there with her.  Yoda is—well, Yoda is swearing loudly in several dead languages right now.  Mace Windu, ever the voice of reason, just has one thing to say: how about they meet the clones, first.  Before they panic.

In the face of this intense, all-consuming, glorious sensibility, the Council collectively shuts the fuck up.  They decide to let things run their course.  

And then Geonosis.  Quickly, Yoda collects several hundred clones, manages to communicate to one of them—who speaks a really weird, ancient, and fucked up dialect of Basic that could basically scan to Elizabethan English, and whose name is probably Kowalski—what he needs, and that one tells an older, larger and more intimidating one.  Then that one yells a lot in a language Yoda has never heard before, and several hundred clones are suddenly hauling ass into gunships.  

Enter one Anakin Skywalker and one Padmé Amidala, who are about to acquire some friends, none of whom understand a word they’re saying.  They fuck some things up, get strapped to some poles to be devoured by Space Beasts of some sort, and then escape.  

Battle of Geonosis happens.  Mace Windu quickly discovers that the answer to the question what do the clones speak is effectively every language except Basic, and the answer is also supremely inconsistent.  He is Suffering.  He is Experiencing The Horrors.  Obi-Wan is likewise fighting for his life because he speaks a fancy-ass dialect of Mando’a that the clones don’t understand.  This is because they, like normal people, don’t talk like dignitaries on diplomatic missions.  

Moving on!  Obi-Wan gets assigned Alpha-17.  Alpha-17 is a demon.  Actually.  He probably speaks Basic but refuses to out of spite.  This is the biggest asshole to ever stomp his way into a Venator and terrify Anakin Skywalker into cowering submission.  (He may even be why Anakin behaved like that as Vader.  We will never know!)  Like most clones, Alpha-17 speaks four languages.  Clonespeak, Mando’a, Kaminoan, and Huttese.  In that order.  So he has no real trouble communicating with either Anakin or Obi-Wan.  

What he does have, though, is a surplus of kids.  Like it or not (he insists he doesn’t) they are his kids, and he wants them to have a shot at having a moderately tolerable existence.  Enter everyone’s favorite group of six weirdos: Wolffe, Ponds, Fox, Bly, Cody, and Rex.  

Wolffe is easy.  He’s horrible with languages, and so gets sent to Plo Koon, who speaks through a translator anyway.  Add Mando’a to the translator, and bang!  Easy.  Done.  They understand each other perfectly.  

Ponds is also easy.  He, being sensible, learned Basic, so he goes to Mace Windu, who is equally sensible (and grateful for the easy transition).  

Fox, who is a scheming little shit and also just so happens to speak Naboo, get sent to Coruscant.  The Chancellor can’t get one over on him if Fox can understand every word he says, and most Senators have protocol droids with them for translation anyway.  

Bly speaks Ryll, so she gets Aayla Secura.  Again, easy.  

Cody, on the other hand?  Cody speaks the same languages as 17.  Cody has a favorite younger brother who needs guidance.  Cody, therefore, gets deposited with Obi-Wan, and Rex?  Rex gets Anakin.  

But the issue with Rex is he and Anakin have no language in common.  Rex’s elective language was Togruti, and like the rest of his batch he also speaks Tusken sign.  Because his batch are a bunch of assholes who wanted an extremely private way to talk.  

So.  Anakin and Rex start off the war with no way to communicate!  None!  Literally not one language in common!  

And they do try to communicate—via charades, via text, et cetera—but they don’t really have access to translation software on a regular basis and thus things become complicated.  

Things are made even more complicated by the fact that Rex, like Wolffe, is shit at language learning.  Anakin, who isn’t, could try to learn clonespeak, and does!  But when you can’t communicate with the person teaching you it is immensely slow going.  

And thus, our premise is complete.  How do you run a war with someone you can’t talk to?  

Well, it depends.  If you’re Anakin, you say, maybe I can figure a way around this.  

If you’re Pong Krell?  

I dunno man.  Yell?  Yeah, that sounds about right. 

[goodoldfashionlovercorpse]

Casual (pt. 2)

pairing: Sirius Black x slytherin! potter! reader

summary: Y/n Potter has been in love with Sirius for as long as she's known him. During their 6th year at Hogwarts, they start hooking up. Sirius declares it casual, but are they both truly ok with this secret?

a/n: this is part two of my Sirius series! hope you enjoy. @hisparentsgallerryy and @planets-and-stars thanks for the support !!

warnings: angst, secret fwb situationship, jealousy, explicit language

Classes went on as normal: a few people passed while others clung for dear life. Unfortunately, Y/n shared a class with him, the one she fell for. She couldn’t pinpoint why she was glaring at him, maybe it was what Lucius had told her. All Sirius did was pretend she didn’t exist until the night. Somehow, he pays more attention to class when she’s in the room. James had sat next to her. She always felt guilty for hooking up with his best friend, he was such a good brother. Even when she was sorted, he bragged about his sister proudly, flaunting the fact she was the brains to his brawns. Sirius got paired with Snape, who was sending her glances that screamed “Help!” every time Sirius said something dumb. Gods, why did she stare at his lips? She always sent Snape a sorrowful expression, reassuring it’s just a partnership for the week. Potions had to be Snape’s and Sirius’s best class, so she didn’t worry that much.

“Ok, so, this week we’ll be brewing Amortentia. It’s powerful, so no one is allowed to drink any of it. Got that?” Slughorn asked, receiving hums from every student, “Right, now turn to page 201 and get started, you have all your ingredients set up. Have fun and remember, the first 3 groups to finish receive 5 house points each!”

As soon as Slughorn finished, James turned to the page. “Alright, I’ll dictate, you add. This should be finished by today, then ready by tomorrow.”

Y/n added the rose thorns, the pearl dust, and all the other ingredients, slowly stirring them. The twins looked at each other with puzzling gazes. “How is this gonna take people a week?”

“Maybe he wants it perfect?”

“Maybe.”

As the pair finished, Slughorn came behind them 20 minutes later. He congratulated the two and encouraged them to sniff. “What do you smell?”

James chimed up first, “Books, tea, that sweet scent of spring.” Ever the romantic, he described. From scents to scenarios, he gushed for 10 minutes as Lily stared at him, smiling. He played with his hands and then blushed once he was done. Turning to his sister, “And you, sis?”

Y/n went near and sniffed. She knew what she smelled, she knew who she smelled. But if Slytherins are taught one thing, it’s acting. “Some leather, a bit of peanut butter, and… dog?” She tried not to scrunch her nose, trying hard to come up with something, anything, to find someone else to match. Sirius was staring at her, his gaze locked on hers. “Maybe it’s Paul McCartney?” the crowd laughed. She stared at Sirius, no smile present on either faces.

Soon three more groups described their scents, the last one being Snape and Sirius. Snape described a simple smell, but she knew he smelled nothing, love just wasn’t his thing. Sirius, on the other hand, tried to finish it quickly. His hands were on his neck, resting on thin air as he bragged bout perfume and chocolate. The very things she liked. “I guess there’s the scent of a night out, doing makeup and dress-ups or whatnot,” he added, the corner of his eye directed at her. James was puzzled, staring Sirius down with pressed brows. She continued looking at Sirius’s table, seeing how Snape tried hiding under the table as girls came flocking towards their table. 

“That’s so romantic!”

“I need to buy more perfume…”

“Hey, Sirius, wanna go out?”

Before you knew it, they were being whisked off by Prof. Slughorn to go to their desks. As class ended, only four out of ten groups had finished, much to her surprise. She started packing up, getting ready for her next class. Snape came up to her as James went over to Sirius. “Can’t believe I got paired with him.”

She shrugged, “You’re both top students, it can’t have been that bad.”

“It is when you’re stared at by everyone  to smell something that’s not there.”

“Hey, everyone believed you.” she pats his back and smiles, gaining a half smile from Snape. The two went out of class, having no clue of Sirius staring at them, a layer of jealousy coated in his gaze. One that didn't go unnoticed by James. The Potter shoved his friend, mumbling something about ‘brotherly duties’. Perhaps tonight will be the night… then again, it was always casual.

Y/n and Snape went along with their classes, being joined by their other friends, but mainly just Lucius. Lucius was quite excited about the Ravenclaw party, and Snape planned on studying. Both gave her a glance, though. A sort of questioning look. “He’ll be there,” Lucius said.

She shrugged, looking down. It wouldn’t have made a difference, she would seen him tonight regardless of whether she attended, that’s how they worked. “I’ll probably go to help James and Lily.” she earned a shrug from Lucius, the other male yapping about homework and studies.

“We should start preparing for our test next week, though.”

“Relax, Sev, that’s days ahead.”

At least friendships weren’t casual, Y/n thought, laughing along with Lucius and hugging Snape. They departed at the common rooms, her having to go up. She smiled, maybe tonight will be about her.

[acti-veg]

hello, if you have time please could you respond to the Guardian article "If you want to save the world, veganism isn’t the answer"? thank you

Ahhh, her again. She does the same thing here as she always does, comparing realistic arable farming solutions to idealised animal agriculture which exists almost nowhere, and is how a vanishingly small minority of anyone’s meat, dairy and eggs are being produced.

She raises points that we are largely all already aware of, that crop farming can be harmful too, which of course also includes the crops that farmed animals are fed on. She touts the old fantasies of 'regenerative grazing' which is a contradiction in terms that has debunked many times over, perhaps most thoroughly in this report.

I think the best response though, is one from George Monbiot in his excellent book Regenesis: Feeding the World Without Devouring the Planet. Monbiot knows Isabella Tree personally, and has done the maths on her own farm:

"Only when livestock numbers fall so far that their husbandry scarcely qualifies as food production is animal farming compatible with a rich, functional ecosystem. For example, the Knepp Wildland project, run by my friends Isabella Tree and Charlie Burrell, where small herds of cattle and pigs roam freely across a large estate, is often cited as an example of how meat and wildlife and can be reconciled (..)"

"If their system were to be rolled out across 10 per cent of the UK’s farmland, and if, as it’s champions propose, we obtained our meat this way, it would furnish each of the people of the United Kingdom with 420 grams per head, enough for around three meals. This means a 99.5 per cent cut in our consumption (…) If all the farmland in the U.K. were managed this way, it would provide us with 75kcal per day (one thirteenth of our requirement) in the form of meat, and nothing else."

As you can see, this is pure fantasy. People point to examples like these despite them being almost unworkable at any kind of scale, and even in these idyllic, thoroughly unrealistic examples, animals are still being bred, exploited and killed unnecessarily.

Yes, plant agriculture has an impact too, but it is far more sustainable and less resource intensive, producing more food using less land. Even if you ignore animal rights entirely (as Tree always does), plant agriculture and alternative proteins are just objectively a better way to feed our population, which ever way you spin it.

[wearepurplejackets]

Little recap of episode 4 of season 4 of Wakfu

Look at this!!

You saw this beautiful smile???? This smile can stop babies from crying (and Nora). This smile can revive a puppy.

You saw it???

Well, I hope you did because I think we'll not see it in a really loooooooong time~ (maybe 9... Or 10 episodes.) The storm is coming... violently with a bat.

(BEHOLD SPOILERS OF EP 4 OF SEASON 4 OF WAKFU)

I remember Tot said season 4 was gonna be sad a f*ck and that Yugo will have to pass some kind of "hard trial" (AGAIN) in this season because this kid will never have a good rest. Not even a breath. Stop. Give this little boy some holidays c'mon, the lord is always testing our little angel to the limit. (And by lord I mean Ankama I'm looking at you...)

So it's very likely that Yugo will start to suffer even more in the next episode. And of course, in the entire season :))))))) Let this boy have something, someone precious by his side more than an instant and stop take it from him in the next second, I beg you. (He just found his family... And... Qilby I guess. And Adamai just abandoned him already to investigate by his own way...)

Just seeing how the kings and queens of every nation were so disrespectful in front of him and just called his mother a monster and made her cry, well. (I want to riot! When Joris said they were "quite tense" he fell short.)

Okay, yes, I understand the eyes in the sky~ are pretty creepy and of course I don't trust her either, at least, like this is so suspicious for sure, no one was born yesterday even when she is trying to be so kind and helpful monitoring the entire planet (yeessss mom, way too much).

But, c'mon, this is a goddess as tall as... I don't know, as much as she wants, girl she is made of f*cking magic. If she wanted she could erase you from existence. She didn't have to give a f*ck about anyone and HERE WE ARE~

The best thing you can do is looking for a fight with her in the moment you meet her with no hesitasion? Do you want to die that much? Do you know about survival? Did you skip that class maybe? (I'm going for a tea BECAUSE-)

It was so necessary to (be a little racist dear rich people and) insult the giant blue mother of your hero in his f*cking face and the people who are at least trying to do your job (which any of you losers did well, like ever, btw. When Sadida kingdom was about to be destroyed by the chaos of Ogrest what did you do?? Eh, where were you???)

Jobs like protecting and saving your citizens from, nothing, being robbed and I don't know: imminent death??? I mean, really? Was that all you thought about in this situation? Being a d*ck was your best choice.

These same guys here were talking about stolen freedom?? What freedom? The brotherhood of Tofu had to save your asses for like 3 season. 3 ovas and dozens of comics. The same people who criticize others actions but never assist and reunite when they are needed, Cause I don't know Rick, it seems a little fake....

Yugo just met his mom and his sis and he already has the world of 12 hating them... Like wow, the rulers are all going to die in the hands of that kind of white demon/zombies of TLOU/soul suckers or whatever they are. And I really don't give a f*ck for any of them, ladies and gentlemen. Only the crowns are going to remain. (Down with the monarchy.)

Weeeeeeeell.

You know what? I don't care what Yugo will do from this point. Nop, not a bit. But I'm with him to the end of everything. I will support you honey, I will defend you no matter what. I mean, I'll be totally okay if he decides to save the world for the third f*cking time and I also will be okay if in the end he prefers to let all these motherf*ckers die in an instant with no mercy and no regre-

And it could even happen that Yugo loses someone important in season 4... (The same way I will lose my mind.) Hope that never happens, I just swear to god-

Anyway, Yugo fans, unite and brace yourselves.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello, A request of TF RID 2015 or Rescue Bots,

I kinda had this thought in this, Bot Buddy who's an very old Dinobot (and has an alt mode like a Plesiosaur or aquatic dino)

Bot has been on earth and probably been raised by Earth inhibitants ever since (probably in Dino era?), they didn't know anything about cybertron and still loves/cares, including having knowledge/intellect about Earth, including the changes, wars, etc.

Bot known as a gentle giant, has grandmother vibes, yet curious and somewhat child-like personality and dislike violence of any sort yet can be passive-aggressive and sometimes protective/aggressive for their friends/family

Bot always on her Dino mode (they don't know they can transform or not?). They kinda famous(?) to inhibitants, human (and creatures), on earth that they know about Bot's existence

How would the Autobots react/interact with this Buddy the Old Dinobot.

New Buddy!

Hope you enjoy!

Old Dinobot Buddy

SFW, Platonic, Cybertronian reader

RB

Buddy didn’t remember much about her life before arriving to Earth.

She did remember the war, but the details were blurry.

Did she even have a mission on this planet or was the crash an accident?

It seemed like millennia ago (probably was).

She had grown used to the organic life on this new planet, even adopting an alt mode after one of the first families she had.

They were long gone as were many of their other friends, but she did grow fond of the humans that resided on the island.

Curious little things.

A couple of years ago a couple of them had spotted her sunbathing and became some sort of urban legend.

Being a legend sounded fun and decided to keep the gag running.

Life was relatively peaceful on Griffin Rock.

She’d be lying if she said that she didn’t have favorites.

It was a family of humans.

The Burns

She was particularly fond of the youngest one, Cody.

On the rare occasion that she did leave her lagoon, she often visited the Burns home.

Buddy watching from the wooded area at the family playing basketball. Cody was nearing the basket. Buddy: “Yes, yes, yes, ye—” Kade comes out and snatches the ball from the smaller boys’ hands and dunks the ball himself. The ball also bounces off the boy’s head. Kade: “Who’s the champ? I’M THE CHAM—” BONK! Kade rubbed the back of his head seeing a large branch on the ground. The family was snickering. Kade waving the stick angerly. Kade: “Who threw that?!” Dani: “Maybe that was Karma Kade.” Kade: “I don’t believe in—” BONK! Kade: “WHO KEEPS DOING THAT?!” Buddy with a small pile of branches by her side. Buddy: “That one was for Cody.” She picks up another branch ready to launch it: “And this one is for trying to give Graham that swirly.”

Buddy wasn’t aware of the Rescue bots until she saw them in the backyard during one of her walks.

She recognized the Autobot insignia from a mile away.

Buddy now has an optic out for the bots, wondering why they were doing on Earth.

What were they doing here?

Buddy did see the bots helping the community and even bond with the Burns, which puts her at ease.

Their meeting happened under… less than optimal circumstances.

Cody and Frankie walking on the old bridge leading to the lagoon. The bots were watching vigilantly from the side. Cody wincing at the creaking noise: “This paper better be worth it. The bridge looks like its going to break with a sneeze.” Frankie was trying to get a sample of the water in a mason jar: “Just you wait Cody! Our presentation is going to get us the best grades!” CRRREEAAAAKKKK! Blades: “Okay guys! Off the bridge!” The pair tried walking back but froze hearing the bridge snapping. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! The bridge was starting to break. Now all the bots were on the opposite side of the bridge. Heatwave: “Don’t move! We’ll find a different way to—” CRASH! As if made of tissue paper, the old wood underneath the kids suddenly gave out plunging them into the mossy green water. Rescue bots: “CODY! FRANKIE!” Heatwave was about to dive in after them when the kids’ heads broke the surface… as well as a pair of large metal servos. The large bot raised the humans above the water before getting on land themselves. Buddy: “Cody Burns. Francine Greene. Are you both all right?” The soaked and algae covered kids looked at the new bot with wide eyes. Boulder: “I guess this was the Monster of the Green Lagoon everyone was talking about.” Chase: “Indeed.” Heatwave getting close to the bot. Heatwave: “Put them down!” Blade: “Gently!” The bot laughed. Buddy: “At ease Heatwave.” She gently places the kids in his servos before wiping some of the algae off her Autobot insignia. The bots visibly relax. Heatwave passes the kids to Chase, who has the blankets ready. Cody: “Thanks for saving us…” Buddy: “My designation is Buddy, and it is a pleasure to finally introduce myself to you and Francine.” Frankie: “Frankie, so you’re really the legend? Daddy said you lived in that pond ever since the Founding of Griffin Rock.” Buddy: “Oh no, I’ve been here longer than that.” Boulder: “How long have you been here?” Buddy: “Hold on.” She reenters the water and transforms into her Plesiosaurus alt mode. Buddy: “Since they gave me a home on Earth.” Cody and Frankie’s eyes went wide. Cody: “You were around since the dinosaurs!?” Frankie: “That’s so cool!” Chase: “Pardon the interruption, but if I recall correctly, you said ‘finally introduce’ yourself. How did you know of the Burn’s and Greene family as well as our designation?” Buddy: “Chase, I have been on this island for a long time. I know the best hiding places to observe the humans.” Buddy winks at Cody: “I believe Kade was wondering if those gremlins were throwing those branches after the game.” Cody smiled: “That was you?!”

[justawritterwithideas]

Boy Wonder and the Rockstar | s.r

✩ previous part | next part ✩

summary: Things start to get a little tense when Y/N and Spencer have to come face to face to find the person who wants to hurt her, but a clue leads to the total breakdown of everything.

general warnings: this series contains topics such as mentions of death, alcohol, drugs, strong vocabulary, as well as talk of heartbreak, disappointment and arguments. It also contains content regarding CM season 13, so it clearly contains spoilers.

chapter warnings: this chapter contains strong language, confrontations, mentions of murder, among other similar things. this is a spencer reid x famous!reader story.

words: 4,380 words.

a/n: hi guys, after days there's finally a new chapter of boy wonder and the rockstar, yay. sorry for the delay but it's been weeks without creativity, but finally i can upload a decent chapter. sorry if it's a bit (too) dramatic, but put yourselves in y/n's shoes, ok? this chapter has strong confrontations and a little bit of plot change, but don't worry, in the next chapter everything will calm down, trust me. thanks in advance for the love and also for the support for the previous chapters, see ya!

𝟎.𝟑: 𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐃𝐫. 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧.

Sometimes, our mind plays tricks on us, like remembering those embarrassing moments in life, but not remembering the formula to do an equation; remembering what that person told you and that marked you forever, but not remembering what your mother asked you to do.

Sometimes, also, destiny plays tricks on us.

Those times when you ask, please, that the earth swallow you up and spit you out anywhere else but there, that it take you to the deepest part of the planet and disappear until everyone forgets you exist.

I think that concept was the exact way to describe what Y/N and Spencer were experiencing after coming face to face, after 15 years.

On the one hand, the astonishment of the girl's friends and on the other, the confusion of the boy's friends.

Face to face, facing the reunion and the various emotions they experienced from head to toe.

"Reid, do you two know each other?" Emily's voice made them both turn in her direction, but Spencer without even being able to bring himself to answer, the words were snatched from his mouth and taken up by the opposite.

"It's not something I'm interested in being honest, but us knowing each other doesn't affect the investigation, does it?"

Bang, first bullet.

"No, it doesn't affect."

Spencer glanced in the blonde's direction, crossing glances again for the second time that day.

That warm look she always gave him when they met had become the iciest anyone had ever given him.

Bang, second bullet.

"Miss Autumn... Or Y/N?"

"I'm both, I don't mind being called one way or the other." The girl looked in the direction of the group of people, who were watching her trying to decipher where she and the tall one knew each other from. To divert attention, she changed the subject. "Please sit down, I feel a little embarrassed that you are up and we are sitting down." Commented the girl.

The group of people settled around the four individuals seated on the large couch.

But Spencer's eyes did not move from the girl, who stirred uneasily in her seat.

Y/N was more nervous about the presence of the man she hadn't seen in years than about what had just happened a couple of hours ago.

Her hands were shaking, her heart was pounding in the bottom of her chest, she was out of breath and her mouth felt dry, as if she had run a marathon.

She knew that at some point she would meet that boy, the thing is she didn't think it would be so soon. The situation they were in wasn't the best, and even less so with the context behind it, but clearly fate didn't care what was happening and made them meet despite Y/N's prayers not to meet the one-who-must-not-be-named again.

Spencer looked more mature, even though he was always mature for his age. She remembered that he used to do the fee slip for some older friends that Y/N used to have, plus he knew how to think maturely regarding his decisions; not like her, who chose her hair color based on which box of dye was cheapest in the market, but Spencer always said she looked good in any color.

"Miss Y/N." The woman's lost gaze went in the direction of the blonde girl speaking to her, blinking quickly to focus.

"Yes? Sorry, I was just thinking..." Her gaze went from side to side, noting that they were expectant of her answer. "Excuse me, what was the question?"

A sigh came out of Tyler's mouth, who was leaning against the back of the couch. One thing the guitarist hated was the police, more so the feds so, them being there was not at all to his liking.

"I was asking what you did prior to you getting the box."

"Oh yeah, well we were coming from a sound check of the venue where we would be performing. We did that and then we would go to lunch, but before that we were going to stop by the hotel for a change of clothes. I walked into the front desk and was talking to Felix, but before I got on the elevator the receptionist told me that a package had arrived in my name." The girl let out a soft sigh, refocusing on her story. "I wasn't surprised that a package would suddenly arrive, usually information about where you are and who you're with usually travels faster than light, plus it's not the first time it's happened to me."

"What do you mean it's not the 'first time it's happened to you'?" J.J. asked again.

"Well, usually brands contact the band's marketing people days in advance to find out where we are to send packages, to use at concerts or interviews as part of the publicity. It's not the first time a brand has sent a package to a hotel for us to receive." Suddenly, Y/N's face became a bit of an enigma to people. "Even though I was surprised that it was addressed to me, usually they tend to address it to Gerald because he is the manager, they don't usually expose our personal information because of possible leaks."

"That's true, they always send packages in my name by protocol, it's part of the contract that is signed with the brand at the time of sending it." Gerald stated.

"So them sending packages in your name is not a normal thing, is it?" asked Emily.

"That's right, there are usually packages that come with letters inside that indicate who they are addressed to, you know... 'Dear Autumn or Dear Paradox'." Spencer's gaze went in the direction of the pictures in the package and then to the girl in front of him, who looked distracted at the rings on her fingers.

None looked like a wedding or engagement ring, Spencer thought.

Even though that thought quickly faded, it was unprofessional to think about it when a madman was after her and sending her ghoulish gifts.

"So the person thinks they're close to you, or they're a person from the past who was close to you." Commented Tara, who simply kept leaning against a wall.

"It's kind of hard, a lot of the people who were close to me suddenly cut off contact or are stuck with me, like this group." A fake laugh escaped Y/N's lips, glancing in the direction of Reid, who was lowering his gaze.

Bang, final punchline.

"Thank you, miss. We know it's important information you've just given us, but we'll still have to conduct an interrogation with all of you separately." Before anyone could protest, Emily continued. "This way we can rule them out as suspects, we know they wouldn't hurt Y/N, but this way we can start working quickly and efficiently to find the culprit, before it gets any bigger."

"What do you mean by 'bigger'?"

Y/N looked in the direction of the woman in the suit, who simply let out a sigh.

"That it might come to hurt someone in your circle or... you."

All the air in Y/N's throat shot out, feeling her insides stir at what the woman had just said.

They could hurt her friends just by being friends with her, the only family she had left just by being close to her.

"Thank you agents." Gerald stood up as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he had to warn the management straight about the risk of the tour at this point.

This was a disaster, a complete disaster.

It had been a couple of hours since the agents had set up at the hotel.

Since that couple of hours, Spencer had not been able to cross a single word with Y/N.

It wasn't because they wouldn't let him, on the contrary, he'd had plenty of opportunities to do so.

But the words in his throat wouldn't come out, it was as if they were trapped and his brain wasn't working at all.

"How do you know Autumn, Boy wonder?"

Penelope's voice snapped Spencer out of his chimera.

"What are you talking about, Garcia?"

"Don't try to fool me, it's clear you two go way back. You knew who she was with just a glance and she confirmed it, even though you'd never seen who it was. You didn't even react when we saw her pictures at Quantico, you didn't seem to know who she was until she spoke here, so tell me now, how do you know her?"

The woman's hands went to her hips, implementing pressure to get Spencer to talk about what was going on.

Y/N and Spencer were a couple of feet away, but they seemed like they were miles apart.

"It's a long story." Spencer began.

"If you don't tell me, I'll investigate under my own steam and believe me now that Hotch is gone, I'm not going to stop."

"Well, Y/N and I have known each other since college. We were friends for a long time, exactly three years..." A long sigh took hold of Reid, who felt all the memories together fall like an avalanche of sensations and emotions, just like how it was when he was in college. "I think he was one of the few people who put up with me during this time and who supported me the most. But when I was accepted to the academy I promised not to cut off contact with her when I moved to Virginia..."

"So what happened, why did it seem like running into you is the most horrendous thing that ever happened to her, even though she got a human finger this morning?" Penelope's own questions were answered as she looked at Spencer's embarrassed face. "Don't tell me that... Oh no, Spencer."

"I stopped responding to her letters within a month of arriving in Virginia, cut off all contact with her."

It seemed that admitting it made the pain stronger and stronger, like a stake through his stomach and his whole body.

"Why, Spence, why did you do that?"

"Well, the truth is-"

"Guys, there's security camera footage. Penelope we need you."

They both looked at each other before they could make their way to where everyone was.

They were all standing around the computer, where it was clear on the monitor screen as someone dressed as a courier dropped off the box, then handed a receipt to the receptionist and quickly left. Fast forwarding the recording, the moment where the band enters and the package is handed over can be seen.

"Well, the girl gets the package and then asks a question." Luke spoke aloud.

"She probably asks who sent it or who delivered it, to make sure it's for her." J.J. replied back.

"And then she goes to the elevator, the doors close and then..." The recording switches to the one in the hallway where the group is seen exiting the elevator heading to one of the hotel's private rooms. The new image is seen in the boardroom, where everyone is seen sitting around chatting and the woman opening the box.

The scene seemed orchestrated for a key scene in a horror movie: the girl screaming, holding her hands to her mouth and the others seeing the inside of the box, Felix trying to calm Y/N down, Tyler running out of the room, Gerald calling mortified to what appeared to be the police and Shawn calling on the phone in the room to what would be reception. In a quick lapse, the amount of people running in and out of the room is seen, leading people outside to leave the scene as close to what had just happened and soon stops when the police arrive, who do the procedure when faced with such situations.

"The group enters the room, Y/N opens the box, yells and soon everyone takes different stances with what they just saw, but no one touches the box except for Y/N..." Rossi watches Penelope replay the recording from the beginning, from receiving the package.

"I think it's common sense seeing that, I wouldn't touch a box with a human finger too." Garcia replied to Rossi.

Spencer watched everything in extreme detail, trying to figure out what he was missing. There was something that didn't add up to him, as if it was all set up to happen that way.

"Doesn't it look to you like everything was perfectly organized?" Spencer's voice made everyone turn to him. "Like everything all of a sudden was made to run like that, like that person wanted us to see what happened, every single thing that happened while we got there."

Every single movement of the band was on camera, from their departure from the hotel in the morning to their arrival at lunchtime; from when, Y/N, they received the package to when they opened it, what everyone in the band was doing at the time of the event and even after the event, every single movement was monitored by the cameras, every single one of them.

"It's as if that person knew their routine to the letter, every single schedule and activity..." At the time, all BAU members had one person in mind, the only person who could know every detail about them was the one who lived 24/7 with them.

"Thanks, big G." Y/N received the coffee between her hands, drinking it from the makeshift interrogation room. The five of them were looking at each other, trying to understand what they were doing there and how they had gotten there.

"I don't understand why they have us here, we haven't done anything. We've already told our story a bunch of times and to different people, what the fuck are they waiting for to free us? A divine miracle? For this crazy guy to come and turn himself in?" Tyler was the most dismayed at that moment, at any moment he was going to explode against anyone who stood in front of him.

"Stop it, Tyler. We're not getting anything out of your shitty attitude, they're shuffling through every possibility to rule us out of being a crazed psychopath out to hurt Y/N." Shawn gently patted Tyler to try to calm him down, but it seemed to have made him more prone to explode. "The more we help on this, the faster we can get out here and have a good nap."

"Shawn's right, guys. Let's try to make it easier for the agents to investigate, so we can get on with the tour as soon as possible." Gerald finished with his pack of gummies, tossing the wrapper in the trash.

"What did the bosses say regarding this?" Y/N's words made Gerald let out a sigh, sitting back in the chair where he was.

"As long as this won't calm down and that none of us were in danger, the tour will have to be paused or at worst, cancelled."

A wave of protests came out of the band's mouths, causing Gerald to have to pound the table to calm them down.

"Cancel it, G? We haven't been on stage for two years and to suddenly cancel it, our sales will go down." Tyler vociferated, rising from his seat.

"What's going to happen to the fans? We're going to disappoint them if we cancel it just like that, they've waited for four years for new music and two for a tour, are they going to keep us on indefinite hiatus again? You know how long we've waited for a tour, they know the level of fans we manage worldwide." Y/N was next to rant, bringing one of her hands to her hair to comb it.

"Can't you tell your fed friend to help us hurry this up?"

A current of electricity coursed through every part of Y/N's anatomy, who turned to look at Tyler for his words.

"No."

Y/N's words were harsher than breaking a diamond in two, causing the guitarist to raise his hands in a symbol of peace.

"Let's try to stay calm, guys. Let's not lose our peace, this will work out, I read that the BAU is one of the most prestigious groups in the FBI, they'll be able to solve this problem before this goes any bigger." Felix turned in Y/N's direction, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and invited her to sit next to him.

The silence and calm didn't last long as Spencer and Emily entered the room, along with two police officers.

"Officers, are you bringing news?" Shawn asked, before he could watch as the officers approached Gerald's chair.

"Mr. Gerald Murphy, you are under arrest for being the prime suspect in the crime committed-" Emily's voice made all four of them stand up from where they were.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Felix was the first to react, trying to stop them from slapping handcuffs on the oldest of them all.

"What are you talking about, he didn't do anything! Gerald!" Y/N's loud voice made Emily's voice sound in the background, which recited the rights he had and escorted him out of the room. "Gerald! Please!"

"Hey! You sons of bitches, he had nothing to do with it!" Tyler went after them, along with Shawn who had him by the hip so he wouldn't throw himself at them.

"Shawn, call corporate! This is a misunderstanding, calm down." Slowly, Gerald's voice became more and more distant.

"Gerald! Please, he didn't do anything!" Y/N was more agile than the officers, so she quickly wriggled out of their grip.

She still didn't get very far when familiar hands held her back from going outside, where a group of paparazzi were waiting for some action for the morning news.

"'Stop it, Y/N... Enough fighting." Spencer's voice made her fidget, trying to get out of his grip, but starting to tire after a few struggles.

"Let go of me, Reid. Stay out of it, he didn't do anything." The girl's slender hands went to the chestnut's wrists, making them downward to signal him to let go.

When the boy released her, it made Y/N turn in his direction.

She was angry.

No.

She was furious, her face was red with rage and her voice was shaking.

"What's the matter with you people!? You just took away an innocent person."

"The evidence places you as the possible perpetrator, Y/N." Spencer was trying to sound calm, occupying his most professional voice in front of the girl.

"What the fuck are you talking about! He was with us when I got the package! And the last two months since he started the tour! We would have noticed if it had been him." Y/N's hand movements indicated desperation and exaltation, Spencer could tell with her body language.

"Have you been with him in the moments he's been missing to do unofficial things? Or in the spare moments between rehearsals?"

Y/N's voice was replaced by silence, leaving the most obvious answer in evidence.

"That person can be dangerous, Y/N."

"Then why didn't he ever do anything to me? Why didn't he ever do anything to us?" Y/N folded her arms, still wearing that annoyed expression on her face.

"Because I use decoys to take out his anger."

"What do you mean, a-are there more people besides Bruno?" Her voice trembled at the recent news, bringing her hands to her face as she realized Spencer's facial expression hadn't changed at all at the bad news.

"At least eleven cases have been linked, Y/N."

There's that scary expression again, Spencer thought.

Y/N had to brace herself against a wall to keep from losing her balance, feeling a sensation rise from the pit of her stomach to her throat.

Even though he was aware of what was happening, there was one thing that was clear to him.

"Gerald wasn't, Spencer. I can bet my voice on it, he's innocent."

"Y/N, the evidence-"

"Fuck the evidence, Spencer! He didn't do it! He wouldn't be able to! He bet his whole career on a broke shitty band, he bet his life on us." Small salty tears began to fall down the cheeks of the girl, who faced the young man. "Someone who bet his life, his career, his fate on a band with no future couldn't do that."

"Y/N..."

"No, Spencer! He wasn't, that's my final word." The petite girl's small body walked past the taller one, bumping her shoulder against the other's arm as she left the scene.

"Please, Y/N, listen to me."

Despite Reid's long legs, he wasn't able to catch up to the young blonde who was disappearing inside the elevator.

Everyone's attention was around the heated exchange of words between the two, it was impossible to let go of the situation they had just witnessed and even more so with the end of it.

The man leaned against a wall, letting out a heavy sigh before he could turn around inside the room where his companions were.

"Spence, everything okay?" J.J approached his best friend, who looked somewhat upset from what had just happened.

"Everything's fine, J.J. She was upset about the situation that just happened." He commented giving a long sigh, looking in the direction of the elevator door where the girl had just disappeared. "It's all right, okay?"

A new silence surrounded them with the people in the place, watching each other's faces for the next move they were going to make. Spencer was touchy, everyone knew the singer was detonating something even they didn't know if they could handle, a side of Spencer they had never seen.

"Excuse me, Dr. Reid?"

The brown-haired man's gaze went in the direction of the door, where the boy they identified as Shawn was standing.

"Can we talk?"

The cigarette between Y/N's fingers was burning away as time went by. The icy wind on the terrace gave her goose bumps, but she tried to forget the event that had just happened.

They had arrested her only remaining family, accusing him of being the person who might be sending her those horrible obsessive messages and also accusing him of possibly hurting her.

Along with this, she had just run into the person she thought she had forgotten after 15 years and would now have to be with him behind 24/7.

Footsteps sounded behind her, causing her to let out a whimper and, without looking back, she blurted out.

"Felix, please. I want to be alone, what part of that don't you understand?"

The smoke in her lungs choked when she heard the answer.

"I don't think it's a good idea to be alone on a rooftop, Y/N."

The girl's body turned, watching the tall man behind her. He had his hands in his pockets and had that look on his face that made her get on her knees.

"Least I want to see you, Reid. It's already too much to share with you for the last few hours." She commented sullenly, taking one last puff on her cigarette and flicked it to the ground, stomping on it with the toe of her boot.

The contrarian's arms crossed her chest, starting to walk in the direction of the door that divided them from the elevator and the terrace.

"Y/N, listen to me." Spencer's hand caught one of the girl's arms, causing her to turn sharply to push him away.

"I have nothing to hear from you, Spencer. Unless it's to get Gerald released."

"Gerald may be the person who wants to hurt you, Y/N. I'm doing this to protect you."

"Protect me or make a wash of your image?"

"You know better than that, I would never do anything like that."

"How can I believe you? Liars don't change, Spencer. Do me a favor and let me go."

Y/N's attempt to flee had been interrupted, again, by the older man who wouldn't let go of her arm.

"Please, you have to listen to me."

"No Spencer. It's been long enough that we could talk, and now I have to listen to you because you want me to? What's happen with me, I have to ignore the fact that you didn't contact me for 15 years and now I have to act like we're lifelong friends? No Spencer, it won't happen."

"Y/N, this goes beyond that, it's import-"

"Important? This is more important than you erasing the idea that I ever existed? That we ever had such a strong friendship? That I supported you in every way you could think of, what about me, Spencer? Do I also have to forget all the damage you did to me when you disappeared? It's not fair." Y/N's cheeks burned, all the pent up anger she was going to take out on him. "It was always 'Spencer this, Spencer that' you, you and you. For once, in your life, stop thinking about yourself and think about me, for once in your fucking life!"

"Things aren't the way you think, stop imagining things that aren't."

"Then how were they? Explain to me how things were. Go ahead."

The atmosphere between the two was so tense that they could cut it with a knife, as if suddenly all time stopped for both of them.

Spencer had a chance to redeem his mistake, to prove that the reason things were done this way was not because of his own arrogance, but to protect her. To prove the point of his absence for so long, of cutting off contact so suddenly, that he had done things right and always, always, thinking of her.

But he didn't.

"It's not the place and time to do it, Y/N."

Spencer could see the hint of illusion Y/N had in her eyes fade, as her pupils went completely black and on her face neutrality returned.

"Right, because for you it's never the place and time to do it, Spencer." Before she could turn around, she came back to face him one last time. "The day you have enough pants to face the problem, that day talk to me but for now, don't you dare cross me unless it's to get Gerald back here."

For the second time that day, Spencer watched Y/N's blonde hair disappear behind the metal doors.

Just like the last scent of their past together.

@alexa-33 | @ahhhhyesk | @imthefuckingleader | @narmothewraith | @kneelforloki | @niyahwhoreworld | @lexie0037 | @deadunicorn159 | @corpsebridenightamare | @preciousbabypeter | @sakuramadae | @zzz000eee | @runefirestarter | @sebastiansstanswhore | @whateverrrrrrrrs | @xsarcasticwriterx | @chris-seb-marvel | @bellaramseygfsblog | @lillysbigwilly | @dezibou | @astrophileous | @ily2lia | @sophiario | @valenftcrush | @oxace-of-heartsxo | @spencerrxids | @w31rdg1rl | @ineedsomezzz | @yeehawbitchs | @coolstories66 | @baku-hoes-blog | @bollzinurmouth | @louderfortheback | @flowersownme | @venomsvl | @strawberry--fawn | @maereasblog | @stevenknightmarc | @imaginexred | @chargrilli | @emrys-m | @queenofthedreaming1 | @lostinheavensworld | @sugarbutterbailey | @kaicyl | @fudosl | @read4funz | @mrsgweasley | @lazybot | @myfatbottomedgirls | @adaydreamaway08 | @narmothewraith | @dianalafleur | @basicallynotbreathing | @mj0801 | @augustinesletters | @clockworkballerina | @maereasblog | @niyahwhoreworld | @yourfavunsub

If you like it, don't forget to like and repost it.

a lot of love, alme. ❀

[kellycataclysm]

How does harvey seduce lyra? What's his favourite way to bang her?

Okay so this was absolutely the most fun to write.

Here’s a little list of all the things he has in his repertoire, other than simply existing, with a few bonus head canons and thoughts thrown in. 

Setting the Scene. Lyra’s Harvey is romantic, polite, gentlemanly. The cliches work. He’d light candles, play soft music, bring her flowers, slow dance, watch the stars with her, open the door for her. Some may see this as old-fashioned, he just sees this as being sweet and attentive to the person he loves the most.

Words - Part One. Flirty banter. They’re smart dorks. The words are part of the attraction. Bonus points if there are bad jokes, puns, nerd chatter. 

Visual stimulus. Harvey will catch her eye with cliches that he knows work for her. The tie loosened, the rolled up shirt sleeves, a little peek of that chest hair, a spark in his eye from behind those glasses, and Lyra is FLUSTERED. Plus, he likes to look smart, even when he’s casual Harvey. So, if they’re out on a date you can be sure he’s looking smart and that moustache will be perfect.

Eye contact. The way he looks at her, like he’s still trying to figure her out but, goodness me, if he wasn’t entirely smitten from the second she walked into the clinic and awkwardly asked him for a neighbourly coffee. Plus, you can be sure he's going to do the finger hook under the chin for this, which leads to...

Physical touch - Part One. Harvey is all about the gentle caresses; he’ll hold her hand intertwining their fingers, touch her waist or the small of her back, brush her hair behind her ear, his fingertip lingering on those star earrings Lyra wears. The man is straight up handsy, especially first thing in the morning when they have just woken up.

Words - Part Two. Harvey has no problem telling Lyra that he loves her and saying things he knows will make her melt. We also know that she loves his voice. Deep, calm, firm but gentle. He’s well-spoken and to be honest, she’d listen to him read the phone book. 

Physical presence. Our man is tall in a way that makes her giggle and twirl her hair and he will use this to his advantage. He is 6'4. She is 5'3.

Slow. Sure, he’s ready to rock and roll with little more than a suggestive look from Lyra, because when he knows that she wants him, that definitely gets him going. However, Harvey loves to take his sweet time, setting the mood, making her feel like she is the only person on the planet for him, completely worshipping her. Then let’s also acknowledge that once he gets started, he is a massive tease. Yes, there are plenty of moments in which my spicy dorks are positively desperate for each other, but he loves to hear her begging for him.

Control. He’s bossy in the bedroom and she gets the full benefit of this. Making her feel good does it for him.

Physical touch - Part Two. Harvey really does have lovely hands and he knows exactly how to use them. You can guarantee she is getting off more than once. Don't look at me. I don't make the rules.

Words - Part Three. He loves to whisper things in her ear. Our girl has a HUGE praise kink and he knows this. He also loves to talk dirty to her. If the man drops an F Bomb in the heat of the moment, she will straight up dissolve. Readers may also have noticed that he only ever calls her Lyra when they are in adult situations. It is like she is in trouble. The best kind of trouble. 

By this point, Lyra is a mess and absolute putty in his hands. He can do absolutely anything he wants to her and whatever he chooses will make her feel incredible.

(Okay, did someone say soft dom Harvey?)

So, his favourite position. Lyra’s Harvey isn’t afraid to be a little adventurous. There was the time with the mirror. The video call when he was away. The time in the woods. The other time she made him watch. The time in front of the fire. The time of Harvey’s birthday in which there were many interesting things explored. Plus, you just know the desk in his office has seen more than just paperwork. He would eat her out for days and is also more than happy to try new positions. However, while he isn’t averse to bending her over the armchair, his favourite are the more intimate positions. The ones where he can hold her close (the man loves to spoon) and where he can look into her eyes and kiss her senseless. So, while he absolutely loves to pin her against a wall or have her on top of him so he can ogle her, his favourite and most frequently used is missionary. He’s in love with her and wants to watch as she falls apart for him, because of him. 

Thank you so much for sending this positively delightful question! It was so fun to answer! <3

[sistersorrow]

Finished Harrow the Ninth a couple hours ago

I'm not a reviewing type, so I'm just gonna include a bunch of things that made me have reactions and other miscellaneous things about my experience with the book

I don't care what Gideon says, the waters may be choppy, but the Harrow x Ianthe ship ain't sunk yet

TV Tropes is a godsend for me, cause it wasn't until I read the Foreshadowing page that I remembered a bunch of details I'd completely forgot about

I didn't bother to actually google how you pronounce Ianthe until 300 pages into the second book

People sold Gideon the Ninth as "lesbian necromancers in space" but Harrow the Ninth is the one where Harrow and Ianthe are both down horrendous

I had a vague inkling that The Locked Tomb was set in our future just because there were nine houses on nine planets and the Ninth House sounded like Pluto, but I did not expect this to be all but confirmed through a 10,000 year old immortal necromancer referencing the "It's for church honey" Facebook post and God himself mentioning None Pizza Left Beef

This does not however explain not 10,000 year old Gideon referencing Llamas in Hats

No one is allowed to say they Fucked Nasty Style anymore unless it involved cutting off your partner's arm and replacing it with a necromanticly animated bone one

The author confirmed on Reddit that partway through writing that scene she realised how sexually charged it felt and ran with it

My pronouns are She/ cause I'll never be Her (toxic immortal lich wife Ianthe, who killed a man and ate his soul to attain unlimited power and get her face on posters)

The author has stated that Ianthe is a very intentional Draco in Leather Pants character with the core differences being that she's a woman and as a sense of humour, which is why she is in fact Best Girl

I was left wondering if I'd imagined all the memes being referenced cause TV Tropes didn't make mention of a single one, so I checked the Locked Tomb subreddit to make sure I had not performed The Work on myself

If there are any Homestuck references, I didn't notice, cause I have expunged most of my knowledge of it

Dad jokes are the pinnacle of all humour

The Emperor is really bad at gaslighting

Harrow may have died with the last thing she ever saw being a nudie mag that doesn't exist, which is just hilarious

Ianthe did everything wrong, and that's why she's the best

Reading this book has reminded me I'm very bad at picking up on foreshadowing, hence scrolling through TV Tropes right after finishing the book

That threesome is the most uncomfortable I've been in weeks, which makes it good writing

I'm probably gonna read the short stories next then start Nona the Ninth sometime next week

[suzukiblu]

Day ten of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

The waitress comes over with another steaming mug of hot chocolate for Kon and Tim awkwardly orders not-Robin's-coffee-order, which since he's panicking he defaults to Caroline Hill's usual for. She's a med student, she drinks enough caffeine for his tastes. And also she likes extremely sugary drinks, which is definitely to his taste. 

Look, Robin can't drink an iced brown sugar oat milk espresso with six extra pumps of syrup and four extra shots of espresso, especially in front of the exact teammate who would tease him the most mercilessly for having a finicky drink order, but Caroline Hill can drink anything she wants, and Tim Drake is just gonna be channeling her for this conversation, he guesses. Her Twitter account already got him here to begin with, so he might as well.

“That is a concerning amount of caffeine in one drink, dude,” Kon observes with a raised eyebrow instead of teasing him over either the syrup or oat milk, which is not actually what Tim expected to hear. But, well, he's not Robin right now, so maybe Kon isn't feeling the same urge to start shit that he usually seems to. 

Tim's not sure how to feel about that. But Robin is, technically, an “authority” figure and a fellow superhero, and Tim Drake is just some guy, so . . . 

Actually, Tim doesn't really know how Kon gets along with civilian guys. He's seen him flirt up plenty of civilian girls, obviously, but he doesn't really seem to talk to all that many guys. Like . . . ever, actually. 

Weird, he thinks, repressing a frown. 

“How would you know, you're Kryptonian,” he says. 

“Half-Kryptonian,” Kon says, then waves a hand around the café. “And like, you know, also this entire planet is full of people who can just tell me these things. Five thousand milligrams is the minimum lethal dose of caffeine for a healthy adult, which is something like seventy-five shots of espresso, but more than four or five shots in a day is still not gonna be great for you, and you just ordered six.”

“. . . how the hell do you just know that off the top of your head?” Tim asks, blinking at him in absolute bewilderment, and Kon smirks in smug amusement.

“Dude, I was programmed by exhausted grad students pulling six months straight of all-nighters,” he says, pointing at his own temple. “I know every possible thing there is to know about every possible caffeine delivery system. Including the illegal ones and the ones the government hasn't yet realized should be illegal.” 

“Huh,” Tim says, still more than a little bewildered. That does make sense, he guesses, but since Kon's already told the team he has absolutely no useful background in any kind of science or math past the absolute kiddie-level basics when they were all exchanging information about all their personal training and experience, it's still a surprise to hear. Shouldn't Cadmus have prioritized an actual education over things like safe caffeine intake for baseline humans, especially since Kon's safe intake level is probably different from a baseline human's anyway? Which–well, he guesses Kon did get cracked out of his cloning tube early, but still. They at least should've been building up the basics for him. Like–more than the kiddie-level basics, he means. 

Cadmus is definitely not capable enough to be in charge of Kon. Like, at all. Ever. Tim has fewer and fewer regrets about this whole plan every minute, in fact. If anything, he should've started drafting it the day he met Rex Leech, never mind the fact that Kon hadn't technically existed yet at the time. Or after the Poison Ivy incident, maybe. At the least he should've done up an outline or two after he and Kon and Bart had helped Suzie escape recapture and then collectively lied to the government about it.

“You work for those guys, right?” he “asks” as Kon takes a sip of his new hot chocolate, because while the best time to start this whole plan was months ago, the second-best time to start it is now. “Project Cadmus?” 

"Yeah," Kon replies, looking a little surprised by the question. Tim reminds himself to con the team into brushing up on the superhero version of stranger danger, because Kon answered that question way too easily. "Well, just started to. I'm a field agent. How'd you know?” 

"I've done some research on you since we first met," Tim says, which isn't even a lie; just some careful phrasing. "I really appreciated what you did for me. And to be honest, I think we'd get along."

"Oh yeah? Tell me all about it," Kon says as his posture shifts a little and he flashes him the kind of smirk he normally reserves for, well . . . 

Huh, Tim thinks in vague bemusement.

Kon's flirting with him. 

. . . huh. 

Not actually the angle Tim was intending to take here, but . . . well, he's not above taking it. And anyway, Kon's just a flirt in general, so it's not like it means anything. 

Admittedly Tim hasn't actually seen him flirt with a guy before, but presumably Kon's just feeling out an opportunity to experiment or not ready to be out to the team yet. Tim's not, so he'd hardly blame him for that. Tim's not even out to Steph.

And he's definitely, definitely not out to Bruce. 

Well, ideally he'll be a supervillain before that becomes necessary, assuming his life goes to plan. 

Robin was always going to be a temporary gig, after all. 

"I don't know," he says, and lets the corners of his mouth curl up in amusement. "You just seem like my type of guy." 

"Your type of guy?" Kon says, his smirk widening as he leans in towards Tim, who decides to pretend that particular bit of flirtatious implication was actually intentional. Tim is . . . not all that great at flirting, admittedly, but it's not like Kon has particularly high standards past “didn't explicitly tell me to fuck off”, so Tim figures he'll be able to get by for long enough to have this conversation. 

Not much longer, but all the same. He has a plan to pitch, that's all that actually matters here. 

“Yeah,” he says. “And I wanted to thank you for saving me, so . . .” 

“You wanna thank me, Tim Drake?” Kon asks with a slower, wider smirk, leaning in a little more again, and Tim instantly turns bright red as he realizes how that actually sounded. 

Yeah, okay, he is actually the worst at flirting. Fuck. 

“Uh, yes!” he says quickly, very much needing to clarify that statement before his stupid fucking hormones try to talk him into maybe just . . . leaning into that particular miscommunication a little. Not the goal here. Definitely not. “I mean–being a field agent doesn't sound particularly lucrative? And I know being a superhero isn't.” 

“Lucrative?” Kon blinks, expression turning puzzled. “I mean, I guess not. I don't need that much money or anything, though, I just live at Cadmus these days.” 

“You live in a lab?” Tim says, letting himself sound as incredulously horrified as he felt the first time he heard that. “Why?” 

“I dunno, saves me a commute,” Kon replies with a shrug. “Also, like, it's not like I have a credit score to get my own place with. Or a legal identity. Or, you know, money. Landlords tend to want those.” 

“Hm,” Tim says. “Do you want one?” 

“Huh?” Kon wrinkles his nose in confusion. 

“Your own place,” Tim clarifies. “I really would like to thank you. I could help you get a place.” 

“Uh, thanks? But I still couldn't afford rent, even if somebody cosigned for me or whatever,” Kon says, looking puzzled. “I really don't make that much.”

“No, I mean I'd pay your rent,” Tim explains, which is in fact an insane person thing to offer somebody, admittedly, but it's not like Kon has all that reliable a grasp of normal social mores. “Or just buy you a place outright and pay your property taxes. Whichever you'd prefer.”

Kon blinks. Tilts his head. 

“So like, you're just a very extra dude, huh,” he says after a moment, his eyebrows slowly raising as he pushes his sunglasses up into his hair. “Like you're the guy who blows the budget on the friend group's Secret Santa out of the water every year.”

“Possibly,” Tim says, putting on a sheepish smile. Kon laughs and folds his arms on the table, looking amused. 

“You wanna buy me an apartment?” he asks. “What, just for saving your life?” 

“I really think you're undervaluing that particular achievement,” Tim says. 

“I think you're overvaluing it,” Kon replies with another laugh. “No offense, but I didn't do anything but block one lousy bullet.” 

“One lousy bullet is enough,” Tim says, and doesn't think of any bodies he's seen. Kon tilts his head again, then takes a sip of his hot chocolate. 

“Okay, fair,” he allows. “But I'm bulletproof.” 

“I'm not,” Tim says. 

“You were as long as I was touching the same floor as you,” Kon replies with a shrug, and takes another sip. “It wasn't like I did anything hard.” 

He hasn't actually said “no” to the apartment. Tim's pretty sure that's just because he thinks he's either ridiculous or just not being serious, but he's not above pressing the advantage anyway. 

“You didn't have to do anything at all, though,” he says. "And buying you a place wouldn't be all that hard for me either. Besides, you deserve a little gratitude for your efforts, don't you think?” 

"Sounds like supervillain talk, dude," Kon says, his mouth quirking in amusement around his next sip. Tim resolves to dial back on that at this point in his career. He's laying groundwork, yes, but subtlety is still the wiser course of action. 

"You say that like you've never socialized with a supervillain before," he counters dryly. 

"Well, usually ones who wear a bit less," Kon replies, lowering his mug to grin wickedly at him. Tim figures if a little more flirting might soften him up on this whole idea, well . . . 

It's not the most altruistic thing he's ever done for a plan, admittedly, but if it works, it works. 

"So you're telling me I should invest in a crop top before I try to take over the world and remake it in my own image?" he asks still more dryly as he raises an eyebrow at Kon with a little smirk, and Kon laughs and leans in a little closer again, giving him a not very subtle up-and-down with his eyes. 

"Only if you're trying to recruit me for your evil plans, pretty boy," he says, grin turning sharp. Tim feels vaguely faint, and also wants to lick the bastard's stupid perfect teeth. Jesus. "So I dunno, what are your feelings on Daisy Dukes?" 

"I'm going to be honest, I'm not actually that much of an exhibitionist so at this point we're just describing my ideal costume updates for you," Tim informs him. 

"Oh yeah?" Kon asks with another laugh even as he straightens back up to visibly preen at the suggestion. Tim is all for that, personally. Both the preening and the theoretical updates, in fact. And, a little more weirdly, just the idea of having anything whatsoever to do with what Kon might ever decide to wear. Especially whatever he might decide to wear for his costume. 

Yeah, that's probably a later thought, Tim decides. Like, a private-time kind of later thought. Specifically “behind locked doors in an empty house” private-time, actually.

"You're solar-powered, aren't you?" he says reasonably, because apparently he likes to suffer and also make himself low-key insane. "Showing a bit more skin can't hurt." 

"I wonder if Superman would buy that excuse," Kon says musingly. 

"Power Girl exists," Tim replies still more reasonably. "And Supergirl wears a miniskirt, last I checked." 

"Valid," Kon says, putting on a mock-thoughtful expression and tapping the side of his jaw. "Maybe I'll put in some cutouts and go for a lower neckline, tell the big guy he's making the rest of us look like prudes. What do you think, bikini or high-cut bottoms?"

"I don't know the difference," Tim lies, desperately trying not to overheat and die at that question and every single accompanying mental image that his useless brain has so helpfully decided to supply. "You'll have to provide examples."

"Will I now," Kon says, grinning all over again and pointedly striking a very suggestive pose in his seat. Tim valiantly struggles not to melt. "What, pretty boy, you want a fashion show?" 

"Well I did want to be a photographer when I was a kid," Tim says, although it was definitely never that kind of photography he had in mind. Kon laughs again and shifts in closer again, though, so it's worth it. Tim is mortified, but also undeniably into just . . . all of this, really, just everything about this conversation. Robin can't flirt with Superboy, but, well . . . Tim Drake still isn't Robin, now is he? 

He's probably taking advantage of the situation a little, Tim can admit to himself, but it's still just . . . nice. He's wanted to flirt with Kon for way too long, at this point. Indulging in a little bit of it isn't the worst thing he could do. 

And again, it's Kon, so it's not like it's serious or anything. The guy won't even remember this conversation tomorrow, much less anything about Tim Drake. 

. . . admittedly that'd be counterproductive to Tim's long-term goals here, but still. He's willing to take his time on this. There's a plan. It has steps. Layers. Processes. 

"I like you, man," Kon says with a wider grin, which is in absolutely no way whatsoever in the plan. "You're funny."

Tim stares blankly at him as it occurs to him, almost disbelievingly, that he might've . . . made a good impression on Kon? Somehow? 

Well, that's weird.

"I'll never get a fashion show out of you if I'm not at least funny," he says on autopilot, as someone who's been well-taught both when and how to press an advantage. Kon, yet again, grins at him, and gives him another much brighter laugh than usual. 

Actually, he kind of hasn't stopped grinning at him, has he. 

Huh. 

. . . huh. 

Tim really did not plan for this. This is just . . . not at all what the plan was. 

“Well, you definitely are funny,” Kon says, biting his lip around a warm little smile and ducking his head just enough to look at Tim from under his lashes, and Tim decides he can probably just amend the plan.

He's a Bat, isn't he? They know how to improvise when they have to.

[quetzalpapalotl]

For my like 10 followers that aren't into Transformers, here is a list of things that are totally canon for the IDW Transformers comics (2005-2018):

Two guys had a meetcute in the morgue of an euthanasia clinic because one guy wanted to kill himself and the other was looking for his dissappeared husband among the corpses. They get married. They seemingly don't talk about what they're going to do once they find the second guy's husband that they're still looking for. The suicidal guy has had other 3 husbands but he erased his memory of that because he's bad at dealing with grief.

The suicidal guy's ex (not one of his dead husbands) is the Autobot second-in-command and had a pet mad scientists that made him war crime machines. They ended up invented the concept of having a child, but then the Autobot SIC had the scientist thrown into the torment nexus because he felt bad about doing war crimes and wahted to stop. He didn't actually stop doing war crimes.

Optimus Prime annexes Earth.

A guy invents time travel to save his unrequited crush's life

God is a real person but he's not actually a deity and is currently a therapist whose license was revoked for getting unprofessionally close to his patients. Everyone who knew his license was revoked died so he just kept on practicing.

Optimus Prime pretends to be havig divinely-inspired visions to get out of situations.

Tumblr exists in-universe.

There's a guy named Centurion who was made to think he's Bumblebee because when his ship crashed a scientist brainwashed them into thinking they were classic Transformers characters to see what happens. Thousands of years later he gets involved in human wars and remembers he's not Bumblebee. He develops a self hatred so great he lets a G.I. Joe villian use him for his schemes. Centurion then has his consciousness fused with a human named Mike Power and lives perpetually with the biggest identity crisis of history.

Another guy also had his memories messed with and has lived multiple human lives (he may be Gilgamesh) when he's actually a Transformer secret agent. He's overcoming his own identity crisis through the power of sheer vanity. He also owns the in-universe equivalent of Facebook and Apple.

On at least 3 occasions Transformers used another Transformer's corpse as a vehicle. And on 1 occasion they used a corpse as a replacement limb (the guys alternate mode was a leg)

The Transformers on planet Cybertron at some point forgot that gender is a thing. There are lost colonies from before this so gender is still a thing in those.

One of those cybertronian colonies sends a delegate after millennia of absence and her bodyguard hates the place so much she causes a terrorist attack just as an excuse to go home, people die. The delegate was like "that was bad but we can move past this" and forgives her.

The Decepticons rewired their own soldiers into bombs and dropped them on people.

The Decepticons also rewired Autobots into anti-personnel live mines that would explode when they good too stressed and needed to be handled by people that could defuse them while keeping them calm.

Transformers are allergic to magic.

A guy has a fanzine dedicated to the Autobot Black-ops where he writes fanfiction. It's so popular multiple people are on a mailing list to have it downloaded directly to their brains when a new issue comes out.

A Decepticon's plan to deal with population decline is to make a bunch of organic babies, have them grow up and make more babies and then transplant their souls to Transformers bodies. He got as far as growing one (1) baby. Tbh, you could erase this whole plot and the story wouldn't suffer much.

Starscream who is a backstabbing liar who cares only for himself becomes president. He routinely neglects and endangers the population for his own ends. He was the best leader Cybertron ever had at the time.

[heyftinally]

Taylor only has one thing when it comes to the opressed olympic. It's the fact she is a woman. And swifties use that for any criticism against her.

" Oh you just hate succesful women."

She isn't black, She isn't gay trans etc.., She isn't disabled, She isn't poor, she isn't jewish, she isn't muslim, etc... etc...

Swifties also need to learn that a black man is not more privileged than a white woman. They seem to think that she is always more oppressed against any other man.

They could literally think that a homeless black man has more privilege than the billionaire white woman. All because he is a man.

🔔🔔🔔 Ding ding ding, we have a winner, folks! You hit the nail on the head.

Taylor Swift has weaponized her white woman tears and "oppression" to her own benefit, and this is exactly how.

None of her fans seems to ACTUALLY understand how oppression works, they just take the pretty little buzzwords that they think are synonymous with "I'm a good person who's right" and parrot them like a $2 children's toy (half the time while sending death threats and racist/homophobic slurs, which makes it even more ironic)

Taylor Swift is not oppressed. She's just not. Honestly, yes, even though she's a woman - and before any feral Swifties come at me, I AM a woman - she's not oppressed, and I'll tell you why.

"Billionare" overrides most (not all) other categories. As soon as you're a billionaire, nothing else matters, because you can buy your way into and out of anything. Combine that with the facade that the entire world worships her, and guess what? Nobody gives a shit that she's a woman. She's not oppressed because a few people she's never heard of make jokes about how much she sucks - she DOES suck, but those comments have zero impact on her life. She doesn't even know they exist. In Taylorland, everyone loves her no matter what she does - even if she's best friends with/dating bigots.

In order for someone to be oppressed, systematic situations have to negatively impact their life on a day to day basis. Disabled people can't get married without losing their disability income. LGBTQ+ people are still getting murdered in the street for just existing and having their right to healthcare taken away. People of a variety of ethnic minorities still get denied things like loans at a higher rate than white people. Women get denied promotions because they're not men.

None of these things will ever happen to Taylor Swift. She can quite literally pay to access a "perfect" world, because she gets to pay her way out of normal life.

If someone makes a sexist joke? She can have that person fired and hire someone else.

She can pay for as much private security as she wants, so being safe is literally never a concern.

She can pay for private travel (and kill the planet every ten minutes), she can pay for private staff to handle her every whim and worry.

Taylor Swift has effectively paid her way out of oppression, because she can simply use her power, her money, and her legion of feral fans to get whatever she wants.

Someone makes a joke she doesn't like? Clearly it's "oppression" and now that person is "canceled" at best, or getting doxxed and sent death threats at worst.

Taylor Swift isn't oppressed because she can pay to fix nearly any problem in her life, so her biggest "problem" is people not unquestioningly worshipping her 24/7, which is what she weaponizes.

And fans will still claim that she's more oppressed than a black disabled homeless man, because they don't understand oppression OR intersectionality - all the know is worship Taylor and harass.

[idiotdriftinginspace]

WIP MERMAY

(if I'll ever finish this, it'll most likely be next may, ops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

this is updated version, i hope

Well, this is what happens when my brain just combines the two things i like into one... I mean, you can't blame me, 'cuz it's TRANSFORMERS AND SUBNAUTICA! How could I NOT combine these two things?!

So behold: Unicron And Earth as merformers? is that a word? term? I just for whatever reason decided to Play with their designs with alien fish. Anyway- these two belong to @lets-try-some-writing

and some rambling under cut, good luck, you'll need it

Uhhh spoilers for Subnautica ig

So the moment i let my mind wander, I get hit with this kind of ideas. Why Subnautica of all things? BECAUSE I LOVE THAT GAME AND THE REAPER LEVIATHAN AND SEE EMPEROR FIT PERFECTLY-

Ok, so the idea of a beastformers that turn into Subnautica fauna (and i guess flora as well, thank you Botanica from Beast Mashines for existing), was spinning around inside my head for quite some time now - JUST YOU WAIT, I WILL DRAW THEM, so many OCs to make, hopefuly this summer break.

UNICRON- my initial thought was just Reaper Leviathan: the mandibles on his back instead of wings, something similar to Tarantulas, mmm yes. Both he and Earth have four eyes only because both reaper and see empress four of them. All of them are aliens and have natural glowing body parts, so why not, my brain just said let's go crazy and didn't wait for an answers besides WE NEED MORE TRANSFORMERS WITH 4 EYES.

But then i rememberd that there's a bigger fish- THE SEA DRAGON. He dose have these matching spikes on his body, and the back appendages? tentacles? Are similar to Sea Emperors and is living in the deepest parts on the map. However, Sea Empress os the biggest alive creature in game (for aby fellow Subnautica nerds, o know that Gargantuan Leviathan i WAAAY bigger, but his design is eh, probably not the best here, maybe the colar thiengies could be like a cape?). But then i hit me- UNICRON CAN BE A REAPER AND SEA DRAGON HYBRID! It basicly gives me the ability to put all the parts of both fishes that match Unicrons og body the best and a "logical" explenation as to why he would be always bigger than Earth. With hybrids, sometimes they are bigger than parental species, so as hybrid he could be unnaturaly bigger, and with Sea Dragon parts he can live in the deepest game bioms.

EARTH- the Sea Emperor because yes. Also In game it's te Sea Empress babies that produce enzyme 42, the only thing that managed to destroy the deadly bacteria (GREEN BACTERIA, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GREEN? TOX-EN) and save/give life to the entire planet again, and she is a curious, young, litle thing like the hatchlings; i'm guessing that's why she's so small in authors drawing. She's a baby

(huh now that i'm thinking about it, maybe Primus should be Sea Emperor, Unicron just a Reaper and Earth a Sea Dragon, after all wild fires are a recurring events...version 2 ig?)

I really wanted to have it done by the end of may, but uhh i'm working on some other thing, that was suposed to be just a sketch, and instead it just grew bigger, and my brain is just demanding full render XD And it will now take even more time despite it being almost finished, because the moment i discovered tha faster and easier method for shading and lightning throu clipping masks, i knew I'd use it there, so XD But hey at least i know it'll look better now ( ≖‿ ≖ )