#shes literally never been romantically attracted to a man in her life

[charmac]

The fact that The S.I.N.N.E.D. System is not only the reverse of The D.E.N.N.I.S. System by name, but in its actual goal:

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System ends with Separate Entirely and begins with the avoidance of going on a date. It’s purely about sex.

The S.I.N.N.E.D. System ends with Do You Want a Tissue? Dennis’ tried and true method to secure a second date, and:

it works for Dee but she sabotages herself—because she has no interest in pursuing a man romantically; it works for Mac but he bows out—because he already has a man he’s pursuing romantically;

The S.I.N.N.E.D. System is about romance. Dating, consistently, something Dennis makes very clear he doesn't do...

Except:

"This is a man we're talking about,

it's always about him."

[hellisharchive]

Heyoooo! You probably know me from messaging you but I wanted to ask if you could write a Vox x Fem!reader where reader just takes care of a really wasted but infatuated Vox?

﹒﹒﹒my queen

➤ 18+, drunk Vox, jealous reader, fluff fluff fluff, bathing

➤ Literally wrote this at 2 am and got done at 3 am, so not beta read <3 TYSM for the request! I hope you enjoy it!. AGAIN HOW THE FUCK DID I ACCIDENTLY POST THIS THIS WAS A DRAFT. I dont like how this turned out tbh

You and Vox were close, but you wouldn't dare say that you two were dating. You did have a small crush on him and was scared that confessing would ruin your fiendship. Little did you know he also had a crush on you as well, it was just unfortunate he was letting his business and brand take importance over his personal life. You were an honorary Vee and his best friend. Sure, Velvette and Valentino were his friends too, but you always got jealous as you watched Val and Vox act in such a romantic way with each other all the time. You always suspected that they were a thing, and even if they didn't have a label, you respected it. So, you always kept your feelings hidden deep down

. But you did need a break, it got so tiring having to watch and hear them act all cute and making sexual advances from the time to time. You've been ignoring Vox for at least two weeks, probably not the best choice but your emotions got the better of you. But tonight, you decided to get out of the tower and have some fun. You went to a pretty well known nightclub- not owned by Vox, a rare occurrence- to let off some steam. Your goal was to get laid by the end of the night with a convenientially attractive stranger, but life doesn't always work out as you want.

Yet, when Vel called you as you were about to get on the dancefloor with a hot bull, you dropped everything to take care of the television that was drowning his sorrows in alcohol. According to her, he kept talking about how he wished he could tell you something and how beautiful you were. You mulled over it as you walked back through the tower in your fancy nightclub dress just an hour earlier. While on your way there, you came across Velvette who looked very pissed off and scrolling through phone in the main living area of the personal living quarters. When she saw you, she flipped you off and rolled your eyes.

"Fucking finally! Vox has been throwing a hissy fit waiting for his queen to come and shut him up. Fuck you for taking so long, he's called me twenty fucking times asking where you were bevause he forgot he changed your contact info!" That was all she said before growling and walking away, signalling that you were going to handle this yourself like normal. You never let what Vel says get to you, that's just how she normally is. But he changed your contact info? What to? You've calmed down a drunken Vox many times before, but this time seemed bad.

"Vox?" You knock and call out before opening his door to find a very wasted man laying on his couch, hiccuping and looking incredibly sad. He was slumped over with a wine bottle in his hand, no wine glass, and the red liquid was spilled all over himself. Wine? Really? He got drunk on wine out of his entire collection? He's usually a fun drunk, cracking jokes and overall being the most funny in the room from the out of pocket shit he says. So seeing him so down makes you feel guilty for ignoring him. But as soon as he looked at you, his face lit up and a smile immediately popped up. He dropped the glass and stood up, trying to rush up to you. However, because he was so inebriated, he started to stumble, which caused you to rush up and catch him from his shoulders.

"My Queen! Where did you go? I missed you my sweet!" The comment about Vel calling you his "queen" you just passed off as Vel being Vel, but now he was calling that you too? Maybe playing into this fantasy would be best, drunk people are never rational and don't know what they're even saying.

"Well my king, I had a very important meeting with another kingdom to attend to. But you requested my presence immediately!" You spoke matter-of-fact as you navigated him to the bathroom, it was hard already with him being unable to properly walk, but he also kept staring at you, so he stepped over his own feet countless times.

"Hehehe...I like when you call me that. YOUR king. I'm your king! How lucky am I?" He giggled and that made your heart beat faster. How lucky was he? What was he talking about? Maybe this was just his drunk self talking, you knew he didn't feel that way, he absolutely had a thing for Val, not you. Gulping, you finally manage to drag him to the bathroom where you sat him on the toilet. He would be so sticky with all that wine that soaked through his clothes, so you were going to bathe him. Sure, getting him in and out his going to be a challenge, but you still cared for this man a lot and wanted the best for him.

"I'm getting you your pjs, do not move ok?" You started to leave the bathroom when he whined loudly, making a swipe for your wrist but missed as he looked at you with puppy eyes. Due to his television screen head, his facial expressions can get extremely animated, unlike normal sinners. His eyes basically took up his entire screen, only leaving a little bit of space for a pout. The sight made your heart ache.

"Don't leave again my lovely queen! I need to tell you something!" Sighing, you gave him a soft smile and walked back up to him. Picking up his hand, you put your other hand on top of his and gave him the most softest smile you muster..

"It is bedtime, my king, you must be bathed before heading to our bed. You can tell me once we retire" Our bed. Saying it made your heart do flips.

"Oookkk my beautiful queen! Hehehe you're so pretty..." He had a dopey smile as you walked away, heart hammering so loud it should have been echoing in the room. He thought you were pretty? Fuck- why does he made you feel this way? You knew that look too, it was a look of complete love. He certainly couldn't love you though, that has to be impossible. He was with Val, he had to be. Going on autopilot, you gather up his favorite pyjamas and mentally prepare yourself for going back into the flames. When you get back, he was still sitting on the toilet, giggling and staring ahead as he was talking to himself about how in love with him he was.

What?

He was drunk, he was drunk, he was drunk- why couldn't you even entertain the idea of him returning your feelings? Why was it so hard to accept that fact? Taking a deep breath, you walk into the room and he lights up again.

"My queen! Are thou ready to bathe me? You got my favorite pjs! And you have an amazing ass! There's a reason why I married you!" Freezing once again, you ignoring his comment about your ass in luei of the last thing he said. Married...you? Did Vox think you two married each other? The thought made you shiver and face warm with how amazing that sounded. Being officially tied to him forever, waking up with him together, and getting to love him forever. Standing up after finishing setting the dials to the right temperature, you looked at him and now needed to know more.

"And why else did you marry me my dear?" Battting your eyelashes with the most innocent face you could gather, you started to stip him of his clothes. You've seen him naked a handful of times which always made you incredibly flustered, but undressing him? It made you nervous, especially with how he's acting towards you.

"You're the beeeeest, like, THE best! You're so pretty and gorgeous and have SUCH a hot bod! But you're so so sweet and amazing and help me with everything!" Did he...did he actually love you? Was whatever he was doing with Val was nothing? Shakily manging to get him completely undressed, you stood him up to maneuver him into the large tub. Not trusting yourself to say anything more, you gently lay him down in the perfectly warm water and start lathering him up. You also never bathed him before, so your nerves were going to overdrive. He took your silence and silenced himself too, maybe he somehow knew you were really anxious right now. Taking great care in not getting water on his head, you see as his face turned from a happy one, to a somber one.

The rest of the process of getting him out, drying him off, changing into his pjs, and moving him to his bed was deadly quiet. You felt like you would be breaking some unsaid rule. Tucking him into bed, you left a glass of water and painkillers on his nightstand, turning off the big light and turning on the lamp. Sitting down next to his curled up body, you rubbed his back and felt conflicted. He's drunk as balls. He probably won't remember any of this. Getting up and saying goodnight, he yells for you one last time.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did wrong but I'm sorry. Is it Val? We aren't anything serious. I was too scared to tell you because you're so beautiful and I didn't want you to leave me. I love you" Vox looked down at his lap with a sullen expression. Heart hurting for the countless time today, you gave him a kiss on his screen and turned away with a smile

"Tell me when you're sober"

[echoed-salvation]

Watching a certain subsect of manhwa-only fans reduce yoo sangah to a "love interest waifu" character is so frustrating because it literally goes against the entire point of her character. She's been trying her whole life to escape the expectations put on her just because she's a conventionally attractive woman. She went against her family's wishes for her to marry rich and got a job to become independent, only to face harassment and sexism in her male-dominated workplace. She is frequently objectified and pushed to be appealing to the male gaze. Even kim dokja initially thinks of her as less of a person and more of an archetype. Yoo sangah is a woman trying to forge her own identity within a patriarchal society that will never see her for who she truly is.

I think it says something about the way we consume media that we always assume that an attractive female character who plays a particular role in the male mc's life must be a romantic interest - that most of the fandom discussions of yoo sangah I've seen are about whether she and kdj are going to get together romantically and that so many of us complain about being "tricked" into thinking that they are when their canon relationship remains entirely platonic by the end of the novel. When yoo sangah is close to kim dokja we expect the development of a romance between the two. If a woman is close with a man then we think that's the only option for their relationship. We are taught to see female characters not as their own people, but rather mere objects for men.

[captain-barnes-writes]

Solace

Summary: In which finding comfort in the arms of Bucky Barnes after Steve leaves turns into something more.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader, past relationship with Steve Rogers

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: Language, smut smut smut, unprotected sex, --18+

NOT PROOFREAD

Was it wrong to seek comfort in the arms of your ex boyfriend’s bestfriend?

Frankly, she knew it was. How wrong it looked in the eyes of others. She always questioned the choice she’d made all those months ago. The very conscious decision to kiss and find herself on top of Bucky Barnes whenever possible.

They both didn’t mean for it to happen. Y/N had found solace within Bucky after Steve just up and jumped into a time machine to live out his life with a woman he could never forget . Another decision that had been well thought out and conscious of the heartbreak and loss that it would ensue for those closest to him, especially the girl he’d told countless times he loved.

Her.

The person he’d shared more than a year with. It had been her who had been hurt the most, feeling blindsided as though she had meant nothing to him. As though she had not been enough for him to stay.

Now, she couldn’t really fathom to think of Steve Rogers much. Not when Bucky Barnes was on top of her. Not when she felt utterly consumed in his presence. And especially not when his metal arm was wrapped around her throat.

Fucking each other came so easy to them. The attraction had always been there, buried deep beneath the loyalty and respect they both had for Steve. But when the months passed and their paths crossed many times after that loss, it was quite impossible to not give into the longing looks.

God, it had really been impossible for them. Not when all she could focus on was the pink of his lips as he talked, her lashes fluttering as she tried so hard to keep her composure. Meeting his eyes didn’t make anything better because if she wasn’t staring at his lips, it was his eyes that really did it for her. The beautiful blue in them luring her in further into the attraction that once couldn’t be, and yet they both knew there was nothing stopping them any longer.

For Bucky, it was the same. The front of his pants tightened whenever he found himself in her presence. She was beautiful and he would��ve been lying to himself if he said he hadn’t found her attractive ever since the day they met. He’d never been a hopeless romantic nor did he believe in fairytales, but the tingles he felt when he first reached for her hand and she’d instead pulled him in for a friendly warm hug had literally made him shudder. He had laughed it off, still denying the feelings she’d lit inside him.

So when they both found themselves stumbling into her apartment after having met for dinner, it had been no surprise that their kiss sent tingles down each of their spines. It was needy, passionate and in the same way it felt like relief as well. Relief that they could give into something they had both yearned for a while and not feel any guilt as nothing was stopping them.

That had been months ago when they both succumbed to the fiery passion that had only been lit aflame with time. Now with a month of not having seen each other, it felt as though each of them were missing a little part of each other.

For Bucky, it was satisfaction that he felt too. To be able to feel the softness of her skin under his fingers, but most especially of his metal fingers on her bare skin and that she didn’t care, that she welcomed the cold of his prosthetic with breathy moans.

She breathed out, her eyes shadowed with pure admiration for the handsome man laying above her on the couch since they couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. It should’ve felt wrong, but it didn’t. It felt phenomenal to be wanted by someone like him. He was Bucky Barnes, who rarely showed his true emotions but with her and their common grief he’d been nothing but a light at the end of the dark tunnel she thought she’d never come out of.

“I missed you, Bucky.” She dared to say, voice soft yet laced with so much lust. It was simple to admit that she’d missed him. Every part of him. Him, his smile, his crinkly eyes. 

Just him.

Pretty lips so swollen and red, eyes wide and expectant as she looked at the handsome man above her. He couldn’t form a coherent response to her for a minute as he was on top of her, kissing those lips he’d had a craving for for too long.

“I missed you too, baby.”

She was addicting and he still couldn’t believe that he could touch her and she’d allow it, that she would visibly revel in his touch. That she wanted him just as much as he did, it was evident. Evident in the way she always kissed him, scratched at his back and moaned his name loudly into any room they found themselves wrapped up in each other.

His metal arm was cold against her skin, but despite this it didn’t bother her. The rest of his body radiated warmth and was enough to soothe her. His hands moved from being a tangled mess on her hair to her legs where he signaled for her to wrap them around his waist. She did so and felt every ridge of his strong body with her curious hands, from his hard stomach to his growing cock. Her hands swiftly unbuttoned his pants and slid her hands under his boxers. He was already rock hard and her nimble hands wrapped around the warm thick shaft, slightly squeezing him.

Their lips were still meshed together, unable to part from one another. Meanwhile his rough hand had pushed down the thin cotton pants she was wearing, showcasing her lavender panties and soft skin. His fingers pushed the delicate fabric aside and began to rub circles on her lips with his palm, while his fingers had arched down to work on her nub. At this, she pulled away from his lips to let out a breathy moan and her hand, too, had come to a halt in his boxers.  

He continued to rub his hands on her most sensitive area, building up what he could imagine would shatter her in the most beautiful way. His middle finger had slid inside her and his lips had attached to her neck sucking on her sweet skin. She smelled of honey and vanilla and tasted like it too and he’d be lying to himself if that didn’t make him harder. Y/N’s moans were music to his ears and he wanted to hear more of her, his body slowly moved downwards, kissing his traveling down and pushing her shirt up in the process so he could place wet kisses on her breasts and stomach.

Finally, he reached her most sensitive area and without hesitation, attached his lips on her clít. His tongue massaging the smooth area, lapping at her juices. Bucky’s metal arm had placed itself on her breasts, moving slowly against her nipple. The cold metal had made her shiver once but it brought another sense of excitement that she was unable to hold her head to keep watching him expertly lap at her clit. Her body was starting to shake at what Bucky was putting her through, it was a sweet sensation. Her stomach was starting to tighten, preparing her for what she knew would be a shattering orgasm. Feeling the slight shakes and whimpers from her, he quickly halted his movements.

“You’re gonna come when I’m inside you.” He said, voice laced with lust at the sight of her naked body sprawled on the large couch desperate for him to keep touching her. To get her to that finish line that made her mind and body swirl with incomprehensible joy. Her eyes were half closed, still in a high.

Her lips had attached to his, tasting her essence on his lips and tongue. It was exhilarating to her, being able to touch him and feel how warm he was. She broke free from him urging him to take his clothes off. With pure admiration in her face, she watched as he pulled his sweats along with his boxers down his legs. He was handsome and she was really about to fuck him yet again, she felt like the luckiest.

“Fuck me, Bucky. Please.”

He didn’t waste a single second before he was sinking his length inside her. Filling her to the hilt, until her nails met his back. The usual crescents forming on his back as she relished in the feeling of once again having Bucky inside her. Of being able to feel him and kiss him once again after months.

He felt so good fucking her. His hips already creating that same pattern that she’d come to love. Rough violent movements showing her how much he’d missed her. How much he’d missed the sweet taste of her, her juices in his mouth, the feel of her around him squeezing him.

“Baby you take me so fucking well.” He grunted as the girl below him could only moan in response. She felt delirious, entrapped in the feeling of being fucked into the cushion and enjoying every second of it. She loved it like this. So rough and loving all at once, hips slamming her and yet his hands still managed to carry their gentle touch. Running through her hair, caressing any part of her body where he felt she most needed it.

“You feel so good.”

“Yeah?”

With a bite of her lip, she fought against the roughness of his movements pushing her body upwards to meet the pistoning. She was more wet than she had ever been, the liquid a mess on her legs, on his, and on the cushion. She fucked him back knowing how much he loved that.

“I’ll never get tired of this.” Bucky said, voice low as though he didn’t want her to hear. But she did.

Their eyes met and all she could do when words failed her was to push her body up and take his lips between hers. Kissing him so fervently as he continued fucking her. She felt the same, she could never get tired of the man before her. She could never get tired of how their bodies molded so well together, how their lips met and suddenly everything was alright.

He was everything to her now. The past was just that now: the past. She didn’t think of Steve, not when she was with Bucky, not even when she was alone. Not when he appeared in magazines that still talked about captain america, of his trajectory, not when he came up in conversations as she walked by. That’s how she knew that she had truly moved on.

“Fuck Bucky, I’m gonna come.” She squealed as his metal hand began rubbing slight circles on her slick. The coldness of the prosthetic was just enough for the release her body needed. His dick was hitting her most sensitive spot inside her pushing her further and further from herself and within seconds, she was moaning his name into the room loudly.

Just that alone, seeing how he could get her to come so easily with his touch, Bucky began chasing his own release. She was wetter, pussy juices flowing down her legs and the slick noises of their skin slapping against one another.  Her walls spasming around him, constricting him so fervently that his release too followed within seconds of hers. Hips faltering and groans filling the room. In their own world, high off each other.

“I could never get tired of you either, Bucky.” She said against his chest moments later once they’d both came down of their high. Letting him know that she’d heard him and she felt the same. Chests still heaving, still tired and sweaty, but their hearts full yet again.

I’m so rusty lol but hope you guys like it 🫣

[yandere-wishes]

Long ramble anon here, I'm happy you liked my long ask I was just concerned that I put way too much as I have a tendency to hyperfixate snd overexplain, hence the tldr at the end. To be honest ever since seeing the fox beastman I've been on a bit of a kick with theorizing things for him. (Did the same thing with Rollo hehe) Anyway, if you want some more of my takes I'm happy to share.

Alright so you know how beastmen retain some of their animalistic traits? Well my brain immediately goes to what this means for their romantic endeavors and courting behaviors. Not much is known about the courting process for foxes, but we do know that scent marking and loud vocal barking is used to attract a mate. How does this carry over to a humanoid fox? Well, my theory is that he will likely give his darling something like his coat, or spray whatever cologne he uses on their things or use more of it when he knows he's going to see them. As for the loud vocal barking you better believe my mind immediately went to him just belting out a serenade for his darling, regardless of how he actually may sound I think he's self-assured and prideful enough to believe this would definitely entice his soon to be mate.

Another interesting thing about foxes is that they are monogamous to a fault, rarely ever taking another mate after the passing of their partner, instead remaining loyal until their own passing (at least this was what I've read in my admittedly surface level research). To me this means two things, 1) once Fellow sets his eyes on a darling that's absolutely it for him regardless of how he has to get them by his side it is an inevitability so if they would just be a good dear and surrender early on everything could be so much better, and 2) should anything unfortunate befall to his darling he wouldn't ever fall for anyone else and likely never fully recover emotionally.

Tldr; The fox man would woo his darling with his surely illustrious (at least to him) voice and his cologne or perhaps natural pheromones, and once he woos them Fellow would never so much as look at another in the same light.

Don't apologize Anon!! I love it when people send in long asks about their hyperfixations!! It feels so endearing and sweet and makes me want to give you a big hug!! I'm literally the same when it comes to hyperfixate and overexplain, when I'm obsessed with something (TV show, movie, game, etc) I need to feel it in my veins!! Plus being able to chat about it with people on Tumblr is always one of the best parts!!

I can't stop laughing at the thought of Fellow sending his darling with loud obnoxious barking 🤣🤣 Bonus points if the reader is a regular human and just stares at him confused, while Leona, Ruggie, and Jack just nod in approval in the background (or in anger and disbelief, depends on the scenario). The idea of him sharing his cologne and jacket with Reader is actually really sweet. I like to think that some ways down the line if Fellow ever had to go away for an extended period of time. Reader would just cuddle into a corner hugging his jacket and spraying some of his cologne on herself. He'd be so delighted coming home and smelling his scent so strongly on his beloved.

I love this!! Just Fellow knowing that reader is the one from the first look 😍😍😍😍 He's so smitten and lays on the charm extra thick. Wanting them all so badly and doing anything to get them. If Reader should die (Lord forbid) Fellow definitely wouldn't get another partner BUT he'd also go the extra mile and try to resurrect them. Magic exists in Twisted Wonderland so I'm sure someone out there has the ability to raise the dead. He'd do absolutely anything to hold you in his arms again.

Look Reader is getting a really sweet deal here. A tall handsome man (+ bonus he comes with A SUPER FLUFFY TAIL AND EARS) with a smooth voice, and a charming personality. Willing to give her anything, do anything for her, and make sure she had the best life imaginable. He's physically incapable of cheating and would fawn over the reader like a lovestruck puppy. He's literally just perfect!! Ignoring the manipulative tendencies, obsessive behavior, and ability to maim someone with his teeth😊😊

[milswrites]

A thousand roses

~ Cassian X Fem!Reader

Summary: Every day you curse the books that gave you unrealistically high expectations of men. Sure you were going to be single forever until you meet Cassian. Adamant he wants to take you on a date, Cassian does his best to impress.

Warning: ⚠�� Reading this may give you unrealistically high expectations of men ⚠️

Actual warnings: Lots of sex talk and inferences to sex but no actual smut!

“And then he made her orgasm three times! Three! The last guy I was with didn’t even manage to squeeze one out of me!”

Upon finishing your latest read, you just couldn’t help but give a very detailed review of exactly what you thought about it to your co-worker. A packed cafe in Velaris during the middle of the day was probably not the most appropriate location to shout about your sex life, but you just had to share how the smut filled pages had left you more satisfied than any man had ever done.

Jadis snorted into the steaming hot tea she was drinking, liquid spilling everywhere, “I’m telling you girl, you just need to get out there, kiss a few frogs to find your prince. I don’t know how many more of your smut reviews I can take. It’s not natural to be this turned on at work.”

You hummed in response, fingers absentmindedly brushing over the pages of your book, “But that’s the problem. I’m too picky to go for a frog!” You blame the hundreds of books in your library at home for that, millions of perfect fictional men literally at your fingertips. “Real men just don’t do it for me anymore.”

This statement was confirmed as you miserably scanned your eyes over the customers in the cafe, none of the males present seeming to stick out to you meet any of your self-imposed standards. You only had yourself and your books to blame for your lack of a relationship.

“I’m just never going to find anyone! Forever reading in my house wishing I was at the mercy of one of my book boyfriends” you sighed, not wanting to seem downhearted but you just couldn’t help it. Velaris just so happened to be a haven for beautiful relationships, everywhere you turned you’d see interlocked hands, affectionate hugs and the occasional heated exchange of kisses. You could only wish that one day you’d be in the same boat as them, overwhelmingly in love with someone who you could call your own. There’s a reason the night court was so affectionately called the court of dreams.

Jadis reeled in your wandering mind, “Well darling, I hope you enjoy forever fantasising about sex rather than having it. I for one can’t wait to take Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome for a spin.”

She was referring to the moderately attractive male who had asked her out the other day during the preparation of his morning coffee. In your opinion, it wasn’t the most romantic scene. Though Jadis hadn’t been on a date in a long while and so in her own words she was going to implode if she didn’t get a good fuck in soon. So who were you to judge.

The bell above the cafe door twinkled, ending the conversation about your book and pathetic love life. Your eyes travelled to the cafe entrance and stopped when they landed on the biggest male you had ever seen. The Illyrian walked through the door, having to duck his head and draw his wings in to fit through the much smaller frame. His presence in the cafe was enough for you to lift your head from where it was sat in your palm, interest peaked.

There was no doubt that this Illyrian was one of the most attractive males you have ever seen. His long brown hair was pulled back messily into a bun. You didn’t normally like the rough, slightly barbarian-esque type, typically preferring your males to be more clean-cut. It was clear this man didn’t look like most males. No, he looked as if he had just stepped out of one of your deliciously sinful smut books.

He began to approach the counter, his body taking up so much space that he bumped into tables, displacing the drinks of customers who were grasping at the mugs and glasses to try and prevent them from spilling at the earthquake caused by this ginormous man. He apologised to each of them as he moved but kept his eyes locked ahead. Locked on you.

Your friend, noticing the effect this man had on you, spun around and immediately started acting as if she was busy with another job, leaving you to serve him in your hypnotised state.

“Just a coffee please love” he said, pulling you from your stupor as he finally came to a stop at the counter. Mother, even his voice was hot. It was resonant and also bore the twinge of gruffness which left goosebumps on your arms in its wake. There was no doubt everything about this man oozed pure sex appeal. You were too mesmerised to move, brain not registering that he had asked you to do your job. Instead, like a besotted fool, you stayed stood behind your counter, feet rooted to the ground.

“You alright there gorgeous?” The unbelievably good looking male asked, roguishly handsome smile growing on his face, clearly aware of the effect he has on you. This spurred you to move, the stacked cups surrounding you rattling at your sudden movement. “Coffee! Right. Yes, of course!” Managing to squeak a few words out, you turned around to busy yourself with making the coffee, hatred in your eyes as you glared at Jadis who left you stranded making coffee for this very handsome man who’s looks alone were doing very strange things to you and making you think very indecent things. Jadis, undeterred by your glare, wiggled her eyebrows at you, grin stretched across her face, beaming from ear to ear.

With shaky hands, you finish up with making his coffee and without turning around, afraid you’d accidentally start professing your undying love to him if you did, you ask, “any sugar?”

His honey coated voice replies, “No thanks, I’ve already got my eye on something sweeter.” You ignored the sight of your friend’s head snapping speedily to look at you in glee. Heat burning across your cheeks, you turn back to face him, avoiding the man’s eyes.

Hands still shaking, you place the coffee in front of him and wait for him to pay. The sooner he leaves the sooner you can gossip with your Jadis about him and moan about your inability to act normal in front of incredibly attractive men. He pulls out the money from his pocket and places it on the counter, pushing it towards you, but before you can take it from him he drags it back in his direction, finger holding it in place. “How about you and I go out together sometime sweetheart? You’re obviously desperate to.”

At this, the lovesick fog that had been swimming in front of your eyes since this man had entered the cafe dissipated. Rose-tinted glasses off you noticed that the smile that adorned his face was more of a cocky smirk. His confidence and tone of voice told you that he asks this question a lot and most likely always gets the answer he desires. It was clear this man wasn’t the personification of one of your book males come to life. He was just another playboy.

Not wanting to just be another name on the list for this man, you slid the money out from under his hand, sickly sarcastic smile on your face, and said, “I think I’ll pass thanks sweetheart.”

The males smirk promptly fell from his face in shock, clearly not expecting, nor used to rejection. He sputtered out a few buts and whats, flirty demeanour forgotten, a slightly pathetic butt-hurt one taking its place. This was definitely a man not used to losing.

“Have a nice day!” You enthusiastically, and very satirically, finished this interaction before walking away to busy yourself with clearing some now empty tables in the cafe. Wings hung low in defeat, the man at the counter left the cafe, bell ringing as he exited. This surprised you, having expected him to put up a little more of a fight, but nonetheless you were glad that it was over with. Cursing yourself for falling for just another pretty face, standards forgotten.

“What?!” Your friend screamed running over to you, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you vigorously as if you had lost all senses. Unafraid of scaring off the customers who still sat in the cafe, some clearly entertained by the whole event which had transpired. “Do you know who that was? Oh Y/N he was totally into you! Why did you say no?”

“Because he was looking at me as if I was a piece of meat! And no, I have no idea who he was and unlike you I don’t go jumping on every stranger who asks me out at work” You brushed Jadis off of you and started taking the dirty glasses back behind the counter to be washed, your friend hot on your heels not wanting to finish this conversation just yet.

“That was Cassian!” She continued, expression as if it should have been obvious to you who the Illyrian male was. “Good for him” you replied, no idea why it should matter to you who he was, clearly if Jadis and the few interested by standers in the cafe knew who he was he had quite the reputation in Velaris. Surely that mustn’t be a good thing.

“Cassian? Lord of bloodshed? General and Commander of the Night Court’s army?” She continued, seriously not convinced you could have absolutely no idea about him.

You snorted, “I’m sorry, no one actually has that many titles unless they’re from a book… or if they just have a very large ego”.

Jadis groaned, hands fisting her hair in exasperation, “Y/N he’s like totally hot and totally loaded and super important! And he was so checking you out!” You could tell all this was upsetting your friend who was most definitely hoping you were about to get some much needed action, but all you could do was shrug, “I’m sorry babe but I’m a romantic, it’s going to take more than pet names and a stupidly attractive face to gain my interest.”

Giving up, Jadis dropped her hands from her head in acceptance, disappointment clear on her face, “I know, but don’t come running back to me to complain how unsatisfied you are when that Illyrian god was basically throwing himself at you.”

After the topic of the male was dropped, your day continued as normal, whilst Jadis had promised not to bring it up again but you couldn’t help but notice the angry glances your friend kept throwing your way during the last few hours of your shift, distressed that you had let a man go who had seemed perfectly acceptable in her opinion.

At the end of your shift, in an attempt to get her to understand where you were coming from, you slid your book towards her, “Here. Read it and then maybe you’ll understand what I mean.” She picked it up, looking at the cover eyes bulging at the title, “Bound in chains? Really?”

“Trust me, sit down with a large glass of wine and read it. You’re going to love it!”

With that the two of you locked up the cafe, book secure in Jadis’s bag. You said your goodbyes at the door and headed your seperate ways, all thoughts of the handsome man from earlier in the day long gone. Upon your arrival at home, you wandered to your favourite room in the house, your library, wanting to select a new read to cosy up with for the evening.

Approaching your shelf that you reserved exclusively for books you had bought but had yet to read, you pulled one out by its spine, eyes glancing over the cover. The cover which bore the image of a large, well-muscled man, whose long brown hair flowed freely over his shoulders. Eyes blowing wide and blush returning to your cheeks you shoved the book back onto the shelf. Thoughts drifting back to the Illyrian with the same looks who had been flirting with you earlier. Maybe you’d be better off reading a safe fantasy book tonight. Or better yet a book that had no man in at all, although that would be a rare find in your library.

~~~~~

“I am a changed women”

Returning to work the next day, you were greeted by Jadis smiling, bouncing up and down on her feet, and holding your book in her hands.

“I take it you liked it then?”

“Liked it?”Jadis squealed, “it was like reading pure porn. I loved it”

You laughed along side her, of course Jadis would read an entire book and focus on the porn rather than the actual plot of it.

“Truly I did,” she continued, rushing about and gathering her things, “and I would love to stay behind now my shift has finished to talk about it but I have to go home and get ready for Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome, maybe tonight I can try out some of those moves I read about!” She winked at you, handing over your book before rushing out of the cafe with an excitable “Wish me luck!”

Work had been very quiet today, allowing you time to sit and read your newest book. After finishing a simple fantasy last night you were left unsatisfied by the lack of enjoyment it provided when it came to the physical romance. Needing more, you had selected one of the filthiest books you could find.

Engrossed in the pages, plot thickening by the minute, you were absorbed into the book. Only to be broken from its spell when the familiar chime rang of the bell rang out, signalling a customer had arrived. Rushing to finish the page before they reached the counter, your eyes flew over the words before you finally reached the end of the page. Enabling you to look up from behind your book only to see Cassian standing before you, lips formed into a cautious smile. As if unsure of how you’d react to his presence after yesterday.

“Coffee?” You ask, eyebrows raised, placing your book down before standing up from the stool you were sat on behind the counter.

“Please if you don’t mind, but don’t let me stop you from finishing ‘Fated Frenzy’… cauldron do women really read books like this?” Cassian exclaimed, picking up your book and flicking through the pages, holding it out of reach so you couldn’t snatch it back.

Clenching your fists together as you glared at him you replied, “well if only men knew how to actually please a woman then we wouldn’t have to.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right man then,” Cassian mumbled, focus still on the book that was dwarfed in his large hands. He must have reached a particularly risqué part as his eyes widened slightly, tongue peaking out from between his lips. Now as he spoke, reading from your book, he wore a large grin, “I mean not every man has a cock that looks as if it was sculpted by the gods themselves.”

You scowled, now managing to take hold of the book grasped in one of his large hands and snatched it back. “I’ve certainly never met a man like that” you replied as you slammed your book back onto the counter and moved off to make his coffee so he could leave you to read in peace.

“Don’t want to check sweetheart?” He teased from behind your back, clearly trying to get you as flustered as he had managed to yesterday. Pleased at your banter. Not wanting to give him what he wants, and definitely not wanting to turn around to see his stupidly handsome smirking face looking back at you, you replied from over your shoulder while you were busy finishing his drink, “it doesn’t take a fool to know the spymaster has a larger wingspan. Now his I’d like to see.”

You heard the catch of his breath, causing him to choke on air at what you had said, clearly not expecting your confident retort, and not saying anything at the discovery you do indeed know who he is all thanks to Jadis. Cheeks stretching into a grin of your own at his embarrassment, you turn and place his drink in front of him. Unlike yesterday, Cassian didn’t even attempt to reach for his money before asking, “Please, let me take you out somewhere nice”.

Your smile dropped, head shaking slowly, “What classes as nice in your books? Other than a quick fuck behind the back of the building.” This comment made Cassian’s eyebrows knit together, not happy with the impression you had of him. “What will it take for you to understand I’m serious? That I want to take you on a date to get to know you.” He sounded earnest you’d give him that.

“I don’t know ok! I just know that I’m not going to say yes to a man I don’t even know who asked me out while I was just doing my job.”

He stretched out his hand, trying to meet yours which was resting on the counter but you pulled away before any contact could be made. “I want to get to know you, if you’ll let me. Likes, dislikes, good bits, bad bits, everything.”

“I- I don’t know Cassian, I just don’t think this is going to work.”

“What will it take?” He begged, eyes desperate.

“For you to be like one of them” you said, nodding your head towards your book.

“An overly sexual alpha male?” He said, confused as to what you were actually referring to. This made a small laugh escape from your lips, “No that’s just a bonus. I’m sorry Cassian, I just dream about being swept of my feet by a man that acts like one of them. Romantic, sweet, not asking out every other woman they see.”

“I can be romantic” Cassian said defensively, “I can be incredibly romantic”

Wanting to get this interaction over with you decided just to agree with him. “I’m sure you can Cassian, no doubt there’s a very lucky woman waiting for you somewhere”.

You weren’t sure it was possible for his brows to furrow any more than they already were, “I’ll prove it to you. Prove that I’m all in on this. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and I’m not going to let you go that easily.” Determined look plastered on his face Cassian grabbed his coffee and walked towards the door pulling the it open, bell chiming, and before he stepped outside he called back to you, “I’ll see you soon gorgeous, you better be ready for me” and with that Cassian left, the cafe silent apart from the bell still ringing, the sound helping you realise that Cassian was real and that interaction did actually happen.

It was only five minutes later, when your wild thoughts were tamed by another customer entering did you realise that Cassian never even paid for his drink.

~~~~~

“Y/N!” Cassian shouted bustling through the tables to reach you as he entered your work once more. Shock flooded your system, he had learnt your name from when you last spoke to him two days ago. After causing a ruckus, and spilling many drinks onto poor unsuspecting customers laps, he reached the counter where you were stood waiting for him.

“What are you-“ you started angrily, worried he would scare away valued customers. Though you were interrupted by Cassian whose arm, which was hiding behind his back, shot out revealing the largest bouquet of flowers you’ve ever seen.

He held them out expectantly, waiting for you to take them but your suprise had you rooted to the spot. Familiar with your freezing by now, Cassian impatiently shook the bouquet in your face, movement bringing your thoughts back to the present. Still not taking them, not quite believing something so beautiful could be gifted to you, you spoke, “They’re lovely Cassian but you just cut right in front of Matilda who was here first!” Cassian’s features faltered as he dropped the bouquet in disappointment.

Matilda , the lovely little old fae who frequented your cafe, leaned around Cassian’s broad figure so she could see you, “it’s alright Y/N! Take the damn flowers and talk to the man!”

Cassian thanked the older women and stuck out the flowers once more. “For you,” he said encouragingly, willing you to accept the gift, “I told you I’d prove myself to you. I’m here for a date.” By this point you had been stood there for a ridiculous time causing your Jadis to stretch her arm past you and grab the flowers smirking as she says, “Thank you Cassian, they’re beautiful, Y/N loves them. Lillies are her favourite, how did you know?” Winking as she walked off with the bouquet it was clear Cassian has been getting some insider information from the mouth of your best friend.

The Illyrian nodded his head at your friend gratefully and you finally rediscovered the ability to speak, “Thank you, but if you’re here for a date I’m sorry I can’t help you, this is my work Cas, I have to do my job.”

“Pfft bit presumptuous I’m here for a date with you”

At that your face fell slightly before you quickly returned you expression to normal, not wanting Cassian to know his words had an effect on you. Surely he wouldn’t bring you flowers just to have a date with another woman in your workplace. Was this some twisted way to try and make you jealous?

Flirty expression on his face Cassian adjusted where he was stood and flung his arm around Matilda who began to blush, “Have to find out everything I can about you from my beautiful date Matilda here! One coffee for me and one of whatever my darling date would like” he said, making Matilda giggle before asking for her usual. Relief flooding you body, your lips twitched and you began to make their order, “my, my, Matilda. I have to say I expected better in your taste of men”.

“Woah woah no need to tell her,” Cassian joked, “don’t want this hot commodity to leave me for something better” he finished, winking at Morgana who looked as happy as if it was Solstice morning. Grabbing the finished drinks you had placed before him, he headed to a table, coming back once the drinks were down to walk Matilda to her chair, but not before placing his money on the counter, saying, “Moneys there for the other day by the way, I’ll speak to you later.”

Cassian must have sat talking with Matilda for hours, watched closely by you from the corner of your eye as you worked, customer after customer coming and going. Finally when the rush had died down and your shift was coming to an end, the two who had been huddled together gossiping over more than a few coffees, hot chocolates and cakes stood to take their leave. Or more accurately, Matilda was taking her leave. Cassian had said his goodbyes bending down to give Matilda a big hug and then scooped their empty plates and cups into his arms before walking towards you.

There wasn’t enough time for him to place the items down on the counter before you watched as Matilda lay a firm smack to his backside before giggling, “I’ll see you later hot stuff.” Lucky not to break any cups, Cassian jumped, flying forwards and dropping them all onto the counter before you, eyes terrified.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, placing the cups the right way up before checking on the male, “you alright there hot stuff?”

“Oh don’t even start. That woman’s got one strong slap” he whined, hand rubbing his ass to relieve some of the pain.

“Don’t act like that’s not how all your dates end” you goaded, cheeks twinging at the effort to stop yourself from bursting out laughing.

“Trust me gorgeous, if any of my actual dates ended like that I wouldn’t be complaining” he winked at you, all the while pulling a napkin out of its holder to help you clean his mess from the counter.

As you watched him clean, you couldn’t help but admire the way his brows slightly furrow when he’s concentration, noting the way his focused mouth tilts to once side, tongue slightly poking from between his lips. He was handsome there was no denying it.

“Will you walk me home?” You blurted, snapping your mouth shut and internally cursing yourself for asking such a ridiculous thing, digging yourself into an even deeper hole you continued, “it’s only that the flowers you got me are so big… and I have all my other things…and…uh..”

“Y/N, I would love to walk you home”

“Great! I’ll just um, go and grab my stuff”

You turned, heading towards the cloakroom, only to be met by Jadis, bag and bouquet in hand. She shoved them eagerly into your arms squealing, “go get him girl!” Hands pressed against your back, she forced you to move forwards until you were in front of Cassian, “don’t have too much fun you two” she said now guiding you both from the cafe, tripping and stumbling over each others feet as Jadis’s excitement led to some very firm shoving.

~~~~~

Once outside in one piece, no thanks to Jadis, Cassian plucked the flowers from your arms allowing you to swing the strap of your book-filled bag over your shoulders. Timidness now overcame you, what were you supposed to say to him now? Had asking him to walk you home seemed too desperate?

“So what are you reading now? Not another book about a poor sexually frustrated female?” He asked, breaking your panicked thoughts as he walked side by side with you.

“No sex this time,” you giggled lightly, “this one’s about a man who sacrificed his kingdom for his true love”

“You really like that stuff huh?” Cassian spoke softly to you, he sounded like he was truly interested in finding out exactly how your brain worked, “that true love and romantic gestures shit?”

“It’s not shit” you defended, “sometimes it helps me not feel so alone. Reading about all these grand gestures and things people do for the ones they love.”

Cassian cleared his throat awkardly, his hand which was not holding the flowers moving up to scratch at his head, “and you’re into that? Romantic gestures?”

“It’s hard not to be. Pretty sure it’s every girls dream to be swept of their feet and fall as deeply as characters do in books.” Cassian was nodding along to what you were saying but his eyes showed he was lost in thought. It was your turn to draw him from his head, “you never done anything romantic for your ladies Cas?”

His name on your lips seemed to work, the clouds of thought in his eyes fading as he turned his gaze from the road ahead to you, “I guess I’ve normally always thought that just me is enough”. He didn’t say this to be cocky or narcissistic, you could tell. You didn’t mean to make him feel shame over the situation, you had been genuinely curious. Perhaps a little jealous at the thought of Cassian putting in just as much work into chasing other women as he has been with you.

“That’s ok. I think romance is more reserved for the pages of books these days than in actual reality”

Not a fan of where this conversation had turned to Cassian did his best to lift the mood, “I’m not surprised you think that if all your books were like that one I caught you reading. Heck where are you meant to find a overprotective god of war with who hates everyone but the lowly daughter of an inventor and they go on to have insane - and totally not physically possible by the way- sex!”

You scrunched your face, “Cassian there’s no way you were able to get all that from one page…Oh cauldron! You read the book! You read Fatal Frenzy!”

As if only now realising what he said to you, a flustered Cassian tried to provide you with lame excuses as to how he knew that information until it was clear you weren’t going to let it go. After about five minutes of listening to your constant prodding, poking and teasing as you walked, Cassian caved, “Fine! Fine, I read it ok. I was curious as to how he was going to put his god level cock to use!”

By this point you were full on cackling, having to stop your walking to put a hand on your stomach at the thought of this mountain of a man sitting down to read a devilishly smutty book. “I have to say”, you gasped out in-between giggles, “I’m surprised you can even read”.

Cassian acted out the most overdramatic reaction to your words, his hands flew to his heart, bouquet still in his grasp, and released loud, exaggerated noises of pain and cries of just how horrible you were. People had began to stop in the street, wondering why the Lord of Bloodshed was acting as though he had just been shot. Rolling your eyes and wanting the attention off the two of you, you elbowed his side prompting him to stop, “careful you’ll crush my flowers if you die any wilder.”

Charming grin of his face, Cassian looked down at you, “we wouldn’t want that would we? Not when a super hot guy went through the effort of finding out your favourite flowers for you.”

“You’re crazy” you said in dismissal, continuing to walk in the direction of your home.

“Your kind of crazy?” A hopeful tone in Cassian’s voice.

“I haven’t quite decided yet” you said honestly. You couldn’t deny that Cassian was already proving himself to you more than any man has. No one had ever bought you flowers before and no male had ever attempted to read a book you were reading for your attention.

“Well you just let me know when you do” Even the way Cassian looked at you made you melt.

“You’ll be the first” gentle smile on your face. Nerves building in you once more as you thought about what going further with the man next you you would entail.

Content to let you walk lost in your thoughts, Cassian didn’t try to force any conversation. A natural peace fell between the two of you, the silence not an awkward one. It wasn’t until you neared the outside of your house that you broke the silence, “Well, this is me”.

Nodding Cassian passed you the bouquet. For the first time you looked at the flowers and really admired them, admired the fact this man had gone out his way to go to your friend and make sure he got your favourite ones.

“Thank you Cassian,” you said, laying a kiss onto his stubbled cheek, “they’re beautiful.”

Cassian’s usual confidence gone, it was his turn to blush. Shyly, he tried his luck again, “so about that date?”

You walked over to your door, pulling out your key, turning back to Cassian, twinkle in your eyes, you said, “ask me again tomorrow”.

“That wasn’t a no!” He said, confidence rushing back into him. As you entered your house and peaked through the window behind your curtains you couldn’t help but watch Cassian, beam on his face, as he jumped on the spot. A small celebration that you hadn’t fully rejected him once more. A matching grin on your face as you observed him, you stayed watching until he took off from the ground, large angelic wings spread, wondering what in Prythian was this man doing to you and what sinful things you’d like to do with those wings.

~~~~~

You were sorely disappointed over the course of the next week. Since that evening Cassian had walked you home to the cafe he had not returned. Jadis tried to keep your thoughts positive, saying he was probably away on important Night Court business, being the General of its army and all. After being the one to speak to Cassian about you she was adamant that he was undoubtedly in love with you and he wouldn’t leave you hanging.

It was hard though, when the eighth day of his absence rolled round, not to think that he had found someone more interesting to pursue. Someone who didn’t make him work as hard for their affections. Your mood was so glum that you didn’t even have the heart to read. Why read about love when you’re not sure you believe in it anymore?

You had spent days wondering what you had done wrong. Had you been too forward? Or did he find your obsession with males that weren’t real a little too bizarre? You did your best not to dwell on it but it was so hard not to, the flowers you had placed in a vase on the side table in your library, right next to your reading chair, still flourished beautifully, a constant reminder of the man who crashed into your life only to leave it in shambles.

So here you were, sat on the stool in the cafe, your thoughts being the only thing to keep you busy due to your sudden lack of interest in reading. It had been another quiet day, but it wasn’t long now until Jadis would arrive, you had opened the cafe for her after she asked for a favour so she could spend the night at Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome’s, who’s name you had learnt was Arthur. Happy that even if your love life was crumbling, at least Jadis’s was blooming. However, you were thankful you weren’t actually supposed to be working today, not sure if you could survive another shift listening to her unintentionally boast about how perfect Arthur was and how good he is at sex.

So you sat there and waited for her arrival, desperate to go home and crawl into your bed. Without your typical reading to do, you found yourself spending most of your free time sleeping, wasting away the hours you didn’t know what to do with yourself in.

It was finally an hour after the time she had promised to be in for, when Jadis flew into the cafe, bell ringing aggressively at her sudden entrance. Running to where you were at the counter, coat and bags in hand, she was profusely apologising over and over for her tardiness.

“You must have had a good night with Mr Handsome” you teased, trying not to let your slight annoyance at you still being here show. Confusion flashed across her face before she quickly corrected it in realisation, “Oh yeah! Totally great sex, every woman’s dream. Hugeeee dick.”

Opening your mouth, ready to ask her about her odd behaviour, she pulled you from your stool before you could talk. Dragging you out from behind the work area, saying “Come on Y/N it’s your day off, don’t want to be here any longer than you have to be!”

Now you defiantly knew something was off, Jadis typically keeping you an hour in-between shifts to catch you up on everything that has happened since the day before. “Jadis, what’s going on?” You asked cautiously, had something happened between her and Arthur? No. Jadis would definitely tell you if that was the case, or maybe she just didn’t want to make you any more depressed than you already were. Still in that strange tone of voice, Jadis kept pushing you to leave, “Nothings wrong! I’m fine. Now leave, you still have the whole day to do something, go read one of your smut books!”

This confirmed she was definitely hiding something, knowing that you haven’t picked up a book for the past week after listening to your incessant complaining about the matter. If you weren’t so desperate to leave and go rot in bed for the rest of the day you would have stayed and forced whatever it is she was hiding out of her. You decided that was tomorrow’s job, when you had a nice six hour shift together where she couldn’t avoid your pestering.

Shrugging on your coat and promising to yourself you’d find out what she was dodging tomorrow, you left the cafe. Turning your head around to look back through the windows only to be met with Jadis and her crazed eyes watching, as if making sure you were walking in the direction of your house. Unsettled, you followed the streets leading home, praying to the Mother that your friend was alright and you weren’t about to have to kill a man for upsetting her.

Finally, you arrived at your door, turning the key in the lock you were startled to discover the door was already unlocked. You were exhausted when you left that morning but you could have sworn you weren’t so tired that you’d risk your property and your safety like that.

Fear now coursing through your veins, you quietly pushed your door open, scared you would alert anyone in your house that you were there and something bad would ensue. The fae lights in your hallway were all lit, softly casting a warm glow over your home. You stepped inside, and instead of your foot meeting the usual plush of your carpet it was met with a slight crunch.

Casting your eyes to the ground you gasped. There were hundreds of rose petals scattered across your floor, leading towards each of your rooms. Following the trail, you made it through to the entrance of your living room, if your jaw dropped any lower you were sure it’d hit the floor.

The entire room looked as if it had been covered in a red blanket, a sea of roses covering the entirety of your room to the point where you couldn’t actually see anything that wasn’t a deep shade of red.

By this point your heart was pounding in your chest and you were sure you could feel your eyes watering, the hundreds of roses placed around you getting blurrier and blurrier. But there was no sign of the man you were sure had placed them.

Turning around you sped into each of your rooms, wanting nothing more than to find Cassian and throw your arms around him. Each room the same as the last, filled to the brim with the most beautiful roses. Lillies may once have been your favourite flowers but you think the kind-hearted man, who had wormed his way into your heart, may have just changed your mind. Roses were perfect.

Still no Illyrian insight you flung open the door to your library. Room decorated just as over the top as the others. And there in the centre of it all, sat waiting for you to return home, is Cassian. He stood quickly, treading on some of the flowers placed by his feet.

“How?” You asked, voice cracking as you tried to hold the tears at bay.

“It wasn’t easy, Jadis let me in.” Cassian said lightheartedly from where he stood across the room, too far from you for your liking, “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. I wanted to do this the day after we last spoke but I guess I didn’t actually think about the logistics of getting thousands of roses delivered.”

You stayed silent, heart overwhelmingly filled with love for the man before you, the man who had spent the past week getting a thousand roses just to ask you on a date. Taking your silence for something bad, Cassian began to ramble, “My brother Azriel - the spymaster - he helped too…I wanted to make sure it’d be done in time. It’s a mess I get it, I’m sorry, I’ll clear it all out for you I just-“

You cut him off, tears now flowing freely down your red hot cheeks, hands trembling, “it’s perfect Cassian. Nobody…nobody has ever done anything like this for me” At the sign of your tears Cassian made to make his way towards you but was stopped by the fact he just didn’t know where to place his foot without ruining all his hard work.

“Clearly I didn’t think this through very well” he mumbled, arms out to keep him balanced and preventing him from falling. Not wanting to spend a minute more away from him after having to suffer through a whole week, you ran, roses be damned right into his arms. Throwing yourself at his muscled body as he caught you, pulling you close to his chest in midair.

“You’re crazy!” you exclaimed, head tucked into his neck as you rested it on his shoulder.

Cassian placed you down gently, arms still wrapped tightly around your waist but he wanted to look into your eyes for this, “your kind of crazy?” His eyes held that same hopeful desperation that they had when he last asked you out.

“Hell yeah” and with that you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and connected his lips to yours.

The kiss was like nothing you had ever read before in one of your books. It was everything and more. A fire ignited within you, burning hotter and hotter and you just kept needing more. Cassian the fuel to your fire and you were sure that as long as you had him with you it was a flame that would never die out.

It was a messy clash of teeth and tongues, both of you uncaring of how sloppily and uncoordinated were kissing. All you knew was you needed each other like the pages of a book needed ink. You kissed and you kissed, hands wandering until you weren’t sure which parts belonged to Cassian and which to yourself.

The need to breathe forgotten, you continued. Hands running over his back which was rippled in muscles before reaching around his neck, holding onto him tightly as he picked you up once more.

It was only when the need for air was so overwhelming that you had no other option to pull away that you did. Heads pressed together, lips still slightly touching, a trail of saliva linking the two of you together. Cassian continued to hold you in his arms as if you were nothing but a feather, catching his breath he finally began to speak, “So about that date then?”

You giggled, pulling him even closer to you by his neck and laying a soft peck on his lips before drawing away to give your answer, Cassian’s mouth chasing after yours, “If this is how you ask me, I can’t wait to see what you have planned for our first date. Hopefully you don’t ignore me for a month whilst you prepare.”

Barking out a laugh Cassian placed you on the floor of roses, holding your hands to ensure you didn’t stumble. He looked around the room, proud smile adorning his face, he first took in the roses which he had took so long in prepping, screaming at Azriel when he hadn’t placed them down as he had pictured in his head. His gaze then swept your shelves, hundreds of books upon them.

“Ever read about this in one of your books?”

“Nope this is definitely a first”

His eyes landed on the book resting on your table, right next to the vase full of lilies he had originally given you, title in gold lettering along the front of the cover. Fated Frenzy. The book he had read because of you. You laughed as you spotted what he was staring at, his eyes travelling back to you, running up your body with hunger before finally settling on your eyes.

“You into roleplay gorgeous?”

With those words he smashed his lips back onto yours. The promise of an exciting night ahead.

Here, standing in your library entwined with the Illyrian you decided all those characters you have read about were lacking in one thing you never even knew you needed.

They weren’t Cassian.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes: You have no idea how much I wanted to finish this fic with “And so Cassian did” lol

Happy Valentines <3

[archangeldyke-all]

Weird AU idea I had randomly:

What if reader and Sevika were like..co-stars on an adult romcom or romantic drama as the two leads? They spend a lot of time together on set and some of their scenes get a little heated (they ofc have a dedicated intimacy coordinator to help). And things just...lead to another off set.

OR

What if Reader is the intimacy coordinator responsible for helping Sevika and her co-stars feel comfortable and they just....hit it off, off-set or after shooting ends. Everyone ofc remains professional on the job, but ya know...not unheard of for folks to start dating after working together 😏

LOVEEE

men and minors dni

seeing people in various states of nakedness is literally your job.

it's vital that you remain professional and responsible while you're working-- both on and off set. you need to be an advocate for healthy boundaries and responsible film-making, there's no space for you to be flustered or uncomfortable or god forbid, turned on.

and usually you're incredibly good at it.

whether it's men or women, whether you find them attractive or not-- you keep your cool and keep it responsible no matter what.

but this is sevika.

sevika, whose interviews you watch before bed-- just to hear the lovely timbre of her voice.

sevika, who has been your celebrity crush for years.

sevika, who's filming her first ever intimate scene, and has no idea how it works.

you find out who you're going to be working with a week before, and you spend the entire week in denial, confident that if you ignore it, you won't freak out about it.

but then you meet her.

she's even more attractive in real life, sleepy from the early morning call-time, hair a little messy and eyes a little droopy, make up free and cuddled up in a white robe. it's like seeing an angel.

the second you introduce yourself to her, closing the door to her trailer behind her, sevika drops her white robe and puts her hands on her hips. when you turn back around, you get an eyeful of a completely naked, completely unbothered sevika. you nearly pass out.

"uh." you say eloquently. sevika blinks at you.

"you're the intimacy coordinator right?" she asks. you gulp, ripping your eyes away from her body to stare at the ceiling.

"y-yes. you don't have to... i mean, you can put your robe back on." you say. "it's just-- we're just talking today." you choke out.

sevika snorts, laughing at herself as she pulls her robe back on. you try to catch your breath as she casually pulls the belt tight and flops onto the couch behind her.

so, it's a rocky start.

and no, you don't jerk off to the image of a naked sevika that's been burned into your frontal lobe when you get home.

that would be completely unprofessional.

(okay, yes you do. three times.)

sevika's charming and funny and down to earth in a way a lot of the celebrities you work with never are. she's got the prettiest smile you've ever seen, and she asks you about your life and listens to your answers, and your crush only gets worse and worse as the days tick by.

you and sevika spend several lunches going over her own personal boundaries.

she's filming a scene with a man, which makes her cringe and stick her tongue out as she says it. (you have to keep yourself from squealing at the confirmation of her very publicly debated lesbianism.) she's not totally uncomfortable with it-- it's her job-- but she 'would like to keep it pg-13' where she can.

she's comfortable with nudity-- she obviously knows how good she looks-- but you explain to her that in scenes beyond the full frontal, she'll be wearing some coverings just to keep everyone comfortable.

she's fascinated by your job, constantly lobbing you with questions.

'what other movies have you worked on?'

'do pornos have intimacy coordinators?'

and then, inevitably, 'who's the hottest celebrity you've ever seen naked?'

this makes you choke on your spit. sevika raises an eyebrow at you as you hack up a lung, and when you finally catch your breath she grins. "me?" she guesses. you just huff and flip her off.

it's amazing watching her act-- she's insanely talented. she's funny too, just naturally, off the top of her head, always spitting out improvised lines that make you and the entire crew laugh. she's also a huge fucking flirt.

she's respectful of all the boundaries you outlined for her on set. always covered unless she's filming, talking frequently with her co-star about the script, triple checking before they film that they both agree with the direction they're taking their sex scenes. but that doesn't stop her from trying to get a rise out of you.

she claims she has no idea how to work the nipple pasties-- insists you do it for her. you've done it for plenty of clients-- sometimes the adhesives or angles can be tricky-- but you know she's just doing it to get you to touch her tits. it's in the way she smirks each time she asks, the way her eyes sparkle as she watches you nervously, shakily press the tape to her flesh, trying to avoid touching her skin at all costs.

she's insisted on taking all her lunches with you once she finds out that you tend to eat alone in your car. she'll tag along with you in the passenger side of your car, teasing you and fiddling with your radio and ducking in her seat when you pass by herds of paparazzi, as you drive the two of you to taco bell. she always pays-- 'i'm the superstar, you're driving a camry-- no offense.'

and she's always touching you.

never inappropriately, never without your permission-- but she's always got her hands on you in some way.

playing with a strand of your hair as you check in with her between takes. wrapping an arm around your shoulders when the two of you walk to your car. fiddling with your fingers in the back of a bus as the two of you and a few crew members ride to a local bar for drinks. each time, you stutter and stumble over your words, biting your cheek and awkwardly avoiding her eyes as she grins at you. she knows what she's doing. she loves it.

you assume you're just a pillow fluffer of sorts for her. just someone for her to flirt with between scenes-- a place for her to put all the residual emotions that filming a rom-com requires. it's happened before-- occasionally clients will need a bit of intimacy outside of the shoot to keep their romantic mood going all day-- and you're happy to receive a few flirty compliments and lingering glances in order to keep your clients happy.

when filming wraps, you assume that you'll never see sevika again.

you say goodbye to her with a hug in her trailer, wishing her luck in her career and hoping that maybe you'll have the pleasure to work with her again in the future. when you pull away, sevika's looking at you with a furrow in her brow.

"what?" you ask.

sevika bites her lip, and for the first time since you've met, she looks... shy.

"nevermind. 's stupid." she says.

you scoff. "sevika, i custom dye thongs to match various skin tones for a living-- i'm used to stupid." you say. she huffs.

"do you... i mean-- how familiar are you with the dating policies on set?"

"uh... not super? i can put you in contact with debbie from HR if you--"

"no nevermind. it's dumb."

you laugh. "having a crush on someone isn't dumb. you should go for it! filming's wrapped, so i doubt there's any hoops you'd need to jump through."

sevika bites her cheek. "i don't know if she'd be into me." she whispers, still not looking at you. you bark a laugh, and sevika's eyes dart up to look at you.

"don't be ridiculous." you say. "you're a fucking a-list actress, i know you know how hot you are, she'd be a fucking idiot not to be!"

"but it's... it's kinda been her job for the past few months to flirt with me."

"what?" you ask.

sevika's co-star is a man-- and he should be the only person flirting with sevika on set.

"i dunno. she's gotta touch me and talk to me and make me comfortable all day-- i don't know if she'd be doing that if it wasn't her job."

"sevika, who's been touching you? nobody's supposed to touch you." you say, anger bubbling up in your stomach.

it's your job to protect her from this happening, and you're starting to panic as you think about all the ways you might've failed her.

sevika huffs a laugh, and you blink at her. "it's not funny, sev, it's serious-- your boundaries--"

"it's you." she says. you blink. "i... it's okay if you... i mean it's basically your job to, like, take care of me, so it's cool if you don't--"

"me?!" you ask, cutting her off. sevika shrugs. "a-are you fucking with me?" you ask. sevika blinks.

"no?" she guesses.

"so this isn't some kind of prank ran put you up to because i told them you've been my celebrity crush since your first movie?" you ask. sevika's worried expression melts, a smug, self-satisfied smile taking its place.

"no." she says again. you sigh.

"o-oh." you say.

"so..." sevika starts. "i know you're all about boundaries and consent and stuff-- do i have to ask before i kiss you or...?" she trails off. you giggle, a little giddy as the reality of the situation sinks in.

"yeah. you have to wear that thong and the pasties to bed with me too." you tease. sevika laughs.

"damn, that's horrible. i'm not gonna be able to do any of the things i wanted to--"

you cut her off with a kiss.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby

[goodqueenaly]

Revisiting Catelyn's chapter, and I've been finding the way that she reflects on her childhood in Riverrun (and while *at* Riverrun, watching over her dying father) rather interesting, in particular her relationship with Brandon. When Jaime speaks to her about his death, and she begins to tell him of how Brandon was on his way to Riverrun when he heard about Lyanna, she notes that "telling it still made her throat grow tight, after all these years." And later, after Jeyne comes to her for advice, we have this passage -- “Tell me what I should do. Catelyn might have asked the same, if her father had been well enough to ask. But Lord Hoster was gone, or near enough. Her Ned as well. Bran and Rickon too, and Mother, and Brandon so long ago. Only Robb remained to her, Robb and the fading hope of her daughters” -- where she counts Brandon as one of the people lost to her, along her mother, and children, and Ned.

What level of depth of feeling, of emotion do you think there was between Brandon and Catelyn during their betrothal (speaking from Catelyn's end of things)? I find these passages a bit curious and they seem to hint to me love, though her POVs also don't quite give us glimpses of any sort of emotional or physical intimacy between them (by physical I mean even something at the level of the kissing games she played with Lysa and Petyr)?

Thank you for taking the time to share your insights with us!

Catelyn was betrothed to Brandon for around five or six years during a significant portion of her young life. As the dutiful daughter of a House whose devotion to duty is literally reflected in its dynastic motto, Catelyn was raised even at 12 to “[thank] him [i.e. her father Hoster] for making her such a splendid match” when this betrothal occurred. While I doubt Catelyn and Brandon met very frequently during their betrothal period, his apparent companionship with Jeffory Mallister may suggest that Brandon traveled in the Riverlands in the years before his death, and consequently spent some time with his fiancée during this time; I doubt Brandon and Catelyn would have been left unchaperoned or allowed to engage in any remotely indecorous conduct, to be sure but these may have been opportunities for the two of them to exchange some courtly pleasantries. Brandon was also personally good-looking, wild in both rage and mirth in a way the young Catelyn clearly found attractive. 

Given all that, I’m not surprised that Catelyn would have developed some level of romantic feelings toward Brandon, and would have held onto those feelings for the rest of her life. Brandon had been her politico-dynastic destiny from the age of 12 until roughly about the age of 17 or 18, a man she had been encouraged to love as her future lord husband. Moreover, to Catelyn, Brandon may have seemed quite the catch - the handsome, dashing young knight or de facto knight, heir to a great castle and title, who dueled in her name for the honor of her hand. With Brandon dying young and tragically from Aerys II’s tyranny, Catelyn never had the chance to become disillusioned with Brandon’s infidelity (and almost certainly never knew of his sexual relationship with Barbrey or his potential bastards), or to have to manage his emotionality day to day; Brandon could remain idealized in Catelyn's mind as her first fiancé and love. 

Which is not to say, of course, that Catelyn never loved Ned. If neither Catelyn nor Ned had been raised to anticipate marrying the other, both understood the politico-military necessity of doing so during Robert’s Rebellion; more importantly, each also came to understand, appreciate, and ultimately love the other on a deeply personal level. Catelyn might have always remembered Brandon, but Ned was "her Ned", her husband, "the man I loved, the father of my children".

[therulerofallpotatos]

Can we talk about Five who gets jealous? I mean, everyone can see it (4.06) and I love that 🫢

Five never had to share his wife with anyone ever. He was alone for decades with Delores and didn't like other people handling her in season one. He doesn't talk about her much either with the others. We see how he treats her though. How he acts with her. Five is soft and sweet and disgustingly romantic. He's that dopey old man at brunch who cannot stop making heart eyes at his wife of 50 years and smacks her ass for a greeting in that way that immediately makes her smile.

And he'll be so quick to violence if anyone disrespects her.

Then we have Lila. She's not like Delores. Delores was a piece of Five that he developed from his 13yo self's idea of a companion that evolved over the years as he changed. Think about some of the imaginary loves you may have played around with over the years. Or not necessarily loves. Imaginary friends or versions of yourself to put into situations as a kid. If you ever actually found yourself on a date with one (or equivalent) it'd be completely different. Lila is a full person. Not a coping mechanism or a fantasy. She's as messed up and lonely and complicated as Five is. She has her own shit and her own life and it's not inherintly tied to Five's. We see how Five went out of his way to give Delores friends and interests outside of him, but he still had to make those for her. He was still talking to himself.

Five for the most part didn't even recognize how much he was growing to care for Lila. There's a lot of bad blood between them and the fact that they're so similar deterred them as much as it brought them together. And with her pursuing Diego, even if Five recognized an attraction it wouldve been moot. With him not being able to trust her at all, he wasn't interested in giving her the time of day.

But they were family by the time we start season 4. That trust is long established. That care is familiar. They don't run off with the idea of an affair because they love Diego and have refused to recognize their romantic potential due to outside forces. Its just too late. Neither of them wanted to hurt Diego like that and they're both in denial anyways.

And then they were stranded in time for six years. They didn't just have each other now. They only had each other. Five has been down this road before. Lila knows that Five has been down this road before possibly more than anyone else in this show. He suddenly has Lila all to himself and its getting less and less likely they'll ever have anyone else. It's natural that things that were always possible did happen in those circumstances and once again, Five has a wife who he literally never had to share with anyone else in any way.

I don't think he'd ever consciously try to limit his partner's life due to his own jealousy, but it is not a skill he's ever had to learn. Add onto that all the tangled mess of Diego and Lila's marriage and Five not ever wanted to betray his brother like that...

And on top of it all, he's pushing 70 and he's tired and surrounded by world ending dysfunction again.

He is deeply in love with his brother's wife and has essentially been her husband for years too and nobody else even knows he's been gone that long and Diego is acting like nothing has changed and they're finally in a room with their family again and it's both everything Five wanted and everything that is tearing his life apart

And that doesn't even touch how Lila is visibly struggling as well.

[aromanticannibal]

mha characters that are aro for CANON reasons (read: in which I reach increasingly further for canon evidence):

(Disclaimer: some of these can be evidence of characters being something else than aro (or ace) but this is my post and I can do whatever I want + /hj to /j to everything on there, when I say I start reaching I start REACHING. These are headcanons!)

Aizawa Shouta doesn't ever show romantic (or sexual) interest in anyone and is actively put off by Ms Joke hitting on him and the idea of getting married to her

All Might has NO experience with women according to Horikoshi (could also mean he has experience with men but y'know)

Ashido Mina really wants to be in a relationship but never fell in love (cupioromantic moment)

Both Bakugou Katsuki and Todoroki Shouto hide from girls crushing on them near the end, don't ever show romantic interest in anyone or get anxious or flustered near girls, Katsuki especially apparently never cared about girls (and vice versa) before and and Shouto specifically doesn't notice when he's hit on.

Iida Tenya is never interested in girls or men and is significantly more focused on both his studies and his friendships

My favorite headcanon: Uraraka Ochako's love for Izuku seems founded more on her admiration and people telling her she must like him (because boy and girl etc) than in actual romantic love, and she connects a lot with Toga (who also loves people in a non-conventional way)

Midnight doesn't have a romantic partner or anyone she regularly flirts with despite being a very beautiful and desired woman, and doesn't seem to have had any kind of romantic relationship with the three boys more or less her age she hung out with a lot (the rooftop trio) (she can also be seen as a cliché of aroallo person who only cares about sex so I'm claiming her).

Pixie Bob's obsession with finding a partner is giving "I've been told all my life that I HAVE to get married and I don't want to so I keep looking for the perfect match and not finding it because the man I'm looking for doesn't exist because I won't ever fall in love". Because by god you can't tell me the cute blonde catgirl isn't finding a boyfriend.

All For One only cares about his brother, I'd even argue he's aromantic asexual aplatonic etc. a-everything except familial and idk. quirkic. attracted to quirks.

Mount Lady is aro for the same reason as Midnight but because I think it's implied or canon that she's dating Kamui Woods, she's lower.

Midoriya Izuku is green so he's obviously aromantic and most of his flustered reactions to girls seem based more on shyness (and an obvious reaction to getting boobs shoved in his face) and sexual or aesthetic attraction than romantic attraction (he also has a very romcom view of what being boyfriend girlfriend is, ie. his reaction to Toga's confession)

Aoyama Yuuga's definition of love (according to his comment on Ochako being in love with Izuku because she was thinking "what would Deku-kun do?") is very weird and seems based more in things he was told or saw in fiction than feelings he would have felt himself.

Yoarashi Inasa is just so fucking weird with friendships and social cues he looks like he's trying to navigate the world while making absolutely sure NO ONE misinterprets him, which makes him both very aro and very autistic in my book

Kurogiri is literally a bunch of mist with little free will whose purpose in life is protecting this one boy, he's all the As.

Endeavor married for insane reasons and never even cheated on Rei after he sent her to the hospital (which a lot of men his caliber would do)

Ms Joke makes the idea of dating Shouta a joke and I think that's great. She's also green.

Miruko's chill and doesn't give a fuck, she's a fighting person, very Katsuki-coded in that regard I fear. She also works alone without an agency, which is giving aromantic for no reason other than I Said So.

Toga Himiko is a queer allegory that is generally interpreted as bisexual and biromantic but I think she can be interpreted as aroallo as well (way to love that’s seen as impure and unholy etc etc, notions of consent – taking people’s blood and hurting them without their consent which is for her a way to show her love, most of her attraction seeming physical or aesthetic rather than romantic, her parents telling her to repress repress repress instead of satisfying her desires in a safe way, the scene where she’s biting her wrist in her sleep???? etc etc) 

Twice never had a lot of friends and never had a lot of female friends and when he feels gratefulness and care for Toga it outwardly seems romantic because he doesn’t know what’s romantic and what’s not and hasn’t had a lot of female friends 

Dabi is giving aromantic aplatonic who only really loves his family but due to circumstances can’t love them healthily and ends up just hating them (the most intense feelings of love he shows are always towards Enji or Natsuo, and his apology to Shouto makes me think Shouto is also included in this – no evidence for Fuyumi and Rei but I can do what I want. He clearly cares for Twice and Toga too but it presents very differently, even after he’s revealed himself and doesn’t need to be as secretive). 

Shigaraki Tomura probably just doesn’t give a shit I’d say. He’s pretty apathetic when he isn’t fighting or angry or like doing his hatred thing, but he clearly cares about his teammates. 

Fatgum is foodpilled and studentpilled. He really loves food and he really loves his students he doesn't need no romantic relationship.

Jirou Kyoka takes a bit to warm up to Denki so I think she's demiromantic actually

Bruce (the third user of One For All). He just has such third wheel vibes.

Intelli Saiko because why would she bother with romance, it's so unpractical and illogical

Despite asking for boys' numbers all the time and being very aware of romance, Utsushimi Camie looks like she could NOT CARE LESS. aro

The fact that Hawks plays up the flirting with his fans is giving aromantic to me – obviously heartbreaker aroallo stereotype but I think he could also be ace, the aroallo part isn’t that important, it’s just that he’s always pretending. It’s giving still in the closet. Also I know he’s young and busy and Horikoshi doesn’t really put that much casual romance in MHA but it’s so funny that there isn’t even a sliver of a girlfriend implied in his timeskip. Hawks is Married To His Job. 

Star and Stripe is also absolutely married to her job. Also, lots of guys around her, lots of important and admired male figures in her life, and yet not a single crush from her. Points. Aromantic lesbian 

Nezu is a fuckass mouse I highly doubt he's attracted to humans in any way

Gran Torino is a single old man which is enough for me (though because I hate that fucker I think it'd be funny if women just hated him)

Where Is Shimura Nana’s Husband. 

Muscular only likes to kill, he doesn’t need romance nor sex, his only desire is Killing People and fighting. Same thing for Moonfish, he only wants to eat people (mood my guy) 

Geten is very hyper focused on making his quirk stronger, he doesn’t seem to really have any relationships.

Overhaul just fucking hates people

Again, Kendo Rappa only cares about fighting.

So so sad because I like his girlfriend but Natsuo is giving marrying to get away from his father

Koda Koji just had the vibes. He's so aroace to me. (aro Koda brain vs kodajirou brain fight)

Monoma Neito is such a fucking hater he just has to be aromantic

Wash is a washing machine

Honorable mentions:

List of characters whose only argument is they never show romantic attraction and don't talk much about romance or get flustered: Shouji Mezo, Sato Rikido, Tokoyami Fumikage, Shinsou Hitoshi, Yaoyorozu Momo, Sero Hanta, Hado Nejire, Togata Mirio, Shirakumo Oboro, Present Mic, Seiji Shishikura, Ryukyu, Gang Orca, Shishido, Centipeder, Ectoplasm, Hound Dog, Thirteen, Vlad King, Mandalay, Tiger, Lady Nagant, Mr. Compress, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Todoroki Rei and Fuyumi, Melissa Shield.

List of characters whose only argument is "they're green so they're obviously aromantic": Asui Tsuyu, Ibara Shiozaki, Tokage Setsuna, Kamakiri Togaru, Midoriya Inko, Ragdoll, Burnin, the Sludge Villain (I’m taking all I can get), Mustard, Ordinary Woman.

Bonus: characters that I can't make aromantic no matter how hard I try under the cut:

Gentle and La Brava, for obvious reasons. I feel like making them not love each other is like illegal.

Kudo and Yoichi. By god my brain will not accept it they're in love.

Amajiki Tamaki. I'm sure he could be aromantic but I can't let go of the Mirio and Nejire crushes (which are so real and true to me)

Yuyu (Nejire's friend), she also looks way too much like she has a giant crush on Nejire. Lesbian moment.

Best Jeanist and Edgeshot, they're giving high school sweethearts.

I put them in honorable mentions but I just have to mention Gang Orca and Shishido somewhere because the one baseball OVA made me think they're like the pseudo-enemies/rivals who argue all the time but somehow fight extremely synchronized when needed and ONLY fight each other because they're the only ones Worth It etc which is. Y'know. eye emoji etc etc

Sir Nighteye is literally in love with All Might

David Shield is literally in love with All Might

No really did you see David's wife? This man went and found a blonde blue eyed wife when he couldn't marry his blonde blue eyed best friend. His daughter looks like an All Might secret love child. I know whenever Dave hears Melissa call All Might uncle he dies a little inside because he wishes she could call him Dad too and he could call Toshinori his darling husband and

Rock Lock is happily married and I could never take that away from him

Spinner is green so I can kind of see him as aro but he’s giving madly in love with Shigaraki so much

Magne has a crush on Dabi in one of the Smash strips which is too funny to ignore I think she’s madly in love with him. And she’s right

I like kirimina so fucking much I genuinely struggle to come up with aro Kirishima headcanons. I think he could be quoiromantic but I also think he’s madly in love with Mina so I don’t know. 

Stain is literally in love with All Might

Ending (guy who attacked Natsuo) is literally in love with Endeavor

Garaki Kyudai is literally in love with All For One (“I miss your eyes” guy is so fucking devoted. The true doomed yaoi of MHA)

I know Rody is in love with Izuku he just has to be. 

To me Shindo Yo also has a crush on Izuku but also he's canonically dating Nakagame Tatami which is also cute.

[katnissmellarkkk]

The parallels between Katniss and her mother are quite apparent when it comes to their reactions to grief (as displayed when Mrs. Everdeen lost Katniss’ father and when Katniss lost Peeta and Prim). There’s been posts made about that on here many times before.

But we never really explore the opposition in their choice of man. What I mean is, we’re led to believe (granted, based on very little hints in the first book) that Mrs. Everdeen was with Mr. Mellark in some fashion, at the very least. Enough that he felt it was not only plausible that he could marry her but seemed to be still holding a candle for her all those years later. Mr. Mellark was a merchant, someone from her side of the district, part of the well-to-do class of Twelve. But she instead chose Mr. Everdeen, a poor, coal miner who couldn’t only give her a simple life in the Seam. A life that is much more difficult objectively and in a place that even her own daughter claims she sticks out like a sore thumb in (appearance wise).

Katniss, her daughter, on the other hand, chose Peeta in the end. Even before Mockingjay, it was obvious to anyone really paying attention (in the story or as a reader) who’d she fallen in love with. Gale was a strong, attractive guy from the Seam, who’d lived a pretty parallel life to hers, who was her partner in crime — literally — and her best friend. Everyone expected them to get together. Even the reporters who came from the Capitol took one look at him and thought he seemed like a threat to the idea of the Star-Crossed-Lovers being portrayed on the television screens. And yet, Katniss chose Peeta, not Gale. Peeta, who at the start, she seems to have nothing in common with. Not in terms of their upbringings (she was super poor and starving, he was popular and more comfortable but implied to suffer from heavy child abuse) and not in terms of their mindsets either. But there was an inexplicable attraction between the two, an instinctive pull bringing her back to him no matter how much she tried to fight it. And I suspect her mother had the same feeling, for Mr. Everdeen. That feeling is what led Katniss to choose Peeta over Gale, despite the fact that Gale may have seemed from an outside, detached perspective, like her natural choice of romantic partner. And that feeling is probably what also led her mother to make the same choice all those years before.

Idk I just think it’s interesting that Katniss chose Peeta but her mother — in a lot of ways — chose her Gale. Although there’s a strong argument to be made that her mother was actually choosing her version of Peeta by choosing Katniss’ father but my brain’s not there quite yet.

This post also could have been written and summed up a lot quicker if I’d just said, the love triangle between Katniss, Peeta and Gale and the love triangle between Mrs. Everdeen, Mr. Everdeen and Mr. Mellark are actually parallel love triangles that ended with the woman choosing the opposite type of man.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

sorry before I go to bed I’m thinking bout the different ways Evangelion portrays csa.

asuka's (metaphorical) rape is done by a stranger. someone she doesn’t know. a literal monster. as someone who’s always prided herself on being able to fight, being able to always win, this shatters asuka, who feels such a thing makes her weak. she responds to her trauma by regressing, playing video games at her friends house and speaking to her like a young child, before shutting down entirely to the point of attempted suicide. she’s later sexually abused by shinji, taking his own trauma out on her, and while we don’t see as much of how that effects her, we see the tragedy of the cycles of abuse play out.

shinji's sexual abuse is done by a friend. he doesn’t realise it’s wrong, and misato thinks she’s helping, because he’s a boy and boys like that right? but misato not realising the harm of her actions do not make her any less harmful. there’s a lot of complicated feelings and emotions there, and it very much deals heavily with the complexities of abuse- not all abusers realise what they’re doing. not all abusers even have sexual intent (misato absolutely doesn’t see shinji in a romantic light at all, she's not attracted to him). not all victims hate their abusers, and not all victims fully realise how inappropriate their abusers actions are. yet, the abuse still has impacts- as seen with shinji's complete lack of sexual boundaries, to the point of assaulting asuka for a desperate sense of control. he recognises that it’s awful- it’s something familiar to him to a degree- but as a severely traumatised child, he lashes out and inflicts his own pain on others. which is not acceptable, obviously, but it’s tragic, and shows how abuse makes people worse.

and as for rei, she's abused by her own father. the signs are there, but they don't entirely click at first, and neither do they click to the adults who should be looking out for her. the sexual abuse she faces is overlooked even when it’s right under everyone’s noses. and when someone does put the dots together, they blame her for it. rei's abuse, like a lot of familial abuse, is either ignored or something she’s considered at fault for, despite being sheltered and groomed all her life, and, y’know, fourteen. rei's arc also focuses heavily on her conflicted feelings about her abuser, but in a different way to shinji. she, at first, idolises gendo. she's been groomed her whole life, and is incredibly isolated. what happens is normal to her, she doesn’t see it as wrong because she’s never been told it’s wrong. the idea of not having faith in gendo is alien to her. but as time goes on, she realises what happens isn’t special, it isn’t okay. by the time she dies and another version of her takes her place (the rei's share a soul, so they’re the same person even if rei iii can’t remember everything) she’s quietly furious at the idea of being a doll, and realises she can be more. when her abuser touches her, she literally tears off his hand. and she attains agency! that’s the final part of her storyline. she has agency, for the first time in her life. and she might have chose to listen to shinji on what to do, but she chose for the first time, it’s a massive step and honestly it really struck me as a beautiful ending to her character arc.

idk man. i just like how this mecha anime interrogates a sensitive subject from multiple angles and has genuinely suprisingly good depictions of even abuse that’s not recognised as abuse by most still. it’s nice! it’s refreshing. honestly, they committed to exploring abuse and never trying to apologise for it, and it’s fucking great. i'm personally not a csa victim, but i did go through sexual trauma at around the same ages of these characters, and i found myself relating a lot to their arcs around this due to that even if our experiences are pretty different. i felt aspects of how i dealt with things, especially in rei and shinji but to a degree asuka as well, and it made me feel more confident in myself. if shinji ikari can choose to live, so can I :)

[positivelybeastly]

Don’t know if you’ve answered this before but what are your unpopular opinions on Beast? I’ll go ahead and make myself look bad to start by admitting that, while I hate how Trish went about it, I honestly don’t know if I would find myself attracted to cat Beast if I had been actively dating him up to that point. It would cross the line for me from “human covered in fur” to “literal anthro animal” and I have never been a furry, personally. It’s don’t know if there’s any “good” way to break up over that, and I’d hate myself, but I can at least relate to Trish on the changeup.

So, here's the thing, Anon - I don't think you look bad by admitting that you don't think you'd be able to handle Hank's change from humanoid to leonine. Hank himself could barely handle it. And it brings to mind a clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation, from an episode called The Host.

Basically, Beverly here has seen a romantic partner, Odan, change bodies twice in a very short space of time due to emergency circumstances, and now Odan is in a female presenting body, which compounds Beverly's confused feelings about how to process a very tricky and complicated situation.

I don't think anyone can really blame her for finding it hard and saying no to the relationship, honestly? She's open and she's honest about her feelings, and Odan is disappointed, but they understand, because this has been hard for Beverly just like it's been hard for them. And that's where Beverly and Trish differ.

Like, the way Trish did it? Over the answering machine? Like, just. No. That's the kicker. That's always been the kicker. And the way that she said it? Like, you had every opportunity in the world to delete that message, stop halfway through what you were saying and start again, say it in a way that didn't hurt Hank's feelings - and you chose not to. That's always been the part that's hurt the most.

This woman has presented live news coverage. She knows the importance of choosing her words carefully. She should know better. Which implies that this is just the best way she could see how to handle it, and that is a bad look. It speaks to a lack of empathy and a lack of emotional intelligence, which is on brand for Trish, given how she treated Warren after his wings were damaged by Harpoon, but it's still very, very disappointing to me.

There's never an obligation to love someone after they change. There is an obligation to treat them with kindness and respect, especially when they're struggling with the change, too.

Anyway! You wanted some unpopular opinions?

The X-Men use Beast and don't provide him with adequate emotional support afterwards, in part because they're all too wrapped up in their own problems, and in part because Hank does too good of a job of pretending that he's all right when he's really not. This is compounded by the fact that Hank's closest bonds are with the O5 and not the second generation team (Logan, Ororo, Piotr, etc), so the instant he's on a team that doesn't possess an O5 member, or it possesses an O5 member that he's on bad terms with, things go sour for his mental health, especially if he's expected to do something morally unscrupulous. There is intense significance to the fact that Hank left Utopia after Warren shut him out of his life, Bobby failed to provide emotional support after his torture, and Scott continued to change into a man Hank didn't recognise or approve of.

2. Beast's moral decline was not inevitable and it could have been completely avoided if only the X-Men would stop dragging him into their bullshit and pressuring him to do things he doesn't want to do. Furthermore, the complete lack of taking responsibility by Cyclops, Xavier, Storm, Rogue, Wolverine, or any of the other team leaders who asked Hank to compromise his morals upon seeing where he ended up in X-Force is disappointing, but not unexpected. No, Domino, he was not "always like this."

3. The 'lack of consequences' that Hank suffered as a result of his mistakes and errors in judgement prior to X-Force are not his fault, and are an indictment of poor story handling from 2012 onwards rather than him trying to avoid responsibility for those actions. Hank is, when properly characterised, a person who believes in personal responsibility and owning his decisions.

4. Hank is blatantly obviously bisexual and/or gay. If you ever say that he is the 'straightest X-Man' as a pejorative, I will immediately, and without hesitation, block you.

5. Ben Percy is a fatphobic hack and wanted to write furry blue Mr. Sinister. His characterisation of Beast is, without qualification, embarrassingly bad, and it's clear that everything he knows about the character has been gleamed from Wiki skims. Jordan D. White also holds some of the blame here for not putting his foot down and saying, no, that's not how Beast would act, but frankly, I'm not surprised a modern Marvel editor was failing to do his job on both a micro or macro level.

6. Beast's physical strength has largely been forgotten about by many modern Marvel writers, and further exemplifies how little they care about leveraging what is unique about the character. He was the original X-Men's Big Guy. He is strong. He is fast. He is nimble. He is a threat on the battlefield and can go toe to toe with Captain America. Stop making him job like he's Worf and reducing him down to his intellectual capabilities only, I'm tired of it.

7. The idea that a two dimensional war criminal (no, the idea that you're doing something bad for good reasons is NOT a nuanced one) is somehow more 'interesting' than a intellectual character being forced to battle his morality, bestial instincts, pessimism, and existential dread, is insulting, and betrays an immature approach to characterisation that I can only hope people grow out of.

Characters should grow and change, absolutely. But if that change is making the character worse, stripping him of everything that makes him unique, and shitting on years of better stories? Then it's a bad change. That's not my nostalgia talking, that's my storytelling instincts alerting me to the fact that you're an edgy 14 year old, in mind if not in actuality.

8. Cat Beast is fucking hot, I don't give a fuck if that makes me a furry. Give me his phone number right now, I'll do what Trish Tilby was too cowardly to do. (No judgement on you, Anon, I'm just an unrepentant monster fucker.)

9. S.W.O.R.D Hank is cute as fuck and I absolutely love him in this art style, y'all just need to be more open minded about artists who exaggerate for effect and believe in good expression work at the expense of realism. It's comic books. Let characters look goofy.

10. Beast wasn't being an obstinate bitch on Utopia because he didn't like Scott, he was being an obstinate bitch because he was heavily depressed, morally and emotionally compromised, and regularly having chunks taken out of him physically. He made the correct, healthy decision to remove himself from a situation that was destroying him by inches.

Cyclops was correct to make the calls that got mutantkind through, but Beast was just as correct that a lot of what they were doing was morally abhorrent, and someone had to remember that and remind everyone what they were losing by doing these things, because if you don't, that's how you end up with supervillains. It's not a random coincidence that Cyclops ended up disbanding his version of X-Force later on, because he knew it went too far.

11. Hank is not a traitor to mutantkind. No, he did not 'side' with the Inhumans with Inhumans vs. X-Men, he wanted to abide by the treaty that they had established, work to maintain a peace, and, when that wasn't viable, he didn't want to be part of a pre-emptive strike against an allied power that broke rules of engagement in order to inflict cruel and unusual punishments on people, including sensory deprivation, mental hijacking, and imprisoning people in fucking Limbo.

If you want to blame Hank for 'betraying' mutantkind, are you also going to hold Emma accountable for trying to commit genocide with Sentinels, or Storm for being a fucking idiot and starting a conflict over nothing, when she could have just let Hank go and tell the Inhumans what he'd found out, and the entire conflict could have been avoided? Either IvX is non-canon garbage or it isn't, but own your fucking decisions. Don't pick and choose so you can shit on Hank. This applies just as much to the fandom as it does the writers.

12. Beast is underutilised in fan works because a lot of writers don't feel comfortable writing his unique dialogue style and artists struggle with his myriad mutations (which I don't blame them for, professional artists struggle just as much, if not more so). He is a friend to everyone in the X-Men, someone that they would feel comfortable talking to about their problems with, and every time you reduce him down to just being a plot device, you do your story a disservice.

Yes, this may or may not be influenced by the AO3 Hank McCoy tag 70% stories where he delivers medical/science exposition, 20% First Class AUs, and 10% fics that dive into Hank as a character. 5% of which are probably written by me, because I have a problem.

Those unpopular enough for ya, anon? :P

[archivalofsins]

I'm glad I don't look in the tag like the shit that passes my dash is like stuff I know, and then Mikoto being hypersexualized on a bimonthly basis with the implied impression that it's fine as long as it's a male being sexualized. I have no stake in it one way or the other. If that's fun to some, it's just fun, and I'm certain other characters are sexualized just as much in different circles. Maybe I'm just lucky enough not to have seen that.

Yet that again would be due to people recognizing subconsciously or not that hypersexualizing certain characters of the cast is problematic on some level. I don't see this sort of discussion as often around Yuno despite the content within her music videos. I don't see it around Mahiru or Kotoko as much either. This is excluding every other character that was a child when Milgram started all together.

This may sound like a complaint or a dig at this fandoms ethics, but it isn't because literally most fandoms treat male characters like this. This isn't something the Milgram fanbase created or anything it's quite common.

It's why Persona 5 wrote those story beats around Ryuji how they did- Because when sexual harrassment happens to a man in fiction it's comedy when it happens to a woman in fiction it's either horror or very notably a moral failing on the one doing it. Or maybe again I've just gotten lucky and haven't read a lot of egregious shit in that regard.

The way all fandom tends to hypersexualize men in general is a byproduct of how the sexual issues of men are discussed in media and ignorance. The same as it is when it comes to hypersexualization and caricaturing of female characters past and present as well. I don't want this to come off as me saying being overly sexualized is a male issue alone. Because it's not. This is a very reductionist explanation of sexualization in media, something that affects all genders differently.

There's much more to it than what I'm saying here. Plus, not everyone does this with the intent of demeaning a character or reducing them to their sexual appeal alone. Some people just find a design sexy or aesthetically appealing that's pretty reasonable. Displaying why that is- is reasonable as well.

However, when that is put alongside comments like "I'd never judge a female character like this, of course, I have some class." It starts to make me raise an eyebrow just a bit. Like, I end up wondering like um why not though?

Hate to be openly pansexual (no i don't this is hyperbole) but um, women are hot, lol. What does no one else think so? Is it bad to point out the features of the Milgram women too. I'm sorry but Mahiru is hot she dresses well and homely she has a decent figure and she is not lacking in the chest department.

It really comes down to preference at the end of the day. Am i going to sit here and say Mikoto looks average? No, like Mikoto, Kazui, Mahiru, and Shidou are all genuinely attractive and can be somewhat charismatic people. Ya know something that a good few murderers are. That's kind of the point of them being the adults of the group.

They are the end result of everyone here younger than them and are more than likely the best at what they do.

Outside of that, it would be weird of me to hold anybody to a certain standard when it comes to what they're attracted to in fiction. Unless they are romanticizing a criminal act or a child. Gotta make that really clear. Since that isn't really occurring here, it is kind of free game. Go nuts, really.

I just find it interesting that everything a person would ethically have an issue with someone doing to a character that's a woman has been done to Mikoto with reckless abandon.

From hyperfocusing on the measurements of his body, overtly sexualizing him regardless of how covered up he is, making assumptions about his romantic or sexual preferences. It's like everything that would make anyone rightfully a creep if they did it to a woman whether that be in real life or in fiction has been done to this one fictional dude to the point it technically happens in cycles. I can tell when a month has ended based on if this man's body is being talked about sometimes, and I shouldn't be able to do that at any time.

It's impressive. I need to note again that I'm not saying this because I'm a prude or to protect Mikoto's very nonexistent innocence. It's just a funny and interesting double standard to look into within any fandom, not just this one. I know it's all in good fun, and this isn't meant to call it out or anybody in any way.

It's just meant to be me going,

"Hey, this is a funny thing that hasn't really been questioned that much that actually ties into other writing tropes in media that are pretty bad. Let's talk about it."

Even if it is not that deep.

Personally, I've always found it interesting as daughter of a guy that suffered interpersonal partner violence and being raised in a community where the sexual assault of both men and women is prominently discussed to see how men and women are sexualized not only in media but by fanbases. Of course, I'm way more interested in this when it comes to black people. However, when a good example of the differences is sitting right in front of me, it's hard to overlook it.

Better excuse, though- Mahiru is hot, too! Maybe stop talking about how she's delusional and instead discuss how she had low confidence and rejection sensitivity. Causing her to not understand what she was doing was too much for the situation as well as made it difficult for her to let the fact that she was not accepted by someone she liked go. Similarly to Mu.

Like maybe this line from This Is How To Be In Love With You deserves a bit more focus,

"What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked."

A common question for one to ask their partner about the outfits they put on.

Or this one in I Love You,

"Sigh... No appetite, I can’t sleep, my hair’s a mess. What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me."

I'm not hungry, I can't sleep, and worst of all- I'm not even looking good right now. Yeah fuck it actually this is a Mahiru appreciation post now that woman served this community several different outfits and this bastard only gave two fuck Mikoto stop complimenting this man for his cycling body.

Yeah, he's fit. We know! The man bikes to work to stay in shape and practices swinging a bat when angry.

But guess what-

Mahiru jogs, and she even has a cute jogging outfit. We've never even seen this man on a bike. Let alone in a cycling outfit.

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

Oh, you're picky huh. People wouldn't ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, yeah... So, why does Mahiru Shiina's first music video look like a fashion catalogue-

While all we see from you is you putting your clothes where they belong,

Sorry, I got heated there. It's not a fashion competition because we clearly know who would win that. Long story short, Mahiru has a cute design too.

[alj4890]

Processing and Developing

(Ethan x F!MC) (Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart one shot.

Taken from Book 3, Ines's wedding reception.

This one's for you, @jerzwriter 😉 I haven't forgotten our need for more Tobias. It's not good, but I finally broke the writer's block, LOL!

Masterlist

A/N I finally wrote something! 🤣 This idea came about last night when replaying Book 3. I always opt to have my MC, Chris, take a photo of just her and Tobias at Ines's wedding reception. Originally, I hoped this scene would open up a romance option with Tobias. Sadly, PB didn't give it to me, LOL, so this is how I wish things had gone down canon wise.

"You look like you could use this."

Chris turned around at the familiar voice. Her eyes darted over how handsome the man before her looked dressed to the nines in his blue suit. Humor lurked in the hazel depths of his eyes as he in turn noticed her taking every inch of him in.

Tobias exaggerated clearing his throat. He held up the two fruity cocktails in his hands and playfully shook one.

Chris smiled in response while reaching for the glass that had cherries and a pineapple spear sitting on the rim.

Tobias lifted it out of her reach.

He clucked his tongue in mock disapproval. "Hold on. You know what you have to do to earn this."

Chris's smile dimmed. She wasn't certain if it was the fact they were guests at Ines's romantic Hawaiian wedding or that her hopeful imagination was getting the better of her again. Something though was different between Tobias and herself. The pair had always bantered back and forth and enjoyed the sharp wit of the other. Somehow along the way, the teasing took on a slight sexual edge.

She couldn't help but think he was attractive. Even when she first deemed him the enemy the year before, she found him incredibly sexy. Now that she was coming to know the type of man he truly was, she knew she was falling hard for Tobias.

She wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Tobias had been playing the long game with Chris. He'd thought her cute the first time he'd seen her at Leland Bloom's home. Going head to head with her and Ethan had been one of more enjoyable aspects of his job. Each time he saw her after that, though she glared at him, made him want to know her even more.

After the attack, her attitude changed towards him. He found himself the recipient of her warm smiles and good natured teasing. Even while fighting for her life, she never lost her sense of humor.

He admired her spirit, her mind, and to no one who knew him's surprise, her body.

The moment he joined Edenbrook's diagnostic team, he was finally able to see if his brief impressions of Chris were accurate. The more time he spent with her, the more he saw why there were a few at Edenbrook with feelings for her. She made it easy to fall head over heels.

Normally, he'd have already made his move. Given their close work relationship and the fact he suspected Ethan and Chris had an interesting past, he held back. When it came to Chris, he didn't want any competition, whether it be a literal person or one of secret pining for said person.

If things were to work out like he thought, he'd want Chris's heart and mind for himself. There would be no other way he could be with her.

It's odd, he thought to himself. Normally I'd be all for having her without any expectations or even caring if she wanted someone else.

But now...

"What do I have to do?" Chris interrupted his thoughts.

A slight blush graced her cheeks from the way he was looking at her.

Tobias pointed towards the photo booth.

One look at his suspicious smile made Chris double over with laughter.

"You found the box of props, didn't you?" She asked between giggles.

"You bet I did." He chuckled. "What do you say we drag Ethan and Harper in there and get a team photo."

"You really think you can get Ethan to don a wig and clown nose?" She asked.

"Nope." He grinned at her. "Even I'm not that persuasive."

"I don't know," she teased. "From my experience, you have quite a way about you."

Her smile grew the longer she looked at him.

"You've already got me agreeing to not only get in that photo booth, but also help you convince our more serious team members to join us."

"Then my charm is finally being used for good." He handed her a cocktail with a wink. "Let's take a dose of liquid courage and make our attack."

*************

"No." Ethan told them. "I prefer to keep my dignity intact."

"Dignity is overrated." Tobias teased.

Harper shook her head over that statement. "I'm all for a team photo, but I would like it to represent us in a more positive, respectful light."

Chris rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I think having such a picture would show our patients we're people too, ones with an excellent sense of humor."

"Our patients don't care about whether or not we have a sense of humor." Ethan argued. "They only want us to make them feel better. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Spoil sports." Tobias muttered. "Well Chris, it's up to me and you to show these two how to have fun."

Harper snorted in amusement. "I'll take my fun with getting another drink."

She waved goodbye on her way to the open bar.

Before he could engage the pair in a conversation, Ethan watched as Tobias grabbed Chris's hand and dragged her into the booth. His brow furrowed when he noticed they'd forgotten to grab props for their fun photo.

Curious about what they were doing behind the closed curtain, he went to watch the line of photos start to appear.

The first photo was of the two of them laughing. The second one had a more normal smile. The third one made him pause. The pair were looking at each other in a way he didn't want to contemplate. In fact, the image showed that Tobias was looking at the young lady beside him as if seeing her for the very first time.

Ethan's feelings for Chris had never died. If anything, they'd gotten stronger over time. He worked hard to keep things professional and continued to keep her at arm's length. It was difficult given how often they were together at work, but he knew it was for the best.

The fourth picture made his heart sink. The two in the booth were closer than before with heads tilted as if they were about to--

"Ethan?"

He spun away from his worst fears developing in the fifth picture. Harper eyed him for a few seconds before moving to see what held his attention.

Her eyes widened over the photograph of Tobias and Chris sharing a passionate kiss.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I had no idea they were together."

A muscle spasmed in Ethan's jaw.

"Excuse me." He bit out.

He left the reception with quick strides. The sound of the waves hitting the shore nor the warm breeze blowing did little to calm the emotions roiling within. He wished his curiosity had not gotten the better of him. Tonight could have ended with him simply dreaming about all the things he would have liked to have done with Chris if they'd been a couple.

Ethan briefly closed his eyes. He knew exactly how their night would have gone.

He would have been her date to the wedding. There would have been hints that one day they might like to have a destination wedding like Ines and Angie. They'd have spent the reception basking in the romantic atmosphere. Slow dances would have been shared. Flirting would have led to them slipping away shortly before the cake was cut.

Chris would have teased him that he better make it up to her for missing out on wedding cake. Ethan would have done so with a moon lit walk on the beach followed by retiring to their shared suite. He'd then have spent the entire night making love to her, proving that his heart was fully hers.

Ethan shook himself out of his pointless thoughts. He'd made his choice two years earlier. He could have had everything he wanted if he'd only considered that Chris was different from any other woman he'd known. Now he was left with longing for what might have been.

He eased into the shadows when he heard footsteps combined with Chris's laughter approaching.

"And just where are you taking me, Dr. Carrick?" Chris asked with a flirty lilt to her voice.

"Someplace where we can't be interrupted." Tobias paused to pull her back into his arms.

The two shared a deep kiss.

A moan, Ethan recalled all too well having once in his life caused, slipped out of Chris. That sound was embedded in his mind. He never imagined hearing another man cause it. It hurt worse than he could have imagined, knowing it wasn't because of his own lips touching hers.

"I think I know what's going to happen when we get behind a locked door." She said softly, all teasing gone. "But what happens when the sun rises?"

Ethan winced at the memory of Chris asking him that very question years ago. After a night proving how perfectly they fit together in every single fashion, he responded that they would go back to their lives as if nothing had happened between them.

He couldn't see his former best friend and roommate wanting anything more than a one night stand. Perhaps, Ethan could still hold on to what he longed for most in this world.

Tobias shocked him with his response.

"I will take you out for breakfast." He pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "That way we can talk about our new relationship."

Chris stilled.

"Relationship?" She asked hesitantly.

"I want more than tonight with you." Tobias held her close. "I want you to be mine, no one else's."

Ethan watched Chris's face fill with joy. With a slight gasp, she kissed Tobias with all the love she'd kept for the one who could give her what she wanted.

The new couple hurried into the hotel.

Ethan moved out of the shadows. He couldn't quite wrap his head around all that had occurred within the last hour.

Why didn't I ask Chris to dance earlier? Why didn't I agree to do the asinine picture? Would it have stopped her getting with Tobias?

He knew that Bryce had gone after Chris. Seeing them together hadn't hurt. Bryce was completely different from Ethan. Though they were both doctors, their studies didn't line up. He knew he'd never have Bryce's fun loving swagger. In his eyes, he knew it wasn't a competition between them for Chris's affection.

With Tobias, it was a huge blow to Ethan's ego. The two were too similar. Both were highly intelligent, loved the mystery diagnostics allowed them to pursue, and they had similar temperaments.

"Not anymore." Ethan muttered to himself.

Tobias had changed these last ten years. He still was driven with his love of a good mystery, but he no longer lost his temper as quickly as he once had. There was no need to one-up Ethan over every single thing.

Ethan realized that Tobias had become a man he would actually enjoy being close to again.

How could he now? The man was with the woman he desperately loved.

"There you are!" Harper jogged up the path.

"Looking for me?" Ethan asked.

"I was worried about you." She admitted.

"I'm fine." He replied.

"Ethan." She gently touched his cheek. "It's me. You know you can talk to me. I can see you're upset."

He blinked, stepping away from her.

"I'm not upset." He snapped.

Her eyes narrowed. "I saw you and I saw what happened in that photo booth."

Ethan stiffened after shoving his hands in his pockets. He tried to walk away from someone else confirming his heartache. Harper was having none of it.

She placed a hand on his chest and stepped directly into his path.

"I saw, Ethan." She repeated. "I've seen how you look at Chris. Does she know you're in love with her?"

Ethan averted his eyes. Shaking his head, he heaved a deep sigh.

Harper softened her tone. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"There were many reasons." He muttered. "Though, none of them seem important now."

"You could still tell her." Harper argued. "What we saw was probably nothing more than just two people giving in to the romance of the evening. Tomorrow you can--"

He shook his head, silencing her halfhearted attempt to cheer him up.

"It's too late." He swallowed. "I've uh, I've burned a lot of bridges between me and Chris."

He glanced up at the hotel, wondering which room she was in.

"Someone else came along and gave her what she wanted."

Harper wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug.

He didn't return it. After a few seconds, he untangled himself from her embrace.

"Ethan? It will get easier."

"Perhaps." He conceded. "For right now, I need to be alone."

He began to walk inside of the hotel. He knew it would be a torturous night in his lonely suite. He anticipated having many miserable nights the next few months since he now possessed front row seats for Chris and Tobias's new relationship. He knew deep down that no matter how much time passed, his heart would never fully heal.

When it came to Chris, it would always hurt.

[lindentea]

a Dyke-nonychus for Pride month! Baltimore Pride is tomorrow and i'm excited! it's my first Pride since coming out as a lesbian and i'm PUMPED.

(a longer-than-i-thought-it-would-be ramble about identity follows!)

i'd been out as bi for something like 25+ years (i just turned 40 three weeks ago). i thought that since i'm not a †3®ƒ and i'm attracted to women and nonbinary ppl no matter their hardware, and since i'm transmasc/genderqueer myself, that it fully excluded me from being able to call myself a lesbian. i've heard and internalized some really cruel takes (mostly on leftbook, ugh) from tankies screaming that no one can be a lesbian unless they strictly identify as a woman in a very binaristic sense, are only attracted to women also in a binaristic sense, and only use she/her pronouns.

what a crock of shit, amirite??

comphet got me real bad, too. i'd been partnered with an uninterrupted stream of men since i was 15 (also dated women/nb ppl during that time, polycules, yadda yadda). i was married to a man for almost a decade, then only a handful of months after we split up, i jumped straight into another almost-decade-long relationship with a man (lovebombing is one helluva drug). i'm still friends with my ex-husband but that latter partner was horrendously abµs¡ve and thank fuckin' Satan i'm no longer with him.

up until i escaped The Arsehole, the longest amount of time that i wasn't in any kind of relationship with a man (whether romantic or just a hookup) was only a couple months at most. the societal pressure to never say "no" to a man is crushing. to always seek validation from men, because if men don't find me attractive then i have failed at life. the pressure when identifying as bi and internalizing the message of "but if you're bi, why don't you want to date men? if you're really bi, you shouldn't exclude any gender(s) from your dating pool."

...and then i spent an entire year without having any sort of relationship with a man. and hooooooo-lee shit, y'all...!! i had an existential crisis that was.. honestly...? set off by Tracy Chapman's performance at the Grammys. i made a whole 3-hour long Spotify playlist of as many songs as i could think of that had made me feel the gayest. (the playlist is fuckin' siiiiiiiiick, if i may say so myself. but i'm sorry to non-paying Spotify folks, since i prefer to craft playlists meant to be listened to in a specific order. still slaps on random, tho.)

i spilled my guts to a few trusted friends (as well as my lovely nb partner), and i in a conversation with one of my closest friends (whomst, in the past, i'd had multiple deep-dive conversations about our identities as bi) i said, "so like... if i'm nonbinary... and i'm only attracted to women and nonbinary ppl who identify more with that 'end' of the timey-timey gendery-wendery gender spectrum...." and she told me, "Linden... Linden. that is literally in the definition of lesbian." and... that was that, then.

ANYHOW, i could go on and on, but..... uhhhhh HERE, HAVE A CUTE DINOSAUR! happy Pride!!