#shes been vocal about the side effects for a while which is fine

[agp]

gee im sure this isnt going to be used to further justify restrictions on hormones

[lily-avenue]

Musings on Gold Digger (2019)

** Warning contains major spoilers **

** Also warning: massively long-winded ramble **

Julia Ormond, Ben Barnes and an exploration of a may-december romance in the midst of complicated famillial dynamics and an underlying unease.

Both leads are very good. We see Julia Day (Julia Ormond) reclaim herself as she moves out of the roles to which she has been assigned, or perhaps more accurately, has assigned herself; while Benjamin Greene (Ben Barnes) treads the fine line of someone who is not entirely what he seems to be, and who in pursuing the path he has chosen, is moving both closer to, and further away, from what he needs. We all, or many of us at least, want to be known and loved for who we actually are.

The supporting cast are uniformly excellent, with each episode putting the spotlight on one of Julia's now-adult kids (Patrick, Della and Leo), her ex-husband (Ted), her ex-best-friend (Marsha), and her new lover.

The series poses a range of complex, thorny questions, such as what it means to take a much younger (or much older) lover; the immediate and long-term aftermath of domestic violence; the loss of confidence and trust following betrayal; the ripple effect of those pivotal moments that each of us have in our lives; and the small (and large) lies that we tell ourselves and each other.

Nearly everyone in Julia's life is openly and vocally "concerned" when she introduces the much younger Benjamin into her life, and the series also explores the cost of pursuing your own happiness in the face of others' disapproval.

For the most part, the two sons (Patrick and Leo) are Not Very Nice. While they are not necessarily unjustified in their concerns about Benjamin, and are each grappling with the fallout of their parents' shared history, how they act upon those concerns is rather unpleasant. (And slighly nonsensical. Patrick is a well-heeled lawyer, surely he would have hired a private investigater to do some digging?) Della, her daughter, is the most open of the three to their mother's new relationship. And while for the most part that isn't saying much, Della's growing acceptance and support of Julia's right to be her own person and the strength she demonstrates in doing so, make for a lovely subplot - particularly as it starts to positively impact her own life.

While the series asks a lot of questions, it doesn't necessarily answer them in a way that fully satisfies. We see Benjamin and Julia's attraction in numerous sex scenes, and it is fabulous to move from the early scenes, in which she turns off the light, to later scenes in which she has pushed aside some of her insecurities. But we don't see enough of their intellectual attraction, of the non-physical side of things, and of how they navigate the fact that in terms of cultural milieu, he has far more in common with her children than with her (sort of, that too is complicated). There are some lovely glimpses - the book of walks he gives her as a gift, for example, rather than ubiquitous and offensively-generic flowers. But their growing closeness is mostly given in montages of them walking around holding hands in various locales - we are rarely privvy to the intimate discussions that would show a deepening relationship.

Much goes unquestioned by Julia, which given her intelligence and life experience seems somewhat implausible, although perhaps newly discovered and unexpected love can make fools of us all? Her lack of curiosity about Benjamin's past, which clearly continues to affect him, or his financial situation (mid 30s, professional job, but about to be hounded by bailiffs?) is hand-waved away at one point. This is one of those instances where I cannot tell if it suboptimal writing (maintaining suspense at the cost of characterisation) or very clever writing (Julia tends to avoid conflict; her reluctance to ask questions to which she doesn't necessarily want to know the answer has precedence). Herein lies the dilemma of suspense-based drama: in keeping Benjamin an relatively unknown quality we lose the opportunity to get to know him and Julia as a couple, and that becomes problematic later on.

We experience Julia's growth as she takes responsibility for her own destiny, eventually starting to question what it is that Benjamin isn't telling her, and taking the necessary steps to find out more. And when she finds out more, and it is rather confronting, she still chooses to listen before coming to her own conclusions. But we don't see the same for Benjamin. His journey is more opaque, and because we only get very few snippits of his life before Julia, is largely for the viewer to infer, or only becomes evident after the fact. He wants to run away when things start to close in on him, but he doesn't. Ultimately his hand is forced and he breaks a long-held agreement with his brother to put his own needs first. (There is a small subplot about an engagement that didn't happen; a former girlfriend broke up with him the day he proposed, and one wonders if it was because he also told her the truth about his past.)

There are interesting contrasts between Benjamin and Ted. Both are outwardly well put together, but neither are what they seem. Ted is successful, wealthy and enmeshed in entitled middleclass-ness, while Benjamin is not, despite his facade of the urbane younger man.

But the outward trappings hide the fact that Ted is controlling and violent, while Benjamin - despite what the criminal justice system would say - is neither. And that contrast is backed up by the scene with Ted in the forest on the morning of the wedding, compared with that with Benjamin on the beach (in which Julia asks him to not touch her, and he listens and respects her wishes instantly). Even throughout the argument with his newly re-emerged brother Kieran, which escalates into low-level violence, Benjamin only ever reacts, never instigates.

And it would be entirely remiss of me not to mention Marsha, who has made her own bed, unfortunately with Ted in it. We meet Marsha just as she is beginning to realise the extent of the poor bargain she's made, and it really only gets worse.

I am still not sure whether the series simply had very high expectations of the viewer, or whether the script spread itself too thin and undercut itself. The distrust and deception that flows throughout the series was almost catching, and in the face of it I wanted stronger closure, a deeper resolution of the issues that came to light late in the piece. In the absence of that, Kieran's words after the fight with Benjamin resonate just a little too strongly for me. Are they actually in love with one another, or are they in love with what the other represents to them?

Is Benjamin a gold digger? Not, I think, in the traditional sense of the term. He sees in Julia an embodiment of the life he wants to have, but had always been excluded from. My take is that the attraction and burgeoning love is real, but that it is also inseparable from her aura of wealth, education and intellect, which are an integral part of who she is and how she moves through the world.

He was certainly not honest with her, and that also poses an interesting question about how much of our ourselves, and our actions, we can mask, ignore or conceal before sliding into deception or disaster. Alongside Benjamin editing his past to hide a terrible act (in which he played a supporting role but shouldered much of the consequences), we have a younger Julia peddling the fiction that all was well with her (first) marriage, Ted hiding his violent streak, Patrick having an affair, Leo knowing about Ted and Marsha but not telling his mother. The list goes on.

The lingering disquiet of how much of Benjamin is a performance, and how much is real, never quite leaves. We do see sharper edges to him at times, which are in keeping with what is revealed about his past (you couldn't come out of young offenders unscathed, and you certainly wouldn't get through it without developing some pretty decent survival mechanisms), although Julia herself is not privvy to them. It is in the rawness and desperation of a couple of his reactions that a measure of confirmation is provided that his feelings towards Julia are genuine. There is a two-fold element of unreliable narration with Benjamin, yet it feels not entirely unreasonable to conclude that Benjamin the construct is underpinned by a longstanding and deep-seated need, and has largely become Benjamin the actual. But how recent was this process, and was it a legitimate one? We don't ever really find out, and that matters when it comes to our central conundrum.

But as may have become evident throughout this long-winded ramble, one of my own personal failings is that I like my fictional endings to be happy, and unambiguously so. I want Julia to enjoy her 'after', just as much as I want Benjamin to revel in the safety and belonging she provides. So holding onto a suitable measure of optimism (or perhaps of wishful thinking - our characters may not be alone in their penchant for self-deception), let us now return to their wedding reception and one of my favourite scenes. Watching a truly beguiling Julia invite Benjamin to dance, and an utterly charming Benjamin follow her onto the dance floor, made me smile. A lot. And with that in mind I am going to find myself a glass of champagne, ensure my best smile is firmly in place, and head out onto the dance floor to wish the two of them my very best.

[chatter-crow]

please do. personally went off about the soundtrack the first time i heard it.... it's's . not good (about mean girls)

alright this is a whole lot because holy SHIT i think about this more than I should

! ! This is all my opinion ! !

If you liked it, good for you ig just dont attack me lol

They took every bit of musical theater out of the soundtrack and made it sound like generic pop. Theater kids pay WELL for good stuff, they could have made a lot of money.

Also, the complete lack of emotion is awful. Stupid With Love is meant to be Cady being absolutely thrilled, on the fucking moon with joy, but she sounds completely apathetic about her feelings for Aaron. Plus, the way they used autotune (esp on Cady) makes it feel like Disney Channel in the worst way possible.

There are some lyrics changes that really bother me. In the orignal Sexy, Karen has a line of 'I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in,' while in the new line is 'Watch me as I run the world in shoes I cannot walk in', which chnages the entire meaning of the lyric from 'Karen thinks its #feminist to assert control over people because she's priveleged' to 'Karen is a girlboss who can do anything cause women are cool and smart' , which in the most respectful is *not* who Karen is as a character. There are more, but I can't name them off the top of my head so,, whatever lol

On casting, I think just about everybody but Cady were cast extremely well. Renee Rapp does such a fantastic job as Regina, really suits the character and knows how to play her. (Makes sense, she played Regina on Broadway).

Auli'i Cravalho pulls off Janis's character pretty well, but I don't think she fully captured the essence of the character. She doesn't really have the bitterness/jadedness that the orginal Janis has and I don't feel like she has the fact the Janis is in fact a mean girl down. This is no shade to her, I feel like it's more the way they rewrote Janis rather than her acting. I do like that they changed Janis's last name to reflect Auli'i's culture though. Nice detail.

Avantika and Jaquel both pulled off their characters perfectly. Avantika really has the right face for Karen, with big doe eyes and whatnot, she can really pull off the effect of being as stupid as Karen is. (That sounds mean, it's really not.) Jaquel did Damien good, and I don't really have a lot to say on his performance other than his voice is fantastic and he has Damien's character down. I do think he got type-cast a *bit* just due to how I've seen him act off screen, but he still did good. He knows his type.

Cady. Hoo boy. She is.. a look.

Angourie Rice is a fine actress on her own, but her vocals just aren't strong enough to keep up when she's surronded by people like Auli'i Cravalho and Renee Rapp, whose careers have been strongly focused on the muscial side of things, with Auli'i playing Moana for Disney and Renee having a music and broadway career alongside her movie career. Angourie just isn't able to compete with them. I'm sure she's a lovely actress on her own but she just doesn't have the muscial expiernce to be leading in a movie-musical.

Also, with representation, I appreciate that they made the cast more diverse, but it bothers me that four of the biggest MAIN CHARACTERS are still white. I can understand keeping Regina blonde because of the constant references to her blonde-ness in the musical, but Gretchen or Aaron absolutely could have been changed.

Hell, I would have loved to see Gretchen played by an asian actress, reconnecting with her culture at the end, since in the original she began to learn japanese or chinese (I don't remember which rn) as a way to connect with her new circle of friends.

On costumes, I don't think they did Janis justice, but I do like the gradual shift they have for Cady in her style and the Plastics are accurate.

I think keeping Janis emo like she was in the orignal movie and the musical would have been better. Artsy styles like hers are more widely excepted by teenagers while emos are mocked and harrassed extremely often, so keeping her emo would have added to her status as a social outcast.

I enjoy how they used social media to change the plot to be more modern, even if it isn't entirely accurate to how teenagers nowadays act. I think they were trying their best and did what they could with what knowledge they had.

I'm mad that they cut Stop, More is Better, Where Do You Belong? and Do This Thing. Stop is a fantastic chance to put the spotlight on Damian (since he has almost no solos COUGH COUGH) in and it could have absolutely been spun to have a more modern take on internet safety.

The plot. Oh my god, the plot. I HATE how they changed Regina being homophobic to Janis to 'oOOOooo Regina made it seem like Janis was an arsonist', which is.. litterally not the point. Homophobia still exists, Tina Fey, and sapphics/lesbians often do face discrimination from other women who claim to be allies. Plus, with calling Regina a lesbian and trying to set up Rejanis in the end? No! That is just not it! Regina is a fucking homophobe. Fight me y'all.

Okay I'm running out of time rn BUT i will be back later to add more onto this ,, thanks for reading through all of this if you did kudos to you

so long yall

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective : Hello, Goodbye (Hell-O)

Sung by: Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry feat. New Directions Original Artist(s): The Beatles

I'll bet you a million dollars this is the first song they came up with for the episode. In fact - this may have been the inspiration for the episode. It fits a little too perfectly with the story lines and as an ending number for the episode.

Story Analysis

The thing that I think is hilarious is the fact that this song works on a few different layers and yet is kind of anvil-ish as Glee always is. There's no deeper/subtler meaning because Glee is going to make sure you don't miss anything that they're getting at.

Well... on a meta level - it's the end of the first episode back from a long hiatus, and ultimately, the beginning of the rest of the show. So, we're saying hello to the show and the characters and goodbye because it's the end. Clever, Glee, clever.

As an aside, there's kind of an unusual side effect going on here, too. The show is not the same after this episode. While the Madonna episode will really push the show to where it ultimately goes, we are saying hello to something relatively new and goodbye to simpler, more built on satire, adult focused show and hello to the crazy teen drama the show is going to ramp up to be.

Meanwhile, with the characters -- it's pretty clear that the song is a nice cap on the Finchel/Wemma story lines.

You say yes I say no (You say stop) (I say go, go, go!)

The whole song is the push and pull of where these two couples stand with each other. The episode itself is a whirlwind of ups and downs -- each side wanting then breaking each other's hearts and then pining for each other... it's a bit crazy in that classic Glee style.

You say goodbye and I say hello Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

Not to fully recap the episode or anything but... this song is kind of doing that.

Finn was the one to say goodbye first, only to want to say hello again, just as Rachel was saying goodbye again, too -- only deep down she knows she wants the hello.

Meanwhile, Will and Emma are both adult enough that they know even though they want the hello -- for now, they have to say goodbye.

Oh the angst...

Technical Thoughts

So... we're back to black and white costuming! Why? Because the whole message of this song is rather black and white. Both Finchel and Wemma are saying hello and goodbye to each other and ooff tv drama conflict.

I don't have a whole lot to add about the vocals here. Maybe I should be a little softer in my opinions but these Finn/Rachel ending duets are beginning to feel a little bland. They sound fine, but it feels a lot like going through the motions. Also, you won't notice it unless you're really paying attention -- but the back up vocal tracks are again double/tripled/whatever. They always go for that big choir sound when really, there's only twelve of them. (They eventually move away from this style, and I'm kinda ready for it, tdb)

I will say, though, we're supposed to see Rachel's conflict play out on her face -- the fact that she's struggling with saying goodbye to Finn just as he wants to say hello again. It works. It's fine. Their choreography, too, is a whole pull and release, moving together and apart -- another commentary on their relationship.

The rest of the choreography. I just have... thoughts. Okay, so I give them credit -- they're getting better. But it's still a lot of just walking up and down the stage and twirling and a lot of quick camera pans and editing cuts to mask the fact that they aren't really doing that much. Which, it's show choir - they really don't need to be dancing all that much. But it's funny to me the ways they kind of dress up these ending numbers to cover the awkward dancing.

Also -- the goofy smiling from the rest of the cast kind of is a funny juxtaposition compared to the angsting from Finn and Rachel. The rest of the cast seems like they're having a hilarious time -- or doing a great job faking it. (Btw - Kurt and Quinn are kind of giggly with each other -- which makes me wonder what Chris and Dianna were up to.)

Meanwhile - we have Will and Emma angst. And I went back to make sure they didn't use the same Emma reaction twice. They didn't, but oh god are they close. They will use the same shot twice later on in the series...

vs. The Studio Version: There's really not much difference, other than they add the music interlude the original has, as well as a repeated chorus and extended ending complete with Mercedes wailing on the last note. You can also tell there's a lot of autotune going on. Ngl, I don't mind this song -- but after listening to it a bunch of times now, I've gotten a headache.

vs. The Original Version: You know, I didn't realize just how often Glee takes songs and speeds them up. The original version feels so much more relaxed. (I also wonder if that's why the sound feels a little off in the Glee version -- they may have sang it at a slower speed then they had to make it faster to fit the episode.) Anyway, the sound of the original just feels calmer and more unique. I enjoy a lot of Glee's covers, but sometimes they do strip that unique factor from the original.

Also, fun fact - Paul McCartney said he wrote this about the duality of himself. Makes continued sense for Glee to use it for the ending of this episode.

[zzzallnite]

- The Extraction -

“Room service!” I knock on the door of the suite room. After a few seconds, a man opens the door and let me push the cart in. Inside, the room is lit with warm yellow light and simply decorated with a few pieces of rather unknown painters. The middle-aged guest signs to me to put the cart next to his bed, while he loosens his dress shirt down to the third button and leaves the unfastened necktie hanging on his shoulders. He loudly continues his conversation on the phone in a foreign language out in the balcony, assuming that I don’t understand anything. But in fact I do: he is talking about a delivery of a new biometric scanner to a governmental building in Vienna. I quickly take a glance at the man’s wallet on the coffee table when he’s still busy yelling at the one on the other side of the line with a funny accent outside the balcony. “PATRICK MUELLER. Head of Research and Development. AXIUS GmbH.”

Mr. Mueller hangs up on the phone and gets inside, expecting me to already leave. But I’ve got a surprise for him: I was waiting for him to enter the room and before he notices anything, I quickly put him in a headlock. “Arrrgh...Was...ist...los...? Arrghh...” He tries to pull by arm away from squeezing his carotid artery that pumping oxygen-rich blood to his brain, allowing the man, or any other person for that matter, to stay conscious. But his effort is all in vain as I have been practice this move a thousand times already. He succumbs to the sleeper and goes limp in seconds; before he passes out, the man lets out a faint “hrrrghh” pur like a kitten, which I find rather amusing. But there’s no time, I have other business to deal with. I immediately squirt a potent central depressant disguised in the form of a nasal spray; the drug was created by our genius engineers, who claimed the effect would be instant and the receiver wouldn’t recall anything, which may come in handy as I don’t want him to remember my face nor this encounter. I wait for 10 seconds... 20 seconds... 30 seconds... Mr. Mueller’s mouth slightly opens to take in some fresh oxygen for his brain, which was momentarily cut of just a minute ago, but his thin salt and pepper hair is still resting still on my chest, as he remains soundly asleep. Knowing that the sedative has done its magic, I drag the man by his armpits to his bed and lay him on his back.

“Target’s acquired,” I say to my communicator, “Proceed for next steps.”

“It’s about time!”, my partner answers back while she gives me the instruction of what to do. The cart I brought in earlier was just the cover for our little gadgets for this extraction mission. “Okay, first we need his fingerprints. Lay his right hand on the tablet; it will send the data to our field agent in Munich.”

“Next, I’ll need you to use the scanner on both of his irises at the same time.”

I try to lift both of his eyelids on one hand and hold the hand-held device that resembles a barcode scanner with the other. The man’s body twitches a little as the laser sweep across his eyes; I hold my breath for a second and let out a sigh of relief when I realize that he’s still out for the count.

“Here comes the trickiest part: voice recognition. But don’t worry; we’ve got just the right toy for it!”

“What the hell?”, I mumble to myself while looking at the unbelievably strange-looking device that looks like a shock collar and ball gag.  I could hear my partner giggling while she instructs me on how to use it. The collar acts as a the larynx stimulator, which send an electrical zap to activate the vocal muscles and the gag is a microphone to record to sound coming out of it. All I need to do is to cause his diaphragm to contract so the air in his lungs could come out, by punching it at the right place, which wouldn’t be a problem for me. “What if he wakes up?” I tell my partner, and she reassures me that if the knockout spray works fine then there won’t be an issue, but poor Patrick may have an unexplained stomach pain tomorrow. I open his shirt all the way to his belly button and proceed to gut punch the man; he lets out a faint “hurgh” noise as my fist contacts his solar plexus. I swear I could hear a snort on the other side of the communicator.

“His name has two syllables; you need to do it twice, consecutively.” I follow the direction and gut punch the still unconscious man two more times. Now I can clearly hear multiple people howling next to my ear. “Ok thanks for the effort, but we already has his voice recording from the reception!”, my partner says while trying to contain her laughter.

“What are you doing that for?”, I grind my teeth.

“Well, just because we are on a mission doesn’t mean we can pull a prank on our coworkers at the same time. Besides, the man won’t realize a thing. We already had the necessary data so you can retreat now. Unless, of course, you want to spend some sexy time with Mr. Mueller.”

I have to admit, I am aroused by his whole look right now: silver fox, curly chest hair, disheveled business attire, out cold and vulnerable. But his attitude earlier on the phone just slightly turns me off, and also I can see a ring on his finger – he’s married, although probably very unhappily, I still don’t want to be a home wrecker. I only do one last favor by taking a pic of Mueller’s junk for my girl back at the office, but a limp one doesn’t make any sense. I awkwardly put the shock collar around his penis and scrotum and zap it until his soft puppy turns rock hard.

A solid 7 inches... Maybe Patrick was happily married after all...

I undress the unconscious man, leaving only his brief and dress socks on, and put him in a silk robe, so that he could doze off the drug comfortably until morning, as a thank you for his cooperation. I pull out the cart out of the room, turn off the light and make a smooth escape, for another mission well-done.

[sunspira]

i actually wanna be clear that i know for sure that if i grew up jewish in 2010-2015 i would have been misguided in the same way a lot of tumblr was then not realizing how much propaganda about israel had been fed to me. the people who used to have a different perspective and used to believe in a lot of zionist propaganda, genuinely believing it made sense, but changed their minds due to recent events i love and respect you so much. it's really only the people on here who were parroting zionist propaganda back then but in recent months have only since doubled down and played the victim fuck you in particular

because it IS mixed in with the truth and the elements of truth combined with a lot of programming from well meaning people and encountering that your whole life actually is a genuinely confusing process because you have to unpack the valid points from the invalid ones which will take many years. like the kind of racism that is embraced in liberal spaces can be tricky for a very young adult especially when many neo nazis are vocally anti israel just for all the wrong reasons. so it seems like you're on the right side? when there's so much fact from fiction to break apart. (like true: jewish people wanting a homeland and refuge is very understandable (many other refuge diaspora living in america can relate to this), jewish people still have a lot of personal and cultural connection to their ancestral homeland that was once israel and it makes a lot of sense to want to visit or do a pilgrimage there or even move there. to palestine. to join palestine and become a citizen. it's true that antisemitism fueled zionism that religious & ethnic minority have been incredibly persecuted in both the middle east and europe and displaced. some jewish culture and art overlaps with palestinian culture on its own naturally due to common ancestors. and false: palestinian culture is interchangeable with jewish culture and any jewish person can grab from the art and culture of the modern levant like accessories cause it's yours now / your parents claimed it during their birthright trip so that's fine and not colonialism at all, mizrahi jewish peoples cultures are basically yours to play with. israel is exactly the same as the united states and the false idea that 400 years of colonialism and ethnic cleansing should be compared as exactly the same to 70 years of it and seen as equally unreasonable and a lost hope to change now so the only reason there's a push to prevent the same extent of genocide befalling palestine while we still can is antisemitism. everyone shut it and accept the two state solution.)

basically i'm saying i know for sure i was very ignorant on many things back then too and i'm sure i would have been in the same boat spreading zionist talking points without realizing how wrong i was. i'm sure i would have not understood the complexity of all this when this very effective propoganda would have been targeting my family and community for generations i wouldve heard so many reputable people in and out of the jewish community saying the two state solution is reasonable (i'm pretty sure i heard this a lot from gentile people i trusted and my parents have always been very clueless or middle ground unoppinionated about all things israel & Palestine. i always remember my mom meeting some shopkeepers running a bath and body boutique in martha's vineyard who said they were from israel and my mom was like "omg cool my dad was from lebanon 😄" all happy like oh! a neighbor. and they frowned at her so hard until she left the store jdjfjebf and my dad had to pull her aside and be like. don't go telling people that stuff if they are from israel they don't like lebanon very much. my dads family in NJ was always more involved with the local jewish community than any italian one because personality and profession wise i think that's just where they fit in and what the chemical and computer engineering scene looked like in the 50s 60s & 70s. i always got the impression the blue collar machismo italian american family was just a very alienating and poor match for my classically nerdy granpa and he found friends in other scenes that he could relate to. this guy was always mistaken for being jewish all his life and found it to be a compliment & just funny and was a member of a jewish gym or rec center or this and that, cause he liked it there and tbh i admire his embracing of others of whatever felt good and just focusing on being a person with lack of ethnic tribalism that runs pretty deep with many southern italian families. and white middle class gentile american discourse and propoganda is very pro israel so that was my family's relationship with it jewish or not. my lebanese grandpa was a proud veteran of world war 2 and very patriotic so if america was pro-israel that's how he was going to be too. all this to say i sure as hell didn't have any guidance growing up about israel being wrong if anything passive support of it and it took time to figure out my opposition to it on my own. at 18 i was still deeply ingrained in american propoganda and passive racism and patriotism in the midst of questioning and rejecting that stuff and grappling with seeing bad things in people i love so i don't expect my peers from the same or similar background to be any different)

so if you once had views supporting israel and don't anymore i don't dislike or judge you for it i really don't. some people might and i get that but like me personally I was nearly as clueless and have no place judging your for stuff i know would have mislead me at the time. i don't dislike or judge you for having gone on a birthright trip 10 years ago when you were 18 and everything you knew about the world was telling you that's completely fine and not harmful at all! i know i would have done the same.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Lotta cool things to say about August. The biggest is this:

Kimmer scored an A in her Bio Statistics course.

A very big deal. Like that young American hockey team beating the Russians at the Olympics many decades ago for the first time. 🤯

Kimmer got an A.

In Bio Statistics.

Make no mistake. Statistics has been her kryptonite all the way back to her undergrad years in college. It has always been thus. After college, when it was various graduate studies, she did everything she could to dodge those classes having done them already because they just did not compute for her.

And on and on and on and on 'n on.

So. 

What happened to break that pattern?

YouTube for one. A big one. In which you can absolutely find the people who communicate complex disciplines like statistics in ways that are easily understood by people who don't usually understand them.

The second reason for her success was, of course, her professor.

Can't understate enough.

So yeah. Like I said... this was a very very VERY big deal. 😁😁😁

Also, by the end of the month, this Quarter From Hell was officially over. Done. And by Quarter From Hell I'm taking about a period of educational pursuit that, even as it enables massive professional growth, still manages to profoundly kick your ass and forces you to consider just how long you can keep this up. 🤔🤨

We kicked off August with a lovely dinner at Mod Pizza in Lynnwood with one of Kimmer's custom concoctions that never disappoints. 🤩☺️

Couple nights later it's Joan Jett & The Blackhearts opening for Alanis Morissette's Triple Moon Tour at White River Amphitheater just a stone's throw from Auburn.

The tickets were a gift from Daughter Number 1 earlier in the year, something she knew her ol' mom 'n dad would dearly enjoy.

Which.

We.

Did.

Been a while, I won't lie. Been a while since we attended a proper concert of this scale. Joan Jett was definitely a lovely trip down memory lane atop iconic songs to which everyone still knows the lyrics...

And definitely sung 'um. 😁😁😁

The headliner, Alanis Morissette, produced a wildly big show, taking full advantage of nighttime that fully descended by her first song.

Coupla big screens to either side of the stage masterfully filled by a crew of camera ops. A big screen, back 'n center, onto which was projected imagery implicit and implied by the music and lyrics. A strip of sheer fabric, ten to fifteen feet wide that not only captured lights, shadows, and imagery, but also acted as a wall that could obscure the back of the stage. The lights, of course, highly choreographed. The sometimes frenetic motion of Morissette... so effective at focusing thousands of eyes in rapt and sometimes disbelieving attention.

Yeah. 

She and her band put on a show.

They put on a big show, and, like I said, it's been a while since we've experienced one.

And we very very very much appreciated the experience. 🤪🤩☺️

A small thing in August that's legitimately a very very big thing: we gotta new mechanic to handle the maintenance of our cars. It's been a while, is all I'm saying. During which time we used larger shops that were just fine... just not with the same personal touch.

So HUZZAH!!! 🤩

August 8 kicked off a triple shot of Little Lies performances: MUSIC AT THE MARINA on Thursday at the Everett Marina, SOUTH LAKE UNION BLOCK PARTY on Friday at Denny Park, and TASTE EDMONDS on Saturday at Civic Center Playfield.

The Little Lies is a Fleetwood Mac tribute band with which Linzy's performed since its formation in March of 2022. She plays keys, acoustic guitar, and handles all Christine McVie vocals.

Of the three parts of the triple shot this year, we made it to the Marina show in Everett and the Taste show in Edmonds both of which we enjoyed tremendously and both of which have become a yearly summer family tradition. We even share the Everett tradition with a dear friend of ours so it's extra special sweet. ☺️

A week later, August 16, Linzy's at Woodinville's Wine Alley for an outdoor performance that drew more engagement and requests than performing inside during a wine bar gig. The sound got to be louder, the summer crowd bigger, and a good time was had by all. There was even a group of adults sitting right next to Linzy on the patio of the wine bar next to her who remained right there for the entire three-hour set.

They even sang along to some of Linzy's Taylor Swift covers. 🤩

For myself, professionally, August was the continuation of a creative Renaissance. 

Ummm...

Maybe that's overstating a little.

For sure I'm having a lot of fun on the projects I'm crafting with old tools, new tools, an evolving creative mindset, and a bit of deep diving into all the resources I have at my command. 🤯

August 25 and we're celebrating the birthdays of two of our dear friends who're (conveniently) married to each other. So we have they, their three-year-old and their five-year-old over for the afternoon to just enjoy ourselves.

Relax.

Play.

Converse.

Dine.

Drink.

And enjoy dessert. Sending them home with exhausted children.

Talk about a WIN. 😉

August 29 we're with that same family at the Evergreen State fair, enjoying ride and snack experiences with their kids and hoping they hadn't suddenly made off to Jamaica with the couplehood we just afforded them. 🤣

We were also there for yet another Little Lies performance, this time a shorter set as they opened for a Led Zeppelin tribute band.

Gotta say: since this was technically a school night, the entire experience very much felt like playing hooky. 🤪

The next morning, August 30, I had to be early to work and so missed out on the inaugural ride of light rail from Lynnwood to the UW. At the end of the workday, though, I did take that ride in the opposite direction and it.

Was.

Magnificent.

Twenty-five minutes.

Didn't even have to hop over to a bus at Northgate. 🤯

And then it's August 31st on which I woke up in the morning believing yes, sincerely believing, that this was September 1.

Whoops.

Actually, September 1's today.

So onward!

😁

[taechaos]

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing. 

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it. 

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you. 

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back. 

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look.  “How long was the interaction anyway?” 

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything. 

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question. 

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?  

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur. 

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor. 

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm. 

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

[thewildwaffle]

Humans are Weird - Helium

It's been a while since I got a new story up. I'd been working on some other projects, then had some pretty unhappy life events happen. I am doing fine, so don't worry. Hopefully, now my muse is back and will stick around a while :)

This story is from a prompt ao3

*** *** ***

When you bring together a wide variety of races from different planets and environments, you tend to have an equally wide variety of needs that need to be met from species to species. Ships were typically staffed by a food and nutrients safety team. Custodial teams were careful about residual chemical and oil cross-contamination between particular races. Sections of hab suites had controlled ventilation systems that could be set to various atmospheric needs. Outside the hab suites, at work stations or in communal areas, some species have to be fitted with atmospheric filters. Over the years, these devices have gotten less uncomfortable, thankfully. They weren’t the best, they were a bit bulky, noisy, and in some cases obstructive to the wearer, but hey, being able to properly breathe on a ship with beings who had different atmospheric needs than you was more important than comfort. When the humans joined the galactic community, the newer filters started becoming noticeably smaller and less obtrusive. Many were concerned that the changes would make them less effective, but leave it to the humans to tinker around and invent the impossible when they really wanted to. The latest models were supposed to be so small and comfortable, you could sleep with them on. Heck for some races, you could barely tell they were wearing an atmospheric filter at all. Not only that, they were up to 40% more effective at filtration and gas delivery for many species. This opened up crew rosters for ships. Species who couldn't reasonably be stationed in the same ship due to the gases they breathe being dangerous to others, or vice versa could now be on the same crew.

That included duibs like Marvi who breathe large amounts of helium. She’d been serving aboard Galactic Coalition ships for more standard solar rotations than many of her fellow crewmates had been alive. It helped that duibs were long-lived, of course, and in her time, she’d seen many new technologies come and go. If you pressed her hard enough, she’d likely say that the atmospheric filters the humans developed were by far her favorite. Being able to safely and comfortably pass through different atmospheric biomes was an important ability when you had a long list of custodial and maintenance duties each rotation. Marvi huffed a deep sigh as she rounded another corner. Lighting beam replacements weren’t heavy, but maneuvering them around corners like this was a bit of a pain. “Need a helping paw Marvi?” Marvi turned to see a dark gray priso steadying the end lighting beam she was carrying. The furry face was relatively expressionless, but a clear look at his flicking whiskers and triangular, alert ears and bright eyes told her that he was holding back laughter. He must have just come up from around the other corner and seen the small duib struggling. “Oh, hello Aurrin. I definitely would appreciate some aid, though I would understand if you are busy right now,” Marvi replied politely. Honestly, the help would be very nice and she hoped the offer was serious. “I’m waiting for Human Karl, I can help until he gets here,” Aurrin rose to his back paws awkwardly and grabbed the ends of the light beams in his dexterous front paws. Priso were normally quadrupedal on flat ground, but the forested terrains of their homeworld meant they were at least somewhat adept at grabbing and climbing. He followed along, holding on to the light beams and kept them away from the walls and corners as the pair walked. “I was actually just installing something by the hab suites over there,” he tilted his head back to gesture behind them, “I’ve got something I wanted to test before I go off duty. After that, I’m looking forward to two whole cycles of rest and whatever I want to do.” The corridor here was darker and Marvi stopped walking. This was where she needed to replace the light beam. “Two whole cycles, huh?” She set down the light beam carefully, Aurrin following suit. She pulled out a tool from her hip pack and started working on opening the control panel. In order to open the panels to install the new light beams, she had to make sure power was redirected for safety. “What are you going to do with your time off? Any fun plans?” “A few plans. They might change depending on how my experiment goes.” Marvi worked quietly, waiting on the priso to expound, but other than chuckling to himself, he didn’t say anything more on the topic. Well, Marvi supposed it was not really her business, so she changed the subject and chatted cordially until the new light beam was installed and she rerouted power back to the panel. The darkened hall was filled with bright, cheerful light and Marvi let out a satisfied sigh. “Well, that’s that. Another task down.” The old light beam would need to be taken back to her shop for a repair and gas exchange, or refill, or whatever it ended up needing to get it up and running again. “Thank you again for your help. I should be able to get these back alright myself, I don’t want to take up too much of your time if you’ve still got your experiment to run.” From around the corner of the corridor, the distinct sound of a hab suite door opening was followed by approaching footsteps. A light on Aurrin’s comm device flashed and the priso’s long tail flicked excitedly back and forth. “No worries, it looks like my experiment is already underway.” Marvi felt the frills all along her body perk in curiosity, but before she could ask anything else, Human Karl rounded the corner. He grinned without showing his teeth, as it would have been a sign of aggression to many species on the ship, and gave a small wave as he approached. “Hey Karl,” Aurrin started. Marvi only partially listened as he started in on a spiel about his upcoming off-duty

plans. Instead, she was more interested in a quiet hissing noise and was trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. It sounded like… well it sounded almost like an atmospheric filter, one beside her own. Hers was in light operation since she was in a sector of the ship that was tuned to a generalized setting, but this noise sounded like a filter at full power output. Did Human Karl hear it? Could he hear it? Surely Aurrin could? She studied them, they didn’t seem to notice. The noise had started when Karl arrived, did that mean…? Her suspicions were confirmed the moment Karl opened his mouth to reply to Aurrin. “I’m actually on my way to…” What. The. Frewan? Human Karl’s voice, which was usually a calming deep tone, was disturbingly high and unnatural. The surprised expression on his face made Marvi’s core freeze. That meant this vocal change wasn’t some weird human thing? What was going on?! “I, woah,” the squeaky voice stuttered, “is this… helium? What is this? What’s going on?” He looked at the comm device strapped to his wrist and pulled up the readout. Sure enough, it was an increase of helium output from his atmospheric filter. The skin on his forehead wrinkled as he looked from the readout to Marvi and Aurrin, his eyes finally locking on the latter who was fiddling with something on his own comm device readout. “You punk! How did you do this? Change it back!” Karl started laughing a bit, Marvi wasn’t sure if it was directed at the ridiculousness of his voice or if it was because the helium was affecting his cognitive functions. She worried it was the latter. Panicking, Marvi approached to see if there was some sort of override. She had to act fast! Humans didn’t breathe helium, he could die! Before she could do anything though, Aurrin spoke up while trying to muffle his laughter. “Okay, okay, hoooo… I’ve deactivated it, you’re good. Keep talking though while your voice turns back to normal, you’re hilarious.” Karl gave him a look that Marvi couldn’t interpret. “What was that? How did you do that?” His voice was already back to normal and it sounded like a mix between annoyed, intrigued and amused. “When you came out of your hab suite, you passed a sensor I set up that overrode your atmospheric filter controls. My latest invention. Imagine this: a ship gets attacked and boarded. Normal defenses prove insufficient and the crew is in grave danger. As the hostiles pass hidden sensors, their atmospheric filters are overridden and they fall asleep, get loopy and confused, or simply pass out before they can get to and harm any crew.” Marvi and Karl blinked in unison while Aurrin’s tail swept side to side proudly. Marvi was the first to find words. “Your… your experiment?” Marvi glanced between Aurrin and Karl worriedly, “Is this what you were experimenting with? You ran it on a crewmate?!” “Well,” Aurrin’s ears pulled back slightly, but his whiskers still kept their amused look, “I say experiment pretty loosely. This was more of a field test. I ran all the actual experiments long ago. I knew exactly what would happen. And I did research on humans and I found out what effects helium has on them and I had to see it for myself. That’s why I was waiting for Karl.” The human in question was still laughing a bit - of course, a human would be able to laugh after nearly being asphyxiated, they’re crazy - before he ran his hand over his head to compose himself. “So this was a prank?” “For science.” “Of course. For science.” Karl’s smile suddenly morphed into a thoughtful frown. “Wait. Is this payback for the soap thing I pulled on you last week?” Aurrin’s face was statuesque and solemn as he stared silently at the human for a moment. “Yes.” “You’re the worst.” “Thank you.” “Want to go do this again in front of Aylin? She and Maruti-kar would think it’s hilarious.” “I had been planning on it. But only if we can get video evidence of it.” “For science?” “Naturally.” Marvi watched, hearts still beating rapidly from her panic, as Aurrin and Karl deactivated and retrieved the sensor to reenact the stunt she had just been a witness

to. Almost reflexively, she started tracing the side of her atmospheric filter. The quiet hum and hiss were calming. Helium to her was life. She’d thought it was toxic to others. And yet Aurrin thought it fine to use it on a human, and Karl was not only unworried about it but found it funny. Was it not dangerous?! And his voice? Why did it do that? She pulled up a search screen on her comm device and searched in the human database. Helium. Breathing. Voices. Apparently, helium took up space in their lungs that normally would be filled by oxygen, so yes, it was dangerous because they could asphyxiate. It also amplified higher-pitched tones of their vocal tract while simultaneously dampening lower tones because of the gas’s low density. That explained the voice change. And for some reason, the funny noise was enough of a reason to play around with deadly materials. Well, if anything, she supposed humans did keep to their MO pretty well. She picked the spent light beams back up and headed back to her shop, careful to not hit the ends on any walls or corners.

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[nightwishesworld]

Food Poisoning

What’s that? I should be working on the 12+ asks in my inbox instead of doing my own stuff??? Whoopsie

In all fairness I’m not super proud of this anyway, so I guess it balances itself out

“It must have been quite the night for Daniela to be sleeping in this late,” you say over your morning coffee.

“Was it?” Cassandra, ever the lady, asked while a mouthful of breakfast. “I didn’t realize she went out to hunt.”

Bela nodded as she sipped her tea. “She looked a little worse for wear after dinner, don’t you think, Mother?”

“I noticed that as well, yes. I hope she’s not falling ill.”

“Wait, can vampires even get sick?”

“Not if they’re careful enough. But in short, yes, my dear, it is very possible. If our food is less than healthy when ingested we will get sick. Nothing major, rather similar to food poisoning in fact.”

“Ok, well should we go check your stocks? Maybe she ate something rancid.”

Alcina shook her head. “I’m sure she’s fine, y/n. It’s probably just one of those days for her. Besides, if she were ill that means all of us would be as well, and I don’t know about you girls, but I feel perfectly fine this morning.”

Both Cassandra and Bela nodded along.

“Unless she ate that weird guy she abducted from the bar. Maybe he wasn’t just drunk? He could have been sick. Also, I hate how blasé I’ve become to you guys eating people. You’ve officially numbed me.”

Alcina rolled her eyes at your dramatics while the girls giggled. “What are the odds of that, though? Consuming the only subject in the entire basement that hasn’t been thoroughly tested.”

You share a look with Bela and Cassandra. “You remember who we’re talking about, right Alcina?”

She exhales slowly, blowing tiny ripples on the surface of her wine. “Goddammit, I suppose I should go check on her.”

You already stood from your seat. “No, no you just sat down; I’ll go. What are the odds, anyway? Daniela is smarter than that.”

It was a short walk to Daniela’s chambers once you made it upstairs. You know you’re going to find her ill in bed, you just know it. The thrill of the kill makes her reckless even in the best of times. You know for a fact she devoured that weird old man the very night she dragged him home. Now your only hope is she’s not cursed with anything more than a stomach ache.

The putrid smell of stomach acid reeked even outside Daniela’s closed door. On instinct you wanted to rush in there and help her, but who’s to say she isn’t asleep? The smell could have been from last night and she was just too exhausted to clean it up before passing out. Not that that made you feel any better. Poor Daniela sicker than a dog all by herself with no one to hold her hair up or rub her back.

You steadied yourself enough to knock a couple of times before opening the door a crack. Just enough to be able to peek through.

“Daniela?” No answer.

It doesn’t look like she’s in bed either. Then you heard the retching. You wasted no time rushing in to find her hunched over a wastebasket on the floor. You gathered her hair away from her face, kneeled down next to her, and tried desperately to ignore the smell. The last thing needed is both of you throwing up.

“Are you alright, darling?”

It was a stupid question, but the words left your mouth before you could censor yourself. That didn’t stop the redhead from glaring up at you. Her eyes were glossy and red, probably from lack of sleep.

You waited a few minutes while her breathing steadied before letting go of her. “Will you be ok while I go get your mother?”

She gave a single nod.

You rush out of the room and head for the stairs. You consider rushing down and risk tripping over yourself but ultimately decide to tell for her.

“ALCINA!”

She was heading up the stairs almost immediately after you called like she was waiting for you to do so. “She’s retching on the floor.” Alcina sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I was really hoping you were wrong.” “Me too. What should we do?” Alcina opened the door to her daughter’s bedroom and immediately rushed to her side. “My poor darling, what happened?” All Daniela could bring herself to do was shake her head. Alcina kissed her temple. “I think that old drunk expired and no one told him.” That got a smile on Daniela’s lips. Alcina proceeded to wipe the dribbles of bile off her daughter’s lips with her dress. You entered the room but kept your distance from the pair. Both because you wanted to give them space and because the smell was making you nauseous. If it's making you feel sick then you can't imagine how crummy Daniela is feeling. "Why don't you bring her to our room and I'll clean this mess up."

"Don't worry about that, y/n. I'll deal with it later. Right now I need you to go tell Bela and Cassandra to ready themselves for a trip down to the village. I need the old witch to brew a few tonics for Daniela." You nodded quickly and start hurrying out of the room. "Make sure Bela brings her glass vials!"

The girls departed for the village with haste. They said it's been decades since any of them fell ill and any herbs or tonics they had laying around the castle would have lost their effect years ago. You panicked a bit when Cassandra asked what she should be asking the witch for cause you had absolutely no idea. Before you gave yourself a panic attack trig to figure it out, Bela reassured you she knew what to do. Some items could only be obtained from the witch's hut, which is where Cassandra was being sent, while others could be purchased in the village shops.

As soon as you saw them off you busied yourself with cleaning Daniela's room. It took a while, way longer than it should have, but it got done and that's all that matters. The smell was putrid enough standing in the doorway so being right in the middle of it made you really nauseous. Scrubbing the smell out of the wooden floorboards took up most of your morning, but making Daniela happy and comfortable was well worth the effort.

You rewarded yourself with a hot shower for your valiancy though. After you freshened up you found everyone curled up together in the library. Daniela was laying on her back, with her head resting on her mother's lap as she read a book. Bela was curled up in a ball next to Alcina while Cassandra laid stretched out on the floor with her chin resting on Alcina's knee. It was probably the cutest thing you've ever seen. Not wanting to ruin such a wholesome family interaction you quietly exited the library before any of them noticed you were there.

The next few days passed like this. Alcina was driving herself to exhaustion making sure Daniela was as comfortable as possible and you did the same to her in turn. The easiest way to get the matriarch to relax was by giving her a back massage. You straddled her bare back and slowly kneaded away at her aching muscles. Her occasional sounds of pleasure encourage your ministrations.

"How can one woman have so many knots?"

"I don't know; stress, work, lack of sleep, posture?"

You laugh. "Wasn't actually looking for an answer, Al. And don't try to tell me you haven't been sleeping. I haven't been sleeping because your snoring keeps waking me up."

Alcina turned to give you a look of disgust. "I do not snore."

"You do when you're stressed. Weirdest thing, by the way."

She opened her mouth to respond but only let out a pained hiss as you moved down to her shoulder blades.

"Too much?"

"No, just sore. You can keep going."

"Yeah, I can see that. I'm just trying to get your muscles to relax, nothing crazy."

Alcina sighs and relaxes back into the pillows.

"I'm gonna start going a little harder, ok? It's getting better, but try to not hold your breath if you can help it."

Alcina lets out a long exhale in submission. She hadn't even realized she was holding it in. The way you were moving your hands down her body made her cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"Sorry, Love."

"Don't worry about it, just keep going."

A comfortable silence passes between the two of you. Your mind wanders back to Daniela. It was surreal to see her moping around the castle.

"Do you think Daniela would like a backrub? I heard her say her body aches earlier."

"That's sweet though, my love, but let's just leave her be for now. I think she finally succumbed to the tonics."

"Ah, I understand. Is she feeling any better?"

Alcina shakes her head into the pillow. "Not yet, but the tonics are helping keep her stomach calm."

You feel the weight of an anvil release from your chest. "Thank the gods, I really don't want to clean up any more sick."

"No one told you to in the first place."

"I know. I just thought she would want to be comfy in her own room."

"I appreciate everything you're doing for her, y/n. Daniela does too, she's just not great at vocalizing it."

"She doesn't have to. I'll gladly take care of my family."

One night you come home from the village really late at night and come home to find Daniela snuggling with Alcina in bed. It’s the sweetest sight.

Alcina’s got an arm wrapped around Daniela’s middle, holding her close but not suffocatingly so. Daniela’s head is tucked under her mother’s chin, face buried in her neck.

You take in the sight before moving to give Alcina a kiss on the cheek (you would Daniela too but don’t want to wake her. She needs all the sleep she can get.) and move to leave for a guest bedroom just down the hall.

Alcina stirs and you apologize for waking her.

“I was only dozing,” she whispers.

“I’m sorry I’m so late. Mihaela was accepting drinks left and right, I had to make sure she got home safe.”

“How noble of you.” Alcina lets out a lion’s yawn.

“Go back to bed, Love. I’ll check on you both in the morning.”

“Daniela was waiting for you to come back, but fell asleep.” Alcina turned her attention back to her youngest daughter and kissed her sweaty temple.

“She feeling any better?”

“Her fever did go down a bit, so we’re on the road to recovery. A slow and winding road, but going in the right direction nonetheless.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god. She was starting to really scare me. Do you think we should call that old bat up here to take a look at her? What if she doesn’t get better soon, then what?”

“But she is, darling. I just told you her fever is down. She still has a little bit of a fever, but progress is progress. In a few day's time, she will be much better.”

“You’re probably right,” you lean over Alcina and brush loose strands of hair out of Daniela’s face. “I just wish I could do more. I’d rather it be me instead of poor Daniela.”

“I’d rather it be neither of you,” Alcina mumbled.

“It’s just so scary to see her like this; so vulnerable and weak...”

“I’m not weak.” A groggy mumbling came from Alcina’s chest.

“Hey, Daniela, how are you feeling? Any better?”

The redhead nodded into her mother’s neck. “A little.”

“Good,” you smile. “You go back to sleep now, ok? I’ll come to check on you in the morning.”

“Wher’re you goin?”

“I’m gonna go sleep in a guest room so you can be with your mother.”

The hand wrapped around Alcina’s waist comes to grab your wrist. She said something but you couldn’t make it out. All you heard was muffled groaning.

“Don’t worry, Dani. This way you can have the whole side of the bed to yourself. I’ll come to check on you in the morning.”

She didn’t let go.

“Don’t you wanna be alone with your mother? I really don’t mind, Daniela, honestly.”

Daniela buried herself deeper under the covers. “You don’t understand. I-I want...both.”

“Both what?”

Daniela didn’t say anything. She only cuddled into Alcina’s chest.

Oh....OH!

You clamped a hand down on Alcina’s arm, unknowingly digging your nails into her skin.

“Are...are you sure, Dani?”

The redhead nodded into her mother, who then answered for her.

Your stomach fluttered with the wings of a thousand butterflies. Daniela never referred to you as a parental figure before, let alone call you her mother. “Alright then. If you’re sure that’s what you want.” You move to your side of the bed and crawled in, careful not to press against her too much.

Daniela lets put an irritated groan and reaches behind her to grab your arm and wrap it around herself. Yanking you against her along the way. She must be really sick. Since when did Daniela Dimitrescu demand cuddles? Especially from you. The only thing she ever demanded of you was to help her sharpen weapons or make up with Alcina after an argument.

She wriggled away from Alcina just enough to feel you behind her. She was still sandwiched pretty tight between the two of you, but if this is what she wants you aren’t complaining. She brought your hand up towards her chest so as to keep it away from her cramping stomach.

Her head was tucked in under your chin because you didn't want to breathe all over the back of her neck. Daniela was beyond glad you were still holding onto her, even though she would never say it out loud.

You made sure to tell her you would let go of her if cuddling got too hot, or cold, or stifling for her. The redhead groaned a response and nodded into Alcina’s chest.

Rather than having your arms wrapped around her, (that implied a certain amount of pressure) your arm was laying over her side and bent to her form without any sort of pressure so Daniela wouldn't feel trapped or constricted. Really more draped over her than wrapped around her.

But she was holding onto your forearm tight to keep you there even if she shifted somewhat frequently because she wanted you to stay.

“I’m sorry you have to feel like this, Daniela. I hope you start to feel better.” You threw caution to the wind and kissed the top of her head. To your surprise, Daniela cuddled further into you. It absolutely melted you.

You pepper her head with kisses. “My poor darling. I wish I could make it all go away.”

Alcina smiles warmly at the display as she repositions herself comfortably against the pillows. She leans forward to kiss the top of Daniela's head. "Promise me you'll wake us if you need anything?"

Daniela nods into her chest.

"Or if you can't fall asleep," you add.

Alcina leaned forward to kiss you goodnight, accidentally smothering her daughter in her chest. "Goodnight, my loves. Sleep well."

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

A Deafened Bard (Stephen Strange x Female!Reader) pt. 2

Doctor Strange and y/n confide their tragic backstories in one another. Y/n struggles with her feelings for him.

Trigger warnings: abusive parenting, use of firearms, discussion of death and grief, mention of alcoholism

"On the outside, always looking in

Will I ever be more than I've always been?

Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass-"

You stopped yourself before you could indulgently belt out the titular lyric.

"Ew, why was I singing that?" You muttered to yourself. "I don't even like that song." 

You knew, subconsciously, that it was because you were trying to avoid what you really wanted to sing. For the first time ever, you had an audience. Someone was paying attention. 

"Love of my life, you've hurt me-"

"Oh, come on, butterfingers." He interrupted. "Love of my Life by Freddie Mercury. Give me something hard." 

"I wasn't aware it was classic rock trivia night." 

"Then why were you staring straight at me while singing?" He smirked. 

"Was I?" You cocked your head, expertly deflecting his implication. "I'm so spaced out I don't even know where I'm looking." 

"It's Freddie Mercury." He insisted.

"Uh, yes and no." You corrected, drawing on your encyclopedic knowledge of Queen from one particularly weird summer in high school. "While Freddie Mercury wrote the song, it was recorded on a Night at the Opera. Which was accredited to the whole band." 

"That's a nitpick," he shook his head. "I'm still right." 

You couldn't wear your heart on your sleeve anymore. You could only distract him with 70s glam rock trivia for so long before he started to notice a pattern. Although a sappy love song was in your heart, you sang the anthem of the depressed theater kid. 

You were staring straight at him, though. But who wouldn't? You studied his features only for artistic inspiration. His sharp jaw and high, high cheekbones were… inspiring. 

You couldn't lie to yourself. You fell and fell hard.

"Butterfingers!" Master Strange called out from the other side of the sanctum. "I need you!" 

You dropped your pencil and pushed yourself out from the chair. "Coming!" 

You followed the voice into his chambers. This was a new development, you thought. Out of respect for his privacy, you'd never dared to snoop around in his bedroom. But this was practically a written invitation. 

The room was spotless. Not a book or a scrap of paper out of place. Nor was there much to look at at all. A handful of picture frames, some magazines from when he was a surgeon, all featuring himself on the cover. 

"Butterfingers!" He called again, as if he knew you were about to snoop.

"I'm here!" You yelled back, eyes wandering around the room. "What do you need?" 

"I left my watch somewhere in the library!" He sounded disproportionately panicked for what was just a minor inconvenience. "I need you to go get it for me." 

"What does it look like?" You asked. 

"It's a $27,000 watch." He snapped impatiently. "It looks like one." 

"Jesus." You cursed.

"Don't give me that shit, [F/N]." He ordered, slamming his fist down against the sink. "Just do what you're goddamn told." 

"Alright, alright!" You put your hands up. "Fine, I'll get it." 

You hurried down the stairs and into the library. On the floor between his favorite chair and a stack of musty old books was a slim, silvery watch with a plain black band.

You picked it up and examined it. Apart from the price tag, was there really any reason for him to be so worried about it? He knew exactly where he left it. Did he have reason to believe it wouldn't be there when he returned? 

All you needed to do was flip it over to get your answer. You read the inscription on the back. 

Time will tell how much I love you -- Christine 

You should have known that his massive ego wouldn’t keep the women away forever. Hell, it certainly didn’t deter you. Much uglier douchebags have gotten far prettier girlfriends than they deserved.

You closed your fingers around the watch and sighed. The fantasy you created for yourself, of slowly, deliberately earning his love was shattered. Christine already beat you to it, it seemed. You tried to smother the part of you that resented this person for her exclusive right to Master Strange's affections. You didn't know her, but you loathed her. And you felt filthy for it.

With a heavy heart, you brought the stupid, criminally expensive little timepiece back to its rightful owner. 

"Here's your all-important watch, master." You mumbled, placing it on the bedside table. 

"I know I told you I would give you space to question things," He said, swiping it from the table and expertly affixing it around his wrist. "But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't question this." 

You tried to sound as non-passive-aggressive as you could. You attempted a more forgiving tone, but you couldn't hide your hurt. "It's fine. I don't care." 

"I didn't mean to get short with you, [F/N]." His voice softened. "I'm sorry. But this watch-" 

"It's fine." You cut him off, peering at the floor. 

"It was a gift." He finished anyway. 

You felt the lump in your throat rising. You knew what the watch represented and you wanted to smash it to pieces. Along with the sting of rejection, you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. "I know. I saw the engraving."

"She died two years ago." He lowered his head. 

Suddenly, all your ill will towards this woman turned into guilt. 

"I'm sorry to hear that." You said. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone who loved you so much." 

"She had agreed to come to a speaking engagement with me. As a second chance, and-" Pain wrapped his voice. He closed his hand tightly around the watch and held it close to his chest. "Have you ever been in love before, [F/N]?"

From the way your heart ached, and how easily the thought of never being with him made you cry, you knew the answer. You'd been avoiding speaking it into being thus far, but you couldn't lie to yourself anymore.

"Yes." You whispered. 

"You'll learn soon enough." He muttered. "It only brings more suffering." 

The tears finally breached and you tried to blink them away. You didn't know what emotion was causing them: guilt, shame, contempt, anger, sadness-- they were all present.

"Master Strange, I-" you stuttered, tripping over your breath. "I respect what you've gone through, I really do, but it's not fair to take it out on me." 

"You're right." He conceded. "I'm sorry. Please, go get some sleep.”

You nodded. “Right.” 

You slept as late as you could get away with the next morning. In apprentice terms, that only meant sleeping until eight thirty. Your dailies could wait an extra hour while you laid in bed, feeling like garbage. 

You stumbled down the spiral staircase in your pajamas. No bra, no makeup and no effort. You didn’t even run a brush through your hair. Why try, you thought. Why make an effort for the man who would never see you as anything but the help? 

When you saw the piano, though, you did a full 180.

In the living area was a French cherry baby grand piano that definitely was not there before. You certainly would have noticed it before. You placed your phone on the counter and approached the new addition. 

As if the memories were woven into the very muscles and ligaments of your fingers, you ran down a few octaves of C Major. The keys were smooth as porcelain and the sound that emanated from the instrument was next to heavenly. 

A bright orange post-it note was stuck to the music rack. 

“Love of my Life”, Queen, A Night at the Opera. 1975 

Was this a request, or an admission of wrong? Whatever the case, it made you smile. 

"You weren't being entirely honest with me, Butterfingers." He said, randomly materializing behind you. 

You turned around on the piano bench and looked up at him. "What was I not honest about?" 

"I'm so glad you asked." He sat down on the bench next to you, phone in hand. "Because when you said you used to play piano, you didn't specify you were actually a student prodigy." 

Sure enough, on his phone, he was scrolling through your Instagram. Dozens of videos of a much younger [F/N] playing hundreds of different songs, singing with too many vocal runs and doing so with the entire content of her soul behind the music. 

"Student prodigy is a bit strong." You turned your head to hide your blush. 

He scrolled up and found a picture of a young, zit-faced teenage [F/N] holding an acceptance letter. "Last I checked, Juilliard doesn't give full-ride scholarships to just anyone." 

You covered your face with your hands, smothering an embarrassed smile. "God, please. I'd rather you'd found my OnlyFans." 

He raised his eyebrows. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd still rather hear your explanation on this. Why did you give up on something you loved?"

You looked at him in surprise. "You really want to know?" 

"Well, I told you mine." He playfully nudged you in the side. 

You took a deep breath in. "Well, it was about two years ago, now-”

"Cheers to you, [F/N]!" Your best friend Holly raised her glass of champagne in your direction. "Juilliard ain't gonna know what hit ‘em."

"I'll drink to that." You said, bring your own flute up to your lips and taking a swig. You wretched in disgust as the vile liquid ran down your throat. "Or maybe I won't."

"You're gonna have to get used to it." Holly nudged you with her elbow. "I think most professional musicians are alcoholics."

You narrowed your eyes at her. "I don't think that's right."

"Is too." She smirked. "Conductors are mad strict. Abusive even. Drive musicians to drink all the time."

You laughed. "Is everything you know about the world of music from Whiplash?"

"And The Perfection." She added.

"Thank you, Holly." You said, attempting to take another sip of champagne, purely for dramatic effect. "Very cool."

You felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. "Hi, Holly. Enjoying the party?"

Holly took a step back. "Hey, Mrs. [L/N]. Yeah, it's great."

"I hope you don't mind," Your mom said, her fake nice voice eeking through her clenched teeth. "I need to borrow [F/N] for a few minutes."

Holly's face fell. "Sure. I'll catch up with you later, [F/N]."

Your mother tugged you off to the side. With a stressed huff, she began. "Jason is out in the fields with his ROTC friends."

"And what do you want me to do about that?" You asked, knowing her drunk self couldn't read your sarcastic tone.

"Could you go get him and bring him home?" She said, squeezing your upper arm.

"Are you kidding?" You spat.

"[F/N], he's drunk." She scolded. "Do you want him to get another strike on his record?"

"I don't care." You mumbled under your breath. "Have him call an uber. Hell, let him sleep it off in the field. Not my problem."

"You know what he's like when he's drunk." She rationalized. "He gets rowdy. It had better be you."

You tensed up. "No. Holly and I are going to the French Quarter. I don't have time to babysit Jason."

"Just pick him up on your way there?" She pleaded. "It won't take long."

You knew this wasn't going to stop. "Fine, but this is the last time."

You were both dressed far too well to be trekking through the swampy ass nowhere when you should have been fucking your way through the French Quarter. Luckily for your evening plans, all you needed to do was follow the sound of gunshots.

You slammed the car door shut and Holly followed suit. Finding him was the easy part. The hard part was hauling his drunk ass back home.

"Fun's over, shithead." You announced, heels sinking into the sod as you spoke. You didn't have much trouble projecting over the gunfire and getting their attention.

"Shit, [F/N]?" Jason sputtered, so drunk he could barely keep his head straight.

"Holy shit, I didn't even recognize you in that dress." One of his dumb fuck friends added. He jabbed Jason in the side. "Why didn't you tell me your sister's hot?"

"Buster, I-'' You clenched your teeth. "I don't care if you live or die, but my mom needs me to bring Jason home."

"If you get in the car now, we won't have to use the chloroform." Holly added.

Jason scratched the back of his head with the barrel of his gun, then pointed it at you. "You're gonna have to make me."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You exclaimed, hitting the deck. "What the fuck, Jason!?"

Jason and his dumbass friends laughed. "You should have seen the look on your face, [F/N]!"

"Put down the fucking gun-" You seethed. "And get in the fucking car."

He lowered the gun and looked like he was going to concede. Just when you thought he would cooperate, he stuck it up again. He keeled over in a fit of laughter when you and Holly panicked again.

"Look at them!" He shouted. "They're so fucking scared!"

You knew out in the middle of the swamp, nobody could hear you scream. So you used it to your advantage.

"Jason, you're going in the car, or under it." You raised your voice. "I will mow your drunk ass down like eight day old roadkill right here in this field and you will be LUCKY if anyone finds your bloated, shit-covered remains before the crocodiles get a whiff of you."

That seemed to get his attention.

"Sorry, boys." He pouted. "You heard her."

He had to 'get you' one final time, though. Only that time, the gun went off. Just centimeters from your ear. You clutched the side of your head, trying to drown out the deafening ringing with your screams.

You vaguely remembered Holly pistol-whipping Jason before loading you into the car to drive you to the hospital, leaving him desolate and drunk in the field.

"It was a one-in-a-million shot." The otolaryngologist tried not to sound impressed at what was clearly some kind of anomaly very few got to witness in a medical career. "When the bullet fired, the gunpowder traveled down your ear canal, burning the cells of your auditory nervous system and... singing your eardrum... clean off."

Your eyes widened. "Off?!"

The doctor lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Miss [L/N]. I'm afraid you'll never return to full hearing again."

You didn't want to kill the messenger. You knew she was only doing her job. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"If we could do a tympanoplasty, which, given the condition of the drum, is unlikely-" she began. "There would still be no way to fully repair the hair cells along the ear canal."

You took deep breaths to try and quell your simmering rage. "I'm leaving for Juilliard in three months."

"Hearing aid technology has improved significantly over the last decade." She said, a somewhat hopeful upturn in her voice.

That was when your mother decided to join in on the conversation. "Oh, we can't afford that."

You thought you were going to crush your teeth into bits from how tightly your jaw was clenched in fury. "Take it out of Jason's college fund, then."

"Oh, [F/N]." She said as if you had just told the funniest joke imaginable. "Please. That wouldn't be fair to Jason."

"You can afford to send that blithering idiot to the Citadel." You hissed. "You can afford to buy me a hearing aid so I can play piano."

"Beethoven was entirely deaf." Your mom pointed out. "And he became the greatest composer of all time. It's really just mind over matter, sweetie-"

"Sure, that makes perfect sense!" You plastered on a deranged smile, feeling driven to the brink of madness. "I can repair my destroyed eardrum with the power of positive thinking! Jason gets thirty-five thousand dollars a year to play soldier, but I have to just use my imagination."

She covered her face with her hands as if she was being attacked and went into kicked-puppy mode. "Don't be mad at Jason, [F/N]. He didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Fuck this." You said, releasing all your tension in those two words. "Fuck all of this. I'm tired of you defending that chauvinist asshole. The next time you see me will be when one of us is dead."

"Where are you going?!" She wailed.

You snatched your purse from the table and threw it over your shoulder. "I'm moving out."

“Disgraced at age nineteen?" Master Strange said, leaning back on the piano. "Let me guess, you turned to alcohol to cope?"

"You'd think, but actually no." You shook your head. The tone of the conversation had taken a sharp left turn from sadness to dry, apathetic amusement. "I probably would have if I could have afforded it."

"You missed out." He said. "Drinking a whole bottle of eighty year old scotch was definitely the highlight of my grieving period."

You'd never joined the clauses 'Master Strange' and 'drunk off his ass' in the same sentence before then. It was an odd mental picture for sure. One you needed to see to believe.

"I got desperate." You admitted. "Luckily, New Orleans had a lot to offer someone like me, so I didn't have to go far to find people claiming to have answers. But it was all essential oils, incense, binaural beats-"

"I'm sorry," he cut in. "What kind of dickhead suggests binaural beats to someone with only one functioning ear?"

You threw up your hands. "Right? Doesn't make sense. Anyway, I came across a woman named Mistress Fantina and she pointed me in the right direction. How to heal my body through control of my spirit."

He looked at you with that fascination of the human body characteristic of those in the medical field. "It worked, I assume?"

"I figured it out." You shrugged. "But I got so invested in the Mystic Arts that I forgot all about Juilliard. Became a full-time student. Ever since, I never once thought about returning to my old life."

"I suppose if I'd discovered this world because I had lost, say, my ability to perform surgery, it would be hard to leave it behind and return to the operating room." He thought out loud. Sighing, he closed his hand over his watch. "But no matter how medical science evolves, you can't reverse death."

You let the quiet linger for a moment.

[shihalyfie]

A meta and analysis on Yagami Taichi

Being the face of Adventure and arguably the rest of the franchise, Taichi has the honor of being an important figure in the realm of shounen anime overall, which has the unfortunate side effect of very often being described with things that don’t actually match him at all -- the way people often talk about him (especially mainstream press) tends to portray him like a stereotypical shounen hero who charges aggressively into everything and is hot-blooded all of the time. That’s not...quite on the mark.

I think “impulsive” is certainly a correct way to describe him, but in a very different way than one might think -- and, in fact, Taichi is much more of a multifaceted character than he’s often pigeonholed as. How? Well, let’s talk about it!

Taichi in Adventure

The main reason it’s probably incorrect to call Taichi “hot-blooded” by nature is that, in actuality, he is far more often too chill than otherwise. It’s not that he aggressively charges into everything without any rhyme or reason! Rather, it’s more like he takes everything very easily and has a “don’t worry about it!” attitude.

In fact, I think our friend the Animation Chronicle explains it better than I can:

If he doesn’t know/understand something, he acts while he tries to figure it out...

So in other words, rather than our conventional version of “being impulsive” meaning beelining to the most aggressive possible action, rather, it’s more like “the first thing that pops into his head” -- even if it’s a fairly easygoing or relatively harmless-seeming solution, he just goes for it because it sounds like it’ll work and he doesn’t see any reason why not.

That said, it’s also made abundantly clear by multiple sources that his ideas do come with some kind of consideration:

From the Animation Chronicle: “He appears to move with reckless abandon, but he actually does take in his surroundings and he takes good care of his juniors in the soccer club.” 

From the Adventure novels: “Taichi treated everyone without discrimination, as equals. That attitude of his didn’t change, even towards Koushiro. If Taichi hadn’t invited him, Koushiro was sure that he would have never gone to summer camp.”

Sora and Koushirou even back this up personally in Adventure episode 16, when Koushirou points out that Taichi had always been kind to his juniors, and Sora recalls an incident when he’d foregone an opportunity to score a goal because he’d known Sora was more likely to pull it off successfully.

So in other words, Taichi is, fundamentally speaking, not someone who does things for personal glory, but does want to work for other people’s sake. It’s just that, in trying to carry that out, he has a tendency to default to the first thing that pops into his head. Or in other words, Taichi’s primary way of thinking is “act first and figure out the details later” -- and this has both good and bad things about it.

Firstly, the fact that Taichi has such an “action-first” philosophy means that he’s capable of acting very practically in situations when others would freeze up. A very good example of this is Adventure episode 21; after angsting for half an episode considering quitting the fighting and enjoying his life at home, the moment he realizes that everyone else will be in danger if he leaves everyone be, he immediately instinctively steps in to help everyone. It’s not necessarily that Taichi doesn’t feel the stress or danger of fighting; it’s just that when he sees the practical impact of people he cares about getting hurt in front of him, all bets are off, because he needs to help people now.

The second thing is that, as Koushirou points out, he’s very kind to his juniors, and people in general -- he doesn’t really pay much mind to things like seniority, and is more concerned about treating everyone in accordance to their practical capabilities. This means that he’s someone who has a certain sense of charisma, especially since he’s appreciative of people’s abilities.

This is best indicated in Adventure episode 28, when two important things about Taichi are brought to the forefront:

Taichi’s natural charisma and ability to appeal to people makes him someone good at “bringing people together” -- indicated by the fact that the group hadn’t taken long to completely fall apart after he’d momentarily departed in Adventure episode 20, but came back together after he’d rallied them. The Adventure kids, coming from rather different social circles and backgrounds, were not originally the type to stay together or be particularly tight with each other by default, and so, during the first half of the series when they still had ways to go in terms of having any kind of meaningful bond with each other, they were unconsciously dependent on the charismatic Taichi to keep them together.

Taichi is a “natural leader” in every sense -- “leader” meaning not only someone who pushes people forward, but also someone who recognizes others’ abilities and is willing to delegate rather than trying to do everything by himself. This was briefly demonstrated in Sora’s Adventure episode 16 flashback when she remembers that Taichi willingly gave up the opportunity for a goal when he understood she could do it better (it’s reflected in his soccer position, too), but also here in Adventure episode 28, he gives the task of solving the card puzzle to Koushirou because he (correctly) determines that Koushirou, not himself, is best equipped to do the job. Also note that the episode makes clear that everyone agrees to it specifically because Taichi appointed him to the position -- much like how “understanding everyone’s abilities and delegating properly” is an important and necessary skill for a leader, everyone trusts Taichi to make that decision, and therefore trusts in Koushirou because he was appointed by said well-informed decision.

So those are the good things about him. What about the drawbacks?

The first is that Taichi is, unfortunately, a little emotionally insensitive. He doesn’t mean badly, of course -- you can’t deny that his penchant for teasing or trolling people makes him quite a fun person to be around -- but he tends to lack a bit of emotional insight and is prone to crossing the line with his remarks. Again, this is a symptom of him being too chill about things at times; he tends to react with “what’s the big deal?!” -- a statement that one should absolutely not say when arguing with someone, and which tends to get Taichi in hot water, especially with Yamato.

While the trope of “the shounen hero and the cool rival often having friction” is quite common in anime like this, Adventure’s play on it is actually quite different from how it would usually be played elsewhere. In most other shounen anime, this kind of relationship would have to do with something like the hot-blooded protagonist wanting to charge in and the cool-headed person wanting to be more “rational” about it, but in Adventure, Taichi and Yamato are pit against each other due to reasons that have to do with emotions. Yamato, contrary to what his character archetype might suggest, is someone who’s openly passionate and emotional, and is also someone who goes out of his way to care about others and their welfare -- so he often gets into fights with Taichi because he perceives Taichi to be insensitive and not putting sufficient thought into the others.

Yamato’s reactions are certainly extreme -- Adventure episodes 9 very clearly depicts him as the one losing control of his emotions and escalating the argument with Taichi to a full-on fight, whereas Taichi wanted him to calm down -- but he’s not fundamentally wrong in that this is an aspect Taichi needs to improve about, because it is true that Taichi tends to take the first suggestion of “what’ll get something done” that pops into his head, but also has a problem of vastly underestimating how dangerous things might be.

Again -- and this is very important to stress -- it’s not that he doesn’t care about others, and it’s not that he’s unaware of the dangers around him or the potential for repercussions! As Sora says in Adventure episode 16, he is conscientious of his surroundings and aware of potential risks. He has always put thought into his actions, and he doesn’t just charge into things with no rhyme or reason. He just has an abysmally poor sense of judgment, because he’s so naturally chill that he thinks “it’ll be fine, don’t worry!” -- and thus starts stubbornly locking down on what he wants to do because he’s so sure it’ll be fine and that everyone (usually Yamato) is overreacting.

If you want a specific example about Taichi’s tendency to misjudge: in Adventure episode 9, Taichi and Yamato get in a fight when Yamato perceives Taichi as too insensitive about Takeru’s potential welfare, which weirds Taichi out because Yamato’s being awfully overprotective. On its face, it might seem hypocritical because we later find out in Adventure episode 48 that Taichi is just as overprotective of his own sister, but it’s important to note that in the relevant episode, Taichi states that he has to go out of his way because Hikari continually fails to vocalize whenever she’s hurt or in pain. This implies that Taichi sees Takeru as someone who’s clearly capable of taking care of himself because he expresses himself better (and thus, Taichi doesn’t understand why Yamato has to go out of his way for him). Indeed, Takeru ends up latching onto Taichi because he sees him as treating him with the independence that Yamato won’t -- but Takeru has his own very deep-seated emotional issues that he just happens to be very good at hiding, and while Taichi is certainly always looking out for Takeru, he never seemed to have become aware of this problem.

This difficulty in judgment leads into a certain pattern of behavior that Taichi exhibits that only comes up in very specific situations, but is so consistently depicted that it’s basically an inherent trait of his: what I call the “Yagami Taichi stress response”.

Taichi is the kind of selfless person who prioritizes others’ welfare over himself, and there are times when it will often fall into almost self-destructive levels. (This is a trait he actually shares with his sister, although the two of them naturally deal with it in very different ways.) His first priority is “helping everyone”, and especially “helping anyone who’s in trouble” (especially when it’s happening right in front of him). Which means that whenever he feels that others are depending on him for something, he ends up often taking too much responsibility for everyone’s welfare, and starts cracking under the pressure.

Because Taichi is the kind of person who prioritizes “action first” and figuring things out as they go along, this means that his reaction to stress is basically becoming a completely unfocused mess. Or, in other words, he lets the thought of but we have to do something!! completely consume his head, methodology be damned, and he starts panicking and doing everything in every which way to get it done, to the point he starts lashing out at others or becoming an emotional wreck because of the stress. The first time we see this is Adventure episode 16, where, being the only one with a working Crest and feeling that he and Agumon have the responsibility of protecting everyone, starts pushing himself and Agumon to carry everyone’s burdens, resulting in everything going wrong and the dark evolution to SkullGreymon at the end of the episode.

Again: It’s important to remember that, even at his “worst”, Taichi’s main priority is helping and protecting others, which means that his way of responding to that stress is basically determining that he’ll take all of the responsibility onto himself. That involves things like forcing himself to “work harder for everyone’s sake”, or becoming dangerously self-sacrificial, or at least allowing himself to become an emotional wreck because as much as he knows better, his one strongest thought is always we have to do something!!

Taichi exhibits more of this behavior in Adventure episodes 48 and 49, to the point he gets unusually aggressive with Koushirou (which is also explicitly pointed out as him not acting like his usual self) once he starts panicking about Hikari’s welfare. Again, note that all of this stems from we have to do something!! -- he basically starts panicking because despite Koushirou clearly doing the best he can, once things start going south, it’s just not enough.

So, speaking of things going south: because Taichi often misjudges situations, whenever things go wrong, he takes it badly. This is someone whose first course of action is to “act first and work it out as we go along,” but the number one thing he can’t stand is seeing other people get hurt, and so when other people do get hurt because of the consequences, Taichi shuts down -- for instance, when he learns that his ploy to attempt to get Greymon to evolve ended up hurting Koromon and everyone around him in Adventure episodes 16-17, and when his taking the Digital World too lightly (taking Koushirou’s explanation of it being “like a game world” at too much face value) ends up getting Sora in trouble and his own life in danger.

Which leads to a certain degree of irony: Taichi’s behavior isn’t normally out of solely recklessness -- mainly really poor judgment and a tendency to underestimate things -- but when he does slip up and start having to deal with consequences, he does become reckless. But because this recklessness is out of a desire to “not let anyone else get hurt”, it results in him being reckless specifically with his own welfare --  he’s the kind of person who “takes too much responsibility onto himself”, and his way of responding to the issues of “someone might get hurt” and “but we have to do something!!” means that he, by default, responds to everything with “okay, then I’ll be the one who gets hurt!” Or in other words, his solution to preventing other casualties while still doing something to help others involves becoming dangerously self-sacrificial. Because in the end, Taichi is the kind of person who hates seeing people being in trouble or hurt in front of him, and his instinct is to always protect people, no matter what.

But, again: Taichi’s way of “action first” is not a fundamentally bad thing -- remember, Adventure episode 21 established very well that this trait of his is very good for bringing him out of his biggest bouts of hesitation, because he has a very practical understanding of the need to fight in order to prevent more casualties. This is especially because the final arc of Adventure deals heavily with the concept of “collateral damage”, or the question of how to handle fighting to save people, when people are inevitably hurt (or, in this case, dying) in the process.

Yamato accuses Taichi in Adventure episode 43 of not being conscientious enough about the friends they’ve lost in the process, but once Yamato succumbs to his resentment and personal beefs and starts selfishly picking a fight with Taichi in Adventure episode 44-45, Taichi indicates that he is keeping his fallen friends in mind -- it’s just that, to him, not continuing the fight is an insult to everything they’d died for (especially because, indeed, more people will get hurt if they don’t do something). 

And, ultimately, in Adventure episode 50, Taichi does conclude that Yamato, Jou, and Mimi are right about one thing: while he’s always been right about them needing to do something, they do at least need to be careful about how they go about it so that they don’t incur more sacrifices along the way. Fortunately, Taichi is a soccer captain and perfectly capable of quickly coming up with a suitable plan on the fly (he even cites it in this episode, and in fact had already demonstrated an ability to come up with tactics when necessary back in Adventure episode 20) -- it’s not that he’s never been able to do flexible thinking, it’s just that his natural tendency to be “too chill’ about things and overestimate the efficacy of the first thing that popped into his head was something he needed to learn to think through a little harder.

And so, the final episodes of Adventure indicate him finally starting to tap into his capacity for that -- thus truly becoming the definition of the Adventure group’s “leader”.

Taichi after Adventure

We learn in Our War Game! that Taichi still has a bit of a way to go in terms of the “emotional sensitivity” part, most notably when Taichi starts getting defensive when he accidentally disrupts the computer connection, and Koushirou (most likely correctly) pinpoints this insensitivity as the likely reason he and Sora got into a nasty fight prior to the events of the movie. In fact, while Taichi already clearly had some shades of this in Adventure, when his “teasing” of others or stepping over their boundaries could sometimes go a little too far, it’s especially indicated here that Taichi is very, very bad at dispute resolution, because he keeps trying to deflect blame for his own actions and indirectly accuses Sora of being the irrational one in regards to their argument. (Again, for anyone entangled in a dispute with a friend: “dismissing the other person’s feelings” and going for the ad hominem, instead of at the very least acknowledging them in the process of making your point, is the number one worst way to handle this.)

Of course, Taichi wouldn’t have gotten this far if he didn’t have the natural charisma to compensate -- again, he’s fundamentally someone who cares about other people and attends to them. But, unfortunately, he’s still bad at knowing how to deal with other people’s emotions and learning to deal with them with proper empathy...

...So, in fact, it’s striking that the Taichi we initially meet in 02 is someone who, most of the time, seems to come off as very mature and put-together. The fact that he so willingly turned over his goggles to Daisuke at the beginning of the episode is a really huge deal, frankly -- even if you don’t subscribe to the theory that there’s any major sentimental backstory to it a la V-Tamer, that’s still an item he’s kept on him since he was a tiny child and clearly must have a huge amount of attachment to, yet he immediately handed it over to Daisuke the moment he felt Daisuke was worthy of it.

It’s actually quite a bit of a swerve for those of us used to the more “playful” Taichi who sometimes took things way too lightly, but it’s also important to realize that this is the Taichi that Daisuke and his friends see. This is especially in light of the fact that Daisuke starts off the series with a very severe inability to be assertive, so Taichi, who’s always been naturally assertive from the get-go (almost too much sometimes), is everything he is not, and therefore admires.

Taichi is still Taichi, which means that he’s still subject to the Yagami Taichi stress response, and he gets very close to blowing up angrily at the others when they show up late. But unlike how he had a whole train of being rather out of control when emotionally compromised in Adventure episodes 48-49, he gets himself together fairly quickly and admits that he also didn’t want to force everyone to come if they didn’t want to (to the point where he had even thought about going alone with Hikari in the worst-case scenario -- again, note the tendency for self-sacrifice and putting responsibility on himself).

We also see him about to lapse into it again at the end of the episode, when he freezes up because he’s not sure about what to do in regards to the potential of hurting Agumon in the process of getting him back -- but Yamato manages to get him back on his feet, rather literally, and with a punch to the face.

This punch tends to be really often misinterpreted as if violence is just a fact of life when it comes to Taichi and Yamato, but it is very, very important to understand the context behind this scene and how it differs from the two’s relationship in Adventure. Whenever the two fought back in Adventure, it would be a very vicious argument with the two genuinely angry at each other, and with Yamato accusing Taichi of being insensitive and thus becoming hostile and resentful towards him. In this scene, however, Yamato has become conscientious of Taichi’s own feelings and reasons for hesitating. This is evidenced by the fact he only does a single punch and holds out his hand to Taichi right after -- said punch was strictly meant as one meant to snap him back to reality, and Yamato holds out that hand knowing that Taichi will not take it as anger or resentment, but rather “I did this because you needed something to get you back into focus, I know you also know this and won’t take it as an insult, and I understand your feelings and want to help you.”

It’s important in establishing the level of deep trust Taichi and Yamato have where they understand each other’s positions now without fighting over it -- the two of them even point out in the next episode that the reason they can get away with this is because of how much worse they used to go through before, but now, the two of them treat each other with mutual sympathy, understanding, and support, and devoid of condescension whatsoever. And because of that, Taichi is able to “snap out” of his hesitation much more quickly than he would three years prior, because now he has Yamato’s emotional support, and Yamato even frames the situation in a way the “we have to do something!!” Taichi would understand: if they don’t do something, Agumon will continue to be the Kaiser’s slave destroying everything that he himself would never want to see destroyed, and even if they end up accidentally losing him in the process, it would arguably be a bigger mercy to him than it would to let him continue in this state. It’s all very practical reasoning that works best with Taichi’s way of thinking, and because of that, they’re able to push forward into the events of the next episode.

But just because he’s become more mature doesn’t mean he’s lost his characteristic charisma or ability to be playful or a tease -- after all, Taichi has always had a penchant for a bit of a smug personality, sometimes even bordering on the petulant. This especially comes out when he’s with Agumon, but, really, Taichi is a person who really likes fun.

On another interesting note, however, Taichi sends Sora off in 02 episode 38 when he’s very heavily implied to have caught on that Sora is about to confess to Yamato, and pushes her on without giving her grief for it. Regardless of whether you subscribe to the theory that Taichi has his own unresolved feelings in the situation, the important part is that he understood that this was a grave enough situation for Sora that this did not merit teasing her or insensitively poking into her feelings on it -- in other words, it’s a huge contrast to Adventure episode 26 when he was clearly at a loss on how to deal with her when she was emotionally compromised, and Agumon and Gabumon commented that he wasn’t as mature as Yamato in dealing with this.

But now, Taichi is much more capable of showing actual empathy for others and understanding when it’s the time to hold back on the teasing or potential insensitivity, and for that, Agumon compliments him on the same maturity he’d failed to express three years prior.

By the time we get to Kizuna, the fact that Taichi is one of the lead protagonists is for obvious meta reasons (he’s the protagonist of Adventure, after all), but it also makes sense that a movie centered around the millennial existential crisis -- and, specifically, the issue of career uncertainty -- would have him as a major player in it. Remembering that Taichi is fundamentally the kind of person who operates as “act first, deal with it later,” it makes perfect sense that the terrifying pressure of dealing with something as vague and uncertain as career pressure would be something that Taichi would continually put off. Again, Taichi is a very practical-minded person who usually works best with things that are clearly happening in front of him, so “wide-ranging” things are things he plays badly with.

Despite Taichi being very clearly depicted as “out of it” for this movie, at the very least, certain fundamental personality traits of his haven’t gone away -- for one, he’s still one of the most expressive characters in the movie (to the point many a fan has commented on his jackpot of facial expressions) in terms of petulance, sometimes getting a little defensive, and driving poor Koushirou a little nuts with his tendency to be reckless with electronics. He also gets a bit cocky during the battle with Eosmon, which, again, tracks with his tendency to do that every so often (and to be fair to him, everyone was guilty of severely underestimating Eosmon at the time, so it’s not like this was a major miscalculation on Taichi’s part).

Moreover, much like in 02, Taichi and Yamato are understanding of each other’s feelings to the extent that Yamato is the first person Taichi calls to dump his feelings about his existential crisis over. Even though they’re still prone to some mild bickering at the beginning of the movie, they immediately go back on high-fiving terms right after, so it’s a very far cry from the time back in Adventure when Yamato would look down on Taichi for being insensitive.

But here, we have this one line that basically represents the source of all of the problems Taichi ends up going through in this movie, including the reason for his loss of Agumon: Taichi is trying to “force” himself to become an independent person, and in the process is pushing Agumon away, and, on a more metaphorical level, his own self.

Taichi moved out of his parents’ house under the pretense of not burdening his family, but Hikari’s comment about their mother wanting him to drop by indicates that it’s not likely they necessarily wanted him to move out -- and despite that, Taichi is miserable in his daily routine of walking back and forth from school and working at a part-time job and eating convenience store food. He’s clearly lonely, yet he won’t allow Agumon into his room (it’s stated that his visit midway into the movie is his first time here). He keeps his old goggles and Digivice, yet he shuts it in a drawer and only opens the drawer to stare at it from time to time, and when Agumon finally does visit and finds his AVs, Taichi freaks out and pins it as an “adult thing” before he finds himself in the awkward situation of basically gatekeeping his own partner with a societal standard he doesn’t even understand.

I should point out that the AVs are not strictly porn, if you want to be really technical about it; it’s “gravure” videos, involving a cosplayer dressing up in sexy/high-exposure outfits and striking suggestive poses, but it’s not actually explicit porn. Moreover, a toned-down version of this scene exists in the Shueisha Mirai version of the novel, where the issue is not about AVs but rather the fact that Taichi only has alcohol in his fridge -- absolutely nothing non-alcoholic, despite how impractical this is -- because “[he’s] an adult, after all.” So the point of this scene is that Taichi’s being performative, or in other words trying to do Adult Things because That’s What Adults Do. And since a Digimon partner is representative of the inner self, and especially established in 02 to have relevance to one’s “less dignified and more childish dreams”, Taichi looking down on Agumon, i.e. looking down on himself, becomes the reason why he ends up losing him at the end of this movie.

As things get worse for Taichi and the crisis escalates, we actually get another glimpse of the Yagami Taichi stress response -- Yamato confronts him on whether he’s okay with going in to save all of the Eosmon victims despite knowing what’ll happen to their partners. Taichi, frantically (Hanae Natsuki’s voice acting really sells it here), has an emotional outburst and professes that, no, of course he’s not, but, again: they have to do something!! Because in the end, Taichi is a selfless person who understands that bad things are happening to people now, and the important thing is saving them now and dealing with the consequences once that’s done with, and even Yamato admits that, as much as he hates it, this is the correct answer.

Taichi does, unfortunately, lose Agumon at the end of the movie, but there are multiple indications he’s already on his way to getting him back, given that Taichi’s starting to address all of the problems he was neck deep in at the start of the movie. In the middle of the movie, after having shut his goggles in the drawer all of this time and only pulling it out whenever he was depressed, he decides to embrace the courage they initially symbolized and puts them back on his neck, and when we reach the climax of the movie, he uses Hikari’s old whistle to wake everyone up. This needs to be distinguished from all of the “nostalgia” everyone else had been drowning themselves in by looping themselves eternally in old memories from a desire to never move on from them; symbolically speaking, Taichi’s blowing of the whistle represents acknowledging the important things in your past, and making productive use of them to move onto the future, rather than the unhealthy reactions of either drowning eternally in nostalgia, or performatively shutting everything out about your past in a bid to reach some arbitrary standard of adulthood.

Hence, Taichi’s thesis -- the one he had failed to write at the beginning of the movie -- is only filled out once Taichi embraces that past version of himself, because his thesis summary is about reflection on his past experiences, and making use of those to think about how to apply them to the future.

This is, obviously, intended as a lead-up to the 02 epilogue in which Taichi becomes an ambassador -- or in other words, someone who indeed specializes in “bringing humans and Digimon together” and offering proposals on how they can coexist in the future. Agumon, of course, is an important part of this job (look at his suit and bowtie!), instead of Taichi shutting him out and treating him like someone who doesn’t belong in his adult life.

Of the careers depicted in the epilogue, Taichi’s is the most “furthest-reaching”, since, as a diplomat, he has influence over a pretty huge range of things, which fits with Taichi’s tendency to shoot for some pretty high things -- and, also, conceptually, it works well with what we’ve always known since Adventure to be Taichi’s true specialties as a “leader”: having the charisma and understanding to bring people from different places together, and to lead them all forward.

[sleepy-toast23]

Boyfriend Headcannons(?) for season 4 & 5 Chuck Shurley

(nsfw and sfw will be seperated)

(this is mostly weirdness and nonsense mixed in with headcannons. A LOT OF THIS IS VERY STRANGE/CRACK SHIT IG? IDK WHAT ELSE TO CALL IT)

(this is for the few remaining Chuck fans out there, season 11 & 15 versions will come out soon- since chuck has changed drastically every season qǝɔɐnsǝ ʇɥǝ ʍɹᴉʇǝɹs ɐɹǝ ɟnɔʞᴉuƃ ᴉuǝdʇ ɐup ɥɐʌǝ dɹoʌǝu ᴉʇ ʇᴉɯǝ ɐup ʇᴉɯǝ ɐƃɐᴉu. Stay strong fellow Chuck fans😔)

(enjoy)

SFW:

He will never admit to it, but he really loves bing cuddled and smooched

Like- REALLY loves it.

If you want that pretty necklace for Valentine's day and he says no

Just give him a hug and a smooch on the cheek (effectiveness increased if you use puppy eyes)

He'll be putty in your hands.

And his credit card will be out in milliseconds

He's lazy. There's no way around it.

So hope you don't mind doing a lot of chores

He's extremely thankful though

He reminds you how thankful he is every night and day with little gifts, kisses, and even making you breakfast

"what would I do without you, (Y/N)?"

"I love you so, 𝙨𝙤 much"

His kisses tickle cause of his beard

He uses this to his advantage often

Too often for your liking

You tell him he's your lazy little teddy bear

He's offended. How dare you.

You kiss him on the cheek

*The attack was effective, Chuck became confused*

He makes an alright income from his book series

You have been working on him with issues regarding his drinking habits

He wants to change for you. But it's hard for him.

You understand that, and appreciate that he's even making an effort

You've been making him do more chores recently

This includes his own laundry, buying groceries, and helping with meal preperation

How chuck stayed so thin you have no idea

He isn't very active at all

He has a mild dad bod at most

Good thing we love dad bods here🥰

You opened the window one morning and he whimpered and covered his eyes.

Man has not seen the sun in a while.

Chuck is genuinely making a change though

You've gotten him to come on jogs with you

You have to take l o t s of breaks for him

When he's writing, you like to sit behind him and correct his writing.

Tiny man, fragile ego

He gets flustered and angry and will nudge you away

Never hard though. He would never hurt you

You think it's absolutely adorable

His face is litteraly tomato red

When he passed out at his desk, it's up to you to carry him to the bed you share

The mornings after he always complains about pains other than in his head

You say it must be part of the hang over

𝙄𝙩𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨

Big oops

He's heavy, what were you supposed to do!?

You never tell him the truth.

It's better you don't.

You know of his 'visions'

You didn't believe him at first-

Until you walked out one day and found him spazing out on the couch

You almost dialed 911, thinking he was having a seizure

He snapped out of it and explained that was just his visions

You called 911 anyway and asked for an ambulance

Can never be to sure when it comes to crazy drunk hermit boyfriends

Doctors said he was absolutely fine though.

You really started believing him when 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 showed up.

The winchester boys (and Cas!)

You don't like them around Chuck.

Dean threatened him with a gun once

You were ready to commit a war crime on a single human being

You will protect your lazy teddy at all cost

You have to admit though- seeing him being all tough and fighting demons and ghost is 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙩

You hated Becky.

You punched her at the supernatural con

No cap, you litteraly f#cked her sh#t up.

She got too close to Chuck

And was giving him googley eyes

Not on your watch

You watched Cas get obliterated by Raphael with Chuck.

You found a fingernail in your hair

*fingernailS

Chuck has told you the ending the day before it all went down

You were confused on why he forbid you to tell the brothers

You were upset, but he seemed serious about it

Nsfw:

Has had sex multiple times before you two even got together

Still acts like a virgin baby

You love walking into living room with no towel on after showering

Seeing his jaw drop is priceless

"(Y/N) is that... 𝙮𝙤𝙪..."

His size is incredibe

He's truely been blessed by God

Which makes sense, after all, he is a prophet.

He's very vocal in bed

It's absolutely adorble

Small whimpers and moans

He'll tell you how amazing you are to him

It's cheesy, but you can tell me means it

"fuck.. (Y/N).. I love you."

"you're so beautiful under me like this- not that you aren't Beautiful not under me😅"

"I'm the luckiest man in the world"

Actually well groomed down below

Uncircumcised

Cleans well though

At least he's not 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 lazy

Gentle lover

Slow and steady wins the race😏

Until you start screaming at him to speed up out of frustration

Totally into dominatrix

Watching and feeling you ride his cock is the hottest thing he's ever seen/felt

Willing to try most kinks

Will never be on the 'giving' side of BDSM though.

He doesn't have the heart to whip you or be rough with you like that, no matter how many times you tell him it's okay.

Both love & hates when you tease him

You'll stroke his cock til he's close to release- and than stop

He'll cry and beg for you to let him cum

You love to sit and watch him

You occasionally poke and stroke the tip to keep him stimulated and hard

It's pleasurable torture for him

When he blows his load- it's a 𝙝𝙚𝙛𝙩𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙙

Vanilla sex is still wonderful though

He is the God of aftercare

Is also a master of Oral.

That beard on your thighs is pure magic

Pet names. Pet names. Pet names!!

Kitten, love, darling, sweetheart, baby girl

Knows all your spots

The person writing these headcannons needs to go bathe in holy water now

[timelessduet]

For Victor: 2nd Entry

I’d like to dedicate this work to @sayumiht, a co-Victor stan who made this suggestion. Hope you like it. <3

Subtle Jealousy

Victor is a serious guy. As a CEO, he exudes intimidating and powerful aura wherever he goes. You can probably say everyone fears respects him. That includes her. But it was only at first.

MC still has high respect for Victor as a boss and investor of her company but things were different now. Before, she was as intimidated and fazed to the CEO of LFG like everyone else. That maybe he was just all business and nothing else. He wouldn’t waste time on nonsensical things especially if it won’t bring him any good or benefit. But now... she doesn’t feel that gap anymore.

It‘s probably because she's the object of his hidden affections and love. At first, he was indeed annoyed and mad at her for doing things wrong or talking back to him. He couldn’t tolerate such behavior. With her though, that he changed. He tried to be more patient and accept such changes to his once constant and uneventful life.

Victor admits he suppressed his feelings for her because he had a promise to fulfill for someone in his past. Who would’ve thought that the person he searched for the longest time was her all along?

The people closest to Victor know he isn’t a vocal person. He never really tells what he’s feeling. No matter who it was. That is until he admitted all his feelings to MC after confirming she also felt the same.

He was adamant to confessing first. It wasn’t because of pride or fear of being rejected. Victor considered her side and what she’d feel if that situation was to happen. Him telling her what he truly felt which was out of his character and her being put in a tight spot. He knew of all people how kind the girl he fell in love was. If anything, she’d give a dumb face out of surprise but in the end smile.

But Victor also thought how it would be in her shoes. He wasn’t the one who’d be dealing with a confession from him. It was her. She’ll have the burden choice whether she’ll accept or reject it. And depending on her decision, she’ll have to face the corresponding repercussions. He was well aware being linked to him meant the scrutiny of the public and everyone at work.

Luckily, she felt the same and they got together. After all those years of waiting, Victor is finally with her. Although there were slight changes after being in a relationship, one thing hasn’t change: he was still unable to convey what he felt into words properly.

Victor: What are you doing? You’ve been texting on your phone for quite awhile now. Don’t even think about complaining to me that you’re feeling dizzy or your head hurts later.

MC is currently on her way to work together with Victor in his car.

MC: Almost done. I’m currently talking to Professor Lucien and asking his advice about the current program we’re doing.

Considering the field of work, Victor understood MC had to meet and talk to different people everyday. Even he had the same thing going on. But he can’t help but feel a sudden distaste upon hearing another man’s name. He kept his eyes on the road but had a change in mood instantly.

Victor: Professor Lucien? You could’ve just come to me for advice.

MC: Huh? Should I ask advice from you regarding a neuroscience topic for a show? You’re being a bit weird today, Mr. CEO. The topic is Professor Lucien’s specialty. Plus I heard from Goldman you have a very busy schedule these past few days so I wouldn’t want to bother you with such matter. It’s all taken care of. Don’t worry.

The girl explained it to him but for some reason that even he couldn’t explain, he was silently becoming more and more irritated. With the looks of it, everyone at work will be his outlet.

Victor: Can you tell me what this is?

Victor said while looking sharply at the department heads. He was already in a foul mood after what happened while going to work and as much as he didn’t want to vent his annoyance to his subordinates, they weren’t being any help.

Department head 1: Sir it’s... we’ll revise the report as soon as possible.

Department head 2: We’re very sorry about this, Sir.

Victor: As you should. Get back to work. You’re all dismissed. Send me the revised report through email by the end of the day.

This wasn’t a great day at all. Victor was used to having tons of work and meetings but today particularly, he felt stressed and fatigued.

Goldman: Sir, MC called and just informed she’d be cancelling her meeting with you today. She said there was a sudden event invitation from her alma mater that she needed to attend to.

For one, Victor didn’t believe in luck. But why did it seem like he was quite unlucky today? He pinched the bridge of his nose before asking his secretary if there were still things he needed to attend to for the day.

Goldman: The last on your schedule for the day is with Miss MC, Sir. Since she cancelled, should we have the teleconference with A Company moved this afternoon instead?

The supposed meeting with MC was business related and her giving him a report but he also considers moments like that as some time off from his busy schedule. But now...

Victor: Don’t change anything. We’ll proceed to having the teleconference as scheduled. I’ll take my leave early so have the car ready.

Goldman was surprised the CEO would leave work very early which was unlike him but he didn’t say a word and did as he was told.

Seeming as to how he’s becoming more and more restless, Victor decided to give her a call. What happened next made him feel like he’s been soaked with freezing cold water.

Gavin: Hello, you’ve called MC’s phone. This is Gavin. I’m taking the call for her since she went for the restroom and left her phone with me. What’s...

Without hearing any further, Victor ended the call. It was rude and very unlike him to do have such behavior considering his professionalism and objective way of doing things but this...

Goldman: Sir, aren’t you going to Loveland High to meet Miss MC?

Victor: Change of plans. I’m tired. Go straight home.

Victor was sure MC wasn’t doing anything unfaithful or of the likes behind his back but what was it he was feeling? It was very unpleasant and foreign to him that he just couldn’t explain.

After reaching his home, Victor did his usual routines and finally rested on the sofa. He wasn’t fond of watching television but since his girlfriend produced tv shows... he bought a tv for the living area. Opening the tv, the program on was an interview with a famous superstar.

Interviewer: I see. This is a question many of your fans are curious about. Can we know what our favorite superstar’s future dream projects are?

Kiro: I think I’ve been able to do many projects thanks to my management and fans. But now, I really really want to have a project produced by MC. MC if you’re listening lets do a program together.

So even this young superstar knows his girlfriend. At this point, he wasn’t surprised. Coming to his senses, Victor thought this was normal. She was a producer earning her own reputation in the industry. He should be happy and proud about it and yet... he can’t keep his emotions in check.

Turning off the tv, Victor let out a sigh. He was lost in thought. Why was he feeling this way? He opened his phone thoughtlessly and flashed was his wallpaper. It was a picture of him and her the day they became official.

The picture was rather candidly taken to say the least. They were both wet after what happened in the pool but because of happiness and the effect of alcohol, she insisted on taking that photo on his phone. It was a selfie of MC’s tipsy self smiling while Victor instead of looking to the camera, had a look of tenderness in his eyes directed to her. There was no doubt that was the happiest day of his life.

With all the things that happened, Victor dozed off on the couch. He woke up to a warm hand intertwined to his.

MC: Victor, you’re up. Sorry... Did I wake you?

Victor: It’s fine. I think I dozed off for a while. What time is it?

MC: It’s 9 pm. I’m sorry about suddenly cancelling our meeting earlier. That was wrong of me. I promise to make up for it by doing whatever you want!

Victor: Dummy, you’re being too loud. It’s already late.

MC: Seems like Mr. CEO is back to his usual self after a good nap on the sofa. You still looked formal while sleeping though. Just a little less intimidating? Hope your back isn’t aching. I did want to wake you and bring you to bed but you seemed so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb your precious rest.

Victor: Idiot. You were apologizing just now for cancelling a meeting and here you are now blabbering about nonsense.

MC: !

Victor: You said you’d make up for it by doing whatever I want. I want you to just listen to to me and not say anything. I’ll only say or be like this once so listen carefully. Being with you made me into a dummy. You always smile and find meaning in the simplest of things. You’re kind to the point that you’ll unknowingly be taken advantage of. You complain about gaining weight but still heartily eat my cooking. You’re most of the times scared but put on a brave face and stick to your decision until the end. You’re probably the epitome of contradiction to me in every possible way.

Before, I worried how things would be if I told you how I felt. You’d be the object of everyone’s eyes and criticisms. You’d be looked upon differently. The burden of being with me concerned me more than anything else. Who would’ve thought I worried for nothing. You were a dummy who was capable of handling herself without my help or anyone else’s.

You’re probably thinking why is Victor being very outspoken today and if it’s already the end of the world... I know what’s in an idiot’s head that’s why. I felt strange emotions today. At first I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly but I think I figured it out. You may be all the things I’ve mentioned MC but you are my equal.

You are the only person who worries me and yet assures me everything is going to be alright. You are the balance in my life I never knew I needed until now.

I’m well aware of the fact that being with me has a lot of weight in it. Still you accepted me without hesitation. I’m sure this idiot will meet people... people far better than me and be fascinated by them. They’ll show or make her realize things I may not be able to. She has so much ahead of her and that I know very well more than anyone else. All I could ever do is wait for her and be the support she needs. She’ll stumble and cry but I hope she knows by the end of the day, she has me.

MC: I’m not sure if this is what I think it is but... is this Victor’s jealous side? Hmm...

Victor: Idiot. Think whatever you like. And didn’t I say you were only suppose to listen and not say a word?

[Author’s Note]: The lines above were supposed to be part of the story but since it kinda affects the speech of our dearest CEO...

Anyways, ahhh I hope I was able to do jealous Vic justice. 😭 He isn’t one to talk his emotions so I hope it still fits his character. What’s it like seeing a jealous LFG CEO? It isn’t the usual, right? Of course, he is Victor Li after all.^^

[writingbeary]

Kingdom - To The World (pt.2)

Minyoung’s Outfit

Note:

Texts placed inside brackets are Kingdom’s show subtitles

Italicized texts are in English

Texts that are block quoted are interview cuts

────────── ♔ ──────────

Hongjoong went to the studio to gets ideas from Pirates of the Caribbean and writing down notes when a knock was heard. Pausing the movie, he stood up and unlocked the door to check who came.

"Joong-oppa! I brought you snacks and coffee. I figured you'd pull another all-nighter to brainstorm and a little sugar might help generate ideas." Minyoung entered with a paper bag full of snacks and a cup of coffee.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting by now? I thought you had a schedule tomorrow." Hongjoong frowned knowing how late it is, before taking the snacks thanking the younger girl for them before making himself comfortable on the couch.

"I accidentally left my script at the lockers this morning so I went to get it. I figured I’d drop by the studio and give you something while I'm at it. Don't worry, I'll get some sleep as soon as I get home and the shoot starts at 10 anyway so I'd get plenty of time before I have to leave tomo-.. later" Minyoung smiled plopping down next to Hongjoong

"Just try to get some rest soon. You're busiest among all of us with your drama on top of our promotions and Kingdom." Hongjoong reached out to pat Minyoung's head

"It's nothing I cannot handle! You know me, I can sleep whenever." Minyoung laughed as she look at the screen, recognizing the movie she turned to look at the leader excitedly “You’re watching Pirates? Are we continuing our Introduction Stage concept?” 

“I’m not yet sure but our group’s concept is mostly about pirates so we might as well stick with it.” Hongjoong shrugged taking a sip of coffee

“I always trust your decision oppa! Your ideas for songs and concepts have been all brilliant so far that I’ll follow you in whatever you plan on doing.” Minyoung declared making Hongjoong chuckle.

“I appreciate the confidence but I’ll also ask for your inputs once I talk it over with Eden-hyung” 

“Mhm. I’m just saying that if you tell me to do perform a stunt, I’ll do it. Or maybe even if you tell me to suddenly sing a ballad version of Fireworks or Pirate King, I’d do it in a heartbeat if you arrange it. You know what I mean?” Minyoung said seriously before laughing with Hongjoong. “I’m pretty sure the other members would tell you that too. That’s how much we trust you as our leader.”

“Got it. Thank you bun.” Hongjoong ruffled her hair smiling. “You should head back and get some rest. I’ll finish up here first before my meeting with Eden-hyung. I’ll see you during our meeting, okay? Did you come with manager-hyung?” 

“No. Don’t worry, I’ll just call a cab home. I’ll be fine, I’m already an adult. Geez! If it helps, I’ll send you a message once I’m at the dorms. Fighting oppa!” Minyoung pouted before waving goodbye to Hongjoong “I’ll see you the day after tomorrow!”

[What song did ATEEZ choose for their first round?]

“We just finished our practice and it’s almost 1:00AM” Hongjoong faced the camera as San and Wooyoung fiddle with the vitamins in the box with San being forcefully fed. “It’s good for your body.” Wooyoung chuckled as San looked at him in disbelief.

“We have to win first place after we eat this.” Hongjoong declared laughing

“Okay. First place? We can do it.” San nodded, trying to finish what’s in his mouth despite not liking the taste. “People say what’s good for your body, tastes bad.”

“Do each of these taste different?” Hongjoong asked as he force himself to swallow despite the bitter taste.

“Nope. They all taste the same.” Wooyoung laughed when Hongjoong confessed he might not be able to finish his before going off to get water.

“There is a reason why I made you guys eat this.” Hongjoong said as he took out his tablet showing them the division of the teams made in preparation for Round 1 of Kingdom. “So I need your ideas on what comes to mind when you think about pirates?”

San listed of things that first came into mind like guns, sword, and eye patch. Wooyoung adding in that they need the flags “We already have flags right?”

“But isn’t the ship the most important thing?” San asked as Hongjoong writes down all their ideas on the tablet for the KQ teams to check before their meeting tomorrow.

“Hey. Hey there. Park Seonghwa-ssi. Got any ideas?” Hongjoong called out to the him on the other side of the practice room. The three laughing when they noticed what is happening. Minyoung was clinging unto Seonghwa like a koala while the eldest just lets her do what she wants, patting her back repeatedly as if making her sleep.

Minyoung answered “Treasure! Pirates go sailing for treasure with their treasure map.” her sudden answer making the three in-front of the camera laugh.

“I thought you didn’t want to be in today?” San asked the girl who looked up at him from her position before shaking her head. “I’m comfortable here.” 

Seonghwa chuckled before answering Hongjoong’s previous question “Maybe like a compass, a trumpet, or a telescope.”

“You’re saying we should reuse what we used before? I like the idea.”

“Oppa, I don’t think we have the luxury not to use what we have.” Minyoung commented making the members crack up particularly with how she looked when she said it.

“Now that we’re discussing together, we’re getting lots of ideas.” Wooyoung noted as their concept grows clearer as they talk

Hongjoong looked at the growing list of ideas nodding “Yesterday, I watched all of Pirates of the Caribbean in the studio all night.”

“Did you get anything from it?” Wooyoung asked curious what they’ll adopt into their performance.

“I really want fog effects on the stage. You know how the ship appears with the fog? I really want to incorporate that to our performance.” Hongjoong explaining the scene to the members. Everyone agreeing that it’ll look great and cinematic which is perfect for the concept they’re going for.

The next day, the members sat around in their practice room to discuss the details of their performance with everyone. “Since our results for the Introduction Stage was a bit disappointing, we need to get ready for round one.” Hongjoong stated as everyone looked as determined as ever to rank higher this round. 

“Since we’re sticking with the concept of being pirates, it’ll be fun if we make it like a movie.” Wooyoung suggested

“Then Hongjoong-hyung will be Joongyi Depp.” Jongho quipped with Hongjoong playing along. “San will be a swordsman. San has to fight.”

“As for Wooyoung..” Hongjoong looked at Wooyoung trying to think of a role when Yunho suddenly said “Chef” making everyone laugh at the unexpected role.

“Oh! That’s true though. We all need to eat and someone has to be the chef.” Minyoung said through her giggles

“So when a war breaks out, he’ll be fighting with frying pans.” Hongjoong chuckled doing fighting motions as if he was holding pans in both his hands while Wooyoung just laughed in disbelief at the idea

“As for Yunho since he’s tall, he’ll be in charge of raising the anchor.” Yunho nodded before firing another remark “Seonghwa-hyung can be the parrot on the Captain’s shoulder!” At this everyone laughed imagining the it.

[Parrot Seonghwa, featuring Hongjoong’s shoulder]

“I’m..I’m not even a human?” Seonghwa asked laughing at the idea

“For Yeosang-hyung since he is smart, he can plan strategies.” Jongho continued on.

“What about me? What am I? Oh! I can be the doctor! I like Chopper!” Minyoung exclaimed making everyone crack up at the random remark.

“Okay that’s enough joking around. We can position ourselves and show something in terms of our gestures.” Hongjoong explained as the others nodded already thinking of what to do for the performance.

“We’re not ordinary pirates. It’s a contest in a way..so in order to look more fancy and grand, I think we need fantasy elements. For example, we can have the Kraken come out.” Yunho suggested

“So based on what we said so far, let’s scatter and talk to the professionals if these can actually come true.” Hongjoong nodded delegating tasks to everyone

[They split into the music team and the choreography team and continue the discussion.]

“The TF team was formed just for Kingdom.” Hongjoong explained to the camera while Minyoung and Jongho nodded. “All the members are scattered right now.”

"The reason we split up is because we cannot waste time. We still have our promotions on top of making preparations for Round 1. So I came here with Minyoung and Jongho to discuss the music" Hongjoong explained to their producer Eden

“Personally, I think of Jongho’s crazy high notes as one of our strengths.” Eden started glancing at Jongho as he explained his idea, then turning to look at Minyoung who looked at him curiously.

"I was thinking along the lines of showcasing our main weapon and the hidden weapon." Hongjoong continued as he tapped both of them on their shoulders

"Right. People already know about Jongho's strength but I think it's about time we unveil ATEEZ's hidden treasure. So I’m wondering if I should add 3 or 4 levels of pitch for the both of you and blast them away with that." Eden suggested with Hongjoong agreeing almost instantly when Eden declared “Nevermind. Let’s just go with four. Since we’re doing it anyway, we should go all out.”

Jongho shifted in his seat knowing there’s no backing out of this plan when Minyoung sat up and said in all seriousness along with a blank face "Ah. It is time for my death. You’re asking me to die” making everyone laugh at her antics.

Minyoung let out a sigh before smiling “Since my leader says so, I have to prepare myself thoroughly and execute it well. I'll do my best, at least enough not to drag Jongho down!"

"You'll do well bun." Hongjoong grinned already planning how to highlight the youngest two’s vocals for the performance.

[What did you mean by hidden treasure?]

"It's actually a bit of a shame for me to say this..but we haven't really had the chance to let Minyoung's vocals shine in our songs. Although, we've made her do the killing part of songs here and there but she is mostly highlighted for the dance. If I were to put it in figures... I guess you could say we were only able to show off 40% of her potential as a vocalist." Hongjoong smiled before continuing "You can definitely look forward to it."

[Are you feeling pressured for Round 1?]

"Of course! This time, I was given a very important role that could really make or break our performance. I'm nervous but I think the excitement overshadows that nervousness. I just want to show off what ATEEZ is capable of and give back to our fans who continues to support us." Minyoung answered with a confident smile

“Let’s not worry about anything else and make a movie out there.” Hongjoong looked at everyone as they gathered in for their group cheer before they head to the stage. All of ATEEZ nodding with a smile before they cheered “9 makes 1 king!”  

“Is that a ship?” Chan asked as he moved a bit closer to the monitor as the familiar sound effect was heard.

“Waah. That’s so ATEEZ.” Changbin nodded as the ship interior is shown before the music starts

“I guess their entire stage is set inside the pirate ship.” Q noted to the other members of THE BOYZ.

“Everyone has a story.” Eunkwang leaned in, anticipating the upcoming stage.

“I guess they’re going with the theme of Pirates of the Caribbean for this stage.” Jaeyoon noted finding the feeling of the opening similar to that of the movie.

“I guess he’s the Captain. That so cool! He wore a fur coat!” Bobby noted already absorbed in the performance.

“This is a movie. Totally a movie” Chan commented as the scene played and changed into Hongjoong’s opening rap.

“I asked Minyoung what they planned to do for this stage and all she told me is that I’ll understand when I see it. I can see why she didn’t tell me anything now.” Jisung chuckled as Minyoung’s part played after the opening rap.

“They really prepared a lot for this one. So cool. This arrangement is totally my style.” Eunkwang confessed watching the performance intently.

Everyone was surprised when Wooyoung danced together with the bone-breaking dancers but even more when the Kraken came into the screen. Out of everyone, Bobby was the most excited at seeing the creature. “It’s the Kraken!”

“That’s crazy. How did they come up with this idea?” Jisung exclaimed, letting out an astonished laugh

When Seonghwa sang the chorus, everyone’s mouth was hang wide open and cries of joy were heard from the groups as he fired at the creature killing it. The excitement from that scene has not yet faded when the camera changed and zoomed in on both Jongho and Minyoung on the platform as they sang the bridge as if answering one another. They were also unprepared for when both the youngest members of ATEEZ suddenly pulled off a 4-level high note, leaving most of them speechless.

Minhyuk gasped at how high the notes were while Changsub and Eunkwang clapped in admiration, knowing how hard it is to hit those notes.

“Just how high are they planning to go?” Sangyeon laughed in awe at how the two were able to hit the notes clearly.

Inseong chuckled in disbelief before saying “I can’t believe they’re going all out right now.”

Jisung not expecting the high notes let out a laugh, amazed at both of his friends as he clapped for them. “Wow.. Hold on.” Changbin managed to say shocked at what just happened

Chani laughed astonished particularly towards his friend, exclaiming “Park Minyoung! You’re crazy. From the highnote, now you do this?” when Minyoung took center position during dance booster of the last chorus before passing the focus to Seonghwa for the ending.

After the performance, the groups couldn’t help but compliment the group as they showed off and proven that the title monster performers wasn’t a title without reason.

“They’re awesome” Junhoe stated while Bobby who was still excited with the Kraken and the high note agreed nodding endlessly.

(Comments after the performance)

SF9 Inseong: I was really impressed with Jongho-ssi and Minyoungie. They both hit four high notes. SF9 Jaeyoon: Right. I knew Minyoung-ssi could sing well but I never knew she could do it this well. SF9 Chani: *proud smile* Minyoung pulled a huge surprise attack. 

THE BOYZ Juhaknyeon: I was really surprised when they sang the high notes. Really. 

THE BOYZ Hyunjae: Me too. I thought it was over, but they hit another high pitch. It’s a lot more difficult since there are two of them who did it. *laughs*

iKON Jinhwan: When their performance airs on TV, this will be a legendary performance for them.

Stray Kids Felix: The moment the Kraken came out.. *sound of awe* Stray Kids Changbin: I’ll go see it in person. *stands up* Stray Kids Chan: Yah.

THE BOYZ Sunwoo: They chose the performance they could do well and show who they are the best and executed to perfection. 

BTOB Eunkwang: There were no flaws. Even as another singer, I thought it was really cool. 

Stray Kids I.N: When they got off the pirate ship, everyone danced as a  group. That was very impressive for me.  Stray Kids Han: I loved the Kraken. How did they come up with the idea?  Stray Kids Chan: Wahh. Kraken. Really. That’s all I can think about. Stray Kids Han: No wonder Minyoung wouldn’t give me any hints on what they prepared. Seriously.

iKON Bobby: I was so nervous when Kraken showed up. They defeated it. He shot his gun at the end. iKON Jinhwan: You were so happy iKON Bobby: I was so overwhelmed with the grandeur. It was incredible.

ATEEZ finally done with the performance thanked everyone as they made their way backstage. Minyoung hugging Jongho with tears in her eyes saying “We did it. We really did it.”

“You did well.” Jongho returned the hug, patting the girl’s back lightly. He knows how hard Minyoung had to prepare and how high the pressure she felt for this performance. He was really proud of her and glad that they can finally show off her talents through the show.

“This is why people love Kingdom.” Hongjoong grinned at the camera when it focused on him, Seonghwa adding in “It feels liberating.”

“We all had this feeling. After the performance, we had such a good feeling. I was satisfied with that.” Hongjoong explained when asked what he thought of their performance

As soon as the group is back in their waiting room, everyone commented how it felt liberating after they finished the performance.

“When we finished our performance, I felt so proud of ourselves.” Hongjoong confessed as the other members let out a laugh

“Didn’t you choke up?” Seonghwa asked chuckling

“Do you know who cried after the performance?” Wooyoung grinned teasingly and moving his hands to point towards Minyoung who was still a bit teary-eyed.

“Yah. Let her be. She did extremely well.” Yeosang reached out towards his friend patting his arm

“Who says she didn’t? We all did well but you have to admit, Minyoung had a higher hurdle than any of us.” Wooyoung stated defending himself. “I’m proud of everyone but right now, I’m most proud of Minyoung.”

(Phonecall with Chani and Minyoung)

Minyoung: Hello? Chani: Youngie-ah! What’re you doing? Minyoung: I’m at the broadcast station for our album promotions. Why? Chani: Is ATEEZ preparing well for round one? Minyoung: Are you trying to spy on us right now? *laughs* We’re still not done since we have to promote our album well too. Then what about SF9, are you preparing well? Chani: *laughs* yah. We haven’t even started anything. Minyoung: Ahh. That means you’re almost half way done right? What song are you going to do? <Fanfare>? <RPM>? <Now or Never>? Chani: *surprised* Why are you asking- Minyoung: Oh! So It’s one of the songs I said *laughs* so which one is it? Chani: Why did I even bother to call you? *sighs, chuckling* Minyoung: *laughs* Alright alright. Let’s just see each other’s stages during the filming.

[As expected, these two friends know each other so well]

(During SF9′s Stage)

“I talked to Chani last week and he said they didn’t get to practice as much but every time he says that, it always ends up something incredible. I don’t really believe him anymore.” Minyoung told her members as she focused on the monitor.

“That’s also what you told Jisung when he asked, no?” Jongho laughed as the girl shrugged

“It must be <Now or Never> given how they’re describing the song” San concluded

As SF9 started their stage, everyone wondered about what concept they’re going to show for this performance. 

“Omo. That was a mirror? Are they going for Snow White?” Minyoung asked outloud making Hongjoong look at her laughing “Why Snow White?” 

 “I don’t know. They’re wearing red outfits and Snow White has the Witch with the mirror. Don't mind me." Minyoung shook her head realizing how far fetched the theory sounded.

“Oh, I got goosebumps!” Jongho confessed as the song’s overall atmosphere was changed into a darker tone than usual, highlighting SF9’s vocal and acting abilities.

"What is Chanhee doing? Did he suck blood or something? Omo. Are they vampires? Is that what's happening?" Minyoung fired continuously, Wooyoung who was getting distracted by her comments reached out to place a hand over her mouth. "Shh. Let me watch in peace."

"I know I shouldn't say this when their concept is far from it but Dawon-sunbaenim looks adorable." Minyoung commented, trying to stifle her giggle, as Dawon's part came with a mirror on his back. "..it's like he is pouting"

San still focused on the performance pointed to the monitors and said "I have no idea what is happening but this performance screams SF9. It shows off their mature characteristics. It’s all sexy."

“Oh he took his heart.” Hongjoong noted as the music cut off for a second transitioning to a group dance sequence.

“Omo. SF9-sunbaenim. This is really sexy.” Minyoung mumbled with Wooyoung glancing at her, as the opportunity to tease her presented itself again, saying “Are you falling in-love right now?” Minyoung became flustered shaking her head, lightly hitting his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

“SF9-sunbaenim really showed off their acting skills. Their expressions were really on point.” Minyoung exclaimed clapping when the performance ended.

“I really got goosebumps throughout their stage. Wow.” Jongho agreed still in awe of how the performance went.

“But really..they know what the fans want. The fans love concepts that exude these charms and well, they have every capability and the confidence to pull off this concept. They’re all so cool.” Minyoung explained her thoughts from before as the other members nodded in agreement that SF9 does fit well with the concept.

“So are mature concepts are your style? Sexy?” Wooyoung continued to tease her while Minyoung blushed but kept quiet knowing that answering him would only fuel his teasing. 

While this was happening the members of the Minyoung protection squad, as fans would call Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Jongho, looked at each other with a silent agreement: make sure Minyoung doesn’t get too close with the rest of SF9 if they’re her type. If she’s going to be dating anyone then they have to get through at least the three of them before anything else.

All of the participants gathered inside the studio while waiting for the production staff to tally the results of Round 1 for both the expert’s evaluation and group evaluation. ATEEZ were seated beside iKON, a wish granted for the group as they all wanted to interact and get closer to their senior.

“Later..What time are you going?” Chanwoo asked Seonghwa who was seating beside him. 

“We’re probably going to go straight right after this finishes.” Seonghwa answered truthfully, Minyoung who also heard the question looked over, piping in “We still have a schedule around 8 today.”

Jinhwan nodded before asking “How many weeks has it been since the start of your comeback promotions?” at this the whole of ATEEZ had their full focus on iKON, a bit giddy for being able to talk with their idols.

Wooyoung immediately answering “The first week has ended so it’s the second week now.” to which Hongjoong adding in “We came back around the same time as sunbaenims.

“Ah but the choreography for Fireworks is really intense, how did you have the time and energy to do two performances together?” Jinhwan praised them, in awe and curious how they could manage to prepare for the round 1 stage while having to promote with such an intense song. ATEEZ laughed understanding what he meant but offering no comment.

“Were you the one who did the high notes?” Bobby asked Jongho beside him the latter nodding “Ah yes. I did it with Minyoung” motioning to the girl who bowed to the rapper. Bobby was smiling looking over the two vocalists when Jinhwan explained “Bobby said he became a fan.” 

“Ah. Thank you.” Minyoung surprised to hear the revelation bowed in thanks.

“Yeah really. Those high notes were just out of this world, more than the Kraken. For real..you’ll be first this time.” Bobby smiled as ATEEZ thanked them for the compliment.

Yunho taking in the opportunity to talk with iKON confessed that during their trainee period, everyone watched iKON’s performances and practiced their stages a lot. “That’s true. When we were trainees, during our monthly evaluations, everyone here did at least one iKON song for the test. We all did <Apology> and <Rhythm Ta> together.”

“That must have been tough.” Junhoe chuckled, thanking ATEEZ for liking their songs.

“How long has it been since your debut?” Bobby asked curiously

“We debuted in 2018.” Wooyoung answered

“Ah it has been a while. But it’s tough, isn’t it?” Bobby recalled his own experiences when they first debuted while ATEEZ just laughs awkwardly as they cannot deny that it does get tough. “When do you rest then?”

“When the promotion ends..” Jongho started trailing off, Hongjoong finishing the sentence for the maknae “When promotion ends, we get our breaks then.”

The continued to talk regarding promotions when Bobby suddenly asked them where their dorms are with Wooyoung readily describing the place making Bobby in particular excited as it is also near his residence. San invited him to visit the company sometime while Bobby agreed that he’ll drop by when he can.

“If there’s some time, it would be great to get a meal together.” DK suggested as all of ATEEZ agreed, excited at the idea.

“I’ll get your number sunbaenim.” Wooyoung shyly said making the rest of iKON chuckle and agree saying they should get each other’s contact number before they leave the studio today.

“I already have Minyoung’s number though?” Chanwoo confessed making his group members look at him in disbelief. “Yah. You didn’t tell us that though?” while ATEEZ looked at Minyoung who suddenly felt shy with all the attention she’s getting from both her members and iKON.

“We met through SF9′s Chani.” Chanwoo added in as the girl nodded.

“Ah but..we haven’t really talked after exchanging numbers.” Minyoung confessed shyly, wanting to hide herself or use Seonghwa as a shield. This information made both groups laugh, iKON acknowledging Chanwoo as a true insider for having celebrity friends outside of their company.

“That’s true. Sorry, let’s grab a meal together with Chani.” Chanwoo chuckled an apology. 

“Now we’re going to announce the results of Round 1 that you’re so curious about.” the MCs started while all the groups waited with bated breath. The atmosphere in the studio suddenly becoming tense as no one knew what criteria the experts used for their scores or who the experts were. They also didn’t know how the other groups voted. There were a lot of unknown factor in the show made it harder for the groups to anticipate the ranking for the round, particularly so since this is only 50% of their overall score.

Minyoung suddenly feeling nervous, held unto Wooyoung’s and Seonghwa’s hands, trying to get some comfort. She felt as if she’ll faint the longer it takes to announce the results. 

“Today’s first-place team will be given the authority to select the bracket for round two.” MC Changmin announced as all the groups gasp and commented that points aside, it’s a huge advantage to be able to do decide the bracket.

“I’m curious who the experts are.” Seonghwa wondered

As the MCs announced that all of the expert evaluation scores will be announce all at the same time, Minyoung closed her eyes tight mumbling “I cannot take this. Can you just tell me what the results are? I cannot watch. I’m too scared.”

“I’ll look for you.” Wooyoung patted the girls’ hand, giving it a light squeeze.

[What’s the result of the expert evaluation scores?]

As all of the members gasp, Minyoung who had her eyes closed asked scared “What is it?”

“Minyoung-ah, you can look.” Wooyoung let out a relieved sigh as ATEEZ placed first for the expert’s evaluation scores. At this, Minyoung peeked and immediately hugged the male in her joy. “I’m..reading it correctly right? We’re currently in first?” she asked as if in disbelief

“I’m actually relieved and glad that the things we wanted to do were actually conveyed properly.” Yunho confessed during the group interview.

As the results for the group evaluation were announced, Minyoung immediately hid behind Wooyoung scared that the rankings would change drastically.

[What will be the results of the teams’ evaluation?]

“ATEEZ you’re currently in first place. You wouldn’t want to step down. Do you think the others rooted for you?” the MC asked the group everyone nudged Jongho to answer for the team

“The eight of us finished our performance today without any regrets. Well...I’m not sure.” Jongho let out a laugh nervously as there really was no way to know how the other teams voted. Kingdom is still, after all, a competition. Everyone could have voted strategically to secure the points.

The MCs continued on with the show and as soon as the results were all announced, ATEEZ finally felt like they were able to breathe. They kept the number 1 spot even as the group evaluations were added in. Minyoung bit her lip trying not to cry as she felt the pressure lift off a bit. Seonghwa noticing it, rubbed circles on her back smiling at her. Minyoung turned to him and placed her head against his arm as she took deep breathes to calm herself down.

When asked how she felt during their interview “It just..It feels like our efforts were seen not only by the experts but also by the senior groups. We felt disappointed during the Introduction Stages so we steeled ourselves to do better and rise up the ranks but to actually be rewarded with the top spot just made me feel overwhelmed. It’s like hearing everyone say ‘good job today’ after a long day of hard work.”

“The past two weeks were really hard on us. All of the members has many moments when we were exhausted both physically and emotionally. One thing I can say confidently now that the results came out is that it was really hard, but we did our best. I think I can say that now.” Hongjoong concluded nodding

“We did well. ATEEZ is so lovely.” San adding in making the rest of the members smile, even Minyoung who was trying to fan her eyes with Jongho patting her back in comfort.

“Since we won first place, let’s take this energy and work hard to prepare for a great and fun performance.” Hongjoong declared before they did their team cheer “9 makes 1 team. Let’s do it!”

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ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for entertainment. Thank you for understanding.

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Writing Beary Corner

I seriously wanted to cry when I had to rewrite this because the site ate my drafted one. I don’t think I was able to capture the initial feeling anymore and it definitely got a whole lot shorter after rewriting but I tried to at least..make it a bit decent.  Again, I have already drafted posts up to the Reborn stage but Kingdom “episodes” would be slowly posted to avoid spoilers for the people who haven’t watched it yet. 

Thank you and I hope you enjoy reading this!

-Mimi

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