#shes always slow on figuring the homos

[crittersplatter]

*watching dungeon meshi with my family*

My mom: WAIT WAIT *grabs remote and pauses*

My fam: ????

My mom: is marcille supposed to be in love with fallin???? Like she talks about her... a lot

My family: YES

My mom: ooooohhhh

We are on episode 20

[101ocs]

Leslie’s Birthday

[A/N]: MY CUNTRY BABY!!!! MWAH!! im gonna try to actually write things for these homos birthdays from now on…but don’t expect much. TW: none! :3

Leslie was beyond excited about his tenth birthday. Double digits were a big deal in the Sawyer household, especially when it came to their traditional celebration. The gigantic homemade cake, the extra presents, the special treatment — oh, Leslie was thrilled about this day more than anything in his entire life.

The window above his bed was cracked open just enough to allow the morning breeze to pass through, sending the curtains into a dance recital that they were unprepared for. The sun had not yet shown its face by the time little Leslie jumped out of bed, putting his clothes on, and rushing from his room. His momentum didn’t slow once, not even to go down the creaky staircase or to open the screechy screen door. In the back of his mind, he was anxious that his mama would come hollering at him for running around so early, but at least for now, he was in the clear.

“Johnny?” he called for his brother with a smile stuck to his face. He predicted that his brother would be stretched across the couch, stripped down to just boxers and his hair a complete mess. (Like always.) However, when he stepped inside the otherwise forbidden area, the absence of his brother was foreboding.

Not today. He couldn’t be gone today.

After two laps around the cluttered shack, Leslie came to face the inevitable wave of sadness. He tried to justify his disappearance, went through every excuse in the book – he had something important that came up, he forgot what day it was, he was just taking a break, he didn’t think he’d care, desperate thoughts piling up in his brain until all the rest were snuffed out.

Once Leslie wandered back into the house, he wasn’t very surprised by his Uncle Drayton’s presence. Cooking up breakfast right and early as usual, he stood in front of the stove with the melody of sizzling ingredients bouncing wall to wall. After a moment or two of consideration, Leslie knew all too well that there wasn’t any possibility of avoiding confrontation with him. Why? Well, mostly because he’d heard Leslie’s footsteps forever ago and to ignore his presence would be a death sentence. So, begrudgingly, little Leslie took a seat at the table and patiently waited for the others to wake up with a defeated look on his face.

“Happy birthday, boy.” Drayton turned to him with a panhandle tightly gripped in his dominant hand. “What’re you doing mopin’ around?”

There was a slight hesitancy on Leslie’s behalf. He knew that alarming the adults would only cause Johnny more trouble in the end, but lying to them would be a worse fate.

“I went to go see Johnny,” he said.

That response alone told Drayton the tale he was unbearably sick of. “…I’m hopin’ yer gonna tell me he’s on his way in here.”

Just as Leslie prepared himself to tell him, his mama made an appearance. It was always like that. Whenever Johnny was mentioned even slightly in conversation, Nancy was sure to be present to defend his honor. Leslie liked that about her. He figured she’d do the same for him.

“Happy Birthday, baby!” Nancy sang, extending her arms out to give Leslie a hug. He flinched and cringed in response to her arms around him. (He was not a fan of physical touch.) “Why’re you sitting there? Today’s your special day! You should sit in the big boy chair!” She gestured toward the head of the table where Grandpa usually sat. Leslie’s face flushed from the thought of being permitted to sit in such a position.

“Damn knucklehead, where’d he run off to on a day like this?” Drayton snapped absentmindedly to himself while Nancy readjusted Leslie into his new seat. “Couldn’t afford to stick ‘round for yer own kid brother’s birthday…”

Evidently from the look on her face, Nancy didn’t like her brother’s tone. She held back from scolding him in front of Leslie, knowing it would only cause him to become more disgruntled with Johnny’s disappearance, and set the table instead.

“Well, it must’ve been for good reason, don’t you think?” Nancy shot a smile in Leslie’s direction in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Drayton grumbled a few insults under his breath before begrudgingly responding. “If you count chasin’ hussies ‘round, sure.”

“I’ll have you know that my baby boy would never—!”

Footsteps the volume of thunder crashed down every individual stair leading into the kitchen to reveal the one and only Nubbins Sawyer. An audible groan between the bickering duo erupted before the obnoxious show Nubbins had prepared for the morning struck into action.

“Booyah!” he hollered before retreating to Leslie’s side, hovering his twitchy hands over his head. “H-Hey, Les! Whatcha doin’ sittin’ in Grandpa’s chair? O-Oh! That’s right! It’s yer b-birthday, ain’t it? It’s yer birthday!”

Leslie giggled as Nubbins reached under his armpits and tickled him, sitting down in the seat beside him.

“Y’know, I-I’ma big fan of birthday cakes. You wanna l-lemme have the first bite? I’ll tell you if it’s good!”

“Oh, stop tryna cheat that boy outta his cake!” Drayton hissed with a waving finger. Much to Nubbins’ dismay, he was backed up by Nancy’s harsh glare.

Not long after Nubbins’ appearance came Bubba, who was surprisingly excited for the day to begin. He hurried over to Leslie’s side, eyeing him up to dissect every little detail of his joyful expression, before sitting across from Nubbins. Although both Nubbins and Bubba typically sat toward the end of the table on an ordinary day, the seating arrangement that Bubba chose riled Nubbins up.

He stood from his unofficial assigned seat and swung his shaky hands around, eyebrows furrowed in spiteful anger. “Th-That ain’t yer seat! That’s Sissy’s seat! You tryna steal Sissy’s seat?!”

Bubba released a whimper of distress as he stood to fix his mistake. And to no one’s surprise, Leslie disliked that idea altogether.

“I don’t think Sissy would mind him sittin’ there for today. Grandpa don’t mind me sittin’ in his seat! It’s a special occasion.” Leslie’s soft and assertive voice seemed to work wonders against Nubbins’ ball of emotions.

Lowering himself back into his seat, Nubbins laughed airlessly and clutched at the seams of his pants. “Sp-special occasion…right, it’s a special occasion. Yer birthday!”

The two brothers roared up into a fit of cheering and clapping that was strangely in sync with each other. Despite the situation being solved smoothly, Drayton didn’t appreciate the screeching.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, to youuu! Happy Birthday, it’s yer birthday, Happy Birthdaaaaay to yooou!”

“Oh, would you shut up?!” he snapped, slamming down the plate stacked with pancakes into the middle of the table. “That ain’t even how the song goes!”

Nubbins snatched two of the baked goods off the serving platter and stuffed them into his mouth precariously, leaving everyone else baffled. Nancy groaned in disgust as Drayton whacked him in the back of his skull, causing him to nearly choke. Bubba and Leslie laughed.

Unsurprisingly, hours went by without any sign of Johnny. Because of this missing link to Leslie’s ultimate happiness, every family member dedicated themselves to the task of distracting him. (Much to Nancy’s demands.) Drayton let him pick out the colors for the icing on the cake, Nubbins gifted him an assortment of nick-nacks and spare change, Sissy and Bubba accompanied him in the garden for a grand performance (that Nubbins quickly hijacked), and his mama helped him style his wild curls. But even after all of this, he couldn’t help but begin slouching his shoulders and letting his bright smile dim. He wanted his big brother.

Attempting to read BATMAN upside down while hanging off a tree branch by his legs, Leslie’s freshly styled hair swayed in the breeze. The words of exposition never made a whole lot of sense to him, so he was sticking with the dialogue that jumped from side to side throughout the page. The Joker would say a funny line, Batman would one-up him with something badass, and then they were off fighting again. Leslie never got tired of it.

“Angel-face, where have you been?” Nancy’s voice interrupted the narrative in his head, immediately causing him to lower his magazine and look at her. She was completely upside down from his angle. “I was inside searchin’ for you. Everything okay?”

With bright eyes, Leslie hurried to answer her. “Yeah! Is my cake almost done?”

Releasing a sigh of relief, his mother seated herself right at the trunk of the tree. Leslie, understanding that she wanted his undivided attention, hopped down and joined right beside her.

“Dessert doesn’t come before dinner, does it? But yes, I think your cake is well underway. Uncle Dray’s been workin’ on it all day.” Nancy pinched his cheek with a raspy chuckle, entertained by his discomfort of being touched. “But that ain’t important. I wanna know why you’re out here all by yourself! Are they botherin’ you? Don’t be afraid to snitch, I’ll send them boys home.”

Even if it had something to do with his cousins, Leslie wouldn’t snitch anyway. He instead jumped to defend them, knowing how ruthless his mother could be to those who attempted to harm either of her children. “No, they’re fine!”

“Then what’s going on? You’re reading your Batty-man books again.”

“Batman, ma. He’s my favorite superhero.”

Nancy never understood the appeal of comic books. Then again, she wasn’t ten, so what did she know? She examined the art briefly before letting her eyes explore Leslie’s expression. His smile was warm.

“What’s his powers?” she asked curiously. When Johnny was younger, he liked to ramble about their powers the most. She never really listened to what he had to say, being busy or too tired to comprehend every detail, but she knew the general idea.

“He doesn’t have any,” Leslie hummed. “Both his parents were murdered when he was real young, so he dedicated himself to avenging them by killin’ the one who did it. That’s why he’s me and Johnny’s favorite.”

The story was too familiar for Nancy’s liking. “Why?”

“‘Cause even though he’s a good guy…” Leslie pointed at a panel where Batman killed many of The Joker’s henchmen. “…he got some bad in ‘em, too.”

Again, the story had a reflection on Leslie's reality much to Nancy’s distaste. Furrowing her eyebrows and pursing her lips into a thin line, she changed the subject a bit too abruptly than she would’ve liked.

“Listen, Leslie. Your brother loves you very much. He’s just…he’s going through some hard times right now.”

Leslie set his comic book down with a frown that seemed to cast over his entire face. “I know, mama. I’m not upset.”

“It’s okay to be upset if you are…” she said. Despite her understanding and assuring tone, Leslie knew all too well what would happen if he did open up to her about how he felt about it — Johnny would come home and be forced to hear the neverending story about just how much he hurt his little brother by leaving on his birthday. That alone would make him leave again, if not for longer, so the idea of revealing his true emotions on the matter was less than ideal.

Avoiding her eyes, he looked off into the distance. The silhouette of their house made him frown even more.

“It’s okay.”

Lowering her voice, Nancy spoke to him in an assertive yet loving way. “Today’s a big deal, y’know. Double digits means big stuff in our family. My baby’s getting so big already.”

Leslie playfully whined once she planted a big kiss on the side of his face. Though, he liked the scent of her perfume.

“I’m not big at all, mama. Not like Johnny…”

“Oh, stop that. Johnny was just as tall as you at that age.” She pulled away to lift her arm up and compare his size to her recollection. “Maybe just had an inch on you.”

Leslie hummed contently, allowing his mother to wrap her arms around him despite his distaste for physical affection. And in that moment, he felt like everything would be okay.

/—/—/—/—/—/—/—\—\—\—\—\—\—\

Johnny hated how loud that damn engine was. As soon as he pulled into the dirt driveway, he felt like he had only a few moments before the entire family knew of his presence and came to bother him. Luckily the coughing and wheezing of the vehicle hadn’t lured them out fast enough to prevent him from finishing his cigarette, so followed through with it and decided against parking near the front. (He always had a better chance of being undetected if he snuck in through the back.)

After a painfully loud stop, Johnny took a moment to rest his head back and close his eyes, sighing heavily to release the smoke from his lips. His little brother’s birthday. Double digits. Walking through that door was going to be hell. But nevertheless, he grabbed his present and got out of the car with the same stride he left with, spitting his cancer stick out before anyone could see and scold him.

The house looked even worse than it usually did. Johnny blamed it on the dread growing in his stomach.

Upon cracking the back door open and sliding his way through as quietly as possible, Johnny finally understood why he hadn’t been bothered yet — a loud, and evidently intense, argument was taking place in the next room. Dishes clattering against each other, things being slammed, but more importantly, two grating voices going at it.

“You raised those boys to be soft, Nancy! We’ve all been tellin’ you this, but it’s always one ear out the other! We aren’t raisin’ city sissies, we’re raisin’ the future of this family!”

Drayton. As per usual.

“All you do is babble on about how soft my boys are while yours can’t even hold a sensible conversation for more than five minutes! I don’t really want to hear what’s good for our family. Besides, my Johnny is perfectly capable of dealing with our livestock and luring more folk in than you’d be able to accomplish in six years! Johnny—!”

“We’re not talkin’ about Johnny no more! We’re talkin’ about Leslie!”

“Leslie? What about Leslie? Sweet Leslie can read, and write, and work in that heat all day without bitching—!”

“But he fumbles the bag when livestock is involved, doesn’t he?”

“Will you have some decency for once and realize that this was his first time?! You can’t expect every single person in this family to catch onto things like this so quickly!”

“Johnny did, didn’t he? Why doesn’t he meet his brother’s stride?

“Johnny was different. We both know that.”

“Different, how? How is he any different from the boy you raised since birth, huh? You tell me!”

Nancy hesitated. Johnny waited for her answer, staring at the family portrait hung up on the wall. He looked so young then. They all did. Their mother, himself – shells of what they used to be – and little Leslie. The old Leslie was practically identical to the present. Maybe a little more hardened up and rough around the edges, but that smile and those eyes never left him for a second. He was a good kid. Johnny hated the idea that he’d become anything else – that he’d become like him.

“Johnny was always with it. By the time he was Leslie’s age, he’d already gone off and seen everything there was to see. Hands is to blame for some of that, but even before that, Johnny would go off just for the hunt. I’d always catch him tryna kill something, animals and whatnot. That’s just what Johnny does. Now Leslie…he’s always been a good boy, Dray. You and I both know that. He just needs some more time, that’s all. He’ll get the hang of it.”

Johnny’s head lowered ever so slightly, taking a moment to reflect on those words before heading up the stairs.

Leslie’s room was at the end of the hallway. With slight hesitance, Johnny approached his bedroom door with his present in-hand, trying his hardest to muster up a smile to greet him with. Then, with a deep breath, he cracked the door open.

On the floor, Leslie sat at his opened window sill with his head lowered and his hands clasped together. It didn’t take very long for Johnny to realize he was praying. The muffled voices from downstairs were loud enough to distract Leslie from hearing Johnny enter fully, even shutting the door behind himself.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Leslie jumped from the sound of his voice, hurriedly lowering his hands into his lap and turning to him with wide eyes. “Johnny…”

Standing from his position on the floor, Leslie sniffled and wiped his tears, presumably embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state. Johnny watched with a mixture of confusion and anger swirling in his chest — and guilt, of course.

“You shouldn’t be crying on your birthday, y’know. It’s bad luck.” Johnny chuckled to himself and sat down on the bed, setting his present aside for a better moment. “Wipe those eyes and come here.”

Leslie did what was asked of him, sitting down by his brother after he signaled to. Then, in a matter of seconds, he burst into tears again. Not tears, sobs. Johnny hadn’t heard him sob since he broke his arm three years ago, but even then, it wasn’t as bad as this.

Johnny stared at him for a long while. The conflict in his mind grew seeing his brother this way. Their family wasn’t very fond of having soft moments, typically leaving the troubled individual to deal with their emotional turmoil in their own way. Comforting and consoling was cut off at a certain point of aging. This certain point.

But even knowing this, Johnny could only see his little brother in horrible distress.

“What happened, Les?”

Leslie choked on his tears, bringing his legs up to the mattress to tuck them into his chest. “Th-They brought in a man for m-me to kill a-and I couldn’t do it…!”

Johnny scoffed with a snarky laugh. “Oh, stop it, Les! Who cares? Why’re you crying over something like that?”

“Everyone’s m-mad at me…!”

“Uncle D’s mad, sure, but who gives a damn, really? He’s always mad about something…I’ll tell you this, I’ll go do something to make him even angrier and he’ll drop it. Deal? Deal.”

Leslie grabbed his arm before he could stand up, pulling it close to his chest. “No!”

Rolling his eyes, Johnny let him cradle his arm close, watching him with an entertained smile. “You need to stop being such a suck-up, Les. It’s fine. You don’t have to make everyone happy all the damn time. Look, Mom’s happy with you. I’m happy with you. You’re golden.”

“Johnny…” he hiccupped, snot and tears rolling down his face like a waterfall. “I’m sorry…”

Johnny’s once playful demeanor slightly shifted as he relaxed his arm Leslie held, allowing him to have full control over it.

“I-I…I had the blade right against his throat, but I just couldn’t move. Everyone was watching me. Everyone was rooting for me. A-And I still…”

Johnny subtly moved a little closer while adjusting his captured arm, blinking slowly to take in Leslie’s countenance. He looked like that same cute, helpless baby he knew all those years ago — pathetic and innocent. And in a moment, Johnny could read him like a book.

“This is my fault.”

Leslie’s head snapped up. Their eyes met.

“You needed me to be there for you and I wasn’t. You would’ve done it if I were there.”

“…” He didn’t deny it.

“I’m sorry, Leslie. I ruined your birthday all ‘cause I wanted to get away from that Godforsaken woman. I should’ve just stuck it out for you. So much of a brother, huh?”

And without any warning, Leslie wrapped his arms around him. It was an unprecedented move on his part, considering how much he hated physical contact — a rare side of him. Johnny, in awe but mostly worried about his behavioral changes, hesitated to embrace him. He wasn’t really a hug-type of guy either.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my big brother.”

Johnny’s hesitance instantly ceased once he heard those words, giving him a hefty pat on his back to show his appreciation. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my little brother.”

Leslie smiled weakly and wiped his tears on Johnny’s shirt, causing him to groan playfully in disgust. Ruffling his hair soon after, Johnny finally grew tired of the affection and gently pushed Leslie away, dusting himself off and shuddering from the lasting sensation of another’s warmth. Then, with that same sly smile, he presented that gift he carried all night. Leslie wiped his face again and hurriedly snatched it up.

“It’s from the city,” Johnny hummed.

Leslie’s eyes lit up a little before he focused his attention back toward the box, tearing away its poorly decorated exterior. (Johnny had tried his best, but he wasn’t exactly a crafty person. The best he could do was put a bow on it.)

Shaking it around impatiently, Leslie listened inside the plain box for an indication on what it was. Johnny smacked his knuckles to stop him, which he did, pouting his lips and sniffling.

Eager for his reaction, Johnny lifted one foot onto the bed and moved closer, watching him like a hawk. “C’mon, let’s see it.”

Lifting the lid off the box, Leslie hurriedly took a good look into the interior. His eyes lit up like two flashlights — just as Johnny hoped they would.

“Seriously?! There’s no way!”

“What? What is it?” Johnny hummed.

Excited laughter echoed through the room as he pulled out the figurine, showcasing his favorite superhero of all time, Batman. The doll was evidently made with care, having every detail and joint in firm place. Leslie examined everything about it all at once, twisting and turning the toy at different angles to see just how correct the costume was. Within seconds of truly grasping what great quality it was in, Leslie jumped right back into Johnny’s arms with a squeal.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Jesus Christ! You weigh a ton.”

“This had to be super expensive! How much—?”

“You’re not supposed to ask how much, stupid. It’s rude.”

Hoisting him up by his armpits, Johnny ensured he had a good grip on his new toy before slamming him against the mattress. Leslie laughed hysterically and kicked as hard as he could, knocking the wind out of him by hitting his stomach.

“Fuuuck…”

“Hahaha! Suck it up, man,” Leslie teased, sitting back up to give a ritualistic smack to the back of his head. “I didn’t even hit you that hard.”

Johnny scoffed. “Guess you got me back for leaving you today. Good play.”

“Thanks!”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Johnny finally released his stomach and sat up straight almost to remind him of who he was dealing with. “…Cocky son of a bitch. You wanna go?”

Leslie played a tough front and shrugged. “Not really.”

“Come on, just an arm wrestle this time,” Johnny whined, desperately trying to get him to agree just to utterly destroy him.

“Nah. Kinda wanna play with my super cool Batman figurine my super cool brother got me.”

Finally standing from the bed, Johnny gave Leslie a good ruffle of his hair before reaching into his pocket for a new cigarette. “You better not break that shit…it was hella hard to sneak past the store owner with it.”

“Why would you be sneaking past?”

“…”

“Johnny?”

“Happy birthday, Les.”

[sassyabbs]

Smut headcanons: Harry Potter.

[Notes: Well here´s the next one, gotta love this man]

TW: NSFW CONTENT!, Bdsm, dom/sub relationships, Dom! Harry Potter, degradation kink, somnophilia, nudism, cock warming, sensation play, bondage, blindfolds, sex in semi-public spaces, marks and hickeys, aftercare and mentions of BDSM clubs.

BDSM is a yes for him.

He didn't believe that it would make it for him, it sounded like the worst type of torture.

But when he started to go to clubs, accidentally went into a BDSM club, where he saw his first scene.

That made his dick harder than a rock, of course, but he laso couldn't stop watching how the little sub was making a big effort to not cum and how they reacted when their dom praised them.

He wanted that, to hold someone like that even when there was no touch between the two of them.

Harry discovered a whole new world again, he witnessed an endless amount of scenes, read several books, different newspapers and the more confident he was, the more he dared to try.

It was the scariest thing for him to hurt a sub, so he had an insane amount of anxiety the first time he had an scene.

But he's Harry Potter, the scene went great, a little slow but it was a great start.

He has many fixed kinks, and some that if he didn't dislike, he would do them just to please his sub of the moment.

Of course that when you too met, it was the perfect match, even before sex. You two talked and moved around each other as if you were an old married couple.

Somnophilia was one of the most prominent kinks, after the war his sleep was always light, and when a sub of his told him he could have whatever he wanted while she was asleep, he had no turning back.

"Shhh go back to sleep, love, I just came homo from a mission. I didn't meant to wake you up."

It was the best way to wake up, him pounding you from behind, his ragged breathing trying not to wake you up and when he notices your eyes open, his thrusts deepen until you both come.

Blindfold his sub is one of his favourite things to ever do. He feels so powerful everytime that his sub let him blindfold them.

He knew how vulnerable it was for them, and something inside him warms up with appreciation for the trust his subs give him.

Sometimes he would blind fold you for the entire day, he would go on with his day, with the exception that he could look up at any moment and see your pretty figure waiting for him.

"You are the most beautiful decoration that I own."

Other times it would be only in the scenes, keeping you tied in a star shape while playing with your sensations, passing feathers, ice, ropes or whatever comes to mind at the moment.

"Don't move , I'm not done with you yet."

Other times he would take you in front of the mirror, just to pull your hair and remove the blindfold at the last minute and say "look how pretty you are when you come."

Another of his problems was that he loved skirts a little to much, specially the short ones. Leather, pleated, flared, latex, all of them.

He also when you were wearing them for him with no underwear.

And those that if someone looks a lot at your thighs they might see some of the love bites that he left behind.

It drove him crazy to see you walk in skirts, to see how your thighs rubbed against each other and how your hips move with every step you take.

That mixed with his impulsiveness often led both of you to get off in the street, with him leading you to an empty alley and crushing you against the wall.

The adrenaline of doing it in a public place also turned him on, but it was not something you two did regularly, with Harry being the boy-who-lived it wouldn't be strange that a photographer is following you all the time.

However "You would love that right? that they photograph us with my cock buried inside you so that they see that you are only mine, wouldn't you? Sure you would, look at you, you're soaked just thinking about it." Harry would say against your ear.

Being naked in the house was another of his favorite things, he could see you all he wanted and you could do the same with him.

However, if he wanted you to know he's angry, he would put some clothes on and order you to stay naked.

He could see all the marks that he had made on you throughout the week, the love bites on the lower part of the breasts, the mark of a rope on your ankle that rubbed you too much, hickeys on your neck and collarbones, everything.

"Come here, I want to see that ass from a better angle."

He would come home from work and you will greet him naked, because there are no longer any 'house clothes'.

Clearly he had to take action for that, the fireplace was always closed even for Ron and Hermione, only you twl could appear inside the house and the windows were enchanted so that you couldn't see through the glass from the outside.

In the same way that Harry liked risk in public, he also liked to push you against a window and threaten to remove the enchantment so everyone could see you surrender to him.

You know that he really wouldn't, he tries to hide it, but you know he loves being the only one who sees you like this, and wouldn't want to share you with anyone else.

He hates having paperwork to do at home, so you often help him from under the desk, keeping his cock warm.

"Stay there, I'm almost done and we can go to dinner later. "

The aftercare was one his favorite parts ever, holding you against his chest telling you how good you were even if you weren't.

He would get you clean, while playing your hair and kissing your forehead.

"Thanks, love that was amazing."

[detectivehannibal]

Desk Dreams

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut...lol have fun.

A/N: Testing my smut writing skills I see...I tried to weasel Will into this, but I’d hardly consider this a Will oneshot. I struggled so hard with this smh.

Requested by: @no-homo-hank

Prompt: also.. if i may request something sm*tty. personally i think your writing is so good. soo maybe something in his office yk yk like if the reader has a *sexy* dream about him,, and she has to tell him,, idk idk and only if you’re comfortable with it ofc! thanks :)

Word Count: 1,697

“Is it so wrong to change things up a little?”

__

You couldn’t get it out of your head. The images, the sounds, the touches, the smells. You had tried to shake it off all morning. You had brewed an extra strong cup of coffee hoping to rid your conscious of the less than appropriate dream from the night before, but to no avail. You never really had dreams, and you especially didn’t have such scandalous ones. On top of that, you definitely never had sex dreams about your therapist. 

Sure, you found him attractive in more ways than just his striking intelligence. However, the thought of anything that wasn’t purely professional had never crossed your mind. You knew what Hannibal thought about dreams. He had mentioned to you before that they are often a crucial tell-tale of a person’s mental state most of the time. That was the part you couldn’t figure out.

What did having such a racy dream mean for you?

You pondered the thought on your way to your session. You desperately wished that you didn’t have to go today, but you knew you’d be questioned about it next session if you canceled. You entered his office’s waiting room, there were no other patients at that time. You weren’t surprised, considering most people tried to push for the afternoon appointments. You took your normal seat, knowing that Dr. Lecter and Will Graham would be finished shortly. Will Graham’s appointments were always before yours, and you always noted how Will always looked as if his brain had been completely picked apart when he exited.

You often wondered what sort of things they talked about.

Sure enough, the door opened a few minutes later, Hannibal seeing Will out of his office. 

“I will see you soon, Will.” Hannibal said to Will, who had pretty much already ended the conversation. 

Will spotted you waiting and actually offered a smile. He didn’t know you outside of the waiting room, but well enough to know your name and speak to you.

“Hello, [Y/N],” He greeted, leaning in slightly; “He’s acting strangely today.” He whispered.

You gave him a confused look, but returned the greeting before he dashed off and out of the building. What did he mean by “acting strangely”? There was only one way to find out. 

“[Y/N], are you ready?” Hannibal asked, inviting you into his office.

You nodded, entering swiftly. When you passed by him, a familiar scent enriched your nose. The smell of his cologne was exquisite and suddenly sparked your memory of the dream from the night before. So that was what you smelled in the dream. You had never paid attention to it before. 

Speaking of the dream, it was suddenly all you could think about. You sat in one of his chairs, immediately striking Hannibal as out of character. He decided to hold off on mentioning it yet. 

“Good morning. How are you?” He asked, sitting in the chair in front of you.

Your leg bounced anxiously as you found yourself in a trance, raking over his features. Had his hair always been so nice? Were his eyes always so enticing? You caught his gaze, waiting for you to give an answer.

“Huh? Oh! I’m doing well.” You said, beginning to feel a heat creep over your cheeks.

His hand briefly went up to his collar to readjust his tie. You basically stopped yourself from salivating. His hands were...so perfect. 

“You’re nervous.” He announced.

You denied. You denied hard. You would not let him through to you today. You’d die of embarrassment.

“Nope. Not nervous,” You said, visibly nervous; “What makes you say that?”

His expression was calculating. He was soaking you up like a sponge to sink water, taking everything in to be squeezed out again.

“For starters, you’re sitting. You usually walk around during our sessions,” He noted; “Secondly, your entire demeanor is tense.” 

Your leg stopped bouncing and you slowly stood from your chair, you began to try and walk as you normally did, but it ended up being more of a pace. 

“Is it so wrong to change things up a little?” You asked as casually as possible.

He looked so good in that light blue shirt. 

“No, but there’s always a reason for such change.” He bantered.

You shot him a look. It was hard to get anything past him. 

“I just...” You tried to come up with an excuse, but turned up short. 

He waited patiently, his gaze never leaving yours. You sighed in defeat. 

“Dreams are normal, right?” You asked, preparing to bite the bullet.

He nodded simply.

“Certainly.” 

You chewed your lip in thought, careful with how you approached this. You fiddled with the hem of your sweater.

“I had a rather interesting dream last night,” You confessed; “It wasn’t anything I had ever experienced.”

He was listening intently, not quite following what you were getting at.

“What did you dream about?” He prompted.

You felt a sudden rise in your throat. This was painful to admit.

“Well, you were in me- uh, I mean...in it.” You said, mentally cursing at yourself for your embarrassing slip up.

A wave of realization was clear on his face as he connected the dots. You wanted nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die.

“[Y/N], I can assure you that sexual fantasy dreams are quite normal.” He said in an attempt to comfort you.

You groaned miserably, burying your face in your hands. You were humiliated. You’d have to request a different therapist. Maybe even seek out a totally different counseling practice.

“Dreams often must be explored to be understood. Tell me more about the content of this dream.” He requested calmly.

Your blood went hot. What? Why did he want to know that? You looked to him, surprised to see that he was completely serious. You rubbed your palms together nervously.

“I came in for my usual session. The energy was different. You were looking at me in a way you don’t usually,” You explained; “The conversation took a turn and...we had sex.”

His expression remained unchanged, but you weren’t close enough yet to see the fire in his eyes. He stood from his seat and took slow strides over towards you. You were sure he could hear your thumping heart.

“How was I looking at you?” He questioned, his voice thick and smooth.

That’s when you saw the riled up glaze in his eyes. A sudden wave of emotion and arousal crashed over you. This was really going to happen.

“Just like you are now.” You breathed out.

Instantly, his lips were on yours. Passionate and needy, but steady and calculated too. His hands gripped your waist, pushing you towards his desk. He shimmied you onto the cool, dark wood and allowed you to remove his suit blazer. 

Your mind was racing, but your movements were faster. You untucked his dress shirt from his pants while his fingertips worked on unbuttoning your jeans. It was a hot, heavy silence as the two of you stripped down enough to get the job done. His mouth was hot on your neck once your pants were casted aside, sucking a hickey on your most sensitive spot. 

“Dr. Lecter, I...” You trailed off, your mind too clouded with pleasure to offer any kind of sentence.

This felt so wrong, but so right at the same time. You were thankful for patient-doctor confidentiality. 

“Hannibal.” He corrected, unbuckling his belt and getting his pants down to his ankles.

Woah. First name basis. That was new. Hannibal really seemed to know his way around a woman. You found that rather shocking.

“Is this your means of dream exploration?” You joked, giving a breathy laugh.

“Something like that.” He replied.

He pulled himself from his boxers, stroking a few times before gingerly pushing himself inside of you. A synchronized moan drew from the both of you as he pushed through your walls, traveling as deep as he could go. He pushed your back down onto the desk, watching you sprawl out desperately for him.

He began with slow thrusts to allow you to adjust to his length, but hit the sweetest of spots each time he went back in. He grasped one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist so he could get a better angle. He had one hand on your throat, wrapped firmly but not uncomfortably. 

“Hannibal, please. Faster.” You begged, your tone coming out as a whine.

He hummed in response, his pace beginning to pick up. Your hands gripped the edge of the desk as the sounds of skin and rattling desk objects echoed in your ears. He admired the way your eyes glassed over in pleasure, his own forehead beginning to break out into a sweat. 

“Was this how your dream played out?” He asked, the slightest bit of strain in his voice; “On my desk...in the middle of a session.”

You nodded in response, but that wasn’t enough.

“Use your words.” He ordered, slamming back into you again.

“Yes.” You groaned out.

“Good girl.” He praised, moving his pace even faster.

This wasn’t how he’d usually pleasure a woman. He preferred something a little more timed out and slow, but you needed something spontaneous and fast. He could feel it radiating off of you. Your mind bounced back and forth from the dream to this present moment. This was too good to be true.

Your legs tightened around his waist, signaling to him that you were awfully close. He himself felt a twitch, looks like you were going to both finish on time. He continued to pound into you, your moans relentlessly sounding out into the air. Your high-pitched, surprised gasp alerted your release, his own spilling out just a few moments later. 

Your moans and sounds dwindled into heavy breathing, your chests heaving to catch up. He collapsed onto your shaky frame, your hand resting in his hair. You could barely comprehend what had just happened. You suddenly had a whole new reason to come to therapy. Hannibal lifted his head, pride written all over his face.

“I think...we’ll pick this back up next week.”

[beebabycastiel]

for fic mashup: 6 x 73

Anon. My love. This is THE best kush!

- Ian works the late shift at some used book store. Mickey is looking for a gift for Mandy for Christmas. Some witchy shit because she’s gotten into spooky-goth babe stuff and he’s supportive.

- Mickey walks in a la “YOU GOT ANY SLIM JIMS IN THIS SHITHOLE” Only its “YOU GOT ANY TAROT GUIDE BOOKS IN THIS SHITHOLE?”

- Ian of course is like: “In theory.” Because any good used bookstore for sure have an occult/spiritual sections but good luck having that section one, defined and two, encompassing. But he’s bored. The shop’s empty and this short dude is thick and cute in his clearly hand knitted scarf so he walks him over.

- Mickey is understandable overwhelmed because one, holy shit they have a lot of books and two, it’s always been a personal headcanon of mine that Mickey’s dyslexic so all that small print flipped sideways? Just stab him and get it over with.

- Ian is Looking Respectfully at Mickey as he glares at the spines of all these cracked, peeling books and he can tell that he’s struggling but he’s like “nah man. I’m just gonna go close out the til” and so after the requisite “let me know if I can help you find anything” he goes to count the til.

- He notices the snow is REALLY coming down, but it’s the Midwest. The weather is damn near unpredictable, so he doesn’t really pay attention.

- Mickey is still lost, but after a while he says fuck it, grabs four books at random and heads towards the gangly looking fucker running the store apparently. He’s cute. Mickey thinks so. But he’s gotta get home before the trains shut down because of the snow. So he can’t do the patterned Milkovich “wanna bang???”

- Ian has long since closed out everything except the cutie in the store’s purchases, so now he’s just trying to figure out if his gaydar can be trusted around such a cute guy AND what’s the best way to hit on customer when Mickey comes up.

- It’s snowing. Oh god is it snowing. It’s piling up and the streets are slowing draining of cars and people and any other movement except for snow.

- Ian is just printing a receipt, trying to figure out the best way to say “hey. Wanna get coffee or just like fuck and then get food afterwards?” When the power goes out.

- Minor panic ensues. Mickey is pissed because if the powers out in this place then the trains have already shut down due to the weather. Ian is like “oh fuck. I’m the employee here I’m the responsible party shit.” But he’s still trying to shoot his shot (and figure out if his gaydar is working correctly or his dick is working against him) so he goes, “man. I hope this isn’t keeping you from your girl.”

- Mickey, of course, knows what the cute doofus is doing, but he’s still upset about the trains so he says: “the only thing keeping me here is the goddamn snow. Your fishing is fucking tragic by the way!”

- Ian is suitable Dunked. But that wasn’t a “no homo” so he tries again. They end up talking while Ian calls the power company to see when the fuck the powers gonna be on. And then his boss to see what he’s supposed to do. The more they talk the more they realize they sorta-kinda like each other.

- They spend the rest of the time Stuck talking and joking. Ian asks about the books and Mickey talks about his family (a very abridged version) Ian talks about his (a Deluxe version). They talk about their jobs and their hobbies. All sitting kinda sorta close on the couch in the break room because it’s getting colder and colder the longer the powers out.

- The power comes on a few hours later. Mickey and Ian are at the point essentially cuddling under both their coats and when the lights kick on it startled Mickey so much he falls off the couch. Ian laughs at him.

- The trains are still down and it’s freezing cold so Ian oh so casually mentions that he lives a few blocks away. If Mickey wanted to come over. And eat some freezer pizzas with him. And maybe watch some movies. And MAYBE sleep there if the trains are still down. Y’know.

- Mickey tells him again that his fishing is TRAGIC, but he’s a cheap date. So they go to Ian’s apartment. And Ian promises to be a better date next time ❤️🌨📚

[finduilasclln]

For the sleepover post - what's your biggest wish for season 5 of 911?

With the way things are going now, the way we ended season 4, my biggest wish would be...

Eddie realizes that Ana is not the person for him. After what Carla told him, it made him think. Then the whole shooting thing... He comes to realization that it wasn't Ana he wanted to be with, wanted to see when he woke up. Ana was only ever an afterthought. It was Buck. Buck that he was worried about, Buck that he made legal guardian of his son, Buck that he wanted to spend his shitty time in medical rehabilitation with. What I want is for Eddie to realize that Buck is more than his best friend, he's developing feelings for Buck. I want him to take his time to realize that, for them to drop little hints. Maybe he talks to someone? Carla? (Because she seems to know something) Hen? Karen? Maybe Bobby? Or Michael! Surely Michael could relate.

So Eddie comes to terms with his feelings. (He has long broken up with Ana at this point, because he doesn't want to lead her on) But Buck is still dating Taylor. Cue pining Eddie. God, I want pining Eddie so badly. Eddie with the puppy eyes whenever he sees Buck with Taylor. Eddie with the smile that suddenly disappears whenever Buck mentions Taylor. Eddie with the broken heart and the longing looks, trying so hard not to let it affect his friendship with Buck, because Buck is EVERYTHING and even if he can't have him the way he would want to, he can't lose him either. Not for him, and not for Christopher.

I want this all to be CLEAR on screen. Undoubtedly. No "no homo", could be interpreted any way kind of crap. It has to be undeniable. Not just subtext.

And then... maybe things come to a head? Maybe Buck notices something in Eddie's behavior? How he gets sad at certain points? How he seems to struggle with something? Maybe Eddie gets shitfaced drunk one day and lets something slip? Maybe there's an argument and a "because I love you, you idiot!" kind of yelled confession? IT'S ALL GOOD. But either way, Buck starts to catch on. And it turns his entire world upside down. Because it makes him question everything. Is he just with Taylor because he doesn't want to be alone and Taylor was there? Maybe he knew about his feelings for Eddie all along but just stupidly figured it would never happen and stubbornly moved on? Like it was never an option for him anyway? Or maybe he wasn't so aware of his feelings but now that he knows how Eddie feels (or has an idea anyway) he can't put it out of his head? He finds that it's something that was always there. He's ALWAYS loved Eddie, in every way possible. Either way, he has to break up with Taylor because the way he feels about her (and I do believe he genuinely cares about her, he just has so much love to give) doesn't even begin to compare to how he feels about Eddie.

Either way, I want it to be a slow burn. The slowest of burns. All the built up tension and repressed feelings. All the epic obstacles and love declarations and a monumental and romantic and so long desired first kiss in the very last episode of season 5. That's what I want them to build towards in season 5. (And then season 6 can be navigating through a new relationship, the awkwardness, the wonderful moments, the longing looks while at work, etc)

That is genuinely my biggest wish for season 5. *ugly sobbing*

[jadoue1999]

An unusual couple - Chapter 6

Summary: Uncle P gets his holiday cameo. The situation isn’t ideal, but hey, at least his nephews are cute.

Previous parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, 

Chapter 6: Halloween

Living in Wanda’s world wasn’t fun. Everything he said didn’t feel like it came from him. Rather, his sentences were being passed through a filter that made it appropriate for what Wanda wanted to see on her tv show. At least the voices had stopped.

Also, Peter nearly had a heart attack when he saw himself in the mirror. He was now blond. Even without his full memories, he knew he had always had silver hair. That was a huge chunk of his identity, the silver haired speedster. He just hoped that the change wouldn’t be permanent.

After he had chased the twins, which were adorable, Wanda descended down the stairs in some weird costume with a cape and a headpiece.

The costumed twin, (Tommy?) gave his mom an amazed smile. “Whoa mom, are you old red ridding hood?”

Even in his role, he couldn’t help but laugh. She did look like red ridding hood, but Peter couldn’t figure out why she had chosen such a strange costume. Wanda had magic; she could literally have any costume she wanted.

A pull on his neck made him aware that it was his turn to talk. He couldn’t figure out what to say, so he just said what he was really thinking.

“Wow, that is so...”

“Rad!” Said the long-haired boy at his left side.

However, that wasn’t what he wanted to say. “Lame!” He completed his sentence. Peter noticed the boy agreeing with him, apparently wanting his approval. That was kind of cute of him.

��Mom, I want to be a pirate!’

‘And I want to be a ladybug!’

Peter blinked in confusion as the new memory reached him. Time seemed to slow down as it replayed in his mind. Halloween 1965, he and Wendy had asked their mother for specific costumes, mere days before the actual day. Magda had done what she could, but while what she had managed to find looked like what they wanted; it had rained the whole evening. So, they had to wear coats, but those old clothes were what had made them sick, so they were stuck in bed for the next few days. Their mom had promised to make it up to them the following year.

“Worse than the costumes mom made us the year we got typhus,” he said, without wanting to. His lines were just flying out of his mouth before he could register it.

Wanda looked confusedly at him, “that’s not exactly how I remember it.”

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma,” he shrugged, trying to cover up his mistake. Then Vision, Wanda’s weird toaster husband, slowly came down the stairs with a defeated look on his face.

Peter’s role made him make fun of the man’s costume, but he had a feeling he would have done it even if he hadn’t been controlled. Wanda and her husband had some banter to do, so he gladly went to sit next to the boys and played some video games.

The two adults started discussing about him, how Wanda hadn’t talked much about who he was or where he came from. The robot then declared that he would go do some patrol, whatever it meant. That angered Wanda though, but Vision seemed determined to test her boundaries.

‘Separate them’ insisted the damned piece of jewelry.

Peter rolled his eyes as he complied. It was ridiculous, how obsessed Agatha was with the family.

All mutants have a genetic mutation that causes their bodies to develop abilities that regular humans, homo sapiens, are unable to.

The speedster stopped in his track when the strange memory hit him. It wasn’t really a memory, more like a basic explanation of something. Something he had learned very young.

The necklace squeezed his throat when he hesitated for a moment, which pulled him out of his thoughts. Peter walked in between Wanda and Vision. “Woah, woah, woah. What’s the big dealio?” His interruption seemed to unsettle the couple, but the order wasn’t completed yet. “Big guy has a conflict, twins need a father figure for the night,” he turned to Wanda just as another snippet manifested itself.

The mutant gene found amongst the population is called the X-Gene.

“Don’t sweat it, sis. I got the old XY chromosome. Uncle P to the rescue, uh?”

Vision seemed satisfied with his proposition and headed off to wherever he had to go. Peter watched as the man left, wondering what they would do next.

‘Let’s teepee the neighbor’s house,’ he heard himself say.

‘No way, mom told us that she was tired of us getting into trouble,’ Wendy answered.

‘Come on, sis! I have superspeed and you have your wiggly woos. Mom won’t even find out!’

Peter smiled at the memory, they had eventually gone and did some mischief. Their mom had also found out and gave them a super long lecture about responsibilities that came with having mutant powers. But he and Wendy were fourteen years old and didn’t really listen, already planning their next trick.

Peter approached the long-haired twin that wanted his approval earlier. “Hey kid, want to play some tricks?”

The boy turned his head towards him with a wide grin, promptly abandoning his game. “Yeah, Uncle P!”

He noticed Wanda who had her back turned and winked at the boy, telling him to watch him. He sped behind his pretend sister, twisting his face into an ugly grin, he knew got her when she let out a blood culling scream. For a moment, he really did feel like they were twins just playing around. Like he used to do with Wendy.

Peter laughed at her scream, before he focused on the matter at hand. “Where do you keep your water balloons?”

Wanda seemed confused at his request, “What? We don’t have water balloons.” Had Pietro and her never done pranks? Then again, their life wasn’t the most ideal for mischief.

“Where are we gonna put all this shaving cream?” She narrowed his eyes at him, and his self preservation instincts kicked in. “It was Billy’s idea!”

The small twin looked at him offended, “I’m Tommy!”

Well, that was his bad. “And don’t you forget it!”

His little joke seemed to be enough for Tommy to forgive him. Wanda then protested that he didn’t have a costume, how that meant that he wasn’t ready to go out yet. Peter stared at her, he hadn’t dressed up for Halloween since forever, it was a silly thing he had done with Wendy for years and he hadn’t dared dressing up ever since she was gone. But right now, it was literally a life-or-death situation, so he knew he had to comply. He glanced at Tommy, him who hadn’t wanted to dress up was now looking expectantly at him; eager to share the day together. He took the boy’s hand and speed away in search of a costume. Wanda’s tv show requested that he dressed up, and what kind of uncle would he be if he didn’t help his nephew find a costume as well?

***

Next time: Peter and Wanda has an interrupted talk in the townsquare.

Taglist: @neptuvve @whiiiiplaaaaash @wandas-hex @edspopsicle-blog @moonbaby26 @xxspqcebunsxx @raincoffeeandfandoms @egc2002 @toodles-me-doodles @ralphbohnersworld @fluffyhales @mcu-fietro @can-of-pringles @you-said-yes @quicksilverownsmysoul @digested-human @petermaximoffstories @petermaximoffprotectionprogram @petermaximoffsupremecy @glitterfairy-21225 @fyregrl @neottia-orchids @fuesch @quickysilver @fuzzybunnysocks @katrinacastillo

[spectracully]

crash the crush.

pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k

summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?

You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.

With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.

Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.

yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd

You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.

y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle

You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.

The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.

yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle

You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 

yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀

You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.

y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car

You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 

You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.

After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.

It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?

yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight

You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-

Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 

"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.

Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.

y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead

You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.

"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 

Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.

You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.

"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.

He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.

You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.

y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK

Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.

yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME

y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK

yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK

y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW

y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun

yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!

You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.

You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?

Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.

"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.

Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.

You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,

He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”

Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 

You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”

“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!

You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”

He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”

Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.

“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-

But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.

He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”

You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.

He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.

Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.

“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”

“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.

“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”

“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,

“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.

You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.

-------

It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.

The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.

You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).

Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.

“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.

You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.

Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.

Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.

“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.

Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.

But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?

You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.

“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.

“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”

Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.

Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.

After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.

Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.

Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.

-----

It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.

You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).

You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.

“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.

Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?

You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”

“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.

3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!

He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”

-

The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.

Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.

You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.

Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?

As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.

You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.

“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.

Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.

“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.

Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.

You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.

“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.

You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?

“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”

You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.

“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.

Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.

“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.

You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.

You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.

Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.

“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.

You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.

Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)

[platypanthewriter]

Soda

This is for Harringrove April day 12, Soda!  The dude in Steve's night class is a little grouchy, and a little beautiful.

Steve locked up his photography studio, set his shoulders, and drove to the college.

He rethought all his choices as he stared around at all the children in the college classroom, and wondered for a second whether he’d wandered into a highschool.  The thought made him shudder, and he stood rooted with dread in the doorway as somebody edged past, growling under his breath.  

The dude dropped into a seat in the middle of the class, shoved the hood back on his burgundy hoodie, and looked like he was Steve’s age, so Steve headed over.  He’d just walked up when the guy squinted at the whiteboard, muttered furiously under his breath, and moved two seats closer to the front.  He had tawny curls pulled back in a messy bun, a stubbly, well-defined jaw, and crow’s feet, and Steve shifted forwards to stay next to him, breathing a sigh of relief.  He grinned as he listened to the muttering.

“Hey,” Steve said, then watched the guy bury his head in his arms, pulling the hood back over his face.  “...glad to see somebody else who isn’t twelve,” Steve tried again.

The guy snorted.  “Yeah, we’ll see how long I last,” he groaned.  “You know how sometimes when you know you’re gonna fuck up, you might as well sooner than…” he rolled his head to smirk over at Steve, and then his blue-gray eyes widened, and he trailed off, licking his lips.  Steve waited politely as he cleared his throat.  “...later?” he whispered.

“You have to stay in this class,” Steve hissed as the teacher came in, grinning.  “You’re the only one I can talk to, you won’t fuck up, come on.”  

The guy blinked slowly at him, then ducked his head, smirking again, and grabbed a tumbler off the floor and slurped at it.  “It’s soda,” he shot over, rattling the ice.  

“Okay,” Steve said, laughing, and nodding at the low sun pouring in.  “I won’t rat you out, man, I wish I had something cold right now.”

The dude laughed, and Steve jumped on his chance.

“Come back tomorrow and the next soda’s on me,” he whispered out the side of his mouth, and got back a warm grin.

 After class, the guy climbed up to sit on his desk, facing Steve with a smile like a lighthouse beam now he was awake.  He had circles under his eyes, and it looked like he didn’t have a shirt on under his hoodie, just tan skin all the way down, but Steve had had rough mornings too.  “I’m Billy,” the guy said, leaning in and cocking his head.  “You wanna go for—”

“Uh, Steve, I’m Steve,” Steve said, wincing at his own lightning wit.  “What kind of soda you want me to bring?”

“Oh,” said the guy, going still for just a second, like Steve had said something weird, and just as Steve was trying to figure out what it was, he laughed and hopped off the desk.  “Sprite or something, whatever’s fine.”

Steve jogged to catch up.  “No caffeine?”

“...doesn’t matter,” Billy sighed, walking faster, and Steve slowed down, and let him get away.

 The next day Billy had on a rainbow chainmail bracelet, and Steve grinned as he handed over two cans of sprite.  “That’s neat,” he said, pointing to it, and Billy narrowed his eyes, studying Steve’s face like he was acting suspicious as hell.  After a few seconds, Steve laughed nervously.  “I’m not gonna steal it,” he said, and Billy groaned into his arms.  

He agreed to study before class at the picnic tables outside, though, and Steve got treated to hours of his freckled face sipping his soda, and grimacing faintly, like it was a depressing surprise every time.  When Steve went to take a piss, he grabbed some root beer and some Squirt, to see if that got a better reaction, and Billy blinked, then grinned his laser beam grin.  

Didn’t look like he liked them better, though.  The next time Steve was at the grocery store, he hit the fancy aisle.  He bought elderflower soda, and ginger brew, and orange cream.  At the last minute he stuck a kombucha in his basket, just to see what face Billy would make.

It was satisfyingly revolted—betrayal, and disbelief—but Steve grabbed it back, laughing his ass off.  “Don’t drink that,” he cackled, “—I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“See if I take notes for you again, you fuck,” Billy grumbled, wiping his tongue with a napkin, but his ears and cheeks were turning pink, and Steve couldn’t stop snickering.

 As the semester went on, Billy started wearing a rainbow lanyard, and rainbow clips holding his flyaway curls, and a big ol’ sticker of a cat shitting rainbows on his soda tumbler.

“Wow, you sure like rainbows,” Steve said when the barrettes appeared, instead of his first impulse, which was to offer his ex’s little sister’s abandoned hair care collection.  It had pink plastic poodles clips.  Billy’d have looked hilarious in them, grouching about midterms and scratching his graying stubble, and Steve bit back a smile.

Billy stared at him, then grabbed his soda tumbler and drank, holding eye contact.  It was full of the lavender lemon artisan soda Steve had found on sale, and Billy spluttered, coughing.  “Where do you find this shit,” he asked, grimacing, and Steve laughed.  

“I can stop.  You just make this face when you drink soda—”

Billy’s mouth quirked, and he sighed.  “...nah, it’s...uh.  It’s...nice.”

“Don’t fall all over yourself in gratitude,” Steve told him, and Billy kicked at his legs under the table.

“It’s not like you aren’t having the time of your life feeding me this shit,” he hissed, and Steve snickered.  

 Billy started talking again about dropping out around midterms, fiddling incessantly with his soda, and losing sleep again, if the crinkly, bruised skin under his eyes was anything to go on.  “I’m gonna fail anyway,” he breathed.  “Why did I even register, I always do this, I get—”

“You’re not gonna fail,” Steve hissed, then stared at the whiteboard.  “Are you?!  You said I was getting it!  Are we both failing?!”

“No!” Billy laughed.  “No, no.”  He reached across the aisle and squeezed Steve’s shoulder.  “No, man, you’re good, you’re fine—”

“Don’t say that shit then,” Steve told him, narrowing his eyes, and Billy took a deep breath and blew out, swallowing.  “Look,” Steve said, steepling his hands—like he always had to stretch them after basketball—the way Robin always said looked like a supervillain.  “Look, okay, come over.  Before midterms.  We can get a pizza.  Stay the night.  We’ll play Super Mario and go to bed at like eight pm like we’re in first grade.”

Billy cocked his head, biting his lips together.

“I’ll make sure you study and get to sleep,” Steve said, leaning closer, and Billy laughed, kind of darkly.  “Lemme know,” Steve said, and slid the weirdest soda he’d found recently—Schooner’s Coffee Cola—over like they were making an under-the-table drug deal.

Billy looked down at it and burst into snickers, curling forward to rest his face in his arms on the desk, and then kinda sighed tiredly, and half-smiled over at Steve, and Steve wondered what he’d said wrong.

 Steve came early every day to grab their picnic table, and Billy showed up more and more, in rainbow sneakers, and after a while, a purple button-up, unbuttoned, with rainbow pinstripes.  Steve watched him wave his soda and cigarette around, and swear about the people calling tech support.  “I get my degree, they said they can promote me,” he said, sighing.

“Sounds like you deserve it,” Steve told him, with a suave double thumbs-up into finger-guns that nearly made Billy spit his soda.  

“I brought you cherry-lime,” Steve told him, waggling his eyebrows, and the bottle, and Billy groaned, holding his hand out, and Steve pulled it back.  “You can say no,” he pointed out, and Billy laughed, waggling his fingers.

“I’m weak to peer pressure,” he said, grabbing it, unscrewing it, and dumping it right in with whatever was in there while Steve looked on in horror.  He tossed back a swig, and then grunted, grimacing, and pressing his lips together, his eyes shut tight.

“Spit it out!  Spit it out!” Steve yelped, snickering.  “My feelings won’t be hurt!”  

Billy pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, and swallowed with a shudder, and Steve tried to yank the tumbler away from him, but Billy jerked it away, waving it in the air.  “Not so bad,” he gasped, lying.  “Want some?”

“Don’t do it!” Steve hissed, trying to grab it, but laughing so hard he was clumsy.  Billy finally chugged it despite Steve’s melodramatic pleas, and Steve threw an arm around him, cackling and leaning into Billy’s shoulder.  Billy had an enamel pin on his denim collar of a carton of milk that said 100% HOMO, and Steve snorted, laughing harder, yanking out his phone.  “Can I get a picture of your pin?”

Billy turned to frown at him, then frowned and patted his collar, and bit his lips together, raising his eyebrows.

“My best friend’s a lesbian,” Steve told him.  “She’d love it.”  That got him a slow blink, and then Billy nodded.  

He seemed distracted after that, and didn’t look at Steve during class.  

 “...I have a really horrible soda I was saving for after midterms,” Steve told him after class, running to catch up.  

“If it’s shitty, why’d you buy it,” Billy hissed at him, and stalked off, and Steve watched him go, squeezing his bag with the terrible-sounding dandelion-burdock soda.  

“I fucked up,” Steve told Robin, sitting in his car.  “I don’t know, he’s pissed—”

“This the guy with the 100% HOMO pin?” she asked dryly, and Steve blinked.

“Yeah, but I mean, I wasn’t a dick about it, or anything?”

“Hrm,” she said.  “I saw some of that soda.  Maybe he’s mad you poisoned him, you ever think of that?”

“I guess,” Steve sighed.  

“Maybe he’s just not into you?” she suggested, with what sounded like a grimace.  “I mean, just because he’s gay—”

“Wait, what?” Steve asked.  “No, I—I didn’t hit on him, jesus—”

“...wait, what?  What are we talking about, then?” Robin asked flatly.  “What’d you fuck up, if you weren’t asking him out?”

“...he might just stop talking to me,” Steve said, wincing.  “He stomps off a lot.”  He considered.  “Uh, I could—I could wear that bi pride shirt you got me.  See if he says anything.”

“...he might just think you love pink and purple unicorns,” Robin said, but it sounded like she was snickering, so he took it as a win, and when he got home, he puttered around through the bi stuff he’d gotten at Pride—he tied on the friendship bracelet, and relaced his shoes with the pink, blue, and purple laces, and put the belt buckle on with the speech bubble that said ‘Be Gay, Do Crimes’ like his dick was talking.  

He looked like a very pretty princess in the mirror, but a hot one, he thought, taking a couple of selfies of the way the tight unicorn shirt clung to his biceps and pecs.

 Billy didn’t show up the next day, or answer texts, though the professor said he’d emailed in.  Steve texted a picture of ginger ale, grimacing.  “I got you an antidote, I’m sorry,” he sent, but he didn’t hear anything until the day of midterms, when Billy was already slumped on his desk when Steve came in, even though he’d have had to walk the whole long way around the building to avoid their table.  

Steve settled in and tried not to nervously click his pen, or tap his foot, or squeak his shoe against the leg of his desk, but eventually Billy shot him a glare, and then just...stared.  Steve glanced over at him, cautiously, and the instructor cleared her throat.  “Eyes front!” she called, and Billy swerved his glower back to his own test, staring down at it until he shook his head, and started scribbling with a will.  He was one of the first to turn his test in, and then he stood by the door with his eyes on Steve’s pen, as Steve tried to write an essay.

 The classroom slowly emptied, and there Steve was, dressed like a unicorn princess man, and utterly failing his midterm.  His teacher glanced up from her book occasionally, and then glanced at the clock, and once, she sighed, and Billy stood there watching Steve be a moron.

He had to already know, Steve figured, rereading the question one more time, and understanding less.  Billy’d helped him with homework assignments, and notes, and seen what an idiot he was, and that was why he’d never said anything despite being 100% HOMO.  Steve bit his lips as the words ran together.

He gave up on the last question, and turned in his exam with a sinking feeling of finality.  He grabbed his bag, heard the swish of the definitely-gross soda in there, and groaned in the back of his throat.  

“Do you just fucking like unicorns,” Billy asked, falling into step with him as he left the room, and Steve was left with the announcement he’d been trying to avoid, so Billy wouldn’t have to avoid him.  “...bi...corns,” he mumbled, and Billy said “Fuck,” and grabbed his face, kissing him hard, then laughing awkwardly and gentling it.  His lips were soft and warm, and a little chapped.

He tasted like soda.  Steve ran his fingers over the rainbow hair clips, and through the curls at the back of Billy’s neck, kissing that smile finally.  Billy sighed shakily against his mouth, yanking Steve closer by his unicorn-shirted shoulders.  “Jesus, why didn’t we do this sooner,” he breathed.

“Why didn’t you,” Steve muttered, cupping Billy’s jaw and kissing him again, instead of letting him answer.  “...wearing all that Pride shit, but you never asked me out, I figured it was kinda obvious you—”

“I what,” Billy hissed, and then scowled.  “No, wait, you shithead, I waited that whole damn time, I drank like four cans of Sprite, and then I couldn’t miss you coming out—”

He’d been nervously sucking it down the whole test, and Steve thought he might have grabbed more while he waited—and sure enough, he shoved Steve away, as Steve laughed, then leaned back in for one more hard press of lips, and said “Shit, I gotta take a piss, I’ll be right back, don’t fucking move.”

The whole school was quiet in the early evening, as everyone ran home after night classes.  Steve waited.  When he heard the squeak of Billy’s sneakers echoing in the silent halls, he dug out the awful soda.

“I got this for you,” he said, as Billy ran around the corner, looking around like Steve might be gone.  “—but I wanted to ask if I could—let’s go out, somewhere,” Steve said, laughing nervously.  

“Jesus, anywhere,” Billy said, laughing as he took the soda, and Steve’s hand.  “On a date, right?  It’s a date.  For real.  This time.”  

“This time?” Steve asked, leaning in to kiss his smirk, and then again, as Billy’s eyes closed, and he made a contented noise in the back of his throat.  Steve snickered, kissing along his stubbly jaw, and then had to kiss his mouth so he’d grin again.

Neither of them wanted to stop, but finally Billy pushed him back, laughing and flushed.  “Don’t wanna get arrested for indecent exposure,” he said, smiling, and then looked down at the soda Steve had handed him.  He raised his eyebrows.  “...dandelions?  That’s a new low.”

“You really probably shouldn’t drink it,” Steve laughed, giddy at the feeling of Billy’s hand in his.  He leaned in for another kiss, feeling Billy’s root beer-flavored lips part against his, and Billy’s lips curving in a wide, irrepressible smile.  “Come on, there’s a bar around the corner.  I’ll get you something better.”

Billy stilled for just a second, and then ran alongside him, like the bar was gonna run away.  “So we’re dating now, right,” he said, and Steve laughed, grinning over.

“You expect more?  You greedy fuck, after I bought you like a shipping crate of soda.”

“You owe me for that soda,” Billy told him, laughing.

 When they reached the bar, Steve hauled him to a table.  

“What can I get you,” Steve asked him.  “Not soda, not if it’s running my debt up.”

Billy’s fingers whitened on his soda tumbler, and he licked his lips.  “...don’t think you’re gonna wanna pay?”

“Come on, it’s a date,” Steve told him, laughing, and Billy echoed it, softly, glancing at the menu above the bar.

“...I am bad against peer pressure,” he said, swallowing.  

“No pressure,” Steve said quickly, “—just it’s a date, I’ll treat you—”

“Wonder how bad I fucked up the test,” Billy said, laughing.  “Where’s today going.”

“What?” Steve asked, feeling like the conversation was getting away from him.

“...double whiskey,” Billy said, with a crooked grin, dropping into his chair.  “Go big or go home, right?”

“I didn’t…” Steve paused, thinking of the way Billy’s hand always reached for the tumbler, but he always looked startled and kind pissed off by what was in it.  Peer pressure, he thought, grimacing, and remembered how Billy had been excited about a date, but stalled out when Steve suggested a bar.  “No, no, I didn’t—they’ve, um, they’ve got...mocktails.  Billy.  I just—you don’t like soda, maybe—um, iced coffee, or—”

Billy stared at him, his hands tightening further as his shoulders hunched.  “Shit,” he whispered.

“You don’t have to drink,” Steve told him, pretty sure his guess was right, and wondering how badly he’d fucked up, this time.  “Fuck, I’m sorry, this place was just—close, we can go, uh, what—what if—dinner?!”

“You just—you fucking figured out I’m a fucking alcoholic, and you want dinner?” Billy growled, rubbing his face and groaning.

“I should have asked you where you wanted to go,” Steve admitted, grimacing.  “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—make you, uh, make you tell me...anything.  D’you still want a date?!”

“Yeah, I fucking want a date,” Billy snarled back, and Steve laughed with relief, dragging him back outside by the hand, and leaning in to kiss him around his bared teeth.  

“...let’s get you something that’s not soda, though,” Steve whispered against his lips, laughing.  

“Fuck, you seriously don’t care?” Billy asked, pulling away to stare into his face.  “...I’m a mess.  I’m working at a fucking call center.  I kept my commuter mug full of whiskey.  I had my last drink the morning we met.”  Steve listened, running his fingers up the back of Billy’s neck, and into his warm curls, as Billy’s explanation of why they shouldn’t date started to turn into why they should.  

“I agreed with my little sister to taper it off last year,” Billy told him, watching his face.  “I did, I swear.  Started drinking less.  It was less,” he said again, like he thought Steve might not believe him.  “I was just having one now and then when somebody was around to stop me before I went too far.  I’m not—shouldn’t go in bars and order doubles, I just thought—I—” he laughed shakily, and Steve leaned his face in close enough to kiss, but not so close he was cutting Billy off if he had more to say.

Billy leaned into the kiss with a soft whine, and as Steve kept kissing him, he started smiling, and let Steve drag him for bubble tea.  He liked it better than soda, Steve was pretty sure, from the look on his face, but they agreed the boba wouldn’t fit through the mouth of the cup.

“Gotta start buying you different drinks,” Steve told him, stroking his chin, and Billy burst out laughing.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered, leaning his head on his arm, and grinning up at Steve.  “Anything but that.”

The other Harringrove April prompts I’ve done

[yikesharringrove]

Forced To Confront Feelings: Steve and Billy are enemies with benefits, and in true angst fashion Steve’s touch-starved need to connect to someone ends up on Billy but he doesn’t dare say a word of it. Once he does, he knows Billy will leave and not come back. It comes to a head when Steve is majorly ill one day but is still forced to take the kids to the pool, as Billy picked up an earlier shift. (1/2)

(2/2) He’s in a bad mood and Steve doesn’t wanna make it worse so he does what he’s asked (told), but the heat of the day and his exhausted body meet head to head, and he passes out and falls in the pool. Billy’s gonna have to face up to what he’s been desperately trying to squash when he rescues Steve and sees he’s hit his head and isn’t breathing.

-

There’s some smut mentions, but nothing outright

Read on Ao3

-

Billy rolled off of Steve, left him panting and tired, laying in his own cum and sweat.

Billy patted him once on the thigh, getting up to get dressed, to leave.

That’s how it always went. Billy fucked him good and hard, and then left before Steve could even say goodbye.

At it was fine.

It was.

They weren’t together, weren’t even friends, really.

Steve was just being a baby, just being needy and clingy, everything Nancy always said was so bothersome, Steve.

He watched Billy get dressed, biting his tongue every time he wanted to ask Billy to stay, to spend the night and hold him.

But Billy was already stomping down the stairs.

So Steve rolled over and tried to imagine strong arms around his waist.

-

He could feel the illness coming for days before it actually hit.

His throat was sore every morning, and his cough was dry, made him hack for days.

He was curled up in bed, had a heating pad on his aching stomach, the trash can close to his bed just in case.

He absolutely fucking longed to have someone there, to have Billy there, bringing him hot soup and pressing a cool wash cloth to his head.

He was running a mild fever when the kids showed up, begged him to bring them to the pool.

He rolled his carcass out of bed, shoving himself into the first swim trunks he could find, the only shirt he saw.

Dustin raised one eyebrow at him when he tromped downstairs, but he didn’t care, just drove the little shits to the pool.

It was fucking hot today, and Steve felt fucking delirious sitting in the heat.

He was in the bathroom, his head pressed against one of the lockers, the cool metal.

“You’re on my locker, dipshit.” He stood up slowly, blinking at Billy.

“Sorry, Bill.” Billy furrowed his brows.

“You look like shit.” Steve smiled wearily at him.

“You gonna take care a’ me?”

“Fuck no, Harrington. Fuckin’, get outta here.” He shoved Steve aside, made him stumble a little.

Steve pouted, still leaned against the lockers.

Billy just shook his head, started changing into his lifeguard uniform. Steve jsut watched him.

Billy looked up at him slowly.

“Harrington, get out. Fuckin’ perv.” Billy shoved him again, made him slam into the lockers. His head spun.

He stumbled out of the locker room, the sun beaming into his eyes, making him dizzy.

He closed his eye, squatting down where he stood, pressing the heels of each hand into his eye sockets.

He took some deep breaths, trying to get the world to stop spinning. When he thought it was safe, he stood back up.

His vision went dark.

Billy was just stepping out of the locker room, unlit cigarette in his mouth when he saw Harrington stand up.

It was almost comical, the way his body just went down, like someone had cut the strings off a marionette.

But then Steve wasn’t surfacing, had sunk right to the bottom.

Billy scrambled to blow his whistle, throwing caution to the wind and sprinting forward, diving into the water.

He grabbed Steve around the middle, swimming up with him.

Billy’s blood was rushing in his ears.

Freddy was there, helped Billy pull Steve out of the pool.

Steve was just laying there.

And then Billy noticed the blood.

A gash on the side of Steve’s head was bleeding, the blood mixing with water, made it look like there was so much.

He tugged off his wet shirt, pressing it to the wound, staunching the blood as best as he could.

And then Billy checked over him.

And Steve wasn’t breathing.

Billy yelled for someone to call an ambulance, vague heard Heather yell back through the blood rushing in his ears.

He tilted Steve’s head back.

Okay, okay. You can do this. Chest compressions. Just like in training.

He tried to be methodical, tried not to think about how it was Steve under his hands.

He breathed into his mouth.

Steve’s lips were chapped, already fucking cold.

He started compressions again.

A crowd had gathered now, Steve’s kids all front row, all of them had a hand on the curly one, he was crying, his hands shaking.

Billy kept pushing on his chest, counting each compression.

One of Steve’s ribs gave way with a crack. The crowd around them gasped.

Billy gave him another few breaths.

He couldn’t think about their last interaction, how he had pushed Steve away. Couldn’t think about the last time he was at Steve’s house, the way Steve had looked at him, so soft and pretty and asked you wanna stay? We can go again. And Billy had laughed at him, called him a pussy.

He gave him more breaths.

And Steve coughed, spluttering.

Billy rolled him onto his side.

He was coughing, water coming out of his mouth.

Billy patted him on the back as everyone fucking clapped. Billy ground his jaw.

Steve was taking shaky breaths now.

The paramedics had arrived, pushing through the pool gates.

They got Steve onto a gurney.

“I, uh, I think I broke a rib during compressions.” Billy was following behind them, Steve’s kids following him like little ducklings.

“That’s okay. Better a broken rib and a breathing person.”

“He just passed out. I think he’s sick.” The loaded Steve up in the ambulance.

His eyes were wide, he looked panicked, staring at Billy, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Can I come with him?” One of the paramedics just nodded, Billy leapt into the ambulance, held Steve’s hand on the way to the hospital.

“You don’t have to stay.” They were in the E.R., waiting for a doctor to come back with the scans of Steve’s chest. They had already stitched up his head.

“Got nothin’ else to do.”

“You just, you don’t gotta take care a’ me.”

Billy dropped his head into his hands.

“Shoudn’ta said all that.”

“It’s fine, Billy. We’re not friends. You don’t owe me shit.”

“Honestly, I think I owe you an apology.” Steve shrugged. “Been treatin’ you like shit for a while now.”

“Look, I had no illusions about what we are to each other.” Billy sat back in his chair, glaring at Steve.

“That’s a lie.”

“No, it’s not. I knew we were nothing more than two people who fuck sometimes.”

“Maybe, but you wanted more.” And Steve’s cheeks went bright fucking red. “I could fucking see it. Just, the way you fuckin’ look at me, man. It was terrifying.” Steve ground his jaw.

“Terrifying?”

“You’re in love with me. Don’t know when, or why, frankly, but you are. And those fuckin’ big eyes a’ yours pretty much show every emotion you feel. So we’re fucking, and I pull outta you, and you give me this look, like you’ve never been happier, like you’re so in love, and Stevie I can’t take that shit.”

Steve’s mouth was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll stop then?” He spoke slowly.

“No, I- shit, I’m not sayin’ any of this right.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I was so scared because I’m not allowed to love you back.”

“But you do?” Steve was still talking all slow. Billy looked at his shoes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Oh my God, you big baby. You’re allowed to have feelings and emotions.”

“Not in my house.” Steve just stared at him. Billy sighed. “My dad would, would fuckin’ kill me if he found out. And I’m not just being dramatic. He doesn’t take nice to queers.”

“Who says he has to know?” Billy huffed a laugh.

“He always knows. Has ways of findin’ out all sorts a’ shit.”

“We’ve made it this far without him knowing.”

“Yeah, ‘cause he thought I was out fuckin’ every girl in town. He’d rather have a slut for a son than a homo.”

“Tell him you’ve got a girlfriend, then.”

“He’ll wanna meet her.”

“Then get some girl to cover for you. Get Heather or Robin or someone.” Billy chewed on his bottom lip.

“You think one of them would do it?”

“Oh yeah. I mean, Robin hates you on principle, which, sorry about that, but she’d probably do it if you change your ways or something.”

“Yeah? What’s that entail.”

“Don’t give me shit to complain about. She’s my go to when I would be all mopey about you, so if I start bein’ all excited about you, she’d notice.”

“What if she just hates me?”

“Nah. You two would get along great. Her favorite pass time is making fun of me.”

“Okay, but that’s the main pass time of everyone that’s ever met you.

“Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me now? Now that we’re all in love.” He grinned as Billy flushed.

“Never gonna be nice to you if you rub that shit in my face.”

“Oh please. You broke my fucking rib trying to save my life. Don’t act like you don’t love me.”

“You never thanked me for that shit.”

“Figured I would thank you when I got out of the hospital.” He smiled all coy, biting his bottom lip just a little.

“What you got in mind?”

“Remember like, three weeks ago, when you asked for that thing, and I said over my dead body? Well since I was almost a dead body, figured you could have this one.” Billy’s eyes went wide.

“You’re really gonna let me? Fuck you in you dad’s office?” Billy had stumbled into the room accidentally, kept saying please, Harrington? Just lemme take you on this fuckin’ desk.

“Oh, yeah.”

“That what I get for bein’ your boyfriend, or whatever?” Steve looked down at the thin blanket covering his legs.

“Depends. Are you my boyfriend?

“You want me to be?” Steve nodded, still looking at his lap. “Then, sure. I am.”

And when Steve smiled at him, it was bright as the fucking sun.

[mystiika]

re; wesley

h i s t o r y

   meet adrastos wesley sharpe ! so to start, he was born as adrastos zika but his legal name in present day is adrastos wesley sharpe, going exclusively by wes or wesley so no one really knows his first name aside from doctors or the bank. he’s from an ancient race of people that we would call high humans but for him, all he knows is that there’s something different about him. there was no way of knowing if his family was the same as him, but as his life went on, it seemed more & more like it was pure chance he’d ended up the way he did. regardless, he’s been alone since he can remember. whether or not he was given up willingly or if something happened, he really has no idea who his parents were. but for the most part, it never bothered him. he did well enough. he was smart & charming & could talk his way into or out of almost anything. hailing from greece, he grew up as a sort of apprentice to the blacksmith in his village. he was good at it too. he had a talent for the craft & could create designs & small sculptures that his senior was happy to sell along with the usual catalogue of tools. he liked it too, quite a bit actually. but around 17 he decided he wanted to travel, see the world that lay beyond the horizon. so he did. 

   adrastos became a merchant trader at that point. their ships had mainly been contained to be within the mediterranean, traveling from coast to coast. & eventually they decided to branch out further than their usual trading route. they made their way across the mediterranean, heading through the middle east to a port town in kuwait. it was there that they chartered a large cargo ship that then carried along the coast of the arabian sea, hitting more port towns along the way.

   then, they landed in a place they’d picked at random. but in that growing city, his life changed forever — or rather, to forever. he jumped down from the ship & in the midst of taking his bearings he locked eyes with a stranger, a beautiful one at that. for a moment they were both frozen ( at least for adrastos ), he was mystified. it was love at first sight. he managed to break his thoughts long enough to offer a smile, small but genuine & she offered one of her own in return.

   it was a few days before they’d meet again. & while the language barrier made it difficult, it was clear she’d fallen for him just as quickly. they made it work. his troupe stayed at that town for a few weeks, but at the end of the stay, adrastos couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet. so he left his old life & stayed with her, beginning to build a new life for himself with her — myra.

   it’s been a long time since that day, & they’ve spent a lot of lives together. but even if he has to go through the pain of losing her, it’s still that much more time he’s able to spend with her, loving her.

   present day he finds himself as a chef & owns his own restaurant. it’s a nice place with great staff & he’s happy. well, as happy as can be while he waits for myra to show up in his life again. he’s got so much to tell her.

i n f l u e n c e s

   very loosely inspired by hancock ( 2008 ) but largely is the result of original lore we’ve come up up with on our own. some influence from generic soulmate tropes but nothing too concrete.

l o g i s t i c s  /  l o r e

   figured i’d make this its own section lol. they met in ancient times, thousands of years ago. fated soulmates with a twist. one of them is close to immortal & the other is the same species but is fated to die. in their case, wes is the former & myra the latter.

   as such, wes has to watch myra die over & over again, the universe drawing them together where they live happily for a few decades, a few centuries, until myra dies & reincarnates, always with the same face.

   they lived the first 20 years of their lives completely normally. maybe they didn’t catch a cold as often as some of their peers or that they were marginally faster/stronger but it was never anything that stood out. it wasn’t until they met that something changed. it was almost as if their genetic code was somehow unlocked.

   the two of them belong to a race of beings myself & sofia have thought up & what we’re calling high humans. historically, this race of beings have existed since the beginning of humanity, living among the ancient humans, helping them move along through time. being more advanced than the regular humans, they acted as a sort of guide, assisting them in advancing their technology & techniques to help them through life. almost guiding them through evolution if you will.

   so, the human race has evolved to be what we know as homo sapiens, there was still cross species breeding between homo sapiens, neanderthals, denisovans & other unknown species sub archaic sub-species of human. & just like this successful cross species breeding, the high humans began to intermingle with them. as a result, the genetic code of high humans began getting covered by other species & became recessive. whether or not that gene will become the dominant is random, but it’s fate that ties the two as soulmates.

   now, what exactly does it mean to be a high human. they look the same, talk the same, act the same as any other human. but their abilities & their senses are strengthened & enhanced. they’re faster, stronger, healthier etc. they heal faster than regular humans, & sickness doesn’t affect them the same way if at all. their bodies are quite simply, built different. aging is also affected.

   growing up wes & myra aged normally & blended in normally. as far as they knew, they were normal. then they met in their early 20s & things sort of started to change. then after they met, their enhanced abilities only grew stronger & after a few years, it seemed like they stopped aging. technically, they did age, but it was a long time before they realised because of how slow the process became. the reality was they they had no idea what was going on, or why it was happening really. everyone in their lives were still unaffected. it was so sudden for them & they sort of had to go with it & figure it out as they went along. there was no blueprint to follow, no people to ask for help. still, they had each other & eventually they adjusted to the new normal.

   for a century they lived like this. & then myra dies for the first time. wes was mourning of course, he’d lost his first & only love, his soulmate. but part of him assumed that he would go back to how he was before they’d met & that he’d become ‘normal’ again. but it didn’t take long for him to realise that now that his new abilities/aging process was awakened, he was stuck with it. he also realised that after a while, he wasn’t aging at all anymore. but now he was living on his own & didn't really know how to process any of it. for all he knew, he was now stuck with this existence, forever & without myra.

   then after some time, myra reincarnated & they met again. they’d been drawn together by the universe just like they had when they were young. myra had no memories of her previous life but after they met, she went back to the same enhanced state as when they met the first time. which meant that wes had to explain, what was happening & their past together. he had to teach her how to adjust to this new life of hers. but the cycle just sort of repeats.

   myra ages normally until they meet ( matching wes’ visual age ), then her aging slows down drastically. but on his end, he starts aging again but matches myra’s speed. basically, his life is in a standstill in time until they meet again & he only ages when he’s with her. present day she’s in her mid 30s & visually he looks to be about the same age.

[elderling-magic]

“Fool’s Errand”: Question Time

1. What were your favourite moments?

All of them! Every single page. But I will try to write just some here that hit different.

Chade’s visit;

Fitz unknowingly skilling to both Dutiful and Nettle and them dreaming of him;

Fitz comforting Hap and being pleased at him wanting to find work by himself;

Jinna reading Fitz’s palm;

The amazing reunion of my favourite trio and the entire time in the cottage!!!

FENNEL!!!

Fitz trying to convince Laurel that Nighteyes is a dog and she not buying it;

Fitz calling Beloved a creature of sun and sky and being surprised Laurel picked Lord Golden over him right after that thought (wake up, you homo!)

When Beloved admits he is actually tired of the charade and misses Fitz;

First dinner at the Bresingas where Fitz looks hot af and LG charms everyone;

When Fitz finds LG and Laurel together and tries to convince himself he isn’t jealous;

When LG flirts with Sydell and licks Civil’s hand!!! Plus Fitz’s reactions to the entire thing;

Nighteyes’ stopping Fitz from torturing the piebald and Beloved thanking him and touching Fitz’s face to make sure he is still there;

Fitz encountering Dutiful and admiting he is his son and looks exactly like him;

Dutiful telling about his first love and how Fitz and Beloved react;

Fool and Nighteyes staying behind so Fitz could escape with the prince and them protecting each other against the Piebalds the best they could;

The dream and Nighteyes’ death ;___; the knot in my throat is such a nice feeling (is not);

Dutiful trying to figure out who Fitz really is (Chade and Lady Thyme’s son, of course!) and getting Fitz and Beloved as his first real friends;

Fitz and Beloved being glad to find each other in bed and that the other didn’t spend the night with a woman because no homo;

Fool once again admiting he loves Fitz and Fitz hurting him by going to see Hap (Jinna) and not realizing Fool is being serious, actually.

2. Favourite quotes?

“Your one true love is stitched in and out through your life. Love will return to you. Don’t doubt that.”

“I didn’t lose any wild pigs. Did you?”

“You can be the dead fish. I’ll be the old stick.”

“It doesn’t matter who a man’s father is. Your parents made a child, but it’s up to you to make the man you’ll be.”

“He didn’t tell me to be careful, but it was in his look.”

“The past is no further away than the last breath you took.”

“I opened my mouth, then helplessly spread wide my arms. At the gesture that said all I had no words for, an answering look lit his face. He glowed as if a light had been kindled in him. He did not dismount but flung himself from his horse towards me, a launch aided by Nighteyes’ sudden charge from the woods towards him.”

“What does who call me when?”

“We are whole.”

“And what do you believe?” A slow smile spread over his face. “I believe in you. You are my new beginning.” (no homo)

“Well, if you cannot call me Beloved, then I suppose you should continue to call me Fool. For I am ever the Fool to your Fitz.”

“Care to dance?” “We already do.”

“In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horse’s back, and the soul of the world within my own walls.”

“Death is always less painful and easier than life! You speak true. And yet we do not, day to day, choose death. Because ultimately, death is not the opposite of life, but the opposite of choice. Death is what you get when there are no choices left to make.”

“Silence can ask all the questions, where the tongue is prone to ask only the wrong one.”

“All cats talk however they want. To whomever they want. But only a rude human speaks out of turn. Be quiet.”

“Little Brother, do not treat me as if I am already dead, or dying. If you see me that way, then I would rather truly be dead. You steal the now of my life away, when you constantly fear that tomorrow will bring my death. Your fears clutch cold at me and snatch all my pleasure in the day's warmth from me.”

“You’ve made me look like an idiot. That wasn’t hard.”

“He looked like a creature of sun and sky.” (no homo)

“Nothing finer than we two has dined in these halls before.”

“Oh, please, beloved. You needn’t be jealous. It was the most brief and chaste kiss you can imagine.”

“Go on without me. The hunt belongs to the swift and keen. ShallI go on without my eyes and nose, then? And without your brain too, alas. Be on your way, little brother, and save your flattery for someone who might believe it.”

“‘Did he say anything while you were bandaging him?’ Lord Golden considered. Then a smile broke through his façade. ‘Ouch?’ the Fool offered.”

“‘I think the Prince might be in danger,’ I admitted. ‘You’re only now concluding that?’“

“He wore my face.”

“‘I’ll see them against the firelight in time to take action.’ ‘What action?’ I shrugged. ‘If there’s a few, we fight. If there’s many, we run.’ ‘Complex strategy. Chade taught you well.’

“’Alone?’ The Fool looked puzzled. A very odd smile twisted his mouth. ‘But he will not be alone. I will be here with him. And,’ he drew himself up, squaring his shoulders, ‘I will die before I allow them to kill him.’ Ah, that would be so much better.”

“I could have driven cattle through the gap in his logic.”

“Wait for you? Not likely. I've always had to run ahead of you and show you the way.” (cue me crying)

“Fitz. You know I love you, don’t you?”

3. Did the reread change your opinion of the book? In what way?

No. This is still one of my absolute favourite books in the series. I did notice a few more things this time though, like how Fitz says “I had been content” at the start of the book, which mirrors the end of this trilogy and means that the AQ ending was only as happy as the FF one (not much). Also, some friends made me notice how wrongly Fitz was treating Dutiful and harming him by pushing him around and such. Yeah, Fitz doesn’t shine that bright here with that and the torture... I also noticed that hunter at the Bresingas was totally interested in Laurel. Oh, I also don’t think this is the happiest Fitz book anymore. But it does have a very good balance between dramatic and comedic moments that I love. Oh, and Fitz had the hots for Laudwine and I only noticed it now. Thank you for reading.

[reggierightsactivism]

4, 18, 22!

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I like both these parts from Like A Tough Guy Would: 

Sometimes, though, he starts talking again even before he’s aware that it’s happening.

“Hey Munroe,” he starts, catching a rogue black olive and piling it on a stray piece of sausage so he can eat both together. “Now are we even?”

“Hm?”

“You know…” Reggie glances over, sucking some salt and grease off his fingers. You know how I was a dick to you and never really apologized, probably never really intend to either (at least not in so many words), but then you kept quiet for me, and I bought you food at Pop’s and gave you a ride home, and you let me stay the weekend, and I helped you do yard work, and you gave me football tips, and I ordered us all pizza… “Like, in general.”

Munroe shrugs, which is not the answer Reggie was hoping for, but also one that doesn’t surprise him.

“I haven’t been keeping score,” he says. “But I’m good if you’re good.”

“Yeah,” says Reggie with a slow nod. “I’m good.”

& 

“NYU? Right,” laughs Marty derisively. “So you can major in Philosophy and Tap Dance? Or-- Lindy, what was that music class you said they had?”

“Music Therapy.”

”Music Therapy.”

“They’ve got a good--”

“Why don’t you just save us the tuition money and drop out of school now? Go down to the Southside and get fitted for a Serpents jacket so you can spend the rest of your life slinging sugar and blowing homos in parking lots to get your next fix. When did you become such a damn sissy, Reggie?”

Reggie says nothing, wrinkling his nose as his dad shakes his head and shovels more food into his mouth.

“And then answer me this, who’s going to run the dealership after I retire, huh? Maybe I should hire that Munroe kid, since clearly he gives a damn. Does that sound good to you?”

Reggie glowers silently, prodding at his food.

“Well? Does it?” Marty whacks the back of Reggie’s head with his palm. “I’m talking to you.”

“Ow-- no!”

God, he hates it here. The amount of times he’s seriously considered getting into his car and just driving until he gets to New York City is not insignificant.

“You know, when I was your age I had these dreams of moving out west and surfing all along the coast,” Marty goes on. “I didn’t have what you have, Reggie. Your problem is that you have it too good-- I didn’t go west, I invested in my future and built that damn dealership from scratch, you hear me? From the ground up. And do you think your grandfather just stroked my hair and gave me handouts? Hell no. This?”

He gestures around the dining room, but what he means is bigger than just this room; what he means is ‘the dealership, this house, this life.’

“This is all thanks to me and your mother.”

Reggie can’t stand this lecture no matter how many times he hears it. His parents are both assimilated to hell and back, especially his dad, but that never stops them from digging their heels into a good lesson on bootstraps whenever they think Reggie isn’t falling into line fast enough to their liking-- like it isn’t enough he’s already basically resigned himself to a lifetime of selling cars for the family business instead of figuring out his future for himself.

Not that he really knows what he’d do instead, though. Reggie has always told himself, and anyone else who would listen, that he is not going to peak in high school, but all the same he hasn’t given much thought to what his life could or should be like after graduation. He always figured college would help clear that up for him, because growing up in Riverdale makes it hard sometimes to imagine ever actually leaving, or growing out of whatever identity high school creates for you.

Who is Reggie Mantle without football, without Riverdale High, without his reputation in this town and the comfort of his family’s money? He doesn’t really know. If he takes over the family business, he doesn’t ever really need to.

“I don’t need an MBA just to sell some old cars,” he mutters, although he knows he won’t change their minds.

“He thinks he doesn’t need business skills to run a business, Lindy,” Marty quips. “A kid whose only A’s have been in gym class since he was in middle school.”

“Reggie, while you’re grounded I expect you to catch up on your music lessons,” Melinda says, looking at him sharply from across the table. “At least an hour per day. Honestly, when is the last time you’ve even touched your violin?”

“Mom, everyone plays violin! Do you know how basic that’s gonna look on my transcripts?” Reggie has to bite back a more inflammatory version of that comment, but then continues with: “I’d rather play guitar.”

“Everybody plays guitar,” Marty says dismissively, sipping his beer. Melinda makes a hum of agreement. Reggie can only imagine she’s thinking something like, ’Fred Andrews played guitar, and now he’s dead. What do you have to say about that, Reggie?’

Death would probably be preferable to this conversation, but Reggie soldiers on.

“Archie said he’d show me how. He could give me lessons,” Reggie says slowly, chewing a mouthful of noodles. “He has this bass he doesn’t use that I could--”

Neither of his parents are listening anymore. Reggie stops talking and just eats in increasingly sullen silence.

“Oh, some good news,” says Marty after about ten more minutes, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “I talked to my insurance this afternoon, convinced them to cover at least a third of the repair cost. Maybe more. The guy I tore into on the phone said his higher ups wouldn’t be in until tomorrow.”

He looks at Reggie, who just flinches and nods.

“We’ll stick to half your allowance and every other weekend at the lot. After school I want you focused on improving your football game.”

“Yes sir.” Reggie resists the urge to roll his eyes. Like he doesn’t want to be doing his best out there? Please.

“Great.” Marty looks satisfied. “Good talk.”

Because 1) I just like working in things that canon should have digged into and finding a way to explore them, or even examine their lack of exploration, in an in-character way that helps paint a better picture of the characters and their dynamics. And 2) I weirdly enjoy fleshing out the Mantle family. 

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Yes and no...! I feel like I don’t diverge on my characterization very often, except in whatever minor ways are necessary to serve the differing plots of my stories (e.g. what ship I’m writing, what the character(s) do or don’t still need to work through, etc.) (though I did once receive a very lovely comment about how much my writing had improved between one fic and another), although I definitely have a lot of plot lines I’ve gone in very different directions from what I’d first intended. 

WRT Riverdale specifically I just haven’t written enough yet, I think, to have a lot of abandoned ideas of things I’ve actually published in some form, but in the case of When The Morning Comes I’ve already got a lot of competing ideas of how to do certain things, as well as discarded plans. I guess one thing I “abandoned” was a Joaqevin horror fic idea that involved Joaquin being brought back to life, but it’s only abandoned in so much as I decided to just fold it into this fic. 

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Sometimes... I get so nervous about this because I’m so easily embarrassed by my old writing, I’m always afraid I’ll look back and notice how poorly written it is or how I went on and on about something that doesn’t actually fit the story. Which is why before I wrote Everybody’s Lonely I went back and edited out portions of Lightning in a Bottle 😭

✍🏽Ask me meta fic questions ✍🏽

[crystal-moon-101]

Name: Valerie Jay Grayson - ‘Owlet’

Nickname: Val, Little V, Mini Grayson, Grayson Girl, Bird Girl, Magic Bird, Flying Grayson, Valer, Vale, Baby Owl

Age: 13

Gender: Female

Birthday: April 4

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Ethnicity/Species: Romanian/Romani/Caucasian ‘British’/Italian/Irish - Homo Magi/Human  

Personality: Hyper, Fun Loving, Adorable, Resourceful, Loyal, Sassy, Impulsive, Emphatic, Eager, Clever, Understanding, Humorous, Hardworking, Lovable, Protective, Generous, Youthful, High-spirited, Alert, Stubborn, Somewhat Childish, Mostly Secretive

Hobbies: Animals, Training, Acrobatics, Learning Magic/Magic Tricks, Making sure everyone around her is happy (Or decent at least), Singing/Music (Knows guitar and piano from her father, but learnt saxophone at school for fun.)

Future Aspirations: She’s not exactly sure where the hero business will lead her, for now being fine remaining as Nightwing’s partner. However, she does wish to become a performer in her civilian identity, whether through her talent with music or acrobats, maybe even both. She also has this strange, but strong, desire to learn more about the Homo Magi race, her Grandmother and their homeworld.

Family:

Dick Grayson - (Father/Mentor - Very much a daddy’s girl, she exhibits many of his traits and qualities. She has been her father’s partner in crime since she was ten, roaming Bludhaven and training under Nightwing. She is very thankful that her father also treats her with respect, hardly ever hiding secrets that could affect her. She does what she can to impress him, looking up to him since she was little.)

Zatanna Zatara - (Mother - While she is a daddy’s girl, she will always love her mother. She learnt many of her spells and magical tricks from her, and will often confide in her mother whenever she has outbursts in powers or they react dangerously. She’ll often appear in Zatanna’s shows as her little assistant)

Bruno - (Pet Dog ‘Husky’ - Big fluffy guardian her father adopted behind Zatanna’s back. Bruno will almost always be by Valerie’s side when she’s around and is always a teddy she can cuddle with when she is unhappy.)

Maya - (Pet Cat ‘Mixed’ - A cat Uncle Damian gifted the family when Valerie was young. She was the pet that taught Valerie how to be patient and respect animals at a young age, as Maya was a shy kitten and now slightly vulnerable in her old age.)

Crumpet - (Pet Hedgehog - Her prickly little bean, that is all.)

Jason Todd - (Adopted Uncle-In-Law - Being the one to help deliver Valerie at birth after some...mishaps, her middle name is in honour to him. She has given him the ‘Fun Uncle’ title and she can get away with a lot of things around him. He did have a habit of giving her his version of the ‘Birds and Bees’ talk here and there as a young child, which angered Dick to no ends.)

Koriand’r - (Adopted Aunt-In-Law - Fun loving Aunt who adores any niece and nephew, Valerie being no exception. Kori will happily take Val flying, as the girl has a need for heights like her father.)

Miro Todd - (Adopted Cousin - Being one of the only other Bat Members to join the new Young Justice team, Valerie spends a lot of time with Miro and works well with him in battle, always supporting him in fights. Outside of that, she’ll always be up to hang out with him and Molly)

Molly Todd  - (Adopted ‘Cousin’ - Despite being Kori’s niece and not child between her and Jason, Valerie will always openly see Molly as true family. Before Blair, Molly was the only other girl on the team and other only Bat Member too, so the pair would have plenty of sleepovers that they knew the guys couldn’t handle.)

Blair Wilson - (Adopted Cousin - Despite being the granddaughter of Deathstroke, Valerie was quick to accept Blair in the team, understanding she never had a choice who her family was. Valerie was the one who taught Blair how to have a normal life, showing her things normal teenagers would enjoy. When it was revealed that Blair was Jason’s child, Val ended up caring for her even more, as this meant they were family. She vows to keep Blair out of Deathstroke’s hands if it’s the last thing she does.)

Tim Drake - (Adopted Uncle-In-Law - While Valerie can come off a little too much for someone like Tim to handle along, the pair do enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes it’s nice for Val to have someone calm to talk to.)

Stephanie Brown - (Adopted Aunt-In-Law - One of Valerie’s key babysitters in life. Steph never shy away from showing love to her family and Valerie will show it back always.)

Jett Drake - (Adopted Cousin - Jett is a hard case for her. He’s often anti-social and didn’t know how to handle her when she was much younger, thus is has been a little off-put by her since. Valerie understands this now and has grown strong people skills, so she doesn’t resent him for it. She is willing to take things slow for him.)

Everleigh Drake - (Adopted Cousin - Valerie will always volunteer to babysit her youngest cousin, watching the hell out of Disney movies with her forever.)

Damian Wayne - (Adopted Uncle-In-Law - Adore Damian, even if does the whole ‘I’m gonna act tough and neutral half of the time’ around her, like with Dick. But Damian has never said no to babysitting her or training her, has even displayed moments of protectiveness around her.)

Raven - (Adopted Aunt-In-Law - While most of her magical problems are worked around with her mother, Valerie has had many talks with Aunt Raven about dark magic, which does not work well with Homo Magis. She’s even had privates talks about it without her parents’ knowledge, as Raven promises to never reveal these secrets.)

Aaron Wayne - (Adopted Cousin - Part of a magical team with Caroline, Valerie spends a lot of time with Aaron. Both being magical Bat members and opposites, they just click. They know how to talk to one another and treat each other. Valerie never pushes Aaron into things he’s uncomfortable with, along with giving him social advice, while he will always be willing to listen to her rants or fears, along with being the blunt one her can snap her out of stress.)

Cassandra Cain - (Adopted Aunt - Valerie never treats Cass differently, despite how she can come across. Always openly hugging, talking and playing with her, even if Cass doesn’t talk back, mostly just smiling and going along with it.)

Katherine Kane - (Aunt Figure - Intense Auntie Kane is intense, but really cool. Valerie always has fun watching Kate kicking ass, while cheering her on from the sides.)

Renee Montoya - (Aunt Figure - The pair mostly come across each other through police work, whether it’s because of her father’s job or Owlet talking to police. Renee can respect the girl and what she pushing for, as can Valerie appreciate the work she pushes towards.)

Samual Kane - (Cousin Figure - An intense cousin who matches his mother. Valerie knows how to hold him back or argue back without losing her cool, and while he doesn’t say it, he can appreciate that from her.)

Barbara Gordon - (Aunt Figure - The sassy Aunt that never fails to make her laugh. She sometimes goes to Babs for specific advice that can be had to ask.)

Hugo Gordan - (Cousin Figure - With Hugo being very shy and nervous, Valerie is always willing to take things slow with him or speak for him.)

Bruce Wayne - (Adopted Grandfather - Grandbats loves to spoil all his grandkids. Valerie will often tease him, but she adores him. Though when Bruce watches her, it often reminds him of fond memories of when Dick was younger, so he knows how to handle parts of her personality and habits.)

Diana Prince - (Grandmother Figure - Adores Diana with a passion. Said Princess will always be willing to protect and teach her grandchild figure, often helping her understand her raw magical potential that she can struggle with.)

Alexsis Trevor - (Cousin Figure - Despite how off putting Alexis can act, Val isn’t afraid to joke with her or sass her back. She understands that Alex still needs time to understand the outside world.)

Giovanni Zatara - (Grandfather - At a young age, Valerie didn’t quite understand that Zatara and Dr.Fate were different entities, sometimes even thinking her Grandfather didn’t want to spend time with them. But as she came to understand the truth, she does her best to cherish the one hour each year they get to talk with her parents. However, it does hurt that she can’t get to know him better and how much her mother cries over it.)

Sindella - (Grandmother *Deceased* - She’s only heard stories of her Grandmother, the last pure royal Homo Magi. She’s always been meaning to find out more about her (along with the Homo Magi race) through her own means.)

John Grayson - (Grandfather *Deceased* - She will always be amazed when listening about stories from her father about her grandparents, wishing she could have met them.)

Mary Grayson - (Grandmother *Deceased* - She will always be amazed when listening about stories from her father about her grandparents, wishing she could have met them.)

William Cobb - (Great-Great-Grandfather - Her father never lied to her and was very open about the story they had with the Court Of Owls, preparing Valerie in case they would ever come after her. It is unknown wether the Court want her or not, but she has come into contact with her Great-Great-Grandfather, but he didn’t say much before vanishing.)

Weakness/Flaws/Fears: Unable to cast most spells if she can not speak. She is still young and learning, along with having a body not fully developed. Strength, and often defence, isn’t her biggest trait. Much like her father, she struggles to deal with her own negative emotions, which can also badly affect her magic. Dark Magic can linger, sometimes hurting her, whenever she must use it. Her kindness and forgiving nature can be used against her. Puts herself in danger to protect others way too often. Feels the need to take care of everyone, sometimes forgetting basic health care. Powerful magical seals. Taking away her utility belt and ‘toys’, will hinder her. Known to have dangerous magical outbursts and mishaps. Because of her acrobatic skills, taking out her legs, sometimes arms, can limit her movement. Allergic to certain types of flowers. Atychiphobia (Fear of failure, mostly towards other people). Thanatophobia (Fear of death. There have just been moments where she nearly lost someone, and in this line of business, she knows one day it’ll come true). Coulrophobia (Fear of clowns. And this was before she even met the Joker).

Extra:

Infinite Utility Belt - Valerie just seems to have way too many items that should not be able to fit into her utility belt. Weapons, tools, snacks, accessories, first aid, chalk, toys, stapler, fishing rod, you name it. No one is sure if she used a magical charm on it and she won’t tell.

Owls! - From a young age, owls have been her favourite animals. Her main plushie is an owl, she dreams of having an owl pet and her hero identity reflects an owl. Of course, the irony being her blood connection to the Court Of Owls has been noted, mostly through her father who did once try to sway her interest, only to fail.

Representing Song: Am I Wrong - Nico and Vinz

Friends:

Caroline Constantine - (Best Friend/Magic Member - Caroline hangs out with Aaron and Valerie in their magical squad. Both met at a young age when John needed someone to babysit Caroline, leaving her with the Graysons. The two have since then been very close, Valerie always willing to listen and give her advice, whether social or magical. Val is also very determined to ship her with Aaron, as they two clearly like each other!)

Adax Hyde - (Friend/Teammate - Being the timidest member, Valerie never pushes him and knows how to draw tension away from him. She understands his deep issues about his placement in life, as she can sometimes relate.)

Apollo West - (Friend/Teammate - With Wally and Dick’s close friendship, there were plenty of times where the family would hang out and Valerie and Apollo would spend time together. They often treat each other likes siblings at times, annoying one another, pranking each other and will always tease the other relentlessly. But they do have their sweet moments and know how to cheer each other up.)

Otto Kent - (Friend/Teammate - Valerie can respect Otto leadership in the team, but she will take command if he can not. It’s easy for the two to get into debates on how to tackle a mission, hearing each other out and working well together.)

Wally West  - (GodFather - Her other main babysitter, she loves Wally like he is family. That doesn’t stop her from teasing him or pulling a prank on the man.)

Artemis Crock - (GodMother - Artemis was one of the only ones who could keep both Apollo and Valerie in line when they are in the same room, their relationship very much reminding her of younger Dick and Wally. So, Valerie respect the woman, but loves her like family.

Most Superheroes/Justice League members

Enemies:

Deathstroke

Court Of Owls

Most Gotham/Bludhaven Villains

N/A

Skills:

Magic (Mostly through casting backwards spells. But she’s been learning ones that don’t require speech.) Multilingualism-(Romanian/English/Japanese/Spanish/Russian/Arabic/German/Korean/Cantonese/Mandarin/ASL/Some Latin). Advance Hand-to-Hand Combat/Martial Arts. Acrobatics. Computer Hacking. Acting. Driving (Mostly with motorbikes, but she does know how to drive a car, just can be a little chaotic with her age). Leadership (Not perfect, as she is still young. But she knows how to take charge when she is needed.) Basic Mechanics. Supernatural Agility/Speed/Reflexes/Stamina/Accuracy. High Intelligence/Willpower. Stealth. Tracking. Weaponry. Marksmanship. Decent Swordsmanship. Empathy (Can be through the use of magic, but mostly because of her Grayson side). Flexible. Medical Knowledge. Her gloves have clawed tips.

[hoshi-kawaii]

The Adventures of Demisexual Katsuki Yuuri

Yuuri grew up idolizing Viktor’s skating, talent, and beauty. His obsession with the champion skater gets him teased all through middle school. Between that and ballet, kids are calling him a homo. He denies it, but gets hard for the first time when he’s 15 years old looking at a photo spread of Viktor on some skating website.

His first crush was on Yuuko but he never felt the force to act on it. She started dating Takeshi in high school. When they were third years she and Takeshi got into a fight and break up momentarily. Yuuko goes to Yuuri for comfort. She’s so vulnerable and he’s so sweet and she ends up kissing him. It was only a spur of the moment kiss and nothing more, but Yuuri is surprised by how wrong it feels. Eventually Yuuko and Takeshi make up. Yuuri and Yuuko are able to laugh off their little kiss.

At age 18 he moves to the US to train and go to college. The friends he makes in the Detroit Skate Club are very outgoing and drag him to party after party. Yuuri enjoys drinking and dancing but can’t handle the people so well. Many men and women try to get close to him to take him home but he always turns and runs. It doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t get how his friends leave with someone every weekend.

He finally meets someone nice who doesn’t look at him like he’s a meal. They just chat and hang out with no pressure or invaded personal space. He confesses to Yuuri that he likes him and Yuuri doesn’t know how he feels but it’s not bad. They start “dating,” but it’s not right either. Yuuri wants to take things slow. To get to know each other. But two months later he’s dumped without an explanation. After class one day he overhears a conversation. His ex is telling his friends that he dumped Yuuri because he wouldn’t so much as kiss him. He thought if he invested time in Yuuri he could get him into bed.

The following year he debuts in the senior division and makes it to the grand prix qualifiers. Critics claim to be disappointed in his performance. They expected something different for his senior debut, but his skating hasn’t “matured”. There’s no spice, no allure, no sensuality. Nothing to make people want him.

Yuuri is shaken. He hides out in the bathroom before the start of the competition, staying out of the spotlight and away from the comments about his sexuality. Chris finds him in there and tries to comfort him. It takes several minutes to get Yuuri to admit what is bothering him. He says he feels different than everyone around him. Why didn’t he care about sex the way others do? The closest thing to attraction he’s ever felt was for his idol, someone he’s never even spoken to.

Chris tells Yuuri that sexuality is a spectrum and sexual attraction can vary. He feels different, and he probably is, but that’s okay. Lots of other people are too, their voices just aren’t as loud. He focuses on the asexuality spectrum and introduces Yuuri to AVEN.

Yuuri doesn’t make it to the GPF that year, but he learns a lot about himself.

He returns to school and recounts the whole thing to his new roommate and fellow skater Phichit. The thai boy is nothing but supportive. They look over the ace spectrum together and Yuuri decides the label that fits best is demisexual. Sexual attraction after the development of a strong emotional connection. He still feels a little embarrassed that the strong emotional connection is with a man so famous he doesn’t even know Yuuri exists.

Now it’s years later and not only does Viktor know Yuuri exists, he’s showing up out of nowhere and offering to be his coach. Viktor is a flirt and Yuuri is hopelessly smitten. But somehow Yuuri can hardly stand being touched by the other man?? On some level he’s intimidated: little virgin practically asexual katsuki yuuri attempting to satisfy the number one most desired man in the world of figure skating? Yeah right.

Viktor is confused at first but after a few attempts agrees to take things slow. They both start to understand more of how the works. Yuuri begins to enjoy Viktor’s casual touches. He falls in love with the warmth of his hands and the curves of his body as they simply hold each other. After a few months when they finally kiss, Yuuri’s heart feels lighter than air-- But that’s not all.

Slowly Yuuri can feel his walls cracking. With each step-- each kiss-- he finds himself wanting more of Viktor. He suddenly understands desire. With this he begins to figure out how to make others feel desire too. He knows just want to do to make Viktor want him. Poor Viktor is teased mercilessly.

On one slow and intimate night Yuuri’s desire overflows.

He finally gets it.

Sex feels great.

But if he ever had to do it with someone other than Viktor it would be... impossible. No one is what Viktor is to him. No one could step in so easily and take his place. Sex was a beautiful (and sometimes dirty) gift for them to share.

Yuuri loves Viktor deeply in a way that only he can-- devoted mind, body, and soul.

It is because of this he is able to love and accept himself too.

[anarcoqueer1994]

Why Do I Feel Like This? Chapter 4

Really important: This is an old work of mine that I am posting bc the tag is dying. But also, this has a lot of homophobic language. I can post the other chapter if people are interested too. This was a tough chapter to write. I went to a conservative middle school in 2008 and kids were always nice to the trans non binary gay kid

"Freak."

"Homo."

"Pansy."

"Faggot."

These words were hanging in the air around them. TJ and Cyrus were in Cyrus' bedroom, laying on the floor side by side, with their fingers intertwined, refusing to let go as if their lives depended on it. Sadly with how TJ was feeling now, Cyrus was pretty sure his life did depend on it. Cyrus turns his head so he can look at TJ. His eyes lingered on a bruise that was forming around the other boy's eye. It broke his heart. He let his eyes slip down to his own arm, looking at the hand shaped bruise. It left a dull throb down his arm.

The blond's cheek was streaked with silent tears. His face was tense and broken. He looked like he could shatter into a million pieces at any moment. Cyrus knew the feeling. He was barely keeping it together himself. Between the hurt he felt for what kids did to him today, and the intense anger he felt towards those who hurt TJ, he was about to lose his mind. How could this be happening?

Today had started so positively. TJ was practically glowing on the way to school. Yesterday night, he gained so many friends in Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty. He was genuinely excited about having more friends at school and not feeling so lonely. Cyrus remembers smiling as he listened to the older boy gush as they walked together. He remembers wanting to hold his hand as they walked, but didn't because they weren't out to the public. Looking back he wished he did, because maybe it would of given his boyfriend more strength for what would come next.

This morning, they walked through the big double doors leading into the school hallway. Immediately everyone went silent. Hundreds of eyeballs bore into them as they walked down the hallway towards their lockers. Their lockers this year were right next to each other. People parted down the hallway to let them through. Cyrus heard some snickering and whispers when they passed.

"What's going on?" The shorter boy asked quietly.

"I'm not sure..." TJ admits apprehensively.

That's when they see it. Out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus sees his friends rushing up to stop them from seeing but it is too late. Taped to both of their lockers were blown up pictures of them kissing. It was from the park last night. It shows TJ standing up, leaning down to kiss Cyrus as he sat on the swing. Any other time, Cyrus would of loved that picture. TJ looked so beautiful in it, but right now it was breaking his heart. Someone outed them. They took away their right to come out on their own terms.

Then both boys noticed something else. Written on the bottom of the pictures in big red ugly lettering was the word 'FAGGOTS.' Cyrus forgot how to move. He stood frozen as everyone stared at them. He could hear whispers filled with ugly words. He could hear TJ's heavy breathing next to him. He did not know if his boyfriend was about to cry or lash out at everyone there.He wanted so badly to reach over and take his hand but knew that would make everything worse.

That's when he heard Buffy's voice cut through the crowd. "What are you guys all looking at?! Get out of here, now!" Cyrus saw his friends push forward to stand with them. Buffy threw her arm around TJ's shoulder while Andi squeezed Cyrus' hand. Kids began to disperse at Buffy's threatening voice but a few lingered.

"Get out of here!" Jonah called out.

Yeah, leave now. Get to class or something." Marty shouted.

With that, the group was left alone in the hallway. Both boys knew this was not the end of their problems, but it helped for now. Cyrus whispered "Thank..thank you..." Jonah and Marty went up to the lockers and ripped down the offending pictures. They were quiet for a moment. Maybe even longer. Time was moving in slow motion. It was like they all had something to say but did not want to be the one to say it.

Jonah finally broke the silence. He said "Can we go somewhere and talk...there is more you guys should know." Cyrus saw TJ's face get even tenser. He did not think it was possible. The bell rang but none of kids seemed to care. TJ gives a small nod to Jonah's previous question.

They walked down the hallway and found an empty classroom. Given the situation, they were pretty sure their teachers would understand them missing some class. Marty was the last one in the classroom, so he shut the door behind him and locks it.

Andi takes a deep breathe and then pulls out her phone. She opens up a text and hands the phone to Cyrus. TJ is standing near Cyrus looking over the phone. There is a video attachment. Andi says quietly "Hit play, Cy..." He does as she says and watches the video that makes him feel 100X worse.

It is a clip from the park. It is a crappy cell phone video. It shows the whole kiss...it shows them staring at each other like idiots and then them talking afterwards. They looked like love struck puppies. Luckily the person who taped this was too far away to record their conversation. But it is still way worse than the picture. You can hear the two voices in the background belonging to whoever recorded this. From the looks of it, they were hiding behind some tree. One voice is obvious, it was Kira. But someone was talking to her. TJ's heart dropped even further. The other voice belonged to Reed.

This hurt him even more. Back when Reed was his friend, he didn't actually come out to him but he was pretty sure he knew about his crush on Cyrus. Reed seemed supportive, even playfully flirting with Cyrus the day of the gun incident. Reed and Lester used to listen to TJ ramble on about Cyrus. They knew he liked going to the swings to talk to the smaller boy. That explains why Kira knew she could probably find him there with Cyrus. Reed must of told her. He couldn't believe Reed would seep as low as outing them.

As the clip came to an end, both boys looked dumbfounded. TJ could feel his friends' sympathetic stares directed and him and his boyfriend. Buffy is almost whispering as she says "I think it was sent out to the entire student body."

Cyrus kind of figured that. He cannot imagine how this situation could get any worse. He was expecting TJ to run away and isolate himself from them, from him. But what he actually does, breaks his heart more.

TJ whimpers softly like he could barely talk. 'Can...can you guys give me and Cyrus a moment...please..." The other kids nod and leave without a fuss. Their faces all look worried, nevertheless.

Cyrus braces himself for TJ to break it off, to tell him that he never wants to talk to again, to tell him this was all a mistake, but he does not. He looks to the ground as he stands facing Cyrus. He takes a sharp, pained breath. "You don't have to stay with me...this is all my fault. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."

Cyrus did not expect that. The surprise causes him to let out a dry laugh. How could TJ ever think Cyrus would leave him over this. "You can be so oblivious, you know that? You mean more to me than any of those people. TJ I lo..I mean you are so important to me.I just can't imagine being without you." He realized he almost slipped up and dropped the "L" word, but stopped. He thought it would not be the right time. He did not want to freak the older boy out more

TJ weakly reaches out for Cyrus' hand. It was almost surreal to see TJ look so defeated. This was not the confident, goofy, jock Cyrus knew. Cyrus was so sad looking at him. He grabbed TJ's outstretched hand. Cyrus didn't know what hurt him more, what those kids did to him, or what they did to TJ. Actually he knew the answer to that question. TJ's hurt will always matter more to him, for better or for worse.

They stay quiet for a long time before Cyrus' voice cracked through the air. "We have to get to class, Teej..." TJ silently nods in response but doesn't attempt to move. Cyrus decides he will stay there as long as TJ needs him to.

Cyrus would if been terrified if skipping class before this. He wouldn't want to face Metcalf's lecture about the importance of making the most of your time at school. Or even worse, detention. But none of that matters to him right now. The events of today took away his ability to care.

He glanced momentarily at the door to make sure his friends locked it behind them. This room has no windows as it is a basement classroom. With reassurance that the door was secure, he pulled TJ close to him, moving to wrap his arms around him and hold him close, threatening to never let go.

The blond does all he can not to just collapse in Cyrus' arms. He felt exhausted. Today was not supposed to be like this. This was not how he pictured finally coming out. He keeps picturing that ugly word written in red. It was like living a nightmare. Was that all he was?

He rest his head on Cyrus' shoulder, trying to pull himself back together before they had to face the other students. He took a shaky breath before whispering into the shorter boys ear "I'm ready…"

"You sure?"

"Yea…Are you?" He whispers, trying to make himself believe he was truly ready.

“Honestly that depends….” Cyrus says in an unsure voice.. His voice gets lower, almost sounding shameful. “I can handle being out there, as long as you don’t shut yourself away from me. I hate what those people said and did, but what scares me the most is the thought of losing you...”

When those words roll off his tongue, TJ’s grip around Cyrus gets tighter. “I could never do that, Underdog...not anymore. Every part of my life is touched by you. You are under my skin, you know? “ Those were the most confident words TJ has said since they got to school. Cyrus could not help but believe they are true.

Cyrus pulls away and gives TJ a small beautiful smile. “Okay...let’s go.”

With that, both boys head out and go to their separate classes.

 

************************

School dragged on. They both missed most of first period already so they waited for second period. TJ had English and Cyrus had math. They were on opposite ends of the school so they couldn't even walk together to class.

When they separated, Cyrus tried to hurry to math class, to avoid listening to people in the halls. Some gave sad, sympathetic smiles. He knew they meant well but wouldn't actually do anything. Then of course, there were the mean whispers.

"Freak."

"I should have known, honestly...he was always such a girl."

"I have to sit next to that homo in science. I hope he doesn't infect me like he did TJ."

He tried to ignore everything, trying to focus on how TJ could always make him smile. He tried to focus on their date this past weekend. TJ was always his happy thoughts. He didn't look at anyone, just passed by with his head down.

None of his friends were in the same math class, Buffy had gotten moved to honors, and Andi was later in the day. So he could not even get a reprieve when he got to class.

You know who was in his class though? Reed. He was dreading walking through that door. Up until now, Reed had ignored him since the gun incident. He knew he would not be that lucky today

As if on cue, Reed, Lester, and a few other boys from 2nd period math were waiting outside the classroom. Coleman was not in class yet, so Cyrus had no teacher to protect him.

"Hey Cy…" Reed sneers.

Cyrus remains quiet, trying to pass the group to get into the classroom.

Reed grabs his arm hard enough to bruise, stopping him in his tracks. It really hurt and Cyrus winces in pain. "I was talking to you. I knew you were a fag...but dumb too?"

Cyrus stays quiet as the boy releases him and pushes him back slightly. It causes Cyrus to stumble and fall on the ground. The boys surround him.

"You are going to regret ever turning TJ into one of you guys…"

Cyrus gets a burst of courage when he brings up TJ. He may not be able to defend himself well, but he would do anything for his boyfriend. "That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You can't turn someone gay. Trust me TJ was "one of us" way before me."

Reed looks pissed when Cyrus talks back to him. But Cyrus doesn't stop. Though his arm hurts and now his back from falling, he smirks. He doesn't know what came over him. "In fact, I thought you may be "one of us" by the way you were acting when we went dirt biking. You were flirting with me the moment I walked up. But it is not me you are into is it? You wanted another boy that was there. You wanted to make him jealous, didn't you?"

"Shut. Up. Goodman." He said in an irritated tone. His eyes are dark from anger. The other kids stare in confusion.

"Or what? You are going to hurt me again. Do it. I don't care. You know why? Because I have TJ and you never will." When the words leave his mouth, he feels a sharp kick to his stomach.

"I said shut up, faggot." Reed and his group walk into class leaving Cyrus laying on the floor, holding his stomach where Reed's shoe just made contact. He manages to stand up and walk into class before Coleman gets there. The last thing he wants is more attention drawn to him by getting a teacher involved.

As he sits in the back row, in a little corner, he smiles to himself. His body hurt like hell and he knew he would have a bruise on his stomach to match the one forming on his arm. But he stood up to Reed. He actually said out loud "I have TJ." It really hit him, TJ is his. He did not know what he did to deserve something so wonderful

**********

The rest of the day passed slowly. People would make nasty remarks whenever either of them were in the hallway. But no one came up directly to TJ like Reed did to Cyrus during the school day. Even Kira just gave satisfied grins when he saw her. She was satisfied with her work and did not feel the need to add to it. She could tell by his defeated face, that she had done enough.

Lunch was a good reprieve, as Cyrus and TJ were together, and they were surrounded by their friends. It was a little easier to ignore the other students. But today overall was mentally wearing them down. Ignoring the stares and the laughs was overwhelming. Cyrus keeps the Reed incident to himself. He knew TJ would lose his temper and Cyrus does not want TJ to get in trouble.

In the afternoon, classes were just as bad. In art class, which TJ and Cyrus have together, everyone focused all their attention on them. They sat together, like usual, but today everyone became hyper aware of it. In the past, they would exchange little cute notes to pass the time. They could not do that today without someone noticing though and making it a big deal. It was like they were like freaks on display.

Throughout the day, their friends really tried to help. They would shoot back nasty looks or tell off whoever was being a jerk. But it just wasn’t enough. The worst part wasn’t even the kids making the shitty comments.No, the worst part was that so many more kids weren’t saying anything at all. It was not just that they weren’t calling them names or being a bully. It was that they were just letting it happen. They were being indifferent in the face of 2 boys being taunted just because they were going out with each other. These kids were not being homophobic directly, but by ignoring the problem, they let it get worse.

**************************

When school finally let out, TJ could not just go home. He had basketball practice, and for once he was not looking forward to it. Cyrus had always came to his practice. He would sit and watch them play(mostly TJ) and then they would walk home together. A bunch of the player’s girlfriends would be there too but until today, no one thought anything of Cyrus being there.

Cyrus met TJ at his locker before the taller boy went to practice. They tried to block out the few lingering glares around them. Cyrus whispers “Hey TJ….do you want me to come today? I...I don’t want to embarrass you more and I understand if you don’t want me there...I can just wait for you somewhere else...or I mean if you even want me to wait…” Cyrus was rambling and blushing more and more the longer he talked.

TJ does not know why Cyrus always makes him want to be brave but he does. He stops Cyrus mid-ramble. “Of course I want you to come, Underdog…” He adds “I don’t care what these people think.” That last part was kind of a lie but TJ wanted to believe himself.

Cyrus simply nodded as he watched the basketball player close his locker. He follows his boyfriend down the hallway towards the gym. They get there before the rest of the team so TJ goes to the locker room and changes before anyone else gets there. Cyrus takes a seat on the bleachers and settles in to wait.

When the rest of the team arrives and is ready, they begin practice. The other basketball players’ girlfriends all sit away from Cyrus. But whatever separation and isolation Cyrus may feel, it is nothing like on the court. The other players won’t pass TJ the ball during drills, and they keep knocking in to him on purpose. They try to make it look like an accident because their coach is watching but Cyrus knows better. The team doesn’t seem to be treating them like their captain anymore.But everytime Cyrus makes eye contact with TJ, TJ puts on a big smile just for him. He knows TJ does not want him to worry.

When practice finally ends, things get worse in the locker room. TJ rushes to the locker room first. TJ tries to hurry out of as soon as possible but things don’t work out. He is standing at his locker trying to change. He already is back into his jeans and is working on getting his t-shirt back on. The other players enter the room. A tall boy, Brady, immediately starts talking to TJ. “Hey Kippen, I think you are in the wrong locker room. The girls locker room is that way.” He points towards the door.

“Very funny…” TJ responds dryly as he pulls his shirt over his head and begins packing up his stuff.

“I’m serious, Kippen. I don’t think I want you in here, and neither does anyone else. We don’t need a homo in here checking us out.”

“Trust me, I’m not interested.” TJ tries to remain calm.

“I don’t think you understand, we don’t want you on the team anymore.” He steps closer and shoves TJ as hard in the chest.

“I don’t think you understand. I’m the best player you have. Without me, you aren’t going to win another game.” TJ replies, stepping back close to him. The boys stand almost nose to nose.

“I would much rather lose, then have you and your faggy ass boyfriend gaying up the place.”

A wave of rage swept over TJ. How dare he bring Cyrus into this. Without a second thought, TJ punches Brady right on the chin, knocking him to the floor. TJ grabs his backpack and goes to leave. He stops at the door and says “Oh Brady? I wouldn’t tell coach about this, wouldn’t want anyone else to know you got beat up by a faggot.”

TJ storms out of the locker room, while trying to compose himself. He walks into the gym and looks up at Cyrus on the bleachers. “Cy let’s get out of here...now”

**********************

The boys walk home together. Tj didn’t want to tell Cyrus what happened, but when those big brown eyes looked up at him and asked what happened in the locker room, TJ could not lie. He told him everything. TJ seemed shaken up about it, mostly because he had worked so hard to not be angry anymore, and now it seemed like everything he worked at had been erased.

TJ looked so sad, and Cyrus couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He no longer was afraid to hold TJ’s hand in public, people knew so what did it matter? So while TJ was talking, mainly beating himself up, Cyrus reached out and intertwined his fingers with TJ’s. It made TJ’s cheeks go red as he tried not show how much Cyrus could still get his nerves all tingly. Cyrus, once again made all his troubles melt away.

Since TJ was honest with Cyrus, Cyrus decides to be honest with TJ. He tells him what happened with Reed. He shows him the little bruises on his arm. TJ looks like he could kill Reed right now. But Cyrus asks him to let it be and then tell TJ about how he stood up to him. TJ smiles at the last part when Cyrus says that he has TJ.

“Is that true, Underdog? You really want me to be yours?”

“Yea…” Cyrus blushes. “We are dating after all.”

“Yea I know that, I just have never heard you say that. I think...I think I like being yours.”

Cyrus shoots TJ a big smile. “Well I like that you are mine. I also like being yours too.”

TJ looks at the younger boy and really takes in every detail. Cyrus Goodman has done it again. He has made TJ forget about how bad today felt. He says “Hey wanna go to The Spoon?”

“Are you sure? A lot of kids from school will be there.”

‘Yea I know, let them talk. I can block them out when I am with you.”

“Okay then, I’m down to get some babytaters. “

“Cool, I have to run home and grab my cash and drop off my gym bag. Get us a table?”

“Yeah of course…”

*****************’

TJ walks into the door and the house is eerily quiet. Amber is at work, and so was his mom. But his dad should be home.He looks around the house just to check in. It wasn’t until he got to his room that he found him. He was sitting at TJ’s desk. He smelled strongly of whiskey and was holding a picture of TJ and Cyrus from TJ’s drawer.”

“Hey..hey dad, what you doing?”

“Is this the boy?” His dad asks as he waves the picture around.

“What...what are you talking about?” he stutters.

“Don’t play dumb with me, boy. The school called. They said that kids were giving you problems today over some kiss with a boy. Is this the boy?”

‘Yes, sir.” TJ looks down. He really wishes his big sister was there. Amber knew how to handle their dad when he was drunk and angry. She always protected him.

“I don’t ever want you to see him again. And you will not live that disgusting...lifestyle in this house.” His dad’s words are slurred as he stands up and steps closer to the boy. His dad could be pretty intimidating. He stood at 6’4 and had the build to match. TJ wonders if his dad knows that Amber is definitely not straight either.

TJ takes a deep breath before defyingly looking straight into his dad’s eyes.”No.”

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said no, dad. I will not stop seeing Cyrus and now that I was pushed out of the closet, I will not go back in. You or anyone else cannot make me!”

“You will not talk to me like that in my house!” He says grabbing TJ by the shirt collar and practically throwing him against the dresser behind him. That’s when the drunken hits and punches start landing against his body. “I’m the adult here, if you are going to act like a freak, I’m at least going to show you how to take a punch like a man.”

When the older man is done, he leaves TJ slumped against his dresser and closes the door. TJ knows he cannot possibly leave now. He does not have the heart to tell Cyrus what happened. He is sore all over. He knows he will have bruises and marks all down his chest and face. But he doesn’t hurt. He just feels numb. Like nothing at all matters. Like he doesn’t matter. Maybe he was a freak...he doesn’t even know.

He stays on the floor leaning against that dresser for hours. He hears both his mom and sister come home. Then he hears fighting and doors slamming. Amber knocks on his door, but he ignores her. There is only one person he wants to see right now but he thinks he messed that up too.

He never made it to The Spoon and couldn’t bring himself to answer Cyrus’ calls.

*********************

Cyrus had waited for TJ for 2 hours before finally going home. He does not know why TJ ditched him or why he was not answering his calls. He sadly walked home alone.

When he got to his dad’s house, he found all four of his parents waiting in the living room. They all heard what happened at school. They all ended up being so supportive. They were angry that someone took away his right to come out on his own terms.Cyrus was truly lucky in his home situation. They had a huge dinner and even told him he could invite TJ. Unfortunately TJ was not answering his calls. After dinner, his mom and step dad went home and Cyrus went to his room to do some homework and get ready for bed.

At around 11:30, Cyrus was laying bed. He could not get TJ out of his head. He was worried about his boyfriend. He was also angry. TJ said he wouldn’t leave him. Now he was worried that he changed his mind. The pressure from the kids at school was too much for him. A small ting sound broke him away from his thoughts. Someone was knocking lightly on his window.

He turned on a small lamp by his bed. He walked over to the window and slid it open. The figure that was knocking crawls through the window in into the room. When the light hit his face, Cyrus saw it was TJ. He also saw the big bruise forming around his eye and cheek. His heart dropped looking at the older boy. TJ looked like he was about to break. The blond says “I’m sorry I stood you up today….”

“Teej, its okay. What happened to you?” He whispers, scrunching his eyebrows together. He can’t believe someone would do this to him. He didn’t know why TJ was apologizing to him for missing some baby tators when obviously something horrendous happened to him.

“My..my dad. The school called him...I told him I would never breakup with you...and I think...I think he was trying to beat the gay out or something...I don’t know...I just...it just hurts….everything hurts. My body, the way everyone treated me...treated you. What did I do to deserve this? Maybe it’s karma or something for who I used to be…Cyrus, I don’t know if I can take this. I’m not strong enough. I just feel like I want to end everything.” He lets out a sob before the flood wall burst open. The last line slipped out. He didn’t really think he wanted to just kill himself, but it definitely crossed his mind. For the first time today, he let himself just cry. Cyrus pulls him into his arms and pets his hair.

“You didn’t do anything to deserve this. Not everyone is as cool and accepting….and people like to hurt and breakdown those people who are different, who they don’t understand. TJ, you have the most beautiful heart, and there is this light in you that makes me better just from being around you. Please don’t let them take that light from you. Your dad? He is a mean bigoted, jerk. You deserve so much better. Teej, I need you so please don’t hurt yourself, okay? I love you…”

He wasn’t expecting to say that now, but it's what he felt. They have only been dating a month, but he knew he loved TJ back before they confessed. He knew that’s how he felt when TJ looked him in the eyes and said “You’re the only person I can talk to like this.”

Cyrus feels the wet tears soak through his shirt as TJ cries into his shoulder. He hears a mumble, almost too quiet to make out. TJ has whimpered“I love you too Cy….”

They stayed in each other’s embrace for a long time before it hurt to keep crying. That's how they ended up with their fingers intertwined, laying on the ground. Cyrus had pulled TJ to the ground so they could lay together and just take comfort in each other’s presence. Cyrus wasn’t sure how well that was working, as he got more and more upset the longer he stared at the bruises peppering his not-so-scary basketball guy’s skin.

He was not sure how, but he needed to fix all of this for TJ.