#shes a variant human rogue

[deva-arts]

nate being the only doctor makes me wonder what he's had to do for the others before

Nate does a lot for the crew. (Also woo look at his human disguise!)

When he's not actively treating or checking on them, he's constantly working to compare studies and test data to understand how to treat his friends, seeing as they have widely different genetic makeups and could react in ways that are *catastrophically* unexpected.

He can't use human rules when working on them, which greatly complicates things when he's educated in treating humans. Sera and Vince naturally have nucleated blood cells for greater oxygen input since they're always in rigorous activity, but this is a sign of leukemia or other major deficiency in humans. How do drugs interact with their bodies? what reaction will their immune systems have? do they have an intolerance to certain chemical developments?

This is partly why Vincent underwent so much testing and experimentation- to catalogue and document an atlas for the reproduction and understanding of this hybrid Variant species, and how every facet of its anatomy works in that respect. Like a rough draft you don't care about messing up, and use only to learn from.

Sorry Vince.

It's a wonder how Nathaniel was able to successfully recompile enough information to save his friends at all. It's a lot of stress on one guy with no nurses! That goes without saying for Amon (who is a beastshifter) Sonia... (Who is a living chemical synthesis lab) The various other people who end up joining... (Who shall remain incognito)

...Yikes.

He has likely seen all of them naked at least once, due to emergencies. He's extremely professional, so it's like it never happened... But it's still never fun to have to use that kind of ER protocol on your injured friends and associates.

Everyone except for Vincent, since V never lets Nathaniel treat him for anything, even when he needs it.

Instead, everyone caught a harrowing and unwanted glimpse of Vincent when he landed back home after streaking in the rain. He now flies with his pants duct-taped on. And goggles. For the glare and the overwhelming surplus of bugs he slams into at twice the speed of a f1 car.

[kalach-cha]

forgot to mention this but i played some of the best d&d of my LIFE yesterday, and one of the other players actually complimented my acting/improv skills afterwards 🥹

[i-suc-at-art]

DpxDc prompt #2

Full prompt from this idea

Tim and Danny are apart of an online RPG which is basically DND but anonymous and online. (it’s mainly for secret nerds who don’t have anyone irl to play with)

Danny plays as a changeling rogue who will often swipe things from players they don’t like

Tim plays a Variant Human, monk who wields a pole staff (my guy is not subtle) and will often give back the things danny (who’s known as wraith) (Tim goes by Scarlet Redpoll (mainly just Scarlet though)) stole

Rules of the RPG:

Everyone remains under their game handle (so there’s no doxing) NO REAL NAMES

You can interact with other parties who are using the same campaign as you, however when interacting with main story plot your party will go into its own private server

You can have a party of any size however it’s recommended to have a party over 4.. However you can make it with two or three or solo (but that’s just kinda sad..)

There is a chat feature and call feature in the game, however no hate speech, or bigotry

You can’t join a call unless your apart of the party

ofc this doesn’t stop it from happening but that’s not really relevant to the story

There are Dms (dungeon masters) but your team can also just use the computer for your Dm

Your character can be completely customized, and you’ll move around on a map

Ok now to the fun stuff

Danny and Tim (Wraith and Scarlet) have been playing together for about 3 months, and have made a commitment to play every 2 weeks on sunday (ghosts tend to take a break every 2 weeks on sundays (and B forced Tim to take a break from everything including cases every 2 weeks on sunday) Although sometimes each will get pulled away from the game and they’ll have to end early.

Anyways their campaign doesn’t super matter, only that they are online friends. Ok so one day Tim texts Wraith (they use online name bc y'know tim’s like uber famous) that he can’t make it to their session today bc his dad is forcing him to “bond” Aka he’s going to a gala with Bruce and Dick to stop a heist team that has been rampant across socialite and high society events. Wraith tells him it’s alright, and that coincidentally he’s busy too and was just about to cancel.

As Tim surveils everyone he curses Bruce for making him come. Tim had gotten into the habit of getting a night off from everything. He’d also not gotten a chance to do ample research on the guests beforehand because he’d been working on researching the thieves. He’d heard some chatter about the group looking into a possible haunted vahz, that was on display for the night. Tim had been surveying the party staying near the vahz making sure everyone checked out. Dick had texted saying that he’d cornered a possible thieving candidate and that he needed Tim to run an face ID check, on the picture he’d taken. The photo was of a young woman, her red hair caused Tim to think of Babs, but the woman’s simple teal evening dress couldn’t be further from her style. He’d done a quick search of the woman, she seemed to be some sort of rich young socialite, definitely Dicks type.. Her name was Kelly Jankins, no criminal history, or past arrests, she had a couple of parking tickets that were waved from her late teens. But nothing out of the ordinary. Tim texted Dick the information (save for the part about her being Dicks type) before stuffing his phone back into his pocket and moving from his post to go and get a drink. About 20 feet from his post he bumped into a nicely dressed guy, his hair black and suit tailored.. He also wore a Vladco pin on his left breast pocket.

He’d apologized and Tim told him it was no big deal, his eyes were blue.. But he could have sworn they were green when he first looked up. And his voice.. It sounded so familiar. Why did it sound familiar..?

As Tim walked away it hit him like a truck.. Wraith.

—————

Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz had been stealing for some time now, after Danny had been outed as Phantom to the whole town by his parents. Him, Sam, and Tucker had decided to all leave Amity since all of their parents were unaccepting.. Sam’s parents had gone so far as to write her out of their will.. Danny had told her and Tuck to stay in Amity and fix their relationships with their family, but they’d both said ‘that if Danny wasn’t in Amity Park then they didn’t have their family.’ So they left. The three stayed with Jazz for a bit but she was a broke college student that barely had enough money for food and rent. So the three started stealing food.. It was out of necessity at first, and only from big companies, but when Sam got an online invitation to a big gala that was showing off some old artifacts from a rich guy’s private collection, Danny felt a pull toward a particular item from his core. The item belonged to someone in the ghost zone.. and he needed to have it. He needed to return it.

So they stole it. Danny was to be Sam’s plus one as he’s basically a haunted item metal detector. Sam would steal the item and Tuck would turn out the lights and secretly system. Then Danny would get him and Sam out of there. Most of their plans would be similar to this format. Sam would also grift from the other patrons, only stealing from the ones who seemed to have a shit ton of money. Eventually even teaching Danny how to do it too, she’d told him that ‘using his ghost powers were a cop out’ when he brought that up.. and that ‘anyone would be able to feel the chill of it.’ Which Danny was sure that that was untrue.. But he learned how to steal a wallet, or a phone Sam’s way.

Jazz had been against the thefts at first saying that all of these items belonged to the original owner. But soon she was persuaded when Danny told her that they were stealing stolen items. Stolen ghost items. Some of the items even had a ghost core attached to it. So Jazz became their planner, she’d make sure they’d have all the info they needed and that no one got caught.

Danny ends up in jail after being caught trying to lift someone’s wallet.. Jazz was there to legally get him out and pay the bail. Tucker got caught in a backroom of a place they were stealing from. ‘Oh yeah that’s her brother who would often get himself trapped in closets looking for the bathroom.. She apologizes profusely..’

So when Tucker had found their newest item, a haunted vase that had a shit ton of death and destruction attached to it, Jazz had thought up the plan. She’d heard whisperings that Vlad had gotten invited to the party but Danny was going to go in his place since Vlad would never go. Then they had a plan. A plan they were meant to stick to, until someone ran her face and Danny started being followed. So they abandoned the vase opting to get out of there instead of getting caught.

[thisisnotthenerd]

as the fhjy premiere is upon us, i'm back with another edition of thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats. it's just the updates that are relevant, since relationship tracking is taking so long to do and i got sidetracked by polls for a few months. this will be sorted by the categories i have data for--you can look at the spreadsheet to find data for all d20 seasons. or you can read it on ao3. anyway:

player data:

runtime and episode data:

before the start of junior year, we have spent 88 hours, 40 minutes, and 14 seconds with the bad kids on-screen, including in oneshots. this is about 3 days, 16 hours, 40 minutes, and 14 seconds.

that's 41/221 d20 episodes, 22 of which were battle episodes.

we've spent 125 hours, 37 minutes, and 32 seconds in spyre as a whole, or 5 days, 5 hours, 37 minutes, and 32 seconds.

that's 57/221 d20 episodes, 32 of which were battle episodes.

cast appearances:

brennan at the top of the list, with 19 d20 appearances, 15 of those as a gm/dm.

next is lou, with 11 seasons as a player; 8 intrepid heroes seasons, 3 sidequests.

followed by ally, zac and siobhan, each with 2 different sidequests under their belts

second to last is emily, with 9, with acofaf

and in last is murph, with only 8. if aabria is in 2 of the 2024 d20 seasons, she's in the running to beat him.

seating preferences:

junior year tipped a lot of the intrepid heroes into a distinct preference, simply by setting them on one side of the table.

emily axford: strong left side preference (6/8), most commonly in L1 and L2. paired next to zac 5/8 seasons, and across from murph 5/8 seasons. fig sits in L1.

zac oyama: strong left side preference (6/8), most commonly in L2 and L1. paired next to emily 5/8 seasons, and across from ally 7/8 seasons. gorgug sits in L2.

siobhan thompson: weak left side preference (5/8), most commonly in L3 and R3. paired next to lou 7/8 seasons [doubled across 5/8], and across from emily 3/8 seasons. adaine sits in L3

lou wilson: even split preference, most commonly in R3 and L3. paired next to siobhan 7/8 seasons [doubled across 5/8], and across from murph 2/8 seasons. fabian sits in R3.

ally beardsley: strong right side preference, most commonly in R2 and R1. paired next to murph 6/8 seasons, and across from zac 7/8 seasons. kristen sits in R2.

brian ‘murph’ murphy: strong right side preference (7/8), the strongest of the intrepid heroes, most commonly in R1 and R2. paired next to ally 6/8 seasons, and across from emily 5/8 seasons. riz sits in R1.

character data:

given what the bts's have shown, there might be some changes to these that i'll update during the premiere, but as of now, this is a quick summary of the bad kids' data, including dnd race, class, level, highest stat, feats, and age. you can go through the thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats tag for my previous commentary on this data, or check out the spreadsheet.

i'm putting them at level 9 for now because that's what we left off with, but more than likely they're starting at level 10 or higher. we know about riz's respec, but there may be others that crop up during the season.

fig faeth: tiefling. lore bard 8, hexblade warlock 1. CHA. actor, lucky. 17-18

gorgug thistlespring: half-orc. berserker barbarian 8, artificer 1. STR. orcish aggression/fury. 18

adaine abernant: high elf. divination wizard 9. INT. spell sniper, war caster. 16-17

fabian seacaster: half-elf. battlemaster fighter 6, swords bard 3. DEX. sentinel. 18-19

kristen applebees: variant human. twilight cleric 9. WIS. human determination, inspiring leader. 17-18

riz gukgak: goblin. arcane trickster rogue 9. DEX. healer. 17

all of the bad kids have some magic now--the ladies are all full casters, while fabian is a split multiclass, gorgug is a 1/2 caster multiclass, and riz re-subclassed into a 1/3rd casting progression. still an even split of multiclasses and pure classes, though that may change. riz's re-spec has bumped arcane trickster up to the most common rogue subclass, with 6 arcane trickster characters, 4 of whom sit in R1.

and that's it! all of the intrepid heroes/bad kids data that i have updates for! see you all at the premiere of fantasy high: junior year tomorrow!

[raeynbowboi]

HOW TO PLAY AS THE BELCHERS IN DND 5E

Today, we're going to explore how to build the Belchers as a DnD Party. Plus Teddy. We're not really going to touch on stats. Let's be honest, the Belchers aren't really great at anything. If we were building them accurately, they'd all be super low level and/or with terrible stats. But it's your character and your campaign, so you can make them more or less optimized as you see fit. They're also all basic Humans, so we're pretty much just focusing on their classes and subclasses.

BOB BELCHER

PALADIN OATH OF DEVOTION

Bob is largely defined by his principles and values. As Tina puts it, Bob is a good business owner, but a bad businessman. He cares more about providing a quality service and succeeding his way than making money. And in Little Hard Dad, he's shown to say "It's the principle of it" way too often. This to me reads as a Paladin. Given his belief in quality service and moral principles, I label him as an Oath of Devotion Paladin.

VARIANT BUILD

FIGHTER SAMURAI ARCHETYPE

Bob is pretty boring and straightforward, which makes Fighter really fitting for his personality. If he was going to model himself after anyone, he'd choose Shinji Kojima/Hawk. Thus, the Samurai archetype. However, if we're leaning purely into the boring practicality and straightforwardness of Bob, I might suggest Champion instead. It's the most Fighter-y Fighter you can build.

Regardless of his class, make sure to pick up proficiency with Cook's Utensils or the Chef Feat.

LINDA BELCHER

BARD COLLEGE OF DANCE

Telling Linda Belcher not to sing or dance is like telling Tina not to talk about horses or telling Bob not to cook. It's just not going to happen. She loves the theater, she sings all the time, and she was once in an amateur garage band. All the makings of a classic bard. Given her love of dancing, I went with the College of Dance.

TINA BELCHER

CLERIC LIFE DOMAIN

Tina is the family member who puts the most stock in things like fate, true love, karma, and damnation. She is also one of the characters that mentions religion more than anyone else. More specifically, she strikes me as a Cleric of Sune, the Faerunian Goddess of Love and Beauty. Sune's virtues include following your heart wherever it leads, championing love and romance at all costs, taking any risk in pursuit of love, being true to your heart and your passions without shame, and trying to make the world a more beautiful place. As such, Tina is the perfect candidate for a Cleric of Sune. Sune has two domains: Life and Light. Given that Tina has at least some interest in nursing, the Life Domain seems more in-line with Tina's values as a follower of Sune.

GENE BELCHER

SORCERER WILD MAGIC ORIGIN

I know, I know. It's a sin that he's not a Bard. But Gene and Linda are very similar characters, and both work as Bards. The best thing for a party is diversity. So, I looked at Gene's personality beyond just his music. And the core of Gene is whacky nonsense. Usually, when Gene tells stories, it's an excuse for weird imagery. The Banana-fullo, Fart School, radioactive pizza sauce. Thus, the Wild Magic origin for Sorcerers spoke to me. Gene loves whacky randomness, so he would be drawn to Wild Magic. Plus, he's not really a good bard. He hates practicing, he's unfamiliar with the concept of a workbook, and kind of just expects a music career to be handed to him. Hell, when he got cast in a play and had all of two lines, he didn't memorize them, and wanted to ad lib every take. Gene's a sorcerer with the Entertainer background, but he is NOT a bard. He doesn't take his craft seriously the way Linda does.

LOUISE BELCHER

ROGUE ASSASSIN ARCHETYPE

One of Louise's main skills is her ability to pick locks. Bob is literally afraid to go into her room as he expects boobie traps to hurt him. She's a clever tactician, masterminding several heists and revenge schemes. She's good at tricking people and lying to their faces to get what she wants. As for why she's an assassin, in the episode where Louise is uncertain of her future, one vignette paints as a John Wick style Wedgie-Sassin. She's also a fan of Francine, a Special Girl doll that spied on the Russians during the Cold War. She's not typically a fan of girly things, but she does like the one that's a spy. She's definitely the family member who would be the outlaw punk of the group.

RANGER GLOOMSTALKER CONCLAVE

In more recent seasons, we've seen a newfound interest in archery, with Louise even making a zombie movie centered around her blossoming hobby. The Gloomstalker/Assassin multiclass is also a very good multiclass in combat, which is why I felt it was the most fitting for Louise. She's also pretty accurate with other ranged combat like spitballs and throwing things at people.

TEDDY THE HANDYMAN

ARTIFICER BATTLE SMITH

This one pretty much goes without saying. He's a mechanic and handyman, he's used to moving and hauling heavy objects, plus he's burly, making him a great fit for the party's tank. The Battle Smith is an artificer built for the front line, and they get to be joined by a mechanical ally. Teddy would absolutely take a hit for any of the Belchers. The guy also fell off a roof and walked it off, so he's definitely got the highest Constitution score of the group.

I think this party turned out alright. Bob and Teddy are on the frontlines, Linda and Tina are the primary support, Gene is a ball of pure chaos and uncontrolled energy, and Louise is sniping people from the shadows. Everyone's doing what they should be doing to work as a unit, and also happen to be a fairly well-balanced party as well. This is an especially good party for low stakes and silly campaigns, but probably not the kind of party you want to bring to Barovia or Avernus.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #345: Kriemhild

today on grailfinders, we’re getting close to the end of our traum(a), but before that, we need to get revenge! on what, you ask? doesn’t matter, I’m sure we’ll think of something in the planning phase. to help out, we’re gonna be making a build of Kriemhild, Siegfried’s wife and avenger. (a “kriembuild”, if you will)

Kriemhild is a Mastermind (mistressmind?) Rogue to be a cunning little cutthroat, as well as a Hexblade Warlock to steal her husband’s gold and sword and start lopping heads. whether the gold or sword is the hexblade in this situation doesn’t matter that much, either way it’s a magical lump of metal giving you power.

...are nuclear power plants hexblades? I’m getting off topic.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

next up: waka waka waka waka

Ancestry and Background

once again, Kriemhild is Human, and with the variant rules that gives you +1 Intelligence & Charisma, as well as proficiency in Arcana (or maybe Nature? idk what skill would help you figure out your husband’s weak points), and the Lucky feat to forcibly re-roll a d20 that directly involves you up to three times a day. Kriemhild’s a schemer, and just like I said in the wodime build, sometimes you get to actually plan, some times you just have to pretend you meant for stuff to happen after the fact.

you’re a Noble of course, but we’re mixing it up and giving you proficiency in History and Intimidation. I hope I don’t need to explain that Kriemhild is scary. don’t cut her in line, trust me

Ability Scores

on that note, it’s no surprise Kriemhild’s Charisma is as high as it is- she’s scary, sure, but she’s also plenty devious and tricksy too. after that is her Dexterity. she wears like, zero armor for most of her ascensions, so good luck not getting hit. third is Intelligence for better scheming, and we’ll at least keep your Constitution positive so you can survive the occasional hit. just don’t go pissing off any gentleman inspectors. this does mean your Strength is a bit low, but it turns out that’s optional for wielding a greatsword, who knew? just drag it around til you need to murder people. of course, this all means we’re dumping your Wisdom score. berserkers, am I right?

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: starting as a rogue gives you a lot of proficiencies, like Insight, Deception, Persuasion, and Sleight of Hand. you plan around people, and I don’t even know what proof “that Siegfried, and not Gunther, has taken Brunhild's virginity” (to quote wikipedia) would even look like, but you probably forged that. also, Dexterity and Intelligence saves, which is nice. you like fire, it would never hurt you.

if that’s not enough proficiency, you also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your bonus for Deception and Intimidation! you can also add a Sneak Attack to your damage while wielding a finesse or ranged weapon, though you also need either an ally standing next to your target or advantage to hit. it’s a bit situational, but an extra d6 is an extra d6.

also, you know Thieves’ Cant! it’s a language!

2. Rogue 2: second level rogues can make Cunning Actions- or, cunning bonus actions, anyway. you can dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action, leaving your usual action open for anything you want, like murder! or planning murder!

3. Rogue 3: third level Mastermind rogues get a lot of stuff, including the full-class feature Steady Aim. if you don’t move before or after attacking on your turn, you can spend your bonus action for free advantage! just drag that big ol’ sword around and everything will work out eventually

but all that’s for later. for now, you’re a mastermind, which means you’re a Master of Intrigue- you’re proficient with even more stuff- the disguise kit, the forgery kit, one gaming set, and an extra two languages! you can also copy accents you’ve heard before.

also your sneak attack grows to 2d6. I’m probably going to forget to mention this every time, so just know you add another die every odd level.

if you’re eager to get to fightin’ you’re also a Master of Tactics, letting you use the Help action as a bonus action and at range! so I guess you’re not fighting with this, but every bit helps.

4. Rogue 4: use your first ASI to bump up your Dexterity. this’ll help you not get hit, and also use something small like a dagger. don’t worry, the sword is coming I promise. presumably your husband’s still alive at level 4.

5. Rogue 5: fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge- if you get hit by an attack, you can react to turn a direct hit into a graze, only taking half the damage in the process. don’t die, basically.

6. Rogue 6: at sixth level you get a second round of Expertise, doubling down on Sleight of Hand and Arcana. forge gooder and remember how your husband can be killed. I’m sure that will never bite you in the ass.

7. Rogue 7: seventh level rogues get Evasion, so now your failed dexterity saves protect you as if they were successes, and your successes negate all damage!

8. Rogue 8: use your next ASI to bump up your Dexterity once again. not dying is a great strategy, keep it up.

9. Rogue 9: ninth level masterminds are Insightful Manipulators- if you spend a minute with someone out of combat, you can learn how their soft stats (intelligence, wisdom, charisma) or levels compare to yours, or you can even learn bits of their backstory or personality!

10. Rogue 10: tenth level rogues get another ASI, so start working on your Charisma. scheme better, and uhhh, this’ll help later too. that’s for later though.

11. Rogue 11: eleventh level rogues are a Reliable Talent, so now every time you roll a skill check you’re proficient in your roll will always be count as at least a 10. that means every deception check you have to make will always count as at least a 22 in total.

12. Rogue 12: did I say 22? let’s make it 23 by bumping your Charisma up to maximum with this ASI.

13. Rogue 13: thirteenth level masterminds can put a taunt on another party member with Misdirection- if you would take an attack while another creature is standing next to you, you can react to force said creature to take the hit instead. every good plan needs a scapegoat.

14. Rogue 14: at level 14 your Blindsense lets you detect invisible creatures within 10’ of you. I guess you could consider this the dragon sword helping out? it’s a little early, but at least it’s harder to get the drop on you now.

15. Rogue 15: with our last level of rogue, your Slippery Mind gives you proficiency with Wisdom saves. I wish it wasn’t so, but we don’t need any more warlock spells, and your levels have to go somewhere. what a shame.

on the plus side, your husband’s dead now.

16. Warlock 1: so, sorry about your husband, but on the plus side you inherited his Hexblade, so you get some Pact Magic out the gate! you only get a handful of spell slots, but whenever you cast something using your Charisma you can recharge the slot on a short rest!

speaking of spells, Eldritch Blast is a generic ranged option, Sword Burst lets you spin around and hit everyone, Wrathful Smite lets you add a little damage to your attack and frighten creatures who get hit by it (surprisingly effective against dragons btw), and Distort Value will make people care a lot more about some worthless rocks than they really should. yeah I’m giving you the rheingold too, it’s in your bond CE so it counts.

you’re also a Hex Warrior, so you can use your charisma instead of strength or dexterity to attack with a weapon chosen after each long rest. this doesn’t work with Siegfried’s sword yet, but we’ll get there.

for the time being, at least you can use Hexblade’s Curse on your next target, giving you bonus damage, an improved critical hit rate, and you regain health upon your target’s death, all for up to a minute, once per short rest.

17. Warlock 2: second level warlocks get two Eldritch Invocations, though we’re really only using one this level- the other is getting swapped out in a level anyway. Armor of Shadows gives you free mage armor on yourself for what is basically a permanent +3 bonus to AC while unarmored. ironically, your third ascension actually has armor, so this spell’s a bit late.

you also learn the spell Illusory Script, letting you write one thing but have it look like something else. I don’t think should really be part of Kriemhild’s kit, but it certainly fits the theme, doesn’t it?

18. Warlock 3: now that you’ve entered into the Pact of the Blade with an Improved Pact Weapon, you can summon just about any weapon you wish as an action and use charisma to wield it expertly. that being said, you can also turn a magical weapon like Balmung into your pact weapon.

of course, no matter what ability you use to swing it, a great sword will never be able to use your sneak attack, which is why you can also summon a Shadow Blade now. it’s a light weapon that deals psychic damage when it connects, but more importantly it has the finesse property. you can also summon it to your hand as a bonus action, and it lasts for up to 1 minute.

19. Warlock 4: now that your AC is decent enough and your Charisma is maxed out, use your last ASI to improve your Constitution for more health. you can also cast True Strike now, which is steady aim but worse, or use Crown of Madness to sow the seeds of war. if your target fails their wisdom save, you can force it to attack a creature of your choice, causing chaos and wasting its action. you also have to waste your action to keep the spell going, but rogues have tons of stuff they can do as a bonus action, so it kind of evens out.

20. Warlock 5: for our last spell, you can invoke the rheingold to Incite Greed, charming nearby creatures into congregating around you for up to a minute. they also have to repeatedly fail wisdom saves, but I’m sure it’s fine.

if that doesn’t work, you can always take the direct approach and use Eldritch Smite, burning a spell slot to add 4d8 force damage to your hit and forcing a save or knocking the target prone. this is actually a really nice way to knock a dragon out of the sky if you’re okay bending the rules to grab a bow, so I think our anti-dragon damage condition has been met by this point.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

with easy access to advantage and improved critical chances from your hexblade’s curse, Kriemhild is really good at dishing out critical hits, and thanks to sneak attack and smites, you can really capitalize on those to deal a ton of damage quickly.

you’re also great at sowing discontent in enemy forces, falsifying written orders and forcing them to attack each other with spells and misdirection.

on top of that, you make for a great party face thanks to your maxed out charisma, complete lack of critical failure on charisma checks, and expertise. you’re great at weaseling your way into a situation, then hacking your way back out.

Cons:

balmung is a greatsword, or at the very least a longsword. regardless, that fact seriously neuters the cohesion of this build. smites are nice, but you were already dealing way more damage with a regular dagger by this point. plus, being a sword prevents you from using ranged attacks, which are way more helpful when taking down dragons. basically if you play this build too close to character, it messes with the build mechanics and its flavor.

like mentioned above, your warlock stuff is cool, but it’s already outclassed by your rogue features by the time you get it at the end of the build. it’s a shame siegfried dies near the end of the nibelungenlied, because his sword would be way more useful early on.

every feature you have outside of your sneak attack is pretty situational, since a ton of it relies on fighting things that actually think. in fate and in history, this isn’t too much of an issue, but dnd has armies of undead, constructs, and wild animals that’ll shut down your provocations before they ever get started.

...ignore the fact that we've been infinitely more productive the two days ff14's been offline, that's a coincidence, I swear.

[neon-prison]

A few Cyberpunk headcanons

1- Misty comes from a decently wealthy family. Wealthy enough to open an esoterica shop that, by her own admission, rarely anyone ever frequents (and Night City CoL is obscene). Her family, while mostly in Warsaw, fund her lifestyle while simultaneously being hypercritical of her choices. Furthermore, I headcanon that she's possibly a potential heir (a third or fourth grandchild) to a mid-size corp overseas- one whose mother (or father) forsook to live in Night City.

2- Takemura, at one point in the game, says he has other "obligations" in Japan, gently rejecting your offer for company (which was heavily implied to be sexual). Headcanon that those obligations are actually an arranged marriage nurtured under the watchful eye of the late Saburo Arasaka. There's no way someone as close to Saburo as Takemura would be allowed to marry whoever he wanted. As Saburo's right hand, marrying Takemura might be considered a political maneuver, and knowing Saburo's obsession with control and power, I headcanon that he brokered a marriage between someone and Takemura (possibly a lesser rival's/opponent's child)- an obligation that Goro can't let go of. However, how this obligation unfolds given recent events...well...who knows?

3-Dumdum has a vibrating tongue. And other appendages. That is all.

4-Delamain's divergent rogue offshoots directly resulted from the Takemura jacking you into his mainframe. While Delamain probably has interfaced with other humans, he most likely hasn't done so with a recently deceased man with a relic taking over their brain. Headcanon that jacking into V affected his registry in the same way as the relic did, splitting him into several different variants that are destroying/taking over him in their attempt to live.

Anyways, nothing here is super researched or anything, so there's probably information out there that counters this, but the ideas were fun!

Thoughts or counters? Addendums? Does anyone have their own special headcanons they wanna share in the comments? I'd love to know. (And obviously these are super personal!)

[anonymous-dentist]

QSMP Characters’ DnD Classes

Cellbit- Half-elf Inquisitive Rogue/Pact of Order (Homebrew Federation warlock subclass)

Once upon a time he was actually a barbarian (his rage was fueled by hunger), then he shifted his levels into being an assassin rogue, and now he’s an inquisitive rogue who refuses to acknowledge his new warlock abilities. But sometimes he still feels the urge to rage

Roier- Changeling College of Whispers Bard

Haha no you’re crazy?? He’s literally a glamour bard? He definitely doesn’t have a crazy good insight score and he DEFINITELY doesn’t add 2d6 psychic damage to his weapon attacks once a turn? He absolutely doesn’t have the ability to spread dissonance and confusion and learn people’s secrets and keep his own? Definitely no secret magical shapeshifting ability that he gets from stealing people’s shadows?

Fit- Human Battle Master Fighter

This man is a variant human fighter with the skulker feat and you cannot convince me otherwise like?? Dude probably has the gladiator background straight out of 2B2T and all he does is Fight Good in his mind

Bagi- Half-elf Inquisitive Rogue

She’s an Actual Detective and she has a +3 Frying Pan signature weapon that she had custom forged the last time she was in Waterdeep, okay? She is thinking about multiclassing into wizard, though. It’d be fun!

Antoine- Great Old One Warlock

He is his own patron and he is not afraid to say this. Shame nobody believes him.

Baghera- Aarakocra Arcane Trickster Rogue/Pact of the Watcher (Homebrew Watcher warlock subclass)

She’s just a silly little guy who has acquired a depressing amount of bloodlust thanks to her new warlock patron! Technically, Cellbit should have the same patron as her, but Cucurucho always shows up at the wrong time and ruins everything!!

[cannonball5]

If Dragon Prince characters were D&D builds

With the new season coming out and me being a little bored I came up with this and thought I’d share.

Callum- Variant Human Order of Scribes Wizard. Most people might think he’s a sorcerer but he isn’t born with a connection to the Arcanums, he learns to tap into their power through study and experience. His starting feat is Lucky. Also he has the Eldritch Adept feat after using Dark Magic gave him a connection to Aaravos, it gives him Eyes of the Rune Keeper to help with his research.

Rayla- A Pallid Elf Assassin Rogue…at least at first. I think after the time jump she changed into a Scout Rogue/Fighter with the Magic Initiate feat for a couple of cantrips and The Find Familiar spell (Stella is her Familiar). For her Fighter levels Battle Master seems the most appropriate for the Maneuvers. Also she probably has the Mage Slayer feat to help deal with Claudia and Viren.

Ezran- Variant Human Drakewarden Ranger. His starting feat is Eldritch Adept for Beast Speech (I know technically he can’t get this without spellcasting but Rangers get that at level 2 and if it’s really important starting Ezran with a level in Druid would work). Due to his bond with Zym and him communicating with dragons in the season 3 finale I think Drakewarden suits him best.

Claudia- Variant Human Celestial Pact of the Tome Warlock/Bard. All Dark mages seem to be subservient to Aaravos in some way. Even Callum who only used Dark Magic once. Anyway for her additional spells and I could see some Bard levels to reference her studying magic maybe a Lore Bard or a Whispers bard. Her feat is Metamagic Adept to show her experience.

Soren- V Human Champion Fighter/Oath of the Crown Paladin. Soren’s pretty straight forward. He’s good at fighting and the Paladin is to denote his position as a Crown Guard. His feat is either Medium Armor Master (he’s incredibly quiet in all that armor) or Heavy Armor Master, depending on what you think he’s wearing.

Viren- V Human Archfey Pact of the Talisman Warlock/Eloquence Bard. Aaravos is a Patron that can be included in many subclasses of Warlock and for Viren he’s an Archfey Patron. At one point I think he might have been a Lore Bard but changed over to Eloquence when he became Harrow’s primary advisor. His feat is War Caster because of his focus.

I just wanted to focus on the main characters, but I’m happy to do more if anyone wants me to.

Looking forward to season 6.

[youronlybean]

Please,,,, 5e Team Sickos 🥺👉👈

Format: Name - [Subrace] Race, Subclass Class, Background + any relevant feats

Chilled - Human Variant (high Cha. Obviously), College of Whispers Bard, Charlatan with the Silver-Tongued feat

Ze - Tiefling, Drakewarden Ranger, Sage(?)

Shubble - Forest Gnome, Circle of Spores Druid, Hermit

For Chilled I was so torn between Mastermind Rogue and Whispers Bard, since they are both such deception-based classes, but ultimately I thought bard was more true to his goofier side. Charlatan was the obvious choice for his background, and a slight homage to the cardboard shop bit. He also just gives human energy, variant for the higher charisma stat.

For Ze I honestly had no idea. I thought at first maybe Barbarian but none of the subclasses really called to me. I went with Drakewarden Ranger because I want Ze to have a dragon companion. Possibly named Hashbrown. That’s it. He’s a tiefling because of the horns, and I don’t know about background but I thought Sage bc comp-sci degree lol. I liked the artificer idea for this reason but uhhh. Dragon!!!!

So Shubble’s is obvious if you watched Empires (go watch Empires). Circle of Spores is because of S2 with the Evermoore, and she’s a Gnome and a Hermit because of S1 with Shrub. Spores felt right for the Evermoore because of the Necrotic spells, as well as the decay and the Skulkfan135 incident.

[pandagirl45]

Tony would totally play elden ring. Why? No reason. I think it's amusing to think about Tony playing and modding games.

Like he would talk about the original demon souls and just infodump on it. He be the one to try to beat ghost and ghouls.

Something. Something. Gamer Tony.

Let see, my personal headcanos, relating and not relating to the Canon stuff

Tony with extremis eyes can go arc reactor blue and sometimes orange due to magic silliness

Tony is a gamer

Tony is a goth

Tony is cat coded, lioness coded, tiger coded, humming bird, and my personal favorite a lion and lynx mix

Tony as mythological creatures ranges from dyrads to dragons. Dyrad, fire elemental/fairy, dragon, and werecat

If he was a wizard, he'd be close to nature and technology

Tony is ploygot

For me, my au Tony is demisexual and biromantic (other aus, I leave up for the reader)

I like having butterfingers, dume and u and call them the triplets. Jarvis is the "eldest". Vision and Ultron are the youngest

Tony definitely try to repress a lot of himself due to childhood trauma and fears.

My au Tony hides his scars. Arms, back of thighs, and back.

Tony is definitely sicilian/lybian and American (howard side)

He did look up to steve but he likes the underdog more (because I'm trash and I ship winteriron. Plus I think he would happily choose bucky just to irk howard off)

He straightens his hair before style it (naturally curl, 4C, yadda yadda)

Tony pairings I find cute or I actively ship, winteriron of course, stony, pepperony, t'challa and Tony (I see it), clint and tony (platonically), thor and Tony, and that's about it for now. (I guess rhodey and Tony, but also platonic, familial love)

If he has human kids, morgan is the only biological one, Harley adopted (if his mom is alive, then tony is a mentor), Peter, same as harley, miles, same as harley. Anna Marie (rogue), why? Because I think it'd be amazing to see Tony and Rogue just grow together. Tony getting the avengers to help her understand and work with her powers. Especially if tony has extremis, (yes I know that is weird but work with me), and she let's go of the abilities and act. All them and the bots, Tony is a mother hen.

Tony doesn't actively seek to have kids or get married, if it happens and he finds himself feeling safe and comfortable so be it.

I got this from the Fandom and hearing the about the food hiding on set of rdj adventures. Blueberries are his favorite fruit. Veggies I want to say a squash variant. Dish, many.

He can cook and bake but he just refuses too. When he bakes, he makes the thing dessert into something else, on accident.

He can dance, play piano, and sing (Maria. Don't tell me Maria and her side of the family wasn't at least musically inclined).

These are headcanons because I like them. I think they are amusing or add something to his already very interesting and independent character. Little things I suppose. I can do one for steve. I have plenty for him.

[los-ninos-tortugas]

Important question: which VERSION of the Turtles are the Mystery Gang meeting? And which version of the Mystery Gang are the Turtles meeting? Or do we have several variants meeting each other at once? For example, the classic Scooby Doo Where Are You gang paired with the 84 Turtles, the Live Action Scooby gang paired with the Bayverse Turtles, the Be Cool Scooby Doo gang paired with the Rise Turtles, the Mystery Incorporated gang paired with the 2003 Turtles, and the What’s New Scooby Doo gang paired with the 2012 Turtles. For some reason a villain has brought them together - perhaps to pit the different groups against each other. They have had enough of meddling teenagers solving mysteries!!!

(Brought to you by someone who is both way too invested in TMNT and also really likes Scooby Doo.)

Okay for real this made me laugh so thank you for that. All the different combinations are very funny and the idea of some villain who is super tired of meddling kids of all varieties, human and turtles alike, is kinda hilarious lolol. Admittedly though, I don’t think it’s something I could handle the execution of, it’s very big, lol.

I think if I had to come up with a version that could fit in the run-time of say, a 45 minute TV special I think the most potential for fun and hijinks comes from either a combination with the 87 turtles (because they’re just so fun and silly inherently) or with the Rise Turtles (also really funny). Not that I don’t love my 2003 boys but they’re just on the edge of a little too serious I think. I just can’t imagine them doing the hallway chase gag set to a fun pop song.

As for the mystery gang themselves… hmm sometimes in these sorts of specials we get almost a whole new iteration of the gang in order to fit the world they’re in but to just pick a specific version… okay frankly I’m biased because I grew up watching both Scooby-Doo Where are you? And What’s New Scooby-Doo, but the classic gang is so early days that they don’t quite have personalities yet so they’re a little boring, I feel like the What’s New Scooby-Doo gang is the best bet lmao.

If it’s the mystery gang and the 87 turtles I think there could be some fun with identity mix ups between Daphne and April, since they kinda look alike (and I could be remembering wrong but I think this is the iteration of Daphne that has an interest in journalism). Maybe she and Daphne are like, secret distant cousins or something and that’s why the gang is visiting New York (I haven’t really watched the 87 show yet, so everything I know about the 87 turtles comes from Turtles Forever)

With the Rise boys and the mystery gang, I still think there’d be that human connection with April as the sort of liaison because again, famous mystery solving teens, and aspiring teenage journalist, April has got to get the scoop and the boys are coming along for the ride. Heck, maybe the gang is accidentally following the trail of one of the Turtles’ rogues, thinking that it’s a person in a costume and not a mutant, and that’s how they cross paths! Hijinks ensue.

Overall I just think the potential for comedy is really good. Also I think it’d be really funny if the turtles are more astonished by the talking dog than the gang is by talking turtles lololol.

[pokemon-variants-pokedex]

What would a cross between a Zoroark and Thievul be called?

Hello!

The crossbreed between a Unovan Zoroark mother and a Thievul father is called the Banded breed! The banded markings resemble the mask and gloves markings that Thievuls have! They are mostly a captivity breed and are mostly bred by professors to study genetics and disease prevention (this is done humanely! Don't worry!) (ooc/// my sister came up with the name for this! She even specified that the markings would resemble gloves and a mask!)

The crossbreed between a Hisuian Zoroark mother and a Thievul father is called the Rogue breed! This is bred only in captivity and is done for conservation efforts! Pretty much all breeds that require a hisuian variant parent are for conservation efforts! They are called the Rogue breed because they have shown a preference for being alone and only being seen with others during mating season and until their pups are old enough to live on their own.

The crossbreed between a Thievul mother and a Unovan Zoroark father is called the Masquerade breed! This is a captivity contest breed! They are called the Masquerade breed because their masks have unique patterns that often resemble the patterns found on masquerade masks.

The crossbreed between a Thievul mother and a Hisuian Zoroark father is called the grave robber breed and is, once again, a captivity breed for conservation purposes. They are called the Grave Robber breed as, even in captivity, they prefer their food to be dead and to eat the meat off of dead corpses instead of hunting their food instead. There is a reason why conservation efforts prefer to breed Rogue breed Zoroas and Zoroarks instead of Grave Robber Nickits and Thievuls.

-Prof. V. Maple

[reduxulousoctopus]

Recently remembered that time Rob Paulson had the cast of Justice League animated do a read-through of a scene from Lord of the Rings, which got me thinking that it would be fun to do some fan art or something of the DCAU in a fantasy setting. A series of bad decisions later and I've plotted out three chapters'-worth of "the first episode of Justice League but they're a party of DnD adventurers and they're fighting Mind Flayers".

Fun fact, I don't know shit about DnD. This is a terrible idea.

Anyway, here's what I've got of the characters so far:

Clark is an aasimar paladin

Bruce is a human monk/rogue, maybe some artificer so he can make gadgets

Idk Diana's race yet (boring options: variant human or custom lineage; spicy options: centaur or leonin) but she's a cleric of Hera, whose domain is listed as trickery but obviously we're going with strength instead

John is a human warlock, with some fighter or ranger stuff from his time in the military. Idk what patron would be a good stand-in for the Guardians

Shayera is an avariel barbarian

Wally is a halfling sorcerer

J'Onn is a gith wizard

I have some rough ideas for their backstories/origins, too, but I'll hold off posting those until I've done more research.

UPDATE: Diana's an earth genasi. I'm as surprised as you are that I didn't think of it before. And also, it turns out DnD halflings aren't actually Tolkien hobbits with the serial number filed off like I thought and I want Wally to have pointy ears to stand in for the lightning bolts on his mask, so he's a gnome now.

[namethatghostling]

Please tell us EVERYTHING about your dyke scarecrow au🎃🐦‍⬛

ghjk its not even rly like a full fledged au or anything i just resonate so heavily w the character and i was like. sure ok everyones making their own version of their fav rogues, why not me? so basically shes just like a mishmash of all my favorite interpretations and adaptations of the character with a heavy sprinkling of Gender

(also some vaguely paranormal spooky shit bc im so obsessed w scarecrows potential as like an actual horror character. in my version its left deliberately unclear if scarecrow the villain is %100 a persona made up by jon or if its a literal possessing force that has haunted her from childhood. make of it what u will.)

the whole origin story thing goes a little like this. jon crane (she/he/they/it), born johanna keeny, was raised by his fundie xtian grandma, mary keeny, in a farming town in georgia. from childhood she was kind of an oddball, and had a strange preoccupation with fear, loving ghost stories and occasionally menacing the crows that were common on the family land just to see them scatter.

they were always booksmart but also pretty socially inept. bullied at school and either ignored or brutally "disciplined" at home, she found consolation and comfort in books, everything from classic literature to dense scientific texts to trashy pulp horror. jon also struggled with (largely undiagnosed/untreated) chronic pain and, as a result, sleep issues. when she was able to sleep she often experienced sleep paralysis which manifested in nightmares and waking hallucinations of the scarecrow in the field outside the window speaking to her. its voice was wretched like nails scraping glass, but it spoke kindly to them, promising to protect them from the true nightmare that was yet to come. jon tried not to listen. she considered herself too sensible to believe in boogiemen. but as she got older things got worse, her body and mind continued to act against her, certain secrets regarding her sexuality came to light, followed by a confrontation with her granny after she began to threaten her with the promise of "exorcism"...

eventually, jon was left with no choice but to let the scarecrow handle things.

more assorted infodumping below the cut

after using the meager inheritance left by dear departed granny to pursue higher education in gotham, jon legally changed their name both in order to make it harder to track down their history and as a final spiteful gesture, taking the surname of the man grandma keeny had blamed for the corruption of her daughter.

legally she is still johanna and doesnt necessarily mind her given name but still vastly prefers jon. a very select few people are allowed to call her jonny, and NO ONE is allowed to call her joni/joanie any variant thereof.

their rise to villainy is still mostly the same since thats one thing that is generally p consistent in canon. professor of psychology, not well liked by students or staff, secretly working on a pet project involving testing the affects of fear on the human mind with some less than willing test subjects, yadda yadda yadda

scarecrow both is and isnt a separate entity from jon. jon, being scientifically minded, most of the time considers scarecrow to be the natural result of a traumatic childhood manifesting in a protector figure that gains control of their shared body during moments of intense stress or panic. this is true! in certain less rational moments however she believes it to be a completely foreign being, a literal demon that has plagued her family line for generations, like granny always said. this is also true! how can both of those things be factually correct? figure it out yourself!

scarecrow is always eager to wreak some havoc on anyone who gets in jon's way, but as for jon, he has refused to directly inflict violence on anyone since his grandmother. she was his first and last. jon's far from a pacifist, but hes also not bloodthirsty, and scarecrow begrudgingly respects his wishes. after all, its better if the test subjects stay alive as long as possible anyway.

jon has hypermobile eds. as a kid they used to freak out their classmates by messing around with their double joints and stretching out their skin. it became a lot less fun for them in adolescence when the background hum of joint pain suddenly teamed up with their growing pains, also made worse by grannys dislike of doctors delaying their diagnosis for years and their refusal to use mobility aids when they needed them out of fear of the bullying getting any worse. they finally gave in and started regularly using a cane in college but sometimes theyll still try to go without it. not great.

also related to the above, she has had kind of a fucked relationship with self medicating to deal with pain in the past. and in the present to a degree. also kind of a fucked relationship with pain in general.

probably autistic and definitely experiences some flavor of paranoid psychosis and ptsd but was never diagnosed with either because 1) they knew it would impact their ability to pursue their field of choice since they would always be considered "too close" when it came to matters of psychology and 2) theyre pretty sure theres nothing another doctor could tell them about themself that they dont already know and better.

masks like their life depends on it in public and pretty well most of the time. people for sure know theres something up with that crane guy but not enough to really give a shit most of the time. fucking hates stimming around other people. fucking HATES being treated as infantile or less capable.

one of the many benefits of becoming scarecrow, whether in terms of the villain persona or the being that is and isnt jon, is being able to be a lot more visibly bizarre without being treated like a child. instead people just treat it like a threat, which it prefers greatly.

vocal stim of quoting lines from favorite books, old nursery rhymes, and even the occasional half-remembered church song. jons grandmothers religion was largely a burden she dropped as soon as she could, but unfortunately they kinda went off with the southern gospel.

she had her first kiss with a girl from her class after sneaking away from a halloween party together. they got caught and after the news got out the girl hurriedly got back together with her ex boyfriend to protect herself from the inevitable backlash. scarecrow thinks she should have gone the way of dear old granny, but jon stubbornly disagrees to this day despite it all.

people generally think jon is older than he is. this used to bother him but now hes kind of into the whole weathered old butch vibe. certified queer elder moment.

still as much of a nerdass bookworm as she was as a kid. cried until she made herself sick the first time she read carrie. will take this to her grave.

of course theres more but once again this is fuckin long enough already.

[sleepymarmot]

My reactions to the Veilguard character creator stuff released yesterday. No story spoilers.

I hope we'll get choices for the Inquisitor's prosthetic, because wtf is this:

Just looks like a normal hand with a slightly glossy texture. At first I even thought she grew her hand back somehow. This can't be it! If they don't let the Inquisitor be very visibly an amputee I'm going to riot.

Also, I wonder why the Inquisitor is wearing the same clothes that in other clips are confirmed to be the Shadow Dragons casual outfit.

---

A combat video confirmed that Spellblade is electricity and Evoker is cold damage. Disappointing. And do you have to play a Champion to have a fire-themed character?

---

I wanted to play a rogue Shadow Dragon. Then I wondered if a mage Spellblade Shadow Dragon could fit the concept.

This is the "aspirational armor" for a female mage Shadow Dragon:

And this is for a female rogue:

The mage armor is immeasurably better than the rogue! The same is true for Mourn Watch and Antivan Crows. I don't want to wear this! I was so excited to see the first Shadow Dragon armor, only to realize later that it was for the wrong class. I wonder if transmog works between class variants... My Inquisitor was a mage, so I want Rook not to be one.

Why does rogue get the worst armor in a faction where your backstory is about stealth :(

---

I'm still not sure who to play: elf or human.

Initially I wanted a city elf rogue, to contrast my Dalish elf mage Inquisitor. But I wanted her to think of Tevinter as her homeland, like Dorian does. And for an elf, the Mercar backstory would make that a bit sinister, wouldn't it? Adopted by a human family and assimilated to the point she wants to redeem their human empire built on enslaving elves and appropriating their culture?

On the other hand, this worldstate hasn't had a city elf hero yet. Another strike against humans: one of my main candidates for romance is Neve. Two brown human Tevene Shadow Dragons women together — that's too similar. (Human Shadow Dragon Rook is more or less South Asian in my mind.)

This problem could be solved if we could play as an elf-blooded human... But it's not very likely that we'd have dialogue confirming that. Just as well we could have dialogue that would contradict the idea, stopping me from playing it even as a headcanon.

There's also qunari: I haven't played one in this worldstate, so they would be the most obvious option, if not for the faction. A kossith baby getting adopted by humans in Tevinter and "fighting from the shadows" to abolish slavery? Way too much going on at once, and too implausible. A qunari in Tevinter would be so conspicuous they'd compromise any secret operation by their presence alone.

(Looks like I'm not alone, some players on reddit who also planned elf SDs are also disappointed.)

---

We can have top surgery scars, that's nice. But what do we attach them to? Can we have a body with a flat chest but wide hips? I didn't see one on the thumbnails in people's videos, they all seemed either fully masculine or fully feminine.

---

That's the second darkest skin tone with 95% melanin? Looks really light. Maybe the lighting here washes out? My Inquisitor's skin is about as dark as Davrin's, this looks nowhere near.