#sherri iona

[lindaseccaspina]

Don Lashley-- Photos -- Thanks to Sherri Iona

Sherri Iona July 29, 2024 Thirty years ago today, we lost our wonderful dad, Don Lashley at 64 years too young. He was younger than I am now, when he passed away, and it seems both surreal and yet like it was yesterday. He was a true gentleman, who loved his whole family more than anything. He led each of his children by giving us foundation for life that never fails. He grew up on the family…

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

*Ahem*

I SAID

MILF. COMPETITION.

Alright you guys! I’ve seen enough tournaments floating around on here for me to want to start my own, and what could be a better subject to hold a competition on than milfs? Nothing.

I’ve taken the liberty of putting together a list of all the moms across the eight Yugioh series we have, and I’m going to be making them compete for the milf championship belt. If you feel like there’s anyone I’ve skipped over in this, feel free to submit an ask and let me know! This goes especially for fans who’ve watched Sevens and Go Rush, as there don’t appear to be any milfs there, at least as far as I can tell from the wiki searching I did (Well, there is one mom in Sevens, but...)

Anyway! List of competing moms below the cut

Duel Monsters

Mrs. Muto (Yugi’s mom)

Mrs. Wheeler/Ms. Kawai (Joey’s mom)

Mrs. Ishtar (Marik, Ishizu, and Odion’s mom)

Rafael’s mom (Unnamed)/Guardian Eatos

Iona (Dartz’s wife, Chris’ mom)

Priest Seto’s mom (Unnamed)

GX

Mrs. O’Brien (Axel’s mom)

Mrs. Garam (Adrian’s mom)

5Ds

Aporia’s mother (Unnamed)

Atsuko (Lazar’s wife)

Lazar’s mother (Unnamed)

Mrs. Leblanc (Sherry’s mom)

Martha (Yusei, Jack, and Crow’s adoptive mom)

Mrs. Fudo (Yusei’s birth mom)

Setsuko Izayoi (Akiza’s mom)

Zexal

Mrs. Meadows/Mrs. Mizuki (Tori’s mom)

Mrs. Francis/Mrs. Todoroki (Caswell’s mom)

Tetsumi Stone/Tetsumi Takeda (Bronk’s mom)

Mirai Tsukumo (Yuma’s mom)

Mrs. Kastle/Mrs. Kamishiro (Shark and Rio’s mom)

Vector’s mom (Unnamed)

Mrs. Andrews/Mrs. Okudaira (Fuya’s mom)

Arc-V

Henrietta Akaba/Himika Akaba (Reiji’s mom)

Mrs. Pepper/Maiko Mokota (Michio’s mom)

Yoko Sakaki (Yuya’s mom)

Mrs. Ayukawa (Ayu’s mom)

And that wraps up all the milfs! Like I said, if there’s someone I missed (or an honorary milf you’d like to nominate for the competition), feel free to send them in! I’ll be turning on submissions just for this after I make this post. Be sure to reblog this if you plan on voting so we can get a good number of participants in to make the competition more fierce!

Mm

Mmmmm

Milf competition

[dxsole]

forget zodiac signs, what fucking jellycat plushie do ur muses own??

//very long post below :’3 WARNING: uh it’s all very adorable,,,i’m cryin’

Didi - Curvie Elephant

Lázaro - Silly Succulent Cactus

Jasper - Jasper Rabbit

85 - Birdling Puffin

Angelo - Toothy Rat

Angus - Wilf Wolf

Anton - Bashful Red Dragon

Ayumu - Nessie

Beatrix - Luda Monster

Buck - Riverside Rambler Fox

Calisto - Paris Panther

Chet - Woody Bear

Debbie - Kitten Caboodle

Donny - Bo Bigfoot

Dude - Bashful Raccoon

Evgeni - Riverside Rambler Hedgehog

Flo - Amuseable Chili

Freida - Flossie Unicorn

Gideon/Gyles - Sacha Snow Tiger

Hank - Bewitching Bat

Harrison - Cordy Roy Lion

Hugo - Hibernating Mouse

Iona - Apollo Owl

Kidd - Sherri Sheep

Knox - Colin Chameleon

Lawrence - Gorka Gecko

Leslie - Happy Nutmeg Hamster

Lochlan - Henry Hound

Malachi - Cream Chicken

Missy - Flossie Pony

Nadia - Amuseable Cloud

Norm - Cozy Crew Lobster

Opaline - Silly Succulent Jade

Pastor - Bashful Pug

Penjani - Wiley Croc

Quincy - Bon Bon Monkey

Remington - Amuseable Juice Detox

Setau - Christopher Caterpillar

Shuff - Bashful Bee

Sloan - Suedetta Badger 

Thoth - Belby Toucan

Truman - Seymour Bear

Vicente - Cushy Fox

Viola - Amore Cat Cream

Walter - Percy Penguin

Wendi - Kara Kangaroo

Whip - Riverside Rambler Badger

Yasmin - Doopity Pig

Yorick - Louie Lion

Zeynep - Amuseable Toadstool

[serpentcast]

On this week's episode, we’re discussing soulmates and soul bonds! Everyone have your assigned buddy? Remember to hold hands so nobody gets lost! The tentpoles for this episode are Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert, Fated by maydei, and “Deconstruct” by flowercity.

 What We’re Into Lately

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley “Of Dragons, Feasts, and Murders” by Aliette de Bodard Lady Sherlock series by Sherry Thomas A Study in Scarlet Women by Sherry Thomas Realm of Ash by Tasha Suri The Terror Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm The Balance arc of The Adventure Zone The Adventure Zone graphic novel series The Old Guard

 Other Stuff We Mentioned

Hanahaki Disease The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley Dominions of the Fallen trilogy by Aliette de Bodard Sherlock Holmes stories by Arthur Conan Doyle Empire of Sand by Tasha Suri Good Omens television series Lucifer television series Consolation Songs by Iona Datt Sharma et. al Uncanny magazine saltwashed by Jennifer Mace Pon farr Star Trek T’hy’la The Untamed The Witcher Heaving Bosoms Podcast Ice Planet Barbarians series Yuri!!! On Ice Loveless Pacific Rim Red String of Fate Skip Beat! by Yoshiki Nakamura Haikyū!! by Haruichi Furudate “five snapped heartstrings” by welcometothehumanrace ‘Fan, Sword and Flame’ by TentacleBubbles The Fast and the Furious “Victory Lane” by astolat The First Cow

 For Next Time

The Witcher

 Transcription

The transcript for this episode is available here. A thousand thank-yous to our incredible team of scribes!

[sassysnowglobe]

Pieces’ drunken life update

So, I haven’t used this blog in forever, but I’m drunk and feeling soft and this always used to sort of be like my diary and I’d like to document a LITTLE of what I’ve been up to these past few years:

1. I moved to Bristol for my MSc. degree. I can’t recall if I left Tumblr before or after that happened, but it happened. I did 2 internships there, and the first was amazing and the second one was... Meh. But I joined cheerleading, and Natasha and Becky truly made that year there unforgettable and I love and miss them dearly.

2. I went to New York twice, have now seen SNL twice, and I still adore Carol and Ashley to bits. I cannot wait to see them again as we’re all saving up for when KWiig inevitably hosts again. It’s gonna be BEAUTIFUL.

3. Also heckin shoutout to Janet for hanging with me in NYC last time I went, and to all the SNL pals I hung out with, because y’all are not just the bees knees but the whole entire bee.

4. I moved to Edinburgh. This has been a lot more stressful, and my PhD has truly been taking it out on me mentally. But this stems from underlying issues and I made the executive decision last week to go back into therapy to work on this. I refuse to let my mental disabilities hold me back. I know I can do this, I know I can get through this programme, I’ve gotten through harder things in the past and I refuse to let this best me. I’ve been blessed with the most understanding and patient supervisor, and I understand how lucky I am with that, and I refuse to let him down even more.

5. I got into the Good Omens fandom, and while some of it has been a trash heap and a shit show, I’ve made friends and had experiences that will last me a lifetime. These people have become so important to me; Marta and Row, Freddie, Jenna and Ciara, Myra, Cassy... The list goes on. It’s even rekindled relationships with friends I’d lost touch with, like Sherry, who spent the weekend at mine a few months back and whom I still adore to bits. I can’t express how important these people have become to me, and even if we do fall out or lose touch over the years, know I’ll never forget you.

6. Speaking of people Im losing touch/getting back in touch with.. Regina and Kenzi and Kayleigh. I haven’t spoken to either of these girls nearly as often as I’d want, for numerous reasons, but they’re all still so important to me and always will be. They’ve seen me through the worst moments in my life and through some of my best, and I will forever be grateful for everything.

7. And of course the pals I made and got closer with since I moved to Edinburgh. Shannon, Seoras, Iona, and even Jesse; without you guys loneliness and depression would have undoubtedly consumed me before I even got properly started here, so I want to thank you so much for taking me, a mediocre loser, under your wing. I can’t wait to see what the future brings.

And I think these were the main updates in my life. I’ve been through some shit. I moved around a LOT, but I just finally got properly settled in my new place, with my own furniture, and I’ve never felt more like an adult. I’ve got a lot of learning and growing to do, and I know that overall, I’m still not in a good place right now. But tonight has been the first time in a while I felt like things will actually be okay again, and I wanted to document that.

See y’all on the flip.

XOXOXO Liz, also (and always) known to a select few as Pieces

[atlanticcanada]

2020 Nova Scotia municipal election results roll in

With polls closing on Saturday evening for Nova Scotia's 2020 municipal election, votes are being counted and winners are being announced. CTV Atlantic will update this article as new results are announced.

Cape Breton Regional Municipality

Mayor

Chris Abbass

Cecil Clarke

Kevin MacEachern

Archie MacKinnon

Amanda McDougall (Elected)

John Strasser

For the Cape Breton Regional Municipality, Amanda Mcdougall is the new mayor. Mcdougall won with a vote count of 24,319. Incumbent Cecil Clarke came in second with 20,789 votes. Mcdougall becomes the first female mayor of CBRM.

Councillors

District 1

Andrew Doyle

Danny Laffin

Gordon MacDonald (Elected)

Daniel Pero

Shara Vickers

District 2

Jim Dunphy

Earlene MacMullin (Elected)

District 3

Cyril MacDonald (Elected)

Esmond Marshall

Glen Murrant

John Whalley

District 4

Steve Gillespie (Elected)

Yianni Harbis

Donalda Johnson

District 5

Christina Joe

Nigel Kearns

Shawn Lesnick

Eldon MacDonald (Elected)

Scott MacQuarrie

District 6

Barbara Beaton

Keith MacDonald

Glenn Paruch (Elected)

Todd Riley

Joe Ward

District 7   

Ivan Doncaster

Kevin Hardy

Steve Parsons (Elected)

Adam Young

District 8

James Edwards (Elected)

Tracey Hilliard

Diane MacKinnon-Furlong

District 9

Steven James MacNeil

Clarence Routledge

Kenny Tracey (Elected)

District 10

Darren Bruckschwaiger (Elected)

Matthew Boyd

District 11

Dale Cadden

Jennifer Heffernan

Jeff McNeil

Johnny Miles

Arnie Nason

Chuck Ogley

Darren O'Quinn (Elected)

Laura Scheller Stanford

District 12

Trevor Allen

Gary Borden

Donald Campbell

Lorne Green (Elected)

Kim Sheppard

  Halifax Regional Municipality

Mayor

Mayor Mike Savage (Projected winner)

Max Taylor

Matt Whitman

Councillors

District 1 (Waverley - Fall River - Musquodoboit Valley)

Cathy Deagle Gammon (Projected winner)

Stephen Kamperman

Steve Streatch

Arthur Wamback

District 2 (Preston - Chezzetcook - Eastern Shore)

David Boyd

David Hendsbee (Projected winner)

Nicole Johnson

Tim Milligan

District 3 (Dartmouth South - Eastern Passage)

Vishal Bhardwaj

Clinton Desveaux

Lloyd Jackson

Becky Kent (Projected winner)

George Mbamalu

District 4 (Cole Harbour - Westphal)

Ryan Burris

Marisa DeMarco

Kevin Foran

Darryl Johnson

Jerome Lagmay

Jamie MacNeil

Tania Meloni

Chris Mont

Trish Purdy (Projected winner)

Jessica Quillan

John Stewart

Caroline Williston

District 5 (Dartmouth Centre)

Sam Austin (Projected winner)

Mitch McIntyre

District 6 (Harbourview - Burnside - Dartmouth East)

Douglas Day

Tony Mancini (Projected winner)

Ibrahim Manna

District 7 (Halifax South Downtown)

Richard Arundel-Evans

Waye Mason (Projected winner)

Jen Powley

Craig Roy

District 8 (Halifax Peninsula North)

Virginia Hinch

Dylan Kennedy

Lindell Smith (Projected winner)

District 9 (Halifax West Armdale)

Bill Carr

Shaun Clark

Shawn Cleary (Projected winner)

Stephen Foster

Gerry Lonergan

District 10 (Halifax - Bedford Basin West)

Andrew Curran

Mohammad Ehsan

Renee Field

Sherry Hassanali

Christopher Hurry

Debbie MacKinnon

Kathryn Morse (Projected winner)

Kyle Morton

District 11 (Spryfield - Sambro Loop - Prospect Road)

Stephen Chafe

Matthew Conrad

Bruce Cooke

Patty Cuttell (Leading as of 10:37 p.m.)

Bruce Holland

Kristen Hollery

Jim Hoskins

Ambroise Matwawana

Lisa Mullin

Hannah Munday

Dawn Edith Penney

Pete Rose

In district 11, the election is too close to call. According to Halifax's unnoffical results, as of Sunday morning, Patty Cuttell lead the race with 1,634 votes; however Bruce Holland trailed behind with 1,605 votes.

District 12 (Timberlea - Beechville - Clayton Park - Wedgewood)

John Bignell

Eric Jury

Iona Stoddard (Projected winner)

Richard Zurawski

District 13 (Hammonds Plains - St. Margarets)

Tom Arnold

Derek Bellemore

Tim Elms

Robert Holden

Nick Horne

Darrell Jessome

Pam Lovelace (Projected winner)

Iain Taylor

Harry Ward

District 14 (Middle/Upper Sackville - Beaver Bank - Lucasville)

Lisa Blackburn (Projected winner)

Greg Frampton

District 15 (Lower Sackville)

Mary Lou LeRoy

Anthony Mrkonjic

Jay Aaron Roy

Paul Russell (Projected winner)

David Schofield

District 16 (Bedford - Wentworth)

Tim Outhit (Acclaimed)

  Town of Amherst

Mayor

Ed Childs

David Kogon (elected)

Vaughn Martine

Councillors

George Baker (Elected)

Vince Byrne

Sheila Christie (Elected)

Hal Davidson (Elected)

Lisa Emery (Elected)

Paul "Skippy" Farrow

Dale Fawthrop (Elected)

Darrell Jones

Leon Landry (Elected)

Wayne "Butch" Mackenzie

Roy T. Pettigrew

Terry Rhindress

  Town of Yarmouth

Mayor

Charles Crosby

Gregory Doucette

Pamela Mood (Elected)

Angie Romard

Councillors

Don Berry

Steven Berry (Elected)

Byron Boudreau

Timothy Clayton

Wade Cleveland (Elected)

Gil Dares (Elected)

Brandan Gates

Heather Hatfield (Elected)

Clifford Hood

Mark Hubbard

Derek Lesser (Elected)

Daniel MacIsaac

Neil Mackenzie

Sean MacLellan

Jim MacLeod (Elected)

James Ogden

  Truro

Mayor

W.R. “Bill: Mills (Elected)

Terry Baillie

Councillors

Ward 1

Wayne Talbot (Elected)

Alison Graham-Fulmore (Elected)

Gregor Archibald

Cheryl Fritz

Ward 2

Jim Flemming (Elected)

Bill Thomas (Elected)

Terry Matheson

Jessica Frenette

Vince Roberts

Ward 3

Cathy Hinton (Elected)

Juliana Barnard (Elected)

Danny Joseph

District of Lunenburg

  Mayor

Carolyn Bolivar-Getson (Elected)

Caleb Wheeldon

Councillors

District 1

Leitha Haysom (Acclaimed)

District 2

Martin E. Bell (Elected)

Morgen Reinhardt

District 3

Lee E. Nauss

Wendy Oickle (Elected)

David Sutherland

District 4

Pam Hubley (Elected)

Bud Webster

District 5

Cathy Moore (Acclaimed)

District 6

Claudette Garland

Sandra Statton (Elected)

District 7

Wade S. Carver

Michelle Greek (Elected)

District 8

Kacy DeLong (Acclaimed)

District 9

Frank Fawson

Reid A. Whynot (Elected)

District 10

Josh Healey

Chasidy Veinott (Elected)

Ann Westhave

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/3lYeVcj

[aelorellevallancourt]

In-depth Character Guide (Aelorelle Vallancourt)

Appearance: ► Gender: Female ► Race: Half Hyur (Midlander) | Half Elezen (|Ishgardian} ► Height: 5 fulms, 7 ilms ► Eye Color: Lilac ► Hair Color: White, silvered in dimmer lighting. The Facts: ► Name Day: (She doesn't tell anyone!) ► Occupation: Dragon's Crown Tavern Proprietress, Medicinal Healer, Conjurer, ► Allegiance: Twin Adders, Gridania, Eorzean Alliance ► Sexual identification: Bisexual ► Romantic identification: Biromantic ► Alignment: Chaotic Good ► Criminal History: Petty theft as a teen.  ► Relationship Status: In a monogamous relationship with Alrik Dotharl. Favorites: ► Favorite food: Marinated aldgoat steak and herb-roasted, cubed popotoes. ► Favorite drink (Alcoholic): Plum Wine or Honey Whiskey! ► Favorite drink (Non-Alcoholic): Coconut Juice ► Favorite artist: Isolde Grey ► Favorite scents: Morning dew, sautéed garlic, freshly brewed coffee, pumpkin spice, pine, chocolate, citrus, lavendar, cooking herbs. ► Favorite person: The obvious choice would be Alrik Dotharl, but her circle of friends is dear enough that (as cliche as it sounds) she can't narrow down one favorite. Extras: Ten facts: ⚫ Aelorelle believes there is energy to be used in the wake of storms, often setting a jar out to collect the rain waters of a passing tempest. ⚫ Despite being written into the Vallancourt family on the graces and clout of her aunt, Aelorelle is not considered one of the peerage of Ishgard--or even a citizen. However, her mannerly comportment and graces sway some individuals to address her as "Lady Vallancourt" nevertheless. ⚫ Aelorelle keeps her hair lengthy as it is to commemorate her passed mother. She may trim split ends away now and again, but otherwise she does not shorten its length noticeably. When others play with it (with her permission) whether to braid or even run their fingers through, it is a pleasant experience. ⚫ Though there have been exceptions to the rule, largely, Aelorelle is unnerved in the presence of Elezen. The more kind and polite ones abate her discontent. ⚫ Aelorelle has an addictive streak that is all but muted. Constantly, she seeks methods to instill an adrenaline rush or questionable substances for a brief "feel good." These habits are practiced with discretion, but said discretion can become sloppy if she's in higher periods of stress and emotional instability. She will lie to acquire what she wants, or to keep others out of her business. ⚫ Aelorelle's preferred aesthetic mimics that of the baroque period, and whilst soft-hued colors favor her complexion and white hair, her room itself is built with dramatic color contrasts and gaudy decor. It does not at all fit the gritty, rustic interior of the tavern she owns. ⚫ Aelorelle has been called 'fanciful' for her wardrobe choices where approriate. She prefers hugging dresses and a string of silver about her neck with opals at her fingers. Unexpected of the woman operating the Dragon's Crown, but the eye-drawing manner in which she dresses herself for the occasion is undisputed. ⚫ Sometimes she will lay awake at night with Alrik dozing off beside her. With all of the horrors they've witnessed, she wants to make sure he sleeps peacefully. She will do this for hours, nestled beside him, hoping he sleeps throughout the night. ⚫ When Aelorelle cannot sleep, she goes and sits at the Crown's bar and pours herself and an unseen guest glasses of Sherry, hoping they eventually show. ⚫ Aelorelle went on a journey alone across Eorzea to find her younger sister. She still has not been found, a pain that continues wracking Aelorelle with guilt. She is slowly coming to accept that she might be dead. They like: - Opals upon opals. Her jewelry boxes are brimming with opal rings, pendants, and earrings. - Antiques and older trinkets. She has a collection of aged perfume bottles, books, and other items found or gifted throughout her travels. - Sex, of which she is shameless to admit. - 'Girl Time.' There is nothing quite like the unwinding of spending the day or evening with your closest lady friends. Tea is usually how she goes about it! - Doman cuisine. Treat her to a night of it and she just might love you forever. They dislike: - Needless violence, slaughter. - Classists, largely Ishgardian ones. - Criticisms of her romantic relationship. - Large, dark bodies of water. As a child she had a recurring dream of being swallowed into a murky lake as black as ink, so much so that she stopped her midnight swims. It has impressed a fear of drowning and unclear waters on her that carried well into adulthood. - The abusingly affluent, social-climbers. While she does not harp on those who want to improve their quality of living, she considers herself an opponent to the neglectful in power or individuals who work towards that goal. She acts in quiet to dissuade the growing influence of those who would oppose those beneath them if they grasped authority. Good traits: ► (Organizer) - Aelorelle actually has a fairly decorated journal that serves as her agenda. She records the dates of events and social affairs across Eorzea, meetings, and other dates of note. Additionally, the expenses of Crown's upkeep and the subsistence of her employees are written in several ledgers. ► (Authenticity) - While many have long suspected her an ostensibly kind woman, the entrepreneur believes the trait's scarcity is reason enough to be true of it. To know her friendship is to know that while she can be a busy woman, she does keep their well-being in mind. Though she will be polite to someone, if she doesn't like them, she will not pretend otherwise. ► (Well-Mannered) - Despite a simple and indigent childhood, experiences and individuals throughout her life have shaped her into a cultured woman, and people have taken to addressing her as "Lady Vallancourt." Remarked for her poise and courtesies, Aelorelle is mindful of how she presents herself. ► (Generosity) - Wounded adventurers and monster-hunters commonly drag themselves to the Crown, aware that its proprietress will afford them a place in the newly built Infirmary. Refugees whether from broken homes or conflict are entreated to warm meals and a shelter. Symbolic presents are gifted to friends or hopeful ones. ► (Loving) - Aelorelle wears her heart on her sleeve, displaying affection in words or gestures to those dearest. It has been said that to know her love, whether as friend or lover, is to know one truly unconditional. Bad traits - (Vengeful) - As she repays kindness, she will repay its opposite. Whether insulted or wounded Aelorelle puts much energy to justice for it--but this justice is self-designed. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. So long as the other party loses something. - (Hedonist) - Addicted to several pleasures, more important events will sometimes be set aside for her to indulge herself. If her urges aren't met soon enough, she becomes impulsive and temperamental. - (Impulsive) - As mentioned above, she can make large decisions on a whim if her first thoughts deem them right. It has landed her in trouble several times, thus far, not necessarily the Crown... - (Self-Sabotage) - Used to losing people, Aelorelle would rather sever relationships on her own terms than allow the other person to hold it over her. - (Coping Mechanisms) - Whether lavish food, spending, or sex, Aelorelle indulges in these to dull pain, even though she knows it's only worsened later on. Fears: - The Void - Mutilation - Loss of loved ones - Torture - Drowning Tagged by: @twelvesavethequeen @sigridderioslainn @alred-briarthorne @shayla-greylance @iona-edelweiss @farm-boy-ffxiv @redmatches @sarantsatsrdotharl @littletattooist @isoldegreyffxiv @sagolii-snowflake Tagging: I believe everyone has done this already! However, if you haven't, consider yourself tagged and consider yourself tagged by me!

[psychlowdown]

Scary Sherry Bianca's Toast?

Correct!! 

Its actual location is the Iona Building at the University of British Columbia.

Someone thought it was from Devil in the Details, which was also filmed on the UBC campus, so the buildings may have looked familiar, but the Iona Building wasn’t in that one.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: TWIN PEAKS - THE RETURN

The awful wigs you like are going to come back in style this summer! Twin Peaks, land of mighty good coffee and awful awful wigs are back, and with them some new bad wigs that we waited 25 years for! 

As there are 18 episodes, I will be updating this post as new episodes air (and adjusting if the show’s wigs wurq as a whole or not). Now let’s journey back to the Black Lodge and discuss:

EPISODE 1 

Good Dale is still stuck in the Black Lodge, while Bad Dale is driving a fancy car, hanging with teenage randos, and having a party in the front (and back!) with the worst male wig this side of John Travolta’s everyday life. 

This wig is the kind of thing you’d pick up at Ricky’s to be a shaggy vampire for Halloween. OOF. The only thing more disturbing than the wig, is of course Special Agent Dale Cooper’s crispy tan which is the second most disturbing tan by an evil dude on tv (Trump's still #1). 

However, Bad Dale’s new life did lead us to the clear star of the show: BEULLA! Glamour, fashion, and beauty wrapped into one. 

Elsewhere in non-wig storylines, some random teenager in NYC is getting it on with Grace from The Nanny and getting mauled to death by glass box ghosts (YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DO, IDIOT!), some nosy neighbor in South Dakota is implicating Matthew Lillard in a librarian murder, Ashley Judd is helping Tony from West Side Story run the Great Northern and Dr. Jacoby is serving double sunglass reveals while getting some sweet new shovels. Obvs? Meanwhile, the Log Lady, now the victim of female hair loss, decides to get on the horn about Dale Cooper. I have to say, this might be the one wig that wurqs in the episode and it’s not technically a wig but a baldcap with some wisps on it. Still, carry on Log Lady - please never change no matter how much hair you lose. Your Sally Jessy Raphael eyewear is still everything. 

The recipient of the Log Lady’s call is none other than Hawk, the most credible member of the Twin Peak’s sheriff service. Michael Horse’s glorious locks are obviously not a wig but let us all luxuriate in them regardless. And let us NOT miss Michael Ontkean who showed his homophobic truth by trying to block his gay movie Making Love from being a part of the documentary masterpiece The Celluloid Closet. SASHAY AWAY FOREVER!

EPISODE 2

This episode doesn’t offer us much more in the way of wigs, but we do get far more intimate with Bad Dale’s awful wig.

This look is decidedly tan Glenn Danzig all the way.

The most upsetting reveal about this wig is that it has a half ponytail involved. NO THANK YOU.

Back in the Black Lodge, Good Dale meets up with old friends Leland, Mike, and Laura Palmer herself - none of which are wearing wigs and none of which seem to have aged at all (though Laura is moonlighting as a lamp so maybe that’s why). Good Dale also meets up with a wise Tim Burton tree who explains that Bad Dale has to come back to the Black Lodge in order for Good Dale to leave. Seems legit, but unfortunately Bad Dale is busy murdering his girlfriend. 

Sorry, gurl. 

We end the episode at the roadhouse where an ubercool indie band is playing for some reason. The lead singer has a pretty wiggy look but all signs point to a dye job. 

We also see the triumphant return of Sherry, whose (wigless) salty mom posse involves none other than Gia Carides, aka LIZ EFFING HOLT FROM STRICTLY BALLROOM! YAYS! CAN I DRINK WITH YOU GUYS?

EPISODE 3

We begin with Good Dale shape shifting through space, meeting a nice lady with no eyes who falls into the void and another lady who points us in the direction of a steampunk electrical plug to the outside world. But do we want to go out there?

We soon discover that the “real world” involves another Cooper doppelganger - Nevada’s own Dougie - who wears a mustard-colored blazer, knows a nice prostitute, vomits creamed corn, and has a terrible wig.

Seriously, I don’t know if the wig budget on this show was given to eye-covering prosthetics or what but clearly they skimped on the wigs. Just seriously depressing stuff - I’ve seen more believably realistic wigs in haunted houses. Speaking of haunted houses, Dougie gets whisked into the Black Lodge and implodes into a sea of black smoke (I finally understand Lost?) Regardless, bye bye, terrible wig! 

Elsewhere, Bad Dale and his bad wig are trying not to barf their way back to the Black Lodge while living through the worst Lincoln commercial ever. It’s unclear where Bad Dale ended up, but Good Dale shapeshifts his way back into Dougie’s life - for better or worse?

Finally, Hawk gives us the best “do not disturb” sign ever (donut disturb 4evr) while he and his luscious locks try to run the Twin Peaks sheriff’s department basically with absolutely no help from anyone else. Ok maybe the donuts helped.

EPISODE 4

Good Dale Cooper is living his life as Dougie Jones, whose son is future/current(?) cult leader, Sonny Jim Jones. Cooper is learning to do everything again, from dressing himself to drinking coffee while assisted by frazzled wife, Naomi Watts. Meanwhile, Bad Dale Cooper has been discovered covered in creamed corn in South Dakota and his old boss, Gordon Cole (as played by David Lynch) has to look into the matter, but not without an assist from everyone’s favorite trans FBI agent, Denise Bryson.

Denise, like a fine wine, has aged well. As strong and confident as ever, and looking damn fierce.

Compared to the wig David Duchovny wore in the original series, this wig is a serious upgrade. Defrizzed and oh so quaffed, it’s a dignified thing of beauty.

We do get into a grey area here, wig-wise, however. It has been my intent on this blog to never review wigs that we know as an audience to be wigs (thus why I sadly never review RuPaul’s Drag Race).  Denise’s wig in the original series was definitely a wig within the narrative of the show, since Denise (nee Dennis) had only recently come to the conclusion that he was trans and started donning a wig and dressing as a woman.

25 years later, who is to say if Denise is wearing a wig or if we are to believe that this is supposed to be her own hair? Far be it for us to tell Denise what to do with her coiffure so it becomes difficult to judge this as a wig or not. If we are supposed to believe it is a wig, then yes - it’s a good wig within the narrative! If we are supposed to believe it is hair...well it’s not perfect. It certainly looks like a wig, albeit a good wig. As I’ve said time and time again, only if a wig looks like real hair does it truly wurq.

Still, as a character, Denise WURQS so amen to her regardless.

And can I get an amen for Wally Brando? Wigless though he may be, he is a the only possible child of Andy and Lucy. May your shadow always be with us. 

EPISODE 5

We begin this episode as Good Dale Cooper tries to navigate the world in the body of Dougie Jones. For some reason, no one is bothered by the fact that Dougie is basically a walking zombie, from his frazzled wife to all of his coworkers.

Just a guy super stoked for coffee with little ability to function in society - nothing to see here!

Back in Twin Peaks, a wigless Shelly and Norma are looking FINE AS HELL and seem to not have aged a day.

Also Shelly’s daughter (perfectly cast as Amanda Seyfried) has an asshole boyfriend (as played by the asshole brother from Get Out, who is really making a name for himself in the world of asshole characters). 

Oh and obviously, Dr. Jacoby runs an extreme lefty webseries out of his cabin, and whose #1 fan is obviously Nadine:

Who is still lookin’ like the spectacular nutbar we all love.

The only wig of the week is the nightmare on top of Bad Dale’s head. Even behind bars, this wig is wreaking havoc much in the way Bad Dale is hisself! Nope.

EPISODE 6

Most of this episode concerns itself with the increasingly poor decisions of Dougie Jones and with every misadventure, I just long for Good Dale Cooper to wake the hell up! We are also introduced to a slew of new characters. Twin Peaks is truly beginning to get as sweaty with characters as Game of Thrones and winter is friggin’ coming. 

We meet Bathazar Getty, whose early career was spent being an off-brand Liev Schreiber and who has somehow morphed into an off-brand Henry Rollins. He played some coin magic on off-brand young Nicolas Cage (who is in a dead heat for worst Twin Peaks character with Deputy Chad). 

We also revisit our favorite trailer park manager, Harry Dean Stanton, who is an ageless angel.

The only wig this week comes in the form of a lounge lizard played by none other than Laura Dern. 

We are only given one scene with this wig so I don’t have the information necessary to review it properly. In other words - if this wig is supposed to be real hair, it is obviously terrible. But if it is supposed to be a wig as I suspect since David Lynch lounge lizards are usually wig-wearers (see: Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet), then whatever - you do you, Laura Dern! 

(And you always do.)

EPISODE 7

Ugh, wake up Good Dale Cooper! The boring misadventures of Dougie Jones continue in this episode, though he does disarm a little person assassin “like a cobra” so I guess this is progress.

Meanwhile, Gordon Cole visits Diane and we don’t get much more information about her or her wig. Though Diane in general is a mystery. Throughout the original series, she was a faceless secretary that Dale sent daily messages to. Now, whether or not she is trying to pass this platinum wig off as real hair remains the #1 mystery of Twin Peaks. But I’m guessing it’s a wig (within the narrative of Twin Peaks) so whatever. It’s a bad wig allowed to be bad. 

Though now that we have seen her retro cool apartment, I think I know Diane’s backstory:

She’s obviously a latter-day Iona (from Pretty in Pink) who, rather than dating a yuppie (yuck!) decides to take a secretarial job for the FBI while the record store industry dwindled in the early 90s, stopped hanging out exclusively with teenagers, and started calling herself Diane. MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 

Both chicks have an affinity for platinum wigs, apartments with Atomic/kitschy details, and DRAMA.  Well that’s one mystery solved! You’re welcome, internet. #prettyinpeaks  

Anyhoo, Diane (nee Iona) visits Bad Dale in the clink and it was a regular wigout party of nonsense.

I feel like when two bad wigs meet like this, something meaningful should happen, like the Black Lodge imploding or getting to spend more than 5 minutes with any of the original characters.

Instead, we are gifted like 20 minutes of Ashley Judd (bless her, but STILL) following a mysterious sound around the Great Northern. And seeing the roadhouse being swept for what must have been 3 hours. 

We end with Bad Dale getting sprung from the clink by uttering the magic word: STRAWBERRY! Not to be confused with Carol Channing’s magic word, RASPBERRY. Watch out, world: Bad Dale and his bad wig are on the loose!

EPISODE 8

We have so many questions going into this episode, but before any of them can be answered, we have to hear from THE Nine in Nails! The dream of the nineties is alive in Twin Peaks, and this part was a damn nightmare. NEXT!

Bad Dale Cooper, fresh from being sprung from jail, gets shot down by his partner in crime. Is this the last we will FINALLY see of him and his horrendous wig? Probably not, because some ash covered garbage people come over and seem to revive them. Who are these ashy garbage dudes? For answers, we (OBVIOUSLY) travel to B&W New Mexico in 1945.

There, an atomic bomb gives life to these soot monsters, a bug/frog combo, and, of course, BOB! 

Meanwhile, in what might (?) be the same steampunk universe where that eyeless lady that Good Cooper encountered that eyeless chick back in Episode 3, our favorite friendly giant and some chick with some serious costume jewelry and eyebrow tweezers watch these ashy garbage dudes and then are gifted a golden blob with the face of Laura Palmer on it.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! J/k j/k I have no idea what is happening. On the wig front, I will say that costume jewelry eyebrow tweezer lady has a pretty sweet finger curl wig. 

Fast forwarding to New Mexico in 1956, we meet a young couple who deliver some incredibly stilted dialogue at one another. Their costumes also suggest a high school play that is set in the 1950s but they only go shopping for costumes at the GAP. We’ve all been there. Doesn’t wurq. Also, I’m not sure what pincurl nonsense is happening on this chick’s head but it is neither historically accurate or attractive. NOPE.

Anyway, ash zombie #1 decides to go on a quest for a cigarette light, which obviously turns into a bloodbath.

I will say this much: this terrible 50s wig deserved to GO. All hail ash zombies! 

EPISODE 9

Bad Dale Cooper lives! All hail ash zombies?? I don’t know if it’s the zombie makeover or what but this is the BEST this wig has every looked. 

Sadly, this is short-lived as Bad Dale Cooper meets up with his accomplices/Academy Award Nominated Actors Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh and this terrible wig gets cleaned up and its half pony tale back and it looks awful again. UGH. Side note: Tim Roth’s denim jacket with the cut off arms IS THE LEWK. 

Back in Twin Peaks, Lucy and Andy are chair shopping (#TeamBeigeChair) and the sheriff A-team (SCREW YOU AND YOUR LUNCH, CHAD!!!) are doing some detecting. They pay Bobby’s mom a visit, where she reveals a super cool chair hiding place (maybe get this chair, Lucy and Andy?) and a secret message from beyond. Dun dun dun! 

And as always, Diane and her Pretty in Pink Iona wig are KILLING IT as always in fashion and correct opinions. It still remains a supreme mystery as to if Diane is trying to pass this off as real hair, but regardless: let the lady smoke. She’s been through enough! It IS a f*cking morgue! 

In the end, we meet some teenage heroin addicts/vampires(?) with awful hair which is likely just awful hair and not wigs. They also have serious skin ailments that I never want to see again. Let’s just maybe never see them again. Please?

EPISODE 10

We are officially more than halfway through this series and no closer to getting rid of Dougie Jones in favor of Good Dale Cooper. Wake the hell up, Coop! (Tho dang, you’re looking good - and Janey E agrees!) Otherwise, this episode is pretty much all about domestic abuse and its witnesses. Seen here: a wigless Harry Dean Stanton having some guitar “me” time which was ruined by Shelly’s daughter and her terrible boyfriend...

Can you guys please be quiet so HDS can play his damn guitar in peace?!?! Side note: domestic abuse begets domestic abuse: does this remind anyone of Shelly and Leo?

But the scumbag of the week (and the millennium?) definitely goes to Richard Horne. Not to be outdone by hit-and-run child murder, this week he gave us trailer park murder and familial abuse/robbery all while the Teddy Ruxpin of nightmares above must bear (get it?) witness. Oh and yes - we see what you did there with that glowing orb head, David Lynch.

Of course, scumbags love company and OF COURSE Richard Horne is in cahooks with Deputy Scumbag, Chad, who he asks to intercept his trailer park murder victim’s blackmail letter. WE HATE YOU CHAD. Luckily, Lucy is totally on to Chad. #TeamBeigeChair4Ever

Back in Vegas (UGH), Tom Sizemore is setting Dougie up with the help of these wigless, flaky cocktail waitresses. The fact that these three didn’t somehow break into song sorta surprised me. 

The mazel of the week def goes to Nadine, who finally has her silent drape empire in the form of her storefront, RUN SILENT RUN DRAPES. Way to make your lifegoals a reality, gurlfriend! She’s also obsessed with Dr. Jacoby’s vid-blog, but obvs.

We also get some more news from the Log Lady - Laura Palmer is the ONE! Whatever that means? It has been brought to my attention that my previous assessment of this being a good wig may be false - the actress who portrayed her, Catharine E. Coulson, died of cancer shortly after reprising this role. So this is likely her actual hair. I stand corrected! Just goes to show you that just when you think you’ve found a good Twin Peaks wig - it turns out to be real hair. Nothing is as it seems in Twin Peaks but we can always count on the continuity of bad wigs? With this new information - this episode is entirely wigless! Why am I even writing this?!?!

Maybe just to rejoice in the epic performance of Rebekah del Rio (no relation to Bianca, sadly) who we all know and love from Mullholland Drive. Bitch is in straight up Black Lodge cosplay and it WURQS.

EPISODE 11

The more we watch this show, the fewer and fewer wigs we seem to get. And the more we realize we are just stuck with Dougie Jones. Wake up, Good Coops!

Anyway, this week the domestic violence from last week’s episode got particularly EXTRA when Amanda Seyfried decided to amp her Lifetime Movie life up to 11 and get a gun, demand her mom come over with her car, take the car, almost run her mom over, and go shoot at her two-timing, d-bag of a husband. I seriously think I saw this movie starring Tori Spelling a few different times on Lifetime but David Lynch makes it SO MUCH MORE ARTY.

Great hiding place, you guys! Also, why yes that IS GERSTEN HAYWARD, aka Lara Flynn Boyle’s lil sis who is great at piano! 

This did lead to a pretty sweet family reunion at the RR though seriously, Bobby, just arrest your daughter’s husband already.

This reunion was briefly interrupted by coin enthusiast/fake Henry Rollins, Balthazar Getty who OF COURSE is going out with Shelly. You make bad dude choices, Shelly! Why am I suddenly rooting for Bobby?!?!

Oh and also there was a sudden diner shootout followed by passenger seat exorcism, because: Twin Peaks.

The only wig of the week was brought to us by pillar of effervescence, Diane. The jury is still out (and will forever be out?!) on if she is trying to pass this wig off as real hair, but I give up: you just do you, Diane.

And also please continue to sit on stools while the rest of the world sits on chairs. Is that thing from Blaine? Anyway, you’ll always be on a pedestal to us. 

After an some map detective work from Hawk and another call from the Log Lady, an otherworldly vortex sighting, and an unfortunate Matthew Lillard cranial injury, we end the episode in the weirdest Se7en parody ever but hey: there’s always room for cherry pie?

Oh, and god bless you and your fabulous makeover, random casino garbagelady! You look so sparkly! 

EPISODE 12

Why am I still updating this blog post? Why am I still watching this show? Why is it taking everyone five extra minutes to say what they need to say and why am I falling asleep? These are all questions I had during this episode. Not much happens - and slowly. We did get to see some old, familiar faces, though. Our favorite alcoholic, Sarah Palmer, had a grocery store meltdown about turkey jerky (AS ONE DOES) and we finally got a visit from Audrey Horne!

Sadly, it appears that Audrey did NOT marry eyebrow plucking enthusiast Billy Zane in favor of a really grumpy little person named Charlie. Audrey HATES Charlie and all his goddamned paperwork, especially when she needs him to get up and go to the roadhouse with her to find her missing lover, NO MATTER HOW TIRED HE IS.

UGH, Charlie. As with all scenes in this episode, this scene is about 10 minutes too long, and at no point was there any mention of how Audrey’s son killed a kid and tried to kill a lady (CHARLIE IS GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH PAPERWORK TO DO OVER THAT). However, I would have gladly watched Audrey Horne dance to a jukebox for 10 minutes.

Speaking of scenes that go on too long - THIS BITCH. Seriously, how long does it take you to GET THE EFF OUT of a room when Miguel Ferrer has some important business with David Lynch?!

The only wig in the episode remains to be the enigma that is Diane’s wig. I have previously stated that we may never get the information we need to judge this wig and if it is trying to be real hair or not so again: I give up. You just keep doing you, Diane. LET’S ROCK!

EPISODE 13

EPISODE 13 YOU GUYS. I have been updating this long-ass blog post FOREVER and we’re no closer to getting rid of Dougie Jones!! He is even now gifting his family with nice cars and gym sets so it feels like he’s not going anywhere. WHY WHY WHY. Wake the HELL UP, DALE COOPER!!!!

Meanwhile, Bad Dale Cooper is looking rougher and rougher ever since his Woodsman reincarnation - he is now truly a garbage person. And his wig is still absolute trash. 

This week did test our loyalties in that we found ourselves in an arm wrestling match of the damned and were sorta rooting for Bad Coop against some other garbage people. Coop was victorious (sorry about your face, bro), but with that wig, we are all still losers.

In other bizarre hair news, what the hell is up with Ed’s hair?! This is NOT a wig but I really want to know who was driving the train with this hair “style” if you can even call it that. Looks like some pretty good soup, though. 

Oh, and apparently James can sing in falsetto? Wonders never cease. Still no sign of Lara Flynn Boyle who may be our only salvation at this point. We are all Sarah Palmer watching the same boxing match over and over again hoping for salvation. Maybe next week?

EPISODE 14

We are on the last lap of this show, and things are (sorta, kinda) coming together. Thanks (of course?) in part to the oldest Bond girl, Monica Bellucci, and the prophetic dream Gordon Cole had about her. The puzzle pieces seem to be fitting now. Thanks, Monica! Oh but wait - WHO IS THE DREAMER?! With every answered question comes a new question. 

Luckily, Diane is on the case and ready to drop some KNOWLEDGE AND GLAMOUR on everyone. Like her wig, Diane is an enigma. Unlike her wig (which is still not identified as a wig or not within the narrative - SIGH), Diane is full of super useful information. Dougie and Janey E you say? Oh she just so happens to be Diane’s estranged half-sister! OBVS! Not since Game of Thrones have we had such a convenient familial lineage. Just don’t eff it up, Las Vegas FBI! 

In other law abiding news, Lucy and her gravity defying hair are still the best and she and Andy once took a trip to Bora Bora! UGH seriously guys - bring back Wally Brando. Oh, and the worst sheriff (and second worst character), CHAD, was finally read for filth and locked up for being the worst - just in time for the good sheriffs to take a ROAD TRIP! 

Like most hikes in Twin Peaks, this one involved beautiful scenics, paternal nostalgia, putting dirt in your pockets (OR ELSE), discovering a naked woman with no eyes, and teleporting via creepy vortex into a B&W steampunk nightmarescape and hanging with a giant. I can’t wait for the TripAdvisor review!

Andy was the lucky recipient of the teleport trip and seriously: can this dude PLEASE STAR IN A BIOPIC OF STAN LAUREL? Just saying. Anyway, he met up with our favorite jolly (non-green) giant who sadly didn’t start singing the most appropriate Dolly Parton song for the moment: “Me and Little Andy” but instead revealed his name is not ??? but really THE FIREMAN. Seems legit. Andy also got some cool recaps of past episodes via a steampunk skylight and returned back to earth to keep that eyeless lady safe. 

Speaking of Dolly Parton songs, why was “I Will Always Love You” not playing during this scene??

Lots of missed opportunities, song-wise, but luckily Lucy had some PJs on hand for the eyeless lady from that time the dog got loose. Seriously, I would love to see an entire TV series about Lucy and Andy’s throwaway lines. Showtime: make this happen.

Despite Lucy’s PJ makeover, eyeless lady still has to be locked up with Chad (UGH) and some drunken guy bleeding from his mouth who may or may not be that dude Billy who Sherilynn Fenn and every rando at the roadhouse is always talking about.

Speaking of random characters, David Lynch decided that he still needs to be introducing new ones so meet British Jimmy, who has a magical glove not unlike basically all Marvel superheroes, a destiny only met in Twin Peaks, and a penchant for revealing his entire backstory when it’s his coworker’s birthday. Welcome to Twin Peaks, rando!

We end with our favorite alcoholic, Sarah Palmer, who just wants to have a goddamned Bloody Mary in peace (DON’T WE ALL) without being verbally assaulted by the new worst character in Twin Peaks: a-hole in the TRUCK YOU shirt. Well truck YOU, bro: Sarah Palmer has a soot monster vortex inside her and will quite literally pull your throat off. Sayonara! This is why it’s safer to drink at home watching violent TV. Lesson learned.

EPISODE 15

Hello from officially the longest blog post on this blog (and maybe in the history of the internet?) Are you guys still there? Are we all still watching? We are officially in the final stretch and things continue to come together....sort of. We begin with Nadine, gold shovel in hand, as she finally digs herself out of her marriage which apparently was still intact after all these years! She finally lets Big Ed go. 

Which means Ed and Norma are finally getting hitched! Halleluj! You totally cried about this, admit it. (Sure we cried about Ed’s haircut too but no matter).

Meanwhile, Bad Dale Cooper and his evil, horrible wig are still up to no good. Also his leathery skin is getting worse and worse by the episode. He rolls up to the gas station of ghostmares and tries to get a meet and greet with Phillip Jeffries (aka David Bowie - RIP!)

The gatekeeper is this broad who is definitely giving Beulla (see: Episode 1) a run for her money in the category of AGELESS GLAMOUR. 

BD Cooper also runs into our least favorite Twin Peaks resident/his possible son, Richard Horne and tells him to get in the car: road trip! Oh and speaking of residents of Twin Peaks we don’t like, Becky’s husband probably killed hisself?

Speaking of death, Dougie maybe just killed hisself? I mean, it’s a modern miracle that he hasn’t already but seriously: get out the way, bitch! Bring back Good Dale Cooper! If he didn’t kill hisself, I guess we all need to prepare for Dougie’s sequel: Electric Dougieloo

Finally, one of our very FAVORITE Twin Peaks residents, Margaret, aka The Log Lady, bid us adieu (as did Catherine Coulson, the woman who played her.) SOB!

We feel ya, Lucy. (Insert sobbing emojis)

EPISODE 16

We’ve come to the last 3 episodes and everything is coming together. The father-son road trip of the century comes to the only possible ending: with Richard Horne being sent up to a rock to be electrocuted. Sayonara, you terrible person! Oh, and yes: Bad Coop was your dad. See ya!

Bad Coop alerts Diane and her still mysterious wig, and suddenly Diane has an acid flashback to all the bad bad stuff that Bad Coop did to her. She recounts the upsetting tale to Gordon and Co and also reveals one more thing: BITCH IS A TULPA! 

And with a bullet to the head, she returns to the Black Lodge to bring it some extra retro fabulousness. Byeeeeeee!

Meanwhile, Dougie Jones (UGH) is in a coma after electrocuting himself. And then, just like that....FINALLY AGENT COOPER WAKES HISSELF UP!

SERIOUSLY. 

Also, thanks for the finger sandwiches, Mitchum Bros! Oh and sayonara to Oscar nominees Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh (and her excellent collection of mini Cheetos bags) during the neighborhood watch shootout of the millennium. 

Coop tells the Mitchum Bros to fire up the private jet (seriously thank goodness for these dudes)...he’s headed back to Twin Peaks! Yayys! He also says byeeeee to Janey E and our favorite mini cult leader, Sonny Jim Jones. 

Back in Twin Peaks, Audrey and her terrible husband FINALLY made it to the roadhouse where they promptly order martinis (not what I’d order at a roadhouse, but you do you, you fabulous weirdos). The crowd at the roadhouse soon realizes that they are in the presence of dance royalty and promptly and correctly clear the dancefloor so Ms. Horne can DO HER THANG. She does and it’s as dreamy as we remembered it...

Until that dream turns into a DAMN NIGHTMARE and Audrey wakes up in....a mental hospital? An alternate dimension? A remake of The Valley of the Dolls in which she plays Neely O’Hara in rehab (omg someone please make this happen)?! WHO KNOWS?!?!?! WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAT.

EPISODE 17

It’s come to this: Bad Cooper has made his way to Twin Peaks and Andy is SUPER EXCITED to see him but everyone else has their doubts, especially when the real Coop gives a call from the road. 

Meanwhile, terrible terrible Chad somehow manages to escape and tries to shoot Andy, but not if British Jimmy has anything to do with it! He punches through his cell and right into Chad’s face. Side note: why didn’t he just punch through his cell to get out in the first place? Oh well.

Upstairs, Bad Coop tries to shoot Sheriff Truman but not if Lucy has anything to do with it, and gurlfriend shoots him and saves the day (#TeamBeigeChair4Ever). Then Coop and Gordon and Co both have perfectly timed entrances just as Bob the Blob emerges from Bad Coop. The rest of the scene has Coop’s superimposed face on it (sure?) as British Jimmy fulfills his destiny of punching Bob out of existence. Also: British Jimmy is totally gonna have his own Netflix Marvel spin-off show, right? Also Jim Belushi is all of us during this scene. 

And Andy brings the eyeless lady to Coop in time for her to morph into...

DIANE IN A RED WIG! Sure, why not, right? I guess we know she is the real Diane because of her wig makeover?? Or the fact that she immediately makes out with Coop? WHO KNOWS?! I’m not even sure if we are supposed to believe that this terrible wig is real hair so why am I even typing this?! WHATEVER WE’VE MADE IT THIS FAR LET’S JUST KEEP GOING.

Anyway, Coop, Diane and Gordon go to visit David Bowie in teapot form (yes I just that sentence) and Coop is teleported back to 1989 where we get some sweet B&W flashbacks of Fire Walk With Me scenes showing Laura Palmer about to get herself murdered. But this time, Coop is there to save her! What what what?! Yes, this show is maybe about to rewrite history? Oh no nevermind - Laura was totally kidnapped away by...the forest? Seems legit. 

EPISODE 18

YOU GUYS WE MADE IT TO THE FINAL EPISODE! I still have no idea what the hell is going on with the wigs or otherwise but whatever. We get some more flashbacks to the original series, except no one finds Laura’s body. Curious. Then we see Bad Coop in the Black Lodge turning into a golden nugget (SASHAY AWAY TERRIBLE TERRIBLE WIG) and then morphing into a Dougie tulpa - congrats Janey E and Sonny Jim Jones?

Back in the forest, Coop still can’t find Laura but he does find Diane and her terrible red wig. Close enough? Anyway, they take a roadtrip to some random electrical wires where they shapeshift into a different dimension where they go to a hotel and have the most uncomfortable consensual/not consensual sex scene this side of Straw Dogs.

In the morning, Diane is gone and Coop and the hotel seem different. Coop must go out in search of some coffee at the local diner, where he also has to beat up some cowboy scum because sure - we have time for that.

Anyway, he finally finds what he’s been looking for: LAURA PALMER! Oh except she isn’t Laura Palmer; her name is Carrie Page and she’s never heard of Laura Palmer but she DID just murder some dude so sure: road trip!

They make it back to Twin Peaks in near utter silence (nope, nothing to talk about...) and Coop gets Carrie/Laura back to her mom’s house!

Everything seems to be going great until they knock on the door...

And this beautiful goddess in thirsty thirsty blowdryed locks answers the door. No, she’s not Sarah Palmer - she’s some bitch named Alice Tremont who doesn’t understand anything Coop is saying (you and me both!) WHAT?!

This is the right house, right? Oh wait - what year is it?

WHO KNOWS?! But Laura/Carrie have a good primal scream about it and: that’s it! Seriously, the whole show is over, leaving us with  about as satisfying an ending as The Sopranos or the Gilmore Girls revival. 

In the end, we have no clue what happened but all that matters is: the (few) wigs involved were terrible so let’s all just primal scream about it. And if you are still reading this, kudos to you for reading the longest blog post about wigs probably EVER! 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

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Moreon Henry Lever -- Rochester Street- Sherri Iona

Moreon Henry Lever — Rochester Street- Sherri Iona

ALL Photos and TEXT Sherri Iona Hi Linda I have a few photos you may like. My Grandfather, Henry Lever (Ren) built this table. I recently had it refinished, because, as a rebellious teenager I painted it blue, then white (thickly, a little is good, more is better!). Needless to say, my Dad (Allan Lever) grounded me! The lamp on top of the table is the one my Grandmother (Caroline “Carrie”) used…

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Family Stories from a Maple Syrup Bottle- The Lashley's from Fiddler's Hill

Maple syrup from the property of my Lashley ancestors at Fiddler’s Hill gifted to me this morning by Robert Duncan, who now owns the land. Robert has lots of stories about his farm and my great grandparent’s farm. I’m not sure I should open the bottle. It’s treasure– Sherri Iona I saw this Facebook posting from Sherri Iona and I wanted to document some of the things that came from the former…

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Buttons and Quilts by Sherri Iona (Lashley)

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Glory Days in Carleton Place-Sherri Iona (Lashley)

Glory Days in Carleton Place-Sherri Iona (Lashley)

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Henry Lever's House on Rochester Street -- Sherri Iona

Henry Lever’s House on Rochester Street — Sherri Iona

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What Happened to the Riddell/ Montgomery Doors? Three years later...  Sherri Iona (Lashley)

What Happened to the Riddell/ Montgomery Doors? Three years later…  Sherri Iona (Lashley)

In 2017 I did a blog about: Riddell— H B Montgomery House History For Sale Joyce Murray called me to say she had the doors from the Montgomery house and they are changing everything in the home. Joyce has two group of doors. One with glass and the other original wooden doors.. Check listing below. Some of my house comes from other homes in Carleton Place so I feel that I need to share this so…

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Henry Lever's House on Rochester Street -- Sherri Iona

Henry Lever’s House on Rochester Street — Sherri Iona

Here is another for a question. Does this house still exist? Not far from you on Rochester. My great great grandfather Henry Lever built it with his brother. I don’t recognize the names of the people in the picture, taken after 1906. Yes Sheri it does!!! I have a letter written by Henry in 1897 to a minister in Scotland requesting his help regarding a legal claim to the Lever estate in…