#shenanigans really

[isjasz]

someeeee doodles bc i miss them and felt like rendering. im so rusty

[ao3-shenanigans]

WE MADE IT FOLKS!!!

[bruciemilf]

There’s something off about Bruce.

Dick’s eye is trained for detail; He has to calculate every leap, every step, every breath, every count. He’s a showman. Everything is routine, and routine is everything.

Injury isn’t unusual, especially for his father .He out stubborns Tim in resisting medical examinations, after all.

For Bruce, secrets are protection. He lied about every injury he had when Dick was Robin, suffering in silent agony as the pain grew and grew, a tradition he carries on from Jason to Damian.

If Bruce screams, it’s bad.

“God fucking dammit, how the fuck does he do this? Who the fuck breaks their femur AND just carries on? Jesus FUCKING Christ.”

Bruce curses under his breath, profanity hushed. Dick’s veins freeze, blood turning to stone. He guesses his shock is obvious because Jason mirrors it to perfection.

One; Bruce doesn’t curse.

Two; He definitely doesn’t curse in a jersey accent.

The unease is pungent. Alfred practically tastes it, vitriolic as anything. His chest is taut, pulse slow, “Sir,” it’s cautious, “Shall I prepare the supplies?”

‘Bruce’ waves his hand, voice gruffer, lower, smokey, “Yeah, thanks, babe,”

Alfred blinks. And whoever pretends to be Bruce, blinks back, almost like a deer being cornered by an English hound, smile a bit boyish and unsure.

“…Thomas?”

“… Okay, you’re gonna laugh—“

Dick is reeling, because apparently:

His dead grandparents have been possessing his father throughout the years and they, wards to the best detective in the world, never caught on.

“Look, I get you’re pissed, BUT,” It’s so unbelievably weird watching Bruce be so expressive;

His hands move energetically, like they have their own voices, and his rain soft voice catches on fire when his father talks through him,

“This IS 50% MY body, technically.“

“Thomas, dear, that is not how that works. Come now, you’re scaring our grandchildren.”

And Jason’s voice is uncharacteristically soft when he speaks, more posh, more elegant . That is not his brother.

Alfred passes out, to no one’s surprise.

[razzafrazzle]

enough strong bads... time for strong sads (theres still a strong bad here)

[image description: a page of drawings of a human design of strong sad from homestar runner, where she is depicted as a fat, tan-skinned trans woman with gray and brown hair pulled into a bun and multiple piercings. she is wearing a gray sweatshirt, jeans, and steel-toed combat boots, and next to her is a note stating that she is trans and bisexual and that her pronouns are she/they. next to that is a drawing of her smiling and wearing a sloshy t-shirt, and above that is a comic of strong bad poking her in the stomach and saying "even her gender is my hand-me-downs", to which she stays silently angry at him. end id]

[mistyjessart]

The Odyssey Modern AU: Christmas edition

For your consideration: the Odyssey but as a Hallmark Christmas movie where Odysseus travels to New York for work and is trying to get home to Hawaii?? (I needed a long domestic flight shhhhh it was either this or Vancouver to Newfoundland) in time for Christmas dinner with Penelope and Telemachus after missing it for the last 20 years straight

The Trojan War is some really big business venture or something that took literally forever for them to sign but they finally did it!!

Polyphemus keeps them after work threatening to get HR involved because they accidentally ate his lunch that he left in the fridge, Polites and some of his other coworkers get stuck there but Ody and the rest manage to escape the office

Athena is Odysseus' boss (and childhood friend) who told him to get everything done more efficiently so he could leave earlier but noooooo he didn't listen and guess who's cutting it close again

The wind bag: Aeolus (from another department, maybe distribution??) sends them home with snacks that they forget to declare and Poseidon the airport security guard sees them after Eurylochus opens the bag in the waiting area and pulls them into the security room until they miss their flight

Circe owns a local motel and wanted to kick them out because she doesn't trust so many dudes around her employees after past incidents, but her and Athena's mutual friend Hermes gives Odysseus some of her favourite tea as a peace offering and he tells her about his wife and kid and she's just like "fineeeeee okay you're a wife guy, I guess I can find you a room"

She calls them a taxi to the airport the next day and the driver Tiresias just keeps giving them ominous life advice and seems to know like... way too much about them and also they're not entirely sure he actually has his license

Odysseus gets a call from his mom like "where are you we're waiting for you" and he's like "I'm on my way home I promiseeeeeeeeee I'll be there this time"

The sirens are various sales reps at the airport

Scylla (baggage check employee) keeps some of them cuz their bags are too heavy so Ody and the rest head to the gate without them

Eurylochus brings snacks again (thinking Chicharron-style snacks, ones you're not supposed to bring on a plane) and Zeus detains them

The suitors are just the neighbourhours who bully Telemachus like "oooOOOOhhhhh ssuuuUUURrreee your dad is tOOOOtally gonna show up to Christmas this year" and making jokes about his mom

Athena (who did leave early and catch the original flight) scares them away and reassures Telemachus that his dad is on his way (while texting Odysseus "see I told you so")

She finds out Zeus is the one detaining them so she calls her dad like "please can you at least send Odysseus on his way, you literally know him, he's just a dumbass sometimes" so Zeus let's Odysseus go catch his flight but keeps the rest of them in security

Calypso is some lady he's seated next to on the plane who hits on him for the entire ten-hour flight

Poseidon, who got transferred to the other airport, recognizes Odysseus from before and pulls him into security again and Odysseus just rips into him until he lets him go

The neighbours are bullying Telemachus while he's out getting last-minute ingredients for dinner when some dude turns up and tells them off and threatens to get their parents so they all run off

Penelope's just like... "who are you and what have you done with my husband, how are you actually on time"

Insert sweet and sappy Christmas dinner with the entire family until Odysseus' sister goes "wait... where's Eurylochus?"

Eurylochus turns up at the door the next morning like "ODYSSEUS YOU MF I HAD TO CATCH ANOTHER FLIGHT-"

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Dick wants to be a better brother for Tim than he was for Jason, so he turns to an online forum to get tips on how to bond with younger siblings ((and maybe try to cope with the trauma of losing Jason in a way that isn’t running headlong into danger)).

Unbeknownst to him, his chat buddy is a bored Jason sitting ducks on the other side of the world, waiting for Talia to find him a new trainer.

Neither of them expect how much this ends up changing things.

[pastabaguette]

internalized homophobia

i’ve done nothing but work on —> s33k the highb100d for a week, so i took a break and did some humanstuck.

[nell0-0]

Based on a fic called A Wild Time at Calamity Ganon

This was a gift fic from @musical-chan about Mask ending up at the end of another hero's journey (Wild). Yeah, I'm still thinking about this fic aksgfshdn

[hootyhoowoo]

My brain rot worm of the week is this au by @nibbelraz …I love your shang brothers 😭🙏 they live in my head rent free!!

Also more under the cut ✂️

I imagine Shang Qinghua as a fat cheeked baby— he got the hamster look down pat since day one

[koyuxim]

happy new year!! 🎉🎉

[caffichai]

Kjera and Enya's perspective trick

[ruporas]

captain's warm hugs! (id in alt)

[curemi]

Cure Nyammy 🩵🎀

[puppetmaster13u]

Cryptid Batfam Prompt- But in Memes

[egophiliac]

so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!

god I hope this reads properly

[wondersinwaynemanor]

at the Watchtower

~

Batman, currently having an intense workout at the gym.

Green Arrow, enters the area: Adding more muscles on you, Bats? Don't you have enough on you?

Batman, briefly glances in Green Arrow's direction: Hn.

Batman does cardio for a while before disappearing to the showers to freshen up, leaving Green Arrow confused.

-

Batman, eating in peace at the cafeteria.

Flash, suddenly zooms in front of the table: Slow down on the protein, Bats. Leave some for us.

Batman, narrows his eyes at his teammate, clearly bothered by the disturbance.

Flash, gulps, before running away: Forget I said anything. Byeee!

~

Superman: Did Batman just jog around the tower for 3 hours?

Wonder Woman: It's more than that.

Superman, calls for Batman, when he passes by them: You preparing for an off world mission that we don't know about, Batman?

Wonder Woman waits for a reply, hands on her hips.

Batman, growls: None of your business.

Superman and Wonder Woman exchange a look and just let him be.

Superman: He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Wonder Woman, smiles: I think I have an idea on what's happening.

--

at the Manor:

~

his kids noticing his workout routine as well.

Dick: Ooooh, you trying to impress a special someone, B?

Cass: You don't have a condition, right?

Steph: It's not depression, right?

Damian: You signed up for a marathon, Father?

Duke: Is this involving your next mission with the Justice League?

Jason: Bane giving you a hard time, old man?

Tim: You're not missing a spleen too, right?

Bruce, sighs: None of the above.

Bruce: As you are all grown up now, I need some extra strength to carry you when you need me for anything.

there is a brief silence as his kids internalize on what he said.

Dick: Awww, B is getting soft in his old age.

Cass just smiles.

Steph: Woah. Bruce must have been doused with cheesiness or something.

Damian: Tt. We appreciate it, Father, but don't over work yourself.

Duke: Dami's right. We can handle ourselves, Bruce.

Jason: Ugh. I didn't come back from the dead for this.

Tim: As long as you're not missing any body part like me.