#sheev palpatine | darth sidious

[trudemaethien]

Holder of Sheaves

clippatine smut

yeah you heard me

rated E, Clippy from Microsoft/Sheev Palpatine, full-body sounding, punnage

read this crack on AO3 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/49255318

[stagbeetleboy]

He is bugs

Puffy sleeves and blues Senator Palpatine is matching the Euops genus of leaf-rolling weevils

Camarotus singularis and the chancellor’s spectacular sleeves

What in the world? Frog legged beetle Sagra Fulgida.

The Emperor is a pale imitation of the humble stag beetle. Lucanus Cervus.

What a brilliant color! Agrypnus agrillaceus.

[whitejays-galaxy]

I had to

Meanwhile Dooku and Palpatine

[galactic-rhea]

DROP HIM, DOOKU, DROP HIM AND RUN

[swartists4palestine]

Thank you @wanderingmausoleum for your donation 🇵🇸

Art by the wonderful @stealingpotatoes

[phoenixkaptain]

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn��t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

[shapelytimber]

And at last !! the baddies

Finaly they are all here !!!!!! The full recap/height chart will be ready soon :3c

ALSO ! I modified Padme's one a little (redid the portrait a bit and some other minor details), and added Sabé :)))) dw about it <3

[COMMISIONS]

[PART 1] - [PART 2] - [PART 3]

Yapping below vvv

Had a lot of fun with Palpatine's outfit !! She gets to dress dramaticaly like the rich influencial nabooian (?) woman she is (the gown is heavily inspired by a 1998 Dior dress) ! Of course after the creation of the empire she doesn't do that anymore :( evil old lady in a bathrobe didn't bother to brush her air for 20 years... Good for her ig

I must admit.... Dooku's design is the most indulgent one here, it's targeted to *me* specifically fjfkdk like this outfit (minus the cape...for now) would be something I would wear, the dracula vibes because it's christopher lee and I have no problem what so ever with the hammer draculas, the feminine tall older woman- so yeah maybe I pushed the sith vibes a bit, and gave her the shadow the hedgehog color palette... But this is one of my faves design here sue me

For Boba I redesigned the og trilogy look a little bit, by taking some elements from disney's design and adding a bit of my own flaire to it :) and giving her a *big gun*

And for the first time..... You can trully appreciate how tiny Boba is jdndk big gun for tiny butch

Vader is just Vader- what do you want from me this is one of the best designs ever created djdk I'm not changing anything here (but this *is* one of the best Vader I ever drew jfkdkd don't know what I did different but he looks great !)

And Sabé is here now !! nothing to do with the fact I stumbled upon the Sabédala ship and it has occupied my mind ever since jfkfj Anyway ! Had a lot of fun with the flame dress (I know it doesn't contrast well with Padmé's, but I really wanted to do this one :(( the over handmaiden's outfits weren't as iconic imo)

PS : link to a post explaining why Vader uses he/him and Anakin she/her

[toaarcan]

[darth-jess]

In my head, Vader relives every single moment he ever had with Padmé over and over again. Partly for comfort, partly because he misses her, but mostly to torture himself.

I wonder, if in all his remembrances, he thinks of how Palpatine admitted he knew of their marriage (Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover), and yet he still sent Padmé on a mission to basically seduce Rush Clovis.

And I wonder if it ever crosses Vader's mind that Palpatine did this just to drive a wedge between them. That Palpatine tried to get between him and his wife.

I wonder if he ever thinks about how many times Dooku tried to have Padmé assassinated, but Dooku was just taking orders from Palpatine.

I wonder if he thinks about every risky mission Palpatine sent Padmé on, missions where she got captured or badly hurt.

Vader is not stupid.

You know he thinks about these things.

You know he hates Palpatine for all of this, and so much more.

And yet, Vader stays by Palpatine's side.

Not because he believes Palpatine is his friend. Not even because he believes Palpatine will help him become more powerful, though he definitely tells himself this lie.

Vader stays because Palpatine is the only one who accepts him. If Vader left, where would he go? What purpose would he have? He would have to go live out his life completely alone and isolated, and he would be forced to confront all the grief and the horror he caused.

Nobody loves Vader, nobody ever could.

He hates himself.

Because he was the Chosen One, who couldn't save his mother, who couldn't save Ahsoka, who couldn't save his wife, who couldn't save his unborn child.

And this existence, of being used and made to do all these terrible things, is what he deserves.

[darth-memes]

STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH CAME OUT 19 YEARS AGO!!

[sk0rbut]

if my parents had named me sheev i’d be evil too honestly

this is just what happens when you don’t pay your workers the fact that your boss was a sith is just a lucky coincidence

[captainsamta]

On paper, after years

[stagbeetleboy]

The people’s princess

[syndullahera]

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (2008-2020) 5.16 • "The Lawless"

[oonaluna-art]

I used to have a Sith Apprentice who was 6'8, and I'm 5'8. One time we were arguing and he took a holopicture of me from his eye level to show me what I looked like from his perspective and honestly, that was so disrespectful. - Emperor Sheev Palpatine

I also made a Revan Variant of this

[ventresses]

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - (6/?)

Star Wars + Text Posts & Headlines