#she's still a weird lady but she's licensed now

[lazylittledragon]

i said that gale and cyra have disaster romcom energy and now it's all i can think about

[heavyhitterheaux]

Can't Take You Seriously

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

AN: I saw a tweet about this and just had to do it lol

Synopsis: You are trying to have a serious conversation with your husband, but can't figure out why he's so distracted

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist 1

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist 2

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“Baby! Are you even listening to me?!” You exclaimed as you looked at your husband who seemed like he was focused on everything else but you.

“Of course I am!” Jack replied to you as you were standing in front of him.

“Then what did I just say?!”

“Umm, I forgot to do something that you asked.”

“And I asked you to do it last week! If I knew that this was going to take this long, I would have done it myself. You’ve been home for three weeks now from tour. I let you relax a little bit and take a moment for yourself, but did you suddenly forget that you’re a husband and a father too?”

“I’m not trying to argue with you, babe. Of course I didn’t forget!”

“Then why are we having this conversation for the third time this week? I’m about to drop you off on Maggie’s doorstep but now that she’s gotten rid of you, she probably doesn’t want you back.” You complained while crossing your arms and Jack still had that weird look on his face and didn’t even bother responding to your previous statement. 

“Jackman! What has you so distracted? Because you are literally hardly paying attention to anything that I’m saying. I could use a little more help here and I don’t know how many times that I have to say it. You decided to get me pregnant, did you not?”

All you felt was Jack move your wig that you were wearing slightly to the left, taking you aback and you were now the one looking confused.

“I literally cannot take you seriously while you’re yelling at me and your wig is crooked. Now it’s not, so we can continue.” Jack muttered while smoothing out the top and you were just looking at him in disbelief.

“Look, as much money as I spend on buying them for you, I need to make sure we’re getting my money’s worth and you’re wearing them right. Now, as you were saying?”

All you did was roll your eyes and Jack noticed that you now had a pout on your face.

“If you rolled your eyes at me any harder just now, they would have gotten stuck. So, now you’re quiet and don’t have anything to say?”

“You get on my last nerve.” You replied as you were trying your hardest not to laugh.

“I can’t have my wife out here looking like I don’t love her and take care of her! Can you imagine the headlines? And then he who shall not be named will take that as an opportunity to slide right in and take my place.”

“Not with him wearing those inspector gadget looking outfits.”

“I-... we’re going to leave that one alone.”

“But seriously, baby can you please go do what I asked?” You said as Jack pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead.

“Yes, babe. I’m going right now and I’m sorry that I’ve just been in a mood lately. Being a husband and a parent doesn’t stop and I promise that I’m good now. Was just overwhelmed for a minute.”

“And you didn’t tell me this because? What did I tell you about that?”

“I know and I have no excuse. Thank you for always being here for me when I need you.”

“Always and forever.”

“And I’m always going to be here for you especially when your wig needs to be fixed.”

You pulled away from Jack to look up at him and gave him a blank stare.

“What?”

“I should have returned you with the receipt when I had the chance.” You muttered and Jack rolled his eyes.

“If the receipt you’re talking about is our marriage license, keep in mind that you were the one who got drunk and proceeded to almost set it on fire and would have if I didn’t throw you over my shoulder and Dani grabbed it from you.”

“Hmm, she was useful for some things I guess, but I don’t recall.”

“I guess not since the next morning you didn’t remember a single thing that happened, but it’s okay. I love my wife and her crooked wigs and all.” Jack leaned down to kiss the tip of your nose and you were trying to get away from him. 

“Jackman?”

“Uh oh. Government name was used.”

“Use your hand for a week.”

“That’s how you’re going to treat me after these hands fixed your wig for you? They can make you cum too if you let me.”

“JACKMAN THOMAS, CUT IT OUT!”

First Lady Blurbs Taglist

@cmalass

@a-moment-captured

@alinaharlow

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@harlowcomehome

@hoodharlow

@nattinatalia

[aita-blorbos]

aita for telling my brother-in-law not to fuck with my wife??

so i (33m) am a licensed mercenary in my city. i used to be a grade 1, highest of the 9 grades in most of my occupation, but recently was demoted all the way back to grade 9 by the higher-ups, due to reasons i'll explain later. my wife (38f) and her brother (39m) were as well, at the even higher distinction of each being given a color and a special title. that is, until my wife died in an incident while i was out on work. she was everything i had in my life, so you can imagine how heartbroken i was; i did a lot of things i regret now, which also stripped me of my rank and most of the connections i had.

then one day, i was wandering around on the street, looking for my favorite sandwich shop, since i heard they had a special deal that day, when out of nowhere, i found myself in.. a weird, fantastical library of sorts, and was promptly greeted by a mysterious lady dressed all in black, who questioned me intensely and ripped off all my limbs when she found my answers unsatisfactory. yeah, what a way to welcome an unexpected visitor.

anyway, i woke up, and the lady gave me a whole speech on her freedom or something, and how i'll be helping her from now on to gather books for her library (books in this case are made from killing humans, it's weird, don't think too much on it). well, i didn't have anything to lose at that point, nor did i have much of a choice, so i became her right-hand man, and eventually we became friends.

fast forward to… a few years in? i couldn't tell you, time works strangely in here. anyway, the job is almost done, and my kidnapper-turned-boss-turned-best-friend is looking forward to getting out of this place and living as a regular human. then someone BREAKS DOWN the door, which was NOT possible before, given that this library hasn't really been a physical location up until now.

and in walks

none other

than my nutcase brother-in-law

he's accompanied by a bunch of monsters who are somehow all still capable of thinking and speaking, though none of them are exactly in their right minds. he calls them his ensemble or something. anyway he shows up in here, for context librarian lady and i have caught a few peeks at him, and he's always going on about his sister (my wife) and how beautiful it was witnessing her and the thing that killed her, or whatever, my head hurts just thinking about it.

anyway, a bunch of these guys are also people on the receiving end of my anger when my wife died. one of them being a mad scientist who wanted to bring back his son by making him into a puppet. the fucker's been turning people into puppets ever since, and this time, he's come along with MY DEAD WIFE stitched up into an abomination of what she once was, and her brother somehow has the gall to taunt me about it, saying i've come to steal her from him again and they've made her too beautiful for me to handle. if i could i would've killed him right then and there, but given the circumstances that would've been an impossible task.

the librarians on the lower floors are currently dealing with a few members of this group of lunatics and our dear miss head librarian is making me write this because she thinks i'm not acting like myself

so. internet, aita?

[virtuousweakling]

Hantengu + Gyokko (humans): ✨shopping✨

(mostly fluff but mentions of condoms, butt stuff etc.) brief mentions of car accidents but no gore. ⚠️

The period is modern day and Hantengu and Gyokko are a homosexual couple of older gentlemen living together. Hantengu struggles with kleptomania and Gyokko is supporting them with his art commissions. Now I literally couldn't stop laughing while writing this and my family must have thought I was going insane but I hope y'all feel the same joy reading this as I had writing it.

Enjoy! 💚💜🖤❤️

Hantengu sighed as his stomach growled and quickly closed the fridge, calling out to Gyokko, "We need to go to the store. We're just about out of everything." "Oooh! I just LOVE a chance to go out and show off my glorious outfits! Let me get ready." Gyokko gleefully replied. "But Gyokko, we aren't going anywhere special, we're just going to S-Mart and coming straight home. I only have $250 in food stamps." "FIVE MINUTES, I SWEAR!" The sound of thick, leather footfalls approached Hantengu at the door. "Readyyy!" Hantengu, wearing a red knit cardigan, simple tan slacks and glasses perched low on his pointy nose looked Gyokko up and down. "...You're dressed for a bachelor party." "Hyo, hyo! You should be MORE than happy to be seen walking beside ME of all PEOPLE, Hantenguuu!" "Yeah, sure, whatever grab your purse and let's go. You practically took an hour and a half, it's already 3 o'clock."

Hantengu shakily put his keys in his run down Cadillac and started the vehicle with a popping sound shooting out of the exhaust pipe. He adjusted the mirror and squinted his eyes, moving his seat up extremely close to the wheel, practically hunching over it. "Oh, did we lock the door?" Gyokko nodded, "Yes, Hantengu, you locked it three times." "Well I just don't want anyone breaking in and stealing anything." Gyokko agreed. "Like my beautiful masterpieces, oh how horrendous that would be!" "Exactly that's why it's important we make sure we lock the door when we leave." Neither men considered how unhinged and delusional that conversation sounded considering they both committed illegal acts on a regular basis, one of them convincing himself of his non-existent innocence and the other defending his violent tendencies.

Hantengu was a terrible driver and Gyokko was...even worse, but Hantengu had better focusing skills than Gyokko who had massive road rage and liked to race strangers. See, Hantengu began doing most of the driving when Gyokko lost his license one summer after ramming a black SUV with no headlights into the back of a woman's sedan in the middle of the night. She had two kids and one baby in the backseat. Now Hantengu occasionally backed into the mailbox and a telephone pole outside of the driveway, but just casually said "Oops." And kept going. One time the air bag was released onto Gyokko who, surprisingly withstood it very well considering his muscular physique, but Hantengu shrieked in fear and pissed himself in the passengers seat. If it were him who'd been hit, all of his frail bones would have been broken. The piss stain is still there and the car reeks of stale, moldy interior and, well, you guessed it... Piss.

Hantengu drove to the grocery store, just nonchalantly cutting people off and failing to use turn signals. One lady began yelling out her window but stopped mid sentence as she noticed the fragile, elderly man with a receding hairline and large protrusion on his head hunched over the wheel looking over his glasses not even noticing her at all (as if he thought he was the only car on the road) and the rather pale, over-dressed man beside him with green lipstick giving her the double barrel finger with his tongue out. "...What the fuck...?" She mumbled to herself. Her husband who looked like he just got off the golf course at a country club bared his teeth in disgust and said "I told you the locals were weird around here, let's just get off on this next exit, honey."

Hantengu and Gyokko pulled into the store, driving in extremely slow circles around the entire parking lot until Hantengu thought he found a close enough parking space. They parked completely sideways over the line beside them and onto the line for the parking space in front of them, partially blocking off a handicapped space. Hantengu moved his seat back and got out, walking around the car to release Gyokko whose door handle was missing from the inside. Gyokko stuck his hand out expecting Hantengu to take it and guide him out of the car like royalty but Hantengu just turned around and stood with his hands on his hips, stretching his back and looking around at the pedestrians walking with their buggies in disgust.

"Did I park okay?" Hantengu asked Gyokko, squinting at the car. "Yeah, looks pretty straight to me. Straighter than last time. Let's get a cart, I'm excited."

The second they entered the store, Hantengu grabbed a flyer and licked his thumb, skimming the pages for coupons. Gyokko began running around grabbing random things and putting them in the cart. "Ah, Gyokko, no. Put that back. We don't have that kind of money and I don't even think my EBT card will cover that." "Why are you so boring, OLD MAN?" As they walked further through the produce section, Gyokko asked to push the cart. "Can I push it... Daddy?" Hantengu choked on his own saliva for a second and nodded, furrowing his brow while walking away and look at something else. Everything Gyokko wanted, even something simple like a bag of grapes, instigated the same question from Hantengu again and again like a broken record: "Is that even on sale?" After a while, Gyokko couldn't help but notice Hantengu was walking with his hands behind his back, leaning slightly forward and judging literally everything in the store. The people, the food, the environment, even the way the buggies wheels screeched. Hantengu's expression was one of brutal, silent judgement and he had no damn reason to do that while looking the way he did but he did it anyway. Hantengu approached a giant cardboard display of watermelons and leaned forward, knocking on all of them. It almost looked like he was listening to them. He walked away shaking his head. He touched everything, yet, put nothing in the cart. "You're so cute." Gyokko said to his partner, biting his lip. Hantengu looked so damn embarrassed.

Hantengu and Gyokko approached a home goods aisle and saw a big, orange tag below a shelf of deluxe, extra-large automatic rice cookers that said "SALE: 39.99 orig. price: 69.99" Gyokko marveled at the boxes as the geriatric Hantengu leaned in, squinting at the price tag. "39.99? Half off? Hm." He pensively touched his chin. "...hm." Gyokko looked at Hantengu, who was just standing there silently, speculating about the price tag. "Hmm." Gyokko just awkwardly glanced at the side, anticipating Hantengu to say something other than "hm." It seemed as if the most excruciating half hour passed by before Hantengu actually said something until finally, Hantengu went "Ah," breaking the silence.

"Yes?" Gyokko asked.

"39.99 is still too expensive. I can get ten bags of rice for that money and cook it for free."

Gyokko's entire mind deflated like Squidward's head in that one episode and just dragged himself along with Hantengu at this point, trying desperately to enjoy this time out with his partner. They approached a medicine aisle and Gyokko noticed migraine antiinflammatories on sale. "You need this," he said to Hantengu who was browsing the adult diapers. "Hm? What is it." Hantengu took the small box out of Gyokko's hand and adjusted his glasses, tilting his head back as if struggling to read the package. "What is this?" "It's antiinflammatories. For your head." "But I don't nee-... Fuck you." Hantengu tossed the box at Gyokko who caught it on his chest, jovially laughing at Hantengu (these two boogers sounded like the old men on the muppets show). Gyokko squeaked as he pointed out contraceptives to Hantengu, "TROJAN XXXL? WHOSE DICK IS THIS BIG?" Hantengu's heart sank as he looked around, hushing the always inappropriate Gyokko. Gyokko continued, "Oh, here we go, 'intense pleasure warming jelly.' Comes with ridged condoms for 'extra satisfaction.'" Hantengu facepalmed so hard his hand almost exited out the back of his skull. "Gyokko, please. Why are you doing this." "We need them! EXCUSE ME, DO YOU WORK HERE?" "NO, GYO-" "Yes sir how can I help you?" "CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME THIS FROM BEHIND THE GLASS?" "Gyokko please, my heart, I can't..." "TOO LATE."

Gyokko grinned like a maniac as he watched the clerk unlock the window. Gyokko put the box in the cart and showed Hantengu a $20 bill from his pocket. "If I'm buying it, it's mine." "Then get your own basket, I'm not pushing this around, everyone can see what it is." "What's the matter Hantengu, you don't want everyone to know what's going to happen to that tight hole of yours tonight?" Hantengu croaked and began to sweat. Finally the men checked out and Hantengu forced Gyokko to go to a different scanner. As Hantengu scanned away at the self checkout, the clerk standing by noticed his behavior was looking a bit off since he was looking over his shoulder a lot and seemed nervous. She approached Hantengu and asked if everything was ok to which Hantengu reassured her it was fine. Gyokko looked over from his own self checkout and noticed sweat forming on Hantengu's forehead. "Yoo-hoo! I need help over here!" He decided to call for the woman to distract her from Hantengu to take the pressure off of him. Hantengu saw hoodies with the stores name on them on a rack nearby and grabbed one to make it look like he was buying it. Loudly, he exclaimed, "ah, you know what, I decided I'm not gonna get this." And draped it over the camera screen in front of him. By the time the lady was done being distracted by Gyokko's eccentricity, Hantengu took his receipt and the men carried on. There was a receipt checker standing at the exit doors and a family of five who had a massive cart full came up on Hantengu and Gyokko's side. They timed their exit exactly beside the family so the checker wouldn't know which receipt to look at. Gyokko and Hantengu walked free.

Once home, they unloaded their frugal purchases and Gyokko noticed some odds and ends at the bottom of the bag. "Seriously?" He asked Hantengu. "I don't know how any of that got there." "Hantengu..." "I'm serious, I don't know how any of that got in there it must have accidentally fallen in. Maybe I grabbed someone else's bag?" The bag was full of chapstick, candy bars, a readers digest, an addiction counseling pamphlet and a package of watch batteries. "Hantengu what are you planning on doing with all of this?" Hantengu slammed the refrigerator shut and put his head in his hands. "I-I DON'T KNOW, STOP ASKING ME! I ALREADY TOLD YOU!" Gyokko noticed Hantengu was beginning to sniffle. "Hantengu... Can I touch you?" Hantengu just whimpered softly, mumbling reassuring words to himself as Gyokko carefully embraced him in a hug. "It's ok. Papa's got you. It's alright." Gyokko normally would never act like this and it certainly always seemed as if he had no idea how to, but he cared for Hantengu in such a way that he automatically shut down the usual shit show if it meant consoling his typically inconsolable partner. "I'll help you to the couch, you just sit down while I finish putting the freezer food away." Hantengu nodded like a nervous little boy and sniffed his fragile little way to the sofa with Gyokko. Once Gyokko finished putting everything up he called to Hantengu, "when you feel better do you want me to make you something to eat?" Hantengu wiped his nose and nodded. "Ok I'll make you something nice and tasty."

That's all for now, folks, another story will come soon! Thank you sm for reading!!

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown. You know what's funny is you automatically went to the karaoke scene because it's basically a joke to us now I get it. But they have better Buddie paranoid minds.

In Narnia..... You could release the footage without the music because yes everyone would watch it like a silent movie. You could also just release more footage because we all know there is more. You could release the medal ceremony footage of the Buddie with Chris. Even if Marisol is in it, who cares she's history now.

But the best one where I have to admit we sort of forgot about. Was the scene of why was Eddie watching them eat? Yes the show detoured a little after that. But why film it? What if they release that and it adds context to the GA that questions what was Eddie really thinking.

Stepping out of narnia.. I mean, I am not banking on any of that. But....... The fact they remembered the Eddie still made me laugh because I did sort of forget it. So don't let them fool you into thinking they aren't aware we have a lot of footage. Yes it could be used to bring the focus back to heavily Eddie and Buck and the weirdness of what makes them Buddie.

Hey babe 🩷

I mean, I go to the karaoke scene because it is the scene we asked Tim for but he said he can't release it because they would have to pay the licensing, it's the one for one comparison, but the way they are thinking about other scenes is so funny osskosksoskosksoskw I legit forgot about the still with Chris and Buck at the medal ceremony. It would be a nice treat, but then again, Marisol is on the scene so I doubt they would release it anyway. And I mean, let's face it, there are real chances there are Buck and Eddie scenes laying around on their servers, even that one scene from the bachelor party Tim released the script for works. But it is so true everyone would watch the karaoke even without the audio, we would go nuts anyway lol. But yeah, I'm not banking on unreleased scenes, and we have a lot on the show already so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I wouldn't say no to a hair reveal from Oliver and Ryan in a nice behind the scenes video tho.

[24hoursofsarcasm]

White female cops are worse than the male white cops sometimes. I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation something simple as I didn’t put my new registration sticker on my license plate, but I had my new registration and sticker in the car. I explained to her because of the temperature the sticker wasn’t going to stick (lady at dmv said if the temperature outside wasn’t at least 33 degrees it wouldn’t stick) I never raised my voice and showed her everything that she needed to see registration, insurance, license. She ran my name cause why not I’m black I must have warrants 😁came back with nothing and me being the sarcastic savant I am say to her “now that was a waste of time wasn’t it” 🤫 should have just kept my mouth shut 🤐 right after I said that she says something to the effect of “so, you think this is funny?” and I said yes and she said “oh really” and I said “yeah really” then she asks me “do you mind if I search your car?” and I politely declined 😌. Then she hits me with the typical response “if you don’t have anything in the car then you don’t have anything to worry about”🥱 I politely decline again and ask “am I free to go?” She comes back with “your being detained until another unit gets here”😑. New officer arrives I’m still sitting in my car he approaches her 👮🏻 and I hear her say I was acting “weird” he walks up to my car and the same old script “how you doing tonight sir?” And I’m like “good” then out of nowhere he’s like “I know you don’t I ?” I look at his face and I’m like “Doug?” And he said “yeah!” Turns out me and this officer went to high school together, we weren’t close friends but we were cool hung out a few times he used to hang out with one of my buddies. So we chit chatting talking about classmates and catching up, so I’m like this is cool and shit catching up, but what’s up man can I go, and what’s up with her why she acting like that she didn’t even have to call for another officer, this dude tells me that she is racist and she thinks she’s the best female officer 👮🏻 on the street and that even if it’s minor stuff she’s running names and doing vehicle tosses. He also told me that some people don’t know they can decline a car search and she knows that, but when you do, like you did she’ll call for another unit to back her up so she can do a car search. He also said he hates backing her up cause he knows 7 times out of 10 that it’s something like this and her excuse every time is someone was acting “weird” and that’s code for I didn’t get my way to search their car and arrest another black person. He also told me that there’s a group of white female officers 👮🏻 👮🏻👮🏻👮🏻👮🏻that like only to go to black neighborhoods and fuck with them when they get certain calls just a reason to be more aggressive🤯😳 and I’m like woooow, but not at all surprised. So he sends me on my way and I can see her face when I pass, that bitch was mad mad 😡 and I was 🤣. So y’all be careful with these white female cops or cops in general not every story is going to end like mine.

[ejzah]

A/N: This is post “New Beginnings, Part 1” and assumes there’s a couple days between the end of the current case and Callen and Anna’s wedding. I know the timeline doesn’t really work, but I’m ignoring that for the sake of the story.

***

It’s Just A Little Food Poisoning

“You know, it’s funny,” Rosa commented as Deeks drove her to pick up a few supplies for the wedding. It was one of the times she’d agreed to relinquish her driving privileges since she’d earned her license.

“Hey, you should know by now that I like to sing in the shower,” Deeks joked at his own expense.

“No, I’m not talking about that. Though I didn’t know you could reach a note that high. It was really impressive.”

“Thank you. I’ve been practicing.”

“Actually, I was talking about Kensi. I ate some of your leftover shawarma—”

“Oh my god, are you ok?” Deeks interrupted, swiveling to Rosa with a concerned look. Kensi had been sick for three days straight and was still feeling touchy nearly a week later.

“I’m completely fine, Marty,” Rosa assured him. “That’s the thing. I ate quite a bit and I never felt sick at all.”

“That is kind of weird,” Deeks agreed, grimacing a little at the thought of both Deeks ladies eating his week-old leftovers. “Also, I’m really concerned about both of your tastebuds.”

“It tasted fine to me.”

“Just like your mother.” Rosa rolled her eyes at his teasing.

“Anyway, I just think it’s strange that only one of us got sick.”

Even stranger was Kensi’s newfound caution around food. He understood she was still squeamish off and on and didn’t want to risk another flare of symptoms, but he’d once watched Kensi consume a greasy bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich the day after a nasty bout of stomach flu. It was alarming to see her turn down a fresh Boston crème donut with a shudder.

“Yeah, me too. Well, hopefully it clears up soon, cause I don’t think Kensi can take another week of bananas and applesauce.”

[danketsuround]

sunday six!

typical monday six for me cause i forgot yesterday was sunday lol i was tagged by @four-white-trees and @overdevelopedglasses woo! thank you! i will tag everyone else i usually tag @c-cw-f-saeko @fire-tempers-steel @futilecombat @passthroughtime (think that's everyone? lmk if u want to be tagged/untagged) (share if you want don't if you don't as usual HI)

sharing something different cause i wasn't feeling well this weekend and i have this written already. little extra thing from two birds that expands on the letters kuwana and reiko wrote to each other. kind of long but i don't like it enough to post so just take the whole thing gosh!

To Kusumoto-san,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written yet. I just figured out how this works in the midst of moving around. Ehime is a nice place. Far, temperate. The people in Masaki are a little too friendly. Not sure I could say the same about Matsuyama, though, I guess that's the city to a stranger. It seems silly to say, but I hope you're making some friends, if you can.

When we first drove in, a seagull shat on my car. Right on the windshield! I almost killed us both. I know you just jumped at the thought, but we're really okay. Mitsuru made fun at me for getting so startled. He's a good kid. He's a lot like you and nothing like me. Thank God. Despite our differences I think we're getting along.

We came to Matsuyama for a bit. We wanted to pop in and see you but they told us it doesn't work that way. That day it really hit that you were in prison, and not just away on a terrible vacation. I guess I'll never get over missing you. It really upset Mitsuru, so I took him to do tourist stuff instead. It was nice because a lot of people visit those areas, so the wheelchair wasn't really a problem like it is on these gravely rural roads. We met the mascot, Mikyan, and took a picture with him. I'm sure it fell out when you tore open this envelope. Did you know Ehime is famous for its mandarins? They really won't let you forget it! The photo was just going to be of Mitsuru, but this lady behind me said she could take a photo of the both of us, and I got too shy to say no. I'd never do that! Maybe I'm a changed man after all. Anyways, you have the both of us now—though it wasn't like you didn't before.

Mitsuru gave me a haircut. I look ridiculous. You can see it in the photo, right? I would have done a better job blindfolded, but he seemed proud of it, so I kept it. His hair looks pretty choppy now, but not out of revenge. I just suck at cutting hair. Did I tell you that he's trying to get his high school diploma? What a dedicated young man you've raised. I technically still have my teaching license, so I've been helping. Feels good. It's weird. Whenever I help him, I remember why I became a teacher in the first place. Ironic, isn't it? I want to tell you everything but I'll save it for the next time we see you. I'm sorry for cutting it so short, but I have a favor to ask you.

The nurses in Ijincho explained a bunch of stuff to me about Mitsuru's condition and printed it out. It's expectedly massive. Sorry to be a pain, but would you mind taking a look at it and tell me what to do? Advice? I can't make sense of it all. Or maybe I refuse to believe it. Is he really hurt so badly? What does he think of all this? I wonder about it. I wonder about it a lot. He seems fine, but then I look at all his X-rays and blood tests and I don't know what to think. How do I get him too eat? To grab things? To smile? I'm taking it one step at a time, but these technical terms are a big hurdle. You can read it, right? You've always been so much smarter than me. I'm sorry again. I'm lost. Thank you. I'm running out of room. They've got a limit on paper for prison letters. Seems strict.

Mitsuru wanted to say:

M iSsyou Mo M

- Mi Tsu ru

He's got a damn strong grip on his pencil. You'd be proud.

Until then,

Yu

Kitakata,

It's good to finally hear from you. I'm doing as well as I can. You seem to be the same. I checked a map of Masaki to try and place you two. It seems like a nice town. Are you getting used to the short buildings and the little beach?

I've been friendly with some of the other inmates, and the seagulls here do the same, but I've been safer than you.

I got your picture. How cute. Your haircut isn't so bad, he did a good job.

I looked at the documents. I know what you mean. I expect you already know to use the feeding tube and how to bathe him. It's not surprising he did not respond well to the catheter. I wouldn't either.

Firstly, Mitsuru has anterograde amnesia. That means he has a very difficult time forming short term memory, even if his long term memory is intact. Remember when you told me he didn't know your name, even though you told him earlier? That's why. I'm not sure why he doesn't remember your face from before. I suppose that's a fortunate mystery. You may have noticed the nurses doing this, but if you tell him the same things over and over again, he'll have an easier time forming new memories. He knows what to call you now because you said it so many times. I'm sure he knows I'm in prison because the nurses told him many times, too. That's what I get.

I'm sure you're well aware of his mental health. He seems to go up and down a lot, I bet. Like his body, his brain is suck at seventeen. Doesn't he seem so... frozen in time to you? He's like an old doll, destined to be a kid forever. I'd be jealous if that was the end of it. The nurses observed that he sometimes behaves like a much younger child. Have you seen him suck his thumb? Does he tug at you when he wants your attention? Hug you at night? It's an acute stress response. He's defending his body from his mind—that's what that means.

Lastly, his food. It's not very difficult to do. Steam it for thirty minutes. If you lose track of time and think you've cooked it for too long, add another ten minutes. I did that when he was little. He hated vegetables until they weren't shaped much like vegetables anymore. He'd swallow his food whole to hurry up and play outside again, so boil it thoroughly. It should be the consistency of chewed gum or silt. Try it yourself, add salt if you hate it. He doesn't like broccoli. No broccoli. Like everything else, he's still relearning how to chew. Don't push him. He’s sensitive. You know that already, just like you know how to do all this other stuff. You have good intuition, and great memory, and it helps that Mitsuru seems to love you. Even still, don't push him. No broccoli. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't expect me to say anything else, I'll see you soon.

Kusumoto Reiko

[sparklyslug]

Vampire Eddie vampire Eddie (in the dead of night love bites) :D :D :D

Both shivering and sweating, he opts to throw on an old flannel over the concert shirt, hoping that’ll somehow help his body get back to regulating itself. It doesn’t, really, but Eddie’s always been a little more comfortable under a few layers. He leaves the rings on his fingers and fishes his wallet and chain out of his discarded old jeans. His drivers license and crumpled couple of bills might be about as helpful as the flannel, but he finds them similarly comforting.

He grabs another bandana out of the drawer where he keeps them stacked and kind of folded. Doesn’t put it in his back pocket though, opts to instead knot it around his neck, bandito-style. The skin there feels raw and hyper-sensitive still, where a demobat tail had wrapped around it and hauled him to the ground. Little late to protect himself there, but he doesn’t want it exposed either.

Ta-da. Ensemble complete. He really wishes it felt better. But fortunately, he knows something else that might.

He hasn’t seen his beloved girl since hauling himself in here, but unfortunately remembers throwing it by the TV after his Metallica set. So it’s on the other side of the chasm, if it’s still in the trailer at all. Fortunately, there are other lovely ladies in Eddie’s life. He could pretend that she was too old to really be worth pawning, but Eddie knows the truth: he could never bring himself to get rid of the acoustic guitar he first learned on, the sweetheart who unlocked the whole world for him in the first place.

She’s woefully out of tune, which works out fine. Eddie likes this process, likes to lose himself in the feeling out of tone and sound, nudging things along until the strings fall into perfect tension and balance. Has always found it soothing, and has had worse things to tune out than the way his fingers are shaking and his teeth feel like they’re jangling together in his mouth. So he can handle this. Settle his nerves, settle his body, and then– then he’ll figure out what to do next.

He keeps playing once she’s roughly in good shape. Not quite a melody, more just. Plucking. Strumming. Seeing what warbling chords he can coax out of her, this shadow twin of his first love. Like he’s reaching for something, a sound, grappling his way towards an effect he can’t name.

In a weird way, it’s like he expected it, when the first bat flaps right into the trailer. He doesn’t stop playing for even a second when it lands heavily on the arm of the couch next to Eddie, nasty little jaws clicking, eyeless face turning this way and that like it’s trying to figure out what the fuck it’s doing in here.

Eddie can relate. But that solidarity isn’t enough to keep him from reaching out, hand rock steady and lightning fast, grabbing the bat by its freaky long neck and bringing it right to his teeth. He doesn’t even have to let go of the neck of his guitar with his other hand as his eyes roll shut, sudden strength in his fingers holding the bat still as he bites down and drinks deep.

He’s too awake, right now. Too clear on what’s happening, too– too relieved, even as he gags a little on the murky sour taste, the oily consistency.

He heads out of the trailer after a little while, leaving five demobat husks on the floor, guitar slung across his back and Wayne’s favorite Colts hat jammed over his hair. It was on this side of the gate after all, on the floor just a foot away from the jagged edge. That’s all he takes with him, for now. Maybe he’ll come back this way, maybe not, but he doesn’t see much point in weighing himself down with anything else. He feels a little better. Fuck shit goddamn Jesus H Christ fuck goddamn it, but he can’t deny that he feels a little better.

[andiatas]

Everybody say hello to Queen Ana of Flufferton!

She landed here in Sweden on Tuesday & has now been living with me for a few days. Ana is a 7-year-old podenco & galgo español mix who spent the first couple of years as a hunting dog (hence the many scars) but one day she was just dumped at a dog rescue. No one knows why she was abandoned but she stayed there for a couple of years before she was moved to SOS Animals dog rescue in Malaga.

I spotted her on their website already in Dec. 2021 & fell in love with her immediately. She sounded like the perfect dog but I wasn't in a position to welcome her then. Then back in autumn 2022, I went on their website & she was still there! Despite having been up for adoption for over a year & half, no one had adopted her yet!

So I answered the questionnaire & had two interviews before it was decided that Ana was going to come live with me. I was a bit worried that maybe they would say no, seeing as I'm a university student & that I was clear that it's not until the beginning of 2023 that I could welcome her into my home. But I was accepted, all of the payments went through & then it was decided that Ana was gonna fly into Sweden with three other dogs from the dog rescue on Jan. 17.

Of course, as the time pessimist that I am, I ended up being at the airport almost two & half hours earlier than I needed 😂 Did some people-watching & managed to do some reading for uni but, most of the time was spent drinking coffee & nervously combing my hair (a bad habit of mine).

One of the dogs was really stressed out & aggressive, the other two were young little puppies & then we had Ana who was cool as a cucumber. Most likely wondering why we disturbed her during her nap! But yes, Ana was the first one allowed out from her cage. A little confused but calm & curious over where she had ended up.

As you can see, I had a leash, collar & harness with me. Of course in purple, seeing as that colour is associated with royalty & Ana is called a princess by everyone who has met her! But we decided to not switch collars or harness there at the airport. Apart from what she was wearing, she was also travelling with some more clothes - a gift from the dog rescue in Malaga seeing as she had been there for almost 2 years.

One of Ana's favourite things is to ride in the car but seeing as I don't have my driver's license yet, I booked "the dog taxi" to drive us from the airport back home (about a 40-45-minutes ride). The first few minutes were exciting & then she slept almost the whole way 😂 Now Ana is a lady of strong integrity, she loves humans & she loves humans' attention but she doesn't like other dogs. Well, if they're calm & stay out of her face, then dogs are okay. The cage is to make sure no accidents happen but it also makes her relax. I could have removed it during the ride but seeing as I was a complete stranger to her, she was in this new & weird environment (what's that white thing on the ground?), you know, all these impressions etc. I figured if she now relaxes more when wearing it, I'm just gonna let her wear it until we're home.

As you can see in the photo, one of the first things she did was test out my bed & I think it's safe to say it passed the test 😂 Though, we have now ended up in a situation where if I spend "too much" time at the office/living room or in the kitchen, Ana starts to cry & complain. So a mere part of the day is spent in the bedroom so she can keep an eye on me whilst also cosy up on my bed or in the dog bed.

Some photos are taken by me & some are from SOS Animals. If you want to learn more about podencos, galgos or the situation for those breeds in Spain, you can check out Galgos del Sol.

[queen-ofsunflowers]

Day by Day - Chapter 7 Preview

Unpleasant Business

A few days after their work studies began, it had become obvious that Midoriya had let his guard down at school. However, before Ruby had the chance to confront him about it in class that morning, her attention was caught by something else.

“Holy crap, Kirishima! Take a look at this!” said Kaminari with a bright grin. He leaned over Kirishima’s seat, holding his phone out to him. “Your hero name’s all over the news sites today— it’s freakin’ crazy!” Wait, it was?! With a little burst of speed, Ruby was by Kaminari’s and Kirishima’s sides in an instant.

“Lemme see!” she said, unable to contain her excitement any longer. She leaned over her friends’ shoulders to get a good look at Kaminari’s phone screen. “‘Newcomer Sidekick Red Riot Bursts onto the Scene! He rescued innocent civilians and fought a villain on his very first patrol!’ Oh yeah, Yang told me about this.” She flashed a bright grin to her fellow redhead. “You were pretty awesome, Kirishima!” From behind her, Bakugo let out a growl.

“You act like he’s the only one!” said Mina, smacking Ruby playfully on the shoulder. She took Kaminari’s phone and pulled up another article. The picture under the headline depicted both Tsuyu and Ochako mid-fight against a villain with a gigantism Quirk. “Check out Tsu and Uraraka! ‘New Sidekicks at Ryukyu Agency. Two there for a work study.’ That’s so cool!”

Tsuyu and Ochako were over their shoulders in a second to get a look at it for themselves.

Ochako’s face had turned a bright shade of red as she stared at the article. “Wow, I can’t believe this is real!”

“When did they even snap that picture?” wondered Tsuyu aloud.

“Oh hey, you know what?” said Mina enthusiastically. “You might already have your own fan club like Mt. Lady does!” The thought of having a fanclub all their own made Ochako’s cheeks go pinker.

“I’m so jealous!” squealed Hagakure.

“And check on this one,” said Jirou. She twisted around with her phone in hand. “‘New hero in training at STRQ. She’s quick, cute and efficient. Even more importantly, she manages to get the job done.’ They included a picture of Rose too with one of the upperclassmen.” Ruby immediately rushed over, leaning over Jirou’s shoulder to get a look. Sure enough, there was a picture of her and Jaune on the top of the article, right after they had taken down that weird phantom villain the other day.

She didn’t even realize someone had snapped a picture of them in the first place.

“You have provisional licenses now, so the public sees you as heroes,” said Iida, snapping Ruby to reality. “I must thank you for your service. However….” Ruby let out a yelp as Iida pulled her back away from Jirou’s desk. “A student’s top priority should be academics!” Ruby sighed. He was right, but… just not what she wanted to focus on right now, if she was being honest.

“Yeah, let’s learn stuff! We got this!” said Kirishima, hyped up and turning to the others currently involved with work studies. “Right?” Midoriya grunted, just as fired up.

“Wait,” said Kaminari as Iida removed his hand from Ruby’s shoulder. “Did you guys tell us you’d been having trouble with your assignments lately?” That… was true. With their work studies, they were missing out on class time. However…

“The teachers said that they’d set up some extra lessons for us,” said Kirishima. That. Ruby suspected that it was a staple of the work studies that they would have to deal with for now. It was worth it, though.

“Maybe I should have checked into those,” mused Sero. “I am totally slipping.”

“Remember, we all learn at our own pace,” Momo told him from across the room. Sero huffed a sigh.

“Yeah, who cares, right?” said Kaminari, though he still sounded a little nervous about his grades. Ruby didn’t blame him. Her own test scores weren’t good either. Ruby softly laughed to herself. They were all gonna get them because of their work studies, but… As she passed him by, Ruby saw something… wrong with Midoriya. He looked down about something, but what it was…

The full chapter will be up on Ao3 on August 19th!

[neworleansspecial]

The Patient (Space Outlaw AU)

Summary: Crockett wakes up in the hold of a spaceship belonging to six fugitives, who abducted him because one of them needs medical attention.

Warnings: Blood/Injury, Medical, Threats, Mild Violence, Kidnapping

WC: 4.1k | AO3

“Shut up, he’s awake.”

The voice is feminine and humanoid, with a familiarly soft intonation behind the words. Still, Crockett knows he’s been spotted as awakening already, so he sees no point in pretending otherwise. His vision swims and sparkles when his eyes first open. Slowly, the kaleidoscopic view sharpens into a young woman’s face.

“And? He’s a witness and we’ll kill him when we’re done no matter what.”

This second voice is also feminine and humanoid, but with a different accent and a crisp sense of finality, proving his life as inconsequential to her as her words would seem to imply. Crockett can’t see this speaker, so he instead continues to focus on the first.

“Glad you’re awake, Doctor,” she says, fussing with a blanket draped over his midsection, too small to be of much actual use. “I’m sorry about the… well. I suggested we just hire a doctor, but what do I know? Sexton, by the way.”

Sexton extends her hand for Crockett to shake. “Marcel,” he replies. “You suggested hiring someone, but I don’t recall any paperwork, so I take it this is an emergency?”

“You’re surprisingly calm,” the second voice says.

When it does, Sexton’s head whips around, and Crockett follows her gaze to another woman, this one with no engine grease on her coat or dirt beneath her nails. “Would you prefer it if we had to Yeller another doctor because they weren’t?”

“No.” She comes forward into the light now, and crouches in front of Crockett. Sexton is seated, shooter idle in her hands but armed, and appears less of a threat than the other woman. “We don’t have the time. It’s just weird.”

Inch by inch, she takes in Crockett’s entire body. Every speck of dirt and dust caked into his shoes, the trail of dried blood down his face from the abduction he doesn’t remember, and each individual eyelash is studied with a surgical precision.

“What did you do before medicine?

Crockett smiles at her. “Used to just study it. Then I got a license to practice.”

She doesn’t find this amusing, and stands up to better kick him in the ribs. Without waiting for the pain to subside, she grabs one of his arms to pull him upright. Sexton takes the other and, between the two of them, they find themselves able to prop Crockett up in a standing position and mostly drag him away from what he determines must be the hold of whatever ship they’re in. There’s no point in struggling, but he chooses to go limp and force them to exert the energy to carry a rag doll of a man to the poor bastard Crockett is presumably here to treat.

"I'll let you lovely ladies know I'm no use to you dead," he drawls out. "Whatever's wrong with your friend, it's bad enough that you kidnapped someone."

"Threatening us?" The second speaker asks. "Hear that, April?"

Crockett recognizes the name together. April Sexton has a bounty on her head so high he could afford to stop working overtime. Last he checked, it was all sorts of things- treason, arson, murder, reckless endangerment, desertion, etcetera.

"120 is no small sum," he adds.

Sexton almost doesn't acknowledge it. "Small for this crew."

Finally, the second woman meets Crockett's eyes. "Ava Bekker. It's your pleasure to meet me. I've been on so many wanted posters I should start collecting royalties. And if anything, and I mean anything, happens to Connor, it's your ass on the line."

“Connor would be the patient, then?”

Bekker doesn’t respond to him. Her bounty is even higher, and he’s heard of her. Most people have these days, even if her face is harder to come by. His attention skitters down to the utility belt around her hips. Maybe he’ll have the opportunity to take something from it later, just as a last resort because this has been nothing but ugly thus far, and he has no confidence it’ll improve.

She drops him outside a door with a keypad, leaving April to barely keep him from collapsing completely. If he were a patient at his own hospital, he’d be running a gamut of tests for all the potential injuries. The head wound alone is enough to worry. He can’t allow it to make him a liability to these mercs, however, so he struggles to support his own body weight with the help of the wall. Bekker keys in the code too fast for him to memorize.

“He’s in here.”

Crockett is ushered forward between the two women to see the patient. Connor is a lean built man, Earth-Moon pale with blood loss on the sheets around him, and dark hair that looks like it’s been long weeks in need of a trim. The blood doesn’t look all fresh; mostly it has gone maroon pitched closer to brown and crackling on the sheets under him, turning redder and glossier the closer it gets to the actual injury on the lower right quadrant of his abdomen. No part of him is dry, though, as the places the blood doesn’t reach have turned tacky with sweat.

“How long has he been bleeding?” Crockett asks. “And why is he like this? Let- We’ll need to get him off this mess. Get him cleaned up, and then I can look at it better. Is he hurt anywhere else?”

He reaches for Connor, but Bekker grabs his arm before he makes contact. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to check on him, ma’am, like you asked. Can we get him clean, please?”

Sexton ducks out of the room to yell down the hallway while Bekker picks Connor up. She’s much gentler with him than she had been with Crockett, but still more or less fails to keep his limbs from hitting the door frame as she drags him into a small ensuite. He groans when she plops him into the bathtub.

“He got stabbed a couple days ago. He said he was fine at first, but then he wasn’t getting up, and he’s feverish.”

“Hmm.” Crockett adjusts Connor’s position to something more comfortable before Bekker throws a washcloth at him, presumably with which to clean Connor up. “Humanoid…?”

“In a sense. He got a little freaky’d in the tube.”

Crockett glances up at her. “Do you have alcohol? The higher content, the better. What does that mean? I need to know what I’m dealing with here.”

A plastic bottle hits the back of his head and makes bile rise in his throat. Fireworks dazzle his vision again. He fumbles blindly for it until he’s able to identify the label. Isopropyl. He rinses his hands to the best of his ability before he soaks the washcloth to clean Connor up.

“He’s a Rhodes, if that means anything to you. Couple minor mutations, but human for what it’s worth.” The door opens and shuts loudly from the main room. “That’ll be April changing the sheets. Done yet?”

“Nearly. Does he have…” Crockett gestures vaguely with one hand as he checks Connor for any other injuries in need of attending. “Surely he owns a pair of pants.”

She pauses for a moment. “Are you distracted, Doctor?”

It isn’t nudity interrupting his focus, but something in the razor sharp edge of her voice makes it clear he has to impress that fact upon her. His life depends on it. “Not at all, but the wound is above the waist, and I try to respect my patients’ privacy.” He holds out the washcloth and Bekker replaces it with a clean one for him to resoak. “I’ll need supplies. Gloves Antibac. And he’s going to want painkillers when he starts coming around, I guarantee it. And this probably needs stitches.”

“Kit’s by the bed.”

He shortly finishes up cleaning away the blood he can and inspects the wound closer under the bathroom fluorescents. There’s no obvious foreign contaminants when he tugs lightly at the undamaged skin a few inches away, and the tissue looks swollen and irritated, but not necrotic. It’s most likely an infection, which he might treat with intravenous medication at his hospital, but will be unable to here. He finishes his brief examination and gets out of the way for Bekker to lift Connor from the tub, bringing him to the doorway back to the main room so Sexton can help get him onto the bed. The sheets have been remade with crisp hospital corners.

“How many others are on board?” he asks.

“Three,” Sexton tells him. “Reese, Choi, and Captain Lanik.”

Bekker snorts. “Captain.”

Crockett retrieves the kit from bin next to the bed frame and thankfully finds individually wrapped gloves. It must be his personal emergency kit, not a ship first-aid supply. “The injury, he was stabbed?”

“Yep.” She reaches into her utility belt and opens a pouch to produce a knife, which she waves in front of his face. “Three inch laceration, about two inches in depth.” It still smells like blood. “Took it at a fifty degree angle into the abdomen. It looked like a light switch.”

The image paints behind Crockett’s eyes vividly. “I see.” This prompts her to put the knife away, giving him the opportunity to dig through the kit for the needle and thread. Both are kept in sealed sterile packages like the gloves. He takes an alcohol wipe to give the area one last sterilization before stitching.

He has stitched up hundreds of patients with various species and planets of origins, and his hands have been steady for every knot of his career up until this point. Now, he notices a slight tremor when he pinches together the edges of the wound.

“Steady now,” Bekker says behind him.

While Crockett hears Sexton say something in response, he isn’t actually listening. The cut takes nearly a dozen tiny, precise knots to sew shut. He finds no sharps container, so he returns the needle to the remains of its packaging for now and gets a packet of antibac. He cracks the seal above the stitches and allows the serum to drip like honey along the row. It forms a greasy film, which Crockett then covers with a bandage square taped in place.

“That’ll need to be attended to frequently. He needs more care than I can give him here- antibiotics, for one, and I’d want scans to make sure-”

“That won’t be necessary at this time,” Bekker corrects.

At that he nods. “Next best thing is to keep me alive. If you had the know-how on your crew, I wouldn’t be here. So let’s play nice, if we can.”

“I like nice,” she says. “I can be real nice, right April?”

Sexton offers Crockett a hand to his feet. He discards his gloves and takes it, but still requires a fair amount of support to stay standing. Bekker walks out of the room a step behind them, hand poised at her belt.

“You should meet Captain Lanik.”

“Jimmyyyy!” Bekker calls in a sing-song voice behind them. “Wanna meet the doctor?”

Her antics make Sexton shake her head, but there’s a quirk of a smile on her lips as they traverse to what Crockett can only assume to be the navigation room. Unlike Connor’s sickbed, this room has no keypad, and the door is kept half-open with the creep of rust along its tract to prove that it hasn’t moved in some time. He touches it as they squeeze through.

Another dark haired man, shorter than Connor, sits atop a powered-down map table. Half of a granola bar hangs from his lips, forgotten, though not for the distraction of their entrance; he had glanced up, seen Sexton, and returned his attention to the tablet in his hand.

“Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.”

Jimmy Lanik takes the bar from his mouth and sets it on his knee. “Ava. Doctor, report?”

“I’m sorry?” Crockett says.

For the first time since they walked in, Lanik looks at him. In his life, Crockett has treated his fair share of mercs and criminals too, and some of them have this look in their eyes. Rather, it’s a lack thereof, where even when overheads shine sharp reflective bars off their eyes, there’s no real light behind them. It’s just blank. Lanik’s eyes aren’t like that, but there’s still something cold nestled there. A man with nothing to lose is dangerous, but a man with something poses a far bigger threat.

“Report. Surely you have to inform your colleagues on the status of your patients at shift change?”

A scoff escapes Crockett before he can help it. “Well, uh, he had a days-old likely infected wound upon presentation. We cleaned him up and changed his bedding. He received eleven stitches, antibac, and a bandage. I would’ve liked to do more, but the resources are limited.”

“Sure. He’s stable?”

Crockett nods.

“Excellent. What does he need?”

“I’d like an IV,” Crockett starts, counting off on his fingers. “He’s more than likely dehydrated, and the fever says infection, so fluids and a broad spectrum antibiotic. April Sexton and Ava Bekker are on this ship, so I have to assume there’s narcotics on board, which he could benefit from when he starts coming around.”

Bekker turns to him. “Care to elaborate?”

“No.” He steps back as far as Sexton’s hold on him allows. “I don’t have anything else to say on the matter.”

“Ave,” Lanik warns. “Don’t. Would you and Sarah go on the supply run?”

“I’d rather shoot myself in the stomach than leave him unattended.”

Crockett notes that neither Sexton nor Lanik correct the fact that even if she were to leave with Sarah--Reese, he has to assume, who was wanted for eighteen murders the last time he checked--there would still be three conscious members of the crew present. In lieu of a correction, Sexton stands up straighter and nudges Crockett to lean against a stack of crates. “I’ll take Choi, it’s really no problem.”

Another bite of his granola bar later, Lanik nods. “Good idea. I’ll set the course and we’ll land on the start of the next cycle. Dismissed.”

“You don’t decide when I’m dismissed,” Bekker snaps.

She still walks out right after Sexton, leaving Crockett and Lanik alone together. Lanik points at a chair opposite him. The plastic is hard, unyielding beneath Crockett when he sits. They sit in silence for several long minutes, during most of which Lanik doesn't even look at him. Once again, he becomes engrossed in his tablet, pausing occasionally to frown at something or curse under his breath. When the mood strikes him, which is twice during that time, he glances up at Crockett, appears satisfied by what he sees, and returns to the task at hand.

"You've got three people on this ship with tags on their head," Crockett finally says. "I get the sense maybe you all do."

Lanik smiles with a closed mouth as he types something on his tablet. "Not much worth doing without one."

"What's your claim to fame, Jimmy Lanik?"

"On the books, or off?"

Crockett gestures for him to go ahead. "Not like I can check what you say."

"On the books, I'm wanted for…" he pauses and looks at the ceiling as thinks, "forty-two counts of murder, thirteen counts of aggravated assault, five counts of unlawful imprisonment, seven counts of unlawful possession of a weapon, hundreds of stolen property charges, and-" he stops himself there. "They've got me for other stuff too, things I didn't do."

"Like?"

When Lanik looks Crockett in the eyes again, he can feel his heart start to pound. Even before hearing the list, he could sense that this was a man who wouldn't hesitate to make the decisions he felt necessary, regardless of potential consequences for Crockett.

"I didn't do it, so it doesn't matter." He finally climbs off the map table to approach the navigation console. A flick of his wrist pulls up the holograph projection control panel, and the slew of brightly colored buttons that glitch into place respond to the slightest movements of his fingers. Crockett always kind of imagined space craft to be navigated like old school planes, with switches and levers and a steering mechanism of some kind, but this appears to him much more similar to the act of playing a piano. Lanik operates the ship precisely and with an intense focus that Crockett presumes to be impenetrable until he continues. "Off the books, it's about Connor. There was an altercation, and we all happened to be there. I only knew him, at that point. We all made it out together on my ship, and we've stayed like this since. There's nowhere else for us." He frowns at the controls. "I know you can't with Ava, but be honest with me. Is Connor going to be okay?"

Crockett nods. "I'm hopeful. He'd have a better chance at a hospital, but I get it, that's not an option. The stuff Miss Sexton is getting should help."

"She'd have a field day, hearing you call her that." Seemingly finished with setting the course, Jimmy closes the controls and returns to the map table and his tablet. "She and Ethan will get painkillers, too. We don't keep narcotics or opiates on this ship typically, but this is an exception to the rule. I'll have those, no one else, so when Connor needs them, you ask me. Clear?"

"Crystal, Captain Lanik," Crockett replies.

Lanik makes a face. "Jimmy, if you don't mind, Doctor."

"Crockett."

"Doctor," Jimmy insists, and doesn't say anything else as he buries himself back in whatever his tablet has to offer.

Left to his own devices for the time being, Crockett looks around the navigation room with a more critical eye. He knows better than to move from the chair Jimmy ordered him to, but he can see the signs of a well-loved and well-used ship everywhere. Scuff marks litter the floor, some kicking up onto the mismatched replacement sheets covering the hardware of the computer system. A burned splotch of blaster fire colors the clearly broken edge of a small wooden table, which has two wooden chairs at it in the corner. Pasted up around it are old fashioned paper prints, glossy white but torn and frayed at the edges, of wanted posters. He recognizes Bekker, Sexton, Jimmy, and Connor. The other two belong to Sarah Reese and Ethan Choi, which must round out the crew of this craft.

"I apologize for the method of abduction."

He turns back to Jimmy, who is unsurprisingly still not looking at him.

"Not for the act itself, that's justifiable. But I know they hurt you more than they needed to, and I apologize. Are you in need of any medical care? I don't know what we can do, but if there's something you'd like us to get for you, I'll look into it."

"I wouldn't mind a shower and some clean clothes, if it's not a trouble. Maybe something to eat or drink?"

Jimmy considers this for a moment. "Fine. I'll escort you to the showers. You can walk?"

"With help."

He gets up and comes to help Crockett stand as well. The pace he takes is slower than Sexton and Bekker's, allowing Crockett to take his own steps even though each one is a struggle. In contrast to the private ensuite Connor has, the showers Jimmy leads them to consist of an open tiled room with four shower heads on one side, the floor angling toward a drain, and two benches bolted to the ground with towel-laden hooks and small lockers on the walls around them.

"I'll find you a towel and something to wear," Jimmy says. "Can you do this yourself?"

All things considered, the room seems spotless. There aren't stains anywhere he can observe, and the a faint whisper of disinfectant stings his nose on every inhale. He could sit under one of the showerheads.

"Yeah."

"Excellent. Soap is in the top right locker, use a new bar. Ten minutes."

He leaves and locks the door from the outside with a click. Crockett can hardly blame him, and decides that he may as well go ahead and shower since his chances of escaping at the moment are next to zero. He carefully makes his way to the bench to undress, and then to the lockers to get soap from the indicated one in the corner. A small stack of travel-sized bar soaps, like one might find at a hotel, take up most of the space, though there'd also a handful of small bottles that he assumes to be shampoo and/or conditioner. The labels are in a language he doesn't speak. Not willing to press his luck when he'd only been offered soap, he takes a bar and goes to the showerheads, turning one on to a quickly steaming spray before he sits on the tile.

Crockett typically has a good sense of time, but he doesn't want to risk being unfinished when Jimmy returns, so he makes the shower efficient despite the relief the warm water brings to his tense muscles. He starts off scrubbing the blood from his hair and skin, careful around bruises and scrapes and the head injury, then follows with the soap once the water runs clear toward the drain. It's less than a minute after he finishes rinsing that a loud knock comes from the door.

"I'm opening the door."

The lock clicks open and Jimmy enters, letting cold air in with him. He approaches from behind, reaching over Crockett’s shoulder to stop the water before draping the towel around him. He hands Crockett a neatly folded stack of clothes.

"I'll be by the benches."

Crockett hears him walk away and tucks the clothes under one arm as he uses the fixture to pull himself upright. He struggles to keep his balance and hold onto his clothes as he dries off, but asks for no help and Jimmy doesn't offer. It takes a minute, but eventually he's as dry as he can manage, and clothed in a too-tight shirt and a pair of lounge pants that hover above his ankles by a few inches.

He moves to face Jimmy, who has leaned against the wall and is studiously reading his tablet once more. Crockett clears his throat, earning a quick glance and a nod.

"Better?"

"Much, thank you."

"I'll take you back down to the hold. Someone'll bring you rations. Maybe me, maybe not."

The door to the hold is only a little ways away from the showers, and takes a matter of seconds to reach even at Crockett’s supported pace. They descend the ramp down and make their way to a dimly lit corner where Crockett must have initially woken up on the floor, judging by the blood he left behind. Someone has placed a thermal blanket nearby, as well as a small pillow and a bottle of water.

Jimmy lets go of Crockett only to walk up to the pipe against the wall, reaching into his pocket with the jangling rattle of silver cuffs. He secures one of them around the pipe with practiced ease. "Come here and give me your nondominant arm."

"What?" Instinctively, Crockett takes a step back and glances toward the door of the hold. "Come on, man, I haven't caused any problems. I haven't hurt anybody, or tried do anything-"

"Doctor, I'll repeat myself once today, and I won't do it again. Okay?" He lifts the empty cuff. "I view every issue as resolvable in one of two ways. Either you do what I ask you to, because I don't ask for no reason, or I can help you comply at your own risk. Would you like my help?"

Crockett swallows. "No."

He holds out his left hand to Jimmy and allows himself to be cuffed. The metal is tightened slowly, secured to keep him from slipping away, but not so much so as to dig into his wrist. The chain gives him a few inches of movement, and the smooth pipe allows him to stand, sit, or lay next to it.

Jimmy takes his leave, returning to the door and most likely back to the navigation room, but pauses at the doorway. Blue light silhouettes him as he stays like an empty shadowed statue with his muscles held in high tension.

"We're not what they say we are. Monsters, I mean."

"Do you hear yourself? Look at me."

He doesn't answer for a long stretch. Eventually, he advises, "Don't piss off Ava if you want to stay alive. She has a temper."

Jimmy shuts the door behind him when he goes, leaving Crockett to the dim emergency bulbs lighting the cargo hold.

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[raevenlywrites]

#reblog feral godmother#i would like to know how she and feral hogmother met#story#q

Funny story, really. I was following up on tales of a wild beast rampaging through the forest next door, just kind of a professional courtesy thing, making sure it wasn't one of my mine causing an undo ruckus, you know ( a due ruckus sure, I do work in feral magics, a certain amount of ruckus is par for the course - such as tearing up golf courses, go hog wild you have my blessing - but like you can't get classified as a natural disaster that's when Heroes start coming in and it gets messy)

So anyways, I make my way over to Woods-Next-Door and its really not that hard to follow the trail of smashed foliage and dented trees and shed clothing. And I'm like awww man this is one of mine and mentally flipping through my work calendar as I walk, trying to remember if any of my recent past clients had shown any signs of being too lost in the sauce.

And so I'm having a good walk-and-talk-to-myself, as one does, and suddenly I'm stopped by a chipmunk demanding a password. I'm like my dude I am a feral godmother and I whip out my godmothering license and I show him and its good for like the five surrounding kingdoms bc I dunno how far these kids come from seeking help ya know and he's like nah lady this is the WWEE I don't need your sticken license I need a fucken password. And I'm like thinking to myself I should turn this little shitstain into a human for a while and see how he handles thumbs and taxes but instead I reach into my bag and I'm like how bout a truffle and he takes the bribe bc of course he does and I continue on my way

So now I'm going through my mental roladex of past clients AND trying to remember wtf the WWEE is - its not a thing thats what it is but that rodent sure thought it was so whatever - and then I hear it. The most beautiful, terrifying, blood-curdling-but-somehow-still-in-perfect-pitch battlecry I've ever heard in my life-- followed by the sound of someone hitting a a sheet of badly dented plate armour with a folding chair.

Do not ask how I know exactly what that sounds like.

So I hurry on with a little more urgency now bc it sounds like the Heroes are already involved and maybe I'm about to have to save little Biffany from the wrong end of a lance--

And there she is, in a beam of sunlight (one painstakingly reflected into place by several tree dwelling forest creatures with lots of pieces of less dented but very shiny plate mail) - the most busted princess you've ever seen. This gal looks beat. She is bloody. She is muddy. She is wearing a pink dress that is more tears than fabric.

And she is wailing on a hog in a dress with a badly dented breast plate on over it.

The hog is clearly letting her have at it. She is keeping her center of gravity low, arms kind vaguely out like they might be menacing, but she's leaving her main body mass wide open. I know this hog knows how to fight, it is clear in how she holds herself. But Princess Busted Up is still screeching and hollering (all in perfect pitch, princesses are weird like that) and hammering on this hogfighter with that chair for all she's worth.

And under the sound of all that, small but ferocious, is the sound of dozens of woodland creatures cheering.

They're whoopin. They're hollerin. They're holding up signs that probably say "Go, Princess Whats-her-tits" except they're fucking rabbits and shit so its mostly just muddy paw prints on pieces of dried tree bark, but the scene is unmistakable.

WWEE

Wild Wrestling Ever Efter.

That's what the shirt on the kobold refing the match says. Misspelling and all.

Anyways I grab a bag of popcorn from the gnome slinging it, pass him a 10 spot and ask him to catch me up to speed. He tells me the hog in the plate is running kind of a therapy deal, kind of an underground fightclub, almost all entirely a racket. She goes out at night and stomps and shouts and smashes up a storm, pretending to be some kind of ogre or dragon or whatever, and the princesses "get themselves kidnapped" and come out to work off some frustration.

The local fauna love it. The underground betting warrens are insane.

I talk to the hog running it after the bout and offer to assist her with some of my feral magic bc if this doesn't call for a godmother intervention I don't know what does. Now the princesses can wish upon a hamhock and the feral hogmother will come quietly and discretely whisk them away to the WWEE for a night, and the Heroes Guild can sit the fuck put.

Its me, your feral godmother

[uniqueoneinca]

It's November

So, a lot of things have happened since I wrote. I am currently on disability due to my job. It's short-term, of course. I am really happy that I have some time to work on myself in dealing with what I get while at work. I have been being abused and feel stupid that I didn't realize it. I'm so used to trucking along through it all and just realized a few weeks ago what was happening. It affects you so much mentally when this toxic environment and narcissist boss happens. I did not realize that it happens as much as it does. I get on Reddit to look at the forums a lot and I saw so many posts that have a lot of the same situation going on. They even have groups about this shit.

I have a new psychologist and she said that I need to get out of the company asap. I need a job first, of course. I have been looking for about eight months and haven't found anything. I am still trying though, you can't give up. I told her that I would like to work on coping skills and my delivery. I have pretty much no filter and I say what is on my mind. Some people don't like that & others do like it. I like it when I communicate with people.

I talked to an ex-coworker yesterday and found out that she is now on disability as well due to the boss she had and I still have. She was fired by my fucked up boss about a year ago. A lady started working at her current job and is just like my boss and it brought back the trauma. That's pretty bad when you have been away from the person for that long. Mental abuse is rough. My boss needs to be stopped so she doesn't do this to anyone else in the future. There have been three people quit and two get fired due to my boss. It's disturbing.

My husband isn't a great support either. He tells me to suck it up. Way easier said than done. I don't need him barking at me while I am going through this. It's like double stress in my life.

I did get my health and life exam passed though, so this is great. Now I just have to do the livescan and apply for my license and I can sell health and life insurance. I have a company that I will be going through. I will see how that turns out. I planned on doing that part-time. I can't start until after I am off the disability though. I am on for a couple more months. I can do some field training in the process, but I won't be able to get paid. I have researched the company and it's legitimate, but they are like so overbearingly positive that it's weird for me. I don't get excited like they do. I have a certain way I want to do things when I am trained as well. I won't pressure people, I will educate them on their financial needs regarding life insurance and building wealth. I will have over 25 insurance companies to work with through the company I am going to be training with. I have a possibility to make a lot of money if I work real hard. The part I don't like is involving my family and friends. I always tell them when we will do a practice consultation they are in no way obligated and to say no and be firm. Sales people can't hound you. You can report them to the insurance commissioner with their license number.

While I was taking the test, it wasn't totally like the course I took to prepare myself, so I was thrown off. They use different wording in the exam. I'm just really happy that I did pass. It was like getting a C, but it's still a pass.

So, Trump won the election and that makes me super happy too. I was really worried about Kamala winning and am relieved that she didn't. The country needs to get better and Trump will help us get there. So many people hate him and it's unfair, but they don't hate him as much as they thought, because he got voted in.

[chloeworships]

Build up your reputation by being trustworthy, forthright, honest and respectful. People lacking integrity won’t make it far with people like Beyonce who is well respected in the game.

Also no one wants to eat from an establishment that serve’s stale food or expired products, babes. Save yourself the embarrassment and have things well planned out. Set a standard for yourself and your brand THEN you will attract clients, good contacts/jobs, and repeat customers. The LORD is trying to help someone here, cause someone like B is about to PULL UP 🩵✨😁

Opportunity of a lifetime ✨

PS. I heard

“Texas”

PPS: Coincidentally, I purchased a new car air freshener and it smelled ok but it was too overpowering over time and began to make me nauseous 🤢 Perhaps it was stale/expired. It began to smell weird. I didn’t see an expiration date when I purchased it. My cheap self bought it from the dollar store 💲😂

I tell you this because selling expired food and items has consequences including making people ILL 🤧 and then there goes your license and a possible lawsuit or worse, death. The LORD told me to share this experience.

This is important to me too because I like connecting people with people aka pluggin 🔌 and word of mouth is still the best marketing tool one can have 🔧

For some of you, you’re in ministry and a very prominent person or perhaps First Lady or woman pastor may want to connect 👒🩵 — this is a good person by the way. One full of integrity and is GIFTED. Favour is all over this person 🥰 I know this is someone EVERYONE in your industry wants to rub shoulders with.

Also, know your client. If you know a certain celebrity has a public (or private) feud with another celebrity, don’t compare that person with the intent to flatter the other. They could take offence. In customer service we call this KYC’s 😂 Don’t put your foot in your mouth.

Someone is trying TOO HARD to impress a public figure. It’s coming across as you being DISINGENUOUS… in other words FAKE and people can see through it. No need to apply too much pressure in your overexcitement. You can be a fan but this is 💲✨BUSINESS✨💲not love and not fun. These people don’t play about their money NOR their reputations. Be a PROFESSIONAL and beware of people who aren’t sincere, my loves. Just because it LOOKS GOOD, doesn’t mean it’s not ROTTEN FRUIT on the inside 🍏

God loves you this is why he’s telling you this. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. But now, you know 😂

This is for event planners too because I heard

“Party Packagers”

Recall I was left SCRAMBLING to get my products packaged and ready for B 😭 and I only had ONE BOX 📦 what if she wanted 50? 100? 100,000??? 👀

This kind of reminds of the event planner in the show Power. She required the best of the best of clubs to host her upscale celebrity events and EVERYTHING had to be meticulously arranged. She specifically didn’t want BAD PRESS for obvious reasons (bad PR). This is what is required when working alongside public figures babes.

Someone could not want to associate with you because of who you’re associated with. Keep that in mind also.

May the LORD be with you and grant you success.

PS. God doesn’t need us to be perfect, he just needs us to be real.