#she's not dealing with it in the healthiest way but she's also just a kid. she'll get there

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

Adopted Dadmas universe, set a few weeks after Damas called Samos out for harassing Jak. Keira has started questioning her upbringing for the first time, and is seeing some of her past interactions with Jak in a way she doesn't like. Warnings for past Samos being, well, typical game-characterization-Samos and being nasty to children.

"You're awful quiet," Tess observed. She put down her angle grinder for a moment and observed the younger girl seated at her workbench.

"Hey. You okay, sugar?"

Keira stared off into space for several seconds before remembering to inhale. She turned a guilty face to Tess and said, "I think I'm a bad person."

Tess’s hands stilled on the prototype.

"Oh," she sighed, "this is about y'all's messed-up childhood again, right?"

"He made Daxter sleep outside! He would pretend he couldn't understand Jak until Jak did exactly what he wanted!" Keira burst out, "How could I have ever thought that was normal?!"

Tess’s lips narrowed, and she imagined the bolt she was twisting was the sage's neck. "Well, because people like that work hard to convince kids that their behavior is normal when they're too young to know better. Gives 'em the control they're so desperate for. It wasn't your fault, Kiki."

"But I knew he was being mean!" Keira cried, throwing down her blueprint. "I knew everyone treated Daxter like dirt. I knew they made Jak and Daxter do too many of their chores! But they were so nice to me and I- I- argh!"

She shoved her bench back and paced the room angrily.

"Was I weak? Or just a- a brat!? A spoiled, selfish, mean little brat!"

Tess left the table to grab Keira by the shoulders. "Hey, whoa! Whoa whoa whoa! That's my friend you're talking about, there!"

Keira tried to shove Tess away, but Tess had an uncanny strength that belied her appearance.

"Hey. Look at me, sugar. I get it. Feels like revenge, right? Revenge on yourself? Like "how dare you feel good about yourself when your friends were so badly abused right under your nose". But baby, what does that accomplish, really? No, look at me. How does you calling yourself names help Daxter and Jak now?"

Keira dashed a hand across her eyes and shrugged sullenly. "Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it only helps me."

Tess scowled. "So Samos chooses to hurt those boys again and again and instead of holding him accountable the reasonable thing to do is hurt you? Put yourself down so you can feel as bad as they did? Girl, I love you, but how does that help?"

Keira didn't have an answer.

"I'm...I'm not trying to have a pity party," she finally admitted. "I'm not the victim here. I know I'm not- I'm like, the opposite of the victim. I'm complicit, Tess! How do we come back from that? How do I fix this? I can fix everything else? Why can't I just..."

She made a frustrated groan and let Tess pull her into a tight hug. "I'm so mad, Tess. At Daddy, at myself, at this whole stupid city. And I don't know where to put that anger."

Tess grimaced, but squeezed her friend tight. "Well. That puts you a little closer to understanding how Jak feels a lot, doesn't it?"

"I've been like. The worst friend."

"Doesn't mean you can't start being a better one," Tess countered.

For a few breaths, Keira was silent. It was hard not to give in to the recriminating thoughts. She had been the unwitting accomplice to so much harm, kept sheltered with blinders on as a tool to enforce a sense of normality on a "hero" who should've had the same childhood she did. And then even when free from Samos's influence for two years, she'd found herself gravitating towards people who manipulated her in the exact same way. And she'd taken Errol's side in a fight. The side of the very man who had caused all the traits she'd criticized in Jak. Thinking about it now made her want to vomit. How had she fallen under the sway of such people for so long? And how could she ensure it would never happen again?

"Tess," Keira sniffled, pulling back from the hug, "Can...can I ask a favor?"

"Of course, Kiki," Tess answered warmly, "What's up?"

A feeling of resolve hardened in Keira's chest as she took a deep breath. "You're a spy. You know how to read people like a book. Can...could you maybe teach me? How to tell when people are, are lying, or being manipulative? Stuff like that?"

She looked away. "I want to help the guys. And if I want to do that...I need to help me, too."

Tess’s sympathetic expression stretched into a wide grin. To anyone who knew her well, it would have been an ominous sight.

"Sugar, I thought you'd never ask."

_________________________________________

And meanwhile, the absolute Mood Whiplash of what's happening just outside the city, in the mountains

_________________________________________

"I miss our dog."

"Your dog," Daxter corrected, without bothering to open his eyes.

"That's cold, Dax," Jak whispered, "How can you just disown our boy like that?!"

"Remember when he pooped in my kitchen??" Daxter asked incredulously.

"He's just a baby! He can't help it!" Jak hissed back. He rolled over on his cot to poke at Daxter's hammock. "C'mon. Don't tell me you and Tess aren't gonna have pets when all this is over. You aren't fooling anyone."

Daxter leaned out of the hammock to swat at Jak's hand. "Oy! Decent folks is tryin ta sleep, here! And for your information, we're gonna have a cabbit hutch! And a butterfly garden! And Chopper is not allowed to eat my butterflies!"

"You don't know that he would!"

Jak sat up, about to further argue the merits of the dog he'd left with Tess, when a sound akin to a growl rose from the other side of the tent. Both boys quailed and settled back into their beds.

"Jak started it!" Daxter tattled, then pulled his blankets up to his nose.

"Sorry, Pa." Jak smirked and ducked under his own woven blanket.

Damas flung his arm over his eyes and grunted disapprovingly.

"We're on the move at dawn," he reminded them, "I suggest you use the remaining hours wisely. The clan rendezvous point is a four hour hike, so for the record, depriving your father of sleep is not a wise choice."

The little scoff of laughter he heard on the other side of the tent did not sound particularly like a pair of teenagers about to heed common sense. But as it could just as easily have been Jak still delighting in the novelty of someone deliberately claiming the title of his father, Damas could let it go. For now. If they didn't quiet down, though, they were both going to be walking down the mountain while he rode in the commandeered hellcat.

[doomhands-jr]

Pairing: Delinquent!Noah Sebastian X Pastor's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Needles, underage drinking, explicit language. This is the last filler chapter before shit starts picking up again.

Masterlist

Thanks to @flowerynerds for the banner!

Thanks to @throughwoodsanddirt for the beta!

______________

The late morning streamed into your room, flooding the ornamental rug in dappled sun. A light snow had begun collecting at the bottom of your window, but the cloud cover wasn’t yet dense enough to obscure the light. 

You’d woken up several hours ago but hadn’t worked up the wherewithal to drag yourself out of bed. Instead, you’d spent the time scrolling through various social media apps, keeping up to date with how your friends were spending their winter break. 

Your mom had Facetimed you that morning to check in. She’d updated you all about the trip she and your father were on. Several prominent members from a network of churches in the region had flown to some obscure part of Africa and were currently building a school and a church. They were planning to open it on Christmas Eve and have a dedication ceremony. They’d also purchased toys for the kids to open on Christmas morning. Her excitement poured through on her face and in her voice, and despite your reservations about missions trips, you smiled. 

As much as you wished middle-class families could participate in philanthropy and still respect the cultural belief systems of the people they were visiting, a school was a school, and you hoped it would be a net positive to the village. 

Once you got off the phone with her, your stomach began to rumble, so you rolled over and dug through a drawer in your nightstand you’d designated as your snack drawer until you pulled out a pack of cinnamon pop-tarts. Probably not the healthiest breakfast you could have chosen, but whatever—you ate them without tasting, continuing to scroll while your thoughts drifted to yesterday.

You heaved a sigh, unsure how to proceed with Noah. He seemed like he was the real deal, but then again, he had seemed like that before and ended up hurting you anyway. Now, he was weaseling his way back into your heart, burrowing under your skin and making himself comfortable as an uninvited guest. Worse still, you found yourself growing soft for him, which was a problem for you.  

It was possible that you were blinded by your attraction to him, giving him the benefit of the doubt because you were naïve and wanted him to be better than he was. 

But yesterday, he’d treated you with more respect than you’d ever received from a man. It didn’t feel performative, either… Your intuition told you he was being honest, but even if he wanted to do better—was he capable? Could he turn his behavior around that easily? Was it all an act just to get back into your good graces? 

You came upon a video that broke you out of your thoughts. Ava had posted herself and her little cousins playing some card game you didn’t recognize. You smiled, noticing how old they were getting. You’ve been close with Ava’s family since middle school and remember when her cousins were first born. As much as Ava fought with her parents, her cousins were always a soft spot for her. 

You replayed the video, brushing the crumbs off your shirt when you heard a knock at your door. 

Speak of the devil…

Cautiously, you slid off your bed and padded over to the doorway, opening it to find a very out-of-breath and sweaty Noah in a black tracksuit and puffer jacket. Impressive, in light of the cold. 

“Hi?” you said, the question likely as evident on your face as it was in your voice. 

“Hey,” he said, watching you observe the sweat that clung to his forehead. “I jogged here.” 

“I can see that,” you replied, fighting a smile. “What’s up?” 

“Do you wanna come work out?” he asked.

Your face contorted with confusion. “Work out? Right now?” you asked, leaning back into your room and checking the weather on the other side of the window. “It’s snowing.” 

“Well, yeah,” he said. “The gym isn’t that far away. I was on my way and thought I’d stop by and see if you wanted to join.” 

You pouted. “Gross.” 

Noah’s face scrunched up as he snickered at you. “Come on,” he pressed. “It won’t be that bad.”  

You wrinkled your nose. “It sounds hard.” 

Noah rolled his eyes. “Go get changed. We’re going to the gym.” 

____________

“Ten,” Noah breathed. “Alright, you can do it. Give me two more and then you’re done.” 

You tensed your whole body, squeezing your core as he’d instructed, the iron bar heavy across your shoulders, knurling cutting into your skin and bruising the back of your neck. 

“I don’t understand why you want to see me suffer so badly,” you panted, struggling under the weight.  

Noah laughed. “Call it a kink. Come on, you can do it.” 

You flushed at his remark, diverting your gaze from his for a moment to collect yourself, and when you locked eyes with him once again in the mirror in front of you, his expression told you he knew exactly where your mind had gone. 

He stood behind you, arms outstretched and ready to catch the bar should you fail. You dipped down into a squat, legs straining to keep you balanced and steady, and then with monumental effort, you brought yourself back up to standing. 

“One more,” he said, voice coming out low and soft to soothe against the burn you felt in your thighs. “I’ve got you.” 

You didn’t think you could do it, every muscle protesting against you, but you’d come this far. You dipped down once more, feeling your legs start to give out. When you got to the lowest point of the squat, you got stuck, legs beginning to give out under the weight of the iron. 

“Come on, get it up,” Noah said, voice gaining in volume. You squeezed your eyes shut, gritting your teeth as you concentrated on standing. A few more moments of strain, and then Noah’s hands grasped you around your middle, warm and firm on either side, holding you steady. He added just enough leverage that slowly, inch by inch, you moved the bar until you were back to standing. 

As soon as you re-racked the bar, you collapsed onto the black rubber mat of the gym floor. Sprawled out, chest heaving to catch your breath, you looked over to Noah, who fought to hide a smile behind a hand that pretended to scratch at his lip. 

“And you willingly subject yourself to this kind of torture?” you said, legs somewhere between numb and burning. You kneaded the soft flesh, trying to bring back sensation into the limbs, now draped uselessly in front of you.

“Give it a few tries. You’ll get addicted to it,” he said, taking a seat next to you and removing the cap from his water bottle. 

The gym he’d taken you to was in an old warehouse that had used to store lumber, Noah had mentioned on the snowy walk there. Inside, an array of rusted equipment littered the room with no real rhyme or reason. You had no idea what most of it was even used for. 

The gym was mostly empty on a Thursday morning. Across the room, a middle-aged man performed set after set of bicep curls in front of the mirror. In the corner, a thirty-something woman jogged on a treadmill, and two teenage boys took turns bench pressing, which you only knew because Noah had given you a run-down of the most basic strength training exercises, as well as lectured you on why they were so important. 

“You can either choose to suffer in ways you can control now or be forced to suffer in ways you can’t control later,” he said. 

You rolled your head across your shoulders to look at him. “What are you even talking about?” 

He rested his weight behind him on his palms and looked down at you with a patient sort of condescension. 

“You’re young and fit now,” he said, “but that goes away more and more every year. Pretty soon, you’ll wake up with back pain and hip pain and all that other stuff. The longer you let it go, the worse it gets, and the longer it takes to fix. If you build a good foundation now, it’s a lot easier to maintain.” 

“Ugh,” you scoffed, leaning back onto the floor and staring at the metal roof above. He had a point, but you hated when he got all preachy—you’d had enough of that in your life. “What got you into working out?” 

“My job,” he said. “It’s really hard on the body—too much repetitive motion.” As if to hammer his previous point home, he hoisted himself up by the side of the squat rack and began loading heavy iron plates onto either end of the bar. “My body is my instrument.” He stepped under the bar, situating himself in the center to evenly distribute the load across his shoulders before he heaved the bar off the rack. “I have to take care of it.” 

You allowed yourself to watch unapologetically, taking in the corded ropes of his hamstrings, the broad expanse of his shoulders, the sweat that dripped down from his forehead, off the end of his nose, and down his chest, pooling in the space above his collarbones. The hard set of his jaw as he focused on his form. He bottomed out in his squat, pausing for a moment before exhaling a heavy breath, then ascended, every muscle in his legs straining against his skin until he stood tall and proud. 

And then he repeated it. 

_________

“Jesus?” 

“Yeah…and?” 

Noah winced, hissing through his teeth. Every time he booked a tattoo session, he was confident that he was familiar enough with the sting of a tattoo needle that it wouldn’t faze him, and every time, he was proven wrong. 

“Nothing, I just…I thought it would have come up before now.” 

Noah couldn’t see your reaction from where he sat in the chair, but he could tell you were mulling over the large portrait of Jesus Christ done in American traditional style on his back. 

“I didn’t want you to read too much into it,” he said, sucking in a breath and holding it while Winston, his tattoo artist, colored in a particularly sensitive spot right over his spine. 

He could tell that was exactly what you were doing by how quiet you were. The Jesus tattoo had started out as a joke—something that allowed him to reclaim a bit of religious iconography in an almost tongue-in-cheek way. As he absorbed more pain from the needle over multiple sessions, however, it morphed into something else. 

In his mind, the figurehead represented a belief that suffering was ultimately the path to righteousness. Not suffering in an unnecessary or gratuitous way, but suffering as in self-sacrifice. And not righteousness in the way Christianity frames it, but from a mental health perspective. 

Noah’s mental health had always been a delicate instrument with which he’d had to tinker. Lately, he’d been learning more and more about what improves it and what causes it to tank. Humble work through low-level suffering has been the best way for him to take control of his psyche. Engaging in pleasures of the flesh was fine every once in a while, but ultimately left him feeling empty. 

It was something he supposed Jesus probably knew all along. Perhaps that what was Christianity should have been about. 

“So why Jesus?” Your curious voice broke him out of his thought pattern. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I saw it in a flash book one time and I just liked it. It doesn’t have any meaning.” 

It did, actually, but he wasn’t ready to unpack all of that yet, let alone admit it. Maybe with time. 

“I’m thinking of getting one,” you said. Noah tried to turn his head to look at you, but his artist tutted and directed him to keep still. 

“Like what?” Rather than look at you, Noah instead focused on the wall of framed artwork in front of him. Hundreds of tattoo designs hung on the wall ahead—sometimes several to one page. Noah had two of the designs on him: one a floral symbol on his hand, the other was a heart with a burning cross on top of it that he’d chosen to incorporate into his back piece. 

“I liked this little rose I saw in one of the flash books,” you said. 

“I could fit in a palm-sized flash tattoo after I’m done with him. My last appointment cancelled. Damn snow,” said Winston. 

“How much?” you asked. 

“Depends on what you want.” 

He heard your footsteps behind him as you walked away and came back a few minutes later. Noah held his breath—Winston was working on filling something in right below his armpit and it took everything in him to keep still. He wished you would hurry up—the conversation with you was a good distraction for him. 

“This one,” you said. You must have been holding the flash book up for the artist. Noah wished he could see which one you were referring to. 

“Black and white or color?” Winston asked. 

“Color.” 

“Same size as the picture?” he asked. 

“Can you do smaller? Like half the size?” 

“Sure thing. That’ll probably run you about one-twenty.” 

“What about for black and white?” 

“If you just want linework, we can do eighty. If you want shading, it’ll be a hundred.” 

“Is there an ATM nearby?” 

“Right across the street,” said Winston. “But we take card.” 

Noah gritted his teeth as the needle ran across a nerve, but he was finally starting to adjust to the feeling. It always took him a few minutes before he got in the zone. 

“I don’t want the charge to show up.” 

Winston huffed out a laugh as a response. He wasn’t overly-talkative, which Noah liked. He’d been going to Winston on and off for the last two years for his back piece, which was so large it took several sessions. He could have done it faster, but tattoos weren’t cheap, and piece work didn’t exactly pay a fortune. It took several months to save up for a session, and then he’d usually drop six hundred at once and sit for hours at a time. 

Today, however, was just a short session. He’d received a small Christmas bonus and had some spare time, so he’d called up Winston that morning to see if he could get squeezed in. Since half the town had gone home for the holidays, the artist’s schedule was open. The last thing he’d expected was for you to want to tag along. 

The bell for the shop chimed and Noah heard you walk back in. 

“Did you decide on color?” asked Winston. 

“Yep! I’m still deciding on where to get it though. I don’t want my parents to see it.” 

“You could always get an ass tattoo,” said Noah. He’d meant it as a teasing remark, but the way you paused to consider it had his gut turning even more noticeably than the needle currently stabbing ink into his spine. 

________

“You’re being ridiculous, you know.” 

Noah didn’t think he was being ridiculous. If anyone was being ridiculous, it was you. 

“It’s called having manners,” he defended. He stared straight ahead at a blank corner of the shop, fists clenched, trying to determine whether the paint on the wall was a true red or if it had a slight orange tint to it. 

“It’s called being uptight,” you said. 

He didn’t blink, set on winning the staring contest he was holding with the wall. “You’re one to talk.” 

“I’m not the one hiding my nose in a corner because I can’t look at a girl’s hip.” 

Noah rolled his eyes, turning around to face the bench and finding you sprawled across it, face down with the waistband of your pants pulled low on the right side. He swallowed, steeling himself against the sight lest his face betray his thoughts. 

“Is mocking me distracting you from the pain?” he asked. 

“Little bit.” 

He relaxed at the same time you hissed and buried your face in your arms. Hesitantly, he allowed his eyes to run over the curve that stretched from the small of your back to the height of your ass cheek and back down to the top of your thigh. 

The tattoo artist ran his needle over the stencil, outlining the small rose nestled right where your ass and hip met, just below where the waistband of your underwear would sit—he could tell from the vague hint of a tan line still left over from the summer you’d spent at the camp you told him about. 

He could picture you there, getting out of the pool with a wet T-shirt draped over your body because the church camp had rules about modesty when it came to swimwear. Despite your best intentions, the shirt still clung to your curves, the hem riding up to reveal the swell of your ass, bikini bottoms suctioned against the skin, water dripping down your thighs, and… 

“Like what you see?” 

Noah’s eyes snapped up to meet yours. You peeked at him over your shoulder with a knowing smile playing on your face.

“Shut the fuck up,” he spat, but it came out whinier than he’d intended. 

You burst into a fit of barely-suppressed giggles. 

“Hold still,” commanded Winston. 

You whispered an apology and tucked your lips between your teeth to keep from laughing until karma intervened and you winced at a sore spot.  

________

“What do wanna do next?” you asked, practically skipping out of the shop in your post-tattoo high. 

“Nothing,” said Noah from behind you.  

You stopped in your tracks and looked up to find him staring back down on you without any expression you could read. “What?” 

“Look around you,” he said gesturing to the snow. You did, recognizing the wind and snow could put a damper on the evening if you let them, but they didn’t have to. 

“Okay, and?” you asked. 

“It’s a fucking blizzard out. Come on,” he said curtly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of your dorm. “I’m getting you home.” 

Perhaps it was your temper, or perhaps you were still buzzing from the thrill of getting  your first tattoo but you ripped your hand out of his. “No.” 

Noah spun back around to face you. The wind whipped his hair in front of his face. “What do you mean no? I’m taking you home.” 

“I’m not ready to go home. I want to do something else.” 

Noah sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Like what?” 

“I want to get a drink,” you said, scanning the streets for any nearby bars. 

Noah crossed his arms, tongue prodding at the inside of his cheek. “Are you even old enough to get into a bar?”  

“No, but Folio said he got into bars all the time when he was underage.” You didn’t always listen to Nick when he monologued instead of completing his community service, but that story clung to your mind. 

Noah sighed again. “I told you, I don’t want to overstay my welcome. We’ve already been hanging out most of the day. I don’t want to get in too deep.” 

“You’re not,” you protested. “Besides, you may not deserve it, but I do.” 

At that, he stilled, and you continued. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to be the perfect Christian daughter, okay? I’m so tired of playing it safe. I want a taste of freedom. I’ve earned it. And to be honest, you sort of owe me after the way you treated me.” 

He pursed his lips, considering it, but you already knew you had him backed into a corner with that last remark. A moment later, his shoulders dropped in resignation. “One drink, and then we’re going home.” 

You let out a sound of delight, skipping again to catch up to Noah and then grabbing onto his sleeve when the snow caused your boot to nearly slide out from under you. 

________

“Try not to die on the way there,” he muttered. 

Noah studied the stained glass of the lamp that hung above the pool table, trying to decide whether the red spots were leaves or flower petals. Or were they feathers? 

He wouldn’t let his eyes drift lower, because if he did, he’d have seen your exposed lower back, arching as you bent over the pool table to line up your shot. 

Inside the bar was sweltering. The bartender had mentioned the temperature control on the furnace was on the fritz, and the only options were either letting it run continuously or shutting it off and letting the patrons freeze. 

Sweat beaded at Noah’s temples and at the back of his neck, causing his hair to stick uncomfortably to the skin. Taking an elastic from around his wrist, he gathered his hair and tied it in a knot on top of his head. Even the thin short-sleeved shirt he wore began collecting sweat on the back. 

When the two of you had arrived at his favorite dive bar, the Empty Keg was nearly just that—empty. Nobody had carded you, so Noah had led you to a small table near the back of the place behind the pool tables and told you to sit tight while he ordered drinks from Steve, the familiar bartender Noah had already established a rapport with. 

Guessing at what would be tolerable for you, he ordered you a rum and coke, asking Steve to give you a light pour. He got a whiskey neat for himself and then went ahead and ordered some wings for the two of you to share, since you’d been complaining that you hadn’t eaten much. 

It was torture enough watching you lick wing sauce off the tips of your fingers. Torture again when you peeled your sweater off your body to reveal a practically transparent camisole underneath. Torture a third time when, after your first drink, you asked him to teach you how to play pool. 

He’d tried to remain as respectful, showing you how to hold the cue with verbal direction, rather than being obvious by lining himself up behind you to position you with his hands. A slight hitch in your smile let him know you were frustrated with this, but he insisted. 

You made a show of bending over the pool table to line up your shot, cleavage on display, and Noah had to leave, making the excuse that he was going to buy another round. 

At the bar, he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the hem of his shirt and slumped into a stool. The bartender immediately greeted him and asked if he wanted another round.

“Yes,” he answered, without looking up from where his face was planted in his palms. 

“Girl troubles?” asked Steve as he began pouring the rum. 

“I don’t know,” Noah answered, honestly. It wasn’t something he wanted to get into, and sensing that, Steve shrugged and finished making the drinks, setting the glasses in front of Noah with a clatter. 

Noah knew you were flirting and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be tested so directly. You made him weak, transforming his resolve from sturdy to feeble with a simple glance and he felt like he was going to die. 

He was in deep. It took every ounce of his resolve to continue treating you like a normal person and not use every single trick he’d acquired in his long history of fuckboyery to get you naked and in his bed. 

It would be so easy, too. You were already doing your best to tempt him. He knew all he had to do was say the word and you’d be all over him in a second. In the humid, whiskey-soaked haze of the bar, it was growing harder and harder to think of a reason why he shouldn’t just give in. 

Except that he wasn’t ready. He knew it. If he gave in too soon, he risked throwing himself back into his normal fight-or-flight response. He’d overthink it and find some reason to pull away in order to protect himself, like he always did. 

No, this time he had to go about it the right way, and you weren’t making it easy on him. 

Without a good reason to delay any longer, he carried the drinks back over, only to be greeted with the sight of you bent over the pool table, tank top riding up and exposing your lower back and the curve of your hips and the beads of sweat that had appeared along your spine and god, if Noah didn’t want to just collect them all with his tongue. 

Jesus fucking Christ. 

He inhaled and exhaled sharply through his nose, saying a silent prayer to excuse his language. Tensing at his jaw and in his fingers around the glasses, he set yours next to you forcefully before taking his place on the opposite end of the pool table so there was at least something sturdier than his resolve separating the two of you. You took your shot and sunk it into the corner pocket. You were obviously hustling him on top of everything else. 

“Thanks,” you said casually, picking up your glass and sipping from it. “I think it’s your turn.” 

“Right,” said Noah. He set his own glass down and searched for his next ball, glad to have something else to focus on. 

He could tell you were unsatisfied with being ignored. You rounded the table and perched yourself on the edge of it next to him, crossing one knee over the other and swinging your legs casually. You leaned up against the pool cue, letting the strap of your tank top fall off your shoulder as you looked at him knowingly and it took all of Noah’s focus not to look back at you. 

“Noah,” you said, voice low and breathy and full of everything Noah had been trying to avoid, and as soon as his name left your lips, Noah scratched, sending the cue ball shooting off the edge of the table. 

“I got it,” he said at the same time that you huffed and jumped down from your perch. He rushed across the bar, chasing after the white ball and when he came back, you stood next to the table with your arms crossed, impatiently tapping your foot and staring him down. 

You were going to have to work harder than that to break him, though. Noah was dead-set on getting out of this interaction without any incident and it was just a matter of who was more stubborn at that point. 

Without making eye contact, Noah set the ball on the table. 

“You’re up,” he muttered, grabbing his drink and letting his eyes nestle deep within the glass of amber liquid. 

He could feel you boring into his face, but he wasn’t going to crack. As soon as you realized that, you slumped over the table and resumed the game. Noah hid his smile in his glass of whiskey and pretended not to notice the exaggerated arch in your back as you bent once more over the table. 

________

Stepping outside the bar, a punishing rush of wind slammed into Noah, causing him to stumble a bit. The conditions had grown even more severe, and Noah knew there was no way they were going to make it all the way to your dorm. 

You must have come to the same conclusion when Noah did, because you tugged on his jacket to get his attention. 

“My dorm’s too far,” you shouted over the wind. “Can I crash at your place?” 

The obvious answer was yes. Both of you knew it, but Noah was still reluctant to answer. This is exactly why he wanted to get you home earlier. 

He trusted himself at the gym. He trusted himself at the tattoo shop. He even trusted himself (barely) at the bar. But in his home? Overnight? With alcohol making his head all fuzzy and softening the lines between your skin and the cloud of lust around you? 

Noah was cooked. 

“Come on, then,” he said, turning and beginning to trudge down the few blocks it took to get to his house. 

You seemed to understand that it was important for you to be on your best behavior or else he might change his mind about letting you stay, so you silently followed, stepping in the footprints he’d left behind. 

________

“Do you need anything to sleep in?” he asked as soon as the two of you reached the entryway of his dilapidated rental. He rubbed his hands together to warm them up—they’d started aching with the cold. 

“I should be okay,” you said, still shivering despite the warmth of his home. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. He scanned you up and down. Your pants were soaked up to the knees from melting snow. 

“Maybe some sweatpants, then” you said, following where his eyes had gone. 

Noah chuckled on his way back to his room, reemerging later with the same set of clothes he’d let you borrow last time. You thanked him, expression a bit bashful as you grabbed the pile from his hands and rushed to the bathroom to change. 

When you came back, your hair was down, spilling pleasantly over your shoulders and Noah watched the way it reflected the low lamplight in waves as you moved. He’d seen you in his clothes before, but in a much different context. 

Now you were here, making yourself at home on the couch while his sweatpants and hoodie swallowed you in comfort. You rubbed your tube-sock-cladded feet together like a goddamn cricket and wrapped your arms around yourself, still apparently trying to get warm. 

“Hey, do you have a blanket or something?” you asked, scanning over the living room. 

“I was, uh,” he began, rubbing a palm over his chin. “I was thinking you could take my bed. I’d crash on the couch.” 

“What?” you said, face twisting with confusion. “Noah, that’s ridiculous. You sleep in your bed. I’m the one burdening you. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

“I’d feel more comfortable if you took my room,” he said. As much as he hated his hometown, some things about it still stuck with him, and southern hospitality was one of them. 

“But you’re like, a million feet tall,” you countered. “Would you even fit on the couch?” 

“Can you just humor me?” he said. “I’ve been needing to put fresh sheets on my bed anyway. This will be a good excuse.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes as you always did—an expression Noah was growing increasingly fond of, and gestured to his room. “Be my guest, I guess.” 

He bowed his head an inch or so and returned to his room, rifling through his closet for the only other set of sheets he owned. 

It was silly, and he knew that. Part of him just enjoyed the thought of you sleeping in his bed. He liked the idea that he’d have that shared experience with you. Both of you would know what it was like to be in his room. Perhaps tomorrow, once you were back in your dorm and he was done with his shift at the factory, he’d lay his head down and his pillows would smell like you. 

Jesus, he needed to get ahold of himself. 

He ripped the old sheets off, piling them in the corner of his room and began the arduous process of figuring out which end of the fitted sheet went where. 

When he came back to the living room, you were sprawled out on the couch and with your eyes closed. 

“You asleep?” he asked softly. 

“Mmm, no,” you said without bothering to open your eyes and Noah took a second to taken in your relaxed features and how your skin glowed softly in the low lighting. 

“Bed’s all made up.” 

Your lower lip jutted out in a soft pout and Noah’s stomach did a somersault. 

“Come on,” he said, nudging you with his knee. “Get up.”

You whined in protest, curling further into the sofa.  

He sighed. It was cute, but not cute enough. “Get up or I’ll call the police and turn you in for trespassing.” 

At that you opened your eyes, shooting him a look that perfectly communicated your annoyance. He nodded towards the room. “Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be out here.” 

You huffed, finally heaving your body off the couch and stood in front of him. “Thanks for letting me stay,” you said in a rare moment of genuine gratitude. 

“Any time.” 

He watched you slump lazily towards his room and listened to hear the click of the door before making up the couch to suit himself. He had to grab a spare blanket from Ruffilo’s room, making a deal with himself to wash it and return it before his friend got back from visiting his family, and then spread himself out on the lumpy sofa, hoping to get a few hours of sleep. 

Sleep, however, did not come. Instead, his mind wandered over to his bedroom, picturing how you looked curled up in his bed and wondering whether you were also having trouble sleeping. 

His dick twitched. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing it away. 

It was one night. One night with an attractive woman in his bedroom. He wasn’t even in the same room. You were on the other side of the house. He could get through this. 

Rolling on his back, he stared at the ceiling and began running through all the steps needed to make a tapping block on his machine. 

Set X to 1.5 inches. Set Y to 2.5. Run program. Remove block. Deburr. Place block back into clamp. Select tool #5. ¾ in. drill. Set Z axis to 1 inch. Run program. 

Fuck. He forgot the next step. 

He tried to get his mind back on the machine, but it was too late. An image of you writhing underneath him flashed in his mind like a lightning strike. 

He dug his fingernails into his thigh, swallowed hard, and went back to the tapping block, already knowing it wasn’t going to work. 

Sighing, he felt around for the remote on the coffee table. Maybe he could put on a documentary or something to distract himself until he fell asleep. 

His hand clasped around the black plastic and he thumbed the power button. The TV flashed, momentarily hurting his eyes until they adjusted. 

Choosing the first streaming service he could find, he searched the documentaries and came up with one about how the Himalayas were formed, and that couldn’t possibly be sexy, so he selected it and waited for his mind to switch off. 

Two minutes into learning about why scientists have found fossils of cephalopods he heard the squeak of a door opening, followed by soft footsteps. 

Of course. 

“What’s up?” he asked softly, without taking his eyes off the screen. 

“I can’t sleep.” 

Your voice came across quiet and drowsy. He looked at the clock and it had already been an hour since you’d gone to bed. 

Sighing and, with great effort, sitting up, he scooted his body to one end of the couch and gestured for you to have a seat at the other. 

“Learning about the Himalayas,” he said. 

“Is this the PBS one?” you asked. 

Noah shrugged, turning his attention back to the TV and trying to ignore the way his body buzzed in your presence. 

“Hard to believe they’re younger than the Appalachians,” you said. The documentary hadn’t mentioned it. This was information you’d apparently gathered elsewhere. 

“I didn’t know that,” said Noah.  

“Yeah,” you continued, resting your toes on the edge of the coffee table. You started doing that thing again where you rubbed your feet together like a cricket—not that Noah was paying attention. His eyes were trained on the screen. “The Appalachia date back to Pangea, and actually part of the range continues on into Europe.” 

“Nerd,” he said. 

“You’re the one watching a documentary about it.” 

Noah said nothing, but his heart thrummed in his chest. 

You kept quiet after that, the two of you watching side-by-side as the narrator talked about the four thousand species of flowering plants native to the zone, and the diversity of fauna, and how the landscapes and ecosystems around the range changed dramatically after the formation. 

Eventually, Noah looked over to see you dozing quietly on your side of the couch. He smiled to himself, knowing that it would probably be better if he moved back into his own room. 

Perhaps in a little bit, he would. It was a really good documentary. 

________

All rights reserved to @doomhands-jr, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

Taglist:

Please let me know if I missed anyone or if I tagged someone who no longer wants to be tagged.

@mentallyillbartender

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@lobolocaamo

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@sunsshinesunny

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@spookychaosstranger

[kingconia]

TWISTED WONDERLAND BOYS AND HOW THEY WOULD ACT IF YOU WERE THEIR OLDER SISTER

warnings: hints of angst? mentions of possessiveness

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS. ❤️

— Big sister? More like a second mother;

— Childhood was rough for both of you, and there wasn't much to do for ground Riddle from it fully, but you tried so hard to make it better than your own;

— You took punishments for your brother, you intentionally caught attention of your mother, so she could ignore Riddle, and you tried to teach him how to have fun properly;

— Riddle understands it when he grows older, but nevertheless, he always was your boy;

— You are his family, but you are also his best friend;

— It hurts you to see how much impact mother put on his mental health, and you struggle so hard to fix it, somehow;

— You are the only one, who can break the rules and make Riddle smile. He doesn't really cares if you are following them, and you honestly don't even try;

— To him, you are always a soft one, his gentle big sister, who takes care of him in the most motherly way;

— But once someone wrongs him... Oh, you definitely your mother's daughter as well;

— OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

MALLEUS DRACONIA. 💚

— Time is different from fae, but Malleus always remembers that you came first, and shows you a lot of respect;

— But you never felt that you are the elder sister THAT much with him;

— Most people assume that you are twins. You look identical, you act the same way, you are both strange in the same manner that people find scary;

— I think, both of you would be quite... Codependent?;

— You had only yourselves all this life, and it hardly changed, since no one wants to socialise with you in the school, so;

— You and Malleus are always together, hip to hip, and sometimes people even confuse you two;

— You are really more shades of each other than anything else, but you are comfortable with that. You share everything, you spend all your time together;

— ...Kinda possessive towards each other, too.

KALIM AL-ASIM. 💛

— When he was younger, you took care of him, admittedly, with some unwillingness. You were older, he was smaller and restless, and you just wanted to mind your business;

— But he is such a sunshine! Always was;

— Your heart grew softer, when he told you, while being still a small bun, that you are the most nice person in the world;

— (You really wasn't back then, but for him? You are now!);

— Basically sunshine and sunshine protector;

— You have a hard time trusting his friends and people around him, and, man, Jamil suffered from your suspicion enough, but... In the end, he is the part of family, too;

— I feel like Kalim adores having matching things. Matching accessories, hats, clothes. He thinks it is an amazing way to bond with you, and you are so into it;

— He is that kind of younger sibling that the more he grows, the more balanced your dynamic becomes, because he starts caring for you, too;

— You are the healthiest duo in the world, lmao.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR. 🧡

— In this case, you are not the oldest in the family, but you are older than Leona, nevertheless;

— When he was a kid, he loved you so much. He was amazed by you, thought you are so cool, so powerful;

— So he started to take example from you. Quietly, without never mentioning that to you. (So, if anyone Farena blames on Leona becoming is such an ass, it is you, lol);

— Leona started act like you, learned your fighting tips, stole your talking manner, and... And clothes;

— It was you, who started wear leather in the family first, especially, gloves, and it was you, who made yourself two little braids by the both side of your ears;

— Leona is a little copycat, but you honestly love it;

— You took care of him the most from the family in the childhood, because others were busy or never wanted to deal with a cursed kid, and that is why Leona is so into you;

— As grown-ups, Leona starts hating all your friends OR boyfriends—don't dare to have one, he hates him, too—and really insecure because of the thought that you will lose interest in him, since he is not the kid to be taken care of;

— Ha, jokes on you. He is always your little stupid baby.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO. 🩵

— Much like Leona, you was his example all his childhood;

— But unlike his situation, you never had such a bond, when he was a kid. You were always busy with your own stuff, scamming people, reading and studying, and he felt, well, lonely;

— So, if Leona copycates, because he adores his sister, Azul does it in the order to become closer. Yes, he kins Mastermind of Taylor Swift, lmao;

— But it works, and you start taking care of him more often, hanging out to explain things. Azul is happy;

— But others? Others hate both of you;

— Contracts, lies, scams: you do it so perfectly, so smartly, so easily, that others just hope both of you will get thrown out of school, lmao;

— As Azul becomes the same level as you, someone, you can call your equal, you start your little competition. Azul tries to trick you, so you could fall on it, and lose to him;

— It is a friendly one, and you actually love your little game so much!;

— But, oh, Azul... Big sister knows better.

VIL SCHOENHEIT. 💜

— You are older, and that meant you came first. So, you are naturally prettier and more talented. Thanks, he hates it;

— As a child both of you had an amazing relationship, but as Vil got more involved with the outside world, he became more envious of you;

— It feels like he can never reach your level, and people used to pester him a lot with stupid questions about you;

— So, as a teen, he distances himself from you, starting to act annoyed and hateful, focusing solely on becoming better;

— You don't understand what is going on, or what to do, and you actively try to fix everything, but... Eventually, you are too tired to deal with all of it. You surrender. If Vil hates you, so be it;

— He misses you so much all the time, but at the same time, he don't do anything to change your situation. He only silently checks your new photos, listens to your conversations in corridors, and that's all;

— Life goes hard, and once he finds himself in front of your doors, crying and sobbing as a kid. You can't deny him, so you spend all night rocking him in your arms;

— But in the morning there is no trace of him, and in the corridors you act like strangers again;

— And no matter how often it starts to repeat, you still never talk properly.

IDIA SHROUD. 💙

— He is the most annoying little brother EVER;

— He is so stereotypical little sibling, lmao. He just whines about how old and not interesting you are, slams the door, and ignores you half of the time;

— Thanks, you hate it;

— But you try, nevertheless! You try to understand his talks, games and interests, and if you still don't, then you buy him a lot of stuff he wants;

— You bring him food and water, and constantly pester on his health;

— Actually, Idia doesn't hate you! He just likes being annoying little shit;

— So, if something gets too intense or tiring, he stops acting this way, and shows that he cares;

— But if no one dies, he puts typical teenager record player, lol;

— At this point, you are fine with that.

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[stinkykitty8]

DOING YOKI FIRST :3

(Yoki belongs to me!!! Everything else credits to Gatobob!!!)

WARNING

This post incudes very heavy topics, nsfw, 18+ stuff, and overall just not very good things. Do not read if you are sensitive to these things.

Read warnings before pressing more please!!!

(Events of BTD 1 happen with Ren and Strade but Ren was kidnapped at 19 and decided to escape at 21, still dealing with a bit of stockholm syndrome he never actually goes to police after.)

After escaping Strade and building himself back up Ren ends up paying a prostitute to fuck during his heat. And because of this it caused an accidental pregnancy she didnt want. She wanted nothing to do with the baby but she also couldn't afford to get rid of it. Instead she just waited it out and after having Yoki she tracked down Ren and gave Yoki to him. Ren took full custody of her and Yoki's mom hasnt been seen since. Ren named Yoki (full name Yokino) and raised her all by himself even thoughit was a bit of a struggle. Ren allowed Yoki to be more free and give into her animalistic instincts more which also caused her to be much more animalistic then Ren. Aka being more feral and getting triggered much easier around like blood or food (especially when hungry). As a young child she really liked meat of course, especially rabbit. Due to Ren taking her out into the woods sometimes and allowing her to hunt she enjoyed bringing back a fresh kill with her bare hands (even when being young she was still able to do it). He doesnt mind Yoki hunting on her own, actually enjoys it and is happy it makes her happy. As long as she doesn't come back home covered in blood or brings the dead animal she killed on the porch he doesnt care. Hes proud of his little girl. At a young age Yoki was introduced to Rens jobs but she didnt really care. Since she basically grew up with it even as a baby its sorta just a thing she knows about and Ren does. They are animals afterall. They have to give into their instincts at some point. Over time Ren started disposing of his 'stars' a different way by giving them to his private chef and asking them to cook it. It helped dispose of bodies easier and quicker all while having a good meal after. Because of this Yoki developed a taste for human flesh. Now she can't go a week without having her favorite meal, human heart. From rabbit hearts to human hearts. Yoki absolutely loves shopping and spending daddys money. Like once a week she gets his black card and goes shopping. Ren doesnt mind though since at this point hes pretty loaded. Plus he loves making his little girl happy. Ren and yoki have probably the most healthiest relationship out of all 3 kids. Ren has raised her well and the best way he can all while giving her a comfortable happy life.

As a young child yoki was often bullied in school for being a freak since beastkin are rare to find. It wasnt until around highschool she started to gain popularity due to her getting popular online. Shes your average tiktok and Instagram girly and being the daughter of a rich guy everyone wanted to be her friend after that. During middle school though she did make a few friends (and a few enemies) but nothing to serious. Basil was her number one friend all the way though just because of how well they bonded together (or well she bonded with basil). She saw him as a close friend and even better a brother to her. And with Hanz. Well he was the little prick. He was the main person that targeted both Yoki and Basil, picking on them and even going so far as to pull on Yoki's tail. Then one day he hust stopped and started staying to himself. Nobody knows what happened to Hanz during that and he never said what happened. Yoki alway knew Ren had scars but never knew what caused them. After learning some information from Hanz when they were older she gets help from one of Rens men to get on the web and check out of what she heard was true, and after snooping around on Strades account she finds out why Ren is that way. And due to this she gets in a small fight with Hanz but they end up settling it out. Yoki and Hanz are sorta a thing when older? But not? Its nothing serious. Mainly because Ren doesnt accept or like it at all. If he could he'd kill Hanz and Strade. He wants nothing to do with strade whatsoever even though Hanz did nothing wrong. Ren found out about Hanz and Strade during a parent teacher conference. Ren knew about Hanz before because Yoki would complain he would pick on her but after finding out it was strades kid he seemed to hate them both even more. Ren would have pulled yoki out of school if it wasnt for it being the only decent school around and plus he wanted Yoki to interact with other children. He couldnt just take that from her and hide her away. So he just protected her from afar. Ren wants nothing to do with Strade and as long as he doesn't bother him or Yoki he doesnt care. Strade likes the thought of fucking with Ren even if hes not doing anything. He could just sit back and relax as Hanz does all the work for him.

Yoki does know a bit of Japanese from Ren and Ren taught her a bit about their culture (trying to remember what his mother taught him). After getting older she could maybe only remember a few things but not everything.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ASK!!! :3

(Hopefully i wrote everything correctly and it makes sense X3)

[guaxinimraccoon]

Hey, love you Euphoria world!! I was just checking out your refrence sheet for the characters and was wondering somthing, because I know that Alex and Elisa are Toby's parents but is Alex also Brad's father? Cuz their last names, if so then Toby and Brad would be stepbrothers yeah? Will they dind out about that one day?? I'm going crazy... I NEED ANSWERSSSS😭😭

Hellooooo, thanks a lot!!

I explain everything about the family in this post, but to summarize it: both Brad and Toby are Alex and Elisa's kids, they're not step brothers, they're... full brothers? Idk if that's the right to call it lol but you get the point

Their last names aren't the best way to assume who their parents are. Toby should have been named "Tobias Ervalur Soares", but Alex and Elisa decided against it since it'd raise questions from their friends at the Colony. No one in the Colony knew Alex by that name, so how they'd explain where the "Soares" came from? To protect their secret, Toby was only named with his mother surname.

For Brad, he should have been named "Bernardo Ervalur Soares" too, but Alex felt so betrayed by Elisa, thinking that she left them both, that he decided to register Brad after his surname only. Not the healthiest way to deal with it, but he wanted to cut ties completely with Elisa at the time.

[deathbxnny]

hello!! the anon who requested aihoshino!like reader, sorry for being vague, ill give more details :]]

so basically i want to reader to be very beautiful and captivating with some sort of tragic backstory and self destructive behavior

for the tragic backstory part; basically a physically and mentally abusive mother and an absent father. as for the self destructive part; basically looking for love in the wrong places

thats all thank you!! :]]

-----♡

A/N: Thank you so much for the additional information! This definitely helped alot, so I hope that I can finally do this request justice!<33

Content: Platonic relationships, fluff, mentions of past child abuse, teen reader, angst

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Silverwolf

Silverwolf knew of most of your past and acknowledges it in her treatment of you. She is never harsh or mean, never goes as far as treating you differently from anyone else either. She feels like it's best to just treat you normally and not talk about the past anymore.

With that said, she often allows you to hand around her during missions or off days. It's her way of silently keeping an eye on you. She noticed your self destructive tendencies and tries keeping you from them in her presence, yet she never tells you, that she knows.

Silverwolf also slowly begins growing protective of you overtime. She doesn't let anyone hurt you or come close to you much, always keeping you at her side while she works. She plays it off as just needing more help or assistance, when it's really just for your safety. She also makes sure to give you some compliments here and there, so that you begin to learn better forms of affection.

-----♡

》Kafka

Kafka becomes quite protective of you fast and takes you under her wing the moment you join the Stellaron hunters. She finds you so adorable and cute, which often ends with her spoiling you with nice clothes or accessories. She gives you teasing, yet kind compliments and gives you all the time you need to adjust to your new life.

She however doesn't let you slip into any self destructive behaviours and therefore keeps you from people she deems as unfit for you. She's patient and tries teaching you better ways of handling these negative urges, but she does it in a fun and playful way to not trigger you.

She eventually makes you into her little "assistant" during missions, just so that she can keep a very close eye on you at all times. She protects you during battles and takes you to nice places often during breaks. She honestly takes care of you well, despite how her occupation can be.

-----♡

》Blade

Blade at first avoided you, after hearing about your hardships in life and your self-destructive tendencies. He didn't want to make them worse and also struggled with his own issues in that regard. Yet eventually, he did have to complete missions with you and realised, that it was maybe not as bad as he thought. Not that he'd ever admit it.

He doesn't treat you any differently from anyone else and spares you the pity, knowing how frustrating it can get overtime. He somehow indirectly influences you to deal with your self-destructive habits in better ways. Like training with him. It may not be the most friendliest or healthiest option out there, but it helps get the frustration and anger out. And that actually helps.

Blade doesn't really notice it, but he subconsciously always seems to keep an eye on you pr protect you one way or another. He does it automatically, but never acknowledges it much. He brushes it off to you just being a weak kid he needs to protect due to work... when it's really because you've become a soft spot for him deep down.

-----♡

A/N: There you go! I hope this was okay and thank you again for the request and additional info!<33

[mysticfoxdesigns]

Who is your favorite human character from Rescue Bots?

(yet another example of a seemingly short post turning long)

My favorite human character in Rescue Bots has been tied between Kade and Dani. Dani is just a really fun character and I feel myself relating to her and her daredevilness. She in all is a pretty popular character as well.

Now I know that people don't generally like Kade

But I have my reasons.

I love asshole characters, especially ones that could be considered loveable assholes. I considered Kade to be one of the characters, even if the show didn't handle the trope well. Kade is honestly a character that needs to grow on you. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it takes all four seasons. For me, it was the second episode.

That episode was honestly the peak of being an older sibling. How I know? I'm an older sibling.

In that episode we see our general Kade characteristics. He is egotistical, a jerk to Heatwave, and a jerk to members of his family. I honestly believe these are valid reasons to not like him, especially if your favorites are Heatwave or Cody. (Yes I am calling y'all out) However, he still cares about all of them, especially for the bots after that episode.

Kade literally older sibling freaked out when it was revealed Cody was in danger. He (mostly) kept his calm cause he is a first responder, that is in the job description to keep a level head, but he was still scared about Cody's safety. His first priority was getting there first to stop the lava, and when Heatwave revealed he was also scared for the younger Burns child, that is what started Kade's respect for him.

Now I will admit, how he got with Hayley was not a good example for a kids show. No one owes you a date just cause you save their life. However, if Hayley truly was not interested later on after that, she wouldn't continue going on dates with him. Their relationship from what we see in the show isn't the healthiest, but it's nothing bad to be purely honest. Hayley has boundaries she clearly sets, as seen in the episode where Kade gets cloned 5 times over. She speaks her mind to him, and pushes him to not be a complete jerk. And Kade respects her wishes! The show, if it did focus more on their relationship, could have pushed for Kade to have more character growth as their relationship grew. However, the show was not built to work with that kind of story plot.

As for how Kade acts with his family, you can see he instantly backtracks when he realizes his words have hurt his family. I truly believe he doesn't think before he speaks. A character flaw, yes, but it does not represent his true morals and ethics. He wouldn't be on a rescue team if he was a truly terrible person. In the episode where the bots are struck with a sickness from the meteor, he tries to rationalize the situation in his own way of coping. But as soon as he realizes that the way of coping he was using wasn't helping Cody, he changes his tune to support Cody's way of coping. In the Squilsh episode, we see him try to argue that he should be the last to leave the area, he didn't want to leave Graham behind and alone. It was Chief having to push him to Blade's ladder to make him leave and get to safety.

And it isn't like we don't see him being anything but an egotistical asshole, we see him genuinely scared. The gremlins episode is a perfect example of this. Kade had a big phobia of them, he barely got any sleep cause of nightmares dealing with them, and he didn't want to enter the power plant cause of it being overrun by them. However, it isn't like he didn't do anything to overcome it. He went to Doc Greene to find a solution, and when it did backfire, Kade didn't back down. Heatwave also showed some great character development in this episode, he didn't make fun of Kade too much for his fear, and even encouraged him to get into the powerplant. Kade was then able to overcome the fear, showing growth in his character.

And on the topic of Heatwave and Kade's relationship. They remind me so much of my own relationship with one of my best friends. We make fun of each other, we are assholes to each other, he makes fun of my autism, I make fun of him being a twink. But we are still best friends. We know the limits and boundaries of our jokes, and it isn't just us being assholes to each other 24/7. We have genuine hearts to hearts, we give each other advice, and we help each other out through difficulties in our life. This is exactly what Heatwave and Kade's relationship is, though not a direct parallel to my relationship.

Heatwave isn't innocent in the beginning with how he treats Kade, just as Kade is not innocent. They are both unfiltered, unreasonable assholes to each other. Heatwave is mad that Optimus Prime won't let him join the Prime Team, and he takes that out on being a pessimistic jerk to the situation they are in. He does not want to be on Griffin Rock, and that is evident. Kade, doesn't reasonably want to work and be inside of an alien. ANY REASONABLE PERSON WOULD BE LIKE THAT. However, it does not excuse his treatment of Heatwave, who is another sentient being. Heatwave is a genuine jerk throughout the first season. It is evident he only cares about his team and Cody. The flobster's episode is a good example of this, he won't care until it is his job. Now, he does grow out of this, which is good cause character development, we love that here.

As the season goes on we see their relationship develop into this friendly "I hate your guts but I will kill for you" situation. (Obviously they do not actually hate each other's guts, but they still act like it) This kind of character development is my favorite! The show does a good job at showing this as well. If you compare the first few episodes of season 1, with the episodes of season 3 and 4, you can see how their relationship has changed. Neither of them are scared to speak their mind, and there is obviously respect in the relationship. Kade and Heatwave have grown to understand and respect each other, while still being jerks to each other. Heatwave is not afraid to make fun of Kade and vice versa, which honestly I believe is a clear sign of a good and healthy relationship. You can point out flaws in each other, and no one is going to instantly get butthurt. Boundaries just have to be established and maintained.

I wish the show could have further explored more of these character developments, not just in Kade but in everyone. However, it is a kids show meant for preschoolers, they just want to watch cool transforming robots save the day.

Another thing with Kade is that it is so fun in the fandom sphere to add headcanons and backstory. I love a character who you can do that with.

[tumblingxelian]

Something of a spin on "Miraculous Classroom" idea of @princess-of-the-corner fame.

Summary: When Carline helped Chloe smuggle Adrien into the school system, she also took the opportunity to... Tweak her class roster.

Only a little, just enough that she could finally have the time to focus on the students who needed more guidance, be it with work and education, illnesses or... attitude.

Unfortunately, her carefully laid plans come to naught when Marinette's cooler opens to reveal not a cake, but ten little gods intent n reclaiming their lost siblings.

& her students want to help them.

A Miraculous what if/AU, there are twelve Kwami, nine students, several early transfers and at least one responsible adult!

What If: This elements are fairly self explanatory.

Fu, rather than combat Hawk Moth directly wanted to take the Kwami to a shrine or temple somewhere outside of Paris, to find new potential students and bearers to restart the order and then deal with Hawk Moth. However thanks to happenstance and a little magic from a few impatient Kwami, the cooler he was using to hide the box got swapped with Marinette's and then she revealed them to the class on accident.

&

Gabriel could not have been the one to put Adrien in the school system so I can only assume Chloe did something. In this case, she collaborated with Carline, who used the situation to finally get her "Troubled Teens" class idea off the floor. Though in exchange she gets all the exchange students.

& some transfers happened earlier, Marinette low key already knows ALya & Kagami & Lila are already here. Also the reason Sabrina isn't is cos Carline felt her issues were mostly in response to Chloe and that separating them would be healthiest. She is still dedicated to helping these kids!

Alternate Universe: This has to do with world building more than anything.

Long story short, I found some of the later Kwami way over powered, or utterly useless and some of the older one's too one note. As a result I re-structured and combined different elements to make the twelve fundamental forces.

What's more they also came about in distinct eras. So Snake is technically the oldest, but its alongside Ladybug due to being a chicken & egg situation. Meanwhile Cat is "Younger" by microseconds.

Similarly, the next eras concepts also emerged at around the same time as they kind of relied on one another to exist or for an opposite, or to function.

After that however things get a bit more drawn out, with Horse predating its siblings, and Fox being elder than Peacock and Butterfly who are essentially the babies of the family.

Creation Ladybug - Creation & Good Fortune Snake - Ouroboros & Entirety/Time Cat - Destruction & Misfortune

Post Creation Tiger - Ignition & Havoc Dragon - Storm & Power Bee - Order & Subjugation

Early Life Horse - Action & Migration Turtle - Protection & Resilience Mouse - Multiplication & Duplication

Animal Eras Fox - Mirage & Materialization Peacock - Emotion & Evocation Butterfly - Transmissions & Transformation

As to why the Kwami did this, well, not all were in on it, it was mostly Sass, Trixx, Pollen & Roaar who were in on it. With Plagg endorsing once he knew while Tikki & the others are either neutral or less in favor.

Its basically a debate on doing it now or doing it the "proper" way but all have distinct motivations and some even just a general desire to have more freedom.

Here is how everyone partners up:

After the initial release, chaos and confusion, things break into several smaller factions. With Carline, a nervous & blaming herself Marinette, Sass & very irritated Tikki trying to bring order or at least sense. All while other interactions take place which people drift in and out of the conversations and exactly what is going on and why is explained and bonds are formed.

Marinette & Tikki partner cos both of them are getting stress migrains trying to understand/manage the situation and Alya's like, "Oh gosh she even gets stressed like you do, perfect match!"

Chloe gets Pollen because she slapped Plagg across the room after he mistook her jacket for cheese & was unafraid when he started going all "I am the god of destruction" on her. Such an impeccably strong will is the only one fitting for the Kwami of order & subjugation.

Adrien got Plagg by intervening to stop the fight & or murder by offering food: "Hey, uh I totally have some cheese with me, I was kind of just grabbing stuff at random in the cupboard this morning cos it was dark, so feel free to it." - Minutes later "Where do you put it all!?" - "In ma belly!!!!" So he's Plagg's fave by default.

Alya is so excited and eager to jump in and opinionated on the fact Kwami damn right deserve the chance to rescue their siblings when they want to and also can she have an interview please. That Trixx decides they like her vibes and the two start discussing mythic heroes and comic books.

Lila's boastful nature catches the attention of Kaalki who decides she would be a "suitable" bearer. Lil is already cooking up BS claims about having done vigilantism before, but living with Kaalki will be another matter.

Ways and Nino is mostly because Nino is the only one to really notice and try to check up on the turtle who seems really down about the whole situation and they share a chill vibe.

Rose & Mouse is basically them both going "Oh you are so cute" while Tiger assumes Juleka is a wild child cos of her goth aesthetic. At first she is disappointed but it turns out having a second identity lets Juleka go fuck wild so it works.

Dragon & Kagami is obvious cos family symbiology and her already having a sword & a proper manner of speaking which works with Longg's archaic manner.

Carline only end up agreeing to work with Sass because his powers can ensure the students don't die. "My power is to watch over you so you do not die."

Thus we have:

Snake - Ouroboros & Entirety/Time Carline Ladybug - Creation & Good Fortune Marinette Cat - Destruction & Misfortune Adrien Tiger - Ignition & Havoc Juleka Dragon - Storm & Power Kagami Bee - Order & Subjugation Chloe Horse - Action & Migration Lila Turtle - Protection & Resilience Nino Mouse - Multiplication & Duplication Rose Alya - Mirage & Materialization

The shifts in powers in some cases are not immense, though a few noteworthy are:

Tiger is more like creating explosions with imbalances in the universe. Mouse can multiply themself but also duplicate objects and creatures. Fox can make some illusions physical and place illusions in people's heads. Bee can sting objects and command them to obey via impose.

What's more, the powers are not one use only, strictly speaking.

What happens is that you can use lesser versions of the powers multiple times, or you can use the payload once.

So Chloe can for example sting five enemies and keep them all still for one minute at a time. Or she can sting one enemy and keep it still for five minutes. Lila can teleport herself around a great deal but portals tucker her out, ETC.

The basic sequence of events from meeting Kwami to super heroes, is mostly everyone getting just enough context. Sass conceding he should have consulted Tikki but standing by the decision to try and rescue their siblings- They are interrupted by thunderous roaring as an Akuma begins tearing up the streets of Paris.

Bustier: Class, no one and I mean no one is to try using magic, let alone revealing this or racing off into danger. Am I understood- Akuma (Attacking a few blocks away) Sass: I could literally feel that about to happen as you spoke.

The students break up into:

Team: "Has zero plan but wants to fight!" Chloe, Kagami, Adrien, Alya, Rose. They are also enabled by Lila opening a portal.

Alya: Wooh, time to be a hero, Trixx Transform moi! Chloe: I won't let anyone get ahead of me, or destroy Paris, Pollen, Transform moi! Adrien: Hey wait for me, this sounds exciting and also I don't want you to die! Kagami: A battle, heroic and wicked forces clashing? This is what I was born for! Rose: Oh no, that monster is where the hospital is, Mullo, Transform Moi!

Team: "Does not want to do this but has to" Marinette, Nino, Carline, Juleka & technically Lila as she wants to avoid danger.

Juleka: Girlfriend noooo (Trails after her) Marinette: I can't let Alya die, or Chloe try to be a hero, she'll kill us all! Nino: Ok several friends in danger now, guess I gotta do it. Lila: Well, I have a little experience in these matters, maybe I can help us all along to save my new home?

Sass: My power would allow you to better ensure their safety. Bustier: … Sass… Transfor moi. (Runs after them)

& that is basically the just of it!

Also thanks to @generalluxun for convincing me Trixx definitely belongs with Alya! Kaalki and Lila is too good a combo to pass up as well.

[mattzerella-sticks]

"You can live a normal life. Fall in love."

I think this scant piece of ranting says a LOT about how Bruce sees Batman. It's not just a duty. It's a curse. Your blessings are also your damnations. Bruce thinks that you cannot fall in love while you are a vigilante (despite COUNTLESS EVIDENCE THAT DISPROVES THIS - Dick and Babs, Clark and Lois, Ollie and Dinah, etc.)

But Bruce has a very myopic viewpoint that leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. He hasn't had success in romance as Batman. It's Batman's fault. He can't give up Batman. Ergo, he cannot 'find love' in the nuclear family, heteronormative sense because of Batman.

Let's look at the three 'greatest loves' of Batman's life according to his and Ghostmaker's trip into his psyche.

Selina Kyle. Talia al Ghul. Poison Ivy.

I'll work backwards. Ivy is a placeholder because she was never really his. She never loved him, and his love for her was chemically induced. But he has her there, why? Maybe to say that it doesn't work out because she chose someone else.

Talia. The mother of his child who is also the Demon's Head. It would never work because of his strict code against killing and her ambivalence towards it. Ironically, they have the healthiest relationship imo that probably was born from necessary co-parenting. While they don't care for what the other does, they respect and care for each other and have deep history. He thinks if he can't make it work with the mother of his kid, who can he make it work with?

Selina Kyle. Probably the closest (at this point in canon) Bruce has ever come to having a relationship that works. But every time it looks like it'll be a sure hit, something gums up the works. Most of the time, it's each other as there are key aspects of their identity that neither are willing to compromise for. And usually, when there is a compromise, it's usually on Selina's part whereas Bruce can continue being Batman. That puts a huge power imbalance in the relationship. It doesn't work out because Selina will always be drawn back to crime, and Batman will have to stop her. Bruce supposes that's what you get for falling for a criminal.

In all three, Bruce creates logical reasons why Batman is incapable of having a relationship and uses that to justify why he cannot have romance in his life. Why having this duty is a curse. Why he is showing love by getting his kids 'out' of the life, through whatever means necessary.

However, with Selina taking a chunk out of crime through a grey method, she is pulling at a foundational aspect of his personality - I'd argue the safety net Bruce created for himself when he was that boy in the alley - and, in turn, making the Batman/Zur persona go nuts. Zur sees her methods not a way to help Gotham but as an attack on him since, if this can save Gotham what is the point of Batman? What was the point of Bruce's vow? What was it all for?

Zur is giving Bruce a reason to keep going, to keep putting on the mask, so he doesn't have to confront what's under the mask when there's no crime to fight. To deal with his personal life and relationships and mhi that need to be dealt with.

And Selina and the Batfamily are right, this shouldn't have turned into a war. They shouldn't be fighting. This is an unforseen side effect of them fulfilling Bruce's wish which is to make Gotham safe when, in reality, maybe thats not what Batman wants because what safe Gotham would need Batman?

Almost like when in Infinite Crisis, Superman of earth one asks his earth two counterpart: "if your earth was perfect, why did it need a superman?"

A safe Gotham doesn't need a Batman and, after all the stress and trauma Bruce has suffered since he put on that cowl, he is not ready to hang it up. It is his burden and his joy. As much as he grouses about the crime and how much work it is to keep Gotham 'clean' he hates sitting on his hands with nothing to do.

Ironically, Batman of Zur En Arrh reminds me of what happened to Robin in Teen Titans Go! in 'Uncle Jokes' when Starfire started acting like Cyborg and Beast Boy, breaking the natural order of how he saw the world and making him go cuckoo. The same thing is happening to Bruce.

He needs to realize that he can still be Batman but he can also not be in control. That Bruce is the one stopping him from finding 'love' in a traditional sense, not Batman. That he has love and a family and he does not need to keep pushing everyone away because he thinks it's better for them and he knows best.

Batman is Gotham's greatest hero, Bruce Wayne's love, but he's also Bruce's greatest rogue. Duality.

[scarecrowdrugs]

Clarice, my awful daughter who has every disease, finally has her costume! Now, to recap Clarice's lore thus far. She's a heavily altered version of Jonathan Crane's half-sister from Year One, aged up a few years so she's around seven during that story's events. Unlike the original, Jonathan actually succeeded in murdering his entire immediate family, ending with the strangulation of his own mother on Mother's Day and the kidnapping of his baby sister.

Clarice and Jon don't exactly have the healthiest bond, considering the circumstances. Jonathan kidnapped her with the intention of spiting his recently deceased mother through the indoctrination of his little sister, only to end up genuinely viewing her as his surrogate daughter. Clarice, much to her genuine discomfort, also views him as a father figure, mostly due to the domestic abuse she both witnessed and experienced at the hands of her biological father. Unsurprisingly, she was a very unsettling child to be around, with a heavy fascination with death and horror. She was pretty much raised with the understanding that there would regularly be people experimented on in the basement, though Jonathan at the very least didn't do this in the same room as her. At the age of twelve, she was sent to foster care after accidental exposure to fear toxin during a fight between Jonathan and Batman caused her to lash out and stab Jonathan right in the stomach.

Unfortunately for her, this made things go from bad to worse for several reasons:

The foster care system in the United States is notoriously not the greatest and Gotham, being how it is, is even worse. Clarice has been through several different placements due to no one wanting to deal with the possibility of being attacked by Scarecrow.

Being related to a supervillain is bad enough, but being closely related to the Scarecrow, notorious for murder and mass chemical warfare, is even worse. Clarice had to deal with death threats, suicide baiting, doxxing, and being shunned by her peers when she finally got to go to school, leaving her with severe paranoia around other people her age. It doesn't help that she has absolutely no idea how to act around other kids, mostly a result of both her childhood isolation as well as being on the Autism spectrum.

She's unsurprisingly very mentally ill as a result of everything she's been through, and being mentally ill in Gotham City of all places carries a lot of social stigma. Clarice is absolutely terrified of having the police called on her if she's having a crisis. It doesn't help that she's not been given adequate counseling for her trauma, and she's often head to deal with medications that have made her already fragile mental health even worse. As it stands, she's mostly dealing with PTSD, severe depression, anxiety, as well as possibly BPD and OCD. It also doesn't help that she's developed many harmful coping mechanisms, such as pulling out her hair, scratching to the point of bleeding, as well as hitting herself on the head.

Despite everything she's been through because of him, she felt utterly betrayed when Jonathan didn't come back for her after going into foster care. Due to her paranoia, she eventually started to believe that he either abandoned out of spite or that he wanted to kill her just like her parents. Although despite what she thinks, the real reason he left her behind was due to a genuine fear that he'd get her killed as well as him being utterly terrified of forming attachments.

Scream Queen was mostly her way of getting control of her own life for once, as well as it being a method for acting out her violent intrusive thoughts without being judged. Clarice's true feelings are shown through Scream Queen instead of in her civilian life. Outside of costume, she tends to be extremely anxious and doesn't speak up often, sometimes even nonverbal. In-costume, she's extremely dramatic and aggressive, as well as being far more talkative.

Her main intention with becoming a vigilante, outside of taking control of her own life, is mostly to get back at Jonathan. According to Clarice, if she doesn't get to have a future then neither does he. For the most part, he's completely unaware of her identity and it's not going to be pretty on either end when he finally finds out.

She's understandably far less experiences than any member of the Batfamily when it comes to vigilante work. Her fighting ability mostly consists of two years of kickboxing training she signed up for in order to take her aggression out on something. In addition to her kickboxing ability, she eventually starts using a chain as her main weapon, starting out with having it wrapping around her knuckles and then eventually learning out to wield it as a whip.

She's more of a one-on-one stealth fighter if anything else, mostly relying on scaring people when she has to deal with groups in order to get them on their own.

Much like her adopted father, her main weapon is her ability to frighten people. She tends to go for unnatural movements in a fight in order to stay as unpredictable as possible, often times switching from normal bipedal movement to suddenly lunging on all fours. Most of her tools are centered around this idea, with her utilizing things such as smoke bombs and even firecrackers to keep people on their toes. Much like Shivers Jonathan, she also likes to freak people out by Blixa Bargeld screaming.

Unlike the Batfamily, she's on a tight budget and she knows it. All of her tools are things she can reliably find without too much suspicion, with her most valuable items being bought from military surplus stores.

Clarice also uses her costume to more safely stim, since she has a fairly large amount of unsafe stims. The wig on her mask allows her to safely yank on hair without pulling out chunks of her actual hair and she often uses the claws on her gloves to scratch at her suit instead of her skin.

For very understandable reasons, Batman is absolutely opposed to her operating as a vigilante, which causes a very unstable relationship with the rest of the Batfamily. Bruce views her as being an unstable viability that cares more about hurting people than saving lives, which isn't exactly untrue. Clarice already doesn't view Batman in a favorable light, with her being unable to separate him from one of the most traumatic experiences in her life. Most of the others view her as being in over her head, with Barbara suspecting her of having a death wish (also not untrue). The only one who finally manages to reach out to her, however, is Stephanie.

Clarice was designed to be Stephanie's character foil, with them both being the children of supervillains who wanted to get back at their parent but taking very different approaches to life. Clarice is a pessimistic mess of a person who has trouble seeing the good in others, while Stephanie refuses to let people drag her down and sees the humanity in others. Steph looks at Clarice and sees so much of herself as Spoiler in her, and eventually manages to reach out to her so she doesn't make the same mistakes she did as Spoiler. Though she never really gets close to most members of the Batfamily, Clarice eventually does regard Stephanie as her closest friend.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

why do you still talk to your parents if they hate you so much? i understand that's a very personal question, but you seem to get pretty personal on this blog, so.

I'm assuming this is based off my latest retelling of my dad and I getting into it when I was a teenager and feeling his apology was genuine and true versus a semi-recent event where he was a real shithead, and I had to learn to deal with it.

I don't know your relationship with your family, and I don't know your age, but here's what I know about me, my family, and my age: I'm 41. The only person I can control in any situation is myself. My parents have failings and fuck ups that pain me, but they also grant me access to my only living grandparent--my grandmother--whom I adore to my bones. If I cut them off, I lose her. Not because she is easily swayed by bullshit but because she's 90 and they live in the same town, and it's easier for her mail to go to them than for her to get to the post office. She hates talking on phone and email. She is not here to be judged. She rules.

But also, there are positives to my relationship with my dad that I find worthy of keeping. He and I are further apart politically than we've ever been. But all Dad wants when his kids are home is to watch movies, make food, and listen to us talk about our lives. Would I like him to apologize for calling me a disappointment? Yes. Absolutely. Is it going to happen? Fucking no. Would I like him to use my pronouns? Yes. Is it ever going to happen? No. Can we talk about the six movies he watched last week and have a good time? Yes.

Will my mother ever admit she's a severe alcoholic who has abused me for my entire life and continues to do so with her drinking? Nope. Not fucking ever. And my dad would drop me in a second because he would see my hardline on my mom as disrespectful, and then my mom would make SURE that anything I send to my grandmother via the mail would get lost.

I am 100% aware of the ways my parents come up short and fail me and try to cut me off at the knees (my mother especially). It's my job in taking care of myself to look at their actions and my own hopes for the relationship and decide how to adjust.

While it may seem odd to you, to me, I am literally in the healthiest version of my relationship with my parents I could be for what I want. I am very aware of where they won't meet me halfway. I know they will say things like "we never had expectations; we just wanted you to be happy" even when I could pull out a list of receipts a mile long.

I don't need their love to be validated. I have so many people in my life who give me that without struggle. I keep them in my life for a variety of reasons of varying weight and understand why I have made that choice.

At the end of the day, it'd be way easier if my parents just said, "We hate you. Stop being so you." But they don't. They put up a show of loving me exactly how I am while also failing at that, but again, I don't need them to love me exactly as I am. I am happy with who I am and how I live my life. Their power in my life and my sense of self is what I choose to put on it, and that power at this point is zero.

I enjoy my dad. I adore my grandmother. My mother exists. My MIL lives two hours away, so there's no way to avoid them if we're in the area. We went down in April and there were moments of deep annoyance, but nothing I wasn't expecting because I am clear-eyed and very accepting of what I'm walking into, and honestly, it's gotten fucking funny how right my guesses are.

How I handle my shit isn't for everyone. But it's my shit. And it's how I handle it. And every time I follow the path I've carved, I feel sure about my decisions.

[theartofloss]

Re-reading the Sunhawk with HFW in mind, and here are some random thoughts:

Talanah is the BEST

Baby Talanah!! She's so cute. I wish we had more information about that period tho, because from my understanding she left Meridian as a kid, and returned only after the Battle, in which she fought. The timeline is a bit murky (third pic is from Liberation)

I love how Aloy acknowledges the responsibility that must be on Talanah's shoulders, because she's feeling a similar pressure.

Also, Talanah is probably the only friend to get an unprompted apology for leaving without saying goodbye, and I love her response - Aloy doing everything by herself may not be the healthiest thing to do, but it's the only way she knows how to deal with her mission at that moment, so making her feel guilty is the last thing she needs. She just keeps letting her know that she's always welcome to ask for help.

Now for Bozo the clown:

He's so annoying, can't believe we're supposed to believe Talanah fell for him...

Talanah is a fucking trailblazer, first woman to become Thrush/Hawk/Sunhawk. Carja women and girls must fucking ADORE her, and then she spends the entire time in HFW chasing after THIS guy??? Seriously??

Ah, yes - Amadis, forever the 🤡

Now that character design in HFW makes more sense

[michaels-office-hours]

I’m just gonna ramble about the AU with Two Face’s niece Carla now. Cause why not. Also it’s now named Two Scar.

Carla is the one that brought Two Face back into his family.

He was standing outside all moody in the cold on Christmas, like he usually did after his accident.

(Regretting the fact he sacrificed the family he had for his career.)

And then he dove into a bush when the little dark haired girl who had been laughing and running around at the party, was staring out the window back at him.

She told her mom she wanted to go outside and see Santa. Her mom, thinking she was just being silly. For SOME REASON agreed to let her daughter bring cookies to”Santa” alone in the cold.

(Her dad was getting drunk with da boys and her mom needed to keep an eye on him so he didn’t cause a ruckus in front of children… aka she doesn’t have the best family but hey not the worst!… unless.)

Carla instantly found a shivering Two Face in the bush, and offered him the cookies. Which he kinda complained about until… warm.

She talked with him while he ate, and he told her he was the Toy Man not Santa. He also was doing his best to keep the bad side turned away from her, since he didn’t want to scare her.

(She had seen it already. Wasn’t phased in the slightest.)

He asks her name and how old she is, she’s really proud of being 6. He’s really sad he missed her entire life before now.

He tells Carla to go back inside, because the cold is bad for growing girls. She asks if he wants to come inside. Two Face thinks about it? But then gets scared and tells her he’s busy and has to get going.

Before she goes in, he hands her a doll. And she brings it in with her. Much to her mother’s terror.

Two Face does his best to not show how he’s not the most mentally stable when he’s around Carla

Both Harvey, and Big Harv love Carla. She’s actually the reason he stops committing crime…. Mostly.

But what started as a joke by Harv to mess with Harvey? Turned into “don’t traumatize the kid”.

They both front near her! And get time to hang out and play. But they do their best to… not really show that happening.

So until the time Carla finally got up the courage to ask, in her 20s? She had assumed she only knew Harvey.

Which shocked her when the side she asked was Harv at the moment.

He found it hilarious.

(I know that’s not the healthiest thing to do? I also know some people will get mad. I’m kinda basing how I react to certain people in my life tho. Sometimes you mask because saftey? Others because that’s just not a close enough relationship to know, or you don’t want to be seen as… different. Kinda sucks? But I think Two Face does that as a natural reflex. Yes this is all headcanon. I’m just playing him how I think he would react. Pls do you own at your own leasure)

Carla takes after her Uncle in ways that honestly terrify him

Carla liked playing court with her ex-lawyer uncle so much? She decided to become one. He… wasn’t thrilled. Mostly just terrified for her, since that’s what got him hurt.

She’s kinda chased in the office and around, most people think she’s really cute. Two Face has threatened to kill for that, she nearly lets him.

(More of a… after work call than a wanna date? Call…. If you catch my drift.)

Jason Todd ends up getting a school boy crush on her, which… she’s older than him. He outgrows it. But uhm… that’s a tie in that makes Batman more uncomfortable than Two Face.

She gets a scar on her right side in a gang attack on her and Jason, run by the Joker. Jason dies in that attack. She loses most sight in her right eye. And has a nasty scar on her cheek.

She has a temper after her accident. Mostly being the fact she stopped taking shit and instead started dealing it when people went for her, or those she loved. That paired with her change in dressing style TERRIFIED Two Face, thinking she would go on to gang life.

(Carla stays a lawyer. She just defends herself. Actually learned some of that from Batman. Who stand on the sidelines nodding and thumbs up ping as she beats people down.)

That’s long enough. Lol. Enjoy!

(This au belongs to both myself, and @sealmonger )

[uzumakichcined]

Tayuya x Karin

Send me a ship and I'll rate it:

I genuinely didn't expect to like this ship as much as I do, but if we're talking about just our muses I can't help but think like. It's actually kinda great.

Not only because it makes me laugh at the idea of how Orochimaru is just the weird guy who is homing all the gay kids that get kicked out of their villages. but also just, they both are very sassy, strong willed, and firey women who are not afraid to back down and we love these evil ladies. more evil lady romance please

i love the potential as well, because there's a lot we could go into and look at, from Karin being someone who experimented on people like Tayuya at one point (not at the same time as tayuya since they're similar ages but ya know) and also the complexities that their moral standings have or personal views. Like how does Tayuya feel about Karin still doing human experiments, and would totally be fine with torturing people to the extent tayuya was. what are tayuyas goals would they align with karins? where would they go from there, how would tayuya want to live her life now she's given another chance?

Or Karin dealing with someone who by all her metric, she should let die since her experiment has come to a close a long time ago. it goes against her logical and rational mind since its not like tayuya does that much for Orochimaru or her, but yet she enjoys butting heads with her. she enjoys the challenge since most people aren't strong enough or wont stand up to her in a non-physically violent way. since most people just resort to violence its nice to clash fronts on verbal standing of roasting, educating, and shouting sometimes. its fun. even if it isn't the healthiest perse she enjoys the firely explosive moments of emotion she doesn't get as often especially with their missions and work settling down.

NOTP || Just no || Meh || Neutral || Good Potential || Ship it || OTP || JUST FUCK ALREADY

[sapphic-lottienat]

october 13 (faith lehane day !!)

hiii guys, so as some of you may or may not know, today is international faith lehane day!! this post may come a bit early to some because i live in australia btww

so what i believe was 25 years ago to this day, season 3 episode 3 (faith, hope, and trick) aired on american tv, and we were introduced to the character of faith lehane

faith was probably my first real celebrity crush, even though i was young-ish when i watched it. i loved her personality, her strength (both emotional and physical), and her obvious queerly undertoned relationship with buffy.

faith goes through so much heartbreak and betrayal and loss, which is why i believe that she was never a truly evil character. im probably saying things that everybody knows, but faith was a kid like buffy too. everyone talks about how buffy was so young when she had to deal with all of this stuff, but faith was young as well.

remember the impact that giles had on buffy. with him, buffy had both a mother and a father figure, completing her little family (at least, from seasons 1-4). but faith's watcher died and her parents were never there for her. she was always so lost and alone, terrified of vulnerability.

that's why when she befriends the mayor, she clings onto him, does anything for him. he is the father that she never had (to clarify, i do NOT approve of their relationship; he used and practically groomed her).

faith had it worse than buffy, and yet people still treat her like an awful person. but what did she do that was that bad? she was manipulated into aiding the mayor. she killed a man? guess what. so did giles. the circumstances were different, yes, but it was a genuine accident in faith's case.

she runs, pretends that nothing happened. because she feels SO guilty about it, and if she buries her guilt deep in her denial, she knows that she'll never have to feel it.

this all leads me onto my next point; fuffy was genuinely a much better ship than bangel or spuffy (no hate ofc, im a spuffy girl too). 

obviously, faith was not a vampire. green flag number one :)

there were always the gayest undertones with their characters (yes i know eliza played her role as if she liked buffy)

she was the healthiest fulfilment-wise?? angel and buffy obviously couldn't do anything without him losing his soul, and sleeping with spike sent buffy into such deep self-loathing. but faith was always her friend, she always went to her if she was in trouble… yall they could make out as much as they want with no repercussions.

there are also many quotes to back up my argument, soo here are some off the top of my head :)

"really, we're just good friends" (buffy)

"let's have another go, see who lands on top" (faith)

"willow said you needed me. didn't give it too much thought" (faith)

and then there's the way they look at eachother, the forehead kiss, and (my personal favourite) the way that scott hope absolutely spread the rumour that buffy was gay because he saw how faith and buffy interacted.

i dont really know what else to write so thank you that concludes my essay <3 i might write a fuffy fanfic after this actually…