#she's my fave and if you hate on her in any way i will Find You

[nellandvoid]

every time i draw mabel smiling in any capacity i start smiling with her she's just such a cutie patootie and it's like her happiness is infectious she just makes me go :DDDDDD

[butyoudidthis4what]

No Man's Land

Jack Abbot x f!Reader

5.1k || All my content is 18+ MDNI || C.W.: mentions of blood, mentions of guns and shootings, mentions of death/dying/coding, CPR, anxiety about partner's safety, Jack's traumatized, reader's traumatized, mentions of dissociation and compartmentalization, poor description of medical events, potentially incorrect medical descriptions/knowledge, very very light smut, angst, age gap kind of implied with Jack but not explicitly referenced, no use of y/n or related, not proofread, no beta, I think that's all but if I missed any please (nicely) let me know.

Summary: This is my Pitt-Fest-But-Not fic. Development of your relationship through vignettes of the past and conversations between Jack, Dana and Robby. There's a shooting where you work. Jack is at the ED when the dispatch comes in and is terrified when he can't get in touch with you.

A.N.: If my Robby reads like John Carter I'm sorry, except that a little bit I'm not. I feel like I'm struggling with my Jack characterization but can't tell if that's just me hating everything I do. This is my take on one of my fave tropes where reader is in mortal danger. I needed a physical location that could be associated with reader and settled on a courthouse, but what it is reader does there is not described. Probably (definitely?) needs a part two. If you get the nickname, thank you, I feel seen. If you don't I explain it at the end. This is absolutely something I would call him, in part to fuck with people who know his real name. I would love to know if you enjoyed and to hear any thoughts you'd like to share.

“He has a girlfriend,” Robby smirks at Dana. 

She blinks at him. “I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about Jack Abbot.”

“Oh we fucking are.” Robby stifles his smirk and forces his lips to remain closed and as neutral as possible. 

“You’re shitting me.” Dana’s incredulous look breaks Robby a bit and he starts to laugh, tries to turn it into a cough when both he and Dana look up to find Jack staring at them as he takes his snow dusted beanie off. He gives Robby a ‘really?’ look even though he knew Robby would rat him out to Dana the second Robby had dragged it out of him. 

Dana looks back at Robby. “Who? How did they meet?”

Robby holds up his hands. “You now officially know as much as I do about her.” Dana makes a noise of vague discontent but knows Jack well enough to know Robby is telling the truth. That’s all that’s been revealed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s not worth it,” you whisper. Jack blinks and looks around, unsure if you’re talking to him. He has no idea who you are, has never seen you before in his life but it appears that you are in fact whispering to him in the middle of this bookstore. 

He raises his eyebrows. “It’s not?”

You shake your head, give him an almost conspiratorial smile. “No, he must have gotten a new ghost writer. It’s really bad in comparison to his other stuff. Save your time and money. I’ll give you a summary right now for free if you’re that curious.”

Jack smiles to himself a little bit as he sets the book back on the shelf. There’s something about you, your smile, the way you just randomly spoke to him. He’s drawn to you. An alarm goes off in some part of his brain telling him to ignore it, ignore you, he could get hurt. He pretends to weigh his options as he turns to face you fully. “How about for a cup of coffee?”

Your brows furrow in confusion for a moment. There’s simply no way this unfairly attractive man is asking to buy you a cup of coffee. “The summary?” You clarify. “That I’d give for free. You want it to cost a cup of coffee instead?” You let out a nervous laugh and some part of his heart aches because you’re so adorable. “I just want to make sure I understand before I potentially make an even bigger fool of myself.” 

“Yep.” He can’t help but laugh a little. “You give me the summary over coffee. Actually, you know what? You’re going to have to give me a recommendation too because now I’m going to have nothing to read.” He clicks his tongue at you. 

“Well,” you laugh out, all breathy as you try to pull yourself together. “You drive a hard bargain but I think I’m willing to accept those terms…” you glance at his name badge, “Dr. Abbot.” You give him a full smile and Jack knows then and there he’s totally fucked in the best of ways. 

“Jack.” He smiles at you as you both begin walking towards the café. “Call me Jack.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything quiet enough after handoff, Robby walks out with Jack into the morning sun that does little to warm the breeze pulling leaves off the trees. “Any chance you can cover a shift on Saturday night?” Robby is asking, yes, but he knows it’s not really a question, Jack is always willing to work.

“Can’t.” Jack says simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Sorry.” There’s an expectant silence that hangs between the two as they keep walking.

“Care to elaborate?” Robby finally asks.

“No.” Jack turns and smirks at him. “It’s none of your and Dana’s business.”

“Ha!” Robby laughs. “So it’s her, it’s about her! The ever elusive girlfriend. Will we ever get to meet her? Or does she not want to meet us? Is she real?” Jack stops walking and gives Robby one of his looks. “Holy shit, is it someone here?”

Jack snorts at that. “No it’s not someone here. She’s not even in the medical field.” He sighs, half longing and half resignation of some kind. “She’s honestly dying to meet you guys, especially you and Dana, but I’m trying to protect her from this hellhole. It’s hard with schedules too, to find a time.”

“That’s such fucking bullshit,” Robby laughs. “Are you afraid to truly commit? Think bringing her here will make it too real?” 

It’s a valid question but one that Jack nevertheless resents. “No, actually, if you must fucking know Saturday is our one year anniversary. We have plans. So you’ll have to find someone else to cover. But I’ll bring her around soon,” he laughs through his nose to himself at your stubbornness, “if I don’t she’s liable to just show up one of-”

“A year?” Robby laughs, incredulous. “A fucking year? How the hell did you hide it for three months before I dragged it out of you?”

Jack ignores him. “Also, I’m moving to days. It’s better for us.” He’s so nonchalant about it, just states it like he’s saying the sky is blue, like it’s not going to make Robby’s eyes widen and mouth drop open like it does.

“I don’t,” Robby huffs a laugh, “I don’t even know where to fucking begin.”

“Then don’t.” Jack smirks, starts to walk again while Robby stays frozen, running a hand through his hair. “Go do some actual work.”

“I thought you found comfort in the darkness?” Robby yells after him. 

Jack slows and turns around but keeps walking backwards, one hand holding the strap of his backpack to keep it over his shoulder. He glances down at his phone and the photo of you that is now his wallpaper. He smiles to himself a little, yells back. “Guess I find it somewhere else now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You giggle, honest to god giggle and Jack could lose his damn mind as he nibbles at your collarbone. “You know if my anatomy class had been this fun, I might have become a doctor too.” 

You’re laying on your back in bed as Jack kisses your sweat slicked skin all over as you both come down from your last round. He’s taken to 'teaching you anatomy' like this, identifying different parts of the human body with his mouth.

“Hmm,” Jack hums against you. “I’m glad it wasn’t then. Fuck doctors.” He starts to kiss down your chest. 

“That has become quite the favorite pastime of mine, yes,” you smirk. “Fucking one specific doctor, actually.” 

“Getting fucked by one specific doctor more like it,” he murmurs into your sternum. He kisses laterally, lips hitting your breast and moving towards your nipple. 

“I think we’ve established what those are,” you moan softly as he takes your nipple into his mouth. You let your hands run through his salt and pepper curls that you adore so much. 

“Can never be too thorough.” You giggle at him again and can feel him smile against you. “But fine, you want something new?” You nod, let your nails scratch gently at his scalp. 

“Nipple,” he kisses your nipple and then down your torso to right above your belly button, “to navel is no man’s land.” He continues to lavish kisses on the soft skin of your stomach before looking up at you when you don’t respond. 

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not.” You eye him with mock suspicion. 

He laughs and it’s your favorite sound in the whole world, you swear. Well maybe second, only behind hearing him tell you that he loves you. 

“I’m not. Nipple to navel is no man’s land. It’s a real thing. It’s one of the worst places to get shot or stabbed because there’s so many organs that could be hit and the place we’d expect to get hit would depend on whether the person was breathing in or out at the time, whether their lungs were inflated or deflated. And we generally have no way of knowing. It can be difficult to get clear imaging.” He starts kissing lower, down below your belly button, rubbing his stubble along your skin to tease you as he gets lower and lower. “It’s never a good time. Lots of poor outcomes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s supposed to be his day off and yet Jack finds himself staring at the board and running a hand over his face. “It’s still so fucking weird seeing you here during the day and it not meaning something catastrophic has happened.” 

Jack turns to look at Dana. “I’ve been working days for a month now and it’s my day off.”

“You can go, we’re fine for now,” Robby nods at Jack. “Thanks for the brief assistance brother.”

“No, no,” Dana interjects, “he’s not allowed to leave until we nail down a time to meet his girl.” 

Robby raises his eyebrows and starts to tilt his head and open his mouth to agree with Dana. A dispatch comes through before anyone can say anything else and Dana grabs it, pinning Jack down with her eyes, daring him to leave before discussing meeting you. 

“Saved by the bell,” Jack huffs, taking his stethoscope off and starting to walk away. 

“Shooting at a courthouse,” Dana relays to Robby, “not a mass cas, just a few people, two a little iffy, one they’re already doing CPR on, a few caught in the race to get out. Two dead on the scene.”

It takes a few seconds for Dana’s words to truly register with Jack, but when they do his hearing fades to only a sharp ringing in his ear. This wasn’t happening. He’d been so reticent at the beginning of your relationship, waited so long to give in and define it and hand his heart over to you, terrified he’d lose you because of himself and who he was, his imperfections, his past, his trauma, his PTSD, his baggage, as he thought of it. He feels so stupid now, in the moment, not having worried about how he could lose you from a random act of violence, that in the moments he can’t be there to protect you somebody could come in and rip you from him. Just like that. With the pull of a trigger. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I can confidently say this is the most unique date I’ve ever been on,” you tease Jack. 

“Hey,” he pants, “me teaching you CPR is a great date.” 

“It would be better if you took your shirt off,” you whisper and wink at him before letting your eyes linger on his arm. 

“If I did that you’d be so distracted you’d learn nothing,” he smirks at you, sweat glistening on his skin just a little. Just enough to drive you nearly feral for him. 

 “I think I’ve got the compressions part down, but I may need more help learning the mouth to mouth part.”

He rolls his eyes at you. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You fucking love it,” you shoot back at him, leaning into his space and bumping him with your shoulder. 

He can’t help but kiss you. “Yes,” the word is muffled against your lips, “yes I do.” He gives you a firmer kiss this time before he pulls away. “But really. You should know how to do it, just in case. It will help you feel in control in the moment if the need for it ever arises. You’ll know what to do.”

You bite your lip and smile at him. 

“What?” He eyes you with suspicion. 

You shrug. “Nothing, I just love you so much. Sometimes it overwhelms me, how much I love you.”

He can see it in your eyes, how much you love him, can almost feel it physically squeezing him like a tight hug. He’s really not sure what he ever did to deserve you or your love. “I love you too, Doll.”

“I love you more, Peter.” Your face pulls up into that usual self-satisfied and silly grin you get sometimes when you call him that nickname. It’s a recent thing. You’re calling him it more and more though, it’s becoming a natural way of referring to him. From anyone else he would hate it, hearing it between another couple would make him roll his eyes. But from you? He loves it more than you’ll ever truly know. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack spins around.

“Jack you can still go, we’ve got it covered.” Robby looks at Jack for a minute and then meets Dana’s eyes as she looks to him after taking her own look at Jack. 

“What courthouse?” Jack asks. It’s quiet, controlled and clipped and almost missable in the chaos of the ED. He’s not looking at either of them, staring past them at a wall with a chest heaving more and more by the second as his face grows paler. 

He tries to keep it together. Dana will say the name and it won’t be your courthouse and he’ll go straight to your actual courthouse, grab you, take you home and never let you leave. A perfectly reasonable reaction, he thinks.

“Jack-”

“What fucking courthouse?” It’s louder this time, almost enough to pause the chaos of the ED. 

Jack’s voice drips with what sounds like rage to most of those who hear him but is unmistakably fear to Dana and Robby. 

Neither of them have ever seen Jack like this, this scared, struggling this hard to keep it together, truly raising his voice for anything other than to quiet down an unruly patient. His eyes find Dana’s and they’re glassier than she’s ever seen them, the intensity of his gaze making it painfully clear he’s hanging on every word and the wrong ones will shatter him. 

She swallows and opens her mouth and Jack knows what she’s about to say before she even says it. And she does. The name of your courthouse. 

“I’ll triage.” He says it before Dana has even finished, the words hollow and breathless and commanding all at once. He spins and starts off to the bay doors with nothing more. He obviously knows from the report Dana gave that they won’t need triage. He just needed to get out of there and try to create an excuse to stay in the ambulance bay. He knows Robby won’t let him, that Robby and Dana already know you’re at that courthouse, could be a victim. 

Robby and Dana share another look, So you work at a courthouse. This courthouse. “Fuck,” Dana mutters, “I really hope we don’t end up meeting her today.”

Jack’s hand dives in his pocket as he strides to the ambulance bay. He already knows in his heart that there’s not going to be a text from you saying that you’re okay. He hasn’t felt his phone buzz. He never even kept his phone on him until you. 

Even though he knew he wouldn’t have any messages, waking his phone and seeing none hits him like a freight train all the same, right in the chest. It threatens to bring him to his knees, make him sick, but he can’t. He sets it all aside. If you do come out of one of the ambulances he can hear in the distance you’re going to need him at his best. But what if you’re one of the two people dead at the scene? He has to shove that out of his mind too, can’t give into the complete panic that threatens to consume him. 

Disassociate. Compartmentalize. Do the job. ABC. Assess. Stabilize. Repeat.

His fingers fly across his phone automatically, calling you having become so routine. He prefers it so much to texting, hearing your voice, communicating more directly. “Call me,” he starts, “the second you get this message. Or fucking text me,” his voice breaks, “please. Fucking please.” He hangs up and calls again, knowing he’ll get your voicemail again but trying anyway because it’s all he can do. 

He’s helpless, powerless, he can’t do anything to try and save you and that threatens to swallow him whole. 

Your voicemail recording telling people to leave a message plays again and all Jack can wonder is if this is all he’ll have left of your voice in his life. Your voice on your mailbox, maybe some voicemails you’ve left him, videos, voice memos you’ve sent. All distorted by recording, not your real voice. He can’t remember what your real voice sounds like all of the sudden. What your laugh sounds like, how you sound when you’re sleepy or in the throes of pleasure or telling him you love him. God, did he even tell you he loved you the last time he saw you, when he said goodbye? 

“I need you to call me,” he says into the phone again, pauses. “I love you.” He takes a ragged breath in and speaks through his teeth. “I love you so fucking much, so you have to be okay and you have to fucking call me.”

He sends a series of texts asking you to call him or text him or call the hospital or do anything to let him know you’re okay, asking if you are okay, asking where you are as though you’re going to respond. He already knows you’re in the back of one of those ambulances because of fucking course you are, because he’s not allowed to have anything good in his life apparently. How could he be so stupid to think differently?  

“Hey, we don’t need triage for this. The numbers are controlled.” Robby walks out to stand next to Jack in the ambulance bay. “If you want to stay you can, but you can’t wait out here to see who shows up, you have to-”

“Yeah, yeah, jump on the first patient that pulls up, I know, I got it,” he interrupts Robby. 

There’s a silence as Robby passes him a gown and ties for him before he does the same for Robby. 

“Jack, if she’s in one you cannot-”

“Like fuck I can’t.” It’s just a statement. Cool and collected and a projection of indifference. It scares Robby more than if Jack had yelled. 

“No, actually brother, you can’t. I’m telling you right now. You’re not working on her. We don’t work on family, on significant others, and you would tell me the exact same thing. It’s too risky, you’ll be too clouded.” Robby watches Jack’s jaw clench and roll as he stares out at the street. 

He wants to argue that of course he’ll be clear, he’ll be focusing on saving you, he’ll have never been so clear in his life. But part of him knows that seeing you like that on his trauma table, your blood all over the table and him and his hands might make him freeze.

“Fine.” Jack whispers. “But if she’s,” Jack has to pause and take a shuddery breath. “If she’s gone or really going and it’s inevitable you have to let me in. You have to let me try to save her. You have to let me code her, Michael.”

He can taste the rising bile in his throat just at having to talk about coding you.

The first ambulance pulls up before Robby can respond and Jack’s on it so fast Robby’s surprised Jack doesn’t get smacked in the face by the door opening. 

It’s not you. It’s someone who is very much not you and is clearly one of the iffy ones. 

Disassociate. Compartmentalize. Do the job. ABC. Assess. Stabilize. Repeat.

Jack forces himself to go emotionally numb as he listens to the paramedic rattle off vitals and history, trying so very hard to focus on this, something he can do, even if it’s not for you. By the time they hit trauma one Jack’s fine and in full swing, running it like he would any other trauma. Nobody on the team in the room with him suspects anything is amiss.  

He hates the way he can’t see the other’s who come in, that he has to stay with this patient until they’re stable and can’t go looking for you. He chastises himself for not having brought you here before or at least having you meet Dana and Robby. They don’t even know what you look like, couldn’t identify you.

“Jack!” He glances at Dana who stands at the door as he preps for the chest tube. “What’s her name?”

He yells your name at her, impassive and stoic as he reaches for the scalpel, ignoring the looks everyone throws each other at the slightest tremor in his voice.

“I’ll look for her.” Dana promises. He doesn’t respond. He can’t. He’ll fall apart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The restaurant you’re at has to be the fanciest place you’ve ever been to. It’s the hottest place in the city and you have no idea how Jack snagged reservations here for dinner to finish out celebrating your one year anniversary. 

The lighting and low hum of other patrons talking to each other and glasses and silverware and plates tinkling is cinematic. You feel like the main character. But then that’s always how Jack makes you feel. 

“I got you something.” He pulls out a wrapped rectangular object. 

You click your tongue and tsk at him. “We said we’d do them at home! I didn’t bring yours!”

“I know. I have something for you at home too.” His eyes sparkle in the flickering candle light, a little smirk pulling up. “I didn’t mean for it to be a double entendre, but both are true.” You snort a laugh at him and take the gift from him. “Open it.” He’s still smiling, eyes still sparkling,  but there’s something there. He’s nervous. It makes you even more curious. 

You carefully unwrap the object until it reveals itself as a hardcover book. That same one Jack had in his hand a year ago and that you told him was bad and gave him a summary of over coffee. 

“Oh, Jack,” you say softly, eyes getting a little watery. It’s so perfect. So sweet and sentimental. The book that brought you together, that gave you each other. It’s almost like a physical representation of the foundation of your relationship in a way. 

“You have to open it,” he instructs you in a whisper.

You raise an eyebrow but do as he says. 

‘Move in with me?’ is written on the blank first page. 

You look between the page and Jack. “Is this?” You look back at the page and then up at him again. “Are you really asking…?”

He nods. “Move in with me. Or move somewhere with me, we can get our own place, it doesn’t have to be my apartment. We basically live together anyway at this point. Let’s just make it official, yeah? Wherever you want, you can decorate however you want. Just as long as it’s our place.”

You bring a hand to your mouth for a second before using your napkin to dab at the inner corners of your eyes to stop the tears from falling and look back at him. 

“You’re a romantic, Jack Abbot,” you hum all dreamily. 

“You better not tell anyone. Can’t have you ruining my street cred.” He smirks, but his expression and the way he fidgets show he’s still anxious. “So?”

You realize then you never actually answered him. Sniffling a little laugh and letting a few tears fall you give him his answer, voice thick and full of emotion. “Yeah, I think I’m willing to accept those terms. I’d love to move in with you… Peter.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He hears you counting to yourself before he sees you. “One, two…”

It’s not loud, just said in a normal voice, softer if anything because of how you’re panting, but Jack is so on edge and so desperate to find you he’d subconsciously been listening closely to his surroundings, military training kicking in. His head snaps to you and he doesn’t even know what to think when he sees you being rolled in on top of a gurney, performing CPR that would rival the quality of his own. 

“Why is she..?” He hears Robby question the paramedic as you roll in. 

“She was performing them just as well as we could and it was better to just scoop and run,” the paramedic explains. “She must have had one hell of an instructor.”

“Peter!” You yell, without looking up, not sure if he’s still here. You’re so used to it by now that the nickname is just what comes out of your mouth as you look for him. He’d texted you to let you know he was going in for a bit.  

Jack could sob and the entire team in the room with him can feel a crushing tension shatter. Maybe he does get a little teary just from the sheer relief. He tells himself it’s sweat in his eyes.

“Yeah Doll?” He yells back, not giving a fuck about everyone hearing him call you Doll, and you calling him Peter, knowing full well he’s going to have so much explaining to do about this entire situation, the confusion in the room palpable. 

“I’m okay!” This time he does laugh to himself. 

“Yeah I’d say so,” he mutters, smiling. He’s still anxious to see you, get his own eyes on you, feel you with his own hands. 

It’s only about thirty more seconds before his patient is stable enough and he can rip his gloves and gown off and start putting fresh gloves on as he walks into the trauma room you’d been wheeled into. Normally he’d yell out for someone to talk to him or ask what they’ve got but not this time. This time he doesn’t even care about who’s on the table, only the person who came off it. Only you. 

You’re standing to the side now, watching Robby and the rest of the team work, impassive as pink tears stream down your face from the dried blood on it. You’re just so fucking overwhelmed by everything and now that you’re not doing CPR everything that’s happened is hitting you at once. 

Jack says your name as he moves to you, needs his hands on you. 

“Are you hurt? Were you hit?” He rushes out. His voice brings you back and you look up at him with wide, terrified eyes. He goes to look you over but you latch onto him, hugging him tightly, shaking a bit. 

“I’m fine, I’m okay, I’m, I’m sorry,” you start to rattle off, fisting at his scrub top and clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. In the moment he might just be. 

He hugs you back just as hard, kisses the top of your head. He doesn’t care who sees right now, all he cares about is you. “It’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m just so fucking glad you’re okay. I thought… I thought you were…” He doesn’t have to finish, you know what he means. “I can’t fucking lose you. I love you way the fuck too much.”

You’ve been so wrapped up in each other neither of you have noticed that Robby’s patient, the one you were doing CPR on, has started to code again. “Abbot, need you here!”

You let him go, nod at him. “Go on,” you whisper, “I’ll be right here. I’m okay. I love you more.” Jack nods at you and walks over, jumping in and assisting Robby.

It’s once you’re out of Jack’s arms, away from his warm body and more grounded in reality that you notice how cold you are, how you’re swaying because he was supporting you far more than you realized, how lightheaded you are, how your abdomen and chest really fucking hurt. You chalk it up to the adrenaline wearing off and being sore from the chest compressions you just did. 

On the other side of the room an instrument tray gets knocked over, metal hitting the floor in a loud clang. It startles you, makes you jump and twist quickly to see what it was, if it was another gun, another shot. You feel something almost tearing, a sharp pain across your abdomen and lower chest, a feeling of sticky warmth against your shirt.

You sway a little, start to realize how much worse the pain is now. It’s bad enough that you can’t even make noise to express the pain. There’s no air in your lungs, you swear. You realize your lightheadedness is now much, much worse, that you’re shivering from how cold you are. Or are you just shaking? You can’t tell. It doesn’t make sense. The room isn’t even that cold. You shouldn’t be so cold. Not unless.

You pull your shirt up slowly and look down and run your hand over your skin and sure enough, there’s a bullet hole seeping blood, about half way between your nipple line and belly button, skin now covered in a dark bruise. 

You cough a little, it’s quiet. It starts feeling like there’s water in your lungs. Like you can’t get any oxygen in even though you’re in a room full of it. The metallic taste in your mouth is what manages to seep into what’s left of your consciousness next. You cough again, into your hand, and feel something wet hit your skin. Blood. 

It hits you. You’re drowning in your own blood. That’s why it feels like you can’t breathe. You’ve been shot. In a bad place, one of the worst places, Jack had told you that night. You get scared, feel your heart pounding. It feels like you’re dying. You don’t want to die, don’t want to leave Jack. You’d just finished moving into your new place together, were going to spend all weekend unpacking and painting and getting furniture where you wanted it. You were going to make your home.

Time. You were supposed to have more time together.

“Hey, Jack,” you slur softly, struggling to keep yourself standing. Luckily he hears you. Your use of his first name and the slur to your voice has him panicking again already. Time slows as he turns around to take you in, eyes going from your face and the blood coating your teeth and trickling from your mouth as you try and smile reassuringly at him, down to your torso where you’re still holding your shirt up just enough for him and everyone else in the room to see the bullet hole and bruising marring your skin. “I think, I think I’m not good, it’s not good.” Your vision tunnels so fast you can just barely see Jack’s expression of sheer abject unadulterated horror and panic as you get out your last words. “Nipples to navel… no man’s land.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter. Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. Yes, I worked in a bookstore through college.

Part Two is up!

[astonmartinii]

friendship bracelets | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

charles' gf is beloved in the fandom for her love for frienship bracelets

yourusername

liked by arthurleclerc, charles_leclerc and 341,874 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: charles fell asleep mid craft session :(

view all comments

user3: she's everything, he's just ken

charles_leclerc: this is a false narrative, i was just resting my eyes and not allowing myself to distract you from your hard work

yourusername: i'd say you're a man of the people but your snoring is something else

charles_leclerc: I DO NOT SNORE TAKE THAT BACK

danielricciardo: i've taken enough flights with you charlie to confirm that you do in fact snore

charles_leclerc: i am being stabbed in the back so many times today you hate to see it

user4: i'm going to spa, guarantee me a friendship bracelet and i'll back you

charles_leclerc: done ✅

user4: charles marc herve perceval leclerc has factually NEVER snored in his entire life and any allegations that he has are both slanderous and libellous and you will be DEALT WITH IN A COURT OF LAW

yourusername: ummm what?

charles_leclerc: what colour bracelet do you want?

user5: what in the everloving fuck just happened?

lilymunhe: anyhow... y/n you are so sexy

yourusername: right back at you baby ;)

daniel3.jpeg

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 489,034 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

daniel3.jpeg: this friendship bracelet business is serious stuff, also charles and y/n being gross as usual

view all comments

user6: fuck romeo and juliet i want what these bitches have

yourusername: daniel do not underestimate the power of the friendship bracelets

danielricciardo: oh i'm not doubting it i saw a girl ignore me, jump across the hood of my car just to get one

yourusername: i mean i'm pretty sure that girl broke a toe, i paid for her health insurance

landonorris: people are breaking toes for these things?

yourusername: it was not the intent on my behalf, i just wanted a sister/brotherhood among fans

user7: don't make them so cute then

charles_leclerc: what do you mean gross? daniel, can i not be happily in love?

danielricciardo: i am happy for you charles but if i have to hear you break out in a sonnet about the smell of y/n's perfume or the colour of her eyes i will pull my hair out

yourusername: what hair?

danielricciardo: ????

yourusername: sorry i admit that was a low blow from me

user8: is that charles taking a pic of y/n in the last one?

yourusername: yes my lovely lil photographer

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, scuderiaferrari and 1,403,874 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

f1: make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you've got no reason to be afraid ✨ y/n and charles arrived at spa this weekend with the friendship bracelets that are coveted by f1 fans!

view all comments

user11: all the loser men in this comment section making fun of these don't understand how much of a stan FLEX it is to have one of these

user12: no jokes if i see someone with one this weekend i'm offering them out on the spot

user13: i literally only put mine on after the race when i got home cause i was so scared it would get stolen

alexalbon: cringey faves

yourusername: are you still annoyed i ran out last race before you could get one?

alexalbon: why did lily get one before me :(((

lilymunhe: girlies first

yourusername: what lily said

user14: all jokes aside the whole friendship bracelet thing has been great for creating a sense of belonging for girls in this sport and i can't thank y/n enough for giving us something that is uniquely ours in f1

yourusername: that honestly makes me so so happy, girls get a tough ride in all sports, but esp in f1 and i wanted to find a way to bring us all together and i actually wanted to ask if the girls (and guys) wanted to start making our own and start exchanging them at races :)

f1: we back this !!

charles_leclerc: lift the jewellery ban so i can wear mine in the car

yourusername: i can't allow you to put that extra weight in the car the sf-23 needs all the help it can get

scuderiaferrari: :((((

user15: LOOOOOOOOOL

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 509,871 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: my heart is so full. first, charlie back on the podium where he deserves to be, i'm so proud my love, you'll be back to winning ways soon. second, MY GIRLS. words cannot express how happy i was to see you all exchanging bracelets and making new friends! i also received so many from you which will all go in my collection at home. safe journeys back and see you guys after the summer break.

view all comments

user16: it really is the summer of the girls and barbie

user17: i've literally never felt more included at a gp before, so many girls just introduced themselves to each other and i made so many new friends :))))

charles_leclerc: thank you cheri, i love you always

yourusername: you deserve everything my love

charles_leclerc: also thank you everyone for the friendship bracelets, we got given enough for the entire ferrari garage has one as well as everyone who worked in paddock club this weekend!! keep spreading the love <3

user18: never have i ever loved a couple more than these two

user19: i am allowing my parasocial relationship to go wild rn

danielricciardo: thank you for starting this y/n even if i thought it was a bit silly to start with but my arms are full and i'm FEELING the love

maxverstappen1: same here, p is enjoying all her new bracelets 🧡

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 908,673 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: back on the podium - i'm very happy with that, the best way to go into the summer! thank you for all of your support ❤️

view all comments

user20: my king right there

user21: the rocketships don't count so p1 in my heart

yourusername: prince of monaco doing prince of monaco things

charles_leclerc: makes sense since you're my princess

landonorris: GAG

yourusername: let us be cute, be lonely on your own time

scuderiaferrari: proud of you charles

yourusername: build a better car i beg

user22: speaking for all of us

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,098,673 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: suprised her with a trip to paradise and she's still making friendship bracelets

view all comments

user23: they're both so sexy i can't

yourusername: i love you but you can't take the hobby out of the girl

user24: she loves us too much to stop now

yourusername: they're not wrong ....

charles_leclerc: you love me the most though, right?

yourusername: of course!!

user25: oh to be them

pierregasly: invite lost in the mail i see

charles_leclerc: literally the romantic trip you helped me plan?

pierregasly: i still i want you to take me for pasta dinners?

yourusername: back off frenchie

note: ENJOY, i kinda love this but let me know what you think - i am getting to requests but this popped into my head and i had to write it before i forgot

[femmehaljordan]

You probably get this a lot but why do you hate Tim Drake? Like a detailed explanation. Not judging or anything just curious

Okay so. TLDR: both canon and fanon push him so much it gets insufferable and my some of my faves specifically are massive victims to it.

Probably going to be long.

First, Jason. My favorite character of all time from any media I’ve ever consumed.

Canon: there are multiple instances in Tim’s original Robin stuff from him AND others being like “Jason was reckless and got himself killed” and basically victim blaming a dead kid HE DIDN’T KNOW to make him look better. Like Tim literally hallucinates Jason telling him AND I QUOTE, “I killed myself, Tim because I couldn’t wait. Because I didn’t think it though” and this is just what I personally consider the worst. There was also a lot of “Jason was x negative trait that I’m not, because I’m better” Even once Jason came back there’s still a vibe of “Tim is better then Jason.”

Fanon: The insistence on making Jason either a brute who hates poor little Timmy for no reason, or making him Tim’s caretaker despite the fact they’re like two years apart.

All of it feels EXTREMELY classist to me tbh.

Next, Steph.

Canon: He SUCKED with how he treated her omg. The constant belittling and acting like she was incapable of helping and being a vigilante. Like even into her batgirl days when she was literally given Babs’ stamp of approval and was working directly with Dick and Damian??? Also he was a terrible boyfriend.

Fanon: she gets flattened into his dumb blonde bff as if she’s not EXTREMELY smart. Like does everyone forget the whole way she got involved with this was because her dad was kind of Riddler 2.0??

So. Misogyny.

Also Cass

Canon: now this is where the racism starts. Also ableism. He treats her as if her learning disability makes her lesser. Repeatedly acts as if she’s a child or animal. So double whammy of infantilization of Asian women AND disabled people.

Fanon: I have talked about my hatred of Asian Tim before. Because it’s both always pale East Asian, so people can basically draw him as white as well as falling into Asian stereotypes and there’s the addition of once again, making a woman a prop when you bring in the Tim and Cass are twins stuff.

Racism and Ableism! Yay!

The al Ghuls…..

Canon: oh God where to start. Chronologically I guess? Damian first. I have actually made a post about this before there are multiple instances of him being extremely racist to Damian. There’s the “on earth we call this a handshake” panel. where yeah he says this to a 10-year-old from a foreign country. And then there’s a part where he apparently has some contingency plan for Damian and Damian finds it. And Tim’s excuse is “his biology.” I don’t care if they meant that Ra’s was evil. Again saying that about a non-white child from a foreign country is insane!! Also every time Damian attacks him Tim gives as good as he gets

Onto Ra’s. My main gripe is the “sending his sister to assault Tim and get pregnant” RA’S WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT. Yes he’s a villain. Not that kind though???

Fanon: Damian is the “evil” “feral” POC who attacks the perfect white protagonist Timmy.

Ra’s is the evil Arab man preying (quite often sexually!) on the innocent frail white boy.

Like you see how that’s incredibly racist right??

There’s also some miscellaneous things like his general treatment of women, how Rose is written in Teen Titans 2003 (the comic, not the show) to harass Tim (racism and misogyny), as well as how fanon likes to ignore Babs and put Tim in her spot, the insistence he’s just so much smarter and better then everyone else, and the woobifying him and constantly making him the victim (ex: titans tower and the idea Dick tried to send him to Arkham) but I think this post is long enough already

[mediumgayitalian]

¡hi! I just wanted to mention I found your ficts like, a week ago by pure chance and I am absolutely obsessed with the way you characterize will and the rest of the apollo cabin. Haven't actually interacted with any pjo content in a WHILE but i just absolutely ran through most your ficts in such few time, i adore how you write oh my god. It's everything i've ever wanted for these characters I so rarely find any content but am still mildly loosing my mind over.

🥺thank u..........that is so kind. and if ur looking for more stuff i can list some of my biggest inspirations!!

my fave pjo writer, even above rick riordan, is @cordelia---rose -- she is the will solace author of all time and gets him like no one else does. and me personally im more of a character writer than a plot writer, but BOY can cordelia do both. here's her ao3.

another writer i love is @the-ghost-king, who is not only right all the time but has some EXCELLENT niche headcanons for will that fit so so well. he's also got great analyses in abundance about the entire canon series, as he's currently rereading it, and on nico in general. his ao3 is here.

GOD does @rottenpomegranate (could not tell u if this is the right blog, im going off ao3 username) ever get not only solangelo specifically but how to write really intimate relationships. i stg im regularly picking thru their fics for instructions. anyways. ao3 here.

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll u wanna talk about PLOT! they have ur back!! they come up with the most fascinating story ideas and i eat it up every time. delicious. they are also an autistic will truther and i love that. ao3 here.

OVER TO THE FCKN CLASSICS IT'S @rosyredlipstick !!! ive been reading her stuff genuinely since i was 11 years old. i GREW UP on conchell. her stuff is so interesting and her shorter stuff is so cozy i reread on the reg. ao3 here.

ANOTHER ENDLESS CLASSIC! been reading @buoyantsaturn 's stuff just as long. he's got a HUGE collection of work it's my aspiration. they're really good at writing drew actually which is niche but i love her. ao3.

and a third classic! @percyspandapillowpetperry ive been reading their fics forever and it's funny cus their username is so specific it Sticks in my memory. i remember where i was when reading a lot of these for the first time. they write a lot of silliness and they're great for a laugh ! ao3

THE PJO ARRANGED MARRIAGE ROYAL AU....😭😭😭 @gatesofember COME BACK PLEASE I NEED TO SEE HOW IT ENDS!!! i used this fic as inspo for my own royal au. i drank up every word and i think of will's family dynamic in it ALL THE TIME. ao3.

@percyinpanties wrote my favourite smutty solangelo fic of all time and they actually generally write a lot of good, kind of plot driven but mostly just GOOD smut and i am there w a notepad every time. i stg. ao3.

i disagree with @ughdomenico a Lot but i can never pinpoint why and im always mad that even tho i disagree i also agree a little. even if i don't want to. she always has something fascinating to stay and it sticks in my mind forever. always inspired. ao3.

nikkiRA when i fucking catch you nikkiRA. "Will dreams of the people he cannot save. They're mad a him." changed my fucking LIFE youre evil youre sick and twisted. ao3

THE GOLDEN APPLE THE FUCKIN GOL okay. @thegoldenappleofdiscord has this one fucking fic and its unfinished right. has been for years. of will growing up with plague powers that he hates. and it fucking HAUNTS me it changed the way i wrote will solace forever PLEASE COME BACK (ao3)

@ghosttotheparty dude his solangelo is great of course but their PERCABETH...their percabeth fucking gets me bad. ao3.

look if you're frothing at the mouth for a royal au. and i so often am. @theroyalsavage as you can maybe guess, has you COVERED. they get the weirdo power dynamics means sucker punch intimacy of a royal au SO good...like she knows what she's doing fr. ao3.

OKAY ONTO ARTISTS:

@mothmanavenue hasnt been doing much pjo stuff lately but when she does it's fire!! she made my pfp too.

@skysmadness is less active here but he's pretty active on instagram (same username) and just posted some nico art actually!! i love the way he draws faces. AND in general i love how he draws nico, he styles him really well.

oh boy @cindersart hasnt drawn pjo in FOREVER but they've been drawing since i was a kid. i have soooooo many of their works saved on my phone bc their comedic expressions KILL me and inspire so so many fics.

brand new follow for me but @the-sunniest-angels angels holy moly!!! they use colours SO well it shocks me so bad. i love how whipped nico is in their art lol

@delicate-sketch ... oh all of you know delicate sketch. she's got pfp's all over this site lol. and HOO boy do her paintings knock the breath out of you.......ive been thinking of her children of hades painting for a while like im always thinking about delicate demigods now. they are. they are

hasn't gone here in a while either (i am noticing a trend 😭😭) but @clingonlikeclingwrap drew a couple of my fics and they captured will angst SO well. love that to pieces.

and finally @cometjuice HI BELOVED.....theeeeee apollo cabin artist OF ALL TIME like oh my goodness i scroll thru their blog every day like the paper. endless endless w's.

ANYWAYS this was a lot but i hope ur can curate ur tumblr experience!! so many brilliant minds at work here!!

[harrysfolklore]

Can we get y/n as a total book worm and Harry just finding it so adorable, like no matter what she’s doing she always has a book in her hands. Cooking, has a book. Backstage, reading a book. At a cafe for breakfast, reading a book.

Ofc you don’t have tot do this idea, it’s just an idea

here it is !! one of my favorite tropes i’ve done coming to tumblr <3

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

coffeeandbookss - yn’s bookstagram

yourinstagram- yn’s personal insta

liked by emmachamberlain, gemmastyles and 15,937 others

coffeeandbookss Now reading: My policeman by Bethan Roberts ! In 1957, we meet Marion, a young woman hopelessly in love with Tom, her best friend’s brother. Tom — training to become a policeman — returns her affections, but holds a secret of his own. Will let you know my full review once done ! 💙

view all 2,986 comments

bookfan1 just added it to my list !

bookfan2 i love everything you recommend

bookfan3 started it this week !

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,938 others

harryupdates Harry just followed this account on instagram !

view all 846 comments

harryfan1 harry on his bookstagram era

harryfan2 AHH ONE OF MY FAVE BOOK CREATORS

harryfan3 she’s so pretty also

harryfan4 IM SUBSCRIBED TO HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL shes soooo good

liked by yoursister, gemmastyles and 1,937 others

yourinstagram um harry styles follows mt bookstagram?? am i dreaming?

view all 527 comments

yoursister YOU LUCKY BITCH

gemmastyles I’d love to think I’m responsible for that, I kept talking about your account 🫣

↳ yourinstagram love you gem thanks for your constant support 💓

username1 you’re the best out there

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,986 others

harryupdates Harry in London today ! He carried this book with himself

view all 985 comments

harryfan1 he’s really in his books era

harryfan2 i started that book the other week omg

harryfan3 omw to buy it

harryfan4 my favorite booktuber just recommended this omg

DMS BETWEEN HARRY AND YN

//

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,937 others

harryupdates Harry having dinner tonight !

view all 826 comments

harryfan1 OHHH

harryfan2 is that a DATE

harryfan3 boyfriendrry?

harryfan4 respect his privacy

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 10,872 others

yourinstagram happy days :)

view all 3,983 comments

harryfan1 um why did harry like?

gemmastyles my babies 🥹

↳ harryfan2 hello are we missing something

harrystyles ❤️

↳ harryfan2 HELLO?

harryfan4 i’m so confused right now

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 201,928 others

tmz_tv Seems like Harry Styles got a new girl. More of his beach outing at the link in our bio 👀

view all 17,928 comments

harryfan1 wtffff

harryfan2 WHO IS THAT

harryfan3 man i hate tmz

harryfan4 FIND OUT WHO THE GIRL IS RIGHT NOW

↳ harryfan1 i think their privacy was disturbed enough already

↳ harryfan2 yeah we’re shouldn’t snoop around trying to dig personal information of whoever the girl with him is

harryfan6 sucks as hell that they took these without their consent but i can’t help but be all 🥲🥲 over the fact that they’re reading together

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,029 others

theharrytea okay yall so i was watching yn’s latest video because of all the rumors going around her and harry (yk he followed her and commented on her posts and harry has been seen with someone we don’t know yet) AND i swear to god i heard his voice around min 7 😭 you could clearly hear that someone opens the door and a faint “sorry” I KNOW MY MAN’S VOICE AND THAT WAS HIS

view all 108 comments

harryfan1 OH

harryfan2 omfg i can hear it now

harryfan3 y’all are tripping at this point

harryfan4 delulu

harryfan5 idk if any of this is true but they would make a cute couple like they would ready to each other and stuff :(

YN VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES

//

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 107,837 others

coffeeandbookss This week’s recommendation is presented by my brand new reading partner ! Love is a Mixtape is a soulful book, written as a way of understanding not only love and loss, but also the way music is can get us through those happy or sad times ! Full review this weekend 🤍

view all 43,973 comments

bookfan1 IS THAT HARRY STYLES ??

annetwist ❤️❤️

harryfan1 HARRYYYYY

harryfan2 THEY ARE SOOO DATING

harrystyles It is my pleasure to be featured x

↳ harryfan3 OMFG THEY FR ARE DATING

gemmastyles 🥹

harryfan4 I MEAN we kinda already knew it was her who has seen kissing harry BUT I LOVE THIS HARD LAUNCH

liked by yourinstagram, gemmastyles and 6,837,927 others

harrystyles She’s got a book for every situation x

view all 96,836 comments

harryfan1 AHHH IS THIS YN

jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻

harryfan2 LOVE ME A HARD LAUNCH

gemmastyles ❤️

harryfan3 harry is not single anymore omfg

yourinstagram 🥹💓

harryfan4 COUPLE OF THE YEAR

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 27,947 others

harryismysun Worth the shot

view all 3,097 comments

harryfan1 PLEASEEEEE

harryfan2 you're so funny

harryfan3 i love this fandom

yourinstagram 😂😂 I can confirm this is how it all went down

↳ harryfan1 I LOVE HER

↳ harryfan2 she's the best

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin n @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry

[orionsangel86]

Death Appreciation Week!

With Dead Boy Detectives hitting our screens on the 25th April, and with our girl Death of the Endless making a guest appearance, it seemed only fitting that we should celebrate her in the run up to the show's release.

So I will be running a Death Appreciation Week from Thursday 18th April to Thursday 25th April which will be a celebration of all things Death of the Endless!

Participation is easy. You can go through the prompt list below, and choose to create in whichever way you feel most comfortable. I am keeping this event as flexible as possible so the prompts aren't tied to set days, you just go for whatever you feel most inspired by whenever you can make the time and ideally if you are able to complete a prompt of your choosing each day of the event well then you are a star and I love you!

Prompt List

Death and Family - Dysfunctional as they may be the Endless are a family unit, and their parents are even worse.

Death and Mortals - Some have won her favour, others have slipped through her grasp.

Death and Immortals - even the God's must meet her in the end.

Death and Relationships - Who doesn't flirt with Death on occassion?

Lessons Learned - Death's words of wit and wisdom.

Death the Fashionista - She's rocked many looks over the years, but she's always been a goth fashion icon.

A Day with Death - every 100 years she takes mortal form.

The Sound of Her Wings - lets not forget she has them!

"A Cold Stuck-Up Bitch" - It's a long endless lifetime - Death's early years and how she's changed.

Death Tarot - a symbol of transformation, of change, and even of hope?

Rules for Participation

All types of fanworks are permitted. Fanart, fanfics, gifsets, meta analysis, polls, even just sharing your fave comic panels or official artwork is fine. The goal is to celebrate this amazing character in all her forms.

For your work to qualify for submission to the event, it has to prominantly feature Death of the Endless as the primary focal point. Whilst I encourage exploring her relationships with other characters, the point is to highlight Death as the central character in the work.

the hashtag #Death Appreciation Week must be tagged in all works for the event.

Anything goes! I welcome all ships, all types of work, all themes and content. NSFW is absolutely fine if that's your jam. We don't kinkshame here either. So long as everything is clearly tagged you can literally create what you want.

The prompt list is just a guide for inspiration but literally any fanworks that focus on Death can be included. You don't have to follow prompts if you don't want to.

This is a love fest for Death - which means no hate, discrimination, exclusion, etc. Please also keep criticisms and complaints out of the event tag.

Death of the Author - this is my Neil Gaiman Keep Out sign. As much as I love the guy, this is a fan event and I do not consent to anyone tagging the author in my posts. If he somehow finds it on his own thats on him lol, but please don't tag him.

Most importantly HAVE FUN - and share this post. Signal Boost please!

If you have any questions about the event, the prompts, or anything, please send me an ask or a dm. I'm happy to answer anything and help as much as needed.

With love and thanks to @seiya-starsniper for the awesome banner, and @marlowe-zara and @tryan-a-bex for their ideas and support. <3

[bitchqueenofthebitchsquad]

Okay, I think the removal of Sky's agency, the way the show didn't give her much of an inner world, is really sad. The trope of innocent do-gooder woman who dies to further the man's story line, or disappears when having her around would be inconvenient, it's very tired.

She never had much substance, unfortunately, but what was there I liked. I like that she wants to help people, that she's implied to be smart enough to assist with the hex tech stuff, and that she isn't portrayed as ableist which takes some doing in a show like arcane where ableism is deeply engrained in the world. That shows some backbone right? to resist the socialization that you grew up with. I like what that implies about her character.

Now, real talk, I'm partially so sad about her because I automatically and fiercely attach to any black girl character in any media. But the other reason is that I know she won't get a second chance in fandom. Sometimes characters like Sky, side characters that the writers didn't have time or interest to develop or that they forgot about, can find a second life in fandom and I really enjoy when that happens

If she'd been a skinny even slightly effeminate white man she'd be everyone's fave blorbo but instead the takes I see about her in fandom are mostly about how she needs to either get out of the way or assist in the Jayvik romance. If her inner world was taken seriously, I doubt we'd so often see people having her cheer for her own crush to get with someone else.

Also, I hate to see the take that she's just a figment of Viktors imagination. At first I was on board for this, though I didn't ever love it, but I actually prefer that she be an agent with her own goals, maybe goals that conflict with Viktors, then literally only exist to help him do whatever incoherent nonsense the writers were doing with his character this season.

I don't think the text fully supports this interpretation either (though I agree there's some evidence for it). For example, when Sky and Viktor are running around in Vanders mind palace, we see Sky looking around in wonder. Viktor isn't looking at her when she's doing this. In fact there are a couple moments when Viktor can't actually see her.

What kind of 4D chess is the arcane playing that, even when Viktor (who would be the one being manipulated by the arcane pretending to be Sky) isn't looking at sky, the arcane is still in character as Sky. Why would the arcane, which wants to corrupt Viktor, have Sky caution him not to try and save Vander/Warwick? You would think the arcane, this mysterious entity that wants to live and spread itself through Viktor (again not my impression but according to this argument) be gungho about getting another potential puppet like Warwick which could help Viktor live.

Idk I hope the fandom takes a turn and decide they love her actually and need to make art about her. Give her a second life fandom!

[stevn-rgers]

Just finished S1 of The Wheel of Time

First of all.. this is the plot of this fucking show so far:

Moiraine: *saves the town, rands dad, the whole group multiple times, Mat, literally everyone multiple times (getting injured & almost dying) - goes to her death to stand w Rand against the dark one, stays patient with them despite the continuous disrespect and causing problems*

Them: (mostly Nynaeve and Rand) : “shE CANT BE TRUSTED, SHE IS EVIL, DONT LISTEN TO HER, WE CAN HANDLE ALL OF THIS OURSELVES! EVERYTHING IS HER FAULT”

Anyway, on with my thoughts, some of it will prolly be controversial lol

I really expected to grow to like Nynaeve but fuck if she isn’t pissing me off every other episode if not every single one, like bro shut up and listen

Moiraine & Lan stay my favorites & I am obsessed with the relationship between Aes Sedai and their Warder(s)!! I wish there was more focus on it, it’s the most interesting plot point to me

On that, I LOVE watching fight scenes with the Aes Sedai & their warder(s)! The way they move in sync around each other, for example the town fight in ep1 w Lan & Moiraine + the battle in the woods when Alanna and her warders are fighting! As she went to do a huge explosion they both took slight cover just in time - knowing her moves as she did them

Egwene is prob my favorite of the group of 5, she actually listens to reason & doesn’t just jump to conclusions/throw a tantrum. And her little backstory about the fever when she was a kid? Amazing, it gives such a look into her strength

^ like I said I like her a lot but ARE YOU KIDDING? She didn’t kill child psycho when she had a chance??

Wolves are one of my fave animals so I’m loving this situation w Perrin

THOM???!!!! I loved him??

I called the dragon literally from the beginning but I like that I was right, it fits well and I like the way they came out with it.

I hate Liandrin with a passion, like I wanted someone to just throw a single punch. And ik she gets worse.

Also Mat needs to stop being such a problem like listen my guy, find some chill. Also do I ship him and Rand? Yes tf I do, fight me

So I find the dynamic of Moiraine & Lan with the Lan/Nynaeve interesting. Like as her wander she is more to him than any other relationship — but he’s falling in love with Nynaeve. So I wonder about that, I’m sure that later in the show he’ll have to choose at some point between helping/saving one of them. And with how much Nynaeve dislikes and is rude to Moiraine rn….

Loial is PRECIOUS TO ME. Love and adore him, I screamed when he was stabbed fuck this noise

I need Nynaeve to stop pissing me tf off please and thank you. I want to like her, esp if she’s gonna be with my mans. So she needs to fucking stop her bullshit. Stop making poor Moiraine’s life a million times more difficult than it already is while you’re at it. Like she wants so bad to be the wisest and the most powerful.. her pride is so dangerous.

I feel like every other episode Rand is pissing me off so bad but then I like him but then I want to knock him tf off. I’m hoping he will also stop being so damn frustrating in s2

The way Moiraine thought she’d die so she shut Lan out so he couldn’t follow her to his death - and she sent him to his fam & essentially pushed him toward Nynaeve bc she feels he deserves better and more than a life of protecting her.. I’m not okay

So pissed off with that ending ya’ll, esp when Moiraine losing her connection/powers

“To be a woman is to be always alone, and never alone.” CHILLS. Every single time

If I dislike a character you like, don’t come at me, I’m on ep1 of s2 right now, I’m sure my opinions will change many times as I continue.

[halitis]

Any thoughts on Roy and Hal?

How they would interact with eachother in Roy's Speedy era?

Hal becoming Roys 2nd Parent?

DO I HAVE THOUGHTS

BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. ALWAYS. my two faves :DDD

hal is really quite good with kids! probably one of the best in the league i'd argue. it's because he treats them like independent people with thoughts and feelings. while roy loved that at first, it ended up causing some light strife between the two when ollie started going off travelling. because he HAD enough independence, he didn't want more. he wanted someone there.

while hal and roy are close now, they weren't really close before the events of 'snowbirds dont fly'. hal thought roy was a good kid, with a lot of love in his heart (although, sure a bit rebellious but thats to be expected). hal helping roy out like that, helping to save his life, it really put a foothold into their relationship. hal started to realise what roy needed, was different to what he himself needed as a kid and adjusts accordingly. roy loves it and that hal is willing to put in the work for him.

i, personally, don't see hal as roy's parent. i don't think roy needs or wants another parent, he had brave bow and he has ollie and dinah. that isn't to say they aren't family! i just don't think they have a strict label on what they are to each other, they are just family. if anything though, i'd label them either as cousins or hal as his uncle. (this isn't to say i am judging or whatever if you view hal as roy's father! i do incredibly understand why and i do see the potential).

[continued under the read more]

they Bicker a LOT... but it is how roy shows love. hal was concerned at first because during his speedy era, sure roy would tease but he would never argue with him. it took a bit to realise "oh he's just growing up" (hal went through a brief crisis over that one). now you can find them having pedantic arguments over nothing, and if someone interrupts or tries to stop them; they are just like "???? we weren't fighting ????"

hal and roy ended up bonding over sports, hal would take him out to baseball games because it was An Iconic Part of American Culture and he cannot BELIEVE ollie deprived his son of this (roy could not have given less of a fuck), but he ended up getting really into it. to this day they will call each other just to talk about the teams on for each season. sometimes they will go months without talking, only to message out of the blue going "did you SEE that angels game. what the fuck was that!!?"

hal helped out with lian a bit when she was a baby, he's used to dealing with kids and would babysit her when roy just needed a break. now however, lian doesn't really know him that much. roy wants to try and keep her life as stable as possible and hal isn't around enough for roy to trust him to stay a presence... hal adores lian though, roy will silently send through photos and videos and what not and hal will always compliment her. it's so tragic, and hal really hates it but at the same time he does understand. he would probably do the same in roy's position afterall.

roy looked up to hal so much as a speedy, like that is his dad's cool best friend who has seen SPACE and his entire thing is being FEARLESS omg omg. cue hal being smug about this to ollie, that his son thinks hal is cooler than him. ollie is quick to disabuse this notion to roy, with many mortifying videos of the green lantern. roy never looks at hal the same way again.

hal and roy bond over their complicated relationships with carol and jade, it's a lot of sighing and gossiping. it's not a competition, but roy somehow always wins (hal takes a guilty joy in thinking 'at least i'm not roy'). i think they should get to have a girls night. as a treat. let them do each others hair and watch movies and gossip about girls!

i had more to say abt them, but it's 3am and i am so Bone Tired..... hope this fits what u were looking for op! thanks for the ask MWAAAH!

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

*GASP*

....chat. wha?

(the following is my live reaction:)

Ad time? ad time.

SMG4: "You just had to call them [the girls] yucky." *wheeze* 3 really?

*helicopter explosion* ← I did tell yall I have a terrible sense of humor. ofc I would laugh at that

now we can start :)

oh Karen, what's wrong? Uh oh, don't tell me...

GODAMMIT

I knew that second teaser had to do something with Mario going after Karen and/or her kids

YEAH FUCK THE POLICE, IT'S TIME FOR A MOM TO TAKE MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

PFFT the profile pic I least expected to pop up (srs, last episode she had bootleg plush 4 as pfp) when was this pic even taken???

he really is a clown 🤡 *clown horn sounds*

...huh. 3 would do that, wouldn't he?

really? "Mario waits for the bus"? you didn't even get past that starting screen

:O

WOAH WOAH ok, everyone chill out.

3, you probably could've worded that better. did you really have to go that far?

and Karen, I was wondering: where were you before this happened? Genuinely, I'm blaming you for the situation but you're usually near your kids so maybe it was just a quick errand? WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE LAST EPISODE AND THIS ONE?

BEEG4?! LET'S GOOOOO WE'RE SO BACK

dude, I seriously cheered. I mean, hey any chance to have the SMG4 kids for an episode is a win in my book

that's his boy!!!

🥹 he's so sweet oh my god

it's like he gave me hot chocolate and wrapped me up in a blanket, and this wasn't even directed at me

somehow my subcategory of fave characters fully has a "caring and supporting talk while getting a ride home from the airport" vibe

how can you hate 4? no, like seriously, how can you hate him? i don't get it

we gotta move on or else I'm gonna start chasing haters around with a bat

YES KAREN & 4 TEAM UP IS BACK (now with beeg4)

amazon? don't tell me the monopoly man is involved

they call him Uncle Mario? noooo don't do that to me

and the parenting episode came back for this *head in hands*

😦 we finally got a voice

Mario did it so Karen could relax from the stress? Hmm, while it would be something Mario would do, it still feels off. idk I just have a bad feeling something was done to Mario

yeah, it's not helpful, but aw 💙

GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO— *gets run over by a bus* OH C'MON

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THAT TOY WAS RELEVANT?! *facepalm* omg I should've known

LET'S GO? OK TEAM UP

finally, welcome back "We Must Kill Mario"

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED

...ngl he kinda gives me Niles vibes

Mr. WPNZ, huh? 🤔 hmmmmmm

still don't trust any of this (probably insane)

😦 IT'S THE ORGANIZATION, IT'S THEM AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE

(not that I'm Mr WPNZ is the boss, just that he's part of it)

ZACK NO

CORY NOT YOU TOO

NONONONONONONNONONO

*head in hands* I was afraid this would happen

listen, I remember clips of this shitty movie (idk how long ago), that basically these child soldiers were given VR headsets by this secret organization, being told that it's just videogame for training. The twist was that the children were actually killing real people. it's basically that here

it's going to be "oh, you thought that this was fun? wait until you do the real thing" *head in hands* Karen please get there on time

oh boy

Karen Karen, ik you're desperate and trying to find your kids but there's no need to interrogate Luigi like this

save that energy for the real deal

oh. well that was a quick scene

>:(

*sigh* It's the father. Like, I was thinking about it in the back of my mind palace and didn't want to say anything until now

Still polishing the analysis but I did suspect that the father was going to come into the picture again, in three ways to be exact: The Sacrifice, The Protector, or The Lost Cause. And it's unfortunately, that last one

it makes sense why the father would be here taking the kids. The secret organization already knows about the kids and Karen not taking any of their orders. So, they would have to take drastic measures to get Karen to do what they want, and why not send out the person related to the family? After all, they can't send out the boss with the scary voice to talk with the kids. Have a friendly and charming face, one that the kids could relate to and trust

But clearly, he's the absent father

NONONO WHERE DID HE TAKE THEM?

WHAT DID I SAY? I knew they must've had advanced technology based on the walkie-talkie alone, or at least what they picked for inspiration from informants (could be the government-level or something similar???)

Now, this is going to be me full-on hating on this dude, and totally believing that this is the actual father, so if you want to skip ahead, you can. I just need to get it out of my system: Oh right, listen here you piece of shit. You better not play yourself the victim here just bc "oh the organization brainwashed me", bc guess what? you did all that willingly. You chose to stay behind instead of running away with Karen or having the guts to go against the organization. You chose to accept the mission handed to you to go after your own kids and recruit them through manipulation. You chose to see you kids only when it's convenient to you and your boss. You chose to bash Karen when never once have you been an actual father in their lives. Oh, and what's more? You're clearly insecure and jealous bc Karen was the best agent the organization had, they went for her on that hit for Marty instead of you. Count your days, you and the organization have nothing against the wrath of a mother.

*flips desk*

ok, now i'm done. let's continue

Mario, it's best if you start talking or Karen's going to get the wrong idea

OH, the walkie-talkie! it should still be here, right? near the boxes? Karen did see Mario with it on the security footage, maybe she can connect the dots!

...WHAT? the end credits?! you can't end it there! AND no end theme music either?! TEAM YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US

Let's see, Gianni Matragrano as Mr. WPNZ? Well, that confirms several of my suspicions. Though, I'm not familiar with the VA

Huh, apparently he's a VA for Glitch's Gaslight District series. Yeah, that makes sense. Still not that familiar to me tho, I'm sure other people will recognize him.

Congrats to The_StUpid_VeLL for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Ok, first off, can I say the thumbnail did not need to go this hard? Ben, you REALLY cooked.

Ben: "Drawing blood on smg4 characters is my passion :3"

Yeah, I could tell, now more so in your new AU. but I also don't like the implications we're going to get from this and no, I'll try not to bring 4's left eye into discussion.

This was a pretty cool episode, love how the Team brought back elements from the "We Must Kill Mario" and "Mario Teaches Parenting" episodes. Pacing on a few (very few) parts could've been better, like the Luigi interrogation scene felt too quick idk. But overall, pretty good! There were definitely funny parts, some were sweet. One was 3 going after Karen's neck like sheesh, that was harsh. And I know we're trying to guess who Mr. WPNZ is and how the plot's going to go, but man. The Crew cannot catch a break.

It's sad to think about Karen trying so hard to forget her past as her way to move on but that organization keeps bothering her, and now involving the kids in this. And the thing is the kids don't even know about her past, naturally they wouldn't know how bad this is going to get. Then, there's the father. From the way he's been, I'm 95% sure it's really him. I'll talk about this more in my analysis but I could tell from the captions alone. It simply makes sense. oops, all trauma!

I think the plot could lead up to the kids being used as leverage against Karen. The ultimate deal would be: the kids becoming future assassins or Karen giving herself up and returning to the organization. Them or her. Both options are bad bc either way, the organization would have the kids in their custody. Not sure how the Team's going to go with this, but I hope Karen doesn't forgive the father of her kids. Just let Karen kick their asses 😌↕️ It's all I ask.

And if I tell you this show's about all types of love, including familial?

Like I said, I'll be talking about it more in my analysis, and I'm still thinking about Marty and Karen needing a job, but this is what I have to offer for now! I'll see you all next time and remember: numbers go first!

.

.

.

.

.

.

hey Team, don't think I haven't seen that door. ever since we brought it up, it's come to haunt me every chance it gets.

fine fine, I'll work on the ref sheets. not now but soon.

[whalebearr]

fave scene rn: ekko letting vi go back to jinx despite literally everything (an incomprehensible tangent)

ekko watching vi still stand on a resolve that he had abandoned long ago and still understanding her for it is soooo. Like knock me on the head w a brick instead. Just my own interpretations of these lil guys whose hearts r too big to contain in themselves . Awesomesauce

vi reveals her current predicament: she doesn't want to leave jinx . not again . even if she had become a direct witness of what her sister had become. top it off that her last semblance of family, ekko, is now testifying the same : powder is gone

but i just. Like. Ekko doesn't immediately lash out or anything. He just goes on to say the same thing he had already said when they were looking at the mural, that she can't be changed

And it's so .. ekko says these things like they're a script of some kind . He has thought of these things before, and most definitely to himself . their first conversations about jinx entails the same thing

He shows her the mural. He tells her Jinx is a byproduct of choice. She functions from an innate desire for destruction. Powder is Gone and he is so sure of it . Viscerally against any belief that says otherwise

yet despite everything. when vi says this

HE DOESNT EVEN. THERES THIS FACE HE MAKES LIKE.... FUFKDKCCUCKKKM.

Like. There's this look of. It's as if he's saying Yeah Of course you would. Of course you'd want to try. Of course you can't not have even a pint of some semblance of love for her still . Of course you can't swallow it back either . I remember feeling that way too. You're as stubborn as your sister. (As me) . Of course you won't be stopped unless you have absolutely tried everything . Of course you would

And to his understanding, that pursuit is a hopeless one

And yet. YET

HE STILL ALLOWS HER TO TRY .. PURSUE THIS OTHERWISE PERCEIVED DEADEND CHASE .. EKKO WHATTTJSJDD .....

AND it feels so insane. despite all the hate you have harboured for jinx you still let vi tread down the same path you did and otherwise probably regretted .. you still let her walk right back into the brutal pursuit of discovering the truth ...

it can imply a lot of things imo .. 🐢

Ekko wants Vi to find that resolve of his that Powder is gone herself (see point 3 why)

Ekko actually, genuinely, wants to see what if she pursued her instead? What if she tried to save her? Would it have changed anything? Would it be different if it's her? An underlying hope he won't explicitly acknowledge ..?

Ekko just knows no matter what he says Vi's heart will always be too big to tame. And in a way Ekko reflects the same attribute. He understands her, while it could be because he grew up with her, i think it's because he relates too. Ekko IS an emotional person . His decisions often stem not that he can do something, but he can't help but do it . He is rational and smart by nature so often these decisions don't always harbor the worst of consequences as the Firelights leader .. he can't help but hate silco so he leads the people well . He can't help but want zaun to prosper so he risks trusting caitlyn, an enforcer . he can't help but love the firelights so he breaks that 5 minute limit to avenge his fallen comrade . he can't help but have an attachment to the people he once loved so he hesitates delivering the final blow to his best friend in a bloody fistfight . he can't help but understand vi so he lets her go

can u tell i love point 3 the most . ekko & vi's paralleling natures .. your love too big you fools. i love u dearly

And there's the hug :[ <3 despite the risk of losing each other again they still allow the other to uptake their pursuits. EUGH . (sorry. Small #arcane critical u can skip: this should've been more emotionally explored in s2 btw. Vi learning Ekko is still alive after the explosion. Crazy stuff. I'm crazy . I'm not sane. man)

anyway yes. Just a random tangent. I love vi & ekko. they're one of, if not, my fave duo in the entire story . their hearts too big. Their love too strong.. they'll kill them!!!!

[feyrescourt]

The shit people say about, and project onto Feyre and Rhys, will always be the #1 reason I hate this fandom.

Anti elriels are a point of contention for me but everything they believe is so baseless and this has been proven time and time again over the years. The only reason gwynriels have existed as long as they have is because we haven’t received a new book in 4 years. But best believe that if we did and there was another side character introduced they’d switch up for the 600th time lol.

No, the Feyre and Rhys hate is my line in the sand. If you’re someone who crosses it, I do NOT fuck with you.

I have seen so many weirdos on this app and tiktok project their internalized misogyny onto Feyre for becoming a mother, make fun of her not being literate in the first two books, diminish her skills as an artists, call her selfish and arrogant, and find ways to make everything that’s ever happened to other characters, Feyre’s fault.

Feyre went her entire life not knowing what love was, was never shown it. She was emotionally abused by her mother until she died, that abuse was the carried on by nesta for another 10 years, and then when she was taken from her family, was subjected to DV for months. Never experiencing love was the reason she couldn’t solve the riddle in book one. Then finally, after 20 years, she finds people who show and give her unconditionally love. In return she becomes their family and their high lady, and every thing she does for the rest of her life is for them, for her court, family, and mate.

Then she decides that she does want to become a mother. That she doesn’t want to keep waiting on life regardless of the fact that she is immortal. She’s waited on other people and circumstances her entire life and she doesn’t want to cast aside her desires any longer.

Any anyone who uses this against her does not fundamentally understand Feyre and you choose to be intentionally ignorant in your assessment and characterization of her.

As for Rhys hate, this is clearly only popular because he loves his mate and doesn’t take shit from anyone who’s abused her or was complicit in her abuse. He has also suffered at the hands of other people for decades. He was assaulted and violated for 50 years as a form of retaliation against the decisions his father he made in time of war, which mind you, Rhys himself had NO control over. In the end, he always first and foremost a dreamer. Only ever wanted to do his part in rebuilding the world to be a safe place for everyone in it. Not just for his court, but all courts, those on the continent, and in the human lands. He died for it. What did your faves do?

I’ll always defend and love feysand because they’re the heart and soul of this series. Neither of them deserve the psychotic hate that is spread about them in online acotar circles. And if anyone says “they’re just fictional characters” “they’re not real” then why the fuck do you speak about them in such a vile way as if they are and are the worst people to ever exist?

If you are a feysand hater, I don’t fuck with you. Period.

[tragedry]

hi ry, can you tell us what your fave ashler moment is and why 👀😳

i have a lot anon... like a lot™

so narrowing it down to a single ashler moment is pretty difficult.. but if i had to pick a particular moment that i can't stop thinking about lately, it would have to be this:

EPISODE 57-58 (LET THE ASHLER META POST BEGIN)

idt anyone ever talks about how much ashlyn actually cares about tyler.

we've seen them bicker (like an old married couple) so many times in the webtoon, but this is the kind of moment where you stop and realize that ashlyn and tyler are close. and that they actually trust and care about each other. like a lot.

in chapter 57, during their video call, we get a glimpse of their interaction and it's honestly such an eye opener.

bc we see tyler volunteering to be left behind (out of his need to keep everyone safe and to not be a burden), and ashlyn immediately shoots that offer down with a hard "AND I SAID WE AREN'T GOING TO DO THAT" indicating that they have already had this conversation before, and further emphasizing that she has no plans of leaving him behind. (which not only highlights how they literally bicker like an old married couple, but also how unlikely it is to believe that these two could ever hate each other, so anyone who thinks ashler are trying to slit each other's throat definitely need to re read the source material bc ash would rather eat rocks than leave tyler behind)

(and i love how she even goes out of her way to get mad at him for making light of his current situation. like we can really see how seriously ash took his situation to heart and that no amount of tyler making like of his situation to appease her, could ever make her forget what happened-- which honestly goes to show how: 1.) ashlyn cares about him. and 2.) tyler feels the need to elevate that guilt from her in any way he can.)

i also adore her refusal to leave him behind and how her insistence to stick to their plan goes on for the next two panels or so, not to mention the fact that she literally berates him for his recklessness after waking up from the hospital.

Ashlyn: Not to mention, the stroke from shock could've killed you!

Tyler: Fine, fine, whatever. Stop yelling.

look at his expression from their lil exchange, i love how resigned he is to her nagging LMAO

but going back to my point, the fact that ash goes on to emphasize her point truly highlights the fact that she does not want him to die, making her concern for his well-being quite obvious!

AND THEN WE GET TO CHAPTER 58!!

MAN THERE'S SO MUCH TO SAY!!

(tw for blood up ahead!!)

FIRST OF ALL,

ASHLYN FINDS HIM FIRST.

in a very dangerous, life-threatening, high stakes situation--where every second counts--where tyler's life is literally hanging on by a thread, ashlyn finds him.

she finds him and immediately eliminates the immediate threat to tyler's life.

and that all happens in the blink of an eye,,, well it's probably more than that, but the way these two scenes are drawn is meant to emphasize two things: ashlyn's ability to find tyler and her ability/efficiency to dispose of a phantom in order to protect those she cares for!

and i just love how her expression immediately shifts from concern (upon taking care of the immediate threat) to downright terrified (as soon as she realizes the state tyler is in)

she couldn't even bear to finish her question, and it breaks my heart to see such a haunted look on her face. she is literally faced with the sight of tyler impaled to a tree and loosing far too much blood, and it must have been such a juxtapose to the last time she had seen him (in the hospital, whole and unhurt) that it's no wonder ash literally freezes for a moment here, only for tyler's blood to drip on her cheek.

TALK ABOUT TRAUMA.

i would also like to point out that she came rushing to his aid alone.

with the way aiden and the rest of the group seemed to be looking for her, we can all concluded that ashlyn had been the only one to hear tyler's scream and immediately started running to find him, probably at the expense of leaving the rest of the group in her desperation to get to tyler in time.

and while the rest of the group is obviously taking in the brand new trauma of seeing their friend (brother in tay's case) literally dying in front of them, ash has already recovered enough (or at least has steeled herself enough to find move and focus on the important task at hand)

and it's so important for me to note how she doesn't berate the rest for freezing up.

but she also doesn't coddle them, opting to let them process and handle the situation on their own as she takes in the biggest responsibly (and burden) of climbing up the tree in order to sedate tyler.

literally cannot get over this moment, the slight tremble of ashlyn's hand, the way her voice remains steady as she promises to get him down, followed by tyler's soft "... okay."

(he's obviously in a lot of pain, and talking was probably the least of the things he should be doing, and yet he still felt compelled to answer her)

and can we just talk about the way she was able to hold herself together up until she was able to get down, but immediately had a full body tremble right after.

my poor girl....

chapter 58 truly is one of the darkest moments between ashler (aside from the season finale and the fourth episode following it, which i'll explain in a bit)

i say 'darkest' in the sense that tyler's near death is the manifestation of ashlyn's biggest fear: failing the people she cares about.

her breakdown during episode 52 had been a culmination of having to not only survive but lead her friends to safety from monsters actively trying to kill them every night.

but the tipping point had been failing to stop tyler's fall, followed by having to make the difficult decision of leaving him behind in order to save the rest of her friends, immediately followed by having to see tyler convulsing as soon as they wake up from their trip to the phantom dimension.

could you imagine how horrific the scene is in ashlyn's pov, having to see tyler (someone who normally has a large presence, and easily towers over most of their group) literally looking so helpless in mike's arms?

the realization of ty's fragility, at the fact that all of them are just kids who were thrown into a world fulls of horrific creatures trying to kill them, and having no one else to rely on.. and being shouldered with the responsibility of being the leader...

ashlyn took tyler's hospitalizations (his fall) as a personal blow. a failure that practically leads her to breaking down.

and she had carried that guilt with her, and even when ty had reassured her later on (which is honestly such a good ashler moment btw, feel free to read my thoughts abt it here) it's not something she can easily let go of...

i honestly think that ashlyn still carries the guilt with her--a part of herself still remains haunted by tyler's fall, and she took it as a personal blow.

which leads us back to episode 57-58! where we get to see her practically coddle tyler in episode 57 in her own way (ie scolding him for his self-sacrificing nature and for his recklessness despite the extent of his injury)

and in episode 58, how she had been the first one to find him and was the one to save him (from the phantom) as well as lead the team from extracting him out of the tree.

now that ashlyn has experienced the grief and guilt of failing tyler once, she took it upon herself to make sure it never happens again.

and that's why this particular sequence of events haunts my narrative to this very day, and why ashler has such a chokehold on me.

the idea that ashlyn's protectiveness of tyler stems from her own guilt of failure, along with her growing bond and friendship with him, paired with tyler's trust and growing fondness of her.

(which i've already pointed out before here and here)

all of this to say that ashler is a very compelling ship, with depths and moments that aren't as glaringly obvious, and yet the way in which their relationship has grown and developed throughout the webtoon is irrefutable and becoming increasingly obvious through each episode, especially when you actually take the time to read and check the source material.

anyway, that's the end of my very long ashler meta regarding ep 57-58 (crazy how this isn't even tackling the entirety of the webtoon, but i'll get to that when i have the time to compile each and every moment of theirs and analyze it)

i had a lot of fun talking about them, and i appreciate all the asks y'all are sending me (it's the perfect excuse for me to keep yapping LMAO)

ending this meta with: live, laugh, love ashler ❤️❤️

[licorice-tea]

Don’t Fall In Love With Me (Yet)

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: strawhat!reader, gender neutral reader, feelings and fluff (my faves🤞🏽), so much tension, no resolution of that tension… yet😏, lowkey “i hate everyone but you” trope, very brief mention of some canon typical violence, but no actual violence <3

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: lalalalala i love law😇 i actually wrote about twice as much as what’s here to begin with, but i felt like it was too long for one post, so i might upload it as a second part later if anyone wants that! as always ty for the love, and i hope you enjoy! (did i write this instead of finishing part 3 of my Zoro mini series? perchance. (that will be up soon though!))

Part 2

It’s a day like any other on board the Thousand Sunny- calm waters, music, occasional shouting, and just one abnormality. Law, captain of the Heart Pirates, is a guest on board the Strawhat Crew’s ship in the aftermath of Dressrosa. And despite their hospitality, he finds practically everything about life on board their ship to be draining…

Every potentially quiet moment is interrupted by the crew’s shenanigans.

For starters: the cook and swordsman argue over every little thing, and most of their arguments escalate into fights. The navigator is actually a petty thief or a con-artist at best, and her double, the sniper, takes it upon himself to cause dangerous explosions at least once a day. The musician is an incredibly loud pervert, though the shipwright is somehow even louder and more dramatic. The archeologist is alright- she’s quiet, but Law finds her constant observation more eery than comforting. And the captain is still somehow convinced that his doctor could be used as a source of “emergency food.” Then there’s you; the one who brings whatever you’re working on at the time up to the deck so you can work in the sunlight, wears your weapons like they’re accessories, who only takes breaks from working to visit with your nakama, and always offers a charming smile when you catch Law staring… which happens multiple times in the course of the day.

Law is often irritated, rigid, and cold- so different from your own optimistic and nonchalant demeanor. At breakfast, he doesn’t talk much. Just eats his meal and thanks Sanji before excusing himself to go pour over anatomy books from the ship’s library. He does so for hours, not once joining the Strawhat Crew on deck or even taking time to explore the ship on his own. Nami frequents the library, as well, but she’s taken to drawing maps in her room or on deck since their guests arrival. When night begins to settle overhead, he may return to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, before going right back to his work.

At first, one might have been inclined to think Law didn’t like y/n at all. They can often see his gaze trained on them form from the corner of their eye, but chooses to ignore it sometimes and address it with a smile others. He almost never speaks to them if possible, only offering a nod or a mumbled response to whatever they says. But, he goes out of his way to sit by them at mealtimes and to find himself in the same narrow hallways as them, so that their arms brush. Those are the moments he obsesses over in his mind while he dozes off from his textbooks- the feel of their skin against his, and their kind acknowledgements- always void of harsh judgment.

It’s not just the lack of cruelty in essentially eveything they do, to Law; it’s the presence of love. Love for their nakama, their work, people and places they barely know, even him. He doesn’t recall ever having met someone so full of love that goes beyond superficial kindness- because they can be sarcastic and moody at times- besides perhaps Corazon.

And to y/n, there’s just something about Law that peaks their interests. Maybe it’s the feeling of having someone new around, or something even more indescribable and foreign to the pirate.

Zoro is asleep in the men’s cabin tonight, so y/n is keeping watch. It’s the usual arrangement for the 2 night owls of the crew- when Zoro has truly exhausted his body, he sleeps below deck with the others, and y/n has no trouble staying up through the night.

They turn on some quiet music on their speaker, a must have for any music lover. For a while, they just watch the sea and sky. Nights at sea are like a blackout. But, there is no need for light with strong eyesight and the even stronger moon and starlight.

So it’s no surprise that they see, just out of the corner of their peripheral vision, the top of a white and black speckled hat bobbing up and down as it moves toward the kitchen. Y/n’s eyes widen ever so slightly and their breath catches in their throat. The guest makes them feel silly, in a way, for not being able to discern their own feelings toward him, nor his toward them. They get so caught up in their thoughts about him that eventually they give up. Y/n shakes their head, mentally chastising themself for even being embarrassed or flustered in the first place. And with that confidence boost, they decide to go talk to him.

Next thing they know, y/n is standing before the kitchen door with no plan in mind for what they’re going to say to their crew’s ally. They open the door, but he doesn’t look up from the coffee brewing on the stove.

Y/n clears their throat to announce their presence, and Law whips his head around to see who it is. They offer a friendly smile and a little wave.

“Hi.” They speak softly, as if afraid to break the peace of the night.

A beat passes with no response from Law. Internally, he wishes they hadn’t walked in on him at this moment. The light from the overhead lamp catches in their eyes, and he feels entirely too seen. Not in the way he feels seen by someone like Robin, though, whose constant observation makes him feel uncomfortable; like one wrong move and he’ll have hell to pay for. No; y/n sees him and he’s scared that he might start spewing nonsense to avoid revealing his feelings. And suddenly his cheeks are on fire, and everything is quiet, and all he can focus on is the stars in their eyes that he tries so desperately to look away from.

They tilt their head, likely in concern, and he pulls himself out of his thoughts to mumble, “Hey.”

“Cant sleep?” y/n questions, their starry eyes (as described by Law) flickering over the coffee pot on the counter and back to him.

Law shrugs, then pulls his hat lower over his eyes to hopefully hide his warm face. “I wasn’t trying to sleep.”

“Hm…” they hum in response, “Want to keep watch with me then? If you aren’t busy.”

He thinks they’re just being friendly, like always. When they first met, Law was confused. It made no sense for someone so mild mannered to have a bounty of well over 500 million (now almost double that amount in the time that’s passed), though he didn’t doubt that looks could be deceiving. But even in the midst of battle, of which the two had been in several together, they refused to take kill shots or anything of the sort. So he was still unsure of how they had earned such an impressive reward for their capture. Still, they clearly had a high regard for life, and he had come to learn that they truly were just that kind hearted, not to mention witty and generous. And judging by the “Sora: Warrior of The Sea” sticker he’d noticed on small a journal they carried, which was one amongst many; a bit of a nerd, too. All of these things and more had made Law secretly impartial to them. Or at least, those were the reasons he has listed in his mind to make sense of these feelings.

So he nodded, much to their surprise, and mumbled again “Sure.”

The curve of their smile opens up into a grin, and y/n leaves while fully expecting Law to follow (whenever his coffee was ready.) Which, he does.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 16

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

best friend, baby by @ghosttotheparty*

“You— You make me feel so… good,” he finishes lamely, his head void of any words that could describe it, because how can Will describe the peace he finds in Nico’s presence, or the way he feels like he can finally breathe whenever Nico looks into his eyes? “You’re my favourite person,” he breathes. “My best friend.”

hooooooo boy the intimacy tag was NOT joking. i was gagged. yall tell me all the time how high u value will angst and like....this one DEVASTATED me for him??? like do yall ever think about how the first dialogue we hear from will in nico's perspective is self-loathing. yall ever think about how nico has always known him hating himself. well this author did. "i know you hate yourself but just because you hate yourself doesnt mean everyone else does too" hey what if we FOUGHT. also im going back in to all my FRFs to star my FAVE FAVE FAVE fics bc this is one of them LET ME TELL YOU.

2. just a dumb game by @ghosttotheparty

Nico di Angelo is not a party person. But Will Solace is going to be there. So.

they are SO FUCKING GAY and SO FUCKING IN LOVE and SO FUCKING STUPID. god i love them so fucking bad like they are inherently down bad obsessed with each other and this is how they should be. this is the way of the world.

3. even in the silver light by @ghosttotheparty

Nico is back. Will is still smitten.

first of all. latino and nb will. thank you. second of all. i am (obviously) obsessed with this author bc they KILLLLLL w burning intimacy. like you have no idea they write them like there is a twice burning fire only alive within them it's CRAZZZYYY. i also fckn LOVE that this is like. okay so the author says its plotless and it is kind of 45k of plotless, yes, but idk theres something to be said of love as a plot?? of learning and loving each other as a storyline.

4. splash by @ghosttotheparty

Annabeth is reading her favourite book. Someone walks directly into her.

yeah okay i think this is another one author week. sue me. this fic made me GRIN okay. it was so fucking cute and sweet and soft and autistic annabeth my beloved!! my love and light!! they are so in love in every universe fr and i fckn LOVE them dude i am OBSESSED. when this author writes people together it's as if you can hear them click.

5. isnt she lovely by @ghosttotheparty

Their eyes always meet in the halls. Her eyes are grey and shiny, and they make Percy think of stormy skies and marble sculptures. (She could be a marble sculpture, in the entrance of a museum, surrounded by scholars and artists and mesmerised passersby. Fucking beautiful in a way that only art ever is.) - - - Percy has had a crush on Annabeth since eighth grade. (He doesn’t know she likes him too.)

percy hitting the ground when annabeth kisses him 😭😭 HES SO REAL. i just recced this fic on instagram and i am here reccing it again bc it is EXCELLENT. i rly rly love to see pjotv percabeth in fic like i DO. theyre so fucking cute. and i LOVE how this author writes autistic annabeth!! it is so important to me!!! and this one is so CUTE like percy had such a huge crush on him.....like not just he liked her he had a CRUSH on her. god. i am melting.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!