#she's almost 70 ffs
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reginasbread · 1 year ago
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Rekha for Vogue Arabia, July-August 2023
Rekha has not taken on any roles since 2014 and hasn’t done an interview for almost two decades.
"Whether I make films or not, it never leaves me. I have my memories to relive what I love. And when the time is right, the right project will find me. My person is my own, but my cinematic persona is in the eyes of the beholder. Therefore, I choose where I want to be and where I don't want to be. I am so blessed to have earned the right to choose what I love. And to have the luxury to simply say no."
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yournightmary · 5 months ago
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Jackson!Ellie HCs
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content warning:: fem!reader, mentions of being drunk
AN:: I love fluff.
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who somehow always has an excuse to talk to you or for you to come over. You wanted to watch a specific movie? She has a DVD of it! You want to learn how to shoot a bow? She’s the first in line to be your teacher.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who loves when you laugh at her unfunny jokes. Gets them all from her stupid little ‘No Pun Intended’ books.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who always makes you share a horse with her whenever you go on patrols. Says something about being ‘economical’, yeah- whatever.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who smiles whenever she thinks about you. Just staring off to the distance with a goofy smile like a schoolgirl.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who takes care of you more than of herself. She’ll be worried about you seeing an infected while she’s being swarmed by 3 bloaters.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who has a talent for finding good quality vinyls. She has a whole collection of music from the 60s/70s. Loves ‘Stand By Me’, ‘(Don’t Fear) The Reaper’ and ‘Stayin’ Alive’ (because I said so).
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who makes you dance with her to said songs whenever she gets slightly drunk/high. Gets embarrassed by it once she’s sober.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who was so oblivious and stupid you had to make the first move or you’d be stuck in limbo forever.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who is really awkward when it comes to affection, but it’s cute? Like she’s blushing, looking away and all that stuff.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who told you she’s immune one time when she was shitfaced and didn’t remember it the next day. Then on patrol you were passing by a shopping mall and you joked about it and she thought you were a mind reader or something.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who keeps every single note you give her, maybe glues them into her journal. One time she found a red lipstick and begged asked you to kiss some of the pages.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who is always humming some songs to herself. Literally all the time, maybe even in her sleep.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who begged Maria to let you both move in together to a bigger house. She got tired of living by herself in an old garage😔
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who carves your initials in a heart into almost every tree she sees.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who will always prioritize your needs. If she finds any clothes while on patrol, they’re yours. You’re running out of food? She’ll give you every last crumb.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who sings you love songs ‘as a joke’ but she’s just afraid you’ll find it corny or won’t like it. Give her some words of affirmation, please🙏
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who doesn’t let you around Joel because you both team up and poke fun at her. (She secretly loves you both get along so well)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who doesn’t care about having a wedding or anything like that, I mean come on- it’s the apocalypse. But she’ll be more than happy to give you a ring.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie whose only purpose in life is to make you happy (since there won’t be a cure lol). She’ll go above and beyond, whatever it might be- just to make her girl’s life better.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who loves to go back to the old pages in her journal, the ones when she first met you and you started dating. Maybe even showed them to you on your anniversary.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who is like a kid and will make everything into a competition. She’ll race you and trip ‘on accident’ so you can win though. Btw, still calls herself the Brick Master, even if no one understands.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ Jackson!Ellie who at least once a week will remember you’re her girlfriend and starts giggling and kicking her feet.
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I need to read some ff myself.
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jtl-fics · 1 year ago
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Fluent Freshman - Part 10
PREVIOUS
He calls his grandma to thank her for everything. She promises him that if anything keeps him from her on Christmas she’ll just make her way over to South Carolina to see him. “Maybe I can give that boy who is bullying you a piece of my mind!” She says and he loves her for it even if the thought of Andrew vs. his 70 year old grandma gives him heart palpitations that have nothing to do with the five hour energy he just slammed when no one was looking.
(He had eaten turkey because Abby had asked if he didn’t like it when he had forgone the white meat being passed around. She looked SAD so he just piled the dark meat onto his plate (at least it has less tryptophan) trip and now he needs to counteract the turkey. He could not afford to be sleepy on the impending car ride.)
He lets her know that everyone likes her pie and Abby had been overjoyed when he informed her that his gran always attaches a recipe card to the bottom for any pie in transit / for public consumption. (This is a woman who has been asked enough that she has the confidence to assume).
He gets off the line and feels the 5 hour energy kick in when Captain Neil appears out of nowhere next to him and he thinks he strains something when he resists the flinch his rapidly beating heart almost forces him into. “What language was that?” He asks.
“Polish.”
“You really do know a lot of languages. Just like your friend said.”
DANGER. DANGER. DANGER.
“Not that many.” DEFLECT DEFLECT DEFLECT “When are we heading out to Columbia?” DAMMIT
Captain Neil blinks but smiles, “We’ll be heading out in a little bit. Abby’s packing us leftovers. Too bad there’s no pie left. Do you think we could make it at the house? Andrew really liked it.” Neil says.
Pie is a safe topic. Pie will not betray him. Also if Andrew wants pie then he can’t kill FF until FF makes it and, perhaps, the pie will buy him a few extra days of mercy from his executioner.
“We can try. The secret ingredient is a grandma’s love though.” He says because it’s on the recipe card. It’s the most important ingredient in the whole pie. It’s what can keep a pie warm across a country. “Gran always says whipped cream can be used as a substitute though.” he says.
Captain Neil blushes.
DAMMIT WHY? WHY BRING UP THE WHIPPED CREAM?
“Well, we’ll have to pick some up from the store.” Captain Neil manages.
FF blanks his face as best he can and nods but gets up his heart beating too fast to remain seated. “I’ll be outside.” He says because he needs to walk around in some circles while he can. The car ride to Columbia is going to be a nightmare in general but especially since he slammed the five hour energy.
Kevin is the reason for the hold-up and the reason that FF gets 80 more laps around the house. He’s reminding them that they can’t stop exercising just because it’s a break gesturing to himself and the 20 minutes of squats that he just did to burn off the pie and then to FF who passes a window for the 10th time since this conversation started “See FF is keeping up with his fitness. Be more like him.”
Wymack eventually drags Kevin out of the house and into his car since they’re spending the break together. He flashes FF a thumbs up as FF passes and FF (unaware as always but great at mimicking social cues) gives him a thumbs up back.
It’s then that they get into the car. FF (as is the way of the world) is sitting bitch with Aaron and Nicky on either side of him.
Captain Neil is up front and starts to play some music. Both Nicky and Aaron are conked out before they even reach the entrance to the interstate. They have also slumped onto FF with Aaron asleep on his shoulder and Nicky drooling into his hair.
“You can just shove them off.” Andrew says.
“It’s fine.” FF says reminiscing about the last time he’d had something like this.
20 minutes later it’s not fine because the five hour energy is definitely kicking in but it would be so rude to move and wake Nicky and Aaron up. Nicky is probably tired because he came to check on FF five different times the night before and kept dragging him away from whatever Saw movie he was taking notes on and Aaron ate a LOT of white meat so he’s filled to the brim with tryptophan.
But he thinks he’s about to vibrate out of his skin.
He closes his eyes to try and breathe through this when.
“Smith said that we can try and recreate his grandma’s pie. We’ll just have to do a grocery run tomorrow.” Captain Neil says in Russian.
“It was good pie.” Andrew returns in the same language.
“He said that the secret ingredient is grandmotherly love.”
“It was on the recipe card. It said for best results be sure to add throughout the baking process.”
“His grandma said whipped cream was a good replacement. That it goes great with the pie.”
Uh-oh
FF knows that tone.
FF has fled across campus, the bus, the dorm room, and (one one notable occasion) the locker room when he has heard that tone coming from Captain Neil.
“Pie isn’t the only thing it will enhance the flavor of.” Andrew says back and FF feels as the car speeds up.
FF wishes that Andrew would just hurry up and crazy murder him already. He’d take the reverse bear trap over this psychological torture. He wants to pull up his phone and read if the Geneva Conventions list this as a war crime.
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NEXT
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie
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gardenofshadcws · 1 year ago
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Dracula Daily Day 70
Lucy Westenra’s Diary
She’s feeling better again! And no more nightmares! That can only be good, right?
…. right?
Dr. Seward’s Diary
Jack certainly seems so
Oh hey Renfield whatcha doin with that knife
Renfield licking up the blood is such a visceral reminder that we are in a vampire story and not a medical mystery
Jack ffs go to bed
Telegram, Van Helsing, Antwerp, to Seward, Carfax
Even when he’s not here Van Helsing’s making sure shit gets done
Memorandum Left By Lucy Westenra
Awww we were so hopeful this time
Go away brat bat
Mama Westenra does she look all right
Poor thing’s desperate for someone to be there with her but Dracula’s scaring her mom almost as bad as he’s startling her. And we all know that’s not good.
Dude! Manners! I thought vampires couldn’t enter a room without being invited, not just turn into wolves and bash their way in
RIP Mama Westenra
But honestly who wouldn’t react in surprise and alarm if a wolf jumped into their bedroom window
Come on Drac, why drug the servants? They have blood too. Leave her alone.
Who’s going to watch over the babygirl now?
“If I should not survive this night” Oh nooo babyyyyy
Letter, Mina Harker to Lucy Westenra
It has been a while since our two favorite girls talked, hasn’t it?
Our good friend Jonathan is back in England!
Huh. I wish my employer would leave me a house
It seems like Jonathan is feeling better, working as a partner to his old boss
“How is your dear mother getting on?” Awkwaaaaard. I know she wrote the letter not knowing what just happened but still. Oof.
Jonathan’s having nightmares too poor baby
Goodbye my dearest Lucy :’(((
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3-lavender · 1 year ago
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The decision to stop being soft. The same decision I made at thirteen. Laying on the carpet in my bedroom for the tenth time that week, trying to find where I had gone wrong. I decided to stop being a little girl. I decided to stop hugging, talking, and smiling. I decided to stop being me. To some that decision may seem irrational. But to thirteen years old me, it felt like the only decision. So, I changed. I locked myself in a box. I didn’t treat the box with kindness. I threw it away like it was nothing, like I was nothing. For years I walked with the weight of the box. It chipped away at my mind, the sharp edges. I counted and counted; 540?, too much, 70?, is it worth it, 5?, . . . No. Never ending counting. Weighing. Decisions. Actions. Thoughts. Change. I wanted sharp edges. To match the ones the box created inside of me. The question constantly in my mind “is it worth it?”. I tried to answer that question. I tried to weigh the positives and Negatives. I tried to stop, but then it would inevitably start again, never the same, but always there. Overbearing. Overcome. I focused on school. A, B-, F. Essay, test, notes, discussion. Home, home, home. Cold, blue, dark edges. F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F FF F F F F F. “I miss my little girl”. Believe me, I miss her too. I don’t think you ever really knew her. Did you know she hated herself just like I do now? Did you know she always felt ugly and fat? Did you know she cried. She cried and cried and cried. Sometimes, she wish she had never been born. Now, that little girl is me and I am her. I cry. I cry and cry and cry and cry. I never feel good enough. I poke the parts of me I wish we’re gone. I kneel beside the toilet imagining it going, going, gone. I skip. I leave, excuses. Crying. Cold. I want to be okay. Planning. Planning. I have a plan. Not detailed because I never really was a detailed person. But I think it’s almost time.
“How are you”
“Fine”
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toastess-with-the-mostess · 2 years ago
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I posted 2,474 times in 2022
17 posts created (1%)
2,457 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@reynaruina
@duladear
@spvps
@shamedesigner
@sometimesiwanna-disappear
I tagged 799 of my posts in 2022
#voltron - 192 posts
#vforce11 - 184 posts
#voltron force - 180 posts
#buddyworks - 102 posts
#buddyart - 86 posts
#darrell pidge stoker - 84 posts
#toast talks - 84 posts
#vf pidge - 83 posts
#voltron force 2011 - 75 posts
#vld - 70 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#and like! people have already spoken about how ben and other characters have been uncomfy with the idea of not being able to stay human
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Chapter 2 is up! Once again cross posted into FF and AO3
This one is going to followed by a break I had the weekend to work with this but life isn’t pull punches right now, so I posted an interlude that goes right after the chapter too!
4 notes - Posted November 19, 2022
#4
I'm caving, here's some VF HCs but pidge centric because he's my babygirl
Pidge and Larmina do get along but Larmina acts cold to him because he never could tell her why he had to leave so ubruptly after The Incident, she saw it as him pulling away and acting like every other adult in their life
Speaking of, Larmina and Pidge used to be glued together almost like siblings or the favorite cousin in the family, her ninja skills came from him
Pidge can't eat marshmallows, all Baltons can't. It's likely the high fructose corn syrup in it that ends up punching them in the gut and sends them into a bad drug trip
He has heterochromia! His glasses hide it most of the time but his eyes are normally brown, they're green because his eyes have a reflective backing to it which is what we see
got like 4-5 cats, Salami (the oldest), Oscar (the middle child), Miwa (the alien one), and Kevin (the kitten), and also green lion who he will die for before giving up his pilot seat
this man is not straight, I refuse to believe it, he is still interested in women though. Currently have him as Panromantic Demisexual
speaking of romance: I pair him with all the pilots gotta be honest, mainly shipped with Lance, Hunk, the new royal advisor, and the head of the castle guards
he does pole workouts, helps with core body strength and grip, he tries to keep himself balanced with exercise he thinks is fun
had a falling out with the original mice, ended up building the robot ones himself but he underestimated his abilities and now they're sentient :/
he's quite literally the teams trump card, with more years of combat experience than the team and his specialty in incapacitating enemies, theres a time and place though so he never goes all out
I have more but this is already getting long, don't be surprised if I upload more but centric on the others
4 notes - Posted November 7, 2022
#3
Using this to help flesh out the character for my plot
VF Hunk HCs 💛✨
Pulling from the comics, he’s from a big family, literally, he’s the youngest out of about 5 siblings and also the smallest out of them all
Yes the team has met them and they all get along, his family loves Pidge the most since he’s the baby of the team
He’s got tons of tattoos, he has a sleeve on one arm and the other is just small ones
the sleeve was taken from this art so thank you @chibi-pix for letting me do so
the small ones are more Voltron themed, taking from the vld lion symbols and also just a lion tattoo because he deserves it
Also has many many piercings, he’s the reason why Larmina and Pidge got some because frankly they’re so rad
He’s got a burn scar on his eye to match yellow that also has a funky eye, he got it from protecting a kid from some flaming debris, he couldn’t block it all and it got on his face
This man is ALSO a genius because how the fuck does he land in an engineering position if he doesn’t know just as much as Pidge does
He acts like a meat head mainly because it was the mask that kept him safe while working for Wade, he has trouble taking it off when he’s back on Arus with the team
Usually the team eats what the kitchen staff make but sometimes Hunk steps in and makes a dinner for them instead, if he can grill he can cook normally
Cooking is also the way he gets the cadets to bond, he likes being the cool uncle but he also does want to teach them things
his carnivore tendencies means they cook a lot of meat based dishes
He helped give some personal touches to the uniforms, while the design itself is kept basic and uniform (aha) everyone wants their own touch of something
In his case he and pidge got short sleeves as they work in the hangar a lot, will probably add to this soon but in terms of uniforms that’s all I got
His anger issues didn’t fully go away to be honest, he learned to reign in it yes but it comes out when kids and mothers specifically are in danger
That’s because he really does care for kids and he remembers his own mother and if he doesn’t want his own to get hurt he won’t let anybody else’s get hurt either
He’s the only one with a normal ish family, he’s got two parents and siblings that are all alive and well
He does have some issues based on how his family treats each other but they mainly get along even if it isn’t entirely healthy
I swear I’m working on my rewrite, script writing is just hard 😫 I’m currently working in the first episode which is basically the same as the canon one with some changes to the Drule side of things so hopefully I’ll be able to post soon
6 notes - Posted November 17, 2022
#2
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In the spirit of my last reblog here's a shitty icon edit 💅
If used as an icon you can't tell how bad the lines are lol
8 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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See the full post
18 notes - Posted July 21, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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mxxnkirby · 2 years ago
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"the results just got verified, they'll be posted in 15-20 minutes"
she said almost 70 minutes ago. Please. At least tell me I gave a racist old guy a heart attack or smth ffs😭
competed today for my history competition and the top 2 go to state sjdkdkak I'm so scared 💀
the judges this year have felt so biased (our state winner last year got fourth in regionals?? Her competition is persuasive writing and I guess her take was too controversial?...) So pray for me, the essay topic was how the what caused resurgence of the KKK and how it has influenced America 😭😭😭 bro how do I write an essay about that without pissing off white baptists in Texas...
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nokaru · 2 years ago
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Frogs Do Fly and Gods Do Bleed
Hello beloveds, if you're bored why don't you read this snippet of completely random cringe hmm? I know you want to ;)
(random notes/wannabe ff? Just to let you know I'm not a fanfic writer, I only fancy myself a school literature connoisseur and with said stories being only in czech I will not even bother trying to understand English commas cheers)
✨Obi's headcanon backstory✨
Starring
Child 'why are we still here? Just to suffer' Obi
And LOT of OCs
Including
Child 'same bullshit, different day' Nokaru
Little brother 'I won't hesitate bitch' Haru
Sister 'I'm a nun cause not even the Gods can help me' Fiona
Big brother 'damage control' Tom
And some more! :D
....
Obi was different than other 8 year olds, he had to be. To survive. To be able to make it out there for so long on his own. He was strong, cunning and independent. He was better. But beside edgy internal monologs about life and death, he fitted into the same category as other 8 year olds. Dumb. That's what his mother said. Obi still sometimes thinks about her. He used to be sad about her.. "situation", but now he just laughs. She was the dumb one. At least that's what auntie Anna-Marie from the Bloody Mary brothel says. And Obi is convinced she's right.
....
Sister Fiona, the apathetic nun who for some reason was appointed as another one of the caretakers, said the great goddess Somni doesn't find the kids lives interesting enough to hate them. That so called cold hard truth caused Obi to release a snicker. Seeing Obi's reaction made his baby brother, still only 6 years old, snicker as well. Aniki lightly bonked both of their heads with a sigh. Nokaru stayed silent. Obi wonder if she believed the words of Sister Fiona.
....
Obi pondered about the great goddess some more.
Maybe she hated him like he hated green beans... Maybe she hated him the same way he hated his mother.. And maybe she hated Obi the same way his mother did.
....
"You can ignore 70% of the nihilistic bullshit Sister Fiona says.... With all due respect." Obi added the last part after short pause out of actual respect of Sister Fiona. He was also convinced she could hear everything so he tried to patch up his little slip up.
"Nihilistic?" Nokaru turned her head to the side in a questioning manner. How cute. Obi coughed.
"Ehm.. Well it's like... " Obi didn't have an answer for Nokaru's question because he himself didn't know what the word meant. He just recited the same phrase he heard Tsu-sensei say a while ago to his older brother.
Nokaru noticed Obi's skittishness and decided she will just ask Sister Fiona what it means later herself.
"Anyway!" with a little huff Nokaru swiftly pulled herself up from the fallen tree trunk she was sitting on, making sure not to slip on the tree moss, she sled closer to Obi who was sitting at the end of the trunk.
"I heard Mr. Zarr is returning today. Let's go ask Mrs. Rita when exactly he will be back."
Nokaru tried to sound more excited than she actually was.. It's not like she wasn't happy The Boss will be back, of course not! She was pumped and wanted to ask all about his adventures in Tanbarun. She just wanted to change the topic fast to make Obi feel less uncomfortable. And it worked. Obi pulled the biggest smile she had ever seen on him. Good. Obi's usual relaxed demeanor changed into ecstatic one. In an instant he jumped up, grabbed Nokaru's hand and with a boyish smirk sprinted towards the main house.
....
"GUYS THERE'S A FROG HERE!" yelled little Haru excitedly from the rocky side of the pond where the gang has been camping out for a while now.
"Where?!" star eyed Nokaru run up to Haru's crouched down figure in full speed, almost tripping over the bigger rocks in her path.
"Awww Haru where did it go?"
"Wha- huh no... It just flew away!" Haru gasped with whiny tone, looking all around. No frog to be found.
"It.. flew.. away?" raising an eyebrow Obi walked over to join the hunt for the lost frog.
The older kids, only including Tom Aniki and Hana, were trying to fish in peace still standing on the other side of the pond. Tom just shook his head.
"Maybe it did fly away.. " defeated sigh followed soon after Tom mumble the claim to himself. He just doesn't want anyone fighting again and burst Haru's bubble. That being said it was hard not to start playful fight with both Obi and Haru present.
"Frogs don't fly, stupid." scoffed Obi.
"Well this one just did!" whined Haru defensively.
"STOP LYING!"
"IT DID FLY AWAY!"
In the middle of this childish and petty bickering, stood Nokaru, like a stick figure you would draw with dull crayon.
"You guys..." the more reasonable child tried to laugh it off with an awkward giggle. Her attempts went unnoticed. The bickering continued.
"IT DID! IT DID FLY AWAY! CAUSE FROGS CAN DO ANYTHING AND YOU ARE JUST A MEANIE!" yelling on top of his little lungs Haru pumped his fists in almost cute threatening manner. Obi just laughed at his little brother.
"I'm a meanie? Really, that's all you got?"
"Dickhead."
"Oh, okay."
---------
What tf is this? Who knows Lmao I just wrote random things that came into my mind when I was bit tipsy, tried to explain some dynamics ig I still feel they are not really the way I want them to but oh well
Some more notes:
Goddess Somni is just reference to Atlas of Clouds and Moon Knight (protector of travelers of the night) basically. I wanted to give the underground tm some depth so I gave them this Lmao. They are evil but they have their own God they respect.
Actually I have no clue why I picked Sister Fiona to be there when she's kinda irrelevant in the overall OC story (I just like the trope of idgaf nuns)
Obi was adopted into his older brother's family and so was his little brother
his big bro's word is holy to Obi, with Haru... welp he's ready to throw hands
Nokaru took a passive role in these notes for some reason??? Idk
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il0veyoujk · 3 years ago
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New house, new roomies
Final Chap.
This is a tickle related series, so if you are not interested in that type of content, I’d suggest ya to find another ff to read, thank you :)
Mini series based on a request from an anon and one  of my ff Self-Esteem (I think you should better read it firstly so you can understand more what’s going on)
Summary: Nefeli (14) has just moved in with the boys and Jimin, but she is still not comfortable around them, so each one spends a day with her in order to get her to open up and to know each other more.
Warnings: None
Notes: None
This is a tickle related ff, if you are not interested in it, please keep scrolling
Lots of love Nef 💕
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“But I am your favorite, right?”
“I don’t know Yoongi! I love you all”
“Yeah but you must have a favorite one”
“Nahhh”
The boys and Nef were sitting in the living room, chilling on their phones and chitchatting. All the rest of the week was really fun for all of them and they had all enjoyed it really much.
However, unlucky her, Tae decided to say that he is her favorite and now they are all interrogating her and are trying to get her to admit who’s her favorite.
“It’s me right? You just don’t want to admit it” Jungkook threw his arm around Nefeli’s shoulder, pulling her closer to him.
“Nah, of course, it’s me. Remember how much fun we had when we were dancing Nef?” Hoseok smiled innocently at her, not to mention the tickle torture the girl had been into that day. Which of course made her roll her eyes playfully and stick her tongue out at him.
“Yeah, you wish. I am her favorite and we can all see that. Look who she is leaning on!” Taehyung pointed at her leaning more onto him as soon as Jungkook let her go.
“I bet it’s me. Everyone loves me! I am adorable after all” Jin did his famous flying kiss motion to Nefeli, only getting some giggles in response.
“Jin... You are almost 30... I am 14... You are not adorable for me...” Nefeli rolled her eyes again, grabbing her phone and opening TikTok to scroll through it.
The oldest lad put his hand on his heart and fell on the armchair next to Yoongi’s, gasping overdramatically “I have been betrayed by the youngest one...” while everyone else laughed at him and Yoongi threw a pillow at him. “Hey!”
“Stop being a drama queen!” Yoongi made himself comfortable on the other side of the couch, next to Jungkook as he leaned back.
“Guys, let the poor little one alone” Namjoon scolded the boys, not taking his eyes from the book he was reading in front of him.
"Thank you Namjoon” Nefeli smiled, still scrolling down her phone.
“We all know I am her favorite. I helped her overcome her fear of mathematics” he raised his vision and winked before he returned to his book, leaving a grinning Nefeli in front of him.
Oh, she remembers that lesson pretty well...
“Now now guys, why do you keep trying? Of course, it’s me! I know her ever since she was born, and we have been living together almost her whole life!” Jimin exclaimed, smirking widely as everyone groaned in frustration, along with Nefeli.
“Guys, please! I don’t have a favorite one! Can we please change the topic?” Nefeli groaned and shook her head, covering her ears as soon as a chorus of ‘no’s echoed the whole house.
“Come on girl! Tell us!” Tae poked her side, earning a squeal from her.
A squeal that brought a smirk to everyone’s face.
“Well... Y’know we have our ways to get ya to admit something...” Yoongi’s voice came out teasingly, as he pointed a single finger at Nefeli, making her flinch and giggle.
She knew what was coming and yet she chose to ignore it. She wasn’t gonna give them the satisfaction they wanted anytime soon with just a poke. Plus, as everyone knows, Nef is known for being stubborn... “I don’t have anything to admit!”
The boys shared a knowing look, while wide smirks were forming on their faces as a knot formed in Nefeli’s stomach. Those smirks would be the death of her one day...
“Are you sure...?” Jungkook started wiggling his fingers next to her, wiggling his eyebrows too in a mischievous way.
Nefeli felt a blush rising inside her and giggled being stuck in her throat as he watched Jungkook’s fingers coming closer to her and everyone’s smirks growing wider.
In a flash of light, the young girl had thrown away her phone and had jumped like a rabbit off the couch, running for her life away from him, while some giggles were escaping her.
“Get her!” Hoseok yelled, running behind the giggly girl, the rest of the boys following close behind.
Soon, the whole house was filled with loud snickering, and choruses of ‘come here’ or ‘you cannot escape’ were echoing in every room. Their footsteps were annoying everyone in their block of flats and their giggles were loud enough to brighten someone’s day.
Nef was running all around the house, dodging the boys’ hands and walking on pillows or jumping on couches to avoid them. As we can all understand she wasn’t running as fast as she could, due to the giggles which were running out of her mouth like a waterfall. Which of course only led to one thing. Almost getting caught way too many times. But almost.
However, when the girl was turning a corner, she understood that she was circled by all of them in her own room.
“Nowhere to go, little one?” Yoongi grinned widely, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. Yoongi was the only one who could look so mischievous even by only staring at someone and make them have butterflies. And oh he was giving Nef serious pretty intense ones...
Before she could even respond tho, two arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, carrying her to her bed. Nefeli squealed loudly out of surprise while she was squirming around in the air, trying to escape, but whoever’s grip was too strong for her.
“What’s happening? Why are you giggling so much Nef? We haven’t even touched you yet!” the boy whispered in her neck, making her giggle loudly and feel shivers down her spine. Namjoon.
The young lad laid her on her bed and pinned her arms above her head with no difficulty at all and sat on them fastly, smirking widely down at her. Jin and Jungkook spread Nef’s legs and put each of her feet on their laps, while Yoongi sat on her hips. Hoseok and Jimin sat next to each side of hers, and Taehyung in between her spread legs, all seven of them smirking from ear to ear mischievously.
“Uhuhuhum” Nefeli couldn’t hold in her giggles, while she was trying to pull her arms down, curling and uncurling her toes. She was feeling her feet already tingling and shivers were running down her spine as the light breeze which was coming from the slightly open window above her head was brushing her exposed spots “Ihihis it a bad tihihihime to choose one?”
The boys exchanged knowing looks, as their smirks grew wider “There is no comeback, princess. It’s gonna happen” Taehyung wiggled his fingers, making her blush and giggle louder.
“Yeah, too late for apologizes!” Jungkook ghosted his fingers above her sole, grinning in amusements as Nefeli’s giggles turned hysterical without even being touched. Jungkook’s fingers were sending a wave of tingles all over Nef’s torso, while she was giggling her heart off, grinning from ear to ear.
“Aw, he is barely touching you and you are already giggling! What happens if we really tickle you?” Hoseok poked her side, earning a loud squeal and more snickering from the young girl, knowing he had hit a pretty sensitive spot of hers.
“I guess it’s time to find out, don’t you think, angel?” Namjoon was tracing his fingers from her elbows to the middle of her armpits, while he was grinning wider than before. Never slower, never faster. Only with the needed speed to make her giggle and melt on the mattress, driving her crazy.
“P-Pleahahahase nahahahahao!” Nefeli giggled out, trying to shot her arms down, but she could obviously do nothing. She was only able to lay there and take it.
“Please not what?” Jin and Yoongi asked at the same time, wearing the same mischievous smirk.
“Tihihihickles!” she yelled in between her giggles, immediately regretting it as soon as 70 devilish fingers attacked her torso with merciless tickling.
“As you wish!” all boys cheered before they dived in and started tickling the poor girl with no mercy at all.
“BWAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHAO!” Nefeli shrieked in surprise and fell in loud belly laughter, kicking her legs and thrashing around as much as she could. However, having alive restrain is not the best thing that can happen to you when you are being tickled, right?
“Aw, you are so ticklish you cannot even stand 2 secs of tickling! Adoooorable!” Hoseok squealed in delight while his fingers kept squeezing her side. His thumb and index finger had made his hand look like he was a crab, and its feeling was setting Nef’s nerves on fire.
“I AHAHAHAHAM NAHAHAHAOT AHAHAHA!” the young girl cried in between her laughter, not really thinking about it before doing it. And of course, forgetting what had happened this whole week... Or that Jimin had been living with her almost his whole life and knew completely well the truth.
Which he obviously took advantage of to tease her.
“Really? Because I remember otherwise!” Jimin held on her arm before he scribbled in between her ribs.
Nefeli screamed in laughter as she was trying to roll away. Only for her to push herself more onto Hoseok who just kept squeezing her faster and faster. At that point wherever she would move her torso, it was useless. She would get it from every corner.
“Y’know I feel like you wore that crop top on purpose...” Yoongi raised her shirt high enough to only expose her tummy, sides, and ribs and not something else, before he started spidering all over her belly and another side.
Nef’s loud snickering was filling the whole room and probably the whole place from how much it tickled at this point “NAHAHAHAO I DIDN’T AHAHAHA! PLEAHAHAHASE NAHAHAHO AHAHAHA!” she cried in between her laughter, probably annoying all their neighbors.
“Now now, no reason to be so loud, Nef. We are not killing you!” said Tae who was currently wiggling his fingers behind her knees, a spot no one was supposed to know. How he found out about is still a mystery. But oh well. He is still making the poor girl scream in laughter and kicks her knees up and down nonstop.
Have we ever mentioned how bad teasing affects Nef? Because it really does! Every time someone is teasing her, it feels like tiny bugs are running up and down her sides and like her head will explode from how much she is blushing.
“I’LL GET Y’AHAHAHAHAHALL BAHAHAHACK AHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli was laughing so hard that it was doubtful she had ever laughed so hard before. It tickled so much that she thought she would lose her mind!
“You are in no position to make any threats, little one!” Jungkook, who was spidering her barefoot, suddenly pulled her toes back and started scribbling furiously, yet softly her poor, hypersensitive sole, while his bunny smirk was shown.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that with the position you’re in either...” Jin on the other hand was playing with her toes like piano, occasionally scratching their base “You remember how this song was going? Na-na-na-na-naaaa” Jin was playing with her toes, teasing her in a sing-song voice and trying to hit a higher octave by each ‘na’.
Nef let out an ear-piercing shriek while she was thrashing around furiously as soon as Jin touched her toes. She immediately felt like a wave of ticklish electricity had hit her body “NAHAHAHAHAO PLEAHAHAHAHASE I’M SAHAHAHAHAHAORRY AHAHAHAHA!”
All the boys let out cute chuckles and kept going with their assaults. Namjoon was wiggling his fingers on her armpits and occasionally blowing in her neck, making the young girl melt but at the same time explode in loud laughter. Hoseok and Jimin had each one took each side of her rib case and one side, poking and scribbling them fastly. Yoongi was shaking all his five fingertips in the middle of her tummy while his other hand was mercilessly squeezing her hypersensitive waist. On the other hand, Tae had chosen to lightly wiggle his fingers behind her knees, making Nef go crazy. Who knew soft tickles can be so bad for her? And for the big finish, Jungkook and Jin were torturing her poor, hypersensitive feet, sending her in fits of pure hysterics.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GAHAHAHAHAOD AHAHAHAHAHA! PLEAHAHAHAHASE AHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli’s loud screams were probably annoying everyone in the block of flats while the smirks were tattooed on the boys’ faces.
“Oh my god, those ribs look so tasty, lemme try them! Nomnomnom!” Jimin out of nowhere started nibbling her, thanks to Yoongi, exposed ribs. And Nef was immediately thrown in serious hysterics.
“Oh oh oh oh, lemme try them too!” Hoseok exclaimed and copied Jimin’s action, making the poor girl shriek in hysterical laughter.
“NONONOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PLEAHAHAHAHAHASE AHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHO AHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli was thrashing around so much that she almost set herself free at least three times. However, every time Namjoon would manage to pin her down once again.
“It’s so cute how you haven’t said stop this whole time!” Jin giggled along with her before he bent down and kiss all over her sole. Nefeli at this point was feeling like she was gonna lose her mind. It tickled so much!
“GAHAHAHAHAHAHA JIAHAHAHAHAHAN PLEAHAHAHAHASE NAHAHAHAHAO AHAHAHAHA! YOU AHAHAHAHARE MEAHAHAHAHAN AHAHAHAHA!” she cried in between her hysterics, curling her toes tightly and arching her back. What did she get in response? A loud chuckle from Jin and more yet faster kisses.
“Oh no that’s not mean. Y’know what’s mean? This!” Yoongi quickly put his hands under her waist, raising her more so that her tummy was fully exposed. Then out of nowhere, he dived in and kept blowing long, unstoppable raspberries on her tummy, occasionally shaking his head in it to make the feeling way worse.
“YOONGAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli was trying to shot her back down on the mattress again, but Yoongi’s hands were preventing her from. And as if the berries weren’t already enough, Yoongi was softly digging in her lower back, a truly sensitive spot of hers.
“Aw, coochie coochie coo, angel!” Taehyung giggled while he kept softly stroking behind her knees with his fingertips. This made every hair on her body straight while sending a truly ticklish shiver down Nef’s spine.
“I can do this all day!” Jungkook kept scribbling all over her sole and toes, not really showing mercy.
“PLEAHAHAHAHAHAHASE NAHAHAHAHAT THAHAHAHAT AHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli screamed, shaking her head side to side while Namjoon was blowing raspberries in her neck and scratching her bare armpits.
“Aw Neffie you are so ticklish!” Namjoon whispered in her neck, making tingles run all over her torso.
At this point, Nef’s body was feeling like it was on fire. Her stomach and lungs were burning while her mouth was aching. She was losing her mind slowly while she had fallen into silent laughter. Her whole face was red while she was shaking and her messy hair was even messier.
“Aw okay okay let’s give her a break” Jimin said, knowing the position Nefeli currently was in pretty well.
Immediately everyone pulled aside and let her breathe. Nef instantly curled up, panting while some leftover giggles were leaving her. Taehyung pulled her and cuddled her closely, rubbing her lower back to help her calm down.
“Are you alright, sweets?” Hoseok asked her sweetly, stroking her cheekbones. Nefeli nodded lightly and snuggled closer to Tae.
“So, who’s your favorite?” Jungkook was staring at her with big eyes, waiting for her answer. His cute eyes had gone wide while his lips had formed in an adorable, physical pout, waiting for an answer.
The young girl took a glance at the whole room and smiled widely “I love everyone equally and I mean that” she admitted, making everyone smile widely. Hoseok and Jin even blew her a kiss, making her giggle.
Every boy had made her feel special this week. They had made her feel like she was home. Taught her how to love herself. Taught her how to be herself and not to be ashamed of who she is. And she had made her feel like she was special for them.
Jimin would always have a special place in her heart. And maybe she loved him a little more than everyone else, everyone was special for her.
A comfortable silence filled the room, while everyone was comfortable on the bed, or on the floor, not doing anything at all.
“Sooo who’s ready for round 2?” Yoongi smirked widely, every boy copying his expression.
In a matter of a second Nefeli had speeded out of the room, with everyone hot on her heels, trying to avoid their fingers.
And lemme tell you their days from now on were filled with those moments. Funny and cute ones. Memorable moments and adorable experiences. Filled with affection and giggles. Both from the boys towards Nef and Nef towards the boys.
They were like a family.
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innovativestruggles · 4 years ago
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Extra thoughts on Daisuke x Suzue (Anime and Novel)
I was prompted to write this when a friend asked me several prodding questions on Daizue’s relationship and feminism several days ago. Obviously my friend knew where to hit the right nerve LOL
So I thought about it and I’d like to share my thoughts. I don’t know whether my DaiSuzu followers are still hanging around, but if you see this, then this is for you. This post is very opinionated of course so you may not agree with what I have to say. 
I took the initiative to go back and watch some of the FKBU episodes, and then top it off with the novel. As I mentioned in numerous older posts, the novel is the original and was written sometime in the 1970s. If you can read Japanese, I strongly recommend you grab a copy and read it for yourself. It goes into a lot more depth with regards to Daizue’s relationship and there is a lot more development between the two.
Novel and anime are different yet there are similarities. What I am going to write here is purely about DaiSuzu and because there are only minute differences in their interactions in both novel and anime, I will combine the two elements together. But before I do that, I want to talk a little about Suzue.
Suzue
I absolutely love Suzue’s character - in almost every single aspect. She is strong, clever, independent and defies all odds. Her personality and interests are definitely more pronounced in the anime in terms of strength and defying the odds. She does the hard yard - a mechanic, an engineer, a creator, a pilot, a spy, an intelligence operator - she is a one stop shop and she is not just a pretty face. Then we have her novel counterpart, who shares similar traits that concerns intelligence and independence. She does intelligence and spy work for Daisuke as well, and the only thing that was absent would be her ‘mechanics and gadget development role.’ Given that the book was written in the 70s by a misogynistic piece of shit, I am surprised the author gave Suzue that level of prominence. 
When I saw the promotional materials and then the second episode of FKBU, I was so excited! Finally, a strong female character who has all the ‘male dominated’ traits! I was looking forward to what the anime had to offer her, considering the creators were talking about giving Suzue an ‘important’ role in the anime.  And throughout the series, her character in that sense did not disappointment. She did a lot of work for Daisuke and she was the backbone of everything. She even had to rescue him at times. What an incredible woman.
In comparison, novel Suzue, although a prominent, intelligent character, still had some level of submissiveness to her that screamed ‘I need a man to save me and do things for me’ kind of way. Unsurprising of course being written by an old fashioned man in the 70s. So the anime in a sense was a breath of fresh air.
Then we see the lack of screen time. Although Suzue was just a supporting character, she was quite prominent in the novel. The anime went through all this trouble to create such an incredibly strong female character, but gave her such little screen time. Disappointment doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m just frustrated that it is always the bloody male characters that gets a lot of screen time. I don’t give two fucks about your need for a fanservice or to appease fujos, we need more female characters who are strong, clever, independent, does not need a man to save her, is not overly sexualised and gets plenty of screen time. If it’s not one, it’s another. Can’t they just bloody do it all together? Also, have three main characters, Daisuke, Suzue and Haru ffs.
Feminism & Anime
If you trawl through my blog, there are a lot of posts about women, feminism, misogyny, toxic fandoms and a lot of het ships. Although I do absolutely love my M/M and F/F ships, there is a reason for my interest in anime het ships. I am a social worker who specialises in working with victim/survivors of family/domestic violence and sexual assault (DVSA), and complex trauma. Considering the majority of perpetrators are men, and the majority of victim/survivors are women, it is important to emphasise the need for a healthy and respectful relationship. I enjoy bringing my feminist perspective to film and fiction because they are an extension of society. Film and fiction (including anime and manga) are based on societal perceptions, and characters are still, unfortunately, heavily gendered. 
The anime fandom consists of real people and if you look all over social media, people talk about the characters all the time and their thoughts on them. It comes from somewhere. So when I watch anime, and when I see a male and female character get together in a manner that is healthy and respectful, they get a standing ovation from me. In particular, is when a male character treats his female partner in a way that empowers her or if he abstains from using his male entitlement to demean her. Because in society, there is still a large proportion of men who continues to abuse women in every way possible. If fans are constantly viewing content (yes, even ‘cartoons’) where women are objectified and disrespected comparatively to men, that rigid stereotype is reinforced and ingrained. 
I just want to add a note here that the LGBTQIA+ community do experience DVSA as well and this post does not disregard or invalidate them in any way. The focus of this discussion however, pertains to men, who make up the majority of perpetrators and, women, who are the majority of victim/survivors.
Daisuke and Suzue
I answered an ask sometime ago about why I ship DaiSuzu and although that has not changed, I have given a lot more thought to the reasoning behind it. The one thing I dislike about Suzue is her obsession with Daisuke, both in the novel and anime. It does take away her cool, independent like character, and submit her to the idea that she is nothing without first appeasing a man (Daisuke in this case). I don’t want to put too much dislike into her character in the anime, because we never got to see what her history was like with Daisuke. In the novel, I do see elements as to why she can be a bit obsessive, and that was most likely to do with her being ‘adopted’ and given a second chance. It was her way of showing appreciation. Yet she does have romantic feelings for Daisuke, so in essence, her character was emphasised as a typical lovestruck woman 😒
Again, she was incredibly loyal and forgiving towards Daisuke in the anime, despite his shitty attitude towards her at times. You’re probably wondering, after all that I wrote about feminism, why I would still ship DaiSuzu? In the anime, that comes down to Daisuke’s trauma. It added an extra layer of complexity. Daisuke’s standoffish, cold behaviour towards Suzue was not out of a sense of male entitlement and disrespect towards Suzue being a woman, rather, it was a manifestation of his trauma. Of course, it does not excuse his behaviour, but this is the reason why I really enjoyed watching their relationship. There was a lot of mutual trust going on (which I wrote about), covert appreciation of Suzue’s skills and abilities and Daisuke’s own way of making amends with her. 
In the novel, however, Daisuke does not have a history of any traumatic experiences. His personality was a lot more animated and though he does exhibit some weird behaviour towards Suzue, he does not do it out of male privilege or misogyny. He was just dense (and an idiot).  
Regardless, DaiSuzu’s relationship isn’t just as simple as black and white. There are elements of feminism that intertwines the anime and what I love a lot about Daisuke was that he never put Suzue down, felt intimidated, or tried to make her feel inadequate for being more clever and more intelligent than him. He relied on her knowledge, her skills and her expertise to guide him through his missions, because not only did he trust her with his life, he believed in her skills. He quietly allowed her to do her job without questioning her abilities or intervening.
I won’t discuss how shit the anime was and how much they shat on Suzue’s character by making her Daisuke’s relative, but like I said, I was pretty impressed with the way they turned Suzue into a strong character, and Daisuke’s perception of Suzue as a woman.
And yes, Daisuke doesn’t deserve Queen Suzue. And if you were again to ask me about Daisuke’s true feelings for Suzue? I am pretty damn certain that he loves her to death - in both novel AND anime.
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betweentheracks · 4 years ago
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Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?
Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓
No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁
A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.
FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.
Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.
So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.
After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.
Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.
Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.
My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.
FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!
It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.
I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.
My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.
My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.
If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.
My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖
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narutogwriting · 3 years ago
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Thank you to everyone who helped make my first year with this blog so successful! My very first post has almost 600 notes! That's so insane. I love you all!
I posted 191 times in 2021
183 posts created (96%)
8 posts reblogged (4%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 0.0 posts.
I added 521 tags in 2021
#naruto - 70 posts
#naruto headcanon - 56 posts
#naruto imagines - 55 posts
#naruto imagine - 55 posts
#naruto headcanons - 55 posts
#naruto hc - 54 posts
#naruto x reader - 53 posts
#naruto fanfiction - 49 posts
#naruto oneshot - 39 posts
#naruto ff - 35 posts
Longest Tag: 82 characters
#the other day i read an article saying naruto is going to die and i cried lmfaoooo
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
If requests are open, then: Gaara has chosen a bride, but during their engagement she refuses to capitulate to Suna’s council and their desires to have her on their side instead of Gaara’s. So, in order to break trust/break them apart (the details are obvs your choice), a councilman or two sends a shinobi to sexually assault her.
Fortunately, Gaara discovers the man in time to save you.
With this prompt, could you write something for it? Hurt/confort, lemons (jfc tumblr just knock it off with the gag order already), dark/horror, your choice!
PRECIOUS
Pairing: Gaara x Reader
CW: Attempted sexual assault, light NSFW
Length:  4.6k+
A/N: I absolutely hate how this came out, but I hope it works for you and is what you were expecting!
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You know that feeling you have when you’re younger? You have the adults in your life. They always seem to know exactly what to say, what to do. And you never truly have to worry, because if you don’t have the answer, there’s always someone that does.
Right and wrong. It’s all so black and white, and you’re lucky because the adults in your life always make the upstanding choices.
At least, that’s what you think. 
And then you grow up. Little by little, you become older and wise enough to realize the more you think you know, the less you do.
And maybe it’s something big or something small when you first start to lose your faith in those in authority. But there’s always a moment when it clicks; the people in authority know no more than you do, they’re not morally honorable at all. They just have the power.
You’d been a ninja your whole life, but as you got older, you opted to step into a more political role for your village. You’d been around long enough to see how corrupt the ninja system was as a whole, and you had wanted to change it from the inside out.
You thought you’d already had your moment, multiple moments, even, that showed you just how amoral and deceitful the powers that be were.
You had no idea how bad they truly could get.
“So, I hope you understand what we’re asking. Your compliance is… let’s just say, in your best interest.”
Silence ensued. Sunagakure, like the other villages, had a system of checks and balances. Gaara was the Kazekage, leader of the village, but that didn’t mean he had this all consuming power. The Suna Council consisted of twelve members, all in place to make sure the Kazekage is doing what they should and that all decisions were made in the villages best interest.
The council and the Kazekage were supposed to be working together for the village, to make things, better, to help the people. The council was supposed to be supporting the Kazekage as the leader.
So, in a way, you almost couldn’t believe they would ask you this. Only almost. . The Sand Village had never had a reputation of being above reproach. Why, it was just a few years ago when they had partnered with the Sound Village to overthrow the Leaf Village, killing the Hokage in the process. Gaara had only been a child then, but the Suna Council that had agreed with the plot then was the same council that now demanded you betray your husband to be.
They wanted you in their ranks. The direction that Gaara was ready to lead Suna in wasn’t a direction the elders were ready for it to go.
It was new and completely different from anything they’d seen before. But Gaara was insistent that Suna was going to enter an era of peace and perseverance. They would be a village that would fight for the good of the world, not solely their own interests. Suna as a village would no longer be number one. People would be.
And so they expected you to play a secret agent for them. They would give you orders, and then, as Gaara’s wife to be, you would manipulate him into their desires, make him think they were his own. You would play him as if he were a puppet on your strings.
Maybe it was because you had been a diplomat before moving to the Sand for Gaara. They thought because you were a politician, that you would understand their requests and be bought off so easily. It was the very reason you’d taken the position; the way village politics worked needed to change.
The twelve council members stared at you steadily and expectantly. They expected your concurrence, couldn’t imagine that there would be any thought of going against their wishes. They’d gone so long getting exactly what they wanted.
All good things must come to an end. 
There were a couple ways you could have played this. Agreed and then told Gaara what they’d asked. That they were demanding for you to work Gaara behind the scenes and manipulate him to their will. You could have agreed, even. Accepted their offers of power and betrayed your betrothed.
You had endless options, but you would take none of them.
Gaara was the love of your life, going to be your husband, and you would present as a strong front. You would let there be no question of where your loyalty was.
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367 notes • Posted 2021-05-04 23:59:48 GMT
#4
Pet Names + Konoha Boys Headcanon
Naruto: every single term of affection he could come up with. Babe, baby, sweetie, honey. He would make up silly names for you and use them whenever you get upset at him because he knows you can’t help but smile after :)
Sasuke: he doesn’t really use pet names, definitely not when other people around. And you don’t mind too much because when he does use them, it feels extra special, and you know he’s saying it because he’s feeling so much love for you. Will call you “my love” and a simple “babe” in these moments
Kakashi: would use a range of pet names very casually, not necessarily in intimate moments, so it would take you off guard. At the market: “how about some strawberries, love?” Training: “that move was flawless, baby.” After tripping over yourself in public: “are you okay my clumsy girl?”
Kiba: *loves* using pet names, especially ones he knows make you flustered. Sweetheart, darling, baygirl, sweet thing, sweetcheeks. Uses them in affectionate and condescending ways because he’s a little shit
Shino: isn’t shy with the pet names necessarily, but a little uncomfortable with them. You suggest he calls you something cute like bug, but he doesn’t like to refer to his insects as bugs, so he definitely wouldn’t want to call you that. Calls you “my little insect” once in an attempt to please you, but you both realize they’re just not his thing.
Shikamaru: ugh he’s a little cocky shit i know it. My girl, my chick, woman, sweet cheeks, babe, baby, sweetheart. Everything delivered with a hint of patronizing. Shikamaru is the only guy allowed to be a bit misogynistic because it makes him hotter idc idc. He loves you though
Choji: honey, babe, dearest, Choji keeps it pretty simple but delivers the words with a world of affection. I can totally see him occasionally referring to you as “his queen” too
Asuma: Considering Asuma is practically half of Shikamaru’s personality at this point, he’d do a few similar names. Sweetheart, baby, woman. He’s not shy to call you sexy thing too even with others around
Lee: oh god Lee would practically drown you in pet names. Flower, princess, queen, love, my darling, love of my life. Nothing simple, all over the top for sure and delivered with earnest
Neji: ooo neji would be so awkward and uncomfortable with it too, though he does use them on rare occasions. Not really a pet name, but he has a habit of referring to you as “his one” which is actually pretty cute
Gai: of course it would be basically like Lee’s. The delivery would be different, like he was saying it in expectancy for you to swoon all over him. Princess, my love, darling, love of my life, sugar plum and more lame things like that but its cute cause he means it
Iruka: he’d be cute with them like sweetie, baby, honey, darling. Keeping it simple but with love
Genma: it would depend on his mood honestly sometimes he doesn’t use them at all then some days he’s saying them constantly with a tone of possessiveness “MY girl” “MY love” “MY baby” all his and then you bang
BONUS: SAND BOYS
Gaara: he’d be so soft and affectionate with them. “Little one” “darling” even “honey” every now and then
Kankuro: he’d definitely find the most cringe worthy pet name that makes you wince and use it constantly to tease you. He’d be ironically over the top saying shit like “sweety pie” “sugar plum” etc etc and then all of a sudden you’re not cringing at it anymore and actively upset when he doesn’t use them
489 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 16:01:12 GMT
#3
I’m Ready
Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader
CW: SLIGHT nsfw, cavity inducing fluff Length: 2.9k+
Summary: You and Naruto have been dating for a year now. After having to be seperated for so long, the war is finally over, and Naruto knows he wants to stay by your side forever
Could be considered a sequel to “Touch Starved” or stand on its own
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!
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Two days. The Fourth Great Ninja War had only lasted two days, but it felt like a lifetime. Maybe because of everything that happened leading up to the war. It was hard to picture it all now, the smaller battles, the trainings, even the way your friendships had been built up over the last few months. The war only lasted two days, but it was years in the making.
And now it was over. Lives were lost and the world was forever changed, but somehow good had triumphed the way it did in all the books and movies. 
Well, not somehow.
Winning the war was a team effort, every person in every village had done their part, even gave their lives, but you knew what you’d always known.
None of it would have been possible without Naruto.
Ever since you’d met him when you were both twelve years old, you knew there was something different, something special about Naruto Uzumaki. By the time you’d met, everyone else was starting to figure it out too, but you knew right away. You couldn’t have imagined just how special, how important, Naruto would be to the world, but you’d had no doubt in your mind right off the bat that Naruto was going to do great things.
When Naruto asked you to be his girlfriend when you were both sixteen, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. You couldn’t believe that Naruto wanted it to be you by his side as he took on the world. That spot next to him had always been occupied by you anyways. You wouldn’t have known how to step aside if he were to love someone else.
But it was you he loved. Things had moved so fast between the two of you. One day you were best friends and by that night, you were his girlfriend, falling asleep in his arms and kissing him goodnight. You’d already lived together at that point; it already felt like you and Naruto were spending your life together.
It wasn’t even a full week later that Naruto had let the “L” word slip. The two of you were at the training grounds, but you hadn’t been in the mood to train. You went with Naruto since he wanted to work on target practice, but you had decided to sit back in the shade, writing in your notebook as you leaned against a tree. 
“Did you see that!?” Naruto had called. You glanced up from your book to see that he’d hit the bullseye dead on, and he was grinning excitedly at you.
“Good job, Naruto. But you always hit the bullseye.” You gave a small laugh, glancing back down at your notebook. You missed the pout on Naruto’s face.
What Naruto had been asking you if you saw was the backflip he’d done as he threw the kunai--he had to challenge himself after all. But you were hardly paying attention to him, too caught up in your writing. Well that wasn’t going to stand.
A moment later, you felt wind past your hair as a thud came from the tree above you. You looked at the tree to see a kunai lodged in the trunk just over your head before looking back at Naruto to see a smug smirk.
“Naruto!” You snapped, closing your book. “Are you crazy!?”
He giggled like a child, rubbing the back of his head. “Like you said, I always hit my mark. I wasn’t gonna hit you!” But you were already on your feet, charging him and tackling him to the ground. Naruto’s back hit the floor with a thud, and you could hear the air escape him. Straddling him, you placed your hands on his chest and stared down at him.
“Did you really need my attention that badly?” You asked him curiously, tilting your head. Naruto was looking at you with those wide, beautiful blue eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. He stared at you so intensely, so earnestly, that it made you blush. “What?” You muttered, glancing away in embarrassment. 
Naruto sat up, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you close to him on his lap. Slowly, you turned your head back to look at him, captivated by all that was Naruto. You were feeling more shy than you ever had before, but Naruto looked and felt as sure as ever as he took you in. “I love you is all.” He grinned at you, leaving a big kiss on your cheek.
There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you were fully, completely, totally wrapped up in Naruto. You didn’t think you’d ever get free, and you knew for a fact that you never wanted to. 
It was later that night that Naruto took your virginity. It was slow and sweet and awkward and clumsy--everything a girl could hope for for her first time. Naruto kissed you everywhere his lips could touch, his eyes took in every inch of your body. You don’t think you’d ever been so nervous in your life.
But it was Naruto, and like everything else, he made you feel brave. You couldn’t help but wonder how he knew what to do so effortlessly. You had no idea how anxious the whole thing made Naruto because he was so attentive to your needs.
Naruto would later admit to you sheepishly that he’d done a lot of research to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He took it slow when his fingers pressed inside you for the first time, pumping and curling experimentally as he listened to your body to know when he was doing it right.
His thumb clumsily circled your clit as he slid inside you slowly, taking his time despite the urge to just sheathe himself completely. Your fingers gripped his shoulders as you rocked into him despite the pinching pain. And then, suddenly, it didn’t hurt anymore, and your stomach began to flutter. It didn’t last long, with Naruto spilling inside you sooner than he would have liked, but you felt satisfied, on cloud nine, nonetheless.
You couldn’t figure out if it was a blessing or a curse the way your and Naruto’s relationship progressed so quickly, because as soon as everything seemed perfect with the two of you, everything else began to change.
Naruto took the world by storm just like you always knew he would, and the two of you were separated more and more. You wanted to be with him at every point, but you were both ninjas with different roles. You did your best to keep focused, but you missed Naruto terribly when he was gone, and you always feared that he would forget about you. He was quickly gaining the respect of not just the village, but the whole world, just like he’d always wanted. Now that he had everyone else’s attention, would yours matter to him as much?
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511 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 00:44:43 GMT
#2
Touch Starved
Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader
CW: none
Length: 4k+
Inspired by this picture
Requests are Open!
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“Naruto?”
Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.
So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.
And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.
So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.
It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.
You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.
Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.
Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.
“Can I sleep in here with you?”
If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.
“Yeah, of course.”
Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.
And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.
But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.
It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.
When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.
But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.
And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.
You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.
But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.
The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.
 When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.
“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—” 
See the full post
532 notes • Posted 2021-03-23 04:48:46 GMT
#1
Jealousy + Konoha Boys
Naruto: usually like a 3/10, but it all depends on his mood. If you two haven’t gotten a lot of alone time lately and then he sees you talking to and having fun with other people, he’d definitely get jealous and feel a little secure. Otherwise, he almost never gets jealous
Sasuke: 0/10 i feel like he seems like he might be jealous because he can get kind of possessive, but if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it's your feelings towards him so no one feels like a threat
Kakashi: -10/10 he doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. It can come off lie he’s uninterested, but really, it comes from a sureness of himself. Kakashi’s a damaged man but he has more important baggage to deal with than some petty jealousy
Kiba: 8/10 acts cocky and confident, but it all stems from insecurities, and he feels one day you’re going to see he’s not as great as you think he is and then leave him for some other guy so he’s always on guard for that. He’ll definitely put on a show against the guy trying to show he’s tougher and better than him in every way, and it can be embarrassing for you
Shino: 6/10 he’s a very chill guy and doesn’t show too much of his emotions, but don’t worry he’s definitely feeling it. He won’t say anything to you about it though, he’ll just quietly brood to himself
Shikamaru: 7/10 the king of playing cool and nonchalant, he worries when you have more fun being with and talking to other people who are more outgoing. He’ll make jabs about it here and there, leaving you confused when he says he doesn’t wanna talk about it
Choji: 4/10 surprisingly not the jealous type. He has his insecurities, sure, but he never projects those insecurities onto you. He’s just so happy he got a girlfriend in the first place that he never makes a fuss
Asuma: 2/10 he’s lowkey arrogant and knows all he has to offer. No other person he sees you with makes him think he needs to worry, so he just doesn't
Rock Lee: 6/10 he’s weird like idk if i can call it jealousy honestly everythings just a competition for him. You know how he is. That person over there made you laugh for ten seconds? He’ll make you laugh for thirty. You complimented their new jutsu, Lee will make two new jutsus to impress you even more
Gai: 4/10 honestly Guys too busy with his other over the topness to make a big deal about you talking to other people or having fun with them. Ya know he’s all about that youth and shit and whats more youthful than having a great time with lots of other people? But when it comes to you having a good time with someone like Kakashi then well…
Iruka: 8/10 he’s a little insecure about what he has to offer you compared to the other people in the village. He’ll play it off super well though you won’t even realize he’s jealous. He’ll laugh and smile and act like everythings fine despite worrying deep down if you like someone else more than him
Genma: 10/10 he’s possessive af and not in a yandere way, like he’ll let you have your friends and stuff obviously but if he even *thinks* you’re flirting with someone or someone else if flirting with you, game over. You’re definitely gonna have to pay for that later tonight
BONUS: SAND BOYS
Gaara: 6/10 the jealousy concept confuses him because he’s not sure what it is. He rations it in his mind of course by realizing lots of people have lots of friends, but he gets a strange tug in his stomach when he sees you having fun with someone that’s not him. Stems from his childhood trauma ):
Kankuro: 8/10 and not quiet about it either. He’ll talk mad shit to people he thinks you’re getting along with a little too well and make jabs at you about it later like “where’s you little boyfriend/girlfriend/other spouse, huh?” just super immature about it all around
696 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 16:26:46 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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staysuki · 3 years ago
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i agree with jisung, why in the world did y/n use "it was a one night thing" as a form of excuse? wat da fuq 😭 felix and minho seems to be jealous 👀 jeongins character here is a little whole lot similar to BBL jeongin :"> i love it. wait wUT? i though ryujin and yuna are y/ns roommates,,,,,, 👉🤡👈 omaygad, is dis the debut of another queen bee?!?! "im sure everythings gonna be just fine" always serves as a catalyst. damn. more arcs 😍😍😍 lmao imagine twice appears. yuhs gurl, drop every single chapter of EHALOJ that you have left sitting <3
oh yeah, you have a hyunjin smau coming up xd omg im so excited huhu pero grabe, im alrdy thinking abt your upcoming works eh seungmins smau isnt even done yet 😭 its fine though hehe, it just means i have someting to look forward to for another year 😎
you re almost finish in squid game aaaaaa they disclosed no 212's name, it was miyeun i think. SAEBYEOK IS MY BAE UGH and #240 too, her name is jiyeong. honestly, i only cried once in the whole series and thats bc of those two :< i rly liked their friendship, damn. #240 you will be missed :"> IFY WITH 69 ! they were given the chance to escape and forget all abt that, but they chose to come back. they should ve been ready to die, honestly, no matter how scared they were. they should know that all that were happening were their decisions :< the old rich man kept repeating the 69 joke, aint even funny anymore 😀👍 your 31st reaction, SAME VIBES 😭😭😭 mr detective is aaaaaaaaa i rly love him uWu your reactions consists of 70% mr hwang LMAOO IFY THO. mr hwang out there stealing or hearts 😔💔
i feel like if i were in their place, i wouldve vomited the moment i saw food :"> like, they spent god knows how many days, seeing blood and dead bodies 24/7, hoW can they eat? 🤢🤮 WE STAN HWANGS ! i also think he ll have a cb in s2 or smth. i refuse to believe he s dead >:( and oml, you watched alice in borderland? oMg same 😎 its supposed to have the 2nd season released in december i think. im excited :>
https://ibb.co/x5KF3vL :"<
- bs
iT wAs a oNe niGht tHing— she says, not pertaining to sex.
felix and minho are her starter pokemons, ofc they’d be jelly 💔🤧
and yes, we live for sassy jeongin 💢♥️
NAUR 😭 the roommates were ryujin-yuna-yeji-lia and then chaeryeon-y/n-(now +lia)-and maybe the vice president eh? 😏😏😏
NO MORE QUEEN BEES PLS 🤧🤧🤧🤧
i’m excited for hyunjin’s smau too 😴 it’s gonna be straight up slowburn (angsty) e2l to-da-max.
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I FINISHED SQUID GAME NA 😤. i did not like that ending but go off ig, it makes sense or smth idk. ig they really wanted a season 2??? it did well so it most likely will. like, if you know Girl From Nowhere, that was such an old show that Netflix bought and suddenly it became so famous it got a second season. I’m sure this won’t be the last of squid game.
AND YES. MR. HWANG SUPREMACY 😭💔 i’ll watch season 2 just for him. I just KNOW that he’s not dead yet. No confirmed kill.
THE VIPs were so annoying istg 😭 i hated that whole bit ffs.
I feel like I wouldn’t be able to eat either, it just screams “final meal” ugh. If I were in that situation, I’d probably want a buffet or at least, my most favorite food in the world.
And yes!!! I love Alice in Borderland 😭💔 i believe in lee minho Kento Yamazaki supremacy. I’m so excited for the next games!!!
the meme pls 😭 that is outta pocket
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marcholasmoth · 3 years ago
Text
OSRR: 2542
i got a few things done today. not much, but i answered emails bc made a few phone calls and remembered i'm an idiot 70% of the time.
i also had a friend read me like an open book by my star chart and by doing a tarot reading for me. what i really got from it was that i need to look outside the box for solutions and resources, that i need to reclaim my faith in my own name and self, and that i should remember that one scene in captain marvel where carol is up in mar-vell's lab and the kree had gotten there and forced her into talking to the supreme intelligence. how she goes, "i've been fighting with one hand tied behind my back. what happens when i'm finally set free?" and she grabs the little device off her neck and snaps it and the power rushes back like a tsunami and she just. fwoom. yknow???
that's me. i need to remember that.
went out to painting but took my laptop again to work. went to dinner after with joel and hannah.
had a moment while i was out, just heading home. i wrote about it in the discord. observe:
i just wanna take a moment and wax poetic
some people feel like driving the back roads around your hometown at night, listening to old favorites. others feel like a cozy blanket on a cold day, a cup of cocoa or tea steaming in the mug in your hands. still others feel like the warm embrace of the springtime morning sun as you step out onto the dewy grass. a familiar book. your favorite stuffed animal. a worn but still comfortable chair. a long but quiet rumble of thunder.
gentle. familiar. nonthreatening.
and then you get those who feel like heavy metal music cranked to 30 as you barrel down the highway - not angry, just pumped. others feel like the impending storm on the horizon that makes the hair on your arms on end. still others are reminiscent of an adrenaline kick as you're being chased up the stairs. the flame of a bonfire. high-speed chases. dramatic action scenes from the movies.
dangerous. exciting. enthralling.
and then you will occasionally find a person who it is difficult to describe. are they a mix of both? are they neither? it's hard to determine.
so you think.
and it hits you at midnight on a lonely dark road as you listen to an almost-sad love song that's still relatively new to you but that you know by heart, as lightning lights up the sky and rain comes down not in sheets and not in buckets, but steady and heavy, the night and the storm settled thickly in the air, and suddenly-
it clicks.
this specific feeling. watching the sky in awe as bolts light up the clouds as they interact. hoping they'll follow you home. counting the seconds between bursts of light, finally seeing one singular burst as it sears through the muggy air, burning hot and brilliant in every way. and for an instant, you see everything - your path ahead, the sky above you, the mountains in the distance, the trees as they sway, almost dancing, with the wind.
you see and you feel and you breathe this moment, and you know.
this is them.
yknow, this was just me thinking about FF as i was driving home. how that specific feeling is how they seem to me - brave, brilliant, spectacular, worthy of awe and enormous respect. comforting. exciting. familiar. enthralling. good. much needed. comforting.
and it's nice.
i love to watch it, to be out in it, to enjoy it and smile and be present in it.
i'm still afraid to be in the proverbial outside. but i'll get there.
also? i got to tell joel about them. he's just like: "nice." and i'm like, "thanks love."
i missed being around him so much!! he got into the car and i sat for a moment and was able to relax for the first time in however many days. he just smells good. reminds me i'm safe.
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hesesols · 4 years ago
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Into the WILD
Day 16 of Ichiruki month 2020
Trapped inside fantasy MMORPG. Send help please?
Rating: T
FF/ao3
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The first thing that strikes him as odd is that the ground underneath him is dewy soft. Not that the carpet in his tiny student accommodation isn't soft. It just isn't as soft by comparison and doesn't smell so strongly of grass and urgh- he hates pollen with a vengeance.
It makes his nose itch like mad and –
Wait!
Last time he checked summer was already over and the northern hemisphere was entering early autumn.
.
Brown eyes open in alarm.
The sun is in his eyes as he sits up and he's lying in a sea of golden tulips and ruby red camellias, blades of grass and crushed flowers under his fingertips.
He isn't alone.
There are others next to him. Each one garbed in unusual medieval clothing- intimidating-looking armours with spikes and brightly-coloured capes, fur-trimmings and equally garish-looking armbands; brandishing weapons that range from claymores to wooden staffs. Everyone seems to be in more or less the same state of disbelief and wide-eyed amazement at their new surroundings.
Where are they?
And holy shit! Is that a real-life armoured bear?
.
"You look like you could use a hand there, Kurosaki."
"Ishida?"
Ishida or at least who he assumes to be Ishida- his annoying cousin of sorts and fellow guild member- stands in front of him, offering an outstretched hand. Ichigo recognizes the voice but those pointy ears, the gleaming ivory bow that stands at a grown man's height and strange cleric-like clothing- those are definitely new. He grabs hold of it and pulls himself up, wiping at the grass stains with a fierce scowl before turning to the strange elf-like creature.
"What are you wearing?
Uryuu snorts, "I could ask you the very same question, Kurosaki."
Ichigo glances at the midnight black armour he has on- light weight, extra resistance to magic and +25% endurance to all physical attacks- wait, where did that come from?- the reassuring weight of Zangetsu in his hands-
He blinks.
.
Name: Zangetsu. Also known as: Sword of the Moon, Cursed Fang. Status: Legendary. Raid item from the Sacking of the Gollum King's Palace at Hueco Mundo. The mythical black blade forged by the Grandmaster Yhwach over the Fires of Sokyouku for a full year and a half in preparation for the Conquest of the Soul King's Throne (see also Conquest of the Soul King's Throne). Grants the wielder—
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Reeling from the surprise, he falls flat on the grass.
How the hell did that just happen? How did all those words and background information just pop into his head unprompted? Almost like they're in a fantasy RPG gam—
"What's going on?"
Uryuu's smile is grim and sardonic, sliding the half-moon glasses up the bridge of his nose before he tells him, "Don't freak out but I think we're inside the game."
.
.
.
"Anything?"
Uryuu shakes his head.
Ichigo sighs. The lines of communication are down and no one has been able to log back out into the real world since they first entered.
"This doesn't make any sense at all!"
10,000 WILD players across the world and different servers who were online and active at precisely 12 midnight that day somehow found themselves transported into the game world and trapped there as their game character persona.
They're calling it the Lockdown.
No one has a clue as to why they were the only people affected, nor do they know how they came to. One minute they were logged in, playing the game as usual; the next thing they know they're lying flat on their asses in this strange new world strongly reminiscent of the game world of WILD, as their respective game characters.
He's one of the lucky ones he thinks. As a human Swords Master, there isn't much alteration to him besides the clothes and the muscle bulk added to his physique, unlike Chad who woke up as a bear armed to the teeth with a war axe and metal gauntlets. It wouldn't have been a pleasant wake up call for anyone, much less someone who wakes up trapped inside a fantasy MMORPG.
"What about Keigo then? Have you managed to locate him yet?"
Uryuu's eyebrow twitches. The pale blue glow from his hand falters for a fraction of a second when his attention shifts to shoot his guild leader a nasty glare.
Ichigo growls before mumbling out an apology to the raven-haired Cleric. He knows of course that Uryuu is trying his best and really in a strange new world that seems equal parts deadly and fascinating, the best is all they can do.
He's just … frustrated over the lack of answers and to make matters worse, one of their own still remains unaccounted for. Out of all the guild members who decided to switch servers during the Lockdown, it just had to be Keigo- scatterbrain extraordinaire. He wouldn't trust Keigo not to get sold on some crazy-ass get-rich-quick scheme in the real world, let alone in this virtual reality full of bloodthirsty monsters just waiting to make a nice dinner out of unsuspecting players.
The double doors to his studies are suddenly pushed apart, jolting him out of his thoughts. Orihime stumbles in barefooted and narrowly avoids tripping over the trail of her druidic dress robes in her excitement. Her cheeks are flushed and the pretty flowers in her flower crown bloom and blossom in magnificent shades of pinks and violets as she makes her announcement.
"Kurosaki-kun! I have his location!"
Ichigo jumps to his feet.
.
Finally!
.
It's the first piece of good news he's had since he found himself stranded here with the rest of his guild members.
"So where is the idiot then?"
Behind her, trails Tatsuki- their resident cynic and Shield Maiden who purses her lips and informs both him and Uryuu rather miserably, "You're not going to like this. He's in the Forest."
Ichigo resists the urge to face-palm as he sees Uryuu rubbing at his temple.
"Keigo must have been on his way back to HQ and decided to take the shorter route," Uryuu rationalizes things- as the team tactician he excels at it, "he couldn't possibly have known."
That's right. Keigo couldn't possibly have known that he would get sucked into the game and be left standing in place of his game character.
Tatsuki gives a derisive snort, "Doesn't make a difference. A level 25 Bard like him can't possibly survive the Forest of Hueco Mundo alone. He's going to get himself killed. The Forest is no man's land- level 70+ Hollows and player killers aren't warded out."
All eyes turn to their orange-haired team leader.
"What do you want us to do?"
Call it instincts but Ichigo has a nasty suspicion that player death in their new world would also mean certain death in the real world. The thought makes him nauseous and for obvious reasons, he isn't too keen on testing out the theory himself.
Keigo may be a pain-in-the-neck and downright insufferable at times but damn it! He's one of them. He's their pain-in-the-neck and they can't just leave him there.
In the real world, Ichigo Kurosaki may be just an ordinary university student bogged down by studies but here in WILD, he's a guild leader, it's his job to look after his guild members and he pledges to make sure that every single one of them makes it back home to the real world in one piece.
Ichigo heaves a loud weary sigh, grabbing the sleek black katana by his side.
"Let's go get our idiot back!"
.
.
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"I told you we should have gone left instead of right!"
Tatsuki can feel her skull throbbing. She should have just stayed behind with Chad and Orihime.
"Stop yelling at me! It's not my bloody fault that you're so fucking incompetent that you couldn't get a better map!"
"Oh so I'm the incompetent one?! Never mind I was the one who organized the rations! We would have starved to death days ago if I hadn't triple checked our provisions!"
Tatsuki grimaces as the feel of exhaustion creeps in as does the unbearable chaffing on her thighs. It wasn't just the lines of communications that were shut off with the Lockdown. It turns out the Portals- their main means of transport have also been disrupted and that means that the full distance between Karakura and the Forest had to be covered by good old-fashioned horse-riding.
They've been riding nonstop since they left Karakura, trading horses with NPCs in the farmlands nearby to push ahead at a gruelling pace and rescue Keigo as soon as possible. It is a noble cause but the trade-off for the weeks' long worth of hard-riding leaves the three riders surly and sullen. This virtual reality that they're trapped in certainly feels real enough, right down to hunger pangs and sore muscles.
Chaffed thighs, bland food, little sleep and the heat (the sheer humidity was making her hair frizz) made for horrible traveling condition and it seems that both Ichigo and Uryuu are about to hit their respective boiling points.
She rolls her eyes, tugging at her horse's rein to halt.
"Both of you need to shut up before –"
A sudden rustling in the bushes nearby draws their collective attention and sure enough from the depth of the overgrown bushes, a Hollow emerges. This one seems more reptilian in features, flickering pink tongue and all. Something jumps at the back of her mind but Tatsuki ignores it.
The Guide is nothing more than a useless collection of WILD lore and trivia.
She doesn't need a lecture on Hollow classes and their special attacks to know that the only good Hollow is a dead one.
With a loud battle war cry, she unsheathes her blade and leads the charge, throwing herself against the beast.
.
.
Ichigo leaps through the dense foliage with Zangetsu drawn and bloodied in his hand. Despite Tatsuki's misgivings about his foolhardy plans and recklessness, the woman is just as bad with her own brand of battle lust, leading the charge like a crazy berserker.
All hell literally broke loose the second they stormed through the clearing. The sheer number of the Hollow horde overwhelmed them and forced them to break formation and the three of them took off in different directions in a bid to divide the remaining Hollows' attention.
He ducks behind a tree to catch his breath. Having lost sight of both Uryuu and Tatsuki during their retreat, he is in a sour mood and more than a little embarrassed that a level 98 Swordsmaster like him is being forced back by a horde of weakling Hollows in level 50s.
"Psst. Ichigo."
Ichigo grips Zangetsu tightly, eyes nervously darting at his surroundings. He could have sworn that he heard Keigo's voice. Well it's either that or he's officially losing his mind.
"Over here."
A head pops out from the bushes next to him and Ichigo reacts accordingly- nearly slicing the newcomer's head clean off his shoulder and Keigo almost becomes a casualty of friendly fire before Ichigo sees through the heavy layer of disguise and stops the blade mid-swing.
"Keigo?"
The bard is barely recognizable with his slashed and dirtied tunic, patches of dirt and dried leaves covering his face.
"The fuck you doing- sneaking up on me like that! I could have killed you!"
Keigo couldn't have cared less. With a loud wail and snot running down his face, he throws himself at his saviour and professes his undying gratitude in between hiccups and tears.
"ICHIGO! I knew you would come for me! I never doubted for a second!"
"Get off me! You stink!"
The happy reunion doesn't last as the roar of a Hollow and heavy footsteps of a lumbering giant still their movements. Ichigo pushes Keigo away from him and readies his blade, but even his quick reflexes are no match for the suddenness of the attack.
"ICHIGO!"
The Hollow's swipe knocks the air right out of him and sends him flying. The tree trunk of a young sapling snaps in half as his back connects painfully with it. The pain disorients him and he is enough of a doctor's son to recognize the signs of concussion. Also, he thinks he might have cracked a rib (or two) as fresh blood- metallic in taste gurgles past his throat.
His vision clears in time for him to see the Hollow- a Dragon class one with beady yellow, thick, iridescent scales covering its front and gigantic wings sprouted at his back, rearing up for another charge.
This time at Keigo, who is down on his knees- eyes wide with fear as he scrambles to get away from the advancing Hollow.
There's no time to think. Ichigo pushes everything he has- the very last spurt of HP and MP within him towards Keigo, taking his place before the monster with gapping mouth, awaiting certain death to come.
.
.
"Out of the way!"
His eyes snap open just in time to see a small lithe figure, sunlight reflecting off the bone white armour- so bright that he squints, leaping through air and landing gracefully on the Hollow's back. A glint of light flashes yet again and before his very eyes, one of the Hollow's tattered wings is cut off, an arc of blood spurts high into the air and the Hollow's roar of anguish follows.
"Are you deaf or stupid? Get out of the way!"
Ichigo doesn't hesitate. With Keigo tucked under his arm, he pushes past the pain and sprints for the clearing.
With them gone, the mysterious stranger makes quick work of the beast, easily dismantling its other wing before diving for the kill; sinking the white blade somewhere between the soft scruff, flabs of excess skin free from the scaly armour.
Ichigo watches in silence as the dying monster screeches in pain, a swan's song in roars of fury before it topples over with dead eyes, a fine cloud of dust from where its body fell.
With the urgency of the situation gone, he focuses on the newcomer. Sheathing Zangetsu as it becomes apparent from the markings and sigil on the stranger's shield and helmet that he is a Paladin, one dedicated to the path of the light. They're in safe hands- for now at least.
"Where did you come from?"
The Paladin regards him oddly.
"What do you mean?"
.
"Princess!"
Half a dozen of swords are suddenly drawn and held under their throats by what seems to be a band of armed knights. Their armours gleam with the same bone-white shine and the leader of the men- a tall redhead with inked markings across his forehead approaches them with a fierce scowl and the intent to kill.
Next to him, Keigo yelps.
"The fuck!" Ichigo curses. His chest hurts, he's barely standing on his feet and now this?
Can this day get any worse?
.
"Watch your mouth, you punk!" The redhead growls threateningly, "You're in the presence of the Princess."
Amber eyes narrow. Did they think he's stupid? There's no one vaguely even female in their company unless—
The Paladin removes his helmet and a cascade of black hair- dark as the night pours forth. Apple cheeks, soft petal lips and elfin features curtailed somewhat by the iciness of her stare and her unsmiling face.
Their eyes meet.
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Oh!
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The short stature suddenly makes so much sense. Ichigo gulps.
"They're Heroes, Renji."
Renji scowls and gives them a dirty look.
Ichigo's eyebrows knot in confusion. "Hang on- what do you mean by Heroes and how are you a princess? Royalty isn't a job class and Paladins don't call themselves Princesses. I don't care what level you are, that's not allowed by the game admins."
The smile on the woman's face- Ichigo doesn't know what to make of it, but he thinks he's about to be made into a fool of epic proportions, especially when she pushes past her armed guards and tilts his face up by the chin with the tip of her white blade.
Smirking with dark violet eyes gleaming, she tells him, "That's because I'm not a Hero. Look closer."
Sure enough- when Ichigo focuses his gaze at her, her presence is shrouded in golden aura. The Guide pings- very belatedly and most unhelpfully, he might add.
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Name: HRH Princess Rukia of the noble house of the Kuchiki, heir apparent to the throne of Seireitei. Status: NPC
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He bites his tongue.
"B-But- but NPCs aren't sentient," Keigo blurts out.
Ichigo turns just in time to see him give out a pained yelp, being pummelled by the angry redhead, "Oh I'll show you how non-sentient my fists are!"
He winces. That looks like it would hurt… a lot. But Keigo's an idiot with thick skin, he'll live.
Rukia- her name rolls off his tongue easily. He refuses to even entertain the idea of addressing her by her royal title. For starters, a princess isn't supposed to be a Paladin, or know how to fight or use a sword, or look this good while having him at her mercy.
He gulps when violet eyes narrow at him.
"And you? Do you think that NPCs are non-sentient beings too?"
Ichigo is a fast learner and gives a quick shake of his head.
"Good-" her lips curve into a smile, hair dipping low to tease at the contours of his face as she whispers into his ear- "Because this NPC just saved your life. I'll show you just how deadly I am with my sword before you dismiss me as just another background token NPC."
The sword tip leaves his neck.
"Now, hold still."
That's all the warning he gets before a green glow is emitted from her hands- smelling faintly of mint and something fresh he can't quite name. He shuts his eyes, letting the healing magic wash over him, knitting most of his superficial cuts and wounds back into place.
When the light fades, his chest still hurts but at the very least he feels a little less light-headed and breathes a little easier despite the pain.
He wants to thank her- both for her healing and her timely rescue from the Hollow but she refuses to meet his eyes.
"Renji," she barks at her captain of guards who immediately stands to attention.
"Take them with us. He needs a proper healer. I can't set his broken ribs."
"It's Ichigo!" he calls out, interrupting their conversation and earning himself a hard glare from Renji but Rukia's gaze is almost thoughtful.
"Can you still ride, Ichigo?"
He nods.
A horse is brought to him under Rukia's instructions and as soon as he is properly mounted with Keigo seated behind him, the woman sounds the horn, black hair unbound and flailing in the wind as she leads the company into a gallop.
"To Seireitei!"
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FF/ao3
Review, like, comment or reblog to send some love my way pretties~~~
I have a thing for fantasy AUs. Can’t you tell? Click on link for rec list of some off-main Isekai/Game animes. I have a special place in my heart for them.
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pain-somnia · 5 years ago
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All Our Yesterdays [ch.1]
Fandom: That ‘70s Show Pairing(s): Jackie/Hyde, Buddy/Fez, Donna/Eric Rating: M Disclaimer: This story will utilize characters and situations that are the copyright of The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC . tomaday is in no way associated with the creator or producers of That '70s Show and no copyright infringement is intended. Obviously this is a fanfic meant solely for the entertainment of the fanfic author and (hopefully) it’s readers. Summary: After the events of "Street Fighting Man", Jackie and Hyde wish more than anything that things had happened differently.The next morning, they wake up in the past, on the morning of Vanstock where Jackie promptly makes one dream come true. They are not together—but, soon enough, one change snowballs into another... Day’s Notes: the notes for this fic are too large for for a tumblr post. they can be found in the links for FanFic and AO3. I hope you enjoy :) FF | AO3
chapter one: a sharp left in a different direction
Something was off. Completely and totally off.
Usually after a night of crying Jackie woke up with a headache. She couldn’t complain that she woke up nice and breezy, body relaxed as if nothing had ever happened. As if she didn’t cry more tears over a boy that called their future “crap.”
The sooner the pain hurt less, the easier everything would be. The easier it would be to compartmentalize her feelings for Steven Hyde and put them in a box inside of herself to be hidden just like her “Steven Box” was hidden in her closet.
Stretching her arms up over her head, Jackie froze and stared at her bare arm. Last night she had put on her favorite comfy flannel pajamas, the perfect set for when she wanted to feel warm and safe. Certain outfits were just as practical as they were cute.
But she hadn’t woken up wearing her cute flannel pajamas that were perfect for winter nights.
Why am I in my nightgown? Jackie sat up and examined her torso. Wait! Where are my—?
Jackie screamed in frustration as she clutched at her breasts—or the lack of them. She was small with slight curves, but they were perfect! Perfectly shaped and round not these small barely formed lumps she hadn’t had since she was fifteen.
For the second time since she woke up she froze. Taking a deep breath she turned to slide out of bed and put on her fuzzy slippers. She stared at her feet, eyeing the old slippers she used when she was a sophomore before they had to be replaced.
“What the hell is going on?” Jackie huffed as she examined her nightstand. Why would she have a photograph of Michael Kelso by her bed? Just last night she had gone to bed with a couple shot of her and Steven face down as it had been since she had broken up with him weeks prior.
She clutched at her hair, tightening her fingers around the curly locks. Her chest rose and fell rapidly with her breaths but it didn’t feel like she was taking in any oxygen. The pull on her roots hurt too much for her to still be sleeping. Squeezing her eyes shut, she mouthed a prayer to herself. She would open her eyes and everything would be back in its rightful place. It just had to be so.
Opening her eyes to the sight of her old purple suitcase with its matching traveling makeup case sitting by her bedroom door, Jackie screamed again.
She hadn’t seen that case since her sophomore year. The luggage set she used now was decidedly more adult—a lovely shade of carmine that was just right for her eighteen year old self.
I swear to God if my wardrobe isn’t up to date, heads are going to roll.
Jackie stomped to her closet and pushed through all of the cute clothes hanging in the proper color and seasonal order it was supposed to be in. The only problem was that most of her clothes, while super cute, were out of season for 1979. Most of them were trendy back in 1976 when she had first bought them.
Wrapping her arms around herself, Jackie clutched her elbows and slid down her closet door. She didn’t even want to check the rest of her room. She didn’t need to look at her records to find out that the ones given to her by Steven were gone. She was sure if she dug through her closet she wouldn’t find a shoe box decorated and dedicated to hiding all of his notes and the ticket stubs from their dates and other keepsakes.
Lightly knocking her head back against her closet door repeatedly, Jackie let out an expletive worthy of Red Forman.
What was she going to do?
. .
The first person Jackie wanted to see was Steven. It angered her a little that no matter what he was the one her body, her mind, her soul would seek out. Just yesterday she had been crying her eyes out behind a pillar in public over him and yet now she was ready to run right to him.
Fate had it that the first person she did end up seeing was Fez of all people. As good of a friend as he was, she wasn’t as close to him as she was to Steven or Donna. He wouldn’t have been her first choice for comfort in a situation like this. Maybe if her hot rollers weren’t working properly, but not for finding out that she had slipped into some sort of crazy time rift and was now back in her fifteen year old body.
Great. And now she was sounding like dorky Eric, letting herself think about stuff like time travel.
Fez had come to walk with her to the Forman residence and to tote her luggage. Luckily for her, Fez wasn’t observant enough to recognize that her brain fog had anything to do with the fact that she wasn’t the Jackie he knew.
As if he would even know a thing about time travel or recognize it in a person.
He had fumbled through his explanation for why he was at her door, reminding her that she had called him the night before to help carry her stuff because she couldn’t have Michael picking her up or it would ruin her surprise.
Ugh. Jackie wrinkled her nose in disgust. Why couldn’t I have been sent to a time before I ever let Michael sleep with me?
Vanstock. Her first experience attending wouldn’t have been so awful had it not turned out that whorey Laurie had been sleeping with her first boyfriend while she had been dating him. It had tainted the memory of her good time.
Jackie had thought that the two of them could be really good friends considering they liked all of the same things. It was almost like having the missing half of what she wished Donna was like. All of the girly attributes that Donna just didn’t understand why they were so important.
The gang had all gone again the previous year in her original timeline and that was much better. But then again, she had spent the weekend with Steven and they had snuggled in his double sleeping bag. She had almost forgotten that they were sleeping on the ground.
Almost.
And with the reminder of Steven and their time together came the deep ache in her chest that was always present since she had broken up with him after the LOPP’s Christmas party. God, she missed him—missed them.
That was the one positive of the time travel. Yes it hurt, but her feelings for Steven were still there with her and her thoughts were her own despite being back in her underdeveloped fifteen year old body.
She wasn’t going to get over that. Applying her makeup on that morning had been frustrating each time she had to look at her rounder cheeks, still full of baby fat.
It’s a good thing I’m super cute no matter how old. Jackie turned her nose up at her own wandering thoughts. It was hard to focus on what was important when she couldn’t find the source of her problem.
At the moment all she could do was compartmentalize everything and create some order by what was a priority and by what she could actually fix within her own power.
Just because she was her fifteen year old self, it didn’t mean she had to live her fifteen year old self’s life. She was Jackie Burkhart and she got what she wanted when she wanted. And what she wanted was to not be that girl she was when she was sixteen.
It was a few weeks too soon but there was one matter she could take into her own hands right that moment. She just wished she had made her decision before Fez had carried her stuff all the way to the Formans’ house. Now she was going to be stuck taking it all back herself.
Going to Vanstock had seemed like a good idea when she had been faced with choosing between being with her friends or alone with her thoughts in an empty house. The housekeeper had been given the weekend off when her fifteen year old self had made the decision to surprise Michael with her attendance on the group’s road trip and she wasn’t in the right state of mind to be by herself.
“Jackie!” Donna was the first person to greet her when she walked up the Forman’s driveway. Her hair was totally flat and that god awful red but her cheeks still bloomed like she had a sunburn when she was flustered.
Jackie had to resist wrapping her arms around her best friend. She wanted nothing more than a hug and for someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay but this wasn’t the moment, especially when she knew what was making Donna so nervous.
She barely registered the mentions of mud and Canadians. Jackie’s gaze drifted from Donna to her future ex-boyfriend who stood in the back in his worn out denim jacket. She had to remind herself that this was Hyde not Steven. That while he was complicit in letting her heart get broken, this wasn’t the man that owed her any loyalty. It was just the boy that got his kicks where he could and didn’t recognize that what he was doing was terrible.
This was also the boy that would get his heart broken again in a few months and Jackie bit her lower lip to keep from shouting about everything she knew. This Steven Hyde wasn’t hers to protect like when he first met his real father.
And if she shared those secrets there were worse things that could happen to her than waking up almost a full bra cup size and a half smaller.
“Where’s Michael?” Jackie asked before anyone else could fumble some sort of weak reason as to why she shouldn’t go with them to Vanstock. Any moment now Steven was going to try to convince her that it was a fantastic idea regardless of the fact that Michael was bringing along the girl he was having an affair with.
“Jackie.” Steven stared her down, expression more solemn than she recalled him looking at sixteen. Last time when they stood in this driveway, he had been gleeful, downright giddy. “I need to talk to you about something.”
She wasn’t ready for this, whatever this was. His hair was longer and blonder, he wasn’t as muscular, but his voice was still the same deep timbre she loved and even though it should have been easy to separate this Steven from her Steven, she couldn’t do it. Jackie was convinced one look, one direct look, into her eyes and he would know everything.
Steven Hyde of 1976 would know she loved him.
“Can it wait?” Jackie’s gaze shifted anywhere but his face. “I really need to talk to Michael before you guys go.”
“Wait,” Eric looked back and forth between his best friend and her, “you’re not coming with us then? And why do you need to talk to Jackie?”
Jackie really didn’t need this right now. Eric Forman could hate her some other time but he wasn’t going to be wasting her time with his questions. “Makes no sense why I would be going.” Jackie crossed her arms across her chest protectively. “Doubt he’d let me come along after I dump him.”
“What?” Came everyone’s shocked response. . . Hyde leaned his head back and closed his eyes, propping his feet on the spool table. They should have been on the road over an hour ago. He should have been roaming the grounds and meeting up with his friends from Kenosha, dropping acid or smoking a joint in between the different musical acts performing.
The last time he had been there in 1976, that was exactly what he had done as well as hooking up with any willing hot chick. The desire for acid or a girl had significantly dropped since then, both for different reasons.
Opening his eyes, Hyde watched the smoke float in lazy circles up towards the ceiling. The swirls had his focus more than the conversation currently being had in the basement.
“You were just frenching Laurie not even ten minutes before she broke up with you, dillhole!” Donna huffed, passing the joint on to Forman.
That comment had Hyde peering at Donna from the corner of his eye. When she had discovered that Kelso had been cheating on Jackie back in his own 1976, she hadn’t warned Jackie at all. She still hadn’t warned her this time around, only weakly attempted to get her to change her mind about going on the trip. Not that Jackie needed to change her mind. She had shown up and broke up with Kelso in the simplest most blunt way possible.
“I don’t love you and you’re a cheating bastard. Have fun at Vanstock.” And then she just skipped away.
 The divergence in the timeline was going to be interesting.
Waking up had been a trip. Hyde had woken up thinking he had been tripping. It had been so long since he kept his hair long enough to be as blonde as it was and he felt lighter than usual━his limbs no longer carrying the extra weight of the muscles he had developed over the past couple of years.
Time travel. It was a subject that only Forman out of everyone he could possibly have a serious discussion with. Kelso at this stage wouldn’t even try to jump into the conversation unless it was about a time machine that could take him back in time before Jackie broke up with him.
“Shouldn’t we be glad that we’re finally free?” Forman shrugged his shoulders passing him the joint. Hyde didn’t honor him with a response, only taking a long drag before skipping right over Kelso to Fez.
Kelso didn’t even notice that he had been skipped in the circle. His head hung low and his eyes were glazed over with unshed tears. Hyde cared for them just as much as he did the first time Jackie had broken up with Kelso━not at all.
Tears from his friend over a girl that he himself loved meant nothing.
Kelso crying over Jackie was a joke. It was a joke back when all she was was the bitchy anchor around Kelso’s neck. It was a joke when he got caught cheating with Laurie.
“We were in love,” Kelso choked out, voice thick and watery from crying.
“Kelso.” Hyde snapped his fingers in front of Kelso’s face and tried to capture his attention. “No you weren’t. You were cheating on her with the Earth Mother Whore.”
Kelso blinked at him and swallowed hard. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love Jackie.”
Rolling his eyes, Hyde took the joint back from Donna and took the last drag from the remaining stub. He coughed as the burnt smoke hit his lungs and pinched the dying ember on the paper between his index finger and thumb. The high from the marijuana wasn’t enough for Hyde to tolerate listening to Kelso talk about being in love with his chick.
Ex chick. Future ex chick.
Time travel was such a fucked concept. It was one thing to hide a hurt that he had reasons for having, but the hurt he felt wasn’t for the Jackie of 1976 but the Jackie of 1979. He was hiding a deep ache in his chest that was caused by a girl that had probably been crying over his moron friend the night before, not him.
Miles away there was a shrill, loud, bitchy cheerleader who was probably stuffing all of her Kelso paraphernalia into a box right at that moment and it was killing him that he couldn’t have her. And because of this time travel bullshit she didn’t even know that she had ever been his and he had been hers.
“I can’t believe we’re missing Vanstock all because of Jackie,” Forman scoffed. “Leave it to her to ruin everything.”
“Forman,” Hyde turned to him in disgust, “really? Are you forgetting certain important details?”
“I still can’t believe you all knew!” Donna slapped her hands on the spool table. She glared at them all and then stood up from her seat. “I’m going to go see Jackie.”
“Wait!” Fez called after her. “I’ll go with you!”
Hyde reached over and pulled Fez by the back of his shirt, forcing him back on the mushroom ottoman. “Sit down!” Like hell was he going to let an infatuated Fez try and take advantage of the situation again.
Fez wrinkled his nose and gave him a disgruntled look before shrugging it off. “So what happened with Laurie?”
Hyde rolled his eyes yet again. Right after Jackie had confronted Kelso, Laurie had taken off when it was obvious they weren’t going anywhere. She had looked downright gleeful when they all had dragged their stuff back inside, looking miserable. She took one look at a sad Kelso and shrugged it off. No one knew where she went after everything went down, but Laurie made herself scarce as soon as it was clear that no one was going anywhere.
Kelso was a dumbass, but the consequences for his actions lead to Hyde finding out that there was more to Jackie than they all originally thought. There was just one very important difference in this timeline.
Jackie wasn’t heartbroken over her split with Kelso. In 1976, Jackie had told Kelso it was over, tears thickening her voice, and then threw herself at Hyde for comfort. This time, Jackie tossed out the break up statement casually with the same attitude she would give a shoe department employee her size on whatever clogs took her fancy and then went on her merry way.
Hyde didn’t know what to make of that. As annoyed as he had been when he was last sixteen years old, Kelso and Jackie’s first real break up was the catalyst to his and Jackie’s relationship changing.
This was his punishment at last from the government. Kelso threatened the president and once they all were lulled into a false sense of security, Hyde was shifted to a different time and was forced to relive his teen years in a simulation that altered the events of his life out of his favor.
Out of his favor? Shouldn’t this be what he wanted? Hyde was back in a time that he and Jackie could just hang out without any of the complications of dating.
But life was a bitch because that’s not how it worked.
His body was closer to seventeen than twenty but his memories were still there. He could still remember the way Jackie felt under his fingertips, how she breathed into him when he laid kisses onto her inviting mouth...and how she looked with eyes full of tears from a broken heart.
Couldn’t rat out a friend? Hyde inwardly scoffed. Maybe his sixteen year old self had a point, but nineteen year old him had more loyalty to the tiny loud girl than his doofus friend.
Government simulation or not, he wasn’t going to let Jackie go through all of that bullshit again. Hyde had planned on warning Jackie before she surprised him and took things into her own hands.
“You could have just—and I’ll say this yet again,” Forman flattened his palms together and pressed his fingers to his mouth before shouting, “not make out with my sister!”
“No,” Kelso’s expression became serious as he turned his attention towards Eric, “I couldn’t, Eric.”
“You know what?” Eric threw his hands up and flailed them in exasperation. “I don’t even care anymore that you ruined Vanstock. What am I going to tell Donna? She’s going to ask me if I knew the whole time.”
Hyde rolled his eyes behind his aviators. He already knew how that turned out last time when Donna had stormed off, upset. “As entertaining as it would be to see you fuck this up further, Forman—just tell her the truth.”
“How is that not going to screw me over?” Forman gestured wildly again. “She’s going to know that I’ve been keeping this from her.”
“Because if you lie it will end up biting you in the ass later.”
“Hyde is right, Eric.” Fez nodded in agreement. “Just take a look at Kelso. It’s biting him in the ass right now.”
“And you already lied earlier when you tried to get me to cover for you about Don Juan El Tardo and The Village Whore.”
“No!” Kelso jabbed his finger at Hyde’s direction and then Forman’s. “Eric, you can’t tell Donna. She’ll tell Jackie how long it’s been going on and then I won’t be able to get her back.”
The other three boys stared at Kelso like he had grown a second head. Fez was the first one to fling something at him, tossing as many magazines and comic books he could reach. Forman was irritated by the events of the day and needed an outlet. Hyde already knew how Kelso was, wasn’t surprised by his statement but it didn’t stop from irritating him and the anger boiled deep in his gut.
“I’m out of here.”
He was done with this crap for the day. It finally hit where the punishment was. Hyde was going to have to witness Kelso jerking Jackie around all over again━only this time, he was going to have to pay the price for feeling more than he wanted to for her.
This crap ain’t happening again. He slammed the door shut for his bedroom and flopped on his cot. This is why he didn’t do love. Fuck the U.S. government. . . In a way, Jackie was grateful for the place in time she had been sent back to. She wouldn’t have to deal with anymore of Michael’s crap and she had less stuff of his to throw away.
“He really gave you a slinky for an anniversary?” Donna sat cross legged on Jackie’s bed, tossing it back and forth between her hands. “Kind of makes me appreciate Eric more.”
“Yeah, Michael’s a moron.” Jackie slipped the photo of Michael out from the frame on her bed and wrinkled her nose in thought. “You think Fez would want this?”
Donna’s face scrunched up in confusion and she shrugged. Jackie shrugged back and tossed it into the trash can by her desk. She wasn’t exactly sure when Fez became a little obsessed with her ex-boyfriend, but maybe this was before then if Donna didn’t understand the question.
“I’m really sorry about the Laurie thing,” Donna apologized for the second time since she had arrived at the Burkhart mansion. “I just found out before you showed up and was asking Eric about it.”
Jackie kept her gaze on the box of stuff she had collected from her year of dating Michael. She bit her lip to keep from smiling or making a comment, but she couldn’t help the warmth that spread in her chest.
Despite her friendship with the Donna of 1979, it sometimes felt like Donna sided with the boys over Jackie most of the time when they were younger. They had their moments though and Donna was like a less attractive, goofy older sister. It felt kind of nice to have her right now even if they weren’t as close as they would be some day.
“I wanted to tell you but once I saw you I blanked out a bit because...well,” Donna shrugged, hiking her shoulders up to her ears, “you’re kind of my friend and I didn’t want you to get hurt and for me to be the messenger that caused it.”
“Well, I deserved to know.” Jackie finally turned her gaze back to Donna and smiled slyly. “But you could always do something for me to make me feel better.”
Donna rolled her eyes in exasperation but she playfully shoved at Jackie’s shoulder. “Alright midget, what are you scheming at? And no, I’m not dumping Eric in solidarity or throwing out my clothes.”
“As great as those two options would totally be, that’s actually not what I was going to ask.”
Donna sat up straighter, her curiosity obvious. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion but nodded for Jackie to continue.
“I really meant what I said about not loving Michael and—“
“Jackie, you just told him you loved him three days ago.”
“Shh! Let me talk you big goon,” Jackie snapped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “Ignore that, that was the past and I’ve learned some stuff about myself, okay?”
“Okay. So what about not loving Kelso?”
“I don’t want him to bother me. I know he’s your friend and he’s been your friend longer than I have but can you be on my side about this? I really am over Michael Kelso and never want to be with him again.”
Donna stared impassively at her for a moment before nodding in understanding. “I’m guessing this means you’re asking me to run interference in case he tries to get you back like he did after the Pam Macy incident...incidents?”
Jackie nodded enthusiastically. “That’s exactly it. Look,” Jackie turned her whole body and sat cross legged on her bed, “Michael isn’t just cheating on me with Laurie but also some tramp from Sacred Heart and really that’s just what I know about.”
In reality, Jackie knew a lot more now thanks to Steven tricking Michael to reveal everything he had ever hidden from her.
“I know he’s a cheater but you don’t seem as upset as I expected you to be.” Donna raised a brow in confusion. “Like you sound a little angry but mostly resigned. I expected waterworks. Didn’t think you could get over stuff like this unless you found someone else.” Donna slapped her hands on the bed on either side of her hips. “Oh my god, Jackie! You already like someone else!”
“No,” Jackie lied, shaking her head and dragging out the vowel in the negation. Damn Donna always nailing it right on the head. 1976 Jackie didn’t love Steven and it would be weird if she suddenly had feelings for him. “I just realized that what hurts is my pride, not my heart. So, I don’t really love Michael.”
As much as the cheating hurt back in 1976, Jackie had recently felt pain that made the Michael cheating stuff feel like a mosquito bite in comparison.
She didn’t know when the timeline would spit her back to where she belonged, but the one thing she did know was that she wasn’t going to be spending her time in the past letting a boy she didn’t love touch her. And Jackie of 1976 might not know it yet, but she deserved better than to be with that doofus.
She found better. And she lost better.
Jackie blinked her eyes but the tears welling up in her eyes threatened to roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t be sad about that. Steven wasn’t her boyfriend in 1979 and he wasn’t her boyfriend in 1976. It didn’t matter how much she wanted him to be. 1979 Steven didn’t see a future with her and 1976 Steven didn’t see her at all—at least not as anything other than an annoyance.
Her parents were never around, she just broke up with the cheating boyfriend she didn’t even want, Steven wasn’t her friend yet, dorky Eric wasn’t really an option, and Fez was way too into her to be a real friend. The only thing she really had was her tentative friendship with Donna.
How did Donna end up being her lifeline?
“Could we still hang out?” Jackie sniffed. “I know I’m not with Michael anymore and well I’m not really part of the group…but I think of you as my friend too. My best friend. Despite the fact that you’re a lumberjack and all.”
Jackie was about to tell Donna that her eyes would get stuck if she kept rolling her eyes but was cut off by the feel of a slightly calloused hand taking hers into its grip. Donna offered her a small smile and nodded.
“Of course, midget.”
1976 and going into 1977 was going to be a rough school year for Donna. Donna invited her to live with her when she didn’t have a home and would in the future of this timeline. The least Jackie could do is save her lumberjack heart some heartbreak. Especially ones she may have had a hand in—there would be no Casey Kelso this time around.
Squeezing Donna’s hand, Jackie smiled to herself. It was only a day and she already had more than 1976 Jackie had. She had no idea why she was there or how but she did know one thing:
She needed to make a list.
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