#she'd be a very good guard for that experiment i think

[kail-lizuc]

since i saw your tag on that put prev somewhere post!! i appreciate it tho i do wonder whos observing me

oh i love that. what an insane idea. imagine being stuck in a hospital for a broken leg and having to endure psychological torture on top of it for no real reason

also if i may. i think it might just be this little menace watching you. she certainly watches me enough to get the job

[sorcerous-caress]

So fun fact about me irl I work with children but often my teacher language slips out like telling my friends to say “bye bye bus”, telling another person in my lecture writing to “be nice to the pencil, it’s your friend.��� And greeting a roomful of grown as adults with good morning boys and girls. It’s mortifying but How do you think the companions would react to having a teacher!tav slip up like that.

Dealing with a Teacher Tav

[Bg3, fluff, platonic kinda, nb!reader]

[Gale, Shadowheart, Laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc]

Gale

He delightfully plays along whenever you tell him to thank a stranger or say goodbye to an inanimate object. He thinks it's very silly and joyous.

Teachers have always been a big part of his life, it doesn't phase him in the slightest when you unawarly awake the deep memories of being in wizards pre-school for him.

Says good morning to you back, adding a teacher honorific at the end for the sake of being playful while asking if you've finally graded the homework he handed in.

He gives you an apple occasionally. He thinks he is very hilarious.

Shadowheart

She freezes in awkwardness whenever it happens, not sure if you’re being serious or just playing around. Sometimes, you don't even register slipping up as go on with your day, leaving her wondering if she's imagining things.

She has zero experience with the school system, completely confused by the need to say thank you for carriage after it arrived. It's just a carriage, why should she?

One time while her and Laezel were arguing, you used the same call you'd use in the classroom to get the kids to quiet down and it completely caught them both off guard. They just stood there baffled, forgetting their original argument.

Laezel

Why, yes, she is very familiar with teachers. In fact, she was the best out of her class, ask any githyanki teacher, and they'd tell you endless praise about her throat cutting techniques and sword welding stances.

You, whoever, use very unusual teaching techniques. How would learning a song about washing your hand and brushing your teeth help her in slaying her enemies?

Intriguing, so you take advantage of the brain's tendency to latch on to phrases that rhyme, which makes them easier to remember? And you encode your melodies with instructions to embed them into the impressionable youth?

Huh. She actually is impressed. She made her decision, you will lend your teaching skills to help her embed the most effect way of fracturing someone's spine into a melody to spread to the githyanki children.

Wyll

As someone who has been an unofficial teacher for so many kids throughout his years, he can relate to your struggle a lot. He slips up more than he cares to admit.

The both of you meeting early in the morning while still groggy and tired, your brains working on automatic mods as you greet each other with the same high pitched enthusiastic voice you use to greet a toddler.

Then just stare at each other, complete understanding between the two of you. Like two people accidentally using their customer service voice in front of the other.

You struggle to tie your boots once, and he unconsciously bends down to tie them for you while using the rabbit loop euphemism, only to stop in his tracks as he realises what he's doing.

He uses a curse word once, and you immediately use your teachers voice and say, "we don't speak like that here, that's wasn't very nice."

You're both tired, you both need a nap and neither of you brings it up when the other slips.

Karlach

Much like Gale, she finds it extremely amusing. Top tier comedy to her. Unlike Gale, she hasn't been to any proper schooling system, so she doesn't exactly know what most of these phrases mean or imply.

In a way, it lets her pretend she was a part of something like a school in her youth, like she could've had a normal childhood like everyone else.

She'd indulge you, saying goodbye and thank you to the pigeon that delivered her a letter, or overhearing Wyll's rabbit loop ryhme and whispering it under her breath as she ties her own boots. Who knew this could've been so easy?

Astarion

You remind him of how Leon was with his daughter back in Cazador's manor. Astarion never was close with any of them, but still, he sometimes overheard him attempting to give his daughter a semblance of a normal childhood and growth.

It's endearing when you accidentally use your teaching ways while dealing with the owlbear cub, but he'll never admit it.

Doesn't indulge you with it, he has appearance to keep. Well, unless he has a chance to twist your innocent meaning words into a sex or gorey joke like the 12y old humour that he has.

Ah, the scrowl on your face is the exact same one Leon had around him, such fond memories.

Halsin

Ah, you bring him back to his old days of having to deal with the children at the grove. Although his methods focused more on showing them that nature is a friend rather than inanimate objects.

But who is he to judge your ways? If anything he could learn a thing or two from you to add to his skillset.

Tells you about the fables that were passed down from elf to elf throughout the generations, animal stories have always done a great part in teaching him morality.

Do you happen to have any? Maybe you could tell it to the children of the grove, they are good kids.

Minthara

As a noble, she was only given the best and most prestigious of teachers while growing up. Even the ones that weren't a drow would still be considered the best of the best, crème de la crème.

Yet not a single one of them applied such...childish methods. etiquette and discipline were taught by the lash and threat of punishment, not lullabies and gentle guidance.

....it's not as bad as she imagined.

She doesn't get why some of your companions find it amusing. She doesn't bother indulging either.

But sometimes, sometimes, when it's just the two of you, and she is sure not a single soul is around, she will reply with a pun with the most deadpan face expression you've seen.

Jaheira

Despite what most would think, she actually integrated the same methods into her teachings back when her kids were little, it just happened to be weaved with her more dangerous lifestyle ascept.

Here comes the plane, with the airplane usual holding a good dosage amount of poison to build resistance.

A short rhyme about what to check before leaving the house, except the list has a suspicious amount of daggers and trap disarm kits in it.

If it works, it works, so what if she had to alter a kid's book about a honey loving yellow bear into one with decipherable texts to teach them Harpers' secret communication language.

Minsc

Ah! Boo does use the same method on him sometimes, the two of you have a lot in common. Although Boo's methods do involve a bit of biting every now and then.

Say, how about he teaches you some fables from Rashemen, a lot of them are about a rabbit who got lost after not listening to his witch frog companion.

You could use it in your teachings later! Show the youth the importance of good teamwork. Yes, he is aware of the fact he didn't listen to Jaheira and got captured by the cult. No, he doesn't see why this is relevant? Why is Boo suddenly agreeing with you? He is supposed to be on his side.

[kurogane2512]

I'm so down bad for Jade. I just know she needs a long full-body massage after a long day's work. I need to serve her every need and pamper her soooo bad. whatever she wants!! nothing is off the table!!!

THIS. BASED. VERY BASED ANON HATS OFF

She definitely deserves this god knows how long she has been working for the IPC doing the same stuff every day all for their goal, and whatever she faced in the past I want to believe she has a tragic backstory too but that's not the focus here. We are here to pamper and service her right now 🥰

Jade x gn!reader || Fluff and slightly suggestive

Treat her like a queen even if she doesn't ask for it. She'll treat you equally in return, that's guaranteed. The long days she spends at the company cooped up in her office dealing with clients, meetings, negotiations and so much more are always easy to pass when she knows you'd be waiting for her at home ready to please her in any way. Jade had mastered the art of patience, she knew the fruit she'd obtain at the end of the day was filled with sweetness and pleasure. She knew every minute of the wait is worth it when she has you.

She's used to it but she still gets caught off-guard whenever you pick her up in your arms bridal style the moment she enters her mansion. She has barely removed her hat and heels and she's already swept off her foot and the next thing she sees is your smiling face, tiredness and exhaustion slowly takes over her and she rests in your arms simply enjoying the moment.

"Hehe, I have told you to stop doing this, haven't I? I don't want your arms to be in pain, my darling~" Jade remarks as you walk to your shared room.

"And I have told you every time that it's fine. I'm stronger than you think~"

"Oh, I don't doubt that. I just want you to save your strength for the other activities~"

She teases with a playful tap on your nose, a light blush forming on your face as you realise what she means.

"Y-You aren't one to talk...."

Jade smirks and grabs your face to plant a supple peck on your lips.

"That's why I have you, don't I?~"

You avert your gaze with embarrassment but she knows what you are thinking. Jade was very good at reading your expressions, she could practically read you like an open book. Her teasing always left you flustered even after so long, one would wonder what kind of charm she had on you. You know her needs well in moments like this, you are already well prepared. A warm bath filled with her favorite scents and flowers is what she needs first, even better when you join her and let her rest her body on you.

A wine during this is always welcome and you make sure to serve her favorite. Moments like these are hard earned and she makes sure to enjoy every bit of it and reward you in return whenever she can, she will never fall behind in repaying you. Next in line is a full body massage that she always looks forward to, loves to lie down on her front while you climb up her body and massage her back and shoulders. The pleasant sighs and moans leaving her lips are divine, sometimes making you flustered as they are too suggestive for their own good.

She loves the feeling of your hands caressing her all over exactly the way she likes it, the pressure and motions are just right and she melts into your touch. It's even better when you follow this with kissing her all over; starting from her silky smooth legs, planting kisses from the ankle up till her thighs. It's a form of worship as well as adoration, something that never fails to make her feel appreciated and loved. She's more than likely to just pull you up and passionately kiss you the next moment, even flipping over and straddling you as if to devour you.

"Hmm, what have you planned for me next, sweetheart?~" she asks while kissing your neck.

"Anything you want, just tell me."

Jade smiles and kisses your forehead, "Oh, but I love to experience what you have planned. It's more fun when you surprise me~"

You smile back and sit up while holding her then whisper something in her ear, your words making her smirk and chuckle in return. She's eager to experience what you have planned but sometimes she wishes she wasn't so patient just so she could have more and more of your surprises every day.

[ask-caine]

ok ok what’s yours and moons love story. Beginning to end

OOC POST

It's a bit of a crazy story, actually!

We originally met online through TADC, when she messaged all the Caine accounts she could find for a shitpost "wedding" thing. We ended up hitting it off and talking about random things for a while. It started with my random fact about Kentucky marriage laws and how a couple used them to get married by cocaine bear (hence the below picture)

We ended up learning about a shared interest in plague doctors, as well as discussing several very random topics. Anyways, she invited all the Caines to a discord server, and I ended up being the only one who actually showed up. We would end up talking for hours upon hours day after day there. It was genuinely shocking how much we had in common.

At this point, I had been kinda been picking up on some of the flirtatious undertones behind some of the things she was saying, but I wasn't 100% sure about it yet and was still kinda testing the waters. I'd heard the term love at first sight, and looking back on it, that's pretty much what it felt like. I had been developing a crush on her up to this point, and I kept thinking about her as I was getting ready for bed. I had to keep stopping myself from falling head over heels, reminding myself we barely even knew each other and telling myself "no, she's just being nice. Don't be weird, there's nothing behind this, she's just being friendly."

...As it turned out, she wanted to be a little more than friends... Given my feelings up to this point, I was a little overwhelmed when she told me. I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts, to process everything (hence her jokes about me pulling a Caine and running away). But I liked her, too, and was willing to try a long-distance relationship. So, that's what we did.

It was only a few days after we first got together officially that I told her I loved her. It just felt right. Apparently I caught both of us off-guard with it, since she was sure that she'd be the one who would've said it first. ...We both dived in a little too headfirst from there. From my side of things, it was just so exciting and exhilerating to have this feeling I'd been searching for all my life, and I wanted more of it. We took a step back and both agreed to try and take things at a more reasonable pace from here on out.

We ended up learning a lot about each other. It was like we were the same person, split apart and put in two entirely different situations but turning out the same way anyway. ...This similarity became concerning when we realized we both had the same last name, as well as the fact that we both had Scottish ancestry. But, one family search check later, we confirmed that we are not, in fact, related. Just another insane coincidence that further proves that we were made for each other...

We shared a lot with each other. Our interests, hobbies, ideals, feelings on various topics. Our experiences throughout life, good and bad. The darkest parts of us. Every day, we grew closer. There was no denying that there was something special between us.

That isn't to say everything was perfect. We both still had a lot to learn about ourselves and about each other. There were ups and downs. Things were far from easy. There was a lot of avoidable pain both ways. As time went on, we started to become a little more distant...

Eventually, the stress of life and school and worries and everything going on got to be too much, and she called for us to take a break from the relationship. This hurt, of course... But, taking a break and being done are very different things. I was okay with taking a break, since we would still hang out and such sometimes, just not as romantically.

But, that still wasn't enough. Everything continued to be really stressful, and she felt like she wasn't a net positive in my life and was dragging me down (though the truth was exactly the opposite). So, she decided to fully end the relationship. Which... Really hurt me. Badly.

I kind of fell into a depressive state for a while. I had opened myself up like never before, let myself be more vulnerable than at any point in my life. I had finally found love, the one thing I'd truly wanted all my life, the only thing I've ever needed, and then it was just taken right away. The one thing I feared more than anything else in the world had come to pass.

We would still talk occasionally, but not like before. I already hurt so much, and just talking with her without being able to say the love I still felt was torture for me. So, I distanced myself a bit. I dealt with things on my own. I learned a lot about myself as I came to terms with how things had ended up.

Eventually, I started to feel a little more okay. I knew I could never stop loving her, so I decided to try and turn that love from romantic to platonic and still try to be a friend. Because while I may have lost her, she didn't want me out of her life completely. I could make do as just friends.

But, when I started to come back and we started to talk more again, she realized how much she had been missing me while we were apart. She figured out that some of the things she'd been feeling had been more than she'd realized. She learned that she actually was happier when we were together, and that she still really enjoyed being with me.

So, she began to give little hints again, like before. And, again, I picked up on them, but I didn't want to believe them 100% because of how much I'd been hurt last time. I told myself that she was just showing platonic love, the same way I was. Things would never be the same again. They couldn't be. If I was good for her before, she wouldn't have left...

It was actually Randy who got us actually talking again, first on our blogs, and then regarding what we were being sent. This eventually led to us talking just in general, about all sorts of things... Including what had happened between us. It was emotional, but we both came out of it feeling better about things.

That said, it took until this post before I realized she still loved me and that it was okay to love her back, the way I'd been holding in all this time. We had a heartfelt reunion, though we weren't officially dating again just yet. It still took me a while after that to fully accept everything and let down my guard again, after how much I was still hurting from last time...

But I didn't like the feeling of keeping her away. Of having a barrier between us. I desperately craved that deep, personal connection of love with her again. So, I opened my heart up again. And I'm so incredibly grateful that I did.

Soon after that point, Randy showed up and all those shenanigans ensued. But they only managed to get us talking more about things and uniting against it, which actually brought us even closer together. So, I guess if one good thing's come out of that dumpster fire of stress and stupidity, it's that.

Things have been absolutely wonderful since we got back together. We both learned a lot about ourselves in our time apart, and things have been much better between us. The rocky, uncertain road from before the break had smoothed over. And we fell so much deeper in love the second time.

Add in the stress of the past several weeks, with all the Tumblr drama with these blogs and the hiatus and everything (which I'm not getting into because you can see all that for yourself by looking through our blogs), and you're caught up to the present day. Life is still very stressful for us both, but a lot less so than when we first got together. We understand ourselves and each other so much better, which helps us make less mistakes and treat each other more tenderly and personally in the ways that we need most.

As for the future, immediately after finishing school, I plan to find work and save up to visit her in Canada sometime in the summer. After that is a little hazy at the moment, but we'll figure out our lives and put together a plan to find stable jobs and create a good life for ourselves up there.

And that's it, that's our story. From when we met all the way to the present day. You said beginning to end, but I'm afraid there is no end to our love. The story's still being written. Our lives are still being lived. I hope to be able to add to this years into the future, when we're living together and when we start our own family. But it might still take a while to reach that point.

[ckret2]

On chapter 30 of The Writer Uses Misleading Graphics To Trick You Into Looking At This Fic About Human Bill Being The Shack's Prisoner: Summerween part 2! Bill wheedles Mabel into helping him make a costume. Mabel wheedles Bill into spilling some of his preciously-guarded secret backstory. Ford is kind of in awe.

Also there's like 4.5 drawings in this chapter. They're all very silly drawings.

####

Bill wouldn't tell Mabel what his costume was—"I want to see who can guess it"—but all it needed was a brown bedsheet, a long red wig, cardboard (to be drawn upon), and flip-flop sandals.

The bedsheet was the easiest to acquire. Dipper's barely-worn brown sandals were just slightly too big for Bill but Mabel helped tie them on with yarn. the shack's cardboard supplies were still depleted from making Bill's triangle mask, but they could make do with paper and popsicle sticks. Mabel didn't have a red wig but she did have a blonde wig and red markers. Since Bill was, by his own reporting, terrible at drawing, Mabel offered to do the fancy artwork if Bill did the tedious task of recoloring the wig. He claimed he'd feel like a mortician putting makeup on a car wreck victim, but nevertheless accepted the deal, and they settled in around the living room table to get to work.

"So just a bunch of houses, right?" Mabel asked, starting on the first drawing.

"Ancient Greek-looking houses," Bill said. "So, marble and columns. Don't think too hard about the details—this is a 21st century American costume holiday, not a historical reenactment. You can slap columns on anything and call it 'Greek' and every human in town will buy it."

"Do ancient Greek houses have chimneys?"

"No," Bill said. "But adding one would be funny."

Mabel considered that, weighed up the value of historical accuracy against entertainment value, and decided giving one house a chimney would be funny. She gave the whole house a thick black outline in marker, and pulled out crayons in black, white, and whale blue to quickly add some light shading to the marble. 

Mabel didn't think she'd ever seen Bill focus so hard or so quietly on anything the way he did on coloring that old wig red. He was giving it more attention than he did his own hair: while his golden locks were a tangled, uncombed, soggy mass shoved dismissively over his shoulders, he was dying the cheap wig (and his fingertips) strand by plastic strand with the bright-eyed morbid fascination of a third grader studying a pack of ants as they disassembled a bird's corpse.

This was the longest she'd been around Bill without conversation—usually, you couldn't even walk into a room without him immediately chattering at you like the motion-activated animatronics at the Summerween store. It was hard to think around him. Bill didn't give you room to think.

What did Mabel think about Bill?

He was right, she was still mad about the mall. No—mad wasn't the right word—mad was his word—she was scared. She'd never really stopped being scared of him, if she was honest with herself. But everything he'd done that day, from tricking her into trapping herself to reminding her of almost dying, had just reinforced why she should fear him.

But. She thought he felt bad about it. And she didn't think she'd ever seen him feel bad about anything before.

Maybe that meant her experiment was working. Maybe he was changing. Yeah, he was still scary—but he was Bill Cipher, he had a lot of scariness to work through. He was moving in the right direction, and she wanted to encourage that.

He hadn't apologized for the mall; but, since he'd tried to make up for it at the time, and that was a sort of apologetic action, Mabel decided she could tentatively forgive him for that day—provided he continued to improve. Put him on forgiveness probation. And that meant they were on friendly speaking terms again.

Which was good, because the quiet was starting to get uncomfortable. She surveyed her art for something they could talk about.

After a couple of as-historically-accurate-as-she-could-imagine houses, Mabel had started varying up the designs by redesigning houses she could remember off the top of her head with columns and white marble. She'd made a stately marble Mystery Shack, and a columned-covered doppelgänger of the house with the terraced yard across the street at home, and then she'd decided to make a Greek-ish version of her own home. "Hey Bill. Have you ever seen my house?"

"In person? No. But it came up from time to time in you kids' dreams, so whether I've seen it depends on how accurate you think your dreams are," he said. "It has less plants and more windows in your brother's dreams than in yours."

Mildly disturbing answer, but not disturbing in the direction she'd expected. "What! You mean you haven't haunted our neighborhood or anything? I don't believe it."

"Do you think I spend all my time stalking random humans? Don't flatter yourself."

"Well, seeing it in dreams isn't good enough!" Mabel pulled over a blank paper. It was hours until trick-or-treaters showed up, they had a little time to waste. "I'll draw it!"

"Wow, really?" Bill looked up from his wig. "You're not worried about letting the big bad triangle see your house?"

"Come on! You already know where I live, right?"

Bill immediately rattled off, "1337 Fairview Drive, Piedmont, California, on the northeast side of the street where it's less hilly."

"Exactly—you creep. So who cares if you know what it looks like, too?"

A square, sky blue house with two stories and a triangular roof; a big living room window on the left, a covered door on the right, three windows on the second floor, and a chimney. Mabel had drawn her home plenty of times—but doing it for a friend (?) was different from doing it for a teacher or a librarian, and she put extra effort into the rose bushes under the living room window. She added her and Dipper's smiling faces in the upstairs windows and Waddles's face downstairs in the living room.

"Waddles sleeps in the kitchen, but he basically owns half the yard to wallow in. This is my room, and here's Dipper's—I get three windows, but Dipper has the biggest window and a bigger room, so it's fair, no matter what he says—"

"Oh, you two have separate rooms now?" Bill was leaning halfway around the table and craning his neck to see the image right side up.

"Uh, yeah? Since we were ten?"

Loftily, Bill said, "I don't know how you'd expect me to know that. You both still dream about sharing a room."

Mabel paused and tried to remember how often she dreamed about Dipper in his new room. Sometimes she woke and was still disoriented to find her bed in the middle of the room instead of against one wall with Dipper's on the other side. "Huh."

She added a few more details—the front steps, the gate, the shingles. (Bill watched nervously as she pulled out the gray crayon to color the driveway—but she didn't notice how it had been tampered with.) She talked about her home, and in turn Bill told her weird things, like that Dipper often dreamed of monsters coming out of the fridge. When she finished, she autographed her name with a star on the "i" in Pines, offered it over grandly, and said, "Here, you can keep this!"

Bill accepted it without the customary effusive gratitude with which one ought to accept a generously-gifted original artwork from a 13-year-old prodigy. "What am I gonna do with it?"

"That's your problem!"

"Fair enough!" He checked his leggings for pockets and, when he didn't find any, set the page on the table by his elbow. 

Offering accepted. As Bill resumed coloring his wig, Mabel picked up another piece of paper and got to work on the next columned house. "What does your house look like?"

Bill stopped dead, looked straight at her, and said, "My what?"

What was weird about the question? "Your house! Or whatever you lived in before you came here. You came from somewhere before you tried to invade Earth, right? You didn't just pop out of somebody's dream."

Bill laughed. "Yeah I did!"

"Bill."

"4500 years ago the construction workers of Egypt had a shared nightmare about the immense tombs they'd spent the last century building—"

"Biiiill."

"—and when they awoke they found the combined psychic energy of their terror had spawned a sleep paralysis demon more powerful than Ra! So then I ate their souls—"

"Seriously, Bill."

"I'm being so serious right now."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine! I get it. You're embarrassed." She shook her head and returned to coloring.

She felt the combined spiritual energy of hundreds of imaginary Egyptian construction workers beating down on her face from Bill's eye. Like a laser. "'Embarrassed'?"

"Because you don't have a house," Mabel said. "I think it's okay, you don't need to be embarrassed! I don't think you're a loser or anything. It's just kind of sad—"

Bill snatched up a blank piece of paper. "You want a house? Fine! I'll show you a house." He grabbed up an orange crayon, muttering, "It'll put your stupid overpriced shed in California to shame— Where's the ruler—?" Mabel tried not to grin.

For several minutes, he was perfectly silent. Mabel glanced over to see him coloring with three crayons at once, only for him to shove a hand in her face and snap, "No peeking."

Mabel got through two more drawings before Bill slapped down his paper over Mabel's. "There! How about that?!"

She looked at the drawing, which Bill had helpfully labeled "Party Central!" in red crayon. A great stone pyramid so dark brown it was nearly black, with bricks outlined in brilliant gold and molten orange and fiery red, and a sharp multicolored X hovering above it—

Mabel gave Bill a flat look. "This isn't your house, this is your Torture Temple."

"The what? Hey, is that really what people are calling it?! It's not the Torture Temple, it's the Fearamid!"

Despite herself, Mabel burst out laughing. "You named it the 'Fearamid'?!"

"It's a pyramid and humans fear it! It's genius. Portmanteaus make great names."

"What's a portmanteau."

"It's a word made from the unholy Frankensteinian fusion of two other words. Like getting 'electrocute' from 'electricity' and 'execute'!"

"Or 'romcom'?"

"Yeah, or that."

Mabel considered the drawing. "If you want to scare less people, you could call this your Bill-ding."

"HA! Oh, I'm saving that."

"Anyway, this isn't where you live," Mabel said. "You were there for like a week tops!"

"Yeah, before your great-uncle killed me. I'd still be living there if it weren't for you jerks." He stuck out his tongue.

"Come on, Bill. I showed you my house. Draw where you grew up or something!"

"What's wrong with the Fearamid?"

Mabel crossed her arms. "Why don't you want me to see your real house?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

Bill opened his mouth to protest, but then stopped, a thoughtful look on his face. "Eh, you know what? Why not. If you're gonna be so ridiculous about such a silly thing." He pulled over another piece of paper. "But if I don't have enough time to finish coloring this wig, you have to help me."

"Fiiine." She returned to her own drawings as Bill got back to work.

After a long silence—longer than he'd taken to draw and color the Fearamid—he said, "Okay, done. Here." And he pushed over the paper with one dismissive finger.

She eagerly accepted the drawing—and frowned. There was nothing on the page except for a straight flat black line, interrupted by three line segments of bright blue and a cluster of red and green dashes. "What is this?"

"Where I grew up," Bill said, innocently, already back to coloring the wig. Mabel could see his mischievous smirk. "As seen from the front. Just like your drawing of your house. So we're even now."

Mabel's brows furrowed as she stared at the page in confusion. "What...?"

"You do know I'm from the second dimension, right? A universe that's flat like a piece of paper. I figured Sixer would've told you all about it by now." Bill picked up the drawing and held it between his and Mabel's faces, so that, viewed from the edge, all Mabel could see of the paper was a thin flat line. "What do you think the second dimension looks like to somebody in the second dimension?"

Mabel took the paper back, looked at the underwhelming flat line representing the front of Bill's house, and said, "I hate you." 

"We had the prettiest roses in the park," Bill said, pointing at the red dashes. "Crayon really doesn't do them justice."

"Shut uppp."

Bill laughed at her; but then, to her surprise, he said, "Okay, all right, I guess a big fancy 3D creature like you can't understand the nuances of two-dimensional sight. So, here." He flipped over the page. "Top down view."

The back of the page had what looked like a floorplan. A narrow room on the left, a large L-shaped room, a tiny room nestled into the L's top right corner, and a medium room on the right. Little shapes filled the rooms—furniture of some kind?—but she didn't see anything immediately recognizable like a top-down bed or table and chairs. Green and red spirals dangled off the bottom of the floorplan.

"I'm no Edward Bishop Bishop, but it gets the idea across," Bill said.

She studied all the strange little figures in fascination, looking for anything familiar. She pointed at a few shallow bowls filled with blue sticking out of the wall between the L-shaped room and the tiny room. "Are these sinks?"

"Hey, you're pretty sharp. Sinks and the tub." 

"So the little room's the bathroom."

"Right again." Bill pointed out the rooms on the floor plan. "Master bed's on the right, kitchen and living room in the middle—and you found the bathroom—and second bed's on the left. That was my room! The one with a million books," he pointed at a wall with countless tiny multicolored lines coming off of it. "I was a big reader as a kid. I've always been an intellectual."

"Who was in the other bedroom?"

"I never really went in there, who cares." Bill made a dismissive gesture. "I think there were some desks and stuff in there too, but I didn't bother to draw them since I never used them." He picked up a yellow and a black crayon and added on to the drawing, dexterously turning the crayons in his hand to switch between colors without setting either one down. "I spent most of my time in my room." He'd drawn a little yellow triangle with an eye. He picked up a red crayon to point an arrow at the triangle and label it "Me!" "I didn't even have to leave the room to see the TV. The perks of psychic powers!"

Mabel wondered which of the weird shapes was the TV; but before she could come to a decision, she was distracted by the scale of Bill drawn in his room. Maybe he'd just drawn himself big, but he seemed cramped in that narrow space. And he'd hardly have room to turn around in the bathroom without his corner smacking something. "It looks pretty small. Is that normal on your home world?"

"Ah, I rarely spent time at home—it was just a place to sleep between speaking engagements," Bill said. "I was always on tour. Living the life of the rich and famous! Hotels, jet planes, and tour buses!"

Mabel shot him an irritated look. "You said this is where you grew up."

"This is where I grew up! I got an early start making my fortune. I was already famous by the time I was, uh..." he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Developmentally, I think I would've been about equivalent to your age. Maybe a bit younger."

How much of all this was true? It didn't feel like a lie—and she couldn't see how he'd benefit from lying about any of it, except maybe claiming to be famous. So it probably had to be true. He'd actually made her a drawing of his house. Even after he'd complained about being so bad at art. She beamed at him. "Thanks, Bill. Your weird alien house is neat! I like the squiggly spiral flowers! Are they actually roses?"

"They were the flower that everyone mentions in poetry and that you have to bring home when your wife is mad, so, same basic function as roses," Bill said. "Fun fact, they grow in spirals so that they're pretty on the outside, but—"

####

"—but have more surface area to absorb sunlight on the inside," Mabel said, pointing at the flowers. "Alien biology! And the orange things are couches and the colorful box in front of them is his TV, and Bill says he could watch TV through the wall but he never really liked TV, he preferred live performances—maybe we should take him to a musical! And the little sideways cushions on the walls are their beds because gravity goes to the left because their house faces east—I have no idea why!—so, I guess that's their 'floor'? But if that's the 'floor,' Bill didn't explain why all his books were on the 'ceiling' without them falling off, and..." Mabel trailed off, giving Ford a concerned look. "Grunkle Ford? Are you okay?"

He was gaping at the drawing. "Wh—? Yes. Sorry. I'm just..." He shook his head in amazement. "I never even got that slippery eel to admit he has a calendar system, and you got the blueprints to his childhood home?"

Dipper said, "Yeah, this is amazing. How did you get this out of him?"

"Oh, I didn't do anything special," Mabel said casually. "Just drew our house and then suggested he was too scared to let me see his."

Dipper grimaced. "You showed him our house?"

"Don't worry about it! He already knows where we live."

"Of course," Ford said, taking a quick note in his journal. "Exploiting his ego. He's very proud; undermine that pride and he'll feel compelled to defend his honor." Ford had started goading Bill into giving away more than he meant to the same way. He wished he'd started doing it far earlier; but he'd spent so many years foolishly assuming Bill's pride was objective and justified that he sometimes forgot what an egomaniac Bill really was.

As Mabel had spoken, Ford had filled several pages with bullet-pointed half thoughts: dodges questions about the master bed—his parents' room?; no bed or bedroom for a sibling, he seems like an only child; "speaking engagements" is probably a euphemism, what was he doing to become a child celebrity; were his books his only childhood possessions or just the only thing he valued enough to draw; did he gain his "psychic powers" while amassing the power he needed to "liberate"/destroy his dimension? "Can I borrow this drawing to make a photocopy?"

"Sure! Don't forget the line on the back," Mabel said. "And you can copy the Fearamid, too! Did you know he named it the 'Fearamid'?"

"Oh yeah, I heard him call it that," Dipper said. "I think I recorded it in Journal 3?"

"I should've read that before we threw out all of Grunkle Ford's Bill stuff," Mabel sighed. She slid over the Fearamid drawing to Ford. "Bwop! He drew it tilting all weird to the left? He wasn't kidding when he said he's bad at drawing."

Ford studied the drawing and frowned. He lay his pen on the drawing to use like a makeshift ruler. "It's not 'skewed'—he drew the front face as a perfect equilateral triangle, and then extended a side on the right to turn it into a pyramid. It's poor perspective—there's no point of view from which one side would look like a perfect equilateral triangle and you could see another side, but..." He trailed off again as he made a note to himself about what this might mean about Bill's ability to perceive the third dimension and his artistic sensibilities.

"So he draws like Picasso!" Mabel concluded. "Oh! Bill mentioned a name when he gave me his house, he said he wasn't like Edward Bishop Bishop—and I remembered it because it sounds funny. Bishop-Bishop. Maybe he's another artist Bill likes? Or somebody who makes blueprints?"

"I'm sure I've heard that name. I think he was a mathematician?" Ford frowned. "I can't recall, though." He wrote down another note: Edward Bishop Bishop – mathematician/artist? Something to look up later.

Dipper glanced back and forth between Ford and Mabel as they talked, feeling his stomach sink at how excited they were and how easily they got along. First the mysterious disappearing crystal shop in Portland, now Mabel made this huge discovery about the guy Ford had spent years trying to learn about... Dipper swallowed hard and tried to tell himself he shouldn't feel jealous after he'd gotten Ford to himself for basically the past year. "I can't believe you found out all this."

Mabel immediately looked at him. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

Dipper winced. He'd realized a moment too late how he must have sounded. Quickly, he said, "I mean, it's great that you did! Finding out more information about him is great. But, like... investigating the paranormal is my thing. It's what I spent all last summer doing, and it's my dream job, and... and now, the biggest paranormal mystery in human history is in our house, and you're the one getting all the info out of him?"

"Well, yeah," Mabel said. "I'm our official Bill spy, remember? I'm the one who made friends with him."

"I know, I know." He shrugged jerkily. "I'm just... kind of disappointed that I'm not prying eons-old secrets out of an alien demon. You know?"

Ford had paused in his writing to listen to Dipper thoughtfully. "I understand. When you're exceptional at something, it can be... difficult to share the limelight," he said. "Not because you don't think anyone else deserves it. You just don't know if you'll ever get it back."

Dipper's face heated up—he didn't want Ford to think he was bad at sharing, of all things—but he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess." Ford patted his shoulder understandingly. 

"Aww," Mabel said. "Didn't you say that if we're running an experiment on being nice to Bill, you want to be in the control group?" She punched his arm. "Welcome to the control, bro!"

"Ow!" Dipper rubbed his arm and laughed weakly. "Yeah, okay, you're right. This is what I get."

Mabel said, "You should try talking to Bill! Maybe he'll tell you stuff too. He's really easy to talk to as long as you don't mind him sometimes saying creepy nightmare things."

"And as long as you're prepared for his mental tricks," Ford said.

"Yeah! Grunkle Ford's got a whole class for that," Mabel said. "He'll teach you about the BITE model! It's how cults sink their teeth into you!"

Dipper chuckled. "Sure. Maybe I will. We're gonna be at home handing out candy for a few hours, maybe I'll find an opportunity to interrogate him."

"You're not going trick-or-treating?" Ford asked.

"No," Mabel said, with an exaggerated sigh of disappointment.

Dipper elbowed her for her theatrics; they'd already agreed on what they'd do tonight. "We've got plans with friends. But we do get to wear matching costumes again."

"Creepy ghost children!"

"Ah," Ford said. "That explains your..." He gestured at them. They were wearing a suit and a dress, old-fashioned and gray, with tattered hems and dusty black dress shoes.

"Barty helped us put the outfits together," Dipper said.

"We still need to do our makeup," Mabel said. "What about you, Grunkle Ford? What are you doing for Summerween?"

"Ah." He glanced toward the ceiling ruefully, as though he could see The Enemy in the shack through the many layers of dirt above. Summerween had been one of the things he'd missed most about Gravity Falls; even during his years as a reclusive scientist in the woods, he'd usually taken off Summerween and Halloween to hand out candy to the children bold enough to visit his house.

But Bill's eagerness to participate had sucked the fun out of the day. The thought of celebrating Summerween in the same house as Bill felt too much like celebrating with him. "Nothing, I suppose. I was planning to stay down here." He gestured at his desk. "Continue my research."

"What are you working on right now?" Dipper asked.

Ford quickly said, "Nothing. Just—the same research," and was immediately hit with a pang of guilt. Remember what happened last summer when you tried to keep secrets about Bill out of embarrassment? Reluctantly, he said, "I've... split some research duties with Fiddleford. While I'm waiting to hear back from him, I'm looking into—some magical knowledge Bill revealed. To determine how much of it's true."

Dipper looked puzzled. "Revealed when?"

Mabel slammed her hands on Ford's desk. "Grunkle Ford, you can take a break from gathering intel on the enemy for one day! It's Summerween! Promise me you'll do something to celebrate before the day's over."

Ford let out a huff, but smiled. He wanted to do something. Surely he could come up with something that would let him avoid Bill? "All right, I promise. I won't invoke the Trickster's wrath tonight. Could you leave your costume makeup in the bathroom when you're finished? I'll find something to do with it."

"Perfect!" Mabel hugged him; then grabbed Dipper's hand. "C'mon, let's finish getting dressed. The trick-or-treaters will be here any minute!"

"Okay, okay." Dipper waved at Ford as Mabel dragged him to the elevator.

When they were gone, Ford turned back to the papers Mabel had given him. Bill's childhood home... Assuming he wasn't lying, at least. But an entire blueprint seemed like a complicated spur-of-the-moment fabrication even for him. If Bill was lying, it was a lie close to the truth.

It was strange to imagine Bill as a child with a bedroom full of books. Strange to imagine Bill as a child at all. What did a young triangle look like? He couldn't imagine anything different from how Bill always looked.

The floorplan did look small. Smaller even than the apartment over the pawn shop had been. Ford tried to remember what the homes he'd seen in Exwhylia had looked like...

He raised his head as something the kids had said registered. "Barty? Who's Barty?"

####

While Mabel was downstairs, Bill inspected her box of crayons.

The wrapper around the gray crayon was coming loose.

He took the glue stick they'd been using to reinforce the paper houses with popsicle sticks and carefully stuck the wrapper back on.

The house was too quiet without anyone around to talk to. He hated the quiet.

From the corner of the living room behind the table, when Bill leaned on the wall, shut his eyes, and listened closely, he could faintly hear the hidden elevator. He headed upstairs to stow the drawing of Mabel's house somewhere safe, and then went to the downstairs bathroom to finish dressing for Summerween.

####

(Y'all I worked hard on those fake crayon drawings. Anyway I know we're all collectively going insane today over the book news but if you took time out of your day to read this, I'd love to hear what y'all think!)

[llamagoddessofficial]

i love the good aquarium au! i want to see the fishes happy 🩷o🩷 How do the sirens interact with mc in this version? 🩷

Sans: He has to wait much longer than his bad AU counterpart to get to 'play' with her. This aquarium is very safety-focused, and unwilling to have anyone even near his open tank, let alone in it. Despite his obvious obsession and courting displays, Mc remains safely behind thick barriers and high out of his reach- the only chance he'll get is if he proves he can behave, and Mc herself is the one who approaches management about the subject of swimming with him.

Her presence clearly has benefits on him, so she spends a lot of time on his shifts, talking to him from up on the railings or entertaining him through the glass, sometimes just doing homework by the dappled blue light of his tank. He does occasionally attempt to pull her into the water, whether he's breaching and knocking the railing or grabbing a feeding pole and yanking it (in the hopes of yanking her in with it)... but he's always unsuccessful.

It gives them time to get to know one another more. Time for him to mellow, realise that just because she leaves when her shift is over doesn't mean she won't come back. Time, so that when they do finally make physical contact, it's a gentle and mutual experience that leaves him feeling like things in his world are going to be okay.

Red: Again, poor Red has to wait a lot longer in this AU to get to swim with his girlfriend. But not as long as Sans. Since Red's so well behaved with humans, his keepers interact with him a lot more closely (albeit while wearing plenty of hand and arm protection), giving him lots of chances to flirt with her close-up. He gets many more opportunities than Sans to show that he can behave with her; though 'behaving' still includes grabbing her butt if she lets her guard down too long.

... In this AU, the aquarium knows Red considers her his mate. Mc does too. After she was suddenly hired, the first thing management did was put her on a pretty intense and in-depth learning course. Now even if he's flirting like a siren she knows exactly what's going on. Initially, it made the aquarium cautious about letting her swim with him- but since he's never going to be released, it might be alright after all. It does make life easier when it comes to things like giving him medicine; he doesn't bite when it's his mate doing the medical checkup.

Skull: Mc ends up interacting physically with Skull a lot sooner than anyone intended. At first, there was obviously zero contact thanks to his kill, she'd only even THINK of interacting physically with Skull if she was completely confident he'd never hurt her. And that kind of confidence would only come from a long while working with him, perhaps years.

... Thing is. He's a clever boy, he wants Mc's affection. And he won't wait years. He makes a 'hobby' out of breaking security measures and pulling her into the tank- at first it's a terrifying incident, but as it happens over and over, it loses its shock value and becomes something of an in-joke at the aquarium. Especially since he never actually does anything... just pulls her in, cuddles her, then politely sets her back on the side of the tank like nothing happened. No matter what they do, Skull just finds increasingly more and more complicated and innovative ways to snatch her into his pool.

Eventually, they can clearly see he's not going to kill her- and they decide it's probably just easier for everyone if she interacts with him in person. He's going to grab her anyway, may as well let him do it before he finds a way to break every security measure they have.

[crimeronan]

I feel like Luz “Separation Anxiety” Noceda would be a bit dismayed upon learning that Vee and her friends are going to graduate and go to college at the end of the school year (presuming that Freshman Sophomore Junior Senior are Human Realm Exclusive Terms)

Like “oh my entire social life actually revolves around you and your friends because I’m too awkward and different to know how to approach people and am too nice and accommodating to any and everyone because of The Horrors to tell anybody to back off if they get too nosy so truly I cannot fathom how I’m going to function in a school setting without you but it’s Fine :) I’m really happy for you and not at all going to cry about this :)))”

Maybe she’ll join the school band to try and become socially independent and then just get really sad cause she misses Raine :(((

baby girl :(

i think she'd have a kind of tough time in a school environment to begin with, honestly. i made a post to that effect earlier but decided it was too depressing and deleted it.... but! since i ended up thinking a LOT about how her school experience would be handled. the gist was:

she'd have a really good 504 plan in place -- 504 plans are written plans that help students with disabilities stay in a normal classroom. it would have accommodations like her getting pre-written notes about what they'd discuss in class, a slightly separate desk to avoid being unexpectedly touched by other students, blanket permission to step out into the hallway if she gets nervous, extra time on tests, etc.

she'd purposefully be matched with the friendliest teachers and the easiest graders, people who are Very willing to talk with her about her needs. and also to say "i'm not upset with you." probably the really relaxed english teacher from TTT is one of them. this occasionally does remind her of raine and make her feel incredibly guilty/sad :(

and i think she'd have a one-on-one aide assigned to sit with her and show her what she's supposed to do in a classroom and help her navigate between classes. most likely this person is with her all day except for during lunch periods, when she takes her break....

this definitely marks luz Other by the student body (as having a paraprofessional does for every kid in a mainstream classroom) but she actually does not mind it! it feels like being guarded & she's grateful to have someone telling her what to do.

(in my head the aide's name is miss delilah and she's an OC who exists purely to be really kind and understanding. because please god give luz this.)

even with all of this, though....

classrooms are not Easy for luz. in the canon, she has CRIPPLINGLY hyperactive ADHD and can't focus on anything going on. she's weird and offputting and exuberant and causes ten million problems.

here, she has a LOT of baggage from belos. not just the physical trauma, but also everything she's internalized about How To Behave. she's learned a lot about how not to annoy him. and school is a public-facing event, which means she's in full Gracious Princess Mode. trying to make herself as small and unobtrusive as possible

so all of her concentration goes into Sitting Still and Being Quiet. she can't anxiously stim without disrupting the classroom, she can't chatter without annoying people, she can't chew through pencils or rip up paper without attracting Concern.

this is. incredibly stressful!! for her!!

stressful enough that she can't really retain anything the teacher says in classes. her homework is always done and her notes are always neat, but her quiz and test scores are Abysmal. because she either can't process the questions or can't remember the answers. because being in the classroom is Hard

which just adds another layer of stress. luz is like. PLEASE don't tell my mom. please please please please please don't tell my mom :(

vee doesn't really understand this -- she Loves the classroom. loves to sit at a desk and participate in discussion. loves to do worksheets. loves to get good grades and be a pleasure to have in class. Behaving Normally is a lot less stressful for vee than it is for luz.

which makes luz even clingier, when she can have lunch with vee or see her between classes. she's microdosing on being in the company of someone who feels Normal And Fine. and who has friends who clearly feel Normal And Fine. and who don't mind if luz is weird around them

luz being like oh!! you're going away. i see :) um. congratulations!! i'll be right back. i need to lock myself in the shower and cry so hard i throw up.

[madamegemknight]

How about MOTU hot takes? From any iteration (the 80s cartoon, the comics, the cgi reboot, the other serious reboot)

rubs my hands together maniacally. boy oh boy crispy you are ENABLING me here we go >:3

The 1987 movie really isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It's not great, don't get me wrong, but the people who made it were clearly passionate about what they were doing and it's a fun (if somewhat aggravating at points) ride. Dolph Lundgren is a good He-Man who understands that the character is just as much about his heart as he is his muscles, the way it and the Power Tour serve as sister experiences to each other with their incorporation of music and Earth storylines is fascinating to examine, and while Julie's subplot about her dead parents is utterly pointless, I think Kevin and Julie are two genuinely likable characters who deserve a second chance in the grander scheme of things.

The Greatest Show on Eternia is the worst episode of the Filmation series and should have never been made, but the way Masters of The Multiverse chose to "address" it was immature, childish, and nearly tipped the comic into edgelord territory for me. If something is bad, you should take the time to figure out what went wrong, then try and fix it - you shouldn't murder the only tolerable character in that episode and then have an aside about how the Eternian Circus is being thrown into chaos because of that murder that does nothing to progress the overall plot!!! wadda heck!!!!

CGI!Krass did literally nothing wrong. She was a deeply traumatized kid who was absolutely correct regarding pretty much everything (especially wanting to guard the Tiger Tribe instead of running off and ignoring it forever like Adam did, considering the later reveal that the Dark Masters kidnapped Justine), and the fact that the show is more willing to blame her flawed behavior on "evil rock that makes you evil in her helmet" than acknowledge she watched her parents die and literally cannot be in enclosed spaces without Adam as a result is legitimately disgusting. CGI tries so hard to have their cake and eat it too that they end up portraying Krass as in the wrong for wanting things to stay the same with Adam while ALSO establishing in one of the tie-in books that if she'd never met Adam she would have never even partially recovered from her trauma.

Speaking of which, considering that this IS apparently a hot take outside of my own little circle of incredibly cool and correct mutuals: CGI Season 3 is bad. It is so bad it makes the flaws of the previous two seasons, which I could mostly ignore up until that point, painfully obvious. It is genuinely upsetting to me that a series where the SOLE SURVIVOR OF A GENOCIDE BRAINWASHED INTO BELIEVING THE PROPAGANDA HE WAS FED ABOUT THE COLONIZATION OF HIS PEOPLE is made into a villain will be some kid's introduction to MOTU, ESPECIALLY considering how tolerant and accepting the Filmation series was.

Orko is a good character and plays a vital role in the franchise overall! Wow yeah it's weird to remember how that used to be a hot take in any non-tumblr MOTU fan community until like...2021. Crazy that huh.

Maybe not a hot take per se, but I don't personally think that Trollans have that different of a lifespan/age rage from Eternians. As far as I'm aware, the only implication of that being true is from the UK comics, and even there it's said that "it has been suggested" that Orko is over 500, not that he is - and this is also the same comic that said that nobody knows what Trolla is like, something that is patently not true, so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that maybe the UK comics have some slightly incorrect information and possibly shouldn't be blindly trusted when determining major factors about a character! There are several times in the Filmation series that he either flirts with or shows a very clear attraction to adult Eternians (something that would be Weird if he was aging at a different rate than an Eternian), and while he does call Adam "kid" when they first meet, that's just how Orko talks - he says "atta boy" unironically for crying out loud. I have always envisioned Orko being around the same age as Adam, if a little bit younger, and while Trollans probably do age at a different rate on account of being a different species, it's probably not to that extreme of a difference otherwise it would have been mentioned elsewhere.

Netflix She-Ra is not special for having Adora start out as a brainwashed soldier who has a crisis over realizing she's been fed imperialist/fascist propaganda her entire life. That is literally the plot of The Secret of The Sword, which was released in 1985. I love Netflix She-Ra dearly and always will, as without it I would have never become a fan of MOTU in the first place, but head in my hands if someone calls it bold and innovative for doing things that the OG series did back in the 80s one more time, I am gonna wind up on the evening news 🙃

[yanderes-galore]

Can I please request a Yandere Alphabet for Princess Cadence please?

Sure! Again, sorry it took so long. Here it is! I'm sorry it isn't that good, Cadance is really hard to yandere :(

Yandere Alphabet - Princess Cadance

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Smothering affection, Kidnapping, Isolation, Condescending behavior, Delusional behavior, Love spell briefly mentioned, Forced/Dubious relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I imagine Cadance isn't that intense of a yandere. She's a princess of love and would definitely want to be gentle and affectionate with her obsession. She'd give you the world if she could and her intensity would most likely be from how overwhelming her affection is rather than anything violent.

She can be quite stern at times, however.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Cadance is not a violent pony, so I imagine she isn't going to be very messy even as a yandere..

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Cadance is not normally cruel. She wouldn't dream of hurting her darling (physically). If you were ever "trapped" in her castle then she treats you with care. After all, she loves you. Why wouldn't she shower her beloved in gifts and affection?

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

She tries not to, you have freedom within the Crystal Empire. She knows you'd still like to have that much freedom. Her beloved deserves that much, right? Unless you try to leave.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Quite a lot. Cadance would want to be very honest with you and can be vulnerable too. She just hopes you will do the same to her at some point....

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Disappointed yet tries her best to be understanding. You'll just need time to get used to her... she'll be patient. Love requires patience, even if it hurts. Although... if you keep this up then she may have to do something about it.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and she doesn't like you trying to escape.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

There isn't many when it comes to Cadance, luckily. However, maybe her putting a love spell on you or you realizing she's manipulated you into a relationship this entire time? The betrayal hurts enough. The fact you can't escape is worse.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

The traditional fantasy. Marriage, a family, all by your side. Nothing too complicated in her eyes. She's always dreamed of being married.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes but she learns to control herself. She doesn't really lash out but may send a glare towards who she's jealous of. She tries her best to work through it. She might even work on isolating you more, smothering you in affection to make you focus on her.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Obsessive, Affectionate, Clingy, Smothering, Manipulative, Protective, Subtle, Somewhat jealous.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

I'd say maybe you met as childhood friends or you were one of her guards. Similar to how she knows Twilight and Shining Armor essentially. That or maybe you're a Crystal Pony servant. From there she couldn't get you out of her mind, love at first sight.

Although, instead of love, it was most likely obsession at first sight.

She'd make her intentions subtle, carefully manipulating you into her hooves. By the time you realize it, it's too late. As a princess associated with love, you think her intentions are pure.

Oh how wrong you were.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Her obsession makes her persona darker, but for the most part she acts the same with you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

She seems like she'd be uncharacteristically condescending when you push her nerves. Her punishments are probably things like isolating you in a room. Nothing too intense... yet she's determined to get her message across.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, no? So surely you'll crawl back to her by the end of your isolation.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not many as long as you reciprocate her affections just enough.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

She can be really patient as long as you don't push her too far.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

She'd have a really hard time moving on. I actually doubt she would, always having you in her heart even after you're gone.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little and maybe.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Childhood seems like the most likely cause.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

She'd feel horrible and try her best to comfort you. She never wanted to hurt you, so seeing her beloved so scared and closed off makes her reflect. Maybe she needs to be easier on you... smother her feelings a bit just to make you smile....

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Reciprocating her affections, even if you're faking it she'll give you more freedom.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not intentionally.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not really a worship yandere but she would do anything to live and protect you like most yanderes. She's a princess, she's capable of using strong magic or words to keep you by her side because she loves you. Or so she thinks.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Years, since Alicorns live a long time, she's willing to wait.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally

[dangermousie]

I think my fave scene in today's eps was this very very painful convo between them, where it turns out that the real issue for them is not baby marquis but basic incompatibility in what they want in their future.

I find is such an example of dramatic irony that the reason she's discovered she wants things that are opposite of what he wants (to retire far from the world) is because of him, because of his working so hard to bring humanity to her and show her there other things in the world than missions, for her to be able to follow what she wants (and figure that out), rather than just being an automaton. But of course, once she can allow herself a personality and wants, it is not surprising that what she wants and what her personality craves is very different from how he sees his future. If she were still an automaton, she'd be fine with doing whatever he wants but she is now a flesh and blood woman and so...

If she were still a blind obedient follower of orders, she'd indeed go off with him for that life empress wanted for her merely because empress wanted it for her, she'd have never had a chance to figure out if it's her thing. It's a catch-22, isn't it? When they first met, she was not just frozen but shellshocked so she couldn't imagine she could like cities or friends or being part of a team - she never got to experience that, it was all alien to her. But in helping open the whole gamut of human experiences and emotions to her, it made them incompatible.

Oooof!

The thing is, it totally makes sense why they want such different things. To her, having a team and helping people is intoxicatingly new; she wants others in her position (women of scarlet guard) to experience that freedom too. But he's burned out because to him being part and then a leader of team and all the things that are so new to her, are something he's been doing for years and he just wants to put that down. She's never had a team but he's never had solitude. He was so good at showing her these things because he's had so much experience with them; and now she's taken to them but all he wants is to put that burden down.

This is a very adult disagreement and not one with an easy solution - because neither is wrong; they both are allowed to want what they want - but it clashes. And there is no easy solution. They can overcome baby marquis and jealousy easily enough. This? This has no easy way out.

I love this for many reasons but one of them is because there are no perfect solutions; both of them need to decide how much they want the other versus their preferred vision of the future and if there is some sort of compromise (and if they do both survive to the end, which doesn't have a high chance, they might figure out some sort of compromise but it will be a compromise - they will not have it perfect both ways. Maybe she can travel half a year and come home to him for half a year or w/e.)

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.141 Gold nuggets

I called Dad as soon as I got up, hoping to catch him before eating breakfast to invite him to eat with me. He sounded surprised at the early invitation but accepted, naturally. We went to the steakhouse in Oasis Springs because they had a killer brunch menu. Once seated, Dad asked about Sophia, and I told him she was back at full capacity, which was why I was comfortable leaving her for a few hours. That wasn't what he meant, though. He said I needed to keep an eye on her because many women fell into a depression after giving birth. No one really knew why it happened, but apparently it was very common. He thought Sophia seemed withdrawn at my birthday party and didn't interact with the baby much. Though I knew he only expressed concern out of his love for her, I felt my defenses and anger rising because it felt like he accused me of not taking care of my wife when that was all I had done since she was pregnant. I told him I took it upon myself to care for Desiree while Sophia recovered, and that's why she didn't have the baby much. And as far as being withdrawn, she was just very introverted and often preferred to observe. He understood, being an introvert himself, but just wanted to bring it up so I was aware, especially because she's really good at hiding what's going on inside.

I refused to believe the possibility of her being depressed. I knew all her facial expressions, body language, and tones of voice. We were always honest with each other, especially about big stuff like that. She'd tell me if she felt off. Even though I knew in my gut she was fine, just the possibility of him being right made me feel sick, and I didn't want to talk about it anymore and switched gears to raving about Less and the babies. I told him about how good she was with them, and how she did actual chores now. That part shocked him, and he halfway believed me.

"In all seriousness, though," he began, "I knew she had it in her."

"Me too, but how did you know?"

"She might be spoiled, but she's not a princess."

I snorted.

"She's not," he continued. "She behaves the way she does because we all allowed it. But what did she do when she went to Mt. Komorebi? She found a place to live when she got tired of living with that family and got a job. She did what she needed to do to make things happen."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

"I know why you invited me here," he said.

I'm sure my eyes were as large as saucers because that caught me ALL the way off guard. What kind of segue was that?

"I just wanted to spend time with you, Dad."

"You're gonna be okay, you know. You're a good man, and you have a good woman by your side. As long as you keep communicating like you do, everything will be just fine. You'll miss us, but you don't need us."

"That's not true. I'll always need you. I want all that parenting advice you promised me."

I sounded like a whiny little kid. Obviously, I knew my parents wouldn't be around forever, but it's one thing to know it and another to actually experience it. I wished I could go back to the time when I teased them for trying to hide their age.

"Parenting is a journey, son. It never ends. Every time you think you have it figured out, your oldest goes through something new and you're back to square one again. Don't complicate things by trying to be the best parent in the world. Be the best parent for your children. Get to know them and treat them as individuals because if you treat them all the same, someone's going to feel misunderstood. Just be the parent you would have wanted. We weren't perfect. Be better than us. You already got a head-start by being with the right person for the right reasons."

All of that was gold, and I appreciated it, but that last bit stirred up all those questions I wanted to ask Mama. Although they weren't meant for him, I still wanted to know something.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Do you still think Mama was the right sim for you?"

He sighed and stared at the table for a while.

"I do."

"Seriously?"

"You don't?"

"No, it's not that. I just thought that maybe after all this time... I don't know. Maybe you had some new revelation or something."

He was so insightful, and I wanted to know everything that went on in his head. I wanted to listen to him talk until my brain could hold no more words.

"You're right. I have had a long time to consider this, and that's how I know it's true. She was the right woman for me, but we didn't get married for the right reasons."

"Both of you?"

"I told you, I'm not perfect. Your mom told you why she wanted to get married?"

"Yeah. She wanted to have children."

"Right. I got married to appease her."

"Wait...what?"

If he was about to tell me one more bad thing about them, I swear... Good thing I got over all that insecurity because it never ended with these two.

"That night, I was telling her about an article I read about conservation, and she came from left field, suggesting we go to Sulani and elope the next day. It was so random, and I thought she had lost her mind. I knew she was my soulmate, but I wasn't thinking about getting married yet."

"Seriously, I mean, who would?"

He chuckled.

"Your mother, that's who. I tried to talk some sense into her, but you know her. She has an answer for everything. But there came a moment when she realized how crazy this plan sounded and she backtracked. She took it all back, and she was so embarrassed. She started crying and beating herself up, and I hated seeing her like that. I had to do it."

"Wow. You married her to make her feel better."

"Basically. Remember what I said about women using their emotions to get what they want?"

"You think she played you?"

"No. I don't. She was really bothered and very serious about waiting. Your mother... I would have done anything for her. Yeah, she was a spoiled brat, but she was so sweet and had a way of making you want to give her the world. I didn't have much, but I could give her what she wanted. I spent the rest of the night trying to make her believe I wanted to do it and that she wasn't crazy."

"But you loved her, right?"

"Yeah, I did... I do. She wasn't trying to dupe me, but sometimes I couldn't help but think, if only I could have been stronger that night, maybe we'd still be married. But the fact is, we still could have divorced. Maybe over the same thing, maybe something else. Or maybe we wouldn't have gotten married at all. I spent a long time thinking it was my fault when the fact is no one knows what's going to happen in the future. Happily ever after isn't a guarantee, so don't get comfortable, Luca. Marriage is hard work."

He said so many things. The little boy inside me was satisfied just being in his company, but the man I aspired to be wished I had taken notes or something. How could I remember all those gold nuggets? Amid everything he said, one thing stood out. It fascinated me to hear that even though Mama was wrong for what she did, he recognized the mistakes made on both sides. It got me thinking. Could we ever truly cast 100% of the blame on one sim? I had been thinking about Jace and Alessia a lot lately. I was still angry with him, but I didn't want to be, really. He did my sister dirty, and I would probably never forgive him. But if I ever got to a point where I could pause my anger and put away my bias, maybe I could see the mistakes Less made. After all, I only knew what she told me. But that was an assignment for another day. Heh, maybe even another year. Probably a decade.

To be continued...

[piltover-sharpshooter]

Caitlyn's arc as shown by her outfits

Something I think is very interesting from a design perspective is how Caitlyn's story is shown through the outfits we see her wear in Arcane, and what I think each represent meta-wise.

Her first outfit is simple, both in universe and story wise, because it's the uniform of the enforcers while they work in Piltover, and despite being incredibly capable she's stuck as a basic security guard. You can see the hints of what would be her outfit in the end, but as it is it feels incomplete, at that point Caitlyn lacks experience mirrored in how her outfit lacks complexity.

Then we get her second outfit. Story-wise it's just some clothes Vi stole from a random person, to her it has no emotional value (she might not even wear this type of clothes if she'd choose) but narratively it fits her better, doesn't it? It looks less formal than the first one, more casual, a bit more approachable perhaps. It represents how she's gone back to basics, this is not 'Caitlyn the enforcer' this is Caitlyn Kiramman, bit naive yes, but also quick to hug, open to listening, and genuinely wanting to do good.

Which leads to outfit three, now we don't know what happened (Though I can guess, RIP Cassandra, you will be missed) but this is Caitlyn going in the completely different direction. If outfit two Cait was casual and approachable, this one is much more determined and serious, this is a woman with a job and she'll see it through, don't get in her way. And narratively it'd make sense for her to go this way too, she tried being kind, she tried to follow her ideals and she didn't succeed, worse she might blame herself for (probably) getting her mother killed. Again, because it isn't out, we don't know the full story, but if I had to guess her storyline would be about pulling back from her warpath, to find a happy medium between her duty and her genuine empathy.

And at the end we arrive at her Sheriff outfit, which is the one she wears in-game and current lore, and notice how it takes the best aspects of each of the ones that came before.

It's a more complex outfit than the first she wore, that's because she's now the sheriff, she has the experience.

It's a bit more relaxed than outfit three, she still looks like a woman who means business, but also quite less intimidating and unapproachable.

But the most important part for me is that it's purple, like her second outfit. Almost as if she were to remind herself that she needs to keep that empathic self, narratively it's the color associated with Caitlyn at her best.

Mind you, this is all my opinion, and it has quite a bit of speculation on my part, but I think what the design of each outfit means tells an important part of Caitlyn's story, and I think that's super cool.

[sorcerous-caress]

How do you think the party would react if Tav was a Fallen Aasimar? I sure it hinges on the God's aliment. What if it was a God they worship?

Reacting to a fallen aasimar Tav

[Bg3, fluff, nb!reader]

[Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin, Astarion, Gale, Minthara, Laezel]

You used to serve a god they worship/worshipped. I took some liberties with the godless characters.

Shadowheart - Selune

Assuming it happens either after the game ends or in an alternative universe where Shadowheart never abandoned Selune. Then she'd be very conflicted.

What could you have possibly done to have the most gentle of goddesses stripping your wings? Moonlight melting your silvery feathers until they're nothing but abyssal black and ash.

Her lady is wise, therefore she will be very wary of you. Yet at the same time, she can't help but feel a sense of familiarity when she looks at you. It drives away her prejudice for a moment and lets her judge you for your action, no matter how blasphemous the act of questioning her goddess's judgment might be.

Wyll - Tyr

To fall from celeste is to become a fiend. How are you any better than the devils below in the hells?

If he was his younger self, he wouldn't have hesitated to deliver you to justice, and yet the horns on his own head weight heavy like a crown paid for in a lifetime of experience. He knows better than anyone that nothing is ever what it seems like.

This Wyll is wiser, more understanding and open. He's willing to extend the same courtesy to you that he wished someone would've done to him before.

Let him hear you out, friend. Tell him what befelled this fate upon you.

Karlach - Tymora

She is more confused about how you managed to anger the smiling lady herself. It takes a special kind of asshole to turn their back on good fortune and lady luck.

An aasimar at that too? A messenger of luck?

She's never been big on the whole religion thing, to be honest with you, yet the wamrth and good fortune her goddess extended to her is still one of the best gifts she has ever been given.

So what happened? How did this even happen?

She'd never be hostile towards you nor exlude you as long as you don't do anything sinister. She genuinely belives in sharing her good fortune with everyone no matter who.

Halsin - Silvanus

Oak father preserve him. To Halsin, seeing you brings as much joy to him as seeing the shadow curse spread.

His God's teachings aren't that hard to follow, just respect the natural order and preserve all living beings. He has been diligently upholding this code through his life and spreading the teachings back at the grove.

Yet, the oak father himself marked you as an endangerment to the very being of nature. To the ancient trees and sprouting spring flowers, you reprsent the slithering all-consuming wither and rot.

He is very uncomfortable around you, not just on his guard, but you can see that he would rather be anywhere else than near you. Yet, feels like he had to keep an eye on you just in case you burn down a forest or something behind his back.

Astarion - Corellon

Honestly, he doesn't even remember worshipping the old elf or anything. He just assumes it given his previous stature and ancestry.

Not that the self-proclaimed protector of all elves has ever given him a single second of his time since he became an undead. No matter how much he prayed, it seems that the blood running through his veins barely counted anymore when it wasn't his own blood to begin with.

Fuck him, along all the other gods who turned their back on him for 200 hundred years of pure shit. It's a good thing you fell, he tells you, at least now your powers are yours alone. What's a god if not just another master to get you to do their biddings?

He is interested in you, mostly in your powers, to be more precise.

But it also encourages you to seek your own path and never think of grovelling for forgiveness or your feathers back.

Gale - Mystra

He makes a lame ass joke about if that makes him your stepfather. Dad puns included.

Surprisingly, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if it was before he fully got over his ex.

He's a scholar first and a lover second. He is genuinely very interested in learning about you and aasimars. Meeting one in a lifetime is a miracle. They're so rare that they're barely documented even. So imagine meeting a fallen one? He is beyond intrigued by you and your nature.

Sure, your morality might come into question, but he will worry about that later. For now, he is more interested in inspecting your wings and asking borderline intrusive questions about how serving Mystra was like.

Evil alligned deities.

Aasimars don't have many rules about them in dnd, but for one, they are classified as celestial beings. So technically, they can't ever serve evil alligned gods. It's never officially stated, tho so it is up to interpretation.

Devils or fiends serve the evil deities instead, so i thought why not make the reason the aasmire fell is because they decided to serve the evil god for the character.

In the next headcanons, falling is considered a good thing. Whoever your previous good god was that you used to serve, you abandoned them and went to serve an evil deity instead which is why you fell.

Laezel - Vlaakith

A good choice, a wise choice even. Laezel might not be versed much in the gods pantheon but she is sure whoever your old deity was, they couldn't have compared to her queen.

You have her respect, the same respect she'd extend to a kitherak even. In her eyes, you're the embodiment of the red dragon and rider knight both in one. Your wings and shinning blade speak for themselves.

She is honoured, fascinated too. Yet her admiration is a double edged sword, for she will hold you to impossible standards and consider it meeting the bare minimum.

Minthara - Lolth

She almost pities you, willingly becoming another pawn in this endless chessboard of drow conflict. Another gem to decorate Lolth's whip with as she inflicts it on whoever she sees fit.

Either you're foolishly naive or a complete masochist to dedicate yourself to the spider queen. Either way, she will test you herself to see exactly what you're made of.

As someone who abandoned Lolth, she'd be wary of anyone who serves her goddess. Yet you haven't cut off her head yet, how strange?

Minthara doesn't hide her disdain for Lolth around you, both warning you of the cruel fate awaiting you no matter how much of a good pet you're to your goddess.

For the longer you stay loyal to Lolth, the more of an endangerment you become to Minthara herself.

Shadowheart - Shar

Another child of the darkness, another sibling of the night to guide her through this journey. Shadowheart thinks your meeting was fate, a reward from her dark lady.

Especially if you saved her from the ship, she'd see you as her hero, a shining black diamond amonst the rubble and mud.

Mirroring how Laezel would've acted in fact, their dangerous fickle admiration of you that you never asked for would force a magnifying glass over both your flaws while exaggerating your achievements.

She doesn't hide her Shar worship from you this time around. She is proud, especially by you by her side. She will be your shield and recovery as long as you be her sword and wings.

[liminal-lesbian]

In regards to marcy finding her niche…well forgive me for being cynical, but I don’t think she has one. Both Anne and Sasha found their niches in Amphibia, but Marcy couldn’t. And it wasn’t a lack of trying either, as seen with new wartwood and the journal. If she couldn’t make friends in Amphibia, I don’t think could on earth.

You're also gonna have to forgive me for being an obnoxious optimist (it's a result of hitting rock bottom multiple times and somehow still gettin thru things), but I like to imagine things get better for Marcy after Amphibia!

I know her story wasn't well executed in the show, but I really do feel the idea of Amphibia's end being the true start of her journey makes sense to me. Marcy's biggest struggle was finding security in her identity outside of other people, hence her deep fear of being alone (if I have no one, who am I?) and her need to gain approval (if I'm useful people will stay).

The problem with this is by doing this she created a structure of self-identification that relied on her eschewing her sense of self in favour of, in essence, making herself lesser for others. She flattened herself to be the smart one, the mediator, Master Marcy of Newtopia, etc. All are identities inherently created to be someone for someone else. Needless to say the loss of these relationships, perceived or in reality, is a world shattering event because she loses not just the relationship but herself.

In Marcy's mind, for good reason mind you, people don't want her for HER. They want her for what she gives them, thus she moulds and contorts herself to be who THEY want, losing herself in the process, becoming less a person and more thing for them to use.

I think this is the message her experiences in the Core were MEANT to convey; Marcy's feelings toward Anne and Sasha were absolutely founded in reality—they neglected her when she tried to express her true self—but she also needed to learn that people will love her for her, as the holistic, flawed, true Marcy that she is. In the end Marcy needed to value herself as much in order for that relationship to ever succeed.

Obviously this could've been executed MUCH better, maybe with more emphasis on people expressing that they loved Marcy for who she was rather than what she did, but I guess that's what fanfics for, eh?

With all this in mind though, this is why I think post-Amphibia Marcy would've found a niche for herself. She's learned that she's loved beyond her acts of service for others. She doesn't need to earn people's love, she is valued and loved because she's Marcy Wu, plain and simple, proven by Anne and Sasha coming back for her (altho this could've been done better as well, ie an earlier attempt to rescue Marcy, but I do think the overall intention was there story wise). Taking this to heart I think she'd find people who share her interests and be able to interact with them in a healthy manner, meeting them as equals and not as a tool to be used. This self-respect, understanding her value and viewing herself as an equal in her relationships, is the door to finding and thriving in new friend groups outside of Anne and Sasha.

I think this is where her guarded nature would develop. She understands her self-worth, and therefore would protect herself from people who might want to exploit her again (ANDRI-ASS looking at u), but I do think she'd get to a point where she'd know when to open up.

I understand a more cynical take for sure! Looking at how she was treated in the show that's absolutely an interpretation that could come from it. Personally, as a big sap at heart, I like to imagine a future where she's happy.

Source: I spent 23+ years viewing myself in a very similar manner and project onto Marcy perhaps a bit more than is healthy

[thelikesoffinn]

hello - hope you're doing great! I love your analysis, and I wanted to ask about something I've been thinking fanfic wise but also applicable to real life (I think).

So Astarion gets paired a lot with Tavs who also have tragic past experiences (hard to be at his level of tragedy, but some get close). Which is all well and good, cause I see how writing these characters and reading about them is cathartic to many, but I also see plot-wise, it makes it "easier" for him to connect with Tav in a way, kindred souls and all that.

My Tav's background is one of someone who either had a fairly good and regular life, and, if trauma occured, it's been healthily overcome. So at the beginning of the BG3 story she's actually at the end of her own initial "character" arc.

Now my issue is, can Astarion connect with someone who has no idea at all of what he went through? My idea is that's he'd infantilize her, or openly antagonise her (in his charming way) because she's got no right to understand (especially with how he thinks it's fine to be racist and hurt the weak in the first act).

And she'd be understanding and wanting to help and all, but how can people with no/little traumatic experiences connect with those who went through hell, even with the best intentions? It's a dynamic I'd like to explore, because I've seen it played in real life a few times.

Sorry for the poem!

Hello, flower! Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed the analysis ❤️

As for your question: Eh, I do see why that dynamic is a rather difficult one. People who've survived through a lot of traumata tend to be somewhat hesitant and guarded in front of those who had normal lives at the best of times, and we all know that Astarion rarely has a "best of times", especially early in the game.

Infantilising them is something I definitely see with him. He's the type to do that with anyone anyway, but especially so with those he considers "sheltered". And sheltered is likely something he inevitably will consider Tav, as that is often the case with those who experienced trauma.

Trauma tends to age and harden you, in a way, so oftentimes people who simply grew up normally, with normal ups and downs, are viewed as "sheltered" or "spoiled" by those who didn't, even if that wasn't necessarily the case. That label isn't used or assigned maliciously, and it's simply based on the fact that other people's "normal" seems like the very best to someone who had it worse.

I can also see a huge amount of antagonism, yes, but how it shows will depend on when your story is set.

Is it while he's still dependent on Tav? Then I think he'd try to refrain from being more antagonistic towards them than necessary, since he needs to stay on their good side. So, he'd likely stick with his base-line arseholeishness, if a bit more intense at times. You know, in a sense that you side eye him and wonder if he just actually insulted you or if he's still joking around.

But if he's not dependent on them? Oh boy. Yeah, very likely that he'd be extremely mean and Tav would definitely 100% know that he means everything he says, even when it's uttered with a smile. Think how he talks to the Gur hunter in act 1 because let's be honest…that was far from subtle.

Astarion as a whole doesn't take kindly to anyone prodding his weak spots, albeit he mellows a bit towards Tav over the course of the story, and if would be even worse with "sheltered" Tav. He would likely flip his shit really hard and become extremely cruel with them, staying on their good side be damned because how dare they prod where they have no business being?

It's something I've seen at work before, and let me tell you: It's never a pretty sight. Many people who experienced trauma usually don't want to hurt others - quite the contrary, a lot of them would rather sacrifice themselves before watching anyone else get hurt like they were - but that doesn't mean they're not good at it. Precisely because they're often so hypervigilant, they have a talent in picking out your weak spots and if you test them enough, oh boy. They'll hit them with such aim and grace, you'll find yourself reeling. And that's the super sweet and kind clients, not the Astarions.

Here it's important to mention that the things people say in those situations are rarely what they really believe. It's mostly is just a well aimed assassination of your soft spots to get you to back off and leave them be.

So "sheltered" Tav will have to be extremely careful regarding any sore spots if they don't want to be hit by the full force of protective-malice.

Does that mean Astarion and your Tav won't be able to bond? Aabsolutely not, but it will be a tad bit difficult because he'll likely take a lot longer to open up and their bond will have to be built entirely from scratch. The shared understanding of their trauma can’t function as a temporary foundation – temporary because a bond entirely based on [shared] trauma will eventually become instable, if not fortified by other things – so they’ll have to put in a lot of work to even get to having a solid foundation to build on.

I'll give you a bit of a general rundown on how I was taught to tackle clients like that, maybe any of that will be helpful for you!

So, firstly: "Sheltered" Tav will need to be careful and understanding and they'll have to be able to take a blow and live with it if they accidentally step to close too early.

Important to note: They'll have to be able to take a blow but they can't be too lenient either.

Astarion seems like a person who's attached to 'respect'. Not in the 'respect your elders' way, but in the sense that he treats those he respects a lot better than those he doesn't. It's the nobility’s definition of respect - some "deserve" it and some don't and who is who is entirely based on personal understanding - so it's very in line with his background.

So, while your Tav will need to be able to take a hit, they'll need to know when to call him out on his bullshit. If you let Astarion walk all over you, he will eventually lose all respect and then this is a lost cause. Don't let him push you around.

If he's being too cruel, don't be cruel back, but definitely call him out on it and let him know that he can always ask you to stop prodding but you will not stand around and let him insult you.

Be understanding, but don't be a doormat.

Then, in order to get someone to open up, you'll have to have a lot of patience. Don't demand anything, don't force anything. Every question you ask has to be careful and phrased in a way that won't corner them, which can be really difficult in casual conversation. So, mishaps can and will likely happen, which is great material for a story anyway, so that's great! (Not so great at work though, haha.)

In case of "sheltered" Tav, it's probably best if they wait for him to come to them. Listen when he rants, listen to the tiny things he mentions and if you ask questions, make sure they directly relate to what he's told you just then.

So, if he talks about Cazador essentially making him choose between eating putrid rats or getting beaten, a question like: "Did he do that a lot?" or "Was it always those two options?" could potentially be alright because the red string is easily visible for both parties. Astarion can tell why you would ask something like that and he can follow your line of thought easily.

But a question like: "What else did he do to you?" or "Did he do other things as well?" would probably have his defences going up. It's too broad, too unspecific, and how is that any of your business anyway? What is this, an interrogation? An interview so that you can ghost write his sad memoirs? Back off.

While a question like: "How exactly did those dinners go?" or "Beaten? How?" is too specific. You're practically asking him to relive a painful moment in great detail for your own "enjoyment". Why else would you want to know? Why else would you ask how exactly he'd been hurt and humiliated, if not for that? Maybe you were planning to do the same to him. He won't let you. The past is the past. Let. It. Rest.

So, as you can tell, it's basically playing question-hot-foot!

But even if your Tav should cross the lines in that regard every once in a while - it happens, every question is a gamble - it'll eventually be fine. The closer they get, the easier it will be to ask questions, because he'll realise that he can actually trust them.

The one word I would really really avoid - and I cannot stress this enough - is 'understand'. God never use it. Tav, omit it from your vocabulary, you'll never "understand" anything ever again!

"I understand what you went though was horrible, but/and/however…" - No, you really do not. You can't understand, can't even imagine what he's faced over the years so never pretend that you do.

"I won't pretend to understand what you went through, but I want to/you can trust me/I can still listen." - Always said with kindness, but that one really is nothing but an empty platitude, at best. Hearing someone say that they don't understand you so directly is never really encouraging either.

"I just want to understand you." - Great, but you don't need to know the barest parts of a person's soul to be able to understand them. If you can't do it without that, maybe you shouldn't. And, all in all, this phrasing of the last one feels really iffy anyway, personally speaking, because it has a very manipulative edge to it. 'Hey I'm just overstepping your boundaries because I want to know you and understand you better. It's all for you..." and blegh. I hate that one, but that might be totally personal so please feel entirely free to ignore this paragraph.

Anyway, as you can see…never "understand", even if it’s just meant to encourage him. Just don't. I've seen clients who asked to be transferred to a different social worker or ended up leaving completely because someone used one of those lines, so I'd really strongly advise against them.

Instead, opt for things like "I'll listen to whatever you want to say." or "Can you explain it to me?" because that way you're not lying to his face and you're leaving everything up to him. He gets to decide where this conversation goes and, more importantly, how far it goes. Not an interview, not an interrogation, but a conversation that he controls.

And well then, flower, that’s it! Of course, there’s a lot more to it, but we’d still be here by the time Baldur’s Gate 8 is released if I went over every tiny thing, but I hope this was enough of an overview to help you build your story 😊 If you end up sharing it, don’t be shy to let me know, I’d be excited to check it out because, as you said, it’s a really interesting dynamic that isn’t explored as much as it should be. It’s a difficult dynamic, but it is so rewarding to write, read and experience. I wish you all the best ♥

[aelaer]

👀👀 tell us about your rp oc bestie :3

Sorry it took me a while to get to this - I'm honestly flattered that anyone's interested! This character was very important to me for a long time. Here's her portrait I made of her in 2016ish, and more about her is under the cut.

The MMO I played was LOTR Online, which started in 2007 and is still going with active updates even today. I started the first year it was out and played it regularly (obsessively even) until 2018ish. I can't remember how much I played the next two years but I haven't logged in for the last 2-3 years. I might in the future but for now I've had my fill. Highly highly recommend for any LOTR & Tolkien fan, but it can be a huge timesink if you're not careful about keeping track of time.

I'll explain stuff as if whoever is reading this knows nothing about LOTR for wider accessibility.

Anyway, in 2011 I switched servers to start RP and created Laerlin, a human (or as Tolkien calls them, "race of Men"). Her game class was "hunter" which is basically an archer/dps type, and in her story I made her trained in archery by her Ithilien Ranger dad (which is basically a specialist military regiment known for their woodland/stealth skills - they serve Gondor, the largest country of humans in LOTR). Since he was military, he wasn't around all the time so obviously the training was when he was like, on leave and stuff. She grew up with her mom in Minas Tirith, the capital of Gondor (and the big white layered stone city you may have seen in screenshots if you've not seen the films) while her dad was in service out in the dangerous borderlands of Ithilien across the river. I have a lot more about her background from pre-RP - happy to tell more if anyone asks.

ANYWAY. Starter characters in LOTRO start hundreds of miles away from Gondor (which wasn't even in the game in 2011) so 3/4ths of human RP chars need to figure out a story as to why they're in the starting hub (a mostly-human town called Bree) in the first place. I had a decently outlined backstory before starting RP that just grew in the telling as I discovered more about Laerlin through RP - if anyone wants to know more about her story (any part of it), just ask.

I figured since I rolled hunter and had that backstory she'd turn into some sort of hunter/adventurer in RP, right? Nope. The stories that ended up happening led her to becoming a healer. Now, healing in LOTR is very low magic, so game mechanics were largely ignored by RPers and anything resembling magic was very rarely used unless supported by Tolkien texts, at least in the RP hub. When I discovered I loved researching ancient healing methods (largely Roman surgery and American native herbal medicines, though I pulled from every old culture), I RPed healing as much as I could, and eventually Laerlin got the reputation of a good healer IC with a detailed player who would RP with basically anyone OOC. She ended up getting very busy and she got to be good through RP as opposed to all offscreen training, which I loved.

I did end up rolling a lot of "alt" characters to also RP with (I think my final count of characters was about 34 over 3 accounts - multiple accounts to RP more than one character at a time, either because one scene is slow or for storytelling purposes). However, Laerlin was always my main, the character I had more hours on by far, and what I got known by (and it's why Laer is still my online handle - it came from the first "Laer" character on my first LOTRO server and really solidified with Laerlin). Because I spent so much time on her in my earlier years of RP, she became pretty well known on the server.

The RP hub of Bree was well known for its town guards vs outlaws RP in 2011 as the head of the town guard was a very patient and tolerant player that RPed with even people I wouldn't RP with. Very nice guy. Because it was so active, Laerlin got a job as a healer in the town watch and got plenty of experience there, lasting until around 2014 after a dramatic firing that landed her jail time. She also eventually opened her own clinic (in player housing) after an RP adventure in the surrounding wilds led to a ton of gold (best excuse ever, I can't even remember who ran that adventure anymore). That got pretty decent usage considering it was outside of the main hub.

Laerlin also did a ton of travel RP. I'd just move her timeline around so I could say "okay in March she's in this area of the world, and the stuff I'm RPing in the hub is after her return". This allowed me to do travel RP and Bree hub RP at the same time. There were only a handful of arcs that I didn't do this and she was gone-gone from city RP. I took her all over the world - from Bree she went to the Shire, Rivendell, Forodwaith, Dunland, Isengard's surrounding areas, Helm's Deep, Dol Amroth, Minas Tirith, and several lands in between. She saw the aftermath of the battle of Helm's Deep as the wounded left behind began to heal, and was in the capital of Gondor when the siege occurred (in LOTRO RP, most players I was with put a long length of time between the two events due to waiting for the areas to be released, unlike the canon timeline - the whole game world's stuck in 7 months of time for several RL years, so canon dates were not strictly followed in RP). She ended up being very well traveled over her 7-8 years of activity.

Laerlin saw plenty of love. Her first fiance died (player went AWOL) within like, 6 months after her creation. She was with her second guy for like, 1.5 to 2 RL years - got married and all, became the hot gossip of the RP hub every now and again - but that ended in divorce. It's still pretty amazing how long that relationship lasted, in hindsight. There was also a tale of unrequited love afterwards from another guy that was one of the best arcs I ever did (and his player I still consider an RL friend - great guy). When I stopped RP, she was still unattached, but I like to think she eventually found love.

LOTRO has an amazing music system which uses these special text files written a certain way to generate a song with several different choices of instruments in-game. This created a lot of bands where players will write the notation for each part and play the song all together - and it often sounds absolutely amazing. But it's also great for RP, and my love for the system turned into Laerlin's love for music. She learned the lute, flute, and harp over the years and often played in Bree's tavern, or just outside. It was a great way to lure people into RP while playing with the system too.

I ended up DMing a lot of RP stories as I grew more confident as a RPer and storyteller. I'm not sure how many plots I ended up leading, but player count in the plots varied from 1-2 people to over a dozen people. Some plots were just for one or two RL days, and my longest one ended up being a month long with planned mini-events 5-6 days of the week (I'd never do that again, I was crazy).

She was also very, very flawed to start. I wanted her to grow through experiences to become a different, better person, so she started off as someone who was easily offended by anything she found uncouth (despite not being upper class, she was from the largest city in the world so definitely cultural clashes when she first came to Bree that took a long time to fully smooth out). More importantly, she had a prejudice based on her county's history with their southern neighbor, and a good dose of history and propaganda made her very disdainful of anyone from that area (Umbar, for those who know Tolkien). It took her *years* to get rid of it, and it was so satisfying to RP her growth. But she still maintained a bit of a short fuse that was triggered by some of the most minor things even in the end, which kept her interesting.

She didn't meet a ton of Tolkien canon characters. Barliman Butterbur was the most frequent since he owns said tavern that was the RP hub. Probably some background Shire Hobbits. In Rivendell, I think I was in plots where someone RPed as Elrond and I definitely had her meet Bilbo. She knew Halbarad because she was trusted by many RP Rangers who came into Bree and met him in one of those travel adventures. Erkenbrand was a major player in my Helm's Deep plot. The most egregious meeting was when she worked in the Houses of Healing after the siege and got to meet Aragorn. But by that time she had built 4 or 5 years of RP with his Rangers so it worked out well, like as a capstone to her long, long journey of growth and self discovery.

Laerlin alone saw hundreds of thousands of words of RP storytelling. Some of the RP was very silly, but a lot of it was poignant and really special. I'd never spend as much time online again as I did in the earlier years of RP, but I can't say I regret it, either, because I made a lot of friends and my growth as a writer was substantial. Because of all this, Laerlin will always have a special place in my heart.

But yeah if anyone has any questions about her (or any of the other... 34 RP characters...), or about what the LOTRO RP was like, feel free to ask. Or if you want to see any screenshots, I still have those on my old computer that I can pull up.