#she’s so complicated she wraps right back around to being simple again

[ellynneversweet]

I’m on to Lirael now, alternately laughing (Lirael’s overwrought imagining of her beautiful death and funeral is just so plucked-directly-from-the-mind-of-a-teenage-girl, bless) and tearing up (her conversation with Filris), and the line that always makes me go flat out snotty:

‘You needed a friend,’ said the Dog. ‘I came.’

[cognitiveoverload]

Yearning (Aaron Hotchner x reader)

summary: Hotch wants to understand how to move on after Haley leaves him.

note: an unplanned part two for Craving. It’s midnight here, so happy new year!

Following the dinner the team has together on the first night in Portland, Morgan pulls you aside with a troubled look on his face, then asks you if you’ve also noticed what he did. And you did, of course. Hotch is quieter, maybe even a little grumpier than usual, which is a telltale sign that something’s on his mind, something other than the case. He’s been like this for a few days now, but so far, none of you dared to bring it up.

You agree to keep an eye on him, just to be sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, but it’s Derek who volunteers to ask your boss about it when the time is right. Maybe when they’re alone, away from the rest of the team, he will open up about his issues, but until then the best you can all do is act like everything’s the same.

But several hours later there’s a knock on your door, and when you open it, you realize that you don’t have a choice, you can’t act like you didn’t know anything and wait for Derek to tell you how bad things are. You’ll hear it right from the source, because Hotch is here, leaning against the doorframe, his brown eyes full of sadness as he watches you.

After what happened in San Francisco, you’re not a big fan of being alone with him. He has kept his distance so far, but something must have changed if he’s here now. And sure enough, he gulps and points behind you. “Mind if I come in?” he asks, but you’re not sure what to say. Seeing your hesitation, he puts up his hands. “I didn’t get a key card behind your back, I knocked.”

“Fine,” you say as you step aside to let him in.

Hotch moves to the desk by the wall, then pulls out the chair next to it to sit down. You follow his lead and sit on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for him to figure out where to start. It’s serious, that much you can tell from the look on his face, but how bad it is remains a mystery for now. Although, there is something that gives you a hint—the way he plays with his wedding band. Last time he did mention his marriage being in trouble, maybe there’s more to that.

Finally, he lets out a sigh and looks up at you. “Haley moved out with Jack. When I got home from Milwaukee, the house was empty, and to be honest, I’m not sure she will ever come back,” he tells you as he rubs his forehead.

You don’t know what to say. A part of you didn’t even want to let him in, and this same part is painfully aware of the fact that Hotch had kissed you when he broke into your room the last time. You have no right to discuss this with him, you should be the last person to find out about this. Yet, here he is, opening up about his marriage to you instead of finding Morgan, the only man on the team who could possibly give him proper feedback despite having no experience in married life.

“She told me not to go after you, but I didn’t listen. I chose the team and she had enough of this,” he went on, the words clearly leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “Am I really such a terrible person?”

His question, or rather that guilty edge to his voice, leaves you speechless at first. He sounds so fragile, so unlike himself, as if he decided to let down his walls around you. “Hotch, it’s complicated,” you say, deliberately avoiding the answer.

But he’s smart, he picks up on it. “It’s a simple question. So, am I?” he asks again. Still uncertain about what to say, you stand up and begin to walk towards the bathroom, but he reaches out to gently wrap his fingers around your wrist in an attempt to stop you. “Come on, just say the first thing that comes to your mind,” he says.

“I guess she wants a husband she can always count on, someone who’s there when she needs him,” you eventually tell him, surprising yourself by how steady your voice is. A painful glint crosses his eyes before he looks down at his hand that’s still wrapped around yours, but when you try to pull your arm away, his grip slightly tightens. “Hey, I didn’t mean to—”

“No, I know, but I needed to hear it from an outsider. The only way I can fix this is leaving the team, but I don’t want to do that. I’m good at this, at least I want to believe I am, and I’m not sure I could get used to some boring nine-to-five job.”

The words are flowing out of him as if a dam has just broken, but you don’t stop him, you want to give him the chance to rant and get it out of his system. As he talks, you put your other hand on his, and cautiously start to peel his fingers off your wrist. The moment he loses contact, he comes to a sudden halt in his speech.

“Look, there’s no right answer. You choose Haley and Jack, you lose the team, but if you choose the team, you lose your family. You need to pick one, Hotch, and based on the fact you came back after Milwaukee…”

“I chose the team,” he finishes, earning a nod of confirmation from you. “Jack will hate me for this.”

There’s so much pain in his voice as he says this, so much self-hate already, that you don’t hesitate to crouch in front of him and put your hands on his forearms. “Don’t say that. You just have to work a little harder, you have to show him that despite not living under the same roof anymore, you love him just the same. He’ll understand eventually,” you tell him, and you mean every word.

Silence follows your words, but you don’t mind. You want to give him all the time he needs to think about this, and he seems grateful for that. But, after what feels like an eternity, he leans forward to be a little closer. “I’m sorry about what I did in San Francisco. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m your boss, you couldn’t just tell me to fuck off, it was completely unprofessional. It won’t happen again, I promise,” he tells you with a sigh.

You nod. That’s all you can do now.

“Thanks for talking to me.”

Hotch stands up, unintentionally pulling you up too, but before he could take even one step toward the door, you move in front of him to block his way. “If you want to vent, you’re more than welcome. Or if you feel like sitting here in silence, you can stay as long as you want,” you offer, the suggestion only meaning you consider yourself a friend he can rely on.

He shakes his head as he swipes a strand of hair out of your face, letting his fingertips brush over your skin. “If I stay, I’ll just kiss you again. We probably shouldn’t do that,” he says with the hint of a smile.

It’s painfully obvious that he’s holding back, that he’s trying to resist the urge to follow his instincts, and in a moment of weakness, you stand on your toes to press a soft kiss on his lips. “Maybe one day you can stay,” you whisper with a sad smile.

You feel his arm sneak around your waist as he pulls you against his chest, and he tilts his head a little as he takes a better look at your face. “One day,” he tells you before giving you another quick kiss. “Sleep tight.”

“Good night, Hotch.”

Following a brief nod, he lets you go and exits the room, leaving you wondering if suggesting anything could happen between you was a good idea. He should focus on fixing his marriage, fixing his relationship with his son. You? What you want probably doesn’t matter at this point in his story.

[bestalbertcamuslover]

Retirement and a Failed Proposal

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶

✯ pairing: Sebastian Vettel x Reader ✯

✯ content warnings: none ✯

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶

She and Seb had a history—complicated, very complicated. Both now retired drivers, both multiple-time world champions, both stubborn, both competitive, both once lovers, both once rivals, both once acquaintances, and both lovers once again. She had just retired, and it was that, the culmination of her F1 career, that almost signified the end of her dispute with Seb. And she hadn't forgotten him, at all. And he hadn't forgotten her, at all. He was two years retired by now. It was picking things up from the sparks, not the ashes. 

The stars above seemed impossibly bright, their reflection shimmering across the gentle waves of the Mediterranean. The sailboat rocked softly beneath you, a quiet rhythm to the vast stillness around. She was leaned back against Seb’s chest, his arms loosely wrapped around her as the two of them sat on the deck.

It had been a peaceful evening, just the two of them, reminiscing and sharing moments that felt suspended in time. His presence was so natural, as if those years of tension, heartbreak, and rivalry had never been.

Sebastian shifted slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You know,” he began, his voice low, almost hesitant, “these past few months have felt… different. Like I finally have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

She smiled softly, turning her head to look at him. “You’re not too bad for a washed-up driver,” she teased, earning a quiet laugh from him.

But then his expression changed, the humor fading into something more serious, more intense. “I mean it,” he said, his eyes locked onto hers. “For years, I tried to move on, to convince myself that I didn’t miss you, that I didn’t need you. And then you retired, and it felt like the universe was giving us another chance. And now, I don’t want to waste it.”

She blinked, her heart skipping as he gently untangled himself from she and reached into his pocket.

“Seb…” she started, but the words caught in her throat as he pulled out a small velvet box.

He opened it, revealing a simple yet stunning ring that glinted under the starlight.

“I know this might seem fast,” he said, his voice steady despite the flicker of nervousness in his eyes. “But I’ve known for a long time what I want. It’s you. It’s always been you. Will you marry me?”

For a moment, she just stared at him, her mind racing. The love she felt for him was undeniable, and being with him again felt like coming home, the home she's been away from for too long. But it had only been three months since they’d reconnected, since you’d started to rebuild something from the sparks that had never really died.

“Seb,” she said softly, her hands reaching for his. “I… I love you. I love she so much. But this feels rushed. It’s been three months. We’re still finding our footing again.”

His expression faltered slightly, but he nodded, listening intently.

“I want to be with you,” she continued, “but we’ve been through so much. I don’t want to jump into something this big without being sure we’re ready. We owe it to ourselves to do this right.”

Seb exhaled slowly, a small, understanding smile tugging at his lips. He closed the box and set it aside, taking her hands in his.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I got ahead of myself. It’s just… being with you again feels so right, so easy, and I didn’t want to lose that.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” she assured him, squeezing his hands. “We have time, Seb. Let’s take it.”

He nodded, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. “Okay. No pressure, no rushing. Just us.”

“Just us,” she repeated, a smile breaking through.

The stars continued to shine above, the sea calm beneath, and as Seb pulled her into a warm embrace, she felt the weight of the moment lift. The ring could wait; her love wasn’t going anywhere.

Seb pulled her closer, resting his chin atop her head as the two of she sat in the embrace of the quiet night. His arms wrapped securely around you, the warmth of his body contrasting with the cool sea breeze.

After a moment of silence, his voice broke through, low and teasing. “Alright, no wedding yet. But… what about a child?”

She tilted her head back to look at him, narrowing her eyes. His lips were curved into that familiar, mischievous grin that always made her heart flutter, even when she wanted to roll her eyes.

“Sebastian,” she said, a warning laced in her tone, though her lips twitched with amusement.

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence, his grin widening. “I mean, if marriage is too rushed, surely we could—”

She cut him off with a soft nudge to his side, eliciting a laugh from him.

“You’re impossible,” she muttered, shaking her head.

“But you love me,” he shot back, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple.

She let out a small huff, her mock exasperation melting into a soft smile. “Yes, I do. But don’t push your luck, Vettel.”

Seb chuckled, pulling her closer again. “Fine, fine. No babies, no weddings. Just us.”

“Exactly,” she said, resting her head on his chest. “Just us. For now.”

His arms tightened around her as the sailboat swayed gently, the night wrapping around the two of them like a cocoon. And at that moment, with the stars above and the calm sea below, it felt like enough.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶

✯ authors note: This is my very first fic!!! English is not my first language and the story is a lil corny, I know. I hope you liked it <333

[msmk11]

Are They Gone?

Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

WC: 593

CW: none

Summary: You and Wanda, your longtime crush, are sent on a mission together.

Day 27 of mk’s mad dash

The mission, in theory, is simple. Get in, steal the data, get out. No one needs to get hurt. But for you, the mission is very very complicated. Why? Because you’re partnered with your crush of over a year- AKA the Scarlet Witch, AKA Wanda Maximoff. In group settings, you’re fine around Wanda. But as soon as you’re left alone, you forget to act like a regular, normal human being. You think Steve’s done this as payback for eating his last cookie the other day.

Natasha says you should be thrilled to have some quality one-on-one time with your crush. She seems to forget you’re not a natural flirt like her.

The first of half the mission goes well, though you suppose it’d be hard for it to go wrong- traveling on a private jet doesn’t typically have many difficulties. And the ones you did face- being in close proximity to Wanda- were handled with the disguise of sleep.

When you land, you and Wanda instantly set off to the office you’re supposed to infiltrate, both dressed in janitor’s clothing. The brunette’s magic gets you in the back door without detection easily enough, and the map you previously memorized plays out in your head as you guide the two of you to the enemy’s data storage units.

It seems that things are going perfectly, and so in your gut you know that something must go wrong. Something always goes wrong.

You’re right, but not in the way you think.

As you and Wanda round the corner on the sixteenth floor, the distinct voice of the enemy organization’s leader echoes through the tiled hall. You both know you’ll be recognized immediately, and panic settles into your chest. It’s quickly replaced with confusion, however, when Wanda grabs you by the wrist and yanks you into a cramped, dark place.

The janitor’s closet.

“Pretty good hiding spot,” the witch mumbles softly.

She’s so close to you that you can feel her breath fan across your face, and you shiver.

“I suppose we fit right in with the mop,” you agree.

A chuckle escapes Wanda’s lips and you can easily imagine the sparkle you’re sure is twinkling in her eye.

Just the thought of her pretty smile makes you nervous, and you instinctively step back. This, it seems, is a poor choice, given the close quarters you’re in. You stumble right into a shelf, and with enough force that a few cleaning supplies come tumbling towards the ground.

Yet again, the brunette in front of you saves your ass, her red magic suspending the fallen objects in place and one of her hands wrapping around your waist to steady you.

Though you’re always mesmerized by Wanda’s magic, as she puts the supplies back, all you can focus on is her burning touch.

“Gotta be careful, sweetheart,” she chastises gently, “could get caught, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Your heart stills in your chest. It almost seems like she cares for you.

You clear your throat awkwardly and shake away the silly notion, “are they gone?”

You expect Wanda’s eyes to glow red while she surveys the hall with her mind, but nothing happens. Instead, she squeezes your waist more tightly and murmurs, “I don’t care about them right now. Only care about you.”

The brunette leans closer to you and you inhale sharply.

“Can’t give up the moment to have a pretty girl in my arms.”

As usual, Wanda leaves you totally speechless. But hey, it’s not like you could argue with that.

[portgasdwrld]

📞Wait a minute while I make you mine [part.3]

Featuring : Ace x fem!reader

Warning: suggestive, NSFW content mentioned, drama🤭

Part.4

Note: I love y’all

3. Love blurs

-Whats on your mind Ace ?

Enya asked the infamous Fire Fist as he took a sip of the beer he just got handed by the bartender. His eyes seemingly lost in a trail of thoughts which was somewhat unlike him. He looked at his new friend who was curiously sipping on a blue tinted cocktail.

The raven haired girl pushed her long hair behind her shoulders as she waved her hand in front of him.

-Sorry, was just thinking of stupid things

-Does the stupid thing link up to the girl we saw earlier?

She questioned him with a teasing smirk along with a shoulder nudge. His eyes locked with hers as he flashed a smug grin, connecting his lips again with his beer.

-Maybe? But it wouldn’t be too polite to think of another girl right now, wouldn’t it be?

He retorted while leaning slightly closer to the women next to him. Her eyes trailed on his body and his lips, before she looked away while rolling her eyes.

-Oh, give me a break Ace. Why aren’t you making a move on her already?

-Its complicated, alright? She isn’t so easy to figure out.

-She seems pretty easy to figure out though, you’re just a blind man like most.

-Huh??

He expressed with confusion with a cocked eyebrow.

-If you are only unsure about her feelings towards you, go for it and ask her, because otherwise shes attracted to you for sure.

She continued with an obvious tone that made Ace scoff. It wasn’t that simple. He knew that, but how can he easily admit to himself or to anyone, that bearing being rejected was unthinkable for him. It was probably an ego thing, but deep down his relation with love in general was blurry.

He loved your fun personality and the way you carry yourself. He thought you were the prettiest women alive and probably the one for him in this sea filled with thousands of other faces. It was simply hard for him to be honest with you. You that seemed to have life somewhat figured out and laughed like there was nothing to worry about in the future. He felt so distant but close to you, yearning to get to know you beyond the vibe that you purposely give off. Were you weak like him at times too? He wanted to know but if you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, he knew your friendship will take a hit too.

-I will see about that

He replied with a nonchalant tone to hide his inner dilemma that didn’t totally go unnoticed by Enya. It was clear he hoped to close the conversation with this vague statement, but she had something else in mind.

She scouts closer to him, leaning her upper body against his tan arm. Breast brushing his bicep as his nose filled with her perfume. Her fingernails resting on his right pecks as her warm breath hit his neck. Her lips closing up the distance with his ear after she left a kiss on his neck.

-Then what baby? Gonna fuck me while you think of her, use me to make her jealous until you figure out your feelings, make me cum while you whisper her name under your breath, mmmh?

She cooed before leaning back and watch the stain on his neck left by her red lipstick. She smirked before grabbing her blue drink, still holding Aces surprised but lustful gaze. She wrapped her lips around the straw while tilting her head slightly to the side with a devious smile.

His lips parted to say something, before a familiar voice left him even more speechless.

-I would like a Mojito, please~

This familiar voice that made him feel butterfly in his stomach, that voice that was suffocating his thoughts with feelings he couldn’t process. You were standing just next to him, in a short and revealing dress, a colour complimenting your skin tone perfectly, with simple jewelries and hair partially up.

Your eyes found his, but you had witnessed the whole scene. He seemed to realize as his pupils shift nervously while his body is turning completely in your direction. You stare at him up and down with a cold expression.

You grabbed your cocktail and left with a last look filled with disappointment and maybe hurt? But Ace couldn’t quit understand the situation. His body froze as he watched you walk away, joining Livia and the other member of the crew on a table not too far.

-Go after her.

He heard from Enya, a sentence delivered with a bored tone. He looked over his shoulder to stare at her.

-What? Why wo-

-Ace if you don’t fucking do this, you will ruin everything. So go after her and put your pride aside, omg.

She concluded while pushing his shoulder with a mischievous smile that brought more confusion to him than anything else. Ace stood up and looked nervously back to the table. He saw you laugh with Marco, while waving your hand at Livia who was leaving.

-Don’t forget to thank me later~

She somewhat yelled at him, while Ace was building his confidence up to appear as if nothing happened.

Well nothing happened, anyway.

He didn’t owe you to not flirt or have sex with another women. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his.

Ace found a place next to Izou who shot him a “you fucked up man” stare.

-What are y’all eating?

He tried to ask casually avoiding the shift of atmosphere as he sat down across from you. You didn’t even acknowledge him and kept talking with Marco.

-Nothing for you! If you want food, go order yours, because we won’t have any left for us with your big stomach, Thatch joked with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around his younger brother neck.

Ace chuckled as he stole a fry from the cook’s plate, earning him a quick hit from him on his arm. He laughed even more, forgetting about the small incident, before Vista decided to throw a teasing comments, definitely not reading the room.

-I saw you were already flirting with ladies, Ace! You bastard, you’re always up someone skirt when we land somewhere!

He laughed while more commanders joined him , adding that he was popular with the girls with his good look. The fire user uncomfortably shifted on his chair as he let an awkward chuckle. His eyes naturally searched for yours, but you were avoiding him once again. Your expression was never more serious than right now, as you simply reached for a shrimp. You commented that they tasted great at Izou who nodded agreeing.

He noticed how Haruta nudged Vista hinting him to shut up as he pointed at you with his eyes. Vista’s face dropped as he understood the situation and tried to make it better, but failed miserably..

-But! We know Ace is a real man at heart..A gentleman who knows how to take care of a women’s he-

-What do y’all think about the fries? I feel like it could use some more seasoning.

Marco cut him off as the table became awkwardly silence with confused look thrown at each other. Ace sighed happy that the first division commander cut him off.

He needed to talk to you, it was the conclusion he came to. This situation between you and him couldn’t continue like that. Lucky him, you decided to stood up, saying that you wanted more of the shrimps. His eyes followed you, but you left the place under his concerned gaze.

He followed you ignoring how his fellow commanders cheered him on. He had a quick run outside the place and saw you outside sat on a long chair, removing your heels.

The early night was set, the moon light glittering over your skin. The smooth breeze brushing hour hair. You were backfacing him. He walked closer to you and was shocked to hear a muffled sound that sounded like you were crying. His heart dropped, making him stop walking.

-What do you want Ace?

You asked in a weak voice, not verifying if it was truly him who was there.

-I..I wanted to speak to you

He let out in an almost silent whisper, just loud enough for you to hear. He didn’t know why, but he felt so disappointed in himself. Was he the reason why you were crying? He made the person he likes tear up? His insecurities flowing through his veins, Ace found himself naturally taking a step back. Was he taking a step back from you, or from the evident thoughts of risking to lose love in another way once again?

-Ace?

You called out his name while your head titled slightly up, staring at the stars that you spend so much time studying. He loved how smart and passionated you are about astronomy. He hummed as an answer, eyes on your figure.

-How do you feel about me?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 42

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Almost lost this chapter bc my computer went nuts.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You hit delete chat in the conversation settings. You leave it just as blank as before and close out the app. Just like Dr. Kemp said to. He can’t be there right away but he has a better plan. You’re not good at those anyway.

All you have to do now is wait out Andy. He’ll be going to work come morning and you’ll be alone. Then you can take your things, the things that are really yours, and leave. Finally. You realise that’s exactly what you’ve been longing for. A way out.

The hard part is still ahead of you. Freedom is still just out of reach. You have to pretend that everything’s fine but you’re realising, you’ve been doing that for a while.

You shake off your nerves and roll the tears back behind your eyes. You can cry later. Even as your cheeks strain and your nose tingles, you resist. Not yet, not yet.

You finish tidying up the tablet, trying to leave it as you found it. With not much else than your drawings. You close the cover and bring it with you as you turn off the lights and head upstairs. You sop up the mess in the bathroom and leave it dark. 

You hesitate to approach the bedroom. You hear Andy’s snores, low and steady. Your skin crawls. You enter and put the tablet on the small side table where you charge it. You hang the damp robe and face the bed.

For the first time in your life, you want to hurt someone. You’re not afraid of being the one hurt. You really want to hit him and kick him and just let out your fury on him. You can’t and you won’t. You’re not who he told you you are. And you’re not strong enough for that. You’re still too small, too weak.

So you near the bed and climb under the covers. You move slowly as you pull the duvet to your chin. He snorts, making you wince, and sidles up behind you as he wraps his arm around you. You go rigid but fight through the ice that threatens to encase you. He can’t know, he can’t know.

“Mmm, where were you?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Had a bath,” you squeak, putting your hand over his. You want to rip him away but instead, you squeeze, holding him tighter. “Sorry.”

“Nmph,” he grumbles and nuzzles your crown, just as quickly drifting back into his rhythmic snores.

You exhale little by little. You close your eyes but just as quickly open again. You know you won’t sleep. You can’t. Not with him as good as on top of you. Not knowing what awaits you in the morning. But mostly, not with that needling guilt in the nape of your neck.

Amber.

You betrayed your own sister. You treated her like a villain. You demonised her. You ostracised her. You left her!

You don’t know if she can ever forgive you. You can’t blame her for that. Worse, you don’t think you’d let her forgive you. You don’t deserve it.

You feel brittle as you bite down on your cheeks. No crying, not yet, you remind yourself. For once, you have to do things right. You have to follow through. It’s up to you now.

🕊️

“I didn’t know you could make crepes,” Andy smiles as he cuts into the roll, compote fruit and syrup oozing out.

You do your best to mirror him, making a show of nibbling away at your own food.

“I found a recipe,” you tap your tablet, not far from you.

“That’s great. You’re… doing better.”

“I’m trying,” you assure him, “I hope it doesn’t make you late for work.”

“Hm? Oh, no, breakfast with you is worth it,” he pops a bit into his mouth and hums. You regret not spitting in it, repulsed by the thought when it came to you, but now, not so much.

He can sit there and lie to you. It makes it easier for you to do the same. He’s been lying this entire time. Making you feel like you’re a problem. A burden. No, you were a thing to be used. To be exploited. He never liked you, the girl he calls dove, he only liked what he could get out of you. And he got off on it.

He took Amber from you. He did that. Yes, you’re stupid for falling for it but he knew what he was doing. He lied to you. And you know exactly how he did it. 

He took all that therapy and twisted it around on you. You wonder why he even bothers with Dr. Kemp when he’s not trying to change. More than the narcissist he branded your sister, he’s a psychopath. You found that on the internet too.

Bitter, angry, hateful. You’ve never felt this way before. You’ve never truly loathed anyone. Not even your grandfather. His fists were nothing compared to Andy’s emotional battering.

“Well, don’t let it get too cold. They get gummy,” you force a smile, only fed by the thought of what comes after. Of what you’re going to do when he leaves.

Run.

🕊️

When Andy leaves, you’re in the kitchen tidying up. You left all the dishes in a stack to make a convincing show for him. You’ll be busy all day scouring the skillet and the fruit stuck to the inside of the pot, along with your plates and the cutlery. Oh and the mess you made of the counters.

The door closes but you don’t break your charade right away. You give it ten minutes. Fifteen, just to be sure. Then you tiptoe down the hall and look out the window. The tire tracks are already snowed over. 

You don’t hesitate. You’ve never been more certain of anything in your life. This is your chance. You spin and race upstairs. 

You search the closet and the dresser, everywhere for the bag you brought there. It’s gone. Along with all the clothes from your old life. All that was you. Andy took them along with everything else.

Whatever. You grab a few pieces of the more practical slant; turtlenecks, some leggings, a pair of jeans. Socks and underwear. You work quickly, with intent. Just enough to get out, not a lot. Not too much. As little as you can. You don’t want to keep too much that will remind you of this place.

You rush back downstairs after you change. You grab your tablet and message Dr. Kemp, the chat log still blank. You delete each message once he responds. You can’t be too careful.

‘He’s gone. When can you get here?’

His reply isn’t long; ‘ten minutes, been waiting a block away.’

‘I’ll be outside.’

You close the cover of the tablet and stare at it. You hover it over the countertop but stop yourself. No, you earned this. It’s yours. Andy never did pay you for the painting. Not in full.

You hug the tablet and go to retrieve the bag you found in the front closet. A tote bag with faded floral print. You don’t wonder where it came from. You don’t want to think too hard about him or this place. They’ll soon be long gone.

You pull on your boots and your coat. That’s all he’s left you of your former existence. You don’t suspect you would have them for much longer if you stay. You shudder and grip the fabric handles of the bag.

You open the front door and step out into the drift. The snow floats down in fluffy flakes. As you step off the porch, it collects on your lashes. You make slow progress, lifting your knees high as the unshoveled walk makes each step a task. As you come up to the curb, a distant rumble comes from down the avenue.

You shield your eyes against the steady snowfall and squint. You think it’s Dr. Kemp. You’re not sure. When you saw his car, it was dark and you were more focused on other things.

He rolls down the snow-carpeted road cautiously and pulls in the next driveway before turning around and coming up along the curb. He grins at you through the passenger window and the doors unlock with a loud thunk. You grab the handle and pull.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m here. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Thanks, doctor, I… thank you. I…”

“You sounded scared, how could I say no?”

You nod and look over your shoulder at the house.

“Let me deal with Andy when the time comes,” he insists, “come on, it’s hell out here. Get in.”

You nod and haul your bag onto the floor ahead of you and put the tablet on top. You stop yourself before you release the device. You look at Dr. Kemp. He stares.

“You alright?” He asks.

“I forgot something,” you say as you let go of the tablet. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll be two minutes,” you hold up as many fingers, “promise.”

“I trust you, sweetheart,” he assures with a smile, “I’ll be here.”

You take and breath and close the passenger door gently. You whip around and stumble back up the walk, stepping into the holes you left on your way out. You burst inside, not carrying for the melting snow you leave in your stead or the undone dishes, or anything about this place. There’s only one last thing that needs to be done.

You take the stairs two at a time as you complete your final chore. You barrel back down and don’t bother with a final goodbye as you head back out. For once, you feel accomplished. Like you’ve done something and you don’t give a heck what Andy feels.

You don’t look back, you just keep going. You falter but not from doubt, only the snow. You get back to the car and rip the door open, climbing in with a heave. You fall into the seat as you snap the door shut. You lean your head back and sigh.

“I’m ready to go now,” you say.

“Great,” he shifts into gear, “put your seat belt on, sweetheart, the roads are awful.”

You do as he says as you catch your breath. Your skin is buzzing from more than just the cold. You fold your hands as you try to settle your nerves. 

“Good girl,” Dr. Kemp praises, “we’ll be home soon.”

🕊️

It’s real once you walk through the front door. You look around at the home decor and nearly fall apart. The stringent, almost sterile walls of Andy’s house haunt you. It’s only then, with something to compare them to, that you realise how much you dreaded them. How much you despised them.

You look around and take in every inch. The brown leather bench beside the door, a tall coat rack on the other side of the entryway, a mat for your snow laden boots, and a runner rug with the honey coloured curlicues on a deeper shade of brown. There’s a faint smell of cedar in the air.

“Ann made up the guest room for you,” he says, “and the kids are at school so they shouldn’t be a bother.”

You stop short, your hands on the collar of your coat. You look at him, dull with shock. Your cheeks tremble as you gulp.

“Ann… your…”

“My wife, yeah,” he says coolly, “she’s excited to meet you.”

“She is?” You blink, “I uh…” your eyes flit all around, “I’m so sorry, this isn’t–”

“It’s fine,” he intones, “really. She understands how vulnerable some of them a safe space.”

It’s like a slap in the face. You don’t know what you expected or why you expected it. He’s your doctor, you’re his patient, a crazy person. How did you forget that?

You glance down at his hand, his left hand. There’s a gold ring on his finger. It wasn’t there before. Not in your sessions, not at Thanksgiving. Never. Why wasn’t he with his family during the holidays?

“I thought I heard the door,” a woman appears from the other end of the hall, “oh, this must be her.”

You bat your lashes, fighting to hold yourself together. Don’t cry yet. 

“Uh, hi,” you squeak as she struts down the hall.

“Hello, hon,” the tall blonde pulls you into a hug as you cower.

“Ann,” Kemp clears his throat.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I forget–” she lets you go, “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

You only shake your head. Your eyes are dry and itchy. You can only look back at her before slowly glancing at Steve. Your cheeks twinge and your lips pinch. He never told you about her. Why would he?

You feel like your chest is empty. There’s an icy whirlwind inside of you, flowing through you, sending a shiver up your spine. This is the worst thing you've ever felt. What is it?

“Ann,” Kemp says, “she's had a long night.”

“Oh, of course, you take her up to the guest room,” she backs off, “you take your time, hon, do whatever you need to do.”

You nod and mouth a thank you, unable to get any noise out. She goes back the way she came and you turn, focusing on undoing your coat. What have you done?

“I guess I should've warned you, huh? What with your… issues,” he rubs the back of his neck. “Just let me know if it gets too crowded around here.”

“Okay,” you croak.

You bend to wiggle free of your boots. You don't know what to do. You just want to be alone.

He leads you through the house. Into a cozy front room and to a staircase curled up to the second floor. You follow behind him, the tote bag dangling from your grasp.

He opens a door as he faces you. You try to hide your emotions but you can barely keep from frowning. He rests his hand on the door frame.

“This is you. I'm down at the very end,” he points over his shoulder, “if you need anything…”

“I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? For…”

“Coming here.”

“Sweetheart, I wouldn't say yes if it was a problem,” he coos as he reaches to caress your shoulder, “I wouldn't be a very good doctor if I don't make sure my patients are safe, huh?”

“I guess not,” you murmur.

“Look, you just get yourself situated. Try to relax. I know a lot's happened but you're strong. You can do this,” he leans in, “I believe in you.”

He kisses your forehead and you wince. His hand goes to your chin as he pulls away. You stare up at him.

“I meant it when I said you're special,” he hums.

“I…” you turn your head away from him, slipping free, “I need to lay down.”

“Sure,” he smirks and drops his hand, “I'll check in when I can.”

You turn into the bedroom, slouching through as you sense him behind you. You feel him watching, as if waiting for something. You refuse to look back.

“Just relax, sweetheart,” he purrs, “you're exactly where you need to be.”

The door shuts and you gasp as the bag falls from your hand. What does he mean?

[littledollll]

The simple things

Larissa Weems x Reader

A/n: *Drops this and runs away never to be seen for another hundred years*

Honorable mentions to @pebbleswritessometimes who seems to be involved in the writing process of literally everything I do😭

Absolutely no warnings, just a little kiss and a bunch of fluff

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Life had never been better. A simple, happy, mundane life with the love of your life… That’s your first thought every morning. You didn’t need anything extravagant, you didn’t want anything complicated. It was just this simple, perfect life.

You woke every morning wrapped in your lover’s arms, your head close to her chest, arms around her waist. The alarm would sound out announcing it was time to wake up, get ready for another day.

Larissa would kiss the top of your head and gently pull away from you, of course you were awake, she knew that. But she wanted you to stay restful for at least another moment. And her routine began. She’d shower before anything, then walk into the room with that gorgeous white silk robe of hers, and pick out an outfit for the day.

By now you’ve opened your eyes, like you always do just to watch her come in, she knew that too. Your opinion was always wanted and appreciated, so you watched as she picked out three dresses to choose between, and moved on to the shoes.

“The green one… makes your eyes look even prettier.” You quietly mumbled, still snuggled into bed but paying attention. She’d give you a hum in approval with that honeyed little tone of hers, which made you want to jump out of bed and crash your lips to hers, but you didn’t, of course.

“Black, 3 inches.” The shoes. You love how she looks in heels, but of course they can’t be too tall, there’s a dress code even for the principal. And finally, her soft morning voice came, “thank you, darling..” it always made your cheeks flush red, because she’d look at you with nothing but love, and a little bit of a teasing smile. Oh she knew.

A surge of pure joy just ran up your spine. God you were so inlove with this woman. Like a schoolgirl with a crush. Even now, being married, living together for years, you had a crush on this woman. She’d make you blush red, have you giggling and hiding into the pillows of your shared bed. You had to give yourself a moment to breathe or you’d pass out right now and not get to watch her get dressed.

You let out a heavy, dreamy sigh. And Larissa once again looked back at you with a smile, a knowing smile, a sweet and soft smile. You watched as she delicately slipped on her tights, and then her dress, moving closer to the bed so you could zip her up.

Okay, now it’s time to sit up. So you did, first running your hands almost soothingly down her back, giving her a few soft kisses before you actually zipped up the dress. “Oh you tease..” oh that playful little voice of hers. “Always a pleasure, my love.” You were quick to reply, sitting up on your knees so you could place another soft kiss on her shoulder... and then the back of her neck as you carefully moved her hair to the opposite shoulder. And then her cheek.

“I love you.” She murmured, but there was certainty in her tone, there was love and appreciation. And you went all red again, hugging her tightly from behind. “I love you too.” It was merely a whisper, one she most definitely heard. And you reluctantly let her go so she could start on her makeup.

You decided to actually start your day now. Setting off to do your own morning routine, and in about 40 minutes there was a fresh cup of coffee placed on her vanity. She let out a soft hum of appreciation, concentrating on lining her lips just right. She took a quick sip before putting on her lipstick, and you couldn’t help but lean down and place a soft kiss on her beautifully colored lips. “Perfect..” you complimented, and she was quick to bite back, “and transfer proof, thankfully.”

You placed yourself behind her, watching her through the mirror as she was lost in her little process. “..can I do your hair today?” Larissa Weems was a perfectionist when it came to her hair, but she let you indulge with a mere nod, and took out all the things necessary from one of the drawers.

You immediately got to work, brushing gently through her hair for much longer than needed. You knew she loved it when you played with her hair, so you took just a moment to pamper her a little more before you started styling it. She obviously approved of it, since when you looked back at her through the mirror you saw her eyes closed with delight.

“you’re beautiful…” you whispered as you watched her, and you could see a smile graze her lips, and her eyes open again as you started styling her hair. You wouldn’t believe the amount of hairpins and ties it took to get her signature style perfect if you hadn’t been one to take every last one off yourself at the end of the night. You wondered why she liked it so much, knowing it obviously had to hurt at least a little… but to some degree you get it. It’s professional, it looks beautiful on her, and it stays out of her face and on all day for someone as busy as her.

As you were all done you watched her check every possible angle and finally give you a smile when she was done revising. “Perfect?” You asked a little nervously, She stood to her full height and tilted your chin up for another sweet kiss, “Perfect.”

[jackhues]

can you do a blurb of sidney meeting bee for the first time

ooh i'd love to! i hope you guys like this :)

buttercup's world! au masterlist

sidney couldn't feel his hand.

his baby momma was in labour and in the process of turning his hand into mush. he didn't even know it was possible to grip something that tight, but of course, pain made people much stronger than they were sometimes.

and giving birth was not an easy process.

he'd been in the delivery room for a few hours, driving the child of his mother here the second she called to let him know her water broke. her parents weren't in contact with her, but sidney's parents were waiting at home. waiting for sidney to call and tell them their grandchild was here.

"i can't do this, i - i don't want to do this," she cried, shaking her head.

"you're so close, just one more push, come on," the doctor encouraged her. "you got this, one big push."

sidney smoothed her hair back, "hey, you're so close. it's almost over, i promise. just one more, and then the baby's going to be here."

sidney and his baby mom weren't in a relationship, they hadn't been in one for months now. their relationship itself was pretty short-lived, but sidney knew she was in pain and she didn't to be alone right now.

considering it was kind because of him she was here, he knew the least he could do was be there for in whatever way she needed. and right now, she needed someone there for her emotionally.

so that's what he was going to do.

"it's almost over," she repeated, nodding her head slightly.

at the doctor's cue, she took a deep breath, pushing once again. sidney wrapped his other hand around the one that was crushing one of his, encouraging her.

at the sound of a small cry, he gasped, turning his head to see the doctors and nurses holding a small baby. before he even understood what was happening, the nurses wiped the infant, rubbing quickly.

the baby's cries grew louder, a part of sidney breaking at that sound. but then the umbilical cord was cut, and the baby was placed on mom, a blanket over them both.

"congratulations," one of the doctors said to sidney. "it's a girl. let's give mom and baby a few minutes, i need you to fill out a few forms first."

sidney nodded numbly, his brain moving a little slower than he was used to. he just saw his daughter being born, she was right there. he was a dad, he was her dad.

somehow, sidney found himself in an office, a few forms in front of him.

"what's this?" he asked.

"well, mom told us you were giving up parental rights and were simply going to pay child support," doctor started. "since that was decided before birth, we need you to fill these out immediately after birth. that way, you can avoid complications later on."

sidney stared at the papers, realizing how close he was to just... giving up the right to having his daughter. a simple signature, he'd signed lots of things before, and he'd never have to worry about her. nothing beyond the money he'd be giving away monthly.

but for some reason, the pen felt incredibly heavy.

sidney looked up at the doctor, "is there any way we can put this off for now? i just - i mean, i just had my kid. i want, i want some time to think this over."

the doctor nodded, "you can choose to do this at any time. doing it right now would simply be the most effective and simple way. you can do it later, but be ready for a longer legal process."

"thanks doctor."

sidney made his way back to the room where mom and the baby were, finding mom half asleep and the baby in the crib.

he made his way over, peering inside and finding a small bundle, wrapped in a pink blanket and a matching little hat. her eyes were closed, long lashes leaning against her cheeks as she slept soundly.

she was perfect.

"you can hold her, you know?" the nurse spoke to sidney. "do you need help?"

"thanks, i'm - i can hold her," he assured her. he had a little sister, he had younger cousins.

he didn't remember being this nervous to hold them.

were they this small as well?

reaching into the crib, sidney took the little girl into his arms, her head fitting perfectly in the crook of his elbow. she scrunched up in the blanket, causing sidney's eyes to widen.

"shh, it's okay my princess," he whispered softly, rocking her in his arms. "i've got you. daddy's got you. you're okay, my love."

slowly, she relaxed in his arms, comforted by the sound of his voice. sidney smiled a little, continuing to talk, letting his baby know that she was safe, and that she'd always have someone to love her.

slowly, she cracked an eye open, and then another, looking up at her dad for the first time.

sidney froze in his tracks, feeling like he'd just been sucker punched. her big hazel eyes matched his perfectly, her hand wriggling under the blanket to try and get free.

sidney took that hand out, tearing up a little as she wrapped her tiny hands around his finger, squeezing tightly as if asking him to stay. sidney pressed a kiss to her hand, tucking it back in the blanket and rocking her.

she yawned, blinking a few times, before turning her head towards sidney and closing her eyes once again.

he took a seat on the couch, overwhelmed by everything that had just happened. he pressed a soft kiss to his little girl's forehead, knowing one thing for sure.

he wasn't going to leave her.

---

tags: @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme , @svechnikovvv ,  @hockeyboysarehot , @mysticaldonkey ,  @lam-ila ,  @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @kjohnson-91  , @moldenhauers, @hischierdevils, @jackhughesily , @panarin10 , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @nowandkei , @cinnamonpancakes ,  @mitchymainer ,  @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 , @emsully2002  ,  @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94, @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj , @fandom-oneshots-etc , @ajbird18 , @cherrysodadevils , @cixrosie , @iikximii , @xcicix , @wbkz3gras , @cole-mcward48 , @starjoyyy , @eagerkya , @idontlikelizards , @trevzeags11 , @al-lie-cat , @kjohnson-91 , @bitchy55 , @privatemythss

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[ravendruid]

Hi 👋 I would love to see Vaxleth in number 27 kissing in the rain 💛 I love your writing so much btw

Hii!!! Thank you so much for sending a prompt! :D I hope you like it as much as I do ^_^ (And thank you for the compliment :D :D :D)

A Kiss In The Rain

(Read on AO3)

Rain is fun until it isn’t and, at this point, Vax’ildan is getting fed up of the second day of pouring outside. He wants to get out of this stuffy, snobby, much-too-large castle where he feels like he’s being watched at every moment of the day, which he probably is, considering his stomach can’t growl without a servant immediately coming over with a tray of food.

It doesn’t help that everyone he wants to hang out with is locked in the workshop with Percival, going over sketches, doing calculations, and planning things that are far more complicated than what Vax’s brain can comprehend. It sucks that both his sister and his girlfriend instantly bury themselves with work whenever they visit. 

“Mr. Vax’ildan?” A young maid calls his attention. Vax rolls his eyes at the title and looks over his shoulder, decided to give her a word or two about calling him that, but then he sees she is holding a piece of folded parchment and nods instead. “This is for you,” She says, handing the paper.

“From whom?” Vax asks, politely as he takes hold of it. He recognizes the feel of the parchment from the same in Percival’s sketch book. If this is a summons to that stuffy, smoldering workshop… 

“Miss Keyleth, sir,” The maid replies. The title, again, makes Vax’s stomach roil. Why would Keyleth send him a written note through a maid when she can just call him on the earring?

“Thank you,” Vax nods, then leaves the maid behind. 

The note is simple and effective—Meet me at the Widow’s Garden, right now—but it doesn’t answer any more of Vax’s questions. Nonetheless, Vax still obeys because that’s his super-powerful druid girlfriend who can call lightning, and he’s not sure she won’t do just that if he fails to show up when she summons him.

“Keyleth?” Vax calls as he transposes the unlocked iron gate. The garden has had better days, but Vax knows Keyleth has been working with Percy to fix it. “Is there a reason why you called me to meet you out here? It’s fucking pouring, love.” He calls again, to no response.

Vax wanders around for a minute or two, looking in every nook and cranny for the familiar flaming red hair of his girlfriend or for any out-of-place animals, but he doesn’t see anything. He’s almost determined to head back to the castle when he hears a twig snapping behind him.

“Who’s there?” He holds two daggers out in front of him, ready to face the threat.

“Relax, Vax. You know I could snap you in two before you even flung that thing at me,” Keyleth mocks him. She’s not totally wrong. 

“Hey,” Vax greets her. He allows his shoulders to sag with relief and stores the daggers back in their belt. He sees her now, so beautiful and soaked to the bone, just like he is. Her beautiful teal dress sticks to her skin, hugging all her curves, which makes Vax smirk as he lets his gaze wander to her chest.

“My eyes are up here,” Keyleth hooks her finger under Vax’s jaw to bring his face back up. She’s smiling knowingly, a smile she always gives him when she catches him adoring her—which happens way too often.

“Not my fault you wanted to meet in the rain,” Vax shrugs. He wraps his arms around her waist and laces his fingers at her back. Keyleth does the same around his neck. “Why, though? I’m soaked and miserable, and I’m gonna smell like a wet dog.”

“I’ll dry you up, don’t worry,” She smiles. Vax could get lost in her smile. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen—correction, Keyleth is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. “I figured you were bored up there and you needed to get some air.”

“In the rain?”

Keyleth nods. Vax holds his breath when she leans her forehead down to his and closes her eyes. He feels her breath in deeply, as if she’s trying to commit the scent of him in the rain to memory, then exhale. “I–I wanted to do something,” She mumbles, allowing Vax to hear the sound of insecurity in her voice. It’s only with him that Keyleth lets down the mask and allows herself to feel and talk about her insecurities, which Vax appreciates. He believes in her more than he has ever believed in anyone, so he knows she can be confident and strong, but Keyleth still needs reassurance once in a while, and he’s glad he’s there to give her that when she needs it the most.

“In the Widow’s Garden, in pouring rain?” Vax teases her by wiggling his eyebrows. 

“W–what? No! Vax!” Keyleth scolds him playfully. “It’s not t–that!”

“Alright, then, what is it, love? Should I be worried you’re attempting to kill me, then?” Vax keeps teasing his girlfriend until she gives him a shaky smile. 

“I wanted to do this,” Keyleth ends up saying, more confident, and then she places her hands on the back of Vax’s head and brings him in for a kiss. 

When the shock at the intensity of the kiss passes, Vax fully embraces his half-elf druid girlfriend, raising a hand to steady her back as he responds by deepening the kiss. His blood feels like fire at the feel of Keyleth’s body pressed against him, but not the kind of fire that usually makes them end up tangled in bed. No, this fire is different. This is a fire that makes Vax think about the future with Keyleth, to imagine the days of following her on her work trips; of her coming home to a hot, homemade meal and a nice, relaxing bath; of the tiny freckled, red-haired babies Vax would love to have with her one day. It’s a fire that makes him want to get on his knees and ask Keyleth to be truly, wholly his forever, to take him to be truly, wholly hers forever.

But the kiss ends and Vax regrets having to come back from his reverie. Yet, there is a different shine to Keyleth’s beautiful green eyes, a shine that lights a flame of hope inside of Vax that maybe, just maybe, Keyleth felt the same way he did just now, that one day she will take him by the hand and ask him to stay, because they both know that it is her step to take, not his. 

“Are you still angry at me for making you come out here in the rain?” Keyleth asks, fondly caressing his face.

“I could never be angry at you, Kiki. Never.”

Vax kisses her again, and again, and again. They stand kissing in the pouring rain until the clouds part and Vex’ahlia and Percival find them soaked but happy, with blushing faces, and once Keyleth dries them off with a touch of her magic and they join the other couple in the dining room, Vax thinks that, maybe after all, this castle isn’t that bad. As long as Vax has Keyleth at his side and his twin is happy in the arms of the man she loves, Vax knows they will be alright.

[she-who-paints-with-fire]

FOUR WORDS

The titanium-composite battle plate softly clicked into place, and Lux ran the strap around her thigh, then cinched it down tight enough to still have bloodflow without the plate moving about. Then she leaned down and clicked the two-piece greaves into place, securing them tight on her shin.

Beside her, the woman she'd spent the night with rolled over and mumbled something.

"Repeat your last, lovergirl?"

"Whuhsswiththuhharmor?"

Lux finished clicking her other greave into place and leaned over to give the worried girl a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't worry about it."

"Mmmgh. Dodging the question..." the girl grumbled, raising their head and rubbing their eyes, smudging last night's makeup in the process. Lux hummed quietly as she pressed her pistol holster to her thigh and wound the straps around her leg and belt.

The girl pawed at Lux's shoulder. "Answer meeeeee," she whined, doing her best puppydog eyes.

"You won't like it."

"Hmph."

Lux slipped on her torso armour, tightening straps and fastening clips, sliding her karambit into its dedicated chest holster before strapping on her shirt's armour plating, starting with the pauldrons that clicked into place on her bodyglove before being strapped down. Sure, SSC, Harrison Armory, and IPS-N all sold more advanced armour systems—Sylph undersuits, or silicone carbide nanoweave shirts with magnetic attachment points for extra armour plating, for instance—but Lux had never seen any point in complicating a simple system like that. GMS-standard, DoJ/HR-issued paracord straps and heat-treated titanium-composite plating with a mesh antispalling layer was perfectly adequate for her.

She went to put on the second pauldron and felt the woman she'd slept with tonight resting her chin on that shoulder.

"Do you really need to go, soldier girl? Can't you stay?" Evidently, her lover had figured out that she was putting on her hardsuit.

"Not this time, babe," Lux replied, turning to give her a quick kiss. The lady frowned, looking at Lux with big puppy eyes that were so, so difficult to resist.

"What if something happens?"

Lux had made peace with that eventuality a long time ago, but it broke her heart to see the worry lining her lover's face, welling in her eyes, straining her heart. "Well, then something happens."

"You could die!"

"I can risk that," Lux shrugged. If she died, she died—Christ the Buddha knew she'd killed enough people to probably deserve it. "Think of the upsides."

The woman bit her lip, unsure and probably scared. "I'm not seeing them."

"More lives to save." Lux tapped the crest on her shoulder, denoting her status as a combat medic, right before she finished strapping on the second pauldron and tightening it until it felt snug. She then slipped on the armoured bracers and tightened those, checking that the uplink with Dawn Always Comes was still functional. A return ping from its TLALOC-class NHP, SACRED SYMBOL, confirmed that it was.

"I'll be safe, love," Lux murmured, slipping off the bed and placing her pistol in the holster, then securing it.

"I love you," the woman whispered. "Be safe."

"I love you too," Lux replied, wrapping her camouflage scarf around her neck before slipping on her gloves, tightening them, and then donning her helmet, waiting as the full Heads-Up Display activated.

The woman on the bed gathered the blankets around her and hugged a pillow as Lux left, heading for where her mech was stored. Right before she stepped across the doorframe, Lux looked back.

"You'll see me again," she promised.

Both women tried to ignore that sinking feeling that they wouldn't.

[nkn0va]

Request(Blazblue): On the day of their birthday's Makoto, Noel, Tsubaki, and Mai's S/O's back them their favorite dishes (Mai's S/O even asking Noel to help them cook for her).

I am so sorry if this gets repetitive, that's kinda how it goes sometimes for 4 character requests. Probably gonna be a bit shorter than usual.

-It doesn't take much to figure out what kind of food Makoto likes. Not only does her heritage make it pretty obvious but she's also quite the foodie in general.

-She doesn't have any particular favorite food but she is a big sweets gal, and of course being a squirrel, nuts are a personal favorite of hers. There are plenty of dishes out there that meet both those criteria, you have options.

-Eventually the idea you decided on was a chestnut parfait. Sweet, easy to make, had nuts, and had fruits to make it at least somewhat healthy. The perfect plan.

-When lunch eventually rolls around you head up to Makoto and present it to her while wishing her a happy birthday. Her mouth almost starts to water right then and there.

-She scarfs it down at record speeds that are frankly a bit concerning. She certainly enjoyed it though judging by her smile and the way her tail couldn't seem to stop wagging.

-As soon as she's done her arms wrap around you immediately in an enthusiastic showing of thanks. She's absolutely going to ask you for more in the future.

-Noel's not too much of a foodie, she absolutely prefers to cook instead of eat, much to everyone's dismay.

-However her birthday happens to fall on Christmas, so you have as good of an excuse as any to make something for her. A traditional Christmas dish could fulfill your needs well.

-You spend hours toiling away in the kitchen, making a nice, full meal for the both of you to enjoy. You figured it'd be a nice thing to do for both of you since work in the NOL has left you both unfortunately unable to go home for Christmas.

-Mercifully, your workload is at least greatly lightened for the day if not outright eliminated entirely. As soon as you're done with what little you have to do and evening comes you invite Noel over to your place, not telling her the reason.

-The first thing Noel is met with is a table filled with steaming hot food, leaving her unable to hold back her shock that you'd go so far for her.

-She doesn't know whether to kiss you or dig right in, however her nervousness gets the best of her and she opts to go for the food, which is by no means a bad choice. The effort and love you put into it really shines through.

-Mission success. Now all that's left is to pray to whatever God will listen that she doesn't get the urge to return the favor...

-Tsubaki is a sucker for chocolate, as much as she tries not to let it get to her. It gets to the point that Jin of all people worries about her in this regard.

-Her birthday just so happens to coincidentally fall on White Day, so you'd likely already be getting her chocolate anyway. The problem is having both occasions on the same day sorta ups the pressure on your part to perform.

-You eventually decided the best way to fill the criteria for both was via chocolate cake. You didn't want just some simple, easy cake from a box anyone could make, you knew she deserved better.

-Then you had an epiphany. You could indeed churn out something worthy of such a lovely lady. After spending a good amount of time in the kitchen you end up with a chocolate cake sweetened with condensed milk along topped with caramel and whipped cream. Surely this would pay off.

-Tsubaki's eyes light up as soon as she sees the fruits of your hard labor, even more so once she takes the first bite. She is practically in heaven. It felt like she was falling for you all over again.

(Can't believe it took this long to finally write for Mai. Though I'm writing this last minute on late night April 21st so what can you do lmao)

-It's rather tough for you to pin down what sort of food Mai would like considering her...complicated relationship with food.

-Whatever you do see her eat, it's completely mangled beyond recognition by whatever the hell Noel does whenever she cooks. You don't know, and frankly you don't think you want to.

-However this is going to turn out to be a nice boon for a change. Not being able to cook for Mai was a serious point of grief for you due to her supertaste, but with Noel around you can finally do so. She immediately agrees to the plan.

-After some discussion about what she typically makes for Mai and what she seems to like best, you two decide on a seafood pilaf. You'd make the base since you wanted to contribute at least something to the dish, and let Noel take it from there.

-Frankly it's a bit scary, leaving her with a perfectly normal dish and then getting it back looking like a weapon of mass destruction. This weapon of mass destruction though was all Mai could eat so you really can't complain. (Not complaining about Noel's cooking...what the hell have you come to...?)

-Mai's grin is practically ear to ear as she eagerly eats everything down, especially once she hears that both you and Noel worked on the dish. As far as she's concerned this is the best damn thing she's ever eaten, thanking you both with a big smile and hug. Being able to eat after what happened is always a treat.

-You still have no idea what Noel does to any food she touches to make it end up the way it does, but perhaps it's one of those mysteries that's just best left unsolved.

[becoming-the-bridgertons]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒚 | 𝒗𝒊. 𝑶𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆

pairings. violet ledger x ellie bridgerton

summary. violet grows increasingly uncomfortable as she gets closer to her due date

word count. 3.1K

warnings. discussions of pregnancy complications

note. written in RP style by @lifesizehysteria and @shmaptainwrites

Violet had always heard about this part of pregnancy and wondered if it was really as bad as people made it out to be. Now that she was experiencing it, she realized how much people were downplaying it. 

Her stomach was so big she could no longer see her feet, at every turn her baby moved and writhed so much that you could see their movements through her skin; she thought it looked almost alien. Her feet were achy and barely fit into any of her shoes, her breasts were tender and sore to the touch, and her back made her feel like Atlas, holding up the heavens for all of eternity. 

She loved her baby, truly, but Violet was more than ready to meet them. 

She sat on the couch in the living room, her feet propped up on an ottoman, pillows behind her and supporting her back while she rested her hands over her stomach like a table. 

“Dearest,” she sighed, murmuring to the baby. “I really need you to get a move on, okay? The doctor thinks you’re going to be late and Mummy really needs you here in her arms instead of, well, inside her.”

She knew it wasn’t her baby’s fault, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t sick of all of the symptoms.

Ellie walked into the living room just in time to hear Violet complain to the baby about overstaying her welcome. Such complaints were common these days, and Ellie really felt for her. The baby had ballooned in the last few weeks and, so far, showed no signs of dropping, which meant labor was still likely not in the immediate future. 

Leaning over the side of the couch, she placed a hand over Violet’s, then let her other stroke its way across the underside of her belly. The baby reacted to her touch, pushing out against her hand as it passed, making Violet wince. 

“Sorry,” she said to Violet, her face scrunching with guilt and sympathy. Then she turned towards her belly, putting her head down close to it. “Come, now, my flower. Be nice to Mummy. No more kicking, hmm?” She rubbed circles over the spot the baby had kicked to soothe away the ache. “That’s right. Poor Mummy has worked so hard to help you grow. We must be gentle.” When the baby kicked hard again, Ellie’s face grew stern and she leaned in closer, dropping her voice even further. “Alright, kiddo. Keep it up and you’re going to get evicted,” she threatened, if for no other reason than to try to draw a smile from her poor wife, but making sure to remove her hands from her stomach to ensure she caused no more kicks.

“Ellie,” Violet quietly whined. “It hurts to laugh, everything is so tight in there.”

She pointed to her belly and threw her head back on the couch, making the baby kick again. 

“At this rate I’m going to ground you before you’re even out of me,” Violet grumbled, clearly growing more frustrated. “And I'm so hungry I could eat a horse but I can’t bloody get up out of my seat!” 

She felt a little defeated and didn’t know what to do. She didn’t like not being able to do simple things for herself, but she supposed overall she was just tired. 

“I’m sorry, I won’t tease anymore,” Ellie promised before smoothing the wisps of hair away from Violet’s forehead so she could kiss it. She looked down at her wife whose face showed every ounce of exhaustion and frustration, and yet still remained as beautiful as ever. For a moment, she just wrapped her arms around Violet’s neck, letting her cheek rest on top of her head, her thumb rubbing back and forth across the back of her neck. “What would you like to eat, my love?” She could not take her pain or exhaustion away, and she could not make the baby come any sooner, but Ellie was nothing if not a problem solver, and food was an easy one to fix.

“Chocolate, peanut butter, and crisps. The plain ones, ripple cut,” she said immediately. 

More recently there had been a few more odd food combinations, mostly consisting of a normal combination plus something that made it abnormal. Ellie would always humour her and even try the combinations with her, but more often than not she thought they were quite disgusting. 

She held her stomach and looked down at the baby still moving about inside. 

“Maybe you’ll stop being a little prick if I give you chocolate,” she grumbled. “I love you, but right now you’re acting like a parasite.”

“You got it,” Ellie said, kissing Violet’s forehead once more. “Give me five minutes.”

She returned shortly, holding in one hand a ramekin of peanut butter that had been very briefly warmed into a semi-liquid state, topped with milk chocolate chips that got just a little bit soft and melted from the warm peanut butter. In the other she held a bag of the specified crisps, which had been a staple in the house for the last several weeks. This particular pregnancy craving, crisps dipped in peanut butter, had been going strong for a while and was one of the few that didn’t make Ellie’s stomach turn.

“Here you go,” she said, handing Violet the ramekin before sitting down beside her, the bag open on her lap, facing her wife. Her hand slipped beneath Violet’s belly so she could rest her hand on her thigh to offer a little bit of comfort without getting in her space too much.

Violet hummed in delight when the combination was finally in her mouth. She looked over thankfully to Ellie before continuing to dip the crisps in the peanut-chocolate dip. 

“This is so bloody good,” she said, covering her mouth as she spoke. “Do you want some, El?”

She offered the bag to her wife in case she was hungry, the dip resting on the top of her belly like a table. 

“Just one,” Ellie said, although they both knew one actually meant a few because it really was a surprisingly good combination. Popping a peanut butter dipped crisp into her mouth, she savored the sweet and salty combination and the slightly sticky texture mixed with the crunch. It was a deliciously indulgent experience.

After she had slowly eaten a few and Violet had eaten several more than a few, Ellie gently squeezed her thigh. “Any better?” she asked. Sometimes just a snack could turn Violet’s entire mood around, especially during her pregnancy, but lately that wasn’t always enough. But Ellie was willing to do anything in her means to help, as she always was for her Polka Dot.

“Getting a little full,” she sighed, moving the dip container from her stomach onto the end table next to her. 

She kicked her feet off of the ottoman and attempted to stand up, but needed a little help from Ellie getting there. Once she stood, she placed her hands on her back and tried to stretch it out, but it wasn’t quite hitting the mark that she was looking for. 

“It’s just so heavy,” she grumbled again. “Could you hold it up for me?” 

She motioned to her stomach. “Just to give my back a break for a minute?”

“Of course,” Ellie said, up from her spot before Violet even finished her request. She walked around the ottoman and positioned herself behind her wife. Bending slightly, she wrapped her arms around the underside of Violet’s belly, her hands splayed against it, and gently lifted until it felt like she was holding all the weight in her hands. 

Violet hummed and physically relaxed, feeling Ellie’s chest pressed up against her back, holding her up completely. 

“My love, you are a godsend,” she sighed, resting her head against her wife’s who now had her chin nestled in the crook of Violet’s shoulder. 

Of all of the things Ellie had done to help her over the course of the pregnancy, she would have to admit that this was her favourite. There was something uniquely intimate and caring about it, and she relished having her wife so close to her and the baby at the same time. In a way, it felt like the three of them were one. 

“You’re okay?” she double checked, knowing from experience how difficult it was to carry the weight. 

“Just fine,” Ellie assured her, nuzzling a little further into the crook of her neck and lifting again to make sure she wasn’t letting any of the weight go back to Violet. “Though, our little flower sure has gotten heavy. Christ,” she said with a laugh. “You tell me when you’re ready.” If Violet could carry this weight around all day everyday, Ellie could handle it for however long was necessary to offer her some relief. And she certainly didn’t mind the closeness she always felt when they did this. 

“I will, but Ellie, I’ve been thinking more about the birth,” Violet looked over at her wife from the side. “I know there was a certain way we were thinking of doing things, but maybe it’s a good idea to have options we’ve thought through in case that ends up not being a possibility? I don’t want us to be completely thrown for a loop if it happens, I mean, to the best of our abilities.” 

Violet placed her hands over Ellie’s which were under her stomach, brushing her thumbs along her fingers. 

“Okay. What were you thinking?” Ellie pulled back to better see Violet’s face, noticing something in her blue eyes that seemed out of the ordinary. They had their plan in place, most of which was Violet’s wishes because it was her body, her birth experience, and Ellie wasn’t about to convince her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with. Of course, Ellie was a planner through and through, so really, she already had back up plans, particularly in the event that Violet ended up unable to advocate for herself or in danger. But she wanted to know everything Violet wanted, in any circumstance, so she could do her best to make sure that was what she got.

“For example, what do we do if the doctor says a cesarean is necessary?” she asked. “I-I’m not a doctor so I can’t say much about what it would actually entail, but it would be good to know that, so if decisions come up related to it we can respond adequately.” 

Violet sighed. There were also other things that were heavier. She didn’t want to speak of them, but she knew they were important. 

“Or if I can’t make a decision for myself. Or a situation where my life and the baby’s life is in danger. We have to be prepared for that.” 

“Violet, my love,” Ellie said gently, once again lifting her belly all the way back up, “we have signed every possible legal document that ensures I will be the one making decisions if you are unable to. So, all we need to be sure of is that I know what you want. Obviously, we cannot plan for every single possible scenario, but we can plan for the biggest ones, and then go from there if anything else happens.” Her lips pressed into a thin line, knowing that if this was difficult enough for her to talk about, she was sure that it was harder for Violet. “If the doctors tell us you need a cesarean, we ask for their reasoning, and as long as it seems legitimate, you have the cesarean. Because a safe and healthy baby is more important than the way it’s born, yeah?” 

She let her thumbs caress the underside of Violet’s belly, turning her head so her chin rested on her shoulder for a moment, because she didn’t want to look at her when she broached the next subject. When she spoke, it was with a hushed tone as if that might make it easier.

“What I really need to know is, if it comes down to a choice between you and the baby, what choice do you want me to make?” Ellie knew what her choice would be. Impossible as it felt, and maybe as wrong as some might think, there was never a doubt in her mind. She would choose Violet every time, in every situation, no matter what because she could not imagine living in a world without her. Unless Violet told her not to. It might kill her to make that choice, but she would do it, as she did everything, for Violet. 

Violet felt her uneasiness return, gnawing away at her heart which felt like it was beating faster than it usually did. 

“I need to sit down,” she said quietly, gently encouraging Ellie to let go of her so she could take her seat back on the couch. 

She couldn’t imagine leaving Ellie behind, under any circumstances, but she knew sometimes there were odds that had to be played with. She wouldn’t dare leave her alone, she couldn’t bear it. Her mind raced back and forth, thinking about how she would word her answer in a way that made sense to both of them. It felt cold to think of her own life in such a pragmatic way in an attempt to be devoid of too many of her own emotions, of how she felt about herself and what she deserved. It was much easier to think about it in terms of what Ellie deserved, and Ellie deserved someone by her side, and whether that was her or the baby would not be in her hands. 

“If…” she began slowly. “If the baby has better chances than me, I want you to save the baby.” 

She looked over at Ellie for the next part, not wanting to say it out loud, circumventing the actual words because she couldn’t bear the thought of abandoning her baby. 

“And the same goes for me…if I have better odds.” 

Ellie sat beside Violet, her heart sitting up in her throat, making it tight and hard to breathe. Swallowing to dislodge it, she chewed on the inside of her cheek, staring at the clock on the wall, it’s ticking an almost comedic backdrop to their conversation. Finally, she looked at Violet, taking her hand in hers and squeezing gently. 

“Okay,” she agreed, her tone somber. But she couldn’t really argue with her. It was, really, a rather sound decision for a situation that would undoubtedly feel impossible. Somehow, having those wishes to guide her, knowing what Violet truly wanted, made her feel better. At least she wouldn’t have to figure it out on the spot and spend the rest of her life worried she made the wrong choice. “No matter what, though, I will always make sure they do everything possible to save you both. But I am glad to know your wishes, in case they can’t.”

Violet nodded her head in a restrained and stilted manner. She licked her lips and turned her head away from Ellie to hide a few budding tears. 

“Okay, I know I brought it up, but let’s change the topic,” she sniffled and looked down at her belly, praying to any sort of higher power that her family would be intact and whole by the end of the birth. 

She cleared her throat and tapped her fingers on her belly. 

“I’m excited to meet you Anthony,” she smiled softly. “Although your mama thinks you’re going to be Antonia.” 

Violet playfully rolled her eyes at her own statement, but she knew Ellie would be up in arms if she did not mention her complete faith in the fact that they were having a girl.

“I see I’m not the only one convinced about what we’re having,” she teased, and when Violet looked at her confused, she sucked her teeth, grinning at her wife. “You’re so convinced it’s a boy, you can’t even remember the girl name we picked out.” Laughing, Ellie rubbed her hand across Violet’s belly and turned to talk to it. “Don’t worry Antoinette, Mama’s got you.”

Violet gave Ellie a playful shove. In part, while it was a tease, she had become somewhat convinced she was having a boy. She couldn’t explain it, but it was a feeling. 

“You’re going to be so sorry when we walk home with a baby boy into that pink nursery you painted.”

Just as Violet spoke, she felt a twinge of something, making her grip onto her stomach. 

“Oh! God, what was that?”

Ellie had a retort about how pink can be for boys, too, when Violet grabbed her stomach. 

“What is it, Vi?” she asked, one hand coming over Violet’s on her belly, the other to her shoulder. “Are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?” She had at least ten more questions but realized Violet probably didn’t have answers to any of them, and that questions were likely unhelpful anyway, so she closed her mouth, poised on the verge of action, waiting for more information to guide her, shoving down any panic that would leave her paralyzed and unhelpful.

“No, no. I think I’m fine,” she breathed through whatever it was that had happened and startled her. “Maybe a Braxton-Hicks contraction.”

She hoped it was because at their last appointment the doctor had told them that their baby needed a little more rearranging before being ready to come out and Violet was really not in the headspace to deal with that kind of a complication. Although, she supposed it had been a little while since that appointment, perhaps the baby was all sorted out and ready to come.

“My water still hasn’t broken,” she quickly assured Ellie. “Just a practice round, I guess.”

Ellie heaved a deep sigh, bringing her hands back to her lap, nodding.

“Yeah, hopefully,” she said. Then, quite logically and in true Ellie fashion said, “If it happens again, we’ll start timing. If they’re coming at regular intervals, that means they’re true contractions, and we’ll have to pay attention to how close together they are.” She had read the hand out from Violet’s doctor at least fifty times. It was probably memorized at this point, but that was how Ellie dealt with worry and anxiety. Be as prepared as possible, then she would be able to handle anything that came her way.

“Okay,” Violet nodded, her voice soft and gentle, leaned over to give Ellie a kiss, in part as a thank you for looking after her so well and being on top of things. “As long as he’s not feet first I’d be more than happy for him to come right now. I mean, we’re not doing anything.”

She looked down at her belly with a bit of a tease on her tongue. 

“Dearest, if you’re ready, Mummy is, too, promise.”

[yantao-enthusiast]

the midnights era is so underrated. i'm not getting my revenge. i'm not hopelessly in love. no, i'm staring at the ceiling, know that once i fall asleep tomorrow will start but with my weary consciousness, i'm left with the thoughts of everything i've ever done. there's such a comfort in this subliminal space in this barren time. there's no one to judge me except myself. that one person i dated and never talked to again, do they ever think about me? i hear the crickets chirping while i'm crying in the bathtub. i hate my body but it's the one i have. actually, the world we live in is such a beautiful place and it's so soft and full of wonders that wouldn't exist without its quirks. when i was young, i wanted to be a dancer. i wonder what she would think of me now. she's still here, in my heart. actually she would probably hate me, like everyone else rightfully does. all i do is hurt people and every bit of my kindness is complicated and calculated. do you think about me? do you think about how you hurt me with your complicated bullshit before coming back like nothing's wrong? do you stare at the wall, wishing you did something different just like me? actually no. fuck you. fuck you and fuck everyone who ever hurt me. i'll ruin your life and you'll never know it was me. i'm hot shit and god the bathroom mirror makes me look so sexy. i'm going to put on a sparkly dress and dance because you don't deserve my sadness. oh shit wait i'm in love. that's terrifying. it's delicate and confusing yet so effortlessly simple. okay back to fuck you. i don't even have to do anything. that's how much the universe loves me. that's how much kindness and love is in my heart. oh also i love this person so much. they love me. they don't expect anything from me. they're like the blanket wrapped around me in the darkest hours, keeping me warm, keeping me alive. oh yeah i also orchestrated this person's presence into my life because that's the only way i know to get people to love me. but they know that. and they love me all the same.

oh look it's 3am now. how the fuck did that happen. god remember the time we were going through it? yeah but we had each other. i'm sorry for hurting you, pushing you away during that time when we were both struggling. you just wanted to help. and you did. maybe i'll tell them in the morning. would that be weird? maybe she'll get the message telepathically. man what if nothing wrong ever happened to me. i'll never be that girl. i'll never be the person i would've been if everything was normal in my life. fuck my life. oh right i'm in love. love this handsome fella. he makes me have vivid hallucinations about being in paris. i mean who need to go to paris when i got my baby with me??? who needs to pay attention to anything else? actually. this is really off topic. i cheated on someone once. yes i know i shouldn't have. but i was dying, stranded in a loveless land, and he saved me. yes i shouldn't have cheated on you but maybe you should've loved me. this relationship was a mistake. i didn't mean to love you. but i did. i'm in your arms and i don't remember how i got there. it's wrong. it's right. i never wanted this. nothing else will ever be as good as you. oh god i'm 19 all over again. with just one glance, i'm transported back into that time when i ached with every step, begged for just a piece of you when you're the one who looked at me. i wish i could go back. i am back. i just can't change anything. you have stolen a piece of me i will never get back and it's been so long but you can never get over the pain of losing yourself. but you don't have to worry about that, right? because you never gave anything. just like you'll never give my girlhood back. i wish i could keep anyone else from feeling that pain. i want to tell them all what i've learned from all the years i've been hurt. but why should anyone listen to me? i'm still a wreck, still figuring it all out, shouldn't they get advice from someone who actually knows how to navigate this messy existence? does it even matter? i'm in a state of paralysis, forever wondering, unable to get closure. it's too late. every midnight.

[that-tmr-girl]

New Things

Brenda x female reader

Tugging on Brenda's hair leads from makeup kisses to intense sex.

Submissive Brenda, masterbation, oral (received), fingering, hair pulling kink

I wasn't crazy. I know she saw it. I know she’s looking at him like that too. I know she feels something for Thomas. Even if he's in love with someone else, it’s clear that there's something there.

We were planning to save Minho. It was so simple too. We kidnap Teresa, get in, and get Minho out.

He was making it complicated though. We all knew why.

He still loves her. That's so obvious.

Brenda didn't get it though. Probably because she's crushing on him.

“What's going on with you?”She asked in a sympathetic tone. It was so soft and gentle, one full of sweetness and care.

Being done with all of them, I walked out before anyone could blink. Letting the door shut, I stormed off to my room.

Fuck this shit. Fuck everyone.

“Y/N? Y/N?”an all too familiar voice called, running after me. Ignoring it, I sped up despite her calling louder. Reaching my door, I quickly opened and went to slam it shut only for her to put her foot inside it.

“Go away,”I demanded.

“What's wrong? Why’d you leave like that?”She interrogated, forcing her way in. Keeping my mouth shut, I simply stood in the middle of the room. “Y/N? What happened?”She repeated, going to touch my arm. Pulling away, I scowled at her.

“What happened is you being all over him.”

“Excuse me?”She asked quickly.

“Don't play dumb. You know you're jealous of Teresa. If you want him, you can go get him. I’m not dealing with it.”

“Dealing with it? Y/N, he’s just a friend.”

“Yeah. A friend you probably want to make out with again,”I spat, the bitterness in my tone obvious to anyone.

“You and I weren't together, and we were both on something. That was all.”

“Don't treat me like I’m stupid.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying that you don't have to worry about him. I’m literally a lesbian.”

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest. Her words were true, but I didn't want that right now. I just want her to stop looking at her in a way that she should only look at me.

“You're being a jealous girlfriend. We both know you know that,”She pointed out, coming closer. Going still, I kept my glare as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “I love you. You’ve been my best friend for longer than I can remember, the girl I’m in love with for years, and the one I’ve been with for months. You know I only want you. You know I love you. You know that nobody can ever make me feel what you do. You know you're my perfect match. You know nobody could ever compare. At least, you should. After all, I tell you that all the time. Right?”

“Right,”I sighed, my eyes softening as I wrapped my arms around her too.

“I love you and you alone. Nobody could ever be as good as you. Nobody,”She whispered, pressing her temple against mine. Smiling against my will, I shut my eyes as I cupped her face with my palms.

Just like we knew would happen, she brushed her lips against mine, my mind was word clear of everything as I kissed back. When I slightly tugged on her hair without even realizing she moaned inside of my mouth. Taking a risk, I did it a little harder. Moaning louder, she pushed me on the bed while straddling me. Looking at her in surprise, I watched her throw her shirt off. Unclipping her bra, she grinded her hips against me as she shoved her lips back against mine. Taking my hands, she forced them back into her hair.

Understanding what she wanted, I pulled on the strands. Letting out a groan, she put her hands on my face as she deepened the kiss.

Pulling her away, I slipped my shirt off, letting my bra follow. Before she could look I cradled her face to my chest. As she started sucking on my neck, I pulled her closer to me by her hair.

“You can do whatever you want to me. As long as you pull my hair,”She breathed out.

“Stand up,”I ordered. Scrambling back, she did as I requested. “Take your clothes off. All of them,”I demanded.

With her face flushing, she dropped her pants, her panties following. Standing in front of me nude, she looked at the ground.

“Look at me and touch yourself,”I ordered as I pulled the rest of my clothes off.

Raising her head, she trailed her hand down my stomach. Leaning against the wall, she traced her fingers between her slit. Opening her legs a little wider, she let me get a good view of her pussy. The one I was about to dominate.

Biting my lip at the view, I listened to her moan as she stuck a finger inside of herself. Slowly pumping, she bucked her hips into her hand as she threw her head back. When she remembered why she was doing this, she forced her head forward. Her eyes were half shut as she pleasured herself. As she added another finger I kept my gaze while taking off the rest of my clothes so she could be nice and ready.

Dropping her head, she let out a strangled sound before her liquids started dripping down her thighs and to the ground. Pulling her fingers out, she looked at me as I walked over.

“You made a mess,”I sighed, fixating on her juices collecting on her skin. Kneeling down, I licked her thighs. Shivering at my tongue, she took a deep breath as I cleaned her up. When I was done I stood in front of her.

“Knees. Now,”I commanded. Doing so, she met my gaze with begging eyes.

Gripping a fistful of her hair, I forced her face into my throbbing pussy. Whimpering inside of me, she shoved her tongue between my folds as I kept bobbing her head. Tangling my hands in her dark locks, I pulled her head out before leaning against the wall. Following me, she looked up at me as she waited for me to do it again.

Throwing my leg over her shoulder, I firmly grasped her hair as I pushed her back into me. Shoving her tongue inside of me, she moaned as I tightened my grip. Throwing my head against the wall, I groaned as my body shook from the pleasure. With the pressure forming in my lower stomach, I praised my girl's name. Keeping her tongue inside of me, she moaned louder as my grip tightened. With my eyes rolling back to my head, I finished all over her face.

Keeping her hair in my hands, I made her lick it all up. Doing so, she kept her mouth on me as she licked from my clit to my thighs, making me shudder.

When I was done I took my leg off of her. Picking her up, I took her to the bathroom. Letting out a sound of surprise, she held on to me until I got to my desired spot.

Bending her over the sink, I made her watch as I shoved my fingers inside of her. Pulling her hair, I listened to her whimper as I went faster. Clenching around my fingers, she pushed herself deeper into me. Grinding my palm against her clit, I admired her in all the ways I could. The way she sounds, the way she looks, the way she feels. How her juices drip down my hands, and she lets out little gasps, and her chest heaves as she gets closer and closer.

Pushing her body further against the sink, I made sure her eyes were open as she finished on my hand.

I wasn't done though.

Continuing as if I didn't notice, I went faster and faster. Her hands gripped the counter so hard her knuckles turned white. Her legs seemed completely frozen as she tightened around me again. With more whimpers, she let go.

“That's my good girl,”I praised, pulling my fingers out of her soaked pussy and tangled hair. Sucking on them, I took in her sweet taste. When I was done I set her on the counter.

Spreading her legs with my palms, I harshly pulled her hair again. Reaching between her thighs, she touched herself. Looking at her dripping cunt, I grinned as she got louder.

Pressing my face against her chest, I kissed and bit on her neck, making her gasp. Moving down to her chest, I started swirling my tongue around her nipple while lightly pinching on the other one. As I tugged on her hair one last time, she made her special sound.

Looking down, I saw the mess she had made on the counter. Clicking my tongue, I shook my head as I started cleaning her up with my fingers. Touching her walls and inner legs, I collected her cum.

“Taste yourself,”I ordered, putting my fingers in front of her face. Wrapping her lips around me, she sucked on them for a moment, swirling her tongue around. When she got her cum off and salvia on my hand she pulled away.

Looking her dead in the eye, I licked her spit from my hand.

“You're a kinky girl, aren't you?”I grinned when I was done.

“Yeah, but you already knew that.”

“Well, I didn't know you could be so submissive.”

“I guess you should do new things to me more often then,”She said in a sly voice.

“Yes. I definitely should.”

And I definitely will.

[shadowmaat]

Good Omens s2: criticisms

Look, folks, I thoroughly enjoyed S2 and am not implying that the whole thing is bad or that it doesn't deserve a third season, I'm just an old-school nerd who believes it's possible to criticize and find fault with something you love. So, spoilers ahead.

My biggest problem remains the Gabriel/Beelzebub story. It doesn't make sense within the context of what we know of the characters. I just can't wrap my head around sanctimonious, rules-obsessed Gabriel falling so hard and so fast for Beelzebub. And that Beelzebub would feel the same way. It took millennia for Aziraphale and Crowley to reach a point where "love" was even a question, never mind deciding on an answer. I'm sorry, but you can't speed run a slow burn.

Sure, you can wave your hand and talk about how "sometimes it just happens like that" but that doesn't feel like it should apply to these two.

If we'd seen more evidence of it being something that has gone on for millennia as the two of them are forced into communication over and over again due to "bureaucratic reasons" it might work a little better. As it is, though, it just feels false. About the only way I can think of to resolve it is to have the two of them pop in again during a pivotal catastrophic moment in S3 and reveal that, surprise! They were never in love (ew) and it was all part of Someone's plan to get them out of the picture so they could work on creating something to stop Armageddon 2 without anyone being the wiser. But I don't think that's what's going to happen. I think we're meant to believe they really did fall in love.

It felt very cliché, and without any of the clever twists or lampshading I'd have expected. It does, however, do a good job of showing what could be possible if angels and demons set aside their differences to work together (and maybe even grow closer). And yes, as a sped-up reflection of Aziraphale and Crowley's own relationship, the parallels are pretty clear. Except for the bit where we actually saw how A&C worked together and influenced each other into becoming better entities, and with G&B we just have to take it, ha, on faith.

Where G&B's relationship was bizarre, the stuff between Maggie & Nina was... uncomfortable. They are, again, a watered-down reflection of Aziraphale & Crowley (more on that in a sec), but this time with the added interference of A&C trying to interfere to make them happen as a couple.

Nina herself called them out on that manipulative bullshit, and she was very right. You can't force people to be together, even if they would be a good match and like each other.

I'm also going to put a big red X next to Neil's name if he was, in fact, responsible for implementing one of my most-loathed clichés: giving a character an absolute dick of a partner in order to A) keep the preferred pair from getting together and B) showing how much better the potential partner is in comparison to the absolute dick. It's bad storytelling. More than that, it does a disservice to Maggie. If she is, as we're meant to believe, a genuinely good person and someone who would be a kind and caring match for Nina, then that should be enough. If you have to compare her to someone else to prove how much better she is then you're lacking confidence in the character.

To circle back to our human duo being a reflection of our ineffable ones, I find it a little weird to see Aziraphale & Crowley's relationship become a focus that's reflected in so many unsubtle ways. That isn't, to me, what Good Omens is supposed to be about. Their complicated (and yet simple) relationship is supposed to be background noise, in much the same way as they themselves are meant to be background characters who are simply bumbling around the main plot. I'm not sure I can properly express why it bothers me beyond that. It just does.

I'm also going to say the most wildly unpopular thing I could possibly say about the second season: I didn't like the kiss. I'm SORRY. I know how important and validating it was for 99% of the audience. I know how many people pumped their fists and cheered. And I 100% understand Crowley's utter desperation in doing it and Aziraphale's "I forgive you" auto-response. I'm not in any way trying to piss on anyone's enjoyment of it. I remember what a huge and hate-fueled debacle it was when the last season ended without any formal physical declarations of love. I just... was a tiny bit disappointed.

One of the things I loved most about Aziraphale & Crowley's relationship was that there was no physical intimacy. In a world where we're constantly inundated in every form of media (and advertising, and politics, and so on) that sex/physical romance is the ONLY way to prove you love someone, it was such a profound relief to see one example where that wasn't true. I know I'm in the extreme minority in my preferences, and I wouldn't expect the show to cater to my individual needs at the expense of a broader, more socially-acceptable message, I'm just sorry to have lost that.

Anyway, it was a bit of a thematically weird season, but there was still a lot to love and I hope we get to see how things turn out in season 3.

[nuggywuggy-25]

A Broken Promise.

Pairing ; Thomas Shelby x Fem!reader

A letter arrived at his office in the Garrison. The envelope was a little crumpled and torn. The paper wore obvious coffee stains, but the handwriting was unmistakably that of his first love. She moved away from Small Heath when she was 19, leaving Tommy and the shelby’s behind. Their goodbye was one that Tommy would never forget, the memory still stinging him at the mention of her name. He closed his eyes and sighed tiredly. This was the last thing he needed right now, to reminisce on what could’ve been.

“Tommy,” it began. “I hope this letter finds you well. I would like to invite you and your family to my wedding.” Tommy’s eyes widened. Their promise was broken, she was marrying someone else. He knew it was childish to feel hurt, to feel betrayed but part of him did. Part of him hated her for this. Their promise had been made when they were teenagers, before the world got more complicated than it was, before they were forced to grow up.

His mind flashed back to the day they made the promise. The two were messing around by the docks, skimming rocks across the dirty water and feeding the lonesome ducks that swam along it. Y/N picked up a slug that she’d found and decided to chase Tommy with it, laughing as he squealed like a little girl running away from the girl. Y/N caught him, tackling him to the ground, waving the slug in his face and laughing at his disgusted expression. Tommy wanted to be angry at her but he couldn’t, her laughter was too contagious. He too began laughing a real, hearty laugh. The two sat there for a while just laughing at each other’s antics making small digs at each other which only ignited their laughter further. Tommy wrapped his arms around the girl and she hers around him, their laughter fizzled out and now the two wore content smiles on their faces. “I’m gonna marry you one-day Y/N, we’ll have a grand wedding and I’ll buy you the most beautiful dress and we’ll eat cake until we can’t eat anymore.” He whispered to her, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. Even though he was only 17, Tommy meant every word. “Promise?” Y/N mumbled as she leaned back against his chest, nothing else mattered in this moment, it was as if the world had faded into nothing and it was only the two of them left. “I promise.” He replied

That was many years ago. The world had changed, they had changed. Y/N had moved away two years later leaving Tommy with a simple ring to remember her by, a ring that would remain on his chain, a reminder of their promise. Tommy enlisted for the war, thinking it was an honorable thing to do. But he was unaware of the trauma it would cause him, including the nightmares. He came home a changed man. Y/N wrote monthly letters to Tommy even during the war, which kept him motivated, not only to get back to his family but to get back to her.

Now 29, he sat in his cold office that was littered with the finest mahogany furniture, staring at the letter in disbelief. He knew deep down that he could’ve done more, he could’ve gone to see her but he was so busy building his family’s empire, making a name for himself, for the Peaky Blinders, that the girl became an afterthought. Picking up the glass of Irish whiskey, he downed what was left while sitting back in his chair. A deep sigh left him as he carried on reading.

“It’s being held in Newby Hall a week from when you will be reading this letter. I hope you can all make it, it’d be delightful to see you all again.

Best wishes and much love,

Y/n”