#she’s skated by on knowledge from our reality of their world but that knowledge is running out fast and is being altered by her own actions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cutegirlmayra · 4 years ago

Note

Sonic Forces prompt: Amy offers herself in exchange for Sonic release, she "says" she'll give special info on their plans for Sonic's return but ultimately doesn't and believes with Sonic back the troops morale will improve. Sonic, however, is angry that his friends would let her do something like that and upon freeing her fears what Infinite did to her to "make her talk." Sonic isn't happy that Amy would give herself up like that and they have a talk that helps them both heal after the war.

I may slightly change your idea, slightly, but I think it’ll be more dramatic how Amy is taken instead of Sonic this way. I don’t think I can come up with much of a reason for Infinite taking her instead of Sonic when Sonic is quite literally passed out, so I made up my mind that ‘this’ way would be a bit more believable. (If this turns into an InfinitexAmy but ends on Sonamy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It... it’s a problem and I can’t stop it, lol)

( @uhsecretaccount Please support the artist! I love this so much!!! So thank you for your kindness in making me a preview prompt image ;nwn; )

33:05 - Pajama Blogs - Prompt Requests (My Youtube, where I went over this prompt upon first ideas! :D)

Prompt:

It was mortifying. Seeing Sonic go down so fast, suddenly becoming still and lifeless...

Everyone froze on the battlefield, and after their bodies forced them to take a breath, Amy rushed in front of Sonic’s limp body.

Infinite slowly floated down, his tail slightly flicking in an elegant manner, but showing his frustration at her immediate interference.

“Hahaha..! And what do you suppose you can do... Your hero has failed you, your forces will end here... There’s nothing your patheic attempt at saving his life could possibly do for your forces...” He placed his hand up to his mask, gloating as he taunted her protective stance in front of Sonic’s laying form.

She frowned heavily, her hands shaking a moment on her raised hammer but quickly gripped it tighter to stop the fear creeping into her heart. “Sonic can’t loose!” She declared, confidently. “Not if we’re all standing beside him!”

Infinite took his other arm and wrapped it around himself, creating a place for his before mentioned raised hand’s elbow to rest on. “If he wakes up... none of you will be here... hahaha!”

His laughter caused Amy’s eyebrows to twitch down into an even fiercer glare.

Getting annoyed at her bravery, Infinite pivoted quickly in the air and threw his arms down, “Stubborn as your kind, I see!” he raised his arm slowly, “No matter... I’ll dispose of all this ‘false hope’ and end this war’s resistance once and for-”

“I’d like to see you try!” Amy took a confident step forward, but Eggman’s voice cut both of them off from their respective ‘duel’ of sorts.

“Infinite!” Eggman seemed to be giving the commands around here, and not Infinite. “I want him captured and alive!”

Infinite flicked his tail again, a bit more to show his growing anger, but turned to Amy. “The Doctor seems to be under the impression that he’s better off watching the world burn then burning with it... an unfortunate call, but he never said anything about preserving his friends lives...”

A red beam shot from his hands as Amy threw up her hammer and was blown back by it, but made sure she didn’t knock into Sonic.

She looked back at him, worried, before shaking her fears off again and standing boldly in front of Infinite. “I’ll go instead!” she cried out. “I can tell you valuable plans for the resistance-!”

“Like I would believe such a tale.” Infinite continued to fire off shots, trying to get her to leave the body to him, but she wouldn’t budge.

She was blasted time and time again by the contact of his beams against her hammer, but she continued to remain strong and deflect them away while not moving from where Sonic was.

She gritted her teeth, seeing he wasn’t going to buy into bluffs.

“No fear,” she began, which threw Infinite off as he pulled back his hand, growing even more furious at her courage. “Amy Rose is here!” she began to charge him, and growing afraid, he shot one red beam out from a few different cubes that appeared around him, firing all into the center of her hammer as she tried to push against it.

She grunted, showing the strain on her body as the laser beams continued to dig into her hammer and weaken her of her reserved power.

He laughed then, seeing her at a standstill. “Your useless attempt at saving his life will end in vain. It’s pointless to strive against a more powerful force than your own!”

“...Eggman... and even you don’t scare me.” She spoke through clenched teeth, but her feet were sliding as she tried to push against the combined red force of the beams.

Infinite’s eye twitched at her words.

“...You will be!” he threw back his resting hand and shot another powerful beam into the center, giving an extra force to the already overpowering might of the Phantom Ruby cubes.

She was forced back, but when she did so, Tails flew into the scene along with the others, leading a defensive wall just to stand as cover.

Knuckles and the others lead another ground team, trying to get people out of there.

Espio suddenly appeared, having gone invisible to get Amy, but she weakly opened her eyes and spoke in a haze, “No... Go... get... Sonic...”

“But-” Espio looked to see Sonic, his fingers finally twitched, showing he was alive... somewhat. “What about you?” He looked back at her and she breathed faintly. “We... need... him.” She spoke, trying to use the last of her strength to push Espio towards him, scooting his foot to Sonic’s direction. “He’ll... raise... morale.”

“That’s not your reason.” Espio knew her undying love for Sonic, but wouldn’t be so easily moved by it. “You’re acting like a fool, let me help you up-ah!” she batted away his reaching hands.

“GO!” she cried out, “Now!”

His eyes flinched at her declaration... his fist shook, “Sonic...” he ran towards him and turned invisible, laying on top of him to block out Infinite’s vision in seeing him, creating a blank space that looked like no one was there... “Forgive me...” He closed his eyes, feeling them shake. He knew Sonic wouldn’t let this go, and probably stage a hasty rescue for Amy... but letting Amy go... what was she planning?!

Infinite had no trouble squandering Tails’s force, flying over them and shooting out his beams before seeing Amy on the ground, panting and trying to get up on her knees, and Sonic no where to be found.

In his rage, he flew straight at her, gripping her throat and pulling her up into the air. “Where is he!?What have you done with him?!”

Amy struggled to place her hands on his own, gripping tightly against her airway. “G-given... the... r-resistance... a-a.... miracle... of... h-ho-hope.”

In his fury, he lifted his other hand to tear her face clean through, but Eggman flew up behind the flames.

“You lost him!?” He roared, but looked around, “Nevermind the girl! Wait-... Wait, wait, wait! Mind her, mind her!” He flew closer to them and sat up in his Eggmobile, shaking a hand in front of himself to visually show Infinite not to hurt her. “Take her with us to the moon! Sonic will always help a friend in need... wherever we take her... he’ll be sure to follow.” Eggman snickered, but then immediately turned to a frown as he flew over and smacked Infinite upside the head, “When that comes-! Don’t screw it up!” he flew off then, as though somewhat intimidated by Infinite as well, but not scared of him.

Infinite, feeling humiliated upon his total victory just a moment ago, lowered his raised hand but kept Amy by the throat.

He pulled her closer to the edge of his mask, “Our quarrel isn’t over... Amy.”

She kept trying to resist his grip, but he pressed just slightly more to make her choke out her words.

Espio heard her struggling, but knew if he moved even slightly, Sonic’s body would be revealed. ‘Forgive me..!’ he continued to think silently, letting Amy endure the torture.

But with a swift kick, Amy got out of his grasp, just before the final blow to knock her out.

“Hmph,” being shoved away, he dusted himself off, flexing the hand he used to strangle her momentarily with. “Persistent... all the signs of an animal on it’s last legs...”

Amy tried to regain her breathing,...

“I have no use for you... but since Eggman believes you can lure out Sonic... I suppose I can let you live... but you did say you had intel on the resistance. Might as well...” He walked slowly towards her, threatening an advance as he leaned down slightly to show he was ready to duke it out again. “Rip the knowledge right out of you..!”

His swift movements didn’t catch her off-guard like they did Sonic, and instead, their fight was met with blocks and swings, before she spun around and flipped back, shoving him away.

While he was still flying back, she used the opportunity to hit Espio and Sonic into the air, swinging them up as Tails and Knuckles immediately flew and glided up to grab them. They disappeared into the fray of the retreating army, but as Amy was staggering to try and keep herself upright, about to flee with them, Infinite gripped her from behind and threw a hand over her mouth so she couldn’t cry for help. Not that her throat had recovered much from his earlier, killing force.

He flew high into the air, keeping her locked in his arms before she bit his hand.

“Fine, except your fate!” he let her go but threw open a false reality, splitting her mind into believing she was being glitched apart and turning into static interference.

He watched with some amusement, before using the realm to also quickly transfer her to the moon’s prison.

Everything was black... and cold.

The metal beneath her only increased her discomfort as she began to slowly blink her eyes, and getting up... looking to see the design very much like Eggman’s handiwork.

Her hands were shackled by some strange technology that glowed light blue, and behind her, a lowered metal bed that hung just a little off the floor.

She sighed and felt her head ringing, not wanting to remember how she got here, but having the memories skate by quickly as she recollected herself.

“Hmph, Eggman is a fool to think this will cause any panic.”

That voice wasn’t familiar... and as she turned to see a huge, hulking red beast with horns in front of her cell, she held in her surprised gasp.

Her mouth opened as her eyes scanned but then shut quickly as he looked over to her, “What will you do with her?” his arms were folded, looking less than thrilled at the prospect of not being able to get his revenge right away. “I was told I could toss Sonic around like my own personal punching bag!” He tightened his fist, “Eggman will hear of my displeasure...”

Infinite’s voice suddenly entered the frame, and Amy felt her chest tighten as though his very voice could constrict her now like he had her throat.

“Leave the girl and whatever use she can be to me. I understand you’re aggravation, but don’t get in my way with your sap story...” He flicked a hand out, as though dismissing Zavok as Amy put together that he must have come to beat down on Sonic even more...

If he were here... hurt and disoriented, worried about his friends and going crazy at the small confinement... no, Sonic wouldn’t have succumbed to dread. He would have taken the beating till he could fight back... He would have remained hopeful that his team would come through. That they could make it and manage a short while without him.

Infinite walked up into the sight of the prison bars... almost like stalking her image a moment before pausing towards the door of her cell. “...What good is your failed bravery now?” he taunted, then tilted his head and gestured his hand out. “Your friends will do just fine without you, that much is true, dying was never hard for your kind anyway.”

‘My kind..?’ Amy wondered if that meant Infinite wasn’t one of them, but perhaps, half robot. She tried to open her mouth but her voice failed her, and she put her hands up to her mouth, realizing all that was coming out was air.

Infinite watched... seeing her frailty, and disregarding it to continue speaking. He looked away from her, “Your friends have been fighting but to no avail... Eggman will crush them soon... and when that happens, he’ll give the order to eliminate the last of them... you.” he looked back to her, “A worthless ant compared to Sonic... just a bigger, squishable ant than you.”

After telling her how much Eggman had taken over the world, even with Sonic still out among the resistance, he then added, “-And no one seems to be prioritizing you. You’re just another casualty to them.”

Amy remained poised, now seeing she couldn’t speak without resounding ridicule from Infinite, she just lowered her hands to her lap and sat properly, staring with a strong look back to him.

“...Even Sonic can’t save the world now.” He waited to see her despair set in... but her eyes simply declared, ‘He will,’.

Infinite’s eye widened and shook, before blinking to a calm and moving more towards her cell. “The last of your hope is about to be snuffed out before you can even see him again..!”

Her eyes blared a holy light of hope, as she let him fall into it’s sucking pull of knowing he was wrong. ‘And you’ll never see it coming...’.

He clashed his hand up against the cell, causing a loud sensation to echo through the whole of the moon’s structure, creating a vibrating force that should have rocked Amy to her core, at least made her flinch, but nothing... “You and the rest of your pathetic resistance is already doomed by my power and the power of the Phantom Ruby!!!”

Amy’s eyes remained constant in their resolve, their power never waning as they once again continued, ‘He’ll overwhelm you in the light of his hope, and you’ll be weak to resist it.’

Slashing the door open as it immediately unlocked for him, he charged into the cell and loomed over her. His body twitched at her still being able to hold her own, and immediately tried to beat out the ‘speak of life’ within her.

She wouldn’t just take a beating, and instead, fought bravely, even though her hands were restricted, summoned her hammer and kept on fighting.

Months had gone by where the routine was to pretend her voice never healed, watch as Infinite continued to try and break her spirit piece by piece with lies, but never fully give in to any of them. Once his patience ran thin, she would fight to stay alive under his brutal hate of her trust in Sonic and her friends.

“I AM NOT WEAK!” he grabbed her hammer which had tried to swing to his head, and threw her down to the ground.

Gripping the top of her head, he threw her against the metallic torture board, but didn’t bother to strap her up this time. “I know your voice should is healed!” his voice was like a shockwave, ringing through the metallic chamber and throughout the moon. He had personally excused Zavok back to the earth to fight Sonic, and though he journeyed there to fight as well, wouldn’t miss a single appointment to try and strip Amy of all she ever believed and held dear.

“You’re just too broken to use it!” he tried to gloat, but she could tell he was only trying to convince himself that she feared him, when it really wasn’t the case.

She pretended it hurt, when it didn’t, and stayed up against the metal board, tilted slightly to hold someone up to a the deadly lightning that would try and shock information out of her.

He paced behind her back, looking to her then away, as though feeling he had nothing left to throw at her, no plan remaining to extract her spirit and tear her core apart.

He wouldn’t admit how strong she was, he wouldn’t allow himself to think such a thing.

So he was convincing himself that he was still winning, and Amy just held her ground time and time again.

He finally moved up to her and slammed a hand against the board, the vibration hurting her hands as she moved away from it and felt herself bump up against him.

She was shocked he was so close, and turned to get ready for another rumble, but he grabbed her shoulder and turned her forcefully, shoving her back against the metallic board.

“Say something...” his voice sounded off, and she looked around, still pretending she couldn’t speak. His claws traced her shoulder down to her collarbone... then up to her throat that slowly began to enclose around her throat again.

She fought but he rammed his elbow into her the metallic board, keeping her in place beneath him, having her slightly lean to match the board’s angle with her back.

“...You still think someone’s going to save you... don’t you?” He lightly squeezed on her throat and she tried to hold back a sound of pain, but he kept his thumb pressing in different places, as though trying to force out a sound. “You don’t even bothering using your voice anymore... not that anything you say would change the truth!” he then threw her away from the metallic board and watch her catch herself before falling to the steel ground. “Even if they try..!” He pivoted to her, angling his head up to loom over her, possessively. “I would never let them have you... Not until I’ve sent you back... in pieces!” He threw back his hand but before he could strike, Amy already summoning her hammer and trying to get her feet under her more, a hook-shot wrapped expertly around his raised wrist, as Infinite was held back. “WHAT?!” he looked bewilderedly back at the wire, and followed it to it’s source...

“Nice shot, Rookie!” A familiar, cheery voice suddenly spun into the fray and spindashed into Infinite, shredded his quills into his Phantom Ruby as the cubes glitched into reality at being threatened.

“NOOO!!!” Infinite was released from the hookshot and pushed back as Sonic’s whirling blue ball of thunder spun in the air a moment before landing in front of Amy, uncurling to reveal her hero.

“Sonic!” she finally let the words out, as Infinite’s eye shook at her voice he hadn’t heard for months.

“The one and only!” Sonic adjusted his gloves, then tapped his foot behind him, as though getting ready for a rumble. “Sorry I’m a bit late, Amy! Zavok took forever to force an answer out of him, what’d I miss?”

“GRAAAH!!” Infinite swung a beam back at Sonic but he quickly dodged it, letting it follow him as he gave Rookie a command.

“Hey, buddy! Get Amy out of here and leave this to me!”

“Nooo!” Infinite turned his target to the red Rookie, but Amy got up and slammed a hammer into his stomach. “Ack..! Ahh... l-liar...” He staggered, and as he did so, tried to reach for her but she quickly gave him one last glare, keeping him up by her hammer, before speedily retreating with the Rookie.

Even at the last second, she wouldn’t speak to him.

He threw out his frustrations onto Sonic, who now that Amy and the Rookie were gone, really let Infinite have it.

From the Rookie, Amy learned how mad and obsessed Sonic was with bringing her back. Chewing out Espio before able to hear reason, he never stopped questioning Eggman and threatening his phantom forces about where she was these six months. He wouldn’t prioritize anything over getting her back, knowing full well she self-sacrificed and risked everything to keep him with the resistance.

“It should have been me!” Sonic kicked Infinite back, but on the second throw, was caught by Infinite’s hand and thrown back.

“Yes, it should have been.” He agreed, and continued to fight him.

“What did you want with Amy anyway!?” Sonic was relentless, and even though Infinite triggered the false dimension many times, Sonic still had plenty of power to keep coming at him.

“...Her voice.” Infinite muttered under his breath, before slashing Sonic to the side and watching him tumble as the gravity began to fail. Sonic was continually spinning horizontally in the air, but floating over to the ceiling’s corner, caught himself and shook his head, glaring back at Infinite and pushing off to dive towards him.

“I wanted her to bring you to me, and now she finally has.”

“Could have been sooner if your mask cracked a bit and you just said where she was in the first place!” their punches weren’t as powerful in zero gravity, but their combined anger meant they were pulling the other to stay within the fight, stay close and personal to keep punching out.

‘I wanted her to choke on her next word-’ Infinite recalled, ‘I wanted her to give up and fall to me like the rest of your insignificant forces! But she wouldn’t!’

Amy was safely delivered to Vector’s escape pod, and the Rookie patted her back, smiling and welcoming her back to earth... and the resistance.

Turning Super Sonic, Sonic also made it out before the moon exploded... and Infinite followed him suit.

Once back at the resistance, Amy could finally rest and get treated for her bruises, which were pretty bad on her throat, where he would target the most.

Eggman scolded Infinite but agreed that Amy was worthless and only there to really cause aggravation and be used as a ‘tool’ really to bargain with and then break their promises and/or deals. Now that she was back, Eggman ordered Infinite to ignore it, but Infinite couldn’t let it slide...

His fingers would twitch to be at her throat again...

With Sonic, hearing she had awaken from her medical rest, he bolted in to startle the nurses and doctors who were looking at her, and noticed her bandaged up with her dress slightly down from her chest to continue fixing up the white bandages.

He turned his head abruptly, but it wasn’t like he could see anything... it was just polite not to stare.

The female doctor who was patching her up smiled at his retreating look, and tied the last knot for Amy, patting her shoulders as Amy blushed and put her dress back up to connect the white collar around her sore neck again.

The male nurse also waved awkwardly to let Sonic know he could look again, and he did so.

“You okay?” He asked, rather quickly, and Amy just smiled weakly to him and closed her eyes.

“I am now that I’ve seen you flourishing!” she chimed, her voice as strong as ever, though not quite matching the patched-up look she had, physically.

“Hmph, Good.” Still angry, he folded his arms and turned his head away. “It would be hard to stay upset if you weren’t.”

“Upset?” Amy asked, curiously, as the rest of the crew eyed one another. Quickly feeling out the mood, they began to depart, letting the two have some privacy.

That same male nurse saw Tails wanting to come in and held up a finger to his lips, showing that he should stay quiet and not bother them right now.

Sonic tapped a foot, aggressively holding in all his words.

“...Sonic? Is everything alright?” Amy worriedly put a hand up to herself and then reached one out to Sonic, but he broke his folded arms and glared at her, with some hurt she didn’t recognize.

“I’ve thought for 6 months how I was gonna sternly call you out for your heroism, how you should have just let it slide and let him take me.” His voice was as though he was banishing her to get out of his presence, but she knew that wasn’t how he was meaning to come off... right?

“After a while, I thought maybe I should explain where I’m coming from, get you to understand how much pain you’ve brought me since you traded in your life for mine.” His voice got softer, but not by much. He leaned on the gurney and got closer to her face, his eyes still intense. “Because... it’s been the first time in my life... that I’ve ever felt genuinely worried for the future... where I couldn’t stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’ and every night, the same cursed dream of not waking up in time to save you... not being strong enough to not picture all the horrible things that Infinite and Zavok must have been doing to you to get information out on me and the others... the whole resistance was crying their eyes out for you and then letting them sting the next morning as they searched for signs of you.”

As he spoke, Amy felt her heart sinking and rising in turns. Like he was filling her heart with the floods of emotions that were quickly blocking and pushing Infinite’s hopeless attempts to sink her out, and letting her heart swiftly rise up to it’s proper position, instead of down by her stomach in dreaming hopes of grandeur that her friends were alright and well.

She saw the earth from above... but forced herself to never cry, never let Infinite get to her...

Sonic was confused by her silence, but seeing her throat, figured it may hurt to speak.

He looked away, his lips parting to show his clenched teeth and her eyes spotting also his scraping nails against the gurney’s covers...

“I honestly didn’t know, Amy...” He admitted, “... if you’d be there in my future or not.”

She gasped.

Never before had she ever assumed Sonic would give in to such thinking...

“But I couldn’t give up...” He closed his eyes, trying to remain unemotional. “I had to disregard my speech, and if I found you, just tell you how I really feel.”

He then turned seriously towards her, his eyes piecing into her heart that he had made soar up to her throat, bumping against the sides as though unable to move further as it was too big to squeeze through, but the emotional floods were pushing it up regardless.

She slightly leaned back, lost for words, instead of holding them back like before...

“Now... all I can say is... why?” he pleaded, “Why did you do it?” his eyes grew hopelessly soft as though unable to keep up the ‘tough guy’ persona. “Why didn’t you just... save yourself?”

It was love, it had to be. Amy couldn’t perceive this change of character without it being somewhere in his heart.

Six months... anger, to sorrow, to now seeking understanding...

She had put him through the works, and she wanted to heal and mend what she had broken in him.

Eggman and Infinite had succeeded in one thing... torturing this poor boy out of his mind with thoughts of her and her predicament.

Though Infinite had done the same to her, she never fell to his designs... And Sonic? He wouldn’t allow himself to fully surrender either, it wasn’t in his nature. However, for the first time, he was admitting how truly lost he was without knowing what had become of her.

“I had to do something, Sonic.” She admitted, raising her hand to put it gently by his cheek, seeing how truly weak he had become now that he was standing before her, and let his knees sink into the bedding of her gurney.

“But... why? I never asked you to sacrifice yourself for me!” he dipped his head, not willing to show her his distraught.

She smiled a little wider, happy to see he hadn’t forgotten what a big risk she had taken for his sake.

“To save you, Sonic,... Was to save the resistance.” she cupped his chin to lift it up so she could press her forehead to his own. “You never needed to ask me, Sonic... and you never should... I will always rush, headfirst, into whatever danger may present itself... if it means I can keep you in my life.”

Sonic’s arms twitched, as though wanting to embrace her.

Seeing him hold back so much, his expression being hidden by his pride, she took the initiative and wrapped herself lovingly around his waist, before flinching at the pain from her bruising.

Gripping her arm, he dug his forehead into her shoulder, still refusing to show her what was happening to him through his face.

“I’ll make Infinite pay for this..” he darkly declared, “I won’t let Eggman get away with this either...”

“I don’t ask for revenge, Sonic.” Amy held him closer, “I just wanted you to be okay.”

“Like I don’t feel the same way!?” Sonic finally blurted out, “Let me fight for you now that I have you back again! We all want too! We-!”

She put his hand up from her shoulder, traced it passed her collar bone which made go silent as he moved back to see what on earth she was doing, and then placed it to her throat.

“My voice isn’t hidden anymore,” she seemed to be symbolizing something, but he wasn’t sure what she was talking about. She looked up at him, giving him the same deadly look of bravery she had given Infinite, “I fight with you, and you... you, and everyone, will be my resisting voice.”

#sonamy #infinitexamy #sonic forces #sonic forces prompt #sonic prompt #cutegirlmayra #sonamy forces #forces!sonamy #infamy prompt #infamy

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wsgeon · 4 years ago

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hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc.

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

#ws:intro #frankly my characters end up a lil different from intended 90% of the time soooo take my description of his personality w a grain of salt #this intro is long and illiterate but i'll fix it at a later time

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myhockeyworld87 · 5 years ago

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Choices - Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn - Part 5

Word Count: 2086

POV: Starts with Tyler/Ends with Reader

Warnings: Talk to miscarriage, language

Notes: Ok here is the next installment with the choice that you guys picked. You have 48 hours to vote (Friday at 3pm). For all the US readers, I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the Black Friday shopping! Peace, Love and Hugs all!

TYLER’S POV

As you waited patiently for (Y/N) to answer your questions, your mind began to wander. You could picture it clearly, a tiny little girl. She’d have your soft brunette curls atop her head, but (Y/N)’s eyes and nose; and definitely (Y/N)’s smile. Your little girl would be just over a year-old right now. Part of you realized you missed a lot of firsts, the first time she rolled over, her first steps, her first words; vaguely, you wondered if she could say daddy, if not, it would be something you could teach her. Spoiling her rotten would be high on your list of things to do. She was going to be your little princess, and there was nothing in this world she couldn’t have.

Then again, it could be a little boy. He’d have your devilish grin; but (Y/N)’s amazingly sweet personality. He’d probably love the dogs; they’d be his best friends. You could already see him, waddling after Gerry outside; the two of them playing in a mud puddle. You couldn’t wait to teach him how to skate, a little hockey stick in his hand, as he toddled around the living room. No matter if it was a boy or a girl you’d love them with all your heart. This was a life that you and (Y/N) created together, and you couldn’t wait to start being a family.

(Y/N) still had a blank stare in her eyes. Of course you were somewhat upset that she hadn’t told you about the baby; but you weren’t going to blame her. What mattered now, was that you were here, and so were she and the baby; and now you could all be a family. Though you knew Jamie would be hurt, by (Y/N) being with you; he’d eventually move on and find someone else, who he could start a family with.

All this waiting was getting to you. You had to know more about your child. “(Y/N), where’s the baby? Can we go see them now?”

Jamie squeezed her hand, which you found odd. (Y/N) opened her mouth, yet no words came out. Finally after a few attempts, she said; “Tyler, I lost the baby.” What did she mean by that? Like she didn’t know where the baby was. You assumed your face must have given you away for the next thing that came out of her mouth was. “I had a miscarriage.”

The reality of her words hit you like a ton of bricks. All those dreams and images that were in your mind, were just wiped away. It was like being blindsided and slammed into the boards so hard, that you weren’t sure you were going to get up from the hit. Physically you staggered back a bit before saying. “When? How? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did tell you.” Had she, you didn’t remember; but after that night you hadn’t taken a pain pill or had a drink until you spoke to her. “You called me…like what a hundred times? When I finally answered; I told you then.”

You tried to get your mind to focus on that first conversation with (Y/N). It was somewhat hazy, but you remember her saying ‘I lost it’ several times. “Wait…is that what you were trying to tell me when you said ‘I lost it?’” Tears were streaming down her face now, she must be recalling that day. “I thought you meant lost it when you saw the video and the photo. I never thought that you meant you lost the baby, because I didn’t remember you telling me about it.” God, you had been so obliterated that night. “Jesus…no wonder you hate me.”

“Tyler, I don’t hate you.”

This was too much, you couldn’t take it. The high of thinking you had a baby with (Y/N); had just been crushed by the knowledge that you were the one to make (Y/N) lose your baby. “Fuck, I hate myself right now. How can you not?” The pain you were experiencing right now was making it hard to breathe. You had to get out of here. Stumbling out of the room, you ran as soon as you could find the front door; slightly aware of a voice calling your name.

READER’S POV

The hurt in Tyler’s eyes, mirrored your own. When you told him that you had a miscarriage; it was like reliving it all over again. It hadn’t happened immediately, it was well after you saw the photos of Tyler. The next afternoon, you’d been an emotional train wreck, crying at the drop of a hat. Part of you didn’t want to believe it was true, but then you’d look at the post again and you couldn’t escape the reality of it. Finally, you’d thrown your phone across the room; angry at the object that brought you such despair. It was in that moment that the pain hit. You doubled over with cramping so bad you fell to the ground. That’s when you saw the blood, it seemed to be everywhere, and you had no idea what to do. Slowly, you crawled over to where your phone had landed and called for an ambulance. Once you were in the emergency room, they brought over the ultra-sound machine and were unable to find the heartbeat. Though you’d been crying the whole time, the flood gates opened when the doctor confirmed you’d lost the baby.

When the bleeding wouldn’t subside, they took you into surgery for a DNC. The whole thing felt so cold and robotic. This was your baby and they were literally scraping the remains out of you. You remember calling your friend Jenna afterward; you hadn’t told your parents yet and didn’t want them to know after what had happened with Tyler. Jenna had stayed with you the whole time, holding your hand, hugging you and just letting you cry for hours on end. You immediately blamed yourself, even when the doctor told you it wasn’t your fault; for how could it not be when you were so upset, that you’d literally forgotten about your child and now you were paying the consequences.

Eventually Jenna convinced you to answer Tyler’s phone call and at least let him know what happened to the baby. He’d begged you to forgive him, before you could even say a word. You’d told him to ‘stop,’ that you didn’t want to hear it. Then you repeated over and over again, that you’d lost it. Now that you knew the truth and he never even knew you were pregnant; you can see how he didn’t understand. In your anger, both with yourself and him; you’d told him to go to hell. There was too much grief then to think clearly. Now you knew, that it was neither your fault nor Tyler’s. You’d come to terms that your miscarriage was out of your hands.

You could see the emotions playing across Tyler’s face. There was joy at first, in the knowledge you two had a baby. Quickly replaced by hurt and sadness, when he found out the baby had died. Lastly there was the guilt, that overwhelming emotion that sent you spiraling out of control, was now taking over him. You didn’t hate him; you’d been long past that. When he staggered out of the room, every instinct in you wanted to follow him; and so you tried, only to be stopped by Jamie’s hand, which you totally forgot you’d been holding. It only registered in your brain when you found yourself calling out Tyler’s name. Absentmindedly you looked at Jamie, no words came out of your mouth; yet you heard him say, “Go, you both need this.” With one last squeeze of your hand, he let you go after Tyler.

As soon as you were out of the bedroom you ran through the front door, thinking Tyler would be there; he wasn’t. You saw his figure running down the street. “Tyler!” He kept going, all the way to the end of the street, where he took a right. Where the hell was he headed? You ran down the street after him; yelling once more, “Tyler!” Finally, you reached the end of the street, he was close to the quaint bridge you and Jamie would walk across. Lungs burning with your effort to catch him, you tried one last time. “Ty! Stop! Please!” You’re not sure what made him stop, the pleading sound in your voice or the fact that you called him Ty. He turned then and saw you coming; so, you slowed your pace.

By the time you reached him, your breathing was labored and so was his. “Why did you follow me?”

“Ty, you shouldn’t be alone right now.” You sucked in a huge gulp of air, while looking at him. The guilt he was going through was written all over him. “It’s not your fault.”

“How the fuck can you say that? Of course, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so fucking stupid that night, we’d have our child here right now.” Tears were rolling down both of your faces. “I caused you to lose our baby! Can’t you see that?”

He turned away from you and you grabbed his hand to stop him. “Ty, stop! Just stop it right now. This isn’t your fault.” It felt like the tenth time that you said that to him, but it was the truth. “It wasn’t mine either. These things happen. It wasn’t until later that I found out why.”

“If you hadn’t seen that video or those photos; you’d never have been upset. If I hadn’t taken those pills.” He began to sob. It was like he hadn’t heard a word you said.

Without thinking you wrapped your arms around him hugging him as tightly as you could. “I know Ty. I know.” You cried with him; for how long, you didn’t know. Finally, you started to tell him what had happened. “I wish things were different. I blamed myself at first; thinking that if I’d put the baby first, instead of myself things would’ve been different. When I was finally able to talk to the doctor without being distraught, he told me what happened.”

He pulled back from your embrace slightly, though still had his arms around you. “What do you mean? What happened (Y/N)?”

“When he went in to do the DNC.” He looked at you not understanding the term. It was difficult enough to think about, let alone try and describe to someone; but you took a deep breath and tried. “That’s a surgical procedure they do, to…take the remains of the baby out.” More tears flooded both your eyes. It wasn’t an experience you wanted to relive. “Anyhow.” You let out a deep sigh. “While they were doing the procedure, they noticed my uterus was an abnormal shape. Apparently, that’s what caused me to miscarry. A few months later, I went in and had surgery to fix it; so, hopefully my next pregnancy won’t result the same way.” He was still looking at you, as if he was the reason this all happened. “Tyler, don’t you see. I more than likely I would’ve lost the baby anyhow. It was just bad timing.”

His hand moved to your face, wiping away the tears that you’d shed. You did the same for him. “I’m so sorry baby. You had to go through this whole thing alone. You shouldn’t have been alone. I should’ve been there.” You leaned your head into the palm of his hand, even through all your anger; you’d still wanted him to be by your side, when it all happened. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” A fat drop of rain hit your face, and soon the sky opened up pouring down on the two of you. It was washing away all your sins of the past; and now the two of you could finally breathe again. It was giving you a fresh start. His eyes locked with yours, and all the love you’d shared came flooding back. He leaned closer to you; lips parted as he had so many times before.

Time to choose. There aren’t many options here but still this choice could be pivotal.

A) Let Tyler kiss you.

B) Stop Tyler before he kisses you, you’re in love with Jamie.

C) Tell Tyler you can’t do this at the moment, your emotions are all over the place. You love Jamie, but at the same time you still love Tyler.

#Choices series Tyler Seguin Jamie Benn #tyler seguin #jamie benn #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #choices

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couplesinstitutecounseling · 4 years ago

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Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them.

I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.

After 30 years of clinical experience and specializing in working with thousands of couples, I have arrived at some guidelines that can make our work more effective. First, I do have some expectations of you. I am not neutral. I have evolved principles and concepts that I believe give us the greatest chance for success.

I believe my primary role is to help you improve your responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles. So that you may know some of my key guiding principles, I have created this document to provide clarity and focus to our work.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner — they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy

The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

The kind of life you want to build together

The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

Tradeoffs and Tough Choices

To create sustained improvement in your relationship you need:

A vision of the life you want to build together

To have a life separate from your partner because you are not joined at the hip

The appropriate attitudes and skills to work as a team

The motivation to persist

Time to review progress

To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs and tough choices for each person.

The first tradeoff will be time. It simply takes time to create a relationship that flourishes: time to be together, time to be with family, time to play, coordinate, nurture, relax, hang out and plan. This time will encroach on some other valuable areas — your personal or professional time.

The second compromise is comfort. That means emotional comfort, like going out on a limb to try novel ways of thinking or doing things, listening and being curious instead of butting in, speaking up instead of becoming resentfully compliant or withdrawing. At the beginning, there will be emotional risk taking action, but you will never explore different worlds if you always keep sight of the shoreline. In addition, few people are emotionally comfortable being confronted with how they don’t live their values or being confronted with the consequences of their actions.

The other comfort that will be challenged is energy comfort. It simply takes effort to sustain improvement over time: staying conscious of making a difference over time, remembering to be more respectful, more giving, more appreciative etc. It takes effort to remember and act.

The other effort is even more difficult for some people: that is improving their reaction to problems. For example, if one person is hypersensitive to criticism, and his/her partner is hypersensitive to feeling ignored, it will take effort to improve their sensitivity instead of hoping the partner will stop ignoring or criticizing.

In all these areas, there is generally a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of creating a satisfying relationship. The blunt reality is that, in an interdependent relationship, effort is required on the part of each person to make a sustained improvement. It is like pairs figure skating — one person cannot do most of the work and still create an exceptional team.

How to Maximize the Value from your Couples Therapy Sessions

A common yet unproductive pattern in couple’s therapy is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone’s mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.

The second unproductive pattern is showing up and saying, “I don’t know what to talk about, do you?” While this blank slate approach may open some interesting doors, it is a hit or miss process.

The third common unproductive pattern is discussing whatever fight you are now in or whatever fight you had since the last meeting. Discussing these fights/arguments without a larger context of what you wish to learn from the experience is often an exercise in spinning your wheels.

Over time, repeating these patterns will lead to the plaintive question, “Are we getting anywhere?”

A more powerful approach to your couple’s therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:

Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy.

Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don’t have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.

Important Concepts for Couples Therapy and Relationships

The following ideas can help identify areas of focus in our work and/or stimulate discussion between you and your partner between meetings. If you periodically review this list, you will discover that your reflections and associations will change over time. So please revisit this list often, it will help you keep focus during our work.

Attitude is Key

When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward change is more important than what action to take.

Identifying what to do and how to do it is often easy to identify. The bigger challenge is why you don’t do it.

How to think differently about a problem is often more effective than just trying to figure out what action to take.

Your partner is quite limited in his/her ability to respond to you. You are quite limited in your ability to respond to your partner. Accepting that is a huge step into maturity.

The definite possibility exists that you have some flawed assumptions about your partner’s motives. And that he/she has some flawed assumptions about yours. The problem is, most of the time we don’t want to believe those assumptions are flawed.

Focus on Changing Yourself Rather than Your Partner

Couples therapy works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.

Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It’s human nature to try and change one’s partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps therapists in business.

The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It’s more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.

You can’t change your partner. Your partner can’t change you. You can influence each other, but that doesn’t mean you can change each other. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship.

It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle. But when it gets bone chilling cold, you’re hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that’s when you get tested. Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.

Fear lets you know you’re not prepared. If you view fear in that mode, it becomes a signal to prepare the best you can.

You can learn a lot about yourself by understanding what annoys you and how you handle it.

The more you believe your partner should be different, the less initiative you will take to change the patterns between you.

Zen Aspects of Couples Therapy (Some Contradictions)

All major goals have built in contradictions, for example, speak up or keep the peace.

All significant growth comes from disagreements, dissatisfaction with the current status, or a striving to make things better. Paradoxically, accepting that conflict produces growth and learning to manage inevitable disagreements is the key to more harmonious relationships.

It’s not what you say. It’s what they hear.

Solutions, no matter how perfect, set the stage for new problems.

Tough Questions

Asking good questions–of yourself and your partner–helps you uncover causes beneath causes.

In a strong disagreement, do you really believe your partner is entitled to their opinion?

Under duress, do you have the courage and tenacity to seek your partner’s reality and the courage to express your reality when the stakes are high?

Why is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel and are concerned about? (Because they really can’t appreciate what they don’t understand.)

What is the price your partner will have to pay to improve their response to you? How much do you care about the price they will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay it.)

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat him/her?

If you want your partner to change, do you think about what you can do to make it easier?

When a problem shows up, it’s natural to think “What should I do about it?” A much more productive question is. “How do I aspire to be in this situation?”

The Importance of Communication

The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence.

Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.

A couple’s vision emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each.

We are all responsible for how we express ourselves, no matter how others treat us.

Communication is the number one presenting problem in couples counseling. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense

How you are communicating — whining, blaming, vague, etc.

What you want from your partner during the discussion

What the problem symbolizes to you

The outcome you want from the discussion

Your partner’s major concerns

How you can help your partner become more responsive to you

The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem.

No wonder good communication is so hard.

Some Final Thoughts.

You can’t create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what’s wrong. But it’s a start.

Grace under pressure does not spring full-grown even with the best of intentions — practice, practice and more practice. Practice the right things and you will get there.

Love is destroyed when self-interest dominates.

If you don’t know what you feel in important areas of your relationship, it is like playing high stakes poker when you see only half your cards. You will make a lot of dumb plays.

The possibility exists that we choose partners we need but don’t necessarily want.

To get to the bottom of a problem often means you first accept how complex it is.

Trust is the foundational building block of a flourishing relationship. You create trust by doing what you say you will do.

It’s impossible to be in a highly inter-dependent relationship without ever being judgmental or being judged.

If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and get it, you will pay the price by becoming dull.

If neither of you ever rocks boat, you will end up with a dull relationship

Knowledge is not power. Only knowledge that is applied is power.

Most of the ineffective things we do in relationships fall into just a few categories:

Blame or attempt to dominate

Disengage/withdraw

Resentful compliance

Whine

Denial or confusion.

These are the normal emotional reactions to feeling a threat or high stress. Improving your relationship means better management of these reactions.

Everything you do works for some part of you, even if other parts of you don’t like it.

Three motivations will govern any sustained effort you make. You will seek to: 1. Avoid pain or discomfort 2. Create more benefits 3. Be a better person. It’s also true for your partner.

If you are asking your partner to change something, sometimes it’s a good idea to ask if the change is consistent with how they aspire to be in that situation.

Businesses and marriages fail for the same three reasons. A failure to:

Learn from the past

Adapt to changing conditions

Predict probable future problems and take action.

Effective change requires insight plus action. Insight without action is passivity. Action without insight is impulsive. Insight plus action leads to clarity and power.

If you want to create a win-win solution, you cannot hold a position that has caused your partner to lose in the past.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson -Middleweight boxing champion, considered by many to be the best fighter in history, pound-for-pound.

Note: please review this document periodically as there is simply too much to absorb in one reading of it. We all will benefit from your efforts.

The following three questions help clarify and sharpen our focus.

1. What kind of relationship do you want to be in and create if you stay together? What kind of relationship makes you glad to see other at the end of the day?

Interestingly, most couples who created their own wedding vows describe a marriage that could serve as the North Star for the kind of relationship they want to co-create.

If you wrote your own vows, how well do you remember them?

Identifying the kind of relationship you desire to be in is the target, the bigger picture of why we are meeting. Otherwise, we’re just going to jump in and try to solve problems without any idea how these problems fit into a bigger picture of where you’re headed.

You don’t start packing for a trip unless you have an idea where you’re going or how long you going to be there.

2. Why is this kind of relationship important to you?

It takes motivation to do the heavy lifting that’s going to grow your relationship.

It’s often said, and I believe it, “When we lose our why, we lose our way.”

It’s a lot more than just coming in here and complaining about what your partner does and then hope for a miracle. It’s human nature to want progress without effort or emotional risk. However, desire without effort creates lifeless marriages.

3. What’s required of you, not your partner, to create this kind of marriage?

The sooner you start identifying what’s required of you, not what’s required of your partner, you are on the way to the fast track of creating change.

I also know everybody has self-protection and coping mechanisms that inhibit individual growth.

Your barriers can be those that you’ve created since you got together or resulted from negative early life experiences.

Common barriers to growth are a quick temper, being critical, disengaging, not being dependable, being furious instead of curious, etc.

Just reading all this information and reflecting on how you aspire to be a better partner is a good beginning!

If you find you need help, reach out to us for a free consultation. We can help!

#couples therapy

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queertazsecretsanta · 5 years ago

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A gift for @pri-the-writer, created by @deadbonessinderhellaton!

The Engagement Zone

Summary: Everyone’s favorite roller derby team, the Amnesty Valley Rollers, find themselves facing off against a formidable opponent who’s using a crazy new type of play! How are the Rollers ever going to best them, and look good doing it in the process? Aubrey asks for help. Dani talks tactics. Hollis makes the switch.

Notes: Aubrey’s bummed in the beginning but Dani gets her revved up again, t for swearing, some derby contact and hits but it’s all pg; nothing too wild, Trans Duck Newton, one of my biggest concerns was making sure that I showed off everyone’s derby names, after that it was describing cool derby moves, stuff like ‘plot’ came in after that…..

Part 1

Aubrey hadn’t realized just how hot she was until the water hit her face. She gasped at the chill–tilting her head back to let the last few droplets roll down her neck. You know, in this context, the bathroom is kind of freeing, she thought idly. There wasn’t anyone to see her splash water all over the floor as she cooled off, no one to see her trying to catch her breath. No one to catch her like this.

Shaking the water off her hands, she pulled out a few paper towels from the dispenser on the wall and began to rub them over her face. We’ve only been playing for an hour, she thought to herself, but it feels like it’s been days. It wasn’t the team’s fault - as the captain of the Amnesty Valley Rollers, Aubrey made sure that everyone on the roster had practiced every drill, wall, formation, and potential outcome that they could come up with, and the wins that they had scored from the previous pre-regional games were proof of that. It’s those fuckin’ Hornets, she thought bitterly. We’ve never been up against anything like them before, and it’s not like I have drills for teams who play like this-

You could have, if you thought to plan for this. A voice, one not unlike her own, cut through her thoughts. Now they’re left flailing out there in front of everyone, all thanks to their loyal, brave captain. Slowly, she lifted her head up to face her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It’s not the team’s fault, a voice whispered in the back of her mind. And it’s definitely not the Hornets fault. She put some of the towels under the running faucet and pressed them to her eyes, desperately trying to ignore the burning sensation in the back of her throat. The whole team had worked so hard, trusting my training to get them this far. They gave me everything.

“Hey.”

Dani’s figure appeared in the mirror, spattered with water from the messy cool-down earlier. In lieu of her typical long peasant skirts - the kind that Aubrey thought looked funny on herself, but that Dani could really rock - her girlfriend was decked out in the Amnesty Valley Rollers’ red and black uniform. She had a bad case of helmet hair, but to Aubrey, it didn’t matter - Dani always looked amazing. In her hand, a bottle of water was dripping with condensation. “Hey, Jake brought drinks for everyone, and I wanted to make sure that ‘The Lady Payne’ didn’t miss out,” she joked, referring to Aubrey’s derby name. Her crestfallen expression gave Dani pause. “Is- is it a bad time? I can head out if you need me to.”

“No,” Aubrey said after a moment. “No, you’re fine.” She pushed off from the sink and slowly rolled over to where Dani stood, holding out the bottle to her like she was passing a baton. She drank down half of the water before wiping her mouth with her wrist and giving a refreshed sigh. “You’re a lifesaver, babe. I was starting to melt out there.”

Dani laughed, and even through her guilt, Aubrey could feel her stomach flip. “Yeah, when you’re on roller skates and fighting your way through a crowd of people twice your size, you might get a little winded.”

“It’s not my fault everyone in West Virginia is gigantic! That mountain air does something to you all. ” She brushed an especially wild piece of hair behind Dani’s ear and brightened at her answering smile, “Besides, I think it’s actually because I have my super hot girlfriend as the brains and brawn on my team. That’ll take the wind out of anybody.”

“You know what they say about flattery, Aubrey Little.” Gently, she took Aubrey’s hand and grinned. “It will get you places.”

“I’m not kidding,” Aubrey said. “You’re the one out there selling candy bars for our annual fundraiser, or teaching people how to stand on skates during the recruitment drives, or helping me come up with new plays. We would have never gotten this far without you.”

“You save that sweet talk for your speech after we get to regionals. I want to be recognized for my contributions.”

Her comment brought Aubrey back to reality in full force, with the knowledge of what she had done sinking in. She glanced away from Dani and took a sip from her bottle. “Yeah. Regionals.”

Dani stared at her in confusion. “Aubrey? What’s wrong?”

Aubrey wasn’t great with words at the best of times, let alone in times of derby-induced panic. But whenever Dani used that tone–gentle and understanding and wanting to help–the words in her chest got knocked loose. “I… I fucked up. Back in the final part of the last period, the other team set up a trap, and I fell right into it. And I cost the team twenty points.” She let out a nervous laugh. “I-I panicked, because I couldn’t get out even when I started hip and shoulder checking. And it wasn’t like anybody on the team could come and help me because they didn’t even know what to do, because I didn’t even teach them what to do!”

Dani waited patiently until Aubrey stopped speaking. When she herself started talking, it was slow, as if she was trying to figure out what to say. “Well, yes, Aubrey. The Hornets are using zone play, which is completely new to us. There isn’t really any way short of weird, like, time-travel shenanigans, that you could have taught the Rollers how to deal with it.”

On a surface level, Aubrey was aware that Dani was just trying to help. She was more than grateful for it - Dani always had a way of finding the right things to say and the right ways to say them - but just the fact that Aubrey knew she was right made her feel like crumbling even more. “Yeah, but it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve heard of it. The big derby blogs have been talking about zone play since the beginning of the year, and three other teams in last year’s Nationals championship used it, and I chose to think that we weren’t gonna see it this early in the season. You can say I couldn’t know, but it’s my job to know. And now we’re gonna lose the whole season because of it.”

“Aubrey…” Hesitantly, Dani looked at Aubrey and spoke quietly. “Being twenty points behind the other team is not a death sentence. I mean, it’s not good, but we’re at halftime right now. We have, like, an hour left in the game. An hour and a half if we can get it to overtime.” She reached over and took Aubrey’s hand again, giving it the smallest of squeezes. “I know it looks bad, but it’s not over just yet.”

Aubrey allowed herself a glance at Dani. She knew it - she had that beautiful, stubborn, determined look on her face, the one that she got when she couldn’t be convinced of anything else. Aubrey sniffled hard and sighed. “Okay. Say we somehow figure out how to get past the Hornets’ blockers in the first loop. How do we get past them in the second loop? Or the third?”

“Mmm…” Dani looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought. “Well, what is it they’re doing that’s throwing us off, and what do you need when they’re doing it?”

“What they’re doing down there, zone play - it’s this thing where the blockers work more to try and control your moves than to physically stop you, like they’ll stop on their skates in front of you, or surround you so that you’ll move slower.”

“Huh.” Her brow furrowed as her gaze focused on something behind Aubrey. “Huuuh.” Slowly, she put one skate in front of the other, gently rolling around the room as she thought out loud to herself.

Aubrey watched intently as Dani did this. It wasn’t the first time that she’d reached out to her girlfriend for suggestions, and with Dani’s knack for tactics, she was sure that it wouldn’t be her last. To Aubrey, it made sense - Dani put just as much sweat, blood, and tears into the team as any of the other players did. If she could get them through everything else, she could get them through this, too.

After a few minutes of silence, Dani spoke. “Well, the whole idea of zone play is to control the jammer, right? What if you could get rid of that control entirely?”

As Dani explained her idea, Aubrey’s eyes grew wider and wider in excitement. The team might not have recognized how to take on the Hornets’ style, but it wasn’t like the Amnesty Valley Rollers had forgotten how to play. And this made sure that the Amnesty Valley Rollers’ skills were used. It was quick. It was decisive. It was brutal. Most important of all, it used their strengths and took advantage of the Hornets’ weaknesses, all the while ensuring that the Amnesty Valley Rollers didn’t need to know how to combat zone play. “Babe,” Aubrey breathed. “You’re a genius.”

Dani turned bright red as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and shrugged. “I watch a lot of derby footage.”

“Damn! Maybe I need to start doing that more, iron out my skills and all that.”

“Believe you me, it has nothing to do with skills, if your footwork on the track is any proof.” Gently, Dani reached out to brush a stray wrinkle from Aubrey’s uniform. “Just next time, don’t be afraid to ask us for help, ‘kay?” Ignoring the look of surprise on Aubrey’s face, she continued. “We’d hate to have you worrying by yourself and feeling the weight of the world. We can all come up with something together if anything comes up.” At this, she smiled. “Kind of like we did now.”

Aubrey could feel herself growing heated and red under Dani’s gaze. They had been dating for about two years now, but sometimes Dani did these things that just left Aubrey a gooey mess. She met Dani’s gaze and grinned. “Hell yeah, we did. But next time, I’ll see if I can’t keep you guys in the loop more often instead of like-” she winced. “Running off to avenge you all, like in Braveheart. You ever see that movie?”

The sound of skates slamming down on linoleum echoed in the distance, growing closer and louder with each step. Jake Coolice appeared in the doorway. “Aubrey, Dani, Madeline wants you to know that you have about thirty minutes ‘til halftime’s up and we start the third period. ”

“JAKE!” Aubrey’s shout sent Jake rolling backwards and bumping gently against the tiled bathroom wall. “Can you get the team together for a meeting before we start up again? Dani just came up with a really good idea, and I want to give it a shot…”

Part two

Aubrey had never been more terrified in her life.

Okay, so maybe there were moments in her life where she had been just as terrified - boarding down Death Mountain with Jake came to mind - but here, in the engagement zone, facing down the Hornets again, this particular moment stood out. Worst-case scenarios flooded her mind. What if I trip? What if the team loses track of me? What if the Hornets go and did something else entirely and they screw up our plan?

She forced the knot that tensed in her belly down and let out a nervous sigh. Just concentrate on the plan, Aubrey reminded herself. Dani had gone over the whole thing in detail during the suit-up and, as a consequence, her words echoed through Aubrey’s mind. The most important thing about this, Dani had told her earlier, is that you have to know exactly where Jake and I are, and we have to know where you are.

She could see the two of them behind her, on her far right. So far, so good, she thought to herself. In front of her were three of the Hornets’ blockers. Right in front of her, to her left, was one - NEST IN PEACE, their jersey read. To her right and further up ahead was another - MISBEEHIVING. That’s not a hornet pun, Aubrey thought irritably. They have a theme, they should stick to it! Furthest ahead, on the left, was the final blocker, a tall, wiry guy. Their jersey read KEITHING IT REAL across the back, in bold block letters. Guess they ran out of ideas.

Dani had mentioned it earlier, and now Aubrey could see the zig-zag pattern that their team set up in. I know for a fact that that’s a trap. I guess I could try to go around it, but that might throw off Jake and Dani…so the trap it is. Aubrey leaned to her left and made as if to bank between NEST and MISBEEHIVING. Immediately, the three Hornets swarmed in on her. KEITHING slammed on his brakes, forcing Aubrey to slam on her own and taking the proper fall position. MISBEEHIVING swooped in from the right, blocking off Aubrey’s escape, and while she couldn’t turn around, she could hear NEST directly behind her. Once their ranks were formed, KEITHING started picking up his speed, but only barely. The other Hornets blockers followed suit, leaving Aubrey cocooned in the middle.

If I weren’t so pissed off, she mused, I could appreciate this more. It was brilliant - by closing off her escapes and controlling her speed, they could ensure that she didn’t pass their blockers or inhibit their jammer. Not to mention they could easily push her out of bounds if she tried to break free. Ignoring the sound of her heart pounding in her chest, she sighed nervously. Now I just have to wait for-

“AUBREY, LOOK OUT!”

Jake raced in from behind on Aubrey’s right, Dani skating frantically to keep by his side. With a mighty whoop, he swung his left hip at the blockers surrounding Aubrey, sending them flying. NEST was forced backwards, teetering wildly in an effort to keep their balance. MISBEEHIVING flew past the ring’s boundaries, landing in the track’s middle circle. With a groan, MISBEEHIVING regained their stance and started their clockwise loop around the track. Aubrey herself was trying not to whoop out loud - the same team that had devastated the Rollers in the first half were barely hanging onto their–

WHAM!

Right, she thought dazedly as she was bounced back from the impact. That guy. KEITHING skated in front of Aubrey, glaring over his shoulder at her. He’s the ‘mimic my every move’ guy, right? So he’s just gonna do that again. Leaning to the right, she made to skate around him. Immediately, he caught up to her, slamming hard on his breaks, making Aubrey fly back, her eyes wide and her chest heaving. So I probably have about thirty seconds left before his teammates finish recovering and meet up with him, she thought in dismay, and then…. She racked her brain for ideas, searching for weak spots in his wall, but all that she generated was the droning static that came with panic. In the distance, she could already hear skates rushing up to meet him…

“Aubrey!”

A blur of black and red flew past her right. Her team colors. They were moving slow enough that she could make out the name on the back of their jersey: SEAL THE DEAL. Oh. That’s Jake, then. Directly behind him was another player with a black and red jersey, and a blonde ponytail that was long enough to flutter in the breeze, but not long enough to block out the name on the back: DA-KNEE YA. As she rolled by, she jerked her head to the right and gave Aubrey a knowing glance. Come on!

Ohhh. Realization hit Aubrey like a wave as she reached out and grasped Dani’s hips, coasting forward on her momentum. From the corner of her eye, she could see KEITHING scrambling to catch up with them as Jake battered him back. The Hornet needn’t have bothered - she and Dani were already leagues ahead. Once safely past him, she tilted her head back to look at Aubrey. “You ready?”

No, Aubrey thought. “Yeah!” Aubrey said. In response, Dani nodded in response and returned her focus to the track, bending her knees a little to give Aubrey the room for what she needed to do. Guess I can’t make Dani do this by herself, Aubrey thought nervously as she drew herself closer to her girlfriend. With as much effort as she could muster, she pushed off from Dani’s hips, rocketing herself past her girlfriend, past the Rollers’ other two blockers, and past the Hornets’ final blocker and their jammer.

She broke out of the engagement zone in no time, her lungs and skates screaming with the crowd as she darted forward. Upon rounding the track, she was able to see a little more of the action occurring behind her. For all of the hell that the Hornets’ strategy gave them, it was evident that they still needed to work on it. They had put only one of their blockers with their jammer, leaving them helpless against the onslaught that the Amnesty Valley Roller’s other two jammers, DUCK AND COVER and NIGHT OF THE LIVING NED, were laying down. From her vantage point, Aubrey could see the Hornets’ blocker slam on their skates in front of them, just as KEITHING had done to her earlier. Duck didn’t even stop skating to sweep them aside with a devastating shoulder check, the trans pride flag that he wore around his shoulders fluttering dramatically behind him. Meanwhile, the Hornets’ jammer - SUPERFLY, according to their jersey - was flitting about behind the two of them, fruitlessly trying to break through their wall. In an attempt to free them, the Hornets’ other three blockers had joined the fray, Jake and Dani following after to try and stop them. Quickly, the players became enmeshed in a pit of flailing limbs, flying skates, and shouted swears. And they say derby’s boring, Aubrey thought smugly.

From the middle of the pit, Aubrey could see a black and yellow something fly forward - the Hornets’ jammer cap. The blocker - no, the pivot, she realized in horror - in front of Duck and Ned caught it effortlessly and slid it over their helmet, taking off immediately from the mass of players. Even from her distance, Aubrey could see Jake and Dani talking with each other as they raced after the pivot, literally strategizing on the fly. For her part, she leaned forward and desperately worked to increase her speed, but it wasn’t long before she heard the sound of skates behind her. In no time at all, the two of them were neck and neck, racing towards the start of the engagement zone. From what Aubrey could make out, they were short, muscular, compactly built, and fast as hell - the perfect pivot, essentially. Driven, too - they barely even acknowledged Aubrey as they barreled down the track, concentrating entirely on passing her and navigating the track. Not a bad idea, Aubrey thought, To see who’s up ahead. She herself checked the track. First up was Dani and Jake blocking-

Wait. Aubrey cut her speed, letting the pivot skate past her. “You go on ahead,” she said politely. Jarringly, it was the only time that Aubrey found herself able to generate a reaction from the pivot: they looked back to give her a confused, annoyed glare, but a reaction nonetheless. Shrugging, they turned around and continued racing ahead…

Straight into Dani and Jake.

Aubrey counted herself lucky to catch sight of it all as she skated past. It was something straight out of Derby 101 - the Hornets’ pivot shoulder checked and thrashed against the wall that Jake and Dani had forged, but it was clear that the two weren’t going anywhere. It was now that Aubrey could get a good look at their jersey name - MAULLIS. Jake held steady throughout their assault, never flinching when checked and delivering blows back with deadly precision. Holding out on the other side was Dani, keeping the wall up throughout it all, shouting out commands and calling to Jake for help when she needed him. She was cool under fire, never once showing panic or unease, and maintaining the situation with a sort of casual grace. Just like off the track, Aubrey thought proudly.

The two didn’t say much to Aubrey while she passed them. She didn’t mind - they seemed preoccupied. Guess I’ll be too, she thought as she saw the Hornets’ blockers up ahead. KEITHING had joined ranks with NEST IN PEACE again, abandoning the zig-zag pattern of zone play to stand side-by-side, the two of them wearing a look suggesting that they were eager for revenge. Oh, so now they’re doing walls, Aubrey noted with irritation, before shrugging. Nothing we can’t handle.

As she raced ahead, a voice cut through the cheers of the audience, the muffled curses of the players, and the squeal of skates on the floor below:

“Give ‘em hell, Aubrey!”

Seconds before impacting the Hornets’ blockers, Aubrey beamed. “You know it, Dani!”

~~~

Glossary:

Flat track: A roller derby track that is…flat. It’s often made with masking or duct tape.

Blocker: They try and stop the other team’s jammer from passing them and scoring points against their team, while trying to advance their own team’s jammer. There can be four of them on a track at a time. They don’t have any symbol on their helmet cover.

Jammer: The point scorer in roller derby, so to speak. Their job is to pass the other team’s blockers and score points for their own team. They’re identified by the star on their helmet cover.

Pivot: Someone who can serve as a blocker or a jammer. They can serve as a jammer if the jammer gives them the star cap. They’re identified by the stripe on their helmet, unless they’re wearing the jammer cap.

Engagement zone: the ten feet of space where blockers and pivots can block, serve hits, and prevent jammers and pivots from passing blockers. Outside of it, only jammers can block, hit, etc. each other.

Quick rules:

An average game lasts about four periods, each period being thirty minutes each, with the first and second half having two periods each.

The goal is for each team to aid their jammer in passing other team’s blockers, and by doing that, score points for their own team, while preventing the other team’s jammers from passing their blockers.

Don’t hit anyone in the head or the stomach.

#pri-the-writer #deadbonessinderhellaton #queercandlenights #taz #the adventure zone #aubrey #dani #danbrey #fic #submission

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icedanceupstarts · 6 years ago

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Ice Dance Musings and Lake Placid Impressions

Much like the skaters themselves, we're still shaking off the rust of the off-season, but here are some thoughts and impressions, first in general, and then the seniors at Lake Placid.

1. The Broadway RD theme is the best idea the ISU has come up with in ages and we will hear no word against it

2. We will hear many words against the outrageous exclusion of the dancey stop in the Finnstep pattern, a tragedy and a crime.

3. There's no better way to remind yourself of all the seemingly small rule changes than watching new programs and seeing a bunch of things you've never seen before show up in each program

4. Currently not seeing a single clear leader or two in Junior ice dance, which is very exciting. The field is always great to watch but looks particularly outstanding and intriguing this year.

5. The knowledge of the inexorable passage of time will not stop us from getting emotional over the babies growing up.

Smart/Diaz

Starting off the season with a win! They were only 4th in the RD despite her astoundingly appropriate Bad Sandy hair, but more than made up the ground in the free. We're maybe a little(a lot) dubious about that 114 but they were actually quite polished and prepared for this time of year, more so than their competition. Their Grease RD shows off their sass and is a good challenge for them portraying such distinctive characters.

We've watched a lot of ice dance this weekend, and we've seen free dances run the gamut from insta-love to promising to ehhhhh, but Smart/Diaz have the dubious honor of having the only free dance that made us feel like we were losing our grip on reality, so that's fun. We were actually with them for the first minute of wacky, yet precisely executed clown antics, including a mid twizzle sequence cartwheel, but then the voiceover kicked in and suddenly we were lost. We've loved fun, weird circus programs in the past, but those have never included introspective voiceovers about rain and the nature of happiness. We were not prepared for an examination of the complicated inner life and emotions of clowns. By the time the music switched back to pure circus, we were too bewildered to even enjoy it on that level anymore. Maybe we're just uncultured rubes who aren't open-minded enough to appreciate this artistic innovation, but currently we are confusion.

Carreira/Ponomarenko

The second year seniors came a matching second in both segments and overall in a nice start to the season. They've been talking in interviews about how they wanted to up the difficulty of their programs and definitely delivered, not only upgrading their elements but increasing their transitions, complexity of their usage of the ice surface, and spending more time in hold. From a performance aspect their sassy RD is farther along at this point, as it's a natural fit for their brand of showmanship. It's only been a year without a fun Carreira/Ponomarenko program but it felt longer and we're thrilled to have them back. Their flamenco free dance is currently surprisingly subtle and nuanced, when a more dramatic approach would probably be easier for them, but it's a good stretch for them, and it's early enough that they could always change their minds and go for something more in your face.

McNamara/Carpenter

They apparently skated well in the RD, winning that segment, although all we can say about that is the costumes are nice and Liza Minelli is always a bonus. Their new free dance continues in the more modern, lyrical style they started exploring last season. They've introduced quite a few new elements and skate with such passion we actually forgot that the first piece of music they're using is kind of a dreary funeral dirge. That's the kind of trick you can pull off when you're at this level. The final third of their free dance switches to a more dynamic Adele piece in a music cut we don't love, and while they're not quite skating up to that energy yet, they've got plenty of time for tweaks in both choreo and performance.

Soucisse/Firus

A favorite of ours, Soucisse/Firus brought their signature pizzazz to both programs. Or so we assume, as their RD is currently still a mystery beyond the cute pink dress she wore. The free dance though! A return to their strengths of classy, upbeat elegance after their rocky season, it's a really nice program. They’re still warming up but the lightness and energy is already a great fit for them. Hopefully having a new, strong program that they feel comfortable with from the start will boost their confidence and make them more consistent this upcoming season, as they'll have to fight for that third Canadian spot.

Green/Parsons

When asked about their partnership some weeks back, we mentioned as a potential pro that having two strong skaters who grew up learning the same technique could be quite the boon, but we may have underestimated just how much that would be the case. Particularly in the rhythm dance where they finished a narrow third behind M/C and C/P, although once more all we can really say about that is that those are some interesting costumes. The free dance had some wobbles but they're coming together really well, good flow through step sequences and matching timing on their elements. Caroline is adjusting well to the senior level, no doubt helped by having such a wonderful and experienced partner.

Lanaghan/Razgulajevs

Canada's a hard field to make a dent in at the moment but they've made great strides over the summer. Their new free dance is actually quite nice, and a low key highlight of the competition. It's light and dreamy, and deceptively difficult. Very pleasant surprise!

Min/Eaton

They sat out last season to gel after the somewhat… unfortunate demise of their previous partnerships, but they're looking good together now. Their RD is a perfectly charming take on 42nd Street. Their FD is an ode to really good US Men SPs, if somewhat disjointed. You can see that they're still adjusting to each other, but they should make a nice addition to the world scene as they continue to gel.

#season: 2019 2020 #lake placid international 2019 #ice dance #recap

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kkruml · 7 years ago

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I don’t even know your name Chapter 23

Ok gang. For anyone still hanging around for this thing- Here’s the last one.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been talked into an epilogue, but for all intents and purposes, this is it.

I got all sappy and emotional yesterday so this is a simple THANK YOU to everyone who liked, commented, and reblogged this and who has just been a positive member of this fandom. You are all lovely.

Shout out to the lady who saw the VERY FIRST 100 words of anything even closely resembling fan fic (before I deleted it). @ecampbellsoup you are a stunning example of what humanity looks like at its best and I love ye for it and so much more.

@missclairebelle You just get me and I’m grateful for you. THANK YOU for everything you gave to this story.

@smoakingwaffles - What can I say that hasn’t been said? 23 chapters. WE DID IT. This entire story is dedicated to you.

AO3

Previously

“Jamie, I-” I stuttered, closing my eyes, unsure of how to continue. I wanted to respect tradition; I wanted to give Jamie the gift of his parents’ words on our wedding day. But where was I in all of this?

The crease in his brow faded and the grip on my arm relaxed as he took in my face. His gaze was intense and I fought to hold it, feeling suddenly dwarfed by his imposing shoulders- shoulders that just the night before had hovered over me as he found surrender.

I cleared my throat as I struggled to clear my thoughts and continue. “I know how important these traditions are, and I want to give you all of it. I just-”

Two deep breaths.

“I just don’t know where Claire Beauchamp is in any of this,” my words came fast and as I finished I felt breathless, empty. The words I had swallowed for the last several months were now lingering between us.

He said nothing but a ghost of a smile played at his lips as he nodded slowly. I caught a flicker of something I couldn’t name in his eyes as he held my stare. He took my hand and kissed my knuckles softly.

One week.

Then I would no longer be Claire Beauchamp.

I would be Claire Fraser.

CLAIRE

Two days to go.

“Just one last turn at the seamstress- the tartan isna quite right.” Jenny’s voice was in full force but she took an extra breath to soften it a little.

This was our last pre-wedding visit and the café had cleared out as we sipped the last of our tea. Over the last several weeks, we had settled into a comfortable friendship, an easiness that quickly developed into kinship.

The Fraser genetics were strong; certain gestures would catch my eye and I saw glimpses of Jamie- a quirk of an eyebrow or a deep exhale in frustration. She was strong and fierce when it came to her family-which now included me, I had to constantly remind myself- and I loved her for it.

“Erm... Okay yes of course.” My voice was soft and lacked conviction. The dress had looked fine to me- though I had little knowledge of just how the plaid was supposed to be arranged, folded, and tucked into my gown, so I just nodded and tried for a smile.

“We’re almost done Claire. I ken this is a lot for ye, seein’ as ye dinna grow up wi’ so many traditions as Jamie.” Her voice was kind and she gently squeezed my left hand, her finger grazed the ring- pausing on the engraved thistle. She smiled softly as she released my hand, adding with a chuckle, “Ye may be a Sassenach, but we’ll make a Scot of you yet.”

I laughed with her as my right hand traced the side of my cup. The reality of her words hit my chest and I felt my heartbeat quicken, both in excitement and in anticipation.

“Are ye okay, Sassenach?”

Two deep breaths.

“Yes.”

I was not convincing- with a single glance, Jamie read my glass face. One hand cupped my head while large fingers massaged my scalp. He whispered words I didn’t quite understand but closed my eyes and let his voice and touch seep into my bones. After a few moments I felt calm and I leaned back, tilting my head up and he brought his mouth down to mine.

His lips were soft and warm, but he pulled away before I was ready. The noise that escaped me curled his lips at the corners and his fingers tightened around my curls momentarily before releasing me.

“I do love yer squeaky noises,” he laughed lightly as he slid into the chair beside me.

An earnest laugh emanated from my chest as I shook my head, “I do not make squeaky noises.”

“As ye say, mo chridhe,” his eyes softened as he said the word and I felt a flutter in my chest. I watched him grab the whisky bottle as he refilled my glass. I stretched my legs across his lap, my calf fitting in the space between his thighs, my feet dangling just slightly over. I blinked slowly, eyes unfocused on the table in front of me.

“What’s on yer mind?” He reached for my glass, taking a gulp of the amber liquid before setting it back down in front of me. “I can hear somethin’ rattlin’ round fierce up there.”

“It’s just…” I was stalling. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.” His voice was steady. “Ye ken that- right, Sassenach?”

I looked up from the table to see a calm deep blue staring back at me. I nodded and tried for a smile.

“The wedding-”

His brow flickered and his eyes widened but he regained control almost immediately, forcing my words to come quickly.

“Oh god NO- No Jamie, I’m not having second thoughts.” I could hear the panic in my voice as I leaned forward, my fingers searching for his. Finding one large hand resting on my thigh, I squeezed it with both hands.

“Ye sure?” his voice was thick with concern but he tried to hide it with a small smile as his other hand reached for and gently held the arch of my foot-lightly tickling it. “Are ye havin’ cold feet?”

I squirmed and tried to pull my foot but he grabbed my ankle, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

I recognized the gesture- he had done it before, many times. After long shifts or tough patient cases, he would find me thoroughly wrapped up in my own thoughts, and his hand would find one of a thousand ticklish spots on my body and gently caress it. Without fail, it would bring me back to the present and break down the cascade of thoughts I was drowning in.

“Aye, still no’ a squeak, ye say?” He tried for a wink as he loosened his grip and set his hand on a safe spot and my muscles relaxed.

A slight silence hung between the two of us and I felt the weight of my words returned.

“Your world is just so much… bigger than mine.” I brought my hands to my forehead, rubbing my temples as I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath before I opened them again and looked at him. “It’s just… I feel… adrift. I’m afraid “we” are going to get lost in all of this and… I won’t get to tell you what’s in my heart.”

He brought his body to me, hugged me and let his lips hover against my forehead as his breath came in waves, steady on my skin.

JAMIE

He could see her body slightly relax but still her frame looked contorted, almost foreign.

Adrift.

The word cut deep to his core and he flinched at the thought of it. He blinked hard, eyes focused on a curl of her hair as he rested his chin against her forehead.

Tradition was important to him- as old as the Highlands themselves. He wanted everything he was, including those traditions, to be offered to her. But she was his Claire. He was hers- irrevocably. He would lay himself bare, drop to his knees, and give up everything he was- for her.

The pageantry of the ceremony and reception had filled the space between them for the last several weeks, and he felt a sudden need to anchor himself to her- and her to him.

Flashes of an idea skated across his vision and he smiled into her curls. But that could come later. For tonight, he let his fingers linger in her hair and he slowly shifted closer to her, eager.

CLAIRE

One day to go.

Our bed was empty. Jamie had risen early, before I woke. I stretched my limbs, feeling a peculiar laziness coupled with a sensation of heady fulfillment from the night before. He had been both gentle and intoxicating last night, and the effects were still lingering in my bones as I floated somewhere between sleep and waking.

I had felt the drip of water from his curls as he mumbled a few sweet words into my cheek before leaving. Last minute preparations at the distillery.

The day surged ahead as texts came with lightning speed. Final checks on the dress, flowers, cake. The screen of my phone lit with a pulsing frequency; after a flurry of texts and a few missed calls, I had had enough. I was just about to shut my phone off when the screen lit up and it rang.

Joe.

Hearing from him was like a breath of fresh air.

I swiped the screen to answer and felt a sigh escape my lips.

“Hey hey, Lady Jane.”

“Joe!” I felt a lightness to my tone I hadn’t recognized in weeks and let my lips form a full smile as I reveled in the feeling. “It’s so good to hear your voice!”

“Surprised you recognized me, what with all the wedding hoopla.”

I knew he was joking but I felt my heart constrict and my breath caught in my chest. It felt like an eternity since I had seen him or Gail, or discussed anything other than patient cases or the infinite details of the wedding.

“Don’t cry on me now LJ or there’ll be no more tears for the big day,” his voice was laced with sincerity but I knew he was trying to lighten the mood. “So, you ready to go?”

“What you do you mean?”

“I’m downstairs; get your skinny white ass down here. I’m taking you to lunch.”

“Joe I couldn’t possibly- there’s so much to do.”

“Nonsense. I’ve got you covered,” I caught the smile on the other end of the phone, and I returned it.

JAMIE

Murtagh’s eyebrows danced across his forehead as he surveyed Jamie, fingers tracing the lines of the object in his hand. “Yer parents would be proud.”

“Aye?” he asked, a flicker of nerves crept into his voice as he cleared his throat. His hands moved with purpose but he noted a slight tremble to them. He clenched his hands into fists and released them, watching his fingers steady as he stretched them back out.

“I wasna sure there was a right woman for ye, but-” Jamie caught his uncle’s smile out of the corner of his eye and he paused, turning to face him. Murtagh nodded slowly, looking up to meet Jamie’s stare. “Claire has the sweetest smile. Havena seen one sae pure since yer mother.”

Jamie smiled and sighed. The only thing missing- his mam and da. He knew they would give their blessing, that they would have fallen for Claire just as he had. But in their absence, he was grateful to his kinsman for his approval.

Murtagh turned the pin over in his hands, softly repeating the inscription as he rubbed the metal to a polished shine. He kissed it gently before holding it out to Jamie.

He nodded, taking it carefully. After a moment, he raised his arms slightly as he presented himself for approval. “…Well?”

Murtagh’s voice was gruff but he heard the undercurrent of pride in his voice, “Ye’ll do.”

CLAIRE

The afternoon felt almost normal. Joe had confiscated my phone, turning it off and pocketing it. My initial panic was soon replaced with gratitude. I needed a few precious hours of normalcy before tomorrow. If anyone really needed me the list of whom to call would be short, and they’d find Joe.

We took up residence at our spot at Broch Mordha. The bottles still lined the brick wall, dotted with Edison bulbs. I settled into my barstool and shook my head, thinking back to the night we celebrated the end of medical school- the first time I saw Jamie. Since then we had spent countless nights here, glasses set atop the bar as we discussed future plans and recounted old memories. We ordered our usual drinks, sank into our seats, and talked about everything but the wedding and time seemed to stand still.

With a heavy sigh as our laughter died down, I looked down at my glass- disappointed to see it empty. The lingering taste of Glen Grant played at my tongue and the stress of the last few weeks slowly melted away and I felt content.

Joe eyed the clock behind the bar and smiled. He shifted towards me, his hand pulling out a small piece of paper from his breast pocket. A crisp, white, precisely folded note was suspended between his thumb and index finger, held out for me. I took it gently, my eyebrows pressed together as I eyed Joe’s face. He kept his expression passive and shifted back towards his glass.

I slowly unfolded the paper, noting the precision of the fold.

“Sassenach-

Join me for a hike.

Direach Sinn.

JAMMF”

I looked at him with eyes wide, mouth open, speechless.

“Joe…” I felt tears threaten.

“The man is pretty stubborn, I’ll give him that.” He said with a laugh and shake of his head.

“Yes, I know,” I matched his smile, my fingers tracing each letter on the paper.

“I wasn’t so sure about him at first, LJ. Seemed too good to be true, thought he was like all the rest.” He tilted his head, and I met his gaze, “But he’s your match, the other half of you- neither of you whole without the other.”

I felt my chin tremble as I nodded, smiling with a laugh, “You’re bloody right- as always, Joe.”

“Well you should get going, hm?”

I took one more moment before reaching for him, embracing him in a rib-crushing hug and giving a quick peck on the cheek. “Thank you, Joe.”

“Anything for you, Lady Jane.” His arms encompassed me for a final moment before releasing me. With hands firmly set on my shoulders, he gave a wink before sending me on my way.

The hike was peaceful, but I felt an anticipation building with each step. I hadn’t seen Jamie all day and relished the thought of a few quiet moments in what had become our spot before the big day. I didn’t need much, just his steady calm next to me.

As I crested the hill, I was struck by the view. Vibrant purple and red of sunset streaked the sky, but they paled in comparison to the man standing in front of me.

A Highlander in full regalia was a sight to behold. His auburn curls burned like a match against the glow of the horizon. His navy blue jacket popped against the white of his button down shirt; his tie was tucked snugly, perfectly, into his vest and the distinctive Fraser plaid of his kilt hung precisely from his trim waist. A length of plaid draped over his left shoulder- secured with a pin.

I stopped short, taking in the breathtaking beauty that was Jamie.

His smile lit his face and I saw a flash of pride in his eyes as my gaze met his.

“Mo Nighean Donn,” he held out a hand to me and I took a few steps forward, the world around me froze and then melted away and all I could see was Jamie.

His hand closed around mine, squeezing gently and I felt a rush of warmth encompass me.

His voice was low and his accent thick but his eyes shone with a light I remembered from the first time we kissed- expectation mixed with contentment. “I ken ye dinna want or need a big weddin.’ It’s just you and me here. No one else.”

“Direach Sinn,” I said, trying for the lilt but failing.

He smiled back at me, a look of pride on his face. “Aye, Sassenach. Just us.”

He took both my hands in his and took a deep breath before he started.

“Claire,” his voice caressed my name and my heartbeat quickened. “I dinna have enough words to tell ye how much I love ye. But I vow to spend every day for the rest of my life tryin’ to show ye. I give ye my body to serve and protect ye. I give ye my name, my clan, and my family to ye. I give ye the very beat of my heart.”

He paused, raising my left hand to his lips, kissing the ring softly. My vision blurred with tears as I took in his face and tried to memorize every sound of his words as he spoke them.

“Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone.” His voice continued, stronger and clearer than I had ever heard it. “I give ye my spirit- and all that I am, till our lives shall be done.”

Wisps of curls tickled my cheek but I could not move or look away from his face. His eyes pierced through me, a clear, deep blue stare filled with a weight I had never seen nor felt before. I took his other hand and kissed it, squeezing both hands gently as I tried to steady myself.

Two deep breaths.

I conjured the words I had played over in my head; words he had written on my heart, and that had danced on my tongue since we met.

“Jamie,” his name came out as a whisper. “Whatever lies ahead for us, I want you by my side- to turn to for comfort, for security, and most of all, I want to celebrate and live this life with you. I vow to keep the home we have found in each other, forever.”

His hands released from my grip, one finding my waist and pulling me closer to him, the other rested against the line of my cheek. His breath shook slightly as his lips met mine. He was warm and steady and I felt the fulfillment of every ache, need, wish, hope, and promise between us. His arms held me tight as the world around us fell away and all that existed was him and me.

When our lips parted, I felt his smile and I opened my eyes to see his hooded, a heady mix of awe and wonder staring back at me. He nodded slowly, placing a final kiss on my forehead before relaxing his hold on me, creating a breath of space between us.

“It’s only proper to toast after a vow, aye?” He tried for a wink as his hand traveled to his sporran, producing the familiar leather flask.

A giggle escaped my lips as I shook my head. “You bloody Scot. You’d do just about anything for a bit of whisky, aye?”

“Ye ken ye are marryin’ a lad who makes whisky for a livin’. Of course I am goin’ to take my CEBF where ever I go.”

I eyed him for a final moment, cocking my head to one side as I took a sip from the flask. I hummed in appreciation as the current of honey and almond filled my senses. I tipped the flask to Jamie and he took it, taking a long pull without breaking eye contact. I felt flush as a smile formed on his lips and I matched it.

My eyes lingered to the pin tucked into his tartan plaid just above his heart. “What’s this?”

“My clan-” he paused, a smile spreading across his face as he continued, “Our clan’s motto.”

“Je Suis Prest?” I asked.

“Aye,” his voice was barely audible. “I am ready.”

I could feel his eyes linger on me as he waited. I smiled as I lifted my eyes to meet his. “Yes, I am.”

His hands cupped my cheek as he brought my face to his. I felt the electricity pulse between us as my arms circled around his neck, holding him close.

We had bared our hearts to each other; our souls were fused with the promises spoken. To me, to us, this was our ceremony.

Jamie was my husband, and I was now his wife.

The rest of it, it was a celebration. I had what I wanted, what I needed. I was finally Claire Fraser.

Tomorrow would be the first day of our marriage, and that I intended to celebrate.

But tonight, in this moment, I filled every sense with the promise of Jamie and me. Together, we watched as the sun crested over the ridge, the colors faded around us as a soft glow encapsulated us. We held each other, a promise of a thousand tomorrows wrapped around us.

#IDEKYN fic #i don't even know your name fic #outlander #outlander fan fic #fan fic #this is the last one guys #except maybe an epilogue #ok thats happening #but still #curtain call #thank you EVERYONE for reading #is it really over #denial #beta notes for the WIN #tat is the queen of all things #and i owe my kidney #and maybe first born #to her greatness

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analyticalartistthoughts · 4 years ago

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You have found your clone, now what?!

Recap from the previous episode...

There are a few factors that come into play that assist in helping the feeling of being connected in social media. Feeling that you belong via likes and comments fulfills our basic psychological need as a human. Finding others that share the same likes and dislikes can be described as homophily. Homophily is the illustration of a bond between like-minded individuals, the gravitational pull you feel when you find someone who shares the same interests. Read more here about the psychological meaning behind feeling connected through social media: https://analyticalartistthoughts.tumblr.com/post/644796290661744640/connection-found

Algorithms or Tunnel Vision?

The feeling of being connected in social media and being surrounded by like-minded individuals, homophily, exists mostly due to algorithms. Algorithms are the back-end systems working within social media networking platforms to show each person what they want to see. Algorithms cater to an individual’s likes and even dislikes. “People are shown things that appeal most to them, they click, they read, they watch, they fall into rabbit holes that reinforce their thoughts and ideas, they connect with like-minded people. They end up in their own personalized version of reality,” (Stern, 2021).

For example, Lucy enjoys reading and roller skating in the park near her home. Lucy completes frequent google searches about the best roller skates and searches for libraries in her area. If she were to open her Facebook account, her timeline may consist of businesses selling roller skates or advertisements for accessories to make reading books more enjoyable.

Just as easily as algorithms show us what we like, they also avoid showing us what we do not like. There may be options to report advertisements that do not interest you, which will advise the social media network site not to show any ads like the culprit ad.

But imagine a world where we are surrounded by different versions of ourselves. Yikes!

Our social media timelines are filled with like-minded people that enjoy the same things and dislike the same things. Every individual on our timeline will confirm any idea or bias, positive or negative. This can lead to possible risks in social media. If an individual comes across someone else who does not share the same beliefs or interests, it could result in cyber bullying. With a timeline of like-minded individuals that share the same beliefs, this could lead to groups of people ganging up on one person.

The sense of belonging to a community that supports your beliefs has positive and negative consequences. While on one hand, you have found people that can empathize and understand because they share the same interests as you. There is a chance that the support you are receiving is positive support for a negative topic. For example, a study was completed to “investigate the presence, popularity, and content of the ‘proana’ accounts on Twitter,” (Bert, Gualano, Camussi & Siliquini, 2016). “Proana” described a community of people that were pro anorexia nervosa. A group of people shared the same belief that anorexia was not a negative issue and those people supported each other and grew a community. This can be a potential risk with the feeling of homophily, it is possible to dismiss moral and logic.

Shake it off!

To combat these possible risks, the best possible solution is to maintain curiosity and an open mind. It is quite okay to not share the same beliefs as someone else but take some time to understand how that person developed those beliefs and the foundation behind it. You may surprise yourself with this new knowledge!

References:

Fabrizio, B., Gualano, M. R., Camussi, E., & Siliquini, R. (2016). Risks and threats of social media websites: Twitter and the Proana movement. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19(4), 233–238.

Stern, J. (2021, January). Social-Media Algorithms Rule How We See the World. Good Luck Trying to Stop Them. The Wall Street Journal. https://www.wsj.com/articles/social-media-algorithms-rule-how-we-see-the-world-good-luck-trying-to-stop-them-11610884800

#social media #algorithms #homophily #community

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noctisluciscaelumcxiv · 7 years ago

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In Which Chiyo Wastes Your Time For A Joke

background: i like mystery diners alot. i watch it alot. i decided to tell a joke about it. here it is under cut. ENJOY!

In Which Chiyo Wastes Your Time For A Joke

*bre,,,,gaymie,,,,,olivia...im so sorry in advance that you had to read this.

“Hey it’s me, Charles Stiles, I’m with a company called Mystery Diners.”

Whether you asked or not, he will always greet you with this single phrase. Mystery Diners is a “reality TV show” that focuses on weeding out the bad seeds of a certain food service. Many episodes revolve around finding the culprit responsible for a host of problems that the food service is having. Usually, via a three act structure, the problem is solved within the 20 minute time frame. The show is Produced by the T Group Productions, makers of such classics as Swamp Hunters and I Catfished My Kid. Many have accused the show of being staged, though Charles Stiles of Mystery DIners denies these claims. Who is this Charles Stiles? Well, he is the owner of California-based Business Evaluation Services and Mystery Shopper Services. These services are for companies to secretly test that their customer service is up to par by hiring “Mystery SHoppeers” to evaluate them. From the website:

“Mystery shopping is one of the most traditional and effective methods for gathering feedback on your guests’ experience. You can gain valuable insight into how your customers feel about doing business with your company.”

THe show is an extension of these services, televised and dramaticized for our viewing pleasure. There’s many things a bit...off about the show. It’s a bit hard to put your finger on it, but once you sit and watch a few minutes, it starts to become clear. It’s very obviously a put on. Many episodes have “conflicts” that are are so absurd, one wonders how anyone could actually take it seriously. The “Action Burger” episode is quite a good place to start for how ridiculous this show can be.

Before tackling this episode, you must first understand the structure of the show. This is VITAL. The sho is split into three separate sections: The Consultation, The Sting and The Confrontation. Sometimes an optional fourth chapter is added to the story, The Restaurant Update. OH. There’s one thing before the show can actually start! The One Minute Advertisement. This is where the food service owner has a short section to sell their product. It usually ends up being them talking about thier most popular dishes. The Consultation is next. This is where Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners sits down with the disgruntled owners and talks about the issue. Problems range from “I think someone is rigging my poetry night,” “There’s a Suspicious Christmas Elf outside my shop,” or “I think my mother is stealing my secret Krabby Patty Formula.” No matter the problem, 90% of them boil down to a petty money making scheme by one of the employees or a scam. During this section, we also see the Control Room Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners sets up. He goes over how many hidden cameras he has placed throughout the perimeter of the area. He also introduces his Mystery Diners here. These are the people who infiltrate the restaurant to uncover clues that will help solve the mystery. They pose as guests or workers to do so.

Next we have the Sting, which is the true meat and potatoes of each Episode. This is where the juicy stuff happens. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners and the owner sit in the control room and survey the restaurant on a usual day of service. It becomes quickly obvious to the viewer just who the culprit is usually within the first few moments. Sometimes a red herring will be thrown in, like a skeevy worker who seems to be stealing or talking negatively about the restaurant. Almost always, this person is revealed to either an accomplice to the crimes, or a misunderstood worker. Surveillance work is a unpredictable job. Cameras or microphone can fail, and unforeseen situations may arise. In these cases, Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners may have a ace in the hole. Things like drones, roller skate robots or hacking devices are not uncommon in the later seasons. Even with all these gadgets, the unpredictable may still happen. In these cases the Sting is usually cut short with Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners proudly proclaiming, “I think we have enough evidence to close this case. Why don’t you go down there and stop *whatever is going on* and bring them back up here!” This is immediately followed by--

The Confrontation! This is the most EXPLOSIVE part of any episode. Tensions are running high as the owner confronts the inept, wrongdoers. Often, this can lead to hands flying and tears streaming. Sometimes other customers get involved, sometimes other scams are revealed. In all cases, the offenders are fired or quit and those who were wrapped into a world of debauchery by the offenders are let off with a mild talking to. This section usually ends with the owner offering his eternal gratitude to Charle Stiles of Mystery Diners. They may even throw in a meal, on the house of course! A few weeks later an update of the restaurant is given. All problems are solved and nothing is awry. All’s well that ends well.

With the basic structure of the show down, it is time to take a closer look at an episode, “Action Burger.” Well...the offical episode title is actually “Comic Book Caper.” This is episode 6 (133 overall) in season 11 released December 30, 2015.

After the intro, we meet Vlane Carter, our protagonist for today.

(Vlane Carter, our tragic Hero)

His restaurant is a combination of his passions in life, “sci-fi comics, and FOOD.” One mouth watering explanation of his menu later (it’s spit into “villain” dishes and “hero” dishes. From how he explains it, it seems that villain dishes are quite fattening and greasy while hero dishes are more on the healthy side.), we get yet ANOTHER explanation (though not as tasty) about Vlane’s comic, Bio-Sapien. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is in awe of our great protagonist’s skills. Through this Consultation, we learn that a few of Vlane’s valuable comics keep going missing.

(valued at $155)

(valued at $75)

(valued at $750)

He suspects, Gary the Manager, Keenan(?) the Cashier and John the Cook. He also wants to know about the more mundane issue of employees arguing with customers over comic books. Denis, our P.I., infers that maybe someone is stealing the comics….to re sell them! He’s gotta look more into that though, one can never be sure with crimes like these. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners ensures Vlane that “...At the end of the day, you’ll have your answers, I can assure you of that!” and we are thrust into the STING.

(today’s Control Room. Vlane’s exclamations of “SO HIGH TECH” leave the viewer breathless at such an astonishing show of technology.)

We go over camera placements (not as detail heavy as earlier episodes, lasting only a few seconds) and once again go over our suspects. Gary is said to be our least likely suspect, thought Vlane doesn’t have many negative comments regarding any of the suspects. Denis returns with nothing bad to say about the employees either. He says that all the local pawn shops no nothing of the stolen artifacts and it seems like this case may be lost forever… Until he whips out his 1999 Padger to show that he did indeed find the comics being auctioned off online. It seems as though the

comics have already been *gasp* sold! Denis leaves his “pad” with Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners just in case any other comics pop up.

(Our Mystery Diner for today.)

We are introduced to our Mystery Diner Beatrice (who makes sure let the audience how tasty the food is and how knowledgeable the staff is about comics). THis mini commercial is cut show by Gary arguing who the better batman is with a customer. The tensions run high in this scene, and they soon burst as the custmer Omar storms out. Or rather, is basically thrown out by Gary.

(Even the customers tremble at such a heated debate.)

We are then introduced to the most bizarre thing in this restaurant, Bellona. This is a young woman hired by Vlane to cosplay as his comic book character and walk around the shop for a few hours a few times a week. While Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners believes they should keep a close eye on her, Vlane is adamant in defending his “heroine.” Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners solemnly reminds our hero that “Even superheroes have their weakness.” Faux Bellona, or Jessica, seems to be well liked by the staff and customers alike (probably because of her super costume….), though there is one issue. She gives away copies of Vlane’s comic for free and eats lunch there without paying (to which Vlane remarks that eating burgers is far out of character for Bellona, a devout vegetarian.). This seems to be the first seeds of doubt that have sprung into our protagonist’s heart.

(Our Second Mystery Diner)

After a sequence with more hijinks and misconduct with Jessica, we are introduced to our second Mystery DIner, whose job it is to tempt the employees into buying a very rare comic.

THe idea is that the crooked criminal will tell the clueless customer that his comic is worth very little, when in fact its worht $300. That, and Action Burger is NOT a collector. Keenan, our cashier, passes the test but one other unlikely--it’s Jessica. She tells the simple minded store goer that the comic is worthless (which CHareles Stiles of Mystery Diners assures us that he checked HIMSELF! ITS IN MINT CONDITION!) and to sell it her for a few bucks. Very….suspicious.,.......could she be….no….not the heroine! Maybe this isn’t the case.

Jessica goes into Vlane’s office (a huge no-no) and snaps a pic of the comic to post online. THrough the “pad,” Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners informs VLane that the comic has just appeared on the auction website for sale!!!!!!!! Having had enough Vlane storms done to the office, ready to confront the super hero gone bad. This is the explosive confrontation that everythinghas been leading up to! At the Control room is where all this tension...BURSTS! Jessica insists that she’s giving away comics to promote business and accuses Vlane of not feeding her on the clock. Vlane corrects her saying that Bellona doesn’t need food, what with being a biomechanical alien and all. Oh and uh, also that giving books away fro free isn’t cool. Or something. Jessica then proceeds to call the Mystery Diner a dumb ass and VLane once again has to correct her in saying that super heroes dont take advantage of people! Seems like Jessica was always rotten to the core. After telling her that she is undeserving of such a noble outfit, he fires her and she storms out. Oh and she steals the costume. Next he confronts Gary….It’s pretty boring. Gary just makes a few excuses and is put on probation for a few months. Vlane promises to name a burger after CHarles Stiles Mystery Diners, Jessica pays the money back, the staff is reprimanded, he hires a new actor and everything isfine. That guitar riff closes the door on this case.

And that was that, my god where to begin? First off one of the main issues with this episode, and this show in general, is the man himself: Charles Fucking Stiles. With any other show of this nature, the one thing that usually holds it together is a fun host. Say what you will about Guy Fieri, he is still entertaining to watch. He emotes and reacts is ways that are fun for the audience and can keep your attention for the full length of the show. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is none of these things. He cannot act. Which isn’t saying much considering no one in this how has any acting abilities (yes, even the hired actors suck.). But Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is a special kind of bad acting: he’s bland as hell. There is little to no emotion in any line he says. It is always in the same tone of voice and the same inflection. This becomes really noticeable when you realize all of his dialogue is the same few lines with the name of the current restaurant stuck into them. It is quite similar to an rpg where every playthru the npc says the same thing; the only difference in thier dialogue would be that your name is changed. His facial expression is blank the entire show. One has to wonder why the camera even bothers cutting to him half of the time. It doesn’t matter if there is a brawl going on or “hilarious” hijinks with the employees, his face will never change. Maybe a smile may peek through but it is pretty hard to tell.

As mentioned before, not only is our host about as engaging as a rock, the others in the show don’t do much better in the acting department. The restaraunt owners, employees, mystery diners and sometimes other players in the episode are all acting, that is obvious. The thing is, all of them either under act or over act. Take this episode, Action Burger, for example. It is obvious that Vlane was given lines to recite but his delivery is absolutely horrible, though that is not really his fault. He’s not an actor so of course he wouldn’t give a great performance. I think what makes it so bad is that it seems like none of the crew gave this man any direction. This is also an issue in many episodes. There are instances of Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners telling someone to look somewhere but both end up looking in two totally different places. At one point in the episode, Vlane says a line that I think is supposed to be for the audience to laugh at but Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners just looks at him, looks away, and then immediatly looks back at him as if he did a double take. In fact, i don’t think ANYONE is given much direction. Poor Vlane sometimes has no idea what reaction to give to some lines so he just stares blankly awaiting his cue for his turn to recite his memorized lines. Again, I believe this is mostly due to incompetence on the crew’s part. There is a scene where Gary argues with a customer about the best batman and the customer’s acting is so forced it’s unbelievable. The man seems like he’s sleepwalking through the scene. Some extras in the background have no idea what to do and where to go; alot of them either stand around or flail around. Though, I have read that most fo the people seen in the background aren’t actors but actual restaurant goers. I am not sure how true this information is, though. Either way, it’s bad. Jessica’s acting is...wow. It trully is something. At the end during the Confrontation, she tries to “tell off” everyone but it comes off as awkward and weird. She walks up to a customer who is ordering her food and talks over her to her son. It is the most awkward way to approach someone for a conversation not to mention just...confusing.

Here we see her talking right in front of the mother to the son. Why didn’t she just walk up to the son? And no, she was not right there and just struck up a conversation. SHe got up from across the restaurant and walked purposefully to that spot, and THEN started talking. And yes the mother is trying to order food while Jessica is talking to the son.

Here, she reaches over the mother to give the son a book. Who in the world shot this and thought it was fine, this is the most awkward thing to watch! First off she is FAR too close to the mother, who is a STRANGER that she doesn’t know. Second, she just reaches over her like that and the mother doesn’t react at all! She also continues talking while the mother is trying to order. I know this is meant to be “reality” but scenes like this show just how little direction these actors were given. It’s so clunky and awkward it becomes hard to watch. It’s embarrassing. This is not an isolated thing, many episodes have bad actor placements like this. People just don’t know where to stand or what to do with their bodies, giving scenes very boxed in feeling or a cramped feeling. It’s weird and awkward and thoroughly unpleasant to sit through at times!

While this episode wasn’t a big offender of it, the sound mixing in this show can be passable to laughable. At times it’s obvious that lines are added in or dubbed over in post. Sometimes, with his back turned, Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners’ disembodied voice is heard, even though it is very obvious that he didn’t actualy say anything. He comments on things often time with no reaction from anyone almost as if he wasn’t….in the room! Plus, whenever a line is added in there is a noticeable change in audio quality. Once you pick up on it, it’s impossible NOT to notice. The editing can get a lil weird too, cutting to angles of the same scene that just loook….weird. This one is a bit harder to explain in words but just watch a few episodes. The camera cuts to something else obviously trying to not focus on something, but the thing we aren’t supposed to be focusing on is still in the shot, maybe a little off to the side! Which makes you want to focus on it MORE. Again, watch an episode and you will know what i mean.

There is sometimes this uncomfortable image of employees that this show often shows. It makes it seem like if an employee doesn’t absolutely love their job and everything it stands for, then they are bad and probably a crook. Many times a boss will jump to wanting to straight up fire an employee for making one negative remark. And it’s often these “negative” employees that end up being the criminal masterminds in charge of some intricate scam to con custmers and the boss out of money. It all seems a bit mean spirited towards workers. It’s like this weird sort of fear mongering for employers, “BE CAUTIOUS OF ANY EMPLOYEE THAT DOESN'T BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOUR COMPANY!” Maybe i’m over thinking it. I mean, i hve to be if i sat and wrote this, right?

#mystery diners #charles stiles #this is my idea of a funny joke #laugh

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counselingwithita · 4 years ago

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How to Get the Most From Couples Therapy

This article is designed to help you get the most benefit from our work together. The first three sections deal with how to prepare for and maximize the value of our sessions. The fourth section summarizes some brief concepts about relationships and productive couples therapy.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner – they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

The goal is to help you each make better adjustments and responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles.

Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

The kind of life you want to build together

The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

Tradeoffs and Tough Choices

To create sustained improvement in your relationship you need:

A vision of the life you want to build together and individually

The appropriate attitudes and skills to work as a team

The motivation to persist

Time to review progress

To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs and tough choices for each person.

The second compromise is comfort. That means emotional comfort, like going out on a limb to try novel ways of thinking or doing things, listening and being curious instead of butting in, speaking up instead of becoming resentfully compliant or withdrawing. At the beginning, there will be emotional risk taking action, but you will never explore different worlds if you always keep sight of the shoreline. In addition, few people are emotionally comfortable being confronted with how they don't live their values or being confronted with the consequences of their actions.

The other comfort that will be challenged is energy comfort. It simply takes effort to sustain improvement over time – staying conscious of making a difference over time – remembering to be more respectful, more giving, more appreciative etc. It takes effort to remember and act.

The other effort is even more difficult for some people – that is improving their reaction to problems. For example, if one person is hypersensitive to criticism, and his/her partner is hypersensitive to feeling ignored, it will take effort to improve their sensitivity instead of hoping the partner will stop ignoring or criticizing.

In all these areas, there is generally a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of creating a satisfying relationship. The blunt reality is that, in an interdependent relationship, effort is required on the part of each person to make a sustained improvement. It is like pairs figure skating – one person cannot do most of the work and still create an exceptional team.

How to Maximize the Value from your Couples Therapy Sessions

A common yet unproductive pattern in couples therapy is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone's mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.

The second unproductive pattern is showing up with each person saying, “I don't know what to talk about, do you?” While this blank slate approach may open some interesting doors, it is a hit or miss process.

The third common unproductive pattern is discussing whatever fight you are in at the moment or whatever fight you had since the last meeting. Discussing these fights/arguments without a larger context of what you wish to learn from the experience is often an exercise in spinning your wheels.

Over time, repeating these patterns will lead to the plaintive question, “Are we getting anywhere?”

A more powerful approach to your couples therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session: 1. Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy. 2. Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don't have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.

Important Concepts for Couples Therapy and Relationships

Attitude is Key

When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward change is more important that what action to take.

What to do and how to do it can often be easily identified. The real challenge is why you don't do it.

How to think differently about a problem is often more effective than just trying to figure out what action to take.

Your partner is quite limited in his/her ability to respond to you. You are quite limited in your ability to respond to your partner. Accepting that is a huge step into maturity.

The definite possibility exists that you have some flawed assumptions about your partner's motives. And that he/she has some flawed assumptions about yours. The problem is, most of the time we don't want to believe those assumptions are flawed.

Focus on Changing Yourself Rather than Your Partner

Couples therapy works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.

Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It's human nature to try and change one's partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps therapists in business.

The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It's more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.

You can't change your partner. Your partner can't change you. You can influence each other, but that doesn't mean you can change each other. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship.

It's easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle. But when it gets bone chilling cold, you're hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that's when you get tested. Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

Fear lets you know you're not prepared. If you view fear in that mode, it becomes a signal to prepare the best you can.

You can learn a lot about yourself by understanding what annoys you and how you handle it.

The more you believe your partner should be different, the less initiative you will take to change the patterns between you.

Zen Aspects of Couples Therapy (Some Contradictions)

All major goals have built in contradictions, for example, speak up or keep the peace.

It's not what you say. It's what they hear.

Solutions, no matter how perfect, set the stage for new problems.

Tough Questions

Asking good questions – of yourself and your partner – helps you uncover causes beneath causes.

In a strong disagreement, do you really believe your partner is entitled to their opinion?

Under duress, do you have the courage and tenacity to seek your partner's reality and the courage to express your reality when the stakes are high?

Why is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel and are concerned about? (Because they really can't appreciate what they don't understand.) What is the price your partner will have to pay to improve their response to you? How much do you care about the price they will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay it.)

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat him/her?

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat yourself?

If you want your partner to change, do you think about what you can do to make it easier?

When a problem shows up, it's natural to think “What should I do about it?” A much more productive question is, “How do aspire to be in this situation?”

The Importance of Communication

The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence.

Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.

A couple's vision emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each.

We are all responsible for how we express ourselves, no matter how others treat us.

Communication is the number one presenting problem in couples counseling. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense

How you are communicating – whining, blaming, being vague, etc.

What you want from your partner during the discussion

What the problem symbolizes to you

The outcome you want from the discussion

Your partner's major concerns

How you can help your partner become more responsive to you

The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem.

No wonder good communication is so hard.

Some Final Thoughts.

You can't create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what's wrong. But it's a start.

Grace under pressure does not spring full-grown even with the best of intentions – practice, practice and more practice. Practice the right things and you will get there.

Love is destroyed when self-interest dominates.

If you don't know what you feel in important areas of your relationship, it is like playing high stakes poker when you see only half your cards. You will make a lot of dumb plays.

The possibility exists that we choose partners we need but don't necessarily want.

To get to the bottom of a problem often means you first accept how complex it is.

Trust is the foundational building block of a flourishing relationship. You create trust by doing what you say you will do.

It's impossible to be in a highly inter-dependent relationship without ever being judgmental or being judged.

If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and get it, you will pay the price by becoming dull.

If neither of you ever rocks the boat, you will end up with a dull relationship

Knowledge is not power. Only knowledge that is applied is power.

Most of the ineffective things we do in relationships fall into just a few categories:

Blame or attempt to dominate

Disengage/withdraw

Resentful compliance

Whine

Denial or confusion

These are the normal emotional reactions to feeling a threat or high stress. Improving your relationship means better management of these reactions.

Everything you do works for some part of you, even if other parts of you don't like it.

Everything you do that takes a sustained effort is governed by three motivations:

Avoid pain or discomfort

The benefits involved

Be a better person

It's also true for your partner.

If you are asking your partner to change something, sometimes it's a good idea to ask if the change is consistent with how they aspire to be in that situation.

Businesses and marriages fail for the same three reasons. A failure to:

Learn from the past

Adapt to changing conditions

Predict probable future problems and take action

Effective change requires insight plus action. Action without insight is thoughtless. Insight without action is passivity.

If you want to create a win-win solution, you cannot hold a position that has caused your partner to lose in the past.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.” –Sugar Ray Robinson, middleweight boxing champion, considered by many to be the best fighter in history, pound-for-pound.

Written by: Pete & Ellyn

https://www.couplesinstitute.com/how-to-get-the-most-from-couples-therapy-tx/

#couples therapy #couple counseling

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spine-buster · 7 years ago

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Chapter 19 - The Beginning and the End of Everything (Finn Balor)

A/N: I wrote the last scene while eating the last of a tub of ice cream, so you know…sorry if it sucks.

@wrestlewriting @thegenericluchadora @thewriterformerlytaggedas @fan-fiction-galore @anerdysouthernbelle @spot-of-bother @amaranthine-reign @baleesi @flnnbalor @smuppies @sarahmatthews7 @daintymissdevitt @newjapan @corey-renee @running-ropes @balorsomega @karleedaniels27 @kazuchika @ileana0300 @alexahood21 @imnobodiesbitch @fembxt @heelturn-timesten @kaitlynwwefan @50shadesofadamcolebaybay @50shadesofkennyomega @chasingeverybreakingwave @thyestean-feast @thecandicej @devittsbalor @sp00kylesley @danahart @sietefinns @kaydee-kayyyy @powerbombshell @swedish-strong-style @blondekel77 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @nickysmum1909 @houndofjustice-imagines @wwesmutdonedirtcheap @wweximaginesxd @indywrestlinglover-life @mandi512 @kakakatey @ourscratcheddreams @sleeplessandcynical

“It’s going to be fun, I promise,” Fergal assured Gemma as he held her hand outside of the Performance Centre, both of them looking up at the giant WWE logo. Like she had been outside of the skating ring a few weeks ago, she was nervous to step foot inside. She knew she had told Fergal she wanted to see him back in the ring, but now, when faced with that reality, she was nervous. Not so much for him, and not so much about everybody she was going to meet – it was for herself. She didn’t want to cause any undue attention to him; she didn’t want to cause any embarrassment. What embarrassment she would cause, she had no idea, but she knew it was a possibility. It always was with her.

She squeezed his hand and looked over at him. “I’m really excited to see you in the ring,” she said, completely sincere about it, too, despite her nerves.

“I’m excited for you to see me,” Fergal said. “Have you ever seen wrestling live before?”

“Never.”

“It’s a treat,” he smiled. “I mean, this isn’t a live show or anything, but what goes on in this place is magic.”

Gemma couldn’t help but smile at his giddiness. “Well, let’s not waste any more time, then.”

“C’mere,” he mumbled, pulling her closer to him and kissing her quickly. Now that everything was ‘official’ he felt much more comfortable kissing her in random places and not just in the privacy of their homes. It felt good to kiss her whenever and wherever he wanted. “If you need a minute to yourself while you’re in there, just let me know, okay? There’s a lounge you can go to, or even one of the medical rooms.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” she assured him. “Just do me a favour and don’t worry about me while you’re in there. Focus on what you need to be doing. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

He kissed her again quickly. “Let’s go.”

Gemma had never been in the Performance Centre before, but from Fergal talking about it all the time (and, to a much lesser extent, Mandy and the other girls from Chas’s birthday) she felt like she already knew where everything was. When he led her to the ring area, people training surrounded her. Many of them stopped whatever they were doing and waved hello to Fergal, who waved back and joked with them to get back to work.

Soon, a giant, burly man approached them, hugging Fergal tightly and patting him on the back a few times. They exchanged a few quick words before Fergal turned back towards Gemma. “Matt, this is Gemma Fitzgerald,” he introduced them. “Gemma, this is Matt Bloom. He’s one of the head trainers here, and he took me under his wing when I first got to Japan.”

Matt and Gemma exchanged a polite handshake and some pleasantries. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Gemma,” Matt said politely. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Fergal and Rami.”

“Good things, I hope.”

“Only the best things,” he smiled.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” Gemma said. “Fergal talked about his return to the ring and I really wanted to be able to see it…I haven’t seen him wrestle live before, and I’m sure seeing it in person isn’t the same as watching it on YouTube.”

“It’s perfectly fine that you’re here. You’re in for a treat,” he looked towards Fergal. “Why don’t you go put your stuff on, and meet us in ring seven.”

Fergal looked towards Gemma, who was already smiling at him. “You good?” he asked.

“She’ll be safe with me,” Matt winked. “We’re gonna talk about you, though, just so you know.”

Fergal snorted. “Everything he says is a lie. Don’t listen to a word he says.”

“I don’t know,” Gemma shrugged her shoulders playfully. “I don’t think Matt has a lying bone in his body.”

“This girl get it,” Matt pointed at her, chuckling before slapping Fergal lightly on the shoulder. Fergal, shaking his head, turned around and made his way towards the back where he would change. Matt, in contrast, began to lead Gemma throughout the rings, stopping every so often to comment on someone’s work. He seemed like a pretty popular and knowledgeable trainer, and everyone he interacted with listened intently to what he had to say. Gemma never doubted his effectiveness – it was just nice to see, early on, how successful he really was at his role.

“You’re the athlete that had to retire,” Matt mentioned casually as they finally arrived at ring seven.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m very sorry that happened to you,” he said, and Gemma could feel the sincerity in his voice. “Ferg mentioned you one day and I happened to look you up. You are fantastic. I mean I’m not the biggest fan of hockey but what I was able to see was spectacular.”

Gemma couldn’t help but blush. The thought of this giant man sitting down in front of a computer, typing in her name, and watching her hockey videos made her feel warm inside. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

“What are the plans now?”

“Uhhh…I’m not completely sure yet,” Gemma admitted. “I’m currently writing an article for Sports Illustrated about being a half-Arab female hockey player, but other than that there isn’t much, besides rehab. I think after rehab everything will become a bit clearer.”

“When will that be?”

“August. I’m there for a full year. My new goal is to not have to need extra time.”

“Well, considering the extent of your injury, that would be miraculous,” Matt commented, looking impressed. She was astonished that he knew about it – he must have read about it when he looked her up. That he even remembered surprised her to the fullest. “You look like you’re already there, anyway – or at least have just a little bit left to go.”

She smiled slightly. She was happy her progress was visible to others. “I kind of am, but I want to be able to get back on to the ice. Not competitively, of course, but enough so that I can skate with my future children and not be in pain or anything. Hockey…is still very important to me.”

“Well of course it is,” Matt said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s been a huge part of your life for a long time. I don’t think it will ever not be a big part of your life. It’s like wrestling. A lot of wrestlers, you know, they retire from in-ring work, but they really just assume another role within wrestling.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh sweetie,” Matt chuckled. “Practically every trainer at this facility is a former pro-wrestler. Most of our producers and road agents are former wrestlers. The guys who run the wrestling schools, independent of this one, are former wrestlers,” he explained. “There’s nobody who knows the ins and outs of the wrestling business better than a former wrestler. Even me! I’m a 20 year vet, retired, but here I am training the next generation.”

Gemma nodded her head at his words. The situation he was explaining was, of course, similar with hockey. Many former hockey players ended up becoming agents, broadcasters, coaches, or went into the head offices for managerial jobs. The hockey industry protected their own. But that was NHL, aka the big leagues, aka male hockey players. The comfortable futures weren’t necessarily the same for women. That’s what she needed to worry about.

Before she got caught too much in her thoughts, she tried to keep on the subject at hand. “What do you think Ferg’s gonna do when he retires?”

“That’s up to him,” he said diplomatically. “Maybe he’ll retire on the beaches of Bray. Maybe he’ll retire when he’s 75. He’s always done what he wants to do, on his terms. I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon.”

“What’s not gonna change anytime soon?” Fergal’s Irish accent interrupted the two.

They both spun around to see him dressed to go through drills. Matt decided to answer the question. “Whether or not you’ll ever have more than a hundred carbs a day. Now get into the ring.”

Gemma sat on the sidelines in complete awe as she watched Fergal move fluidly throughout the ring. He was right – it was a sort of magic that she didn’t quite understand until she saw it in person. Matt was instructing Fergal on which moves to work through and asking a bunch of questions, but she could tell he was confident in what Fergal was doing.

“He’s definitely been coming here without me,” Gemma said to no one in particular.

“Hmm?” Matt asked, hearing her.

“Ferg…he’s been back in the ring a while, hasn’t he? That’s why he’s already so good?”

Matt chuckled to himself. “No sweetie, he’s just that good.”

Fergal and Gemma had gone to lunch with Matt after he had finished his training session, and Gemma heard a bunch of stories about Fergal’s shenanigans in Japan, from when he arrived at 24 years old to just a few years ago when he decided to leave for the WWE. When Fergal missed a bullet train and nearly missed one of first shows; when Fergal got food poisoning at a sponsor dinner but had to pretend nothing was wrong as to not offend the sponsor; when Fergal got so piss drunk one night Matt had to carry him back to his place bridal style. It was a life well lived. Fergal had done so much throughout his life and had gone through so many different experiences. He had done in ten years what most people failed to do their entire lives. All before her.

Gemma thought about this as they kissed each other. Fergal’s need to have his lips on Gemma’s at all times hadn’t stopped since the first time they kissed, save for the week they didn’t speak. Now, lying on his bed with Gemma on top of him, she couldn’t keep her mind off of the stories Matt had told her at lunch, and how Fergal had experienced so much.

He seemed to know that something was on her mind because instead of increasing his pace and severity of the kisses, he was slowing down. He bit at her lip playfully, causing her to smile. “You alright?”

Gemma nodded her head, sliding across his body so she was lying by his side. “You’re always kissing me, Fergal Devitt.”

He smiled. “You’re my girlfriend now. I can kiss you whenever I want.”

“You think you’ll ever stop?”

“No,” he deadpanned, leaning forward slightly to kiss her while she giggled. When he pulled away, she was biting her lip, just staring at him. “What’s on your mind, love?”

She brought her hand up and dragged her thumb along his bottom lip. “Do you ever think about how there’s ten years between us?” she asked softly.

Fergal wondered where she was coming from with the question. “Not really, to be honest…”

“I don’t mean it like…whatever…” she shook her head quickly. “I just mean, like…at lunch today, all those stories Matt was sharing. You…you lived this entire life before you even met me, and it was so amazing. You did all these amazing things and went to all these amazing places, and everything just sounded so cool. And you were having the time of your life…”

“And…?”

“And now you’re here with me in a bed in Orlando --”

“Having the time of my life,” he interrupted.

Gemma couldn’t help but give him a facetious disapproving look. “I just…sometimes I think it’s funny how life works out, you know? You accomplished so much in those ten years. I accomplished so much in those ten years, too. You won all these titles, you got signed to WWE…I made national teams and I won a gold medal. It’s all so…amazing. I mean, the timeline of it is just insane to me. We didn’t even know each other a year ago and now we kiss each other’s faces off every moment of the day.”

“It’s meant to be,” Fergal said, knowing that’s what Gemma wanted to hear. Not that he didn’t believe it himself – he did completely. There was a reason Gemma came into his life. But he knew she wanted to hear those words. He knew she wanted to hear their meeting and their relationship was some sort of divine intervention; something that would have happened in any world, in every universe, regardless of circumstance.

He could see a smile growing on her face. With a reaction like that, how could he think any different? “You really think so?”

“I know so. This is something special, don’t you think?”

He could see her cheeks flush red. She only nodded her head, too happy to hear those words coming from his mouth. She leaned forward to kiss him again, not wanting to speak anymore. She had talked enough. There were more important things to do now.

She could tell Finn was eager by the way he kissed her, and by the way his hands slipped under her top in record time. Her hands moved just as quickly, running themselves through his hair and gripping at the nape of his neck. The higher his hands traveled, the higher her shirt lifted; soon, it was above her head, Fergal throwing it across the room.

Gemma had exposed her body to Fergal before – at Cocoa Beach, and in Iceland, naturally – but this was so much more intimate, more sensual. His touch gave her goosebumps and made her hairs stand on end. His hands were wandering everywhere, feeling every inch of her, and when they came around to her front, her breath hitched in her throat.

She had changed. She knew she had changed, and she knew he knew she had changed. Her body wasn’t the same as it was a year ago, six months ago, three months ago. It had changed from what she was used to, from what her body was when she was an athlete. At the end of the day, though, she was still getting used to the change. But it was still her body. At the end of the day, she still owned her body. Nobody could take it – or its capabilities – away from her. At the end of the day, she was still in a bed with Fergal feeling her up.

“Don’t be nervous,” he breathed out quickly, biting down on her bottom lip. “You’re fucking beautiful Gemma. Don’t think you’re not.”

A lot more touching, a lot more kissing. Some unhooking, more pulling, one more article of clothing thrown across the room. Quick kisses, long kisses; wet kisses, little bites; fingertips grazing, nails scratching. Gemma didn’t think she’d ever been so turned on in her life.

Fergal had switched their positions, pinning Gemma under him as he kissed down her body, just as he had done on the couch weeks ago. She felt ready to explode but he kept licking and kissing a path lower.

She grabbed at his hair to get his attention. “No,” she said, shaking her head slightly.

“What?” he asked, stunned she wouldn’t want him to go down on her.

“I need…I just need you inside me right now,” she panted. She didn’t exactly want to go into the reasons why she didn’t want him to do that yet. “I need to feel you.”

He smiled mischievously at her. “Next time?”

“Next time. I need to feel you, Ferg.”

Well, her wish was his command. He came back up and kissed the tip of her nose. “Lay on your side for me,” he said, doing so himself. She did as she was told. “Now give me your leg.”

She hesitated at first. Her knee brace, albeit a small one, was still on, and she wanted to move as slow as possible just in case she got a jolt of pain again. They looked each other directly in the eyes as she hooked her leg over his, feeling his hardened member against her thigh.

He entered her slowly, considerately, allowing her to adjust to his size, knowing this hadn’t happened for her in a while. To be fair, it hadn’t happened for him in a while either, and he was in a state of euphoria knowing that it was Gemma in his arms, Gemma that was looking him in the eye, Gemma whose body was moving so in sync with his. He had wanted this for so long, had dreamt of this for so long. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Despite their movements, and their panting, and the pleasure they were both feeling being tangled in each other’s bodies, they didn’t take their eyes off one another. It was unlike any other intimate moment they had experienced before.

His hand, which had been caressing her leg, slipped in between them to tease her. At his touch he knew she wouldn’t last much longer. As her pants became louder, her moans irregular, and her eyes closed slowly, he increased his speed, allowing her to go over the edge and scream out in ecstasy before he did the same.

As she came down from her high, Gemma had a satisfied smile on her face. When she finally looked Fergal in the eye again she leaned forward and kissed him. Still inside her, and coming down from his own high, he tightened his grip on her; he wanted their bodies closer, though they were already flush against each other.

When they pulled away from the kiss, Gemma licked her lips. “I’ve waited so long for someone like you,” her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ve waited so long for you.”

“I’ve waited so long for you too,” he said, meaning it completely.

“I’m sorry I took so long.”

Fergal cradled her face in his hand. “We are both here now. That’s all that matters.”

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couplesinstitutecounseling · 5 years ago