#she’s like 5 and was obv in a family before tho

[thechildisgone]

guys look at the pics of maddie i posted last night

angel

[bukuoshin]

Okay, it's. It's probably safe to say I'm autistic, lol

[stuffnthangsss]

Gravity Falls x Percy Jackson: GF Characters as Demigods Pt. 4

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 5

Soos as a kid of Hephaestus (kinda changes canon tho but hey another Hispanic Hephaestus kid alongside Leo).

Soos is a handyman and Hephaestus was considered the god of artisans aka craftsmen and carpenters.

Hephaestus was also described to have a lack of social skills which we can see Soos have throughout the show especially in the “Soos and the real girl” episode! I think Soos and his personalities match quite a bit minus Hephaestus’ resentfulness since we don’t rly see Soos hold a grudge. Some also describe Hephaestus as friendly and peaceful which are some of Soos’ greatest qualities.

Wendy as a maiden/hunter of Artemis!

I couldn’t think of any other demigod possibility beside maybe Demeter?? But I was talking to my friend about her being an Artemis kid and they said that “Robbie would be her turning point definitely 😭” so credits to them for that!! And they also that they thought Wendy’d be like Thalia and against becoming a hunter for a while (hence her becoming a maiden at 15 rather than 12).

I also searched it up and not only is Artemis the god of archery/hunting, she also had to do with the wilderness and FORESTS which works for Wendy! Being of a lumberjack family.

EDIT: I wrote these posts before watching weirdmaggedeon and now after watching s2ep18, I noticed Wendy literally using a crossbow lol so yay Artemis Wendy.

In PJO at least, Artemis has authority over wolves and I found this image of Wendy in a wolf shirt lol.

Onto to some more minor characters…

Robbie as a kid of Hecate (necromancy/magic) maybe?? Due to that time he tried to mind control Wendy into being with him LMAO

Or hades ?? Since his parents are funeral home directors/morticians. And his emo-ness fits with Hades and is kinda like Nico lol.

Oh actually maybe Thanatos!! Bc idk if Robbie would be a kid of the big 3. Thanks to my friend again who mentioned him as the god of death itself as I forgot who Thanatos was lmao

EDIT: finished s2 and found out about the whole Zodiac thing which Robbie *is* a part of sooo Hades Robbie is more plausible I suppose!

Or maybe even Apollo? He’s seen w a guitar often and has a band. But im more torn between Hecate and Thanatos.

I think ppl would first think of Pacifica as a Aphrodite kid but I raise you Hermes! Pacifica.

Hermes was the god of wealth and luck (and also associated with business) which goes well with Pacifica’s rich upbringing

Also similar to what I said about Stan in the previous post and Hermes kids (Luke), Pacifica started off as a misunderstood character

Hermes is also the patron of athletics and we know Pacifica is at the very least, good, at mini golf

I like Pacifica as Hermes but can’t properly express why 😭😭. She’s wealthy and lucky obv but she’s also misunderstood as conceitful? I also think she could be really playful and fun if her parents weren’t overbearing. So this is mostly headcanon LMAO

From my friend: “her parents conceit is real but hers is to protect herself” ; “she’s shown she likes to let go and all but yeah, her parents suck”

I said how “she’d def be thought of as a possible traitor in that book where there was the traitor subplot” & “she prolly would be connected to Luke… and the fact that they’re both blonde”

Please share ur thoughts!! <3

[alicepixie]

Season 2 of Percy Jackson and the olympians - how I would depart from the source material and write the first scene

the beginning of sea of monsters is def the least iconic of the books imho (aswell as the shortest book) so I propose an addition. We start with annabeth narration & flashbacks much like Percy’s in s1 ep1 & the book.

The books are from Percy pov but the show is not & this is the perfect chance to finally hear annabeths inner story in her own words as we never have since HOO is written in 3rd POV not first. We have many scenes from the book to take from, I think this will also help with the telling not showing issue some ppl have w/ s1 so far (even tho I don’t rlly agree) as we can see little annabeth rather than have her just relay it to Percy.

Short scenes I would include:

1. Annabeth building towers with cards/ playing w/ magnus. This scene is lifted from magnus chase as I am an unrepentant magnas chase stan. This will obv show her lifelong passion for architecture aswell as being a rare happy memory for her. We can do a similar tactic they have done for the di Angelo’s, hearing magnus but not seeing him or just seeing the back of his head or hands. This scene can also have her father arguing with his siblings to show how her being a half blood has already caused extreme tension in her mortal family for the danger it brings.

2. Next we’d continue showing the tension in her family as she feels her father growing increasingly neglectful and her negative relationship with her step family. This also shows if there is any discrepancy with Beth’s perception (narration) and reality (visuals).

3. Next, The spiders… the show owes us some spiders as we know so this is perfect chance to depict annabeths arachnophobia by showing her being attacked by them in her bedroom.

4. Finally, 7 yo Annabeth running away leading into 13 yo her running away again now looking for Percy in NY leaving her where she first appears in the book.

OR

5.Alternatively before cutting to Leahbeth we get one more scene of her meeting Thalia and Luke, and him giving her the dagger. I think this scene should be shown regardless to introduce Thalia’s actress (even tho younger actors would be needed for Luke & annabeth) as she appears in the final scene.

+ More scenes dispersed throughout the season like we have gotten for young Percy. Such as the family trio meeting Grover, them getting kidnapped and escaping the cyclops, Luke giving Beth the dagger, Thalia taking her last stand and being tree-ified etc.

[roobylavender]

I wrote this during my breakdown so I'm not actually crying rn jshshjs

Being in a desi family means no matter what I'll do for my parents, I know they will always choose my brother over me, well at least my father will. I will never get the justice I deserve as long as I live in this family. Sure, my mom tried for me but that only lasted 5 minutes at most before she gave up. Maybe she knew it will never happen so that's why. It still hurts tho. Only trying once and then never again. And instead preaching ME to not get on my brother's bad side. I really, really loathe living in this family. I loathe desi men. My parents will never raise their voice for me to my brother. They will never defend me as he continues to bully me whenever he wants to. And as I continue to type this as I cry, I know it's pointless. Tomorrow I will act like nothing happened and continue to please my father, as if I don't have this thoughts running through me everytime I talk to him. I will continue to talk to my mom as if I don't think how she will never fight for me even if I told her all of this. Because what is the point knowing it will cause a meaningless discourse in the family that will only last a few hours or a day at best and embarrassed myself. Knowing it will be me who will get lectured. And I'm not even crying because of my brother rn it's the fact knowing my parents never did, and never will fight for me. I might've forgave my brother if only my parents did something and he apologized. But they never did. Every day I loathe and love my parents. Being in a desi family sucks.

i want to apologize again for getting to this so late and while i am more than familiar with how this is unfortunately a perpetual, never-ending kind of deal, i really hope that today you’re feeling at least a little better than you were when you were typing this. i’m not sure how old you are but speaking from personal experience i really think the best outlet for any desi kid is to try to be independent as soon as possible. if your family can afford it go for an undergrad degree in a different city. keep connecting with people so your network provides you with opportunities to get out and get a job. prioritize financial stability so that you have the means to move out even if it’s into an apartment. it depends from family to family obv but sometimes there’s a point where some families will not change and you have to do what’s best for yourself and that’s okay. i think it’s easy for us to harbor a lot of guilt that we’re ungrateful if we don’t stick around and try to fix some of the baggage ourselves but what i’ve learned is that even if you want to try to fix the baggage you need to be in a mentally stable place to do so. living at home doesn’t necessarily facilitate that. and i don’t know what your thoughts on it would be personally but if from what i assume you’re a girl then i again would highly highly recommend doing whatever you can to forge financial independence for yourself. even if it means working a minimum wage job for now. i feel like in a lot of desi families there’s a tendency to look down on that sort of thing (odd, no?) but it’s really a vital developing experience all people and esp desi women should invest in. my lack of financial experience has hindered me in so many ways and kept me tied to a familial situation where i am often very unhappy. i love my parents very much but we have ideological and practical divides and we’re at a stage in life where we need our space from each other (and i imagine that’s true in your situation too) and yet i don’t have the means to execute it bc i’m still figuring my life out. it’s easier said than done obv but i think if you develop the conviction early to get your life in order and work towards creating your own space where you can control how you’re respected it will be worthwhile. the pain of your parents’ faults and inability to protect you is always going to sting and esp within desi families there’s a very deep trauma every child goes through when evaluating what their parents have or haven’t done for them. but that sting will hurt more when you’re completely at your parents’ mercy (and your brother’s, in this case). when they’re not in control anymore it will be easier to manage, and i really hope whatever your circumstances that you’re able to forge that path where your life is your own and you’re not bullied for existing within this familial structure. iA let me know if you ever want to vent again, my dms are open as well so if you want to talk more privately that’s welcome, too. love you lots 🤍

[paintedpineleaf]

idk typing shit out should help. sometimes when i tpe stuff i get tired haflway cause like. who's gonne see this. who cares. right

anyway. hope i tyoe it all out this time lmao.

two of my friends have now said something seems off about me, and i know it. one of them i haven't talked to in a while, and when i said idk what was wrong with me or idk what he meant, he said maybe it's subconscious and i don't know what's wrong with me. i was like yeah sure.

i thought about telling him, but then it just felt so weird, i've never told my friends any of this stuff. sometimes i resent them for not knowing but then i also kinda know i'd regret it forever if i did.

anyway the way i was gonna frame it to him was; i saw a reel like yesterday that was like "when you do something so cringy and then later gain some self-awareness and you're like wtf was i doing" yeah that happened to me today haha. so basically my mom was making burgers, and i was helping like i always do, and she was talking about how my sister can't come down to help cause she has a tuition class going on. and she later checked her phone and my sister's tuition teacher had sent her a text saying basically, hey, [name] didn't take class today.

my. mom. lost. it. she went upstairs, where my sister was sleeping, and started screaming her head off at her. idk whether she hit her. she came down after like 5 minutes and started yelling at me about how she's told me countless times to check on my sister before coming down around this time to make sure she's taking her class, and i never do and stuff. i don't usually talk back when she's yelling, responding kinda takes way too much energy out of me.

anyway then she started yelling about it at my dad, who also never responds to her and just listens. also in the meanwhile i was just making the burgers. but thing is, when we have burgers, it's like the whole family sits around and we talk and stuff while eating and it's usually kinda fun? but like obv the whole vibe was ruined, my mom wasn't gonna shut up, she was gonna continue on how nobody cares about her bla bla right

that's not the thing though. thing is. idk what happened to me. my mental state in the kitchen was slowly unraveling like. i did everything i was supposed to, took out the fries, salted them, put ketchup in the saucer, made my mom's and brother's burger. my sister later came down and i had already prepared the 'be kind' monologue in my head. like my mom's being mean enough to her, i don't need to take my anger on the mom out at her yk. she didn't need any more cruelty from anyone. and she came downstairs, and i told her how i'd kept her burger bun uncut cause i knew she liked doing it herself, told her there were fries out on the table and she should get some if she took her plate upstairs to eat.

like. i could feel myself acting fine but when i went to put the tray down on the table it kinda slammed down in front of the mom, so hard that some of the fries fell out. like 3 or 4, not just like one or something too. i apologized and was like actually surprised cause i had expected to put it down gently. and when i went to give the mom her burger, i put it down very gently but i had to like be very mindful of it.

i made my own burger tho, and almost ran upstairs, and i just fucking. couldn't.

i fucking lost it as well. i couldn't breathe, i felt kinda dizzy? idk how to describe it. like i felt like crying. i started taking deep breaths and everything was coming out shaky even though i wasn't crying. i couldn't sit up, like i could but it made me feel worse, so i laid down on the ground and closed my eyes, and was like taking deep breaths and shit but there were tears coming out of my eyes? then i didn't like the light, and every time i opened my eyes i felt worse, so i got up to turn off the lights and lock the door. then i came back and laid down on the ground in the same place and position. laid like that for like 5-10 whole minutes.

basically i had like a meltdown or a tantrum or something, all cause my mom yelled at my sister.

i didn't even feel like getting up when i forced myself to cause i thought: taylor swift always makes me feel better, and my food's getting cold. so i watched the eras tour movie while trying to eat my food. trying cause i just. idk like i lost control. i couldn't muster up the energy to lean forward then pick the burger up and bite it then chew it then swallow it. so i just sat there like eating the fries cause i could do that. also taylor swift did make me feel better, she always does lmao. i ate the burger like a minute or two after that.

and like. i know it's not "cringy" or whatever, or like no-one else would think so, but it's just. idk what happened to me.

later i was talking to another friend and they said something about how i should tell people to fuck off more often, and i was sending them a voice note where i was reminding them of the time i said i didn't ever wanna be mean to any one and one of the main things i wanted to be in life was to be kind. and i almost fucking started crying again. then i thought about like, maybe i could tell them about what happened today, but i couldn't open my mouth to do it. i literally couldn't fucking talk, i just sat there.

so like. all in all. a bit of an over-the-top reaction to something that fucking mundane yk. and like i know it's normal to have over-the-top reactions sometimes as long as you're not doing it all the time but. idk i'm just fucking scared for next time. i'm also scared that i may forget this memory so i wanted to like have it written down somewhere, so i know i'm not going crazy or something.

all of my friends are telling me i seem off and i'm idk. i think i used to be depressed when i was like 11-14, and i think i'm falling back into it after having a couple good years. i'm saying *i think* i used to be depressed and *i think* i might be again cause i'm not like formally diagnosed and i've been to a therapist (albeit a pretty shitty one), so like. armchair diagnoses help no one and they take attention away from people who are actually suffering so i don't wanna walk around with big false label on my head to gain sympathy from people.

[honestreviewsblog]

Tale of the Nine Tailed Kdrama - A Fan's Journey (with spoilers)

Ep 1-4

It's been so long I can't even remember some parts of it cos we watched it before but stopped watching by the end of ep 4. Probably because we just can't understand Yeon's obsession with Ah-Eum??

Ep 5-6

It has a slow pace but it also feels like their relationship is going way too fast?? You get what I mean? I'm so curious about Yoori's identity tho cos I feel like that's one of the things that they haven't discussed as thoroughly as Shinju's and the fox bros obvs. So I'm definitely really waiting on that being revealed.

I'm so curious about the fox marble as well. I've watched a couple of gumiho kdramas in the past (My GF is a Gumiho, Gu Family Book, My Roommate is a Gumiho, to name a few) and the "bead" or in this case I think is the "marble" has to be really important. It played a pivotal role in MGFIAG so I'm kinda scared that Ji-Ah still hasn't told Yeon that she exchange the marble for his freedom.

Ep 7-9

Am I the only one who feels like everything is painstakingly slow?? To be honest I just wanna know more about Rang and I'm watching this because I'm just really curious about Rang.

10-12

OMGG bb boii Rang was stabbed by Yuri when she was hypnotized by the serpent skskskskks. The ending was sksksksksksks WTHH. I have so many questions.

13-16

I forgot to update this omg hahahaha. Anyway, we finished it and I still can't believe Rang died. Like—I STILL CAN'T. It's so unfair 😭 To be honest, I didn't really cry much when Lee Yeon died (sorry I just know he's gonna live I've watched season 2 first) so when he died I was just like, "Well, okay get a move on" but dammit nothing absolutely nothing prepared me for Rang dying in exchange for his brother being reincarnated. Like sht that hurt so bad, I cried buckets. Especially bcs, he's finally getting his happy ending now?? He has a family, he has people he wanted to take care of, it's so cruel 😭 I just wanna cry to the writers of the show and tell them, "WHYYY it's so unfair!! Just bcs he's not the main protagonist?? He gets to be killed off like that?? How could you" 😭 Even though I absolutely know deep down that Rang dying is part of his redemption arc.

By the way, those 3 days where everybody's dying is soooo unnecessary to be honest. All those people killed off by the serpent and for what?? To be honest, I can totally see Old Lady's point—it wasn't executed well (I mean at least have a conversation first with Lee Yeon and try to work things out before you jump and change a person's lifeline for goodness sake!!) but it really is unfair for all those people to be killed off bcs of his personal goal. I know some part of my rant might be a bit unfair for the main couple and the serpent is definitely the one to be blamed but just that unfairness again is making it seem like a single person's life feels more important than 900 who died so unfairly without reason.

Anyway, happy for Lee Yeon he get to be exactly what he wanted to be, which is to be human and to be by Ji-a's side.

I FINISHED THIS!! 8/10. It's really good story wise, I've watched season 2 first so I might be a bit biased to say I liked that season much much better than this one. Probably bcs Lee Yeon's character in season 2 isn't too sappy or cheesy or ugh romantic. But i still loved this drama, the CGI is always amazing, the soundtrack is to die for, the cinematography, the lights, the slow-motions is just *chef's kiss. I've been craving some good fantasy drama and this just hits the spot 😌👌

[castle-dominion]

c1x5 chill goes thru her veins

I feel bad for the stunt actor. Why are those lights turning on?

Beautiful intro <3 with her ring & gun & stuff. (but she just keeps it in a drawer...? No surely that drawer is locked... gun laws in the usa can't be THAT lax...) Beautiful red coat. We need more of that in later seasons. She should shave her head, but like in a sexy way. For the leabians.

JE: Why can't they find bodies between 9 and 5? KB: Well, early bird gets the collar. *castle running around before beckett can even drink her coffee* JE: He was here before I was.

Poor lanie, she's there just as early as anyone. XD cold case LP claims she's frozen solid, but let's just make a note of that. Captions say mid-40s & i'm assuming that means 40-50 f not negative 40? That's what like 12 degrees c? Nope, 40f is 4c. not quite cold enough to freeze, not solid, even with wind. Lol ruby slippers Ok but bodies float in concrete Maybe the killer is just really flaky like me. Or maybe they killed her & didn't know what to do so they froze her until they came up with a plan.

I'm watching s4 with my family rn & the technology is booming. Reminds me of s2 when the fbi came in. Legit made me laugh out loud when castle made that wilford warfstache face. This seems like a good time to remembe MMIWP; missing & murdered indigenous women/people. It is literally an ongoing genocide, idk much abt the USA but indigenous people are disproportionately represented in cases like this in canada. Indigenous men are actually more at-risk for murders than women, though women are more at-risk for disappearances & sexual abuse. They are even overturning things like ICWA, FNMI kids are already overrepresented in the foster care system, forced genocidal assimilation is happening under our noses Right Now. Everyone is an ally until it is time to do some ally shit.

KR: Sure they do. Quantum physics, alien abductions, Schrödinger's cat. One minute, you're getting a hot dog in the park, the next you're fighting off Sleestaks on the far side of a dimensional rift. BRUH??? Reminds me of the alien episode in s2 or s3. Oh woman I remember in Range class we had our turkeys out all weekend & they were still frozen

KB: Okay, I'm on my way KB: Lanie's got an ID. So u don't need to look thru missing persons anymore right? RC, to rysposito: You'll take care of these? *leaves* JE: Hey, Ryan, can you, uh… Thanks. *also leaves poor ryan to go through or put away the files* Poor Ryan, he's just staring at espt leave with such hurt, his eyes just moving all over the table & room, & his mouth slightly open. He's left to deal with this. They really are treating him like the new guy even tho he really is not he's been there long enough in canon.

WOAH FIVE YEARS IS A LONG TIME BABES

Steals his coffee Ofc he's a speedreader. I like how later they use that skill again. ok but she disappears often, she's gone for weeks at a time occasionally, the guy probably wouldn't have called in until seven days after she's gone Flirting with her lol. He probably thought she ran away for the first six months then figured she was gone for good or passed away.

R u using a 5yo file? Oh. Yeah five years. So new york "idc that the previous tenant was murdered, it keeps the rent low"

JE: Well, four years between murders? One's a popsicle, one just got popped? I love castle's shirt texture, I just want to feel it. KR: I don't believe it. RC: Give me 250 pages, I bet I could make you. KR: *chuckles* But he's right. "250 pages is 125 000 words single-spaced or 62 500 words double-spaced. Typical documents that are 250 pages or more include full-length novels."

CASTLE I could call it, "A Chill Runs Through Her Veins." ESPOSITO Ooh. I like that. [Castle and Esposito five-five.] CASTLE "Bam" said the lady, another best-seller for me.

(https://scriptline.livejournal.com/18916.html for my quotes, it's so much faster than typing them out. sometimes.)

You know, ppl ship caskett (obv, & then it eventually eventually finally becomes canon) & ppl ship rysposito (I can see why, plus if caskett is together obv rysposito would be together) but tbh I like castito or casposito or castlesito or estle or espostle or espositle or javick rickvier or whatever their ship name it. Probably casposito.

Hmmm. Homeless, White Plains. Homeless, White Plains. JE: both kinda creepy

I love him with his kids (possibly spoilers) I think I know how it ends, I feel like the parents will end up having done this & the kids will end up parentless & then grandparentless. Or maybe the husband did it & then the grandparents killed the husband bc screw you for robbing my daughter of her life & my grandkids of their mom & I'm not letting my grandbabies be raised by a murderer (unless they become murderers in which case.... you lost your point)

drinkin coffee in a bar. I mean he's right ig but at the same time screw you & acab. Oh war vet? Yeah no hun cops feel more brotherhood with soldiers than they feel responsibility to their jobs. The entire system is crap. I want to say "than they feel responsible for the ppl they are meant to protect" but... they aren't really "meant" to protect them. They are meant to police them.

That's why u like castle. He spins crazy theories instead of making things fit into a box. (except he still says "that's not how I would write it") Castle sherlock holmes moments.

JE: A couple of bucks jogged his memory. Yeah man Already have their little handshake uwu Reminds me of ochoa/herve doing the big handshake. I feel like castle wrote a cool handshake (made it up) for roach & then they put it in the movie but castle didn't actually know how to do the handshake.

Oh gosh this poor man. Only this time, all I find is a freezer plugged into a light outlet -- which, by the way, is totally illegal. So valid bestie. (I love him so much.) One time I had to make a mini model of a house for math class but it was my best friend & me & we were both disabled so we handed in the simplest project we could & got in trouble for it. Then our parents helped us out, they put in the water heater. Paul said "lets use this little pill bottle, we can glue it to the wall here" but then my dad chips in 'That's a Code Violation, man!' as if code violations matter in our little model. Both dads cracked up. It was funnier when it happened... (& whenever we go to tour dream homes dad points out the code violations. & ofc count how many secret rooms we can make. Not that we'd ever live there.) Oh fun fact, if you make a double male extension cord you can power your neighbour's apartment if they forgot to pay their electrical bill, JUST so they can like, keep their fridge running so their food doesn't spoil. Some anarchosocialist cyberpunk for ya. I mean the man's right. I see why he did what he did. People are really good at not seeing homeless people.

Man kept the freezer? ofc it's cash. every six months, plus three months of grace. Two months after the man is dead! So valid bestie, keep the footage of the last two weeks, but who has space for more than that?

If not x, then y. if not her, then him. If not sam, then whoM? Him=whom, he=who. Who did it? He did it. It was whom? It was him.

Mmm leftovers. That's a heck of an empty freezer. Hey self cleaning oven, sort of like that episode in s3! Did you know you can jerry your oven open during self clean mode to make it into a pizza oven? Don't do it tho. AC: Did I stop, or did something stop me? I love her RC: It's family moments like these I will never forget. AC: With a good therapist, hopefully, I will. DSAFHDSJHADSKJH

I like beckett's coat. This Wyler fellow seems neat. I like him. Man remembers the bf's name?

This boy looks like someone I've seen before. Maybe that actor/directer, gary sinus I like his shirt. Seems like a nice prison uniform. This fellow seems neat. Oh. I love & respect this man. I love him sm. This is tragic.

Sometimes I'm very "guy" but other times I am so obviously raised female, but I was also raised catholic. Nice pride flag lol B'y I think it's a bad idea to tell these children what happened to their mom, at least in any detail. They're kids. Or at most tweens.

What if GARY killed sam? He wasn't dead for four years or so, you could have come forward. he WAS dead for the past year, you could have come forward w/o fear.

Ooh this is the coolest & sweetest thing. I love their laser tag gear. RC: Mom! We are totally doing battle on the field of honor. MR: How old are you? RC: Old enough to afford the top-of-the line laser tag. You know that's what they tell addicts. The only fun you had was drinking & now you don't have that hobby? All your friends do drugs so you're out a community? Do what you wanted to do when you were a kid, now that you are an adult with adult money. Buy yourself an easy bake oven, go play laser tag, take that gymnastics class you wanted to do all throughout elementary. RC: I'm dead! MoOm! 

I like how castle doesn't try to make himself look like a presentable adult, he opens the door & shoots his laser gun. Poor beckett. She knocks on his door & then gets laser shot by a novelist she was a fan of who is now shadowing her on crime cases, then his daughter comes out from behind him, also wearing all this laser gear (including the fact that she is a responsible adolescent), & then his mom comes in from the side with a towel on her head & a mask on her face. "Pehtikwe"

Is this the first time she has been in his house? Or did she arrest him here once? She is indeed a comic fan, remember the vampire episode? It's like a murder board. Lol jinx. I like castle's sweater here.

See? Most ppl don't own a car in a city like that. Point for the adhd castle headcanon. Goes on a tangent like that. Plus, he's very childish sometimes, very childlike /pos sometimes, he procrastinates a lot, then he hyperfocuses & bangs out a novel, he can think inside or outside the box but he threw the box away so he doesn't know if he's thinking in or out, he is not very good at following instructions lol (you know i was diagnosed with ODD & recently I found out & thought "that's just what they diagnose you with when you don't understand things & so you ask questions or refuse to do things or you don't like being a child treated like you are not a person; that's why so many ppl grow out of of" & I Was Right, BUT that's only the misdiagnoses, ODD is actually a mood disorder, which might be why I kind of got over it when I went on mood stabilizers. Fun fact for ya)

It's late at night they just went to his house? Or maybe it's the next day.

ROGER They told me he was shot in a mugging. And now you're telling me, he was killed here, in my apartment?

CASTLE Not him. His wife.

ROGER His wife? What kind of family was this?

CASTLE Alright. So, you and I are married.

BECKETT We are not married.

CASTLE Relax. It's just pretend.

BECKETT I don't want to pretend.

CASTLE Scared you'll like it?

BECKETT Okay. If we're married, I want a divorce.

ROGER Are you two like this all the time?

CASTLE and BECKETT Yes.

(usually they give opposing answers. JE: yes; KB: no; RC: I wish; KR: ...??? Ok!)

Castle puts down the pan but beckett still has the pot *closes door on roger* *hands the pot back to roger*

Need to go to the eco station? Call your buddy with a truck.

I still respect this guy to a degree. I love the way his voice is breaking. This poor fellow.

Cap's right. what goes around comes around.

I remember how it ends. Not five years ago. Plainclothes. Melanie's dad. He did his own detective work & I'm proud. I know what you mean castle but you kind of can't do that.

I feel really bad bc he's just trying to be a good grampa, he is raising his grandkids, he solved his daughter's murder & paid justice to sam. Tho he probs could have gone to the police. Also why do those kids look native? Melanie & her parents are white af. IG we've never seen sam's body/picture so maybe he was native or a poc.

Dad, they probs don't have the evidence to convict you. Don't confess & you can get away with it. Ah I see why he did it now. R u allowed to bring back a service weapon? Good on him, he said a father MIGHT be justified. Never said he did it.

Oh beckett sharing her story!

We were supposed to go to dinner together - my mom, my Dad, and I, and she was gonna meet us at the restaurant, but she never showed. Two hours later, we went home, and there was a detective waiting for us. Detective Raglin. They found her body. She had been stabbed. She still had her money and purse and jewelry. And it wasn't a sexual assault, either. They attributed it to gang violence. Random wayward event. So, just like in Melanie's case, they couldn't think outside the box. So, they just tries to package it up nicely. And the killer was never caught.

CASTLE Why do you wear the watch?

BECKETT My Dad took her death hard. He's sober now. Five years. So, this is for the life that I saved. And...

[She reaches in her shirt and pulls out the necklace with the ring on it.]

BECKETT (CONT'D) this is for the life that I lost.

Oof, so good. So good. I love them.

CASTLE Until tomorrow, Detective.

BECKETT You can't just say "night?"

CASTLE I'm a writer. "Night" is boring. "Until tomorrow" is more hopeful.

The second cree word of this post: Wapaki. It means "tomorrow" but cree words are long. It means more like "if the sun rises tomorrow" & it implies that we have FAITH that the sun will rise tomorrow, we can't actually tell the future. We are just doing what we can. If, if the sun rises tomorrow.

& she doesn't lock her gun in her drawer.

Esposito & castle & getting the file & how did he convince espt to do this.

[41:50, INT. PRECINCT, RECORDS ROOM - NIGHT] Esposito enters, followed by Castle.

[Esposito leads him past rack after rack of file boxes, until he comes to one and opens it. He pulls out a file and hands it to Castle.]

ESPOSITO Remember, this never happened. I was never here.

CASTLE You have my word. Thanks.

[Esposito clears his throat]

ESPOSITO If you tell her I did this, I'll make you bleed.

CASTLE Understood.

ESPOSITO Good luck.

[The name on the file: Johanna Beckett. Castle takes a seat at a table and turns on the desk light as Esposito leaves, dousing the overheads. Lit by the light of the lamp, Castle looks down at the case file. He takes a breath, and opens it.]

I should do some chores.

[tutuandscoot]

Hey guys.. a little personal post coming up.. well kinda

I’m gonna write about my VM origin story. Some of these bits and pieces I’ve mention before, but I’m gonna tell the whole thing now, coz my journey with them, the effect they’ve had on my life is coming kinda full circle right now.

So here’s the timeline:

The first time I really took notice of them was the IE SD event at PYC 2018. This was February. In January of that year I had just started my second professional ballet company contract (however the first one was with a very small company, this second one was ‘the big time’). I was the second youngest in the company of over 40 dancers, I was the lowest ranked, but they had a new choreographer from Europe creating a new contemporary work. After the whole company workshopped with him for a few days, it became clear he was singling me out from the other girls (again girls with much more professional experience and far higher ranked than me) on the 4th day he split all the girls into 2 groups- what became obvious is that the first group (the group I was in) was the dancers he was seriously considering to cast) and others was just the rest to not seem obvious he had chosen already. The start of the next week, after a final sort of ‘audition’ I was cast in the ‘first cast’ of his ballet, the other girls and guys in cast were and much older than I (I was 19) and much higher ranked. As we began creating the ballet, it got to the section of music he said would be the pdd (duet)- about a 6 min long hauntingly beautiful piece of music. What I quickly realised, is following the preceding chore he had placed me on stage to start the pdd we had workshopped in the audition process. The creative process for this ballet was the most fulfilling thing I had ever done in my life- it wasn’t just that I was the choreographer’s ‘favourite’ but the environment we all created was so nurturing, even tho it was strict, I felt like I was thriving (it was like how VM described their artistic state once the moved to MTL)

Fast forward to February and we had begun our shows. It was in a beautiful outdoor amphitheater quarry where the audience sat on blankets as they watched us dance lit by the moon and stars (as well as stage lights obvs) it was a few shows in when I recall seeing a promo for the ice dance event on tv. I love the Olympics- it’s always been a big thing in my family to watch them. My first one was the Sydney Olympics and being Australian, that home games, even tho I was young has always been one of my strongest memories. I saw the promo/ fluff piece and it was highlighting VM. (It may have been a CBC or NBC piece- I doubt my broadcaster would’ve done of for them, I can’t remember, they might’ve) anyway, they spoke about their 20 years together and how much they cherish every moment together, how they want to be remembered- as true dancers. (I’m pretty sure this aired after the SD- coz I remember watching the SD not knowing who they were)

A dancers work is odd to most -professional dancers- during production season tour work schedule is even stranger-class in the morning, followed by a short rehearsal, then you go home for a break and get ready for the show (from like 5:30pm)

I was home one day, I had a performance that night, and I just happen to have the SD event on. I remember watching the Shibs and thinking it was a bit odd to be a brother sister team.. I can’t remember watching anyone else (they obviously didn’t leave an impression) but then VM came on. The impression they made even before they started.. TESSAAA!!! WTAF she looked like superwoman.. Scoottt with that hair and that costume. The CONFIDENCE!!! All before they even started. Then the music started.. and that is they had won my heart. Then the Samba rolls, the mid line step, the rhumba pattern, everything else.. I don’t think I blinked that whole time. I could not believe what I had just seen. They had just. DANCED on ICE..???!?!! Literally!! I’ve said in the past dancers tend to be critical of subjective sports like gymnastics and figure skating, but I could watch them and not pick one thing to pieces- obviously it wasn’t the exact same as dancing on the floor- but there was no need to be nit picky- their performance and connection and musicalityyyyy 😭😭😭😭. I went to go do my show that night soooo inspired.

The next day I saw the fluff piece and I fell even more in love with them.

I don’t remember seeing MR live, I feel like I had a full day at work, but as soon as I could I watched it. And I kid you not I was in tears. I had known who they were for hardly 24 hours and when their scores came up I jumped and screamed like they were my own babies. (I won’t go through MR the program now I’ll do that in a ‘first impressions’ post)

So for my next few shows, I just had the biggest inspiration I had ever had as an artist in watching T&S. the pdd I had to do, it was very dark and I tired to channel that bravery and abandon they had in MR into my dancing..

They were having the height of their career (the end of it) at the same time I was having the height of mine (the beginning)….

The olys ended and Not long after that, I was still in season.. I started getting pain in my hip. At first I thought it was my appendix.. that area, aching sort of pain. A few days past and I wasn’t feeling sick so I figure I had just strained something. The pain continued to get worse to the point I couldn’t do abdominal exercises. It kept getting worse and I kept getting treatment but it didn’t work. I was sent for an mri and they said it was a torn lignament (yeh no shit dancers have torn ligaments everywhere- it’s not gonna cause that much pain). Around that time we had another guest choreographer come to do a production of Dracula- he was choreographing it on our company so again a big deal and I love that creation process. At the end of a rehearsal- I went to ride my bike home and I was crying in agony, my hip felt broken, and abdominals ripped to shreds..

(I’ll fast forward a bit)

The pain continued through the first half of the year, having ok patches and then getting worse, still no one knew what to do. it didn’t hurt much to dance ( I could ignore it) so I kept dancing, hiding the pain from all the staff and director. I never missed one Corp de ballet show even tho I could barely walk to and from the theatre. I went on winter (summer- I went to Europe) break and I was starting to think that maybe this ballet thing wasn’t for me. I loved it- but it didn’t love my body, it didn’t love my anxious mind. I started to think maybe I didn’t want this anymore. And the way I am, once I get an idea in my head, it’s hard to move forward in contradiction to that.

Throughout this whole time, I kept coming back to VM. The phrase ‘come what May’ became a kind of mantra for me.. just as a way to get through each day. T&S resilience and determination.. I don’t know if I quite embodied it, but that phrase- connected to them, it got me through the next few months.

Eventually, it seemed it didn’t matter if I didn’t want to do it anymore, my body was going to decide that for me. The pain and discomfort got worse. The stress from it made me gain weight (for which at 53kg I was already considered ‘big’ ballerina) I felt incredibly alienated from my work colleagues, and very alone socially. My mum and I are very close and I was calling her every night, begging her to come over to visit me.

In October, as they were casting the last production of the year (the nutcracker) I went to see a scoliosis surgeon. I was all but certain the pain I was getting was caused by my back, which until this year had never given me serious trouble- I was one of the strongest and most flexible girls throughout training and could do things people with straight spines wouldn’t even attempt. But I think it had just run it’s course- it was such a bad scoliosis and just wasn’t holding me up anymore. The surgeon said point blank i need surgery, (I didn’t ‘need’ it- but that’s what most surgeons say) that was it for me. Emotionally I couldn’t take it, physically my body was falling apart. I went to the company physio and broke down and said I can’t do this any more, please help me get out of going back on stage. I’m done.

It’s the worse way to retire as a dancer- when it’s not on your own terms. Yes I was coming to the decision to stop anyway, but I didn’t get the good bye I’d wanted.

A few years past, I danced regularly for fun, still a little haunted by the toxicity of the industry. I found new ways to cope with my back- traditioned into being a bit more of a regularly fit human than a high performance athlete. But the pain didn’t go away.

I began to actually consider the idea of surgery, which was a scary thought for a long time, I needed some distance from dance. I needed to purge that a little more from my life so I knew I didn’t want to go back. I was still too close to it.

Fast forward again to July last year. I had come round to the decision to have surgery. At this time also, I fell back down the VM rabbit hole. Tbh I hadn’t really been down the rabbit hole. There was PYC, I vaguely recall about a week in 2019/20 where I watched a tonne of stuff on YT, found out some details, but not really a deep dive. I fell down it this time, coz the Tokyo olys were on and as I (my state-NSW) was in a hard Covid lockdown, I think every one turned to the Olympics for some moral boosting. Then, as it does, YouTube started suggesting Olympics events for me to watch. One of them, not Tokyo related, was the hour long compilation of VM’s olys routines. I didn’t have anything better to do, so I watched it…

Andddd now we are here.

VM were with me when I was having the highest moment of my life -just as they were.

Even tho I didn’t know a lot about them, something about them stayed with me through that very difficult year (I didn’t become a crazy tumblr fan or get in on the rumours- I just followed them on IG)

They came back into my life at the same time I was ready to fix this thing that (at least pain wise) all started around the same time as my love for them did.

They have been with me through the last year as I waited and prepared for surgery.

And they will be with me tomorrow- their resilience, determination, bravery, as I go and have a surgery that’s only been done a few times ever- a hybrid (fusion/tethering) scoliosis surgery.

VM inspire me in so many ways, artistically, athletically, their humanity inspires me, their love inspires me, their bravery inspires me.

I am no where near and never could be half the humans they are- they are special, they made each other special. I just love them a lot and I’m glad I’ve had them to keep me happy this past year.. or I guess 4 years.

I look forward to binge watching their beautiful programs for the thousandth time when I wake up tomorrow afternoon with a new spine.

Sending lots of love out there to you all.

💕

[fluffynexu]

imperial life (sorta)

life within the empire is very structured. it’s a society where everyone Knows Their Place and what they’re supposed to be doing.

for ex. there is a certain “life schedule” that imperial citizens are expected to adhere to.

ages:

0-5, raised by family as infants. sent to daycare during toddler years.

5-10, primary school. begin basic education.

10-15, junior school. continue education.

15-20, senior school. start some training alongside education.

20-25/30, MANDATORY SERVICE TIME.

25/30+, marriage and having children encouraged and you can live your life.

now after an individual completes their mandatory time actively serving, they can either continue to serve or return to other jobs and functions in the empire.

so you can have someone who was a foot soldier or sniper during their service time, but then return to “civilian” life as a florist or school teacher.

the sith follow a similar “life schedule”.

ages:

0-5, raised by family and like minded peer groups.

5-10, primary academy. basic training and education.

10-15, secondary academy. continued training and education.

15-20, preparatory academy. continued training and education.

20+, sith academy (proper) and from there, it depends on the individual sith’s master and rank.

tho the purebloods have a tendency to marry their children off after at the age of 20 (or young 20s) in hopes of procuring grandchildren (and therefore, securing family legacies) before anything... unfortunate happens.

another aspect of imperial life that is deeply entrenched within the civilization but never talked about too openly is the caste system.

everyone in the empire, sith or slave, is shoved into one of these castes. it is possible to move UP and DOWN. moving upward requires marrying someone of a higher caste, but ppl usually (tho not always!) stick to and marry within their own castes. moving down tends involves committing a crime and being punished for it, or disownment from family.

there are certain advantages of being a part of upper castes. which include, but are not limited to:

wider access on the holonet

higher pay

more options for housing

priority healthcare

less restrictions on travel

etc.

the two main groups the castes fall into are sith and imperial. obvs the sith castes are above the imperial ones.

castes among the sith are categorized by “blood purity” and family lineages. the older, purer bloodlines that can trace their roots to korriban are seen above sith who might not have such a heritage.

pureblood, greater families

pureblood, lesser families

human, greater families (usually have some pureblood family members as well)

human, lesser families (usually all human)

human, common (usually an individual that comes from a non-sith background that found sensitivity in the force)

alien

imperial castes on the other hand are categorized by “occupation” rather than bloodlines.

officers. self explanatory. within this caste the officers follow the rank order. ie, moff > captain.

healers. ppl who can help and heal others. doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc.

scholars. those who spend their time studying, researching, or teaching. scientists, philosophers, lawyers, professors, etc.

protectors. internal security of the empire. police type, firefighters, paramedics, emergency responders, imperial intelligence, etc.

farmers. self explanatory, also includes breeders (for fancy pets and vanity animals).

crafters. for those who MAKE or design things. artists, architects, engineers, cooks, tailors, etc.

traders. folks who buy and sell things or deal with money frequently. business people, vendors, bank folk, accountants etc.

entertainers. mostly performers of some type. actors, musicians, athletes, sex workers, etc.

cleaners. those who deal with trash or bodies. janitors, butchers, housekeepers, manicurists, waste management, groomers, etc.

casteless. ironically named, but still technically a caste. includes non citizens that may be visiting or traveling through, new imperial citizens, or disowned (usually non force sensitive) sith.

slaves. self explanatory.

in the old, old sith empire (pre arrival of exiles), the sith also had a ruler and priest caste. it can be argued that the two were simply merged into the modern sith grouping and all of their castes within.

as far as any that might be lawmakers and where they’d fit in. that’d be the dark council with some occasional input from very high ranking officers like the grand moff.

so in theory(!), anyone can move up or down the caste ladder. in reality it’s very rare and ppl are often born into one caste and simply live their life within its confines and die. but ppl across the entire caste system can and do work together frequently.

an ex is the sw and crew.

akrona is not only sith, but a pureblood from a greater family. making her one of the most privileged and (potentially) influential ppl in the empire.

quinn comes from a family of officers and they’ve all been at the relative top of imperial society for generations. even after his court martial he’s considered to be very lucky to have remained in the same caste.

pierce actually comes from farmers but managed to be promoted to an officer during his time in service. but since he wasn’t born into it, quinn some officers have an obvious bias against him for his position.

vette, being a freed slave is casteless. tho thx to having a sith benefactor and friend, she can get away with a lot more than others within her same social standing.

some notes under the read more since i KNOW you ppl don’t go to the op to read my darn tags! >,< lol

so... i know. i KNOW i didn’t list literally every single conceivable job that exist or could exist. you’ll have to excuse me on that lol.

and in case it wasn’t obvious, yes, i used my sw and my own hcs for the crew. NO, i am NOT saying that quinn dislikes pierce ONLY bc of “lower caste upbringing”. just that it’s one of many factors of tension between the two.

and regardless of caste, every citizen* in the empire is guaranteed food, shelter, water, and medical care. but obvs those in the upper castes would be eating the fanciest~ of feasts in their big ass floating mansions while the lower castes live off of ration bars and street food while living in small, utilitarian apartments. *does not include slaves since they are technically not citizens.

i am once again here to remind you that the empire is NOT

a democracy

capitalist

or a utopia

(but if for some reason you wanna make your empire all those things, go for it. i ain’t stopping you lol.)

but why castes?

bc it was an aspect of the ancient sith In Canon and thought i’d tinker with the concept.

lastly! i stfg...

IF YOU THINK ME MAKING A HC/WORLDBUILDING POST REFLECTS UPON MY MORALITY OR HOW I THINK A SOCIETY SHOULD BE RUN...

YOU HAVE NEXT LVL BRAIN ROT.

also, yes, you can use any/all concepts in whatever way you see fit if you want. you can also, ignore the whole thing!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 3 - this is proper YA, they are dealing with actual high school issues, picking uni, first crushes, online dating, etc... We even got a senior prom trope which almost never happens in Thai stuff (just the freshman uni competition variant). Standard plot pacing means PaperFah’s kiss was too early, might indicate we’re moving to uni in the second half of the series? Tropes included: let me feed you, hand hold, black & white striped shirt, floppy drunk & first kiss. 

Y-Destiny Ep 3 - the first MaxNat ep. Such fun to see them playing different characters. This one is enemies to lovers, tutor/student, but it’s using the “poor little rich kid loose cannon” archetype. Nat is doing his best, but it’s leaving me cold. Lots of tropes tho: boyfriend’s closet, floppy drunk, pillow clutch, the loom & water bottle. 

Lovely Writer Ep 8 - solid installment, good use of many tropes. I really like the leads and I’m glad there isn’t much side dish action, SibGene gave us: punish, touch your face, boyfriend claiming, kissing, sleep cuddling, symmetry, rooftop, cheek kiss, hand hold, and pillow clutch. 

Call It What You Want Ep 3-4 - couldn’t find the subs, don’t really care, will watch if it crosses my radar, otherwise I’m just not into it.  

Brothers Ep 11 - the “everyone wants Chol” show continues (but WHY?), he and Tri are cute together, and now I kinda just want Prab to end up with the twins. I’m confused by the teachers, but Boston showed up (from UWMA), and my boys KhunKaow got together (YES!), so I’m ultimately delighted with the episode. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 2 - the makeover happened, and we go from cute with glasses and braces to cute without them. (I’m reminded of those 90′s Pygmalion teen movies where the girl has glasses + ponytail and then *GASP* does not and *GASP* she’s HOT. This was the BL version.) Meanwhile, writers better be careful with Pi, he’s getting too tsundere to like. Did you see they gave AJ a 2gether music intro & pick up line? Well, it’s actually his brother JJ who plays Ohm in 2g. I cackled. GMMTV - you so cheeky. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 5 - half way point. My poor confused babies. It was a really sweet episode... if what happened before hadn’t happened in the way that it had. Also, these boys have a GREAT friendship but are probably the worst advice givers ever. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 3 fin - so cute! Our boys confessed and got together. There was an adorable mutual kiss (I love me a mutual, like Ingredients). Afterwards, they actually seemed to communicate with each other about both sex and their relationship. OMG. How original for BL! This was the last episode, so the series is short, but I still enjoyed it very much. RECOMMENDED. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 1-2 - oh boy this one is rough, we started out with homophobia child abuse and moved on to family drama + drunken dub-con one night stand. But production values and subs are better than normal for Vietnam (You Are My Boy levels) + our queer babies are out & proud + it’s higher heat + I’m weak. So I’m watching. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 25-27 - honestly not much happened, lots of back story. Things are looking dire for the ghosts unless they can turn the Scorpion (I LOVE HIM, he’s my precious deadly baby). Don’t know how they managed to make loosing a battle with an immortal sword god ex-friend cute... but they did. Did some calculations and at 36 eps, mathematically speaking, ep 30 will be the equivalent of a standard BL ep 11. Should I be scared for next week? 

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 1-2 - it’s so effing adorbs, soft bois do old fashioned tropes like arranged marriage + evil stepsisters meets the more modern fake relationship + secret identity in a surprisingly comfortable mix. It launched with baby is a floppy drunk, forced proximity, performative I saw you feed him, and some fun gay panic. It’s a lot lighter and faster paced than I was expecting, but this is Korea so I don’t know why I’m surprised. 

Stand Alones 

K-pop band OnlyOneOf dropped a new MV that is basically BL bait, using many of the tropes we know and love. I promise I’m not trying to lure anyone into K-pop I just thought it was interesting how consciously they’re yaoi dipping. 

Spin-off We Best Love Fighting Mr. 2nd, Shou Zhen | the Only Love Letter Once Written (SERIOUSLY WITH THE TITLES TAIWAN?) anyway there’s a something or other 25 minutes featuring Pei Shou Yi and his boy that aired Friday. It’s about 10 minutes of reboot footage with 15 min of new content, mostly set in the past. It entirely rests on Chih Tian Shih’s acting, fortunately for us he’s great. However, it doesn’t substantially change or add to these characters’ arcs from the finale of WBL season 2. I don’t know if there will be more or if this was just an extra footage fan service. 

COLOR RUSH GOT ITS MOVIE!!! Okay this is almost the tipping point for me to get Viki Standard. It’s listed at 1:56 minutes long but the original series had only c.120 running time - that is a lot of new content. Although i was disappointed by To My Star’s movie I loved Wish You’s, so I am hoping Color Rush got Wish You level treatment. That said, I feel Color Rush the series is damn near perfect already, hard to improve on perfection. 

Breaking News

Close Friend the series got an updated trailer featuring MaxNat (no subs) so if you like them in Y-Destiny or in Why R U get ready for them to play different characters again, this time for a sports romance segment. Like Y-Destiny, Close Friend looks to be another series of vignettes (Original trailer) coming April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) was intended release April 22 but is now postponed due to a surge in C19 cases in Thailand.

Tell the World I Love You, a Thai BL movie that was supposed to release last week, is similarly delayed.  

My Ride has been postponed indefinitely with no airing date. 

The Miracle of Teddy Bear got a teaser vid, no eng subs. 

Gossip

Thai BL actors Nanon (Bad Buddy), Yoon (YYY), and Mark Siwat (LBC, Bite Me) have tested positive for C19. Press releases stated they’re fine, tho filming has paused fore their various projects, obvs. (No word on whether Nanon’s current project was Bad Buddy or not, although it seems likely given his recent Arm Share episode.) 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[nightshadowhawk]

rating ninjago seasons with explanations because i was bored (spoilers obvs)

way of the ninja: 6/10 - i remember watching this ages and ages ago, to me they were just filler episodes to me as i’d watched all the way to rebooted at that point, not super interesting but it started everything so extra points for that

rise of the snakes: 5/10 - YES its old i know but the… the GD attack should have caused more chaos… destroyed more stuff… it only moved a couple cars in this season (which entirely changes in SoG with harumi’s flashbacks) which i thought was … weird, even when i was younger lol… but theres development of characters n all i think a lot of it is rad !

legacy of the green ninja: 6/10 - pretty good, i haven’t watched this in a while so i dont remember much but the end battle is Legendary so there’s extra points for that and also extra points for dareth being introduced hee hee

rebooted: 6/10 - the whole overlord and nindroids thing is … pretty cool ?? pixal and cyrus exist now so !!!! that adds points !!! when i was younger i remember watching zanes sacrifice a lot cuz i couldnt get over it, and now i can recite all the words off by heart … lol anyway i think this seasons ok 👍

tournament of elements: 8/10 - very good, i loved seeing the other elemental masters !!!! and chen is actually a very cool villain, especially when i was younger, i loved him then lol … the ending is kinda 😟 bc garmy technically dies but yea its a gud season C:

possession: 10/10 - this season is EVERYTHING???? the intro SLAPS, the whole aesthetic is incredible and not to mention theres a whole bunch of favourite characters content in this season so that adds extra points !!!! the story all flows smoothly and its just Mmmm so gud. i love it dearly, defo a comfort season i’ve watched it so many times

skybound: 7/10 - i can see why some people hate this season as the whole nadakhan marrying nya thing is VERY weird (even my cousin who was 6 at the time when we first watched it could tell that) … but theres extra points for 1. the whole misfortunes keep crew, i love them, and 2. the ninja replacements team, i also care them all so dearly … the lighting in this season is super good, and also the storyline threads together well, i just find it very Appealing how it goes back to how it started

hands of time: 4/10 - idk man its just … boring, i can’t really be interested enough to watch to the end of the season? extra points for acronix being pretty and the scruff moments tho lol…. also whats with more snake people …. cant be ninjago without snakes ig LMAO

day of the departed: 5/10 - i also just see this as a filler… i mean yes it tells how cole turned back from a ghost but otherwise it’s just kinda random but i still liked it

sons of garmadon: 7/10 - pretty good ! harumi is a very cool character tho i do think shes kinda selfish … like a lot of others probably lost family in the GD attack??? kind of confused … but the SoG group as a whole is VERY epic i love the designs for UV and mr E (killows design just throws me off tho… why Real Hands..)

hunted: 10/10 - SO damn good the storyline is EVERYTHING and i love how it switches POVs every so often to keep things on edge. its also pretty dark for a kids show and that makes it better, and the cinematics for this are all just AMAZING…. i care the dragon designs so much, mmmmmmmmmm beloveds :^)

march of the oni: 6/10 - wasted!!!!! potential!!!!! the oni were such a good show of fantastic character design and they were just….. taken out in like 5 seconds despite them literally being the embodiment of destruction? there was literally two seasons before this of the ninja dealing with one (1) embodiment of destruction and then when theres LOADS that make tentacle death clouds and are super OP they just … are defeated????? ok…… also what was the point in coles fall fr it just made me sad for no reason🙁

secrets of forbidden spinjitzu: 6/10 - the fire chapter was … cool ? i guess, wasn’t the most interesting, aspheera is hot tho lol😝(LITERALLY !!!!! Funny joke pls laugh.)also clutch being introduced adds points, love the stupid explorer man. the ice chapter is super dark, i loved seeing the never-realm and how everything worked there, and ?? evil zane ?!??!? sheeeeeesh that was a bold move that was super epic … i liked this part of the season :^0

prime empire: 10/10 - another comfort season YEAHHHHH !!!! the aesthetic !! so good !!! the characters r RAD like scott and okino and seven I LOVE THEM SO DEARLY ….. the soundtrack is RAD as well i listen to it plentifully …… the ending is happysad and i always go a bit cry when unagami and milton walk away together :’^)

master of the mountain: 8/10 - the whole slavery thing is … questionable but the skull sorcerer’s design is super awesome ! and the upply … i care them … :^)))) AND A COLE SEASON !!!! i loved the development for him !!! and the way that vania and cole stayed a friendship the whole time cuz it never implied they were gonna date or whatever which made me happy honestly … i rated it 8/10 as the extra points are from the upply

the island: shit/10 - what the fuck was that. the islanders were cool i liked their designs but seriously i hated the ending so bad like there was no reason for ronin to be the antagonist again … just let clutch steal the amulet and there you have it all set up for the next season whoooo

seabound: 9/10 - again i love the aesthetic, the glowy-ness of everything is so pretty in this, and the design for wojira is amazing … tho this season is super sad, im sure theres reasoning for the ending of it :)))))) the storyline is also very good in this ! it does actually make sense which sometimes doesnt happen ……...

[leviiackrman]

Personal Survey;

I was tagged by the fabulous @indorilnerevarine, thank you cutie🤍

tagging: @emuzeek @queennymeria @shadowglens @macvewileys @dredgenyoure @laszlokreizler @bllvkbird @trvelyans @neketakas + anyone else who’d like to do it!

name: jess (my family call me rowley tho)

age: 22 (april 16th)

height: 5’11”

zodiac sign: sun = aries, moon = taurus, rising = scorpio

where do you call home: the uk unfortunately, but proper rural uk

any tattoos or piercings: I have 6 piercings and 4 tattoos! 2 sets of earrings on both ears and an orbital on my right ear, plus a nose ring! For tats I have sam drakes birds on my right wrist, a little poppy behind my right ear, a detailed cherry blossom on my left inner bicep and morse code saying ‘Falmouth’ on my left forearm!! I have plenty more planned but alas, no money

last song you listened to: I’m listening to my release radar as I write this so last song I added from it was a remix of ‘toxic - Britney Spears’ and ‘pony - ginuwine’ ie the greatest remix ever

last movie you watched: ‘flavours of youth’ on Netflix!! I’m watching too many animes etc atm to list them all aha

last book or fanfic you read: I’m reading the my hero academia manga on my phone but physical book is my hero academia: school briefs!! My copy of volume 5 arrived today and I’m so excited

do you collect anything: too many things. But main collections are pop figures, art of books, dvds, plants, nerd related jewellery and now I’m collecting mangas haha

morning person or night owl: night owl forever. I can cope with mornings if I have to but I don’t like em

are you an optimist, a pessimist or a realist: a realist 100%. I used to mostly be a pessimist but now I’ve eVoLvEd

a quote you live by: ‘regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the things you did’ (dependant on the situation tho obvs - don’t use this as an excuse to be an asshole)

are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert: mostly introverted but I enjoy socialising and know quite a few people/can talk to strangers so explain that one

do you believe in the afterlife or not: I like the idea of an afterlife but I’m unsure on if I fully believe in it. The realist in me says there isn’t but I also like to be optimistic for my own depressed self lmao. I’m also a fan of the idea of reincarnation but again, might just like it cus it’s a nice thought yknow?

a weird or fun fact about yourself: I drink a bottle of milk every night before I sleep cus I’m a baby. Never had anything wrong with my bones or teeth either so don’t @ me

if you could have coffee with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be: my grandma. Idk if it’s just cus I’m emotional atm or not but I keep thinking about all the things she’s missed since passing and how I just wanna talk to her as the person I am now rather than the 9 year old I was when she passed. I just want to make her proud I guess /:

[bensiskos]

Which oc is most likely to order coffee black? Which oc when, if presented with the opportunity, would fistfight a Starfleet admiral on a live news broadcast? Which oc would win that fistfight? Which oc has their own ideas for a starship build? Which oc has ideas for a starship build that would never fucking work if put into practice? Which oc would whip everyone's ass at monopoly? Which oc do you think I would pick up off the floor and cuddle so sweetly? Which oc has the biggest action figure collection? Which oc can't sleep with the lights off? Which oc sleeps with a stuffed animal? Which oc thinks going to a beach is the perfect first date idea? Which oc thinks the beach is terrible? Which oc would stay up until 1 in the morning making picrews of their own little ocs? Which oc has escapism issues? Which oc brings all the best weed to parties? Which oc doodles on their hands? Which oc fantasizes about setting up curtains with someone they have a crush on? Which oc skips the curtain fantasies and goes straight for the wet dreams? Which oc claims with every fiber inside them that replicator food isn't as good as prepared food? Which oc thinks that last oc is crazy and replicated food is just fine? Which oc would get black out stone faced drunk in the back of Quark's and try to hit on Rom? Which oc would hit on Rom sober? Which oc would hit on Morn sober? Which oc would have told me to fuck off fifteen questions ago? Which oc loves orange juice? Which oc can't stand orange juice? Which oc would have ended the dominion war months before it actually ended? Which oc would have extended the dominion war? Which oc spends all their time on space Instagram posting selfies and decorative food that tastes like trash? Which oc forgets to brush their teeth?

Alright ok let’s do this (Thank u so so much for all the questions lmao <3)

1. Matos, they enjoy coffee with a lot of sugar and honey, but will take it black occasionally.

2. Adem, he has a lot of rage at starfleet for many different reasons (family issues, war issues, etc) and enjoys defying authority, the only person in command they listen to is Matos tbh

3. Breba <33 he loves coming up with really extravagant engineering ideas and then draws like 2 pages of their design and never touches it again because he’s 10

4. Breba again, Dave finds his drawings (and manages to decipher them) and is like. U wanna try building this in the holosuite? Of course, as holosuites do, it goes completely wrong

5. Hmmmm Breba Maybe because he’s a ferengi, but tbh probably Lowver, she has a good mind for capitalism I think, she might cry if xey win tho

6. Breba. I think you’d give Breba a nice good uncle hug.

7. Kahdghsjk I keep answering all of these with Breba… but it’s true he has the largest action figure collection

8. Lowver, while I headcannon vorta r sensitive to light she Hates the dark and refuses to go into dark places without someone with xem . She has absolutely done that thing where xey jump into another persons arms.

9. Breba obvs he has an adorable little bear <3 and also Solar! He has a small stuffed bird toy he got when he was very little and he’s kept it for a long time, Solar really enjoys keeping things I think

10. Miyar, while she hates Going Places she does enjoy sand and water and sun, and misses Cardassia very very much, so if she ever did manage to get a date she’d take them somewhere like that

11. Lowver. She can’t swim

12. Hmmmmmm maybe solar?? He’s a creative person, but also very punctual so he wouldn’t stay up that late so idk

13. Oh Adem def <3 he refuses to think about the actual world around her and will spend entire days in sickbay talking to Miyar just to like Not Have To Be There, I think Adem becomes an honorary medical officer after a bit

14. Matos <3 she takes it for medical reasons but also will give you some (if you are of legal age for your species)

15. Brebaaaa my beloved <3 Dave gets him a set of skin safe markers and lets him go wild

16. T’athy lmao, she thinks she wants to Work and Command but what she really wants is like. A home. She also loves home decor even though she won’t admit it

17. Eh

18. Matos or Miyar, it’s the one thing they agree on

19. T’athy and Adem, but for different reasons. T’athy says the replicator is fine, it’s just fine. And Adem claims replicated food is BETTER then prepared food

20. Miyar if she was feeling Incredibly Self Destructive, dw Adem will help her get home

21. None of them but Breba will ask Rom many many questions about engineering and be extremely excited to see another ferengi in engineering

22. … Matos

23. Adem, he loves talking about herself but refuses to get into anything feelings related

24. Lowver :3 she likes fruit but not really sweet fruit

25. Breba, he doesn’t like sour things

26. Matos in spirit but Miyar maybe actually could’ve helped if she wasn’t um. self centered and evil

27. Uhh Lowver probably because she was a dominion worker before she got better lmao

28. Adem <3 like I said, enjoys escapism and replicated food

29. Breba, he just forgets sometimes!! Dave always makes him do it tho

[valeriahornyy]

The Creatures do work like cleaning to earn money, there's a shop near the very bottom so they can buy stuff

Phineas actually takes care of the whales and other marine life, meanwhile Aurla tries to kill them

Spooky's and Eyth's magic seems to make people stop aging or at least stop aging at a certain age, which explains why Spooky is still 12, 15 years later

Speaking of magic involving Spooky and Eyth, they were brought back to life by the ssme thing (along with Taker), that thing being one of the specimen 1s, that being Jeli

The Demon child was a child that was murdered in the kid's hospital and was brought back by Jeli as a demon, although it seemd she's trying to resist the magic that's trying to make her evil by hiding in a mirror

Some of the kill counts for Specimens are inaccurate as those a few were actually caused by the 1s (E.i, Bab, Jasper, Chomper..)

Phineas / Fin really liked marine life, mainly dolphins, Jeli got an idea and used his magic to make him go wild, causing him to operate on himself, everyone thinks he did it for his love of dolphins but Fin was just mind controlled

Lines' body ends at the end of his torso

Lines' speech tends to get distorted (backwards speech, random muting, glitching)

Paina was AI for sunshine academy but got out via Spec.1 magic, yet she can still be developed further

Subject 5s are named 5 as they are the 5th Specimen 3s, the others died either in testing, having to be exterminated or they just. Dissapeared

Lisa and Bab tend to get along very well due to their shyness

Bekka likes to blast music just to make everyone mad lol

Jaime has honks own dimension, it sometimes goes to it to see how everything is going (the dimension being an abandoned theme park)

They let other Specimens, monsters, dolls and unknowns in to play, although xe makes them leave after a while, claiming that staying for too long is risky

Hooky was a runaway and went to the mansion for security, didn't work out as planned for her

Parry isn't just red, xey can be green and blue too

When Parry has a host, xey are asleep and someone enters xem, the host will have trouble knowing where the person is, only when under xey're control or when xey are awake can the host know exactly where they are

Parry and Stanely are like roommates, they get along sometimes but they fight and annoy each other a lot

Stanely also has a furry coat

When first encountering Parry, xey were a greenhouse, xey kept trying to scare him and lock doors but he just kept pulling through, xey tried getting him attacked by ferocious plants and only let him have a scythe but he still lived, Parry got angry and tried xeir last trick was to turn into a mansion and hang him, and it worked

In some of the crates, Aurla has some things like files, or just random papers, in others there's some beach toys, in others theres drawings Bab made for him, that's another reason he doesn't get on the crates, he doesn't wanna accidentally break them

Lines can travel via electricity (through telephone poles, computers, wires.. obv he can't leave the mansion tho)

Taker and White Face are one of the biggest frenemies, they usually only get along when trying to harm others and most of the time they just argue

Tirsiak used to be extremely cold and mean to everyone besides Kanerek, he wanted nothing to do with anyone fearing they'd hurt him or he'd get attached only to lose them, but after a while of basically forced friendship activities he warmed up to Bab first and then slowly to everyone, hes still a prick but he's doing better

The ones made their own mansion, they only took in monsters that were similar to the creatures from Spooky's or made their own

They were created as back up and to challenge the others. They represent what the originals (reffering to the ones in Spooky's) don't wanna be and their trauma. The ones liked to joke and call some of them coincidences and calk them rip offs

Lisa is welsh and has a bit of an accent

None of the hospital monsters have forgiven Eyth for what xey did, it affected them all and Eyth takes it as a joke, xey constantly make fun of the monsters for being "petty"

Bekka and Jon are the only ones fluent in Japanese but their accent shows sometimes

Bekka has a lot of medical and biology based knowledge but is still a complete dumbass when it comes to almost anything else

Lisa hasn't and never will forgive her ex husband for shooting her. Hell she's happy that he's probably dead

Lisa has frequent aches and pains all around her body

Bekka REALLY likes chocolate

Tirsiak is very good at archery and hunting, as apposed to Kanerek who's pretty mediocre

Tirsiak used a spell to give himself antlers and appear more masc

Tirsiak had died in the past but never realized, his necklace kept him somewhat alive and is what gives him his powers

Bab sometimes cleans his sword, he's dissapointed in himself that it got a bit rusty as that sword used to belong to his dad

Aurla can talk to marine creatures and loves to take care of the landsharks

Jasper was interested in how humans made food so he'd often steal recipe books and try making things himself and when he got to the mansion, Otto helped him out

Jasper doesn't like being viewed as a fast food worker or manager, he just wanted to protect his kin from constantly being used as food

Spooper sees Lisa as his mom because his old parents were abusive and Lisa is the mother he never got to have

This makes Lisa very happy

Kal is like an older brother to Spooper

Bekka's hands are black due to frostbite

Noah is very good at reading people, mainly because of his own experience. He's very good at telling if you're lying, sad, happy, sketchy..

Noah had to be bumped down to a hospital patient due to an incident and Bekka was his nurse

Noah usually has to change his bandages, he thinks he looks hideous but most people think otherwise (especially Jon)

Tirsiak used to be very cold and aggressive towards everyone as stated before, his best friend had died thanks to Ben in the past and he lost his tribe and family. He trusted no one

Once he learned how to speak english better he would learn to cuss out and shoo most people away. He only trusted Kanerek

Bab always tried to be his friend but was regularly pushed away even if all Tirsiak wanted deep down was a friend again, he was just afraid of losing everything again so if there was nothing to love there was hardly anything to lose.

It took a long time of lectures but one day he noticed Bab didn't seem to get the hint. Actually it never seemed like they did. Tirsiak gave in and let Bab just hang around, Tirsiak was surprised to find that he somewhat enjoyed Bab's presence.

He started to be less of an ass, he let Bab just hang out with him.

Maybe having friends again wouldn't be a huge risk?

He decided to be a bit nicer, he's still harsh and agressive but makes an effort to make friends and be nice

He found that he really liked Hooky and Ringu, at first he merely thought they were attractive but now he really does love them

Tirsiak learned english via the others teaching him and him repeating what others said. That's where he got his voice lines from, he stole them from Kanerek (and she ended up changing hers)

Lisa knows sign language

Bab's mom was trying to contact him in the afterlife via the cult and the cult tbought she was mother. One day her grasp and connection was slipping and she told thet cult that Bab was the new mother

Despite this, Bab never planned to be a mother, but then came the landsharks

Bab doesn't mind being their mother figure

Lisa sometimes gets carried away and will write their thoughts or make random doodles on notes made for chases

Lisa likes to listen to music while drawing, Bekka will let her borrow her MP3 and headphones when they're hanging out

Lisa has tourretes and autism and often hums and twitches

They'll flail their hands and tip toe as a happiness stim

Jasper has major sensory issues and the slightest High pitch, weird looking thing, anything that feels uncomfortable, or smells bad or extremely strong it'll will drive him off the walls

Lisa was taken away from the hospital while trying to hide from GLA and when she reunited with the hospital monsters, whenever they sense a GLA is coming they get hostile and if Lisa is over, Bekka won't let go of her until they're gone

The dolls sometimes disobey Spooky and GLA because of how bitter they are about what happened

Hooky tends to drown her sorrows in alcohol and it's become a regular thing for her

Because of how GLA treated him, whenever Charles feels any negative emotion coming on he'll go to sleep, it often results in nightmares but the emotions most of the time go away and he feels better when he wakes up

Frenzy has tried helping them but Husker knows all too well that there's no helping them

Clicky doesn't regret killing her dad, she always knew he was a bad man

She also just doesn't care

She never cared if her mom was unwell, she never cared if her friends were hurt. Sure she has some sympathy for the mansion residents but not much

Clicky likes waking people up with her constant clicking

She can detach herself from walls and walk freely, not very easily but she can still do it

Hooky, despite it being part of the reason she's in the doll, treasures hooks and many slim sharp objects

Although she also has an interest for anchors and morning stars

Frenzy often bakes small things like cookies and cupcakes for people and shares it's recipes with Jasper and Otto

Otto, despite seeming like he'd be a dumbass, does have common sense

He takes no shit from White Face, constantly triea to tell off Tirsiak for being a dumbass, gives Lisa the rudest reassurance and just ignores Spooper and Kal

He's friends with Jasper but even he admits that Jasper isn't very bright

Otto can swim and is warerproof

The pizza he gives you is poisoned, but it usually fails or takes a long ass while to kick in no matter how many times he's tried different poisons

Otto is aware of the whole FNAF thing and hates being seen as some FNAF rip off and being called the names of the animatronics from FNAF

Otto used to be a cook before he died and was stuffed inside of Otto The Otter

Spooper will sometimes change his costume to sort of socialize and copy others (dressing in all black because of Bekka, wolf outfit because of Tirsiak, face paint for Jaime..)

Hooky is drunk when he chases you

Husker is emotionally detached and has no desire to be attached to anyone, it just knows they exist and pays no mind to them

Jaime doesn't like scaring people and admits that she wishes she didn't look so ugly

WF used to be bullied to a breaking point

She gets overly attached and easily falls in love with whoever even tolerates her

She is aware people can die from her game but she just wants literally any fun even if it's for a short while

She loves to wear dresses and likes to appear femminine, and HER is unsurprisingly her favorite form to take

WF constantly picks on everyone due to her past, shyer and weaker people are often her main victims

She loves teasing Lisa all the time and is often super rude to them even though deep down, WF does care about Lisa a little

Bekka has a room saved for Lisa for whenever they come over to visit to the hospital

They love watching movies together and hanging out

They're also super comfortable with each other and will fall asleep together

The deformity wing in the hospital is a psychological torture chamber Eyth made

Some of the residents have tried exploring it but either got lost or got scared and ran out

Lector loves to make sure things are spotless and perfect, if it's body bag gets even the smallest stain it'll be pissed

Taker has a collection of stuffed toys but doesn't tell anyone

He thinks they're cute

Bab found out and hasn't said a word about it to anyone

Bab also thinks plushies are cute and will often help him in his collecting

Taker is surprisingly a good babysitter, the kids adore him

It loves to get into mischief with whoever it's supposed to be babysitting and pull pranks

Tirsiak has a stuffed toy of a wolf that Hooky made for it

It treasures it dearly and doesn't let anyone touch it

It even sleeps with the toy

There's a sewed on heart on it too

Sleeping with it reminds him of Hooky

Ringu and Hooky love cuddling Tirsiak because he's fuzzy and Tirsiak and Ringu Love cuddling Hooky because soft

Ringu is also cuddle material to them

Hooky is good at knitting and making plushies

If anyone tries flirting with the creatures it often times leaves them confused or angry or both

The most common one to take the flirt and possibly flirt back is White Face

Bab used to have a girlfriend but they broke up because her gf was an asshole to others

Fleshy is very good at reading people, they're even better than Noah

Kat can too but is too apathetic to care

Kat forces a smiley face and a good attitude when Fleshy is soon about to chase them to give the victim a false sense of hope

Fleshy often has to calm down or stop Kat from being overly angry

Fleshy can hear the other souls but is also capable of tuning them out

Kat is the spirit of a GLA who was used for testing and nya killed Fleshy out of rage

Kat is capable of giving souls and bodies to fleshy but doesn't want to because xe doesn't care

Kat fucking hates other cats, hell xey hate almost everything

Fleshy on the other hand loves everything but doesn't love some organisms enough to let them live

Fleshy loves to cause trouble and is a general nuisance

Bekka hates wearing pink

Ben loves making and trying on outfits and will willingly wear dresses and anything embarrassing

Goop can be mixed with other substances but it makes him uncomfortable

Goop boils and heats up when he's mad

Two and Three are capable of reproducing asexually, but choose not to because they know not a lot of people wanna deal with mini S3s

Lines is quick to anger and violence

Her body is electrical when she's angry

So

Yeah

That's gotta hurt

Lisa has dyspraxia and autism

Bekka has ADHD

Whoa. (゜o゜;

[bpdeadd]

long post //

apparently my ‘therapist’ is back at work, I heard it from my sisters therapists bc they r obv working at the same place but I was just like ‘yeaaahhh, I don’t need that cunt anymore, I'm fine on my own’ ??? plus I aint calling him, he can fucking call me since he fucking left me alone for like 5 months n I hadn’t gotten a single word from anyone - plus the fact whenever I did call that lady at that place, she would say weird shit to me, n u know he can also fucking apologise to me for leaving me that fucking long, like if I ever do get a session I'm fucking going off at him for that, I don’t give a shit if u were ill - u can’t just fucking leave someone for that long who has been waiting a fucking year for one session n who yr meant to fucking ‘treat’ or w/e, this is a fucking apparent ‘personality disorder’ specialist treatment thing as well, tho tbh I don’t rly want therapy anymore, like i’ve done more for myself the past few months then anyone has ever done, I feel better about myself now, n I'm not actively suicidal anymore - nor do I think about it as often as I did, like I've had numerous therapy sessions over the years n even a group therapy for ppl w bpd n none of it ever fucking did anything, plus group therapy pissed me off bc they kind of left u alone after the sessions ended, no follow ups or anything, u were just on yr own like bYE, PLUS they kept cancelling a number of sessions which they never made up for, and other ppl in the group were getting annoyed about it too, and this one therapist triggered me off really fucking badly - I had to leave the room to fucking calm tf down, and to apologise she stood outside the bathroom when I was coming out during break (THE WEEK AFTER as well), - practically jump scared me bc she was just standing in front of the door - so like I opened the door n she was right in my face - bc thats fucking normal, n then said it was a ‘joke’ or w/e to the thing that triggered me like ‘oh I'm sorry, it was just a joke’ so I was like wtf plus she forced me into a hug at the end of one of the last sessions, wouldn’t let fucking go n I was like trying to get tf away from her  n push her away n she was like ‘no! u need to hug for a certain amount of time so u can get endorphins’ or w/e it was, n I'm like no that makes me more stressed and freak out but ok u fucking cunt, like wtf is wrong w this bitch??? like she was weird n I don’t like ppl fucking touching me so no. the ppl in the group were ok, I talked to one girl mostly who had bpd & hpd, n there was a lady who bought her massive dog w her, like I can’t rem what breed it was but it was a massive black dog who was friendly n kept coming up to everyone for our attention, so we’d be paying more attention to the dog then the actual sessions which we used to get yelled at for, plus there was another lady who left part way through who was rly fucking angry and aggressive n used to apparently start fights w random men she hated n she had been to prison a few times like she was great tbh n we’d just smoke outside before sessions n during breaks so 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 but the therapists were shit, n every other therapist I've had has been shit, n these family therapists bc of my sisters situations were pissing me off the other day trying to talk about my ‘recovery journey’ n I was like - none of u r ever going to be involved, its none of yr damn fucking business, especially my family bc yr all the fucking reason I'm like this to begin with PLUS I aint recovering m8, if recovery just means becoming more ‘neurotypical’ - hiding my symptoms, n becoming more of a ‘convenience’ to others around me, so they don’t have to deal w my ‘scary, spooky’ symptoms n disorder - you can fuck right off - cunt. Plus the fact that both of these therapists seemed freaked out n didn’t like me ‘labelling’ myself w ‘borderline personality disorder’ - I DIDN’T EVEN LABEL IT I JUST SAID I HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED W BPD N ONE WOMAN LOOKED SO FRIGHTENED AND JUMPED BACK IN HER CHAIR N THE OTHER ONE WAS LIKE DON’T LABEL YRSELF THST DOESN’T HELP, BITCH WHAT ARE U ON ABOUT???? I can’t fucking deal w anyone anymore omggggg 😩😩🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️