#she’s just so important to me and one day I will write an essay on why everyone is so wrong

[star-burrry]

When I’m about to like a post and then it ends up being about hating Teresa

[sagesfandomspot]

the fact that jess shakes his head in disappointment while knowing it’s the same girl that missed her mother graduation to see him in his hometown is insane to me. logan told her to do something stupid, something fun, something bad for her, but we are talking about the girl that went to nyc by herself to see a guy and she wasn’t even sure he’d be there!!! jess knows it, he knows her.

NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!! Like, here Logan is, giving her this speech about being brave and doing scary things or whatever, when he doesn't even know her. She jumped on a bus to New York to see a boy with absolutely zero plan, she chose a different school than she'd planned her whole life, she was student body vice president even though she really didn't want to be, never backed down from whatever challenge Paris threw at her at the Chilton paper (parking lot paving? And interviewing her mom's ex fiancé?? I mean come on, that was NOT easy), she navigated an incredibly challenging extended family (I mean, her mom and grandparents constantly fight and still Rory managed to have a relationship with everyone, and her dad who was mostly absent from her life has another daughter and still Rory was there for the kid's birth), and those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. She's done so much that Logan doesn't know about because he never cared enough to ask but somehow in one conversation has her questioning everything about herself.

Meanwhile Jess knows just how very Not Rory the girl in front of him is just by taking one look at her. Knows she is lost and confused and scared after one conversation. He's the only one she has ever let her guard down around, felt safe enough to be truly herself, because he never tried to change her. And because of that, he knows her.

[livvyofthelake]

did not mean to sleep until 4pm. well ok.

[beesorcery]

weh

[maysileeewrites]

home is wherever i'm with you

modern boyfriend!Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!reader

Synopsis: After a long, stressful day of studying for your upcoming exams, Jacaerys knows a way or two to help you unwind and relax … (modern AU!)

word count: 2k (she's a shortie!) || Jacaerys masterlist 

c.w.: fluff; established relationship; tooth-rotting fluff; dorks in love; bantering; Jace is down bad for the reader

AN: I'm back! I know I've been mia for a while now, and to be honest, I haven't been writing all that much lately ... but anyways, please enjoy this tooth-rotting, sickeningly sweet Jacaerys fluff!! And no, I was definitely not inspired to write this due to my own exam stress ...

You sigh, tiredly rubbing at your eyes, before looking back down at your laptop screen and trying to concentrate on the essay you’re reading again. 

Trying, and failing. 

You’re not quite how often you’ve already read this paragraph on the years following Aegon’s conquest, without really comprehending and taking in any of the information the paragraph provides. Theoretically, you already know all of that - you’ve been studying for your end of term history exams for what feels like an eternity already. 

But, afraid of failing the exam, you decided on revising today and tomorrow, before the exam will inevitably take place on Friday. How has time slipped away so much that already, that the exam isn’t even two whole days away from now? 

A soft, tentative knock on your room’s door draws you out of your thoughts, and without looking up, you call out: „Yes?“ 

Your boyfriend enters the room, stopping mid stride when he sees you behind your desk, head between your hands, laptop and open history textbooks surrounding you. 

„Just wanted to say that dinner was ready- you’re still studying, darling?“ 

„Yes!“, you snap, with much more venom behind the word than you’d intended. 

You close your eyes, sighing. „Sorry. I didn’t - I’m just so stressed-“

„Well, no more studying for today“, Jace says and you can hear him stepping closer. When you open your eyes again, he’s gently closing your laptop and already reaching for one of your textbooks, when you reach out with your hand, grabbing his and preventing him from doing anything else. 

„Hey stop that! I was annotating that essay and if you’re the reason all my annotations are gone, I’m going to kill-“

„Yes, I love you too, darling“, Jace says, laughing lightly. 

You shake your head in frustration. „This isn’t funny Jace, I need to study for this exam, otherwise I’m going to fail! And then - and then they’re going to drop me and then what am I going to do?“

Jace’s eyes widen at your words and you bite down hard on your lip, immediately wishing that you could take your words back, or at least the venom in them.

But before you can say anything else, Jace leans down towards you, reaching for your right hand and gently interlacing your fingers together.

„Okay, first of all - you’re not going to fail, you’re way too smart for that. And second - what you need is to take a break and breathe. I know how important that exam is for you, but running yourself ragged, studying all day long is only going to drain all your energy. Please, love, you need to take a break, even if it’s just a short one.“ 

His tone has turned soft and pleading and when you feel the gentle squeeze of his hand, you can’t resist the warm, light feeling spreading inside you and slowly taking over your panicked and nervous state. 

„I hate it when you make sense“, you mumble, trying to fake-glare at him, but when your eyes find Jacaerys’ dark brown ones, and see the love and concern for you in them, your lips inevitably curve up into a smile. 

Jace just smirks, before leaning in closer towards you and gently pressing his lips to you. 

You close your eyes, leaning forward into the kiss and enjoying the sensation of Jacaerys’ soft lips moving against yours, making you forgot all your fears and worries about the exam, if only for the moment. 

But just when you move to wind your arms around his neck, Jacaerys breaks the kiss, smirking when you sigh frustratedly. 

„Dinner first“, he says firmly, standing up and taking your hands in his. He tugs on them, but you’re not ready to give in just yet. 

„Oh come on, don’t be such a-“

„Caring and loving boyfriend?“, Jacaerys says, interrupting you with a knowing smirk. 

You nod, feeling guilty for the moody and irritated way you’ve behaved earlier - and probably the last few days as well. „Yes - sorry I’ve been behaving so - so … like - like this lately …“ 

Jacaerys’ expression softens and he gently squeezes your hand. „You don’t have to apologize, love, not for that-“

„No“, you quickly interrupt him, standing up as well, and freeing one of your hands from his grasp, only to gently tuck a stray curl of his dark hair out of his face. „I want to. I can only imagine that I haven’t been easy to be around lately, and you haven’t even said a word and-“

Jacaerys interrupts you by leaning forward and kissing you. 

The kiss is soft and gentle, and once again over way too soon. 

Breaking the kiss, Jacaerys leans his forehead against yours, smiling softly. „I love you so fucking much, darling.“ 

You feel a familiar, fluttering sensation, like butterflies in your stomach. Jacaerys does that to you, he’s always had the ability to turn you to mush, with just a few heartfelt words, accompanied by soft, loving glances. 

„I love you, Jace“, you say, your breath hitching. 

You want to say more, to put into words just how much you love him, but words don’t feel adequate enough to describe the current of emotions threatening to overwhelm you, and so instead, you lean forward and press your lips to his again, hoping to convey all your emotions with the kiss. 

As you kiss him, your hands find their way into his hair, tangling themselves in his dark curls. But just when you begin tugging at his hair the way you know Jace enjoys, he breaks away from you again, panting slightly. 

„Later“, he promises you with a satisfied smile when you whine slightly as he steps away from you, putting a bit of distance between you two again. „Dinner first - I made your favorite.“ 

That convinces you, as he most likely knew it would. 

You follow him into the kitchen of the flat you two have been living in together for almost a year now, but stop short when your gaze falls on the laid-out kitchen table. 

Jacaerys hasn’t just cooked your favorite meal, you think, heart filling with love for the boy who holds your heart in the palm of his hand. He’s prepared you a candlelight dinner - the whole kitchen is aglow with the soft light of the different candles he’s lit, and he’s even decorated the table with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. There’s a bottle of your favorite wine as well as a box of your favorite chocolates. 

„You’re the best“, you say breathlessly and overcome with emotions, moving over to Jacaerys and hugging him from behind. Your hands move around his waist, coming to rest on his stomach, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck. 

Jacaerys’ hands come to rest upon yours and he turns his head, catching your gaze. „Only the best for my favorite girl“, he says, smiling smugly when he sees you rolling your eyes at his words. 

„You’re such a dork!“ 

„Yes, but that never bothered you, did it?“

You laugh, stealing a kiss from him, before forcing yourself to step away from him and moving towards the kitchen table. Really, you could’ve stayed like this with Jacaerys forever, soaking in his comforting presence, but now that your mind isn’t fixated on Aegon’s conquest and other historical events anymore, you can acknowledge that you really are quite hungry. 

And Jacaerys is a great cook and he’s made you your favorite meal. Your boyfriend really is the best. 

So, you pour each of you a glass of wine, before sitting down and impatiently waiting for Jacaerys to sit down next to you, raising your glass. 

„To the best boyfriend there is“, you say with a stupidly lovesick smile on your face, clinking your glass against his. 

„Now who’s the dork?“, Jacaerys teases you, before taking a swig from his wine glass. 

In reply, you only roll your eyes again, before setting the wine glass down again and reaching for the cutlery. 

„Wait“, Jacaerys says, just when you’re about to dig in. 

You raise your eyebrows in confusion as you watch him pick up his phone and opening the camera application, setting it to selfie-mode, leaning in towards you. 

„For Helaena“, Jacaerys says, laughing lightly, when he notices your confused expression. „As proof that I actually got you to sit down and eat something." 

You roll your eyes, but still, you feel a certain warmth at his words. Helaena isn’t just Jacaerys’ cousin, but one of your best friends - actually, it was her that introduced you two to each other, years ago, when you were still in high school. The rest is history. 

The smile on your lips is warm and genuine as you lean your head onto Jacaerys’ shoulder, looking at the camera. But then, just when Jacaerys taps on his phone to take a photo, you quickly turn your head, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, which causes Jacaerys to smile widely. 

You’re pretty sure that your smile matches Jacaerys’ as he shows you the photo - both of you with your eyes closed, smiling stupidly wide. 

„Perfect“, you whisper, stealing another quick kiss from your boyfriend, before finally digging into your food. 

„Mhm“, you sigh with your eyes closed, after tasting your food. „Delicious, as always.“ 

Jacaerys smiles and you can see his cheeks turning rather pink, causing the butterflies in your stomach to return as well. It seems that no matter how long you’ve known him, no matter how long you’ve been together, his effect on you will never change. And, seemingly, neither will yours on him. 

As you continue to eat dinner and sip your wine, you tell each other about your day. As always, there’s a lot of laughing and bantering involved, especially as you tell Jacaerys about your frustration with one of the essays you’ve read today. 

Throughout dinner, the warm, exhilarating and slightly dizzying feeling in you only seems to grow, as do the butterflies in your stomach. 

Jacaerys keeps finding small ways to touch you - a quick kiss pressed to your cheek here, a soft squeeze of your hand there, his arms around your shoulders. You gravitate towards him, leaning into his touch, as you always do. 

When he shows you Helaena’s reply to the picture of you two he sent her, your head is resting on the crook of his neck, his arms around your waist. By this point, you’ve both finished eating, but neither of you seems ready to get up from the table just yet. 

You dorks, Helaena has written. But glad you’ve managed to get Y/N out of her study cave.

„Hey!“, you say in protest to the term study cave, causing Jacaerys to laugh. 

Just then, Helaena’s next message appears on his phone screen. I know you’re reading this, Y/N. You know exactly what I mean by study cave. And you also know that breaks are important! 

„Yes, mum“, you say, sighing quietly, which only causes Jace to laugh again. 

„She’s just worried about you“, he says, after typing out a quick reply to Helaena, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. 

You sigh, this time much more guiltily. „I know …“ 

„And she’s right“, Jacaerys replies, „breaks - and relaxation are important …“ 

You’re not quite sure whether he’s still talking about Helaena’s message. Looking up at him, and seeing the darkened expression in his brown eyes, full of yearning, you know that he’s not talking about her messages anymore. 

The butterflies in your stomach are back in full force, and when you speak again, your voice comes out much more squeakily than you’d intended it to. „You think I need to relax more?“ 

There’s an amused glint in his eyes now, as Jace nods. „Yes - and I know exactly how we can accomplish that …“ 

„Oh?“ 

Then, his lips are on yours, the kiss hot and bruising and demanding.

You don't think about your exam for the rest of the night.

Not even once.

tagging: @earth4angels (sorry for the long wait!)

[inupibaldspot]

So It Matches Your Eyes.

Characters: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : Highschool!Gojo has a crush on you, idk mane.

To Yaga, this was a sight of fresh air which almost acted a light reminder that his students being so strong and special affiliated with cursed energies where still children.

His four second year students were all under detention after forgetting to make a veil when they carried out a mission. Dealing with the after math which consisted of explains to the elders and finding excuses on how to twist the media had led him to not sleeping for three days! Now he was making all of them write an descriptive essay on why veils are such importance to jujutsu sorcerers . Shoko’s seat was empty though , she was summoned in the infirmary after a third year student was severely injured from a mission, Yaga hoped Shoko didn’t miss out too much of her school days.

Despite, Yaga having a book in his hands as he read through got distracted my a certain trouble maker student, Gojo Satoru. A strong young man born into the esteemed Gojo Clan, blessed with infinity and six eyes was currently looking a certain someone sitting next to him.

You who was always diligent was working on your essay, occasionally closing your eyes with a small pout and when you felt you finally got a point worth writing down,tongue slightly jutting out from the corner of your lips which would make Gojo’s lips curl up as his eyes soften. Ahh young love.

Yaga had noticed how Gojo’s seat would be much closer to yours as compared to the regular seating arrangements, and if anyone Yaga himself would come in early and make changes to the seating, Gojo would always nonchalantly, without fail shift it closer to yours.

“Yaga Sensei, I’m done!” You shouted up from your seat which made both Yaga and Gojo, jump as you rush quickly up to your teacher with your paper which you had your essay written on. “ I’m done so I’ll be leaving. Drama of Haruma Miura will be coming out and I haveeee to watch it live.”

“Wai-!” Ignoring Yaga’s shout you quickly made your way out of the door leaving a trail of dust behind with how quick you were which made Geto laugh at your antics.

Yaga quickly scans through you essay and sighs. It’s well written so I have no place to complain. “Sensei, I’m also done!” Gojo quickly rushes to his teacher and places his paper on his table about to rush away, in a rush to follow you.

Before Gojo could take another step, he felt a tug on his collar as his turns his head to look at his teacher who had a scrowl on his face. “Satoru,I asked for a descriptive essay!”

“Not only did you write me an argumentative essay, your essay completely sided with not putting up a veil because that’s a drag and ordinary people should just suck it up.” Geto sits completely amused, as Yaga never lets go of Gojo’s collar as he continues to shout at him, the way you’ve got Gojo completely following you everywhere with his puppy love was funny as fuck.

You flinch as the door to your slams open which makes you turn your head to find a scrolling Satoru Gojo walk in with his hands in pocket. “ Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

“Beats me.” Despite entering the room like an uncivilized person would gently close the door behind him, he didn’t want more scolding from you. His eyes trails to you who sat on your bed with a small table on your bed, your hand was extended with nail polish es sets on the table. “Weren’t you gonna watch a drama or something?”

You huff as you made sure your left hand was staying still,making sure the mail polish dries properly. “He kisses the female lead so I don’t wanna watch the drama no more…”

Gojo’s smiles, a condescending one in fact as he walks and slowly sits on your bed making sure your nail polishes don’t fall over. “Sucks to be you~” He purrs out his words.

“Hmp! I hope Inuoe Waka gets exposed for having a husband.” You say with Gojo going ‘blah blah’ in the background, smile still plastered on his face. Your eyes look over to his, sharing an eye contact as you smile. “Want to put on some nail polish?”

Gojo peers over. “You gonna apply for me right?” And smiles when you have a nod of confirmation as he hurriedly out-stretched his hand towards you.

“Really? I thought you’d be against it,saying something like this ain’t what men do?” Gojo have no shit to that thought, as long as the girl he had a big fat crush on, holds his hand, a win is a win.

You look over you collection. “What color do you want?.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Maybe blue…a blue which would look similar to your eyes.”

“Beautiful…” Gojo slightly melts as you peer over your collection, your hair slightly covering your face as the evening light from the sun gives your face a heavenly look. “I meant of course! My eyes are a beautiful blue!” He stammers through his sentences as he fights back the heat on his face.

You looked at him with a scowl, what an egotistical brat! Was written all over your fave but then you didn’t say a word as you picked up a color and held his hand, bringing it closer to yours as you start applying the nail polish.

Gojo felt as if the part of his hands which were held were extremely warm, he hoped he doesn’t start sweating. But as he continues to look at you and your eyes which was focused on his fingers, he felt very light, as if this was how it was always meant to be with him being with you and you who looked simply so beautiful as the room was engulfed in a comfortable silence.

“Done!” You smiled as you looked at the nail polish on Gojo’s fingers before your lips curled upwards turned into a pout. “You’re so unfair, Satoru…”

Gojo tilted his head in confusion. “What did I do?”

“Even your hand is so pretty.” You huff as you brought your hands next to his. Gojo’s hands were big yet it was so slim with proper trimmed nails , you had no doubt if he were to become a nail model he’d be booked and busy.

Gojo felt heat rush into his face as he tried to keep his heart from beating too fast as his brain starts to make unconfirmed scenario but in which all of them contained you. “What do you mean ‘even’?”

You looked into his eyes for a brief second as you slowly look away, your cheeks had a beautiful flush to it. “I mean… you’re born into the Gojo clan so you’re already freaking rich… you have such cool cursed techniques, you’re already a special grade sorcerer.”

Gojo bites the inside of his cheeks In disappointment from your answer. As he opened his mouth, about to make a snarky remark you beat him to it.

“You’re tall, your hair always looks good no matter how you style it, your eyes are so beautiful which looked like the limitless skies , you’re also good looking…” you finally look into his eyes, Gojo thought that it was his day to die for a second at how adorable you looked with a shy look into your face. “So it’s unfair that you even got pretty hands.. you literally got everything.”

“…you.” Gojo muttered in a low, quiet voice which you couldn’t understand properly so you titled you head as you have him a confused look, blush still dusted on your cheeks from your confession.

“I don’t have you…” He repeated. “If you were mine then only can I say I have everything.” Gojo had always made many scenarios which was about him confessing to you as he attended class, in his showers, before he slept but this, this wasn’t part of his scenario. This wasn’t how he thought he’d be confessing to you but then the moment now seemed just right.

“I see… I guess that really means you’ve got everything.” You break into a smile as you then put out your hand towards him. “Do you mind coloring this hand of mine?”

Gojo smiles as his heart soars, he tries to control his lips from curling into a smile but then despite being the strongest sorcerer of his generation he is unable to; he was simply that happy, so happy that you reciprocated his feelings. “What color?”

“Blue like yours…So we can show everyone that I belong to you,Satoru.”

Guys I’m kinda proud of this cus even I was giggling, twirling my hair and swinging my legs writing this

[paigestrap]

the surprise

anon requested

paige x fem!reader

warnings: smut (minors dni), lingerie, swearing

~3k words

summary:

you plan a surprise for paige but it gets ruined when she flakes to hang out with her teammates. realizing her mistake, she makes it up to you.

enjoy yall i made this instead of writing my 15 page essay 😵😵😵

you were so excited...

you had planned a surprise date with p for the entire day, it was your way of thanking her for the many amazing dates she would take u on and you couldn’t wait to spend the entire day with her. it was one of her days off and she had told you yesterday that she was super excited to spend the entire day with you. unfortunately, your plans and day were ruined when she had texted you this afternoon.

p: hey baby ik i said id hang out with u today but ice and kk have been begging me all day to do something with them do u mind if i go see a movie with them and then get food? i promise i'm all yours tonight ;)

fuck. your stomach dropped and suddenly all your excitement for your plans faded away. you didn’t know what to say to her, you really wanted to spend this time with her and you had made a big effort planning this surprise for her but you didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t spend time with her friends.

but you were also kind of… mad? it hurt you that even though she spends all her time with her teammates and sees them at practice almost everyday she would rather spend her free time with them than with you. it may have been a toxic mindset but it still bothered you. you decided to go with a passive aggressive response.

you: sure, see u later.

you sighed as you collected yourself, putting away the groceries you bought to make her dinner. and filling up a vase with water for the roses whose pedals you had planned to sprinkle in the bath after dinner. you hang your newly purchased lingerie set in the closet, feeling silly for going out of your way to do all this just to be let down. you changed into pajamas and threw a frozen meal in the microwave, preparing yourself for a day full of sulking and watching reality tv.

you saw that paige had responded to your message, but you turned your phone off, not wanting to respond to her. you sat in front of the tv and put on some shitty show while you pulled out your laptop to do some homework (aka what the writer of this fic should be doing right now instead of writing this 😭). at some point you drift off to sleep.

knock.

u woke with a start, not even realizing you had fallen asleep or how much time had gone by, getting up to answer your door.

it was your girlfriend with a look of worry and annoyance, soaking wet and panting at your doorstep.

“why haven’t you been responding? i called u three times and texted you a bunch???” she questioned you, the worry had mostly faded into annoyance as she realized you were perfectly fine.

“oh, sorry i haven’t been on my phone, i guess i fell asleep” you answered to your very unsatisfied looking girlfriend.

“you can’t just send me some passive aggressive text and then ignore me for two hours. that’s unfair babe, you’d be so upset if i did that to u” she said, exasperated. she was clearly upset with you, but you didn’t care to be honest because you were also upset. you decided then you should tell her how you feel.

“it’s not fair that on your day off you decide to spend time with the teammates you see everyday instead of your girlfriend who you can barely make time to see as is. i understand they’re your best friends and spending time with them is important to you but i was so excited to spend the day with you i even planned a surprise for you and i was just feeling really neglected,” you watch as her expression softens. she walks in, and gives you a hug and kisses your head. you hate to admit it but her display of affection and attention made you feel a lot better.

“you’re absolutely right, baby. i was a dick for that. i had a feeling you were hurt by the way you responded. i just got really worried when you were ignoring me and shit i literally left in the middle of the movie and ran here in the rain” she admits to you, still holding you and running her hand up and down your back. “i didn’t know you had something planned for us. i’m so sorry you must’ve been so disappointed and upset i know that’s how i would’ve felt so i’m so sorry i made you feel that way”

you move to look up into her eyes, sincerity plastered on her face, and your annoyance and anger towards her began to fade away. “it’s okay, you didn’t know that i had planned something for us and i was just being petty. i should’ve told u that i was bothered so it’s my fault for not being honest with you. i was just hurt,” knowing that all it took for you to feel better was admitting how you felt and her apologizing made you feel silly for ignoring her earlier in the day. this could’ve all been avoided if you had just told her how you felt.

“its okay baby i understand. if i'm not too late, id like to make it up to you. what was it that you had planned?” she smiled at you, still holding you in her arms.

“well, i was going to cook you dinner, and then i bought all these roses so we could take a romantic bath together and then, well, i had another surprise for later” you start to blush, remembering the set hanging in your closet that you bought with her in mind. you hide your shy smile by burying your face into her chest.

“oh yeah? what’s that, do i still get that surprise too?” she grinned mischievously, clearly understanding the nature of your last surprise,

“i haven’t decided yet, let’s first see if you can make it up to me,” you joke with her, knowing in the back of your head that the night would end with the set on your body and paige inside you.

“fair enough,” she laughed, also seeming to know the future. “can i help you cook at least? what’s on the menu?” finally breaking the embrace she makes her way to the fridge to look at what you had bought to make dinner.

“i was just gonna make spaghetti and meatballs, you can start the noodles if you want and i can start with the other stuff.” you walk towards her, planting a kiss on her lips, “thank you for coming, P. i love you.”

she smiles and kisses you again, cupping your cheeks in her hands and looking at you endearingly “of course, my sweet girl, i’m excited to spend tonight with you. especially for whatever you have planned at the end of it” she winks and playfully slaps your ass, heading for the cabinet where the pots are to start the water. you bite your lips and blush, knowing what’s in store.

dinner preparation goes smoothly for the most part. other than the two times you stopped for a make out sesh, and paige’s incessant comments about how hot you looked while cooking her dinner. she really knew exactly how to rile you up and it was so infuriating and sexy at the same time.

you are so worked up by paige’s advances and endless flirting that you can barely think at all once you set the table and finally sit down to eat. she knows the effect she’s having on you and that only fuels her more. “you’re so fucking cute when you’re worked up, just wanna make u like this all the time”

“you are beyond annoying paige, seriously, do u enjoy making me suffer?”

“yes,” she deadpans, staring at you with a look that practically undresses you on its own. you cross your legs, feeling the heat in between your legs increasing. if paige notices she doesn’t say anything, and you enjoy the rest of your meal together without anymore teasing.

when dinner is over she insists on cleaning up the mess and even though you try to object she shoos you away. you head into your room with the roses to draw the bath. your stomach stirs knowing you and her will be in it together soon. you add the bath salts, leaving it smelling amazing in the bathroom, and slowly and carefully drop the pedals into the water, desire seeming to rise with each pedal you drop. you finally light a few candles you had brought in the bathroom and turn off the lights.

as if on cue, paige enters the bathroom. looking around the room and then at you. “this is adorable baby. i love it. thank you so much for doing this for me.” she walks over to u and plants a kiss on your lips, her hands meeting either side of your waist as she looks in your eyes. your heart melts.

you break away from her and begin to undress, and her eyes never move from you as you take each piece of clothing off. her piercing stare making the color of your cheeks pink. once fully undressed you make your way into the bath, the hot water shocking your skin and not helping your growing desire for the blonde girl whose gaze was still fixed on you. you look at her, wanting her to join you so you can finally touch her. she understands and undresses as well smirking at you as you stare shyly at her beautiful body.

“like what you see?” she teases you as she pulls her final layers off, her naked body on full display in front of you.

“i’d like it a lot better if you were in here with me, hurry up” you say impatiently, wanting to touch her so badly. she finally joins you, scooting to the back and leaning on the bath walls, opening her legs so you can lay in between them. you allow her body to engulf yours as you lay the back of your head on her chest, savoring every inch of her skin that’s in contact with yours.

“you’re so pretty baby, can’t believe you’re all mine” she moves your hair away from your neck and places soft kisses along it, trailing down to your shoulder. soft whimpers leave your mouth as your body reacts to her touch, each kiss intensifying the desire that's been brewing all night. "have i made it up to you yet baby?" she whispers in your ear.

your brain goes fuzzy, barely able to think with her sinful lips and voice in your ear, "i'm not sure, i think there might be something else you could do to make it up to me" you try to tease her, but your voice betrays you as it comes out breathless and in between moans.

she laughs, and then whispers again in a low and seductive voice "oh yeah? whats that baby? tell me" she ghosts her finger around your nipple with one hand, and traces circles around the sensitive parts of your stomach, all while continuing to kiss your neck. you are fully gone at this point, shamelessly whining while she works you into total submission.

"cant. not right now. the last surprise. still need to show you." you are so worked up and words are not coming easy at all. you desperately want to get out of the bath and into your set so she can fuck you senseless in bed.

“okay baby, we can get out now. wanna go get that surprise ready?” she puts her hands on your shoulder and stops kissing your neck, you let out a whine at the absence of her touch, but find yourself slowly coming back to reality.

“yes, you wait in here and drain the water and i’ll let you know when you can come in” you say, making your way out of the bath and wrapping a towel around your figure. she nods and pulls the drain while getting out of the bath.

once in your room with the bathroom door shut, you make your way over to your closet and pull out the set you bought. it’s a light purple babydoll slip dress and a matching thong, there’s a bow in the bra part that can be untied to uncover your tits. you bite your lip as you feel your pussy get wet just thinking about her reaction. slowly, you put it on, making sure everything is in order and the bow is pretty for her, even though you know it won’t be tied for long.

“okay. you can come out now, i’m ready” you stand awkwardly, impatiently awaiting her presence and reaction to you. she opens the door and her mouth drops as soon as her eyes meet you. she stands there for a while, unable to say or do anything in awe of you.

“you’re amazing” she says, eyes running you up and down as she takes you in. she is star struck.

“come here and touch me please. make up for today” you whine, feeling so small under her gaze and so needy for her touch. she walks over to you, fingers touching all over you as she gazes at you perplexed.

“so fucking beautiful, all for me” she whispers, one hand cupping your cheek and another snaking its way down your back to grab your ass. her hand moves to the bow covering your chest, and slowly, she pulls the cloth until it unravels and your tits are on full display for her. she shamelessly stares at them, fondling one in her hand and running her thumb around your nipple, eliciting the most obscene noises from you as she does so. "your tits are a masterpiece, cant believe theyre all mine," she admits. both of her hands grip your thighs as she hoists you into her arms and lays you down on the bed, fully on top of you. "want me to fuck you in this baby? is that what you want?" she asks you, hands running up and down your thighs.

"yes. paige. oh my god please." you beg, laying all your desires out in front of her as you let her take full control. she kisses you passionately, hands traveling the expanse of your body and touching you in all of your most sensitive spots.

"so worked up for me huh? tell me how i can make it up to you baby, i'll do whatever you say", she says in a low voice in between kisses, hands traveling dangerously close to the place you need them most as she plays with the band of your panties.

"please fuck me paige, i need you in me right now" you beg, barely holding it together. her hands grab your underwear and she pulls them off of you, leaving your wet and throbbing pussy on full display. her fingers slide in between your folds, rubbing your clit and feeling your wetness.

"youre soaking baby, all because of me yeah? im gonna fuck you so good my sweet girl, make you forget all about what happened" you can barely hear her lude remarks as she rubs your clit. you fear you wont last long with how good her fingers are making you feel.

she slips two fingers in you, your wetness allowing them entrance with ease, she curls her fingers in you as your walls clench around them, touching your sensitive spot as she does so. your hips rut in reaction and moan her name loudly as she rakes in and out of you, "thats my good girl, so fucking loud for me," her pace quickens as she feels you tightening up against her. she knows youre close and is making no effort to prolong your orgasm, wanting to make you feel as good as possible. she moves her thumb to rub up and down against your clit, increasing the sensation as your body reacts to both points of contact.

you were so close, your body in her full control and needing release. "paige. please, faster. im gonna come" you plead. she moves right next to you and sucks on your neck while speeding up her pace inside of you,

"anything for you baby, you can come for me, i love you so much." she whispers, pace quickening as her fingers travel deeper inside of you .

her voice in your ear telling you to come is all you need to send you over the edge. you moan her name as you orgasm and she continues whispering, "so so good, all mine, love how you feel when you come. you look so beautiful right now baby" she slows her pace as you ride out your orgasm, kissing your neck as she continues talking you through it.

as you feel the waves of pleasure subside and you start to come back to your senses, you kiss her for a long time, whimpering in her mouth at the same time. she slowly pulls her fingers out of you, pushing them in your mouth as you lick up your mess. she lays down next to you, holding you in her arms.

"yeah. you definitely made it up to me" you say looking at her and pecking her lips.

"oh, there's more where that came from. i'm all yours tonight baby." she smiles, hand cupping your cheek as she kisses you lovingly.

it was going to be a long night.

[lu-is-not-ok]

two in one theory... i am listening very intently if you ever feel up to share it!!

Alright, so this is gonna be... as close to an Abridged explanation of the theory as I can make, because if I went off on everything about it I would end up writing a whole dissertation or five hour video essay script on this shit.

There are gonna be three main sections to this post - Hong Lu's Daiyuisms, Hong Lu's Themes of Identity and how that connects to the concept of Two in One, and the Daiyu-Baoyu theory itself.

Strap in folks.

Hong Lu's Daiyuisms

If you know anything about my theories in the earlier days of Limbus, you might know that I'm one of the very few people who was convinced Hong Lu is actually Daiyu, due to some evidence I found personally compelling. This has not changed, as we've only gotten just as much extra evidence to this as we have to him being Baoyu. So let me just speedrun through some of these points.

The Fucking Jade Eye

Ok hear me out. This is maybe the least important piece of evidence but I can never stop thinking about it. Hong Lu's jade eye? Not actually fully blue! If you look closely on most of his sprites, you can see that he actually has sectoral heterochromia, meaning his jade eye is both blue and black.

Daiyu's name, quite literally, translates to blue-black jade.

Now, you could claim that this is merely meant to be an easter egg reference to her, but... is that really Project Moon's style? After all, when people speculated on Don Quixote being Sancho or a Bloodfiend partially based on her appearance all the way back since near launch, they turned out to be right.

Hong Lu's Father

As of now, there is only one instance of Hong Lu referencing his Father in Limbus, and it's a voiceline from his Base Identity:

Now, if you know anything about DOTRC, this should already be raising some flags, because if Hong Lu was just Baoyu, he would not fucking talk like that about his Father.

In the book, Baoyu is consistently shown to be afraid of his Father, for a good reason mind you, as he's his main abuser. Baoyu would not be looking forward to introducing his friends to that man.

Even if Hong Lu was trying to downplay the abuse he's recieved, this would still not fit his pattern of behavior. When topics that genuinely bother Hong Lu come up, such as what could make him distort or how rich people would enjoy gifts made of humans, he immediately pivots and tries to avoid the topic at all cost. He would not bring up his main abuser in such a lighthearted manner, he would avoid bringing him up at all cost.

However, there is a character in DOTRC which does in fact have a more positive relationship to her Father, and would likely be the one with an opinion such as that - Daiyu. Daiyu loves her Father, and when he dies she completely disappears from the story for a bit to attend his funeral. If there was anyone who would be excited to introduce their friends to their Father, it'd be Daiyu.

Lasso Hong Lu's Corrosion

I made a whole seperate post about this, but I might as well mention it here as well for the sake of completion. The design choices made for Hong Lu which are missing for Faust are very, very Daiyu-coded.

For one, not only does Hong Lu completely turn into a flower, unlike Faust, his horse also gains a flower in its mouth. For those whose knowledge of DOTRC is zero to none, Daiyu is a reincarnation of a Flower given sentience due to being watered by the Jade. I don't think I have to be the one to connect the dots between those two pieces of info for you.

The second is how the halters become a noose for Hong Lu. This, too, is a very Daiyu thing - Rose Hunter as an Abnormality represents the inability to escape one's fate, and Daiyu's fate is to die - the Jia Family arranging a marriage between Baoyu and Baochai leads to Daiyu falling deathly ill, which in itself could be considered a part of her repaying her Debt of Tears - the debt she swore to repay to the Jade/Baoyu when she was still a Flower.

The hilarity of the fact that this E.G.O came out in the same update as Hong Lu being called Baoyu in-story is not lost on me.

Rose Sign Abnormality Log

The third Log for Rose Sign ends in a very peculiar way.

There's multiple ways one can tie Hong Lu's odd reluctance to talk about flowers and the petals. One is the obvious "he's being reminded of Daiyu because she was a Flower" connection, but there's another one.

One of the most commonly potrayed images of Daiyu relates to a scene in DOTRC where she buries fallen flower petals, weeping for and lamenting the mortality of the flowers and herself. Hong Lu's reaction here to his fellow Sinners being reduced to nothing but petals upon Rose Sign's death feels like a notable parallel to Daiyu's flower burial scene.

Like literally everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu

The title for this is a bit of an exaggeration, but at the same time. I'm serious. Kurokumo Hong Lu is perhaps the most Daiyu Identity out of all the Hong Lu Identities we have, and the way he is designed to stand out among them further makes me go insane.

Kurokumo Hong Lu's most defining trait is his attitude - he often complains about his position and how authority treats him, though he doesn't really act out against them in any major way outside of making snarky or sarcastic remarks.

This is, frankly, an extremely Daiyu thing to do. Daiyu is one of the few characters who audibly complains about her treatment in the household. For example she complains about not being given as many opportunities to show off her poetry skills as her male peers are, and she recognises how, when all the girls in the family are given flowers, she's the last one to recieve them and thus is stripped of the ability to pick, being only given the leftovers.

Then there's the whole. Everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu's visual design. Because once you realize just how Daiyu-like the Identity is, you realize just how weird he is compared to other Hong Lu Identities. I mean just look how he compares to his other Identities.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity with a blue tint to his hair in the combat sprite rather than the usual purple.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity whose hairtie is a ribbon rather than a jade ring (Liu Hong Lu technically has the ribbon in his post-uptie art, but he doesn't have it in his combat sprite so I'm not counting him).

He's the only Hong Lu Identity to not be smiling in his combat sprites.

And he's the only Hong Lu Identity (and one of only four Identities in the game) whose Idle sprite has its body facing away from the opponent rather than facing towards them.

All of those combine to make him stand out like a sore thumb in a Hong Lu Identity lineup in a way that makes it feel intentional, especially since he's also the only Hong Lu Identity with that kind of notable attitude towards authority. Other Hong Lu Identities are either obedient, don't express any opinion, or just straight up are the authority.

The Baoyu reveal is framed in a very weird way

This is, admittedly, less of a Daiyuism and more of a not-Baoyuism, but I thought it'd be important to mention nonetheless.

There are a lot of things about Canto 7's reveal of Hong Lu's name being Baoyu that are very strange, especially compared to how the Canto frames Don Quixote's own reveal of actually being Sancho.

For one, the timing itself - why is such an important piece of info being revealed so early? Again, compare to Donqui - she was revealed to be a Bloodfiend in the Intervallo right before Canto 7, and the Sancho reveal only came in the second half of the Canto.

For two, the framing - Donqui's reveals are treated as what they are, Major Reveals. The Baoyu reveal on the other hand happens in a single off-handed line, with nobody reacting to it in any way. Neither Hong Lu nor the other Sinners seem to hear it after all.

And mind you, it's not like Limbus is opposed to giving us important information in off-handed lines - far from it in fact. Project Moon loves shoving little bits of foreshadowing and reveals you don't realize are reveals until way later in these kinds of off-handed lines. But the way those lines are treated is still very different to how the Baoyu reveal is treated.

Usually, when there's foreshadowing in off-handed lines, it's usually either vague enough to be something a character could say regardless of context (see Yi Sang getting hung up on the Sedatives bit in Canto 2 or Ishmael's comment about Syndicates pretending to be Families foreshadowing her own history with the Middle via Queequeg) or something that is in the middle of a scene that distracts from what is actually being said (like Hong Lu's distortion foreshadowing being in the middle of an important infodump or most of everything in Canto 2 being surrounded by a comedic tone).

None of this is present for the Baoyu reveal. There's nothing to distract you from this information, as the scene is already focused on discussing Hong Lu, meaning you're already likely to be paying attention to what is being said about him. There's also no vagueness about it, there's no way you can brush it off since not only are Wei and Xichun newly introduced characters, but it's a whole ass clearcut namedrop.

The only way I can justify that reveal being there in the form it takes is that it in itself is the distraction. Think about it. Didn't I point it out earlier that this reveal came in the same update as the E.G.O with an extremely Daiyu-coded corrosion design? Wouldn't it make sense for that reveal to be there to lower your guard, make you think you resolved that mystery, only to later on reveal it wasn't the whole story after all?

Hong Lu's Themes of Identity

So this section is a bit more vague than the Daiyuism section, because Hong Lu is the type of guy to just Say Shit all the time. It's basically just. Anything that I find relevant to the idea of Hong Lu's Identity being more complex than him just being a random guy using a pseudonym, with some (but maybe not all) of them directly tying to the idea of Two in One.

"Which one is the real you?"

There are currently two seperate scenes where Hong Lu muses on the idea of someone's identity being in some way vague or obscured.

Is Dante the person or the clock? Is the dreamer the one in the dream or the one who wakes from it? Which you is the real you? Does it even matter if that you will flutter away in the end?

This idea of there being one true self. That even if there are two, there is only one of them that is actually you. Curious, right?

Face-changing dance

During the Canto 2 scene where everyone gives their reasons for whether or not they'd be a good pick for being the one to dance, Hong Lu says this.

Bian lian is a kind of dance literally translated as "face-changing". It involves rapid changes between various masks and make-up to represent different emotions or characters.

Now, it's no secret that Hong Lu is a great actor, as we see in Canto 4, and Canto 7 shows how the comparison to theatre and actors can be used to symbolize one's performance of identity, as it does for Sancho and her Don Quixote persona.

Mind you, this reveal comes in the same scene as Sinclair's dance invoking the image of a bonfire burning all through the night according to the Mariachis, a clear foreshadowing to Canto 3 and the Literal burning down of Sinclair's home.

Hong Lu knowing bian lian could be further foreshadowing to his own skills in deception, and how he too is a sort of actor, not unlike Don Quixote. On the other hand however, it could also be a more literal foreshadowing, that he (Baoyu) Quite Literally changed his face. We won't know until Canto 8, but it is an option you know.

The HamHamPangPang dish(es)

For those who don't know, here is a list of the Sinner-themed dishes that were available at HamHamPangPang.

Now, chances are, not all of them have deep meanings. I don't think there's much of a deep meaning to Heathcliff and Ishmael's dishes, I think PJM just legit don't know much about British/American cuisine so they just picked something recogniseable.

However, not all of them are meaningless picks either. Ryoshu, likely a mother, has a meal literally called "parent-and-child donburi". Don Quixote, a Bloodfiend, has a garlic-based dish. These were clearly done on purpose.

So, what does it say that Hong Lu's dish is actually two different dishes? That he's the only one whose dish is two different dishes? And it's not like the two are in some way inherently connected, since they're of completely different cuisines. Japchae is a Korean dish, not Chinese like the Mandarin rolls.

And just in case you weren't convinced that Hong Lu's choice of dishes is purposeful - another name for Mandarin rolls is flower buns, and one of the special occasions japchae is commonly served for is weddings. If you had read through the Daiyuisms section and somehow have no idea what the significance of that is, I don't know what to tell you.

The Daiyu-Baoyu Theory (finally)

So. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could still be Daiyu despite being revealed as Baoyu. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could be a Two in One deal, or that at the very least there's something more complex going on with his identity. But let's discuss the theory itself, how it would recontextualize certain things, and why I think it's an extremely fitting an thematically resonant direction for Hong Lu's Canto to go in.

The Theory

Here's what I speculate is going on.

Daiyu, just like in DOTRC, is someone who was taken in into the Jia Household rather than born in it, and who strongly connected with Baoyu upon meeting him. The two would end up forming a bond strong enough that they would be willing to die for one another (or, if they're in particularly argumentative moods, to kill themselves just to force the other to have to live a long life grieving over them - this is an actual argument they have in DOTRC and I pray to god this is adapted into Limbus because it's too fucking funny).

At some point, Baoyu either dies or is brought to near death, likely through the same circumstances as in DOTRC - being beaten by his Father. To save him, his memories and consciousness would be transferred to his eye, a process not dissimilar to the one Xichun brings up in Canto 7, and implanted into Daiyu's body, causing them to become a vessel for Baoyu. This would be how Hong Lu as he is now is created.

All of the above is the main basis for this theory. Everything else that I might speculate about, such as the exact nature of the two's relationship, Daiyu's more exact background and personality, how their pre-reincarnation lives could be adapted - all of those are things that are purely speculative and ones that I don't really expect to be actually fulfilled. The only bits that I am sure are likely to be true is what I laid out above.

So... what does it all mean for the future? I'm glad you asked!

The Recontextualization

Here's a collection of just a couple of things that Hong Lu has said or is depicted as that would be heavily recontextualized if this theory ends up being true.

Hong Lu surviving despite claiming he didn't fight back when his siblings first tried to kill him: With the context that he used to be two seperate people, the answer to how he survived is made very simple. Baoyu is the one who wasn't fighting back. Daiyu, however, could have still protected him in turn.

The red ribbon on Hong Lu's weapon: There is only one other Sinner who has a similar decoration on their weapon - Ryoshu, who also has a red ribbon on her sword, which could be easily connected to Yuzuki and her death. With the context of Hong Lu being Baoyu occupying Daiyu's body and thus effectively rendering their self non-existent, the red ribbon could be a parallel symbol - a symbol of Daiyu and their 'death'.

How Hong Lu treats his weapon in his base E.G.O: The way Hong Lu holds his weapon in the illustration is more like he's cradling another person. This could be a representation of how he feels about Daiyu's situation. Likewise, in the attack animation, he's not really attacking with the weapon itself, is he? He's simply using it to direct a ribbon (which in itself is missing in the illustration), the part that is actually the attack. If the weapon in the base E.G.O represents Daiyu, this could be a parallel to how Baoyu feels like he's merely directing Daiyu's body to attack, rather than being the one actually attacking.

The duality of Hong Lu IDs: There is a notable pattern among Hong Lu IDs, and that is the focus on his attitude to violence. When he's in a situation where he's obedient towards his Family, he's either uninterested in violence, bored of it, or otherwise given no other choice but to use it as a reprieve from boredom. However, when he's in a situation where he's disconnected from his Family or otherwise questioning the status quo, he's shown to not only be much more aggressive and violent, but to outright enjoy it. With the context of Hong Lu being composed of two people, this duality could represent each of his components - the obedient and violence-averse being more Baoyu-like, while the questioning and violence-favoring being more Daiyu-like.

So, there's a bunch of stuff that would be given new meaning under the premise of this theory being true. But now, what about the future? What would this theory mean for the themes and ending of Canto 8?

The Resolution

I believe this is how the Daiyu-Baoyu theory will affect Canto 8.

At some point, whether before or during the Canto, it will be revealed that Hong Lu is both Daiyu and Baoyu. There will be an attempt to seperate the two, perhaps to implant Baoyu into a more fitting, more Jia Family-approved Vessel. Perhaps because the 'arranged marriage' from DOTRC could be adapted into something more... let's say Fear and Hunger kind of marriage rather than traditional marriage.

This will leave Hong Lu to be returned to their state as Daiyu, who will be revealed to be a very different person to what the Sinners knew Hong Lu as. There is a non-zero chance that Daiyu will be unable to hear Dante or be revived by them due to the one who signed the contract being Baoyu, and so they could end up acting as an uncontrollable ally unit not unlike Xichun in Canto 7.

The climax would then be Daiyu and Baoyu reuniting and being unwilling to part with each other again, even for the sake of returning to being the fake persona that is Hong Lu, leading to a potential duo boss fight/distortion boss fight/duo distortion boss fight.

The ending would be the two of them deciding to embrace their new identity as Hong Lu and truly becoming one, discarding their pasts and the selves that had been forced on them by the Jia Family. This ending would have a twofold meaning regarding how it connects to the DOTRC adaptation.

One - it would be a direct parallel to the ending of DOTRC where Baoyu leaves to become a monk. By becoming Hong Lu and discaring his previous identities, he'd be leaving behind the earthly attachments inherent to being Baoyu and Daiyu and become spiritually whole.

Two - it would be a reflection of the major theme of DOTRC, that being "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real becomes not-real when the unreal's real." Hong Lu, as a person, is a 'fake' persona used by the 'real' Baoyu and Daiyu. However, by discarding those two identities and deciding to just be Hong Lu, the fiction of his existence becomes the truth, while his former real selves become not real.

Conclusion?

I could honestly just keep going with this post, but I think I'm going to stop myself here before I'm forced to find out what tumblr's character limit on posts is. Believe me, I was trying to be brief, and still this post is. This fucking long.

I hope this explains why this theory has been the subject of my brainrot for the past however long, and why I feel like it's surprisingly plausible despite being as deranged as it is.

Godspeed and godbless, I have classes tomorrow and I'm spending my time on this.

[drdemonprince]

At one point he was down in between my legs, fingering me, and he made a throwaway comment about probably being Autistic. 

I leaned back, trying to relish what pleasure I was getting. “Well, we can talk about that subject, if you like,” I said vaguely, not really wanting to bring my professional life into things. 

He kept working away at my body, kissing between my lips and thighs. “Oh I know who you are,” he said suddenly. “Your book changed my life. In a way, I guess this is me thanking you.” 

I made him exit my body and we went to the kitchen to hash it out. It turned out he was a big fan of many things I’d written. 

“I’ve seen you around the neighborhood many times,” he confessed. “But you posted online that you don’t like when people come up to you, and so I always decided to leave you alone.” 

He said, “Your book is the reason I got divorced, actually. My ex-husband was a therapist, and when I showed him your book and said I thought I might be Autistic, he didn’t believe me. We have been separated for a year.” 

He asked, “Did I just make this weird, telling you when I did that I was a fan?” I told him that if he’d said it sooner, I would have never fucked him at all. 

People never realize that when they approach me, what they are doing is dragging me into work. It doesn’t matter whether I was at breakfast, or an orgy. I was just some guy standing there, enjoying his beer, but now they have made me the known scholar and author. And sure, my job might be meaningful, but that doesn’t mean I like to work. 

I tell my friend that I no longer want to be a public figure, and that I am planning how to make it all end. She tells me, “You’ve got to do what is the best for you, even if it’s something that the rest of us wants and can’t imagine giving up.” 

I ask myself, did I want this? It would be more flattering to say I didn’t, and play the role of the hermetic author whose work developed its own life purely because it was so good. But that isn’t true. 

From the moment I got a Myspace account in high school, I was publishing essays about my political views. I serialized multiple novels on Tumblr, guerilla marketing them with giveaways and custom-made images until they hit the Kindle sales charts. I have made memes, tried starting viral trends, coined phrases, and given hundreds of hours’ worth of media interviews. I write prescriptive nonfiction, for Christ’s sake. Of course people seek guidance from me. I offer it up! 

I have been strategic about how I dress, and my video backdrops, and retaken clips of myself speaking over and over again until they sounded right. I’ve hosted debates with my most vicious critics while I’m in the shower, started public beef with creators who had larger accounts than I did, and rushed to my keyboard when upsetting news broke, because I alone was possessed of the most correct take on it.

I wanted this. I didn’t know what this was, this internet fame I was chasing, but I did all I could to make it mine. I thought that by writing so much, I would one day be able to escape myself, maybe really feel connected to other people. Instead it has meant never being able to stop thinking about myself: how I am seen, what I am working on, how it all fits together, what comes next. It has also meant being spoken about, theorized about, and criticized, and developing a firm exoskeleton of disdain between myself and the world. 

I believe now that that it is immoral for any person to be listened to by ninety thousand other people. Holding authority and status like that runs counter to my anarchic ideals. I am not more important or correct than anyone. I should not be trusted to tell people which commodities to buy, which companies not to support, what to read, what to think, what words to use, or how to conduct their lives. 

All the other animals know there is no one way that a creature “should” live. There is only the way that it does. The world has no consciousness, no beliefs. It cannot pass judgment. We only feel so watched and evaluated because we have covered the planet with so many millions of our eyes. But we can stop performing dignified human goodness at any moment. 

I think that celebrity is an evil, corrupting force that pits the human instinct for bonding against itself. Instead of appreciating the singing of our friends around the fire, we stream Chappell Roan until stalkers break into her house. Rather than playing card games together, we stan Twitch streamers, filling up their chats with highlighted messages until they acknowledge us. We long to be famous novelists because then we would have the social permission to write, and we don’t have the money or time to enjoy the activity on its own. 

I wrote about Chappell Roan, stalker stans, and how turning art into content creation ruins the work, and the creator's life. It's free to read in full (or have narrated to you by the app!) on Substack.

[idkanymoreokay]

I have so many thoughts on the friendship between Flynn and Cassandra, I could write a million essays on it. But something that has really jumped out to me during my current rewatch is the way these two just easily understand each other without even trying.

They talk without having to verbally communicate most of what they're saying. They don't even seem to be aware of the fact everyone else in the room is looking at them in confusion because they can't hear the unspoken parts of the conversation.

They bounce ideas off each other so easily, instantly pick up on each other's trains of thought, and practically finish the other's sentences or ideas.

These two neurodivergent geeks, who never had anyone in their life truly grasp what goes on inside their head, suddenly found someone who knows and it's like they instantly latched onto that connection.

Cassandra also has her very close friendship with the other LITs, and Flynn has his relationship with Eve, but it's their friendship with each other that lets them both explore and indulge the parts of themself that other people just don't understand.

Cassandra is definitely the one out of the LITs that is most like Flynn, both in her skills as a Librarian and also in her personality and how her lightning speed thoughts tend to get translated into her words and interactions with others. (Which is a whole other topic I'd love to dive into another day.) But, yeah, it makes so much sense why they have no trouble at all understanding each other.

(Edit: Nope, that was supposed to be the end of the post but I have too many thoughts that need to be shouted into the void. Their friendship is very important to me. So...)

Jumping back to the very beginning - During the first two episodes, Flynn is perpetually annoyed by Ezekiel and just kinda ignores Stone. But Cassandra… He's absolutely fascinated by her from the moment they first meet. He takes a minute out of their incredibly urgent life-and-death mission to discuss her being a synesthete and geek out a little over the fact she has an eidetic memory like him. And Cassandra's immediate reaction of "Yes, wow" is like she can't believe someone is capable of immediately understanding what's going on inside her head and is 100% okay with that and not at all bothered by her being "different".

And then they get to Stonehenge:

And I think this is the moment Flynn really starts to appreciate how brilliant Cassandra is, and how very much like him she is. Flynn is a fairly competitive person with a genius brain like no other, but he doesn't get upset or offended when she takes over the calculations, and even carries them out faster than he could have. If anything, he looks genuinely impressed. He instantly understands what information she needs and readily gives it to her so they can continue solving the puzzle. They immediately settle into this easy back and forth, this rapid exchange of information and clues as they work at putting together the pieces. He's able to talk to her in a way he can't talk to anyone else. It's probably been a long time (if ever) since he's interacted with someone who can keep up with him.

Even after Cassandra has betrayed Flynn -- causing him to lose his home, the only family he had left, his best friend, and potentially his life -- he instantly accepts her back on the team and even sticks up for her when the others object. At this point, she hasn't apologized, shown any indication of remorse, or had a chance to make amends. And it doesn't matter to him. "She had her reasons" - and that's enough for him. He lets her out of the cell and immediately wants to hear her plan for stopping the Brotherhood.

And I think this is the moment when Cassandra -- similar to Flynn's realization at Stonehenge -- suddenly realizes that someone else can grasp her thought process. That someone understands the way her brain works. That someone is capable of following her trains of thought and not getting lost in the ordered chaos of her mind.

Just look at her smile!! She is trying to get across what she wants to say, and she's so used to having to break things down for others and still not being understood, and here's someone who instantly picks up what she's trying to convey. Look how utterly happy and excited she is when he gets it.

I love how much they appreciate each other's genius. I love how they can communicate on a different level. I love how much they genuinely care about each other.

And I absolutely love that it's through Flynn that Cassandra manages to have her moment for redemption, because he's already clearly demonstrated that he's the one member of the group she doesn't have to prove herself to.

I just... 😭😭😭

I love that Flynn has zero people skills and a very weak grasp on the concept of friendship and yet he meets this brilliant, weird, amazing young person and pretty much instantly connects with her. Because, like her, he also spent most of his life invisible and now someone actually understands him and is already so important to him, even if it's a while yet before he'll really fully understand the concept of friendship.

I love that Cassandra has spent most of her life feeling unseen and never truly accepted by the people around her. And then she meets someone who immediately sees her and understands how her mind works and appreciates and trusts her, and who introduces her to this life of mystery and magic where she can use her talents to save the world… and she already knows that he's important to her even if she doesn't realize just how much her life is going to change because of him.

There's SO MUCH more I could say about their friendship, but I should probably channel some of it into an actual blog post at some point. For now, here's some cute moments I grabbed while getting the screenshots for this post:

[delfiore]

—ONE OF YOUR GIRLS.

pairing: lucy bronze x reader, (alexia putellas x reader)

synopsis: the only reason is simply because you are both heartbroken, lonely, and desperate.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: i gave myself a 1k word limit on this and i failed miserably. literally why is it so hard for me to write a 1k essay for school but not this

You started to learn Lucy’s routine only a few weeks after she started coming around. Like clockwork, it didn’t matter how late you went to bed, she would always be up before eight. Sometimes, it would be to go downstairs for a swim in the freezing cold outdoor pool in her apartment complex. “Helps me wake up and think clearer”, she would explain. Sometimes, it would just be to sit in the living room with a coffee in hand, watching videos of the team you and her would be playing later in the day. Other times—and it was always a treat when she did—it would be to stay in bed with you, and watch you wake up.

Those were the times in which you felt like what you had with Lucy resembled most like a relationship, due to the sheer amount of domesticity of it. The way she would take time out of the day to lay a few extra minutes with you made it feel concrete like what you were doing was worth the time. But that wasn’t the goal—a relationship.

“I forgot to bring my stuff last night,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the lack of gear you brought over to Lucy’s apartment. You had hastily stuffed the necessities into a crossbody bag when she texted.

“It’s alright. We can drive by later and pick it up on our way to training.”

“We’re gonna arrive together? What if people see?”

Everyone else at Barcelona didn’t know, of course, because you couldn’t even begin to explain what the fuck transpired between you two. It was no relationship, but it was no ordinary friendship either. A special kind of friendship, maybe, but not entirely the kind people would think of if you described it as such . . .

Lucy’s lips pursed, and she contemplated for a moment. After a few seconds, she turned towards the window, the morning sun washed white behind the milky blinds.

“I don’t really care, to be honest,” her chest rose quickly with an exhale. “Why have we got to explain ourselves to people anyway? Kinda tired of it.”

You knew she meant having to deal with the looks her ex would give her. She had been chasing after Keira, trying to make amends for a long time. You knew that, she told you everything.

It made you think about your own situation. You were still very much in love with your own ex, but Alexia has since moved on with a mutual friend, and your conversations were reduced to strictly work nowadays. The way she started treating you after the breakup wasn’t dissimilar to how an older teenager treats her younger, annoying little sibling; with avoidance and an overly sense of self-importance. It made you despise her ten times more than you already did, but you also yearned for her attention, because it was what you have aligned your life with for a while.

But you supposed you had a type—older women with avoidance issues—which was why you were here with Lucy.

“Keira asked me about you the other day,” you said on the car ride to the training ground. You sat in Lucy’s passenger seat. “She was wondering how you were doing. Said you never talk to her anymore.”

Lucy scoffed and turned back to you. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?”

“Like how you actually look so fit in my shirt.”

You let the snort escape your nose but leaned towards her in the passenger seat. “It’s literally a plain black T-shirt, Luce.”

“‘Xactly,” Her cheeks creased with a grin. “Makes me almost want to fancy you.”

“Almost.”

“Almost,” Lucy said.

Almost.

You and Lucy have always had a friendship filled with banter. Heart-to-hearts rarely happened—maybe before and after important matches, or international ones in which one of you had to be the loser—but you appreciated her easygoing nature and how it has shaped your relationship.

If you were a bit closer in age, if you weren’t already with Alexia, and she with Keira at the same time, you reckoned you would have gone for her. You’d always found her attractive.

“You’re too young for me, Y/N,” Lucy had told you once.

“I’m just saying,” you had put your hands up. “If you’re ever desperate enough, I could be like one of your girls.”

Lucy only laughed. Perhaps desperate was the wrong word to use. Lucy Bronze could never get that desperate so as to seek you out for company. No, everything would have to be on her terms.

You agreed with her, though. A nine-year age gap might have been a bit too much, but Lucy wasn’t just like any other 32-year-old.

But you were in love with Alexia. You still were, and your coupling with Lucy might have just been a ploy to piss her off, but your captain didn’t need to know that. Just seeing the not-so-subtle looks she sends your way whenever you are too touchy with Lucy was enough to satiate your grudge.

It seemed the joke wasn’t merely a joke, not to Lucy, because one night, she called you. You had never seen Lucy cry, at least not in person, and she was the type of person to let people see her cry only for her profession, never something in her personal life.

Every joke on your tongue died the moment you saw her blotchy, red face at your front door.

“I didn’t know who else to call.”

Really?

She could have called anyone on the team and they would happily offer her comfort. That was the charisma that Lucy wielded, and you were willing to bet there were other members of the team who were much better than you at comforting someone.

“I think I’m just unlovable.”

You led her inside and offered her a glass of water. I think I’m just unlovable. Her words echoed in your mind as you scrambled to find any words that would be comforting to her at that moment. How do you convince someone that they weren’t their flaws when you yourself struggled with the same insecurities? If Lucy even had those doubts about herself, how could you ever get out of it?

“I think I’m unlovable too.”

You didn’t know whether that was comforting or just rubbing salt in her wound, but Lucy exhaled shakily, for the first time looking at you in a way unlike that of teammates, or even friends.

Unlike a friend would, you lifted your hand and wiped away the tear on her cheek with the pad of your thumb, and unlike a friend would, you leaned in and kissed her slowly.

Kissing Lucy was exhilarating. She was eager and rough, and soft and gentle. It made you almost want to fall in love with her. She was tired, so you climbed on her lap and led the way, and all her burdens faded into oblivion, at least for the night.

When you both arrived at training, only a few of your teammates were there in the locker room, and most of them didn’t seem to notice you coming in together anyway. Pina, though, found you across the room.

“Did you hear?” She said quietly.

“What?”

“Alexia has been with the physios since like 9 this morning.”

“Why? What happened?” You tried not to sound too eager, or worried.

“I don’t know, but I walked past and I think she was crying.”

When you came into the rehab center, a physio greeted you with a smile. You returned it as your eyes quickly found the only person lying down on a bed, hiding her face in the crook of her arm.

“Hey, capitana,” you said in Spanish. “You sleep here last night or something?”

You saw the way her jaw ticked, and looking down, noticed the bandages wrapped around her knee, the ACL one.

“You didn’t happen to bring any coffee in, did you?” She said groggily. “I could use a sip.”

“No coffee, sorry. I’m trying to wean myself off of it.”

“You said that a thousand times before.”

You put your hands in your pockets and leaned against the bed. “What’s wrong?”

She let out a sigh and removed her arm. “They’re making me sit out Saturday’s game. They’re scared I might mess something up.”

You nodded, because you understood exactly why. Another ACL problem would be detrimental to her career in ways that you didn’t want to think about. “It’s better to be sure,” you shrugged.

“I’ve fucked my knee, Y/N,” Alexia said, inhaling shakily. “That’s what it is.”

You couldn’t imagine having to live with the anxiety, tiptoeing around your own knees, afraid it might give out any second again. Even the smallest discomfort could spell trouble, and the slightest movement could trigger the injury to worsen.

You opted not tell Lucy about your conversation with Alexia, because you wanted to keep it to yourself. As useless as that might be, that was the first genuine conversation you’ve had with your ex in about a year. You’ve learned not to take it to heart, though, because you knew you’d disappoint yourself when Alexia eventually goes back to treating you like a kid.

You made a conscious effort not to think about her when you called Lucy over for a hookup, but when she was knuckles-deep inside you, you couldn’t think of anything else but the pleasure.

Laying back and staring at the ceiling, you drew deep breaths as you came down from your high.

“You okay?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Hold me?”

She smiled and gathered you in her arms before kissing you sweetly. “Did something happen with Alexia?”

“No.” Nothing happened, really, but maybe it was because nothing happened that made you so distraught. “Maybe in another universe, where you’re not you and I’m not me, I would take you on a date tomorrow, maybe we’d be happier.”

“Well, why won’t you do it in this universe?”

You shrugged and settled back against her chest. “Because I’m me and you’re you. But mostly, because I am me.”

Lucy didn’t answer. She knew as much as anyone that once you’ve made your mind up, there was no swaying it, and that she didn’t have the energy in her to either. Instead, she leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, wishing you’d find it in you somewhere to see yourself the way she sees you.

It would take some time until then, though, as only a few weeks later, she saw you hand-in-hand with Alexia coming to practice. Apparently, Alexia’s girlfriend was no more and you got what you wanted. It was okay, though, because Lucy found comfort in Ona, about to go on a second date with her the next day. You might have almost gotten the love you’d always desired with her, but it was just that, an almost.

[lovers-rck]

Abby when my period RAAHHHHHH

ok i know this request was about something smutty but i happen to be on my period and it came out a lot softer than i had intended so I APOLOGIZE..... smutty abby coming soon (we hope)

but enjoy

☆

"do we have those chips that we ate the other day?"

the christmas lights that are taped to your bedroom wall with tape stolen from your ex-roommate are slowly peeling off. abby looks at them.

"uhh... the orange ones?" she says, her gaze returning to the computer in front of her.

"yes" a mild pain settles in your abdomen; a warning of the upcoming colic.

"lev ate them all" abby's fingers type rapidly, the word counter increasing second by second.

"oh my god" you protest, more from the upcoming pain than from the chips "tell your child not to eat my food"

abby laughs lightly without stopping writing "it's not my child, for your information" thousands of daggers attack your abdomen "i'll buy you more tomorrow".

the pain takes your breath away. your body twists in on itself like a little bug looking for warmth to soothe the pain.

the pain lasts for a minute or so, but you can swear it lasted hours; your body is the trojan horse and the warriors inside your belly were out to fight tooth and nail, but against yourself.

your mouth lets out a moan of pain and abby turns around. she sees your body curled in on itself, your face contorted in winces of pain and she could swear she'd buy you all the chips you wanted if it would ease the pain.

abby gets up from her chair and her stocking-clad feet with your face stamped on them scurry across the room. your valentine's day present.

she gave you a t-shirt that reads "my girlfriend is better than yours".

"are you okay?" abby mentally beats herself up for asking such an obvious question "do you need anything?"

you shake your head and feel the warmth of her hand on your shoulder "just a second".

abby nods even when you can't see her. the pain lingers for a few more seconds, leaving your body for short moments and then fiercely attacks again.

"this is lev's fault" you joke, and abby knows it's her cue to go along.

her body climbs onto the bed, her muscles navigate between the sheets and blankets resting on the mattress, her freckled skin finds yours and her arms capture your body, enveloping it in a warmth that can cure all ill.

"no" you mutter "you have to finish the essay abby".

you try to pull away from abby, to detach yourself from her alluring warmth. that essay has been dwelling in abby's mouth, between her molars and gums, for months. you remember the countless times abby mentioned to you how important that essay was, how it could ruin or resolve her life, how nervous and anxious she was.

basically, it was very important.

but abby is abby, and she's a very committed girlfriend "don't be stupid" a breeze of freckles and moles comes back to invade you and press you against her body "it's my break".

you roll your eyes, abby never took breaks, but you decided to grant yourself the right to be a little selfish about her future and say nothing, resting your head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat.

abby's fingers dance through the fine hair on your head, untangling imperceptible knots and combing through each strand, blessing it with her warm touch belonging to a movie summer. you remember the time abby asked you if you were jealous of the sun that kissed her skin and caused more and more freckles with each passing summer; you laughed and tapped her shoulder playfully.

and to your stupidity, you did feel a little bit jealous

"you know what, i have the theory that every time you kiss me i get a new freckle" abby had said, she had sunglasses on but you could feel her gaze on yours "maybe you can test it"

that summer you gave her a million kisses.

"Do you want some painkillers?" abby mumbles, her words vibrating in her chest.

"i can handle it" you look at her. she's grimacing "what?"

"whatever" abby says and her breath hits your face.

wait a moment.

"stick out your tongue" you say

"what?"

"just do it!"

her hand rests on your lower back, her fingers make small circular motions, your chest bumps against hers.

when abby sticks out her tongue, you can see how it is slightly tinged orange.

"you ate the chips!" you yell.

abby's cheeks redden slightly and her laughter is loud. her body vibrates under yours.

"you're a liar!" you say, a smile growing on your face against your will "you fucking liar!"

abby continues to laugh and her hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, drawing your lips to hers.

she laughs some more and kisses you, slow and sweet with a disguised apology unraveling on your lips. abby opens her mouth wider and you can taste the salty taste of your stolen food.

"you're a liar" you whisper against her lips, her hand still on the back of your neck, holding you against her "i'll tell this to lev."

forehead to forehead, you can see abby's eyes narrow at your smile "i'm sorry" abby whispers too, leaving a small kiss on your lips "can you forgive me?"

she scatters small kisses all over your face: down your cheeks; the bridge of your nose; the bone of your cheekbones; the corner of your mouth; over your eyelids.

"please?" abby murmurs, her fingers caressing your cheeks "huh?" you slowly deny, a smile escaping from the corner of your lips "you don't forgive me?"

you deny again, and abby's mouth meets yours again. she kisses you so slowly that you forget for a second the stabbing pain of the colic attacking your body, you feel drunk, lost in the wetness of her tongue searching for a home in your mouth, so delicate and erotic at the same time.

"and now?" abby murmurs, her pupils dilated, her hand on the back of your neck.

"that's manipulation" you whisper, feeling her heart beat stronger.

she shrugs, caressing your jaw and neck "I just use the tools I have at my disposal"

you smile and leave a kiss on the tip of her nose "you forgave me?" she continues.

"i'm considering it" you murmur, and the blonde girl's lips invade yours again.

[hazelsmirrorball]

Rockstar Girlfriend III. | Hazel Callahan 

Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Popstar! Reader Summary: Hazel Callahan and Y/n L/n have to be in a pr relationship, but both of them can stand each other but recently things are starting to look up.  Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Fluff, slight loser! Hazel. Not proof read. Sorry for any mistake, English isn't my main language. a/n: I should be doing an essay for class here we are. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for all the love. There could possibly be another part.  ps. the song is "Lavender Haze" by Taylor Swift

part one. part two. part four. part five.

“Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say. No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me”

The two lines stared back at her as she anxiously tapped her pen against the couch hoping that some words would magically show up. She was desperate, very desperate. The deadline was near and she had made zero to no progress only having the first two lines of the song. She needed to finish the last song on the album, her manager had emphasized how important this album was for their career as a band. They needed to hop on the wave of success “dating” Hazel Callahan brought. 

She hated it, the only reason people were actually listening to her band wasn’t because they were talented but because she was attached to Hazel’s name. Not only did Hazel have several awards, a reputation of a god and a talented band but now Y/n’s band success was thanks to her.  She wanted to prove to the people that she was as talented as Hazel Callahan and her band. That’s why she offered herself to write that song on the album and that’s how she found herself at one am in the morning in the recording studio attempting to get out of the writer's block she had been stuck in for days. 

“No deal, the 1950’s shit they want for me. I just..” Y/n hummed the melody as taped the pen on the cushion attempting to get a beat. She was determined to get this song out. She needed to prove to her manager, to herself, to her band and to Hazel that she was talented.  “For fucks sake” Y/n muttered out as she took a sip of energy drink crumbling the paper up and throwing it in a pile of paper on the floor. She threw her head back on the couch stretching her legs under the coffee table. She closed her eyes, controlling her breath. Someone had cleared their throat from the other side of the room startling her. Y/n had lifted her head staring at the person in front of her. 

Hazel Callahan stood before Y/n, the only thing separating them was the table in the middle of the studio. Hazel’s body was adorned in a familiar sweater which instantly caused Y/n to smile at her.  Hazel held onto her guitar case while her tote bag rested on her shoulder. She sent a warm smile towards Y/n’s way, not her usual smirk, which actually scared her. For Y/n, this felt like she was crossing unknown territory. Why was Hazel at the studio late at night? It didn’t make any sense. 

“Hey, I hope I’m not bothering your creative process. I just.. You know. I was here in the morning and left by lunch. Didn’t see you move from your spot so I thought you might be hungry.  I brought some food so we could eat.  I always get good inspiration with a full stomach so I decided to bring your usual, I think… I’ve seen you order it a bunch of times before so I really hope it’s your usual and that I didn’t get it wrong” Hazel rambled quickly, taking out a brown bag from her tote bag and placing it on top of the table in front of them. She slowly rested her guitar case against the leather couch and quickly sat in front of the table also taking out her food out of her tote bag. 

“You know. It’s kind of scary that you’re being this nice to me.” Y/n said softly as she  inspected the bag slowly, surprised that Hazel had gotten her usual order perfectly.  Hazel took a bite of the fries shrugging her off. 

“I know it’s hard to believe but I am a nice person, Y/n. I just like messing with you, you make this cute little face when you're angry” She replied, taking a bite of her burger as Y/n followed her actions. Y/n could feel her face flushing at Hazel’s compliment. Her voice saying her name sounded like a melody she couldn’t get out of her head. What was happening?

“Thank You, Hazel. I really appreciate you bringing the food and everything but I need to finish this song. Management wants it for tomo.. Well actually today and I’m not even halfway done. ” Y/n said, placing her food down and reaching to grab her pen. As she grabbed it Hazel rested her hands on top of hers. Y/n looked up, locking eyes with Hazel as she felt herself loose the grip on the pen. Hazel cleared her throat, tapping her hand awkwardly, moving it away quickly. She looked to the side awkwardly, not wanting to face Y/n. 

“You are stressed and it’s pretty clear that you need a break. So forget about the song and talk to me. I know you’ll get the inspiration soon enough, Y/n. You are a talented girl.” Hazel said, rubbing the back of her neck turning to look at her quickly. 

“You, Hazel Callan, an award winning rock star, think I’m talented?” Y/n gasped dramatically placing a hand towards her chest in a joking manner not believing Hazel’s words. Hazel rolled her eyes, continuing eating her food. 

“I actually believe you guys are underrated. I consider myself a very big B/n fan. Your last album and quite honestly I believe it deserved several awards. More people need to hear you guys. I know that if they take the time they’ll see how talented you are and you’ll be on top of the world”  Hazel responded, scrunching up the wrapper and throwing it inside the paper bag. 

“I didn’t know you were such a fan. Would’ve sent you a signed sweater instead of the one you have.” Y/n said while continuing to eat her food. Hazel’s smiled started to form slowly while looking down at her Y/n’s merch. 

“I had to fight someone for this sweater, Ln. Now you should understand how big of a fan I am. So if you give me a signed one, I’ll love you forever” She said jokingly while leaning towards the pile of papers picking one up reading Y/n’s messy writing on a scrunched up piece.  

“Please don’t laugh at it. I tried my best.” Y/n muttered while placing her head on the table hiding her face from Hazel. 

“No, Y/n. You’re off to a good start. Let me help you out. Maybe we can come up with something together. You wrote here, I feel the blank, creeping up on me, what did you really want to write? Come on don’t be shy” She asked, while her eyes reread the lyrics. Her hand reached towards her guitar case, took her acoustic guitar out and placed it on her lap. As she strummed the guitar tuning it, Y/n felt herself smile. She wanted to write a love song and as much as she wanted to push Hazel away, the only thing she could think about was Hazel and her lavender sweater. 

“Lavender Haze” She muttered softly onto the table. Hazel straightens up trying to see her facial expressions. Y/n slowly raised her face up looking at Hazel.  

“Speak up, pretty girl,” Hazel said, sending her way an encouraging smile. Y/n felt herself blushed, feeling completely flustered by Hazel’s actions. 

“Lavender Haze. I feel a Lavender Haze creeping up on me. ” Y/n replied confidently, while  she watched Hazel nodded writing down on the paper. 

“Well, Y/n. Let’s make Lavender haze a real hit, baby” Hazel replied, passing her the pen with a confident smile. That’s how two girls that supposedly hated each other wrote a song at midnight about the Lavender Haze. 

...

Thank You so much for reading.

[next part]

previous chapter

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

Some more AUs I've been loving. I'm trying to alternate between AU and canon verse rec lists so bear with me. Remember that if you like a fic you should definitely let the author know as such.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.

theogony by @clare-with-no-i

The trip that Lily Evans expects to go on is the annual pre-dissertation jaunt to Athens with the rest of her Classical Civilizations PhD program. The trip she does not expect to go on is to 479 BCE, right on the cusp of one of the most important battles in the Greco-Persian war. Now, she has to navigate antiquity as she tries to find her way back to the 21st Century, God—or gods—help her.

James wants to win this war. No, James needs to win this war. He is a man of honor and duty, and even if it means dying a gruesome, bloody death, he will go down in history as one of Athens's great warriors. He will suffer no distractions; not even beautiful ones who speak strangely and refuse to listen to his orders.

 -- OR: The Outlander-Meets-Ancient-Greece Jily AU that no one asked for Maya dreams of.

I can't believe it took me this long to read this fic but OH MY GOD!! Clare's writing is phenomenal, I've known this for a while now, but THE DEDICATION TO HISTORICAL ACCURACY, I'm so impressed. If only I could put even half that amount of effort into my major essays for school. EVERYONE GO READ THIS NOW

Sweathearts' Special by @tinyluminaryzombie

What happens when your coffee shop nemesis, asks you to pretend to be a couple?

Or "I’ve been staring at the stupid cupcakes for the past hour, and they look way too good. Anyways, would you be willing to join forces and pretend to be together for the free cupcake and coffee?”

Welcome to Pettyville by @women-inthe-sequel

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

A love square but it's just the same two idiots

Tall Dark and Glasses by @jamesunderwater

Tall Dark and Glasses (or TDG as he is more affectionately known) is the mysterious, painfully good-looking stranger who has been frequenting Lily's favourite coffee shop for months now. But despite having an embarrassing acronym for him, Lily, a burned-out STEM major, is too comfortable being a wallflower to go up to him herself. Thank god for playing cards, I guess.

coffee shops and copious amounts of sugar by @mystinkysocks

James decides to finally start revising, the coffee shop he attends introduces him to someone new!

As someone who spends an ungodly amount of time studying in public (at cafés and libraries), all I dream of is to one day live out my very own coffee shop AU

Unlicenced by @ohmygodshesinsane

Lily Evans begrudgingly agrees to get in the car with classmate and sometime-foe James Potter and his not-quite-earned P-plates after a particularly rubbish day.

Drop-Off also by @/ ohmygodshesinsane

James Potter takes Lily Evans home, and wants to make something clear.

Disclaimer that they’re Australian in this AU. You guys don't understand how much Lily Evans means to me. I want to give her a hug.

pretty, pretty boy by rosiemary0 (on ao3)

Pretty face, with golden brown eyes and strong cheekbones (one of which is adorned with a smudge of charcoal). Pretty hands—very, very pretty hands, Lily’s thoughts interject—which hold a jar each, one with water and the other paintbrushes.

Or the one where James is an artist and Lily hates socialising.

I'll Manage by @kaymardsa

James and Lily fall in love during the war.

In which Lily runs a refugee camp and James is an ex-sniper

I can't remember if I've recommended this fic already but again I recently re-read it and wanted to share

'Tis the Fucking Season by @thequibblah

Six-year absences. Yearly photograph burnings (figuratively). Low-cut tops. Two nosebleeds. Little red notebooks. The Past, with a capital P. The desire to pour your heart out to strangers (maybe pathologically). The desire to do unspeakably bad things to one James Potter. These are the ingredients that make up Lily Evans's holiday season.

Shelby the cabbie is in for a fucking ride.

I have been searching for this fic for two months and nearly gave up. An absolute classic that everyone should read!!

Two's a Crowd also by @/ thequibblah

Regency AU in which "the only thing Lily Evans can share with the Earl of Devon is a healthy dose of mutual dislike."

In Search of Something More by @kay-elle-cee

In the sunlit garden of her sister’s home, Lord Potter had promised Lily a life of her own design, with minimal expectations—her presence at community events, companionship, and an heir. As the two stumble into the routine of marriage and work to make a life together at Stinchcombe Hall, unsolicited feelings provoke each to start wondering if this is merely a marriage…or if it could be something more.

No, I will not shut up about this fic. Anything that Kelsey writes is bound to be amazing but this one holds a special place in my heart. Note that this is an ongoing fic though. I tend to recommend completed works but this one is too good not to include.

Pinkest Bluestocking of the Ton by @wearingaberetinparis 

Dearest Reader, the ton are abuzz with the latest gossip, and so it is my honour to impart to you the news that the Duke of Peverell has returned to London at last! A year after setting off on his tour of Europe, Lady Peverell's son has returned and rumour has it that his mother is preparing for the most joyous of occasions: a late summer wedding that sees her son wed the next Duchess of Peverell. It is my sincere hope that you have stored a bottle of wine for this most delightful of upcoming events for if ever there were a more determined mama, this writer is Icarus and this society paper has been scorched for flying too close to the sun.

A Jily Regency Romance inspired by Shondaland's "Bridgerton".

Again this is an ongoing fic, but it's too good not to include in this rec list! I haven’t caught up with all the chapters yet but I love the story so far!

A Heart of Coal also by @/ wearingaberetinparis

They say fortune favours the bold, yet Lily Evans was given her death sentence at seventeen. As soon as midnight strikes on the eve of her eighteenth birthday, her heart will turn to coal. Gryffindor knight James Potter, however, is the last to accept such a fate. For while Lily Evans’ curse foretells her death, his foreshadows a life without his unrequited true love at his side.

Fairytale AU in which the love is requited they're just idiots

Three Lemons and a Dragon by @thelighthousestale

Once upon a time, there lived a Prince named James who had to save his father's Kingdom by getting married. One day an older woman gifts him three lemons that will lead him to his true love.

Dillweed in a Fancy Metal Can by @eastwindmlk

When Lily gets dragged to a Renaissance Faire, she reluctantly agreed to go to the jousting event where she is pulled into the show against her will, or is it?

Lily represents me

Queen Foxtail also by @/ eastwindmlk

Once Upon A Time...

There was an arrogant prince who turned down every suitable match and drove his parents to do something drastic. Marry him off to the next merchant that steps through their gates.

across the universe by rcdwings (on ao3)

“So, you’re saying that in these other worlds, James Potter and Lily Evans exist, too?”

She hadn’t expected to hear that, hadn’t even thought about it that way. She was too busy thinking about if in those other worlds, she and her friends could be seventeen and free instead of the war torn teenagers they were. Now that he’d put it that way, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander.

“I would assume so,” she swallowed. “Not sure what we would be like, though.”

A beat, then a soft hum. “Anything,” he smiled at her, “There are countless worlds, right? We could be anything.”

only love can hurt like this by @fireblts 

Lily doesn’t quite know everything, but it feels pretty close.

The main thing she still doesn’t get is soulmates. Love doesn’t seem like something that should be painful. Or rather, love seems like it’s painful enough on its own without any help.

Soulmate AU - whenever your soulmate is hurt or in pain, you can feel it too.

Soulmate AUs are my comfort genre of fics. I haven't been feeling to well lately and rediscovering this fic was a delight

The Librarian of Hogsmeade Village by @ohmygodshesinsane

Lily's work as a librarian in the small village of Hogsmeade has kept her occupied for the past six years, forever keeping the wheels of the town on the track. As the holidays approach, she prepares to settle in with a nice mug of tea and a well-thumbed old book. When a new resident and his son arrive at her weekly story-reading, with cheeky smiles and big hearts, those plans are tossed out the window in favour of chasing love, for once - not escaping it.

Lily living the cozy life of my dreams. I think it's well known by now that I love reading about single parents and well James with his baby boy always puts a smile on my face.

Spitting Image by @charmsandtealeaves

James Potter always knew he wanted to build a family, he just hadn’t found the right person to build it with - yet. Freezing his sperm at Gringotts Sperm Bank was a no-brainer really. He’d have children when he found the right person, and now he had an insurance policy. Then Lily Evans walked into his place of work with her son - the spitting image of him.

linking this art that the talented @constancezin drew inspired by this fic

Every time I see that Ray has updated, reading the new chapter becomes the highlight of my day

The Stag Prince Across The Sea also by @/ charmsandtealeaves

The realm of Hogwarts had lived for decades in a carefully negotiated harmony between the leaders of the four clans. However, when the time came for son to marry daughter, the Slytherin King refused to offer his daughter's hand to any of the other grand houses’ suitors. As the Slytherin King departed the shore, bound for the ship that would allow him to escape across the Green Sea, he cast a curse on the great families.

“Let ye be marked. Marred by tooth, hoof, and claw. May your sons never be fit for any bride!”

Slytherin invoked an ancient magic, which transformed each family's eldest son into creatures under the light of the full moon. The Kings searched far and wide for a cure to no avail while trying to keep secret the wrong that had been done to them. Years passed and with them grew a sense of unrest, a kingdom on the precipice of collapse...

what love is, I think by @potterandevans-blog-blog

It's James Potter's birthday, his nineteenth to be exact. Some people, if they're lucky, find a tattoo on their back on their nineteenth birthday, a tattoo that can help them discover their soulmate. And if the antlers on his back are anything to go by, James might just have a soulmate of his own out there, somewhere.

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

[rekino2114]

Cute things the drdt girls do for you

A/n:episode 15 was pretty great, I might post my full thoughts on it and chapter 2 as a whole next week when it ends maybe

Teruko tawaki

Follows the sidewalk rule

The sidewalk rule says that when two people are walking on the sidewalk the one who is stronger and/or can take a hit better is the one who walks near the traffic, and teruko follows it...only with you

She has actually been hit by cars before because of her luck (you were very concerned when she randomly dropped that in the middle of a conversation) so protecting you from that is her main priority

She kinda does it subconsciously, gently gripping your wrist and guiding you on the right side, when you ask her why she did that she just blushes and blurts out "I don't want you to get hit by a car"

She actually did get hit when she was with you once but you were unharmed while teruko had to go to the hospital

"I'm so so sorry teru, I should have been more careful"

"Don't worry, at least you're ok, plus this isn't the worst accident that ever happened to me"

"........You're literally covered in bandages and casts"

"Yeah and?"

You start to think her luck actually works because of how she can survive stuff like that

Min jeung

Writes love letters

Min spends a lot of her time writing, be it papers, notes or her schedule. Writing is a big part of her day-to-day life, but what she loves writing the most is definitely love letters for you

Her grammar and handwriting are impeccable, even her punctuation is on point. The only way you can tell that it's a love letter and not an English essay is because of the heart drawn at the bottom

There doesn't have to be a specific reason for her to write you a letter sometimes she just feels like doing it, and you love receiving them,they're a written testament of her love for you

Sometimes they're in really cute envelopes with stamps and everything. she loves seeing your reaction to reading them

"Hello y/n, I have written this to inform you that unfortunately, I won't be able to hang out with you today as I have an important test, feel free to come to my dorm at around 7 pm though, I should have finished by then, I know I could have texted you this but a letter is more romantic don't you think?

Love you

Min jeung" ♡

P.s.:If you see Charles, do you mind telling him thanks for helping me in chemistry? He was a great help

P.p.s.:Yes, don't worry, I'll remember to take breaks, I know how you get if I don't

Arei nageishi

beats up people for you

Ok, it's more than that. It's more how she treats you compared to other people. She's way nicer to you compared to everyone else. Sure, she still teases, throws light insults at you, but you know she doesn't actually mean it...unlike with everyone else (except eden)

She's more than ok with people insulting her. She's used to it by now, and she can easily verbally abuse the person until they cry, but when someone insults you then they truly fucked up

She'll be smiling and giggling with you while the unconscious and bloody body of the person who was unfortunate or stupid enough to say anything negative about you is near her .....you didn't even know she was that strong but now you're kinda scared of her even if you know she'd never hurt you

She also kinda does it to receive compliments and praise for you, she expects you to be flattered and in awe at what she did for you, which you are, but you're also too worried about her to really compliment her

"Not everyone likes you, you're not y/n"

"Not everyone likes y/n"

"......names"

"......What?"

"Give me names bitch, I'll shut their mouth for good when I find them"

Hu jing

Makes you packed lunches

Listen, we all know how much of a mom this girl is. She practically adopted nico. and as her partner, you're definitely on the receiving end of her motherly tendencies

She scolds you when you don't clean your dorm,constantly sends you texts to make sure you're ok, and always checks during the day to make sure you've eaten enough and the best way to assure that is making you lunch herself

Everything always tastes great and incredibly fresh (definitely way better than what the school gives you), but you still feel kinda embarrassed. Even when you try to reject it, she'll try to feed you to make sure you eat. She also definitely wipes your mouth when you're finished

She also writes you a cute note saying things like "hope you have a great day, remember to stay hydrated and study hard" which......doesn't make that much sense since you always eat together in the cafeteria and she's literally standing near you as you read the note but it's so adorable you don't carea

"Come on Darling, you need to eat, don't you like what I made for you?"

"N-no it's not that hu, it's......embarrassing"

"Y/n l/n if you don't eat that, I'll make you....even if it's embarrassing, you still need to eat enough"

"......o-ok"

".....you too huh?"

"Hi nico.......yeah"

J rosales

Gives you her hoodie

Most of her classmates have seen j without her hoodie only on rare occasions, unlike you who have seen her like that multiple times

It's often when it's cold outside, j notices and takes off her hoodie to give it to you, you're very surprised and ask her if it's OK since she'll be cold too then but she just dismisses it and says that you're more important

If you compliment her on how pretty and cool she looks without it on, especially how beautiful her hair looks (I genuinely really love her hair, it looks so cool), she'll blush a lot and maybe ask for her hoodie back so she can hide her face in it (like she does in her sprite)

She'll actually start to wear her hood down more after you compliment her hair enough, because she secretly wants you to do it more but is too embarrassed to ask

"You sure about this j? Won't you get cold?"

"Nah, it's fine, if it really gets cold, I'll just put another one on"

"Cool, thanks so much babe"

"You're welcome"

".....did i mention your hair is pretty?"

"*blushes* y-yeah this is like the fifth time you said it"

"Sorry I can't help it if it's true"

Veronika grebenshchikova

Gifts you plushies

......kinda, it's more accurate to say she gifts you what once were plushies. Some have their heads ripped off, others are covered in blood with one of their eyes missing, it's creepy but sweet...in a Veronika way

Sometimes, she doesn't even give you the plushies directly. They just..... appear on your bed, the only way you can tell Veronika was the one to leave them is because only she would and could do something like this.....you still have no idea how she gets in your dorm but are too afraid to ask

She also gives you plushie and merchandise of every horror movie you can think of. One time she gave you a very haunted looking doll, like the one from Annabelle, and you could have sworn you saw it move at night

When you have movie night at your dorm (which happens very often), Veronika likes to snuggle with both you and all the plushies in your bed as you do the same, it's actually really comfortable

"*sigh* I hate group projects"

"Come on, teruko, I'm sure we'll get it done fast"

"Whatev-.......WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Oh those are the plushies Veronika gives me, aren't they cute?"

"1;NO THEY AREN'T 2: that's not what i meant.....WHY THE HELL IS VERONIKA IN YOUR ROOM?"

"Oh hi vero"

"HI darling, I just wanted to put this new plushie I got you in here"

".......the door was locked, y/n just opened it, how did you get here?"

"Oh yeah she does that, I don't know either"

"*giggle*"

"......You two are deranged"

Rose lacroix

Remembers everything about you

Ok, she remembers everything, period, but that's especially true for you. Any date that is important to you, like a birthday or a special event (like your first kiss) instantly becomes important to her too the moment you mention it, and she'll most likely give you gifts for them

Any food you like and dislike as well as any possible allergies you have are always on her mind when you're eating together, she could even order for you at restaurants if you want, she knows your tastes perfectly after all

Any gifts she gives you always is something you like, no matter if you just mentioned it once to her she remembered and got it for you, there doesn't even need to be a special date for it, sometimes she just feels like it and gifts you something

Unlike basically everything else, your information, likes, and dislikes are actually things she wants to remember and willingly keeps them in her mind. She loves you, so all of this is extremely important information to her

"Hey y/n, do you like this? I just finished painting it, take it"

"Oh it looks great, but why do you want to give it to me? It's not my birthday or anything"

"Oh no, I know, but it is your mom's birthday isn't it? I wanted to give it to her so she'd think I'm a good girlfriend"

"Oh OK....yeah it is. How did you know?"

"You told me, I think it was about.....three months ago, we were talking our families and you brought that up"

"You remembered that, that's so cool"

"Eh, I guess perfect memory comes with some pros....sometimes"

[trappedinafantasy37]

I'm currently writing up a rather lengthy essay analyzing all of Minthara's endings now that Patch 7 has dropped. There was a particular point that I wanted to make about one of her endings, but I think I need to discuss it separately. A discussion I fear is going to make a lot of you 'good only' players hate me.

During her romance scene after the grove raid, Minthara will want to have a little heart to heart with you. She will explain to you that the Absolute owns her mind and her body. She will also say that she does not know herself, as for the entire time she was unable to determine where the Absolute's will ended and where hers began. She also says that everything she has experienced since leaving the Underdark seems like a dream of somebody else's life.

Now, that is a really hard thing to picture or even imagine. Most of us only ever dream about ourselves. So, what is it like to dream of somebody else's? In Minthara's instance, she was dreaming of herself. More, she was dreaming of a bastardized and broken version of herself, doing things that she would not do. A version that she fails to find any reason or rational behind what they were doing. A version that amplified all of her worst qualities to their extreme as those were the qualities that the Absolute needed. And one of the new evil endings gives us a little bit of insight into what this dream looked like.

Look at this. What a beautiful day! A marvelous day! A great day! Going out to the market. Picking up some fresh, sweet, and delicious apples. Meeting and greeting your fellow denizens. Talking, laughing, just enjoying life because life is marvelous. You feel so carefree and at peace, that you just might start whistling and singing. Everything you do is the right choice, the best choice. And you just can't resist. Why would you? What is there to fight? Life couldn't be more perfect!

But this is what is actually happening the entire time.

This person is not even aware of what they are being forced to do. They think they are living the best day imaginable. But in reality, their body and their mind has been stolen from them, forced to do things that they otherwise would not do. Seems horrible and awful right? A nightmare!

This was Minthara's reality for who knows how long. She was living a completely different life in her own mind, a life that did not align with the reality of what her body was doing. And because there was a lack of awareness of her own actions, she did not have the capability to refuse whatever order that the Absolute, or Ketheric, or Orin gave her. She was denied that choice, she was denied her autonomy. She could not fight back because she was not aware that anything was wrong.

And when you free her from the Absolute, memories slowly trickle in, each of them disturbing in their own right. But she also has a line where she says that she barely remembers the grove as she was not herself. So there is a good chance that she only has a vague understanding of the things that she did while under the Absolute, but does not fully remember them. Meaning that these disturbing memories that are returning to her that are clear and vivid, are the ones that happened to her before being enthralled. Of Orin slaughtering her men, of Ketheric holding her down, of Orin torturing her in the colony, of Orin enthralling her.

We also know that the Absolute gave her false memories, ones that paint a completely different picture of how she was recruited. False memories that seemed so good, that they made Minthara worship and adore Orin. And who knows what Minthara and Orin did together when they were alone. All that is important to know is that if they did anything intimate, Minthara was not capable of recognizing it, nor refusing. To make it even worse, she probably perceived all of Orin's actions as being pleasant, when the reality was much more grim. All I can do is hope that she doesn't remember them. But considering how terrified she is of Orin, some of those memories probably did trickle through.

Listen, I am not trying to tell you that Minthara is a good person or that you have to like her. What I am saying is that it is wrong of you to blame her for the grove raid when she quite literally was not in control of her actions. And it is wrong of you to cast judgment onto her for something she was not even aware that she was doing, something that she was denied the right to refuse. And it is wrong of you to hold her morally responsible for something that she never chose to do. All of these companions are victims in their own way and it is wrong of you to act like Minthara is the only one who isn't (she already blames herself enough for what happened to her).

I do not ever want to hear another person claim that Minthara is a "genocidal lunatic" again.