#she’s been through so much and all she’s ever wanted was recognition

[mrsbarnesblog]

cost of betrayal

masterlist

summary: after Rafe finds out the truth about you and Hollis, he comes back from Morocco, expecting you to be gone, but you refuse to leave without trying to work things out first

word count: 1.7k.

warnings: part 2 spoilers, angst and fluff, pogue reader, arguments, trust issues

a/n: i stand Sofia and Rafe, guys. need them together asap 🙏

“I think I told you to get the fuck out of my house, Y/N?” It’s the first thing you hear when Rafe walks through the front door of his house, throwing his bag on the floor and walking right past you, not even looking in your direction. You get up from the couch, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants. 

Your chest feels tight, and your eyes are still swollen and red from the amount of crying as you silently follow him to the kitchen. That one stupid decision can cost you everything, including the man you love, and for the past few days, all you have been able to do is cry and curse yourself for being so stupid. 

You stop when Rafe leans forward with his hands on the counter, his back is unusually tense, you feel anger radiating from him even from a distance and it’s all your fault, you know that. 

“We need to talk.” You whisper, coming closer and hugging yourself with your arms. 

“I have nothing to talk to you about.” 

“Rafe, please. I need to explain.” He turns around suddenly, blue eyes colder than you have ever seen. You almost step back from Rafe’s intense gaze, because never before were you at the receiving end of that look. He was nothing but sweet and kind to you during your entire relationship, so losing that privilege hurts you even more. 

He tries to hold back, tries to calm himself down at the image of your looking at him so sadly, with regret written all over your face. Rafe breathes heavily, trying to hide the pain of feeling played by you—the only person he thought he could trust wholeheartedly. He hates that even now, even with the anger raging inside him, he still feels that instinct to protect you, to calm you.

Hurts at the realisation that he doesn't want to lose you, that a part of him feels like he cannot survive without you, that even after what you’ve done he can’t let you go. He doesn’t want you to actually leave him alone. 

“The fuck you need to explain? The way you betrayed me, huh?” He takes slow steps towards you, intimidating, almost threatening, but his voice shakes with emotions. “The way you went behind my back with that bitch Hollis to screw me up and make me lose my money? I fucking trusted you, I gave you everything and you still did that to me.” Rafe’s face was just inches from yours and you were unable to take your eyes from his, unable to even deny it, because he was not wrong. 

“I know, Rafe, I know!” You sob, unable to hold back your tears. “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant to set you up like that. I was angry at you and she appeared at that exact moment, and... 

“She was fucking angry!” He yells, throwing his hands up in the air. You flinch but still stay your ground. 

“Because you hurt me, Rafe!”

“Bullshit. I did nothing but take care of you.”

“I heard what you told your friends.” You yell back, not caring about trying to communicate properly anymore. You were wrong for doing that, yes, but the way his words made you feel at that moment was probably the worst pain you’ve ever experienced, so it wasn’t like you were the only one to blame. “That you’re not living with a pogue, that you have standards, that we’re just hooking up... I heard it all, Rafe. How did you expect me to react to that, huh?”

You see a slight shift of recognition or even regret in his eyes, but he quickly goes back to his previous coldness. 

“So you made me lose my money because of this shit?” 

“I know that it was wrong, okay? But... but do you understand what I felt at that moment? Do you understand how much it hurt me to hear it?” You sob again, desperately trying to wise away all of the tears that were streaming down your face. You’re barely able to speak properly with the lump in your throat, but you push it away because you feel there’s only one chance for you to get things straight with Rafe. 

He stays silent, his brows are knitted, whether in still-lingering anger or in a hint of regret and frustration because of the way you were feeling. Rafe always hated seeing you cry, seeing you hurt in any type of way, even if he hasn’t always been able to admit or express it, and now part of him is more angry at himself than at you. Your trembling frame, the way your shoulders shake with each sob, chips away at his anger, leaving only the fear of losing you.

“We’ve been together for more than a year, Rafe. I— I thought that it meant something to you. That I mean something to you. I was hoping that maybe all of your kook and pogue bullshit was long forgotten, but you didn’t even hesitate to say that to Topper.” Your voice is filled with sadness and despair, and you are aware that you are probably looking a mess right now. All  you can do is just wipe your face with the loose sleeves of your shirt, sniffing in between your words and trying to make your voice less shaky. 

"How was I supposed to feel?" How would you feel if you were in my situation, Rafe? If I said you did not mean anything to me and I was just having a good time?" You ask, but don’t get an answer. Instead, he just looks at you silently, with a blank expression, because he knows that he would’ve gone absolutely crazy. “I love you. I did for a long time, but you made me feel as if I was nothing to you. Just another pogue that you despise, that you keep around for fun until you find someone better and just dump!” Placing a hand on your violently beating heart, you take a deep breath before continuing. 

“It was stupid. I regretted it as soon as I did it and I wanted to tell you, but you had already signed the contract. I know I hurt you with what I did. But can you really say you didn’t hurt me first?” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that. He finally mutters, his voice quieter now. “But you don’t get it, Y/N. All my life, everyone’s expected me to be a certain way, to follow the same fucking rules I don’t even believe in. I thought… I thought if I kept us under the radar, I’d protect you from that. And you know how hard it is for me to open up—that I don’t want to let people in because everyone ends up leaving me.” 

“I never meant to betray you, I never wanted to be another person who hurts you, Rafe.” You feel like you are about to collapse, burying your face in your hands and crying. 

It feels like a joke of your spiraling mind at first, but when your body suddenly gets embraced in a familiar warmth and scent, you break down completely. Rafe hugs you around your shoulders and you wrap your hands around his waist, gripping the back of his shirt and hiding your face in his chest. You’re sniffing and trembling, unable to breathe properly, until you feel his hand at the back of your head and his low voice shushing you. 

“Breathe, baby. Just breathe. ‘S okay.” He rocks both of you from side to side until your breathing straightens. The steady beating of his heart soothes you quickly, until your tears get dry on your face. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. I was an idiot for not protecting you the way I should’ve.” You feel him slightly leaning down. Slow, delicate kisses being left on your temple, on your cheek, and with a slight movement of your head, Rafe’s able to capture your lips. 

Your face is still sticky with tears, and your lips are swollen, but neither of you care as you start to melt against him. It’s been way to long since he left for Morocco. The stress that you’ve experienced from your fight and from the fact that you were going crazy about his safety was overwhelming. 

While he was kissing you slowly, you both realized how hard it was to stay apart for that long, not sure of what was happening between you two. 

“I’m sorry that you lost so much money because of me.” You mumbled when he pulled away, resting his forehead on yours. 

“You know it’s not the damn money I actually care about. I thought that I was wrong about you, that I lost you, Y/N.” You shake your head against his, caressing the sides of his face with your hands. 

Rafe lifts his free hand that was not holding your waist, placing it on top of your hand and you see the way his tense shoulders immediately relax at the feeling of his mother’s ring still on your finger. 

“We’re making it official. I don’t care about this pogue bullshit, don’t care about whatever Topper with his crazy bitch or other kooks think about it. I’m not wasting my time anymore.” You smile through happy tears now, looking Rafe in the eyes, seeing that familiar warmth that you were afraid to never experience again. He smirks back at you, holding you tighter against his chest. “No more hiding and lying, yeah, baby? I love you.” 

“Y-yes. No more of that stuff. I love you too, Ray.” You giggle before he drags you even closer to kiss you again. 

[top-rhaenyra]

thinking about alicent hightower literally makes me want to throw up sometimes like oh my god someone give her a hug

[pippin-katz]

In Defense Of Edwin

Something that has bothered me is that there's a significant amount of people who talk about Edwin being unaware of Charles' pain as if he's oblivious, or like he did something wrong; that is simply unfair to Edwin.

Charles is happy, friendly, and wonderful. That is his personality. That is not all forced.

People are quick to jump on the line that Charles has been hiding his pain from Edwin, but a line people are ignoring from that argument is: "He's probably been hiding it from himself!"

His behavior indicates that he doesn't talk or think about trauma or negativity unless it's relevant to the situation. I doubt Charles even realized how bad his trauma was until the Devlin Murders. His pain was so repressed that he wasn't "feeling" it anymore.

Charles’ Triggers

While I'm not going to say that Charles did not hide his pain from Edwin at all, I am going to point out that this may have been the first time, in a very long time or ever, that they encountered something this close to home for him.

The only real reason Charles discusses his trauma now is because the Devlin House triggers him, genuinely in a psychological way. It's not just the "crazy dad" that gets to him. There are so many details that fit Charles personally. That whole situation is too fucking much for him.

The song Owner Of A Lonely Heart playing in the background; a song that he says he liked enough to get the cassette tape but that it was smashed by his father.

The controlling and restrictive behaviors of the father on his daughters. The eldest daughter writing about walking on eggshells and looking forward to graduation.

The way that the father kills them; he doesn't shoot them, or poison them, or whatever, he butchers them. His attacks are physically direct. He swings an axe, so his movement is the root of the violence. If it had been a gun, it would've been his finger on the trigger, but the bullets hitting them. Charles was abused by his father through the means of a belt, which is physically direct.

The loop, having to watch it over, and over, and over again with no break, no relief, and not being able to do anything, no matter how many times he sees it happen. Charles' abuse seemed to be regular and constant, no matter what he did. It always ended the same way.

All of that is then exacerbated by the Night Nurse forcing him to reexperience his trauma the very next day. That's a lot of specific details and events that lead to his complete breakdown.

Charles hasn't been consciously choosing to hide all of that pain from Edwin. It had been buried to the point where even he couldn't see it anymore, but the Devlin House uprooted it from his subconscious.

Charles’ Parents

Now, he does hide his habit of checking on his parents from Edwin, but that's not fully about his abuse. Charles misses his family, his life, being alive.

It's worth noting that he only shows Crystal his parents because he's trying to connect with her about not being able to go home. He didn't bring that up on a whim. It was relevant to help Crystal feel understood. She's not special; if someone completely different from her did the exact same thing, Charles would've shown them too.

Now, let's talk about him not telling Edwin. Charles may not have a full comprehension of Edwin's experiences, but he knows he's different from "normal" people. Hiding his parents from him is likely just as much about not wanting to hurt Edwin as it is protecting himself.

Edwin does not show any type of longing for his life. Everything he knew about the world from his time is gone or been changed beyond recognition. He doesn't have a family to miss, not that he was close to them in the first place; even if he did have an emotional connection to them, they've been long dead.

And Edwin seems unbothered, but there’s no way for Charles to know that for certain. Watching his parents weekly would remind Edwin constantly that he does not have anyone. He’s worried about being insensitive; he feels like he would be unintentionally taunting Edwin and rubbing salt into the wound.

Edwin has been dead for over 100 years and spent 70 of those years being torn apart by a demon in Hell; how could he even remember physical sensations other than pain and exhaustion? How could he remember the taste of food while running through Gluttony, watching its inhabitants vomit profusely? He never saw the appeal of romance or sex prior to his death, and then he witnesses the bloody masses of people in Lust; how could he be anything other than repulsed?

Charles tells him that pain is not a contest, but he almost without a doubt compares his own experiences to Edwin's. It's something people with low self-esteem do more than others. He feels guilty, like he’s selfish for being upset; Edwin has it so much worse.

How does being abused by his dad compare to being dragged to Hell? He got hit with a belt; Edwin was ripped apart. Who is he to whine about his life to a boy who has died more times than days Charles has existed?

He may not have had the specific details before, but the knowledge of it being Hell was enough. When you don't put your own needs on your priority list, that's one of the first "justifications" your brain comes up with. They already have enough on their plate, and you don't need to talk about it. You're totally fine! So yes, hiding his parents from Edwin makes sense from his perspective.

But his abuse? Charles doesn't even realize how much pain he's in; how could Edwin have realized?

My point is that Charles wasn't actively choosing to hide all of his pain from Edwin for thirty years, so to blame Edwin for not noticing is like blaming a blind person for picking up a red ball instead of a blue one. He couldn't have noticed; there was nothing for him to notice. Charles wasn't wearing a full mask.

The second Charles shows any indication that something is wrong, Edwin does notice!

Edwin may have trouble with people, but he's not oblivious, and he knows Charles. If he's ever been upset like this before, he would've noticed. He notices Charles' change in behavior after Crystal joined in only a day, and he doesn't deny it when Edwin calls him out.

Edwin also follows up on asking if he needs to talk about his father. Charles brushes him off, but Crystal and Niko show up before Edwin has a chance to press a little more, which I think he would've. I don't think Charles would've opened up, but it would've shown that Edwin is aware that all is not well. He is aware, but on top of being in the dark about it, he's got his own shit he's working out and cases to solve. His attention is divided.

I think it's important to remember this fact that has been driving me mental for months now:

Charles and Edwin’s dynamic during the show is a completely different dynamic than the one they've had for the past thirty years.

The introduction of Crystal, going to Port Townsend, meeting Niko, Monty, fighting Esther, the Cat King, etc. etc. etc. Everything about their relationship gets shaken up from the start of the show. They're both acting differently in all sorts of ways, and some they even acknowledge to each other.

What we saw of them in Port Townsend is not what Charles and Edwin were during those thirty years. It's unfair to pass judgement on something we don't actually know about.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm getting really tired of fics/posts making a commentary about Edwin not noticing being something he has failed at. Does Edwin feel guilty for not realizing it sooner? Absolutely, but please, at least acknowledge that it wasn't his fault if you're sticking to canon. If you want to twist some shit into it to make it more complicated, make it more angsty, go right ahead! I'm absolutely not stopping you!

But canonically, at least I feel after studying these characters under a microscope, Edwin could not have known sooner.

(ko-fi)

[whatever-lmaoo]

Sweet Life Of Mine

Summary: Life works in mysterious ways and Bucky would go through it all again if it meant he’d get to experience the rest of it with you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x curvy!reader

CW: fluff, a bit of teasing, flashbacks are italicized and thoughts are in bold and italicized[2.4k]

A/N: As always the cute line dividers were made by @firefly-graphics 🌸 I’ve decided to turn this into a two-parter 🙂‍↔️ Special recognition to @buckys-wintersoldier without her encouragement I probably would’ve trashed this fic early on in the process😂 and @targaryenvampireslayer for listening to me yap and helping me come up with ideas when I would get stuck😍I am so thankful for both of them and y’all should check out their works because they are wonderful!!!💖 With that being said this fic has grown on me a lot and I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I do🥹 Dialogue is not my strong suite so I apologize if any of the lines sound corny🤧 I don’t give anyone permission to copy, translate or repost my works on here or other sites😊 Comments and constructive feedback is always appreciated!!

Bucky absentmindedly breaks down the last few cardboard boxes, taking in your newly furnished living room. Photos of you and your respective families are scattered along the walls and on top of your antique furniture. Plants strategically placed around the room and the gorgeous lamps you picked out created a welcoming atmosphere.

He throws the last box on top of his makeshift pile, wondering how all of the broken roads of his life led him to this moment, how he got his dream girl, a woman who accepted him with his baggage and loved the parts of him that he deemed unpleasant, physically and mentally. It all felt so surreal to him.

As the time grew closer for the wedding to start, Bucky couldn’t help but pace his dressing room floor. He occasionally looked in the mirror to fix his hair or wipe his face with another paper towel before throwing it away in the almost-filled trash can. He felt like his throat was constricted and began fidgeting with his tie. Eventually, he gave up and hunched over a table, trying to remind himself that everything was okay.

The weight of a hand rubbing his back, slowly grounded him for a moment. Steve’s voice sounded muffled in his ears but grew clearer as Bucky took in deeper breaths and continued to focus on the circular motion of Steve’s movements. “Buck, do you want me to get her for you?” The small “please” he lets out is all it takes for Steve to rush to your room.

Bucky stood up and grabbed a bottle of water from on top of a dresser. He was almost finished with it when a soft knock caught his attention.

“Baby?” You say opening the door slightly and sticking your hand through the gap. A clammy palm rests on yours as you massage his knuckles with your thumb, imprinting your touch in his mind, a silent reminder that you’ll always be there when he needs you.

“You ready to be stuck with me for life, Hotshot?” You tease, grinning as you hear him let out a quiet laugh.

"I should be asking you that, Gorgeous,” he breathes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for something than I am at the thought of marrying you. I’m just worried that I’ll somehow mess this up or this is one big dream. I’m afraid that at any second I’ll wake up in a cold sweat and find myself sitting on that old apartment floor, where instead of hearing that lovely voice of yours, it’ll be the older lady next door yelling because she muted her TV again or the loud honks from angry New Yorkers." He rests his head against the door and clutches the doorknob with his metal hand.

“Can you feel that, Bubba?” you say, placing his hand on your chest, feeling the rapid rhythm of your heart beating against his fingertips. “My heart beats like this when I see or listen to you. When I think about being able to wear your ring on my finger, taking your last name, and one day being the mother of your children. My heart beats for you, Bucky, and that's one of the realest feelings I've ever experienced.”One thing Bucky loves about you is you’ve never judged him for expressing his fears, and you’re always there to support him when his insecurities eat away at his progress.

He can hear Natasha's distant voice calling for you and smiles softly.

“I’ve got to head back for last-minute touch-ups, but I’ll see you at the end of the aisle, right?” You reach for his hand on your chest, gently kissing his palm before reconnecting your hands together.

“I’ll be there waiting for you. I love you, Gorgeous.” He squeezes your hand, running his thumb over your fingers.

“I love you too, Hotshot.” And with that, you slip your hand from his loose grip and through the door, your hurried steps echoing in the hall. Steve enters a moment later, noticing that the previous tension in Bucky’s body has almost completely disappeared.

“Let’s go make you a married man, Buck.”

“What are we waiting for, punk,” Bucky says, slapping him on the back playfully, laughing with each other as they walk out of the room, ready to make his dreams come true.

“Hey Gorgeous, I’ve got a question for you.” Bucky groans out as he starts straightening up his mess.

“Ask away, Hotshot.” You utter, your voice resounding slightly in the foyer as you hang up a picture of the two of you on your wedding night.

Humming along to the soft music from the living room while admiring how Bucky’s skin glowed under the golden hues from the sparklers your friends and family surrounded the two of you with. You can still feel the love radiating from him just by looking at his tender smile and remembering how his deep blue eyes twinkled with fondness as he gazed at you with his arms wrapped around your waist.

“How do you feel about going on a date tomorrow?” You smile at the steady sound of footsteps approaching you. A pair of hands enclose your wide hips, and Bucky’s chin rests on your shoulder as he inhales the pleasant scent of your perfume.

“I would love to go on a date with you, Bubs.” The warmth of his breath sends a shiver through your body, and you can feel your cheeks heating up as he places a sweet kiss below your ear.

“Where are you going to take me?” You ask, grabbing his hands and placing them on your plush belly, leaning back in his embrace.

“Let’s see, I could take you to the movies, an amusement park, or maybe a pumpkin patch. The possibilities are endless.” You hear his grin before you see it, turning your head towards him.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” A pout forms on your face, and you twist in his arms as he straightens up, clasping your hands together behind his neck.

“You would be correct, Gorgeous,” he says, smirking and pecking your lips. You hope he didn’t notice the slight widening of your eyes as an idea popped into your head.

“How am I supposed to know what to wear if I don’t know where we’re going?” You ask sweetly, letting your fingertips play with the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

“I’ll pick out something for you.” Your head tilts and eyebrows raise in amusement.

“You…are going to choose what I wear?” Bucky rolls his eyes and licks his lower lip in thought.

“Are you questioning my fashion sense, Doll? If I remember correctly, you wear my clothes more than I do.” His hands slip down to the top of your ass drawing your body in even closer, and you roll your eyes this time.

“You’ve never put together an outfit for me before, and I like wearing your clothes because they’re comfortable and smell like you.”

“Don’t want that pretty little head of yours worrying about a thing tomorrow. And I’m not complaining; they look better on you than on me. You make anything you wear look amazing, especially when it's in white.” A warm smile is plastered across his face, his eyes darting up to the photo behind you, another memory from the best day of his life playing in his mind like an old film.

“Do I look alright? Am I beginning to smell?” Bucky questions Steve and Sam as he tries to smoothen out his already-perfect suit jacket. The chattering from the guests did little to calm his nerves.

“You’re lookin’ snazzy, Bucknasty,” Sam says, giving Bucky a lighthearted slap on his ass.

"You look great, Buck." Steve wraps his arms around Bucky, bringing him into a tight hug. "I'm proud of you, man." He whispers, giving Bucky a brotherly kiss on the side of his head and a pat on his back as he lets go. He thanks the both of them before turning back around, eyes scanning the crowd as he tries to grasp the idea that all of these people are there for the both of you.

Bucky couldn't take his eyes off the door as the orchestra played the familiar tune of the song you chose for your entrance. After all the practices and months spent planning for this moment, nothing could prepare him for the overwhelming feeling he got when the ushers revealed your figure standing at the opposite end of him.

His bottom lip quivered, and he began to blink rapidly, but his gaze never strayed away from you. The dress you picked was beautiful, the shade of white complementing your complexion, and the way it hugged you in all the right places made you look like a goddess in his eyes.

He hadn't realized he was crying until you cupped his damp cheek in your palm, gently wiping away his tears while your own began to well in your eyes.

"Hi," you whispered through your watery smile, and it took everything in him not to crash his lips against yours.

You lightly glide your fingers down the side of his face, beaming up at him, already knowing where his train of thought took him. Gently tapping the side of his glasses, you watch as he slowly comes back to you, the affection in his eyes creating a warmth inside you that only he can ignite.

You wrap your arms around his midsection, and he kisses your temple before resting his cheek on top of your head, holding you against his body a little tighter.

“I think I look good in white too.” You say casually, a giggle escaping the two of you.

“Oh, yeah?” He says, a crooked smirk forming on his face, and you pull away slightly. A smirk of your own playing on your lips as you lean up next to his ear.

“So much so that I could be convinced to recreate the boudoir photos I gave you.” You take his earlobe between your teeth, pulling slightly, a low growl rumbles in his chest, and you do your best to keep your thighs from clenching. Bucky’s hands cup your ass as he lifts you in his arms.

“I’m sure it won’t take much to persuade you, pretty girl.” You roll your eyes at his cockiness, causing him to chuckle as he connects your lips, blindly making his way to your bedroom.

You felt a sense of tranquility despite the chilly breeze nipping at your exposed skin as you strolled through the desolate yet animated park. The sound of leaves rustling in the wind and the soft chirping of crickets fill your ears, while you watch the beautiful glow of fireflies encircling the bushes lining the pathway.

You admire the way the clear water of the pond shimmers softly in the moonlight as you take a seat on your favorite bench. Your eyes close and the tension in your body slowly fades as you allow yourself to enjoy Mother Nature and the safe feeling she provides you.

The hairs on your arms stand up as an unsettling feeling washes over you, and the squelching of grass confirms your fears of not being alone. You open your eyes, turning your head, searching for the source that disturbed your peace. Your eyes land on a figure standing at the edge of the pond.

He must have felt your stare because the next thing you know, a pair of striking blue eyes connects with yours. He watches you curiously as you assess whether he's a threat, and a ghost of a smile crosses his lips when he notices the slight drop in your shoulders before turning his gaze back to the still water.

Your lip rolls between your teeth as you consider leaving. You stand and start to walk away, but then you hear the stranger speak.

“You don’t have to leave.” He says, and you turn around after a lengthy moment of stillness, wondering if you should trust him. You observe his relaxed stance, face devoid of malice, but it's his captivating eyes that draw you in and tug at your heartstrings.

There was a silent plea within them, a look you've grown used to seeing in the mirror over the years. Hoping for someone to fill the kind of emptiness that comes with having experienced too much, even if only for a short while.

You stand in silence as a family of ducks begins to swim by. A twinge of pain surges through your chests, as you both watch the last one struggle to keep up, feeling like Mother Nature is reminding you that you were once in similar positions.

The wind grows colder, causing you to cross your arms in an attempt to conserve body heat. He notices this and starts to rid himself of his leather jacket.

“What are you doing?” You squeak out, taking a step back.

“Relax, you’re obviously cold and I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I let you stand there shivering.” You go to protest but he’s already wrapping his jacket around your arms.

“I’m not supposed to take things from strangers.” You exclaim, although, grateful for the makeshift shield against the cool weather.

“What are you? Ten? Would you feel better if I gave you my name?” He mocks and your eyes roll.

It’s always the pretty ones that are annoying.

“Oh, so you think I’m pretty?” He says, your eyes grow wide and your mouth gapes open.

I didn't mean to say that out loud.

“Fuck off. I think you’re annoying too.” He barks out a laugh at that, startling you slightly, you turn your head away from him feeling a small grin make its way to the surface.

“The name’s James, but you can call me Bucky, or pretty if that’s what you want.” He winks and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you tell him your name.

“Gorgeous name for an even more gorgeous girl,” he pauses as his phone goes off and a deep sigh leaves his lips when he checks the notification.

“I hate to depart like this, but duty calls.” He says backing away slowly, waving his phone in his hand. You go to give him his jacket, but he starts making a disapproving noise.

“I’m not supposed to take things from strangers, Gorgeous.” A sly smirk forms on his face before he spins around, gradually disappearing from your line of sight.

You shake your head, smiling to yourself, pulling the leather around you tighter as you begin to head back to your car, wondering if you’ll ever run into him again.

[angelicblondie]

what about luke castellan x ballerina!reader but she had to give up ballet when she went to camp and he like finds her dancing in the forest one night. maybe when he’s a little busy with like backstabbing everyone but yk🤷‍♀️

(like meet me in the pale moonlight or tomorrow never came coded like ughh😩😩)

wait...i adore this. as a dancer this made my heart actually jump for joy.

every night, luke was plagued with dreams. the not good kind, more specifically.

it started a few months ago. the deep ancient voice of a titan long imprisoned would echo through his mind, urging his darkest desires of revenge and shameful need for power to the forefront of his thoughts. he was angry, angry at the gods for ignoring him and all their other children. he wanted to stop this system, he was full of bitterness.

so the voice in his head was appealing. he knew that it probably wasn't morally good to listen to the evil titan kronos, but then again, if it all ended up with the system of the gods abolished, he could live with that.

but anyways, the point is, dreams invaded the peace luke found in his unconscious state, and sometimes, it was too much. sure, he agreed with the titan, but he wasn't ready to abandon home and betray his friends, not when they were the only ones who accepted him. he couldn't do that, no matter how much to words appealed to him.

so, when the hermes cabin felt suffocating, and his mind was reeling, late at night, luke would venture off into the woods.

luke felt at comfort with the odd eeriness that filled the late night air - he didn't jump or flinch at the sounds of leaves crunching or bushes rustling - he felt at peace with the scary.

that was, until he saw footsteps in the mud.

curious, luke followed the trail, until he reached an more open area of the forest, and he leaned up against a tree, taking in the sight in front of him with pure curiosity.

there you were, wearing grey sleep shorts, a black tank top, and a pink cardigan, dancing in the middle of this forest.

you seemed to be in your own world, sneakers planted in the ground as you did some simple plies, and luke watched, transfixed by the sight. your hair was tied up by a pink ribbon, and you had the most peaceful expression on your face, not one luke had ever seen before.

you were relatively new to camp, only having arrived in the past year. you were quickly claimed by your mother, aphrodite, and gained a fast group of friends and a positive reputation. luke and you hadn't talked much - sure, he gave you your tour, and the two of you had got on quite well, but once you got claimed, he didn't have much time to talk to you, given the rapid enthusiasm of your siblings.

he didn't know you were a dancer, a good one in fact. you elegantly pranced around, your feet moving quickly yet gracefully. luke was mesmerized - he had never really seen anything like it, like you. you seemed so free - so unburdened by the struggles of being a demi god. just you, alone (kind of?), dancing - luke guessed like every other demigod, you had found your own way to feel normal in this crazy world.

eventually, your eyes caught luke, and you stumbled back, imidiatley flushing. gods, you were mortified!

"l-luke? what are you doing here?" you exclaimed indignantly.

luke remained leaned up against the tree, the corners of his lips tilting upwards. "was on a walk, happend to come across you."

you huff. "how long have you been there?"

he shrugs, standing up straight. "not long." he walks forwards a bit, closer to where you stood. "you dance?"

wasnt it obvious? you thought, but awkwardly twiddled your thumbs. "well, used to, i guess. cant really anymore, cause....you know." you say, your voice somewhat shy.

luke humed in recognition. "yeah, the whole demigod thing doesnt help. wouldnt be fun if a cyclops showed up to a rectial, huh?" he said, the dry yet teasing humour in his voice elicited a giggle from your lips. "guess not," you agree softly, your eyes twinkling happily.

luke, feeling a little bashful, rubbed the back of his neck. "uh, your really good by the way. i feel a bit bad interrupting, you were in the zone."

you bite your lip, feeling a bit embarrassed. "yeah well, theres never really time to dance anymore, so i guess whenever i cant sleep i come out here to." you look him up and down. "is that why you're out here? you cant sleep?"

luke hums. "yeah. nightmares," he simplifies, his thoughts being brought back to the reason he left his cabin.

you blow out a breath of air. "hate those," you mumble.

luke observes you. "you enjoying camp?" he asks, changing subject.

you smile a little, nodding. "yeah, its different then what i thought it would be. it actually been really great, my sibling have been super welcoming," you say, your voice sounding so genuine and enthusiastic it was hard for luke not to smile.

his lips quirk up, eyes filled with a bit of mischief. "yeah, well, camp'll do that for you."

you bite your lip, almost as if you were contemplating your next words. "y'know, i haven't seen much of you since i got here. you must be busy."

luke chuckles a bit. "why, have you been looking for me?"

his flirty words heated your cheeks and you let out a nervous laugh. "no!" yes. "i was just wondering."

luke poked his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "right, right."

you talked for a little longer, before luke escorted you back to your cabin. you thanked him with a quick kiss to the cheek before running inside, and luke walked back to his own cabin, distracted from the overbearing titan in his dreams, even if only for a little while.

[lght-roastcoffee]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ Jealous ⋆ ˚｡⋆

prompt: "Are you jealous?"┆Tuna-Tober ⊹ Day 3

pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!Reader

wordcount: 1.6K

warnings: slight language

author's note: So I've only watched the netflix show and have yet to read the books, so my knowledge of the series and universe is from that. I love Benedict though. He's the himbo rich boyfriend I've always wanted. ♡

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ 𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ 𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘢-𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴 ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹

“Why do you insist I wear these silly gowns, Mama?”

My mother huffs as she swats at my fidgeting hands, trying to find a more comfortable angle in this ridiculous corset. She straightens the damned thing back to how it was, one of the bones digging its way into the side of my waist.

“Because, darling,” she begins, smoothing my hair to the side, “tonight is your first ball back into society. I know you enjoyed your time in the country with your aunt, but it is time you find yourself a husband.”

Taking my gloved hand in hers, she places a dance card on my wrist and leads me into the Danbury estate where tonight’s social event is in full swing. 

“Now, remember.” Mama turns to face me, cradling my face in her hand. “Tonight is for you to socialize and get to know those of the Ton. If you do not find someone who has caught your attention tonight, I will still love you.” 

Mama smiles at me before taking my hand again and guiding me inside the grand ballroom. It was filled with a vast assortment of fellow debutants, bachelors, and families mingling. In the middle of the room, couples were participating in the dancing, others talking near the lemonade tables, and others hovering around the dance floor conversing with their neighbors. Off to one side, I spot the one person I was hoping to see tonight dressed in the ever-recognizable blue color nearly all the Bridgertons wear. I quickly say goodbye to Mama, who was already conversing with Lady Danbury, and rush over to my friend.

“Eloise!” I greet, catching the girl’s attention. “It is so great to see you, my dear!” 

Eloise’s face lights up in recognition, turning to hug me. “Y/N! How was the country? You will have to recount your time to me! I’m sure your aunt taught you much in your time together.” 

My mother thought it best for me to get away after my failed engagement to Lord Pedleton, a filthy man double my age of twenty years. My father thought the union would bring fortune to our families, but all it brought was harm after Lord Pedleton was found bedding his maid. The scandal it brought to both our families caused my father to break the union and my mother convinced him it was best I spend some time with my aunt.

For the past year since, my aunt has taught me everything she knows and how to be in society as a woman while enjoying the more… improper joys in life. She took me to gallery openings of her friends, invited me to parties and gatherings with equal minded artists and intellectuals who did not look down at me for being a woman. She encouraged me to begin writing and worked with me to finish my first novel, publishing under a pseudonym and watching as others enjoyed my craft. To say I thoroughly enjoyed my time away was an understatement, and Eloise knows as I’ve written to her through the year and sent her an advanced copy. 

“It was wonderful, Eloise,” I sigh, a slight smirk forming on my lips. “The things I’ve done would make you blush.

She laughs, throwing her head back and grabbing my arm. “Oh, I’m certain! But I’m sure you missed me, or more accurately,” she leans in, mischief dancing in her eyes, “you missed my brother, did you not?”

My cheeks flare as I swat the girl away in playful annoyance. “Eloise!”

“What?” Eloise raises her hands in defense. “I only speak the truth! It is not like you haven’t been smitten with him since we were children!”

“Smitten with who, exactly?”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. That’s how the saying goes, is it not?

Benedict Bridgerton struts over to the two of us from whatever corner he was hiding in, butterflies erupting in my chest at the sound of his voice. His face lit up in boyish excitement as he stepped to his sister’s side. 

“No one!” I quickly reply, glaring at my friend before she can speak any more. 

Benedict chuckles, looking between Eloise and myself. “Well, I do hope whoever has your eye is worth it.” 

I roll my eyes. “There is no one that has my eye, Ben. Eloise was just asking about my time in the country.”

“Ah, yes! How was it?” His blue eyes pierce mine as he engages in the conversation. The look he gives is filled with an emotion I haven’t seen before.

“Oh you know,” I shrug, trying to avoid the total truth, “my aunt introduced me to her friends and I learned how she lives. She is always lively company to keep.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, and that you have now rejoined us!” Benedict slightly bowed in a playful manner, pulling a laugh from myself and an eye roll from Eloise. “You’ll have to join us sometime for a game of pall mall. It hasn’t been quite the same without you there to taunt Anthony.”

I smile widely, returning his bow with a curtsy. “Of course, Mr. Bridgerton. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

The three of us stand in our corner recounting the past year together and catching up. I didn’t quite realize just how much I had missed my friends, but I am glad to be back in their company. 

While in the middle of Benedict explaining his recent work of art, I feel a tap on my shoulder, pulling the attention to the young man behind me. 

“Excuse me, miss,” he says. The man is young, not that much older than myself, with dark hair and a scrawny frame. “I apologize for interrupting, but I was wondering if I could take your next dance.”

I blush slightly out of both embarrassment and disbelief. “Oh, uh, sure.”

He takes my hand in his, filling out a line on my dance card before leading me to the dance floor. The music begins and the familiar tune fills the room. The man bows and I curtsy before getting swept into the dance. My partner is nervous, I can tell. His dance moves are clumsy and rushed, palms growing clammy. He refuses to meet my eye and is silent the entire time. 

Not very far into the dance, I glance back to where I left my two friends, Eloise silently laughing at my misery after getting tripped over and Benedict watches with a hard look on his face. I continue moving, but I cannot take my eyes off Benedict. The look on his face, eyes hard, jaw clenched, is one I had only seen when he was frustrated or angry. Why would he be angry?

Soon, the music ends and I remove myself from my partner, excusing myself back to my friends quickly. 

“Well that was quite the show!” Eloise laughed. For what felt like the hundredth time tonight, I rolled my eyes at the girl, but joined in her laughter.

“He might not be the greatest dance partner, but he wasn’t hard on the eyes, was he?” 

At my jest, I hear Benedict scoff before crossing his arms across his chest. “Please, the boy could hardly keep up.”

“Are you jealous?” I tease, stepping closer to him. Up close, I see his eyes shift across my face, shock dancing over his eyes briefly.

“Well- I-” Benedict stutters.

“I believe mama is calling me,” Eloise announces, clearly trying to leave and nearly tripping over another girl as she backs away. “I shall catch up with you later, Y/N.”

I huff before the feeling of a hand on my forearm is dragging me outside to the gardens. I struggle to keep up with Benedict’s quick strides before I stop around a secluded corner.

“Ben, what-” He interrupts me.

“What if I am?” Benedict stares at me, eyes wide and darting between mine.

“I’m sorry?”

“What if I am jealous?” He steps closer, but I stand my ground. He slowly closes the distance, taking one of my gloved hands in his.

“I would say that I have been jealous as well.” 

He leans in closer, face mere inches from mine, allowing me to see the creases and lines on his gorgeous face. His blue eyes, with flecks of green scattered like stars, dilate at my words. His other hand comes to rest on my cheek, thumb rubbing against my cheekbone. 

“You are so beautiful,” he says shakily. “You have been since I first met you.”

The breath catches in my throat, my hand slightly squeezes his still in my grasp. My eyes dart from the intensity in his eyes to his lips just briefly, but just enough for him to notice. Suddenly, the feeling of his lips on mine is the only thing I feel, my head spinning as I return his kiss. My free hand trails along his arm to rest at his shoulder, the other letting go to do the same while his finds my waist.

“Wait-” He carefully pulls away slightly, searching my eyes. “Are you sure-”

I pull him back in, arms securing themselves around his neck as he melts into my embrace. We continue before the need to breathe takes over and we part, chests rising and falling with each inhale. The sight of him, hair disheveled, lips slightly swollen, is a sight I’d like to see everyday if he’d let me. He smiles, still catching his breath before laughing quietly. His infectious personality has me joining him, my head falling to rest on his chest with his arms wrapping around my frame.

His hand tilts my head up to look at him. “I am glad you’ve returned, my love.”

[la2yn0va]

Yo! I hope that you are good and i hope that you get feixiao! Can i request some Yandere Genius Society members, seperately plus Ratio with a Male reader who is smarter than them? However he declines their invation to join them as the reader is independent and doesn't really want any special attention of any sort, as he values a lot of their private time, making him a solitary individual to the point that is adnormal

Look at that! I personally whose willing to give me they’re luck for me to get feixiao. (Lmao)

———

Herta

Herta first finds you on one of her expeditions. She finds you in a dark cave surrounded by rare crystals thought to be long lost!

She immediately takes interest in you! Why’re you alone? What’re you doing in this secluded planet? And how fuckin dare you not give her these crystals!

So, she watches you and even helps around. You’ve gained her curiosity, and now it’s up to you to satisfy her curiosity. She watched as you morph these rare crystals into an endless energy supply with some long lost alchemy

She couldn’t believe it! Not even the people in the genius society could do this! Oh and congratulations, her curiosity had been satisfied, and had evolved into interest in you!

Hell even SHE couldn’t do this! But.. that’s only because she didn’t have these crystals! If she did, she’d have made thousands of these…! Well… she might’ve needed your help…she didn’t know anything about your ancient alchemy— but she’d still do it in a scientific way!

Herta would invite you to the genius society and even to her spaceship. You’d have much more resources available, helpers, and her— “No”

Your voice declined in the same, cold and monotone voice. The two letter word shot through herta’s puppet body and shattered it completely. No? What do you mean. NO?

“I don’t like being surrounded by others. They’re a bunch of annoyances. Accepting your invitation would bring that dread into my life, along with recognition throughout the cosmos. So no. I’ll decline your invitation”

She listened to you explain yourself. Apart of her found this reasoning idiotic. How could you possibly say no?!

You’d have better accesses to resources, assistants, live in a comfortable Spacestation with the perfect temperature, WHY WOULD YOU POSSIBLY DECLINE!!?

But apart of her felt… joyful. Why? You had just rejected her! She discarded that feeling at the moment and flicked away

“Fine! Do what you want! But IM taking some of these crystals!” “Sure” you said dismissively, not even facing her. She clicked her tongue and stomped away.

A whole month later and she hasn’t forgotten about you. You and that strange feeling of happiness she got when you rejected her.

She decided to go and visit you, wanting to strangely be around you. You don’t mind, Herta isn’t annoying and she’s a genius, so she can stay.

Herta keeps one of her puppets with you, talking and helping you out while trying to understand this feeling. Eventually she does find out that she had fallen for you, HARD.

She tries to reject it, but ever since that realization, she had been much MUCH happier. She also realized the reason why she felt happy when you rejected her invitation.

Because no one would know who you are! She can have you all to HERself! It was a euphoric feeling, knowing that no one would try to take you away from her OR make you think differently!

Slowly she begins to act like a lover, treating you to delicious treats from ruan mei, worrying about your health, all that jazz.

She also sends a more adult-figured puppet to you. She knew you weren’t attracted to her due to her puppet looking 60% of what she looked like as a child. So for now, you’ll make do with this adult puppet until the REAL her comes and takes you.

Veritas Ratio

Ratio has heard of rumors of a genius that declined an invitation from the genius society. That had gotten him curious.

So, he tracked you down. Finding you in a desolate planet, in a cave that… had long lost technology from eons ago!

You didn’t look back to face him, already knowing that someone was behind you. “What’re your intentions” you said which snapped dr ratio back into reality.

He began to explain himself in 2 short paragraphs, much to your liking. You shrug and let him stay, as he wasn’t annoying or stupid.

Ratio watches and lends a helping hand. He watches as you manage to make the ancient technology functional once more.

Weeks later and ratio has grown infatuated with you. Your intelligence, your competence, your appearance.

Ratio knows that this feeling is.. dangerous. So, he leaves. Having such feelings would do nothing for him, it’ll cloud his judgement.

But, months later and it becomes completely UNBEARABLE. He simply can’t get rid of you. EVERYTHING reminds him of you.

Whenever he’s teaching, he’d see you in the corner of the room. Taking a bath, he sees you in the same tub. Reading his book, he sees the letters morph into your name!

He eventually accept that these feelings. He accepts himself and you. So he goes back, bringing your back to his place. He promised you that he wouldn’t mention you to anyone, a plus for him, and you.

Ratio begins to slowly act like a lover. His every move would be more meticulous and planned but with you? He just can’t plan out his moves.

Until he eventually confesses to you. And you accept. Ratio in your eyes was the perfect partner. Not a dumbass, overbearing, and he didn’t shout your name out to the cosmos.

Ruan Mei

She finds you on a planet that’s supposed to be abandoned. She was curious to who you are and why you were on this ‘no man’s land’ of a planet.

She followed you like a lost puppy, and watched you make life! She was surprised at your prowess in biology, looking around to see your little creations.

She decided to stay, she needed to find out more about you. Your goals, your accomplishments. Oh and she’s attracted to you… guess that also plays a role in this.

She’d try to help you with creating life, but you declined, saying that her way was ‘inefficient’ which feed her curiosity.

She also began to feel something towards you. This new and alien feeling made her want to stay with you some more.

She stays with you and as you feed her curiosity and indirectly help her understand these feelings, she finds ways to reward you.

Ruan Mei begins to get desires. The desire to touch you, feel you, hold you. It’s strange. Why is she feeling these emotions? What ARE these emotions?

After a good few months, she offers you to come with her, as she wants to study you some more AND keep you close. But you… decline…?

“Not Interested” “Huh…why’s that..? A partner ship with someone so similar to—” “I get that. But, it’ll attract attention. TOO much attention. I don’t need that”

She still didn’t understand, it’s not like she was a people person either. But then you explained how simply being associated with you, a member of the genius society, would directly attract attention.

She saw the logic but she.. couldn’t accept it. No, she wanted you to BE with her… is this… possessiveness? No. No, she just wants to study you.

She continues to push you to accept, but you decline. Over, and over, and over. It annoyed her, just come with her! The risks were nonexistent where she was going!

Eventually she’d just tie you and drag you with her. She can’t let you go, your to valuable to be left in this desolate planet. Of course, you struggle and fight back. But it’s no use.

Weeks later you finally cave in and decide to go along with Ruan mei’s plans. But you make sure to keep yourself low key.

Ruan Mei will take longer than ratio and Herta to find out she’s in love with you. All she knows is that she wants you to stay with her and only her, and that she hates when other people even look at you.

End

[inuyashaluver]

Could we get an enemies -> lovers with Leila Ouahabi ?

liar - leila ouahabi

leila ouahabi x reader

description: in which a certain left back tackles you dangerously many years ago in the youth teams, giving you an acl injury. you hate each other and nothing will change that…maybe

warnings: swearing, spanish in bold italics

a/n: indeed you can, my love! thank you and enjoy!! ❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and leila ouahabi had a very difficult relationship. to say the least, you fucking hated each other.

you and leila were always around each other and it made your blood boil. your teammates often told you that your hatred for the girl was a little ridiculous but you wouldn’t relent.

leila on the other hand only hated you because you hated her. she didn’t really understand it but your attitude and mannerisms towards her made you insufferable for her.

—

it all started in the spanish youth teams, both of you just 15 and as eager as ever. you played in the midfield while leila played left back, she’d mark you occasionally but the two of you wouldn’t really speak. you were friendly with each other, saying hello with a wave when you saw each other at training.

until it all changed. you were all doing a little mini game to asses who would playing competition games and who would be benched. you and leila were considered the best of the best and you both knew it.

you both had an immense amount of respect for each other and the way you both played, that’s why it hurt so much when the hatred grew.

leila was marking you and she managed to get the ball off you through what she thought was a safe tackle, but you screamed in pain and fell to the ground with tears brimming in your eyes. you heard it, the dreaded pop that no one ever wanted to hear. it’s your acl.

“oh my god, (y/n), i’m so sorry-” leila rushes out, you look up at her with a glare, this was your opportunity to represent your country and it was taken from you because of her.

“i don’t want to hear it, ouahabi” you scoff, tearing your gaze away from her face of shock and fear while you get carried off the pitch by alexia and mapi.

from then on, you couldn’t stand leila. everything you’d worked so hard for was taken from you in the span of two minutes. now when the girls played, you’d have to sit in the stands with your crutches.

your scowl was evident on your face everytime leila had the ball. leila had made an immense effort to talk to you, to apologise, to offer you a helping hand but you dismissed her every time, she tried to confide in alexia but she knew you too well.

you were so stubborn and stood your ground, alexia tried to convince you to at least talk to the girl but you refused. it all went downhill from there.

—

it seemed that you and leila couldn’t get rid of each other. every club you got signed to, she did. you had the same friends, the same interests also but you just couldn’t get passed the fact that she caused you an acl injury.

sure, maybe you were being a little ridiculous but it was a big opportunity for you to gain recognition for spain and you just didn’t get it.

when you both signed to barcelona in 2016, everyone could tell the tension was still the same as it had been since you were both 15. you were both 23 now and you could still cut the tension with a knife.

your teammates desperately tried to get you two to get along, but it just didn’t happen. you’d send each other snarky remarks, filthy looks, the whole works.

it was truly disappointing for your teammates to see how you two just acted like children. the grudge you held being over 8 years long.

the thing is, leila wanted to be friends with you, she always had been. as the years progressed, you blossomed, not only in football but your appearance and intelligence also. she always thought you were beautiful but you only got prettier each day.

you also thought leila was gorgeous, who wouldn’t? that’s what pissed you off more, perfect leila clouding your thoughts completely. your distaste for each other was in reality intrigue and attraction but you and leila would never admit that. ever.

—

“fucking watch it, ouahabi!” you exclaim as you get slammed to the floor during a mini game in training, “you watch it, idiot” she grumbled, rolling her eyes when you curse her under your breath.

“enough, you’re acting like children!” alexia reprimands, pointing an accusatory finger with a stern expression at both of you. you give her a tight lipped smile and move to stand up, bumping leila’s shoulder with your own.

“ale, she started it” leila groans, hitting your shoulder back with hers, “she pushed me on the ground, ale!” you frown, alexia shook her head at both of you, you were exactly the same.

“and i’ll finish it, i don’t care, all i ask is for one normal training session, you’re adults” she grits, you and leila send each other a little glare before going back to the game.

you have the ball and she manages to get it off you again and you throw your head back in frustration, “oops, sorry” she mocks, winking at you when she passes the ball away.

you give her a little shove and run back up the field and her team gets a goal, her teasing laugh rings in your ears as you watch her celebrate the goal.

—

in the change rooms that day, you can’t help but look at leila as she changes, her cubby was in your direct view. she was perfect and it made you mad in a way you couldn’t explain.

alexia raises her eyebrows in surprise watching you ogle over her and you stop immediately, heading to the showers with a frustrated sigh.

though, you notice a certain someone in the shower directly across from you, her gaze lingering on your upper back as you showered. your cheeks grow slightly pink, you felt flustered.

“fucking hell, ouahabi, do you have to follow me everywhere?” you bark, leila laughs at you mockingly,

“oh please, princesa (princess) you don’t own the showers” she retorts, you roll your eyes and mutter nonsense that made leila smile secretly. you never change.

you get out the shower and flip her off, she does the same and smiles at you sickeningly sweet, making you shake your head before going to find alexia to complain.

only to receive a lecture that you were being childish, causing leila to walk past you with a teasing grin when she heard you getting scolded.

—

you played with each other for years at barcelona until you decided you needed a change. you wanted to give the wsl so you could gain some new techniques.

you’d gotten an offer from manchester city and it was just a no brainer to accept it. you signed the contract with a heavy heart but knew it would be refreshing

if only you knew who else got a contract.

it was to your great surprise when you walked into your first training session to see a certain brunette walking in the same time as you.

“you’re fucking joking” you say simply, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath when you see leila wearing the same training kit you were. she laughs, she genuinely laughs and takes in your appearance.

“can’t get enough of me, huh, princesa (princess)?” she smirks, walking up to you full of confidence. you wanted to punch her then and there, but also kiss her but that was right at the back of your mind and should not be acknowledged.

“you wish, clearly you can’t get enough of me because you follow me everywhere” you challenged, standing on your tiptoes to look a little more intimidating and she found it really cute.

“okay, nena (baby)” she shrugs, moving to the door to open it and leaving you behind. your cheeks are burning, she’s never called you that before.

—

you both get introduced to everyone and got pulled aside by a couple of people, mentioning the undeniable tension between the two of you and you struggled to give them an answer without feeling stupid.

during training, you can’t help but look at leila, the way she moved, the way she looked perfect after a full training session. you were fucked.

leila noticed it immediately, the way your gaze would follow her every move, she loved it, purposefully giving you a little show when she’d flex her arms or lift her shorts up a little higher. she loved to see you nervous, especially because of her.

you were placed on the same team for training activities and you managed to get a goal, “buena niña (good girl)” she says simply from behind you, your legs feel like jelly and you look at her in surprise.

she smirks and sends you a cheeky wink, your body is on fire. you’re supposed to hate her, snap out of it, you thought. but it was extremely hard when she’s looking at you like that and calling you all these pet names.

—

it was your first game for manchester city and you and leila were starting. it was daunting, your first game for your brand new club when you can’t even think straight due to a certain brunette.

she’s been subtly flirting with you for weeks, sending you cheeky looks, shamelessly checking you out. you couldn’t handle it, you chose not to entertain it but that doesn’t mean you didn’t enjoy it.

leila knew you very well, she knew your mannerisms and knew you enjoyed it, so why wouldn’t she pursue it?

the game was going well, you and leila proved your success in the team and everyone was thoroughly impressed.

you were in the lead 2-0 and the game was clean up until the second half. the other team grew in frustration and began to get sloppy, in their passes, tackles, everything. and unfortunately, you were the one that had to deal with it.

you got tackled by your marker and she studded your ankle, you fall to the floor with a gasp and the whistle blows immediately. the referee shows her a yellow card and you look up in shock to see leila shoving her.

“are you fucking serious?” a shove to the girl’s chest, “are you trying to take her out because she’s better than you or something?” another shove. she’s furious, she watched as you fell to the ground and she just saw red. no one hurts her girl.

the pain subsides, you feel good to continue despite the slight sting. you walk up to leila who’s currently being held back by lauren and grab her hand in yours. you’ve never been so attracted to someone in your life.

she looks down at you in surprise, her eyes scanning your face before dropping to your ankle. “i’m fine, leila” your eyes stare into hers and she reluctantly nods, gripping your hand tightly and sending your marker a little glare as she lets you pull her away.

leila looks down at your joint hands with a hint of a smile and you drop it immediately after following her gaze.

“you’re sure you’re okay?” leila looks right into your eyes in any words to trace for any lies, you nod and give her a small smile.

“i’m okay, thank you” you say softly, she grins and squeezes your shoulder gently “anytime, princesa (princess)” she flirts, walking back to her position and leaving you stunned.

after the game, you hang around after in the change rooms as the girls leave, coincidentally leaving you both there alone. you take a deep breath and walk up to her while she’s lacing her shoes, clearly about to leave.

“i just wanted to say thank you again, for defending me” you say sheepishly, looking anywhere but at her. she chuckles and watches as you squirm nervously. she liked how she had that effect on you.

“looks like you’re getting soft on me, hermosa (beautiful)” she smirks, you huff in frustration and look at her in fake annoyance. “i can’t be nice and express my gratitude?” you argue, leila smiles at your rambling.

“of course you can, you’re different, you know? you’re much nicer” she teases, you roll your eyes at her and cross your arms over your chest as you stare down at her.

“whatever, ouahabi, i still hate you” you grit out, the biggest lie you’ve ever said.

“mentirosa (liar)” she smiles, standing up to be directly in front of you, her eyes flickering between yours. “what?” you breathe out, the proximity making you nervous.

“men-ti-ro-sa” she breaks down each syllable, each one hitting your heart. you look up to drop the eye contact and she grabs your chin gently, directing your gaze back to her eyes.

you were killing her, with your wide eyes and pink cheeks, she couldn’t ignore her feelings anymore.

your hands dumbly drop to your sides as you look up at her, her hand holding your chin moving to cradle your jaw. she takes in your appearance with a gentle smile, her gaze lingering on your lips for a second before looking back into your eyes.

“so beautiful” she starts with a smile, “beautiful but so stubborn” she wrinkles her nose teasingly and you can’t help but laugh a little.

“you’re beautiful” you say earnestly, she grins brightly at that, her teeth catching her bottom lip as she looks at you. “softie” she taunts, leaning forward slightly, your eyes fall to her lips and she takes that as her cue, she moves forward to pull you into a searing kiss.

your hands go around her neck to pull her closer and her free hand rests on your hip, her lips was so warm and weirdly familiar, it feels like you’ve kissed before.

before she deepens it, she pulls away slightly and you whine at the loss of contact. she raises her eyebrows amusingly and smiles at you, “still hate me?” she says playfully,

“no” you whisper against her lips, “not for a while” you move forward to capture her lips in another kiss, conveying every ounce of affection you had for each other.

—

she took you on a couple of dates and you got together after a very short amount of time. falling into a loving relationship full of so much love you both couldn’t believe it, eventually moving in together in manchester.

you both decided to wait to tell your national teammates, you convinced leila to do so and she could never say no to you when you kissed her and gave her your best puppy dog eyes.

when you both had national duty, your teammates, especially alexia were pleasantly surprised that you weren’t at each other’s throats as usual.

it was until the mini game when you and leila were on opposite teams that you confirmed the relationship.

she tackled you and you fell to the floor, she smiles and holds her hands out to you, “sorry, bebé (baby)” she lifts you off the floor, “it’s okay, mi amor (my love)” you lean forward and place a quick kiss on her lips and the entire team screams in shock.

oh how you wish you had your phone when you saw alexia’s face, she was gagged.

leila laughs brightly and tucks you into her side, making an effort to slide her hand from your waist to your ass before moving back up again.

the way you both looked at each other with nothing but affection had your teammates believing they were hallucinating. “what the fuck is going on?” mapi screams, you and leila giggle before she kisses your temple as you explain the situation.

you and leila couldn’t be happier, and once your teammates saw the love you had for each other, they were ecstatic.

though it did take some getting used to seeing you two making out rather than shoving each other with harsh words but it was refreshing.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - just pretend it’s you, ily claudia xx

liked by alexiaputellas and 44,232 others

leilaouahabi: she’s so cute, she thought she hated me all these years but she was in loveeee

view all comments

yourname: i’m hating you a little right now for exposing me like this

↳ leilaouahabi: i love you?

↳ yourname: i mean, i love you too i guess

↳ leilaouahabi: lindaaaaa (cutie)

alexiaputellas: i knew she always liked you, it was so obvious with her little heart eyes

↳ leilaouahabi: oh same, she’s obsessed with me

↳ yourname: hello? why are we exposing my business?

[sunlightmurdock]

Operation Apollo | 3.0 | Jake Seresin x Reader

previous chapter | epilogue | masterlist

Synopsis: After a threat is made against her life, the President’s grown up daughter gets her security tripled. Her long term detail is about to retire and needs replacing, only — she isn’t the easiest to work with. Ex-Navy and current Secret Service, Jake Seresin is devoted to being the best at everything he does. He isn’t going to let a bratty little girl cost him this job.

Warnings: age gap, power imbalance, enemies to lovers, danger and angst, manipulation, sucky parents, grief and manipulation, lying, distressing themes throughout but especially towards the end of the chapter. Graphic violence, dangerous situations, inaccurate injuries, major character death revenge, wc: 3.8k

There’s no rush to open your eyes. The ache and throb, and painful dryness of your lips brings you no respite from the way things had been before you had fallen asleep. Blacked out. Whatever you want to call it— it hadn’t helped. 

Your nose wrinkles at something offensive. Sterile and sharp smelling. Wrinkling it comes with a crunch, and sharp pain. There’s a dry feeling in your nostrils where old blood still sits. 

The smell is chemical, antiseptic. It’s so strong smelling through all of that blood and pain that it forces your eyes open. That’s worse. That hurts more. Fluorescents above you. You’re left with no choice but to squeeze them shut again— and the sudden realization that you’re not where you were before, at all.

There’s no hard, painful metal chair holding your weight. The burden of being held now falls to something much softer, so soft that it feels like you’re sinking into it like sand. It doesn’t hurt much less. 

Your legs hurt, a prickling static feeling. Your ass hurts from however long you were sitting there like that. Your back hurts, a numb and stiff feeling. You attempt to turn your head and your neck reminds you suddenly not to overlook it— a gasp tears from your mouth and makes your lungs burn almost as much as your bruised throat.

Two voices say your name at once. A chair scrapes across the ground, two sets of shoes hit the floor. People are coming. The gasp, despite your burning throat’s protests, becomes a choked whimper. 

“Don’t— Don’t touch her,” Allen. You’re dreaming again, just like you had been when you heard Jake’s voice. “Maybe we should get the doctor.” 

You try once again. The bright, blinding white stuns your sore, unadjusted eyes. You squint through it, determined as ever. Allen’s weathered face steadies and becomes more clear. His mouth hangs open, watching your bruised face start to move with recognition.

“Stay still, sweetheart, don’t move.” He’s speaking to you. He lifts his hand and reaches. His fingers extend towards you and your skin comes alive, buzzing with electricity like you’re being shocked as you tear back from his extended palm.

He winces as you cough out a choked cry, doubling over in pain from the sudden movement. 

“Doctor Owens?— Doctor Owens!” Your mother. Her voice is further away, growing in urgency. She’s barely recovered herself. She shouldn’t have come.

The monitor beside your bed beeps wildly as your heart rate kicks into another spike, and footfall echoes in the hall as people rush for your room. So many shoes hitting the ground at once that you can’t place how many of them there could possibly be.

“Don’t.” It comes out choked and horse, but loud. “Don’t touch me. Allen. Don’t— I don’t want—“

“Calm down, it’s alright,” He tries, he really tries. The footfall grows closer and you thrash as Allen’s fingers graze the curve of your shoulder. You’re just hurting yourself more. “Stop. Try to stay still, alright? — You’re — Stop. Stop!”

There’s nothing peaceful about the way you’re sent back to sleep, thrashing and crying and screaming as your IV is adjusted and filled. With everything that you’ve been through, they had warned your loved ones that recovery was going to be far from linear.

Over the course of the next two days, you wake three more times and are put back to sleep in a similar fashion. With your stitches and recovering internal injuries, they need you to be still. For now, every time you have opened your eyes has been another fight that your body just isn’t ready to take.

The fourth time comes easier than the rest. Your broken nose has started to heal by now. Under the hospital gown, your ribs are black and blue. Your lungs have stopped making that rattling sound when you inhale deeply now. Still, everything hurts.

The fluorescent lights are off. The curtains are open, the television is on. You blink heavily, your chest aches as you breathe in. 

Allen looks up at the soft rattle of your first breath in. His brows furrowed slightly, green eyes widening as he watches your eyelids blink heavily. 

“Hey…” He whispers cautiously, like he’s afraid to spook you. Your gaze settles on him, the fuzziness of the picture dissipating with each heavy blink. His face is sullen, tired. “Hey, sweetheart. It’s just me. It’s just us, you’re okay.”

Just us. The idea is more comforting than anything you’ve heard in a long time. It’s not really just the two of you, but Allen keeps that to himself. You don’t need to know the amount of security posted around this building.

You want to answer him, but your throat is dry and hoarse when you try to speak. Allen sits forwards, grabbing the underside of the chair with his good hand and pulling it closer.

“It’s alright.” His voice voice croaks. It’s not alright, but you will be. He hopes you’ll understand, when it’s time for you to learn how it all went down. 

Stubble coats his jaw and his hair is longer than he usually ever lets it grow, salt and pepper all the way through. Your fingers twitch and your arm aches as you force it slowly upward, reaching for him. Allen grazes the tips of his fingers over yours. He slides his hand slowly into your palm, and watches your eyes fill with sudden tears.

“What… happened?” You whimper.

“I’ll tell you everything once you’re feeling a little better,” He whispers, thinking back to the strict orders from your mother not to upset you. He lowers his mouth just slightly and presses his lips to your knuckles, squeezing your hand tight. “You scared the shit out of me for a second, there.”

A burning sensation behind your eyes makes you wrinkle your nose, your bottom lip trembling as your chest flares with heat. There’s real fear in his eyes. He shouldn’t even be here, he’s supposed to be retired — there’s no money in this for him.

And yet, he’s the only person at your bedside.

He’s holding your hand, and holding your gaze firmly. Letting you think it’s all okay. Your throat hurts as you swallow softly. 

There’s a news broadcast on the television to Allen’s right. The skyline buzzes, alight behind him. It plays on as he opens his mouth to speak again, he seems to have forgotten that it’s playing.

“Following the events of Thursday evening, we have received word that due to complications, a second surgery would be necessary — which is underway as we speak,” The reporter explains solemnly. She and her co-anchor are both wearing black. “The nation’s thoughts are with you, Mr. President.”

You blink at the fuzzy television screen. The picture they used of your father is from your kindergarten graduation. He’s younger there, his hair dark rather than they grey it has been growing into more recently — he’s got an arm around you, and he’s grinning proudly.

“Shit.” Allen breathes out, sitting up suddenly straight.

 The news broadcast is gone with an abrupt beat. Allen drops the remote down onto the side and scrubs a hand along his salt-and-pepper stubbled jaw, studying the ground.

Your lips flatten into a firm line, your muscles screaming as you lift your head from the pillow. 

Your gaze hardens. “Is he alive?”

Allen swallows. He gives you a small, serious nod. “Yeah. He’s upstairs, in surgery.”

The tone of his voice makes your chest ache. Serious in a way Allen rarely is.

Creeping into his office in your pyjamas. Scolding him for all the times he missed you teddy-bear tea parties. Sitting with him on the swing set in the backyard of the first house you remember. All the times you had told him you hated him as a teenager. How strongly you had meant it the last time.

Your gaze flickers back to the blank television screen, losing yourself in its sudden darkness. 

“How?” You croak out.

Allen hesitates. He presses his lips together and shakes his head softly. “I’ll explain everything when you’re feeling better.”

You turn your head, blinking heavily as you look around the sprawling hospital room. Your parents really spared no expense. Well, your mom— you guess. 

“Jake?” You ask.

“He’s here,” Allen nods solemnly. “He’s sleeping.”

And you can’t see him. It wouldn’t be good for you to see him, not until you’re feeling better.

“Is he—?”

“He’s going to be fine,” Allen sounds sure, and not in a sugar-coated way. He sounds more positive than he had about your father. “You should rest. He comes to see you in the mornings.”

Being on a ward himself, Jake’s been getting on the nurses’ nerves around here, trying to break the rules so he can wander out and see you for as long as possible. His shoulder is just about fine now, he can almost roll it back the way he used to. The doctor says an injury like his doesn’t heal that fast, but Jake has always been ahead of the curve.

He has spread his time between your room on the fourteenth floor, and where the President has been falling in and out of being classed as critical on the fifteenth with little regard for the fact he’s recovering from a surgery on his shoulder himself. With you breathing, he couldn’t care less about being hit himself.

If the bullet hadn’t caught his shoulder, it would have torn through your father’s lungs and killed him right then and there.

You shoot a quick glance toward the darkened hallway. Allen sighs.

“No.”

“I want to know what happened.” You don’t. Not really. You want to pull these foreign covers up over your head and hide and cry your eyes out, scream this whole place down. There’s no easy way to say it, and really, no one knows how you’ll handle it.

You close your eyes for a moment and wait. 

Somehow, you’re safe — you’ll be okay. Jake’s okay. Your father won’t make it through the week. You don’t remember a thing. None of it makes sense.

Jake remembers every detail. He sits awake too, not in his own room but in the hallway of the twelfth floor — as close as he can get to the operating room without being put on his ass by a serviceman. 

In the mornings that he’s able to visit you, Jake likes to talk to you. You’ve been out of the woods for a while now, everyone knows that it’s just a waiting game until you’re stable enough to be awake. Really awake. On the Monday just passed, you had opened your eyes for a few seconds and just blinked at him.

Brows drawn together all stern, your lips pursed, your eyelashes fluttering. He never thought he would be so grateful to see you frowning at him.

He has heard about the past few days. The panic and stress. He has made a strong case for himself to be allowed to be there, but the people who make the calls won’t budge. It’s just not the right time. 

That’s not true. It’s his punishment. 

It’s his punishment, for not being the one in that operating room with his chest cracked open and twelve surgeons fighting to keep his heart beating.

Having spent most of his adult life working in environments where he was the expendable one, Jake had heard a lot of stories. He had heard, most frequently, that time always slows down in the moments that matter.

Not that day. It had been a blur. He had walked into that exchange with certainty; you would be leaving there with him. 

To an extent, he had been expecting Elias to be bluffing. No man on the planet couldn’t be bought — Jake had been expecting a bidding war, and he knew your father had the right amount of money to make this go away.

It hadn’t been that at all.

His stomach twists when he thinks about how they had paraded you before them. The look on Matthew’s face as he studied the dried blood in your hair, and the fresh blood trickling from your temple.

They had hurt you to prove a point. Almost killed you, to send a message. It was too far gone to be about the money.

Jake knows that he isn’t responsible for this, he isn’t the one that put your father in this situation. He’s the only reason that those surgeons are even trying right now — if he hadn’t been there, you’d both be dead. 

He’ll never not be there again.

Jake sits there through the surgery. On the floor with his elbows on his knees, his head rested back against the wall, he sits there for six hours. It should have taken six hours.

At a little after seven, Jake is startled awake by an orderly rushing past him with a rattling metal cart. He checks his watch, which is now settled on the wrong wrist due to his sling, and clumsily pushes himself up from the ground.

“Hey, buddy,” Jake strains, sighing at the ache through his side and clearing his throat as he finds his footing. “How’s he looking?”

The twenty-something year old in scrubs whips around to look at Jake, his eyes wide with heavy blue marks under them. He looks like he’s been up even longer than Jake has.

“You’re the bodyguard.” The kid seems to realize, blinking as his rattling cart comes to a stop. He glances back in the direction of the theater, then at Jake. “Uh… I don’t know. It’s going to be a while before they can say, I guess.”

A muscle in Jake’s jaw ticks. At seven, Jake walks to your hospital room and usually starts to bug whoever is in charge of watching you until they let him visit early.

He glances towards the operating room, and then back at the orderly. This could take hours, something urgent could happen in the next few minutes. He hesitates.

Then, his phone buzzes in the pocket of his sweats. Jake takes it from his pocket and glances quickly down at the screen, with every intention of answering the kid in front of him.

She’s awake. Asking for you too. 

And Jake’s mind is made up. He can’t wait a second longer. His heart feels like it’s in his mouth by the time he’s pushing open the door to your hospital room.

He has seen the bruises fade from blue to yellow, and the IV lines and monitors all around you every day for almost a week. It does nothing to prepare him for the sight of all of those things once you’re awake and staring at him.

“Honey…” His breath catches in his throat, his brows drawing together.

The comprehensive list of your injuries is still typed up at the foot of the bed. Jake could list them off by heart, by now. Fractured eye-socket. Broken ring and middle finger on your right hand. Soft tissue damage to your left foot. Extreme bruising to the abdomen. The fracture in your rib. Every single one of those god-damned bruises.

Your right eye had been swollen shut that first day. Now, it’s wide open. The bruise is yellowed and sore looking, your eyes filled with fear. 

“Jake.” Your voice cracks and your breathing hitches.

It doesn’t matter that Allen is standing right there, sitting back against the window ledge with his arms folded over his chest. Jake couldn’t care less that your mother is watching him like a hawk. 

She has been every single time he has visited.

The security guard steps out of the way as Jake charges forwards. He takes slow, long strides. He’s trying so hard to remember what you’ve been through, and remind himself to be slow with you, but every fibre of his being wants to pull you close and never let you go again.

He stops at the side of your bed and hesitates, just for a split-second. His eyes scan across your face, searching for doubt or fear. As he makes his decision, you make yours too.

 He leans forwards swiftly as you ball your not-injured hand into his shirt, his fingers curling gently around the nape of your neck and pulling you against him.

The room falls silent. Your nose fills with his smell, your cheek presses firmly into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. His thumb strokes at your skin.

For all you care, the other people in the room could have disappeared from the second that Jake touched you. He holds you close, silently. He doesn’t know how much you know yet, whether it’s all or nothing, and he doesn’t care. For now, you’re okay, and you’re with him.

It takes a moment before you notice that he’s only got one arm around you.

Jake watches as you pull back, searching for answers and landing on the blue sling resting around his shoulder, covering his right arm.

“I’m fine,” He assures you instantly, already shaking his head as his palm moves to cup your jaw. He holds your gaze, certain. “I’m fine. It’s superficial. We’re okay.”

Superficial. Allen bites his tongue, but can’t help but disagree. That bullet tore through ligament and bone, and Jake is lucky to be recovering so well. It was far from superficial— the surgery had taken all night. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks, weak sounding and trembling. You drop your head forwards to rest against his unbandaged shoulder. “This is all my fault. This is all my fault, you shouldn’t ever have even met—“

“Stop.” Jake whispers, turning his face towards yours and trying to coax you back to look at him. He closes his eyes, pressing his mouth to your temple. “It’s over now. I’m never going to let anything happen to you again. It’s over.” 

Your mother watches. There’s a cautious, nagging feeling that tugs at her that she really doesn’t know you at all. There isn’t much that feels familiar about watching you with him — she wouldn’t have a clue how to calm you the way that he does.

“I want to go home.” You whisper, balling your hands tighter into his t-shirt. If he didn’t know any better, he’d guess that you’re trying to pull him right into your hospital bed with you.

“Yeah, a couple more days, honey,” Jake nods his head. He’s been speaking with your doctor. Once they’re certain that you’re stable enough, you’re free to go. “We’ll get you back to the house.”

“No.” You rush out, so fast that it almost makes you hiccup. It’s then that your head turns, your eyes wide and searching as you look around the room. Just as quickly, before you’ve even met the gaze of Allen or your mother, you bury your face into the crook of his neck and squeeze your eyes shut. Just quiet enough for Jake to hear, you whimper softly. “I don’t want to go back there. I want to go with you.”

Jake feels your mother’s gaze burning into his back, and knows what she must be thinking. She’s about to lose her husband and she thinks that Jake’s going to take you too.

“With me?” He murmurs, stroking a hand over your hair. Your mother has been taking pride in maintaining it — she has cared for you in so many quiet ways recently. Jake will tell you all about it, another time.

“Could — maybe we could see your mom again?” It feels ridiculous to ask, and from the second that the words leave your mouth, you’re already worrying about the kind of danger you could be putting them in.

But for Jake, it makes his heart catch with sudden relief.

“Yeah,” He hums. “Yeah, we can do that.”

He perches on the edge of your bed, draping his good arm around your shoulders. Your mother watches as you curl against him, closing your eyes and finally unballing your fists.

The room falls quiet, and stays that way. 

Allen lets the two of you have the peace and quiet. Your mother, simply, has little to say. 

An hour later, a little after eight, there’s a commotion in the hallway. Jake watches the bustle between the security guards silently, a heavy feeling settling in his gut as he braces for what is coming. 

He feels you perk up at his side as their voices grow more hushed, trying to peek over him.

He turns his face towards your hair and kisses the top of your head softly, wrapping his arm tighter around you. “It’s alright.”

He pities the poor guy who opens the door to the room, forced to meet your mother’s gaze with a sullen expression. He clears his throat weakly, hands tucked behind his back. “Ma’am.”

Your mother isn’t a dumb woman. She doesn’t need it explained to her. The doctors had explained the risks, and explained that he might not make it. Her husband is dead.

…

[mybelovedwoo]

sound of love pt.1

hongjoong x f!reader

fluff, angst, enemies to lovers, work rivalry/ wc: 4.1k

warnings: arguments, alcohol, kissing

note: this is part one of my first ever hongjoong fic. hope you all like it!! part 2 is coming soon. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics, you can apply here!

Hongjoong masterlist - Main masterlist

The music store was a haven for audiophiles and professionals alike, a labyrinth of aisles filled with the latest equipment and vintage treasures. Hongjoong navigated through the store with purpose, his mind set on one specific item: the latest model of a high-end speaker that had been receiving rave reviews. It was the final piece he needed to perfect his home studio setup.

As he approached the display where the speakers were usually showcased, his heart sank. Only one speaker remained, perched precariously on the edge of the shelf. Quickening his pace, Hongjoong reached out to grab it.

Just as his fingers brushed the box, another hand darted out and seized it. Hongjoong looked up, startled, and found himself face-to-face with a young woman. She was about his age, with determined eyes and a firm grip on the speaker.

"Excuse me, but I believe I saw this first," Hongjoong said, trying to keep his voice polite but firm.

The woman raised an eyebrow, her expression unyielding. "And I believe possession is nine-tenths of the law," she replied, clutching the speaker tighter.

Hongjoong's frustration began to bubble up. "Look, I've been searching for this model for weeks. I need it for a project that's due soon."

"So do I," she retorted, her tone equally firm. "I've been saving up for this, and I can't let it go now."

Their argument drew the attention of other shoppers, but neither seemed to care. Each was determined to walk away with the speaker, and neither was willing to back down.

"Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement," Hongjoong suggested, trying to inject some reason into the conversation. "I'll pay you double what it costs."

The woman's eyes flashed with defiance. "It's not about the money. It's about principle. I got here first, and I need this speaker just as much as you do."

Hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Okay, how about this: I really need this speaker for a client project. If you let me have it, I'll owe you one. I can help you with your project, whatever you need."

The woman seemed to consider this for a moment, her expression softening slightly. But then she shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I have my own deadlines to meet. I can't afford to wait."

Before Hongjoong could respond, she turned and walked towards the checkout counter, the speaker still firmly in her grasp. He stood there, stunned and speechless, watching her retreating figure.

"I'll never forgive her," he muttered under his breath, watching her leave the store.

-

Days turned into weeks, and the incident at the music store remained a sore spot for Hongjoong. His colleagues at the producer team had noticed his mood but thought it best not to pry. That was until the day their boss, Eden, introduced the newest member of their team.

"Everyone, meet Y/n, our new producer. She's exceptionally talented and will be a great addition to our team," Eden announced.

Hongjoong's eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Y/n stood before him, the same girl who had taken the speaker. Their eyes locked, and recognition flashed in Y/n's eyes too.

"You?" they both said in unison.

Their colleagues looked between them curiously. "Do you two know each other?" one asked.

Hongjoong quickly composed himself and shook his head. "Only in passing," he said, forcing a polite smile.

"Yeah, just in passing," Y/n echoed, mirroring his expression.

Eden, oblivious to the undercurrents, continued with the introductions. "Y/n, let me show you around," one of their teammates offered, sensing the tension between Hongjoong and Y/n.

Y/n nodded eagerly, her enthusiasm evident as she followed her colleague around the studio. She marveled at the advanced equipment, asked insightful questions about ongoing projects, and eagerly absorbed every detail of her new workspace.

As they passed the recording booths, the sound mixers, and the editing bays, Y/n couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. This was where she belonged, and she was determined to make a mark. She took mental notes of everything, from the placement of the soundproof panels to the state-of-the-art software they used.

Meanwhile, Hongjoong watched from a distance, occasionally catching glimpses of Y/n's genuine excitement. Despite his initial resolve to maintain distance and rivalry, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of curiosity about the person behind the fierce determination he had encountered at the music store.

Finally, they arrived at the main studio room where the team often collaborated. It was a spacious area filled with instruments, computers, and a massive mixing console.

"And this is where the magic happens," their colleague said with a smile. "You'll spend a lot of time here."

Y/n's eyes sparkled with excitement. "This is amazing. I can't wait to get started."

Eden stepped forward, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "Alright, team, let's get back to work. Y/n, feel free to dive in and ask for help if you need anything."

As the team dispersed, Y/n found her designated workstation and began setting up her equipment. She was eager to prove herself, not just to her new colleagues but also to herself.

-

In the following week, Hongjoong and Y/n navigated their roles within the producer team with a mixture of competition and cooperation. While they maintained a professional demeanor during work hours, their interactions were often laced with subtle challenges and occasional disagreements.

"Y/n, I think this beat would sound better with a different tempo," Hongjoong suggested during one of their collaborative sessions.

Y/n frowned slightly, considering his suggestion. "I appreciate your input, but I think the current tempo captures the mood we're going for," she replied, her voice firm but not confrontational.

Their colleagues observed their dynamic with bemusement, unsure whether to intervene or let the rivalry play out naturally. Despite their differences, Hongjoong and Y/n's combined efforts yielded impressive results, garnering praise from clients and industry professionals alike.

It had been over a week since Y/n started working with the team, and she was gradually finding her rhythm. As the team gathered for their daily briefing, the door swung open, and Maddox, one of the senior producers, walked in.

"Maddox! Welcome back!" Eden greeted him warmly. "Maddox, meet Y/n, our newest producer. She joined us while you were away."

Maddox's face lit up when he saw Y/n. "Y/n! It's great to see you here," he said, pulling her into a hug.

Y/n beamed and hugged him back. "Maddox, I've missed you!"

Their colleagues watched the scene with a mix of surprise and curiosity. Most of them assumed this was the first time Y/n and Maddox were meeting, given that Maddox had been away when Y/n started. Hongjoong, however, found himself feeling puzzled and somewhat uneasy at their close interaction.

"You two seem pretty close," one of their colleagues commented, raising an eyebrow.

Maddox smiled, not missing a beat. "Yeah, Y/n's incredibly talented. It's great to have her on the team."

The team accepted this explanation without further questions, assuming that Maddox and Y/n had simply hit it off quickly. Hongjoong, on the other hand, couldn't shake off the feeling that there was more to their relationship than met the eye.

As the day went on, Hongjoong found himself watching Y/n and Maddox more closely. They worked together seamlessly, finishing each other's sentences and sharing inside jokes that no one else seemed to get. It was clear they had a strong connection, and Hongjoong's curiosity only grew.

During a break, Hongjoong approached Y/n, trying to appear casual. "So, you and Maddox seem pretty close," he remarked.

Y/n looked up from her notes, her expression neutral. "Yeah, Maddox has been really supportive. It's nice to have someone like him around."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, not entirely satisfied with her answer. "You know, it's just... interesting how quickly you two have bonded."

Y/n smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Music brings people together, I guess."

Hongjoong didn't leave it at that. His frustration bubbled up, unable to hold back any longer. "Come on, Y/n. Don't give me that. There's clearly more going on here. People don't just bond like that overnight."

Y/n's eyes flashed with annoyance. "And why does it matter so much to you, Hongjoong? Why can't you just accept that we're friends?"

"Because," he snapped, "you're hiding something. It's obvious. And I don't like working with someone who isn't being honest with the team."

Y/n bristled at his accusation. "I am being honest. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's not real."

Hongjoong took a step closer, lowering his voice. "Then explain it to me. What are you hiding?"

Y/n stood her ground, meeting his gaze head-on. "That's none of your business, Hongjoong. You don't get to demand answers from me just because you're suspicious."

Their argument caught the attention of their colleagues, who glanced over with concern. Sensing the rising tension, Maddox intervened, stepping between them.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Maddox asked, looking from Y/n to Hongjoong.

Hongjoong took a deep breath, trying to rein in his temper. "Nothing. Just a difference of opinion."

Maddox looked at Y/n, who nodded, her expression still tight with anger. "It's fine, Maddox. Just a misunderstanding."

Maddox didn't seem entirely convinced but decided to let it drop for now. "Alright. Let's focus on the work, okay?"

Y/n and Hongjoong exchanged one last glare before turning back to their respective tasks, the air between them still charged with unresolved tension.

-

The next day, the atmosphere in the studio was tense. Y/n and Hongjoong did their best to avoid each other, focusing intently on their own projects. Their colleagues noticed the shift, but no one said anything, hoping the tension would resolve itself.

However, Eden had other plans. Late in the morning, he called for a meeting in the main conference room. As everyone gathered, Eden addressed the team with a determined look.

"Alright, we have a new project that requires immediate attention," Eden began. "It's a high-profile client, and they want something fresh and innovative. Y/n and Hongjoong, I want you two to lead this project together."

Y/n and Hongjoong exchanged glances, both clearly unhappy with the arrangement but unable to voice their objections.

Eden continued, "I know you two have your differences, but your combined talents can produce something incredible. This is an important opportunity for both of you to show what you can do."

Hongjoong forced a tight smile. "Of course, Eden. We'll make it work."

Y/n nodded, her expression equally strained. "Absolutely. We'll get it done."

Eden clapped his hands, oblivious to the underlying tension. "Great! The client is coming in tomorrow for a briefing. I expect you two to be prepared with some initial ideas."

After the meeting, Y/n and Hongjoong stayed behind, facing each other awkwardly.

"We need to put aside whatever this is and focus on the project," Y/n said firmly.

Hongjoong nodded, though his frustration was evident. "Agreed. Let's just get through this."

They spent the rest of the day brainstorming ideas, their interactions polite but distant. The creative process, usually filled with excitement and energy, felt forced and mechanical. As the hours passed, the studio gradually emptied until it was just the two of them left.

Y/n glanced at the clock, then at Hongjoong. "It's getting really late. Maybe we should wrap it up for today and get some sleep. We can start fresh tomorrow."

Hongjoong looked up, irritation flashing in his eyes. "Are you serious? We have a lot of work to do, and you're talking about going home to sleep?"

Y/n frowned, taken aback by his tone. "It's not that I don't take this seriously. I just think we'd be more productive if we weren't exhausted."

Hongjoong stood up, pacing the room. "We don't have the luxury of time, Y/n. This is a high-profile client, and we need to deliver something exceptional. If that means staying here overnight, then so be it."

Y/n sighed, rubbing her temples. "I get that, but pushing ourselves to the brink isn't going to help. We need rest to think clearly."

Hongjoong stopped and faced her, his expression hard. "Maybe you can afford to take it easy, but I can't. This project is too important. If you're not willing to put in the effort, you can leave. I'll handle it myself."

Without waiting for her response, Hongjoong turned and walked out of the room, needing to clear his head. He stepped outside into the cool night air, taking deep breaths to calm his racing thoughts. He felt a mix of frustration and guilt, wondering if he had been too harsh.

After a few minutes, he decided to head back in, determined to push through the night. When he returned to the studio, he found Y/n's workstation empty. His heart sank, and anger flared up again. She really left, he thought bitterly. Just great.

He sat down and tried to focus on the project, but his mind kept drifting back to Y/n. Half an hour later, just as he was about to give up on any progress for the night, the door opened, and Y/n walked in carrying a bag of take-out food.

"I thought we might need some fuel if we're going to work all night," she said, setting the bag down and pulling out containers.

Hongjoong stared at her in surprise. "You... you went to get food?"

Y/n nodded, handing him a container. "Yeah. I figured we'd both be more productive if we had something to eat."

Hongjoong felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He had jumped to conclusions, assuming she had abandoned the project. "I'm sorry, Y/n. I shouldn't have doubted you."

Y/n shrugged, offering a small smile. "It's okay. We're both under a lot of stress. Let's just focus on getting this done."

They sat down and started eating, the tension between them easing slightly. As they ate, they talked about the project, bouncing ideas off each other and finding new energy in their collaboration.

Hongjoong found himself increasingly impressed by Y/n's dedication and creativity. He realized that despite their differences, they could achieve great things together. And for the first time since their argument, he felt a glimmer of hope that they might actually make this partnership work.

As the night wore on, Y/n and Hongjoong found a rhythm in their work. They shared ideas, critiqued each other's suggestions, and slowly but surely, the project began to take shape. The food had revitalized them, and the earlier animosity was replaced by a shared sense of purpose.

Around 3 AM, Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, stretching his tired muscles. "I think we have a solid draft."

Y/n looked over the screen, nodding. "Yeah, it's good. We'll need to refine it, but it's a strong foundation."

There was a brief moment of silence, the intensity of the work finally giving way to exhaustion. Y/n glanced at Hongjoong, her voice softer. "You really care about this project, don't you?"

Hongjoong sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I do. It's not just about the work. It's about proving something to myself, to everyone."

Y/n nodded slowly. "I get that. I care too. Maybe we just have different ways of showing it."

Hongjoong looked at her, his expression less guarded than before. "Maybe you're right. Sorry for snapping at you earlier."

Y/n offered a small smile. "It's okay. We're both under a lot of pressure. Let's just focus on getting this done."

Hongjoong nodded, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Agreed. Let's make this the best project we've ever done."

-

The next morning, the team reconvened at the studio. Hongjoong arrived early, as usual, feeling the weight of the long night but also a sense of accomplishment. He was surprised to see Maddox and Y/n arriving together, stepping out of the same car.

Maddox waved at Hongjoong as they walked towards the entrance. "Morning, Hongjoong! How's it going?"

Hongjoong forced a smile, trying to mask his curiosity. "Morning. It's going well. You two came together?"

Y/n nodded, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Yeah, Maddox offered me a ride. We live close to each other."

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, a mix of confusion and suspicion swirling in his mind. "I see. Well, it's good to be early. We have a lot to cover today."

As they entered the studio, Hongjoong couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease. He had always been good at reading people, and the ease between Y/n and Maddox seemed more than just friendly. He couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something he was missing.

They gathered in the conference room for a quick briefing with Eden. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation as they prepared to present their progress to the client. Despite the previous night's tension, Hongjoong and Y/n managed to put forth a united front, their collaboration bearing the fruits of their hard work.

Eden glanced over their work, nodding approvingly. "This is excellent. You two did a great job. The client is going to love it."

Y/n and Hongjoong exchanged a look, both relieved and satisfied. It was clear that despite their personal differences, their professional synergy was undeniable. After the meeting, everyone returned to their individual tasks, the studio buzzing with renewed energy and optimism.

The afternoon passed quickly as they immersed themselves in their work. Each person focused on their projects, the usual hum of creativity filling the room. Around mid-afternoon, Eden called for everyone's attention with a broad smile on his face.

"I've got some fantastic news, team," Eden announced, his excitement palpable. "The client loved the music you created, Y/n and Hongjoong. In fact, they were so impressed that they've asked us to produce an entire album for them!"

A chorus of cheers and applause erupted in the room. Y/n and Hongjoong exchanged another look, this time filled with mutual pride and accomplishment. The tension between them seemed to dissolve in the face of their shared success.

"That's incredible!" Y/n said, beaming. "I'm so glad they liked it."

"Me too," Hongjoong admitted, a genuine smile lighting up his face. "This is a huge opportunity for all of us."

One of their colleagues clapped his hands together. "This calls for a celebration! How about we all go out tonight, have some drinks, and toast to our success?"

The suggestion was met with enthusiastic agreement from everyone. The idea of unwinding and celebrating their hard work was appealing to the whole team.

"Count me in," Maddox said, grinning. "We all deserve a break after the week we've had."

"Absolutely," Eden agreed. "Let's meet at that new bar downtown around eight. Drinks are on me."

The rest of the day flew by in a flurry of excitement and productivity. As evening approached, everyone began to wrap up their work and prepare for the night out. Y/n and Hongjoong, despite their previous tensions, found themselves exchanging smiles and light-hearted comments, the success of their project serving as a bridge between them.

-

By eight o'clock, the team gathered at the trendy new bar downtown. The atmosphere was lively, with music playing and patrons enjoying their evening. The team found a large table and settled in, the mood festive and relaxed.

Eden raised his glass, calling for a toast. "To Y/n and Hongjoong, for their incredible work and for bringing us this amazing opportunity. And to the rest of the team, for always giving their best. Here's to more successes and good times ahead!"

"Cheers!" everyone echoed, clinking their glasses together.

As the night went on, the initial formality gave way to laughter and camaraderie. Stories were shared, and everyone relaxed, enjoying the rare opportunity to unwind together.

Hongjoong found himself next to Y/n, and he took a moment to acknowledge their recent journey. "You know, despite everything, I'm glad we managed to pull this off."

Y/n smiled, taking a sip of her drink. "Me too. I think we proved that we make a pretty good team, even if we don't always see eye to eye."

"Agreed," Hongjoong said, his tone sincere. "Maybe this project will be the start of something good."

Y/n nodded, feeling a sense of hope. "Let's make this album even better than the single. We can really do something special."

As the evening progressed, Hongjoong noticed Maddox and Y/n sharing a quiet conversation and laughing together. The ease between them was unmistakable, and Hongjoong's earlier suspicions resurfaced, but he pushed them aside. Tonight was about celebration, not secrets.

The night stretched on, filled with laughter, music, and a shared sense of achievement. The barriers between Y/n and Hongjoong continued to lower, replaced by a budding respect and the beginnings of a friendship. As the drinks kept flowing, the team grew increasingly merry. By the end of the night, most of them were thoroughly drunk, including Y/n. Hongjoong, however, had only gotten a little tipsy, careful not to lose control.

Eden, who was also quite inebriated, noticed Y/n struggling to stay upright as she laughed at something Maddox said. He turned to Hongjoong, his voice slurring slightly. "Hongjoong, can you make sure Y/n gets home safely? It's dangerous for her to go alone."

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, momentarily caught off guard. "Why me?"

Eden gave him a lopsided grin. "Because you're the most sober of them all, my friend. And someone has to make sure she's safe."

Realizing there was no point in arguing, Hongjoong nodded. "Alright, I'll take her."

Hongjoong gently helped Y/n to her feet, supporting her as they made their way out of the bar. Y/n leaned heavily on him, her steps unsteady.

"Where do you live?" Hongjoong asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.

Y/n blinked a few times, trying to focus. "Not far... just a few blocks from here."

Hongjoong nodded, guiding her down the street. The cool night air helped clear his head a bit more, and he kept a firm grip on Y/n, making sure she didn't stumble.

As they walked, Y/n glanced up at him, her eyes slightly glazed. "You know, Hongjoong, you're not so bad."

Hongjoong chuckled softly. "Thanks, Y/n. You're not so bad yourself."

She giggled, the sound light and carefree. "I mean it. I know we've had our... differences, but tonight was fun."

"Yeah, it was," Hongjoong agreed. "And we make a good team. We just need to remember that."

They reached Y/n's apartment building, and Hongjoong helped her up the steps. She fumbled for her keys, eventually finding them and managing to unlock the door. Before she stepped inside, she turned to Hongjoong, her expression more serious than he'd seen all night.

"Thank you for walking me home," she said softly.

"Anytime," Hongjoong replied, meaning it. "Get some rest. We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

Y/n smiled, a genuine warmth in her eyes. "Goodnight, Hongjoong."

"Goodnight, Y/n."

She closed the door behind her, and Hongjoong stood there for a moment, feeling a strange sense of fulfillment. The night had taken an unexpected turn, but it had also brought a new layer of understanding between them.

As he walked back to his own place, he couldn't help but feel that their rivalry had given way to something far more valuable: a foundation for a true partnership, and perhaps even a friendship. And with that thought, he looked forward to what they could achieve together.

-

The next day, Hongjoong walked into the studio, still feeling the lingering effects of the late night celebration. He greeted his colleagues with a nod, making his way to his workstation. As he approached his desk, he noticed a neatly wrapped present sitting in the center of it.

Curious, Hongjoong picked up the gift, inspecting the wrapping. It was simple but elegant, with a small card attached. He opened the card first, reading the handwritten note inside:

"For your hard work. I hope you like it!"

His eyes widened in surprise. The handwriting was unmistakable—he immediately knew it was from Y/n. With growing anticipation, he carefully unwrapped the gift. Inside was the very speaker they had argued over at the music store.

Hongjoong stared at the speaker, a mix of emotions swirling inside him. He couldn't believe she had gone out of her way to get it for him. He picked up the card again, reading the note once more, a smile slowly spreading across his face. Determined to express his gratitude, he decided to find Y/n immediately.

He headed to the section of the studio where Y/n usually worked. As he approached, he saw her through the glass window, deeply engrossed in her work with her headphones on. Hongjoong took a moment to steady his nerves before stepping inside.

Y/n was so focused on her project that she didn't notice Hongjoong until he was standing right next to her. Sensing his presence, she took off her headphones and looked at him curiously.

"What's this?" Hongjoong asked, holding up the card.

Y/n's eyes widened, a flicker of worry crossing her face. She stood up, her hands clasped nervously. "I'm sorry, I thought you would be happy about it."

Before she could say more, Hongjoong closed the distance between them and kissed her, the action sudden and impulsive. Y/n's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she leaned into the kiss, her hands finding their way to his shoulders.

Just as they were lost in the moment, the door to the studio swung open, and Maddox walked in. He froze, staring at them in shock and anger. "What are you doing with my sister???" he demanded, his voice rising in disbelief.

Y/n and Hongjoong broke apart, both of them turning to face Maddox. Y/n looked horrified, while Hongjoong appeared completely taken aback.

"Your sister?" Hongjoong repeated, his mind struggling to process the information.

-

(part 2 coming soon!)

[wlw-imagines]

Behind The Curtain - Amelia Shepherd/Reader (Grey’s Anatomy)

request: Could you do a oneshot with Amelia Shepard where they both work at the hospital and are secretly dating. One day Arizona or Meredith or somebody catches them making out and then teases them about it the rest of the day. You're writing is fantastic! Thanks for reading this :) - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing

Keeping your relationship with Amelia secret had been pretty easy for the two of you.

Whilst you were rarely seen venturing further than paediatrics ward, Amelia was similarly tied down to Neuro, being a neurosurgeon, and to whatever various tasks kept her occupied elsewhere in the hospital. Therefore there was never any need to cover anything up about your long-term relationship.

It had begun as a late night fling, early on in your careers at Seattle Grace - you had both finished a shift at the same time and walked into each other as you were buying a coffee.

She smiled sleepily, her eyes bleary as she gripped the coffee cup, “Y/L/N, right?”

You nodded at the correct name, and also in recognition of the woman in front of you, “Amelia.”

“Coffee? At this late hour?” She smirked, a twinkle growing in her eyes.

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “I could say the same for you.”

Amelia shrugged and started walking at your side, “I won’t get any sleep any time soon anway, what’s your excuse?” She raised an eyebrow as the two of your left the cafeteria.

“Same.” You shrugged, before turning back to face her and fully reigstering the look in her eyes. You took a slight risk, hoping it was the correct one, “Want to come back to mine? We can talk about how shit life is and commiserate together?”

“I’m less of a talker, more of a do-er.” She caught your expression of a raised eyebrow and shook her head, “Not like that!”

“Hey, we can do whatever you want to do.” You laughed, “I can make us more coffee at home? Stronger coffee.”

“Okay. I’d like that.”

You were fortunate really because whenever you were around one another your love was probably too obvious and your relationship was something that you felt didn't need to be known by everyone yet. So, the longer it could be kept a secret, the better. There would be no complaints of favouritism in surgery and no teasing during late night shifts, it was just straight up easier.

And while normally the distance between your areas of expertise was in your favour, sometimes, on the rare occasion, the paediatrics and brain surgery teams would collaborate. It was at time like these that it was much more difficult to keep your hands off each other.

The day had started with Arizona rushing towards you, a stressed look on her face reserved for only the worst cases. "We have a nine year old girl coming in with serious unspecified head injuries. I've paged Lady Shepherd so she is on her way up, you'll be following the case with me." She rushed out, no time to pause.

"Wait, I... Lady Sheph- Amelia is being given the case?" You asked, your heart hammering slightly once you heard the name.

"She is our in-house neurosurgeon so, yes. She is. Do you have a problem with that Y/L/N?" The woman quirked an eyebrow up at you, giving you one of her looks that you could hardly ever interpret so you just stuttered away.

"N-no, not at all. That's fine, it's great. Good for her." You stumbled through some random words that didn't even really make sense in the situation before you were interrupted by your girlfriend walking through the doors.

There was just something about her in authority and her scrubs that turned you on and that was why you were better off separated. So you found yourself relatively lucky to not be included in the team that went into surgery.

You avoided the viewing platform. But even when you were stuck outside doing paperwork you still found yourself too distracted, your mind wandering off too many times, thinking of what you would do to the woman once you were in the safety of your own apartment. 

It was going to be a long day.

You had waited until the surgery was finished until you snuck into a call room. Amelia had been walking past when you attempted to (subtly) pull her into the  room with you. You immediately closed the door and pinned her up against it, making an attempt to lock the door before Amelia flipped the tables and pushed you against the wall. The look in her eyes immediately brought back memories of how your relationship had initially begun.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked, pulling back with a confused look on her face.

Leaning forward, you kissed her nose and hummed slightly, "I love you, is all." 

The smile remained on your face as you leant slowly in. Your lips connected and the kiss only became more passionate as the pent up frustration of long, hard days and not seeing each other as much as you needed to built up. You weren't even in there to hook up like you always used to, you just need to be close and be together.(Although, shirts were beginning to be unbuttoned...)

You were vaguely aware of footsteps approaching but you were too caught up with Amelia and had just assumed they had passed. That was until you heard a small gasp coming from the doorway.

Amelia and you pulled away from each other as quickly as you could, your girlfriend stumbling back and almost falling over had it not been for you grabbing her waist and wrapping your arms around her to prevent the fall.

Once she was secure you turned your head back to whoever had interrupted with a smile that was as innocent as you could make it before clearing your throat, "Arizona... Hey."

"Well, I was not expecting this...” A small grin spread across her lips and she let out a gleeful laugh, “Actually, you know what I kind of was. Y/N's been acting strange." Arizona smiled with an evil twinkle in her eye, "I can't believe you guys haven't told me!" You quickly shushed her before pulling her into the call room and closing the door behind her. "I love you guys but at least buy me dinner first..." She joked, earning a light slap on the arm from you.

"What are you doing?" You asked, running your hand through your hair and starting to fidget.

Arizona paused, "I was going to take a nap... in the call room. Because that's what-"

Your girlfriend looked at her watch and shrugged at you, "Look at the time, I've got to go." Amelia, spoke up from the corner, sliding out the door without another word.

You went to walk after her but turned to Arizona who was still standing there with a smile on her face, "You scared my girlfriend away." You pouted.

Arizona just wrapped her arms around you and rocked you side to side, "I'm so proud of you!"

"Shut up."

"But you're both so cute."

"Shut up!" You pushed her slightly, laughing.

"And you've finally found someo-"

You gave her one last look before opening the door, "Okay, I'm leaving now!" You said, walking out.

"Love you." She yelled after your disappearing body.

"Love you too." You yelled back before adding on, "And don't you dare tell anyone!”

--------------------------------

"Y/N," You jokingly rolled your eyes when confronted with Arizona leaning on the nurse desk with a big smile on her face. You prepared yourself for the teasing that was inevitably about to come and pretended to be more interested in the paperwork in front of you. The teasing over the past week had been neverending, "Listen, I know I've been making fun of you and your girlfriend all day and I just wanted to let you know that I support you 100%. I promise that I won't let anyone know of your little secret, okay?" You visibly relaxed and looked back up at her.

You smiled, putting your hand over hers, "You know, you didn't need to tell me that. I trusted you from the beginning but thank you all the same."

She nodded and went to leave before turning back to you, "By the way, I've given your girlfriend a little gift - you may want to go up and say hi. She's in the nursery."

Confused, you frowned slightly but didn't question it as you nodded and made your way to the other side of the ward, where all the newborns are kept.

You stepped in front of the window looking into the nursery and felt your heart skip a beat to see Amelia cradling one of the babies. She caught your eye and her eyes twinkled slightly as she looked down at the baby in her arms. You sighed blissfully and stepped into the room.

"Are you terrorizing the children?" You asked, looking around at the other 3 cribs, each holding a tiny, delicate baby. You stepped closer to Amelia, putting an arm around her lower back and looking down at the baby.

"They're our kids without any home, or parents." Amelia whispered, rocking the baby slightly before shifting the pink blanket to cover her head and little waving hand that had fallen out when she was trying to reach up to your girlfriend. "I kind of thought you were just going to end the sentence at, 'they're our kids' and then you would have a lot of explaining to do."

"Surprise!" She sarcastically cheered before one last rock of the baby. Between the two of you, you managed to safely get her back into her cot and tucked up in her blanket before sneaking out the door.

You both stood in each other's embrace for a while, just soaking in each other's love and company.

"Y'know, maybe it's good that people know about us - especially Arizona." You mumble, longingly staring at the bundles left in the nursery, "if it gets us perks like getting to cuddle cute babies during work then I'm so up for coming out to everyone." You joked.

Amelia just nodded, "Me too." You looked up, slightly surprised as it hadn't really been something you had discussed yet. "Hey, you want to stay at mine and get chinese tonight?"

"Do you have the house to yourself?" You asked with surprise, since these are the only times you get to stay round and even then it is like a military mission. "No, it's a full house tonight. I'm introducing you to them."

"Babe, you realise I know your friends and they know me. We're part of the same friendship group."

"I know, but I get to introduce you as my girlfriend." She grinned and began walking back down the corridor, back to work before yelling over her shoulder, "Plus I get to show them pictures of our children!"

[ilikethisacompletelynormalamount]

Andrew Scott, Vogue: April 2024.

by Zing Tsjeng, Photos by Annie Leibovitz

Ripley, in other words, is the hero of the tale. “That’s why he fascinates so many,” says Scott. “There’s been so many iterations of him. I think it’s because people root for him.” Actors like Alain Delon and Dennis Hopper have tried the role; Matt Damon played him as an obsequious, lower-class naïf; John Malkovich, as a slimy, camp killer. Scott’s Ripley is different; a watchful loner escaping rodent-infested poverty, more at home among art than he is around people. Musician and actor Johnny Flynn plays his first victim—the monied Dickie Greenleaf—and Dakota Fanning is Dickie’s suspicious ex-girlfriend. “I find Tom quite vulnerable,” Scott tells me. “I don’t think he’s necessarily lonely, but I certainly think he’s solitary…. He seems to me by his nature that he just can’t fit in. He’s trying to survive.”

In Ripley, Zaillian extracts maximum Hitchcockian dread from every creaky footstep. But most sinister of all is Scott’s face, which exhibits a sharklike steeliness throughout. It’s a performance that exudes queasy force. Is Ripley a scammer, a psychopath, or both? “There’s so many things lurking beneath him that I’ve been very reluctant to diagnose him with anything. I never thought of him as a sociopath or murderous,” Scott declares. “It’s up to everybody else to characterize him or call him whatever they want.”

As we weave through tourists near the Tower of London, barely anybody notices Scott, save for a faint glimmer of recognition among mainly young women. He seems to draw reassurance from it. “I don’t like to think about it too much, if I’m honest,” he muses of fame. “I find it a little bit, er, frightening.” He is known but not blockbuster-recognizable, although he is in the upcoming Back in Action with Cameron Diaz and Jamie Foxx. What stunts did he do? “I can’t give that away, I’m afraid, or somebody from Netflix will come and shoot me in the head.”

What’s been on Scott’s mind the most hasn’t been acting at all, in fact, but art. As a 17-year-old, he was offered his first movie role on the same day he was given a scholarship to study painting. He chose acting, but has recently been thinking about Oliver Burkeman’s philosophical self-help tract from 2021, Four Thousand Weeks, which makes the case for focusing on the five things you truly want to accomplish. “For me at the moment, it’s like, What do you want to do? What do you want to say?”

He scrolls through his phone to show me his work. There’s a watercolor of a couple arguing in a restaurant in rich reds and greens, line drawings of friends and people on the beach, and two self-portraits. “It’s a bit weird,” he acknowledges of his depiction of himself, all bulbous forehead and Pan-like tufts of hair. His brisk, nervy lines are reminiscent of Egon Schiele or Francis Bacon, who turns out to be one of his favorite painters. “Well, God, I’ll take that,” he mutters at the comparison. He would like someday to go to art school. “I don’t ever regret it,” he says of acting. “But I suppose you just get to a stage where you think, What else? That’s one of the big painful things in life for me, where you can’t quite live all the lives.” As he gets older, he feels the tug toward revisiting old working relationships, including with Waller-Bridge: “We’ve definitely got things cooking,” he smiles. “I’d love to work with her again. She’s just a singular, wonderful person.” For her part, Waller-Bridge says: “I’d love to see him do a fully unhinged slapstick comedy character. Someone who is outraged at everything, all of the time.”

As we round the pavement and the Tate Modern looms back into sight, he recalls a poster he received in 2017—a monstrously large graphic that detailed every week in a human life span. “It’s your entire life if you live to 80—you have to fill in all the bits that you’ve already lived,” he remembers in awe, “a visually terrifying gift.” What did he do with it? “I didn’t hold on to it for too long.” Easy come, easy go: We finally finish our loop around the Thames and, as Scott disappears back into the throng, anonymous just the way he likes it, it occurs to me that the actor has many lives to live yet. ■

[hoejosatoru]

Off Limits

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Bonten!Ran Haitani

Summary: Your older brother, Mikey, forbids any of his subordinates from putting their hands on you. Naturally, Ran takes that as a challenge.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Alcohol mentioned, drugging mentioned (reader not drugged), oral (fem! receiving), fingering, raw sex, cream pie, Mikey is an over protective brother, guns, pet names like angel, sugar, pretty girl, etc I think that's it? kind of an abrupt ending bc I'm silly like that

It was a boring day for Ran Haitani. Well, if you consider hunting rival gang members down and beating information out of them dull like Ran does. As much as he loves his job, the thrill of seeing another man's fear, feeling his fist connect with deadly precision, sometimes it was a bit monotonous. All work and no play makes Ran Haitani a dull boy and such.

He thought he'd fix this with a trip to Bonten's strip - no gentlemen's club. He could hear Koko yelling at him in his head for, 'lessening the value of their asset' by not using some euphemism. Ran didn't think it mattered much. Men just wanted to see women take their clothes off; they didn't care what it was called.

Usually going to the gentlemen's club made him feel better, but even this was feeling dull to him today. He's already fucked all the girls he had an interest in. Some of them multiple times. And they were great, sure, but he nothing that could spark his interest now. He needed fresh blood, so to speak.

Then you walked in. Ran had been idly drumming his fingers along the dark mahogany of the bar top, half listening to Rindou and Sanzu drone on about the days' events. His fingers halted the moment he saw you, straightening up and zeroing in. He'd never seen you before, he would have remember that face... that body. Were you a new hire? He wondered... No it couldn't be. The execs ran background checks on all the women in the club, which fell to Ran or his brother to do. No way you slipped through the cracks.

A prickle of anger flared through him as he wondered if you were dating one of the execs. He couldn't image one of the guys dating a woman like you and not bragging about it though. Maybe a patron's girl? You seemed to be looking for someone. Ran smiled. He could be a helpful guy, take you to your boyfriend... and then put a hit out on him. He didn't play fair, but he always played for keeps.

"Shit, who's that?" Rindou piped up behind him. Ran stifled a wave of possessiveness rushing through him. If he made it too obvious how bad he wanted you, this would become a contest he didn't want. At least Rindou's response to you confirmed that he didn't know you, so you couldn't be a dancer.

"Dunno," Ran shrugged, "But looks like she could use some help."

Sanzu rolled his eyes. "Since when do you care about helping random women."

Ran knocked back the rest of the whisky in his glass. "What can I say, I am a feminist." Sanzu and Rindou groaned at him, but his back was already to them making a beeline towards you. The closer he got, the more he was taken by you. You were so beautiful, but you also looked more nervous that he originally appraised. Maybe you were truly just lost. Wrong place, right time - for Ran at least.

"Hi," Ran said, mustering all the calmness in his voice he could manage. You looked him up and down, your pulse quickening - and not because you were nervous. The man standing before you was one of the finest you'd ever laid eyes on. But you couldn't let that distract you from your purpose here. "Haven't seen you around here before, are you lost?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm... looking for someone." You were vague, not sure of who this man was and not willing to trust anyone but who you were looking for.

"Oh? Well I'm one of the owners here," Ran replied casually, though he was dying to know who you were here for. "Maybe I could help you out?" His words sparked recognition in you, he could see it in how your eyes widened.

He's an owner? That mean he must know... "My brother, I'm looking for my brother." You felt the tiniest rush of relief that you bumped into someone who could truly help you.

Brother. Ran couldn't help but smile. This was the best case scenario; there was not issue of competition there. "And who's that, sweetheart?"

"Mikey."

"Mikey?" But it wasn't his own voice that verbalized his surprised. He whipped around, irritated to find Sanzu and Rindou followed him. Sanzu was shocked by the mention of the boss's name. Ran couldn't deny he was surprised too; he had no idea Mikey had a sister.

"Since when did Mikey have a sister?" Rindou questioned.

Sanzu scowled. "I knew it," he snapped, "But I didn't know it was her." Of course Sanzu, Mikey's little dog, would be privy to that information. But even he had never laid eye on you before, he simply was just aware a sister existed. "You're not supposed to be here," his comment pointed right at you.

"I know, I know," you replied quickly. Mikey was very clear to you that you were supposed to stay far away from his... line of business. "But it's an emergency. These guys came to my job and I- they were looking for me." You shivered at the memory of your close call.

Sanzu's eyes widened. Ran could practically hear the gears turning in his head: how was he going to use this as an opportunity to further win Mikey's favor? Ran rolled his eyes, as if Sanzu needed to do any more ass kissing.

"Did anyone follow you here?" Sanzu demanded.

"No - I don't think so," you replied. "Please can't I just talk to Mikey?"

"C'mon Sanzu, you're scaring the poor girl," Ran interjected. If Sanzu could use the situation to his benefit, so could he. "Even if someone did follow her, we'll handle it. Let's just get her to Mikey." He gave you an assuring smile that caused a blush to rise in your cheeks. Ran didn't miss it, of course, savoring the soft little smile you returned to him.

Sanzu didn't argue, telling you to follow him instead. He led the way, weaving through the tables where patrons sat. Ran and Rindou took up the rear behind you, following to Mikey's private room at the club. Ran gave a particularly nasty look to one man who stared at you a beat too long.

"Did you know Mikey had a sister?" Rindou whispered to Ran.

"No."

"Interesting."

Ran smiled, this was exactly the type of fun he needed. "Very."

Sanzu opened the door to Mikey's office. He was sitting alone at his desk, a whiskey in his hands as he looked through a pile of papers. His eye flicked up, annoyed at the intrusion until he saw you. He jumped out of his seat. "Y/n, what are you doing here?" he was half between anger and concern.

You rushed past Sanzu to your brother. Ran leaned against the closed door, eager to see how this played out. "I'm so sorry Mikey I- I know I'm not supposed to be here," the words tumbled out of you. "But there were men looking for me. I got scared."

Mikey's eyes darkened. "Tell me exactly what happened."

You sat down, realizing how badly you were shaking. You'd come here on pure adrenaline and now it was wearing off. You explained to Mikey how you had been in the back of the bakery where you work, when you heard a gruff voice asking for you. Well, it was really more like demanding. At first you had been afraid you fucked up someones order, but when you caught a peak at the 2 men looking for you you knew instantly they were not looking costumers.

Thankfully, they hadn't seen you and your coworker had the good sense to insist you were not working today. It took some convincing, but they finally left. You lied to your coworker and said you had a crazy ex. But really, you knew the symbol on their jackets was one your brother warned you of. A rival gang. And somehow, despite Mikey's best efforts to keep you far away from his lifestyle, they found you.

"You swear you weren't hurt?" Mikey questioned, softening now that he understood why you were here.

"I'm okay I promise, just a little shaken up," you replied, "I don't know what I'm gonna do about work."

"You're going to quit," Mikey state, shooting you a look when you balked. "I should have known something like this would happen. You got really fucking lucky today, y/n. If they had gotten to you... I don't even want to think about it. You have to stay close to me. Under my protection, there is no other way."

"But my coworkers could be in danger," you replied, sad at the thought of never getting talk shit about rude costumers while kneading dough again.

"I'll have my guys watch the shop for a few weeks to make sure it's safe. And tell me the name of the girl who had your back. I'll make sure she gets compensated," Mikey replied. Before you could protest, Mikey returned his attention to the men behind you. "Sanzu, get everyone to the meeting room. We need to discuss this immediately."

Sanzu slipped out obediently. Mikey eyed the two remaining men suspiciously, particularly the taller one. "And who do I have to thank for finding her?"

The taller one, Ran you believed his name was, smiled. "That would be me boss."

Mikey's jaw tightened. "Of course." He didn't express gratitude as you expected, but Mikey was not the most warm and fuzzy person. "You two can go wait in the meeting room. I'll be there shortly." They both nodded and slipped out wordlessly. You noticed, though, Ran eyes scan you one last time, which made your heart stutter in your chest.

Mikey instructed you to stay in his office while he went into the next room to have a meeting with his executives. "Don't worry, the club is guarded by my men, you're safe here. I'm gonna make sure everything works out, okay y/n?"

You nodded. You trusted your brother completely. Mikey squeezed your arm in attempt to be comforting before exiting the room. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the headache that was dealing with subordinates.

Despite the short amount of time lapsed, all his executives were there waiting. At least they knew their place, he thought. Dogs who come when called. The room was much more cramped than their board room back at HQ, but it worked for when they needed it. Mikey took his spot at the head of the table.

"Most of you don't know this, but I have a sister," Mikey began, his eye shifting around the room. All the men, besides those you had already met, looked surprised and confused. Sanzu was the only person who knew of your existence prior to this. Being he was Bonten's number 2, he had to ensure someone would look after you should anything happen to him.

"I've kept her secret from everyone because I didn't want her to be in danger. But somehow our rivals have found out about her," Mikey stopped, swallowing his anger as the weight of the situation hit him. "We are going to find the men looking for her and we are going to fucking kill them. All of them. Destroy their gang one member at a time if we have to."

The men nodded along, Sanzu particularly eagerly. He always excited at the thought of bloodshed.

"You're all to guard her with your life," Mikey continued, "I'll be working on a schedule for everyone to take turns keeping an eye on her while the rest of us continue work as usual."

"What if you bring her to work?" Koko asked. Mikey's brow furrowed, but he continued. "Our headquarters is secret and there always a bunch of us around. That's gotta be safer than just one of us at an apartment. And then you don't have to worry about shifts."

Leave it to Koko to find a way to be more efficient. Mikey debated it. On one hand he had a good point; it was probably safer to have you surrounded by more people. And then Mikey would alway be around at work and when you went home. Because he was definitely making you move in with him, at least until he was sure there weren't any active threats against you. But at HQ you'd in the middle of his business and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Plus there were other concerns he had...

"I think that's a good idea," Ran piped up.

"I agree," Takeomi said, cigarette hanging from his mouth.

Of course they like the idea. Mikey wasn't an idiot, he knew you were a pretty girl. He's seen the way men look at you and being a man himself, he knows what those looks mean. It makes him sick to his stomach. It's not that he is some control freak that would say you're not allowed to date anyone, but he has high standards when it comes to who should be allowed to date you. And this lot of men don't even come close. They were great employees, cunning and devious, but he wouldn't want their hands on you. Having you around would be like throwing blood in shark infested waters.

Still, he couldn't deny it HQ would be the safest place for you to be. Mikey sighed. "Alright, you're right Koko," he replied, acknowledging only his white haired subordinate. Had it been anyone else who suggested it he may have said no, but Mikey trusted Koko not to have ulterior motives. He wasn't so obsessed with getting women in his bed like the others. "But there will be rules. Her safety is the number one priority. I'll expect you all to take a bullet for her if needed."

No one objected. Signing on to Bonten meant being willing to take a bullet for Mikey. What was one more person?

"And no one fucking touches her," Mikey stated, looking every single one of them in the eyes so they'd recognize the weight of his words. "If you do, I'll put a bullet in you."

Ran's lips twitched ever so slightly. He couldn't say he was surprised, but he was still amused. He was a man who loved a challenged and Mikey just made this all the more fun for him.

***

Moving in and working with Mikey was not as bad as you thought it would be. Mikey's "apartment" was more like a penthouse and did not make you miss your shabby little apartment at all. You had been worried about privacy, but you had your own room and bathroom down the hall and he gave you space when you needed it. You were actually liking the arrangement, getting to spend more time with your brother than you had in a while.

Even going to work with him wasn't so bad. At first he expected you to just sit around all day, but you insisted on doing something while you were there. He was very wary of it, not wanting you to get too involved in his way of life, but eventually allowed you to do some small stuff. You cleaned up a bit, made coffees, helped organize some old files. Simple stuff.

Then you discovered the HQ had a kitchen. It was little, but Mikey was more than happy to buy all the gadgets you needed to make it functional. Since then you spent your days baking, the thing you missed most. It worked out perfectly, it kept you busy with work Mikey deemed safe and the guys got fed delicious pastries. Everyone was happy.

In fact, you were surprised by how much you were enjoying this. There was still an element of fear knowing that the bad guys knew who you were and sure you got frustrated you couldn't go out with friends, but you did like going to work Mikey.

There was another reason you enjoyed going to Bonten HQ with Mikey so much. Ran Haitani. The attraction you felt towards him the first time you saw him has only grown. He charmed you with ease, like he wasn't even trying. Ran, of course, was trying. Specifically he was trying to make his flirtatiousness seem as casual as possible, as to not upset Mikey. He loved testing the limits, seeing what he could get away with.

"What're you making, sugar?" Ran asked as he entered the kitchen. He'd started calling you that nickname after you started supplying the execs with endless sweets. From anyone else you would think it was corny, but from Ran and it made your heart skip.

"Peanut butter brownies," you replied, taking in his appearance. He was always dressed well, but today he looked particularly good in an immaculate lavender pinstripe three piece suit. You reckoned no other man could pull it off.

He looked you up and down, a sly smile on his face. "Can't wait to get a taste." Your cheeks colored. You knew he was talking about the brownies, but the way he looked at you...

"You sure do have a sweet tooth, Ran."

"Well you're certainly hard to resist. Your baking, that is," he said with an innocent smile.

"Is there something specific you'd like to try?" you asked, returning his faux innocent banter.

Ran grinned, "I could think of something." It was then you realized the two of you had gravitated towards each other. Ran towered over you, his rich, warm scent filling your lungs.

Before you could speak, your brother's voice shattered the tension between the two of you. "Am I interrupting something?"

Ran turned, a calm smile on his face. "Nothing, boss. Y/n here was just telling me about the brownies she made. Was hoping she'd let me try 'em." He spoke so casually, nothing like the low simmer in his voice that had been pulling you in just seconds ago.

"Yeah, I bet," Mikey replied flatly. "A word alone, Ran." Mikey left without another word.

"Save a corner piece for me, they're my favorite," Ran smiled at you before slipping out of the room.

"I thought I made myself clear," Mikey stated when they were alone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, boss," Ran replied, that stupid smile still on his face. Mikey wanted to punch it off him.

"Do you think I'm stupid Haitani?" Mikey asked, his jaw tightening.

"Not at all, boss."

"Then you know that I know what you're up to," his eyes narrowed.

"I just wanted to try some bro-" Mikey cut him off by pounding the wall next to his head. Ran didn't even flinch.

"If you touch my sister you're a dead man," Mikey snapped.

Ran smiled again. "Wouldn't dream of it."

But dream he did. Hell he straight up fantasized about it. What you'd look like bent over those counters you constantly worked at, looking up at him with those pretty eyes while on your knees, how sweet you'd taste... He thought about it all. But more importantly, he planned.

Later that evening Mikey addressed the incident in the kitchen with you. "I don't like you talking to Ran."

"What? What's wrong with him?"

Mikey almost laughed. What wasn't wrong with him. "He's just..." he searched for the right word, not wanting to scare you. "An idiot."

You laughed. "All men are idiots." Mikey gave you a look, but couldn't help but smile.

"I'll ignore that comment," Mikey replied, "But he's just involved in bad shit. I don't want you getting close to people in my line of work, even the one's I trust. Plus, he only wants one thing."

You rolled your eyes. "Why do I feel like I'm about to get the birds and bees talk."

"I'm serious."

"Oh, I know you are," you half sighed, half laughed. "Like I said, all men are idiots. I know what men want, I've dealt with plenty of guys like that. I'm sure I can handle myself. Plus, he doesn't seem that bad."

"Well he is. So stay away from him," Mikey said with finality.

"What're you gonna do, kill him?" you asked, half joking.

"If I have to," Mikey replied so casually you couldn't tell if he was joking or not. You knew he would never hurt you, but you weren't blind to what your brother was capable of.

"You're way over thinking this," you replied, realizing that it would not be worth it to argue over this. "I don't see Ran like that. He's just another weirdo you work with. I'm not interested in him."

That seemed to appease Mikey. You were a better liar than you thought.

Since the day Mikey found you in the kitchen with Ran, the two of you were never alone together. Neither of you address what was going on between the two of you, but you knew he felt it. You could tell by the way he looked at you. You were certain it was not a one-sided crush. However, you were smart enough to know it could not be openly pursued.

Then, one day Ran appeared to you in the kitchen. Alone. "Mikey's out on errands."

For a half second you wondered why he was telling you this, but then it hit you. "Oh." Mikey was gone. That meant...

There was nothing more to be said. You were on each other in an instant, as if taken over by autopilot. Ran's hands felt so good on your body, already wrapping around your waist. You pulled him in by the back of his neck, desperate for more.

Ran wasn't patient in the best of times, but today? He couldn't wait another second to have you. He lifted you up on the counter with ease, pulling a half giggle half gasp from your lips. He moved skillfully, stripping your lower half without ever breaking away from the kiss until he dropped to his knees in front of you.

"Been dreaming about tasting you," he hummed against your thighs. He licked a stripe up your pussy and groaned. "So sweet. Knew you would be."

Ran buried his face between your legs. He knew he didn't have a ton of time and wasn't going to waste a second of it. His plush lips attached to your clit, making you gasp. You knotted your fingers through his lilac hair, needing something to steady yourself. His teased you, pressing against your aching entrance.

"Fuck Ran," you gasped, hooking your thighs over his shoulders and locking him against. Ran loved it, the feeling of your plush thighs pressed against him, how desperate you sounded. He needed to see you completely fall apart.

Ran slipped a finger into your throbbing hole and returned to sucking at your clit. You gripped his hair so tightly it made his scalp ache, but that only egged him on more. The feeling of his fingers curling inside you and his tongue lapping at your clit was too much for you. Your body shuddered as came, moaning his name. Ran savored every second, not pulling away until he was sure you were completely finished.

He stood up, about to kiss you again when his phone went off. He checked it, cursing when he saw Rindou's message. "Mikey's on his way back," He practically groaned. Ran almost laughed at how you pouted.

"I want you so bad."

"I know sugar, believe me," his eyes flicked down to the tent in his pants, making your eyes widen. "But if you're brother kills me before I get to fuck you then we're both shit outta luck." He gave a quick kiss. "Promise I won't make you wait too long." And with that he was gone.

***

It had only been two weeks, but it felt like an eternity. You thought there had been a lot of tension before you hooked up, but now it was down right unbearable. You both seemed to be avoiding each other, not because you didn't want to see each other, but because you couldn't trust yourselves not to pounce on each other. The few times you were in the same room together were a true test of endurance.

The way Ran looked at you drove you wild. His eyes would scan your body in a way that would seem casual to anyone else, but you could feel him undressing you, thinking of all the ways he would ravish you. It made your heart race and your knees buckle. Ran had one hell of a poker face, but the glint in his eyes told you that he too was dying to get his hands on you.

By the time a month passed, you were wondering if Ran was ever going to make a move. Then, on a Thursday night just as you were about to head to bed you got a text.

Ran: Come get the door. Quietly

Your heart raced, wondering if you were reading it right. The door? As in the front door where you lived with Mikey? He wouldn't dare come here, not with Mikey at home. But you had to check. Your crept out of your room, pausing to listen for any signs of Mikey being awake. His room was on the opposite side of the house from yours, but you didn't dare get to close and risk waking him.

When you finally opened the door, you were shocked to see Ran standing there with a calm smile on his face, despite his text.

"What're you-"

Ran held a finger up to his lip, silencing you. "Let's talk somewhere private, yeah?" The way his eyes flicked over you, smirking at the tiny shirts and tight little tank top you wore told you he wasn't looking to just talk. This was a bad idea, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

The next thing you knew, Ran was in your room. It was weird to see him there, in your private space. It made your stomach churn with anticipation.

"What're you doing here?" you tried again.

Ran sat on your bed, making himself comfortable. "I couldn't stay away from you any longer."

"But here? With Mikey at home?" you questioned.

"Mikey and Sanzu hang out and drink every Thursday night," Ran replied, "They always come in Friday with hangovers. I was feeling generous and bought them a few bottles of their favorite whisky for this evening. I imagine they'll both be sleeping well with how much they drank tonight." Your eyes widened as you processed his words. Ran didn't tell you that he slipped some sleeping pills in their drinks. You didn't need to know that; all you needed to know was that Mikey was very unlikely to disturb you two tonight."

"Are you saying-"

"I'm saying, if you can be quiet for me sugar, we can have some fun tonight," Ran smiled wickedly. "Whaddya say? Can you be a good girl and be quiet?"

"Yes." The words were barely past your lips when Ran pulled you on to his lap. Your straddled him, your bodies easily fitting together. You replayed Ran's kiss countless times since hooking up, but feeling it again blew your imagination away. His lips and tongue moved expertly, intoxicating you. Any concerns of getting caught fell to the wayside as your hips rolled against him, feeling hims harden under you.

In a flash, Ran had you flipped over, your hands pinned above your head. He licked his lips as he looked down at you. "God the things I would do to you if we had time." He kissed at your neck, nipping it lightly. He was careful to not leave a mark, but couldn't resist the way it made you gasp. "Promise one day I'll be able to do everything I want to you. But for now I just gotta be inside you."

You nodded eagerly, wanting to feel him in you so badly it ached. Ran practically tore your clothes off as you pawed at his. His fingers slipped between your legs, grinning smugly as he felt how slick you were. He toyed with your clit before sliding two fingers inside your tight pussy. He watched as your wriggled and gasped at him pressing your g spot.

He drank in this sight, relished the rush of having you splayed out and needy for him in Mikey's own home. Fucking you like this was the ultimate fuck you to Mikey. He could practically get off on the power trip of it alone.

Ran continued to finger you as he sucked on your tits. Your fingers tangled in his hair, scraping his scalp. He hummed in pleasure as he took your nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicked over the sensitive bud as he played with your clit. The sensation grew too intense, pushing you over the edge.

You let out a moan and Ran's free hand clamped over your mouth. He secretly loved that you couldn't keep yourself quiet, but couldn't risk getting caught before he got to fuck you.

"Thought you were gonna be quiet for me?" Ran teased as you came down from your high.

"Fuck I'm sorry Ran, just felt so good," you replied breathlessly. He couldn't even pretend to be mad.

"That okay pretty girl," he replied, "But I'm gonna fuck you even better than that, so you better keep that pretty little mouth shut." You nodded eagerly, anything to get Ran inside you.

Ran stroked his long, hard cock as he spread your thighs apart more. He admiring how slick your pussy looked, his cock aching to feel you wrapped around him. He lined himself up to you, pushing in. His held fell back as his bit his lip, trying to stifle a groan.

"Fuck, angel, prepped you and you're still so fucking tight." He kept his voice low. He rolled his hips, feeling your pussy suck him. "Feels so fucking good."

You didn't trust yourself with a reply. The way Ran thrust into you made your entire body flutter with pleasure. You felt him so deep it left you breathless, his cock hitting spots in you you didn't know existed. You grabbed the back of his neck, burying your face into it. You sucked and nipped at his neck, trying to prevent yourself from crying out. The more Ran fucked you, the hotter it was to keep quiet. Your teeth sunk into the junction of his neck and shoulder and Ran relished in the sting of your bite.

"Fuck Ran," you whined against his skin as pleasure consumed your senses. Your pussy throbbed around him as you came, making his thrusts falter.

"Shit baby so good," Ran panted. His cocked twitch as he finally released, filling you with his cum. He slid out, a smug grin on his face as he watched his cum leak out of you and make a mess of your bed. He was debating if he should risk a picture when he heard the familiar metallic click of a gun cocking.

"Mikey what the fuck!" you gasped, covering yourself in your sheets, though he wasn't even looking at you. His dark, cold stare was solely on Ran as he point his gun at the lilac haired man's head.

"You're fucking dead Haitani."

[overseer-picard]

I have to talk about "I, Borg" for a moment. I get so exasperated by people saying Picard was stupid or weak for not using Hugh to cause genocide. I get it, Hollywood neural rot tells us we should always kill the bad guys but... come on, watch the episode with your brain wrinkles open.

Picard was chomping at the bit to use Hugh to infect the Borg, his staff were the ones telling him to slow down and think about things but he turned a deliberate blind eye to them for most of the episode. It was deeply out of character for him, but his actions were underpinned with a simmering rage that made it all make sense (especially considering he had been assimilated just two years prior).

He lashes out at Guinan, "It's not a person, damn it, it's a Borg!", he tells Geordi to "unattach himself" from the "lab animal", and he even makes Beverly do a double take when she says "You're making it sound like a virus." and he says, his eyes colder than we've ever seen, "And if all goes well, a terminal one."

(Cold Eye Picard ^ very scary, do not approach. He even gives a flicker of a sadistic smile here, which might be the only time in the whole series we see that.)

But my main point is that Picard wanted to go through with the plan more than anyone else on the ship. So much so that the lust for revenge was splitting him open at the seams and making him abandon his core morals. Even Guinan, whose entire world was destroyed by the Borg, tells him he needs to calm down and reconsider.

And that moment towards the end, the climax of the episode, when Picard is tapping into Hugh's recognition of Locutus, trying to do a hail mary to prove that this is still nothing but a mindless drone, and Hugh says "No, I am Hugh". BAM. Picard's entire demeanor shifts as he realizes there's no way he can murder this innocent individual.

And this moment-

-as Picard is saying goodbye to Hugh, you see his smile fall and doubt pull at him. Perhaps he's questioning if he did the right thing, or maybe wondering just how furious Command will be with him, but either way, it's a poignant moment that completes his arc because he was true to his moral center, and that is true to his character.

In my opinion, if Picard had chosen to push through with the plan, to kill Hugh and the possible (there was a chance it wouldn't work) millions of other Borg drones who were just as innocent and capable of rescue and rehabilitation as Hugh (and himself), it would've been a failing of writing and too far removed from Picard's character to be believable.

It's an incredible episode, and Patrick Stewart's performance is astoundingly nuanced, so it drives me a little crazy when people completely miss the entire point. If I wanted an action based thriller about the Good Guys coming up with cool ways of killing evil space zombies, I wouldn't be watching Star Trek.

^ the face of character growth

[strawhbrrries]

Cowgirl

pairing: dbf!southern!frank castle x afab!reader

summary: a trip to the store with your dad’s best friend ends in a lack of a swimsuit and the feeling of his beard scratching you forever engraved in your mind.

warnings: age gap (reader is 22, frank is 52), use of pet names, dirty dirty thoughts!!!, mention of a divorced dad?, fingering, no real sex, bearded frank <3, no mentions of y/n, no descriptions of reader, not proofread

word count: 2711 words

author’s note: the line “ride cowgirl” in pyramid by frank ocean inspired this whole fic, which i kinda wanna make into multiple fics?? a story if you will?? anyway, i think this is a huge step up from my last writing piece so please enjoy :)

read the sequel ride, cowgirl !

“I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons, babe.” You sang along to the song blaring from your dad’s speaker, you hijacked it when he went inside to get more beer for him and his friends, swinging your hips and slowly spinning in a circle. Your music was way better than his divorced dad rock music, which you secretly enjoyed, and if you were going to enjoy the get together he was throwing you were absolutely going to play your own music. 

“But you keep fronting.” Tiffany, your long time best friend, sang back into the imaginary microphone in her hand as she pranced around you in a circle. The two of you putting on a performance to the imaginary crowd in your backyard, or so you thought. Twenty feet away, sitting in perfect position across the fire to watch you swing your hips around, was your dad’s best friend Frank.

Frank was only half listening to the conversation between the men around him, he was more focused on the way you danced and how it was making him rethink every decision he ever made and was about to make, his knuckles going white from the grip he had on the bottle in his hand. Sure, he’d always known you were a gorgeous girl but something about tonight was different. The fire barely illuminating your skin softly had him wanting to slide behind you as your hips moved in time with the song, his lips dragging across the skin of your neck before moving to your ear where he whispered promises of what he’d do to you later. He took a sip of the lukewarm beer, watching you for a second more before turning back to whatever bullshit conversation that was going on. It paled in comparison to you. Currently, everything did. 

The summers in Texas were your favorite, the air was never too humid and warmed you up when the wind came through at night, the lightning bugs never failed to show up every night and lit up the trees if you paid enough attention. Truthfully you were biased, but the thing that made them truly the best was having no true responsibilities again and you would always enjoy that, especially when your beloved dad bought your alcohol for three months. One of your favorite perks was the swimming pool, you were either swimming with a few of your friends or tanning on the side but you were almost always found by it. The swimsuits you typically donned weren’t the slightest bit modest, and now wasn’t any different. You were barely covered in a green bikini, the top consisting of two triangles and a string, and the bottoms high cut and covered with a mesh skirt. 

“Castle, how’s work been man? Ain’t heard much bout it ‘n normally ya don’t shut up bout it.” Goddamnit is all Frank thought as your dad dragged him back into the conversation, ruining the imagery in his head. If looks could kill, the one he shot your dad would’ve murdered him beyond recognition. “‘s alright, busy. Always picks up in the summertime. Ready to have some more downtime, spend it with family.” More like with your daughter. 

“I hear ya. Promise ol’ girl over there we’d do some family shit this summer, if business keeps the way it is I ain’t too sure how well I can keep that promise.” Your dad responded, pointing you out to the guys as if Frank hadn’t been oogling you all night. You and Tiff had stopped dancing to the music and instead opted to sitting with your legs in the pool, gossiping about town drama and Tiff’s newest boy of the week. 

“Understandable, if ya’ll need anything just holler at me.” Frank responded, ready for the conversation to be done, ready to continue watching you like a creep from afar. He’d be a creep if it meant staring at you all night, he’d be a creep if it meant a chance to feel your hair wrapped around his hand while he-

“Dad, Tiff and I are going to get snacks from the gas station!” You called out happily, ripping Frank out of his delusion with the angelic smile of yours, walking over to the group of men surrounding the fire. 

“C’mere, I’ll give you my card so you can get some more drinks.” You happily grabbed the card from your dad, bending over to give him a small hug. Frank was no better than the next man, he scratched at his scruff as he admired the way the green of your bikini complimented the tan skin threatening to spill from the lack of support. 

“Frank, can you drive us? It’s dark and neither of us wanna drive.” It was like the perfect opportunity fell right into his lap and he’d be damned if he wasn’t taking it. The smile you were flashing him made him want to get down on his knees and beg, a god he wasn’t sure existed for, forgiveness for what he was about to do. 

“Course darlin’, let me get my wallet.” He looked at your dad who seemed to have no qualms about the situation before getting out of the chair, placing his mostly empty bottle of now warm beer on the ground and following you into the house. 

“I’m gonna go put a shirt on, give me a second.” Up until tonight, much like Frank with you, you hadn’t noticed how attractive he was. Older men had always excited you but this was different. Frank was big, strong, rough around the edges but had that southern hospitality you loved. You couldn’t help but think about how his scruff would feel rubbing against your skin, would it leave redness in its wake? would it help spur your orgasm as he fucked you with his fingers? 

You picked up some oversized t shirt that probably once belonged to your dad and put it on, shaking your head as if it would get rid of the thoughts. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out. Horrible timing I know! But y’know, boy of the week is calling.” Tiff spoke, her expression clearly apologetic, giving you a hug and promising to make plans for later this week before grabbing her things and leaving.

“So for taking so long, got caught up in my thoughts.” Of you. You smiled softly, suddenly aware of how the sun had brought out freckles you didn’t know he had and how muscular he truly was.

“‘S alright, lets get goin’ ‘for your dad starts wonderin’.” He matched your smile, placing his hand on the small of your back as the two of you walked out of the house and to his truck. You were painfully aware of how big his hands felt, triggering your mind to think about his fingers. You rubbed your thighs together to relieve some of the tension aching at your core, it felt so taboo to lust after a man your dad’s age. Not just his age! His own best friend! 

The trip to the gas station was uneventful, unfortunately, the two of you exchanged conversation like the tension wasn’t thick enough to cut. Like Frank’s jeans were getting uncomfortably tight and your bikini bottoms uncomfortably wet. Like neither of you wanted to jump the bones of the other person.

“Hey, Frank?” You asked softly, trying to gain the courage to ask the question you wanted the answer to.

“Darlin’?” He put the car in park, looking over at you expecting you to call him every disgusting name under the sun for his thoughts about you tonight.

“Do you, uhm…”

“I’m not a mind reader, baby.” At first you thought you imagined the word, that he didn’t actually say it but it was your imagination fueling the growing fire you had for Frank Castle. But he did say it, and he did it on purpose. Testing the waters, seeing how far he could go without making you uncomfortable. 

“Have you ever been with someone younger?” Not the fucking question, idiot. You scolded yourself, you didn’t want to know the answer to this. What if his answer was yes and you were imagining his interest in you, that you weren’t special. 

“No, I uh haven’t. Not yet, anyway.” There he went again, saying things that made you think you were imagining it. Maybe you’d wake up any minute and none of it was real. He could see the wheels turning in your head, you were a smart girl and he knew that. 

You, timidly, leaned over the console of his truck and experimentally ran your fingers through his scruff. You’d never been with a man, much less a man with a beard, you’d only been with what your father classified as boys. Frank leaned into your touch, placing his hand on top of yours and dragging it to his lips. Placing kisses on your palm, keeping eye contact with you. You were having trouble breathing, he was going to kill you. The beautiful hunk of a man was going to be the cause of your death, you’d make sure Tiff had it written on your tombstone. “Death by Frank Castle.”

Frank let your hand drop into your lap, threading his own hand through your hair to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. He leaned forward to meet you halfway, eyes scanning your face just taking in your beauty. His lips were made to fit yours, you were convinced, moving in motion with yours. His beard scratching your skin deliciously, his fingers wrapping themselves in your hair, his scent. He was everywhere, he consumed you. 

“Need you, Frank please.” You breathed, pleading with him. “Need you so bad, need to feel you, your fingers.” You carried on, your voice sounding like you were on the verge of tears. 

“Baby, not here.” He spoke softly, committing the way you sounded to memory for him to reference later when he was alone, “I’ll get you off though. Make you cum, all over my seat.” 

His words eliciting a whimper, you’d take anything he was willing to give you. It didn’t matter that anyone could see into his truck at any moment, made the situation so much more intense. He tapped your thigh, signaling he wanted you to open your legs. 

Frank let his fingers dance over the exposed skin your lack of pants left, dragging them up your thighs slowly. Painfully slow. He left open mouth kisses down your neck, occasionally biting and soothing the bite with his tongue. What felt like a decade later his middle finger traced your clothed folds, chuckling into your neck at how wet you were. You bucked your hips at the stimulation, earning another chuckle from the man in the driver’s seat, you were dying to receive some more stimulation from him. At this point, you’d sell a kidney and probably your soul to just have a singular finger inside you. You’d probably sell his soul too.

He dipped a finger underneath your swimsuit, groaning at how wet you truly were and that he was the cause of it all. His dreams were, partially, coming true and he needed to thank the heavens and the stars. Your moans and whimpers were music to Frank’s ears and he’d do anything and everything to keep them coming, to keep those angelic noises from leaving your pretty mouth. The truck was silent except for your noises and the squelch of Frank playing with your pussy.

“‘S wet, pretty girl. All for me? Did I do this to you, baby?” He taunted you, sliding his finger through your folds and swirling your clit as he waited for an answer.

“All for you, promise.” You whined, leaning your head against him, sweat beading on your skin as the car started to heat up from the summer air and the actions being performed. 

Your pleas were answered when he finally plunged a finger inside of you, pulling it all the way out and admiring how it glistened in the light provided by the street light in the corner of a parking lot. He did this a few times, thrusting his finger in and pulling it all the way back out before plunging it back inside of you. His lips found your neck again, moving your head back to the original position it was in, kissing every spot of open skin he could reach. As if he read your mind, he inserted another finger alongside the one already inside. The stretch burned in a way that made you feel alive, made you feel on top of the world. All because Frank’s fingers were inside you. God, his fingers were big. So big it made you think about how right your dad had been to call everyone else a boy and not a man. So big all you could do was think about how big his cock must be, if his jeans were any indication you were in for a real treat. Not here though, stupid stupid gas station stupid truck. Your thoughts soon turned to mush.

His fingers curled right against the spongy spot inside of you, hitting it over and over again, he readjusted his hand to put his thumb on your clit.

“C’mon pretty girl, let go for me.” He spoke low, trailing kisses back up your neck and nipping at your earlobe. 

You could feel the warmth growing in your stomach, the knots forming into bigger knots and then even bigger knots. Could feel the heat spreading throughout your body, your orgasm so close you could taste it. It was right there, his fingers hitting all the right spots and his thumb working wonders on your clit, his scruff scratching your skin and his mouth kissing everywhere. He was suffocating you in all the best ways possible. All you could see, hear, smell and taste was Frank fucking Castle.

Stars. Your vision turned to stars as your orgasm washed over you, your body shaking in the passenger seat as he fucked you with his fingers. Those damn fingers. You couldn’t see anything but stars, for all you knew you had gone to heaven and it was thanks to the magical orgasm given to you at the hands of your new god. 

When you came down from your high, Frank was whispering how well you had done and how pretty you were. He was caressing your thigh and placing kisses to your head. 

“Did so good, gonna get me addicted.” He reached behind your seat and handed you a water bottle, opening it and holding the lid so you could drink it.

“Thank you.” You smiled up at him, that killer smile that got him here in the first place. He truly was going to get addicted to you and he had no complaints about it, could die a happy man tonight if fingering you in his passenger seat is all he gets to do to you. His phone ringing in his pocket brought him back to the situation at hand.

Shit. Both of you thought, remembering what you were supposed to be doing and how it was now an entire forty-five minutes later.

“Hey, ah yeah we’re good. Small fender bender, yeah….to make it all worse the gas station was closed when we got here.” Frank spoke to your dad on the phone, coming up with a lie like his life depended on it and he hadn’t just fingered you to the edge of your life. “Should be back soon, don’t worry man. I’m keepin’ her safe, precious cargo.”

You chuckled softly at his sentence, relaxing completely in the seat and taking a few sips of water, thinking about the future of your relationship with him. Or whatever it was, you made out and he had his fingers inside you but that didn’t mean shit. What if he regretted it and now didn’t want anything to do with you, what if he was too worried about his friendship with your dad?

“Quit thinkin’ too much. We’ll figure out whatever this is, all I know for sure is I need to see you again. And you to ride me, like a fuckin’ cowgirl. Ya hear?”

[totaly-obsessed]

Questions

Mary Earps x reader request

-> Mary gets jealous of the Reader for getting all the glory after an outstanding game -> requested by @michellelawrence222 under a different story - I hope you like it!

-> Cursing

a/n: I'll try to catch up with requests next week - Uni is killing me rn.

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Playing on the same team as Mary, your fiancé, was the best scenario there was for you. Not only could you play with your partner – but your job was your childhood hobby. Your life was a literal dream.

And so was Mary – she was your dream, your future.

She always paid attention to you, valued you and your opinions, and helped you find your voice and ultimately yourself. She was an angel sent from heaven – a much-needed sign of peace for you and your chaotic life when you had met her all those years ago.

But a side not many people got to see from your girlfriend was her jealous one. The goalkeeper was usually the calm and organized one in your relationship, but when someone got just a little too close to you? All thoughts went out the window.

You found it quite cute. Yourself not ever able to imagine yourself with anyone else than her, not even able to pay attention or able to think of anyone else than her. But Mary, sweet Mary tended to get jealous or as she liked to call it ‘protective’.

It wasn’t intense or overbearing. She didn’t make you change clothes or stay home or any of that cliché stuff you see in the movies. Mary just liked to know that you were hers and that she was yours.

Whenever she got jealous her cheeks would turn red, her brows furrowed and her cheeks would puff up, desperately trying to calm herself down.

But that certain day was a little different, she was jealous of you, not someone who got too close to you. You.

As a striker who scored as often as possible, you were often in the spotlight – seen as a ‘savior of the club’ – while Mary was the unsung hero. She worked hard. Day and night to get better and to be the best goalkeeper in the WSL. But the recognition got lost somewhere you could not understand – your fiancés's biggest fan.

On that unfortunate day, you had scored two goals in the second half after Nikita Parris had scored in the first, while Mary had scraped every ball off her own goal line, making this one of the best games of the season for Manchester United.

Yet the applause for Mary’s efforts fell short, all eyes on you and Nikita. Your fiancé had enough. How come she did everything she could to keep the score zero on their side, but no one cared? If she had let all those shots on goal in, this would be a very different situation and she would have been heckled by fans and critics alike.

After the game you were on a winning high, like everyone else on your team – it was a great game. But Mary was scowling in a corner, not even looking at you. Meanwhile, every interviewer there wanted to speak to you and you did your best to talk to each and everyone.

Once you finally entered the dressing room it was mostly empty, aside from your fiancé who looked busy sorting through her bag. “Hey, baby. You did so well! I’ll shower real quick and then we can go, hmm?” You pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek, a little weirded out by her jerking her head in the other direction, and letting out a grunt.

The drive home was tense. You had hurried so much that your hair was still wet and you were missing your socks, trying not to make Mary wait any longer – you thought she was annoyed with you because you took so long doing the interviews.

Her left hand which usually found its home on your thigh was clutching the gear stick. The silence was swallowing you whole at this point – and it felt like shit.

At home she stomped into the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, you did your best to cook up a decent meal out of the stuff you had left in your cabinets – it eventually came down to a pasta dish.

But Mary didn’t make her way down, while you waited patiently on the couch, your partner's favorite show already lined up on the TV.

You had already called out for her, texted her, and knocked at the bathroom door – but she never made her way out to you. Tears brimmed your eyes as you sat the meal in silence in the harsh kitchen light. The usual setting of the couch made it clear that something was wrong – so you avoided it.

Maybe she just needed to wind down by herself, just some alone time?

But after three hours and falling asleep on the couch twice, you decided to head up to bed, packing Mary’s dinner portion into a Tupperware box in the fridge.

The bathroom door was now open and the lights were shut off. At least she had left the room.

The blonde was already in bed, a book in her cramping hands as she ignored your presence. “Mary?” She didn’t even look up. “I left your dinner in the fridge. Do you want me to heat it up for you? I can bring it up and you can eat in bed if you would like?”

She still eyed the book, aggressively turning the page which nearly teared under the force she had used.

It felt like walking on eggshells as you got ready for bed – leaving the bathroom door slightly open, scared that she would just vanish from the bed. The silence nearly drove you mad as Mary’s tense jaw shifted from one side to the other.

Eventually, you sat down on your side of the bed, feet still on the ground as you had your back to your fiancé. Your hands fidgeted nervously. Had you done something wrong? Why was she so mad at you?

“You really put in a shift tonight baby, you did so well.” The scoff that left the goalkeeper's mouth was immediate. You could not really understand why – she really did play great tonight and while she was her own harshest critic, she usually knew when she did well. “No, you really did! That dive you made-“

“Will you just shut up?” Oh. So, you really were the problem here – good to know.

You nearly wanted to vomit with how sick to your stomach you felt but if you being quiet made her happy, you would be quiet. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you slid off your slippers, finally getting into bed, your back still turned to the love of your life.

Mary however didn’t care – in fact, she rolled her eyes at you. “Do you want praise for shutting up as well?” Her voice was cutting and you nearly didn’t recognize her. Gone were her soft eyes and lingering touches, instead you could feel a hate-filled stare hit your back as you remained quiet – sobbing into a pillow.

“Give me a second and I’ll post it for you: ‘Star striker good at staying quiet – she deserves a fucking Oscar’ Maybe if you beg you will finally earn a trophy instead of praise.”

Who was this person in your bed?

“I don’t understand what’s happening Mary. How c-“ The blonde started laughing like a maniac. Maybe she was just tired from the game and the stress. “Of course, you don’t fucking see what is wrong! Too busy bathing in the glory while I do all the goddamn dirty work!”

Mary had gotten out of bed, pacing up and down the open floor, pulling at her hair while mumbling to herself. “What if I hadn’t been there, huh?” she was shouting now, angrily gesturing through the air “Who would have stopped them from coming? No matter how many goals ya would have scored, still would have lost without me.”

You flinched as your cold feet hit the ground but your cheeks were still hot in anger, the tears on them nearly evaporating. “Where are you going now?” Mary looked well and truly out of her mind, crying as well. “I’m gonna sleep on the couch. Maybe you should just go to sleep and calm down. Drink some water as well, huh? I love you – good night.”

Your voice was curt as you pressed a short kiss to her cheek, tasting the salt of mixed tears. But you left your fiancé no place to argue as you left the room while she could just stare after you.

The couch was comfortable enough to spend a night as you desperately hoped that she would just come to her senses overnight. It felt like someone had body-switched the woman you loved so much, for someone really mean.

But Mary couldn’t sleep, lying awake in your usually shared bed, clutching your pillow to her chest – what had gotten into her? How were you to blame for the people not recognizing her efforts and work? You were the first to congratulate her on everything, always making sure to mention her in post-match interviews.

If there was anyone at fault it certainly was not you.

Fuck.

You could hear her trudging down the stairs before you could see her, as she stood still behind the couch, nearly standing like a ghost in the kitchen. “You wanna say something?” The nervous gulp showed you that the goalkeeper didn’t expect you to still be awake.

“I’m sorry – I fucked up.”

A sigh so deep that it nearly knocked out the rest of the air in your lugs, left your lips as you sat up again – your head would surely kill you, as a headache already forming from all the crying. Mary sat down on the spot that you had cleared for her.

“Say it again, to my face and tell me what has gotten into you.”

Gone was the scared woman from the bedroom, you’ve had enough. If she wanted to behave like a child you would treat her like one. Mary took your hands into hers, shocked at how cold they were. Her eyes met yours in an ashamed gaze, looking up through her lashes.

“I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I was angry that you had gotten all the glory after the game – but that wasn’t your choice and I shouldn’t have come at you because of it.”

Even in the dark Livingroom, you could see the frustrated tears making their way down her cheeks, wetting your hand as she pressed a kiss to it.

“I accept your apology, Mary.” She could finally breathe, pulling you closer to her and giving you the first of many kisses.

“Pull something like that again and I will kill you.”

You would always be her number one fan, and maybe you just needed to show her that bit more, tell her after more games how well she did – talk about her in more interviews because no matter how frustrating life could be – she was the answer to all your questions.