#she’s absolutely infuriated by this lmao

[dragonanon]

“Lmao this is nothing; my ghost crocodile will send his bird to set you on fire if he decides he doesn’t like you. :)”

“I’m sorry your WHAT??!”

A random thought bought upon the one prompt where Emmet implied that even he gets floated away by Ingo's jealous Chandelure sometimes. I can picture Ingo getting together with his s/o, but being a bit nervous of how they will react to his Chandelure's jealous tendencies. Some have not reacted well to it. However, his worries are quickly put to rest when he sees you react to them rather well. You only smile and comment on how much his Pokémon loves him. Whenever she floats you away you just laugh it off. You aren't bothered by any of it, and while Ingo is thankful that his beloved is so understanding he can't help but wonder why you are so patient. When asked you just laugh, and say "Oh, you haven't met my Chandelure yet. They do the exact same thing." And a few nights later after he has met his s/o's Chandelure he finds himself being floated out of the bedroom because his s/o's Chandelure is jealous and wants to cuddle their trainer. As he's floated out all he can think is "Oh, so this is what it feels like." Don't know why I just find the idea of Ingo being on the receiving end of jealous ghost shenanigans to be really funny. It being a Chandelure causing it would be even funnier to me, but honestly any ghost Pokémon would work.

Ingo finally experiencing the eternal suffering of a jealous Chandelure and being slightly hurt about being unable to befriend a beloved ghost type. He is going to desperately try to befriend the ghost. He knows what they like, it should be easy! (It is not easy.)

djsjdjd with like Erin, I can imagine Ingo actually getting so frustrated and upset when s/o's Chandelure tries to float the boy away from him like his does to s/o.

Also, a possible Chandelure alliance or rivalry. They two ghost types are either aiding each other in letting them cling to their trainer or brawling to death for daring to do such a thing their trainer lmao

[hella1975]

in secondary school my form room teacher was a really strict, by-the-book lady who took herself very seriously and generally had an odd, hard to crack sense of humour, but it was a known thing that she was married to one of the maths teachers, who was the loudest, most emotional guy in the entire world, and it was so funny bc everyone in the school was baffled that they were married but my form room, in having her as our form teacher for five years, got like. VIP extra rare insight into their marriage to the point people would beg for anyone in my class to trade gossip about it like looking back it's hysterical how invested we all were in this couple and one thing we'd always tell people was when the maths teacher would just. show up at our classroom. because basically for people who don't understand form room, it's the class you go to every morning - the same one, the same teacher, the same people - for five years to do registration, and the maths teacher didn't have a form room so sometimes when he was bored before first period he'd just. show up to ours. and every single time without fail my form teacher would rip his head off for it bc it was 'unprofessional' and he was 'bugging her' and he'd wander off again with his tail between his legs but without fail would do it again another day. like he would just show up at her classroom whenever he was free and she'd be like 'well IM not free. get out' and we'd all be there like this is fucking golden i can't wait to tell literally everyone. one time he beat her to class and started doing the register for her and making up new names/butchering our actual names as he went and when she came in i actually thought she might throw a chair at him.

[teamhawkeye]

i think one of the most ironic things to come out of that ship poll, is people in the tags throwing up and going "EW, NO, NOT TRAVLAUR! AGE GAP! KIDNAPPING! GROSS!"

and then MULTIPLE of them turn around and ship Saw apprentices with their victims. As if there isn't kidnapping involved there and canonical, unavoidable character torture and death by their hands...

[sirenologyyy]

RIGHT SIDE OF MY NECK!

neteyam x fem!metkayina reader

✧ summary : a certain sully boy can't admit he's smitten by one of the daughters of the olo'eyktan, but why would he? he's calculated and discerning and she's everything he wished he was.

✧ warnings : swearing (that's pretty much it LMAO)

✧ author's note : neteyam's 15, reader is older than tsireya by a year or so, some much needed lo'ak and neteyam brotherly bonding (after the trauma inducing hellscape that was atwow), lo'ak talking like a regular teenage boy, and in honor of it being December again, may i present to you, a neteyam fic that has been rotting in my drafts since April 🤩

A gravelly groan escapes your lips as your hands managed to shield your face, almost to hide yourself from the undisputable truth that you, along with your Tsireya, and your older brother Ao'nung had been roped into the evident mess that was to teach the children of Toruk Makto the ways of the Metkayina.

You weren't as prejudiced as Ao'nung, sneering at the Sully children whenever he'd run into them, so meticulously influenced by your mother's dislike towards Skypeople, let alone the Omaticaya.

You weren't as welcoming as your younger sister, who had greeted them with big grins that only further accentuated her dimples and her devout willingness to help Toruk Makto's family in any way she could. While you had resorted to mirthless smiles and polite nods whenever you'd come across one of them, it was unnatural, yes, Ao'nung was quite unfair with his treatment towards them, yes, but Tsireya's overall cheer and joviality was something you could not for the life of you reciprocate.

You were fine with them being here, although you couldn't say the same for most of your people.

The only real thorn in your side was the oldest.

Neteyam.

Oh how your blood boiled whenever you'd spot him in the crowd. Always so eager to help, so eager to please, so perfect, so good, it made you want to punch the living daylights out of him... Well, only slightly, that may be an exaggeration. Your hate for him might be particularly irrational but valid in all the worst ways.

"Can't you tell them I've been bitten by something?"

"No" Tsireya snorts.

"I've slipped collecting coconuts and dislocated my ankle"

"Stop moving so much sister, or I will mess up your hair"

It was like he was so anxious about keeping up the golden boy facade, what a show off, you thought. Going out of his way to help any way he could, helping carry baskets of dried fish across the village, pushing heavy boats off to sea, weaving baskets, seeing to the ilus, even the tsuraks at one point. It infuriated you. What did he had to gain?

If there was one thing you despised, it was try-hards.

And Neteyam Sully was the bane of your existence.

"Oh!" You had exclaimed, snapping your fingers. "You can tell them I have fallen off my ilu and got ripped apart by an akula"

Tsireya laughed. "Yes, like they would believe me"

With another scoff, you stare st your sister through the mirror, so engrossed in the braiding technique you'd requested for her to do on your hair. "I don't see why you're bringing me into your affairs sister, it is clear as day you only want to help out the Forest People because you like the way that boy kept looking at you yesterday"

Tsireya tugs at your half-finished braid, making you swear and rub at your head, bringing Tsireya some amusement out of this. "Now, be quiet, be still, let me do my job"

With a sour mood, you allow Tsireya to thread the shells you requested she put in, sitting up straighter. "Your job in being an absolute bitch?"

Tsireya sighs again, feeling her slump in frustration behind you. "Do you think it is so easy a job for me to constantly deal with your attitude?"

A smirk comes to your face as Tsireya knots your braid off. "Don't worry, all your efforts will be seen by Eywa, she might even make the boy tell you your hair looks nice today"

"Enough, Y/N" Tsireya says, standing up from her seat.

You stood as well, hooking your arm around Tsireya's as you left your pod. "Oh let me have my fun"

A dozen morbid thoughts suddenly flood Tsireya's mind. "If we do that I am afraid there will be nothing left of Awa'atlu when you are finished"

When you arrive, you immediately spot both the brothers sitting on the edge of the woven platform, their long legs dangling just above the water. They looked to be so immersed in a conversation that neither of them noticed you or Tsireya approach them, only when they were about 4 feet apart was when you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

"Oh great mother, is it just the two of you?" Says you, making both the boys stand up like springs.

"No, our sisters are coming, they aren't exactly good at being early to things" says the younger one, his eyes flicking to Tsireya every now and then, making you dizzy trying to hold eye contact with the boy.

"Hey Tsireya" He finally says, nodding at her sister who laughs again. It took everything in you not to start dry-heaving in front of them.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Neteyam wonders, another smirk playing at his thin lips as he looks at you.

Your forehead creases. "I am nothing of the sort, what about you? What has gotten you so chipper?"

"Nothing all that special, really" He replied, not even convincing himself.

You heftily exhaled through your nose, moving away from the group and walking up on the platform, taking one of the seaweed bands on your arm to bunch your hair up just to get it out of your face. Once you'd pull your hair through the band the final time, you turned around just to see Neteyam's head turn away, almost like it was a chain reaction.

You placed your hands over the dip of your hips, facing the odd group. "Now, where has our dear brother wandered off to? It's almost noon and he is nowhere in sight"

This makes the rest of them look around for Ao'nung, even the two brothers who you'd assumed wanted nothing to do with him after your brother had showed his blatant contempt towards them after he'd ridiculed them during their arrival.

"He must still be with Rotxo and the others, we must be patient" says Tsireya.

Your mind remained closed, throwing your hands up in the air only for them to land on her hips with a thwack. "We both know Ao'nung does not move like the tide, he is too stubborn, too hard in the head " you found yourself saying, prodding a finger at your forehead.

"Patience, sister" Tsireya admonishes calmly, making her way towards you as you placed your hands on the identation of your woven skirt. "We must not rush things, we allow things to come to us at their own pace"

"Alright, alright" you tell her half-heartedly.

"Hey! Sorry, are we late?"

You turn her head to spot the two Sully sisters jogging up to the beach, the youngest out of all of them went straight for Neteyam, watching as he scooped her up with no hesitation. "Where in Eywa's name were you two?" Neteyam wonders, eyeing his sisters curiously.

The older girl rolled her eyes, pointing her chin at the youngest. "Couldn't decide on which skirt she wanted to wear"

The little girl pouts. "I didn't know which one I wanted!" She protested, her ears drooping down.

"She had two to choose from" the older sister groaned. Eyes finding yours as her grin widens, you chuckle to yourselves, having sisters was never a dull moment.

You two had bonded over that when you first helped her with her chores, although she seemed reluctant at first she accepted. Neither of you got anything done as you both found that snacking on dried seaweed and exchanging stories about your lives proved to be more fun.

"Maybe he isn't coming" says Neteyam's younger brother, subtly inching towards Tsireya while keeping everyone under the impression that he was trying to find Ao'nung just like she was, but in truth, all he wanted was to stand beside her. Tsireya didn't pick up on it at all, being the oblivious person she was, but Neteyam did, quietly chuckling to himself as he puts Tuk down, watching as she sprints towards the sand at full speed.

You shook your head at the sound of Tsireya's giggles and walks off the diving platform as well, making your way towards the beach to stretch your legs, walking along the coastline trying to kill time. That is until something tugs at your skirt, you turned around to see who it was but then looks down to see Neteyam's youngest sister, proudly holding a small conch shell in her hands, beaming up at you.

"They look just like the ones in your hair!" She exclaimed, a gigantic grin spreading across her face as you crouched to her level, taking the shell from her hands to study it. "It's a light purple, you don't have any purple shells yet"

"You're right, I don't have any purple shells in my hair yet do I?" You say in genuine amazement, holding it up against the sun, feeling the little girl scoot closer to you, but the shell had suddenly started to sprout 6 legs and you dropped it, startled by the animal and by the little girl's scream, you watch as it scurries back into the water, gone forever.

You turned back to the little girl who was visibly upset, another frown slowly forming on her face before you placed your hands on the little girl's shoulders. "Hey, we'll find another one around here somewhere, don't be upset"

She huffed, her shoulders rising and falling. "I didn't know there was something inside it, I really didn't"

You shook your head. "Neither did I, we both didn't know" you assured the younger girl, cupping her round face as her frown slowly started to shift into a smile. "Look, if we need to do this properly and find shells for my hair, I'm gunna need to know your name"

"Tuk!" She says. "My name's Tuk!"

"It's very nice to meet you Tuk"

"Really?" She giggled as you nodded. "What about you? What's your name?"

You beckoned her closer with a simple gesture of your fingers as you whispered your name into her ear.

"You've got a very pretty name" Tuk whispers as well, hiding her face behind her hands as she giggled.

"So do you" You had whispered all the same.

Tuk then looks back at the diving platform, and then back at you. "Y'know I think my brother is staring at you"

"Oh yeah? Why do you think that is so?"

The little girl scratches her head. "I don't know, he only stares at things he thinks looks nice or looks weird"

You grinned. "Does your brother think I look nice or weird?"

Tuk blinks. "I don't think you look weird"

"Would he think that?" Ka'leia emphasized.

"Probably" Tuk replies honestly, looking back at the diving platform again. "Why else does he keep staring at you?"

It made you think, it made your mind spiral into the bottomless void of memories in which you had caught a pair of warm amber eyes catch yours, and every time you did it made your heart stutter, however unfortunate it may be. "I'm not so sure either"

"Neteyam's weird" Tuk deduced.

You snort. "Yeah, he's weird"

Silence settles between you, but not for long as Tuk takes your hand and pulls you up. "Can we go and find shells now? Then we can put them in your hair! Then you'll look pretty!"

"Am I not pretty now?"

"No, not really" says Tuk, swinging your interlocked arms back and forth as her wide eyes scanned the sand.

"No?" You wonder almost scandalised, "alright " you nod.

You and Tuk spent a good couple of minutes digging holes on the beach to fish out the shells that had been buried underneath the sand, conch shells, shards of shells, fossils, rocks, bits and pieces of coral, if it was pretty enough for Tuk's standards she's adding it to her pile.

5 minutes later you're following her around with an armful of tiny shells, half the beach full of holes from Tuk and her makeshift shovel that had originally been a branch, with her screaming in delight when she's spotted another one, hurriedly running to you to add it in with the rest.

Lo'ak abruptly places his hands on Neteyam's shoulders, purposefully trying to scare him but Neteyam does not flinch at all. "Yo bro, you got a staring problem or something?" He wonders in English, stepping beside Neteyam to look out into the beach too.

"You done flirting with Tsireya?" Neteyam shot back.

Lo'ak huffed. "Pfft, me? Tsireya?"

"I know your tell, your tail's a dead giveaway"

Lo'ak laughs, punching Neteyam's shoulder, finally making the older boy turn to face him. "Yo! Shut your ass up!"

Neteyam chuckles. "No one else here understands English bro, we're fine!"

Lo'ak shook his head. "I'm not worried about the Metkayina, I'm worried about that devil right there" He says, pointing at the beach.

Neteyam looks at the direction where Lo'ak was pointing. "Who? Tuk?

"She's got spot on hearing, incredible memory," Lo'ak listed. "If I'd have known how much of a tattletail she'd be I'd have abandoned her in the forest when she was a baby"

Neteyam frowns, laughing. "Yes, and when I'd get home I'd find your extra finger in my stew"

Lo'ak grimaces, almost gagging as Neteyam wiggles one of his fingers at him. "Disgusting!"

Neteyam cackles loudly, watching as Lo'ak covered his mouth. "You're overreacting!" He tells him.

"Nah bro, you don't get to fill my mind with those kinda thoughts" Lo'ak says.

Neteyam places a hand on his back. "Face it baby bro, i'm in your head"

Lo'ak pushes it away, chuckling. "Lay off!"

"Will you two ever go a day without fighting eachother?" Kiri asks, giving them a look.

"Not sure" says Lo'ak. "But I wouldn't hold my breath"

Kiri rolled her eyes and Lo'ak turns to Neteyam again. "If Ao'nung isn't coming then we might as well fetch him, if you catch my drift"

Neteyam shakes his head, his braids swishing from side to side. "No, we will do no such thing"

Lo'ak half shrugs, already moving away. "Fine, if you won't then I will"

Neteyam grabs his arm, stopping his brother in his tracks. "Hey, what did dad say?"

He pretends to think. "Not sure, something about you being the next poster boy of the clan?"

Neteyam flicks a finger on Lo'ak's forehead, making the younger boy hiss. "No, you skxawng, he wants us to be on our best behavior, and I don't want to be stopping you from pulling another shitty stunt that'll get you in trouble"

"Fine" Lo'ak says. "I'll go check up on Tuk," He tells Neteyam unconvincingly, scratching the side of his head. "What's up with you and wanting to stay on the beach?"

Neteyam's jaw tightens. "There's nothing that's keeping me here except my promise to dad"

"Uh-huh" Lo'ak nods, eyes flicking to you and Tuk. "Nothing or no one?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Lo'ak frowns, pretending he understood. "She's pretty hot"

Neteyam pays him no mind, only scoffing.

"She still avoiding you?" Lo'ak asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, and I can't seem to find the reason why" Neteyam huffed.

Lo'ak snickers. "Maybe it's cuz you're coming off a little too strong"

"I don't know how else I can get her to talk to me without her insulting every fibre of my being or making up some excuse to leave, I've tried everything" He replies desperately, causing Lo'ak's eyes to go wide, a whistle leaving his mouth. "Damn that bad??? What the hell did you do to her to make you hate her this much?"

Neteyam rakes his face with dread. "I don't know baby bro, but you have no idea what I would do to find out the reason why"

His brother was too down-bad to be saved, Lo'ak knew that much, looking across the beach as he studies you with his little sister. Neteyam looks at his brother, his eyes seemingly trained on you as it flicks up and down, he slaps his brother's arm. "It's rude to stare"

"Yeah, go tell that to them" Says Lo'ak, pointing at a handful of Metkayin boys passing by, giving you stolen glances as they talked amongst themselves, chuckling and hooting.

Neteyam's eyes narrow into slits. "They're irrelevant, we must not let ourselves become like them"

Lo'ak glances at him, clearly unconvinced. "Yeah, okay, so stop looking"

"Fine, I won't" Neteyam replies quickly, watching Lo'ak turn around and walk to the edge of the platform. But he dosen't stop looking, he hated himself for it for it and the way that it was practically eating himself alive.

Wasn't it such a simple task? To turn his head around and look somewhere else? Well it should be, but Neteyam couldn't bring himself to pry his eyes away from you, you, oh Eywa. Your eyes were the colour of the sea, your hair shiny and black, your smile making his stomach twist itself into knots, your laugh making shivers run up his back, the way you dressed alone would make people turn heads, but your attitude was what drew Neteyam in.

You didn't feel the need to keep up this respectful facade, treat him like a guest because it was expected of you as the daughter of the Olo'eyktan, no, you treated him the way you thought of him.

You were rude, you were impolite, and you were blunt, because you didn't like him. You didn't feel inclined to tolerate him just like what was expected of you. He wished he was that brave.

"'Teyam! 'Teyam look what I got!" Tuk squealed as the pair of you walked up the diving platform carrying mountains of shells on your palms. "Y/N told me she and 'Reya could put these in my hair after diving lessons! Isn't that cool?!?"

"Oh Tuk, you didn't force her into braiding your hair did you?"

Tuk looks back at you for moral support. "But she said she would-"

"-Neteyam let her be, if she wants me to braid her hair then I'd be happy to" you had jumped in, siding with Tuk whose ears flicked upwards at her statement. "I hope it isn't too infuriating that I favour your sisters over you"

Neteyam wanted to scoff, but instead stifles it with a tight smile. "Nonsense, my sisters have that effect on everyone" He tells her, looking at Tuk. "Don't you?"

Tuk simply gives him a giggle, a swift nod, and then runs to Kiri, shouting her name over and over again before the older girl groans in acknowledgement. "Here," you say, handing him a conch shell with yellow and brown patterns ruminating on its surface.

"What's this for?" He wonders.

"Your sister practically dug up the entire beach, you deserve at least one" you chuckled.

Oh. He stares at the shell in your hands, then looks back at your face. "If I take this does this mean we'll be friends?" He asks, a sly smile breaking on his face.

"Oh you wish" You reply, smirking as you narrow your eyss at the boy. "Taking this won't change anything"

"Yes it does," He replies as a matter of factly. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had without you leaving or insulting me"

"No it dosen't" You shook your head, insistent. "I'll still hate you after this"

He hums. "I think I can live with that," He smiled. "I did get a gift from the daughter of the Olo'eyktan after all" He laughs when he hears you scoff.

You leave right after he takes it and right before he could say thank you. Walking off to find a basket to store more of Tuk's shells in.

Neteyam looks at the shell in his hands, about 2 and a half inches long, smooth, shiny, perfect, it was perfect. He loves it. He closes his fist, a smile breaking on his face before he could even relent it, a light purple tinting his cheeks as he places the shell in one of his pockets.

[pretty-little-mind33]

Tom Ryder x fem!reader

Summary: You're Tom's makeup artist for a movie he's shooting and you absolutely hate him. However, one round of karaoke later, your feelings temporarily shift.

Genre: Fluff, smidge of angst, Enemies to Lovers (very one-sided lmao)

Warnings: Tom is a stupid asshole (but he's also just a mess), swearing, reader is described as shorter than Tom, light misogyny, slapping, alcohol, being drunk/high.

TOM RYDER MASTERLIST

The bar is dimly lit and the loud music resounds in your ear as your knee bounces. You stir the straw around your drink, sighing as you turn to Vanessa, your co-worker. "He left me another post-it note on the desk yesterday telling me he wants a new lip oil because his now tastes weird!? His last one is only from last week and it's the same brand he always uses! I'm so sick of his bullshit, V," you drop your head in your arms and then peek up at Vanessa again, "He's such a dick."

Vanessa laughs, sipping on her margarita, as she shrugs, "Didn't you know that when you took the job, honey?"

"I mean, sure. But those could have been rumors," you pout and sit up, moving some hair behind your ear as you look around the room, where other crew members have gathered around the karaoke machine.

"Listen, don't think about Tom Ryder. You're off the clock and everyone knows he's a world-class asshole—a pretty world-class asshole, I will let him have that," Vanessa hums and also turns her attention to the rest of your friends and co-workers as she claps her hands. 

You look down at your drink, your cheeks feeling warmer than usual. Not thinking about Tom Ryder was easier said than done when you had to work on his face 5 days a week. He was so infuriating most times, either talking down to you when you worked or wouldn't cooperate with anything you told him to do because he was on his phone. Sometimes he really makes you want to stab the mascara stick into his eye. 

Still, you can't deny he's extremely handsome and that just annoys you more. 

Suddenly, you hear a bunch of cheers and hoots from outside, directly accompanied by the sound of the door slamming open. When you hear an all too familiar voice, your eyes widen and you snap around to make sure you hadn't just imagined it. 

Tom Ryder coming to one of the crew parties? No fucking way. Obviously, he's always invited to them but in a very arrogant fashion he never shows up—which is one of the reasons you do, because he never does. 

Only this time he did and he's not alone. 

Tom is dressed in another one of his boisterous outfits, his shirt loosely unbuttoned to reveal his chest and a peak of his toned abs. Pink-tinted sunglasses sit on his nose and his dirty blond hair curls messily around his face.

He looks drunk, or high, when he walks in and you can't tell which one it is because he's constantly moving and laughing. He's accompanied by a few other low A-list actor friends he has and a pretty blond model hangs on his arm, her giggles instantly infuriating you. 

How can she stand to be near him for more than a minute? Even less hold his arm and be his eye-candy? 

You turn back around, desperately attempting to calm the bile rising in your throat. God, you hate him. You feel even worse when he leans beside you at the bar and orders a drink from the bartender, snapping his fingers as he does. He doesn't even address your presence beside him and your blood boils. 

Your anger immediately turns to disgust when you hear the man hosting the karaoke scream out Tom Ryder's name.

"Tom Ryder everyone! I loved your new movie, man, it was awesome! How about a song?" the man asks, eyebrows wiggling as the crew clap (mostly out of politeness) and his friends make loud, drunken noises like a bunch of animals. 

"C'mon! One song—for all the pretty ladies in the crowd!"

Tom seems intrigued when the man mentions the girls. You roll your eyes and your hand tightens around your glass as he walks up to the host, raising his hands in surrender and feigning humbleness. "Alright, alright, I have to give the ladies what they want, don't I?" Tom boasts, winking at one of the camera girls he never looks at otherwise. 

Someone put you out of your misery now.

The host seems ecstatic to have someone this famous next to him and asks Tom for a quick photo, which Tom obviously doesn't turn down. You pretend to gag when Vanessa turns to look at you and smirks at Tom's behavior.. 

"How about a duet, Ryder?" The host asks as he hands him the mic. 

"Nah, I usually sing solo," Tom says, his words slightly slurred, and then he leans in to whisper something in the host's ear—which probably goes something like, "Unless she's got a nice rack, then by all means invite her up here." 

You lean in and whisper into Vanessa's ear, "Ten bucks he takes home the girl he ends up singing with," you say with a frown, your voice a little strained. Vanessa laughs and then the worst thing happens.

"You," the host shouts and you look up alarmed. Your eyes are wide when you realize everyone, including Tom, is staring at you. "The angry-looking girl in the back. Why don't you come up and join him? I doubt he'd bite." 

Laughter, including some nervous ones from your friends, resounds around the room as Tom's smirk widens. You'd be surprised, you think. You find your voice again and say, "Um, can't you ask one of them?" you point to the group of eager fangirls swarming around the small stage as they ogle Tom. 

"C'mon, sweetheart," Tom slurs, squinting at you, "One song won't kill you." 

But you might just kill him.

Vanessa, the traitor, nudges you again and you stumble from the stool. You glare at her but when all your friends, including Tom's more obnoxious friends, chant encouragements you feel completely trapped. 

The walk to the small stage feels eerily similar to a walk of shame as you look to your co-workers in hopes someone will save you. No one does and you ignore the stares from all the girls who wish they could take your place. 

You're blinded by the lights as you step on the stage and approach the host. "Atta girl," the man smirks patronizingly as he hands you the second mic. You scrunch your nose at him and then look up at Tom, expecting him to be ignoring you like he usually is, but instead, he's staring. 

His cheeks are pink from being intoxicated and he tilts his head, watching you clutch the mic nervously. 

The host doesn't warn you when the song begins to play and he walks away. You realize too late you and Tom are now alone and everyone is watching you as dread slowly fills your stomach. 

You don't even know how to sing! This is so humiliating. 

 The familiar melody of, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," fills the air and you feel the heat rise in your chest and up to your ears. Your heart is pounding so loudly you can only faintly hear Tom start to sing the song. He sounds fairly good and you aren't surprised considering he's an actor. 

Your voice catches in your throat and you feel tears rise. You don't sing when it's your turn and the crowd is silent. 

Suddenly, you jump when you feel a strong hand on your hip and you snap your head around to look at him. Your hand finds Tom's hand immediately, gripping it, and just as you're about to pull it away, he leans in and whispers, hot against your ear, "Baby doll, you're making me look bad," he states, his tone as condescending as it always is, and your heart does a somersault in your chest.

He looks down at you this time, his blue eyes lock with yours for a moment and his hand falters on your hip. For an actor, Tom Ryder has surprisingly no poker face because when he sees your distressed state, his demeanor shifts, and instead of frustration, he takes on a different approach.   

He takes your hand, suddenly twirling you around and you make a small sound as you stumble. It's been a few seconds since anyone has sung the song, so he sings again and this time, his eyes stay on yours as he sings your lyrics.

"You know this," he mouths, encouraging you as he does this weird, clearly drunk-induced shimmy that makes you laugh despite your better judgment. He points to the small screen where the lyrics are displayed.

You take a breath and then sing, focusing on him instead of the crowd and your head feels light. You would have never guessed there would be a day when you'd find comfort in Tom Ryder. Your friends clap with amusement and laughter swirls around the bar as you both continue to sing and dance. 

Occasionally, Tom will pull you in closer but you'll move away, flustered, and when the song finally ends, you move back and almost trip on the mic's cord. 

With a gasp, you expect to fall flat on your ass but instead, Tom wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into him as your palms press on his chest. You're breathing heavily and so is he, his hand is still on your back as his eyes roam over all your features until you push him away and walk down the small stairs and back to the ground where all your friends are whispering and clapping. 

You feel like you can't breathe, your heart beating so quickly. You mumble a quick "excuse me" to Vanessa, snatch your purse from the bar counter, and open the door to outside. The cool air calms your burning skin and you lean against the building. 

What the fuck was that? Why was he looking at you like that? 

"You know, it's normal to be nervous around someone like me," Tom's voice interrupts your panic and you spin around, not expecting to see him. "But running from me? Now, darling, that's truly a first," he finishes with a chuckle and an obnoxious smirk. 

"You're so full of yourself," you whisper automatically but then your eyes round as if you've realized what you'd said. 

Tom looks surprised but he also remains cool as he strokes a hand down his jaw and puts it on his hip. "Mm, I assume you're not a fan then." 

You cross your arms and look anywhere but directly at him because fuck, why did someone so incredibly stupid and pretentious have to be so darn hot? "You could say that, sure," you shrug. "Not everyone likes you, Tom Ryder." You shut yourself up as soon as the words leave your mouth. This isn't exactly something you should say to someone who you work with.

However, Tom's expression sours and he lifts his eyebrow. "You don't like me?"

You turn to him, eyes locking with him this time. "That isn't what I said."

Tom's eyebrows crease and he squints at you, removing his stupid sunglasses and they push back his blond hair. "You're confusing me." He sounds genuine. 

You can't help but chuckle at his idiocy and surprisingly for you, your laughter makes him smile. He leans in and you lean away, eyes round when you realize how close he's becoming. "You have such a sexy laugh," he says cockily, "Bet I can make you do it again."

You hate to admit this but your heart does flutter at his words. Can anyone really blame you? It's Tom. Fucking. Ryder. You try to remind yourself how much of a dick he is—and always has been—but as you look into the blue of his eyes, his reassuring touch burns imprints on your skin and you feel dizzy. 

Shit. 

"You look familiar," Tom straightens himself, "Have I seen you somewhere? You been in any magazines? You certainly have the look."

You ignore the so-called complement and stare at him. He has to be kidding. You've been doing his makeup for over six months now and he supposedly sees you almost every day. You worked on his face every single day—how could he not recognize you? You open your mouth to ask if this is a joke but he interrupts you.

"Seriously, I must know you from somewhere. Gimme a hint, baby,"

Your stomach sinks and you feel so so stupid. Tom doesn't sense your shift as he's still focused on whatever fleeting emotion may have been between you before as his hand finds your hip. 

Instantly, your palm connects with his cheek, and the sound cracks into the air. "Don't touch me," you say harshly, ignoring how shaky your voice is.

Tom looks at you, his hand over his bruised cheek, "You hit me?!" he says in disbelief, "What the fu—" 

You don't stick around to hear his whining as you turn around and run from him. 

Again. 

"Hey–wait!" you hear Tom's shout but why would you turn around now? Tears of frustration brim your eyes as you hastily walk down the empty sidewalk.

There is no way you're fucking crying over Tom fucking Ryder right now, you tell yourself and pinch the inside of your eyes. 

No way. 

You ignore Vanessa's incessant calling and her worried texts when you arrive at your apartment. You scream in frustration, throwing your heels across the room and scaring your poor cat, Pumpkin, as she sprints into the living room, her claws against the floorboards.

Quickly, you follow her and scoop her into your arms, "'M sorry, baby," you coo and nuzzle your nose into her fur. "I'm sorry Mommy scared you."

You hear Vanessa's fifth call from your purse but you're too exhausted to deal with her and the fallout from what had happened tonight, so instead you sit on the couch and cuddle with Pumpkin, scratching behind her ears. 

* * * 

When you pull into the parking lot of the new set the next morning, you haven't slept well and you feel like shit—it doesn't help that they're filming outside today, in the summer heat, and grainy sand infiltrates into your Converse. 

You groan as you walk over to the makeup trailer and see Vanessa waiting for you. You almost called in sick this morning until you realized how guilty that would make you look, so you sucked it up. 

"Y/n?!" Vanessa shrieks and pulls you behind the trailer. "Where have you been?! I've called you a hundred times, why haven't you answered any of them? I was worried Ryder somehow took you home and that I'd lost 10 bucks—" 

"Gross, why would you think that?" you say with disgust as if you weren't surprised to hear that after you left Tom hadn't returned to the bar. 

"I mean, for one, Ryder was missing and no one knew where he went. And second, are you shitting me? Girl, the tension was more than palpable! You were practically dry-humping Tom Ryder in front of everyone!" 

You feel like someone has just punched you in the stomach and your voice comes out high and nervous when you exclaim, "I was not! It wasn't like that, V! Is that what everyone thinks?" Vanessa nods as an answer and you want to scream. 

"I swear, I- nothing happened—even outside—I- funny story I slapped him because he's a jerk and I- I don't like him!" you ramble and your heart thumps quicker when Vanessa looks behind you and her mouth curls into a devious smirk.

"Don't look now, sweetie, but your boyfriend just arrived," she pauses and checks her watch, "An hour late. As usual." Vanessa looks you dead in the eyes and then she teases, "Chop chop, time to put makeup on your man." 

Your eyes widen and you pull Vanessa further behind the trailer so Tom won't see you or her. You hold her shoulders. "Please switch with me for today. He won't even notice the difference, and Allie doesn't need to have her makeup done until noon so that way I don't have to see him! Please, V, I'll do anything!" 

Vanessa crosses her arms, "Nothing happened with him, hm?"

You look at her, your eyes round and pleading, "Please."

"Fine, but you're paying for my lunch later," she says and taps your nose, "and giving me a detailed rundown on what happened with Ryder."

You nod reluctantly, whispering a small thank you under your breath as she turns to walk into the makeup trailer behind Tom. You let out a breath, leaning against the trailer. You know you'll have to face him at some point—just not now.

The day drags on and on as the heat is becoming almost unbearable. You stand to the side, your makeup kit secured to your hip as you watch the scene from under a tent. It's another action sequence and it's very obvious Tom's makeup is fading from the warmth and his sweat. 

Shit, you realize, he needs a touch-up. Vanessa didn't use the correct primer. 

You look around, hoping to see Vanessa and tell her Ryder needs a touch but the director's voice cuts in and you tense, "Cut! Someone come to fix his face!" Jody turns to you, her eyes kind as her voice becomes a little less stressed when she sees you're prepared for this, "Can you fix his makeup?" 

Shit, shit, shit. 

This is your job, you can't say no so you walk out onto the set where Tom is leaning against a prop rock. He straightens himself and when he turns, he doesn't have the chance to process your presence as you guide him down and fumble with your kit. 

He's taller than you so he's leaning down so you can fix him up properly. You put your hand on his jaw, near his ear, to steady him as you touch up under his eyes and near his cheekbones. 

He's staring at you and you know he recognizes you this time, his blue eyes wide and puppy-like. 

Silently, you add some powder on his cheeks and nose so the product sticks better this time and when you let him go, Tom opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head no, and then you turn your head and hurry back behind the camera. 

Your ears are burning from embarrassment as you walk directly to the makeup trailer, without looking back at anyone. 

You've barely closed the door when it slams open and you scream. You spin around just as someone tries to hold onto your arm and on instinct you grab the hairspray that's in your kit and spray it directly into… Tom's eyes. 

He screams too, his voice high-pitched and very un-sexy, as he clutches his eyes. Seeing him only causes you to scream again. "Ryder?!" you exclaim and immediately take his arm, pulling him inside the trailer as he wails like a child and rubs at his eyes. 

You slap his hands away and push him down under the faucet, pouring water into his eyes and in the process drenching his blond hair and ruining his mascara. 

"Fuck," he groans as he sputters out water as he jerks away from you. You move closer to him and without thinking hold both of his cheeks in your hands, looking directly into his, now slightly irritated, eyes. 

"Does it hurt?" you whisper, clearly concerned. 

Tom rests his hands on yours and pulls them away, "What do you think?" he groans and blinks a few times. "You're the girl—" he mutters and pinches his nose, "at karaoke. I remember you now."

You realize how close you are to him now and, overwhelmed, you step back. "Lucky me," you mumble sarcastically and take his arm, pulling him to one of the seats. "I have to fix your face again or someone is gonna fire me." 

He's weirdly docile as he looks at your work as you dry his hair. Once you're done, he speaks up, "Why'd you run from me? I mean, c'mon, the way you looked at me with those fuck-me eyes—" 

Tom has no shame and of course, he wouldn't. He's probably never really been rejected in his entire life and women have most likely let him speak to them like this. You pause and pull his chin harder so he's looking at you as you continue with his mascara. 

"Tell me honestly Ryder, do you even hear yourself when you speak?" you ask, your voice strained. 

"What?" Tom asks, sounding genuinely confused. 

"You're an asshole. That's why I ran from you." You drop his chin and your word vomit comes out without you being able to help it as you cross your arms, "I mean—I have been doing your makeup for months! And you've only ever left me your stupid post-it notes when you have a demand! No "Hi," "Good morning," "How are you?" No. Nothing like that. And I tried! I really tried in the beginning because like everyone else on this fucked up planet I thought you were awesome."

Tom opens his mouth to make a snide comment but you instantly press your finger to his lips. 

"I really thought, "I'm so lucky to be Tom Ryder's makeup artist!" and then I found out Tom Ryder is a shit person that doesn't—"  

"I'm not a shit person," Tom deadpans and stares at you as if your words have hurt him. 

You tilt your head and drop your arms to your side. You don't even know what to say to him anymore. 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry I made you feel shitty, okay?" Tom defends and his cheeks are pink, "I just—I am really bad with faces—and I-I was completely shit-faced and high on–" 

He pauses, stands, and wraps his hand around your jaw, his thumb stroking your bare cheek as your eyes widen and you tense. Something about his charm makes it impossible for you to move and because his touch is gentle, you aren't too worried. For now. "'M sorry. I am. Can't we call it even since you hit me and sprayed me in the face with whatever that fucking was?!"

He continues, "—listen, I liked karaoke with you and I was shit-faced so I know I must have been a dick."

"You're always a dick, Ryder," you comment, your tone less mad than earlier.   

"Then, you don't know me very well," Tom shrugs, "or like at all." 

"So—you're saying all this dick-ishness is a persona?" You sound very skeptical and Tom just shrugs as his thumb strokes over your skin once more and then he drops his hand, putting some distance between you and him. 

"No. Not entirely. But, you know, that doesn't mean I'm incapable of genuine feelings, Y/n."

You're surprised when you hear your name fall from his lips. Tom sees your expression and another one of his smirks curls at his lips, "As I said, I remember you now. Always did—my hot makeup artist—ask anyone—ask Gail, I mention you a lot. I was just hammered, you know? High out my mind—and it heightened all my fucking senses that I couldn't get your laugh out my head for hours." 

"If you're joking," you say and glare at him, "it isn't funny." 

Tom puts a hand on his heart dramatically, "'M not. Scouts fucking honor." 

You look at him and for once, you can't read him. "Well, either way, that doesn't change how much of an asshole you've been to me. You never said "hi" but you told Gail about me? Sorry, but that doesn't impress me."

You walk up to him and tilt his head using his chin, examining his make-up once more, and then you take his arm and try to pull him out of the trailer, "Now, c'mon, you have a job to do—go do it," you hiss.

"But—" 

"No," you start but he won't move. He turns around and stares at you. Fuck, he's strong. "Why won't you leave?" you ask, breathless as you step away from him. 

"Do you hate me so much that you won't even consider that I genuinely find you interesting?" he asks with a hint of insecurity in his voice again. "That I liked spending time with you and I think you're pretty."  

Your chest tightens and you sigh, "I- I don't know," you admit and you look up at him. You can't deny that your feelings have shifted and a little voice in your head screams that this is a trap and he'll eventually break your heart. 

"Here," Tom fumbles with the pants of his costume and pulls out a pen and a post-it note. 

"You seriously just carry those on you?" you crack a smile, finding that weirdly endearing. 

Idiot. 

"Yeah," Tom says like it's the most normal thing ever and then he writes down something on the paper. When he hands it to you it's the name of a restaurant. You frown, it's your favorite restaurant. He'd written a time beside the name. 

"How do you know this is my favorite restaurant?" you ask. 

Tom looks up, his smirk turning into a smile. "I didn't—it's mine."

Your frown deepens, "Hm, I didn't take you for a low-priced family-run Chinese restaurant kinda guy—don't you have a personal chef or something," you say and look at the time he's written down, "What is this anyway?" 

Tom shrugs and adjusts his hair. "I do but I like this place. The family who owns it never tells anyone I've been there, it gives me some privacy," he sounds serious and he walks closer to you, "Don't tell anyone, it might ruin my reputation and then your favorite restaurant might be swarmed by a bunch of fangirls," he smirks, pleased with himself. 

You can't help but chuckle. 

"And this," he points to the time, "is where I'll be tomorrow evening if you'd like to join me," he says nonchalantly and then opens the trailer door. Just as he does, he takes his phone and takes a picture of the time so he remembers it and he sends you a wink. "I won't wait long but if you do come, it's on me." 

You stare at the paper and realize Tom Ryder has just asked you on a date. You look up but he's gone and your heart does about ten thousand summersaults as your brain screams in agony. Your cheeks feel warm as you fold the paper up and put it in the pocket of your jeans. 

You're so very screwed.

You hear a ding and then a text from Vanessa saying, "Ryder's mic was on—crew heard absolutely everything—we didn't wanna interrupt your moment," she adds a mocking winking emoji but you don't care. 

That's the least of your worries now that you have a date with Tom Ryder.

[sant-riley]

[Task force 141 + others with Gen z!reader] [pt3]

A/N: Some of these you /may/ have seen on tiktok, that is me who posted them on tiktok. I am green haired bitch so no I didn't steal anything LMAO. I hope these live up to yalls expectations.

The last two of these my lovely friend gave me inspiration for <3 @frogchiro

Warnings: She/her pronouns swearing, age gaps, tiktok memes (like always lmk if I miss something!)

~

You steal Prices hat on numerous occasions bc its a fashion abomination and you refuse to let this man wear it around you. You hide around base as frequently as you can.

Jokes on you though bc he will literally wait til it's your birthday and buy you a matching one and will laugh at your scream of disgust.

Gaz one ups him by gifting you a matching hat as well, putting it on your head as he flicks the brim.

"Thanks Gaz! I love it!

"And not mine?"

"You're on thin ice, old man."

Price gets gifted a set from manscaped by the guys as a gag gift. He uses it for his beard bc he never bothered to look into why everyone was laughing around him.

Price takes your phone when you try and show him memes, squinting hard as fuck like a dad 💀

Soap, if yall have the time off takes you to scottish football games and it's a whole thing. You sitting there while he gets drunk out of his fucking mind, hollering and whooping and you're there trying to sink into your seat.

Chances are someone's gonna shove you and you're gonna trip and fall bc everyone's so amped up and Soap threatens to beat the shit out of them. It's a miracle y'all don't get kicked out 💀

If you have tattoos, Soap is the first one to take a marker set and color them in and adding his own additions. If you were ever to get them actually tattooed, he would tear up and pretend he isn't emotional about it.

"You like me that much Bonnie?"

He would get something of you too, so it evens out. This also makes Ghost in turn get a tattoo for you bc he refuses to be out done and he's just as attached

Neither of them get your call sign or your name, but they get something personal to what each of them associate you with.

The first time you meet Alex, you're across the room doing something that has your focus and didn't realize this is actually your first time meeting him. You ask him for a hand only to look up and see him extend his prosthetic at you with a smile and you scream.

"You asked for a hand but best I can do is a Leg." Price comes running and he sees the scene and rolls his eyes.

Everyone single one of them are the definition of "my girl can wear whatever she wants bc I'll break your jaw." meme btw. You can take care of yourself but you never need to bc they will beat a bitch up.

Laswell invites you constantly to come over and meet with her wife, esp if you don't have a mother figure. She always always tries to come on base to see you and always has a birthday and Christmas present on it's way to you wherever you may be. Her wife loves you to death and they've pretty much adopted you and you cannot escape it, oh well.

Gaz buys you whatever your little heart desires, especially if he's deployed away in a country where they sell exclusives of whatever you enjoy. It's a pain in the fucking ass to try and ship a anime figure to your place from Japan but he's gonna try his best.

Ghost doesn't share his food, or at least it was before you came along. He groans and grumbles about having to feed you but he wouldn't do it if he truly didn't want to. Soap asks and Ghost tells him to fuck off.

If you watch anime, please imagine trying to get everyone in the room and trying to explain who Dabi is. They're all so fucking old they keep thinking you're referring to the elf from Harry Potter and it infuriates you to no end.

Soap and Gaz know better but it's funnier to see you mad.

Being the youngest, they absolutely force you to do the jobs they don't want to. Whether it be cleaning the barracks, to cooking dinner when able, it doesn't matter bc they'll all pull rank on you.

"You're the new kid, get to it then."

"Ghosttttt-"

"Don't Ghost me."

Soap is the kind of motherfucker to play the fifa games and doesn't understand that he's stupid for buying it every single year bc there are no changes oncesoever. He will not listen to you about it and you've given up.

Ghost will see you talk about your etsy list and will ask for your phone, you trust him so of course you hand it over. He hands it back to you and it's just, all purchased. He says nothing while he sips on his tea while you scream at him asking why he did it. He won't tell you but it's because he knows it makes you happy and it'll keep your mood up, giving you a reason to be motivated to get through missions. It's also because he knows that retail therapy is a thing for your generation.

Soap, if you do any, is actually really good at doing your makeup! He knows how to do everything and he refuses to elaborate. (As a kid he'd do his mom's makeup when she went out for dates) he's the one who helps you doll up if you're going undercover.

Ghost, Gaz and Price find you unfunny whenever you make a "wow I wish British people were real." You say it so often and it gets annoying but they also just accept it's a part of life.

Soap personally enjoys the "SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRRRR" meme and will scream it with you. Ghost threatens to cut yalls tongue out.

Other parts can be found under #Kayla writes <3

Taglist:

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess

@stupid-ninja @milkmily

@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii

@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel

@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains

@marsbar127xx @baddump

@xncasi @king-cookiex

@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager

@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom

If you'd like to be tagged, go to my pinned post and comment there :)

[moodymisty]

𝕴 𝖉𝖔𝖓’𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖐, 𝖆𝖘 𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖘 𝖎𝖙’𝖘 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖊

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Part 1, part 2, Part 3

Author’s note: Time for the dicking, enjoy.

Summary: Cato Sicarius continues to fume over Primarch Guilliman's diplomat, unable to hide his disdain; But neither you or himself are wise to how he truly feels.

Relationships: Cato Sicarius/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Degradation, Sexism/misogyny, Choking, Size difference, Toxic relationship, inadequate foreplay and aftercare, Dubious consent, Sicarius is a virgin because like... he's a space marine but also he's not going to admit that to you lmao, Please remember this is not me like slandering Sicarius or something this is just my kink

tWord count: 5240

Cato Sicarius makes his way down the main thoroughfare of the Macragge’s Honour, helmet tucked in the crook of his left arm. His cape flows behind him just barely dusting over the ground, the shine of his sword catching every glint of light. He walks with purpose, head held high.

Cato Sicarius is ever the epitome of Ultramarine valor.

His dutiful walk is interrupted by something catching his eye however, as he looks out towards a myriad of docked ships. One is being refueled- an action that in and of itself is not wholly unusual - and he sees Ultramarines preparing to board it.

Second Company, Ultramarines. He recognizes their regalia, and some of the men armoured and prepared to be loaded in. Titus is among them; A face and set of armor he instantly recognizes despite his preference not to.

But... What are Second Company Ultramarines doing preparing to board a landing ship without his leadership, or at least knowhow?

With a newfound haste, he approaches the landing ship and catches the attention of the first marine that passes by.

“Yes, Captain Sicarius?” Sicarius gestures to the ship with his right hand, still holding his helm with the other.

“What is happening that’s deployed some of Second Company that I am somehow not aware of?”

The marine looks at him with a very odd expression, that Sicarius can't seem to place. He looks back towards his fellows for a moment, of whom give Captain Sicarius the proper respect when they realize they've caught his eye. The young marine he had questioned speaks up and regains his attention, Sicarius turning to look back at him.

“Lord Guilliman has us as retinue for the lady diplomat. She’s in charge of negotiating planetside with the local population.”

You.

Of course it’s you. Sicarius laments that it’s never anyone else. Since the day Guilliman requested your assistance to the day he kept you aboard this ship, he’s found your existence at best annoying, and at worst absolutely infuriating.

He is worth more than escorting around baseline diplomats, as are his men; But why don’t they seem to mind?

Titus doesn’t mind; but Titus is a scavenger seeking anyone who will blindly trust him after his incident, in Sicarius’ eyes. To think the man had once served as captain.

Sicarius turns away from the marine with nary a farewell and begins to make his way to Lord Guillman’s study with haste, his ceramite boots freshly cleaned thunder on the ground and rattle the metal tiles.

When Sicarius arrives at the doors to Guilliman’s chambers the guard in front lets him pass without issue, given his rank. Sicarius wouldn’t be here if he didn’t consider the matter important.

Though when he enters and announces himself to his primarch, Guilliman looks up from flimies and parchments with an expression Sicarius can only describe has bland.

“Have I misheard that some of Second Company are leaving without a captain?” Guilliman steadies his soul and looks at him with a dour expression.

“No, you haven’t. I have Lieutenant Titus currently serving as their leader. I made the decision not an hour ago.” So Titus was not only involved, he was leading the front. Unlike your previous escorts, where he had merely served under Sicarius.

“You have a lieutenant serving in my stead? Do I have no voice in this?” Guilliman leans upright, abandoning his materials and any hope of continuing to go through them.

“I have a lieutenant serving in your stead because you have an attitude that has become uncharacteristic of this legion.” He gestures plainly to his table, and unconscious action to emphasize his words.

“Were you not one the most gifted fighters this legion has seen, I would consider your attitude problem beginning to exceed your worth,” Guilliman continues. ���The woman is staying. She serves a purpose for me to trust with less important tasks and if you cannot handle that, then I will assign another to lead her retinue in your stead.”

Sicarius boils in his armor at his primarch's words, like he's been spit in the face. His face grows hot with anger, though he holds his tongue.

Does Guilliman really put so much value on you? You're nothing but a weak little inconvenience that must be escorted around to avoid being killed by even the simplest of things, how can a primarch possibly trust you so much? Enough to waste so many resources, like Astartes that should be in the field of battle, just to keep you alive?

You must've done a great job at convincing him of your own importance, slotting yourself right close to his side. Have you seduced him the same way you seduced his men, with the delicate fabrics of your dresses that tight wrap around your waist and soft hands that contrast with scarred ceramite plates? Do you have your eyes set on larger goals?

No. How dare he think such a thing of his primarch; To think he would be so weak as to fall of the wiles of such a woman.

Sicarius clears his throat, and then regains the composure he had so nearly lost.

"Very well."

Sicarius leaves his Primarch's study when Guilliman nods at him, a cue that he understands the conversation is concluded. The dark red fabric of his cape billows behind him as he walks, the bottom frayed from years of dependable use.

He is sure you've departed by now to the surface of the planet they now orbit. He can see the top half of the planet through the windows as he looks out, past the space debris. He stops for a moment, as serfs, servitors and servoskulls pass him by.

He wonders what you're doing down there, before he swiftly pushes it from his mind.

The rest of Second Company that are not currently on active duty are now currently in their daily training, and Sicarius makes himself busy by attending in person; Standing like a shadow watching and inserting himself or his voice where needed.

He hopes his presence even occasionally prevents any of the men from slacking, as even the most minor error can cause irreparable damage to his men, their battle brothers, and perhaps even worse. Minor slip ups are not something Ultramarines will tolerate, not even once.

After a few hours, Sicarius decides to take his leave once many of the men currently training put down their arms to eat their meal of the day. Sicarius purposely takes a different path than them, to avoid bunches of young, talkative marines. Neophytes are even worse, though thankfully he hasn't had to deal with them today.

While walking, he hears a voice that stands out through the sounds of ceramite boots on the ground, and the hum of machinery.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful to any of you all, but I would pay anything to see that."

It’s you. He recognizes your tone of voice.

Sicarius slows his walk slightly, eyes glancing to the left at the branching hall that will soon connect with the one he walks down. That's where the voices must be coming from, as an astartes laughs.

"We all still give the new ones a hard time about it. Not all of us had the most smooth transition into wearing our armor."

Another marine laughs, as they continue to walk.

"We fall over for Macragge!"

Sicarius reaches the apex where the two halls collide, and sees you with the same squad of marines that he had seen you leave with. Titus included. You're all smiling; Though the smiles fade from the astartes faces completely and turn to expected stoicism upon getting noticed by their captain. You loose your smile as well, and nod politely at him.

"Captain Sicarius."

You all say, greeting him. He glances at them, a hand on the pommel of his chainsword. He only casts you a brief glance, before he forces himself to look away.

"You all returned quite quickly."

You nod, and Sicarius doesn't know why he's upset over your change in disposition. The marine behind you speaks for you, his ashy blonde hair sticking to his forehead from the pressure of his helmet.

"It went well, Captain. We are on our way to report to Lord Primarch Guilliman."

Sicarius hums.

"Very well. Get on with it then."

Sicarius continues walking by, gripping the pommel of his chainsword tight as you all disappear from view, in the direction of the bridge. As he continues to walk, he figure you’ve all made it there by now, if not already left.

He wonders how the conversation went.

Did Primarch Guilliman praise you all? Compliment you for you diplomatic talents? The Primarch has a surprising amount of trust in you, for a baseline human. He has had no shortage of good things to say about your dedication and work ethic, how well you’ve helped him in this new Imperium- As Lord Guilliman uniquely calls it.

Is he the only one that feels this way? Why does no one just understand? Why is he alone in this?

The lights in the halls are dimming slightly; The marines are all beginning to sleep. Sicarius decides to quit wandering with no goal and get his armour removed, before returning to his quarters and getting some rest. Perhaps that will make him a bit less irritated at every little thing that manages to get under his skin.

It hasn't worked in the past, but he isn't apposed to giving it another chance. At least he wasn't the one who had to escort you, though he knows that it would've been significantly easier to assassinate Primarch Guilliman's prized diplomat without him there.

He should’ve been there. He should’ve been at your side, not Titus, he thinks as he has his armored removed piece by piece. The serfs and tech priests treat every piece with respect, as they should. Once they carefully hand him his robe, he slings it over his shoulders putting it on before stepping down the two steps away from the armouring machinery and leaving. The walk is short, and it isn’t long before the captain can slouch his shoulders once safely behind the privacy of his own door.

Sicarius’ quarters as one would expect are befitting of his rank; A singular habitation suite occupied by him alone. The bed is more than large enough for a man of his stature, and he sits on it in only his linen robes before taking them off and throwing his legs fully onto the bed.

He has five hours before he needs to wake. Tomorrow shouldn't be a day filled with too many unknowns and busywork. He hopes. But no matter how much he thinks it, sleep just won’t come. At least not full sleep; He could do as he does in the field and let only parts of his brain rest, but that isn’t what he wants. Normally he can fall asleep within moments after he closes his eyes as he's trained himself to do, but now he finds himself staring at the ceiling, flexing his fingers.

His palms are sweating. Sicarius wonders if he's getting ill, as he realizes much of his skin feels warmer than usual.

He takes few slow, deep breaths. The way he would when trying to get partial sleep in the field. But it doesn't work, and he finds himself leaning up to sit.

One of his hands presses against his bare thigh, as he slouches. The muscle and fat of his stomach folds as he runs a hand through his cropped hair.

He wonders what you're doing right now. You sleep for a few hours longer than the marines do, and when he had voiced up about it, Guilliman had told him baseline humans need more sleep than them to function at their peak. You had joked to one of his men once however that you didn't always sleep for all that time, sometimes you would work while in bed.

Sicarius growls and shakes his head.

Why does no matter for how briefly he lets his minder wander, it goes back to you? He can't even clear his mind for a moment before it's back on you, what you're doing, the way you look at the people around you; But not at him.

Why?

What do you see in all of them that you don't see in him? He is Cato Sicarius; The commander of the Victrix Honour Guard, the Grand Duke of Talassar, the Master of the Watch. Yet you cast your whoreish gaze to the likes of Titus, a demoted marine with a permanent stain upon his name.

You treat him with respect, issue the bare minimum conversation needed to communicate, before leaving him. Is he not enough for you? Are you scared of him? Why does the idea of you fearing him illicit a feeling that seems negative?

He knows he shouldn't care. That this is all meaningless, but he can't help but want an answer. Why do you keep your most whoreish and sweet smiles for others? Perhaps you know he is too well disciplined to even bother trying. And so you toy with the others, sitting beside them as they shadow you with massive sets of armor, holding a gauntlet of which you can only grasp two fingers.

Sicarius shifts slightly, and feels the way his lower body is tight; He’s hard, pressing against his inner thigh. He feels disgusted with himself that he's allowed this to happen.

You just keep clouding his mind like some sort of malignancy that he can’t remove.

Damn it all.

Sicarius rises from his bed and lets his feet hit the floor, dressing himself before leaving his personal quarters not two hours after he entered.

He knows where your own quarters are by memory despite having never actually entering, storming by anyone in his path to get there. When he does, it’s easy enough for him to override the door lock and enter himself, closing it behind him.

You are just rising in your bed as the door hisses shut, the fabric of your clothes molding to your skin.

You’ve taken off the underclothing for your chest- Sicarius doesn’t know the name - and he can clearly see the outline of your breasts through your clothes.

“What is t- Captain Sicarius?”

He storms closer and as his face becomes more illuminated by the soft light at your bedside, you see his seething expression distorting his stubble-ridden face. The papers you must’ve been working on are sitting on the small table to your side, having been recently abandoned in favor of sleep.

“You."

He points at you and you can almost see the finger shake from how furious he is. Your lips are parted slightly as your mouth gapes from surprise, wide eyes looking between his hand and him.

"You are little more than an Ultramarine branded harlot.”

Your face is shocked and surprised, Sicarius heeds none of it. He can hear your heart racing in his ears as he approaches more and grasps the front of your clothing, pulling it away from your chest. For a brief moment he feels the soft pillowy nature of your breasts pressing against his knuckles, before the fabric is pulled away.

"Captain Sicarius, I, what do you think you're doing?"

He hears you stutter, the crack in in your voice. Now of all times you become shy? Not when you were pressing your hands to Titus' armor and complimenting him? Like you’re begging him to ravish you? Not when you have one of the young, fresh marines toss out a hand for you to grab so you don’t fall?

“I am sick of you throwing yourself at my men like some faithless degenerate. If you want it so badly, then I will give it to you.”

Sicarius leans forward, putting his knee on the bed while he shoves you back down into it. Your head thumps against the pillow, bouncing as the massive astartes moves to cage you underneath him.

Both of you have always been well aware of the size difference of all the astartes of the Macragge's honour, and Guilliman himself; Other than the serfs, occasional other diplomat or Imperial pskyer, everyone aboard the ship towers over you. It is particularly apparent with Sicarius, who shadows you in the near dark with a body significantly wider and taller than your own. He’d never realized just how small you were; Both of his massive hands could circle your entire waist.

“Throwing myself? What are you t-“

The speed in which Sicarius moves a hand to your jaw is enough to pull the air from your lungs.

“Quiet, whore.”

Your hands latch onto his arm, pulling at solid muscle. It doesn’t budge in the slightest, your palms sliding over scars, hair, and the metal of his interface ports. It feels like barely anything at all, your touch is so feather light and soft.

Pulling his hand away from your jaw he reaches and grabs a handful of the fabric of your nightgown, pulling it upward roughly. You could hear the sound of multiple stitches snapping, fabric now bunched at your stomach.

The air on the ship is always cold, but a shiver runs through you as you feel the hot skin of his hand on your waist.

He’s never actually touched you before. He’s never felt your skin with his own, the most he’s done is grab your shoulder with his gauntlets on to guide you someplace. You’re even more fragile that he would expect, you’re nothing compared to his hardened bones and you feel as if you’ll break apart in his hand. Your back arches up to fit his fingers between you and the bed, breathing heavily. Your attire always left little to his imagination, but it’s still different to actually feel.

“How are you still so soft after all this time,” He grumbles.

You have a less taxing job than many aboard the ship, but Sicarius knows that if you could have your way, you’d lay back and let the marines of your retinue use you. If you aren’t already, the way his men follow you around like dogs instead of acting like the way the Emperor’s Angels should gives doubt. The mere thought makes him jealo- furious; For his men not himself, he thinks as he grabs a fistful of his robes.

The front of most astartes robes are tied or wrapped, and so it doesn't take any sort of intense effort from Sicarius to pull the fabric apart, pressing his bare skin to your own.

It’s so hot; It's like his blood is boiling just below the surface of his skin. But is it because of his anger, how much he seems to hate you for reasons indiscernible, or because of something you can feel pressing against your thigh? His cock is already completely hard, tip wet and leaking precum as it slides up your thigh.

He only needs to do this once; Break this curse you have on him. He needs to be able to be around you like are aren't suffocating him.

With little regard Sicarius slips his hand between your thighs and only briefly notes how soft they are, the pillowy flesh of your inner thighs presses against his hand like a blanket rather than hard muscle.

"Sicarius, are you really not going to explain yoursel-"

Your voice cuts off with a shaky inhale as his fingers slip between your outer folds, soft wet velvety skin covered by his hand. It isn't long after his initial touch that his fingers find your entrance and he pushes one inside.

You feel so much softer than he had imagined. So soft that even he in his anger is unconsciously more gentle than he expected, forcing his finger deep into you down to the hilt until his palm presses against you. Your body wraps around him like velvet fabric, warm and hot. When he moves, your thighs tense and shake, but you're still trapped in the cage made by his body.

"I don't need to explain myself to you," He says, and you quickly combat him with:

"You do when you storm into my room and try to-"

He pushes a second finger inside of you, and your throat shakes with a moan as you feel that aching stretch of being just under your limit. He feels the way you tighten around him, and even in his lack on knowhow, Sicarius can tell that it will be a tight fit for him inside you.

Why do you have to be so damn small? It just furthers his worri- complaints that you're so easily hurt, and need to be so heavily protected from even minor damage.

Even he's hurt you, he can see the bruise starting to blossom on your jaw where he grabbed you a bit too hard, though you don't seem to mind. You're too busy panting, grasping at his arms as his two fingers curl inside your cunt. It's like you're trying to pull him in deeper, you just want more and more because you're his little wh-

Perhaps impatient, Sicarius pulls his two fingers from you and feels the way your thighs tremble, and the way you've covered his fingers and some of his palm in that sweet stickiness. For the briefest, most minute moment, he wonders how it might taste.

His wipes them off on the blankets below him, before grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him. You can feel the weight of his cock against your inner thigh until he moves to slide it along your folds, slicking himself with the wetness he pulled from you. Suddenly Sicarius shakes his head, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

The room smells, entrenched in this sweet, salty smell that radiates from you in waves. It's intoxicating, the way it screams at him that you want to be fucked, you want to be turned over bent over you little whore you just want him finally you want h-

Sicarius presses the head of his cock against your entrance and pushes slightly, feeling the way he can slowly sink into your tight heat once he pops past the tight ring of your entrance. Though it is still a stretch. Astartes are big, and they match suitably. Your neck is tense, collarbone prominent as your muscles flex.

"Fuck- that's, that's too big..."

He only manages to force half of his cock into you when you already start complaining about feeling full, it being too much, but he continues to push and go farther beyond until you feel like he's threatening to push into your stomach.

"You'll take it- I'm not leaving till you do."

Eventually his hips press against the back of your thighs when he's fully sheathed inside of you, and he can hear your breath rattle in your lungs and your singular heartbeat against your ribcage like the pistons in an engine. Badum badum badum, he hears as his cock throbs inside of you.

Sicarius pulls himself out barely halfway before flicking his hips back towards you, listening to the way you suddenly keen underneath him. You tighten and leak around him, your pillowy cunt swallowing him whole. He hears the sound of his own skin slapping against your own as he drives himself deeper, and each time you squeal as his massive body forces your thighs apart.

"By the t- Sicarius,"

You can't help the way you tense, your stomach turns and tightens in knots as the head of his cock threatens to knock against your cervix. He can see tears pricking in your eyes; You don't get to whine about him being too much, you wanted this, you begged for it with those pretty dresses and sweet smiles, you wanton harlot. You keep begging, as your hands grip his thick forearms to keep yourself steady as he thrusts into you.

He had imagined once what it would be like to rip those dresses off of you, and the curse of his memory means he'll never forget that pondering. He'd have to wrap you in the fabric of his cape, hiding your body from everyone but him-

"You're too big, I can't-"

You're whining, tears prick your eyes but your cunt is soaked, leaking down his cock, your well thought out words and demure voice turned into helpless ramblings as you lay beneath him thighs spread for your better, your superior; Pulling him in with your greedy cunt.

"You can," He grips your hip tight and pulls you to meet him halfway into his thrust and listens to you let out a broken moan. "And you will."

Your eyes have been fluttering open and closed for much of this, unable to look at him directly in the eyes for long. But even now Sicarius' eyes drift downward, distracted by the shape of your barely parted lips. They're so soft looking, unscarred, and he finds himself pulled in before he even realizes.

Sicarius finally kisses you for the first time, pressing his lips to yours as his hips smack against your thighs. He rests on his forearm to get lower, while his other hand still grips your waist.

You’re frozen at first, before your hands move to knit into his cropped hair and you press back into him. He bites the inside of his cheek hard enough that he bleeds- tasting metal before it instantly coagulates. He’s rough, forceful- his teeth are dangerously close to hitting your own, he catches your bottom lip between his and hears the way you whimper.

“Cato…”

You speak against his lips, the bow of his upper lip brushing across your own. The stubble against his jawline scratches your skin, as your lips grow puffier from his less than gentle treatment of them.

He pulls away from you, your spit on his lips while his forehead rests on yours.

“I, I thought you hated me,”

You say, nails digging into the skin at the nape of his neck, just above the scars he has from the surgery for his black carapace. If the light was brighter in your room, you might've been able to see the grayish tint to his skin where you could see it underneath the surface. His voice sounds angry and confused when he responds.

...Does he hate you?

“I… don’t know.” His voice almost tremors, confused within himself.

If not for the circulated air of the Macragge's Honour always being so frigid, you're sure you would feel even hotter than you already did, as Sicarius traps you in a cage beneath him, radiating body heat. His arm rests close to your head, while the other grips your hip to keep him from accidentally pushing you away as he humps into you.

His forehead slides from your own to the side of your head, and you can hear his heavy breathing in your ear as he pushes his cock deeper into you than anything else has previously. The wet noises and skin on skin fill the previously silent room other than the humming of pipes in the ceiling and walls, and the sound of animalistic grunting from an astartes you thought hated you.

He does hate you. He hates you so much for doing this to him, but he's the one who's failing, who fell to the temptation rutting into you like an animal-

Sicarius groans as you somehow get even tighter than you were, feeling the way a shiver runs through your entire body as you cum on him. Your nails leave little marks that will leave in moments, though he knows the smell of your wet cunt will stick on him far longer.

"By the throne, you are too damn tight,"

Sicarius continues through it even as you gasp, nails digging into his skin. He goes faster and faster, your soft skin will surely be bruised tomorrow but you keep begging for more, as he snaps his hips into you and pushes himself as deep as he can possibly go. He lets out a shaking groan, and you feel him finally empty himself inside of you.

It's hot, there's so much; You feel limp underneath him as he keeps cumming inside of you. When he slowly tries to pull out you whimper, the feeling of emptiness and the way the moment the head of his cock slips out of you, the seed he left behind slowly dribbles out of you and onto the bed.

Sicarius, for a man barged into your room and humped into you like an animal in rut, clams up the emotions he showed to much of and looks away.

“You should wash. Titus will be able to smell me on you.”

You look up at him confused, leaning up just slightly before stopping. He can see spit from his kisses on the corners of your mouth, lips swollen and hair messy.

“Why would that matter?”

Sicarius goes to laugh, though he quickly cuts it off when he notices that instead of becoming angry like you normally would, you get withdrawn.

“You don’t think he’ll mind that his cute little diplomat is off with other Astartes?”

The collar of your nightdress is stretched and uneven, and you push down the bottom of it away from your stomach so it covers the mess he left between your legs. Or you at least try to, but you grimace when you attempt to lift your hips enough to push it down. Sicarius leans forward and gently tugs on it for you, snapping more seams but succeeding in covering your sore, cum slicked thighs.

"No, Titus was only being nice since he knew I was having trouble dealing with everything that's happened. Primarch Guilliman has been," You look away for a moment at the papers at your bedside, that are now scattered across the floor.

"He's been giving me so much to ease his burdens and believe me I am honoured to serve him, it's just- it's been overwhelming. Titus had just offered me an ear so I could vent." You look at him confused, brow furrowed and lips parted.

"You didn't think we were... Did you?"

Sicarius looks at you, at the concerned expression on your face. Your body is swollen and sore from his abuse even as gentle as he was, he can smell the salt of sweat on your skin.

With one smooth motion Sicarius shifts himself to get off your bed and stand, wrapping his robes about around him in an acceptable enough fashion for a captain.

"Cato?"

You raise up higher, sitting up and curling your legs to the side. He turns to leave, but that damn demure, worried voice of yours stops him. He doesn't even care that you're using his first name, calling him so casually.

"Can you stay for a minute?" He turns and looks at you with that neutral astartes expression.

"Why?" You blow a breath of air through your lips that makes them shake.

"Dammit Cato just, can you? Please?"

He watches you for a moment, as you wipe the corner of your mouth.

Eventually however he turns fully around and walks closer, standing at your bedside and towering over you. You swallow and he can see the knot in your throat move, before you look up at him and start talking.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Just wanted to tell you that pitch fefnep is real as fuck and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention.

Are there any other pitch ships you seriously live for?

My big one is Eridan <3< Calliope (#callidan let's make it happen)! There's a lot of karmic stuff linking them together - I'm not going to say it ALL here, but suffice to mention that cherubs are naturally attracted pitch-wise to people who resemble the half they lost in predomination, and Eridan literally made his username "cal" (caligula, so it's even 8 letters, lmao).

Personality-wise, though, fully-character-developed Eridan and Calliope are like a match made in hell. Eridan is violent, obsessed with murder, deliberately likes to style himself as an arrogant, evil despot, says a lot of slurs, is a complete moron who doesn't listen to people but believes in stuff very very strongly anyways, and, assuming he's finished his character arc, somehow still manages to be a force for good. This makes him similar to Caliborn in a lot of ways (Hussie even calls Eridan a sort of proto-Caliborn MULTIPLE times in the book commentary), and Calliope would have a lot to get infuriated by, especially since that last point would give Eridan that "i hate everything about you, BUT..." factor that makes a pitch relationship work.

OTOH, Calliope gets super fucking smug when she starts winning, Eridan would 100% see her as a poser wizard (who needs to load their MAGIC WAND with BULLETS????) as well as a poser troll. She would also definitely adopt a stance of "every life is precious," and already displayed compassion and forgiveness to a dangerous degree wrt Caliborn, and all of this would probably piss Eridan off. Also, Eridan is easy, and the fact that Calliope is actually willing to entertain him in pitch at all is probably enough to get him to date her in blackrom all by itself. LBR, all it really takes to date Eridan is just being willing to date Eridan. This is both a low and high bar to clear.

Given that murdering and genocide-obsessing literally kept his friends alive long enough to play the game, I just can't see Eridan ever becoming a pacifist, or even coming to see murder as a bad thing (even if he'd feel bad about and apologize for murdering his friends specifically).

It'd also be pretty bad if the Hope player (ideals, convictions, faith, and also turning fake stuff real) had wrong beliefs, so Eridan's character arc wouldn't so much see his obsession with murder dropped so much as having it reoriented, his focus becoming "I care about my friends and will do anything to make sure they succeed in creating a better world. I'd kill for them. I will kill for them. I am going to kill for them."

He's still kind of a token evil teammate as a result - the guy who pipes up at every town hall to go, "y'know, murder is on the table. I'm not saying that I want to do it or even that we should, but I'm just reminding you that it's a tool in our arsenal, and something our enemies might resort to" as well as the debbie downer who reminds people that meat comes from animals that used to have families.

Plus, given that his hipster stuff ties in with being a Hope player - the staunch and firm beliefs in there being "better" stuff, the unshakeable conviction and dedication toward being anti-mainstream, and the fact that it's one of his few genuine interests besides magic - that trait actually gets exacerbated in lieu of the fake pro-empire, dualscar-emulating stuff he was doing before.

So, basically, Eridan given the full redemption arc + character development combo would spit out an Eridan that's MORE annoying than he was before? Because, like, not only is he a turbo pretentious hipster now, but he's also the "heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made an excellent point" guy. He's comfortable in his own skin, no longer trying to be something he isn't. Instead, with absolute, non-negotiable, unshakeable faith in himself, he is 100% of what he is.

"What he is," of course, being a neurotic, murder-obsessed, low-empathy lunatic with zero social skills, a pretentious hipster, a cringe-ass wizard who won't shut up about it and has no self-awareness of how cringe he's being, still 100% aggro 100% of the time, and an obsessive simp. In a very leftist/existentialist way, he would fully own up to having done horrible things, and being willing to do them again, should the circumstances call for them. "Shameless" is probably a good word to use, here.

Meanwhile, Calliope is genuinely well-meaning as fuck, even if she doesn't fully grasp things like "humans going trickster mode is bad actually" and that her fascination/obsession with the trolls and kids as "characters" still borders on dehumanizing.

Still, it's clear that she operates from a place of love and admiration, and given a lease on life free from her brother and surrounded by friends, I do genuinely believe Calliope's arc culminates in her being the embodiement of the ideas that we must be good to each other, kind to each other, loving to each other, and trust and care for each other. After all, she has it within her; her alternate self was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the good of several universes.

Still, Calliope as this cosmic, karmic force of good - what the comic ultimately exonorates and treats as something worthy of protection and rescue - sets her up against Eridan ideologically really well. Calliope represents "we must do good" in the most optimistic sense - people will be kind back if you are kind to them, and to create a loving society, a caring society, we must care about others, we must believe in others.

Meanwhile, Eridan would represent "we must do good" in the most dark and pessimistic sense - we must be prepared to sacrifice for each other, we hold duties to one another, we must be our best selves because we owe it to each other, we must not accept complacency, we must be ever-vigilant of our worst tendencies, we must take responsibility. No society exists without sacrifice, no revolution is without bloodshed, and nothing is ever worth fighting for that won't eventually need to be fought for - and who will do the fighting? The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools, etc.

Like how pitch FefNep works for me on this axis of pragmatism vs. idealism - Feferi and Nepeta are both fundamentally duking it out over what it means to create and administer a society, with Nepeta representing unbridled freedom, while Feferi brings to the table controlling restraint. Neither is fully correct on their own - Nepeta is anarchic, and so her ideals are inherently unstable, while Feferi is fascistic, which can cause great harm. It's Hegalian dialectics. Thesis, antithesis, and their union/rivalry is the synthesis into a greater nuanced balance between the two.

Callidan works for me in the same way: Calliope and Eridan are both fundamentally aiming to create a world that's good, and Calliope says, we must be kind, while Eridan says, we must be cruel. They're both correct, and both have an ideal that can't stand on its own. Calliope's hardline stance of pure compassion lets bad apples take advantage, while Eridan's hardline stance of sacrifice and personal responsibility leads to misery and unfulfillment. Together, they strike a harmony.

And also they'd be so funny together. Like

UU: i believe that in order to create a kind and beaUtifUl world, we mUst be kind to each other. we mUst believe in each other no matter what. there is no fUtUre if it is not boUnd in love, trUst, and empathy.

CA: yeah fuckin right dont tell me you actually BELIEVVE that codswwallop those ideals sure held up wwhen wwe MURDERED THE EVVER LOVVIN SHIT OUTTA YOUR BROTHER

CA: reality aint so fuckin simple evvery societys got sacrifices need doin evvil bastards need killin and somebodys got to pull the trigger

UU: i swear, speaking with yoU is aboUt as pleasant as a sandpaper facial.

UU: and yet i continUe to do so, and do yoU know why? it's becaUse i do, in fact, believe in what i said, and i will, in fact, continUe to treat yoU with *love and compassion* despite yoUr repeated efforts to throw mine into the bin!!!!!!!!!!!

CA: i nevver asked for your so called lovve and compassion skullhag and i dont bloody need it either

UU: well, that's jUst too bad, isn't it? poor eridan, yoU were treated so poorly on alternia, and now yoU're angry and Upset all the time. my heart aches for yoUr plight!

CA: ill showw you a flippin PLIGHT scumskull meet me at the usual place

UU: <kisses> ~3U

UU's computer exploded!

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering caligulasAquarium [CA]

UU: STOP DOING THAT.

Also... they're both British... so it's British on British violence... IDK that personally really elevates it for me

[cupcakeshakesnake]

HELLO UM-

Your little Harbour PotC AU gives me absolute life, just for the record. Even tho i am very very late, thank you for making it :D

There is a headcanon I got that wouldn't leave my brain after looking at your art, originating from that one conversation between Beckett and Jack where there were some implications about canon being everyone’s previous lives. Whether this is actually a part of your au or not, it got me thinking eheheh

Theoretically, (perhaps in an au of an au, if this headcanon contradicts your lore,) what if your au and canon were the same 'verse, just several hundred years later? And what if not everybody were on their second life?

We obviously have a sprinkling of supernatural stuff, so what if the secretly-a-goddess Calypso and immortally-cursed Davy Jones were the OGs that they were in the films? Like, Davy Jones maybe came back somehow (as per movie 5's end-credit scene lol) and took back the role of the Dutchman's Captian after Will went back to Shipwreck Cove. All is good.

He learned his lesson now and actually does his job of ferrying souls. As times changed, so did his ship, in some magical way. She's no longer a sailing ship, and he'll always miss that, but he doesn't mind all that much. His crew usually only stay for that 100 yr contract, so he's seen plenty of sailors come and go. Eventually, he even hires living mortals. Less people die at sea, so by the 20th century, Jones takes a mortal job as a fisherman (or whatever his job is in your au) as well.

Whether or not he knows about the whole reincarnation thing doesn't really matter; the day he employs a familiar man by the name of Bill Turner, he chalks it up to coincidence. Even if Bill has a son named William, well- it's been 200 years, perhaps it's just a really really big coincidence. Either way, it doesn't matter to him.

It's not until he's docked in a small, out-of-the-way harbour, and three troublemaking kids sneak onto the Dutchman that he finally realises. Bill's boy, on his own, is just a matter of coincidence. Those three, together? It's unmistakable. And as bothersome those three pirates were, so long ago, I'd like to think that he looks back on that age, on those people, with some kind of fondness.

(Until he discovers they can be the most INFURIATING little gremlins he's ever met in all his centuries. But he'll find that out later.)

Anyway I drew it :D Have my humble, scribbly offerings.

(I feel bad about running away with this, even as just a headcanon-of-an-au, please don't take this as a 'you should do this' lmao, it's just me adoring all of your content it makes my brain go brrr you are amazing thankyou!!!)

This is so lovely 😭😭😭

The idea of Calypso and Jones being the same ones from canon but just... having had a lot of time to chill down and have a second chance is so??? Imagine what Jones must be thinking looking at those kids... this is so bittersweet (but mostly sweet)

I'm sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to write a proper reply expressing just how much I love this but couldn't get around to it. Hope you don't mind me posting this publicly; I need everyone else to see this as well.

[choccy-milky]

I know there's some parts of your fanfiction where Clora has some passing feelings of jealousy because of a comment or two made by background characters towards Sebastian, but I was wondering how you think Clora and Sebastian would genuinely react to a situation where someone was actively trying to pursue him? I was just curious since the raven and the snake have a good bit of people chasing after Clora and Sebastian being jealous (cough physically violent cough)

BAHAHA seb doesnt get physically violent when he gets jealous, he just gets irritated and petty LOL. gotta defend my boi for a sec, hes only gotten physically violent twice, and once was when clora was being blackmailed/SA'd, and the other was when he was corrupted by the relic, so it wasnt REALLYYYY him.

BUT to answer the question, this is what happens when clora gets jealous LOOL basically its: she gets jealous > knows that its unfounded and seb wouldn't reciprocate, so she keeps her feelings to herself > but still cant help but feel down about it > seb catches on and makes sure to reassure her. and seb would 1000% be willing to just never talk to the other girl ever again if thats what it took BAHAHA but obvs clora would reject that and tell him thats way too extreme. and altho seb thinks its cute when cloras jealous, he also doesnt like making her feel that way, since he considers it a sort of failure on his part (like, if ur feeling jealous, it means im not proving that i love you enough LMAO) whereas for when seb gets jealous, its: he gets jealous > tells clora of his suspicions / that the dude is trying to get with her > clora tries to reassure him that its nothing, and that its all just platonic (bc it IS from her POV, whether the dude actually likes her or not, bc shes naive af) > seb has no choice but to put up with it LOL bc he's self-aware and knows he gets jealous easily, and accepts that he might be overreacting, but he'll still keep an eye on it regardless. he trusts clora but he doesnt trust the guys, and unlike seb, clora wouldnt stop talking to someone she considered a friend just bc seb THINKS they like her. unless the dude is straight up asking her out/being super bold and obvious about it, clora would just default to 'oh hes just being friendly😇 LMAO. basically seb is too jealous and clora is too naive and they both know this about themselves and each other, so they kinda have to meet in the middle on these things HAHA. for seb its like yeah fine, i might think every guy has nefarious intentions, but YOU also think every guy is completely pure and has absolutely NO romantic intentions ever LOL. but they know this so it works out LMAO (plus even if it is slightly infuriating for each other at times, seb still finds cloras naivety/innocence endearing, and clora also finds sebs possessiveness/jealousy endearing as well🥰) also unrelated but i finally changed my pfp after a year and its cracking me up. that is all

[genericpuff]

I’m gonna have to disagree with you that Kaos is any better than LO. It’s all the same bull crap.

Kaos just seems like live-action LO, both having a boring storyline with bad or fetishized characterizations of the Greek Gods and figures, and both looking artistically beautiful and some cool concepts, but badly executed. The only difference is that Kaos has more LGBTQIA+ themes than LO, has a tiny bit more Greek references, and gets much darker. That’s pretty much it.

As a Greek who studies our myths and stories extensively, I’m tired of the west trying to take and rearrange our stories and retell them ‘with a modern, western lense’. It’s exhausting and infuriating.

It’s time the west gets over its fascination with us and move on.

Fair opinion! Honestly, the initial post I made about it was after only watching the first couple episodes. Now that I've finished it, I can definitely see actual glaring issues with it, both in their characterizations as well as in how they kind of lose the intrigue after a few episodes of the setting and elements of them being gods. Which are all issues that LO have as well.

Though I will say, LO has those issues far more than Kaos does, but what really separates LO from Kaos, in my opinion - the creators of Kaos aren't pretending that Kaos is more than it is. To me, Kaos isn't in any way a singular Greek myth retelling, more so a fun "Greek epic" style story featuring the gods in a modern setting, the way LO could have been if Rachel hadn't tried to make it into something bigger than it was (and if she didn't put herself on a pedestal as a "self proclaimed folklorist"). I can watch Kaos and appreciate it as a fun Greek myth inspired piece of media because that's pretty much all it's trying to be. Meanwhile LO gives us middle-school-level writing with very little real Greek myth influence (aside from what it benefits Rachel to do so) that even goes so far as to outright disrespect the myths that they were based on... all the while people praise it as the greatest Greek myth retelling ever.

I think Kaos is miles better than LO because it at least tells a more coherent story than LO ever could have, with a lot more attention paid to the stylization of a Greek epic (compared to LO which tried and failed to implement those same things, such as the Fates, self-fulfilling prophecies, and witty narration as to retell a story that's already happened).

Granted, that story still takes a lot of liberties with the source material (some that I enjoyed, others not so much), but in that regard, I refer to the above - Kaos isn't trying to be an actual retelling like LO did, so I view it the same way I do as something like Hercules or Hades, where the people who made it clearly love Greek myth and wanted to do some Greek myth-inspired story with their own twists on the narratives, and it paid off in a story that, in spite of their flaws, still feels intentional and thought out.

LO, by comparison, is just a mess of ripped off half-baked ideas thrown at a wall and filled in with self-fulfilling power fantasy garbage written by someone who claims to have deeper knowledge of the myths but clearly doesn't. It's hard to enjoy LO in spite of its flaws because it's all flaws and they're so deeply-rooted in the context of Rachel's own biases and sexual preferences that you really can't separate it from that once you know if it.

I do have some criticisms of Kaos and some of its more creative choices - Hera cheating on Zeus with Poseidon (literally wtf lmao), Persephone still being the "I went down there willingly!" archetype (though at least she's not 19 in this, the casting for her and Hades was great), as well as the fact that things weren't wrapped up by the end of the first season which really bums me out because now it's up to the mercy of Netflix to give it that second season - but ultimately, from a story-writing perspective, Kaos absolutely did accomplish having an actual narrative with themes and goal-driven writing that LO failed in having. That comparison doesn't make Kaos a 100% perfect show without flaw, but I made the comparison initially anyways because much of what I enjoyed in Kaos was what I expected from LO (and ultimately didn't get).

That's just my own two cents though! And I need to make it clear - I am not a Greek person! I have no say or merit within the discussion regarding Greek myth and how it's been appropriated!! - so ultimately... my opinion of these things really aren't as valuable as someone who actually is Greek or studied heavily in it.

So that said, I can completely see the merit in your own arguments that a lot of these "modern retellings" tend to miss the point of the stories they're trying to retell (esp with the criticisms I outlined above) and are often chewed up through a Western lens. The lesser of two evils is still evil. But if we're purely talking Kaos vs. Lore Olympus here as modern entertainment that are both attempting similar things... I'd be way more likely to rewatch and recommend one over the other. Plus there are a lot of adaptions out there made by Westerners / non-Greeks that are incredible and are, at the very least, amazing stepping stones into the world of Greek myth for those who want to learn more about it. Out of the pool of ongoing modern Greek myth retellings/inspired works - Blood of Zeus, Hades/Hades 2, Kaos, Epic: The Musical, Hadestown, Hercules, Percy Jackson & The Olympians, and Lore Olympus - it's not hard to guess which one I'd be the least likely to recommend as gateways into Greek mythology. If those titles were organized in a list of best to worst, Kaos isn't at the top of that list, but it's sure as shit higher than LO 💀😆

[sassycheesecake]

A/N: As requested by my followers, here’s my bday special yakuza!Suna smut! (It sounds like a dish lmao, also happy bday to 25 year old me yay) The characters are like in their mid-twenties! P.S. I had way too many ideas for writing this, so I am gonna divide it into two parts :'D

Warnings: non-explicit sexual content, cursing, enemies to lovers trope, mentions of sex

You absolutely despise him.

He’s an infuriating, stupidly attractive, arrogant jerk.

Even his name leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

Rintarō Suna. 

Henchman of ruthless yakuza boss Shinsuke Kita, he is a highly intelligent strategist with rather unfortunate good looks that could make any girl swoon as soon as he looked their way. 

Too bad for all the females that Suna doesn’t do relationships, only fucking with no strings attached. 

He’s the only one in the group who brings company back to his room, claiming he has 'needs' and it’s a good stress relief.

You couldn’t care less, it’s not like you have a thing for Suna. 

He uses women and throws them away like paper, his body count is probably higher than the Spanish flu. 

You’re walking down the dimly-lit hallway, passing by an expensive painting towards his room.

When you get closer, you hear the sound of a moaning woman, along with the constant creaking of a bed. 

Immediately, your stomach twists in a weird way and you take deep breaths before hammering your fist against his door.

You hear a startled yelp of the woman and thankfully the creaking stops.

"What?!" Suna snaps loudly from inside his room.

"Suna, get your ass out of there. Kita called for a meeting 20 minutes ago. Send your visitor home and get a move on!" You yell back in frustration.

You wait for about seven minutes before the door opens, and a bright red-headed woman emerges from the room, hair all tousled up with cheeks colored almost as red as her hair.

She is unmistakably beautiful, you unfortunately have to admit. 

She looks a little bit guilty when she looks at you, not saying a word as she brushes past you in a hurry to leave. 

When you look back inside Suna’s room, the air smells heavy with sex and frustration from Suna's side, not exactly happy that you interrupted his hook-up session.

"You know, you’re such a manwhore." You say, with a voice full of anger and jealousy, after the woman has left.

"And proud of it sweetheart." Suna begins to pull up his discarded boxers and black jeans again, turning away from you, so his broad muscled back faces you.

Along with lots of scars of fights he has been in, his massive tattoo always amazes you.

It’s two giant vipers entangled with each other, mouths open so fangs are on display. At the bottom of the vipers, a red demon skull with a nasty snarl is staring right into the viewers face. Along on top of the skull are two horns, looking like they grew out of the skull. Two arrows go through the vipers, not hurting them but so the reptiles curl around them. It represents deceptive authority. 

"Enjoying the view?" Suna's teasing tone rips you out of your daydream.

"You wish. Kita has called us into a meeting and you weren’t picking up your phone when Aran has tried to call you multiple times." You cross your arms in front of your chest as you watch him getting dressed. 

Pulling his discarded maroon hoodie over his upper body, he faces you again with his usual bored expression. Aka what you call his resting-bitch-face.

"Let’s go fuckboy. Kita is waiting for us and with every damn second I spend waiting for you, he grows more agitated. Ever since his girl has left him, he’s been more moody, impatient and impulsive than usual." In the last part of your sentence, you drop the volume of your voice. 

Suna finally finishes putting on his sneakers and steps out of his room to lock the door and follow you to the conference room.

"I can’t understand how you can have sex with someone who screams so loud, I’d probably get my eardrums busted if my partner screamed so loud." You start the conversation.

"Think you sound better?" Suna grins at you with those beautiful dark emerald eyes of his, while still walking beside you to the conference room.

"I KNOW I sound better! At least I don’t scream like a cat in heat when I orgasm." You huff and fast the pace in your steps.

"I don’t care how loud they are, as long as I can fuck them and they leave, I could give less a shit." The brunette fastens his steps, so he is walking next to you again, making your shoulder brush with his side occasionally.

Silence from your side for a few seconds before Suna starts talking again.

"By the way. Why are you so uptight? Haven’t had a good fuck in a while?" He taunts you as he leans closer to your face.

You ignore his comment, finally arriving at the conference room.

When you open the door, you see Kita leaning his head against his propped up fist on his table and at the sound of the door opening, his brown eyes snap towards you. 

His eyes are very cold and it gives you shivers every time you look at him.

Suna shortly follows after you and without any acknowledgment to his boss, he sits in the seat next to Osamu. 

"Finally." Kita sighs and leans back in his chair. Finally all of the Inarizaki members have arrived, sitting at the long white-gray marble table, with Kita sitting at the head of the table. 

The last unoccupied chair was next to Riseki, who gives you a small smile as you sit down next to him.

Kita stands up and walks around a little bit, starting to talk.

"The reason why I called you all in here is because Inarizaki will soon expand its territory. With Shiratorizawa and Nohebi gone, all that is left is Karasuno and Itachiyama." Some of the members listen intently to him, others like Suna pulling out his phone, typing on it with a bored expression.

"So what are we going to do about them?" Aran asks from Riseki's left side. 

"I had a talk with Iizuna last night. We have come to a mutual agreement of joining forces together." Kita answers, stopping at the window to look outside.

"What? Ya serious?! Those snobby bastards only care for their own fuckin' profit!" Atsumu sneers madly.

Kita looks at Atsumu through his peripheral vision briefly before returning his gaze back outside.

"I know that some of you may have a problem with that, but Karasuno has gotten too much power in the last two years. Sawamura is stealing most of our customers away and by joining forces together with Itachiyama, we will be able to take over half of Japan, soon maybe the whole of Japan. Eliminate them one by one, pray you do not disappoint me.”

“What about their newest product ‘Spikedopamine’? I heard that’s the newest shit in town. Is that why our sales have dropped so much?” Akagi states, who sits on your right.

Ginjima and Atsumu who sit across from you, start laughing hysterically at the name that they chose for the newest drug they produced. The name-founder Kageyama used to play volleyball back in high school, where most of the crows have met and formed their group. 

“That’s the stupidest name I ever heard!” Atsumu manages to say while getting tears in his eyes.

Ginjima and Atsumu keep on laughing until Omimi shoots them a sharp glare, while Kita looks at them with an undefined expression.

Ginjima immediately stops, while Atsumu’s laugh turns into a nervous chuckle, stopping after a while as well.

It’s quiet for a while before Kita starts to speak again.

“I will divide you into teams and you will all work together with Itachiyama. Iizuna and I already made the teams.”

Kita walks back to his chair to sit down and reaches for the few folders that Aran has slid over to his boss.

“Team 1, the Surveillance Team. Osamu, you will go with Akagi, Kosaku, Omimi and Komori from Itachiyama. He’s a black-hat hacker, he can help you hack into their security system and download important files, steal information and hack into their bank accounts.” 

The names of the men that were called begin to stand up, since Osamu sits on Kita’s left side at the head of the table, he grabs the folder that Kita has provided him.

“And Team 2, which will be the Assault Team, will consist of Atsumu, (Y/N), Suna and Sakusa from Itachiyama. He's a weapons specialist, expert interrogator and master strategist.” Kita slides the folder to you, since Suna is still on his phone, showing it to Atsumu, who grins mischievously at the screen. 

“Aran, Riseki and Ginjima, you stay here at headquarters, in case someone gets injured, you can take over. That will be all.” Kita, Aran, Riseki and Ginjima begin to get up to return to their rooms while you and your assigned team remain seated.

Well this is fucking great. 

You’re stuck with a psycho, a manwhore and an arrogant jackass for God knows how long, until you all bring the downfall for Karasuno.

[uunromanticized]

Could you do a Adrien/chat noir x female reader x marionette/ladybug fighting for your attention in school and out of school like during and akumatization

hello! i can try; although personally the akumatization part might be difficult, i have a hard time seeing marinette as the type to do so while fighting! but yesyes let’s see! i wanted to make it polyamory at first because i am biased but alas….. not much of a plot. like anywhere. just a lot of the reader being annoyed LMAO

they drive me crazy (adrien/reader/marinette)

“hey, (name)! do you want to go to my parents bakery after school? they came out with some new macarons that i knowwww are your favourite flavour!”

“sorry, marinette; but they’ve already agreed to go to the park with me today.”

you sighed as you rubbed your temples. good heavens, it was nine in the morning and you were already dealing with these two!

“oh, that’s- that’s okay! how about thursday then?”

“I’ve got them thursday, too.”

maybe this a, b schedule was a mistake. you rubbed your temples for the second time in the past five minutes, you put in a schedule for yourself that alternated between the two of them.

perhaps you shouldn’t have let it get to where you NEEDED a schedule, but you didn’t necessarily mind; the two weren’t bad company, quite the opposite, actually. some of your closest friends, it only got slightly overwhelming and annoying whenever they both cut the other off with a triumphant look on their face to say you were busy that day.

for christ’s sake, you felt like a child between divorced parents!

taking one last deep breath you look at marinette with a sympathetic look “sorry, mari; but hey, we can stop by during lunch?”

“you know we don’t go off campus for lunch!” she protested while pouting slightly.

“nobody outside of those here have to know.” you winked while putting a finger to your lips, “orrrr, we could just stop by instead of going to the eiffel tower the next time we hang out.” you said with a smile, knowing what the answer would be already.

“fiiiiine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

you hit your head with your spear with a groan. seriously, you already had to deal with marinette and adrien being clingy and one-upping one another in regards to you during the day, and now you had to deal with ladybug and chat? for real??

“sorry, bugaboo, but i think they prefer my company! i happen to be the cats meow~”

“not with those puns, they don’t.”

“there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my puns! they’re purrfect!” chat gasped in an overly offended manner.

“GUYS! guys! seriously, if you haven’t noticed, there’s currently a clown trying to kill us!” you exclaimed like an annoyed mother scolding her children, because you might as well have been! it was absolutely infuriating!

the two looked at eachother as if saying “this wasn’t over” before nodding and lunging at the clown, with you rolling your eyes before following.

they weren’t the most coordinated pair, but they only had eyes for you after all.

[d4rkdi0rrr]

First off I just want to say I LOVED you’re other Leo x reader writing 😭

Could you write a sort of enemies (they just argue a lot lol) to friends to lovers with Leo on the Argo. Like maybe he’s blasting country music like 24/7 while he works and the reader hates it (sorry to any country music lovers lmao). Or like the reader is one room down from him and she just hears the power tools going all night. And maybe the reader ticks him off too because she like keeps breaking her weapons, or starts playing loud music to retaliate idk. But then one day they are paired together for night patrol or cleaning duty. Leo’s like “dude why do you hate me so much??” and the readers like “who said I hate you??

(Sorry if this is long I’m horrible at explaining things lol 😭)

he hates me, he hates me not

(im glad you liked the leo x reader fic and thank u sm for this request! it was a little rushed so i apologise in advance but it was rlly fun to write <3)

leo valdez x fem!reader

cw: arguing, enemies to lovers, swearing, reader cabin not specified, not proof read

_______

Leo Valdez was infuriating to say the least.

You had agreed to join the quest, thinking that you and Leo could become good friends. What was there to dislike? He could be funny (at times), cared about his friends and had a nice face (something you would never admit out loud). But boy were you wrong. He held some sort of personal vendetta against you, ticking you off on purpose, making your life a literal living hell. You had no idea why he hated you so much.

"Maybe he likes you," Piper giggled, fanning her freshly painted nails. You two, along with Hazel and Annabeth were in Piper's room, having a girl's night.

"Me and Percy were like that before we got together too, y'know," Annabeth agreed, grabbing a cookie from the box that was sat beside your position on the bed.

"Oh please," you scoffed. "You guys know how much he pisses me off. It's too bad he has such a pretty face - oh shit." Realising what you'd said out loud, you immediately covered your face with your hands. "Please forget what I just said."

"Aww, someone's got a crush!" Squealed Hazel, throwing a pillow at you, "we are never letting you live this down."

You rolled your eyes at her. Just as you were about to grab the last cookie, the door flew open, along with the sweaty grime-covered bane of your existence.

"Pipes, have you seen Buford? He ran off with my tool belt. Are those cookies?" He reached an arm out towards the cookie box faster than the speed lightning, and before you could stop him, he'd taken the last cookie. Darn it. He looked around the room before his gaze fell upon you, to which he wrinkled up his face. "I wasn't aware that we let aliens in on this ship."

"Fuck off, Valdez," you grumbled. You weren't in the mood to argue with him right now. He'd taken the last damn cookie and now your evening was ruined. "Says the abominable fuck face. Buford isn't here. Go away before I punch your face in."

"Alright, alright, good night to y'all." Leo winked before saying, "except for you, Y/N, of course." You threw a pillow at the closing door.

_______

It was currently 1 am on the Argo, and Leo had been tinkering away in his room beside you. To be honest, the occasional sounds of the metal clinking and clattering was quite relaxing. It was the loud country music blasting, making you want to crawl under your bed and stuff cotton in your ears that was truly insufferable.

You weren't about to let go of the absolutely appetizing thought of sleep escape you, so naturally, you got up and knocked loudly on Leo's door.

"Come in!" you heard over the loud music. You entered his room and looked around, disgusted. The ground was absolutely trashed and looked like the equivalent of a war zone. "Oh, it's you."

"Can you please turn this horrible music down?" you tried to yell over the obnoxious music. "I'm trying to sleep."

"No can do!" he yelled back. "It helps me concentrate. Get out of my room!"

You huffed (which Leo thought was absolutely adorable) and slammed the door closed.

Back in your own cabin, you accepted the fact that you were going to wake up looking like a sleep deprived rat. However, maybe you were hallucinating or delusional but you swear you heard the volume lower before drifting off to sleep.

_______

"Not you again," you groaned as you saw the first locks of Leo's curly hair from the top of the ladder. "I thought I was on duty with Frank."

"We're stuck with each other I guess," Leo shrugged cheerfully, plopping down next to you. The night breeze was cooling on your face and you felt like the main character in a movie as the wind gently kissed your hair. For once, you actually didn't mind his presence. Then: "Dude, why do you hate me so much?"

"Hmm?" you hummed, unsure of where he was going with this. "What do you mean? I don't hate you."

"We can't stand each other!" Leo protested. "I'm always insulting you, and you're always insulting me back. This is probably the most civil conversation we've ever had!"

You were starting to feel defensive. Wasn't he the one that'd always started tormenting you? You'd only wanted to get back at him for everything he'd done to you. "You start all of it though! I wanted to be friends with you but you just wouldn't let me! I tried, Leo, I did but you were just so infuriating with your jabs and pretty face and pretty everything and- "

"Wait, you think I'm pretty?" Leo looked starstruck by your words. He was gazing at you with the softest look on his face. "Can I tell you something?" You nodded. "I acted like I hated you because you were too beautiful, definitely way out of my league. I'm so sorry."

You grew flustered at the sudden proximity between the two of you.

"Can I kiss you?" He breathed softly.

"Okay."

He leaned forwards and placed a hand around the back of your head, the other finding yours and intertwining your fingers together. His lips were slightly chapped against yours but you felt like you were in heaven.

Breaking apart with a small giggle, you mustered up your courage and asked, "Can we do that again?"

[littleleaves13]

‼️ Supernatural season 5 spoilers ‼️

Hey what the fuck is up with Supernatural's portrayal of other world religions and pagan gods. because I'm not a fan? It's honestly just disrespectful and so ridiculously not researched. Full disclaimer that I'm coming at this from a Hindu standpoint.

In 5x19 "Hammer of the Gods" there's a convention of a bunch of other gods in the world, and I can't speak for all of them but Kali and Ganesha are so awfully portrayed and what is up with them all being cannibals lmao. The Hindu gods are canonically vegetarian and Kali Ma is the destroyer of bad, evil things and protects people (especially women) who can't stand up for themselves. Kali Ma is an avatar of Parvati, the Queen Mother, and she's absolutely badass and takes no one's bullshit. She's angry and vengeful but she only dishes it out to people who deserve it, and definitely not innocents caught in the crossfire. She's a goddess. She knows right from wrong. Even Shiva, known as "The Destroyer," is the destroyer of evil things, but Western media just depicts him as an evil god. Ganesha is the most peaceful god that we all pray to as the Remover of Obstacles and he's just a sweet kid whose head got cut off and replaced with an elephant head and he eats sweets and plays harmless little pranks on all the other gods. And the fact that he's a full fucking elephant in this episode is ridiculous like...do your fucking research? The blood spell stuff is ridiculous too like, if Kali Ma wanted you dead you'd be dead.

This is just infuriating and it's a theme that's come up a lot before in Supernatural. Dean is always like "oh I'm gonna gank you bloodthirsty motherfuckers" as if they're not gods? I know the show is years old but it's annoying and misinformed. The fact that they include pagan gods and gods of other world religions (Hindu mythology, Norse mythology, etc) is so cool and there is genuinely so much potential for it. In the episode at one point Kali Ma said that there are billions of people who aren't Christian and that other religions and other gods have existed for thousands of years before Christianity, and that if there's anyone who gets to destroy the world it would be them and she's so right for that? There was so much potential for exploring what the Apocalypse means for people who don't believe in Christianity and having a whole convention of powerful gods of other cultures could've genuinely been an arsenal against Lucifer if they'd bothered to do their research. Instead they're all "primitive" and "chimps" (Dean's words) and eat people.

Honestly, the angels are just as awful and they have even less regard for human life so if Sam and Dean want to kill a bunch of bloodthirsty murderers it should be them.

I love Supernatural and it has it's silly goofy moments of awful writing but this is just one thing that pisses me off to no end.

[seokgyuu]

idk what the other heathens (affectionate) have asked for but i just think it’s neat how serious and cute seokmin gets when he’s kissing you. like he holds your face as he’s kissing you deep and slowly and he’ll mumble in between each one about how he loves you and he’d constantly have eye contact and look between your lips and eyes and i just… really wanna make out with him

- nova (it’s not really a request BUT FOOD FOR THOUGHT hehe)

a/n: well hello there nova <3 this turned out a bit different than what you asked for, but i hope its still fine!! literally just went with the flow of making out with seokmin.. hehe. kinda liked the idea of him being a loser that just happens to be an absolute ace when it comes to making out *giggles*. let me know what you think!

TITLE: sweet, sweeter, seokmin's kisses

PAIRING: Seokmin(DK) x Fem!Reader

GENRE: frat au (just mentioned that they are in a frat lmao)

WARNINGS: mentions of drinking alcohol, loads of kissing, it is suggestive but no smut, still MDNI!

WORDCOUNT: 1.4k

TAGS: @honeykyeom, @onlyseokmins, @playmetheclassics, @the-boy-meets-evil, @dkakapizzaboy my fellow dk ferals <3

Playing Truth or Dare was so Middle School. Not that that stopped anyone from playing it at Jihoon’s birthday party. 

You were seated cross legged next to Chan, a beer in your hand that surely had reached room temperature by now. Wonwoo was the one doing a dare for fifteen minutes, still counting. He had been dared to call his first girlfriend and tell her he wanted her back (which was absolutely infuriating and manipulative and horrible, but you were surrounded by a bunch of frat dudes who didn’t know boundaries) and she still hadn’t picked up. Why he kept on trying, you didn’t know. Perhaps he really wanted her back.

“Just leave a message, what the fuck,” you finally breathed out, face in a frown and the circle of dudes all turned to look at you. God damnit, why did their frat have to be the most unpopular on campus and why were you the only one feeling enough pity for them to actually come to their lame ass parties? 

“But then we won’t get to see her reaction!” Soonyoung protested, but you groaned and shook your head at him.

“Okay, and? I’m pretty positive she’ll call him back once she sees the thirty missed calls, Soon.” 

To that, none of them had a response. Soonyoung exchanged looks with Wonwoo and Seokmin, and finally decided to give in. Sighing in relief, you relaxed against the couch behind you, watching Wonwoo spin the bottle this time. It spun for a good thirteen seconds before it stopped - pointing at Seokmin. He, as confident as always, with a huge grin on his face said: “Dare!”

Maybe you should have seen it coming. The round had been going on for way too long for no one to be dared to kiss you - the only girl at this joke of a party. The thing was, Seokmin wasn’t ugly. More so the opposite. He could have been a campus heartthrob if only he hadn’t decided to join this fraternity. SVT was a sad example of how frats can become unpopular when they get led by the wrong people. And while Seungcheol, the leader since this semester, tried his very best to get their reputation up - it hadn’t worked just yet. So, yeah, Seokmin was handsome and buff and hot and all that. But he was Seokmin. He was silly and goofy and laughed a little too loud and always tried to cheer everyone up even when no one wanted him to. Thinking about it now, it did sound kind of nice of him. Still. Did you want to kiss him? Not really.

“I dare you to kiss Y/N! But not just a peck, like full on kiss kiss her!” Wonwoo grinned and your mouth dropped open.

“What the fuck is kiss kiss supposed to mean?!” You asked, and Wonwoo shrugged

“You’ll figure it out!”

Taking a deep breath, trying your hardest not to once again yell at the man with the round glasses on top of his nose, you finally looked at Seokmin, who’s eyes seemed to be just as wide as humanly possible. 

“D-Do you mind?” He stuttered out and because you weren’t a buzz kill, you shook your head and put your cup down, uncrossing your leg and instead crouching over to him. 

“Just kiss me and shut up,” you mumbled and Seokmin visibly swallowed, his eyes gazing from your eyes to your lips and then, finally, he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against yours. 

At first, you were confused. Because why the hell did his lips feel so soft? Never in your two years of knowing this man had you seen him use chapstick. Seokmin kissed the way he smiled. Warm. And sweet. And somehow better than anyone you had ever kissed. Almost automatically, your eyes fell shut and your hands landed on his cheeks as you slowly sat up, taking him with you. He kissed you deeper then, his hands on the small of your back and when he parted your lips with his own and let his tongue slide into your heat, you almost felt like moaning. It wasn’t necessarily because you were turned on but because he was just so good at this. 

“Okay, okay! Damn, get a room!” Chan had thrown his empty solo cup at your head and you had, with a strange sense of sadness in your heart, separated from Seokmin. Or at least your lips separated because your hands were still on his cheeks and his were still on your back. For a few seconds you just stared at each other, blinking away and then you were back on your place on the floor, head buzzing and heart thumping. 

What had just happened? Seokmin’s taste still lingered on your lips, on your tongue. It left you breathless, left your stomach doing flips over and over again and your brain yelling at you to kiss him again because, fuck, how long had it been since you’ve kissed someone and liked it? While the game continued, Seokmin now asking Chan a question after the youngest hast picker Truth over Dare. You allowed your eyes to flicker to Seokmin, seeing the red on his cheek and the way his lips were wet and- 

“Seokmin, I think you wanted to show me something in your room earlier.” 

The words left your mouth before your brain caught up. Chan, who had been in the middle of answering the question you hadn’t even heard, and everyone else in the circle, stared at you. God, you hoped Seokmin got the hint. If he didn’t, this could end up extremely awkward.

Seokmin was also looking at you, eyes back to being big and round and his mouth was hanging open slightly as he seemed to wreck his brain as to when he had said that. But when he saw the look in your eyes, saw the silent pleads, it clicked. His cheeks got even redder.

“O-Oh, yes! Yes, I did. Uhh, I think now is as good as ever to show you! S-sorry guys!”

It was safe to say none of the guys were mad once they caught on what was actually happening (it took them a good five minutes to count one and one together).

You were on top of Seokmin, straddling him, and your arms were locked around his neck while his rested on your back, his lips moving against yours so perfectly it felt like they were two puzzzle pieces designed to fit together. Kissing him was like tasting cotton candy for the first time, like going for a swim on an especially hot summer day. It felt right in all the ways a kiss could. You didn’t even care about the lack of him trying to touch you anywhere else than your back, just happy to feel his lips on yours and to have his tongue occasionally bump against yours. This wasn’t about initiating sex, no, this was something more and still less. Your fingers stroked the back of his head, felt the soft locks and when he giggled against your lips you almost melted. 

“I’m ticklish”, he explained then, the red back on his cheeks and you just nodded, kissing him again, hands moving to his face.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you mumbled, pressing your lips together. He wrapped his arms around you fully now, hands on your shoulder, and you felt the safest you ever had in anyone’s arms. This was crazy. This was Seokmin. He wasn’t supposed to make you feel this way. You shoved the thought away. It didn’t matter that he was in a bitchless fraternity. From now on you could be his bitch. 

Suddenly, you felt hin smile against your lips and you parted from him even though you didn’t actually want to.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, kissing his cheek. Seokmin chuckled.

“I kind of wanted to kiss you since freshman year.”

“For real?!” Your eyes widened. He nodded.

“Yeah. But when I entered SVT I kind of figured it probably wouldn’t happen.”

“Guess you figured wrong.” The smile on your lips was sincere and you let your hands rest on the sides of his face again. Seokmin smiled warmly, just like he always did.

“I guess so.”

And then he kissed you again, and whenever he stopped to giggle because you tickled him, you could feel yourself fall harder and harder into a Seokmin shaped hole you kind of felt like you couldn’t ever escape again.