#she’d told me she would be back where i live on the 9th so i exchanged shifts with my sister in hopes that i’d get to see her again and ask

[birthofvcnus]

okay so this happened last week and today the lady came back and i’m so happy about it because i got to check on her (she’s doing better! she had issues moving around for a couple of days because her body was stiff and it ached but she’s okay now) and we hugged and it makes me warm inside to know what despite us being complete strangers this lady and i love each other deeply and i’ll always carry a little part of her with me in my heart

[mortemoppetere]

TIMING: week of oct. 9th PARTIES: @realmackross & @mortemoppetere SUMMARY: mack meets emilio at a random bar to find out what information he knows about the “animal” attacks despite not knowing he’s the hunter she tried to eat. CONTENT: suicidal ideation tw

It seemed like the goo, and just dreading confrontation and the consequences of her unknown actions in general, had gotten in the way of meeting up with this Emilio guy to find out what he knew about the animal attacks. But here Mack stood, outside some random bar downtown that he had requested she meet him at, to hear about things she knew she didn’t want to, but needed to.

With bated breath, Mackenzie pulled back the heavy door leading inside and let her eyes scan the room. Had she even really known who she was looking for? She had tried to remember his icon online, but people always looked different in person, especially if you were being catfished. But with little information to go on, she didn’t really have a choice. Instead, she made her way to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools, “Yeah, I’ll have a shot of Fireball. Thanks.”

—

Going about your normal life when you were squatting in the back room of a bar you’d been kicked out of for picking fights more than once wasn’t exactly an easy thing to do. Already, Emilio was dodging interrogations from multiple people who, for some God forsaken reason, cared about where he was living. Alan was offering him a spare room and a one hundred percent chance of running into Rhett, Teddy was threatening to steal his dog for the sake of his ‘little ears,’ Xó gave him a strange look every time he hopped in her shower after a hookup… It was an awful lot of uncomfortable concern. He’d rather have normalcy. 

So he got back with the kid who’d been asking about the ‘animal attacks.’ He steeled himself to give her bad news, because he was pretty sure she’d been asking about someone specific even if she hadn’t said as much. He told her to meet him at the bar he’d been living in, left Perro in the back room, and strode out to the main area. Weary eyes scanned the bar, looking for… he wasn’t sure what. Someone who looked like they were there to meet someone. Someone who…

Wait. 

Blonde hair. Big eyes. Less hungry than the last time he’d seen her. There was no way. There was no fucking way. Emilio scowled, hand darting into his pocket to find a knife and grip tightening around the hilt of it. He marched over, feeling the familiar shiver down his spine that he didn’t need to confirm what he already knew — she was undead. He slid into the barstool beside her, tense and ready for a fight. “Either you’ve got a twin with the same diet plan as you,” he said lowly, “or you’ve got some fucking explaining to do.”

—

Before Mackenzie even had time to look up at the man who was sitting down next to her, she had already heard his threat. Clearly this wasn’t what she had expected things to be like when she went to get information, but she very quickly got her answer. Either she had tried to attack him or she had attacked somebody he loved.

Forcing back the lump that had easily formed in her throat, the young zombie slowly turned her head to acknowledge him, but kept her eyes on the bar in front of her, “So it wasn’t an animal then. I think you just gave me all the information I needed.” How did she approach this? Did she slowly get up and try to leave? Stay and try to explain herself? Would this guy even believe that she couldn’t remember anything that happened? Parker was right though. She did have to face the consequences at some point. She had already started with Winter. Why not go ahead and check someone else off the list, “Did I attack you or somebody you care about is my first question?” Mackenzie finally looked up at him and looked him in the eyes.

—

“No,” he said, “it wasn’t an animal.” Or maybe it was. Was there much of a difference, he wondered, between a zombie whose mind was gone and a rabid animal tearing its way through anyone who came close? You took care of them the same way. Neither could be reasoned with. He’d thought neither was capable of coming back from it, but… here she was. Talking in full sentences, not trying to take a bite out of him. 

He met her eyes with a steely gaze, searching her expression for any sign of the beast that had attacked him in the woods. He couldn’t find it. She looked just as human as Monty had, though a little less self-righteous. Still, Emilio didn’t soften. If this had happened once, it could happen again. She must have hurt people during her rampage, people far more important than him. The fact that she was asking that question told him as much. “Cracked a couple of my ribs,” he said flatly. “Damn near took a bite out of me. We’re both lucky you didn’t.” The mere idea that it had been a possibility made his mouth go dry. Dying wasn’t something Emilio feared. Dying in a way that would leave him walking and talking sans heartbeat was. “My turn for a question. The hell happened?”

—

Mackenzie felt lower than the dirt she should’ve been buried under years ago. He clearly wasn’t happy, but how could he be? He had to face her in a state she wasn’t aware of. The only proof she ever had was the aftermath and that was something that had always been hard to stomach, even for someone who munched on body parts, brains, and dead animals. But she did have one thing going for her. They were in a public place, so it’s not like he could try anything right? She would definitely be watching her back when she left.

“I know this doesn’t help, but I’m so sorry. If I could take it all back I would.” What else was she supposed to say? She was truly sorry. She already felt like the worst person on the planet, and that was long before ever unknowingly meeting Emilio. Mackenzie wanted to ask more questions. Get more information, but she didn’t have a chance, “Honestly, the last thing I remember was touching the Serpent Flats, and then a couple of days later waking up at a friend’s house.” She didn’t want to say who, just in case this guy could hurt Monty. She didn’t know his motives, and she definitely didn’t want to put Monty or anyone at the farm in danger.

—

Sorry. The word always meant so little, didn’t it? Apologies did nothing to mitigate the damage done. Emilio knew that. He’d made a thousand apologies over the years, whispered the word into the universe over and over again and watched as that universe remained just as heavy as it had been without that added syllable. He wasn’t angry for himself; he never was. His ribs had healed just a few days after she’d tossed him around, and he was built to take damage, anyway. It was what he existed for. But she’d had blood under her fingernails before he found her, and he wasn’t stupid enough to think it was all from animals. Regardless of his attempts to view them on an individual basis, he still knew firsthand how much damage the undead could do.

“You can’t,” he said flatly. “Take it back. So there’s no point in saying it, is there?” The Serpent Flats. That was what had caused this? Emilio hadn’t paid much attention to the abnormality since coming to Wicked’s Rest, far more interested in keeping his eye on the town’s other oddities, but maybe that had been an oversight. If the Flats was capable of causing all this, he should know more about it. “How did your friend snap you out of it?”

—

Mackenzie wanted to sink down under the bar she was currently perched at. Hide away in the shadows. She had already been made to feel worse by Parker, who claimed she wasn’t taking responsibility for her actions, but what was she doing here? She didn’t have to meet this guy. Put herself at risk like this, but in good conscience, she wanted to. She wanted to try and make up for the wrongs she had unknowingly committed. But according to this guy, she couldn’t. She couldn’t change the fact that she might have killed one, two, ten or more people. Mackenzie at least had to know though.

“I…” She paused, swallowing the lump that lingered like a suffocating knot in her throat, “I guess not. No.” Her eyes had dropped at some point, and now they remained cast downward afraid to look him in the eyes any longer, “I-I don’t think they did. I just remember coming back to myself and feeling like I was dying all over again.” In all honesty, Mack’s death had been quick, but she imagined a long, slow and painful death being like the sickness she had endured after her reign of terror throughout town.

—

Part of him did want to finish the job he’d started in the woods that day. Emilio wasn’t someone who was good at leaving things incomplete. He’d wanted to kill this zombie when she was feral, wanted to take her head off when she was killing hikers and campers and eating pieces of them before moving on to the next, wanted to avenge the sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and parents and aunts and uncles who would never make it home now, whose only role left in the world was to be digested in a dead stomach. People were dead, and didn’t there have to be retribution for that? Didn’t there need to be payment, punishment?

But she was a kid. She was a kid, who’d done something stupid and become something she wasn’t and come back from it. She wasn’t feral now, was sitting on a barstool across from him and saying she was sorry, like sorry meant anything. Like it would unbury the corpses she’d left enough of to put into graves, like it would ease the mourning. 

(His uncle said sorry. He remembered it now. In the bloodied streets, with Flora’s corpse laying in a living room floor a few blocks away, Lucio said sorry and Emilio shoved a knife into his gut and left him to bleed out with the rest of them. Sorry was such an empty word. It never did shit for anyone.)

“And you think I should sympathize?” His accent was stronger than usual, clinging to the words the same way the anger clung to his chest. He wanted to finish the job, but he didn’t at the same time. She was a kid. She was still a kid. “You killed people. Hurt more. Why? Because you wanted to touch a rock?”

—

How did she get out of this? How did she make things better? Mackenzie knew whatever she had done was horrific enough that she now sat across from a man who hated her. Despised her existence. She had already hated herself enough for the PA she had eaten on the day she turned. But more so for Brody. A man she watched grow and have hopes and dreams. Whose family she had spent many holidays with. And now, she had taken that away from someone else. Possibly more, and it was confirmed by the person sitting in front of her, “I didn’t know what this rock could do. These supernatural ghosts and werewolves and whatever else that’s out in the world, is new to me. How was I supposed to know that touching a fucking rock was going to make me kill people?!” It sounded dumb when she said it out loud. And she had made it a point to keep her voice low; eyes darting back and forth to make sure no one else was listening.

“I know I can’t change what I did. I know I’ve ruined so many lives. I came here for answers to try and to start to atone for what you just confirmed. If you want to take me out back and shoot me, then just do it already…” Mackenzie sat back up. Her eyes were red and watery despite not being able to release anything. If this was her fate, then so be it. She made her bed and now it was time to lie in it. If he really wanted to go out back and punish her, she’d stand there and take it.

—

On some level, he knew he was being unfair. She was right — she’d had no way of knowing that the abnormality could have such an effect on her. But people were dead and, as he always was, Emilio was angry. People were dead, and they shouldn’t have been. People were dead, for no reason at all, and the person who had killed them sat at a bar and made excuses. It was a hypocritical thing to be angry about. He’d never be able to wash all the blood from his own hands, never be able to make up for the people whose lives he’d taken or the ones who were dead as a direct result of knowing him. But it wasn’t as if he didn’t hate himself, too, right? It wasn’t as if he didn’t hold himself accountable, wasn’t as if he didn’t remind himself every day what he was, wasn’t as if he didn’t seek out death like it was the only thing he’d ever really wanted. 

“You know what you are,” he said, stubborn as ever. “You know what you’re capable of doing. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to look into things more before running off and doing whatever you want? Things happen in this town. People know that, even if they pretend they don’t. You should know that. You think ignorancia makes it okay? You think it gives you an excuse? People are dead because you did what you did without thinking about what could come of it. People are dead because you didn’t stop to think.” He thought of his daughter, his wife, his nephew and his siblings and everyone he’d ever given a shit about, of the way they were all gone now because his uncle, like the kid in front of him now, had acted without thinking. Maybe it wasn’t entirely her he was talking to anymore; maybe it was easier to be angry with someone tangible than it was to scream at ghosts.

He let out a sharp laugh, getting to his feet. “You’re a coward,” he told her, “and I won’t help you redeem yourself with your death. You did what you did. You can blame other people, you can blame the rock, you can blame whoever bit you, but nothing made you kick this shit off. You did what you did, so you live with it. And know that if you ever do it again, I won’t give you anything as quick as a bullet to the brain.” 

(Your projecting. The thought sounded a lot like it was being spoken in Juliana’s voice; his most honest ones usually did. He was just as good at ignoring them now as he had been when his wife was speaking them aloud. He was just as good at hating himself for it, too.)

—

The words came out like a shower of hot acid raining down on her conscience. If phrases strung together in anger could kill, she’d be dead, yet again. But no, this was worse than the permanent sleep. This was going to stay with her. Linger with her for a long damn time. Why did she even still try? What was the point of trying to make any kind of progress if this was just going to keep happening to her? Maybe Mackenzine was a coward. Maybe she had been one all of her life, and it took leaving LaLaLand to figure that out. But she sat there and took it. Took every bit of hate he spewed in her direction.

“Does that make you feel powerful? Dragging me down even further than I already am? I gave you the option. And I bet you’re no saint yourself, judging by how high and mighty you’re feeling right now. I don’t know what else you want from me, but you know what you can have? A big fuck you! I’m trying to make up for what I did, but you know what? Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck this town. Fuck all of it. I don’t need this shit.”

Getting up from the barstool, Mackenzie shot a glare back at him so hard that she had wished it could make him drop to his knees, but yet, the hurt that had lingered inside her for almost two years now, only made worse by every action the zombie side of her had taken since she had died, was still clearly visible in her eyes. Mackenzie wasn’t a bad person at heart. She didn’t do things to hurt people out of intention. And she was trying to keep her head above water, but the more shit that happened, the more she wanted to throw in the towel.

And without wasting anymore of his time, she left. 

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Day 147b: Saturday May 27, 2023 - “Brew Crew”

Mama’s overnight in Milwaukee gave us a great excuse to get out of the house and follow her around the country for the first time.  Its awesome if we can get the right rhythm down and open flights.  I had about six hours to fill on the ground in Wisconsin and knowing William would need an afternoon nap at the zoo, I knew the perfect place to go land...the baseball game!  To our luck, the Brewers were in town, and William’s answer to if he wanted a hot dog for lunch was an emphatic “Ayes Ayes!”

Parking at the old Miller Park is like going to a rock concert  - its made for tailgaiting before the game in the huge parking lot.  I love this style.  Like Kansas City and even Dodger Stadium.  As I got William organized to go, diaper change and all, a Security guy drove by in a blue golf cart truck mobile, which stole all of William’s attention and since we were in the very back of the big lot I took a shot and waved the man down to ask if he’d have any interest in taking us up towards the park.  He saw the enthusiasm all over William’s face that we were approaching the fast, loud, blue guck.  I was glad he saw it.  He told us to hop in and hang on as he took the long way over into the empty lot where he could really “open it up for us” - William laughed and squealed the whole way.  It was no doubt at all that on a day where he rode an airplane, a yellow bus, a train around a zoo, and even a minivan - riding in that cart was by far the best part of the whole damn.  Signature moments.  Soak em in - these are the days.

Well since we were really on a roll, I figured why not let William ride the escalator by himself too. He was full of confidence and trust and felt fearless so we stepped right up and on, like a really really big boy, gripping on to my middle finger tight.  He loves escalators and up-er-downs (he’s going to love roller coasters), and so we made a big deal of it together to have him step on and off of all the escalators today - we’re in no hurry after all.  We climbed those escalators way up into our seats, high above the bases, just like the Goodnight Baseball book.  I had picked up two hot dogs on the way (assuming one for each of us), but my hungry, excited, big boy ate most of both of them, with lots of dippa.  “Eat as much of it as you want - just leave my fingers out of it!”  Baseball, Popcorn, and Hot Dogs - go together like 6,4,3.  

I let him play in the Brewers play area with the other kids to burn some more energy as Corbin Burnes pitched to the Giants, down below. William smiled and drooled his way through every exciting new thing -  climing on Bernie and the big baseball, going through the big cap, and the Chalet Side - each one followed by a shimmey or his signature hop-skip move.  I made sure he knew, its ok to be a fan of any team, for a day - even the Cubs.  And I have to admit the Brewers and this stadium really has something nice - a great vibe, unique stadium, fun fans, great radio.  I first came here with William’s Mama 8 years ago and its always an interesting place for me, knowing that I almost lived here instead of St Louis and I like to think about how that would have been pretty great too.  An old friend.  And I thought about all of this, back in our seats, William sleeping on my belly as I drank a Leinenkugels in a 1-1 game that just seems to go by too fast.  I sat and sang Take Me Out and Roll Out The Barrels in the seventh inning stretch, and William was unmoved.  By the bottom of the 9th we’d collected our first Brewer’s Game certificate and joined the lower level crowd in hoping for a last ditch walk-off that would never come. The home team lost today and we never saw Bernie on the slide but either way, William puts his fifth notch in on his Major League Parks.  You just never know - if he grows up to a Brewers fan, it will be nice to show him this.

Just the last balls and strikes came across, Mama texted and said she was at the hotel.  She’d been working all day and was ready to see her boys.  And it was great timing - I’d been working all day and need her extra pair of hands (and a hug).   She helped us unpack the car, and reset before treating us to dinner at the Pub downstairs.  Feeling pretty high of myself for pulling off a big bite of a day that included getting up while its still dark and pulling off a 3.5 hour full flight, I raised and downed the local High Life before asking for another.  “You surprised I was able to pull off both the zoo and the baseball game?” I asked knowing that she knew exactly the answer I was looking for as William climbed on me from the booth behind us.  I really gave it my all for that little boy today.  Creating an experience for him, creating a rhythm to life and maybe a love of baseball or hippos. We toasted glass to our investment in this life with each other and our first time seeing Mama on an overnight.  A very important and nice level up for us and this friendly town of Milwaukee will be one we’ll remember as the first - even if William cant.

Song: Wesley Schultz - If It Makes You Happy

Quote:  "Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit." ~Bob Uecker

[serendipitallay]

Bows ۰˚☽˚⁀➷｡˚ Gwi Nam x Reader

Gwi Nam x Reader

warnings: wounds/cuts, and gwi nam ofc :)

Gwi Nam’s a bit of a softie in this one, since most of the fics I read abt him tend to make him a really smug asshole. (which he kinda is, lol)

Y/N steadied herself against a table, taking a breather and clutching the stitch at her side. Damn, these zombies were fast.

She had been in the library, studying for a test when the outbreak started, a few zombies racing into the library, attacking anyone closest to them. The squelch of flesh being bitten into, and the screams of the terrified students engraved into her memory.

She had run, run all the way to a classroom that was the closest, and had no zombies in it. She didn’t know where she was right now. She didn’t care. The zombies that had been chasing her pressed themselves against the sliding windows, animalistic in their need to get to Y/N.

She stared at them, finding a few familiar faces in the crowd. A boy she sat with in her biology class, a girl she often said hi to when she walked down the halls. These people, she knew them before, to be living, sensible humans, but now they were mere shells of what they used to be. Human looking, be it a little deformed, but all animalistic instinct. All brutal cannibalistic monsters, without a shroud of humanity or sense left within them.

She only hoped that her friends, Cheong San, On-Jo and the others were safe.

She looked around the class, trying to find something to cover up the horrors that lurked outside the room, the only barrier between her and death mere sliding doors and windows. On the other side of the class were more windows, where zombies began noticing her and began pressing themselves against the glass.

Spotting posters and papers around the class, she looked through pencil cases, trying to find something that could be used to stick the papers on to the windows. She fished out a glue stick from one, and began her work. As she stuck them flat on the windows, she could feel them continuously bang harder and harder, and she feared the glass would fail on her and break, letting them in. She rushed to stick the last piece of paper in, and backed away, cautiously eyeing the now covered windows. Finally trusting that she’d be safe, she heaved a relieved breath.

Y/N sat on the floor, back against a wall with her knees to her chest. What the hell was she going to do now?

9th grade

Y/N was sat near the tennis courts, having her lunch and finishing up her physics homework.

She told her friends to go on without her, to leave her alone so she could actually finish it all.

“Y/N! Come on, let’s go eat together, please?” On-Jo protested, grabbing her arm.

“You guys always distract me, I need to do this!”

“Your grades are already high as it is, one unfinished assignment isn’t going to ruin them!”

“I’ll see you at home time later, okay?”

On-Jo stuck her tongue out at Y/N, crossing her arms and turning back to Gyeong Su and Cheong San.

Now she was here, alone, the serene tranquility calming as she tried solving the headache inducing questions.

She heard a groan come from somewhere near her, causing her to look up from her paper and to the source of the sound.

She found Gwi Nam, well known for being a bully, clutching his arm in pain, leaning against the gate of a tennis court and wincing.

Somehow despite all the rumors and talk around school about him beating kids up until they bruised and bled, she still felt bad for him, still felt bad for him feeling an ounce of the pain he had inflicted on to others.

She sighed, gathering her things into her tote bag and walking over to where he was.

He flinched at the sight of her standing in front of him, quickly regaining his composure and clearing his throat. “What do you want?”

“You hurt your arm.”

“I’m not blind, I can see th-”

“I can help wrap it.”

She reached into her bag and took out a small bag, her own little first aid kit her mother always bugged her into bringing to school, in case anything ever happened.

He didn’t say anything, stunned that he was even being offered help from someone he didn’t even know. An ounce of actual care being put in his direction, it felt nice, made him feel warm inside.

“You’re gonna want to take off your jacket for this.”

Gwi Nam felt as if he was in a trance, curiously watching Y/N and following what she said. He wanted to savour this moment for as long as he could.

Y/N took out an alcohol wipe, carefully lifting Gwi Nam’s sleeve up to get a better look at the cut. The blood was beginning to dry in some parts, but it was still very fresh.

“Get ready, cause this’ll sting.”

She pressed the alcohol wipe down, eliciting a hiss from Gwi Nam as he held back the insult he was about to shout at her. “Okay. Now I’m gonna wrap it.”

Taking out a gauze roll, Y/N began wrapping it around the cut gently, as to not hurt him any further. It was quiet, albeit the awkward kind. The two were so close to each other, and barely even knew each other, which made it all the more awkward.

Y/N decided to take initiative in veering the whole atmosphere into something more relaxed for the two of them, playing the small talk card, one of the things she was pretty skilled at when it came to social interactions.

“So… how’d you get this cut anyway?”

Unlike Y/N, small talk wasn’t Gwi Nam’s strong suit in any way shape or form. He was more direct with his words, more on the nose, so to speak.

“I was fighting some asshole, and somehow he got me pretty bad on the arm.” His bluntness caught Y/N off guard.

She hummed in response, concentrating on bandaging the wound as neatly as she could. “Why do you fight people anyway? I mean, all it does is lead to unnecessary injuries like this.” Gwi Nam shrugged, not saying anything more. The heavy silence returned, but now more relaxed than before.

Once she was done, Y/N tied it into a nice bow, smiling to herself, and turning to look at Gwi Nam to tell him she was finished. She was surprised to find him staring at her, a fascinated look on his face.

“I- I’m done.” She cleared her throat, rubbing her thumb across the wound, something she did to whatever ‘project’ she was finished with. She retracted her hand, realising what she had done, but felt it being pulled back by a warm hand.

Her mouth fell agape as she glanced at their hands, then at Gwi Nam. “Thank you.” He thanked quietly, a small smile on his face, before letting go, the warmth gone as quick as it had come. Getting up, he left Y/N crouching there, sneaking one last glance back at her before heading off, thoughts of the girl that had helped him filling his mind for the rest of the day, and for the 3 years he hadn’t seen her for.

Present day, 7 hours after the outbreak.

Gwi Nam stalked the halls of the school, keeping his eyes (or, um, eye 😃) out for Cheong San. The little imp who had taken his eye out. His hands itched in need to get to that eye of his, to make him feel what he felt when he gouged his eye out.

Zombies limped around him pathetically, and he kicked one in the back just for the heck of it. God, these guys were idiots.

A foreign smell hit him then. Except, it wasn’t that foreign; rather, there was a hint of familiarity laced in it somewhere, though he couldn’t place where he had smelled it before.

He decided that Cheong San could wait. After all, where the hell could he and his idiot friends could go right now? He scoffed, and continued to track the scent, finding it leading to a random classroom.

He couldn’t look inside it though, as the windows had been covered up with paper. There were probably more zombies here before, but the halls were relatively clear now, save for a few of them at the end of the hall.

Gwi Nam tried sliding the door open, but found it locked. “Fuck, of course it’s locked.”

He knocked on the door, tapping his foot impatiently, and putting on his best pleading voice he could muster.

“Please, help me! Open the door, please!”

Y/N lifted her head from her arms. She had fallen asleep, but was awaken by the cries she had heard outside. She felt torn. Her mind told her no, sensibly reasoning that they could be infected, but her heart told her to let them in, reckless and blinded by pity.

The knocking became more hurried and desperate by the second, and before she could give it a second thought, Y/N was in front of the door. If she was bitten, then this was on her. She unlocked the door, sliding the door open a smidge.

She was met with a boy, bloody all over and his eye…

His eye. She went to slide the door back in place, but he grabbed it, stopping it from sliding back.

She whimpered, lip quivering as she tried pushing it shut again. He was shockingly strong, sliding the door open with his one hand even as Y/N tried sliding the door shut with all her might.

“What, what do you want?” Y/N asked, carefully backing away, trying not to sound scared.

She scanned the guy’s face, thinking of who the hell this guy could be, but her mind felt cloudy in panic. The boy slid the door shut, locking it behind him. Oh god. She was going to die, she was going to die.

“You seem familiar…” he remarked, walking toward her, an inquisitive look on his face.

Could it be who he thought she was?

“Who the hell are you?”

This girl was brave, very brave, and she smelled so sweet…

Y/N’s back hit the wall, and now she was trapped, with some guy who was vaguely familiar to her (and kinda hot, although she would never ever admit it.)

Gwi Nam leaned in closer, and Y/N tried pressing herself closer to the wall, a feeble and foolish attempt at getting further away from him, as he leaned in closer to her, reeking of the sharp smell of blood.

He stared into her eyes, those familiar eyes, warm and full of emotion.

No, it couldn’t be her, could it?

Gwi Nam was about to say something when the girl’s eyes widened, and a look of familiarity hit her.

“Wait… you’re Gwi Nam, aren’t you?”

Gwi Nam smirked. “The one and only.”

“I can wrap that eye for you.”

Gwi Nam froze, the smirk being wiped off his face instantly. Those words…

It was her. It was really her.

“It’s you…”

Gwi Nam approached Y/N slowly, mouth open, not knowing what to say. They were so close again, like they had been 3 years ago.

He placed a hand on her cheek. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m good.” She whispered, giving him a small smile and looking into his eye. His other gouged out eye looked horrible, and she thought of repeating what she did all those years ago…

“I meant what I said. I can wrap that eye for you.”

Gwi Nam nodded, taking in her features all at once. Those 3 years she had been on his mind, day and night. It was kind of the bare minimum, what she did, yet it felt like the world to him. He liked how it made him feel; warm, happy and loved. And now, he had the chance to experience it all over again.

“I actually have a few more serious wounds for you to look at.”

Y/N nodded, taking his hand and bringing him over to where there were two chairs for them both to sit on. “Wait here.”

Y/N looked around the class, trying to find something to use to wrap Gwi Nam’s wounds, or a first aid kit, even.

She spotted one hanging on the wall near the teacher’s desk, and grabbed it.

Sitting back down, Y/N felt deja vu as she was about to ask a question that mirrored her own in 9th grade.

“You’ll need to…”

“Take off my jacket for this?” Gwi Nam smiled.

“Yeah.” Y/N breathed.

He shrugged his jacket off, revealing his black long sleeve shirt. “I have a lot of wounds on my shoulders too.”

“Oh. I guess you’ll also have to, you know.”

Taking his shirt off, Y/N tried her best not to stare at his six pack, and instead focus on… his… wounds…

His wounds…

Oh god.

She got up from her chair, slowly backing away, much to Gwi Nam’s confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

Y/N pointed at him, horrified. “You were bitten.” Her voice went hoarse, and she found herself frozen in place.

“Oh.” He simply said. “These? Yeah, I was bitten, but that was hours ago, so I think I’m immune.” He got up, taking a step toward her, but she took a step back in turn.

“Look, I’m fine, people turn in less than a minute, so I’m all good. You don’t need to worry, okay?”

Her back hit a wall again. This was the end.

She submitted to it, closing her eyes, awaiting the cracking of Gwi Nam’s bones, and for him to charge at her, sinking his teeth into her.

“I would never hurt you.”

“Stay away from me.”

“Please, let me hold you and prove I won’t.”

Y/N reopened her eyes, looking straight at Gwi Nam. He looked hurt, desperate; her heart ached at his display of raw emotion.

She barely knew him, yet she felt like she had known him her whole life. He had that effect on her, knew how to hit her heart in all the right spots.

Despite all the things he’d done, she felt like this. Despite her mind telling her to push him away, her heart yearned to finally do this.

Y/N nodded, stepping forward, and Gwi Nam wrapped his arms around her. He felt as though everything he had found everything he needed now, as if new beginning had found it’s way to him.

They stayed like that for a while, and when Y/N was finally sure he wouldn’t turn, she pulled away, her arms still around his torso as she looked up at him, Gwi Nam, some random guy she helped wrap a wound for in 9th grade.

“Do you believe me now?”

Y/N nodded.

He smiled at her, one of his most genuine ones in the past few years, then cleared his throat.

He slowly let go of Y/N turning to grab his shirt and jacket from the chair. “I’m glad you do. Maybe you won’t need to bandage me up then, I’ll just-”

Y/N grabbed his wrist, stopping Gwi Nam in his tracks. He turned back to Y/N, who had her mouth open slightly.

“It’s fine, I can still wrap them for you.”

She led him back to the chairs, sitting down, and opening the first aid kit, taking the gauze roll out. She could almost feel the warmth of spring, the season when she and Gwi Nam first met.

She took out a couple alcohol wipes, tearing the packaging open, looking to him before cleaning the first wound. He gave her a small smile, and she took it as a sign to start. The acohol wipe felt cool on Gwi Nam’s wound, a slight sting accompanying it after, but he could bear it a little better now. Rolling the gauze around the bite, Y/N tied it into the same bow she did the last time she wrapped him up, rubbing her hand across her ‘handiwork’, a habit she still kept to this day.

Gwi Nam’s smile only grew wider at this.

It was quiet again, but more welcoming, more comforting. It was when Y/N was on the second bite on his bicep that Gwi Nam finally mustered the courage to ask her a question he’d been meaning to ask her ever since that day she’d tended to his cut.

“Hey.”

Y/N looked up momentarily from her work, and Gwi Nam took her features in, the way her eyes widened upon being called, her slight pout, her brows rising.

“It’s funny, you know. We’ve done this same thing twice now, and I don’t even know your name.”

Y/N smiled, looking back at Gwi Nam’s bite, “Well, I suppose now is the time for us to finally do this first impression thing right, hm?”

Gwi Nam grinned, and Y/N looked up after tying the gauze into a bow then, sticking her hand out to Gwi Nam and grinning. “Hi, I’m Y/N L/N.”

Gwi Nam took her hand in his, the grin still prominent on his face. “I’m Yoon Gwi Nam.”

After Y/N was finished tending to Gwi Nam, they finally had an actual conversation with one another, learning things about the other and enjoying each others company, as if there weren’t blood thirsty zombies a door away from them now.

✧.* ·˚ ༘

“Yes! I’m telling you, I actually saw it happen!”

Gwi Nam scoffed, “You’re such a liar.”

Y/N shoved him playfully, earning her a laugh from him.

And then the quiet returned.

Right now they were both leaning against the wall behind the teacher’s desk, with Y/N’s knees to her chest, and Gwi Nam with a knee up, and his other leg lounging on the floor.

The world seemed to still as they shared this moment together, where they could just forget of all their troubles and enjoy being in the others presence. It was dark out now, the moonlight shining in through the small cracks where the paper didn’t stick well.

It all felt… strange, to Y/N. All of this, her and Gwi Nam, the fact that she felt some sort of attraction to him, it felt so weird, yet so familiar to her.

He was a bully, mean and an asshole in so many ways, yet when he was with her, Y/N could barely imagine him actually hitting a person. He was sweet, loving, understanding.

He told her of how when he was a child, his mother had died after getting into a car accident, and so he was left in the care of his stepfather.

He told her of how his stepfather acted as if Gwi Nam wasn’t even there. Sure, he cared for him, bought him clothes, fed him, put a roof over his head; but he never once acted as if he were even a child of his, never once spent time with him. Gwi Nam tried everything to gain his attention, and yet, no matter how much he tried, it never worked. He was still nothing to his stepfather.

Y/N felt for him, understanding why Gwi Nam was the way he was. No, she wasn’t justifying it, all the things he’d done were horrible, period; but now she knew the root of why he became who he was today.

Maybe that’s why he had looked so weirded out when Y/N offered to help with his wound that day.

Maybe now, she could help him through his issues, and love him; because underneath the hard crust that was the mean bully Gwi Nam, were all his best qualities, awaiting their moment of glory.

Maybe she was the one who could help him shine.

Love was strange when it came to Y/N, a friend, but an enemy all in one. It treated her badly at times, but would reward her kindly at others. Now, she felt like love was rewarding her. For what deed it was repaying her back for, she didn’t know, but she knew that she loved every second of it.

He took a deep breath in, and Y/N followed, closing her eyes. Gwi Nam took her in again, how at peace she looked, how joy was etched into every inch of her face. It was like she was made to bring happiness wherever she went, spreading it to others lucky enough to be around her.

Y/N, now feeling like she was being stared at, reopened her eyes, looking to Gwi Nam with curiosity. “Can I help you?”

“You already have.” Gwi Nam whispered.

He placed a hand on her cheek, and Y/N leaned into it.

“Y/N, I…”

He looked to her lips, then back at her eyes. Y/N’s breath hitched as she awaited his next move.

She closed her eyes again, letting the moment happen before her.

Gwi Nam smiled before kissing her, their mouths moving in sync with each other. He placed his other hand on her cheek, and she moved closer to him, tangling her hands into his hair, both smiling throughout the kiss.

It felt like everything else didn’t matter in that moment, as if shooting stars began showering down, making their moment all the more magical. Love had never seemed more real than now.

Y/N pulled away, both of them gasping for air, eliciting giggling from the two of them. “I love you, Y/N. Thank you, for showing me what love feels like, thank you, for being so loving.” Gwi Nam rested his forehead against hers, appreciating everything that led up to them meeting, even the asshole who had given him that cut 3 years ago.

thanks for reading <3 ₊˚ପ⊹

i promise i’ll work on requests asap! i’ve just got alot going on now that’s keeping me busy.

anyway, requests are still open, so request now before i close em <3

[griffintail]

Hello! So I was new at your blog and I feel like ive discovered the 9th cloud of heaven 🤯 so I don't know if youre in the mood but i loved your technoblade child reader fics and i really wanted to ask if you could write a overprotective!tecnho x f!child reader? i feel like it sucks so im not pushing you to do it-

I probably took it a different way than what you were thinking but I hope you still enjoy!

Utmost Care

Pairing: Technoblade X F! Reader

Warnings: Overprotective nature, Light Angst, Mentions of Swords, Mentions of Scars

~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno didn’t hold a lot of things with value but when he finally did, they were protected with the utmost care. That goes the same for living beings. His daughter certainly was one of those beings.

All of (Y/N)’s life, Techno always kept his eye on her or made someone he trusted with his life was watching her, meaning only he or Phil watched her. If Phil couldn’t watch her at the time, Techno then took her with him, keeping her close the entire time. And, if (Y/N) could tell the truth, as she got older, it was tiring.

She was thirteen years old but she wasn’t allowed to go off on her own. She either had to go with Techno and Phil, the only time she could be alone was in her own room. It was extremely tiring when she couldn’t learn new things that could be considered dangerous. Techno wouldn’t teach her to fight or brew or enchant because he said she’d never need it.

She just wanted to do something without the need for approval. She just wanted to be her own person and live her life as she wanted.

So…that’s how she started sneaking out hours at a time. She was only allowed her own peace and quiet in her room? Alright, she used that to her advantage and locked her door when she knew Techno was busy either tending to things and wouldn’t check on her for hours. When she left, she went to the one place she knew mischief was encouraged.

“Uncle Tommy!” (Y/N) grinned as she walked in the door.

“Here comes trouble!” Tommy grinned.

Tommy indeed encouraged the things Techno considered bad. He helped teach the girl how to fight, taught her to brew, showed her a few things with enchanting, and most certainly let her go off on her own around L’Manberg or the SMP, though he did warn her to be more careful in the SMP lands.

(Y/N) felt free and felt like her own person finally without a weight of watchful eye on her.

It was one of those days once more. Tommy was teaching (Y/N) the ways of the sword.

“Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me!” Tommy grinned cheekily, then yelping as (Y/N) swung as hard as she could with a smirk.

It was just another day for the pair, they just didn’t know it wasn’t another day for Techno. (Y/N) always left when Techno was on his own because he did get distracted when Phil was around or Phil tended to help him. So, if Phil was around, going out was a no-go. Phil usually showed up in the early mornings so she could tell if she could sneak out pretty early in the day.

But, today, Phil had been held up in L’Manberg and came late.

“Hey mate!” Phil called as he walked over to Techno’s.

“Phil, you’re pretty late,” Techno said.

“Yeah, had to help with some things in L’Manberg first.” Phil shrugged. “Farming all by yourself today?”

“(Y/N) said she wanted to read and she might come out later,” Techno told him as they went into the house, Techno resting his hoe by the door. “(Y/N)! The old man’s here.”

“Fuck off mate.” Phil laughed.

Techno smirked as he cleaned off his hands but frowned when he heard no movement in the rooms above.

“(Y/N)!” Techno called once more.

“She might be sleeping in, let her be.” Phil waved it off. “She’s alright.”

But the voices whispered worry, only fueling Techno’s.

“She doesn’t usually sleep in. I’m going to check on her.” Techno said before going up the ladder.

He went to (Y/N)’s room knocking, but there was once more silence. He didn’t like that.

“(Y/N).” He said trying the door handle, but found it locked. “What the-Hey. What’s with the locked door?”

“Techno?” Phil called up concerned by the conversation he was hearing.

She wasn’t saying anything though and the voices whispered panic and Techno reacted. He took a step back before kicking in the door. Phil jumped before quickly coming up the ladder as Techno went into the room.

“Techno!” Phil shouted as he followed after.

Techno’s breath came quicker out of his nose as Phil came in.

“(Y/N)’s not here. Someone took her.” Techno moved past Phil.

Phil looked at his son leaving the room before looking at the teenager’s room. The only mess was the door but (Y/N) indeed wasn’t here and his wings puffed before he rapidly following after Techno.

“You know, the last thing I thought Techno would do was not teach you how to use a sword,” Tommy said as he leaned back on the bench overlooking the river below his base.

(Y/N) sat next to him, both of their training swords laying down close by.

“I always ask him to teach me but he just tells me I don’t need to learn how to fight. I’ll be fine.” She huffed. “What am I going to do if a mob manages to get in? Can you imagine if a creeper managed to come into our house? It could just blow me and the house up because I couldn’t do anything, I might as well just stand still.”

“Ah, he’s always had a stick up his ass.” Tommy waved his hand. “And an ego. He probably thinks he can keep everything from hurting you.”

“But that’s the point uncle Tommy!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “If he taught me, it’s almost a guarantee I won’t get hurt. I could protect myself and go out and meet people. Do whatever I want.”

“He’ll figure it out eventually,” Tommy assured her.

“Alright!”

Both of them jumped as they looked around wildly, Tommy giving a scream, hearing the voice of said man. Then, a moment later, they realized it was their walkies and shared a look.

“Whoever has my kid can bring her back now and have a painless death.”

“Uh oh.” They both muttered.

(Y/N) scrambled to get her things as Tommy stood up in a panic.

“Bye!” (Y/N) shouted before sprinting towards home.

How the hell was she supposed to explain this? Oh no dad, I just decided to wander in the forest with no warm clothes?

“It’s going to be a shitty day.” She muttered as she slipped into the portal and sprinted down the pathway towards the home portal.

Deciding it was better before her father started searching homes, she took out her walkie.

“Dad!” She spoke. “What’s the problem?”

Techno froze in his path, looking at Phil before taking off his walkie. “(Y/N), where are you right now?”

“I just…went for a little walk. My legs were starting to cramp up.” She lied, wincing slightly.

“Your door was locked (Y/N). What happened?”

“I don’t know the door handle must have broke.” She tried as she felt relief seeing the home portal.

“(Y/N), what’s going on?” Techno asked in frustration.

None of this was adding up. What the hell was going on?

“Nothing dad, everything is—” She stepped out of the portal and froze when she was met with two netherite decorated family members. “Fine…”

Phil’s eyes were wide as Techno stood there quiet for a moment.

…

“YOU WENT IN THE NETHER!?” Techno shouted throwing up his arms.

“Dad, look I can explain—” She tried.

“No! I-What were you thinking?!”

“I—”

Techno looked her over. “Is that a sword?! What—You don’t fight! What the hell were you doing?!”

“Look—”

“Mate—” Phil tried to even cut in.

“No! We’re going home.”

Techno went to grab her arm but she moved back.

“LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!” (Y/N) shouted as she shook.

Techno stood in shock as Phil took a step back, this was between father and daughter.

“I-I-Yes! I snuck out! And yes! I have a sword! But its-I just wanted to live for once! You don’t let me go out on my own! You don’t let me train or learn anything you do! I stay at home! And read and learn about farming and crafting basic ass shit! And that’s it! If I’m lucky I get to go out to the village with you keeping a close ass eye on me! And I’m tired of it!”

Techno was quiet as (Y/N) took deep breaths before he came towards her.

“You know that to keep you safe.”

“Oh, shove it, dad! What’s the point of being safe when I don’t know anything! I felt like I was going crazy and I-I can’t do that anymore daddy. I can’t.”

(Y/N) had tears in her eyes. She hated it; she was so tired of it. She was so tired.

Techno was stood in shock hesitating before coming over and hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered to her. “I…I didn’t know it was hurting so much…”

It was a bit awkward of a hug with his armor on but (Y/N) hugged him back regardless.

Techno had wanted to just keep her safe. He had so many enemies and seen so many things in his life…He just didn’t want his little girl to see all the same things he had and he didn’t want her to carry the same scars. But all the while, it seemed he was hurting her in a different way.

“I’m sorry. We’ll figure it out, ok?”

“Please.” She nodded.

He’ll figure it out, he’ll still make sure she was safe, but he’d figure it out for his little girl to be happy…

====================================

General Taglist: @devilchicc @technoblades-sword

(WHY CAN"T I TAG YOU)

[k-llama-llama]

Going Higher

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Stray Kids during the vault jump on Kingdom.

A/N:Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Chan asked her.

“What is that, your catchphrase?” Tori scoffed. “Come on, Chan, you know I’ll be fine.”

Chan gestured wildly at the field. “You’re trying to vault jump something that’s way taller than you are with an injured hand. I feel like this is a bad idea.”

They were at the field day for Kingdom, and Tori was staunchly refusing to sit out despite her injury and the fact that she was the only girl in the competition. This was in spite of the fact that both the managers, the producers, and Chan were trying to convince her to sit out. She’d already beaten the first two groups, and now Chan was the only one standing in her way.

“I danced ballet for years, I can jump high enough to get over that thing.” She stretched out her calf.

“What if you hit your hand?” He continued trying to reason with her.

“I’ll keep my pain to myself.” She grinned. “I’m not sitting out when I’m the only girl. It won’t look good.”

He sighed. “But you’re already injured.”

“And I won’t hold the team back.”

“Do you two feel like you’re having the same argument? Because I feel like you’re both talking about different things.” Minho looked up from where he was tying his shoe.

“We’re not having an argument at all.” Tori nudged him with her foot. “I’m going to jump the vault, set a record and live the rest of my life as a legend.”

“Possible a legend with one hand, but sure.” Minho nodded. “But, sure, give it a shot.”

“I’ll get a hook.”

“Tori!” Someone shouted.

Tori looked away from where she was stretching to see Seonghwa walking over from his own tent. She was sure her cheeks went beet red, as soon as he stepped towards her.

“Hey. You guys ready for this?” She gestured out to the field where the staff were setting up the vault to the first height.

“Probably not.” He gestured to his clothes. Ateez were the only ones who hadn’t turned up in full sporting outfits. “Are you jumping or are you sitting this one out because of your hand?”

“She should be sitting out!” Chan came up beside her.

“But he’s not the boss of me.” Tori grinned. “So I’m jumping anyways.”

“Stray Kids to the field!” The announcement came through the speakers.

“That’s us.” Chan sighed, stepping away.

Tori didn’t follow, still smiling at Seonghwa.

“Good luck.” He offered his hand for a fist bump. “Do it for the team.”

“I’ll win us a medal.” She beamed.

“If you do, smoothies are on me tonight.”

Tori blushed. She’d been out with Seonghwa a few times now, but it still took her by surprise every time she realized that he wanted to spend time with her. Neither of them were rushing to put a label on it, especially with Kingdom breathing down their necks, but they always had an amazing time. They just got each other and it was so easy to be together.

“Tori? Are you coming?” Chan called.

Tori shook out of her thoughts. “Cheer for me?”

“Of course.” Seonghwa coughed. “We all will.”

Tori smiled weakly and turned to hurry after her group.

“What was that about?” Chan asked when she reached him.

“Hm?” Tori asked cluelessly.

“You and Seonghwa. You’re going out for smoothies?”

Tori winced. She hadn’t exactly broached the topic with Chan about her kinda sorta maybe considering dating someone. It wasn’t that she thought he’d have a problem with it, she just didn’t know how he would take it. She certainly wasn’t going to lie to him…but now maybe wasn’t the time to fully explore the topic.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I promised to show him that place that does boba smoothies.”

“I love that place.” He sighed happily. Tori showed up seemingly every week with smoothies from a new place that she had discovered. It probably didn’t sound that weird for her to be taking their mutual friend out for smoothies.

“It’s great.” She nodded, before trying to quickly change the subject. “So…should I jump first to get it over with?”

“No.” He chuckled. “You should wait until a few of us have jumped so that you have time to change your mind.”

“Not changing my mind.” She winked.

She went to stand beside Jeongin, adjusting the knot in the front of her shirt. She had it tied up to reveal a little bit of her stomach, as the pink sweatpants were not necessarily flattering.

Jeongin was bouncing on his heels. He’d been getting a lot of attention as the maknae of the competition, and he was very pepped-up.

“Careful, or you’ll bounce right out of your shoes.” Tori teased.

“Noona, I was worried they weren’t going to let you jump!” He exclaimed. “How’s your hand?”

Tori held up her bandaged hand. They’d wrapped a few extra layers of gauze around it just to give it some cushioning, so she looked like she was wearing an over mitt on her hand. “Never better.”

The announcement came over that they were beginning, and Tori quickly began to cheer as the vault started.

She had to be honest, she’d been confident about the jump before they started, when they’d watched the other teams go. But now that she was up close, it seemed a lot higher. And as she watched her teammates fail (even if Jeongin did fail on purpose), she grew increasingly nervous for her turn.

“And now we have the final runner for Stray Kids! The only girl competing today, the Princess of Kingdom…Tori!” Changmin shouted over the mic.

Despite her nerves, Tori did a playful curtsy as she walked over to the starting position.

“Let’s go Tori!” She could hear cheers from the rest of the teams.

“Don’t fall!” Felix roared.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes, before waving at the camera. “Tori, ready to go!”

Tori took a deep breath, sizing up the vault, and the sprinted forward. She was athletic enough that speed wasn’t an issue, but she had to focus on making sure she would hit the vault at the right speed.

She stepped onto it, springing up onto the springboard, and vaulting as high as she could. She lifted her legs wide out to the side to clear the vault, and then landed unceremoniously on the ground.

She rolled to a stop, hands still held above her head.

“Did I do it?” She looked around wildly.

She was tackled to the side, and barely had time to suck in a breath before she found herself buried under a Stray Kids dog pile.

“You did so good!” Someone – she thought it might be Seungmin – was shouting.

“And now I’m suffocating!” Her voice was muffled.  She had no idea if their mics would even be picking this up, considering how smothered she was.

“Off before you break her.” Chan started hauling people off of her.

Tori sprung to her feet as soon as she was free, bowing enthusiastically to the other teams and the announcer’s tent.

“She made that look easy.” Changmin announced with a laugh. “That’s another point for Stray Kids.”

Tori practically skipped over to the tent, absolutely beaming.

“Told ya.” She linked arms with Chan. “And you said I couldn’t do it.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t do it. I said you shouldn’t because you might hurt your hand.” He patted her back. “But fine. You did a good job. Now you just need to get through the next like six rounds.”

“Easy.” She winked at him.

When they reached their tent, Tori purposefully took the seat on the edge, closest to Ateez’s tent. Seonghwa was sitting on the end at their table, and he held out a hand for a fist bump.

“You killed it.” He declared.

“I try not to disappoint.”

“There’s no way you could.” He laughed.

Tori didn’t really know how to respond to that, so she just chuckled awkwardly and looked back out to the field. “So uh…did you guys already do that voting thing for the visual?”

“Yeah, we did it earlier.” Seonghwa nodded. “Took the pictures too.”

“Who’d you vote for?” Tori asked teasingly.

Seonghwa looked down at his feet. “I don’t think we’re supposed to tell.”

Tori laughed. “It was Felix, wasn’t it? I feel like everyone voted for Felix.”

Seonghwa just shrugged. “You’ll see.”

[atinymonster]

tears and kisses

ateez 9th member.

when jiyu and sunwoo are given the chance to make up with one another.

the way i sort of got carried away but hehe it’s okay 🥺

➴ taglist: @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy, @mochibabycakes, @euphoriamingi, @marsophilia, @goddessofdestructionbeast, @studioreader, @dkdlwhs12

➴ masterlist

"Wait, this is a horrible idea, Eric.”

“No it’s not, calm down Sunwoo. You look like you’re about to puke,” Eric rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics.  

“Because I am!” Sunwoo whisper-shouted as to not distract their manager who was currently driving them. 

A week had passed with no signs of reconciliation between Jiyu and Sunwoo. Which meant a week of Eric and the other boys dealing with a sulking and brooding Sunwoo who scrambled for his phone at every notification that he received. Even during the live broadcast for Kingdom, his members could tell how much he wanted to approach Jiyu, but his hesitance held him back. 

Eventually, he decided enough was enough for the sake of not only Jiyu and Sunwoo, but for the sanity of everyone else who so desperately wanted the two to make up. 

“Alright guys, we have a plan!” Eric and Haknyeon suddenly declared in the middle of their dorm living room. 

“What plan?” Hyunjae asked before a lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh, for our brooding rapper over there?”

Eric nodded. “Precisely.”

Sunwoo rolled his eyes, yet he couldn’t ignore the small spark of hope that ignited in his chest. He had been wracking his brain all day for the past week on how to apologize to Jiyu, but he was afraid she was still angry with him despite her small smiles and encouragement towards him during the recent Kingdom live broadcast. 

“I texted Wooyoung, and he said everyone else was willing to help us. Without Jiyu’s knowledge of course.”

“What if she’s still angry at me?” Sunwoo groaned, burying his head into his hands. The closer they were to arriving at KQ, Sunwoo felt the stress and anxiousness weighing down on him even more. 

Eric stifled his chuckles. According to Wooyoung, Jiyu worried about the exact same thing, which was the main reason why neither of them were able to make the first move to reconcile. “Wooyoung told us Jiyu wasn’t angry anymore. He said she was feeling regretful if anything.

And he was right. Despite Jiyu’s attempts to try and act like her normal, everyone could tell her mind was elsewhere with the amount of spacing out she’s done.

The recent offline fansign they had was the hardest for her, having adorable comments about Sunwoo being thrown at her so often. All she could do was smile as a response, even if all she wanted to do was break down and cry. The boys all took turns looking out for her, and they felt a pang of guilt whenever they overheard an ATINY talk to her about Sunwoo.

But what could they do? Nothing. Jiyu had told them numerous times that she didn’t want to raise any suspicions, and that she didn’t want to bring the mood down since it was their first time seeing ATINY in person after a whole year.

The boys hated seeing her so lifeless and saddened when they didn’t have any schedules, so when Wooyoung received a text from Haknyeon asking for their cooperation in getting the two together again, he wasted no time informing the others (minus Jiyu) and gaining their approval.

“So what choreography are we learning today?” Jiyu asked, plopping down onto the floor while waiting for Wooyoung to choose a song on the practice room monitor.

Every so often on their free days, the two would take the time to learn another group’s dance together for fun and to keep their dance skills sharp. Not that Jiyu minded; dance was an escape for her, and she could really use a dance session at the moment to clear her head. 

Wooyoung knew that, so he used the dance session as a way to try and lift her spirits, as well as a way to keep her in the room so she didn’t bump into Sunwoo prematurely.

“I’ll teach you Don’t Call Me! I need a buddy to dance with and we can record it to show ATINY later,” he answered, peeking at his phone every so often to keep an eye out for a text from one of the others to let him know when Sunwoo would arrive.

[hongjoong] is everything okay so far?

[wooyoung] yep! she’s still with me in the dance room :)

[san] great! now let’s all pray the two of them make up soon...i don’t like seeing baby monster so sad :(

[yeosang] yeah, it’s weird when she’s all frowning and not her usual bubbly self

[hongjoong] i know, it’s weird not having her voice resonate through the dorm everyday...

[hongjoong] anyways, we’ll direct sunwoo to practice studio 2, so send jiyu there too when we text you again later

“Who are you texting?”

Wooyoung felt his heart stop the moment he looked up and saw that she was about to peer over and read the text messages. Turning off his phone, his mind was scrambling for a valid excuse. 

“Nothing, San just started spamming me with messages again,” he chuckled, letting out a discreet sigh of relief when she believed him. “Come one, let’s start!”

Jiyu’s ability to quickly pick up choreography was both a blessing and a curse. This was one of the rare times where Wooyoung found it a curse. She was able to learn the first verse all in ten minutes, and Wooyoung only learned up to the end of first chorus to teach her. At this rate, they were most likely going to finish before Sunwoo even arrived.

“Okay, let’s take a break? I’m sure your body still hurts from practicing for Kingdom.” Wooyoung said, trying to mask how frantic he was. Luckily, she agreed, sliding down the wall and resting her head in his shoulder before letting out a sigh.

“Feeling okay?” he asked, patting her head.

“If I’m being honest, not really. I just...miss him,” she quietly admitted, her chest tightening as various emotions began to overtake her mind. She never talked to any of the boys about how she was really feeling, not wanting to burden them with her personal problem. While she was extremely grateful that they tried everything within their power to cheer her up, she didn’t want them to feel obligated to stick with her every second of the day just to make sure she was okay. 

Wooyoung bit his lip. He felt a sense of guilt for not being able to tell her that Sunwoo was on his way over as they spoke. “Do you want to talk to him?” 

Jiyu touched her now-empty wrist, missing the weight of the bracelet that she had thoughtlessly left behind at Sunwoo’s studio. “I won’t lie, I do want to talk to him again...but does he want to talk to me is the real question.”

Before he could reply, he heard his phone’s ringtone go off—his cue to send Jiyu to meet Sunwoo. His heart started to pound in anticipation for the moment they’ve all been waiting for. Fishing out his phone from his jacket pocket, he couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his face, a smile that didn’t go unnoticed by Jiyu.

“San again?” she giggled, completely unaware of who and what was waiting for her just down and around the corner of the hall.

“No, uh, Seonghwa hyung wanted to do a VLIVE, but the wifi connection’s acting up again. Can you run over to practice studio 2 and help him out?” he asked, mentally apologizing to Seonghwa for hinting that he was an old man for not knowing how to fix a simple wifi connection (when in reality, he most likely knew how).

He must’ve been blessed with luck for the day because Jiyu agreed without hesitation or suspicion, mumbling about how she swore she showed him how to reset it a few weeks ago. 

A few minutes after she left, the practice room door opened and the others, along with Eric, quietly filed into the room to join Wooyoung in anxiously waiting for the outcome of their little plan. 

“Mission accomplished!” Yunho whisper shouted with a little grin. 

“We can’t say that yet. Not until we know if they made up or not,” Seonghwa reminded. Deep down, he was worried for Jiyu. Should the outcome be one that they weren’t hoping for, he knew Jiyu would be strong, accept the results, and push through. But how would she really feel deep down?

It was a mutual concern of their’s. They knew Jiyu would never want to worry them, they knew she’d just keep how she really felt to herself if things went downhill, so they really hoped with all their heart that everything would turn out alright for her. She couldn’t lose another person she loved, it wouldn’t be fair for her.

While the boys were waiting in the practice room, Jiyu made her way down to the studio. It was odd, Seonghwa never mentioned anything about a VLIVE today, but given how often she’s spaced out the past few days, she wouldn’t be surprised if his notification went in one ear and out the other.

“Seonghwa? I thought I showed you how to reset the wifi—”

The words died in her throat when she opened the door and instead of seeing Seonghwa, she saw the one person she’s been missing like crazy. She was convinced it was a hallucination that her mind had conjured, or that she was dreaming. 

“No, no, shut up mind, you’re not doing this to me right now,” she mumbled to herself with her eyes closed, about to close the door and open it again in hopes that she’d see Seonghwa instead of Sunwoo sitting at the monitor table. 

“Hey, hey.”

Before she could close the door, Sunwoo held it open before pulling her inside and closing the door. 

And that’s when it hit her that he wasn’t a hallucination. She felt the warmth of his hand on her’s when he pulled her in, and she felt his body’s warmth and his breath on her shoulder when he pulled her in for a hug the second the door closed. 

Sunwoo noticed how she tensed when he brought her into his arms, and a pang of sadness shook within his chest. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, feeling his eyes water. He tightened his hold on her, afraid that she would disappear if he loosened his grip. 

Feeling his body tremble, her arms moved on their own, gingerly wrapping themselves around him and her hands drawing small, comforting circles on his back. Tears pricked at her own eyes but she refused to let them fall. 

Basking in the warmth of each other’s arms, no words were exchanged. They just silently rocked side-to-side as Jiyu tried to comfort the boy in her arms. 

Despite her calm exterior, she was a mess on the inside. Her heart was pounding in her chest from having the presence and warmth of her beloved back while her mind tried to find the words to say. 

“I’m sorry, too,” she managed to say even though her voice started to crack from trying to keep her tears in. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, tearily chuckled before bumping foreheads with her. “Hey, don’t cry.” he mumbled, feeling his heart break at the sight of her crying. He’d never seen her cry before, not even on the night of their fight. 

But his words seemed to only encourage her tears and before she realized, she felt the tears slipping down her cheeks and the small sobs wracking through her body. She felt relief crash into her; relief that this all wasn’t a hallucination or a dream, and relief that he wasn’t there to break up with her.

Sunwoo sniffled before stroking her cheek to wipe away the river of tears, all while gently shushing her and whispering words of comfort. Once he felt her breath start to even out again, he guided her to the chairs and sat her down in one while he sat on the other. Jiyu couldn’t look at him, but the tight grip of her hands on his conveyed everything.

“I’m sorry for that night,” he quietly said, rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumbs, “I should’ve just asked you about it rather than assume and take out my anger on you like that. And—” 

He paused, feeling his throat tighten as he remember all the horrible words he said. “I’m sorry for accusing you of being unfaithful. I really don’t think of you like that, I swear.”

Jiyu cupped his face in her hands and raised his head so he was looking at her. His bambi eyes were now filled with tears again, and it sent ripple of sadness throughout her chest. “It’s okay, I forgive you,” she cooed, using her thumbs to wipe away the stray tears that escaped his eyes.

“And I’m sorry for lashing out at you, too...and for saying things would’ve been better if we broke up.”

Sunwoo didn’t respond, but the way he nuzzled his face further into her hands answered for him, and she let out a little giggle. He felt the corners of his lips tug upwards at the sound of her laughter; he had terribly missed the sound. 

Another moment of silence passed before Jiyu started to speak again. “My brother’s my only family left.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widened before they wandered to find her own. Taking her hands away from his face and resting them on his own again, she took a deep breath before continuing. “My parents died in an accident when I was three. Jiyong and I were the only survivors so we were sent to Guangzhou to live with our grandparents. That’s why we’re so affectionate with each other...we’re all we have left here in Korea.”

No matter how many times she spoke of her family, it never got easier. There was still the stinging pain in her chest, the guilt she carried around for years always started to resurface, and the anxious feeling that the person would think less of her when they found out about her broken family.

But Sunwoo just brought her in for the tightest hug he’s ever given her and buried his face into the crook of her neck. He knew she didn’t tell him that to make him feel worse about himself, but it still broke his heart when he realized he had accused her of cheating when in reality, she was with the only family she had left. 

Countless apologies left his lips as Jiyu carded her fingers through his curly hair. No matter how many times he heard her whisper that it was okay, it didn’t ease the guilt that consumed his mind.

“I told you because I trust you. You didn’t even know, so please don’t blame yourself.”

It took a few minutes for her to soothe him, but she didn’t mind. She missed hugging him, she missed feeling his body against her’s, she just missed him. Too busy caught up in her thoughts, she missed how he fumbled around for something in his pocket before feeling a cold sensation wrap around her wrist. Looking down, she couldn’t control the smile that grew on her face when she saw the familiar white bracelet. 

“I think this belongs to you, lovebug” he chuckled, satisfied when he saw a genuine smile instead of the forced ones she gave him during the live broadcast.

Her heart swelled with happiness at the nickname that she thought she’d never be able to hear again. “Thank you, sunshine,” she returned the nickname, an indirect reassurance that they were okay, that everything was okay. 

With him still hugging onto her, she leaned down to place a quick kiss on his cheek, laughter rumbling from her chest when he started pouting and claiming she missed.

“I don’t think I missed, Woo—” 

Before she could even finish, she felt him swiftly readjust their position so that he was pressing her against the chair, his hands firmly pressed onto the armrests to keep himself up. “I think you did, love,” he smirked before leaning down and pressing his lips against her’s.

It wasn’t their first kiss, but she still felt the volcano of butterflies erupting, fluttering around in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his neck when one of his hands gently grabbed onto the side of her neck. 

Pulling away, Sunwoo placed one last kiss onto her forehead before getting up and offering his hand out to her. “Come on, let’s go tell everyone the good news,” he giggled. It always threw her in for a loop at how he could switch from looking like he wanted to devour her back to an adorable puppy in a few seconds, (although Sunwoo could say the same about her). 

Taking his hand and letting him hoist her up, she held him back before he could walk towards the door. Looking back and cocking his head to the side, he swore his heart almost stopped when she smiled up at him. 

“I love you, sunshine,” she said, her aura resembling a puppy that had it’s tail happily wagging.

Eyes filled with adoration and affection, he smiled before leaning down to peck her lips one last time. “I love you, too lovebug.”

[achillestiel]

the parent trap only works if you're identical | part one

based on this post by @destiel-is-canon-i-guess which now lives rent free in my brain | 1.1k words

If Dean was being honest, he was reluctant to send Claire away for half the summer. The house would be far too quiet without her but, in the end, Sam was right. Sending her to summer camp would be good for her.

"So...you gonna miss your old man?" Dean Winchester asked Claire as he drove her to Maine. Home of Camp Mills.

"Dad, it's four weeks. Not four months. Besides, you said summer camp would be good for me!" Twelve-year-old Claire Winchester said with a roll of her eyes. “I know the truth though.”

“And what’s that kiddo?” Dean asked, giving his daughter a knowing smirk.

“You just the house to yourself so you can live off burgers and blast your old man music.” Claire said and damn if she wasn’t right. Dean had to admit that without her there to nag, he was just going to revert back to twenty-two-year-old Dean. The Dean he was before Claire came along. Before any of it.

“When did you get to be so smart?” Dean asked his daughter who just grinned back. “Gotta get it from Sammy ‘cause that sure ain’t me.”

“You know, it could have been from my other dad.” Claire said and Dean stilled. Claire knew she’d come into the world by the magic of a turkey baster and surrogacy. Dean had never shied away from that because it was important that Claire knew how special he was to him. The rest? That was definitely a story for a different time. Once Claire was old enough to understand. All Claire knew was that her dads had been very happy until they weren’t. Cas was gone and now all Claire had was a locket with their photo in. Dean had been hesitant to give it to her but Sam had won out. Stating that Claire should at least know what her other dad looked like.

“Not talking about this again Claire-Bear. Drop the subject.”

“But-”

“Claire.”

“Fine but one day I’m hearing the whole story.” Claire said stubbornly. Yeah, she’d definitely got that from Cas.

Claire really wasn’t sure who started it but all she knew was that she was at war with Jack Novak. Ok, if she thought about it long enough it might have been her fault. She had gloated a lot after whooping his butt at poker but Jack didn’t have to retaliate by stealing her towel after a swim in the lake. Sure, Claire didn’t have to plant that whoopie cushion under his seat in the dining hall but Jack definitely didn’t have to TP her cabin. And ok, she maybe had gone too far when she, along with her cabin buddies, egged Jack’s whole cabin but sticking the two of them in isolation was going a bit far.

Maybe. 

“Ugh!” Claire groaned during their second day of isolation. “My dad is going to kill me when Jody calls home.” She flopped down on her tiny camp and looked over at Jack with a glare. The jerk was just sat there reading a book without a care in the world. “What’s even worse is that you started it!”

“I think you’ll find that you started it when you gloated.” Jack said, not even looking up from his book. “And if anyone needs to worry about their parent it’s me. My dad is so protective of me and when he hears about this he’s going to be so mad.” Jack added. Claire caught Jack’s words and sighed. “What?”

“Parent?” Claire asked. “Is it just you and your dad?” Jack finally looked away from his book and nodded. “What about your mom?” Claire then asked.

“Oh it’s always been just me and my dad. My dad...my dad’s gay and I was born from a surrogate.”

“What? That’s crazy, so was I” Claire said, sitting up straighter and staring at Jack. “How cool is that? So it’s always been just you and your dad?” Claire asked with excitement. She knew this was a weird conversation but she’d never met anyone else who’d been a surrogate baby. 

“Yeah, I think so. I mean...my dad was married but they split up when I was a baby. I don’t know where my other dad is now.” Jack said sadly. Ok, this was getting weird. 

“Huh, that kind of sounds like me. My dad split when I was little too. I don't know why either! I know my dad still loves my other dad. My Uncle Sam and Aunt Eileen talk about him all the time when my dad isn't there." Claire said and that was true. Sam and Eileen would always talk about how much Dean still loved Cas. Even they were confused about why it didn’t work out with the two. 

"Same with my dad! My Uncle Gabriel swears my dad still loves my other dad." Jack said, finally putting his book down and staring at Claire. 

"Huh...Uncle Sam said I had an Uncle Gabriel when I was a baby." Claire said. "He said he was short and always really funny. That's weird." She said with a shrug of her shoulders until she saw Jack's face. "What?"

"Your Uncle Sam...is he really tall and a lawyer?" Jack asked. Claire stopped and nodded. 

“Yeah...Jack, how did you know that?” Claire asked. Ok, this was no longer weird. This was getting freaky.

"My Uncle Gabriel told me about him. Claire...when's your birthday?"

"May 18th. I'll be-"

"Thirteen?" Jack guessed. 

"Yeah...why?"

"My birthday is May 18th. We have the same birthday. You have an Uncle Gabriel and I have an Uncle Sam. Claire, do you have a picture of your dad?" Jack asked. 

"Yeah. He gave me this necklace for my 9th birthday and put a photo of him and my other dad in it. I think he was sick of me asking questions.” Claire said, unclasping her necklace and handing it over to Jack. Jack flipped open the locket and stared down at the photo. After a moment he pulled out his phone, tapped at the screen, and handed it over to Claire. 

“I found this photo of my dad’s together, scanned it, and put it on my phone so I’d always have it with me.” Jack explained as Claire looked down at the screen. There was her dad, smiling back at her with his arm slung around the shoulder of another man. The man Claire knew was her other father. 

“That’s my dad!” Claire said. “If that’s my dad, and that’s your dad and our birthdays are both on May 18th…”

“We’re brother and sister.”

“Jack, you dumbass, we’re more than that. We’re twins!” Claire said as she stared at Jack. Five minutes ago she’d been an only child with one dad and now...well she had a twin brother and she could finally find out more about her other dad. “Oh my god, I’ve had an idea.”

“What?”

“Jack...have you ever heard of the film The Parent Trap?”

[baejl]

sunbae

ateez 9th member

moon meeting her biggest idol and inspiration 

[this is set right after moon’s comeback after her injure. if you like this kinda interactions, i’ll bring more! just let me know 😊]

masterlist ☾ requests are open feedback is always important to me!

"So, tomorrow we have an interview with ELLE in the morning, then we go back to the studio to record the commercial for MNET and then we come back to rehearse with the dancers..." MOONBEE's manager said, reading their schedule on her agenda. "And then, Moon has to leave earlier to her physiotherapy. Right?"

Moon nodded as she took a big sip of her water as her manager fanned her.

For the past weeks since her return to her 'idol life', her routine was twice as busy as it was. She would wake up before the boys and go directly to the place the rehearse for MOONBEE would be happening - sometimes it'd be on KQ building, sometimes on a rented studio, and sometimes in SM, like that day. They'd rehearse all day and by the night she'd go back to KQ and have her schedule with ATEEZ.

Quite opposite it'd look, she wasn't tired. Of course, somedays days all she wanted to do was go back to the dorm and sleep, but she was so happy to be back that tiredness wasn't enough to keep her from working.

"I think that's all for today!" the manager said. "We can't go home now."

"Finally!" Bee celebrated, laying on the floor. "I'm so tired!"

"Me too..." Moon agreed, helping her to get up.

"Moon-ah," the girl's manager called her and she turned around, confused. "we have to go. The boys are waiting for you."

"What? Already?" Moon asked, shocked. "But it's not even-"

She stopped talking when she checked the hour and it was later than she expected.

"Okay, we're late." she agreed with the woman, going to get her bag in the corner of the room.

"Remember to eat something. You're getting really skinny." Bee made sure to remind Moon as she watched her friend quickly gathering her stuff. Moon walked to her and they made their handshake, loosely hugging each other as they were sweaty.

"Okay, mother." Moon emphasised, laughing. She turned at the staff and waved them a quick goodbye before finally leaving the dance room.

As she walked to the elevator, Moon took the chance to send the boys a quick message to Hongjoong, warning she was done and that she was already heading to the company. Waiting for the elevator, she decided to check her other social media.  

"Sorry, are you going down?" Moon heard someone asking.

When she looked up to see who it was because that voice was more than familiar, she stopped moving, with her mouth opened and her eyes widened. 

That woman was stunning. More than stunning, she was ethereal. From her outfits, it was obvious she was practising but even so, she was so beautiful. 

She was THE Choi Somi. 

"H-hi, sunbaenim!" Moon said, giving her a nervous bow. 

"Oh..." Somi said, looking at Moon. "You're Moon, from ATEEZ, right?" 

Now, Moon was sweating as she had never sweat before. The ring from the elevator brought her back to reality and it didn't get any better when Somi stood right beside her inside it. 

Moon looked at her manager, who winked at her, and then looked at Somi, not believing that was happening. Because of Somi, Moon was able to debut in a group with boys. If Somi didn't have debuted in EXO almost 10 years ago, Moon couldn't think about where she would be now.

"That's right." Moon nodded. 

"My fans talk about you every time I go live or something like that. They're always mentioning me on videos of you dancing and singing." Somi told Moon. 

Moon didn't know if that was a compliment or a critic, but either way, it was Somi talking. She smiled widely. 

"I wanted to meet you." Somi said, making Moon nervously giggle.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." Moon said before she could even stop herself. Somi chuckled and patted Moon's arm. 

"Why?" Somi asked. "I should be like this. Your dance is amazing! Maybe you should give me some tips on how to make those facial expressions."

Moon felt her cheeks warming and tried to hide with her hand, bowing her head at Somi. Unfortunately, their moment was interrupted by the elevator's door opening.

"I need to go now because I'm sure my bed is waiting for me." Somi said, still holding Moon's arm. "Can I give you my Kakao? We can go shopping someday, or eat something."

Moon nodded and unlocked her phone and gave it so Somi could dial her number. Moon would never send her a message, but when Somi gave her phone back and she saw that she had sent it herself, there was nothing Moon could do.

A couple of seconds after, Somi got a notification and checked it, giving Moon a thumbs up.

"That's it!" she said, smiling. "It was really nice to meet you, Moon. Don't give up, okay?"

"Thank you, sunbaenim." Moon bowed once again.

Waving at Moon and her manager, Somi got out towards the parking lot. Moon looked at her manager, who had a big smile on her face.

"Oh. My. God."

[pawjamas]

hey..i’ve been back from my stay at the residential facility for several days now and A lot happened, which i’m putting under a a readmore bc it’s potentially triggering (warning for mentions of s*xual abuse/gasl*ghting/etc) my life is basically being uprooted, so much happened in the month of June and is currently still happening, which i’ll explain below

i was admitted to the residential facility on June 9th, it seemed super promising, there was an abundance of 4-5 star reviews from patients online. my friend who currently is working in the mental health field researched about the facility and also confirmed that it seemed a lot better than most places are. the first day was kind of rough and i knew getting adjusted would be difficult but could never have expected what happened the following several days to happen. i made friends pretty quickly, my roommate on the first day there was very kind to me, she told me if i ever needed someone to talk to that she’d be there for me, we also shared the fact we were both nonbinary/just a lot of things we had in common so it was comforting to know her on the first day there.

i spoke to my psychiatrist the next day who told me i could get off “close observations” which is why i was in the room i was, the label is basically something you get put on if you’re at risk for s*lf h*rm/etc and need a staff member w/ you at all times. so since i was taken off of that i was switched to a different room with a different roommate. she was a 60 yr old woman who was in the other program offered at the facility (mine was mental health related and hers was for substance abuse/addiction) i didn’t feel too comfortable around her the first night, she complained about every single thing, she never participated in the groups offered at the facility, she told me over and over again how much she hated being here. the next few days were a blur and are still very fuzzy, my mind is still keeping all the memories locked away which has happened to me many times before w/ trauma where everything’s vague and not fully there.

basically, over the course i was roommates w/ this woman she groomed me and manipulated me into doing anything she wanted me to do for her, she physically/s*xually assaulted me multiple times, and caused my mental health to plummet even further than i thought was possible. i eventually did get to switch rooms, and i only recalled (again, vaguely) what happened those nights about a week later and reported it to the staff where half of them treated it like a joke. i went to the hospital the night i reported everything to get examined and ended up calling my mom on my friend’s phone (she drove to the hospital and stayed w/ me the whole time) and my mom was probably the worse to take my trauma/situation out of anyone. she told me i should’ve spoken up sooner, asked why i didn’t defend myself from this woman, basically the whole phone call was her blaming me for not doing anything about my assault. when i hung up my friend even told me that what she said wasn’t okay, and was victim-blaming.

i left the hospital and got back to the facility around 1:00 am, and the following days i spent there i was continuously getting worse because being in the environment my trauma had happened was preventing me from healing, plus i literally had to be in the same rooms as the person who had assaulted me and seeing her was extremely triggering. she continuously would call me crazy and delusional and that i made the entire thing up, i had difficulty telling what was real and what was not because of how bad i was treated by her and the staff. i’m thankful i met some really kind patients there that became my friends, they helped me the most out of anyone there. at one point a nurse had pulled me into a room and told me how i should never have spoken up about my abuse, how i should consider how it makes my abuser feel, and stop talking to the friends i made about it. but i’m glad i had people who would actually listen.

i mentioned it once but again, my mom was probably the worst person to talk to when all this was happening, at one point one evening when phones were available i called her and told her i needed to leave, i wanted to come home because this all of this was affecting me so badly, and she screamed over and over that i can’t come home and i have to stay, that it’s too bad that happened but continuing to do the program was more important. at that point i broke down and cried, begging her to let me come home and she screamed repeatedly for me to shut up and then hung up on me.

after that evening i knew that i wouldn’t be taking any shit from her any longer, i called my friend who lived nearby about her the following day or so, asked if i could stay with her at her apartment, which didn’t end up happening because we both worried my mom being as spiteful as she is would take legal action if i did leave w/ my friend instead of my mom. i ended up talking to a couple of the friends i made there that i was having bad intrusive thoughts, and that evening i was baker acted (involuntarily hospitalized) and transferred to another facility, which could’ve been because of the staff or me being reported for the thoughts i was having, but regardless i was away from my abuser and didn’t have to see her again.

the hospital i stayed at was...a lot worse than the other place, i barely got to speak to the psychiatrist/therapist during my entire time there, people would joke about how little time you got w/ them. they ended up keeping me there longer than the required 72 hrs, which i asked multiple people why and never got an answer, at one point my mom wanted to make sure i was sent back to the residential facility of which i had to explain would be detrimental to me and my health, but as usual when she had her mind set on something she won’t listen to reason or anyone who explains other (more beneficial) options.

i ended up calling my friend that lived back in the town i live in, told her the whole story and what’s been going on, and ultimately asked if i could move in with her because her and her family had already offered to let me. she was more than happy to have me move in, so that’s what i ended up planning on doing when i got discharged, was have her pick me up instead of my mom. and i called my mom to tell her that i’d be moving out, all the reasons why it’d be beneficial to us both, she took it horribly and told me if my friend picks me up i can never ever come home again and that i’m kicked out. i told her that’s fine, even though it hurt so badly when she said it.

finally, the following monday i was discharged, my friend from back home picked me up along w/ her husband, and we made sure to get all my things from the residential facility (my clothes/shampoo/makeup/etc) before heading back to her house, which was about an hour and a half drive home.

so now i’m staying w/ her, i still feel out of place and disoriented and uncomfortable but her and her family have been very welcoming. i’m trying to get all my stuff from my mom’s but it’s been a huge struggle to get anything from her because she loves to overcomplicate anything and then make it seem as if it’s all your doing and she’s the biggest, kindest saint ever to grace your life. my friends and i all think she has undiagnosed/untreated bipolar, and i definitely think she at least needs therapy and meds too but she doesn’t believe in either for herself. i just want my stuff back, and i do miss my room a lot and jazzy but there’s no way i’m getting either back, i’m also worried how my mom is treating jazzy because she hates him and i’ve witnessed first-hand what she’s done to him before.

i might post my p*ypal / v*nmo (censoring bc i think tumblr is weird abt posts that have these keywords or smth) because i don’t have any income rn...thank you if you read all this lmao i still didn’t even cover half of the other stuff i went through at the place i was baker acted but essentially my life has been turned upside down and i’m having to figure out how to keep going despite it all

[lokilickedme]

Submitted by @fudgemuffinanon

Ok I think I’m up to date….

1. HOLY SHIT WOMAN! You had Covid and just learned about it? How did you find out? Was it with a test? And you handled the asshat at the grocery store way better than I would have. I’m not patient, nor diplomatic, and I have major RBF syndrome… The temper goes with the face more ofter than I care to admit…

2. Your grandmother’s story was incredible. I know you don’t need another project but this could be a beautiful book. No fandom incorporated, just her story.

3. As @mollage said, the Universe is after you! But you may be one of the strongest woman I know, going through all your adventures with that attitude. Thank you Elizabeth for passing down your fiery spirit!

4. With everything that happened to you in the last few weeks, I can’t expect you to write anything. I’ll just wait and take what you give us. Fuck, I just have to deal with Baby Girl’s online school - Big Boy is responsible enough to deal with his class mostly alone - and I have to tell her to go back to the computer every 5 minutes and I’m going NUTS! And we have one more month to go…

Ontario has been in stay-at-home order since April 8th, and non-essential stores MAY reopen mid-June at 15% capacity and outdoor activities in small groups MAY resume IF we have 60% of population vaccinated with their first dose. We’re about 58% now according to Health Minister but they stopped giving Aztra as first dose, so all the pharmacies that could give it now can’t. There’s a lot less Pfizer and Moderna doses available so I don’t know how fast it will happen. But it means I will most likely get my second dose quicker than August. Yay me! Second phase won’t happen until we get 70% 1st dose vaccination. So we’re stuck for a while. We’re going out in the woods for walks once in a while so we don’t get too close to people but I want to go to a fabric store sooooo bad!! I’m done picking ticks off hubby everytime we get out.  And I’m running out of crafts to learn on youtube. 

Ok, enough ranting…  gotta go finish knitting Baby girl’s bday gift. A 6" turtle. With clothes. And a shawl. And boots. Yeah… Love ya!

*******************************************************

Fudgey!!

Yup. All four of us had covid back in November of 2019, before it broke wide and before anyone really knew it was in the US. Husband was able to track it back to a coworker who’d returned from a family visit to China (he works with a large community of Asian Americans who travel back and forth a lot). The coworker came home sick, and shortly after that our household got the worst “flu” any of us have ever had (that was what we thought it was, a weirdly violent flu that hit each of us differently). I’ve never been sicker in my life, my husband thought I was going to die and he claims I told him to just let me go if it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. I’m pretty sure I meant it…it was that bad. I may have actually requested an assist to the other side at one point.

So anyway, a little while later it broke wide and when the symptom lists started coming out we started wondering if that wasn’t what we’d had. Husband finally a few weeks ago went and talked to the guy that had come back sick from overseas and the guy said “Oh yeah, I had the covid, did you get it too?”

By that time there had been approximately 150 known cases at husband’s workplace and six confirmed deaths from it. Grrrr.

At this point it was too late for us to get confirmed, but husband contacted a friend in Colorado who is a covid specialty ER nurse and described our symptoms and the timeframe of our illness to her. She said we absolutely had it - she’d had it too during that same timeframe, before it broke wide and before anyone knew what it was.

So now all my lingering weird-ass symptoms make sense. Big and Little are fine, they don’t seem to have any long-term problems, though I’m keeping an eye on them (especially Big). Husband is fine as well. Me? I took it in the seat of the pants, but like I was telling someone the other day, as soon as one of the longhaul clinics sets up here I’m gonna be there.

The putz in the grocery store was nothing unusual for here. What really gets me is the way people glare at us for continuing to wear masks - it’s almost scary. WTF is wrong with people.

Glad you liked my grandma’s story. Honestly I don’t know enough to write a book about her without having to speculate on a lot of in-between stuff because she was a very secretive person (probably for a good reason tbh) but what a tale it would be. She was a mess :D My mother has always been mad at me for taking after her - she never liked my grandmother much, there was some bad blood between them from decades back, and yeah that’s kind of a good story too lol

Ah, speaking of writing, I’m going to toss out a short chap of that silly self indulgent side-thing for The Department tonight (probably as soon as I send this reply off) and then I’m shooting for a chapter of the actual fic tomorrow at some point. Taking advantage of the husbandary absence (yes I know that’s not a word but it works)

I feel ya on the homeschooling - the boys finished their semester two weeks ago and the stress of that final week for Big (9th grade) was insane.

I wish we were under a stay-at-home order, but where I live hardly anyone obeyed it when we WERE. I love living here but I swear sometimes the people make me want to move off-planet just to find a higher intelligence demographic.

Anyway, I gotta see this turtle when you’re finished with it. You mentioned it so now you gotta show it. I’m going to bug you every day until you provide pictures because even though I can crochet a blanket like nobody’s business I cannot crochet a doll to save my own ass. Gonna have to rely on you for that ;P

@fudgemuffinanon

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-9)

Word count: 4.2K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: fluff, implied smut, teehee ;)

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: There is no angst in this part whatsoever. Fun break, right? ;)

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23 the best! <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

Kevin kept stealing glances at you. It started out guilelessly, but then he got suspicious real quick.

“Something is up with you!” He finally proclaimed.

You looked up innocently from the bowl you were mixing the batter in. “What?”

“Oh, don’t give me that look. I know something is different today,” Kevin insisted. “Jack, back me up here!”

Jack looked up from his book, sweet and oblivious. “What?”

It only furthered Kevin’s annoyance. “Look at her!” He pointed a finger accusingly at you. “She’s humming!”

“She hums sometimes,” Meg shrugged from her place near the flowerpots in the balcony, where she sat cleaning her telescope.

You winked at her and she blew back a kiss.

“Did you see that!” Kevin shouted. “And now she’s winking!”

“Kev, you need to take it down a notch,” you grinned at him.

“Say what you want, Y/N, I know you’re keeping something from us,” he announced. 

“It’s just that I have an evening to myself for the first time in a while. It’s good to know that I can be in bed by eleven.”

“That’s a good enough reason to hum if you ask me,” Jack said absently. “God knows we’ve all wrecked our sleep schedules beyond repair now.”

“Y/N, Cas and Pam at least have night jobs,” Meg said. “We have zero excuses.”

Kevin gave up on trying to wriggle out the reason for your humming out of you and settled for stealing the cookie batter.

“Let’s not bake this. Let’s just eat this out of the bowl.”

You smacked his hand away, taking the bowl with you to the kitchen counter.

The door to the apartment opened and Cas came in. He looked ready to drop.

There was an outburst of excitement at his entry and he gave everyone a tired but happy smile.

“I thought I’d find you guys here,” he said, dropping on your sofa. 

“Long day?” You asked sympathetically.

He sighed. “It’s always a long day when you’re posted in the pediatric ward. I don’t look forward to it.”

 “But you’re so good with children!” Meg said.

You zeroed in on her. “How do you know that?”

“I-I ran into him at the hospital,” she said, suddenly busy with her lens. “It was nothing.”

Didn’t look ‘nothing’ to you, but you didn’t press her on it. Solidarity was the key to a healthy roommate relationship. Afterall, she had helped you out with Kevin earlier and hadn’t spoken a word about the coat.

You needn’t have worried, because Kevin clearly wasn’t over you.

“Y/N’s keeping something from us,” he complained to Cas promptly. “She’s humming, and smiling and baking those cookies!”

“She does all those things normally,” Cas said. You gave him an exaggerated bow, and Kevin’s jaw dropped.

“Now she’s- she’s doing that!” he spluttered.

You threw the kitchen rag at him. “Why are you scrutinising me with a magnifying glass, when we all should be clearly interested in Jack’s date! Why is nobody asking him the questions?”

“It was good,” Jack said, finally setting the book down. “Claire’s awesome! Hey, Y/N, guess what I found out? Her mom’s a Professor at the law school!”

“Really?” 

“Claire Mills, if it helps,” he added.

Professor Mills. You would have never guessed she had a daughter that old. She didn’t look it. You were instantly reminded of her barging into Sam’s office. What would have happened, if she hadn’t?

“You know what? Fine! Don’t tell me,” Kevin crossed his arms over his chest.

You walked over to him, and ruffled his hair. “It’s really nothing. If it was anything big, I’d tell you.”

It was true. A professor had smiled at you for a bit. That was all there was to it.

“Fine,” he gave in, sneaking away the bowl of cookie batter. “Keep smiling though, you light up the room.”

*************************

9th September 2008

‘You’ll be okay by yourself?” Aunt El asked you, worry creasing her forehead.

“Mom!” Jo groaned. “She’s not by herself! She’s with me.”

Ellen looked at her like that was hardly a good thing and you snickered.

“I worry that instead of her influencing you in a good way, you’re going to spoil her,” she admonished Jo good naturedly. “Please don’t get drunk and annoy the neighbours.”

“We’re totally getting drunk and annoying the neighbours,” Jo whispered conspiratorially behind her mother’s back.

Ellen was heading to Wisconsin for a bar owners convention. At least, that’s what she had told you. Jo believed it was a pretense for her to get drunk with her own friends.

“I’ll help out Jo at the diner,” you told your aunt, getting up to walk her to the door. 

Aunt El placed a hand on your shoulder. “You know you don’t have to, Y/N. Jo has plenty of help there.”

“I want to,” you offered, and she smiled.

“Alright girls,” Aunt El said. “Don’t have too much fun.” She hugged both of you and chasetly kissed your forehead. It was such a pure gesture of affection, it brought back memories of your Gran and the few faded ones of your mom.

“Pick your poison, my sweet child,” Jo grinned, pulling out a bottle of Vodka mere minutes after Ellen’s car had left the driveway. She had a hoard of bottles with her under the table. “We also have Whiskey, rum and this sweet mother of everything holy - Tequila.”

You stared at the assortment of liquor in horror. “Jo, I’ve only ever had beer, and two pints were more than enough to me as high as the holy heaven. This is a stupid idea.”

“In this house, we live for stupid,” Jo said, pouring some of the colourless liquid in a shot glass. “At least when my mother isn’t home.”

You looked at her dubiously.

“C’mon, Y/N, this will be fun!”

Her grin was so infectious that you gave in. 

“Pour away, bar wench,” you said, delicately putting your hand against your forehead like a gothic European woman. Your cousin howled with laughter and slid the glass towards you. “Let’s start with Vodka, shall we?”

The next day you would know that you shouldn’t have started with Vodka. Hell, you shouldn’t have started with anything! It felt like waking up in another reality when you opened your eyes the next morning. In fact, even doing that had been a struggle. The sun was shining too brightly through the tiny slit in the curtains, almost assaulting you in the eyes and your head felt like it had grown a few pounds over the night.

You groaned, wanting to roll over and go back to sleep, but a wave of nausea hit you and you shambled out of the bed, making it just in time to the bathroom to hurl your gut into the toilet. It was nasty and felt neverending. After the puking fit passed, you just curled on your side on the wet bathroom floor, wondering why the hell people put themselves through this? Sure, it had been a fun night, and after the second glass of vodka, you didn’t remember much anyway. Just really vague memories. There was some dancing on the staircase involved, jumping on the bed, and really loud music. Your throat was already sore from all the yelling and laughing, the throwing up had only made it worse.

You tried to recollect why you were in your bra and shorts. Oh, strip poker. You wanted to bang your head against the bathroom tiles, but even moving made the nausea worse. Only the thought of Jo finally made you get up and go looking for her in the house, which was a total mess. There were clothes everywhere. It was like the wardrobes had all burst open spilling clothes all over the house. 

And had there been crying? You remembered in flashes that you were sobbing ceaselessly in Jo’s arms at one point. 

Jo was nowhere to be seen. You did the only logical thing and called her phone.

“Morning, sunshine!” Jo answered on the third ring, voice absolutely nice and chirpy.

“How?” You croaked. 

Jo’s laughter echoed from the other side. “I’m just good at handling it. I was going to wake you before I left for the diner, but you were out for good. Figured you’d call when you woke up. Man, drunk Y/N is my new favourite person in the world. She’s a freaking rockstar! We are so doing this every weekend.”

Well, you wanted to dropkick drunk Y/N from the roof of the house. She got to have all the fun and you were the one to suffer especially when you didn’t even remember anything. From your seat next to the phone you gawked at the clock. It was just past noon.

You groaned.

“There, there,” Jo said sympathetically. “There’s a bottle of Advil on my nightstand. Take two and keep drinking water. You should be better in a few hours, okay?”

“Mhmm…”

“Do you want me to come over?” She asked, sounding worried now.

“I'll be fine,” you answered, quickly.

“Just keep sipping on some water and don’t skip the meal. Eat some bread, I’ve heard that helps, too.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Hey, Y/N,” Jo asked. Her voice hitched, as if she was nervous. “I’m going out with Dean after work. Is it okay with you if he stayed over?”

“Of course!” you said immediately. “It’s no problem at all.” 

“Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”

After hanging up the phone, you studiously did what Jo had said. Took the pills, filled a water bottle and then snuggled up on the couch, playing some mindless sitcom on the TV.

You didn’t pay any attention to it. Instead, you thought about Dean. When you had first met Dean, you were a little unsure about what to make of him. He wasn’t exactly hostile towards you, but it wasn’t hard to spot the wariness, as if he didn't trust you being around Sam, or rather didn’t want to trust. After the funeral that had completely changed. He had been more than welcoming and understanding. In fact, he had taken the time out to show you around the town in his car. According to Jo it was super rare of him and that he must really like you. His words from the graveyard came back to you. “You have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of anyone else.” It had been just for your ears, and you knew exactly who he had been hinting towards.

You wondered idly, if you’d had a big brother, would he have been just as protective of you as Dean was of Sam? But Dean wasn’t just Sam’s brother, he was more than that, he was also a parent. Must have been awful to be the responsible one since such a small age and then doing such a great job. Look at how Sam had turned out to be.

You sighed, readjusting yourself. You so wanted to call Sam, but didn’t want to disturb him when he was busy studying for the Bar. You had taken to dropping by their place in the mornings with food. It made you feel like one of those evil scientists, because Dean’s face would light up the moment he saw you, expecting the pie. It was all really cute. Sam’s eyes, however, were only reserved for you. There was so much longing in them that it made your legs weak. The moment he saw you, though, the longing would be replaced by purest of joys. You would run to him and he’d catch up in his arms, kissing you soundly each time. That feeling, of being so wanted, was the best thing in your life right now. 

It was always the little things. How he never touched you without being completely sure that it was what you wanted. The first night you had stayed over, you had woken up in the middle of the night to find him sleeping on the carpet below you. The sight would have melted the hardest of hearts.

You didn’t know what most couples did, had nothing to compare this with, but Sam was definitely different. He read to you. He would open his textbooks, and read out loud cases and laws and proceedings. You didn’t understand much, but you loved to see him so immersed in it, his deep voice had become an anchor, steadying your life around it.

Once, after much persuasion, he had obliged you by playing a piece of Chopin on the Grand Piano. He said he was rusty, since he had been out of practice for so long, only having started playing again recently. You didn’t understand classical music. Whatever he played, it was all lovely.

On Sundays you would go to the park with picnic baskets, and you would rant about the ducks endlessly. Sometimes Dean and Jo would join you, but mostly it was just the two of you, stealing quiet moments. The soft touch of his rough hands drove you mad sometimes, but he never did anything more than kiss you. At first you wondered if he didn’t want anything more, despite Gran’s ‘boys only want one thing’ speech, and it left you feeling so frustrated. You would have believed it too, that he wasn’t interested in you like that, if you hadn’t seen his pupils dilate after he kissed you. His hands would start shaking a little and he would gulp before pulling away. He felt something, even if he didn’t want to show exactly what it was. 

The clock chimed and you opened your eyes. Had you really fallen asleep again, despite having woken up at noon? The TV was still playing a rerun of Days of our lives. You sat up feeling steadier. In fact, your stomach was settled, too. It was like the hangover of morning had never happened. Despite it being only 6, it was dark outside. You walked to the window to see that the sky was overcast. 

Deciding to listen to Jo’s sage advice, you made yourself grilled cheese and ate it as quickly as you could before getting to the mess that the house was in. Dean would be flabbergasted if he saw the condition of the place. You grabbed all the clothes and folded them neatly into two piles- yours and Jo’s. Seriously? Had there been a drunk fashion show? Then rounded up the empty bottles and put them in the trash can. It took you over an hour to clean the rest of the house.

At least Jo had put the mail inside on the table before leaving. You decided to put it in the drawer for when Aunt El returned from her weekend. As you were sliding it in, you noticed that one of them was addressed to you and on the letterhead of-

You hurriedly tore open the envelope and pulled out the contents. Unfolding the first paper, you went through the content furiously for the words that you were looking for. As you read them, the paper slipped out of your hand, fell onto the table. You were running before you knew it, running out of the house and into the street. It had started raining outside and your feet slipped on the wet pavers of the sidewalks. Several times you slipped and fell, but you didn’t let that stop you. Each time you picked yourself up, running till you were drenched and out of breath, till you had reached his house.

You banged on the door, not stopping until it opened. Sam stood there, his annoyance swiftly melting into first surprise, then concern.

“Y/N!” He ushered you inside, quickly closing the door behind you. 

“Sam... S-Sam,” You tried to say and he immediately dragged you inside. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re shivering and soaked to the bone,” he fretted, seating you on the sofa and throwing a rug over you. “What were you thinking? You know you can’t deal with the cold!”

“Sam,” you said, grabbing his hand to stop him from hovering over you. “I- I got in!”

He came to a halt. “What?”

“I got into North Carolina Central,” you finally managed through chattering teeth. “I got in!”

His grip on your arms loosened just for a second and then he was pulling you to him, kissing you with an emotion that probably didn’t have a name. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, pulling back, a grin of true happiness breaking across his face. “You did it, Y/N! You did it! This is incredible.”

You could see that he meant it. Each word. And his eyes were saying more than that, they were brimming with gratification. Instead of saying anything, you leaned forward and kissed him some more, deeply, pouring all your feelings into it, till a violent shiver ripped through you.

“Shit!” He swore. “You’ve got to get out of these. You can use my bathroom to wash. I'll get you some of my clothes. Not that they’d fit.” He scratched the back of his hair, looking nervous.

Anything to get out of these clothes. Now that you were so cold, you realised just how reckless it had been to get wet in the rain. 

“Come on.” Sam slowly led you upstairs to his room. “I’ll just turn the hot water on for you.”

You looked around Sam’s room as he disappeared in the bathroom. All the times that you had been to the house, he had never invited you up here. Not once. Looking around, you noticed how clean and organised the room was. There weren’t many personal touches, given how little time he had spent here in the past few years, but there was a picture on his table, of him and Dean, laughing at something. 

“In you go,” Sam said, coming out. “There’s a towel for you, and er... I’ll leave the clothes on the bed.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled shyly and walked into the bathroom, clutching at your wet clothes. Locking the door, you stared at the girl in the mirror. She looked bright eyed and… happy. Like the whole world was at her feet. 

The hot shower did calm your nerves, soothing your skin and getting the mud out of your hair. It felt impolite to leave your clothes in the cloth basket at the foot of the sink, but what other choice did you have? Wrapping the towel around your body, you peeked out to make sure you were all by yourself, before stepping out. Sam had laid out a tshirt, a pair of boxers, sweat pants and even a sweater. You felt your face heated up at the sight of them. It felt so intimate to pull on the boxers. You pulled the T-shirt over your head next. It almost reached your lower thigh. Boldly, you decided to ditch the sweatpants, not feeling the need for them after a warm shower.

In the living room, Sam was tending to the fire, his back turned towards you. Feeling brave, you climbed down the staircase. Sam turned at the sound of your feet and his eyes widened, an audible gasp leaving his lips. The reaction was both flattering and encouraging as you walked towards him slowly and kneeled down in front of him. He gulped and breathed out, leaning back just a bit. You moved forward, caressing the side of his face. He sighed as if your touch pained him. 

“Is this not okay?” You breathed uncertainty. “Do you not want this?”

Maybe the hurt was clear on your face, because Sam drew your hand away from his face and placed it over his heart. Through the thin layer of his t-shirt, you could feel it pounding hard.

“Not want this?” He laughed breathily. “It feels like I’ve wanted nothing but you since I first saw you.”

You didn’t understand. “Then why don’t you ever-” you trailed off.

He took your face in his hands, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. “Y/N/N,” he whispered and the hair on the back of your head stood straight at the intensity in his voice. He had never called you that before. “Don’t you see? You’re too good. I-I don’t think I’m saying it right… part of me feels that I don’t deserve this… I don’t deserve you.”

“Sam! What’re you talking about?”

He looked away, not meeting your eyes. It was something you couldn’t bear.

“Do you know what my first thought was, when I saw the acceptance?” You asked gently, placing your other hand which wasn’t resting over his heart, on his face, making him look at you. The very light stubble there prickled the skin of your palm. “That I had to tell you. It was enough to make me run in the rain, because I knew no one would be as happy for me as you would be!”

“I was happy because you deserve this and the world.” His eyes were a liquid galaxy. They held the universe’s power over you.

He still wasn’t getting it. “Sam,” you said, voice low. “I love you.”

His grip on your face slacked and his hands slid down to your shoulders, eyes roving all over your face, like he was trying to memorise every line, every curve of it.

“Y/N.” 

Your name falling from his lips did strange things to your body. Suddenly you were yanked forward and with none of the softness you had come to expect from Sam, but with a desperation that left you reeling. His fingers twisted in your hair and he was kissing you hungrily, like there was no tomorrow, like the world would cease to exist if stopped now. For you it would, if he stopped. You grabbed onto his shoulders, feeling the tense roll of his muscles as his lips traveled down the column of your neck, leaving wet kisses in their wake.

And you? Your body was on fire. It didn’t hurt, just tingled so pleasantly that you never wanted it to stop. An incoherent moan left your mouth as you held on to Sam like dear life.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, voice hoarse.

You nodded, unable to form proper words, and then fumbled with the hem of his t-shirt. God, don’t stop now. Don’t stop ever.

Sam yanked his shirt off of over his head in one swift move and you were left to marvel at that carved out muscles. You ran your hands lightly over his chest, abs and stomach till the skin disappeared beneath the waistband his pants. 

His hands disappeared under your shirt, feeling the skin of your back and shoulders. You shivered and he pulled his hands back. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?” He was nervous, you realised. You dipped down to his chest.

“Yes.”

Before he could do anything else, you stuttered, “Sam?”

His eyes were wide, breath coming pants. “Yeah?”

“I-I’ve never done this before… I want to... but I don’t know how…” your voice trailed off and you looked down at his hands where they held yours. 

Sam placed one finger under your chin and titled it up so he could look into your eyes, “We’ll take it slow… only if you want to. And if you don’t-”

You put your finger to his lips. “I want to, really.” You might spontaneously combust if it didn’t happen now. 

That was all Sam needed to hear. He scooped you up in his arms, and carried you to the very bedroom you had just left. There was no fire here, but the room was dim and his bed was somehow already warm. He didn’t waste a second before his arms were circling your waist. You caught hold of the hem of your t-shirt and pulled it over your head. Sam gasped, his eyes doing that thing again which made you go all weak in the knees, made your bones soft.

“Can I?” His voice was oh so soft, and when you nodded, he pulled you back to him, chest against chest and skin against skin. You’d be damned if it wasn’t the most wonderful feeling in the world.

“God, I love you,” he breathed into your hair. “I’ve wanted to say it for so long. I can’t believe that you feel the same way.” He kissed your forehead. “And you’re so beautiful. Each time I look at you, you take my breath away. What are you doing to me?”

This was what touched you the most about being with him. He treated you like the most precious blessing in the world, like you were some special favour granted to him by destiny when you were just… you. The only reason you could tell him that you loved him so freely was because you knew he felt the same way. How could you not know, when he looked at you like you were his wish come true? His every gesture, every word just went to further prove it. 

But he did try to prove it for every moment of the night, with his touches, kisses and reverences. He tried to prove it over and over. Later, exhausted, after he had fallen asleep, you lay with your head over his arm, thinking that he needn’t have tried at all. You would forever remember that he loves you. It was the one thing you would never question.

*************************

A/N 2: *Wiggles eyebrows* Finally some action eh? ;) Let me know what you think about it. The next chapter is mostly in present times and pretty crucial for the progress of the story, if I do say so myself ;)

Once again, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who commented and reblogged. You are AWESOME!

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[visionsofus]

Wanda and Vision's Mixtape

track #3: Rescue my Heart by Liz Longley

| read on AO3 here | mixtape playlist | send me an ask with your song/prompt request |

synopsis: In which Vision arrives to help break the Cap’s team out of Raft prison post-Civil War. Wanda recalls fond memories of the compound and comes to terms with the idea of living on the run.

CW: depiction of imprisonment

The hum of electricity was the only warning that Wanda Maximoff had before fluorescent white lights impaired her vision. For 15 seconds she was effectively blind as her eyes frantically tried to adjust to the harsh lighting. That was the 9th time she had been abruptly awoken in such a way and the panic never lessened.

Her day at Raft prison started the same as every morning that had preceded it, the door to her cage was opened and she was led to the bathroom to freshen up before being returned for a meagre breakfast. Sometimes she would walk past the rest of the team, they all looked just as battered and exhausted as she felt.

Wanda wasn’t let out of her straitjacket for breakfast and was spoon fed whatever mush they deemed nutritious enough for the day from a metal tray. It was a humiliating experience. It was made worse by the drugs they mixed into her meal each morning that were so strong she would fall asleep an hour later and often not be conscious again until the following morning. She supposed it was their way of trying to keep her under control, little did they know that it was only serving to make her angrier, more dangerous. Walking past her bruised teammates each morning filled her with rage, sitting and being spoon fed by a guard filled her with rage, but underlying it all was a sense of hopelessness, an acknowledgement that maybe she deserved to be in here. Clint had been wrong, getting up off her ass hadn’t fixed anything.

Each morning after eating her vibranium glass door was locked once more and Wanda lied back on the stiff bed that took up most of the space in her cell as she waited for the sedatives to kick in.

In the few hours she’d been conscious in the last week she’d mostly spent her time thinking. Wanda was sure that Steve had to have some sort of plan – she knew that he hadn’t been at the compound when they’d all been taken in – so she didn’t trouble herself with obsessing over a plan to get out. That would just make her panic and she didn’t want to let her powers get out of control, not in such an enclosed space as this. In the meantime, she had decided to bide her time and wait for a sign from Steve.

Instead, her thoughts were consumed with what had happened before her imprisonment. Some of the memories were painful but overall, her time at the compound had been pleasant. She was living in a better space than she had most of her life and while the empty place of her twin brother would never be filled… she was starting to heal. Working more on controlling her powers had been by far the best part of her year. The training made her feel strong, it made her want to protect people. Vision had helped a lot with training, he was one of the only ones who would last long in a fight against her, and their sparring practice had always been a great workout. Not for the first time in the last ten days did she cast her mind back to the last time they had fought.

"Don't go easy on me, Vis," Wanda said raising her hands before her and stepping into a defensive stance.

"If I had been 'going easy on you' Captain Rogers wouldn't have made us fight outside this time," Vision replied his cape fluttering in a non-existent breeze. He was right, the last time they had fought in one of the training rooms the roof had almost caved in. So, they had been forced to relocate outside where the only breakables were themselves.

"Physical combat first?" Wanda suggested. "No magic tricks."

"I am not sure that 'magic tricks' is the most suitable-" Vision began waving a hand lightly between them.

"Too slow,” she cut in, lunging forward and grabbing Vision’s arm, kicking his leg out from beneath him. Her leg swung right through him as he phased without hesitation.

Hand to hand combat without the fire power of their respective powers had always been their weak point in training, they had both come to rely so heavily on the magic of the stone that was so intrinsic to both their identities that it was difficult to not depend on it. Nonetheless, they needed to be ready for a situation where close quarter combat meant explosive power wasn’t an option.

Wanda took Vision’s next oppening to try and unbalance his other leg, but he was prepared for the kick this time and managed to dodge. They sparred for what felt like half an hour but in reality was only a few minutes, neither gaining any traction aside form a few hits to the ribs each.

In a desperate attempt to land a blow Wanda side-stepped Vision’s throw, ran for the wall at her back, kicked off it with one well-placed foot (aided in force by a little bit of her power) and launched herself at Vision. She would have landed a significant hit in the chest if he hadn’t turned and caught her just at that moment.

Wanda slammed into him and Vision was left supporting her effortlessly with one hand around her waist, she in turn pressed a steadying hand against his shoulder, immediately aware of how close they were. She was breathing heavily; her hair likely a mess about her face from where it had come loose from the ponytail she had tried to gather it up in. Vision’s eyes were focused wholly on her own, wide and darting across her face and for a moment she was tempted to reach into his mind and feel what was running through it. His mind was sometimes… difficult to navigate, even when he did let her in to communicate.

Vision slowly lowered her to the ground.

“I—” he began but didn’t have the chance to continue because Wanda had pressed her hands against his chest and sent an almighty wave of psionic energy through her palms. Before Vision could continue, he was launched into the air, flipping once before using his own powers to stop himself in mid-air. “I thought you said physical combat?” His brow was furrowed at her trick, but there was something shadowing his eyes beyond that and it made Wanda want to tease him more.

“Oops,” she said and launched herself at him again as he reached the ground. Vision hadn’t expected the fight to continue so Wanda managed to dive cleanly for his waist, hitting his chest with all the force thrown behind her shoulder in an attempt to take him down. It wasn’t a pretty or graceful move, but she’d thought she’d chosen the right moment to catch him sufficiently off guard. He twisted them in mid-air, and they fell to the ground together, his powers softening their landing.

“This is supposed to be a fight, Vis,” Wanda said content to fold her arms in mock disapproval, gazing up at him.

“I know,” he said, and they were close enough she could feel his breath flutter against her face from where he was, holding himself above her. “I’m just using the same cheat techniques of seduction that you’ve been using on me.”

A laugh bubbled up despite the embarrassment that was making her cheeks flush. Perhaps Wanda had teased him too much?

“Is it really cheating if it works?” Wanda asked deciding to push him that little bit further. She lifted one hand to his chin and trailer a single finger down his throat, she could’ve sworn his eyes started to glow a little. He lowered himself a little more until their noses were brushing and right when he closed his eyes she acted.

Taking advantage of his surprised state she lifted her leg and kneed him squarely in his chest, sending forth a second pulse of power. Yet again he flew away, this time so distracted that he fully hit the wall behind them, causing cracks to cobweb out through the concrete.

“That,” Vision said as he floated to the ground, rubbing at the back of his neck and rolling his shoulders, “was not fair.”

“Nothing’s fair in love and war.” Wanda shrugged pleasantly, but instinctively reached out to see if hitting the wall had caused any real pain.

“Don’t worry, it’ll take more than a concrete wall to hurt me.”

“Just checking.”

“I told you two to train, not flirt and break the walls,” a clearly grumpy Steve said as he made his way out into the courtyard. A few minutes too late the pair realised that they’d had a small audience looking on from within the compound.

“I have no idea what you’re talk about,” Wanda said crossing her arms and walking over to make her way back inside.

“Yes Captain, what exactly do you mean?” Vision asked, joining in on her denial as the pair went inside.

“Break another wall and you won’t be able to fight each other anymore,” he warned but was smiling in a way that told Wanda he was glad for their progress in training.

“Yeah, but what happens when they can’t take their tension out on each other through training?” Sam whispered to Natasha in a way that made it clear he intended everyone else to hear.

Wanda let herself come back to the unfortunate reality she was now confined to live in. She had been replaying similar memories for the last ten days, Vision was a common feature of the happy memories, but the rest of the team also filled her thoughts. It was something to keep the worse thoughts at bay and her pent-up power in check.

The loud clank of the prison gates surrounding her cage as the guards changed watch startled Wanda slightly. There was always noise here and it had been getting on her nerves for approximately eight and a half days now. Back at the compound her room was soundproof so she could enjoy silence when she needed. It had made it easier to focus on honing her powers and reaching out with her mind to try and feel the other people at the compound. That's not to say that her concentration wasn't often broken by Vision floating through her bedroom wall, usually stopping by for a profound chat about humanity or to ask her to explain human quirks he couldn't find sufficient answers to online.

Wanda missed him. As she lay on the bed waiting to be taken to the bathroom before breakfast, she closed her eyes and let her mind reach out. The noise and light made it difficult to retain focus as she reached further through the walls. She recognised the rest of her teammates minds and brushed over the guard’s minds, not wishing to delve too deep into their thoughts. The effort it took almost made her loose her breath and she let the power go. Telepathy was still a lot easier at closer proximity.

She was about to stand up and try and get a guard’s attention to let her out to the bathroom when she felt her hands begin to tingle within the straitjacket. Something was about to happen. Wanda did her best to get her hair out of her face with her hands bound. Her instincts were all she had to rely on as she turned slowly in a circle within the cage, waiting.

Abruptly, soldiers began yelling and hands flew to their weapons. Half a dozen of the black clad guards ran to her cage, circling around her and assuming a defensive position with their guns raised at the various doors leading out of her enclosure.

"Something wrong?" Wanda asked innocently.

To no surprise, her guards didn’t respond.

Wanda felt her powers rising faintly beneath her skin, calling out to an unknown force.

“Who’s there?” One guard to her left barked gruffly. Her call was answered a moment later as one of the heavy, steel doors was blown to bits. A pipe burst from above and dust fell from the trembling ceiling. A powerful steel beam flew out and struck two of the guards in front of her and they flew across the room. Wanda smiled for the first time in 9 days when she saw the figure that emerged from the dust and rubble.

Two guards made out for Vision, their guns firing but he phased easily avoiding the bullets and grabbed one guard in each hand and threw them to the side. Wanda noted how, despite everything, Vision didn’t cause any unnecessary harm to the people themselves and used only enough force to incapacitate them.

Wanda let her own power grow, feeling the straitjacket begin to strain as the powerful red mist from her hands spread and tore at her restraints. Feeling her power well up like a damn about to break she let out a yell as she tore her arms free of their constraints.  The power that exploded forth shattered the cage surrounding her, forcing the remaining guards to dive in order to avoid the flying shards. Two of them made a move to get her but she raised her hands and subdued them, sending them to the ground unconscious as her eyes burned a deep red.

Alarms were blaring now, and the lights appeared to be flickering overhead but no more guards came from the behind the destroyed doors.

Wanda turned in a full circle, expecting another fight but the only one still standing was Vision. He reached for her just as her legs, weakened from the sudden burst of power after 10 days dormant, made to give out from under her.

“Vis,” she said stretching her arm towards him as he stopped her from falling.

“Wanda,” he murmured, the relief emanating from him was clear. He gathered her up into his arms and hefted her against his chest gently, an arm tucked behind her back and one under her knees. "We must go."

“But the others–”she began as Vision rose up from the ground.

“Captain Rogers will see to getting them out safely,” Vision said and shot for the ceiling of the prison, the stone in his head sending a powerful beam through the roof and carving them out an escape route.

Wanda reached out with her hands and used her power to stop any of the rubble hitting them on the way out. The moment they hit the crisp air outside Wanda let loose a cry of relief. She was hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion. It was likely due to the lack of food and sunlight but perhaps it was also because she finally felt safe for the first time in 9 days. She reached up and wound her arms around Vision's neck, pulling herself into his chest to avoid the harsh wind that was whipping the ocean below into a turmoil.

Wanda pressed one of her palms against Vision and tried to communicate her gratitude. As he flew her away from the prison, she took solace in the stability of his power, the power they both shared.

By the time Vision arrived at the coordinates Captain Rogers had directed him to, Wanda was fast asleep. The safe house was a quaint little thing, far less grand than what any of them had grown accustomed to at the compound. But it was well off the beaten track, down a winding driveway and hidden in a copse of dense trees. Still, Vision remained on guard.

The house was two stories high and distinctly cubic in appearance. Its exterior was simple and seemed more built for durability than aesthetic.

As Vision's feet reached the dewy ground Wanda stirred in his arms.

“Where are we?” She asked sleepily, slowly coming to her senses.

“Somewhere safe,” Vision said as he approached what appeared to be the door of the house. It was a small grey rectangle that blended in with fairly well with the rest of the unattractive building.

“It's ugly,” Wanda noted turning her head to look at the looming grey building.

“We can’t really afford to be picky,” Vision said in amusement before stopping abruptly as the front door opened.

“About damn time,” Natasha Romanov said smiling grimly at the pair who seemed so out of place against the backdrop of the thick forest. "You'd better get inside."

“Natasha,” Vision said nodding his greeting, and the unspoken truce now struck between them, as he passed her in the doorway.

“Vision,” Romanov returned the greeting. “How are you feeling Wanda?”

“I'm tired even though I've been sedated for the last nine days, I'm not hungry even though I haven't eaten a real meal in two weeks, and I feel like being locked in a straitjacket has done terrible things to my joints,” Wanda said looking down at her arms.

“We’ll see to it that you get fixed up,” Natasha said and began leading them through the rest of the house. “It’s not much but it’s better than nothing and we should be able to lay low for a while.”

Each room was simple with the bare minimum incorporated into the cubic design. On the ground floor they walked through a kitchen where a small table was cramped by five chairs, and beyond it was a living room occupied by what looked like a musty couch and a collection of mismatched pillows.

“There's a couple of bedrooms upstairs, I'll go get a first aid kit and see if we can get you hooked up to an IV,” Natasha said gesturing to the staircase they had arrived at and darting off down another corridor.

"You can put me down now," Wanda said looking up at Vision.

"We're almost there now, I might as well carry you the rest of the way," Vision said taking the stairs two at a time. When they reached the top, he ducked through the first doorway they found and into a small bedroom. There was a single bed in the corner, a chair opposite it and a window facing out over the forest they had come in from. Vision looked curiously at the window, marvelling at the way it had been created so that from the outside it appeared there were no windows but those inside still had the ability to monitor their surroundings. The house was effectively a bunker and seemed to be built to withstand a small attack, this helped put him a little more at ease.

Vision set Wanda down on the bed and she sagged against the pillows.

"You shouldn’t have come for me," Wanda said swallowing thickly as she turned on her side so she could see Vision properly as he stood in front of the window.

"I'm only sorry that I didn't come sooner," he said turning to face her. "I’m sorry I let you go. I should have stopped them from taking you."

"No you shouldn't have, you did the right thing," Wanda insisted, doing her best to remain seated despite every bone in her body asking for rest. "Vis you signed the Sokovia Accords, at the moment we're fugitives and if they find us with you…” she trailed off and shivered at the thought of him being caught.

"That is a risk I am willing to take," Vision said firmly, his eyes locked on Wanda's, their gaze only breaking when Natasha entered the room with two IV bags.

"I've never actually hooked someone up to one of these before," Natasha said turning the bag over in her hand as though expecting to find instructions.

"I can do it," Vision said taking them from her.

"Have you done this before?" Wanda asked hesitantly.

"No," Vision replied hooking the IV bag up to a tube and preparing a needle from the first aid kit, "but I understand how it has done and I’ve read about it online."

"Better you than me I suppose,” Natasha asked taking the seat opposite the bed.

"Just don't miss my vein," Wanda grumbled and stretched her bare arm out for Vision.

"What happened while we were locked up?" She asked, wincing slightly as Vision slid the needle into her arm.

Natasha began to describe the events of the last few days. How Tony had broken into the Raft and got information from Sam about Steve and Bucky's location and subsequently got himself beaten to a pulp. Just as Natasha finished updating her there was the sound of boots on the stairs.

"It's ok, it's just the others," Natasha assured them when Wanda and Vision both startled at the sound.

"Well, isn't this a nifty little safe house that you've got going here?" Sam said as he poked his head around the doorframe and stepped into the small room. "Wanda, Vision, thanks for leaving the rest of us behind."

"Enough Sam, without Vision things wouldn't have gone over as smoothly," Steve said clapping the Falcon on the shoulder. Steve was the only other one to enter the room and looked as though he’d spent a few days in Raft with them. His left eyebrow was split along the side and he was sporting bruises and cuts that were clearly healing more quickly than the average human but still looked painful.

"Where's Clint and Scott?" Vision asked, finishing with Wanda's drip and hanging the bag from the metal frame that Natasha had also brought up to allow the fluids to drip down.

"They decided to stay," Steve said, eliciting a sound of surprise from Natasha, "seems that they have been negotiating with the Secretary of State who is willing to allow them to live with their families under house arrest."

"That makes sense," Natasha said nodding thoughtfully. "What about you?"

"I'm not going to serve time for something that wasn't wrong in the first place," Sam said shrugging and leaning against the wall behind him.

"In the meantime, we need a plan," Steve said folding his arms and looking at the small group gathered in the room that was far too cramped for comfort.

"Hmm not sure I feel so good about Vision, still," Sam said shrugging. "Up until last week we were on very different sides."

"I am not here as an Avenger on 'Mr. Stark's side'," Vision said stepping up to Sam and looking him directly in the eyes. "Remember I helped get you out of that prison."

"Come on now guys, that’s enough." Steve said putting a hand on each of their shoulders and pushing them apart. "We have bigger problems."

"What could be bigger than being fugitives?" Wanda asked, meaning it to sound more light-hearted than it ended up coming out.

"For now, we’re safe and that’s what matters, this house seems good enough to lie low until we figure out our next steps,” Natasha said shrugging, looking around at the grey, boxy room.

"Year that won’t be happening, the house is Stark's," Steve said rocking back on his heels, he’d clearly been waiting for the right time to break the news to them.

"What?" Natasha and Wanda exclaimed at the same time.

"Tony knows about this? Why didn't you tell me?"

"He's been acquiring safe houses like this for a couple of years now," Steve replied.

"Talk about paranoia," Wanda muttered.

"You think Tony knows we are here?" Natasha asked standing up to join Vision who had returned to his post, looking out the window.

"I do not believe that Mr Stark's attention is turned in your direction for the time being," Vision spoke up. "But it is possible that this is not the best place for you at the moment."

"Don't worry, we'll be ok staying here for the night but tomorrow you need to move out," Steve said gesturing to Wanda, Sam and Natasha. "You're on the run now, that means avoiding as many people as you can. At the moment we don't have wanted posters plastered across the media, but you can be sure as soon as the press gets word of our escape Ross is going to have them broadcasting everywhere to try and recover us."

"What about me?" Vision asked turning to face Steve.

"You're going back to base, tonight," Steve said firmly.

"I will not leave," Vision replied just as surely.

"Yes, you will, Vis," Wanda said adjusting how she was sitting on the bed. It seemed that already the drip was helping with her energy levels and Vision could see some of the colour returning to her face.

"At the moment, no one has any idea that you have left the compound and it's better if it stays that way," Steve said and gestured to the group before him, "the rest of us are outlaws, but you still have a duty to Tony and the Sokovia Accords."

"I will not leave," Vision repeated.

"He's right Vis," Wanda began reaching for his arm and gripping it tightly.

"I know logically that I have to leave but I don't want to." Vision reluctantly corrected himself gazing intensely at Wanda.

"You have to." She whispered.

The room was quiet for a moment as Vision's mind processed things at a million miles a second. Perhaps he would be of more help from the compound where he was in the know regarding all information surrounding the fugitives before him. Perhaps, as painful as the idea was to him, the best way to keep Wanda from harm would be from a distance.

"Very well,” he sighed, and Wanda's lips turned up in a small, soft smile.

"Good," Steve said folding his arms. "We leave in the morning, we'll go the same way until we reach the border and then I'll split from the group to go for Bucky while you guys continue on. From now on we're going to be doing a lot of running."

"Thank goodness, being locked up in a cage for the last 9 days was deadly boring,” Wanda said cynically.

"Damn Cap," Sam said his sigh tainted with disbelief. "I don’t wanna be the one to say it, but what’s our end goal here?"

"At the moment, stay alive and free. This might be a road that doesn't end for a while, if ever." Steve turned to leave the room. "There's some food in the kitchen downstairs but for the time being you should all get some rest. Vision thank you for your help, it was appreciated." He clapped Vision on the shoulder as he left the room, his footsteps thudding down the stairs again.

"Alright Wilson, let’s get you some food and ice for that nasty bruise," Natasha said guiding Sam from the room and closing the door behind her. Vision was quiet for a moment as he turned back to the window trying to quiet the million and one thoughts running through his head. He was so distracted it took Wanda calling his name twice for him to register.

"Yes sorry."

"I asked if you’re alright?"

"I should be the one asking that," Vision said shaking his head and turning to sit on the edge of Wanda's bed.

"That doesn't mean I can't ask you too," she said curling her legs up beneath her and gazing at him intently.

"I don't want to leave… but I have already caused Mr. Stark more than enough trouble and I fear that if I remain with you, I will only put you at risk."

"What happened back in Germany wasn't your fault Vis, I'm sure Rhodey doesn't blame you," Wanda said reaching out to squeeze his arm and the touch alone helped clear his mind.

"I'll see you again won't I?" Vision asked turning his head towards Wanda. "I have been rather….lonely the last nine days, three hours and 47 minutes."

Wanda smiled and rolled her eyes. "Of course you'll see me again, silly."

"I do not believe I was asking a silly question."

"I promise you'll see me again," Wanda said, serious this time, putting one hand over his and Vision sensed the power beneath her touch and the emotion coursing through her palm. "I'll find a way to communicate with you but for now you have to pretend that you never saw us."

Vision nodded silently and rose, the feeling of Wanda's touch still lingering on the back of his hand.

"Go,” she whispered settling back against the wall again.

Vision didn't see any point in saying goodbye, not when he was so sure that they would be seeing each other again soon. Instead, he settled for something simpler, "Until our next meeting." Before he could lose his nerve, he leant down and brushed his lips against her forehead. Wanda’s breath caught as he did but when he drew back her face was lit with a soft, gentle smile. She watched on in dismay as Vision straightened up, stepped forward, and with a final look at her phased through the wall and out into the world beyond. Wanda turned her eyes to the ceiling waiting for her exhaustion to consume her as Vision sped away, not trusting himself to leave quietly if he hesitated any longer.

They’d see each other again, he was certain of it.

[sweetflowerboi]

TW: mentions of pet illness, cancer and death

It just hit me, and really hard, that over a year ago we had to put down one of our beloved pups. Her name was Tsubaki and she was one of the sweetest dogs in the world.

Quite a few years back she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had a surgery to get the cancerous tumor removed. But as we all know, that doesn’t get rid of the cancerous cells. Our vet back in Washington told us to continue getting yearly blood work done on her in order to keep track of her white blood cell count. And we did, until we got to Georgia.

Our previous vet (before we started taking our pets to a new vet because of the whole ordeal) told us she didn’t need to get her blood work done every year, that there’s “no possible way the cancer could come back” if she’d been post op for years at that point.

My mom believed him (and ultimately blames herself cause of it) and didn’t get Tsubaki’s blood work done. Well, three years later a lump started forming on Tsubaki’s head. This was in the midst’s of the pandemic so we couldn’t do much about it. But when it just continued getting bigger we set an emergency appointment through that vet, only for him to grab it (this was protruding out of her skull btw) and shake her fucking head by it. Deducing that it was “just bone and part of a dog getting old”.

After many, MANY useless appointments my parents, now fed up with the bullshit, had me contact my s/o at the time to ask them where they took their pups. We went to see that vet (who we’ve stayed with since then) and he cut straight to the chase. He told us based off of all of the test and blood work done that Tsubaki’s cancer did come back and it was worse than ever before. The tumor had formed in her brain and got so large that it was the cause of the bump on her head. He didn’t lie, we only had two options from there.

Either we put her through experimental treatment or we put her down, in which he would support us through both options. My parents talked for a bit and made one of the hardest decisions a pet owner should ever have to make. They decided they were going to make her as comfortable as possible until she was ready to go. That same week we had to take her in to get euthanized, she had lost her flame and the will the fight. After all of the vet appointments and the poking and prodding, she had just…given up. She was tired, broken down, hurting.

So instead of putting her through anymore suffering my parents set the appointment for October 9th, 2020. That morning i said my final goodbyes and looked my sweet girl in the eyes to tell her I loved her one last time, before letting my parents take her to her final appointment.

She was a good dog, she lived a happy and healthy life. And I think she knew that, I whole heartedly believe she knew how much we love her, my parents said there wasn’t fear or sadness in her eyes or body language when the doctor put her down. They said she was the same calm, and loving dog that we grew to know and love until the very end.

May she Rest In Peace and never forget how much each of us truly loved her.

Tsubaki, June 2011 - October 2020

[k-llama-llama]

Blueming

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Tori’s debut is here!

A/N:  A couple of notes: one, this is pretending that her debut was right after Back Door promotions ended. Second, there will be a post later with outfits, some videos, etc. Stay tuned. Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

Tori was having the best day of her life.

She’d been so terrified for her solo debut, scared of what her boys would think and of what the fans would say, that she’d worried herself sick almost every night that week.

But now that she was standing on the stage, with the knowledge that her song was charting, she was able to relax and enjoy herself.

It wasn’t really a showcase – it was more of a livestream that fans had to preregister for. She’d already performed her song, and then she had a short Q&A before she performed her final song of the evening, which was an acoustic version of an unreleased Stray Kids song. Chan had gifted it to her in order to celebrate her debut, and she knew a lot of fans had been excited to see it.

It had been really weird performing in front of just cameras and a crew but getting to interact with the fans over live stream had made it seem a bit more normal.

Their manager signaled for her to give the ending statement.

“Thank you everyone so much for tuning in!” Tori waved at the camera. “I am so proud to have shown you all of my skills in my first single, Blueming. I hope I’ll be able to continue to show you all a Tori that you can love and support! I’ll see you all soon.” She waved and blew kisses until the cameras were off.

The staff all applauded as soon as they were given the all clear.

“Thank you so much everyone!” Tori exclaimed. “I think it went really well!”

“You did really well.” The stage director said. “I think our final number was almost four hundred-“

“AHHHH!” Someone tackled Tori, lifting her off of the ground and spinning her around.

She screamed, hitting back at the arms. “HYUNJIN! STOP IT!”

He set her down, laughing as she tried to catch her balance. “What?”

“I almost had a heart attack.” She gasped. “What are you doing here? What are all of you doing here?”

The rest of the group walked up on the stage, Felix holding a massive bouquet of blue roses.

“We had to come celebrate with you.” Chan said. “We’ve been watching from backstage the entire time.”

“You have?” Tori grinned, taking the bouquet from Felix. It was as big as her entire torso, but she kind of loved it. “What did you think?”

“Well, we heard the song this morning.” Jisung said. “So generally disappointing.”

“Ignore him.” Minho shook his head. “The choreography was really nice. It was cool to see all of it.”

“It was super cute.” Seungmin did a little imitation of her dance. “Really going to fit well in Stray Kids concerts.”

“Yah, you guys aren’t being very supportive.” Tori crossed her arms.

“Noona, you did so good.” Jeongin wrapped an arm around her waist, careful not to squish her flowers. “The song is beautiful and the dance is awesome and you look-“

“Would you stop sucking up to her.” Changbin complained. “We get it, she liked you the best.”

“I do like him the best.” Tori hugged the maknae. He just smiled and leaned into her side. He was way too tall now, but the difference was slightly made up by her heels.

“I just can’t believe you actually wore that outfit on stage.” Felix looked her up and down. “I kinda thought it was just a one-off for the music video.”

Tori looked down at her outfit. “You thought I was given a baby blue mini dress covered in fluffy pompoms and I wasn’t going to wear it on stage? Do you even know me?”

“Can you even dance in that thing?” Hyunjin poked it. “You only wore it for the acoustic stage.”

“I’m wearing it to Music Bank tomorrow.” Tori gave a little spin. “Why? Do you not like it?”

“You look really nice.” Changbin said.

“I mean…we can’t really see you behind that monstrosity of a dress.” Jisung noted.

Tori shook her head with a smile. “You guys are just upset that you couldn’t pull this off.”

“I don’t know how we lived without wearing pompom dresses.” Felix deadpanned.

Minho checked his imaginary watch. “As cool as the dress is, do you want to go get changed so we can take you out for dinner?”

“What, I can’t wear this to the restaurant?” She passed her flowers to Jeongin.

“It’s a fire hazard.” Seungmin told her.

“Urgh, fine.” Tori groaned. “I’ll go.”

“Great, we’ll go get our stuff.” Felix said. “Meet you at the car.”

They all started to walk off, Tori lagging behind to hand her mic pack to the stage director. When she reached the stairs to leave the stage, Chan was the only one standing there.

“Don’t you have to go get your stuff?” She asked.

He held up a hand. “I figured I’d make sure you made it down the stairs safely.”

Tori smiled, taking his hand and navigating the six steps on her heels.

“You did really good today.” Chan said as soon as she was down, starting to walk with her.

“Thank you.” She grinned. “And I’m so glad you guys came. I know you’re all tired too.”

“We weren’t going to miss it.” Chan promised.

“And…I know I already said thank you, but I can’t thank you enough for lending me the song. I think the fans really liked it. It’ll probably get a lot of attention on our next album.”

“Lending you the song?” Chan looked at her quizzically. “What are you talking about? It’s yours.”

“It’s a Stray Kids song.” Tori protested. “I was just using the preview. You can’t let the fans down and just waste it on me.”

“I’m not wasting it on you.” He shook his head. “It suits you. And since your first song is so darn good, I know that your full album will be even better.”

“My full album!” She exclaimed. “Are you kidding? It took me forever to produce one song.”

“So? However long it takes, I have a feeling this song is going to be better for you than it ever could have been for us.”

“Really?” Tori looked down at her dress, playing with one of the pompoms. “I appreciate that.”

“I really mean it.” Chan nodded. “Besides, I….uh…I wrote it for you anyways.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. A while ago.” He sighed. “So I figure you should have it. But now you have to work hard and make sure it has an amazing album to go on.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Tori shook her head. “I still have to survive solo promotions.”

“You can do it.” Chan encouraged. “I know you can.”

“Thanks.” She said, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “So…where are you guys taking me for dinner? Chicken? Barbeque?”

“I think a salad bar.” Chan winked. “We don’t want you to get sick for your show tomorrow.”

“Yah! I worked hard, I deserve chicken!”

[atinymonster]

from the heart

ateez 9th member.

jiyu’s heartfelt confessions on the beach during ateez treasure film.

smaller text is the editor’s comments! also just a heads up, i’m considering not using the taglist after this post :(

➴ taglist: @galacticstxrdust, @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy

➴ masterlist

“Don’t cry, Ji!” Hongjoong called after her as the boys watched her run to the the staff on the shore. Well, more like waddle–run.

“Don’t jinx it!” she shouted back.

[The leader loves teasing the maknae ㅋㅋㅋ]

Hearing the other members’ confessions was an emotional rollercoaster for her—one minute, she was laughing at Wooyoung for confessing his wrongdoings in the ramen incident, then the next, she was tearing up at San and Seonghwa’s confessions about their doubts and insecurities.

As for her, a lot of people might think she doesn’t have many worries due to her calm, yet bright personality that she shows. But looks could be decieiving, right?

She bit her lip in thought as she fiddled with the little ATEEZ flag in her hand.

[Jiyu seems to have a lot to say...]

“Everyone!” she cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted with all her might. Hearing them all shout back, she smiled before taking another deep breath. “First of all! I’m sorry if me being the only girl makes any of you uncomfortable! My addition to your group must have been weird, and I was scared of being a burden to you all!”

[The maknae feels sorry as she opens up her heart.]

This was something Jiyu never confided in anyone. She always thought her addition to the group was frowned upon, despite the encouragement and love from ATINY over the years. It hurt in the beginning before their debut to read the negative comments, saying that her addition would only bring them down, or that she wouldn’t add anything to the group.

In the beginning, it got so bad to the point where she was always anxious whenever they had a public appearance. Meeting fans was so hard for her, but she never told anyone, not even her members.

Feeling herself tear up once again, she sheepishly chuckled before fanning her face. She hasn’t cried this much in a day in years. The staff members handed her tissues, whispering words of comfort to the young girl.

[The youngest finally cries...]

The eight boys’ hearts ached at her confession. Rather than feeling weird, they were all mainly worried for her; worried if she could handle living with eight boys, worried if she could handle the rigorous choreographies (which they figured out later that she seemed to handle it better than some of them), and most of all, worried about netizens negative comments towards her.

“We never thought it was weird!” Yunho shouted, trying to reassure her from the fenced area.

San shouts after. “You’re our baby monster! Who made you think that?”

“Yunho and Mingi can give them a visit! Their height can be intimidating!” Wooyoung added, making Jiyu tearily chuckle.

[The boys’ hope their sincerety reaches the youngest.]

“But most of all!” she continued, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking me in when I had an uncertain future! You’ve shown me nothing but kindness and love since the beginning and I really really appreciate it! Despite our little arguments and differences, you were all really open–minded and tried to find the middle ground with me! And—”

She suddenly remembered the night where she revealed her broken family story to them, making her choke on her tears again. “I really consider you all to be part of my family! And I really mean it when I say that if I was given the option again to debut with you all or not, I’d always chose you guys! Negative comments and all!”

She made a big heart over her head. “I love you all!”

[And Jiyu hopes her sincerety reaches them.]

“We love you, too!” they all shouted back, each mimicking her and making a big heart with their arms over their heads.

[Their sincerety reached one another.]

With a satisfied smile, Jiyu bowed to the staff before running back. Seonghwa immediately wrapped her up into a comforting hug before using his jacket to gently wipe her teary eyes. “We never considered you a burden, little one,” he mumbled, rubbing her head as he rocked her from side–to–side. Jiyu peered up in his embrace, eyes starting to water once again.

“Aigo, she’s crying again,” he cooed, affectionately ruffling her hair. “But he’s right. You’ve been an amazing addition to the family. Trust me, you were a breath of fresh air from these kids.” he teased, but his tone was full of love.

“Remember, nine makes one team!” Yunho added, as he and the others joined in on the group hug.

“Who was I going to tease for being the new youngest if you weren’t here?” Jongho playfully added, succeeding in making her snort.

“Thank you guys. For everything you’ve done and more.”

Everything she’s confessed, all of her love that she proclaimed, it was all from the bottom of her heart. And if she had the option of debuting solo, or even in a girl group, she’d reject them just to join the eight boys once again in their journey.

[Their love is making us cry, too ㅠㅠ]