#she/her trans men are VALID and if you disagree i don’t want to hear it. clown on some other post. this is a HAPPY POST

[hyperfix8ed]

vanya hargreeves who helped her mother pick out the name vanya because the book said it was a masculine name

vanya hargreeves who grew up in an environment where gender didn’t truly effect her or any of her siblings, but knew she was closer to five and ben then she was to allison anyway

vanya hargreeves who swapped skirts for shorts with any brother (generally klaus) who would take them

vanya hargreeves who came across the word transgender in college, and smiled

vanya hargreeves who has always been trans and non-binary and chose to keep using she/her pronouns anyway

vanya hargreeves who doesn’t experience a lot of social dysphoria, because honestly, social situations are already a nightmare and the gender she is perceived as doesn’t actually have a lot to do with it

vanya hargreeves who decides that what she has is enough

vanya hargreeves who has always known who she was, even if she didn’t really ever say it

(vanya hargreeves who is happier now, with her family by her side and apocalypses long over. for the first time in her life, she stands up at the dinner table

“i would like to tell you guys something,” she says. and she smiles.”)

[peterjonesparker]

Yeah I totally saw it as woman hating (and maybe envy) and not at all about validation of whether someone feels they are a woman or not because of the ability to get pregnant. It may a little bit because I am just going by that post out of context. (Which should have had some because it reads BADLY) I haven't wanted to watch that show anyway because so much of what I have seen from people talking about it online is misogyny or glorified woman hating, and things like the other anon said

personally, from what I've seen of pose, I don’t think it’s glorified misogyny or woman hating. to me it feels much more like a portrayal of a large part of queer culture in the 1980s that focuses on the experiences of trans women of color and gay men of color, which aren’t voices we get to hear very often. from what I saw of the show, there was tension between the trans women of color and the white cis women, but to me those scenes didn’t feel misogynistic but more portrayed the transmisogyny of the cis white women. which feel free to disagree but I REALLY do not think pose is misogynistic or woman hating. it’s not been something I saw in the show nor something I've seen people mention online and I've tried googling to find articles that talk about it but didn’t find any. and like I hate to assume but imma say a large portion of the people who think pose is misogynistic might be terfs, so. do with that what you will.

also, thinking more about that set of images, I don’t really see them as misogynistic. I feel like there is enough context to know that this white cis gendered woman has clearly asking this trans woman of color to leave. and this trans woman is responding to that. and I don’t see envy AT ALL in those sets of images. this trans woman is telling this cis woman that she’s a woman and she’s there to stay and she’s fought for her womanhood which is something that cis woman won’t ever understand because she’s always had womanhood handed to her and she’s never been questioned on it.

maybe I'm reading your ask wrong but this is also a GREAT time to remind people following my blog that if you are a TERF, then UNFOLLOW ME NOW.

[buddiebeginz]

I don't see any posts calling you a 'horrible person', merely disagreeing with your point of view. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I personally find your opinions misogynistic. I get that Seb is fictional but so is Matty, and if I wrote things about him that you considered offensive, you'd be outraged. A baby isn't to blame for the actions of his parents and nor should a baby be ripped away from all he knows so that things can be 'made right'. What sort of message would that send?

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. What I do have problem with is seeing post after post that say things like anyone who dislikes Seb is a gross piece of shit who should delete their blog. People I know have even been told to kill themselves all because they don’t like the same fictional characters as everyone else. I’ve seen people recently delete their blogs and leave fandom because that is how others are making them feel, like they’re awful and they don’t belong. And I’m sorry but there is something seriously wrong with that.

No one has to agree with me on anything I say but I should still be allowed to feel however I do about the show. As far as I can tell the only real requirement to be in the Emmerdale fandom should be that we like Emmerdale. The only real requirement to be in the Robron fandom is that we ship Aaron and Rob together. Anything else doesn’t really matter. As long as I’m keeping my personal feelings on my blog and not harassing anyone else I should be allowed to like or dislike any part of the show I want.

We should all be able to post what we want on our blogs even the stuff I don’t agree with. Still I think there is a major problem with the posts that I see go around all the time lately that feel like a message to a portion of our fandom. I find those posts that say you have to like Seb or Rebecca or else rather like harassment. No one is being made to feel like they don’t belong in fandom if they don’t like Daz, or Bob, or whoever so what is it only like this with Rebecca and Seb?

Why do I only get messages like this one about Rebecca? I mean you’re telling me that how I feel about Rebecca is misogynistic? Why? Because I’ve clearly on many many occasions stated why I don’t like a female character and this as a result of her actions and not her gender. Am I not allowed to dislike a female character because she’s a woman?

Her gender only comes into play in my issues with the storyline because I feel that the way ED is using her (continually throwing her in the middle of a same sex m|m relationship) is homophobic. But that’s another topic for another post. But I don’t hate on her because of her gender. Or neglect to realize that Rob is bi and so a cheating storyline for him always had the possibility of involving a woman. My issues with Rebecca herself are because of her actions, mainly the fact that she slept with a man who was too drunk to consent and never took responsibility for it. If a guy did that to Rob I’d hate him too.

I feel like this fandom just likes to whittle it down to anyone who hates Rebecca is misogynistic or we’re just angry that she got in the way of our otp. You can’t just call some misogynistic because they dislike a female character that you like. Where are the facts to support this? Like am not allowed to have my own valid reasons for hating her? I’ve seen people say they hate Chrissie, Leyla, Debbie, Laurel, etc somehow it’s okay to hate other female characters and have valid reasons there but not when it comes to Rebecca. I don’t understand why this fandom makes it so Rebecca and Seb can do no wrong. They’re just fictional characters.

I’m not sure where you were going with the Matty and Rebecca comparison. Matty is trans so are you trying to say that if you wrote offensive stuff about him being trans that’s somehow the same thing as me saying I don’t like Rebecca because of her actions? Or how I find the storyline homophobic because ED keep throwing a woman in the middle of two men and making it seem like two men aren’t good enough to raise a kid on their own. How would transphobic remarks in anyway be comparable to that? I don’t get it.

I never said Seb was to blame for the actions of Rob and Rebecca. But I signed up for Robron not the Robecca/Seb show. The Robron scenes and fandom now have turned into being 99% about Seb and Rebecca these days and I’m over it. I was trying to warm to Seb in the beginning but you know what fandom is in large part of blame for why I just want him gone at this point. I’m tired of seeing posts and getting hate messages that tell me I’m not allowed to dislike a fictional baby. NO ONE has to like any character on any tv show they don’t want to.

The rest of you can get up on that cross and defend Rebecca and Seb till you’re blue in the face but it doesn’t change anything and it certainly doesn’t change how awful some of the behavior is that I’ve seen exhibited by this fandom. The way a portion of you are trying to make fandom full of only people who agree with all the same things you do and shut out the rest of us is seriously messed up and like I’ve said before I hope you never find yourself on the other end of that.

[vitos-ordination-song]

The way things get reified even when people realize they’re social constructs. Like that recent post that was talking about gendered hetero socialization of children, but then separated the kids into “straight children” and “gay children.” I don’t disagree w the idea that kids who more openly are gnc and express same-sex interest are harmed more by this socialization. The point of the post was to discuss why “trans women have male privilege” is bunk and having grown up w gnc amab gnc siblings, I know the brutality of what the socialization can mean to LGBT people in general. So obviously, there’s a point to the post and discussing how different kids are affected. However even saying “straight children” is acting like such a thing exists. If you recognize gender and sexuality as social constructs that are socialized into children, then a person is not straight until they conceive themselves to be. But that “heterosexuality” is taught and must be maintained.

I’m gonna compare myself to my big brother here. My big brother is a “cishet�� guy but he was gnc as a child and bullied for it. I watched him go from a happy adorable weird little kid to this bitter incel-like rage machine as a teen. There was obviously a lot going on there but his gendered socialization was a part of it. All the good sweet things about him as a child drained away, particularly any sign of femininity. I have these strong memories of the entire family making fun of pictures of him in a dress when he was a toddler—he was a favorite of the teenage girls who were friends of the family, and they dressed him up, and he had fun. That fun became a source of shame and he became a person so alienated from women that he hated them while obsessing over his desire to be in a romantic relationship.

For me, I mostly remembering hating being a girl as a child. I could only enjoy being a girl when I was reading stories about strong women or “not like other girls” type narratives. I have strong memories of my brothers stealing my barbie dolls as a toddler and constantly making fun of any girly interests. I eventually just wanted to be a boy. I remember telling a girl in third grade that and she said she felt the same way and it was a moment of pure validation.

Snippets stick out at me: my mom telling me men and women are so different mentally that they may as well be from different planets (referencing the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus as her example). I reacted with distress to this. I remember telling an older boy that I didn’t want to date boys when I was 11 or so and he said “what are you, a lesbian?” I didn’t know what the word meant. In second grade, I kissed a girl on the cheek because I was so grateful she befriended me and I told her I loved her. My mom said “it sounds like you’re really good friends with her.” I think there’s a part of me that could have wanted to be with men but it was destroyed because of how coerced I felt to be with a boy. I would get “crushes” on boys which would just be me telling everyone I had a crush and acting like I did. The one time a boy liked me back I immediately lost interest. I was so virulently homophobic by fifth grade that I would get mad at kids for making gay jokes bc being gay was so evil it shouldn’t be joked about. The first time I remember hearing about homosexuality, it was on TV. There was a news story about a California bill on. I must have been 2 or 3. I saw an old lady kiss another old lady on the cheek. I had never seen two people of the same gender together and I was immediately interested but my mom explained to me how bad it was.

I could go on but obviously I had a difficult gendered socialization. My brother did too, both of my brothers did. I mean, returning to my “cishet” brother, though he may never have had interest in men, he still was punished for his sexuality by our parents bc we live in a socially repressive society, especially so for us as evangelical Christians. However there’s distinctions: since I actively came to the conclusion that I was a lesbian around age 14 and told my brothers, I went through a hell that my hetero brother didn’t—you know since he and my other brother outed me. Lol. Like bc of homophobia I was relentlessly targeted and mistreated in my family and things never were the same for me w them. That’s one reason my het brother is living w them and I’m not. However... what if I had just decided I was a straight Christian girl. You could argue I would still be a lesbian. If you repress desires that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. But also, I think to some extent ALL straight people are doing that. Straightness itself is only a coherent category in relation to gayness. And straightness has to remain pure in order to maintain its boundaries. So all straight people are living in functional denial of homosexual potential.

For someone like my big brother, this really wasn’t an issue, I think bc he just doesn’t have homosexual inclinations. And he’s not particularly anti-gay now that he’s older. And for myself, I identify as a lesbian bc that’s how I feel and fits my experiences, but I also don’t try to maintain a rigid boundary of “I am not attracted to men.” I identified as bi for a couple years, but the only reason I did that is that I broke down under harassment and confusion. All my encounters w men have been bad or weird and I just feel more comfortable and myself only w women. But at the end of the day I feel like I’m a woman bc someone told me I was and my sexuality has been shaped by years of shitty traumatic experiences. So lesbianism is about claiming the right to be how I want, but not “who I am”—I don’t have a breakdown when I think a guy is hot and worry I’m “faking” anymore.

[lesbian-ed]

Is it wrong to feel sad over my friend calling herself a nb lesbian? We share a lot of values, but on the gender & sexuality topics we disagree. To me biological sex is the what sexual attraction is based on. I couldn't date anyone who was born male, no matter how they identified/appeared. My friend on the other hand believes she could. She considers herself nb because (quote) sometimes she feels like a straight man. To me that just sounds lesbophobic. I'm scared to say anything to her. I'm sad.

Hey there...

This isn’t wrong. You’re feeling sad because someone you love and respect has been showing clear disrespect towards you and towards lesbians in general. It makes a lot of sense, actually. 

It’s also very sad seeing someone you care about starting renouncing their whole person because “she feels like a straight man”. It’s pretty clear that comes out of the old stereotype that all homosexual people must have opposite sex brains, since they are attracted to their own sex. It’s an archaic, homophobic belief that has been around for quite some time, the genderists have just rebranded it under “trans activism”.

We strongly agree with you, that sexuality is about biological sex, not “gender identity” (whatever that may mean for any particular individual, these days you never know).

If she says she could be attracted to both males and females alike, it sounds to me like she could be bisexual, and not a lesbian at all. However, in the genderist/trans activist/qu**r community, there has been an indoctrination of the mantra “transwomen are women”, aka “men are the sex they choose to be”. This is obviously untrue, but if everyone around your friend has been saying that and that people who disagree are undoubtedly “transphobic bigots”, so it makes sense she would repeat the lies herself, and believe the lies herself.

I don’t think everyone who repeats this bullshit actually would act on what they speak, but of course it upsets you to hear it, considering you are an acutal lesbian yourself, and physically could never be attracted to a male.

These lies are incredibly lesbophobic in particular, considering the trans movement has been targeting lesbians in particular as “evil TERFs”, as if we are the ones who affect them, simply by existing as female homosexuals.

Your sexuality does not exist to validate men’s gender delusions.

You should not change yourself to fit what men want you to think, no woman should, but especially not lesbian women, who have nothing to do with men.

I understand your sorrow, and perhaps you even feel a little grief over this friendship, which is obviously rapidly deteriorating under the weight of these gender doctrines. 

I’m sorry, I have also recently lost an old friend of mine to this gender bullshit, and it was sad and frustrating hearing her talk about herself as “both a man and a woman”, probably something she started believing out of homophobia, and the belief that only men can be attracted to women, and only women can be attracted to men, so of course she must be some sort of “man/woman” being, since she is bisexual. 

It’s sad to see people we love and care about allowing homophobia or internalized homophobia seep into their very beings, to such an extent they actually start to believe that their whole self is defined by their sexuality, and not the other way around. 

I hope you’ll find new friends, who can truly respect your sexuality, who can truly respect you. I could never find a way to get through to my friend, and I don’t believe you will either. These gender delusions are a cult-like belief, and anyone who questions it is immediately seen as “The Enemy” or “TERFs”.

Unfortunately I don’t think there is any hope, seeing as you already tried to explain why you believe sexuality is based on biological sex, and not on their presentation of gender.  

I hope you’ll be okay with time, and I’m so sorry for your loss of a dear friend to such a homophobic ideology.

Take care!

/Mod A

[theklancecollection]

Hi do you know of any fics where either Keith or Lance are trans boys?

Hey there Anon!

These fics are in the collection, and ones that I have read myself:

Trans!Lance:

In English, Please - Anonymous

Word Count: 4, 943

Summary: Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

Trans!Keith:

We’re Still Good - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 1, 913

Summary: He can feel Lance’s heartbeat, warm through the leather of his gloves.

It’s very quiet, for once Lance has nothing to say.

Below the cut are 41 fics that have been categorized into trans!keith, trans!lance, and trans!keith & trans!lance. Just so you know I haven’t read them myself, so read them at your own discretion:

Trans!Keith:

This love won't ever be convenient - Lynn1998

Word Count: 78, 078

Summary: *Complicated by Avril Lavigne plays in the distance*

I'll Never Be Her - Zirijava

Word Count: 4, 202

Summary: Kat’s life is amazing. She has wonderful friends, an equally wonderful, but albeit weird, boyfriend Lance and a scholarship to the college of her dreams! But what would Lance say when Kat tells him that his girlfriend is a trans boy?

Or, Kat realizes she’s maybe a boy and suddenly everything he built up comes crashing down. Will his boyfriend be okay with having a boyfriend? Kat doesn’t know yet.

Hell Week - juniperallura

Word Count: 540

Summary: For prompt: "Can you write a story about Trans Boy Keith on his period? And he has cramps but his bf(s) is helping him with it and it's adorable? It doesn't matter who the bf(s) is."

Keith gets cranky on his period, but Lance doesn't care

Girl In Drag - Zirijava

Word Count: 2, 730

Summary: ”You just want to get attention, why else would you start walking around like that?”

I sighed. ”All I ever wanted was to be myself.”

She held up her hands. ”I get that, I do. But if you don’t want the world to know, then why make it so flashy? When people look at you, they don’t see a boy. They see a girl in drag. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and be who you’re supposed to be.”

You're you, that's what matters. - ghostlyghouls

Word Count: 1, 874

Summary:Lance hears Keith crying in his room late at night and decides to find out why.

Valid - CasanovaStrider 

Word Count: 1, 046

Summary: Keith is a boy. He is. Sometimes he just had a hard time believing it himself. Lance is there to help. 

Rattling the Frames, (Getting Inside My Brain) - truflais

Word Count: 748

Summary: But Keith wasnt taking a chance this time. He wasnt about to ruin his only binder on a stupid whim.

No matter how many times he passed, he could still hear the voice in the back of his head.

You're not a real boy.

You're a girl.

You. Are. A. Girl.

what's better than this just guys being dudes - iamnotalizard

Word Count: 2, 205

Summary: in which keith wants to come out to lance, and does so when he feels safe and happy and not pressured 

Burning Out - lumberjackwiki

Word Count: 6, 226

Summary:Keith could barely function as a human before, but now? He wasn't even human so why should he try?

Surprise, I'm a nice guy! - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 363

Summary: 5 times Lance misgendered Keith + 1 time he didn't

aka5 times Lance had no idea Keith was trans + 1 time Keith actually told him

Burned but not buried - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)

Word Count: 1, 495

Summary: So he stands in the men’s section with his head low, trying not to draw attention to himself.

Keith hates shopping.

teeth and all - viscrael

Word Count: 2, 668

Summary: “Do you want to kiss someone?”

Keith almost drops his Bayard.

You're Not Supposed To Care - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 2, 484

Summary: At the time, Keith had thought it was a stellar idea. Make out with the guy you like, no one suspects a thing. 

Keith's Worst Enemy - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 897

Summary: Keith thinks he shouldn't bother Lance with his monthly subscription to The Blood Flow™. Shiro disagrees.

this oneshot revolves around menstruation! there's no description of blood, but if the subject triggers you for any reason, don't read!

I'm coming out of my cage - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 852

Summary: How Keith came out as a trans boy and then as a gay boy. 

Periods Are a Bitch - hogwartsschoolofanime

Word Count: 951

Summary: Keith would take hours of intense fighting over this. Literally, nothing can be worse than the fucking pain in his stomach. At least Lance is there to give him soup and read Harry Potter.

In which Keith has period cramps and Lance is the best boyfriend ever.

Glass Lion Menagerie - Anonymous

Word Count: 13, 865

Summary: Keith was fragile. Keith did not like to feel fragile. 

A Quarter Past Midnight - Gigapoodle

Word Count: 14, 266

Summary: When Keith found himself standing in front of a hulking blue metal lion, of all things, surrounded by a hexagonal shield like it was straight out of a straight-to-DVD sci-fi movie, he simply guffawed. If this was what the higher beings were trying to guide his hand towards, they could shove that hand up their asses.

Bitter Coffees Shouldn't Sweeten the Heart - Lisboa

Word Count: 4, 569

Summary: For Klance Secret Santa 2016 (the original prompt will be added to the notes along with the name of the amazing person who gave me this prompt on December 25th)

And that’s how he found himself groaning against his pillow as it rained cats and dogs outside, his brain running miles an hour as his heart twitched painfully on his chest. He fell for him, and he fell hard. It should not have happened like this, not when Lance – flirty little Lance who was clearly into girls and not into Keith – meant so much to him. Romance would ruin what they had, and Keith would blame himself forever if that happened.

Ten, Eight, Seven - lordbatty

Word Count: 3, 217

Summary: Ten years is a long time to try and return to a normal state of living. To Keith and Lance, being able to settle down with a family makes it easier. 

I think I'm In Lesbians With You - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 2, 028

Summary: He stops laughing. “Wait what?”

“I’ve never seen Scott Pilgrim before?”

“Holy shit you have got to be kidding me. What, did you grow up in a shack?”

Lance’s face pales as Keith deadpans a “Yes.”

Pick me up, Hold me Down - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)

Word Count: 3, 436

Summary: “Keith, please just- we can talk this out, just get out of the water.”

Stop. Breathe.

Where are you?

Take Time to Breathe - orphan_account

Word Count: 7, 645

Summary: Keith's been part of team voltron for a while now, and theoretically, they should all know each other's secrets. But Keith is still in the closet to all but Shiro, and his dysphoria is eating him alive. When he cracks during a mind-meld exercise, Lance makes it his personal mission to reach out to the red paladin. 

If - WildWolf25

Word Count: 15, 857

Summary: If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, (“If” by Rudyard Kipling)

(How Keith and Lance met and what their lives were like before Twelve Nights)

But The Foundation Is Crumbling - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 4,145

Summary: It’s the safest space they can be in together, piled in a car, eating pizza and backwash soda. No one to give them rules, no one to make fun of but themselves, no one to try and tell them all the things wrong with them. 

Tick Tock - Ididntsignupforthisshit (Oliver_Ravenwood)

Word Count: 117, 477

Summary: Keith knew that his luck probably had little to do with Paula the Bobble Head. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with the constantly ticking timer creeping up on his left thumb. A Soul Counter, as most called it. It was a natural phenomenon occurring in humans. In each person intended there was an ever present timer, constantly ticking down until the time where they would find their soulmate. When the timer would reach zero, a second tattoo-like marking would appear on the person’s skin – their Soul Mark. This would appear on the person’s soulmate in much the same place. Each pair’s Soul Mark was unique to just the two of them.

OR: The one where Keith was working and he found his soulmate - who just happened to be his favorite actor, Lance MotherF**king Vasquez.

What Could've Been - FaeOfStars

Word Count: 12, 927

Summary: "I hesitated to type, realizing what his last reply meant. He... liked me? I could feel my face heat up a bit more and I peered through my dark bangs to avoid letting him see the redness of my cheeks. His expression still held a hint of anxiousness, but he now wore a small smile on his face as he stared at me, waiting for me to respond. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, unknowing of what to press. Before my fingers could touch a single key, I saw letters begin to appear on the document. Lance was typing again.

'im sorry I shouldnt have said that'

Finally, my fingers moved.

'No, no. It's fine! I just... I don't know. I didn't expect that.'"

--

Keith was in love with Lance. Lance liked him back. It should have been simple from there, but unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way it should.

Over My Dead Body! - VinVictory

Word Count: 38, 038

Summary: "Hey, Keith? Are you done yet?" Lance asks from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, I'm done changing."

Out of curiosity, Keith looks over his shoulder of how Lance will enter his room. He eyes the door.

"Aaaaannnddd, you're in your boxers." Lance says.

Silence.

Sonovabish went through the door!

*Where Lance is a ghost and Keith is the only one who can hear him! :0Join Keith as he discovers the revelations and the truth behind Lance's death.

Banksy-Ass Wannabe - n00dl3Gal

Word Count: 3, 287

Summary: Lance has done many, MANY stupid things in his 19 years.

But ruining someone else's spray might be the stupidest.

ESPECIALLY if that person is his biggest rival.

(The Graffiti/Street Artist AU that no one asked for, with hints of College AND Coffee Shop AUs, because I'm a giver.)

Trans!Lance

Binder Blues - fairdeath

Word Count: 1, 273

Summary: Lance is tired. Just... tired. Five extra steps to every mission that the others don't follow – bind, cry because it fucking hurts over the blue-black bruises of the last fight, get hit a few times more than necessary, spend 20 minutes catching your breath, ignore the bruises the binder pushes at until the next fight. 

keith's jacket - eyeball

Word Count: 3, 307

Summary: Keith's search for his stolen jacket is set aside when more pressing matters arise. The sobs coming from behind Lance's closed door are a bit more than worrying, so Keith lets himself in. He tries to provide all the support he can, but he can only do so much for the sniveling lump of a boy with tear-filled eyes and a refusal to explain himself. 

throwing shadows - ilgaksu

Word Count: 3, 334

Summary: “Dude,” Lance says, “It’s not my fault he does this!”

“Dude,” Hunk says, and leaves it at that.

Secrets - potato_fan_girl

Word Count: 3, 567

Summary: Only half the team knew.

Contrary to their belief, Lance was actually an expert secret keeper. With a large family like his, he had to know when to keep his mouth shut. So, despite the loud, obnoxious, open persona he displayed for the others, he could also be sneaky.

So, keeping a secret on an unbelievably large castle ship with only six other people on it was easy.

Or at least, it should've been.

(AKA Lance is trans, and because of a really terrible alien, the team finds out.)

Warm Hands - darkinsanity13

Word Count: 4, 279

Summary: Something's rather literally cramping Lance's style. Keith lends him a hand or two. 

Carpe Diems and Chrysanthemums - Gigapoodle

Word Count: 14, 694

Summary: Lance falls unimaginably hard for the biker boy with a black mop of hair and terrible Spanish skills. After years of rivalry, bitter acquaintanceship, and eventual friendship, the realization slaps Lance hard, hard enough to settle into his lungs and sap his life away. It's when he coughs up a petal that Lance realizes just how far gone he is.

Lance McClain decides he is going to die.

A Modern Hanahaki Disease AU.

Trans!Lance and Trans!Keith:

Shades of Purple - candyalpacas

Word Count: 2, 775

Summary: When Lance comes out to the team, he finds out something about Keith he never expected. 

I Refuse to Believe in the Existence of a Universe Where I Don't Love You - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 143

Summary: cute trans boyfriends talk about feelings

Just Hear Those Sleigh Bells Ringing - blumen

Word Count: 1, 752

Summary: “I spent six hours on it and pricked myself at least ten times.”

Keith felt his heart leap to his throat. It was a hideous jumper no doubt but Lance looked so proud that Keith could almost forget-Christ, was that a LED light on the nose? Keith felt like apologizing to both Rudolph and the sanctity of the Christmas spirit.

It's Your Typical, Hardcore Casual Sex - lordbatty

Word Count: 4, 395

Summary: Lance is good. Too good. Too right. Keith is too hurt to admit anything, even to himself. And it was terrifying. 

[schraubd]

I'm Sick of Smug-Takes on Berkeley Offering "Counseling"

Former Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro is coming to campus this week. Shapiro will be followed this month by Ann Coulter, Steve Bannon, and Milo Yiannopoulos, as part of a Berkeley "free speech week". In a long email outlining the various campus policies that would be in place to facilitate all these speeches (and as I've consistently argued, having been invited by authorized community members they do have a right to speak free of censorship or material disruption, though of course not from non-intrusive protest or criticism), Executive Vice Chancellor Paul Alivisatos mentioned that, among other things, counseling services were available for any students who felt "threatened or harassed simply because of who they are or for what they believe." And the internet went wild. I don't need to collect links -- here's an example, but they're not hard to find. Across the entire political spectrum of the mainstream media -- you know, center-left to hard-right -- there was near-uniform glee in dumping on coddling Berkeley administrators and infantile Berkeley students who need counseling just because they're hearing "ideas they disagree with." I cannot tell you how sick I am of hearing this. It's lazy, it's a cheap shot, it's intellectually incoherent, and above all it's mean-spirited. Berkeley isn't wrong here. And it's detractors are showing more about what's missing in their character than the most stereotypical Golden Bear hipster. For starters, Berkeley is a big place. It's total enrollment is over 40,000 students. These young people come from a range of backgrounds, and at any given time across that 40,000 there will be persons who are struggling, or experiencing crises, or feeling threatened, or any other permutation of personal circumstance and emotional troubles you can imagine. I've already written recently about how all of us -- self-satisfied declarations notwithstanding -- intuitively understand how certain speech can truly wound deeply, in a manner which we can all empathize with. That doesn't mean we ban it (and offering counseling doesn't "ban" anything), but it does mean that there's a genuine phenomena that we can and should attempt to address So let's be empathic. Let's imagine, amongst Berkeley's 40,000 students, that there is a student who is struggling. Maybe he's away from home for the first time and having difficulty adjusting. Maybe she feels in over her head in classes, finding that work that got her an A in high school is barely scraping a C at Berkeley. And then let's add more to it -- maybe he's just found out that he's now at imminent risk of deportation from the only country he's ever truly known. Maybe she's found out that, though she proudly served her country and is a veteran of the American armed forces, the President of the United States publicly declared her to be a burden on the US military who should never have been allowed to wear the uniform. Now let's remember who Ben Shapiro is.

Ben Shapiro thinks that trans individuals suffer from a "mental illness" and gratuitously misgenders them for the primary purpose of causing offense. He refers to DACA as President Obama's "executive amnesty". Pretty much the only reason his isn't an avowed member of the alt-right is that they happen to hate him too. He's not an intellectual. He's not one the great thinkers of the right. His oeuvre, his raison d'etre, is to be a hurtful provocateur. That's what he brings to the table.

And let's be clear: this, the above, was why Ben Shapiro was invited to Berkeley. It wasn't because he offered "a different view." And it certainly wasn't because of the intellectual candlepower he has on offer. The people who invited Ben Shapiro to UC-Berkeley did so because of, not in spite of, the hurt he will dish out to already-vulnerable members of the community. The students I outlined above -- already struggling, buffeted by political dynamics which very much are designed to dehumanize them -- now have to reckon with the reality that a non-negligible chunk of their colleagues are glad they're feeling that way. They actively want to accelerate the process. They'll go out of their way to invite speakers to reiterate and emphasize the point.

Honestly, I don't blame them if they could use a venue to talk out their feelings a bit. It strikes me as spectacularly uncharitable, a colossal failure of basic empathy, to think otherwise. Then again, what is our polity going through now but a colossal failure of basic empathy?

After the election, I made a similar comment (which I cannot find) when people again made fun of college kids who expressed deep hurt and fear upon the election of Donald Trump. This, too, was attributed to fragile millennial snowflakes who don't know how to tolerate hardship. And I remarked that the man now faced with being expelled from the country is not scared because he's frail, and the woman who was the victim of a sexual assault is not despondent because she's weak-willed. We've seemingly moved past "don't punch people who think you're subhuman" (okay) to "don't be sad that people think you're subhuman" (really?). Some are arguing that the real problem with offering counseling is that it doesn't teach the kids "resilience". First of all, I wonder what they think goes on in counseling sessions -- my strong suspicion is that they are precisely about fostering resiliency so that students are better able to cope with such annoying trivialities like "I may be torn from the only home I've ever known at any moment and a sizeable portion of what I thought was my community will cheer as they drag me off." The objection here isn't so much to lack of resilience as to the university having the temerity to try and teach it -- like objecting to wilderness training because shouldn't real men already know how to survive outdoors? Second, it is hard not to hear in this objection a deep resentment at the fact that today, even now, some people still do proactively care about the feelings of others. The argument seems to be that "fifty years ago if someone felt marginalized on a college campus nobody gave a shit. Today, some people -- including a few holding administrative positions -- do care, and for some reason that's a step backwards for society." One can hear more than a little of the typical mockery associated with using therapy of any sort -- though I admit I hadn't heard it manifest this overtly in some time -- which suggests that only persons of pathologically fragile mental composition could ever need something as lily-livered as counseling. Again, I find this argument hard to relate to, seeing as its genealogy is so thoroughly bound up in nothing more complicated than pure cruelty. Shorn of the feelings of superiority it generates, can anyone actually defend this? Others complain that students shouldn't be going to therapy in response to such speech, they should be responding in other ways -- debate, protest, donations, activism, any thing else. Of all the objections, this is the one that is the most difficult to credit. Does anyone think that the only way Berkeley students will respond to Ben Shapiro's speech is by going to counseling sessions? That Friday morning, all 40,000 of us will march into whatever center houses our mental health professionals and demand to be soothed? Of course not. Of course there will be debate, and protest, and donations, and activism. And you can bet that however such actions manifest, people will still find a way to denounce the entire response tout court -- unjustified actions like violence, yes, but also silent protest, but also waving signs, but also pure condemnatory speech (especially if that speech dares use the dreaded -ism or -phobic suffixes). Finally, let's dispense with the notion that this is all being triggered by students who can't tolerate "ideas they disagree with." For starters, it's notable that while Alivisatos' email does not in fact refer to any speakers in particular, everybody simultaneously assumed they were talking about Ben Shapiro while at the same time being aghast at how anyone could possibly need counseling after hearing Ben Shapiro. Me thinks they protest to much. But more to the point: Berkeley regularly hosts speakers who will present ideas many on campus will disagree with. This week, David Hirsh is giving a talk on "Contemporary Left Antisemitism" -- surely, many on campus would resist his conclusions. Later this term, National Review editor Reihan Salam will be speaking on immigration policy -- with no known objections or protests planned. So the problem isn't ideas people disagree with. The problem is Ben Shapiro, and Ann Coulter, and Milo Yiannopoulos. One doesn't invite them to campus because they're presenting important ideas which need to be reckoned with. There are plenty of conservatives who fit the bill, and when those conservatives show up they are typically met with little fanfare. But if you're inviting this contingent, you're doing it because you like hurting people. That's their comparative advantage, that's the thing they can offer over and above all of their competitors. It neither bothers me, nor surprises me, nor offends me, that this offends certain students. If some portion of those students are in an emotional place right now where they feel like they need counseling, I encourage them to get it. If others want to protest the speech, I support their right to do so within the parameters of the law. If still others want to attend the speech, or subject Shapiro to harsh questioning, or pen scathing op-eds in the Daily Cal, I applaud them all for it. And each of these options got pride of place in Alivistos' email. All of these are valid responses. None of them are worthy of scorn, none of them signal any deficiency in our student body. What is far more worrisome is the reaction of the so-called "adults" in the media, who have grown so fond of bashing kids-these-days that they've seemingly forgotten the need to reason, much less to empathize. via The Debate Link http://ift.tt/2xjwwVY

[confused-pie]

An Essay on Abortion (1356 words)

So, with the recent pro-life Zootopia meme going around, arguments about abortion have been resurfaced on my feed, and I thought I’d share my thoughts. Before continuing, I would like to say that this topic is extremely upsetting to me. This morning, I got so upset talking to myself about it (I make up conversations like I’m on a talkshow as a form of self-therapy, I know it’s weird) that I genuinely felt ill and almost threw up when I tried to eat. I’m still shaking. With that said, please don’t bring this up with me unless you’re able to have a civilized discussion and an open mind.

When the concept of abortion was first introduced to me, I was horrified and appalled that anyone could consider such a thing. My thoughtless bias against women who chose to have abortions came from the mind of a very outspoken, thoughtless child and I’m glad to say I’ve moved on from this narrow-minded opinion. I understand now that the topic is layered, complicated, and otherwise nuanced. A desire for abortion can come from many different experiences, whether it’s a working woman who doesn’t have time for a baby, or a rape victim who feels the thing growing inside them is only a reminder of the atrocity of what happened to them. Both desires for freedom are legitimate, as well as medical issues regarding the need for abortion in some women. I understand a woman wanting her life to stay free, unburdened by an unwanted baby, and the victim both unready for the responsibility of parenthood and desirous of being rid of the forced pregnancy. I am not blaming these women and young girls for wanting an abortion. I want them to be healthy and happy, as I do (almost) everyone. The problem is, the fetus in question is overlooked from this viewpoint. I’ve talked to people on Reddit about their views of abortion, and the responses I got were angry and defensive, but the underlying question that we actually disagreed on was, what is the fetus. Is it a simple clump of cells inside a woman that is privileged to take up residence inside its mother, or is it a baby that has a right to live? We all have seen the scans of prenatal babies. We know what they look like; we know that they basically begin to feel pain after 20 weeks (although this is debated); we know their hearts begin to beat about 22 days after conception. What do these facts mean? This is the much debated topic of pro-life and pro-choice protestors.

The two sides are almost exclusive to the two political parties, and I feel similarly about the abortion topic as I do the political one. I don’t like either. Pro-lifers tend to ignore the pregnant woman, and pro-choicers ignore and delegitimize the baby. This everlasting problem is a great example of humanity and how irreproachably stubborn and cruel it can be. BOTH lives matter. My belief is simple as that. In my opinion, anyone who says the baby isn’t legitimate and anyone who says the mother isn’t legitimate are both wrong. As a woman myself, I would never consider abortion, or even sex, safe or unsafe. I recognize this is a sign of my the parenting I’ve received.

Many girls my age have either had sex already, or are seeking to, and this is a problem. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have sex, it’s the concept that you need sex that’s wrong. Seeking validation from men through romance and sex is far from uncommon, and I see it in many of my friends. I’ve discussed this topic with my dad at length, and the most important thing he ever told me was that no matter what happened, what choices I made or what mistakes, no matter anything, he would always be there for me, and he would never stop loving me. I received the same message from my mother. The reason why many girls seek validation elsewhere, is because they never received that validation and unconditional love from their parents. This is not meant to ignore the struggles of trans-men in any way, I am simply completely unequipped to speak on that topic. If you have any opinions or insights you’d like to share, I’d be glad to hear from you. How people define themselves is also an important topic, and completely relevant to the topic of abortion.

In the psychology textbook, Psychology, by Don and Sandra Hockenbury (1997©), self-definition begins in adolescence. As an example, a fourteen year old begins to decide what they believe about themselves, their aspirations, their priorities, and other intellectual properties like these (Hockenbury, p 407). I know many people that lost their virginity around this point in their lives, as well. In 1997, approximately 70% of women, and 80% of men had lost their virginity by 19 (Hockenbury, p 453). How much of this was safe sex, how many STDs were transferred, and how many reported abortions there were is not listed, but they are a huge factor in this respect. These levels of sexual activity are consequential of insecurity in both young men, women, and nonbinary. Essentially, the root cause of many unwanted pregnancies are due to the attempts of young people finding themselves, their sexuality, and their validation.

Now, to move to how to deal with unwanted pregnancies, we come to the topic of Planned Parenthood. What I found about many pro-choicers, is their angelification of this company. The claim is that only 3% of services they provide are abortions, but that is hotly contested. There are also the claims that P.P. has illegally sold fetal tissue, but I will not be going into that debate in this essay. Beyond that, the founder of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, was an irredeemably terrible person. You only need a quick google search to find the racism and other forms of amoral beliefs that she openly professed. But of course, we cannot take the actions of the founder to the actual company as it stands, many years later. After all, it’s not the only one founded on amoral and unjust beliefs and principals (cough America cough the entire world cough). These testimonies are about abortion, pulled from the website silentnomoreawareness.org where you can find many more testimonies ranging from emotional and physical hurt to different kinds of abortions, both inside and out of Planned Parenthood.

Years after the abortion, I started having abnormal pap smears and going months without periods.  Eventually they had to remove my uterus because I was having so many problems and was told I was badly scarred from the abortion.  The truth is, I was scarred physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

…I took part in thousands of abortions. I told women that their baby was a clump of tissue. I never asked them if they wanted any other choice, if they wanted to be a parent, if they wanted to put their baby up for adoption. We took their money. We lied to them. We put them on a table and gave them an abortion without ever telling them the truth about the procedure. We never told them about the pain…They are not blobs of cells, they are human beings, and their mothers are suffering. 

In 1973 I had an abortion…Later, I married well, had a lovely home, and was blessed with 3 beautiful, healthy children.  However, on the inside, I was miserable. I began suffering from severe depression, anorexia, sexual frigidity and lack of any emotional intimacy with my husband and a lack of emotional bonding with my children. I felt like such a failure as a mother already that I just went through the motions and did what I thought was best for them.  

I believe the last testimony shows why many women who have had abortions react with such hostility to my advances. To be perfectly clear, I am not judging you if you have had an abortion, if you have assisted anyone, or if you support abortion. I don’t think either side are malicious in their beliefs,  We’re all doing our best to make the world what we believe is the best place for everyone to live.

[thedeadflag]

So, I'm reading this fic, a HP AU of The 100, and I'm not that far into it, but so far it's been very good, and then there's a fight between Raven, a muggle born, and Fox, a pure blood, because Raven keeps ranting about the purebloods awfulness, which I totally agree with her, in a general way, as if every pureblood is like that and it hurts Fox, because she is a pureblood and she's not like that, and Raven knows that she isn't, but she still talks in general terms about purebloods and (1/?)

like, I understand and agree with what she means, but, being myself a white man who sees a lot of generalization on tumblr about things white men do, I understand how it can hurt your feelings to be lumped together with people you disagree with, and so I don’t think Fox is wrong on this matter, but then Raven gets angry, because it’s not like Fox suffers any restrictions or reproaches from society, while Raven, because she is muggleborn has to deal with a lot of shit from purebloods and (2/?)

and Raven says a lot of hurtful, mean things, saying that purebloods are a bunch o inbreds and that, basically, Fox should just suck it up, because there are people, the muggleborns, that are persecuted just because they weren’t bred, and like, I understand Raven, I do, some purebloods can be downright disgusting, but like, saying this thing to your friend just because she is a pureblood just, to me, feels a little too much like being discriminated for being muggleborn, and I guess (¾)

what I’m asking is, what do you think on this matter, seeing that it can be translated to current issues, issues of color, religion, sexuality, gender. (4/4)

Okay, so this is going to be long, because there’s some important lessons here on interacting with marginalized people.

Muggle-born folks are, within the context of the magical world in the Harry Potter Universe, an oppressed group. That’s just facts. There’s purebloods, halfbloods, and then muggle-born. Only thing deemed worse in some ways is a Squib, due to being from magical parents but lacking magical prowess, who are considered traitors to their blood, the purity of their people. Squibs put the ‘natural superiority’ of their people (or, at least, the argument of superiority) at risk by not being magical, and thus not carrying their people’s power that’s used to prop up their standing in society as superior to halfbloods and especially muggle-born folks

This sets up a pretty easy race/ethnicity allegory (that is also inherently infused with classism) from what I’ve seen, heard, and read in the books (I made it partway through the books, watched all the films, have a large number of HP fanatic friends).

Which means Raven can talk shit about purebloods all she wants if she’s muggle-born in that story. Maybe it might be a little mean of her sometimes depending on her word choice if she’s directing it at Fox, but honestly, marginalized people need to be able to vent their hurt and anger and frustration in order to be healthy. It’s a legitimate need that’s backed up by decades of science. Our friends and allies need to understand this and not take it personally.

Like, even remarks like “They’re all inbred!”, which might seem to be an insult against purebloods, would really just be a commentary on how purebloods aggressively discriminate and wield their power to the point where even in their relationships, only other purebloods are good enough, pure enough, valuable enough, worthy enough to be their partners (or sometimes even just their friends). It’s letting out anger that you and your people are so thoroughly deemed worthless and lesser-than. it’s turning the discrimination she faces into an attack to try and reclaim the violence done to her people. 

Marginalized groups tend to discuss their oppression at a social level, not an individual level, since discussing things like racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. at an individual level basically never accomplishes anything except maybe, at best, a good venting session about a single person who upset them. These are social processes. They attack whole groups of people, not individuals, and by default, conversations and material about them will be on a social level unless explicitly noted otherwise.

When someone says, for instance (and to make this simple and easy for me to explain from my pov), that all cis people are transphobic, we’re saying intent does not matter, because society weaponizes cis people against trans people whether you’re aware of it or not, and usually promotes you being unaware of it (on top of all the largely invisible privileges that status offers). It doesn’t matter if someone wanted to hurt us, it just matters that we were hurt. Everyone’s raised in a thoroughly transphobic society, one cis people benefit from by being cis, and one where any inactivity or indifference or neutral stance on transphobia is, in effect, helping the reproduction of that oppression, because we do not live in a neutral society…we live in a society that actively oppresses large amounts of people in varying ways, and so any decision not to fight that oppression, not to attack the benefits cis folks gain from that oppression, is essentially a decision to permit that oppression. The marginalized, after all, are not responsible for overcoming their oppression…that’s the oppressing class’ responsibility, to work with the marginalized to dismantle those structures.

Society conditions us with thoughts and beliefs about marginalized peoples and buries them in our ‘common sense’ to be used via gut reactions, and unchallenged ‘truths’. Everyone, everyone needs to put in the work to unlearn these. It’s more visible for marginalized folks, since our oppressions tend to stand out when they’re directed at us, but it’s more important for those in power to put in the work to unlearn. That can be hard if they might not actually see themselves reproducing harm, or clearly recognize what is or isn’t harmful.

This is much larger than individual people. None of this is solely a single individual’s responsibility, but it is the responsibility of categories of people. Like, if you’re white, it’s your responsibility to be active in unlearning racism, and seeking out poc voices to manage that. Same deal for for privileged folks in relation to marginalized folks across just about any axis. If you’re not putting in the work, you’re effectively helping retain the status quo, and it’s important to be mindful of that. It’s important that folks do what they can, not just what they’re comfortable with, not just some notion of ‘if I treat everyone equally, I’m fine’ because that’s a non-solution, and it’s rarely that folks will end up treating everyone equally anyways, since they won’t have assessed the biases and stigmas guiding their common sense and instincts and gut reactions.

Cis folks can be visibly nice and still contribute to our oppression and harm us in ways they may or may not be unaware of. Malicious intent is not required for something to be transphobic, but even if it WAS, it’s very easy to attribute malicious intent to society as a whole, given it’s been operating a genocide against trans people for ages.

Far too often, when we vent about transphobia to our friends and family, we eventually experience hostility and aggression from them, and they experience burnout. Because I know my friends wouldn’t like me complaining a dozen plus times a day about varying instances of transphobia I face. Maybe a small handful every few days, but eventually I get the “Jeez, stop being so negative/sensitive/etc.” or the “well, I’m not like that!” remarks. Or, if I’m venting to coworkers, i could get complaints to my manager. Or my family members would stop picking up the phone when I call them, and/or stop answering when i text them. I, as well as well over a hundred trans folks I’ve known personally, have experienced being cut off from our social supports (whether temporarily or permanently) for trying to get support over the transphobia we face. Generally, people don’t want to hear about it, not on blast, not all the time, not every day for months and months, even though that’s our reality, and we need help managing that reality. Folks don’t want to hear it. And while it’s nice to feel validated by our local, in-person trans friends, sometimes that negativity can be draining on our relations with them. This is why having multiple outlets is good, and why we need good allies who know not to take it personally.

This is because stress is far more dangerous when it’s routine and relentless…major individual stress events like a death in the family can be difficult but there’s usually some form of supports in place to help manage that. But dealing with a dozen instances of minor to moderate stressors daily, ones that generally will not cease? That tends to have a more significantly negative impact on a person’s mental and physical health, especially since there’s rarely any support resources in place to help people deal with those. And those stressors, combined with social stigmas, and high rates of poverty, and high rates of unemployment and homelessness, and high rates of medical discrimination, tends to lead to us attempting suicide. These are the main reasons why 43+% of trans people have attempted suicide at least once (and that’s honestly a very conservative number). Not being permitted to manage our stress and pain without consequence is a huge reason for that. We’re attacked for expressing our pain, constantly, and that hurts.

Because when trans people vent “I fucking hate cis people!” they’re not thinking of each and every individual cis person alive, so it would be wrong to take such a statement personally. They’re likely speaking of the cis people that have harmed them recently, and how they wield transphobia against them. Because let me tell you, as a trans woman who has worked retail in numerous public positions, eventually, you just start to forget their faces. Too exhausting to be angry at each of them, and it’s much easier to just get upset at society for weaponizing cis folks against us, and use ‘cis people’ as shorthand, a form of metonymy, which is commonly used all across society in similar ways. And since the category of cis people is used to wield transphobia against us (remember transphobia exists at the social level first and foremost), it is logical for us to use metonymy. Easier than listing out the gritty details of each instance, each person involved, each form of transphobia, etc. When I’d come home from work and close the door, and loudly vent “UGH! FUCKING CIS PEOPLE I SWEAR TO GOD” my roommate would (if he was home) toss me a gummy worm and nod sagely, asking if the cis were at it again. 

He, a cis dude, knew I wasn’t raging about him. He was well aware I was raging at all the cis people who wielded transphobia against me while I was away. Much in the way that when a friend of mine would slump down beside me after a failed date and complain about how “men are jerks”, I’d understand that she was not, in fact, attacking my best friend, who is a man, and a very good person. She was using hyperbole as a form of emotional expression. Just like someone who says “I hate litterers” does not in fact hate all people in the world who have littered, they are likely upset that littering is such a common, destructive thing that folks don’t really care much about. Hyperbole. Used all the time.

It’s healthy for us to do this. It’s important we have the ability to do this unrestricted, and without being attacked for it. it’s important that our allies jump through trans 101 hoops and recognize that when we vent like this, it’s not a personal attack.

It’s not necessarily actual hatred against cis people. Usually just anger, and we’re allowed to be angry when cis people harm us on the daily and rarely care to change what they’re doing or how they think of us. We’re allowed to express that anger, and we shouldn’t be attacked for it. Allies wouldn’t attack us for it, they’d understand it.

Recognize that this is bigger than your feelings, it’s bigger than you, it’s bigger than any single one of us. Recognize that we can be generally good people but still participate in widespread oppression. Recognize that you have a long way to go, and that’s okay, because so does everyone else.

The Fox in this story should work at understanding this dynamic better and getting past her initial defensive reactions, because no one’s attacking her, and it’s not personal