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kpopxx · 4 years

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Spy Games [Chapter 1] : More Than It Seems

Characters: Twice Momo, Male Reader

4579 words

Authors Note: This is literally the first fiction writing I have done since I was a little kid writing stories about a town full of hamburgers. I was inspired to try my hand at writing by the plethora of amazing kpop smut writers out there right now, but by @lockefanfic, @nsfwtwicecatcher, @nsfwflint, and @ggidolsmuts in particular. If there are any similarities between my writing and theirs, please forgive me as I’ve spent more hours than I’d care to admit “researching” their work.

One thing that amazes me is how the hell everyone cranks out thousands of words with such frequency, as this post isn’t even 5k and it took forever to write. I can’t begin to explain how much respect I have for all the authors out there who can write so much and maintain such high levels of quality.

As a new writer, I welcome any and all feedback! Feel free to drop me a line if you have any critiques, or if you just want to chat!

***

“Coming up on the target now.”

“Roger that, remember the office is on the top floor. Let us know when you’re inside. And remember, no elevators...” teases your handler, Choa.

“Thanks for the reminder,” you reply sarcastically.

You survey the skyscraper against the night sky--it would be impressive if it weren’t one of a hundred just like it downtown Seoul--and wonder what you had done to deserve getting the short end of the stick. Of course, you knew there was a reason to avoid the elevators: they sat directly in front of the building’s concierge and the cameras in the lobby, while the stairwell lay in a remote part of the first floor. The logic behind your impending hike didn’t make the reality any less abhorrent.

“Meanwhile, Seolhyun gets to infiltrate an organization in the Caymans. Just my fucking luck.” you grumble to yourself.

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby,” says Choa, reminding you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You sneak past the lobby and towards the back of the floor you find the entrance to the stairwell in a poorly lit area.

“Beginning my climb.” you report, shaking out your legs as you prepare to go up.

“Sir, I-I’m getting some interference over comms,” chimes in the timid voice of the girl you knew to be your newest team member, Yoo Jeongyeon. “It could just be local chatter, but I want to make sure it’s not someone trying to listen in.”

“Probably nothing to worry about, but we’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to worry about.” Choa assures you.

As you climb up the stairs, you wonder why anyone would want to listen in on this particular mission. This was a run-of-the-mill operation to investigate money laundering at an accounting firm. You’d infiltrated foreign governments, broken into and bugged the offices of billionaire CEOs, and tailed enemy agents. You could understand people wanting to hear those comms, but this? Either someone wanted something to listen to as a sleep aid, or this mission was more interesting than it looked.

A tip had come in through one of the new girls at the Intel Desk reporting that there was some fishy activity related to organized crime going on at the accounting firm. This was routine and you’d gone on dozens of similar recon missions before: break in, find suspicious intel, get out. But if someone wanted so badly to hear what was going on, the new girl may have stumbled onto something worthy of a promotion. Hayoung, you think her name was. Her chestnut, shoulder-length hair along with her well-endowed physique reminded you of a young mother, but her mature beauty belied her young age. You had caught yourself more than a few times fantasizing about her in your off hours…

You stop mid-way in the stairwell, scolding yourself for losing focus. Too often over the course of the last year you found yourself fantasizing about the women in your life. Sure, before the incident with Eunha you had sexual thoughts about your coworkers--you were surrounded by beautiful women, after all. But recently you noticed that your life was increasingly preoccupied with sex: both in your thoughts and the real-life exploits you carried out.

Much longer than a few minutes later, you reach the 63rd floor out of breath and sweating, wishing more than ever that it was you and not Seolhyun lounging on the beach. You take a moment to compose yourself before peeking out into the office floor to see if the coast is clear.

“We may have a problem, boss. Jeongyeon looked into the comms disturbance and someone much more sophisticated than the average joe is definitely trying to tap in,” Choa says. “Jeongyeon’s kicking their ass right now blocking their access, but there’s only so much she can do alone. Eventually we’re going to lose control of this channel.”

“Dammit. I knew something was off with this op,” you grumble. “If they want to listen in to whatever I find, it must be important. We’ll go dark. Recon says this should be a quick in and out anyways. I’ll tag you once I’m out.”

“Be careful. Signal us if anything goes wrong. Just don’t do anything stupid.” replies Choa.

“What do you think they pay me all this money for?” you tease, wanting to put her nerves at ease. “See you on the other side. Over and out.”

You could hear the concern in her voice. Even though keeping you safe was part of her job, you knew she cared about you. You also knew as well as she did that anything could go wrong even in the five minutes it would take you to break in, especially when it appeared that someone knew exactly what you were doing.

You switch off your comms link and head out the door and into the office.

It looked exactly as you expected--rows and rows of non-descript cubicles, with a princely office lined with glass walls occupying the far corner. Jeongyeon had retrieved the floor plan by hacking into the building’s security database earlier in the week, and you knew after her effort tonight in detecting and fending off the comms interference that Choa would want you to acknowledge the work the new girl had been putting in. She certainly was more skilled than the five previous team members you’d fired after Eunha, but you found it difficult to bring yourself to praise her. The Ops Officer position she occupied was a sore point for you, after all.

You deftly pick the lock on the corner office door and immediately sit down in front of the terminal on the desk, logging in with the security bypass Jeongyeon drew up.

Again your thoughts drift to Eunha. Eunha was your longtime Ops Officer--highly skilled, you trusted her more than anyone. It also helped that she was your fiance. It made you sad to think about her; about what could have been, what should have been. Over the past year, you were constantly reminded of her absence by the utter incompetence of her replacements. You suppose it was nice that at the very least, Jeongyeon didn’t give you many opportunities to bemoan her performance in the same way--to remind you of Eunha.

You shake your head, compelling yourself to rise out of your funk and get on with the mission.

As you scroll through files, you stop on one with a familiar signature. Reading its contents, your eyes open wider--suddenly you understand why someone would be interested to listen in to your communications. You quickly save the file to your flash drive and stand up to leave, only to be startled by a figure in the doorway.

“Care to tell me what’s on that?” comes a familiar voice from the darkness that you knew to be Hirai Momo’s. Momo was an agent for a foreign espionage agency--you had as friendly a rivalry as you could have when working for different governments.

“What was the point of trying to hack our comms if you were just going to show up and ask me that?”

“I had no intention of coming until you decided to ghost your girlfriends,” teases Momo. “Besides, I like showing you how much better I am at sneaking around.”

Momo flicks on the light and she comes into focus. The Japanese government made a good decision when they hired her, you think. She was built for the job of a seductive spy. Her perfectly toned legs had a lovely sheen all the way up to her short skirt, while her cleavage suggested that her tits were ready to burst out of her tight, patterned blouse. Where most of your attention was drawn, however, was her lustrous blue hair, which fell to her shoulders.

“I may actually need your help with this, once you see what’s on it,” you say, nodding your head at the flash drive.

“Oh, so you’re willing to give it to me? I thought I was going to have to fuck you for it,” she says sarcastically. You knew behind the humor was more than a nugget of truth, though. Sex had been the primary vehicle for information trading with Momo over the years. You decide to test your reading of the situation.

“Just because I need your help doesn’t mean I’m giving it for free…”

Momo brings her thumb to her mouth and bites gently as she ponders your not-so-subtle proposition. She takes her turn to look you up and down, making you feel more than a little self conscious in her gaze of judgment. After so many years in the dangerous world of espionage, there were only a handful women who could make you feel so small. Then again, Momo was no regular girl.

Once she’s satisfied she has properly appraised your worth, Momo lets go of her thumb and straightens her blouse.

“Fine,” she says matter-of-factly, “let’s get to it,” unbuttoning her blouse as she walks towards you.

You are surprised by the lack of fight she put up, but you thought it best to keep that to yourself. Her tone reminds you of a business meeting--that is, if you hadn’t seen her pull her top off as she approached you. She sits in your lap on the chair, wrapping her arms around your neck as you meet her lips for a kiss. Momo’s mouth was familiar to you, introduced to you many times throughout your career. It seemed like every time you ran across her you had sex. One thing you adored about your relationship with her was that it was absolutely without strings attached. You fucked for work, but just because it was part of the job didn’t mean you both didn’t enjoy it.

Momo, however, was loath to admit the pleasure she got out of her liaisons with you. Call it pride, call it being professional, whatever--Momo refused to act like sex with you was anything other than work, no different than working in a spreadsheet.

You feel her reach down to your pants, quickly unbuttoning them as she sinks to her knees in front of you. You smirk--her eagerness to please you betrayed her air of ambivalence.

Momo wastes no time getting down to business. You are certain the Japanese trained her very well in tender foreplay, but it seems she doesn’t care much for subtlety at the moment. Instead, she utilizes a more direct method to extract your pleasure--one that must have required its own fair share of training--as she spits on your cock before immediately forcing it as deeply in her mouth as she can take it. One, two, three bobs is all it takes for her to reach the base of your cock, her nose buried in your pelvis.

“Fuuuck me, that’s good,” you groan as you hold her head in place for several seconds, and Momo replies in turn with a cough that spits a healthy serving of saliva on to your cock. You release your grip on the back of her head to give her a chance to breathe, but she surprises you when she simply continues to work her mouth on your increasingly saliva-drenched cock, swirling her tongue around your base. Most of the other women you had slept with in recent months would be gasping for air by now, but Momo’s demeanor was cool, calm, and collected. Almost as if she was reading your mind, Momo paused her slurping and pulled her mouth off your shaft--but not forgetting to continue stroking it with achingly deft corkscrew motions.

“What’s the matter? Girls in your department not able to take care of your cock like a real woman?” Momo clicks her tongue and grins. “I’ve told you for years, you’d never be treated so poorly if you came to work for a professional outfit like ours.”

“Shut up and suck my cock.”

Momo shrugs, and gets back to the task at hand. Slobbering even more as she takes you into your mouth again, you pause to thank your lucky stars that you had a job that paid you in part to fuck women like Momo. You gaze upon her face, which has become just as messy as your cock. Momo’s sloppy blowjob has not only left liberal amounts of spit on your cock, but on her face as well--with strands of her blue hair plastered to her cheeks. Even though you thought it impossible, you feel your cock get harder at the sight of Momo’s messy face.

For several minutes, Momo continues inhaling your cock as you find yourself nearing the point of no return, you yank Momo’s head off your throbbing cock in order to prolong your session. A bit too forcefully, it seems, as Momo falls over onto her side.

“What the fuck!” yelps Momo as she picks herself back up, glaring at you. “I suck your cock and you thank me by throwing me on the ground?

“I didn’t mean to, I’m just not ready to cum yet. We both know you would’ve ignored me if I had asked you to stop.”

“I guess you’re right about that,” Momo replies sheepishly. You knew from previous run-ins with her that she loved nothing more than swallowing cum. Even though you had just denied her that favor, you were already thinking about how to make it up to her in a few minutes.

“How about I repay your kindness? Get up on the table and let me eat you.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. I’ll get up on the table, but you’re going to fuck me.”

“Someone’s eager to see what’s in this thumb drive,” you tease, inadvertently reminding yourself that this was a transactional liaison. You suspected that Momo’s interest in you extended beyond her desire for the information at hand, and part of you yearned to take her outside of the confines of work. You’re skeptical such a day would ever come, however, given how ambitious Momo was.

You knew her story--she applied for a job in the Japanese spy agency several years ago, making it all the way through the process before being cut at the very end. She ended up receiving an offer shortly after one of the other finalists died in a ‘training accident’, but Momo lived with a chip on her shoulder ever since. She lived and worked with a pathological drive to prove the agency wrong in their original decision to cut her. Already the youngest lead operative in her country’s history, she had an eye on the directorship and seemed destined for it. So, you supposed, it was nice to be able to fuck her before she became famous.

Momo hops on up on the desk, hiking up her skirt to reveal a delicious-looking blue thong that matches her hair. She looks behind towards you with lust heavy in her eyes as she pulls her thong to the side, revealing her glistening pussy--already dripping, you noted.

“I don’t have all night.”

More than happy to oblige, you line your painfully throbbing cock up with her pussy and you can feel the warmth radiating from it. You take a second to appreciate Momo’s incredible physique as your hands graze downward from her upper back, to her hips, and finally to her ass. As you rub it, you cannot help but appreciate how sublimely taut it is.

“Jeeze, you act like this is the first time you’ve seen a woman naked,” Momo jabs, interrupting your reverie.

You are starting to get annoyed with Momo’s demeanor. It was nothing new, really--she always carried an air of superiority--but it nonetheless grates on your nerves to see her be so dismissive. You are mature enough to understand that at least a part of this aggravation had to do with the fact that you knew Momo slept with plenty of men for work. Not so mature, however, to be able to stifle the primal urge deep inside of you that wanted Momo to see you as the best of all her lovers. More than ever, it seemed that sexual vanity mattered a great deal to your self-confidence.

With a renewed sense of purpose and your cock in hand, you enter Momo slowly with a long stroke until you fill her to the hilt. In unison with your initial insertion, Momo lets out a whine that crescendos as you bottom out.

As you begin to thrust in and out Momo settles in and widens her stance ever so little, which has the added benefit of allowing you to go even deeper into her warm, wet pussy. Momo was not a girl of surprises. Her face was gorgeous, capable of angelic beauty and fiery lust. Her body reflected the many hours she spent in the gym with ample breasts, insanely tight abs, and a toned ass to match. Her pussy feels exactly as sublime as her beautiful face and incredible body suggested. The perfect combination for a woman who used her body to seduce and take advantage of brainless men. You decide to push out your mind the realization that at this very moment, you are in fact one of those men.

You wanted to make sure Momo felt each and every drive into her hot flesh. Momo continued to moan quietly, each breath punctuated with a new thrust and the sound of your skin meeting hers.

“Looks like someone’s gotten real quiet all of a sudden,” you say, noticing her haughty attitude had subsided as pleasure took you both over.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Momo says, looking back at you with rekindled determination in her eyes, “you’re no better than half the guys I’ve been with. I’m here for the file, not for whatever you call this.” She cooly turns her head to face front again, leaving you seething.

Your twinge of annoyance was now a bubbling boil.

You slow down before withdrawing your cock from her warmth--Momo lets out the faintest whine of disappointment, betraying her dissatisfied front.

Just as Momo turns her head again to complain, you quickly slam your cock deep inside her. Momo yelps, and you notice her eyes bulge as you move your hips in a circular motion with your cock filled to the hilt, scraping deep inside her pussy. After several seconds of this you grab a makeshift ponytail out of her hair and yank backwards, causing her to gasp and arch her back instinctively. As much as she bothered you with her air of indifference, you had to admit that the image in front of you was the stuff of dreams.

Taking advantage of the highly erotic sight before you and the increased leverage offered by your grasp of her hair, you began to truly fuck her with quick and powerful strokes.

“Take it, Momo,” you grunted, beads of sweat beginning to form on your forehead.

Momo said nothing, emitting only breathless gasps from her open mouth. You noticed that their intensity was gradually increasing, so you increased the speed of your shaft penetrating her young, sinful body. You knew she was enjoying this, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until you broke her facade. You wanted her to lose herself to you.

You speed up even more, and the volume of your skin slapping together increases as her pussy drips wetter and wetter, mixing with your leaking precum. You are slamming your cock into her now, and Momo has to grab on to the table to steady herself. Slowly but surely her pretense was crumbling.

“You want it, don’t you Momo? You want more?”

“Fuck yeah,” Momo gasps hoarsely, struggling to speak with her hair being pulled, “Give it to me...o-oh...fuck, give it to me!”

Satisfied that she had succumbed to her pleasure, you relax your grip on her hair slightly and lean over to growl in her ear.

“I’ll give it to you. I’m gonna make sure you remember this, make sure every time you’re with another man you wish it was me.”

Momo acknowledges your promise with a deep groan, giving you great pleasure as you resumed fucking her gorgeous body.

Your eyes drift downward to her glorious ass, now shining with sweat and jiggling violently with each crash of your cock inside her. Inspired by the sight, you release her hair and put one hand on her hip and begin striking her ass with your other. Momo shrieks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with lidded eyes while biting her lip to tell you she wanted more.

Again you oblige, and it was quickly becoming clear that lust and pleasure were staging a coup of Momo’s senses. She’s making lots of noise, but nothing intelligible. Nothing but guttural moans interspersed with high-pitched squeals. You continue spanking her ass, alternating cheeks--noticing a deep pink beginning to form on both. She’d most likely be dealing with soreness for several days after this, you think.

“You wanna cum, Momo? Cum for me, I know you want to.”

“Mmmmm...Ah, ah, AH! Unggghh,” comes Momo’s response.

“Come on Momo, fucking cum baby...cum all over this cock,” you shout, sincerely hoping there was no one working in an adjacent floor to hear.

“FUUUUCK!” Momo screams eloquently, suddenly dropping her head as her body begins convulsing. You knew what to expect having slept with her before, but you are nonetheless surprised to see how completely overtaken her body was by pleasure. Her upper body jerks spastically as her legs tremble with your cock plunged deep inside her pussy, all the while letting out a high-pitched whine that turns into a soft whimper. Just a few minutes before she was defiant and happy to throw insults at you...now she was a mewling, writhing mess incapable of speaking. The dark, primal part of you is satisfied by her tacit recognition of your talent.

After a short while, Momo begins to compose herself and lifts her upper body from the table. You take it as a sign to slowly resume taking your cock in and out of her. You decide to give her now glowing pink ass a rest and caress her back, tracing long lines with your nails.

“Mmmmm, that feels good,” Momo says, her eyes still closed, “you fuck me so good.”

You slowly begin ramping up the pace, rolling your hips with each stroke. You want to make sure your cock pleases every inch of Momo’s pussy, and make sure it craves you when she’s alone at night.

After several minutes of this tender, softer version of lovemaking, Momo comes back to her senses. She arches her back again and turns her head to gaze in your eyes as you continue to take her. She begins to move her ass back and forth on your cock in unison with your own strokes.

“Oh my god, you feel so good in my fucking pussy! Every...fucking...stroke!” Momo gasps, the final words punctuated by the force of her majestic ass crashing against your cock.

“You’re a bad girl, Momo,” you tease, “you like being taken and shown who’s boss, don’t you? You like me grabbing your hair and slapping your ass?”

“Yes!” she gasps, “Yes I love it! Mmmmm...I want you to fuck me until you cum. Fuck me until you cum!”

There was no command in the world easier to follow.

Satisfied that you had fulfilled your vain, immature desire to see her acknowledge your skill as a lover, you now focus yourself on extracting pleasure from the young woman beneath you. You settle into a pace with rough strokes, fiercely pounding her over and over. Your pleasure rises with each thrust, aided not only by the mindblowing caress of her pussy, but by the incredible sight of Momo on all fours before you moaning with each strike of your cock inside her.

“Fuck Momo...I don’t think I have much longer, I’m gonna fucking cum so hard!”

“Yes,” comes the response from Momo, “Yes, yes! Fucking cum baby, I want your cum so bad!”

A few more thrusts and you can feel the point of no return coming. For a brief moment you contemplate cumming inside Momo, to truly claim her. You quickly reconsider, wanting to give her what she truly wanted--to swallow your load.

And so, you quickly withdraw your cock from Momo’s now sopping wet pussy and she instinctively turns around and drops to her knees on the floor. Stroking your cock with great fervor, her mouth wide open begging for what was to come.

“Please give me your cum, please, please! I want it...I need it! Cum for me!”

Your head tilts backward as a long groan escapes your lips. Your cum explodes from your shaft, shooting long, thick ropes of semen into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Over and over, your cum splashes on her beautiful face until you finally reach the end of your orgasm, panting and exhausted. Momo’s face is a pornographic picture of lust, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she swallows the mass of cum you deposited in her mouth.

“I fucking love your cum,” Momo says as she wipes the remaining cum off her face with her finger and promptly brings it to her tongue before swallowing it down as well.

“I’m glad we were both able to get what we wanted,” you say, struggling to catch your breath.

“Speaking of getting what I wanted…” Momo says, nodding her head to the part of the floor where the USB drive now sits, evidently thrown from the table during the session that had just taken place.

“Right,” you say, suddenly remembering you’re here for work, “make a copy and let’s get out of here.”

“Great,” says Momo, still on the floor with a satisfied smile of content on her face, “Hey, I meant what I said about having you join our team. As much shit as I give you, we could really use someone with your talent.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m better off staying put. Don’t think the Korean government would let me live if I tried defecting.”

“Probably true,” says Momo as she begins picking up her clothes, “Never hurts to ask, though.”

***

A few minutes later, you and Momo had both gotten dressed and copied the file onto a drive for her. Momo disappeared into an adjoining hallway and you set off to traverse the stairwell again. As you prepare yourself for the descent, you also steel yourself for the repercussions of giving the intel to a foreign spy agency. With the information you saw in the file, you knew the Japanese would have to be looped in sooner or later. If it was going to happen eventually, you thought it made the most sense to entrust that intel to the agent on the other side you knew would make sure things got done correctly. As logical as it seemed to you, however, you knew it wouldn’t be taken well back at the office.

You click on your comms link, now knowing there’s nothing to fear.

“Hey Choa, I’m on my way back to the rendezvous.”

“Oh thank god! That took forever, I was about to call for a tac team!” Choa sighs with audible relief, “I take it you got everything you needed?”

“Got more than I needed, actually,” you say, nervous about Choa’s reaction to what you say next, “Listen, there’s one small thing you should know...”

“You did WHAT?!”

#momo #twice smut #momo smut #male reader #b/g #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

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tea party (daddy angel)

A/N: Ello everyone! Here I am, trying my best to survive finals the best way I know how, writing my feelings away. This is a fluffy one since I just need this to survive finals and work. I’m trying to make my way through my requests, if you’ve made a request, I’m trying my best to write it! I apologize for it taking so long, I get side tracked and I’m just the worst at times. But fret not, I will finish your requests soon!

Anyone else going through finals, let’s finish strong!

Also, the way you love me part two and two weeks notice are the next to be updated. I will not post any other updates till I update these two stories!

Love you all!

10 days till Christmas!

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know!

Masterlist

Word count: 3109

Warnings: NONE! FLUFF!

CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER! <3

You looked at Emilia as she looked around the scrapyard, looking for her favorite person, of the week. The five year old was the spitting image of you with the personality of her father. You followed after her, the sunset making the heat of the desert that much bearable, which was why you were at the scrapyard. Going further in where the clubhouse was, Emilia spotted her favorite person, Creeper.

“Tio!” She exclaimed loudly causing the Mayan men that were outside to look over at her. They all looked at one another before they groaned when she added the name. “Cree!” Creeper was not sometbing Emilia could pronounce that well two years ago and Cree just stuck.

Creeper flipped the rest of the guys the bird before making his way over to Emilia and meeting her half way.

“Hola princesa,” he kissed her cheek, making Emilia squeal in delight.

“How am I not ever a favorite?” Angel question, a pout on his face as you greeted him with a kiss and a hug.

“Your daddy, you’re always the favorite.” You knew that was partially true. Angel was Emilia’s forever favorite, but with her Tio’s it was a rotating system.

“Not true, she favors you over me.” Angel wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“For this week, she’s playing us baby. Emilia knows the game.” You watched as Emilia animatedly spoke to Creeper and Riz about the latest toys she received. “She has them wrapped around her finger.”

“She has all of us wrapped around her finger.” Angel chuckled. He kissed the top of your head one more time before walking over to join them.

“Mommy!” You heard your eldest, Xavier call for you.

You turned to face your eight year old and he ran straight to you. A chuckle escape your lips as he wrapped his arms around you, careful with your portruding belly.

“Hi baby sister.” He softly patted your belly, you smiled as you felt the baby kick. You were six months pregnant and you were ecstatic to be pregnant again. You and Angel always wanted a big family, but you knew after these two, you were done. You just haven’t told Angel you were having twins.

“How you know it’s a baby sister?” You wrapped an around around his shoulder as you both make your way to Emilia who had Angel, Creeper, Riz and Bishop all around her.

“It’s big brother instinct.” He proudly told you.

Xavier was the spitting image of Angel with a mixture of yours and his personality. The quiet, mild tempered eldest was everything you and Angel could dream of as a big brother. He dotted over Emilia and did whatever his baby sister wanted.

‘As long as she’s smiling then that’s all that matters.’

Your little man was too wise for his years, it was the reason the other members always messed with Angel that it didn’t seem like Xavier was his kid. But they just didn’t know the mature side of Angel. He was always goofy, but Angel could be as wise as Coco and Ezekiel when he wanted to be. He just decided to fit the mold that was carved for him, it made him feel unpredictable, except with you. The way you read him so well used to frustrate him, but now, he saw the benefits. It still annoyed him especially when you what to do to get him out of his funk. Sometimes he wanted to stay in his funk, but you wouldn’t let him.

‘We’re a team. Pout all you want by expect you outside in twenty minutes ready to spend the day with me and the kids. Club business is club business. In our home, we matter most. Club business stay outside.’ Then you would pause a mischievous smirk on your face whenever you two would have this talk. ‘But if you want to take out your frustrations on me in the privacy of our room, then we can do that too daddy.’

He would be a goner and this was why you were pregnant with baby #3.

You and Angel have been together for over ten years and married for four. Angel could never admit why it took so long for him to pop the question. It was the age at first, too young to marry, even though you two had Xavier two years in your relationship. Then being in danger came to play. Being almost kidnapped almost tore you two apart, but before it could become permanent, Angel snapped out of his stupor and stayed put. Emilia came then.

When she turned two, on your anniversary, Angel popped the question and the rest has been history.

“Xavi!” Emilia broke away from Creeper and went to her forever favorite, her big brother Xavier. You’re not sure how you two were so lucky that Xavier and Emilia were as close as they were, but you never questioned it. The two were inseparable and they both had such a hard time whenever Xavier had to school and two year old Emilia had to say goodbye to her older brother for a few hours.

“Mia,” he fondly wrapped his arms around her. Mia was his nickname, no one else’s, not even daddy or mommy could call her that. It was for Xavi alone.

“Xavi, I invited daddy, Tio Creep and Tio Riz to our tea party!” There was no need to invite Xavier, he was always there, no matter what. Everyone else was invited to their tea party. “Mommy, you can come too.”

“Why thank you for inviting me Emmy.” You laughed.

“What about me sweetheart? I don’t get invited?” Bishop crouched down to be Emilia’s eye level.

“Daddy said you’re too old to have a tea party with us.”

Everyone held back their laughter as Bishop looked up at Angel.

“Kids, say the silliest things.” Angel chuckled nervously as he steered Emilia away from Bishop. “I think she misunderstood, I said you have important matters to attend to prez.”

“Yeah, okay dipshit.” Bishop smacked Angel upside the head.

“Jar!” Emilia yelled out.

No one was allowed to swear around Emilia. It was a rule made since she absorbed everyone’s words.

Every. Single. One.

“How was the OB appointment?” Angel questioned, caressing your belly.

“Good, the baby is doing well.” You corrected babies in your head, but you kept it to yourself. You wanted to keep it between you and Angel, you wanted to tell him when you were all home.

“You really don’t want to find out what we’re having?” It was a hoax deal you made with Angel. You knew what you two were having, but again, you wanted to surprise him.

“Babe, don’t you like the element of surprise?” You wrapped your arms around Angel’s neck, giving him your infamous pout that Emilia inherited from you.

“Oh fuck no baby, not the pout.” Angel groaned. “Fine, happy wife, happy life.”

“I knew you would see it my way.” You kissed him, hearing your kids groan.

“Hey, when you get your first girlfriend, mama and I are gonna be groaning like that too.” Angel warned Xavier. He turned to his little princess and shook his head. “No relationship for you, girl or boy.”

“Angel!”

You were cooking dinner for the night, your house was a full house once again. Once a week, your home was basically the center location for the Mayans to have dinner. You loved hosting your second family and you knew the kids loved having their family over, especially Emilia since before dinner, they all had a tea party. It was always amusing to see some of the Mayans men gathered around her coffee table, playing with Emilia.

“You need help mommy?” Xavier broke away from the group, making sure you were good. Ever since you became pregnant, Xavier was your little shadow while Angel was your big, sometimes annoying shadow. Pregnancies were difficult for you, but Angel could be over the top. Your little man tried to give you your space as much as he could, but whatever you needed, he got for you.

“I’m good baby boy, go back to the tea party, Emmy doesn’t like being away from you.” You advised him.

“It’s okay, daddy and the other tio’s have been occupied.”

You gave him an odd look before closing the oven door and walking over to the technically divided living room and kitchen. There on the floor all around the table was Angel, Creeper, Riz and new one Bishop, who was being taught proper tea etiquette.

Bishop ran Templo, but Emilia Marisol Reyes ran this Reyes household, followed after you of course. You could see the other members holding back their laughter as Emilia shook her head vehemently when Bishop just tried to drink from the tea cup without holding it properly.

Angel tried to mask his laughter with a cough, but Bishop shot him a look.

“Tio Ish! You’re not paying attention to me. I’m the princess and this is my royal tea party.” The pout on her lips made Bishop sigh.

“Sorry princesa, Tio is new at this.” Bishop held his hand out so that Emilia could put his hand on his. “Lo siento.”

“Okay, since you’re my favorite.” She smiled such a bright smile, Bishop felt accomplished for the day.

“Hey, wait a minute, I’m her favorite!” Creeper interjected.

“Be quiet, I’ve never been the favorite.” Bishop glared at the Mayan’s road captain who immediately zipped his mouth.

Angel looked over at you, giving you a wink. You playfully rolled your eyes and continued cooking.

“When you drink, you have to lift your pinky up like this.” Emilia proceeded to demonstrate for Bishop. “And you have to drink slowly since it’s hot.” She turned to Angel and scooted closer to Bishop. “Daddy always burns himself because he mostly pays attention to mommy when we play.” It was a failed attempt at whispering that made the men at the table laugh.

Angel excused himself from the party and let Xavier take his seat. He walked over to you, his muscular arms wrapping around you, his hands resting on your stomach.

“Hey mami,” he placed a kiss on your neck, nuzzling you.

“Hey,” you leaned your head to the side to touch his.

“You good?”

“Angel, don’t make me strangle you.” You threatened Angel at least twice a day. It didn’t matter to him since it was endearing.

“Like with my head in between your thighs?”

You laughed, playfully elbowing your husband. “See this is why I’m pregnant.”

“And? I told you, basketball team.” He turned you to face him. The smile on Angel’s face always got you in trouble, but there was no other partner in crime you would choose to get in trouble with or to be in love with.

“Unless you start popping babies, I might be all tapped out after this one.” You truly were. Twins were going to be crazy and the last thing you needed was another bundle of joy after them. You love having kids with Angel, but you had to be mindful as well.

“Come on mi amor, at least two more.”

You laughed in your head. After he finds out you’re carrying twins, he may not feel the same.

“Daddy! It’s my time, mommy is cooking! You said not to bother mommy while she cooks.” You both heard Emilia call out.

You and Angel looked at one another and laugh. He kissed you once again before placing a kiss on your stomach. He walked over to Emilia and sat beside his little princesa.

“As a new member, you must tell us your favorite person.” It was a rule Emilia made up. Anyone new who joined the tea party had to tell everyone who their favorite person was, and there was only one answer.

Emilia.

Bishop chuckled. “Of course it’s you princesa.”

The smile on Emilia’s face was priceless. As soon as Emilia came in this world, everyone knew that the Mayans men were going to be suckers for her. And they were right. Emilia was not bratty and for such a young child, knew her boundaries. She pushed it from time to time, but you and Angel always put your foot down when she did.

“You’re my favorite too! Forever and ever!”

All the men shared a look, they knew that the statement was valid, until Taza came back from visiting family.

Her one true favorite who braided her hair and gave her anything she wanted. She may have a new favorite every week, but Taza would always be the person she was drawn to.

“Mommy said that we should all wear tiara’s,” she paused for a moment and looked at you as you peaked over at them again. “Headbands as it is proper, hair wear for tea parties.”

The men looked at you and you held your hands up. “Head wear baby. And don’t look at me, we’ve seen several tea parties and a majority of them the guest wear head wear. It’s fancy after all and, Emilia is your princesa.”

“Baby, some tea parties don’t have it. You don’t want to mess Tio Riz’s beautiful hair.” Angel pointed out.

Emilia turned to Riz, those puppy dog eyes of hers immediately encapturing him.

“Anything for you,” Riz put on the the tiara that she referred to as head wear.

The men followed suit and the tea party continued. Dinner went off without a hitch and now, you were leaning against the headboard with Angel massaging your aching feet.

“Baby, you’re so good at this.” You threw your head back, loving the feel of Angel’s fingers against your feet.

“Sometimes, I feel like you married me because I got the magic fingers.” The mischievous smirk on his face hinted that his meaning was anything but innocent. “My fingers always got you moaning.”

“You’re too much at times.” You laughed, throwing a pillow at him.

Angel easily dodged it and joined in with your laughter.

“Thank you.”

You looked down at Angel and raised an eyebrow at his thankfulness. “For what?”

“For our family, for accepting my family.” Angel always wondered why you decided to stick by him.

“What? Of course. Angel, we’ve been together for so long. I know why you tried to push me away, but you’re lucky I’m sure a wonderful and forgiving woman.” You blew him a kiss and he smiled.

“I’m lucky to have you mi corazon. You’re the love of my life.” The way his eyes softened as he looked up at you, you returned his gaze with the same softness.

“You’re the love of my life too.”

Angel crawled over to you, kissing you. He was on his side, your face turned towards him. His hand was on your belly as it always was when you were pregnant. Angel loved it when you were pregnant. Knowing you two created something together, it always made his heart swell.

He was a man who never thought he deserved anything, but everytime he looked at you and your two kids, he knew that this was made for him, he was where he was supposed to be. He may be a bastard, but God was forgiving.

“Did you really not find out what we’re having?” Angel found it peculiar since you didn’t want to be surprised. You wanted to know so you could plan. And he went with whatever you wanted.

You hit your lip and placed your hands on top of his that we’re resting on your belly.

“We’re having a boy.” The smile that spread across his face was just priceless. You loved seeing Angel’s smile, you always made it your mission to keep that smile on his face. “And a girl.”

“Another boy, guess we’re out numbering you. Wait we’re tied cause we’re having a girl.” Your words finally sunk in and he looked at you with the most confused face. “Bring that back one more time. We’re having a boy and a girl?”

You’re eyes welled up as you nodded your head. The disbelief, yet the happiness on Angel’s face was unmistakenable.

“Baby, holy fuck.” He looked down at your six month only belly. “Twins? Fuck, my Olympic swimmers are champions.”

“Angel! You’re such a dork.” You wiped the few tears that came down, you blamed hormones but Angel always said you cried easily.

“Don’t lie baby, all of our children was like one shot done.” His ego impressed you, but also annoyed you. But you also loved this big goof. “Baby, twins, fuck. And you want to stop after them?”

“Let’s give it a few years, let’s revisit.” You kissed the tip of his nose.

“Emilia was with you, I’m surprised she didn’t shout it out.” Angel then began to worry. Emilia was used to being the only girl. He didn’t want his baby girl to feel replaced, just like how he felt with EZ. “Shit, what if Emmy doesn’t want a baby sister?”

“Doesn’t want a baby sister? She’s already planning their shared room. Emilia is going to be a great big sister, just like Xavier is such a good big brother. You want to know why?”

Angel looked at you, waiting for your answer.

“Cause they see how much their daddy loves their Tio EZ. They loved seeing you two together and I do as well.”

Angel began to tear up then, burying his face at the crook of your neck. Emilia already had the MC at the palm of her hands, another girl? It was going to be a sweet disaster for the MC.

You couldn’t even think of what would happen once Emilia and your unborn baby girl was going to bring home boyfriends, when tea parties would no longer be their go to but actually parties.

“Shit, more tea parties.” Angel broke you away from your thoughts.

You laughed. “Shut up, you know you secretly love them.”

And he did. Angel wanted to cherish the moments the Emilia still wanted to be a daddy’s girl. He wanted to cherish the moments where it was still cool to hang out with daddy. He knew eventually that won’t be the case, but he tried not to think of that.

“Can we have a baby every few years, just so we can always have a full house?”

“Again, unless you’re popping them, that’s a no for me.”

If you were being honest, Angel would eventually get you to agree. You wanted a big family and honestly, with the support you had, there was nothing wrong with having a big family.

More tea party guests.

=================

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @anangelwhodidntfall : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespancakes : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @60shannon : @deeandbobbymcgee : @marquelapage : @justlikebreathing : @mindless-x-dreaming : @thesewordsareallihavetogive : @wiccanmetallicrose : @appropriate-writers-name : @likedovesinthewnd : @admirehermind : @krysiewithak : @helli4nthus : @robbosvgdens : @scuzmunkie : @proudlittlewitchbitch

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #angelreyes #angel reyes x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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emersonfreepress · 3 years

Note

ok ok in the spirit of community, how would the ros fair in a paintball war?

(referring to this ask! like the zombie au post this ended up making me think a lot 😅)

ohh... interesting, interesting... p sure the only paintball wars i’ve really seen were the ones featured in The League, Peep Show, and Community... but let me wrack my lil head...

ok, i ended up coming at this from multiple angles like the zombie au post 😅 always so much to consider in battle environments! and in the spirit of community, I'll stick with the individual player elimination style paintball match. in the woods with other e prep seniors. last one standing wins bragging rights

Gabe

Shooting skill | 6/10 - Experience with shooting and practice with Kile ofc

Stealthiness | 8/10 - He's done a fair amount of sneaking around during his after school activities, is super observant (or just paranoid lol), and naturally light on his feet. Good luck ambushing him.

Strategy | 8/10 - Strike deals. Do favors. Form alliances. Shoot 'em in the back once they’ve outlived their usefulness. ...What? It’s just paintball.

How does he win? | Graciously. Gabe likes winning, and especially via strategic manipulation, so it puts a smile on his face. And he's in a good mood so he treats a bunch of you to ice cream or smth 👀

How does he lose? | Slumps in frustration at being outwitted or taken off-guard, sulks about it for a little while. He's not that sore of a loser but needs time to lick his wounds and stop thinking of the different choices he could have made.

Kile

Shooting | 9 - The most accurate shooter of the cast and easily one of the best shots at E Prep. Lots of practice + talent

Stealth | 10 - They're stupid good at climbing trees and 100% consider that a valid method of ambushing their classmates. People start having flashbacks to 3rd and 4th grade recess and P.E. Scanning the trees. They just start taking people out with such efficiency it quickly starts ruining the game 😂

Strategy | 0? 10?? - “...Strategy? You just stay out of sight and kill 'em all, right?” (immediately scolded by Gabe for word choice 🙄) They really do mainly stay out of sight and pick people off with max stealth, like 😆 they'd be such a terror, people would need to take them out early for anyone else to stand a chance! They spend a lot of the game staking out the most frequented paths in the area and taking out groups quickly, all at once. Then they'll get around to stalking and picking people off one by one. The real fun...

Winner type | Stoic. Likes winning combat but the stakes were non-existent, so... the win is meaningless! this just infuriates the losers more 😅 such disrespect

Loser type | Sucks their teeth and tosses their paintball gun to the ground. "Y'all suck." (they're over it five mins later tho lol)

Jack

Shooting | 3 - This is nothing like shooting light guns... ☹️

Stealth | 5 - Not just due to his size making him an easier target, but homeboy is liable to get distracted by a cute squirrel or some pretty flowers 😂 He's not great at keeping his voice down either so good conversation would make him easy to seek out. He's just out here enjoying a beautiful day 😅

Strategy | 7 - All that movie-watching (and DMing) make him a valuable creative mind for problem-solving, but he needs a cooperative team to be effective. Rescued and recruited by Rupan/Rohan early on in the game ^ ^

Winner type | Disbelief! And everyone’s content and satisfied with him winning. Except Vivian/Vincent, that jealous fool

Loser type | Doesn't mind losing at all! He just hopes he was a good teammate and was glad to have fun ☺️

Jessie

Shooting | 7 - Comes from a family of hunters, girly knows how to shoot.

Stealth | 6 - Familiar enough with woods and stalking prey to be capable of sneaking around. Having too much fun to not giggle and get overly invested in the developing plot of the game. Even more easily distracted by critters and flora than Jack 😅

Strategy | 5 - Oh, she's just here to have fun. She'll go with whatever the person she's teaming up with decides, but can adapt easily enough.

Winner type | Surprised... then elated! Bouncing and happy and it's completely contagious. No hard feelings about a single thing. Convinces Heidi to invite people to the Emerson Estate—it's a hot day and they have a nice pool

Loser type | Same as Jack! Congratulates the winner with a hug because she's sweet like that 🧁

Rain

Shooting | 2 - This... thing is so cumbersome. And ugly. At least it shoots pretty colors.

Stealth | 7 - Small and used to sneaking around different environments and seeking out hiding spots. Their height and frame makes them harder to spot too.

Strategy | 4 - Hide!!! They’re not getting assaulted with paint and pellets!! Especially not after managing to make this ugly jumpsuit look cute?? Waiting it out is perfectly legitimate. Might share snacks if you decide to join them in hiding 😆

Winner type | Falls asleep in an unexpectedly cozy hiding spot and emerges as everyone thought they’d declared the winner. I imagine R and others yelling at them to get their gun while the original winner scrambles to get theirs, just for Rain to win by pure luck of the draw. Won’t stop them bragging about it, though! (I want this spurned runner-up to be Vi bc ofc)

Loser type | "So I can stop holding this thing?" Yawn. "I'm so hungry and bored, we've been at this for hours..."

Rupan/Rohan

Shooting | 4 - Ah, shit. These don't shoot anything like light guns.

Stealth | 7 - They sneak out and around town a lot 😂 They just force themself to be careful about how loud grass and bushes are.

Strategy | 7 - They’re treating this shit like an action movie and banding together a ragtag team of misfits to take down the strongest alliances and players. Savvy enough to reject Gabe’s and Curt’s offers to join, not opposed to strategic backstabs. They're very clearly just as focused on having fun as they are on winning—and playing Predator, which honestly works with Kile runnin around. They even brought war paint and borrowed a tactical vest. Is it mostly packed with snacks and weed? Maybe. Does it prove useful for negotiations? Hell yeah.

Winner type | Raucous celebration, just pure joy and adrenaline ☺️ Celebrates with their team, brags a bit, rubs it into Vi's face, makes fun of Curt, the usual. Then invites allies out to get pizza because it's the obvious next step

Loser type | Mostly disappointed they can't keep playing. They're a little sore about being left out of the action, but soon just start chatting with other marked players about how the game went for them. Plenty entertaining on its own, they want all the details

Vivian/Vincent

Shooting | 5 - They've got a little bit of shooting experience.

Stealth | 4 - They're overly sensitive and hate being in nature. Their skin is sticky, they keep feeling bugs everywhere, they've gotten dirt all over their pants, it's so hot, they keep WALKING into SPIDERWEBS, [flails about, screaming furiously]

Strategy | 8 - They have good ideas, they're just difficult to execute alone, especially since they're getting sunburnt and getting crankier and can't stop swatting at insects 😅 they're one of the first people to figure out that someone's taking out groups from the trees, so they stay solo and try to find a single person to team up with. Really what they need is someone who's a better shot but easy to boss around. They can probably just owe them for an in-school favor...

Winner type | Barely suppressed gloating. Vi somehow finds a way to be an obnoxious winner almost entirely by the look on their face. Once they're in a smaller group, they're passionately discussing the details of the game and happily boasting about their triumphs (while glossing over all of the whining and and slip-ups lol)

Loser type | Booo, such a sore loser. (Especially in the scenario where Rain wins 🤣) If they're outsmarted or outgunned in a clear, transparent way they'll growl and stomp off, then quietly glower and sulk for way too long. If they're double-crossed or beaten in an underhanded way oh lord —they're fighting it to the end. R can't help but get involved either way, reminding them it was a damn game with literally no prize. "C'mon, Vi, chill. You want ice cream? Let's get you ice cream."

Heidi

Shooting | 6 - Some shooting experience.

Stealth | 8 - She's very aware of her surroundings and her body. Perceptive yet quiet. Tactical. All residual traits picked up from her many activities over the years.

Strategy | 9 - Most likely to outsmart everyone. The first one to figure out groups are being targeted from the trees. Goes it alone and only open to trading (unless she sees Curt with Jess in which case she puts a quick pin in her plans to rescue her 😂). She also immediately figures out it's Kile, because ofc it is. Keeps close tabs on what groups are doing, knowing that eventually Kile will come down to ground level to pick off individuals and couples. Predator becomes prey 👀

Winner type | Proud but not boasting. She doesn't need to be. Victory looks good on her, natural and fitting. Thanks everyone for a good game then takes the girls for a long ride in the Cadillac 😎 top down on a bright day, baby

Loser type | Damn. She should have won this. Maybe if she'd... She probably could have... Then she snaps out of it, roped in by the celebratory mood of congratulating the winner. She's over any feelings of frustration or regret after getting to discuss the match with the person that took her out/the winner and there's no hard feelings. If anything this was fun as hell, it should be an annual thing. ☺️

Curt

Shooting | 8 - Some shooting experience and a natural knack for it. Good reflexes.

Stealth | 8 - Curt likes to say he gets along with the woods around these parts. Sneaking around is second nature to him. Really good hearing too. He's an easy target if you manage to seduce him though, having no issue leaving himself vulnerable if it means that kind of fun 😂

Strategy | 7 - Honestly, he's most interested in seeing how long he can get away with using charm and seduction for both protection and double-crossing 😂 Eventually becomes persona non grata and gets all of his ammo stolen by a vengeful mark, barely getting away in the process. Since that jig is up, he finally starts thinking a win might be nice... and so he teams up with the only competent player who would never betray him and also inspires the least vitriol in others: Jessie. What? Is his back-up plan using her as a human shield? No! 😚 Of course not! 👉👈

Winner type | Insufferable and gloating. Rubs it in a lot of people's faces, specifically Heidi, Rupan/Rohan, and any participants who genuinely don't like him. Brags to Gabe (who is completely disinterested in gassing him up 😂), then promises he'll make things up to Jessie (who didn't mind and had fun lol). Then celebrates by asking whoever he's flirting with these days for a quick date—and a ride in the Ferrari. Makes a scene pulling out of the parking lot. Ass.

Loser type | Doesn't care one bit as long as he had fun! And he always finds a way to have fun, it's why he's so carefree 😅

#lovely anon #answered #ROs #scenarios #someone pls confirm that kile is using paint pellets thx #I can totally see myself writing this out as a an actual short story 😂#maybe as a kofi reward whenever I get that set up 🤞🏾#I don't think any of these are incomplete...

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joshjacksons · 3 years

Text

Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”

It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.

“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”

Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.

Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”

An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.

“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”

Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.

In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.

She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.

“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.

Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.

Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”

He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.

“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”

Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.

“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.

“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”

So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”

Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.

Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.

A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.

The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.

Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”

When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”

Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.

“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”

Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”

Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”

He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”

While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.

#joshua jackson #dr death #dawson's creek #fringe #the affair #jodie turner smith

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the-lady-writes-what · 4 years

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The Vampires’ Pet, A Otome Game Story

I play a few otome games to pass the time. I am in a relationship, but sometimes a girl just wants to be swept off her feet by handsome 2D men, ya know? This idea has been bugging for some time now, so I thought I’d give it a try. How it’ll work is that there’ll be five character classes you can chose from which will determine how the story begins, influence decisions, and how it’ll end. I don't like sad endings, so there won’t be endings like in typical otome games where it ends badly. I also have played D&D, so this has also influenced the character classes you can chose from. These obviously won’t describe your race or physical characteristics, but it will determine career, general aesthetic, and some general personality traits.

Premise

In a land where witches, vampires, and fae exist, one family rose up to create an empire for themselves. Living secluded in the dark woods, the Todoroki family rules over a town. More benevolent than other vampires, they never hunt to kill, no matter how many mouths they have to feed. That doesn’t make them any less dangerous. A hungry vampire is still a hungry vampire, no matter how merciful they might be to those they govern.

Meet the Cast

Enji Todoroki: The Patriarch

What’s it like to be both feared and respected? Enji knows. While stuck in a political marriage, he is free, just as Rei, to pursue consorts. He can be harsh, though never cruel unless you ask him to be. There are things he regrets from his past, but it will be difficult breeching his well-built walls.

Favorite Color: Dark blue

Favorite Food: Kuzumochi

Likes: Control, business, money, strength, body-building, hunting

Dislikes: Whining, laziness, weakness

Kinks: Brat taming, breeding, mating press

Turn Offs: Lying, obnoxious optimism, slackers

Favorite Blood Type: A

Rei Todoroki: The Matriarch

Staying in a loveless political marriage was a decision made for herself for protection and for the sake of her children. It doesn’t hurt that she slightly enjoys the power and control she has over the estate and the ability to help the townspeople. There’s power in numbers. With her family surrounding her, there’s nothing she’s incapable of doing.

Favorite Color: Silver

Favorite Food: Coffee cake

Likes: Reading, gardening, flowers, embroidery, winter

Dislikes: Loud noises, gore, violence, intruders

Kinks: Soft dom (her), temperature play, voyeurism (sometimes likes to watch Enji fuck or be fucked)

Turn Offs: Yelling, rudeness

Favorite Blood Type: B

Touya Todoroki: The Troublemaker

Just don’t call me Touya. You’d be better off calling him Dabi like he asks. His family might have kept him tame and he’s smarter than to let himself fly off the handles because of a pretty face or daddy issues. He might be looking for a good time, but when it’s time to get his hands dirty, Dabi isn’t one to mess around.

Favorite Color: Black

Favorite Food: Anything spicy

Likes: Music, dancing, metalworking, a pretty face, embarrassing his father, drinking

Dislikes: Enji, staying in one place, boredom, sweets

Kinks: Wax play, heat play, chains and bondage, exhibitionism, choking

Favorite Blood Type: B

Natsuo Todoroki: The Scholar

If he could live anywhere else, he would. It isn’t that he hates his whole family, though his relationship with Enji has cooled to frost by now, but Natsuo can’t make himself like the ostentatious wealth. Oh, he likes money, but there is far too much space at the Todoroki estate for his liking. If it also wasn’t for the fact that vampires really should be sticking together, Natsuo would have left home ages ago.

Favorite Color: Sea foam blue-green

Favorite Food: Sashimi

Likes: Books, wine, science and medicine, the ocean, nature walks, bubble baths

Dislikes: Warm weather or room temperature, spicy foods, strong smells (perfume, sweat, herbs, etc)

Kinks: Silk lingerie, ice play, bathtub sex

Favorite Blood Type: O

Fuyumi Todoroki: The Sensible One

Unlike the others, Fuyumi stays at home the least. Not because she has a place of her own, but because she acts as the go-between for the town and her family who rules over it. She’s the most kind, gentle, and level-headed of her family, though that doesn’t make her a push-over. Having grown up with a strict father and as a vampire who’s exist walks a thin thread, Fuyumi is a lot stronger than her casual clothes and glasses make her appear.

Favorite Color: Pink

Favorite Food: Ice cream

Likes: Children, tea, reading, poetry, rain, autumn, dramas, theater

Dislikes: Hot weather, sweat, violins

Kinks: None, pretty vanilla

Favorite Blood Type: B

Shoto Todoroki: Little Brother*

Being the youngest of the family hasn’t helped his case. While having grown out of his rebellious teen phase, Shoto is still considered the baby of the family, still learning the ropes as to what it means to be one of the family, an adult, and a vampire. He lives to high expectations, and thus is why he hangs around his eldest brother so much to blow some steam.

Favorite Color: Lavender

Favorite Food: Cold soba

Likes: Drinking, reading, playing cards, dice games, horseback riding, shopping

Dislikes: Staying indoors too much, hypocrisy

Kinks: Temperature play, edging, overstimulation

Favorite Blood Type: AB

That’s all I have for now. Since the format is completely different from a regular story, this will require a lot of planning and research. (Oh no, I'll have to play more dating sims games in my spare time. What torture!) In all likelihood, this will probably end up on a side blog or on AO3. This kind of content is too long for single posts. Tomorrow I’ll give a rundown on the character classes as this post is already really long as it is.

*Yes, Shoto is aged up. I don’t feel comfortable writing teenagers.

#my hero academia #mha fanfiction #mha smut #vampire au #vampire otome fic #MC fic #reader fic #y/n #Todoroki family #enji todoroki #endeavor #Rei Todoroki #touya todoroki #Dabi #natsuo todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #shoto todoroki #minors do not interact

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demivampirew · 4 years

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Dry-leaves

(photos taken from Pinterest. Credits to the owners//collage made by me)

Henry x 1st person reader one shot.

A/N: First of all, I want to thank the people who showed me a lot of love in the post that I explained who I felt these last few days about writing (and in general). I decided to push through the negative thoughts and write. I used the mood I was in to write this one shot. Even thought this character is fictional, there are plenty of things for my personal experience I used for her background. I tried to make it a feel good story, but the issues reader thinks about are pretty real.

Triggers: depression; family drama; stress (college, job, family)

You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist

Tag list: @lunedelorient @henrythickcavill @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @mary-ann84 @desperate-and-broken @peakygroupie @summersong69 @ivvitm1109 @madbaddic7ed @iloveyouyen @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog @whyyoudothistomecavill @thetaoofzoe @thereisa8ella @darkbooksarwin

The sound of the dry-leaves crunching as I step over them made me tingle and relax. I've been so stressed lately that I often forget to appreciate the beauty of the simple things like this.

If I have to be honest, I never truly value the little pleasures nature gift us: the Orage-ish leaves falling from the trees covering the floor and grass on Autumn; the cosiness of watching a movie while covering yourself with a blanket in the cold winter. The display of beautiful and vibrant colours of the blooming flowers in the spring, which release an often delicious and refreshing scent and, the longer days in the summer filled with sunshine.

When I was younger, my parents set this expectation that the only way to succeed in life was to get a degree in college and find a well-paid job; so, as I grew up I became more and more obsessed with the idea of achieving this goal, that I completely ignored important things in life: my happiness being the main one. Unconsciously, I convinced myself that all I wanted in life was to get a degree, I thought that was my ultimate destiny. It was only the moment when I felt as if I was drowning when I realized that the only reason I was working hard on graduating from college was to make my parents happy, or to be more specific, not to disappoint them.

In life, there always that point when you're doing something you don't want to do, even if you pressured yourself to believe that it is, and you finally realized that that's not for you. My moment came last year when I was in a job that made me extremely unhappy and to top that, I was -for the third time in my life- in college trying hard to keep up with it and don't give up like the times before. I worked almost every day and with all I had to study for classes, I didn't have the time to do the simple things in life that I adore: watching my favourite shows and movies, listen to music I like, read books or see my friends. I achieve a level of unhappiness, that I would go to sleep every night wishing never to wake up again. I was done with my job, college and life.

Thankfully, there was a part of me that still believed in the possibility of a happy future and that's what gave me the energy to rescue myself from that dark hole. I started therapy, sought for a new job and decided to quit college - at least for now, maybe someday, when things are different and I have more time or maybe when I'm older I'll give it another try if I want to. But, the most important thing is that for the first time I would do what I wish; I'll work hard on building the life I want for me and not what others, my parents, for example, want for me. I might not be in my early twenties anymore, I might be at the age in which society expects you to have your life figured out and just starting to work on the future I want, but it's ok. It's ok just to walk through the park, enjoying watching the wind carry the falling tree-leaves and the little bear play with them, rolling over them and barking at the kids playing as if he was asking permission to join them.

"Here's your hot chocolate, babe," Henry said, handing me a Starbucks coffee cup full of a steamy milky infusion. He chuckled as he saw Kal play with two boys and a girl -the boys around ten and the girl must have been around five or six years old.

I met him a year ago at this same park. He saw me sitting on a bench, crying while I looked at my phone. The reason behind my tears was that I received a message from my mum telling me how disappointed she was for my decision of quitting college - it wasn't like me that was not the exact answer I expected from her, but still hurt to see her words. Henry asked me what was wrong and then sat next to me and had a long chat about life and how he dealt with the negative opinions others had of him. That day I thanked him and walked away, thinking that I'll never see him again. As it turns out, he walked his furry best mate in that park every single chance he got. Me on the other hand, I would go every now and then to that place because I found it hauntingly beautiful and peaceful. It's in a fancy neighbourhood and a bit far for the place I live, but it filled me with good energy so I didn't mind having to travel for an hour or so to get there to be able to enjoy its beauty.

The second time we saw each other was almost a month after that afternoon. I immediately recognized that unique creature that was the Akita and sought for his human with my eyes. And there he was, sitting alone on the same bench we met, watching his dog with an enormous smile on his face. I went into the Starbucks nearby and bought a coffee for him and a latte for me. Thankfully he was still there went I came back from the coffee-shop. Giving the fact that we spent an entire afternoon talking, I was sure he would remember me, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he remembered my name as well. We chat for hours again, only this time the topics were more cheerful. That time he was the one who left first, but not without asking for my number first. For the following weeks, there wasn't a day we would not text each other, talking about absolutely everything: from games, books and movies, to family, friends, and ambitions in life. After a few weeks, he finally asked me out - I was dying for him to do that, but I wasn't exactly expecting him to do so, after all, he was a breath-taking gorgeous and very famous man and me, just a simple girl in her late twenties trying to figure out what I wanted to do with life and "breath-taking" isn't exactly an adjective that could be used to describe myself, simple and pretty enough could be more accurate - I might not be ugly, but for sure I'm not a femme fatale.

Living with my parents as I got closer to be thirty wasn't exactly an issue for my age, but rather because I decided to quit college. If I ever wanted to get better, I needed to live in another place, which is extremely difficult when you don't have a big salary. I earned enough money for expenses and other things but I could not afford to rent a flat. Henry offered to help me but I refused at first, until I couldn't stand to be in the house I lived anymore. It was then when I decided to accept his alternative proposal: to move in with him. This option was better than the other 1) because it wouldn't cost him any extra money and 2) we would be able to spend more time together.

"Thanks, baby, " I replied after grabbing the hot chocolate and took a couple of sips. My right arm grabbed his left one and we walked around the park, always keeping an eye on Kal as the bear played with those kids.

I'm happy to know that it's ok to not have things figured out. It's ok to take your time to enjoy the simple things in life. And when someone gives you a hand and tries to help you when you need it the most, you're not less independent, weak for accepting it.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x 1st person reader #henry cavill fluff #demivampirew

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theprodigypenguin · 4 years

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You know, I have this idea (in a Remus and Tonks live au) that Teddy may be afraid to come out to Remus. Like he knows his father is really chill and loves him to the moon and back (no pun intended) but he still is a bit scared. Like he has told his mum ages ago but still struggles with Remus. And now I want to know what would your take be in a similar situation? My excuse is that I just love your Teddy and your headcanons.

Hope this is what you had in mind anon dear:

word count: 3.8k

CW: internalized biphobia & biphobia

Teddy didn’t think it was possible to have gotten better parents. The ones he had were more than enough, and he considered himself extremely lucky. After all, there were plenty of kids around who didn’t have parents at all; like his Uncle Harry and Professor Longbottom. Teddy had both his mum and dad, and he often acknowledged the fact he could have lost them both during the Battle of Hogwarts.

George was the one who told him, when he was still rather young. “Your dad showed up to the battle first. I was surprised because they’d just had you, and no one would’ve blamed him for staying home. He’s a Gryffindor though, and he wanted to fight. It’s no wonder. Your mum showed up a little later, insisting you’d be fine. You were just a tiny thing. I’d only seen pictures of you by then, but you were days old and she was raring for a fight. She didn’t want your old man to be alone, but it always seemed off to me. I mean, one spell just inches closer could have killed them both.”

The concept of his parents being dead had brought him to tears, and Remus had gathered him up while Tonks scolded George, who looked sheepishly innocent.

Teddy knew he was lucky, and as he got older he tried hard not to take advantage of it.

His parents were wonderful. There were a few times when his father would get irritable and little difficult to deal with, around the full moon, but Teddy had adapted to those times. He tried to be extra helpful around the house because he knew Remus was tired, and it genuinely seemed to help the older man. Other times, when Remus wasn’t dealing with his transformations, he was an attentive and loving father who doted on Teddy.

Tonks said it often, everyone did in fact, that Teddy was so his father’s son. They were attached at the hip since Teddy was born. Tonks used to fake hurt feelings when little Teddy would toddle over to Remus instead of her, but she didn’t seem to actually mind much. That wasn’t to say Teddy loved his father more than he loved his mother, because he loved them both to the moon and back. It was just that Tonks worked at the Ministry as an Auror, and Remus had been acting as a stay-at-home parent since the end of the war.

For a few years that was all he did, stay home and raise Teddy while Tonks worked, until Teddy was five years old and Headmistress McGonagoll offered Remus a job at Hogwarts. After that Teddy found himself traveling to the school with his now Professor father. He was excited to go to work with his father, even though he didn’t really know what was going on. All he understood was he got to be with Remus, and in his mind there was nothing better.

He got to go to work with Tonks sometimes too, of course, and he loved zipping around the Ministry and causing mayhem, seeking out the Minister to take a nap on the trailing tails of his robes while he shooed away the people who tried to remove the toddler. There was just something different about going to Hogwarts with Remus, though. Teddy loved it there.

Mostly Teddy loved being with his father. His grandparents babysat of course, so did his Uncle Harry and Uncle Bill (occasionally Uncle Charlie, but only if he had supervision), but he preferred being with his parents.

Tonks said it was a good thing that Teddy bonded so deeply with his father. She said Remus needed it. Teddy didn’t know what that meant, but he was always up for hugging his dad when Tonks crouched to his level to whisper “papa needs a Teddy-bear hug”. Teddy grew up with the belief and bravery that he could tell his father literally everything. When he had scary dreams, when he didn’t like the cooking, when he thought a rock looked super cool. He strived to make his parents smile, make them proud, because he was proud to be their son, but more than anything else he wanted Remus to be proud.

That was normal, wasn’t it? For sons to crave their father’s pride and attention? That was completely normal.

Maybe that was why Teddy felt such crushing shame when he caught himself staring appreciatively at Ravenclaw Chaser Henry Carlisle after a Quidditch match when he was thirteen. Just that past summer he’d quipped something about Victoire Weasley being cute, and his parents had gone giddy teasing him about his crush. Now he was staring at someone who was not only decidedly not Victoire, but someone who was male. That wasn’t normal, was it?

Teddy bit his nails down to the quick worrying over it the entire school year. It didn’t get better when he got home for the summer, either. It was as if something had been shaken out of place, but the longer he thought about it, the more he realized he’d always had these feelings. His interest in men was the exact same interest he had in women. A part of him didn’t want to pursue the confusing stirrings in his gut, he wanted to just focus on women, but he couldn’t help it.

He experimented with his feelings by sneaking a few less than appropriate magazines into his bedroom, staying up late at night with a flashlight and looking between them with a furrowed brow. Magazines filled with erotic photos of women in bikinis and men in speedos. Some of them had completely nude centerfolds, and Teddy found himself cheerfully enjoying everything.

Teddy appreciated the curved figure of women, but he also liked staring at shirtless pictures of men, ogling at their otherwise flat chests and the ridges of the muscles in their abdomens. Teddy liked broad shoulders in men, and he liked tall women. He liked thighs and he liked the different ways people smiled. Teddy wasn’t picky, and that made him think he was flippant.

He was fourteen when he found a word to call himself. Bisexual. Being sexually attracted to both men and women. That sounded about right, but Teddy wasn’t entirely convinced until he was in his fourth year at school. He was drawn to the intrigue of sneaking around to snog, he was at that age after all. Teddy was happy to make out with fourth year Slytherin Dahlia Calhoun behind the greenhouse when they were supposed to be bringing bags of fertilizer to Hagrid’s but, but he was even more delighted about snogging Henry Carlisle under the Quidditch bleachers after a game where the Ravenclaw had taken a bludger to the arm but still managed to stay in the game.

For a blissful time he was okay with who he was, though he didn’t bring it up when he had tea with Remus, and just shrugged when his father asked him if there was “someone special” in Teddy’s life. Teddy was angry with himself for keeping something so big from his father, but he couldn’t seem to tell the man about wanting to give Dahlia his Hufflepuff scarf because it was cute, while simultaneously wanting to steal Henry’s sweaters because they smelt like him and he loved it.

Would Remus be angry with him? Teddy knew how difficult life had been for his father growing up. He had trouble connecting with people, and rejected the idea of romance for so long because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. Now Teddy was selfishly wanting to be with everyone he met no matter what gender they were, just because he could? Was that fair? Was that normal? Was there something wrong with him?

Remus had spent over thirty years of his life thinking he’d never get married, and to him there was nothing more important than his family. Tonks and Teddy were his greatest loves, that’s what Remus would tell Teddy. That everything he endured was worth it because all the pain and loneliness led him to something better than he ever could have hoped to have.

Teddy didn’t know what that was like. He didn’t appreciate pressing against another person and drinking in their affection the way Remus appreciated it, because Teddy had never longed for it before. He’d never really longed for anything, actually.

He had his beloved parents, he had grandparents who worshipped him. Uncles and aunts who set him on a pedestal, a baby cousin who seemed to idolize him, dozens of little kids who looked up to him and loved him. Teddy had friends and grades that went through the roof, the professors all adored him, and he was smart enough to pull off pranks so flawlessly that younger students came to him for advice on not getting caught. He was admired and appreciated by everyone he met, and maybe best of all, the most he dealt with during full moons was worrying idly for his father.

Teddy had it all, yet he somehow figured he could have even more? That he was entitled to it? Was that what he thought? Teddy didn’t know. It all felt so innocent and natural when he held Dahlia’s hand on the way to Hogsmeade or snuggled against Henry’s chest when they were sitting by Black Lake together.

They were friends, and they seemed to understand Teddy better than Teddy did, because they didn’t mind that the Hufflepuff was still trying to figure out who he was. They were happy to experiment and play along because “that’s what kids do”. Henry was gay and Dahlia was straight, so Teddy would sometimes see them snogging other boys at school, but he never felt jealous or angry. If anything he would think “good job guys” before going on his merry way. Teddy didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him.

He’d just turned sixteen and was finishing up his fifth year when Gryffindor Maggie Scott seemed to deepen his already heavy shame. By rejecting him when he asked if she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him.

“Why the hell would I do that? I know what you do. You’ll be with me until you find some guy you’d rather snog. You can’t like two genders, fucking freak. You’re just a selfish asshole. I could never date some gay bloke who’s confused and still in the closet.”

“But I’m not gay,” Teddy said, baffled, and Maggie scoffed at him.

“You’re telling me you didn’t snog Carlisle in the Astronomy Tower?”

“No I did.” Teddy furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t make me gay.”

“Sorry.” Maggie turned away. “It’s never gonna happen. If you can’t make up your mind about who you wanna shack up with, you’ll probably end up getting bored and cheating on me.”

“I would never do that!” Teddy argued. “And—and I just wanted to go to Hogsmeade!”

“I want a real boyfriend. Not someone who just wants to play around.”

It broke Teddy’s heart, not necessarily the rejection, but the words she’d used. Selfish. Someone who just wants to play around. It wasn’t true. Teddy was pretty sure of that, but at the same time he didn’t know. Maybe he was just selfish and unable to commit to one person.

“Hey mum?” Teddy stared at where Tonks was standing at the counter fixing up dinner. He was sitting at the table with his chin nestled against his folded arms, leaning against the table.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Do you know what bisexual means?” Tonks turned to give him a curious look, and Teddy bit his tongue to keep his hair from going pink. “I heard someone talking about it at school this past year, but I don't know what it is.”

“Oh. Well, it’s when someone likes both boys and girls,” Tonks explained, waving her spatula and staring up as he spoke. “Let me think; you remember Dean and Seamus? They’re gay. I feel like we should have had this conversation before, but it was always so normal to your father and I. Oh well. Anyway, being gay is different than being bi. If you’re gay, straight, or a lesbian, it means your attracted to one gender. Gays and lesbian folk are people attracted to the same gender, so boys like boys and girls like girls. Meanwhile, straights are attracted to the opposite gender, which is what you usually see. Uncle George is straight, for example. He’s only ever been attracted to women, and the majority of people are like that, or at least the majority of what we see is straight or straight passing people.”

“But that’s normal,” Teddy said, lifting his head up. “I know people are gay or lesbian or straight. Those are like, default orientations.”

“Honey there’s no default,” Tonks argued, hands on her hips. “Sexual orientation is as fluid as gender.”

“Gender is fluid?”

“Sure, sometimes,” Tonks smiled.

“But…” Teddy glared at the table. “It’s selfish. I mean, you can’t be two things. You can’t just like girls and boys. That’s… gross.”

“Teddy!”

“And—and unfaithful!” Teddy insisted, sitting straighter. “Bisexual is just what people call themselves when they want to cheat on their girlfriend or boyfriend to make themselves feel better! They’re just people who don’t know how to commit to a normal relationship!”

“Edward Lupin!” The use of his full name made Teddy’s eyes blow wide, sinking in his seat as Tonks slammed the spatula on the counter. “I can’t believe I’m hearing something like that coming from my own son’s mouth!”

“Mum—”

“People do not deserve to be shamed for something that is completely normal and natural! None of what you just said is true!” Her expression softened. “Here I thought we raised you to be more open and accepting of people. Wouldn’t you feel hurt if someone said those things to you?” Teddy’s eyes were burning now, and Tonks sighed. “You have summer essays to work on. Go on.”

Teddy dragged himself out of the chair, ducking his head and hurrying out of the room. His boots pounded against the steps as he ran up them to the second floor, running to his bedroom and slamming the door shut as hot tears rolled down his face.

He kicked his boots off before tearing off his sweater just so he had something to throw at the wall, then stomped over to his bed and threw himself onto it as the tears started coming faster. He supposed he should have been happy, because his mother seemed to openly accept and support bisexual people, enough to defend them, but all he felt was more shame and hate. Tonks almost never yelled at him, so the fact Teddy pushed her that far made him feel sick to his stomach. She must have been so disgusted and disappointed in him. Teddy wouldn’t blame her.

He cried against his pillow for a time before rolling onto his side and grabbing the yellow and black knit blanket that Molly had made him for Christmas when he was ten. He dragged it up the bed and flopped down, covering himself with it completely and rolling into the fetal position. Teddy laid there miserably for hours, feeling on the cusp of crying again or throwing up, not yet tired enough to sleep. Everything sucked.

He flinched when he heard a knock on his door, tensing up and burying his face in his pillow as the door was opened. “Mind if I join you in your castle of sorrow?” Remus asked, but Teddy was too upset to laugh at the playful jab.

“Go away.”

“I would, but this is my house.” The door shut behind Remus, and he walked up to the bed. Teddy felt the mattress sink behind him as his father sat on the edge of it, squirming to the opposite edge of the bed to put distance between them. “I heard you and your mum got in a row. Pretty unusual.”

Teddy grit his teeth, tensing up. “She just doesn’t get it.”

Remus laughed softly. “I guess you wouldn’t think so.” The mattress shifted again, so Teddy figured Remus had leaned himself against the pillows, probably propping up his bad leg. “You know, there are more bisexual people in your life than you might guess.”

“Yeah? Name five,” Teddy scoffed, and Remus hummed.

“Your Uncle Bill for one. Percy is pretty openly bisexual, but I think it took him a while to reach that point. Luna. Your mum and me.”

Teddy gaped through the little holes in the knitted blanket as Remus talked, but he couldn’t seem to respond.

“I suppose your mum is more pansexual, though.”

“Why’d you marry her then?” Teddy asked, curling into a tighter ball. “Why’d you have me?”

“Because I love your mother, Teddy, and she loves me, and we both love you.” Teddy felt a hand on his shoulder and pinched his eyes shut. “I’ll be honest, most of my interest in men was more curiosity than action based. I did have a crush on Kingsley at one point.”

“Minister Kingsley?”

“The same. Imagine that: werewolf Remus Lupin dating Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt.”

“It wouldn’t be weird,” Teddy argued on a mumble. “You won an Order of Merlin, you would have made a good match,” he frowned, “but then I wouldn’t be here.”

“One of the very many reasons I’m happy I met your mother and fell in love with her. We’ve been together a long time now, and we’re very committed to each other. I would never cheat, and neither would she.”

Teddy felt tears well in his eyes again as shame settled in his stomach like a rock. “I didn’t mean it when I said it,” he croaked, and Remus squeezed his shoulder.

“I know you didn’t. Come on, come here.”

Teddy pushed his quilt aside and sat up, scooting closer to Remus so he could be pulled into a tight embrace. He tucked his face against Remus’ shoulder, sniffling. Remus rubbed a hand up and down his back before going into his hair.

“Now, is there something you need to talk about?”

Teddy rubbed his cheek against the scratchy cardigan Remus was wearing to dry the tears, hands clinging to the material at his back. “Dahlia Calhoun has a really nice smile, but so does Henry Carlisle.”

Remus chuckled, carding a hand through Teddy’s hair, which had gone from a depressed brown to a chalky blush pink. “And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying them both.” His arms tightened around Teddy. “I know being a teenager is hard — believe me, I know — but you’re a good person, Teddy. Whatever people may say, you were born this way, and you’re perfect. Who knows, maybe you’re bisexual because your heart is too big to love just one gender. Seems boring to me to only be attracted to just girls or just boys anyway. Your mum and I will support you whether you end up dating a man or a woman.”

“Mum’s mad at me,” Teddy said miserably, and Remus squeezed him closer.

“She’s just sad. We both should have talked to you about this kind of thing much earlier. Things got away from this. I swear you were only a year old yesterday,” his voice was rough and Teddy smiled. “Give her a hug and tell her you love her and you’re very sorry. She’ll forgive you.”

“Okay.”

“You better make up with her fast, on that note,” Remus chided as he pulled back, reaching up to wipe away the tear tracks on Teddy’s face. “Harry, Ginny, and the kids are coming over for supper.”

“Really?!” Teddy scrambled to his knees, bouncing on the bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I just did!” Remus laughed. “Stop bouncing on the bed. Are you sixteen or six?”

“You wish I was six. I’m a man now, dad,” Teddy announced as he scrambled off the bed.

Remus stood up to follow him out of the room. “I do sometimes miss when you were small, but don’t forget you’re still a kid.”

“Uncle Harry was already winning a war at sixteen,” Teddy argued as he hiked down the stairs with Remus close behind.

“Uncle Harry is an idiot.”

“Hey,” they both looked up to see Harry standing just inside the door, his coat only halfway off and an indignant pout on his face.

“It’s not your fault,” Remus reassured. “It’s in the blood.”

Harry pouted more as his nine year old son shot past him, nearly toppling him, Ginny and Tonks.

“Teddy, Teddy, Teddy!”

Teddy stopped on the ground floor and opened his arms for James to run into, crashing against his chest like he was a bludgeon. “Hey Jamie,” Teddy grunted in greeting, wincing in pain as the younger boy practically climbed him in order to lock his arms around Teddy’s neck.

“Didja hear! I’m going to Hogwarts!”

“Not till next year,” Harry reminded him. “Bloody hell he hasn’t stopped with this. You have to be eleven, James.”

“I’m gonna be!” James yelled into Teddy’s ear.

Teddy tilted his head to the side, still hugging him close. “How old are you, Jamie?”

“Nine!”

“And you’re gonna be eleven this year?”

“Yeah!”

“What number comes after nine?”

“Te—!” James stopped, looking confused, then seemed to deflate. “Oh.”

“Now he’s gonna be sad all night,” Ginny said, and Harry rubbed a hand over his face.

“You know what that means though?” Teddy asked, setting James back on his feet. “I’m gonna be seventeen when you start Hogwarts, so I’ll know all the best spots to pull pranks, and all the secret hallways no one else knows about. I’ll show you the ropes!”

“What ropes?” James asked, and Teddy squished his face between his hands.

“That’s an expression, dummy.”

“Am not!”

“Are you going to say hi to Remus and Tonks?” Harry asked, and James whipped away from Teddy to scramble over to Remus.

Teddy shuffled backwards to stand with Tonks, who put an arm around him and kissed the side of his head. “I’m sorry I got mad earlier,” Teddy said softly, and Tonks squeezed him.

“It’s alright sweetie, I know you were just struggling. Your dad and I are here when you need us.”

Teddy smiled sheepishly at her, turning just in time for James to once again barrel into him and cling to him. That was how visits usually went though. James would lock himself to Teddy and not let go until he had to be dragged away. Teddy was fine with it, though. Having all three of the Potter kids piling over him and hugging him, a giggling mess.

Teddy was so lucky, he reminded himself as he crouched down so James could clamber up for a five step piggyback ride into the dining room, smiling brightly and not feeling nearly as empty and ashamed as he had before. Things were great, and they’d continue to be great, because he had the best parents in the entire world.

Thank you everyone who sent in songs!

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recommendedlisten · 4 years

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With so much great music being made, some albums are always going to be overlooked come the end of the year. Time is the biggest hurdle with that. Be it a lack there of to cover every artist with a new album cycle, needing more of it to give a great listen the full attention needed to digest, or the timing of a release just not hitting the same way it does months later, it can grow more difficult by the day to take in everything while appreciating it.

This year, Recommended Listen is taking a look at some of the best overlooked albums on these pages throughout 2020. These are albums that weren’t fully reviewed, found on any volume of Listen to These., on this year’s Best of 2020 lists in any form, and in some cases, not mentioned even in track or video coverage at all. You may already be familiar with some of them, but it would remiss to not given them their due. As the year wraps up, let this be a reminder that discovering new music has no expiration date either.

Arca - KiCk i [XL Recordings]

KiCk i is the the first in a purported four-part series from electronic music reinventor Arca, and with its timing of being released in the midst of the summer’s busy release schedule, it’s understandable how a listen that demands an attentive ear could get lost in the mix. KiCk i, similar to that of Arca’s kindred experimentalist Bjork and her own avant-pop rendering Volta, is still both the artist’s most accessible formation to date, and yet, an alien aural experience by modern pop music standards in the way its human construction collapses and glitches with intention. What we hear here, however, is Arca coming to the forefront of her sound with her voice being used as both instrument and narrator, blurring the lines between any one kind of convention.

Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now [Atlantic Records]

She’s the main reason this post exists, but when she released the year’s first certifiable quarantine album, it didn’t quite hit the same way it does now in December. That’s not to say that how i’m feeling now was not understood upon initial impact -- it seems to be a going theme that Charli XCX works her best experimental pop magic when she’s moving fast and quickly -- but at the start of springtime when the fears of the pandemic were at their most fresh and agonizing, it was difficult to get into the same space as that which she had carved out in the dark using black diamonds and digital euphoria. Time heals, though, and just as Pop 2 sparkled in its own winter, Charli’s isolation feeling wears better forever in the cold just like December.

Dua Lipa – Future Nostalgia [Warner Records]

To call Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia an overlooked album is technically a huge overstatement considering it has been near the top of most major publication’s year-end list and she’s earned the title of 2020’s biggest pop star not named Taylor Swift. Future Nostalgia, much like the Weeknd’s After Hours, came into view at the worst possible timing, however -- Those first arduous weeks of lockdown when the last fucking thing on your mind at that time was club music and dancing. Still, the UK songwriter’s energy has prevailed at the end of 2020 with its funky synthesis of disco, electronica, and futuristic pop production. It may be one of the few things in pop culture this year we feel wistful about when we hear it a decade from now.

Fontaines D.C. - A Hero’s Death [Partisan Records]

Another overlooked listen that fell victim to a super-saturated summer release schedule, maybe it’s better than Fontaines D.C.’s A Hero’s Death, in all of its desperate lamentations, be appreciated during these wintry months than late under the scorching July sun. The most surprising revelation behind the theatre curtain of the Dublin post-punk band’s sophomore effort is in the manner which frontman Grian Chatten has sunken his working class shouting matches into the foci of a bleaker state of mind, and yet, not at the expense of dark comedy and appropriate growl. A Hero’s Death may be a quieter raucous from Fontaines D.C., and also one that suggests that the depths of their sound are most visible when methodically circling the drain.

A Hero's Death by Fontaines D.C.

Infant Island - Beneath [Dog Knights Productions]

We are in the throes of a screamo revival, though Infant Island are a whole different behemoth in that realm on their sophomore outing Beneath. Here, the Virginia-based five-piece eviscerate the scene’s intensity through charring post-rock epics and answering back at the void with raw, bleeding screams. Their style -- a bastion of hardcore, black metal, and beautifully atmospheric rock echoes -- barrels in with it the heaviest kind of weight on the soul every time Infant Island awaken from the pitch black craters. Ultimately, it consumes you and leaves you in their ash.

Beneath by Infant Island

LOMA - Don’t Shy Away [Sub Pop]

One of the things we are slowly, but surely beginning to see in indie rock and guitar-based rock right now is that artists are once again gaining confidence in sounding atypical. LOMA -- the trio of songwriter Emily Cross, multi-instrumentalist and recording engineer Dan Duszynski, and Shearwater frontman Jonathan Meiburg -- quietly are making these strange moves in the further out regions of their sophomore effort Don’t Shy Away. Informed by desertscapes, forests, occult energy, and its own divinely defined relationship between earth and soul, the listen absorbs both the physical and spiritual worlds through sound with LOMA acting as its vessel to communicate between each.

Don't Shy Away by LOMA

Peel Dream Magazine - Agitprop Alterna [Slumberland Records]

Some of the most interesting sounds coming from the next generation of shoegaze shape-shifters this year weren’t always the ones that filtered feedback through a dark, brooding punk heaviness. Akin to fellow breakouts Dummy, Peel Dream Magazine -- the moniker of NYC songwriter Joe Stevens -- is veering far away from those boundaries as well as those in some of today’s indie rock traditionalism with a lush, sun-bent projection on the sound that is entrancingly weird and dilates inner elation. On Agitprop Altnerna, Peel Dream Magazine sophomore effort, the band’s music achieves a new level of metaphysical experience through its collaborative cast, enriching the colors dispersed by its prism.

Agitprop Alterna by Peel Dream Magazine

Porridge Radio - Every Bad [Secretly Canadian]

Porridge Radio were a victim of their own buzz here on Recommended Listen upon the UK post-punk band’s release of their acclaimed sophomore breakout Every Bad. It admittedly happens when an indie rock band with all of the press envy going for them already in every place else (especially with bigger publications) equates to putting their work on the backburner here so that other lesser-covered independent artists can get due coverage just as well. Every Bad is very good, though, with guitarist Dana Margolin tapping into a dynamic,, aggressive side of intimate melancholia with her emotional voice as keyboardist Georgie Stott, bassist Maddie Ryall and drummer Sam Yardley steer the storm in the rough seas of life around her.

Every Bad by Porridge Radio

R.A.P. Ferreira - purple moonlight pages [Ruby Yacht]

2020′s rap game was ruled by its underground hive, and purple moonlight pages was part of writing that story. As the restart button for R.A.P. Ferreria, f.k.a. the prolific Milo, this album hears the man behind the moniker, Rory Allen Philip Ferreira, breaking down the barriers surrounding his bars for an experimental foray into jazz-informed rhymes given a brassy luster by producer and multi-instrumentalists Kenny Segal and his crew, the Jefferson Park Boys. Coupled with poetry of both the personal and the philosophical, the limitless rhythm and flow moving throughout purple moonlight pages has found a place for R.A.P. Ferreira's work where the free art and the perfected in prose can coexist.

purple moonlight pages by R.A.P. Ferreira

Samia - The Baby [Grand Jury Music]

Emotional guitar music being vesseled inside finely-crafted indie rock songwriting is once again in a better place than it’s been left these past several years, and an artist like Samia Finnerty is going to be helping taking it further with her own pen in it after releasing this year’s breakout full-length debut The Baby. If you found yourself humming along to the coming-of-age buzz around the glossy Gen Z navel gazing of UK pop-rock export beabadoobee, this collection of songs by Samia may actually cut keeper below the surface thanks to the way she lyrically mediates life’s darkness and young tribulations adulting during a fucked up time in history with a rose-tinted canvas in her sound. She feels its all, and you’ll feel seen, too.

The Baby by Samia

SAULT - UNTITLED (Black Is) & UNTITLED (Rise) [Forever Living Originals]

The identities behind the collective members of SAULT are as hard to pin as the release dates of their albums themselves, which in 2020, had a tendency to drop out of nowhere and made for two of this year’s most enigmatic moments in alluring sounds from unknown places with their breakouts UNTITLED (Black Is) and UNTITLED (Rise). Each listen arrived as bookends between the epicenter of a summer of protest and resistance across the globe, with the UK band’s fusion of house, experimental electronic, and modern R&B creating a document on the ongoing cultural evolution of these Black-centric styles, but as a medium to confront racial issues through an artfully accessible message.

UNTITLED (Black Is) by SAULT

UNTITLED (Rise) by SAULT

The Weeknd – After Hours [Republic Records]

After Hours is another example on this list of an album you would handedly lose an argument in technically calling “overlooked” considering the Weeknd’s Starboy streaming power and chart-topping success is not losing momentum any time soon. It did go up against a huge emotional wall when it was initially released right as lockdown mode was more on the mind than donning fashionable heathen pop, though, even if it's Abel Tesfaye’s strongest collection of post-breakup wreckers and R&B sizzle perfected through the cool currents of his Uncut Gems score collaborator Oneohtrix Point Never and the always-slick singles synthesis of Max Martin’s hand. Grammys don’t mean a thing, but in the pop universe, it's weird when one of its biggest names can't get a nom at the top of their game.

#features #arca #charli xcx #dua lipa #fontaines d.c.#infant island #loma #peel dream magazine #porridge radio #r.a.p. ferreira #samia #sault #the weeknd

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stattic-writes · 4 years

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BD: Learning

https://statticscribbles.tumblr.com/post/639099629845233664/masterlist

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raleigh-ocean · 4 years

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danielle’s archive | headcanons

☾ - sleep headcanon

Oh, Danielle’s sleep schedule is absolutely bonkers. But she knew what was she signing up for the second she chose her career, being completely honest. There are days in which it’s pretty easy to see is fucking her up really bad, but most of the time she’s can handle it - and everyone who knows her is mad worried nonetheless. However, Dani ‘developed’ a ‘superpower’ which she mastered the most when Damien was a baby.

She can fall asleep anywhere at will and get actual rest.

It’s fucking madness, no joke. Sometimes she just closed her eyes while breastfeeding and there, after that, she was all energy and ‘let’s go’. Then sometimes she’s writing something on her computer and she’s sensing an incoming headache, she leans back on her chair and twenty minutes later she’s on her way to finish the report. Bastien, her ex-husband, was pretty much used to it and didn’t comment much, even going further to actually put a blanket, his own hoodie or something over her; but Audrey, oh boy, she’s still getting her way around this and it’s pretty vocal about ‘please Danielle, go lie down’.

Danielle needs to fix this, she deeply knows it, but until she gets where she wants to be, that’s the only way she knows and has been working since her college days.

★ - sad headcanon

There’s something about Danielle that is off. Everyone can see her laughing, living, doing her things, being ‘normal’ but for Danielle...well, she feels restless. Restless because during all her life Dani has been on a permanent breaking point, this line she always walks in because it’s the only way she can feel ‘alive’, the only way she feels she can give everything from herself.

And when there’s no need for her to keep that level of pushing herself, Dani feels restless and like her life isn’t going anywhere. It's a sad feeling that way, as if you have to be at two hundred percent all the time. Damien and Dara might be the only ones to actually know this and try to keep things easy for her, both from their position as daughter and cousin respectively.

If you are attentive enough, you might catch this restlessness sometimes, when she’s idly doing house chores or merely some daily stuff. Billie is getting it as of lately, taking in count she’s trying to get well with Danielle - and Danielle is trying that as well, to get well with Billie.

☆ - happy headcanon

Danielle always has felt that she missed many opportunities to enjoy things and actually be happy due to her own inner turmoil. Situations in which everyone was all over the place, she went through them with a fake smile to please them and hide whatever problem she was going through at the time.

It’s like there’s something capping her, making her unable to fully reach that state of healthy euphoria and only adding up bad stuff at all what she helds inside. I think Danielle would be fully free from this once she understands that it’s okay to lay back at times, to let things go, even miss some chances, in order to not burn herself and breathe.

This said, I think divorcing Bastien - as much as it was, in the end, something both agreed to - was a good start on trying to find that happiness Danielle needs.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

All her life Danielle has heard she was loud when angry, not only big words and feelings but also her voice and way of expressing herself.

And all of this has only made Dani to grow more quiet but also more intense, making her a ticking bomb ready to explode at any second. As of now, she has reached a point in which at times it is really difficult to say if she’s angry unless you’re looking at her face to face. The feeling is all over her features, not matching at all her tone or the way she acts. It’s scary though, really scary. And don’t let me start when she’s like piling up different situations she managed to avert, because eventually they are coming back all at the same time.

Of course, if you want Danielle to explode for real, remind her not to be ‘so loud’ or - and Billie knows this really well - try to tell her what to do when she’s mad as fuck. All I can say that you literally signed up for a free trip to Hell.

✿ - Sex headcanon

To the contrary belief, Danielle is someone pretty active, sexually talking.

As in, everyone thinks she isn’t that interested even because she actually doesn't talk much about these things. Even her reactions upon hearing something remotely close makes her blush and get all embarrassed, but this is because she’s a really private person. She loves having a safe place in which she can be comfortable with it, so it’s pretty rare seeing her more open in front of others about the whole topic.

Her partners can totally confirm this. Bastien, in his side of things, was okay with this because he’s a pretty private person as well and both had a dynamic that worked well around this; meanwhile Audrey is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to it, because she’s more open with it, not Billie and Dara’s kind of open, but she isn’t shy either. Whoever when they actually are alone, it’s easier for Danielle to slip in this side of her that always leaves Audrey breathless.

■ - Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Well, there’s one thing that’s always present around the house and it gives Danielle a massive rush of relief: puzzles. You know these wooden games that have like many pieces? or those others that are made of thick wire? I don’t know what’s the actual name, okay, I think they’re called in english jigsaw puzzles, brain puzzles? I’m not sure, for real, help. But well, those are Danielle's favourite and she has them around the house.

Not only is something really interesting, maybe a bit nerdy if you go deeper, but it’s actually cute. Dani knows how to resolve every single one she owns and Damien is always on a quest to buy her one that actually gives her a challenge. Bastien, when they were married, bought her several from time to time and loved to see how she resolved them, saying it was actually sexy. For Audrey is mesmerizing because she fucking sucks at these, but she got Danielle to teach her how to solve some and that made them bond over something Dani was passionate about, instead of being the other way.

Sometimes she does them just to kill some time, but other times it helps her destress or refocus.

Also, it isn’t weird to find sensory toys as well. Like those you squeeze? Dani has always one in her bag, in her desk at work, in the glove box, and around the house as well. She actually loves those that are animal shaped with sand inside the most, because she can throw them up and down easily.

And how to forget a collection of Rubik's cubes Tiffany bought her during her pregnancy, those ones are her second most favourite thing and had lasted for sixteen years, mostly because Tiffany has repaired them many times for Danielle because she knew how much she loves them. Also she gifted Dani a fidget twelve-sided cube that became her first favorite thing in the world and Tiffany also keeps repairing it because Dani actually told her that she was going to have a breakdown if she replaced it for a new one - she got way too attached because the damn thing was that one that worked the most wonders on her.

♡ - romantic headcanon

Danielle really sucks at being romantic, this is obvious for everyone who has been involved with her at some point.

That’s why she had many boyfriends and some girlfriends during high school and college. They saw her as this unapproachable person they needed to have without knowing her too much and when they finally had the chance to be with her...well, the real Danielle came in.

Bastien fell in love with the fierceness Danielle showed for things she was passionate about and he was romantic enough for both, so little by little some things ended up rubbing off on Dani but still held this awkwardness she always had. Before all of that, Tiffany managed to find the good side of it and she filled the void being her all-over-the-place self, even managed to get some tiny bits of romantic stuff from Dani, and maybe that’s why Tiffany always found and would find Dani prone to improve in this.

Audrey came into Dani's life by the time she managed to learn how to be a bit romantic, but also found her awkwardness and habits part of the whole process. I think Audrey was the only one not wanting her to change nor stay the same, she is more proactive and willing to lead Dani through her own experience. It’s true that in the beginning it was a huge shock for Audrey, taking in count the last four years she had been with two big romantics, but after a while she’s learning to create a better environment for Danielle to be who she truly is and do any change she wants to do.

♥ - family headcanon

Danielle has always felt...alienated? with the concept of family. More than alienated, I would say a bit traumatized by it. And it’s all because of her own family, sadly.

She comes from a big family and she has seen tons of stuff, even more since she’s the second oldest - Danna and her are twins, yeah, but Danna is actually the oldest -, so let’s say the ‘expectations’ were too heavy on her regarding this topic. I mean, they’re four siblings on her side, then on Dara's side are five, their other cousins are two and then Dahlia is the only one...and I think this actually made ‘their generation’ to not have many more than two kids. And also, she always planned to not have kids until probably her late thirties or never. She even thought Danna would manage to get a baby somehow first.

Which allows me to introduce you to this: Danielle never planned getting pregnant with Damien.

Yeah it was a completely surprise, Bastien and her never having ‘hey, maybe we should have a kid’ talk, and she was really close to have an abortion, but she decided otherwise at the end after talking through and through with Bastien about it. Everything plus her life at the moment, put the worst toll over her to be completely honest, it was the worst combination of all times possible that made her depression and anxiety get even worse as well, little by little. And that made Danielle think that maybe it was truly her fault that Damien was born way earlier than expected and other ‘bad’ things - as Damien being sick all the time, problems making friends, etc - that would happen to her while growing up.

Many times she feels the worst mother ever when she goes back in the memory line - and also in the present -, not gonna lie in here, but then Damien turns around and smiles with the might of a tiny sun and many of those fears go away because hey, maybe she did something good along the way, right?

I don’t think Danielle would like to have another one, anyway.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Danielle takes way too long trusting people and that made her someone who doesn’t have many friends at all, but those she has are pretty much ‘ride or die’ friends. Back in Sacramento until her college days, she only maintained two friendships and one of them is her childhood jock friend, Naresh, and the other one is actually her old ‘rival’ in the debate club in high school, Charlotte.

Then when she moved to Canada and the only one person she managed to truly count as a friend was her co-worker at the time, Tiffany, and then she became her true best friend. Naresh and Charlotte are her best friends as well, but Tiffany is on another level for her. And now that she’s in Los Angeles, well, she’s getting fond of this junior at her new job named Joey, a girl that’s really bubbly but keen, and she’s also befriending Billie, to everyone’s surprise, because God knows they didn’t get on well with each other in the beginning.

The thing that hated the most was that many moms of Damien’s old school thought she was pretty friendly but Danielle hated them all and went as far as give everyone a nickname in base which thing she hated the most about them, so Damien had to remind her many times which were their actual names before get togethers or parent’s reunions.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Unfortunately Danielle doesn’t have much time in between work and everything else, so her ‘hobby’ time it’s always reduced to those days she wakes a bit earlier and goes for a run. She loves running, since she was very young actually, and she did atletism in both high school and then college, which this last one was how she got the scholarship. But after she finished her career, Danielle knew she wouldn’t have much more time to keep practicing or even go further with it.

So the only thing left for her to do is those early morning jogs, which help greatly when she’s feeling a bit more under the weather.

This makes her think at times that maybe she could have tried to go bigger with atletism, but then she remembers how much more she loves her job and lets herself enjoy what she chose in the end. With Naresh, her best friend, they sometimes talk about their time on the track team and such with fondness and Charlotte always roll her eyes, adding how much hated them at times for making her wake up way too early to watch them compete.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Many people think that Danielle is someone complicated, with refined tastes and coherent dislikes and maybe sometimes giving off this weird vibe of 'is she truly human?'.

But the reality is that Danielle is the most simple woman when it comes to like and dislike stuff. Per example, she loves rainy days and puppies, those are her biggest known likes, along with reading and probably running. And she's so content when she can do two at the same time? It truly makes a change in her demeanor the rest of the day if she's able to have a tiny dose of these.

And things she dislikes are pretty...petty stuff.

She hates when people use exits as entries and vice versa, she dislikes when people touch fruit to see if it's good enough to pick, or many other random things that are too tiny and rare that hardly ever happen, but Danielle has a whole ass list of why she doesn't like it. Damien even restrains herself from tapping her fingers over any surface when her mom is around because the sounds makes her feel uneasy.

▼ - childhood headcanon

Danielle had so much pressure on her when she was younger that she has an actual hard time to remember her younger self. After their parents knew Danna was getting wilder and wilder while growing up, Danielle became the one her family put more and more expectations on. Might it be because she was good at school or because she was ‘more mature’ than many children at her age, they tended to rely on her heavily for everything. Not only her parents, but also her aunts - the only one treating her fairly was her uncle Cedric.

It doesn’t help that her siblings and many of her cousins looked up to her when they were younger, taking in count she was the one they always came for solutions. Dwelling in this more specifically, Danna has always looked up to her twin sister in almost a devoted way, per example, and Dahlia always tried to be more like Danielle as well, even when Dani herself had a hard time handling both because of their personalities.

However, with Dara this is different. Dara has always been the most perceptive one of them all, probably thanks to a mix of her own powers and how she is, and she saw how building a pedestal higher and higher for Danielle would only make her fall harder. So Dara always took the extra effort to be more available for Dani, she avoided putting her on a pedestal and just be prepared in case she started to fall. It’s true that Dara always goes with Dani when things get hard, however she doesn’t go to her for a solution but more to be listened, which Danielle always accept and can provide her rare loving ways to make Dara feel better instead of fixing her like everyone else ask her to.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Between the stress and her genetics - thanks to her dad -, Danielle has accepted that her hair will be probably half white by the time she hits fifty. It's truly no joke, even Danna worries about how her twin has many, many, many, more white hairs than she has - which are many too, but not like Dani.

This acceptance is also a way for her to see that she's getting older, that she looks back at when she woke up by Danna's side every morning and then to the present and she can see that she's actually wiser than before...and also stronger, as much as she sometimes forgets it. She doesn't mind seeing lines in her face, Dani actually thinks they have some charm of their own as much as she knows how the ninety percent of them are due to her stressful life.

Audrey finds this not only charming but couraging, taking in count how much she suffers from the 'getting older' part of life. It helps her tremendously having an actual good example near, instead of being surrounded by things and people that didn't help at all to ease that big insecurity of her without being radical and harsh about it.

Danielle makes it seem natural, not something you worry much about, and Audrey loves that. With Billie she has the same feeling, but having Dara being the biggest counterpart sometimes annulate that effect without noticing.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Danielle is such a picky eater? It’s unbelievable, I swear to God. But you know what kind of picky eater she is? Those that always suck it up and eat the food the same, even when they hate it with all their might. And believe me when I say, that’s kind of scary, because none really know if she’s enjoying the food or not.

That’s why she’s always wary when invited somewhere for dinner or lunch in a new place, well, more than wary she’s worried. With her family is like a russian roulette, but at least she knows which dishes she likes the most, from whom - like she doesn’t like most of the food her mother cooks, but she likes her aunt Carla’s, per example - and how to avoid being called out. Danna has an on-going list of dishes she has cooked to Danielle and which she liked or absolutely despised. Dara was always mindful of tiny details, so when she invites Dani over she plays safe and cooks her favourites.

All of this actually makes it hard for Danielle to try new stuff, always sticking to her regular choices.

☼ - appearance headcanon

The blessing of the lawyers.

That's what I like to call that ability lawyers have of dressing always on point, no matter which occasion. Danielle's wardrobe is full of dressing pants, blazers, shirts - plain colours and patterned, which she loves the most -, some skirts here and there and a few dresses. And all of them fit her and combine so well that Audrey sometimes wonders if Danielle is gifted for that. And don't make me start on the shoes, because Audrey finds amusing how Danielle has many more heels, boots and shoes than her.

Which is the funniest part of Audrey thinking she's gifted, because Danielle have literally no fucking clue about fashion and mostly picks everything out based on how much she likes stuff.

And that can be seen at home, that random style showing up in sweatpants and sweaters with vibrant colours or her work out clothes. She owns plain ones, of course, but it's absolutely obvious which ones are her favourites.

Also, her favourite item of clothing are yarn sweaters. She has many in different colours and there's one that's her absolute favourite that's her father's, he gifted it to her the Christmas of the same year Damien was born and she holds it very close to her. Audrey loves to borrow Danielle's sweaters as well, the fabric too big for her but giving her an irresistible look that Danielle has grown to love, as much as they can't use many sweaters in Los Angeles. Damien deadass stole her favourite one from her mother and another one from her father and wears them any occasion she can, can be at home or going to school, it doesn't matter.

Danielle, sometimes, when she is doing laundry and sees Bastien's old sweater, she hugs it against her chest and closes her eyes, because she does miss many good days by his side.

ൠ - random headcanon

Everyone in the house knows that when Danielle has a day off or she’s at home without work or something to do, it’s her time for television.

Like Audrey and Damien have the television all by themselves always, but when Dani is in these settings? Oh heck to the no, it’s her time. And you’ll say, what in Heavens does she watch? Well, I’m gonna be honest with you, chief...Danielle absolutely loves to watch DIY programs, she’s mostly hooked up with the one where they buy castles in France and remodel the whole damn thing? Yeah, that one is her drug.

But she also loves the ones with the bride dresses. God, she’s always having fun planning how to sue everyone in those goddamned shows if it gets the bride to choose what she wants. She’s really invested though.

It’s endearing, to be honest, taking in count how she is. Dwelling on the simple and maybe stupid things it’s mostly what helps her to get going.

#danielle bishop #the originals #the originals headcanons #the originals random headcanons

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sadienita · 4 years

Text

My Friends as an Idol Group

So instead of writing real stuff I... did this. This is dumb and I’m gonna tag you all but like if this is boring don’t worry you don’t have to read it. I was bored at work and I started thinking about this and then it got really carried away. So anyway, this is 11 of my friends online here and what they would be like as an idol group I promise I am writing things I really am.

I’m just gonna put everything under the cut cuz this got way too long.

@shaylee-summerss-stuff

The oldest

Lead Dancer

Vocalist

Big sister of the group

Takes care of everyone

And they never stop teasing her

She can't catch a break

The curse of being the oldest

Also known for being cute

Fake maknae

Always has to do aegyo on variety shows and the rest of the group swoons

Even if it’s a little embarrassing

It’s absolutely precious

Has this quiet intellectual side that the fans don't always see

But when they do they really appreciate it

Very thoughtful

Very smart

Also so supportive

A lot of the members come to her when they need to talk

Everyone appreciates her so much

@cheesekimpup

Lead Vocalist

One of the group’s composers

As time goes on she has more and more composition and songwriting credits and her songs are b o p s

Grandpa of the group

I'm only half kidding

Cares about the rest of the members to death

Wants to take care of them

Also wants to sleep

Pls let her sleep

Definielty tells them the same story five times

Has said “back in my day” to the younger members

Makes stuff for the others

Gives them cute gifts

She made each of them a playlist and they all love their respective playlists

Has late night life chats with the members

So cuddly with them

A ray of sunshine

She cheers on everything that the members do and is always so happy for them

A pure cinnamon roll

@byeolbitsky

Lead rapper

Dancer

The wild child

So so chaotic

Literally so much fun on variety shows

A chaotic queen

Always so much fun to be around

Also talkative

She has so much to say and will speak her mind

Much to the company's chagrin

Doesn’t get embarrassed easily so is the most fun for challenges

She loves the others

But she will sell them all out for tasty snacks

Good food is a good motivator and hey it makes for a funnier show so it’s a win-win

Has a quiet side fans don't get to see much

But she is super caring

Her members are like family and she wants to take care of them

Will be blunt with them but always tries to be helpful

And they appreciate that she won’t sugar coat stuff too much

And will tell them what needs to be said

@gamerwoo

Lead vocalist

Sub-rapper

Songwriter

Always worried her songs won’t be any good

They are always fantastic

Lowkey queen of duality

Like when she's on stage her aura alone could kill you

And her gaze during photo shoots

She looks so intimidating when she’s intense

But she's actually the softest, shyest bean

Loves when the stylists put her in cozy sweaters

Just loves being cozy

Gets flustered easily

A lot of fun to watch in variety shows because she gets flustered and the others tease her

They make her do aegyo a lot and she dies a little on the inside every time

But everyone else loves it soooo

Can’t catch a break part 2

The others will tease and prank her just for the fun of it

She would stay made but she loves them

She really does have the biggest heart

@minghaoss

Main Rapper

Dancer

Songwriter

So sophisticated

And so intelligent

But also not afraid to speak her mind

Doesn’t let hateful comments get to her

Tells the fans to focus on being the best versions of themselves

And to be kind and open minded with each other

Man you really would be the Minghao of the group

Was the first to break out of the image the company told her to have

Knows what she’s interested in and cares about

And wants to express that

Even if it doesn’t fit her “image”

The fans love that they get to know who she really is

A little sassy

But also so loving

Will roast a member

And then immediately compliment them

So touched when the members or fans do stuff for her

She’s really soft from all the love she gets you guys

@thetypingpup

Leader

Main Dancer

Vocalist

Sub-rapper

Creates a large amount of the group’s choreo as well as participating in song writing

Killer stage presence

Very talented, hard working, and smart

Only her members truly understand how much she really does for the group

Not afraid to argue with the company and attends all the meeting about them

Her members and their well being comes first

Very outspoken and willing to speak her mind as well

She has a lot to say and a lot of interests and loves sitting and chatting with fans about them

Works herself too hard

Deserves a break

Also tries to take care of everyone

Has one of the biggest hearts ever

@bybangmin

Main Vocalist

Dancer

Songwriter and composer

The groups power vocals right here

Shocks everyone with such a deep voice coming from such a small bean

Also her d u a l i t y

Like a master of girl crush and badass

Everyone is whipped for her

But also so cute

Can easily make everyone’s heart flutter

They have made her do aegyo

She hates it and it’s embarrassing

But it’s also so so cute

Just reminds herself it’s for the fans

Can be quiet at times

But comes out of her shell more and more over time

She’s got some sass

Doesn’t want to sass anyone too much

But will roast the other members

Also a total sweetheart though

Cares about everyone

Always there to listen if you need help

Full of love

@bootyful-seventeen

Lead Vocalist

The grandma of the group

Makes people food

Takes care of them

Wants to rest but will listen to any of them talk about what they’re excited about

Also a whole meme

The one who texts the gc with memes at 3am

Has the most memey pictures of her floating around

Wants to tell dispatch fakes facts about herself just to mess with them

Sky thinks it’s a good idea

Self proclaimed bimbo

Which she brings up every time she doesn’t understand something for a game

Or breaks anything

The fans only call her that because she doesn’t it so much

But they’re so endeared to her

They love her to bits

She’s good to all of her members

Cares about them a lot and always brightens the mood

And if she can’t brighten it she’ll make it weird

Either way it always helps

@svt-mangos

Lead dancer

Has lots of choreo ideas

And slowly starts to help create group choreos more and more

And they’re bomb y’all

A mature bean even if they’re one of the youngest

Can keep a level head

And organize things well

Likes to watch the chaos

Sometimes joins in the chaos

It’s fun and when the others get up to hyjinx

How could you not join in?

Has a cool yet somfy style

But is soft

Loves the other with their whole heart

Thoughtful and creative

Lowkey good at aegyo

But gets really flustered doing it

They others keep saying how much the fans love aegyo until they give in an do it

The members will squeal and scream

The whole ordeal is worth it

Smart and excitable

Loves to share their interests

Loves to hear about other people’s interests

Basically pure sunshine

@curanonemu

Lead Rapper

Sub-vocalist

Songwriter

Gives off a really cool aura on stage

But don’t let it fool you

She’s soft on the inside

Denies it but it’s true

She’s actually precious and that’s a fact

The little shit of the group

The only reason this group doesn’t have a serious case of “maknae on top” syndrome

Loves to tease and prank the other members

Mostly Berry

A lot of the time

But is not above pranking the older members

Thinks it’s funny to tease the others

Won’t ever let them live stuff down

Will roast them

Will probably get roasted but doesn’t care it’s worth it

Very creative

Has lots of ideas about the music and the concepts

And loves getting to voice those ideas

Is thoughtful and can be level headed but can also be very excitable

Precious

@berrynx

Maknae

Lead Rapper

Dancer

Has a very cool style

Killer stage presence and tbh owns every era

Still can’t catch a break

Gets teased a lot

The others won’t let them live

They get flustered too easy

They get called cute and sweet a lot

Get babied by the whole group

Everyone loves to take care of them

The curse of having ten older siblings

Tbh everyone is actually around their finger

But they get teased too much to notice

Is made to do aegyo all the time

They’re too good at it not to make them do it

The others are lowkey protective of them

Especially the older members

They want to keep this lil bean safe

This is dumb but I need to get the thoughts out of my brain literally ignore this part if you want.

Group Name: Eclipse Fandom Name: Soleil Fandom Colours: Pantone 2627 C, Pantone 5395 C, Pantone 9101 C

Their concepts are mature, but not in the sexy sense, in the sound and overall style. Somewhat dark and mysterious. Their sound is whimsical and a little magical but dark and at times and hard hitting with meaningful lyrics.

The group is split into three subunits.

Umbra: Eros, Ellie, and Min. The more mature of the subunits. They have a dark, more badass concept, but done in a very stylized way. They tackle really difficult topics in their music and the sound is very unique and every evolving but it always retains something that sound like them

Prominence: Sammie, LJ, Rocket, and Pidge. They pull from the more whimsical but dark side of their music. Sometimes they go the direction of uplifting songs but often dip into the mystery as well. They have an overall dark style with their comebacks but it’s got an ethereal feel to it. Their music feels timeless.

Diamond Ring: Sky, Sam, Cura, and Berry. They have a very bright, fun sound. Their music is quick, upbeat, and catchy. Their songs often surround uplifting concepts and their stages are a lot of fun, with cute antics and quick lyrics that still dip into serious topics.

#i tried to put you in age order #but i dont know what year min and eros were born #so it might be off #im sorry this is so dumb #but it was also so much fun #uh i hope youre all okay with this #enjoy #or ignore lol #i just needed to create this #is this an elaborate way for me to say i stan you #yeah probably #anyways i love all of you #you brighten my life #i want the best for you all #<3 #thank you all for being my friend and being there for me #random #things i spent too long on

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lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean · 3 years

Text

La Pomme ~ Chapter Five

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 4,300

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later-and still no closer to finding MichaelDean-Jack was searching the bunker for Sam or Cas. He was having a shit day and needed to talk to someone, but so far his search was turning up empty. In fact, it seemed like the whole bunker was empty. He had a bad feeling that they'd all taken off for hunts and left without telling him. Again.

He'd just turned down the hallway along the kitchen, heading back to his room to stew, when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. His head jerked toward it and he saw someone, dressed in thick black leggings and a grey racerback tank top with a solid purple flannel button down on top, opening the door to the fridge. It was that strange blonde woman again, the one he'd seen in Sam's room weeks ago. Maybe she knew where he was?

Walking into the kitchen, he began, "Hello agai-"

"Ah!" The woman leapt about a foot in the air and whirled around to him, the fridge door slamming closed. When she saw it was just him, she placed a hand on her chest and sighed, "Damn, dude."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," He apologized. "George, right?" She nodded hesitantly and he asked, "Have you seen Sam or Castiel anywhere?"

George shrugged casually and said, "No, but I think I heard someone say Sam left last night on a rougarou run to Dunning?" More like, you know he's on a rougarou run in Dunning because you've refused to leave your room for the last few weeks if he's in the bunker. She'd successfully been able to avoid Sam since waking up in his bed. That had been dangerous territory, so she'd been taking extra precautions to avoid him, and most everyone else, since. Which made it somewhat difficult to try and track down Rowena, who, George noticed, had seemingly done nothing to try and track HER down so far. She was beyond ticked with her now.

"Oh," Jack looked crestfallen and slowly nodded his head, "Alright. Thanks."

When Jack turned to leavesee she couldn't help herself and called, "Hey, wait…" He turned back toward her reluctantly and she almost lost her nerve, you shouldn't be doing this, "Uhh… what can I do to help?" He frowned at her and she squirmed awkwardly, "Sorry, I realize you don't know me at all, but… you seem upset, so I had to ask."

He considered her for a minute and then sighed frustratedly, "Sam-and everyone else-just keeps… leaving without telling me and-"

"You keep getting left behind?" She asked sympathetically. When he gave her an annoyed look, she smiled a little, "Sorry. I was left out a lot growing up, so I know how frustrating it can feel."

Jack's shoulders slumped and he let out an annoyed huff, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Now that my powers are gone, they all treat me like a child. They don't think I can handle anything! I'm not useless, I can do things! I can hunt! Or, at least I can be taught how to hunt, but they're all too busy!"

George deep sighed empathetically and moved to sit across from him, "Jack, you're not useless... you are young, though. And that's not a bad thing! But it does mean that sometimes you aren't ready to do certain things, even when it feels like you are." The look on his face didn't change and she smirked, "I know that isn't what you want to hear. I'm sure you'll want to hear this even less, but I wish I'd had this advice when I was your age so here you go: take the opportunity to enjoy being young and carefree and protected, even when it feels frustrating. Because… trust me when I say that you're lucky to have it and it really won't last."

"How can I enjoy it when I'm so pissed all the time?" Jack whined defeatedly. He seemed amenable to her advice but didn't know where to start.

She chuckled and shrugged, "Well, when I was a lonely, angsty teen-no offense-I used music. And video games… and food," She finished with a jokingly regrettable tone. "I wouldn't take my advice on the food, though," with a small smile she patted her fluffy midsection and he smiled with her.

Jack was studying her for a minute before asking, "What kind of music?"

"Oh, only the most angsty teen pop music the early aughts could provide: Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Avril Lavigne-not the singles, the albums."

"Dean discourages pop music."

"Shocking," George muttered with a chuckle.

"What?" He asked curiously.

She shook her head, "Nothing-er-OK, so maybe not music. Have you got any video games here?"

Jack shook his head, "No."

George smirked and asked, "Let me guess, Dean discourages those too?"

Jack nodded and said, "He says it's because they'll rot my brain, but I'm pretty sure he just doesn't know how to play them and feels intimidated."

George laughed, "Yea, I would say that was probably a guarantee. The last time in his life he'd have had the luxury to play them was probably Atari?" Jack gave her a funny look. How would she know? Noticing the look she said quickly, "I mean, I assume. He just has that super old guy vibe ya know?"

Jack accepted her explanation and asked, "What kind of video games did you play?"

"Lots of different kinds. My favorite is probably N64. Those games were the best. Resident Evil, Goldeneye, Donkey Kong, Banjo Kazooie! All were personal favorites."

"Are those games still around? Can you still play them?" Jack wondered.

"If you buy all the equipment, yea? You have to get them used, probably Ebay or Gamestop or whatever."

"Gamestop?" He asked excitedly. "I know that place! There's one in town not far from here! Would they have the video games you're talking about?"

George looked confused. Why did he sound so excited all of a sudden? "Er… maybe, but-"

"Let's go!"

"WHAT?! Absolutely not."

"Please! You said video games would be a good distraction!"

"Jack, are you kidding? If Sam and Dean found out I took you out of the bunker without your powers, they'd have to stand in line behind Castiel to strangle me!"

"Please!" He begged.

She tried to be logical, "I-I don't have any money."

"Dean gave me a credit card!"

Damn. Instead she reasoned, "How would we get there?"

"I know where they keep the keys to Baby?"

Her face fell instantly and she asked, "Do you genuinely want to see me dead, Jack? If so, there are far less painful ways to accomplish that."

"Can't you drive?"

"Yes, I can drive, but there is no way we are doing this-especially not in that car. I cannot stress enough how badly this would turn out. This is literally the start of every episode! And when the bad idea goes wrong? You end up kidnapped and I end up dead!... Or worse: Winchestered!" When he just looked at her, confused, she said simply, "Jack, I'm sorry, but it's really not a good idea for us to leave the bunker. I can't fight, like, at all. If we got into a hairy situation, I couldn't do anything to protect you!"

He ignored her and kept begging, "George, please! You said that I needed to appreciate the opportunity to be young and to enjoy my time stuck here, so! Help me! We can take someone else with us, someone who can protect us both?"

Frowning at the desperate expression on his young, naive, baby face, she started considering it. I mean, if we took someone with us who knew how to fight it couldn't be that bad of an idea right? We could be in and out! Suddenly, every episode of Supernatural flooded her brain at once and she winced, shaking her head, "I'm sorry, but no, Jack. There is no one here that I would trust to be able to protect you enough to agree to do this."

"What about me?" Both of their necks snapped toward the doorway and found Sam standing there with an amused smile on his gorgeous, bearded face.

Whoa. George's jaw dropped. If she'd known he'd been growing that, she wouldn't have been avoiding him so hard. She was definitely feeling some kinda way about that beard.

"Sam!" Jack said nervously. "We were ju-"

"Planning to sneak out the window past curfew and go buy video games?" Sam shook his head with a couple teasing tsks and George couldn't help but chuckle.

Jack frowned, looking over at her and then back to Sam, "No... there aren't any windows in the bunker? We were just going to take one of the cars from the garage and drive there."

"No. We weren't!" George stood up and pointed a finger at him adamantly, "We weren't going to do anything that involved leaving or driving Baby or risking your life in any way!"

"Well, whatever you were doing," Sam interjected calmly and firmly, taking a step into the room, "I actually don't think it's a bad idea."

Jack leapt up excitedly, "Really?!" George echoed his excited 'really' with a surprised one of her own.

"Yeah. I know these last few weeks have been hard on you and if it'll help relieve some of the frustration and boredom, then," Sam paused, mulling it over before nodding, "why not?"

"Thanks, Sam!" Jack looked at George with an excited expression and she couldn't help but smile nervously at him.

"You're welcome," Sam smiled kindly, then added, "But I need a shower first. Give me 30 minutes?"

Jack nodded happily and then scurried off to wait, Sam slapping a hand on his back gently as he exited. When Sam turned back to George, she looked nervous still.

With a gulp, she asked, "Thought you were in Dunning?" Damn if he didn't look hot with that beard.

"Another team got there first. Didn't need the help after all," He explained. "You been checking on me?" He asked curiously.

Her mouth dropped open and she sputtered out a quick and pointed, "No!" giving him an offended expression, though the blush was hard to miss. She found his face frustratingly unreadable. Worried that he might be annoyed about their scheming, she tried to relax a bit and cleared her throat, "Listen, I'm really sorry. I was just trying to cheer him up; I never expected him to get the idea to leave the bunker. And-and, I never would have-"

"It's OK, you don't have to explain," Sam assured her, "I heard you guys talking. I know it was him. He has a tendency to get an idea and run with it; it's exhausting sometimes," He chortled, rubbing a tired hand over his face and she smiled understandingly.

George had a realization and frowned, asking, "Er… exactly how long were you listening?"

"Hmm, I got here right around…" He closed one eye in mock contemplation and finished with a smirk, "Avril Lavigne?"

George rolled her eyes in embarrassment and said, "OK, hold on. Listen, I'm not saying the singles! The albums have good stuff, very different from what the record company tried to force her singles to be. You have to hear the album before you judge, Sam! And I was a teenager!"

He chuckled and held his hands up. Despite the grin on his face he managed a serious tone, "Hey, I'm no hater boi."

Pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes tightly, she muttered, "Ugh, Christ."

She heard him practically giggle and then say, "I'm sure it's complicated."

"Cool. Well, I'm just going to go ahead and leave now," George said pointedly, glaring at him playfully. He laughed, watching her head for the exit. She paused at the doorway to pat him on the shoulder roughly, "Let you get ready for your Father-Son bonding time."

"Hold up, you're coming with us, right?" Sam asked, suddenly looking concerned.

George, who was out in the hallway by now, turned back with a surprised expression and shrugged, "No?"

Sam gave her a look of impatience, "How will we know what to get?"

"Uh… I can make you a list?"

"What if we can't find something?"

"Congratulations, you just discovered what sales associates are for!" She cracked, smirking at his impish questioning. He knew darn well that they did not need her to go.

Sam narrowed his eyes at her stubbornness and finally pointed out, "I think Jack would like you to come."

Suddenly her expression was dubious and she said, "I doubt that. He barely knows me, we just met. Or-sort of," She blushed suddenly remembering the reason she'd been avoiding Sam in the first place. The memory of waking up in his bed conjured up in her mindseye in an instant. With a swallow, she insisted, "He just needed an adult to take him to the store and you're here now, so-"

Sam cut her off gently, "Listen, I heard most of that conversation. You were connecting with him, George. Making him feel better, which I can tell you from experience is not easy to do. I could be wrong here, but I think this is something he would like to share with you." There was a nervous, maybe even panicked expression on her face and she didn't respond.

Sam took a few steps into the hallway to stand in front of her and smiled charmingly, admitting, "And, I would like it if you came, too."

She furrowed her brow at him suspiciously, her heart beating faster all of a sudden, "You would?"

Sam nodded, "Yea. Do you know how long I've been checking my corners for beautiful women?" When her jaw dropped satisfyingly, he looked at his watch and said, "So, thirty minutes, right? More like twenty five now, I better hurry!" then walked briskly away with a wink.

Blinking rapidly, she stood there staring dumbfounded into the now empty hallway. Since when was Sam Mr. Smooth with the lines around here?!

After being frozen in place for too long, she looked up at the ceiling again and said, "OK, seriously, if anyone is recording this, I'll give you whatever you want for a copy of that, too!"

Then, shaking herself out of her stupor she panicked. She's supposed to be staying away from these people, not joining them on outings! What was she thinking? This was such a bad idea.

George sat in her tiny room of requirement, mulling over her options.

Option one, "Don't Fuck Up the Timeline," was to make an excuse and stay behind, avoiding people at all costs from now on. No more making friends with the sad little half-angels! And certainly no more thinking about Sam's beard.

Option two, "Sam's Beard (working title)," was taking advantage of a once in a lifetime opportunity by tagging along on this risky misadventure and enjoying herself.

On one hand she knew from watching shows exactly like this that screwing with a timeline could have disastrous results. But, on the other hand, it sounded like fun. And she'd been cooped up in this bunker for weeks! Plus, Sam said he wanted her to go. How could she say no to that bea-to him?

With a frustrated growl she launched herself up off the bed and stomped out of the room. She knew what she had to do.

George nervously walked up to Sam's bedroom door. You just have to tell him: you can't go. Period. Maybe Jack will be disappointed but… he'll get over it! You can't be messing around with the storylines; God knows what ramifications it could have! God knows what you've already fucked up by interacting with them! You have to stay away!

But… Did it kinda seem like Sam liked her…? Like, like-liked her. At the very least she was getting serious DTF vibes, and it was making her positively gooey. She definitely didn't remember him being so… forward on the show. Wasn't he the shy one? Either way, it was incredibly attractive. And with that damn beard? Her loins were on fire. She always knew he'd look amazing with some facial hair.

Ugh, stop it! You're being r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s. Sam Winchester. Does not. Like you! You have to keep your distance and wait for Rowena to send you back. You're risking messing with the entire fabric of the Supernatural universe and, in turn, your own! And you call yourself a fan, you should be ashamed. What is wrong with you?

Then again, you did wake up in his bed… The thought made her heart skip a beat and her head pound with frustration. As curious as she was, she knew it was dangerous territory to explore. With a deep, calming breath, she knocked herself on the forehead sharply a couple times before reaching up and knocking on his door next.

When it opened a few moments later, she was face to chest with the gorgeous giant, who was currently dressed in dark jeans and a grey, short-sleeved, v-neck undershirt. She guessed she'd interrupted him before he'd had a chance to throw on his trademark plaid on top. It was a disconcerting look, one she wasn't used to from him; almost like seeing him naked.

Oh, please don't go there.

Slowly, she looked up and her mouth went dry. His beautiful hair was still wet from the shower and slicked back out of his face. The scruffy beard was still there, too; praise Jesus.

When she met his eye, there was a happy, curious expression on his face. He reached a muscled arm up and looked at his watch, asking "Am I late? I'm almost rea-"

"Nono, no. You aren't late." Cutting him off gently, she shook her head, "I just came to give you this," she held out a piece of paper to him, which he took with a raised brow. "And to say that, as much as I'd like to, I can't go with you. It's just... safer that way," She finished vaguely.

"Safer?"

She nodded definitively, trying to sound firm without getting specific, "Yes, safer. Too many things could go wrong."

"At Gamestop?" He smirked suspiciously.

George narrowed her eyes and thought about it for a moment. Of course, she'd meant 'on Supernatural' but she obviously couldn't tell him that so she nodded slowly, "Right… at Gamestop. Sure… I mean, they'll let any riff raff in there."

Sam looked down at the list of video game supplies, amused yet confused. When he looked back at her face he said, half smiling, "OK… well, not to sound full-of-myself, but I think I can handle any potential 'riff raff'."

"I-I know, I know!" She placed a fingertip on either side of her forehead and squeezed. Good lord. OK, just stay focused. Do. Not. Go. "I have no doubt that you're very willing and able to handle things." She eyed his large arms appreciatively and then cleared her throat, "It's just… um, you just never know what could happen-especially here," his eyebrow furrowed curiously at the emphasis, "er-I mean, at Gamestop. And if-God forbid-anything did happen and my presence somehow… negatively affected things… like your ability to protect Jack-er, uh..." The curiously amused expression he was giving her was causing her to stumble. She took another deep breath and refocused: "This is supposed to be a fun experience for Jack, right? I just think it's important that that's the focus. That list is everything you'll need for him to get set up. If they don't have the games I listed," she pointed to the list in his hands and he looked down at it again, "there are plenty of others that I'm sure the workers can recommend."

Sam started to talk and she caved, cutting him off again, "And-and if this is really something he wanted me to be part of-which I'm still dubious about-then, I'll be here when you guys get back! I can help get him set up and show him a few of the games. I don't mind that, I... guess," She finished with a small gulp. She knew it was best to stay away completely but she had a feeling it was a little too late now. "I just don't think leaving the bunker is a good idea. For me. Please." She finally met his eye and pleaded a little, "Sam, if anything happened to him or to-to you, I could never forgive myself." And neither would hundreds of thousands of fans.

Sam's expression was half curious, half amused, and all charmed. He thought for a moment, looked back down at the list, and then nodded slowly. His smile was kind as he said, "OK. If you feel that strongly about it, then stay."

"Thank you." She let out a relieved sigh, then grimaced a bit.

"You OK?" Sam asked with a concerned half-smile.

"I just… I know staying back is the right thing, but I feel bad." She admitted with a small shrug. "Do you really think Jack is going to be disappointed?"

Sam's eyes softened and he shrugged softly before turning and walking back into his room. As he picked up a green and black checkered plaid shirt that was laying on his bed and put it on, he said, "I think so, a little bit, but I can handle it. Not to worry." As he buttoned the shirt, he slipped his feet into his giant shoes.

He'd been about to say something about his personal disappointment at her staying-something he'd hoped would make her jaw drop adorably once again. But her eyes were roving his room with a pensive expression and it caused him to pause. He raised an eyebrow, watching her. Something about her had seemed vaguely familiar since he first saw her in that hallway. Yet, he still couldn't place her, which bothered him; it was unusual for him not to remember a name with a face. He had a great memory.

Is she someone we helped on a hunt? Maybe she went to Stanford? Did we… have a fling at some point? Nothing was jogging his memory, but he felt strangely, intimately drawn to her.

"George, can I ask… Ha-have we met before?" Narrowing his eyes in thought he added, "Did you go to Stanford? Maybe we shared a class?"

George looked at him like he was crazy, "Uh… er… Uh, see, I'm not-" As she stuttered out a response, he kicked himself.

She's from Apocalypse World! Moron. Obviously, it wasn't possible that they'd met before.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry. What a stupid question." Sam shook his head, chuckling in embarrassment. "You just… you look familiar, so I was just trying to figure out the connection," He trailed off, staring at her curiously again.

"Oh?" Was all she could muster, squirming uncomfortably under his gaze. She was horribly embarrassed to admit even to herself that she felt a strong pull from him, too. Something about him put her at ease while simultaneously making her want to burst into a million happy pieces and cover the world in a confetti of her joy and love. Hell, something about being here at all eased all her normal feelings of depression and unrest so wonderfully, she'd hardly put that much effort into tracking Rowena down at all, not that she'd admit that to anyone. But, obviously, the only reason she felt like this was just the amazement, the adventure, the celebrity of it all, and especially him. She knew there was no way in this universe they'd ever met; the last thing she needed was him taking an interest either way.

Swallowing any further conversation she might have been tempted to engage in, she began to step back from his doorway slowly but said quickly, "Yea, ya know, people tell me I have one of those faces. Anyway, tell Jack I'm really sorry and to have fun. I can come find you in a bit to see what ya'll come back with?" Just before turning and fleeing she said, "Oh, and make sure to get a couple extra controllers. Those are always the first to break, especially when you're just starting."

Before he could stop her, she left down the hallway and turned a corner. He almost went after her but then couldn't think of a valid reason. She wasn't coming and Jack was waiting for him. So, he grabbed his gun, collected the keys, and hoped it wouldn't be another three weeks before he saw her again.

#sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester #sam winchester fanfic #sam winchester x original character #sam winchester x original female character #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #eventual fluff #eventual romance #humor #swearing #eventual smut #sam winchester series #eventual dean winchester x oc #eventual dean winchester x castiel

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dopescotlandwarrior · 5 years

Text

Bluegrass-Chapter Five

A special thanks to @statell for all your help and never saying no

Previous chapters at AO3

Chapter Five

The next two visits to Highland Brothers were a little easier. The colt knew the only game Claire liked was racing so he complied happily, always trotting around her triumphantly. Claire made it clear she did not like to lose because she never got the sugar cube. You only win because you have four legs and I have only two. To be fair, I will start running over there. She had an image of running from a position up-track and told him she would win because he couldn’t catch up to her. He threw his head in the air.

Claire looked at Jamie’s hiding place and called to Nick for some help. He came running, ready to do her bidding.

Please hold him here until I get in position. When you see me run, let him go. She touched the colt’s cheek and taunted him, then she ran to her starting place. Nick could hardly hold the colt because he was ready to go. Claire started to run thinking over and over how much she wanted to win. When Nick let the colt go, he almost fainted at his speed and agility. He changed leads around the turn and then he was off like a rocket blowing by Claire as if it was no effort at all.

Jamie stood up quickly, forgetting he was crouched low in the back of the equipment shed, hitting his head on the low ceiling. He saw stars but it didn’t keep him from running out to the colt to layer on the love. Claire and Nick walked away to talk about the next step and Jamie put the colt away.

Jamie glanced at his watch, knowing he should head for home to be ready to leave on time. He was escorting Isobel to one of her charity events tonight, but he would rather walk over hot coals. He decided five minutes to celebrate wouldn’t hurt. He went to join Nick and Claire.

“Jesus Jamie, what happened to your head?”

By the concerned look on Nick’s face, Jamie touched his head pulling a bloody hand away. Claire pulled his arm toward her truck and dropped the tailgate giving him a seat while she cleaned the wound.

“My professional opinion is that you need three stitches, maybe four. Do you want me to do it?”

“I’d be grateful lass; I have to attend a function tonight and I’m already late.”

“I worked up quite a sweat racing your goofy colt, so I might not smell fresh as a budding rose.”

Molly grabbed the suture materials Claire asked for and stood on Jamie’s side to hold his hair back. It was the best experience of her life she decided.

Jamie found Claire’s hands to be cool and soothing on his scalp. She moved around to the front of him standing between his knees putting him at eye level with her breasts, it was difficult to look at anything else.

“Do ye ride Sassenach?”

“I used to show hunter jumpers, but not for the last couple of years. I decided to give all my attention to starting my practice, so no hobbies allowed.”

Jamie looked at her hips and wanted to wrap his hands around them before pulling her closer.

“Alright Mister Fraser, all done. I’m sure you don’t want a bandage on your head for your function, so I covered the wound with powder for now. When you get home, put a regular bandage over it for the next three days.”

“Thank ye Sassenach, I’m grateful. Put it on yer wee bill for today.”

“This is a free one since it isn’t legal for me to treat humans.” She gave him a radiant smile and giggled.

Jamie cursed himself for being an idiot, thinking of the doctor in lustful ways. He left quickly to face an impatient Isobel. Every minute spent with Claire, he thought more and more of her. She was a calm and nurturing port in the storm and whatever her gift was, she was using it for good, his good at the moment. As much as he liked her, he now had a comparison for Isobel which would work against him in the days to come.

The yearlings were getting their ground training before the next big step, carrying a rider. The handlers would take the colt to the artificial gate and load him, walk him in and out of trailers, put the bridal and saddle on and off, on and off. Most days he was obedient and followed the handlers lead, but when he saw Claire, he lifted his head trying to see where she went. Some days he would whinny loudly and if there was enough extra lead he would try to rear while he whinnied.

Jamie asked his handler to turn the colt out in the training arena if Claire was there. The handler complied and left the colt in the ring and walked away. He continued to whinny for Claire but what Jamie found astounding is he stood on the starting line for their previous races, or as close as he remembered. He didn’t budge from that spot. He wanted to race.

Again, Nick held him while Claire found her starting point on the rail. It was much farther up so he would have to bust out to beat her. She had primed him with her taunting and emotion to win while Nick struggled to hold him. When Claire took off, so did the colt, flying by her in a blur of bulging butt muscles. Claire stopped, panting for breath and looked around for Jamie who was running from his hiding place. The colt reared up on his hind legs and Claire heard his juvenile ha-haha-ha-ha. She hugged the winner and told him he would be the greatest of all if he just ran fast.

While Molly was willing Jamie to hurt himself so she could touch him again; he, Nick, and Claire were almost speechless in their huddle. Nick was quick to remind them it was too early to pin high hopes on the unpredictable colt and then asked Claire if she knew how to ride.

“Well, that makes two of you to ask me that question. Suppose you tell me what you are thinking?”

“He might refuse to carry anyone but you.”

“A jockey? Me? Don’t be ridiculous Nick. I jumped show horses, that is all. I don’t know the first thing about riding a race.”

“You’re right, sorry, just getting carried away by the speed of that horse.”

Claire chuckled about that comment all the way home and told Molly about it later. Chad heard all about the comments over dinner. The way he looked at her made her stop talking.

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“Jealousy. Forgive me Claire.”

“Jealousy of what exactly?”

“That Jamie has bred a runner and that he spends three afternoons with you each week. I’m not sure which makes me more jealous.”

He smiled at her with the humility that always melted her heart, however, this was not the first time she felt his words were incongruous with his actions. This was the third date they shared, and his kisses had not produced any observable heat with either of them. They chatted more like friends than potential lovers and he always had her home early. Claire felt a bit cheated. She was ready to share her life with someone who cared about her and this was disappointing as Chad seemed to have no desire to deepen things between them. It wasn’t fair she decided as they walked to her door. He kissed her and she went inside without a word.

Molly heard Claire crying and could not ignore the sounds, so she tapped on her door. Claire answered with a wet face, hair in her eyes, looking miserable.

“What’s wrong Claire?”

“Sorry to disturb you, Molly, I’m being immature and a cry baby because Chad doesn’t like me very much. Why is that, do you think? Haven’t I tried to get cleaned up for our dates and be ready on time? What makes me so hard to like?”

Molly looked at her friend wondering how to answer. It seemed plain as the mole on the end of someone’s nose, but Claire couldn’t see it.

“You always look beautiful Claire but it’s not you, ya know? It’s him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”

Claire stared at her like she just declared the earth flat, which was preposterous, but it would explain a lot. She pondered and started crying again.

“Why go out with me th…”

Claire was suddenly quiet. She was finding it hard to breathe as her heart pounded and her body filled with fear. What had she done? Telling Chad about the colt? How would this hurt Jamie?

“I’ve done something terrible Molly. I’ve told Chad about the colt, given information that was only Jamie’s to give. Christ, what have I done?”

She reached a shaking hand for her phone only to have Molly pull it away before she could click to engage the call.

“It’s one-thirty in the morning. Do you really want to wake him up with this? Honestly, Claire, I cannot imagine how this could do any damage. Just pull him aside and talk to him tomorrow, you’ll see.”

Claire looked more relaxed when Molly went to bed. In truth, she barely slept worrying she was complicit in leaking secret information. By the time they rolled into Highland Brothers, Claire was a basket case.

She asked Jamie for some private time. Between that request and the dark circles under eyes, Jamie feared she would have to leave the colt. He was rocked by that thought and it took all his strength not to question her reason for leaving. When they were out of earshot from anyone she lost her battle to remain tear-free and like a dam breaking she was sobbing, saying how sorry she was, asking for forgiveness, not a word of which could be understood by Jamie. He finally grabbed her in a hug and promised to help with whatever it was.

As Claire felt him wrap around her, she felt like the fourth of July inside with sparklers firing away in very specific parts of her body. The crying stopped abruptly because these feelings eclipsed all others, including remorse over her perfidious behavior. Claire wiped her face and looked at Jamie, showing a brave face, she announced the secrets she revealed to Chad and how humiliated she was that he targeted her for that reason.

Jamie listened until she was completely spent, and her eyes lowered to the ground. He was flaming mad at the brute Chad for taking her on a useless quest for information. What angered him the most was the dent this created in her self-esteem, a demotion of how important she was to the world. He could see how crushed she was.

“So ye liked Chad did ye?”

She just nodded her head no.

“I don’t understand then.”

She looked up like he had lost his marbles or maybe he didn’t hear her perfect pronunciation that the British were famous for.

“He tricked me into talking about the colt. I was so proud of him and how fast he was and..”

When the crying started anew Jamie didn’t wait to wrap her in his hug again but his time he was giggling. When she tried to protest his humor, he let her go before she kicked him for being so dense, but he was still laughing.

“I do not understand what you find so funny Mister Fraser.”

“So now I’m Mister Fraser? I’m sorry lass but ye gave no trade secrets away. The whole world knows I have a prospect this year, maybe two, one is mentally damaged and the other doesna run as fast. So I have to work for it. I canna tell ye why Chad wanted information he could’a googled but ye gave nothin away.”

“I am very relieved and I’ll go now, thank you for telling me that.”

With that, she turned on her heel and started walking back. The alarm bells were ringing in Jamie’s head again as he caught up to her and held her arm to stop. His humor gone; he searched her face with a serious demeanor that made her stop breathing for a moment.

“Ye gonna run out on him lass? I know how much ye’ve done for him and now you abandon him?”

Claire was incredulous as she attempted several sentences that ended in mere sputtering. She had that look again like she was talking to the dim-witted.

“Suppose I help ye with the truth of it. I use twitter to update the progress on the colt, every day, and I would yell it from rooftops if I could reach more people. He defines my life, my breeding program, my commitment to the sport and it’s my opportunity to tell the whole world that I have a prospect. So, first thing we do is pull yer guilt out and throw it away. I have faith ye can do this, I need ye to do this. Second, you need to look honestly at this mentally damaged colt and know that wi’out your support he will’na run. He needs ye, I need ye, I will double your anticipated earnings for the next four months if ye dedicate your time to him. Please Sassenach, consider stayin, dinna leave.”

For all the effort Jamie put into losing his Highland bur it always came back when he was stressed. He took a breath and waited, watching her closely.

“Alright Mister Fraser, I’m staying and you have first dibs on my time during the week. And thank you for restoring my… everything. God, I feel so much better.”

Jamie watched her walk away and felt the residual from his physical contact with her. Keep yer distance laddie, he thought and walked to catch up with her.

The morning of the big change was upon the colt. He could feel it and looked for Jamie for reassurance. New yearlings were arriving for training and the energy was palpable. As long as he heard Jamie’s voice, he remained calm, but it didn’t take much to set him off. Claire arrived to groom him and tell him what was happening. She hummed a song as she worked and noticed the colt relaxing into her reassurance. For the next two weeks, the yearlings, now ten of them, would begin rider training. Each day getting closer to running under a jockey, each day learning new things that would get them closer to long races, cheering fans, and the sport they were bred for.

The colt hated the saddle and girth and was annoyed with being lunged all day every day. He pitched a fit a few times and the handler waited for it to end before cracking the whip in the air to keep him going. Claire stood by him for the really hard parts, like putting the bit in his mouth, a full saddle on his back, and people laying across the saddle as he moved. He wanted desperately to race her in the arena, but that bit of fun seemed long gone. She would hum and show him images of racing twenty horses with a jockey on his back. He felt the excitement of such a contest and seemed to accept the changes, the tack, bit and lunging daily, waiting for the day he would race them all.

Each day Claire would bath him after all that work, and he loved the feel of the slippery soap as she hummed. Jamie would come to lay love on him for his efforts and help Claire scrub and then walk him until dry. The three of them seemed happy and excited, but both Jamie and Claire were waging war on the absurd attraction they had to the other.

The day came when the handlers became riders and the colt was attached to the lunge line in full tack easily moving through the gates like he was supposed to. When he was pulled in to the handler. Claire took one side of his bit, a handler on the other side and suddenly there was someone on his back with legs around his middle. That lasted all of ten seconds before he said HELL NO the way horses say such things. The rider was launched from his bucking and three successive attempts ended the same way.

Claire held his face and was very clear this behavior would not be tolerated. This was the only way he could race the others and show the world how fast he was. Like a stubborn child he refused.

Nick and Jamie were watching the progress of all the horses particularly the colt. Nick was laughing as he shook his head.

“It looks like she is scolding him and he is arguing back, look at that!”

“Well, I suspect that is exactly what is happening and so far the colt is winning.”

When three other handlers landed on their bums Claire called time out to grab her things and left without acknowledging the colt. On her way out she walked past Jamie and suggested he go home for a couple hours. They both needed to vanish for the rest of the day and show the colt no support for his behavior. She found Molly asleep on the seat of her truck and woke her gently to drive home. Molly shook the cobwebs from her head and started the truck while Claire collected messages and then routed her to a nearby farm that had a mare foaling.

Jamie drove the back road toward home and couldn’t believe his disappointment over losing his private time with Claire later. He wondered what her afternoon was like just as he did most evenings after she left.

He stopped his truck and recklessly sent her a text message before he continued home.

Claire pulled her phone out and felt dizzy from a simple message from Jamie. ‘I miss talkin with ye today,’ was all it said but from her reaction, he could have told her his compound just burned to the ground. She exhaled and closed her eyes for a few seconds. This crush on Jamie was getting ridiculous. Molly was coming back with a liter of fluids for the mare and caught Claire’s reaction to the message.

“What’s wrong?”

“Not a thing in the world youngster, let’s get this dam’s labor started again, shall we?”

Molly was quiet on the way home tipping her hand that something difficult was about to be said. Claire worked on her files and waited.

“Do you talk to the colt, and does he answer you? What does he say? Do you think he’ll run with a jockey on him? How much longer does he have to get it before his races start?”

She opened her mouth to continue the questioning and Claire held up her hand.

“Yes, he does talk to me although it’s been mostly arguing for the past week. Yes, I talk to him, mostly arguing back about his duty and expectations. I hope he finally stops resisting the rider. It’s absolutely crucial to start the next phase of training. If he doesn’t, he won’t start with the others. He has one more week. Did I get them all?”

Molly laughed at her and asked if she needed help with the notes before Claire started firing questions about the treatments over the past week. By the time they were home, the files were done, and Molly was not making a move to open her door.

“Claire we start your driver training tonight, we still have a couple of hours of daylight left so let’s take advantage of it.”

“What on earth are you talking about Molly.”

“I want you to lend me to another vet until your obligation to the colt is done. I hope like hell you want me back when you go back to the practice.”

“Why, where is this coming from?”

Molly looked right at the woman she admired most in the world and chose her words carefully.

“I am being paid to sleep in the truck all day and I can’t do it anymore. I am not your responsibility and I would rather work.”

Molly was blushing from this difficult admission and it made Claire aware of how hard it was to be completely dependent on another person. She smiled at Molly and agreed to find her an internship with another vet and then she refused the driving lesson. She tried to exit the vehicle and felt Molly’s hand hold her back.

“No I don’t want to drive, thank you anyway.”

“How will you get to Jamie’s every day? You have to drive or this can’t work and I will sleep in my car until you agree, so c’mon.”

Molly got out and opened Claire’s door giving her no alternative but to climb in behind the wheel and shake from fear of sneaky trees appearing at both bumpers trapping her. Molly was pleasantly enjoying the breeze that blew through the open windows showing no discomfort at waiting for Claire. Inside she was an earthquake fearing her aggressive stance on the matter had offended her boss. She heard the engine start and exhaled the breath she was holding.

They stuck to the dirt roads for this first lesson. Nothing Molly said would get the vehicle moving faster than five miles per hour. The sun was setting and Claire was yawning wanting a shower more than anything in the world, Molly watched her discomfort and used it to encourage some speed.

“You are doing so great Claire! You see the end of this roadway down there? If you maintain a speed of thirty miles per hour and don’t cheat, I will drive us home and we are done for tod…”

The truck lurched forward and sped down the road at an impressive thirty-five miles per hour. Molly smiled brightly and clapped for the brave Claire as she traded places and drove them home. In truth, Claire would have risked running into a tree to have a shower and threw caution to the wind.

Later she laid in bed and read Jamie’s text again and again before falling asleep, exhausted.

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

Text

Best Part of Me -Chapter 57

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @ocfairygodmother

Even with five children under the age of six, she can’t remember the last time she experienced this level, this particular brand, of exhaustion. Not even when caring for infant twins and a one year old or during the most difficult pregnancies that came with numerous complications, more than a handful of legitimate scares, and eventually complete bed rest. Not even the three years that had followed Tyler’s initial return to the game, which saw her practically raising three little ones alone while he devoted every waking moment to Nik and whatever job she brought his way; hostility and anger quickly building and joining the ranks with profound stress and worry. Even then she hadn’t felt like this; the seemingly chronic brain fog, body running on autopilot while simply going through the motions of everyday life. So tired that she actually can’t sleep; her body ready to give in and surrender completely, yet her mind running on all cylinders. So many things running through her already troubled and worried brain. The last minute questioning of if she is doing the right thing for her children and if everything needed is packed away in the staggering amount of suitcases cluttering the living room. Is her sanity going to survive not only travelling with that many kids? And will she be able to keep them happy and occupied and oblivious to all the drama and chaos once they get there? There’s no telling how long they’ll spend in Mumbai. It could be just a few days. It could turn into a few weeks. It may even stretch into a month of two. It all depends on just how smoothly things will actually go. There’s no such thing as an easy, uncomplicated job. Each one is dangerous and unpredictable in their own way. And with someone like Mahajan serving as agitator, the stakes have never been higher. Money and influence go a long way. As does intimidation. And he has plenty of all three.

Tanner stirs in his sleep; a handful of quiet whimpers and heavy sighs and tiny sniffles. He’d had a rough day both at school and upon his return home; dissolving into tears at the drop of a dime, complaining about both stomach and headaches, turning down even his preferred activities and favorite foods. Not even Saju and his puppy antics and cuddles with Mac who refused to leave his side had done the trick. Not even the slightest of smiles playing on his face when his twin brother and older sister did their best to try and cheer him up. He’d been his worst at bedtime; crying for nearly half an hour in the darkened room, until his sobs became so powerful that they actually made him throw up. After giving him a bath and getting him into fresh pyjamas, she’d taken him to bed with her. His mood improving slightly at the idea of being able to sleep in the big bed with her and being able to use his dad’s pillow, yet refusing to settle until he was allowed to wear one of Tyler’s hoodies. The garment miles too large, but effectively soothing him when the zipper was pulled up as high as it could go and the hood over his head.

He’d quickly fallen asleep after that, comforter by the familiar smell clinging to the sweater and the warmth provided by both it and his mother’s body. Laying on his side with an arm across her chest and his head in an awkward spot on her upper arm; hand falling asleep a long time ago, and the accompanying -and almost painful- pins and needles serving as yet another thing preventing her from finding rest. Even with his baby face and smooth, flawless features, Tanner looks even younger in his sleep. Smaller, even. Seeming much more fragile and vulnerable than she knows he actually is. He’s the tinier of the two boys, but far tougher than he’s ever given any credit for. So sick, fragile, and weak when he’d been born that none of the doctors or nurses had thought he’d ever make it out of the NICU alive; even given her and Tyler numbers for social workers and bereavement counsellors and contact information for funeral homes that were considered the best at handling babies and their grieving, distraught parents. It had come as quite the surprise to all of the naysayers when he’d fought back as hard he had; released from the hospital a month and a half later without any of the long term and life alternating complications they’d been told he’d have.

Now he’s the healthiest of all the kids. Barely getting even a runny nose or an ear infection let alone something more serious like the flu. He’s not a big kid; not nearly as tall or as heavy as his twin. But he’s a strong one. And she watches him as he sleeps; lips slightly parted, impossibly long, dark eyelashes skimming the tops of pale, smooth cheeks, those wayward locks of hair -the exact ones his father has when sporting that same haircut- falling across his forehead. So pure and so innocent; so many deep and powerful emotions existing in such a little body. And when she reaches across her body with her free arm and uses gentle fingertips to push his hair from his face, he gives a long, shaky sigh and his hand grabs a hold of her t-shirt; fist tightly gripping the fabric.

“Mommy…” Tanner whimpers, lips curving into his infamous pout.

“It’s okay, baby boy.” Her voice barely above a whisper as she combs her fingers through his hair and presses a kiss to his sweaty brow, each eye, and then the bridge of his nose. “I’m right here. Mommy’s right here.”

“Don’t leave,” he pleads. “Don’t leave too.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Esme assures him. “I’m staying right here with you. But can you do me a solid and lift up for a second? You’re on my arm and can’t feel my fingers anymore.”

His eyes are still closed as he sits up; groggily swaying from side to side. And she breathes a sigh of relief when she’s finally able to pull her arm free. “Daddy falls asleep on that same arm all the time,” she says, as he settles down next to her once more, this time in a fetal position with his butt pressed into her side. “You’re awfully heavy for a little guy.”

“I’m not little,” Tanner protests.

“To me you are. You’ll always be little to me.”

“I’m strong.”

“Yes, you are. Very strong. Like your daddy. You’re both very, very strong.”

“One day I’ll have big muscles too.”

“One day. But not for a long while. I don’t want you growing up that fast. I want you to stay little for a while longer, okay?”

“Okay, mommy,” he sleepily agrees, then yawns noisily.

“Now go back to sleep,” she gently orders, rolling over onto her side and wrapping an arm around that slender frame when he wiggles closer to her; always needing the security of touching her in some way. “It's late and we have a long day tomorrow.”

Tanner slips over onto his side to face her; blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight that streams through the windows. “I wanna see daddy.”

“You’ll see daddy as soon as he can come and see you. I know you miss; I miss him too. But what he’s doing...the people he’s helping...it’s very, very. VERY important and he can’t just drop everything to come and see us. Even if he DOES want to.”

“He wants to see us?”

“Of course he does. He’s not staying away because he wants to. It’s because he HAS to.”

“Are the people he’s helping more important than us?”

“Baby boy, no one is more important to daddy than us. Everything he does is for you and your brothers and your sisters. And me. You’re little right now and it doesn’t make much sense, I know. But daddy loves you so much. More than else in the world.”

“Even more than surfing and vegemite?”

“Even more than those.”

He manages a small smile. “That’s a lot. He loves me THAT much?”

“There are no words to even describe how much he loves you. If you tried to count how much, you wouldn’t be able to because you’d run out of the numbers; none of them go THAT high. And you remember what he told you? About how it was his idea that we go to India?”

Tanner nods.

“It was his idea because he wanted us to be closer to him and not so far away. Because he would worry about us THAT much. Everything your daddy does is for you. For all of us. It’s hard to understand when you’re little.”

He’s silent as he considers her words, fingers fidgeting with the pendant around her neck. “He’s going after bad guys, yeah?”

“There’s a few bad guys he needs to take care of,” Esme confirms.

“Is he going to die?”

“Why would you ask that? Why would he die?”

“He almost died. Before I was born. Before you found out Millie was in your tummy.”

“That’s a long time ago.”

“But it still happened. He still almost died.”

“But he didn’t. And that’s what matters. Is that what you’re afraid of?”

Tanner nods, lower lip and chin wobbling as tears sparkle in his eyes. “I don’t want daddy to die. I’d miss him so much. And he said he wasn’t ever going to go away again and he did. So what if he dies this time?”

“Tanner...come here…” She gathers him into both arms, pressing kisses to his forehead and his cheeks and his lips. “Daddy’s very strong and he’s very smart. Way smarter than the bad guys. He’s going to be fine. He may get some bumps and bruises and maybe some stitches and a broken bone or two, but he’s going to be okay. He’s tough, right?”

“He’s the toughest.”

“That’s right. He is. But he’s also very smart and very careful. Especially knowing that he has you guys to come home to. And there’s no one else in the world that you can trust like you can trust daddy. He’s the person I trust.”

“I trust him. And you. ‘Cause you’re mommy and no one loves me like you do. When I was a baby and I was sick, you used to stay at the hospital with me.”

“You were really tiny then,” Esme muses. “Like Addie. Well, no one is tinier than Addie. But you were a wee, little baby. How do you know I was there?”

“Daddy told me. He said you wouldn’t leave me there by myself. So he stayed home and took care of Millie and Teej and you stayed at the hospital to boss the doctors around.”

She laughs. “Is that what daddy said? That I bossed the doctors around?”

“He said that you’re tough and you’re like a momma bear and no one crosses a momma bear when it comes to her babies. And you made the doctors and nurses take care of me properly and that’s why I’m here. ‘Cause you wouldn’t let them give up on me.”

“No. I wouldn’t. And you’re here for MANY reasons. Because you’re tough and you’re strong and you’re smart and loving and so damn cute.”:

Tanner giggles when she covers his face with kisses.

“And you’re meant to be here,” she adds. “Just like daddy is. Which is why he didn’t die and why he won’t die this time either. So don’t ever worry about that, okay? Nothing can stop daddy from coming home to you guys. Nothing. Trust me. I’ve known him for a long time.”

“Like a hundred years?”

“Okay, maybe not that long.”

“Fifty?”

“Just how old do you think I am, young man?”

“Not as old as daddy.”

“You are so lucky you said that,” she places a noisy kiss on his forehead, and he once again dissolves into giggles when she tickles his sides and tummy. “Do you want to try and sleep in your own bed again?”

“I wanna stay here with you. So you won’t be sad and lonely either. I know you get sad when daddy’s gone. So I’ll stay with you to make sure you don’t cry.”

“You have such a big, good heart. I want you to close your eyes and try and sleep, alright? We have a very busy day tomorrow. An exciting day. Can you do that for me? Try and sleep?”

Tanner nods.

“That’s my boy.” She kisses her forehead once more, then pulls him even tighter against her. Gently combing her fingers through his hair until she finally hears his breathing soften and even out and feels his body relax against hers.

****

It’s eight in the evening in Mumbai when he calls home. Hesitating at first; it’s after midnight in Australia and their flight for India leaves at seven in the morning. It won’t be an easy trip to make with five kids in tow; even with Kyle helping and being able to travel by one of Anil’s chartered jets instead of a commercial airline. But his earlier promises to Millie that he’d call her mother had been somewhat waylaid when a two hour workout in the hotel gym had been followed by a long, hot shower and a two hour nap. Only woken up by Yaz pounding on the door; a bag of take out food in one hand and a carry tray of drinks in the other. It felt good to hang out with him again. Sharing tales of old jobs both dangerous and relatively smooth and easy, laughing over the rare lighthearted and humorous times, even shedding a couple of tears for all the friends and colleagues that they’d lost during their years in the game. And then the talk turned to marriage and kids and Yaz’ fears and worries about becoming a father and time seemed to get away from them far too easily.

He calls her cell instead of the landline; less chance of waking either Kyle or the kids or sending Mac -with his bizarre gear of the ringer on the phone- into a frenzy. And she answers on the third ring, voice quiet and tone calm and even, but sounding very much awake.

“Someone should be asleep,” Tyler teases, as he relaxes in the middle of the bed, back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him.

“Someone was supposed to call hours ago,” Esme playfully retorts. “Are you okay? Is everything alright? What time is it there?”

“Only eight. And yeah, everything’s fine. I’m good. Time just got away from me. Worked out for a bit, fell asleep, Yaz showed up and we hung out and got talking. I wouldn’t have called so late, but…”

“I don’t care how late you call. As long as I get to talk to you. Hear your voice. Are you sure you’re okay? Nik called earlier and told me about the shit show that went down. That you almost throat punched Koen.”

“I didn’t even come close to throat punching him.”

“But you wanted to, by the sounds of it.”

“Well if you hadn’t have told him to babysit me…”

“First off, it’s not babysitting. It’s keeping an eye on you. Making sure you keep your head in the game and not fall back into old habits and bad patterns. And I know you know what I’m talking about. You admitted yourself you were slipping and if you’re alone, it WILL happen. And I know it’s the last thing you want; going back to the way things were. Drinking, the pain meds.”

“I’m not THAT weak. At least not as weak as you think I am.”

“I don’t think you’re weak. I think you’re stressed. I think you’re anxious. And when all that mixes together and the PTSD kicks off, the result is not good. I’m worried about you. And it makes me less stressed if I know someone is keeping an eye on you. I’m trying to hold it together too, you know. And it helps if I know you’re okay and that there’s someone that cares about you like I do.”

“I don’t need him up my ass twenty four hours a day. You’re not up my ass twenty four hours a day.”

“I agree that maybe he’s going a little overboard and he’s been a little protective.”

“A little?”

“But he’s your oldest friend and he’s seen you at your worst and he doesn’t want you going back to that,” Esme reasons. “And I trust him. Because I need you to be okay and come home to me and the kid and if I know he’s watching out for you…”

“You act like I don’t know what I’m doing. Like I’ve never done any of this before. I was into this long before you came along.”

“And long before I came along, you were an alcoholic addicted to pain meds and you were maybe a week away from killing yourself. I asked him to keep an eye on you because I love you, you insufferable, stubborn, pain in my ass. You are the strongest, toughest person I know. But even tough, strong people can break and I don’t want that happening to you. And I also don’t want to fight. Especially over this. And you can’t tell me you just called to fight. It’s like we can make up in our favourite way.”

“Of course I didn’t call to fight.”

“Then just accept that this is an argument you won’t win. I do what I do because I love you. Because I want you to keep your head on straight and you shit done so we aren’t stuck in Mumbai forever. So we just call it a day and come home and go on with our lives. And I know that’s what you want too.”

“What I really want is to be home right now,” Tyler says. “With you. With my kids. And not even worrying about all of this shit. That’s what I really want.”

“Trust me, that’s what I want too. There’s nothing in this world I want more than that. Well, except for that thing you do with your tongue.”

He grins. “What thing? There’s about two dozen. You gotta narrow it down.”

“You know which one. Besides, I can’t go into too much detail. Phone sex is off the table for tonight, sorry. I’m not alone.”

“Which one of the five?”

“Tanner. And two dogs. No wonder I can’t sleep. Both the dogs and the kid snore almost as bad as you do. And he pouts like you do. EXACTLY like you.”

“I don’t pout.”

“Yes, you do. I’ll even take a picture of him and send it to you. He’s doing it right now. In his sleep. It’s so cute. HE’S so cute. He’s looking more and more like you every day. You’re both so cute.”

“I’m going to let you have that.”

“You ARE cute,” she insists. “In your own way. You have your cute moments. He’s starting to sound like you, too. His accent is stronger than Millie’s and TJ’s put together.”

“Is he alright?”

“He had a rough day at school. The teacher said he was distracted and emotional. It didn’t get any better when he got home. Just crying at the drop of a hat, nothing cheering him up. He made himself sick he was crying so hard at bed time. He’s having a hard time. He misses you. We all do. But him most of all.”

“I remember when he practically didn’t even bother with me,” Tyler recalls. “Like he forgot he had two parents.”

“He’s always been a momma’s boy. Since he was a baby. But you saw him after New Zealand; when you came back. You saw how he feels about you; how much he loves you. And he’s so sensitive, Tyler. And he feels and loves so hard core. He’s so much like you. More than either of us realize.”

“I fucking hate that he’s going through this. That he has to deal with it all. Crying until he makes himself sick? Because of me? And you wonder why I think I’m selfish for bringing kids into this? That’s why. You think I want him feeling that way over me? He’s five. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe this is a sign you’re doing things right as a dad?” Esme counters. “That your child loves you THIS much? That he misses you like he does?”

“But he shouldn’t have to suffer like this. He’s a little kid.”

“He’s not suffering. He just has a lot of emotions inside that little body of his. He loves you. He loves being with you. When you were a kid and your dad left for even a couple of hours, were you sad or were you relieved?”

Tyler frowns. “What does that...?"

“Did you cry over him? Or were you happy he was gone?”

“Happy. He was a fucking dick, you know that.”

“Well your son is miserable when you leave. Because he loves you with everything that’s inside of him. He misses his daddy. Because he loves when you’re around and he loves all of the things you do together and all the ways you make him smile and laugh and make him feel loved right back. I hate him seeing him so worked up, too. But don’t think it’s an amazing thing that your child loves you THAT much? Or would you rather he not give a shit whether you’re here or not?”

“I’d rather he not have to deal with this shit at all.”

“But we ARE dealing with it. And we’re dealing with it as a family. Doesn’t this prove to you that you’re doing it right? That you’re NOT screwing them up? That’s you’re an amazing daddy and they love you and worship you. I mean, your Millie’s entire world. If that doesn’t make you realize that you’re a good dad, I don’t know what ever will.”

A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “You know what…?”

“What, Tyler James? What possible argument could you have to topple me?”

“I love you. So much. And you keep me sane when I think I’m fucking losing it.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Esme assures him. “Just rely on your gut. Your instincts. Those two have never, ever wrong. I mean, your gut told you to still go along with Nik’s Dhaka plan even AFTER you were told you had to be ‘pretend married’ to a mess like me. I think listening to your gut worked out pretty damn well for you.”

“Yeah,” he grins. “It did. I’m glad I went along with it. No matter how stupid it sounded.”

“The best thing I ever did was let her talk me into that job. Everything should have been telling me NOT to do it. That it was going to be a big mess.”

“Well it did kind of turn into a big mess. At the end, anyway.”

“But we made it through. And we got a beautiful out of Dhaka. If there ever was a silver lining, Millie’s it. She made the bracelet by the way; to match yours. She wouldn’t go to bed until she made it. There’s no one earth she lives the way she loves you. I guess she takes after me in that respect. I feel the same way about you. No one else on earth the way I love you, either.”

“If you’re trying to make me cry, you’re doing a pretty good job.”

“I’m not exactly trying, but you’re beautiful when you cry. You’re a beautiful crier.”

“You’re a little off the reservation, you know that? Are you okay? You’re feeling good about all of this?”

“As good as I can, I guess. I’m holding it together. Mostly for the kids. And for you. And this whole thing with Nik…”

“I wanted someone there with you,” Tyler explains. “When it comes to the job, there’s no one I trust like I trust her.”

“It was a good call,” Esme says. “I trust her, too. At least when it comes to that. And she seems sincere; about wanting to patch things up and be friends again. I just don’t know if I can do that. Trust her in THAT way. Look how far she was willing to go to fuck things up between us. I don’t know if I can forgive her for all of that. Can you?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Her shit caused a lot of fucking damage. And it could have been a lot worse if either of us were weaker people.”

“I want to trust her. I even want to forgive her. But when someone is continuously trying to get your husband to cheat on you and she goes to lengths she did to make it happen…”

“But I didn’t. Cheat on you. I never have. I never will.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust, and you know that. And some of the things she said? Even when I was pregnant with Millie? Even the night before we got married? That was hurtful shit. It never...ever...should have been questioned if Millie was yours. And it’s been six years and sometimes I still think Nik feels that way.”

“I don’t know how she can. Look at the kid. It’s pretty damn obvious she’s mine.”

“That shit hurt,” Esme continues. “Everything she did hurt. And I can trust her to keep us safe, but I sure as hell can’t trust her around you. And if that makes me an insecure, possessive, overprotective wife…”

“I know how to say no,” Tyler reminds her.

“You’re not the problem and you know that. I’m just not ready to trust her that way yet. And I hope you can understand if I never can.”

“Baby, I always have your back. It’s a strictly business relationship. That’s it. We’ll keep it that way with Nik as long as you want us too. But I want her there at the house with you and the kids. Because it would be a huge weight off my shoulders if I didn’t have to worry so much about you guys. So if you could at least try and be a bit friendly…”

“Can you kiss and make up with Koen if I promise to?”

“You’ve seen him. You think I really want to kiss that face?”

“He’s only worried about you. He doesn’t know ‘job you’ like I do. I know you can handle it by yourself. He doesn’t. So cut him some slack, okay? He’s your friend. He loves you. He just wants you to keep it together.”

“Esme, I’m fine. I don’t need him constantly up my ass. Especially when I’m trying to get shit done. I know what I’m doing.”

“I know you do. But he doesn’t know THAT Tyler. He’s never been around him, So give him a break; he means well.”

“If I cut him some slack, you do the same with Nik?”

“I already said I would. And I appreciate her even offering to help you or even agreeing to come keep an eye on us. Are you really okay?”

“A little better today. I’m homesick.”

“I never thought I’d actually hear you admit that out loud.”

“There’s a lot of things I don’t say out loud that I should,” he says. “Never been able to swallow all my pride, I guess. But I love you. So much. And I’m sorry; for every time I hurt you or broke a promise or I made you feel like the job was more important than you. I know I’ve been a shit husband a lot of the time.”

“No. You haven’t. We just went through some bad times,” Esme reasons. But we got through them, right? Every single one. Hey, we’re the ones that are still together. Remember when everyone thought we wouldn’t get past the first year, never mind six?”

“I’m pretty glad you showed up on my front porch that day.”

“I’m pretty glad I lost all my common sense when Nik told me about the job and I actually went along with it. I know you think you’ve done a lot of things wrong, Tyler. That you don’t see yourself the way I do. But my life would totally suck without you in it. I should be pissed off at you for knocking me up in Dhaka, but I think it worked out for the best.”

“Yeah,” he grins. “So do I.”

“Hang on for a second. Someone is awake. And by someone I mean your son.”

“Let me talk to him. Maybe he’ll feel better if I do.”

“Okay,” she says. “Hang on.”

There’s a slight rustling as the phone is passed from one person to the other, followed by whispered conversation between mother and son.

“Who is it?” Tanner sleepily inquires.

“Someone who wants to talk to you,” Esme replies. “Say hello and find out.”

“Who dis?” The five year old asks, and Tyler can hear his wife both laugh and gently scold their son.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Daddy!” It comes out as a choked sob. “Daddy, I miss you!”

Emotion chokes at him, and he swallows noisily and blinks back his own tears. “I miss you, too. What’s going on? Mommy says you’re having a hard time. Wanna tell me about it?”

“I’m just really sad that you’re gone. And you won’t be there when we get to India. Why can’t you be there to see us? Why won’t you come and say ‘hi’ at least?”

“I wish I could, mate. But there’s reasons I can’t. Because I have to stay away for a little bit.”

“Are you sick? Is that why? Are you sick and you don’t want us to get sick?”

“Naw, I’m not sick. There’s just some things going on I can’t tell you about. And I wish I could tell you about them, but it’s adult stuff. You don’t need to know those things.”

“Adult stuff with the bad guys?”

“Exactly.”

“Why can’t you just beat them up and then come see us after? You could do it. You could beat them up and then come right away to visit.”

“It doesn’t work that way. I need to stay away for a little bit. Just a few days. And then I’ll come and see you guys. I’m not staying away because I want to. It’s because I need to. Because it’s what’s best for you and your brothers and sisters and your mom.”

“But you want to see us, right?”

“Of course I do, mate. I didn’t want to leave. I HAD to leave. I’d never leave you unless I had to. You believe me, right?”

“I believe you.”

“You don’t need to worry so much. I’m fine. Nothing’s going to happen to me. And in a few days I’m going to show up to see you and you’re going to see that for yourself. But right now, I need you to be strong, okay? For your mom. She needs you to be strong. Because she’s pretty lonely and she’s pretty sad and I need you to cheer her up.”

Tanner sniffles. “How?”

“I don’t know. Whatever way you can. Tell her she’s pretty. As often as you can. Tell her you love her. That she’s the best mom in the whole world.”

“She is. She IS the best mom in the world. And the prettiest.”

Tyler grins. “We’re pretty lucky, yeah? That she’s so pretty and she’s the best mom and wife in the whole world?”

“Yeah. We are.”

“I need you to get some sleep. It’s a long way to India and I don’t want you being grumpy and giving your mom a hard time. And once guy guys are here, I can call more often. No more time difference. You tell our mom I said to call me as soon as you guys are here, so I know you’re safe.”

“I will. I love you, daddy.”

“I love you, too mate. So much. Now go to sleep and let me talk to your mom again. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. You be good.”

“You be good too,” Tanner says. “Give the bad guys shit.”

He can’t help but chuckle. “I will.”

“I think he’ll be okay now,” Esme says when she gets back onto the phone. “He’s smiling again, at least. And he’s wearing one of your hoodies. The brown Emery one. He looks so cute in it. I’ll send you a picture of that, too. We always say TJ is your mini me, but with the hair and now wearing your clothes, I think Tanner is taking over. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I always am when I talk to you.”

“And tomorrow’s the day?” she asks. “Everything starts?”

“My part at least,” Tyler sighs. “I’ve got two guys to take care of. In the morning.”

“At the same time”

“Yep. In an elevator.”

“Intriguing if not a little worrisome. Do you know how you’re going to do it? You can’t really walk into an elevator and start shooting. Or wearing a vest. They’ll see that for sure and know something is up. You are going to wear a vest, right?”

“Under my shirt. Hoodie over that. Doubt they’ll be paying enough attention to notice it. But you’re right; definitely won’t be able to just go in shooting. I’ve got it all figured out. Should go okay. Good thing is they won’t expect it, and we’re in a tight space so they can’t run.”

“And that means you can’t get away either if you need to. Please be careful, Tyler. I know you’ve done this hundreds of times, but it doesn’t mean I won’t worry. I know you can do it. I’ve seen what you can do. Still…”

“I’ve got it under control, baby. I promise. You need to get some sleep. Gonna be a long day.”

“Still wish you could be there when we arrive. Maybe I’ll just go ahead and keep my fingers crossed that you’ll somehow manage it.”

“Stranger things HAVE happened,” he reasons.

“Yeah. Tell me about it. I got with the likes of you,” Esme teases.

“Now THAT’S cold.”

“You know I love you. And I miss you and can’t wait to see you. Be careful tomorrow. Be safe.”

“I will,” he assures her. “Call as soon as you get to India. So I know you guys are okay. I’ll see you when I see you.”

“You definitely will. I love you, Tyler.”

“I love you too, Esme. I always have. Always will.”

“So you say. I bet you’re still going to trade me in for two thirty year olds when you turn sixty, though.”

“Never,” he grins. “I’m trading you in for three twenty year olds.”

“You wish,” she laughs. “Talk soon.”

“Very soon,” he promises, and then disconnects the call.

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fic #Tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

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