#she will absolutely eat em alive in this look

[ladyofvoss]

GUNSLINGER

[fairyboygenius]

everywhere, everything

simon “ghost” riley x original female character

a/n: hi guys! i’m so excited to start this fic. allie is so??? one of my favorite ocs i’ve ever made, to be honest. she’s just perfect to me i fear. her and simon are gonna be so hhhhh anyways enjoy the fic!

no warnings for this chapter except for simon acknowledging he’s a little weirdo and implications to the fact that graves fucking sucks

fic under the cut love u mwah

Time isn’t real anymore, Allie’s decided. How could it be? After a transatlantic flight, plus a train ride through the English countryside, the world seemed fuzzier, cool breeze almost soothing her to sleep.

“Look alive, Bishop,” Kate Laswell gently chided, bumping Allie’s elbow with her own. “We’re almost there.”

Allie bit her lip, the words “are we there yet?” on the tip of her tongue. It’s nowhere near professional to whine to your soon-to-be boss about the journey she took for you. No matter if you’ve known that boss for seven years and been through absolute hell together. After a certain point, professionalism dissipates.

“You said that after the plane. And after we got lost in the Underground. And after King’s Cross. ‘Almost’ implies a degree of soonness.” Allie knew she was being unnecessarily literal. Jet lag wore away any pretense and spoons to mask.

Kate shook her head, a smile creeping at her features. “Eat your dinner.”

“Yes, mom.” Allie sipped her water, putting her headphones back on to try to enjoy the train food. Kate huffed, a fond-yet-annoyed expression on her face.

“Lola doesn’t seem to mind the long ride.” Kate laughed as the black lab nudged her hand, tail thumping restlessly against Allie’s leg. “You’re being a good girl, aren’t you?”

Allie ran an absentminded hand over Lola’s head, giving her a quick scratch between the ears. “You sure they’ll be okay having her on base?”

“She’s your service dog. Not like they can say no.”

“They can, actually. I looked it up. Even though I’m in a non-combat role, she can be removed-“

“-If there’s reasonable threat to your or her life,” Kate finished, giving her a comforting smile. “No one’s gonna take her away from you when you’re doing your medic duties. You need Lo to do your job and do your job well. Everyone’s getting briefed about it right now. If anyone gives you hell about it, you come to me.”

Allie nodded. “You know I’m not good with confrontation.”

“But I am.” Kate smiled. “Those boys shouldn’t give you hell- half of ‘em would probably meet the criteria for a diagnosis themselves. If you need space, unless you are actively doing surgery or in a literal war zone, you have permission to go to your room and take a breather. Anyone fights you on this, you can come to me. Got it?”

Allie nodded again, leaning her head against the train window. Lola rested her head on her human’s thigh, and Allie stroked her head absentmindedly. Letting the feeling of Lola’s fur between her fingers ground her.

Kate sighed, taking her other hand. “I know things didn’t go well for you with the Shadow Company, and everything with Philip…”

“Can we not bring him up?” Allie winced, sipping more water. “He’s dead. It’s in the past for me now. And I don’t really want to talk anymore, if that’s alright.”

Kate nodded, content as Allie put her headphones on and closed her eyes. The twinge of maternal concern on her face disappeared soon after, and she turned back to her book as they inched closer and closer to base.

“Captain, a fifth member o’ the team? We’re not enough of a headache for ye?”

Price shook his head, rolling his eyes fondly. The three of them sat in front of him, on the overstuffed common room couch. Johnny was twirling a pen between his fingers, Kyle couldn’t really keep his eyes off his phone, and Simon… well, Simon was just staring into space.

It had been an okay day for him, so far. A good workout, above average meals. Paperwork seemed less burdensome, or maybe his brain was finally embracing the distraction it provided. The scars from his recent mission in Russia were healing well.

Then Price had called them in.

“Lads… calm down.” Price was massaging his temples. Clearly, Johnny had forgotten to take his meds that morning. “She’s gonna be our resident medic- and yes, it’s a bird, the fraternization rules still apply.” He took a drag from his cigar. “Laswell sent over a whole presentation on ‘er. They’ve known each other for a while, apparently.”

“We’ve got a whole medbay, can’t we pluck one of them to be a 141 specialist?” Kyle leaned back on his elbows. “No offense to her.”

“Laswell would like to introduce a new person. The hope is for you to bond with her because she’ll be living on the 141 floor, participating in workouts and team bonding and she’ll be going on missions with us. We’ve noticed that you lot tend to put off medic visits or not go to the medbay when you need to, so having an on-team medic will hopefully reduce the amount of bigger health problems that spiral from you lot ignoring smaller ones.”

“You’re just as bad as the rest of us about that,” Simon scoffed.

Price grumbled. “Guess this is for me too, then.”

“So tell us about ‘er.” Soap leaned forward slightly, looking up at the screen. “What’s her name?”

Price clicked to the next slide. A picture popped up- a redhead, body luxurious and full, a black labrador puppy on her lap. Her smile was a bit shy, brown eyes shining as the puppy licks the side of her face. Simon’s eyes traced over her features, across her broad shoulders and collarbone, down over her breasts- the black tank top she’s wearing in the picture has a low neckline- and to where the photo ends, her bare thighs crossed as she sits. He swallowed. Shit.

“This is Lieutenant Allison Bishop- she goes by Allie,” Price said. “Laswell’s known her since she was 19, when she graduated basic. She is autistic and struggles with loud noises, so she likely will have some form of hearing protection on when we’re in the field. The puppy is Lola, who’s now Allie’s service dog- she’ll travel with us, and has her own hearing protection. Allie’s getting her own room, obviously, and bathroom, but she’ll share schedules and meal times. When we’re in mission-specific training, she’ll be working in the medbay and helping out where they need it. We can’t hog her forever.”

Like hell we can’t, Simon thought.

“Can we pet the dog?” Gaz looked so excited, Simon could almost sense the mood shift. Price sighed.

“Afraid that’s a negative,” their captain said. “Lola is working when she’s with Allie, and unless Allie gives you explicit permission to, you can’t pet her.”

“Pet Allie or Lola?” Simon can’t resist asking.

Price groaned. “Neither without the explicit permission of Allie.”

“So when’s she gettin’ here?”

“She’s on the train from London to Hereford with Laswell as we speak. She’ll be probably be all moved in and ready to work by tomorrow morning.” Price sighed. “From what Laswell said, she’s not exactly the most outgoing person around new people, so she may get overwhelmed and be kind of closed off at first. It may take her a bit to really warm up to us besides just simple kind professionalism.”

“Oi, Cap’n, dinnae worry about tha’.” Soap grinned. “We can be whatever she needs.” He winked, and Gaz faked a gag. Simon just groaned, reaching up to rub his own temples.

“Oh, real mature,” he grumbled. “We dismissed?”

Price nods. “Behave, lads. I’ll see you muppets at breakfast.”

They walked out of the common room together, headed towards the hallway that stored all their rooms. It would be an early night- a luxury, Simon was well aware, not often afforded on the field. He was fully ready to settle in with a book and a glass of bourbon when he saw the sign on the door next to his.

Welcome, Lieutenant Bishop!

Fuck. He was gonna stay away from her, give her some space to accommodate to the new environment first before making his move. It’d be the nice thing to do, after all- let ‘er settle in, get into a routine, hopefully not scare her off with his whole… thing. (He’s nothing if not self aware.)

But if she was right there… they’d be running into each other in the hallways. He could probably walk her back and forth from their rooms, seeing as she wouldn’t know her way around the base. Maybe even invite her in for a cuppa, or a drink if they clicked… not that Simon was any more competent at social interactions. Especially not with beautiful women.

Beautiful women who he couldn’t be with, no matter how much he wanted to be.

He flopped back onto his bed, letting out a long huff. Fine, he’d be civil. Not necessarily nice, but civil. He’d just have to hope that she’d be charmed by his unsettling gazes and grunts… somehow.

Fuck.

[ashironie]

spoilers for tmagp ep 12. im making this on tuesday then relistening and adding more thursday.

i’ll be doing 2 in front of every thought i had on my second listen

Alex doing the title card? maybe a norris case? mayhaps?

2 Is getting of in relation to the bonzo lap dance turned dismemberment?

oh god.. first ep without a transcript… what the actual fuck are they saying

2 Oh thank god i have the transcript… sam actually got some rizz

celia and sam in the off room? i assume that’s why it’s so FUCKING ECHOY

2 Panting? man this guy is out of shape

2 awwww i kinda heard this part my first listen through </3. Alice unrequitedly loves Sam and Sam unrequitedly love Celia who unrequitedly loves Lena who unrequitedly loves Gwen who unrequitedly loves Alice (i don’t ship half these but it is funny to joke about imo)

2 SAM IS SUCH A CHARMER I NO LONGER WANT HIM TO DIE FIRST (sorry colin, looks like your up, and so is your time)

awwww, celam fans are gonna eat good with this one

my headphones are also broke so i can’t hear jack

ALICE YAY!!!!

2 something about alice makes tmagp 10x more understandable

aw but you love him for it :7

SHE IS JEALOUS!!!

he is so not over the institute, sam and alice are alike like that, he’s not over tmi she’s not over him

awwww alice stop being such a pessimist! like please do say it, i want sam to get out of this bullshit alive as much as you but like… yk

2 OH MY GOD “im sure celia would just love that” SALT IN THE WOUND SAM SALT IN THE WOUND!!! SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU IDIOT DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR CRUSH IN FRONT OF HER!!!!

NORRIS!!! I WAS RIGHT!

norris sounds so robotic, i think i even heard him skip a bit. it’s either jonny is too much of a theater kid, or this is actually important to the lore. norris being less human, sounding less emotive, maybe a bit sad? hm? maybe a bit lonely?

2 the skip is on the words “Policy Number: 548651-656” and on “2024” or more specifically the numbers, which isn’t important in don’t think, but really does remind me of tts

fraud?? ooooooOooooOOOOooooo

ha “acting in good faith”

2 love the way Alex says dickheads, it’s so specific and so pointed

hey i know what a stag is!! i watch a british bitch give one to a 70yo! (its a bachelor(ette) party, im pretty sure)

a lunch box? OH MY GOD BONZO! IS IT BONZO OH MY GOD BONZO?

2 don’t you DARE insult my dear dear comic sans

YES BONZO!!! MR BONZOS ON HIS WAY HE WANTS TO STAY HE WANT TO PLAY!!!

wait why does lena want him murdered?

YES IT WONT TURN OFF!!!

wait cheer?

ew, i hate bonzo

ew…

HUG IT WHY ARE YOU HUGGING IT?

ohhhhh it looks not bad

JOEYS BOOTS????

OH MY GOD IS THAT WHO LENA WANTS DEAD?

OR THAT GUY WHOS STAG IT IS

2 “Just then the googly eyes turned to me,” im sorry but that will never not be funny. i am both disgusted by bonzo and think everything he does is hilarious.

oh god

ewwwwww

WHY ARE THEY LAUGHING? oh they didn’t know

wow dude i feel like that’s overkill bonbon

dut do

why is this SO visiral?

2 ugghhh i love the voice acting

His teeth are not soft

alex saying “bonzo…? bonzo bonzo?” is absolutely hilarious (although i don’t think it can top jonny’s “baaaaa”)

“none of us were left whole” WOW DUDE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKIN HAND?

AW SHIT

YEAH SUE EM! SUE EM TO HELL!

GWEN!

HAHA ALICE YES

AHHHH DYHARD MOMENT DYHARD MOMENT!!!

ALICE WAS SERIOUS!!!!

ALICE IS TRYING TO COMFORT GWEN AWWWWWWWW!!!

SERIOUS TALK!

THAT LITTLE GWEN LAUGH!!!!!

I WAS SO SCARED WE WOULDNT SEE GWEN

awww gwen getting her hopes up that alice isn’t fucking with her, so cute

YES!

[ips-northstar-official]

So... It's the person from the hypothetical thing about the Balor. Here's the whole thing, as it is.

See, I'd just got done with a job along with my Lance: Things were great, I wound up seeing what happens when a Balor literally pulls itself back together from a front-row seat (spoiler alert: It was fucking awesome), and I wound up getting enough cash to do some... Acquisitions.

So! I decided to stop by a black-market scrapyard I knew about: Odd spot ran by an unshackled NHP everyone calls "Mamaw": She heard the term on an out-of-the-way planet, liked it, and decided to use it as an alias. Lotta people dump mechs that are too junked-out, expensive, or time-consuming to repair there: Wear-and-tear from a death-world, too much damage from a job gone horribly wrong, used for something horrible by a rich ass-hat... You name it, Mamaw's got it lying around there for resale and trade.

It's like a Flea Market for mech parts!

... And also maybe ship parts butlet'snottalkabouthat-

ANYWAYS. Stopped by to say "Hi!", ask around about any good deals, and she'd told me that she had pretty much just gotten in a Blackbeard from some salvage crews. I was interested, so she guided me to it.

When I tell you this mech was fucked, I mean it was Capital-F FUCKED. Missing a leg and both arms, any armor was molten slag, wiring was shredded, the works. According to Mamaw, somebody had let their Sekhmet-Class off the hook, ejected, and just ran away. Left 'em behind to fight while they fled for the hills.

The mech got damaged enough that the Sekhmet-Class couldn't move an inch more, and after the battle the Salvage teams moved in to do their job. So, imagine their surprise when the wreck they go to grab starts swearing the air blue at them. Just... Absolutely laying into them. Insults that I could not repeat in polite company, according to Mamaw. They tossed the whole mech off to her, she got the Sekhmet outta there with some conversation and offers of therapy, and everybody turned out pretty alright. She's apparently a very good underground fighter now.

Where was I? Ah, right! The Balor eating the Blackbeard.

So! I'm sitting there haggling the price with Mamaw, and she's making sure to get a good list of what I want off of the BB. Mid-conversation, she trails off while looking over my shoulder after we've finally got the price figured up and paid. I turn around, and my Balor's just... Eating the Blackbeard.

Greywash fully in effect, swarming the wreckage: It was like watching a swarm of locusts pull apart a 3-D puzzle. They'd find the weld-seams and bolts, pull 'em apart like a damn surgeon, pulled the whole chunks into the swarm, and then go back for seconds and thirds.

Weirdest part was, the Balor seemed almost... Gentle, as it worked. Held the parts it was pulling in almost reverently, and when the Blackbeard was down to just the framework and wiring, it picked it up and... hugged it. Held it, like a close friend instead of a meal.

And as it ate, it just got... Bigger. Went from standing with plenty of room in the warehouse we were sifting through to scraping the ceiling. And then...

VRRP. No more Blackbeard.

I turned back around to Mamaw, and she seemed pensive about the whole thing for a moment or two before she started smiling.

"A good eating young-'un, there. You take good care of them, you hear me?"

Well. I couldn't help but agree.

So, yeah: That's how my Balor hypothetically ate a Blackbeard. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see somebody with a hypothetical Goblin to work on some hypothetical VPN-work. TTFN!

Ok so I’ve got corporate distracted for a bit so I can post this because letting this be my sole spoils of war here would be unfair to everyone on the Omninet

Also I’m gonna kick this down the road back to @horus-unofficial to please explain to me what’s going on with that Balor

That kinda sounds like it’s alive

Anyways back to standard corpro-posting love you guys

—the intern

[doc-pickles]

old friends, new adventures (nico hischier x emilia hess)

from the unless it’s you universe

Here’s my promised fic! I’ve been out of town so that’s why it’s late but I hope y’all enjoy it.

xoxo nina

“mama do we have any snacks?”

the door of the hischier house flew open as nina bounded through the door, quickly followed by a brunette.

“in the pantry,” katja replied as she smiled at the two girls. “hello emilia. good to see you around here.”

“thanks mrs. h,” emilia smiled as she caught the bag of chips nina threw her. her eyes darted to nico who sat at the kitchen table working on homework. “hello to you too nico.”

the twelve year old looked up from his papers before rolling his eyes and turning back to his work, “hi emi.”

“nico be nice to our guest,” katja scolded from her place by the stove.

“hello emilia how are you today? wonderful weather we’re having. say did you catch the game last night? riveting stuff.”

nina and emilia both burst out laughing and nico spared a smirk in emilia’s direction. their eyes met for a second before nina called her away, the two girls quickly leaving the kitchen.

“I wish you’d be nicer to emilia,” katja huffed as she made dinner. “you never know, someday you two might-“

“absolutely not,” nico cringed as he turned toward his mom. “you can marry her off to luca.”

with an eye roll katja smirked at her youngest son, “she would eat him alive. finish your homework.”

+

“right there! no not- shit nico if you break my easel you’re paying for it!”

“you say that like i don’t have the money to do that,” nico grunted as he placed the aforementioned easel in the corner of emilia’s apartment. “there?”

“perfect,” emilia sighed and flopped onto the couch that was still covered in plastic. “thanks for helping me, I appreciate it.”

“no problem,” nico grinned as he pushed another cardboard box towards the couch before flopping down next to emilia. “are you excited for your new job?”

emilia nodded and opened the box in front of them, stacking the books inside next to the couch, “kohler price is a huge publishing house which means i’ll get to work on more diverse projects. there’s only so many grimm’s fairytales that you can redraw before it starts to get repetitive.”

nico’s deep laugh echoed through the apartment as he pulled a book out of the box and inspected the cover. it’s about rapunzel, a young girl with long golden hair flowing across the cover with flowers blooming around her. the illustration is breathtaking, nico grinning at emilia’s name scrawled across the bottom of the cover as the illustrator.

“well you’re very talented,” nico held up the book as if it showed proof of his words. “but I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”

pulling another box toward him nico watched as emilia blushed deeply, busying herself with organizing the books onto her shelves in the corner, “it’s just nice to be out in the world and ready to explore you know? I mean you travel all the time for work.”

“yeah canada in the middle of winter is thrilling,” nico huffed with a smile as he opened the box in front of him. “nothing quite like freezing to death in-“

emilia looked up from her spot by the shelves and yelped as she dove on top of the box nico had opened. their eyes met and before she could say anything nico collapsed into a fit of laughter as her face turned an embarrassingly bright shade of red.

“stop! I didn’t think you’d be opening the box when I packed it,” emilia shrieked as she pushed the box into the corner of the living room.

“and you decided to pack your sex toys right on top?” nico huffed out as a wide grin spread across his face. “jesus how many are in there em? surely you don’t need all of them.”

“they all do different things,” emilia scoffed and nico raised his brows. “i’m not explaining vibrators to you hischier. some of us don’t have girls throwing themselves at our feet because we can hit a puck with a stick.”

“I do not-“

“don’t even try to correct me,” emilia smiled as she carried the box to her bedroom then came back. “when I went to that game last week every other girl I saw had your jersey on. not to mention the amount of screaming when you skated out.”

emilia grinned widely as a deep red colored nico’s cheeks. satisfaction buzzing under her skin she went to pour two glasses of red wine for them before returning to the living room.

“to your new adventure,” nico raised his glass with a smile as emilia rolled her eyes is mock exasperation. “and to old friends.”

“to old friends and new adventures,” emilia smirked as they clinked glasses.

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Random HB headcanons / thoughts I guess

(tw for some sexual mentions and cursing )

Mammon fucking HATES jingle bell rock

Asmodeus sending fizz "send this to someone you love!" Type of videos and fizz sends shit like this

Just the thought that asmodeus ( the embodiment of lust ) believes love is not love without consent is honestly a great detail

Also thinking about how fizzarolli has eyebags

Millie can use a bow and arrowwwww

I think the human versions of blitzø and his family are indigenous, idk the nose and the skin tone, it might be a long shot but I like the idea yk

Also love seeing indigenous characters

Stolas loving outer space that's canon right

Imagine him as a kid just reading a shit ton of books about space and in any occurrence it's brought up now you know how the universe is going to end

Blitzø: I just need space-

Stolas: SPACE???????

I think after Octavia gets out of her super angsty teenager phase ( do not come after me I know it's more than an angsty "mom leave me alone I wanna be famous" thing, I'm kidding ) she would really like indie music

Like indie rock if that makes any sense

" with ♥️ from Ozzie " ON EVERYTHING OZ GIVES FIZZ URGAJF

I'm sorry but there neeeeeddsss to be more Millie appreciation

I kinda wish there was an episode that centers around her yk ?

Do you think imps nipples are white too like scars and freckles or am I weird

Ozzie posting on everything " YES THE RUMORS ARE TRUE THIS IS MY FUCKING SOULMATE" because for some reason there was a lot of controversy and debate if it was real or not

Then next to it it's a picture of him and fizz

People were PISSED

I thought mamom was played by bluey's dad bandit if I'm being completely honest I'm so sorry

Millie is spider man moxxie is hello kitty

Stella likes soup. What is she eating now? Oh some fucking soup. What's wrong with her icecub- SHE FROZE THE SOUP TO MAKE ICE CUBES-

Loona has a very bad picking at her skin habit, not really with her face but with her legs and arms ( human form obviously )

I LOVE HOW MUCH BLITZØ LOVES LOONA IM SORRYYYY

Fizz posting " FUCK ALL OF YOU" on all of his socials , deleting everything ( especially the sexually explicit things )

I think being a part of the circus is equivalent to trailer trash in hell

I mean look at em

I love it

Human form Ozzie would have THE MOST luscious hair ever

This image just says so much about them as a pair it kills me

The way the animators just go above and beyond is just amazing to me

How did fizzarolli get the 2 minutes notice thing planned so quickly...........

" IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪 IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪🤞🏼"

Fizz over sharing as a teenager ( not projecting )

THAT ONE SCENW QITH STOLAS MOVING STELLAS HAND LITERALLY MADE MY FUCKING JAW DROP HOLY SHIT

HES LITERALLY TAKING BACK HIS LIFE

fizz really thought in "oops!" That he wasn't gonna make it out of the fire again

Like bro just put his knees to his chest and CRIED

IDK RHATS SK SAD TO MEEEE

Speaking of fizz how did that mark in the next episode get there? What was that? Idk if it was maybe a bruise from.. something.. I don't wanna say it was from mamon because that would defeat the purpose of his character being EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE and that emotional abuse is still abuse, but idk some people said it might be because of him?

Can you tell I'm obsessed with fizzarolli

The sexual harassment rep.... People who have experienced sh usually think "it's not as bad as *other s3xual trauma* so I'm just being dramatic" ( I say this from experience ) but it ABSOLUTELY IS AND SHOULD BE RECOGNIZED. It's still something you're not comfortable with. Fizz brushing it off as "oh well they're just fans who express their love differently!" Should not have been taught to him.

I'm not slightly projecting again. Nuh uh

Ozzie can play saxophone. He just gives me the vibe.

MILLIE CANNOTTTT KEEP A PLANT ALIVE FOR SHIT BRO

MOXXIE?? UH MAYBE A MONTH. 2 MAX. MILLIE? ITS DEAD WITHIN A DAY.

Loona: I AM NOT PUTTING THAT ON

blitzø: JUST ONE FUCKING FAMILY PICTURE LOONA-

Beezlebubs design just screams if kesha. Even if they didn't mean to.

Millie getting stuck in trees as a kid and being too scared to get down

Was Barbies real name barbie or is that a nickname? Or was it for the sake of the circus ( like blitzøs name being .. well blitzø )

Millie name is short for Amelia maybe? People used to call her Lia but she hated it so much she started writing her nickname Millie on everything.

People saying they hated / thought the stolas human design could've been better can go FUCK themselves HONESTLY

Blitzø and fizzs as teenagers going to their town center and being like "?????? Why is everything so FANCY it's AMAZING"

Octavia can't handle spicy things for SHIT

Look at their British asses

They cough at smelling PEPPER

Stolas just randomly texting Octavia "you're so beautiful darling! Have a nice day <3 -your dad" or "don't forget to eat! -your dad" ( he texts like that IDC )

FUCK STELLA ME AND MY HOES HATE THAT BITCH

Octavia writes poetry! It's actually really good

Okay so I have this headcanon that in the HELLUVA BOSS universe that songs like contoursionist, toxic ( by ashnikko ), tunnel vision and agorah hills, NYMPHOLOGY, and he has this "one last show" thing where he preforms these songs and HE IS SCREAMING SOME OF HIS OWN SONGS

But that would also defeat his character development so I'll just imagine him singing this songs in the car or smth

Mamon having to do some toxic gossip train shit

I WANMA SAY OZZIE HAS TWO OLDER SISTERS BUT IDK IF THAT WOULD WORKKKKK

Millie kills the spider.

I think that may be all okay byeeee

[hauntedwizardmoment]

HELLO, this is your open invitation to talk about any song choices or parallels on your jace-and-jaceclones playlist collection that you wish to elaborate upon, bc I've been listening to them all weekend and I'm absolutely obsessed. Incredible music selections and I'm possessed with emotions now; thank you for your work 🫡

OH MY GOD YES okay so i think i'll start with just like. the general comment that i used songs from a lot of the same artists on them because i wanted them to feel/sound similar but also have distinct vibes - i think a different mcr song appears on each one, there's jack off jill on three of them, etc.

buuuuuuut they also all have at least one pick that's wildly different that i kind of think as the standout/signature song. i wanted to represent that theyre all Of the same guy (jaceprime) but theyre different facets of him: devotion, hedonism, rage. also because i'm insane they do have an order to them and there's an arc within each one

ETA after i finished writing all of this: jesus fuck it got long i'm so sorry i'm insane

i'll go in the order that i finished them in:

for j2 (the acolyte), the vibe is probably the Most distinct from the other three, since his starts out so happy and optimistic; all the small things! baby you're a haunted house! look at these lyrics!!

theyre love songs!! ringtone, too, that's the one i think of as j2s signature song, since it's in a wildly different genre. ringtone is also where the playlist kind starts to get an inkling of despair and tragedy, too

spellbound + heaven, iowa + closer kind of make up a weird trilogy in my head of "j2's thoughts when he and porter are alone together" since it's like, feeling an inexorable pull towards him, feeling so so so weak for him, and of course: religious devotion mixed with intense horniness.

i feel the need to justify the "closer" pick for j2 and not j3, i did go back and forth on it but honestly it's like... j3 doesnt worship the same way j2 does. j2's the acolyte, not the whore. thats also why tourniquet, shame, and all again for you are on here.

lastly for j2: drowning lessons is the unofficial j2porter vegas wedding song to me. the imagery of it is so evocative. look at this.

for j3 (the whore), obviously the vibe is like, getting railed within an inch of your life. but i also wanted songs that conveyed a sense of desperation + misery and self hatred. because j3 has issues and problems.

give 'em hell kid + celebrity skin + ponyboy are like. the Fuck Me trio. j3 wants you to want him, he looks good, he knows he looks good, what are you gonna do about it? he's got a half-life of his own and he's gonna spend it with the hottest people he can.

straight to video, joyriding, and everybody's fool are what i was talking about re. desperation, misery, and self-hatred. he's never been fulfilled or felt like he has a purpose the same way j2 does. he doesnt like looking in the mirror longer than it takes to put on his makeup.

violent pornography + eat me alive are like, two sides of the same coin in my head. more Fuck Me vibes but like, this time with a definite sense of danger and obsession. obligatory choking mention. obligatory erotic cannibalism mention. these things are basically part of the starbreaker bible atp.

and for j3's signature song: living dead girl by rob zombie. he IS the living dead girl to me!! he's jace post-resurrection, trying to fill up the new void inside him with anything, be it pleasures of the flesh or just straight up flesh. he's back from the dead and he's gonna make it your problem. unlike j2's born sexy yesterday he's more like. resurrected sexy (and evil) last night.

for j4 (the devil): the main thing here was like. rebellion. going against the narrative that's trying to draw her in. she's gonna escape the cycle or die trying.

i think my favorite pulls for this were playing god, losing his touch, and going under, which in my mind made up like a trio of being fed the fuck up with someone and walking out for good. there are also a couple songs on here like dead throne and IAGTKTPOTUSOA (cant type out the song name now jic the fbi is watching) where i was like... j4 would listen to these while she's mad. she deserves to have her metal and harsh noise moment.

ofc j4 is still Of Jace so i had to include i hate everything about you, whore, and noise and kisses because unfortunately he's still attracted to porter. why is whore on here but adrenalize was on j3 (the whore)'s playlist? well. whore is WAY more of a Fuck You than adrenalize.

and j4's signature song is ofc ptolemaea. no matter how hard she fights back and how close she gets to escaping, she always ends up back at porter's side. it's inevitable.

aaaaaaaaand lastly for jace's playlist (the one): i think everyone's already noticed that half of this playlist is where the titles for my fics come from but i did want to say that explicitly.

jaceprime's playlist is very much about devotion even when it hurts. giving up parts of yourself to make someone else love you. being doomed. not being understood even by the person who knows you inside and out.

its also like. sleepless nights and waking up disoriented and unsure of who you are. feeling crushed and abandoned but too proud to do anything about it. brain stew, i slept with someone in fall out boy, and broken bones are very that.

i did include drowning lessons on this one again, i think it's the only repeat i have, and i didnt want to but man it's what i listened to while i was writing jace getting strangled to death in his marital bed so i HAD to. i also think it fits because j2 and jace are funhouse mirrors of each other and it's fun to think about how they're both interpreting the lyrics in very different ways.

for jace's signature song, it's dig up her bones. he got brought back wrong in service of an evil plan! it doesnt matter what came before, who he used to be! that jace died and now this one's here to stay. it's similar to j3 on purpose, but j3's more jennifer check while jaceprime is more bride of frankenstein.

lastly, white crosses is kind of the bookend to this whole deal because of the i'll make my way back home to you chorus. that's very starbreaker to me. at the end of the day, theyre each others' homes. theyre all they have left, even if they hate it.

[specialinterestshows]

Eat and toke with the Judgment Day in this latest chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic.

Warnings for this section: Cannabis (weed)

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 47 of ?): A Dish Best Served Rolled

Licking your lips, you thank the server as your order is placed in front of you.

"Finally," Dominik says excitedly, rubbing his hands together.

"What did you get?" you ask him, curious.

"Chicken tenders," everyone except you and JD says in unison, surprising the two of you, who look at each other awkwardly.

"They're the only thing he eats when we go out," Rhea sighs, looking at Dom with an amused smile as he digs in. Grinning at your metamour, you start on your own dish. A contented silence falls over the table, occasionally broken by the clinking of silverware, as everyone enjoys their food and drinks. Dominik finishes eating first, looking extremely satisfied.

"You ate that way too fast," you tell him, not even halfway through your own meal, "How do you not have a stomach ache?"

"Years of practice," Dom replies, looking very pleased with himself.

"Yeah: practicing smiling through your stomach aches," Rhea says, making him grin sheepishly.

Damian finishes his plate next, hurriedly chugging his water and wiping his mouth before standing and addressing Rhea.

"Need anything from the car?" he asked her, taking the keys out of his pocket.

"My messenger bag?" she requests, smiling as Damian nods and saunters over to the rental, his walk leisurely despite the hurried pace in which he finished eating.

Finn sighs, watching Damian walk away. JD claps a hand on Finn's shoulder, gently but firmly. A smile makes its way onto his face briefly before he notices you watching, quickly shrugging off JD's hand and clearing his throat. JD looks a bit hurt, but says nothing. You feel bad for having watched the two upon seeing JD's puppy-dog eyes, thinking of a time when you had been in a similar situation. Turning instead to look at your girlfriend, you take another bite of your food as Rhea wipes a few crumbs off Dominik's face and kisses his cheek before letting him finish his soda. You had never expected to feel so happy watching the woman you loved being sweet and affectionate with the man she loved, but you supposed what mattered most to you was that you were also important to her, and that she was happy.

"What is it, beautiful?" Rhea asks, noticing the pause in your eating as you look at her and Dominik.

"You guys are just so cute!" you say, smiling harder when Rhea poses and Dom blushes slightly.

"You should date us or something," Rhea jokes, grinning.

"Us?" you and Dominik asked in unison, confused.

"Too much?" she asks after giggling furiously at your reactions. You nod, but Dom seems to be considering it, nodding along with you once he sees you don't seem to be interested. Rhea laughs harder and you can't help but smile at the lovely sound.

"What's so funny?" Damian asks, walking up with Rhea's bag.

"Only two of the three of 'em want to form a triad," JD McDonagh replied, surprising everyone and making Dominik blush and look away, embarrassed.

Acting like he hadn't heard anything, Damian handed Rhea her bag, ignoring the look she gave him that seemed to say "don't be rude!"

"Hey, chica," Damian said, tapping your shoulder and looking around before slyly pulling a blunt out of his pocket, "Quieres?"

"You already know me so well," you reply, returning Damians mischievous smile before looking over at Rhea.

"If he's smoking, it means I'm the one driving us to the next location," she says, shaking her head as she plugs her phone into a portable charging block from her bag, "But you enjoy, love."

Taking one last sip of your beverage, you stand up and kiss Rhea before offering your car as the location for your smoke session with Damian and leading the way.

Feeling the vibration of your phone, you pull it out, expecting to see a text from Rhea. Instead, your phone reads: Text from: Liv Morgan. "Checking to make sure you're still alive! If I don't hear from you I might be legally required to tell WWE" The text ends with an emoji with its tongue sticking out.

Sighing, you quickly message back: "Not dead, all good!" before you and Damian reach your car and you unlock it. Getting in the driver's seat, you pull your sunshade off the floor in the back and prop it up against your windshield with the sun visors before Damian slides into the seat next to you. Just as Damian pulls out the blunt again, your phone buzzes. Opening the compartment underneath the radio, you pull out a lighter you kept there, offering it to Damian and ignoring your phone.

"Better check that and make sure it's not Rhea," Damian says, taking the lighter from you, "Our Eradicator makes it look like nothing phases her too much, but she's head over heels for you, chica."

Nodding, you check your phone as Damian brings the blunt to his lips and lights it.

Text from: Liv Morgan. "Glad you're not dead! You're way too cute to die" The message ended with a winking emoji and you felt your face getting warm.

[end part forty-seven of ?]

Part 48: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/729576237256851456/absolute-smokeshow-part-48-of-in-the-hot-box

-

Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domlynch

[iceheap]

plssssss more aarmau / aaron head canons i will eat em UP

Hmmm I have one I thought up a few months ago but it might be a bit meta.

So basically you know how Aaron doesn't have a personality at all in both nystreet and MCD? I think it's pretty obvious that the fact he has no defining characteristics or traits besides being a former lord and him hating Zane is obviously the fault of Jess and Jason, not Aaron's. But I do think this is interesting from a limitation perspective.

See, I don't like completely rebooting a story concept, I like to work with the limitations of the original source material to create depth, not something brand new. I've been doing the same for Zane as well, though we can talk about-face him another time. I like to use the peices that are already there in a story and add everything else around it. Sure, I will do canon divergences here and there, but if I can use something in the original canon and keep certain events as close as possible, I will.

So, Aaron's severe lack of personality. It's obviously because of bad writing. But what if it wasn't?

Shad is a very interesting character. Mostly because we don't get the exact details of WHY, exactly, he turned out so... Twisted.

Like as a creature itself, Shad is weird. He used to be a good person. I genuinely believe that Shad was never evil, just assigned a set of abilities he couldn't really handle. He kind of reminds me of Chat Noir because of the way he and Irene's magical dynamics are so similar to Marinette and Adrian's. Irene was the light, and Shad was the darkness.

Now, sure, we have the absolute shit-show that was MCD season 3 and Mystreet season 6, and the ensuing retcon that has Irene kind of be a terrible person? Which, I have a headcanon about that retconed version of the story that I might write and post on AO3 one day, but for the sake of my sanity I consider the original story of Shad's betrayal canon. The other male members were in love with Irene and stabbed Shad in the back.

Thinking about it, though, where was Irene in all of this?

What, exactly, made Shad into the Shadow Lord? Irene would have reasonex with him. If Shad had come out of the altercation alive, he could have been reasoned with. Yes, maybe Irene's communications skills were lacking due to centuries of immortality and maybe she caused a misunderstanding that led him to the dark side, but Shad was not a BAD person. Temperamental, traumatized, tired and emotionally disregulated, sure. But he was not a bad person.

That's if we're assuming Shad lived.

I think he didn't.

I think the other male divine warriors killed him.

Of course, Irene would not have been okay with this. And they probably would have had to do it behind her back. Maybe they chose a time they knew she would not be there. Maybe they told Shad Irene agreed with their plans for his death.

But Irene loved Shad. She maybe didn't know how to show it anymore, but she LOVED him. She would have never let him die.

Shad probably didn't know that though.

So he dies. And somehow, Irene finds them. The others try to explain, at first, but it's moot point because for the first time in multiple lifetimes, Irene emotes. She shows an emotion. She feels something.

She tries to heal Shad. She's a healer after all. It's what she does. She tries.

It doesn't work.

She tries again.

It doesn't work.

She tries and she tries and she tries and she tries and--

And Shad comes back.

But it's not right. There's something WRONG. Irene fucked up. Because Shad is dark, and Irene is light, and they're not supposed to MIX.

So Shad comes back as an angry, furious, broken shell, twisted and dark and evil and angry. And they fight him and they win, and Irene locks him away, and the Irene looks around at what her companions have TAKEN from her and she can't STAND it anymore and so she locks herself away and sleeps, because she doesn't feel ANYTHING and she wants to FEEL and--

Anyway, we know this story. So what does this have to do with Aaron?

What if Aaron isn't Shad? What if Aaron is a PEICE of Shad?

Because light and dark aren't supposed to mix, but when they do, they create something unstable. And like any chemical bond that does not want to exist, it explodes. And what did it explode?

Shad.

And what part of Shad did it explode?

His soul, of course.

The heart of darkness. The Shadow Lord. These are PEICES of Shad's soul. He was fractured.

And that's why Aaron has no personality besides things like revenge and being a lord and helping raise Lilith and loving Aphmau and nothing else. He was the peice of Shad that carried Shad's humanity, but NOTHING ELSE. He doesn't have the Shadow Lords Passion and anger and rage. He shows glimpses of it, but only enough any other human would show. That's why he's blank and distant and doesn't emote. His heart is gone, and with it, all the deeper complexities of emotion.

He has no hobbies or interests. He just fights and eats and sleeps and drinks water and functions from a creatures instinct, because he's human, but he has NOTHING ELSE.

He's also probably the only peice out toghether enough to reincarnated. But he's missing things and that's why he's so bleh.

Anyway, yeah, that's my hc for Aaron's lack of character development. And I think it's super interesting that Irene would have fractured Shad without realizing it. She was probably too desperate to bring him back to realize how much damage she was doing.

So yeah! Aaron is a peice of a whole and that's why he's WEIRD AF thank you for coming to my TedTalk WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[spacefinch]

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay:  I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

[blackbird-brewster]

You Give Me Fever

Tara/Emily || Rated: E || WC: 1960 Fills: Sensation Play (for @cmkinkbingo2024), Heatwave (for @storiesofsvu bday bingo) Additional Tags: Fluff and Smut, Married Sex, Established Relationship, Ice Play, Oral Sex, Fingering

A heatwave pushes Tara's menopausal hot flashes into overdrive. Luckily for her, her wife knows just how to cool her down.

[Read on AO3] || [Kink Bingo Masterlist]

Tara growled in discomfort as she stuck her head in the kitchen freezer. DC was in the middle of a heatwave and the soaring temperatures, plus the recent onset of menopause had her feeling like she was going to combust from her hot flashes. There was just a constant fever under her skin, boiling her alive from the inside out. She was absolutely miserable.

Emily chuckled, taking in the sight of her wife in nothing but a pair of shorts, head completely hidden behind the open freezer door. "Guess I don't have to ask how you're doing today."

"This fucking sucks."

Emily grabbed a clean kitchen towel and wet it with cool water. She draped it over Tara's neck, then wrapped her arms around her waist. "Yeah, I hated this part."

Tara pushed her wife's arms off. "Too hot for cuddling, Em."

"Well, will you at least come out of the freezer for a second so you can kiss me good morning?"

"Shit. Sorry," Tara replied. She did as requested, abandoning her cold sanctuary so she could kiss her partner. Emily's hands naturally moved back to Tara's hips and she was fairly certain they were going to leave handprints branded into her flesh, like a searing hot iron. "Em, hands!"

Emily removed them, holding them up in the air quickly. "Wow. That bad, huh?"

"I feel like every part of my body is made of lava. Who the fuck invented menopause? This shit is torture!"

Emily bit her tongue to keep from laughing at her wife's misfortune. She was only a handful of years older than Tara, but she was already on the tail end of menopause herself. For the most part, Emily skated through the process without suffering through the worst symptoms. She'd only experienced hot flashes for the first couple of months, but they were mild compared to the emotional instability that followed. Mood swings, outbursts, crying at every SPCA commercial, Emily spent nearly two years at the mercy of her hormones. Tara lovingly laughed at her at the time, but now that the tables had turned, Emily thought better of returning the teasing. Not when her wife looked like a polar bear trying to stay afloat on the last piece of ice in the whole Arctic Sea.

"What can I do?" Emily asked.

Tara groaned, her shoulders slumping in helplessness. "Go buy fifty bags of ice and pack me in the tub with it until this stupid heatwave passes?"

Emily tapped her finger on her chin as if to ponder this request. "Well, the ice is going to melt by the time I get it home. You might have to strip down and hop directly into the freezer section at Giant."

Tara's sour expression softened. "Tempting, but I think that'd cause quite a scene."

"True," Emily replied thoughtfully. "The headlines would read 'Deranged FBI Agent Caught Naked Amidst Frozen Vegetables'. I'm sure the bureau would love that."

"Nah, I'd definitely be in the ice cream aisle. At least I could eat my feelings while staying cool."

"Hm, ice cream and you naked," Emily grinned. "All we'd be missing was whipped cream."

Tara laughed and offered her hand, instantly pulling Emily into a hug as soon as she'd accepted the gesture. "I love you."

Emily kissed her softly, while mindfully leaving a couple of inches between their bodies. "I love you too. Now, what do you want for breakfast?"

Tara decided the momentary torture of having her wife pressed against her was worth it as she pulled her into a deeper kiss. A pulse of heat moved through her body, settling between her legs, and sending her into a fever. She kept kissing Emily while backing her into the counter, clawing at her shirt to pull it up and over her head.

This was, admittedly, the most surprising menopausal symptom to-date. While a large portion of people experienced lowered libido during menopause, Tara was on the opposite end of the spectrum. She'd become absolutely insatiable lately. She felt like a teenager again, one kiss or intimate touch from Emily would send Tara into a horny frenzy. The pair had been together for going on eight years, but their sex life had always been excellent. They'd actually become more sexual the longer they'd been together and yet, none of that compared to how much sex they were having ever since Tara hit menopause.

At least once a week, she'd come marching into Emily's office, locking the door and closing the blinds behind her. Emily was more than happy to help her wife get off, but after a stint of extremely close calls the fear of getting caught was too much to handle. They'd agreed to stop hooking up at work from now on, which only meant Tara was on her wife non-stop at home.

It was a Saturday morning, no case, no other engagements, all the time in the world.

Tara ravished Emily with kisses starting at her neck, moving down to her clavicles, then very inch of her bare chest. The need to fuck her far superseding the hot flash still flushing her skin. From the day they met in a New York police station, to their wedding a few years ago, to this moment, Tara had never been able to resit Emily Prentiss.

"Bed," she muttered into hurried kisses. She pulled Emily off the counter, their lips never parting as she started leading her back to the bedroom.

By the time she was pushing Emily onto the mattress, they were both naked. Tara nudged a knee between Emily's thighs, grinding against her clit while they made out. She wasn't surprised for it to be met with slick arousal. She grabbed Emily's waist and guided her hips up and down her thigh, "You like that, baby?"

It was rhetorical, but Emily nodded all the same. "Fuck, you know I do."

They'd barely started, yet sweat was already beaded at Tara's brow. She quickly used the back of her hand to wipe her forehead, trying not to let her dysfunctional temperature regulation ruin the moment. As Emily continued riding her thigh, Tara slipped a hand between her own legs, running her fingertips through her wetness. Ever spot her fingers touched came alight with fire, her cunt felt like it was going to ignite if she kept touching herself. The sensation was so jarring, she jerked her hand away as if she'd physically touched a hot stove.

Emily looked at her wife with pity. "Oh god, is this awful for you?"

"No, no," Tara replied. "It's great..."

"Tara, you're already sweating on me," Emily laughed, as she pushed her wife off of her.

Tara burst into laughter too, plopping onto her back on the mattress next to Emily. They caught their breaths while staring up at the ceiling fan as it gently wobbled with each rotation.

Emily finally rolled onto her side, propping her head up on one hand while they other ghosted up Tara's stomach without actually touching her. "You know, we may not have enough ice to pack the tub....but, we definitely have enough to play with."

Tara grinned and tipped her head in agreement. "Now that could be fun."

Without another word, Emily pressed a kiss to her lips and got up to run back to the kitchen. Barely a minute later, she returned with a cup in hand, ice cubes softly clinking and sliding against the glass. Another cube was already pressed between Emily's lips, she dipped down and traced it over the shape of Tara's mouth, before kissing her deeply to pass the ice off to her.

Tara eagerly sucked on it, enjoying the cool liquid as it slid down her throat. Even just the little bit of water gave some relief to her current discomfort. She moaned in satisfaction and looked to Emily expectantly. "Go ahead, love. Cool me down."

Emily kissed her way down the length of Tara's chest. She took another ice cube in her teeth and teased circles around her nipples until they grew taut. The ice melted down, leaving trickles of liquid rolling down Tara's breasts, until it began to pool in the valley between them. Emily trailed the tip of her tongue through the water, before leaning back up to share it with her wife in a passionate kiss.

Tara tangled both hands in Emily's grey hair, pulling her closer into a fierce kiss. Just like that, the fiery mixture of arousal and heat simmered under her skin again. "Fuck me, Em."

Emily placed sloppy kisses down her torso, flicking an eager tongue here and there as she went. She got comfortable between Tara's thighs and fished another cube from the glass. It was already half-melted, so she wasted no more time, quickly sucking it into her lips she glided it over Tara's clit.

Her hips jerked from the stark contrast of freezing cold and molten heat. It felt absolutely incredible. She spurred Emily on by stroking her fingers through her hair while she lazily traced the ice through Tara's folds. She moaned, already lost in the experience. "That's so fucking good, baby."

The last of the ice turned to water, mixing with Tara's increasing wetness. Emily curled her tongue into her cunt, taking with it the cold sensation. Tara's hand tightened in her wife's hair as she blew gently against her cunt, only elevating the cool feeling.

Emily repeated the cycle with another cube, gently fucking Tara with it until it melted completely against her skin. She'd always been good with her tongue, she could have Tara coming over and over with little else, but the added sensation of the ice truly brought a whole new level to Emily's oral prowess.

Tara writhed underneath her, gasping, moaning, her fingertips digging into any part of Emily she could get a hold on. Within minutes, her hot flash was long forgotten as her cunt ached and throbbed from the cold touch of ice and Emily's skilled mouth.

Emily fucked her tongue deep into her wife, the tip of her nose brushing against Tara's clit with each motion. When Emily ran out of ice, she tipped the remaining water in the glass into her mouth, then sucked on two fingers to cool them before she slipped them into Tara.

"Ohhh, fucccck, right there, yes, yes, yes!" Tara's hips rocked in time with each motion Emily made, until she was gasping through sharp breaths, panting and pleading as Emily finally pushed her over the edge.

Emily fucked her through the orgasm while still using her tongue to lap up the mixture of cum and water soaking her wife's cunt. She replaced her fingers with her tongue, happily humming in delight at the taste, trying to lick up every drop. When she was satisfied with her work, she crawled up the bed on all fours, lowering herself on top of Tara once more to kiss her so she could enjoy the very last bit of cold before it warmed in her mouth.

Tara pulled away with a dazed grin, her freckled nose scrunching up in sheer bliss. "Holy shit, babe."

Emily folded her arms to rest her chin on them while she watched her wife recover underneath her. "How's your hot flash?"

Tara pretended to think for a moment, then in the flash of an eye she'd flipped their positions to pin Emily underneath her. "Ohhhh, I'm sure it'll subside," she rolled off the bed with a twinkle in her eye, "Especially after I refill the glass and return the favour."

[gelastocoridae]

This season on wildlife rehab (so far):

I finally got rabies vaccinated this Feb! Here I come, vector species *rubbing my hands together*

Very first babies of the season were three horned larks who threw me, the "bird-whisperer" as one coworker insists, completely for a loop. The last time we had a single horned lark was two years ago

Also one absolutely teeny house finch. Pink and fuzzy, profoundly little (he's fully feathered now and learning to self feed and we're all so proud of our baby!!!)

...followed by a dozen more older finches

Two other species we haven't had in at least the three years I've worked there - Lincoln's sparrow and White-crowned sparrow 🤨

(I mean we've had brewers and chipping sparrows and even a lark sparrow but ??)

A baby northern flicker, so young he looked just a little bit,, obscene lol (he had a horrible first day recovering from his injuries but now his feathers are growing in and he's perching on bark and we're also so proud 🥺)

Bunnies, bunnies, and more bunnies!! Good Lord they are such little dollops of velvet with lil pipe-cleaner sized paws, and you're telling me I get to hold them??? 🥺💕💕

Was literally about to close the gate behind me leaving one night, still in the driveway,, and my car headlights catch the eyes of a still-alive raccoon that had JUST been hit by a car moments earlier,,,

so I hit reverse, get out of the car, and heckin sprint back inside to fetch the only two people left in the building at 10pm - the actual Raccoons Staff - to help catch it

Finally typical baby birds that are not finches! But ofc it's starlings that eat like crap

And robins! And doves! ...with broken legs or subq emphysema (thanks outdoor cats)

Don't worry, we fixed the broken legs!

Still working on the sqe tho, slowly but surely

And bunnies with de-gloved hind-ends

(thanks outdoor cats)

Oh, some of the finches are being weird, like they've aspirated but their lungs are perfectly fine?? HAVE A PELICAN

A PELICAN WITH A GIGANTIC, EXPENSIVE, TRIPLE TRI-HOOKED FISHING LURE

LITERALLY HOOKING HER WHOLE FOOT TO HER THROAT POUCH. TEARING HOLES IN HER FOOT AND HER VERY IMPORTANT THROAT POUCH

Also she almost snapped two staff members who tested her patience teehee (she got fixed up n released! Yay!!)

Back to regularly scheduled bunny

I learned how to bottle feed two baby raccoons and one of them just wanted to snuggle into my elbow for safety 🥺💕🥺

Back to regularly scheduled finches. I mean starlings. I mean birds.

I said something in off-handed retail-tuned humor to a staff member i don't know super well to cope with understaffing stress and found out I'm viewed as senior staff with valuable love and expertise who is respected enough that my comment raised serious concern 😭🥺

Baby crow. This year's protocol to avoid habituation when feeding corvids is a camo suit with a picture of a crow face taped to the hat. With eye holes cut out.

Hate this so much I decided to sculpt a hand puppet crow head to try (like they used for the California condors). This is currently laying half finished on my desk

Those problem finches be problem-ing. Throwing everything we have at them and still haven't figured out how to fix them. Cue group problem solving in the Bird ICU Slack channel

Somewhere in all that were some fox kits and a separate adult whose shedding winter coat completely saved him from a fence wire amputating his tail

All these bunnies need antibiotics (thanks outdoor cats)

The softest, sweetest adult goldfinch 🥺

The most ferocious adult house sparrow, victimizing all my coworkers (not me tho, I'm immune to bird beak)

Both courtesy of window strikes

Two - count em, TWO common poorwills in one week!

A red-winged blackbird? In my rehab center??? Since when does anyone find injured rwb's?

TIL a lot of flickers n such end up caught in expanding foam sealant. Like. Come on guys. If you're putting that stuff anywhere. Sit watch until it's dry.

Come on, it's not that hard. Avoid having to carve out the screaming animal you were trying to evict

Anyways my dad/other boss is a contractor so I shot him a text and helped our vet & intake staff learn how to save more such lives in the future! The Flicker in question was able to keep almost all of his flight feathers intact (yay, less regrowth time!), regain his legs n feet, and eagerly scarf down all the mealworms we can give him

Btw a good solvent for expanding foam? High content rubbing alcohol

Anyways

Baby beavers look fake

They're so gosh darn adorable but like. You're telling me that hand-puppet that just squeaked at me for cuddles is a living baby? Too good to be true, but it is 🥺

Got stopped by a stranger at the public library to be asked about the baby beaver. I will never know if it was purely because I was wearing a logo shirt or bc the person saw me as staff on our last social media post n recognized me in public 😵‍💫😎

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

Do the emojis that are things you could conceivably keep in a wallet

sure I can try that^^

🐰 cannot fit the bnnyu -- X

💌 folded up love note should probably fit... -- diary or journal?

journal, a diary is like casual and conversation themed, and while I could put elements of that in a journal it could never escape the air of faux-professionalism and flawed attempts at accuracy I would instill in it; not that I have the diligence to commit to either

✨ stars might be just a teensy bit too big, even if they look a little bit like the Revstar ones I see no hairclip attached to them -- X

💕 hearts are too big for wallets in all circumstances -- X

💋 lipstick mark can fit sure, just put it on paper or kiss the wallet directly -- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

both are good, the former I do somewhat regularly so the latter is more exciting probably^^

🐝 I am so sorry Bee-chan this is gonna hurt and might be deadly but Em is forcing me to do it, goodbye ;_; -- describe your aesthetic in emojis

already answered but I can copy them I think: 💜❤️🦊🍵🦈🦊🌕🌗🌑🌦🌊👖🦊🚋💻🩷💜💙

🍼 baby bottle too big -- X

🌸 flower getting squished but maybe it will be fine -- what is your favorite flower?

hydrangeas, snowdrops, lilies and spider lilies^^

💖 you see, they simply cannot fit, for a cute girls heart is vaster than the sea -- X

🍰 caki.. the wallet would be so ruined if I tried that, nope -- X

🍯 a whole pot could not possibly fit, but I shall make an exception and say it's just honey in general so Bee-chan has some food in there if she's still alive, spoonful goes in-- describe your favorite smell

it's a cute girl smell I have absolute no idea how to describe it whatsoever in other terms

🎂 yet more caki, this time with added fire hazard, nope -- X

🍪 I can squeeze a cookie into the part for the coins, sure -- cookie dough or cookies?

I have never been in a situation where there was a cookie dough in eating distance where the idea of eating it seemed appealing, maybe I haven't been near the right ones?

☕ coffee cup does not fit nope, no exceptions for such a bleh liquid, maybe if it was tea I would consider it... -- X

🍃 a leaf fits for sure -- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

those are both incredibly excellent, how am I supposed to choose... hmmm mermaid option let's me accompany my girl for sea serpent searching so maybe that

🍂 and even more leaf... - what’s your middle name?

that's a secret because I am not doxxing myself that hard lol

💫 I can fit a shooting star no problem, just gotta wait until it's down here and cool enough to pick up-- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

I googled this and the first calculator that came up gave me the creeps, no thank you, here you can have your shooting star back

🌧️ raincloud way way too big -- X

🍭 lollipop can fit if it's a small one -- how tall are you?

167cm^^, average central europe girl size, hehe^^

💒 even if I was willing to try fitting in that playmobile looking church the hearts could never fit -- X

🎄 christmas tree way too big -- X

🍦 whole icecream cone too big --X

🎶 *girl awkwardly sings into her wallet while being incredibly bad at it*-- favorite song right now?

this season has way too much music for that, have 4 of them (also cries in Sasakoi music still not having released u_u):

💘 again, you cannot fit something larger than an ocean -- X

🍩 round tube caki also too big -- X

❄️ this is gonna melt real quick, but it should definitely fit -- what is your favorite season?

FALL!

💍 gods I would buy my girl a ring that looks so much better than this, this trash may go into the wallet -- your current relationship status?

happily girlfriends with @collectivenothingness, though we would not necessarily be opposed to get a third

📷 my camera is significantly bigger than my wallet -- X

💅🏻 better hope that that fresh nail polish smell keeps Bee-chan from stinging me... -- do you like being spoiled?

hehe, of course I do, getting cuddles and scritches is the best^^

🕊️ dove with olive branch too big --X

🦄 unicorn head too big as well --X

🦋 butterfly-chan too??!? sure bee-chan seems fine in there rn, but a butterfly would definitely die, those wings are way too fragile for that, no no and no -- X

🌈 rainbow vast and in the sky -- X

🍓 yet more food for my bee i guess --one secret about yourself

I think I've mentioned my imaginary ex-girlfriend called Emily from when I was a teen a bunch before, but I never described what she looked like, so she's a ~20 cm tall girl with silver hair and rainbow colored fairy wings, and she usually wears a plain white dress, and she's an outwardly super optimistic genki girl who secretly thinks she's never good enough^^

🍒 a feast of fruit for one lonely bee-- how do you act when you have a crush?

I deny it, I imagine what could be while cuddled up in bed, I deny it some more, I like their posts on tumblr and never say anything until they do; or at least that's how it's been the last time, it's been a while

💔 even if you split an ocean in half like some kind of heartbreaking girl moses, it still will not fit in a wallet -- X

💬 *awkwardly mumbles apologies to Bee-chan into the wallet, asking her if she's okay and whatnot*-- what your last text message says?

"gonna shake it a bit more often too maybe" <- this is about air fryer fries, they turned out pretty good with one extra shake

🎥 film camera also too big -- X

⛅ the cloud is too big and the sun is even bigger I heard -- X

💗 another heart, another sea -- X

🥀 maybe another flower to sit on in there will make her forgive me... -- last time you cried?

hmmm.. it's been a short while, was just the usual neet depression feels iirc

🎁 present package big --X

🔪 that would ruin the wallet if I tried --X

💤 the concept of a girl's sleep is at least mountain-sized -- X

🎀 a small bow fits probably, but this does not provide a question, I shall have to make one up uhh -- can you please let that bee out of your wallet?

sure ^^ 🐝 〜☆

[greaseonmymouth]

It is not 7 am anymore but top 5 books read this year? 😄

I have read 44 books so far this year and most of them were very good so I don't know how I'm supposed to pick just 5 :'''D

in reverse chronological order

THE DEATH I GAVE HIM - EM X. LIU

this is an utterly unhinged locked room sci-fi murder mystery retelling of Hamlet in which Horatio is an AI and he and Hamlet have a deeply co-dependent and sexual relationship. This book is exactly the kind of thing tumblr would eat up with a spoon, so tumblr pls get on this. The basic plot is: a deeply depressed and suicidal Hamlet (Hayden) is working on a formula that can make one immortal. He is obsessed with beating death. Then his dad is murdered and the labs go on lockdown and more people die because *gestures* Hamlet is Hamlet even when his name is Hayden, and Horatio the AI does his best to keep Hamlet alive and also be a voice of reason except he's too biased. By happenstance I had read this Hamlet/Faust crossover fic (Hemlock & Wine) before reading this book, and in this fic Hamlet is obsessed with necromancy and Horatio is trying to save him. it set the mood nicely. 

You know how in Hamlet everyone dies and at the end Horatio is the only one alive with Hamlet dead in his arms? What if I told you in this book it's reversed?

WILD AND WICKED THINGS - FRANCESCA MAY

Dark, witchy, historical fantasy - set after WW1 on a fictional island off the Yorkshire coast, very 20s glam with a dark undercurrent. Witchcraft is banned, but Annie is a witch. when her father dies she inherits his house on Crow Island and goes over there to sort that out and rents a house next to what turns out to be a Den of Iniquity, not just because of the lavish parties with illegal (magical) substances but because it's queer. Then follows a dark plot involving a blood debt and necromancy and power hungry men (well, one power hungry man) and fragile old and new relationships and dark secrets and also Annie and Emmeline get accidentally magically bonded to each other (but also are in love/lust with each other) and look, I could not stop reading. 

DRAGONFALL - L.R. LAM

listen I LOVE dragon books and I've read and loved everything L.R. Lam has written so when I heard an epic dragon fantasy was coming? I WAS STOKED. this is the first in I think a trilogy and it ticks all my boxes:

sentient dragons with their own history, language, society, etc

sexy dragons?? i didn't realise i needed sexy dragons until I read Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen trilogy or the Invisible Library series by Genevieve Cogman, but hey. SEXY DRAGONS

queernorm world! our second protag Arcady is nonbinary and uses any pronouns, thank u for your service L.R. Lam

very cool world building and magic system 

BETRAYAAAALLL 

I can't wait for book 2

PORTRAIT OF A THIEF - GRACE D. LI

look this post will explain everything. suffice to say: pretentious college students steal priceless art.

THE BEAUTIFUL ONES - SILVIA MORENO-GARCIA

This is a kind of historical romance but it's fantasy and it doesn't follow conventional romance novel structure (I was SO nervous it wouldn't end happily because I didn't know what to expect from the narrative I was being given, but THANK GOD IT DID). it's very fantasy of manners. it makes a lot of pointed commentary about colonialism and colourism. it's absolutely lush. I love this book a lot, it was so engaging and gripping. the characters are allowed to be flawed and assholes and complex and weak and kind - it's very similar to sprawling historical/saga books with a large cast of people with conflicting wants and needs and scheming and tragedy and love and all that, but distilled into a neat compact package focusing on three people. It's not a long book, it's quite a slim volume for what it is, but it's perfectly paced so you don't notice that you're not actually reading a 900 page family saga.

other standalones I read this year that I think are WELL worth reading:

CAMP DAMASCUS - CHUCK TINGLE

YOU MADE A FOOL OF DEATH WITH YOUR BEAUTY - AKWAEKE EMEZI

YELLOWFACE - R.F. KUANG

HONOURABLE MENTIONS GO TO:

two series I read this year that I also absolutely loved

THE SEVEN DEVILS DUOLOGY - ELIZABETH MAY & L.R. LAM

you know this post right?

[image id: post by worflesbian on july 4 saying 'sci fi is when women in tank tops are covered in grease and sweat and are shouting at people and racing against time to save lives' reblogged by leafcrunch on july 13 with a screenshot addition of the tag #half a jumpsuit!!! you forgot half a jumpsuit!!!!']

this is that series. it is rebels in space overthrowing an evil space empire. it's all the worst bits of imperialism and colonialism and patriarchy distilled into one evil empire and all the best bits of firefly and star wars distilled into the rebellion. there are cool scifi science bits. this would be amazing as a two season series by competent tv makers, it's very cinematic in scope, but the characters are what give this life.

THE WINTERNIGHT TRILOGY - KATHERINE ARDEN

this is a family saga of a kind, set in medieval Russia during a time when Russia was being Christianised. I don't know how to explain this series because it's so complex and so rich. There is a main character - Vasya - but other characters also get POV sections. the first book takes quite a while before we even get to Vasya in 'the present' so to speak, this is a trilogy that isn't afraid of taking its time to tell a story. Vasya is a witch who can see/communicate with Russian 'folklore' spirits, these spirits are fading with the coming of Christianity. There is an unhinged priest, the winter king Morozko whom Vasya has an intense relationship with, Vasya's brother (a monk, based on a real person), Vasya's sister (married to the Tsar, a real person), and just...god, I don't know. I loved everything about this trilogy, the way it humanised historical figures, the way it didn't demonise either the folklore spirits (who are allowed to be non-human beings devoid of human morality! so refreshing) or the Christians, but rather conveyed how a time of upheaval like this had to have been very scary and tumultous. an absolute treat.

I did also read the entire Charm of Magpies series by KJ Charles including the spinoffs, which I really enjoyed.

[i-restuff]

a personal Mario movie review from yours truly.

ok, so, I'm very natural over Mario franchise. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. so this review is mainly from someone who is there only for the animation (also for Jack Black ofc). cool? cool. alright.

spoilers below

I'm going to be super upfront with the "good stuff", and sorta detailed with the "meh stuff". mostly because the good stuff is very self-explanatory while for the negative ones I feel like at least I should give a little bit of reason why I feel that way.

good stuff

I love the world-building, everything is very well-detailed and the environment is insanely rich

character designs? love it. they look absolutely alive and expressive

the casting. I think they're all really good???? I personally think Chris Pratt is alright too ig? I mean I kinda don't care, I was distracted with everything else in the movie. but he's fine.

Jack Black. nuff said.

I love Toad. I love Peach. DK. BROWSER??? everyone's very likable damn.

I'm obsessed with the 3d models ngl. there are times when I was focused more on the models than I was on the story. It's really distracting in a good way.

Storywise, I think it's decent but also fun!

love love love the dynamic between Mario and Luigi. Peak dynamic, really.

Such a nostalgia trip. I for one who doesn't know much about Mario had such a blast listening to all the soundtracks and looking at the itsy bitsy references and such.

obsessed with Lumalee. let em die :(

/////////////

the credit animation is super colorful I wish I could eat it.

^ I was watching this with a friend who is obsessed with Mario. there are times when he went absolutely insane and explained some stuff that I didn't know. which I think it's cool! it's crazy how there are literally easter eggs and fan service everywhere, it doesn't feel forced too. I really could see why people love it so much.

meh stuff

ok, imma be honest. I'm just gonna complained about the plot holes here,, It didn't really effect the story, but it did confuse me a bunch of times. again, this is coming from someone who doesn't know much about Mario. I might miss some stuff.

the transition when Mario/Luigi got teleported from Brooklyn to the Mushroom Kingdom. like, why? what's so special about that specific pipe?

also before that. why's Brooklyn drowning all of a sudden lmaoo. that part kinda felt forced just so Mario and Luigi had a reason to go below the sewer. it sorta makes sense I guess? but the pacing is pretty dang weird.

how does Peach know her own kind? "you're a human!". she was a literal baby when she first got to the Mushroom Kingdom

I love love love Toad character. I just don't understand his presence? I mean sure, he's bringing the comedy, but you could find the "comedy" elsewhere too. so his character is a bit useless despite him being the protector. long story short, the movie would be fine with or without him < this is how much his character matters imo.

the pacing after Mario agreed to fight with DK and then suddenly he's on the stage. tbf this isn't really a big deal? but the transition kinda bugged me.

I don't know what exactly they wanted to do with Mario and Peach relationship. do they like each other romantically? it doesn't feel like it despite being teased a few times.

my dude Luigi has to sit in the cage for how long now? kinda suck. I wanna know more about him, I wanna see him more in action.

that being said. I wish they did more with Luigi, give him something to develop on. because seeing him fighting Browser doesn't feel as rewarding as how we see Mario. all he did most of the time was get caught and sit in a cage while Mario had to go through all those bullshit. but I get it though. storytelling wise, Luigi is supposedly Mario's goal. to get him back and all that. I get that.

I can't feel sad for Mario for some reason??? (this has nothing to do with Cris Pratt btw). his supposedly "emotional" scenes didn't impact me at all. in fact, I felt awkward. I honestly don't know why though.

the final fight scene is also awkward? I mean it's cool, don't get me wrong. I think it has to do with where they're fighting? I guess imma blame Brooklyn for this.

the 80's pop songs felt out of place, but maybe that's just me.

personal rating? 7.

but I genuinely get why people love this movie.

[verfound]

MINIFIC: Oct. 23: Day 1: Autumn (MLB, Lukanette, DLM AU)

...I was gonna do these, and then I wasn't gonna do em, and then work life flipped off creative life and here I am, joining the fun at @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers's late. Using the Ghostober 2021 prompts here. Just having fun. 👀

Read on A03

To Feel Alive Again: Day 1: Autumn

A chill breeze whispered through the street, nipping at the edges of exposed skin peeking out from coats and scarves.  Marinette pulled her own coat – a lumpy, gray thing she had lifted off a reap a few weeks back – and tried not to scowl.

She used to love this time of year.  Before.

The changing of the seasons meant a new wardrobe.  Layers of material, vibrant splashes of color, boots and hats and scarves – so many accessories.  She used to have the cutest peacoat, made from a deep burgundy wool that always kept her warm on the coldest fall days.  She had embroidered a swirl of leaves around the hem in a rich gold thread, and she had even found golden buttons shaped like maple leaves to line the front.  She had been so proud of that coat.  She’d lived in it every fall for years.

…she hadn’t died in it, though.

She’d died in the spring.

When it was too warm for such a heavy coat.

She supposed it was funny, in a way.  Before, the fall – a season marked by death – had always brought a new life to her, but the spring – the season for life and renewal – had brought with it her death.

Now she saw it everywhere.

It was hard to love things anymore.  In the After.

“You’re still allowed to love things,” Théo had said, not unkindly, one morning over breakfast.  It was a rare moment of seriousness for him, and if she hadn’t been in such a foul mood she might have appreciated it.  Instead, she hunkered down deeper in the gray coat she hated and stared – glared – out the window.  She hummed, not really agreeing or disagreeing.  She didn’t see the way Luka glanced up at her from his coffee, a small frown playing at the edges of his mouth.

She did see the large, chunky sweater folded on the foot of her bed when she came home a week later, though.

“…Fred, what…did you leave this here?” she called, her hands trembling as she held the sweater up.  It was obviously handmade – not as good as she could make, but absolutely perfect in its little imperfections.  The stitches pulled just a little too tight or a little too loose, the slightly uneven ribbing along the neck, the braiding that hadn’t been blocked properly zigzagging down the front…it spoke of time, and care, and things Marinette hadn’t let herself think about in far too long.  And it was soft, the yarn used to make it obviously high quality.  She knew just how much a sweater like this would cost – more than she could dream of affording these days, when she was still struggling to hold down an after-death job.

“Hmm?” Fred called, popping his head in the room.  When he saw the sweater, his eyebrows lifted.  “Ah, that?  No, it wasn’t me.  Luka dropped it off while you were out.  Said something about pink suiting you?”

Marinette’s head jerked up, surprised, but Fred was just smiling at you.

“You’re still allowed to love things, Marinette,” he said, inclining his head towards her.  “You’re still allowed to feel.”

She looked back at the sweater, her lips pursed and her eyes burning with tears she refused to shed, and didn’t answer.  Fred sighed and flipped his hat onto his head, nodding at her.

“I’m off,” he said, tipping his hat at her.  “Make sure you eat tonight, kid, all right?

…he probably hadn’t meant a mug of hot chocolate and a plate of macarons, but as she hunkered down in the nicest sweater she had ever worn and watched her old favorite sappy movie on the cracked tv…well.

At least when you’re dead you don’t have to worry about calories.