#she went full Homer Simpson on him

[percabething]

Is It Over Now?

Pairing: Conrad Fisher x reader

Word count: 1.2K

Synopsis: you always thought the worse thing that could happen was losing him, but it was losing you.

warnings: angst, underage drinking, jealous belly, Conrad being low key toxic.

hi hi hi. I’m new in the fanfic side of tumblr and this is my first fic and it’s based on the new Taylor Swift song “Is it over now” ^^. I really hope you guys like this! also english is NOT my first language so if I made any mistakes I’m so sorry. Enjoy! Also if anyone knows how to enable the request thing pls, pls show me😭

It was the night. Tonight Nicole’s throwing her madly known summer batch. Absolutely everyone was going. You were getting ready with Belly at the Fisher’s. You’ve always loved them, the Fisher’s. You loved that house and you also loved Conrad Fisher.

He, for you, is everything that’s right. You and Conrad have always been close. He is the one you went to when everything was wrong and he always found a way to make everything right. Now here you were getting ready with Belly. You were almost done when both of you heard a knock on the door. It was Jeremiah.

“Are you guys almost done? You guys always take wayy too much time getting ready.”

After that Steven chimes in and says jokingly “Right! And for. What is not like you guys are getting any tonight”. Belly shoves him to the side and rolls her eyes “Shut up Steven, if anything you’re the one not getting any tonight”.

She points to his shoes. His shoes had a drawing of Homer Simpson on them. ��What? The Simpson are so in right now” You laugh at the scenery, but you can’t help but wonder where Conrad is.

“Steven, have you seen Conrad?” You ask.

“Um, he was downstairs just a bit ago.”

“Oh.” you said.

You couldn’t help noticing the way Belly’s head turned when you mentioned Conrad. “I've got to, um get my hairbrush i think i left it in the living room, i'll be right back” you said standing up and getting out of the door. Belly’s eyes following your body as you close the door behind you.

Once you’re downstairs you see Conrad. He has his feet in the pool and he’s smoking. A habit he’s been feeding into way too much in your opinion. You walk out and sit next to him.

“Hey.”

You said. You and Conrad were always so different. You were this combination that just worked perfectly. But this summer it has been so different.

“Hey.” he says back. Not trying to continue the conversation.

“So.. are you going to Nicole's thing, you know with us?” You said turning your face to face his side profile. He looked so beautiful. His blue eyes shining as the moon reflected on them.

“Yeah, just for a bit though” The last part made you curious. Conrad Fisher was someone who couldn’t resist a hell of a good party and for some reason this summer he was so out of touch with everyone and everything, and you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt you the way he’s been brushing you and everyone he loves, away.

“Well, I don't think you should leave the party early.” You turned your body to the front and looked up to the moon. It was a full moon tonight. As you were looking up, Conrad was staring at you the whole time. His eyes focused on the way your lips looked so good with that maroon lipstick you had on. How that eyeshadow that you were wearing made your eyes pop up. In his eyes, you looked like the moon.

“You know I read somewhere that on full moon days, you have 63% to meet your soulmate.” As you said that, you turned to look back at him and noticed how he was staring at you. His lips formed a half smirk.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” You said chuckling and the two of you laughed when you heard someone walking into you guys direction. It was Belly. She looked at you and Conrad together and took a heavy breath.

“We’re leaving so..” Conrad took his feet out of the pool and put on his sandals and without even turning to you, he followed Belly out. It was always like this with Conrad, some days you and him would have a connection but then he was reminded that belly existed.

All of you guys arrived, the place was absolutely packed. Quickly you guys separated. Belly was with Nicole and her friends and you tagged along since, you really didn't know anyone from this scene.

All the time your eyes scanned the room for Conrad. You saw him. He was with a brunette girl with dark brown eyes. She was wearing a green dress with some very cute sandals. In a way the girl he was talking to, reminded you of Belly. In your head you surmised that since she looks so much like Belly he would probably date her.

To get your head off him, you started talking to this guy, you couldn’t even remember his name all you knew was that both of you were in a very intense make out session and that you could definitely taste straight up tequila in his mouth. You opened your eyes and Conrad was looking at you as he took a sip of his beer. He quickly looked away, and that’s it. You couldn’t keep your tongue down this random dude's throat. You stopped him and told him that you were going to the bathroom. You cleaned the smushed lipstick from the sides of your lips.

You knew Conrad and you were never meant to be. But sometimes you don't understand. Were you the only one who felt the sparks whenever your eyes would lock in crowded rooms? You got out of the bathroom and you decided, since this night was kinda sucking and you couldn’t get your mind off Conrad, to get drunk as fuck.

To help me loosen up. You told yourself.

It was one drink, after another. You were having the time of your life. Dancing and talking to people. You were the best thing at this party. You were dancing to every song that came on. Until you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Conrad and Belly were talking. And usually you wouldn’t give that much thought into it, you knew they’ve known each other since they were babies. But this wasn’t a normal conversation. Conrad was leaning into the wall and Belly was laughing at whatever the hell he was saying. He whispered something in her ear and when he backed up Belly leaned in and kissed him.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. Your mind was traveling to so many places you didn’t even know what to do. You were sweaty, and drunk and now completely heartbroken. You passed in front of them. You made eye contact with both of them.

“Fuck you.” You said to Conrad.

And to Belly, you couldn’t even say anything. It was like the words just got stuck on your throat and couldn’t get out of there. So you just looked at her and got the hell out of there. You didn’t have a ride. So, you went to the beach and sat on the sand.

You hated that the only thought you had was to get in the water and scream and drown just to see Conrad running and say the one thing you’ve been wanting. Which was that he loved you.

But he didn’t. So you sat there. And sunk your feet in the sand and didn’t call anyone. Not your mother, or any friend. Just you and the ocean thinking. It 's over now.

[kob131]

So heard of the Teraleaks for Pokemon? NGL Feel really bad about that employee that got phished to have this released. The leak itself was whatever but the hacker outright doxxing them was shitty.

On another note, highlights include Cyrus of Team Galactic being confirmed autistic in his character bio (IIRC they flat out use that exact word too), Beta Lickylicky's full design finally being uncovered, a TON of unreleased Pokemon lore and background being unearthed especially around Arceus, scrapped GameFreak games, and possibly leaks for Pokemon Legends ZA

Also, apparently there's some Pokemon Concept art that's drawn in a very different style than what we know, a lot darker and realistic looking imo. It looks like Gen 3 or 4 was gonna have a different vibe than what we got initially it looks like.

I saw this in passing, let's actually delve into this.-

-Hulk Hogan is partially the inspiration for Drayden

... Not since James being a partial reference point for Homer Simpson have I ever taken such psychic damage in this manner.

-Huh, so Cyrus just might be autistic. Maybe. There seems to have been a community note but it got removed. I dunno. Assuming he is-

I'll take it. He's not a fucking moron like Archie/Maxie, he's not contradictory and boring like Lysandre and he's got some level of depth unlike Giovanni. And yeah, I get it. The conflict of thinking in an excessively logical way but feeling such intense emotions. This is a win.

-I guess those Fakemon designs aren't that bad, considering so many just look like Beta Pokemon.

-That uh...that creation myth was something. Someone in Game Freak is a HUGE mythology nerd cuz that whole thing had the same feeling as learning about the creation myth of Chaos. ALso somewhat implies the pseudo-Legendaries ARE in fact 'pseudo-Legendaries'

Though note- No Giritina mentioned. So this likely isn't canon.

-Yeah, those are some realistic looking concepts. Especially that beta Cacturne. Kinda glad they didn't go this route because A. looks good but doesn't fit Pokemon's style. B. The style we did get was far more cohesive with older Pokemon. And C. Would work better as an independent monster collector built around this concept. As in- Pokemon did NOT need to dominant ANOTHER aspect of monster collecting.

Also not surprising- Gen 4 had a lot of sharper, more adult-like designs like Gallade or Electrivire.

-'A game about raising and fighting bugs. You can also fuse them' Cool concept, Game Freak. If you do this, please do it without using Pokemon. Again, we don't need Pokemon consuming MORE of it's genre. ... Look, I value the distinction between Pokemon and SMT VERY heavily.

-So looks like Pokemon has been eyeing cutting the Pokedex since Gen 3. Reminds me of the Foxacade video where he said something similar (that their best bet to do this was back in Gen 3). Also shows ideas for what would become Mega Evolution, Dynamax and Gholdengo back in 2000.

P.S. 'They tried to make a game simple but included the REGIS?!' Dude, we went from themes of letting go of past glory and moving on to two dunderheads who failed fourth grade biology.

-So they knew people were gonna go crazy for Skyla. Always thought she was...specially made. Also explains why I keep seeing Shadow in my research.

-... And yet these stories are still better implementation of adult themes than Palworld.

On a serious note- What is up with that fucking Slaking story?

-I don't see any ZA info other than some passing info on Gen 10. Which really sucks for the developers- they're likely getting crunched still and now their hard work that they could deliver with maximum impact using good marketing is now just laid bare for everyone to mock them over.

-Lastly: It's not bad enough some poor grunt accidentally leaked a massive amount of info, likely getting him blacklisted from Japan's video gaming industry but they also had to get their info released so they can get blacklisted everywhere else AND mocked for it?

I don't care much for or against leaks but come on, have some decorum.

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

05/26/2024 – 06/01/2024

Sunday

Week 16 of missing Cipher Academy

Had outdoor activities again this weekend so I didn’t get much manga reading in, but I did start watching The Simpsons for the first time ever. I guess it’s one of those shows where it’s so legendary that I figure I should check it out, and it’s been fine so far. It’s gotten a few chuckles out of me, but I’ve gotta say that Homer is the weakest link for me right now. I don’t mind “lovable but bumbling idiot” type of characters, but he’s not particularly lovable to me currently…especially with the back to back episodes of Marge almost having an affair before backing out and Homer having his picture taken with an exotic dancer…it just never feels like Homer truly earns his redemption to me. My favourite sitcom of all time is Malcolm in the Middle, so it’s hard not to compare the two couples and see how Hal and Lois treated each other kinder and more fairly.

Monday

Akuheki fine…I’ll save my full thoughts for the ending but it’s not looking good, folks.

Girl Meets Rock good, love the teen drama. I’m a bit sad that it looks like it’s going to be a girl band vs boy band rivalry because co-ed bands are so rare in manga, but it is what it is.

Oshi no Ko fine…as expected, they’re pulling the punches and steering the story back to mainstream appealable normalcy, even sanding off the complication of Goro being an adult surrounded by previously teenage love interests by separating Goro from Aqua entirely. I don’t know, it feels a little cowardly I guess…it feels like they had stuff like the incest pseudo-age gap as a hook and a vehicle for both comedy and drama, but when they had to confront the logical endpoints of these ethical dilemmas, they just backed away completely and gave us a bunch of rationalizations to make the course correction as palatable as possible… I would’ve preferred that they just went for it, it would’ve made for a more unique and interesting story…but whatever…I’m sure everything’s going to end up perfectly happy and normal and I’ll think it’s mid.

Dandadan good, I see now why they introduced that cop as his own character. I’m excited to see how this figures in Zuma’s redemption, because the other kids haven’t really had their parental figures factor in their personal arcs (except maybe Vamola, but in flashback only).

Magilumiere fine. Obviously they were going to have a repeat of what happened to Alice for maximum drama lol

Chainsaw Man fine…? It’ll be peak if something actually happens as a result of this chapter.

One Piece very good…in addition to the massive lore drop, the spread where that one Elder splits the whole cloud in half was very cool.

Tuesday

Read through most of She Who Became the Sun’s second part and aghhhh the pages just fall away like nothing because I’m so engrossed in the political war drama… I’ve become really endeared to Ouyang (he’s such an interesting foil for Zhu) and the inevitably tragic tension between him and Esen (the scene where they drink together had me holding my breath). I appreciate Parker-Chan focusing on both sides of the war and how each faction has their own issues and internal power struggles. I don’t want to see Ouyang or Zhu lose, but their trajectories will inevitably pit them against one another, and it seems that only one will emerge as the victor. I’m also fascinated by Lord Wang – I was genuinely rooting for Esen and Wang’s relationship, but I don’t think they can ever come back from what happened now. But Wang’s shrewdness clashes with the Mongols’ sensibilities in fascinating ways, and I like how he sticks to his own principles no matter how much other people look down on him. Meanwhile, Ma and Zhu’s relationship is also interesting, and I like that Ma is showing Zhu what can lie beyond her base instincts of survival and achieving greatness. I will say that some of the wording does get repetitive at times (I think we get the greatness vs nothingness struggle by now without needing those specific words repeated ad nauseum), and I would’ve liked to actually see the Jiankang battle play out (war arcs can be really fun to watch when done correctly), but oh well. I couldn’t bring myself to read the climax of part two yet because I’m dreading what’s to come, but we’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

OH MY GODDDD WATASHI NO MUSUKO GA ISEKAI TENSEI SHITAPPOI FINALLY UPDATED AFTER SEVEN LONG MONTHS I’VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS DAY and then I read the chapter and regained the pit of dread in my stomach. Mio’s still missing, Doubara’s floundering, and now with Haruji closing in I can feel the seconds ticking down to the bomb exploding…

Wednesday

Rewatched Succession season 4 episode 8 as I made dinner, and I really love how thematically cohesive it is. The episode starts with Tom basically laying out the thesis to us: information is power, and it’s important to know when and how to utilize it for maximum effect. This whole election is an information war told from the perspective of a news organization, and it’s so interesting to watch how the dissemination of information and especially misinformation can change the tide of reality. Lies becoming truth is another one of Succession’s main themes, and it’s articulated so well in this episode. From the uncertainty of who started the fire to the Schrödinger’s burned ballots to Roman undercutting Shiv with right wing buzzwords at every turn, it really is all about controlling “the Narrative.” And oh god, when Shiv tries to play the same game and it completely blows up in her face…her biggest misstep was definitely underestimating Greg. Shiv’s always so focused on one-upping her family members that she neglects Tom and by extension Greg, and she has no idea how entrenched Greg has become in all the spheres of power that surround them. (Conversely, Tom is hyperaware of this, having had a hand in raising Greg into the slimeball we see today.) Greg even gives her a chance to offer something of value to him, but Shiv just resorts to empty threats of violence and weird wordplay and all of it is downright cringe (and I like that you can see Greg thinking this too, as he just kind of just scoffs rather than cower like he did in their first interaction four whole seasons ago). And when it came down to it, Shiv failed to control the flow of information (not considering Ken’s connection with Nate nor Greg’s involvement) and it all came crashing down around her…and that being reflected in the election is so genius.

Finished Simpsons season 1 and it was pretty okay. I like seeing the world expand and being introduced to new recurring characters who inhabit Springfield. I really liked Krusty Gets Busted, just a fun little mystery episode and it’s funny how intellectual and well-spoken Sideshow Bob is. I think Bart and Lisa are my favourite characters, and it was really cute to see Bart care about Krusty and eventually prove his innocence.

Got to the end of part 2 of She Who Became the Sun and wow…I was initially a little put off by Zhu intentionally inflicting biological warfare on her own soldiers in order to avoid taking a side in the incoming coup, but I guess it was her only real option…it seemed uncharacteristically callous at first read, though. I loved that the climax to part 2 was Zhu and Ouyang’s confrontation. After all the build-up and shifts in power on both sides of the conflict, having these two foils finally clash was amazing. Not only are they both invested in/representatives of their respective sides, but their conflict was also so personal and meaningful. It can be difficult to write a high-stakes fight in which your protagonist loses but doesn’t die, and I like the resolution here of Ouyang cruelly aiming to disfigure Zhu and subject her to a life of scorn rather than an honourable death (I’m sure Zhu won’t be deterred so easily, though).

Thursday

DunMesh episode with a side of the same thing I had last Thursday, but it wasn’t as good as last time. The food, that is, because the episode was amazing and so so funny. I love all of Marcille’s weird movements as she tries to control the familiars, the gags about the shape of the familiars, and the final punchline of eating them. Just a perfect comedy episode.

Started Simpsons season 2 today, and I’ve gotta say, the writing has gotten a lot better. Homer’s more likeable, for one thing, but also the episodes feel tighter and more deserving of the reputation that they still have today. I can see why even I knew about the Bart Gets an F episode despite never having seen Simpsons before.

Friday

Ummm

Saturday

Watched the latest Smartypants episode, and to be honest the first two powerpoints felt like just normal educational presentations despite their wacky subject matter, but it was still entertaining to watch. But I really appreciated Raphael for being the first one to actually embody a character giving a presentation, and his was my favourite of the episode.

[avionvadion]

Just got BG3 for the PS5… I can’t believe it only took me two days worth of gameplay to not only get high approval for Astarion, but I was propositioned by him literally on my second day! That scene where you and him… get INTIMATE… *faints* Oh Lawd I think I’m coming down with a case of the vapors! *fans self* (Though funny thing Lae’zel propositioned me first and I went full Homer Simpson on her, “Wait a minute is she coming on to me?”)

Lae’zael comes at you out of NOWHERE. 🤣 I was so startled first playthrough. I wasn’t expecting it at all.

And yesssss, romance that man with the red puppy eyes!!!! It’s what he deserves. 🥺💕

[slickbackdani]

Man, this takes me back to the days when I worked in fast food::

One guy showed up in a pirate costume for Halloween

A family showed up with their pet pig; when I announced over the headset that there was a pig in the back seat, my coworkers thought I was making a rude remark about the family’s child

An old lady who complained and demanded a refund because her French fries were “too hard”

A polite old lady who briefly stopped the proceedings to talk to me about the Bible and the Founding Fathers

An old lady who complained about the price of a large Coke, and when I explained that it included the tax, she grumbled "that's right, we're in Taxachusetts." The tax wasn’t even a full dollar

This was not an uncommon occurrence. SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE complained to me about the prices as if I had any control over them or as if we were asking for their life savings that I turned one of my favorite Frasier quotes ("I see we have ANOTHER member of the Price Club") into a meme among my coworkers

An old man who looked like Woodrow Wilson and didn’t wear pants

A guy who called me Batman for no discernible reason; I handed him his change, and he said “thanks, Batman” before driving up. In response to hearing that story, no fewer than three people responded by telling me I look like a young Michael Keaton

An old guy who looked like Steve Bannon wearing a ratty brown hoodie and Homer Simpson pajama pants; tried to change his order in the middle of paying — as in, while he was handing me the money — and when I called over a manager to change the order, the customer shouted "GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK" and drove off. Five minutes later, he entered the front of the store and leaned on the counter, recording us on his phone until the manager threatened to call the cops on him

A guy who looked like PC Principal who apparently ordered his meal from home but was late picking it up because he was busy putting his kids to sleep. He insisted that his meal should be free because he was half an hour late getting it even though A: that whole "thirty minutes or it's free" thing stopped existing outside of cartoons decades ago and B: even if it did still exist, it would be inapplicable here because that rule is only for if the restaurant is late delivering the food to you; since you were the one who was late picking it up, that's on you and we don't owe you a goddamn thing. He argued with the manager for several minutes about this, never once breaking out of his smarmy-white-douche monotone voice the whole time

A middle-aged blonde woman in a white SUV with her toddler daughter in the front seat. Her order came out to $14, but she tried to change it at the last minute in hopes of bumping it down to $12. When the employees didn’t realize this and instead made the price go up, I informed them she wanted the meal change specifically to make the price go down. One of my coworkers made an exasperated remark that the customer somehow overheard, well… shit went DOWN. This lady — this 40-something grown-ass woman — had a complete and total fucking MELTDOWN, she sat at the window for HALF A GODDAMNED HOUR screaming at everyone unlucky enough to enter her field of vision, and demanding the phone number for our corporate headquarters before my manager pacified her by giving her her meal for free. She left… then came back five minutes later and just… sat in the parking lot, not doing anything for 10 minutes before leaving. As the car drove away, I could swear I saw her daughter giving us the middle finger through the window

Working on fast food I’ve met a lot of different people, especially when I worked overnights. Here are some of the customers I remember the best (some of them I still see around):

An actual Nazi with a swastika tattooed on his thumb. I always make sure he’s charged more when he comes through.

A guy who asked me to cum in his ice cream.

Two seperate old guys who harassed me while I used the bathroom. One gif banned for being racist to the cashiers up front, the other one tried to break into my stall.

A tired, bruised woman who seemed a bit on edge. There was a guy passed out next to her in the car. She told me to keep the change (it was a lot) and drove off. I never saw her again.

A woman who broke down sobbing because her daughter who had recently died of cerebral palsy loved the rain, and it was raining out.

A man who pulled up while on the phone and loudly shouted into it, “What do you mean I have AIDS?! …Is it the good kind?”

A dude on drugs who choked me against a wall because he thought I made a pass at his sister, smashed a window, got into a fistfight with a manager, and begged the cops to beat him to death when they showed up.

A couple who were exceptionally rude and harassed me, then tried to stalk me home. They got banned.

A drag queen who always wanted extra sauce. I gave it to them free even though the store I was at charged for it.

A kid with a confederate flag hat or shirt (this was over a decade ago, I can’t remember which). I gave him free sauce because I felt bad for him. If I saw him today, I’d charge him twice.

An anti-vaxxer who flipped out because we couldn’t do half hot, half iced water, got out of her car, and demanded to know what my problem was.

The main character of life, who came at a busy time, honked at everyone, and demanded I get a manager to move the line somehow.

A lady with massive breasts that were practically exploding out of her shirt who complained to a manager I was rude to her because I explained how a coupon worked.

A customer whose order was exactly correct, still asked for a manager, and then complained to the manager how I was rude because he overheard me explain to the manager I wasn’t sure what the problem was.

An old man who frequented the drive thru and was entirely innocuous until the day he harassed a woman to the point she was in tears and shaking.

An old guy who consistently pays for his order entirely with change and always drives off before I can count it. He is consistently short ten to twenty cents.

A man who insisted we served pizza.

A guy who tried to order lo mein.

A nice, sweet old Asian man whose initials are “KKK.” He’s one of my favorite customers.

A person whose name is “Barbarian.” Another favorite.

A person named “Icelyn Snow.” Yet another favorite.

A woman who comes through with her cats. Another fav.

A lady who came through with her pet skunk.

A guy with a bearded dragon in his cup holder.

An old man who held the line up for ten minutes because we don’t accept any bills over twenties. He insisted we legally had to and refused to budge even after two managers and I explained the rules to him, and who we had to walk around to get other customers. He finally left after the police were called.

A bunch of kids who jumped a teen in the lobby and ripped her earring out. There was blood on the floor.

A guy who tried to come through while being chased by cops. He caused an officer to chip a wall with their car before escaping.

A guy wit a studded hat that said “Hentai” with an ahegao seat cover to go with it.

A guy who insisted the confederacy weren’t losers and that they were making a comeback.

A guy who tried to hustle us out of ten bucks. I caught him, but he kept insisting I owed him money. He came back months later still yelling about it; I pretended to not know what he was talking about.

A man who came back through after being given sweet tea he was told was sweetened artificially (he and his wife were diabetic). Despite having to take his wife to the hospital due to high blood sugar, all he wanted was his tea fixed and an apology. I apologized profusely. My coworker insisted he was lying for free stuff.

[spyroforlife]

A lovely commission of Zim getting choked out by Tak for @flyb0yy

it’s nice to see them working out their issues

[twistedtummies2]

The Devils I Know - Number 31

Welcome to “The Devils I Know!” For this spooky time of year, from now till Halloween, I’ll be counting down My Top 31 Depictions of the Devil, from movies, television, video games, and more! Today’s Devil is a real Metal-head. Number 31 is…Beelzebot, a.k.a. The Robot Devil, from Futurama.

“Futurama,” I must admit, isn’t a show I’m mega familiar with. In fact, full confession time…I actually don’t usually watch a lot of adult cartoons. Family Guy, The Simpsons, American Dad, Robot Chicken, South Park…I’ve seen bits and pieces of all of them, but I’ve never really been that into such programs. I don’t really know why: it’s not the humor, I don’t think, because I’ve definitely gotten a giggle out of various stuff from all of them. But for some reason, I’ve just never cared about any of them enough to give them a thorough look. “Futurama” is no exception…but it’s one I’ve come the CLOSEST to liking a whole lot. In fact, alongside “The Simpsons,” it’s the only animated show of this variety I’ve ever watched full episodes of, and many of the episodes I’ve looked at are the ones featuring this character.

The Robot Devil (voiced by Homer Simpson himself, Dan Castellaneta, with one episode’s exception) is one of two examples on this countdown of a character who isn’t necessarily THE Devil, de-facto and straight on, and more a Devil for a specific group. (Technically three characters, if you count Lucia from the Honorable Mentions yesterday.) Beelzebot is a robotic demon who commands Robot Hell, which is…exactly what it sounds like. Robot Hell, incidentally, is accessed via a creepy old abandoned amusement park in New Jersey…because of course it is. Beelzebot is a recurring antagonist in the show; he seems to be the secondary villain, after the perennial pain known as “Mom,” and he’s definitely one of my favorite characters in the program. Flamboyant, theatrical, and often childish, he is nevertheless a cunning and ruthless trickster: by his own admission, the only character who could rival him on the evil scale, at least among robots, is probably Bender. (No surprise there.) I love all the references to other Devils throughout this character’s run. Not only is his appearance obviously modeled after the stereotypical Devil we all see around Halloween, and not only does he have a crafty personality befitting the master of evil, but even just little quirks about him are directly influenced by other Devil-related pieces. His love of opera is a reference to the MANY operatic versions of Faust; his love of playing the fiddle (which is made of gold) is a reference to the song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia;” the list goes on. There’s really not much more to say about this one: the Robot Devil is just a fun and funny take on the idea, and definitely earns some kudos in the Top 31.  

Tomorrow, the countdown officially continues with Number 30! HINT: She’s one bad kitty.

[raeynbowboi]

The Simpsons as a DnD Party

While the later seasons have been a slow, agonizing descent into mediocrity, it’s worth remembering that before The Simpsons blew out their insides and collapsed in on themselves that they were once the most beloved TV family of all time. So, it’s worth seeing how the family would do as a DnD party. Granted, the simpsons lack powers. The closet they get to powers is Lisa in the Simpsons video game being able to call forth the hand of Buddha. So, I’ll be basing their classes more on their personalities.

Homer Simpson Path of the Berserker Barbarian

If Homer is known for anything, it’s his gluttony, his stupidity, and his anger problems. All the hallmarks of a classic barbarian. Of the Barbarian subclasses, however, really only the Berserker fit for Homer. This is rather fitting as it not only lacks any flashy gimmicks, it also makes Homer tired if he goes into a full on frenzy, leading Homer to sleep off his fit of rage.

Marge Simpson Peace Domain Cleric

I debated between Cleric and Paladin for Marge, but ultimately, I went with Cleric, as Paladins are more violent than Clerics. I considered Life and Order as possible domain choices, as Life would keep her family alive, and Order would enforce lawfulness within the party, but then I remembered Marge vs Itchy and Scratchy, when Marge opposed violence in children’s entertainment. This has been a longstanding trait of Marge’s, objecting to violence and aggression. As such, I decided on Peace. Not only because they prefer pacifism, but because it better allows Marge to be the peacekeeper in the family.

Bart Simpson Fiend Patron Warlock

I know many assume Bart would be a rogue, and I understand why. He’s a mischievous little troublemaker firmly on the Chaotic spectrum. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that rogue is the best fit for Bart. Sneaking around and ambushing enemies is hardly Bart’s style. He’s also not exactly good at anything other than maybe lying and telling jokes. He’s hardly a great candidate for roguish expertise. He’d go for something flashy, especially if it’s handed to him with very little effort. Knowing his flaws, it’s well within Bart’s character make a bad decision like signing a contract with a demon with very little thought about the consequences, as Bart has often taken the easy way out. Bart has frequently also been compared to the antichrist, or just treated like someone destined for Hell in the afterlife, so pairing Bart up with a fiend as his patron seems only fitting for this little hellspawn.

Lisa Simpson College of Lore Bard

I strongly debated with myself whether Lisa was a wizard with performance proficiency or a bard with a high INT stat, but I finally landed on bard, and for two reasons: 1. Lisa may define herself by her grades, but music has always been her passion. 2. Bards get expertise. Even at a base INT 0, a Bard with expertise in INT checks would still eventually roll higher INT checks than a maxed-INT Wizard with proficiency in the same stat. I chose Lore because it seemed the most fitting, as Lore bards collect stories, rumors, myths, and information, which seemed fitting for Lisa’s intelligence.

Maggie Simpson Assassin Archetype Rogue

While easily overlooked, that’s actually a good thing for a rogue. People tend to ignore or underestimate her, right up until the moment when she takes them out. Maggie by far has the highest kill count of any member of the Simpsons, going all the way back to the “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” plotline. Despite her young age, Maggie has frequently demonstrated cunning, resourcefulness, and a sense of wisdom beyond her years that works perfectly with the roguish expertise. I chose Assassin because like an assassin, Maggie fares best when people don’t expect anything from her, and she’s not as effective against opponents in a straight fight.

[trivialbob]

Today I tried explaining something to my workaholic coworker. She was supposed to be on PTO. Yet she worked all day, because she was “behind” in some things.

Me? I took a 90 minute lunch.

I really hope she wakes up at 2:00 AM Sunday morning and grunts a great big Homer Simpson “Doh!” when she realizes she’s been totally overthinking a problem on which we’re working.

Think of adding 5 and 5. You all shout “Bob! It’s 10!”  Yes. But my coworker is trying to calculate a square root, then multiplying by pi.

After work I took the dogs for a walk around Lake Harriet. Half of the sailboats have flown south for the winter. Or simply been parked in south Minneapolis back yards before the lake freezes. For a while I walked next to a woman who had an Aussie that looked like Oliver. We chatted about Aussies for a bit then went our separate ways. People who have Aussies are cool. Except @littlerunnergurl who is a dork. Her four Aussies are cool though. Their names are Rosie, Jazmine, Granola, and Dude, if I remember correctly.

My wife is out of town tonight for a pickle ball tournament. When I’m home alone I enjoy walking to the neighborhood tavern for a light meal. Bob of 10 years ago would be aghast at the idea of going to a bar alone, sitting AT the bar, and talking to the strangers on either side. But that is indeed what I did. And I liked it.

The guy to my left was there by himself too, but kind of acted like he was there with everyone. He was a bit of a tool. No, that’s not fair. He was a character. Loud people can still be nice.

Several times he went outside to smoke. Saving his spot at the bar was a full beer and a pair of Oakleys. Each time he returned from outside he reeked stronger and stronger of Winston Lights and cologne.

Siri was busy making phone calls for him. To me it sounded like he might be a realtor. Then he told someone he lived in the (not luxury) apartments across the street. I wouldn’t expect a realtor to rent. When he made light conversation with me (between important phone calls) he was a pleasant guy.

After a beer and a serving of loaded fries I walked home via the nearby liquor store. Passing the hardware store I saw that autumn’s flower assortment was supplemented by many pumpkins. Like the flowers, the pumpkins don’t get pulled inside at night. I love that trust.

Now I’m settled in my couch enjoying a Bent Paddle Black Ale. A 12-year-old boy across the street is practicing piano. He’s very good. All our windows are open. The live music is nice. I don’t have any desire to turn on the TV or music of my own.

[compo67]

Are you still working on the time travel AU?

Hi, anon!

Oh my goodness, thank you for asking. The short answer is yes. The long answer is below the cut.

Letter to Follow is a J2 AU fic I've posted on Patreon as part of bonus content. It will be housed on Patreon until completed in full, where it will then transition to AO3, just like any other bonus Patreon fic in the past. It's at about 30,000 words and 50% finished, so it's a long fic, slow burn.

LTF takes place in Naples, Italy, 1985, where Dr. Jensen Ross, Distinguished Professor of Physics, works at the prestigious University of Naples. Jensen is a respected faculty member and expert in his field, and he specializes in particle physics. He often works with his colleage, Dr. Haji Siqqidui. She keeps Jensen balanced and integrates him into her family. One day, Dr. Jared Padalecki, of New York City, shows up, ready to start his sabbatical and write a book about the history of physics and engineering in Naples. Jared holds two PhDs--engineering and history--and teaches at NYU. At first, Jensen dislikes Jared's outgoing, "American" personality. But the more time they spend together, the more they explore Naples, the closer their bond. This fic takes into account everything going on in/around 1985, including the HIV/AIDS epidemic, the stigma of gay/queer identities/culture, and pop culture. The fic also incorporates pictures and media throughout, sort of like a photo journal. Jensen's working on something new, on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery--but is it really in the name of physics? Or is he working on something more personal?

I love this fic. I love it because it taught me so many new things. I discovered a love of physics. In high school, I was so good at chemistry and math, but only if I had the extra help/guidance. Since I was better at English and the arts--read: it was easier to do--I put all my focus on that. Then I think of the plot to Letter to Follow and wow! All my love for science came rushing back. Let me tell you, dear, that I put so much time and effort into learning and understanding the concepts that Professor Jensen is (madly) in love with--I spent so many hours writing on white boards, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, reading textbooks, and taking notes. I can tell you how a particle collider works. I can map out the Standard Model of Physics.

But.

I can't tell you how time travel works.

And *that* is what I ran into--head first. Ouch.

I thought I could write it away. Every time I worked on LTF, I thought about that Simpsons quote, where Homer wants to make a movie: "It's about a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason. His best friend is a talking pie."

D'oh! How the fuck can it happen? I wanted to go with neutrinos, but then ran into problems there. I thought, okay, let's switch to dark matter. Nope. God particle? Fine. Particle accelerator. Right, but exactly what particles? And how would Jensen access a particle accelerator on par with CERN? Then I read the news about muons and thought--AHA! I gotchu now, physics!

And then my personal life crashed and burned. This is back in September, when I stopped working, went into IOP, and struggled to function. I was also taking a class for grad school and that needed/used up all my attention. From October to November to December, it was hit after hit after hit. I'm only now just standing up, shaky, but there. I thought losing my beta would result in not being able to write anything. But it turns out, wow, I /can/ write on my own. I wrote on my own for years before getting any betas (okay, some of that shows, yikes). Am I always perfect with grammar? Fuck no. Do I always get continuity right? Nope. But do I approach these verses and characters with enthusiasm and love? Hell yes, I do.

For a while, I thought LTF wasn't worth finishing because... it's different than any other fic I've written. There's no a/b/o or mpreg. Not a lot of smut and it's a slow burn. Jensen is very dry in this verse, and increasingly affected by the stress of his work.

But I found the answer: Jared. I'll be switching the POV to Jared going forward. So the first half of the fic will be Jensen's POV--extremely necessary and sets us up well with physics content and side characters. The second half of the fic will be Jared's POV--extremely necessary and sets us up well with the engineering side of physics and the modern era.

This way, dear anon, I do *not* have to figure out the specifics of time travel and I get to play to my strengths with content about engineering, HIV, and culture. Jared is a pip in this verse. He compliments Jensen very well. I can't believe the answer was there this whole time. Now, I don't need to stress over the fact that it's actually really hard to come up with a plausible approach to time travel. Like, really, really hard. I reached out to two particle physicists and even with their guidance, could not put the puzzle together in a way that made a stronger argument/sense.

I know it might sound silly that I expected myself to solve time travel or come up with such a detailed, plausible explanation for it, just for a fic. But that's the kind of writer I am. That's the kind of person I am. The pandemic hit just as I had booked a visit to the Fermi Lab. It's still not open to visitors. I wanted to create something that wasn't "a wizard did it" or "black holes! lolololol." (Please, don't ever attempt to time travel through a black hole. Yikes.)

I did this kind of thing with It Takes a lot of Water and wanted to improve upon it. But I had a lot of self-doubt: did people even like this fic? Are my readers interested and engaged? Is Jensen too dry? Too boring?

But the more content I've consumed surrounding physics--and the more physicists I've spoken to--I understand that this narrative is actually pretty accurate.

So. There you have it. Short answer yes. Long answer yes, I just need to come back to it. I need a reread, a refresher, and a walk through of my notes. I need to believe in myself again that I can balance more than one WIP.

Thank you for the interest, anon. You've re-lit my engagement with this fic and I appreciate that so much. <3

-Cal

[pascalls]

Gazebo of Horrors

Charlie enjoys a Halloween night with the regulars from the bar, solidifying the holiday as his favorite for a number of reasons.

Feat. Lisa, Lenny, Carl, Moe, Barney, Sam, and Larry

Author’s Note: This one’s gay.

---------------

Charlie couldn’t remember the last time he had a decent night’s sleep. Twisting and turning in his sleeping spot, he was uncomfortably warm. Trapped in the middle of a nightmare, Charlie felt sweat bead at his forehead and the sound of someone giving chase. He ran, unable to outpace whatever it was that was at his heels, sharp, pointed ends of something metallic scraping the concrete as it jabbed at his tail. Only when he turned did he realize that whatever it was looked a lot like Ned Flanders…

He awoke with a start as a clang on the metal outside of his impromptu napping place broke him from his fitful slumber. He sat up, only just pausing before hitting his head on the plastic ‘roof’. Reaching up, he pushed it up and away, peering out and ready to shoot a glare at whoever happened to interrupt his rest when he noticed that it was already evening. Blinking away the remainder of his sleep, he weighed his options. Go back to sleep until morning? Slink out and back to Lovejoy’s before his absence was noticed? 

“Nurse Walker?”

The voice startled him slightly as he turned, spying the familiar face of Lisa Simpson who seemed to be staring at him quizzically. As if he’d grown another head. 

“Were you… sleeping in there?” She asked, pointing at the metal dumpster that Charlie had  emerged from. Astute as ever, he thought. 

“...I might’ve been,” he replied, about to come up with some sort of excuse for why he’d chosen such a place to hide away and nap, but she provided a fantastic distraction as he took in what she was wearing. Definitely not her usual outfit. “...What are you wearing?” 

“Oh!” Lisa grinned with enthusiasm, spreading her arms out and doing a little twirl to show off her clothes; a purple dress with yellow flowers in her hair and a small veil-like addition trailing behind her. “I’m Ada Lovelace! The first ever computer programmer. She was an English mathematician who totally blew Charles Babbage away by utilizing his Analytical Engine in ways he never even thought of.” 

The information sailed right over Charlie’s head, but as he leaned out of his dumpster bed, he watched her with a little smile. Ah, she would go places. Hopefully not into a dumpster like him. But as she spoke, his brain began to putter back to life. Wait. Costume? He glanced down to her hands which held a bag that had to have been half full by then. Full of candy?

His attention drifted to the nearby street as he noted that Lisa was not the only one in unusual garb. Nearby, he heard the telltale voices of Bart, Milhouse, and yes, even Nelson as they presumably trailed along ahead of Lisa. And it was about then that he realized - Oh. 

“...It’s Halloween,” he said, interrupting Lisa’s drawn out explanation of said ‘analytical engine’ and how tragic it was that Lovelace had died at such a young age. Though she was a little frustrated at having been cut off, she responded with a nod. 

“Yeah. Are you gonna dress up as anything?”

Charlie blinked down at her once or twice. Thinking that over. Well. No. Because he hadn’t even remembered that Halloween was a thing. Until just now. But thinking that through even further, Charlie recognized that he dressed up like it was Halloween every damn day. Which meant that… Maybe… Just maybe…

“...No!” He proclaimed, taking a moment to get his legs under him to spring himself out of the dumpster, landing with a rather pleased expression on his face next to Lisa. “For once, I am not dressing up as a damn thing!” 

“Huh. I guess you don’t have to!” Lisa said as she looked him over with a little smile. “It’s like you have a built in costume.” 

“For once, being a terrible, horrible abomination to society is going to pay off, my intelligent little friend.” Reaching down, he gave her a gentle pat on the head and then nudged her in the direction of her brother’s fading voice. “Go on! I’m gonna find some trouble to get up to while I have the damn chance, for once.” 

Lisa didn’t argue. And she made a mental note to herself to not tell anyone that she’d found the normally downtrodden nurse holed up in the trash. He… probably didn’t need that floating around about him. So she gave him a little wave before running after the others, calling for them to wait for her.

Charlie, meanwhile, was rooted to the spot as his mind raced with possibilities. He could do… SO MUCH now. He could go to the store. He could see a movie. He could just WALK AROUND. And nobody would give a second thought about it! For the briefest of moments, he felt… powerful. He could do anything he wanted-

A nearby screech of tires nearly made him jump back and away from the street as the ugly pink sedan that Charlie instantly recognized as Homer’s came to a stop in front of him. The man himself leaned out from the driver’s seat, grinning widely at Charlie as he called out. 

“Hey NURSE! Nice rabbit costume!” Homer yelled. It was clear he’d already had a drink or two, but so had the other six men that were crammed both inside and on the roof of the car. The bar must have been closed, as Charlie noted that the regulars were accompanying Homer on his Halloween joy ride. Lenny, Carl, and Moe sat on the car’s roof, hastily hanging on - presumably, for dear life whenever Homer started driving again - while Barney, Sam, and Larry were crammed inside. Each of them had their own drink in hand and Charlie could hear the clatter of more cans along the car’s floor. They had gotten an early start on the drinking, apparently. 

“Hey Charlie! We’re drivin’ down to Flanders’ to egg his house and knock over his mailbox,” Moe called down to the hybrid. 

“Remind me why we’re doin’ that?” Carl asked, shaking the can in its hand to check its content level. He would need another one soon.

“Be-CAUSE, it’s FLANDERS,” Homer grunted from the front seat. “What more reason do you need???”

“Can’t argue with that!” Lenny had no objections, apparently. And neither did anyone else. Least of all, Charlie.

“Hell yes, I do. Open one of those things for me, will you?” Charlie said with delight as he hopped over, pleased that none of the men seemed to give two shits as to what he looked like as he clambered up and onto the roof of the sedan. In fact, he wasn’t the only one in the festive mood. Homer had made an attempt at being some kind of vampire, but had apparently given up halfway, tying a black shirt around his neck as a cape and smearing what looked like red jelly around his mouth. Lenny and Carl had swapped outfits, Moe would later on describe his usual attire as being ‘the scariest thing you could see in 2020’, and Barney had simply taken a shower and put on a different shirt. A frightening prospect. Larry did not seem to get the costume memo and Sam had mostly his usual attire, except his overshirt shirt was a red checkered plaid pattern instead in a relatively lazy impromptu lumberjack look. 

Charlie felt as though he fit right in, tipping back his head as he downed his first beer and digging his claws into the roof of the car as Homer drove off towards Ned’s. 

As the night went on and Homer’s merry gang of troublemakers stirred up more than enough chaos to fill several Halloween nights with, Charlie found himself laughing, yelling, and being raucous right along with them. There was no shortage of eggs thrown, toilet paper left in the branches of overhanging trees, nor did he turn down the candy they’d nabbed from some of the neighborhood bullies. Charlie considered it teaching them a lesson. They’d live. And while he didn’t normally imagine that he’d pal around with Moe’s regulars to this extent, he had a hard time convincing himself that he wasn’t having more fun than he’d had in ages. At one point, he could have sworn that they passed both the reverend and his wife. What he wouldn’t give to see if Tim had noticed that he was not interested in coming home on time that night...

By the time they’d finished their route around Springfield - and Homer was too drunk to keep driving and not smash into something along the way - the men abandoned the pink carriage in favor of staggering into the nearest park gazebo to lounge around, finish as many of their remaining cans of beer as they could, and generally be a public nuisance. Luckily, they weren’t the only ones out and about, which meant that Chief Wiggum was not likely to break up their after party. Which was just as well. Charlie didn’t need any reason for him to have to return to Lovejoy’s tonight. Nah. He was having way too much fun, even in the sleepy drunken haze that threatened to overtake him as the clock neared midnight. 

“I didn’t expect you to actually loosen up like that.” 

Charlie glanced up from his tenth - or eleventh? - beer, locking eyes with Sam who had staggered over to sit on the steps of the gazebo next to Charlie. Inhibitions gone, Charlie didn’t mind the company. Lenny and Carl were not far away, but seemed to be discussing whether or not a uranium rod would float if placed delicately in a vat of beer. Homer had passed out about ten minutes prior, and Moe, Barney, and Larry were arguing over who had rights to the last few beers in the cooler. 

“I’d forgotten about Halloween,” Charlie replied with a little smile. “The one night where I don’t have to dress up like some kinda… freak.” He sipped at his beer, not bothered by the terminology at the moment. Might be if he were at all sober. But with his head floating pleasantly, he didn’t mind being a little brazen and honest.

“I bet if you just decided t’say screw it one day, nobody would even notice,” Sam continued, pointing at Charlie with the hand that still held his own beer which was nearing empty. 

“Uh-huh. Then I get thrown into the zoo with the crocodiles and you gotta visit me and bring me booze before I go fuckin’ crazy, right?” Charlie shook his head, but he was amused at the thought. 

“I got plenty to spare.” Sam smirked, shaking his can a little and listening to the liquid slosh back and forth. 

“Aw. You’re sweet.” Charlie brought a hand up to his chest in a fake swoon. “Didn’t know you liked me that much.”

Sam laughed, a low, somewhat gravely sound that made Charlie’s ears twitch with interest. They were one step ahead of his brain which was only just registering that… they might have been flirting. And, now that he recalled… it probably wasn’t the first time. The hybrid had been coming to Moe’s on several nights of the week now, staying out late and risking the reverend’s ire while keeping company with the regulars. And more often than not, Sam was included. While he was moderately amused by Homer, Lenny, and Carl’s general conversations that they had, the three jokers hardly caught his attention. Larry still didn’t speak much, and he wasn’t even going to pretend that Barney was ever good for more than a belch or two before he was sufficiently out for the count. 

But on more than one occasion, Charlie lingered behind with Sam. Sometimes not saying much. Just staring absently at the television above the bar. Maybe swapping stories here and there about Sam’s time on the road or Charlie’s general complaints about both Skinner and Chalmers or the Wiggum boy’s predisposition to sticking sharp objects where he shouldn’t. 

On any other night, Charlie might not have given it much thought. It was dangerous to get too wrapped up in a person. Like he had with Lovejoy. Like he’d stumbled into with Chalmers. Neither of which seemed to give him the feedback he was looking for. And on any other night, that fear might have kept him from going down that same path. But as he listened to Sam’s laugh which made his own mouth tilt upwards into a smile… Well… he couldn’t help it. They were already sitting so close and… Charlie’s head was already spinning and he swore he probably smelled like beer, cigarettes, and maybe eggs, but…

The liquid courage was not one to be ignored. He held his breath and leaned forward, catching Sam’s lips with his own in a soft, but purposeful kiss. He willed himself to not pay attention to anything - except maybe the faint sound of blaring music somewhere off in the distance - hoping against hope that he was not going to be pushed away. 

And he wasn’t.

But he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing either. 

He broke the kiss after a moment or two, pulling back as his ears pinned themselves against his hair and he let out a little nervous laugh. Sam’s expression was unreadable. Clearly, he’d been caught off guard, staring at Charlie in surprise and… the hybrid didn’t know what else. But even in his drunken state, his heart pounded with fear and he glanced away.

“Sorry. Uh. Forget that happened. I have had… woof. One too many… hah…” 

His feet wanted him to run, but with so much alcohol in his system, he doubted he would get very far before tripping over his own tail. So there he sat, pointedly looking away and off into the distance, rubbing at his face in exasperation at his own stupid, desperate antics. His chest felt like it was about to burst with anxiety and embarrassment. Christ. He could only hope that Sam was drunk enough to write it off as a figment of his imagination in the morning when they both woke up in their respective beds and pretended that nothing ever happened.

“WELL! I should… go,” Charlie began, finishing off his beer and crushing the can in his claws before tossing it aside. About to get to his feet when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Freezing, he felt the color drain from his face. Oh no. This was the part, wasn’t it. Where his other secret was going to be touted in front of the other men like some kind of hard-won prize. Where he realized that Sam was just another moron in Springfield deadset on making him feel like an absolute freak. Where he was reminded that his decision-making was so incredibly poor that only he could have made the wrong choice three times in a row.

Anger bubbled up somewhere in the back of his throat, but before he could bristle and snap in defense, he was spun back to face Sam, caught by surprise as the man’s mouth met his own once again, this time of his own volition. Confusion replaced the anger that threatened to rise, a little sound of alarm only just being squelched by his steady realization that… He had been wrong.

They were both drunk, but Charlie shoved the thought to the side as he closed his eyes, suddenly drifting along a sea of contentment as he allowed himself to be pulled into that second kiss. He forgot that Lenny and Carl were sitting just on the other side of the gazebo. He forgot that Moe and the others were not far either. He forgot that he was kissing another man. He forgot… everything. Everything but the feeling of Sam’s lips on his own. They were warm and tasted like Duff, but so did his own. Charlie almost laughed as their glasses clacked gently against each other, but he didn’t care about that either. It was Halloween night and he felt like a giddy teenager, his claws brushing along the steps of the gazebo until they found Sam’s fingers, intertwining their pinkies together as they’d done to seal their promise to not dampen Moe’s spirits. 

Sam didn’t seem to mind, too wrapped up in the kiss just the same. Until they parted and Charlie let himself breath. He was red in the face, he was sure. But he would try to play it off like it was just the beer. Yeah. That’s all it was.

“...You don’t gotta go if you don’t want to,” Sam finally said, his own beer all but forgotten to the side. He was a bit flushed himself, but he seemed to manage it a lot better than Charlie did.

“...You don’t think we’ve gotten up to enough troublemaking tonight, huh?” The hybrid replied in kind, unable to disguise the little grin on his face. 

“Nah. It ain’t even that late yet.”

Sam got to his feet, offering his hand to pull Charlie up along with him. His tail helped him maintain his balance, even as the world tilted and shifted beneath his feet. Wow. He really was drunk. Or… maybe it had just been the kiss. Either way, he was feeling ridiculously topsy turvy just then. And the welcoming smile on Sam’s face certainly didn’t help. Wow. 

Maybe he hadn’t really been fake swooning after all.

“Lead the way,” Charlie prompted, keep himself at the other man’s side with a delighted little rumble of a purr that he did his best to keep to himself. It was difficult. And as they drifted away from the park and back into the street, he absently wished that Halloween was not a once-a-year deal.

When they’d left, Lenny and Carl found themselves staring after the two, still nursing their own beers and watching in a bit of a drunken stupor.

“Did we really just see that?” Carl asked, glancing up at his companion, baffled.

“I think so. Why don’t you ever do that with me?” Lenny replied as he sat atop the railing of the gazebo, his words slurred in his mild outrage.

“Aw shut up,” Carl said, focusing back on his beer. 

He made a mental note to shove Lenny off of the railing before the night was over with.

[introvertguide]

The Graduate (1967); AFI #17

The current film under review is the classic comedy, The Graduate (1967). This moving is one of most well known and referenced films that I know of in American film. It was the last film to win only Best Director while also being nominated for other categories. This makes sense because the acting was good with many newcomers and character actors of the time, but there was some stiff competition at the Oscars that year. Director Mike Nichols did an exceptional job telling a story within a story utilizing symbols and camera movement to let the viewing audience know what the characters were thinking. Show not tell, which is perfect for this sort of media. Let’s go through a summary of the story before looking at any more of the technical or behind-the-scenes notes. This, of course, is always kicked off with...

SPOILER WARNING!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE AWAY THE ENTIRE PLOT!!! THERE IS A LOT MORE TO THE STORY OF THIS MOVIE THAN JUST THE PLOT, BUT IT IS STILL GOOD TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING THROUGH BEFORE DISCUSSING IT!!! IF YOU DON’T WANT IT SPOILED, STOP NOW AND WATCH THE MOVIE THEN COME BACK AND CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

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Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) is a 20-year-old man who just recently graduated from an East Coast college and has returned to Pasadena, California to stay with his parents and figure out what to do with his life. He is embarrassed by his doting parents at every turn when they invite all the family friends to come see him. The wife of his father’s business partner is Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), a middle aged women who seems unhappy with her marriage and convinces Ben to drive her home where she tries to seduce him. He runs away but later calls her and meets her over at the Taft Hotel and starts up an affair. 

Benjamin spends the summer relaxing by the pool and going off on trysts with Mrs. Robinson at the hotel. During one night at the Taft, Mrs. Robinson reveals that she only married her husband because she was pregnant. Ben knows her daughter, Elaine (Katherine Ross), and jokes that he should date her. Mrs. Robinson is not happy with this and forbids him from seeing her daughter. Unfortunately, Ben’s parents think it would be a great match and set up a date between the kids. 

Ben tries to sabotage the date in the most cringe-worthy way. He ignores Elaine and drives like a crazy man. He takes her to a strip club and sits her right next to the stage. It is so bad that Elaine runs away crying and Ben feels remorse. He actually likes Elaine and they go and have burgers at a drive-thru. They want to have a late night drink and the only place close that is open is the Taft Hotel. They go in and everyone there recognizes Ben which makes Elaine believe he has been seeing an older women. Ben says it is true and the affair is over, so the two plan another date the following day.

Mrs. Robinson threatens to tell Elaine when Ben shows up at the house to pick her up, so Ben tells Elaine first to ruin any blackmail. This upsets Elaine and she returns to Berkeley to go back to school and avoid seeing Ben. 

Ben decides to move to Berkeley in hopes of getting back with Elaine and takes up residence in an all male dorm house. Ben finally runs into Elaine and she says her mom told her that Ben had gotten her drunk and raped her. (Wow. Keep this in mind because I will bring this up again in the conversation section.) Ben explains to Elaine and she forgives him. They hang out and Ben asks her to marry him, but she apparently has promised to marry some other guy named Carl Smith. Unfortunately, Elaine’s father shows up at Ben’s apartment to tell him that he is getting a divorce from Mrs. Robinson and forcing his daughter to marry Carl Smith. He makes a major ruckus and Ben is thrown out by the dorm manager.

Ben goes back to Pasadena and breaks into the Robinson house in search of Elaine but only finds Mrs. Robinson. She calls the police claiming there is a burglar. As Ben escapes, she says that he can’t stop the marriage between Elaine and Carl. He drives back to Berkeley and finds out were the wedding will take place (Santa Barbara) and rushes to the church. He can’t get in the front door so he runs up to the organ room upstairs and bangs on a glass barrier that looks down on the ceremony. He shouts out for Elaine and she eventually yells back in front of all the guests. She runs out and meets Ben, who pins the door closed with a large cross.

Elaine and Benjamin elope by jumping aboard a bus and sit among startled passengers. Their ecstatic expressions change to looks of uncertainty as the bus drives away.

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I have a list of questions that people have asked me when I told them I was doing an analysis of The Graduate, so this will act kind of like a FAQ sheet for the film and hopefully answer some questions:

Dustin Hoffman doesn’t look like he just graduated from college in the movie. How old was he?

Lot of questions about the age of the actors. At the time the movie came out, Katherine Ross played Elaine the college student at 27 years old, Dustin Hoffman played the recent graduate Benjamin at age 30, and Anne Bancroft played the part of middle aged Mrs. Robinson at age 36. It kind of made sense about Dustin Hoffman because he is a very small man with great hair and can look the part of somebody much younger. Katherine Ross lied about her age for years so directors thought she was 3 or 4 years younger than she really was. Anne Bancroft is the one that stands out the most because they put in a couple of grey streaks in her hair and added some crows feet around her eyes and called her 10-15 years older. I think Director Mike Nichols knew this so Elaine and her mother have almost no screen time together.

Didn’t that movie win an Oscar for the music?

It did not. In fact, the song that the film is known for, “Mrs. Robinson,” was not played beyond instrumental snippets. The film was not even nominated for anything music related. 

I think I have seen the movie before because it feels familiar.

The film is set in California and has some of the most well known scenes in American cinema. The initial seduction scene between Mrs. Robinson and Ben captured the hopes of college boys everywhere. The idea of finding a beautiful and experienced woman that aggressively makes all the first moves is the dream of many a man. The famous scene right after Mrs. Robinson reveals she married because she was pregnant and didn’t love her husband shows Ben about to leave and framed by the leg of Mrs. Robinson putting on a stocking. I have never seen wrongful lust depicted any better and it really sticks with you. The final scene in the movie in which Ben stops the wedding and runs away with the bride has been used in many movies and TV shows and really displays Hoffman’s acting because we slowly realize that the new couple has no idea what to do next. I only remember one other non-speaking acting performance were a realization is revealed purely through a slow facial close-up, and that was from Jack Nicholson in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. 

I remember there was some kind of accusation of rape that is never resolved. Did that really happen?

Yup. It did. I never realized how awkward a brush over this was until I specifically looked for it. Mrs. Robinson told her daughter that Ben raped her and Elaine still talks to him instead of calling the police. A rape allegation is not a light thing and there would not be pleasantries at the zoo if this was the case. Why would a girl who believes she is talking to a man that raped her mother and was now stalking her college aged daughter do anything but get the police involved? Elaine actually entertains the thought of marrying the guy. She thought Ben raped her mother and Ben says that the mother seduced and slept with him. She is apparently OK with this. I wouldn’t be.  

Do they actually show Mrs. Robinson naked?

This was asked more than the age question. The answer is “yes, sort of.” There is a very brief shot of Anne Bancroft’s bare chest for two or three frames. If you consider that movies are generally filmed at 24 frames per second, this is very brief. I can’t imagine how many desperate people were quick on the pause button when the movie came out on video. 

Did they use this movie for a Simpson’s episode?

Not just one. The famous shot with a leg in the foreground was in the episode “Homer of Seville” and “Beware My Cheating Bart” while the famous “Mrs. Robinson, you are trying to seduce me” line from the same scene was used in the episode “Lisa’s Substitute.” An homage to the end of the movie was used twice for Grandpa Simpson in the episodes “The Last Temptation of Homer” and “Lady Bouvier’s Lover.” 

So now to the questions I answer for every movie on the AFI top 100. Does this movie belong on the list? Of course. It is a well directed movie full of symbolism. It is the first major role for Dustin Hoffman (one of America’s most well known movie stars). It is engrained in American vernacular: I knew that “she went all Mrs. Robinson” referred to an older woman seducing a younger man years before I ever saw the movie. Mrs. Robinson is a classic villain and that character alone deserves a spot on the top 100. Would I recommend it? Sure would. It is a little cringy at times for me, but it is legitimately funny. There are a couple of topics that are sometimes weird and sometimes uncomfortable, but the direction is good enough to move quickly through these parts to suspend disbelief. Check out the movie and check out the soundtrack because both are great, widely available, and great pieces of classic Americana.

[popculturebuffet]

Animation Reviews: OK KO: Red Action 3: Grudgement Day

Whelp I said i’d do all three in one day and I MEANT IT. And I may do it again just to stay on schedule in the future, but for now i’m just proud and exausted to have gotten this done. And after a rather “eh it has some things but it’s mostly just there” episode” we’ve come to our last episode and my personal faviorite, Red Action 3: Grudgment day. Also as a quick note I forgot red was actually a major part of “I hope this thing flies” back in my first review, but I probably would’ve left it out as while the plot is her racing with Rad, it’s entirely a rad episode, and like plaza prom which I had to realize wasn’t important, isn’t really necessary.  One last where we are in the series thing. We’re in season 3 and as I mentioned last time, RIGHT before the final episodes and one episode before the three part final arc and unrelated but beautiful epilogue that closes out the series. I didn’t go into my throughts on season 2 but it was good, the ending was just a  really sloppy end to an otherwise good arc that i’ll get to. Season 3 is somehow even better, using it’s shorter run time to tie up loose ends and character arcs left and right and , after trying all series to do it, crossing over with Sonic the hedgehog, another thing for another time, and the final episodes, both the wrap up to the story arc “Let’s fight ot the end” and the wonderful where are they now epilouge “Thank you for watching the show”, are absolutley amazing and how you end a show.. and thankfully endings of this calibur became the trend this year given that same year star vs ended terribly and the bad taste is still in my mouth over that one but that’s a story for another bunch of reviews. The point is as I said the crew used the time wisely and wrapped up most ongoing character and story arcs that needed resolution. And given they spent two episodes on it the team decided to pull the pin on red and enid getting together, and solve one dangling issue the fans likely had all in one go. IT’s grudgment day under the cut. 

We open with Rad and Red arguging and KO looking at them in a way that just screams:”Third mom, Rad, please stop fighting”  Enid comes in and wonders why one of her two best friends and her girlfriend are fighting. She dosen’t use the term but given the kiss at the end of the episode, more on that when we get to it, the general way Enid acts about this and the way Red acts around her this ep.. their a couple at this point.  I do wish they had an episode of them becoming offical, adressing Enid and Elodie.. bucnhes of other things but I concede that the crew was blindsighted by having a smaller season and had they you know NOT BEEN CANCELED FOR NO GOOD GOODAMN RESAON, we might have gotten more renid and more stories and a full on steven universe crossover with both sides. But I digress.. CN’s managment is terrible right now... but that’s not the reason for this article so we’re moving on.  Anyways Enid wants to know why their so pissy when she arrives, and Red .. is in the right this time. Showing her growth while she still got heated with rad.

Rad did at least start it, as she simply came in to take enid jelly surfing and was kind enough to ask him to come along.. and KO implictly given he’s there and their buds now and all that. But when rad insults her again she quits the explaning and goes right back to arguing with him while Enid and KO look on awkwardly. Then Red decides to go into a mocking impression of rad, which is not NEARLY as mean as it could’ve been given the guy has canocially, had a super virus get worse because he refused to get rest something the villian that gave it to him was COUNTING on as part of his evil scheme, was left on the floor in pain over his cocoa being too hot, and once confused his 6-11 year old friend for a doppleganger despite having GIVEN said friend his nametag, though to be fair red’s own best friend also thought he was rad and gave him her number, so everyone was kind of dumb that day but still, the point is she has a LOT of ammo. In contrast Rad STARTS light saying she says words like Cowabunga (she only does once at the end of this ep and has not at any time).. before saying Enid deserves someone better and flinging her surfboard... which Crinkly Wrinkly jumps on and crashes into a wall because of course he does.  Anyways Enid is offended at this and reveals rad’s been acting like a raving dickhead to Red anytime she shows up, which were this season 1 would be on brand but after 3 seasons of becoming a better person and an episode earlier this season where he rejected his dudebro friends once and for all, who by the way: Beefer and Mega Football Baby are the worst and I hate them and i’m greatful that their final apperance is rad realizing what a bad influence they’ve been and telling their asses off for their toxic masculinity. But I will however give OK KO credit as their SUPPOSED to be obnoxious, and the crew still dialed back hteir apperances to almost nothing when they realized it went horribly right, versus Rusty whose still mildly to massively annoying, but has yet to be fixed or removed from LIncoln’s crew, despite the show having a good track record for taking problematic characters and fixing them. And i’ve gotten entirely offf topic because all three of them piss me off so much, so let’s move on.  Where were we.. ah yes, since Rad being a dickhead this consisently is now an exception not the rule, Enid rightfully demands to know why and Rad.. makes up two very petty, weak and obviously pulled out of his butt to try and cover the real reason up reasons for his actions: Red didn’t follow him back on Social Media, which is both a website and what the website is in this universe apparently which Is brilliant, and that she took the last bit of cake at prom... you know after he realized he was screwing it up and fixed it all with a homoerotic dance fight. Plaza Prom is amazing. When pressed because Rad fired his stupid friends, Rad hastily challenges red to a power battle, which I haven’t had to cover yet: Basically a hero can challenge another hero to a fight, usually for respect, to settle a grudge or who took the last bagle, and it’s a socially accepted thing called a power batttle. Really given it seems like KO’s world has not had a hero civil war, and the one time we’ve seen heroes on heroes outside of these things has been when POINT was acting shady as fuck and thus needed to be stopped, it seems like a resonable mesure, especially since most heroes just.. shrug off damage from battles and stuff after a bit.  Unable to convince her girlfriend not to punch her best friend in the face, however much he deserves it, Red gives enid her belt with her time capusles inside, so they don’t go off mid fight and gives her an air kiss. Awww. Enid bemoans the fact this is happening for such dumb reasons when KO relaizes they can just use the belt to fix what once went wrong and end this petty fight before rad dies.  First stop, the Bodega a few months ago, which KO proves both by the fact they have mean beans, which theys topped selling months ago and is one of the single best refrences this show did and it’s done a LOT, and the social media feed being from months and months ago, with Beefer bragging elodie beat him up. Ewwwwww.... I don’t wnat to kjnow what he’s into. Gah gotta scrub my brain. ONe brain scrub later Rad needs only one more follower to 100. I hear when you get 100 this happens. 

Rad asks for a follow for follow from Red, who says she dosen’t have her phone. Enid is sure she’s lying, which she is, and follows Rad for her. Also I love rad’s file photo

Seriously they use this any time they need a picture of him. It’s one of the series best runners and is only topped by homer simpsons various terrible ones and this gravity falls masterpiece as being the best stock photo used for a character.

I will use this any time I have an excuse to and I have no shame about that. Anyways they go back but

As things have only gotten more heated at the power battle, so they try the prom to see if that’ll help.  Cue PROM. Seriously why they never did a second Plaza Prom episode is really beyond me. Lot of potetinal with that concept.. plus I like episodes that put tons of cast, main and supporting, in one event together, ever since venture bros. It’s always a fun time. Anyways, Enid wants to stop a paradox but KO has already interacted with his past self.. which is the KO enid’s talking to and a great gag.  So the two seeing Rad and Red both about to go for the cake decide to pull a destraction: Enid goes over and talks to Red to hold her off and get the cake to rad, while KO does what any sane person would do: Jumps onto Rad’s face while yelling rad I love you, and Rad is clearly more annoyed he’s on his face and this has very obviously happened before. .... I miss this show.  Anyway after giving the explination that she’s a shadow clone to explain why her past self is still up there DJing, she offers to dance and the two have a good cute time until enid gets the cake into rad’s mouth and bolts.. and now we get the thing I hinted at earlier. Red talks to the other Alley Teens about it, and notes that while she dosen’t know Enid she kinda likes her.. then backpedals as the teens make faces but are clearly not fooled by they all look really creepy especially Gregg. 

WHelp I have ny nightamres for tonight. But yeah this is implied to be what got Red to ask her out in the first place. Time travel is weird and inconsietent. This does give me a chance to adress the fact that the alley teens.. sorta stopped beiing a thing eventually. I mean their stillf riends as of the season 2 openoer but red and drupe show up for their own eps or supportingroles while Gregg just kinda vanishes, poor person. That being said given this interaction and how close they were I DO think their still friends; I mean gregg and drupe was confirmed by the flash forward as they visit rad’s cafe, but Red would still be their friend, they just all likely have more stuff to do as they grow older: by the end of season 2 Drupe has a buisness and gregg is probably in college. But I expect Drupe would be Red’s best woman at her wedding. I mean gregg would probably be her best person but still. Anyways they return to the present again and.

Yeah that. Their now battling in cars and Enid decides to cut the bullshit and just ask Rad why he’s pissed at Red, asking Red to pause the fight, which she agrees to.  KO and Enid throw rad int he back of his van tied up and ask him to be honest about why he’s so pissed off. After some dithering he says he lo.. lo.. and instead of saying he loves enid, thank god i’m so sick of love triangles, may they die in a fire, like the episode hinted at it’s a swerve. and unlike a vince russo swerve which ends in A “Buff Bagwell’s mother on a forklift match”.. no really

This is actually a great one: Rad’s fully moved on and I like that, evne if the finale does leave it vauge if those bodegamen at the end are theirs or not, given Rad’s her best friend by the end and she and red would need a surrogate, it’s not a huge stretch to say Rad sperm donored for them and is still a beloved uncle and figure in their lives. Anyways the point is Rad’s real beef is.. suprisingly sweet. Turns out Rad’s still pissed at the whole “Teens humilating, burning and spanking” ko thing and Red posting it online. Which is likely to adress the fact they.. never adressed that and was a good call and a good way to show rad’s growth: he’s not jealous , he’s not mad she’s taking up enid’s time, he’s mad that his best friend is dating someone who beat up his other best friend for just trying to help them then put it online for a cruel laugh. Granted Drupe did the same thing and he not only danced with her but is on good terms with her to this day, but odds are given they see her more and she’s in fact the designer for their mission outfits in season 3, she probably apologized off screen while Red figured KO forgiving her was good enough and just wanted to forget it, running away from things as usual. IT speaks to the diffrence in their personality: Red runs hot is stubborn and takes time to admit she’s wrong, Drupe is very chill and as the series goes on very nice, and probably wanted to get it out of the way asap given she frequents the bodega more often, either in the background or foreground.  Anyways after KO reveals he actually enjoys the video as a treasured memory of when he first met the alley teens, disturbing his friends, seriously this kid needed to remerge with his edgelord side yikes, Enid gives rad a headpat and kudos for being normal and Enid decides to take all of them to go fix this.  Back in the past we’re back at the bullying and before past red can post, present red explains she should stop and after clarfying this isn’t an end of the world situation, not an unfair assumption given you know time traveler, she reveals it’s for someone unimportant.. but whose important to someone they care about, and that what they were doing was a terrible thing they’ll be ashamed of anyway. It’s a good scene that shows how far red’s come: from pushing everyone but two people awaya nd treating most like garbage in a vain attempt to avoid being who she used to be, to accepting it, finding love, and becoming friends with someone she hurt and accepting she hurt him. Rad is also clearly moved seeing that Enid did indeed choose wisely. Back in the present. 

... NO not this time. No instead red and rad are pals, talking about how shredded they are and what not, and while Enid finds it annoying, understandably, she’s glad their not trying to kill each other and dosen’t have to buy Rad’s gravestone or visit her girlfriend in prison. In the alterted timeline, which their also aware of by rad’s comment, time travel just go with it, they were already planning on going jelly surfing and invite enid, and implictly ko along. 

So we end on our main trio and Red jelly surfing, Enid and Red sharing a board before wiping out, laughing about it and then, as if you hadn’t already seen the header but fuck it. 

Yup. The subtext just became.. text. Awww. In case you were wondering, I do like them as a couple, especially after this quintology, as it’s made me realize just hwo much they click and how much chemistry they have, and by this point their just adorable, their drama gone and they can just be happy and gay together. And that’s something cartoons are doing more of and tha’ts wonderful and it’s wonderful that, with all else he had to wrap up, Ian felt confirming the gay couples lasted was extremley important, as two others are shown married in the finale. And we’ll get to the finale more in a bit, but first Rad floats by with an “I support this”, to approving smiles, and enid thinking he’s a weirdo. Also I love the meta text of having a character voiced by the shows creator say that.  KO however is sad that the video is gone but ENid says the memories will last. Rad is understandably not sad about it suggests they make new ones and we end on our quintent taking a selfie together. THE END. Before final thoughts, this wouldn’t however be the last we saw of them. The finale has a bit more as it flashes forwards a bit: the relevant part is one shows Enid take over KO’s mom Carol’s dojo. with red, the two kissing again and alllooking over some supsciously familiar kids who look supsciously like the hue troop, but are probably there great grandparents. While Red dosent’ show up again after that, and could’ve gone back to the future eventuallyf or all we know, I like to think she stayed, and that as noted above, she and enid had kids together with Rad’s help given the similar looking kids we see running the bodega... which admitely was kept vauge by Ian on purpose so fans could draw their own inclusion so that’s the one i’m drawing; rad is still there for them aand still family to them, but isn’t with Enid in a romantic sense, if you think diffrently that’s fine. But My ending is these two crazy kids worked it out and are now happy ever after. and that ain’t bad.  Final Thoughts: A fantastic episode with TONS of great jokes, call backs and a great resolution , showing off Rad and Red’s character development greatly,f ixing a possible plot hole and giving fans the kiss that many of them had wanted for some time. ONe of the series best I can’t gush enough about it but I shall stop for your benifit. If you liked this review, subscribe for more, check out the backlog via the convient pages on my blog, and shoot me an ask, wether it’s to suggst an episode or just to ask me about my opinons or yell about them or ask what I think about certain shows or what i’ll cover. And until next time, later days. 

[curious-minx]

Left Behind In The Halloween Parade: Late Review of Bob’s Burgers And The Simpsons.

The First Sunday of November, and the Last Sunday of the Trump and Biden election, found Hulu finally uploading the Bob’s Burgers and Simpsons Halloween episodes. So in the spirit of taking your sweet ass time that is exactly what I did with this review. The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is probably the weakest of the series, a series that is practically a Hallmark card company in terms of the amount of holiday-inspired content they have churned out. Episode “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” isn’t a particularly offensive in any way it just fails to live up to Halloween episodes such as my personal favorites Season 8 “The Wolf of Wharf Street,” which remains one of the most visually stunning episodes of the series,  and  Season 4, the series’ second Halloween episode,“Fort Night,” which has incredibly gruesome stakes and the most satisfying entry in the Louise versus Millie feud. 

“Heartbreak Hotel-oween” is still ultimately pretty good and though it took a second viewing to fully appreciate it I do like watching the Belcher children deftly sail through the world of adults. The tantalizing plot thread of a Bob’s Burgers Delivery service is dangled and I would like to see more Delivery based plots. Getting these characters into different areas and expanding upon the ambitious Jersey shore town. Having the kids deliver a burger to an older woman using the burger as a lure for her seance is flattened against a brown and forgettable after thought of a hotel. Everything with the Belcher kids is good and interesting and with the help of Andy Daly voicing the Hotel Manager; Lindsey Stoddart doing Quarantine duty and voicing multiple characters including the old woman Dolores conducting the seance, and Loren Bouchard Home Movies collaborator Melissa Robbins stops by as a bystander character as well. 

The episode starts getting in its own way with the adults blood bank centric B-plot. The entire plot is given in a single exchange with Teddie being excited about donating blood and everyman Bob with his everyman  O-negative blood finds giving blood nauseating and gross. That’s it. That’s the whole plot and besides the blood banker workers being dressed up as vampires there are no other comedic games being played and it is total unmemorable fluff, which has been a common issue for the ongoing series. One thing this episode does right is at least get Bob, Linda and Teddie out of the restaurant and into a new environment. A lot of the verbal exchanges between Bob, Linda and Teddie feel a lot more stilted due to Covid recordings and the lack of non-scripted banter is sorely missed. I have noticed this season having more John H. Benjamin monologue Bob by himself moments, which only work when Bob’s imagination is in full flight. Where was the talking bag of Bob’s blood? Hell I wouldn’t even had objected to hearing a dang song sung by the vampires to help soothe Bob into giving blood or something beyond: Bob doesn’t like giving blood because it makes him woozy, he gives blood and get’s woozy. 

Overall this is a perfectly serviceable episode: three Ghost-baiting cheeseburgers out of five. 

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Intermission. 

Fox is certainly using the Loren Bouchard & Molyneux sisters brand like a blood bag with the recent announcement of the new series The Great North. Wendy Molyneux is a frequent writer, (executive) story editor since Bob’s Burgers inception. She is the writer of  “The Wolf of Wharf Street” and the episode of Bob’s Burgers I have watched the most - “There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business,” because I am a cat fanatic, John Oliver fan, and have been the pet companion of a standard poodle exactly like Snoodle named Faust that I love dearly. Basically, I am excited for this show. Molyneux is also a deeply connected collaborator with Megan Mullally writing on all 74 episodes of Mullally’s forgotten by the ages The Megan Mullally Show. A show according to Wikipedia’s citation of Fox News, “viewers were disappointed to find out that Megan is not anything like Karen in real life,” and if there is any white woman out there that is an anti-Karen it is Mullally. Mullally is not the focus of the show but her more visible and commercially accessible husband Nick Offerman is finally being anointed into the annals of TV Dads. With his three sons voiced by Paul Rust, Will Forte and National Treasure Aparna Nancherla and sole daughter voiced by Bob’s Burgers alum Jenny Slate, who recently honorably stepped down from a lucrative tv series Big Mouth deal like the real champ that she is.  Mullally will show up as Jenny Slate’s character’s boss andThe cast is undeniable the backdrop of Alaska has a lot of promise for elaborate or interesting set pieces. I am ready for this show! Will this be Bob’s Burgers Futurama? That’s probably a vicious hex based on how Futurama was infamously jerked around by Fox. FOX has already given the show a promising two-season deal, which is already a lot better than what Netflix did for Tuca and Bertie. Faint nowhere discussions of the Bob’s Burgers movie were also mentioned in an interview with Bouchard who has a cantankerous “theater release only” policy, which bums out a little, but I would much prefer they take as long as possible. The Bob’s Burgers movie cannot end up carrying out the Simpson movie curse.

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I am no Simsons scholar. I could not give you an active ranking of favorite Tree House of Horror episodes. I could tell you that I really like Bart as an Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven. You don’t need to be Simpsons scholar to safely state that “Treehouse of Horror XXXI” should be ashamed to show its “funny face.” For starters the entire appeal of the anthology style of storytelling has been completely deflated by having two of the previous episodes in this season being gimmicky non-standard episodes. The only positive thing I can say about this episode is that it is an important teaching tool for what the most broken and shittiest, laziest satire imaginable would look like and the 2020 Election cold opening is actually pretty solid. All of the good will earned by the strong opening is completely squandered starting with an inexplicably CGI Toys Story sketch. I am assuming the animation department went with CGI because the source material is CGI. The CGI is really bad and makes me really miss the 3D models of Simpsons Hit And Run and perfectly charming The Simpsons Game. Instead this sketch’s particular animation looks like the animators were most inspired not by Pixar’s clean and craftsmen like CGI models but were going for more of a Fanboy & Chum Chum look. A Toy’s Story parody in this day and age is asinine in its laziness, but it’s still an evergreen territory. A good Toy’s Story parody is possible, but simply having Bart play out the role of Toy Story’s Sid except he gets lobotomized by his own toys. I did appreciate the writer’s making the explicit moral of the story to not buy toys, which for a Disney product like the Simpsons is pretty rich. 

Behold! The last recorded instance of a quality Toys Story satire from China, IL

The next two parodies go down slightly better simply because they aren’t sporting that eye bleeding animation but paying homage to Enter The Spider-verse and Russian Doll/Happy Death Day 2U in 2020 feels just as dated as Toy Story. What kind of fool is still writing about Russian Doll in 2020? The Enter the Homer-verse sketch is at least ambitious and showcases how masturbatory  the show has come whenever it is showcasing Dan Castellaneta’s various vocal talents. I get it dude, you like having dump trucks of money given to you for barely making an effort and doing Hannah Barbara impersonations that sound more like a bad Woody Allen. Regardless, this is still the one sketch that makes the most attempt to have comedic games with its multiple iterations of Homer and even throwing out some alternative universe Burns and Smithers for good measure. The final third Russian Doll sketch that let’s you know that this sketch is more Russian Doll than Happy Death Day by using the same exact Harry Nilsson “Gotta Get Up”  piano riff. This sketch had potential but once again the show writers and creatives seem to only indulge the worst possible instincts and cast Lisa as the lead of the sketch. So that means we get to watch this 8 soon-to-be 9 year old girl and fellow child Nelson get murdered in a variety of banal and brutal ways, and it’s just not fun or pleasant to watch. The obvious choice is an unexpected Springfield resident and if it has to be a Simpson having Marge or one of her sisters be the Nadia surrogate makes far more logical sense and Marge’s birthday would carry more emotional weight. 

Reminder to myself to check out this lost late series entry where Natasha Lyonne is the voice of Krusty’s daughter. 

I completely understand why The AV Club canceled their coverage of The Simpsons. The whole series has a very masochistic and sadistic pull and tug between creatives and fans. The sweet and simple souls of Den of Geek are still reviewing the Simpsons and offer a far more favorable review: https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/the-simpsons-season-32-episode-4-review-treehouse-of-horror-xxxi/.  Google results also yield one another publication reviewing this current season published on medium that has been taken by for violating medium rules. Will the Simpsons be coming for me next? 

Skip this episode! Judging by the synopsis of the season’s next ep finding the Simpsons, once again, finding themselves somewhere other than Springfield is looking to be another skippable entry. I want to be proven wrong! The latter day Simpsons seasons usually have a memorable or decent episode here or there. So far the only thing remarkable about this season is how much it wants to try to be different and think outside of the Springfield box but in the process give the season an overwhelming sense of hollowness. I shall forge ahead with my coverage, because I am either a masochist or a sadist depending on the weather. 

[therotatingvillain]

Whiskey Business and an acurate portrayal of depression

So, I’m back with a bit of a controversial topic, modern Simpsons. Now, let’s make something clear here, I agree with all the people saying modern Simpsons is not as good as old Simpsons, especially the humor, which always made the Simpsons so special. Yet I have to admit that in my opinion modern Simpsons has some hidden gems, mainly in the way they portray certain topics. The episode I want to talk about here is season 24, episode 19 „Whisky Business“ and it’s portrayal of depression.

Why do I want to talk about this episode specifically? Why not season 29, episode 3 „Whistler’s father“ and it’s portrayal of child stars or season 19, episode 4 „I don’t wanna know why the caged bird sings“ and the portrayal of obsessive behavior after trauma? Well, „Whisky Business“ has always been close to my heart simply for the fact that I could identify myself in a lot of the things happening to Moe in not just this episode, but also a lot of the other episodes regarding Moe like season 14, episode 22 „Moe baby blues“ or season 3, episode 9 „Flaming Moes“.

Let’s start then. Disclaimer and trigger warning I guess, since I will interpret a lot into simple one liners or off side comments that the writers most probably meant nothing with but making a joke of the entire situation. I will also talk about abuse, depression, suicidal tendencies and a lot more in that direction, so if anything like that triggers you, you should stop reading or proceed with caution. It’s gonna get personal guys.

 So, I’m obviously only gonna talk about Moes storyline in this one and his first appearance already hit me close. Moe tries to talk to his friends, telling them he needs to talk about something important, but Homer, Lenny and Carl don’t even acknowledge his exsistence in any way, even when Moe literally calls out for help, saying things like „I’m begging you, please, please show me some love“, yelling it into the bar without any sort of response. This shows perfectly what it feels like for me when I’m asking for help. There are moments where I know I will do something to myself or have a panic attack or simply break down and I don’t want that to happen, so I reach out, may it be in subtle ways or full on approaching the situation as it is. I once had a really fucking terrible day, in fact a completely shit week and everything I wanted was for someone to show me some love, just to feel like my world isn’t breaking apart and like I’m okay, like things are going to turn out okay, so I asked my father if I could have a hug, nothing unusual to ask your dad I think. He just laughed at me and refused, jokingly asking why I’d need that and then going on about his day as normal. I felt completely invisible. I felt like I wasn’t even deserving of his attention and like he didn’t take me serious nor even listen to me at all. It really felt like yelling at someone that you need help and they don’t even realize you’re there. Like you don’t exist.

After Moe ties the noose around his neck, he sees the suicide hotline number on the wall and decides to call, giving „the new kid a chance to talk to the legend“. It’s like he’s glorifying his depression, like his reputation at that hotline is the only real thing he has ever achieved in his life and this feeling is even further enhanced when you see the pillow and blanket on the couch, almost seeming like Moe has been sleeping at his bar again, not even having an apartment. This feeling of worthlessness, having achieved nothing in your life is I think something we all have felt to a certain degree at some point.

But something that almost brought me to tears, as stupid as it sounds, was when Moe was going to go through with it, but then his phone rings and Moes face instantly lights up as he quickly picks up, answering after hesitating with a quiet and hopeful „Hello?“.

Now it’s going to get really personal because I’m going to tell you guys about something very few people know about me. I tried to kill myself on a class trip in eight grade. I’m not gonna get too into the details, but I was very agitated and stressed and I went to the only person who I trusted and asked if we could talk, but they just shoved me away, which was the last straw and pushed me over the edge. I passed out in the bathroom after a particularly bad panic attack, woke up around 45 minutes later, went into our room and was fully ready to take an entire bottle of painkillers I had packed because I’m stupid and break shit easily. In the end I snapped out of it, but I was fully ready to die in that moment. I had tried to cling to the last thing I thought could be help and it turned out to be shit. It was, similiar to Moe, the thing that inevertibly led to me almost dying and watching how Moes face lid up when he thought there was someone who cared brought me right back to when I tried to talk to that person. It was a moment I believe so many people who have gone through similiar things can relate to.

Turns out it’s just a prank call from Bart and Moe in his rage ends up falling off the chair and actually almost suffocating to death, but a bar broke and he crashed to the ground which alerted his friends, who then come running in and Homer applied CPR, saving Moes life. Moe seems happy afterwards, saying how thankful he is for another chance at life, although his „post suicide happiness“ doesn’t last very long and he goes right back to realizing how shitty the world is and how little he matters. Again something I saw myself in. On that trip after I almost od, my teacher with some classmates put on a little play and it was the funniest shit that entire trip. I was happy, I laughed, I forgot all about what had happened until afterwards. The person I trusted realized what happened, they berated me for it, took away any access to meds I had and left me alone. It wasn’t long after that I called my parents, who basically told me how they hated me for trying to be who I am and I was stuck in a house with people who hated me with a burning passion, so life wasn’t good. I felt like shit again and if I had had the oppertunity, I’d have tried again. It was again so good portrayed that it took me back and made me feel with Moe.

Marge barges in, asking Homer where the fuck he has been, Homer telling her Moe had an accident and Moe very casually says how he tried „to end it all“ but shortly after starts to cry after turning away from everyone. This very much shows how many of us, at least many of fhe people with depression I know, behave. We see it as almost normal, something that, although it impacts our lifes in the worst way possible, is just another part of us, almost like a character trait. But it’s not that, it’s hate and painful memories, feelings that shouldn’t exist, hopelessness, sadness, emptyness, it’s so much no person should feel, yet we tend to act very casually about it in public. Yet once we’re alone, it crashes, so much at once that most of the time I come home from school, the moment I close my rooms door, I start crying. It’s nothing to take casually.

Marge then decides to take Moe on a roadtrip and Moe starts joking, asking if Noosy can come too. Again, something I see in a lot of us. We joke about our depression, our lifes, things we simply shouldn’t joke about because they’re not funny, but it’s a way for many of us to deal with those intrusive thoughts, those feeling of worthlessness.

On the trip Moe is not enjoying himself because all he sees „are 2 million people happier than me“. Sometimes, even the things you love the most will seem extremely dull and pointless to you, because no matter what you do, there will always be countless people who are happier than you and suddenly you feel like you don’t deserve happiness or anything for that matter. Just like Moe feels like he doesn’t deserve the suit his friends want to buy for him, but after some encouraging Moe accepts it.

Moes new suit can be read as you changing to a „new you“, a you that is more acceptable in the eyes of society. You’re sick of society hating you, so you try to appeal to it and it works, suddenly people are nice to you, opportunities show themselves that you just have to take and for a while life seems perfect. Yes, this may not be the real you, but who cares, everything is what you always wanted and as long as you keep up the facade, it will stay this way. But facades break, or in Moes case, suits can rip. Now what is there isn’t the one everyone loved, but the one everyone hated or thought was a freak.

Moe desperately asks Marge for help and she tells him to just be himself, so he actually takes the advice, but everything just breaks apart. Moes partnership he had built with two businessmen over his self-brewed whiskey gets completely ruined since everyone seems to hate or be disgusted by suitless-Moe. It shows amazingly how it feels to have so called „friends“ turn their backs on you once you start to act more like yourself and even though you try your best to show them it’s still you, they leave.

The episode ends on a bittersweet ending with Moe returning to his normal life, only this time a bit more hopeful. He knows it’s not going to last forever, but for now life is okay, he can deal with it.

And that’s just a powerful message. No matter what happens, you will be able to take it and in the end you will emerge alive, fine. You’re going to be okay and even if everything crumbles, it’s okay, because you can rebuild it. Baby steps.

Of course the episode is trying to be comedic with all this, like a string of Moes suit getting stuck in the elevator door going down 98 floors, but to me it still presented depression in a very understandable way and managed to visually show what it sometimes feels like to have depression and to try and deal with it. In my opinion this was one of the better modern Simpsons episodes and I will always hold it dear to my heart just because of how accurately it portrays parts of depression once you scraped through the surface of bad jokes and lame punchlines.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I hope it was understandable and please don’t cancel me just because I said I enjoyed some modern Simpsons episodes. As always, English isn’t my first language, it’s late at night, I’m dead on the inside, so please excuse any mistakes.

Stay squeaky.

[nomorevanillabeanicecream]

no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so. 

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few  quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius. 

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only  so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or  anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close 

 and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values, 

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more,  i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if  i did i dont know what type of of person i am,  i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of  a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but,  i just refuse to see it that way