#she was written into the episode but then couldn't do it so they just invented someone else to say all her dialogue??

[lucky-clover-gazette]

girl where was shirley anne bingham. did they replace her in the script with the segway kid. is the actress okay

[jennelikejennay]

Why Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is a (very good) fanfic

I like SNW, for the most part. I enjoy the characters and it's nice to see largely episodic Trek again. But the idea that it fits into the existing canon is pretty easy to debunk.

Honestly, Paramount is promoting an illusion when it presents canon as a singular thing which runs from series to series as an unbroken continuity. It's not just a matter of minor glitches; those happen within episodes. It's that each show is written by different people with a different idea of how the universe even works.

Memory Alpha is partly to blame for this. Instead of actually recording what happens in the show, they construct timelines and smooth over inconsistencies to give the impression that the number of moons Vulcan does or doesn't have is a matter of simple canonical record, which it isn't. (This is an attitude that bugs me in Bible scholarship too. We can't just say "John says Jesus was crucified sometime after noon and the synoptics say nine am," oh no. They fiddle with it and explain it away and then tell us Jesus was on the cross from noon to three like that is an established historical fact.)

Anyway, if we approach Star Trek like atheist scripture scholars, we should be taking each series as a separate account with its own slightly different worldview. This was obvious by the time Enterprise came out. TOS takes place in a time not long after the invention of the warp drive, where the Enterprise is one of only twelve starships and sent on a long-range mission far beyond where humans had traveled before. Their technology is new and clunky and there's an obvious frontier feel. You really gonna tell me the NX-01 had virtually all the same tech and the warp drive a hundred years earlier?

No, and if we want to play it Watsonianly (as I prefer to) we should say that all the time travel monkeyed irreparably with the timeline, such that the Eugenics Wars happened in the 90s but then, after many different time travel events, it has been moved back to the 2040s or so. First Contact moved earlier, maybe WWIII won't happen at all. And so on.

Therefore, when you're dealing with TOS there shouldn't be this pressure to try to fit SNW events into it. You shouldn't feel the need to make Spock a guy with a long heterosexual history in a TOS fic—you can simply read him as the gay or ace guy he is clearly written as.

This is clear from the very first episode of SNW, where T'Pring proposes to Spock. In TOS they've been more than betrothed since the age of seven. There's never any sign that those two had an actual relationship. If they did, why is the only picture Spock has of her, of her as a child? That would be pretty weird!

"Charades" made this even more obvious as T'Pring's mother objects to their relationship. She set it up! In arranged marriage cultures, you don't have to impress your mother-in-law, you have to impress your betrothed!

The Chapel thing, too, is an issue. First off, her reason for being on the Enterprise in TOS is to search for her fiance, Roger Korby. If she'd been on the Enterprise before, under Pike, that would be a really odd thing to say.

But her relationship with Spock is of course the really odd part. The creators were trying to make a reason for why she pines after him in TOS. But she doesn't pine for him like an ex, she pines for him like she's curious. It's very apparent that she hasn't had sex with him before:

CHAPEL: Mister Spock.

SPOCK: What is it, Nurse?

CHAPEL: Mister Spock, (takes his hand) the men from Vulcan treat their women strangely. At least, people say that, but you're part human too. I know you don't, you couldn't, hurt me, would you? I'm in love with you, Mister Spock. You, the human Mister Spock, the Vulcan Mister Spock.

SPOCK: Nurse, you should—

CHAPEL: Christine, please. I see things, how honest you are. I know how you feel. You hide it, but you do have feeling. Oh, how we must hurt you, torture you.

SPOCK: I'm in control of my emotions.

CHAPEL: The others believe that. I don't. I love you. I don't know why, but I love you. I do love you just as you are. Oh, I love you.

SPOCK: I'm sorry.

These two straight up haven't dated before.

Taking points like this, it's clear that we don't really need to worry about the fact that Spock's character is a little bit off. They're not rewriting his character; they can't, his character is a finished project between Nimoy and the TOS writers. They are writing their version of his character, which is different from mine. I daresay mine is a little more consistent with the source material than theirs, but not all fics are trying to be exact, and they're riffing off the idea in their own way.

As a fanfic writer, my conclusion is this: when I write a TOS fic, it uses TOS canon. Anything I steal from SNW is simply because it's cool, the way I borrow from other fics or from the novels. I needn't feel obliged to put Michael in every single fic about his childhood. I can write him as a virgin before Kirk if I want to.

Meanwhile I can also write an SNW fic where he leans into his human side and experiments with women and waxes his chest if I want to. And if I push his characterization more toward what I think it should be rather than what is on the screen, well, that's my business!

I hope I do not see a trend in fic toward so much respect for paramount's official universe canon that everyone feels like they have to stay consistent with SNW all the time. TOS isn't so why should your TOS fic be?

[ravenkinnie]

so uhhhh watched act iii yet. what do you think.

I was keeping track of which leaks turned out to be true because I saw people say these CANNOT be real because it's so ass and well i think that person was for the people like they are a whistle-blower. this was a warning

*there's something hysterical in the thesis that if hextech wasn't invented eventually we would all be rich. there's something so liberal about it idk. like a statement on assimilation or whatever

*heimerdinger saying he waited for ekko all that fuck ass time and then sacrificjgg himself for him...... I'm sorry who the fuck said christian linke projects on ekko and ships himself with heimer

*not vi being dead in the good reality. she was born to suffer ig

*not jinx living in some fuckass dwelling even in her good reality, she's just meant to live in someone's basement

*first of all the way when jayce had hextech he invented capitalism and when ekko and jinx had it they went back in time???? that's a statement somehow

*jinx has such ariana grande proportions like she needs a volume of hair to cover the fact that her head is so huge and she's so tiny

*the way time travel to these two is like an invention you show off at a party like they invented facebook. this world building is crazy

*I shockingly didn't even mind timebomb I can't lie, I'm not even mad. I'll find something to complain about later like idk the way they git torn apart by the invention of capitalism (by jayce) makes me giggle

*mel is like the most beautiful animated character ever I'm sorry and now she has magic??? this storyline kind of feels so detached at times but also it was so perfectly to my taste that I enjoyed it regardless. I'm fuckung OBSESSED with the dynamics between mel and her mother and I would watch this slowly unfold in a 20 episode season instead of being introduced through exposition

*viktor is so hot this season, they really ate that twink

*unfortunately the way jinxs storyline makes no sense bleeds into caitvi and caitlyns storyline so it's not really well done yk. but it feel like fanservice for a very specific type of a lesbian and I'm that lesbian. caitlyn is so beautiful and drama is so high like I kind of ate it up like I'm sorry I am watching with my pussy rn

*everyone was so hot acc. caitlyn had me mewling like cats in spring, jayce did get hot, jinx was so pretty this act

*the way jinx was like I didn't know your mom was there and that's it, okay bitch you still killed people. like the way she really perceives only emotional conflict and not moral or anything I fuck with that

*I have to just once again reiterate. caitlyns storyline and caitvi, and vis storyline too acc, were not well written and they need more seasons. however the bare bones were so hot

*this act made me realise that silco loves to say a bunch of nothing

*I mean this plot is just nonsensical the way we just held hands and sang kumbaya to solve poverty. everything solved by a speech cause we got limited as hell screen time. it's giving kendall pepsi commercial

*also they started a whole war in the time it took for vi to get out of that fucking cell

*caitvi sex scene was fucking fantastic. in a prison cell, I'm cackling. the world might be a cruel place but I just watched lesbian pussy eating in a league of legends show so sometimes good things do happen

*it really is like the best female characters come from the most misogynistic places. when ambessa slapped mel I screamedddd

*I mean they desperately needed more time and seasons there's no hiding this fact but I think ideologically this would always be like this

*like they couldn't make it good but they did make it wild instead so I appreciate this

*I am kind of sad about caitvi not getting more time because there's so much bullshit in how the character choices had to align to get them to necessary plot points and they had to speed through a lot of development but man. at least caitlyn got her pussy ate

*I acc don't hate jinxs hair. I do hate her storyline but burning down the last drop was beautifully dramatic I deserved a whole season like this

*caitlyns gotten the most pussy across this show I need everyone to remember this

*caitlyn assassinating ambessa and when that bitch went "bold little one" I'm sorry they should have been scissoring too, we didn't need maddie. it would be funnier when caitlyn has to tell vi she was with someone else too like no you do care acc!! tho caitlyn getting betrayed by a fling and almost executed is hot girl activities. like shes just my little female fantasy character

*jinx didn't get shit in writing but at least she got some cunt back. but oh my god the way her arc did nothing like both her and vi, for main characters esoecially, really adjust to the most nonsensical plot

*ambessa just got a mess of a season to be evil in like she couldn't live up to silco in s1 as a villain. I will be thinking about her and caitlyn touching each other tho. and then mel killing her??? incredible work ill cry over what could have been if it was good

*caitlyn losing an eye and getting an eyepatch girl you know this one is made for me

*mels mage lil look being just quite literally just lingerie and like one of those cheap sets you get from sex shops that come in a bag, just to remind you what game this show was born of. not that I'll hold it against her as a kai'sa main

*hollered when jayce told viktor there's beauty in imperfection mf he was dying

*I bet jinxs death scene could eat 8

in a show that isn't this. but this was so ass like the whole storyline was just ass so this doesn't feel like silos death where it's like obviously you don't want a bitch to die but it makes absolute sense for the character. this is just dumb

*I KNOW I SAID IT BUT AGAIN this show will try to fix anything through a speech I swear to fucking god. arcane believes these two cities just needed to go to couples therapy

*caitlyns so sexy with an eyepatch. like she just is. this was the highlight of the season, that caitlyn needed this fuck ass arc to get super hot

[slycooperconfessions]

This isn't a confession, I just wanted to have a discussion about this because I'm curious to see if anyone else feels the same way. Does anyone else feel like Sly 4 sort of retroactively lowered your opinion of Sly 3? Because I've realized a lot of the poor writing decisions in Sly 4 stem directly from flaws in Sly 3's own writing. For example, I hated the villain twist with Penelope in Sly 4. But I've actually seen a few people defending it, saying that Penelope was always kind of sketchy with her whole Black Baron persona. And to be honest, they're kind of not wrong. Sly 3 never really did give us much of an explanation for why the hell Penelope acts so different as the Baron. Honestly, as the Baron she's fucking RUTHLESS. She's willing to cheat and kill to win, is capable of fist fighting Sly on the wing of a moving plane, etc. Yet afterwards she acts all sweet, helpless and innocent and gets used as a damsel in distress multiple times, despite us seeing her combat capabilities as the Baron? Begrudgingly, I can kind of see how Sanzaru (or anyone else) could get the impression that there's something "off" about her.

I also hated the Carmelita belly dancing bit in Sly 4 and thought it was fucking gross. But to be honest, Sly 3 itself sort of set a precedent for treating Carmelita this way. "Carmelargea" from the Rumble Down Under level was maybe less overtly sexual but no less gross. They literally had us climbing up her pants for that fight. You can't look at that and tell me someone on the Sly 3 dev team didn't have a giantess fetish. So them skimping on giving Rumble Down Under a proper antagonist just so that they could instead have the Mask of Dark Earth as an excuse to enlarge Carmelita is... pretty sleazy, actually.

Then there was the whole Sly faking amnesia thing. During Sly 4 I couldn't help but feel like Carmelita was being a little hypocritical for her anger at being lied to by Sly. She literally lied too. She lied to someone she thought was an amnesiac about his identity. Which just sort of highlights how bad the end of Sly 3 is. They decided to have Sly and Carmelita start off their new relationship based on lies? Ok then.

I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say that Sly 4 changed my opinion of Sly 3, but there are some valid points here.

As far as Penelope's huge personality shift from the Baron to her normal self, I think it was partly to throw people off of the reveal that the Baron IS Penelope. Hell, Penelope even helps the gang in Episode 3 by defending their hangar from goons looking to wreck their plane, whereas the Baron seems to have no issues with foul play and engages in it often. Thinking about it deeper, the Baron might have become a full-fledged alternate personality for Penelope since she was using the ruse so often and got pumped up by people treating him as a celebrity. When she gets some sense slapped into her after fighting Sly, I think it snapped her out of this pattern and she was able to let it go. As far has how strong the Baron is, there's theories that the Baron suit is actually a cybernetic situation that greatly enhances her physical abilities, which I think holds water because her natural abilities are more tailored to her technical know-how and inventions. Once she abandons the Baron suit, she abandons the raw strength and ruthlessness the Baron gave her. I've held the opinion that her turning more villainous in Sly 4 is not necessarily out of nowhere, it was just written horribly and abruptly IMO. There's nothing we see leading up to it that makes it make sense, it just happens. Had it been handled differently, I think it would have been received much better.

As far as giant Carmelita...yeah, I got nothing. Probably a case of the "writer's poorly disguised fetish" meme because I remember being 11 years old thinking "This is...odd." But by then I had also developed an attraction to both Sly and Carmelita, so I rolled with it lol.

What do y'all think?

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 1, Episode 11 review

Red dragon part 1!!!!!!

Absolutely fantastic episode. No real complaints. Spoilers below! NO REALLY THERE ARE SPOILERS.

Sometimes the camera is too close to the characters and I really don't like it, examples are when Marcille and Laios are talking before Laios goes to try his final attack against the dragon, and when Senshi is helping Chilchuck pick up the sword and throw it to Laios.

The camera is zoomed in so close to Senshi that it's genuinely hard to understand what's happening, especially with all the sakuga speedlines. I'm sure that bit of animation was gorgeous but I couldn't see enough of it to understand what movement Senshi was making!

Didn't like how multiple times they zoomed in on character's eyes while they were talking so you couldn't see their mouths for the entire shot - normally you'd start with a shot that shows the mouth moving and then cut to the closeup without the mouth to save budget, but just going straight to the eyes closeup... Made it hard to tell if they were speaking out loud or thinking. This is just sloppy storyboarding IMO and not the end of the world, but it was noticeable and bugged me. Maybe it was like that in the manga? But then there are dialog bubbles vs thought bubbles so it's clear if it's a thought or spoken out loud. Anime doesn't have that.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way the magic words written on surfaces are being animated like they're a gunpowder trail/wick for a traditional explosive. WONDERFUL detail, so inventive and fun! I don't think that was in the manga but it fits in SO WELL with the vibes of dungeon meshi. Fantastic addition.

Loved Marcille's little bouncing spell.

The jokes in this episode all landed so fucking well. Just incredibly funny and good, pacing was immaculate.

Marcille healing Chilchuck and Senshi rofl.

Funny that they put Marcille on TOP of the building she exploded, I think it was more ambiguous in the manga or she was off to the side. Putting her on top of it was certainly a choice, and funny lmao.

The pathos and the drama... god. Laios' final attack on the dragon. Losing his leg. It was all incredibly well done. The way the sound and color cut out, Laios hyping himself up to do something he knows will be excruciatingly painful.... top ten Laios moments for sure. This episode captures his character so wonderfully. That's my boy!!!!

(thinks about if they're going to handle Kabru's moment of falling into the dungeon with this amount of intensity..... ohgodplease.)

I love how gory they get with the dragon, the butchering sequence so far is fantastic, I hope anime onlies are like "haha... ha..... what the fuck this is kind of intense? and gross?" because they do not know what they're in for lmao.

While I DO LOVE the way they revealed Falin's skull (what an incredible pov shot!!!!!!!) I kind of miss the panel that was in the original manga... Where Laios pulls the skull out of the clump of hair in a way that looks like a baby's head coming out of the vagina during childbirth. That panel was REALLY intense in a quiet horror sort of way in the original, and I miss it.... BUT they replaced it with something equally cool so I can forgive it.

They had new dub actors for the Touden father in this episode, and some random villagers. Since those characters have VERY few lines, I'm wondering if these actors have been double-cast and if we'll see them again playing other roles later, since this has been the case for most of the other minor characters so far.

[mzuark]

The Boondocks was kinda problematic

TW: N-word because Boondocks

I've been thinking about the Boondocks recently and I was wondering about how much of it aged well. Some of it did for sure, like the R. Kelly Trial, Luna, and that Obama episode, but there's a handful of things that I think were dumb back then and only got worse. Here's 3 big examples:

Ed and Rummy are two fan favorites who generally represented early 2000s politics via George Bush (Ed the face) and Donald Rumsfield (Gin Rummy, the behind-the-scenes guy). One running gag with them was that Ed was a fucking moron and Rummy was his straight man. Everything Ed said was meant to be seen as stupid and Rummy was supposed to be talking sense into him. One example of this was with the famous "Nigga Technology" bit, technology for niggas. Nigga, in this context, is used as a general ignorant motherfucker and not just black folks (Which has some wild implications right out the gate by the way). So Ed would buy something new on the market and Rummy would try to convince him that it's silly and superfluous. Some examples were texting, wireless headsets, and iphones. Aaron Mcgruder couldn't have been older than 30 when those episodes were written up but they make bro look like a fucking luddite. "New tech bad, old thing good." Now I don't know about you, but I think texting was a handy invention that's made the world a much more convinient place, headsets too even if they do make you look homeless. The iphone joke was made in season 3, which was around 2009 so I think the writers might've realized they would look ridiculous making that same argument for an objectively good device.

A second example that kinda rubs me wrong was Cristal, like the champagne. Now this might be a little spicy but I believe that sex workers are people. Cristal got done dirty as hell in that episode because they kept insisting that her life of hoing and being a human trafficking victim was self inflicted and entirely her own fault. Nobody fucking chooses to work for a pimp, no matter how funny he is. Oh but she's a trifling gold digger so it's okay, what a concept. Then there's the side joke about whether or not all women are hoes and it's just like...eh.

Finally, I want to talk about Return of the King. This is the jewel in the crown of Boondocks social commentary and I really don't think it achieved what was intended. The episode's climax was a speech by Dr. King taking down pretty much everything you can think of about black culture and entertainment, especially fucking BET, and causing societal change. If any writers are reading this, I regret to inform you that you can't get a bunch of black people in one room, call them and everything they care about stupid, and then expect a positive outcome. It's not that it's a bad message, it's just incredibly condescending and unhelpful. That speech does more to help racists than actual black people from what I've seen. The old "Black people vs Niggas" joke that Chris Rock once made is another example of that, appealing to "the good ones" and putting everyone else under an umbrella with very unspecific parameters.

So in conclusion, I loved The Boondocks but damn has it not aged quite as well as I thought.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Since you gave us such a fun poll about overrated ships, name ten ships that you consider overrated and a sentence or two about why you don't love them as much as most fans do :)

Ooh this is fun, okay:

Rachel and Ross from Friends- okay, I know they are not very popular on this site specifically but generally they are held as this gold standard of will-they/won't-they iconic couple that basically invented shipping and other couples are compared to. But if you look at the actual show, you might realize they actually dated only for 10% of it. The rest was bickering and excuses.

Blair and Chuck from Gossip Girl- everything I said about Roschel applies also here, but in this case I literally can't stand them (with Roschel I am pretty neutral). When I first watched the show I thought: "these two are toxic af but I could see why people like them or find them entertaining" but now it's not even that. When I did my rewatch of some of the seasons I found myself cringing whenever these two had a romantic scene together, because I just saw no chemistry! This is extremely unpopular I know, but I wish they kept Chuck a chaotic villain and not turned him into the romantic lead because it just felt so forced.

Joey and Pacey from Dawson's Creek - this is very unpopular even on this site, so please don't send hate, but I just prefer Pacey with Andie, because imo that love story is much better written and progresses more naturally. With Pacey and Joey it seemed like the writers themselves couldn't agree if they want them together or not. I could write a whole essay about this so if you are interested just send an ask lol.

Haley and Nathan from One Tree Hill - I know on paper I should love this couple but I just don't. Their enemies to lovers arc was so rushed- they literally went from hating each other to dating in like 5 episodes and then from dating to marriage in less than a season, while they were still in high school! I also didn't like how there was so much focus on sex or lack thereof while they were dating.

Brittany and Santana from Glee - I used to like them before I realized how messed up they really are. Brittany outed Santana twice, once on a public YouTube channel, and tried to force her out of the closet by making her a t-shirt that says lesbian and telling her that if she loves her she will wear it. And then once Santana was out of the closet, Brittany leaked their sex tape!

Ian and Mickey from Shameless - I just can't get over the fact that Mickey brutally beat up Ian in season 3. I know that this is a show full of messed up people doing messed up things, but this is stopping me from ever seriously shipping them.

Effy and Freddie from Skins - I don't understand why she chose him over Cook, when the whole season she seemed to be pining over Cook and Freddie's feelings for her seemed very one-sided. At least up until the point Freddie got a gf and stopped pining after Effy, she didn't seem to care about him too much. Also she and Cook are much more similar while Freddie is such a boring character whose only personality trait is that he's sad.

Lorelai and Luke from Gilmore Girls - it pains to say me so much, because their buildup was so great, but their actual relationship was a mess.

Logan and Rory from Gilmore Girls - okay these two are not overrated in the sense of everyone loves them but many people if they are not full shippers say that they are the "only healthy and mature relationship on the show", which is not true. They fight, ghost each other, give each other silent treatment, get jealous and possessive of each other, and have communication issues too. They are not some pinacle of healthy relationships.

Last but not least, Romeo and Juliet were supposed be some kind of a romantic tale of love? The pinacle of romance? I am convinced that the people who say that didn't even read the book.

I feel the need to clarify again that these are all just my opinions which I am aware are unpopular. If you like one or multiple of these, that's also fine, that's nothing wrong with that.

[lazyrants]

Miss Roberta (prod 127)

Original airdate: August 4, 2005

Written by Noah Zachary, Cole Louie

Directed by Raymond P. Le Gue, Jonathan Judge

Executive producers - Magnus Scheving, Ragnheidur Melsted, Raymond P. Le Gue, Mark Read, Brown Johnson, Kay Wilson Stallings

Starring Magnus Scheving, Stefan Karl Steffanson, Julianna Rose Mauriello

Puppeteers - Ronald Binion, Gudmondor Thor Karason, Jodi Eichelberger, David Matthew Feldman, Julie Westwood

Miss Roberta is the last LazyTown episode I have to watch before I can put my New Superhero DVD to MORE use and watch the episode, so let's try to get through it quick.

The episode begins with Sportacus having a cup of water like a normal guy would, but Sportacus is no normal guy. So he gets his baseball bat, an ice cube and hits the cube so perfectly it lands straight into the cup.

THEN he drinks it like a normal guy would. While Milford is cooking breakfast (this guy is actually amazing, he runs an entire town and he still has time to make food for his cousin), Stephanie tells him he is gonna throw a thank you party for Sportacus. About time! But she has her worries, considering the kids act kinda 'wild' whenever they have a party.

Ziggy burped the entire way the last time they had one, and Stingy hid all the presents. Milford says he found one in his bread box. LOL! Milford tells Stephanie to give the kids a second chance, but then when she asks him to have the party at his house, he's all like 'WITH THOSE KIDS???' XD. David Matthew Feldman is hilarious. Anyways, it was just a joke and Stephanie has her breakfast then leaves.

Classic 2000s Disney comedy sitcom moment where the adult guardian makes breakfast and the kid only takes one sip of juice. This time, Milford has made eggs, toast and bacon for Stephanie. However, she's not the only one with a drinking crave - Ziggy is slurping an entire cup of soda when she comes to tell them about the party. And whaddya know?

HE BURPS. FOR EIGHT SECONDS. STRAIGHT. WITHOUT EXCUSING HIMSELF. AND EVERYONE (except Stephanie who can tell that's just immature and unfunny) LAUGHS. Then he does it again. This time four seconds. Why is Ziggy just such an annoying character in the show? That is what I hate, they spend so much time writing up stories and lessons for Ziggy to learn, but in the next episode he's still dumb and annoying. Comic relief? Anyways, she tells them she's having a party but they can't come if they do stuff like that.

Robbie is eavesdropping and mocks Stephanie. Then he thinks he has a great idea. He questions it being a sneeze, but it's an idea. XD! He says if he teaches the kids to be really wild, Sportacus'll give up on them and leave town forever. Then he starts reading 'Manners for Polite Boys & Girls'.

But Robbie has some hilarious opinions on the rules. Number 1 - Always say please and thank you? Waste of words! Number 2 - Always chew with your mouth closed? You can't jam enough food in there! Number 3 - Never eat with your fingers? What are you supposed to do, eat with your toes? (You have to admit he had a point on that one).

Then comes Disguise Time.. as a woman. An elderly woman. Master of Disguise is truly at work, XD. His name is now Miss Roberta and he teaches kids how to act right by Robbie's standards.

And here comes a risky joke that surprises me - 'Whoever invented high heels must've been very ..... short!' XD. Stephanie lets the kids come to the party as long as they can behave. Then once she mentions cake, Ziggy goes wild until Stingy calms him down and they start acting all fancy. This show is hilarious. Then they perform 'Cooking by The Book'.

Everything is going well until Ziggy licks some frosting and burps. Stephanie scolds him but he says he couldn't stop him.. or her. It could be a boy or girl burp. XD! Stephanie starts doubting the party, but they just need some help with manners. In comes Miss Roberta! While they're running to her, Trixie trips Stingy and Ziggy.

They might've found it funny. Nick viewers might've found it funny. I didn't. Miss Roberta is at a table with a heavily modified version of 'Manners for Polite Boys & Girls'. Her hand is in the book and once she shuts it she yells. Now THAT'S funny. Anyways, after Steph leaves to get something, Robbie says that it's time to start his evil plan and all the kids are confused until he corrects himself. Then and there I'd knew it was Robbie.

Stephanie asks Milford to fix some stuff (she gives him a list) to buy them some time while the kids set up the party so that Sportacus'll save him. because whenever Bessie asks him to fix something, she does it and then messes up and needs to get saved. Then Milford asks 'I DOES??' then corrects himself. XD. Anyways, the plan works and the first thing he does is chop some leaves in a reused scene from Sportafake. Whaddya know, he gets saved.

Milford says it was such a SURPRISE to be saved by him, but he corrects himself and changes the topic by asking if Sportacus got a new suit. DAVID. FELDMAN. IS. HILARIOUS. Once Sportacus leaves, he checks the list, and the next step is to carry around dangerously heavy logs of wood. Anyways, Miss Roberta's first client is Ziggy and he tells him that burping is right.

In fact, she says that Stephanie is wrong because she's never burped, she doesn't have good manners, and hasn't wrote a book about them. And then he says that his problem is burping too quiet. Why is that so funny to me?? She demonstrates by biting into a cookie and doing a little baby burp, and then she says that with a burp like that'd you'd think she hated your food.

Then she does a hilariously huge burp to say that if you do that, it'd be obvious you liked the food. Then Ziggy does his own huge three second burp much to Roberta's liking. Anyways, Milford is carrying wood, and here comes another recycled rescue, this time from 'My Treehouse'. Milford is about to fall down while carrying the wood and Sportacus pushes a wheelbarrow. Sportacus also catches a drink that was in the air with his log and slides it down to Milford.

Milford tells Sportacus he cannot wait to relax at the party, then he corrects himself by saying surprise. XD! Milford is so bumbling, clumsy, and forgettable, but he is hilarious. He asks Sportacus to leave before Milford gets into more trouble.

So after all that, Milford is STILL going to do the list, and the next thing is: Prepare Miss Busybody's fence. My god, Stephanie has got a career as a 'keep-busy-list' writer. Anyways, Stingy is admiring a tall present when Miss Roberta jumpscares him (Five Rooms at Roberta's) and tells him once those presents are given away they're gone forever, and to think about the poor person who has to open them all alone. So Miss Roberta tells him to open them.

But Stingy has his doubts, so Miss Roberta leaves UNTIL the clown takes the gift that he gave to the superhero that saves his life a million times a week and opens it. Character development shattered episode after episode! Here comes another recycled rescue scene, this time from Sportafake again! Milford is fixing the fence while chatting with a relaxing Bessie, who tells him to shut his mouth.

He takes that advice and when Sportacus helps him with the fence, he doesn't say a single word to him and it works! But once he starts talking again, the words just explode out of his mouth. XD!!!Meanwhile, Stephanie finishes practicing her 'We're Dancing' performance, and just in time for the party. She sends a letter to Sportacus' ship and asks him to walk with her somewhere.

So, they enter the party, and it is an ugly scene. Stephanie is on the verge of crying (I would be too), Miss Roberta is super happy until they tell Steph that she told them to do it. Then she decides to leave via the window and ends up with a bush on her head. She starts running all over the place and Sportacus saves her using a skateboard. But the wig has fell off and the disguise is revealed.

At least in this season, this was the most logical way for the disguise to be revealed. Robbie storms off to the lair in anger his plan failed. Stephanie apologizes for the plan failing, but Sportacus says all he needed was their friendship. (This is so cute- Oh, I mean, rad bro. Boys don't use that yucky word.) Then they sing Bing Bang. Robbie's feet hurt so much that he dips them into boiling water.

I liked that episode a lot! But I kinda wish that we got an explanation as to why Trixie misbehaved. 8/10

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

s1ep3 lady wifi

the only thing i have to say about this one is i know there's a second lady wifi episode and it really demonstrates how badly the show was written

this is episode three!! and they have to use lady wifi later again bc they ran out of things to do

not to mention, they couldn't be more inventive in their akumatizations in the first season

the first season if for us to build a rapport with the characters we're going to be seeing most often, so when they're akumatized, we care about them and it can really add some depth to their character. instead, they decide to akumatize marinette's best friend in episode 3???

there's no drama in that! we don't care about her yet! we don't even know what she wants to do when she grows up at this point (either if it was run in the order according to the creator OR the netflix order), so we don't even care about the plot of this episode and why it got her akumatized.

like okay, i can maybe give them a pass bc 3d models are hard to make and animate, and to make a bunch of one-offs would be difficult. but if they knew that, they should've planned for it or something! rather than sacrifice the integrity of the story-telling. but that's just me

honestly, i really wish they had kept it to 2d animation. i know ladybug's spots were hard to animate, but if they had just. yknow, changed the design to include less spots, they maybe could've still done 2d.

not to mention, you can already tell they were strapped for cash at how janky the 3d animation is. it's speaks of jimmy neutron ear 3d animation. which is not a bad thing btw. i enjoyed jimmy neutron as much as the next kid. but you can't lie, that 3d animation was janky af lol

anyway it's textbook for a monster of the week shows to do a bunch of one-offs so we can get used to the main characters and then introduce/akumatize recurrent characters once you've established a rapport with them.

edit: forgot to add the fact that in this ep, tikki literally has to say "you have to fight your best friend!" for the audience to understand marinette and alya's relationship instead of just. yknow. showing us that.

[dearyallfrommatt]

DC produced a comic adaptation of the TV show which featured a lot of characters that for this reason or that couldn't be included in the show. Blue Beetle was one of them, along with Firestorm and Power Girl just off the top of my head. I remember reading some folks thought he was barred from the cartoon because of the Blue Beetle character on The Electric Company from PBS, but that's not so. Worse luck, he was free and clear to use.

Anyhow, Ted was featured in a couple of issues. One, he went up solo against the Gen. Eling version of the Hairy Man (this was after the Patriot Act episode that brought together the Seven Soldiers of Victory), and another featuring him and Booster Gold. It was classic Blue & Gold "Bwah-hah-hah" written by the late Kieth Giffen, author of those classic Justice League International stories.

You probably know this, but allow me to nerd out. The Ted Kord Beetle's adventures - along with, among others, the Question and Captain Atom - were published in the '60s & '70s by Charlton Comics, one of the many Number Threes that have come and gone. They went out of business and DC bought up the properties, introducing them to the universe (and readers) during the Crisis On Infinite Earths. Later, they provided readers with some of the best comics of the late '80s/early '90s. Seriously, check out Dennis O'Neil's Question run. Top notch.

Anyhow. Charlton didn't invent the character of the Blue Beetle, though, and he wasn't originally techno-wizard Ted Kord. The original Blue Beetle was one of the earliest costumed do-gooders, first appearing in 1939's Mystery Men Comics by Fox Publications. They were an interesting company, known for pushing the boundaries when it came to horror and sleaze.

As far as memorable characters go, they're best known for two of the silliest: The Bouncer and Stardust the Super Wizard. They also published Matt Baker, one of the few pre-WW2 African-American comic artists, and his "good girl" work with Phantom Girl acquired from Quality Comics (Plastic Man, The Blackhawks, etc.) and a take on Thor I know nothing about, but the rest was pretty much "rip off something popular and see what we can get away with."

Initially, Dan Garret was the son of a police officer slain in the line of duty. So he pulls a Bruce Wayne, runs around in a bulletproof costume, and takes a vitamin that makes him faster and stronger. Typical Golden Age stuff. He sort of did a Green Hornet/Phantom thing by marking his folks with a scarab-shaped whatzit and had the normal supporting cast (blonde reporter in love with the hero but scornful of the secret identity, comic sidekick, old guy, etc.).

He became a U.S. agent during World War 2 and his super vitamin started giving him real superpowers like flight and X-ray vision. Later, when superhero comics fell out of vogue, he became the host of a horror/crime anthology, not unlike Captain America did in the '50s. Still, Dan Garret was pretty popular. He had a radio serial produced by CBS that made him out more like the Shadow and a daily comic strip drawn by, among others, Jack Kirby (under a pseudonym).

After briefly being published by Holyoke Comics (no one of note apart from a Batman rip-off, Cat-Man & Kitten (yes, she's a she)), the character was picked up by then-young Charlton Comics in the '60s. They made some changes. This time around, Dan Garrett (they added an extra "t") was an archeologist who found a blue scarab on a dig. When saying the magic words "Kaji Dha!" Garrett was transformed into the Blue Beetle, with super strength, flight, X-ray vision, the ability to shoot energy beams, and whatever the story called for.

The stories were actually pretty camp, even for '60s comics, but Dan was replaced in 1966 by Ted Kord. I don't know how the story's been changed, but Ted was a favorite student of Dan (even though Ted's an engineer and, well, comic books, I guess), and answers a call for help. He finds his teacher mortally wounded and vows to take up his mantle. However, he can never make the scarab work, so he turns his engineering genius into a weapon against crime. He was created by Steve Ditko, so bonus points there.

Dan's made a couple of background appearances in the DCU and was once brought back to life by the scarab to fight his successor. Ted Kord's been a favorite since I was a kid and I fell in love with Jaime Reyes from the get-go, though I didn't care as much for the Blue Beetle series where Ted tries to play the mentor role for Jaime. I don't like it when comics portray Ted as considered a loser among the rest of the heroes, though I know continuity's been flip-flopped a couple of times since he went down in the most badass way possible.

In a world where gods clash and men can run faster than the speed of light, a guy who dresses like a bug and uses a gun that's expressly meant not to kill has the biggest balls in the DC universe. Plus, he's probably the only billionaire superhero who isn't carrying a boatload of baggage.

Kaji Dha!

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Elseworlds Addendum

Blue Beetle / Ted Kord

A brilliant industrialist and designer, Ted Kord decided to use his acumen for mechanical engineering to fight crime as the masked vigilante known as The Blue Beetle.  Along with a levitating hover-car aptly named ‘The Bug,’ Kord devised numerous non-lethal crime-fighting weapons.  This ranged from an incapacitating strobe-light gun to bug-shaped flying surveillance drones. 

Although Ted had inherited the extraterrestrial scarab from the original Blue Beetle, the scarab never bonded with him and he remained unaware of the awesome powers this item could bestow.  The scarab ultimately ended up bonding with young Jaime Reyes who was able to unlock the full potential of the alien weapon and operated as the third Blue Beetle.  

The Blue Beetle was not included in the original DCAU due to licensing issues.  The production company was unaware of whether or not they owned the intellectual property rights to produce cartoons and toys based on the character and hence he was left out.  Which is a true shame in that an episode dedicated to the madcap high-jinks of Blue Beetle partnering up with his best buddy, Booster Gold, could have been a highlight of the series.   

[h50europe]

Why the myth about Steve's PTSD doesn't add up and other inconsistencies

In the last few episodes of H50, PL tried to sell us a mentally broken Steve suffering from PTSD. Only the whole thing came a bit too late. The clip you see is from season 4 and ended up - no, not in the series - but somewhere on the floor of PL's editing room. And why? after Kurtzman and Orci departed, along with their writers, PL took the helm and started turning Steve into a super-soldier. He stylized him into something that wasn't meant to be. Instead of developing the characters, PL began to incorporate more and more hair-raising action sequences into the series and then let Steve fight on the front lines. There was no mention of Steve's mental state, and a lot was explained by PL with: it just happened "offscreen." Yeah, sure. PL can't create a decent character. He can only produce stereotypes and one-dimensional beings. Like Adam. What potential would that character have had had he been turned into Five-0's antagonist? But no. So his role remained diffuse and monotonous. Sometimes even tragicomical.

Back to Steve. When SEAL Team started on CBS, PL also lapsed into SEAL mania. If someone who writes fanfiction were to produce as much garbage as this man did, he would be chased away from every writers' platform in disgrace. PL's Super SEAL also had to rescue his team members from a blazing inferno. Not man by man, no, he flew a helicopter right into the danger zone and lifted a whole cabin out of the burning jungle. If lunacy had a name, it would be PL. While the action became more and more exaggerated and unrealistic, the same happened to the protagonists. After the departure of Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park, PL completely lost his mind. And please, don't blame the writers for the nonsense that was thrown at you. A series stands and falls with the showrunner. He dictates what he wants and passes it on to his staff.

And so, lovable Steve became a soulless robot who only showed feelings here and there. Danny diminished more and more into a sidekick. McDanno became a ship that drifted anchorless through a stormy sea and threatened to capsize again and again. From season 8, it became a reboot of the reboot. PL tried an ensemble show and failed more than miserably. Often the actors just stood around bored. At least that was the impression. The only highlight was episode 8.10. A feast for all McDanno fans. But even here, the outcome of "who shot Danny" was more than insubstantial.

Wait, there was something about SEALs... Oh, yes. Junior appeared on the scene and became Steve's lapdog. I really wondered when there was going to be an episode where he would fetch sticks for Steve. Luckily we had Eddie for that. And because he thought he was so clever, PL invented the episode speed dating. How many subplots can you squeeze into one episode at the same time? In some episodes, you couldn't even take a look at the bag of potato chips without losing the thread.

The case of the week became the yawn of the week. There were so many loose ends that PL then came up with something called retconning. That's what you do when you're no longer satisfied with what was once established in the series years ago, or it no longer fits. But PL went one step further and did the same with the characters. The more the series was dragged out, the more the characters deteriorated and became OOC. It means, often, they were not recognizable at all. And that's where we come to Steve. Because PL, in his desperation, didn't know what else he could do to Steve, and so he killed Joe White. He did it in such a cheesy way with a fake sunset that it made you sick.

Of course, one episode later, there had to be another gig of PL's favorite Barbie. He stuck a fake beard on poor Steve/Alex, so he couldn't even hug Danny/Scott properly. The episode also raised more questions than it answered any. And Steve? He still didn't suffer from PTSD, even though he had now lost Joe White and a fellow SEAL. Everyone is dropping like flies, except for Steve, who is standing like a rock. No matter what. He doesn't need in-depth talks with Danny, nor psychological care, nor any sleeping pills. No, he's doing great. He also opens a restaurant with Danny because apparently, the carguments are already getting on PL's nerves. Unfortunately, this plot device leads into nirvana. The idea was nice, but nobody thought it through to the end. And the merry-go-round continues. Until we get to season 10, where it gets even more absurd. Now PL is almost bombarding us with McDanno episodes, or at least it should seem that way. Oh well, he's already planning for season 11, so a new character has to come on board quickly. While in the beginning, Steve's mother, Doris, dies.

Alex was allowed to take on the subject. Of course, only under the strict eyes of PL. He then nullifies Alex's idea that Steve kills his mother. Because a good soldier and Super SEAL won't do that. Little does PL know. THAT could have been the opening of a PTSD scenario for Steve. However, apart from that, this episode would have had any potential for a multi-arc. Just imagine Steve chasing his mother across multiple episodes. Again, PL stepped in and butchered Alex's episode. You can really feel sorry for the guy. PL at his best or worse? He just can't help it. And then, on the very last meters of the series, he brings someone new, who is allowed to cruise around with Steve most of the time. Because Danny was kidnapped by Wo Fat's widow, PL also invented quite late to have some villain at his disposal. This wannabe mastermind must really have been living under a rock somewhere if she wasn't even mentioned by her husband or appeared earlier.

Because towards the end, PL obviously ran out not only of steam but also of ideas, everything culminated in a wildly illogical scenario. Steve has to live through a dramatic day with Eddie, who stands as a metaphor for Steve (as I said, PTSD was never a thing for Super SEAL), Danny bangs his brains out in a ladies' room with a complete stranger, who dies shortly after that in an accident with Danny's rental car. Apparently, there was no budget to turn the Camaro into scrap metal. Danny then also goes home alone, ignoring the incoming emergency vehicles. Everything remains open at the end of the episode. While Steve expresses his gratitude to Tani and Quinn and says, he would be just as lost as poor Eddie without the dog and all of them. The strange thing is that you never notice anything until that sentence. A few forced dialogues are supposed to make the drama visible, but they all happen way too late or are so poorly written that you miss them.

PL had decided early on to make Steve a Teflon hero. That also means he didn't need to put much substance into the character. Which you can clearly see if you compare the first three seasons to the rest of the series. But towards the end, PL wanted to turn the tide and forcefully rewrote Steve's past. There is a huge difference if you compare Steve from seasons 1 to 3 with Steve from season 10. It is only a sparse remnant of what made this character so great. This change in Steve's personality also affects his relationship with Danny. The witty, affectionate banter degenerates into a snappy, humorless bitch-fest that takes all the joy out of it.

The final two episodes could have been written for any other crime show. As mentioned, we have Cole, who even gets a book'em Cole from Steve, which can only be described as out of line. And it begs the question, was that what Lenkov originally had in mind? Danny out of the show and Cole in? Was the last episode, which mainly featured McCole, something of a test run? Did all the McDanno moments happen only to tear the two apart eventually? Was the real final scene the one where Steve and Catherine take Danny's coffin back to Jersey? Was Danny not supposed to survive? Was that the real reason Steve wanted to get out of Hawaii because he wanted to pay his respects to Danny? And would he really have returned to Hawaii later? Or would he have turned his back on Hawaii? To me, this ending is more plausible than what PL served us. Then, Steve handed over his credentials to Cole instead of Danny, his second in command. Honestly, you can't make the end of a series any more sloppy and dumber than that. And I won't even lose a word about the last 1:30 minutes because I think everything has already been said.

No PL, mission absolutely not accomplished. You created Teflon-Steve. You never wanted him to show any weakness. You turned him into a superhuman who can survive anything. Only to pull the rug out from under him on the last few meters to the finish line and spit on his legacy. How can you dismantle such a great series and its characters like you did? How much do you have to hate something to do that? In the final interviews, the showrunner didn't exactly cover himself in glory either. Everyone who grew up with the series from day one knows that its end was wrong on all the possible levels and that the showrunner is solely to blame for that. It takes a fair amount of egoism and carelessness to drive 10 years at full throttle against the wall. Not many people can do that. Whether you can be proud of that, however, I doubt.

My respect if you have made it this far. Each of you gets 10 extra brownie points for it.

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2021: Embarrassment of Riches

So this current anime season absolutely stinks, which just makes the last one look even more impressive. Well, maybe not all of it...

Zombieland Saga Revenge

First off, you don't need to tell me that the following is a severe outlier opinion. We good? Ok. ZLSR is, in a word, subpar. I liked S1 back in the day, but it was already in the process of getting lazy towards the end. S2 continues this trend and is basically just another idol show. And as someone who actually does watch other idol shows I have to say that it's not a particularly good one of those either. The zombie gimmick has mostly stopped mattering and we're just doing what every idol show does, only with the odd occasional sight gag. The alleged subversive qualities mostly amount to a flashback for Yuugiri, which is admittedly the best part of the show but feels like it barely has anything to do with anything. Apart from that, it's a bunch of generic idol plots, rehashed character beats, shoddy attempts at twists (while not connecting to any setups from S1), and the obligatory "idols give us hope" ending, which is terribly hackneyed and flat out bad. Tae gets further memed into the ground, because of course she does. And there's stuff that was simply never good to begin with, like Kotarou and his comedy schtick, which gets truly insufferable now that there's no qualities to distract from it. It really makes me think that S1 wasn't even all that good to begin with and seems like an attempt to turn this surprise success into an easy money longrunner with no edge and no ambitions. "The idol show for people who don't watch idol shows" indeed, but not the way you mean it. 4/10

Bakuten

But not to dwell on the failures, with the second show we're already above the cut — barely. This one got my attention with its really impressive performance scenes early on and it totally sticks to that, which is even more impressive. But besides that? Well, this is by far the most predictable show in a season where I watched an unambitious Kiraralike and put ZLS on blast for having no ideas. The characters are a mixed bag, some are cool (Shida, Asawo), some are very annoying (Mashiro), but those are the supports. The main cast is extremely one-dimensional, which is fine until they try to heap a ton of pathos on their lead, which doesn't go well. But I guess execution matters, and Bakuten is slick enough to get by. Writing this down in stark daylight I feel like I overrated this show somewhat (I actually put it over the next one originally, which definitely doesn't hold up when thinking about it), but I was indeed mostly entertained. 6/10

Yakunara Mug Cup mo

Yeah. Of course Mug Cup definitely doesn't invent or subvert anything either, but it's a pretty good Kiraralike that's always entertaining to watch. Explaining the qualities of such a nothing genre is as difficult as ever, but it mostly comes down to me liking the characters and it having nothing to annoy me. It's shorter than normal, which is a plus for slim shows like this. And yeah, you can make an excessive amount of dick jokes with the clay fondling. That helps too. Looks are just fine, pleasant but nothing out of the ordinary. Comfy low-effort anime. 6/10

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

This one is decent, but sadly still a major letdown. Because the first few episodes of Vivy were excellent and kicked ass, but then it became increasingly clear that the writing can't cash the checks the ideas wrote while the action starts running into severely diminishing returns. Vivy just keeps slowly getting worse and worse as it goes on, not by a huge amount each episode but by the end there's a pretty sizeable gulf between potential and result. Going into detail would probably be a little much for this venue because there's a lot, but from the top level view the issue is that while Vivy has good fundamental ideas and steals at the right places, it just isn't a smart show — it's schlock, and by the end, poorly thought out schlock that tries to smooth out every problem with liberal application of the big feels hammer and le epic twist at that. Yeah, couldn't tell that the Re:Zero dude was aboard here, for sure. That said, it still works pretty well as entertaining schlock that is not to be taken too seriously, and the characters are generally just very fun to watch even when they're doing stupid things. Still, I can't in good conscience rate this higher than Beatless, a show that looks like butt but properly executes on its ideas. 6/10

Super Cub

So this is 100% a Honda commercial, and I got really mad a Yuru Camp last season for being a blatant shill. Yet I'm feeling this, what gives? I think the main difference is that Super Cub is specifically a commercial for one product (and a very iconic product at that), while Yuru Camp is so all over the place that it ends up mostly a commercial for consumerism in general. And when Super Cub goes too hard on the product (which it does), it's at least pretty entertaining. That's something about Super Cub in general: It goes hard. Your regular Kiraralike this is not, because it's uncommonly slow, focused and moody - yes, it almost measures up to Yuru Camp at its best and demolishes it at its worst. Also, it's just extremely amusing to see sadblob Koguma grow a huge grizzly biker beard and become a badass outlaw dad to her goofy wife and cute daughter, all thanks to the power of afforable personal transportation. Needless to say, that can get unintentionally silly, but Super Cub has so much charm that it doesn't matter — it's great when it's good and still funny when it's not. 7/10

Shadows House

Shadows House turned up with a lot of potential, and I have to say it at least delivered on most of it. It has some problems; notably I'm not a fan of how the entire middle turned out to be a tournament arc of sorts that seems curiously inspired by Resident Evil memes, crest-shaped intentations and boulder punching included. I also think that this is a show that would be perfectly fine without explaining much, but I guess it is a shounen manga after all so we got dumped on eventually anyway. At least that came late - close relative Promised Neverland didn't show that much restraint. Shadows House is generally well written though, with great characters, interesting interactions and a great hook. But what really makes it memorable is that it's exceptionally good at the cute/creepy contrast, something that is often tried but rarely works as well as here, with great character designs and very appropriate production. I hope this gets a sequel, because it seems like it's just getting started. 7/10

SSSS.Dynazenon

Coming in with a fondness for Gridman, Dynazenon didn't have to do much to convince me. The surprise though is that it's not a rehash even if it's basically the same show, a character drama where occasionally huge and goofy fights break out. Dynazenon is Gridman done better, and the interesting part is how it accomplishes this - mainly by being far more conventional. I do appreciate that Gridman went for something weird and almost experimental, but that only really paid off towards the end while most of the show was a distraction/holding pattern. It just didn't feel like there was enough material for a full series there, more like a movie maybe, if even that. Dynazenon fixes this by just being a TV show, with an actual cast of characters that each have their own arc. And by spreading the material this way, Dynazenon ends up having a lot more nuance than its intensely focused predecessor, while having the same themes and not actually being any deeper. In a way, Gridman ends up looking like the spinoff in retrospect, while Dynazenon is the full package. 8/10

Thunderbolt Fantasy S3

So how good was this season? So good that Thunderbolt Fantasy doesn't end up at the top, that's how. And all the elements that made Tbolt such a sure thing are still there, big hammy puppets doing stunts and scheming never gets old. However, I do have to note that at this point, the writing appears to have gotten too comfortable. I don't expect it to ever top the amazing S1 ending, but at this point it's like Tbolt has stopped trying to deliver on endings at all and seems in the process of retooling itself into a longrunner instead. Barely anything gets resolved in S3 (the climax is that the climax of S2 is resolved again, for good this time... maybe), and everything else is just setting up plotpoints for the next season. Tbolt is truly lucky that it doesn't actually need to resolve anything to be a great time, but at this point I have to say that I'd appreciate it if they wrapped it up with S4. 8/10

Nomad: Megalobox 2

Speaking of sequels to shows I liked, Nomad doesn't so much improve upon its predecessor but steamrolls right over it. This is a tall order, since Megalobox was surprisingly good for a sports shounen and had a real nice, heartwarming ending that Nomad instantly negates for purposes of drama and everyone being extremely miserable. That sounds like a pretty terrible idea - and it would be, if Nomad wasn't as excellent as it is. To call it not the same show would be an understatement, because it's a true sequel, not just the same characters doing their thing some more, or new characters doing the same thing as the old ones did. Indeed my biggest problem with Megalobox was that it still closely adhered to its genre template and was very predictable; Nomad fixes this issue thoroughly. Nomad is about questioning what being a hotblooded shounen protagonist eventually leads you to, and how to fix everything you screwed up by being one. You could call it a deconstruction, but that term has been so abused for cynical, edgy "thing you like actually sucks" takes that I feel like it doesn't really fit here. Nomad isn't cynical at all, it's just a character drama about some boxers past their prime, and it being a sequel to a show that is indeed rather formulaic just enhances the experience. My biggest issue with it was that I really like what they did with Joe in this story, so the big focus on Mac's backstory felt like a distraction for a long time. But in the end that turned out to be absolutely necessary to make the ending work. The ending's just great, by the way, and I shall say not more about it. 9/10

Odd Taxi

Yeah boy, here's the show that has apparently become somewhat of a "greatest show you didn't watch" meme, which I can feel smug about because I don't need YouTubers to tell me what's good and followed this from day one. Anyway, Odd Taxi is indeed great, the greatest show in a few years even. What starts out as seemingly a relaxed hangout show in the vein of Midnight Diners quickly turns into a psychological murder mystery while never losing its quirky humor. The character writing is outstanding, with even small bit players being on a level that the average anime wishes it could have for leads. And the rollout of the mystery is exemplary, with answers given and new questions raised every episode with a satisfying and logical payoff in the end. This is also the rare anime that has rock solid production from the first to the last second; it's never really flashy but excellently done and highly consistent nonetheless. And the music just owns. I have a few complaints, mainly that there's a few logical weaknesses in the story (which wouldn't even register in a lesser show, but sticks out here since the rest is so immaculately constructed) and that the ending overextends on the emotions when the rest of the show is so reserved and dry in comparison. But those are only the reasons why I didn't give it perfect marks, and I almost did that anyway. 9/10

[nealiios]

The Supernatural 70s: Part I - Corruption of An Innocent

"We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we're soldiers writers."

-- with apologies to the screenwriter of "Stripes"

Dear reader, I have the darkest of revelations to make to you, a truth when fully and wholly disclosed shall most assuredly chill you to the bone, a tale that shall make you question all that you hold to be true and good and holy about my personal history. While you may have come in search of that narrative designer best known for his works of interactive high fantasy, you should know that he is also a crafter of a darker art, a scribbler of twisted tales filled with ghosts, and ghouls, and gargoyles. I am, dear innocent, a devotee of horrors! Mwahahahaha!

[cue thunderclap, lightning, pipe organ music]

Given the genre of writing for which most of you know me, I forgive you if you think of me principally as a fantasy writer. I don't object to that classification because I do enjoy mucking about with magic and dark woods and mysterious ancient civilizations. But if you are to truly know who I am as a writer, you must realize that the image I hold of myself is principally as a creator of weird tales.

To understand how and why I came to be drawn to this sub-genre of fantastic fiction, you first must understand that I come from peculiar folks. Maybe I don't have the Ipswich look, or I didn't grow up in a castle, but my pedigree for oddity has been there from the start. My mother was declared dead at birth by her doctor, and often heard voices calling to her in the dead of night that no one else could hear. Her mother would periodically ring us up to discuss events in our lives about which she couldn't possibly have known. My father's people still share ghost stories about a family homestead that burned down mysteriously in the 1960s. Even my older brother has outré memories about events he says cannot possibly be true, and as a kid was kicked off the Tulsa city bookmobile for attempting to check out books about UFOs, bigfoot, and ESP. It's fair to say I was doomed - or destined - for weirdness from the start.

If the above listed circumstances had not been enough, I grew up in an area where neighbors whispered stories about a horrifically deformed Bulldog Man who stalked kids who "parked" on the Old North Road near my house. The state in which I was raised was rife with legends of bigfoots, deer women, and devil men. Even in my childhood household there existed a pantheon of mythological entities invented explicitly to keep me in line. If I was a good boy, The Repairman would leave me little gifts of Hot Wheels cars or candy. If I was being terrible, however, my father would dress in a skeleton costume, rise from the basement and threaten to drag me down into everlasting hellfire (evidently there was a secret portal in our basement.) There were monsters, monsters EVERYWHERE I looked in my childhood world. Given that I was told as a fledgling writer to write what I knew, how could anyone have been surprised that the first stories I wrote were filled with the supernatural?

"The Nightmare" by John Henry Fuseli (1781)

My formative years during the late sixties and early seventies took place at a strange juncture in our American cultural history. At the same time that we were loudly proclaiming the supremacy of scientific thought because we'd landed men on the moon, we were also in the midst of a counter cultural explosion of interest in astrology, witchcraft, ghosts, extra sensory perception, and flying saucers. Occult-related books were flying off the shelves as sales surged by more than 100% between 1966 and 1969. Cultural historians would come to refer to this is as the "occult boom," and its aftershocks would impact popular cultural for decades to come.

My first contact with tales of the supernatural were innocuous, largely sanitized for consumption by children. I vividly remember watching Casper the Friendly Ghost and the Disney version of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I read to shreds numerous copies of both Where the Wild Things Are and Gus the Ghost. Likely the most important exposure for me was to the original Scooby Doo, Where Are You? cartoon which attempted to inoculate us from our fears of ghosts and aliens by convincing us that ultimately the monster was always just a bad man in a mask. (It's fascinating to me that modern incarnations of Scooby Doo seem to have completely lost this point and instead make all the monsters real.)

ABOVE: Although the original cartoon Scooby Doo, Where Are You? ran only for one season from 1969 to 1970, it remained in heavy reruns and syndication for decades. It is notable for having been a program that perfectly embodied the conflict between reason and superstition in popular culture, and was originally intended to provide children with critical thinking skills so they would reject the idea of monsters, ghosts, and the like. Ironically, modern takes on Scooby Doo have almost entirely subverted this idea and usually present the culprits of their mysteries as real monsters.

During that same time, television also introduced me to my first onscreen crush in the form of the beautiful and charming Samantha Stevens, a witch who struggles to not to use her powers while married to a frequently intolerant mortal advertising executive in Bewitched. The Munsters and The Addams Family gave me my first taste for "goth" living even before it would become all the rage in the dance clubs of the 1980s. Late night movies on TV would bring all the important horror classics of the past in my living room as Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, the Invisible Man, the Phantom of the Opera, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Godzilla all became childhood friends. Over time the darkened castles, creaking doors, foggy graveyards, howling wolves, and ever present witches and vampires became so engrained in my psyche that today they remain the "comfort viewing" to which I retreat when I'm sick or in need of other distractions from modern life.

ABOVE: Elizabeth Montgomery starred in Bewitched (1964 - 1972) as Samantha Stephens, a witch who married "mortal" advertising executive Darren Stephens (played for the first five seasons by actor Dick York). Inspired by movies like I Married a Witch (1942) and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), it was a long running series that explored the complex relationship dynamics between those who possess magic and those who don't. Social commentators have referred to it as an allegory both for mixed marriages and also about the challenges faced by minorities, homosexuals, cultural deviants, or generally creative folks in a non heterogeneous community. It was also one of the first American television programs to portray witches not as worshippers of Satan, but simply as a group of people ostracized for their culture and their supernatural skills.

Even before I began elementary school, there was one piece of must-see gothic horror programming that I went out of my way to catch every day. Dark Shadows aired at 3:30 p.m. on our local ABC affiliate in Tulsa, Oklahoma which usually allowed me to catch most of it if I ran home from school (or even more if my mom or brother picked me up.) In theory it was a soap opera, but the show featured a regular parade of supernatural characters and themes. The lead was a 175 year old vampire named Barnabas Collins (played by Johnathan Frid), and the show revolved around his timeless pursuit of his lost love, Josette. It was also a program that regularly dealt with reincarnation, precognition, werewolves, time travel, witchcraft, and other occult themes. Though it regularly provoked criticism from religious groups about its content, it ran from June of 1966 until it's final cancellation in April of 1971. (I would discover it in the early 1970s as it ran in syndication.) Dark Shadows would spin off two feature-length movies based on the original, a series of tie-in novels, an excellent reboot series in 1991 (starring Ben Cross as Barnabas), and a positively embarrassingly awful movie directed by Tim Burton in 1991.

ABOVE: Johnathan Frid starred as Barnabas Collins, one of the leading characters of the original Dark Shadows television series. The influence of the series cannot be understated. In many ways Dark Shadows paved the way for the inclusion of supernatural elements in other soap operas of the 1970s and the 1980s, and was largely responsible for the explosion of romance novels featuring supernatural themes over the same time period.

While Dark Shadows was a favorite early television program for me, another show would prove not only to be a borderline obsession, but also a major influence on my career as a storyteller. Night Gallery (1969-1973) was a weekly anthology television show from Rod Serling, better known as the creator and host of the original Twilight Zone. Like Twilight Zone before it, Night Gallery was a deep and complex commentary on the human condition, but unlike its predecessor the outcomes for the characters almost always skewed towards the horrific and the truly outré. In "The Painted Mirror," an antiques dealer uses a magic painting to trap an enemy in the prehistoric past. Jack Cassidy plots to use astral projection to kill his romantic rival in "The Last Laurel" but accidentally ends up killing himself. In "Eyes" a young Stephen Spielberg directs Joan Crawford in a story about an entitled rich woman who plots to take the sight of a poor man. Week after week it delivered some of the best-written horror television of the early 1970s.

In retrospect I find it surprising that I was allowed to watch Night Gallery at all. I was very young while it was airing, and some of the content was dark and often quite shocking for its time. Nevertheless, I was so attached to the show that I'd throw a literal temper tantrum if I missed a single, solitary episode. If our family needed to go somewhere on an evening that Night Gallery was scheduled, either my parents would either have to wait until after it had aired before we left, or they'd make arrangements in advance with whomever we were visiting to make sure it was okay that I could watch Night Gallery there. I was, in a word, a fanatic.

ABOVE: Every segment of Night Gallery was introduced by series creator Rod Serling standing before a painting created explicitly for the series. Director Guillermo del Toro credits Serling's series as being the most important and influential show on his own work, even more so than the more famous Twilight Zone.

[gregoftom]

i'm like 800 years late to the party but i'm on s6 of x files but i forgot to watch the movie and went to watch it last night and ohhh my god i have so many feelings about fox mulder/msr and i . do you ever just

because of it because i do.

bro i'm still thinking about fight the future. "you made me a whole person. i owe you everything, and you owe me nothing" MULDER GIRL SHUT UP FJSFSJGMEG 😭😭😭😭😭

the fact that hes always so so so sosjfj so fucking sweet and genuine, sweetest fucking man ever written in television, so gentle, so respectful and kind, invented feminism, it's literally no wonder that lady who didn't even feel human in the episode alpha was enamoured with him. i don't blame her in the slightest for making him come out to take the case so she could meet him. he made her feel like a person bc that's the kind of guy he is. he makes women comfortable in themselves because he respects them and is gentle with them, yet doesn't treat them as weak or fragile. she felt human when she spoke with him so of course she was absolute infatuated. it is also why scully fell in love with him and continues to be. scully wishes to have children, brought into light because of her near death experience (and side note i LOVE how this is written bc sometimes it can be so cringily written with female characters but with her it's so sad and genuine and you really do feel for her, god scully is written so fucking well i love her to death too GOD!!!! A) but she probably feels in some ways less of a woman because of this but fuck. mulder makes her feel. relaxed. comfortable. like she belongs. like she can just. be. we've been shown time and again that she feels like she belongs with mulder. her "heart wouldn't be in it" if she wasn't with him as an example from the movie. and i feel like. she would... not forget but. feel more at peace with the fact that she can't conceive (that she knows of at this time). feel like she's still a complete person because of how mulder respects her and that hasn't changed despite the fact that he knows what he does. she's never had a long term relationship and probably feels like she never will because what man would want a woman who couldn't give him children? ofc we know she's in love w mulder and ofc we know that mulder would still love her and be with her no matter what (though they still aren't together yet hhhhhhhhhh hh hhhhh) i just. i love fox mulder so much, soooo sososoo much, he's so fucking. ROMANTIC. he INVENTED romance. can you believe it. god.

i'm not surprised she cried when he said what he did in the hallway because holy shit, i don't think anyone has ever said anything so heartfelt, so romantic and so genuine to her before, much less a man she cares about so much.

this is kinda rambly but ohhHHHH mY G GohhHF i cannot stop thinking about this absolutely beautiful man i , i really really love him he's so so so gentle. so lovely. drinks his respect women juice every fucking day.

[rablackauthor]

The things we forget...

When I was a kid, my favorite TV show was Space: 1999. Not only did I watch the episodes obsessively, I tape-recorded the audio from them so I could listen later (this was before VCRs, let alone DVRs), and I also bought all the tie-in books that came out.

And yes, my first real attempt at writing was inventing my own Space: 1999 stories, what today would be called fanfic, although back then I'd never heard of that term. I did pretty well for a time, getting more pages done than my friends who were making similar efforts, at least, but eventually I ground to a halt. I remember exactly why, too. I got to a point where Dr. Helena Russell had to express concern about a character who had gone missing, and I just couldn't do it. It felt weird to be writing a woman's thoughts and feelings. In fact, I struggled with female characters until it was almost the real 1999, which seems surprising given that these days my fiction's main characters are almost entirely tween or teen girls.

Fast-forward to today, as I'm re-reading one of the Space: 1999 tie-in novels from the 70s, which was re-released by the publisher that's been carrying on the series over the past few years. I remembered some bits from the story, but there were some things I did not remember. Specifically, the way the book handles its female characters:

· "Sandra Benes, virtually sitting on Carter, had fixed his headset and was tuning his muddled head. Her personal pollen cloud, pleasantly laced with sandalwood, was a disturbing element in itself."

· "Helena left the wall she had been testing and walked to meet them. Her particular style of blonde beauty was a new thing to the Copreons and all eyes tracked her in."

· "A group of Alphans at an intersection round a communication post had folded where they stood. There was a leggy girl from Hydroponics balanced like an advanced yogi on her forehead and the balls of her feet."

What the heck? The book never lets you forget the sexuality of its female characters. Even in the middle of action scenes or scenes where they're performing important professional duties, there's a sentence or a phrase inserted to remind you, "And by the way, she's sexy."

Even today, one of the reasons I write for kids is because I don't like the way fiction for adults always has to have pointless sex scenes injected into it. No wonder, then, that I hit a brick wall back when I was 12 or 13 and learning how to write by imitating what I read. And now that I think about it, an awful lot of the science fiction from that time handled its female characters in much the same way. Except for the Doctor Who novelizations – which were written for kids.

I don't read American fiction for grownups these days. Has anything changed much?