#she was so fucking funny and she asked about my sketchbook and i was too chicken to show her

[reztruck]

the only acquaintance i made in college that i enjoyed was a palestinian, and anytime we met up. She was like let's go eat...and i thought that was so cool bc white people in general have like 3 stages of getting to know them before it gets to that (maybe i am not that likeable lol)

[rosenclaws]

Hi! 👋

I saw your requests were open and I was wondering if I could submit a request?

The reader is a shy artist who is a friend of Wades. She carries a sketchbook with her everywhere to sketch new pieces, but she doesn't show her work to people unless it's to Wade.

She and Worst!Logan become friends and slowly develop feelings for one another, but they won't say anything to each other because they think that the other wouldn't want them. Until Worst!Logan finds her sketchbook by accident and finds the book is filled with sketches of him. Worst!Logan confronts her about it, but she's a stuttering mess, and they end up confessing to each other. And please make it extra fluffy. Maybe throw in a kiss or a makeout session. Your choice lol.

Thank you and have a good day! 😊

Hidden Feelings and Hidden Sketches || Worst!Logan Howlett x Reader

warnings: drinking, swearing, wade making suggestive comments, make out sesh towards the end, reader gets drunk and logan helps her out. Logan also calls the reader sketch. It got kinda suggestive at the end I apologize sldfjka

a/n: Hi!! This idea is adorable omg I love it, I hope it was fluffy enough for you I have to admit I'm not great at writing pure fluff. I also hope wade is funny because I am not funny so its hard to write his dialogue sometimes. I also altered the plot a little so i hope its okay

You never quite understood how you and Wade became friends. He was possibly the biggest extrovert you have ever met and you were the exact opposite. He saw you once at his favorite diner with your sketchbook and he jumped into the seat across from you.

Yapping on about your art and if you drew often and that he once tried to paint but the class didn't appreciate his art and asking if you'd paint him naked as a present for his girlfriend. Which you declined very quickly.

He wouldn't leave you alone, talking and asking you all sorts of things. You getting a few words in and him covering the other 98% of the conversation. He left with the promise of seeing you again and disappeared before you could say anything else.

It was an odd experience that's for sure but you liked Wade. Sure enough he kept coming back and a friendship had blossomed. He invited you over to dinner multiple times but you always declined, choosing to meet at the diner instead.

Slowly he got you out of your shell around him. Cracking jokes and sometimes putting him in his place when he went a little too far. You showed him your sketchbook after a while and he gushed over your drawings. Begging you to draw him at his best angles and you would sometimes give in.

When he disappeared for a while you got worried, that is until he showed up with a new dog and a very handsome new friend. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. Wade spotted you and waved but you didn't even notice.

"I know right, he's like a tall glass of rage filled water." Wade sighs as he sits across from you.

"I uh what?" You hug your sketchbook close to your chest as you rip your eyes away from Wade's new friend.

"Oh don't pretend like you weren't eye fucking him the second he walked in here, not that I blame you." Your eyes widen as you start to stutter. Your face heating up as you stare at the pancakes in front of you instead. A loud grunt catches your attention. You can barely meet his eyes as your brain is too busy being embarrassed by what Wade had said.

"You can sit on my lap angel cakes." Wade pats his leg but gets shoved to the side as his new friend sits down across from you.

"Logan this is my friend, be a good kitty and play nice." Logan rolls his eyes and chooses to ignore Wade. He does look at you though, burning a whole through your skull.

"Hi Logan," You say shyly.

"Hi." A few beats of silence pass until Wade breaks it as usual.

"Well aren't you two the life of the party, if you excuse me I have to go relieve myself." Wade stands up and instead of asking Logan to move, starts to climb over the man.

"What the fuck?!" Logan hisses as he grabs Wades shirt and tosses him to the ground. You can't help the laugh that escapes your mouth as your friend flops to the ground.

"So rude." Wade shakes his head and heads off to the bathroom. Silence falls once again as you awkwardly push around the pancakes on your plate.

"What's that?" Logan asks, nodding towards your sketchbook. You grab your book and shove it into your bag.

"Nothing! It's uh, just a sketchbook it's nothing don't worry about it." Logan raises an eyebrow as you panic in front of him.

As if you couldn't feel more embarrassed. You debate on waiting for wade or just leaving to save yourself but Logan makes the choice for you.

"You don't have to stay, not holding you hostage." He sips his coffee as you let out a shaky laugh.

"Not much of a talker." You play with your fork as you look up at Logan. He's much more handsome up close.

"Neither am I." He offers a small half smile and you return it. He's still incredibly intimidating but maybe you can stick it out a little longer. Logan's food comes and the two of you eat in a comfortable silence and when you're done you work up the courage if he'll be here tomorrow. He holds the door open for you as you step outside.

You clutch tightly onto the strap of your bag as you wait for his answer. He lights a cigar and you try and suppress your smile when he says he will be. As you part ways you realize that Wade never did come back from the bathroom.

That sneaky bastard.

-on

The diner uh, meetings as you called them, with Logan were amazing. His grumpy exterior was hard to crack but eventually the two of you started to become friends. Being with Logan started to become your favorite parts of the week. He was more than the tough guy persona he put on. What surprised you the most is that he seemed interested in you too. Well you know as friends.

Logan could appreciate someone who liked the quiet. He never pushed you out of your comfort zone, never made you feel uncomfortable. He was just Logan. Call it what you want but it was only a matter of time before you fell head over heels for that man. Not that you'd ever tell him.

How could you?

He's a superhero. He's gorgeous and grumpy and funny and so much more. All you do is draw silly pictures. So for now you settle on friends. Even if he makes your stomach turn with ever smile. Even if his laugh is the best thing you've ever heard. Friends. That's good enough for now.

-

"Wade Wilson I am going to kill you!" You say angrily.

He had texted you asking you to meet him for coffee and you had agreed solely because you never got the chance to scold him for his little dine and dash.

"Leaving me alone with a stranger!" You slap his hand as he tries to reach for your pastry.

"Ow! That was so five months ago! Anyways I was just trying to help. You know, relieve the sexual tension." You gasp as he makes a very lewd gesture with his hands.

"Besides, you and Logi bear are spending a lot of time together for just being friends huh Boo-Boo." Before you can stop him he reaches for your sketchbook. Keeping it just out of reach as he flips through the pages.

"Give it back!" You plead as you reach across the table.

"Oh. My. God. How come you never draw me this sexy?" He shows you the pages and you fall back into your seat in defeat.

You know what's in there and now Wade does too. Pages and pages of sketches of Logan. You feel like a stalker. It's not your fault! Ever since you met him he's all you can think about. All you can draw.

"Please give it back." You beg but he refuses.

"You'll get it back after you admit to Logan how you feel."

"What!" Your jaw drops as you make another lunge for your book.

"I am a very impatient man and I'm not about to wait another thousand words for the two of you to fuck." He stands up and tucks the book down his pants.

"Ew really?" You groan as you let your face fall into your hands.

"I'm having a get together and you're invited. Logan will be there it's the perfect opportunity." You feel like throwing up at the idea of talking to Logan about any of this.

Maybe you could just steal it back tonight. Or maybe you could never show your face to anyone ever again. Yah the second option sounds better. If only it was that simple. You waited for many anxiety filled hours, the only thing on your mind is getting your damn book back. You knock on the door and it swings open with Wade standing there, a stupid smile on his face.

"Honey badger at 4 o'clock." He hands you a drink and pushes you right towards him. You shoo him away, taking a deep breath and head towards Logan.

"Hi Logan," You say nervously.

"Didn't think these were really your thing." He says with a smile. You laugh nervously and nod your head.

"Yeah well...I thought he'd finally stop asking if I came to one of these things." You joke. Logan snorts and offers you the seat next to him.

"Good luck with that." You sit next to him and swirl around the ice in your drink.

If you're going to tell him then you're going to need a lot of help. Logan's eyes widen as you down your drink in one go, making a face before asking for another one. He's never seen you at a party, let alone drink.

"Why don't you take it easy there sketch."

"It's a party right, why not have a little fun." Logan keeps an eye on you as you drink and drink. As the night passes on he realizes that you might have had a little too much. You can barely get a sentence out by the time the party's over.

"Hi Logii!" Your arms slink around his neck as you stumble into him.

"Come on, let me take you home." He chuckles as he helps you to the door.

"Nooo, I needa get my uh..." You stop and think for a moment.

"My uhhh" Logan hums as he helps you to your apartment. You stay close to Logan as you walk through the night. He's just so warm and he smells so good.

"Got your keys?" You pat around for them and frown. Logan reaches into your bag and pulls them out.

"Right here." He unlocks your door and helps you to your bed. You sigh as your head hits your pillow.

"Oh! my sketchbook. Wade has my sketchbook." You say with a yawn.

"I'll get it back tomorrow, now sleep well." Logan takes off his jacket and lays it on you. He brushes your cheek gently. A soft smile on his face as he leaves you to sleep peacefully.

"Good night."

-

God your head hurt and the sun was way too bright. You crack your eyes open groan as you head pounds. What were you even thinking last night? You wanted your damn book back that's what you were thinking. A loud knock on your door makes you moan in pain. Getting up you swing open your door only to be met with Logan holding your book. Your face pales as you see a smirk on his face.

"Wade gave me back your book." You reach out for it but he holds it back.

"You're a real good artist sketch." To your horror he opens up your book and flips to one of its pages.

Right in front of you was a side profile sketch of Logan. It had been while you were at the park or something. The sun was hitting him perfectly, he had this content look on his face. You couldn't help but draw it when you got back home. To capture him in a moment where everything felt okay.

"I uh..I.." You don't know what to say. He caught you red handed. Your face is on fire from shame and embarrassment as he finally hands over your book. You can't even look at him.

"I'm sorry." You whisper. Shutting your eyes you hope he gets the hint and leaves, leaves you to wallow in pity.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry." He grabs your chin and tilts your head up.

"I'm flattered sketch. I think you really captured me pretty good." You still can't bring yourself to say anything as you hug your book tightly. You can't tell if he's making fun of you or what.

"This isn't funny Logan." You try and push his hand off you but his grip is strong.

"Not trying to be funny." He brushes his thumb over your lips.

"Logan..." Your eyes flick down to his lips and you know he catches you.

"Say it, come on don't be shy. Not with me." Sighing you dig your fingernails into your book.

"I love you." Your voice is barely above a whisper, eyes squeezing shut. You almost hope he doesn't hear it but of course he does.

He presses his lips to yours roughly. You drop your book in shock as you melt deep into his kiss. Wasting no time in kissing him back, hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. He deepens the kiss as his hands fall to your sides. You pull away much to his disappointment, his lips chasing after yours for a moment.

"I love you too." He kisses your jaw lightly making you sigh.

"You know, those drawings were good but I think you got my lips wrong." You furrow you eyebrows, you thought you got his lips pretty good. After all you stared at them long enough to memorize them.

"Yeah sweetheart, think you need a lesson." He walks you back until you hit your couch.

"Get up close and personal." He winks as you bite your lip. How flustered can he make you?

"Then maybe you can show me more of those drawings."

Well, If it would help make your drawings more, accurate. Then who are you to say no?

"Okay." You run your hands along his arm as you look back up at him. Nerves and excitement swirling around your eyes.

"Don't worry sketch, I'm a pretty good teacher."

[starlightswordfight]

"jeremy if this is another hc post I'm going to kill you" bad news

castaway nonsense PART TWO

– schnauz is deathly afraid of water. it unsettles him deeply, largely because of past experience. do you SEE his treasure catalogue entry for the blue paint?? who "swims out" for the "last time" in a swimming pool???? someone fucking DIED

– on a slightly similar note, he laughs when he's nervous!

– he is Perpetually Nervous

– I think molly would REALLY like the evil skeleton wizard memes that have taken over my brain for the past several years. "not me being evil shadow skull" and no one knows what the fuck she's talking about

– molly writes fanfiction

– will let people borrow her camera if you ask nicely

– speaking of molly. her and patch and dash should be best friends forever. same home planet and they all do stupid shit. jin is also involved and they're the voice of reason

– dash has a lot of fidget toys. on him at all times

– wears those jackets where it's just an anime character wrapped around them all the way all bizarre like. he doesn't think it's a good design by any means it's just really funny

– frisé's favorite instrument is the didgeridoo

– also she's intersex. I can do whatever I want

– hitting frisé with the singing/humming/tapping on stuff as stims beam

– construction work is super fucking loud so I think corgwin just would not be bothered by sudden/incredible noise anymore. it just reads as background stuff to him! that or he like genuinely isn't picking up on some of it at all, it doesn't register. frequent tinnitus haver. he might be going deaf

– corgwin is tumblr famous. the pikmin universe tumblr equivalent anyway. inspired by the headcanon generator that told us in the pikmin server I'm in that charlie lit a school on fire and got away with it and that the rescue corps killed princess diana

– think about it. he'd share fun building facts. niche internet micro celebrity and everybody loves him

– lapi is also tumblr famous

– he likes frolicking around outside For Enrichment but he also does it in the rain and sometimes comes home sick

– guilty of making sketchbooks into renderbooks and taking several years to complete them. "but it has to be perfect" That Is The Devil Talking

– horatio is not immune to the fog

– he has a VERY specific skillset. like. like stupid specific. the guy is the most proficient xylophonist you've ever met but he can't cook. knows how aeronautics works but his phone call game is BAD. give him an old movie from decades back and he can tell you what it is and who acted in it and exactly where he was when he first saw it, easily. if you ask him for directions anywhere he'll crumble and die

– he wrote his ID badge like that. it was fully and completely on purpose. horatio thinks it's funny as hell

– françois really likes bugs! sees them all the time in his work even if his studies are flora centric. while on pnf-404 he probably talks about it a LOT with dalmo. botany/environmental science major who minored in entomology

– I just do not think he'd be afraid of them and that is beautiful. he allows nothing to dissuade him. he has pet spiders it is wonderful

– OKAY YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS YOU CAN GET AT THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER AND IN OTHER PLACES WHERE IT'S LIKE ROCK SAMPLES FROM FOREIGN SPACE BODIES?? AM I INSANE??? in the little capsules and shit ????? yeah kit has those

– astrophysics lover. adores space science. worked at a planetarium before meeting osa. I don't remember if this contradicts the established lore and I am too tired to go back and check so if im wrong you can pelt me with stones and tomato

– osa lets him ramble on about it but in all honesty he does not know what the fuck kit is talking about half the time ever. ever

– vice versa! osa also has a huge nerd thing and it's world history. which makes sense for an archaeologist. I don't mean modern history either I mean ANCIENT

– fawks would unironically endorse the idea of a cybertruck but it never comes to fruition because everyone says it's stupid and he feels insulted and he gives up and sulks about it

– but he'd specialize. I know he would. he gets specific with it. good for him! my money is on prehistoric archaeology, stuff back before written text, and language, and any history that could be recorded with the power of words. which is why travelling to pnf-404 was so fucking important to him, he's been trying to construct something that would fill in the gaps of that lost starfolk history and this WAS the exact sort of thing that he was looking for

– technically they're doing geoarchaeology together. yes that's a subfield

– he is a tech bro and everybody thinks this is stupid and dumb also

– chewy

[odetodilfs]

can u do game joel miller x male reader where the male reader has alot of drawings of him with hearts around him in his notebook?

Drawings

Thanks anon for this amazing request, I enjoyed writing this!! Pairing: Joel Miller x m!reader Kinks: none really, but there's a hickey

Ever since the apocalypse broke out you’d been sticking with Joel, and as you hung out more and more with him your worst possible fear happened: catching feelings for him. Was it even that hard not to? He was the most beautiful, incredible and brave man you had ever seen, he made you feel safe.

You doubted Joel would reciprocate your feelings towards him, but luckily, you had always been an artsy person, you always let your feelings out in your art, and your feelings for Joel had been no exception, one night in particular, you sketched Joel as he slept beside you, and drew some hearts around him, he was your world and you needed him so badly it ached. By now, you had about 5 drawings of him.

One afternoon, you went to the bathroom out in the woods, but left your sketchbook behind, so while Joel had been organizing something on the table that you left your book on, it fell and he picked it up and flipped through it to see what it was..

He was met with sketch after sketch of himself, almost every one of his details carefully drawn, and with hearts around them, this wasn’t Ellie’s, she was not that good of an artist, it could only be yours, could it mean… you felt something for him? Joel’s heart was at full speed, he’d been having thoughts about you, thoughts you wouldn’t consider as “friendship” thoughts, he wanted more than that.

“Is that… my sketchbook-” you asked, shocked and scared, maybe he had seen your drawing “Uhm- yes it is” you had caught him, “Look- about the picture-” you started, but he cut you off, “No, I like it, it’s… better than the Mona Lisa” he joked, “Funny, but I mean the other part” you insisted, “Well, I’m gonna be straightforward, do you want to be just friends with me?” he asked, you were conflicted: you couldn’t lie to him, but you didn’t want him to know either, a soft “Yes” came out of your lips, he started getting closer to you, both of you blushing like 2 teenagers, was this about to happen, suddenly, Joel stopped his slow pace and brought his lips to yours, it felt better than anything you’d ever felt before, his lips were so soft in contrast to his slightly spiky beard, both of you slightly moaning into the kiss.

“I’ve wanted you for some time now” Joel said, “Me too” “Should we…” he said pointing at the bed, “What about Ellie? “She’s asleep, no worries” he said, as you both went on the bed, clothes off as Joel’s warm scent started immediately filling and soothing your nostrils, “Can’t believe this is happening” Joel said dreamily as you grinded on his dick, he had to push you off so he could lube it up. “God, Joel, fuck me” you begged, “On one condition” he smirked, “What is it?” you asked, “You have to keep drawing me” “It’ll be a pleasure” you said as he flipped you on your back and started to go inside you, his dick even lightly grazing your g-spot caused you to moan in pleasure, “Shhh, don’t wanna wake up Ellie” he said, “Okay” you gasped as Joel’s dick was now fully inside you, “Feel good? Too much?” he asked, making sure you were okay, “Yeah” you gasped out, he was so big, and when he started thrusting you could only whimper as the pleasure was driving you crazy, and you could tell Joel enjoyed your sounds, suddenly, you felt his lips on your collarbone, “Why so low?” you asked, 

 “Just so Ellie doesn’t give us shit tomorrow, she says that she knows exactly what’s going on” 

 “So you don’t wanna prove her right” “Yup” he said, “I think I can keep the secret” you said as you both chuckled and Joel resumed thrusting inside you, “Fuck- so- tight…” he moaned as your hole sucked his dick inside.

He kept hitting your spot with each thrust and your sight was going blurry as he drove you closer to your orgasm. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he got on top of you, you could feel his body against yours, the hairs on his chest, it was so, so good. He started kissing and nibbling on your neck as his thrusts absolutely pulverized your ass, “Oh fuck- Joel- I’m gonna cum!” you said, “Go ahead baby, cum for me, cum for me” he whispered huskily in your ear, “Oh god!” you almost screamed as you came between your hot, sweaty bodies, your dick twitching between your bellies, your ass clenching down on Joel’s meat. 

Joel didn’t take much longer to cum, he moaned loudly as he finally came inside you, claiming you as his. “Holy shit, that was incredible,” Joel breathed out, smiling, “Can we cuddle?” he said, with puppy eyes, he didn’t have to ask twice, “Yeah, we can” he immediately snuggled into you, as you held him in your arms, “Goodnight darlin’, love you” he said as he finally fell asleep on your chest, “Love you too” you said as you slept as well.

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Could I ask for some Frilda fics recommendations? I'm brain rot over them since last friday night and I need more Frilda content! I would appreciate anything Frilda-related, really.

Also, do you know if there is any kind of Frilda fest or fic exchange or anything like that?

Thanks a lot in advance!!! :D

I don't know of any fests or exchanges sadly (though I would love to participate in some...) but here are some recs!

Put them under a cut to conserve space :P

Building a Better Cabinet of Curiosities by BlackEyedGirl-- Future Fic, Pre-Slash, finished

Summary:

Frida looks up from her cataloguing slowly, eyes taking in bright red boots all the way up to wild blue hair. Having Hilda descend upon you unexpectedly is just as startling at twenty-one as it was at eleven, and just as wonderful.

This one is very sweet, with 21-yo Hilda, Frida, and David. Hilda and Frida try and educate the residents of Trolberg on the actual history of spirits and trolls, not just what prejudice wrought.

-

The Trolberg Chat by SunsetCorvid-- Chatfic, unfinished

Summary:

Kaisa: well anyways Kaisa: which one of you checked out Homestuck from the library Hilda: WHAT Hilda: THERE'S HOMESTUCK IN THE LIBRARY??!?!!? Kaisa: yes Kaisa: sadly TW for: Homestuck references /j and some swearing.

Older characters, not exactly focused on Frilda but it's definitely there. The kids are around 14/15 and this fic is so fucking funny.

-

Puppy love is hard to ignore by mandaree1-- Short oneshot, finished

Summary:

Frida has questions about Familiars. Kaisa knows a confused gay child when she sees one.

Sweet little fic on how Frida is afraid of losing Hilda. Kaisa is a good older sister.

-

Mitten Memories by posm_24 (posm24)-- Oneshot, finished

Summary:

Posted on tumblr as @/swaggyotterz24  Johanna and Hilda have a chat about crushes.

Hilda asks Johanna about something that's been bothering her. Little Sketchbook at the end, as well. Cute little read :)

-

I have a bunch of Frilda stuff that I've written, too (I'm CascadingSilver on AO3) if you're interested in any of that (I do a lot of Troll Hilda stuff), and my sideblog @frilda-archive has a fic tag that I try to keep on top of! If you're interested in anything else, just let me know :)

[panoffrying]

Hello friends of Tumblr!

I just wanted to get some stuff said and done before anybody tries asking lol so here’s an about me post

What are my pronouns

I go by She/Her but I do not mind being called other pronouns it doesn’t matter to me. I do accept titles like king, queen, bro, dude and more

Reposting My Art

Please do not repost my art. You can reblog it but do not repost it. Please and thank you!

Hating

Please don’t do any hate comments if you don’t like my stuff then simply leave my blog or block me. My mental health cannot handle you hating so just leave me be. I will simply just block you if you keep bothering me. I’m just someone trying to have fun and show my art

What art programs do I use?

I use Clip studio! But on rare occasions I use drawpile with friends. You will also see some more traditional sketchbook art.

Ask box!

Im open to y’all asking me things! I don’t have any rules on it right now, don’t make me enforce rules guys 💀 but you can request things or just chat to me. I am comfortable with 15+ things if it goes to far I won’t respond or I will respond privately. But feel free to ask about literally anything!

Some More Rules

So this will be at least a 15+ blog, I will post suggestive content here but I know for a fact that most of my followers are young. So all my full mating tent art will be on my twitter/X which the link will be down below.

I said this in another post but I’m saying it here too If you ship the bishops with eachother then unfollow or block me. I do not want that shit near me. I don’t care what anyone says don’t bring Greek mythology into this. This is not fucking Greek mythology. This is 2024 not the ancient times and I hate seeing yall normalize incest, and that includes making it a joke, I do not find incest funny I find it disgusting.

That being said if you support any incest/pedophilia block me/unfollow me.

Other places to find me

My Instagram

My YouTube

My TicTac

🔞My Twitter NSFW ACCOUNT 🔞

[aurumacadicus]

Fictober 24/31 -- “Is this safe?

Back on my OC bullshit now that I’ve figured out my internet problem lol. Steve is open to learning new hobbies. Lottie is delighted to share her hobby. It’s over 1K so look out for under the cut!

--

Steve had never seen so many needles in his life. He thought maybe they didn’t even have so many at the hospital. “Is this safe?” he found himself asking before he could stop himself.

Lottie laughed. “Well, it’s safer than the sewing machine!” She patted the table. “Come sit. I found a really simple pattern for you, which uses a lot of different techniques, so you can practice them with low pressure.”

Steve looked at the embroidery hoop, the cloth stretched across it, the loops of thread and the teeny, tiny needle. He did not feel as if it was low pressure at all. The needle would disappear between his fingers. He would tear right through the fabric. He still worried about doorknobs sometimes. There were flowers printed on the fabric, he recognized dimly. Seemed too delicate for his big fingers.

“I’ve seen these works,” Lottie continued obliviously, pulling out her own embroidery hoop. It was covered in tiny stitches. It looked like a field of flowers. “People use mesh fabric or netting instead of regular fabric, makes it see-through. You’ve got a really delicate hand, so I think you’d be able to do it!”

Steve looked up at her in disbelief. “You think I have a delicate hand?” Just yesterday she’d been in the kitchen when he’d squeezed a tomato to see if it was ripe and had exploded the fruit in his fist.

Lottie lifted her gaze from her hoop to blink at him, seemingly stunned by his question. Finally, though, she said, “Yes, Steve.”

“You watched me crush a tomato yesterday,” Steve said, feeling like an idiot.

“Steve, I’ve watched you crush a fucking melon,” Lottie said flatly.

Steve flushed. “Clint and Tony told me to.”

“Yes, the margaritas were delicious. I appreciate the melon-crushing. But!” She extended her arm, holding her hand out to him.

Steve stared at it for a moment, then hesitantly reached out to take it. When she gripped his hand, he carefully gripped back. “But?” he asked when she said nothing, just held his hand.

Lottie tilted her head, staring at him. “You’re not crushing me.”

Steve flinched, carefully making sure his grip didn’t tighten with the motion. “It’s not the same,” he began.

“You’re careful with the things you care about,” Lottie said, ignoring him. “You have never hurt me or anyone on the team. You haven’t ripped your sketchbooks or broken your pencils. So you accidentally splattered everyone with a tomato the other day. Who hasn’t?”

“Lottie, I regret to inform you that covering the kitchen in a thin layer of tomato pulp is not normal,” Steve cut in.

Lottie blinked at him slowly. “Steve. You’re not normal.” She raised her free hand, motioning around the room. “The Avengers aren’t normal. Technically, I’m not normal either, but I’m probably more normal than all of you.” She leaned her elbow on the table and set her chin in her hand, staring up at him. “What makes you think accidents don’t happen to normal people? You apologized. We all laughed.” She smiled, wide and unselfconscious, in a way that made her nose and the corners of her eyes crinkle. “It was funny, Steve. You looked so startled! No one was upset about tomato stains, and we had plenty of other tomatoes. I think…” She hesitated, then barreled on. “I think you just focus too much on what goes wrong.”

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it again, swallowing the denial that had come up more on instinct than anything. “You… you really think so?”

“It’s something I’ve noticed,” Lottie admitted. “You always seem like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, and only reluctantly realizing it isn’t going to.”

Steve looked at their clasped hands, swallowing thickly. “Do I… Do I do it a lot?”

“Not all the time, but… enough,” Lottie answered after some thought. “You’re always a second behind to laugh when everyone else does. You hang back, as if you’re afraid you don’t belong. Eventually you smile, but… you pause first.”

“I pause first,” Steve murmured, shoulders sagging.

“I think,” Lottie began, then hesitated. She ran her thumb along his knuckles. Finally, though, she finished, “I think you survived something that no one should have. But… maybe I did, too. So. Steve? Maybe, just once… you could just let yourself be happy. And see what happens.”

Steve stared at her, unsure of what to say. He supposed she’d know about surviving something she wasn’t meant to, though, even if it wasn’t to the extent he had. Finally, though he drew his hand back, setting them both on the table on either side of the embroidery hoop in front of him. “Okay,” he said, uncertain whether he was agreeing with her or just trying to avoid answering. “What do we do first?”

Lottie stared at him for a very long time, stare penetrating. Eventually, she saw whatever she was looking for, instead turning her attention to his embroidery hoop as well. “First, we’re going to thread the needle and knot your thread. Then we’re going to do a holding stitch. And then, you’re learning how to do a backstitch.”

“Okay,” Steve said, carefully picking up the needle between two fingers. It really was the smallest needle he’d ever seen, and she had what looked like hundreds of them. He figured if he lost it, she’d have plenty to hold her over until he could replace it.

“Oh, and I got you these, so you can see better,” Lottie added, handing him a set of magnifying glasses.

Steve took them more on instinct than actual acceptance. He stared at them. Tried not to frown. Failed. “Don’t tell Tony.”

Lottie scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Where do you think I got them?”

“These are Tony’s?!” Steve spluttered.

“He’s got, like, half a dozen pairs,” Lottie said with a blasé shrug. “Uses them for electrical work or something. I just said I needed a pair, and he told me to take them.”

Steve stared at them for a long moment, then sighed. “Don’t tell Tony. He’ll be insufferable.”

“I think that’s just his normal state of being,” Lottie said, not unkindly, and Steve couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him if he tried.

[bardicbeetle]

odd OC asks!

Moira: 🍋 (What is your OC's most painful memory?)

Jesse: 🍹(Does your OC have any funny anecdotes told about them?)

@flyingbananasaur Fuck it you're getting these like I'm running a roleplay blog because I feel like writing in character.

"Funny ones? God, maybe? Ninety percent of them are depressing as hell, gimme a minute..."

It's not, in fact, a minute.

You probably sit alone at the kitchen table for a good half hour until Moira comes through the front door and sees you there. That's fine, you've got a question for her too.

She makes you a cup of tea (it smells like citrus and...maybe rose? Not quite, a little lighter than that. it's a definitely floral but you can't place it. There is probably an alarming amount of honey in it.) and one for herself (whatever is in her mug smells like cinnamon and smoke, you can't taste it, but you did see her heap just as much honey into it as yours) before joining you at the table with an open sketchbook and a handful of pens.

You ask and she wrinkles her nose a bit.

"Uhhh... I mean, I try not to dwell on that shit. Daniel is the curse my past mistakes, oh what a fool I've been flavor, I'm more the hindsight-is-pointless-keep-moving-forward variety." Despite the words, she shifts a little uncomfortably, letting the sketchbook drop from where it's propped in one hand to flat on the table.

"I guess probably the day I left home. Not in like the sense that it hurt to be there, or it hurt to leave the place itself--but it's hard to think about the fact that it was the last time I saw my family. That it was the last time they saw me and it wasn't even me they were seeing. I dunno, it sucks to think that they've still got an image of me in their memory that isn't anything close to who I am." She smiles a little then, discomfort fading. "I guess that gives you an answer. I'm not much of a stick-around-the-hurting kinda person. I've got too much ahead of me to enjoy to bother with giving much attention or energy to the stuff that sucked."

"I thought of one--" Jesse is back, "--like I said, most of the memorable things are pretty depressing--" Moira suppresses a laugh that gets one of her own pens thrown at her. "--shut up. I--

"--spent the first six solid months of college taking ice cold showers because you thought there was no hot water--purely because there was no separate hot tap. Rich boy problems." Moira sighs dramatically, pretending to faint against the table.

The next pen Jesse throws lands directly in her mug, prompting her to pull the remainder of them into her lap. "Rude." Jesse grumbles, though it's not hostile in the slightest and he's still got a grin splitting his face. "Anyways. We had a proper bounty hunter show up once for one of the--Moira they already know--anyway--Avery, really truly looked like a fucking Texas ranger kinda guy, showed up on a horse. I think we had him convinced the whole household was possessed--" The more Jesse talks, the more evident it becomes that this is not somebody capable of telling a succinct story, at least, not verbally. "It was pretty clear he wasn't going to just, leave, so eventually we talked him into staying to get a death certificate so he could get paid, I got him to let my nieces ride his horse--although to be fair I think Jamie would have found some way to do it regardless of if she got permission--and I actually kept contact with him after he left."

Moira frowns slightly at that. "I didn't know you still heard from Avery."

"Yeah, he wanted help picking off the guys who left him in the desert, including his ex, who was a massive asshole." Jesse looks back over to you, smile soft and a bit apologetic. "I know that wasn't particularly funny, sorry, I'm a little empty on funny."

"You could have picked any of the times you met the other three people who live here, which--as a reminder--include: Immediately offering to fuck Daniel after knowing him for approximately ten minutes, handing me the bullet I used to shoot my old boss and promising me it would look accidental, and basically begging Alex to let you adopt them after--surprisingly long for you--a whole hour." Moira counts these off on her fingers as she speaks, a look caught halfway between confusion and amusement on her face.

Jesse just shrugs, "Pretty sure those are all common knowledge--and if not, now they get them as a bonus from you."

~*~

Goodnight, Quinn

[returnofahsoka]

first time i'm hearing about a droid or a nephew-slash-jedi padawan 👀👀👀

they are both pretty new additions!! thank you for asking!! i have some art of them i'll add later, i just have to find them in my sketchbook

bee is a b1 battle droid, who were all decomissioned by the empire once they were not needed. except this guy was kinda already malfunctioning so they didn't even bother to take him to be disassembled, just left him there in a back alley. that's where aid finds him and at first wants to see if he can take any useful parts. except bee's still working and aid knows the empire disposed of all battle droids, just like how they are now planning to get rid of the clones. add that to the fact that he's alone and depressed and feels lost because shit went down and they went separate ways with ro and then even more shit went down and he's alone. so fuck it. he drags this battle droid home to the ship and mechanics has been his coping mechanism for a while now anyway and he ran out of things to fix on the ship. so. he fixes him up and names him bee, and that's how the found family grows by one. bee's very loyal and maybe sometimes he's a little slow but aid and ro, once she returns, are fond of him all the same. he's curious about the world and about the things he didn't get to experience as a disposable weapon in the separatist army (which yeah, aid can kinda relate to). he's often uninentionally funny and doesn't always get how organics function, understands even less about ro's jedi hijincks, but he tries because he considers it his duty to help these two weird humans topple the empire and hopefully survive too

our nephew-slash-jedi padawan is an 11 y/o nautolan kid called jaime sio who ro stumbles into after the empire's fall (or rather, jaime stumbles into aid's repair workshop bcos his droid needs a new energy cell and ro is just there hanging out, but that's beside the point). jaime lost his family to the empire and fled with a group of fellow refugees to a new planet. when he becomes ro's padawan, she basically also adopts him, and that kinda sorta makes him aid's nephew. and. gosh, i've been thinking about this kid a lot lately. about how ro probably sees herself in him before the war and how he probably helps aid out at the shop more and more as he gets older and how he still sees dead bodies floating on water in his dreams and how he lost everything like they had and how they probably stay up with him at night and watch holos and how he learns to meditate and to make connections and to fight against the remnants of the empire and to heal and to fix broken things and how sometimes they train at the shore because ro tries to adapt to her padawan or sometimes they straight up just have a beach day because there are still risks but it's safer now to just be and to just exist than it has been his whole life and how he probably finds his kyber crystal in some sunken temple underwater and how he probably plays dejarik against bee and how he fits in here like he was probably always meant to. anyways, i love jaime, i love that they are his family now

[minileena-sfw]

Zookeeper - part 4

prev - next

On that first tour of the little section of the zoo that I was responsible for, I had been excited about my job until Jasper told me that the parvinnet was going to take all my enthusiasm away.

I chuckled to myself at that. Funny how the complete opposite became true.

All my other responsibilities were just chores now. I spent all day thinking about her. Layna. It was… a weird topic to think about. She was just an animal, obviously. We had a gorilla exhibit elsewhere in the zoo, and while none of them knew sign language, I knew that there were gorillas who had been taught to communicate like that. It spoke to a degree of intelligence, but not to the extent that it felt weird to have gorillas in cages at a zoo.

Well. At least no more than it felt weird to cage ANY animal and show them off to strangers at ten bucks for entry. Zoos are kinda fucked up when you think about them too much.

Still, thinking about Layna felt… different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Maybe it was just my brain playing tricks on me because her anatomy was so humanoid. Aside from her eyes and larger, mostly featureless ears, she looked pretty much like a normal human woman. To the extent that I started feeling uncomfortable with the fact that she, uh… didn’t have any clothes.

But, like… she’s not a person. I heard of an octopus in an aquarium that memorized the guard’s schedules and used off-time to sneak into a neighbouring tank to eat extra fish. That was cool and showed off the octopus’s intelligence, but… it’s not a person.

Layna had sounded so depressed and defeated yesterday…

Instead of thinking about the philosophy of personhood and sapience, I tried to reconcile my conflicting emotions by buying a bunch of cool shit for Layna’s tank. I remembered her complaining about not having anything intellectually stimulating, idly tearing at cotton just for something to do. My mind immediately went to toys—anything with moving parts to provide some enrichment for her. But the thought felt… wrong. She wasn’t a bored cat who needed a ball of yarn to bat around.

I came up with a different solution.

“Hey, Layna!” I called as I walked into her room at the end of my rounds.

I was greeted with a grunt. Layna wasn’t in her bed—she was on the opposite side of the tank, fidgeting and fiddling with one of the plastic plants.

“Messing around with the fake foliage?” I prompted as I grabbed her water bowl and cleaned it out.

“What the fuck else am I supposed to do in here?” She huffed.

I smirked. “Funny you should ask that… I brought you a little somethin’-somethin’.”

Layna’s brows furrowed and her attention shifted over to me. And to what I held in my hands.

After thinking about it for a while, I had eventually decided to buy her a little sketchbook. It was about as tall as she was—there wasn’t anything smaller I could find at Michael’s—and while nobody sold drawing utensils that she could use at her size, I tried to find a solution in a broken-off piece of mechanical pencil lead that could act as a drawing utensil of sorts.

Layna stared for a while, so I just set the sketchbook down next to her bed with a smile and returned to her water bowl.

“So… ignoring Jasper’s advice, then?” Layna prompted as she started making her way over to my side of the tank. “What’s that saying again? ‘Give a man an inch, he’ll take a mile?’ You’re, uh… offering me quite a few inches.”

I paused for a moment.

“I… know that,” I conceded. “But… it would feel wrong to not give you a few inches. I don’t quite get why, but… I dunno. It felt, like, correct to come here with this for you.” I set her clean water bowl back down in the cage and gave her a smile. “Anyways, I dunno if you’re an artist at all, but… I guess anything’s better than cotton and plastic foliage?”

Layna had finally made her way over to my side of the tank, looking at the sketchbook I had gotten her. She wore that expression again, the one I always have trouble placing… contemplative, maybe?

“You’re being nice to me because I’ve been cooperative,” Layna concluded. “These are, like, rewards?”

I pursed my lips at that. “I… am not quite sure why, but phrasing it like that feels weird.”

“Maybe because it’s basically pavlovian classical conditioning and that’s kinda fucked up,” Layna muttered as she lifted the sketchbook and brought it over to the glass tank, leaning it against the wall.

My eyes widened a bit. “How… do you know what that is?”

Layna huffed and moved to grab the pencil lead I had left for her. “I’m twenty-two years old. I’ve only been in this tank for three of those. I’m starting to suspect that you kinda just… never consider the fact that I existed outside of the context of these last three years. I had a life before this.”

Layna… is older than me.

I definitely internalized all her words and vowed to think on them more later, but for now that was what my mind was focused on. I was twenty-one. Why was it weird that she was older than me?

“Well, thanks for the reward incentive for my ‘good behaviour’ then, I guess,” Layna said as she started sketching at a level of proficiency that I had NOT been expecting. “You should finish your rounds. The sugar gliders are probably gonna get jealous that I’m taking all of your attention today.”

I nodded with furrowed brows and left to finish up the rest of my work in the room.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I realized that I had started to consider Evelyn my friend.

It was fair of me to do, I supposed. I was slowly going insane in this cage, after all. Perhaps I had been so deprived of any positive social interaction that the moment she offered me even a hint of kindness I latched onto it like a starving leech, desperate for something, anything to eat.

I would disabuse myself of this notion.

Evelyn was not my friend. She was my warden. These gifts and acts of kindness were intentional moves to try and make me more cooperative. I knew that for a fact. I could prove it.

I had to prove it. Because if she wasn’t my warden, then… she was an opportunity.

I needed to test this.

Once I misbehave, the rewards stop coming. That was the hypothesis.

And I had come up with the perfect experiment to prove it.

I tore out a sheet of paper from the sketchbook and started folding my path out of this cage.

Prev - next

[the-acid-pear]

Had a nightmare with my mother. I was in what felt like a mixture of my current and my former house, having the layout of the latter but the lightning and modern furniture of the former. I was a having a normal one, I had found some fun shoes that looked like heeled ankle high red boots with a fluffy end that I was gonna post about making some cunt serving santa joke but my mother decided to kidnap a fucking toddler she had beef with for some reason.

Whole dream felt nerve-wracking from that point on because I kept getting very emotional trying to stop this woman from hurting a literal toddler (which I kept calling a baby) while she showed absolutely zero emotion, completely stoic, I was screaming and threatening her with the police and she just looked at me like 😐

When I tried to call the cops at first I accidentally typed 999 btw. It was awkward because she was looking at it too so it was like, y'know.

I remember they put the baby on a chair 🪑 w a plate of... Bushed up bananas and something else so I ran over so I'd feed it and she wouldn't. And it was funny because the room was on the back, where irl my computer was, and I'd swear someone was sitting there, or at least the PC was on. Tried to have dialogue with the baby about bananas (last thing I ate before sleep actually) but I don't remember what he said.

I tried to call 911 fr this time but I couldn't tell her properly what was going on I kinda was just screaming AND I ended up being interrupted because my mother called out saying she'd just ran my two latest sketchbooks under the sink which was what pushed me over the edge, confronting her on the bathroom and even pushing her inside the tub where she, turned into some fancy dark clothed dressed kpop boy and not knowing how else to get back I just turned on the shower (I had an actual fancy bathroom with a porcelain tub and tiles but I still had an electric shower, enforcing the mixture of this house).

Wet sketchbooks in hand I ran outside and again, sat on my front yard with a white plastic table my mother owned and spread the pages under the sun to try get them to dry and be saved. I also tried to get pictures of them while something was still visible. Between my sketchbooks there also was the book Cuentos de Amor, de Locura y de Muerte by Horacio Quiroga (of my favorites) and in one page the letters were straight up gone. Someone was watching me do this, some... Guy, I guess it'd have been a family's friend son (from here). He asked me if the book was good for plays and I showed him the back, calming down because of the confusion, and was like shrugging like yeah and he mildly agreed.

Eventually I ran back inside the house and I saw my older brother on the phone with the cops and what I felt was undescribable. So much so once we locked eyes the scene was gone and now it was a sequence of these two white light bodies moving and merging and floating thru landscapes; mountains and hills, rivers and grasslands, the colors were green and yellow and blue and pastel, I felt genuine peace, a feeling of truly not being alone, a knowledge that someone else was there and I'd rely on them. It felt like our souls were intertwined it felt so beautiful.

Then I don't remember what happened after I came back I think I started dreaming of something else.

[dustylava]

English is not my native language, and i have no sense of humor, so, i'm so sorry.

You were sitting on the grass, in the park, where some sudden holiday was taking place again. A very pleasant-looking elderly lady asked permission to sit down next to you. You were a little confused, but the sight of Billy approaching you relaxed a little and you moved a little to the side and, smiling, nodded to the lady, to sit down. After being scattered in gratitude, a very adult lady, with a very pleasant voice, plopped down next to you, but still observing a respectful distance. Billy, who fished a bottle of water out of your backpack, asked, if everything was okay, to which you smiled and nodded cheerfully, saying, that he had nothing to worry about. The man looked at the elderly lady, sitting next to you, who was already making some sketches in her sketchbook. Apparently, feeling Billy's gaze on her, she turned to him with a kind smile. -Oh, I'm sorry. - She had a very pleasant voice. - If I embarrass you or make you uncomfortable, I can leave. - She sounded, like she really cared about it. -No, no, it's fine. - You began to calm her down, - you're not bothering me at all. - You turned your gaze to your lover. He just shrugged, saying, that as long as you're safe, he doesn't care. - Go, the boys are waiting for you already. - You smiled broadly and affectionately. Billy kissed you on the forehead and left, taking the bottle with him. After that, you both sat in silence. The lady was busy with her drawing, and you were hanging out in a book, sometimes glancing at Billy and the Company.

-You draw very beautifully... - You said shyly. Now you understand, why she wanted to sit here. The view of the alley is simply amazing. -Oh, thank you, my dear. - The elderly lady blushed slightly. You both fell silent again.

-Is this your beloved, dear? - You were surprised by such a sudden topic, but it doesn't look, like this artist is a danger. You smile gently and nod. - What a handsome man you have, baby. - You're smiling again, thanking her. - He looks very reliable. A little untidy, - the lady says, - but reliable. -Yes, he's like that. - You smiled at her again, - thank you. -My late Williams was like that too. - She put the album on her lap, - strong and brave. He was very smart. And he was very reliable and loyal. Oh, and what a handsome man he was... Oh my god..! -  She laughed softly, almost nobly. - Sometimes I felt, like I wasn't worthy of him... - And now she looked down at the album and smiled sadly, but still warmly. -Yeah, - you exhaled shallowly, - sometimes I think so too... He is such a... - You found Billy with your eyes, - a good one. He is very nice and very kind... And very beautiful... And strong. And he is always ready to protect, what is dear to him... - The old lady laughed playfully, looking at your amorous gaze. -Is yours also a selfless fool? -Oh! Oh, what a fool! - You both laughed.

You had a nice conversation. It turned out, that a very adult lady, with a very pleasant voice and elegant manners, is a wonderful woman. She is polite and, at the same time, moderately playful. A very nice woman.

-Oh, dear, - the lady smiled playfully again. - You probably call him "daddy", don't you? - You were taken aback at first, but her still kind smile did not cause dislike. She herself, for some reason, did not cause any unpleasant sensations. Although some of her jokes were, though funny, but very caustic. -Nah, - you smiled snide, looking at Billy again. - He's my "mommy". - The lady nodded understandingly and approvingly, with a soft laugh.

🌌Flashbacks🌌

Billy: "Y/n! Where the fuck are you going? Y/n, it's dangerous!" Billy: "did you go out without a jacket again? - The man began to aggressively take off his leather jacket. - It's cold outside, and you're wearing only a sweatshirt! Dumbass... - He, still aggressively, wrapped you in his jacket and pressed you to his chest. - You'll get sick and die..." Billy: "okay, Y/n, that's enough. You've had enough alcohol for today!" Billy: "Y/n, no!" Billy: "enough, I'll finish it myself. You go get some rest."

Billy: "Y/n, no!" Y/n: "but mooooom..!" Billy: "I said no, - he looked at you sternly, - it's dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt! - You just opened your mouth to object, but Billy frowned and pressed his lips tightly." Y/n: "okay, mom..."

[huge-enthusiast]

MIRACULOUS FIC RECOMENDATIONS!! (Part 2)

You can find part 1 here.

The first one was really popular! So I decided to make a second part.

The rules are the same:

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don’t put the author’s tumblr is because they didn’t put it in the fic or/and I couldn’t find it.

The only thing that changes is that I would be putting the pairing in the description of the fic.

Without further ado...

Written in the Stars by Boogum (@botherkupo here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and Adrienette.

He was the god of destruction. She was a princess whose kingdom had been prophesied to fall. To save her people, she became his wife. To save him, she would have to do the impossible. The castle has secrets, the gods are watching, and time is running out.

Chapters: 37/37

TW for mild violence.

Arrange marriage, God AU. While I'm making this list, I still haven't finished the fic, but I had to recommend it because is THAT good. The way I gasped out loud while reading some of the plot twists. The worldbuilding is so good, and even if you aren't into AUs that deviate a lot from cannon like me, I 100% reccomend it.

Need a Lift? again by Boogum.

Pairing: DJWifi

Getting stranded on a foreign planet sucked. Luckily for Nino, his rival was willing to give him a lift home. Unluckily for Nino, she was beautiful and funny and he might just be in love with her.

Chapters: 1/1

Space Bounty Hunter AU! Really sweet and funny. If you are into flustered!Nino then this fic is for you.

hey, you by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

“Have you ever had a dream about someone that changes the way you think of them?”

or Adrien has a dream about Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

Okay so, peachcitt is one of my favorite ml writers. Everything that they write is sooo good y'all, and i'm already a sucker for adrienette, so I cannot recommend this fic (or any of theirs) enough.

double dare again by peachcitt (I told ya!)

Pairing: Ladrien (with lots of sided ladynoir)

“Don’t ever do that again,” Marinette says, maybe a little too emphatically, and Adrien looks at her, his expression quiet. His cheeks, Marinette notices, are a little red.

“But I wanted to save you,” he says.

or Ladybug and Adrien can't seem to stop running into each other. (whether that is on accident or on purpose is nobody's business but their own, of course).

Chapters: 30/30

This was a ladrien june fic! Every chapter corresponds to the day's prompts but it also continues a story. If that doesn't make you want to read it then I don't know what it will. I fear fanfic writers, they're insane.

(not) so much by therentyoupay (@therentyoupayfanfiction here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and adrienette

(The claws are sharp, but the host of Destruction—for all of his loudmouth chaos and lack of reserve—is paradoxically careful.)

Chapters: 1/1

In which Chat Noir pays a visit not long after Marinette has made a pretty difficult decision, and they accidentally make a routine.

Prompt: Marinette gives Chat a hickey. Adrien has a suspiciously similar looking hickey the next day at school...

Gotta be honest with y'all, I did not expect this fic to be as good as it is. The adrienette has everything a stablished!Marichat should have. Marinette conflicted with her feelings? Check. Adrien being a hot mess bc That's My Girlfriend But She Doesn't Know That? Check. Them being absolute idiots? Check. It's good!

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News (Your Lips Is The Only Cure I Could Use) by BreG21.

Pairing: Adrienette

Rainwater sloshed up from the pools they had made on the sidewalk and coated his jean pants with every step he took. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He sniffed away some of the water that dribbled down his matted head. "Yeah?"

He paused as if to consider his words while Adrien stared down at him, so lost. "You weren't wrong when you thought you knew. A part of you wanted it to be her, but it was too perfect, you let the illusion fool you because how would you get that lucky. But trust me, Adrien. You weren't wrong."

He wasn't wrong? What was he not wrong about?

You weren't wrong. You want it to be her.

And it finally clicked as a small gasp wisped past his lips. He wasn't wrong.

In which, Plagg falls ill, and with Fu gone and Ladybug being the guardian now, has to go find her civilian self-even with the knowledge that she might not like that-is shocked to realize that even with having the kwami that was supposed to embodied the very being of bad luck, Adrien could conclude the very opposite of what he had thought for so long.

He was so very lucky.

Chapters: 1/1

I screamed so hard while reading this fic. It's just one of those who gets the characters right. Do you like a good reveal? Go read this now.

Operation Mega Sleepover by InTheWild (@smellerbeee here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

When Alya and Nino drop out of their long awaited mega-sleepover at the last minute, it leaves Marinette and Adrien alone together for the night. An Adrinette one-shot with lots of fluff and sleepover shenanigans.

Chapters: 1/1

I just,,, I love adrienette fluff so much,,, I love them,,,

You, Me & A Little Bit Of The Future by joonapeach.

Pairing: this is a fortunate case of all lovesquare shenanigans™

Marinette expects some disaster on her first outing alone with Adrien.

She just doesn't expect that disaster to be her future self passing off a baby for her to take care of with Adrien.

(Alternatively... two idiots obliviously in love cooing over their daughter while acting like they have no idea whose kid this is.)

Chapters: 1/1

I think the description says anything that it needs to be said. It's really sweet and funny and I love how they just change their minds so quickly and get emo for literally nothing. Peak shakesperean dumbasery.

The entire Marry That Girl series by Miraculous_Max (Maximilian_Alexander).

Pairing: Adrienette

Let’s say Marinette has a special sketchbook. This sketchbook is filled with drawings of their future house, of Adrien as an adult in multiple occupational settings, of Marinette and Adrien’s wedding, and most importantly, their future children.

Let's say Adrien found this sketchbook.

Works: 8 (All are 1/1 chapters)

Just realized how this list exposes me as number 1 adrienette sucker... oh well. I love how Adrien doesn't feel weirded out by the intensity of Marinette's crush. He likes it! He's as weird and romantic as her! That's one of the reasons I love the lovesquare so much and it makes me happy to see that everyone is in the same boat with me.

Strenght by 11JJ11.

Pairing: Adrienette

Marinette knew she was much stronger than she looked thanks to being a hero. So when her class had an arm wrestling contest she knew that she could beat all of them with ease, but she wasn't expecting anyone else to come close.

Chapters: 1/1

Good ol' accidental reveal feat. the entire class shenanigans. I, once again, screamed for an adrienette fic. Who could've thought.

Super Fan by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

It was a good thing Alya was holding the phone and not her, because it would have slipped from her fingers and shattered. How had she not noticed? She had been there, and somehow she’d missed her crush looking at her like she was an angel sent from heaven.

Forget the perfume ad. This picture was going to be her new desktop.

(In which Marinette realizes that she and Adrien might both be obsessive fans.)

Chapters: 1/1

Canon divergent from after Gorizilla. They're so dumb. That's my opinion on this fic.

How to Kiss Your Crush in Five Minutes or Less also by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

He just needed to know if Ladybug needed Chat Noir. He didn't expect to learn just how much she wanted Adrien.

This would be the best five minutes of his life, if he didn't expect her to forget it.

Chapters: 1/1

CW for making out.

Set during Desperada. I promise there's a happy ending. Also Luka is there for some reason, felt really bad for him.

Laying Down the Rules: The Gabriel Agreste Clauses by LadyKae

Gen

Adrien leaves the manor on a dark and stormy night and seeks sanctuary at the only place he feels safe: The Home of the Dupain-Cheng Family. When Sabine learns why her dear boy is fleeing to her home in the middle of the night, she makes a personal visit to one Gabriel Agreste.

There's more rules in play, but not for Adrien and Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

This is just Sabine going to beat the fuck out of Gabriel and it's really satifying ngl

4am. by hannieks

Pairing: post-reveal lovesquare

In which Adrien has the cat tendency to wake up their owners at stupid o'clock, and Marinette just wants to sleep. Cuteness ensues.

Chapters: 1/1

Really short but really sweet. If you like Adrien acting like a cat then you would like this.

Can I Date You(r Character)? by midnightstarlightwrites (@midnightstarlightwrites here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

Adrien turned to her, something unreadable in his gaze. “Are you ok with this?” he asked.

And what a loaded question that was. Was she ok with it? Was she ok with the one guy she couldn’t seem to get over in real life kissing her in a game of Dungeons and Dragons? When she put it like that, it seemed a bit silly to get so worked up.

It was just a game...right?

She was ok with it, right?

“Sure,” she lied. “I’m ok with it.”

When Adrien's character falls in love with Marinette's, they decided to date in-game. What could go wrong?

Chapters: 7/?

THIS ONE IS SO CUTE. You want to scream??? Read this.

two idiots and a hamster by Boogum (again) and carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Pairing: Adrienette

How do you hide your superhero identity from your roommate? (spoiler alert: badly)

Chapters: 5/?

Once @anna-scribbles described this fic as "is literally the closest i’ve ever seen a fic come to matching the energy of canon", and I couldn't have described it better.

And that's all for now! Next time I will probably make an only DJWifi list since I've been treating them so dirty lol.

[ms-starflower]

Spook-tober Maribat Day 2 — Scarecrow

@maribat-october-rarepairs

This idea stuck with me since the moment I saw 'scarecrow' as a prompt and I really love how it turned out. It's maybe a little bit crack-ish, I'm not sure.

Well, alright, here we go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim had walked into his fair share of totally weird and unreal scenes since he moved in with Bruce, all those years ago. But walking in the living room to see his fiancée talking with an unresponsive Scarecrow, both sitting on the couch together, was downright the worst one. And the most alarming!

“—and I don’t think that would drive the point home, you understand, Monsieur l’Épouvantail?” Marinette was saying, not looking up from her sketchbook. “I need something that say ‘fuck you for insulting me’, you see. Because the twink dared underestimating me and I can’t—”

“Mari?” He whispered softly, afraid to break the apparent peace if he talked too loudly.

“Huh?” Marinette looked up, lighting up when she saw him. Tim forgot that a rogue was in his living room for all of a second when he saw her smile at him like that, before reality smacked him in the face to make him focus. “Hey, chéri, how was your day?”

“Mari. Mari, babe, why is Scarecrow here?” Tim said slowly, his panic clearly noticeable in his tone. He was walking slowly toward her, keeping his eyes on Scarecrow. Who hadn’t moved since Tim got here. Something was wrong.

“He is my new friend!” She told him excitedly with a smile, putting her sketchbook aside and passing an arm around Scarecrow’s shoulders.

“Wait, don’t—” Tim whisper-shouted, taking a couple of steps toward her, arms outstretched.

“Are you okay, Tim?” She asked with her tilting slightly in confusion. In confusion! “Do you have the phobia of scarecrows? Hey, how do you call the phob—”

“Marinette,” he started, only slightly hysterical. “Marinette. Scarecrow. In Bruce’s living room.”

“Um, yeah? I know, I brought him here? Why— Oh, are you afraid he is going to make a mess? Don’t worry, he isn’t going anywhere,” she said laughing like she just made a hilarious joke. She stopped suddenly, letting go of Scarecrow's shoulders with a frown. “I really need to stop hanging out around Adrien so much, his sense of humour is rubbing off on me.”

“Marinette… Is he,” Tim started slowly, looking at Scarecrow who still hadn’t moved. “Is he dead.”

“Well, obviously,” she said with a frown, oblivious of Tim’s internal panic. “Though, I think it really depends on the definition you give to ‘dead'. Are you dead when you lack life? Or do you need to have been alive for being dead? Technically, is paper a dead tree?”

“Marinette,” Tim whimpered, at the edge of his sanity. “Did you kill the Scarecrow? Before bringing him here, in Bruce’s house?”

“Of course not! I didn’t kill him, I mean. Scarecrow can’t be killed, you dummy.” She told him with a look, standing up from the couch. “But I did bring him there, Kon is going to look for him at our place first, Bruce’s was the best place to hide.”

“Scarecrow can’t— Oh my god, Mari, what?” Tim whispered desperately, putting his hand in his hair, before the second part registered. “Wait, Kon is in on that? What the hell happened between you?!”

“He said I couldn’t steal him! I’m going to make that little twink eat his words,” she told him fiercely, taping her fist in her hand.

“You stole him?! Did you— Oh my god, Mari, did you break into Arkham to steal Scarecrow?” He screeched, already creating plans, and back up plans, to try and keep the backlash of that away from Marinette.

They would need to get rid of the body first, and before Bruce found it. Alfred could probably help. And Jason too, he would help, he loved Mari. Jason probably knew the best place for that. And who to frame for the murder too. Someone awful, so they could knock two birds with one stone. They would need—

“Seigneur, Tim, what the hell are you talking about?!” Marinette exclaimed, cutting through his planning spiral, and looking at him like he was crazy.

“What am I talking about? You just brought a Rogue’s corpse in Bru—”

“Oh mon dieu,” she interrupted, putting a hand on her eyes. “Putain de merde, I forgot they had one like that,” she muttered in french under her breath. “Tim, chéri, do your scarecrow themed supervillain look exactly like that,” she told him slowly, pointing her hand toward Scarecrow.

“Of course he does! It’s his corpse!” Tim screeched, feeling like his head was going to explode.

“Yeah, no honey, it’s not. As it turns out, Martha Kent has a very twisted sense of humour,” she said, looking back at the scarecrow still sitting innocently on the couch.

“Martha Kent— What are you,” Tim muttered, looking at the scarecrow more closely. He was a bit lost as to what Mrs Kent had to do with this situation.

“It’s hers. It’s not the Scarecrow, chéri, it’s a scarecrow. Kon told me that Martha was very protective of her scarecrow, I could see why now. I would too, if I had something that funny in my backyard,” she said with a nod and a contemplative expression. “Anyway, I said that for twenty dollars, I would steal it. And the twink dared to say, in my face, that there was no way I could pull that off.”

“So… you stole it,” he said softly, letting himself fall beside the offending scarecrow on the couch. It was a really good imitation.

“I didn’t just steal it! I used Trixx to make Martha see Kon stealing it,” she said with a smug smirk, and the only thing Tim could think was how attractive that made her. Then she narrowed her eyes and looked at him suspiciously. “Wait, you thought I killed a supervillain and brought his corpse here? Oh my god, Tim, who do you take me for?!”

“Well,” he started, the panic that was finally starting to recede making his way back through him. “I mean—”

“I’m not stupid, Timbers,” she talked over him, ignoring his whimpered ‘don’t call me Timbers, please’. “If I killed someone I wouldn’t bring the corpse here, Jason would be hundreds times more useful than any of you for that sort of crime.”

“Oh my god, do you often think about which one of us would be better to help in your potential criminal activities?”

“Because you don’t?” She asked, an eyebrow raised as if he was an idiot.

“Alright, fair. But—” The violent opening of the door cut through his retort and they both turned around to see a fuming Kon furiously walking toward them. He stopped a couple of steps before Mari, looking at her like he wanted nothing more than to burn her with his eyes only. Which, well, he could.

“Do you know, by any chance, why my grandmother called me to chew me out for stealing her precious scarecrow, when I know for a fact that you are the one who did it?” He told her through clenched teeth. “I had to listen to her lecture for thirty minutes, Marinette. Thirty minutes! She threatened to stop feeding me her pecan pie!”

Marinette blinked at him for a second, before looking at Tim, who was innocently sitting beside said scarecrow.

They both burst in laughter, ignoring Kon’s angry stammering.

[peridyke]

Lapidot opinions? any thoughts?

omg fhdhf I'm so sorry this took so long LOLLL I had a lot to say and ended up slowly typing this over the last week! Anyways I wrote way more than I expected so I'm gonna put it under a read more for everyone's sake, so if you want to see my lapidot thoughts in excruciating detail here you guys go

can't stand it ghfh lmao no believe it or not I actually have a lot of reasons I really like lapidot! (admittedly some more superficial than others lollll). getting this out of the way the thing that at the end of the day probably has the most influence over my opinion of lapidot is that peridot and lapis have been my favorite characters since I watched the show as a teenager! I literally have ship art of them in old sketchbooks from 2015 way before they had anything close to a friendly interaction together in canon haha so of course once they started forming that relationship I was all for it.

Going into more solid reasons, I like that foundationally they already have a lot in common as both being gems formerly unallied with earth now in a situation where they are calling it their home and have to navigate being comfortable with that. There's something really sweet about how Peridot has a lot of empathy for Lapis struggling to adjust to life on earth because of everything she went through and all the effort she puts into trying to let Lapis know that she cares about her happiness, even when Lapis is less than friendly to her lol. I think it makes sense why Lapis would be so cold to Peridot and I think she has every reason to be, but in the end she decided to give Peridot a chance and ended up forming a really close bond with her.

I also admittedly have a soft spot for "and they were roommates" tropes LMAOOOO I think its really cute when characters fall in love after living with each other alone as strangers or friends. i actually have a really funny story related to that, when I was a teenager going into my senior year of high school I had a crush on my current girlfriend who at the time was my long distance internet bff of four years and I wanted to start a relationship with her but I was both 1. too shy to ask her out and 2. intimidated by the concept of a long distance relationship. so my master fucking plan was that I was like, ohhh we can go to the same college and then be roommates together and then we can slowly fall in love and then I won't have to ask her out :)" I ended up asking her out like three months later LOL but my point with this story is yeah of course my stupid gay ass is gonna enjoy Lapis and Peridot slowly falling in love while living alone by themselves on the countryside. I am literally nothing if not predictable.

MOVING ON AGAIN TO MORE SOLID REASONS LOL I really think their bond together in general is sweet, I like that they get each others jokes and do most everything together. I love that they have a little fucking pumpkin puppy together because of course they do, that's probably the most dykey thing "roommates" can do together. I also love how much Peridot seems to care about Lapis's wellbeing specifically in reference to her feelings about Jasper, even if she does come off as a bit overprotective. Although I'm otherwise pretty underwhelmed by the comics I really enjoy the time they spend developing Lapis and Peridot's relationship, it seems that they both have childish sides and sometimes get into petty arguments but are also aware of their immaturity streak and ultimately care about each others wellbeing. I think that's something that they will probably mature out of as they grow as people later in the series but I can see a bit of that always being somewhat present in their relationship, I don't think thats necessarily a bad thing though as long as they're aware and learn to control it.

This is potentially controversial but what makes them REALLY interesting to me is actually the events of Raising the Barn! It really puts on display the flaws in what seemed on the outside as a perfect relationship and combined with Lapis's decision at the end of the episode puts forward some hard questions about if and how they'll be able to work things out when she comes back. One of Lapis's major character flaws is that she has a history of acting selfishly based on her feelings in a given situation and failing to consider the long-lasting harm the things she does might have on other people. That's something I actually enjoy about her character because I've definitely been in places in my life where I've done drastic things as a result of my personal pain without considering how they might hurt other people, and its something I wish we had gotten to see her grapple with more. In this situation Lapis chose to uproot her and Peridot's entire life as she flees from everything good she's ever had because of paranoia and feeling like her solution is the only correct one, and we see later that she regrets that choice and worries about what Peridot will think of her when she returns. In terms of whether their relationship can recover, I think things could go either way depending on how Peridot feels and how much effort Lapis is willing to put in to improving things, but my admittedly very biased opinion is that I think they could work things out even if it means tackling some hard truths about the flaws in their relationship. As someone whose been in a long term relationship for almost 7 years now, I'm kind of bemused when people call Lapis and Peridot's relationship as a whole toxic or abusive because of the side of it shown in Raising the Barn, because the communication problem they're having is pretty common in relationships and is something I think a lot of people struggle with. Lapis is a reactive person who has been through a lot, and Peridot knows this and wants to do everything she can to keep her from being upset even if it means hiding her feelings and bending over backwards to keep Lapis stable. This isn't a healthy dynamic or something that can be sustained, but it's something that can be fixed with communication and time.

The elephant in the room there obviously is that the one time Peridot is open about her feelings when they contradict Lapis's, Lapis reacts terribly. I don't think this was Lapis trying to hurt Peridot, I think she's just very driven by impulse and intense emotion, but nevertheless the damage is done. If Lapis and Peridot are going to be healthier for each other then Lapis needs to put in the work to show Peridot that she can be honest about her feelings, and that can be a really difficult thing to prove to someone once you've already broke their trust. In my own relationship, there have been many times where I've personally reacted to things in ways I ended up deeply regretting and that I had to put time into fixing. In every relationship, even when you think you're prepared for every possible conflict and have accounted for every personal flaw of yours, stuff happens and you will say and do things you regret because thats just a part of being a person. I relate to Peridot's struggles with holding back from letting Lapis know her honest thoughts as that's something I've similarly held back on and have only recently started being open about with my partner. It can be really, really hard contradicting someone you love, especially when they're hurting and you want to be their rock, but it's something important to the longterm health of a relationship.

I am really disappointed that Future never touched on Lapis and Peridot's relationship to each other after the finale and seemed to go out of its way to distance them from each other. I think that giving them a resolution is not only satisfying for their stories but also ties into the overarching themes of relationships and forgiveness in the show. Having a episode addressing the fallout of Lapis's decision and the way they're handling it emotionally could have been an opportunity for a mature message about how to handle hurting someone you care about that I think would tie in well with the story of Future and I'm saddened that we never saw that. I'm admittedly a little hurt by the lampshading of their relationship thats happened in recent years just because they are pretty blatantly queercoded and having that be backed up on feels uh...I don't wanna throw words around but it does make me feel a bit baited LOL

[aurumacadicus]

@winterironmonth​ prompt -- SFW Sunday: Word, Dialogue

Word: Confession

Dialogue: “Shit… I’m in love with [pronounce choice].”

I’d like to apologize in advance because this is so chaotic compared to the beauty I posted yesterday. 😔 On the other hand, working in a school is chaotic, and it’s worse when the kids are smart. Don’t forget to blacklist ‘long post’!

--

Tony was explaining the concept of electromagnetism, red marker bright against his whiteboard, when he realized the truth. “Shit. I’m in love with him. I’m in love with Bucky Barnes.”

Then he remembered where he was and he spun around to face the class, mortified. He didn’t make a sound. On the other hand, neither did the class, who were staring at him in what looked like astonishment. He wondered if he could make a break for the door and turn in his resignation before word got out.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter finally said, voice weak. “Are you telling us that you didn’t know?”

“What do you mean am I telling you? You knew?!” Tony barked, somehow even more mortified than before. He hadn’t even thought that was possible.

“Mr. Stark, you’re like, embarrassingly obvious,” M.J. drawled, finally turning her attention back to her desk.

Tony was dismayed to realize she was pulling out her sketchbook where she practiced drawing people in crisis. Was he in crisis? Was he going into her sketchbook? He should probably resign with an email and go live in the forest in shame. Could he survive in a forest? Oh God. He was in crisis.

“You signed up to participate in the student verses teacher basketball game just so you could be on the team with him, Mr. Stark,” Ned told him, not unkindly.

“I—I could be into sports,” Tony began to sputter.

“Everyone knows you’re not into sports, Mr. Stark,” Peter said.

Tony squinted at him, trying to decide if the gentleness of his tone annoyed him. Mostly it just made the prospect of fucking off to a forest and dying more palatable. He turned back to the board and mechanically wrote the rest of the equation he’d been writing. Stared at it. Turned back to the class. “If any of you tell Barnes, you will be directly responsible for my death.”

“I don’t think anyone’s died of humiliation yet, Mr. Stark,” Flash said sarcastically.

“I’ll walk straight out into traffic,” Tony corrected, returning his attention to the board. He drew a stick figure and a square car. “Let’s get back to physics. How fast does a car need to go to kill me instantly when it hits me?”

Kamala raised her hand. “Mr. Stark? This is making me really uncomfortable.”

Tony paused, then added a necktie to the stick figure before turning to face the class again. “Okay. How fast does a car need to go to kill Elon Musk instantly when it hits him?” He watched several more hands fly up and hoped that none of this got back to their parents.

.-.

Miraculously, it didn’t get back to Barnes. Tony figured that the being hit by a car thing had made all the kids keep their mouths shut.

“Am I too dramatic?” Tony asked himself as he printed out flyers for the robotics club.

Steve looked over from the coffee machine with a raised eyebrow. “You? Too dramatic? Absolutely.”

“Hey,” Tony began, offended.

“You said you were going to tar and feather me for shit-talking the Mets,” Steve deadpanned. “And then you burst into my classroom of freshmen, threw paint on me, then dumped a bag of feathers on me.”

“I feel like, since I was reprimanded by Fury, I should get a pass for that,” Tony muttered, mostly to himself but partly to Steve.

Steve shrugged. “I mean, I thought it was funny. The Mets lost that week.”

“The disrespect I get in this fucking building,” Tony huffed, tapping the sheaf of papers to shuffle them together.

Steve ignored him. He normally did when Tony was complaining. “Anyway, have you noticed the decathlon team being super secretive lately?”

“I rarely notice anything about teenagers,” Tony said.

“God, I wish that was me,” Steve muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then he sighed, letting his hand drop to the counter. “They’ll be whispering amongst themselves, and whenever I ask what it’s about, they pretend like it was about school. I know it wasn’t about school. They’re shifty,” he added when Tony raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. “Like I am whenever Natasha tries to set me up on dates.”

“Ah,” Tony said with understanding. Then he remembered his ill-timed Moment of Clarity, and he nearly swallowed his tongue. “Steve. Steve do you ever hear what they’re saying. Steve this is important.”

Steve frowned at him, concerned. “…I guess I hear them mention Bucky. Surely they’re not talking about our fifteenth president, James Buchanan, in terms of his romantic status. Although they might,” he added to himself, ignorant of the way Tony was starting to hyperventilate. “Kids are weird. Especially smart ones.”

Tony managed to slow his breathing to take a deep breath. Then he threw his head back and let out a deep, primal pterodactyl screech.

Steve stared at him, then threw his hands up in exasperation. “Oh my God. And you seriously wondered if you were too dramatic. Cut that out,” he added sharply when Tony didn’t stop on his own. He looked up as Clint came into the staff room. “Clint—”

“Nope,” Clint said, turning on his heel and leaving.

Steve eventually got Tony to calm down, mostly by shaking him and threatening to get Fury and then, when that failed, threatening to get Pepper, which made Tony clam up and skitter out of the room in terror. Steve wanted to kick himself over it for days, because he didn’t have time to pry the reason for his screams before he escaped like a fucking eel. It would have saved him a lot of time and misery.

.-.

Tony got stuck putting up the flyers. It was technically Peter’s duty, but he was studying for the upcoming decathlon meet, and Tony had had work he wanted to avoid, so there he stood, putting up flyers and avoiding some grading.

“Hey, Tony,” Bucky said, coming up beside him.

Tony stapled a flyer to his thumb. He stared at the blood welling up around the staple and tried to remember the last time he’d had a Tetanus shot. Could he pretend that he had not just stapled a flyer to himself? He peeked up at Bucky. Bucky looked reasonably horrified, so he figured playing it off was out. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to ignore this happened.”

“No,” Bucky said, like it was punched out of him.

Tony sighed, frowning at his thumb. He glanced at Bucky. Looked back down at his finger. Considered.

“Oh God please don’t do what I think you’re about to do,” Bucky begged.

Tony ignored him, grabbed the piece of paper, and yanked. “Ah, that was a mistake,” he said sadly when the paper pulled away, but the staple stayed in his finger.

“Stop,” Bucky cut in before he could pick at it. “I’m taking you to the nurse.”

Tony did not swoon when Bucky grabbed his arm to tow him to the office, but mostly because he was staring at the staple in his thumb. “Anyway, what did you want?”

“Well, I was going to confess I knew you were in love with me for months and was just waiting for you to make a move, since I overheard the students trying to figure out if I was single for you,” Bucky explained, grimacing a little. “Then I overheard the part about you walking into traffic, and I decided waiting wasn’t a chance I wanted to take.”

Tony tried to surreptitiously escape his grip so he could walk out of the school and then simply keep walking until he could disappear straight into the ocean. Bucky tightened his grip and yanked him over to the office instead.

“You’re just saying what I want to hear,” Tony said.

“No I’m not,” Bucky told him firmly. “And you’re an idiot. I’ve known ever since you joined the first staff versus student basketball game three years ago. You don’t even like sports.”

“I like sports!” Tony exclaimed, offended.

Bucky turned to give him a scowl. “Yeah, watching them, maybe. Could even enjoy a little one-on-one. But playing with two full teams? You look like a fucking chihuahua trying not to get stepped on, Tony.”

“It’s not my fault that Steve and Thor are both giants and I’m small,” Tony said indignantly.

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it again with a sigh, shaking his head. “It’s a good thing I think you’re cute, I guess. Otherwise I might be put off.”

“I have a staple in my thumb,” Tony reminded him, waving his thumb in his face for good measure, as if he might have forgotten the reason he was frogmarching him to the nurse’s office.

Bucky turned to give him his best bitch face, usually reserved for Steve when he got up to shenanigans or students when they were purposely trying his patience to see if he’d throw a chair like rumors said. “Yeah, and I thought maybe I’d kiss it better after we got the staple out and we got it bandaged up. Maybe take you out for ice-cream to make you feel better.”

“Are you telling me this staple got me a date?” Tony asked indignantly as Bucky dug around in a drawer for tweezers.

“Well, I was going to ask you out regardless, I just don’t think you’ll want to dig your wounded finger into a bucket of salty popcorn or a basket of fries,” Bucky told him, then grabbed his hand and yanked it close. “Hold still.”

“You don’t know,” Tony muttered, petulant, as Bucky carefully prodded at the staple to figure out the best way to pull it out. “Maybe I would. Maybe I’m kinky and like that kind of thing. Maybe I’m a masochist!”

Bucky carefully grasped the staple with the tweezers and gave Tony a very unimpressed frown. “Are you turning down ice-cream?”

“No, I like mocha almond fudge,” Tony began, scowling at him.

“Then we’ll go get ice-cream, and if you really need that kinky itch scratched, I’ll take you home and spank you,” Bucky replied.

Tony opened his mouth, even though he had no idea what he would have said. Luckily(?), Bucky yanked the staple out at that moment, so all that came out was a yelp.

.-.

“And on to the next order of business,” Coulson said, looking through his papers. “Ms. Romanoff, who won the pot?”

Natasha poked at her phone, going over the spread sheet. “It looks like a tie between Bruce and Pepper.”

“What,” Bucky said.

“Bruce got the time slot,” Natasha continued, ignoring him. “And Pepper’s position of ‘Tony will embarrass himself in front of students, cause physical injury to himself, and that will kick Bucky’s ass into gear to ask him out’ as how they’d get together was closest. Although Steve was close with ‘eventually Bucky will realize Tony’s an idiot.’”

“I concede to Pepper’s scarily accurate prediction,” Steve said, and Pepper smiled smugly.

“What,” Bucky repeated, scowling.

Bruce turned to Tony. “Shall I put your cut into the robotics club fund?”

“Please,” Tony said agreeably.

Bucky swiveled around to stare at him, aghast. His mouth worked wordlessly before he finally managed to burst out, “Tony, what the fuck?!”

Tony blinked at him placidly. “I’m eccentric but predictable. I am a safe bet. That means I get ten percent off the top.”

“It’s true,” Clint added when Bucky didn’t immediately have a response. “You were the wild card here, not Tony. None of us knew when you would get your head out of your ass. Well, except Steve,” he muttered, and Steve perked up like the golden retriever he was. “He thought it would take longer, though.”

“I miscalculated on how soon his electromagnetism unit was coming up in his curriculum,” Steve grumbled.

“Hey am I the only one who thinks this is all FUCKING WEIRD,” Bucky shouted.

Coulson frowned at him. “No need to yell, Barnes.”

“This is part of the experience of working here,” Thor told him kindly. “It is the nature of a small school.”

“I don’t like this,” Bucky said.

“Would it make you feel better if I gave you a cut, too,” Pepper deadpanned.

Bucky stared at her for a moment, then muttered, “Maybe.”

“Twenty-six dollars to Barnes, Phil,” Pepper said, looking at him.

“YOU GUYS BET TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY DOLLARS ON WHEN WE WERE GONNA DATE?!” Bucky bellowed, standing.

Clint raised an eyebrow at him. “No, that’s just half. Bruce and Pepper have to split it, remember?”

“You can use your cut to pay for our next date,” Tony added helpfully.

Bucky fell back into his seat with a groan, putting his face in his hands. “God.”

Steve patted him on the back perhaps a little harder than necessary. “You’ll get used to it, bud.”

“Get away from me. You didn’t even get the pot,” Bucky hissed, pushing him away.

“I was working on misinformation, I said!” Steve argued. “I was looking at his schedule from last year!”

“That’s because you’re an idiot,” Bucky said, and then they lunged at each other.

Tony watched them wrestle on the floor, then turned back to Coulson. “What’s next on the list? I have to prep for our experiment today.”

Coulson looked back at his clipboard. “Parent-teacher conferences are next month.”

Everyone at the table groaned, loudly, even Steve and Bucky, and they were still wrestling under the table.