#she was made to physically be mid 20s | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

comfortless · 11 months ago

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In Our Angelhood

König x fem!reader

content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. silly & odd strangers -> lovers au, loner/loner dynamic. canon divergent. mentions of physical and emotional abuse, violence, hurt + comfort, mentions of religion & religious imagery (Catholicism), light horror/unease, sexism (from a minor, non-canon character), reader and König are both in their 20s. virgin!König -> smut, unprotected piv.

notes: listen…. I was raised catholic but simply do not remember most of my life in the church. take this as a silly fairytale instead of simmering on the religion bits. <3 reader is implied to be a virgin too but we’re not harping on that who cares.

wc: 10k.

You haven’t had it easy, but seeing the angel wander into the cathedral with purple and yellow stains painting his cheeks, his throat, is safe harbor. Oil on canvas to burrow in like booklice. You like the way he takes the front pew, doesn’t hide himself despite the horror that’s been made of his face; tempts god by raising a hand up to press on the bruises, shivers from the pain. His brow pinches when his gaze drifts upwards, as if to think: You allowed this, look at it!

Most days, he doesn’t pay attention to the sermon, his hands consistently prod at his face or twitch someplace bedded down in the fleece lining of the pocket of his hoodie, always dark green or black. You’re not paying attention, either. You could fall into that absent stare easily, find yourself lost in whichever world bathed in static and hellfire that he’s dreaming up.

The Father is wary of him, no doubt. The man fidgets constantly in his place, toying with the unseen thing in his pocket whilst the priest prattles on about the Holy Mother and the blood of a son she watched led away to slaughter. The angel seems to only display intrigue when preaching shifts to mentions of the wrath of god, of sin, of Hell, as if he knows he’s bound for all of it. Heaven’s not spotless, either, full of cobwebs where God exonerates his wrath.

Sitting beside him is unheard of, the other parishioners stay away, whispering behind upheld palms that ‘there’s just something wrong with him’, but you choose to move from your pew to place yourself at his side, crossing the rows of curious gossips with careful strides as you approach his seat. The wooden bench creaks when he tenses, and you can feel his eyes dart to your form while you remain facing forward, but not a word is spoken during service nor after.

You make a habit of sitting next to him each time he wanders into the church with his fresh bruises. A few weeks of this and he comes back with a gash striped down from below his right eye to his jaw, an ugly maroon trail. He makes a point to sit on the opposite end of the bench that day, and you’re left to stew in the rejection that your attempts at providing your comfort and your friendship have failed.

“What happened to you?” Your voice comes out as a mere squeak, staring up at that horrid cut once the sermon has concluded. You’ve got him cornered between the floral dress cloaking you and the wooden bench brushing against the backs of his knees. It’s almost endearing how the sight of a woman speaking to him, caging him in like this makes him panic, his lips part and his eyes dart.

His chest heaves as a sigh leaves him once his head is angled away, eyes staring at the stained glass just over your shoulder.

“Accident.”

It’s said so simply that one wouldn’t believe it to be a lie if he were simply a voice, rather than a fully grown man cowering in your presence. For half a moment, you wonder his age before a response comes to mind. Assuredly he must be like you, mid-twenties and despondent, he comes here all alone, but you never see him around town. It dawns on you then, that the man probably still lives with his parents, maybe they force their fallen angel to attend church just to be rid of him for a few hours.

“Looks bad.” The response isn’t an insult, but you can hear the way his breath is hissed through his teeth, see the way his jaw tightens as though he took it as one.

“Es tut mer leid,” is all he says in reply.

You take a step back, keeping your eyes on him as you fold your arms behind your dress innocently. The other parishioners have long since fled by now, dusted off their sins like crumbs from their hands and passed the doors of the cathedral with sideways glances at the mismatched two still stood before the altar. You get the sense that maybe you’re the only sinner left in this place when König nervously meanders a step away, but when he walks several stunted strides away, stops to give you a glance over the shoulder, that weight rapidly disappears.

His expression shifts, somber and yearning for something that he can’t bring himself to say before he turns away and leaves you to mull in the disaster of your first conversation.

You begin to worry when he stops showing up for homilies, several weeks of sitting alone on their shared pew. Mass is no different, he remains a distant phantom. The cause for his accident could have very well been the cause for a life ended too soon and you worry yourself sick, shifting in your seat until the courage to ask if anyone knows his address is ripped from your tongue. The answer comes relatively easy, coupled with a flighty look from an older woman who claimed to have seen him seated in the front yard of some decaying home, shooting at a barrel with some gun you almost dare to wonder if he entirely, legally owned.

Despite your better judgement you find yourself staring blankly at his front door an hour later, clutching a brown, paper bag full of goodies from the local bakery for him. The muffled shouting from within keeps you from knocking, the voices of two men in some uproarious vocal war seeping out in whispers through layers of insulation and wall. You feel like a terrified animal, rooted in place as you try to make out the cause for such anger within. The dull thud of flesh meeting flesh pulls you back to reality in such a rapid fall, your knuckles wrap at the door immediately. It all falls silent inside, and a part of you is left fearing for your own safety there, as if those words and furious blows would be focused on you for even daring to bring this angelic stranger a slice of raspberry danish and a blue velvet cupcake.

The door swings open with the whine of hinges that likely have never been oiled, and König has never looked worse. His face looks sickly from bruising, the gash partially healed yet split from a fresh blow readily seeping blood against his thick fingers pressed to his cheek. Your chest fills with a rage you’ve never known and you feels your fingernails curl into the bag like claws, ready to push past this weathered angel and beat the Devil himself with your bare hands.

Instead, you smile at him.

“I brought you something.” You hold up the bag to him, and you’re grateful that he accepts it without asking why you bothered at all or how you even found this accursed pocket of Hell.

“Danke.”

He shifts a little in place as he opens the gift, and though he could not bring himself to smile, the way his larimar eyes seem to swim a little displays his gratitude where words fail him.

A part of you might even pay the smallest bit of gratitude to the fact that he doesn’t mention just went on inside there. Though your eyes search his with blatant curiosity, he turns away each time, allowing the words to remain unsaid. You don’t pry, it’s not your place. You know treading here was not your place either. Angels don’t haunt you like stalking predators, they haunt you with a call, a silent song. Fate seemed a ridiculous concept, but you’re drawn to his very presence as you have been since the moment you first laid eyes on him.

You know you’ve finally won his friendship when you find yourself across from him at a picnic table with a coffee he purchased for you in hand. It’s not how you would have ordered it, some overly sugary thing nearly spilling out with whipped cream and caramel, but it suits what you’re feeling. You ignore the taste, sated enough by a conversation that comes so easily between the two of you that you feel you’ve known him for far longer.

König is actually rather teasing and boastful when he isn’t being questioned about his appearance or what goes on in his family home. He tells you of his dream of becoming a recon sniper with ease, and how the Austrian military denied him despite how ‘perfekt’ he was for the role.

You listen intently as he carries the conversation forward, tells you about his rifle, right down to explaining the anatomy of such a thing.

“Scheisse, you don’t care.” He breathes a laugh too soft for a man his stature after he speaks, wiping away a bit of icing from his bottom lip with the knuckle of his index.

“Yes, I do!”

“Nein, nein, girls don’t play with guns.”

So, maybe he’s a little old fashioned and odd, but his voice is sweet like spiced honey, and you couldn’t fathom any place you would rather spend a gloomy afternoon than seated across from him.

“I bet I could be a better sniper than you,” you jest, taking a sip from your coffee with a little grin on your face when you note the slight furrow of his dark brows and the challenging flicker in his eyes.

His face softens as quickly as that surge of determination had come, taking to look you over with a newfound appreciation in his stare instead.

“I could teach you.”

You spend a moment explaining that you were simply kidding, and his eyes light up as a tinge of red seeps into the mottled colors of a sky in the midst of a storm across his pale cheeks. Like the first break of sun when the deafening rain finally falls to a calming drizzle.

“Shouldn’t you know how to protect yourself, though?” He asks, sheepishly turning his head away, focusing his gaze on fallen leaves instead of you. Extinguishing your own steadfast gaze is difficult, when you find yourself further captivated by the man in front of you. Everything about him is enigmatic; even the sparse glimpses into his life he’s offered to you leave more questions than answers.

“Maybe.” You shrug absently as you lower the styrofoam cup back to the table, hands curled around it.

He turns back to you then, slipping a hand into his pocket to fish out a butterfly knife, latch closed around the shiny handle. It’s the very same color of his eyes, barely a quiet blue, though the blade itself is wicked steel, expertly sharpened. You ogle it in your hands for a moment, flicking it open before he swiftly takes your wrist and firmly shakes his head.

“Careful,” he gruffs as he retrieves it, brushing over your fingertips as the blade is taken back into his large hand. He dutifully shows you how to twirl it, performing a series of little tricks without even having to look at the weapon in his hands. The blade’s dance is swift and graceful, not one cut sullies his fingers. His chest puffs in pride when he notices the way your eyes try to keep up with the steel, and the tricks become more elaborate.

“Can I try?”

“Nein… let me show you how to use it first. Bitte.”

With a nod, you find yourself being led away deeper into the park, leaves crunching under the toe of the man’s boots just in front of you. Assuredly, you shouldn’t be so trusting of a titan with a weapon, especially after hearing the violence going on within his own dwelling, yet you don’t question yourself. He fills lapses of silence with a soft hum, likely some song he knows from his homeland, it’s a pretty tune coming from him. The cadence of his voice is something that sets your mind at ease when he does speak— always a rasp with a nearly giddy lilt to it. It’s pretty.

The trail leads you both down to a fallen tree, the trunk is thick and deteriorating, bark springing up with succulent, golden folds of what he tells you to be laetiporus. König guides you down to your knees with a gentle press against the back of your neck, the large hand is shaking when his calloused fingers meet your flesh. He descends next to you and places the blade in your hands once more, guiding you with a patient nudges to your wrist. The base of the fungus is gingerly cut with each metered motion from you both, and eventually a large clump of it falls free right into the lap of your dress.

“Not the best for foraging, but…”

“I like it,” you chime with a smile, marveling at the little blade in your hand before your gaze settles to the cluster resting on your lap. “What do we do with this though?”

König shrugs, lifting the cluster of mushrooms to your face, clutching it as though it were a bouquet of flowers with a wolfish grin on his face.

“Eat it.”

“It’s dirty, you eat it.”

Those broad shoulders shrug again as he peels a bit of it off and shoves it between his lips, chewing the filthy things several times before swallowing it down. Your nose scrunches in feigned disgust, before a laugh leaves your lips at the crooked grin he gives you in answer.

“That’s so gross, König!”

It’s possible that he’s been yearning for someone’s focus to shift upon him like this, not in anger or disgust, but something far more gentle. He lets you keep his knife, and the rest of the afternoon is spent filled with comfortable conversation as you wander around the forest together. When the sun begins to set, you actually find yourself a bit disappointed that he doesn’t suggest a bout of stargazing or something more.

It’s all felt too natural to let go of so soon, and you’ve no idea when you’ll see him again. A seed of warmth takes root in your chest when he walks you back to your home. The friendship is something you’ve both needed it seems, because his smile doesn’t even falter when he leaves you at the door to retreat back to the horrible place that he calls home.

— ཐིཋྀ —

You’re sick the next Sunday. A small cold, nothing worthy of fretting too much over. Over the counter medicine does the trick to keep you somewhat comfortable as you lie back against the sofa, ample pillows and blankets surrounding you. There are chores begging for your attention: the dishes stacked in the sink, a laundry basket full to the brim, and you can’t recall when the last time that you vacuumed was. A few days of forgetting and these things overlap into a miserable, tedious pile.

You wish you weren’t so quick to call blame to one particular reason.

Spending time with the angel has left you carrying a weight you’re not certain you can continue to bare. In fact, your cold may have come from fearing for his safety. Whatever ghouls he keeps locked up in that house, tormenting him endlessly… it’s difficult to keep yourself together when you haven’t seen him in days. He could very well be dead. There’s some comfort in knowing that he knew how to protect himself; he had shown you, and his stature was undeniable evidence of such. It just doesn’t feel enough without the physical proof.

He allowed himself to be hurt anyway. It was strange. Some people were simply difficult to comprehend, and you didn’t even begin to know how to unravel the strange spool that’s rolled into your life now.

Especially not when realization hits and you come to terms with one simple fact: You miss König. His eyes, his strange interests, even the overly-sweet drink he purchased for you— you find yourself missing all of it; the light and the darkness. He knows where you live; he walked you home, and yet, he hasn’t stopped by. You imagine it must be that you merely misread the supposed closeness. It didn’t matter. König was just an acquaintance, after all.

You take your mind off of him by turning on the television, a hand rested over your aching head and the other thumbing at the remote in search for anything that could hold your attention longer than a few seconds. The town is small and the news is never interesting; a traffic jam on a road you’ve never traveled, a safe at the grocery store, the sorts of things that come as nothing more than a buzzing to fill the empty air. Focusing on a movie sounded far too tedious, too. Eventually you give up, turning the television off and tilting your head back to stare up at the ceiling, all white and empty.

The bell tolls again, it’s ringing far softer now from within the walls of your home, drawing your attention back to the woods— to König. Gentle chiming is a strange thing to remind you of the bloodied titan. It exudes a sense of peace, like the safety of church bells. You feel your conscious slipping, curled into yourself there as your eyes flutter shut.

Only, the calm is short lived. A knock comes only minutes later, the soft graze of knuckles against your door as though whoever lurks outside didn’t actually want to disturb you too terribly. After a fifth knock, you notice they’re not leaving. It was probably best to answer sooner rather than later so you might be left to your sulky slumber.

It takes a moment to gather your bearings and straighten yourself out enough for company. Your head is still aching terribly, brain fogged by the weight of your sickness. When the latch of the lock clicks and you haphazardly swing your door open, you’re met with the view of a broad chest covered in black.

“König?” You murmur, raising your head to look up at him. It’s not the sight of his face that you’re met with, only his eyes visible beneath the black fabric concealing him. The remains of an old t-shirt, and you had your doubts that whatever he had hidden beneath it could be any more intimidating than he looks now.

“Es tut mer leid,” he huffs, his voice a bit tight as he stares down at you, pupils slightly dilated and irises flicking from your face to the room just behind you. He looks a total contrast to you, unable to help the slight upturn of your lips from just the sight of him. Perhaps he had missed you, too. “Can I come in?”

Again, you should be apprehensive, but in the end you step aside and gesture for him to enter. He readily obliges, stepping past you as he ducks beneath the door frame and walks a bit stiffly to the center of the room.

“You alright?” You manage, shutting the door behind you and leaning against the wood. The flutter in your chest makes it difficult not to break into a more obvious smile— you’re happy he’s here, even in such a sorry state.

“Ja, just…” König pauses for a moment before taking to the sofa, seeming so much smaller than he truly is when he finally seats himself. “You know Lukas?”

Lukas, a parishioner. The man with the ever-present smirk on his face. You had seen him before, spoken to him in passing a time or two. He wasn’t particularly pleasant. You had even heard him join in with the others, commenting on König’s appearance— a bully and a gossip, no different from most of the others. The man couldn’t have been any younger than you or König, still, he had all of the maturity of a teenager.

“Yes?”

“They kicked me out because of him.”

You tilt your head, furrowing your brow in confusion. It wasn’t like the church to turn anyone away, especially not one who had been a part of the congregation for as long as König had. Your bewilderment spurs him to continue.

“At the cathedral.”

“I got that,” you hum out a bit hoarsely as you pad over to sit on the couch, opposite of him. The pitiful look he shoots you then, through the holes in his makeshift mask makes him look like little more than a pleading puppy, begging for comfort that he would never actually request. “It’s alright, König.”

“Nein… I will not get to see you as much.”

If König were not a grown man wearing an ominous veil over his face, you would almost dare to think he was pouting. It’s ridiculous, but it warms your heart that he cares; he enjoys the time spent with you just as much as you did. Perhaps more, if what you’ve gathered about him supplied any hints. He didn’t seem to have anyone at all— only you.

What the church won't tell you is that angels hurt sometimes, too. The Father will tell you that they're The Lord's army, just as impervious to bullets as they are to temptations. With an abundance of wings and eyes, they are such fragile things… how could they truly be invincible? Unlike the seraphim thriving in a heaven far beyond your reach, or the battered angel seated beside you, you won't deny yourself a reprieve or a request for comfort.

“We could just make our Sundays for us, yeah?” You don’t think to stop yourself when you extend the offer to him. The way his eyes seem to light up then is nothing short of a burning ember. Missing tedious sermons couldn’t be that sinful. God could turn the other cheek for now, you thought.

“I would like that.”

You hum in response, reaching for the little bottle of ibuprofen on the coffee table as that ache in your head begins to throb again. König’s eyes track you the entire time, shoulders slumping and eyes narrowing when he pieces it together.

“You don’t feel well..,” he says sternly, already rising to his feet to explore your home before a protest can even leave your lips. You hear the sounds of cabinets being flung open in the kitchen, the refrigerator flung open before he returns to kneel at your side with a glass of water. You weakly fumble with the lid of the bottle, offering him your thanks as he holds the cup out for you. Childproof lids are a pain, clicking incessantly rather than just opening when you need them to; each second feels like an hour passing as he stares at you like the strangest little creature he’s ever laid eyes on.

You feel your face warm in embarrassment when he sets the glass aside and pries the bottle from your hands, opening it up with ease before slipping two of the pills in your waiting palm. You down the medicine with a sip of water, nearly choking on it when he raises his hand to your forehead and gently presses against it to check your temperature.

“I’m fine, König,” you huff out, playfully batting at his hand. He remains insistent, not drawing away until you assume he’s convinced you aren’t feverish. “It’s just a cold.”

Your angel has never seemed sweeter than now, with worry painted clear in his blue eyes. He remains quiet, lost in thought for a moment before gently pressing you back against the couch with the press of his fingertips against your shoulder. The throw blanket is tucked over you in an instant. If the thought had occurred to you before, you imagined he would likely be rather clumsy when caring for another, and yet this all feels practiced. He’s told you he’s killed, in the military, yet you couldn’t imagine such gentle hands doing anything of the sort now as you curl up with a mumbled, “Thank you.”

“Sleep.”

You didn’t want him to leave. Impulsivity is enough of an excuse to take his hand, intertwine your fingers. He doesn’t pull away, not until your eyes close and sleep takes you once more. Only then does he leave your side and your home, locking the door behind him.

— ཐིཋྀ —

“Yeah… he said he saw a demon in there. All shadow.”

“Come on… that’s a lie. You know he was just scared!”

“I don’t know, man. I don’t think he would lie about something like that!”

You’re not trying to eavesdrop. It’s just that teenagers are never keen on keeping their voices down, at least not around here, it seemed. You’re already ten minutes late, having promised König you would meet him at the coffee shop at noon. You don’t have time to be standing around listening to children chittering about town myths. Especially not ones that make you feel so uneasy.

When you had heard them, they were always about the haunted church tucked far away from prying eyes, hidden somewhere in the forest circling the town. No one knew where it was for certain, but many claimed to have wandered there. None of those stories really held any weight; there were no pictures or other fragments of evidence, just voices. The only thing that made those tales seem believable was the bell. You had heard stories about it since you were a child. They ranged from seeing specters, to smelling perfume wafting about in the small graveyard supposedly next to it with no one else around, and even a strange one about finding a corpse there.

Seeing a demon was a new one.

You supposed that someone or something had to be ringing that bell at the odd hours during the day and throughout the night. It was never on time, always several minutes after the beginning of an hour had begun. The thought was a little eerie, and if you thought too hard about it— a little sad. Picturing some poor lost soul stuck there for an eternity, damned to ring a cursed bell only for no one to ever come. In retrospect, it really was no wonder why it reminded you just a bit of him; damned to haunt this town and return time and time again to his own personal Hell.

When the bell chimes again, the children take off towards the noise, leaving you alone on an empty street. Their shouts about how they were going to find that demon and chase it out echo until they’re too far away to make sense of the rest of the conversation.

Your heart feels a bit torn. It was best to leave things like that alone, but… the poor thing must have been lonely, lonely like him.

Maybe it’s a sign from God, as if to remind you of how you’re treading deeper into the dark with every passing Sunday.

You haven’t attended mass since you and König started hanging out. You consider that it’s your own guilt spurring you to fear this unknown thing lurking out in the woods, if it even existed at all. There was something about forsaking a religion you had grown up with for a man you had only just met that was both exciting and heartbreaking.

The walk to the coffee shop feels almost unbearable, your steps sluggish, yet the second you make it inside with the little bell chiming above your head you’re put at ease. König hadn’t taken your tardiness as initiative to leave. The man was tucked in the far corner of the shop, seated at a table too small with his own drink and yours before him.

“No hood today?” You ask as you approach, staring at his scarred face in reverie. The cut below his eye had mostly healed, and you don’t note any new bruising.

He shakes his head with a little smile, gesturing for you to take a seat— not across from him but at his side.

“Do you want me to wear it?” He asks once you’ve taken your seat.

“No, I like seeing you.”

König is handsome. The realization dawns on you, sharp and searing like a bolt of thunder when he flashes you a lazy smile, propping his elbow up on the table to rest his cheek against his open palm.

To quell your sudden embarrassment, calm the warmth pooling along your cheeks, you tell König about what you had heard on your way here. He listens in silence as you prattle on about the haunted church that no one has ever truly found, about the demon lurking in its depths. It sounds silly, even to your own ears as you recount the ridiculous myth you had heard in passing, but König looks a bit more rigid with each word you breathe out.

When you finish, he slowly shakes his head, eyes focused on the door as you take a sip of your coffee.

“You don’t really believe that,” he says.

“‘Course not. I just thought it was interesting...”

“Do you want to see it?”

You pause for a moment, considering the offer. Perhaps with König there you would feel safe, sate your curiosity and enjoy a little adventure as well. You still had the butterfly knife he had given to you, too. Your own little token of protection, and if that failed you would still have an angel at your side. Maybe he would teach you those intricate little dances on the trek there, hold your hand when you found yourself too afraid to brave whatever may come. If you couldn’t find the place at all then that would be nothing more than a nice memory to look back on.

“I think so.” The thought of feeling his warm hand in your own again is enough to spur you on. That feeling may have been more terrifying than any demon at all.

“We will go tonight then. I know where it is.”

“Oh… that soon?”

König gives your shoulder a playful, gentle nudge.

“Ja. I’ll take you.”

— ཐིཋྀ —

It’s not a date.

It’s a misadventure.

Still, you find yourself preparing for it as though it were a date. You bother with a stick of mascara and a bit of lip oil, a dress just slightly more revealing than the ones you wore to service. You tell yourself that you’re dressing up for the memory, not for the angel. That doesn’t stop you from ogling yourself in the mirror, tugging down your dress just a bit so it fits over your cleavage in a way that seems appealing.

You imagine the Holy Mother would probably chide you well if she were to step down from Heaven and see you now, tell you to remain chaste and pure until your wedding night. Oddly enough, it doesn’t tear you up with guilt— it only makes you giggle a bit as you lift the hem of your dress and twirl in place.

It isn’t a date, it’s the least romantic thing you could think of, but he’s coming to whisk you away into the night and it feels like one.

König, gentleman that he seems to be, doesn’t keep you waiting either. You both had settled on going right as the sun began to set after you had finished your coffee and informed him that you needed to finish a few chores and get ready before going on a night long endeavor. Just as the light outside began to turn to a pumpkin glow you hear the knock at the door. It’s louder than the last time he came by— he’s excited too, you can feel it without even gazing upon him.

You take your jacket, patting the pocket to ensure the knife is in its proper place before bounding toward the door, a skip in each step. Tonight would be special, sweet, and tender; it would be all of the things you had repressed since you first saw him.

As you turn the knob and pull it inward, the man hardly has the courtesy to hide his eagerness either. His face visibly flushes when he sees you, all dressed up just for him. You wished you could read his thoughts, have just one moment where you truly had some sort of telepathic ability as you once believed was possible when you were a child.

Graciously, as the two of you begin to venture out towards the woods, with you trying to match his lengthy strides as you walk side-by-side, you don’t need any telepathy.

“You are so pretty,” König mumbles, facing forward rather than looking directly at you. His voice is the quietest you had ever heard it now, barely above a whisper.

If you had the courage to kiss him right then, you would have reached for his scarred face and peppered a dozen over every mark, held him like that until his cheeks went up in flames.

“So are you,” you huff out instead.

Though he doesn’t outright call you a liar, something tells you that he doesn’t believe the words you’ve spoken. The angel falls silent, doesn’t turn to you and merely continues to lead you further out as the sky swells with a brilliant purple, the silhouette of a crescent moon peaking out from high up above. You would tell him a million times if it would make him believe you, then. He doesn’t fiddle with a concealed blade in his pocket around you, and together, he seems so much less lonesome and battered. You know that he’s comfortable with you; his discomfort stems from somewhere within, something you couldn’t reach to pry away from him.

You believe that you’re patient. You could bear anything he had to offer, good or bad; you would accept the burdens just as readily as the gifts— knives and the taste of sugar on your tongue.

The streets of the town aren’t as quiet tonight, and though there are no children with their silly stories idling about, you recognize the voice of a man a few meters off. When you look away from the tree line in the distance, your gaze settles on Lukas leaned up against the wall of the old antique shop. The place hadn’t been touched in ages, yet baubles and little porcelain dolls all covered in a generous layer of dust still lined the shelves in the window. His cell phone is propped between his shoulder and his cheek as he speaks, until his green eyes settle on König who halts in place at your side.

You know that your fantasy of a perfect evening is ruined the moment Lukas rushes a goodbye to whoever was on the receiving end of that call and slips his phone into the pocket of his coat.

“What’s going on here?”

The man is no demon, but he’s arrogant and cruel like one; he sounds enough like one when he laughs in your direction— looks enough like one when he makes a cupping motion before his chest as if to signify your breasts.

König doesn’t respond, but he steps in front of you, shielding you behind him as though you’re a little lamb in need of a snarling maw to keep you protected. You don’t need him to protect you, not truly. You aren’t a little girl, nor are you the one that shows their face covered in a mask of pain.

You’re finally getting a glimpse, a little look at what he must face every time he dares to cross paths with another person.

“We’re just taking a walk,” you say confidently, as you raise your hand to give König’s sleeve a little tug.

Let’s just go.

König doesn’t budge, unmoving like a gargoyle as he stares down at the smaller man before the both of you. His large hands clench at his sides and you see the flames of Hell flaring up in his blue eyes.

“Skipping mass to fuck the freak, is that right?” Lukas tuts with a roll of his eyes.

You’re amazed how Lukas displays not an ounce of fear— even you’re afraid. König wouldn’t hurt you, a part of you was certain, but the way he looked now was so unlike the passive, lost angel you had taken him to be. You take a step back, realizing that whatever comes to pass next is not something that you could stop even if you cling to König and plead for him to clear his mind and let this go.

They’re just words, despite the way they claw at your heart.

“Didn’t think you were such a slut.”

König is no longer much of an angel in your eyes when he leaps at the other man and lands a blow directly to his unsuspecting, smirking face. The sound is a loud, a horrible crack. It’s not like the soft thunder of sudden emotion, but one of a tooth being dislodged from the smaller man’s jaw. Lukas falls back, directly onto his backside against the hard sidewalk with a low groan of pain. His hands reach up to clutch at his face, bright blood trickling from his mouth like a stream.

It’s not enough. Not to König.

Your eyes squeeze shut the moment you hear another thud, and the third sends your running without so much as a thought in your head. The sounds of your own shallow breaths deafen the world around you, drowning out the violence taking place behind. You don’t consider where you’re headed, your eyes remain closed until the sounds of pavement against your soles dissipates and you’re left only with the thumps of your shoes hitting soil.

It’s dark when you stop to gather your bearings. The canopy of tree limbs, crooked and curved above you, blocking out any glimpse of even the moon. You can’t even see your hands when you hold them up in front of your face. When the adrenaline begins to subside, you feel foolish for running away— especially now that you find yourself horribly lost in an unfamiliar area. You turn back to look for the way that you had came, but see no lights from the town piercing through the dark.

You’re alone here, bathed in inky black, in perfect silence.

There are no footsteps chasing after you— König isn’t coming, not to save you. Not when you saw him for what he truly was, you imagined he read the accusation across your face when you ran away from him. It hurts you, too, to think of your lonely angel turned devil. How he saw the word ‘monster’ written in your eyes, wide with fear as you left him. You wondered if he could cry at all, if he was now.

You didn’t even care if Lukas was okay.

You doubted the man was even conscious anymore, lying limp in a puddle of his own blood. Whether he deserved it or not wasn’t for you to decide, but a part of you considers that he certainly did.

Trying to retrace the steps you took in flight proves futile, if anything you think you’ve only sunken further into the woods. Terribly lost and vulnerable, you reach for the knife in your pocket to try and regain some courage only to find it’s no longer there; you must have dropped it somewhere.

The walk feels aimless and fear creeps up on you from every small thing. A snap of a twig off in the distance sends you running once more despite the aching in your chest and limbs. The thought of being utterly helpless with no one in sight to lend their aid brings the sting of tears to your eyes.

Worst of all, however, is the bell.

Closer, it sounds dreadful. A haunting cacophony of noise roars above you, not far off. The bell is rung softly at first, a gentle pull of the rope held fast within it before it begins to grow more desperate, louder still. You swear you’ve turned in the opposite direction when you make it into a clearing, only to find yourself faced with the chapel of myth. The tower housing the dreadful bell is shrouded in shadow, and the damned thing actually has the courtesy to fall silent when you step past the last tufts of shrubbery to make it out into the open area.

The air feels colder here, suffocating almost, as though you’ve been doused in ice water. The silence is more dreadful than the pain emitted from Lukas’ bloody mouth, worse than the ringing of a bell or the droning of another dull sermon.

You don’t fall to pieces, but you do drop to your knees, sullying the ends of your dress with dirt as you stare up at the ominous, white building before you. No demons poke their heads from the windows, no whispering fills your ears from the graveyard mere paces away. It’s void and empty, and that feels somehow worse.

It would be a long night, but you knew wholeheartedly you were not going to find your way home without the sun to guide you. Catching a glimpse of your flesh in the dim light reveals a menagerie of small cuts and bruises, flesh marred from scraping tree limbs and slamming into broad trunks in the darkness.

There was no way that you were sleeping, despite the way you ached for rest. Even blinking made you feel vulnerable and exposed here. This was not an unholy place, but perhaps the most sacred you had ever lain eyes on. It was untouched and wild, even the descriptions of angels written in scripture seemed less so.

You find your footing for long enough to seat yourself at the side of the small building, your head rested against the wall as you draw your knees up to your chest. The sound of your own breath fills the silence in the air, but you don’t feel alone anymore. It’s paranoia and you know it, there’s no way such a humble place could be haunted. Still, the feeling of being watched causes your skin to prickle, and you long more than ever for König’s knife to be fitted between your fingers.

It’s when the sounds of footsteps draw near that you lose all composure. Somewhere off to your right, something was walking towards you— too quick and heavy to be a curious animal.

You rise to your feet in haste and go to the only place you can think of to find sanctuary— directly into the old church, slamming the heavy wooden door behind you. It’s empty inside, apart from an overturned desk and a few chairs you can make out from the dim light leaking through the window. Everything is bathed in dust and it smells nauseatingly sweet and sour, like cobwebs and musk, a combination that does little to set you at ease.

Though the room is small and empty, several doors and a small hallway are off to the back and you imagine the demon leering at you from one of them, just out of sight as you stumble to crouch behind the altar.

You don’t remember when last you prayed, and you don’t bother with it now, either. A prayer wouldn’t save you from whatever horrid thing come crawling out of the woods hunting for you. As if sensing your defeat, the door begins to creak open, the hinges whining as the godforsaken beast began to lumber inside, just as the bell strikes up again.

You swear you can hear the rapid beating of your heart above all other noise, and though you wish for nothing more than to squeeze your eyelids shut and bathe out the sight in nothing but dark, you can’t look away.

The demon is impossibly tall, shrouded entirely in shadow just as the children had said. Its eyes don’t glow and you can’t catch sight of fangs or claws, but it’s ominous enough as it slowly wanders inside, turning its head to look around the room— to look for you.

Your palm rests over your mouth to muffle your breathing, but to no avail. Panic swells within you, its grip tighter than any corset, any vise.

Until your eyes adjust to the dark figure properly. The damned thing is nothing but familiar, comforting even. No demon could ever make you feel as warm as an angel. Your vision fills with unshed tears, relief and regret overpowering any lingering dread.

The demon is not some screeching beast that clawed its way from Hell at all, only…

“König…” You breathe out quietly as you drop your hands to the wooden floor below you and slowly crawl forward. His shrouded head cocks in your direction, and if not for his stature it may have been even cute the way he rushes toward you; thundering steps as the angel no longer walks, but runs in your direction with his arms outstretched.

You lack the time to flinch back from the suddenness, because the moment he reaches you, you’re pulled into a pair of thick arms, shaking as they curl around you tightly. Your face presses into his chest as you circle your arms around his middle in turn.

“Let’s not do that again,” he rasps, pulling you somehow closer as his veiled chin rests against the top of you head. “I am sorry that I scared you… He just…”

“Stop apologizing,” you whisper as your fingers dig into the fabric of the dark hoodie. You didn’t want to hear another apology, not from him; English or German it mattered not, all that concerned you was the fact that the two of you were safe. Heaven and Hell all the same.

König sucks in a breath above you as he carefully pulls you to your feet. The bell and the darkness surrounding no longer brought you fear, only calm in such a protective hold.

He brings you back home, carrying your weight with ease as the forest disappears behind you. The hood over his face remains in place, and a part of you wonders why he even bothered to wear it at all. Perhaps not to scare you further if Lukas managed to open up that wound, or more likely so you wouldn’t have to see the face of a man so easily moved to violence at all.

König drops you off at the door without another word. The butterfly knife you had left behind someplace in the forest is slipped into your hand, the blue handle clasped shut. The weight no longer feels like that of a developing bond, but of parting.

The sting burrows into your heart instantly as he turns away from you. With his first step you find yourself grabbing at his arm, pulling him back with a desperation you had never known prior.

“Please stay,” you voice hoarsely, digging your fingernails into his sleeve. “We were supposed to… to spend tonight together.”

Not here, of course, but out there shivering in fear of the unknown. This doesn’t feel unfamiliar, you know what you’re doing when you offer to let a beast into your home, to lead him to your bedside and hold him throughout the night, and not a word of it slips out carrying the burdens of apprehension.

He turns toward you as his long fingers circle your wrist, thumb brushing against the back of your hand. If you could see his eyes now, you would find the creep of longing buried in a sea of blue.

“You want that?”

“Of course.”

Your bedroom seems even smaller with König inside of it, your bed even more so. The tumble beneath sheets is clumsy, and he has to bend his knees in a way that digs against your own flesh just to fit properly. The veil is cast off with only a muttered complaint in his mother tongue, something you could decipher without even knowing the words. You shush him with a kiss, sweet and gentle when his face is bared. A silent apology for your momentary fear, for your desperate sprint away, for making him wander into that cursed place to bring you home.

He reciprocates clumsily, all too eagerly searching beneath the sheet to grip at your waist as his tongue pries apart your lips. You break apart with a sigh, looking all the part of an adoring devotee as you melt against him, head tucked in the divide between his shoulder and the column of his neck.

“I thought you were afraid.” König sounds a bit dazed, fingers gently prodding against the fabric of your dress as his hand drifts lower to hold your hip. “I was worried.”

“I just don’t understand,” you answer in a soft murmur. “Why you…”

Your voice trails off as he pulls you closer again, his mouth pressed firmly against the crown of your head as he presses a kiss there. There’s a vulnerability to his touch, soft and tentative as his hand trails along your spine, resting just above your rear.

You could ask him anything now and you know that he would supply an answer, tell you any secret you would like to hear, but you don’t. In due time. Right now all that you craved was his closeness as you both drift off to sleep.

— ཐིཋྀ —

The haunted chapel is less so during the day. You haven’t heard the bell toll since last night, any lapse of conversation is filled with the chirping of birds or your own shy laughter each time you marvel up at the man seated next to you, his hand petting your hair, your cheek, anywhere he can touch. There’s nothing ominous about the place anymore, all filled with the bright colors from the stained glass windows as sunlight drifts through, painting the room of broken furniture and cobwebs with softness and warmth.

You’re lying on your back over a soft blanket you had thought to take along, the picnic basket König had pried from your hands on the walk here, once filled with pastries and fruit, now empty discarded at your side.

He tells you of why he stays in that house, deals with his father’s abuse— all for an ailing mother that’s never loved him, not as she should. König takes care of her, demonstrates love the best he knows how despite the absence of it during his childhood. You hadn’t asked, but he speaks more freely with each moment that’s passed since the kiss. It makes you somber, angry almost, that someone you saw such beauty in could be treated this way. You’re no savior, you can’t pull him free from it all, but to offer the angel a reprieve at all is enough. At least, to him.

He even assured you that Lukas, or ‘the arschloch’, was absolutely fine. A few loose teeth and a broken nose wouldn’t kill him, but maybe it would teach him to keep his gossiping mouth shut.

In turn, you tell him more about yourself. He kisses you after each description of hurt, cherishes you endlessly with that adoring gaze, gives you the cutest laugh in response to you telling him that in truth, you wouldn’t have cared if he had punched a hole straight through Lukas. You just hadn’t wanted him to get into trouble, to leave your side.

“You’re like an angel to me,” you murmur softly, your eyes closed as he lays next to you after the innumerable kisses you’ve shared this morning alone.

The words stifle him momentarily, and your eyelids open only to see the man staring back at you with a look of utter devotion. It’s torture for him, maybe, the way you supply him with every spoonful of sweetness he hadn’t tasted prior. He remains silent when his hand grazes the hem of your dress, and you nod to him in silent consent before the delicate fabric is swept up over your head and brought to rest on top of the basket forgotten.

Kisses are sweet like the coffee he gifts to you, but the ones he supplies now are far more urgent, warm like the steel of his knives after being caressed by rays of the sun for too long. It’s worship in a sense, the way he tastes the salt of your flesh from your neck to collarbone, and further to the space between your breasts. Your bra is pushed down, blue lace resting just below your sternum before your mind catches up to you.

“Should we..?” You ask, though it’s not the wrath of God that you fear, only that his clumsy kisses and bereft demeanor all signal that perhaps he didn’t have much, or any experience at all.

His pupils are dilated, eyes nearly black when he seizes the plush skin of your tit in a hand, the pad of his thumb brushing over your stiffened nipple.

“Ja… I want to..,” he mutters quietly, chin resting against your tummy as he gazes up at you. “Can I..?”

König looks cute like this— breathless and pleading, an unhinged sort of desire bared plainly in each word he breathes. Two decades and then some of never having this… and now you’re in his grasp, beneath the roof of this holy place.

“Yes,” you whisper to him, reaching lower to ghost your fingertips over his face, already flushing in color. He leans into your touch pressing a kiss to your palm before rearing back enough to slot his fingers along the hem of your white panties. His breath is almost ragged when he tugs them down enough, to reveal your soft mound and a grin creeps across his lips when he finds you already wet.

Your back arches when the back of his cold hand meets your core, petting you appreciatively there, pulling a shiver from you that only spurs him to carry on. The underwear is discarded in almost record time and the rip of the delicate lace tearing from your body echoes throughout the little chapel. A sulking protest nearly leaves your lips before a long finger is slipped into your slit. König probes at your entrance, gathering your slick onto his fingers with a soft groan that leaves you breathing shallowly. For all his inexperience, he’s eager; eager to prod at you until the digit finds that spongy, sweet spot that brings you to moan. His thumb toys with your clit with each mewl of encouragement spilling from your lips, gently flicking before circling over you until you’re tightening around his finger and soaking the blanket below.

“Are you close?,” he asks through a desperate pant, free hand pawing at the bulge in his trousers.

You shake your head weakly, thighs trembling as he thrusts his finger into you again. “Just feels good.”

That only spurs him to make you come, a second finger thrust into you so quickly you feel your mind go fuzzy. The sounds are obscene enough without the quickened pace of his hand. You’re teetering on the edge within mere moments, crying out his name only to be left entirely empty.

“Hah..” He gives you a little laugh when he realizes what he’s done, torn you away from a near perfect bliss. You stare at him dumbly, eyes half-lidded and lips parted as he deftly unbuckles his belt and pries his cock from his pants, flushed red and leaking headily. “I want to feel it…”

To his credit, he’s done well to prepare you for the girth of him, and you’re already too far gone to whine over the loss of relief. “Then feel it. Please.”

There’s no hesitation when he grinds his tip through the mess of slick painting your sex. When he finds that pressing himself against your clit wills you to grind your hips back against him he practically growls. He continues the motion several times before his patience entirely dissipates and the head of his thick cock is thrust into your entrance. König’s head drops against your chest at the sensation of your walls enveloping him, but he doesn’t growl or groan as you anticipated— he hisses, a gruff inhale of breath through gritted teeth.

You’ve fallen into rapture with the first thrust, filled entirely by the length and weight of his cock slowly spearing into you. He’s careful, forcing himself to continue languidly rather than taking you like you know he wished to, a starved man deprived for far, far too long.

König pulls back, grasping at your hips to tilt them upward, looking down at where your bodies connect. You know he’s in that dangerous state of pure euphoria, you feel it too as his cock twitches inside of you, tip hitting your cervix in a way that’s both nearly painful and causing you to leak further.

“You have.. an engel’s pussy,” he grits out.

It’s… embarrassing and ridiculous, his attempt at dirty talk, but despite your shame you pivot your hips forward, grinding against the mess you’re both making on the patch of dark hair above the heavy cock impaling you.

“König… please keep going.” Your voice a mere whine.

He obliges without a second wasted, pulling himself out to slam back into you. There’s no rhythm to his thrusts, not for a while, but each still manages to hit that spot inside of you that screams for his attention. König isn’t trying to be rough or selfish with you, keeping one hand grasping desperately to your hip as he plays with your clit with the other— pinching softly, deftly rolling his thumb over the sensitive bud; continuing his motions until you’re spasming beneath him, clutching him like a vise and weaving your fingers into his shirt to pull him down to you.

You moan into his mouth as he pushes his tongue past your lips, rolling it against your own in time with every rapidly faltering thrust. Your climax hits like a flash of blinding light with a mere circle of his thumb, accidentally in time with the head of his length brushing against that sweet spot. It’s not a hiss that König emits then, but a loud groan as you milk him entirely. He comes with you, cock throbbing as he stills entirely, every muscle in his body pulled taut as he floods your cunt with his seed. You hold him close to your breasts as his gasps soft, riding out the fleeting waves of pleasure until he wills himself to pull out and lie at your side.

“Mein Gott..,” he huffs, curling an arm over your waist. You giggle as you relax against him again, turning on your side to bury your face against his chest. Everything feels like the summer despite the chill outside, the winter doesn’t touch you here, nothing could. The stress of yesterdays melt away, the longing finally subsiding, too.

The world fades away there in that old church, cradling you both within its walls until the sun begins to set, golden light filtering into a hazy gray, before you both have to force yourselves to tear apart from the other and carry on home.

“Will you come by tomorrow?” You ask him quietly, as you stand at your doorstep, a hand lingering on the knob.

König nods, hugging you tightly from behind as he leans over to press a kiss to your cheek, another against your jaw as you smile sweetly at him.

“I will come every day, if you want me to.” He murmurs, drawing back just enough to search your expression for any signs of doubt, fear. You don’t feel either of those things, only love; as though being bonded to him like this is something hallow and sacred in its entirety. Nothing clandestine— you would run to the church right now with his hand in your own and make a mockery of all who have used their words to harm him if it would prove anything at all.

“I do want you to.”

He presses a kiss to your temple as he turns you around to face him, squeezing you a bit tighter when his hands find your hips. You kiss him in turn, leaving a trail of demure little kisses along the chest of his dark shirt.

In time, he wouldn’t have to leave at all. For now, the light the two of you share seems just enough.

#könig x reader #konig x reader #konig x you #könig x you #könig #konig #cod fanfiction #könig fanfiction #konig fanfiction #cod fanfic

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honeyedmiller · 1 year ago

Text

Checkmate | Joel Miller

pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

warnings: dbf!joel, age gap (reader is late 20’s, joel mid 40’s), reader is depicted as shorter than joel but otherwise has no other physical description (picture in mood board is for aesthetic purposes only), mutual pining, making out, smut (thigh riding, brief mentions of f oral receiving, unprotected [bc] piv, slight cockwarming, riding), reader’s best friend’s name is hailey, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

huge thank you to my baby @party-hearses for beta reading this for me. i love you to a million pieces 🖤

a/n: also this is my 900 follower celebration?! i still can’t wrap my head around the fact that so many people follow me and enjoy what i reblog / write. i love u all so, so much. i also feel kinda bad bc i hyped this one shot up a lot only for the smut to not be that descriptive, but this is more about joel and reader’s feelings than what they essentially do with each other. hope y’all still enjoy it :’)

word count: 4.6k

synopsis: you and your dad’s best friend play a dangerous game, and one of you ends up losing faster than you both anticipated.

dividers by the lovely @saradika

You wiped your sweaty brow on your forearm as you lugged a fifth box into your new apartment. You’d finally saved up enough to move out of your parent’s place. Your master’s degree had paid off after all, landing you a job in the heart of Austin, Texas. You were only a thirty minute drive from your parent’s house, which your mom totally loved. She couldn’t wait to help you decorate your place and hand you down the pots and pans that’d been in the family for quite some time.

The move wasn’t necessarily a tough one, because you were ready to get out of your parents’ hair. You all got along well, but you were dying for your own privacy and space that you could call your own. You couldn’t be happier now that you had it.

In the midst of the move, your dad insisted he’d phone his best buddy, Joel. You’d only heard about him a handful of times while you were away at college, and in the months you’d been back with your parents, your dad always went over to his house to watch sports or hang out. When the whole family was invited over to his house for barbecues, you always found yourself either already having other plans with your friends, or you were working. Today was finally the day you’d meet the mystery man that is Joel Miller.

And that’s when you saw him. Tall, broad, ruggedly handsome, body clad in an army green shirt that showcased his biceps and veiny forearms, dark jeans that showed off the muscle of his thick thighs, and scuffed up boots from plenty of days, weeks, hell–months of hard work that added an inch or two to his already towering height.

He must’ve been in his forties if you had to guess. His dark brown hair was dusted with slight specs of gray, the scruff on his jawline mirroring the hair on his head. His nose was strong, and was perfectly fitted with his face. He had dark brown eyes that were kind yet held some kind of sternness—a look that made your panties easily dampen. His mustache framed his lips that were pursed into a slight frown, and you couldn’t help but wonder what they’d feel like all over your body.

He looked at you just the same, all but hungry eyes roaming your body as he caught a glimpse of you for the first time. Like a damn deer caught in headlights.

He was your dad’s best friend?

Oh, you were truly, utterly, royally fucked.

You introduced yourself to him and he shook your hand, the calloused pads of his fingers meeting your soft skin sending a string of butterflies through your stomach.

You genuinely don’t think you’d ever been this attracted to someone at first glance.

After he and your dad helped you move all of your stuff into your new place, you’d concluded two things: one, Joel Miller was a man of very few words–at least, around you that is, and two: you were sure he was attracted to you just as you were to him.

Was it so wrong to want someone a little bit older? Perhaps not. What was wrong was that he’s your dad’s best friend. You shouldn’t want someone like that. Someone you were absolutely sure could handle you in the best way possible.

About a month after you’d finally gotten settled into your apartment, you invited your best friend Hailey over a movie night and a glass of wine. You told her about your predicament, to which she couldn’t help but be the little devil on your shoulder and encourage you to go after Joel.

“Look, I know he’s your dad’s best friend n’ all, but what he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?” She questions, legs tucked underneath her body as her lips curl into a sly grin before she takes another sip of her wine.

“I mean yeah, but I’ve never done something like this before. An older man, who’s closely acquainted with my dad? I oughta be out of my damn mind.” You sigh, rubbing your temple.

“Live a little, babe. You’ve been a good kid to your parents your whole life. It’s time you do something for you for once and go after it. Make a subtle move on him next time. That might spice things up a bit.” She suggests, pursing her lips.

“You’re right. But if I make a move and it backfires, I’m completely fucked and I’m moving to the other side of the country.” You laugh exasperatingly.

She reaches over to pat your thigh softly. “Only one way to find out.”

You hadn’t seen Joel as of late, but you weren’t phased by it. It’d been a really busy couple of weeks at work, and you were joining your coworkers tonight for a celebratory t.g.i.f. drink.

Hailey was over at your apartment getting ready with you and you both were already two shots of tequila in. You weren’t much of a drinker, but truth be told, you needed this night out.

“So I’m either between this dress or this one.” You explain to Hailey, and she studies the options you held up for her to thoroughly inspect. It was either between a black satin mini dress with sparkly straps, or a strapless maroon bodycon dress

“This one,” She points at the black dress. “With your red kitten heels.”

You toss the maroon dress onto your bed and take the black one off of the hanger, changing into the dress after Hailey goes to pour herself another shot. You slip aforementioned heels on and give yourself a once over in your full body closet mirror, satisfied with your appearance.

You wanted to look and feel hot tonight, and it was safe to say you achieved just that. Maybe you’d pick up some hot guy at the bar tonight. He may not be no Mr. Miller, but anyone to take the tension of the past couple of weeks away would suffice.

You were applying one last layer of lipgloss when Hailey’s knuckles rapped on your door twice, head peeking into your bedroom.

“Uber’s here. Let’s go get fucked up.”

You laugh at her enthusiasm, hot on her trail as you locked up and headed down to your Uber.

The ride was only fifteen minutes before you pulled up to the bar that was already packed. You both slipped inside, spotting your coworkers at a table. They were laughing about something when you and Hailey walked up, and they all cheerily greeted you with hugs.

It wasn’t long before the DJ was playing some line dancing songs, and multiple people made their way to the dance floor to move their bodies. You and Hailey were the only ones left at the table as you laughed at your coworkers trying to keep up with the beat of the song.

“Mr. Hottie over there has been checking you out for some time now.” Hailey leaned into you, nudging your side with her elbow as she jutted her head toward a man at the bar.

You felt your body drained of warmth as you saw none other than Joel Miller standing at the end of the bar, sipping on his beer tentatively. His eyes were locked on you, and the stupid butterflies rumbled around in your stomach once more.

“Hailey, that’s him.” You say, swallowing thickly.

“Who?” She gives you a questioning look, the drinks she’s had tonight making her mind a bit fuzzy.

“My dad’s best friend. That’s Joel.” You say, and her eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“Oh, girl, if you don’t make your move I’ll force you to make one. He’s a fucking hunk.”

Your eyes trailed back over to him, taking in his appearance. He switched out the green t-shirt for a gray one, dark wash jeans, and the same boots he wore when he showed up to help you move into your place.

The way he was looking at you made you want to do extremely sinful things with him. Fuck. Now or never.

“I’ll be back.” You tell Hailey, and her expression brightens up and cheers you on as you slip off of your seat.

You saunter over to Joel, drink in hand, and you sip on it through the straw as you approach him. He looks down at you amused, eyes nearly black as he scans you from head to toe.

“You stalking me now, Mr. Miller?” You tease, leaning up against the bar top.

Joel scoffs a laugh and sips on his beer once more. “Y’think I don’t have something better to do with my time than to see where you are on a Friday night?” He retorts, but it wasn’t mean. You were sober enough to hear the hint of playfulness in his tone.

“Mm, not really.” You shrug, feigning an innocent smile up at him.

So you could be a brat. He bet he could fix that attitude in no time.

He chuckled at his own thoughts, finishing off his beer as he set the empty bottle down on the sticky bar top.

“You caught me, darlin’. Any woman as ravishing as you is worth stalkin’.” The slight curl of his lip made you smile. You sipped on your drink some more as you watched the patrons of the bar dancing to the current song. Your eyes avert back up to his gaze, and you step closer to him.

His eyes move down to your glossy lips wrapped around the straw, wishing so badly that your lips were wrapped around something else right at that moment.

“What brings you here tonight, Mr. Miller?” You ask, reaching a hand out to touch his bicep. His body goes rigid at your touch, and you fear you’ve gone too far so your hand immediately drops. Joel does a quick scan of the bar before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his sturdy body.

“My brother’s best friend’s birthday.” He shrugs, and you nod. You felt like a fucking hummingbird with how fast your heart was beating, and you were sure Joel could feel it with the close proximity between the two of you.

The air became thick and heavy. Your breathing accelerated, looking up at Joel and into his lust-clouded eyes. His grip on your waist tightened in the slightest, and you nearly whimpered as you felt his bulge through the denim fabric of his jeans.

“Joel.” Your voice was merely a whisper, and he smirked down at you.

“Care to line dance, darlin’?” He asked nonchalantly. Your eyebrows furrowed as disappointment shot through you. Were you reading the situation wrong?

“I don’t really know how.” You say, setting your now watered-down drink on the counter.

“I’ll teach you.” He shrugs, grabbing your hand and dragging you onto the dance floor. He showed you step by step how to move, but your mind was so hazy with lust that you could barely even focus.

It’d been months since someone touched you in an intimate way, and the burning need and desire was aflame through your body. All you could think about was Joel’s hands and tongue on you as you moaned his name. The thought nearly made you pout.

“You even listenin’ to me?” Joel pulls you out of your daydream, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. He was teasing and holding out on you and he knew it.

His face held pure amusement as he watched you squirm under his stare uncontrollably, fidgeting like a little kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to stop by.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” You sigh, walking back to the table Hailey was waiting at.

“What happened?” She asks, looking behind you at Joel who was burning a hole in the back of your body.

“No idea. Guess I’m not getting lucky after all.” You shrug with a disappointed huff of a laugh. You looked back to see if Joel was still there, but he seemed to have disappeared.

You grabbed your purse and made your way to the bar, leaning over it. The back of your dress rode your thighs significantly, barely covering your ass at this point. Before you could get the bartender’s attention again, you felt a hand on your shoulder pull you back and press you into their body. You were about to mouth off on this person before you realized it was Joel.

“Fuck, c’mon.” His hand slid down to your wrist, gently tugging it. You looked at Hailey as you started to follow Joel and pointed at him discreetly, and she gave you a thumbs up.

Joel led you out into the cool air of the night, immediately chilling your whole body. Goosebumps raised onto your skin as he led you to his truck, your heels clicking against the unevenly paved asphalt.

“What are you doing, Joel?” You ask as you stop in front of a dark truck.

“I’m about to give us what we both want.” He said before trapping your body against his truck and between both of his strong arms that landed on either side of you. You cocked an eyebrow up at him, eyes and lips glossy underneath the dim parking lot lights.

“Can’t believe I’m fuckin’ doin’ this.” Joel murmurs before leaning down, smashing his lips with yours. You moan softly into the kiss, carding your fingers into his longer locks. You give the ends a slight tug and he moans into your mouth. You feel the arousal pool in your panties and your untouched core starts to throb. You whine into the kiss, and Joel takes that as an opportunity for his tongue to invade your mouth.

He tastes like mint now, probably having popped an altoid in his mouth before coming back to get you from the bar. His hands travel downwards and find purchase on your thighs underneath the dress, rubbing circles into your soft skin. He starts to rut his hips into yours, the bulge in his jeans catching onto your clothed clit deliciously.

“Joel, please.” You choke out as his lips disconnect from yours, hot kisses traveling down your neck and onto your collarbone.

“Please what, baby?” He asks, voice raspy and muffled as he breathes against your neck.

“Need you. Fuck, please, just touch me.” You don’t care how desperate you sound to him at this moment. His touch left a trail of flames everywhere his hands landed, and you couldn’t get enough.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the back door of his truck, opening it and helping you slide in. He got in right after you, closing and locking the doors. Your chest was rapidly heaving up and down, trying to catch your breath from the intense moment.

Joel didn’t give you much leeway, though, because as soon as he spread his legs to get comfy in the backseat, he was pulling you on top of him. You closed the gap between you two this time, rutting your hips forward so your heat sat right on top of his bulging crotch. He groaned lowly, looking down to where your dress had ridden up. He saw your pink lace panties that you had on, and god were you grateful you chose to wear those tonight.

Joel hummed in appreciation as he slid his calloused hands up the smooth skin of your thighs, looking back up to meet your gaze. Your lipgloss was nearly gone off of your lips and onto Joel’s, and he had to admit he liked the sticky cherry flavor.

“Your daddy would kill me with his bare hands right now if he saw what I was doin’ with his darlin’ daughter.” Joel chuckles, shaking his head.

“That’s why he won’t find out,” You shrug. “Besides, I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions and decide what I want… and what I want is you, Mr. Miller.”

Joel raises an eyebrow and huffs a small laugh. “That right?” He questions, grip getting slightly tighter on the soft flesh of your thighs.

“Mhm.” You nod, hand cradling the back of his head.

“What we’re doin’—this is bad.” Joel chastised, mostly to himself.

“Relax, Joel. I won’t tell if you won’t.” You twirl the hair at the nape of his neck through your fingers, applying more pressure onto his groin. He grunts in response, adjusting himself slightly as the confinement of his jeans was nearly torturous at this point.

“Fine. But we’re endin’ this whole hookin’ up thing if anyone gets even the slightest bit suspicious.” He negotiates, and you nod.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Miller.”

Joel chuckles and shakes his head, leaning up to capture your lips into his once again. You hum against him, hands moving down to his chest as your nails scratch over the thin fabric of his shirt.

You start to grind yourself onto him again, and he groans once more before separating his lips from yours to mumble against them. “Use my thigh, baby.” He shifts you onto his left thigh, and you steady yourself on him by gripping his shoulders.

“I don’t wanna ruin your pants.” You sigh, the pressure of your clothed clit on his thick thigh already providing the tiniest bit of relief.

“I don’t give a shit about my pants, baby. Soak ‘em for all I care.” He presses his lips to your neck once more, and you shiver at the contact. You’re shy at first, not ever having gotten yourself off on someone’s thigh before.

Joel senses your hesitation, so he moves his hands back up to your hips and shifts them forward, causing your soaked cunt to glide along his jean-clad thigh.

You take over yourself, rocking your hips back and forth at a languid pace. Desperate moans are falling out of your mouth as you fist his shirt into your hands, feeling yourself so close already.

“Joel, feels so-so fucking good.” You whine, head dropping back. Your jaw goes slack and eyebrows thread together, picking the pace of your hips up.

“Yeah? Such a good fuckin’ girl, takin’ what she needs to get off.”

“I need you, Joel, please.”

Joel moved his hands to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans button to take his jeans off in the slightest, finally relieving his erection. You moaned at the sight of his thick cock, pre cum gathered at the tip. You brought your thumb to his slit, gathering the pre cum onto your finger before bringing it up to your mouth to gently suck on it.

Joel’s jaw ticked, resisting the urge to bend you over the back of his seat and fuck you senseless then and there. Luckily, he had a lot more restraint than he thought, because all he did was just stare at you sucking seductively on your thumb.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling both of his thighs now, and you grabbed his cock into your hand to give it a few slow tugs. Joel sucked in a breath at your touch, head being thrown back onto the headrest of the seat. You tugged your panties to the side before you ran the tip of his weeping cock through your slick folds, a lewd wetness sounding throughout the cab of the truck.

You moaned as Joel hissed at the contact. It’d been awhile since Joel had been with someone, so he prayed to whatever god was out there that he’d be able to last.

“C’mon baby, don’t be a fuckin’ tease.” Joel grunts, fingertips digging into your hips. You look down at him with half lidded eyes as you sank down onto his length without much resistance.

The stretch was fucking heavenly. Your lips parted as you puffed out a pant and sucked in a breath shortly after, reaching the hilt.

“So fucking big. Fuck.” You mewl, fingers digging into his shoulders for balance once more.

“Stay still for a little.” Joel’s voice was strained, sounding nearly pained as he choked out his words. You felt so good wrapped around him that he just wanted to appreciate your warmth.

Joel slid the sparkly straps of your dress down your shoulders, tugging down the neckline of your dress to reveal your breasts. His tongue darted out of his mouth to briefly wet his lips, large hands moving up to gently squeeze the soft flesh of your chest.

“So fuckin’ perfect.” Joel whispers, moving his head down to envelope one erect nipple into his mouth while his thumb and index finger toyed with the other. You moved one hand up his chest and to the back of his hair, threading your fingers through the thick locks once more as you pushed his face deeper into your pillowy flesh.

The feeling of his expert tongue and heavy cock in you was beginning to be too much. You needed him to move, or at least let you move. You weren’t above absolutely begging him until he gave in, but he seemed to have the same idea as his hips thrusted into you.

You took that as an initiative to move, so you began to slowly glide yourself up and down on him. You sucked in a sharp breath as the feeling of him repeatedly filling you made your legs shake. He took his mouth off of your swollen flesh to avert his gaze to yours, eyes locking as you moved up and down. He moved a hand down to generously rub at your aching clit, causing your cunt to deliciously clench around him.

“Gonna ruin this tight little pussy. Just you wait.” His voice is throaty and deep, sending shivers down your spine. The dangerous glint in his eye let you know that he was dead serious.

You wanted Joel Miller to ruin every other man for you.

That’s how this, the dangerous thing—the game—started.

You both were determined to win at something that wasn’t even tangible; something so lucrative to both of you that the consequences wouldn’t even fucking matter.

It didn’t matter as he took over and fucked his hips up into you at a brutal pace, causing you to orgasm violently on his cock within minutes. It didn’t matter when the windows of his truck fogged up and the drag of your fingertips adorned the glass. It didn’t matter when you reassured him he could cum in you because you were on birth control.

As months went on after that night at the bar, him fucking you up against the wall of his shower or pounding you into your bed or eating your pussy until you physically could not breathe anymore was all that dazed your mind.

Fuck the consequences.

None of it fucking mattered.

Because, over the months, Joel Miller was the kind of man you didn’t mind having in your bed after you two’ve fucked. You didn’t mind when he slept over, or when he wanted to be the little spoon, or when you both went out on dates like a normal couple would.

The euphoria of it all didn’t last forever, though. You knew it wouldn’t, but the heavy weight and reality of it all came crashing down on you one day when Joel was buried deep into your warm cunt, both of you teetering on the edge of a climax, when your dad came knocking on your front door. Pure panic seized your body and you had to make Joel hide in your closet like a fucking teenager.

That’s when you realized you both were way in over your head with this whole thing. Getting caught was going to be inevitable if it kept up like this.

You were eternally grateful that your dad was a man who didn’t hover. He left your apartment after fifteen minutes and when Joel came out from hiding, you told him that it was way too close and it was too risky to keep doing what you both wanted to never put a stop to. You’d silently promised yourself that was the last time with him.

Joel tried to argue against it, but you put your foot down. That is, until you got slightly buzzed one night and begged Joel to come fuck you. Truthfully, you didn’t even really need the sex from him. It was just a plus. You just enjoyed being around him so much that having him in some way, even if only physically, was to suffice.

Little did you know, he felt ten times stronger than what you felt. Joel Miller would worship the ground you walked on, if you allowed him to do so.

He was at your doorstep in no time, pushing you against the wall and kissing you with such neediness as if you’d disappear right beneath his fingertips. You were wearing one of his oversized t-shirts and a pair of panties to which Joel discarded immediately. His thick fingers rubbed against your slick heat, hips bucking to meet the languid pace he set.

Joel shouldn’t be here.

You promised yourself the last time would be the fucking last.

And yet, you found yourself willingly shoved up against the wall of your living room by none other than the man you swore you’d stay away from as he leaves hot, fervent kisses along the slope of your neck.

“Joel, we—fuck, we shouldn’t be doing this. We have to stop.”

“Yeah? Not what you were sayin’ when you were practically beggin’ me to fuck you again over the phone.” He grits. He sinks his fingers into your aching cunt, prying a strangled moan from your throat.

He’s frustrated with himself.

Frustrated that he so easily succumbed to you, allowing himself to wrap himself in the greedy need and carnal desire he had for you. Frustrated that you were twenty years younger than him, and frustrated that you should’ve been off limits.

You were supposed to be off limits, god damnit, but Joel Miller was a greedy fucking man. He just had to have you in a way that nobody else could.

He really didn’t blame your father if he strangled the man with his own bare hands if he ever found out what you two did behind his back, in secret, and for months at that.

Joel knew better.

He fucking knew better and still decided to get a taste, get a feel, fuck you like no other man had. Something his greed deliciously sunk its teeth into, allowing himself to indulge in the forbidden realm you offered to give him.

You knew better, too. But you did get one thing you wanted, after all.

You’d be a fucking liar if you didn’t admit that Joel Miller had officially ruined every other man for you.

The dangers of the game had sunk its teeth so deep into both of you. It was like the world’s most impossible chess match, and one of you was finally waiting for the other to say “checkmate.”

The thing is, Joel lost a long while ago.

He fucking lost the game.

He couldn’t stay away from you no matter how hard he tried, and when you called him begging him to fuck you tonight, his need for you practically drowned him in his weakness.

Joel Miller was not a weak man. You had him under a fucking spell that he couldn’t seem to reverse.

It’s like you were his fucking kryptonite.

He was the one that royally fucked in the end.

Joel wished he didn’t have these feelings that clawed at his fucking rib cage every time he glanced at you, some sort of animalistic creature trying to escape when you were under him, legs spread wide, your warmth wrapped around his cock as he buried himself in you.

Every single time he had you like that, had his lips on you, had you moaning his name like a prayer on Sunday mornings, saw your sweet smile, smelled your perfume that he loved so much, heard your contagious laugh, he knew he lost.

Checkmate.

tags: @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @amanitacowboy ; @holesandlividity ; @planet-marz1 ; @joelmillers-whore ; @cool-iguana ; @janaispunk ; @freakygothgirl ; @survivingandenduring ; @clawdee ; @danaispunk ; @kiwisbell ; @untamedheart81

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagines #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagine #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #dbf! joel smut #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal one shot

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saintmuses · 9 months ago

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❝𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙, 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙩❞

Pairing:

Emmett x Babysitter!Reader

Summary:

Emmett shouldn’t go into her bedroom, but he did.

Warning(s): SMUT. Age gap (Reader in her almost mid 20s and Emmett in his mid 30s). Reader does not share any scenes with him, but he’s fantasizing about her. Stealing a shirt and seeing something else. Handjob on Emmett’s part. Implied infidelity (emotionally? Since he hadn’t cheat on his wife physically?) Minors, DNI!

Word Count: 1.2k

The brick wall reverberated after a sledgehammer was knocked into it with such force it broke into chunks.

“A wrecking ball has a better chance than this.” As if Emmett was disgusted by how weak the metal tool is whenever it made an impact on the brick wall. He propped the tool next to the wall that was untouched.

His friend sighed, wiping the sweat off his brow. “Tell me about it, that’s why I asked for help.” He muttered before dropping the sledgehammer onto the floor. The tool clattered as it hit the ground.

Emmett lifted his dark t-shirt to wipe off the sweat that was dripping down his face. “Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s babysitting Sullivan Eobard’s kids right now while he’s testifying at the court.”

His eyebrows arched in surprise. “Oh, the one where his wife was brutally murdered?” He inquired as he walked over to the table where beer bottles were set up.

“Yeah,” his friend nodded, sighing. “Y/N said he did not kill his wife, and her gut says he didn’t, but there’s more to it than what he had mentioned to the court apparently.”

“Her gut is rarely wrong,” Emmett reminded him, taking a swig of fermented beer from the cool bottle before placing it back on the table. “I have to go to the bathroom, mind telling me where it is?”

“Sure, the one in living room isn’t working right now so use the bathroom upstairs.” He told him, gesturing the stairs that was down the hallway off the kitchen before lifting the sledgehammer by the handle.

“Alright, thanks man.”

Emmett just finished using the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he stepped out into the hallway.

His footsteps were soft as the boots hit the carpet; he observed the photos in frames on the walls as he passed by them. His eyes landed on the door that was slightly ajar from the doorframe. Out of curiosity, he peered in the bedroom after pushing the door open slightly.

He raked his eyes around the room, observing the knickknacks scattered on the dresser. He could tell it was his friend’s daughter because her room is very feminine and pristine especially her nightstands.

He froze when his eyes landed on the laundry hamper, lone in the corner beside the walk-in closet.

He shook his head, fighting the curiosity to peer inside the hamper.

No.

Before he could convince himself to leave the room, to return to downstairs to help to knock the rest of the brick wall down. he found himself standing in front of the laundry hamper, reaching for her thin white shirt.

He curled his fingers into the soft fabric, he knew it was worn overnight due to how strong the scent was wafting from the cloth.

He brought it to his nose, inhaling slowly to savor the scent, and it bombarded his brain into a slight frenzy as if his primitive self was itching to go and find her.

Bend her over and make her take his aching cock.

His eyes snapped open with a soft groan, not realizing he had his eyes closed. He then clenched his jaw when the urge to shove the shirt into the pocket of his jeans arose.

He looked down momentarily and froze at the sight of soft pink panties lying innocently on top of the clothes that were thrown in for a laundry day. It must’ve been under the shirt he’d just took out of the laundry hamper.

Fuck.

He could feel himself hardening at the sight, craning his neck backward as he inhaled sharply. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly as his jaw clenched.

No. No. N-fuck.

Exhaling as he ran his hand over the bulge in his denim pants before sitting down on her bed where the scent of her aroma radiated strongly. He grunted quietly, leaning back until his back met the pastel comforter of her bed.

Emmett knew his friend wouldn’t come up for a while since he could hear him starting the task again of trying to knock the brick wall down.

His fingers had a mind of their own when they gripped the buckle, minding the coldness from the metal as he pushed the leather from the miniature pin that held it in place before he pulled it out. Leaving it unbuckled, he then pushed the button through the opening.

He then tugged the metal zipper, hearing the metal grind against metal as he unzipped his jeans slowly.

He slid his hand, separating the fabric from his skin as he inhaled the aroma radiating from the soft thin sleepy t-shirt she wore.

“Y/N,” he grunted quietly in the room as he glided his fingers onto his dick, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he gripped the base, giving it a hard squeeze. It was primitive, but it was the only way he could handle without spilling too soon.

It was her hands he imagined pumping his cock, he hissed through his teeth at the intense sensation as he drew the head of his cock across the skin of his hand, painting his palm with his pre-cum. It caused his eyes to momentarily roll back in his head. His fist soon began moving erratically up and down. His harsh panting filled the silence of her room, his grunts coming deep from his chest. Fuck, he wanted her. To be inside her.

Her pretty eyes glistening in arousal. Wild in her desires as her body quivered for him. Aching for his touch, desperate for the warmth of his skin to press against her.

He groaned into the fabric clutching in his hand, fingers tightening around his thick girth. “Fuck!”

Having thoughts about her had made him extremely sensitive, shudders began to wrack his frame as he arched his hips slightly as he pushed his cock into his tight fist. Trying to mimic her cunt in his fantasy. Even though he had never experienced the warmth of her pussy, he knew for sure it would be heaven between her thighs.

He craved her, her presence is something he looked forward since he met her three years ago at his friend’s cookout. It was unfortunate she was his friend’s daughter and his babysitter for the boys. That he was still married because if he had met her while he was a free man, he wouldn’t hesitate to snatch her right up and make her his.

“Fuck. Fuck,” he mouthed, his jaw straining against the pressure of the pleasure trying to drown him.

The sensation of tingling running down his spine, the tightening in his balls as he chased his orgasm. He arched his back and his teeth sunk deep into his bottom lip piercing the skin as her name ripped from his lips.

 He shuddered as a burst of heightened pleasure made his vision go haywire. Thick spurts of his cum coated his hand and the fabric of his underwear as he continued to groan out his release.

“Fuck,” he scrubbed a hand over his face after releasing the t-shirt from his grip, defeated as he was trying to slow his breathing and calm his rapidly beating heart.

He was thirty-six years old and felt like a dirty old man while acting like a teenage boy dealing with a boner for the first time. However, he couldn’t help it when it came to Y/N.

His sweet girl.

#emmett x y/n #emmett x you #emmett x reader #a quiet place ii #cillian murphy x reader #a quiet place 2 #Emmett

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velvrei · 1 year ago

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Imagine Mike and reader are fighting the reader leaves which xause mike to start to loose his mind but Abby makes it her mission to get mike and reader back together.

this was originally a blurb but it got too long so i made it a fic!!

…

jokes aren’t funny

pairing : mike schmidt x reader

summary : mike and reader are in a relationship & they get into a fight and later into a rough patch. abby makes it her mission to get them back to being happy together.

warnings : fluff, slight angst (little sad parts), swearing

word count : 1k+

story under cut to avoid long scrolling!

you and abby were very alike. the two of you had similar thought processes, the same imaginary friends, you both liked to dance, that’s why it was perfect for her when you and mike started dating. she finally felt like someone understood her in a way only girls could.

so, you and abby formed a friendship. you’d play together, you’d babysit her while mike was at work, and it was going great. up until mike’s work schedule started to affect his mood and the time both of you spent together. him taking the nightshift made it difficult for you to spend any time together.

so, one day when mike came home, and abby was supposed to be sleeping, you had a talk to him about it. that talk, however, quickly turned into an argument.

“i don’t understand what the problem is?” mike reasoned, louder than intended. when his volume increased, so did yours, and now you both were practically screaming at each other, which was the first time you’d ever done so.

you sighed and rolled your eyes, “because you’re not trying to understand? maybe if you looked from my perspective you’d realize how horrible it is for me to talk to your little sister more than i talk to you! i love abby dearly but i need quality time with you too, mike! i’m your girlfriend!”

mike rolled his eyes, trying to keep them open sense he had no sleep for the past 20 hours and was extremely grumpy.

“i’m sure you can survive without seeing me, y/n! i know i can. i don’t need to see you everyday to function properly!” mike said, somewhat shouting then dramatically letting his head fall onto the dinning room table.

“am i just some kind of joke to you, mike?” you asked, your eyes starting to fill with tears. it didn’t matter that you were about to start your period, you still felt betrayed and felt like mike didn’t care about you as much as you did for him.

“now where the hell did you get that from?” mike shouted, “i never said that!” his voice was filled with anger and your words couldn’t help but grow his annoyance.

“that’s what it feels like, that’s what you’re implying.” you said, before grabbing your coat off the couch. “let me know when you’re ready to treat me like your girlfriend. until then, i don’t know if i can be anymore.” your last words made him stand, as you left and slammed the door behind you.

mike swore loudly and sunk onto the couch, rubbing his hair with his hands in a stressed manner, not noticing the little girl peaking around the door frame of her room. “mike?” he heard her little voice and broke down into tears.

“what?” he said, mid sob, not wanting her to see him the way he was. abby walked out from her room, wrapped up in one of her blankets. she walked over to mike, unwrapped it, and placed it over him.

“where did y/n just go?” she asked, “and why were you guys yelling like mom and dad?” those words made him break down, he started sobbing, and it made him realize that he wouldn’t lose you that easily. he physically couldn’t.

abby could tell he didn’t want to lose you that easily, so she helped him come up with a plan. until that plan was executed, however, mike couldn’t sleep for days, and when he did, his dreams were all about you. marrying you,

it had been about 4 days after your arguments. no contact, no texts on your part. however, mike wasn’t expecting otherwise, because of your last words you said to him, so he had to make the move, the ball was in his court.

so, with abby at his side, he texted you.

y/n, i’m so sorry for everything. can you come over so we can talk in person?

and so you came over, and he apologized to you. and said that his job at the nightshift was over, because he chose you, over his job. and the fact that the building collapsed but that takes away the sentimental value.

and abby was happy, because she was able to help get the both of you together.

#mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt fluff #fnaf fluff #abby fnaf #five nights at freddy's #velvrei #trending #writing

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raspberrybesitos · 1 year ago

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Tear You Apart | joel miller x f!reader

Main Masterlist

Summary: Joel hates Halloween, but he loves you. You drag him to your best friends’ Halloween party, who are dying to meet the older man that’s making their friend so happy. However, a side of him you’ve never seen before is unleashed after both your boundaries are pushed; and Joel reminds you who you belong to.

Word count: ~10k (jesus christ this got away from me)

Rating: 18+ MDNI (All ageless blogs will be blocked.)

Warnings: no outbreak AU, established relationship, age gap (reader is mid/late 20s, Joel is late 40s), possessive!Joel, (soft)dom!Joel, jealous!Joel if you squint, some angst (man harasses reader), Joel uses violence to defend your honor, semi-public sex (they fuck at a party in the guest room), oral (f and m receiving), thigh riding, mirror sex, squirting, fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap it up y’all), Joel calls reader a slut once, biting, some nipple play, creampie, cum eating, some fluff, Joel is dressed as a vampire, lil bit of OOC Joel, reader is female and has hair Joel can pull but has no physical descriptions, NO USE OF Y/N

A/N: Graphic is for aesthetic purposes only and does not depict reader, she is completely faceless and a reader insert through and through. Loosely based on Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge. Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own.

It's here! I hope y'all enjoy, I had so much fun with this one!

Special thanks to @nostalxgic @gracieheartsspedro @undrthelights @jenispunk and @mandoisapunk for listening to me scream about this for weeks. I love u girlies <333

Stunning graphic by @nostalxgic

Divider by @saradika

“It’ll be so much fun, babe, I promise! Jas and Matt have been dying to meet you too,” you tell Joel about the Halloween party your best friends are throwing. They’ve been dying to meet him, curious about the man who’s made their friend so happy the past 8 months.

You’re perched atop the counter, feet swaying as you keep him company while he works.

Joel’s crouched down on his knees, fixing the leaking faucet in your apartment that you’ve been complaining about for a week now. “I don’t know, darlin’, y’know ‘m no good at socializin’ ‘n stuff. ‘N why’re they so excited to meet an old man like me?” Joel grunts as he works under the sink.

“Because, an old man like you makes me really happy and they just want to meet the reason for my new ‘glow’ they like to call it.”

With one last grunt, he tightens the pipes and rises to his feet. “So you think ‘m old?” He huffs, brows furrowed, sweat beading down his temple. “What would you do if I said yes?” You tease, as you bite back a smile.

“Then I’ll jus’ have t’ show you what this old man’s capable of,” he says as he leans down to nibble at your neck. You yelp at the feeling, dissipating into laughter. You can feel him smirk against your skin. “That reminds me! I’ve already picked out our costumes,” you say, wrapping your arms around his back, tilting your head back to grant him more access as he litters kisses along your neck and collarbone.

“Oh yeah? ‘N what are we gonna be?” “Vampires. I’ve already got the fangs and a cape for you. I think it’s very fitting, considering what you’re doing right now,” you giggle, his patchy beard scratching your skin.

“Ain’t vampires like a hundred years old?” Joel lifts his head, meeting your gaze. “Even more fitting!” You press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips, hopping off the counter. He pulls you back by the waist before you can leave. “Watch it, darlin’,” playfully warning you.

“I’m kidding, baby,” you reassure him, reaching up to wipe the sweat from his temple. “Mm,” he grunts as he playfully smacks your ass. He leans down to press one more kiss to your lips - a soft, gentle one. You leave to order dinner for the two of you.

“Oh, and Joel?” “Yes, baby?” “I’m fully aware of what you’re capable of. You can show me after dinner, after you try your costume on,” you tell him before exiting the kitchen. He laughs, shaking his head in disbelief.

The shit he does for you.

“I feel silly, darlin’,” Joel mumbles as you finish applying the fake blood on his chin. “It’s a Halloween party, Joel! Everyone there will be wearing costumes, no need to feel silly,” you tell him as you adjust the collar on his cape and smooth out his white button up. His chest is slightly exposed, a few buttons undone.

“And for what it’s worth, I think you look really sexy. You’re really working those fangs.” You swear you see him blush as he shyly chuckles, the fangs peeking through his smile.

“You seen yourself, darlin’? Sexiest fuckin’ vampire ever. Jus’ wanna lay you out and eat ya for hours,” he says pulling you flush against his chest. His hands roam up and down your body, you’re adorned in a black mini dress and lacy black stockings. Fake blood dripping from your red and black painted lips and matching subtle fangs.

“Joel Miller! You kiss your mother with that mouth?!” You playfully smack his chest, flustered by his statement. “Nope, jus’ you, baby,” he laughs, nose nudging yours as he kisses you. You smile as you melt into the kiss, his arms, him.

You breathlessly pull away from him. “No more of that, or else we’re never gonna leave,” you say as you wipe the smudged fake blood and your lipstick from his lips. “I ain’t got a problem with that, honey.”

The bass is booming so loud you can feel the vibrations of the music from outside the house. There’s small crowds scattered throughout on the lawn smoking weed and cigarettes, the smell permeating the damp evening air.

The two of you walk up the porch, fingers laced in each others’. Joel holds a 12 pack of beers in his free hand, a bottle of tequila in yours.

You hear your name called from behind you near the porch, whipping your head around the see who is trying to get your attention. You spot a man in a devil costume, gasping as realization hits you.

“Oh my god, Matt! Hi! Jas said you had to work, so I wasn’t sure if you were gonna be here, how are you?!” Matt, your friend Jas’ - Jasmine - boyfriend and your good friend, engulfs you in an awkward hug as you continue to hold Joel’s hand.

“Of course I’m here! Wouldn’t miss meeting the famous Joel Miller,” he lightheartedly laughs. Your hand still in Joel’s, you pull back and bring Joel forward. “Joel, this is my friend and Jasmine’s boyfriend, Matt. Matt, this is my boyfriend, Joel,” you gesture in between them.

Joel lets go of your hand and extends it out to Matt. “Nice to meet ya, Matt,” he says politely. “Back at you, man. Jas never stops talking about how happy you make her, so it’s nice to have a face to the name,” Matt says as he firmly shakes Joel’s hand.

“Didn’t know I was a household name,” Joel jokes as he reaches for your hand again. Matt laughs and you bite back a smile.

“Yeah, you’re a popular subject in this house. Let’s head inside, Jas has been waiting for you two to show up,” Matt says as he opens the front door to lead you two into the party.

It’s loud in the house. Bottles, cans, neon shot glasses, and red solo cups are littered all over the house. Caution tape and cotton cobwebs are draped on the walls as jack-o-lanterns are scattered throughout the living room. The color-changing lights flash throughout the room. People are clumped in groups, dressed in varying costumes, dancing and conversing over the music.

You can sense Joel’s shift in his mood, feeling his nerves and you squeeze his hand to reassure him that everything’s good. He looks down at you and gives you a soft smile. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Jas! Your special guest has arrived!” Matt shouts over the music as you three walk into the kitchen. Jasmine whips around at lightning speed, her angel wings bumping into the people surrounding her. She lets out an excited scream.

“You came!” She drops the cups she was holding on the counter and lunges at you, giving you a bone-crushing hug. “Of course I did! I wouldn’t miss the party of the year!” You let go of Joel’s hand and wrap your arms under her wings.

She gasps as she pulls back. “And I see you’ve brought the special someone! Hi, I’m Jas, it’s so nice to finally meet you, Joel!” She reaches out to hug Joel. He shifts a little, caught off guard by the hug, but adjusts to it immediately.

“Nice to finally meet you too, Jasmine. She talks about ya all the time, I know you two are thick as thieves,” he says while returning the hug with a smile. You can sense his relief.

“Oh, please call me Jas. And I could say the same about you! She never shuts up about you. I kept asking her ‘when am I finally gonna meet this mysterious Joel you keep talking about’ and it only took her eight months to introduce me,” she turns to you as she emphasizes her words.

“Pardon me, Jas. I was part of the stallin’. Just nervous to be around a younger crowd ‘n also want t’ make a good impression. I know ya mean a lot to her,” Joel tells Jas.

Jas softens at his words, her lips curling upside down with her hands pressed to her heart. “No need to be nervous! I like you already, Joel,” she says with a toothy grin. She turns to you again. “You were right, he’s as sweet as pie,” a rush of embarrassment floods your body, shyly smiling at her words.

“Oh, and you brought more alcohol?! Such a Southern gentleman! Thank you so much, you two,” Jas giddily exclaims as she takes sight of the bottle of tequila and 12 pack from you and Joel.

“‘Course, what kinda guests would we be showing up empty-handed?” Joel asks, handing the alcohol over to Jas. She and Matt place the beer in one of many coolers and the bottle at the make-shift bar on the counter.

“Good ones,” Jas says, disappointment lacing her tone. “Mostly everyone showed up empty-handed, so we appreciate this so much. Thank you again! Now, let’s get you two some drinks!”

Jas pours the four of you some shots and passes them around. “To new beginnings and a great night!” Jas shouts as she raises her glass in the air. “Cheers!” The three of you say, copying her actions. You toss back the tequila, immediately chasing it with a lime wedge, grimacing at the burn.

“Was smooth,” Joel says, completely unfazed by the taste and sensation. He chuckles at your reaction and pulls you into his side. His large hand rests on your waist, toying with the hem of your dress. You look up at him, giddy like a schoolgirl as you try to keep your composure under his touch, feeling electrified as he shows you off and claims you as his.

“If you don’t mind, could I steal you away for a bit? I wanna get to know you a bit more, if you don’t mind, brother,” Matt asks Joel while glancing in between the two of you. “No fair, babe! I wanted to interrogate him first,” Jas huffs while she mixes cocktails for you and her.

You and Joel laugh, his coming out a bit more uneasy than he intended. “Sure, man, I don’t mind. I promise to answer all your questions,” Joel says, letting go of your waist.

Jas hands you a red solo cup filled with something and Joel is about to be whisked away by Matt, but not before he leans down to press a swift kiss to your lips, careful not to ruin your makeup or his fake blood.

“He seems like a keeper,” Jas says smugly as the men walk away and the two of you sip your drinks. “You haven’t stopped smiling at him since you got here. You got it bad, babe.” You choke on your drink, a mix of embarrassment and disgust as the taste of the drink settles on your tongue.

“What the fuck did you even make?!” Jas laughs, “Your favorite! Rum and diet coke with a twist, but I might’ve put in a little more rum than diet coke.” You wince, but go back for another sip. Joel is driving so you could enjoy yourself, so why not?

“But in all seriousness,” Jas yells over the music while leading you two into the hallway away from the bustling kitchen. “You’re the happiest you’ve ever been and that’s all I want for you. I’m assuming he’s treating you right… right?”

You soften at her sentiment. “Yeah, babe, he treats me right. And I am happy, like beyond happy. He’s amazing, and you know I don’t just say that about any man so easily” you joke, the two of you giggling over your drinks.

“So the two of you have been together for what, 8 months now? I’m glad you could finally join us, and I hope you don’t take that the wrong way. Jas and I’ve just been so impatient waiting to meet you ‘cause she never stops talking about you,” Matt says while taking a sip of his beer, Joel mirroring him as they stand on opposing sides of the foyer.

“Yeah, 8 months now. ‘N no, no hard feelin’s, man. We just both wanted t’ be sure about each other before introducing each other to people. She told me you and Jas have been together for 4 years, so ‘m assumin’ ya know about her past experiences if Jas has told ya anythin’,” Joel says while taking another swig of his beer.

“Yeah, I know about ‘em all. Saw her go through some rough shit with her last ex. She’s been through hell and any friend of Jas is a friend of mine. I hope you get what I’m trying to say,” Matt says.

Joel nods in understanding. “Yeah, I do, man, don’t worry. ‘S a big reason why it’s taken me so long to come around, so I get where you’re comin’ from,” Joel tells Matt as he nudges him with his elbow. “And what’s the other reason, if you don’t mind me asking?” Matt awaits Joel's answer

“Ain’t it obvious? ‘M fuckin’ twice y’alls age,” Joel says, brows furrowed in confusion with a smirk on his face. “Ah, that, man? We’re all grown! And she’s got a mind of her own, she can make her own decisions. That shit don’t matter, man! Were you that nervous to meet us?”

Joel laughs gratefully. “Hell yeah, I was! I was worried we wouldn’t have anythin’ t’ talk about. Sometimes, she makes references ‘n I don’t understand what the hell she’s sayin’, but ‘m real glad that don’t matter to any of ya,” he says, raising his bottle to Matt. “Yeah, man, that don’t matter, as long as she’s happy! Which she seems to be,” Matt says. “Hope she is,” Joel mutters, the two of them clinking bottles together.

“It looks like they’re getting along! That’s a good sign. Matt normally isn’t open to meeting any of your dates, especially after Christian. He was a complete asshole, but I’m glad things are better for you now, babe. Seriously,” Jas tells you, the two of you huddled together on the loveseat, sipping your 5th rum and diet cokes.

You’re definitely feeling the effects of them now, your head feels warm and fuzzy along with the rest of your body. “Joel was so nervous to come tonight, Jas - more nervous than me. His age obviously doesn’t bother me, but does it bother you? Be honest,” you ask her, nervously fiddling with your nearly empty cup.

“No, babe, not at all. And you should know this! You know I’ll always support you as long as you're happy. You weren’t happy with any of those assholes from the past, which is why I wasn’t supportive of your relationships with them,” she says.

You shift in the loveseat, casting your gaze towards the floor. “But, I support you now,” she quickly adds, placing her hand on top of yours, forcing your eyes to meet hers. “I support this. He’s good for you, I can tell. And I think you’re good for him too.” You both smile at each other. This time, you lunge at her, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you,” you say into her ear, embracing her for a moment. The two of you pull away.

“Matt needs to hurry up so I can talk to Joel, he’s hogging him,” she says as she rises from the loveseat. “I’m gonna get a refill, want one?” She asks, holding her hand out to you.

“I’m good for right now, I think I’m already drunk, so I’m gonna slow down for a bit. I’m gonna go find Joel though, I wanna dance!” You tell her, rising from the loveseat with her hand in yours.

“You think he’ll dance with you? Don’t get me wrong, I love that he makes you happy, but he doesn’t seem like the dancing type.” “Babe, he’s already wearing a costume and came with me. I think he’ll do just about anything I ask of him,” a smug smile plastering your face. Wobbly from the liquor, you carefully make your way towards Joel and Matt.

“Hey, baby,” you slur, interrupting their conversation as you clutch Joel’s strong forearm to gain some sort of balance. “Woah, you good there, babydoll?” Joel asks, catching you as you struggle to stand still. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just drank a lot without moving, so I’m feeling it. I hope you two had a nice talk because I’m about to steal him away. Sorry, Matt,” you shrug.

Matt has a shit eating grin on his face. “No worries… babydoll,” he barks out a laugh. You feel warm, and not just because of the alcohol. Heat radiates all throughout your body, your stomach flipping at Joel’s affection and Matt’s teasing. Joel playfully swats Matt on the shoulder. “Watch it, man.” Matt doubles over at Joel’s lame attempt to warn him. Joel feels his face heat up with embarrassment. Matt takes great joy in seeing the two of you flustered.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Matt says while putting his hands up in surrender, leaving you two alone in the hallway. The first time the two of you’ve had a moment to yourselves since arriving. You look up at him, chin resting against his thick bicep. He looks down, his eyes hazy with a mixture of love and lust.

“Hi, baby,” he says while pressing a kiss to your head, beer bottle now placed on a decorative wooden table. “You and Matt getting along? Seems like it.” “Yeah, he’s a cool guy. Real protective of you.” He wraps his free arm around your waist, maneuvering the both of you so that your chests are pressed together. “Well, Jas is like my sister and he’s been with her for years, so he’s kind of like a brother to me in a way. Both of them just want me to be happy.”

He takes in your words, rubbing small circles on your lower back. “Are you happy, babydoll?” He seems to know the answer, but you can feel his confidence waver. You scoff in disbelief, that you can’t help but mess with him. “That’s a crazy question, Joel. Of course I’m not happy, I actually can’t stand you. I only keep you around to fix stuff for me.” Joel rolls his eyes and smirks.

“Mmm, is that so, darlin’?” he mutters, pressing a kiss to your neck, sucking on that spot near your collarbone. You throw your head back into a fit of giggles. “I’m just joking, Joel. Of course I’m happy, baby. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” He hums into your neck, lightly kissing the spot before lifting his head. “Me too. I love you, darlin’,” he says, meeting your eyes. You wrap your arms around his neck, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. “I love you too, baby.”

You tiptoe to press a kiss to his lips, completely melting into his embrace. He moves one hand from your waist to cup your cheek, pulling you in closer. Both of you sighing into the kiss, relishing in your solitude.

“How much do you love me, Joel?” You breathlessly ask when you pull away. He quirks his brow. “More than anythin’, baby… why?” He can’t help but feel curious as he sees a smirk make its way onto your face. “You love me enough to dance with me?”

Dancing has never been his scene, socializing has never been his thing, but you’re everything.

Your fangs peek through as you bite your bottom lip awaiting his answer. He sighs, “‘Course I do, darlin’. Y’know I’d do anythin’ for ya, also can never say no to ya. I showed up to this party in a goddamn vampire costume, didn’t I?” You can’t help the giggle that escapes you, going in for another kiss. Joel moves his hand down your ass and squeezes it, eliciting a yelp from you and breaking the kiss.

“Joel!” You scold him, no trace of malice in your voice. He just laughs, letting go of your waist and taking your hand in his. His empty beer bottle now perched on the table in the foyer, along with many others as the two of you make your way to the makeshift dance floor in the living room.

The color changing lights flash to the beat of the music. You feel the floor vibrate beneath your boots. You can’t hide the smile on your face. Joel is a little awkward at first, unsure of what to do with his hands and in general. You guide him, taking his hands in yours and place them on your waist. You rhythmically grind your hips against his to the beat of the music.

He’s a bit stiff. “Loosen up, babe! We’ve danced together before, I know you can dance!” You shout in his ear over the blaring music. “We’ve only danced in private, darlin’, not with an audience!” You playfully roll your eyes. “Babe, everyone here is either drunk, high, or both! No one cares!” His hesitation meets his eyes, but he powers through.

Joel grabs your hips and turns you around, your ass now grinding against his clothed hard-on to the beat. You smile and throw your head back in a fit of laughter, your hand reaching around to caress the back of his head. You both sway to the beat, sweating from the alcohol and the amount of people in the house.

The song transitions into the next and you turn around in Joel’s grasp. “I’m gonna go get another drink, do you want another beer?” You shout into his ear, holding onto his wide shoulders for balance. “Sure. Thanks, baby! I’m gonna see if I can find Matt again,” he shouts back. You lean up to press a quick peck to his lips before beelining to the kitchen.

The music is still loud, but not nearly as loud as it is in the living room. The paper thin entry door to the kitchen only somewhat drowns it out. There’s only a handful of people lingering in the corner of the kitchen and near the bar.

You politely make your way to the bar, excusing yourself as you shimmy between the group. You grab a red solo cup and make yourself another rum and diet coke with a twist, opting to keep mixing liquors to a minimum.

You make your way to find Joel, cocktail in hand, when you realize you forgot his beer. Spinning around, you turn back to grab him one from the cooler. You rise to leave and bump into someone as you try to make your way back to the hallway, your drink sloshing over the side a bit.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You look up and see who you’ve bumped into - a younger man, around Matt’s age, dressed as a pirate. He’s nowhere near as tall as Joel, shorter and slimmer too.

“No worries, sexy. If you wanted my attention, all you had to do was ask,” he slurs out. You can smell the alcohol on his breath. You nervously chuckle, going to leave until your only exit is blocked by him. “Hey, where ya goin’?” He asks, offended at your attempt to leave. You tense as you feel your body go into fight or flight mode.

“I’m so sorry for bumping into you, I didn’t see you when I turned around. I’ll get out of your hair,” you say as you try to move around him. He continues to block the door. “Aw, don’t leave, baby! Is it ‘cause I didn’t say sorry back?” You give him a tight lipped smile, still struggling to get away.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” he sighs. “I didn’t realize I was that close to ya while you were bent over showing me that pretty little ass digging in the cooler.” A flash of heat washes over you, rage surging through your body. You try to size him up, swallowing down the fear, and assert yourself.

“Could you move please? I’d just like to get back to the party,” you sternly, but kindly ask him, despite him being undeserving of your kindness. He moves closer, backing you into the counter, caging you. “You here with anybody?” “Yes, my boyfriend. Now please, move,” you try to duck underneath him, but he grabs you by the waist.

“Wait, that old dude?! You serious?! I saw you two dancing, but I thought that was a joke. Come on, baby, you can do better than that old man, especially when I’m right here,” he shouts. Panic settles in as you struggle to escape his grasp.

The kitchen door swings open with Matt and Joel in tow, but unbeknownst to you with your view still blocked by this creep. “Hey, the hell’s goin’ on here?” Joel barks. The creep whips his body around and laughs. “Oh, so you’re the boyfriend. Thought she was fuckin’ with me when she told me she was here with you.”

Joel steps forward, chest heaving as he sizes up the man harassing you. “Hey, cool it, Joel. And you, Anthony, get the fuck out of here, you’re not even supposed to be here,” Matt shouts, intervening. With his back turned, you manage to escape Anthony’s grasp and you in and rush into Joel’s arms.

“You alright, baby? What happened?” Joel asks as he crushes you into his embrace, cupping your face in his hands. As you’re about to answer, Anthony cuts you off with a scoff while walking towards you two. “Nothing fucking happened! That bitch was fucking rude, she tried to leave while I was still talking to her!”

You see something you’ve never seen before flash in Joel’s eyes before he turns to Anthony - something protective, angry, primal. He fiercely places you behind him, blocking you from Anthony. “The fuck did you just call her?!” Joel’s voice booms over the music as he shoves Anthony into the kitchen island. Shoving Anthony again, Joel yells, "the fuck did you do to her?!"

“Hey, what the fuck, man?! I didn’t do shit! She’s the one who’s being fucking dramatic! All I asked was for a drink and a dance!” Seething, you find the courage to stick up for yourself.

“You know damn well that’s now what happened, you fucking jerkoff! You fucking grabbed me after I rejected your ass and tried to leave!” You shout from behind Joel. All three men are looking at you, along with the small crowd in the kitchen.

Joel shoves him again and shouts, “You fuckin’ touchin’ my girl?! The fuck’s wrong with you?!” Anthony shoves him back. “Fuck you, man! I didn’t even know she was your girl!” Joel grabs him by the collar of his shirt.

“Don’t fuckin’ matter if she’s my girl or not, you don’t go puttin’ your fuckin’ hands on women after they said no,” Joel snarls. Matt tries to pry Joel off Anthony, but it’s no use. Joel’s got a death grip on Anthony’s collar.

“Let me go, you fucking psycho. Go stick your limp dick in your whore’s loose fucking pussy!” It all happens so fast that you don’t see it, but you hear it - a resounding crunch. Anthony groans as his nose gushes blood and Matt finally yanks Joel off him. “The fuck’s wrong with you?! You fucking broke my nose! All for that bitch over there?!” Anthony quite literally spits as blood dribbles onto his lips.

Joel grabs Anthony by the collar again and shoves him to the ground, following suit to pin him down. Anthony tries to swing at Joel and misses. Joel delivers one sickening punch after another to Anthony’s face.

You stand frozen in shock as Joel delivers another punch to Anthony’s face, his lip busted open, eyes bruising. It’s wrong, you know it’s wrong, but something about Joel defending you sends a rush through your body and a burning sensation to your core. None of your past partners have ever stood up for you before. Not even when you were openly harassed in front of them.

Seeing this angry, feral side of Joel has you all riled up for an entirely different reason now. You know you should stop him, but your feet are glued to the floor, unable to move and intervene.

Matt rushes to stop the fight before it escalates even more as Anthony lay there helpless on the floor, no match for the older, broader man. “Joel! Joel! Enough, man! I think he got the message,” Matt shouts over the commotion of the fight and the music, wrestling Joel off Anthony.

Jas runs in through the door at the sound of Matt yelling. She wiggles her way through the crowd that’s gathered to see the fight to your side, pulling you back from the scene. You hadn’t realized how close they'd gotten to you while fighting. She cradles you in her arms, screaming Matt’s name.

That pulls you out of your trance. Shuddering out of Jas’ grasp, you rush to the thrashing trio. “Joel!” You scream at the top of your lungs. Joel is about to deliver another punch when he hears you.

He snaps his head around and meets your gaze. You silently plead with your eyes to stop. You glance at Anthony as Joel rises to his feet. He lay on the floor groaning in pain, but that doesn’t stop Matt from forcefully getting him up and shoving him out the door.

Joel strides to you, gripping your face in his now battered hands. The two of you breathlessly lock eyes. You can hear Jas clearing out the crowd that’s gathered in the kitchen, but it sounds muffled, all your focus being on Joel.

“What the hell happened?!” Jas screeches while cleaning up the floor, a few cups and bottles were scattered on the floor in the midst of the fight, if you can even call it a fight. A few specks of blood stain the floor and that gets your attention. You grab a random rag on the counter and swiftly wipe it up as Jas continues picking things up off the floor.

“‘M sorry, Jas. Was my fault, not hers. Guy was just a prick,” Joel quietly says, guilt and shame evident in his voice. You quickly shake your head. “It wasn't your fault, Joel. That guy, Anthony, was harassing me when I came to get a drink for me and Joel. He blocked the door so I couldn’t leave. Then he grabbed me by the waist and caged me in between him and the counter and well... you can guess what happened next,” you explain to Jas, quick to justify Joel’s actions.

“Anthony?! What the hell was he doing here?! He wasn’t invited, we made that very clear to him,” Jas screeches. You and Joel give each other the same confused look. “Why wasn’t he invited, babe?” You ask Jas.

“Because he was trying to make a pass at another friend of ours the last time we hung out. He didn’t get his ass beat, but we did tell him he wasn’t invited tonight. I’m gonna fucking kill him and whoever he came with,” she explains, exasperated and angry.

“Well now I don’t feel so bad for beating the shit out of him,” Joel mutters, a humorless chuckle escapes him. “Oh, Joel, don’t feel bad. If anything, I’m sorry that he got past us. This could’ve been prevented had Matt and I been more vigilant,” Jas says, tears pricking her eyes.

“Hey. No one is to blame, but him. This is all on him, no one else. Am I clear?” You say, but both of them stay silent. “I’m okay, guys. I promise,” you firmly state.

Matt barges into the kitchen, frantically rushing to Jas’ side. “I’m so sorry he got past me, I told him last time to watch himself and that he wasn’t invi-,”

“Matt, stop,” you cut him off. “I was just telling Joel and Jas that it’s no one’s fault, but his. I’m okay, guys. I promise. Beating yourselves up isn’t gonna change what happened. I’m just grateful that you guys walked in when you did,” you tell them.

Joel huffs again. You reach for his uninjured hand. “Hey. You did good. You saved me. I’m okay, baby,” you say with a reassuring squeeze to his hand and a gentle smile on your face. Joel’s lips slightly quirk up at your expression. You glance down at his other hand and clear your throat.

“Let’s get some ice on that. You could’ve broken it, we need to clean you up,” you tell Joel, gently inspecting his battered hand. “It ain’t broken ‘n you don’t gotta do all that, baby. No need to fuss over my dumbass. I did this to myself,” Joel groans.

“Oh! Let me get you something to ice that with,” Jas says, completely ignoring what Joel said and walks to the freezer to pull out a bag of frozen vegetables.

“There’s also a first aid kit in the guest room bathroom, if you two want to freshen up in there. I understand if you two want to leave, but the space is there… if you want,” she sheepishly says. You gratefully take the make-shift ice pack she hands you and squeeze her hand in the process.

“Thank you, babe. We’ll take you up on that,” you tell her, grabbing Joel’s hand to lead him out of the kitchen. Matt and Jas follow suit. “Upstairs, down the hall, last door on the left. Take your time,” Matt says, glancing between you and Joel, clapping a hand on Joel’s shoulder.

He and Joel nod at each other. Matt looks at you, concern lacing his features as his brows knit together. You give him a sheepish smile, an unspoken “I’m okay.” He gives you the same nod, and gestures towards the stairs.

You and Joel make your way upstairs and to the guest room. Joel follows in behind you, shutting and locking the door behind you.

The music is still loud, but slightly muffled now, the need to yell gone. You pad into the bathroom to get the first aid under the sink, returning to the bedroom. Joel sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands.

“Hey,” you say, placing the first aid kit down next to him. His head snaps up and you can see the guilt in his eyes. “‘M so sorry, darlin’. I just got so fuckin’ mad. Mad that that fuckin’ prick was gonna hurt ya and mad at myself for not bein’ there sooner. Shouldn’t’ve let ya go in there alone,” he quietly says, voice barely above a whisper.

You push his legs apart a bit, making room for yourself on his lap to straddle him. You cup his face in your hands. “Hey, no. None of that, okay? I’m okay, baby. I promise. Like I said downstairs, the only person at fault here is that asshole. No one could’ve known he was gonna try anything, let alone be here. You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do. Besides, you stopped him before he really tried anything,” gently caressing his cheeks with your thumbs.

He stays quiet for a moment. “‘M still sorry, darlin’. Your friends probably think ‘m some crazy fuckin’ old man.” “Joel, stop. You heard them yourself, they’re grateful you stopped him. And for the love of god, stop saying you’re old! You’re not even 50.”

You pull his head into your chest, his head pressed against your heart, basking in the silence. You pull away to press a kiss to his forehead before reaching for the first aid kit.

“Now, give me your hand. You need to ice it,” you say, reaching your hand out for his. He begrudgingly groans, slapping his large hand into yours. “I said you ain’t gotta do all that, baby. It’s fine.” “Joel Miller, stop arguing with me.” “Or what, darlin’?” You smirk, “or else, I’m not gonna suck your dick later.” His eyes nearly pop out of his head.

“‘N why’re you gonna suck my dick later? Hmm?” You unravel a piece of gauze as he ices his hand, rummaging through the first aid kit for some alcohol wipes and medical tape.

“I mean, you defended my honor. I gotta pay you back somehow, don’t I?” You tease, grinding against his clothed cock while cutting a piece of tape. He grunts at the friction. You reach for his hand, he mindlessly places it in yours with his mind preoccupied now.

“You liked me punching that guy for you, didn't you, babydoll?” Joel whispers. Your brows quirk up, smizing at him, "what would you say if I did?” He chuckles.

“I’d say you’re a dirty girl.” You pause, making eye contact with him, the muffled music vibrating the walls. Warmth blooms in your belly, traveling straight to your cunt. Your hands are shaky as you remove the makeshift ice pack from his hand and wipe his hand with an alcohol wipe. He doesn’t even wince at the sting, solely focused on you.

You clear your throat, the energy in the room shifting. “Then I guess that makes me your dirty girl,” you whisper, teasingly grinding against him again while trying to secure the gauze with medical tape. Joel growls at your words, and snatches the supplies from your hands and tosses them on the ground.

“Get on your knees,” he rasps. Your eyes go wide. “But I wasn’t d-,” you’re cut off, and suddenly your lips brush against Joel’s as he pulls you in by your hair with his battered hand. “Get on your fuckin’ knees, baby girl,” Joel says, rising to his feet and gently lifting you off his lap.

A wave of arousal pools in between your thighs. You scramble to position yourself, your dress flashing your cleavage in the process. You settle in front of his clothed cock, a visible bulge poking through the fabric of his black dress pants.

“Show me how dirty you are, baby girl. Go on, don’t get all shy on me now,” he says, eyes blown wide and black with lust. You glide your hands up his hips and grip the waistband of his pants, slowly dragging them down to reveal his twitching cock, trapped in his underwear.

Teasingly cupping his heavy, hard length in your hands, Joel groans as you slowly pull down his briefs to pool around his ankles along with his pants.

His cock springs free from the confines of the fabric, red and throbbing. Your mouth waters at the sight. “Get to it, pretty girl, or else ‘m not cumming in that pretty pussy later,” Joel taunts.

You grab his length in one hand, the weight of it making your head spin. Stroking him as you teasingly kiss along the vein that runs up his cock, making your way to the head. You run your thumb over the tip and Joel hisses at the sensation. You take only the tip in your mouth, lightly sucking on it.

“Stop fuckin’ teasin’, babydoll,” Joel growls, tugging at your hair to make you look up at him. You bat your lashes at him before diving in. Hollowing out your cheeks, you take him in slowly. He’s so big, you always have to take your time when you suck him off.

You only make it halfway down his cock before you’re gagging around him. Joel groans at the noise and the way your throat constricts around him. “Too big for you, princess?” He taunts.

“Mmm mm,” you hum, looking up at him with tears welling in your eyes. You pull back a bit, leaving a messy trail of spit on his throbbing cock. Catching your breath, you make your way down him again.

“Fuck, baby, your mouth always feels so goddamn good,” Joel grunts. You hum at his praise, the vibrations cause him to twitch in your mouth. Bracing yourself once more and steadying your breath, you bob your head.

“So fuckin’ wet ‘n warm, baby, my good fuckin’ slut suckin’ my cock so well, fuck,” Joel groans, his words going straight to your cunt, clenching around nothing.

Moaning, you slurp around him with spit dripping all over your chin and his cock, your lipstick and mascara smeared. You breathe through your nose as you take him all the way, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

Joel moans loudly as you hum with tears streaming down your face as you deepthroat him. “Oh, good fuckin’ girl, my perfect fuckin’ girl,” Sucking up and down on his thick, long cock, you make your way to the base once more. Your nose nudged in his wiry bush, you cup his balls in your hand and toy with them.

Joel involuntarily bucks his hips, pushing himself further down your throat. You gag around him once more, sending more tears running down your face and even more spit collecting around him and on your chin.

“Fuck! Stop, come here, baby,” Joel hisses, yanking you off him by your hair. You gasp for air as a string of spit and precum dribble from your lips, makeup completely ruined. You whine as he lifts you off your feet, desperately seeking his cock anyway you can have it.

“Don’t wanna cum yet, still need to cum in that pretty pussy,” he says, kicking his pants off his ankles while settling you on his lap, facing him again. He crashes his lips onto yours, finally after what feels like hours of not kissing him. The kiss is sloppy and ferocious, teeth clashing together, the taste of him mixed into it. Joel hungrily sucks your tongue into his mouth and swallows your moans.

He lifts the hem of your dress and pushes your lacy thong to the side, his fingers ghosting over your glistening folds. “Suckin’ my cock got you that wet, babydoll? Hm?” Nodding, you whimper as he sucks his fingers into his mouth, licking your slick off them. He groans at the taste of you as you whine.

“Joel,” you whine, pouting at him. “So needy, baby. Later, sweet girl,” he chuckles as he holds your hips in place and bounces you on his thigh. You cry out at the friction it creates. “Right now, I want ya to ride me like this, baby girl. Think ya can do that for me? Huh, pretty girl?”

You whimper at his words. He bounces you on his lap again, causing you to whine again. "I asked you a question," he growls. “Yes, Joel,” you hiccup. “Good girl,” he says, pressing a kiss to your chest. You slowly grind against him, your slick coating his bare thigh. The relief you’ve been seeking feels euphoric, your thong rubbing against your swollen clit with each thrust on his strong, sturdy thigh.

You grind faster against him, holding onto his broad shoulders to balance yourself. “Take what ya need, babydoll,” Joel rasps as he yanks down the front of your dress and matching lacy bra, exposing your breasts. He sucks a nipple into his mouth, your back arching into him. You let out a high-pitched moan, a new wave of slick running down your cunt and onto his thigh.

It’s slippery as you grind against him, your thrusts growing sloppy. Joel sucks your other nipple into his mouth, kneading your other breast with his bruised hand. He bites down, tugging on your nipple. Your eyes fly open, gasping as he smirks into your chest.

“Joel,” is all you manage to stutter out. He bounces you on his leg as you continuously grind on him. He groans at the sight of your breasts bouncing in his face. It’s all too much, panting as you clench around nothing as you continue to relentlessly grind your aching clit against his thigh.

“Come on, babydoll. Know you’re close, let go for me,” he says as he litters kisses all along your exposed chest. His words send you over the edge, endless moans streaming out of you as you cum all over his lap. “That’s it, babydoll. Atta girl,” he mutters as you twitch in his lap. Your breath stutters as you come down from your high.

He crashes his lips into yours, capturing them in another hungry kiss. He moans into your mouth while gathering you in his arms before tossing you on the bed. You squeal, landing on your back. Your tits bounce in the process, the both of you realizing you’re both still clothed.

“You like this dress, babydoll?” Joel asks, hovering over you, his lips ghosting over yours. “Mmhmm,” you respond, sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth. “I’ll buy you another one,” he says, ripping the thin black dress down the middle. You gasp, shocked at his ferality.

“Joel! What’s gotten into you tonight?” You squeak as he shucks off his costume. “Tonight reminded me I could lose ya at any moment,” he mumbles hovering over you once more. You pause, frowning at his words. “You’re never gonna lose me, Joel.” He doesn’t respond, instead he silently litters kisses on your chest.

“Joel, were you jealous?” You ask, brows knitted together. He sighs, “No… just hated seein' that prick so close to ya. Hated the way he treated ya and I fuckin' hated the way these boys here kept lookin' at ya when we came in.” You twirl the curls at the nape of his neck.

“What way, Joel? And you know I don't care about any of those boys.” He presses another kiss to your jaw. You can sense the shift in his mood - that he’s still in his head about the situation. “I know, baby, I know, but I do. These fuckin’ boys ain’t got no respect for you and are always jumpin’ on ya the minute I walk away,” Joel rambles.

“Do you trust me, Joel?” You ask, cupping his face in your hands to meet his gaze. “With my life, baby. It’s them, I don’t trust. Seein’ that prick with his hands on ya… just saw fuckin’ red. Shouldn’t have to deal with assholes like them,” he mutters, tearing his gaze from yours.

“I know, Joel, but shit happens. I promise you, I’m okay, baby. At least I’ve got a big, strong man to protect me. He did a pretty good job tonight,” you playfully hum, eliciting a breathy laugh out of him. “Yeah, you think he did good?” He asks, going along with your bit. “Mhmm, seeing him fuck up that guy for me was so sexy. I knew I had to have him,” you say, biting back a toothy grin.

“He’s a lucky man, darlin’.” You smirk, playfully teasing him, “actually, I think I’m the luckiest. He’s great at eating pussy, I wish he was doing that right now. He promised me more earlier.”

Joel’s brows quirk. “Careful now, baby. You know what happens when you act like a brat now, don’t you, darlin’?” “Mhmm, that’s why I’m acting like one,” you giggle. He growls as he pulls back from you, unhooking your bra and yanking your thong and stockings down in one swift motion.

He trails kisses up and down your body, sinking his teeth into that spot right below your ear, eliciting a soft moan from you. “You’re gonna get it now, little girl,” he rasps, sending a shiver down your spine.

Nipping at your neck and pressing a kiss to your chin, he snakes his battered hand down your body, landing on your sex. He spreads your lips and gathers your slick on his fingers, sucking them into his mouth once more. “My favorite fuckin’ meal in the world, I gotta have a taste, baby,” he hums.

He swiftly crouches on his knees at the edge of the bed. You yelp as he drags you down with him to position himself in front of your pussy. You prop yourself up on your elbows, watching him take in the sight of your weeping cunt. His eyes are black, blown wide with lust. You feel heady, panting as the world becomes muffled just like the music playing outside the room.

Anticipation blooms in your belly as Joel presses kisses to your inner thighs and works his way up to your pussy. One kiss to your lips has you throwing your head back, moaning. Joel continues to kiss your lips and avoid your clit. Not quite giving it the attention you’re looking for. You buck your hips up into his face, seeking relief.

He pushes them back down, pinning you to the bed with his uninjured hand. “Uh uh, none of that. I’m gonna give ya what ya want, baby girl, just gotta be patient. C’mon, be a good girl for me, sweetheart,” he says between your thighs. You moan, mindlessly nodding at his words.

A soft smack is pressed to your hips. “C’mon, baby girl, lemme hear you. Use your words. Ya gonna be a good girl for me?” You lift yourself up again, eyes hooded as you look at Joel. “Yes, Joel. Gonna be your good girl,” you whine.

“Atta girl,” he rasps. No warning, he dives in, licking a stripe up your lips and onto your clit. Your eyes fly open, “Joel,” you gasp. He hums as he slowly flicks your clit with his tongue. The relief is intoxicating. He laps at the new wave of slick dripping from your pussy, moaning into you. Him getting off on eating you out makes you even wetter.

He licks through folds, gathering more of your juices on his tongue. “Feels s-so, so good, baby,” you stutter. He moves to fuck his tongue in and out of you, moaning at the way you clench at the tip of his tongue as a high-pitched moan escapes you. “M-more, Joel, more!” You yelp, tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

You gasp as he presses two thick fingers onto your pulsating clit, flicking it relentlessly as he fucks his tongue into your sopping core. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, Joel, fuck right there, oh fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you chant, eyes squeezed shut.

He groans into you, your words sending a bead of precum leaking down his cock - the vibration sends you tumbling over the edge. He laps at your cum like a starved man, wasting no drop as you ride out your orgasm.

You barely have time to register what’s happening while you come down from your high as Joel manhandles you off the mattress and into his arms again.

“Turn around,” Joel snarls, gripping you by the waist as he lifts you off him, helping you reposition yourself in his lap, his angry cock brushing against your slit.

You both hiss at the contact, your back pressed against his chest now. You rut your hips into Joel’s seeking relief. Joel tightly grasps your hips. “Did I say you could move?” His voice is husky in your ear, it sends a shockwave to your aching core.

You still. “Good girl.” You whimper at his praise. Joel brings a hand around and brushes two fingers against your lips. You suck them into your mouth.

“Mmm, such a good girl, baby. Doing what you’re supposed to without me asking,” he says. You hum around them, hollowing out your cheeks.

Joel pulls them out and you whine at the loss of contact, your frustration growing. A gasp escapes you when he swiftly presses his warm, wet fingers against your throbbing clit.

You moan loudly, involuntarily wriggling in his grasp. He presses a smack to your thigh. “Stop moving, little girl.”

Mustering all your strength to stay still, you sit atop him. His leaking, swollen head dribbling precum onto your ass as you settle in his lap, his fingers still pressed against your aching clit. “F-feels so g-good, baby,” you huff, breathless from the stimulation.

“Mmmm, yeah, pretty girl?” Joel hums. “Uh-huh,” is all you manage to say. Joel moves his fingers from your clit down to your soaked folds. “If you be good and stay still for me, baby, I'll fill you up. ‘S that what this pretty pussy needs, huh? My pretty pussy need my fingers?” You throw your head back against his chest, “yes, Joel. N-need your f-fingers,” you gasp.

Mustering all the strength in your being, you sit as still as you possibly can, awaiting your reward. Joel resumes flicking your clit as he snakes his other hand down to your dripping hole and teasingly prods his thick fingers at your entrance. “Think you’ve been a good girl, baby? Think you deserve my fingers?” He taunts, swirling circles just outside where you need him most.

“Yes, Joel, please, I need them, baby, need you,” you beg, huffing all in one breath, completely flustered from his teasing. “Such a good girl, I don’t even gotta ask you to beg,” he smirks.

He shoves two thick fingers in your aching core, gasping as he fills you up. He fucks them in and out of you, curling them with each stroke as he lightly brushes your g-spot from the angle. He has you seeing stars.

“Joel, Joel, Joel,” you chant, gasping for air as he brings you closer to your orgasm. Suddenly, he pulls them out of you and his other hand leaves your clit. Tears well in your eyes, you grow frustrated from being edged. Without warning, Joel lifts you up and settles you on his angry, throbbing cock, leaking with precum everywhere.

You gasp as his thick, leaking cock enters you in one swift motion, filling you to the brim. “Fuck, baby. So goddamn tight.” You whimper at the delicious sting of the stretch, never fully getting used to his size no matter how many times you’ve fucked.

You slowly lift yourself off his cock to adjust to his size only for Joel to slam you back down, eliciting a scream from you. Your vision goes fuzzy for a second before coming to your senses.

The pain from the sting morphs into pleasure as you begin to bounce up and down on his cock at an eager pace. Moaning with your head thrown back against his sweaty bare chest, you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Atta girl, babydoll. Fuck look at you. You look so fuckin’ sexy, look at yourself. Open your eyes and look at how well you take my cock, baby,” he rasps, roughly grabbing your face in his battered hand to lift your head up to face the mirror in front of the bed.

Your eyes flutter open, looking into the mirror at where Joel pumps in and out of your cunt. The wet squelch and the sight of him fucking into you has you clenching around him.

Joel moans in your ear as you squeeze him, spurring you on to keep bouncing. He brings a hand to your chest and cups your breast, aggressively pinching your nipple.

You wail at the sensation and throw your head back, wrapping your arm around his neck to tug at the hairs at the nape. He sucks on the column of your neck, biting hard into your sensitive flesh as he toys with your nipples.

Sloppily grinding on his cock, you begin to lose your strength. “Joel, please,” you plead. “Come on, babydoll. Know ya can do better than that if you’re gonna beg for it. You did it earlier,” Joel taunts as he pulls your hair to reveal more of your neck to him, a bruise blossoming.

“Please, Joel. N-need more. Need you to, hah, need you to fuck me, please! Please fuck me, baby,” you sob, desperate tears falling down your face. “That’s better,” he rasps.

He takes over, relentlessly fucking up into you. “Fuck, Joel,” keening as he destroys your cervix. The angle has him so deliciously deep, your third orgasm quickly approaching.

“Fuck, baby, y’look so goddamn pretty bouncin’ on my cock. ‘S like you were made f’me.” He snakes a hand over your tummy, pressing down on it.

You gasp sharply at the pressure. The tight hold on your stomach and the way he’s crashing into your g-spot is too much. Your bodies stuck together with cum and sweat.

Speechless at the newfound pressure, your vision is spotty with stars, eyes rolling back so hard you go cross-eyed, a writhing mess in his vice grip. His large, calloused hands roaming your body.

“Fucked you so dumb, your fuckin’ eyes are crossed. ‘S matter, baby? Cat got your tongue? You were begging just a minute ago for more,” Joel says, smug as his nose nudges the back of your head as he nibbles on your earlobe. You mumble incoherently through your moans as he sinks his teeth into your shoulder.

An unfamiliar pressure rises in your belly, only feeling this sensation with Joel once while he went down on you in the beginning of your relationship. You try to muster the strength to keep your eyes open, but the pressure is overwhelming.

You’re squeezing Joel in a vice grip. “Fuck, baby! Squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight, you’re close. I can feel it,” he grunts, ruthlessly bucking his hips up into yours. The pressure burns white hot as he hits your g-spot with every stroke. The coil in your belly snaps, your cunt gushing all over Joel with no warning, wailing through your climax.

Joel groans in pleasure, smug and proud of himself for making you squirt. “Oh good girl, good fuckin’ girl, baby,” he drawls while fucking you through the high of your orgasm. Him following close behind, his pace growing sloppy. You can feel him twitch against your fluttering walls.

“Fill me up, Joel,” you gasp, still riding out the waves of your orgasm. “Yeah, you want my cum, baby? Look at me ‘n tell me whose pussy this is. Then, I’ll fill you up,” he taunts.

“Yours, Joel. It’s all yours. I’m yours, baby,” you slur, struggling to keep your eyes open as you watch him in the mirror. “What was that last part, sweetheart? Didn’t catch that. Who do you belong to, pretty girl?” He smirks, fighting off his own release until you say what he wants to hear.

“You, Joel,” you whine, the overstimulation setting in. “Say it again,” he growls. “You, baby, you!” You shout, and that’s all it takes to send him over the edge. He shoots his warm load into you, coating your aching walls. There’s so much, it’s leaking out onto your thighs mixing with your own release.

Joel’s breath stutters as he comes down from his high and sees how big of a mess the two of you made. His cum leaks out of you, mixing with your slick and dribbling into the puddle of your release beneath you. He reaches in between your thighs and gathers cum on his fingers.

“Open your mouth, baby,” he says huskily in your ear. He brushes his fingers against your lips. You welcome them into your mouth, too fucked out to protest. You moan at the taste of the two of you as you suck the cum clean off his fingers.

He pulls his fingers out, turning your head to face him. He crashes his lips into yours in a heady kiss. Your head spins as he groans into your mouth, letting him taste the tangy, salty mixture of the two of you. You pull apart for air, the sound of muffled rock music and panting fills the air.

Your gaze meets Joel’s, a shy chuckle escaping you. “We made a huge mess,” you giggle. Joel goes beet red and breaks out into a toothy grin. “We did. ‘M sorry about your dress, darlin’. Promise I’ll buy ya another one.” You playfully roll your eyes. “It’s okay, Joel. I’m just trying to figure out how I’m gonna get out of here with no clothes,” you tell him.

“Guess I didn’t think that through. You can wear my button-up, I’ve got a work shirt in the car, darlin’,” he offers while pressing a kiss to your shoulder before lifting you off him. You both hiss at the loss. Joel sets you down on the bed, padding to the bathroom rummaging in the cabinets for something.

He returns with a damp washcloth, wiping up the mess you two made off your lower half. You hiss at the sensation when he cleans up your used cunt. “Sorry, honey,” he says while carefully cleaning you up. “It’s okay." He cleans you up in silence, padding to the bathroom to discard the washcloth while you lay back on the bed.

He joins you in bed, sighing as he settles in next to you. You wrap your arms around his middle as he rests his arm behind your neck, rubbing small circles on your arm with his finger.

"What are we gonna tell Jas?" You ask. He whips his head to look at you, the two of you staring at each other for a moment. You two burst into a fit of laughter.

"We'll figure it out together, darlin'. Like we always do," he sighs.

You stare up at him, eyes glazed over, "like we always do."

taglist: @pedrospartner @littlegrungegirlaf @morallyinept @pedrodascal @party-hearses @tinygarbage @bastardmandennis @janaispunk @lizzie-cakes @harriedandharassed

thank y’all sm for reading! 🫶🏼

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller one shot #joel miller tlou #fic: tear you apart

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the-superoriginal · 21 days ago

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A taste of the forbidden fruit

Summary: This should have been just a day like any other. But it ended with something you hadn't even dared to hope to actually happen.

Warning(s): dbf!bucky, short!female!reader, age gap (reader is in her early 20 and Bucky in his mid 30s), kissing, guess you can read it as a gender neutral! reader too?

A/N: I finally finished a/this WIP! Wuhu! (Please, imagine me to wipe the non-existenting sweat from my forehead now.) I am not really satisfied with it through, but I guess I can still publish a updated version one day.

PS: I am awful with writing summaries and titles.

English is not my native language!

You leaned back against the beige jeep of your Dad's best friend, the sun slowly setting after a long day and basking the sky in a mix of orange, lila und blue. "I'll bet 5 Dollar that she won't even remember this tomorrow.", you grinned slightly amused as Bucky came back out of your friend's house again. He had just brought her in like the gentleman he was, because Lucy had drunk just a bit too much. And considering your height difference and the fact she weighed a bit more you hadn't been able to bring her in. The man chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit as he rounded his car, pointing at you for a moment while opening the driver's seat door. "Deal."

He may be a gentleman but he could have fun too.

Your grin widened as you seated yourself in the passenger seat again. Bucky following just a second later. His cologne hit you after the doors were closed and he started to drive. It tickled your nose, his scent a pleasing mix of the cologne and him — musky, old books and motor oil.

It wasn't the first time you noticed it and you were sure it wouldn't be the last. He was your father's best friend after all which inevitably meant that he was at least once a week in your parents house and also had physical contact with you occasionally.

"There we are.", Bucky mumbled as he opened the passenger door for you, helping you out with his larger hand wrapped around yours. You chuckled a bit, ignoring the warmth his touch sent through you. "You don't need to do that, you know that, yeah?"

He just smiled, revealing his laugh lines to you again as he closed the door behind you, letting go of your hand in the progress. He was beautiful and you screwed for catching yourself thinking it more and more recently. "I know. But I wanted to do it.", he simply said and you cursed internally for how it made your heart skip.

"You coming in too?", you asked while already making your way to the front door. You hoped he would. Just so you could spend a bit more time with him. Especially now where it were just you two. Without your parents or friends. Bucky chuckled lightly as you opened the door, his words soft. "Of course."

A few hours passed filled with laughter and shared stories. By now the sky was dark to make room for the moon and stars. "And then I spilled my coffee on him.", you ended your story with a chuckle. It wasn't embarrassing to you anymore. There had been enough time passed between the happening of the story and now. Bucky chuckled, his forearms resting on the kitchen isle were you two were seated since a while. "Well, that's one way to do it."

"It's a good way through. 'Cause it worked." He shook his head lightly in disbelief, still grinning while you took a sip from your hot cocoa. The liquid flowing down your throat pleasantly. His blue eyes catched yours as you set the cup on the isle and suddenly something shifted. His eyes held a glint that you hadn't seen before. They seemed lighter, sparkling in a way.

Bucky leaned a bit closer and you weren't sure if he even noticed it himself, his gaze dropping lower for a second and your heart skipped in ancipaction. There was clearly something unspoken lingering in the air, not able to be missed. A desire, longing. Yet there was also the unfiltered reality in the back of your mind, your inner voice arguing to lean back or away. To do anything to break this spell that lay over you two. Bucky was older than you and, the even more important part, he was your father's best friend.

But then his lips brushed yours. A barely there touch, so featherlight that yours eyes falled closed on their own accord, and the voice got quieter. He gave you the chance to pull away and simultaneously tested the waters. You gathered your courage and then you pressed your lips against his.

Bucky breathed quietly out and then he kissed you fully, his hands finding their way on your cheeks, holding your face delicately while your lips melted together in a gentle symphony full of longing and desire. You didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but when he parted your hands had a soft grip on his shirt. God, you have never been kissed like this before.

"We will figure this out.", he whispered quietly after moments were your inner voice had come back. His words were a promise that this wasn't just a fleeting thing. That they would be more. That he wanted more.

#marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #dbf!bucky barnes #dbf!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader #dbf!bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x female reader #dbf!bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes fluff

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remember-the-fanfics · 7 months ago

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Belated April Fool's! Had this thought on the first but was at work so enjoy it now!

If GenZ!Overlord!Reader went to Heaven instead of hell

I lost any kind of format along the way, tell me if you find it, I would like it back.

• You appeared at the Golden/Pearly gates in a panic confused state, yelling as soon as you saw the person watching over the gate.

• Scaring Saint Peter which made him yell and then you both were yelling

"Why are you screaming?!"

"Because you were screaming!"

"Well I'm sorry for screaming! Where am I?!

• Saint Peter told you this was Heaven and ask for your name, after giving it he confirmed you were ment to be here.

• Asking him how you died because it was a blur to remember

• Telling you only the Seraphim would know and that you would get some of it back when you adjust to being a Winner.

• Cue you walking off to find a Seraphim before he finished and Peter quickly following you because you have no idea where you were going.

• Quickly running into Emily talking to some winners, seeing you with Peter went to greet you.

• Seeing you were young, more young than most Winners when they appear, most usually have mid 20's to mid 40's age look.

• Asking her if she would know how you died.

• Emily telling you that Sera would know being the High Seraphim.

"Why is her name is just a part of Seraphim?"

• Emily lead you and Peter to Sera's office.

• Sera confused on why would Emily and Peter bring a new winner to her.

• Asking your question again, Sera repeated Peter saying you'll remember in time.

"I wasn't alone before I died! I just want to know if-."

"You're sibling is alive, you made quite sure of that."

"Oh thank God... Wait can I say that here?"

• You left with Peter for him to show you to where you would stay in Heaven.

• You quickly became friends with Emily, getting to know most of the winners and angels that go to her.

• Emily enjoyed having someone younger than her to hang out with, well technically physically she's older than most of the winners but mentally she's older than you.

• She even showed you how to fly with your new wings with minor issues.

• You had barely any control to begin with so when you got high enough your wings decided to forget how to fly.

• Ending with you crashing on the ground or into people.

• One time you crashed into a window of Sera's office, one of your few injuries in Heaven.

"(Y/n)! You need to be more careful of yourself." Said Sera, quickly coming over to you. "Are you alright?"

"Oh shoot, I'm sorry!" You said getting off the ground trying to shake off shards of glass. "I told Emily that I shouldn't fly in the area yet.." You quickly noticed you had cuts, that were bleeding gold.

"You're injured, let's me see it." Said Sera before hovering her hand over you, with a subtle light, she had quickly healed your injuries. "There, you should be healed now."

You looked up at her with awe in your eyes.

"You can do magic?!"

• Quickly asking her if you could do magic

• Saying that you could probably do small amount like the rest of the winners to help with day to day.

• Emily came in and you rushed to her with a new found interest and Emily was quickly on border to help you learn

• Almost leaving Sera alone to clean up the mess you made before making your way back but she ushered you and Emily away saying she could handle it.

• Quickly your lessons with Emily turned into flying and magic lessons with the help of other winners.

• Finally getting the hag of flying, you flew through what magic that you could be taught from the winners.

• After finding an injured Angel that you never before with what hopefully not blood on them (you didn't ask)

• She did not want to be seen by any of the winner when you appeared out of nowhere.

• You were young for even a winner, she noticed quickly, wondering why a child was bothering her.

• Asking if her wing was alright, it looked like it went though hell.

• Saying yes before hissing in pain when you faintly touched it

"If you thought it was injured why would you touch it?!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you!"

• Quickly shutting up when in a flash of light of your own, healed her wing.

• Still apologizing to her and introducing yourself.

• She introduced her self as Vaggie, saying she was apart of Heaven's Army.

• You obviously questioned why Heaven had an army since it's Heaven.

• Vaggie said it was for incase anything happened, explaining her injury as training gone wrong.

• You believed her, not knowing what day it was and where she was just before.

• You told her to be more careful and if she ever want, you could meet up again.

• After giving her where to usually find you during the day, leaving to find Emily to tell her.

• Emily was with Sera for the day, so you found both of them.

• Explaining what had happen to the two of them.

"You must be alot strong than most Winners, (Y/n)." Said Emily, looking to Sera for information.

"Yes, usually only Angel could heal or do any decent amount of magic, I'll have to see about." Said Sera. "Why don't you two go celebrate (Y/n)'s magic with some ice cream? I'll look into this."

• Sera quickly got into contact with the winner turned archangel, Adam, about meeting with you.

• Telling to not be to inappropriate around you nor tell you anything that he shouldn't.

• He said he would try atleast.

• You meet Adam and Lute at a train area that you never seen before because usally winner dont come over here

• Neither of the two was expecting someone so young so Adam didn't think you were actually (Y/n).

• After realizing who you were, instantly trys to get you make a holy beam of light to shot something because he's never really met someone who died and was possibly almost as powerful as he is.

• He's still number one

• After demonstrated what he ment, you did it on a less large scale because damn Adam just about destroyed a whole chunk of the ground.

"Well Danger tits, I don't think we're dealing with a winner anymore. They're fucking archangel like me!" Said Adam watching you do some minor things he showed you.

"Do you think Sera would let them know or join us, sir?" Asked Lute.

"Ha fuck no." Said Adam laughing, "If you haven't noticed they close with Emily and they're a kid."

"The file that Sera sent over is that they died just after they turned 18." Said Lute. "...Protecting their brother, sir." Adam stiffened at the mentioned of it.

"Of course... the old man does like doing shit in mysterious ways." Said Adam, noticing (Y/n) was talking to another recruit.

"Hey Vauh-gie!" He yelled across the area before heading towards the two.

"Adam, sir." Said Vaggie, (Y/n) noticing the way Adam said Vaggies name.

"Why you over here talking to the recruit kid?" Asked Adam, using (Y/n) as something to lean on.

"Just catching up, she was wondering why I was here." Said (Y/n).

• Lute quickly got Vaggie to leave you and Adam some inane task while you told Adam he said Vaggie's name wrong.

• He told you he knew her name and he was correct but you defend her saying it's her name, she decided how it pronounced.

• You soon had weekly training with Adam and sometimes Lute, who wanted you to have some fighting skill.

• But Lute quickly found out that you wouldn't fight unless absolutely needed to

• Having a way with words you could talk down any arguments that the exorcists had when they would have solved it in a fight

• Lute would rather have them brawl than listen to another conversation about talking about your feelings.

• You quickly became a favorite among most of the exorcist, being around Adam and Lute most times.

• The two treated you like a kid most of the time when you weren't training.

• Adam saw the betterment of Humanity in you, reminding him of what his first two sons could have been like

• Being the opposite of what happened to Able and Cain does that.

• Lute saw you as reason to keep Heaven safe

• Not wanting you to ever actually use your training to protect yourself

• Because why would you? You're in Heaven, nothing can hurt you, right?

• You would show Emily what you could do after every training session.

• You learned how to make non-dangerous fireworks to help Emily bring joy to the winners.

• Sera would tell you that God had chosen you to be an archangel, that would usally come with a job but you were to young for any of it so she let you help with Emily job.

• You were a chaotic force of good to excit people, telling them new kind of jokes.

• Emily had to stop you from making to many dark humor jokes, everyday.

• Some Winners would ask if something was still a thing and you had no idea what they were talking about Like 'Wat?'

• Then them explaining what it was and purpose.

• You would never have to take a history class again with how much people talk about the past to you.

• Winners would forget that you are too young for something.

"You had to use a brick as phone?"

• Having friends with most angels and winners was nice, you were just as popular as Emily these days.

• Then Adam and Lute came back from what they told you was a training expedition that they do yearly.

• With Vaggies halo (they disposed of her wings, to graphic for you to see.)

• Lute and Adam explained that Vaggie had died in an accident after betraying Heaven.

"Oh... I thought Angels couldn't die?" You muttered, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes.

"She stopped being Protected by... the holy light when she betrayed us." Said Lute, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Don't think sweat about it, kid. You still have these two badasses here to keep you safe." Said Adam.

"I didn't think I could lose anyone here.

• The two tried to comfort you, never seeing you cry before.

• In their own messed up way.

• Cursing vaggie in vain in their heads.

• They hung around you the next few days, keeping you company while you mourn your friend.

• Emily would bring you snacks to try and cheer you up.

• Sera sent a letter saying that she wished you well and take the time you need.

• The next few year went in a blur, everyday was the same.

• Helping Emily with the winner, train with Adam and Lute, chat with Sera every few days, and having lunch with Saint Peter.

• You never would have guess that time worked differently than on earth.

• Definitely not expecting your younger brother showing up one day, being older than you.

• Finding you with Emily, the same age you were that day.

"(Y/n)?" He said looking right at you, you looked confused for a second before realizing who he was.

"Frederick? Freddy? What are you doing here?! You should be alive!" You said before rushing for a bone crushing hug.

"I died at 87, I'm guess time works differently up here." He said, "I knew you would be up here, I lived a good life and done good things just for the possibility to see you again."

"I missed you! Let me tell you everything!" You said,

• Introducing Emily to your brother and telling her you need to catch up.

• She excitedly ushered you away saying she can handle things.

• Emily told Sera after the day was done

• Frederick answered all your questions and you answered his.

"So am I your older brother now?"

"Not a chance. You're still my little brother, just not quite that little anymore."

• Introducing him to everyone, not taking an issue when Sera wanted to meet him alone.

• Sera wanted to see if he had any magical prowess like you did.

• He had more than a normal winner but not enough to be in the class of Archangel like you and Adam.

"Would you do anything to protect (Y/n)? They are quite naiveté when it comes to certain things, being so young when they died. You're older and wiser than them now."

• Sera gaslighting

• Frederick questioned where it was going and had to swear not to tell a soul about what Sera was about to say.

• He was surprised when told than Heaven sent angel down to hell to kill sinners.

• Sera telling him that she didn't tell (Y/n) about this because of their age and unwilling to hurt people without reason.

• But he had time and age to come to term that somethings need to happen for the greater good.

• So he joined in with Adam and Lute, training for the extermination day.

• Telling you that he wanted to train his magic as well with them.

• Adam meeting the last peice of the puzzle of your death, who you died protecting, your own brother.

• Adam got along with him well enough, being a bad influence on him.

• Lute trained him on fighting, going hard to make sure he could protect Heaven and you.

• Probably had a version of out of love, the toxic version.

• After another portion of time, Emily told you that the princess of hell was coming for a meeting to talk about the redemption of sinners souls.

• You were excited about the concept, seeing potential about it.

• Youre brother didn't think so, telling you that they were in Hell for a reason.

• Sera didn't want Emily or you to meet anyone coming from Hell but the two of you convinced her.

• Meeting up with the group after they got past the gate.

• Seeing Charlie and someone who looked very familiar

• Clapping after Peter and Emily's song.

"Good job Em and Pete!" You said cheering the two.

"So um who are exactly?" Asked Charlie, exited to meet another angel.

"Oh I'm (Y/n), I help Emily to keep the Winners happy. I'm an winner turned Archangel like old man Adam." Introducing yourself to the two.

"You're friends with Adam?!" Said Charlie, not expecting Adam to actually have friends.

"Yep, trained me. He's been training my brother now of days, Freddy."

• She wasn't expecting you to be siblings with one of the main antagonist from her meeting with Adam.

• Frederick kept shutting her idea down and trashed talked her along with Lute.

• You were the exact opposite of your brother.

• When Adam, Lute, and your brother saw you with Charlie and Vaggie showing them around with Emily and Sera.

• They were pissed, Lute had to stop both from trying to fight them in the open.

"They don't need to be influenced by a hellspawn."

• When Adam and Lute went to bothered Vaggie, Frederick went to you to the Zoo.

• Keeping an eye on Charlie and making side japs at her until you intervened.

"Dude if you're gonna be a butt to her then leave."

• He quickly stopped making fun of Charlie, just stared at her from your side.

• With Lute and Adam, they questioned if you realized who Vaggie was.

• With a no, they said how unimportant she must have been.

• In the court room, you stood next Adam.

• Pointing out hole in his responses.

• After believing that this Angel Dust should be here, you questioned with Emily.

• With the big extermination day reveal, you and Emily were shocked.

• "Neither of you knew?"

• That what Adam and Lute does once every year, and now with your brother

"I just want to protect you, this is for the great good, you will not get hurt for me again."

"I don't need to be protected! There's no good in any of this, you hurt me doing so."

• Then the whole Vaggie reveal, you were pissed at Adam and Lute.

"You said she died! You hurt her and left her there to do so! You let me mourn when she was alive!"

"Kid, listen she didn't do what was needed so we didn't need her anymore! She defied the order and must of paid the price."

"There would be nothing to pay if you didn't murder anyone! She spared a kid, younger than I, and you said she defied the order? There is no order to this!"

• Then you were arguing with everyone you trusted but Emily.

• Sera dismissing the court saying no soul in Hell could be saved.

• Then Adams threat to Charlie's hotel, portaling the two back.

• You decided that you weren't gonna sit here safe while they fright for their soul

• You weren't a kid like Heaven treated you.

• So you jumped in after them to fight against everyone you knew.

Just some facts between hell and Heaven Genz!Reader

• When in hell you had to learn to be grown up quickly, while Heaven kept treating you as a kid.

• Frederick wouldn't be an antagonist in the hell version because he wouldn't have a reason to be

• I was gonna write about your older sibling but I'm tried, I've been working on this for a week+

• The end is up to fate, do you fight Heaven and get stuck in hell or does your old friends and family drag you back?

• Most youngs souls that died get reborn but there are some cases that slip though so they would be stuck where ever they got sent.

• Heaven you is less chaotic and speak your mind because it's Heaven,

Okay love yall I'm gonna go look at other fanfics

#genz reader #au #hazbin hotel #platonic hazbin hotel #platonic #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin sera #sara seraphim #emily hazbin hotel #emily seraphim #saint peter hazbin hotel #hazbin lute #hazbin adam #oc #happy april fools #late late i know

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everythingmp3 · 3 months ago

Text

𝐚 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

AO3

this is a combination of the ideas: no outbreak AU + reader starts working at a summer camp + Tess runs the place + instant attraction + forbidden relationship

authors note: hi, I´m back with a new Tess fic! I recently read the book "The God of the Woods", which I really enjoyed, and one character reminded me of her, so that prompted the idea of making the setting a summer camp. it is a slow-burn, but still, a decent part of this is them being together! I tried to make the vibe of this fic warm and atmospheric bc I wanted it to be easy to escape into! I put a good amount of love and thought into this, so I really hope you’ll enjoy reading it<3

warnings: minors dni. large age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Tess is in her early to mid 40s), smut (reader receiving), brief mentions of injury/blood (nothing graphic or violent)

wordcount: 30k

the first thing you thought, when you stood in front of the entrance to the camp on that first day, was “why the fuck did I agree to this”.

you were sweating from the strain of carrying your bags, from the relentless heat of the midday sun, you were surrounded by kids and teenagers who were bidding farewell to their parents, and in the middle of all that, you had no idea why on earth you´d picked that of places to spend your summer. you´d already spent the entire year of college surrounded by people in classes, in lectures, in the library, in your dorm, so it seemed like you´d blacked out when you had sent off your resume to a summer camp, a place where you would have just as little space and time to just be by yourself.

still, there were two things that put you at ease in that moment of regret: firstly, the undeniably stunning scenery, the woods that reached as far as your eye could reach, trees taller than any you´d ever seen, the faint glistening surface of a lake visible in the distance; secondly, the girl who was a few years older than you, clearly a colleague, who noticed the forlorn look on your face and immediately took you under her wing. she´d already worked there a few summers, so she gave you a quick rundown of what you had to do to get settled as you made your way onto the camp-grounds. she succeeded in calming your nerves by saying things like “it´s really not that much work, we have a few hours of activity during the day and then some get-togethers at night, but other than that we´re usually pretty free to do whatever we want”.

by the time you joined her in the staff building and got signed in, received a card of the grounds and got told which cabin and group you´d be the leader of, you felt like you might have overreacted, that you might end up having a better time than anticipated.

the girl you´d just gotten to know, pointed at a door down the hallway of the building and said “I´ll go but you should probably check in with Tess, since you´re new. she´s the overseer of this place, the boss so to speak, the one you have to respond to if there´s any issue with the kids. she can be a bit.. well, intimidating let´s say, but don´t worry, she´s cool, for the most part. she´ll tell you the rest of what you need to know.”

intimidating. you considered it, an interesting word to use for someone who spent all their time working with kids, it peaked your interest, so you knocked on the office door, and cracked it open once you heard a “yes, come in”.

the first thing you noticed when you walked in and saw Tess sitting there, was her hair. she was in the process of pulling a hair-tie out of it and adjusted it a bit as she beckoned you closer, the ashy brunette color with faint streaks of gray fell down her face in a way that briefly had you standing there in the doorframe, before you averted your gaze and went to sit down in the chair across from hers. she was striking in a way few women had ever been to you. it wasn´t easily explicable, the way no immediate, deep attraction to someone is. it was purely physical, a tingling sensation as soon as you felt her attention turn towards you, her forearms exposed where she´d pushed her sleeves up, her voice smooth and deep, her clothes comfortable and worn out but perfectly suited for her. before she said anything, she took a good, long look at you, scanning you to get the first clues about what kind of a girl she was dealing with, no hint in her expression whether she was pleased by who her superiors had sent her, a brief nervous shifting in your seat, which made her soften a bit, just a bit, as she launched into her usual introductory meeting with new workers.

her first thought when you walked in had been “thank god it´s not a guy”. the most trouble she´d had in her time there, had always been with male workers, it was undeniable, that Tess favored the women, in more ways than one, but that wasn´t on her mind yet in that moment, not yet.

she presented you with the rules very matter of factly, leaning forward, her hands folded on the table, looking straight at you as you tried not to let your eyes wander to her fingers, a sternness to her tone that somehow made you feel warm, that wasn´t unpleasant.

“so, new girl.” she said, “the work here really isn´t complicated. we have a few basic rules: you don´t leave the premises on your own, unless there´s a very good reason and you notify me or someone else on the team. there is no service, no wifi, except for in this building, so if you need to call someone or send an email or whatever, you can only do it here, during the day. there is breakfast, lunch, and dinner but we have a staff kitchen in here, where you can help yourself out if you want to. if you get sick, we have medical staff who will take care of you, they have pain killers and other things you might need”.

she went on, a few more obvious rules about behavior with the kids, dos and don'ts for the staff. the last part she said, was said with an inflection that signaled that she was aware you wouldn´t always follow those specific rules, that she just had to say it for protocol: “lights out and curfew is at 10. no walking around outside after that hour. no drinking, no smoking, or whatever other drugs you might be into.” that made you smile then, a nod, you understood, she could tell that you weren´t daft, that you were picking up what she was putting down: “break the rules if you want, but be clever about it, don´t let it get out of hand, be fucking smart”.

the entire time she was talking, you found yourself enjoying her unflinching gaze, the way she didn´t soften her voice or her demeanor to suck up to you, you could tell that she was not the type for chit-chat or flattery and you liked it, it suited her, it felt reassuring, to have someone like her overseeing the place, someone who was tough and unyielding but not in a mean way.

it was clear that Tess cared about one thing: good work and reliability. she would overlook certain miniscule things that more strict bosses might not have, but it became clear very fast that you´d suffer consequences if she caught you slacking off. she was deeply invested in the kids´ safety, telling you “when you´re out and about with them, walking around, keep count. keep fucking count, I mean that, do it more than you think is necessary, if you´re walking, or sitting around somewhere, just take a few seconds every few once in a while to make sure they´re all still there. we´ve had it happen that someone didn´t notice for hours that a kid was gone, and I won´t have that again. got it?”.

you nodded, in fact a bit intimidated then, but she just needed you to understand how urgent it was, to avoid another scandal like the one the summer before where a kid had been missing for three hours until the responsible worker noticed.

if there was one thing Tess couldn´t stand, it was a blasé attitude of those who were in charge of other people´s safety, she didn´t play about it, she was a fierce protector and expected everyone around her to be too. there´d been times where kids had thought her to be heartless until someone randomly hurt themselves and was carried to the medics by her with a care and tenderness that stunned them. it was a reason why the camp had loyal returners, the fact that she instilled a kind of style in all of the workers that made the kids feel both safe and free.

just as you got up after that first meeting and went to leave, she called your name, meeting your eyes for a last time as she leaned back in her chair, the first genuine smile from her as she said “oh, almost forgot: welcome. I hope you´ll have a good summer here. we´re glad to have you” playing with a pen and overdoing the friendliness in her tone, a hint of humor there because Tess was aware that she´d completely missed the opportunity to open your conversation the polite way, the way others might have, but you gave her a nod that made it clear that you were fine with her straight-forwardness. “thank you, I will, I´m sure. see you around.”

once you left the room, she just stared out of the window for a moment, watching some of the others walking around, the sky a perfect blue, while she thought “at least a few kids are gonna have a huge crush on her”. she was not gonna admit it to herself, that she was projecting, not after only having exchanged so few words with you. Tess thought of herself as better than that, better than meeting a new employee and fawning over her after only a few minutes of talking. she´d succeeded in steering clear of any complicated employee-boss dynamics for years and years, and she wasn´t gonna jeopardize that, she refused. at least, that´s what she told herself during the beginning. still, she took a good long glance at the file on you she´d been given, scanning it for any interesting info, sounding out your full name under her breath, until she eventually put it back down and pretended she hadn´t just given herself away, even thought there was no witnesses who could hold her to it.

you had a similar experience. you weren´t thinking explicitly about your attraction to her, you just felt an inkling of it, while walking back out of the building with a faint smile on your face, her voice still fresh in your mind. it was the thing that had left the strongest impression, how she talked, her mannerisms, something about it was exactly to your liking. you found yourself hoping she wasn´t just the kind of boss who stayed out of everyone´s way, that she´d join in during activities and hang around here and there, that you´d have the chance to know a bit more about her, see her interacting with others, get a read on her, because you could tell that she was not the type to give anything about herself easily. you even hoped for a moment that one of the kids would give you trouble, so you could have a reason to go back to her office and talk to her in private again, but then, you quickly got distracted yourself by the task of inspecting the campgrounds and talking to your new coworkers, most of whom luckily seemed chill and welcoming. to your relief, you had a room to yourself in the back of the cabin that you´d been assigned to, glad to feel like you´d lucked out with your group of girls, most of them aged between ten and fifteen.

later that night, after successfully managing your first day (settling in, unpacking, making your bed, attending the welcome meeting, lunch, some ice-breaker activities, all that) you walked over to the building you´d been to earlier, to go to the staff kitchen and get some iced water from the fridge, your empty bottle swinging back and forth as you walked there, freshly showered, dressed for sleep in some shorts and a thin tank top. it was still hot at that hour, the lingering July heat hanging over the camp in a way that was not oppressive because there was enough freshness in the air from the lake nearby.

the building wasn´t dark, so you figured that Tess was still in her office, as you made your way down to the kitchen, which she was, until a few moments later when she locked the door behind her and heard you moving around.

she could have just left, but something told her that it might be you, and she was curious how you were doing after your first day, so she stood in the door frame for a moment, slightly taken off-guard by seeing more of your physique than earlier, before she knocked, accompanied by a quiet “hey there”.

you toned down your smile a bit before you turned around and closed the cap of your full bottle before you looked at her. “oh hey! still here at this hour?” you asked, walking over to her to follow her outside, since you were done there. she nodded, “hm, yeah, first days are always a bit busy, but it´s fine. what about you, how was it? you regretting it already?” a grin as she said this, holding the door for you to step outside ahead of her. “oh sure, it was awful, horrible, really, I´ll put in my resignation tomorrow morning”, you joked back, eventually facing her as you both stood outside in the pleasant evening atmosphere, she nodded, a smile, pleased by the fact that you weren´t shy around her, weren't afraid to mess with her a bit.

“how are the girls in your cabin? all behaving so far?”, she asked, the word “behaving” from her lips somehow a turn-on. “oh good, all good” you said, reassuring her, trying to come across as laid-back, to match her energy, “tired from traveling here of course, but they´re all sweet, funny too, which is nice. did have to comfort one of them earlier who was homesick already and embarrassed about it”. that peaked her interest then, your first test of sorts, “oh yeah? how´d you do that?” she crossed her arms and eyed you with a curious smile.

you shrugged, shifting your weight, clutching the cold bottle to your chest, “well, I told her that soon there´ll come a time where she´ll wish she had some distance between her and her parents. to enjoy the freedom, to do or say things her mother wouldn´t approve of, just for the sake of it, all that. it worked, thank god”. you´d passed the test, she could tell that you were somehow naturally skilled at your new task. “hm. sounds like they´re in good hands then, good job”, “I try”, she nodded, fussing with her keys then, her hands busy as she looked at you, “well, whatever it is you´re trying, keep doing it, new girl”, a sudden sparkle in your eyes as the nickname hung in the air.

her gaze fell to where you were scratching your arm absentmindedly, a mosquito bite probably, so she pointed at it, more serious then “okay stop that, don´t scratch it open” she pulled something out of her bag then and handed it over to you. “here, aloe cream, it helps. keep it, I´m sure the girls in your cabin might need some too. apply it generously over night”, a nod from you as you took it from her, a brief brushing of her fingers that sent a shock through your whole body. “okay I will” a moment of silence then, a shared look of “I think I like you” between you before you cleared your throat and said, “well then, have a good night, Tess”.

you didn´t have to say her name like that, a simple “good night” would have been polite enough, so she took note of it, a restrained smile, that didn´t give away how eager she was to figure you out, to understand how much of your friendliness was really just friendly. “yeah, you too” she didn´t say your name, she was better than you at feigning indifference, but something about the way she´d looked at you, a certain flicker in her eyes, it was just visible enough to give you a fragile sense of hope, that you weren´t entirely alone in your unexpected feelings.

on her way back to her cabin, she took a deep breath and told herself “she´s your employee. even if that was some kind of flirting, even if she did like you, it´s irrelevant, she´s off-limits. she is not the one for you.”

but she knew that the fact that she even needed to give herself a reminder, was a bad sign. all the years before, she´d noticed when workers were attractive, when one or two of them were maybe her type in some way, she´d caught glances here and there when they were near her, but it was never connected to an actual desire to act on it; that was the key difference, with previous interest it had always been light and fun, she was fine with enjoying small-talk with a pretty girl who worked for her, since she had never felt the urge to reach out and touch them.

she´d never felt a sense of danger in her attraction but with you, it was palpable, she laid in bed later that night and felt both thrilled and afraid - thrilled because it had been a good while since anyone had challenged her, had intrigued her and pulled her in without even trying hard, afraid because she could tell that you were getting under her skin already, because she had to banish any thoughts of you in compromised positions from her mind, because she told herself “you cannot get fired over some fucking fling. forget about it.”.

that night she didn´t sleep much, drifting in and out of dreams that gave her flashes of someone, completely nude, a glimpse of a girl´s thighs as she got out of the water and dried off, water dripping down her body, the sun glistening on her wet skin, she never saw a face, but she didn´t have to, when she woke up, she knew it had been you in the dream, her body hot all over from it, the urge to do something about it, a brief moment of almost giving into it: getting off to the images that were still fresh in her mind. but Tess was stubborn, she kept her hands over the covers, let herself suffer through the lingering need she felt, that her subconscious had forced upon her, despite everything she´d told herself the night before. she´d have to try harder, to overpower her instincts with sheer willpower. she´d have to get a grip.

after agonizing about it for a few minutes, she got up and tried to shrug it off. she splashed her face with cool water, put on her tank top and flannel and shorts, laced up her boots, and stepped outside, the cool morning air helping with getting back into her usual mindset: focused, unshakable, stoic.

the next few days, you rarely spoke to Tess for more than a few seconds, only brief encounters, seeing each other from across the main area and nodding politely, or saying “good morning” when you entered the dining hall at the same time, but still, her presence was always affecting you in a way, she was like a shadow, a quiet magnitude to her aura that could easily be missed by people less intrigued by her than you.

there were hundreds of people around you, all day, and yet, your attention was subconsciously drawn to her, always a brief scan over the dining hall or the main area to see if she was sitting or standing somewhere near you. the feeling was comforting in a way, to be tethered to someone by a strong pull, a warmth to it, that thrill you felt when she was close, when you were both talking to people but you hoped that she´d glance over at you, your posture immediately better when you thought about this, your face more expressive.

her presence always made you more aware of your own body, your mannerisms, and it was a delicious kind of secret, to move around the camp grounds with the constant anticipation of seeing her, being seen by her, preferably both. it was useless to pretend otherwise, you were already wondering if she found you appealing, if you could somehow find a way to get closer to her.

the fact that she wasn´t a worker, that she wasn´t assigned to a specific group, made it so that she just drifted in and out, watching some of you as you did your activities with the kids, leaning against a tree for a few minutes and observing it all, or stopping on her way to walk somewhere else to talk with some of the kids or counselors.

you could tell that everyone seemed to respect her, seemed to gravitate towards her when she offered a few minutes of her attention.

one afternoon you were busy sitting around and drawing with the kids, when out of nowhere you looked up and saw that she was at the table next to you, helping a girl out with her painting, diligent and skilled, a pleased smile on the girl´s face when Tess adjusted some of the details for her, before getting up and drifting off again as quietly as she´d joined in. this happened more than once, that she didn´t make a big announcement and just checked up on everyone, never overbearing or judgy, always curious and generous with her subdued way of showing that she cared, about everything that was going on.

one afternoon, about four days into your stay, stood out in your mind. it was a particularly hot day, everyone was dressed in as little clothing as possible, including her: cut off shorts that ended mid-thigh and a white tank-top that showed off her tanned arms, her shoulders, her generally very impressive physique. she didn´t have the kind of muscles that people gained by going to the gym, they were the natural, slightly softer kind of muscles that were the natural result of a lot of outside activity, her upper arms big and strong but not freakishly so, not in a way that seemed try-hard or vain, you could tell that she just naturally a muscular woman, that it didn´t take much for her to look like that, your eyes constantly drawn to her thighs, the faint freckles that somehow made her look even hotter.

you were sitting in the shade, drinking your third bottle of water that day, trying but failing to read a book, when you spotted her from afar, checking up on the other people who were lingering around, all sluggish and lethargic from the heatwave that had hit the woods that day. you smiled as you realized that she was making sure everyone was healthy, drinking enough, not at risk of heatstroke, reminding the kids to not jump into the lake but to let their bodies adjust to the colder temperature, reminding them to minimize physical activity overall, to reapply sunscreen, to eat enough, to tell someone if they felt dizzy or needed a break, a nap.

she was about to turn around and go back to her office, when she saw you looking, and felt the need to make sure you were okay too, so you tried to act normal as she approached you, putting her foot up on the wooden bench across from the one you were sitting on, a casual air about her as she asked, “hey there. how are you holding up? all good?”.

you nodded, putting your book down to pay full attention to her, her face instead of her legs or arms. “yeah thanks, I´m managing. I mean, I feel a bit dead but other than that, all good”, that made her smile, “I hear you, it´s rarely this hot, tomorrow´s supposed to be cooler again, don´t worry”.

she grinned then, something was amusing to her, so you leaned forward, eyeing her, “something funny?”. Tess pointed at your book that was laying facedown on the table, “I saw you yesterday with that and from the looks of it you haven´t made a dent, at all” an admission in there: that she´d seen you, when you hadn´t been aware. it made your face feel even hotter than it already was. you pretended to be a bit offended “well, in this heat, can you blame me for not being able to concentrate?”, she put her hands on her hips, “sort of yeah. where there´s a will…” she was teasing, you couldn´t help but smile. “right. well, guess I´m just lazy, you got me”.

she dropped the act and talked a bit more earnestly then, sensing that she was venturing into territory that was a bit too friendly, but she didn´t care, “or the book just isn´t good enough to keep your attention. I could give you one of mine later, I think I have a good guess what you might enjoy”, that wasn´t what you'd expected, it seemed like an offer she wouldn´t just make to anyone, but maybe she did, maybe that was her thing, lending people books. still, you hoped it wasn´t, that it was her way of breaching the distance between you a bit further. you nodded, “okay, sure, I´ll take that”,“you´ll have to actually read it though, I´ll ask you questions to make sure you are”, a sort of challenging tone then, a hint of something in her voice that you wanted to read as flirtatiousness.

your face felt hotter by the second as she kept standing there, so close, her hair wavy from the shower she´d took earlier, her face glowing from the sun, and she could tell, you were not hiding it well enough. she found a thrill in it, the sense that she was making you a bit nervous, which reflected her own feelings because she was distracted by the labored breaths you were taking, the way you ran your fingers through your hair, the way you leaned your head on your hand at one point, an exhausted but deeply endearing expression that you directed her way- she had the urge to sit down and just watch you as you pretended to read, to go and get you an iced drink, to spend time with you, get to know you.

you changed the subject then, preventing her from leaving when you saw that she was about to. “you seem fine though, considering the weather, how do you do it?” you asked, pointing at her, the way she didn´t even seem to be sweating at all, she shrugged, “willpower? maybe?”. that made you laugh, “right, you refuse to be overpowered by the sun?”, she nodded, “something like that, yeah”, a moment of silence as you smiled at each other, as you both had the brief fantasy of retreating back to a cabin, to undress, to see the remaining parts of your body that were still hidden by clothing, to feel the warmth of each other´s skin, to tire each other out, to leave each other flushed and eager to feel the eventual cooler night breeze on your bare skin.

there was something about the life at the camp, the constant focus on physical activities, that made it hard not to become all body, all instinct, all animal, you could tell with other counselors that couples formed quickly, that some people randomly disappeared after eyeing each other up and down all day. you could tell with the kids too, that crushes were being added to catalog of infatuations between boys and girls and girls and girls and boys and boys all day, one shared moment of sitting on the ground and touching knees enough to activate some part of the body that wants to be wild in the surroundings of nature, impulses that were impossible to fight back against.

Tess was the one to interrupt your shared moment of want, removing her foot from the bench and standing upright again to give you a brief goodbye and leave you alone, the image of your fingers drawing circles on the wooden table in front of you burned into her mind for some reason, just like the image of your lips and cheeks flushed from the warmth, the tone of your voice, sweeter and slower in that moment than before, reaching a part of her that had long gone untouched, unmoved.

sure enough, later during dinner she made sure to keep her promise.

you were about to leave the dining hall, as you saw her waving you over to her table, so you abandoned your group for a moment and stood in front of her as she held out a book to you, a relatively big one, by the looks of it well-loved and read multiple times. “here. I´m expecting you to finish this by next week” she was fucking with you, but part of you wanted to prove to her that you could actually manage that, so you said “alright. I will” taking it from her and flipping through it briefly, delighted by the fact that there were underlined passages in there, comments in the margins, you wondered if she´d forgotten about all that when she picked it out to give to you because that was a pretty intimate thing to hand over, her thoughts all over hundreds of pages like that. you were both tired from the hot day, both silent for a moment, a sort of shy smile from you then, as you looked down at her confident expression, the obvious joy she took in being a bit teacher-y with you, having a rapport that was bordering on something other than just boss-employee.

eventually, you saw that your group was leaving, so you pulled yourself out of that moment of quiet, warm familiarity with her, and said a brief thank you, following the girls you were in charge of back out as she finished her dinner and tried her best not to let anyone at her table clock the way she was staring at your back as you walked out.

a moment during that first week that stood out to her was one a few days later. you took your group to go swim in the lake because it was a perfect day, the breeze just right. you spent some of the time making sure all of the teens were behaving, not overdoing it with how far they were swimming out, lingering in the shallow parts of the lake with the younger kids and enjoying the cooling water on your body. a while later, when everyone was bit tired out and tanning in the shade, you laid on your towel and read the book she´d given you, your bikini still damp, your skin slowly drying, flipping over on your stomach every once in a while.

what you weren´t aware of, was that during the middle of all that, Tess had sat down at the dock nearby with a bit of paperwork she had to get to, so she could do it while dangling her legs in the lake. you were near enough for her to realize that it was you, and it was impossible for her not to stare. she was enthralled by it, everything, how you looked getting out of the water, how the water had dripped down your back, the way your body looked in the sun, every single outline of your muscles visible, every detail on display, an almost guilty feeling then, as she couldn´t tear her eyes away even when you were just lounging in the shade. a few times that early afternoon, she caught you sitting with your head on your knees, your arms around your shins, staring off into the distance, not a sad but pensive expression, something about your demeanor that made her wonder, “what is she thinking about?”.

Tess felt a very human thing then, she craved intimacy and connection all of a sudden in a way that she hadn´t in years. she was good at telling herself that she could do without all that, for years she´d been in denial about her desires, but there you were, and she wanted nothing more than to just sit down and talk to you over dinner, to ask you questions, to watch you. it wasn´t even just with the motive of wanting you in a physical way, even though that was a big part of it, it was also just the rediscovery of a humbling feeling, the feeling of “I want a woman in my life. I want someone to be affectionate with, to show my softer side to.” it was all still there, deep down, and you were bringing it all back up.

she was also increasingly desperate to figure you out because something about you seemed so familiar, in the way that you carried yourself, the way you somehow seemed alone even in the midst of all of the kids and other workers. you seemed to be of a similarly solitary nature, something told her that you were someone she could feel seen by, understood by, and that she might offer you the same in return. she didn´t get shit done, so eventually she dried off her legs, put her shoes back on and abandoned the lake, throwing a last admiring glance your way just as you were getting up to shake out your towel and get dressed.

that night, a few of the kids urged you to go raspberry picking with them in a field nearby, and because you had little else to do, you said yes.

on your way back, carrying the goods in little buckets you´d brought, you were enjoying the soft evening atmosphere, the light of the blue hour, the kids walking in front of you with their fingers and mouths stained red, as Tess made her way down the same path to the main area.

you were too lost in thought to realize that she´d caught up with you, so eventually she smiled and gave you a nudge, “hey”, you startled a bit but quickly returned the smile “oh hey”.

“still at work even at this hour hm?” she said, pointing at the raspberries you were carrying, her voice raspy from talking to people all day, an instinctive step towards her to close some of the distance. “well, this isn´t really hard work, is it?” you smiled at her, she returned it, “ate like half of them already when we were there, they´re really good right now” she nodded, endeared by the image of you kneeling down and plucking them off the bushes, paying close attention.

without asking, she reached over and grabbed a few of the berries, putting one in her mouth as you looked at her, a mischievous flicker in her eyes that told you that she was expecting you to shove her hand away of protest, but you didn´t, a nod instead.

“I don´t mind, in fact, you go and take these, I ate so many already, and they won´t be as good tomorrow”, you said, holding the small bucket out to her as she ate a few more, a squint of her eyes, “if you´re trying to get in my good graces to be employee of the month, I have to disappoint, we don´t do that here”, she was teasing of course, but as always, you played along, “oh fuck, well, that was my plan of course. wasn´t just being nice or anything”. Tess looked like she was enjoying herself, she took the berries from you and put another in her mouth, a vibe between you that felt friendly, too friendly, further away from professional than mere days before. “so, what are you up to now?”, she said, as you neared the area where her cabin was located, which you´d have to pass by to get to yours, “well, not much, shower, take them to bed, try to sleep”, she cocked her head, an inquisitive look then, “try? you're not sleeping well?”, a hint of concern in there. “no, I mean, sometimes it just takes a while to fall asleep. I´m not used to dead silence at night, but it´s fine, it´s cozy in a way”, “sure, takes a while to get used to it. well, if it ever gets too bad I have a tea I could offer, always helps when I can´t sleep. just tell me if you ever wanna try”.

it somehow only added to her appeal, that she always seemed to be invested in everyone´s well-being, everyone´s comfort, yours in particular, it felt special in a way, after months of being entirely self-reliant.

“okay. thanks, I´ll keep it mind”. with that, you´d reached her place, so she excused herself and told you “see you tomorrow” with a pleased grin on her face, which made you wonder what part of your casual exchange had prompted it, what about you made it so that she didn´t just walk past you, but took a moment to say hi, to talk, to slow down her pace to match yours.

once she was gone and you were trying to catch up to the kids in front of you again, you kept thinking about her hands, the image of them reaching over to steal the raspberries, the way her fingers were always clean, even though she lived an outdoorsy life. you´d noticed it before, that she took care of her hands, made a point of keeping her nails as short as possible, no signs of dirt, ever, it made it easy to obsess over that feature of hers, to fantasize, in different ways. in general, Tess always had a fresh air about her, there was this scent that you could pick up on when you were close to her, you had no idea if it was a perfume or cologne or her laundry detergent or her natural scent or a mix of all of those, but it always pulled you closer, always made you want to breathe it in from up close, to have it all over you after embracing her or doing other things. it made you dizzy to imagine having your face by her neck, to kiss her there, to take as long as you wanted to get lost in all the sensations of her body. you tried your best to forget about all this as you had to get your mind straight to not fuck up during your nightly head-count, since nothing would lose you her affection faster than overlooking a missing kid. it made you better at the job, your eagerness to please her, so it was a win-win-win, for her, for you, for the kids, the fact that you were obsessed with her by that point.

a few minutes after leaving you, Tess sat at her dining table, eating the remaining berries, lost in thought, enjoying the feeling of somehow being physically connected to you via the contact all of the berries she was eating had had with your hand, your fingers, your skin.

she liked it, the implicit eroticism of it all, she savored the taste, silence in her cabin as she took her time eating, wondering what you were up to, if you were already laying in bed, if you were maybe also letting your thoughts wander to her, or if something else completely was on your mind, something she had no idea about. she imagined you sitting at the edge of your bed, tired and spent from the day, your room dark, only the moonlight illuminating your outline a bit, she imagined the tired look on your face, how you might sigh and close your eyes for a moment before getting undressed, how it would feel to be there, to offer you something, to say “come here” and hold you as you fell asleep, how it would feel to share a bed with you, to feel your skin warm against hers, to wake up in the middle of the night and hear you breathing slowly, deeply. eventually, she abandoned her kitchen and tried to repress the urge she had to go out and look for you, a long stare into the mirror as she brushed her teeth and told herself “calm down. you´re being fucking insane.”

at the end of the week, there was a bonfire night. the air at that hour was cool enough for the fire to be a pleasant sensation and most people quickly broke into groups, the younger kids, the older ones, your colleagues, a few of them standing around and talking, others playing games or entertaining each other with gossip from the day.

you were tired form the eventful week, your limbs a bit heavy and sore, so you briefly left the two other counselors you were on good terms with for a moment to go sit on near the fire and just relax for a moment, watching the flames dance in the dark forest air. what you hadn´t noticed, was that Tess had been leaning against a tree near where you´d sat down for about fifteen minutes, just quietly observing, the way she always did, and for a few minutes she just looked at you, how you were holding your body, what your face might give away about your state of mind, before she decided to go pick up a drink from the cooler nearby to hand it to you as she sat down next to you, unannounced, a genuine smile from you as you took the drink and thanked her, wondering if she´d been able to tell that you were a bit tired, slightly touched by her attentiveness that you were still getting used to.

“so”, she started, “how has it been”. you knew she was asking about how you felt after your first week there, that she was curious, so you turned to her, the desire to make sure she knew you were enjoying it, even though you must´ve seemed a bit exhausted in that moment.“oh I´m all good so far, thanks, no complaints yet, I´m getting moving my body much more than at college, so that´s good” you said, “even though I´m kinda scraped up”, pointing at a few scratches and bruises that were the result of various hiking and climbing and running activities. Tess glanced down at your legs, a grin, “oh just wait, there´s more to come”, somehow it sounded lascivious the way she said it, you leaned a bit closer to her, “oh, I don´t mind, after being stuck in the library for months this is great, I do feel better than a week ago, I have to say, I needed a break I think”, Tess nodded, a smile, the restrained kind she usually gave, that somehow pleased you much more than wide, toothy smiles from other people,

“a lot going on up there, hm” gesturing at your forehead, a smile. the tone she used in that moment was the softest you´d heard her up until that point, it was clear she was trying to comfort you in some way, so you returned the smile, a tired sigh, “unfortunately, yeah, kinda. it´s hard sometimes to have this much time to myself. usually so many things distract me but, not here. kinda hard to just enjoy the peace and quiet sometimes, funny enough”. she nodded, messing with a twig absentmindedly, breaking small parts off. she briefly started into the distance, before turning back to you, “not for me” she said, smiling.“yeah, i´ts impressive to be honest. I don´t know how you do it. guess you´re already enlightened, zen, all that” you were half-joking, it made her laugh, “hardly. just years of practice. my early life was anything but quiet or serene, so, took some time to get used to it. but now I wouldn´t go back”, you made a sound of understanding “I believe you, yeah. sounds nice, peaceful”.

she paused for a moment before changing the subject, the hint of a grin on her face,“you know, I´ve been hearing a few things through the grape-vine about you.” you faced fully then, the immediate thought being “oh god what did I do. did I do something embarrassing without realizing” even though you couldn´t recall anything, and the slightly panicked expression was funny to her, maybe cute too in some way, so she let you hang in that fear for a moment before saying, “oh don´t worry, glowing reviews across the board so far”.

that surprised you, the fact that people had gone out of their way to talk about you generously, “really?”, she tilted her head, studying your face for a moment, “why are you so surprised?”. she wasn´t gonna go into detail because she wasn´t big on flattery but a girl who´d worked there for two summers already, had come up to her earlier and told her that you were much better than the new girl the year before, that you were popular with the kids because you were patient and not too strict, that you´d offered to take over her group for a day because she was about to take a bunch of pain-killers for her headache to power through. Tess had heard a few other things along those lines too, and it was an easy way to get into her head, to win her over, being a good influence on her beloved space.

you pondered the question why you were surprised about the praise and shrugged, “guess I just didn´t try all that hard”, she nodded, her voice lower, slower, “well, that´s the point I think”. “I could honestly do this job all year I think. but well. academic career calls”

she smiled, “well someone´s gotta be the brainy type”, “you are too and you're here, so”, she took the compliment, “well but thats different. I´m people smart, life smart, you´re more book smart”, “how would you know?”, you said, tickled by her read on you, “well, you have that sophisticated “I write essays about complex niche shit”-air”, she was teasing a bit, gently, “oh damn, thats what I give off? really?”.

“maybe, a bit. well you´re not like them, that´s for fucking sure”, she said, pointing at two guys and girls who were screeching as they were play-fighting, pushing each other, more the frat and sorority types, you laughed “right. can´t argue with that”.

“so who do you hang out with?” you asked, which caught her off guard, “huh?” you looked at her more closely then, your faces both orange from the fire, glowing, easy to be mesmerized by, distracted by.“I never see you with anyone.”, you continued, waiting for an explanation, her voice was lower then, for emphasis,“well that´s on purpose, sweetie. I don´t “hang out” with people”. the pet name made your face feel even warmer, you were curious if she was bluffing,“no? you´re all alone, all day?”, she smiled, angling her body a bit more towards you, “well I´m never alone, am I?”, pointing around at all the others.“you know what I mean. no friends, no..” you didn´t say it out loud, the other kind of company you wondered about.

“no. just me and my mind palace” she whispered, tapping on her forehead. “right. well, could be worse, you seem very…” “very what?” she asked, not sure what you were about to say. “I dont know.. solid” you said,“solid. okay I´ll take that”, she wasn´t sure if you were being serious, so you went on“I mean it as a compliment, you never seem anxious or desperate for praise or approval or anything really”. “right. unlike…you?” she said, trying to get a rise out of you, clearly not meaning it, “ouch??”, you said, obviously not hurt but thrilled be the sudden playfulness that she was offering you. “no I´m joking. that´s more her thing, isn´t it” Tess said while pointing at a coworker of yours, she was right, the girl was notorious for giggling and talking in a higher voice around the male staff members, so you laughed a scandalized laugh, nudging her leg, a burn where her knee briefly brushed yours, her index finger on her lips “shh, I didnt say anything”, she whispered“no, sure”.

Tess realized that she´d fucked up, just a moment too late. she´d crossed the boss-employee boundary of gossiping with you about your fellow worker, when she was in charge of both of you, you weren´t her peer, she knew this, but it felt too good, to sit there under the stars and actually have fun talking to someone. it was a small thing, but it was the start of something, of creating a sense of familiarity, a signal to you that she saw you as an equal, which she shouldn´t do, she knew it, she´d have to reel it back in, but she didn´t want to, not at all.

you didn´t press on, you just gladly took what you got, pleased by the fact that she seemed to trust you in some way, that she wanted to make you laugh, create a feeling of kinship. just in time, a guy you were friendly with came over and told you to come join him and the others for a game, so you bade her farewell, and followed him, a hint of jealousy to her then as she watched his bright smile as he talked to you, as she saw some other girls hugging you, their hands on your lower back. she´d never wished she was part of the counselor group, not until that moment. she tried not to think about it, that some of the girls and guys around you would maybe shoot their shot with you, that you might want them to, that she´d have to witness a post-getting together flush on your face while you stole glances at another person across the dining hall table. she was perceptive, those kinds of things never escaped her, so she hoped and prayed that she´d never pick on something like that from you. unless. unless she was the one being looked at.

the next day, the plan was for everyone to go on a hike together, deeper into the forest because about thirty minutes away, there was a river that was shallow enough for everyone to be allowed to swim in without worrying about any safety issues.

the plan was to spend a few hours there, for everyone to as they pleased, either swimming or laying in the grass or reading or doing whatever you wanted.

about ten minutes into the hike, there was a steep hill you all had to go down, and two kids from your group didn´t realize that it was not a good idea to hold hands, until one of them lost their balance and nearly pulled the other one to the ground, had it not been for you and your sudden sharp reflex. you were walking a few steps behind them when you saw the first signs of what was about to be nasty joint fall to the floor, so without thinking twice, you hurried over to put yourself between them and the ground, which worked out, but forced you to the floor, because of the sudden impact of two bodies on you.

at first, you weren´t aware that you´d even gotten hurt in the process, your mind clouded by the rush of adrenaline, but there was a sharp pain in your shin that made itself noticeable as the kids were saying your name, breathless, followed by a “look” pointing at your leg “I´m so sorry” the other one uttered, “it's my fault”, but you quickly said “no it´s okay, you´re good, I´m good, no big deal”, but you weren´t really all that good: you´d fallen right onto the sharp edge of a rock and your shin was dripping blood, a stream that already nearly reached your ankle. “Tess!!” the kids yelled, aware that she was always the one to look for in emergencies, but she was close enough to have seen it all, already in the process of hurrying over and kneeling down by your side, a hand on your back, checking the injury, “fuck” she said. “yeah, no, this can´t be left like that. we need to go back and clean this up”. “it´s fine really, I-” you tried to downplay it, but she shushed you, a sharpness to her expression then, she was gonna spare you the lecture she could have given then “what did I tell you about wounds? always, always turn back around, no open wounds out in the wild, infection is not something we want here”.

you were embarrassed by the attention, she could tell, so she quickly looked up and announced to the others, “guys it´s no big deal, she took a fall, it looks worse than it is but I´ll go help her back so we can bandage it, you guys go without us. we´ll see each other for lunch later, okay?”. everyone respected her, so her words settled quickly and people kept it pushing, the two kids you´d shielded briefly giving you a pat while saying a shy “thank you. see you later?”, “yes, don´t worry guys I´m okay”. they smiled then, glad that you weren´t mad at all. Tess was still busy checking your injury, she´d pulled a tissue from her bag and had cleaned some of it up but the blood kept coming, so she said, “okay, come on, we need to fix this. I´ll help you up, okay?”. you nodded, putting weight on your uninjured leg as she pulled you up, with ease, her arm around your waist then to steady you, her hand firm, you could feel it well through the thin fabric of your shirt, intimate in a way that made you forget about the pain. part of her felt guilty, that she was glad to have an excuse to touch you, that she could disguise it as worry, the fact that she enjoyed feeling you close.

“god this is so stupid” you sighed, as you made your way towards her cabin, walking slowly, your leg not really all that hurt but enough to make you limp a bit, she smiled, a light squeeze to your arm, “well, at least there are two girls who will see you as their savior now, just you wait, they´ll start writing you love-letters”, “anyone would have done that” you said, dismissive of the supposed bravery of your little moment of protectiveness, but she shook her head. “no, I don´t think so. you´re kind of a mama bear with them, I can tell”-

“ew Tess, not that fucking word”, she laughed, her grip on you just as firm as before, briefly turning to look at you, “don´t like that, no?”. “no. besides, I´m more of a big sister I think, you´re the.. mama as you said it. they like me but they respect you”.“I don´t know about all that”, “they do, it´s cute, they talk about you with hushed voices, all reverent. I overheard them once, they like that you´re not like their moms”, that made Tess smile, “hm, they have a point there. I sometimes think they´re scared of me though”, “no. I mean, maybe some of them, but can´t hurt, to have a tiny bit of fear in there. I´ve never seen any of them give you trouble”, she nodded, her tone low, a hint of pride in there, “oh, I´d like to see any of them try”.

“you good? we´re almost there” she asked, hoping you weren´t in too much pain, “yeah, yeah, all good, haven´t bled out yet I think”. “you sure, looking a bit pale there” she was messing with you, it felt nice, “you telling me I look bad?”, “no, never”, she realized too late that that was the kind of subtle flirty thing she´d have said to someone she was dating, not the kind of thing she´d say to an employee, so for the rest of the way she just kept her mouth shut, as you smiled to yourself, despite your bloodied shin, because slowly but surely, you were sensing that she wasn´t impossible to crack.

once you were inside her cabin, she rushed down the hallway to get the stuff she needed from her medical kit, while you took a look around her living room that was connected to a kitchen.

the cabin was different than yours, the layout was more like a real apartment, moderate in size but cozy, inviting, a couch with some bookshelves behind it, a fireplace, a coffee table with various candles and lighters and magazines, so for a few seconds you slowly walked around the room, until you heard her whistling your way to get your attention, she was standing in the kitchen, waving you over, “stop snooping and come here” her tone pretend-stern, you could tell that she wasn´t really bothered.“I wasn´t” you insisted as you watched her pulling out two chairs from the dining table, one to sit on and one to put your leg up on, she was impatient, not even addressing your protest, focused on getting you cleaned up, “sit down” another order, you suppressed a grin as you walked over, it felt good, to be bossed around by her, and she could tell, it wasn´t the same way with others, they sometimes perceived it as rude or cold, but there you were, almost giddy because she was being a bit authoritative, it only made the thing she had for you worse, but she kept her mind on the bandage she was cutting.

you sat down and lifted up your leg on the chair, as she knelt down next to you, a reassuring hand on your leg as she used a wet tissue to clean up most of the blood, careful, slow, focused, in a way that felt so intimate that you felt a blush creep up on your cheeks, silent as she discarded of the tissue and looked up at you.“okay, this part always sucks but I need to make sure the wound is clean, so I´ll put some rubbing alcohol on it, alright? it will sting, but only for a few seconds”, you looked down at her, your hands in your lap, a sense of trust radiating from you. as you said “it´s fine, I can take it, don´t worry” a sudden rush of heat to her face to then, as the words “I can take it” hit her, but she pushed that feeling away and nodded, “good. you can touch me by the way, hold my arm for support or whatever” pointing to your hands, the way you were sitting there sort of shy, so you did, your hand on her shoulder.

Tess did what she had to do, a wince and clenching of your teeth, as the aforementioned sting hit you, she could feel your fingernails digging into her skin, another thing that could have distracted her, had she not been busy getting it over with as quickly as possible, so you could relax again. “okay, done”, she caught herself just in time before “good girl” could leave her lips, a shake of her head as she went over to the trash and threw away the bloodied cloth.

you sat there, smiling, enjoying the way she was tending to you “you´re good at this” you said, a smile from her then as she fussed with the bandage and knelt down again, slowly wrapping it around your shin, a brief glance up at you, “well, gotta be with this job, I won´t have anyone walking around with a festering wound, not on my watch”, “yeah I can tell. bet you´re good at calming them down when they get seriously injured, not just like this”, you could imagine Tess in an emergency, her being the steading presence if someone fainted, getting them in the right position and telling them in her soothing voice to mimic her pattern of breathing, you could imagine her in pretty much an serious situation as the person to look to for help, for a calming influence, it was somehow only making it all worse, your attraction to her, how gentle but deliberate she was as she finished wrapping up your wound, her fingers never shaky or fumbling with anything, your eyes on her face as her gaze was fixed on your patched-up wound, a nod from her then, “okay, this should work. we´re done here”.

you squeezed her arm then, lightly, “thank you. it doesn´t even hurt much”. that was a relief to hear, the cut had been in an unfortunate place, right above your bone, where the skin was thin, “you´re tough, huh. didn´t complain the whole way back or just now”, you took the compliment, “not much to complain about here” you said and gestured around, vaguely, but she knew you didn´t mean her cabin or the environment outside, it was clear what you were saying, and she knew she should have pushed back a bit, said something very clearly professional and distanced then, but she didn´t want to, it was nice, to have that exchange with you. she could feel herself getting reckless, and she couldn´t stop it, not fully.

for a moment she just stood there, leaning back against the counter, taking in the sight of you, still sitting at her table, clearly a bit exhausted. “you good? need anything? a drink?”, “a drink?” you said, grinning a her, “like what, a beer? whiskey?” she knew she´d phrased that a bit oddly, so she laughed, shaking her head, “no, I´m not stupid enough to get my workers drunk, at least not yet, but, I do have something else that might lift your spirits, now that I think about it”, initially she was gonna give you water, but she felt generous, felt like spoiling you a bit, which was not something she´d have usually done for people, but she was already past the point of pretending, you weren´t like the others to her, she could admit it to herself.

she walked over her fridge and got something out that you couldn´t identify at first, before she walked over to you and placed them in your lap, “here, knock yourself out”. the moment you realized what it was, a bottle of coke and some chocolate, your eyes lit up in a way that made her laugh then, “damn, you look like you haven´t eaten in three months, you´ve only been here for a week, sweetie”.

“well, I haven´t eaten any non-organic food in days so this- yeah this is gonna hit. where the fuck did you get this?” you asked, before taking a sip of the coke. she liked it, watching you savor something, the way you licked your lips after, “well, unlike you poor souls I have a car here. I can drive to the nearest town whenever I want”, “oh so thats what you do when you sneak off? go have fun elsewhere?”, she shook her head, “no fun, just pragmatics, I am kind of picky with my food, so, yeah, I like stocking up on stuff I can make myself”. “hm. interesting. wanna take me with you sometime?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at her. “absolutely not, no favoritism and no outside-work shit, you know that”, it was bullshit and you both knew it, what was going on in that moment was the definition of favoritism, but you played along, “damn. your a hard-ass huh?”, licking some of the chocolate that had melted onto your fingers, her eyes drawn to your mouth yet again, her composure getting a hard hit, yet again, “only now noticing are you?”.

“well. they´ll be back in like three hours so… you´re free to do as you please now”. “right. I can stare at a wall and bore myself to death”, she was amused, something about your dry humor matched hers, it felt familiar, “or, maybe, just a thought, you could enjoy the surroundings?”. she had a point,“I know but, the novelty has kinda worn off there”, she knew what you meant, you spent day and night under those trees, it wasn´t exactly thrilling to spend a few hours sitting there, “right. have you ever been up on the hill? the one behind the lake?”, “no, is it cool?”, “kinda, yeah, you can see pretty far from there and there´s a bench there”, you grinned, “so your secret spot?”, a shrug, a smile that gave away the answer, “sort of. but, I´d make an exception for an injured person”.

“you can put weight on it, right?”, she looked at you, that uninterrupted kind of attention that you weren´t used to, her gaze seemingly never flickering somewhere else when she was talking to you, with you. “yeah, wait let me see” you placed your foot on the floor, she instinctively held out her arm, so you could put your hand there, “it´s okay, doesn´t hurt”, she seemed relieved, still, she monitored your walk as you went towards the door, she could tell were a bit tentative still, which made her feel more protective than she should have, you weren´t dealing with a broken leg, you were fine, but she cared about you, genuinely, and for her it was rare to feel that way, so inevitably, she made it her job of sorts to look out for you.

the way up the hill wasn´t long and she made you go in front of her once the path started inclining, to prevent any possible tripping falling, and also. if she´d met you in a dating context, in a context outside of work, that would have been the moment for her to say “let me carry you, come on” to show off her strength, to feel you against her back, holding onto her while she´d have her hands on your thighs to support you.

she liked it when the kids' eyes went wide when she showed off her capabilities, but she missed it, having a woman to impress, having someone to maybe turn on with it. instead, she just watched you, the sight of your bandaged leg somehow deepening the tenderness she already felt for you, the sudden desire to kneel down and kiss your skin above the wound. eventually, you reach the bench and both sat down, you a bit more winded than her, catching your breath as you said “oh, yeah this is nice” while realizing how far you could look, almost all the way to the town nearby.

for a moment you both just sat there and enjoyed the silence, the sounds of various birds, the moderate heat of a summer day that wouldn´t be unbearably but pleasantly hot, until she spoke up, “you know. this is a bit.. well not ideal, but I usually come up here to smoke” you were being trusted with a secret, you could tell, she obviously smoked up there because everywhere else a kid could see her, make a big deal out of it, tease her for it, it was clear that she wouldn´t give anyone a clue about her vices, except, you in that moment, and you wanted to think that she wouldn´t just do it with any of her employees, that not all of them were aware of her habit, “okay, not a problem with me”, you said, nonchalantly, so she raised her eyebrows, “you don´t mind?”, you shook your head “no, not at all”.

within seconds she had her lighter and a half empty pack in her hands, quickly lighting one and taking a first drag that gave away that it had probably been a few days, a deep exhale as she leaned back and looked different than usual, more like the private version of herself, more like she probably looked around friends or lovers, her posture softer, her demeanor less intimidating. you had to be careful not to stare because she looked hot smoking, the way nonchalant blew smoke in the opposite direction of your face, which made you laugh, “it´s okay you know, you can face me”, she turned to you then, tilting her head, a challenging look, “you want me to shotgun you, huh?” she joked, leaning a bit closer to you before taking another drag. “sure, I wouldn´t mind” you said, a bit too earnestly, a beat of silence then, she shook her head, exhaling a bit closer to your face then, “you´re funny”, almost like she was saying it to herself, not to you.

somehow, the scent of tobacco suited her, the woods around had an earthy smell anyway, it kinda matched it, a scent profile that added to her slightly masculine air, she seemed at home in the woods, they too were imposing and dangerous in some way, but comforting and still too, it reflected her, you could tell why she´d ended up there and she could tell that you were looking at her side profile, and she let you, her arm behind you on the bench, a tranquil feeling, an unusual silence, no shrieks from kids, nothing, just you there, the awareness of your body close to hers a warm, revitalizing sensation.

“can I ask you something?” she eventually said, turning her attention back to you as you were fussing with your bandage a bit, her hand gently pulling it away, so you´d leave it alone, a hint of that caring dominance that made her so alluring to you.

“sure, whatever you want” , you were hoping for something juicy, but she wasn´t that careless, “why´d you come here?”, she asked, genuine interest in her eyes. you thought about it, a brief pause, her body turned more to you then. “well. to be honest, I didn´t wanna stay in my college town and I didn´t wanna go back home either, so. thought a job might be good, get away from everything. and so far, seems that I had the right idea”. she nodded, considering that, “makes sense yeah. you do seem like you´ve been here for much longer than a week. would you come back again next year?”.

that was not what you expected her to ask, “already offering me an extension of the contract?” you said, a smile, slightly playful, she nodded, “yes, actually I am, because we don´t get new people here too often, and you´re good. would be one less job application bullshit to go through next year. besides, some of the kids will come back, and they like you, so, win-win”, you almost asked her “and you? you want me to come back too?” but the subtext was already there, you knew she wanted you to, and you knew she wouldn´t admit it. “sure, I mean, I don´t see why not. unless of course.. I fall madly in love and wanna go be an annoying happy couple on vacation” you joked, which made her laugh then, “oh sure, feel free to cancel on us if that happens, wouldn´t wanna get in the way of love” her tone was dripping in irony and you smiled to yourself, glad that you´d found a way to signal to her that you were in fact not currently in a relationship, which she´d figured before, but it felt good for her to have it confirmed, too good, she suppressed the joy that could have been read on her face then, had she been less careful.

“I´m kinda glad that I could turn around to be honest” you said, stretching your limbs a bit and enjoying the peaceful vibe, she turned to you, “ah, let me guess, Marc and Carla, trouble in paradise earlier, huh?”. you turned to her, of course nothing passed her by,“oh so you picked up on that? that fucking dating drama” you asked, she nodded, an amused expression as she also leaned back, “oh yeah, they´ve worked here for years, they go to different colleges and always have this dramatic on and off thing going on all summer here. they´re good with the kids, so I don´t care, but I imagine it gets a bit.. tiring when you´re working together, huh?”.

you nodded, “yeah, a few days ago some girl warned me not to be too friendly with him because they´re both always crazy jealous. which is so.. like how old are we? but Carla sized me up and decided that I wasn´t competition, so”, she furrowed her brows, “really, that was her verdict there?”, her surprise was a giveaway, the subtext clearly being “if I was him, you´d be competition, for sure, she should be jealous if she saw you talking to me, because I´d maybe ditch her for you”. something along those lines was in there, so she changed the subject,“well, good for me I don´t have to deal with any of that, so”, you nodded, “yeah lucky you. but I stay out of it too, all of that is not my style, I´m not into the whole public dating mess, I like it to be a bit more.. well, private guess.”, “clever girl” she said, her eyes briefly closed, the sun hitting her face.

that was the first time she´d heard you express a preference dating wise, and it didn´t escape her, that you were basically saying “I don´t mind keeping it a secret”, which was exactly what you two would have to do, if it ever came to anything. she was also relieved that you seemingly had no interest in any of them, because she had no way of knowing what went on when she wasn´t around, who you might sneak out for during the night. you were both saying thing without actually saying them, and it was a bit too exciting, the air was a bit too charged, so before anything worse could come out of her mouth, before she´d really slip up and ask something like “so, what´s your type then?” or “have any of them tried shit with you?”, she interrupted the silence, slapped her knees, and signaled that the time up there was up.

“okay, come on, let´s go back, you should go lay down and rest for a while, you did take a bit of a fall there. gotta have you fit again for tomorrow”, so you got up too and let her help you, yet again, even though you could walk perfectly fine on your own, she let you link arms with her, your supposed unsteadiness a good cover for the casual intimacy, the way you were touching without assigning it any other meaning than “she needs a little help getting down the hill” when it wasn´t about that, at all. you felt yourself enjoying it, the feeling of her flannel, soft against your bare arm, the faint smell of smoke lingering on her, watching her from time to time as she spoke, her eyes pretty in the midday sun, your gaze constantly drawn back to them to figure out if they were light green or blue or both.

you were near your cabin then, so she turned to face you, and it hit both of you at the same time, that the vibe was the exact same as at the end of a date, that charged, slightly awkward moment of “are we gonna kiss? should I go in for the hug? should I do anything at all? is she gonna?”.

you hadn´t even thought about it but the previous hour or so you´d spent together was far off from any professional exchange, it was tinged with something intimate, the feeling of dancing around someone as you´re figuring out if a crush is requited, so for a moment you both just stood there staring at each other, waiting, until she found way to bring the mood to a more neutral one again, at least slightly, “so, you go and rest, and after dinner come back to my place for a moment, so we can switch that out for a band-aid” she pointed at your shin, “that will be nasty after a shower, so”. she was thinking ahead more than you were, that practicality hadn´t crossed your mind at all, and in a way you thought, “is she looking for an excuse to see me again?” because she could have just told you to ask someone from the team for a bandaid later, surely someone would´ve had one, but she specifically told you to come to her. it was not clear, but you felt like reading into it, so you did, allowing yourself a bit of hope as you nodded, “sure, yeah I´ll come over when I´m done showering”.

after you parted ways, you didn´t even take off your shoes before laying down on your bed, your legs dangling off the edge as you dozed off, half-asleep as you tried to cling to the sensation of sitting next to her, talking to her, the giddiness that she made you feel without even trying.

you had vague dreams about her, fantasies that you´d briefly indulged in playing out in your mind as you slept, you and her sitting next to each other at some assembly, her touching you under the table, in the dream you were lovers, you could tell, from the smile she gave you, the kind that said “can´t wait to be in private with you again”. when you woke up from the noise of everyone returning to camp, you were groggy and hot from the vision you´d just had, disoriented until you looked at your bandaged leg and realized what day it was, what had happened.

for the next few hours, the girls you were responsible for all doted on you as if you´d broken your leg, even though you could walk just fine, you could tell they loved acting like little caretakers for that afternoon, bringing you water and snacks and presenting you with flowers they´d brought back from the hike. until dinner you were busy with all that, and then, after you´d all eaten and you were done showering, you found yourself growing nervous because it was time to go over to Tess´s place. you took more time than other nights when picking out what to wear to bed, you looked at yourself in the mirror for longer, until you told yourself to stop making it all bigger than it was, that you were just going to her to get your injury checked up on, and yet, you felt the jitteriness you would have felt before a date, not the kind you´d feel before a doctor´s appointment, hope bubbling up inside of you, not dread.

on your way over, the evening air did help a bit with relaxing and getting yourself together, until you knocked on her door and she opened it looking different than you´d seen her any of the days before, a shock to your system. Tess leaned against the doorframe, dressed in baggy plaid shorts that reached until her mid-thigh, vaguely reminiscent of boxer shorts, a white t-shirt that was worn out in way that made the fabric hug her figure perfectly without being tight at all, and, you realized that for the first time you were seeing her without shoes, just a pair of white socks that went up over her ankles. the white accentuated her tan and it was clear that she´d also just gotten done showering because her skin was glowing, her face looked younger somehow, her hair was down, and that first glimpse of her alone was enough to feel nervous again, you were seeing her the way lovers would see her if they came over at night, it was intimate in a way, to see each other like that, and she didn´t let it show, but she had similar feelings after she said “hey there” and waved you in, a brief flicker of her gaze over your body when you walked inside ahead of her, glad that she had an excuse to touch you.

the vibe of her place at night was even better than during the day, she´d lit a few candles and a round orange lamp cast the living room in a soothing warm light. she saw you looking over at the kitchen, so she said “oh, you can just sit on the couch, it won´t take long”. you almost said “please take as long as you want” but stopped yourself and did as she told you, taking your place, sinking into the cushion, your hands on your knees, another look around the room as she went to her bathroom and got everything she needed. you briefly talked about the rest of the day when she returned, you telling her “the girls tried to play nurse with me”, which made her smile, a glance down to where you were sitting as she approached you, “they´re trying to take my job, huh”, more of that hope you´d felt earlier, you could feel that something was in the air, it was more intense than earlier.

“so, how is it, does it hurt still?” she asked as she knelt down next to you and used a small pair of scissors to carefully cut off the bandage that had gotten damp in the shower, a shake of your head, “no, I think it´s fine”, already a warm expression on your face because you loved being tended to by her, it was not what you were used to, to have someone take care of you like that, even just in small ways, it didn´t feel small, to see the concern in her eyes when she removed the bandage, and said “okay, there´s some bruising here. but the wound itself doesn´t look too bad without the blood, I don´t think it will scar” she almost added “either way, a scar wouldn´t take away from your beauty”. for a moment she held your leg still, taking in the sight of the purple and red bruises below your knee that would soon turn green, a sting in her chest, the urge to lean in and kiss the tender skin, a brief moment of wishing she could just throw caution out of the window and ask you to stay the night, so she could take care of you, hold you, whatever you wanted her to do.

instead, she cleared her throat and reached over to peel the plastic off the bandaid and placed it so that I wouldn´t crease or come off too easily, her fingertips light as she was focused on final act of medical care for you.

she had no idea how affectionately you looked at her the entire time she knelt before you, too busy with what her hands were doing, but after she said “okay good, all done here” and gave you a light pat on your thigh, she saw a trace of it in your eyes, you weren´t hiding it well, and maybe you weren´t even trying anymore.

she got up and knew that that was the moment where she should say “okay then. have a good night and I will see you tomorrow!”, she knew what she “should” have done, but just like you, she was growing increasingly worse at caring about all of that, it was simple: she liked having you there and you obviously liked being there, so she wouldn´t interrupt that moment, not yet.

her rationality was fading into the background as her body, her spirit took over. Tess had gone so long without close relationships, without even so much as a crush or a fling, that she had convinced herself she was fine without it, but being confronted with you had shattered that belief. it felt like she´d lived in a perpetual dark landscape for a while and had told herself that it was fine that way, that her eyes were well-adjusted to, only to be stunned by a sudden light, drawn in by it, warmed by it. it was pointless to tell herself “you´re her boss, make her leave, stop this”. she stood there for a moment but went to sit down on the other side of the couch quickly after, careful to leave some distance. as she sat down, you stretched your limbs and groaned lightly, your muscles a bit sore from the days of outdoor activity, and she felt her whole face go hot when she caught a glimpse of your midriff. “fucking hell” she thought, when you leaned back and your shirt rode up from your attempt to alleviate some tension, thankful when you pulled it back down and got comfortable, turning to face her.

she wasn´t trying to look hot but she did anyway, there was no position she could have sat in that would have made you enjoy the view less, so you gave her a genuine smile, and started a conversation.

“so. what do you do here all night?” you asked, glancing around the room. her face gave away that she was amused, and you realized that it had come out a bit suggestively, “well I mean-”, she finished the question for you, “you mean, what do I do with all my alone time here?”, you nodded, “yes. you never have guests or anything, right?”, she shook her head, “no. just me”, unsure if it was relief that she could read in your expression, relief over her clear lack of a dating life.

“do you drink?” you asked then, which made her laugh, “you think I need to get drunk to enjoy my own company, hm? I´m that insufferable?”, you rolled your eyes, “you know what I mean”, she liked it, riling you up a bit, she´d always done it with girls she had a thing for. “yeah, I mean, sure I drink, I smoke, as you know, moderately. but I am not all that different than you guys, I download films and shows when I am in the office building, I watch some stuff here and there, or I read, sit outside when it´s a nice evening, or.. you know, just stare at the walls and lose my mind” she added, while crossing one leg over the other, her hand on her thigh, her body titled towards you, her demeanor completely different than during the day. there was something open and soft about her at that hour, something you hadn´t seen outside of her place, and it was predictably just as attractive to you, if not more.

“hm, sounds kinda nice to me. I mean, I do get the appeal of all of this” you said with a slightly wistful tone, clearly insinuating that your life back in college was less vitalizing for your spirit, less relaxing, she liked the sound of that, since she didn´t know what you really thought about your job, “yeah? that´s good. so, your verdict after the first week is not that you don´t feel horrible dread at the idea of being here all summer?” she said, nudging your arm briefly, reckless, she shouldn´t have touched you, shouldn´t have given you another taste, your eyes changed, a sparkle, “yes, for sure. I mean, on my first day I was kind of stunned by my weird decision to come here, I won´t lie, but I´m glad I did, it´s good for me I think”, that first part made her laugh, she was playing with the hem of her shorts absentmindedly, her fingers running over her own skin, your gaze drawn down there. “yeah you are kind of different than the others, makes sense that you felt a bit out of place initially”.

“different? like in a freak way?” you teased, of course you knew that she was trying to say that you occupied a special place in her mind, that she was admitting to you that you were unique in her eyes, but you also knew the way to get to her was through humor, through indirect flirting. she nodded, visibly pleased by the vibe that was slowly building up between you, “sure, yeah that´s what I meant, you´re odd as hell”.

for a moment you both smiled to yourselves, silence until she realized that while you were there, she might as well be a good host, “i´ts kinda warm still, do you want something to drink?” you nodded, glad that she seemed to be in no hurry to make you leave, “yeah, sure”. while she went over to the kitchen, you looked at the coffee table and saw a half empty pack of sour candy, which was kind of endearing to you, the fact that she of all people had a sweet tooth. you grabbed the bag to put a few of them in your mouth, chewing and enjoying the intense flavor with a hint of mischief in your eyes when she came back with two opened cans of soda.

“oh sure, just go ahead, feel free” she said, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably, way too charmed by the way you sat there and licked the sugar off your lips. “is she doing that un purpose?” she thought. the thing that made it so hard for her to resist you, was the you seemed so at ease around her. nothing turned her off faster than apprehension, Tess might have come across as aggressive at times, but with other women, she was anything but that, she had to be sure that someone wanted to pursued in order to do it. she had never been the type to beg people or to run after them, nothing killed the mood for her like a feeling of “is she actually into me?”. so, seeing you lounge on her couch like it was your own, obviously glad to be there, all smiley and content, it made her wonder “why am I holding back exactly? I know what would make her even happier right now”.

you put the bag down and took the drink from her, a polite “thank you very much”, followed by a big sip and a sigh, the orange taste a nice mix with the peach flavor of the candy you´d just eaten. you briefly pressed the cold metal to your cheek, a nice contrast on a summer night. it made Tess look over at you with a mix of desire and tenderness, she was painfully aware of your body, and you of hers, all of your talking was just a thin veil over the reason you were really sitting there: to watch each other. to feel each other close. to get a rush from it all.

you were both hyper-sensitive to everything about each other, the way your bare skin looked in the dim light, that space on your thighs where your shorts stopped, your voices lower and quieter than during the day, easy to get turned on by, your faces glowing from the mix of sun-exposure and a fresh shower, a distinct scent to the both of you that the other was able to pick up on. you tried not to stare at her hands, she tried not to stare at your legs, while you both drank and stayed quiet, which only made the tension worse each passing second.

she was the one to speak again, “you´re kinda hard to figure out, you know” she said, eyeing you with interest. “I could say the same thing” you responded, your tone unmistakably flirty by that point, she smiled, trying to look unfazed, even though she was close to breaking. “well, that´s not your job sweetie, I´m the one in charge, I should know what I am working with”. the way she said that went straight to your core, the way she invoked her authority only made you want her more, an undeniable thrill at the thought of making her cross a boundary she normally wouldn´t.

“well, I am not hiding anything” you went on, taking another sip of the drink before setting it down on the table and moving closer to her when sitting back again, she noticed and felt her heartbeat speed up, her face grow hot. she shook her head, a faint scoff, “I don´t buy that for a second. everyone hides some things.” you challenged her, sensing the sudden opening in your dynamic, the threshold you wanted to cross so desperately, “what is that you´re hiding then?”, she smiled, stubbornly fighting back against your attempt to catch her off guard, “we were talking about you, not me”.“I´d prefer to talk about you though”, you wouldn´t let it go, she´d have to be meaner to get you to back off.

Tess was quiet for a second, you looked at her, she seemed to be debating something, and you felt it, that you were both close to losing your composure. your bodies betrayed you, you were both breathing too heavy to mask your thoughts.

you knew her, you knew she would not allow herself to make the first move, you´d have to show her what you wanted, so you pushed your nervousness aside and tried on shamelessness instead.

you moved closer to her side of the couch and brushed her leg with yours, a complete change in her expression, immediately, she didn´t know you had it in you, wasn´t prepared for it, for any of the things you made her feel. for once in her life, she felt weak. she uttered your name under her breath as you touched her thigh, her eyes shut for a second, but the way she said it didn´t sound like a warning, it sounded like a plea, like she was saying “come here”.

so, finally, you leaned forward and grabbed her face to kiss her.

for a second, she didn´t move, didn´t do anything, she wanted to feel you come onto her, wanted to make you work for it, your kiss eager and lingering, a pause before you realized that she wasn´t gonna push you off, didn´t want you to stop, then another kiss, waiting for to join in, and all of a sudden, there was complete change to her, like you´d turned on a switch, like her whole body woke up at once.

“yes”, you thought, “this is what I wanted”: she grabbed your face and kissed you back, a confidence and ease to her kissing, that made you weak in the knees, her lips warm against yours, impossible to keep it tame, a needy sound from you, that made her need you even closer, so she grabbed your thigh and pulled you onto her lap, not fully straddling her but draped over her, the kissing turning more desperate by the second, your tongues touching, hot and sweet, your tastes swirling into one as you made out.

you moved your hips and felt yourself growing impatient, you were burning up for her, you wanted more, so you climbed fully onto her, her hands on your waist, a groan from her as you leaned forward and put your fingers in her hair to push her hair back, to tilt her head and kiss her again, your lips swollen red by that point, the divine sensation of her bare thighs under yours turning you on even more. she nearly lost her mind from the feeling of you moving on top of her, her hands roaming over your back under your shirt. the moment she did that, you pulled away out of breath and helped her out, tearing it off to reveal your upper body in its naked for to her, and the way she looked at you then was enough to want to give yourself over to her entirely, there was both reverence and hunger in her eyes, something soft and violent at once, “you´re so fucking beautiful…” she whispered, out of breath, before she pulled you close and kissed your neck, your head thrown back, pure bliss as she covered your entire neck in kisses, ran her tongue over the sensitive spot under your jaw, slowly making her way down, her hands grabbing your tits as she did this, eliciting soft moans.

you felt bold and sighed “wanna put them in your mouth?”. Tess didn´t hesitate, she´d always been into it, always had a thing for it, and it had been too long, so you saying that made her abandon all restraint. she put her mouth to one of your tits while gently squeezing the other, kissing at first, before circling your nipple with her tongue, a whine from you that made her want to hear more, so she sucked on it, hard enough to make you fear you might just cum from that, a heat between your legs, a throb, a sudden helplessness to you as she switched between sucking and kissing your tits, self-indulgent, lost in the softness of it, the bliss of having you unravel on top of her, giving you pleasure from something that brought herself pleasure too, deeply. she held back with biting because she knew you´d wear a bikini out again and didn´t need a hickey there, but the desire to bruise you was there, the desire to leave her mark, you could tell, from the hums of pleasure that escaped her, the slight pain from being sucked raw by her.

eventually you grew sick with lust, so she stopped and faced you, soothing you in your state of utter need, “you good?” her lips glistening with her own spit, you nodded, your voice cracked and husky, “yeah, so good.. I just. fuck-” you held onto her arms, “can we go to your room please?” you said, followed up by another “please”, no chance of being subtle, you wanted her, badly. she nodded, also worked up and fighting an ache at her core, that was growing unbearable, that could only be relieved by getting more of you. “yes, come, let me take care of you”. you climbed down from her and she grabbed your hand to lead you to her bedroom, neither of you registering a single thing about your surroundings, overwhelmed by that unfathomable heat rushing your system, painful and in the most exhilarating way, that moment right before getting what you wanted, almost sick with anticipation, your bodies vibrating with it, the thought “finally, finally, finally she´s mine”.

once you were in her room you quickly pushed down your shorts, not even waiting for her to help, your underwear too, no need to pretend or wait any longer. the second you were fully nude, she found herself at a loss. your body was perfectly lit by a small lamp on her bedside table, your silhouette like you were a vision of an angel, she stared in awe, forgetting for a second that she was allowed to touch you, that you were waiting for it, that everything she´d dreamed of was being offered to her.

you sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for her to come over to you. you looked at her as she took her place, standing between your legs, her hands on either side of your face, your eyes soft and docile as you stared up at her, a smile of disbelief on her face as she pushed her hands up into your hair and watched you surrender to her touch, your head tilted back, your throat exposed, inviting, everything about the picture of eager submission. “god, you´re fucking perfect” she whispered, caressing you, watching you lean into it,“are you really sure about this?” she asked then, unwilling to do a single thing you weren´t truly dying for, an instant nod from you, a pleading tone, “yes, I need this, I need you, I´ve wanted this all week” you confessed, almost stumbling over your words, a nod from her as you grabbed her waist then and pulled yourself forward, towards her, your fingers moving to the hem of her shirt, a brief sound of protest from her.

“please let me see you, you´re so beautiful”, you begged, and she was defenseless against that, so she pulled her shirt up and pulled down her shorts, which left her in her underwear and bra, a simple black one, that revealed more of her cleavage than you´d ever seen out during the day, your hands immediately on her sides, sliding down, a shiver as she felt your hand on her bare skin. you were in awe the same way she had been before, the sight of her strong upper body, her subtly defined abs, the point where her waist dipped in slightly, the warmth and softness of her skin, it all surpassed what you´d dreamed of, and she could tell, so she gently pushed you back against the bed, waiting for you to move and lay back, so she could climb over you. the moment you were on your back, she moved on top of you, your body flush against hers then, your hands on her neck as you went in for another kiss, desperate as you felt her chest pressed against yours, her thighs brushing yours, the full body contact driving you insane. you held onto her as you started making out, an instant rhythm, your hips moving up, hers pressing down, whimpers and sighs as you kissed and grew needier and needier, grinding up against each other, savoring the complete melting together of your bodies.

for a few minutes you got lost in the heat of kissing, desperate to draw out the sweet feeling of a makeout that grew more and more uninhibited and intimate each second, a slow, nasty kind of kissing that was enough to make you both moan into each others mouths without shame, a delicious friction where your hips kept meeting, where your thighs were rubbing together, she moved her hands from your face to your chest and that broke the kiss because you were too worked up, too turned on from her kneading your tits, so she moved her lips to your neck instead, pleased by your sighs, your nails lightly scratching her back.

Tess couldn´t wait any longer, so she looked at you and whispered “I wanna taste you, do you want me to?”, an instant “yes, please”, there was nothing you wanted more in that moment, both of you were dying for it, so she moved herself down between your legs and kissed your thighs while settling down between them, gently pushing them apart to have enough space, a few light bites to your inner thigh. you leaned back and tried not to sound too pathetic already, deep breaths as you surrendered to her.

the second her tongue touched you, you whined, so she caressed your thighs and looked up at you. she was starved, for the taste, the scent, the feeling, so she took her time, a slow up and down movement of her tongue between your lips, a few kisses in between, broad strokes to work you up, before she felt you growing impatient and spread you open, her mouth on you as she pushed her tongue in deeper, building up a rhythm that was intense but not too fast yet, exactly what you needed to lay back and relax, to open your legs a bit wider and sink into the heavenly feeling.

she knew what she was doing, you could tell, from the start you felt free to let go and enjoy yourself, unselfconscious as you moaned quietly, her fingers firm on your thighs as she got into it and made sounds of pleasure herself, she was clearly not just doing it to please you but to please herself too, you could feel it, from how she switched between licking and sucking, from how she lapped up your wetness with devotion, that she was the type to eat pussy out of her sheer need for the taste, the sensation of being slick with someones cum, and her eagerness only turned you on more, your hips bucking up as she increased the pressure and speed, sloppy, lewd sounds as she got a high from being trapped between your legs, pure heaven for her, to feel your hot and throbbing against her lips, to have you all weak and open like that, to see you spread out on her bed, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your mouth open.

the thing she did then just made you feel even more insane with lust, she grabbed your hands that had been holding onto the sheets, and din´t let go, giving you a reassuring squeeze as you kept holding hands, something deeply romantic and intimate about it, the act of interlacing your fingers with hers while she was focused on making you feel as good as possible. she loved feeling the instant effect of her tongue-fucking from the way your fingers tightened around hers harder when she hit certain spots, a signal for her to stay focused, to be relentless about it, fast flicks of her tongue then, over and over, your cunt raw and pulsing to a point of overwhelm, “fuck, that feels so good”, you praised, breathless, a whispered, “god, you´re a fucking dream” from her before she targeted your clit and applied more pressure, her tongue broad and flat at first, a softer kind of friction, a warmth spreading all the way through you, your hips still moving to meet her mouth, lost in the dream-like feeling of being hidden away in her room, held in place and tended to, then, she only used the tip of her tongue, harder and more intense flicks, that quickly forced louder moans out of you, the sound so hot to her that she involuntarily rocked her hips too.

she let go of your hands then to hold your thighs in place as she kept you from moving up the bed even an inch, sucking on your clit then to really give you the final push, and what she did then was a move you didn´t expect and weren´t prepared for, she interrupted the intense sucking on your clit to bring one of her hands up to your slick core and aggressively rubbed all fingers but her thumb over your sensitive lips and clit, a few seconds of that, a helpless whine from you, a pleading “fuck Tess…”, before she licked over your clit again and kept switching between those two actions in intervals that absolutely wrecked you.

you had no idea where to put your hands, so you ended up squeezing your own tits as she fucked you to a point of ecstasy, eventually returning to only using her tongue when she felt you nearing your orgasm, “fuck, don´t stop, please” you cried, as she sucked even harder than before. her hands gripped you as your back arched up because you felt the climax spreading from your core to the rest of your body with a burning, rapid heat, your muscles all tense, your cunt soaked and throbbing under Tess´s lips, your eyes shut and pathetic moans falling from your lips as you came, your hands in her hair and your hips rocking up to ride it out. she held her tongue in place and got lost in the bliss of feeling you hold her in place, feeling your sweet taste get smeared all over her lips and chin, hums of pleasure as she patiently witnessed your orgasm in all its beauty, your inner thighs soft against her cheeks as you pressed them together, your high-pitched sounds, your naked body all angelic looking in the dim light.

Tess loved few things more than making women cum, it addictive to her, the feeling of pleasing someone so well that they were left all blissed out and speechless, which was exactly how she left you in that moment. once you had tired yourself out and savored the full effects of your finish, you slowly calmed down again, your legs shaking and your whole body on fire as you went slack and tried to catch your breath. Tess was still between your legs, looking up at you with a satisfied smile before she kissed your inner thighs, softly, while whispering “such a sweet girl, hm”, lost in a feverish affection for you, out of breath and turned on to a point of soaking her underwear from all the sounds you´d just made for her.

after a moment of gentle care, she moved up to sit next to where you were laying and put her hand to your cheek, a smile from you then, “that felt really good” you said, genuine, unable to make any jokes, she smiled back at you, her hand traveling down to your chest. she could tell from the way you were moving your legs a bit, from the slight restlessness, that you might not be fully done yet, a gentle tone as she asked, “do you want a bit more?”.

you were worn out but not to an unpleasant degree, and you did want to keep going, so you nodded, a hand on her arm, “yes. might need a bit of help though” you laughed a quiet laugh that made her heart melt, she was determined then, “I´ll give you all the help, don´t you worry, I´ve got this. come on, sit up for me” she gave your thigh a light slap and moved to the middle of the bed to kneel. “come here” she beckoned you towards her and didn´t have to say it twice, you mirrored her position and got on your knees too, right across from her, your hands on her shoulders for support. she looked at you, her hands on your waist for a second, “you wanna ride my fingers? would you like that, hm?”, she would never push you to do anything you didn´t feel thrilled about, so she made sure, but you were eager, “yes, please”, so she leaned closer and breathed against your lips as she put her hand to where you were still wet and slowly pushed two of her fingers into you, a gasp from you, a tightening of your hands on her arms, “you good?” she asked, “yeah, keep going”, you breathed, needy and desperate to feel her inside of you. Tess knew how to do it, she let you adjust to it as you felt yourself stretching around her, until she was knuckle deep and kept her hand still for a moment, so you could find a good position, a whining sound, a sighed “fuck..” as you slowly started moving. the thing that drove you insane almost immediately was that she wrapped her free arm around your lower back to hold you close and support you, that tender care she always showed even while dominating, a reassuring grip on you as you were face to face and you fucked yourself on her fingers, trying to see what pace to go at, your eyes shut, a deep ache at your core that was even more intense from all the stimulation you´d gotten before. you were still raw and it made her fingers slide in and out with an ease, the sensation of the hot, soft inside of your cunt, the wetness all over her fingers, enough to make Tess lose her mind too, her lips parted, her mind taken over by the thought “I´m gonna die from this, she´s too beautiful”.

you threw your head back and found an angle that made her fingers hit you at the exact right spot, so you let her hold you as you moved your hips, that were sore by that point. she was cooing at you, her tone soft as she said “that´s it, keep going sweetie”, her fingers curling up inside of you to help you out, to hit your weak spot, overwhelmed by the dream-like feeling of having you so close, in that utterly vulnerable state, all hers to please and admire.

you clung to her, a cry as you felt yourself lose all composure, “fuck, fuck, Tess” a kiss to your cheek from her then, whispered encouragements, “I know, shh, it´s okay, I got you, breathe”, she could tell that you weren´t in pain but fully lost in the intense pleasure of it all, so she talked you through it and held you tight, her hand firmly between your legs, never moving away, letting you use her fingers however you wanted, your hips more frantic as you chased another orgasm, both of you at risk of thinking you were in love then, as you breathed heavy in unison and felt each other´s body heat radiating, smelled each other´s scent, a dizzying mix of being freshly showered but sweat-striken, a hint of sweetness to it, her lips on your neck, taking it in, kissing you where you had given her perfect access from leaning back into her embrace, your head turned to the ceiling.

“fuck I´m close” you sighed, followed by a serious of moans, which made her tighten her arm around your back, “good, I wanna see you cum again, pretty girl” she breathed, watching you intently, which gave you a final push, her intense gaze, her steadiness and strength as you took your hand and rubbed your clit to really finish hard, a mess by that point. the second climax was less violent but somehow deeper in your core, an intense shudder as you felt yourself clenching around her fingers and moved your hand away to hold onto her neck, your hips slowing down until you were truly exhausted and put your head on her shoulder for a second. she slowly moved her fingers out of you and wrapped her arms around your back to support you during the aftershocks, your limbs soft, your body hot, a content sigh, that made her rub her hands up and down and whisper, “you good now, hm? enough?”. you gave a tired laugh and peeled yourself away from her chest to face her, to give her a kiss, the taste of you still faintly on her lips. “it´s hot that you´d keep going, but if you did more right now I´d pass out” you said, which she took as a compliment, a pleased smile, watching you as you crawled back towards the pillows and slumped down onto your back, your eyes shut for a second, bliss written all over your face.

Tess moved up from the bed then, to open the window next to her nightstand and let some fresh air in. during sex she´d never keep it open, but it was safe to do it when you were just talking, since the other cabins were far away and her bedroom window faced the forest.

afterwards, she claimed the empty side of the bed, laying on her side as she looked at you, her finger tracing your outline, enamored by your post-sex glow, the relaxation and joy you excluded, the knowledge that she had it in herself to make you feel that way, the urge to do it all over again, as soon as possible. you felt similarly struck by your intense affection for her and reached out to take her hand, laying it on your stomach and turning to get a better view of her, her beautiful, strong physique in just her underwear, your leg draped over hers to have some skin contact.

you both looked at each other then and shared a smile that said “what even is there to say right now?” because nothing seemed like a proper way to just start talking again after everything that had just happened, after your lives had drastically changed in just under an hour.

“you want me to be obsessed with you, don´t you?” you asked, which made her laugh, a faux-bashful batting of her eyelashes at your admission that she was a great lover. “couldn´t hurt. I mean, now that I have broken my rule of not getting involved with anyone who works here, might as well do it right, go all in”. the way your face lit up when you realized what she´d just implicitly told you, was incredibly sweet to her, the apparent relief you felt over being special in that way, a bit of pride in there too maybe. you leaned closer to her then, “wait, really? you never did this before, ever?”, she shook her head, amused by your disbelief, flattered by your belief that she might be a bit of a player, “no, and that´s why I kind of lost my fucking mind this week, because I thought I was fine on my own but uh… turns out celibacy really isn´t for me after all.” that made you smile, “I´m glad I could help then” you joked, playing with her hair a bit, she nodded, a caress over your side.

you both could have asked each other a million things then, but it was not the moment for that yet, you wanted to let your intimacy expand in that warm, dark room, to use the time you had in private for wordless affection, to bask in the glow of that first revelation as new lovers.

your strength had come back, so you moved on the bed and got on top of her, your legs on either side of her thighs, smiling down at her, her hands on your waist, as you saw how much she liked having you on herself like that. “you´re killing me you know” she whispered, “am I?” you said, grinning, before leaning down and kissing her neck, a sigh from her, a moment of you being in charge and making her feel good, before she grew too hot from the feeling of your lips and tongue on her pulsepoint and pulled you down, to have you laying on her, her arms firm around your back. the second she did that, you gladly surrendered, your cheek against her chest, the front of your body full engulfed in her warmth, a deeply soothing feeling, a soft gust of wind in the room, the faint sound cicadas outside, a moment that you wished you could live in forever.

she spoke, quietly, her voice low, “I wish you could sleep here”, a sigh after. you knew why you couldn´t of course, but you wanted her to know you also desperately wished you could stay, “I can´t?” you said, your tone dramatic, clearly overdoing it, which made her smile. she traced patterns on your back. “I mean, if you want me to lose my job, feel free to get caught leaving my place tomorrow morning”, that made you laugh, reminded of the fact that you were technically doing something that was considered scandalous and fucked up, even though it felt so pure and sacred. “oh I´d just take the fall for you, don´t you worry. I´d say I drugged you or something”.

Tess laughed, she loved having someone with her who matched her humor effortlessly, “okay easy on the savior complex, I appreciate the sentiment though. but we´ll just have to get creative, we´ll find ways, I will think of something”, you agreed, eager and emphatic, “yes, exactly. and sneaking around is kinda hot, isn´t it?”. Tess knew what you meant, it did add a layer of eroticism to it all, the fact that you´d have to restrain yourselves in front of others, “sure, yeah. a bit of torture, why not ”, you looked up at her then,“torture? that bad huh?”, she put her hand on your head, gently, ruffling your hair a bit, “yes. but then again, building up tension could be good. for you.” a suggestive tone, a sparkle of desire in your eyes, “oh I know. looking forward to it”.

you moved up to kiss her then, which ended in her pushing your to the empty side of the bed to have some control again, a lazy, late-night kind of kissing that was slower than before, the tension already relieved, so you could just melt into each other and draw it out, sensual instead of aggressive making out, smiles in between, brief breaks for her to kiss your cheek or for you to kiss her shoulder, a familiarity to it that made it fee like you´d been together many times before. both of you had gone a while without intimacy, so you shared a kind of gratitude and wonder, a feeling of “oh right. this is what I was missing”, a sudden clarity about your deep need for another woman´s care, touch, attention.

eventually, you both realized that it had gotten late, so you knew you´d have to go to her living room and get your clothes. before you could get up to leave the room though, she said “wait, I think I have something you could use”, remembering that you´d shown up in a thin tank top and that it had probably gotten a bit chilly out. you sat at the edge of her bed, still nude, and somehow fully comfortable, her bedroom a safe haven of sorts, the sound of the forest at night, the look of soft wind making the curtains dance a bit, the cozy vibe of the wooden furniture and wood beams on the ceiling, it all made it hard not to sulk over having to leave.

she went over to her wardrobe and reached up to grab something, which gave you a moment to just admire the sight of her back, her shoulder blades, her hair falling down in beautiful waves. “here” she said, as she walked back over to you and handed you a shirt, “nobody´s ever seen me wear this, so, you can keep it”, a conspirative smile. it was a black oversized t-shirt, which was worn out in a way that made it perfectly soft to the touch, you smiled back at her and stood up from the bed to pull it over your head and see how it fell down your body. “look at that, perfect” she said, a nod of approval, very into the idea of you maybe wearing the shirt out and about in the coming days, everyone else blissfully unaware that it was hers. there was certain possessiveness to the pleasure she took in that image.

once you were in the living room again, you quickly went over to the couch and picked your own top up from the floor, while she left you alone for a moment and went over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. she stood at the sink and drank a full glass in seconds, realizing just then how thirsty she had gotten, and filled it up again after to come over and hand it to you. you took it and gulped it down just as fast as her, thinking about how nice it was, to experience a simple intimacy like sharing a glass with someone, she could have given you your own, but she opted for the romantic option, which made you feel hopeful.

something about the way she treated you seemed far from casual or like you were a hook-up to her, it was somehow an unspoken thing between you, that you´d behave like girlfriends even though you weren´t, that you´d skip the awkwardness and guessing games and go straight into the depth of your affection, without fear or shame, without thinking “it won´t last, what´s the point”. there was a generosity in your connection, an immediate willingness to bear the uncertainty and potential heartbreak of being so into each other but so unfit for a proper relationship, there was no question about it, you would not ruin the joy you felt by comparing your affair to something conventional, you were both too glad to finally have someone you felt so seen by, someone you simply liked to be around, as much as possible.

both you and Tess walked towards her front-door after you were done drinking, standing there, face to face, her leaning against the wall, you staring at her, quiet and unsure how to part ways. you wanted to go in for an embrace but weren´t sure if she wanted you to, which she could read in your body language, so she stepped forward and helped you out. she put her arms around your back and felt you relax immediately, your head in the crook of her neck, your hands on her lower back, a satisfied sigh, your eyes closed, as you said “fuck. I really don´t wanna leave”.

she smiled, you could feel her nod, “and I don´t want you to. but, I will think of something for the next few days, we will have time alone again, I will go fucking insane otherwise, so”, you laughed then, you knew that she was strong-willed, so you trusted her to figure it out, besides, you had a few ideas of your own on how to be in private. you stole a bit more time with Tess by staying in her arms for a bit longer, not moving, trying to soak up the last bit of her warmth that you would get that night, until you let her go and put your hands on her shoulders to look into her eyes, deeply, with urgency. “I hope you can tell that this isn´t just some random crush or fling for me. I really like you, Tess”.

it touched her that you were brave enough to spell it out, so she returned the honesty, a tender smile, “I can tell, yes. and it´s the same for me. I wouldn´t just do this for fun, I care about you, in whatever way I can or should. I just want you to feel comfortable, alright?” you put your hands on her face then, “I always feel comfortable around you. that´s why I´m here, I feel good with you”, the plain way you put that went straight to her core, she shook her head and laughed quietly, “okay, you need to go, or I will do something stupid and let you stay”, “well, I´ll go then. let you keep your job for a bit longer”, she nodded, “thank you. very generous. besides-” she pointed behind you at a small clock on the wall “you broke curfew. it´s 10:20”, a grin as she said this. “damn. am I in trouble now?” you joked. she shook her head while stepping forward and whispered “no, I´ll excuse it” before tilting your head back and giving you a soft kiss goodnight.

you both braced yourselves for the separation then, she opened the door for you and felt a cool gust of wind rush into the room, goosebumps as you stepped out onto the porch and put on your shoes that you´d left there. the night sky was dark but a few stars were visible, the forest was both eerie and calming at that hour, it felt cinematic almost, how you both stood there and gave each other a longing last look. “goodnight, sweet dreams” Tess said, leaning against the doorframe the same we she had when she´d let you in earlier, that same confident stance, but a different expression, her feelings for you more transparent, no effort to hide anything anymore. “you too. see you tomorrow” you said, before tearing your eyes away and walking down the few steps to make your way back.

the walk back was bittersweet. you wanted nothing more than to turn right back around and beg her to let you stay. you wanted to get under the covers with her and fall asleep in her arms and wake up in the middle of the night to find that she had her back turned to you and to wrap yourself around her and to to wake up the next morning while she was already in the kitchen making coffee. that would have been the dream. but, there was also something beautiful about having a moment to yourself, to process everything that had just happened, in disbelief as you thought: “she liked me all along. she wanted to kiss me. she wanted to touch me. she wanted to hold me. she wants to do all of it again. she´s mine, for now, she´s all mine.” you almost skipped the steps up to the cabin, giddy and beaming with love. you quietly let yourself in and found all the girls sleeping soundly, so you were careful not to make a sound as you walked to your room, that was located at the very back of the cabin.

while you were doing that, Tess had decided against taking another shower because she wanted everything to linger. she left the glass that you´d drank from on her coffee table, she left the bag of candy right where you´d dropped it, the pillows exactly how you´d abandoned them when you´d gone to her room. every proof that she had of your stay, she wanted to preserve, at least til the morning, to remind herself that it hadn´t all been a dream.

the thing that made falling asleep so heavenly for her that night, was that her bedsheets still smelled like you, not intensely, but enough for her to press her face against the fabric and breathe in with her eyes closed and her mind flooded with flashes of from before, the way you´d looked at her before kissing her, the way your hands felt on her back, the way you sighed for her touch. Tess fell asleep smiling, which was not a regular occurrence.

it took you a while to fall asleep, but for once, it was because being awake was too good to cut it short. you laid in bed, in total silence, the moonlight shining through the curtains, and let your mind wander. it was that unmatched feeling of having such intense feelings for someone that you suddenly loved everyone and everything, out of nowhere, you saw the beauty in your situation, the utter luck you´d had with coming to the place you found yourself in, nothing but slow summer days and sun and fresh air and a life-changing connection ahead of you.

Tess was an early riser, so the next morning she got up around 5:30 and went outside at 6:00 to take her usual walk around the camp grounds.

she loved the solitude of it, the feeling of being the first one to greet the day, the knowledge that she´d notice if anything had disturbed the collective peace over night. it was a stunning start of the day, the sky a muted light blue as the sun rose and a light chill still hung in the air. she was in vintage levis jeans, and a grey t-shirt as she made her way towards the area where most of the cabins were located. she was lost in thought, until she saw something she usually didn´t see: a girl sitting on the steps up to her cabin. at first, she didn´t realize, but then she thought “that´s a bit too good to be true”, because it was you.

you had slept for a good while but eventually you´d become restless and wanted to take a moment to just appreciate the sunrise on your own, similar to her, a dream expression as everything from the night before came rushing back to you, your arms wrapped around your knees, your head resting on them until you spotted her and sat upright. your bright smile gave away that you were just as pleasantly surprised as her to meet again so soon, neither of you had gone outside thinking it would happen, and it was clear from how you both struggled to mask your desire to just run up to each other.

it was painful but also hot in a way, that you could not be too friendly in that moment because other cabin´s windows were facing you, you were out in the open, so you had to keep it cool. Tess walked close enough to balance one of her feet against the lowest step of the small staircase you were sitting on, giving you charged look while casually saying, “up so early, hm?”. you wanted to stand up and kiss her. she could tell, she was thinking the same thing. “yeah, couldn´t sleep for long. eventful night, much to process” you said, leaning back and watching her enjoy the subtext, “is that so?” her hands in her pockets, a smug expression, a nod from you, neither of you breaking eye-contact, the one act of intimacy you were safe to indulge in out in public. “and you?” you asked, “did you sleep well?”.

Tess knew what you wanted to hear, “I did yeah. I was really worn out for some reason” a suggestiveness to the way she said it that made your cheeks flush, already eager to feel her hands on you again. you were both quiet for a second, then she spoke more earnestly, “okay listen-”, she said, which made you perk up and look at her expectantly. “I am driving into town later, and I wondered if you might wanna come with me? I could show you a good place for coffee, I have to buy some stuff, you could tag along, get out of this place for a few hours. just a thought”. she was presenting it in a friendly, unassuming way, like something she might just offer to anyone but you were aware of what she was actually saying “I thought about it and this is the easiest way to get a few hours of time together. complete privacy, out of everyoneone´s sight”. you didn´t expect her to come up with something like that so quickly, but you should have known, she was always a few steps ahead, always reliable and unlikely to disappoint.

you were obviously all-in but you wanted to tease her for a moment, so you leaned back and eyed her with a smug grin, “I remember you saying that you don´t take people with you. no favoritism. no outside work bullshit, if I remember correctly”. she respected it, your cleverness, it turned her on frankly, to be messed with a bit, to be challenged, entertained, “well, I had a change of heart. and I do have a favorite, so, that is over anyway” a light nudge to your shoe from hers, a playful gesture she allowed herself, a second of letting herself be flirty.

you nodded, “you´re taking me on a date then, hm” she immediately shook her head, waving her index finger in the air, “absolutely not. I´m your boss, that would be fucked up”. you liked the game you were playing, it was somehow a good front for just how enamored you were with each other, but it shimmered through, “sure, strictly professional, got it”.

Tess removed her foot from the step then and pulled her hands out of her pockets to stand more securely again, “I leave at 11:30 sharp, so, be in the parking lot by then” she instructed, “I´ll be there” you said, giving her a look that said “I wish I could touch you right now”, her returning it as you both told each other to have a good morning and that you´d see each other later. you watched her walk away and counted down the minutes already.

by 11:25 you made your way up the entrance of the camp and spotted Tess leaning against her car when you exited the gates. again, you couldn´t just go up and be sweet because you were still on the premises, someone could see, so you got into the car after she opened the passenger door for you and waited for her to join. she didn´t waste any time and started the car to pull onto the small winding road. you smiled and eyeed her as she pulled down the window a bit and put on the radio, waiting, patiently. the road was empty, and you were out of everyone´s sight by then, so you leaned over to her and distracted her from driving, your hands on her face to finally give her the first kiss of the day, hard and passionate because you had to keep it short, two brief feathery kisses after the proper one, before you let her go and slumped back into your seat. to know that you were still just as eager for her touch the morning after, that it hadn´t just been a late-night moment of weakness, stunned her for a second. it was still a touch surreal to her that you´d picked her of all people to shower in affection like that.

she breathed out heavily and gripped the steering wheel hard to make sure you were safe, a grin on her face, her cheeks flushed, a glance over at you where she found you looking all happy with yourself. she reached out to touch your thigh then, a gentle caress followed by a squeeze, her eyes back on the road, “I think I don´t mind the whole sneaking around thing if this is what I´ll get from you”. you put your hand on hers, “oh that was nothing. I don´t want you to crash the car so I held back”, she nodded, aware that you weren´t bluffing, that you probably would have climbed right onto her if you could´ve. “sweet, very thoughtful.”

you closed your eyes for a moment and enjoyed the breeze coming in through your window but were ripped out of that relaxed state by a sudden buzz buzz buzz from your phone. it had connected to service again, and you hadn´t bothered to get internet access yet, so the notifications from the past days came popping up on your screen. you pulled it out of your back pocket and Tess took the opportunity to tease you a bit,“girlfriend tryna reach you?”, her tone low. you laughed, “oh yeah, sure”, and held out your phone to her to make her see the unspectacular nature of your lock screen: two messages from your phone provider, one from a college group chat, and one from your mother that was already a few days old, nothing more.

she took a brief glance at it before looking back at the road, a grin before she said, “well, that´s a bit pathetic, isn´t it?”, clearly not actually degrading you, still, you threw her a faux-offended look. “oh let´s see your phone then, miss, I don´t think I have much competition either” she nodded, amused by your attitude, you were right of course. “sure. looks like we ended up like this because we´re both lonely and desperate, huh?”.

you both knew it wasn´t true, you´d have been into each other, even if there´d been other people you were talking to, but it was fun to mess around, so you said, “exactly, two losers”, both of you smiling to yourselves smugly then as you watched the trees passing by, the forest getting thinner as you neared the town.

the drive wasn´t too far, so about fifteen minutes later she pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. before moving to get out, she looked in the rearview mirror and tried to do something with her hair, to put it up.

it reminded you of that first time you´d seen her in her office, a loving sound to your voice when you said “your hair is very pretty by the way”. it made her smile even though she was struggling with her hair tie, unsure if she should put her hair up all the way or only half. “thank you. I really don´t love it right now, though.” that gave you an idea then, “should I braid it for you? you wanna have it out of your face, right?” you asked, which made her pause what she was doing.

Tess knew how to braid her hair but she wasn´t gonna say that, she liked the idea of having you do it, so she agreed, “okay, yeah, sounds like a good idea”.

you told her to get out of the car because it would work better if you could stand straight behind her, so a few seconds later she was facing away from you as you gently pulled all of her hair back, taking a moment to just feel it soft in your hands, brushing it with your fingers to make sure there weren´t any knots in there. you could tell that she loved it, the sensation of what you were doing, so you took a bit longer than necessary, to part her hair into three even sections, the sound of her barely suppressing a sigh too delicious to speed to process along.

you diligently braided her hair in a way that was not too tight, that would give it a slightly messy look, the way she usually wore it, carefully tying it together at the bottom and giving her an order for once “turn around”. it made her smile, she didn´t mind being bossed around a little, even though that was more her style. once she faced you, you pulled the braid to the front, a move that charmed her, and reached up to add a finishing touch, making her hairline look effortless and natural by pulling two face framing pieces out of the braid, a satisfied look to you then.

“yeah. you look good, suits you” drawing out the “good”, which made her laugh, her hands on your shoulders then, “I could get used to that you know” she said, her expression soft and content, you smiled “I have more where that came from. could give you a proper massage or something”. she raised her eyebrows, her hands still on you, “well, I think I know where that would lead”, you shrugged “and?”, you were bold, yet again, and it did feel good, but she wasn´t gonna fold that easily, “and.. I´m not gonna be on the receiving end so fast”, you didn´t buy it, that she wasn´t into the idea at all, “no?”.

Tess insisted, “no. I´m the giver here, for now”, you felt like pushing her a bit, “damn. I thought I could persuade you. you dont wanna see me on my knees, no?”, she peeled herself away from you then, afraid she might flush from that way of phrasing it, “easy” her tone a bit stronger than,“you do hm, you´d love it”, you liked seeing her a bit flustered, “okay you had your fun here, we should go now” an intense look from her then that made you surrender, still, you were smiling, “I´ll bring it up again eventually, see if your feelings might have changed”. Tess just shrugged it off “sure, you go ahead and try”. secretly she was turned on by it, the feeling of having someone that eager to please her, and she knew you´d have no issue being used by her in a way, to let her have control even when she was the one unraveling, she did feel a heat from the image of you begging to touch her, have her, taste her, it could be really hot she thought, to draw it out, to watch you confess how much you wanted it, the pleasure of returning the favor for her. “we have the whole summer” she thought, “we´ll have some fun”, already dreaming of what you might get up to.

the vibe in town was peaceful and slow, the sun not too intense yet but the light golden and ideal to give the few stores a flair that gloomy weather would have made impossible. the walk to the cafe wasn´t far, so a few minutes later you were ordering your coffees, her paying for both of them as you looked around the room at the few other guests, the rustic but somehow very comforting interior, the windows all open to let fresh air in, a smile permanently frozen on your face because it felt good, to stand in her shadow, to feel what it would be like to be her girlfriend, the casual intimacy of going out for breakfast together.

eventually, you both took your places at a table near the door as she slid a plate over to you, saying “here, eat” while pointing at the pastry she´d gotten, aware that you had only had some fruit earlier that morning, unwilling to let you remain hungry in her presence.

the vibe between you then was sweet and charged with intense infatuation, there was a feeling on both of your parts of “I desperately wanna know more about her but I also don´t wanna bore her with obvious stupid questions”, so neither of you asked the big existential things like “tell me about your parents” or “what was your childhood like” or “what are you scared of”, but got into a rhythm of asking more specific questions that seemed less intense but naturally lead to a discussion that was exciting, that gave space for you to reveal some things that the other might be amused or entertained or touched by, her dropping some things about her wilder years when she still lived in a big city, when she did shit that you could not compare to any of your stories, you confiding in her about how it was to finally move away from home, how your first months at college went, how you settled in, the better moments, the darker ones too.

there was a contrast to both of your lives, not just because of the age difference, that made it easy be fascinated by each other, to keep wanting more information, to try and get a full picture of who you were so enthralled by, it was a rewarding and enjoyable task, to sit there and look at each other, to pay full attention, to smile and be charmed by each other mannerisms, as you let certain aspects of your personalities shine through, that most others didn´t often get to see.

at one point you asked her “be honest, what did you think of me when we met? I had no idea, couldn´t tell, at all”, which she used only one word to answer “hot.” a grin as she said it, while leaning down to take a sip of her coffee. at another point she was telling you about some of the previous summers, lore about the place, including one of her less composed moments that others had told you bits and pieces about already, when a male worker had gotten a bit too friendly with the teenage girls, which ended in her smacking him so hard over the head he almost lost consciousness. it almost got her fired, had the other workers not testified that he was in fact a creep and had to be let go.

she liked the way you smiled when she talked about it, like you were eager to see it first-hand, her rightfully putting someone in their place with a little violence, or more than a little. “well, I think it´s cool, I could´ve used someone like you in my younger years” you said with a look of approval after she told you all that, which she didn´t press on about, unwilling to let herself get riled up by past stories of men being inappropriate with you, still, it was a nice feeling, to know that you weren´t turned off by her intensity, by her unwillingness to shrink herself or make herself more demure or feminine to appease others, whatsoever.

neither of you noticed the time passing as you had already finished your drinks because you were so at ease and lost in conversation, you taking her hand in yours for a moment while she spoke, her sometimes leaning back in her chair to watch you with her arms crossed, the kind of attention that always got to you, both thrilling and soothing at the same time. Tess quickly grew to love it, that you never seemed nervous or unsure with her, the way you reminded her of a cat basking in a patch of sunlight whenever she made a point of letting it shimmer through in her eyes, that look she got when she was into someone, a quiet intensity about it that made you feel warm and open whenever you felt her gaze on you.

eventually, she knew it was probably about time to get going, but as she leaned forward then, she had an instinct she couldn´t suppress, her palm flat on your thigh, an immediate change to your breathing as you stared at her then, your lips parted, a delicious shock to your system as she moved her hand up and down a little, caressing you in a way, while pretending she had no idea what she was doing. “shall we?” a nod of her head towards the door, her hand still right where she put it, a reminder of the night before, shamelessly using it to her advantage, how easily affected by her touch you were, drinking in the sight of you growing desperate for more. you placed your hand on hers then, shaking your head, thinking “you started it, let´s finish it then”, “not yet, we should go freshen up, right?”, your tone not hard to interpret, a slow nod from her, something like respect in there, “always the quiet ones hm” she whispered to herself as you both got up, still in disbelief over how into her you were, that it wasn´t just a light crush born out of boredom but genuine desire.

you were the one to close the door behind yourself, and someone else might have grabbed you the moment you did that, but Tess reliably just stood there, patient, waiting for you to give in first, again, which you did, unable to put up a composed front, a quick step toward her to grab her face and pull her in for a deep kiss, a few seconds of restraint from her until she took charge and pushed you back against the door, finally, as close as you´d been dying to be all morning. both of you were clumsy with your kissing for a moment out of sheer need, breathing into each other´s open mouths for a second before continuing, working each other up, on purpose, an immediate heated mix of embracing, making out, and feeling each other up, her knees brushing up against yours, both of you frantically trying to dissolve any boundaries between your bodies, that thing of early stage infatuation where no amount of touch is ever enough, her hands under your shirt, pushing it up to grope your chest, yours on her back, her skin warm and soft as you let your fingers slide to her sides, right above her hips, holding onto her as you felt her thigh between your legs, that shared feverish bliss of being new lovers, faint stifled “hmm” sounds as you kissed, your tongue against hers as the kissing slowed down and turned more sexual, closer to the kind of kissing that happens before getting on top of each other, far from anything you could ever do in public.

because of you, Tess remembered how fucking divine kissing the right person felt, how easy it would be for her to spend a good while doing just that, she would find a way to have you over and just make out to build up tension until one of you would cave, drawing it out to see how pathetic you´d both get with it, how you´d maybe end up just finishing from grinding against each other.

for a good two minutes you did your very best to leave each other breathless and flushed with your clothes out of place. you were still obsessed with her scent, just like the sound of her heavy breathing, and the feeling of being in that enclosed dark space with her, her body flush against yours, the vibe of something akin to sex that you got from your wandering hands, the movement of your hips, doing something you shouldn´t be doing but would again and again, turned on by it all, the way you were both suppressing louder sounds and holding back the urge to undress each other.

Tess had an idea of how she could see you fold a little, she was usually sparse with her words, with confessions, she preferred subtext, but in that moment, she wanted to be bold, to catch you off guard, so she leaned in, right next to your ear, her voice husky and low as she whispered, “I want you all over my mouth again. have you sit on my face.”, an immediate violent rush of heat to your core.

“oh, yeah?” you sighed, quietly, which gave away how easy it was for her to render you weak, she knew she had you exactly where she wanted you, eager to hear her say more, your hands clinging to her shirt. she kept her mouth close enough for you to feel her breath, her hands slipping into your shorts then, the space between the fabric and your thighs, your heartbeat quicker, “hm, wasn´t long enough last night, I kept thinking about it after, your taste, couldn´t sleep”, she said after a moment of silence, a labored breath from you, a sound close to a whimper that made her push further, “you think you could last long?”.

“yes.”, you´d let her turn you into a mess, she could take however long she wanted, you wanted her to. “think you could finish just from head more than once?”, another nod, “yeah” you knew that with her you could, easily, “hm, I´ll try my best next time then”, she gave your face a brief kiss, “won't have to try too hard” you said, a smile from her, “no?” she tilted her head, one hand on your cheek then, her thumb brushing over your lower lip.

you had an idea then, “here, you didn´t even touch me and yet” you guided her other hand into your underwear, her fingers to where they got slicked up from the wetness that had gathered there, her eyes wide for a second as she felt it, “jesus… just from kissing me? you´re a fucking dream, huh”. she was clearly not used to it, being wanted that badly.

you sighed, your breath hitched, your hands on her sides, she was just moving her fingers a bit but got the feeling you might be in for more. she knew you couldn´t take much longer in that bathroom, she knew they´d get suspicious or pissed off, but Tess had to know, “could you.. right now?”, “easily” you said, convinced, already basically halfway there.

“really?”, she asked, moving her fingers up to your clit, a convinced nod, a light moan from you, a pleading tone,“give me a minute of that and I´m done”. she took the challenge, impressed by your forwardness, turned on by it, “okay then, show me”. she looked at you as you shut your eyes and leaned your head against the door, fingernails digging into her arms as you held onto her, her hand between your legs, a fast movement of her fingers over your clit, savoring the feeling of your arousal, a hunger in her, the desperate need to find a way to eat you out again as soon as possible. you bit down on your lip to stay quiet but she was giving you exactly what you needed, the kissing had gotten you so worked up that it didn´t take long of her jerking you off to make you finish, her left hand over your mouth, a cocky smile as she watched you have an orgasm that was satisfying but not violent, the kind that was perfect for the middle of the day, quick but sensual and romantic in a way, a sweet release.

she stared at you from up close when she took her hand away, “god, you´re so pretty”, a few more touches from her until she stopped and watched you open your eyes, a tired smile, a sudden move that made her crumble completely: your hand reaching down for hers, so you could pull it to your mouth lick yourself off her fingers, her voice pained almost, “okay, I´m losing my mind here, we have to go”

there was a bi-weekly farmer´s market in town, that was a large part of why Tess kept up her routine of driving there about at least once a week. the one clear advantage of being in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by land, was the fresh produce that she´d have no access to in the city. the market wasn´t too big, about a dozen stands, but every single table looked enticing in its own way, strawberries and homemade jam, various shapes and sizes of tomatoes, jars of honey and other condiments, fresh pastries and bread, you let her take the lead since she clearly knew most people there, friendly smiles thrown her way or a “the usual?” when she approached the vendors.

anyone you spoke to, man and woman alike, made a point of being sort of flirty in a polite way with you, giving you a few things to try since you were a new face and they clearly wanted to win you over, and Tess felt smug as hell witnessing all that, thinking “if you knew why she´s actually here with me”, whenever someone seemed charmed by you. she felt a sense of pride over the fact that she of all people was the one who you were focused on. she made you pick between a few choices, she enjoyed it having someone there with her for once, letting someone else make the decisions, asking you “this one or that one?” when deciding between two options. it felt domestic and couple-like almost, so you gladly helped out, until you both walked away, sharing a piece of the fluffy sourdough bread that had just been baked a few hours earlier, a shared sound that bordered on a moan as you both nodded at each other in approval.

you asked her if there was anything else worth showing to you, and she almost said “no” before she thought of something and lead you down the street. there was a used bookstore that she sometimes stopped by when she was in town by herself, and she had a feeling you might like it, the slightly shabby but charming atmosphere, the endless rows of obscure books with the occasional gem here and there.

the elderly woman at the back of the store thankfully just gave a brief hello and a nod and left you to it as you looked around, both of you quiet for a moment as you scanned the shelves for something interesting. it felt like you were somehow outside of the world, in a little space where nobody could reach you, the smell of aged paper and dust and the old building creating a deeply comforting atmosphere, it felt like time had briefly stopped, like you were hidden away from everything, so without any hesitation or fear of “is this too much?” you used the moment of peace and the to proximity to her, to lean your head against her shoulder, not because you were tired but because you felt so at ease and wanted to go slack for a moment, your eyes closed, a deep breath out, as you felt the fabric of her shirt under your cheek.

for a moment Tess just stood there, frozen, because she was not prepared for a random show of affection, one that was so undramatic and soft and yet so intimate, she knew then that she was already far gone, and she tried her best to not think about the inevitable heartbreak of parting ways at the end of the summer, she tried to stay present and to soak it up, so she didn´t say a word, didn´t break the sacred feeling of it, and put her arm around your back, her hand on your side, to pull you closer and let you stay like that for a moment, suppressing the instinct to whisper “my sweet girl”, scrapping the word “my”, saving it for later down the line when it would be less insane to call you hers, even though she could feel it, that for the time being, you were.

eventually, after briefly getting lost in the feeling of being patiently held by her, you peeled yourself away and said “okay, how about you pick one out for me and I pick one for you?”, a nod from her, “okay, deal”.

a few moments later she pushed a book into your hand with the comment “here, this should be right up your alley” a grin that gave away that she was fucking with you, an eye-roll and a shove to her side from you after you read the blurb, a god awful straight romance.“okay haha very funny. I was being sincere you know” she laughed, “not your thing? no?”, so you played the same game and handed her a book in return, a dry tone as you said “well, this should be your thing, I think”, some old novel from the 50s about a guy having a fucked up affair with his young assistant, but she wasn´t bothered, “sure, sounds hot”, a shake of your head, a suppressed smile, “go and find me something good now” you instructed.

you both did end up finding something rather fitting for the other person, leaving the store with the promise to underline and annotate your favorite passages and swap them once you were done, to see what the other person had thought. “guess I was romantic all along” Tess thought, when she realized how good it felt to not just date women in a strictly sexual way, to allow herself the pleasure of going out together and sharing her routine with someone. she´d walked those streets countless times, seen the same buildings again and again, and yet, the light that day seemed different, everything had a new shine to it, she looked at everything more generously, and it dawned on her how much she´d been missing out on, by telling herself that neutrality was the best thing to aim for, that a life completely devoid of surprise and change would be wisest for her. it seemed a bit too good to be true, that she was being rewarded that intensely for giving into her attraction to you, for a few seconds that day she had the feeling of being in some prolonged dream, that something would come and rupture it, but nothing came, you were there, next to her, and wouldn´t go anywhere for the next few weeks.

before getting back in the car, she leaned against the facade of the building next to where she´d parked, while you leaned against the passenger door, her smoking a cigarette while you pretended to be doing something on your phone, but quickly abandoning all that to watch her instead. it didn´t go unnoticed, a “what?” from her as she felt your eyes all over herself, a shrug from you, a smug smile, “nothing. you just look hot”.

she had one of her feet up against the wall, a relaxed and confident demeanor, her natural way of excluding security and strength, a sight that never got boring to you, she smiled, slowly exhaling in a way that she knew looked good, “your vision okay, sweetie?”, she joked, since she was still a bit unsure why she of all people was the one you were eyeing up and down the way you were, hungry in a way. she was not used to it, at all, being that overtly flirted with, pursued by someone, so it overwhelmed her system during those early days at times, to feel herself be the object of your desire in such an obvious way. still, she was a bit cocky after all and felt comfortable with playing her coolness up a bit to watch you falter, she wasn´t entirely devoid of vanity, so she let you look at her however you wanted while she finished her cigarette and already wondered about how and when she´d next be able to get her hands on you, to make good use of all the need you clearly had for her, to reward you for the way her body had been woken up and infused with vitality by your attention.

instead of going to her side of the car she walked over to you, her eyes fixed on yours, and took your face in her hands, gently, and the look you got in your eyes then, the way you leaned your head back, so she could run her fingers through your hair, that instant surrender to her touch, it all made her feel violently tender for you; she could tell that you wanted her to kiss you and that you didn´t expect her to do it in public, but the street was empty, so she took advantage of her position and leaned in to kiss you right next to your lips, her hands still at the sides of your face, a lingering kiss, a gentle one, a rush as you felt her show this soft side of herself to you, her, the woman who was so often described as intimidating and tough, using her strength to show you a kind of affection that nearly got a few tears from you.

just as she pulled away, a breeze swept through the street, a perfect mild gust of wind, both of you closed your eyes instinctively to properly feel it, the early afternoon sun just right on your skin, not burning but soothing, a moment of pure bliss as you pulled her back in to feel her lips against yours, trapped between the car door and her body, no place you´d have rather been, the faint taste of smoke as she returned the kiss, Tess turned on by the fact that you didn´t seem to mind at all, that you seemed to like it, judging by the way you kept kissing her until you both pulled away and smiled, shy and pleased, unsure how to process all the intense feelings you were bringing up in each other.

her hands slid down your body then, to your waist, her tone low, a bit cracked from the adrenaline, “you know.. ´m not big on airing out my feelings, but, you should know this has been really lovely. haven´t had a day like this in a good while” she was downplaying it, you could tell, but it wasn´t time for big confessions yet. “me neither. I´m really glad you let me come”. she grinned, her hands on your back to pull your hips against hers, “such a generous boss, aren´t I?” you put your hands in her back pockets,“oh for sure. easiest work-day of my life, I´d say”. “well, let´s see. might add some shit to your work load later. exhausting stuff”, you grinned“I´d hope so”.

on the drive back, you were both quieter than before and you without meaning to, you dozed off with your head leaning against the window.

Tess knew that falling asleep, or drifting off, the way you had in that moment, was a sign of a certain level of trust, and it warmed her heart, that even after only knowing her for about a week, you already felt that way around her, safe to not be fully conscious, to rest your head against the window and let the movement of the drive lull you into a relaxed state of being. she drove slower than she usually would have, to glance over at you every once in a while, to see the way the sun was hitting your neck, the shadows it was casting onto your face, a sudden desire to reach over and caress you, to pull over somewhere and wake you out of that state with a light kiss to your face, a moment of sleepy tenderness, she wanted to hear a faint laugh from you as you realized what she was doing. you didn´t realize it when she parked her car, didn´t get woken up by the stopping of her engine, so Tess decided to just sat there for a few minutes, instead of immediately telling to wake up.

she felt a sense of possessiveness in that moment, born out of her instinct to protect and shield, she loved having you in her car, to be in charge of your safety, to see you with your limbs slack, fully relaxed and taking deep slow breaths, unguarded and vulnerable, with only her there to watch over you. it wasn´t obvious, because you were good at not explicitly mentioning it, but Tess could tell from certain things you mentioned off-handedly, or certain subjects you purposely avoided talking about, that some memories were still weighing on you, even though you were presently in a good place; she could tell during certain moments where you thought that weren´t being observed, something about your face, your eyes when you were lost in thought, that your way of dealing with everything so calmly stemmed directly from your resilience in certain inescapable situations you´d been put through, had been made to survive through without breaking.

Tess knew she was predictable that way, that it wasn´t anything new, the fact that she was not built for casual attachment, that the idea of “we´re just having fun” was a foreign one to her; the moment she cared about someone, she had the natural instinct to take on a responsibility for the other person's sense of safety, not in a belittling or condescending way, she was well aware that someone like you was more than capable of handling their own shit, but she wanted you be able to put down your heavy feelings in her presence, like a bag you could leave at her doorstep and forget about while she was around. the desire to be that person for you wasn´t born out of the belief that you were easy to break, but that you should have at least a bit of experience with what I feels like to have a place where your resilience would not be tested, where the softer part of your heart could be exposed without any threat of bruising.

she couldn´t think about it all for too long, she was getting too intense about it already, she was aware, but still, she made a mental note to herself, to make it clear that it wouldn´t be burdensome at all, if you wanted her to listen to any of it.

Tess felt a deep need to have you with her for longer, she hated the idea of parting ways again, of sitting around and waiting for the next moment you´d get alone, she wanted to take you back to her place and make you lay down in her bed and rest there while she read or just sat there next to you, the window open, the intimacy of a warm afternoon spent in private together, but she knew she couldn´t do that, she knew she couldn´t just walk through her front door with you in the middle of the day while people were all around, at least not without finding a good excuse first.

for about five minutes she just sat with her back against the driver door and watched you, a mix of intense feelings swirling inside of her, not just desire, but other things too, a tenderness, a feeling of affection that was so far from anything she usually felt, so much so that she felt herself almost welling up, Tess of all people, the one everyone looked to for unwavering strength, moved to tears by the simple sight of a girl sleeping next to her. she thought “funny, how long you can go without something, until it´s there and you realize how badly you´d wanted it all along.” she might not have sat down at night and thought “I want a lover” but that didn´t mean she hadn´t always had that dream, the dream of feeling something again, of being stunned into a state of openness, after shutting herself off from the world for so long. she found herself thanking however had had the good instinct to hire you, to pick you, to send you her way, she wasn´t spiritual, but she did feel blessed or looked after by some force in that moment.

until she realized what time it was and got herself to finally place her hand on your shoulder, shaking as softly as possible, which made you sit upright again, to open your eyes and try to mask your obvious sleepiness.

“you could´ve woken me up” you said, slightly embarrassed, but she shook her head, “no, I´m not in a rush here” a grin, “besides, you look cute sleeping”. you cocked your head as willed yourself awake, “well, you could see it more if you let me stay the night” a batting of your eyelashes, she wasn´t immune, “maybe we can do something about that. I´m gonna think about it”.

both you and Tess got out of the car then and as you walked back towards the camp, she said, “you know, there´s this outdoor film thing later, and it´s not mandatory, so I doubt anyone would care or notice if you and I both happened to skip it. for all they know we could be doing god knows what on our own.” you glanced at her from the side, “oh, so I can come over later?” in slight disbelief over how easy it seemed. Tess nodded, “yeah, I´m asking you to. and don´t eat too much at dinner, I´ll make you something”, that got your attention, a lovestruck vibe to you then as you said, “yeah?” and studied her face to make sure she was being real. “yes, I didn´t ask you for your preferences earlier just to make small talk”. of course, she was always thinking ahead “you´re kinda spoiling me you know.” you mused, she protested, “hardly. this is bare minimum I´d say”, you shrugged, “to you maybe, but not to me”, she threw you a playful look then, “raise your expectations then, hm.”. you smiled, amused by her, “okay, I will.”.

Tess nudged you in the side then, “make me work for it a little” she teased, “sure, I can do that. but I´ll find a way to repay you for all of that, of course”, you said, a suggestive tone, she nodded, “I´m sure you will”.

you were both quiet for a moment, walking through the gates and gauging the vibe, thankfully it wasn´t crowded because it was a Saturday and everyone was free to do whatever they wanted during the day, which meant that during noon most of the kids were indoors, sleeping, relaxing.

Tess reached into her bag and tapped you on the shoulder, “here, take this”, she was holding out a ripe peach, one of a few that you´d picked out before. you took it in your hand and felt the soft fuzzy skin, “thank you, I will find a place in the shade, eat this, and think about you. that´s my plan for the rest of the day”. she was almost pissed that your overly romantic way of saying that, clearly eager to get a reaction, worked that well on her, a frustrated shake of her head, a smile, a hint of irony to her tone “perfect”. you stared at her then in a way that said “and you?”, so she gave in and nodded, “you want me to say it out loud, huh? that I´ll just be waiting to have you back?”, “yes, I do” you said, fully earnest, which hit a soft spot inside of her, the part that liked it, when someone didn´t make her guess about their love, at all. “clearly I will be doing just that. you did a number on me, in case you couldn´t tell”, you did know that of course, “we can just drive each other insane then” you joked, which she agreed with “yeah, I think that´s what´s gonna happen here. I´m not complaining though, to be very clear”, “me neither” you said, just as she let out an audible groan and said “god, what the fuck does he want now”.

you followed her gaze, you were back on the camp grounds by then, approaching the main area, and saw that one of your co-workers was making eye-contact with Tess and came walking in your direction. her open disdain made you laugh and nudge her in the side, “come on, lighten up a bit, he´s already scared of you, I think”. “good. I don´t need him to cozy up to me” you were amused by her lack of patience for him, compared to the limitless kindness she showed you, it made you feel like you were her partner who had to keep her in check, who had to remind her that not everyone was turned on by her intimidating aura. “okay, well, I will go deal with that, and you go relax. I´ll expect you by 6” she said, a warm smile towards the end of the sentence, a touch to your arm, that nobody would read as romantic, but that still affected you, the way any small gesture of hers could. you nodded, giving her a light touch too, “okay, I´ll be there.”

when you parted ways, both of you felt it, that no temporary distance could ever take away from the joy of having each other. it seemed like a beautiful thing to you, to spend the following weeks doing separate things during the day, but to always be aware of each other´s presence near, to always have each other to return to, to know that regardless of whatever stress or frustration you might face, you´d be able to look forward to relaxing into each other´s embrace again sooner or later. it was a kind of relationship that was hyper-specific to your circumstances, the kind that was too sacred to ever share with anyone, the kind that was invisible to other even though it had changed the light of your life, a softer, gentler feel to it, the way the sun hit your face, everything around you.

both you and Tess knew, without a doubt, that you had a summer ahead of you that no other would compare to. it already seemed like a memory that you´d look back at and think:

“how did I get that lucky? how did she just enter my life like that? so quietly and gently, and yet, so capable of changing it beyond recognition.”

#tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #the last of us x reader #the last of us hbo #tlou fanfiction

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