#she was kind of right but this girl is obviously having some kind of constant internal struggle and im just someone to project it onto

[twoshootsofvodka]

Where Roses Bloom, Love Shall Blossom

Nana x Male Reader

length: 18k words

tags: fluff, smut, creampie, little bit of ass-play, L-bomb

A/N: This is my first ever smut or even fanfic, and I know there is a lot of room to improve, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I may have used a few too many references/memes, so sorry in advance if it throws you off. It’s just kind of my style. I also self-inserted on occasion (like the whole premise of the story that came to me after watching this video), but I hope it’s not too disruptive. If you have any suggestions, critiques, or requests, my DMs and Asks are open. Other than that, happy birthday to Best Girl Nana, and thanks for reading or even sharing!

_______________________________________________________

[It's mid-April]

- We are all done, Sir! - Your makeup artist announces, after putting on the finishing touches.

- Thank you!

From the mirror in front, a more handsome version of you is staring back. He is the new favourite variety show host of the nation, who can make any of his guests laugh to tears, improvise in an instant when his partner slips up, and even outside set, is usually the heart of the party thanks to his easygoing and sensitive nature. He is the perfect media personality. So much so, that even you like to watch him from time to time.

But actually being him? It does get a bit overwhelming. The busy schedules, having to always be on your toes so you don't miss an opportunity to crack a joke, which is even harder, since you are still not completely fluent in Korean, and the constant smiling, even to guests you would rather not have. It's just a bit much. But obviously, you wouldn't change any of it. It’s a dream come true, really, getting to meet all these fantastic people in the industry.

- Is everything all right Sir?

The woman asks worriedly when she sees you lost in thought, fearing she messed something up.

- Of course! I'm just always surprised how you girls always manage to turn me actually handsome. I swear this isn't even a mirror, just a recording of me with filters on. You reply with a warm smile, waving her worries away.

- Hehe! Of course it's not Sir. And I didn't even add much makeup at all. Just a touch up really.

- In any way, you did a fantastic job. Thank you!

- Thank you Sir, and you're welcome.

You stand up, and read some news while you wait for further instructions. You haven't checked any of the previous episodes of this show, because you wanted to make your appearance authentic. You also wanted to figure out your partner during the chat, without narrowing the possibilities down.

The only prep you had to do was choosing a nickname (truly a gamer's worst nightmare), and getting a picture of yourself as a kid. It took mere hours to find a name that could lead your partner into guessing who you are without immediately giving it away, or even the fact that they are talking to a foreigner: The Little Prince.

After a bit, the director finally calls for you. As discussed, you put in the noise-cancelling earphones, queue up some of your latest favourite songs, and take a seat on the left side of the set. The playlist consists mostly of K-pop songs, since it's highly likely that your partner is an idol, and the songs might help you figure out their identity, if their song comes up at a good time.

They tell you to scan the QR code on the table in front of you, which opens the chat room. Your partner enters right after, and you read their name: Judy.

*First clue. They are most likely a girl. In which case, I should take the initiative.*

Having worked with over a hundred idols, you start to wonder whether you've met them already

Hello there!

ㅎㅎ Hello

*Second clue: probably doesn’t know prequel memes.*

Should we drop the honorifics?

Oh, so suddenly? Sure

*Third clue: presumably Korean.*

How are you?

I'm great! You?

Me too

*Maybe I should have prepared some questions at least. Not particularly in the mood to improvise.*

Thankfully you don't have to think much, as you see three little dots pop up, indicating that the person on the other end is typing.

I was wondering What's your favourite season?

You don't even need to think about this. Spring for sure Not even close

OMO Mine too The weather has been so nice lately

YES!!! And the colours And the smells And the bees And the birds I love it so much

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I see I feel the same way I already think we will be good friends

I hope we will bee Sorry I had to sneak in at least one pun

Don't apologise for being funny!

Heh, thanks How about sunsets?

I love sunsets! Half my gallery is filled with pictures of sunsets

Saaame One day, I saw the sunset forty−four times! You know−− one loves the sunset, when one is so sad...

Oh But How?

Oh, that's just a quote From The Little Prince

Aaaah Your name! Have you read it many times?

Once every year for the past few years I like to see how much more I understand every time I read it With that I know how much I've changed since last year

Hmm Very sentimental Maybe But back to spring and sunsets I have a great place I visit in late spring It's a bit far out from the city, but the flowers and sunsets are more than worth it I can show you one time, if you're down

Sounds great! I also have a place I visit when I'm free I can take you there in return

Nice

*Should I also reveal my birthday? Eh, why the hell not.*

Maybe you can take me there for my birthday It's coming next month

I can But only if you take me to your place on my birthday

Sure When is that?

This month

I see Another spring child No wonder we're on the same wavelength

That's what I was about to say!

The conversation dies off for a bit, but before you have come up with a new topic, the tablet in front of you comes to the rescue.

"Send each other your screenshot of your homepage"

You first check your screen to make sure there isn't anything on it that's scandalous, or would give you away. After not finding anything needing to be removed, you send 'Judy' the picture. Hers arrives shortly after that. At first glance, it's nothing special. Solid black background, neatly ordered folders with english names that all end with a blue heart emoji.

*Maybe she likes blue?*

You have similar folders, all in English too, but there are some extras. Notably meditation and gaming. The background is different though, as it's a picture of your beloved furry companion.

I see you have Netflix downloaded What have you been watching lately?

Ah, yes Mostly American teen movies so I can improve my English Nice

*Yeah, def Korean.*

But I also watch a lot of animations and YouTube

Like what?

Mukbang, and Jangbbijju Also this (네가 빠진 세계 - fall for you)

She sends you the thumbnail of an unfamiliar show

Never seen this Maybe I will watch it later You should! The fantasy genre is interesting And the heroine is really pretty

*Judy is a girl, all right*

Yeah, Nana is really pretty

Right? You know her?

I do But I know every idol I've never met her though Have you?

No, but I'd love to She seems fun

Right, she does

There is short of silence before Judy sends a message

Is that your dog in the background? It's really cute

Yes he is! He's my best friend He's turning 10 this year

Oh, he's getting quite old

Yeah, but he's just as youthful as a puppy

Awww Good to hear And I see you meditate?

Yes My days can get pretty hectic It helps me stay relaxed and focused

Maybe I should try it

You should It’s pretty easy I can teach you the basics if you want

Thanks ^^ Are you an idol? Is that why you do it?

Noooo I can't dance at all And I sound like an untuned violin played by a 4 year old

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ There are some prodigies who can play well at that age

Sure, but not this one

And the gaming folder? You got games on your phone? 👀

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I have a few to pass the time I mostly game on PC But certainly not as much as I used to

And what do you play?

Some League and Overwatch with friends I also picked up the new Zelda game recently

I love Nintendo games!

Yeah, they rarely miss The company's shit though Super greedy

*That's gonna get cut from the video*

O.O Are they?

Uhh yeah But let's not get into that What music have you been listening to?

She sends you a picture of her Spotify queue

Interesting Much less Korean than I thought And I only know a few of them

Send me yours

One sex *sec!!! I meant sec!

*Good grief...*

Hmmm I don't know any of these

Yeah I thought you wouldn't Not the genre a 'Judy' would listen to

*hmph* I'll let you know, my music taste is very diverse I bet not even the viewers know these songs

I'll take that bet What do I win?

A kiss

HUH?

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Just kidding I'm not sure yet

Okay... How about you buy me some tteokbokki if I win?

Deal And if I win, you'll get me dakbal!

Deal Let's shake on it

Okay But don't look!

Fine, I wont

You get up from your armchair, head to the edge of the wall, and put your hand past the corner. After waiting for a few seconds, you don't feel anything, and moving your hand around a bit doesn’t yield any success either. Then it hits, that your partner is probably Korean and female, so she is likely much shorter than you. Carefully lowering your hand, it finally finds hers. The hand jolts a little at the first contact, but grabs your hand quickly after.

It feels delicate: Small and smooth with fingers you can only describe as elegant. It's not just their shape and how they feel in your comparably larger hands, but also the amount of rings decorating them. On top of that, you bet her manicure matches the lavishness. The handshake barely lasts a second or two, then you get back to your seats.

Okay I know exactly who you are

How?

You're a princess!

Won't lie I feel quite fancy right now

Knew it! Extremely generous of you to let me touch your hand Your Highness

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Do our 'dates' still stand, Princess? Can you set aside time from your schedule to meet a lowly peasant like myself?

Aahhh, well Princesses need to relax too And your proposition seems suitable So yes, we shall go on these 'dates'

You honour me Princess

Okay, okay that's enough But do you really know who I am?

I have some guesses You're def a female idol And I'm pretty sure we haven't met yet Which I can't say about too many people Do you have any guesses about me?

If you didn't lie about not being an idol Then I have a few But I don't know which one of them have met a lot of idols So I'm not sure at all

Well, I never lie Just keep thinking You might not eve know me But that's fine

Whit that last message sent, the screen on the table lights up once again

“Send your childhood picture to your partner”

*Oh, right. The picture. If she knows me, this will help her a lot.*

This should help you a bit

Aaaah, cute Wait Are you a foreigner? Here's mine

Maybe... Awww That's really cute too

The screen instructs you again: “Draw each other in one minute”

*One minute? Not like it matters. I can't draw for shit.*

The 60 seconds go by like a minute in Africa, and your masterpiece is done. Kind of.

Sorry, I tried my best.

It's good! Much better than mine, that's for sure

You look at the picture for a bit, and download it before the connection is severed and you're kicked from the chat room. That signals the end of this section, so now all that’s left is to stand up, and meet this ‘Judy’.

*Okay, who is it?*

You stop the music, take out your earphones, and wait for the director's signal. When it arrives, you slowly, but confidently walk towards your partner's part of the studio. Once past the corner, you dramatically turn a 90 degree angle, and find yourself face to face with an angel. Or maybe it's a fairy? Or a nymph? Whatever she may be, it is not exactly human.

Her flawless fair skin is glistening in the studio's brilliant light, creating a picturesque contrast with her silky dark hair. It's neatly styled in a typical way: behind her ears, running down on her back one side, and on the other, resting on her front, bumping over her modest breasts. Your gaze moves further down, checking out her fuzzy two part dress, coloured in white and blue.

*Yep, blue is her favourite colour.*

The top stops just high enough over her pencil skirt, so that you can make out the tiniest bit of her midriff. You follow along her smooth legs, all the way to her feet, then quickly look back up. Her eyes meet yours, but not before catching a slightly mischievous smile form on her glossy lips.

*I guess she figured out who I was*

This all goes down in a mere second. It does have some benefits to have your brain running at FTL speed. After finishing the survey, you take a theatrical bow.

- Princess Nana.

She cracks up. Her laugh is just as magical as her whole being. You have heard it a handful times before, but never in person.

And boy, does it hit like a baseball bat live. You have had countless groups come to your variety show, but you can only gather up a single other idol with such a delightful laugh (Miss Song Yuqi).

*Man, I could listen to both of them for the rest of my life.*

You straighten back up, and take a step closer, at the same time as Nana. Your assumption of her height during the handshake was correct: she barely reaches up to your chin, but it plays to her advantage; makes her look even more adorable.

Her smile never faded, and now that she is right in front of you, you can see a glint of happiness and recognition in the vast, dark ocean of her eyes.

- It's you!

- It sure is.

- I knew it the moment I saw your baby picture.

- Ah yes, that was a dead giveaway.

- But I thought of you beforehand too.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah! I watched every episode of your show, and you did seem like we had a lot in common. Our conversation proves that.

- Yes, and thank you. - Feeling her boundless energy, and seeing her cute, perky personality, you can't help but smile along with her. - I can't believe this is the first time we meet in person.

- Right? I guess our schedules never aligned. But I'm really happy to meet you!

- As am I. - you cross your hands suddenly - But you lied to me!

- Huh? When?

- You said you've never met Nana.

She scratches the back of her head with an embarrassed chuckle. - Oh, right. Well I could argue that it's not a lie in a literal sense.

- Hmmm. I'll let it slide this time. But I have to warn you, I don't invite liars onto my show.

She gasps in a fake shock, and bows as she apologises. - I promise not to lie anymore! Please invite us to your show!

You laugh at her playfulness. - How could I say no to a princess? I'll make sure to have an episode set aside for you during your next comeback.

- Yay, thank you!

Her cuteness is almost overwhelming. The way she looks at you with those doe eyes, like you are her favourite person on this planet (which in reverse, might be true at this point). Her radiant smile, that emits such precious laughter, the sound of is more wondrous than Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Or the way she seems to cling onto your every word, as if you were Jesus preaching on the Mount of Beatitudes, and how she parrots your thoughts, just coated in that honeyed voice.

The director cuts into the meeting, and asks Nana to give them an interview about your chat. Yours will follow after. When you're both done, they tell you to take a selfie for the show. You oblige, but ask Nana to take it. The height difference doesn't even seem to be a problem. Rather she turns it into an advantage, and snaps a few nice pics. As the shooting comes to an end, you thank each other and the crew for everything, and before Nana could disappear into her room, you call out for her.

- Sorry, I don't intend to hold you up for long, I'm sure you have better things to do.

- Oh no, it's fine. What do you want?

- I just thought we could exchange numbers. Not for my show, that'll be done through our managers, but for our bet. Not sure how serious you were about it, but either way, I wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner. And I still need to take you to that spot on your birthday.

- Absolutely! And I'm completely serious about the bet. I don't just shake hands for nothing. My schedule is going to be hectic in March, but I'm sure I will be able to create some free time.

- Oh, if it's bothersome, we can go later too. Or earlier. Whatever works for you. I can get busy myself, but I always ask the groups to clear their schedules for the day before and after, so we all have some room if anything comes up.

- That's smart. Maybe I'll live with the opportunity.

- You totally should. 

She hands you her phone, and you dial yours. She saves your contact as 'The Little Prince', while you save her as 'Princess Nana'.

- I guess that's all. Again, it was really nice to finally meet you. Hope to see you soon.

- You too! Can't wait for my free chicken feet!

You chuckle, and bow to say goodbye, which she politely returns. Before she could get out of sight, you decide to look behind your back to catch one final peek of this angel. She walks with such grace, but you can still see that playful attitude hidden beneath. Maybe it's the way she sways her hips. Or that cute little butt.

*I wonder if it's more like a soft pillow, or firm and fit from all the workout.*

You slap yourself softly, and turn your head back around.

*Idiot…*

Unbeknownst to you, just after you do this, Nana also looks above her shoulders, searching for you. She barely catches the last moment of your little act, but she knows. She knows, but she is doing the same, so she can't really judge you for it.

Your heart still pounds noticeably faster than usual after you've changed back into your comfy clothes. The little cramp in your stomach is not letting its presence be forgotten either.

*Fuckin’ hell. What am I, fourteen? *

You take a deep breath, drink a cup of water, and focus. Within a few minutes, your body finally listens to the brain, and settles down. You sigh in relief.

- That's better. … - But I need a drink.

You take your stuff, and head outside. On the street, you catch Nana one last time. You wave and smile at each other as her manager helps her get in their car. Yours is already waiting for you on the passenger side, tapping away on his phone, since you almost always drive yourself. You shove your things in the trunk, then hop into the driver seat.

- Took you long enough. - your manager blurts out without looking up.

- Yeah, sorry. Upset stomach.

He acknowledges your excuse with a grunt.

- Back to your place?

- Yeah. But I wanna stop at a convenience store for some alcohol.

- Huh? Was it that bad? You seemed to be having fun. - He finally looks up at you, with the smallest hint of concern on his face.

- Yeah, I may have enjoyed it a little too much.

- Hmm. I see. So that upset stomach?

He doesn't even need to say it, you both know what he means.

- Yerp. Fucking butterflies.

Again, he just scoffs. Your manager is the best you could ask for. Professionally. But as much as he helps you in your work, he helps as little with personal stuff. You know it's better that way. You're not paying him to be your therapist, but you would like him to lend you an ear from time to time.

- Whatever. I'll get drunk tonight, and lose some ranks in League with the boys.

- Hmm. Just don't get too drunk.

You fasten your seatbelt, start up the car, and zoom through the city to your first destination. You grab a few (more than a few) bottles of different flavoured soju, and some instant ramen. The cashier is a young dude, probably a uni student working part-time. He realises who you are, so you chat for a bit. When he finally scans your items, you pay by cash, and leave him a hefty bonus, which he thanks profusely. You get back in the car, and drive to your manager's place to drop him off. From there, it’s only a few-minute drive to home.

_______________________________________________________

You struggle with the lock long enough that you hear your dog making a fuss inside.

- One second bud. I’m an alcoholic.

As soon as you open the door, he starts jumping up and down in excitement.

- Hello, you little rascal! - you greet him in a high pitched voice. - Have you been a good boy? - A rhetorical question to which the answer is (almost) always yes. You scratch behind his ears, and give him a treat, which he gobbles up in the blink of an eye.

- You will never guess who I've met today. - You start as you take off your shoes, and walk towards the kitchen to put the purchased beverages into the fridge. - It was my future wife! - you announce, posing with the exaggerated swagger of a black teen.

Bingley tilts his head in confusion.

- Yeah, I know. I’m cringe. But! I haven't felt like this since high school. And that was a whiiiile ago.

You step into the living room and settle on the sofa. Bingley waits for the signal of invitation before he joins you, and licks your hand to ask for pats which you happily provide.

- Honestly, I don't know how I should go about it. We hit it off well, and she seemed interested too. I mean she agreed to meet two more times. Plus once for my show, but that's different… For the first one, I will take her to our favourite place.

As you mention that, your companion perks up.

- Oh, sorry. I think you're going to have to stay behind. I want it to be just her and me.

Bingley’s head falls on your lap in defeat with a sad whine.

- Don't worry, I will take you there next week.

You take out your phone, and send tonight's plan to your friends. To pass the time, you decide to put on that new (well it was new like 3 months ago) Netflix show you haven't started yet for whatever reason. That, along with some takeout, is engaging enough to keep your mind off of today's events, all the way 'til the alarm rings in reminder for the games.

You gulp down a whole bottle of soju during your first game, and the next ones follow quickly after. The alcohol kicks in right as you're queueing up for the third game of the night. Senses dulled, reflexes slowed, vision blurry. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Your teammates have been keeping up the pace with various types of spirits, turning every game from here on out into a clown fiesta. Muscle memory at least keeps them somewhat competitive, but no one really cares about winning. It's all about forgetting about the everyday struggles. The shitty bosses, the annoying exes, an unlucky puncture on the way to work, your baby puking on your favourite shirt, burnt food, the seemingly never ending house chores– falling head over heels for a girl you've only talked to for half an hour, of which only a few minutes were in person. Whatever. Everyone has their reasons. Meditating can only do so much. And it's nowhere near as fun as this.

The hours fly by, and it's regrettably time already to end the therapy session. Not all your pals have such flexible schedules as you, so they have to call it before midnight. Barely being able to walk straight, you conclude brushing your teeth and pouring a glass of water for tomorrow morning is more than enough exercise before bed.

Waking up is obviously the biggest disadvantage of these endeavours, but you take a pill with the prepared water, then a cup of coffee, and the headache is soon gone. You don't have the stomach for a proper breakfast, but you still force down a slice of toast. You let Bingley out, and sit on the porch, soaking in the morning sun, listening to the sound of nature, and enjoying the smell of the blooming tulips and violets in your garden. - Spring is fucking awesome…

_______________________________________________________

The next few weeks go by without much happening. The blind chat episode drops on YouTube, and surprisingly, dozens upon dozens of people comment, shipping the two of you. It’s endearing, really; a nice reassurance that what you felt during and after the show, was not exclusively in your head, as others seem to have noticed the connection and matching vibes (hopefully not just the parasocial delulu fans, who name themselves after funny videos, and would go on to write fanfictions about it).

You exchange a few texts with Nana during these days, but she seems busier than expected. It could be because of an upcoming comeback, but they came back with Rollercoaster only a few months ago. So you try not to give it too much meaning, but in the back of your head, a devilish voice insists “she doesn’t like you bro”. Your worries are lifted when they announce ‘Queendom Puzzle’, and all its participants in the following days. Hey! I see you’ll be on Queendom Puzzle, congrats! I’m sure you will crush it! Hiya! Thanks I hope so I have been practicing a lot for this

Yeah, I figured The competition seems strong But I would bet on you making it into the group I’m a bit worried But your confidence in me means a lot😊 An ace like you should have nothing to fear! You’re right 😸 If the crowd sees the effort I have been putting into my craft They will have to vote for me …right?

Of course! You were meant to be on top

*of me, hehe*

Yeah! I’m gonna be a star! That’s the spirit A few seconds go by with Nana seemingly typing out an essay. I wanted to ask you for something

Your pulse quickens, and you sit up straight on your couch. With dilated eyes, and gently shaking fingers, you type back. I’m all ears

I hope it’s not too much of a bother But could you take me to that place you talked about?

Of course! That was always the plan, no?

Yeah but I mean like This weekend

You have to check your schedule to make sure you’re free, not that cancelling every plan and recording would be a tall order, or a big price to pay to spend time with her. Sure, I can make it Great! I just know I won’t have much time until Queendom ends And if I do end up on the team It will take even longer before I can take a break

There is no ‘if’! But I get your point Both days work for me, so you choose I checked the weather, and Saturday will be warmer So we could watch the sunset too if you wanna

*How the fuck would I not?* Sounds perfect

Nice How about we meet up at 4? You could show me around the place And we could have a picnic

Even more perfect I’ll be there Great And thank you 😊

My pleasure

The chat dies off, but it doesn’t bother you. The high of finally meeting Nana lingers for the rest of the night, giving you one of the best sleeps since you moved to Korea.

_______________________________________________________

As the planned outing approaches, you remember something from your first encounter: her birthday is in spring. Even after remembering it was in March, you still decide to get her something. Surfing the internet for half an hour, you find a few decent ideas, but none of them strike you as THE perfect gift.

*Maybe I should read about her, see what she likes.*

As you press search, the first few results are about another celebrity, who shares her stage name: Im Jinah.

You quickly add ‘wooah’ to the query to get the desired outcome. Reading through her wiki, an uneasy feeling slowly creeps up on you.

- Well, this is just weird. I feel like I'm stalking her.

Even though you have done this for every idol who has appeared on your show, it's just not the same. You're not gathering information to create the best possible games and scenarios for entertainment, but to wow her. With that thought, you close the tab, and start to think.

- Okay, let's just not. I can work with what I know already. She likes Nintendo games, the colour blue, animation, and spring. And dakbal! She most likely has a Switch already, and there is no way of knowing what games she has or wants without snooping around. I could take a gamble with the animation, and get her a plushie, a shirt, or something of Doraemon. He's blue too, so that's nice. But that is lacking in the ‘personal’ department. So spring, huh? What can I do with that?

You spend the whole day deciding on what to buy, and instead of one big present, you end up with a few smaller ones. You pick all of them up in the coming days, and get the groceries for the picnic on the day before.

The 'date' is set two days after the recording with Cravity, who made their comeback with Groovy last week. You feared that the upcoming meeting with Nana might get in your head, and ruin the show's quality, but it all worked out perfectly. You spend most of the following day going on a big hike with Bingley, and continuing the Netflix show you started. After that it’s time for bed, as tomorrow's going to be busy. The trek tired you out, yet sleep doesn’t come easily. You lay awake until it actually gets annoying, and opt for a sleeping pill. The drug does its magic, and you wander off to dreamland in no time.

_______________________________________________________

The alarm rings at 7 AM sharp, and you blindly search for the phone to shut it up.

- Mmmm… Just five more minutes…

But as soon as you pull the blanket over your head to block the rising sun, the reason for the alarm registers. Your eyes pop open, and the drowsiness is gone in an instant. After hurriedly finishing the usual morning routine, including your obligations to Bingley, it’s time to go through the checklist for today's tasks.

First on the agenda is preparing the food, 'cause if you mess it up, you will have time to try again. Thankfully, apart from a wasted egg, some spilled milk, and a fierce battle with the sizzling oil, everything goes fine. Second is wrapping the gifts. Usually a bag would do, but not today. Not for Nana. Or rather, Princess Nana. You waste a lot of time and wrapping paper figuring out what's the best way to go about it, but the end result is more than acceptable. Third is packing up - food in the basket, gifts hidden in a bag, and a blanket to sit on. Next up is lunch. You don't have neither the time nor the willingness to cook more right now, so some takeout will have to do. Then it’s time to take out the dog. For a walk, Jimmy... That's number five, check. The last thing to be done is texting Nana the rendezvous point, which you do while you eat the ordered pizza.

Although you'll only have to leave in an hour, you decide to dress up now in today's carefully picked outfit: a floral linen shirt, dark blue shorts, and a few accessories. Nothing too fancy. A few (hundred) TikToks help pass the remaining time, before you pack everything in the trunk of the KIA. After making sure for the third time that everything is in order, you lock the house and get in the car. The V6 engine of the K8 eagerly purrs to life, as if it felt and shared your anticipation for today’s events. You type the destination into the GPS - not that it was needed; you have been there countably infinite times already, and could drive there with a blindfold on. But as they say: better safe than sorry.

Some music and sunshine keeps you company during the fortunately eventless half hour drive. Once you arrive and park in the shade of a huge oak tree, a notification pops up from Nana: “I'll be there in a few!” Not even 5 minutes later, another KIA pulls into the parking lot. The passenger-side door swings open, and the angel you have been waiting for steps out with the same gorgeous smile on her face she last said goodbye with.

You take a few steps closer, and bow. - Hello! I hope it wasn't too hard to find the place.

- Oh, not at all. - She bows, and says hello too, then looks around to admire the greenery, and the sunshine seeping through the leaves, illuminating everything in sight. It arguably does a worse job than her smile, but the Sun does give you that vitamin D, whereas Nana only gives your D vitamin. And your soul with the cute outfit she is sporting: it’s a red, floral patterned sleeveless top tucked into a tight blue skirt with a very similar motif. As the colour scheme would suggest, it’s downright magnetic. You find yourself unable to look away from her, until a light breeze, paired with the rattling of leaves knocks you out of your daze. When you look up and lock eyes with Nana, you notice her cheeks have copied the colour of her shirt. *I may have stared for too long. *

- Almost didn’t notice you there with the camouflage. - you jest, trying to play it off.

Nana giggles, and spins around to give you a full view. In any other circumstance, your eyes would have probably shifted downwards, but her hair steals away your attention, dancing in the air graciously like she does on stage.

- Looks cute, doesn’t it? - I think we all know what he thinks about it. - her manager speaks up from behind. She hands Nana a bag, most likely filled with food for the picnic. Before turning away, she gives you a stern look. - Call me when you are done, Nana, and I’ll come back for you as discussed.

She drives off, leaving the two of you alone in a serene, only slightly awkward silence. You grab your stuff from the car, and lead Nana up the path, towards the field. On the short walk there, she keeps looking around in awe, amazed by the scenery. Gotta give it to her, it looks like it was taken from a painting. Birds singing from the blooming trees, butterflies chasing one-another above the lazily swaying, lush grass, and bees hauling their fat fluffy butts from flower to flower.

- It’s perfect! - she squeals with joy as she bends down to touch the silky grass.

- I knew you would like it.

- I love it!

You walk past Nana, who seems completely mesmerized by the clearing, and a pair of Barn Swallows, as they scurry across the sky, most likely hunting for food. She smiles at them, then catches up with you and helps with the picnic blanket, for which you have already found the perfect spot. It’s on a slightly more elevated piece of ground, from where you can see above the city, and across the green sea. While you unpack, Nana goes on about how glad she is to be out here in the sun, with you, how pretty the place is, and how excited she is for Queendom Puzzle.

- It’s an interesting changeup, isn’t it? - she asks with sparkling eyes.

- For sure! Definitely interesting for the fans, and even more so for the contestants.

- I know! I can’t wait to meet all of them. I haven’t even talked to some of them before.

- Well, you could call them now, because we might have overdone it with the food.

You share a laugh, then take a look at the feast you two whipped up. Even without plating the desserts, it’s still enough for at least one other pair of lovebirds. Your schnitzel sandwiches look ‘rustic’ at best next to Nana’s three different types of home-made kimbaps, but you wanted to bring something that you would bring at home too. 

- The one with the omelette strips has a pinch of honey in it. I thought it would be your style. - she explains with a never fading smile.

You take a slice, and push the whole thing into your mouth. Sure enough, she hit it right on the nail. The basic, but undefeated blend of omelette, avocado and tuna is freshened up by the pickled radish, and brought together by the subtle, yet lingering sweetness of the honey. You let out a satisfied hum, and swallow before praising her.

- You are right on the money with this one. It’s phenomenal!

She giggles triumphantly, and takes a roll too.

- Mmmmh, it’s so good! I never thought about adding honey to a kimbap before. But when I was getting the ingredients, I thought about you, and the bees, and I knew I had to do it.

- It’s for sure the best kimbap I have eaten so far. Good job! - you raise your hand for a high-five, which she happily accepts.

- Thanks! Now, let’s see what you cooked up.

- Well, I know it doesn’t look as fancy as yours, but I promise it tastes great. - you hand her a sandwich, and take one for yourself too. - It’s kind of a timeless classic in my country. Whenever we go to a beach, on a road trip, or a hike, it’s the go-to snack. It’s just fried chicken breast, some veggies, and your choice of sauce in a bun, but that’s the point. It’s simple, but effective. You can never go wrong with these ingredients, and it never disappoints.

She takes a bite, after you downplayed and hyped up the sandwich at the same time. She munches on it for a few seconds, nodding understandingly.

- I see what you mean. It’s just really nice. I could see how it would be sort of a comfort food.

- Right? - you light up from her words of appreciation, and take a bite of home. - I don’t think I could ever get tired of this.

An endearing smile paints Nana’s face, which you don’t even notice at first, too caught up in the nostalgic dish.

Being the first proper one-on-one talk between you two, the conversation starts off with the usual topics: work, hobbies, friends, family, pets, etc. Still, with how engaged and honestly curious she is, it doesn’t feel like the typical, going-through-the-motions, getting-the-mandatory-stuff-out-of-the-way kind of chat. And unsurprisingly, her enthusiasm rubs off on you. You find yourself nodding or laughing along with all her stories, aww-ing at pictures from her childhood or of her family dog, and taking mental notes of every little titbit she shares about her life. It’s all so easy, so natural. Sure, you are still cracking some jokes, but it’s not the same as if you were in front of the cameras. There is no preparation, no script, just chemistry. When you reach into your basket for a second bottle of soda, you grab onto something else by accident. It’s one of Nana’s presents. You have completely forgotten about it, too engaged in the chatter. You take the two small boxes out, and hide them behind your back while your partner is pouring herself a drink.

- Nana?

- Hmm? - she doesn’t look up just yet, preoccupied with choosing the next kimbap to devour.

- I know your birthday was like- two months ago.

- Yeah? - now she lifts her gaze, and notices the jewellery box in your hand, coated in deep blue velvet. - Oh, Y/N! - her voice is laced with surprise and appreciation, which also reflects on her face. - You really didn’t have to.

- Of course I did!

- Now I feel bad, because I didn’t bring you anything. - she pouts, but her frown is immediately turned upside down when she flips the top open. - Wait, is this..?

She holds onto the medallion with one hand, letting the golden chain dangle freely in the warm wind.

- Yeah. A Triforce necklace.

- It’s so pretty! Quick, help me put this on.

Nana turns around and sits closer to you, so you can secure the clasp on the back of her neck. She stays like that, admiring the metallic trinket, until she leans back against you. Your mind freezes for a second, but your body reacts to her, and your arms wrap around her waist.

- Thank you…

Her words jump-start your mind, and you squeeze her tighter.

- Don’t thank me just yet. - you untangle one arm, and reach backwards for another smaller container, neatly wrapped in pink paper. She handles it with care after feeling the weight of it.

- Another one?

She rips off the wrapping, and gasps when she recognises the baby pink coloured box.

- You know, I almost bought this when I last went shopping.

She removes the plastic, then takes out the rose-scented perfume to try it out. She sighs in satisfaction when the smell envelopes the air around you, dulling out the flowers nearby.

- Mmmm~ This bottle won’t last long, I can tell you that much!

Your chuckle is cut short by her lips on your cheeks, a smile, and her nuzzling into your embrace again.

- Thank you Y/N~

- You are very much welcome Nana.

She stays in your arms, letting the minutes pass by, until the dryness in your throat becomes annoying, and you have to let go of her for a drink. She gives you a playful pout before standing up to stretch, as you have been sitting on the ground for quite some time now. That’s when a familiar, raspy voice calls out to you from close by.

- Y/N? I thought you would come here today. And with a girl, to boot! You turn around with a curious look, and stand up to greet the elderly woman and her husband.

- Of course I’m here! Would have been a crime to stay inside in this weather.

- Ain’t that the truth. - the man concurs with a subtle nod, then turns to Nana. - And who is this pretty lass you brought along? Won’t you introduce your girlfriend to us? - Oh, we’re not… - you try to deny in such a hurry, that even catches Nana off guard. You look at her in hopes of reassuring her, and her beaming smile greets you, though you notice there is something sombre about it compared to usual. - We are just… colleagues, kind of. It’s only the second time we’ve met.

The pair looks at each other with a suspicious, knowing look. You can almost hear a whole conversation play out between their gazes. It’s just one of those things that come with years, or in their case, decades of love and partnership.

- I see. - the woman says without much conviction once she looks back at you. - So it’s not a date? We heard you two laughing from a mile away. Her question throws you for a loop, and while you try to figure out how to word it so you don’t possibly hurt Nana more, she answers before you could come up with the proper phrasing.

- No, it is a date. - she states with unshaken confidence, which pleases the couple. - I’m Nana by the way.

They bow with a sincere smile, and introduce themselves as Mr and Mrs Kim.

- I see you weren’t dropped on your head, missy! - the man titters.

You want to look back at Nana, but she is already by your side, hooking her arm into yours and pressing herself closer. At first, it feels a bit strange to call it that, but it only makes sense when you give it another thought. It’s just a word that you have given too much meaning over the lonely years, and it messes with your head.

- I’m sure he wasn’t either. - she jokes, and bumps your side.

- You will soon learn of that, sweetheart. - the lady pipes up. - He is as sweet as honey, but denser than concrete at times.

They all laugh at that, and you join in after letting go of your now seemingly dumb worries.

- All right, young'uns. We will leave you to it. Gotta get back home before my back gives in.

- Just a second, Mr Kim. - you speak up, and excuse yourself from Nana. You take a few pieces of the layered cake, and stack them in a box. - Please take this. I baked it, but it’s not poisonous. I think.

The couple smiles warmly at you, and takes the box.

- See? Sweet as honey. - The madam echoes her own words with a sly wink aimed at your date.

After that, Nana gifts them some kimbap too, which they thank profusely, then go on their way.

- Oh my god, they were so nice! - Nana asserts as she sits back down.

- They are, yes. I meet them every time I’m here. They visit this place almost every day in the warmer seasons.

…

- So it’s a date, huh? 

- Of course. What else would you call an afternoon like this? A one-on-one picnic in one of the most magical places in this city, with someone you like and want to get to know better. Wouldn’t be fair to label it as ‘hanging out’, or something simple like that.

- True…

This time it’s you, who smiles first, but you are not alone for long. Your hand reaches out for hers as you scoot closer on the soft blanket, and she readily accepts the contact, placing her palm on top of yours. It’s not the ‘electric touch that sends a jolt of shiver down your spine’, it’s just what it is: a touch. Warm and slick, but at the end of the day, nothing out of the ordinary. It’s the circumstances, and the owner of the other hand, that’s really special about it. The half-spoken admission of your feelings, a silent promise of more to come, and the most wonderful girl on this planet you share these with. The silence remains even while you eat the muffins, bar Nana’s compliment for the chocolatey sweetness, and the birds singing in the background. You imagine they are watching this romantic scene unfold in front of them, witnessing love blossom on the field they call home. The little angel stays in your arms, although she feels more like a kitty right now as her warm and petite body lays against you soothingly. You can feel her breathing as her chest rises and falls in a slow rhythm, and you realize your pulse is matching hers when you hold her hand tighter.

It’s probably a super corny display from the outside, when the Sun starts to near its resting place, painting the skies in the colour of the flowers in the surrounding field. And if not for a certain girl in your arms, it would have been the prettiest sight of the day. The other thing that the sunset loses in, is the warmth. The temperature drops surprisingly quickly on this cloudless night, and no matter how hot the woman is beside you (in all senses of the word), the chilling winds become a bit too harsh to ignore. So you pack up, dividing the leftovers equally while Nana speaks with her manager on the phone. Hand-in-hand, you walk back the path towards the parking place with Nana lighting the way with her phone. Her manager said she will arrive in 10 minutes, so you sit in the K8 to stay warm until that. Nana sits in the passenger seat, and sees something in the backseat that catches her eye.

- Aww! What a cute flower.

- Oh, right! - you reach back for the pot. - It’s your last gift.

- Another one? For real? - she takes it from you, and admires the flowerless green plant.

- Of course! It’s a Clitoria Ternatea, aka Butterfly Pea. It will bloom with gorgeous little blue flowers in the summer, and as the name suggests, you can even make tea out of it.

She looks at you with a playful squint and a smirk, the somewhat lewd Latin name of the flower not escaping her attention. You laugh it off, and she leans in for a hug to thank you. It lingers for long seconds, until she gets a text from her manager, stating she is almost there. You both sigh. It’s a mixture of sadness and contentment. It was probably the best afternoon either of you have spent in a long time, and now that it’s come to an end…

That’s not even the worst part. It’s the fact that there is no way of knowing when there will be a chance to do this again. But if all goes well for Nana in Queendom Puzzle, it’s most likely months. She places her hand on top of yours, and looks you in the eye.

- Thank you for this day, Y/N. You can’t even fathom how much it all meant to me. And I don’t just mean the gifts, and the picnic. I’m talking about spending time with you, laughing, talking, hugging… And I really want to do it more. To get to know you better, and see where this goes.

- I would love that. - you clutch onto her hand, and give it a small squeeze -  Because I think–  I think this connection is something very special.

- I think so too.

Her grip on your hand tightens, and she moves her body closer. It’s barely noticeable, but you see it. You see it, because you are doing the same. You see her lips parting, her eyes nervously glancing at yours, and it makes your heart pound out of your chest. And though Nana may seem timid from the outside, she pushes forward with zero hesitation. Unrelenting, unwavering. She wants this badly, and so do you. So even when her manager pulls up, you don’t pull away. The headlights of her car shine right at you when your lips meet. And oh, what delicious, soft lips they are. It makes you forget to breathe, and doubles your heart rate, like a dose of a new designer drug that gets you addicted the moment you use it.

Neither of you break the kiss, and when you shift in your seat so your spine doesn’t twist out of its place and move away from her slightly, she chases after you. She even reaches for your shirt with her free hand, so you don’t pull away again until she has had her fill. It doesn’t take too long, because the uninvited audience does start to make Nana somewhat self conscious now. When your lips separate, you let out the air you have been holding in for these past twenty-something seconds. It’s hard to tell whether it’s this, or the power of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded, but one thing is for sure: you have fallen deeper than you thought, and so has Nana. She chuckles when she notices your reddened ears, breaking the tension.

- That was… - you start, but find it hard to say the right words. - Surreal but, um… but nice.

- Yeah. It was.

She gives one last gorgeous smile, and a sorrowed but reassuring goodbye before she leaves you on your own. The kiss replays in your mind repeatedly, and it makes you ache for more: more kisses, but also more than just kisses.

- “Surreal but nice”? What was I thinking?

_______________________________________________________ The following few weeks after the start of Queendom Puzzle are just as sweet as that goodbye kiss. The late night chats with Nana, her random selfies from practice, during meals, or after recording, and occasional video calls. Naturally, you text her after every episode, praising her performance. She responds in kind, applauding your MC skills, and rambling about her experiences with the other participants. The relationship stays this vibrant and strong for a while, and the energy you get from it shows in your variety show, propelling its popularity into new heights. Which, sadly, means more interviews, ads, and what have you. All of that, paired with Nana having to practice more for the final few episodes, meant a little less time spent talking every day. It never dried out at least, but you wished you could actually see each other in person at times, and hoped she felt the same.

Then it finally arrives. It’s the 15th of August, and the airing of the final episode of “Queendom Puzzle”. Nana (obviously) made it into the last 14 with flying colours, raking up MVPs, and a solid spot in the rankings. Still, there was a chance, however slim, that she could falter at the last hurdle. You knew she wasn’t the type to fall into a false sense of safety, but it still felt appropriate to give her the extra motivation she might have needed. So you asked her manager in secret for the place and time of the shooting. Without much reluctance, she hooked you up, but advised caution.

Getting past the security was a bit tricky, but still possible. With an iced americano in one hand, and a box of spicy chicken feet in the other, you make your way through the maze of corridors, full of purpose. Room 8 was your goal, and, as Murphy's law dictates, it was at the very back of the corridor. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that actually does, is to meet Nana, and put a smile on her face. That ever radiant, healing smile. One can never get enough of it. To make sure that the surprise works, you arrive a solid 20 minutes before she does, so it’s time to catch up with the latest gossip. Nana’s manager - now also your wingwoman - texts you as they get past security. Your heart skips a beat, and you jump from the chair you have been sitting on ‘til now. After quickly hiding her presents, you fix your attire, and wait patiently. At least that’s what you hope it looks like, but even a blind man could tell how eager you are. Your quickening pulse, fidgeting fingers, and deep, long breaths are a dead giveaway of your true feelings.

You can hear as Nana nears the room, her voice echoing down the hallway as she practices her lines for the show. The door handle pivots, and the awaited angel finally steps into the room. She stops dead in her tracks the moment she sees you. Her eyes widen, and her jaw hangs agape for a moment, but then… The change in her expression is like a slow motion study for AI training: her slightly open mouth shifts into a wide smile, showing off her pearly whites. Her eyes sparkle with an adoring glint, as if she just saw the cutest thing in the world. And, as usual of her when she gets this excited, she pushes her tongue out slightly, and bites down on it gently.

- Hello, princess. - you greet her with a bow. Nana loses it right then, and rushes up to you with a loud squeal. You plant a little kiss on her cheek, and hug her close. Or at least try to, but she starts to jump up and down giddily, making it hard to properly hold onto her. Before she pulls away, she returns the kiss. Holding hands, you stand there, mere inches separating you, just staring at each other for a few seconds. Your adoration reflects in her brown eyes, glistening like morning dew on the petals of a Chocolate Cosmos. The laughs and shouting of some other contestants from down the hallway kick you both out of your trance.

- Oh, right! - you spin around, and grab the iced americano. - I got you this.

Her eyes light up instantly.

- Oh my god! You are a lifesaver!

She pounces on you like a panther, and snatches the cold beverage before you could say ‘meow’. You watch with an adoring, cheeky smile as she swallows gulp after gulp, a bit of coffee even missing its mark, dripping down on her chin in the big hurry.

- Whew… I needed that. Would you believe that my manager - she points theatrically at the woman - forgot to buy me coffee? Today of all days?! - Uh… That’s on me. - you admit, scratching your head with unease. - I kind of asked her to… Nana crosses her arm, and squints at you suspiciously. She walks up to you with playfully angry stomps, which end up making her look adorable, rather than threatening, like a kid who didn’t get the toy they wanted.

- You don’t mess with a girl’s coffee! - she lashes out, reinforcing her point by tapping your chest with her index finger. Her faux outrage melts away after she sees how taken aback you are. She smiles at you sweetly then, and kisses your embarrassedly flushed cheek. - No need to plan stuff like this so you can swoop in like a saviour. - she stops mid-thought to take another sip. - I already like you, dummy.

You hear a scoff from her manager, and catch her rolling her eyes. You just smirk to yourself, knowing how cheesy it must seem from her POV.

- Sorry Nana! - you turn your back to her, snap up the bag with the dakbal, and offer it to her. A due prise for her winning the bet from the video, but it's also for motivation. - I hope this makes up for it somewhat.

With one eyebrow raised, she nabs the chicken feet tentatively. Or rather the box of chicken feet. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box of chicken feet. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box of chicken feet inside a bag. Regardless, her face lights up for the third time today the moment she takes a whiff of her favourite delicacy. And that’s the point of it all. Not just seeing that contagious smile, but also the knowledge that you made her day just a little better. The way she dashes to you again, screeching joyfully as if she just won the lottery, and hugs you so tight that she squeezes the air out of your lungs, tells you that it may have made it more than just a little better.

- You are already forgiven!

She breaks away in a hurry, scattering to the chair to indulge in her precious dakbal. She hums in satisfaction as the flavours fill her mouth, which elicits an even wider grin from you. From the corner of your eyes you catch as Nana’s manager nods approvingly. Still, she has to be the responsible one when you are together: - Just don’t eat too much. You still have to perform.

- Mhm! - Nana acknowledges half-heartedly, gorging down on one chicken foot after the other. Her manager shakes her head disapprovingly, but can’t hold back a low chuckle.

- Whew… That should give me enough energy for a while. - she wipes her hand and mouth, and thanks you again with a kiss on your cheek. - Gotta go now though. Need to change and get my makeup done. Will you watch from here? - she asks with a hopeful tone.

- Of course! Will be cheering for you from here all the way ‘til the end. And I will keep your manager company too. Whether she likes it or not. - you add with a wink aimed at said lady.

- Could be worse, I guess… - she shoots back with a barely visible smirk.

Nana gives her manager a hug too, and they exchange a few words in secret. 

- Good luck, princess. Not that you need it.

The idol hugs you one last time, grabs her coffee, and waves the two of you goodbye before sauntering out the room.

- She is gonna kill it. - you break the few seconds of silence - You can just tell.

- Yeah. Especially with you here now. - the manager concurs, and nudges you in the side.

You watch the show with her, laughing, cheering, or crying along. After every performance is concluded, they invite the girls back on stage; it’s time to reveal the winners. Taeyeon calls them out from third place to sixth, and Nana is not amongst them. Of course, she was second during the previous vote, so it doesn’t phase you. Too much. Then the anxiety starts to eat at you when Hwiseo takes first place. Still, not too surprising, considering she finished there during the last episode as well.

Then finally, she is announced as the sixth member to join EL7Z UP, placing second overall in the votes. By that time you chew down every single nail on your fingers despite being sure she would make it. The other idols still on stage gather around her, cheering her on while also calming her down. When she takes the mic, it seems like she isn’t even crying anymore, but as soon as she tries to speak, her voice cracks in the cutest way possible, and it’s followed by an even cuter whimper. She gives her speech with a trembling voice, thanking everyone she can think of, and finally joins the other 5 girls on the pedestal. Her rightful place. You sob during it all, chuckling shakily during her most adorable moments. Even Nana’s cool calm and collected manager wipes a tear from her eyes. - Never once doubted her. - you break the melancholically cheerful silence - But damn it feels good to see her win.

- No kidding…

After Yeeun is revealed as the final winner, and EL7Z UP’s line-up is complete, they celebrate on stage for a while. You chat with the manager about the ups and downs of the show, weighing in about the winners, the performances, and how amazing Taeyeon is. After a good half an hour, Nana finally returns, jumping into your arms. She lets out her remaining tension, soaking your shirt with her tears. You caress her back lovingly, whispering sweet little nothings to soothe her. The clock ticks by relentlessly, and Nana has to go again. She lets go of you with a long sigh, and wipes her face with a handkerchief her manager hands her. - I wish I could stay for longer. But I have to change, fix my makeup, talk to the girls– - It’s fine, princess. - you cut in - I will see you later, yeah? - Yes! How about this Friday? - she perks up - I know it’s soon, but I won’t have much free time before our debut. And I want to show you my favourite place before it starts to get cold. - Sure. I will make time for you. Whatever it takes. - you agree without hesitation. - Great! - she plants a quick kiss on your cheek, and skips out of the room.

You breathe out slowly. It’s finally over. Well, kind of. The stress of the survival show may be gone, but now comes the debut. The stakes might not be as high, but Nana will surely give her best, meaning you really won’t see her for the next few months. Again.

Why did I have to fall for an idol? - you ask yourself, but realise it’s no use to dwell on it. Such a fantastic girl is more than worth waiting for. It’s not like you are not busy yourself, and she won’t be active all year long. Still, it feels like the whole industry is against you, hell-bent on preventing this relationship. And it’s not completely false. Her agency would most likely not allow for it: Nana was already their best asset, and now she became even more valuable. Who cares? As long as her manager is chill with it - which she most definitely is now - and you two are careful, it should be fine. Should be. Has to be.

_______________________________________________________

Her sanctuary, as she calls it, is a smaller penthouse on the outskirts of Seoul. It’s a simple, cosy flat that feels perfect to come home to after a long day of work. It has everything you need, nothing less, nothing more. one bedroom with  a queen size bed, a decently equipped kitchen, a bathroom with a freestanding tub, and a cutesy living room. It’s just far away from the centre, so that the noises of the city can be faintly heard from inside, and just barely more from the balcony. And what a balcony it is. It’s the part that really screams ‘Nana’. Full of flowers and greenery, two blue lounge chairs with a glass table between them, and on it, a sight that melts your heart: the butterfly peas you bought her for her birthday. - Did you try making tea out of it? - you ask as you trace your fingers along the vibrant blue petals.

- No, not yet. I have barely been here since Queendom Puzzle started. I did have someone to water the plants though! They even cared for the plastic ones. - she adds with a melodic giggle.

- Wanna try now?

- Sure! Although… I would hate to pluck it when it’s still so beautiful…

Nana admires the plant with a sombre look before you speak up.

- Well, they are about to lose the flowers soon anyways. The days are getting colder and shorter.

She lets out a long sigh before agreeing to it. She takes a handful of pictures before you pluck the flower heads ever so carefully and rinse them. While you boil the water, the 1 girl grabs 2 cups and a jar of honey to prepare them. You wait 5-10 minutes until the hot water brings out the flavours and colours of the petals, then you indulge yourselves in the heart-warming delicacy.

- Mmmmh~ That’s nice. - Nana remarks as she slowly sips on the blue tea.

- Tastes like spring, doesn’t it?

Nana quickly nods in agreement.

- Now watch this. - you grab a wedge of lemon, and squeeze some of its juices into your cup. The liquid changes its deep blue hue to a glamorous purple within seconds as the acidic drops dissolve.

- Wow… That’s gorgeous! But I like mine blue.

- I’m not surprised.

Compared to the first date, this feels even less tense. No preparations, no stakes, no nerves. Nana and you are already more than close friends, so there is no need to win her over. Now it’s really all about enjoying each other’s company and talking about anything and everything. She tells all about her pre-debut activities, her school years, and the shenanigans she got up to as a child. You in turn recount anecdotes from the same times of your life, sprinkled in with the first few months after coming to Korea, and starting your own variety show as a foreigner. The tea is followed by a few bottles of soju, along with some takeout. “Some”. It’s kind of a feast (again), but it all disappears eventually as the conversation goes on and on, delving more into your past adventures, your present passions, and your hopes and dreams for the future. The alcohol does its work in the meanwhile, smoothing out the already relaxed nerves even more, and colouring Nana’s porcelain skin in that Asian flush, giving her an ethereal look as the Sun starts to dip below the horizon. Your hand finds hers, and the two of you sit in a tranquil silence, watching the sky and clouds dance in the colours of the setting star.

- You know… - Nana cuts into the quiet, giving you a warm, pensive look. - One can love the sunset, when one is happy, too.

It takes you a few seconds before it clicks, then your face lights up with a tender smile.

- You remembered?

- Of course! I haven’t found time yet to read it, but I will.

- Because of that one line? - No. Because it’s important to you. Such a simple statement, yet so powerful. If anyone ever wondered how someone can confess their feelings without saying it outright, they would have found it right here. Just as the last rays of sunlight dim, you bring her hand to your lips, and plant a compassionate kiss on the back of her palm. After that, looking into her eyes, you both understand the depth and strength of this connection within a moment’s notice.

- And you are so much more important, princess.

The equally corny and touching response earns you Nana’s signature smile, though it seems different from the usual: more sincere and less practiced. Something that merely a couple people have seen if you had to guess. And as many times before, your heart turns into mush, a sweet concoction of affection and adoration, with a pinch of lust.

While the night claims its domain, coating the skies above in pitch black, you clean up the remains of the feast, and grab two blankets. You stay out stargazing for a long while, searching for constellations, and admiring the waning Moon before you move back inside the apartment. Just as Nana is about to dive into her next story, a long yawn interrupts her. It’s not that late yet, but the day was long. For her the whole summer was long.

- I guess it’s time I head home. You should rest while you can. - No! - she objects instantly, then sinks into the couch with a sheepish smile. - Would you stay for the night? Please? You chuckle faintly, and sit down right next to her.

- If that’s what the princess wants…

She leans her head on your shoulder with a tired giggle. Your hand reaches around her, rubbing her side ever so slowly. The little incubus at the back of your head is screaming to lunge at her, but you kill the voice, knowing it’s not the time. Not yet. Maybe you won’t see her until her promotions end, but if you cross this bridge now, it might be even harder on the both of you, having to go without intimacy for months after a most likely wonderful night together. So you bide your time. It will be worth it in the end, even if holding back at the moment feels awful.

While Nana takes a shower and washes her face, you drive home for your pyjamas and a toothbrush. Once you are back, she is already lying on the bed, mindlessly scrolling on her phone. She flashes you a weak smile, though you barely catch it, as the view of her bare legs distract you. You grit your teeth, and head to the bathroom to change and wash up, cursing your luck. It should have been obvious that she would be wearing shorts to bed in the summer, but your mind was elsewhere when you agreed to sleep over.

You step back into the room, and join Nana under the covers. You decide it’s best not to poke the bear in your boxers, and stay on your side of the bed, but Nana has other plans. “She needs cuddles” - she says. “It helps her sleep better, and she missed it so bad.” - she explains. You can’t say no to her pouting lips and puppy eyes, but what comes after is the true challenge. She nestles into you, not leaving any space between your bodies, not even in the most intimate places. Her round and firm backside assumes its position against your pelvis, pressing into you as if she didn’t know it was one of the most seductive things a girl could do in this situation. You have to call upon every god in the sky, on Olympus, in Asgard, on Mount Meru, and in Takamagahara, to help you out in this seemingly unwinnable battle. Their combined might is indeed enough to suppress your desires, and you relax with her, hugging her close like a plushie. - Good night princess. - your voice is groggy as you place a kiss on the back of her head. - Good night Little Prince. - she is already fading away into sleep, but she holds onto your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours before she drifts off. You follow suit, her soft whimpers lulling you to rest in no time.

_______________________________________________________

One of the drawbacks of living on the top floor, is that the Sun disturbs the idyllic early mornings, totally unasked for. With eyes wide shut, you turn away from the celestial intruder, meeting face to back with an angel. Instead of wings, her chestnut locks spread out on the mattress before you. It obviously wouldn’t be courteous to wake her, but it’s also a crime not to cosy up to a sleeping beauty in a moment like this. So you scoot closer, and ever so cautiously wrap an arm around her petite body. If it wasn’t for the deities who helped you yesterday, you would be in an awkward situation again, but your little buddy decided not to give Nana a rude awakening.

- Hmmm~ I could get used to waking like this. - she mumbles as she finally wakes, and wiggles deeper into your embrace, snuggling up to your warmth like a cat.

- And I could get used to sleeping like this.

She lets out an amused sigh, and starts to run her fingers along your forearm, carefully scraping it with her nails.

- Too bad we can’t stay here all day, huh?

- Yeah… too bad. Maybe if you weren’t such a great performer, you wouldn’t have made it into EL7Z UP, and you wouldn’t have to go to practice and meetings today. - you tease her.

- Maybe… But sorry, I am not throwing that away for you.

- I would rather have you throw me out if I actually asked something so ridiculous of you.

- Good. Now shut up and kiss me! - she demands out of nowhere, and flips around in a flash.

You don’t even have time to protest - as if you wanted to - before her lips press hungrily against yours. Your stale morning breaths take nothing away from the enjoyment and the beauty of the act. The chirps of birds and the early commotion of the waking city fade into the distance, replaced by Nana’s barely audible moans, your heavy breaths, and the smacks of your lips. The make-out is just as sweet as it is urgent, but you refrain from using your tongues for the sake of keeping it PG - you know you wouldn’t be able to hold back if she let you venture further. She is not so restrained though: her fingers run through your hair as she pulls you in deeper, and her soft little breasts squish against your chest, drawing blood to your nether region. But before things could get out of control, your rumbling stomach comes to the rescue. “If only it didn’t need to.” - you curse silently in your head. With flushed cheeks and short, shallow breaths, Nana pulls away.

- Breakfast?

- Breakfast… Do you have eggs and bacon?

- I should, yeah. Want me to make some?

- No thanks. I can do it. Do you want some too?

- Uhmm… Sure! I would like a proper breakfast while I can. But I wanna help!

- You’re the boss, boss.

She steals one last cheeky kiss before jumping out of bed, and chassés out of the room. You follow her (butt) with your eyes, then join her in the kitchen.

- Can you grab the things please? - Nana asks as she turns on the stove, and pours the oil into a large pan.

- Sure thing.

Despite you telling her beforehand that you would do the cooking for both of you, she doesn’t give you a chance. Wanting to be a good host, or so she says. You are not one to complain about a lack of work in the morning, so you at least have to pay her back somehow, right? And what better way than a playful bump of your hips against hers, an affectionate hug from behind, or a few delicate kisses on her neck and shoulders. Nana doesn’t reject her payment, and you can feel her skin heat up under your touch. It could be from the fire of the stove, but her crimson ears let you know it’s your doing. When she is almost done, you set the table, and pour out two glasses of orange juice.

You eat in mostly quiet, watching the Sun climb higher on the cloudless sky, only occasionally speaking up. Exactly like on the first date though, it’s not an awkward silences, it’s just… comfortable. You will have many more times in the not so near future to discuss any hot topic, or whatever’s on your minds, but this serene morning needs none of that. It only needs the two of you, stolen glances, exchanged smiles, and some cold oj to flush down the tasty food.

She offers you coffee after you’re done; an offer you can’t refuse, but state one condition in return: “I’m doing the dishes then.” She brings the soul warming beverage to the sofa, where the two of you cuddle up, watching some dumb morning show for entertainment. Your hand roams along her body dutifully through it all, earning you hums of delight. Sadly, the good times come to an end sooner than expected when Nana gets a call from her manager, informing her about a crucial, and certainly critical conference in the coming hour.

- I’ll let you get ready, then. - you tell her, slightly dejected, but not at all surprised.

- Yeah, thanks… You first do the dishes as promised, then head to the bathroom to dress up while she does the same in her bedroom. After a long kiss, you say your goodbyes.

- I’ll see you… whenever, I guess. - you say with a bitter smile.

- I’ll try to make time for you, but I can’t promise anything. - her eyes cast down on the floor, trying not to face the inevitable.

You grab her chin, and bring her eyes up to meet yours briefly, before you give her one more peck on her lips. For the first time you have known her, they were slanting down, but you pour every bit of reassurance into the kiss, and though she doesn’t exactly smile after you pull away, she at least looks less gloomy.

- You just focus on this group first, okay? Don’t push yourself too hard, because I will wait for you, however long it takes.

She darts at you with a tight hug, not letting go of you until she has committed your scent and feel to memory.

- Thank you. I will do my best for you.

- I don’t doubt that for a second. But do it for yourself.

_______________________________________________________

You knew what you signed up for, but that still doesn’t console you. Working, and meeting up with your friends can’t replace Nana’s absence in your life. She puts most of her energy into preparing for her debut, understandably so, and the two of you barely even chat during her promotions. Meetings are almost completely out of the question, bar a few coffees, and a short walk with your dog here and there. The only positive thing about all of this is watching Nana shine on stage more than ever. Even during the rendezvous, she goes on about how much fun it is with the new members, how talented and kind they are, and how much she loves the songs, dances, and concepts. She can’t hide her fatigue though, tainting the sweet times with a somewhat bitter undertone. They even travelled to Japan two times, once to France, and once to Saudi Arabia, and no matter how much you wanted to follow her, there was no way it was ever feasible or logical.

And of course, once the promotions for their first EP 7+UP ends, they almost immediately announce their next comeback in early 2024, threatening even more packed schedules for her, and even less dates for you. Fortunately or not, that somehow fizzles out, but of course, Nana’s agency jumps on the opportunity, riding her newfound fame, striking while the iron is hot: they announce WOOAH’s single releasing in April. Between all this chaos and dickering, only one thing is for certain: you have to meet. You have both waited enough, sacrificed enough, now it’s time to reap in your rewards.

While her bosses deal with legal stuff between WOOAH an EL7Z UP, and set up for the release of BLUSH, you have a few weeks of freedom, and you use it to the fullest. You drink and dine out, go to karaoke and bowling with friends, and during all this, your love for Nana only grows. Finally being with her again, fully, and this frequently, reminds you why you fell for her in the first place: her carefree but never careless attitude, her kind words, her playful teasing, her precious smile and even more precious laughter, her perfect body in your arms, and those soft lips that taunt you to kiss her every time your gaze lands on them, even if there are people watching.

And naturally, it doesn’t take long to give in to the desires you both have held back for God knows how long. After the first few dates, it’s time you cross this bridge. It wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you met up in the afternoon in early February for a BBQ with her friends, but it was always in the cards. Valentine’s day was just around the corner, and you could have waited to make it the most special day of all, but something about today just felt right. Maybe it was how she fed you while you cooked for the group, how she kept looking at you with those curious, adoring eyes, how she snuggled close whenever she could, how she leaned her head on your shoulder, how she clung onto your hand during your walk home, or most likely all of the above.

In any case, it led you here, to this exact moment. You are lying on your bed, and for the first time in many months, it’s not your dog you share it with. Nana is on top of you, her tongue pushing against your lips as you make out, impatiently searching for a way in, which you hastily surrender to her. You have never seen her this zealous, this hungry for you. “I guess she has had enough too.” Sensing her intentions, your hands creep down from her back, and land on her perky ass. It’s time you shed the pretences, and go for what she is offering. What’s yours for the night, and most likely for the foreseeable future, but hopefully forever. You fondle the supple flesh and spread her cheeks apart as much as her jeans allow. She rewards you with moans you can only describe as lewd. Especially for such a gracious girl as her.

Her hands are holding either side of your neck, pulling you impossibly close, deepening the kiss, like she feared you would get away if she let go of you for a second. Her fingers then snake down on your chest, her fingertips tracing teasing circles around your nipple before feeling up your pecs and abs. She moans into the kiss again, but it’s this time more out of appreciation for your fit physique than from the heat that’s building inside her. In the meantime, you reach under her top to rub along the smooth skin of her lower back. The feeling presumably ignites something within her, because she starts to grind against your growing bulge, eliciting a hushed groan from you this time.

It’s a risky limbo of long suppressed lust and never-ending affection. One side of you simply wants to pin her down, and fuck her brains out until she is addicted to you, to your cock, but the more sentimental side yearns for her gentle touches, her sweet kisses, and her soft whimpers of satisfaction, were you to slowly make love to this princess on top of you. The way she quickly reaches for your groin, but stops at the edge of your pants in hesitation, lets you know she is battling with the same demons. And being the sensible man you are, you won’t force her into something she is not hundred percent comfortable with. Nevertheless, you lift your hips, seeking her touch, while also giving her the green light she might have needed.

She doesn’t bite just yet though - except for your lower lips at times. Instead she matches the movement of your hands, and her digits sneak under your shirt to explore your tensing muscles. The arousal is literally palpable, even your clothes start to feel too hot now. As the restrictions start to crumble, Nana takes the first real step: in the blink of an eye she breaks the kiss, sits up, and pulls off her shirt in one move. You barely have a second to admire her athletic upper body, because as soon as she throws her top away, her lips are pressing against yours again. It doesn’t take long for her to reach for your top after that; her fingers hook into the fabric, and you lift from the bed to help her remove it. This time she takes a few seconds to drink in your sight; that lets you enjoy her tantalizing fitness in return.

- Fuck… You are so-

You can’t even finish the sentence, because with a wide grin, she lunges at you, continuing her oral assault where she left off. The sloppy sound of your make-out fills the room, along with heavy breaths and muffled whimpers of arousal. Her fair skin is like velvet under your fingertips as you brush them across her back with unrestrained need. The back of her bra gets in the way of the exploration, but she gives you a quick approval for you to unclasp it. She wiggles out of the pesky piece of fabric, and again, she gives you a mere glimpse of her pert tits before pressing them against your chest to resume with the smooches. Her lips slowly leave yours, and make their way down your jawline, across your neck, and onto your chest. A move you would have rather done to her yourself, but certainly aren’t against to be on the receiving end of. Persistently, she moves further south, only stopping when she reaches your abdomen. She looks up at your flustered face, and with a sly grin, she unbuttons your pants, and unzips your fly. With the lowered resistance, your erection bursts forward, tenting your boxers, the last barrier between you and heaven. Nana tugs at your pants; doesn’t even wait for you to raise your hips, she just yanks it off, but in doing so, your underwear comes off with them. Your cock springs free, and stands at attention proudly, twitching in anticipation. As your princess marvels at your manhood, you get to gawk at her modest, perky breasts. You swear you can see her pink nipples harden, and you give yourself all the credit, since the air in your room is more than warm at this point.

Nana’s mouth hangs agape as she cautiously drops to her knees. You prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look of her reaching for your pole. Her delicate fingers wrap around your girth tentatively, mapping your pulsing veins. Her clutched palm moves along your shaft in a measured fashion, her eyes locked onto her prize. - Such a nice cock… You look at her curiously, somewhat caught off guard by her statement, but before you could give it much thought, her lips are already hovering your leaking tip. She looks up at you with those innocent cocoa-hued eyes, though you can’t find any trace of modesty in her gaze. It’s filled with lust and hunger as she opens wide to take you inside. You hiss at first, when her hot breath hits your meat, then you let out the air in a shaky breath when she envelopes you in the slick and soppy embrace of her mouth. Your head cocks back for a second, but you regain composure, just so you can look into her eyes. She never breaks eye contact as she dutifully takes more and more of your length into her greedy mouth. She pushes her tongue out with practiced ease, making sure your main vein slides nicely alongside the rougher surface.

Your glans reach her uvula, but she doesn’t gag, merely pauses for a second. Even that’s just for show, because she grins (as much as you dick inside her mouth lets her), and in a heartbeat, she has swallowed you whole, leaving you dazed, reeling, about to break, but above all, impressed and extremely horny. Her eyes start to tear up after a few seconds, and only then she starts to remove your member in a leisurely manner. Her drool covers you from head to balls as she slowly jerks your cock, still looking into your widened eyes, spittle dripping down from her chin.

- Holy shit, Nana.

She flashes you a cheeky, victorious smile. - Not gonna lie, I didn’t think I could take it all. I haven’t been with a guy in quite some time, and none of them were packing like you. Her smirk fades, replaced by a sulking pout as she sees your confused expression. - Did you not like it?

You shake your head.

- No, I did! It felt fucking amazing. It’s just unexpected, is all. I never imagined you to had this side.

- It’s kind of new to me too, to be honest. But I’m sooo horny right now. Have been for a long while, to be honest. You were just so nice today. To me, to my friends, even to the cashier at the shop. You always have been, and you don’t even know what that's doing to me. I have never felt this attraction to anyone, and I… I can’t help it. I want you. So fucking bad.

You reach for her blushing cheeks to caress her, which she welcomes with a satisfied sigh. - I want you too, Nana. But I’m sure you know that.

You lean down, and bring her face to yours for a kiss. It’s sweet and sensual, unlike the ones a few minutes ago. Those few words along with this romantic smooch is all she needed for reassurance. She steps away with a wink, and stares at you as she finally takes her pants off. It’s slow and measured, challenging you to stand up and rip them off, but you are too focused on her slender legs, and the blue-striped panties to move even a muscle. When the jeans finally are off, she kicks them to the side, and with short, calculated steps, she makes her way back to you. With both hands on your shoulders, she pushes you onto your back so she can straddle your lap. The wetness of her core seeps through her underwear as she desperately grinds against your throbbing cock. When you reach for her ass again, you realize it’s not just any pair of panties: it’s a thong. When she sees your surprise, she just grins. - I need you in me right now.

To back up her words, she peels the thin, moist fabric to the side; she can’t be bothered to waste another second to actually take them off. She drags her soaking folds across your spit-coated rod a few times, giving it another layer of her slick juices. You hold your breath to listen to the barely audible wet noises, but her quickening squeals of delight suppress the noise. After a few seconds, when she deems you well lubed enough, she lifts herself, and brings your tip to her entrance. Again, you barely have a second or two to take in the glorious sight before she moves. A sharp inhale, then she sinks down on you. Not slowly. Not carefully. And despite her incredible tightness, she manages to take all of you in a single, reckless motion.

- What the- Jesus! - she screams as you bottom out.

- T-take your time, princess. - you suggest, but it’s for your own good too, because the snugness of her raw pussy is almost unbearable. You don’t even question the foregoing of condoms, you assume she knows best.

She doesn’t even seem to have heard your words, too lost in need, too impatient, after having to wait months for you. Without warning, or any easing into it, she rises up, until only your tip remains inside her silken warmth, then slams down onto you. The sharp slap of your skins echoes through the room, but not for long; this wasn’t a one time trick, or something to show off, just an appetizer. She repeats the motion again and again, harder and faster each time. Her legs can barely handle the brutal pace her body demands, so she fixes her position. With her feet planted firmly on either side of your hips, and her hands propped on your chest for support, she resumes pounding you. It might sound ironic, but there is no arguing about it: she is the one in control, she is the one doing all the work, practically using your pulsing heat as a living dildo to vent her pent up frustrations out with. - Fucking hell… Slow down! - you plead between short, ragged breaths as you hold onto her thighs for dear life, leaving red marks on her flawless skin. - I- I can’t… I need this… I need YOU, damnit! I have waited long enough…

She looks you in the eye, and in it, you can see it all. The glints of almost obsessive adoration fuelled by months of longing and affection. The guilt of hidden desires and the fire of hardly concealed lust. It’s all there, and you can’t believe it’s all for you. You can’t believe how lucky you are to have this angel turn into this insatiable succubus, drunk on your love, riding you into a world of pleasure that may have never been discovered by any other. And within those passion-darkened eyes, you see yourself: a perfect reflection of all her feelings. It’s not like she was the only one who has been fighting back their urges for days on end.

- You understand, right? - she asks, still smashing her ass against your pelvis with unwavering cadence.

- Of course… - you admit between groans. - Let me prove it. You clutch onto her legs with force to keep her in place. She cocks her head in confusion– then you thrust into her. She yelps. Her back arches. Her nails dig into your chest. And the erotic display is fuel to the fire, to your pistoning cock. The pace she has set before? You double it. That causes her voice to grow in volume two-fold too.

- Ah! Y/N! - she cries out, which spurs you on to fuck her even harder.

Now that you have taken the lead, and aren’t just along the ride - though what a ride it was - you have the chance to examine her petite body. You start from the top with her face, or at least want to, but her head is still thrown back, moaning your name between obscenities as pleasure takes over her mind. Her reddened neck looks primed to leave hickeys on, albeit that’s for another time. For an occasion when she doesn’t have to cover it up with makeup from prying eyes. Below that, her small, perky tits bounce with your every stab into her needy cunt. You reach for them with both arms, and grope her soft mounds. She bites her lips from that, but then her jaw slacks open with a guttural howl when you pinch her aroused pink nipples, and roll them between your fingers. The reaction is exactly what you hoped for, so your digits stay on her itty-bitties to continue their work. Your eyes continue their work in the meanwhile. They land on her tummy. Her abs flex constantly as she tries to keep herself steady on top of you. Her skin is patterned by little drops of sweat, some of which give in to gravity and roll down in the crevice of her toned midriff. And the more you fuck her, the more her body glows with sweat. Not too far underneath her cute belly button, the sight of her completely shaved pussy greets you. It’s arguably the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, even in its current state. Or maybe that’s exactly what makes it so enticing. It’s swollen and flushed, her folds already covered in grool, yet your pounding draws even more of the precious nectar out.

*What a shame I couldn’t taste it. Yet. * - you think to yourself.

Nana finally gets a hold of herself, at least enough to look at you. The craving in her eyes is softened with an infatuation that makes you blush. She leans forward with a weak smile, her fingers brush along your cheekbones in a soothing way, raising goosebumps on your arms. The stark contrast between the gentle touch and the obscene slapping of flesh against flesh throws you off, but your hips are moving on their own at this point, unbothered by the sudden show of affection. Not that she intended for you to slow down anyways, just wanted to look at you, adore you, one last time before she comes undone.

Because after holding back for months, this first orgasm comes fast and hits hard, like a bullet train of pleasure. Her eyes are still on yours, but glassy and unfocused now. She bites down on her tongue, trying to hold back a moan, as if she was suddenly self-conscious about making so much noise (little does she know, there aren’t any neighbours around to worry about). You give her taut ass a sharp whack, and that’s enough to get her to scream and arch her back.

- Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!!!

You don’t just let her savour the orgasm though. No. You fuck her through it. Overwhelming her senses to a degree she can’t contain. You press your thumb onto her clit– a few circles around her pearl is all it takes to turn her into a quivering mess. Her legs give out, and she drops onto your lap, practically impaling herself on your dick, preventing you from pounding her further. Her mouth is open, and you wait for a moan, a curse, a cry, but none of it ever comes. Nana doesn’t even breathe. The only sign of life you get is her walls squeezing around you periodically, clamping down on your rock solid pole.

It’s sort of a miracle you don’t lose it right there. But you hold back because you want more. More of her moans. More of her tight, silky heat. More of her pretty face distorted with pleasure. More of her jiggling breasts. More of her firm ass. More of Nana.

- Holy fuck! - she finally speaks up amidst shallow breaths - That was incredible… I never… I never came so hard in my life.

- Yeah, that felt unreal. - you agree, lacing your fingers through hers. - You are fucking perfect.

- But… But you didn’t finish yet. - she notes, slightly disappointed, but not discouraged, evident by her playful smirk. - Maybe a good look at my butt would help.

With your cock still inside her drenched slit, she spins around, and nestles into your lap. She tries to go fast right away, but her still sensitive pussy forces her to take a moment before she could properly ride you. At first, you grab onto the sheets, just watching as ripples tear through her glistening ass. But you can’t go on like that for long. Not when such perfection is right in front of you, taunting you, begging to be played with. And so you reach out, take both her taut cheeks in your palms, and give them a nice squeeze.

- Mmmh~ I knew you would like it.

- I fuckin’ LOVE it. - you correct her. When she looks back at you over her shoulders, her hair cascades down on her back, sticking to her sweaty skin. Her lust-filled gaze finds yours, stuck to her cute little bottom, and to the puckered hole in its centre. A knowing smile tugs at her lips as she turns forward again, and she rides you even faster. You spread her cheeks to get a better look at her rear entrance; it twitches, daring you to make a move. And you don’t need to be asked twice. After licking your thumb to lube it up, you inch closer and closer to her backdoor, and since Nana doesn’t protest, you press forward. To your surprise, it gives way to you without much resistance, as if she was prepared for it, wishing for it even. And judging by her loud, almost deafening moan, that’s exactly the case.

The added sensation makes her already tight cunt clench your dick even harder. She gasps, shuddering, but she doesn’t stop. She can’t. She wants to push you to your peak and past that. She wants you to cum for her, to show her how much you adore her, how much she turns you on, how good she feels. If only she knew.

- Come on Y/N… Cum for me! - she begs as she rolls her hips in a way only a practiced dancer like she can.

Your reply is a moan. A desperate, covetous wail, that gives away just how close you are to the edge. Teetering on the brink, facing the abyss… An abyss of pure bliss and overflowing emotions. Its pull is irresistible, as is Nana, and you feel the inferno in your abdomen building up, threatening to erupt at any time. And no matter how wet she is, how much she is leaking all over your lap and onto the bed sheets, it only feeds the fire more, along with your own unravelling. You are almost there, and Nana knows it too from the way your length twitches more and more inside her, and from your short, laboured breaths through gritted teeth.

- Please just fill me up already! Now that’s just cheating. One that probably works eleven out of ten times. Your body locks up as you drown in the pleasure. You try to hold her still against your pelvis as you start to unload inside her welcoming little hole, but she slaps your trembling hands away, and rides you even faster.

Did you really think she wouldn’t pay back for the ‘favour’ of you overstimulating her when she came? You should have known better.

She fucks you, until you’re a shaking mess under her– until her second orgasm hits. The way your combined moans fill the room (the whole house, really) along with the wet sounds of your mixing juices, as it sloshes around lewdly with Nana’s every movement, is completely obscene. It’s a beautifully filthy symphony, played by and for the two of you.

A/N: Your dog is in the garden, preoccupied with searching for a treat he buried a week ago, in case you’re wondering.

Nana rolls her hips slowly to ride out the last moments of her orgasm, while also milking your cock for every last drop of cum you have to offer. She purrs in delight as you fill her thirsty womb, then, once you have nothing left to give, she turns around and collapses on top of you– entirely spent, and thoroughly satisfied. Her hot breath tickles your neck as she lies on your chest, but you barely register it. Your brain is locked onto the receptors in your nether region. Still, with how out of it you are, you manage to command your body to do one thing: hug Nana close.

The two of you stay in that sticky embrace, your chests heaving against the other’s with each shallow breath while your spunk slowly drips out of her used slit. It takes a few minutes before either of you come down from the high, able to speak again.

- You are way too good at that. That had to be my biggest load yet.

- Thanks, handsome~ You are no slouch yourself. - she returns the flattery along with a small kiss, then looks at you. Her eyes sparkle with the afterglow of your ravenous lovemaking, but she has a slightly bashful expression on. - This- This was the first time anyone came inside me. I don’t know what came over me, I was just so turned on, so horny, and I really wanted to know what it felt like, and I wanted it to be you, because I didn’t know when we could do this again… And I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of girl, who just sleeps around for the heck of it, opening her legs for any-

You shut her yapper with a deep, passionate kiss, until she finally relaxes in your arms.

- You have nothing to explain, Nana. Not to me, not to yourself. - your fingers brush through her hair for further reassurance.

She stares back with adoration, then lays her head on your chest with a sigh. The stark contrast between the rough sex and the intimacy of this moment doesn’t elude you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not like you went all out because there was not even a trace of emotion between you; it’s the exact opposite. You were both so starved for physical affection, so head over heels for the other, that this was the best and only way to release everything that’s been consuming you since your first kiss.

- I hate to be this responsible right now, - you disrupt the blissful peace - but I should take a piss. And I really need to hydrate.

- Sure… You go ahead and do that… I’ll just… wait for you here…

You steal a kiss before she rolls off of you, then you leave the room in your boxers. After you accomplish your mission and let Bingley inside, you return to Nana with two bottles of water.

- Here. You should drink too.

- Oh yeah, thanks.

- Want me to lend you a shirt for the night? - you ask after emptying half the bottle.

- Hmmm, no. I want to fall asleep cuddling like this.

- As you wish, princess.

You discard the soaked blankets for a clean one, take off your boxers, then lie behind Nana with your arms wrapped around her exhausted body. The strong scent of sex lingers in the room, only dampened by the sweetness of Nana’s shampoo. She settles deeper into your calming embrace, her bare skin still warm and damp with exertion, and it feels sooo nice against your body. Like she was always meant to be right there. Right here. With you. The only sound disturbing the tranquil silence is the nestling from her thighs as they absentmindedly rub together at the delicious soreness you left in her. Until you remember something.

- Oh! Just one more thing.

- Mmm? - she groans, barely awake.

- I love you.

- I know. - she leaves the words hanging for a few, very uncomfortable seconds - I love you too.

Her breaths become silent purrs, and her pulse slows to a soothing thrum against your palm on her stomach. She threads her fingers through yours, content, loved, comfy, pleased.

- Good night princess.

- Mmm~

You stay awake for a while, drawing little circles on the back of her hand, replaying the events of today in your head. Especially this last half an hour. Would she have been like this if you went all the way earlier? Who knows? Who cares? Was it worth the wait regardless? Absolutely. Because all that matters is her, lying in your arms, naked, after the best sex of your life. So far! Because with Nana, you know you will have all the fun in the world– in and out of bed. And doubtless, she will prove that in the morning when she wakes up by your side. By her beloved Y/N.

[sulkenswan]

SUCKER — MASTERLIST

gorgeous fanart by @nramv , edited by me

vampire!dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader

info: you've never given much thought as to how you would die, but right now you really wouldn't mind death taking your hand. moving away from the only home you've known to live with your father in jackson, away from the sunny weather to constant cold and rain. to make it worse, ellie williams seems to have taken an interest in you, and despite the warnings you've received, you just can't seem to stay away from her. but the constant push and pull you're receiving, and the mystery of her is making you question if she's even human at all.

cw: dark themes, set in the 2000's minus some homophobia, ellie's a stalker and obsessed with reader, eventual smut so mdni, alludes to death and depression, loss, hurt, angst, comfort, fluff, underage drug & smoke use (both e & r are 18), i'll add more as i go x

note: obviously very inspired by twilight, follows the same logic and kind the same plot but not really? however will still include many iconic twilight lines... thank you to my friend E & as always @satellitespinner for proofreading & editing!

word count (so far): 12,315

MOODBOARD PLAYLIST

CHAPTERS

prologue, something new (3.8k words)

info: rain appears to be the centre of your new life, as well as your newest enemy. you try to adapt to the cold town of jackson while simultaneously remeeting what seems to be every person in town, bracing yourself for the first day of school.

chapter one, so close to what (8.5k words)

info: your first day goes surprisingly well, despite the unwanted attention, your mostly bothered by the auburn haired girl who cant seem to stand you, despite you doing nothing. you find peace in being alone and decorating, waiting until the day you see her pale face once more, and when you do, she seems to have much more interest in you than before.

[dippindaz]

Munson's Little Sister Part 2 - Billy x Reader

Here is part 2 :) I hope everyone enjoys

You can find the masterlist here

Warnings: Kissing, butt grabbing, slight(?) hair pulling, blood mentioned

The gym is packed, the energy buzzing with the kind of excitement only high school sports can generate. Students crowd the bleachers, some actually invested in the game, others just here for the social aspect. The cheerleaders lead a chant, their voices barely cutting through the roar of the crowd, and the scent of popcorn and sweat hangs in the air.

You and Robin manage to find seats toward the middle of the bleachers, wedged between a group of excitable underclassmen and a couple making out like they’re in the privacy of their own home.

“God, kill me now,” Robin mutters, grimacing as she shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

You smirk, but your focus is elsewhere. Your eyes scan the court, searching almost unconsciously until they land on him.

He’s in his element, moving across the court with that effortless, cocky confidence. His jersey clings to him, curls damp from sweat, a permanent smirk playing on his lips. Every time he makes a shot, the crowd loses it, girls in the stands cheering his name.

You tell yourself you’re just watching the game like everyone else. That it has nothing to do with the fact that Billy’s playing in it or that this is the first time he’s looked at all day.

As if sensing your gaze, Billy’s eyes flick up to the bleachers, scanning until they land on you. His smirk widens just a fraction, and for a second, it feels like the whole gym narrows to just the two of you.

Then he winks.

You tear your gaze away, heat creeping to your cheeks. Robin, oblivious to your internal chaos, nudges you with her elbow.

“This game is so stupid,” she groans. “Why do people get so worked up over—” She follows your line of sight, her expression shifting. “Wait. Were you just—oh my God, were you looking at Hargrove?”

Your head snaps toward her. “No.”

Robin narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Uh-huh. Right.”

You shove a handful of popcorn into your mouth to avoid answering.

Robin huffs. “You know he’s an ass, right?”

“Obviously.” You don’t need another person reminding you of that.

Robin gives you one last side-eye before turning back to the game. You try to focus on not looking at Billy, but his constant glances your way are hard to ignore.

And the worst part?

You really didn’t mind it.

The final buzzer sounds, and the gym erupts into cheers as Hawkins secures the win. The team celebrates on the court, clapping each other on the back, while the crowd starts to filter out of the bleachers.

Robin stretches, groaning dramatically. “Thank God that’s over. Now we can get to the real reason I agreed to come—harassing Steve.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up in a minute.”

Robin gives you a questioning look but shrugs. “Alright. Try not to get lost in the crowd.” She disappears into the sea of students, leaving you standing near the edge of the bleachers.

You let out a slow breath, glancing toward the court. Most of the players have already started heading back to the locker room, but one hasn’t.

Billy.

He’s still out there, still sweaty, still smug, and worst of all, looking right at you.

You barely have time to process before he’s striding over, pushing past a couple of lingering students until he’s right in front of you.

He’s Close.

He’s too close.

The scent of sweat and cheap cologne lingers in the air between you, and his skin glistens under the gym lights. His curls are damp, strands sticking to his forehead, but he doesn’t seem to care. His smirk is firmly in place, and his eyes gleam with something dangerous.

“Well?” he drawls, tilting his head. “Enjoy the show?”

You cross your arms, forcing yourself to keep your expression neutral. “It was fine.”

Billy lets out a short chuckle, clearly entertained. “Just fine? C’mon, Princess. I thought you’d be a little more fun than that.”

You roll your eyes. “Shouldn’t you be off celebrating with the rest of the team?”

He grins. “I’d rather celebrate with you.”

Your stomach flips, but you keep your face blank. “Not happening.”

Billy clicks his tongue. “That’s too bad. I was gonna invite you to the afterparty.”

You raise an eyebrow. “And what made you think I’d say yes?”

His smirk widens, and he leans in just slightly—still enough to feel his warm breath against your skin.

“Promise I won’t bite,” he murmurs, voice low and teasing. Then, with an infuriating pause, he adds, “Unless you want me to.”

Your breath catches, but you don’t move back. You should, but you don’t. Billy watches you carefully, eyes scanning your face like he’s waiting for something. He knows he’s getting to you.

He leans back just a fraction, giving you space—but not much. “So?” he asks, expectant.

You hesitate. You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. But the words are leaving your mouth before you can stop them. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Billy grins, victorious. “Knew you would.”

Before you can turn away, he tilts his head, studying you for a second before adding, “Wait for me after. I’ll drive.”

Your stomach twists. “What? No, I can—”

Billy raises an eyebrow, already smirking like he knew you’d argue. “C’mon, sweetheart. You really wanna show up to a party with Harrington and his little sidekick?”

You glare at him. “Robin is not his sidekick.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “That’s what you’re focusing on?”

You cross your arms, searching for an out, but Billy steps closer, voice dropping just enough to make your skin prickle.

“Just let me drive you,” he says smoothly. “It’ll be fun.”

You swallow. You should say no. You really should. But the way he’s looking at you—like he’s already won—makes your stubborn streak flare up.

“Fine,” you mutter, averting your gaze. “Whatever.”

Billy grins, triumphant. “Good girl.”

Your breath catches, and he knows it.

“Meet me out front,” he says, then turns on his heel and walks off, leaving you standing there with a racing pulse, butterflies in your stomach, and an absolutely terrible feeling in your chest.

The parking lot is mostly empty by the time you step outside. The cool night air nips at your skin as you scan the lot, your stomach twisting in anticipation—whether from excitement or nerves, you can’t tell.

And then you see it.

Billy’s Camaro is parked near the edge of the lot, headlights off, but he’s there, leaning casually against the driver’s side door, arms crossed over his chest. His hair is damp from the post-game shower, and his Hawkins jersey is swapped out for a fitted black t-shirt. He looks annoyingly good.

He notices you immediately. A slow smirk creeps onto his lips as he pushes off the car and meets you halfway. “Thought you were gonna stand me up,” he muses.

You scoff, shifting your weight. “Tempting.”

Billy tuts, shaking his head. “That’d be rude, sweetheart.” He gestures toward the car. “C’mon. Get in.”

You hesitate for only a second before exhaling sharply and moving toward the passenger side. The door creaks slightly as you pull it open, and the scent of cigarettes, cheap cologne, and something undeniably him fills your nose the second you slide in. The leather seats are cool against your skin, and when Billy climbs in beside you, the car suddenly feels much smaller.

The engine roars to life, vibrating beneath you as Billy shifts into gear. “You ever been to a real party before?” he asks, drumming his fingers against the wheel as he pulls out of the lot.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, Billy.”

He glances at you, amused. “Lemme guess—some little gathering with Munson and his band of losers?”

You glare at him. “They’re not losers.”

Billy snorts, eyes back on the road. “Right.”

Silence stretches between you. Outside, the streetlights blur past, and you find yourself absently tracing the curve of your knee, hyper-aware of the warmth radiating off of Billy beside you.

“So,” he says, breaking the quiet, “what made you change your mind?”

You blink. “What?”

“About tonight,” Billy clarifies. “Couple days ago, you wanted nothing to do with me.” He glances at you again, smirk teasing at his lips. “Now here you are, in my car, lettin’ me take you to a party.”

Your face heats. “I—” You fumble for an answer, something that isn’t the truth. That you’d been thinking about him too much. That some stupid part of you wanted to be here.

Billy chuckles, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice dripping with something both smooth and dangerous. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He shoots you a sidelong glance, smirk deepening. “Unless, of course, you don’t want me to.”

Your breath catches.

Billy just grins, clearly pleased with himself, and returns his focus to the road, leaving you sitting there, heart pounding.

The house is already packed by the time Billy pulls up, the muffled thump of music vibrating through the car windows. A few kids linger outside, passing around drinks and cigarettes, laughter spilling into the warm night air. You spot a couple of familiar faces—mostly people from school you don’t talk to much—but before you can think too hard about it, Billy kills the engine and turns to you.

“You look nervous,” he observes, smirking.

You huff, shifting in your seat. “I’m not nervous.”

Billy raises a brow. “No?” He leans in slightly, resting an arm on the back of your seat. “Then why’re you still sittin’ here?”

Your fingers tighten around your bag strap. Truthfully, you don’t know. Maybe because this feels like a bad idea, like the kind of thing that could change things. But you’re already here, and the way Billy’s looking at you, like he’s got you all figured out.

Maybe it’s your pride, or maybe you just want him to like you that badly. Regardless, you lift your chin and push open the door. “You coming?” you throw over your shoulder.

Billy chuckles, stepping out after you. “That’s more like it.”

Inside, the party is loud and hazy, the air thick with cigarette smoke and the sharp scent of cheap beer. Someone’s already half-passed out on the couch, and a group near the kitchen is shouting over a drinking game. You spot Robin and Steve by the stereo, deep in conversation, but before you can head their way, Billy’s hand brushes against the small of your back.

“C’mon,” he says, voice low by your ear. “Let’s get a drink.”

You hesitate. “I don’t—”

Billy tilts his head, eyes glinting. “Relax, princess. Just one.”

Against your better judgment, you follow him toward the kitchen, where he grabs a bottle and twists it open before handing it to you. “Go on,” he urges, watching as you take a tentative sip.

It’s stronger than you expect, and you cough, grimacing. Billy laughs, leaning against the counter. “Not a fan?”

You shoot him a glare but take another sip anyway. “It’s fine.”

Billy’s grin lingers as he watches you, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes. “Y’know,” he muses, “didn’t think I’d get you here.”

“Yeah, well,” you mutter, glancing around. “I’m full of surprises.”

Billy hums, clearly amused. “Guess we’ll see about that.”

Before you can ask what that means, someone calls Billy’s name, you barely have time to register it before Billy straightens, rolling his shoulders like a boxer stepping into the ring. A couple of guys from the basketball team wave him over, drinks in hand, already hyping him up over the game.

Billy tilts his head toward you. “Go have some fun, dollface. I’ll find you later.”

Before you can respond, he’s gone, swallowed by the crowd.

You exhale, your eyebrows knitting together as you glance around. You shouldn’t feel disappointed. You shouldn’t be wondering when later is.

Don’t let it bother you. But it does. So does the noise and lack of familiarity at this party. Your eyes scan the room for Robin. But you’re sure she didn’t stick around; she isn’t the partying type. If Steve’s here, he’s probably got his tongue halfway down Nancy’s throat right now and that’s a sight you don’t want to see. So really, you’re just looking for someone that you know.

You weave through the crowd, dodging drunken conversations and the occasional sloshing cup of beer. The air inside is thick with cigarette smoke and sweat, the music pounding against your skull like a second heartbeat. You don't know why you thought this would be fun. You don’t even drink. And as much as you shouldn’t care, Billy being whisked away so quickly—like he didn’t just go out of his way to bring you here—leaves an odd taste in your mouth.

With a sigh, you push through a side door and step outside onto the back porch. The night air is a relief, crisp and cool against your flushed skin. It’s quieter here, the party noise muffled behind the walls, leaving only the occasional chatter of a few couples further down the porch. But they’re lost in their own worlds, paying you no mind.

You lean against the wooden railing, letting yourself breathe, finally taking a moment to process why you’re even here. It wasn’t for the party. It wasn’t for Steve, or Robin, or anyone else. It was for him.

And you hate that.

A shiver crawls up your spine, whether from the cold or the realization itself, you’re not sure. You should leave. Walk home, convince someone to drive you, whatever it is. You shouldn’t be here. It was stupid.

“Didn’t peg you for the party type,” a voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

You glance over, instantly recognizing one of the guys from the basketball team. You don’t know his name, but he’s got that same cocky air as the rest of them.

You shrug. “Not usually.”

He smirks. "Didn’t think Hargrove would let you out of his sight."

Your stomach twists at that. "He doesn’t own—" you start, but Brandon cuts you off with a chuckle.

"Please, everyone saw you walk in with him. Pretty sure that means you’re his for the night."

Something about the way he says it—like you’re some kind of prize—grates against your nerves. You push off the railing, ready to leave, but his hand finds your arm, not rough, but firm enough to make your muscles tense.

"Relax, I’m just messing with you," he says, but his fingers don’t move.

Before you can shake him off, before you can even open your mouth—

"Didn’t realize I had to keep a leash on you, sweetheart."

Billy’s voice is smooth, easy, but there’s nothing relaxed about the way he steps between you and the other guy, his presence heavy, suffocating. His eyes flick down to the guy’s hand still on your arm.

He releases you instantly. "Shit, man, I wasn’t—"

"Wasn’t what?" Billy cuts in, tilting his head. His smirk is lazy, almost amused, but you can see the sharpness beneath it. "Wasn’t tryin’ to steal my girl?"

He puts his hands up, stepping back. "Didn’t know she was off-limits, man. My bad."

Billy finally looks at you, possessiveness flickering behind his blue eyes. "She is."

Your breath catches. The words shouldn't mean anything. Shouldn’t make your pulse stutter the way it does.

The guy nods quickly, muttering some excuse before slipping back into the house, leaving you alone with Billy.

He turns to you then, stepping closer, his voice dropping lower. "Didn’t think I had to spell it out for people, but maybe I should."

Your lips part, but you don’t know what to say. You should be mad, should tell him off for acting like he owns you. But all you can think about is how close he is, how intense his gaze is on yours.

He leans in, just enough to make your breath hitch. "Careful who you let get close, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want anyone gettin’ the wrong idea."

The party doesn’t get any quieter, but Billy keeps close after that. Not in an obvious, possessive way—he’s not clinging to you, not throwing an arm around your shoulders—but he lingers nearby. Close enough that you can feel his presence no matter where you move in the house. Close enough that anyone thinking of striking up a conversation with you seems to reconsider after a single glance in his direction.

And maybe that should annoy you, but the longer you stay, the less you mind it.

You don’t see Robin or Steve, and with nothing but drunken teenagers around, you eventually settle against the wall near Billy as he leans on the counter, half-listening to some conversation between a few of his teammates. His beer dangles from his fingertips, barely sipped. His attention flicks to you every so often, eyes unreadable in the dim light of the kitchen.

It’s only when the party reaches the point where people are either stumbling or making out in every corner that Billy pushes off the counter and turns to you.

“C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

You blink up at him. “Yeah, probably a good idea.”

You follow him out, assuming you’ll be heading back home. But when you slide into the passenger seat of his Camaro and he pulls out of the driveway, he doesn’t head towards the trailer park. Instead, he takes a sharp turn out of town, toward the winding road that leads to the quarry.

You frown, glancing at him. “Uh, this isn’t the trailer park, Hargrove.”

“Yeah, no shit,” he mutters, one hand gripping the wheel, the other resting lazily on his thigh. “Figured I’d give you a break from babysitting Munson all night.”

“I don’t babysit Eddie,” you huff, crossing your arms.

Billy smirks, eyes flicking to you briefly before returning to the road. “Sure, you don’t.”

The drive is quiet after that. It’s late, the roads empty except for the occasional streetlamp casting long shadows over the pavement. The steady hum of the engine fills the space between you, and for once, Billy isn’t filling the silence with cocky remarks or teasing jabs.

By the time he pulls up near the edge of the quarry, the headlights bouncing off the rocky terrain, he looks… different. The ever-present smirk is gone, his usual sharp edges softened just a little.

You watch as he rolls his window down and kills the engine. Billy then leaned back against the seat with a sigh, tilting his head against the headrest. The moon casts a faint light over his face, highlighting the way his jaw clenches, the way his fingers tap against his knee like he’s trying to keep himself grounded.

For the first time, he looks… tired. Not just physically, but in a way that feels deeper, heavier.

You hesitate, then shift slightly toward him. “You okay?”

He scoffs, but there’s no real bite to it. “Yeah, just peachy.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Really? ‘Cause you don’t seem like it.”

Billy exhales through his nose, drumming his fingers harder before finally going still. For a long moment, he doesn’t say anything. Then, so quietly you almost miss it, he mutters, “Didn’t feel like goin’ home yet.”

You don’t ask why. You don’t have to. The weight behind those words is enough.

For once, you don’t try to analyze him, don’t try to pick apart his intentions. Instead, you lean your head back against the seat, mirroring him. “Yeah. I get that.”

And somehow, that’s enough.

The Camaro sits still, the night stretching around you, and for the first time, there’s no push and pull, no sharp edges between you. Just quiet understanding.

You’re not sure if this moment should feel so comfortable. Enjoyable. But it does. Because for once, he’s not playing games. He’s not smirking or teasing or trying to get under your skin. He’s just… Billy.

And you don’t entirely know what to do with that.

You hesitate for a moment before finally unbuckling your seatbelt and pushing the car door open. The night air is crisp and refreshing after the haze of beer and sweat from the party. Gravel crunches under your shoes as you step forward, glancing back at Billy, who hasn’t moved yet.

“You coming?” you ask.

Billy exhales through his nose, like he hadn’t actually planned on getting out. But after a beat, he reaches for the door handle and steps out, stretching his arms above his head before shutting the door behind him.

You walk a few steps ahead, stopping near the edge where the land slopes downward toward the still, dark water below. The only lights out here are the moon and stars, casting a pale glow over the rocks and rippling surface.

Billy comes up beside you, hands in his pockets, gazing out at the water. His shoulders slumped and an odd look in his eyes.

“You do this a lot?” you ask.

“What?”

“Disappear after a party. Drive off to the middle of nowhere.”

He smirks, but it’s faint, tired. “Maybe.” He kicks a loose rock, sending it skidding down toward the water. “Not much to do in this town besides drink, fight, or fuck. ‘Less you count this.”

“And what is ‘this’?”

“Nothin’,” he says, voice lower, almost contemplative. “Just a break.”

You look at him closer. His posture is loose, but there’s something weighed down about him, something he’s not saying. Maybe it’s the beer, maybe it’s the late hour, or maybe it’s the fact that, for once, he’s not trying to impress or intimidate anyone.

“Rough day?” you ask softly.

Billy scoffs. “Rough year.”

You don’t know what to say to that. You don’t really know anything about Billy’s life, except that he showed up in Hawkins, all charm and arrogance, immediately claiming his place at the top of the food chain. But there’s more to him, that much is obvious.

“You ever just wanna get the hell outta here?” he asks suddenly, eyes still on the water.

The question surprises you. You’d never expect him to ask that. You clear your throat. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course,” you admit. “I mean, I’ve got responsibilities here, but if I had the chance? If things were different?” You huff out a small breath. “Yeah. I’d leave in a heartbeat.”

Billy nods slowly, like he already knew your answer. Like maybe he’s thought about it a million times himself.

He sighs and sits on the ground. “Sometimes I just need to get away. Don’t really got anywhere else to go.”

Something about the way he says it makes you pause. You don’t push, but you don’t change the subject either. You slowly move to sit beside him, your shoulders almost touching.

“Is it that bad?” you ask after a beat, your voice softer than before.

Billy doesn’t answer right away. For a moment you think he won’t. Then, finally, he lets out a short breath. “Yeah.”

You didn’t expect the honesty. Truthfully, you didn’t expect any of this. You didn’t even think Billy had a vulnerable side, much less that you’d ever see it.

The conversation dips into silence again, but it’s not uncomfortable. If anything, it feels… easy. Like you’re both just two people, stripped of whatever expectations everyone else puts on you. No reputations, no rumors. Just existing.

Billy shifts, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out before offering it to you.

You shake your head. “No, thanks.”

He shrugs, sticking one between his lips and lighting up. The orange glow flickers against his face as he inhales, then exhales slowly, smoke curling into the night air.

“You’re different than I thought you’d be,” he says suddenly.

You raise an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His lips twitch, almost like he’s amused by his own thoughts. “Figured you’d be a little more like your brother. Loud. Annoying as hell.”

You chuckle. “Thanks.”

Billy grins, tilting his head toward you. “Nah, I mean it. You’re… quiet. But not in a scared way. You just—” He exhales, looking away. “You think before you talk. Most people don’t do that.”

You’re not sure what to say to that. Because it sounds dangerously close to a compliment, and you don’t know what to do with Billy saying something that isn’t meant to rile you up.

Instead, you look back out at the water. “I should probably get home soon.”

Billy flicks the ash off his cigarette. “Yeah. Guess so.”

But neither of you move to stand. Instead, you rest your palms on the grass, leaning back. Out of the corner of your eye you can see him looking at you. You turn your head, meeting his gaze and it feels different. Like, he’s really seeing you, not just picking you apart for something to tease.

“What?” you ask, voice quieter than before.

Billy shakes his head, a slow smile tugging at his lips, but it’s not the usual arrogant one—it’s softer, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. “Nothin’.”

“Liar.”

He huffs a short laugh but doesn’t give you a proper answer.

“You got plans tomorrow?” he asks after a beat.

You look back out to the water, butterflies beginning to form in your stomach. “Why?”

Billy shrugs. “Maybe I wanna see you again.”

It should sound like a line. It probably is a line. But the way he says it, the way his voice dips just slightly at the end, makes your heart flutter.

“You see me every day at school,” you say, attempting to keep your tone even.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t count.” His smirk deepens. “C’mon, princess. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“You really want me to answer that?” You ask with a chuckle.

Billy laughs, shaking his head as he looks back at the water. He stubs out his cigarette on the ground.

“You know,” he starts, his voice quieter now, more contemplative than usual, “you’re not the only one who wants to keep things under control.”

You glance over at him, brows furrowed, but he’s not looking at you. His gaze is fixed on the quarry, the water stretching out under the moonlight, calm and still.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you say, your voice guarded.

Billy doesn’t answer immediately. He exhales slowly, as if trying to find the right words, and then finally looks at you. “You’ve got this thing where you think you can plan everything. But, hell, life doesn’t always work that way.”

You stare at him, feeling a tension build in your chest. You’re not sure how he can read you so easily. And for some reason, you think he isn’t just talking about you, rather, himself too.

“And what’s your point?” you challenge, though you’re not sure why. It’s not like you’re really mad at him. It’s just… uncomfortable. No one likes being called out.

Billy leans back against the seat, his eyes flicking toward the water again. “My point is, you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t always have to be the responsible one. Sometimes you gotta do something just for the hell of it.”

You can’t help but laugh bitterly, shaking your head. “You think I should just go off the rails like you, Hargrove?”

He smirks. “Nah. I’m not sayin’ you gotta be like me.” He pauses for a moment, a flicker of something in eyes. “But you can let go a little.”

You swallow hard, feeling the weight of his words settle in your chest. The idea of letting go, of not being the one to keep everything in line, is terrifying. But there’s something about Billy’s easy confidence that pulls at you, tempting you to step into the unknown.

Billy nods toward the quarry, a glint of something mischievous in his eyes. “You ever go in?”

You shake your head. “Nope.”

"The water’s right there." He gestures lazily to the quarry, then looks at you, eyebrow raised.

You raise your eyebrows and scoff. “I’m not going in there.”

Billy chuckles like he expected that response. “You scared or somethin’?”

You scoff. "Of course not."

"Then prove it."

You narrow your eyes. "I didn’t realize I had to prove anything to you."

Billy grins, standing up in one fluid motion. He pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the grass before kicking off his shoes. His hands go to his belt next, unbuckling it with ease.

"What the hell are you doing?" Your mouth goes dry, you want to look away, you probably should, but… well you also don’t want to look away.

"What’s it look like?" He shoots you a smirk before shoving his jeans down and stepping out of them, leaving him in just his boxers. Then, without hesitation, he jogs toward the edge and dives into the water.

You scramble to your feet, watching as he disappears beneath the surface. He’s under for a few seconds before breaking through, shaking water from his hair and turning to look at you.

"Shit’s nice," he calls out. "You comin’ or what?"

“No thank, I don’t feel like getting wet.” You called back.

“Bet I can change your mind.” He says, and you swear you can see the smirk on his face deepen.

You scoff and roll your eyes, but don’t respond. You cross your arms over your chest, still looking over the ledge at him. The cool night air brushes against your skin, but some part of you can’t resist the idea of joining Billy. Of entertaining the possibility of him for just a bit longer. You can go back to responsibility and ignoring him tomorrow, right? It’s just swimming.

"C’mon, sweetheart." His voice is smoother now, coaxing. "You spend all this time thinkin’ ‘bout what you should and shouldn’t do. Just do somethin’ for the hell of it."

Your pulse quickens. Maybe, just this once…

Your fingers hover over the hem of your shirt. Billy watches you, his expression unreadable. And before you can talk yourself out of it, you pull the fabric over your head. Your shoes and pants follow.

Billy’s smirk returns, slow and satisfied. "That’s my girl."

That makes your heart pound. You can feel heat creeping to your cheeks and suddenly you’re grateful he’s so far away. You step to the edge and take a deep breath before jumping into the water below.

The cold rush of water engulfs you instantly, stealing your breath. For a second, all you hear is the muffled quiet beneath the surface, a stark contrast to the pounding of your heart. When you break through, gasping softly, Billy’s already watching you.

His arms move lazily through the water, keeping him afloat as he smirks. "Not bad, huh?"

You push your wet hair out of your face, trying to ignore the way your body still buzzes from the sound of that’s my girl. "It’s freezing."

"You’ll get used to it."

Billy floats closer, water rippling between you. There’s an ease to the way he moves, completely comfortable in his own skin. You wish you could say the same for yourself.

"See?" he says, voice lower now. "Didn’t kill ya."

"Yeah, well. Jury’s still out."

Billy chuckles, and the sound makes your stomach flip. He dips his head back, wet curls sticking to his forehead as he watches you. "You really gotta loosen up, Munson."

You roll your eyes, but before you can fire back, he surges forward, splashing a wave of water at you. You yelp, spluttering, and immediately return fire, sending a splash right back at him.

Billy laughs, a real, unguarded laugh. It’s warm in a way you don’t expect, and it does something to you—makes something shift in your chest.

Before you know it, you’re both laughing, treading water in the moonlight, teasing and splashing until you’re breathless. And then—

Then, just like that, the moment settles.

You don’t know who stops first, but suddenly the space between you is less. Billy is close, closer than he’s been all night, and it’s different now. His usual cocky grin has softened at the edges, and his eyes flicker to your lips—just for a second, but long enough that you notice.

Your breath catches.

"Billy—"

He reaches out, fingers brushing lightly against your waist beneath the water. A slow, deliberate touch. His eyes hold yours, searching, asking.

And maybe you should pull away. Maybe you should remind yourself of all the reasons this is a bad idea.

But you don’t.

Because right now, with the water lapping at your skin and the way Billy’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that matters… you realize, you want this. And sometimes, that’s all that matters.

“Tell me to stop.” He murmurs, leaning in and hovering his lips over yours.

You don’t.

Billy doesn’t hesitate.

The moment he has his answer—the moment you don’t pull away—he closes the space between you, lips pressing against yours with a confidence that makes your head spin. It’s not gentle. It’s not careful. It’s heat and pressure, the kind of kiss that steals your breath, that makes you forget everything except him.

His hand curls around your waist, pulling you against him. Your fingers find his shoulders, digging in just slightly as you kiss him back. Billy hums against your lips, like he’s pleased, like he knew this would happen all along. It should annoy you. Maybe it does. But right now, you don’t care.

His teeth press into your bottom lip, teasing, and you gasp just enough for him to take advantage of it, deepening the kiss. His other hand moves, trailing up your back, fingers tangling in your damp hair giving it a soft tug. You’re sure it’s just another way he’s teasing you, testing your boundaries, but right now you couldn’t care less.

The water ripples around you, cool against the heat of his touch. Everything else—the reasons why this is a bad idea, the voice in your head telling you you should stop—fades into the background.

Right now, it’s just Billy. Just the way he tastes, like beer and smoke and something distinctly him. Just the way he holds you, like he doesn’t want to let go.

His thumb traces slow circles against your waist, and you realize how easy it would be to let yourself get lost in him.

Too easy.

Your heart pounds as reality seeps in through the cracks. What are you doing?

Billy’s hand released your hair and began trailing down your back, over your bra strap and down to your ass, giving you a firm but not painful squeeze.

Now the reality of the situation completely flooded your senses. You swiftly pulled away, your hands pressing against his chest to make a small bit of space between you two.

Billy’s eyes flick open, searching yours, and for a brief moment, something unreadable passes over his face. Surprise? Annoyance? Disappointment?

You don’t give yourself time to figure it out. You take a breath, trying to ignore the way your lips still tingle, the way your skin feels too hot despite the cool water.

“I—” You swallow hard, struggling to piece together the right words. What are the right words? You kissed him back. You wanted to. You still want to.

Billy doesn’t move, doesn’t try to pull you back in. His hands stay where they are, but his grip loosens, like he’s waiting to see what you’ll do next. Like he’s testing you. Your fingers are still pressed against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath your palms. You should say something. You should explain.

Instead, you shake your head, stepping back. “I need to get out.”

Billy watches you for a beat, his expression unreadable, then exhales sharply through his nose. “Right.” His voice is rougher than before, lower.

You don’t look at him as you swim toward the shore, your heartbeat still hammering in your ears. What the hell were you thinking? By the time you pull yourself up onto the grass, your hands are shaking. It’s just from the cold, right?

After a few moments, you hear movement behind you—Billy pulling himself onto the shore, water dripping off his muscular frame as he runs a hand through his soaked hair. You pointedly keep your back to him.

“You gonna pretend this didn’t happen?” His voice is quieter now, lacking its usual bite.

You hesitate, as you wrap your arms around yourself. You should pretend. You should walk away and never look back. You finally tune to him, his blue eyes feel like their piercing right through you.

You hold his gaze, pulse hammering in your throat. Every instinct screams at you to lie, to brush this off as nothing. But the way Billy is looking at you—like he already knows the truth, like he sees it—makes it hard to force the words out.

So you say nothing.

Billy exhales sharply through his nose, like he was expecting that answer. He shakes his head slightly, smirking, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Fine. Pretend all you want, princess.” He steps past you, beginning the walk back up to the Camaro and your clothes. “But we both know you felt that.”

You glare at his back, but you don’t argue. Because he’s right. You follow behind him. The walk back is silent and tense.

The ride back is just as quiet. The radio hums softly in the background, but neither of you speak. You sit stiffly in the passenger seat, arms crossed, still damp and shivering slightly from the air and water mixture. Billy keeps one hand on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh, his jaw clenched as he watches the road.

You steal a glance at him. He looks calm, but there’s something different. He’s tense. Not in the usual cocky, on-edge way he carries himself, but like he’s thinking. Like he’s feeling something and doesn’t know what to do with it.

You shift in your seat, focusing on the blur of streetlights passing outside the window. Your mind races, replaying everything from the quarry, from the way he kissed you to the way you didn’t stop him.

What the hell were you thinking?

By the time Billy pulls up to the trailer park, your stomach is a mess of knots. And it only gets worse as you see Eddie, who was just about to climb into the van looking at the Camaro in disbelief.

You grip the door handle, desperate to make some excuse, but Billy’s voice stops you.

“This ain’t over, you know.” He mutters, a glint in his eyes.

Your eyebrows furrow as you look at him but right now, you don’t have time. You shake your head as you step out of the Camaro and Billy follows in suit.

Eddie looked more pissed off than you’ve ever seen him. His wild curls are disheveled, his ripped Metallica shirt hanging loose off his frame, and his eyes—dark and furious—snap straight to you.

Then to Billy.

“What the fuck is this?” Eddie demands, his voice sharp as he stalks forward. His gaze flickers to your damp clothes, to Billy’s just-as-soaked shirt, and his face twists in something close to horror. “Are you kidding me?”

You open your mouth to explain—though you don’t even know how—but Billy beats you to it.

“Relax, Munson,” he drawls, smirking as he leans lazily against his car. “Nothin’ happened.”

“Oh, bullshit,” Eddie snaps. “She’s soaking wet, you’re soaking wet—what the hell am I supposed to think?”

Billy scoffs. “Maybe that we went for a swim.”

Eddie’s nostrils flare, his hands balling into fists. “You think this is funny?” He rounds on you now, voice laced with disbelief. “What were you thinking? You show up in his car, lookin’ like that, after disappearing all night?”

You don’t know what to say, or how to explain any of this. “Eddie—”

“No,” he cuts you off, pointing a shaking finger at Billy. “I told you to stay the fuck away from her.”

Billy chuckles, low and condescending. “Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, Munson?”

That does it.

Eddie lunges, grabbing Billy by the collar with both hands and yanking him forward. “You think you’re so fucking tough?” he growls, voice dangerously low. “Try me, asshole.”

Billy doesn’t hesitate. His fist slams into Eddie’s jaw, sending him stumbling back a step.

“Billy!” you gasp, instinctively reaching for Eddie, who shakes you off, wiping at the corner of his mouth where blood has already started to bead.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters, touching his jaw before glaring back up at Billy. “You really are a fucking psycho.”

Billy flexes his hand, rolling his shoulders like he’s ready to swing again. “You’re the one who grabbed me, man.”

Eddie exhales sharply, clenching and unclenching his fists like he’s debating whether to go for round two. But then he looks at you. And whatever he sees on your face—guilt, worry, something else—makes his shoulders sag slightly.

“This isn’t over,” Eddie mutters, shaking his head as he backs away toward the trailer, grabbing your arm and dragging you with him. “Not even close.”

You watch as Billy slides back into the Camaro, starts the engine, and peels out of the trailer park like he doesn’t have a single regret in the world.

You, on the other hand?

You’re drowning in them.

[majosullivan]

Nevermore Dashboard Simulator 2

🔄 many-coloured-grass reblogged

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

I don’t care what any of you are saying, I just think it is weird that people are joking that Lenore and Annabel are secretly into each other when they have shown constant distant for each other?? Go take a walk through the academy grounds

🔮 sorcery-sorcery-sorcery Follow

the fun police right here is trying to put me in gay detenion but Lenore and Annabel are blocking the way because Lenore has pinned Annabel against the wall

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

THE DEVIL HAS A CLAIM ON YOUR SOUL

#WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? #THEY CLEARLY HATE EACH OTHER #WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SAYING STUFF LIKE THIS?

8,689 notes

🎇 labyrinth-of-light Follow

[snapping out of remembering the horrific details about how I slowly suffocated under a black mass of slurry, not knowing if my siblings were alive or not, all because I smelt the scent of coal coming from the fire in the common room] oh I should have been at the club

13,477 notes

⚰️ were-all-dead-here Follow

906 notes

🔄 ghostlygal reblogged

🕯️ phantomwraith Follow

i can’t deal with this academy anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

🖤 ghostlygal Follow

Area Man Who Has "Had Enough" Wakes Up Next Morning at 7:00 AM to Get Ready to Go to Class Again

7,347 notes

🌤️ serenest-skies Follow

I don’t know if it’s just the stress from the announcement that there’s only one new life, but I SWEAR I just saw Lenore drag Annabel Lee into a closet just now

#or I have started to lose my mind #with how today ended #that seems like a much more reasonable conclusion

29 notes

🔄 spookyxskeletons reblogged angelic-oddity

☀️ angelic-oddity Follow

God I wish I was that bell

☀️ angelic-oddity Follow

THIS WAS MEANT TO BE SAVED TO DRAFTS

☀️ angelic-oddity Follow

GUYS PLEASE STOP REBLOGING THIS, ISN’T MY SHAME ENOUGH?

☀️ angelic-oddity Follow

NO YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

15,074 notes

🔄 fable-silence reblogged

🍁 fable-silence Follow

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I HAVETO GO TO CLASS AGAIN😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

🍁 fable-silence Follow

my greek chorus ^

4,832 notes

🎊 impishimpulses Follow

My roommate, who just manifested into an six foot tall ochimusha and consistently calls me dearest: All the creatures in this maze seem to desire nothing more than to suck dry any life we have remaining, i just don’t understand this academy

Me [heard “suck dry” and got so hard i got nauseous]: i think i hauve the devil in me

3,496 notes

🔄 ferocious-fiddle reblogged

🧟‍♂️ gutzngore Follow

The Deans are literally Tweedledum & Tweedledee coded because of their sinister symmetry. but whatever

🎻 ferocious-fiddle Follow

OP I know this is a joke, but just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he’ll answer.

6,660 notes

🩸 bloodstained-petals Follow

I’m never going to listen to anyone ever again that tries to give dating advice along the lines of ‘The worst thing that they can say is no :)’, bitch I just witnessed that Ada girl get insulted so throughly in public after she tried to flirt with Prospero that she literally manifested into some screeching rotten hag

#like be real with me right now

706 notes

🔄 spookyxskeletons reblogged

🪸 drenchedkelpie Follow

The whole experience with the rats in yesterday’s lesson felt like having to escape a ficious pack of bloodthirsty hunting dogs, and I was but a simple and unexpecting deer

🪸 drenchedkelpie Follow

WHAT THE SHIT

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

3,969 notes

🔄 floatinghoax reblogged

🌺 etherealdances Follow

Kill them with kindness? WRONG. Spectre attack 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

1,002 notes

🔄 deadgirlwalking reblogged namelessghoul

⚙️ the-greater-the-ass Follow

Call me Wall Street the way I. The way I just crashed onto the floor because of that fucking Hungry Ghost

⚙️ the-greater-the-ass Follow

Have y’all just. Ignored everything that has happened the past few years or are some of you just fucking with me?

🌹 blushedandbloomed Follow

Is this some kind of wide spread prank that people are doing? Me and my roommate were talking about what memories of our family we had recovered and I mentioned how badly my brother was affected by his conscription during the World War II, and my roommate just looked at me like I was speaking another language and asked me what war I was even talking about

⚙️ the-greater-the-ass Follow

I’m sorry, world war number

WHAT?

🃏 demonic-betting Follow

I’M SORRY, WORLD WARS???

🌹 blushedandbloomed Follow

🪲 goldbug1843 Follow

@blushedandbloomed you cannot just react like that without any explanation about what on earth you meant by World War II

🌹 blushedandbloomed Follow

I MEANT WORLD WAR II, AS IN THE SECOND WORLD WAR, 1ST SEPTEMBER 1939 - 2ND SEPTEMBER 1945. WHY ARE YOU GUYS REACTING LIKE THIS?

🌻 hyacinth-hair Follow

Unless you are the Oracle of Delphi, why the hell are you stating an end date for a war that’s still going on?

🌹 blushedandbloomed Follow

BECAUSE I’M NOT??? WHAT YEAR DO YOU THINK IT IS?

🌻 hyacinth-hair Follow

1942, WHAT YEAR DO YOU THINK IT IS?

🌹 blushedandbloomed Follow

1950. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK I WOULD KNOW THE YEAR THAT I DIED THANK YOU VERY MUCH

⚙️ the-greater-the-ass Follow

IT’S LITERALLY 1934???

🥀 wilted-rose Follow

🌃 eveningstar Follow

This is getting out of hand

🪵 premature-burial Follow

I DIED IN 1916, HOW ARE YOU GUYS SAYING THAT YOU WERE ALIVE AROUND TWENTY YEARS AFTER THAT WHEN I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THE WAR THAT TOOK MY LIFE IS EVEN OVER?

💤 sleepyirene Follow

LOVELY ARE YOU TELLING US THAT YOU DIED DURING WORLD WAR I?

🪵 premature-burial Follow

THAT IS WHAT YOU ALL MEAN BY WORLD WAR I???

🐸 hop-frog Follow

🌟 celestialwhispers Follow

I must be having some kind of vivid dream because there is no way this is right. In the most recent memories I currently have, the coronation of Edward VII recently occurred, and now I’m seeing people claiming that they died 1910-1950?

🌬️ loss-of-breath Follow

HOLD ON, QUEEN VICTORIA IS DEAD?!

⚙️ the-greater-the-ass Follow

🌙 voyage-to-the-moon Follow

I am going to lose my marbles

🪓 namelessghoul Follow

WHAT FECKING YEAR IS IT

🪦 deadgirlwalking Follow

56,395 notes

[ellastone-olsen]

Smoking kink with mommy Wanda.

Warnings: NSFW 18+, mommy kink, smoking obviously, shy reader, alcohol, age gap

AN: lmao guys I’m back after month of silence, I'm rested and ready to worship Lizzie and other women again.

I was just thinking about my smoking kink and a picture of you and mommy Wanda, standing on the porch of her house appeared in my head. Perhaps you just went to visit your friends and met her, perhaps it was a small neighborly gathering, but it doesn’t matter.

The main thing is that you are standing together on the porch, and there is the second glass of wine already in your hands, which she kindly offered you. She tries to light a cigarette, it seems that it was some kind of thin and menthol (such a cliché) and because of the strong wind, the weak flame of the lighter goes out every time and you move closer to her to cover it from the wind. And when the cigarette begins to smolder, you look in a trance at her lips wrapped around the filter and smell the smell of tobacco, which is instinctively associated with Wanda.

You cover your face in shame, pretending to enjoy the wine, when in fact watching her smoke was the hottest (literally lmao) sight. She says something about the terrible weather and the constant rain, but you only half listen to her as your eyes follow her hands. Behind her thin long fingers with a cigarette and you think what these fingers could do with you... And then you look up and watch how smoke comes out of her lips and Wanda’s tongue passes along her lower lip.

It seems that this smoke went straight to your head, otherwise why else can’t you think in another direction other than about obscenity with this woman.

Oh, of course, she noticed that you were mentally somewhere not here and finished her monologue about the weather and asked. "Do you want?" You didn’t immediately understand what she meant, only when you saw her handing you a cigarette. Wanda knew that you didn’t smoke, but her first guess about your reaction to her bad habit was that you were simply afraid to ask her to let you try. You looked at the smoke that rose between you both and did’t move. “I...no thanks, I don’t smoke.”

Silence followed you again and the puzzle in the older woman’s head began to take shape. “Are you sure you don’t want to?” She asked in the hope that you would think twice about it. All that came out of your mouth was a string of unintelligible stutters and then she placed her free hand on yours that was holding the glass and lowered them so she could see your red face. Wanda advanced on you, gradually pressing you into the railing until she was so close that her chest was pressed against yours. "I think you will like it." She whispered and took another drag, looking into your eyes. And then she leaned towards your lips, barely touching to exhale the bitter smoke.

Now the smoke that was in her lungs ended up in yours and the nicotine instantly entered your bloodstream, causing you even more dizziness and an attack of euphoria. Wanda's hand with the cigarette rose to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear and the woman asked another question in a whisper. “Well, dear? How do you like it?” An uncontrollable moan escaped from your mouth, giving Wanda the green light and she broke her lips on yours, immediately using her tongue inside you. The glass of wine was put aside somewhere and your hands grabbed the railing because you felt like you might fall.

Wanda took your face in her hands and kissed you so greedily, as if she were a wild animal, whispering “Good girl” between kisses and “Let Mommy do the work” which made your core throb.

She having to pull away because someone came outside looking for the two of you and she ended up smoking the rest of her cigarette like she did in the beginning; leaving you at the railing with burning cheeks and heat between your thighs.

The last thing Wanda said to you was “Go upstairs when they’re all gone, second door on the right.” She turned around and winked at you, walking into the warmth and noise of the house.

[ang3lofdivinity]

❝𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐧❞

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Relationship(s): Yan!Andy (Andrew) Graves x Fem!reader

Format: Headcanons + stories.

Genre: IMPLIED Smut + fluff + some angst(?)

Warnings: Consent mf, intimidation, SA from one of the wardens to the reader, masturbation (reader and Andy), Leyley isn't super overprotective, Reader is very naïve and too kind (they consider all friends), kidnapping, stalking, Andy is kinda turned on by the readers constant praise and nicknames for him, smoking, swearing, smut has been removed because.. the more I realize it I want this account to be decently fluff.

Andy is a very reserved person.

He's an introvert as per what his sister calls him.

And she's right.

He doesn't like being around others, he's pretty logical, he's also very calm.

But, what he doesn't know is how charming he is to others.

Hell, bunches of girls try and get with him, while Leyley obnoxiously tries to get rid of them all.

So, he's never really had a long term relationship with anyone aside his sister.

And over the years, he's managed to craft, a meticulously created one, a façade.

A mask he's worked on for years.

One that he knows will never crack.

But perhaps he got too confident.

Because when you came along, he was restraining himself practically from getting excited after the first time he saw you.

He saw you, being the new kid in class back when he was still in school at a young age before being trapped in that hellscape he called his home.

You were an extrovert it seemed, turning out to be the opposite. But, you still cared a lot about everything and everyone, you introduced yourself sweetly with something along the lines of..

"Good morning, I'm (____) (_____). If you need anything, I'll always be right here."

You were so calm, so pretty.. how could someone be so pretty?

You joined a bunch of after school activities, student council and such.

Although, you seemed a bit worried over something always every time he saw you.

He felt something within his stomach churn whenever he saw you though, not managing to gather enough courage to talk to you.

So, you had to initiate the contact.

You saw him, being all lonely..

That made you feel incredibly horrible, you were in that position yourself once too.

So, you approached him.

And his heart fluttered.

"Good evening.. you're Andrew Graves, right?" You inquired as you sat beside him at his lunch table as your friends immediately started whispering to each other.

"Oh- I- I'm Andrew Graves, yes.." he cringed at his own stuttering, but you didn't seem to mind.

"Why don't you come and sit at my table with my friends?" You invited him with a warm smile.

He felt butterflies in his stomach, a feeling he never had in a while..

"Are- you sure? They won't make fun of me?.." he asked, obviously worried.

"Of course not! If they do, we can have lunch together alone if you want!"

"..alright."

That was the day he became so clingy to you.

Usually, he's very cynical. But, for some reason with you.. he could feel that your actions were very genuine.

And that's what got him attached.

Along with your humor.

"I swear to fucking goddess if Miss Alta keeps telling me to not draw, I will—"

"Good morning, Miss Alta!" You exclaimed happily the moment your communications teacher stepped foot into the room.

He almost wheezed, letting out a giggle at his failed attempt to restrain himself. His expression turned into one filled with guilt and embarrassment, but before Miss Alta or any of the students spoke, you blurted out.

"Ah, Miss Alta, there's something wrong with the air conditioning. It keeps moving a bit and making that scraping noise." You semi-lied as you turned to Andrew and gave a more sincere smile before paying attention once more.

..you would just, lie for him like that..

Your smile could make him go crazy, it couldn't be compared to anything!! The way you cried, your tears streaming down your cheeks as you ran to him when you got hurt on the playground earlier- blue diamonds couldn't even compare to the richness of them, and the way you were very touchy..

You always held onto his hand, holding onto his shirt as you walked behind him anxiously, anytime when you got older and watched any horror movie and clang onto him.

That's when it all went to shit.

You had to leave the state.

THE STATE.

After you had just got settled after the last time where you moved here as a child!

He almost broke down, wanting to pour out all of his feelings as if it would change anything.

But it was official, and Leyley had him all to herself. It was like that for years.

He was all alone.

He felt empty.

He felt empty without you.

Like a part of his soul was torn from him.

And that stuck with him forever.

Some sort of dark, black tar over his heart made it feel disgusting and filthy.

But for the lonely part..

It wasn't like that for long.

When they grew older, he started dating someone after so long.

His (ex) girlfriend, Julia.

But eventually, that all ended when he got put into that quarantined building with Leyley.

She broke it off with him on one of those nights.

He sobbed about it, and Leyley didn't help.

But, that's when he got a strange phone call when Leyley was asleep and he was still up.

He was hesitant, but his gut told him to pick it up.

And that he did.

And that was one of the best decisions of his life.

"..Hello?" He spoke, his voice raspy. He was unsure of what telemarketer would be calling at this hour, and it couldn't possibly be someone he knew.

"Andrew?.. is this really you?!.."

That voice.. that voice instead changed his mind of this being some sort of telemarketer.. how? Because that’s your voice. After so many years, you had called him!

"..(____)?!" He yelped out, almost loud enough to wake LeyLey.

"Oh dear— I'm so glad I can hear your sweet voice again!!" You exclaimed, sounding like you were on the brink of tears.

All of those previous feelings he had for you back when you were still around, they all came back in a flurry, overwhelming him.

"(____), I'm.. how did you get this number?.." he wanted to ask you so much more, but that's all that came out at the moment.

"I heard about the quarantine you got into with your sister.. I'm so sorry. One of the wardens was kind enough to give me your number! I didn't have much time previously due to my work.. but, now I have and I'm so thankful!"

"..Good god it's so nice hearing your voice again, (____)" he mumbled, smiling as tears prickled at his eyes. There were so many words that wanted to spill out of his mouth, but nothing came out due to his own self restraint.

"I'm going to get you out of there! I promise! You and your sister!" You yelped out, happiness laced into your voice. You were zeal about this, you were going to get him and his sister out of here. Or at least try.

"Wait- aren't you worried about the wardens??? They've been keeping us here!" He responded back, biting on his thumb.

"Eh?? Nah! I'm sure! The warden seemed to like me, I'm sure I can persuade him somehow." For some reason, this didn't sit right with him..

"..." He went radio silent, this feeling akin to foreboding surging through him with the sense of anger as well. But, he swallowed down his frustration and took some deep breaths.

"Andy- Andrew?.. you there?" You tried to fix your mistake. You heard his sister call him by that nickname once- so you know it's at least somewhat gotta be sentimental for him.

"..you can call me Andy" he slowly spoke up.

"Are you sure?.."

"I'm.. sure. Call me Andy." It almost sounded like a demand..

"..Alright, Andy."

He doesn't even let his own sister call him that anymore, but he lets you do it with free reign.. strange.

"Now, would you like to talk for a bit?.. or should I get straight to work with the pla-"

"Talk!.. please. I just.. I missed you. I missed listening to your voice, I missed just being with you.." he blurted out, cutting you off. He put a hand over his mouth in response, his eyes wide and filled with shame.

"..."

"..."

"...."

"I'm sorry- that probably sounded weird.." he spoke up after a long moment of silence.

"Nono! Don't apologize, I missed hearing your voice too, hun." You spoke sweetly to him, a smile he couldn't see plastered on your face.

"..Hun?" Saying the word made him feel this warm, bubbling sensation within his chest. It made him want to indulge in it more..

"I'm not gonna use Andy all the time, darling!" You giggled happily, and that just made something within his stomach churn and twist.. something that has been dormant for years finally stir.

It made his knees go weak, his mouth go slightly agape as he failed to make any words come out of his mouth for a while until you spoke.

"..Andy? Honey?"

"Oh- sorry just.. deep in thought.”

"Ah, I get that.. well anyways, what would you like to talk about?"

You two talked until the sun finally rose and you got sleepy.

"Night Andy, Hun!" He could hear you yawn.

"Night, (____).."

He then placed the phone back down, hanging up shortly after you did as he found himself already yearning and missing your voice.

But, he knows.. better.

He just can’t help it though.

..No matter, he’ll hopefully be able to see you soon as you said.

That would be wrong though.

Because guess what? That warden that was so kind to you was only there for your looks. He wanted you to have some.. “personal time” with you if you get my gist.

“No fucking way you creep!!” You yelped out, this man was about twice your age and asking you to have some personal time with you.

“C’mon, sweetheart!.. I promise I’ll make it worth your while” The warden spoke, a sickening smile on his face.

“No means no, pervert!! Now, let me see my friends, let me get them out of here!” The warden groaned at your response.

“Alright, look here sweet-cheeks. You aren’t gonna be able to save your friends and I shouldn’t even be helping you. So, you either let me have you and you can take your friends, or I kill you right here and now” the man gave you an ultimatum, causing your eyes to widen.

“I..” You almost bursted out into tears when the man moved his hands to your shoulders, lowering your shirt.

“Lemme take care of ya.” he hummed, pushing you against the table within the break room, tears pooling down your cheeks.

You then tried focusing on something else, noticing the fact he had a ring of keys on his belt..

The warden had a hand glide up your thigh, massaging the bundle of nerves there. You tensed, straining back any noises that would come out of your mouth.

“No need to hold back, sweetheart..” he pressed himself closer to you, this was your time to strike!

You punched the man in the face, causing him to stumble back. You fixed your clothes, jumping off the table, you stared at the man who was waddling around like an idiot. A huff escaped past your lips as grabbed the nearest blunt object and flung it at the man. It was a simple lamp, but it hit him real good in the head. Honestly, you felt powerful in that moment, finding the courage to continuously punching the man, letting out every last string of anger that you felt. It was basically free therapy! And, when you were done, he was no longer moving. You grabbed the keys before you marched off, now off to find Andy and his sister, Ashley!

It took you a bit, but after knocking on a few doors, you heard nothing but some shuffling.

“Andy!! Its me! (____)!!” You yelped out, taking out the ring of keys as you fumbled with them in your hands.

“..(____)!? You actually came!?!” He spoke up after hearing your voice, immediately rushed over to the door as he heard you unlock it, opening it for you, taking you by surprise.

“Of course, hun! I never break a promise.” You spoke more dulcetly, a smile upon your face as you looked up at him.

He’s.. grown taller than you.

He spent no time dawdling as he hugged you, pressing you close to him as he twirled you around.

“I’m proud of you for waiting this long. So proud.” You praised, causing Andrew to become flustered as he desperately tried hiding it.

You paused for a moment before you started giggling a bit.

“What.. whats so funny??” He asked

“Nothing. Just reminiscing of the old times.”

“..you’re talking like a grandma.”

You bursted out laughing, patting his back.

“Oh— really now? ‘Just be a good boy and be quiet!’ Is that better??” You were giggling, since you knew your words made any sense for some Grandma to say, but he wasn’t taking this as a joke. The way you called him a good boy..

It.. turned something on for him, craving for more practically.

“Okay I think thats enough mushy reunion stuff, mm?” You smiled sweetly at the boy as he pulled away from the hug, his face still slightly flushed.

“Yeah..” he internally cursed himself for almost stuttering.

“Where’s Ashley?..” you quietly asked.

From that moment, everything happened like some sort of descending spiral of madness. The thing with the demon and Ashley… killing the second warden, all of that fancy stuff. (being horribly mortified in the end.)

You had the both of them stay in the motel for a while until you could bring them into your home as you got them necessities; paying for them to continue staying, getting them new clothes, food, entertainment and others (not even knowing about their little hobby together.)

You’d visit once a week, much to Andrews begging for you to come more often, constant thanks as well from him.

“..I don’t think we can repay you ever for this.”

You always said it was fine, and his sister did too. She seemed more laid backed about the entire situation.

And, when you rushed in the middle of the night to their motel in your car to tell them the news that you finished up your work for their rooms and such, only throwing on a long overcoat, keeping on your nightclothes and throwing one some slippers.

..but they weren’t in there.

“PSSSTTT” the sound almost made you scream, but you turned to the cause of the noise.

“Ashley!” You smiled, not speaking above a whisper.

“Get over here!!!” You immediately rushed over to her without another question, taking her into an embrace.

“Woah- calm down, goody-two-shoes!” She grumbled, trying to get you to let go or at least loosen your arms that were tightly wrapped around her.

“You and Andrew can finally come over!!” You practically cried out, a bright smile on your face.

“..Where is Andrew..?” You questioned after surveying around, letting go of the embrace you tightly held Ashley in.

“Went to go and check on something.. don’t worry about it.”

“..Alright. I’ll wait here if you don’t mind.” You quietly spoke, standing beside Ashley as your hand subconsciously grabbed hers, intertwining them.

And Ashley didn’t say anything about it. Just to see how her brother would react, of course.

That didn’t go well, let me tell you.

He came back, noticing you, he was so excited like a puppy seeing their owner once more, but noticing that you were holding Ashleys hand..

..For some reason it made him pissed off.

“..(____), why don’t you hold my hand instead?”

You were already starting in his direction to tackle him into a hug, but Ashley pulled you back.

“Nah.. I think she’ll stay right here, holding my hand.”

“Ashley.”

“Yes, dear Andyyyy?”

“Let her go. Right now.”

“Mm, nah.” She chuckled seeing him get so riled up.

He flat up walked on over to you two, grabbed you by the waist, swiftly pulling you away from Ashley.

“Oh you jackass!!!”

But he didn’t care.

And then, you all heard another car..

Thats when everything else unfolded.

They killed that man..

And you witnessed it.

Then again though, he was a murderer as well..

..but why??

You were shaking like a leaf, catching Andy’s attention.

“Shh shh.. its okay. Theres no need to cry or worry, alright? It was in self-defense. I promise this won’t happen again.” He consoled you, hugging you closely as you nodded.

Ashley looked baffled though, one of her eyes slightly twitching.

..guess they’ll just have to not kill in front of you from now on.

Well, moving on from this..

You had made some fake ID’s for them (made by another friend of yours, of course) along with some birth certificates, you just wanted to help them get on their feet again.

That would.. slightly backfire.

No matter what, he became so obsessed with you, he started stalking you, watching you do anything around the house. When you’d turn to see if anyone was watching, no-one was there..

You brushed it off multiple times, but even when you were in the shower, or changing, you felt the same feeling. It was all.. unnerving. You hated it. You wanted it to stop.

But, it continued and continued, and it got to the point where you started asking Andrew if you could sleep with him for the night, to which he immediately accepted; surprising you.

You got into his bed, him pulling the covers over you despite the fact you already had a blanket with you.. but that was fine. You rested your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your lower back, pressing you closer to him.

And strangely, it seemed like all of the eyes that were previously watching you were gone. You could finally drift off to sleep, where Ashley would make fun of you both each time, but stopped suddenly after a bit..

But you shrugged it off as she was just bored of the joke now that you have cuddled with Andrew so many times now just for you to feel safer within your own home!

Little did you know that the person you were cuddling with was the one watching you all along..

His fingers threaded through your hair, humming ever so softly. He kissed the crown of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, and then eventually, your lips. You tasted sweet to him, sweet like nothing he’d ever tasted before in contrast to his usual taste of mint and cigarettes within his mouth.

He wanted more of it..

He then continued kissing your lips, now making out with your unconscious body, taking breaks in between to undress you from your nightclothes, underwear, and so forth.

In your sleep, you felt something.. swishing within your mouth. It was warm, tasting everything within your mouth almost, like it was trying to claim it!

You slowly awoke very sadly since you couldn’t get your beauty rest, trying to find the cause, just to see it was Andy. The person you were so close with. You instinctively pushed him away, or tried.

As much as you wanted to- you couldn’t hurt him. What would be everything you went for then? What would Ashley do?? You’d have to live with the guilt of possibly hurting one of your friends.

..is he even your friend anymore?

He took notice of that, opening his eyes instantaneously as he felt your touch. He pulled away for a moment, examining your expression.

The room was silent, the atmosphere was palpable as he turned to an emotionless face. He moved you closer to him.

“Andy!?” You yelped out as your body became tense.

“..Shit— shit, no, fuck, i’m so sorry. This is wrong-“ Andrew pushed himself away, getting up and threading his hands through his hair. His eyes were wide as he realized what he’d done.

“..Andrew, why??..”

“I’m sorry- that was disgusting- I’m sorry!..”

Your facial expression was bewildered, but you eventually just frowned and grabbed his arm (which was shaking.)

“Andrew, you should’ve asked me first so I could’ve consented. Especially if you have some sort of som—“

“Wait!.. how are you so calm?!” You really aren’t.

“..I’m not. But I would’ve just want some more information- some sort of talk about this entire situation before we could do anything.” Caressing his hand, you smiled softly, and he simply just stared at you for at least 5 seconds straight.

Consent talk?

Consent talk!!

He gave a long ass apology for his actions, immediately about to just get up and leave.

But you stopped him to talk further talked about the situation. You talked about what you really wanted.

And if you both were ready.

Even though all of this didn’t happen throughout one entire night, you planned everything out. What you two were going to do.

If you wanted a relationship.

Or just a situationship.

You both decided to test the waters first before deciding that.

You need to get out. Leave.

What are you doing?

Please, go.

He’ll kill you too.

You couldn’t fall asleep after everything that happened, so he ran a bath for you and him, washing you both.

After that though, he dressed you in some more comfortable clothes for the afternoon it seemed despite being early morning now.

He had you sit in his lap, smoking (trying to get you to smoke as well), tending to your wounds.

And that’s when Ashley came to you both later within the morning, groaning.

“Why was there so much noise in the night?.. could barely sleep..”

Safe to say, you gave a.. believable excuse

Wow- theres a lot here! But, I hope you all enjoyed!!

[xjulixred45x]

Hi! Could I ask for some yandere headcanons for Adam's family and a human daughter reader? Please and thank you 💜

Alright!

Platonic!Yandere! Adam/Eve/Caín and Abel x Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: Yandere content, Yandere behaviors, Platonic yandere, yandere behaviors, unhealty mindset, mentions of being an still born and it's consecuences, overprotection.

Adam

• I think that Adam's obsession with his daughter's safety would be affected if she had had a particularly complicated birth, after all, it was his third baby, it was supposed to be something easy after Abel and Cain, but that didn't stop the reader's life from being in danger multiple times.

• When the reader was finally born, she was small and fragile, she was born prematurely, and she needed constant care, something that her family was more than willing to provide.

• Adam is obviously the most overprotective with his first daughter, in general the world outside of Eden is very dangerous, he has to take care of all the members of his family. Obviously including the new acquisition.

• Since the reader was born, Adam had a certain favoritism, precisely because the little girl had a great resemblance to Eve, her eyes, her hair, her laugh, which also leads him to be more indulgent with her.

• Adam is against the idea of any of his children feeling left out, so he makes sure that Cain and Abel interact with Reader. Very carefully, though, after all, their sister is VERY fragile, get it?

• He enjoys the stage where Reader is a baby, being able to hold her, play with her, make her laugh with funny faces, in general he enjoys the time when Reader is a pure and innocent being, not knowing the cruelty of the outside world.

• Adam, as I said, is very overprotective of his daughter, more so as she grows and begins to learn things, like walking, how to talk, what she can and cannot eat, etc.

• Adam is always a few steps behind his daughter, just to make sure she is taking a “safe approach,” and there is no way to escape or sneak away, not with the divine reflection on his side.

• Adam is very patient with his children, especially when reader starts some kind of rebellious phase, he understands it, we all have a moment like that (after all, it's thanks to this that they were born), however, the primordial man will not let his daughter put herself in danger.

• For example, he will not let her go somewhere where the gods are. This may be the most rational of all, considering his past with them and the role they played in banishing Eve. That is something reader can understand and respect.

• What she cannot respect is that Adam even restricts her interactions with other humans! even scaring them so they don't talk to her! that is just unfair!

• Although we agree that talking to Adam about it is like talking to a wall, it is impossible to move. He believes that everyone is a potential enemy, that everyone can harm his family, especially his little girl.

• Adam is one of those Yandere parents who thinks their kids can do absolutely nothing wrong, no matter if the evidence is right in front of them (whether they try to run away, tell them they hate them or insult them, be a bad person, etc.). Nope, his babies are ANGELS.

• And even more importantly, he's the kind of Yandere parent you can never get rid of, no matter if you try to be more independent once you're in Valhalla, you'll never be too far from Daddy Adam. Good luck.

Eve

• Eve was the most affected by Reader's birth obviously, not only physically but mentally.

• She had never had a birth as painful as Reader's, not even with Cain, which definitely made her so exhausted when Reader was actually born, that she couldn't even hold her.

• A part of Eve was so scared that Reader would die, because the pain was so bad (and she didn't want to imagine if Reader was going through the same pain), praying to any god that would hear her not to let her baby die, being so relieved when she heard her cry for the first time.

• It was only a few days later that Eve was recovered enough to hold her daughter, it was the first time she saw a girl (she had already seen other babies with Abel and Cain, but this was totally different), and she was the most precious creature in the world.

• Eve is much less invasive, she is overprotective, yes, but she wants her daughter to grow up, she wants her beautiful offspring to become a full-fledged wild flower.

• For this reason, she is Reader's greatest ally when it comes to calming Adán's insecurities, she is the only person he will really listen to, who will pay attention to over his children. She can either distract him long enough for Reader and her siblings to sneak away or she can directly convince him to tone down some of his tendencies.

• That doesn't mean that Eve herself doesn't have unhealthy tendencies regarding her children, she just knows how to control herself better.

• She collects absolutely everything that children leave behind when they grow up, be it toys, clothes, probably even teeth when they start to fall out.

• She is also very dramatic when Reader gets sick, constantly bringing her homemade food and medicine, crying at her bedside, begging her not to die, to the point where Cain and Abel have to drag her out of the room.

• Eve is also somewhat possessive, she likes to spend a lot of time with Reader, and will automatically be bitter for the rest of the day if anyone (other than Adam or her sons) decides to interrupt said “quality” time between mother and daughter.

• She excuses this as “since Adam and the boys have the right to have boy time, they also deserve girl time” but it is just an excuse to have more time with her daughter just for herself.

• She loves to talk to Reader like she is a baby, generally spoiling her a lot, but she doesn’t realize much of the time that this can make her feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? From her family? Who put those ideas in her head?!?

• She is also very quick to make assumptions. As you can see…

• Fortunately, she is much more naive than Adam, so if you play your cards right, she can be your greatest ally when it comes to having your alone time or getting away from this crazy family for a while.

Caín and Abel

These two share a braincell i swear

• THESE TWO ARE THE EPITOME OF NOSY BROTHERS.

• But really.

• I feel like initially, they were both very excited to have a younger sister, having been just the two of them for quite a while, a new companion wouldn't hurt at all.

• However, when the time came and reader wasn't born, causing Eve great pain, the brothers started to get very scared. This was something new, and something they didn't like, their mother was suffering a lot. When was this going to stop?

• When reader was finally born and Eve was laid up for several days, both Abel and Cain acted like they were standing around eggshells, thinking that the baby would put them through great pain like it did with their mother.

• Fortunately, they were scolded by Adam for even thinking that, and he made Cain hold his sister for the first time (even if he was shaky).

• And you can imagine his surprise when he felt absolutely no pain, just something heavy and warm on his chest. Looking at him curiously.

• After verifying that the baby did not cause them any pain, it became a tug of war to see who was still holding her between the two, but at least the issue of rejection towards reader was resolved, perhaps too well.

• Cain and Abel tried in many ways to become reader's favorites while she was growing up, whether it was playing with her, bringing her nice things, but above all protecting her.

• They act very similar to their father in many ways, they are overprotective to an unhealthy degree, wanting to prevent reader from doing this or that, preventing her from stepping in puddles of mud or water because “she could get sick”, going so far as to accuse her to Adam if she did something “dangerous”.

• This created a love-hate relationship between the brothers and sister, on one hand Cain and Abel would do anything for her (except give her absolute freedom. Who needs that with a family that does everything for you? Silly), while the reader didn't see them any differently than an inmate sees his prison guard.

• Fortunately, just as they resemble their father, they also inherited several aspects from their mother.

• Both are very needy of the reader's approval, as I said before, they would do ANYTHING for her.

• If the reader uses words well, she can make them, involuntarily, help her escape more than once (or simply accept certain conditions like her having friends/partners), either by asking them for things or some objects, in exchange for being her “favorite brother”

• And they fall right into her trap. But that doesn't matter, even if they eventually realize that their sister is only using them for her own benefit, to do things that their father doesn't approve of and that distress their mother, they don't care.

• All that matters is that she is happy because of them, even if they receive some punishment, they are okay with it, they would endure it all over again, all to see their sister happy.

• If that's how things are, they will play along. For her.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Eleven

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Hey, eleven is here!! I can't actually believe it, thank you for all the love on this series! Means a whole lot. Glad to know some of you are enjoying it, love seeing the reactions too:) This update is another long one but we're getting closer to things finally falling into place!

Just a note for this part though, I haven't been to Detroit, nor the place mentioned in this particular chapter so pls don't come for me if anythings wrong! I tried not to go into too much detail and focus on a couple of pictures I found, but lemme know if anything really jumps out.

Also, we finally a Marshall POV, so hope you enjoy!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

Masterlist

Marshall’s POV

It was maddening. 

The way this woman had gone and switched up his entire life whilst somehow managing to keep everything looking the exact same. As though nothing but her presence had been added, and like nothing had really changed. 

At least not to the unaided eye. 

His mind had been in a tailspin from the second he’d first seen her though, that much he knew. The video of her had knocked him sideways, thrown him so completely out of whack that he couldn’t quite tell if he’d been righted ever since. But it had taken a while for that realisation to set in. 

It had dawned, obviously. He was nothing if not fucking perceptive. His brain wired so oddly that it had him realising shit before most people. But more importantly, it had his constant stream of self-awareness shooting through the roof. 

That in itself was an itch he never could quite scratch, had pissed him off a whole lot growing up too– especially the way he had. It’d gone and really messed with his head in actuality and so the older he’d gotten the more he had started to use all sorts of crap to just find a simple way to tune it out. To dull the constant tick-tick-ticking of his brain. To cope with the never ending thoughts. 

But then he’d gotten sober, hadn't he? And he’d been forced to fucking feel again. To psychoanalyse the years he’d lost, the pain he’d caused. 

It hadn’t been pretty, and yet, he was still standing. Still moving as he attempted to continue putting that same amount of effort into everything else that had been thrown at him ever since.

Her though–

Marshall’s tongue rolled out between his lips thoughtlessly, eyes caught on the studio wall ahead. She was something he hadn’t never prepared for. 

He kept finding himself telling her these– things. Inane shit, like how he preferred running to the gym and candy over fucking chocolate. But then it shifted and he found himself letting slip about the kind of crap that he hardly even let himself linger too long on. Like, Ayla. 

That girl was his world. Stood there right there alongside Z, but he knew he’d messed her up almost as bad as both her parents had. When he hadn’t been able to get his fucking shit together, when she’d be forced to see him at his worst, his lowest. Unable to do nothing but watch. ‘Cause she’d just been a kid then. And he knew that sentiment all too well, had lived through it too. He hadn’t never wanted his own kids to have to go through that, to see the struggle, to experience it and feel that same pain. 

It was the sort of pain that was truly unlike any other and he’d lived too long to not know that by now.

But he’d changed since then and he’d done it all for her. He hadn’t looked back neither, no matter how hard it had gotten, how much he had wanted to quit. ‘Cause he hadn’t wanted his girls to see him that way no longer. To have them stand by and have them do nothing but watch. To have to prepare them for the worst. To have them lose him too. All because he hadn’t been able to just pick them over the one thing he’d abused most. 

Elia. She hadn’t asked. Hadn’t even attempted to worm her way into his head and prod him for all these secrets he held like he was just some piñata and they were the candy inside waiting to spew out. No, he’d given them all to her. Freely. Almost without question. And that there was what scared him most. What fucked him up and messed with his head.

‘Cause that was where he’d gone wrong before, the first dozen times around. Trusting these women with their pretty smiles that hid their deceitful tongues and sugar coated their lies.

It was then that his mind flashed back to late nights years ago that he thought he’d long lost, to blonde hair and smudged lipstick. To some other girl’s bed, her dark eyes and keys to motel rooms. To Vegas and then Nevada, California and New York.

It was with those thoughts that he felt himself frown and raised a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose, wondering why he let himself get so caught up in the past, why he was now allowing himself to think about her the same way he had them. 

They were friends. 

She was here to work.

But that grating voice was in the back of his head again, questioning his fucking questions. His motives. Prodding at his every decision. It knew that he was full of shit. And he knew it too. Didn’t mean he had to like it though. Or admit it.

He scraped his tongue between his front teeth and revelled for a moment in the slight sting which followed, the tiny bumps that arose soon after. Then he huffed. 

She was a question in her own right. That was exactly what she was. He couldn't quite tell what that meant for him though as he found himself picking up his pen for the umpteenth time that night. All he knew was that this shit he’d written was as close to a fucking love song as he would ever fucking get, and he couldn’t stop picturing her the further and further the page got to being completely covered.

What he did know for certain, something he was evidently sure of, was that he was completely and utterly fucked. And it was all down to her.

––––––––––––––––

A knock startled me from the mindless state I’d fallen into whilst sat at the mirror, desk scattered with brushes and makeup alike, and so I only had a split second before the door to my room flew open, allowing a certain blonde to come sailing through, hair in disarray and socks mismatched. 

“Dad’s late!”

I blinked at the whirlwind that was Rosie before a laugh seemed to escape me, and I turned around in the chair just in time to watch the girl faceplant my freshly made sheets. “What do you mean?” I asked her, pushing myself to my feet and wincing at the noise my knees made– I would say that getting old sucked but my knees had been my biggest hater since before my early twenties hit. 

Rosie heaved a dramatic sigh as she manoeuvred around so that she could prop herself up on her elbows and meet my eye, none the wiser to my inner thoughts. “I went downstairs and he wasn’t there, right? But he’s always up and in the kitchen by now, guy drinks too much coffee if you ask me.” She explained, shaking her head at that last part whilst I rounded the bed to peer down at her with a bemused expression, hip pressing against the bedpost, “Anyway, I waited, figuring that he was just, I don’t know, peeing or something. But then I realised I was slowly starving and so I went to look for him.” 

My brows rose at the theatrics as well as the look she’d taken on, but did little to hide my mirthful smirk, “So I’m guessing you found him then?”

“Yup.” She replied with a pop, smiling sweetly, “He’s late.”

“Right.” I snorted, settling my hands on my hips, “That mean he’s up at least?”

The question earned me a somewhat evil grin, one that was far too prideful and full of amusement that it couldn’t have meant anything else. I shook my head at her antics but was unable to help the light chuckle that bubbled up my throat, the sound only seemed to fuel the chaotic energy she’d bounded in with. 

“Can we do something cool with my hair today?” Rosie wondered as she pushed upwards and bounced ever so slightly into a sitting position on the edge of the mattress. I was reminded then quite hastily of the conversation Marshall and I had shared the night before when she peered up at me with such an unfiltered expression of excitement. 

I didn’t dare let her down.

So I’d allowed the mini madam to drag me back over to the dressing table I’d just been using and procure me with an array of hair bands, clips, bows, and brushes that she’d brought in with her but left by the door. She ended up talking throughout the whole process, happy to let me work whilst she let slip about the candy bar she’d found to stave herself over with before she’d gone in search of her Dad– something which made complete sense now, given her mood. Afterwards, she then decided that it was an ample time to ask me a thousand and one questions, most of which I tried to answer as best as I could. 

Marshall eventually found the pair of us, still bleary eyed from where he’d been woken only a short while earlier but hair damp enough to note that he’d hurried through his usual morning routine, that and the fact that he’d come in smelling exceptionally pleasant. 

He paused in the door that had since been left open, his stare caught on my languid movements whilst I finished winding the remaining plait I’d started into one of the two space buns which sat atop of his daughter’s head. 

Rosie had yet to notice him, still rambling away so I shot the man an amused smile.

“Heard you had a lie in.” I found myself commenting once I’d snapped the last hair band into place, just in time too, because it was not a second later that Rosie’s head went jolting in the direction of the doorway.

“You’re up!” She exclaimed, exuding her elation in the grin she gave him. 

Full of fondness, Em still let out a scoff as his arms rose to cross over the expanse of his chest, a mindless action that brought me to note the form fitting tee he’d decided on that morning, a total contrast to the large hoodies I was so used to seeing him in. I couldn’t lie to myself about the way my attention caught on his forearms upon seeing it, the tattoos there, the few freckles, the vein that ran down the outer side and across his hand–

My head snapped left when a squeal sounded, dragging my traitorous eyes away from the man and instead to his daughter, who was now beaming in the mirror. My smile wasn’t forced upon witnessing her reaction, even with the freight train full of thoughts that was now rumbling its way around inside my head, and so I wasn’t all too ungrateful for the distraction of the brilliant grin she gifted me with before she was in my arms and hugging me in thanks.

“I love it,” She forced out in one giant breath, before tacking on, “Ana’s going to be so jealous!”

My gaze trailed its way back over to Em, who was looking pensive by the door, he smiled when his eyes flickered up to meet my own. “Looks real good, baby.” He murmured to her, the acknowledgement garnering an even brighter reaction from Rosie, who’s head turned to him at the sound of his voice.

“You like it?” She asked in that way that only daughters could, her eyes full of hope and all puppy-like.

Marshall’s mouth ticked upwards at the sight and he blinked slowly before answering the girl, “You look beautiful.”

Rosie was more than grateful for that answer, not just because it was a nice thing to hear, especially when trying something new, but because it was her Dad who had been the one to say it. She bolted across the room to fall into his side, only ducking away again when one of his hands threatened to come up and settle on the back of her head.

“Watch the hair!”

I laughed brightly at the squeak whilst she ducked under his arm to escape, levelling him with a narrow-eyed glare from the hallway, shaking her head at him. Marshall expelled a long sigh and raised his hands in a show of apology, but Rosie appeared exasperated by him all the same. She still smiled though before she shot off back down the stairs, calling out the reminder of breakfast to him.

Marshall pivoted in his stance, his tired eyes sweeping away from the hall to find me putting away all the few hair bobbles that I hadn’t needed. “I’m raisin’ a prima donna.”

Snorting at the analysis he’d since come to, I shot him a sly smile, “Hear it runs in families.”

I was met by a roll of his eyes, but the smirk he wore was evident. “I own it.” He acknowledged with not an ounce of embarrassment. 

So I dragged out a low hum whilst closing the dresser’s only drawer before I turned to him once again and made my way over. The pair of us exited the room together, Marshall shutting the door behind me before he ran a hand over the top of his head and gestured for us to start down the stairs.

It was as we reached the bottom that he chose to speak up, clearing his throat before he did, “Thanks by the way, for you know. Doin’ her hair and stuff for her. I know you said you would but, she ain’t the only one who appreciates it. You know?”

Glancing his way, my smile couldn’t be helped, not with how unsure and awkward he then looked. A total contrast to the ego he’d radiated not a minute earlier. It wasn’t something I was too used to seeing on Marshall and so it humoured me to no end. 

“I know.” I answered, choosing not to comment on his antsy-ness or the way tense shoulders then slumped a tad, “One less thing to fret about, right? Seein’ as you were snoozing whilst the rest of us were up and prepping for the day.”

Marshall didn’t appear to mind the slight ribbing, or at least I thought so until hip-checked me in the hallway whilst we were wandering after Rosie, the hit just hard enough to have me bumping into the nearby wall. My jaw dropped at the unexpected reaction but was still somehow delighted to hear his laugh trail back to me, watching the way his face lit up as he looked back at me from over his shoulder. 

“You were sayin’?” He mocked around a smug smile.

My glare was counterproductive, seeing as I was huffing out a faint laugh whilst simultaneously trying to right myself before I hurried to catch up to him, only managing to do so a second after he’d swept into the kitchen.

“Hey, seeing as it’s Friday tomorrow, can we take El out again?” Came Rosie’s voice, the sound of it drawing my attention over to where she was now pouring a bowl of cereal. Her eyes were stuck on the task at hand but they flickered up to where Em was standing by the fridge whilst she waited for an answer.

Marshall’s own gaze wandered over to me for a split second, roaming over my face before his attention jumped to the milk he had grasped. “Up to her, Z.”

And that, my friends, was an exuberant yes in the jam-packed book that cited Marshall’s lexicon.

“What d’you have in mind?” I wondered as I made my way past the girl to fill up the kettle that had since settled into its very own spot on the kitchen side.

“Some food, a movie maybe?” Z delicately suggested, eyes jumping over to Marshall again, the man slid the milk carton he held into her hand, before they moved to meet mine. 

Shrugging softly, I smiled at the idea, reminded of days I’d spent in the cinema near the old flat we’d lived in, the same one I’d snuck into countless times as a kid and then had taken Danny and Lottie to whenever home had gotten too much to handle. “Sounds good to me, your Dad has the last say though.” I quickly reminded her after seeing the way her face had lit up.

“Can we, Dad?” Rosie asked excitedly, her voice full of elated anticipation, practically bouncing in her seat as she waited for the final yes.

Em exhaled, his blue eyes trailing between Z and I, allowing me to notice how the morning sun caused them to appear almost transparent in the light of the kitchen. But it was all for show, because it was too obvious what his answer was going to be. 

“Sounds like a plan, kiddo.”

Hiding my triumphant grin, I turned back to the whistling kettle and filled two mugs, not even second guessing the action.

…

Messages  To: Lottiebug 🐞 Heya bug, msg me when you get out of school, wanna hear about your day! xX

…

Even with Marshall waking up late and Rosie’s evident sugar rush, the school run hadn’t been as chaotic as I’d expected it to be. We managed to make it there in time, in fact we had just a minute to spare which Rosie used to lean over the centre console wedged between the two front seats so that she could give Marshall and I a goodbye.

“See you guys after school.” She grinned whilst letting her Dad wrap an arm awkwardly around her shoulders so that he could press a kiss to her temple. She withdrew a tad from him afterwards, his hand shucking her chin in a gesture that was all too familiar, and then turned to mimic the previous action on me, a quick peck to my left cheek before she was falling back into the rear seat and opening the passenger side door. 

The action startled me enough that I could only watch her grin grow from where she then settled on the pavement outside, waving the two of us goodbye through the window before she bolted up the school steps.

I watched on, dazed but filled with a heavy warmth as she disappeared from view.

It was when I’d finally managed to drag my eyes away from the stone stairs that Marshall broke the quiet that had filled the car with an exaggerated “Ooohh.” 

There was a shit-eating grin plastered over the lower half of his face, the biggest he’d ever given me and it only added to the mix of emotions I was experiencing. “How’s that feel? You done levelled up!” He prompted, clapping his hands as a laugh expelled from him, thoroughly amused by my stunned reaction.

I blinked, but then found myself chuckling along with him, smiling widely as I attempted a little bow, only made awkward by the strap of my seatbelt. Em enjoyed it all the same though, especially when I replied to his dramatics with some of my own, “No, no! You’ve gotta take a picture real quick, this feels like a monumental moment.” Half joking, half serious.

He was quick with his phone anyway, pulling it out and flicking to the camera app so fast that it surprised me, what with being so used to his common annoyance with all things technology. He was still grinning away as he raised the phone a little higher and it took me a second to realise he was filming me instead of taking the picture I’d asked for.

“How you feel?” Marshall asked, his voice still buoyant, the smile he wore evident in it. It just melted me further, in truth. To know how happy his daughter's action had made not just me, but him too. 

“Loved.” I smiled back at him, eyes squinting with the strength of it as I peered into the lens.

“Someone alert the media!” Em crowed, the sound thoughtless and open, before he was leaning in over the console, wanting to get a close up of the cheek in question. I was blinded by the smile he still wore, catching glimpses of it behind his phone and arm, “You ever gone wash that shit again?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me in return before I closed my eyes and flicked my hair over my shoulder. “I wouldn’t dare! This has to top my night at the Grammys.” I overemphasised for the sake of the camera, glancing back at Marshall a second later so that we could both share another grin, him lowering the camera ever so slightly so that he could spin it back ‘round on him.

“Well, you heard it here first, folks. Tune in later to see if Z will up the ante!” He cheesed, putting on a voice that had me giggling harder before he was pausing the video and peering back at me with a sincere grin. 

“You one lucky girl, I swear.” He mentioned to me in a murmur, shaking his head whilst I dragged my own phone out of my coat pocket, raising it to capture my own version of the moment. “What you doin’?” He questioned me once he spotted it, but I had already pulled up Snapchat to zoom in and capture a quick photo. 

Em watched on as my thumbs typed away, writing a quick ‘Never washing this cheek again #Priorities’ over the top of the picture before saving it to my camera roll. It was just as I went to click off the app completely that he stopped me.

“You not gone post that?”

I turned to him with a look of bewilderment, eyes wide and eyebrows practically touching my hairline. “Are you crazy? That’ll spark all sorts of rumours.”

He just snorted, then levelled me with a simple shrug, cheek lolling against the headrest. “Fuck ‘em.”

It took me a moment to realise that he was being deadly serious. 

In reply to the silence he’d been met with, Marshall merely quirked a brow at me, almost as if he was challenging it. Daring me to follow through.

I stared at him for a long second before I let my thumb hover over the ‘Send to’ button, giving him the time needed to take it back. But he didn’t.

Thinking it over, I figured the most people could come up with ammo like this was that I’d likely been kissed or was just messing around with a friend about something, which wasn’t all that unusual for me, in truth. I had taken to posting all of the weird shit I saw when I was out every once in a while, as well as the odd picture with Lottie or a friend. So I didn’t think people would put too much thought into it.

Besides, I’d never been the type to back down from a challenge, so I added it to my story as quick as I could and then clicked the phone off entirely.

I tried to bite back the strength of my grin when I looked back over at him, but it truly was hard going, what with the way Em had given up on hiding his own. Still, I watched on as he put the car into gear and relaxed further into my seat as we pulled away from the curb, trying not to pay mind to the excitement which fluttered in my stomach.

“So where we headed?” I wondered after a minute or so, the radio playing low, Marshall nodding his head along to it.

He turned to spare me a glance, smirking now. “Tour of Detroit, baby.”

My brow furrowed on its own accord, thoroughly confused, and Marshall must have been able to read my mind because he let go of a breathy chuckle before he explained further.

“Gotta show you the whole city whilst you're here, right? I mean, you seen where I grew up, but there’s a whole lot more. Figure you’d appreciate it.”

Eyes wide, I felt my mouth drop open a tad and a flash of panic shoot through me. “You’re serious? We’ll get spotted quicker than a priest in a playground!”

My words were met by a short snort before Marshall shook his head, deigning not to touch upon that particular phrasing. “Came prepared.”

“Oh really?” I challenged. 

His mouth quirked to one side, deepening the dimple which sat adjacent to it. My eyes latched onto the small detail and before I knew it we were pulling off into a lot a couple of blocks away from Rosie’s school. 

Once the car had come to a stop, Em was quick to hop out so that he could make his way to the boot. He pulled something or other out, before he closed it once more and jogged back around to the driver's side door. He slipped inside with ease, carrying an array of items in his arms. I noted that he really had come prepared.

In his lap sat three hats and a hoodie. I guessed that he wanted to give me my pick of the lot and I wasn’t let down in the assumption, he handed me the hoodie first, one that felt as luxurious as it looked, and I peered down at it cautiously, but didn’t fight putting it on. 

“Don’t tell me how much this hoodie costs because if I ruin it, then that’s on you.” I told him bluntly as I peeled my coat off and pulled my head through the hoods opening. He snorted in retort and it was only when I’d rolled my hands through the sleeves that he reached out to drag the strings of the jumper into place, smiling at me in a way that made my mouth go dry. 

“Live a little.” Were the words he settled on before his attention shifted back down to the three hats he held, my eyes scanned over them.

“As much as I think the beanie suits you, you’ve gotta go with a cap to cover up all this.” I told him honestly, waving my hand over the expanse of his money-maker before I reached out to take the red and blue beanie. 

“What’s that ‘sposed to mean?” Em asked and I realised a second too late how teasing his tone had been.

“You know, the cap will help–”

“No, no, no, you know I was talkin’ ‘bout the beanie.” He reaffirmed, smile sly as he turned to use it on me.

I blinked, thinking back on what I’d said before it hit me. I felt myself flush a tad, but did my best to brush the comment off like it was nothing, “You look good in a beanie, is all. Most people do.”

Marshall blew out another laugh, it almost seemed to fill the car, even more so as he leaned an arm against the centre console to lessen the space between us. “This your way of sayin’ you’re hot on me then?”

I scowled, reaching out to press my palm against the side of his cheek so that I could push his smirking face away. “You wish.”

He snorted, eyeing the way I pulled down the car’s interior mirror so that I could fit the beanie to my head. When I turned back towards him, I was surprised to catch him already staring. He didn’t look perturbed by it though, no, he simply smirked, “Beanie suits you, too.”

Thankfully, he left it at that, picking up one of the remaining caps and placing it on his own head before he tossed the last of the three into the back. It was as he resettled in his seat that I found myself moving to fix the cap’s brim, tugging it a millimetre or so lower and centring it so that the Lion’s logo faced frontwards. 

My breath caught when I finally registered what I’d done so mindlessly, but Marshall didn’t appear to have minded it, watching me as I withdrew, his eyes caught on mine for a long second before he finally broke the moment, “Thanks.”

I cleared my throat and forced my gaze into looking out the front window, only nodding in answer. He started up the car again and it was as we set off that I struggled to find a new topic to break the quiet with. 

It wasn’t awkward, this quiet. Just prolonged, filled with an energy I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I didn’t know if Marshall even felt it but as soon as I spoke, I was grateful to feel it ebb. “You know, I love American cars.”

A line formed in the skin between Em’s brows when he chanced a quick look at me, “How come?” He wondered and it was with his words that I felt the rest of my body relax once more into the comfort of his leather seats.

Still, I shrugged lightly, gaze wandering over the car’s interior before it shifted out over the long stretch of road we’d since pulled onto, eyes jumping between the other vehicles that surrounded us. “Just bigger, used to dream about driving one of those old Fords when I were a kid.” I explained, thinking back to the ones I’d seen on the tele. “You know, they used to drive them in those older films, back in the 80’s and stuff.”

“What, like a Bronco?”

“No– well actually, those would be sick as well.” I mentioned, thinking about it before I gently shook my head, “But you know, one of those old four by fours? The big ones you see a lot of country boys driving.”

Em’s smile twitched in good humour when he shot me a knowing look, “Ah, so she’s inta dem country boys.”

I rolled my eyes, exasperated by the accent he’d slathered on but laughing still. “No, you idiot. I just like the trucks!” But then I had to pause and actually think about it, “Now you mention it though, those country boys weren’t all that bad to look at either.”

Marshall snorted, then hummed, “You know, I’m originally from cow country. Midwest way.”

Pensive, I let my gaze roam back towards him. “I figured you’d always lived here.”

He just shook his head, looking in his mirror before he switched lanes, “Moved when I was a kid, but was born in Missouri if you can believe that shit.”

I was unable to help my smile, oddly surprised to know that small fact about him. I shifted slightly in my seat to look him over better, almost as though now that I knew of the detail I’d actually be able to see it in him. 

“I don’t know much about it.” I admitted once nothing about him really changed or jumped out at me, “Is it like farmy?”

Shaking his head, he rolled his eyes again, though I could tell that it was in fond amusement rather than anything else. “It’s like any state, idiot. There’s cities, but yeah some fields too.”

Humming, I tried to picture him in some place like that. As much as Em fit into the life and soul that clung to Detroit and its streets, I could easily see him settling into a quaint house out by a bayou, miles away from any prying eyes and noise. 

“What’s the hum for?” He wondered, eyes trying to analyse the sound by the tells my face gave away.

I shot him a smile, “Nothing.”

He didn’t believe me, not for a second, but let it go seeing as we had pulled into a parking lot. I sat up further to look around, trying to spot a clue as to where we were at, my eyes widened when I found it. 

Belle Isle Aquarium.

I honestly attempted to not look too excited by the sudden prospect, but I’m not sure I managed it all that well. There was a time, when I’d still been little enough to not know any better, that I thought I could grow up to be a deep-sea diver, so fascinated by the ocean and its entirety. At break time, I would read all the books the school’s library had to offer on the sea and its many creatures, overwhelmed by the fact that it was so large and deep that we had only ever really touched the surface, that there was still so much there left to discover. 

I didn’t ever really mention it nowadays, but there were still nights where I fell asleep watching the odd documentary on the ocean, about the sharks that lived there or the reefs that hid beneath the water. I wondered briefly if Marshall knew, if I’d ever mentioned it in passing, but then brushed the thought away, figuring it to just be a coincidence.

The car rattled with the slight slam of the doors and it took me a second to figure out that I’d already stepped out to join Em by the curb. He was watching my reaction, it seemed, or waiting for it, I wasn’t quite sure, but all the same, I turned to him with a bright smile. “We’re going in?”

His smile was small but genuine, eyes hidden by the rim of his cap as he looked back over at the aquarium's entrance. Seeing the few people that were headed in and out, I figured he was probably scanning to see how we could slip inside unseen.

I sidled up beside him, watching too. “Do we have to get tickets?”

He shook his head, arm brushing against mine as he waved his phone in a gesture that told me he’d already planned ahead. I had to wrinkle my lips to keep from grinning too hard at the realisation. 

We stuck close together as we made our way inside, thankful for the lack of queue that allowed Em to flash a quick email to an older woman stood waiting at the entrance before we stepped inside. 

The first row of tanks we saw were illuminated all around us and as my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting we’d walked into they soon set intently on the glowing water held within them. There was a flurry of movement throughout and I was quick to step on closer, tracking the many fish that swam by, some brightly coloured, others almost mimicking the colour of the tanks floor.

I didn’t recognize all of the specific kinds I could see but I didn’t dare deny that they were all beautiful. It was almost mesmerising the way they all swam together and then apart, their actions thoughtless, simple. 

A little way down I spotted a group of kids, no older than about six or seven, and found myself relating to the way they pressed their little faces up against the glass, like they were waiting to sink through it and live amongst the marine life, to revel in that same simplicity. 

I felt Marshall slide into the space beside me and looked up to capture the way his eyes traced the zooming fish, before they soon settled on me. “Good idea?”

I blew out a breath, smiling. “The best.”

I gave up on trying to hide my excitement with that, reaching out to press my fingers to the glass, revelling in the few fish that came up to inspect the intrusion, mouths twitching ever so before they were darting off again. I laughed quietly to myself and then let my feet lead me further through the room.

I jumped from tank to tank, dragging Marshall along with me, not thinking as I grabbed his hand and pointed out all of the things that captured my attention. When we finally stopped by a wall full of guppies, I rattled off a fact without even noticing, eyes so caught on the tails that passed us by.

“So if they don’t have vocal chords, how do they make noises?” Em questioned me, his face screwed up in a confused grimace.

“They use low-pitched sounds to convey messages to each other, like rattling their bones or gnashing their teeth. They also use their bodies, vibrate their muscles against their swim bladder to mate or be territorial.” I answered him, eyes caught on the rapid array of colours. 

“The fuck’s a swim bladder?” 

His muttered question caught me by surprise and all I could do was laugh as I pulled him away from the crowd that had looked over at the unexpected sound. We ended up over by the blobfishes after that, something Em actually seemed engrossed by and the surrounding groups tried to avoid. 

“What about these fuckers?” He queried, leaning over to get a better look at the plaque that housed a picture of what most people believed a blobfish to look like. 

“They’re strange, it’s the pressure of the deep sea that provides them with their structural support.” I told him, bending down to join him in his stance before I peered into the tank. “They have little amounts of muscle and their bones are quite soft so that they’re able to live in high pressure conditions. When they’re brought to the surface though, they decompress. That’s why they look so different.”

“I relate, man.” Marshall mentioned to the nearest fish which clung to the tank’s floor. It made me giggle, though I couldn’t deny his words, Em seemed to thrive in high pressure scenarios much like the blobfish.

The further we walked, trailing through the large glass greenhouses the aquarium had to offer, taking in their shrubbery and vast amounts of evergreen, the more and more I wished that I lived in Detroit, knowing that if I did, I’d be here almost every weekend. It was beyond beautiful, made even more so by the blue sky above and the water which surrounded us.

Out of all the creatures the place had to offer, Em quite liked looking at the seahorses and made a show of rattling off the facts the aquarium offered in a mocking manner that made me realise how obnoxious I must’ve been.

“Sorry.” I offered sheepishly, chuckling in an attempt to hide the self-consciousness which had crept in, “I get carried away sometimes, but just tell me to shut up and you know I will.”

He practically froze at that, caught mid motion, but his stare was still stuck on me. My eyes flickered back and forth between his own and so when he finally exhaled I was witness to the way he quickly shook his head in retort, startling me slightly when he decided to drape an arm over my shoulders and tug me into his side. 

I did my best to turn my attention to the tank full of seahorses, even as he pressed chin to the side of my head and murmured into my hair, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

I nodded to let him know I’d heard, but didn’t trust myself to answer, anxious about how it might sound. Cursing myself for not realising that he’d only been teasing, not mocking.

“Mean it.” He emphasised, and I could feel the gravel of his voice just by my ear, the grate of it erupting goosebumps down the side of my neck. “I like how much you like fish.”

Scoffing around a light chuckle, I swatted his lower stomach in retaliation, glad to be back on common ground. “I find them interesting, you dick.”

He hummed thoughtfully and I held my breath as the sound vibrated down my spine, “Tell me more.” 

I did narrow my eyes at the demand, peering up at him to see if he was teasing again, but no. Marshall appeared as sincere in his ask as he had been with everything else this week. I licked at my lower lip, then turned back towards the tank, my voice soft as I regaled another fact off the top of my head. 

“They’re really bad swimmers, slowest kinds of fish, too. They have to use their tails to hold onto things so that the current doesn’t sweep them away, but they’re also the only fish that can swim upright.” I rambled, the weight of his arm on my shoulders allowing me to slump a little further into his side, the earlier anxiety melting away. “Seahorses don’t chew either, or have stomachs. They just disintegrate their food by sucking it in really forcefully.”

“Sounds like an ex I had.” Em quipped with a vague huff, before he turned more curious, “How’d they eat then? Gotta eat to shit, no?”

Shaking my head in exasperated amusement, I told him about their inefficient digestive systems and how much they have to eat a day to stay healthy. “They’re also monogamous.” I mentioned, tilting my head to the side to watch as a couple of seahorses floated closer.

“I see. These players ain’t fuckin’ round, know they only gotta worry about one psycho baby momma.” Marshall said and I felt him dip his head in a show of appreciation.

I had to snort at his stupidity, “You never heard that it’s the males that get pregnant?”

Marshall actually pulled away at that, hand coming to rest on the small of my back whilst his eyes blinked back at me, now wide enough that I could properly see them beneath the brim of his cap. “Ain’t no fuckin’ way.”

With a teasing smile, I reached out to pat at his stomach, “Bet you’d look so good, Marsh. Imagine the pregnancy shoot we could have for you! Paint your belly the colours of the Detroit Lions and everything!”

He slapped my hand away with a tut and slight shake of his head, but he was grinning even as I struggled to stop my laughter. 

It was as we walked away from the seahorses that Marshall ended up looping his arm over my shoulders once more, leading us through another brick archway in my favourite shade of green. We didn’t have to travel far before my feet rooted themselves to the ground, forcing Em into a halt too.

It was only when he glanced over to see the roundness my eyes had taken on that he caught on and chuckled.

Honestly though, it felt as though my lungs had forgotten how to function at the sight I'd been met with. “Those are sharks.”

“Astute assumption there, Darwin.”

“Sharks, Marshall.” I felt the need to reiterate, somehow managing to drag my eyes away from the extraordinary view to spare him a dazed glance. 

Only, I was taken back by the smile he adorned, it was one I’d yet to see. All goofy and childlike, as though he was truly enjoying himself and not thinking about anything else. But he wasn’t watching the sharks, nor the tank. No, his full focus seemed to be honed in on me.

He laughed, only strengthening that smile he wore, and the sight did something to my heart.

“What kind are they?” He asked me, continuing to chuckle quietly as he led us over to a corner of the glass that was free, most of the other observers crowding around the middle in hopes to lure one of the animals closer.

“Maybe a tigershark?” I offered, the two of us subconsciously stepping closer to watch as one of the smaller sharks swam close enough to flash us his underbelly. “Yeah, that definitely was.” I breathed out, blinking when I spotted Marshall’s face in the reflection, the way he was watching the water with a certain amount of reverence. 

“Damn.” He muttered when it swam past us again, tilting his head up to see past the brim of his hat. I watched him for a long moment then, the way the tank lit up his eyes, deepened them too, whilst lengthening his already long lashes. “I know a couple things about sharks, you know.” He offered and didn’t seem all that surprised when he looked over to see me already watching him, or perhaps he hadn’t noticed. 

“Yeah?” I whispered, prompting him on.

“They don’t have bones, right?” He started and at my nod, he smiled and continued, eyes flickering back and forth between the tank and me, “They’re made up of cartilage. Helps them to stay afloat ‘cause it's lighter than bone.”

I hummed in acknowledgement, grinning as one of the sharks swam over the rocky ground by my hand. Em reached out and put his fingers to the glass, breathing in sharply when the shark knocked its side against it.

“What else?” I asked softly, already so invested in hearing what he had to say.

“Their teeth,” He began, stare caught on the same shark that seemed to be circling its way back around, “They come in rows, so when one gets loosened or breaks they jus’ get rid of it and the one from the row behind moves forward.” He told me, pulling me in closer so that we could both press our palms to the glass, “Know that our teeth are actually a lot stronger than theirs too, ‘cause theirs don’t have no roots, they’re jus’ constantly sheddin’ them.”

“I didn’t know that.” I admitted gently, before I was chuckling at the same shark that nudged against the glass, right over the tops of our hands, “Wow.” 

“Yeah, wow.” I heard Marshall breathe in response, the pair of us utterly taken by the creatures.

…

In truth, we were both still in an odd sort of trance even as we wandered back out of the aquarium, only having decided to leave after a few people had started to glance over at us, murmurs starting.

I didn’t mind it all that much, having been grateful for the time we’d managed to lose track of inside, but Em had been quiet as we’d exited, having kept his head down the whole way out. 

By the time we got outside, the sun had just passed its midway mark in the sky and my stomach grumbled lightly. It was that which seemed to knock Marshall out of his solemn trance and he smirked as we approached the car again. 

Rolling my eyes, I flipped him off over the hood as I climbed in, earning myself a chuckle before he followed after me.

“Where you wanna eat?” Marshall quizzed as he buckled his seatbelt and started the car up, “Figured we might be able to get somethin’ here, but then people started takin’ notice.” His face fell into an odd sort of grimace at the reminder, but I waved it off, looking over at the aquarium one last time as we pulled out of the parking space. 

“It’s fine, I’m just really glad we got to go. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a while.” I told him honestly, letting go of another breath just thinking about it. 

It had been unlike anything else I’d seen. In truth, I didn’t think anyone had taken me anywhere so incredible. Sure, I had travelled the globe and seen the sea for myself, but it was completely different getting to just wander around beneath it all, to be able to look and just linger. 

Ultimately, the visit had meant a lot to me, I just wasn’t sure if Em had come to that same conclusion yet. 

“Yeah, me neither.” He said after a moment and I was taken back by the quick smile he gifted me with it. Before I had a chance to question it though, as well as everything else the trip had thrown at me, Em was handing me his phone.

My brow pinched when I glanced down at it, but still, I took it from his hand, figuring he’d ask me to grab his charger for him or something. “Look through the pictures, see which ones you like.” He said instead, catching me off guard.

“Uh, okay.” I replied, not having expected that but I guessed he must have managed to snap a couple photos of the sea life whilst I hadn’t been looking.

I turned the phone on and before I could even ask, Marshall was already rattling his passcode off to me, something I didn’t trust most with. I nodded anyway and quickly typed it in, smiling at the wallpaper which greeted me, a picture of him with Ayla and Z, before I then moved to click into his camera roll. 

There were enough photos of the aquarium, it seemed, for them to have covered the first few visible rows of his library and so I pressed on the last one and decided to scroll through.

Only, my earlier surprise grew larger and larger the further I swiped through them all. I’d been right in assuming that Marshall had captured quite a few shots of the fishes as well as a couple other creatures, but a majority of them were of me. Me standing by the jellyfish tanks. Me under one of the greenhouse domes, just the right amount of sunlight beaming in from above to make me appear almost angelic. Me grinning at a school of clownfish, nose practically touching the glass. Me stood over one of the open enclosures, marvelling at the stingray swimming beneath the surface.

There were dozens. Including one of me stood amongst the sharks with a slack jaw. That one made me chuckle, even as embarrassed as I felt, but then I swiped onto the next photo and my breath caught in the back of my throat.

It was of Rosie and I, the two of us sprawled out on the sofa, my hand in her hair, hers wrapped loosely around my ankle. It had so obviously been taken the night before when we’d all been watching that film and I was eager to take in every detail I could. 

I swiped again, intrigued now, and smiled at the following picture I was met with. 

Marshall caught my eye first, he was holding up the camera with one hand and was wearing that Kangol hat of his, chin titled ever so slightly towards the lens. His eyes were shadowed by the cap but the sun was still just high enough in the sky to have casted a warm glow over the rest of his skin. 

My gaze flickered over to it setting in the background, colouring the typical blue a blazing orange, but it was there that I also spotted Rosie and I stood by the roundabout. Her smile was big enough that it stood out even from a distance, but the camera only really picked up my side profile as I spun her around.

I guessed that he must have taken it that first day I arrived, when Rosie had talked us all into going to the park. I wondered if he’d let me have a copy.

Daring to swipe once more I didn’t expect to find what came next.

It was from outside the diner. The same one we’d visited days ago now, where Marcie worked and where Em and I had fought over the bill. The very same diner he’d admitted to being somewhat of a tradition for him and Rosie, a tradition he’d let me in on from the get-go.

He was obviously stood outside in the lot, the shop’s sign flickering in the top corner, but if you peered through the closed door you could once again see Rosie and I, and without thought a smile sprung to my lips, remembering the exact moment Marshall had snapped this picture because it was taken just as Rosie and I finished our pinky promise. You could see it so clearly, the smiles we both bared, the tangle of our hands, how I’d leaned in to level with her.

It actually stunned me to be quite honest. The fact that he’d managed to capture that very moment. How he’d also hidden his little selfie of the three of us at the park. And again last night, prompting me to wonder where he’d found the moment to sneak a photo without Rosie or me realising it. That, as well as the dozens of pictures he’d taken at the aquarium. 

I’d had my picture taken too many times to count. I couldn’t lie about that. It was one of the many consequences of fame. But never had I ever had a person do what Marshall had done, he’d made me feel like a main focus instead of just a topic, whilst somehow also managing to make me feel included, cared for, lov–

I paused that singular thought and reeled back.

Danny had gone through a phase of taking photos as a kid, but he’d been more invested in nature, the surroundings that he didn’t have to answer back to. Whenever he’d taken pictures of us, it had always been as a family and so it wasn’t too hard to spot all the wrongs there. The booze in the background, the joint in Mum’s mouth, our thin frames. I’d never been too fond of them.

Lottie on the other hand, now she was a part of this generation that lived and thrived off of selfies, so whatever photos there were of the two of us, it was usually always of her looking perfect by the lens and me a seeming little dazed in the background, having just been told to pose and given no time to understand what was going on.

These photos though. They made me feel seen.

They made me feel– just a whole lot.

“Any good ones?” Marshall’s voice cut into my thoughts. My head snapped over to him just in time to catch his gaze before it trailed back over to the road. My eyes lingered on him for a second too long and as a return for all those pictures he’d gotten of me, I raised the phone and snapped a secret photo of him. The afternoon sun was rolling in from the distance and it perfectly illuminated the side of his face. 

I blew out a long breath and smiled over at him. “Yeah,” I said somewhat breathlessly, “They’re perfect.”

[icallhimjoey]

Reinvent Love

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, jealousy, accusations, soft fluff, season 3 of my flatmate!joe

Author’s note: the first cracks; they're here - and, again, you don’t need to have read define close or explain us, but it’ll obviously give you backstory, which might help!

Wordcount: 3.6K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

It was silly. Joe was being silly.

He knew it, and felt so stupid for it. Like, in hindsight, the worrying felt so dumb. The constant milling shit over didn’t change anything, there was no real point to it. Although, maybe you being on his mind in this... new manner was what summoned you last night.

You just showed up, talking about a crazy day, no sad pouts, no needy touches. Just jittery movements and a lot to tell him.

Joe kind of sat back on his sofa, spread out and leaning into his left elbow and watched you pace around his lounge. Something about something a colleague had said that then turned out to be lies and you found out something by overhearing a phone call you weren’t meant to overhear – Joe was barely following along. Didn’t really try his best to, if he was honest.

He was moreso paying attention to what you were actually doing – were you even aware that you had started grabbing random things he had left lying around on his coffee table, on the kitchen island, on the counters, and one by one, put everything away where it was meant to go?  

Joe pursed a smile as he realised you knew exactly where everything went. Why did that make his chest ache in the best of ways?

This new casual form of intimacy seemed so small, but Joe felt how it smothered that little grain of doubt that resided in his chest. That little grain that had convinced him that you were probably going to fall into a new routine with your new flatmate after he moved in and, then you would probably grow close to him and Joe knew how you... no.

No.

He couldn’t think that.

It wasn’t fair on you. He caught himself trying to finish the thought a lot, but he knew it wasn’t fair. Wasn’t true. He didn’t even fully believe it. It was this thing. Still, he also couldn’t help how it simultaneously made him grow a little more possessive and made him want to prepare for the worst.

But, she was here, he had to remind himself.

She’s here.

And she was wandering around his space, letting her train of thought flow freely from her brain into his living room and he used to witness this all the time when you lived together still. Joe realised he’d actually missed it a lot, and wasn’t that the whole point? That he got to miss you now?

God, Joe missed you a lot and you were right there and he could just burst at the seams at how fucking lucky he felt.

He was a just normal guy in a normal flat with a normal relationship– well, normalish relationship, anyway. Not that you had talked about anything yet. Of course you hadn’t. But it was pretty fucking obvious what this was. So he had started shrugging whenever someone would ask if you were actually together, which felt a lot better than the forever, “No, we’re flatmates, what are you talking about?” he used to throw at people, practically gaslighting them out of whatever they thought they’d witnessed between him and the girl that he used to live with.

It was working. The plan he had made, this vague idea of normalcy; it was working out the way he had wanted it to.

And yea, sure, you were getting a new flatmate and Joe had a difficult time not feeling some type of way about that, but, he had made the decision to move out and, look at you now.

“Do you think I can get a raise out of this? Or at least get a weird bonus, mid-term?”

Joe had a hard time not laughing at your question as he saw you had already mentally moved onto something else. You were stood in the middle of the room, both hands on your hips, eyes scanning the room. Everything tidy and organised.

“Joe, when did you last clean?”

Joe followed your gaze up into one of the corners of the ceiling.

“I cleaned today.” Joe said, knowing you’d likely not take it as an honest answer. You had lived together, remember? No fucking way was Joe ever going to feel the urge to maybe sometimes swipe a feather duster across the upper corners of his living room.

You shuddered at the thought of what resided behind his curtains there.

You sighed and tutted and turned back to Joe’s kitchen like you were going to start cleaning his fucking ceilings at half past ten at night.

“Hey, no. No, no. Stop. Will you come sit down a second? My god.” Joe huffed, feigning annoyance. When you turned on your heel and giggled as you scurried over, Joe let a laugh escape his throat just before you let yourself fall into the cushions next to him.

He hooked an arm around your neck to pull you in so he could press his nose into your cheek a second. You gladly let him, and when he held you close like that for longer than you initially thought he would, you suddenly realised you’d just been talking about yourself for twenty minutes straight.

Just barged in with unimportant thoughts on your mind that you just verbally vomited right into Joe’s space. You knew it was mostly nervous energy that was only there because your new flatmate picked up his keys earlier, which now meant there was every opportunity for someone to just... walk into your flat at any given time. That had unexpectedly brought on way more anxiety than you previously thought it would do.

Hence why you decided to just... escape it, and went over to Joe’s to spend the night there.

Joe was pressing his nose into your cheek and held you in place for a bit before he moved his head down, hiding into your neck a second.

“You okay?” you asked softly, head tilting down a bit.

“Mm, yea, fine.” Joe inhaled deeply, before pressing a few small kisses to the crook there and moving back to look at you the in eye. He unhooked his elbow from around your neck and placed two cupped hands on either side of your face, swiping bits of hair back in the process.

Joe was leant all the way back into the sofa, head squished in between two of the back cushions and you took a moment to look at each other. Joe studied your face and rubbed his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks until you grew shy.

“You look tired,” you softly said before Joe sat up a little and leant closer. It had you close your eyes just before scrunching up your nose as he kissed the very tip of it.

“I am tired.” He mused, copying your nose scrunch when you blinked your eyes open again, and Joe looked so soft. Sort of pleased with life, happy to be where he was and like he’d just had a really good productive day. He blinked slowly, eyes only half open, and looked sleepy enough to slip right into dreams the second his head would hit his pillow.

You loved him like this. His hands on you, all soft touches. Comfy and cosy and calm. Just you and him. No one else. No threat of someone randomly walking in.

This was perfect.

“Mmm, me too.” You smiled and let Joe grab one of your elbows to pull an arm across his stomach as he sat back again.

“I’m not surprised. You’ve just done a 5K as you tidied this room, I think.”

You huffed a laugh as you sank into Joe’s side, and then you sat like that in silence for a moment. No TV on. No phones in sight for some easy distraction. Just you and Joe and the view of his living room.

“Are you okay?” Joe suddenly asked, emphasis on the you, and you tried hiding the small, hitched intake of breath by quickly nodding and casually going, “Yea. Fine.”

You could feel how Joe tucked in his chin to look at you.

He waited. Wasn’t going to tell you, “No, be honest...”, but also wasn’t going to accept it and move on. It was still like that. He knew you were lying, and you knew he knew, no words shared at all.

So you sighed and took a second, and then said, “Josh picked up his key today.”

And you didn’t want to explain what that meant.

Didn’t want to tell Joe that, for a while, this existing-in-two-flats thing had just felt like a bit of a joke. Just the two of you playing and being silly about whatever you really were. You still sort of thought of him as a flatmate because he still came over all the time, and you went over to his all the time too. You existed in the same space almost just as much as before, sort of.

But now a new flatmate was actually moving in, and suddenly, it felt like reality had slapped you right across the cheek like it had done that day that Joe moved out.

You’d gotten to hide away for a lot of that.

And there was no real hiding this time around.

You couldn’t go home and pretend Joe was going to move back in eventually, because now Josh’s things were going to be all over the flat. Which was fine. Josh signed a lease. His things were allowed to be all over the place.

It was just... things were getting real now.

Shit was real.

“Which reminds me,” you suddenly piped up, pushing uncomfortable thoughts down, tucking those away for another time and place. “This is going to save you some money!”

You saw how Joe’s mouth slowly stretched into a smile as he watched how his own feet rubbed against yours. Then he caught himself and quickly furrowed his brow, saying, “No, I don’t think it works like that.”

You copied his expression, but were more confused than anything else.

“Of course it does. Josh signed the papers, he’s going to start paying rent now, you–”

“I said that I had taken care of things, didn’t I?” Joe interrupted you, fingers playing with the folds in your sleeve of the arm that rested over his stomach. “Can’t just not keep a promise like that.”

You blinked at him a second, then moved to sit up to stare at him harder. If both Joe and Josh paid rent, that basically meant that you... got to live for free for a while? That math wasn’t mathing. One plus one wasn’t equalling two here. You looked around Joe’s flat and tried to think of his own expenses, and... what the fuck was he doing?!

“Joe,”

“You’re not going to be able to talk me out of this.”

“Joe.”

Joe ignored you and faked a yawn, sped it up along with stretched out arms above his head and quickly said, “So tired. Bed?” before getting up and leaving you on his sofa as he left the room.

“You’re insane if you think I’m just going to accept that!” you called after him and heard him laugh from down the hall.

“Did you not just say you were after a weird mid-term bonus?”

And you hated how that made you smile. Made you punch one of the cushions and sink your teeth into your bottom lip begrudgingly as you forgot to breathe a second.

Joe smiled to himself too as he turned on the lights in his bathroom. It felt like he was winning a contest - there was no contest, no one to fight, not really, but, he was definitely winning.

“You coming?”

Breathe.

Calm down.

You could pretend to fight him on this once more in the morning.

Crawling into bed with Joe had its own little routine which was different from the one at yours. Different order of things, because the lay out of the flat was different.

Bathroom first. You brushed teeth together, always had to stop Joe when he washed his face too aggressively and then used your own moisturiser on him. “Just for your dry patches,” you’d always say, but would end up swiping delicate fingertips all over anyway. There’d be a snarky comment, of you using too much, of him feeling too greasy, of how he was going to stick to his pillow all night now, and then you’d always kiss him to shut him up before moving on to do your own skincare routine.

When you’d get into bed, Joe would already be in there, giving his phone a last once-over before he’d scoot down and get comfortable.

This time, however, when you walked into his bedroom, the lights were already off, and it looked like Joe was already falling asleep.

This soft man.

So sleepy.

He was all messy curls and bare arms, duvet tucked under them, curled up right in the middle of his bed. You slid in and cuddled up right behind him, hips against his bum, chest to his back.

You were right.

Joe was already falling asleep.

You pushed a leg in between his for warmth and snuck an arm around his front.

“You’re crazy,” you whispered into the skin of his shoulder which prompted Joe to grab hold of your hand and pull it into his chest so you were hugging him properly. The big spoon to his small one. Then he just hummed as you pressed a small kiss to his warm skin there.

“So crazy.” you nuzzled into his pillow, your nose rubbing his back as you did, and you felt how he ducked his head down to press a small kiss to your fingers.

You fell asleep warm, comfortable, and smiling.

You woke up in the same way.

Just on your stomach now, and with Joe’s heavy limbs slung over your body. When you turned over, it woke Joe up, and for five blissful early morning minutes, you tried crawling into each other’s skin as best you could. Breathed each other’s breath and tasted each other’s skin. Stroked hands underneath clothes and had fingers crawling into underwear, just to touch and to hold.

When you quietly asked if Joe wanted coffee, he groaned and told you to shut up. He was able to feel you giggle to that, and he could cry with how happy he felt in that moment. Why would you have to go and ruin it by getting up to go and make coffee?

“Five more minutes.”

“Mmm... it’s never just five.”

Joe sighed, “Just five.” speech slurring with early morning drowsiness and then burrowed himself into you even more.

And fine.

Joe could have five more minutes.

But then they easily turned into twenty, because they always did, and you had to eventually bribe Joe with breakfast for him to let you go so you could sit up.

“If you take a slow shower, I’ll have it ready when you finish.” You looked over your shoulder where Joe, still with his eyes closed, smiled widely. His nose was slightly red from pressing it into your skin, and his bedhead made you have to suppress a giggle that you hid by leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead before you got out.

Joe barely even felt that little grain of bad in his chest when he thought of how much he loved you.

Because he did.

Joe fucking loved you.

There was going to be a moment soon where he was just going to have to say it. It was going to spill out of him in some other way if he wouldn’t simply use the words, he just knew it.

Joe loved you as he watched through squinty eyes how you reached for a pair of white socks of his to borrow.

Loved you as he watched you pull one of his old sweaters over your head before you walked out, bare legs still on show.

Loved you when he stepped into his living room after his shower to the smell of burnt toast and scrambled eggs and coffee.

Loved you as he watched you step onto a chair in the corner of his room, wet dishcloth in hand to remove the strings of dust you had scolded him over the night before.

Loved you as he felt what the sight of your stretched body, your bare tighs, and the little peep of your bum did to him inside of his boxers.

Loved you as he groaned and let his head fall onto the counter, having to breathe through it, because you were just cleaning his living room, and not giving him a sensual striptease act or whatever.

Loved you as you looked back over your shoulder, raising your eyebrows in surprised confusion before accusingly asking, “Really, Joe? Cleaning?”

Loved you as he stutteringly defended the blood rush down south by saying, “You have no idea what you look like right now.” into his elbow where he had to hide his face for a second.

Loved you, loved you.

He was hardly able to deny any of it.

And he didn’t feel that he had to, either.

Because, you were there. In his flat. In his clothes. Cleaning his dusty ceiling corners. And wasn’t that just something he wanted to tell the whole fucking world about?

That small little green grain of doubt and worry and negativity dried out and got no sunshine to really grow into anything. Thank fuck.

He got to ignore it for a while.

Forgot about it entirely, and pretended it wasn’t even there for a bit.

It was easy.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

Would tell you soon.

Didn’t know how.

Or where.

But he was going to say it.

He was going to use his words because he was just a normal guy who loved a normal girl and you weren’t being weirdly secretive about what you got up to in private. At least, not how you used to be, anyway.

Joe loved you.

You brought Joe flowers and cleaned his ceiling and wore his clothes and cooked his breakfast.

Joe loved you, even though your new flatmate Josh turned out to be impossibly good-looking in addition to being incredibly kind as well, so Joe didn’t even get to have a real reason to dislike him at all, which seemed unfair, but, all right.

Joe loved you, even when suddenly two shiny black acoustic guitars appeared on your living room wall, because Josh worked in music, and wasn’t that just so cool?

Joe loved you, even though his very first thought after that was, well I know how to play guitar too, don’t I?! which you had never even mentioned before.

Joe loved you, even when he walked into your flat one evening and interrupted a dinner you were having with Josh and one of your friends and, look, Josh cooked for us, and for the first time ever, he felt uninvited and intruding.

Joe loved you, even when your friend jokingly said, “You’re over here at lot for someone that moved out.” right to his face, to which you then heartily laughed, because she was only joking, Joe, and then you didn’t say anything about how you were together, but, you were together... weren’t you?

Joe loved you, even when he stuck to the bit and handed you his flat key like he always did, expecting to find it in his coat pocket later, but then ended up finding both his pockets empty when he went home the next morning, which, yea actually, that made sense, because Josh lived there now, and it was a little weird to have a key still, wasn’t it?

Joe loved you, even when you had told him to come over on Friday evening because you’d had a shit day at work, and for the first time ever, he had to ring the doorbell to get inside.

Joe loved you, even when Josh was the one that answered the door, and Josh almost didn’t let him in, telling him, “Oh, she’s fallen asleep on the sofa, mate.” to which Joe just smiled as he stepped around him, because what the fuck did Josh even know about falling asleep on the sofa in this flat?

Joe loved you, even when he found you asleep on the sofa, curled up under a blanket he’d never seen before, with an empty pizza box bar some crusts still on the coffee table, and you never ate a whole pizza yourself, so that was obviously shared with someone else.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

But there was a playstation besides the TV now, and a cool record player on the side, pile of vinyl next to it, and, God.

Joe fucking hated this.

Whatever was inside of Joe’s chest, that thing he didn’t even want in there, was growing.

Was getting fed without Joe even fully realising he was feeding it.

He hated those guitars. He hated that he no longer had a key. He hated that stupid blanket. And he hated that empty pizza box.

Still, he sat down beside you and placed your socked feet onto his lap. Watched the last scenes of whatever film you’d put on as he slowly kneaded a foot and let you sleep, and he tried his best to not get bitten. To not let it sink its teeth in. To not let it hurt.

It was silly.

Joe was being silly.

Rational thought saved him.

Rational thought told him he still loved you.

And he hoped rational thought was going to be enough.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson,

@choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn,

@dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee,

@figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4,

@hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke,

@lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr,

@munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories,

@phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420,

@songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73,

@werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[magics-neptunes-things]

Hate and love

Hello!

This one is from a request, you still can ask me to write something if you want to :)

I have to say that I'm not really sure about this one, but here it is.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Angst, harassment, divorce, loneliness.

______________________________________________________________

Your arrival in Barcelona at the winter transfer almost a year ago has gone rather well. You quickly bonded with most of the players and you didn’t have any trouble becoming a part of the FC Barcelona family. You maybe wasn't in the Top 3 of the public favorite players, but you don't really mind. You were a bit sad about the departure of some of them this summer, especially Jenni and Ana who were kind of mentors for you during these few months. And even if you continue to exchange news with them, you must admit that it is not the same.

Playing previously in Seville, you already knew quite well some of the players of the team, usually staying on the pitch after the matches to chat a little. You were separated during the World Cup, your national team not being strong enough to pass the qualifications you were in the first to return to training in Barcelona. This did not prevent you from making the trip to Australia to support your friends and obviously the Spanish national team.

You celebrated their victory from the VIP party with friends and family before returning to Barcelona in your daily routine. The world champions have gradually returned to training and you have welcomed new players to the team, always in a good mood.

Everything seems perfect told like that, yet there is something that bothers you since your arrival in Barcelona.

Aitana Bonmati.

She never seemed very happy to see you arrive and you never understood why. At first you said to yourself that she was perhaps afraid that your arrival would cause an imbalance in the group, as can happen sometimes when an element has a too strong personality. Some are afraid of change and you have not asked yourself more questions than that, letting this information slip into a corner of your brain. She wasn’t necessarily part of the small group of girls you trained with regularly anyway since you don’t play in the same spot on the field.

But this summer, you could see that the new arrivals had the right to a big smile and other privileges to which you were not entitled. It’s not really a question of ego, but you don’t understand what you did to her to make her react this way with you. And that's hurt.

You have even noticed with the passing of time that she tends to be rather unpleasant with you, not responding to your hello when you arrive in the locker room for example. It happens to her to roll discreetly her eyes when you speak and you even surprised once Ona throwing her an elbow in the ribs while making the big eyes. It was a relief to see that you were not crazy and that your teammates were taking your side, but it also confirmed what you thought.

And gradually, it plunged you into a kind of constant anxiety, reminding you of some of your traumas during your childhood and adolescence. During which you were often mocked, the girl who preferred to play football rather than dance. Your father always supported you in your choices, unlike your mother, your big brother and your big sister. When they separated you went to live with him and he sacrificed a lot so that you would be where you are today, but you never had the heart to tell him about the harassment you were experiencing at school.

**********

"Can I talk to you?"

Alexia’s voice surprises you while you were focused on the laces of your Converse, making you jump a little. Lost in your thoughts, you were ruminating about the disaster you were during this training. You didn’t put a single ball in the net, you got so distracted that you got a remonstrance from Jona and you almost kill Mapi with a bad pass. Mapi preferred to laugh and quickly came to reassure you by giving you a friendly slap in the back and a hug, to your greatest relief. You would have been horrified to be hated by another of your teammates.

"Sure" you mumble without looking at her.

Alexia’s voice was sweet when she offered to follow her to one of the conference rooms and you complied after picking up your bag and stuff. All the other girls have already returned and the corridors now seem deserted.

When you arrive in the room, you watch Alexia open the blinds slightly as you stand against the wall, very close to the door. You’re anxious and just waiting to be scolded. It often happened like this, teachers taking you aside to say that you weighed on the morale or level of the class. That you had to work on it if you wanted to be accepted and have good results. But no one ever seemed to wonder why you didn’t get along with your classmates. No one ever noticed or understood the harassment you were experiencing. You never mentioned that either, but you would have given ten years of your life for someone to notice. Anyone.

So when Alexia turns to you with an almost maternal expression, it completely disarms you. Her eyes were soft and you can easily detect a form of concern in it.

"You can come closer, I won’t eat you" Alexia gently smiles before sitting on one of the tables, probably to make this conversation less formal.

After hesitating for a second, you settle down in front of her playing nervously with your hair.

"What can I do for you?" you ask, instead of "How are you gonna let me know that I’m gonna heat up the backup bench over the next few weeks?"

"I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine. You seem a little out of place these last few days and it’s starting to worry us. I talked with Jona about it today"

She seems embarrassed to tell you that she told someone else about you without you knowing, making you frown. Your facial expression is probably misunderstood by your captain as she hastens to add

"Don’t take this the wrong way. we’re just worried about you"

"I... I'm fine"

You shrug before biting your lip. You are a bad liar, you know it. And it didn't fool Alexia.

"You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable with it. But there are other people here who will listen to you with pleasure."

"Don’t worry about me. It was just a time like this, but I’ll be fine"

Because it's what you always did. Figuring and fighting things alone, even if you have now friends who you trust and who you know you can count on.

"You don't have to do that alone, you know"

"Why do you even care?"

You roll your eyes. Sur Alexia is a great captain, and you like her a lot. As a friend of course, but you can't denied that she deserve her title. Like most other girls she is sincerely kind and knows how to distinguish between competition and friendships in the locker room. This is an example for you, as it is for many other girls. And even if she knows all this, she remains modest and does not take the big head. Pretty impressive, in your opinion.

"Is that even a question Y/N?"

Alexia laughs, but it’s a surprise laugh. She seems surprised at the sincerity of your question. And, seeing that you don't answer, she gently shakes her head before answering you.

"Because we care, you're part of this family and even if half of us are totaly crazy, we care for each other. Whatever your problem is, you don't have to figure out alone."

And these sentences, even if it seems to be the most natural thing for Alexia, break down the barriers you have put up until now. You feel tears wet your cheeks without being able to do anything to stop them. As if the dam that you had formed all these years had broken and all the tears that you had retained until today finally decided to come out. And obviously, it bothers you terribly.

You mumble excuses between two sobs, but after more or less calling you an idiot, Alexia breaks the distance between you two to take you in her arms and rock you against her. You don’t know how long you stay like this, but you still stop crying.

So you tell her everything.

The harassment when you were little, from part of your family and the children in your classes. The divorce of your parents which you feel responsible despite everything, this feeling of loneliness that you have since you were born certainly. This feeling of never being fully understood by anyone, until you arrived here. And then you talk about your teammate who reminds you of that, without giving her name. You don’t want to be a problem and Alexia doesn’t ask you to name her. Maybe because she already knows who she is?

The blonde listens to you without saying a word, patiently wiping the tears that continue to roll on your cheeks. When you are silent, exhausted by these confessions and your tears, she speaks again in a calm and soothing voice.

"I’m not going to pretend that I understand you because I was lucky enough to have a family that always supported me. I wouldn’t be here without them, honestly."

The bond between Alexia and her mother, even her sister is know by anyone. You nod, still looking at her.

"But you, you made your way all by yourself. You're only 21 Y/N, you don't realise how strong you are. But being strong doesn't always mean you have to be alone. You have friends here, people who love you and care for you. You are not alone anymore."

With that you smile at her, feeling relieved. As if the weight of all these years were coming off your shoulders. You even feel like you can breathe better. So you thank Alexia, with simple words but you couldn’t explain how much you think about them. As she lays a kiss on your cheek, you put your arms around her neck to hug her and press your words. She gives you your hug back before training you out of the room. Tomorrow is another day and you promise to do better than that.

**********

The rest of the workouts of the week are much better and you decide to completely ignore Aitana. You remain polite nevertheless, but you act as if she's not there. And this seems to annoy her even more but you decided that's not your problem. Many times you feel her look burn your back and you have time to see her black look before she realizes that you are looking at her and she looks away.

But your morale and your game are back to normal and it’s a great relief for you. For Alexia and your coach too, the man simply slips you a short compliment at the end of a session. No need to make tons and that’s enough for you.

The last practice before the next game goes as usual. You do your warm-ups with your fellow defenders, then you are shuffled for courses and drills before a five-player mini-team tournament is organized. You feel a form of anxiety that makes your heart beat when your team is against Aitana, but you decide to focus on the game.

It goes pretty well until you are tackled a little too ferociously by someone from the opposing team. The pain in your ankle and instantaneous and you can’t hold a cry of pain as you collapse to the ground.

"What the fuck Aitana?" Mapi snaps, but you don't really care for now.

The second duel that took place next to you seems to have stopped too, but the tears of pain that fill your eyes prevent you from seeing it for the moment.

"You're ok?"

Irene has knelt beside you and you feel a compassionate hand behind your back. Long black hair obscuring part of the view informs you that it's Ingrid. You answer a simple no with a nod and a few minutes later you are transported to the infirmary. Ona offered to accompany you and you agreed, realizing that you didn't want to be alone.

**********

"Sprain" informs you the nurse and you let yourself go against the file of the infirmary bed on which you are. "It means rest for two weeks."

You pout, but turn your attention to Ona when she places a friendly hand on your arm. You are so used to spending this kind of time alone that you sometimes forget for a few seconds that she is with you. You must be able to easily win the worst friend award.

"At least it’s not the ligaments" Ona said softly.

"You’re right" you sigh.

She gives you a compassionate smile and you assure her that she can take a shower and change. You still have the prescription to wait and the nurse must come back with your brace and crutches. After making sure you weren’t going to go home with an Uber but with her and Lucy, she eventually left the room. She even offers to inform the rest of the team of your injury and you accept willingly, not wanting to go to put a show there downstairs.

A few minutes pass and you always wait when someone knocks on the door.

"I still haven’t finished Ona, but you can come in."

Except that it is not Ona who enters, but Aitana. The look fixed on her shoes and the air of someone who goes to the torture room. And this time, the anger you had not yet felt takes hold of you.

"I came to apologize" Aitana mumbles without turning her eyes towards you.

"Well, it's done" you answer coldly, turning your back on her.

You don’t want to look at her. You’re mad at her, at her behavior. That she doesn’t like you is one thing, but that she makes you unable to play for two weeks is another.

"It wasn't voluntary"

You hold a sarcastic laugh and slowly shake your head.

"Ok."

Aitana seems surprised at your reaction, but you don’t care. It's true that usually you are more the one who flees the conflict and who prefers to go with the idea of the person in front of you to please her. She stands there and it annoys you. So you suddenly turn your head in her direction and you talk to her dryly.

"All right, you can go now. Just leave me alone."

The tone of your voice seems to make her react since she frowns and steps in your direction.

"Don’t talk to me like that."

You feel your heart racing, you have never been very good at dealing with disputes and emotions. Until now you had managed to buried them deep inside when they became too powerful but it seems that since your confessions to Alexia you are no longer able to do so. She says it’s a pretty good things, but you're not really sure about that.

"Don’t tell me how to talk to you when you’ve been treating me like shit since I got here, Aitana."

Aitana is stunned. She never saw you angry and expected you to accept her apology so that she could get out of this room as quickly as she got in. Her lost look irritates you a little more, she knew very well what she was doing by behaving as she did since the beginning. And you gradually realized that you didn’t deserve this.

"Who made you come here? Mapi, Alexia, Jonatan?"

She blushs and it's enough for you to understand that you are right. If she had the choice, she would never had been here, begging for your forgiveness.

"Get out" you groan, turning your back at her once again.

She didn't and you sigh before getting up as you can. It may not be the most graceful way to do it and it may take some drama off the stage, but you don't care.

"I said get out" you say, raising your voice now. "You don't want to be here and I don't want you here."

But she’s still not moving and your patience is coming to an end. From now on there is nothing else that separates you, except the bed on which you were lying a few moments ago. The nurse still hasn’t come back, but this might be the time to do it please.

"I- " began Aitana, without saying anything more.

"What do you want? Two weeks without me aren't enough? Want to break my other leg too?"

The frustration you feel about not understanding Aitana’s reaction and behavior may be pushing you a little to say things you never had the courage to say before. But it was less positive to return the floor to your interlocutor, whose face and eyes finally come alive again.

"I told you I didn't mean it" she half-screams and you snort. "Maybe I was wrong for acting with you like I did but..."

"Maybe?!" you interrupt her coldly.

"You made my life a living hell! You came here with your damn smile and skills and all my life fell appart!" Aitana is clearly shooting now and you blink, surprised by her rage. "I was in an healthy relationship, happy in my life and with this team. And you came along and everything fell apart! I am straight ok, I am so fucking straight but all I can think about all the time is you! I hate you for the way you make me feel but I'm not fucking able to change it even if I tried since you are here"

It is your turn to remain silent, your brain analyzing each of the words that she just said. And all this has absolutely no meaning for you, except the part where she confesses her hatred to you perhaps. Aitana’s breathing is fast and noisy, you can’t tell if it’s that or your screams that didn’t allow you to realize that you were no longer alone in the room.

"Hmm."

You look over Aitana’s shoulder and you realize that Ona has returned to the room with Lucy holding your crutches and a sheet of paper while she herself carry your bag.

"Maybe it’s time to go home"

Lucy’s perfectly expressionless face keeps you from knowing how long she’s been here. Two steps behind her, Ona makes her look between you and Aitana without saying anything. You nod and pass in front of Aitana with a limp, Ona reacting by breaking the last meters to help you take your crutches in hand.

You follow them silently to Lucy’s car and after some arguments with Ona you finally agree to sit in the passenger seat. By taking your phone out of your pocket, you realize that you have received some messages from your teammates wishing you a good recovery. And you quickly understand that they have created a tournus between them so that you are not alone at home. There will apparently be only during the trip next weekend where you will not have peace. But it makes you smile and a little forget what just happened.

"You want to eat with us tonight?" Lucy asks.

"Nah I'm good thank you. I usually watch some crap TV show on friday night."

You see Lucy peeking at you to make sure you’re not playing superhero and you feel the way she’s measuring you. You look up and sigh.

"I assure you it’s okay. Enjoy your Friday night, I’ll probably go to bed early anyway."

This time it's Ona that Lucy looks through the rearview mirror but neither of them insists, to your relief. Being alone doesn't bother you. Once at home, Ona helps you get out of the vehicle and before she can open her mouth, you speak again.

"I promise, i'm fine Ona."

"All right. I’ll leave you alone on the condition that you swear on your cat’s head that you will write me if you're not okay."

"Leave the poor cat alone" you joke, making her smile. "I promise."

**********

The doorbell on your front door makes you frown. You’re sitting on your couch, a blanket on your legs and your cat on your stomach. Your sprain is better, it must be said that after a week and a half of rest it would be dramatic that this is not the case. You have resumed muscle training, but it is obviously out of the question that you start running again for now. You can now move without your crutches and it was a great relief to be able to get rid of them. Your ankle is still carefully immobilized but you are now doing quite well.

Salma left your apartment half an hour ago, and you’re supposed to stop receiving visitors. Your father phones you every day and hasn’t done it yet, but he has no reason to show up here unannounced. That’s really not his style.

The bell rings again, waking up your cat who is rustling a little before going to eat croquettes in the kitchen. So you get up from the couch and go to the door, opening it without removing the safety chain to see who it is. And almost immediately you close the door, but the fingers of Aitana who slip into the opening prevent you to do so.

"Don’t make me break your fingers"

"Just let me in"

"No? What the hell"

"Y/N, please…"

The despair of her voice makes you flinch and you press your forehead against the door. You’re too sensitive to people’s distress to leave someone with that feeling. Even if it was Aitana herself who put you in this emotion there a few weeks ago. You sigh and, already regretting your gesture, you open the door to let her in. You avoid looking at her when she enters your home, closing the door behind her.

"You have a cat?"

You refrain from pointing out that if she had been interested in you instead of making you regret your arrival, she would know. If you don’t talk about your cat several times during the day, there is a problem.

"How do you know where I live?"

Aitana stop looking at your cat who spread out on your plaid to turn to you. With your arms crossed, you wait for his answer with a certain hint of curiosity. Aitana has never set foot in your house and if you are not mistaken, she does not really live in the neighborhood.

"I asked Irene"

She shrugs and you signal her to settle down on the couch. You go back to your place, gently pushing your cat to be a little more comfortable. With a simple look he made you understand that you're annoying, making you smile gently. You caress him to apologize as he stretches, rolls into a ball and closes his eyes.

"I came to apologize"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Aitana looks at you with the same suspicion as if she had been the last piece of meat in the middle of a horde of hungry lions.

"I’ve already heard that before" you answer by arching an eyebrow

"I know. But I just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, really. My problems shouldn’t have affected you. I should have handled things differently, but I was confuse and scared."

She looks sincere and does not look away when you judge her with yours. Next to you your cat stretches lazily before turning around on the other side and continuing his nap.

"Ok. Apologizes accepted"

She looks at you so long it makes you uncomfortable. You have never been in her presence for so long and you find yourself nervously wrapping your hair around your finger.

"If I could, I would do things differently, you know? I understand it’s out of the question that something is happening between us now, but I would like to start all over again. Get to know you, possibly offer you a date and then two if things go well."

You’re slowly biting your lip looking at her. You’d be lying if you said that the words she said in the infirmary didn’t mark you. You were far from imagining that the reason for his behavior was related to an attraction to you. You think it’s pretty toxic, but you like to think people deserve a second chance. After biting your lip, you bend over and reach out to her.

"Well... Hi. I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."

[bluecrocss]

Somethings I'm looking forward to in PJO Season 2 that I don't see people talk about as much

Villain!Luke: Most of TLT/Season 1 is Luke playing as an ally/friend/older brother to our protagonists. We see him in a mostly positive light as the show tries to hide his true intentions until the reveal.

SOM is the first time we get to see Luke in pure villain mode, and I'm so excited. Despite my issues with the movies (Especially the second one), I can always appreciate how much fun Jake Abel was obviously having hamming it up in the second movie. Literally, all he needed was a mustache to twirl lol

Anyway, Charlie did such a good job of making Luke sympathetic and likeable, I'm so excited for when we first see him on the Princess Andromeda in all his Villain glory. I can't wait to see how he plays it.

Clarisse redemption: Look, I will always defend the right of viewers to dislike a bully, no matter how sad their backstory is. However, in my opinion, SOM and TLO is probably where we get the most character development for Clarisse (the show can even add more depth to that if they play it right).

Hints at her abusive relationship with Ares, the first inklings of her friendship with Percy, there's so much more we're going to get out of that character, and I really hope they SHOW (not tell) it right.

Tyson/Annabeth beef: I am going to be on the front-lines as a Leahbeth defender this season. Like with the growing fandom dislike towards Annabeth of late, and the general way audiences treat black female characters whenever they show any negative traits, Annabeth's interactions with Tyson in SOM (and her later interactions with Rachel Dare in BOTL) are not going to be some of her best moments; but also are great character moments for her because those two books more than any are about showing Annabeth's flaws. She's a 13 year old girl with PTSD people!

Tyson's a sweetheart, obvs, but watching 5"2 Leah Jeffries consistently intimidate 6"5 Daniel Diemer is gonna be kind of hilarious. And Tyson's constant attempts to win her over are so endearing (Especially when he does succeed towards the end).

I do hope they make some changes to the backstory of why Annabeth doesn't like Cyclopes though. Because even in the books, I thought that seemed a bit forced in.

Annabeth's Circe island makeover: Yes, Walker as a guinea pig, hilarious. Yes, the siren scene, heartbreaking. The childhood Percabeth shipper in me, can't wait to see what makeover Annabeth gets in the show!

Say what you will, but one of the best parts of Annabeth now being portrayed by a black actress is (in my personal opinion), I think there is no group of women on earth with more variation in hair styling than black women.

As such, there's an infinite number of styles and looks that I could see them giving Leah for this. Braids with gold accessories, Afro puffs, a Grecian take on Bantu knots, etc. etc. I mean, the fan artists have been eating with that already.

What have I missed? What other less talked about moments is everyone excited to see brought to life?

[leviscolwill]

sanctuary

pairing: jude bellingham x f1 driver!reader

summary: after an eventful singapore gp, the only thing you can think of is your comfy bed but your body has another plan and your boyfriend isn't happy about that. [wc: 1,6k]

req: Ferrari driver reader x jude where she feels a bit dizzy after a race and kind of faints when they get at the hotel, like just fluff with him taking care of her + CAN YOU WRITE JUDE ANGST THEN FLUFF IDC ABT THE SCENARIO JS JUDE ANGST IN JUDE X DRIVER READER 🙏🙏

contents: established relationship, charles is reader's teammate, ferrari being good au (impossible ik), reader faints, jude is a worried bf, barely has angst ngl 🏃‍♀️, nothing else i think

note: i have no idea how to write about fainting and it probably shows. ALSO, i wrote most of this at 1am so i hope it makes sense (probably doesn't but we move😪)

now playing: sanctuary by joji (nectar)

usually you would say you absolutely loved singapore. the track was one of your favourites on the calendar and you practically counted down the days to this race. but this week was probably the most difficult of your entire career in motorsports. of course, marina bay had never been an easy race, and the weather conditions in singapore were only making it harder to handle. but this year, no number of ice bath and cold shower could appease the dizzying headache that plagued your weekend.

and to add to that, everyone at the team has been stressing you out about the championship. obviously, you were grateful that you could finally fight for one, ferrari had built the perfect car this season. but this came with a price, fighting against charles for the title. you were great friends with your teammate but you had to admit your relationship took a toll with the constant tension between the two of you throughout the season. anyone wearing a bright red kit kept reminding you that you needed to be careful on track, that if you crashed with anyone, but especially with charles, you'd be in great trouble.

thankfully your boyfriend joined you after qualifying, and made your weekend instantly better. he noticed something was wrong right away. of course, you told jude about your struggles but he didn't expect to find you in this state.

"maybe you shouldn't race tomorrow..?"

you took a glance at jude, laid down on the hotel room bed, to check if he actually meant what he just uttered only to find a very serious look on his face.

"yeah, i'll just call fred to tell him i'm feeling sick and don't care about the championship anymore, that's definitely the best choice i have." sarcasm dripped out of your words as jude rolled his eyes.

"just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you have to give me an attitude." it was your turn to roll your eyes. you quietly got under the sheets and muttered a barely audible 'goodnight', clearly not having the energy to argue with him tonight.

as you closed your eyes you felt jude turn around to wrap you in his arms around you.

"i'm just worried for my girl, that's all." he said, softly kissing your hair. you turned around to face him, having to trace his face before finding his lips because of the darkness of the room, and pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

"i appreciate your concern, i really do. but this race is so much more important than a silly headache. i'll be okay." you kissed him again for good measure. "you're gonna have to trust me with this one."

"i always trust you." the two of you talked some more before falling asleep in each other's arms.

—

the only thing you could think of when you stepped out of your car was your bed. as expected the race had been particularly draining and truth be told, you didn't know if you would be able to stand on the podium in your state. you managed to score a satisfying p2, well it would have been more satisfying if charles wasn't standing on the highest step of the podium, with a 4-point difference before catching on you in the driver's standing.

when the whole team congratulated you on your results, it felt like you were in a fever dream, barely making out what was real and what wasn't. you didn't even notice jude talking to you before he snapped his fingers in front of you.

"are you okay ? should i take you to the medics ?" he asked in a worried tone.

"i'm alright... just need to get through the podium." which did not happen. you ran off stage as soon as the italian anthem stopped ringing in your ears. it was all too much, the heat, the noise, the exhaustion, the pressure. all too much to handle for you.

when you joined jude, he was already talking with your pr manager, telling her you wouldn't be able to do any media work right now. it was the truth, not a petty lie to get away with it. you genuinely felt even more lightheaded (if that was possible) at the sole thought of having to go through a dozen interviews.

seeing you barely standing straight must have conceived her, so soon enough you were on your way back to the hotel in a cab jude called.

you quietly laid your head on jude's shoulder. he barely said a word to you since the podium incident, only asking how you felt, if you drank enough water, and how many hours of sleep you had. you watched him as he typed things on his phone in total silence. you wondered if he was mad at you for putting yourself in such a situation or only worried. regardless, you felt a pang of sadness in your heart thinking about it before drifting off.

—

as soon as jude opened your hotel room's door, you felt your legs giving up on you, your hands found the wall to steady yourself. you could hear jude's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying, like you were underwater.

you tried making it to the bed, but you fell down on your knees and just propped your back against it, waiting a minute before getting up, to get your head to stop spinning uncontrollably.

"y/n. are you okay ?" you felt your boyfriend kneeling down next to you and could finally understand his words, but it felt like they were resonating in your brain, only worsening your headache.

"i'm fine, i'm fine... i just need a moment." you didn't want to worry jude more than he already was, although the weak tone of your voice alarmed him more than anything. you felt him shift around you, and caught a glimpse of him coming back from the bathroom before your eyes shut.

when you woke up, you were laid on the bed with a wet cloth on your forehead. and the first thing you saw was a wide-eyed jude handing you a glass of water.

"i thought about making you drink when you were... asleep? but i didn't want to drown you. so i waited for you to wake up." he was talking fast, too fast for you to fully understand his nonsense.

"hello to you too." your voice was still weak but you felt much better than at the race track. you quickly took a few sips of water before jude tried drowning you for good.

"what's that ?" you asked pointing at the cloth still laying on your face.

"some website said that's what you're supposed to do when your irresponsible girlfriend faints." you hid your face in your pillow at his accusatory words.

"no, but seriously y/n. do you have any idea of how worried i was ? imagine if something wrong happened. god, i knew i shouldn't have let you race..." his words had an angry tone to them and you were confused as to why jude was mad at you over hypothetical scenarios.

"but nothing wrong happened, i even got points. are you not proud of me ?"

"are you being serious right now ? you know i'm always proud of you, points or no points. but you think i'm gonna clap for you after putting yourself in danger like that ?" jude's tone got somewhat angrier but he kept going.

"fuck, when you fainted i already saw myself explaining everything to your mum. you can't take those risks, especially when you drive a fast car for a living. you can understand that right ?"

you felt tears well up in your eyes at his words, thinking about how worried he must have been this whole time.

"i'm sorry, it's just... i've been thinking about the championship a lot. i guess that clouded my judgment." you wiped away your tears quickly, before jude could notice them but it was too late.

"hey, hey, hey... you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, you probably spent a worse weekend than i did anyway. i'm not mad at you but at the situation, alright ?" his fingers stroke the wet spots under your eyes, wiping what was left of your tears away. "i'm proud of you, and happy for your points. but you're not winning a championship by making your dangerous job even more dangerous." his voice and his eyes were soft and you felt your chest get significantly warmer.

"you're right..." the room got silent for a couple seconds at your words.

"what was that ? i couldn't hear you babe" jude had a shit-eating grin on his face and you knew exactly what he wanted, and it almost made you physically sick to give him this satisfaction.

"i said... you'reright." you tried getting those terrible words out as fast as you could, but he wasn't happy with that.

"mmh mmh, that won't do... say it nice and loud for me love." you felt your face heat up, both in fluster and embarrassment at his words.

"you're right." your words had a defeated tone to them, but jude decided that would be enough by the way he didn't taunt you anymore.

he moved and got under the covers with you, even though you were gonna have to get up again as you were both still dressed. he just wanted to share this little moment of peace with you.

"you know, it's crazy how you drive the fastest car in the world but can't survive singapore's heat for a weekend." you playfully elbowed jude's ribs at his teasing.

you were grateful to have someone like jude to support you and your intense lifestyle, but also someone to talk about silly little things, legs tangled under the sheets.

[ineedhaikyu]

Chapter Five

Summary: Day 3 of Nationals was unknown territory for Karasuno as the top 16 teams continue to climb their way to the top. As Karasuno’s ace, Asahi, could feel the weight of everyone’s expectations on his shoulders and while he knows he’s not completely alone to carry the burden, Asahi found comfort in the memories of the person who became his solace.

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: Some spoilers from manga series. Major fluff. Slow burn. I don’t own anything. Haikyu belongs to Furudate Haruichi!

A/N: I’m so sorry for not posting a new chapter in these last five months. But it has been a difficult time for me. I’ve been promoted at my job where it requires so much supervision and paperwork. Obviously the pay is okay, but it takes a toll on my mental state. It’s a constant state of anxiety each day, and I feel like no one takes me seriously. Each day I try to write this series but it’s like all my motivation is just gone. Again, I’m so sorry for disappointing you guys.

(Y/N) didn’t realize how cold she actually was until she felt the hotel’s heated air enveloped her like a brand new blanket. But the cold didn’t bother her in the slightest. Not when she had a great time spending with Asahi that made her all warm and fuzzy inside. They talked, laughed, and even made promises for the future. 

Azumane Asahi made her feel all sorts of feelings. Excitement, nervousness, flustered and everything in between. He may be over six feet tall and may look intimidating but he was the  sweetest guy she has ever met in her life. 

If there was ever a time to believe in all the love stories and love songs, it would definitely be now. It was ironic because she always believed it was an exaggeration whenever the female protagonist would talk about her feelings for her love interest. The same thing could be said when she listened to a popular love song. In fact, she thought her friends were crazy whenever a specific song sung by a well-known American singer came on the radio. She didn’t see what the big deal was but she’ll admit it was a catchy song.

(Y/N) chuckled at the irony of it all. Maybe those books and songs about love were on to something… 

“Miss? Are you feeling alright?” The hotel concierge asked from behind her desk.

The manager snapped out of her thoughts and managed a convincing smile. “Oh, sorry! Yes, I’m fine.”

The older woman relaxed and smiled in return. “That’s good. If you don’t mind me asking, was that your boyfriend you were speaking to outside?”

(Y/N) felt her cheeks warm up under her scarf at the question. Asahi wasn’t her boyfriend but she wasn’t against the idea. “He’s a friend.”

“Oh, I see.” The lady smiled warmly when she recalled the time she met the love of her life when they were young. She can tell that this young girl is going through the same ocean of emotions she went through at one time. She looked down at the ring around her finger, a symbol of love she shared with her husband of twenty years. “Well, he seems to have a kind soul.”

“He does.” (Y/N) confirmed. “He’s a gentle giant with a glass heart. He’s the ace of his team but he keeps doubting himself a lot. I just wish there was a way I can help him… Help him see that he’s already amazing even with his flaws.” She mumbled the last phrase to herself. “At least to me…”

The hotel concierge mentally cooed at how adorable this high school student was being. If she was her grandchild, she would make her march right back out there and confess her feelings to that boy. Instead, she cleared her throat and gave the young girl what she thought was wise advice, “Dearie, this is just a thought, but perhaps instead of using your words, you should use action. Actions speak louder than words. After all, boys can be oblivious at times, especially high school boys.”

(Y/N) perked up, her eyes seemed to glimmer with hope. “Use action, huh? Hmm. I guess that could work.” She looked back at the older woman and bowed down in respect. “Arigato!”

She turned around and made her way to the elevator. Luckily, there was one still available but it seemed the universe decided she had enough luck for today as the metal door began to slide closed. 

Or maybe there was still hope because her eyes caught a person wearing a bright red track jacket inside the elevator.

“Please hold the elevator!” (Y/N) called out to the person as she sprinted her way in. Once inside, she sighed in relief before turning to the person. “Thanks for that. I owe you one.”

“I-It’s n-nothing.” The guy squeaked out a reply. He cleared his throat, hoping it was enough to get rid of the stutter in his voice. Though it only made his voice squeak at a higher octave as he asked, “W-What f-floor?”

“Fifteen- Oh, you too, huh? That’s cool.” She mentally kicked herself for saying that last part but she didn’t show it. 

“U-Um, y-yeah, so c-cool.”

They rode the elevator in silence for the first five floors. (Y/N) decided to pass the time by texting Kita and Aran that she was on her way back. She smiled to herself when Aran began to send a barrage of questions, one after another. She shifted from one foot to the other and the simple motion was enough to cause a strand of hair to fall in front of her face. Annoyed, (Y/N) tucked the strand behind her ear and continued on with her texts.

But in the corner of her eye, the guy right next to her kept stealing glances at her. He was fidgety as if he was scared of her. His hands acted like they couldn’t be still for five seconds. They were either fidgeting by his side, squirming inside his track jacket, or running his fingers through his dyed mohawk. 

‘Oh well. Maybe he’s just socially awkward. He looks like a high schooler like me, albeit a bit younger than me. Perhaps a second-year?’

Lost in her own thoughts, (Y/N) didn’t realize the effect she was having on Nekoma’s ace. 

Yamamoto didn’t know how to act. He felt as if he was breathing funny right next to the very pretty girl. He could feel his heart beating in his ears and it was getting louder and louder with each minute that passed by. The soft glow from her phone illuminated her facial features and he had to swallow the hot ball of nerves in his throat. This was exactly how he felt when he saw Karasuno’s beautiful manager for the first time.

‘Does she realize how beautiful she looks?’ Yamamoto asked himself, stealing another glance at the girl right next to him. ‘I wonder what’s her name? What school does she belong to? She has to be here for the Spring Tournament, right? Or maybe she’s here to cheer on her boyfriend? Because there’s no way a girl as pretty as her could be single. Lucky bastard!’

Apparently the last thought was enough to let out a small gruff escape his lips and the noise caught her attention.

“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” She asked kindly, turning off her phone giving Yamamoto her full attention.

“Er, n-no?” 

“Oh, okay then.” (Y/N) gave him a sympathetic smile. “My bad.”

“W-WAIT!” Nekoma’s ace all but shouted at her, causing her to jump. “A-Are you here for the tournament?”

(Y/N) smiled. “I was. I’m the manager for my team. We just lost today’s match though. My name’s (L/N) (Y/N). I’m from Inarizaki.”

“Yamamoto Taketora.” He tried to subtly puff out chest as he pointed to himself and confidently said, “I’m Nekoma’s one-and-only ace.”

He hoped his title of ace would impress her. Maybe give him a compliment or two. Or maybe even admire him for having such an important role. 

“Nekoma? Oh! From Tokyo, right?”

Yamamoto felt like he was on cloud nine, ten, heck maybe even twenty because the pretty girl knew about his school which means she must know how much of a powerhouse his school is. 

(Y/N) continued. “That means you’re up against Karasuno!”

“Um yeah?” Yamamoto was taken aback at how excited her voice became, especially when Karasuno made its way into the conversation. He had a sinking feeling that she already had a favorite team. “Wait? You said you were from Inarizaki? Didn’t Karasuno- Well, um, beat your team today?”

“Yeah. It was a close match but they won fair and square. Plus, they’re great people. I hope they make it far in this tournament.” (Y/N) then winced and offered an apologetic look. “Not that your team isn’t good, Yamamoto. I’m sure your team is cool too.”

“Thanks but we’ll show you how cool we are tomorrow. Maybe you’ll change your mind on who to cheer for.”

(Y/N) smiled at how confident Yamamoto became in such a short amount of time. He was the complete opposite with his Karasuno counterpart. And while she might sound biased, she thought Asahi was the better ace. 

Still, she didn’t want to crush this guy’s confidence especially when his match is tomorrow. Luckily, the elevator came to a slow stop on the fifteenth floor. 

“Well, good luck tomorrow, Yamamoto. I think you’re going to need it.” 

And with that, the Inarizaki manager made her way down the corridor and entered her hotel room. She didn’t realize how her words seemed to cast a spell on the wing spiker. Yamamoto stood there, almost rooted to the spot. Soft elevator music filled the air but the only thing that held his attention was the Inarizaki beauty that wished him luck, minus the part where she was obviously a fan of Karasuno.

Yamamoto sighed, clearly frustrated. “Man! Why does Karasuno get all the cute girls?!”

With a raging fire burning inside of him, he didn’t notice the elevator doors closing on his floor until it was too late.

~

Asahi sneezed the moment he entered his room and for a split moment he felt his stomach drop. Was he getting sick? He hoped that wasn’t the case. He was just about to brush it off as a simple sneeze when he remembered a common superstition about sneezing and how it meant someone was talking about you.

A shiver of mixed emotions traveled up his spine when he thought of her. 

(L/N) (Y/N). The Inarizaki volleyball manager. The girl he fell for since day one. One of the few people who didn’t flinch or run away from him because of the way he looked. Instead, she took the time to get to know him, listened to his worried ramblings, and even gave him meaningful advice that helped him through his anxiety.

It might be wishful thinking but Asahi hoped she was thinking of him just as he was with her. And while it’s only been a few minutes since his conversation with (Y/N), he longed to see her again. A pang of disappointment made its way to his heart. By tomorrow morning, she’ll be gone, returning back home with the rest of her team.

‘At least, I can still text her. (Y/N) did say she would visit Miyagi one day. And I can pay a visit to Hyōgo too.’

The small ray of hope shined a bit brighter on the future as it was enough for Asahi to smile. 

“Oh? You’re back, I see.” The familiar voice of the innkeeper brought him back to reality. The woman gave him a brief smile before asking, “The girl you were speaking to must have been your girlfriend, wasn’t it? You two looked adorable together. I must admit, I didn’t peg you to be a romantic when I first saw you but you certainly proved me wrong.”

Asahi’s mind went into a frenzy upon hearing the woman’s words. He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortably warm and stutter out. “W-What?”

The female innkeeper chuckled at how obvious the high school boy was being. If he wasn’t the epitome of a boy in love, then she didn't know what else could be. 

“Oh, don’t be so modest!” She told him. “Girls love nothing more when their boyfriends make the effort to be romantic. I say you did well. Dare I say, confident even. Your friends were trying to peek and listen in but I sent them back to their rooms. I’m sure a couple like yourselves wanted privacy.”

Asahi opened his mouth to correct her whole perception of him and (Y/N) but for some reason he didn’t. Instead, he thanked the woman with a bow.

The innkeeper smiled at him. “Keep it up, young man! And good luck on tomorrow’s match! Make your girlfriend proud of you!”

Stuttering out another thank you, Asahi left the small lobby and made his way to his room.

“Hey guys! I’m back-” 

“ASAHI’S BACK!” 

The volleyball ace could feel the metaphorical spotlight shine on him when he was surrounded by his friends, each of them asking all sorts of questions.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“How was it?”

“Hinata said you guys were holding hands, is that true?”

“Did you kiss her?”

“Asked her to be your girlfriend?”

“When’s the first date?”

Overwhelmed, Asahi was grateful when Suga and Daichi put an end to the interrogation. They led him to the outdoor balcony where they had a good view of several illuminated skyscrapers. His eyes automatically looked at the sky, hoping to see a single constellation or at the very least the North Star. But he was greeted once again by the cloud-filled sky. 

The disappointment didn’t stay too long when he let his eyes wander to the exact spot where he and (Y/N) had their conversation. He smiled to himself when he saw the outdoor string lights that helped serve a warm atmosphere; he didn’t blame the innkeeper for thinking they were a couple. 

He just wished it was true.

Like clockwork, he felt Daichi and Suga flank on either side of him. He didn’t have to look at them to know they wore identical knowing looks. Instead, he placed his arms against the balcony and waited for the questions to start.

“Sooo?” Suga began, grinning up at his friend. 

“How did it go?” Daichi asked. 

“It went okay.” Asahi said as he rested his chin on his arms. “We talked about today’s match. I wanted to make sure (Y/N) was actually okay.”

“And was she?” Suga asked, genuinely curious since he knew Asahi was worried about it earlier today.

Asahi nodded. “You were right all along, Suga.”

“See? You had nothing to worry about! That just goes to show you should count on me for relationship advice! What else? I need more details.”

“Calm down, Suga.” Daichi laughed at his friend’s barely contained excitement. “Didn’t you learn anything when the innkeeper scolded us earlier?”

“That was you guys?” Asahi asked them with a chuckle. “I thought Nishinoya and Tanaka would pull that stunt. But you guys?”

“Hey! In our defense, we… Well, we… Daichi, tell him our defense. You’re good at defense.”

Daichi rolled his eyes at Suga’s poor excuse. “We were nosy. There. That’s our defense. But someone just had to be extra extra nosy-” He gave the vice captain a quick glare. “-That the innkeeper caught up on what we were doing and sent us back.”

Asahi laughed at his friends as he could only imagine that moment. He replayed his conversation with (Y/N) once more and a soft smile played on his lips. “She wished us luck for tomorrow.”

“Really? That’s nice of her. Is she coming to watch our match? I bet you would want her to cheer you on from the stands.”

It was a nice thought but Asahi knew better.

With a heavy sigh and an equally heavy heart, he told them how (Y/N) and her team were leaving tomorrow morning. He waited for his friends to say something that would cheer him up but was greeted with silence. Until, Daichi spoke what was on everyone’s mind.

“Well, that sucks.”

“Yeah.” Asahi couldn’t agree more with his situation. “Am I a bad person for not wanting (Y/N) to go back home?”

“Course not!” Suga exclaimed loudly. “I think it’s normal. I mean it’s not like you have no support. You have us, the team, the coaches, and the fans.”

“But it’s different when it comes to (Y/N),” Daichi suggested, catching on to what Suga was doing. “She already means a lot to you, huh?”

Asahi felt his ears turn red and he wished that his hair was in a low bun to hide the obvious giveaway. Still, what they were saying was the truth. He would have liked nothing more for (Y/N) to be there tomorrow, cheering him on. He wanted her to see that their agreement still stands. A promise where he’ll do everything he can to help his team win. 

It’s hard to explain it but he always had trouble seeing himself as the team’s ace. Obviously, he can see why he’s the ace as he dealt with persistent blocks, less-than-ideal sets, or nasty serves most of the time. But sometimes, when his anxiety was too much, he had doubts about his abilities. He couldn’t voice this to Daichi and Suga or to anyone on the team, he hated being an inconvenience.

He was- No. He is grateful that he met (Y/N). Someone who understood him and his problems. Someone who sees more than the title of ace on his shoulders. Someone who took the time and effort to get to know him.

“Yeah. She does… More than she actually knows.”

Asahi didn’t notice the way his fellow third-years shared a knowing look behind his back but if he did he wouldn’t care. He was a storm of emotions on the inside. It was almost funny how this new year was treating him and it hasn’t been a full week yet. Whatever the case, he counted his lucky stars to have made it to Nationals. 

~ The Next Morning ~

The sun’s morning rays were the first thing that greeted him when Asahi opened his eyes. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t back in Miyagi, sleeping in his own room and yet it hit him all at once of all the events that happened in the last 48 hours. 

Asahi sighed, swinging his arm over his eyes and letting himself smile when he thought about her. (L/N) (Y/N), the third-year manager of the Inarizaki volleyball team. In the few encounters they’ve had, she never failed to bring a new perspective, which he found refreshing compared to his usual anxiety-inducing outlook on life. 

His heart began to beat a bit faster when he remembered every little detail from last night. How she tugged her scarf a bit tighter each time a breeze blew by. How the snowflakes danced around her, while a few of them were caught in her hair. In his eyes, the snowflakes looked like mini diamonds in her hair, sparkling each time they caught the light of the outdoor winter illuminations. Or how she would tuck her hair behind her ear whenever she got excited- Wait… Now that he remembered that detail, Asahi recalled (Y/N) did that a lot during their conversation last night. She smiled a lot too… And the hug she gave him, wishing him luck on today’s match…

Feeling the tips of his ears begin to warm up, Asahi sat up on his futon. His hair tickled the back of his neck, a few strands made their way in front of his face. He let out a yawn before running his hand through his long hair. And by that simple action, Asahi was reminded how sore his body actually was. Especially his shoulder. Despite his body begging for more rest, the ace slowly but surely got up and headed to the bathroom. 

He was greeted by his own reflection in the mirror. His long brown hair was definitely giving him a wild look. He’ll have to make sure his hair looks decent today. After all, he didn’t want to look savage wild. More like cool wild… If that made any sense…

Asahi let out a quiet groan when he removed his shirt, the very shirt (Y/N) bought him when they first met. After carefully folding his treasured shirt with great care, Asahi looked at himself in the mirror where his eyes immediately found a three-inch bruise on his shoulder, a reminder how intense Ojiro Aran’s spike was. He gently pressed his fingers to the injury and grimaced at how sensitive it was. The ice pack he used yesterday did its job but it looks like he might have to ask Kiyoko for another one. He looked at the rest of his toned body, hoping there weren’t any other major bruises like the one on his shoulder. To his relief, there wasn’t any except for the minor bruises on his forearms and biceps. Bending his arm back and forth a few times, Asahi noticed how large his biceps were. Have they always been this big? They weren’t obscenely large but it was enough to compliment the rest of his body. He looked… Strong. 

‘Does (Y/N) think I look good? I mean, she did call me cute last night. So that’s a good thing. But what if she was being nice. What if she likes guys with huge muscles?’ Asahi frowned, before shaking the thought away. ‘Maybe I should work out more...’

Asahi began his morning routine and while his body moved in automatic motion, his mind kept replaying what (Y/N) told him last night.

‘First, you can stop feeling bad. I’m okay, really. And second, if you really want to make me feel better then take the win. Take it and do the same thing tomorrow. Play each set and win some more. I promise if you do that, I’ll be more than okay because I’ll be rooting for you.’

‘Win the next match for us.’

‘Think positive! Remember you’re not alone. You have your friends and the rest of your team that you can rely on. And if it helps, you have me too.’

‘I might not be there in person but I’ll be cheering for you.’

‘You got this Asahi. I know you do.’

Asahi closed his eyes and took a deep breath, replaying (Y/N)’s words on loop while also imagining the warmth of her hug, the sincerity in her eyes, and genuine kindness in her smile. After a minute, the ace opened his eyes. He made eye contact with the mirror’s reflection of himself.

“You can do this, Asahi.” 

~

When he returned to his room, he was surprised to see most of his team already up. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with nerves. It was the third day of the Spring Tournament and if what Coach Ukai told them was true then today was going to be hell because both the third round and the quarterfinals are to be played today. 

So if they win against Nekoma, an already great team, then they will have to compete with another powerhouse school who most likely have been to Nationals each year. 

“Morning, Asahi.” Suga greeted as he was making his way to the bathroom. 

“Morning, Suga. Are you ready for today?”

“Give me half an hour. Nishinoya kept me up with his snoring and I think Tanaka was talking in his sleep. I think he was dreaming of being in a match because he kept saying ‘nice receive’. I still slept okay but I woke up again at around 5 A.M.”

“Why?” Asahi asked. 

“So you know how my futon is close to the outlet where we all charge our phones?” Suga asked, a yawn quickly following afterward.

“Yeah.”

“Well, someone’s phone went off, waking me up way too early! And you know how I am, when someone wakes me up before I actually have to.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re not really a morning person.”

“Exactly!” Suga mumbled as he tried to rub away the sleep from his eyes. “I didn’t even care whose phone it was, I just grabbed it and put it on silent mode. No one should be calling anyone that early in the morning.”

‘Well, there goes my plan to call (Y/N) right now.’

Suga made his way to the bathroom, leaving Asahi to wonder what his next should be. Perhaps he could just check his phone for any messages he may have missed… Maybe… Just maybe he might be lucky to find a text from her.

The moment his phone lit up was when he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet because it was there on his phone’s screen that he, in fact, did receive a text from (Y/N). He quickly tapped on the message and waited with a rapidly beating heart and bated breath to see what she had to say.

New Message from (Y/N) (5:20 AM)

Asahi! I’m so sorry for texting you so early in the morning. I tried to call you but I guess you disconnected or something? Again, sorry about that. I probably woke you up and you need all the sleep you can get for today’s matches. I just wanted to talk to you but I guess this message will have to do. 

First of all, I really wanted to be there and wish you luck. But I’m sure you and your team will give your opponents a hard time. 

Right now, I’m sitting on our team’s bus, getting ready to go back to Hyōgo. The coaches are taking their sweet time though but for some reason I’m okay with that. I don’t want to leave Tokyo… Not yet at least. 

Anyways, this message is getting too long even though I have so much more to say to you, but I’m sure you need to focus. Just remember that it’s okay to be nervous. You’re not carrying the burden alone, okay? You have your team. 

P.S. Is it weird that I’m still looking at the sky for stars? Obviously, I’m not an expert like yourself but I think little-kid-you would be proud of me. Good luck. I believe in you.

Asahi couldn’t help but smile widely when he read the last part of (Y/N)’s message. He felt like his whole body was glowing with positive energy. Maybe he can do this- No. He will do this. For himself. For the team. And for her.

He checked the time and realized that it had been almost two hours since (Y/N) had sent her message. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Asahi clicked her contact number and waited to hear her voice. He counted each second that passed by as his phone dialed her number. Ten seconds have passed when his phone connected the call. There was a brief shuffle and Asahi wondered if he woke her up. 

“Hello?”

This was definitely not (Y/N). In fact, it sounded familiar. Asahi wracked his brain to try to match the voice with a face. It had to be one of the Miya twins. But which one?

“Uh, hi? Um, is… Is (Y/N)-san there?” 

“Yeah, she’s here. Who’s askin’?” 

“Err. This is Azumane Asahi. I’m trying to return her call-”

“Azumane? Why does that name sound so familiar? Oh! Wait! Karasuno’s samurai, right?”

Asahi let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re one of the Miya twins, right?”

“Guess which one, samurai. If you answer right, I’ll wake up sleeping beauty-”

“You’re Osamu.” Asahi wasn’t sure in the beginning but he was absolutely sure that this was the calmer twin. “I think your brother would have ended the call after knowing it was me.”

“Atsumu can be an ass sometimes but he means well. It’s just that… (Y/N) is more than just our manager to us. She’s our friend. We want her to be happy and from what I’ve seen you’ve been doing a good job at that. Especially what she did last night after you guys had your little talk.”

Asahi furrowed his brow. “What do you mean-”

“‘Samu? Who are you talking to with my phone?”

“In my defense-”

“You have no defense.” Asahi smirked at (Y/N)’s quick retort. He can only imagine what kind of expression she was wearing. He wondered if (Y/N) was the kind of person that loved her sleep. Was she an early bird or a night owl? “Hello? Asahi, is that you?”

Her voice sounded soft-spoken yet rushed, as if some cosmic misfortune might happen to prevent them from talking. Which to be fair wasn’t so far-fetched but hearing her voice once more made it all worth it.

“(Y/N)! Hey!” He cleared his throat, trying to sound somewhat calm. “I saw that I missed your call but I was asleep and-”

“That’s completely my bad, Asahi. I should have known better than to call you, especially on a day like today but I couldn’t help it.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m actually glad you called and thanks for the message you sent. It helped a lot.”

There was a sigh of relief before she spoke again. “I hoped it did. So how are you feeling?”

“Better than yesterday.” He confessed. “I don’t feel like I need stomach medicine before the match.” 

(Y/N) giggled and Asahi swore his heart stirred around his chest. “Well, that’s a good start. How is everyone else? Is everyone ready to play two matches today?”

His brain short-circuited. He couldn’t find the ability to talk till he heard (Y/N) call out his name. “Two matches? Isn’t it just one match?”

There was silence on the other end of the line and Asahi hoped he heard her wrong. He already had a small pit in his stomach going against Nekoma today but if what (Y/N) says is true then…

“I… I thought you already knew.”

“So today…”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that’s why they call day three of Nationals, Hell Day. The third round and the quarterfinals are going to be played today.”

“... I think I’m going to need that stomach medicine.”

“You can do this, Asahi. Believe in yourself.”

Asahi smiled to himself at her words. He hoped when the moment comes, he can share her confidence. He just hoped that moment was soon.

“I wish you were still here.” He admitted, wanting to let her know how he felt (at least somewhat). “You guys must be halfway back to Hyōgo.”

“Well… About that-”

“Everybody! Downstairs! We need to be there early to practice!” Coach Ukai’s authoritative voice filled the room before he left.

“Sounds like your coach is getting antsy.” 

Asahi laughed. “Tell me about it. I think he was up all night watching old Nekoma matches.”

“He’s not the only one. Nekoma’s libero is very skilled. So be careful with him even if you spike the ball past the blockers. Oh! Nekoma’s captain is going to be so annoying with his blocks but don’t get discouraged when you get blocked. Try to do some wipes or rebounds if you can. Wait! I have my notes in my other bag. Don’t hang up!”

Asahi had his mouth open the whole time (Y/N) started giving out pointers. Did she do research on Nekoma prior to Nationals? She had to, right? Just in case Inarizaki played against Nekoma, right? Because there was no way she went through the effort of researching-

“She did it for you.” It was Osamu again. “Stayed up late last night. Watching Nekoma’s matches over and over again. Said she wanted to help your team but I think we both know she did it mainly for you.”

“I-I don’t… I swear I didn’t make her do that.” Asahi said earnestly.

“Course not. You’ll see soon enough (Y/N) is the type of person you’d want in your life. Shit, she’s coming back. See you later, samurai.”

“Later?” Asahi didn’t have time to question the twin’s words when he heard the phone being picked up.

“Hey, Asahi, are you still there?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

‘With you.’

[pyschedtrickster]

TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

[partyfailure]

Afton family headcanons? Emily family headcanons? (Love your art and blog!!!💙)

Thank you anon! I’m glad you like my stuff

I have MANY HEADCANONS for these dysfunctional families so I’ll pick up my favorites and put them into character ‘catalogs’ to be easier. First Aftons then Emilys.

William Afton

William has an older sister named Jane who takes care of Michael once he’s off the run from the police. Here’s some doodles of her (clearly inspired by the movie’s Aunt, but she’s not so bitter)

Met Henry at college. Henry was a very reclusive student and William saw artistic potential in him. They were classmates in their programming classes!

He is surprisingly a very charming and funny guy, but most of his ‘jokes’ are either outright bullying or picking out insecurities of others (specially people he doesn’t like)

Had a very superstitious upbringing, but he’s not much religious himself, although he does take part in religious ceremonies and lets it affect his ‘sense of morality’

Had a childhood pet rabbit named Springy, it was the main inspiration for Springbonnie

Has come to a point where he cannot not use his glasses or else he can’t see anything

He is left handed and a very good artist. His children take after him

Is a TERRIBLE driver and doesn’t use the seatbelt

Fredbear’s was Henry’s family establishment, William took part in as the business manager later on.

Strangely jealous of Charlie, even if he finds ridiculous to think a little girl would be his nemesis

Not sure if after he flees he’ll would be declared dead or missing. Either way, he’s under the allias of Steve Raglan, a financial lawyer, and he would go into abandoned Freddy’s location to steal robotic parts and melt down into remnant, to then inject into the funtimes.

(Now cw for abuse mention, narcissistic family dynamics and death)

I think their family essentially mirrors the dynamics of a narcissistic family, but I think there’s no ‘golden child’, and all of the kids are on a constant pendulum of scapegoat, lost child and golden child depending on William’s needs. In addition, Clarice fits the role of the enabler parent, but has her own twists of narcissistic behavior, and tends to woe herself way too much.

Sees his family (and even Henry) as trophies he was worth having, and obstacles like (grown-up) Michael, Charlie and Cassidy are his main targets to eliminate.

Doesn’t like when people pick up on his kids because it hurts his ego. His kids are expansions of himself and so he expects them to act out whenever something’s bothering them, no matter how ‘small’ it can be. Yet, he berates them when their reactions get out of control. That makes the Afton kids extremely sensitive, with a short temper and bossy behavior.

Has a very specific deprivation and excess of love system to keep his children at line. William treats them equally bad until one of them does something he judges worthy of his attention, and so, begins showering said child with love, attention and admiration, ultimately making the other two jealous. Said act can make all three fight with each other, but they are unaware/used to that system and William relishes on that fact.

He didn’t mourn Evan’s death the same way a normal parent would. I think his death was a catalyst for him to excuse his behavior, and then have a reason to take out his anger and other frustrations (some that didn’t come with the loss of a child) in others, most of his targets obviously being his family, Henry and coworkers.

Finds out about possession after he spots different behavior in the Marionette, relating it to Charlie’s death. He tries to recreate her possession in the other animatronics with the MCI children right after. It doesn’t work, and so William catalogues there are different kinds of possession.

His separation with his wife begins because the police has their eyes on him. Since William doesn’t want to lose his things, he tries everything in his power to not lose them in the divorce. In this process, he promises Elizabeth a present if she’s willing to help him out (which is to witness against Clarice in court) and he ends up winning her and Michael’s custody. As he wins, William begins the construction of the Funtimes; at first with no kidnapping intentions but that idea grows as he sees potential in experimenting and possibly recreating Charlie’s possession of the Marionette.

Manipulates Michael to gather remnant in fnaf2’s location for him but he fails, and is almost charged for damage of property and identity theft as Fritz Smith. Years later, long considered dead, William contacts Michael once and tells him to go to SL’s bunker.

What makes him possess Springbonnie is because his death was inside the suit. That method makes the soul become more aware and less controle by the AI. The same way happened to Cassidy and Charlie, who died right into their respective robots, but not with the MCI, who were already dead by the time their bodies were put into the suits. His death wasn’t planned though—it was a frenzy act he did in an attempt to scare the ghosts away

After fnaf3’s fire, Springtrap manages to escape with dangerous damages, and so he needed to find other parts to reconstruct himself. Those parts come from an old, equally damaged golde Freddy suit, that he merged and so brought Cassidy back (I saw a theory a long time ago about this, I’ll try to find it! Will edit later). How Michael found out about him was because they were rumors around this rotting creature wandering and attacking people in the town.

William dies in UCN’s torment, but Glitchtrap is not actually William Afton but rather a representation of him, who shares the same principles, morality and behavior

Okay I think those are enough for William. The other’s now!

Michael Afton

I don’t draw that often but he has central heterocromia! The centre of both of his blue eyes is brown.

Broke his arm once because he was trying to do skate tricks. Never touched his skateboard ever again

Really likes Graffiti art, definitely did some in abandoned buildings with his friends

The masked bullies were his only friends :( Jeremy is the one he kept more contact with, but after the death of Cassidy (his sister), Jeremy took out his anger on Michael and they had a big fight about it. They didn’t see each other ever since (and Jeremy doesn’t know Michael is Fritz Smith).

Was very close to his mother, and he felt bad for her.

Had a tendency to be a reclusive child, and that was aggravated after everyone’s death. It didn’t help that after everything William began homeschooling him once they moved out, basically locking Michael inside his house.

Michael feels bad for the death of Elizabeth as if it was his fault. It wasn’t, because he wasn’t even together with her during the opening

Michael likes Henry but thinks he can be a tryhard. As an adult, he resents Henry for never helping him or his siblings as he knew about William’s behavior, but then feels guilty because he knows Henry had his own issues and William was his only friend.

Kinda wishes he listened to his gut feeling that told him his father was bad. He was too alienated to ever confront him though

Was a mechanic engineer but didn’t want to act out in that area. After his death, he becomes a paranormal investigator and constructs his equipment

Helpy was made by Henry as one of ffps’s mascots but Michael made it sentient because he thought it was funny

Michael listens to Gregory ramble about fnaf for hours on end just to then tell him he believes in DreamTheory (he knows it gets Gregory angry)

He goes by Eggs Benedict or ‘Mike’ during ffps & fnaf sb

People thought he had an incurable skin condition (he would say a type of leprosy) until he created the illusion disk to make him look less rotten.

When he was a teen he denied liking Foxy’s pink design. As an adult, he loves it.

Townsfolk referred to him as their personal Ghostbuster.

Elizabeth Afton

Is the middle child. She is a very energetic and bossy girl, but in her home she is eerily quiet

William and most of the adults don’t tend to take her seriously

If she grew to be an adult, she would’ve become goth and work as a tattoo artist

Loves rollerblading! Was beginning to learn how to use them before the opening of CBPW

Has a lot of freckles in her skin

Is very reckless with her toys. Like, they give her cuteness aggression

Definitely had a dollhouse and forced the other boys to play tea party with her (Evan liked more)

LOVES clowns and circus related stuff

Has a really sweet-tooth

Hair is always long and silky. Wanted to bleach it redder to resemble Circus Baby

Is jealous of Charlie as well, because she envies having Henry as a father. She doesn’t know that Henry also has his own problems too and Charlie deals with them

Gets along better with Michael than with Evan. After the bite, she was scared of him, but upon seeing Charlie’s death and the other kids missing she grew afraid of being the next one, so she tries to trust Michael again

After dying to Circus Baby, her soul was blended with the AI. Being ejected from Ennard and reconstructing herself as ScrapBaby manage to give her more will to overpower the AI, and while it’s the soul of a little girl, it is corrupted by murderer robot tendencies.

Evan Afton

Full name is Christopher Evan Afton, but he hates being referred as Chris or any variants (and I personally like to pronounce Evan as ee-van, as if it where the Pokémon JEHEIW)

Youngest child. Would have grown to be tallest of the three during his teen years

Loves watching cartoons and drawing

Also loves stuff related to airplanes and spaceships

William throws Freddy’s merchandise at him, so everything he owns is related to Freddy’s (when they are not Michael’s old clothes)

The children of the neighborhood were the ones who came up with the nickname Crying Child, and sometimes people would legitimately call him that when they didn’t know his name

Becomes a wanderer spirit. Gets angrier because of Cassidy but he kinda loses a bit of himself. FNAF WORLD is Charlie’s attempt to piece together his soul and identity

If he grew up, he would’ve become an aeronautic engineer

What made him so scared of the robots was witnessing William (or an employee) suffer a Springlock failure - plus Michael teasing him about it made it worse

Clarice Balarezo

She is Mrs. Afton! She met William during his sessions in physiotherapy after having a mild accident with a springlock suit when it was in prototype

Had a dream of becoming a professional ballerina but she sprained her ankle so badly she was unable to dance anymore.

She is Brazilian. The Afton kids and William know a bit of Portuguese because of her

I think she would doodle on a notebook during phone calls? I love when moms do that

William asked if her blonde har was bleached during their first date.

Has one step-brother who the kids don’t meet because they are not close to each other + he lives in Brazil.

Loves using jewelry, specially big, dangling earrings!

Henry Emily

Henry is a very reclusive person, which made it difficult for him to socialize with others and even with his family. William was basically the one who steered their friendship

Comes from a very big family: he has two older siblings (Jenny and Jim) and three younger brothers, who are triplets (Richie, Jamie and Frankie). They don’t keep much contact with him, only after he is arrested

Comes from a very religious household, and so he is very religious, unlike William

Was married to a woman named Judith, but she passed away after birthing Charlie

Is very scared of losing Charlie, and that manifests in him having her around a the time, fearing that he could lose her at any moment. There’s point where he wouldn’t let her go out afraid she could catch a cold and die

Is a super geek! He collects Marvel and DC comics and figurines as well.

Fredbear’s diner was his family business that was passed down to him. He was the one who wanted to rebrand with animatronic characters

Was the one charged and convicted for the MCI’s case. After the closure of CBPW and the hunt for William began, his family tried to take him out of jail, without much success.

He lost contact with Michael up until ffps, where they would send each other emails unt they managed to team up and execute ffps’ plan.

I kinda make him a morally grey character. Like he is a better father and person than William, but he is flawed as well. Corrupted by his grief and seeking revenge, Henry fails to see that William was the one responsible for everything and how he treated Michael.

He grew pretty much apathetic to Michael’s situation, thinking he would willingly advocate for his father.

Charlie Emily

Charlie is a twin, but her twin brother Sammy died during birth along with their mother. Because of birth complications, Charlie has a very frail health, which can make Henry feel paranoid about any disease she contracts.

Thinks giving presents is the best way to showcase love. She loves to handcraft bracelets, collars and tiaras. She is also learning how to sew and crochet

Would help Henry with character designs

Her birthday is on Halloween day

After Susie, Charlie is the youngest dead child, yet she gained more maturity than most of the others

Had she grown up, Charlie would need to use glasses, and would’ve become a game developer with a cat

Loves the color blue

Has a tooth gap in her teeth

Hair is wavy and short, she doesn’t like having it too long because it takes times to care for it

Loves listening to music and most of the songs she listens to are from Michael’s playlist

Has a pet tarantula named Tallulah! Michael takes care of it despite dreading spiders

Charlie loves William and sees him as family. She envies the Afton kids because in her head, William is a caring father who lets his children do what they want, which is obviously not true.

Sticks with Michael through the Marionette to help him out. Her speech is awfully vague though

Okay I think that’s some of those. THE MAIN ONES! As you can see Evan, Clarice and Henry are the ones who have the least, I’m sorry! I’m developing them though hehe thank you so much! Here’s doodles if you read until the end

Charas and Marionettes and Michaels and Jeremys!

[aspiring-creative-person]

Ok but I was just thinking

Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain

Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.

Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?

But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.

Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂

Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.

Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.

And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.

The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.

Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are

Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims

All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one

And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together

But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.

Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.

Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.

Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.

Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.

Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.