#she was absolutely brilliant

[glitterarygetsit]

Goodbye, Fawn

My brilliant friend Fawn (@esterbrook) died on Friday.

Fawn and I met when I was about 24 and she was about 43, and at the time, foolishly, I thought I was the cool one. I very quickly realised that I was wrong, and that Fawn was who I wanted to be when I grew up. 

She was independent, funny, smart, and passionate. If there was anything she didn’t like, she would do something about it—she campaigned for abortion rights and did phone banking for US elections. She was sharp and kind and pragmatic and gave amazing advice.

Fawn loved stories and history—we met on an archaeological training dig in York, and later bonded over fic in the Sherlock fandom—and was forever turning up old letters and pens and other things that she breathed new life into. She found a pen at a flea market and tracked down its original owner; she chronicled a WWII romance from a box of photographs (https://www.tumblr.com/a-certain-party-i-love).

For the past twenty years, Fawn kept a diary that will now be donated to a women’s history library. I hope one day someone devotes as much care to her memory as she did to other people’s.

I find it hard to think of many people who are leaving as big a legacy as Fawn. Her activism, writing (also wrote the first book on surviving at work when you have depression), and (towards the end of her life) participation in a clinical trial have helped so many people directly, and will continue to reverberate. 

And she’s still not done: even before she was diagnosed with ALS, she arranged to donate her body to forensic science (and wrote about it here: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/28/well/live/my-afterlife-on-the-body-farm.html).

I’m so lucky to have been able to make wonderful memories with Fawn. We went on a road trip in Northumberland and laughed at all the dicks in Chesters Roman fort with her friend Martin, who I would eventually move to Berlin with; she visited us there and baked a derby pie full of bourbon for Friendsgiving. We went to Brittany and got emotional about the Neolithic standing stones at Carnac. We walked all over London and she showed me spots I didn’t even know about despite living there for three years.

In May, I got to visit her in her beloved San Francisco, where she introduced me to tamales, giant redwoods, and her cat Cosmo, successor of Rupert, the fluffiest and most handsome gentleman who accompanied her for most of her last ten years. 

We went over and under the Golden Gate bridge, drank many cups of coffee, roamed around the Castro and Haight-Ashbury, waved across the Pacific, browsed bookshops and made sourdough and did laundry and talked until late into the night.

She was diagnosed with ALS less than a year and a half ago, which was the cruellest fucking thing not only because she deserved so much more time on this earth, but because it made talking, eating and living independently—all things she adored—so much more difficult and eventually impossible. She chose to take advantage of California’s aid in dying law and leave on her own terms, because nobody was ever the boss of Fawn, not even death.

Fawn, I miss you already. I always imagined we would one day be old ladies cackling at dirty jokes together, and it’s a crying shame that the world has been robbed of the wicked glint in your eye at least thirty years too early. You changed my life for the better in so many ways, and I still want to be you when I grow up. I love you. Sleep well.

[nat-20s]

I fucking LOVE that Donna is not immune to being a little starry-eyed over The Doctor in the way that many of us get a little starry-eyed over our best friends but she IS immune to being that way in front of them lmao. Double love that this appears to also be Catherine Tate and David Tennant's dynamic

[possession1981-moving]

JUNG EUN-JI as Lee Mi-jin MISS NIGHT AND DAY (2024) Dir. Lee Hyung-min | Ep. 1

[aaandbackstabbed]

Della: ARE YOU-

Launchpad: fucking.

Della: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Launchpad: fucking.

Della: IDIOT!

Goldie:…now, what was that?

Launchpad: Donald banned Della from swearing so I’m helping her out

[cassmouse]

This is a Future Ramona Flowers appreciation post bc look at her I actually love her so much

[chemblrish]

x

[lunatic-fandom-space]

since ive been enjoying the takarazuka production and the soundtrack of the musical, ive decided to read the scarlet pimpernel and. im six chapters in now and they just wont stop calling percy stupid

[sciderman]

Demanding more lisp

posts in which it is imperative that wade be read with a fruity obnoxious little gay lisp:

[sarascamander]

Albus Severus: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?

Rose: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

[juliette-cai-enthusiast]

Listening to The Good Witch and getting the most insane song envy why didn’t I write this album

[that-butch-archivist]

thank you so much for this blog, as a femme it’s really comforting to see pictures and read poems n things I resonate with as it can be an isolating experience. It’s nice to know there is a place for me and all my femme-ness even if others don’t get it <3

You're very welcome for this blog. It is my pleasure and honor to find for you works that honor your femme-ness. :)

I have found so far in my meanderings that it is strangely hard to find femme-specific content in comparison to butch content--which I imagine maybe you have also noticed? Technically, I'm not sure why that is (though I imagine it's a symptom of femme invisibility), but I hope to correct it as much as I can. There is always a place for femmes. And luckily for both you and me, there's a lot of witty, brilliant femmes out there that have graced us with their essays and art, so there's lots to love. I hope you continue to find and enjoy good femme content. :)

[aroanthy]

everyone reading atr for the first time vs me who read it for the first time three years ago and has been insane about it ever since. (guy who loves the painting motif) the paintings!!!!!!! also i think it’s neat that akio and ruka die again even if juri’s chapter is a bit wobbly wrt dunking on that guy. i dont consider it canon in the strictest sense, primarily bc if touga was 37 years old before he had an ounce of growth it would kill me, but i think its ideas and messaging are largely scrumptious. i deeply enjoy the baby-utena-spectre thing and the utena-prince thing and how transparently and directly the stuco’s perceptions and understandings of who utena was have shaped them; in turn, how that has trapped some remnant of utena in ohtori, as ‘prince’. also shout-out anthy bc the way she functions in atr ohhhhhh it makes me crazy. what chiho saito says about not seeing an aged up utenanthy about seeing only a previous form of themselves that maybe isn’t all that real at all, ohhhhhhh it’s incredible 10/10 no notes on that front for me. we’re still storytelling within ohtori and that is sososososo important. it’s not as good as the movie manga imho, but atr is like. it just holds a special place in my heart for being such a compelling and mixed bag of Stuff. great food for thought. i think everyone should read it honestly im baffled that people are choosing not to

[wereoz]

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☽ lila cerullo ☾

ib this collage

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: Please, Dazai, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Dazai: I’m sorry MC. MC: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Dazai: It has to be done. MC: Dazai: MC: Dazai: *Places +4* Uno.

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

[camellcat]

WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?