#she told me she only went bc she pitied me when I asked bc I had no one else to ask

[likedaylighht]

loosing a best friend is really hard ❤️. I’m so sorry.

also random but I thought it might make you laugh. you mentioned something about the birthday trip lore randomly a few months ago and then I looked through the tag having the time of my life 😂 I only started following you about a year ago so I wasn’t here at that time but that wasn’t going to stop me from the tea 😆😆😆

The birthday trip lore is crazy bc even looking back through the tag I didn’t post about half the shit that happened like I would have if it happened now (I share so much more on here lol)

Like if yall want some tea…

I didn’t even tell you about how I sobbed on the phone to my mom the first morning when I told my “friend” who was with me that she hurt my feelings calling me naive and she told me I deserved it and “did I really want to ruin my own trip bc that’s what you are doing” Over the fact that I couldn’t figure out how to lock the sliding glass door of our room that was on a private, gated resort. Or when she made me rush to keep up with her on a hike/zip line tour causing me to hyperventilate and have a panic attack and cry and almost pass out bc again, hyperventilating, then I had to leave the hike halfway through (the tour guides were SO incredibly nice about it) and she asked if she could continue the rest of the hike without me bc she paid for it and wanted to get her moneys worth. I definitely don’t look at it as losing a friend, more like revealing an asshole for who they really are. Worst person on the face of the earth fr fr. Also btw this two things? They happened the same day. The 2nd day of a week long trip. It was an amazing trip and I made amazing memories but no thanks to her.

[causenessus]

cold kisses

part 0.5. PINK DYE

PLAYING FROM KODZUKEN'S STREAM . . . i hope that you think of me by pity part (girls club)

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

y/n woke up early and decided to text kenma immediately bc she was feeling a little nervous about everything

suna and iwa told her to ask casual so she was trying so hard to act normal she maybe failed a little

in her defense kenma also wasn't helping with how monotone he was and then a sudden smiley face bc kuroo saw that they were texting and immediately scolded him saying "why do you text like you've never experienced an emotion in your life? you need smiley faces or something"

kenma bought y/n flowers when they went out for coffee playing it off as "i thought it'd be cool to take a picture with"

he didn't even expect y/n to take a picture since nothing had really been released on her side about a boyfriend yet but she thought he was so sweet and wanted to post it anyway

kenma trying to be romantic and noya's i feel so sigma on the same page killed me for some reason

like two (2) people asked atsumu how working with y/n was and he took it as "i must tell the people how i feel about her and shoot my shot"

no ukai really didn't have to be in here but i love him okay i love my pretty princess and i wanted him in here as someone's father please tolerate me

ukai is the kind of guy that drops dad lore at the most random times like you'll be talking about something and then he's suddenly like "oh the stanley hotel? yeah i worked there for a few years 😐" (real story a drama teacher has dropped on me)

and the only way anyone can respond is "ukai ur a coach when did u have the time to work at the stanley hotel and why did u quit"

taglist: @rinheartshyunlix @kettlepop @eggyrocks @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @keioover @does-directions @calx-bdo @staygoldsquatchling02 @cherrypieyourface @iluv-ace @kitty-m30w @h3xi2g0n3 @mylahrins @thechaosoflonging @momoriii-i @localgaytrainwreck @a-pastel-edgelord @bugglesboop @polish-cereal @osakis-gf @whykirbo @phoenix-eclipses @faesix @ryeyeyer @starxq.zip @skylarkalchemist @kunimix @sereniteav @kodzubaby @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @r0seandth0rns @gysche @1lovestrawberrymilk @kitnootkat @seillarium @tamimemo @iheartpinky @myromanempiree @coldcigarette @eclipticnikki @squiishymeow @vivian-555 @cryptictheseus (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[milaisreading]

hi! Ok, what about fic where manager have to wear something like mascot costume (like ears and tail) or something like maid dress (you can choose anything you want) all day because of JFU and fan service for BLLK TV during the NEO egoists league arc. And when boy see her in this costume, they are frustrated, freaks out and try their best to cover her and get away from the cameras.

Author: I hope you like this and thank you sm for the request🩷 stay safe and healthy.

PS: I really hope people feel included in these stories, that's why I mostly avoid giving any physical descriptions of the reader. Also, English is like my 3rd language and I hope you all aren't too annoyed if I am repetitive with some words. Mostly when I use the words blush or turn red I don't want to allude to the skin tone, but I try to describe the situation in a way that would make sense to me as well. Sorry for that and I will try to work on my vocabulary a little bit more. I am so sorry if smn felt left out bcs of my wording 🙇🏻‍♀️🩷

Warnings ⚠️ : Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

When (Y/n) signed up for the Blue Lock project to help out, she knew there would be hard and easy times. She knew she will be a lot bussier with taking care of not just the team, but also running errands for Anri and Ego from time to time. But with all the exhausting and draining tasks she had, she was greatful for the friends she made at the project, all the connections and fun times that came with it. But and a big but, (Y/n) didn't know that Blue Lock would turn into a reality show with... certain demands from the JFU.

"Respectfully, no way in hell am I wearing that!" (Y/n) shrieked at the clothing item Anri was holding. Ego kept quiet, pitying the girl a little.

"Come on (Y/n)! The JFU did that fanservice polls and the fans really want to see you in this dress... it's not even revealing." Anri tried to argue. And true, the maid dress wasn't anything too extreme. A normal maid dress that went to her knees, nothing revealing and a simple black color, with a white apron and some head decoration.

"Still! I never agreed to this! I don't want anyone to see me in that! And why aren't the boys wearing it as well, seems unfair!" (Y/n) said, feeling embarrassed to be wearing such a dress. Anri shook her head and walked closer to the girl, pressing the item into her hands.

"You came in first place when asked who should wear it. Rin was second by like a 400 votes difference."

"400?!" (Y/n) cried out, feeling betrayed by the audience.

"Just wear it for half a day. I tried to negotiate with the JFU and we came to a agreement for just half a day." Ego said.

'I hate it here!! The others will just make fun of me!' (Y/n) thought, wanting to cry.

"It looks adorable!!" Anri cheered as she finally got the dress on the girl.

"Can't we just get Rin to wear this?" (Y/n) asked for the 10th time as Anri pulled her out of the changing room.

"No, no we can't." The woman said back.

"Get Rin to do what?!" Isagi asked as he walked out of a room. The boy looked at (Y/n) for a few moments, blinking as he finally started realizing what she was wearing.

"(Y/n), why are you wearing that?!" Isagi exclaimed as his face turned a bright red, catching Bachira and Baro's attention.

"I-I didn't want to, I was forced!" (Y/n) said back, causing Anri to roll her eyes.

"Don't you love the fans?"

"Not this much!"

'She looks so adorable in that! What a great day to be alive and witness this!' Isagi thought as he covered up his cheeks.

"What happened with (Y/n)?! Do I have to beat someone up-" Bachira's grin soon faded and his jaw dropped a little when he saw the girl, face flushing to match Isagi's.

'So... so adorable!'

Baro peeked outside too only to freeze up at the sight of the manager.

'I... this is a dream? Or maybe not?' Baro pinched his cheeks to make sure everything was real.

"Wh-what?! I told you this was rediculous!" (Y/n) yelled, expecting them to tease her.

'Adorable!' Baro thought, suddenly getting shy as Bachira ran to hug her.

"You look so cute, (Y/n)! I could just eat you!"

"Bachira, you are making it worse!" (Y/n) yelled, startled by his sudden hug as Nari cheered.

"Told you it looks fine."

"Bachir, let her go!"

"You little piece of shit!" Isagi and Baro yelled as they went in to grab to separate the two.

'I want a hug too...' The two thought, jealous that Bachira got it first.

Otoya fell to the ground and covered up his nosebleed.

'Thank you God. Thank you for making me witness this!' The green/white-haired boy thought, feeling tears of joy cloud his eyes.

"Otoya! Are you alright?!" (Y/n) panicked as she tried to walk to him, but was stopped by Yukimiya standing in the way.

"He is just being weird, don't worry. So when will you be wearing this again?" The brown-haired boy asked as (Y/n) shook her head at that thought.

"Hopefully never. Also can you stop touching my hair, Karasu?" The girl wondered as the said boy kept patting her head.

"But you look so adorable! We need to give you headpats." The boy declared as Yukimiya nodded his head.

"Wait, I want to do it too!" Otoya added as he finally composed himself. Meanwhile Kurona and Hiori were standing off to the side, faces red as they admired the girl's costume.

'So adorable! She looks better than any model!' Kurona thought.

'Ahh~ I live being in Blue Lock~' Hiori sighed dreamily.

She was just doing some pick ups for the medic room when Gagamaru, Niko and Rin walked by, and seeing her in the costume really flustered them.

"I-I... you look pretty (Y/n). Like a princess!" Gagamaru had exclaimed nervously as (Y/n) thanked him, clearly just as flustered as he was.

"You look..." Rin started and then looked away, clearly unsure how to say it in a smooth way.

'She is so adorable! Just like she always is, but now she is even cuter! Thank you God for not sending me off to Spain too.' Rin thought, too shy to look her back in the eyes. And in that moment Niko started stuttering something out, but the more he looked at (Y/n), the blurrier her form was getting.

'So cute!'

"Niko! Gagamaru, can you bring me some water?!" (Y/n) exclaimed as she caught the black-haired boy before he could fall to the ground. The boy quickly nodded his head, forcing himself to look away and get the water.

'Lucky bastard!' Rin tsked as (Y/n) held the boy's figure.

"So.... how long do you have to wear that?" Kunigami asked, covering up his cheeks.

"For like an hour more... then I am free." (Y/n) explained as she fixed up Chigiri's hair, the said boy enjoying the attention he was getting from her.

'My manager taking care of me while dressed in a cute costume... I won at life!' The redhead sighed as Reo kept staring at her intensely.

'Ahh~~ what a day to be alive! Blue Lock is the best place on earth!' Reo thought with a silly grin as Nagi stood to the side with his phone.

'Sorry (Y/n), but God knows when I will see you like this again.' Nagi thought as he snapped some pics of the girl.

"Why are you even taking pictures?" The girl asked as she turned to the albino.

"Blackmail." He blinked and nervously answered.

'Idiot!' Reo and Kunigami thought.

"Blackmail? Literally anyone who follows Blue Lock will see me like this! What's the use of the Blackmail?"

"Hold up! Rewind that, what do you mean everyone will see you?!" Aryu spoke up, deciding to finally stop staring.

"It's like fanservice for the next episode or something." The girl explained, causing them to go into panic mode.

"So... so other dudes will see you like that?!" Chigiri questioned, turning around to face her.

"Yeah..."

"Absolutely not! Take this!" Kunigami said as he handed her his jacket.

"Take mine too." Aryu added, dropping it over her.

"I will just be the wall then." Nagi said in annoyance as he stood in front of (Y/n), shielding her from the camera Ego had put up.

"Reo, can you somehow buy this episode out or something?" Chigiri whispered to the purple-haired boy.

"I could try. Nobody outside of Blue Lock should see our manager like this."

[crayonverse]

details bout michael n eins dynamic. 2 me (cw physical/emotional abuse, cannibalism, suicide/suicidal idealizations, ableism, self-harm)

michael only refers to himself as eins father when he wants ein to do something, any other time hes just michael .

lets ein not refer to him as sir to make him feel more "special" .

after eins mom broke up w zack she sorta got a bit. out of it. she started neglecting ein and she became depressed. The First Step in ein distrusting others bc his mother stopped paying attention 2 him. michael used a small amount of his magic to control her and make her drown herself in the kitchen sink and then kidnapped ein, making it look like she had killed herself and ein had ran away. .

just as a small thing of me hcing ein as a transguy, michael named him ein bc the meaning of "ian" (which is what his name is just spelled weird) is "God is Gracious" as a constant reminder that michael "saved" ein. .

ein wasnt tested on w forever potions (in the early stages w the other kids) because michael absolutely could not let Zack know he had his other stupid kid. when ein found out about the testing he was extremely upset bc he wasnt "special enough" for it. picture ein 6 years old begging for medical malpractice to be used on him .

he was tested later but as a teen when michael got out, since he didnt have access to the other children. although he wasn't able to use the full potions since he didnt have access to emeralds at the moment, so he used diluted versions of the potions that weren't as powerful via syringes. ein gets a fear needles from it .

when michael n the other two idiots were locked in the pocket dimension ein went through a brief depressive period bc the One Guy he (thought) cared about him disappeared. when michael did get out he didnt tell ein immediately bc he . doesnt like ein but when he found out ein got arrested he told ein that he should stay in jail for a few months to "learn his lesson" .

slightly unrelated but when michael wanted him out of jail he also wanted ein to disappear off the radar so he faked eins death in jail. originally he wanted ein to die in like a riot but ein, sensing an opportunity, asked for it to say he killed himself instead. the opportunity being aphmau half way into her uni course looking up her old high school bullies to see what theyre up to and just finding out ein is Fucking Dead .

the potions michael uses on ein are mainly magic power related (like eins Green Laser) because he likes manipulating ein into doing things rather than using his magic because its "more fun" .

michael subconsciously views ein as his actual son (mcd travis) bc he feels like "this one is a better son" or whatever .

not a specific thing but mother knows best reprise from tangled is a Viewpoint on their dynamic 2 me .

ein is internally scared of michael but he never verbally says that and if anyone asks him if he is he denies it immediately bc he doesnt want pity. you can see it in his eyes though. elizabeth is really the only other person who mentions it but she mostly uses it to make fun of ein because she "doesnt think its that bad" (<- she is unaware) .

bc of michael ein absolutely hates unwarranted physical touch. he reacts violently if anyone grasps his shoulder from behind or touches his upper arms. the only touch he usually allows is people lightly touching his hair/head bc he still registers it as headpats (grabbing his hair usually results in him biting) .

michael usually physically threatens or abuses ein to reprimand him but sometimes he throws ein into the Metaphorical Torture Box for entertainment .

basically most of the things michael does to ein is for his own amusement .

he also heavily dehumanizes ein to convince him to do evil acts, rationalizing it to him as "you arent a person so is it really that bad??" ein does not view himself as an actual person at this point more so as a nameless soldier, a weapon, etc .

i used this for an old fic n stuff too but also michael makes ein commit cannibalism to forcibly dehumanize him more. he wants to make ein feel entirely disconnected from humanity (like michael feels for himself) so ein will basically be a "mini michael" .

ein also consciously copies michaels mannerisms/speech. only really elizabeth n zack notice it however and it just fucking freaks zack the hell out (elizabeth is also freaked out by it but mostly ignores it) .

theres just a general theme of a loss of control for ein in general. he gets a small allowance from michael and hes not allowed out overnight, all his communication is usually internally with the researchers or guardian forces. most of the time ein self isolates from them, viewing them as beneath him and michael. when they try to talk to him its a 50/50 whether he'll tell them to fuck off or he'll hiss at them .

another specific detail is pre s4 ein fucked up a potion and instead of his usual reprimand, michael used pliers to defang ein. in his head its the one thing ein can't rationalize about michaels actions (the one "seed of doubt" he has). he usually makes excuses for michael's actions towards him but being defanged is the only one he struggles with since he knows that michael knows how important his wolf side is to him .

pre s5 and just like at the end of s5 (when ein was seen on the bridge) he was going through another depressive episode bc he missed his ears and tail. he was mainly just going through the motions of his daily life but he was barely holding on. michael repeatedly discouraged ein from committing because the plan would be messed up because of it (michael said that directly to him) and he would imply that ein would be a traitor if he went through with it. .

michael actually flipped between discouraging and encouraging ein to commit to see what he would do. .

he's caught ein self-harming before, w ein attempting to either drown or smother himself. michael doesnt like doing this regularly but most of the time he lets ein hug him so he feels "comforted". other times michael just scolds him and tells him to not do it again. .

i also hc ein as a low empathy autistic (bc # me) and he used to stim very openly and loudly but michael disliked that part of him so he "trained" ein to not stim in public which just results in him being constantly overstimulated, a contributor to Ein being fucking mad all the time. hes like a hair trigger away from a meltdown at all times .

the only method of stimming ein can usually get away w is when he scratches his arms/scabs. unfortunately he doesn't trim his claws and it usually results in ein making himself bleed or reopening scars. michael has attempted to get him to stop doing this but its pretty much a compulsion for ein at this point.

[flimsyichigo]

ok so i promised an update so here’s part of an update of something pretty crazy that’s happened to me

back in mid february, i was chilling in my favorite elective class when my friend, lets call him ryan, asked if i heard anything interesting happening in school.

i told him nah not really. it’s mainly stuff personal to me. so he then asked if i like somebody. i was like YEAH. obviously he asked who it was so I told him to guess and that it was one of his friends. He couldn’t guess who so I just told him the name.

there was this girl in our table so overheard and wanted to know, i’ll call her jane. i only knew jane for over a month or so but we had a lot of mutual friends and her boyfriend is good friends with my crush. plus she just seemed SO sweet and trusting at the time so i just told her. she just seemed so giddy and happy for me after i did so. this is a very important detail. SHE KNEW.

so then my friend, ryan, offered to be my wingman and despite him being a fucking goof a majority of the time, i knew i could trust him cause this involves one of his closest friends and ryan has NEVER done me dirty b4. a week or so later, he told me his plan to help me out. the plan was asking my crush who he was gonna ask to prom and basically listing a bunch of people he could take so ryan could subtly include my name and see how this guy felt about me. to be honest this was a great fucking plan. almost everybody i told this story to said it was a good ass plan.

so on that friday (the day before spring break btw), i saw ryan after lunch right before our class and asked if he did it. he said yes. i asked if it went well. he shook his head no in pity… my stomach fucking DROPPED. i spent nearly the entirety of that same elective class i mentioned earlier just sitting there all gloomy and shit. even my absolute sweetheart of a teacher asked if i was ok.

ryan wanted to tell me what exactly happened so fucking bad and kept insisting but i was like NAHHH that’s gonna break me for sure. that same jane girl i mentioned earlier said she was there when it happened. so i asked her if it was as bad as my friend described it. she instantly nodded which made me feel so much worse.

so that class ended meaning spring break officially started. i was just fucking ruminating on my walk home wondering what the fuck happened. a few days into break, my curiosity was eating at me so i called ryan and asked him to explain EVERYTHING that happened on friday.

so what happened was ryan went over to where my crush was sitting during lunch and started asking him about prom dates. the plan was instantly shut down when my crush essentially said “ehh i don’t know jane told me that [my name] likes me.” he then added that he thought i looked like a guy(ahhh closeted trans guy tings😜😜) so basically he wasn’t interested. you see i wasn’t upset abt what he said about me. i know the way i dress and the way i present myself and im proud of it even if i am doing an awful job at being closeted.

now what i was upset abt was that mf jane girl deciding to TELL HIM I LIKED HIM some fucking reason??? she had no real fucking reason to do that shit. the whole point was to be subtle about it and see what he thought of me. if he was interested, then sick i’ll make some moves. if he wasn’t, then cool ima move on in silence; no harm done. but this girl HADDD to throw a fucking wrench in our plans. i was able to move on from my feelings for him easily after that but STILLL. it feels so weird now knowing that he knows i liked him. ideally i still would’ve been cool with him if he didn’t like me back because HE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO KNOW. ughhhhhhh now i know to never trust that mf jane againnnn.

anyways yap session over. make sure to like and subscribe to learn about more bullshit in my life. but for real, i’ve been gone for a good while now and i just felt like i owed yall an update bc i love yall sm.

[twinknote]

murder your memory by title fight but it’s murder your Mommy

my mom is so fucking weird and ironically often very spot on about our relationship when she’s trying to joke with me

on wednesday, she used the tortellini i had bought to make pasta salad as basically my only lunch for the week bc she didn’t plan anything to take to her friend’s house. this made me Really mad bc 1. she didn’t ask me 2. i spend a lot of time and energy meal planning 3. i have a Lot of anxiety abt food bc ED recovery + ARFID + autism + lifelong food insecurity and 4. it takes me a Lot of energy just to pick up an online order and put it away

so i ended up having to go to one store, find out they’re out of stock, and go to Another store, which took Hours. the next day, i started making the pasta salad, realized that she had used the entire bottle of dressing i had bought for it, and nearly had a meltdown over it in the kitchen. she came to “comfort” me and said she’d go to the store to get more the next day. she joked “i’m really screwing you over this week, huh?” to which Past evan would have comforted and reassured her. but Present evan just went 😬 which like Good for him tbh bc this Did very much fuck up my week

anyway this morning the cycle continues, she’s trying to be all buddy buddy and get my reassurance while also trying to get me to feel bad for her. again, jokingly, she comes into the kitchen saying “did you peel the rest of the eggs for me? if you loved me, you would peel the eggs for me” laughing with her head on my shoulder, as if she doesn’t Always weaponize shame against people to do things for her. reminds me of a time she jokingly told me i was “gaslighting” her which like. girl if i’m gaslighting you’re a nuclear fucking bomb

and then she made sure to complain to me about going to the store Two days in a row (bc she Chose to go yesterday to buy eggs?) which is like. Ok cool 👍 i go to two stores in one day every week bc i’m the only one who buys groceries, and then had to go to two stores Again two days later bc you used my food 👍 That’s Awesome 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

anyway thank god for therapy and people talking abt manipulative emotionally abusive narcissistic parents (and i use the term narcissistic to describe a self centered quality of her actions and thought patterns, Not to hypothesize that she has NPD) bc i’m now able to Choose not to reassure or comfort her when she’s being “i’m surely the worst person alive but i won’t straight up apologize” and “Woe is me i have suffered more than jesus christ, pls pity me or i will Die”

[warriors-firecat]

time to vent briefly about this thing i experienced last year that still has me self conscious

so, i was adopted at birth. all i know of my bio dad is he was black to some degree. and by that i mean there's a chance he was mixed. idk bc he died before i could meet him. ANWYAYS. my bio mom is white. my whole life people saw me with my two white adoptive parents and looked at my pale, freckled skin and red hair and without a doubt in their minds marked "caucasian" on official papers. and i never questioned it. not once. not even when i found out i was adopted at the age of 6. i assumed both my biological parents had been white. and then my adoptive mom told me who my dad was, when i asked her. she said he was black, that my bio mom had never slept with a white man in her life, etc. etc. but i still thought "well... i look white, so i must BE white." even after meeting my two half-siblings, who are both darker than me, my brain went "well we only share a mom, so surely that doesnt prove anything." and then i went to the psych ward. in 2020, i was in a long-term, intensive-care psych ward due to the mental issues that followed after my adoptive mom's death and my adoptive father and stepmom's abuse of me. i was.. not a great person at the time, but thats a story for another day. This ward was POC owned and run. Not a single white person worked there except for ONE intern we had for the therapists. Every single employee there that met and saw me said i looked, without a doubt, mixed. they said they'd be surprised if i took a dna test and it said i was fully white. they even brought up the "Paper Bag Test", but im very pale so i dont think that actually applied to me at all? idk but they brought it up so i included it in this story. they tried to tell me i AM mixed, that i can be considered part of the poc community... but to this day i cannot believe them. wanna know why? because of what happened in 2023. i was staying with a foster family. i trusted them, and they accepted me as a trans man. the parents were a lesbian couple. everyone else in the house was either neurodivergent or queer. one kid was hispanic and black. that was when i had my dna test done. prior to that, i'd been talking about what the workers at the psych ward said, and i got told off for "claiming to be mixed". after that, i paid for the dna test. it came back and i will post the results below for you all to judge for yourselves. its the Ethnicity Estimates page.

Anyways, i showed it to them and they used it as a gotcha moment. they said because the highest percentage was "England & Northeastern Europe" at 33%, i was white. and they told me that i will only ever be seen as white, that i will never be the target of racial prejudice, etc. etc. and i agree, that may be true. and... i feel bad. i feel bad for wanting to consider myself mixed. so i dont. im not using this for pity or anything, i just.. i GENUINELY want anyone who knows their stuff to chime in to this, preferably in DMs, and tell me what they think. hell, i'll even include a pic of myself. i just want to know what everyone else thinks. i wanna know where i belong. i included below the dna results, plus two pics of me. one with makeup and one without.

[imtheworst-imsorry]

i’ve only been here since monday and they put me on wheelchair/bed rest bc apparently i’ve somehow Lost weight since i got here. which my ed is happy about but i’m not thrilled about the wc/br because i’m not even allowed to go to groups which seems counterintuitive, they did let me go see the therapy dog that came today (i think they may have taken pity on me since it’s my birthday today) and technically my media privileges were suspended bc i didn’t complete dinner last night (i only managed like 2 tiny bites before i broke down sobbing) but they let me listen to some music to calm me down and then i just chilled out the rest of the night, and now i guess since i completed tonight and i’m being compliant with wc/br they let me have my phone and laptop, which is nice. all the staff are really nice and supportive and patient with me and all the other patients that i’ve talked to have been nice, i’m really bad at remembering names so i feel bad constantly asking people their names again but oh well. my mom is coming to visit in a bit which will be good, i feel really bad about putting my parents through all this and about being here on my birthday, which i don’t really like anyway, i know they’re sad i’m not home, but they want me to get the help and support i need so it is what it is. they make us drink SO MUCH water, i didn’t think i was very dehydrated but i guess i was, i swear i’ve never peed this much in my life, but at least that means my kidneys are working ig lol. my first ekg was a bit wonky so they redid it and it was a little better, and i had a bone density scan earlier, too. it took them a lot of time and confusion trying to figure out how to get me my T shots while i’m here but they finally got it together and i’m getting it tonight, thank goodness, bc in another day or so i’d start feeling REALLY shitty. they did scare the (metaphorical) crap out of me when they said my drug screening came back with amphetamines and ecstasy (and weed but i knew that would be there and i told them i smoke so that’s whatever) but apparently wellbutrin can sometimes give a false positive for those kinds of drugs, i think i would have keeled over if i hadn’t been sitting down bc aside from when my psychiatrist and i were trying adderall to see if it would help my adhd (it didn’t) i’ve never even been near those drugs, i made a pact with myself after everything went to shit in brooklyn that i’m NEVER doing anything harder than weed and i told them that (unless i ever try some kind of depression treatment with like, ket or psychedelics or whatever but that would be under medical supervision) but they’re gonna redo my labwork in a few days to see if some of my other values are getting better. i’m pretty sure i have my full treatment team meeting on friday, my parents are going to try to come if they can make it work with their schedule, and i’m hoping i feel less anxious about all the uncertainty once we do that, i don’t like unknown variables and there’s a lot of that right now but i’ve only been here not even 3 full days. really what i’m worried about other than just Everything is what kind of diagnosis i’m gonna get, and when i’m going to be able to start doing meal planning bc i’ll do a lot better when i can make my own choices and know what’s coming, and i’m worried they might take me off the wellbutrin bc you’re not supposed to be on it if you have an ed, but it’s the ONLY thing that’s ever even remotely helped me (along with the remeron that i’m on, too) but my doctor said he’s going to talk to my outside psychiatrist to coordinate care and i trust her to advocate for me about that bc she knows how hard it was to find something that works for me. so there’s still a lot of stuff i don’t have answers for yet, which i hate, but i kinda just have to trust the process and know that the people here know what they’re doing and keep doing my best bc that’s all i can do rn

[laughing-with-god]

The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

--

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.  

[brokenjere]

bad in the bones (c.f) (part 2)

A/N: ahhh! Second part is here - let me know what you guys think in the comments or send me an inbox/ask bc I like talking to you guys 🥹🥹 hope you love it

Synopsis: first dinner in Cousins reveals some truths about the Fisher’s and Belly is convinced to make a change this summer

catch up here

I sit at the dinner table, sandwiched between Belly and Steven, and pick at the chicken that was on the plate in front of me. The conversation was bustling, especially between Jeremiah and Steven. You’d think that they never spoke during the other seasons, but I knew firsthand that wasn’t true. They just could not stop making jokes.

Laurel was sitting on one end the table and Susannah on the other and across from me, Conrad was slumped over, in his own little world, oblivious to everything going on in the world around him.

My stomach churns, not feeling really hungry but that could either be because I ate too many Twizzlers on the ride in or I was still suffering the heartbreak blues. “You okay?” Belly leans over and asks. I smile up at her and nod, shoving a piece of chicken in my mouth. She looks at me with pity and I knew she thought it was the latter and I hate that being a heartbroken, sad sap was a part of my personality now. I hate that that’s what she thinks about when she looks at me.

“So, Belly, I have something for you,” Susannah says, getting both of our attentions. She gets out of her chair, making us all watch as she grabs something from out of the kitchen. It’s a small, white envelope and she hands it to Belly. In gold letters scribbled on the front it reads: Cousins Beach Debutant Ball.

“Is this why you had to go to the country club earlier?” Laurel asks, making Susannah laugh and shrug. There was a country club here? Of course their was.

“What’s a debutant ball?” Belly asks, looking at Susannah. A scam. A show. A miserable excuse for people to put young girls on display. Laurel expresses my thoughts verbally and Susannah rebults, telling Belly that it was a coming of age. Like a bar mitzvah.

“It is not like a bar mitzvah,” Laurel scoffs. Susannah shrugs, accepting defeat.

“I’d really like you to consider,” she says, finally. Belly folds up the invitation and puts it down on the table.

“Debs are for sheep,” Conrad speaks up. It was the first time he spoke all dinner and everyone looks over at him. He doesn’t look up even after Jeremiah starts to take jabs at him.

“Didn’t you go last year? With Nicole?”

“Who’s Nicole?” Belly asks. I feel heat radiating off of her arms and Conrad looks up at her like she had no right to speak.

“It was after you guys left for Steven’s college tour. It doesn’t matter, I only went because Mom asked me to.” I remember that summer and how they came home early. Steven and his dad went off on a road trip to check out colleges and I remember being viciously jealous that his dad cared that much. I felt guilty for feeling that way when a few months later, Laurel and John announced their divorce.

The two brothers bicker back and forth before Susannah tells them to stop. I keep my eyes focused on the peas that I moved around on my plate, popping one or two in my mouth every few seconds. “Conrad quit football, you know,” Jeremiah says, getting in one final jab before Conrad throws his fork down on the plate, a crash reverbrating through the room. It bounces off the china cabinet on the other side of the room and everyones eyes widen as they watch him walk away.

“Was that really necessary?” Susannah sighs, putting her head in her hands, her golden hair falling in front of her face. I look at Jeremiah, finding out more about his personality in the last few moments than I had learned from all the stories Belly and Steven had told me. He was a jealous little brother.

+

My phone buzzes in my hand and I click it open: Mallory.

how is it?????

My fingers hover over the keyboard on my phone, deciding what words to use to describe my first day in Cousin’s so far. There isn’t a lot to say, really. Gorgeous, warm, a seaside dream. And then there were the boys. Gorgeous, warm, a seaside dream.

good. how is josh?

I want to kick myself the second I hit send on the message. Who cares how Josh is? Me, apparently. I did. He was in my thoughts during the rest of dinner, while I was in the shower afterward, and even now, as I lay in my bed and stare out the window at the ocean. I was hoping to drown in it, but I hadn’t even stepped foot in the sand yet.

ughhhhh, stop with him already. any cute boys?

Yes. I want to type. Two.

i’m not ready to move on

lame

I set my phone down on the bed next to me. I’m looking up at the white ceiling and trying to focus on the sound of the beach below me but I keep hearing his name. I love you. Please don’t walk away. Please come back.

My phone buzzes again: tell me more!!!

I type back a vague response about how the sky matches the blue of the ocean and how Susannah’s smile is just as pretty in person as in the photos that me and Mallory always used to stare at whenever we were at Aunt Laurel’s and I hit send, hoping it would saciate her hunger.

If I am the wild to Belly’s calm, Mallory is the tornado to my light shower. She is wilder, funnier, more outgoing, and certainly always the center of attention. I’m in her shadow while many would say Belly is in mine. Mallory always rode in the front seat and we rode in the back. She was always at the head of the table while we were on the side, passing the butter and salt back and forth while Mallory unfolded the drama around us.

I don’t get a text back, but there’s a knock on the door. Belly sticks her head inside and I sit up in bed, telling her to come in. “Nice pick,” she tells me. “This one has the best lighting.” She’s wet, her hair dripping down her back over an oversized t-shirt. I bet she has her swimsuit on underneath.

“I thought so, too.” She sits down next to me on the bed. “Night swim?” I ask.

She nods and laughs, pulling her hair to the front of her body. “Sorry. I should have asked you to come with,” she says.

“I probably would have said no, anyway,” I tell her. I probably would have agreed, but I didn’t want her to feel bad for not inviting me. After all, it was probably weird for her to have a shadow this summer and the last thing I wanted to do was put a damper on her summer.

“The boys said I’m not invited to the bonfire tonight,” she tells me. “They all just left and Steven said I had to stay in. The moms are getting ready for our movie night.”

“What? Who are they to decide?” I scoff, shifting in the bed, sitting up on my elbows. Belly shrugs and looks at me. Her eyes are pooling with tears and if she starts to cry, I don’t know that I would be able to hold myself back, either. So far, I had not cried. I did not cry when I told Mallory I’d be gone all summer and I did not cry when Josh texted me asking if it was true and I did not cry when he told me he would miss me but seeing Belly cry, might just do it for me.

“I told you, now that we’re older I get left out a lot more. I’m too young,” she says, using her fingers as quotes around the words too young.

“You’re one year younger than them,” I tell her, throwing myself off the bed and heading to the closet. Mallory insisted that I pack hot clothes. She told me, “you’ll never know if you’ll find a hot boy to occupy your time.”

I throw a blue dress at Belly and tell her, “get dressed. We’re going.” Her eyes lit up as she lifted the dress up. I grab a white one out of my closet, one a little more flowy than the one I gave to Belly but it was still short. Mallory was right, it was lame that I hadn’t moved on yet.

“Isn’t this a little short?” Belly asks, holding it up to her body. It ended right below her ass.

“Maybe it’ll make Conrad look,” I shrug.

I spin her around the full-size mirror in her bedroom and whistle as her hair twirls around her. “These boys won’t know what hit them.”

“And what about you?” She says, gawking at me. I wave her off and grab my shoes, putting them on to avoid the conversation. “How are we going to get out?” She asks. The bedroom door is closed, but she whispers as if the moms can hear us. Belly and I already went down and told the moms we were just going to spend the first night. Have a girls sleepover in Belly’s room, if you will. They dismissed us with a sad smile and we came back upstairs.

“We’ll sneak out,” I say. “You’ve never snuck out before?” I knew that was true. Belly would never have been caught dead sneaking out, but before this summer she never really needed to. “It’ll be fine,” I tell her, grabbing her hand. I make her carry her flip flops so the moms don’t hear them slapping as we walk down the stairs and I tip-toe in my sneakers down the wooden steps, moving so slow you could have fallen asleep by watching us.

To say that this bonfire was worth sneaking out for would be a lie. There were too many people here and the sand was littered with beer bottles and cups. Jumper was just as sleezy as I remembered. He tried to put his arm around Belly and I when we arrived, trying to flirt his way into some company. Belly’s too nice to ever tell him no, so I give him a fake smile and tell him to get lost before dragging her further down the beach.

She stops in her tracks, causing me to fly backward from the sudden stop. I give her a look but she’s looking beyond me, further down toward the fire. I follow her gaze to see Conrad with a girl between his legs. He has them up, his arms wrapped around his knees. A small girl, petite with a Red Sox hat on, was sitting between his knees laughing at a joke he made.

“Oh.” She nods at my unintentional words. “Do you want to go the other way?” I ask. What other way? The only way was straight ahead and that would be entering the snake pit. He sees us before she can decide.

Then, she does something I never would have guessed: she calls him out. “Who’s that?”

Conrad looks stunned too, as does the girl. She replies as if she’s being spoken to. “Nicole, and who are you?”

“I took her to the deb ball last year,” Conrad says. She is who he took to the ball. And here she is, between his legs. I feel the anger for Belly. Her anger is now my anger despite being able to feel it penetrating off of her skin.

“I thought you said deb balls are for sheep,” Belly spits her words at him. Nicole shifts and I grab Belly’s hand to pull her away before the fight escalates.

“God you’re such a brat.” His words are harsh. Not like they’re meant for a girl he’s known since childhood. There was a bitterness there only reserved for the people you love that have hurt you. I have heard that bitterness more times than I care to admit.

“Oh, shut up Conrad,” I tell him, stunning even myself. Belly looks at me but I ignore her. Me and Conrad stare at each other, unwavering.

Neither of us speak, so I walk away with Belly trailing behind me. I take her to the keg and pour her a drink. “Here,” I say. She takes the drink from my hand and stares at me. “What?”

“You just told him to shut up.”

“Like you weren’t thinking about saying it.”

She scoffs and then says, “yeah but I never would.” And then she laughs and I laugh with her because how could I not. “Did you see his face?”

“Who’s face?” I turn around and Jeremiah sticks his head between Belly and I.

“Cons when Yn told him to shut up,” Belly tells him, her eyes wide and a smile on her face. Jeremiah’s eyes basically bulged out of his head when he looked at me.

“You said that?” I nod, shrugging my shoulders. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. He was just a boy. A stupid, stupid boy. “What are you guys even doing here?” He asks.

“We snuck out,” Belly tells him.

“You snuck out?” Belly nods. “Who are you and what have you done to Isobel Conklin?” He asks, a smile spreading over his cheeks as he pulls her into his side. Belly laughs and tries to shrug but she can’t.

“You don’t know me when I’m with my better half,” she says, winking at me.

“More like a bad influence.” Jeremiah winks, telling me he’s just teasing but I stick my tongue out at him anyway, rolling my eyes. “I’m glad you’re here,” he admits and squeezes Belly before he gets called away.

Belly chugs down her drink, barely stopping for a breath. I watch her as beer trickles down her chin and she wipes it away with the back of her hand. She hands me the cup and then gestures for me to refill it. I do. “Thanks,” she mumbles before taking a small drink of the freshly filled cup.

“You a heavy drinker now?” I ask, gently teasing her. But Belly was never much of a drinker. She had one or two occasionally at parties but never alone and never that much in such little time.

“He’s just so-“ she starts but then cuts herself off.

“So what?”

“So infuriating.” I nod as if I understand. “One minute he’s fine. We get along. I think maybe he even likes me back but then the next he’s canoodling with Nicole in the sand and telling me I’m a brat? What is that?” She drinks some more beer and I mirror her. “You know, last summer we were good. Great even. And now?” She shakes her head.

“Didn’t your mom say there was a vibe between you and Jeremiah?” I ask, trying to recall the conversation in the car on our way here. I was zoned out, staring out the window, picturing all the ways I could torture Josh with a pair of tweezers but I remember Laurel’s voice asking about Jeremiah and Steven’s outwardly disgust at the thought.

Belly waves me off. “We’re just best friends. Have been forever. He’s like my brother.”

“But if he likes you, why not give it a shot? Instead of pinning for Conrad when he acts like that?” It was just a suggestion, but Belly seems offended. She pulls back a little and furrows her eyebrows. I pretend not to notice and find Jeremiah in the crowd, his arm around a girl similarly to how he had his arm around Belly moments before. Maybe that’s why.

“Jeremiah doesn’t like me,” she says.

I shrug and drink my beer to avoid eye contact with her. She seems to let my comment go and continues her rant. “I just think if Conrad would get over himself, we could be fine again. I mean, out of all the summers, this so far has to be the worst he’s been.”

It just started, I want to say to her. But I don’t know Conrad. And I don’t know Jeremiah and who am I to give her advice about people and things I know nothing about. I don’t think I’d take any relationship advice from me right now as it stands, regardless.

My eyes find Conrad. He’s still in the sand but Nicole is gone. I don’t bother looking for her but it seems maybe Conrad is. Or he’s looking for Steven and Jeremiah. Or even Belly. His hair is in his face and he pushes it back with his hand and then he finds us by the keg and stops searching the beach.

He stares st me and I stare back as Belly talks. I see her hands waving in frustration through the corner of my eye and I nod like I’m listening but I think she’s too engrossed in her complaining to notice I’m not really paying much attention. Hate. Loser. Pain in the ass. All words she’s using to describe Conrad.

He gives me a small wave. And I wave back. He looks like maybe he’s about to stand up, but then Nicole comes back and she hands him a drink, taking his attention away from me and back onto her. “Are you even listening to me?” Belly finally asks, snapping her fingers in my face.

I look at her: all wide eyes and messy hair. “Yeah,” i lie. “I was listening to you.”

taglist: @marajillana

[moririki]

⤷ MORE THAN YOU'D BARGAIN FOR

DENJI X READER -> 1.7K
when it comes to a fool blinded by love, it sure hurts to have the short end of the stick

REQUEST -> ✰
CONTAINS -> angst, friends with benefits‼️, happy ending bc i'm weak like that, denji not knowing how to process emotions, very loose college!au cos i'm lazy, makima being slightly antagonised because fuck her, mentions of sex but nothing super explicit i don't think
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> thinking about denji's hands. i want to learn how to animate manga panels now so i can do a csm edit. also the writing style got kinda boring im SORRY

HEARTBREAK WAS ALWAYS BOUND TO HAPPEN IN THESE SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS. anyone with a pair of eyes and ears could give a clear answer to the question "who does denji like?" and no matter how much you wanted that answer to change, it would never be you.

even when the blonde boy had been so insistent on his heart belonging to another, he still had urges. so under the influence of one too many bottles of alcohol, it was a fairly easy decision for both of you to fall into bed together. more than once. more than you'd care to admit.

being with denji was nice. he was funny, sweet at times and vulgar during the others, and you found yourself repeating a mantra of don't catch feelings for your friend during your time together. and truth be told, it was hard not to, even when you and denji had finished your business and the topic of conversation always seemed to make its way back to makima.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth when denji acted like nothing had happened between the pair of you in other settings. the bitterness turned sour when you realised that there was no reason for him to have to either, and you cursed yourself when you realised you had done the worst thing possible and gone and fallen for your friend who so clearly wouldn't like you back.

but there were times where you thought that you just might have a chance.

even though your cursed your heart for fluttering and rearing its head each time so willingly at denji's mercy, you couldn't help but take every offhand action of his as a ray of hope. with the way his hands engulfed yours to anchor himself as he thrusted into you, the way his lips left urgent kisses on your lips as you panted beneath him, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cried out in ecstasy.

and even when you were lying next to each other in his bed, catching your breath. you would turn to look at his face sometimes, only to see him staring at you already with a look in his eyes that could only be described as wistful. but you were a fool to think that you could ever upseat makima in denji's eyes.

false hope could only get you so far.

with his breath tickling the back of your neck and his large hand rubbing patterns into your hip, this false hope really had gotten you somewhere. but all good things must come to an end. words that you dreaded to say weighed heavy on your tongue, but you dragged yourself along, lifting them just enough to feel them escape your lips before you could really stop them.

"denji, what are we?"

you felt the hand that rested on you go still, and the arm that was poised as a pillow for you went rigid. hell, the boy that was holding you so close to his chest had practically stopped breathing, and you felt your eyelids slide shut in a bitter defeat before you heard another word. it's not like you needed them to understand how he felt, anyway.

"we're friends, aren't we?" his tone was so controlled, so even and level and unlike the denji that you knew and, dare you say it, loved. it sent another shot tubneling straight through your heart, and you were glad that you were currently facing away from him. you wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face as all of your tentative hopes were crushed under his heel. all you wanted to do was curl in on yourself and maybe try to cry away the numbness that was invading your body from the chest outward.

you raised a shaking hand to push denji's own off of you, and you felt the mattress underneath you creak as the boy shifted in confusion at your behaviour.

"y/n?"

your kept your back turned to him as you got out of his bed, pulling on your own clothed and scowling in frustration when you couldn't find your shirt anywhere. you were seconds away from letting the first droplets fall, and you did not want to let denji see.

you snagged some random material of a shirt off of the bedroom floor, yanking it over your head and turning to face denji with a face that you hoped wasn't too scrunched from holding back your tears.

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

you didn't have time to register his wounded facial expression or the pleading calls of your name that he cast towards your retreating figure, but you grabbed your shoes before leaving his dorm, shutting the door behind you a little too forcefully and storming off back to your own room.

you must look insane, padding along the halls with no shoes as angry tears streaked down your face and you tried your best not to audibly sob. by the time you had made it back to your room your eyes were streaming, and you flopped on your bed with little regard for anything else other than crying your eyes out.

truth be told, after that fateful night and the best cry of your life you felt much better. you knew where you stood, you had your feelings sorted out, and you knew that a little distance would really help you to finally move on from your friend.

now, if only denji would stop calling and texting you like nothing had happened.

you felt like you could scream when you saw a notification from him, asking if you wanted to study for the test that you had next week. you bit back the petty urge to ask him if he wanted to study with you as just friends, instead opting to turn your phone off and bury your face in your pillow once again.

matters of the heart take time, after all.

on denji's end, things weren't looking much better. he brushed off his confusion at your actions and words when you had left so abruptly the other day, only to find himself staring at his ceiling trying to decipher his feelings and what the hell you had meant.

he likes makima. and he has, for a while now. he could count on one hand the amount of times he had interacted with the girl who sat in front of him in the lecture hall, and every time had been met with this strange giddy feeling in his chest. though it was rare, he knew that feeling.

but the one he felt right now was so, so, different. when the door clicked shut behind you, it felt like a piece of him had up and left along with you. the very reason that he had accelerated things so far in your relationship was because of how right things felt with you. the slightest graze of your fingertips across his chest didn't light any fireworks in his mind, but it's like warmth perforated his skin and was injected straight into him from you.

truth be told, that feeling was the most addicting he had ever felt. and when he heard that air of finality right after the door shut behind you, it didn't take long for denji to realise just how cold everything felt without you.

but he still liked makima, right?

that giddy feeling in his chest he got from her was enough to fill the you-shaped hole, right?

you not talking to him wasn't what made his heart hurt, right?

he only realised just how wrong he had it when he talked to makima for the fourth time ever. she had turned in her seat, even smiling at him and asking for a pen, and all that came to mind was how much he missed your smile.

hell, he missed everything. the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair. the way you fit against him and said his name. and that's when he realised this you-related feeling was.

longing.

there was a knock on your door. and another. you groaned, rolling over to check the time to see that it was three in the morning.

by the time you had cracked your door open you saw a flash of blond hair and a face all-too-familiar, you knew it was too late to slam your door shut. denji's face perked up, and you already knew that you were done for.

he lifted his hand, revealing a pretty albeit crumpled bouquet of flowers. you almost giggled to yourself, guessing that the mastermind of that romantic gesture was most likely denji's roommate aki. but it was appreciated, nonetheless.

"what do you want, denji?" you were painfully aware of just how much of a mess you looked right now- eyes still red around the rim from how many self-pitying tears you had shed over this entire situation.

denji's mouth and opened and closed, and you sighed against your barely open door which still had a chain on it.

"i'm not in the mood, denji."

"no, no, it's just that i wanted to say that i've finally figured out what we are." it appears tgat your friend finally found his voice. you looked him in the eye again, trying not to let the hope in your heart build itself too high. "we're way more than friends, y/n."

you felt any resistance crumble at those words, and the sheepish smile on your face grew.

"so, can i come in?" you smiled at denji, shutting your door to undo the latch before opening it again, wide enough to let him back in to your life. consider him a weakness of yours.

the first thing denji did when he crossed the threshold of your door was wrap his arms around you, dried tears and crumpled flowers and all, and bury his face in your hair. the only words he had to offer was a mumbled i miss you into your skin, and you felt your body melt against him like it had so many times before.

when you finally broke apart, you couldn't help but wonder.

"so, what are the flowers for denji?" the boy before you blushed, his eyes flitting off to the side. he raised a hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath to summon some courage.

"i was hoping... that i could take you out on a date. or be your boyfriend. something like that."

"what?" denji was still bright red, though his eyes were locked onto yours.

"you heard me." you smiled once again, taking a step forwards and effectively closing the distance between you two.

"i would love to."

take a look at the menu - ,, ⚖️ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[kaepop-trash]

I wish you would write a johnny one shot where he's being cold to you just bc he's jealous and he keeps on denying he's not idk how to explain just make it a fluff and him being a giant baby 😭

This said one shot and I went with it 💀 I'm convinced that Johnny would be sulky when he's mad but doesn't want to be. You can kind of consider this as a prequel to this tbh, sort of realised halfway that it fits.

__

Summary: Johnny was your best friend. He took it to heart when you once told him that you trusted him with all your being. So much so that he disliked himself for growing feelings for you. The thoughts he had of you did not deserve your trust, and they were only made worse when you started getting closer to Doyoung.

WC: 2.6k (why?)

Warnings: none

__

Johnny took a sip from his coffee, watching the interaction that was playing out in front of him. He knew that Doyoung was clearly flirting with her. It was obvious by the way he stepped a little closer, but it was also obvious by the way she laughed at whatever he was saying.

Usually, Johnny wouldn't mind these things. In the entire group, he knew that he was the one she was the closest to. He'd even told people that she was his best friend. But the moment from last week's party kept playing over and over in his head.

When the bottle landed on (Y/N), Taeyong had decided to throw a pity question at her on account of how drunk she was. 'Who are you most compatible with?' was an easy question that everybody expected the same answer for. So when she didn't say Johnny's name it was already surprising. But saying Doyoung's name had certainly caught Johnny off guard.

She swore it was true though, Doyoung and her had the same disdain for the outdoors and other people in general. She had even pointed an accusatory finger at Johnny and reminded him that he was too fit, social and happy all the time to be absolutely compatible with her.

Johnny took another sip of his ice-cold beverage, almost empty, as he waited for (Y/N) to come with her own order back to their table.

Eventually, Doyoung let her go with a wave. Probably off to class early enough to be on time. They were also in the same major, Johnny noted with a scoff under his breath.

Once he was gone, she finally made her way towards him, giving him an apologetic smile as she approached.

"Sorry, I was just asking Doyoung about an assignment submission." She pointed her thumb behind her after putting her tray down on the table. "I'm sorry, I know you have a class right now." She grimaced.

"It's fine. I'm almost done with my coffee anyway." He shrugged, shaking the ice in his glass without looking up at her.

"You can go," She told him, knowing full well that he wouldn't. "I'll just finish this up and go to my class in an hour." She told him.

"Okay." Johnny said, getting up and sipping the last of his coffee. "I'll see you later, (Y/N)." He announced with his eyes on the table, looking up momentarily to catch the way her face fell with a sense of inner satisfaction.

"Okay, what are you doing after your classes today?" She asked with a hopeful voice.

"Assignment submission." He told her before walking away.

__

Johnny was lying in bed, scrolling through his phone when his door opened. (Y/N) stood at the entrance, yelping when the door hit the wall with a loud thud.

"You were supposed to be at the library." She told him. Johnny turned over, looking at her silhouette being illuminated by the light from the living room.

"Sorry, I guess I forgot." He told her, turning over to face his back to her.

"No, you didn't. You never forget." She walked around the bed to face him again. "What's up with you? I already told you I don't get these moody phases of yours. Just tell me you need to be alone or you're pissed and I'll understand. Don't pull all this crap with me, Johnny Suh." She stomped her foot on the floor.

Johnny gripped his jaw but refused to look away from his phone. "You're assuming too much. I told you I just forgot. It's been a busy week for me." He sighed, putting a hand under his head to get cozier in his position.

"Fine whatever." Her voice dropped to a passive tone. "Deal with your shit yourself." She added, the lack of emotion in her tone making Johnny look up to see her face— equally impassive.

As she turned to leave, Johnny sat up in bed. But she left in a rush, slamming the door shut so loud that Johnny winced.

__

"Where's (Y/N)?" Yuta asked as they sat down together on the couch. All the eyes in the room turned to Johnny and he just shrugged in response, looking down to the floor.

"She mentioned something about going grocery shopping today." Doyoung mentioned, taking his phone out of his pocket.

Johnny clenched his jaw. They always went grocery shopping together.

"Yeah, she's asking if you guys need something and she'll bring it by tomorrow. So I guess she's not coming." Doyoung informed the room.

"I need peanut butter," Mark said out loud. "Johnny, didn't you say you wanted shampoo?" He turned to face him.

"I'll get it myself later." He told him, doing a terrible job of sulking in silence. Everybody gave each other confused looks.

Johnny stood in the kitchen drinking water when Yuta approached him.

"Doyoung's gotten really close to (Y/N), huh?" Yuta hummed. "It must be after that assignment they did together." He came and leaned beside Johnny.

"Why are you telling me this?" Johnny questioned.

"Because you know. He might not be as reluctant as you and actually ask her out. Then you'll just have to keep being jealous like this forever." Yuta shrugged.

"I'm not jealous." Johnny aimed a glare at Yuta. "Let him ask her out if he wants. (Y/N) is her own person. She can do what she likes." Despite the uncaring words, his jaw was clenched.

"She already is. Going to buy groceries without you and all of that." He sounded proud, "A true independent woman. Meanwhile, you're sulking and glaring at Doyoung." He scoffed.

"Go away, Yuta. I don't want to punch you today." Johnny grumbled. Yuta just laughed his way out of the room.

__

"What's up with you two?" Taeyong asked (Y/N) who didn't stop sipping her drink, only shrugging at him.

"I don't know. Ask Johnny. He's the one being erratic all the time. Yesterday he came up to me while I was talking to my TA, pretending that everything is fine." She huffed.

"And what did you do?" Taeyong asked skeptically.

She just shrugged again, "It made my blood boil how he was pretending like everything is fine. So I just told him I'm busy and we can talk later." She feigned nonchalance.

Taeyong sighed, "You know he's not going to apologise even if he did something wrong."

"Well that's his problem, isn't it? I don't understand his random moods at all. And then he goes and does it with me. I don't make my personal issues his problem, do I? Why can't he just talk?" She sat back, arms crossed in defiance.

"You know Johnny doesn't make his problems other people's. Just talk to him now." Taeyong urged, thinking about how sulky Johnny had been lately. He knew very well that if he was acting like this then, at least in his head, Johnny thought that (Y/N) did something that deserved a cold shoulder. "You know he's a big baby sometimes."

"Well then maybe I want to be a big baby this time." She answered with petulance. "I asked him if he wanted to hang out last week, so I tried enough times."

Taeyong frowned, knowing that Johnny was being unfair then. "What did he say?" He questioned with a frown.

She scoffed, looking more offended than she had so far, "He said he's going for a movie with that chick he sits beside in Eco. So I said okay, have fun. He couldn't remember to meet me at the library to finish an essay, but movies are fine." She rolled her eyes.

Taeyong snorted, shaking his head. "I see."

__

(Y/N) was busy in the kitchen with her roommate when their doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Wendy announced while (Y/N) was busy cutting vegetables.

Shuffling footsteps made her look up to the sight of Johnny walking into the kitchen, panting like he'd just been on a run. His brows were knit when they made eye contact, wet strands of hair falling over his gaze and looking far too good for someone absolutely disheveled. She took in a sharp breath as her cheeks heated from the sight, the knife slipping a little from her hand.

"Fuck." She winced when the blade sliced her finger, looking down just as Johnny rushed to her side.

"Are you okay?" He asked, voice deep with concern as he took her hand into his.

"I'm fine." She mumbled, taking her hand from his and turning to the sink to wash the wound.

"Is it deep?" He asked, looking over her shoulder to her hand. She didn't respond, focusing instead of inspecting the area. "I'll get the first-aid kit." He said, walking away towards something. She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

When Johnny returned empty-handed, he had a lost look on his face upon seeing Wendy bandaging her finger.

"We keep our first-aid kit in the kitchen." (Y/N) spoke without looking up.

"Oh, that's great." He sighed from relief. "Does it hurt?"

"Of course it hurts, I cut my finger open." She maintained the same tone.

"Right. That was a stupid question to ask." He nodded to himself, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"Why are you here, Johnny?" She asked with a frown aimed at her hand. Wendy looked up to give her a perplexed look before turning to look at Johnny with equal confusion.

"I just–" He paused, swallowing a breath. "Umm, I just wanted to hang out I guess?" He ran his fingers through his own hair, the way he did when he was nervous.

The truth was that Yuta had told Johnny that she was going on a date with Doyoung tonight. Something that he kept thinking about as he went on his run, till the point where he was running a little faster and definitely towards her apartment. But upon arrival, he had realised that he'd been played by the idiot liar.

"Wendy and I are just making dinner for the two of us and then we're going to bed." She said, still not looking up at Johnny. "So no hanging out today." She hadn't looked at him once since she stood in his room more than a week ago and it annoyed him.

"(Y/N)." Johnny sighed, and her frown only deepened.

"We have enough food for three. Johnny can stay." Wendy offered, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Johnny eats for two." She said, still not giving him a glance and talking like he wasn't in the room.

"Since you're not going to cook after this anyway. You can just leave that to me. Why don't you both stop sulking? Is this what Taeyong was talking about? About both of you fighting?" She looked between them.

"We aren't fighting." They spoke together.

"Yeah, Johnny's just busy with his friends from his eco class." She looked up at Wendy.

"Yeah, and (Y/N)'s busy finishing assignments with Doyoung. Her new best friend." Johnny chewed on his bottom lip.

She turned to look at him finally. Even with the rage in her eyes, the gaze alone made him sigh in relief.

"I asked him about one assignment. Is that what you're mad about? That I said he's more compatible with me?" She asked him. "Why can't you just say what you're thinking instead of being a dick?" Her brows furrowed further.

"You're one to talk. You've just been ignoring me and talking to me like I'm not even there. Why can't you say what you're thinking?" It was his turn to frown.

Wendy slipped off her chair, uncomfortable from being privy to a very heated and private conversation.

"No, sit down. Johnny's leaving." (Y/N) turned back to look at her.

"Don't be mean. You've been sulking because you haven't seen him for a week and now you're being like this. He's staying for dinner. And I'm not sitting down to bear witness to your lover's quarrels. Just kiss each other." She groaned, turning to walk away.

Both their cheeks warmed at the words, anger dying down to awkward fumbles.

"She's just being like this because she had to cancel a date to stay in with me." (Y/N) fidgeting with the scrunchie on her wrist.

"Oh," Johnny said, taking cautious steps across the kitchen to come stand in front of her. "I'm sorry for forgetting about the library." He mumbled, reaching out to trace a finger on her arm. When it erupted in goosebumps like he predicted, Johnny smiled.

When he looked up after, she had an expectant brow raised. Johnny chuckled under his breath.

"I'm also sorry for being weird with you. I was just in a mood." He sighed, "I didn't realise how mad you were till you got all quiet and distant. I was so scared." He carded his fingers through hers, using his thumb to trace circles on her palm.

"Scared about what?" She asked with a small whisper.

"Scared that I lost you." His voice was small.

It was the toughest ground for him to stand on. On one hand, Johnny was afraid of making a move because he was scared she wouldn't feel the same. On the other, he was also afraid that someone else would in the meantime. Both instances would lead to him losing her so he told himself that things were best the way they were.

"It will take you more than a bad mood to lose me. I don't want you to always be happy and at peak energy, you know? I just want to know what's bothering you. You can tell me, can't you? Don't I mean enough to you?" She squeezed his hand.

Johnny finally looked up at her, both of them taking a sharp inhale at their proximity. "I think the problem is that you mean too much to me." He smiled, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing the bandaged finger. Her lips parted with an unsteady inhale, as she followed his lips with her gaze as he pulled back.

Johnny's heart pounded at the realisation of his space. He stood with her hand in hers, close enough that he could hear her rapidly rising heartbeat. Giving in to what he thought was a daze, he started to lean in to close the gap he'd been so afraid of.

"Have you guys made up yet?" Wendy's voice chimed in as she walked towards the kitchen. Both of them pulled back from each other, the action making Johnny realise that she must have leaned in too.

"Yes, all made up." She patted her leg, letting out a breathless sigh. "Let's make dinner for four, Wendy." She smiled at him.

__

Send me an ask with a summary of the fic you wish I would write and I will write a tidbit

[amxranthiine]

imagine being the ex-friend of the slytherin crew. [she/her] (no voldy bc ew)

had this thought at 3am last night while fangirling with my friend last night. sorry for any errors <3

angst, mentions of parents disowning child, blood prejudice, mention of childhood/forbidden crush

- [ ] you had known draco, blaise, theo, pansy, astoria and daphne since you were very young.

- [ ] since you all were two to be exact. your parents were close and your birthdays weren't too far apart, so it was only natural that you all became a crew growing up, anxiously waiting for your eleventh birthdays.

- [ ] you all were inseparable. you learned to fly together, talk together, walk together... hell, you had all learned you were wizards together.

- [ ] you were always closer to blaise than the rest of the crew. you were younger than him, though not by much, and he seemed protective over you. as inseparable the rest of you were, blaise couldn't go anywhere without you, and the same goes for you to him.

- [ ] how ecstatic you were when you all got your hogwarts letters! you were going to be in the same year and hopefully, probably, the same house!

- [ ] it was expected of you all to be in slytherin, all coming from very long lines of prestigious pureblood serpents.

- [ ] the other six were more than confident that they would all be in slytherin together. you? not so much.

- [ ] you were very nervous, to say the least. you didn't portray the slytherin traits as much as the others.

- [ ] and when pansy or blaise would try to reassure you that it would be fine, you couldn't help but wonder if they were trying to convince you or themselves.

- [ ] and because you didn't portray the serpent traits, that made them all extremely protective of you. blaise especially, draco and theo coming close in second, and the girls just wanted to make sure you were okay.

- [ ] but the moment the sorting hat yelled out a name that wasn't slytherin, everything stopped.

- [ ] your friendships with your lifelong friends, your crush on blaise (okay, that didn't go away), everything you grew up with just... disappeared.

- [ ] your now ex-friends wanted nothing to do with you, even your parents didn't want to speak to you. your housemates were cruel, jesting about how you were a stain on their house, and a snake deep down.

- [ ] it was safe to say you had no one.

- [ ] the crew started being mean to you somewhere around christmas of first year. before then, they had just ignored you. just like everyone else.

- [ ] after christmas though... they seemed to have a new hatred for you.

- [ ] especially blaise, which hurt the most. you swore you were seeing things when you thought you saw sadness somewhere in his eyes whenever he was rude to you.

- [ ] you were alone for the remainder of first year, and for the first two months of second.

- [ ] that's when you met luna, neville and ginny. you guys were thick as thieves, and for the first time for two years, you were actually happy.

- [ ] of course, your childhood friends were still mean to you, nothing had really changed on that part. but you were... happier, and that hurt them. because you happier without them, and that wasn't how it was supposed to be.

- [ ] they supposed they should be glad that you were doing better. last year, they were going mad out of worry for you. apparently you had stayed at hogwarts for christmas out of request from your parents, and it was christmas day when the adults told the rest of them to stop associating with you.

- [ ] it remained fairly passive over the next few years, you remained close with luna, neville and ginny, and had even befriended the golden trio and the twins!

- [ ] the serpent squad didn't like that too much, but they supposed your current friends were better than no friends, and as long as you were happy, they were happy

- [ ] but they still continue their kind-of bullying. they weren't as cruel to you as they were to others, but words still hurt and boy do they have a snake's tongue on them.

- [ ] blaise could hardly stand being away from you but his mother had made him swear that he would not associate with you, the blood traitor.

- [ ] all he wanted to do was hold you, but he rather bullied you instead.

- [ ] it was the beginning of sixth year when draco and pansy had gone too far. the other four were just watching blankly, trying not to let their discomfort show as the two reprimanded you, mocked you, and insulted you in the middle of the great hall. calling you a blood traitor, a stain of your family name and house name, and even going as far as saying "no wonder your parents don't want you, just look at you!" while the all the slytherins around them laughed. or at least, pretended to.

- [ ] you had looked at them for a long time, teary eyed and red faced, just trying to understand what you did to deserve this. until you nodded your head, said "okay," and walked out of the great hall.

- [ ] they heard your friends call your name, your closest ones even running after you.

- [ ] theo and blaise looked like they were about to beat draco to death, astoria and daphne were just disappointed in pansy, they knew how much she missed you, and yet she ruined any chance of you forgiving them.

- [ ] blaise eventually decided against killing the blonde and ran after you, the rest following suit after a moment.

- [ ] it didn't take them long to find you, sobbing against a wall with your head in your hands, ginny, nev and luna all crowded around you. rubbing your back and whispering reassurances in your ear.

- [ ] "i don't know what i did to deserve that," you cried, sniffling as you wiped your nose on your sleeve and looked and ginny.

- [ ] "oh love, you didn't do anything," the ginger said, wrapping her arms around you.

- [ ] "don't listen to them, y/n! they're just prats!" assured nev, leaning against the wall awkwardly, with one hand on your back.

- [ ] luna played with your hair, "yeah, y/n, they don't deserve your love and kindness."

- [ ] "thank you guys. i mean it. without you three i don't know where i would be." you laughed, but no part of it was humorous.

- [ ] draco, being the blonde he was, decided it was a good time to intervene, "hopefully alive, haha."

- [ ] the six of them had come out from around the corner, feeling ashamed and wanting to hit themselves for making you cry.

- [ ] "what do you lot wanf? haven't you done enough?" asked ginny, placing herself in front of you.

- [ ] "yes but.."

- [ ] "no, you don't get to talk. now piss off before you do even more damage."

- [ ] "we just want to apologize," said blaise.

- [ ] you scoffed, "a bit late for that."

- [ ] pansy looked down, "we're really sorry, y/n, for what just happened and for everything the past six years. you know how our families are and they told us to stop talking to you... so we did."

- [ ] all feelings of sadness were gone now, pansy's words has ignited a flame within you, one you've been holding in for years.

- [ ] "stop talking to me? so that gave you permission to be bloody awful to me? merlin's beard, you six were worse than umbridge on her bad days! you could have just... i don't know, explained what happened in first year? and apologized for abandoning me? and maybe we could still be friends! but no, you lot ruined any chance of that ever happening again. so thank you for that." you paused to take a breath. your audience was wide eyed and shocked, not quite believing you had such anger in you... but oh man, you weren't done yet.

- [ ] "and let me just say, blaise, your insults hurt the most. merlin, i thought the world of you. i thought you were my everything. but that all just went away the moment you thought not associating with me, meant making my life a living hell."

- [ ] you were, once again, crying. you took a deep breath and sadness took over you once again, you mumbled an "excuse me" and took off down the corrider.

- [ ] the serpent squad was stunned. they hadn't realised what they did effected you that much. blaise was upset with himself, disappointed, even. he felt the same about you, even if you both were too young for it to be love, and now he knew he never get it pack.

- [ ] theo cleared his throat and tried looking anywhere but at the trio in front of them, who were looking at the six with anger and disappointment.

- [ ] "you guys couldn't even begin to understand what she's been through," neville said after moments of awkward silence. "not long after the sorting ceremory, her parents sent her a letter, practically disowning her. before that, you guys abandoned her. she was alone for nearly a year and a half before we met her. and by merlin she was a wreck."

- [ ] ginny and luna chuckled, not out of humor, but out of irony. this situation was similar to the situation you were in when you met them.

- [ ] neville ignored them, and the curious stares the six were giving him, and continued, this time fueled by anger.

- [ ] "we were the ones who picked up the pieces. we were the ones who made sure she didn't die after losing everything she had ever known. we were the ones who made her smile again, happy again. we picked up the pieces because you weren't there, and you were exactly what had caused it in the first place." neville spit out the last sentence as if it were venom, hoping to hurt them as much as they hurt you.

- [ ] they were all on the verge of tears, daphne and astoria were holding each other and looked to be in the most pain, because they missed you the most.

- [ ] "i hope you lot are happy with yourselves, you're about five years to late to the pity party."

[slasherhaven]

howdy!¡,,, i love your writing👉👈. are u taking requests? if so could i request a (oddly specific) future s/o that is spared bc when they were unconscious and Luda was singing she called her mama so Luda decided to keep her bc "I've always wanted a girl" and so she finds herself having to interact and introduce herself to Thomas? If not that's okay dw!

Thomas Hewitt X Female Reader

I’ve Always Wanted a Girl

Word count: 2682

Luda May dabbed a cloth against the cut on your forehead, wiping away the blood. You had a pretty nasty fall, hitting your head and knocking yourself unconscious. 

Instead of having Thomas take you straight down to the basement, she asked him to lay you on the couch. You just looked so peaceful in your sleep, so she thought that she could at least take care of you a little while Thomas prepped the basement.

Luda May knew that you couldn’t actually be left alone, in case you woke up and escaped. So, she went about her business, cleaning up the living room. All while humming and singing softly to herself.

Your hearing rang in your ears as your consciousness slowly returned to you, eyes blinking open but vision blurred. You slowly started to process the sound of somebody singing, a blurred figure moving around the room. The song sounded familiar...something your mother used to sing to you as a child.

“Mama?...” you weren’t even aware that you spoke, but the older woman heard you instantly.

Your voice halted Luda May in her tracks, making her turn to you. A small smile formed on her face, well isn’t that sweet?

She walked over to where you lay and sat down beside you. “You’re alright now, Dear” she cooed to you, brushing your hair out of your face. The touch and shushing was comforting in your dizzy state, and it lulled you back to sleep.

Luda May looked up when she heard Thomas enter the room, probably to take you down to the basement. “Leave her be, Tommy” she smiled, earning her a confused head tilt from the large man. “I’ve always wanted a daughter” she confessed, making her intentions known.

Thomas just nodded, accepting her decision. He didn’t mind so much as long as you didn’t harm anyone, but he was sure that Hoyt wouldn’t approve. Though...Luda May would certainly get her way.

“Thomas, be a good boy and take her up to the spare room, will you?” she asked.

Thomas nodded, walking over to you and Luda May stood up. He carefully slipped an arm under your shoulders and another under your knees, lifting you off of the couch and holding you against his chest. He could see what Luda May saw in you, you looked so sweet and peaceful, he just wondered what had happened to make her change her mind so quickly.

Luda May just smoothed a hand over your hair again before letting him carry you up to the small unused bedroom.

Laying you down on the bed, Thomas cautiously pushed some hair out of our face, examining you before pulling his hand away. You were beautiful, even in your state of disarray after everything you had been through that day. There were still the stains of dried tears on your cheeks, but still you looked unrealistically pretty. You were the prettiest, sweetest looking thing in this house, you wouldn’t be a bad addition to the household. At least that’s how Thomas felt while looking at you, before quickly turning on his heel and leaving the room before he caught himself staring too long. 

And that’s the short version of how you became the newest Hewitt. The family was obviously still cautious of you, watching your every move, but they made it clear that you were one of them now. Maybe you just had no backbone or maybe you were a realist, but you accepted your fate with some time and tried to adapt to it. 

Luda May had insisted on you referring to her as “Mama”, and you did to keep the peace, Monty bossed you about most of the time, and you avoided Hoyt as much as you could since he seemed to be the least happy about your presence. Luda May had seemed to take on a motherly role with you, speaking to you as if you were her daughter, asking you to join her with chores and cooking. It had become a little routine for you now.

Then there was Thomas. Luda May had introduced you to him, he had nodded and shook your hand when prompted too. His hand completely engulfed your own, but his hold was surprisingly gentle despite the strength you could feel he possessed. 

He didn’t talk much...ever, actually, and he seemed to avoid you a lot. If you didn’t need to be in the room together, he wouldn’t be there, hiding away somewhere else in the house. Though, when you were in the same room, you could sometimes feel him staring at you. You were sure he didn’t notice it, otherwise he would have surely been more subtle about it. Whenever you looked over and caught him staring, he would stare at the floor or his hands in shame.

Truth be told, you weren’t sure what to make of the large man. He was intimidating and had a threatening stature but he never gave you true reason to fear him. He was quiet and gentle whenever he had to interact with you, he was downright timid, and he seemed to have the same avoidance you had with Hoyt. 

You could tell that he was closer to Luda May, his mother. She had told you the full story of how she became Thomas’ mother, having found him cold and alone as an infant. Thomas hadn’t looked at you while she told the story, like he didn’t want to see your pity.

“Oh Thomas!” you heard Luda May’s concerned voice coming from the entrance of the home, “what have you done?” 

With a small frown, you wandered out of the kitchen to see Luda May fussing over Thomas. He was holding a dirty, blood soaked rag against the palm of his hand. He just shook his head, silently assuring her that he was fine.

“If you’re not going to take care of it, I will. Go to your room, I’ll be up in a moment” spoke like a true mother, you smiled a little bit to yourself. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, you were an honorary member of this family.

Thomas huffed, making you smile again, before nodding and marching up the stairs.

Luda May muttered to herself, shaking her head as she turned to you. “Oh, Y/n, dear. Come with me” she encouraged, passing you as she walked into the kitchen. You followed behind obediently.

“Thomas has cut open his palm. Probably on one of those cars, they’re death-traps” she told you as she started digging through one of the kitchen cabinets. You decided against pointing out the irony.

“Now I have to convince Hoyt to finish the job” she huffed before turning to you with a box in her hands. “Do you mind taking car of Tommy for me?” she asked, presenting the box, presumably a first aid kit of sorts, to you.

“Oh, I don’t think I know how too” you shook your head, eyes widening slightly.

“You clean the wound, clean it with some alcohol to prevent infection, and wrap it with some bandages” she told you simply.

“What if it needs stitches?” you asked, still not taking the box.

“I taught you to sew, didn’t I?” she asked and you nodded, eyes wide at that being the only qualification you apparently needed. “Thomas will help you with the rest” she assured you before thrusting the box into your hands.

You gripped the box nervously before Luda May left the room. Wandering out of the kitchen, you came to the bottom of the staircase. Walking up the stairs was daunting, you had barely spent any time alone with Thomas, and this was definitely be the longest amount of time you spent directly interacting with him.

Finally, you were standing outside of Thomas’ bedroom. You decided to knock, not wanting to be impolite. You heard movement on the other side of the door before it was pulled open, you had to tilt your head back slightly to look up at Thomas’ face.

His eyes were widened slightly, clearly surprised to see you. “Luda May sent me to look at your hand” you explained, glancing down at his still bleeding hand. Even though Luda May insisted on you referring to her as ‘mama’, you only did so when she was around.

Thomas seemed hesitant but eventually nodded and stepped to the side, allowing you to enter his room. You heard the door close behind you as you quickly glanced around. The room was a little bigger than yours but you wondered if Thomas comfortably lay on the single bed in the room, he seemed a little too big for it even though an average sized man would probably be comfortable in it. It was tidier than you expected it to be, no clothes left out or anything.

You turned back to the man when you hears his footsteps behind you, he was still a few feet away from you.

“Uh...should we sit down?” you asked when he didn’t make any move. 

Thomas nodded before crossing the room to his bed, sitting down on the edge. You walked over and sat down beside him, leaving enough room to place the first aid box on the bed between you both.

“Let me see your hand” you ordered gently. 

Thomas unwrapped the dirty rag from his hand and held it out to you. Carefully, you took hold of his hand in both of yours, turning it slightly to examine the wound. Thomas just watched, noticing how big his hands were compared to yours. He had noticed it when he shook your hand all that time ago but this made it even more oblivious, how you used both of your hands to move and turn it as you pleased. It was cute but the tenderness of your actions was what tugged at his heart the most.

“We should clean away the blood first. I can barely see it” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him. “I’ll go get some water” you suddenly dropped his hand and stood from the bed, with a nervous clumsiness.

You barely looked at him before leaving the room. Thomas shook his head at himself. You were so nervous, even to just be in a room with him. He wished he knew what you were thinking but he was sure that you were afraid of him, probably thinking he would hurt you. He couldn’t blame you. Why wouldn’t you think that? What else could make you so nervous about being near him?

His thought were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing, making him look up to see you walking back towards him with a bowl of water and a new cloth.

You sat back on the bed, placing the bowl on top of the box that sat between you both. 

“Hand” you spoke gently, holding your own out. He placed the back of his hand in your palm, growing unsure when he saw you frown. 

You hummed before pushing his hand back again. He was about to insist that he take care of his own wound, it wouldn’t be the first time, but then you pushed the box and the bowl further back onto the bed. He was surprised when you moved to sit closer to him, turning your body to face him and bringing one knee up onto the mattress.

You took hold of his hand again, gently placing it in your lap. He was definitely surprised by your actions but allowed it.

You worked in silence, wetting the cloth and cleaning away the blood from his hand. Thomas watched how intently you worked and how gentle you were being with him, like you were purposely trying not to hurt him.

Once the blood was cleaned up, you placed the bowl and bloody cloth down on the floor and opened the first aid kit. Inside the box was a small bottle of alcohol, a tube of some sort of cream, a fresh cloth, bandages, and the items you would need to apply stitches.

You picked up the bottle of alcohol and the fresh cloth. “This will probably sting” you warned him, looking up at him with genuine concern in your eyes. He just nodded. 

You poured some alcohol onto the cloth before pressing it to his injured hand. He didn’t make a sound of pain or pull away but you did feel him tense even more than he already was. “Sorry” you murmured, making sure to coat the hold wound.

Once you were done with that, you placed the now dirty cloth in the water bowl with the other and closed the bottle before placing it back in the box. 

You looked back at the hand, squinting at it slightly. You weren’t an expert at tending to wounds, you didn’t really know how deep the wound was or if it called for more than bandages.

“...do you think it needs stitches?” you asked, looking up at him again. Looking a little lost at what to do.

Thomas examined his own hand before shaking his head, smiling a little to himself as you let out a sigh of relief. 

You reached back into the box, picking up the tube and smiling as you read the label. “Here, let me put some of this one it” you offered. 

He just nodded, placing his hand back in your lap, allowing you to apply the antibacterial cream to his wound. He needed all the protection he can get with his work conditions.

You continued in silence as you finished and wrapped the bandages around his hand, securing them before packing everything back into the box.

“How does that feel? Too tight?” you asked and he shook his head, assuring you that it was fine. “Don’t forget to change them, alright?” you advised, “oh, and keep it clean.”

Again, he just nodded.

“...did you do this on one of the cars?” he nodded again. “Does that happen a lot?” he nodded again, confused about your questioning.

You just frowned, but you weren’t surprised. You had noticed a lot of little scars on his hands as you worked and the house wasn’t exactly hazard free. “Well, you should be more careful” you put a small smile on your face as you met his gaze again.

“I should go and finish cleaning the kitchen...if you need something, let me know, okay?” your offer seemed sincere enough, so he nodded. You were used to his silence.

You stood and collected the items you had brought in with you, heading for the door. When Thomas realised that your hands were full, he shot from the bed, hurrying over to open the door for you. 

“Thank you” you smiled before leaving the room. “Tommy” his name made him stop closing the door, pulling it fully open again to look at you. You stood in the hallway now, items piled in your hands, a timid look on your face. “We should hang out more, I feel like you keep hiding from me” you let out a shy laugh.

Thomas was stunned. You wanted to spend more time with him? He nodded before he even realised he had. But he was glad he did because it seemed to put a smile on your face before you turned and headed for the stairs. 

As he watched you disappear down the stairs Thomas became aware of a realisation that filled him with shame and dread. There was no way you would be so kind to him, even be in the same room as him, if you knew the way he thought of you, how he felt about you.

It’s why he had avoided you for so long, admired you from a distance. He didn’t want to scare you and he was nervous around you. Ever since the day he carried you up to the spare room, he had been infatuated with you. He had been enraptured by your beauty, and then in awe of your kindness considering your circumstances.

He loved you...

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

hi i love your writing! and i saw that your requests were open so if you have time can you write sub!harry with a mommy kink were you peg him? just the reader being dom as hell and using harry. both degradation and praise kink in one if you want. thank you!!

mixed with this request: i need more sub harry!! could you make sub harry smut where the fem reader shows her dom side to him for the first time and using toys on him? basically reader has miss kink, she degrades him, ties him and etc?

pairing: harry potter x reader

word count: 1.3k

warning(s): 18+, dom/sub roles, mommy kink, pegging, anal fingering, degradation, praise, slight impact play, light bondage, mentions of oral (female receiving), harry sucks the strap

a/n: dom reader is not my specialty but i hope i did sub harry justice bc y'all seem to love him. enjoy!

“I have something new I’d like to try tonight,” you informed your boyfriend, Harry, as he kneeled on the floor at your feet, the perfect picture of nude submission. “You can use your safeword if you really don’t want it, but I think you’ll like it.”

You knew he’d love it. He usually did when you suggested something new, and you knew this would be no different.

You made your way over to the closet, where you hid your toys from peeping friends and family alike, and quickly grabbed what you wanted and put it on. You slowly walked back towards Harry, but he couldn’t see you yet. And he knew better than to look behind him, knew better than to move from the delicate position he was in.

When you rounded his body to face him fully, his eyes grew wide in shock but he didn’t make a peep. You watched as his expression changed from shock, to confusion, to curiosity, to lust without so much as a word passed between you both. It was enough for you. He wanted it. But you’d still ask.

“Do you want to use your safeword, baby?” You asked, running your fingers through his unkempt hair.

“No,” he said quickly, his eyes never once moving from the strap-on balanced on your hips.

It was a light pink color, something you knew would make him blush based on how feminine it looked. It was about the same length and girth as his own cock, which you knew would stretch him out just as well as he always stretched you, with a curve that was sure to hit his g-spot every time.

It was cute how hard he was focused on it, but both he and you knew that was not a proper answer. You tugged on his hair forcefully until he had no other choice but to look up at you, finally meeting your eye.

“No, what?” You asked, the threat already in your voice.

“No, Mommy,” he replied, a blush creeping up his cheeks once he realized his mistake.

“Didn’t think you would. Look at you - already gagging for it like a little slut. Up on the bed,” you said, pushing him lightly as you spoke.

He maneuvered his way onto the bed with the ease and grace only a Seeker could possess and got onto all fours in the middle of the sheets. He was perfect.

You wasted no time in following after him, lube already in hand as you balanced yourself behind him. You ran a hand down his back lovingly, an unspoken praise to let him know he was exactly where you wanted him, before landing several strokes on his raised ass that forced a high pitched whimper from his throat.

“Are you going to be Mommy’s good little slut tonight?”

“Yes, Mommy,” he almost moaned, arching his back further to present his ass to you.

You took pity on him, truly. He was already so wound up and needy. You generously coated your fingers with lube and got to work stretching him until you were satisfied, the background track of his moans and whimpers only egging you on as you worked.

“Please, fuck me. Mommy, please,” he was begging shamelessly now, aching for more than just your fingers that were purposefully ignoring all of his sensitive spots.

“You’re so fucking desperate,” you said with a little laugh as you adjusted to be kneeling in front of him now. “Suck Mommy real good. It’s not gonna lube itself,” you said with a raised eyebrow, looking between his mouth and the pink strap-on inches from his swollen lips.

You thought he might fight you as you watched his face turn a deeper shade of red, but he gently opened his mouth and began working on taking you down as far as he could. You had to admit, for his first time with a cock in his mouth he wasn’t bad, but he’d have plenty of practice in the future.

You enjoyed watching his work, his focus and dedication only turning you on more, but once you were satisfied you gently pulled it out of his mouth. With a finger under his chin, you lifted his head until you could see his full face. His eyes were near black they were so full of lust, his skin was flushed, and his swollen lips were coated in a layer of his own spit. It almost made you moan.

“You did so good, pretty boy. You ready for my cock now?” You asked gently - it was his first time after all.

“Yes, Mommy. Please,” he replied, voice hoarse from what he just did.

“Do I need to tie you down or are you going to take it like a good boy?”

“I- I- Maybe tie me down,” he finally spit out, struggling for words already.

“Good choice,” you said, placing a quick kiss on his lips before setting to work.

You took one last look at him before lining your cock up with him. He was on his back now, his hands cuffed to the headboard, his legs splayed open and willing. His whole body was flushed and his cock was hard enough to pound nails, leaking a steady stream of precum that let you know he was already on edge.

You pushed into his inch by inch, letting his body adjust as you went, swallowing his moans with each kiss. When you were pushed inside to the hilt, you finally pulled back to look at his face.

“You’re a beautiful little mess right now. Next time we do this it’s in front of the mirror so you can see how fucked out you look on Mommy’s cock,” your words had his moaning and fighting not to push against you if the way his arms shook told you anything.

“Fuck me, please,” he begged weakly, but you could see how desperate he was in his eyes.

You started with slow thrusts, getting used to the motion yourself, relishing in the way he let out a moan every time you hit his prostate. Finally, you worked your way up until you were fucking him without abandon, brutal thrusts that had him fighting not to move up the bed.

“I’m gonna cum,” he said quickly in between moans, clearly fighting against himself to make the moment last longer.

What was even better was that he was about to cum without a single touch on his cock.

“Cum on Mommy’s cock. Show me what a good little slut you are, not even having to get your cock touched to cum. Messy little whore,” you mused, and somewhere in the midst of it, he let go.

Watching him cum from your own ministrations was a magical experience. His back bowed off the bed as his cock twitched, letting rope after rope of cum land on his stomach and chest. You swore it went on forever as you gently fucked him through it, but finally he was attempting to buck you off, aimlessly whining as you kept pumping into him.

You pulled out gently, but kept his hands cuffed as you crawled up the bed to place little kisses all over his face.

“That was beautiful, baby. You took that so well,” you praised with an easy smile, your heart full of love for him. And your body was full of need, but that could wait. Or so you thought.

“Wanna make you feel good, too,” he offered, a slow smile creeping onto his face as he looked at you.

He was utterly blissed out and still lost in his own body’s release, but who were you to say no to that? Especially when he looked like if you said no, it might break him?

“You stay just like that and Mommy will ride your face, hm? You’re so good at that,” you said, already moving into position as you both shared a smile that could only mean both of you were in for a long night of back and forth.

[undermattsun-archive]

tell me

(skate rat) miyas x fem!reader | w.c 1.6k

a/n: ok look i’m no brother fucker on main, but the lewding potential post-show me was too delicious, and if i’m not an opportunistic whore... so here it is the pt 2 y’all keep screaming about that i actually started writing no more than two hrs after posting show me bc i have no self control

another big thankies to @sugardaddykenma for giving this a read over big fat wet besitos for u

18+ university | please read ALL warnings

warnings: INCEST full on (i’m sorry god), dubcon/noncon elements, fingering, overstimulation, dumbification (lowkey), degradation, manipulation, a dash of gaslighting, a bit of humiliation, virginity loss (mentioned), crybaby!reader, little bit of mind break, reader is tired + slurs words a bit

just...them taking advantage of dumb reader

read show me first! (not necessary but appreciated + it would make more sense to do so) NOW with the third part make me !!

One hour, twenty-six minutes and who knows how many seconds have gone by since your brothers have decided to go into an entire good cop, bad cop tirade.

Their words barely making a dent in your mind as a soreness settles in your bones, the added discomfort of a mixture of sweat, saliva and cum drying on your skin with the debauched feeling of Kita’s cum dripping from your sore cunt keeping your mind thoroughly distracted.

“You’re never gonna see him again.” Atsumu-nii barks out.

“It’s better that way.” Osamu-nii adds gently.

“In fact he’s dead next time we see him.”

“Yeah, very much dead.”

“We told him to stay away from you, fuck.” Atsumu flops down beside you, Osamu follows sitting on your other side.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” You mumble, regretting your words the second you see the look in your brothers’ eyes.

“Not that big a deal?” Atsumu’s voice is no more than a low growl as he rises, eyes narrowing at the statement. “Kita’s a fucking bastard and you just let him between your legs like it was nothing. Are you stupid?”

Your eyes widen at the accusation as you scoot away from him, drawing your knees to your chest, letting your eyes fall to the rumpled blankets surrounding you.

“You let him cum inside you?” A gasp falls from your lips, embarrassment scorches through you as you realize the way your bare cunt is exposed by the way you’re sitting. You immediately shoot back, slamming into Osamu as you squeeze your legs shut, dread filling your lungs as Atsumu crawls forward.

“Our little sister really is dumb. Is that what you’ve been up to while you’re away?” He’s always been faster than you, proven by how his fingers are already around your wrist, yanking you towards him. You know that struggling is a moot point, he’s bigger and faster and so much stronger. But you can’t help but wiggle around, barely able to make him budge even a centimeter.

“No! That was my first...” you bite your tongue as Atsumu crosses his legs and seats you in his lap, your back pressed against his chest as he snakes an arm around your waist. He rests his chin atop your head, a thoughtful hum vibrating in his chest against you.

“Hear that Samu?” Atsumu squeezes you tightly as your eyes frantically dart around Osamu’s features, silently begging for him to free you from this situation.

“Yeah Tsumu, she really gave up her virginity to Kita.”

“Like an idiot.” They muse in unison.

“I- but-”

“But nothing. Now your nii-chan’s need to clean you up. Stupid little girl.” He mutters against your hair, smoothing his hands over your thighs, spreading them apart more and more. Stretching them until they’re caught by his knees, rendering you helplessly exposed.

“Umm.” Your legs twitch, the position all too embarrassing, the powerlessness of it parallel to when you were being held by Kita. Taboo, the position screams.

“It’s okay, dumb girls like you make mistakes all the time,” Osamu smiles gently, shifting over to lift the hem of your shirt, handing it to Atsumu keeping it pinned just above your belly button, “that’s why you have us.”

Confusion swirls as you watch your older brother's fingers disappear into his mouth, eyes watching as his tongue flicks over the digits, retracting them slowly.

“Ah! Wait!” You yelp out as he pushes his index and middle fingers past your puffy hole, a stinging pleasure making the taut muscles of your thighs twitch. Atsumu lets out another low laugh, steadying your legs, forcing you to keep still as Osamu continues to prod further. The blunt ends of his fingers pressing and dragging against the sore gummy walls.

“Too much, too much.” You gasp as Osamu’s fingers dig further into your cunt, shaking as you feel the tips of fingers brush against your cervix. Fat tears begin to roll down your face as you press harder back into Atsumu, as if you could find escape in the rigid planes of his body. 

His fingers continue to twist and scour, the sensation is all too overwhelming, making your throat tighten as you make futile attempts at clamping your legs shut, only making Atsumu snicker above you. You watch with panting breaths as Osamu finally draws out his fingers, covered in the milky white slick, evidence of the sins you committed just a few hours before. 

“What a sloppy cunt, you really let him make a whore of you huh?” Atsumu bites, the words cut into you, the betrayal in his voice making your throat tighten further. You can only manage to choke out a broken sob of a denial as Osamu brings his fingers against your lips.

“Say ‘ah’.” You shake your head frantically, face quickly being caught in Osamu’s other hand.

“Don’t be difficult, we’re helping you.” Disappointment, the disappointment crumbles what little fighting spirit you had in the first place, you can’t stop the tears from falling as you let Osamu slip slicked fingers into your mouth. Lazily you swirl your tongue around them, exhaustion starting to sweep over you. 

“All good?” Atsumu asks as Osamu pulls his digits from your mouth, smiling proudly at you.

“Let me make sure.” He lowers himself more onto the bed, bringing him face to face to your dripping cunny, he plants a hand against the taut muscle of your thigh, staring so intently at your twitching hole. “So fuckin messy.” It’s the closest to warning you get as he pushes his fingers back in, the yelp you let out sounding pitiful even to you. 

“We shouldn’t, d-do this.” You grip at Osamu’s arm, but it’s as if each tug you make has no effect. There isn’t a purpose to his motions, his fingers pumping in and out of you with reckless abandon, the wet, lewd sounds filling the room. 

“‘M just helping you.” Osamu breathes out, hot breath fanning over your sensitive cunt. With each push of his fingers you feel as though your whole body has been thrown under an unwavering waterfall, every stroke of his fingers feeling like the ruthless waters beating down on you. 

“Yeah, you’re the idiot who went and fucked Kita Shinsuke of all people.” Atsumu chides, running a hand across your belly, lips tickling the shell of your ear. He pulls one of your hands off of Osamu, intertwining your fingers, securing your hand against your heaving chest.

“M’Not an idiot.” Your panting whines swirling with the soft wet clicking made by his digits in your cunt punctuating your shame, your words weakly slurred together. “Samu-nii n-n’more.”

“Hm? What was that?” He teases his ring finger against your entrance, viciously scissoring his index and middle, making your body stiffen, the pain of overstimulation surging violently chased with flecks of pleasure. 

“Pretty sure she said more Samu.” Atsumu goads, slipping his other hand underneath your shirt to massage your tender breasts, the endless waves of exhaustion leaving you unable to deny yourself melting in his hold.

“More it is.” Without the slightest of stutters in his motions he stuffs in his ring finger, forcing your back to arch at the sting, the throbbing of your cunny is gut wrenching but the delicious curl of Osamu’s fingers is undeniable.

“Shlow down.” Your tongue feels thick in your mouth, head lolling back, knocking into Atsumu’s chin as you stare down with blurry vision at Osamu’s fingers disappearing into your wet heat.

“Think our little dummy means speed up, right sis? You wouldn’t want Samu to miss any leftover cum from your little slut stunt.” 

“I-I don’t?” You mumble, trying to crane your head to meet Atsumu’s gaze, the disconnect of his words is disorienting as you continue to slip into worn out haze.

“Of course not, that’s what we’ve been telling you.” He releases your hand in favor of sliding his hand up to grip at your jaw, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Hey Samu I think you can fit a fourth.”

“Yeah, me too.” Atsumu presses your head against his, leaving the two of you cheek to cheek as your eyes widen at the sight of your brother’s pinky swiping besides your entrance.

“Won’t fit.” 

“It will.” Osamu looks up at you, the familiar lazy half smile almost comforting as he begins to work his fourth finger into your thoroughly abused cunt. A jolt of biting pain mottled with bliss erupts through you. The feeling of being utterly stuffed, pushed past whatever limits you had, leaving you unable to even focus your eyes or make sense of whatever Atsumu whispers against you. 

The entirety of your body feels like an exposed nerve, as if you’ve been left out in the sun too long, simultaneously hyper aware and numb of all the little touches and strokes across your flesh. You can feel Osamu steadily pick up the pace with each thrust of his fingers, each stroke as if he’s trying to dig deeper, as if he’s trying to make your cunny memorize the shape of each finger. 

“Tsu-tsumu-niii, I thiiink…” Whatever comment you had is lost in your throat, the tiniest caress of Osamu’s thumb against your clit has your mind going blank, the entirety of your body coiling tightly, a mangled whine preempting the feeling of yourself gushing around Osamu’s fingers. Your body spasms, held tightly in Atsumu’s arms as you squeal out at Osamu unwilling to relent his movements, continuing to piston his fingers with reckless abandon.

“Enough, Ssamu enough.” Your vision goes spotty, watching with jagged breaths as he gradually withdraws. You spiral into unconsciousness one last shiver wracking through you as you watch him bring his fingers up to his lips, licking a stripe up his coated fingers. A dastardly grin the last thing you see as you black out.