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ruegarding · 6 months ago

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hi, quick question, how did you feel about Beryl Grace's character and how she was written?

hi! overall, beryl is another character that falls into the "interesting concept, not elaborated on in canon" category. in pjo, she's not particularly developed bc of her distance to the main character and narrative. in hoo, where she's directly related to a main character, she's flat, zeus is flat, hera is flat, thalia is barely relevant, and jason's entire character suffers from hoo being inconsistent and poorly written, which means anything that, arguably, should be done well doesn't hold up.

in pjo, beryl’s character isn’t very fleshed out, but she’s a side character to a side character, so it's understandable. she's also dead, but when she was introduced the majority of parents we knew abt were alive, so it wasn't too big a deal (this changes drastically w hoo, where there are more dead parents than living ones).

her existence answers a few questions: why doesn't every mortal parents know who their child's godly parent is? bc some of them cannot handle it. why did thalia run away? bc her mother coped w her mental instability by turning to alcoholism. why does thalia want to join the hunters? bc she wants stability. why can't thalia return home? bc her mother's dead. a lazy way out, maybe, but, again, beryl is a side character to a side character. the implied depth of beryl's character, that thalia cared enough to not only check on beryl's well-being after being revived but also feels enough guilt abt leaving that it's used against her soh, does a lot of the heavy lifting.

in hoo, we learn very little abt beryl's character, despite the fact that she is now connected to a main character. in fact, beryl's inclusion in hoo doesn't do much.

is beryl given depth now that she's closer to the narrative? not really. thalia had to raise jason bc beryl was always self-absorbed, so she and jason don't really have a relationship, therefore nothing to explore. and also the implied depth from pjo is removed bc actually thalia stayed bc of jason and doesn't care abt beryl. so, if zeus went back to beryl, had two children w beryl, that would imply that he loves her, right? no. bc why would we take this opportunity to imply that zeus cares abt other ppl and make him a multi-dimensional character. what does it mean that beryl unites two pantheons by having a greek child and a roman child? don't know. rick never explores it. why was jason sold to one direction? bc hera sucks and beryl's self-absorbed. how was jason able to recognize thalia's face despite last seeing her when he was two (or three??)? did hera tell jason abt thalia as he was growing up? was it all part of hera's big plan? don't know. probably. is jason and thalia's relationship an important focus of the series? no. do we explore the ramifications of beryl being a celebrity w children? no. where does jason's idea of what a mother should be ("caring, loving, selflessly protective") come from? not established. probably thalia...? was it necessary that jason's mother was beryl and not literally any other absent parent? no. was jason and hera's relationship explored in hoo, at least? if u settle for "kinda."

i can not overstate how little beryl shows up in hoo.

there's also a separate issue in how her disabilities are handled. like i say often, this is a series abt disability and therefore these things matter. she explicitly has an addiction and is coded w bpd and she and zeus are villainized for both of these things.

compare it w may. may can't give luke what he needs bc of her disability and it's approached w empathy and portrayed as a tragedy. similarly, hermes loves her and helps her how he thinks is best. and despite this, the audience can still empathize w luke's anger bc none of this changes the fact that he did not get what he needed as a child. that's how u write a complex relationship fitting for a main character of a series abt disability.

instead, beryl is written as incredibly shallow and repeatedly described as "unstable." she likes zeus bc he's powerful and he gives her attention. she caught his attention for shallow reasons and she wanted to keep it for shallow reasons. zeus is written like the villain for leaving, bc obviously he's also shallow and only there bc she gives him attention. this entire situation would be a tragedy if it were written w a modicum of care. it was a no-win scenario. he could have stayed forever, he could have made her immortal, and she would still be unstable, be unsatisfied. she put her entire well-being in his hands, and there is no way he can make her happy forever. it's sad! the love could've been there and it wouldn't've fixed anything!

boo sort of tries to add depth to her character and relationship w jason, but, again, it doesn't hold up bc jason doesn't have a relationship w her. for the two (or three??) years he lived w her, she doesn't even raise him. thalia does. jason doesn't see multiple sides of beryl. almost everything he (and the audience) knows abt beryl, he learned from thalia's crash course on why their mother sucked. the only exception is this promise beryl made, that she'd come back for him, except jason's already come to terms w the fact it's a broken promise, that beryl was never coming back for him, before the story begins. rick never establishes any redeeming quality of beryl's, or beryl's influence on jason, so jason's rejection of her doesn't pack any emotional punch bc...what exactly is there to reject? to let go of? why would the audience be attached to her? why would jason be afraid of becoming like her when there's nothing in the narrative to suggest they're similar?

it's not tragic. it's not triumphant. it's lackluster.

#*even the “never be afraid of a thunderstorm” scene happens after this scene where jason rejects beryl #it's impressively bad writing #which is partially a side of trying to fit nine main characters in a middle grade novel but still. like. c'mon.#anyway i went into this ask thinking i didn't have a lot to say and apparently that was completely wrong #beryl grace #beryl #rr crit #hoo crit #disability #answered

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sad-scarred-sassy · 5 months ago

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tamlin “trapped” feyre after all negotiations broke down with the certainty of knowing feyre would endanger herself and others temporarily

from the wu this fandom talks about it you’d think he’s mother gothel but like. it was only until he came back. it wasn’t like he had her isolated, restricting access to who got to see her. he offered to invite her sisters - she was the one who said no! i really don’t see how it’s comparable to feyre + the ic making nesta stay on a remote island for what it’s worth with two near strangers who she has little to no positive associations with if they can’t be considered the cause of all her trauma in the first place (in that they are fae etc)

whereas nesta’s sentence (bc let’s face it she was sent to azkaban as punishment with a fun caveat like “you’re free if you can cross the sea! and manage to maintain a sense of identity while around guards who remind you how terrible you are of course!”) is indefinite and it’s pretty obvious from everything that comes after that it’s just something she’s expected to make the best of as opposed to something that can get better with time.

and cassian being her jailer whose amicability she has to earn by performing rigorous physical activity she had no interest in even if she grew to love it.. i wonder if she’s had that experience before

sorry, i’m not disagreeing with you, i saw your post + i just die a little inside every time someone’s like “ew tampon” “wow i wish i had a cassian” like no. they’re not the same, you (not you, ily) just have the attention span of a gold fish on catnip

You know I restrained myself from posting more on this because I’m such a hater sometimes lol, gotta focus on more positive things sometimes but... I’ll get this out of my chest.

I wanna preface by saying I do not care if people like Cassian/Nessian, truly. I even like fanon Cassian and fanon Nessian. I also have seen very little people that like Cassian bashing Tamlin (probably bc of my filters and just the type of blogs I follow bc I do love them all) BUT☝🏼 what I do see is a lot of “Disclaimer: we know Tamlin is an abuser” on Tamlin neutral posts (when no other character gets that treatment) or using Tamlin as a cautionary tale of how he treated Feyre and then praise the other “mates” for being “the right ones” and treating them correctly or something, which does annoy me a bit, but alas.

In my opinion yes, you are right, what Cassian and the Inner Circle did to Nesta is a million times worse than what Tamlin did to Feyre, but nobody, nobody considers Cassian’s actions in Silver Flames as bad as they actually are. Nobody considers him an abuser like Abusive Tamlin™️. When talking about what Nesta has endured in SF people put all the blame on Rhys and Feyre (which yes of course) but they forget Cassian was also there, willingly.

I’ve seen people use the argument that both Nesta and Cassian treated each other poorly in their relationship, but I have to ask… what did Nesta do to him that’s worse than what he did… intentionally. She was mean to him and called him bastard like four times? And only when he trespassed her boundaries. Somehow this is comparable to him being her jailer, taking her to train in the middle of Illyria, being a dick when he knew she was struggling, telling her everyone hates her and he cannot understand why her sisters love her, controlling her food intake as if she’s a gym bro or something when she clearly had an eating disorder, not telling her that Feyre was not mad at her and letting her BREAK while making her carry a huge backpack and forcing her on a hike not talking to her for days, to the point she fainted and fell on her face near a cliff?? (this because she made Rhys mad). Anyway the list goes on.

And you know what I don’t care if people like this guy after all this, but it is just funny how somehow Neris shippers are the “morally dubious” ones lol (and don’t get me started on Tamlin stans aka the devil worshippers), because Nesta said she “deserved Eris” (as a punishment), babygirl your WHOLE relationship with Cassian has been a punishment, for what sins you ask? Being mean (as she should) and spending the High Lord’s coin.

And what makes it worse is that the narrative will always favor the Inner circle, Cassian will never pay for what he’s done the way Tamlin has (and still is) he will never even apologize because he was “holding out his hand” or whatever bs that was. (Honestly if I get proven wrong and he does pay and apologize then I may give him a chance, but I highly doubt it)

I won’t even pretend that I think Neris will be canon as much as I wish it was, even if I know that if SJM wrote it, it still would have had its problems but at least Nesta wouldn’t have ended up with the people who treated her like a criminal just because she wouldn’t kiss their ass. And on top of all, with a mate that doesn’t even have the balls to stand up for her. Holy shit.

Okay I got it all out of my chest I think, I’ll try not to hate so much but this shit bro makes me seethe. I’ll go touch some grass.

#cassian they can never make me like you #anti cassian #anti inner circle #anti nessian #from a former nessian girl #pro nesta archeron #pro tamlin

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probablydinosaurs · 5 months ago

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five joking about his life or throwing it in their faces makes the siblings uneasy. they cant FATHOM it and it hurts. tbh i feel once they aren't all in such danger and ignoring his warnings and ring leader like behavior , they would slowly start spoiling him a bit. he wouldn't notice at all at first but over time, he gets a deep sense that everyone pities him but he cant place it. he'd start denying any hand outs or good will bc he doesn't want to be seen as a headcase that needs coddling. and i think different siblings are in different camps if u put "baby" and "old man" on a sliding scale. none of these are like extreme stances, more just the vibes they feel from five.

Luther: old man 80% bc hes the only one that see's five's "older" self and can 100% say. same guy no changes. mentally unsound…. but like five stated in that whole fiasco, Luther has daddy issues and cant like. see that old man in such a young man. Luther has 1 half a brain cell. his need to nod and agree to every old man he listens to illnesses wont allow it. so he weirdly flip flops. he also develops the habit of trying to pick five up to calm him down, witch ends very poorly each time.

Diego: protective brother energy. cant fathom his brother got THAT much trauma in him. and is older then him. 13 years of being all the same age. 13 years of sharing the same birthday. and now well everyone ages up together, five is in his own corner being like 67 well the rest are like mm idk math 40 something. Diego just cant…think that far. denial. every time he thinks he's used to this old man or starts seeing him as the same age as everyone, five info dumps about the inner workings of a specific gun or the how good the wine in the celler will be 37 years exactly from now and to wait…Diego just mentally reboots.

Allison: baby camp. didn't take him very seriously back in the day either bc his ego is the size of a watermelon. and oh look the lil guy thinks bc he has more life behind him then us, he thinks he's the smartest one here. yeah right. she makes him his coffee when he wakes up or folds his Landry bc she needs to do hers and he forgot to take his out. five just thinks shes being passive aggressive but its more "if i don't then he might hurt himself or mumbling to himself about how forgetful he has become and i do NOT want to here that right how. il just do it. " tough love babying. five sometimes lets her brush his hair when he's in a bad state of mind.

klaus: depends on the day. he is the one who tease him about his height the most. i think Klaus tries to pinch his cheeks at least once a day and nearly got a blade through his hand at attempt # 23. but he also is second one that weirdly respects him the most. complementing how happy he looks DUE to his retirement and not just in general. likes buying him the stuffiest old man clothes ever from off the road and down an alley thrift shops, thinking everyone would find them silly but five like. genuinely adores them and borderlines on feeling the want to hug him but neh. too stubborn. almost though. witch is rare. five will never admit that he thinks Klaus has a good fashion sense.

ben: the brother that ruffles his hair the most. the two that severed the family. they have a unspoken energy about them. you don't mention my death, i wont bring up your past deal. Ben doesn't really care anyway. on the "i got my brother back, that's all that matters." camp with viktor. fuels five's need to bicker on topics. their hard ass but still playful energy balances each other out. is the one that tells klaus that the clothes he picks out for five is too much and he will hate them but gets surprised every time five likes them. riiight right. he wouldn't have the tastes as the 13 year old i remember him as. he downs scotch like a mad lad. gotta remember that.

viktor: leader of the "he could have come back to us as an acorn like dad warned and id still keep him in my pocket." camp. just happy to have his favorite sibling back. though they admit five also being the most open with him makes him uneasy. he wants to listen about the past 45 years but it can be very existential for viktor. five understands and lets him breath if its too much. (stealing this from this post) i feel like five owns and somehow still has on him a very worn and well loved copy of viktor's book. with notes and highlights scribbled in them. the cover fell off and five sewn it back on then poorly laminated it with the commission's laminating machine . viktor would cry if he saw it. full blown meltdown together.

#tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves

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cyren-myadd · 2 months ago

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Feel free to completely ignore this ask if you want, but you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider, so I REAllY wanted to hear your opinion on this. Anyway, in your opinion, how would Spider have turned out had be been raised "human"? As in, by the McCoskers or some other human scientist as primary caretaker? Like let's just say the McCoskers or some other scientist aren't total failures in terms of taking care of Spider. And instead of letting him just run around and go neglected they actually take him in and raise him like a normal human kid would be raised (or as close as they could get to "normal" on Pandora)? I imagine he'd probably be a loss less connected to the Na'vi and Ewya, since his caretakers obviously wouldn't be too happy with a human kid running around on a planet where pretty much everything could potentially kill him. Would he even be called "Spider" or use his human name? And how would he react to the RDA and Quaritch coming back? On one hand the scientists aren't the biggest fans of them, so he could still be apprehensive to them. On the other hand many of them still defected when they had the chance (if we go by the comics), so you'd think it reasonable that a Spider who was raised by them would hold some sympathy for the RDA? Idk, human!Spider is just a weird thought that won't leave me.

you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider,

Awww you're making me blush! I'm glad people are interested in what I have to say!

That's a really interesting question! Let me give you my thoughts on what Spider would be like if he were raised by loving parents (warning, this basically devolves into an outline for a fanfic by the end lol):

first off, he's losing the dreads. I'm not gonna say anything about whether or not white people should have dreadlocks, bc I'm not qualified to touch that subject with a 10 foot pole, but regardless of the race thing, it is painfully obvious that Spider's hair is neglected. Just look at it compared to Jake's dreadlocks. Spider's are all different lengths/thicknesses, they're grown out at the roots, and there's little wisps of loose hair sticking out everywhere. They're really poorly maintained, and no decent parent is gonna let their kid walk around looking like they've never seen a hairbrush. Even though Spider isn't as close with the Na'vi in the AU, he will still be heavily inspired by them, so his hair will be something Like Kiri's except curly and blond of course: shoulder length, decorated with little braids and beads, and messy but still healthy and cared for.

He also wouldn't paint himself blue anymore. If he ever got that idea into his head, his foster parents would immediately shut it down and tell him he's perfect just the way he is, it doesn't matter that he's human. Also, he wouldn't wear a loincloth, but he would probably still show a lot of skin, like cut off shorts and tank top or going shirtless a lot. Kind of like how Norm's avatar dresses. He also still has Omaticaya jewelry gifted to him by his friends.

And speaking of his friends, Spider is still good friends with the Sully kids, he's just not as close, and he doesn't have the weird "stray pet" vibe anymore. Spider hangs out with Kiri and Lo'ak, but only in the afternoons after spending most of the day doing chores and upkeep tasks around Hell's Gate and socializing with the other humans. Neytiri is also much more civil to him in this AU since she doesn't feel like Spider is intruding into her family as much.

I also think Spider's personality would be pretty much the same. He's still the same outgoing, mischievous kid, but some of his interests are different. He still speaks fluent Na'vi and knows how to use a bow and survive in the woods, but he's now more tech savvy from helping his parents keep Hell's Gate running and he also has an interest in gunships. His mother was a pilot, so I imagine human!Spider to want to follow in her footsteps. The humans have a few working gunships as seen in THG and ATWOW, and Spider's greatest dream is to fly one. When he's old enough his foster parents agree to let Ming, a resistance pilot, teach him how to fly and Spider is immediately in love with it. This is way better than playing passenger princess on Kiri's banshee! He even sneaks Kiri and Lo'ak out for joyrides, but none of their parents are thrilled when they get caught ha ha.

As for his name, he still goes by Spider. He got the nickname because he liked climbing when he was little, and that won't change because he has parents now. Plus, the scientists and other humans have reasons to avoid Quaritch's name too, so Spider it is.

Now onto the interesting part: what happens when the RDA comes back?

First off this is going to depend on if Spider's parents choose to defect back to the RDA like the McCoskers or if they choose to stay and fight like Norm and Max.

If Spider's family chose to stay, then the story stay more or less stays the same: Spider goes to goof off with his friends in the forest, gets kidnapped and interrogated, Q steps in and uses him as a translator/guide since he is still knowledgeable about the Na'vi way, and Spider is ultimately rescued by Lo'ak and Neteyam. The only difference is that Spider's parents will be extremely upset and maybe make a few unsuccessful attempts to get him back. I even still think Spider would choose to save Quaritch. He wouldn't have bonded with Q as much since he has a healthy parental relationship to compare him to, but he still might feel obligated to save him since Q saved his ass twice. And then Spider would go back to his foster parents at high camp instead of presumably sticking with the Sullies in Awa'atlu.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, what happens if Spider's foster family chose to defect?

This idea gets a little bit more interesting methinks

Cause even if Spider's parents are much nicer than the McCoskers, I could still see why they might choose to defect, especially if they had or adopted other children. TBH before McCosker betrayed Jake, I understood where he was coming from about defecting to the RDA, it's really hard for humans to survive out there, nevermind when there's a war going on and you have younger kids to worry about. So I could totally see Spider's parents choosing to defect for the sake of their family, even if they cared for the Na'vi.

Spider would still be very upset. He's friends with the Na'vi and Norm and Max and all the other loyalist scientists. He doesn't want to be forced to join the organization that's trying to kill them all! But he can't bear to leave his parents, so he eventually gives a teary goodbye to Kiri and Lo'ak and surrenders to the RDA with the other humans.

He gets... a surprisingly warm welcome. He's the son of the "great war hero" Miles Quaritch. Have you ever watched The Boys? You know how when Homelander brings his son, Ryan, to Vought their reaction is to use him for propaganda? Selfridge and co try to do that with Spider. They try to get him to play the part of a brave little boy who survived years of captivity with na'vi terrorists before escaping back to civilization, and the only reason he survived is because the memory of his dear old dad kept him going 🥺🥺🥺. Spider is having none of it of course and speaks very openly about his care for the Na'vi. Spider's foster parents pull him aside and warn him not to speak like that and Spider grudgingly agrees to keep his opinions to himself. All the former defectors are surveilled closely for any sign of being spies.

Spider is absolutely miserable living in bridgehead away from the forest and not knowing if his friends are okay, but bridgehead presents him with a new opportunity: his dream of becoming a pilot is actually possible now. Spider is basically a nepotism baby and takes advantage of it to get into the RDA's pilot program. Yeah, he's young, but they're lightyears away from earth and its pesky child labor laws so who cares.

Older teens can survive cryosleep and some RDA employees bring their children to Bridgehead to participate in training programs like what Spider's doing, so for the first time in his life Spider makes human friends his own age. He learns about the dire state of earth from them, and starts to feel more sympathetic to the humans stuck there. He wonders if there's a way to build sustainable human colonies in the uninhabited areas of Pandora and make peace between humans and na'vi. Spider dreams of climbing the ranks of the RDA and changing the direction of the company towards a future that benefits everyone...

Then a big fat blue wrench gets thrown in his plans: the clone of Miles Quaritch wakes up.

Nobody told Spider a clone with his dads memories is walking around and Quaritch never thinks to ask about what happened to his son, so the two go a week or two without knowing about the other, until they happen to run into each other on the flight line when the recoms go out on their first test run. Spider instantly picks Quaritch out of the group of recoms and realizes who he is. He's horrified, remembering all the stories Jake told him. Quaritch notices a baby-faced pilot staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but thinks nothing of it, assuming the guy is new to Pandora and shocked to see recombinants. Spider wants nothing to do with this Quaritch, so he tries to slink away without Quaritch noticing. Unfortunately, one of Spider's coworkers calls out to him "hey Socorro!" for something. Quaritch hears the name, recognizes it, and does a double take. He takes a closer look at Spider and notices a resemblance to Paz Socorro. Spider is glaring daggers at him, but Quaritch keeps studying and finally notices the name on Spider's uniform, confirming Quaritch's suspicion.

Quaritch awkwardly tries to approach Spider, but Spider is having none of it and runs off.

There's no time to chase spider down, so Quaritch goes on his mission. They encounter the Sully kids, but the kids successfully escape and no one is left behind. Quaritch returns to bridgehead frustrated but excited at the prospect of Jake having four huge weak spots to target. Unbeknownst to them, this prompts Jake and his family to flee to Awa'atlu.

After the mission, Quaritch later tracks down Spider's foster parents to their apartment (or whatever people in Bridgehead live in?) and speaks with the family. While talking to them, Quaritch realizes Spider's parents really care about him, and he decides it's for the best if he stays out of Spider's life. He never wanted to be a dad, and Spider made it clear he's uninterested in him, so Quaritch thanks the foster parents for raising Spider and they go their separate ways.

Spider is perfectly content to pretend the recom doesn't exist until he gets wind of Quaritch's mission: to hunt down and kill Jake Sully.

Spider can't bear the thought of Jake and his family being hunted down by Quaritch, and he realizes he's in a position to do something about it. So Spider cooks up a plan...

Meanwhile, Quaritch is going through the motions, doing his best to pretend he doesn't care he and Spider have gone their separate ways before truly getting to know each other. One day, after hours stuck in briefings with Ardmore and the other higher ups, he comes back to the recom barracks to find Spider just casually hanging out with his soldiers like he belongs there.

Quaritch reacts with what outwardly looks like anger (but he's just lashing out because he's surprised and is still hurting deep down over Spider rejecting him) and asks what the hell the kid is doing here. The recoms explain Spider noticed their braids are very poorly maintained while they were doing PT and offered to teach them how to properly care for their Kurus and keep the hair clean and braided. It turns out, the RDA didn't teach the recoms a lot of stuff about being Na'vi, so Spider ended up giving an impromptu lesson on Na'vi biology and how to care for their new bodies. Spider eagerly offers to hang out and teach the recoms more stuff about being Na'vi but Quaritch gets mad and shoos him away, despite the recoms protesting. They thought Spider was funny, and he's one of the only humans who acts normal around them in their blue bodies. But they can't argue with the boss.

To Quaritch's chagrin, Spider keeps randomly showing up with the recoms. One day he's teaching them Na'vi language, another day he's teaching them about edible plants, etc, etc. The recoms love him, and they indulge Spider's lessons even though Quaritch keeps telling him to stay away. Spider's parents also encourage Spider to stay away from the recoms, because they knew their original human selves and know they're capable of horrible violence even though they seem friendly and funny at first. It doesn't work.

Quaritch eventually snaps and asks Spider what he's trying to do here. Spider panics because he can't let them know this is part of his plan to protect Jake and co, so he blurts out the first thing he can think of. He tells Quaritch he changed his mind about wanting to get to know him, but he didn't know how to say that so he's been using his lessons as an excuse to be around Quaritch more. Quaritch is secretly touched but doesn't show it. He tells Spider he still thinks its better if Spider just sticks with his foster family. But Spider baits Quaritch with the promise of showing them how to tame ikran. The recoms overhear the last part of the conversation and beg Quaritch to let Spider show them how to get banshees. Quaritch reluctantly agrees.

A few days later, they set out for their first time in the jungle, and Spider proves himself invaluable. He's much more knowledgeable than the recoms, and more dependable than searching up info on their data pads. Quaritch realizes keeping Spider around might be a good idea, so after they all tame their banshees, Q offers to make Spider their official translator and guide. Spider enthusiastically agrees.

Over the next couple of months, Spider teaches the recoms how to go "full Na'vi," and really bonds with Quaritch. He even spends the night in the recom barracks a couple of times. Quaritch almost starts to feel like a second dad. Spider's parents try to talk him out of it multiple times, suspecting what he's doing, but Spider is adamant. Against his better judgement, he actually starts to like Quaritch and the recoms, and the "act" he puts on becomes more and more real as time goes on. Spider starts to think he might be able to talk Quaritch out of hunting Jake and work towards a peaceful solution.

Baby boy gets his bubble burst real fast tho :')

Quaritch gets the tip about a rogue gunship flying towards the reef tribes and asks Spider to fly with him as a translator (Spider's parents are not thrilled about this since it means Spider will be away from them for an unknown amount of time, but they have no control over Quaritch). Spider agrees, thinking they're just going to ask the eyktan some questions, nothing more. And it starts that way... but the recoms quickly become more and more aggressive when they realize they're not getting any real answers. Before Spider knows it, they're burning maruis and holding the tsahik at gunpoint. Spider only just barely talks Quaritch out of killing anyone.

After that, Spider and Quaritch have a very ugly fight that ends with Spider furiously yelling through tears and Quaritch coldly telling Spider getting to know each other was a mistake. Quaritch tells him his job as a translator is over and tomorrow he'll fly him back to Bridgehead to stay with his parents and they will never work with each other again (Quaritch immediately regrets this, he wants spider to stay with him, but he refuses to take back his words).

Spider is so distraught by everything that he videocalls his parents that night in his room aboard the Sea Dragon. His parents comfort Spider and tell him this is for the best. Now Spider can focus on becoming a pilot and having a bright future with the RDA

But the bubble is burst and Spider can't turn back. He knows now that peace between Na'vi and humans is impossible as long as the RDA is around. He also learns about the tulkun-hunting for amrita around this time, further cementing his belief. He doesn't want a future with the RDA. He wants to join the resistance.

Spider can't speak openly because they suspect the RDA spies on their video calls, but after some time to think on it he calls his parents again and tells them he's changed his mind and wants to stay with Quaritch. His parents know damn well Spider is not onboard with the recom's mission and they suspect he has a plan to interfere with the recoms mission. They immediately try to shut Spider down and tell him to just come back home. They remind him how things have been better, how they're slowly being allowed privileges and better pay, and how Spider can fulfill his dream of being a pilot like Paz.

But Spider knows in his heart he has to do the right thing, even if it risks himself and his parents. He ends up having a fight with them. His dad threatens to tip off ardmore but spider knows he won't actually do it since it would put Spider's life in danger. His mom starts crying and begs him not to do something stupid. It breaks his heart, but spider can't ignore the injustice of the rda. He can't fall in line and pretend he doesn't know about the war crimes and violence. Spider furiously calls them both cowards and hangs up on them. He feels like absolute shit, he's lost his connection with 3 of his parental figures in one day, but he won't change his mind.

The next day he approaches wainfleet, the recom who's the most indulgent with him, and apologizes for freaking out yesterday. He says he talked about what happened with his parents, and now he understands that the recoms have no choice but to be harsh on the natives. Jake is a dangerous terrorist threatening the safety of humanity, and anything is justifiable for the safety of humanity.

Wainfleet and the other recoms are ready to welcome Spider back with open arms. They miss their little mascot and the RDA translators suck compared to him. But Quaritch isn't as easily fooled by Spider's act. Quaritch grills Spider more about his sudden change of heart, and Spider scrambles for something to convince him. He ends up saying that he doesn't want to go back to bridgehead and never see him again. Even though he doesn't agree with his methods, he's still his dad and he wants to be near him. (Spider tells himself he's lying but that's not true) (Quaritch tells himself he doesn't care but it's also not true). Quaritch begrudgingly lets Spider have a second chance, claiming its only because the RDA translators suck.

It kills Spider inside, but he plays along as translator, doing as Quaritch asks. He can't stand to see the villagers suffer, but by cooperating, Quaritch is more likely to listen to him, so he's able to talk Q out of killing/maiming anyone at the bare minimum. Quaritch is secretly thrilled to have Spider back and cooperating, but it's not the same. Spider cooperates, but the real connection they had before is gone. Spider is a physically affectionate kid and a jokester, but that's gone now. He no longer reaches out to grab onto Quaritch when he's close by or tease him like he used to. Quaritch misses it, but he thinks it will come back with time.

By cooperating, Spider builds up trust with Q and the Sea Dragon crew and he starts performing espionage. Since he grew up in Hell's Gate working with the other humans, he is much more knowledgeable about machines and how to damage them without it being obvious he did it. He starts with small things, like sabotaging some of the guns on a whaling submarine, but constantly keeps his eyes open for new ways to undermine the RDA. His master plan is to completely cripple the engine of the Sea Dragon, at which point he'll steal a small boat and slip away in the night. If he pulls it off correctly, no one will even realize he's gone until the next morning, at which point he'll be long gone. He hopes he'll be able to find a Na'vi village and convince them he's on their side so they'll take him to Jake. Spider "borrows" a distracted crew members laptop by learning their password and secretly downloads important RDA intel onto a USB (or whatever they use in the future to store data) and plans to give it to Jake after he makes his daring escape.

Spider doesn't call his parents throughout this time, still angry that they're content to live under the RDA's rule. Then it sinks in on him that he may never see them again whether his plan succeeds (cause he won't have a way to contact them from the resistance) or fails (cause he'll probably be executed on the spot). After a week or so, Spider is almost ready to cripple the engine, steal the data, and escape. The night before he enacts the final stage of his plan, he tries to call his parents one last time but chickens out at the last second. Instead, he records a video telling them he loves them and he's sorry and sends it. Immediately, his parents try to call him, but Spider shuts his tablet off. He exits his cabin and takes a deep breath. It's time to enact his plan.

Immediately, a lanky blue wrench gets thrown in the plan

As Spider makes his way across the upper deck, waiting for an opportunity to sneak down into the engine room, he sees Quaritch and Cupcake flying back with a net dangling from her claws. Inside the net is Lo'ak and a reef na'vi. The plan he spent weeks carefully constructing has gone out the window and Spider is in a full blown panic.

As Lo'ak and the reef girl are thrown on the deck, Spider runs through all the soldiers and goes straight to his friend, asking if he's okay... only to get punched in the gut. Spider folds like a lawn chair from the Na'vi sized punch and collapses on the deck. For a moment he thinks his mask is broken because he can't breathe, but it's just the wind knocked out of him. Even in his pain, he can tell Lo'ak held back his full strength with the punch. Lo'ak screams at him, with tears streaming down his face and Quaritch grabs him before he can do anything to Spider again. Lo'ak cries and accuses Spider of betraying them. Spider realizes rumors of his cooperation as Quaritch's translator must've gone around and now the Sullies think he's on Quaritch's side. Spider tries to soothe Lo'ak, but there's nothing he can say in front of Quaritch. Quaritch drags Lo'ak and the girl downstairs and locks them up in a storage room. He later comes back and comforts a distraught Spider, not realizing Spider is upset because he doesn't know how to rescue Lo'ak, not because Spider was scared by his former friend jumping him.

Spider decides to try and cripple the engine and free Lo'ak and the reef girl on the way out. He sneaks down to the engine room, he starts his sabotage, but he gets caught by some RDA employees. They run over to stop him and Spider thinks he's done for, when all of a sudden BOOM! Something huge hits the ship! Spider gets completely knocked off his feet and he accidentally starts a fire in the engine room, which is extremely dangerous since it could cause a big explosion. There's no more time for being sneaky, now he has to haul ass and pray he can get Lo'ak and himself out in time.

When he runs back topside, he finds chaos. Reef Na'vi on flying fish are attacking left and right, and there is also a tulkun fighting??? Now Spider knows what knocked the ship but he doesn't know why this tulkun isn't a pacifist like the others. He doesn't know where Quaritch is and he doesn't have time to wonder.

Spider runs down and finds Lo'ak and the girl guarded by two soldiers. He surprises them with a fire extinguisher attack and frees them. Thankfully it doesn't take Lo'ak long to be convinced Spider is on his side since he just gave two soldiers potentially deadly brain damage.

They run for their lives. Spider tries to lead them to the boat he planned to sneak out on that night, but they run into Wainfleet and some recoms, who start chasing them and they're forced to double back. They end up jumping into the moon pool to escape.

The water is even more chaotic than the air: there's submarines, ilu, tsurak, and the rogue tulkun fighting in every direction. The reef girl calls for an ilu and the three of them cling for dear life as they're guided through the underwater battle. They barely make it away from the sea dragon before the engine blows and the giant ship starts to sink, only adding to the chaos.

A submarine spots them and comes after them. It shoots a balloon thing into the ilu and the kids get scattered. They're separated from the reef girl, but Lo'ak and Spider manage to hide in the seaweed long enough to make it to a small rocky island near the battle.

As they're frantically trying to figure out what to do next, a banshee flies over out of nowhere and they realize it's Quaritch. Quaritch heard what Spider did to the ship and realizes Spider's been playing them this whole time. He's furious. Spider has never seen Quaritch look at him like that and he's terrified. The boys try to fight back but Quaritch overpowers them both and cuffs them, handling them very roughly.

Lo'ak tries to talk bravely and warns Quaritch that the Na'vi will overwhelm the humans and kill them all, so he should go ahead and run. Sure enough, when they look at the battle, the Na'vi appear to be winning. But then, In the distance, they see a small gunship rapidly approaching. Quaritch laughs and points at it, telling Lo'ak the reinforcements are arriving and they'll easily overwhelm the Na'vi. Quaritch flags down the gunship and gets ready to the load the boys onto it.

As the gunship lands, Spider thinks his fate is sealed: Lo'ak will be used as a hostage to kill jake and neytiri, and Spider himself will likely be executed. He regrets not picking up the phone when his parents called. Spider doubts Ardmore would let him see them again before he's killed, so the last time he ever saw his parents was when he was fighting them and calling them cowards. He looks at the pilot and recognizes one of his friends from when he was training to be a pilot. It strikes him as odd that his friend was trusted with such an important mission. But he doesn't have much time to think about it because Quaritch harshly grabs Spider by the collar of his shirt and curses at him for betraying him. He says some pretty nasty things to Spider, about how he's a worthless traitor and shouldn't have been born (things he doesn't mean, he's lashing out because he's genuinely hurting that Spider's attempts to bond with him were all an act to get his trust, and this man does not know how to process his emotions other than being hateful). He tells Spider "you're sure as hell no son of mine"

The door to the gunship swings open, and a voice calls out "you're right, he is no son of yours."

Quaritch looks back at the ship in time to see Spider's parents climb out, armed with guns. Spider's mother fires off a warning shot and Quaritch drops Spider and backs away. Spider's father shoots Quaritch in the shoulder and Quaritch dives off the island and disappears into the sea. It's unclear if the wound was fatal or not.

Spider's parents run to their son and tearfully embrace him. They explain that when Spider called them cowards, deep down, they knew he was right. They started subtly making a plan to escape the RDA with other closeted Na'vi sympathizers, but when Spider sent his final video message, they knew they had to act. They gathered everyone and stole a gunship and made it there as fast as they could. Spider breaks down sobbing tears of relief. He thought he would die before he would get to tell his parents he loved them again.

Jake, Neytiri, and the rest of the Sully family find them on the rock as the fighting dies down. The Sullies, Spider, and ragtag group of RDA-defectors retreat to Awa'atlu before the real reinforcements show up. They have a big celebration and the Sullies vouch for Spider and help him explain he only acted as Quaritch's translator to prevent bloodshed and to build up trust to destroy the Sea Dragon. Spider's dad apologizes to Jake for choosing to defect to the RDA, knowing how they hurt the Na'vi. Jake waves off his apology and admits he himself has made some selfish decisions in the interest of protecting his family. Jake says he's done running and is ready to fight the RDA again. The Metkayina are a little skeptical of the new humans at first, but after hearing Tsireya's POV, they decide to allow them to stay. Tonowari and Ronal also agree to join the resistance after witnessing the brutality of the tulkun hunts and having their daughter kidnapped. Spider shares his USBs of stolen intel and it proves extremely helpful in taking down the RDA.

Lo'ak, Kiri, and Spider spend all night talking, overjoyed to be reunited again. In the morning they promise to show Spider all the amazing things in Awa'atlu. They also offer to let Spider sleep in their marui, but Spider declines. His parents brought inflatable atmo-pods for the human defectors to sleep in so they can remove their masks. Spider finds the one his parents are in.

Spider hasn't slept with his parents since he was a little kid, but that night he sleeps curled up with them. A small little family, united by their determination to stand up for whats right 💙

Kudos to you if you made it to the end ha ha. I started writing and I just couldn't stop!

#cyren myadd writes #avatar #avatar fanfiction #spider soccoro sully #miles quaritch #avatar spider #avatar miles quaritch

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uncaught-coolfish · 4 months ago

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Fuck it I guess I'll go first.

Why oh fucking WHY was the Ever After not the fucking AFTERLIFE!!!! Seriously, this would have been so perfect as a fucking arc not only for Ruby and her team encountering the people who had died along the way while helping them grow. Since you know when good ol' MKEK, aka. "We can't write for shit." did say Volume nine was about growth until they double baked for one of the most poorly written depictions of mental health ever. This was so bad that it made Thirteen Reasons Why look good! Yeah I went there!!!

The amount of missed opportunities that was there we could have seen Penny explaining to Ruby why she had to die in order for Winter to get the Maiden Powers proclaiming that it was more suited for her rather than herself.

Weiss reuniting with her grandfather and even standing up to her father again along with her antecedents and descendants that she is her own person now and reinforces it by showing Jacques why he was never worthy of holding up the Schnee title.

A final showdown between Blake and Adam with the inclusion of Spirit Sun (since in Before the Dawn, he said he saw visions of a tree. Pertaining to Yggdrasil which I am calling it that since in Volume nine it was only called the Tree and that was it.) with blake promising that she will try to make humans and faunus try to understand and come together in her own way if she must. While Sienna Khan and the other faunus murdered by humans or anti-faunus rights activists all place the future of the Faunus on both hers and Suns shoulders.

Yang learning from people from Taiyangs bloodline how to control her anger so much so that she even admits that she isnt perfect to Blake and tells her to find someone that will love her more than she. Alluding to Sun as he was there more for her than Yang was, which the two agree in a platonic manner.

Oh and the fact we could get to see a mix of Ancient Remnant peeps, Afterans and even mythological creatures (respectfully since they NEARLY shat the bucket there) Oh and the BIGGEST ONE OF THEM ALL .

RUBY MEETING SUMMER ROSE

Sweet Jesus even up the stakes a little by having their souls fall apart as they travel across the Ever-After in a Race Against Time Arc but at the same time we see their semblances Evolve and Grow against the main villain the Red Queen (Not the Red Prince since I like to think he is cared for by the Curious Cat) and the Curious Cat not being some stupid twist villain again but this time someone who was created by the God of Darkness as one of the only "good" creations he had seen. and at the end the Tree of Yggdrasil gives Ruby and Co.... the biggest question to be answered right in front of them.

A WAY TO BEAT SALEM

Like holy SWEET MOSES it is so easy to do a Journey through the Afterlife Arc while giving the characters more time to flesh out and help them grow.

Hot Take Assessment:

This is a really cool idea actually. Tbh I think what I would’ve done for the Ever After is keep the gang separated for longer than like. Half of the first episode.

Keep yang alone since she was the first to go down. Maybe have that connect to her backstory of being abandoned by Raven. Maybe have Blake & Ruby sticking with each other. Develop more of the bond that the two started to have in V8 bc that was really cute and I’m bummed it kind of went nowhere.

Keep Weiss alone and actually FOCUS ON HER AND DONT MAKE HER INTO COMIC RELIEF and how she deals with the fact that her entire home is just. gone. Also the fact that she was the last one standing after her friends presumably died around her.

The one thing I’d change from V8 here is that none of ORNJ falls. Not in a “Jaune gets too much screen time” way, but in a… it makes the cast less messy for this season, way.

And have Neo in the shadows chasing them around. Maybe even throw in some familiar faces, deceased or otherwise. Some purgatory like thing idk.

I might just make that a fic😧

TL;DR Ever After should’ve been a lot less Alice in Wonderland (because they somehow made wonderland boring :() and a lot more Avatar’s Swamp episode.

#rwby #rwde #uncaught-coolfish #rwby hot takes

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onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 2 years ago

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every so often i see people complaining that the rules that govern the endless are unfair and shouldn't exist, and it's always just kinda funny, bc im here like oh you do NOT want to get rid of the rules, trust me

is it unfair that desire gets away with so much bc they're the only one willing to break the rules? yeah, probably. but the solution to that is more rules, not less, because we're dealing with 7 immortal siblings who've been around since the dawn of time and have the maturity levels of teenagers

and in that context all of the rules make so much sense

like there's probably more rules than we know about, but let's focus on the main three - no loving mortals, no interfering in each others' affairs, no spilling family blood

1) endless can't love mortals. the one rule we know was instated later than the rest, almost entirely because of dream. for two reasons. the more obvious is that dream and desire are never gonna stop fighting, and when you put a mortal in the way of that, they are almost definitely gonna get murdered or worse. but also, there's lifespans to consider. not every dead mortal can end up in the dreaming, and not all of them want to. dream dating someone mortal means at some point, he is going to outlive them, that's not in question. and dream... doesn't take loss well. he stood outside in the rain without moving for three weeks when thessaly left, and they'd only been dating a few months. and then we have lucien's word on what happened after nada...

if the dreaming entirely comes to a halt for weeks or years or centuries after a girlfriend leaves him, dream grieving an actual death of a partner is actively dangerous. you can't stop dream from dating, and from those relationships going poorly, but at least it has a much higher chance of being a mutual breakup if death has been taken out of the equation

(and, you know, might as well make it a universal rule, both just in case, and so dream isn't constantly aware that this one was made because of him)

2) no interfering in the affairs of other endless. think, for a second, about the sibling rivalries in this family. and that's just the ones that exist now, when several of them have had a chance to grow up - it's said they were all a lot more immature and prideful, even death, back in the day (she grew into the older sister position).

i saw someone say once that everything in the dcu makes sense when you consider that the universe is being run by seven warring siblings, and honestly i'm inclined to agree! they're all a mess

but at least they're messes that mostly leave each other alone. which means their domains are at least protected by the fact that they all individually care about what they were created to do - there's only one person making decisions and that person generally wants the best for those that enter their domain

death in the show talks about how when she was young, she had a hard time seeing her purpose, because everyone seemed to hate her and she didn't know what to do about it. what she says in the comics is that she did stop. once it really started to get to her, she refused to collect souls. no one and nothing died. and it was only through realising how much more that was hurting the world that she started to learn how to be okay with it

when any of them stop or get distracted or kept away from their jobs, it's the mortals who suffer. and even if they all meant well, which they often don't, have you ever tried running important projects with seven people leading? at best, it slows you down, at worst it can ruin the project entirely. given how much they try to tell each other how to live their lives already, if they were allowed to get up in each others' business, you might as well be jamming up the cogs of the universe

3) can't spill family blood. so, it's easy to look at that and see orpheus, and rose walker, and all the traps that dream almost or did fall into. but as far as i'm aware, other than orpheus and unity's descendants, we don't know of any other kids of the endless, and those were all pretty recent, on a universal scale. honestly, given how dream is the only hopeless romantic of the family, i'd be willing to bet orpheus was the first. so it's extremely unlikely when this rule was put into place that children were on anyone's mind. time and night are on such a cosmic scale of power i don't think even all of the endless combined could kill one of them. which means this rule is about each other

and given everything we just said about interfering with each other, can you imagine if they were allowed to kill each other? because endless reincarnate, death amongst their family would lose all meaning. you could kill one of your siblings for annoying you and get back a potentially less annoying version of them almost immediately. but every time you did that, you'd be disrupting the functions of the universe. and with siblings like dream and desire, who don't see the other's domain as important at all, they wouldn't care. if they'd been doing it since the start, it's possible none of them would see that as a bad thing

you'd have the universe falling apart before it could even really begin. and they might not even notice

#sandman comic spoilers #dream of the endless #death of the endless #desire of the endless #delirium of the endless #destiny of the endless #despair of the endless #destruction of the endless #mine #meta

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fatuismooches · 1 year ago

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Helloo!! Happy Christmas, Smooches🎄🎇 (at least I hope it's Christmas for you rn, bc timezones are hard and in my country we celebrate it on 7th Jan🙇‍♀️)

Anyway--imagine being childhood friends with Arlecchino. You're around the same age as her, in House of the Hearth. Always together, at first it's simply a mitually benefical cooperation to complete the previous Knave's order swiftly and without mistakes. Even so, as you work together more and more, she can't deny how her heart clenches when you get injured or when the Knave punishes you for being too slow, making mistakes or manipulates you. Yourself, you are the same, always tending to Arlie's injures or supporting her after unpleasant meeting with the Knave

I feel like old Knave will stop sending you together on missions, trying to make sure you're as far away from each other as possible, saying that relationships such as friendship or even romance aren't necessary and mess up with your work for the Fatui. Only night meetings, short and away from everyone's gaze were comforting moments for the both of you

Eventually, Arlie succeeded the old the Knave, becoming the director of House of the Hearth now. You're her second-in-command, speaking officially and 'someone who's close to lord Arlecchino' for children there, they call you her lover only when they're sure Arlecchino can't hear it (she knows about this anyway, of course)

For orphans, you hold title of "Mother" (or "Mat' - Мать - Mother"), same as Arlie is "Otets" - Отец - Father). You know they're raise to be spies and soldiers, you're still soft on them from time to time, always attentive to them and their needs. Lyney and Lynette made a new trick? Of course you'll watch, maybe even assist if they need it. Freminet's social battery went down? You know just the perfect way he can go outside to dive, where no one will notice him and if someone needs Fremi, you'll make up an excuse.

-🥀, celebrating my Arlie plushie arriving and triple crowning Freminet

MERRY (EARLY) CHRISTMAS TO YOU 🥀 ANON!! I hope you have a wonderful time ❤️ AND YES I LOVE CHILDFRIEND FRIEND ARLECCHINO... (i also love the previous Knave slander.) CONGRATS ON YOUR ARLIE PLUSHIE... I BET SHE'S SO CUTE!! (And triple crowning Fremi??! AHH THAT'S AMAZING... i can't wait to do that with Arlie...)

When you first met Arlecchino, you didn't think she particularly cared for or liked you very much... well, to be fair, that blank look of hers was extended to everyone, not just you so, that was that. But as time went on, as you were sent out on more and more missions with her, she... warmed up to you. When you two weren't working you often tried to make conversation (though in the beginning it was rather dry) and you two became closer.

No one in the House likes the current Knave, but her hatred for them only grows from the way you are so poorly treated. You don't deserve such pain, no, not after how kind you are to her. Smiling and saying you can deal with it, and worrying about her instead. Unfortunately, the Knave catches onto the growing relationship quickly. Of course she sees the two of you as only tools, and tools shouldn't have feelings or connections. Even your rooms in the House are moved farther away, and sneaking out is hard considering how watchful the Knave is. But you two are willing to risk it anyway.

As the two of you grow older however, Arlecchino starts to gain more power in the Fatui and even the Knave can't do much about it, as their power soon dwindles... and dwindles... and Arlie is the new Knave! And so, you no longer need to worry about sneaking around to see your friend, who turned into a crush, and is now your dear lover. Everyone who knows Arlecchino knows about you, her second in command who keeps everything smoothly with or without her. (Although the lover part isn't explicitly stated, everyone knows. The older kids always have to slap their hands over the younger ones when you're around because they have a big mouth though.)

Your kind nature to the orphans makes them see you a lot as a parental figure... even though they're the Fatui soldiers you can't help but want to raise them to at least have a few good memories in their hearts... especially since the previous Knave was completely the opposite way. Piggyback rides, airplaneing the food, yes, you'll do it all. Indulging the twins' tricks, making an effort to go to as many of their shows as possible even if you're busy. Omg and giving Fremi diving recommendations... 🥹 he definitely gets embarrassed but happy at your enthusiasm! And even though Father may not like it when he cries, he can always come to you if he needs to.

#smooches talks #🥀 anon #arlecchino love notes <3 #WHEN WILL WE GET HER REAL NAME IM TIRED

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a-bad-case-of-the-stephs · 1 month ago

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Hi hello me again- recently checked out the suicide squad issue with Arthur that you recommended to me. Very funny how the group is handled in that issue versus how they're portrayed in JLA (same writer too! Hence the reason they were likely pulled for the first issue. A funny note on the difference in tone between eras in my mind (early 90s versus early 00s)

Anyway there isn't too too much insight into Arthur beyond the fact that a) he has no qualms about hurting kids even before he learns that they're not really people. Gee I wonder why. Certainly not a pattern of behaviour he's shown before. Nosiree

And b) he says Steph is "just as messed up as him"- patently false but I imagine a comforting thought for Arthur, that Steph's vigilantism is just the product of an addled mind much the way his criminality is. And not that Steph is everything he isn't.

Also that despite his clear disregard for his wellbeing or her as a person, he still wants her to think highly of him and knows heroism is the way to do that. Whether he wants this bc he sees Steph as 'beneath him' and needing to know her place (that is to say, looking up to him) OR if deep down he knows Steph is a better person than him (as crystal says, it's "surprising that she turned out so wonderful" given the circumstances- something I'm sure Arthur is smart enough to recognise when hes not deluding himself) and wants her approval, much the same way he craves the approval of other criminals. I like the second reading a lot bc it lends credence to my own view that Arthur's abuse and even his crime is driven by insecurity about his capabilities and station in life!

And that's just everything I was able to waffle on about from about 9 panels! Neat :] reread robin 111 for the umpteenth time, reread all 3 issues of her robin stint (her initial reaction to being made robin AND the cheating thing is. Ooc and contrived respectively but AUGHHH SHE'S SO CUTESY SHE'S TRYING TO HARD SHE'S SO EXCITED TO BE ON THE TEAM AGAIN AND THEN BATMAN. HE. AUGHHH BOILING HIM LIKE A LOBSTER!!!). Robin/spoiler special is probably next, and the latter half of her batgirl...

First of all THANK YOU for getting it…. I’m always thinkng and saying things like ‘Batman should be boiled like a lobster’ and ‘Batman should be slammed into a wall at maximum velocity’ and ‘what if I exploded Batman with my mind’. Like a great guy in isolation im extremely compelled by certain aspects of his character but when im thinking abt stephanie brown (which is like all the time) hes.. he’s so.. lowkey want to kill him with a rock.

Arthur’s “just as messed up” line makes me insane. Like, as you pointed out, not true. But also for the aspects of her that are a little messed up... Whose fault is that. Who could possibly be to blame for that Arthur Brown. Who messed her up..I wonder how that came about. Strange. Guess we’ll never know.

Like Cluemaster is seemingly ascribing any potential “messed up-ness” to a genetic or maybe fate(?) based factor, oh Steph she is just as messed up as me, we’re alike she’s inevitably messed up for inevitable reasons. Instead of the much more obvious and true reason Steph might be a little fucked up: because he abused her throughout her childhood. Like Arthur is not only projecting he’s also engaging in Next level shirking of responsibility.

His whole wanting Steph to know thing is so Urghh because even if he did mean it in a good way, like even if it was his weird way of trying to show he cares about her opinion of him, Steph takes it so poorly and is understandably sent spiraling.

Abt Steph’s time as Robin that’s pretty much exactly how I feel. Like I hate how rushed the whole situation is and how despite being in Steph’s pov we don’t really get the rationalization that is there for why she’s so quick to believe the worst of Tim. Like her time as Robin isn’t written in a way that gives her the benefit of the doubt or seems all too invested in presenting an in depth understanding of her POV as valid. And then it ends and it’s shallow and then war games tries its absolute hardest to make everything Steph’s fault forever so that it’s okay that she dies.

But on the other hand…. She gets to do headstands and jump for joy and shake her fists in the air in excitement!! She’s so damn happy! She does a backflip!! She blabs to Cass about how happy she is that she’s good enough! Who could have figured that she was good enough after all! Haha what if she isn’t irreversibly bad because her of her dads actions!! lol!! Who could have guessed!!!

I’m Exploding Batman with my mind.

Sorry this took me a hot sec, just finished my own finals, thank u so so much for your thoughts as always peace and love

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weanonme · 2 months ago

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17 year old Ava Silva is used to not being wanted. The last 10 years of her life have consisted of moving from family to family and house to house and never finding a home. 6 months before her 18th birthday she gets moved to a new family in a small town after a particularly nasty incident caused Ava to be removed from her last family. Ava, who believes that no family will ever want her, has decided that she is going to do her best to keep her head down and just try to survive the last six months she has until she ages out of the system and eventually gets put on the street. Her plan to make no connections with anyone is quickly ruined when the people of this small town she’s been placed in, make her feel more at home than she’s ever felt since her mom died when she was seven.

A poorly written fanfic summary of an Avatrice found family fanfic I would write if I could actually write. If anyone would like to actually write it please go for it! The ideas I had for the story I’ll write below. You obviously don’t have to listen to them and can totally make the story your own but I figured I’d share what I thought of that made me make this post

Jillian and mother superion would be married and the foster parents of Ava. They would already have Michael. I toyed around with the idea of them also having adopted Lilith as a way to make a really nice sisterly bond between her and Ava that would start rocky and then become iron tight. And also as a reason why she would see Beatrice a lot.

Meets the gang at the highschool and gets seated with Beatrice in one of their classes

Really cute like small town vibes. Like everyone knows everyone but it’s only mildly annoying bc most everyone really cares about each other

Bea’s parents still suck tho like a lot so she stays at Lilith’s a lot. They don’t kick her out for being gay though they just are occasionally mean to her and ignore her existence for the most part and have some insane expectations for her

Mary and Shannon dating ofc

Lilith and Camila have some serious crushes on each other.

Beatrice being the one to crack through Ava’s walls first

They have like almost immediate crushes on each other but they’re both extremely guarded so there would be SOOOOOOO MUCH PINING

SLOW BURN

The reason I thought this much about this is because I had this idea of this super intense scene of Ava having this big ass breakdown bc her birthday is nearing and she’s fallen in love with this town and family she’s been put in and she’s had this big realization that she doesn’t want to leave and she gets scared and started pushing everyone away and I had this vision of Suzanne and Jillian and Ava in a living room and Ava was soaking wet bc it was storming and she was coming home way after curfew and they started arguing about her behavior lately and how they love her and they hate seeing her close herself off like she was when she first got there and she breaks down and screams WHY WONT YOU ADOPT ME THEN and immediately the room went quiet and Suzanne walks out of the room and came back with adoption papers and says to her that they did want to adopt her and they were going to ask her the week of her birthday and Jillian said the only reason that hadn’t asked already was they wanted to be sure that it was what Ava wanted too. And then Michael and Lilith appeared bc they were eavesdropping and it became this super sweet moment.

I thought that maybe Jillian could be the town doctor and that maybe Suzanne could work at the school or something

I’m personally kind of a fan of father Vincent and think it would be sick if he had some kind of role

I didn’t have a set Michael age in mind for this really just that Jillian had him before she married Suzanne and that he loves his stepmom so much

Oh Yasmine should definitely be part of the friend group !

That’s all I really had thought of. If someone writes this or just a version of this I think it would be really cool. I seriously wish I had the ability to do it really. If not that is fine too I just hope you guys like the idea!

#warrior nun #avatrice #fanfic suggestion

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westerberg · 4 months ago

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I so desperately just want to get over everything and finally move on with my fucking life but 😭 why do all of the people who claim to love/care about me treat me like shit and why would I always just accept it. Like objectively I can understand what issues are driving these dynamics but like growing up with a narcissistic (he was diagnosed 😬) dad and a sister with some similar traits and losing my mom so young like… my brain chemistry is just messed up and like after being in an environment where people who were claiming to love and care for me while ignoring all but my most basic needs there is like an irrational part of my brain that kind of thinks I deserve being treated like shit and have my feelings and needs ignored & it’s like so hard to shake that line of thinking…. And like I have friends I can kind of talk to but they don’t really understand any of this and idk who to ask 😭 and I’m skeptical of how much I could get out of a therapist bc I react poorly when people try and tell me how I feel and I have a tricky relationship with authority in general. Like not that I’m constantly getting into trouble or breaking the law but I don’t trust authority for sure and I would be super uncomfortable talking to that kind of figure about the worst experiences of my life.

& it’s a especially a weird mindfuck bc i think with my sister and maybe some of the work people their shitty treatment of me comes from a place of jealousy but like 😭 just because I have a crazy waist to hip ratio and a sort of charismatic personality doesn’t mean my life is perfect like come on grow the fuck up. Not to mention it’s a no win situation bc when I was super fat people clearly would think I was like a species slightly less than human and I’d get treated weird based on that. Like especially from my sister her barely hidden jealousy over LOOKS of all things really disgusts me for whatever reason. And she’s said things like “well maybe men are attracted to you, but I have friends!” Like whattttt 😭 awww thanks big sis ❤️ yes you may have only had one short term casual relationship in your 28 years but you DO have casual work friendships that I don’t really have so I guess really you’re pretty cool when you think about it 😛 and she once tried to tell me there wasn’t any “concrete evidence” that people were as into me as I thought which made me feel just as awesomely silenced as I did in the whole work situation 😃

And this is a tangent but like it’s crazy to me how I was parentless at age 20 and no extended family made any real effort to connect or help me or my sister like I don’t understand losing your son and just being like awww 😕 and then you like try and see his kids twice instead of once a year and buy him a memorial bench like. Maybe your grandchildren could use a little more emotional support and guidance in their lives… but they’re incapable of that but that’s a different conversation. Anyway I guess I’m disappointed in nearly everyone I’ve ever known like we could do so much as a species but we’re all so mired in self obsession and jealousy and bullshit and I’m really exhausted by it….

#venting again 😑 I know it’s pms but whatever

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wetcatspellcaster · 5 months ago

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I don’t know if this was asked previously so I apologize if that’s the case, but what was your inspiration for Rosalie? Including her character, class, backstory etc.

Hey anon!

I have answered variations of this before, but I'm always happy to talk about my girl!

The inspiration for Divination Wizard is that it's my favourite D&D subclass, along with Divine Soul Sorcerer 😅

Her character and backstory did not have a specific inspiration, but it did have some clear influences! I've described Rose as an "immune response" before, and it's my best analogy so I'll repeat it here. She was made, in response to other characters I'd encountered. And lord, those characters made me want to double down, HARD.

I had just played a Curse of Strahd game with a bunch of edgelords in the pandemic. Now, people not wanting to play Lawful Good in a campaign is obviously not a problem, and being an edgelord is not a crime, but it was a poorly managed game without a session 0, so a lot of people were at cross purposes, and it made wanting to be good-aligned pretty stressful. I could've been less stubborn about it, but I was wanting to save the world.... in 2020. I didn't understand why this wasn't everyone's power fantasy... in 2020. So we can see why I clung to it till the bitter end. Which is absolutely on me and I'll never pretend otherwise, but the game was also high stakes, so understandably (and irrationally, I quit the game in the end when I realised how silly it was getting) I got anxious every time more obstacles to this presented itself.

And then I got BG3, in early access. Rosalie is very informed by the EA characterisation of the companions. I loved them, but the jokes at the time were that you get bullied for being a nice person - by everyone, not just Astarion (Wyll, you were always a real one). It was very reminiscent of the stress I felt in the game outlined above. It made me feel like "why am I doing this, for fun? why does being good matter to me so much in my silly imaginary world?" I kind of wish Larian had stuck with that vision, bc it led me to think about what kind of person would persist with being nice and doing the right thing in that environment where all your friends are judging you for it... and I realised, it was someone who flat out didn't care what other people thought about them. And thus Rosalie, and a new power fantasy of No Social Anxiety, was born!

As for the agoraphobia - I then took that 'No Anxiety' prompt to an extreme that would give me an interesting story. I met two people in the pandemic who were or had been agoraphobic, and given that it was 2020 and everyone was inside and scared, it was something that fascinated me and that I could also relate to. I am not agoraphobic, but it has since been pointed out to me that I made an OC immune to her mental illness during a period of intense and scary change, when I had a mental illness, during a period of intense and scary change. So I guess that's another inspiration, that I only unpacked afterwards... in fact, I only really unpacked it when I returned to writing her last year, when I'm in recovery and she isn't, and I realised with hindsight what parts of myself I'd put in there.

This is why I don't see Rosalie as a self-insert, but a power fantasy! I will never be her, bc my mental state will never have a magical cure, and I don't think I'll ever be effortlessly nice or fearless. But that's certainly something it's fun to imagine and explore!

#asks #anons #Rosalie tag

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sannasruins · 2 years ago

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blue haired girl

hado nejire x reader

warnings: growing apart, unrequited feelings, abandonment, non-descriptive self-harm, lesbians (the horror!)

a/n: there's a bit of time skipping in this, so i’ve labeled things as their verses in the songs and the years (1, 2, and 3A) + semesters of high school they took place in. is nejire adhd/autistic coded? i cant tell, maybe its because i see the way she is as my normal (adhd) that i cant tell. i'm basing her personality strongly off the wiki bc she really hasn't had that much air time.

word count: 2.9k

inspired by and based on tv girl's- blue hair

Verse 1 - First Semester 1A

You and Nejire met on your first day of high school, class 1A. Both of you had quirks that were more powerful than the rest of the girls in your class, assuming that the two of you thought that you were superior to them and were already looking down on them, they took initiative and distanced themselves from you at the start. This left the two of you with only two options, have no friends, be a lonely outcast for the foreseeable future, or become friends. Obviously, it was an easy choice, and it was nice that the two of you got along well, and probably would have become friends even if you weren’t put in that unfortunate social situation.

She was a blunt girl, not really knowing when it was the appropriate time, if at all, to say something that she wanted to say. She often ended up saying things that were accidentally hurtful, though if you let her know, she would instantly feel remorseful and apologize incessantly. She wasn’t always sure how to make a joke, often her attempts falling flat, but she was bright, and cheery, and had so much knowledge that she longed to share. You couldn’t help but find yourself smiling at her as you listened to her ramble about the newest thing, she learned that week on national geographic.

One day, in the middle of your first year, she asked you how to be funny. You were taken aback, and asked her back, “you think I’m funny?” She nodded with a small smile.

You contemplated on how you should respond to her difficultly abstract question, “I don’t think that’s something you can teach.”

She looked down, her smile falling off her face sent a pang of guilt to your heart. You quickly tried to backtrack, “I think you’re funny though Hado! You’re constantly making me smile and laugh!”. Her eyes met yours, a furrow forming on her brow, you stammered on, “Maybe not everyone thinks you’re funny, but I think that’s true for everyone! You just got to find the people that do think you’re funny and like being around you… like me.” You held eye contact with her despite the bright flush that made its way to your cheeks, ask if you were trying to transfer your conviction over to her. She brushed off your almost confession with a giggle and a change of topic.

Chorus 1- Second Semester 2A

As you both aged, Nejire started to get more notice than you. Not that you were jealous, you being too enamored with her to care, no, you were just happy that she was getting the recognition you thought she so obviously deserved. It did sting though, when she would turn down your invitations for afterschool dates poorly vailed by you as hangouts. She needed to train though, she would say, and dismiss you with a “next time, okay y/n?”

Sometimes as you left the school building on your way home you would take the long way, past the training fields to watch her for a little bit, training with two boys from your class. You wondered why she didn’t ask you to train with her, to help her. You would never ask though, far too afraid of the answer that seemed to be pulling at the hem of your shirt, demanding your attention. She’s just focusing on training, it’s not like she suddenly stopped liking you. It’s not like she wanted to stop being your friend. It’s not like she was purposely ignoring you. Right?

Verse 2- Third Semester 1A

The two of you were sitting in a cafe after school, one that Nejire had shown you a picture of on Pinterest and said the two of you had to go for their cute specialty foods. You had gotten a parfait, the cream on top having been manipulated into the shape of a cat, Nejire got a jasmine tea latte, the art in the foam had her swooning and whipping out her phone to snap pictures of it in multiple angles as she told you about her Pinterest page’s aesthetic, you listened along, slightly confused at the idea of people posting on Pinterest like it was a social media but not questioning it. After she had taken enough pictures of both her and your orders, the two of you started on your treats, she took a long sip from her latte and when she placed it back down on the table, she had suddenly grown a distinguished mustache made of foam. It made you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, trying to keep your laugher a courteous volume to the other patrons was exceedingly difficult as she didn’t seem to notice her new facial accessory and was looking at you very confused. In spite of your shakes of laughter you managed to raise a shaky hand to point at your upper lip, signaling to her what you had found so funny. She raised a finger to her top lip, touching the foam and then pulled it back to see what was on her face. Realizing what she had done, her face blushed a warm pink as she quickly grabbed her napkin to wipe it away. You had finally calmed down and noticed that she had missed a little bit on the far edge.

“Nejire, you still have some,” you told her and pointed on yourself where it was on her, picked the napkin back up and scrubbed at her face, but on the wrong side.

“No, other side,” you specified. She again rubbed at her face with the now crumpled napkin but somehow still managed to miss the small smudge of foamed milk.

Not thinking, you rose and leaned across the table, before wiping the white away with your thumb. You sat back down, and without a thought in your head, licked it off of your thumb.

You noticed her face flush, even more than before, now a hot red; you realized the suggestiveness of what you had just done, and at the same time, felt an explosion of butterflies manifest themselves into your gut.

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, looking down with a slight smile on her face, and you reddened.

The two of you sat in silence for a while before she broke it.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

You didn’t think before you responded.

“Yes.” You hesitated and then added on, “I think you’re really beautiful.”

The two of you fell back into silence.

The purgatory of not knowing how the two of you felt about each other was horrible, but the fear of rejection, not just of a confession but of you as a person, rejecting your identity, kept you in your place.

There really was no winning.

Chorus 2- First Semester 3A

It hurt, seeing her every day, but not being able to talk to her about anything and everything in the way that you had grown used to. She was part of the big 3 now, she was revered by everyone now, she was strong and kind and smart and now they were all seeing what you had from the start. It was selfish of you, you knew, but you wish they hadn't noticed.

She wasn’t being purposefully cruel in her withdrawal from you, she wasn’t doing it to be mean, she had just forgotten, she had just been stretched too thin and something had to go. It was still mean though, and it was still cruel.

You felt the loneliest now, so much so it was almost incomparable. Your days now spent in silence, and slowly falling into the motions. School, train, sleep, school, train, sleep, school, train, sleep. With nothing to break the monotony, life became dull, and you were sinking into a different kind of blue, not the blue of an eye like you did when you first saw Hado Nejire, but into the blue of the mind, getting darker, muddier, harder to see what’s in front of you.

You became more reckless, not in retaliation but due to a slow building and concerning lack of self-preservation. Often throwing yourself into dangerous positions with villains, jumping solo into fights, you had no probability of winning alone, asking for more and more hours at your internship. It kept it at bay for a little while, the numbness, but as with most things, it did not last. You feared you were slowly but surely becoming a shell of your former self.

You needed something more, you needed to keep yourself feeling, needed to keep yourself human, needed to keep yourself. So, you resorted to means you probably shouldn’t have. Flame, blade, burns, blood. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but it was something.

On an especially hot September day it was odd to see students wearing their long-sleeved winter uniforms, but not enough to raise many questions. One girl asked, “Aren’t you hot?”, but you brushed it off, explaining that you just ran cold. A bold-faced lie to anyone who knew you, but none of them did.

As you were working on your lesson book, Hado Nejire walked past your desk on her way to the front of the room, glancing down at you, maybe out of habit, she got a glance of lines of damaged skin, some already faded, but many varying degrees of red. She faltered in her step, double taking, confused as to what she was seeing. Not wanting to cause a scene in class or be caught staring, she almost seamlessly continued walking, and if one hadn’t been watching her, they wouldn’t have noticed her split second reel.

She stopped you by the door after class, and when you tried to scoot by her, thinking she wasn’t aware she was in the doorway, she blocked its entirety with her body, staring you down. She grabbed you by the hand and led you to an unused stairwell as you stumbled behind her hastened pace. You didn’t notice it at the time, but she was especially careful when grabbing you, fearing that she would take hold somewhere that would cause you pain, fearing to reopen possible wounds.

There was a furrow in your brow as you looked at her, wordlessly questioned why she had dragged you there. She turned your arm over, her hand still holding yours, and gently raised your crisp white sleeve, a gasp of dismay escaping her lips as her eyes raked over your battered arm. She dropped your hand only to quickly grab your other one, pulling the sleeve of that arm up too. You were watching her face as she grit her teeth at the sight, her eyebrows pushed into an expression you didn’t know, one you had never seen before even after all the years you had known her. Her head turned and her eyes met yours, weirdly, you thought, they were filled with tears.

“Why?”

This pushed some button you did not know you had, and an unexpected, hot rage filled you.

“What do you mean, Hado?” you did not spit her name, but she flinched as if it was filled with venom.

“Y/n…” she trailed off. You remained silent, seething.

“This isn’t like you, why would you do this?”

You didn’t answer her for a long time before sighing, “You wouldn’t know Hado, you haven’t spoke to me in well over 5 months.”

“I’m sorry, I-” her words almost a whimper, but you interrupted her.

“Please, don’t. I don’t think I can stomach it Hado, I think, whatever you’re going to say next, will only make things worse.”

She clamped her mouth shut, her lips in a pale line, and nodded tearfully, before choking out an “okay”.

Things didn’t change much after that, though she was more watchful of you, you could, at times, feel her eyes boring into you from across the classroom or training halls and fields, and you started feeling a little different, slowing down in your efforts to drive away the numbness, as the numbness seemed to seep away from you. Less and less, you found yourself feeling as if there was nowhere else to go with a knife in your grasp.

You also no longer prayed that she would make time for you, disillusioning yourself, and realizing that she was not perfect, though feelings as strong as yours don’t just simply disappear due to disillusionment.

Verse 3- Third Semester 3A

Her hair had been burnt off, now in a blunt bob, and what once had been marred and blistered skin was now just slightly tinged pink. It still hurt you to see though, quietly observing. She was different now, bolder, more self-assured, Maybe, you mused, something had been burnt off along with her hair. You were different now too though, you were better. You had sought counseling, speaking to the trusted hero you were interning under, and they helped you find and utilize resources to mitigate your mental health. You felt lighter, you were still lonely, but you were now a little bit more at peace with your solitude, and less afraid to put yourself out there, slowly becoming friends with the sidekicks at your internship who were just a couple years your senior.

Chorus 3- After Graduation

Sometimes you would see her on TVs in coffee shops, or in ads in magazines, though if you looked you could find yourself too, maybe not as often, but still there. Both of you were making a name for yourselves in the hero world.

You had started dating a pretty sidekick from your agency, she was one of the first people you had befriended when you started putting in the effort to get better, she had been there for you through many bad nights, and many more good ones. You really, truly loved her. And yes, sometimes you would miss your first love, but not in a way of current longing, but for a past. You would never leave your girlfriend though, even if you got the chance to go back, even if they told you everything would turn out the way you had begged and hoped and dreamt. Those were no longer your dreams.

It was in line at a coffee shop that you ran into her. She looked nice, more mature, gracefully slipping into her early 20’s, face less youthful, but still bright with a smile.

The two of you chatted as you waited for your orders to be taken, and continued afterwards, as you waited for them to be made.

She was direct in her flirting, touching your arm, complementing you, laughing a little too much at things that weren’t that funny. You did not reciprocate. 5 years ago, if she had been doing what she was doing now, you would have been over the moon, indescribably happy, but now, you didn’t feel much of anything at all. You were flattered, maybe a bit annoyed, but the feelings were so watered down, so muted that you could barely describe them as anything. You were happy to talk to an old friend though.

“We should hang out some time,” she told you after your orders had been picked up from the counter and the two of you started towards the front doors, “go on a little afterschool date like we used to.” She smiled and winked.

You politely smiled back at her and opened your mouth to reply, when your phone started going off, the ring tone you had affectionately assigned to your girlfriend, playing.

“Oh, sorry it’s my girlfriend, let me answer real quick,” not waiting for a response from Nejire, you picked up the phone.

“Hey love, what’s up?” You inquired through the phone.

“Are you almost home yet?”

“Yeah, I just picked up your coffee from the coffee place two blocks down.”

“Oh yay! Thank you baby, see you soon, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You ended the call and turned towards Nejire apologetically, “Sorry about that!”

You exited the shop, Nejire holding the door open for you, and stood next to her on the sidewalk, close to the building and out of the way.

“Oh!” you realized you hadn’t answered her question yet, “yeah, it would be nice to hang out and catch up.” This time, hangout had no hidden meanings or crossed fingers. It was purely platonic. “I miss you,” she confessed. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, you were really never expecting her to say that.

“I guess things ended up differently, not the way I wanted I mean.” she clarified. “It’s hard seeing you in the news, or in my fashion magazines, but not being able to see you in person anymore. I just… miss you a lot y/n, even though you’ve not gone anywhere.”

You hmm and nod, “you’re right, I haven’t gone anywhere. That was you, Hado Nejire. I’m proud of you, you're becoming a great hero.” You smiled at her softly. She stood, unmoving, looking at you, maybe waiting for something more, but you were no longer the person who would be able to provide that.

“Well, I need to get going before all this ice melts,” you shook the iced coffee in your hands, “or my girlfriend will have my head.”

“Oh, uh, okay” she stammered.

“Message me! My numbers still the same, if you still have it. You could meet my girlfriend too, I think you’d like her, she’s amazing.”

Nejire nodded, watching your figure as you walked away, bitter jealousy and remorse making their home in her sour stomach.

Hi! I know it may seem like I am romanticizing self-harm in this but I promise I am not. As it is something I have struggled with for many years I am just reflecting my own struggles and thoughts, and trying to represent a mental illness as what it is. That doesn't mean it is something you should do, and if you struggle with it and are tempted after reading, here are some healthier alternatives. Please do not hurt yourselves, lovelies.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #boko no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader angst #fanfic #bnha nejire #mha nejire #nejire hado #nejire x reader #nejire x you #nejire x y/n #hado nejire #bnha #nejire x f!reader #yuri fanfiction #yuri mha #tw:self harm

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