#she slaps you back: booyah

[everqueen12]

Hey long time TAZ mutual: what *still* gets you excited about The Adventure Zone, even now?

LUCRETIAAAAAAA!!!!! i still and always will love lucretia and her complexity and her CHOICES and also how she's still a fucking goof like cmon. 'she slaps you back "booyah."' right alongside not being able to stand by and watch her family be destroyed anymore so she changes the trajectory of the entire universe???? hot diggety shit that is a baller cookie??? how could i not love her there's always just something new to dig into with her too!! stories about stories and how to build a life after the end of the world, but over and over because the world keeps ending like taz balance ended way back in 2017 and it STILL lives in my mind rent free and will forever i think

[dalekofchaos]

Choices I would've added to Life Is Strange

I posted this on the LIS subreddit and thought I'd post it on here.

I wanted to keep to the same story without altering anything major, otherwise I would've stuck to the original plotline with Sean as the big bad, Nathan knowing about the storm, have Max, Chloe, Warren and Victoria team up to give Warren, Kate and Victoria more screen time and give them romance paths and add a ending where Max goes back to save Rachel, Chloe and the Bay.

I might be breaking a rule by adding more Warren, but cut content suggests we were meant to see Max, Chloe and Warren together as a team. Concept art sketch for a cut scene by Edouard Caplain, depicting Max Caulfield, Chloe Price and Warren Graham

Episode 1

Take photo of David harassing Kate. Rewind. Comfort Kate. Keep photo. To this day it baffles me that this is the only time - the only time - where the game breaks its own rules of "Max keeps things on her when she rewinds." Even small things like helping Joyce make breakfast respects this rule. If you tell Joyce you want one thing, grab all the ingredients, and then rewind to tell her you want the other thing, all the ingredients you grabbed are still in your inventory! You can have the items for both breakfasts in your inventory. Though the game does remove them all once you talk to Joyce and commit to making breakfast. You could make an argument that the photo didn't exist to the point she rewinds to, which breaks the semantics of how the time-rewind works (notably how if you pick up an object off say a table, then rewind to before you picked it up, it's still no longer on the table), but it still annoys me endlessly. Because that was my natural thought on that sequence, and the game just slaps your wrist and says "No. In this game all about rewinding and undoing your decisions and not having to commit to them, you have to commit to one." It becomes more relevant and thematic in later chapters, but it just felt oddly out of place so early in Chapter 2.

The choice between Help Warren before jumping into Chloe's truck or not. If you help Warren, Max kicks Nathan in the balls and Warren doesn't get a black eye. If you don't help, Warren gets a black eye as was in canon

Warren romance playthrough. A series of choices to help flesh out Warren as a character and a potential partner for Max. Continuing on the Help Warren choice. Helping Warren also leads to Warren hopping in the truck with Max and Chloe. Warren has a black eye from the headbutt and Chloe offers to use the first aid kit in the bathroom. Cute scene where Max helps Warren reduces the swelling of his black eye and you have the option to hold Warren’s hand or not. Warren takes off when his eye is healed up enough and wishes Max well in reconnecting with Chloe

If you choose to comfort Victoria, this leads to an actual friendship with Victoria. When she sends the thnx but we're not friends" text, you can reply insisting on it. This will prompt you to go back to the dormitories and when you go back to Vic’s dorm, Max and Victoria get to talk, become close, show Victoria the pictures Max has taken, have a laugh over the email situation and get Victoria to see the way she was treating Kate was wrong. Victoria will tell Max that she was jealous over her not caring what anyone thinks of her and thanks Max for coming and invites her to join the Vortex Club as it needs real cool people like her and not snobs and suck ups. Max asks advice on what to do with Chloe and tells her how guilty she feels for not keeping in touch and asks what she should do. Victoria tells Max to suck it up and get back in touch and make it up to Chloe and Max thanks Victoria for the advice and they leave as friends.

If you took Victoria's photo after Chloe proclaims "booyah skank, karma's a bitch" Chloe will ask to keep it because it gives her joy to seeing Victoria brought down to a peg and that Rachel would've loved it.(will add onto this for the other episodes)

Episode 1 ends with Max, Chloe and Warren together as the snow falls(evidenced by the concept art)

Episode 2

Romance Warren path. After Warren's offer to Go Ape, Max gets to explain her powers and the situation with Kate and Nathan. We get to prove it to Warren, we also get to learn more about Warren as a character. We find out Warren is basically the boy version of Matilda. Was neglected as a child, so he chose books and science as his passion and sci-fi and it made him feel whole.(idk this was the best I could come up with, but it’s more than what DONTNOD has given us) then Warren will promise that he will look around and help out with Kate.

Max will take photographic evidence of Nathan vandalizing Max's room and leaving the threatening messages. When Max accuses Nathan at the end of the episode, she presents it to Wells, Wells recognizes the message as Nathan's handwriting and Jefferson recognizes the photo as Nathan's style and this leads to Nathan spending the night in jail as well as being suspended.

Continuing on from Chloe and Victoria's paint photo. We are given the chance to tell Chloe about Kate's situation and let’s say in addition to showing off our powers to Chloe, Max tells Chloe about Kate’s ordeal and Chloe’s just as pissed as Max. Maybe in the Junkyard or on the way back to Blackwell, Chloe will offer Max to mass produce the pictures, post them everywhere at Blackwell and email the picture so she can post it online. She says “let’s call this Kate’s revenge” if you accept this will happen throughout episodes 3-4. -Victoria feels what it’s like to be humiliated and bullied and feels some humility -Everyone in the Vortex Club except Nathan turns on Victoria -Everyone in Blackwell calls her “paintgirl” and some things worse. -Victoria absolutely hates us and when she sends her texts, Max can either apologize or stand her ground and call her out like the bitch she is “karma’s a bitch ain’t it? this is what you made Kate feel. You deserved every bit of it.” -At the party, you can try to make nice and Victoria will learn a lesson that there are consequences for her actions. You can either forgive or condemn Victoria. Whichever you choose, you then choose to warn her or not about Nathan.

Continuing on the Victoria friendship. Victoria is genuinely nice to Kate and apologizes and says she deleted the video. This will prompt a hopeful Kate and a Taylor asking “wtf was that and Victoria laying down the law yelling “be nice to Kate and Caulfield, that’s an order” Continuing on after Max convinces Courtney to let her in the guest list and into Jefferson’s room, Nathan will be his mean self but Victoria will say “be nice to Max, she’s my best friend” Victoria will start calling Max Maxine, while Max doesn’t like it, Max will allow her to call her that if she gets to call Victoria “Tori” Victoria and Max will have a moment to talk before class starts. Catches up, Max shows the photos she’s taken in episode 2, asks how Kate’s doing and finally Victoria personally invites Max to the End Of The World Party and you are given the choice yes or no, obviously you choose yes. Which prompts Victoria to say “congratulations Max Caulfield, you’re officially a VIP member of the Vortex Club”

Episode 3

Warren romance path. Max, Chloe and Warren will be investigating Blackwell together. Warren will use his hacking skills to help them break into school. They each search for clues. In the Principals office of course, but also searching where the last Vortex Club was in search of anything that might help. Warren keeps a lookout while Max and Chloe skinny dips in the pool and Warren is the one to warn them to hide. You get the choice of choosing between going to Chloe’s place or going to Warren’s dorm. In Warren’s dorm, it will open with Max and Warren holding each other, Max at first blushes, but embraces the moment and the two taking a selfie together. We see Warren's dorm looking like this. Max talks to Warren, about how much she appreciates Warren for always being by her side, and Kate's. Warren tells Max that he loves her And a choice prompts to Kiss Warren or Hug. In place of Max wearing Rachel's clothes, Max wears one of Warren's nerdy shirts. They will talk and say they should go on a date to the End Of The World Party as a date and a means to spy on Nathan and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone again. Chloe texts Max to come over and Max kisses Warren goodbye and says “see you later my white knight.”

Victoria friendship path. In the beginning of episode 3, Victoria sends a text congratulating Max and saying she’s proud she did something, while Max says she did more by the end and saying she’s proud of Tori

When we kiss Chloe, Chloe doesn’t push back, she embraces Max in a kiss

When we choose the “Side with Chloe” option in episode 3, we print out David’s evidence and take pictures of the surveillance footage as proof for Joyce. We talk about it but we don’t show it to Joyce and Joyce automatically sides with Max. I’d also have David snap and attempt to hit Chloe and Joyce stops him and finally puts her foot down with David and shows him the door. Always bothered me that Joyce only begins to side against David by Max's word. She might as well have screamed that Max was the golden child. Joyce spent literal years watching David treating Chloe like crap right in front of her, and even now that he’s raising his hand at her she’s not reacting, but the second he talks a little too harshly to Max, she jumps to take her side and honestly. Chloe cannot not have noticed that. Obviously she wasn’t going to start a scene about this since they were already all fighting with David, but I’m pretty sure she would’ve under different circumstances because. The audacity. I would’ve gone mad.

Max will get to stand up to Chloe. Basically she puts her foot down on Chloe. After Chloe snaps after finding out about Rachel and mocking Kate's suicide attempt/suicide, Max can then lose her shit and stand up to Chloe. Basically says the way she treats her is not okay and if she wants to help her find Rachel and seek justice for Kate, then things are gonna have to change or they are finished. Then Max leaves Chloe behind with Chloe realizing that she needs to change. I just REALLY wanted Max to stand up to Chloe at the end of this episode instead of just letting Max act like a doormat and take her shit.

Not really a choice. But I'd alter one thing about Alternate's Max's look. Give her long hair, and tied up in a ponytail like she was a kid.

Episode 4

Not really a choice, but after the returning from her time jump, Max returns to her dorm and goes to Chloe. Chloe properly apologizes for how she’s been acting since they got back together and agree to put everything in the past so they can work together to find Rachel and give Kate justice. Would've been better than just seeing the apology over text.

Before we begin our investigation in episode 4. Max calls Joyce and David so everyone could let it all out. It’s basically the therapy that Joyce wanted David and Chloe to go to but didn’t. Chloe calls out David for his abuse for the last 3 years of her life and the fact that he made her feel like a prisoner in her own home and how much the cameras made it worse. Then Chloe calls him out on Rachel. “Rachel was my angel. She was the only good thing that ever happened to me since my dad died and you and the spoiled rich kid took her away from me. Worse. You stalked her like you stalked Kate. And now Rachel is missing. Congrats, David I hope it was fucking worth it.” Then Chloe unloads on Joyce. For all the times she covered for David’s abuse, choosing to either ignore or condone the abuse and for the fact that she’d rather pretend everything was fine. Maybe end it with “I didn’t need a fucking step-father, I needed my mother when I needed her most and your first instinct was to chose the worst fucking man to bring into my life. Fuck both of you.” Maybe after David and Joyce say their piece.(hopefully both of them being remorseful) Max can either choose to tell Chloe to forgive them or “fuck them” basically Max calls out David for his bullying and abusive behavior, Max can call out David. “You saw Frank, who was an adult, perving on Rachel, a high school student, you even had the evidence and you did nothing? Kate needed help and instead of being that help, you treated her like shit” David admits he fucked up with Rachel and wishes he could’ve sent his evidence to the police. then Max calls out Joyce for being a shitty mother. “I used to think you ruled Joyce, but you are a terrible mother. Chloe needed a mother and you failed her. She needed you, she didn't need you to bring some man she's never met before, she needed her mother who was traumatized and hurt by her father's death. And you let David hit your daughter and don't even see anything wrong with it? You talk about Chloe like she's a problem, like a burden. She's your daughter Joyce and she deserved better. ” David and Joyce would apologize to Chloe for the past three years and do better for Chloe. I don’t know how forgiving them would play out, maybe it would be therapeutic and would result in closure for the Price-Madsen family and they have a chance to start over after Max helps them in that direction. After choosing condemn them. I think Chloe would tell Max. “Max, thank you. I needed to finally let all that shit out.” “You deserved so much better Chloe.” “I got better Max, I got you.” And if you chose forgiveness. “I will still hate them both for how life went for the last 3 years, but I think we can start fresh. Thank you Max.”

Chloe would enter Kate’s hospital room with Max. We’d see Kate talking with Chloe and we find out that Kate was there for Chloe when Rachel went missing and made Chloe feel a little better, that’s why Chloe said “she’s cool”

Max can warn Kate about the storm and tell her to leave Arcadia Bay immediately.

Reject Warren path. After the Warren/Nathan situation. If you're pursuing Chloe and only choose platonic actions with Warren. Max gets the opportunity to turn Warren down. Max will tell him she's sorry, she just doesn't feel that way about Warren and just sees him as a cool geeky older brother and points out to Warren that Brooke likes him and that he should totally hook up with her, Warren appreciates for gently letting him down and is glad they can still be friends and says that he's glad Max has Chloe. You will see Warren and Brooke together at the party.

Max calls out Frank on his bullshit. Instead of choosing to befriend Frank, Max gets to call him out. Calls him out for turning Pompidou into a violent attack dog, the fact he sells drugs to kids and his predatory obsession with Rachel. “You didn’t love Rachel, you were obsessed with her and whatever you did drove her away and honestly? You’re not just a creepy drug dealer, you’re a pedophile, Frank.” Frank of course would get violent and you have two choices. Rewind and call the police or let Chloe shoot Frank and afterwords Max calls to animal services to protect Pompidou and give him a new home. Either you get the client book off of Frank’s dead body or you get it after the cops arrest Frank. Either way you get rid of a predator. Sorry, not sorry. I have no sympathy for people who prey on children.

Warren romance path. Instead of Warren appearing drunk, Warren waits for Max and awaits her on the dance floor. Max takes Warren to dance with and it's like a moment of peace or like the scene of Alex dancing with Duckie. It ends with Max and Warren kissing and Max taking a picture to capture the moment forever.

Continuing the Victoria friendship path. At the party, Victoria says, she's late, but she's happy Max is there. Max fills her in on what her day was like. Victoria is proud she and Chloe stood up to David and Joyce and that Kate is doing well. Max warns Victoria about Nathan. and as they part ways, Victoria hugs Max and tells her to be safe and call her if she or Chloe needs anything. But instead of going to Jefferson, Victoria goes to the hospital to visit Kate. As part of a culmination of your choices in the relationship with Victoria, you can encourage her to go and visit Kate to apologize in person. It wouldn't even have to be an extra scene, just part of the ending montage to an episode showing Victoria knocking on Kate's door and Kate opening it and inviting her inside. Maybe this could have been what happens to Victoria instead of ending up in the Dark Room. So if you do well enough to befriend her and she accepts your warning, she goes to see Kate and is spared being kidnapped by Jeffershit. if she doesn't accept your warning, she ends up in the DR. Would have been nice and felt more rewarding than what we got! Also? Kate would tell Victoria about Max's warning, meaning both Kate and Victoria would survive the storm!

We are given the opportunity to enter a photo for the Everyday Hero Contest. We enter at the last minute as Jefferson would give Max the opportunity. So Max with Kate’s permission, Kate would let Max take a photo of her in the hospital. Which wins the Everyday Hero Contest. Max gives an inspiring speech about how everyone can be a hero and that Kate has always inspired her, how much she loves Kate and that she hopes that Kate knows that she is loved by everyone in Blackwell and everyone would cheer Max on. This would also give Jefferson the means and opportunity to drug Max. It honestly works better than Jefferson magically appearing at the Junkyard with no explanation(and it never being brought up).

Episode 5

We are given the choice to save Nathan or let Jefferson kill him. Cut dialogue indicates there was something more meant for Nathan in the final episode. Jefferson says this to Max “Like you Max, I… am a camera. And like some cultures believe I’m going to use my camera. To capture… your… soul. Now take a break. I need to deal with Nathan first. Don’t worry, our session is just… getting started." I think Max could’ve helped Nathan in the dark room, to owe her the favor, Nathan would help Max.

Since I didn't have Chloe killed in Episode 4, Chloe and David would've worked together to save Max. Max and Chloe rush to diner to save Joyce, while also to use Warren's picture to go back in time. While at the diner we get a chance for Max to confess her feelings for Chloe and to tell Joyce while she approves.

While on the journey to the Lighthouse before the Nightmare world kicks in, we are given the choice to save everyone in the diner or leave everyone behind. After you save everyone at the diner, Chloe asks if they should double back to the hospital to save Kate and Victoria, but Max insists the hospital is so far from the storm and they'd be safer there anyway

Third ending. Sacrifice Max. Max screams no, Nathan freaks out and shoots Max. David subdues Nathan and Max is rushed to the hospital. Inspired by this comic and video

An addition to the endings. I wish we could have seen the last entry in Max's journal after she saved Chloe or Arcadia Bay. It would give one last glimpse into her thoughts, as well as clarify the endings a bit more. Also not really a choice, but an addition to the Bae ending. I'd make this ending twice as long, and the extra 5 minutes would be scenes following each other over the next few years. Show how Max and Chloe head to Seattle to visit Max's parents. Show how they help each other cope with trauma (like Chloe comforting Max when she wakes up from nightmares, or Max supporting Chloe at Joyce's funeral, or how they grieve every October 11). Show how Max doesn't give up on becoming a photographer, and Chloe is there to encourage her to follow her dreams. Show how they begin a romantic relationship (including the kiss this ending deserves) if you romanced Chloe. End it on a positive note as Max and Chloe buy the RV and go traveling like they always wanted to, and the last shot is Max and Chloe smiling at each other before hitting the road (as in the original Bae ending). Also among a few shots we might see Max and Chloe hanging out with Kate and Victoria - the former would be if you saved Kate, and the latter would be if you were nice to Victoria. and Nathan appearing if you saved him. What we'd see with Nathan is Nathan in a blue jacket like he has in the alternate timeline to reflect his new change in behavior and redemption. Hugging Victoria, apologizing to Kate, Max and Chloe. Hugging Victoria, Max and Kate and shaking Chloe's hand. I'm tempted to say he could've been in the Brody role in LIS 2, since he kind of fits Brody, cause Brody's line about his family having money but no soul would fit a Nathan after surviving the storm. It would have made this ending more complete, it wouldn't have required their cameos in the sequel, and already in 2015 it would have disproved the theories that death would continue to haunt Chloe/another storm would happen. Addition to the Bay Ending. I like to think it would be a collection of the montages we already got and Chloe’s funeral. But more. We’d see Max dealing with Chloe’s loss, her grief, but ultimately showing Max living her life and moving on. Show that Max still misses Chloe, but show her living her life. And just show Max living her best life with Warren, Kate, Brooke, Dana, Daniel, Stella and Alyssa. Even show montage of a friendship with Victoria. Show Max having a tea date with Kate. Show Max Goin Ape with Warren. Max doing photoshoots with Victoria and shopping dates with Victoria, Courtney and Taylor. Max doing group projects and games with Warren, Kate, Brooke, Stella, Alyssa, and Daniel. Max being Dana’s official photographer. And show Max and her friends graduating Blackwell and living their lives in Arcadia Bay. We just needed to see that despite losing Chloe, Max is okay and that while she will hold onto the memories of Chloe, she can live. The final scene is Max and Warren visiting the Lighthouse. The Blue Butterfly appears and it touches Max and as the Butterfly flies away, Max says "Goodbye Chloe as Warren holds onto Max and shares a kiss at the Lighthouse."

[pinklurkingcreature]

𝐀𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗌ɦⱺω 𝖼υᑯᑯᥣ𝖾𝗌

✮⋆˙ 𝐎𝖿𝖿 𝗍ɦ𝖾 ɦⱺⱺ𝗄

♡ romantic !

Note: Hai hai!~ sorry it's taken me a bit to make something, I've been playing splatoon and such! Also motivation and ideas splatted at some thoughts ( ω-、)

Anywho, let's get into the ficccc! Booyah!

9/25/24

𝐏𝖾α𝗋ᥣ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

-Pearls usually cuddles you whenever she wants, but it's mischievous knowing her. ALWAYS gets a mischievous Twinkle in eyes and smirk on face before she tickles you or decides to bite you for some reason. A ball of unpredictable mischievousness that loves you to bits!

-however.. afer shows its a little bit different, usually she wants to be held and be in your arms! Better to reach when she wants to tease you! How else is she supposed to wake you up even she does get slapped or you be pouty/grumpy.. she loves to tease you when you are >:3

-After shows she's still slightly mischievous, but.. she just wants to hold you. Please tell her she did amazing and let her just talk till she falls asleep. It may sound like nonsense at points, but she's trying guys!

────୨ৎ────

Pearl's throat burnt slightly, all that singing was worth it, however.. the inkling melted into the bed that you and she shared. It felt so nice on a tense body.. she'd tightend her hold around you staring tiredly at you. "Hey." She'd catch your attention making you look at her. Too which she gave a sloppy smirk and poked you. "How'd I do? I better have done good,.." she sounded slightly sleepy, so her playful threat failed. You roll your eyes and stare at your tired girlfriend. "You did amazing! But, didn't I just tell you to rest your voice pearlie?" You remind. "Yeah yeah.." she blinked in annoyance.

────୨ৎ────

𝐌α𝗋𝗂𐓣α⋆⭒˚.⋆ ‧₊˚ ⋅

-Marina likes cuddles but isn't as needy for them as Pearl is. It helps her relax when she gets nervous and before and after shows. Usually your backstage so you can give her some assuring affection then before she starts.

After shows, she wants to be in your arms, however. You both take turns spooning each other usually. But after shows please just hold her and rub her back. Praise her performance and tell her how amazing she is.

-Her voice is probably also sore, as goes for all the idols so she may mutter small "I love you" or tickle you so she can hear you laugh. It cheers her up when she's tired.

────୨ৎ────

You gently rubbed Marina's back to help her tense body and mind relax, she was so pretty... Marina let out a small comfortable sigh and looked up at you. "I love you.." she said with a soft smile. She kisses your nose lazily. "Aw, Mari.. I love you too. You did so well.." you'd praise the octoling making her lay her head back on you. She felt her eyes get heavier and heavier.. knowing she was safe she let herself relax. She let herself fall asleep.. your so amazing, the best thing to ever happen to her..

[herbgerblin]

What are some of your favourite TAZ:B quotes? Ones so iconic you can quote them by heart

I can't think of any that aren't already iconic quotes. I do think, "She slaps you back BOOYAH" lives in my head rent free. As does that one liveshow quote, "And these two stygians to my left are my compatriots, Merle and Magnus."

[princess-of-purple-prose]

[ID: A collection of excerpts from the transcripts of The Adventure Zone: Balance.

1.

Merle: Um, is there a health plan? Director: Uh, just don’t die.

2.

Griffin: She’s a little bit, uh, disoriented. She just woke up, and- Travis: I slap her. Griffin: She slaps you back. Director: Booyah.

3.

Director: [whispering] Pistachios. –she says Merel: Shelled? Director: Yes, I leave the shells on them. Gives you stronger, sturdier teeth. Now get the hell out of my office 4. Director: Uh, any other non-terrible questions?

5.

Taako: Cause he loved Pringles too much? Did he pop and then neglect to stop? Director: Hey if that’s a crime we all deserve to be thrown in the brig, right?

6.

Magnus: What- what happens to the bracers after we’ve found all seven objects? Director: Oh, shit,

7.

Merle: Alright. Uhh. I am smartest. My friend, Taako is– Director: Well, listen to you.

8.

Magnus: I want to be Lord High Awesomesauce. Director: Nope, that sounds dumb. End ID]

went looking through moonlighting/the first few lunar interludes to make myself sad with some of the earlier moments with Madame Director but instead i was just reminded again and again how funny everything she says is and how I Love Lucretia

[timeforlupsopinion]

Early lucretia is just so fucking funny. God she is just humour queen.

[ecothroat]

let lucretia be goofy!

yeah!!! #LetLucretiaBeGoofy2021!!! i’ll start a movement myself akdnwkdns actually here are some goofy headcanons because i’m thinking about Her

in 95% of group photos with the crew, she’d make a weird face or gesture that no one would notice until after it was taken. mostly it was the bunny ears thing over someone’s head

one time davenport saw lucretia and taako sprinting away from a government building that looked like it had been flooded. when he confronted them it took them a full five minutes to stop laughing so they could explain what happened. taako insists it was her idea

she’s the most likely to be found grabbing food from the kitchen in the middle of the night. when she gets caught she just makes deadpan eye contact and does that “i’m watching you” gesture before leaving with half a bag of chips in hand

she’s the queen of pranks. she’s ganged up with every teammate at some point to prank the others. if someone gets pranked she’s the first suspect. her poker face is impenetrable

she’s pranked bureau employees a few times and no one suspected her because she’s Elegant and Has Gravitas but sike a fancy person can cover a room in fantasy sticky notes too

when she called it the bureau of outstanding balance she almost almost almost didn’t change it because the thought of being “the director of the boob” is very funny

one time lucretia actually locked barry and lup in a closet because their oblivious pining got too much, even for her patience. when he heard about it taako just went “THANK YOU.”

she’s infamous in the team for just. slapping people. all the time. not enough to hurt but like, if she’s laughing really hard she’s gonna slap the person who made her laugh. if someone makes a gross joke she’s slapping them. if someone slaps her she slaps them back. booyah

speaking of one time they were on a plane that discriminated against humans at somewhere near the end of the year she just bitch slapped the person she was talking to for being rude

lucretia started 103 of the total 347 team starblaster pillow fights. she knows because she was the one who kept count. if someone annoys her when she’s trying to sleep they’re getting hit with a pillow

[clausliveblogexperience]

TAZ BALANCE EPISODE 17

fuck it lets watch the interlude

- FESTIVAL TIME??

- COSTUME TIME??

- ok so magnus is dressed as taako that's hilarious

- i kinda wanna draw magnus in taakos clothes thatd be funny

- fuck i wanna see merle as ursula so bad

- taako is dressed as judge lance ito, who i,, dont know,,

- are we gonna get an hour of just the boys having fun in a festival in funny costumes? cause fuck yeah

- i rlly dont want magnus to eat the unicorn dick

- magnus does seem like the type of guy to get scammed at a festival

- oh right the character voices

Taako: Listen, it’s not the worst thing that’s been stamped on my hand this week. Let me tell you.

everytime we hear a bit more about taakos life it gets weirder

- justin stop complaining im having so much fun, i wanna see magnus with his face painted

- aw no......actual adventure time :(

- what the hell is happening

Travis: I slap her

Griffin: She slaps you back.

   Director: Booyah. 

im in love with her i think

- this seems so weird are we really gonna resolve it in one ep?

- wait so we're just gonna gloss over that for this ep??

[everqueen12]

@inkedinserendipity

has anyone drawn ling, yao, and chien po as tres horny boys

[bureauofoverbalence]

Im sad we missed out on "I slap her." "She slaps you back." "Booyah." Interaction between the Madam Director and Magnus in the gn.

[jelloopy]

Lunar Interlude I Notes

Previous: Character Creation, HtbG, Moonlighting, MotRPL, 

Carnival Chaos

Midsummer solstice! There’s an eclipse at noon. A festival! Everyone wears costumes in hopes scare off the bad vibes and save the crops in the upcoming year

Magnus is Taako, Merle is Ursula, Taako is Judge Lance Ito

Patrilda gave Magnus the tainted unicorn dick (Why the fuck did Magus want this?)

Merle and Taako get banned from the carnival games for cheating with magic (very reasonable)

Merle wants to go dance and Magnus wants to get his face painted like a kitty (Merle is always so drawn to dancing its like a prophecy)

The eclipse is starting! They all get sunglasses!

There are eyes in the sky! Thousands of whispers and sweeping orchestral music as well. It knocks out everyone at the festival except for our three boys. (Alright, it’s time everyone. One year is on the clock. John is coming whether they know it or not)

Lucretia wakes up first and Magnus slaps her and she slaps him back “booyah!” (That seemed too natural of a reaction… How many times did they like, slap each other in the century?)

They debrief Lucretia in her office. “I don’t know what it was” But only the people on the moonbase were affected by it. (Liar. I get why but she should be M U C H more worried than she seems to be. Maybe she’s just that good at acting but I would like shit my pants if after 12 years of safety the hunger shows up again.) (Woah I just thought about it. Is the reason why the hunger was able to find them was because of the fact that three of the relics were so close that it was easier to track? I mean the hunger couldn’t find them for 12 years because they were so spread out…)

Merle goes to the gashapon first! he gets some slippers

Magnus goes next and gets the Fletchers mitt!

Taako goes next and is inept at it once more but gets the Gust Master 5000 (Fashionable!)

Magnus hands Merle his bow and asks him to shoot him in the background but merle fails while Taako is being inept at the Gashapon (I felt this in my heart)

Leon looks at the Umbrastaff again and teaches him that the sigil at the bottom means it can cast Slow fall at anytime (Which is never used I think but it’s neat!)

Fantasy Costco time! GARFIELD THE DEALS WARLOCK (This guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

Taako buys the Pocket Spa

Lord Stephen Q Fletcher Esquire The Goldfish the III makes his debut (My lord! I had no idea! Please forgive us for forgetting your full title!)

Magnus Joins taako in the Pocket Spa (oop? Sirs? You both have your own partners… Oh it’s ok they said no homo)

They are now Level 6!!!! (Our babies are growing up in the world!)

[everqueen12]

Title: the hands that first drew fire from the darkness Author: me!! Rating: T Ships/Primary Characters: lucretia, the starblaster crew but mostly lucretia Warnings/Tags: taz is a story about stories and it's all through the lens of lucretia, stolen century, s&s, postcanon, where was lucretia during the scene about destroying the crystal on the robot world during stolen century Summary: lucretia and her choices Notes: lucretia fic about her choices and the power of storytelling!! this is the first time i’ve written taz fic in like a fucking year please enjoy

link in reblog!

[fourdaysofrain]

Heavy is the Heart

Summary: Peter tries on a suit. 

(Been a while since I’ve posted one of these, eh? Hope you enjoy!)

Read on AO3

The lab felt colder now. 

Tony had always kept it on the cooler side so that none of the machinery would overheat, but now the whole room felt like it was covered in a thin layer of ice and dust. 

Peter could still feel the ghost of warmth from Pepper’s hand from where she rubbed his shoulder after unlocking the door for him. 

Tony kept it exactly the same, she had said. Even when we moved upstate. He always knew you were going to come back.

Well, here he was. 

He was just here to pick up some textbooks he left behind last time he was here. Either five years or a week ago. Pepper and May made it clear he could visit as often as he wanted, so he could take his time. He didn’t even know what that meant. Take his time on what, picking up old metal scraps?

He ran a finger along his old desk and frowned at the streak left on the surface. Yeah, exactly the same is right. Tony had always been stringent about letting people into the lab, and that apparently included cleaners. 

They never had to worry about dust before. That was new. 

Peter was only there, carefully searching for his textbooks, for a few minutes before he heard a loud crash from below. 

He huffed out a sigh and wiped his hands on his jeans. 

There weren’t any employees in the building, Pepper had told him that on the way over. Not even FRIDAY was active. The entire building had been shut down until the rest of the world got used to the sudden population increase. The only people here were him and Pepper, who was probably waiting for him downstairs. He should go check on her and see what caused that noise. 

His hand was almost touching the door when he heard faint voices coming down the hall. He softly pressed his ear against the door to eavesdrop. 

“You’re sure we can get in?” a voice asked. 

A gruff chuckle sounded in response. “You gotta trust me. This tech is cutting edge. A lot can change in five years, you know.” 

“I’m just saying, Stark seems like the type of guy to protect his stuff. How do we know there isn’t more security?”

“He hasn’t been here in years,” the other voice responded. “His wife being here was a fluke. Stark went off the grid way before he killed himself.”

“Good thing he kept you on the payroll, eh?”

Peter sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled away from the door as they continued. He probably had thirty seconds before they reached the door, and who knows how long it would take them to get in. 

His brain ran over what he knew. They did something to Pepper. They were going to break into the lab. His suit was currently hanging up in his closet. He didn’t even bother to bring his web-shooters. 

He had to find something to protect his identity. He wouldn’t be able to explain being in Tony’s personal lab. Peter’s eyes darted around the room, searching for something that could help him. His breath hitched when he landed on what he needed. 

Of course, he thought. Nothing can ever be easy. 

He let his eyes bounce around the room, looking for any other option, but time was running out. He skidded across the lab and leaped behind Tony’s desk, grabbing a chunk of metal from its surface and slapping it to his chest. 

By the time he hit the ground, Peter was wearing an Iron Man suit. 

Nanoparticles had been a project of Tony’s ever since they came back from Germany. He had just perfected them a few weeks before… all that. Peter remembered his infectious excitement the day he made the first working prototype. Now he was the one wearing it. 

The UI flicked into view. It was too much. He gathered his knees in his arms from under Tony’s desk where he was kneeling. While he was screwing his eyes shut, the door to the lab slammed open. 

“I’m telling you I heard something,” came a clear voice from the entrance. 

Deep breaths, deep breaths. 

“You didn’t hear shit, you’re being paranoid.”

C’mon Peter, you can do this. Open your eyes. 

“I’m just saying, the goddamn CEO was here. You really think she comes here alone?”

Peter finally opened his eyes to peer through the mask. Although he could only see the bottom of Tony’s desk, the UI overlayed everything with a neon glow. FRIDAY was only put in the active suits, but the ghost of her remained in the prototype. 

Peter took another slow, deep breath. Yep. FRIDAY was the only ghost he had to worry about. 

Best case scenario, they wouldn’t find anything valuable and would just leave.

“Wait a second.” Peter froze at how close the voice was to him. “Why does a tech billionaire have a high school biology textbook?”

Peter bit back a sigh. Of course, he had left his textbook on Tony’s desk. When has his life been anything but the worst case?

He counted down slowly. 

“You’re kidding. The fuck?”

Three.

“I swear, come look at this.”

Two. 

“Christ, this is straight out of my son’s class.” Both of the voices were coming from the other side of the desk now. ”Did Stark have a secret kid or something?”

That’s his cue. 

Peter pushed the desk up, knocking over the two men. He flung his hand out at one of them, then flinched at the blast that fractured the desk. 

Right, no webs. He had to do this the old fashioned way. 

By the time he looked up from his hand, one of the men had already scrambled out from under the desk’s remains. He lunged at him blindly while the other struggled with the desk. 

Peter slammed his hand into the man’s head before his fist could make contact with the armor and winced at how quickly he dropped. 

The other man showed his empty hands and started rambling as soon as Peter looked over at him. “Look, I don’t want to fight you. This was all Harrison’s shitty idea, I knew it was bad from the start.”

Peter sighed, blandly noting the metallic edge the helmet gave the sound. He just needed to get rid of these guys so he could take off the suit. 

The men weren't built like most of the people Peter faced. They were scrawny. Peter didn’t want to hurt them. He spotted a roll of duct tape on the floor and motioned for the man to grab it. He picked it up and held it out to Peter. 

“Alright, hands behind your back.” Peter flinched at how familiar his voice sounded through the suit. 

It took him a few times to tear off the duct tape once he sufficiently wrapped the man’s wrist due to how much his hands were shaking. 

It’s just the adrenaline. 

“Are there any more of you?” Peter asked, hoping the suit covered up his nervous lilt. 

The man fidgeted in place. “Just one. Jesse. He’s looking after the girl. He’s chicken-shit, though.” He sneered at the unconscious man on the ground. ”He only has a knife because Harrison was so sure the whole place’d be empty.” He moved his gaze to his feet. ”Jesus. I’m going to prison.”

Peter shifted his weight, still loosely holding the man’s wrists. 

“I just got back and now I’m going to fucking prison.”

Peter was going to vomit. He couldn’t do this right now. This was too much. 

He carefully moved the man down to the floor, trying to tune out what he was saying. He finally got out of the lab and fell into the wall, hands scrambling at his neck until the helmet of the suit finally receded.  

Breathe in, hold, breathe out. 

Holy shit, he felt like he was having an asthma attack. He didn’t know how long he was leaning against the wall, trying to control his breathing. 

Finally, the racing in his chest calmed down and the static on the edges of his vision faded away. He just had to wear the suit for a few more minutes and then he could take it off forever. He could do this. The helmet slid back over his face as he pushed himself off of the wall. 

Keeping to the sides of the hallway, Peter retraced his steps back to the lobby where Pepper had been waiting for him. He peered around the final corner to see her standing with her hands raised, while the third intruder, Jesse, had a knife pointed at her. Jesse had his back to where Peter was standing. 

Peter leaned back behind the corner to take one final deep breath.

He jumped out into the lobby. As he ran towards Jesse, who had dropped the knife in surprise, the rockets in the suit’s boots flicked on. He was flying, shakily enough. From six inches off the ground, he managed to tackle Jesse to the ground, narrowly missing Pepper. 

Peter carefully stood up, trying to not step on Jesse, who was already out cold. He looked over to Pepper, who was frozen in shock. 

The suit made his footsteps echo through the room as he walked over to her.

“Are you okay, Ms. Potts?”

“You’re…” Pepper trailed off to graze her hand on the helmet’s metal cheek, her eyes shining. 

Peter knew how it must look to her. He was wearing the Iron Man suit. Tony and him were around the same height. He just saved a grieving widow wearing her dead husband’s armor. 

“Sorry, it’s--” Peter saw her hand stiffen as the helmet receded. The rest of the armor followed suit, retreating into the housing unit on his chest. “It’s just me. Just Peter.”

“Peter.” Pepper closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, Peter.”

The metal on his chest seemed to burn with his eyes as he stood there, motionless. 

Pepper slowly ended the hug, keeping one hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his cheek. Peter forced himself to not flinch away. 

“He’d be proud of you.”

Tag List: @ironfamjam @addi-is-amazing @mysterio-is-a-little-bitch @wellplacedbanana @night0seven @unfathomable-universe​ @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @spideynamu

[torsamors]

top 5 mcelroy bits

1. The entire episode they did for escape to margaritaville

2. griffin absolutely destroying justin when he opens a can of pop

3. the slicer bartering moment in taz:b

4. any lucretia jokes in taz tbh (my fav is ‘she slaps you back and says ‘booyah’ this isnt exactly a bit but fishsjbsjs)

5. griffin ripping his sweater open for no reason during an episode

/send me top five + a subject

[arundolyn]

“I SLAP HER”

“she slaps you back. ‘booyah’” iconic

[rllysleepyy]

lucretia slapping magnus back when she was disoriented in the first lunar interlude (ep 17) is hilarious and iconic but also like....... you Know that’s happened before on the starblaster. “booyah” and all.