#she sees a lot of herself in that. in a less than good way sometimes

[marvelrivalsimagines]

A Blessing From the Gods

Characters: Hela, Moon Knight, Scarlet Witch, Winter soldier

Prompt: “could you do Moon knight, Bucky and any other character of your choice with another avatar of a Greek gods?” - anon request

Author’s note: I tried to keep which God you are the avatar of vague so you can imagine whatever kinds of powers/backstory you’d like. Also I’m not sure if the requester wanted the HCs to be romantic or platonic but I think these can be read either way. 

Warnings: None!

When Hela sees you for the first time she is immediately intrigued by your presence, for better or worse. She can tell that you are definitely no god yourself, yet she can sense that you have brushed with divinity frequently. She has had brief, and awkward, conversations with Moon Knight about his connection to Khonsu so she realizes that you must also be an avatar. But an avatar of which god? As much as Hela likes to pretend she’s all knowing and above childish emotions like curiosity, she can’t satiate her burning desire to know more until she finally talks to you for herself. 

Hela approaches you with her usual confident smirk and a snide comment about how there appears to be “yet another mortal avatar running about”. As you share your first conversation Hela's face is stoic as she bluntly asks you her burning questions, but if you are observant enough you can see an amused look in her eye. Hela is pleasantly surprised, you are far more interesting to her than Khonsu’s little knight. 

As Hela learns more about your relationship with your god she says she finds herself even more thankful for her dominion over death, preferring to rely on her legions of Hel to do her bidding over having some weak and fickle human. A lot of your conversations have this same energy lol. It sometimes feels like the goddess looks down on you, but it’s undeniable that she enjoys your presence simply because she keeps coming back to you.

A lot of the other heroes think that Hela has it out for you with how much she picks on you. It isn’t common for Hela to have good intentions for anybody outside of herself, not even her own brothers. But with all the time you’re starting to spend with the goddess of death, you’re able to pick up on the subtle tone of affection in her voice when she speaks to you. Even if her words are just as demeaning as what she would say to others. 

If you have a more adversarial relationship with your God, Hela is always eager to listen to your complaints and she always takes your side on arguments. Hela doesn’t have many good relationships with the other gods but she likes you, so as far as she’s concerned you’re always right. Hela also loves stirring the pot between other gods, so sometimes she’ll give you less violent ways to get back at your god. For example, she’ll tell you stories of something embarrassing that happened to your god centuries ago and then tell you to bring it up to your god whenever they start to bother you.

To be completely honest, the Moon Knight system doesn’t pay you much mind when you first join the fight for the multiverse. The Fist of Khonshu is here to carry out his god’s will so his senses are focused on the mission at hand, not necessarily the people around him. Marc knows you’re there as he’s cautiously aware of all the people around him, but it’s the old bird who brings his attention to you. Khonshu, with his knowledge of the other gods and their avatars, recognizes you and then proceeds to yap about your god in Marc’s head for 5 minutes straight. 

How your first interaction with Moon Knight goes depends a lot on what Khonshu has to say about your god. If he speaks positively about your god then Marc is definitely curious about what kind of a person you are. Khonshu historically hasn’t played well with the other gods, so Marc can’t help but wonder what kind of deity you’re wrapped up with if Khonshu can get along with them. If Khonshu doesn’t like your god then Marc may be pressured by Khonshu to confront you in an attempt to settle some 2,000 year old beef between gods. I’ll pray for you if that’s the case 

But whether your first encounter is out of Marc’s own curiosity or because of Khonshu’s petty drama, as the two of you inevitably talk Moon Knight feels a small connection starting to grow with you. Marc’s connection to Khonshu has always seemingly alienated him from the other heroes who think he’s plain crazy, but as a fellow avatar you’re both able to share some of your experiences with each other. Whether your relationship with your own god is as turbulent as Marc’s or not, Marc feels a slight weight lifted off his shoulders as he’s able to speak with someone who can truly understand the pressure of constantly being beneath a god’s gaze. 

Marc doesn’t let many people into his life, but when people do get close to him the entire Moon Knight system becomes very protective over them. So if you have a bad relationship with your god, or really anything in your life starts to go south, Moon Knight’s first instinct is to seek out some sort of revenge for you. However it’s obviously not possible for him to go against a whole god on your behalf and that fact is really frustrating for Moon Knight. Be careful what you complain about around Moon Knight, he will throw hands for you at a moment's notice lol.

Wanda is unfortunately another one who doesn’t pay too much attention to the people around her, so she might not acknowledge you at first. She’s worried about preserving the very fabric that holds her reality together, so you’re gonna have to do something kind of eye-catching to initially get her attention lol. 

As one of the most powerful magic wielding beings and the Sorceress Supreme of her universe, one thing that will definitely make her interested in you is any magical abilities your god may have bestowed upon you. While Wanda is concentrating on controlling her own chaos magic on the battlefield, her mind is still able to recognize a kind of magic she has never seen before. Cue her now being mildly distracted as she low key tries to watch you and fight the enemy team at the same time. 

Instantly Wanda has a need to know everything about your abilities, and as soon as the battle is over she’s trying to speak to you. What kind of magic do you wield? How did you get these powers? Are you just a beginner at magic or can you show her some of your advanced spells? Honestly it might kind of feel like when you tell someone you have a skill, like drawing or speaking another language, and someone just immediately puts you on the spot and asks you to do it for them. It’s especially intimidating if you know that she’s the Sorceress Supreme of her universe, like how are you supposed to impress her lol? But don’t worry Wanda means well, she’s just very blunt and is curious about the different kinds of magic people have access to in these new universes <3

Wanda isn’t known for being very social, but whenever there is down time in between missions you two tend to seek each other out now. Whether it’s a conversation about your personal lives over some lunch, or the both of you focusing on honing your magic in complete silence, Wanda is so used to your presence that it starts to feel strange when you’re not around. In her universe she’s constantly holding reality together, constantly fighting off magical threats, constantly trying to gain more control over her powers. But here with you Wanda greatly enjoys feeling more like a ‘normal’ person. 

You know, if you’re having a problem with your god you’ve now got a whole Sorceress Supreme on your side, and Wanda isn’t afraid of talking back to gods and higher beings. In her timeline she is constantly trying to stop power hungry gods from collapsing her universe, so if you need someone to just casually intimidate your god into being a bit kinder to you, Wanda has more than enough experience to get the job done. She will ask to speak to the manager for you.

Everything that’s happened in the first few weeks of the time stream entanglement has become a blur for Bucky. Suddenly he’s in another dimension with a new (and tentacle-y?) metal arm and he’s fighting alongside other heroes from different dimensions for the fate of the universe. Alright, cool. This is fine. Before all of this mess started, meeting you and being told that you’re an avatar of a Greek god could have shocked Bucky, but now that fact somehow seems like the most normal thing he’s been told in his life. 

As you, Bucky, and the rest of your team head out on your mission Bucky has heard a little bit about your background from Steve, who gave him a brief on all of their strange new teammates. As you clash with the heroes on the other side of the fight Bucky finds his normally focused senses drifting to you. Divine powers tend to be pretty flashy, and a trained soldier like Bucky can immediately see how skilled you are at what you do. As Bucky gets caught off guard by a diving Psylocke, the flash of your abilities is a welcome sight as you help him fend her off. Your reward for helping Bucky? A gruff “Thanks”, before he hones in on another enemy. Isn’t he dreamy <3

After that fight you’ll most likely have to approach Bucky first. Bucky knows he should probably give you a proper thank you for your help, but unfortunately Hydra brainwashing will do a number on your social skills. When you check in on Bucky after the fight is over, you’ll find that he’s slightly more talkative than usual - really just towards you, Steve, or Clint though. He has a lot of questions he'd like to ask you, he’s not as familiar with all these gods and aliens as some of the other heroes are, but he also doesn’t want to accidentally offend you. Bucky knows that he certainly doesn’t have a happy or inspiring story behind how he got his powers, so he doesn’t want to accidentally be too invasive. 

As the two of you grow closer you notice that Bucky tends to stick by your side a lot, both in and out of combat. In combat, Bucky sticks by your side as he knows that he can rely on you if things get rough. He also wants to be there in case he needs to return the favor and help get a diver off of your back. But when you both are just relaxing in between missions, Bucky finds comfort in your presence. Consciously or subconsciously, Bucky knows that you’re a person he can let his guard down around, which isn't a very common experience for him. With everything that he’s been through in life, the fact that the former Winter Soldier trusts you means a lot. 

Bucky really empathizes with you if you have a bad relationship with the god you serve. He has a lot of experience with being used as a living weapon, being treated like your only worth is what you can do for the person giving you your orders. He can’t stand to see another person live that way, especially not when it’s you. Bucky knows that he can’t go up against a god, and he knows enough about these kinds of power dynamics to understand that trying to stand up for you might actually make your situation worse. So Bucky commits himself to supporting you in whatever way you ask him to.

[ohmybueckers]

Never Strangers: Chapter Three

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: binge drinking, I think that’s it???

Authors Note: heyyyyy guys. Sorry this chapter took a hot second to come out and sorry it’s a lot more filler than other chapters - a LOT more was supposed to happen in this one, but I realized I could cut them into two and get this one posted faster. Which means 1. chapter four will come out a lot quicker than this one did and 2. it will be a lot more exciting than this one (based on the ending you can see why). anyways xoxo enjoy!

“No fucking way!”

Brooke braced herself on our kitchen counter, examined my phone like she had never seen one before. I was very aware of the fact my behead was still intact and I hadn’t even washed my face this morning, but I knew Brooke would classify this as an emergency that needed attending to ASAP.

“There’s no way,” I groan, wondering how my mission of avoiding Paige and all feelings associated with her at all cost had blown up in my face less than twenty four hours after getting here. “How does she even know?”

Brooke looked equally puzzled, her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowing before her posture straightened comically fast like a puppet. She shouted, “Adria!”

I was still confused, now even more so. “What?”

“Her story from last night must have gotten to KK, which somehow made it to Paige.”

In recent years I have become what my friends have lovingly referred to as “chronically offline” - it had to have at least been 2 days since I had opened Instagram, and I certainly didn’t follow the younger girl last night. Safe to say I had zero clue what she was referring to. “What story?”

Brooke grabbed her phone from the kitchen countertop, typing quickly before shoving her phone back in my face. Sure enough, Brooke and I were the stars of the story, both holding our glasses and wearing big smiles (certainly a symptom of the cheap wine). How Adria managed to find my account to tag me, I was not sure. All I knew is that Paige most likely saw it, and that a shameful part of me was at least a little happy that I looked good in the photo.

There was certainly no erasing Paige’s memory, so this text was mine to tackle. “Alright, how do I even respond to this?”

From the way Brooke looked at me, you would think I just suggested transferring again. “Respond? You’re kidding, right?”

I shrug, not exactly enthused by the idea of interacting with Paige on my first full day, but not enjoying the alternative either. “I mean, she knows now. It’s kinda rude to not say anything, isn’t it?”

“What’s rude is talking to a girl as if she’s your girlfriend, treating her like your girlfriend, and then disappearing out of nowhere and lying to her about it. You know exactly why she’s trying to hit you up again,” Brooke grabs my shoulder with care, a gesture I leaned into, “If she thinks you’re easy enough to let her in again, you gotta show her she’s dead wrong.”

My mind felt like it was destroying itself trying to figure out the truth. Part of me wanted to listen to Brooke, who had never once led me astray in her advice and had enough experience with fuck boys to know how they tick - even if the fuckboy in question was actually a girl. Everything she was saying matched the image I had built up about Paige in my head for years. 

Once my heartbreak molded into anger, it became a hell of a lot easier to get over Paige, at least enough to date other people at Minnesota. Anger became comfortable for me - except the occasional nights I spent alone in my dorm, looking back at old photos I couldn’t bring myself to delete permanently from my ICloud. Nights where I wondered if I actually had it all wrong, and if somehow I let myself get too comfortable hating Paige to consider any alternative to what was my truth. Was it pathetic to hold on to a grudge from over three years ago? I really didn’t know sometimes. 

I shut my phone off, reassuring Brooke that I was not going to fall back into Paige, which she seemed to accept fairly easily. Brooke ultimately just wants what’s best for me, and the last thing I wanted was for her to spend her last year at UConn worried about me. She had the LSAT to focus on, not my situation with my ex.

Which is why I conveniently forgot to inform her when I decided to respond to Paige that night, waiting until the sun had set and nearly twenty four hours had passed before sending a simple “yes”, throwing my phone on my bed and taking a long shower before I could decide I made a grave mistake. 

���——-

The first day of classes came quick, which I was thankful for - there’s only so much time a girl can spend in her poorly air conditioned apartment, and it’s not like Storrs had that much going on when school was not in session. What I was not thankful for was my packed Monday schedule, starting with an 8am economics lecture that I wouldn’t have taken if it wasn’t the last one available to satisfy a requirement, and ending with general chemistry (again, would not take if I didn’t need to squeeze a science credit in). 

If my 3 alarms weren’t enough to wake me up, I could rely on the sun blazing through my apartment at 5:30AM. After making a mental note to finally order some curtains, my full morning routine commenced, the one I saved for special occasions (or for when I simply could not fall back asleep): 20 minutes of pilates, followed by a citrus scented shower, a full makeup routine, and styling my nearly black hair in loose curls. 

By 7:30 I was ready to begin my walk to the business school, smoothing out my floral sundress and hoping it would instill some confidence in me. I would probably lean back into wearing jeans within the next week, but I still had some belief in my mom’s insistence that dressing well on any first day or impression mattered. I guess it did make me feel pretty, in a “belongs more on a Hollister catalogue than a college campus” kinda way. The dress did not fix the way my my first day nerves seemed to wreak havoc on my body, causing me to barely shove a protein bar down my throat before my body decided that was all the breakfast it could handle.

If I were still in Minnesota, my walk to classes would have been a whole lot louder. It was not often I had a commute where I didn’t curse the incompetence of Minnesota drivers. This was not the case in Storrs, partially because there were no drivers. Aside from the shuttle that passed me as I turned onto Alumni Drive, the only sound to accompany me was Beyoncé serenading me through my headphones. While Minnesota was simply a college with a large city unrelated to it, it was evident that Storrs would be almost nonexistent without UConn - if Minnesota was a city school, this felt almost like summer camp in comparison.

 I didn’t know exactly what to make of it yet, but I promised myself I would keep an open mind. I had to. There was no turning back now. 

———-

The day ended up being just as exhausting as I anticipated, potentially even more so. I’m used to liking first days. The idea of a new start each semester usually feels exciting, but this time I may have bit off more than I can chew. Syllabus week at Minnesota was a breeze, my calendar filled with classes where we just went over standard course expectations followed by frat parties I pretended to have interest in. The second my economics professor began lecturing after covering the syllabus for a measly 10 minutes, I knew he did not roll that way.

I genuinely have no idea how I made it through my high school schedule every day: multiple AP classes, followed by an afternoon job tutoring middle schoolers, with mock trial practice shortly after. It’s a miracle I found time to actually have a social life. Clearly my stamina had depleted severely, as by the time I stepped into my history discussion (seriously, who holds discussion when there isn’t anything to discuss yet), I had already made an emergency stop for coffee and was contemplating whether it was possible to take a nap in my thirty minute passing period before my chemistry lecture.

I made quick stop in the bathroom to fix my mascara and ensure the concealer under my eyes wasn’t crumbling (it was). Leave it to a hot September day and a bathroom with yellow tinted lighting to deplete my confidence: my once voluminous curls fell flat to my face, frizz accumulating at the roots. My concealer which had been matched to fit my warm skin tone now made me appear sallow, and my eyes were not fooling anyone - I was truly, undoubtedly tired. Not much I could do at this point other than use a generous amount of travel size dry shampoo, wipe the remnants of my mascara from under my eyes, and hope that the lighting in my discussion wasn’t as harsh.

I stepped into the classroom and was quickly overwhelmed by the size of it - not because it was too big, but because it was intimately tiny. I had been comfortable in my two previous classes, the large lecture halls allowing me to fade a little into anonymity - just another body struggling to stay awake as my professor explains the importance of studying economic law in the most monotonous tone possible. Looking at the long fake wood table and the twelve chairs, four of which were filled, I realized my streak of avoiding introductions had ended. 

After a quick scan, I chose to set my stuff down next to the person who scared me the least: a tall girl with pin straight long black hair, dressed in black baggy cargo pants and an oversized SZA shirt, complete with silver rings on her fingers which were currently in use scrolling her laptop. I offered a customary closed mouth smile as I sat down and set my book bag down on the table. 

There was a short pause where the only sound to hit my ears was the hum of the far too harsh overhead lighting as I took out my laptop, before I heard a deep voice ask, “long day, huh?”

As I turned to face the girl and processed her statement, it was evident that my attempt at looking put together was no longer working, especially now that the humidity had done a number on my hair. To be fair, I did feel like I was about to crash. “Tell me about it,” I replied, face flushed. I began to wonder if I should have sat next to the frat boy who was scrolling on UConn’s barstool account instead.

Maybe she took pity on how embarrassed I looked, because the smirk was erased from her tanned face and was replaced by a look of sympathy. “Hey, I don’t blame you. My 8AM econ lecture was brutal.”

The gears turned in my brain before I realized just what she had said. “Wait, which econ class?” After the taller girl recited a number from the schedule on her lock screen, I grinned. “We’re in the same lecture!”

“I cannot believe he would teach that much content on the first day.” She rolled her brown eyes, “Ok, let me guess. History and economics classes, leather planner… you’re pre-law, aren’t you?”

I mean, she technically wasn’t completely wrong. “Yes?”

“Then why haven’t I seen you try out for mock trial?” She asked, a perfectly shaped brow raised high and the Colgate smile smirk returning to her face. Her voice was low and teasing - definitely the flirty personality type. I could recognize it all too well.

Not wanting to explain my long and complicated history with the organization, I settled for the easy answer. “I just transferred here.”

“Well, we’ll be at the org fair if you want to sign up for a tryout spot,” She smiled, “Just tell them that Alex sent you.”

“Going to take a wild guess here and assume you’re Alex,” I quipped, though I will admit the effort did bring a small smile to my face. “I’m Maya.”

“See! I can already tell you’re clever enough for us,” Alex joked, a ring clad hand bracing her head on the table as she stared at me. I noticed the way she scanned me, her eyes falling down to the v neck of my dress before tracing back up to my smile. I suddenly felt the need to smooth out the bottom of my dress against my legs, my hands feeling very sweaty. 

 Before I could respond, the TA announced the start of the period, and both of our heads turned to the front. The rest of discussion was spent typing notes on when my paper was due and what constitutes academic dishonesty, all while trying to ignore the way the girl next to me kept shooting looks my way.

————

The one benefit of my packed Monday/Wednesday schedule was that my weekend was essentially four days long. I had two classes on Thursday, both criminally early, but it meant that I was done by noon and ready to enjoy a few days with nothing on my agenda… at least once I finished all of my assignments my professors had mercilessly assigned on the first week. 

A groan left my lips for what had to have been the third time in ten minutes as my eyes squinted to make out my general chemistry textbook. I had read the same paragraph around 5 times now, and each time I seemed to understand it less. Even though Adria invited me to study with her on the patio of her favorite coffee shop, I was sure she was about to tell me to leave. “I don’t know how I did AP Chem in high school, this is like a whole other language to me now.”

Adria laughed, looking up from her organic chemistry book (the contents of which I’m pretty sure would give me an aneurysm). “Not a STEM girl?”

“Definitely not a STEM girl,” I shook my head, unsure why the version of me who picked her schedule over the summer decided taking a notorious weed out course was a great idea. Taking a quick sip of my matcha, I added, “But I don’t know if I’m necessarily a law girl either. Been a real pain trying to figure it all out.”

“You will, I promise. Besides, I can always tutor you,” Adria reassured me softly, a gesture that would be a lot sweeter if there wasn’t a tiny voice in the back of my head nagging me for needing a pep talk from someone so much younger than me. If Adria can have everything figured out, why can’t I? “Enjoying UConn so far though?”

“Yeah, it’s been okay! I’ve met some nice people in my classes,” I think about how Alex quickly spotted me yesterday morning in lecture and gestured to have me sit with her and her mock trial friends. Turns out sitting through an 8AM lecture on law and economics was a lot easier when you had a friend next to you. “I think Brooke wants to go to bars this weekend though, and I just know the lines are going to be awful.”

Adria lit up at this. “There’s a party being thrown by members of the mens basketball team tomorrow - someone basically rented out Huskies. I got access to one over the summer and it was a ton of fun - you should come!” 

My mouth opened, trying to form a response. On one hand, it’s not like I had any concrete plans yet, and staying in on the first weekend after classes just felt wrong. But the words basketball rung in my ears like an unwelcome echo. Brooke’s warning that Paige was everywhere on campus rung true already, already overhearing her name in conversations more times than I could count. Seeing her and possibly talking to her? That was a whole other ball game, one that I weren’t sure I was ready to play. It wasn’t even necessarily that I wasn’t over her yet, but rather that we hadn’t spoken beyond a couple of short text exchanges in years (the most recent of which Paige hadn’t even responded to). Running into her was bound to be awkward, and I was determined to avoid the discomfort.

“Oh Adria, I don’t know…”

Adria cut me off, her voice insistent and almost desperate. “Please come. Brooke usually ends up leaving with some guy and I don’t want to be alone. All of my other friends can’t come, they have to be dry for sorority rush.”

I scoffed, though there’s no bite as I joke, “So you’re saying I’m your last option?”

“I’m saying I saved the best for last,” Adria gave a sheepish shrug. “If it helps change your mind at all, the women’s team won’t be there. KK said they were all going to Ted’s.”

I knew that there was no point of basing my choices at UConn based on whether or not I could run into Paige, but I would be lying if I said the reassurance wasn’t helpful. “I guess I could be convinced.” 

Adria clapped, her smile big enough that agreeing already felt like the correct decision. “You won’t regret it, I promise. Pregame at yours?”

————

If there’s one thing I learned after two years going to college in the midwest, it’s how to throw a damn good pregame.

I felt the bass of my music from my JBL speaker course through my body as I set a shot glass back down on the faux granite countertop, wincing as the cheap tequila flowed down my throat. Brooke, Adria, and Brooke’s friend Marley stared at me, a mix of both amazement and slight concern on their face. On nights out, I have been known to pregame heavy, especially nights where I don’t know most people there. For one, it means I spend less money, plus it gives me some much needed extroversion to make it through the night. 

“Damn girl, I did not know you could drink like that,” Brooke whistled, sipping on her High Noon tenderly. Her and Marley had other plans for the night, some frat event. Brooke claimed the only reason she would be caught dead at a frat as a senior is because Marley’s boyfriend was the president and so they got special treatment, but I had my suspicions she might have a frat crush of her own. 

I felt the buzz as the four of us left our apartment, Adria and I running to catch our bus in order to avoid the thirty minute walk. In my alcohol induced giddiness, I noted how the sky faded from a bright blue into a mosaic of purples, pinks and yellows as the sun set over the lush trees. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adria’s phone face me as I gripped the pole, looking out the window of our bus with the amazement of a kid in a candy store. I had spent the past week unsure of what to make of Storrs, but it felt almost romanticized in this moment.

Unfortunately, the picturesque moment did not carry into Huskies, an establishment that was far more of a restaurant than a true bar. A tennis game played over the TV, paired with the speakers blasting Drake as we were surrounded by a sea of girls with bleach and tones and Princess Polly crop tops. The basketball players seemed almost allergic to mingling with their invitees: aside from one or two attempting to chat up one of the girls, they all stood at their own table sipping beers and looking like they would rather be anywhere else. 

Adria ordered us drinks as I snagged us a table. Soon enough we stood side by side, sipping on Captain Morgan and Coke and a tequila sunrise respectively, unsure of what to make of what we were seeing. “It was a lot more exciting over the summer, I swear,” Adria looked apologetic, “Maybe it’s just one of those things where we have to get drunker?”

I was making a mental note to take two Tylenol before bed for the sake of my tomorrow morning self when a man’s voice emerged from the crowd. 

“Adria, you made it!” A pale man with floppy brown hair and impossibly long legs emerged, grin on his face as he wrapped Adria in a side hug. She returned the hug and the smile while brushing a braid away from her face, though hers seemed more forced. She finally pulled away when he began rubbing her arm, her face lighting up upon making eye contact with me.

“This is my friend Maya, she just transferred here.”

He grinned, reaching a hand out to shake hers with a firm grip. “Hey, I’m Noah. You made a good choice!” 

“He plays for the team, I think he might be a bit biased,” Adria remarks, earning her a shocked look from her friend who quickly turned his attention away from me and onto her.

“Me and some of the guys were going to play some darts, you wanna be my partner? I’m sure we can find a partner for Maya as well,” Noah gestures to me without turning his head, as though I am an afterthought. While it’s not like I’m dying to play drinking games with a group of NBA hopefuls, it wouldn’t hurt to at least act like I’m there.

Adria clearly did not want to play as well, as she stuttered out some half-assed excuse. “I think we’ll stay here! Don’t want to risk, um, losing this table.”

Losing this table? Looks like I also needed to make a note to teach Adria how to lie. It was beyond obvious that Noah wasn’t buying it, but I guess  he was choosing not to be confrontational. With a cough, he replied. “Right, um, well I’ll catch up with you later tonight then!”

The second he was well out of earshot (not that far, considering the volume they were playing Passionfruit at), my interrogation began. “Who was that?”

Adria looked down at her drink, looking uncharacteristically unconfident. “That was my in to this bar. We met over the summer.”

I nodded, watching as Noah stopped to chat with a mix of guys and girls under the flashing blue and pink lights. “Well I’m pretty sure he wants to get with you.”

“Oh trust me, he’s tried.” Adria deadpanned, evoking a laugh from my glossed lips. “He’s still a good guy, and I like being his friend. But I’m not into him like that.”

“Is it KK?”

Adria bit her bottom lip, and for a moment I feared I had gone too far, like we weren’t quite at the point in our friendship where that wouldn’t be a sensitive subject. I was ready to retract my question when she spoke softly. “We’re not exclusive… at least I don’t think so. I haven’t been with anyone else, but who knows if she has.”

Man, Adria really liked this girl. Some part of me was thankful to give some advice to her for once, although it’s not like my history gives me the authority to give relationship advice. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head, her eyes wide. “I’m way too scared to hear the answer.”

I felt a pang in my chest, relating to that feeling all too well. I’ve always had a tendency to protect my peace too hard, avoid asking questions to escape conflict - through the years, I’ve discovered it almost never ends well. “But do you think you might be hurting yourself more by not knowing?”

Adria took a pause, staring off as Noah and his friends began frat flicking to some song that did not warrant that at all. “I am not drunk enough to think about that right now.” 

We both laughed, silently agreeing to down the remainder of our drinks at the same time. The ice had melted well with the remainder of my sunrise, dulling the burn of the tequila. This was probably a good thing - I’m pretty sure my tolerance was lowered over the summer, because I felt my body get warmer than anticipated despite the air conditioning working overtime. Adria set her drink down on the table, turning to me once more. From the glint in her eye, I knew she was about to return my line of questioning. “What about you? Are you looking to get set up, because I’m sure that’s the reason those guys invited all of us here in the first place.” 

“First of all, I’m gay,” I began, examining the crowd in front of me. “I’ve been here like a week, haven’t really had the time to think about hooking up with anyone.”

“Well, what’s your type?”

I thought for a moment about my (limited) history. “Tall, athletic, nice eyes…”

“Paige.”

I rolled my eyes, though I would be lying if I said the blonde was not included in my thought process. “I mean it, I’m done with her.”

“No, no. Paige. Right over there.”

It felt like my heart plummeted to my ass, the effects of the alcohol consumed unable to keep me cold as a chill rushed through me. Before my brain could tell me not to look, my head snapped to the front. Two girls now stood at the front of the bar, talking to the male players. One girls laugh cut through the crowd, and I saw a small smile erupt in Adria. That must be KK. The girl next to her, hands shoved in the pockets of her cargo pants, didn’t even need to say or do anything. I could tell Paige Bueckers from any crowd.  

---

taglist (open!): @paiges-1vur @unadulteratedcyclepaper

[folansstuff]

Considering the way that she got her new outfit in Vita Ayala's New Mutants is kind of a Sailor Moon/Magi(k)cal (hah) girl send up, I could totally imagine Illyana getting super into Sailor Moon as a young girl. Seeing girls around her age with similar magical powers without the associated trauma could give her a way to ignore her problems for a little while, and imagine herself in the role of Usagi, fighting evil with her friends (Kitty and the New Mutants) and a cute animal sidekick (Lockheed) without any of the pesky Limbo stuff. And even into her twenties she watches every reboot and does an annual rewatch of the original, which would influence how she manifested her new uniform.

It's also very cute to imagine her buying merch and trying to hide that she likes the traditionally 'girly' show from her friends and family, but she has the whole manga print run on a bookshelf somewhere.

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[the-dalseum-duet]

satis writing an ACTUALLY CANON SCENE??

OH GOD!! what has gotten into her?? (hint: it starts with an “A” and ends with a “merican politics”)

anyway. i’ve wanted to write this scene for a while but finding the right words to do it is very difficult. it’s kind of awkward but. y’know what. it’s okay it gets the idea out there. it’s ok for art to be messy and not perfect. a byproduct of the lore overhaul, please enjoy a glimpse into Dalseum’s history and a tiny exploration into Noeul’s thought process (with even more in the tags bc I love talking abt him. fascinating fascinating man)

“THIS is your man?” tag @svwhssftr (directed at kai) (sorry to flashbang you w political commentary after talking abt sex for like a day straight)

In the blink of an eye, it all went dark. The flashing cameras, the smug glances sharper than knives the Council shot into the crowd, the glitter of the afternoon sun on The Palace’s floors— all of it. It was reduced to nothing but cold, damp darkness. 

The safety of the quiet was unnerving. Charlie’s mind clawed at the imaginary walls to escape into the dazzling ocean of the paparazzi, but her body remained idle. Her body instinctively leaned in closer to Noeul. 

He lit a match from inside his coat’s pocket—illuminating what may have been a teardrop on his cheek— and flicked it into some long and hollow metal contraption. It caught the insides and exploded into a river of crackling blue flames, revealing a mossy labyrinth of walls and chambers. It was all so empty, except for the smell of burning oil.

“There’s a lot of history in here,” Noeul whispered, removing his coat to crouch beside the aqueduct of stagnant oil. 

Charlie didn’t say a word. Her eyes were transfixed on the blurry mass of granite awaiting her. 

“We were Korean territory until the Silla dynasty. Most of the peninsula was unified under their rule, so Dalseum was naturally the next step. The warriors from the mainland tried to overtake us, but we slaughtered them. They underestimated us.”

“The hell does that have to do with this?” Charlie choked. 

“Dalseum was under the rule of its only empress in history. Her army commanded such respect that the Korean warriors fled after the first battle, and then Dalseum was forgotten to time. After the unification, they had more pressing issues than a small island with few resources.”

Charlie looked back at him, her infuriated eyes glinting in the firelight. 

“But the Dalseum government couldn’t have predicted their cowardice. They constructed a hideout underground in case of an emergency. The layout makes no sense because it’s meant to be a maze. If the officials themselves could barely figure it out, then their enemies had no chance.”

“But why are we here?” 

“You know how the Japanese imperialists occupied Korea during World War II?”

“Uh-huh.”

“A small Imperialist faction conquered Dalseum shortly before the war ended. Our bohemian government was unprepared for violent military conflict, so it crumbled. They turned our history into prison cells. The Japanese locked away everyone who dared to resist them—members of my own family, especially. These walls have seen torture you can’t even imagine.”

“You’re saying this is my prison now?”

“Welcome home, doll.” Noeul almost smiled. The fire, despite being feet away, burned Charlie’s face. 

“After the war ended, the Japanese soldiers returned home. They behaved like monsters, but they were humans with families and children. What was left of the original local government was in shambles, and my great-great-grandfather took advantage of the ruins. These halls haven’t been used as a prison ever since. We haven’t needed to use them.”

“I don’t understand, then. Why are you keeping me here?” 

“Because otherwise you’d be dead, Charlie.” Noeul shakily breathed. “If some force threatens Dalseum, it’s our right to kill it in the name of self-defense. My ancestors single-handedly poisoned dozens of the Japanese invaders. Dalseum wouldn’t exist without us. I have every right to exert my power on someone like you. I’m only showing you mercy because I love you.”

“But you love your tradition built upon oppression more.”

“Oppression?” Noeul laughed. “My family freed our people.”

“But they destroyed the old government— the one that persisted for centuries.”

“The values on which Dalseum was built were no longer effective. The feeble monarchy was nothing but show businesses, anyway. If we want to stay afloat, we can’t risk losing what we have to the uninformed decisions of an outsider. We nearly lost everything to a fascist regime— I can’t let history repeat itself.”

You’re no better than them if you imprison those who disagree with you, Charlie thought, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. The walls of firearms lining Noeul’s walls flashed in her head.

“Surely, you understand my reasoning.” Noeul brushed a stray curl out of her quivering eyes.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t imprison me,” Charlie laughed. She had to laugh— she’d kill him if she didn’t. 

“If you loved me, then you wouldn’t have broken the one fucking law you had to follow.”

“I don’t love you,” Charlie said. “Not anymore, at least, but that should have no bearing on my freedom. On my existence.”

“I don’t care how you feel about me,” Noeul lied. “You sowed discourse in the Council—the one thing left of my father’s administration after he died— you deliberately cheated on me with another Council official, and you tried to start some petty little uprising once you started to face the consequences. You brought this all upon yourself.” 

“I didn’t try to start shit!” Charlie exclaimed, “I spoke out about Dalseum’s ridiculous policies and your treatment of me. You slept with the person who tried to assassinate me while we were still engaged, Noeul! I had no control over how people responded to the truth.”

“You knew exactly what you were doing. Our relationship issues should have no bearing on Dalseum’s politics.”

“It impacts all of Dalseum’s politics! We could have done so much—“

“There was never a ‘we.’ Sara put these delusions of grandeur in your head, and you believed her. I never once implied that you would have any power on the Council.”

“I was supposed to marry you,” Charlie started, her vocal cords tightening as she held back tears. “We were supposed to be equals. I left my whole family because I loved you. You were a good person, Noel. Why the hell do you refuse to change your ways?”

“Because ‘my ways’ have saved lives for generations.”

“But you know that everything you’re doing is wrong. You knew that sleeping with Sonnet was wrong, you knew that leaving your responsibilities to Sara and Gale was wrong, and you knew that doing this to me was wrong. Why the hell do you keep doing this? You’re not Noel anymore—you’re some heartless idiot who only cares about what some filthy rich people think about you.”

“I keep doing this because the safety of a nation and the tradition of my family is more important than my love life. That’s common fucking sense.” 

“This is so much more than your love life,” Charlie snapped. “I wanted to help you. I would have been a good empress. I shared my ideas with the Council— the Council loved me, Noel. Why can I not fit into your traditions?”

“Because you’re everything they stand against! You’re everything my family fought to destroy!”

“What? What do they stand against? Helping the people in the Wasteland? Loosening the borders for people who are trapped here?”

“It was never about any of that. Charlie, you know that.” 

“No, I don’t!” Charlie cried. “I don’t understand why fleeing a country that no longer values me is treasonous! I don’t want to spend my entire life down here, Noel, you know that! It’ll kill me.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before trying to undo the progress of my country. You have no fucking stake in this, Blaire. Dalseum is my responsibility, and I’ll be damned before I let some inbred whore think she knows better than me.” 

Charlie inhaled. “Then let me go.”

“What?”

“If I’m nothing more than some Dixie dumbass to you, let me go home. I’m only wasting your resources down here.” 

“Because you agreed to this. You have to face the consequences of your actions. What did I tell you before you stepped foot here? No one comes in—“

“No one gets out,” they said in unison, Charlie’s tense shoulders dropping. 

“Someday, I’ll let you go— but you’re a danger to Dalseum, the Council, and yourself.” Noeul turned to the exit, the clicking of his pristine heels echoing in the endless nothingness. 

“So are you,” Charlie replied. “The only difference between us is your family name. It’s a real shame— it should have been ours.” 

Noeul didn’t respond. He hung his head for a minute and fumbled with a key attached to a chain in his pocket. 

“Is it true?” he whispered. “What you said during the trial?”

“No,” Charlie admitted. “I made it up as a last-ditch effort. Thank God, I’m not. I couldn’t carry a Sang in good conscience.” 

“You’ve proven my point,” Noeul said, almost grinning. “I can’t have a liar on the Council. I can’t trust a word you say, Blaire.” 

“That damn Council is built on lies, and you know that.” 

“It sure as hell isn’t built on women like you.” Noeul rammed the key into its slot and pried the stone wall open. “I always knew you’d amount to nothing more than your body. You almost had me fooled, but I’m glad I chose Chea over you—carrying on my bloodline would have been all you were good for.”

“Good luck getting Chea to do that for you.”

“I don’t need luck. I have someone with half a brain to replace you.” 

Charlie couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Like I said, good luck with them.” 

“You’ve always been a bitch.” Noeul wedged his foot through the hidden door and disappeared into the bright, blinding Palace halls she once called home.

But not before she managed to scream, “Watch for the hemlock! You’re all next!”

[cherryxbooo]

You’re my ideal type

Summary: A video from a year ago of Oscar talking about his ideal type went viral, making his fans wonder why he chose his girlfriend. This leaves y/n with a lot of questions herself.

Note: First time writing for Oscar! I kinda went with the flow. Let me know what you think! 😌

Reader x Oscar Piastri

Genre: fluff/angst

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Monaco. I was out with two of my friends, enjoying brunch together and soaking up the good vibes.

We spent hours talking, laughing, and joking around—overall, it was a fantastic time.

Afterward, we decided to go for a stroll. That’s when we stumbled upon a gorgeous spot with an incredible view. For girls, that can only mean one thing: a photo session. And, of course, we took full advantage.

We snapped countless pictures of each other—exactly what I needed. I’d been wanting to update my Instagram feed, and I knew Oscar would appreciate a few of these too. A win-win situation if you ask me.

Hours later, we decided to head home. Parting ways was bittersweet, but we all had things to do.

When I finally arrived at the place Oscar and I shared, I immediately went inside, feeling my social battery completely drained.

I glanced at the clock and sighed. There were still a few hours to go before Oscar would be home. Feeling a little bored, I decided to tackle some household chores to pass the time.

Eventually, I finished everything and switched to full-on "bed rotting" mode. As I scrolled mindlessly on my phone, I remembered the stunning photos we’d taken earlier.

Sitting up, I started going through them, carefully picking out the best ones to upload to Instagram.

yourusername posted on Instagram!

Liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbffuser and others

yourusername Days like these ☀️💐

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oscarpiastri Pretties girl ❤️ by author

alexandrasaintmleux Gorgeous ❣️

yourusername Says you 💋

f1_dailylvr81 She's so girly coded love it 💅

fashionistaformula I can't be the only one thinking about that one interview of Oscar?

paistryln481 You're not alone, every time I see her I keep thinking about it

foryoutt16 Wait what? I'm lost, what happened?

cocosainzyy55 @foryoutt16 An old interview of Oscar when he was still in F2 resurfaced and he was talking about his ideal type and the description he gave matches nothing to his current girlfriend. People are suddenly bringing this up again, wondering why he didn't choose his ideal type.

foryoutt16 Oh damn that's rough...

The comments and likes flooded in, as they always did. Sometimes, I forgot that I was dating an F1 driver—it came with its own kind of spotlight.

But as I scrolled through the comments under my post, a few things caught my attention.

One comment in particular stood out: something about an old interview of Oscar.

Confused and curious, I decided to look it up. Little did I know, I was about to regret it...

My stomach twisted into knots as I watched the video, realization sinking in. Oscar described his ideal woman, and her characteristics were unlike ones I possessed. I felt a wave of insecurities and doubts wash over me, each word a reminder of how I didn't fit the bill for his ideal partner.

My heart sank with every word he spoke, describing his ideal woman's qualities - and every one felt like another reminder of how far off the mark I was.

I couldn't help but wonder, "Why did he choose me?" His words stung, and I questioned whether he settled for less than his ideal because he didn't have better options.

On cue, as if the universe was playing a cruel joke, Oscar returned home and called out my name. His voice echoed through the hallway, a stark contrast to the turmoil churning inside me. I hesitated, a mix of fear and confusion gripping me, as I debated whether to face him with this newfound knowledge.

He entered the room with a warm smile, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. He greeted me with a gentle kiss on the forehead before starting to speak in sweet words.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" he asked, completely unaware of the recent discovery I made.

I forced a smile, trying to hide the turmoil inside as I replied, "It was fine," my voice trying to mask the disappointment and insecurity that bubbled up.

The words left my lips, sounding hollow compared to the usual warmth in my tone.

Oscar sensed the hint of falsity in my fake smile. His observant nature picked up on the subtle cues of my distress, and he recognized that something was off. Yet, instead of immediately asking about it, he chose to hold off, observing to see if I would bring it up.

Oscar wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. He kissed my temple gently, his touch providing a temporary sense of comfort.

He knew something was bothering me and chose not to press, offering a moment of respite instead. "Do you want takeout?" he asked, his voice filled with tenderness.

I replied softly, trying to match his tenderness, "Sounds good." Despite my conflicting emotions, I didn't want to dampen the mood by revealing my insecurities.

"Takeout sounds great," I said, attempting to sound cheerful.

Oscar reluctantly let go of me, reaching for the phone to place the takeout order. In his absence, I seized the opportunity to sneak a look in the mirror, as well as to search for pictures of Oscar's ideal type.

I scoured the internet, comparing every aspect of my appearance to the images of his ideal woman. The comparison fueled my insecurities, amplifying the feeling of not measuring up.

My tears threatened to spill as I stood there, comparing myself to Oscar's ideal, but before they could, I heard Oscar's voice calling out.

"Y/n baby, the food will be here in twenty minutes," he informed me. I swiftly wiped away the tears before responding, attempting to hide the vulnerability in my voice, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Splashing my face with water to compose myself, hoping to hide any traces of my tears and distress. With determination, I dried my face and returned to the room where Oscar was, trying to mask my vulnerability.

After the food came, we ate together. I was quiet, it was mainly Oscar talking which was odd because normally it was always me talking and he would listen. We were currently cuddled up together after eating

Despite our cozy cuddle on the couch, my mind was preoccupied with worries. Thoughts like "What if he leaves me?" and "What if I'm not good enough?" consumed me.

Oscar noticed my distraction and asked if I was alright, concern in his voice. I replied, "Just tired," and although he didn't fully believe it, he decided not to push further.

Oscar spoke up once more, his voice soft and reassuring. "Y/n?" he began, his eyes searching mine.

"You know I love you, right? If there's anything bothering you, you know you can tell me," he emphasized, his tone filled with patience and support.

I nodded, attempting to hide the depth of my worries and insecurities. "Yeah, I know. I love you too," I responded, trying to sound reassuring.

The words felt heavy, knowing the weight of my unspoken fears.

A few weeks had passed since that moment of insecurity, and I had been avoiding Oscar, even though we lived together. I had made excuses to skip every Grand Prix , claiming I was too busy with work.

Yet, here I was, facing the mirror on the morning of a home race, feeling utterly unprepared. The interview weighed heavily on my mind, and I wasn't in the right state to face it.

Standing in front of my reflection, I looked at myself, thoughts of my inadequacy resurfacing.

Oscar entered the room, his gaze settling on me. He positioned himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my head.

His presence brought both comfort and nerves as I stood in front of the mirror, still grappling with my insecurities.

He spoke softly, his compliment genuine and sweet. "I didn't know it was possible to be this pretty. You look amazing love," he murmured, his voice filled with affection.

I stepped away from him, the compliment not offering the comfort it usually would. My actions were distant, as if I was subconsciously putting up a barrier.

"Thanks," I responded distantly, my tone devoid of the warmth that usually accompanied my words.

The fear of his departure and my sense of inadequacy still lingered in my heart, casting a shadow over the moment.

Oscar seemed puzzled by my distant behavior, his confusion evident. Seeing right through my attempt to avoid him, he asked gently,

"Baby, did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?"

His voice was tinged with concern, his eyes filled with hurt at my distance.

I quickly responded, trying to change the subject. "No, you did nothing wrong. Uhm, shouldn't you leave for the race?"

Oscar looked at me, his gaze lingering on me before reluctantly letting it go.

"Wait, weren't you coming with me?" he questioned, his tone hinting at his confusion.

I responded with a slightly busted attitude, "Oh, uhm, I'm not done getting ready yet. I'll come later, though."

It was a lie, and Oscar seemed to sense that something was off.

Despite the passing time, he decided to focus on his own preparations while stealing a moment to kiss my forehead before leaving.

I took a moment to muster my courage, realizing that Oscar didn't deserve being pushed away because of my insecurities.

With a deep breath, I prepared myself to face the day and attend the race, pushing through the weight of my doubts.

As the hours flew by, I found myself standing in the garage, watching from afar, torn between my worries and the desire to support him.

After awhile I decided to go to the restroom since I still had some time before the race started.

As I was walking, I heard voices behind me, and my name being mentioned caught my attention.

I stopped to listen—not that I meant to eavesdrop, but hearing my name made it impossible not to.

From what I could tell, these girls were likely McLaren fangirls. Well duh after all, they were dressed in papaya colors.

Girl 1: "It's crazy that Oscar is still dating y/n. She doesn't even fit his ideal type."

Girl 2: "I know, right? Like, she's not even close."

Girl 3: "Yeah, he must be leading her on or something."

Girl 4: "Or maybe she's in it for the fame and money."

Girl 5: "Oh, definitely. There's no other reason she would be with him."

The girls' laughter echoed in my ears, each comment like a punch to my heart.

Girl 2: "Seriously, you'd think he could do better than her."

Girl 1: "Yeah, she's not even that attractive compared to the other girls he's dated before."

Girl 3: "I bet he'll realize soon that he could get someone way better."

Girl 4: "Well, if the fame and money aren't enough, then he's definitely settling."

I couldn't bear to listen any longer, my tears streaming as I fled to the restroom, seeking solace to hide my distress.

Time slipped away as I stayed there, isolated, wrestling with my tormenting thoughts and self-doubts.

Meanwhile, the McLaren garage buzzed with pre-race energy, but Oscar couldn’t focus. His eyes darted around the paddock, scanning for any sign of you.

Anxiety churned in his gut as he spotted his teammate leaning casually against a workbench.

“Lando!” Oscar called, walking over briskly.

Lando glanced up, eyebrows raised. “What’s up, mate?”

Oscar hesitated before blurting out, “Have you seen Y/N anywhere?”

Lando frowned, clearly puzzled. “No, mate, haven’t seen her. Matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her around for the last few races. Is everything okay?”

Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, mate. She’s been so distant lately, and I have no idea what I’ve done to upset her.”

Lando’s expression softened, a mix of pity and thoughtfulness. “Could it maybe have to do with that video that went viral again?”

Oscar blinked, confused. “What video? That old F2 interview of mine? That was years ago! I was just joking in most of it anyway.”

Lando shrugged, giving him a pointed look. “Mate, you might want to check the comments under her recent Instagram post. I think that’s your answer.”

With a sympathetic pat on the back, Lando turned and walked off, leaving Oscar alone with his thoughts.

He pulled out his phone, his fingers quickly navigating to your profile. The comments under your latest post hit him like a brick.

“Oh no,” Oscar muttered, his stomach sinking. “No wonder she’s been distant…”

He mentally kicked himself, remembering that dumb interview where he’d been too cocky for his own good.

“I didn’t even mean half the stuff I said,” he whispered to himself, cringing at the memory.

Before he could search for you and explain himself, a crew member called his name, dragging him toward the car for pre-race preparations.

“Great timing,” he muttered under his breath. But he made a promise to himself: as soon as this race was over, he’d find you and make things right.

Meanwhile, back to you, the restroom break had taken longer than expected. The initial plan to kill time before the race started had backfired; now, a dull ache was forming in my head, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease creeping up on me.

I leaned against the sink for a moment, taking a deep breath. “This is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself, but the discomfort wasn’t going away.

Deciding it was best not to push myself, I pulled out my phone and quickly typed a message to Oscar:

Not feeling great. Heading back home. Don’t worry about me.

I hesitated before hitting send. He’d probably be confused or even concerned, but the last thing I wanted was to worry him.

With a sigh, I hit send and slipped my phone back into my bag.

As I stepped out of the restroom and headed for the exit, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

On the way, I also let Oscar's manager know I left, just in case he didn't check his phone.

I knew Oscar would notice my absence, but today, it felt easier to retreat than to stay and face everything swirling in my mind.

Little did I know, Oscar was already worrying.

The race had ended, with Oscar clinching a solid P4, just behind Lando. Though pleased with his result, his mind was elsewhere.

He wanted nothing more than to see you, to feel your arms around him, and hear you tell him how proud you were—just like old times.

But as he scanned the crowd, his hope began to waver. You weren’t there.

His manager noticed Oscar’s distracted gaze and approached him. “Looking for Y/N?” the manager asked gently.

“She left you a message. Said she wasn’t feeling well and headed home.”

Oscar’s jaw tightened, his heart sinking. You hadn’t told him the truth.

A mix of frustration and hurt bubbled to the surface. Without a word, he decided to skip the team celebrations and headed straight home.

When Oscar arrived, he didn’t waste a second. Dropping his bag by the door, he called out loudly—his voice sharper than usual.

“Y/N!”

You were downstairs in no time, a soft smile on your face.

“Oh, hey, Osc! You’re back early. How was the race?” I asked sweetly, trying to act normal.

But Oscar wasn’t having it. His expression was hard as he stared at you.

“You would’ve known if you didn’t leave,” he said, his voice laced with frustration.

Guilt washed over me, and you stammered, “I’m sorry, Osc. I wasn’t feeling well—”

“Cut the crap, Y/N!” he interrupted, startling you. His voice was raised, something he rarely did.

“When are you going to finally admit the real reason you’ve been like this? Tell me! I’m sick of it!”

I flinched but couldn’t blame him. He deserved an explanation. At the same time, I’d had enough, too. My emotions spilled out, my voice breaking.

“How would you feel if people kept telling you that your partner is too good for you? That you’re not good enough, that you’re too ugly, not their type, only with them for the money?!”

Tears streamed down my face as you continued.

“And yes, it’s about that stupid interview of yours! I can’t help it, okay? Call me dumb, call me a crybaby, but this is too much!”

By now, I was full-on sobbing, unable to meet his gaze. But before I could crumble further, I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me close.

His voice was soft now, gentle. “Why didn’t you tell me, baby? I could’ve helped. We’re a team, remember?”

I sniffled, my voice trembling as I replied, “Those were your words, Oscar. I can’t take them back or change them.”

He sighed, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. “Babe, that interview was years ago. I was joking around the entire time. If you’d watched the whole thing, you’d see that.”

I shook my head, unsure, but he leaned back just enough to look at me.

“Since when is my favorite color pink?” he teased, a small laugh escaping him.

Despite yourself, you let out a small laugh, too.

“That's better,” he said, smiling.

“Listen to me. Everything I said in that interview wasn’t true. I was 18, tired, and didn’t even want to be there. I was just trolling to get it over with.”

I laughed again at his confession, finally meeting his eyes.

“There’s that pretty smile,” he said, his tone softer now. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but next time, talk to me, okay?”

I nodded, wiping your tears. “I will. I’m sorry for doubting you… for pushing you away.”

He smiled warmly, leaning in to peck your lips a few times.

“It’s okay, love. I get why you did it. But don’t you ever doubt yourself again, yeah? You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. If anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. How did I get so lucky, huh?”

He cupped your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek before pulling you into a long, passionate kiss. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.

“Don’t you ever doubt yourself,” he whispered. “You’re my ideal type. Always.”

I laughed softly. “Alright, alright, I get it.”

Suddenly, Oscar scooped me up into his arms, bridal style, making me squeal.

“Osc! What the hell are you doing? Put me down!”

He grinned, shaking his head as he headed toward the bedroom.

“Nope. Let me show my gorgeous girl how much I love her.”

And let’s just say, the night ended perfectly. From that moment on, I never doubted his love for me ever again.

oscarpiastri posted on Instagram!

Liked by landonorris, yourusername and others

oscarpiastri An amazing race to finish off the week. A big thank you to the entire team and the fans. Also a big thank you to my beautiful girlfriend for being the best support.

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yourusername So so proud of you Osc!!! Love you! 🩷

oscarpiastri Love you too pretty!

landonorris Well done mate 🙌 extra support is always great!

oscarpiastri Thanks man! You're right especially if she's just my type 😉

yourusername 🤭 ❤️ by author

lalalandnorris4you Oscar really gagged all of you haters purr 💅

frvrformulaonestan1 This is the cutest thing ever brb I'm going to cry 🥹

notyourfan481 Bro Oscar you don't have to lie we all know this ain't you

osclvy/n Girl stfu he isn't going to notice you ffs 🙄

lovelypeachlan4 You thought you did sum? Get out 👉🚪

yourusername posted on Instagram!

Liked by oscarpiastri, yourbffuser, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yourusername A little recap of last week 🤍

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yourbffuser Looking like a snack 😋😍🥵

yourusername Love ya 💋🫦

oscarpiastri Gorgeous 😍

yourusername Love youu Osc 🥰

alexandrasaintmleux So so so pretty 😘

yourusername Says you beautiful 😉💕

lv4motorsports81 She's so pretty omd

manyyynorriz She's gorgeous, don't know what people were on about 🤨

banananorrispiastry81 🤢

nothingthelessnorris4 And you did this for what ☠️

piastrybakerlvr Move on he isn't going to notice you 🥱

lvlynorrisss4 Yet your comment didn't make any change to this world... Grow up 🤦‍♀️

The end

[jq37]

Aelwyn is sixteen and preparing for midterms at Hudol. Uniform pressed and starched, head full of incantations and spell components. She doesn't mean to bump into Adaine and get orange juice all over her shirt but today isn't the day she's going to start showing weakness.

"You know, you really should watch we're you're going," she says archly, playing off the clumsy mistake as a purposeful jab.

Playing it off a bit too well because, the next thing she knows, Adaine is flipping her off and a bolt of queasy looking, green energy is coming towards her. Ray of Sickness. And she can't spare the spell slot for Counterspell because she needs it for her exams.

"You little bitch!" Aelwyn says once she's emptied the contents of her stomach down the front of her shirt.

"Good luck with your exams," Adaine says sweetly.

Aelwyn is eighteen and the oldest, mangiest cat she's ever seen in her life has just vomited on her shoes.

"My," she says, casting a shield spell around her ankles to stop the cat from clawing at them. "You weren't kidding. He is a little bastard, isn't he?"

The shelter volunteer looks mortified. "Oh, gods! I am so sorry. I tried to warn you--I mean, not that I'm blaming you but--"

"No, it's alright. I did ask you to show me stragglers."

The shelter worker gestures to another pen on the other side of the room. "I can show you the kittens we just got in or there are some very well behaved older cats as well if you'd--"

But Aelwyn cuts her off, scooping up the old cat--though she holds him at arm's length for now, just to be safe. "No need. I haven't changed my mind. I'll take this one." She looks at the tag on his collar. "Hector."

Aelwyn is three and, as of a month ago, no longer the youngest Abernant.

She's had baby dolls in the past but never a baby sister and this is exciting new territory. She's full of questions. When is she going to be able to walk? When is she going to be able to talk? When will she be old enough to have lembas bread instead of formula?

Her parents seem less fascinated by the new addition to the family than she is but her mother is amused when she slaps away the hand of a colleague of her father's who tried to touch Adaine before sanitizing his hands, standing between the much larger man and her sister.

"So defensive. Perhaps she'll be an abjurer."

When Aelwyn asks what that is, her mother says that it's a kind of magical protector and she likes that a lot. That sounds like a good thing to be.

At night, Adaine cries. Except, she doesn't hear it because the mobile above her crib is etched with runes that cast the Silence spell.

"But what if she gets hurt?" Aelwyn asks.

Her father brushes her off. That's what the Unseen Servants are for. But she thinks that's what an abjurer might be for too and even though she isn't one yet, that doesn't mean she can't start practicing.

So, every night, Aelwyn waits until her parents have put Adaine down for bed and then tiptoes into her room. She checks to see if Adaine is silently wailing and if she is (and even sometimes if she isn't) she presses her face between the bars of the crib and sticks her little hand over Adaine's face.

"Don't cry," she says, even though the Silence spell mutes her words as completely as the tears. "Mum said I'm an abjurer. Nothing will get you. Don't cry, baby."

Adaine grabs her hand with impressive grip strength for something so small and, within a few minutes, she's trancing peacefully.

Aelwyn is seventeen and her sister is off to save the world again. This time from a Night Yorb--whatever that is.

It feels cruel that Adaine should have to go risk her life again so soon after she just almost died--not almost died, she did die before being raised by her cleric.

She wants to come with, to help in some way. Surely she could be helpful--last quest they brought Gilear for Helio's sake!

But Adaine doesn't ask her and she can't bring herself to say the words she needs to have the conversation she wants. So, instead, she lightly whaps Adaine on the shoulder with her spellbook as she's packing for the quest.

"I know you haven't done much studying lately what with your grades being based on how many hobgoblins you kill or whatever ridiculous system Aguefort has cooked up," Adaine rolls her eyes at that, "But if you don't mind a little cram session before you leave tomorrow, I can show you how to cast Teleport like I said. Might help you stay a touch less dead on your quest."

Her tone is light but her eyes betray her: Please, please, please don't die again.

Adaine's expression softens but then she scoffs, playing her half of their game. "I don't know what a Hudol dropout who's been in jail for the past year is gonna teach me but do your best."

Aelwyn is seven and her father is cross with her.

"Really Aelwyn," he says and even though they're talking via crystal she can feel the frost of his glare. "You thought it was appropriate to call me at work for no good reason? How many times have I told you and your sister to not bother me while I'm working."

She hates the word bother. She doesn't want to be a bother. She tries very hard not to be. Maybe she just didn't explain herself well enough.

"I know, father. But Addy got really scared and panicky on the playground. She was breathing really hard and--"

Her father makes a noise of disgust. "I don't have time for this. She is in primary school now. Stop coddling her. And her name is Adaine, not Addy. Please speak properly. I'm raising you better than that."

He hangs up before she can say anything else.

Aelwyn is eighteen and most of the claw marks on her arms have healed, which is nice. On her lap asleep is Hector who has apparently decided he likes her enough to use her as a radiator but not enough to submit to medical treatment without using her arms as a scratching post.

"You little heat vampire," she says as she slides her thumb across the screen of her crystal, searching for a video that will help her out. Eventually she finds one that looks promising and she calls it up.

On the screen, a halfling is standing next to a cat who is actively shredding her sweater with its claws. "You're going to be tempted to use some kind of a shield spell when applying the ointment," says the halfling. "But cats can smell abjuration magic and they don't love it. You won't get close enough to do the job. Isn't that right my darling?"

In response, her cat hacks up a hairball.

"Darling indeed," she says under her breath.

But even laced with sarcasm, the word is sweeter against her tongue than she anticipated.

She sinks her hand into Hector's fur and scratches his back for a few moments before tentatively speaking aloud. "Sleeping well, my darling?"

Hector says nothing--he's asleep and a cat. But warmth blooms in Aelwyn's chest--more than enough to make up for what Hector is leeching from her.

Aelwyn is seventeen and her father has just given her the most horrible command she's ever received in her life--and she's counting being made to sink a ship full of people in that calculation.

She knows her father doesn't expect her to delicately extricate the knowledge he needs from Adaine's mind. He expects her to get it at all costs. To ransack and pillage the memories if necessary with no heed of the consequences on her psyche. He'd probably prefer it that way--the more broken Adaine is, the easier it will be to mold her into a version of herself that is more useful to him.

Aelwyn is usually a smooth talker and a convincing liar but now, she stumbles all over her words, babbling out a stream of deflections and pleas as her heart squeezes tighter and tighter in her chest until she can't hold back the truth that she's been suppressing for years anymore.

"Adaine's just…she's a baby."

Aelwyn is eighteen and her apartment is full of cats.

She's always thought that the phrase, "One thing led to another" was a bit of a cop out--clearly there were key steps between point A and point B being glossed over--but in this case, there is truly no better way for her to articulate how she went from zero cats to ten cats in such a short amount of time.

She's sure that if she was still living with Jawbone, he'd have something to say about it but that's exactly why she isn't currently living with Jawbone.

She portions out food for all of the cats, saving Hector for last because he likes to eat curled up next to her.

"My darling baby boy," she says, lifting him onto the couch with her because the jump up is a bit much for him and his old bones. She kisses him on the top of the head and then pulls out her crystal. She scrolls mindlessly for a bit before checking her messages despite the fact that there's conspicuously no notifications.

Not that she has many people to expect texts from but she hasn't heard from Adaine in a few weeks and it's unsettling. When they weren't getting along, they were still living under the same roof. She was able to keep tabs on her, more or less. Now, they're closer than they've been in ages but barely talking.

I'm the older sister, I suppose, Aelwyn thinks. I should take the initiative.

She pets Hector with one hand and drafts a message with another: Are you alive, bitch?

She's about to press send but then she frowns and deletes the draft. After a few moments of thought, she taps out a new message: Can't believe I'm gonna say this. Miss my little sister. Everything all right?

Aelwyn is seventeen--though she doesn't feel like it.

Her mind is telling her that she's sixteen and that she was just been broken out of a jail cell in Solace but Adaine is telling her that she's just been broken out of an entirely different prison after being tortured for months even though she doesn't remember any of that.

But her body feels frail and Adaine says she's been in her mind which means she must have used the hard reset.

She's suddenly feeling very vulnerable--not because of the disorientation or the of the levels of exhaustion she can feel weighing on her like leaden chains. No, it's because of the fact that Adaine using the reset means that she must have read the treacle-y note that she left there for her to find.

It was just an insurance policy, she tells herself. There was wisdom to buttering up your savior to make sure she'd do what you needed her to do.

She manages to mostly believe it. But the small, truthful part of herself that knows how deeply she meant the words is so uncomfortable that she antagonizes Adaine until she's annoyed enough to hit her with a spell, sending her into blissful unconsciousness.

Aelwyn is nineteen and she's going to kill her mother.

Well, not alone of course. Adaine deserves the kill at least as much as she does if not more. It'll be a group effort.

It's a strange mix--the cold fury at her mother mixed with the warmth she feels for her sister, sitting across the table from her. She summons a flame to her palm, a preview of what their mother has waiting for her. She watches Adaine's eyes harden with resolve and she sees the face of her baby sister, left to wail alone silently for hours, soothed by her presence. "Let's get her."

"Yes, my dear," she says, the endearment coming freely as if this has always been their dynamic. "We'll get her."

But there will be time for that later. Right now, it's time for ice cream and seeing Adaine so content in such a simple pleasure causes the warmth in her to surge so suddenly that it would be startling if it wasn't so pleasant. The urge to voice it is so powerful that she doesn't know that would have been able to stop it at any point in life, let alone now.

"I hope we get to eat ice cream and cast magic forever," she says, words that would have been impossible for her to say one short year ago and impossible not to say now.

And, to her delight, Adaine agrees.

[the-thing-withfeathers]

for the better

a/n: this is part 2 to know your worth. i’m sorry this took a bit of time but i just wanted to get some requests done before fully getting into this buttt i hope y’all like it.

read part 1!

this one is for @dandelions4us specifically 🫵🏼🫵🏼

pairing: billie eilish x reader

warning: bold-italics are flashbacks. ex-toxic relationship, mention of therapy, toxic coping mechanisms, trauma.

summary: billie tumbles while you thrive. can you manage to find each other again through this all?

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

tick, tock. tick, tock. tick, tock.

the dreadful noise of the second hand going on a full rotation was filling billie’s ears. she was overwhelmed and she didn’t want to be here.

“you mentioned last time that you had a partner…” the woman sat on a leather chair started. she was older and was graying, she wore glasses that were too small for her face. “a partner that you had let down.”

“yeah… i really fucked up there.” billie chuckled dryly. “i was horrible during the end of that relationship. it was amazing at first but after touring, i… i became horrible.”

“why do you think you became horrible?” the woman asked.

billie didn’t want to start therapy but her brother had convinced her to do it. she hated talking things out with a total stranger. but she knew she had to take a step towards getting better one way or another.

“i… i don’t know.” billie sighed in defeat.

“do you think it had something to do with your job?” the woman asked again. this was getting ridiculous. billie felt like the woman knew all the answers but was just trying to get billie to say them, she felt like she was back in school.

“maybe?” billie asked herself. “i think when i got back from touring, i realised how serious things were getting— not just with my relationship but with everything around me. i think i just wanted to be less serious? but i didn’t go about it very well. i royally fucked up. i should have been honest— i think things would have gone so much better.”

“it seems like you have a pretty good idea about what you need to work on.” the woman pointed out, impressed. “it was a lot better than our past sessions where you were lost. it seems like you’re starting to get a better grip on yourself.” she nodded in approval.

“i dunno, i think the break i took from working has been really good to me.” billie smiled a bit, she had decided to stop making music for the time being. it wasn’t forever but it was just to give her time to recover.

“do you want to get back together?” the therapist asked, tilting her head.

“yes. more than anything.” billie nodded. “i miss the love that i used to come home to everyday.”

“you could always call.” the therapist suggested.

“i don’t think i’d get an answer.” she huffed.

“you never know if you don’t try.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

that’s how billie ended up at a cafe with her leg shaking under the table, waiting for you.

she hasn’t seen you in months. she heard about you from her friends, she tried not to ask but sometimes it would slip out. your friends reluctantly answered out of pity.

you walked into the cafe. her jaw nearly dropped at the sight of you. a smile tugged at her lips. you had cut your hair and your fashion sense had changed, you cleaned up well.

your eyes scanned the room for billie, a small smile forming when you saw her. she looked almost the same, except she dyed her hair.

you were hesitant to come today, but you had done enough self-growth that you were confident enough to face her again.

you made a beeline for her table, sitting down across from her.

billie thought she knew what to say but she was mesmerised by you. you looked good and healthy, and even more beautiful than she anticipated. she wasn’t prepared to have her breath taken away by you.

“hey.” you said, settling down and flashing a smile at her.

“hi.” she responded, clearing her throat.

“um… hey.” you chuckled, raising your eyebrows. “it’s good to see you.”

“yeah, you look good.” she said as the waiter brought her order over. you ordered something for yourself as well while she was there.

the way your eyes twinkled when talking to someone else, that was never there before. you were always more introverted but suddenly it was like you had all the confidence in the world.

she fell in love with you all over again.

you turned back to look at her after ordering, crossing your legs one over the other. you smiled at the look on her face.

“you look surprised.” you pointed out.

“i mean… a little? you’ve changed… in a good way.” she said, sipping at her coffee. “you seem… um… more—“

“out there?” you completed her thought. “well, yes. i kind of put myself to the test. i finally used my savings to travel over the past few months. i kind of had to fend for myself— that involved putting myself out there.” you explained what you had been up to. “all those work hours finally did me good.”

“that’s… that’s really nice.” she said, staring at her coffee on the table. “where did you go?”

“german, greece, rome—“

“rome? you’ve always wanted to go.”

“mmhm. and i finally did. and i finished up my trip in london. i saw some of our friends that we made when i visited you on tour.” you said, scooting over to make room for the waitress putting your order down.

“that’s good, i know they would have been glad to see you.”

you let silence fall over the table for a second as you took a bite of the biscuit at the side of your plate.

“why’d you call?” you asked, cutting to the chase. you thought that there was no point in the small talk when there was clearly something looming over billie.

“oh!” she didn’t expect you to ask so quickly.

“sorry, it just seems like there’s something you’re wanting to say.”

“yeah… i’m uh, i’m in therapy.” she said, leaning back in her seat. “and i just… we’ve been working on how i can explain myself to you. i feel like you deserve that.”

“i would be lying if i said i wasn’t curious, billie. about our relationship ending…” you said, sighing. “feels like i never got closure.”

“that’s fair! and i guess that’s what i wanted to give you.” she said. “i don’t know why i did what i did exactly, because i could have handled it so much better.”

you nodded in anticipation.

“i felt old.” billie sighed out.

you almost let out a laugh but instead let out a stifled chuckle.

“old?”

“old… yeah, it sounds so silly.”

“billie, you’re not even 25.” you scoffed a little bit in disbelief.

“i know! which is why it’s silly.” she said, a little bit defeated. “it was all too much for me when tour ended. i realised how much i had missed with everyone back home. everyone was going to parties and i was stuck working in the studio all the time. i think our relationship took the brunt of it, it was all getting so serious so i took it out on you.”

you furrowed your eyebrows. “serious?”

“yeah… i used to think our relationship getting more serious and committed meant i had to settle down and grow up. i wasn’t ready for that. but i realised i was wrong. our relationship was my safe place to land, coming home to you was the best part of my day.”

“i didn’t realise you felt that way. i wish you told me.” you huffed a little, crossing your arms. “i would have helped you… whatever it took.”

“i know, and that’s why i regret it so much.”

“i kept replaying that fight in my head when it was all so fresh… i just felt like i was fighting with a stranger.” you felt your heart ache upon reliving those memories. “i had some hope that maybe you’d come to your senses that day, that maybe me saying something would be enough for you.”

“i’m sorry that i didn’t. i was so stupid—“

“the worst part is that i never fell out of love with you for a second.” you confessed.

“what?” she asked, making sure she heard you right.

“i tried. i tried to hate you… believe me, i did. but i couldn’t.” you shook your head, finishing your coffee off.

“could we ever try again?” billie popped the question. she didn’t know what answer to expect from you. sure, you still loved her, but could you put yourself in that position again?

“i don’t know.” you said, truthfully. “it’s taking everything in me not to say yes, but i don’t know if i can do that to myself again. i think i’ve come too far.”

“then let me catch up to you.”

there she was. your billie.

you couldn’t hold back a laugh when you heard her say that.

“oh, billie. it’s good to have you back. it’s for the better.” you sighed through the smile that was plastered on your face. “well, how about this then?”

you took her phone that was sitting down on the table. she had reached out through a mutual friend but you didn’t have any other contact information.

“i’ll give you my number.”

thump. thump. thump

billie could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.

“i’ll give you my number.” you said. billie had just met you that night but she was captivated by you.

you had gotten a job working tech at her release party. she saw you backstage and couldn’t take her eyes off you for a second. the way you tried to make sure that everything was perfect for her.

you were a face in the background and yet you were at the forefront of her mind the entire night.

“and you can call me and tell me where to be.”

“and you can call me and tell me where to be.” you giggled, teasing her a little bit. you found it amusing that one of the biggest figures in the world was chasing after you after the show.

she was panting a little bit, she definitely ran after you. her hands were on her knees for just a second while she introduced herself, trying to catch her breath.

you were on your way to your car, your bag already on your shoulder. she couldn’t let you leave without shooting her shot.

you handed her phone back to her.

you handed her phone back to her. she took it back in her hand and immediately pressed dial, you were still in front of her.

she pressed dial.

you rolled your eyes and picked up the phone, holding it up to your ear.

“tomorrow. dinner… at my place?” she said with a cheeky smile on her face.

“tomorrow. dinner… at my place?”

“sure. i’ll be there.”

“sure. i’ll be there.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

a/n: heyyy y’all i hope the switching between flashbacks & current time wasn’t too confusing. but i hope u enjoyed part 2 <33 much love mwah mwah

[sevikasragdoll]

SEVIKA NSFW ALPHABET

pairings: dom!sevika x fem!reader

warnings, nsfw, sex positions, sex toys, use of straps, pussy eating, overstimulation, spanking, pussy slapping.

A = aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

very attentive and sweet with you. if she had gone particularly rough on you (that usually involving a lot of spanking and many rounds) she would kiss you softly and soothe your ass with the careful strokes of her hand, asking you questions like: “are you okay, baby?” “do you need water?” “where does it hurt, princess?”. even if you two had engaged in gentle sex, she would still clean you up and press kisses all over your body and give you praise. her baby has to be well taken care of.

B = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and of yours):

her favourite body part on herself would be her muscles, she takes a lot of pride in them. i mean… of course she does. MUSCLE MOMMY. she likes it when you pay attention to her muscles, touching and grabbing them.

on your body, her favourite part would be your tits. she loves to touch them, squeeze them, kiss them, mark them up with love bites. she also loves to watch them bounce up and down when you ride her strap… :)

C = cum (just anything to do with cum):

she loves the sight and sounds when you cum for her. whether it’s on her fingers, face, abs, thigh, or tongue… she does not care, she loves it.

D = dirty secret (it’s in the name, a dirty secret they have.)

when you and her first met, she would go to the brothel and pretend that the girls she’d fuck were you.

E = experienced (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

oh… THIS WOMAN KNOWS WHERE IT’S AT.

she has a lot of experience considering she’s in her late thirties-forty years old. also, she has been to brothels a lot throughout the years. and you can bet that she knows her way around a woman’s body. it was easy for her to find out all of the things that get you going and she uses that knowledge to her advantage every time.

F = favourite position:

missionary or you riding her.

she loves missionary usually when it’s the sweet and gentle sex, loving the way your facial expressions contort into pure pleasure with the strap inside of you, the way your lips part as you let out soft moans for her. her hands will roam all over your body, squeezing your tits or thighs, stroking hair away from your face. another reason she enjoys that position is because she can kiss you, whether that be your lips, your forehead, your neck, or your tits. she’d definitely be calling you many pet names during this moment like: “baby.” “sweet girl.” “princess.” “good girl.”

when you’re riding her, she likes it to get a little rough… which is one of the reasons it’s her favourite. she will buck her hips up to make sure the strap is burying deep inside of you, her large hands will grab at your thighs and hips and ass, giving spanks and harsh grabs to your ass. another reason it is her favourite is because she gets to see the way your tits bounce up and down in rhythm with your body. “my little slut/whore.” may be used once or twice 🤭🤭

G = goofy (are they more serious during sex or are they more humorous?):

it depends on the situation for sevika. if it’s one of those nights where you two are engaging in rough sex then she has got that serious demeanour going.

but… if you two are having gentle sex then there will definitely be some smiles and maybe the odd soft laughter shared between the two of you. so not too goofy but… a little lighter.

H = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?):

this bitch has a bush and nobody can convince me otherwise. she may shave it sometimes when she can be bothered but even then it wouldn’t be much, not caring about it and neither do you.

as for the carpet matching the drapes then, yes! more or less. her bush is just a little darker than her brunette hair… but still a shade of brown.

I= intimacy (how are they during the moment romantically?):

intimacy is a must-have no matter what type of sex you two are having. even when she’s being rough with you, if she gets any inclination that you’re in actual pain, she will ask “am i hurting you, baby?” and if you response with a yes then she will stop what she’s doing and give you kisses and make you feel better.

obviously, during gentle sex there is lots, and i mean LOTS, of intimacy. sweet kisses and soft touches all over, calling you pet names and giving you praises.

J = jack off (does she masturbate? if so, how often?):

only does it sometimes when you’re not there and she’s feeling very horny. she’ll touch herself as she imagines the sounds of your moans and whimpers.

K = kink (one or more of their kinks):

spanking and bondage

she’s a freaky gal, what can i say?! She loves to see red handprint marks on your asscheeks, pounding into you with her strap with each smack. sometimes she’ll even smack your tits… and your pussy :)

with the bondage, she finds it such a turn on that you’re so desperate to touch her when you’re tied up, pulling at the ropes but you can’t set yourself free, the desperation in your face makes her wet AS FUCK.

L = location (fave place to do it.):

anywhere that’s inside the place where you two live. she doesn’t really like to do it anywhere else because then you’d have to be quiet and she LOVES hearing your moans. so inside the house it could be against the walls, on the couch, on the kitchen counter, in the bedroom, in the shower etc.

M = motivation (what gets them going/turns them on):

literally fucking everything. this bitch be so horny. the sight of you in shorts would even be enough to make her wet and needing to touch you. but… wearing her clothes definitely gets her going more than anything, even though she does want to rip that shirt off of you as soon as possible.

N = no’s (what they won’t do during sex):

she would not do anything that would bring you actual pain/you’d be uncomfortable with. and DEFINITELY no cnc play around here.

O = oral (do they prefer giving or receiving?):

prefers giving but is not against receiving on the odd occasion. she loves to hear you moan for her whilst her tongue feasts on your pussy, the way your hips squirm and fingers grasp at her hair or leave scratches on her shoulders. usually she likes to receive when she’s had a long day working and is too tired, always calling you a “good girl.” as you go down on her pussy.

P = pace (are they fast and rough? or slow and gentle?):

both!

it depends on what kind of day she’s had. if she’s stressed or angry about something, you bet you’re getting bent over, spanked, hair pulled, and her strap filing your pussy, also getting called “my little slut.”

although, if she’s had a particularly good day or she’s just feeling sweet then she would be slow and gentle with you, savouring your facial expressions and soft moans as she slides the strap in and out of your pussy, her hands caressing all over your body, being called thinks like “my princess.” “my good girl.” “pretty thing.”

Q = quickie (what are their opinions on quickies? how often?):

doesn’t partake in them often but will if she’s feeling really horny, or if you are as well. sometimes you’ll be sat on her lap whilst she gambles and you’d look at her a certain way, or fidget around in her lap, and she’d know what you want, taking you to the toilets and eating your pussy.

R = risk (do they like to experiment? does she like to take risks?):

she does like to experiment, putting you in plenty of different positions during sex to see how you’d look and how it would make you feel. however, taking risks aren’t really her thing as nobody else is allowed to see you in that vulnerable state but her.

S = stamina (how long do they last?):

OH. this woman could go on for the whole night if you’d let her, she only stops when you’ve had enough, which is usually after around four or five rounds… maybe more if you’re in the really desperate mood to please her.

T = toys (do they own any sex toys? do they use them on their partner? do they use them on themselves?):

DEFINITELY. she owns a few straps that are different lengths, as well as a two-sides one, and also a vibrator. she likes to tease you with the vibrator, keeping it on your pussy until you’re moaning loudly and about to cum and then she’ll take it off, finding your whines and pleas sexy, saying to you “awh. d’you want my strap, pretty girl?”. most of the time she will use the usual strap on you, liking to focus on your pleasure… but a woman’s also gotta have her pleasure so sometimes she will whip out the double-sided strap and both of you get to have some fun.

V = volume ( how loud are they? what sounds do they make?):

sevika usually just stuck to small gasps of breath and grunts but if some days you’re eating her pussy like a starved woman… she can’t help but let out a few very high pitched moans…

W = wild card (a random headcanon for the character.):

sometimes, when she’s just lounging around your guys’ place, she would wear the strap on beneath her clothes and see how long it takes for you to notice. she sees it as a game. and when you do notice, you’re in a for a loooong night…

X = x-ray (let’s take a look beneath those clothes…):

8 inch dark red strap… because she’s freakay like that!

for underwear, she wears boxers most of the time but sometimes she will slip on a lace black thong just to surprise you, and you love it every time. she doesn’t wear bra’s, not finding them comfortable so she lets them titties hang free. free the nips girl ✊🏻✊🏻

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

pretty damn high. what can i say? she’s obsessed with you, her pretty girl. she practically salivates at just the sight of you in those pretty little skirts or skimpy shorts, when you come out of the shower wet and in a towel, walking around in one of your robes. best bet you will be getting taken to bed straight away!

Z = zzz (how long does it take them to fall asleep afterwards?):

will always make sure that you’re asleep before her. she likes to cuddle you after the sexual acts and run her hands over the soft skin of your belly, thighs, arms, shoulders, tits. she’ll whisper things into your ear like: “you did so well, baby.” “you can go to sleep, i’m here.” “you’re my pretty girl.”. Her gentle whispers usually do the trick of getting you fast asleep.

[samkerrworshipper]

underneath the surface

umm so i’m back.. kind of? this fic was a rollercoaster but i hold it very near and dear to my heart. i hope you all enjoy it and find some comfort in it because i definitely do <3

warnings: no warnings just some medical jargon and talks of endometriosis!

Alexia has always been credited for her attentiveness.

Most people say that it’s the reason she’s such a good captain, and of course, she denies to everybody that she just goofs around less than some of her teammates.

But, inevitably, it’s true, Alexia is a lot more attentive than other people. She pays attention to the small things, the under the surface things, things that most people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at.

Although, in her opinion, she doesn’t need to be observant nor attentive to be curious about this one part of your relationship.

It doesn’t take brilliant observation skills to recognise a pattern, from the age of two most people are able to recognise patterns. For a two year old, it’s colours and shapes and different farm animals. For Alexia it’s become an observation.

It’s routine, a pattern, a constant repeat in your relationship that for the first few months she ignored.

Like a broken record constantly repeating itself, every month, without fail, you disappeared for a couple of nights.

Not literally, for those days you’ll retreat of the pitch and inside to the gym but Alexia still sees you everyday, and for the most part, you’ll still go out for coffee with her and go on walks together, but for at least three nights, sometimes up to 7, there are no sleepovers, no late night movie binges, no dinners.

It went unnoticed by Alexia for longer than normal, love was Alexia’s biggest weakness and it subtly impaired her abilities to be as observant as she prided herself.

Who could blame her? It was hard to be detail oriented when she was too busy enjoying the puppy dog love that came from realising that she was so in love with her life with you, even if it was still relatively new.

But, even with her focus partially impaired, it didn’t take a whole lot of skills to recognise the abnormality of what was occurring.

It was particularly abnormal, because for every other day of the month, you spent your nights at Alexia’s. Alexia would even go as far to say that you're pretty much moved into her apartment. Your dog had a bed in her apartment, your training kit and bag had a permanent spot at her door, most of your clothes were now sitting next to Alexia’s in her wardrobe.

Your apartment, for the most part, existed purely for the sake of storing all of your furniture. Alexia had brought up leasing it, you’d been dating for almost a year now and whilst it was a short time to move in with each other, the two of you spent so much time together that to her it made the most sense. Beyond that, it was her way of testing the water, to see if her observation was as real as she began to think it was.

Your immediate denial of the idea confirmed what she had been beginning to think.

Originally, she’d thought that maybe you were overwhelmed from constantly being around Alexia, it was a lot being at training together all day and then heading home to each other.

It didn't make sense though.

When you were together, you were attached at the hip. You were both naturally clingy towards each other and after questioning Mapi about it, as ambiguously as she could, she was backed up in that it wasn’t normal behaviour for an overwhelmed person to be so eager to be so connected.

So, the theory was canned and when the following month the same thing happened, Alexia’s curiosity peaked once again.

She moved onto a theory that maybe it was some kind of homesickness, that you just needed to sleep in your own bed a couple of nights every month.

But not only did you constantly complain about your own apartment and how unhomey it felt in comparison to Alexia’s, it was always the same week every month.

Which should have been the biggest clue, and yet for whatever reason it had completely slipped past Alexia.

It was only when one of the team doctors had approached Alexia about her cycle changing, that it all clicked for her.

Alexia’s period had skipped, and they’d logged it a couple of months ago. Obviously, without noticing, it had been because the two of you had synched up, which made plenty of sense.

Alexia’s period was an inconvenience, but it wasn’t a true bother, just something she had to put up with. In all honesties though, for her, her period was nothing to her, she had hardly any symptoms, her body functioned the exact same way, everything was almost the exact same.

Yet, every month, when apparently your period came around, you happened to disappear for a couple of days. Alexia would have loved to think it was a coincidence, but with her new knowledge, she decided to put it to test.

She wasn’t surprised, when the following month her own period came, a couple of days later you were back to hiding out at your place for a couple of nights.

Like lightwork, when you came back to Alexia, you were the exact same, like nothing had happened, and yet Alexia was certain that there was something being hidden underneath the surface.

A lot of people were insecure about their period, Alexia had grown up in a house full of girls, her period had been anything but stigmatised, and she was grateful for that.

She was self aware enough though to know that not everybody was fortunate enough to have that same experience. She was also aware that unfortunately, sometimes peoples partners could be unaccepting and close minded about those kinds of things.

So, when the following month, Alexia got her period and without fail, four days later you mentioned that you would drive yourself to training so that you could head back to your apartment afterwards, Alexia was already plotting away.

She had time to think about it during video review that day, there wasn’t a lot to focus on then when the team was coming off of a 4-0 win to Atletico and anything that was of importance, aAlexia had already noted when she’d watched the immediately after the game.

It was a sound plan in her mind, chocolate, a heat pack, your favourite italian takeaway, Alexia’s favourite hoodie that you always tried to steal and your favourite blanket from her apartment.

Alexia wanted you to know that you could be just as comfortable in her home, regardless of what was happening. Hopefully, in knowing that, you’d let go of the part of you that was so clearly avoiding Alexia.

Alexia, above being observant, liked to be a problem solver. She liked to take initiative, she liked to fix things.

So, after a shower and a quick snack when she’d returned home, she packed up all of the supplies. On the way to your apartment, which she hadn’t visited in months, she picked up food and then was on her way.

In the early months of your relationship, it had just been easier for the two of you to spend time at Alexia’s because it was closer to the training grounds and more lived in.

Whilst you’d been living in Barcelona now for nearly three years, your home was still in England, and it had been hard for you to fully settle into Barcelona even if it was your home for now.

Alexia knew it, so she’d welcomed you into her home with open arms. It had been heartwarming for her to slowly watch you integrate yourself into Alexia’s life, it made her happier then anything else.

So, she made her mind up that whatever this bump was, she was going to help you get over it, so that she could have all of you, and most importantly so you would feel like Alexia cared.

The feeling that Alexia got as she pulled up next to your car in the lot of your apartment was chilling, in her gut it felt like something was wrong. It was a feeling that set into Alexia's stomach as she stepped out of her car and hurried to collect her things before making her way over to the elevator.

Alexia stays as composed as she can manage, even though on the inside, the worry is starting to set in.

It’s not like theoretically she has anything to worry about, it’s not like this is an abnormal situation, but the weird feeling in Alexia’s stomach is putting her off and the only thing that she can think will make it better is seeing your face.

All Alexia wants to do is wrap you up in her arms for a moment, for her own peace of mind, to stop the off feeling that has been resonating inside of her as she’s tried to get to the bottom of this problem, that’s not really a problem. It’s an inconsistency, and one thing about Alexia is that she doesn’t like inconsistency. She fixes problems, she doesn’t enjoy living life whilst there is something that isn’t quite right, and she needs to make this right.

Alexia knocks at your door quietly, two little raps that she hopes you hear.

When she receives nothing in response, she knocks again, this time a little bit louder.

Alexia waits a few seconds, whilst it’s been a couple of hours since your session there is the off chance that you're in the shower or bath.

After quite a bit of waiting with no noises from the other side of the door, Alexia knocks once more, already pulling her keychain from her pocket and feeling for the spare key to your apartment.

When she finds it, she pulls it up to the lock, waiting just a few more seconds before slotting it into the keyhole and twisting it until it clicks.

The first thing Alexia notices is that your apartment is completely pitch black and if it weren’t for the fact that she saw your car earlier, she might have just left.

Alexia tiptoes her way through the entryway and into your kitchen, it’s hard to see much with all of the blinds pulled shut and none of the lights on, so she blindly feels around for the light switch until she finally finds it and flicks it.

The immediate groan that comes from the direction of your couch definitely does not go unnoticed by Alexia.

“Lights off.”

As fast as she can, Alexia turns the light back off, before curiously tiptoeing over to the edge of your couch.

You’re a lump under a pile of blankets, but she’s able to make out the shape of your body underneath it.

“Hey baby.”

You groan again, and the feeling in Alexia’s stomach only gets worse.

Alexia takes a few steps forwards, assessing you in front of her.

Her hand reaches out tentatively for you, she feels around the mass of blankets until she feels a part of your body underneath the pile of fluff, she follows the lump until she makes her way up to your head.

Your whole body is warm, or the blankets are warm, she isn’t actually quite sure where the blankets end and your body starts.

“Why are you here?”

Your voice is all croaky, and Alexia is certain you must be sick and she’s somehow missed all the symptoms of it.

“I wanted to spend the night with you.”

Alexia’s hand finally finds a bit of skin on your neck and she traces her fingers until she finds your jawline.

“Go home, Ale.”

The sound of your voice is making Alexia antsy, she can’t believe she’s missed the fact that you are sick.

“No, bebita, you’re sick and I’m here to look after you. I have your favourite food and chocolate, we can cuddle up in bed and you can sleep this off. I brought my hoodie for you.”

Alexia turns your head up, so your hair is peaking out of the blanket mound and she can see your squinted eyes.

“I’m not sick, Alexia.”

You keep your eyes crammed shut for the sake of not making the pounding headache you have any worse.

“Bebita, you’re all hot and croaky, it’s okay to be sick, I’m here to look after you.”

If you weren’t working so hard to keep your eyes closed you’d roll them, but that seems like far too much work for right now.

“Alexia I’m not sick, I’m just on my period.”

Alexia’s brow furrows, if your eyes weren’t closed you’d catch it. It’s the same furrow that always happens when Alexia thinks somebody else is wrong and she’s right.

“Bebita, this seems like a little bit more than a period. It’s okay, I’m here.”

You groan and Alexia recoils slightly.

“It’s just my period.”

Your deadpan makes Alexia confused.

“Your period shouldn’t be this bad. Are you having some heatstroke? It’s been warm out today, or are you having a migraine? You need to remember to hydrate.”

Your head is throbbing and Alexia’s theories aren’t helping.

“I have endometriosis Alexia, this is what my period looks like.It’s not fucking heatstroke or a sickness it’s just how my body is..”

Out of everything Alexia had been suspecting, that wasn’t it.

It suddenly dawns on Alexia that she can’t fix what you’ve just told her, she’s standing in front of you completely dumbfounded at what to do in this moment.

Alexia is a problem solver, she finds solutions for the biggest and smallest problems, and yet she doesn’t have a solution for the problem she is being faced with.

“Baby, just go home, the first night for me is always the worst, if I feel better I can hang out with you tomorrow.”

Alexia doesn’t have a solution to the pain you are going through, but she knows she isn’t going to let you suffer alone. The information that you’ve been doing this by yourself for a year now is making Alexia feel like the worst girlfriend ever and she’s going to change that.

“No, bebita, no. I’m staying here tonight, I’m here for you mi vida. Would it make you feel better if we got you into bed or into a bath? What’s going to make you more comfortable? Have you had medication? How about some food?”

When another groan leaves your lips, Alexia becomes aware that she’s approaching this the wrong way.

“How about I go and put the food in your kitchen and you decide what’s going to make you feel best. I’m here for whatever you need, okay?”

Alexia quietly tiptoes back into your kitchen, taking her time to put her things away and pulling two bottles of water from your fridge before making her way back into your living room.

You’ve emerged from your pile by the time she is back, your eyes are still closed but just seeing your face makes Alexia’s nerves settle just a little bit.

“Can we go to my bed, please?”

Alexia smiles at you softly.

“Of course amor, do you want me to carry you or do you think you can walk?”

The apprehension on your face is enough of a answer for Alexia.

She walks over towards you, picking up your blanket fort and body like it’s nothing and gently lifting you up, stepping carefully in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan out at the change of position, nothing feels good at the moment but Alexia’s arms are more comforting than the scratchy material of your couch cushions.

When she makes it to your bed, she lowers you down like you are the most delicate piece of glass, making sure that you’re tucked underneath the sheets before easing you out of your arms.

“Do you need anything? Heat pack? Water? Talk?”

Again, all Alexia’s words do is make the itching pain all over your body ten times worse, it’s all consuming and makes you feel choked.

“Bed, hugs, that’s all I want.”

Alexia is antsy, she wants to make the pain you are in better, she wants to know what to do right now instead of being completely blind in the situation.

“Are you sure? How about some pain relief or a cold compress?”

Alexia is no doctor, and up until five minutes ago she had absolutely no idea about this whole situation and whether she feels like she can admit it or not she’s terrified about it all.

She’s made up her mind that as soon as you're asleep she’s going to go on a deep dive of google searches to get to the bottom of this whole situation, but that will have to wait.

“Alexia, if you want to be here, just get into bed and give me some fucking hugs. I’m not in the mood to be told what to do with my body when I’ve been dealing with this for years, make up your mind of whether you want to be here or not.”

Alexia avoids conflict with you at all costs, she’s earned the title around your football friends of being your puppy dog, because she simply agrees to anything and everything that leaves your lips, and hearing you remotely mad at her makes her crumble.

“Sorry bebita, I’m so sorry, you’re right. I’m here for whatever you need.”

Alexia makes quick work of slipping her shoes off, something she never got around to in the darkness of your entryway.

She follows by taking her socks and outer layers off, stripping down until she’s in her tank top and a pair of old Barcelona training shorts.

Once she’s done she creeps around to the other side of your bed, slipping underneath the covers as subtly as she can manage.

When she’s completely covered, she lies back, unsure of how to approach all of this new information.

“You’re lying like a rigid corpse.”

Alexia gulps, she can see you in her peripherals, you look absolutely exhausted and in the kindest way possible, ten years older with the amount of wrinkles across your skin, bumps and ridges she can only imagine are the tightness holding in all of the struggle that you’re going through underneath the surface.

“Alexia, I’m okay, I’m not dying.”

Alexia knows theoretically that is true, she doesn’t have endometriosis and she’s not close to anybody who does, but she knows what it is. She knows it’s not cancer or something life-threatening, but the depth of the realisation that you’ve been suffering for so long and have kept it from Alexia is slowly pulling her apart at the seams.

You roll over slightly, it causes shocks of pain to go up and down your back and stomach, but you need the comfort as much as Alexia does, even if she isn’t ready to accept it.

She’s going through her process, compartmentalising all of it so she can be the brave and stoic face she always is.

You’re used to it, and you’ve come to realise that even though in these kinds of situations it seems like Alexia needs to be left alone, in reality she needs to be kept close by her nearest and dearest.

So, you worm your way on top of her body, it makes the cramps ten times worse and the nausea takes control of your stomach, forcing somersault after somersault, but when Alexia’s arms reach around you out of instinct it’s worth it.

You’re in pain, your uterus feels like it’s got knives embedded along the lining of it, like there are needles poking in and out of your back and gunshots being fired across your lower abdomen. But you’re well used to it, you’re used to the feeling of needing to throw up from having such intense throbbing pain across your whole core.

You’re used to the pounding headaches and migraines that come naturally from your body being so inflamed and agitated that all the tension eventually spreads to every single inch of your body, from the tips of your fingers to the edges of your toes.

Your head settles on Alexia’s shoulder, and her hand snakes it’s way down to the outside of your thigh, she’s being more cautious than she’s ever been with you and the normal you would probably be heartwarmed by her sweetness but the part of you that is currently seeing the worst kind of stars because of the cramps coursing through your body is just desperate to climb into her bones now that she is here with you.

It’s been ingrained in you since you were a kid that it was best to not bother other people with your weakness, it was your own struggle, your own burden.

You’d kept it from Alexia for this sole purpose, for the purpose that you knew she would take it all on as her problem, that she would try and fix it all and spend all of her time and energy trying to solve it all when you just wanted her to treat you the exact same.

She treated you like a princess everyday, but add a crippling reproductive condition and you knew she’d treat you like a priceless artefact. You were grateful you had a person in your life who would move heaven and earth in such a way for you but it was suffocating sometimes, when you were functioning on a normal level.

It was with those thoughts running rampant in your head that you slipped off into the same light sleep that you were lucky to drift into in these circumstances.

Whilst you drifted off, Alexia was left alone with her own thoughts.

Insecurity wasn’t something Alexia experienced often, she was secure in her body, she is as secure in her football as she has been since her knee injury, she’s secure in her family and up until today she felt completely secure in her relationship.

Now, she doesn’t know how she feels.

She knows that it’s likely you have a good reason to have kept this a secret, or a reason that you’ve justified to yourself. She knows underneath it all, you’re the one who’s secretly been hiding a big insecurity from her and she has no right to be truly mad about it, she’s disappointed that you haven’t felt able to share this with her when it feels like Alexia has bared all of her deepest, boniest secrets with you.

She does what makes sense, she reaches for her phone from her short pocket and begins to google all of the big questions that are swirling around in her mind.

You might have wanted to keep this a secret from Alexia but now that she knows about it she’d be a bad girlfriend if she didn’t educate herself on this.

So, instead of drifting off to sleep, Alexia drifts off into the land of medical journals and words that she doesn’t understand the meaning of but she’s determined to figure out.

You wake up in the morning in less of a state of excruciating suffering, instead of being stuck in a fiery inferno of hell you feel like you're dancing more on the periphery.

Your body is warm, in a way that makes you feel less like your insides are scorching you from the inside and more like you're generally just hot.

It feels like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon as you try to unroll from the blankets that you’d swaddled yourself in the night beforehand in an attempt to try and make yourself feel as small as possible in hopes it would somehow shrink down everything you were feeling.

It’s a feverish dream, and as you recall your night, blotches begin to come back to you and the memory of your girlfriend appearing somewhere along the way makes the dull cramps across the front of your stomach beat in a way that makes you uncomfortably uneasy all over again.

As you assess your surroundings and open your eyes for what feels like the first time in months, you notice that Alexia is no longer in bed with you.

It’s all extremely faint in your head and there is an off chance you’ve dreamt it all up, but the very faint smell of coffee drifting through the air and folded up clothes sitting on the dresser on the wall across from your bed.

You’re feeling less deathly than last night, so you wager your chances with slowly sitting up in your bed, when you don’t feel any different you begin to lift your legs up.

Your muscles ache in the same way they do every time your period comes around, they tweak and they constrict like you’re an eighty year old instead of a twenty something.

It’s rough, it’s uncomfortable and it’s painful but it’s life.

It’s your life, it’s your burden, it’s your problem and knowing that Alexia is now a part of it all makes you queasy in a completely different way.

Your heavy on your feet as you stand up and begin to creep towards the door of your bedroom, with every step every one of your toes grinds against the floorboards. Your heel digs in, your ankles crunch, your body moves in a way that mirrors the way that you are crumbling from within. On these kinds of days, weeks and months, everything hurts. Everything is an effort.

Once you make it to your open door, you steady yourself against it, your nerves are working against you, everything inside of you is actively trying to stop you and you’ll be damned if you let it happen.

You only stand still long enough for it to be classified in your brain as a stall, not a break, not a stop. You can’t stop in times like this, if you stop then you’ll never get going again and that is a whole pit of fuckedupness that you aren’t ready to dive into.

From the door, you try your hardest to tiptoe your way through the hallway to your living space, but it’s impossible in your body.

As you inch closer, the sound of Alexia only becomes more apparent and obvious, and as you creep closer the agitation across your body only gets worse.

As you reach the archway between your hallway and living space, the sight in front of you makes your heart throb and your uterus ache even worse then it already is.

Alexia is swaying in your kitchen, apparently to whatever music she has playing in her head. There is coffee on the counter, accompanied by two bottles of juice and water, like she couldn’t decide what would be best. To accompany the extra drinks is toast, eggs, bacon and pancakes on the stove.

It’s too much.

With the combination of hormones in your bloodstream you’re honestly impressed that you don’t burst into tears.

Alexia’s still here.

Alexia, sweet, loyal Alexia.

You’ve been conditioned to keep all of this a secret, that during this week it’s best to keep yourself and everything you’re going through hidden, for the best of yourself and for everyone around you. Yet, here Alexia is doing way too much for you.

You’re downward spiralling when her voice breaks you out.

“Hey bebe.”

Her voice is close to a coo, the same voice she uses with Irene’s son. You don’t let it affect you in the moment, but you’ll think about the tactic of it later.

“I have food for you, and coffee if you want it, but google told me that sometimes that’s not always good for endometriosis. So I got juice as well, because google also said it might help with inflammation.”

The thought behind it is extremely sweet, and you feel slightly overwhelmed by all of the options.

“You didn’t need to do that for me.”

Alexia frowns, it’s slight and hardly noticeable, but the little wrinkle between her eyebrows is an immediate tell.

“I wanted to, I want to help you, however I can.”

The sentiment behind her words is lost in the sudden shock that you experience as her words settle in, you’ve never met a single person, besides a doctor whose job it was to help you, that gave a shit about this.

When you have no words, Alexia finds some for you.

“I want to talk to you about this, I want to know about it, I want to help you. We’re partners, we do everything together, and I want to do this with you. I don’t want you to lock me out and I don’t want you suffering alone. I’m here for this, I’m here for you to lean on.”

You nod your head, her words feel like a drug, like it’s lifting away some of the pain you’re going through.

“I’m serious, this isn’t something you can hide from me. You looked after me when I hurt my knee and I am here to look after you in the same way when you’re in pain. Bebita?”

Alexia’s hand falls to your side, caressing your hip gently.

“I’m not used to people knowing about this, and I’m even more not used to people caring, I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to process.”

Alexia’s face softens, and before you can say any other stupid mumbles, she pulls you from the hip into her body. Her arms are warm, and yet oddly they soothe your prickly skin.

You melt into Alexia, you feel like shit but she makes you feel marginally better.

“Coffee, or juice?”

You stifle a giggle that falls from your lips.

“Juice, please.”

Alexia relaxes her arms, taking a step back.

“Can I get you any pain relief, or a new heat pack? Is your headache better?”

Alexia looks at you with so much genuine care that it’s hard to not feel embarrassed.

“Pain relief doesn’t sit well in my stomach on a good day. I save heat packs for when the cramps are really bad or else they don’t have the same effect. My headaches normally are at the end of the day as a result of tension build up during the day.”

Alexia looks as if she’s taking mental note of everything you’ve just told her, for later.

“How about some food, hmm?”

You want to say yes, because Alexia’s clearly gone to so much effort for you, but you know that if you eat this early and then train your stomach contents is going to end up on a pitch or somewhere inconvenient.

“My stomach won’t keep it if we train later, I’m better to eat afterwards.”

Alexia’s brow furrows once again.

“I called the doctor and Pere this morning, we’re both taking today off.”

Everything warm and good about the moment fades, and suddenly all you feel is confusion.

“Why did you do that?”

Alexia steps away from you and retreats into your kitchen, grabbing a glass for you and picking up the bottle of juice that she knows you prefer.

“Because I thought you were dying last night, and you can’t tell me that all of that has just disappeared this morning. You’re struggling and you don’t need to push through pain to prove that you are worthy or good enough. You’re self worth shouldn’t be dictated by you proving to yourself that you can work through a chronic disease. I’m sorry that I didn't notice earlier and that I wasn't there for you earlier but I'm here to advocate for you now.”

You want to tell Alexia that you don’t need an advocate, you can advocate just fine for yourself. But a part of you knows that she doesn’t want to hear it and that part of you is also the part that is crippling from the inside and simply doesn’t have the energy to argue with your girlfriend.

“I train just fine normally.”

Alexia can’t argue that, even though you spend the time in the gym, she’s never heard of anything out of the ordinary occurring.

“But you don’t have to. In fact when I talked to our doctor she told me that she’d been insisting on you being more cautious of your cycle and spending more time resting during it considering your history.”

You roll your eyes, taking the glass of juice Alexia offers you.

Alexia plates up a breakfast that could feed a family of four, but it makes you feel less bad for not eating any of it.

“It’s my body, I know my limits.”

You focus on your glass of juice and not the face Alexia makes at you.

“You know how to continuously meet and exceed your limits, but what about just leaving them and giving yourself some peace. I know nothing about what you are going through, I can only sympathise. But I know this must be incredibly hard and I know you definitely do not give yourself enough grace and definitely don’t care for your needs enough. I’m here for you to confide in, I’ve done my research, I’m prepared to help however you need.”

It’s endearing how clearly prepared Alexia has made herself.

“You’ve done your research, hmm?”

Alexia nods proudly.

“Lots of it. Like about how orgasms can help with cramps.”

She looks like she’s going to say more, but you splutter your juice straight back into your cup, causing her to stop.

Alexia’s always been more open with her sexuality then you are, it’s culturally more acceptable in Spain but she also grew up with it being slightly more normalised.

“Alexia.”

Her grin is broad, like she’s proud that she’s managed to embarrass you.

“It’s true! Although for some people endometriosis can cause pain whilst having sex, so if you’re one of those people then it may not work but if you want to try I’m happy to help, fingers, toys, everything but mouths is on the table.”

Your blush only gets more cemented.

“I’m okay for right now, the thought of any kind of intimacy makes my fallopian tubes ache.”

Alexia nods her head, you are certain that sometime in the future this topic will arise again. Alexia’s rabbit-like sex drive makes it hard to not involve sex in everything you do together.

“Can I ask what your symptoms normally look like?”

Alexia’s lip is caught between her teeth, it’s the first time she’s looked nervous this entire conversation.

“Of course. Normally for me, I get bad pelvic pain which never really goes away, sweats, fever sometimes, cramps everywhere, i bloat, i get quite nauseous and occasionally it can make me moody. Furthermore, it can cause me to have migraines, some joint pain, insomnia, there are other things but those are the main ones. Overall it just makes me drained, i’m more fatigued but I can’t sleep, it makes me feel pretty lifeless.”

Alexia nods, she listens to every single word with so much attention.

“I always assumed the scars on your stomach were from getting your appendix removed, but I’m assuming now it’s a laparoscopy?”

You’re impressed by the level of detail Alexia has gone to for you.

“I have had my appendix removed but also yes, I’ve had two laparoscopy’s and I’m putting off getting my third done.”

Alexia nods.

“Do they make it better?”

You bite your lip before nodding.

“It’s never perfect, but for a bit it definitely makes my symptoms better. I’m putting off getting my next one because the last time I did it put me out of action for two months and it took me a while to get back to where I was. My body is different, it changes you. Before you ask, I’ve tried birth control, I’ve tried IUD’s, I’ve tried other forms of contraception, they all made it impossible for me to play football.”

Alexia shakes her head.

“I wasn’t going to ask you that, it’s your decision what you do and don’t put in your body, and I’m sure you’re just making whatever decisions work best for you.”

It’s refreshing having somebody not question what you do and don’t do for yourself.

“That means a lot to me.”

Alexia puts down her cutlery, her food somehow disappearing into her stomach.

“It’s just what love is, and I’m here to love you for forever, if you’ll let me.”

You’ve put off crying, you’ve tried your very best, but it’s not possible anymore.

The tears fall freely, and before you know it Alexia has pulled you into her lap.

It hurts, everything hurts, and yet everything feels so much better knowing you’re in her arms.

“I’ve got you bebita, I’m here now, I’m here to help you work this all out.”

——————————————————————

whelp that’s done! thoughts, feedback and general opinions would be appreciated! i’m so happy to have made something for yall and it’s rushed and super unedited and definitely not my favorite work but i hope you enjoy it all the same 🫶

[bbyleiah]

CARNAL - CHOSO KAMO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ In which Choso is dating the reader’s best-friend but is secretly in love with the reader and blinded with an insatiable lust for her. What happens when he can no longer hold back his cravings for her? ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

cw: black fem sub!reader, switch!choso, cheating, dry humping (he humps the reader’s hand in a movie theater), drooling, oral sex (f!receiving), pleasure dom!choso, praise kink (choso loves praise), biting, lots of fluids, fingering, missionary position, choking, overstimulation, desperate choso, whiny choso, choso begs a lot, sexually frustrated choso, obsessed choso, unprotected sex, creampie, lots of dirty talk, marking, etc.

word count : no clue honestly 😭.

sn : I wrote this based on a movie I watched that inspired me 😭. I don’t condone cheating but it’s fun to write about sometimes 🫣.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑⊱••⭑

“What if he’s asexual?” Your bestfriend; Jayla wondered as she laid out on your bed while you got dressed. “He could be. Or maybe sex just isn’t on his mind.” You hummed as you put on a red Ed Hardy sweat set that was cute but simple. She tutted in disbelief, “Girl be serious. He’s a man. Of course sex is on his mind.” She said assuredly. “Well maybe he’s just shy then. You know how he is.” You laughed.

“How long can a person be shy for though? It’s been three months and he hasn’t even kissed me fully yet. I feel like we’re in some kind of kindergarten relationship.” She groaned in exaggerated despair. “That is a little questionable..but give him time. He could be waiting for the right moment, you know? Maybe he’s a traditional romantic.” You tried your best to ease her worries.

She sighed, “We’ll see. I don’t want to seem like I’m desperate though but I just hate feeling unwanted by my own boyfriend.” She pouted. “Awh, I get it. I’m sure Choso doesn’t want you to feel that way. Just talk to him about it, okay?” You comforted her with a hug. “I will. After the movie.” She huffed softly and as if on cue Choso pulled up. The three of you were going to see a movie together that Jayla had been raving about.

You were used to being their third wheel so you didn’t mind it. You met Choso through Jayla and the two of you naturally became acquainted. You considered him a good friend and he treated Jayla well mostly so you approved of him. “You two almost ready?” He asked as he walked in and stood at your bedroom door. Jayla immediately threw herself on him, peppering his face in kisses and telling him how much she missed him.

“Yuck. Don’t taint my room with that mushy shit.” You commented with faux distaste as you laughed. “Haterr. Go get you a man.” Jayla teased and you flipped her off. “I don’t need a man boo, I’m cool where I’m at.” You laughed honestly as you applied your usual brown lip liner and lip gloss combo. “Hey Cho~” you greeted him with a hug once you were ready to go. “Hey (✰)” he greeted back politely, as the two of you hugged.

Choso couldn’t help the way his eyes fluttered slightly as he inhaled your sweet scent. A sigh itching to release from his chest at the way you patted the back of his head the way you always did whenever the two of you hugged. He knew that he shouldn’t be this affected by you, especially over a hug that was less than a second long. But it seemed Choso always lost a bit of his composure whenever he was near you.

You were completely unaware of the impact your presence had on Choso. Simply viewing him as your bestfriend’s boyfriend and a decent guy that you were around often. You sat in the backseat, tuning out Jayla and Choso’s couple talk on the ride to the theater. “Sis, I was thinking that maybe me and Cho could sit separately from you?” Jayla suddenly suggested once you guy’s arrived at the theater.

It caught you off guard for a second until you saw the mischievous look in her eye and realized her plan. “Ohh, that’s cool with me. I don’t need you two ruining my movie experience anyways.” You shrugged with a laugh. “Wait, why would we sit separately?” Choso cut in, clearly oblivious. You and Jayla glanced at each other knowingly. “Because babe, don’t you want a little privacy?” She attempted to hint and convince him.

“That’s rude to (✰) though. Otherwise we shouldn’t have brought her along. She can sit with us.” He expressed, seemingly trying to stick up for you. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine on my ow-“ you attempted to reassure him but Choso cut in again. “No. You’re sitting with us.” He stated, leaving no room for objections as he got out of the car. You were dumbfounded and Jayla was fuming.

“Well..sorry honey. But I mean you can still get your freak on..I’ll just act like I’m not there.” You told her, feeling awkward now. “Ugh, he’s so stupid.” was all Jayla grumbled as she got out of the car with you following after her. You tried to ignore the tension floating around now as you guys got seated in the theater. Choso sat in the middle while you and Jayla sat on each side of him. The movie started with no words exchanged between the three of you.

You just focused on the movie and munched on popcorn quietly while paying no mind to the tense couple next to you. About 40 or so minutes into the movie while you were intently watching the film, Jayla was busy trying to make her move once again. She was easing her hand up Choso’s thigh, trying to get him hard as her hand trailed over his crotch. Choso tensed, uncomfortable and far from turned on.

He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but he also didn’t want to be touched by her. “Stop babe.” He whispered as he physically moved her hand off him. Jayla was embarrassed now and fed up, tears filling her eyes. “Fuck you choso.” She muttered as she got up and stormed out of the theater. That’s when you finally pulled your attention away from the huge screen to gather what occurred next to you. “What happened? Is Jay okay?” You asked Choso, concerned about your bestfriend.

Choso couldn’t focus much on your question, too distracted by the way your breath tingled against his earlobe as you whispered to him. “She’s alright..just a little upset right now. I’ll check on her later.” He muttered once he gathered his thoughts, although you found it a little odd that he didn’t seem as concerned as you were. “Are you two good? It seems the two of you haven’t been on the same page lately..” you knew that bringing this up during a movie probably wasn’t the best choice but you had to know his perspective.

He sighed, “My mind’s just been a little off lately. I’m working on it though so I can be better for Jayla.” He half told the truth and half lied. “You know you can talk to me about whatever’s been on your mind..if you don’t feel comfortable talking with Jayla.” You offered, innocently and just out of kindness. Choso couldn’t possibly tell you that the thing that’s been harboring his mind was you. He thought about you way more than he should and it made him feel terrible but you were ingrained in his head. Everything about you.

“I don’t know if I can tell you either though…even if I wanted to.” He whispered as he looked into your eyes. The lights illuminating from the theater screen making him appear in flashes of bright lights and darkness. Even if you couldn’t see him clearly, you could feel the hardness of his stare and the way it left goosebumps on your skin because of the words and emotions hidden within his usually dead eyes.

“I’m a safe space Cho..you can trust me..” you said softly as your hand moved to grab his in a comforting manner. You didn’t know what was going on with Choso but you knew how much Jayla loved him so you wanted to be there for him for her sake. Choso felt something inside him awaken at the feel of your skin on his. He wanted so so badly to kiss your hand all the way up to those pretty glossed up lips of yours. Wanted to see the way the gloss would smear and make you look a mess with his spit coating your lips after he shoved his tongue down your throat.

He could just imagine the way you’d whine into his mouth and grow breathless with each kiss he gave you. If he could he would shove his fingers into your cunt right in the middle of this theater. Knowing how pretty you’d look squirming and trying to hold back those heavenly moans. Unable to quiet the faint squelching of your wet cunt squeezing his thick fingers. The lewd sound being drowned out by the booming speakers within the enclosed theater.

Choso snapped out of his perverted fantasy when you gave his hand a light squeeze. “Cho sweetie, are you okay?” You asked, now feeling concerned for him as well. Choso nodded, a blush creeping up his neck once realizing how hard he was in his black baggy jeans. His cock was throbbing over a simple hand hold and his own imagination. He was pathetic. “You look a little sick though honey..” you frowned as you placed your hand on his forehead and on the sides of his face and neck, checking his temperature.

Choso had to hold back a groan at the physical attention you were giving him. Biting down on his bottom lip as he soaked up the bare minimal touch you were providing him. He loved feeling your flesh against his. He craved it. To him, it was better than any drug. You started to pull your hand away but choso grabbed it with a startling bruising grip. “D-Don’t stop..your touch is nice..” he breathed out as he looked at you with lidded eyes.

“Choso..maybe I should take you to a hospital..” you muttered, worried but also slightly freaked out. You had never seen Choso like this before. He seemed so stirred up when he was usually composed and level headed. “I don’t need a hospital. I’m fine, I just..” he didn’t know how to explain himself he just knew he wanted you to touch him. “Touch me. Please.”

You were stunned at his words, eyes wide and feeling like your ears were playing tricks on you. You were too busy processing his begging to register him moving your hand onto his crotch. The gasp you let out was immediate as Choso began rutting up into your palm. “Fuck..” he groaned under his breath as he melted under your touch. He slumped into the theater seat, eyes fluttering closed as he humped your hand like an animal in heat.

He didn’t have a strong hold on your hand so you could’ve easily removed it and stopped him but it seemed your body and brain weren’t in sync at the moment. You just watched, enamored as choso pathetically used your hand to get off. You could feel the way his cock throbbed and jumped under your palm. He was so hard and turned on and you didn’t have a clue as to why. “Feels good..” he whined into your neck as he buried his face into it, his head resting on your shoulder.

Perspiration began to coat your skin as choso panted against your neck while his hips continuously rocked against your pliant hand. You felt the urge to squeeze his cock, wanting to feel just how heavy and swollen it was. But the rational side of you knew it was wrong. That this whole situation was bad and shouldn’t be happening at all. It was hard to think straight though with choso whining and grunting into your ear, drool starting to dribble from his mouth and down your neck.

“C-Choso..we’re in public..” you managed to finally speak in a breathy whisper. Although it was disconcerting that those were first words to leave your mouth instead of more pressing issues like how choso was fucking your hand while your bestfriend was away who happened to be his girlfriend. “I know..j-just let me finish, please.” He whined as he pressed your hand down harder to add more friction. “Jayla will be back soon..” you reminded him, worry filling you again as you did a quick glance around for her.

Choso did not give a shit about any of that at the moment though. His mind solely focused on the warmth and pressure of your hand against his clothed cock. He wished so badly that he could feel you skin to skin but even he knew that it would be crossing a line that he wouldn’t be able to come back from. You tensed up this time once feeling Choso’s tongue lick up the side of your neck all the way up to your ear. You hated the way your cunt pulsed at the feeling, your thighs rubbing together instinctively.

Despite your mostly calm composure, you were getting turned on by this whole situation. It was hard not to be when Choso was acting so erotic and feral. You could feel the way your panties began to stick to your folds as you grew wet while choso pleasured himself to the feel of you against him. You were barely even touching him but with how he was acting you’d think you were actually fucking him. “want you so fucking badly..need you ngh.” He muttered against you as he moaned.

Against your better judgement and earlier restraint, you began to help him chase his orgasm. Your hand moving to stroke and squeeze his cock. It was worth it just to hear the way he fell apart and moaned your name. “Oh fuck, just like that. ah- you’re so fucking perfect. You’re the only one that gets me like this uhn-“ he rambled in between moans and whines. You could tell he was close by the way his breath quickened and how he began to thrust harder into your palm.

“Choso..” you began to utter his name and as soon as you did he came. That was all it took for him to spill ropes of thick cum into his pants. He bit down on your neck as he came to hold back his loud moan. You couldn’t fight the whimper you let out at the quick painful sting. He pulled back after he calmed down, sighing in content as he slouched in his seat again. His teeth marks left imprinted in your skin.

You didn’t know if it was good luck or karma having a sense of humor because Jayla came back right after. “We’re leaving. I’m done with this shit.” She said to you and choso. Choso was still out of it, seemingly dazed. An outsider would think he was high off something. Not knowing that something was you. You instantly snapped back into reality once hearing Jayla’s voice and seeing the state she was in. It was obvious she’d been crying with how red and puffy her eyes were.

“Uh Cho, I’ll walk to the car with Jay..you should get yourself together..” you told him. He just nodded in response. Jayla glared at him, hating his nonchalant attitude even though she knew that he knew she was upset. Choso was unbothered by her glare, his attention still focused on you as he licked his lips. You ignored his stare and began to walk out with Jayla huffing angrily beside you.

“I hate him. I’m tired of being the only one trying in this relationship. Am I just not attractive to him?” She asked you with tears in her eyes again. This time you didn’t have much of an answer for her. Especially after what just happened between you and choso. It played on a loop in your mind like a broken record. You discreetly tried to use your jacket to hide the bite mark on your neck. “Sis..I don’t know. He could be abstinent..?” You attempted to give her answers.

“Look, just focus on the romance aspect of your relationship for now. I’m sure sex will come eventually.” You reassured her with more confidence behind your words this time. She sighed, “I guess..it’s still embarrassing though that I tried to touch him in the theater and he told me to stop.” She frowned as the two of you got into the car. You remained silent, not having much of a response to that.

But you convinced yourself that it all made sense, that maybe that’s why choso was so turned on — because of Jayla. Not because of you. Your denial was very short lived though because your phone buzzed with a message from choso.

Cho-Cho 🚂 : 1 attachment

The notification had your heart feeling like it stopped beating for a moment. You were holding your breath as you opened it. You were deeply unprepared for the image that awaited you. Choso had sent you a picture of the mess he made in his pants. The cum soaked through his briefs and ran down his pants leg. The globs of cum stuck to his cock that was somehow still half hard. You immediately closed the message, shutting off your phone screen.

Choso knew you weren’t going to respond to his text but he still couldn’t help the disappointment that filled him when he saw that you left him on read. He cleaned himself up in the restroom before he joined the two of you in the car and began to drive. The car suddenly felt impossibly more stuffy when Choso got in. The heavy silence and tension was almost suffocating. Your mind was scrambled with how to handle this newfound situation.

A part of you cursed Choso for putting you in this predicament that could cost you to lose your bestfriend. Another part of you couldn’t fight the lingering arousal that wouldn’t leave your body. Your mind consumed with the way Choso turned into putty under your touch. You also had so many questions as to why Choso couldn’t get off with Jayla when his dick clearly wasn’t broken. Your string of thoughts came to a halt when Jayla broke the deafening silence in the car.

“Take me to my house. I’m not staying with you tonight.” She told Choso. He only hummed in response to her and with you knowing Jayla well, you knew that only made her more upset. “You’re not even going to apologize? Ask if I’m okay? Nothing?” She called him out. “M’tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?” He finally spoke with a bored lazy tone. Jayla scoffed, “This is some bullshit.” she muttered while shaking her head in disbelief.

It wasn’t much longer until the car came to a stop in front of Jayla’s house, even though the tension made the drive feel longer. Jayla shot one last glare at Choso and turned to you uttering a ‘kill him for me.’ before she got out of the car. She slammed the door, the sound making you cringe a little. You frowned watching her walk angrily into her home, feeling sympathetic but also guilty. “Come sit in the front.” Choso’s voice had your attention instantly on him.

His stare was intense on you and he seemingly appeared more relaxed than he had been when Jayla was in the car. “Uhm..I don’t think that’s a good idea. Speaking of which Cho, what happened earlier shouldn’t have happened and you should really apologize to Jay..if you’re feeling sexually frustrated? Or something..you should figure that out with her..” you struggled to find the right words. It was too awkward and you were still processing everything.

“I’m not sexually frustrated. Even if I was, the cause would be you. Not Jayla.” He said honestly and shock filled you again. “Don’t say that..” you muttered. “It’s the truth. Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?. I can’t fuck Jayla because all I think about is you.” He admitted. You were at a loss for words and he took your silence as his cue to keep talking. “Just your presence alone drives me crazy. The things I’d do to you if gave me the chance..fuck it’s all I think about.”

“How fuckin’ pretty you are and how pretty I know your pussy is too, how wet you could get for me, how good you’d feel pressed against me, and how sweet your moans would sound. I wanna feel your skin against mine so fucking badly. Feel like I’d die without it. Do you ever think of me like that?” He rambled and you could see the hope shining in his eyes as he awaited your response. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought about him in that way. until today, and now you felt conflicted.

You let out a breath before you spoke, “Choso…I shouldn’t think about you like that and you shouldn’t think about me like that either. You’re not mine.” You replied. You were trying your best to remain level headed and maintain boundaries despite the flutters in your chest and the ache between your legs. “I could be yours if you wanted me to be.” He said it with no hesitation, like his relationship with Jayla was the last thing on his mind.

Honestly, it was. He couldn’t think about anything other than you, especially when he was in your presence. He’d risk it all for you and that was becoming clearer to you the more he confessed. “I’d be so good for you. I’d do anything you’d ask of me.” He was bordering on begging now and you didn’t know how to react. You never had a man this desperate for you. It was foreign to you and it was especially jarring because it was the ever so stoic choso turning pathetic and subservient all for you.

While you were trying to gather up a proper response, Choso moved to get out of the car and climb into the backseat with you. “Wait-..what are you doing?” You asked him in confusion and slight shock. “Want to make you feel about me the way I do about you. Want you to sit on my face.” You didn’t know if your heart could handle any more of Choso’s unpredictable words and actions.

Your breath caught in your throat at his blunt request. “Don’t think about it…just let me show you how good I am, please?” He was whining now, his hands moving up your thighs. You couldn’t help the way your legs instinctively parted for him. His hands stopped at the band of your sweat pants, his eyes staring at you expectantly as he anxiously awaited your approval.

You knew you were going to regret this later but it was hard to say no to choso, especially when he was looking at you like that. “Lie back.” You breathed out. He instantly obeyed, lying down on the two backseats while you adjusted yourself to climb on top of him. It was a tight space but Choso didn’t seem to have any complaints, just eager to please you. You slid off your sweatpants and panties in one motion, tossing them aside.

Choso watched you with hungry eyes, panting softly as he grew excited and more eager by the second. A sliver of shame filled you at how wet you were already. Choso’s needy rambles spurred you on and now you intended to put his mouth to good use. You got comfortable as you hovered over his waiting mouth, shivers racking through you as his breath fanned against your slick cunt. He groaned as he breathed in the scent of your cunt, his eyes rolling a bit.

This was like his dream coming true. He already felt like he was in heaven and he hadn’t even tasted you yet. You bit down on your bottom lip as you lowered yourself down onto Choso’s face, cautious to not put all your weight on him. He didn’t waste a single second before dragging his tongue through your sodden folds. The two of you moaned in unison. He was hooked after that first taste, his arms moving to wrap around your legs as he held you down and began to eat your pussy like his life depended on it.

His tongue lapping sloppily at your cunt as he swallowed up all of your juices. Your hands tangled into his hair as you moaned and whined out, your hips rocking as you grinded down onto his tongue. “feels s’good cho” you whined as you continued to ride his face to your heart’s content. He loved the praise, feeling more eager to please you as he greedily ate you out. You were so wet, soaking the lower half of Choso’s face and his neck.

He couldn’t get enough of it, wanting to drown in your essence. He felt like he’d die a happy man suffocated between your legs. Your back arched and your legs closed tighter around his head as he began to suckle on your clit like it was his favorite hard candy. Swallowing up the sticky sap that gathered on the swollen nub. He moaned nonstop into your cunt, obsessed with the taste of you on his tongue. The vibrations of his moans causing your legs to tremble as you let out little whines and mewls.

“s-shit! choso s’too much” you cried out as Choso began to push his tongue into your little hole, fucking his tongue into you while you jerked and wailed. He tightened his grip on you to keep you still as his tongue explored your gummy walls. Tears filled your eyes at the immense pleasure. You were sensitive since you hadn’t had anyone touch you in a while and choso was turning your mind and body into mush. It seemed he knew exactly what to do to get you falling apart.

The fog in your brain got cleared up for a second when your phone began to ring. You whined and choso groaned in annoyance, slapping your thigh once you began to look for your phone. “Leave it.” He muttered into your cunt, his voice having more rasp to it than it did minutes ago. “J-Just let me check who it is…” you stuttered out in between moans. Reality hit you once seeing the caller was Jayla. You guessed she probably assumed you were home now and ranted to rant to you more.

“oh shit..” you breathed out. Guilt washed over you again as you realized the two of you were still parked outside of Jayla’s house while you were busy riding her boyfriend’s face. Choso nipped lightly at your clit, making you flinch and focus your attention back on him. His dark eyes were already looking up at you. “Ignore it.” He mumbled as he pulled away from your cunt to press wet kisses on your inner thighs.

“B-But..this is wrong choso..” you bit down on your lip as you began to contemplate everything. “Just stop thinking for right now. Worry about it later. I’m not stopping until you cum on my face princess.” He finally had you and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. You whined, conflicted but deciding that since you had already started then you might as well finish. “Never again after this, okay?” You said as your hips began to move again.

“Mhm.” was all he hummed in response. He was gonna make sure that this wasn’t the last time but he’d let you believe that it was. Choso slid one of his fingers into your cunt as he continued lapping up all your sweet fluids. The stimulation successfully making your brain shut off again as you got lost in the way Choso’s played with your body. He groaned at the way your pussy spurt out more fluids, adding another finger into your greedy cunt.

“You’re like a fucking fountain.” He moaned as he drank up your sweet essence that was now soaking his hand. His fingers curling inside you and making you squeal and cry out. “Cho! m’gonna-!” You whined out as you fucked yourself on Choso’s fingers and his tongue with vigor, chasing your approaching orgasm. “You better fucking cum for me. I want all of it. Make a mess out of me pretty girl.” He encouraged as he thrusted his fingers into you faster.

He sucked your clit into his mouth again, rolling his tongue around it and you felt as if your brain short-circuited. Mouth parting in a silent moan as you came hard, soaking Choso’s face and adding to the mess you already created. “That’s it. s’fucking good.” He moaned, mewling in delight as he slurped up as much of your release as he possibly could. His tongue licking between the crease of your thigh to your hip. He seemed as if he wanted to devour every inch of you.

You whined and climbed off of choso to get him to stop his incessant licking at your body. He had the stamina to keep going but you were getting overstimulated. Embarrassment filled you once seeing the state you left him in. His pretty signature ponytails all messed up and undone, his lips swollen and red, his face and neck soaked with your essence down to his shirt. He had the biggest grin on his face though, happy that he got what he wanted.

You were heavily relaxed now after having one of the best orgasms of your life. But even with the post orgasm haze over you, you still had some rationality left. “We’re gonna move on from this and act like it didn’t happen, okay?” You told him, still slightly breathless as you sat in his lap while he sat up. Choso pulled his shirt off since it was drenched now and your breath caught in your throat seeing his upper body.

He had various pretty intricate tattoos over his slightly chiseled form and a dark happy trail that had you practically drooling. “How can I move on and forget the best moment of my life?” He said as he grabbed your waist to pull you closer. “You’re being dramatic. You also have a girlfriend if you haven’t forgotten.” You reminded him but didn’t stop him as he began to leave kisses on your neck, his lips still slicked up with your cum.

“This is about us right now. shh.” He brushed off, purposefully ignoring the reminder of Jayla’s existence. “You’re a terrible -ah boyfriend, stop that!” You moaned when choso began to suck hickies onto your neck and you pulled at his hair to stop him. He whined at the sting of you pulling his hair. “Fine, I’ll stop. But can I get one kiss, please?” He pouted as he asked, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

You were in disbelief at how shameless he was. “You’re unbelievable. Are you always this needy and persistent?” You kept your grip on his hair to keep him in place. “Only for you.” He grinned with a wink. “Just one kiss and then I’ll take you home. Hm?” He tried to persuade you. So far you hadn’t put up much resistance to him or his advances and you’d already crossed too many lines to go back now.

“Fine, we’ve already gotten this far anyways.” You accepted as you let his hair go. Choso was ecstatic to finally get the chance to kiss you. He didn’t waste any more time as his hands moved to cup your face and his lips pressed against yours. To your surprise, the kiss was slow and way more intimate than you expected. He was taking his time and you didn’t have any complaints about it.

Choso was savoring the moment because he didn’t know if he’d get the chance to kiss you again after this. To him the world felt right with your plush lips molded perfectly against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss got progressively deeper, Choso pulling you flush against him and holding you tight as his tongue slid into your mouth.

His tongue tangled with yours and you let out soft moans into the kiss that made his head spin. Choso refused to break the kiss even though the two of you could barely breathe. Every time you even attempted to pull away he’d just kiss you harder, sucking on your tongue and licking into your mouth, hooked on the taste of you. All you could do was melt into the kiss, allowing Choso to kiss you as much as he wanted to.

He only pulled away once he was fully satisfied, leaving the two of you panting with a string of saliva connecting your lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He admitted softly into the comfortable silence within the car. “I can tell…it was nice..” you told him honestly and he smiled. He was content with knowing you enjoyed it as much as he did. “Let’s get going before Jay sees us and murders us both.” He joked but you didn’t laugh.

“Not funny. We both fucked up but let’s not talk about it right now.” You stated as you slid your sweatpants back on and handed choso his shirt. “Understandable.” He obliged and dropped the topic. “I’m never washing this shirt. I hope you know that.” He laughed but he was serious and your face scrunched up in disgust. “That’s nasty cho, ew. don’t do that.”

“It’s like a trophy to me now. I got you to cum on my face. My proudest moment, honestly.” He gloated with a smug smile. Embarrassment mixed in with your feelings of disgust as choso flaunted his tainted shirt. “J-Just shut up and drive.” You grumbled shyly. He cooed, “You’re adorable.” He chuckled and pecked your forehead before he climbed back into the driver’s seat. You moved to sit in the passenger seat as well and got settled as choso began to drive you home.

There was a comfortable silence on the drive there and you hugged him goodbye once he dropped you off. The events of the day hit you as you did your night routine. So many different emotions weighed on you but you decided to try and let the situation go and move on even with the heaviness that weighed on your heart.

The next few days it was hard to forget what happened though with Choso constantly texting you and calling you. You even considered blocking his number at one point because of how incessantly he contacted you. You never meant to intentionally avoid him but you felt like you had to when he constantly texted you about how much he wanted you, missed the taste of you, and missed feeling you pressed against him.

He even sent videos of him pleasuring himself while moaning your name, which you shamefully watched while also self indulging. But you knew Choso was ultimately off limits and you’d hoped that by ignoring him he’d eventually get over you. You learned that he was far from over you when he showed up while you were at Jayla’s house. According to Jayla the two of them made up and you were happy for them.

You hadn’t expected him to come over though. His eyes bore into you as he walked up to where you and Jayla sat on her couch. “Hi baby~” he said to Jayla as the two of them kissed and hugged. You suddenly felt really uncomfortable and awkward, especially since Choso didn’t look away from you for a second. “Hi choso.” You greeted him out of courtesy and to appear normal.

He raised a brow at you, surprised that you even spoke to him. He was also thrown off by the fact that you didn’t hug him like you usually did nor did you call him by his nickname you gave him. “Hi.” He replied bluntly, tone dry. Jayla glanced between the two of you, confused at the underlying tension. “Y’all good..?” She asked. You were quick to nod while Choso hummed a small ‘mhm.’

“I think I’m gonna give you two some privacy..I’ll go upstairs.” You announced as you stood up. “Oh sis you don’t have to-“ Jayla started but Choso cut her off. “Let her go.” He said and this was when you realized he was angry. His eyes holding a slight glare to them, shoulders stiff and posture straight, his tone of voice harsher than usual. Him being angry at you made you feel a pang in your heart but you ignored it.

You didn’t utter another word, quietly making your way upstairs to Jayla’s bedroom. You were regretting not actually leaving and going to your own house now, feeling uncomfortable with staying in Jayla’s house while Choso was there. You kept yourself entertained for a while though until someone came into the room. You perked up thinking it was Jayla, only to see Choso walking in.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” He cut right to the chase. “I had nothing to say to you. I told you to move on and forget about what happened.” You sighed. He scoffed, “You really thought I’d forget that night?. I haven’t been able to erase it from my mind. You don’t just fucking ride my face and then go ghost on me!” He snapped and you gasped, immediately rushing to slap your hand over his mouth.

“Are you fucking crazy?! Quiet down” you whisper yelled to him. “Also you’re the one that asked me to ride your face, lunatic. You knew that it wasn’t going to go further than that.” You huffed as you returned his glare. “So that’s it, huh?. It meant nothing to you?. It was that easy for you to forget it?” He questioned you and you hesitated to respond, chewing on your bottom lip.

“Forgetting is the right thing to do.” You answered after a moment of silence. “That’s not a good enough answer. I don’t give a shit about what’s right and you know that. I just want you, can’t you see that? Why won’t you give me a chance?” He pleaded and you frowned at the desperate look in his eyes. “Cho..I…” your words trailed off when Choso suddenly kissed you, making your eyes widen. “Wait-“ you said as you tried to push him away.

“No. You want me too, you just don’t want to admit it” he murmured against your lips as he kissed you again. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be letting me kiss you right now.” He pointed out as he looked into your eyes. You hated that he was right, no matter how much you tried to deny it. “Shut up.” You huffed softly before you kissed him this time. He let out a laugh into the kiss as he returned it.

The kiss escalated quickly as Choso slid his tongue into your mouth and as your fingers tangled into his hair. Choso sucked on your tongue and you let out a moan into the kiss, making him grip your hips tight and pull you closer. The kiss died just as quick as it began once you heard Jayla’s footsteps climbing up the stairs. “Shit.” You muttered as you pushed Choso away and hurriedly wiped your lipgloss residue off of his lips.

Choso was just staring at you smiling like an idiot. “Go! Before she comes in here.” You whisper yelled as you pushed at his chest. “Tell me I can come see you tonight. Then I’ll go.” He propositioned with a grin. You narrowed your eyes at him, “You just don’t quit, do you?” He shook his head in response. “Fine. You can come see me tonight.” You sighed and he silently cheered and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before he finally exited the room.

Jayla walked in afterwards. “You two solved whatever y’all got going on?” She asked you. Her question caught you off guard, “Uh yeah. We talked things out.” You hummed. “Great. I sent him up here because I’d rather not have my boyfriend and my bestfriend hating each other.” She laughed. “You got into it with him over how he treats me, didn’t you?” She questioned.

Guilt ate away at you at how oblivious Jayla was and at the reality of how much of a terrible friend you were. “Mhm! You told me to kill him for you so I ruined his night that day.” You lied with the best fake laugh you could muster. She seemed to believe you because she just grinned back at you, seemingly satisfied. “But sis, I do gotta admit something..” she suddenly lowered her voice and got serious as she moved closer to you.

You perked up, fully intrigued to know whatever secret she was going to confess to you. “What is it?” you whispered. “I cheated on Choso that night..” she revealed and you gasped in genuine shock, staring at her in disbelief. Despite the rifts in their relationship you never expected Jayla to go against her loyalty to Choso but it seemed that lately the unexpected kept coming.

“Really?!” You blurted out, unable to contain your shock. “Shh! yes really, I was too frustrated and craved to feel something. I was also angry as fuck so I was being reckless. I can’t say that I regret it but it won’t happen again. I think Choso is actually going to work to keep our relationship going.” She told you with a small sigh. You were silent, processing the newfound information. You felt the urge to tell her your own little secret but you knew your secret most likely wouldn’t go over so well.

“Does choso know?” You asked her. You doubted she told him but you were still curious. “Of course not. You think I’m crazy?. I’m not ruining my relationship. He’ll never know and I’m okay with that.” She shrugged. “Wow..well you know I won’t tell him. That’s between y’all two.” You reassured her and it was genuine. Even though you haven’t been the ideal bestfriend as of late, you still wouldn’t tell her secret.

She grinned and tackled you with a hug. “That’s why I love you bestie boo.” She mushed as she squeezed you and you laughed. For just this moment things felt as they did before you got entangled with Choso. It was nice and made your heart swell with nostalgia and happiness. But in the back of your mind you knew this feeling was temporary because Choso was still coming to see you later and that alone makes this moment feel bittersweet.

Once you were home all you could think about was Choso and everything that had happened in the past few days. As the hours ticked by you began to regret giving him permission to come see you. Even though part of you did want to see him, the other half felt it was best if you didn’t. The war in your mind got put on hold when you heard knocking at your door. You already knew who it was so you debated opening it for a brief moment.

“Come on baby, let me in.” Choso called out from the other side of the wooden door. The way he called you ‘baby’ affected you way more than it should’ve. The small pet name possessing you to walk over and open the door for him. “I’m not your baby.” You told him as you looked up at him. Your words contradicting to the beating of your heart and the way you actually felt.

“You can be though. Or would you prefer a different name?. There’s plenty of options. Honey, sweetie, love, babe, princess, sunshine, my pretty girl, my gorgeous girl, my girl. Mine. I could go on and on you know.” He rambled and even though it was a tad bit cheesy, it had you grinning. He smiled once seeing you smile. “You’re so fucking pretty, you know that don’t you?” He stated and you felt like he was buttering you up now but it was working.

“Just shut up and come in.” You laughed and he didn’t hesitate to oblige. His hand instantly moving to grasp you as he entered your home. He was touching you like it was instinctive for him. His hands caressing your sides and your back as he held you close with his face buried in your neck, breathing in your scent. “You gonna let me have what I want this time?” He murmured against your neck.

“Hm, I don’t know. What is it that you want exactly?” You were teasing him now. You knew exactly what he wanted but it was fun to see how desperate he could get. “You. I want you. All of you. If you’ll let me.” He said as he pulled away to look into your eyes, waiting for you to give him any signal to have access to you. You let out a soft exhale of breath as you gave him a small nod of your head.

You decided to just ignore your guilty conscience for now and enjoy the moment. Choso’s face instantly lit up and he grinned before kissing you deeply and picking you up. You didn’t think you’d ever get used to the way Choso kissed you. Every single time he kissed you as if he was trying to savor every press of your lips against his. He carried you up to your room and broke the kiss as he laid you down onto your bed.

“Fuck…I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He muttered as he stared down at you adoringly. His gaze making you feel shy. “Don’t just stare at me. Do something before I change my mind.” You huffed softly and he laughed. “If you think I’m going to rush this, you’re crazy.” He uttered while shaking his head as he ran his hands up your thighs until he gripped the waistband of your sleep shorts.

He pulled them down along with your panties, letting out a breath once seeing your cunt on display. “She’s so pretty.” He whispered, almost as if he was talking directly to your pussy and it had you flustered. A shiver coasted your body as he placed a soft kiss on your mound, spreading your lips with his fingers as he placed another kiss on your clit.

You knew he was taking his sweet time but you felt like he was teasing you as you grew more needy by the second. You let out a small whine and tried to shift your hips closer to him, hoping he’d catch the hint. Thankfully he did, sliding a finger into your eager hole. He groaned under his breath as he watched your wet cunt suck his finger in. “You’re so tight. When’s the last time this pretty pussy got some attention?”

“The other night, when you ate my pussy out.” You answered honestly with a moan as you pushed back onto Choso’s thick finger. “Cute. But that’s not what I meant baby.” He chuckled softly as he looked up at you. “I meant, when’s the last time this cute cunt was stuffed full, hm?” He reiterated as he pressed another soft kiss to your clit while he inserted a second finger into you.

You shrugged, “I-I don’t know..it’s been awhile..” you muttered shyly in slight embarrassment as you looked away from him. Your answer surprised him. Yeah, he hadn’t seen you with any guys in the time period he’s known you, but he thought you were way too pretty to not have guys practically kissing your feet. “so that’s why this needy cunt is swallowing my fingers like this. Poor princess is just hungry for some dick.” He cooed and you whined.

He spit onto your pussy and added a third finger as he continued giving your pussy the attention it deserved. His fingers thrusting into you at a fast pace as you mewled and squirmed, growing wetter and drenching Choso’s fingers. Choso was enamored with the sight of your cunt clinging to his fingers and the way it gushed every time he pushed in and out. The squelching sound music to his ears.

“feels s’good cho..” you whined and he reveled in the praise. He wanted to please you as much as possible just to keep hearing that. He began to suck on your clit as he curled his fingers inside you, making you gasp and grip your bedsheets. “you always taste so fucking good” he groaned and couldn’t help but to start lapping up the sweet tangy nectar that poured from your cunt incessantly. He was so messy as he slurped and drooled onto your wet cunt, his tongue working in tandem with his fingers.

You were obsessed with the way choso ate you out as if he couldn’t get enough of you. He was by far the best head you’d ever received and you were addicted to his mouth now. “I want you to cum and make a mess out of me, can you do that for me baby?” he asked as he looked up at you, pulling away from your cunt and licking his lips. You nodded quickly in response and moved to eagerly grab at his hair to pull his face back where you needed him most.

Choso chuckled at how needy you were being, pride filling him because he was the cause of it. Choso focused his attention on your throbbing clit as his fingers dug deep into you, caressing your slick walls that pulsed and creamed on his hand. “mmpfh- fuck..” you moaned, biting down on your bottom lip as you tugged at Choso’s hair and rocked against his face; getting lost in the pleasure he was giving you.

Choso knew he found the spot he’d been looking for when your back arched and you let out a sob of his name. “Is that it baby?. this spot right here?” He spoke in a teasing manner as he began to drive his fingers precisely into that spot that had your eyes rolling back. “m’gonna..” you whimpered as you trembled and began to fall apart. Choso urged you on with sweet praises of ‘that’s it baby’ ‘so pretty for me’ ‘keep making a mess for me’ as he dragged out your orgasm.

He drank up your creamy release as he pulled his fingers out, groaning into your cunt at the taste of you as your essence coated his palate. He only pulled away once you began to push at his head in sensitivity. His mouth detaching from your soaked cunt with a wet smack sound. “always so sensitive and responsive. I love that about you so much.” He cooed as he trailed kisses up your stomach, pulling off your shirt as he did.

He took a moment to just admire the sight of you completely bare underneath him. He took notice of every mole, stretch mark, faint scars, and embellishments on your skin. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen..” he breathed out in complete awe. You felt like your heart skipped a beat at hearing such a big compliment and you grew shy under his intense stares. “Oh hush…you’re just saying that because you’re horny..” you brushed him off.

He was quick to shake his head. “No. I really mean it. I’ve always thought so. I just never had the opportunity to tell you. You’re like my dream girl.” He expressed wholeheartedly as he looked into your eyes. You were at a loss for words, the gravity of his words hitting you and making you see Choso in a new light. Suddenly all his recent actions made sense, as you thought back on all the times in the past that he went out of his way for you.

All those times he also bought you a Valentine’s Day gift along with Jayla’s with the excuse that he ‘didn’t want you to feel left out’. The times that he buy you snacks and give you massages when you were on your period. The moments when he’d randomly text you and ask how your day was and if you had eaten. The rare times when you’d talk about something you wanted for the longest and think no one paid attention only for him to get it for you on your birthday. You were now wondering how you missed all the signs.

Without thinking anymore about it you grabbed Choso’s face and kissed him, pouring all the words you couldn’t say into the deep intimate kiss. He was grinning when the two of you broke the kiss. “So are you gonna fuck me or what? I know you didn’t come over here just to stare at me.” You joked and he laughed. “Yes ma’am.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He lived to appease you. He stripped himself down until he was bare and could feel your skin soft against his.

It was your turn to admire him and all his beauty. Your hands gently roamed his body as you analyzed all his tattoos and adornments on his skin. Choso loved all the attention you were giving him, not interrupting it at all so that he could savor it longer. He felt shivers coast his body the moment you wrapped your hand around his dick. “s’fat…” you muttered as you squeezed his dick, watching as precum dripped from the tip.

Your hand couldn’t fully fit around his cock due to how fat and heavy it was. He wasn’t the biggest but his girth made up for it. Choso grabbed your ankles and lifted your legs up, spreading you to his liking. He placed kisses on the soles of your feet, causing you to giggle since it tickled a bit. You lined his tip up with your pulsing hole and watched as he rocked his hips forward, slowly pushing into you and stretching you open.

You whimpered at the burning stretch, your hands moving to grip at Choso’s forearms — your nails digging into his skin. “You’re doing so good baby.” He praised you with a grunt as he fed your greedy cunt every inch of his dick. He rolled his hips into yours and did slow careful thrusts as he waited for you to adjust to his size. Your whimpers and whines gradually turning into moans and choked cries of pleasure. “m-more” you encouraged him with a moan.

He didn’t waste another second. He put your legs over his shoulders and pressed his weight onto the back of your thighs as he increased his pace. He was relentless as he pounded your weepy cunt into oblivion. “fuck..you feel so fucking good.” He moaned as his eyes fluttered shut — getting lost in the feel of your walls squeezing his dick. Your pussy creamed and gushed around his dick, emphasizing the lewd wet sound of skin slapping that enveloped your bedroom space.

“uhn ngh- keep fucking me, don’t stop” you moaned out as you became putty underneath Choso. Your mouth agape and your eyes rolled back in pure ecstasy as choso drove his cock into you at a fervent pace. The swollen head of his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust and making writhe in pleasure. “Yeah?. You like having my dick stuffing this pretty pussy?”

“Tell me how good it feels” He urged in between pants and moans. He was fishing for praises from you and you were happy to give them. “feels ah- so good baby, love ngh- feeling you so deep choso..” you cried and choso whined pathetically at your words. They fueled him to burrow his cock into you deeper and harder. “love fucking you..you were made for me..” he breathed out as he began placing open mouthed kisses to your breasts.

He sucked and nipped at your taut nipples as he continued feeding your cunt punishing strokes that had tears brimming your eyes. Your hands tangled into his messy sweaty hair as he marked your chest and neck in red purplish bruises — the possessiveness in him wanting to leave a visible claim on your skin. “You’re so damn perfect ugh ngh- I wanna be yours.” He whined into your neck.

“tell me I’m yours” he was begging now, drooling onto your skin as his dick slammed into your cervix - the pressure against your cervix making you scream out and wail. “y-you’re mine cho! oh my god- this dick is all mine.” You cried. “s’all yours princess. Just for you.” He mewled. “I broke up with Jayla.” he suddenly said, but your brain was not coherent enough at the moment to process the information.

“wha-what?” You managed to stutter out as your foggy brain caught up with his words. “I ended things with Jayla so that I can take my chance at being with you.” He further explained but it all sounded like gibberish to you when his dick was obliterating your insides. “J-Just ah mmhfp- shhh” you put your hand over his mouth to get him to stop talking. “Tell me later.” you told him and he let out a breathy laugh at your response.

“Are you gonna cum baby?” He hummed as he adjusted your position — moving your legs to rest comfortably around his waist. “m-mhm!” you nodded and tightly wrapped your legs around him to keep him nestled deep inside you. “Yeah?. Gonna make an even bigger mess for me?. You’re always so pretty when you cum.” He muttered against your lips as he gave your swollen sappy clit some attention — rubbing tight circles onto it as he fucked you senseless.

You couldn’t even think properly anymore let alone speak to even respond to him. The only sounds that left you were pathetic babbles and cries as your orgasm built up. You were already so wet — slick dripping down your ass crack and creating a puddle on your sheets. Choso’s dick was covered in a blanket of your frothy cream and his pre cum mixed together. The slippery essence making the slide of his dick into you near effortless as he adapted rhythm of pulling out all the way to the tip and slamming back into you hard.

The force behind his thrusts caused you to let out choked squeaks; your body jerking further up the bed with every thrust. Choso wrapped his free hand around your throat to keep you in place. “shit..you’re taking it s-so uhn fuck- well..” he moaned as he felt his own climax approaching. His tongue licked up the drool and tears that coated your cheeks. He was so captured by you and his cravings for you, he wanted you imbedded in his skin and in his soul.

Your orgasm came without warning — your mouth parted in a silent moan and your back bowed off the bed as you came hard. You drenched Choso’s lower abdomen and your inner thighs in your climax; adding to the already filthy mess the two of you created. Choso continued fucking you through your orgasm as he sloppily chased his own — his thrusts turning uncoordinated and desperate.

The way your cunt was pulsating and clenching around his sensitive cock was his undoing. He was a whiny whimpering mess as he came deep inside you, filling you up with ropes of thick milky cum. The two of you were breathing heavily in sync as you both let a moment of calm settle over the two of you. Choso slowly pulled out and moved to get up to clean you up, but you stopped him — wanting him to stay laid next to you.

It was very peaceful having him cuddled up to you and keeping you warm. There was a long moment of comfortable silence until you spoke. “Did you really break up with Jayla..?” you asked him softly. Your mind was finally in the right state to have this conversation. He nodded, “Right after you left her house. I know this is all pretty fucked up but it’s always been you for me. I think I thought my infatuation with you would pass but it only grew stronger over time.” He told you honestly.

“I should’ve broken up with her long before things reached this point and I acknowledge that. I also understand if you don’t want to pursue anything further with me.” He continued and you listened to him with an open mind and an open heart. “But I promise I won’t take it for granted if you give me a chance.”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

[drdemonprince]

Gender liberation, in the end, is not a war between the good group and the bad. It is a collective struggle against the laws, cultural norms, social rules, and institutional policies that restrict all people, and uses rigid gendered categories to keep us so restricted. 

I think if we are going to be able to move forward in this fight, trans men must abandon the notion that other men are fundamentally the “bad” gender — and that we don’t belong to that category because of our transness. We must embrace manhood as a state of both strength and profound lostness, an immense liability as much as it is a source of gender euphoric joy, and see the frustrated wanderings of other marginalized masculine people as of a piece with our own. 

And so, in the interest of helping us all find our way to each other, here are some of the major struggles that trans men and cis men have in common: 

Gender Dysphoria 

Many people believe the experience of having gender dysphoria is something like having a phantom limb, or seeing the wrong image in the mirror, but that’s rarely true. 

For a lot of trans people, gender dysphoria feels more like a maddening insecurity about how we look and how we are being perceived that seems to know no satisfaction, a mental itching that wanders all across our bodies, our faces, down our throats, across our hairlines, and even all over our clothes. It’s the uncertain sense we are not being ourselves correctly, an out-of-placeness that makes our very being feel like it has no right to exist.

Gender dysphoria is not caused by having the “wrong” gendered brain for one’s body (the notion of “male” and “female” brains is a myth), nor is it a mental illness afflicting only trans people. Rather, gender dysphoria is a pretty sensible trauma response to society’s unrelenting and coercive gendering. All people are categorized as a gender, assigned rules, and threatened with becoming less of a person should they fail to measure up. This means that even cisgender people can experience the terror of feeling that they’ve failed to enact their gender correctly and make themselves socially acceptable— a sensation that often gets called “gender dysphoria.” 

I think I first realized that cis people could be gender dysphoric when the actress Amanda Bynes revealed she had tumbled into a major depressive episode after watching herself portray a male character in the comedy She’s the Man. The disturbance she felt from watching herself enact the “wrong” gender sounded exactly like how I felt back when I looked in the mirror at myself as a “woman.” 

In 2019, when Jason Derulo complained about his bulge being removed with CGI for his role in the film Cats, I was reminded once again that cis people can feel utterly, dysphorically wrong in their bodies or how they are perceived. Each year, millions of cis people spend thousands of dollars on breast augmentations, jaw implants, hair plugs, and leg-lengthening surgeries, at least in part for gender dysphoric reasons, and if you’ve worn both male and female clothing before, you’ve likely recognized how much of the tailoring of garments is done to deliberately accentuate or even manufacture the gendered features of a person’s shape. 

Cis people feel ill-at-ease in their bodies, and fail to measure up to gender normative standards too. That’s how artificially constructed and harshly enforced these standards really are.

In recent years, I’ve spent a good amount of time in gay male bathhouses. When I reveal this fact, even to other gay men, I’m sometimes met with confessions of deep bodily insecurity. The idea of being nude in a highly gendered sexual marketplace often causes people’s worst gendered fears to bubble up. 

“I could never go to a place like that,” one cis gay man in his forties confessed to me. “My dick is too small. Nobody would ever want to look at me.” 

“I wouldn’t fit in there,” said another cis man, a short, effeminate type with long flowing hair. “They might think I was a girl and kick me out or harass me.” 

These men knew, of course, that I don’t have a penis, and can be mistaken for a woman from some angles. And I had just told each of them I’d never had any problem visiting the sauna. Yet they couldn’t shake the sense that I was doing manhood correctly enough, and they were somehow doing it wrong. Despite ostensibly being “cis,” they weren’t quite sure that manhood as a category could hold them as they really were — not when they were nude and vulnerable, surrounded by their idea of the proper man. 

Of course, having been in these spaces frequently, I could have told them that nobody there is the “proper” kind of man at all. There’s just regular human beings in there — with sunken chests, stretch marks, amputated limbs, multi-layered bellies, rounded backs, tiny hands, and eye patches. 

Over the years, cis men have shared dozens of gender dysphoric insecurities with me, about everything from the width of their shoulders to the length of their eyelashes to the way they hold a can of beer. And in some of the sections below, we will explore more specific examples, because these sources of dysphoria mirror trans men’s almost exactly. But it’s important to establish first that the major commonality across both groups of men is our fear we’re not being men correctly at all. 

Every man, I believe, grapples with the disjoint between their actual, complex human selves and the strong, built, stoic, powerful, masculine image that has been pushed upon us. And we fear living up to that standard because the consequences of that failure can be so harsh — these norms are quite violently imposed. 

Failing to be a man, in some sense, is what being a man actually means. We are united in the precarity of our position, as powerful as it is. A man in a tank-top with a bald spot sitting beside a lush pond. Photo by Beth Macdonald on Unsplash

Hair Insecurities 

“I wish I could grow a full beard so that I could pass better,” says Topher, a trans guy with long hair in his mid-twenties. “But I’m realizing that cis men with long hair get misgendered often too.” 

Dunmer, a bisexual trans guy, echoes this experience. “In this one chemistry class a few years ago, both me and this cis guy got called ma’am by a professor. I’m a rather effeminate/androgynous dude, but I have prominent facial hair. And the other guy who got misgendered was pretty masculine, but had long hair and was clean shaven. We both just kinda looked at each other and shrugged after it happened.” 

I’ve found that numerous cis and trans men harbor deep insecurities about their hair — where it’s growing, where it doesn’t, how it looks on their bodies, and where they might be losing it. It may sound like a frivolous subject at first blush, but hair is integral to gendered perceptions, as well as how others view our sexual attractiveness, race, and age. 

Trans men worry frequently about potential hair loss on T for more aesthetic reasons. I’ve known numerous trans masculine people who have avoided starting hormones because they’ve feared eventually going bald and becoming “less attractive.” And in this we aren’t alone, as 52 billion dollars gets spent each year (by people of all genders) on hair loss prevention treatments. 

“It’s helped me to realize that cis men are also scared of going bald,” says Topher. “When I worry about something gender-wise, I ask myself if cis men deal with what I deal with, and it’s helped me settle into my identity more.” 

Cis and trans men also share complicated feelings about body hair. Though being covered in a dark blanket of fuzz certainly reads as “masculine,” male beauty standards for the last several decades have eschewed hairiness in favor of a the glistening, action-figure-y look. Trans and cis men alike often fear that hair sprouting on their backs will make them unattractive, or that growing a “neckbeard” will be seen as slovenly. And it’s no coincidence that hairiness has often been linked with fatness and being racialized in many people’s minds — the uncontrolled proliferation of hair is often cast as animalistic, unclean, disgusting, less than human. 

But some men have sought refuge from such punishing standards within the gay Bear community. 

“I have never felt more welcomed in my masculinity than I have around other bears,” says Kody, a trans male bear. “I’m literally growing in my manhood — getting bigger, hairier, louder, taking up more space. While being really soft and tender too.” 

I wrote about the many struggles that unite trans and cis men, and how a deep appreciation for our commonalities is essential to the fight for gender liberation. You can read the full piece for free, or have it narrated to you by the Substack app, at drdevonprice.substack.com.

[gingernut1314]

Okay! Here me out! Head canons for s/o that tries to hide from Luffy because of his affection. Not because that hate it, they love it a lot. But because they get overstimulated and embarrassed by his pda.

I just think it would be funny that the rest of the crew seeing reader hide while Luffy is on the hunt for them.

Hiding Place

Content: gender-neutral reader, Straw Hat crew shenanigans, reader is overwhelmed, hiding from Luffy, Set on the Sunny

Word Count: 750+

A/N: tell me why this would be me in this scenario 😭? Snuggly, love bug luffy would be too great but there differently would be times when you might need a break! It's a normal thing! Also hiding while he's searching for you and the crew being the only ones to know where you are is lowkey too funny to me. I hope you enjoy!!

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You love Luffy

You love his affections too

But sometimes you need a break

Just small ones 

Moments when you didn’t have a human spider monkey clinging to you like a second-skin

And instead of just asking him for those breaks, you found the best solution with minimal feelings hurting would be to just hide

Hide the storage closets

In the library 

Under tables

Behind barrels of cola and beer

Anywhere you could think of that Luffy might never go or have to search just a little bit harder to find you at

This came with, of course, the other members of your crew finding you despite the…genius…of your hiding places

Sanji had been the first to ever find you when you had first started hiding

You had just given Luffy to Zoro

Had just set your mind on having a nice glass of wine when he had started calling for you

You hardly thought as you pushed your way into the kitchen and crawled under the table, making sure to drag chairs around to help block you from immediate view

…the kitchen was not the best hiding place of course, it being one of Luffy's number one places on the whole ship

Though, it was Sanji who peeked his head under to find you, not Luffy

“Whatever would possess you to scurry under there?” He’d ask with a smile 

You’d told him, to which he had given a simple nod before disappearing from view

He came back with that glass of wine you had been craving and a bowl of your favorite snack

“Stay as long as you need, love. I’ll give Luffy a nibble of lunch if he comes in.” 

Dear god never let Zoro find you

He’d out you in less than a second because he wouldn’t care to lower his voice while speaking with you

Or he wouldn’t hear your whispering words and “huh?” at you in question in, again, a none lowered voice

The best person to find you would be Robin

Typically she would find you in the library, crouched low by a bookshelf as to not be spotted through one of the windows

She would try to talk you through whatever you were experiencing and give you helpful tips

Then she would sit down next to you on the floor, pull a blanket over you and herself with a bloomed hand, and read silently

Nami would find you one too many times hiding under the vanity in the girl's room

 A “What on earth are you doing?” on her lips

As well as a “hiding again?” with a laugh at what she believed to be a poor hiding place

A hiding place you don’t think was so bad

And it would develop into a long debate on where exactly the best hiding place on the Sunny would be

Somehow you would lose a handful of berri and be left even more overwhelmed than you had started out 

Hiding behind a barrel of cola had been a good idea at first

But you would quickly find yourself in the employ of Franky who would make you carry said barrel wherever he needed it

And then make you hold a flashlight as he worked for at least an hour

Usopp might have been a runner-up to best person to find you 

If he wasn’t freaking himself out with whatever fictional monster he’s creating in his mind that you might be hiding from 

Almost always ends in him joining you in the one-person-sized hiding spot you’d chosen

Chopper would find you hiding under the examination table in the medical ward 

And scream so loud at your sudden appearance it would draw everyone's attention 

No matter how many times you hide under there, he’s never getting used to it

Brook finds you hiding amongst Nami’s tangerine trees and thinks all your nerves need is a smoothing tune

And there is no stopping him from singing for you 

And singing and singing till one crew mate or all of them are joining along

When Luffy finds you though, he thinks you are playing hide-and-seek

But he’s quick to see something isn’t 100% with you

And you end up telling him how you’re feeling--and being quick to remind him it has nothing to do with your love for him or his affections

And Luffy, the precious man he is, understands 

He gives you a bright, cheeky grin before bounding off 

To promptly latch himself to the nearest crew member he can find

[hgfictionwriter]

Self Control: Part Ten - Setback

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie suffers an injury during a game and has to navigate balancing her recovery and caring for you. She feels helpless as she tries to step up for you, but can't the way she wants to.

Warnings: Language. Slight angst.

A/N: Inspired by poor Jessie's injury during the Olympics. And everyone please knock on wood I'm not putting some bad mojo out there with this. Oh, and in this world Janine is still a Thorn 🙏 Rest of the series is here.

"-and Fleming is down. Oh, that looked like a hard hit. She's moving, but she's not getting up."

Football was a physical sport. She'd seen far too many friends ushered off the pitch to never fully, or sometimes even ever, return. She'd been extraordinarily lucky that she'd been more or less injury-free her career. However, sometimes she did take a few knocks.

Normally, she was most worried about the team anytime she was injured; that she was letting them down. But as you held her hand while she sat on the examination table in the medical assessment room, your eyes filled with concern and worry - at least for the short amounts of time she could manage to look at you; even with dimmed lights it was too damn bright - she felt most guilty about you.

"I'm confident we're looking at a Grade 2 concussion here," the team doctor said. "I'm not worried that we're into severe or Grade 3 territory. Y/N, I'm going to ask that you help monitor Jessie's symptoms and recovery over the next couple of weeks. If repeat vomiting occurs, extensive dizziness, or she's having prolonged confusion or headaches aren't improving, please contact me immediately."

Jessie had her eyes screwed shut. She tried to focus on her breathing and keeping herself steady as she attempted to will away the incessant pounding in her head. She opened them as the doctor finished speaking to see you nodding eagerly. Your eyes were trained on the woman before glancing back at Jessie and lifting her hand to give it a quick kiss.

"For the next couple of days - lots of rest. That means physical and mental. Very limited reading and screen time. And you're going to be really sensitive to lights and sounds, so a dark and quiet environment is best.

"Days three and four, you can start some light physical or mental activities again. Short, non-strenuous walks, for example. But listen to your body. Days five to seven, you can increase things a bit more, but-"

"We're moving in less than two weeks," Jessie interjected, wincing as she opened her eyes once more to look at the doctor. The doctor, who she knew well, gave her a look of warning, knowing where this was going.

"You should not be packing or moving furniture in two weeks," the doctor said firmly. "You can take on some light packing maybe 7-10 days from now, but carrying heavy boxes is out of the question."

Jessie shook her head and regretted it immediately, wincing sharply this time, a hand flying up to her temple as she grimaced in pain. Your hand came to her shoulder and she sat very still as she rode out a wave of pain.

"We'll hire packers," you told her sternly. "We already have movers anyway."

"No," Jessie returned stubbornly, still unable to open her eyes.

"Well, she's still coherent enough to argue with me, so I guess that's a good sign, right?" You relayed flatly to the doctor who chuckled.

"It is, actually," she said. "Y/N, you know my number. Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions. Jessie," Jessie felt the doctor's hand on her shoulder and she slowly blinked her eyes open to face her, "behave yourself. I know you like to be busy and I know you want to take care of your fiancée, but you'll be able to get back to that much sooner if you listen to your body and to me."

"Mm," Jessie voiced noncommittally.

The doctor chuckled and spoke to you again.

"Okay, you can take her home now. And with all of this urgency I didn't even have a chance to ask how you're doing. How much longer?"

"About two months left," you answered.

"Oh my gosh. Final stretch, hey? How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," you said. Jessie peeked an eye open to see your hand subconsciously rubbing your enlarged stomach while you continued to hold her hand in your other. "She's so active." You shot Jessie a sidelong, mildly teasing glance. "And at night in particular. I blame myself for that one - I'm the night owl of the two of us, so she must be getting that from me. But yeah, some of the third trimester symptoms are certainly popping up, but truly, I can't complain too much. Or shouldn't yet anyway," you finished with a smirk.

"Well, it'll be nice to get settled in your new place before the baby comes. I'm positive you'll sort out the logistics just fine," the doctor added pointedly and Jessie knew it was for her.

"That's the plan," you said. "It shouldn't be bad. We don't have too much stuff. Most of the furniture will be new and we're just getting all of it delivered after our move-in date."

"That's great. Well, Jessie, I will be seeing you in a week for a follow-up, but Y/N, if I don't see you anytime soon, I have my fingers crossed that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly. Can't wait to see pictures of your little one once she's born."

The walk out to the car was slow and tedious. Jessie tried to walk casually and easily, dismissing your supportive arm and wanting to walk on her own, but ended up bracing herself against a random car only ten feet in as she became disoriented. Your arms were around her in a second.

"Baby, come on. Don't be so stubborn. Put your arm around me," you told her both tenderly and firmly. Despite the medication the doctor gave her, her head was still pounding and she had to relent.

She was filled with self-contempt as you eased her into the passenger seat and gently closed the door, wary of both the jostling and sound.

"My baby," you cooed after you climbed in and were settled. You rubbed her thigh and placed the cold compress the doctor had given you into her hand. "Here, hold this against you. It'll help."

"I hate this," Jessie said, voice shuddering against her will.

"I know, love," you said gently. "Let's be grateful it's nothing more severe. I know that doesn't help you in this moment though. Let's get you home, alright?"

She opened her eyes to look at you. Your bump was nearly pressed against the wheel at this stage in your pregnancy.

Jessie sniffled and rubbed her face in aggravation. You shouldn't be taking care of her. You shouldn't be worrying about her. It should be the other way around.

Though you drove as steadily as you could the whole way home, even the slightest jostling or bumps sent pain through her. She gripped the seat tightly and breathed heavily as she fought off a persistent wave of nausea.

She leaned heavily on you despite herself as you both walked up to the apartment. You'd found a hat of hers in the trunk and put it on her to block out some of the lights she'd encounter on the journey up. She apologized repeatedly throughout the walk and you tutted in disapproval and shushed her.

You put her to bed and Jessie began sniffling again as emotions began to bubble up once more as she watched you going all around the apartment to get her set up and cared for.

At one point you were in digging through one of the bottom drawers in the bathroom for something. You held onto the counter with one hand to balance yourself and you huffed in exertion, your stomach very much in the way.

Jessie sat up, wanting to come over to help you. She grimaced as her head began to pound anew and her vision narrowed to a point. She swayed in bed for a second before she felt safe enough to move again. She'd only flung the covers off of herself and lowered her feet to the floor when you voice boomed from the other room.

"Jessie," your voice sharp and making her flinch. "Get back into bed," you said insistently, but much softer this time as you walked back over and gently pushed her back down. She whined and sniffled as you did so. You began to laugh and her eyes grew wide as she looked to you in disbelief.

"Why are you laughing?" Jessie asked, her voice so much weaker than she intended.

"You're being silly," you said through a residual laugh. "You're so stubborn. You were levelled onto the pitch, nearly unconscious, less than two hours ago. Please, just relax tonight. Can you do me that favour?"

"I should be helping you," she went on, her voice up an octave as she fought through emotion.

"You can help me by resting," you told her patiently. "Oh, I have to text your parents back. They're worried about you."

She really wasn't in the right state of mind, because suddenly she felt her face screw up and she began sobbing, made worse by the physical pain the action triggered inside of her.

"Jess," your tone gentle and inquiring, but clearly in shock at the sudden outburst. You sat down next to her immediately and began caressing her head. "What's going on?"

Jessie winced in pain as her shoulders shook while she cried.

"Oh my gosh," you said, underlying concern in your voice as you began to rub her back and you took her hand. "Is it your head? What can I do, baby?"

"I'm letting you down," Jessie forced out, breath hitching at the end of her sentence. "I should be taking care of you."

"Oh my God. Babe, stop that," you said gently, but urgently. "You're not letting me down at all. You take care of me all the time. You're injured. It's okay."

"I'm not a good partner," she sobbed. She heard the sound of surprise from you, but she couldn't stop herself. "I'm not around enough. And that's bad enough. And now we're having a baby? I'm never going to be around. I'm going to be an absent parent. And even if I'm here, I might be injured and you'll have to take care of us both."

"Jess. Oh my God," you said in bewilderment as you rubbed her back further. "Baby, please. None of those things are true. Take a breath."

You placed a hand on her chest, pressing firmly and somehow it immediately caused her to slow her breathing. She brought her hand to yours and clutched it tightly.

"Breathe," you said patiently. "It's going to be okay."

Within those few moments, Jessie's breathing began to normalize and she felt her pulse slow once more. She exhaled and the tightness she'd held in her brow relaxed with it.

"It's okay, baby. Just breathe," you coaxed softly as you continued to rub her back and hold your hand and hers to her chest.

Her eyes remained closed as she let you calm her. Her shoulders hitched periodically with a residual cry, but eventually, she sniffled and opened her eyes to look up at you. The room was dark, but she could still make out your features.

"I don't want to let you down," she whispered, voice still trembling as her throat tightened once more, emotions threatening to spill over once more.

"You never let me down," you told her resolutely. "Ever. And I mean that." You let those words sink in before carrying on. "You are the absolute best partner I could ever hope for."

Jessie watched quietly as you smiled, but it faltered. Looking closer she saw tears starting to form in your eyes.

"I'm serious. You know my family. My parents marriage was absolute shit. I didn't know - for a long time - that relationships could be good. That they should be. The way you love me, the way you care for me, is something I didn't even want to hope for because it seemed so impossible. And then even if it was possible, there was no way I'd find someone like that for me. That I would deserve to be loved like that."

"Babe-" Jessie went to interject, but you stopped her.

"When I tell you you're incredible, I really mean it. You're far more than I could've ever hoped or dreamed for. You show me more love and affection in a day than I felt for years at a time. I swear. So please don't ever worry about letting me down."

Jessie was sniffling now, blinking tears onto her pillow and she lifted your hand to kiss it, holding it there against her lips and clutching you tightly. She hated that you felt that way for so many years. And though she was happy that she could make you feel loved like that, it broke her heart, too. She just couldn't fathom someone not loving you wholly and completely.

You leaned down and kissed her forehead, removing your hand from her back to caress the side of her face. You chuckled lightly, speaking against her forehead.

"Short of cheating on me or having some secret family on the side, you could never let me down."

"Babe," Jessie complained, shifting her head to try to look at you. "I would never do that."

"Just saying," you said lightly as you sat back up. "That's the line. For clarity purposes - even if you fell out of love with me and chose to end things, you still wouldn't be letting me down. I'd be devastated, of course, but I would respect that and still love you."

"Babe," Jessie started whimpering again and you consoled her.

"Okay, okay," you placated. "Last thing. Yes, you travel. Yes, you'll be away sometimes. And yes, it is possible that you could get injured again. But that's okay. Of course, I don't want you to get injured, but because I love you. You need to understand that we're partners. We take care of each other.

"And lots of parents travel for work. I know you sometimes forget, but I'm pretty independent and I'm capable," you smirked. "Plus, we have lots of support in case I or our daughter need anything while you're away. What stands out most to me is our daughter will grow up seeing her mom pursue what she loves, working hard to be the best as what she does, and inspiring a new generation of players. That means so much and I wouldn't change it."

You laid another kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest, baby. I love you so much. I'm going to take care of a few things, but I'll be back soon and we can lay together, okay?"

She gave a faint noise of acceptance and you rose from the bed, pushing off slowly, now having to lean back and get your balance to counter the weight of the baby. Jessie's hand shot out to brace your back, and though you delivered a stare her way after you were steady, it dissolved into a smirk.

"See? You're still helping me."

------

The week dragged on so horribly slowly for Jessie. She was so frustrated and upset with herself. She would've always wanted to be able to get up and go, do things, but especially now. You’d taken over essentially all of the household chores and errands and she felt exponentially guilty.

One day you came home, shuffling through the door with bags of groceries hanging off your arms. Jessie shot up off the couch to help you, but her vision began to peter out. She paused a few steps in to brace herself against a nearby chair.

"Jessie," you chided.

She could hear you putting down the various bags. And she pre-emptively put up her hands in defense. "I'm fine." When she opened her eyes again, she was met with a disapproving look from you. She dropped your gaze immediately.

"Sit down, please," you instructed.

"I can help you put everything away," she insisted as she tried to push past you, only to have you hold her back.

"Jess," your voice was curt and she knew you meant business. She could feel your gaze burning into the back of her head and she forced herself to look at you. You went on softer this time. "I'm sure you could help me with groceries. But I'm fine. Honestly. You can help me most by doing as your doctor said, and taking it easy."

She was contemplating a rebuttal, which you saw it coming from a mile away and you continued.

"Don't make me resort to tactics of emotional warfare," you said sarcastically and Jessie huffed, recalling how you told her the other day that the more you had to wrangle her, the more your daughter kicked and squirmed and tired her out.

Jessie sighed begrudgingly and collapsed into the couch, an instant pang shooting through her head at the jarring motion. Served her right for being petulant, she thought ruefully. Despite her antics, she felt your hand caress the side of her head.

"It's like a preview into parenting," you joked before kissing her head and returning to the groceries. Jessie opened her eyes and glared at your retreating form.

"Yeah? Are you going to threaten our kid with guilt trips, too?" She'd meant it as a bit of a snide joke, but immediately regretted her words as soon as she'd said them. Your movements stilled and you slowly turned back to face her, your expression one that made Jessie sink further into her seat.

"Do not start with me, Jessica."

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "That was uncalled for."

"You're still injured. A brain injury at that," you replied as you went back to the bags before giving her a pointed look. "I'll chalk it up to that. You get one freebie."

Jessie was silent as she watched you work. Your movements were laboured at times and she see how much effort it took to do certain tasks. Still, it was true, you managed just fine.

When you were finished, you returned to the living room and sat heavily next to her, a sigh of relief on your lips as you leaned back. You were short of breath, and Jessie looked away quickly when you felt her watchful gaze and peeked open at eye at her. You held out a hand, gesturing for her to relax.

"She's pushing against my diaphragm; it's making it harder to breath, it's not a big deal," you reassured her pre-emptively. You placed your hands on the cushions and pushed yourself up to sit straighter before you met her eyes again. You took her hand.

"I know you want to help. But you have to pace yourself. You can't spring up and sprint over, or you can't be up and down trying to pack and lift things. Not right now. You know better than that," you said gently.

"I already texted Janine and Kelli about packing. They agreed to come over tomorrow," she pouted, spurred on by another failed attempt of hers yesterday. You sighed and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you for doing that. I feel much better about that approach," you told her.

"I'm sorry," Jessie said, fingers fidgeting as she remained slumped on the couch. She sat up and gave you a hopeful look. "I'm feeling better every day, though. I'll be able to help out a lot more around the house soon."

You gave her a patient look and cupped her face in your hands.

"I'm pregnant - not infirm. Did you know...there are thousands of women, for one reason or another, who do this alone? I am very, very lucky that I have you and you’ve been so attentive and wonderful. But there are many women who manage all by themselves. I can do the same - not even, actually, since you’re still here and supportive - for a couple of weeks."

Despite your words of reassurance, Jessie's face fell and she snuggled into you, resting her head on your shoulder. She frowned as she felt your body jostle with a soft chuckle as you wrapped your arms around her. You kissed the crown of her head.

"My sweet baby," you chuckled further against her though she groaned. "Don't worry. A few weeks from now when I'm complaining 24/7 and can barely get out of bed, you'll be relishing these moments."

--------

True to their word, the next day Kelli and Janine were over and were making serious progress on packing up the apartment under Jessie's and your watchful eye.

Despite their help, it was a struggle for Jessie. She was very particular about things like this and she wanted things packed up and organized in specific order and way. With some coaching from you, she'd had to let some of that go, but it wasn't easy.

She and you packed up the lighter things, but anything heavy, and particular full boxes, were left to the girls. And what upset her even more was that she was having trouble focusing. Between all of the lights - clearly, none of you could pack in the dark - and physical exertion, she found herself having to take more breaks than she liked and you'd had to take over quite a bit in directing the girls.

Still, when she was able to, she tried.

"Oh, that needs to go over here," Jessie interrupted as Kelli was setting down a box in the obviously wrong pile. Kelli rolled her eyes good-naturedly and picked up the box once more with a heaving motion, balancing it against her thigh as she adjusted her grip before moving it to the appropriate area.

"Better, princess?" She asked, eliciting a scowl out of Jessie. She knew Kelli was just joking, but it was grating on her. Kelli called her that a few times now, along with a couple of other cracks in that vein.

Her friends, throughout her entire life, had always loved teasing her. Maybe it was the way she blushed when she got flustered or worked up, but people just seemed to love poking at her. Normally, she took it in stride, but it was hard to laugh them off today.

She had all of this mapped out and was fully ready to tackle it alone. Did Kelli think she wanted to ask them for help? No. She hated it.

You were supposed to have your feet up without a worry while she took care of it all. Instead, you were on your feet, packing alongside them and doing more than your fair share of directing and corralling. She saw how you stood there, a hand on your back as you caught your breath, a veiled wince now and then. She could see how sore and tired you were getting.

Her stare followed Kelli as she bounded back over to Janine to gather up some more items. Jessie could feel the heavy tension between her shoulder blades and she felt her face and ears growing hot. She took a steadying breath, she knew this feeling; if she wasn't careful she'd be blinking back tears soon.

She released a slow, deep breath as she returned her attention to the box in front of her and labelled it accordingly. She was setting down the marker when out of the corner of her eye she caught you waving Kelli over. She watched as you spoke in a hushed tone to her and nodded to the other room.

Jessie frowned as she watched you two retreat. Something seemed off, confirmed when you partially closed the door behind you. Jessie quietly padded over and held her ear close to the opening. She whipped her head around, gritting her teeth momentarily at the way the sudden motion aggravated her symptoms, when she felt Janine sneak up, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What's going on?" Janine mouthed, ever curious. Jessie shrugged the girl's hand off her shoulder tempermentally.

"I don't know," she mouthed back with a mild glare. Janine rolled her eyes and they both leaned in.

"-I appreciate your help. I know you don't have to be doing this. But you need to stop making jokes. She already feels bad enough. She doesn't need you making cracks at her expense. She wouldn't do that to you if situations were reversed. So stop. Please."

Jessie's stomach sank. Now you were defending her as well. She went to push the door open, but Janine pulled her back and away, well out of earshot.

"Let it go," Janine told her.

The emotions Jessie had been working to keep at bay just minutes ago were now raging forward. Her ears were burning and she sniffled.

"Jess," Janine warned her with underlying care in her voice. She knew the last thing Jessie would want right now is to have an emotional meltdown. Janine placed her hands on Jessie's shoulders and spoke calmly, but firmly. "It's fine. Nothing to get worked up about. Y/N loves you a ton. She's being a mama bear to you right now. And fair enough. You're not feeling well, so she's looking out for you. Kelli's a big girl. She'll get it. She'll be fine."

Jessie sniffled and folded her arms against herself.

"It just sucks," she said as she worked to regain her composure.

"I know," Janine said as she patted her on the shoulder. "You'll be all better soon though. Take it easy on yourself." She smirked. "Y/N said you were planning to paint a few rooms in the new place a couple weeks from now. You're on your own for that."

Although she fought it, Jessie had to laugh. She was about to comment when she noticed the door open behind Janine and you and Kelli stepped out. She studied you both and to her surprise nothing seemed odd.

Janine followed her gaze and looked back at her with a wink before going back to help Kelli, who, at least as far as Jessie could see, was in fine spirits.

You must've noticed Jessie's behaviour because you soon approached.

"Everything okay, babe?" You asked.

She looked to you, her gaze eventually falling to your rounded stomach. She placed her hands on your pronounced bump and ran a thumb lovingly along it before lifting her gaze back up to you and all of the boxes around; a physical manifestation of the new chapter you both were starting together. She smiled at you.

"Yeah. Everything's good."

[lovedrruunk]

'A Fresh Start 𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐[part v]

powder finally made it to the hangout stage (good for her!), and guess she never really realized how good talking to you one on one would feel. [part iv]

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ < banger song inspo!!

Powder shuffled along the stone sidewalk, her head down and her hands buried in her worn jacket pockets. The town square was deafening. The noise of it all was something she just couldn’t seem to get adjusted to. Sure, the undercity was loud, people yelling, arguing, running, sounds she was used to, sounds easy to block out. But this?

Easy laughter, happy chatter, meaningless conversation just for the sake of it. It was like a ringing in her ear, irritating her brain as if she wasn’t meant to hear it, like her ears weren’t developed enough to process it. 

Looking up at the people passing by she noticed how all of their faces were unfamiliar. Either she’d never met them, never looked them in the eye, or had totally forgotten about them. She wanted to feel bad about it but she just… couldn’t. All the faces here seemed so generic, like NPCs in a video game. Every face just seemed like a blur. Every face but one.

“Powder!”

And suddenly the ringing in her ear stopped. Your face wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t part of the background. It was clear, vivid, impossible to ignore. You were smiling at her, waving like you’d been waiting to see her. For a second, she didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just stood there like an idiot, staring back. 

It happened. In less than a week, the interaction she’d dreamed of had… actually happened.

It was a weird feeling, to watch the scene she pictured in her head constantly play out before her in real time. You called her name and waved her hello, because you knew her, because you were here to see her this time, not the baker, not the merchant, not your neighbors. The realization made her lips twitch upward and before she could stop herself, a goofy smile spread across her face. She probably looked ridiculous, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” You asked, catching your breath.

“No, don't worry, I just got here.” She said quickly, shaking her head.

It was a total lie of course. She had been waiting long, long enough to overthink, to second-guess whether she should’ve shown up at all, and to count the cracks in the sidewalk. But it didn’t matter now. You were here, and somehow, that made the waiting feel insignificant, like it had been worth it.

You smiled, not questioning her answer, and pointed down the street casually. “I was thinking we could head down to the river.” you said, like the thought had just popped into your head. “It’s quieter there. I know the noise here can be a lot sometimes.”

Powder blinked, startled by how easily you seemed to know her, like you’d figured out something she hadn’t even put into words yet herself. She hesitated for a moment, her hands still shoved deep into her pockets, before nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”

You started walking, and she followed you without a word, just like she always had. Except this time she wasn’t sneaking around, because you had been walking together. At first, it felt strange. Her pace awkward, her head down, unsure of what to say or do. But you didn’t seem bothered by her silence, didn’t rush her to keep up or pressure her to fill the space between you. You just…walked, calm and easy, without a second thought.

The town square got quieter and quieter, replaced by the faint sounds of nature, birds chirping, the occasional rustle of leaves, and the distant sound of flowing water. Powder glanced up as they rounded a corner, catching the sight of the river. 

The water wasn’t super deep where you guys were, she could see the smooth rocks under the water from afar, some sticking out a little. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen water this clean or blue. The sun was out, but not in an annoying way. Just enough to keep things warm without making her squint. The wind was nice too, just enough to ruffle her hair, the perfect balance of warm and cool. The only sounds she could hear now was the soft splashing of water and chirping of birds 

For a second, she thought about how different it felt here. Like the world had slowed down just for you two. She glanced over at you and caught you smiling, like you’d been here a thousand times, like this was just another day for you.

When you reached the riverbank, you didn’t hesitate. You spotted a bench with a clear view of the water, sat down like it was your favorite spot in the world, and gestured for her to join you.

“See? Way better.” you said with a grin, stretching lazily.

Powder lingered for a second, her eyes flicking between the bench and the water, before finally sitting down. Stiffly. Like she’d never sat down a day in her life, or like the bench might break just to spite her. She looked around, her arms stuck to her sides, half expecting something to go wrong.

But nothing did.

The river kept flowing, and the trees kept swaying. The world didn’t seem to care that she was sitting there, that she felt out of place.

And then there was you.

You didn’t seem to care either, not in a bad way, but in a way that made her feel like it didn’t matter if she was awkward or didn’t know what to say. You were just… there. Sitting beside her, relaxed, watching the water like it was the only thing that mattered.

Powder shifted slightly, her arms relaxing a little. She wasn’t used to quiet like this, the kind that wasn’t filled with tension or internal voices, the kind that didn’t demand anything from her.

She still felt a little off, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But for the first time in a while, it felt like maybe… maybe nothing had to go wrong.

“So, how are you liking the town?” You asked, breaking the silence.

She thought about it for a bit. It was such a simple question yet she had no idea how to answer it. Where would she begin? It was nice sure, peaceful, lively, the perfect place to settle, but how did she like it? Guess she never really thought about it. 

She liked her cabin. She made it her own and it felt nice to have a place to herself. She liked the market, even though she was always quick to scurry out of there. She liked the kids in town, she’d sometimes linger by a little longer and listen in on their conversations. Sometimes they’d be arguing over something stupid like who won which game, other times they’d be happily chasing each other around. She liked you, of course.

Sometimes she wondered what it would’ve been like if she had moved here earlier, before everything went wrong. It was a selfish thought really, but one she found herself often staying up picturing. Afterall, she knew someone who would’ve loved to play with the kids in town. She would’ve liked you too, would’ve liked this new life.

“It’s nice.” She muttered, keeping her eyes on the moving water. 

“Seriously…? That’s it?” 

That made her chuckle. She turned her head to look at you with a small smile and furrowed brows.

“What? It is nice.” She exclaimed

You stayed silent, rolling your eyes with a small ‘hmph’ looking away. 

“It’s also… new.” She continued after a small bit of silence. “Believe it or not, I’d never seen a forest before coming here… oh, or water this pretty.” she added absentmindedly as she took in their surroundings.

“Oh right, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did you live before you came here?” You asked curiously as you turned to look at her again.

There it was, the dreaded question. Well, one of them. There were a lot of questions she was dreading. But she figured this one would come up sooner than later. 

It wasn’t like Zaun was known for its great living conditions.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn't nervous, she didn’t know how you’d react to her being from somewhere so… Scary? Dirty? Horrible?... she figured any one of those could work. A part of her was tempted to lie, say she was from Piltover or somewhere else that's fancy and shiny, but she knew she couldn’t do that to you, lying now? So early into your conversation? No way. And besides, she doubted she could stomach the idea of calling herself a Piltie.

Her throat felt dry, and her voice came out quieter than she intended.

“I… I’m from Zaun.”

“From where now?”

“The Undercity.”

There was a pause.

“Piltover.”

Still nothing.

She blinked at you, deadpan. “The ‘City of Progress’?”

Your expression lit up in sudden recognition. “Oh! With the Hex Portals?”

She didn’t even have the heart to correct you… 

Your confusion confused her, but she wasn’t exactly mad about it. It was... surprising, in a good way. Guess all that worrying was for nothing. She couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of comfort in your cluelessness, like it drew an even thicker line between her past and her present.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” you said, your voice casual like this was just small talk. “Hm. It’s a long way from here, though. What made you leave?”

Her body stiffened. What was it with you and these dreaded questions? She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting back to the river.

As much as she wanted to be annoyed at you for asking the one thing she wanted to avoid, she knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t the question that was the problem, it was her answer. Anyone else might’ve taken it as a casual, perfectly normal thing to ask. The issue wasn’t you. The issue was her.

She opened her mouth, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing felt right. Her chest tightened

Thankfully, you seemed to catch on to her hesitation. Your voice softened. “It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. I get it.”

She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until that moment. Her shoulders relaxed slightly, and she gave you a small nod, grateful you didn’t push for more.

“Well,” you continued, leaning back on the bench with a smile “whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here now,”

She smiled again, her heart warm-

“even though you were kinda creepy at first.”

“What!?” Her head snapped towards you.

“Why is this surprising? You were like totally stalking me. Kinda had me worried.” You said casually with a laugh.

“Well- I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to be creepy.” She said defensively. “I just thought you were cool…”

Your teasing grin faltered, replaced by a look of surprise.

You blinked, clearly taken aback. “Oh.”

Powder winced, feeling like she’d just made things worse.

“Oh?” she repeated, nervously twisting her fingers together.

“Sorry, just didn’t expect that.” you said, your voice softer now, glancing down at the ground.

Her eyes darted away. “Was that... weird to say?”

“No, no,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “I mean,” You laughed a little, still processing. “I didn’t think I’d come off as cool to anyone, let alone you.”

Her brows furrowed, she almost looked…offended. “Why not?”

You shrugged, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. “I don’t know. I think I’m pretty average overall. My life’s pretty mundane.” You said looking towards the sky absentmindedly. “No mysterious backstory, no crazy hair.” You finished with a laugh as you looked back at her again, only to be taken aback when you were met with a stern face.

“That’s what makes you cool.” She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You just sat there staring at one another. Her face still serious and yours all the more surprised. 

“If you say so…”

Powder nodded sharply. “I do say so.”

Then you smiled, like you weren’t sure whether to laugh or say thank you

“Well... thanks, I guess,” you said finally.

.     .     .

The sun was starting to set now, the gentle sound of the river filled the quiet, and Powder found herself feeling lighter than she had in a long time.

“It’s nice here,” she said, almost to herself.

You glanced over at her. “Yeah. It is.”

You leaned forward, tilting your head to get a good look at her. “We should do this again sometime. Y’know, hang out.”

Powder blinked, looking over at you. The casual way you said it made her chest ache in that strange, unfamiliar way again. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I’d like that.”

You smiled at her, a small, genuine one that made her stomach flip. Then you stood up, stretching contently.

“Come on,” you said, reaching out a hand to her. “We should head back before it gets dark. Can’t have you tripping over something.”

Powder rolled her eyes, smiling back. “I’ll have you know, I’m very good at walking.”

“Yuh huh,” you teased, grabbing her hand to pull her up anyway. “Whatever you say creep.”

“Ugh.”

. . .

"next part will def be out before new years!" i said knowing damn well it wouldnt be LMAO guys pls i have a life outside of tumblr OH MY DAYSSSS shocker ik

anyways sry this took long (i rewrote it TWICE) im actually not thattt happy with it STOP I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE BOOS AND TOMATOES BEING THROWN ik guys im never satisfied BUT TO POST SOMETHING I TRULY LIKE IT WOULD TAKE A WHOLE 2 MONTHS AT LEAST

ALSO THE STORY IS COMING TO AN ENDDD IM HEARTBROKEN TOO BUT BUT BUT DW I still plan on writing for this "au" or wtv, ill make a separate post explaining why/how ;P

THX SM FOR STILL READING I LOVEEEEEE U GUYSSS BYEBYE XOXOXO KISSKISSKISS

p.s ik jinx leaving zaun before act 2 wouldve been pointless cuz she needed the closure i just wanted to write abt her thinking abt it ;P

notes r appreciated ofc (˶ > ₃ < ˶)

[taglist ( ;´ - `;)!!]

@cattjull @kenqki @powderbomb-jinxed @iamastar @lostdreamingwallflower @errorlovernotfound99 @raven437 @cartalige @poncho-fisch @crushh-existz @slxtcity @jinxslapdog @radioheadfan699 @alduinworldeater11 @dulleyeddreamer @alicenasflowers

[USERS I CANT TAG 4 SUM REASON (◞‸◟；)]

@sacrasm-is-my-form-of-attack @wonylvxv @luvs4rc0r3

[alcoholfreenayeon]

yow what abt twice mtls? confess first, fall in love, get jealous, fall out of love. great jeongyeon hc btw

Twice most to least likely: Get jealous

A/N: I feel some of these ended up sounding more yandere than jealous🙂‍↕️ but hopefully that’s just me😭hope you guys like it

Sana

She’s a huge flirt, she likes the way she can get people to be infatuated with her plus she likes to play hard to get.

Because of this she’s not used to people seeing her as a second choice so when she sees her partner having a good time with someone else when she’s available or even when she isn’t, it makes her feel strange.

It’s uncharted territory for her and she feels possessive immediately. After all what does the other person possess that Sana doesn’t. Why isn’t her partner yearning for her every moment instead of having a good time without her…

Nayeon

You’ll find Nayeon staring daggers at you with or without a polite smile. It’s really not a fun sight to witness because you just know you are in so much trouble later.

Nayeon feels very possessive of you. She’s someone who needs a lot of reassurance so you being clingy with anyone other than her doesn’t bode well with her.

Though she ends up feeling a bit silly after some time thinking for being so possessive she can’t help it, she wants you for herself and only herself.

Mina

Mina is a big introvert and she likes to stay indoors alot and keep to herself. But she knows she can’t really force you to do the same.

Nevertheless, she secretly wishes you would be that way. She’d prefer if she could have you all to herself. If it’s only you and her, all day everyday,

She feels sometimes she’s not good enough and that might make you drawn to others and hence gets her guard up immediately when she sees you being close with someone she doesn’t know.

Momo

You were happily chatting with your friend while waiting for Momo. You had known her for a long time, you didn’t take much notice of it when while laughing at a joke, she put her hand on your arm.

Soon enough, her instincts began to scream for danger and upon looking around, she spotted Momo a few meters away, glaring at both of you. “Is that your girlfriend?”…..

The journey back home was quiet. You realized how that might have looked out of context and were fearing Momo saw it differently. She was quiet though. “Everything ok baby?”, you ask her.

“Yes. But you need to sleep early and rest well”, she replies. “Huh? Why do I need extra rest?”, you question. “Well the couch isn’t very comfortable to sleep on is it”, she answers, unbothered, as she looks into the rearview mirror and applies her lipstick.

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung and you were surprised to run into your ex at the mall. It was a bit awkward for the three of you but luckily there was no violence.

She hated how you and your ex became awkward because for her that meant you both saw each other and intentionally or unintentionally reflected back on the time you both were together.

She hated when while leaving, you both shared an inside joke which she didn’t know. Chaeyoung knew it’s just how these things go but that didn’t make her blood boil any less.

Tzuyu

Tzuyu is observant, she doesn’t always speak out, never mind her speaking her mind.

So when she was looking at your Instagram and spotted old posts of you and your ex, it just made her quite upset.

But she also knew it was the past yet she also thought you could have deleted it. After all wasn’t the ex was no longer part of your life.

Dahyun

Dahyun was watching you talk with the party’s host. It was normal. The two of you seemed to be getting along well.

She was standing a few feet away, getting something to drink when she suddenly heard the host make a suggestive flirty comment towards you. You didn’t realize it and just laughed along,

Dahyun though, gritted her teeth, it’s annoying that you always are so oblivious to these things. She’s gonna scold you for that later, as for the host…well, it’s a good thing her nails felt sharp right now.

Jihyo

Jihyo knows her worth and she knows you know it too. So she’s never really worried about someone else stealing you away.

But after watching some dramas, she got a bit influenced by them and began to worry that she didn’t like you as much as she thought or wanted because why wouldn’t she ever feel jealous. It was normal for couples to feel jealous at some point right?

And when she asked you to try and flirt with a cashier because she wanted to test something, you definitely felt it was a test. It took a lot of convincing from her and a promise that you wouldn’t get in trouble. Reluctantly you did it but when the cashier actually ended up giving you her number. Jihyo took your hand and dragged you out of the store without even buying anything. You were in big trouble.

Jeongyeon

Jeongyeon never has any real reason to doubt you. She knows you both love each other very much.

Of course, it’s inevitable that at some point either of you would get approached by someone else. It won’t be your or her fault if that happens.

But that’s easier to think when it hasn’t happened. When a fellow idol told Jeongyeon that she was lucky to have you and she should be careful you could get stolen. Though Jeongyeon was polite, her glare she ended up shooting at them later would have scared them silly.