#idk I’m too tired to go deeper into this rn

[the-dalseum-duet]

satis writing an ACTUALLY CANON SCENE??

OH GOD!! what has gotten into her?? (hint: it starts with an “A” and ends with a “merican politics”)

anyway. i’ve wanted to write this scene for a while but finding the right words to do it is very difficult. it’s kind of awkward but. y’know what. it’s okay it gets the idea out there. it’s ok for art to be messy and not perfect. a byproduct of the lore overhaul, please enjoy a glimpse into Dalseum’s history and a tiny exploration into Noeul’s thought process (with even more in the tags bc I love talking abt him. fascinating fascinating man)

“THIS is your man?” tag @svwhssftr (directed at kai) (sorry to flashbang you w political commentary after talking abt sex for like a day straight)

In the blink of an eye, it all went dark. The flashing cameras, the smug glances sharper than knives the Council shot into the crowd, the glitter of the afternoon sun on The Palace’s floors— all of it. It was reduced to nothing but cold, damp darkness. 

The safety of the quiet was unnerving. Charlie’s mind clawed at the imaginary walls to escape into the dazzling ocean of the paparazzi, but her body remained idle. Her body instinctively leaned in closer to Noeul. 

He lit a match from inside his coat’s pocket—illuminating what may have been a teardrop on his cheek— and flicked it into some long and hollow metal contraption. It caught the insides and exploded into a river of crackling blue flames, revealing a mossy labyrinth of walls and chambers. It was all so empty, except for the smell of burning oil.

“There’s a lot of history in here,” Noeul whispered, removing his coat to crouch beside the aqueduct of stagnant oil. 

Charlie didn’t say a word. Her eyes were transfixed on the blurry mass of granite awaiting her. 

“We were Korean territory until the Silla dynasty. Most of the peninsula was unified under their rule, so Dalseum was naturally the next step. The warriors from the mainland tried to overtake us, but we slaughtered them. They underestimated us.”

“The hell does that have to do with this?” Charlie choked. 

“Dalseum was under the rule of its only empress in history. Her army commanded such respect that the Korean warriors fled after the first battle, and then Dalseum was forgotten to time. After the unification, they had more pressing issues than a small island with few resources.”

Charlie looked back at him, her infuriated eyes glinting in the firelight. 

“But the Dalseum government couldn’t have predicted their cowardice. They constructed a hideout underground in case of an emergency. The layout makes no sense because it’s meant to be a maze. If the officials themselves could barely figure it out, then their enemies had no chance.”

“But why are we here?” 

“You know how the Japanese imperialists occupied Korea during World War II?”

“Uh-huh.”

“A small Imperialist faction conquered Dalseum shortly before the war ended. Our bohemian government was unprepared for violent military conflict, so it crumbled. They turned our history into prison cells. The Japanese locked away everyone who dared to resist them—members of my own family, especially. These walls have seen torture you can’t even imagine.”

“You’re saying this is my prison now?”

“Welcome home, doll.” Noeul almost smiled. The fire, despite being feet away, burned Charlie’s face. 

“After the war ended, the Japanese soldiers returned home. They behaved like monsters, but they were humans with families and children. What was left of the original local government was in shambles, and my great-great-grandfather took advantage of the ruins. These halls haven’t been used as a prison ever since. We haven’t needed to use them.”

“I don’t understand, then. Why are you keeping me here?” 

“Because otherwise you’d be dead, Charlie.” Noeul shakily breathed. “If some force threatens Dalseum, it’s our right to kill it in the name of self-defense. My ancestors single-handedly poisoned dozens of the Japanese invaders. Dalseum wouldn’t exist without us. I have every right to exert my power on someone like you. I’m only showing you mercy because I love you.”

“But you love your tradition built upon oppression more.”

“Oppression?” Noeul laughed. “My family freed our people.”

“But they destroyed the old government— the one that persisted for centuries.”

“The values on which Dalseum was built were no longer effective. The feeble monarchy was nothing but show businesses, anyway. If we want to stay afloat, we can’t risk losing what we have to the uninformed decisions of an outsider. We nearly lost everything to a fascist regime— I can’t let history repeat itself.”

You’re no better than them if you imprison those who disagree with you, Charlie thought, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. The walls of firearms lining Noeul’s walls flashed in her head.

“Surely, you understand my reasoning.” Noeul brushed a stray curl out of her quivering eyes.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t imprison me,” Charlie laughed. She had to laugh— she’d kill him if she didn’t. 

“If you loved me, then you wouldn’t have broken the one fucking law you had to follow.”

“I don’t love you,” Charlie said. “Not anymore, at least, but that should have no bearing on my freedom. On my existence.”

“I don’t care how you feel about me,” Noeul lied. “You sowed discourse in the Council—the one thing left of my father’s administration after he died— you deliberately cheated on me with another Council official, and you tried to start some petty little uprising once you started to face the consequences. You brought this all upon yourself.” 

“I didn’t try to start shit!” Charlie exclaimed, “I spoke out about Dalseum’s ridiculous policies and your treatment of me. You slept with the person who tried to assassinate me while we were still engaged, Noeul! I had no control over how people responded to the truth.”

“You knew exactly what you were doing. Our relationship issues should have no bearing on Dalseum’s politics.”

“It impacts all of Dalseum’s politics! We could have done so much—“

“There was never a ‘we.’ Sara put these delusions of grandeur in your head, and you believed her. I never once implied that you would have any power on the Council.���

“I was supposed to marry you,” Charlie started, her vocal cords tightening as she held back tears. “We were supposed to be equals. I left my whole family because I loved you. You were a good person, Noel. Why the hell do you refuse to change your ways?”

“Because ‘my ways’ have saved lives for generations.”

“But you know that everything you’re doing is wrong. You knew that sleeping with Sonnet was wrong, you knew that leaving your responsibilities to Sara and Gale was wrong, and you knew that doing this to me was wrong. Why the hell do you keep doing this? You’re not Noel anymore—you’re some heartless idiot who only cares about what some filthy rich people think about you.”

“I keep doing this because the safety of a nation and the tradition of my family is more important than my love life. That’s common fucking sense.” 

“This is so much more than your love life,” Charlie snapped. “I wanted to help you. I would have been a good empress. I shared my ideas with the Council— the Council loved me, Noel. Why can I not fit into your traditions?”

“Because you’re everything they stand against! You’re everything my family fought to destroy!”

“What? What do they stand against? Helping the people in the Wasteland? Loosening the borders for people who are trapped here?”

“It was never about any of that. Charlie, you know that.” 

“No, I don’t!” Charlie cried. “I don’t understand why fleeing a country that no longer values me is treasonous! I don’t want to spend my entire life down here, Noel, you know that! It’ll kill me.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before trying to undo the progress of my country. You have no fucking stake in this, Blaire. Dalseum is my responsibility, and I’ll be damned before I let some inbred whore think she knows better than me.” 

Charlie inhaled. “Then let me go.”

“What?”

“If I’m nothing more than some Dixie dumbass to you, let me go home. I’m only wasting your resources down here.” 

“Because you agreed to this. You have to face the consequences of your actions. What did I tell you before you stepped foot here? No one comes in—“

“No one gets out,” they said in unison, Charlie’s tense shoulders dropping. 

“Someday, I’ll let you go— but you’re a danger to Dalseum, the Council, and yourself.” Noeul turned to the exit, the clicking of his pristine heels echoing in the endless nothingness. 

“So are you,” Charlie replied. “The only difference between us is your family name. It’s a real shame— it should have been ours.” 

Noeul didn’t respond. He hung his head for a minute and fumbled with a key attached to a chain in his pocket. 

“Is it true?” he whispered. “What you said during the trial?”

“No,” Charlie admitted. “I made it up as a last-ditch effort. Thank God, I’m not. I couldn’t carry a Sang in good conscience.” 

“You’ve proven my point,” Noeul said, almost grinning. “I can’t have a liar on the Council. I can’t trust a word you say, Blaire.” 

“That damn Council is built on lies, and you know that.” 

“It sure as hell isn’t built on women like you.” Noeul rammed the key into its slot and pried the stone wall open. “I always knew you’d amount to nothing more than your body. You almost had me fooled, but I’m glad I chose Chea over you—carrying on my bloodline would have been all you were good for.”

“Good luck getting Chea to do that for you.”

“I don’t need luck. I have someone with half a brain to replace you.” 

Charlie couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Like I said, good luck with them.” 

“You’ve always been a bitch.” Noeul wedged his foot through the hidden door and disappeared into the bright, blinding Palace halls she once called home.

But not before she managed to scream, “Watch for the hemlock! You’re all next!”

[plutoslittlerkive]

Telepathy

Leo/Loke x fem! Reader Smut

Authors Note: Heyyy guys, so like I’m kinda back, I’m really just taking a break from my Tiktok:Princessofmagix (shameless lol) but I find tumblr more comforting rn so I’m here YAY but yeah, here’s a Leo fic because I’m tired of y’all acting like he’s not BAD, he’s so fine like that’s my baby and y’all are sleep👁️👁️ but whatever, more for me ig😴 But anyways here something a lil short, a lil sweet!

Warnings!: Somnophilia, slight manhandling, and the reader cries…(idk Leo’s just HIM fr) but I think that’s it?

(Also mini text is speech through telepathy!)

Enjoy<3

I personally like to believe that my Leo is a sweetheart, he’s so eager to please, haven’t you heard that lions are loyal?

Especially if you allow yourself to be comfortable around him? He’s so grateful, he’d do whatever you ask. Anything to make you happy!

Like he’s such a sweetie and he always wants to know that he’s being good for you PLEASE praise him, he’s a sucker for words of affirmation…aside from physical touch. He can’t stand to be away from you and he definitely has some attachment issues.

If he could he’d be glued to your side! He’d give anything to be able to touch you. Mans will real deal get down on his knees, like his pride and ego are big but his love and desire for you are BIGGER! Like you could wake up to him between your thighs, he has absolutely no shame, you were his craving, and how else could he ease you after a stressful day?

It’s no wonder, the overstimulation damn near suffocated you in your sleep as if you’d been succumbed to paralysis. But what kind of nightmare would turn hell into heaven? You surely felt the heat, it was a warmth that enveloped every fiber of your being but you couldn’t keep up.

He looked up at you satisfied, he loved seeing you like this. Sure you were his master and you held his leash but to see you in such a vulnerable state, how could that ever be the case? He smirked as your thighs trembled around his face, clenching the sheets to try and brace yourself.

It was just too much, but prey never took the lead, and as your eyes finally opened allowing him to see their glossiness, he immediately gripped your hips and buried his face deeper, he had the power now.

“Feels good beautiful?” He asked through telepathy, a new power you incorporated with your spirits to aid in future battles.

Though now you kinda regretted teaching him at all, he just couldn’t behave.

But you wouldn’t play his game, you were exhausted and the pleasure only made you feel dizzy, so you spoke aloud.

“L-leo…wait…p-please~!“ He eased his fingers inside and curled them up, running his tongue soothingly along your clit.

“Wait why?” He questioned innocently in your head. People love to say cats are spoiled and Leo was no exception, he was such a tease and so brutal in these moments where your body craved any kind of release. Your back arched as you took a deep breath.

“Lion I can’t even breathe, please give me a break…” you stressed as you stared down at him pleadingly, lord only knows how long this has been going on.

“How, when I’m being so gentle with you?” Immediately he pulled you back to him when you tried to escape his grasp.

Curling his fingers deeper, he gently pressed down over your abdomen to feel every thrust. You couldn’t stop your thighs from shaking, he knew how torturous this probably was for you but he also knew he wasn’t going to stop, not until he felt like you were satisfied, he just wanted to please you, if you allowed it.

And allow it you did, because realistically you could’ve easily just closed his gate if you wanted him to stop but, of course your body betrayed any sane thoughts you had. It was especially different now because you were in fact EXHAUSTED but it was so hard to say no to him when he only did this because this was his way of taking care of you.

“I can feel you getting tighter babe” You’d be more thankful if he weren’t so sly, he was mocking you, and chuckled hearing your cries slowly excel, until suddenly you started to hold your breath.

“That’s it beautiful…” He spoke to you softly knowing you were about to cum.

The arousal dripped down your thighs as he sucked harshly along your clit and continued to curl his fingers up to meet his other fingers that rested gently on top of your belly.

You squeezed your eyes shut allowing the tears to fall, he played with your body for so long that all over felt tense, you couldn’t find it in yourself to open your mouth, too afraid of the struggled cries that would slip if you did. He further guided you until your mind settled, but you panicked as he proceeded to run his tongue over you.

“Relax Princess I’m almost done.” He cooed as he looked up to you, but you whined at his touch as you realized your body really couldn’t handle anymore, but soon enough he pulled away from you slightly and gently kissed along your thighs lovingly.

As you caught your breath he reached up and stole it back with a kiss, then brought one up to your forehead.

He smiled sweetly and pulled you close to him, kissing all over you, you wanted to thank him but your eyes fell heavy, so you finally spoke to his mind.

“I love you lion, thank you…” it didn’t take much time for you to drift back to sleep.

“I love you more beautiful…sweet dreams”

THE END!

(Thank you for reading! You wanna like and reblog so bad👁️👁️ *Holds up a hypnosis screen*)

Also request something I miss Fairytail sm :(

[heartsforjh]

buying something they want but won’t buy for themselves

receiving

beckett

heyyy so… idk if this is actually good or not! i wrote it at like 3am yesterday and barely edited it. let’s hope! also random, but i hope Quinnifer is okay. i’m so scared rn. 💔

main masterlist | 100 follower celly masterlist

“Aww, look how cute that is, babe!” you exclaim, flipping the FaceTime camera to show your boyfriend, Beckett, a tiny stuffed duckling perched on a store shelf.

��Get it,” he says, casually.

You shake your head, bringing the camera back to your face with a small laugh. “Nah, it’s a stuffed animal. I don’t need it. It’s more of a want-it situation, you know?”

“Sure, sure,” he nods, pretending to understand. Truthfully, he has no idea what you’re talking about but he doesn’t mind—he loves your rambling.

“What was the next thing I was supposed to be getting for the new apartment again?” you ask, slightly scrunching your face in concentration as you try to remember.

Beckett chuckles at your expression, finding it adorable. “Soap, baby.”

Your eyes widen a little in realization. “Oh, yeah! Soap, that’s what I was getting!”

Beckett stays on FaceTime with you for the rest of your shopping trip, talking with you about random things to keep you company as he sits in his hotel room, wishing hockey wasn’t keeping him from being there.

When you finally return to your new apartment, you feel the weight of the day pressing down on you. Between the errands, the unpacking, and the exhaustion, even getting your key to work feels like a battle. Thankfully, before you can lose said battle, the door swings open, and Beckett meets your gaze with a soft smile.

“Hey, I’ve got it,” he says, stepping aside to let you in. “Don’t worry—it gave me trouble the first couple of times too.”

The deeper into the apartment you go and closer to your bed you get, the harder it is to keep going. You sigh, shoulders slumping, as the day catches up to you all at once.

“Are you okay? What’s the matter, baby?” Beckett asks, stepping in front of you and wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulls you close, letting you lean into him completely.

Another sigh escapes you. “I’m okay. Just… tired. Really tired.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “My poor baby. I’ve got something for you. And after that, we can cuddle—sound good?”

A small, sleepy smile creeps onto your face. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

He chuckles at the way your cheek is pressed up against his chest. “Come on, we have to move to the table.”

You groan, making no effort to move. Beckett only laughs and tightens his hold on you, carefully walking backward, steadying you as he guides you to the table. “Hey, look, honey.”

You lift your head, and your eyes land on a little pink basket sitting on the table. The exhaustion melts away as soon as you recognize what’s inside.

“The duck from the store!” you gasp, grabbing at the basket.

Beckett grins, watching you dig through the different items that are also in the basket. There’s the stuffed duckling, a throw blanket, a new cup, candy, and other small things that scream “you”.

“Awww Beckett!” you gush, holding up the duck for him to see again.

“I know—I bought it,” he reminds you, rubbing your back as you keep digging through the gifts. “Do you like them, baby?”

“I love them,” you say, clutching the blanket and duck to your chest. Without another word, you head straight to the bedroom, flopping onto the bed with your new treasures.

Beckett follows closely behind, his laughter filling the quiet room. He adjusts you on the bed, before crawling in beside you, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head.

“I’m sorry you had such a long day,” he says softly, his fingers gently running through your hair.

You nuzzle closer, letting out a content sigh. “It’s okay. I feel better now.”

His smile grows as he pulls the blanket over the both of you. “Yeah? Feeling better?”

You nod with a yawn, tucking your head into his neck. “Mhm. Thanks to you.”

tags: @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @azure-edits @joesnumerouno @macklin-celebrini-71

join the taglist here! :)

[through-the-white-noise]

Okay I’m listening to Obey by BMTH rn and the genloss vibes are off the charts.

“Don’t let your conscience get in the way”

Ranboo was too nice to be an adequate protagonist, so Showfall had to shut that down. They did a factory reset, and Ranboo’s conscience— as well as any other emotion— would no longer be a problem.

“Brainwashed and I’m feeling fine”

Rather self-explanatory I’d say. The mask effectively brainwashed Ranboo and because he had no other choice, he was ‘fine’.

The entire chorus.

“Obey / We hope you have a lovely day / Obey / You don’t want us to come out and play / Away, now now / There’s nothing to see here / It’s under control / We’re only gambling with your soul / Obey / Whatever you do, just don’t wake up and smell the corruption”

The repetition of ‘Obey’- Showfall wants them to obey, and nothing they do can prevent that.

Showfall was perfectly content to watch Ranboo as they, and the audience, played with him behind the scenes. Then came the big Experiment— what would he do when he thought he was out of the game?

Ranboo wasn’t supposed to figure out what was going on until Showfall decided it was time— however, I do believe that Ranboo found Jerma’s office and such before they were supposed to— and the glitches weren’t glitches. They were strategically planned.

Ranboo’s story was going to end tragically, but every choice the audience made felt like a gamble, a gamble with the life of our protagonist.

“When your freedom is lethal”

Ranboo died. The only way he could escape the game was to die, and he begged for that release.

“You monsters are people”

Or, they used to be. Now they’re just products of Showfall.

Idk the song came on while I was making genloss art and it made thoughts I could probably go deeper but I’m tired.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

heheh do u know if he’s going to be in a group or not? i will look into it later, but i saw ur tags say he might sing trot or i misunderstood?

ooh hehe so ill respond to ur responses and give my own for the two that we both asked each other.. ur not crazy for wearing jeans to bed but tbh with u i would never!! maybe in the past but i’m very much a get home and put my pajamas on person.. i don’t wear anything other than pajamas in my apartment but i also have a cat and he’s a longhair, he’s very hairy and his hair gets over everything and im weird about having cat hair all over my daytime/going out leaving the house clothes, so i don’t want to wear anything that’ll get dirty/hairy at home and i don’t want to be deterred from cuddling him or picking him up either🤭🤭

as for a medium that i find most touching? your answer was really lovely and makes a lot of sense!! and i think writing and music go hand in hand very well so its cool that both of those are mediums u feel connected to because they compliment each other well i think. i’d have to say writing might be one for me, as well, or poetry but it depends because im not really big into poetry.. like i just don’t read a lot of it but could.. i think i prefer to take in information/learn things through reading/seeing it written down or actually doing it, so i think i connect with writing because of just that, like how my brain works i don’t know.

for orchid, a song that is perfect? i’m trying to think because songs i like usually change a lot, and we talked about this before.. im not super into lyrics? ‘honestly’ by riize sounds soo good to me like just the way it sounds is amazing and i thought that song was so perfect when i heard it for the first time i was like this is incredible i love how this sounds so much… idk🤕🤕

and for palm tree? a fictional character that i love but shouldn’t hehe, im trying to think of a good answer im sure i have one…idk if this counts but.. have u seen do revenge ? it’s like a teen/chick flick thing but it was recent but i really liked it and austin abrams is an actor in it and like.. he’s horrible but like.. i would still fold. like idk what it is about the little guy i want him so bad. every now and then he shows up in a movie i watch and im like oh hi…

i honestly can’t think of a villain rn😭😭 i do love a good feminine revenge story though so like, if a woman is doing things that are really horrible and wrong but it has a deeper purpose that maybe only makes sense to her… i love her<3

also it is hard having an expressive face but the positive is that it usually means ur honest and you don’t hide things from people.. makes sense with being a scorpio though too and having intense emotions and feelings towards things?

and i loveee matcha that sounds really fun if u are able to u should try making drinks at home! i always want to as well but i have a lot of trouble keeping my home clean and organized and so it gets more stressful to do a lot of stuff that requires clean up… idk if im making sense,,, also i dont usually wake up super early for work so i usually just stop for coffee on the way there.

thanks for playing and asking<333 i’m sorry i feel like my answers could be better i’m just still sooo tired from the concerts ive been feeling so sick and only just got home recently :((

- 🥟 anon

I just saw that he was going to debut as a trot singer but I honestly have no idea since I just saw it on TikTok 😭, to be honest I don't care what he does I just want to see him so bad 😭😭😭 he has so much talent, a great voice, dancing skills and such a nice presence, he made me fall in love with him when I saw him those few times with the neos and oh god, I mean, I love the seven, but idk, I guess since he's older he wouldn't have fitted the riize concept, but it'd have been so nice to see him with Eunseok and Hani 😭

I have a cat too! He's not long haired but I totally understand the hair thing, my cat is white and before I leave my house I always clean my clothes with a sticky roll(?) because I also can't stop him, if he wants a hug or rest in my lap how could I 😭, I love him so much even when he's a little piece of shit (he's fucking demanding I swear, a covid cat 🫠)

I'm also not so big in poetry, I have friends that read poetry most of the time but I need a little more to feel the stories 🫠 anyways I think is great that you connect with writing! I also believe that those two (music and writing) are connected, or at least in our cases because I can't imagine myself writing/reading without music, even if I repeat the same song in a loop, I need some feeling 😭

Awww I find it so adorable that one of the songs you consider perfect is from riize, I don't really enjoy honestly because I can't with the lyrics 😭 (not judging of course), but if I had to choose one song from them I think I'd choose memories because I also fell in love with it the second it started, it made me feel like when I was school and I listened to exo between classes, the MV is precious to me and it's simply the song I've repeated the most from riize ever 🩷 (I can't believe that one song did so much for me to even come back to Tumblr and write for a group 😭, I think l my feelings aren't as strong as then, but I still appreciate them a lot!)

I haven't seen that movie but I know the guy! I saw what he did but I can't find him hot as a bad guy if I'm honest, I just saw him in euphoria and thought he was the cutest thing ever 😭(also the bathroom scene... Sorry but the way he came after eating Kat out had me wishing it was me 😭😭😭😭) For that question I also can't think of any villain but I guess it could include Loki and Bucky, those two had me on a chokehold the whole lock down and I didn't care that they were fucking wrong and did really bad things, I just wanted them SO BAD 😭 (oh, I love women taking revenge too, one of my favorite movies ever is promising young woman and I support women in everything they do, rights and wrongs 👩‍🦯)

It could be said that me being expressive is related to honesty but if I'm fr with you I hid a ton of shit when I was younger and I still do so I don't know if that could be applied to me 💔, I show my emotions but I don't think I could be considered a piece of god taking into account that I do lie or manipulate reality into my benefit a lot 😭 (this sounds bad but it's related to my job ☠️), I don't like doing it in my real life anymore but God when I was younger I'd turn my body and tell my parents with a straight voice "oh yeah I was studying" but I would be in another place maybe having brunch with a tinder guy (my parents were pretty strict until lock down 😭), I was a bit out of control when I was younger, but now I'm a new person and mostly do it only at work (also because I'm such a sweet pea right now I don't really have nothing to hide? I haven't gone out on a date for a year already and spend most of my time on my own so I don't know what I would have to lie about 😭)

You're totally making sense, that's also part of my case so that's one of the reasons I usually drink or eat outside, just that in my case is because if I do something for me, I have to do it for everyone, and there's nothing I hate more than having to serve others because I don't only hate to prepare a ton of shit but I also have to clean it up? No thanks ☠️ (well, there goes my dream of being a stay at home wife for a sexy older man like Hugh Jackman or Pedro Pascal...)

Thank you for playing with me my love and please don't worry at all about your answers, they were perfect and I enjoyed reading them a lot! Please take your time to get your energies back, you've had an intense week and you deserve it 🩷🩷🩷

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 322: IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all, “Kirishima please take Hagakure and Aoyama and put them away somewhere out of sight until we’re finally ready for the U.A. Traitor Plot.” Shouto was all “HEY DEKU DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE YOU WANDERING THE STREETS LOOKING LIKE A GOTH PRAYING MANTIS IS EXACTLY WHAT AFO WANTS.” Deku was all “I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY CRUSHING MARTYR COMPLEX AND ACCUMULATED TRAUMA.” Mineta was all “HEY DEKU YOU SWEET THANG, IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I’D PUT ‘U’ AND ‘I’ TOGETHER, ANYWAYS HMU 💖”, or at least that’s what fandom apparently thought he said. Everyone was all “WELL SINCE WE’RE BACK HERE IN KAMINO WE SHOULD DO THE THING” and did the whole “launching someone into the air to save someone by dramatically grabbing their hand” thing that everybody fucking loves to do in Kamino so damn much. Iida was all “[bombards me and Deku with feels].” Deku was all, “ू(ʚ̴̶̷́ .̠ ʚ̴̶̷̥̀ ू).” I was all, “(;*△*;).” Horikoshi was all, “my work here is done.”

Today on BnHA: 

oh my god.

so I finally went back to look at what I wrote up for 321 last week, and it’s a hot fucking mess lol, and I really don’t want to deal with that right now, so we’re just gonna skip it and go back sometime in the next few days or something because I really want to read the new chapter and I have no self control. I’M SORRY IIDA

oh my god he’s breaking out the narration word bubbles oh my god. shit is about to get epic isn’t it

has there ever been a chapter that opened with these that WASN’T epic? serious question. anyways all aboard the Feels Express I guess

YEP

I saved a bunch of other crying kaomojis when I was looking for ones to use in the “previously on” summary, and right now it’s looking like that was a good fucking decision you guys. if I’m going to be an emotional wreck I might as well do it in style ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ

AND BY THE WAY!!

SHOULD I JUST THANK HORIKOSHI NOW AND SAVE MYSELF SOME TIME LATER. THE MAN ALWAYS FUCKING DELIVERS WHAT ELSE CAN I FUCKING SAY GODDAMN. IS IT TOO EARLY TO DECLARE THIS MY NEW FAVORITE CHAPTER? I SHOULD PROBABLY READ FURTHER THAN ONE PAGE BUT I’VE JUST GOT A FEELING

(ETA: it’s like. maybe my second favorite lol. A HUG WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN FIRST, I’M JUST SAYING.)

anyway so Ochako is releasing Iida, which is actually hilarious, because idk if you all know this but Iida can’t fucking fly you guys

like, I assume Ochako released him because she already knew that Kirishima was in place to catch him, but I really love this split-second of panic on Iida’s part where he’s all “HMM, IS OCHAKO TRYING TO KILL ME, ACTUALLY”

LOL THERE’S A THOOM AND EVERYTHING

that’s some plus fucking ultra on Ochako’s part right there. “IF THEY DIE THEY DIE” goddamn girl did you leave your chill in the same locker as Momo or what

now poor Kiri is all “DAMMIT DEKU ARE YOU PASSED OUT OR WHAT, I DIDN’T GET TO TELL YOU MY THING GODDAMMIT”

oh my gosh he is curled up so small you guys oh my fucking lord

RESIDUAL “LOST CHILD” FEELS FROM LAST WEEK COMING IN FOR A LANDING!! PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBACKS AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT POSITIONS OMG ( ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ ₍₎ ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ )

LMAO IIDA IS TRYING TO CONFIRM THAT OCHAKO PLANNED FOR KIRISHIMA TO CATCH HIM, AND KIRISHIMA IS ALL “NOPE I’M JUST HERE BY CHANCE BRO”

Ochako is the U.A. Traitor confirmed. Hagakure I am so sorry I doubted you. Ochako get over here. so are you Toga now or what

anyway so now everyone is running over before Iida can react to this casual announcement of his attempted murder. and now Mina is taking her turn, and Horikoshi is all “HEY BTW IS MINA CRYING ON THE LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY?” and of fucking course it is, you bastard. I’m not made of stone

( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)

SLDKFJLSDKJ:LKWEJ

IS THIS THE PART WHERE I JUST START SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER LOL. SURE FEELS LIKE WE ARE GETTING TO THAT TIME

OH MY GOD KACCHAN AHHHHH

I CAN’T OMG LOL I ALREADY GLANCED AT THE NEXT COUPLE OF PANELS, AND HE’S STARTING A WHOLEASS MONOLOGUE ABOUT ALL OF HIS DEKU FEELS AND OH MY GOD

“HERE YOU GO MAKESTE, A WHOLE CHAPTER OF ALL YOUR FAVORITE META TOPICS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE THEM” THANK YOU HORIKOSHI YOU’RE A BRO (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

SLKASODIFALWKFLKJ

THEY’RE JUST DEKU AND KACCHAN. holy shit you guys. because oh my god, but it’s like when Deku was talking to the Vestiges about saving Tomura, and he turned into his little child self because his heart and intentions were so pure?? and it’s like that again, except that we’re seeing them as their child selves because that’s who they are to each other?? like, not that they actually see each other as children, but just, they can see past all of the stuff on the outside and see each other to their cores, to who they are inside, and when they look at each other they each simply see the other boy that they’ve known their whole entire life. idk?? does that make sense??? DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WORDS ARE ANYMORE I’M JUST SWIMMING IN FEELS OKAY. I’M TRYING HERE

they’re just boys, is what I’m trying to say, I guess. just Deku and Kacchan. all the walls are down, all the gaps are bridged, and all it is is the one boy reaching out and connecting with the other, and just,,, (꒦ິ⌓꒦��)

OH MY GOD [GRABBING YOUR SHOULDERS AND POINTING WORDLESSLY] !!!1LK1

DO YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS IS YOU GUYS

HOW PERFECTLY FUCKING RAD. WELL LET ME JUST ENJOY THESE LAST FEW SECONDS BEFORE MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED, I GUESS

OH

MY

GOD

CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT??? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL??? IS HE EVEN FUCKING ALLOWED TO SAY THAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

─=≡Σ((( つ ◕o◕ )つ

GET IN HERE, EVERYONE!!

Y’ALL HE REALLY DID IT. “BAKUGOU IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE HASN’T EVEN APOLOGIZED” WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT. GUESS FUCKING WHAT, YOU GUYS!! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO ((((／￣∇￣)／＼(￣∇￣＼)))) AHHHHHHHHHH

OHHHHHHHH

HEH. I’M ALREADY DEAD, HORIKOSHI, YOU BASTARD. DO YOUR WORST. GO ON

YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON “US”, HE SAYS. ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF OMG. KACCHAN, YOU STUDIED!! YOU UNDERSTAND!! PREACH!!

OH NO!!

OH WAIT!!!!

LOL I GOT SCARED THERE FOR A SECOND BUT ANYWAY! EVERYONE GET IN HERE!!! GROUP HUG!!! OR WAIT, NO, WHAT ABOUT -- [GRABS YOUR COLLAR URGENTLY] YOU DON’T THINK -- COULD THEY POSSIBLY -- !!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ARE YOU GONNA HUG!??!?!?!?! I AM NOT OKAY!!!!!!! !!!hgk

REACTION PANELS LOL EVERYONE ELSE IS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS TOO WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

LOL OCHAKO

I KNOW THAT IN REALITY THIS FACE IS JUST BECAUSE SHE’S CONCERNED ABOUT DEKU’S FRAGILE STATE RN, BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE JUST DROPPED IIDA COLD THOUGH, AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEAR FOR KACCHAN’S SAFETY LMAO. THAT FEELING WHEN THE CLASS PERV AND THE CLASS BULLY BOTH BEAT YOU TO THE LOVE CONFESSION. KACCHAN WATCH YOUR SIX

OKAY BUT LOOK, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS, OKAY, BUT CAN WE PLEASE!??!?! HELLO?!?!? MOMO, JUST -- COULD YOU JUST FOR A MINUTE --

NOOOOOOOOOOO

“DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I HAVE TO SAVE SOMETHING FOR THE FINALE” HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I’M COMING FOR YOU WITH A TWO BY FOUR!! NOT THAT I’M UNGRATEFUL!! BUT JESUS CHRIST, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT, AND THEN ALMOST DO THAT, AND THEN NOT!! OMG I HATE YOU

sure let’s cut to Thirteen then, yay. I mean I’m glad they’re alive lol, don’t get me wrong

(ETA: I think that might have sounded a bit sarcastic so I just want to clarify that I really am happy Thirteen is alive and on the job again lol.)

it’s just that if your name doesn’t begin with Baku or Deku I honestly am not interested for just these next five minutes okay lol. like I’m just gonna be completely honest. I am too invested lol, please, they were having a moment, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS PLEASE

OH DAMN U.A. GOT SWOLE AF

THIS SCHOOL HAS BEEN JUICING WTF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TARTARUS LOL

I’m literally not even reading the speech bubbles though omg I’m so sorry. I really hope there is not a quiz, I promise I will come back to it later scroll scroll scroll

okay so they brought him back to U.A. and he’s all tired and out of it yes

oh goody Hagakure knows all about the security system

(ETA: is it just me or is Horikoshi really laying it on thick with the hints about these two guys lately? I’m on to you sir.)

THAT’S WONDERFUL NEWS. GLAD THIS CRITICAL KNOWLEDGE IS SAFE IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE TRUST

ffs Deku

WHAT WILL IT EVEN TAKE TO CONVINCE YOU THEN?? SWEET JESUS

-- holy shit, what??!

they know?? how did they find out??! holy shit???

I’m about to cancel the whole of Japan lmao. fucking try me dudes

-- THE PRINCIPAL!?

NEZU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK

“a ticking time bomb” tell you what, this man is just asking to be punched in the face. literally begging for it omg

(ETA: I have been advised that I misread this part; Rat Principal told everyone how safe U.A. was, but he’s not the one who ratted out Deku; that was “the rumors”, apparently. which, if I had to guess, were probably started by AFO.)

oh I see, so it’s to be Feels, Part II then

he looks so sad and tired and lonely and she goes right for the hand, god bless. though if Kacchan’s not gonna hug him, you’d think someone would at least. or is it because he still smells bad. hmm

AND THE CHAPTER’S ENDING ON HER LOL WELL OKAY THEN

I MEAN IT’S GREAT AND ALL, I LOVE OCHAKO REALLY I DO, BUT WE WERE PROMISED GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GODS, WHAT GIVES SOB. I WAS ALL READY TO BREAK OUT INTO SONG AND EVERYTHING. SURE, HE DID THE APOLOGY, BUT WHERE IS THE FOLLOW-UP GODDAMMIT

(ETA: just to clarify the reason for my rambling here, I was really waiting for the hero name reveal and the presumed deeper meaning behind it lol. but I guess that is a conversation still to come! and we still need Deku’s response to the apology too for that matter. lots to look forward to still.)

WELL WHATEVER, SO THAT IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER! SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY RAT “LET ME JUST TELL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT DEKU’S SUPER SECRET IDENTITY, I GUESS THAT’S ALL RIGHT NOW, NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY COME OF THIS” PRINCIPAL. listen here you little shit

anyway but if you’ll excuse me... IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME. IF I COULD FIND A WAY. I’D TAKE BACK THOSE WORDS THAT HAVE HURT YOU, AND YOU’D STAY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID. I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THE THINGS I SAID. PRIDE’S LIKE A KNIFE, IT CAN CUT DEEP INSIDE. WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS, THEY WOUND SOMETIMES. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN TO HURT YOU. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T WANNA SEE YOU GO. I KNOW I MADE YOU CRY, BUT BABAY, IF I COULD TUUUUURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIME...

[driderwife]

Recently I kind of unofficially stopped talking to my therapist of like , 5 years and I’m feeling like weird and bad about it rn. The thing that happened was like, idk I just got so frustrated and didn’t wanna talk anymore. She’s a really nice person and We have a rapport bc of how long I’ve been seeing her, but at the same time there have been several things that have just been compounding over time and I couldn’t rlly take it anymore:

Last year when I brought up to her that I think I’m autistic, her response was that I couldn’t be because I have an excessive amount of a empathy. And I did explain to her that lack of empathy is not an autistic trait & that it’s a classic ableist mischaracterization, which she SEEMED to be open-minded about at the time. But consistently whenever my BF comes up in convo (he’s diagnosed with autism) she makes it a point to remind me that because he’s autistic he lacks empathy. That’s one thing that really REALLY started to grate on my nerves. It wasn’t relevant and it was factually incorrect. And I guess it hammered in that I will never be able to discuss with her the possibility of me experiencing undiagnosed autism.

Another problem is that still to this day, despite NEVER knowing me when I identified as a girl, she continues to accidentally misgender me or call me “ma’am” instead of sir. She corrects herself but like, idk why I let it go for so long? I’m VERY bad about correcting people IRL so I just let it go time and time again. I was never going by she/her pronouns when we started talking. Clearly she’s just another cis person who hears my “girl” voice and decides internally that I’m a girl.

And on a less serious note I just didn’t feel like I’ve improved at all in the 5+ years we’ve been seeing each other. It wasn’t a waste of time; I’ve learned valuable coping skills and made some important life decisions with her help. But like, I have a litany of mental illnesses that feel untreated at their core and I never feel comfortable enough to open up about them to her on a deeper level. I don’t feel like we’re dealing with anything except little IRL problems I encounter, and my general anxiety. I feel like I’m far worse off mentally than I was years ago and it makes me really unbelievably sad.

I guess all this is to say that I know I NEED a new therapist but Im terrified of the process I have to go through to get one, and get to know them. And I feel like I lost a friend in my old therapist and I’m having trouble not seeing myself as a failure for that.

The only thing I KNOW is what I need, but I have no idea where to find it: I need remote therapy available because I travel across the country several times a year and it’s just a much easier format for me because when I deal with people in person I get way too focused on masking my awkwardness and social anxiety. I also need a queer / LGBTQIA therapist because I’m genuinely tired of babystepping around cis ppls surface-level understanding of my trans experience. Having an ally as a therapist is truly not enough, I don’t want to have to explain the intricate details of what it’s like to be queer.

Sorry for rambling, I don’t wanna put too much of my private life online but it’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a couple months and I needed to write down what I was feeling. If you have any advice, a similar experience, etc, it’s very much appreciated.

[lovely-angst]

I’ve been kind of going through it a bit at home. Maybe a scenario where almost everyday fem y/n parents are fighting everyday because the dad is always coming home late from drinking and that’s when the argument starts and they put the blame on you for them arguing and Katsuki comforts you the whole night and just takes you out? Idk I just need a comfort scenario rn I hope you don’t mind doing this !! You don’t have to do it if it causes a trigger ofc <3

a/n: I’m sorry I couldn’t get to this sooner! I know it is hard, just know you’re not alone! i also changed request a bit, hope it still helps! <3

tw: broken family, arguing

genre: fluff and angst

pairing: bakugou x reader

summary: bakugou takes you to his house after a long night of your parents arguing and you get a glimpse of what a loving family looks like

word count: 1.6k

02.20.2021

-

Nights like these, you’ve learned to tune them out. It sounds like a ringing in your ear as you watch your parents gesture around angrily at each other as you sat on the couch, thinking of ways you could escape to your room. 

It was always like this. Your dad would come home drunk and your mom would always get angry at him for it. You didn’t know why they always seemed to rope you into these arguments, but it wasn’t like you could stop them from keeping your name out of their mouths—they never listened to you anyway.

They always blamed you. Using you to throw all of their problems onto, acting as if it would relieve some of their problems. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t because of you, but it didn’t stop you from questioning if they were right.

Somehow, you managed to escape to your room, muffling their voices further as you shut the door. Days like these, you felt alone.

A ding beside you snapped you out of your thoughts before you reached over to grab your phone—it was Bakugou.

‘I’m at the convenience store by your house, did you want something?’

It was like Bakugou was your guardian angel. He always seemed to be there when you needed it the most, especially when you were reaching out silently. Your heart was so full of love for him, he was too good.

‘I’m not feeling great, can we hang out a bit?’ you hated being so negative with Bakugou, but right now, the only thing you wanted was him. And not even 30 seconds later, he replied.

‘I’ll be there in five minutes’ And like he said, five minutes later, he was outside. Slipping in a sweater, you made your way back into the living room, where your parents continued to argue.

“I’m going out,” you say, not bothering to check if they heard—not that it mattered.

Shutting the door behind you, you immediately press yourself against Bakugou’s chest, taking in his presence and his scent. His muscular arms wrap around you gently as you let out a heavy sigh. You never wanted to leave the safe place of his arms.

“Are your parents arguing again?” Bakugou questions and all you could do was nod. “I just needed to get out of there.” He lets out a hum, rubbing your back with his free hand before gently pulling away to reach into his bag. “I thought this would cheer you up.”

Your eyes lock onto the meat bun in his hands before you give him an embarrassed smile, “Why do you always assume food would make me feel better?” you say, taking to meat bun from his hands.

“Cause I know it does, and I know you love that shit,” Bakugou intertwines his large one with yours as the two of you walk down the street in a comfortable silence. “Can I stay the night at your place?”

“Wouldn’t your parents get upset?” he asks, but you shrug. “I’d rather get in trouble staying over at yours than to hear them arguing until the sun rises.”

Bakugou didn’t want to be the cause of trouble headed your way, but you seemed determined to get out. Letting you stay over was the least he could do.

“Do you think your parents would mind?” You ask, glancing up at him for an answer only to feel him squeeze your hand gently, “You know they love having you over.”

“Yeah, but it’s a bit late for me to be coming over and especially on such short notice,” and before you could worry any more, Bakugou leaned over to press a kiss onto your lips before facing forward once more.

“Just let it happen. You’re not a bother to us, I mean it.”

It didn’t take long before the two of you arrived at the Bakugou household. You’ve always enjoyed being around his family, even if he and his mom bickered. It was out of love and not pure hatred.

“I’m back and I brought (Name). She’s staying the night,” Bakugou announced from the door as the two of you placed your shoes neatly on the floor before walking into the living room.

“Nice to see you, (Name),” Masaru greeted with a smile from the couch as you gave him a polite bow, “Thank you for having me. I apologize for coming so suddenly.”

“Don’t be! It’s nice to have another lady in the house and we love having you over!” Mitsuki exclaimed as she walked out from the kitchen, coming over to hug you. “It’s refreshing to have you over and Katsuki’s so much calmer when you’re here!”

You give her a smile and a giggle when you hear Bakugou yelling beside you. “I think it’s the other way around. I feel so much more calm and relaxed with Katsuki,” you say, earning an embarrassing pout from him. “I don’t know what I would do without him.”

-

It was just past midnight and the Bakugou household was now dark and quiet, not a sound to be heard other than the soft mingled breathing of you and Bakugou.

“Close your eyes and go to sleep,” Bakugou mumbles as you stare up at him, eyes wide and very much awake. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel your eyes focused on him.

“I like looking at you,” you confess before Bakugou wrapped his arms around you, pressing you tight against his chest. Each beat of his heart brought you closer to sleep as your eyes slowly drifted shut. Bakugou rubbing your back comfortably to soothe you to sleep.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” you question and Bakugou furrows his brows in response. “I mean, my parents always blame me for their arguments. Am I doing something wrong?”

“It’s not you who is doing anything wrong,” Bakugou continues, “your parents just don’t want to put the blame on themselves. You know it’s not you.” You nod but couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips, “I know, but it doesn’t help to hear it daily.”

“Thanks for bringing me here,” your soft voice tickles his chest gently, your fingers running along his arm. “I wish I could live with you,” you say quietly and Bakugou hums in response, “I know.”

“Maybe someday?”

“Mhm.”

Even in his drowsy state, Bakugou meant it. Smiling, you snuggle deeper in his arms with a content sigh. You wished every night could end like this.

-

The sounds of dishes rattling in the kitchen stirred you awake from your sleep as you curled into your side, hoping to meet the warm chest of your boyfriend. But, his side of the bed was cold and empty. Opening your still tired eyes, you looked around to be met with a room void of Bakugou.

Throwing your feet over the bed and onto the cold hardwood floor, Bakugou’s voice suddenly came from the doorway. “I was just about to come to wake you up,” he states, earning a pout from you.

“I would’ve liked to have been woken up with you by my side,” you whine but walk over to slump yourself against his body, already feeling the drowsiness once more.

Bakugou’s chest rumbles as he lets out a chuckle. “Hurry up and get ready so we can eat breakfast,” he finishes, kissing you on the forehead before ushering you to the bathroom.

Walking into the bathroom, you stared at your toothbrush that Bakugou had kept for you. “Because you always forget your toothbrush,” he would say, but you knew he always had a spare for you.

Cleaning up your appearance, you walked over towards the dining table where the Bakugou’s were waiting for you happily and warmly like always. “Sit down, we’re so happy that you’re able to join us for breakfast,” Mitsuki says as you take a seat beside Bakugou.

“Would you like some tea?” Masaru offers and you nod, taking the cup politely. “Don’t be shy, dig in (Name).” He says, chopsticks already in his hands.

Glancing down, everything looked delicious. There was a bowl of miso soup beside your small bowl of rice, a plate of salmon that already had your mouth watering and a steaming meat bun beside you.

“Katsuki had told me that you loved meat buns, so we had one heat up for you,” Mitsuki comments as she saw the way you eyed the meat bun. “He tells me a lot about you.”

“Hey! Shut your trap!” Bakugou snarls and Mitsuki shoots back, “Don’t talk to your mother that way! Just say you’re in love with (Name) and go!”

That seemed to shut Bakugou up. His arms crossed with a pout on his lips, but you didn’t miss the blush that adorned his cheeks and ears. His father chuckles before turning towards you, “That boy is wrapped around your finger though, (Name).” 

Mitsuki giggles at Bakugou before they continue to banter at each other playfully. Masaru enjoying his breakfast whole heatedly with his family.

It was different, you thought as you watched them. How a family could be so loving towards each other, so full of love.

“This...This is really nice,” you say with a soft smile as your hands wrap around the bowl of miso soup. “I’ve never had a family breakfast like this before,” you confess shyly. “My family is never happy like this, so thank you for showing me what a loving family is supposed to look like.”

Bakugou’s eyes slightly widen at you from your sudden confession and before he could move or do anything, his mom spoke up. “Sweetie, know you’re always welcomed here! You’re already apart of our family!” she says and Masaru gives you an approving nod.

You couldn’t help the widening smile on your lips as you hunch in on yourself shyly, “I can’t thank Katsuki enough for giving me this. For bringing me so much happiness.”

Underneath the table, Bakugou’s hands seek out yours before giving you three firm squeezes as to silently say:

I love you.

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[letters-from-eros]

hello!! emergency request here!

so i am like terrified of super bad windstorms, the kind that rattle my roof and blow my trash can away. When i was little, a tree branch fell on my bedroom roof and i had to sleep on the living room. Since then, i get like bad anxiety about them??? And there’s a rlly bad one where i live rn

And i heard (saw) you do BSD, so i was wondering if u could do a scenario where fem reader is like terrified of windstorms, and she and Dazai haven’t moved in yet, but she calls him because she’s scared and he comes and comforts her?? idk if that’s too specific, you can shorten it down or do whatever with it! Thank you very much in advance! (●’◡’●)ﾉ

A/N: Ugh, I hate storms too and I'm sorry you're dealing with that right now! Hopefully this'll help you out <3

Form: One-Shot

Genre: Comfort, fluff, maybe a tad bit of angst in the beginning

Pairings: Dazai Osamu x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Storms, depictions of anxiety

Dazai Osamu was nothing if he was not reliable (in his own weird little way). Yes, he's a goofball seen to not take much seriously but when you need him, he's there on the drop of a dime.

A storm waged on outside, every gush of wind, boom of thunder and clack of heavy rain flooded your ears. Every time wind so much as brushed a tree branch against your home it provoked a harsh flinch. Every minute the storm waged on it felt as though the pace at which your hands shook quickened and and the more rough and forceful your heart banged against your chest.

"Make it stop, please..." The useless begging to no one in particular came out as a whisper. There wasn't much you, or anyone could do to make this situation suddenly cease.

You lightly rested your head against the wall. As you sat, tucked into the corner to avoid as many windows possible, you glanced over at your phone screen, currently the only source of light that dimly illuminated your bedroom. Every time the lights flickered your heart had skipped a beat so it was best to turn those things off before the worst part of the storm even arrived. For maybe the third time since you heard the first clap of thunder you debated calling Dazai.

He'd probably come, yes, but he would get soaked on the way over and might end up catching a cold because of it. Could he even safely get to where you lived through all the mess going on outside? Streets were borderline flooded and Dazai didn't own a car (you doubted he even had a license) and what were the chances that cab drivers were even operating through this?

It would be best to not call. That's what you decided on...

BOOM!

A much louder than usual clap of thunder blared across your ears and sent a shiver up and down your spine. Your hands went for you phone faster than your mind could exactly process. In practically one swift movement Dazai's number was dialed, you memorized the series of numbers as though it was how to spell your name long ago and it was safe to say that it stuck.

The feeling of doubt and thoughts of hesitance washed away as you finally hit the call button.

Two rings, it always took two rings for Dazai to pick up.

"Yes, Belladonna?" His voice was enough to bring an immense sense of peace wash over you, only for a moment. A loud gust of wind made your throat run dry and the anxiety pool back up as quickly as Dazai's voice made it wash away.

"D-Dazai," It was hard to form words, you felt as though you were straining every muscle in your body to force them out.

"Is everything okay, Y/n?" His voice sounded more urgent than it did before. He picked up on your tone of voice, how could he not?

"Can you come over, please?" Almost immediately you could hear the shuffling of Dazai getting up.

"I'm on my way. The storm has you shaken up?" He asked and you could hear the volume of the rain become a lot louder. He already stepped outside his apartment.

"Mhm.." Your answer came out as a feeble hum. You weren't shocked that he already knew what was wrong, he was always good at doing that.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, alright?" His voice remained steady but it was subtly laced with concern.

"Alright.. Stay safe, Dazai," A small rise of guilt bubbled up in you over the fact you had your partner outside during a huge thunderstorm just to see you.

He gave you a small laugh, the one that always made you smile. "Of course, Belladonna, I'll stay safe. See you in just a few minutes, alright?"

"Okay."

The phone slipped out of your hands once the call ended. The rain and wind seemed a little quieter. You couldn't tell if the storm was easing up, or if you were just relieved that Dazai was on his way to help.

Hopefully, both.

By the time Dazai got there the storm did ease up a little. Rain kept up a consistent heavy pace but the strong blows of wind that tilted the trees outside seemed to be occurring less and less. You couldn't tell when was the last time you heard any thunder.

"It's me," Dazai announced upon stepping into your home, his shoes squeaked just as loud as his voice as he slipped them off at the doorway.

When he stepped into your bedroom you noticed he was missing his signature trenchcoat and his hair was messy, starting to fuzz up after having to dry it from the rain. His glare was soft, lacking its using tantalizing glint.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner," He takes long strides to get in front of you before offering a hand to help you up from your sitting position. "Are you tired?"

You took a soft hold on his hand and hefted yourself up, legs a little weak from having them hugged up against your chest. "Yeah, a little," You answered. If panicking over a storm was anything it was exhausting, especially by the end of it.

Dazai hugs you flush against his figure, his clothes weren't that damp, you figured he buttoned up his trenchcoat and it was somewhere air drying now.

He took a few steps back holding you to get to your bed, breaking the hug for a moment to pull back the covers.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you both got into the bed under the abundance of sheets and cover you have, no space was left in between the two of you. Your head rested on his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly against your waist.

Dazai could feel you stiffen when a small gust of wind passed.

"Shhh," He hushed, lightly, somehow pulling you closer. "Just listen to me." His breaths got a little deeper and you took note of his heartbeat. Its was soothing, any traces of panic and anxiety was fully washed away and it felt like nothing could bring the feeling back, not when you're in Dazai's arms.

Things remained like that even after the sun was showcased once again. Things were abnormally quiet when you took Dazai's loud personality into thought but he knew this was no time to tease or to make his stupid jokes– not yet, anyway. At the moment, the only thing that mattered was you, and there wasn't any way that his attention could be shifted from you to anything else in the world.

Dazai was nothing if he was not reliable.

Beta-read by @bokuno-volleybabes

[amourology]

🥺 okay so you are so amazing and one of my favorite people (and blogs) on here, so the fact that I can make your day and stuff makes me so happy. You are so nice and are really cool so I’m glad I can brighten your day a little.

My favorite flower is a sunflower, but I also like yellow wildflowers (yellow is my favorite color). I do enjoy the smell of lilacs though. I’m not entirely sure if there is a deeper reason to me liking these flowers, but I find them pretty. I know with lilacs it’s because they remind me of my mom because she always loved the smell of them and would take some from our neighbors tree (with permission) every year.

Also daisies are so pretty and that’s so cool that you have just a field of them. I really want to get some plants and flowers but I also know I’m not the best at taking care of plants, so I’m not entirely sure if I actually should lol.

I had a thought after rereading Belladonna the other day (but forgot to put it in my last ask). So I know we talked about how Reader is in danger with other gangs (especially the Razorgulls) because she stated that as long as she is alive, Kaz will be as well. I did notice though in that part of the story she also made a comment about being the best healer in Ketterdam, and the way she says it makes it seem like it’s not a self given title, but more so what she is known as. So my thought was would that put her in more danger? We know that the Kerch indenture laws can affect anyone, but also target Grisha. So is the reader in danger of not just gangs coming after her but also slavers, merchants and the likes? I feel like people would want to take any opportunity to control/own someone with healing capabilities that are so powerful. Especially now that she not only healed Kaz of the belladonna poison (with Jesper’s help of course) but also brought him back after dying. And while I believe Nina states something about Grisha attempting to join gangs for protection from slavers and indentures, but I also feel like with someone so powerful others wouldn’t care if there is a “claim” to her already. I mean we’ve seen how stupid people are to challenge Kaz, but there are many who continue to do so throughout the series.

Idk it was a thought. If this is something you already planned on addressing in future fics and don’t want to talk about it, feel free to ignore this part. But if you want to write or just discuss this concept I’m 100% down lol. Also sorry if any of that got confusing or didn’t make sense.

I hope you have a good rest of your day! Make sure to stay hydrated and try to take some time to relax if possible! 😊

-🗝

awee i’m so honoured to be one of your favourite people/blogs, it means so much to me <33

as for y/n being in danger! i always imagined the knowledge of her being a top notch healer (lmao) circulating around the gangs only. so like all gangs in the city know of her, and her abilities, but, also, her partnership with kaz

i don’t want to say too much as i’m planning on having y/n and kaz talk about that in part 2 of belladonna so you’ll have to keep an eye out for that 😙

i hope you have a good day as well! i’m going asleep soon tho but my day’s been alright :) also sorry for the wacky response lmao i’m so tired it’s around 22:30 here rn

make sure to drink & eat enough today, and take care of yourself 🗝 <3

[kuiinncedes]

and you knew what it was

author’s note: i don’t know what the fuck this is i was bored at the beginning of my break lol and i wrote some stuff based on a prompt list and a random number generator that gave me “here, drink this. you’ll feel better” and it kinda like ,, grew ,, into a lot

i’ve been sitting on this first part pretty much completed for a while and i think i want to just post it and i have two other “parts” that are sorta connected and idk yeah lmao they’re in progress rn and hopefully i can finish them soon if i post this one i just feel kinda stuck rn :P anyway idk lol i like this part tho hopefully i don’t change anything massively in the other two that would have to change something here XD

basically 1539 words of shadowhunter!quinntina hurt/comfort (or an attempt at it) maybe like sort of warning for mention of death and injury tbh am i trying too hard to be a ya fantasy writer lmao

title from “you are in love” by taylor swift <3

as always lmk if anyone wants any shadowhunter things to be explained lol :P

***

“Here, drink this,” Tina says, voice shaky and quiet, unsure. “You’ll feel better.” She helps Quinn sit up a little and slowly drink the whole glass of… something.

Quinn wrinkles her nose at the aftertaste coating her tongue and throat. “What was that?” Her shoulders are propped up against her pillow, and she awkwardly tries to situate herself somewhat upright. 

Tina shrugs, setting the cup aside. “Something Mike whipped up. Said it should help your strength and energy a little?” She crosses her arms, lightly gripping the fabric of her shirt at her sides—hugging herself.

“Mike needs to add some sugar or something,” Quinn tries in a joking tone. Tina smiles slightly but won’t really make eye contact with her.

The room falls silent and Quinn watches Tina, recognizes the expression on her face, her defeated posture, her smaller, quiet demeanor. Her outfit—a lot darker than what she’s often in these days, when she’s not in black gear. 

And Quinn remembers a few months ago, when Mercedes had her own complicated encounter with demon poison. She remembers how Tina cares, how she loves, how beautifully, how much. 

“Hey,” she says softly, and Tina finally looks up to meet her eyes. “Mike and the Silent Brothers said I stand a good chance for full recovery, right? So no tears,” Quinn urges gently. 

Tina huffs a light laugh and wipes under her eyes. “No promises,” she says hoarsely. Quinn wiggles her fingers and Tina releases the hand clutching tightly at her side and obligingly takes Quinn’s, who squeezes reassuringly.

Tina keeps sniffling though, and it seems to be getting louder. She covers her mouth with her free hand when Quinn looks over and says quickly, “I’m sorry, I know, sorry, it’s Kurt’s turn to see you anyway, I should go—” and starts to untangle their fingers but Quinn holds fast, squeezing again and she looks into Tina’s tear-filled eyes. 

“Come here,” Quinn says quietly.

“What?”

“Help me lay down, then get in bed with me.”

Tina pauses. “Are you—I don’t know if—”

Quinn smirks a little, starting to push herself back into a horizontal position. “I’m the one who’s injured, and I’m cold and I need my girlfriend close to steal her warmth, okay?”

Tina swallows and nods a little, replies barely above a whisper, “Okay.”

Once Quinn is lying down comfortably, Tina climbs under the blanket, facing her. Quinn tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear, wiping some of Tina’s still-coming tears as she retracts her hand. 

Tina holds her wrist, lightly, almost only with the tips of her fingers, and presses a soft kiss to her palm. She lets out a slight chuckle. “Shouldn’t I be the one taking care of you?”

Her tone is lighthearted but bitter and Quinn brushes her fingers through Tina’s hair. Her eyelids flutter, half closed, and she releases a small, comforted breath.

“You’ve definitely already done a fair amount of taking care of me. And I’m fine,” Quinn assures, and she really is fine, aside from the fact that she just missed a few days being knocked out from the worst kind of demon poison and she’s still feeling the effects of that, probably will be for a while, but that’s getting out of her system now, and with its complete departure her strength (and ability to move without pain) should also return, if Silent Brother healing magic and knowledge is to be trusted. “On the other hand, you look like you haven’t slept in days.” And knowing Tina, it’s all too possible that she hasn’t.

Tina shrugs a little. “Maybe.”

“Do I need to call Kurt in here to tell me?”

“Fine,” Tina grumbles halfheartedly. “I haven’t.”

But do you blame me? is her unasked—and unanswered—question. 

(Quinn doesn’t.)

Quinn tilts her chin forward a little to kiss Tina’s nose gently. “Go to sleep,” she says.

“Here? I shouldn’t—Kurt wants to see you,” Tina starts and Quinn shushes her again.

“Yes, here. Kurt will live without it, he knows I’m okay.” And Quinn knows Kurt is okay, and presumably will understand Tina staying for longer if he’s been around her the past few days. 

She just hopes—knows, really—that Kurt has helped Tina, that they help each other. They’ve always been close on account of being the two who could always be found awake in the latest hours of night, talking to each other and recently, working on designs and drawings together.

But it’s still different right now, for these past few days, and Quinn thinks that if either of them slept at all, it wasn’t much. Especially Tina. Kurt had the parabatai bond’s assurance while Quinn’s been out. Tina had Kurt’s assurance, but it still couldn’t have been as good as knowing it herself. And at night, Kurt had the bond as an extra layer of assurance when he went to sleep, but Tina didn’t, and Quinn knows how Tina’s worry keeps her up sometimes, and how she sometimes chooses energy runes instead when she knows something is weighing on her mind too much for her to sleep.

“You need sleep, love,” Quinn whispers, and she feels the resistance fade from Tina’s body. She pulls her closer, tucking Tina’s head under her chin.

“I missed you,” Tina says with a small gasp, voice cracking a little in desperation. “I’m so sorry.” Quinn can feel her tears on her collarbone and she hates it—hates that she’s the reason Tina’s crying and she can’t do anything about it because she was unconscious and on the verge of death for three days and then the Silent Brothers kept people away for a few more and Tina didn’t know how she was for a week, and Quinn really just woke up again and she’s mostly fine and she feels fine but Tina hasn’t slept for days and Quinn understands.

“It’s not your fault. And I won’t ever leave you,” Quinn promises. 

“You can’t say that for sure.” 

“Shh,” Quinn breathes, thinking about both statements. Tina’s right, she can’t say it for sure, and she knows that. With their life and what they do every day, it’s the most unsure thing in the world. Even just a week ago, she could’ve died if the demon’s stinger had gone in a little higher, she could’ve died if there were any more of them left, she could’ve died if Tina wasn’t there. Tina could’ve died if Quinn wasn’t there. (Would have, a voice in the back of her head creeps in, less than a breath, and she suppresses the shiver that it brings.)

But if Quinn has any control over it at all, it will be true. She tells Tina as much. “I won’t leave you,” she says again, quietly but as vehemently as she can, and Tina relaxes a tiny bit in her arms. 

And then for the other thing. “And there’s no way it’s your fault, okay?”

“If I wasn’t so fucking careless, you would be fine—”

“You didn’t push me into a demon’s stinger, did you?” Quinn continues to run her fingers through Tina’s hair. “You didn’t take its poison and inject it into my body. And you were killing the other ones. We could both be dead if you weren’t, okay?” Her tone is more blunt than probably necessary and she brushes Tina’s temple slightly in apology.

Tina burrows her face deeper and Quinn knows she’s winning, if only because Tina’s tired. But she needs her to know…. “It would never be your fault,” Quinn whispers. “Ever. Tell me you know that.”

After a second, Tina nods. “Yeah,” she says in a small voice. “Okay.”

Quinn can tell Tina isn’t completely convinced, but it’s a conversation for another time, another day when Tina isn’t running on a ridiculously small amount of sleep and probably an unhealthy number of energy runes, and only just coming down from the emotional rollercoaster of the past week. 

Quinn presses a kiss to the top of Tina’s head. “Go to sleep, love,” she says again. 

“Wake me up if I hurt you,” Tina breathes, on the cusp of sleep. 

Quinn smiles, runs her hand up and down Tina’s arm. “You won’t,” she promises, voice hushed.

It’s a testament to just how exhausted Tina must be that her breathing evens out within a few seconds, and her body is still and loose from exhaustion, mind finally quieted, for now, close to Quinn and reassured, and Quinn continues to rub her girlfriend’s arm gently and thinks.

She thinks about the word she just used—twice, and for the first time. Not the first time in her head, but the first time out loud. But unlike countless other times when she’s questioned her decisions and even after so many that have hurt her, so many choices that have led her astray—led her heart astray… she knows it’s right this time. Now, here, in her room, in the Institute that changed her life for the better, her family within the building’s glamoured walls, next to the one person she would always want to be next to, she doesn’t need to question it. And she closes her eyes and follows Tina into a hopefully peaceful sleep.

[misterbitches]

i think there's a diff between being uncomfortable kissing a dude and being uncomfortable that it's your first on screen anything (kissing, sex scene). that shit is weird and hard if it's your first time. hopefully he finds it better now because he's clearly capable it's just....awkward.

i mean them still kissing while the director yelled cut shows that he (hank) wasn't embarrassed to be kissing a man just that. you know. lmao i mean you do have to get over it if you choose projects where it calls for it... but it makes total sense that he's 24 and that it's a big ask and it's a big leap he took which is good if he wants to continue acting.

it gets easier the deeper you get and it becomes way less embarrassing but it's still so bizarre? if you're ever on a set where there's a sex scene you're all so mentally checked out cos it's like two parts of you like you're watching it but then you have to monitor and do your crew work and then there's the people doing it and everyone being unimpressed and tired and staring lmao and the pressure of the actors (im trying not to be mean about how much work i think actors actually do in comparison)

once i worked with some theater actors for an assignment for school and it had these two girls kissing in the script and when they would make out i'd be like...i mean u coulda saved that for the actual thing but girl i guess. the other actresss was a bit more reserved but still into it and they had to keep doing it and this is why theater kids are exhausting i was like damn warn a bitch if yall are going all in in the middle of this hallway????

i mean idk i am questioning like hm were ppl just in2 these 2 buff tall dudes kissing cos they aint get it with anyone else or do thte main pairing not have chemistry? i mean i know the answer but i'm not seeing the cringe with their ~intimacy~ but maybe it's bc im a bad bitch and keep men on their toes

also tbqh when i did act i would straight up dissociate cos lol if i ever continue and have to do a sex scene i knwo for a fact my brain will not be on earth ill be like ok my inherent acting skills, it's ur time to shine cos we are mentally CHECKING OUT rn (many actors do that too) also you can have no chemistry and still be really into your scenes as an actor. the last set i worked on with this they didnt even like each other but when it came to the scenes it was like anything goes

[kikithefox231]

💍 + Starco! :D

Thank you for asking!!! Oh boy here we goooo:

Q:  where do they get married? A: Hmmm I feel like they would be sentimental and go back to the first place they met (in front of Stop n’ Slurp) or where they met when Earthni was cleaved (which was near Stop n’ Slurp too because SYMBOLISM) Q: when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )  A: hMMM maybe they might actually stick to when they first met and have it exactly on that day and time? it’d be so sweet :’D otherwise, I think a spring morning wedding would be so pretty!!! And having the flowers symbolize what Star and Marco have gone through and have deeper meanings beyond being beautiful is just *chef’s kiss* Q: what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. ) A: I feel like Star is very free-spirited with this kinda thing so they’d both just kinda do their own thing?? idk much about wedding traditions ahaha QwQ Q: what their wedding cake looks like A: okay so like they would have 20 layers (or more, depends on Marco’s wallet lmaoo) each a different flavor with a beautiful coherent decoration from the bottom to the top, detailing all of their adventures :’D optional: Star explodes out of the cake (idk how man ahjdghsj magic comes back just for it XD) and walks down the aisle with everyone covered in cake bc why not lmao Q: ….who smashes cake into whose face A: No doubt, it’s 100% Star She’ll be nice and slice him his favorite flavor tho!! Q: who proposed to who first A: Marco I think, poor boy’s on a verge of a mental breakdown adghsjg but then surprise! Star has a lil ring too! They somehow match perfectly (complimentary designs or colors idk either/both work)  Q: who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither ) A: Poor Marco waits for Star to walk down the aisle and he’s about to break down any second until she comes ;; he needs a BREAK Q:  what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like A: oHHH DUDE i just got an idea omg I’d love the idea of them wearing their outfits from the Blood Moon Ball but tailored to fit them and more extravagant with pieces of white lace put onto Star’s dress and beautiful veil :’D  Marco’s would be the same with the mask but extra decor and maybe instead of black it’d be white??? idk dude also the idea of them wearing their matching capes for their wedding (based off @starryeyedbfly​‘s fanart) makes me so happy :’D Q: what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have A: ashsjfghj I’m attached to the Blood Moon Ball idea now :’D It’d be really cool to see them kinda reenact that scene but if not a really pretty spring wedding with all kinds of colors would fit them nicely!!  I feel like Marco would prefer simple decor and Star would put everything she ever wanted and it’d be a mess so instead all their friends help out with decorating ...it’s very wild and weird but somehow it all fits together like the sweet wholesome family they are :’D Q: what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? ) A: eheHEHE I’ve actually done some research for a drawing gift I made but i’m too tired to find flower meanings rn (it’s hard dude they differ from site to site so I have no clue anymoreee) Mostly just a very bright and colorful bouquet with stars and hearts and crescents decorating around it Q: what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. ) A: agdhfkjhjas it’s all very sappy and heartfelt and genuine and about how even through all their hardships they’re still together and nothing will change that QwQ for style??? idk dude I’ve been to like (2) two weddings so my knowledge is slim :’D Q: if anyone’s late to the wedding A: ...i don’t want to be mean but....i feel like Ponyhead would come late and barge in with a big entrance while Marco’s speaking his vows and she half did it on purpose and half legit forgot (how DARE Ponyhead!!!) Q: who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other A: Star: Janna, Jackie, Kelly (bc you can’t STOP ME-), Starfan13, Ponyhead, Chloe maybe???  best woman is probably Janna (Ponyhead is jealous ofc but she has the decency of letting it slide)

Marco: Tom, Alphonso, Ferguson,  Best man: Tom (Tom helps Marco not have a breakdown while the other two are having a blast eating free food lmao) Bonus: Mariposa, Meteora, and Foolduke and Ruberiot’s children are all the flower girls/boys Meteora tosses out deadly spiders bc she KNOWS Marco will scream at them (Marco almost does but he manages not to) also Ludo and Dennis and his like 12 siblings are there too! They happy :) oh also his old henchmen are there too and they sob HARD also the whole Echo Creek school came too bc why not Q: what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing A: ok so  Janna: something casual but formal with touches of creepy stuff she’s collected from the underworld (skulls, real batwing earrings, fanged necklace; from Tom as an engagement gift bc that’d be cute! it creeps Marco out all the time so she’s happy to wear it all the time haha) Jackie: something casual and chill and tropical and nice to dance in, her hair is done nicely (with Chloe’s help ofc) with shells and stuff attached and strands flowing down like sand :’D ...i wish I could draw people rip Kelly: she’d wear something cute and stylish but carry a sword (or more) just to make sure no one ruins the wedding for them (like*cough*Mina*cough*) Starfan13: I headcanon that Star helps her become more of her own person and not a copy of Star so she discovers her own sorta dorky style ...it’s still eerily similar to Star but she’s learning XD i feel like she’d get nostalgic and wear things that she wore back when Star first arrived but?? better quality??? Ponyhead: Very over-the-top, too much makeup (though she washes most of off from sobbing during the whole thing), a dress that’s way too long for her, jewelry, jewelry everywhere  Chloe: Her hair is matching with Jackie maybe?? Or she wears a complementary outfit?? Not really sure since she didn’t get much screen time but they are wearing something that is matching and that’s that Tom: Wears a fanged necklace similar to Janna’s that matches her’s  A formal tux like one he’d wear for any royal event  Alphonso and Fergurson: both extremely casual, probably just their usual outfits but with ties lol Q: who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? ) A: Hmmm Ponyhead 100% bc she loves the spotlight and will take any chance to humiliate Marco (rip) Janna loves this too (rip x2) so does Meteora (rip x3) they’d share all kind of embarrassing pictures Janna was able to get while she had the tracking cam on him (mostly just badly taken photos or Marco blushing terribly bc of Star) 

Meteora and Mariposa get him into some funny pranks and they show some of their best ones (rip x667) Tom would too with a message about how much Marco and Star had helped him become a better person and move on :’D I feel like Moon would give one about how she’s so proud of what Star has become and how even though she seemed very cold and strict with Star, she has always deep down cared a lot for her and she’s glad she’s getting the happiness she deserves :”D Eclipsa would say how she’s so grateful for Star’s help when so many doubted her and her family and how caring and great Marco is and how they complete each other perfectly ; u ; Angie would give a short and sweet one about how thankful she is for Star coming into Marco’s life since he was always very nervous and lacked a lot of confidence and was probably very lonely (since they had a lot of exchange students come live with them so that’s my headcanon) and how she changed his life for the better TwT Q: who catches the bouquet( s ) A: I want to say Janna but then Ponyhead stole it??? Janna is 100% not ready tho haha (inspired by @moringmark​’s comic) Q: what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each other's eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? ) A: It’s a mix of both extremely cute and heartwarming moments and their friends hogging the camera and photobombing...and humiliating/embarrassing poor Marco  somehow they get into a huge food fight with cake everywhere (and on the camera rip)  they make it into a huge video and it’s sweet and weird and wild haha! Q: what sort of food they have at the reception A: hMM tough one but all types of sweets bc Star loves anything with sugar (in it or on top of it haha) and?? idk?? a HUGE pile of Marco’s Super Awesome Nachos which are finished in the first 30 mins bc it’s THAT good lmao (I read this as during the wedding but can still apply?? idk they have just,,,all kinds of food) Q: who cries first during the ceremony A: Me, I cry first  okay but hajgdhjsgfhdjsk Ponyhead cries before it and after but Moon and Eclipsa and Angie are all proud, teary eyed moms and River is...having a river of tears XD (i’m sorry) psst, secretly Janna cries too, even BEFORE Tom which is saying something deep down Meteora sheds a tear but doesn’t let anyone notice haha Q: how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. ) A: Oh, they have a BLAST Some actually pass out from exhaustion before it ends aklhdfjska  Ponyhead would get drunk first and Star has to make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble oof  Q: what their rings are like A: they use their proposal rings because they already match perfectly and it’s just really sweet ;; or they have these two rings that have the words “Cause with or without magic” on Star’s and “We belong together.” on Marco’s that match perfectly when put together QwQ  Q: what sort of favours they have ( heart-shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalized candy etc. ) A: Hmmm handwritten notes from both of Star and Marco thanking each of the guests and a few memorable wedding photos idk what else honestly :’D Q: where they go for their honeymoon A: HMMMM Honestly, they might revisit some old places where they had adventures and fond memories of but I can see them just cuddling at Marco’s house watching a sappy rom-com since I feel like that’s where they’ll always feel the most at home :’D btw idk where to mention this but they ride off on Nachos after they get married and just have a nice tour of Earthni and see how much everyone/everything has changed Q: something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. ) A: probably the huge food fight agdhsjskhasdj  I don’t even know there’s just,,,so many possibilities dude Maybe like,,,Mina almost crashes the wedding while they do their vows but Jorby and Kelly and Globgor and a dozen other monsters and mewmans (Star allowed almost any creature/mewman to come as long as they wouldn’t harm them in any way bc MONSTER AND MEWMAN EQUALITY!!!) death glared at her and she decided that she still had one functioning brain cell left and RAN Q: who officiates the ceremony A: I had a friend of mine say that the mime should officiate it and honestly yes Plus Ruberiot and Foolduke would be very proud and happy for them aaa :’D Q: what song their first dance is to A: oKAY so it must be the Blood Moon Waltz bc it’s ICONIC okay but they probably would put on their #1 favorite song from Love Sentence (WE STILL DON’T KNOW HHH I NEED TO KNOW DARON) and just goof off and have the time of their lives Q: who gives who away as they walk down the aisle A: me, panicking bc I have no idea how most of this works: oh no ok so it’d go: Janna and Tom, Alphonso and Fergurson, Starfan13 and Ponyhead, Jackie and Chloe, and I guess?? Kelly will just go with Jorby bc there’s no one else left qwq I guess Moon would take Star down the aisle bc it’d be so sweet ;;; Bonus: the laser doggos (no longer puppies :’D ) would lift up Star’s dress from touching the ground (it took a while to train them) hope you liked these! :D

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people