#she responded with THERES A WHAT??
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Sometimes u should say something because chances are the other person had no idea that the Thing u wanted to ask about was even going on
#inquired to a gal I follow on Patreon why there was a shipping fee for her tarot readings (which are digital)#she responded with THERES A WHAT??#I love humanity
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People, please tell me theres somebody out there that likes the series of Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft
Please, PLEASE tell me universe that this world not full of people just hating the fact that a woman who is a TREASURE HUNTER and knows martial arts and fights with other people, has muscles. Please please please, prove me wrong
PLEASE
#tomb raider#lara croft#tomb raider: the legend of lara croft#please#please.#i actually liked the series#it was fun and i liked that Lara had feelings and traumas from what shes been through#so please tell me theres people that also like it#(this is a call at the void because i know theres people who also like it#please respond this sos call)#i have been haunted with “Man Lara Croft” this “Feminist version” that and im tired
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intense need to make the dynamic between rica and my warden brosca worse. dragon age needs worse sisters
#theres just so much here.#i don’t think i’ll ever get over when i first read what she says to you if you side with harrowmont#the way i gasped.#not that asha is siding with harrowmont to my knowledge#i just think the fact that rica WOULD respond like that if she DID has to loom over the relationship in some way.#and it is totally understandable where rica’s coming from it’s just like. man.#so i guess i’m back to breaking skulls for whoever you tell me i have to again. nothing new here in orzammar huh#except that you have a new baby who matters so much more to you than me! that’s new!#i dont want the brosca sisters to fight i want it to be worse for everyone around them that they never had it out in a fight. you know.#ive been in the toolset a couple times but ive never actually been back to orzammar as brosca. very excited if i get there
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about what i said abt the gaps and diffuseness; the way shes all eyes & light & reflection. the focus on hands that dont hold anyone anymore. half of her initial definition in this sequence comes from the tardis and with the first touch she immediately explodes. shes obscured by light, and there must be a word for that thats not an oxymoron but it fits; cloudless climes and starry skies
#i think this must be how yaz sees her too#like she doesnt really get the whole. but she knows she doesnt get the whole#she /feels/ shes looking at a star she /knows/. you cant not be aware with the way it hurts#but shes committed to figuring out all she can about it anyway#doesnt matter that she cant see everything she wants to know bc she collects data and does the maths and she figures out a whole lot#and all doctors are defined by their companions of course#bc identity is always a conversation you cant define yourself you are defined and react. pond and respond simultaneously#theres a fun kind of time relativity to that#but im thinking abt yaz and like. 'my doctor'. whats your doctor. the one you traced a line around#the one you had a hand in shaping#the one you /interpret/#bc interpretation is creation#'half organic half machine. starts to make sense now'
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#theres this girl at my job who im like. 99% convinced hates me#like she doesnt respond when i say hi or bye she barely fucking talks to me like the only time shell talk is to tell me i did something wron#wrong which. Ok and then like she doesnt treat literally anyone else like that so im like is it my pussy stink or❓#cuz ive onlf been working here like two months girl what the fuck have i done besides be a little shy and awkward
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#thinking about death again bc my dad texted an update on my mum#apparently she got a blood transfusion and threw up. thrilling stuff. but it just nudges at my head#bc it just makes me think. when shes gone its going to leave a trace. the outline of a person#i dont kno why i find that so upsetting. i just think about all the half completed scrapbooks that will whither away in my sisters old room#and it makes me cry. shell leave behind her incomplete scrapbooks. half tumbled rocks. containers of sea glass and lucky stones. digital#conversation thatll never be responded to. shoes and clothes#and memories. evidence of of a life no longer there to live it#and it just makes me sad i guess. i dunno. theres something sad about a project that will never be finished#a project doomed to be forgotten because it was only ever in the care of one person#but thats how it goes. what is is. nothing to be done about it but feel that sadness#i dunno. my head is full of static and frustration for unrelated reasons#but death pokes at my head during the day and i lose my already unsteady focus in an effort not to cry#im tired and sad and wishing my medication was working better#shes not even dead yet. im pulling a roman r0y and pre grieving. except for reals#unrelated
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Aight I got the focking “almost died to a nuclear reactor” fit
#doc ock#doctor octopus#spider man: octopus girl#spider-man: octopus girl#no dont do this to her you cry lol i respond this aint even the best part#I made 3 pics because I actually really wanted to get the background done because the watercolor is cool#also because I really liked the vibe#why is she that color you might ask? well one it’s because I only used colors from the panel#and 2 is because if i had used the normal skin color it messes with the tone#the 2nd background is more what i was looking for but unless theres specifically a watercolor brush in photoshop idk#you can see the third pic is the one i spent the most time on
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something to be said abt a foster pleading for anyone to adopt their extremely sweet and playful disabled tabby cat for over a year with absolute Crickets in response vs us making one post at 8pm with a frankly very poorly taken photo of a cute no-personality fluffy white kitten we have (who's not even been here 3 days!) and we have 45 comments within the hour and three of our adoption people with their phones blowing up
#i say something to be said but its been said before#its so weird how much value people put into the look of an animal vs its personality#look i love this kitten as much as the next guy but like. i dont know her#shes not got much going on and the only thing that sets her apart is her looks#and i know people will be throwing themselves at us to adopt her#but when we respond to the 15th app we got for her with 'hey you werent first but heres other options'#i already know theyll back out bc they couldnt get the shocking beautiful kitten they wantef#because it happens all. the. time.#we had a tripod siamese thing a few months ago and she got an application the night she was posted#and about 7 others too before we took her photo down#and the first person in line took her not necessarily bc she was perfect#but because she was good and wow what a beautiful cat everyone will be amazed by her!#whereas if they were there and met a tabby wjth the Same Exact Personality#and pros and cons#they wouldve moved on bc its just a tabby and theres no motivation to work with the animal#because it doesnt look pretty or unique#its been said a thousand times over by people way more articulate than me#but its so frustrating to watch it happen over and over again#we have mini aussie pups (aka longhaired chihuahuas with mearle color) who had adopters ready before they were even fixed#but when the millionth sweet baby pitbull puppy comes through theres no response#or when a senior fucked up chow chow is found as a stray people are biting at the bit to be approved to adopt it#but when those same people are asked if they can take in a young farm dog from a hoarding situation#they ghost us#shelter posting
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there's a lot to say about how house md treats women but I will say the show lets the women be way more complicated than some shows today
like yall still aren't ready for cameron
#☢️.txt#cameron fascinates me. both how fandom responds to her and within the show itself#her moral conflict IS interesting and the bizaare pedestal she put house on is microscope worthy#actually how she views house in general interests me. shes the first to realize a lot of what he does is to intentionally distance himself#but she also misreads him in ways no one else does. specifically because she accepted that he does care!#i also still think about how she assumes house is at fault when chase kills the dictator which tbh is a REALLY interesting opinion to me#dont get me wrong house definitely changed chase and it turned into him becoming a lot like house#however. house freaks out every time a patient asks to die. even when its reasonable house spirals out of control#trying to find a reason for it to be unreasonable. it doesnt matter if a patient is about to die unless hes completely out of ideas he#physically cannot stop. its compulsive. he does offer euthanasia in certain circumstances and theres patients where he clearly#does not care if they live or die. but his entire medical identity is based on saving lives regardless of who they are#he doesnt /care/ that a dictator got killed and probably does think chase made a decent choice. but its not what house wouldve done#house mightve set something up. tipped off an insurgent. let someone into the room. but he'd force the decision into someone elses hands#but cameron does think house would kill someone if he hated them enough. because he plays god constantly#which is such a fascinating misunderstanding of house's motives from someone who generally likes him
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me when im begging the rest of my study group to come and join me at the library
#one of them left campus even though i asked if we could get together and she said ok#and the other one isnt responding#i think i figured it all out#but i have no one to check my answers with 😭#and its sunday so theres no way my prof is going to look at it now#and nobody else in my life is either available to look at it or understands even a little bit of what any of this means#anyway#rant over i think im ok now#im still mad at my study group but like#it is what it is
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bitching abt my job again
tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia
#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind#for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at#and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years#only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down#despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down#so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen#and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it#and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first#--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl#bc of course they dont give a shit about the library#they just care about how scary the queers are#and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town#and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time#(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the#--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting#the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display#its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages#talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w#--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens#sourse: i was one of tgose#and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk#and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look#--elsewhere#bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater#--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education#i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too#but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in#--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on
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date back on for sunday now. His friend is okay. thank god. And uhhh, yea now we're finally be fr about the "hey we met on a dating, lets be so fr about what our experience has been" uncharted territory besties. we're not at "so what are you looking for?" but i already essentially told him my approach is to just really try getting to know ppl i find interesting and letting a spark develop from there w/o pressure. kinda like in school where you consistently see people in casual settings. and he thought it was a good plan so uh. here we are.
#basically he's had no luck and only like 2 matches (excluding me i believe) and all those people just never responded to him#which must be so funny bc now theres like. me. where i have seen his id. know his govt name. address. dob. and vitals. like. crazy.#and he's seen mine too ofc. equality. and uh. sounds like he's never dated. never had any bug feelings for anyone despite wanting to fall i#love so bad. which is... interesting. i feel like he has liked ppl and not recognized that it's a crush. nit just wanting to be friends but#imma hold off on sharing that until further developments.#i basically told him that I've had a very different experience. not to like brag but like most women will have better luck on apps (also hi#profile kinda sucks. all 4 photos look like a different person. his like actual answers to prompts aren't bad. they're good. thats what mad#me think 'oh i think i could rlly get along w/ this dude' but he'd attract a very niche type of woman)#which i also. didn't fully say. bc time and place. it'll come up but not right now. but yea so i told him that like. ive gotten many matche#but a lotttt of it is super low quality. lot of wasted time. so like. yea. we all have a bad time on dating apps till someone sticks and we#dont. we basically have both admitted to having idealized people in the past and getting the ick irl. and yea. building some good common#ground. ive always wanted to ask to ppl ive gone out w/ what their experience looks like but i feel like thats not smth to talk abt till#later on and I've never wanted anything past a 2nd date before so. yea.#although my first date did tell me but she was poly and like much more open to talking abt that than most monogamous ppl would be
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It deeply bothers me that nobody in my life ever responds to messages from me and they often leave me on read even when I'm talking about something really important
On the other hand it leads to some pretty hilarious conversations when days later I send a meme
#idk...am i crazy??#it's not normal to just ignore people when they are talking about experiencing a death right?#this happens to me consistently in pretty much every friend group I'm in#one time i had a breakdown and yelled at my friends and they said 'well we don't know what to say'#idk idk that's not fucking normal like say SOMETHING#my parents are like this too#they don't respond to my messages. my dad once didn't talk to me for over a year#I'm ngl i am deeply fucked up from constantly being ignored by everyone i love#especially when I'm trying to talk about something emotional and they don't respond#in highschool when i told my mom i was cutting myself and showed her my arms she turned her head away and said nothing#I'm pretty sure there is literally nothing i could ever do that would make anybody listen to me#personal#sorry i just....went to send my friends that meme and realized they left me on read when i was talking about my cousin dying#literally saying ANYTHING is better than saying nothing#sonetimes i feel like I don't matter and theres no reason for me to exist
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every day i log on here and read 17 posts that make me say out loud "you're misinterpreting each other. that's not what that means. that's not what THAT means!!! you're agreeing!!! this is the same point" and then I get so mad I almost explode then I do the Paul Rudd I'm fine GIF and I log back off. for free, even, I do this.
#good idea generator#it is much better than actually getting involved#but actually i would wager something like 80% of all arguments on here#are between people who already agree on the fundamentals of the issue and who would be like. friends about it irl#and its like. if you people could stop performing for the choir you preach to for like 10 seconds#and actually think about the person responding as a whole entire person. it is immediately obvious you agree#currently theres some posts going around that are likely in response to a different post#which admittedly wasnt phrased very well. but also was clearly written by someone who was upset and affected personally?#and now a bastardized version of what she said is getting responded to and it makes me so mad bc like#YOU AGREE!! you agree with her point!! you latched onto a specific phrasing and assummed a different point was under it!!#but its not!!! this is the same point!! youre agreeing!!! AHHHH
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#im probably gonna be spending a lot of my life mourning my sisters and my relationship#we were so close but now we dont really talk outside of gatherings#i dunno#we're both living our own lives and it takes two to be distant#theres a lot of things i hate about her and its probably mostly stuff that hits my own insecurities#i used to come to her with all kinds of things#now its like she doesnt respond to my lil reachings out so like i dunno#we work for the same fucking college for fucks sake#im prolly always gonna resent her for applying and moving here without telling me and just having me hear second hand#like yes im not blameless but also like fuck her#i continue to prove i dont need her but also i miss her#we only hurt each other when we do talk#the fact my old coworker reminded me of her so much was probably part of why i hated her so bad#fuck people who think theyre better than me (read people i think are better than me)#my mom called today and thats whats got me thinking like this#im great#people love me#im loved#honestly my familys where i get all my abandonment issues#im better off without all of them but by god if thats gonna stop me from like feeling the ache of their absence like a phantom limb
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the way my heart sank . lol
#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious#but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her#and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree#so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call#and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated#and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad#and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so#confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not#want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should#but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same#instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and#work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow#idk what else i can do#i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk#i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me#like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w#the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at#me for trying to help . idk#UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me
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