#she put her shit EVERYWHERE
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made some nice progress on cleaning my room finally <333 will continue in the morning but I did get the entire bathroom cleaned because my brother and his gf destroyed it
#eden speaks#they need to move out but at this point im gonna let my parents handle that shit#they have DESTROYED their bedroom and the bathroom but thankfully i cleaned that shit#theyre so disrespectful about everything and do not follow any basic ground rules our parents set especially when it comes to weed ://#dont get me wrong i love my brother but jesus christ get a fucking grip youre living here for free#when they initially moved in they promised they would be here three months tops#its been nine months#im TIRED#im a weed smoker too but i dont open that shit and roll up and pack bowls in the fucking house like how are you gonna disrespect our#parents space like that they've asked you so many times and have come forward so many times about their discomfort with the smell of weed#it literally makes my dad sick but they dont care#OKAY no more bitching sorry I'm just a little frustrated#they just got back from visiting his girlfriends family and she comes back and she has taken over MY bathroom#she put her shit EVERYWHERE#does me having any space to put my things not matter to you??#they were supposed to clean the bathroom and fix the sink they destroyed but they refused and avoided it until they left so i did it#and i got zero thank you and all I get is her putting her bullshit in there#NOW IM DONE#this is a delete later kind of post lmao im just frustrated am i overreacting???#delete later
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It's time to rant about my human in Palia: Ori Tian
He is awful and I love him. You can learn more about my human under the cut! This information is not spoiler free as his character changes over time as we learn more about the world.
Ori Tian || He/Him They/Them || 29-30 || The Watcher
Ori's history makes more sense with a few key points (some of which are spoilers you learn when talking to folks/exploring the world):
Kilima was built on the ruins of an ancient human school (I think of it as a university)
The ruins were where humans were forced to go by the human king (the Fire Temple lore) where it seems they were getting more and more ridiculous orders. I consider this to be when humanity's downfall was fast approaching.
The disaster that killed the humans was not just Flow (which I see as a global warming metaphor) but also an attack from Shadow Creatures (the Library you unlock with Jina).
The human downfall took hundreds if not thousands of years until they finally died out. They didn't go out with a bang, but with a painful whimper.
All humans have innate magical abilities. Some humans spend their whole lives learning how to tap into them, others are born with a close connection.
--
Human Life
Ori was a professor at the university and the dean of the humanities department which happened to be part of the school's administration. Their specialty was ethics and mortality, especially when it came to magic and Flow. They helped students organize various clubs and organizations inside the school, as well as supporting them during walk-outs or demonstrations against the king for trying to force people into "safety areas" to "wait out the danger" instead of facing the problem head on and cleaning up the mess humans had made that was destroying their world.
To students, Ori was known as the laid-back professor who was easy to talk to, but who wasn't afraid to talk back and be firm when needed. His tests were hell on earth but his classes were fun to those interested in a good-natured debate of philosophical principles and theories. He took it easy, but he took it.
To fellow professors and adults, Ori was a belligerent and sometimes down-right rude person. He had no problem calling people out for acting immature or acting ridiculous given certain circumstance (despite being hypocritical at times as a very hyper person themselves). The amount of fist-fights Ori has gotten into in university board meetings was too many too count.
He was outspoken against the king and didn't bother to hide his politics, which put them in a lot of danger. But Ori had one special thing that kept them safe from a great majority of threats: magic.
Ori was born with a natural affinity for fire magic and his anger could become explosive (literally). His flames were hot enough to melt iron and--when incredibly agitated--he could make anything he touched spontaneously combust. Yet this natural affinity came with a strict control he tried to keep tamped down... except when he couldn't in arguments. Fire brimming at the edges of his clothes (they never really caught on fire--clothes are expensive!) and his hair becoming bright flames. It's no wonder he was considered one of Embra's chosen.
On top of being a professor, a dean, and an activist Ori also managed the Phoenix Shrine. He was the primary caretaker, although he was as close to secular as someone could get in Palia. Is Embra real? Yes. Is she a goddess? Sure, why not. Does that mean you can't argue with her and have to accept everything she says or does? No fucking way!!! Ori is whatever the equivalent of a Jew is in Palia and he is very proud of his heritage, traditions, and beliefs.
His best friend was a kitsuu who followed him around the university and joined him on a lot of his routines for the temple. They could never be separated, his friend bringing him gifts from the natural world and Ori returning the favor with food and shiny things. His other close friend was Einar--who remembers Ori and what Ori did when he died.
Ori's death happened when the Shadow Creatures attacked the school. Many had already been moved to the temples, but Ori had stayed outside to protect the students that didn't want to go yet. When the evacuation order came to get everyone to safety, Ori was left at what is now known as the Mirror Pond Ruins.
When the last students were fleeing into the library--unable to get to the Water Ruins, Ori stood as the last guard to buy them time to lock the door. His magic was always explosive and he gave the Shadow Creatures the best show he could: he immolated himself in a massive explosion to protect the students he swore to protect. Taking out any Shadow Creatures in the nearby vicinity.
The only thing left behind was a pendant.
--
Kilima Life
Ori doesn't remember anything after being reincarnated. At first when he woke up Jina had to walk him through a lot of things, but slowly some stuff started coming back to him. His traditions, his knowledge of what he once studied, his love of researching, his hatred of authoritarian governments and anyone that bans or burns books, and intolerance for adults acting like immature brats.
He's slowly remembering some recipes he used to cook (thanks to Reth's help), other human languages he learned, more about life for humans, but a lot of it is very fuzzy and comes back slowly.
Still, though, he doesn't recognize the kitsuu who had great fun trying to get his attention with the help of Tau and can't comprehend why they keep little him little presents every day... and he doesn't remember his old friend Einar. Maybe it'll come back eventually, but there is one thing he is starting to remember...
Magic.
And he won't let the Order take it from him.
#palia#palia oc#palia player character#I love my fantastic asshole of a pc#he's a nice guy with a kind heart#but he doesn't put up with shit#he's already had a massive argument then Kenyatta for being a constant child about her mother#and potentially ruining Jel's chances to impress his mom for a childish vendetta#he has no patience for it#if it came from Auni or Najuma then fine but someone who says they are an adult but act likes a bratty child?#No 1000% not#he still likes her but he sees her as like a student of his#and that she has some things to learn#but in the other hand him dismissing her problems with her mother isn't cool of him#he does have some severe PTSD from his death too#he doesn't know why he panics sometimes or has nightmares or flashbacks to fire everywhere but#one day he'll remember#till then Reth Jel and Hodari are there to help him#Einar is patient knowing one day they're friend will remember them
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3:23AM, time to post Hatamori fankid and retreat back into my hiding hole
#this is what i was referring to in my last post#sometimes ideas will just pop into my head and i will be unable to resist the urge#i missed sprite editing. it had been a while since i last made a person's sprite#anyways her name is Akira and I haven't decided if it's Akira Tomori or Akira Hatano yet#i like both of their surnames a bunch#thinking of her from a scenario where Ayame and Kizuna survive the kg and get together a while afterwards#Akira is adopted. obviously. Her biological parents died in the tragedy she was adopted at around 4-6 years old#doesn't remember how her bio parents where because she was like? 1-2 years old when they died?#being with them in whatever happened that led to their deaths she may have some form of memory problem from the accident(?)#Akira is pretty forgetful and slow on the uptakes. but it's nothing too worrisome#she doesn't actually care that she can't remember her bio parents because the family she has now is much more important to her#she takes more after Kizuna especially in tems of personality (tho definitely not as bad as she used to be in Dra if you know what i mean)#put them in a room together and they will gossip and talk about random shit for hours#she loves Ayame too! they just don't talk a much? Akira used to follow her everywhere when she was a kid but now that she grew up#Ayame being the awkward-ish person she is struggles a bit on how to talk/interact with her#they work out together sometimes and Ayame will always volunteer to listen to Akira play some new song she's writing#and give her opinions on it#as you can see she is a musician. aspiring rockstar specifically#this came to her as a way to vent about the tragedy and all that mess sorta#may ramble more some other time i am getting sleepy#dra#danganronpa another#fankid#hatamori#sprite edit#edit#hyena scribbles#Akira Tomori Hatano
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The way people are responding to Taylor Swift's new album because they don't think she is tortured or mentally ill enough to call it that is fucking embarrassing.
God forbid an artist ever exaggerates for artistic purpose. God forbid a celebrity writes about pain or suffering if they haven't experienced the maximum amount of trauma in their life.
I mean, everyone knows the moment you become a celebrity all your human experience disappears and you elevate to a new level of existence where you cannot have relatable experiences anymore for the rest of your life.
#i dont care much for taylor swift but seeing people diss on her for no reason or petty reasons is so cringe and embarrassing#it reminds of that 'i listen to cooler music than you' trend that was so popular#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#i listened to it yesterday. good album. not really my taste of music but still good#people who diss on her do understand that all the petty scruntiny they put her under can apply to their favorite artists too right?#like what even is your angle?#taylor swift cant say anything because she's rich or because she hasnt suffered as much as you?#is the concept of creating stories so foreign to you#this just in no artist can ever write a song if they havent experienced 100% of what happens in that song#okay im done#i just had to get it out of my system bcs i see it *everywhere* and it annoys me to no end#im not even a swiftie!! but if you can say that about taylor swift you can literally say that about anyone#and taylor swift isnt hurting anyone. people wanna shit on her and her fans for dumb reasons#if you dont like her album then just. dont listen to it? block the tag?#its not like you can neverr criticize an artist or an album but NONE of these posts are being critical theyre just being mean#and taggingg their hate so the swifties can see it#its deliberately being mean because everyone else is doing it#OKAY NOW IM DONE
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my desire to tell people I know when they circulate AI art
VERSUS
my knowledge that telling them will, at best, be a little downer in their day
VERSUS
my burning need to not see AI art circulated on my feed and dash and stories because it’s so fucking ugly and annoying
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
#it’s somebody doing ACOTAR ‘’’’’fanart’’’’’ to the tune of hundreds of thousands of likes and shares and shit#generic skinny white girls with one fucked up eye and dudes who all look like James Marsden just everywhere#asymmetrical nonsense fabric bits in all the clothing#mind you this is shit I never would have encountered on my own but a very sweet person shared it in her Insta story#and at the end of the day is it worth it to maybe make her feel a little guilt tripped for sharing a thing she liked? probably not#it won’t ~raise awareness~ because let’s be real people are not paying close attention to what they’re sharing#nor will it put money in a real artist’s pocket sooooo#guess I’ll fume!
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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guess who had fucking pesto w their most DARLING NUT THAT THEYRE FUCKING ALLERGIC TO
#stream#‘i was like what the fuck is in this ?’ ‘this is the only thing in this ? it’s supposed to be normal pesto basil ?’ NOPE#ITS FUCKING CASHEWS AND PESTO#IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF#literally i was hitting my#just used the fucking epipen if i vomit i vomit but i would rather not#inhaler like is this why my throat is closing up ??? like NO ???? bc then i was sweating like ok … i see what’s happening#maybe i’ll just take like a few benadryl i’ll see if im allowed to do that#I FOUND 3 BLESS#so i’ve taken 3 benadryl + the epipen i should probably just take another allegra bc im only taking 120mg here#i’m determined to not vomit#it’s so fucking annoying#I HATE MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE#I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HEALTHY FOR ONCE#I HATE EVERYONE WHO EATS CASHEWS WHY DO YALL PUT IT IN FUCKING EVERYTHING WHO ASKED FOR THIS#everyday i pray we get cricket protein like pls anyone just put crickets into thinks im BEGGING#unrelated but#i’m#strongly considering getting several boxes of crickets from the pet store then just releasing them here on my accom bc i hate them#so much#like i’m fully not even going to tell them abt the mouse that fucking broke into my cupboard like i saw it today she has shit EVERYWHERE &#am sayin good for her bc yall know damn well that i did not fucking vacuum those lentils or nothing up she deserves a snack bc i even saw#her lil tail on the side of my window earlier like she’s so damn cute i know ur there sweetheart ❤️❤️❤️❤️#i hope she never dies
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man this has been a fuckingggg week
#so much shit at work...i had a day off yesterday and in the time i was out someone made a crazy mess in my lab and didnt clean up and my#boss had to do it but it left permanent bright yellow stains bc there was iron chloride involved lmfao its fucking everywhere#and no one will own up to it which is the real dickhead move like idc if u make mess but CLEAN UP & TELL ME OR MY BOSS BC ITS NOT UR LAB#we'll figure out who it is anyway bc we can check the stock records next week. and the work buses have been fucking me overrr#and so many asshole interactions this week ive had it up to here w other ppl#but also its been nice to start working properly w my friend in the lab. and he gave me brownies at lunch today :^)#and got a lot of life shit done that ive been putting off doing + my boss shared some rly nice feedback ppl have given to her abt me 🥹#i got kfc on the way home n my roomie is bringing me fried chicken from the good chicken place in our old city cuz she was there today#and ive been in a lot of pain again but at least ive talked to my dr and have a plan for the next few months n new meds to try#trying to focus on the good things. im sooooo so so tired tho#early bedtime tn i think. got nice stuff planned for the weekend tho <3#struggling thru it but we'll get there#.diaries
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#shit chat#disordered eating cw#how to. politely ask my housemate to stop fucking telling me about her diet progress#she's trying to lose weight cause she's a musician & her band is traveling to this big thing at the end of the month#by doing really strict by-weight portion control and it does NOT seem healthy#she's trying to get back to her 'italy weight' and like. girl. u went to italy in high school 10 years ago & biked everywhere for a month#if you are at that same weight a decade later without exercise by simply making yourself eat less food there is a problem!#that is not aspirational that's horrifying!!! no u don't look hot in your gig outfit from 2013 you look disproportionately skinny!#so i gotta sit her down at some point and be like listen. ur an adult ur gonna do what you do#& i know ur industry puts insane pressure on women to look a certain way on stage.#but as someone with a history of disordered eating i will not cheer you on and support your 'progress'#and quite honestly it makes me uncomfortable to even talk about it and see your stupid little diet scale on the kitchen counter every day!!#i strongly associate weight loss with poor health for a number of reasons#and firmly believe that weight gain is cool and sexy and that everyone should be less afraid of being actually!!!#it was a struggle w/ dysmorphia for a while but putting on some chub is one of the best things i've been able to do for my body as an adult#i love my squishy tummy and hearing you obsess about having a perfectly flat (ie concave) abdomen daily is deeply saddening!!!#bleh. it's hard. i feel like i should gently intervene but also i do not want to get involved bc it's more than i can handle rn#*less afraid of being fat actually
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ah once again the "didnt think it was for me, got big, now i definitely know its not for me but everyones talkin abt it" problem lol
#personal#this is abt dmeshi btw lol im just not into it#n seein it everywhere its like man. what will happen first it becoming less popular or me blacklisting it#i think im just fr not into fantasy shit anymore its just gotten real boring to me cuz like. then i gotta memorize shit lmao#anything says ''fantasy'' in big letters and i hear lotr dorks and weebs in the distance blaring their lil sirens like MEMORIZE EVERYTHIN#like im juuuuuuuuust not into worldbuilding and magic rules i gotta learn for some new show thats not even that good#and gets all convoluted like ohh woah he activated his trap card which in section 3.5 says that seventen leopards jump out and#immediately kill things that are undead and on fire exclusively but also inflicts a curse on its user so now in thirty jizzing episodes the#ll have a panic attack that triggers the Nineteen Runes of Saturn and like. man. thats nerd shit im not into that#OR its like. ohh siht thats dr dumb from the planet xenorp in episode five point twelve where he committed larceny and NOW hes back#in episode 6789305 to get revenge but jane doe pulls out her goop from episode sixteen where she put together a puzzle in the bg and#like MAN. IM NOT DOIN THAT#the payoff is NOT worth the time invested for me so im just gonna go watch a show that doesnt have a textbook fanbook made for it#anyway me. rambling. always. going back to the art mines where i draw utena and anthy kissing for the upteenth time
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absolutely getting fined for this ❤️
#soooo I took my fairy lights off my walls bc we’re all moving out soon and we’ve been joking about accidentally peeling the paint#and not only did the paint peel but there was soot EVERYWHERE#and naturally I took a wet cloth to it to clean it and yeah the small dots of soot where my lights had been came off#but instead they became huge smears of soot all over the fucking wall#and when I tried to clean THAT I made it worse#one wall is actually unsalvagable I’m gonna have to fully repaint it and pray#luckily it’s white so I don’t need to worry about shade matching and the lighting in my room is so appalling that I don’t think my landlord#will notice the one white wall is Significantly Brighter than the other#BUT ONE WALL IS THIS UGLY GREY BROWN COLOUR THAT MY FLATMATE ALREADY TRIED TO SHADE MATCH BC HERS PEELED#AND SHE CANT AND I LITERALLY HAVE SOOT SMEARS EVERYWHERE#it’s an £80 fine per wall im looking at potentially £160 in fines if I can’t fix this#my flatmate is gonna try fix it tomorrow bc I’m going home#she was actually really good about it like when I freak out I get angry and I was just raging about trying to fix it#and she was like ‘it’s okay I’ve seen worse I’ll do it tomorrow I guarantee I can get it off’ and I didn’t even ask her to#bc it didn’t even cross my mind to expect her to help with it so it was just sweet#I hope she can fix at least the coloured wall bc I can’t paint over that#the white wall I fucking doubt can be fixed but I can paint that one at least#I’m just so pissed off bc normally you put a deposit down at the start of the tenancy and if u damage the property they use that money#to cover the charges. like it’d be shit to not get my deposit back but in my head that’s money already spent#whereas this is just a straight up fee of £160 potentially#and I’m already so behind with money like I saved £2k for america so I have NOTHING ELSE banked#I owe my parents that £600 from rent still AND I owe my friend £155 bc we’re going to Ireland in September#like at least my friend is v understanding and I made it very clear before she agreed to cover me that I wouldn’t be able to pay back for#a good few months and she didn’t mind#so I’ll put that one on the back burner#but STILL WHAT THE FUCKKKKK I’m so mad why do I make such a mess out of literally everything it’s acc impressive#hella goes to uni
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I am so…. SO tired of my cat peeing everywhere
#and before ANYONE tries any suggestions#yes I try and clean litter box once day but AT LEAST every two days#and I completely switch the litter once a week#I’ve tried different litter. I have more than one litter box. I’ve tried putting it in different places#we’ve tried pheromone collars and sprays and deterrents#we’ve tried herbs cats dont like#she’s been to the vet over this issue and it’s not a medical thing#we literally cannot leave ANYTHING in the main apartment (she is not allowed in bedrooms BECAUSE of this issue) because she will PISS ON IT#we’ve had to put ANTI CAT SPIKES on our couches so she stops pissing on them#but now that we’ve removed literally everything and everywhere for her to piss#does she do it in the litter box?#NO!!! SHES JUST PISSING IN THE FLOOR NOW!!!!!#which honestly is five billion times easier to clean than when she pissed on the couch or shoes or anything like that#but godDAMN#PLEASE#JUST PISS IN THE FUCKING LITTER BOX I AM GODDAMN BEGGING YOU#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS OF THIS SHIT AND I AM TIRED#I AM TIRED OF MY MORNING ROUTINE CONSISTING OF SCRUBBING CAT PISS OFF THE FLOOR#kaz rambles
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I live my mom. but sometimes!!!
#I showed her that I put the art I bought at Comic-Con on my mirror#she doesn’t start by saying she likes it or anything#no no. she says that there’s so much stuff everywhere that she gets dizzy! this is not junk btw it is stuff I have put there with meaning#I think it looks cool with a bunch of small abject and stuff around the room!#it’s not even a lot! she only says she like the mirror thing after she has exited the room#and I do think she really did think it was pretty. but shit still hurt!
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I've been thinking a lot lately about Delirium and the way she speaks. She talks around a concept, never hitting it head on but glancing off through a series of metaphors and related concepts that explain things far better than wording them straight might. It's very relatable, and I think that's why I like her; that's how I think.
To me, the world isn't composed of precisely defined concepts but a series of interconnected existences which can all, ultimately, be related to each other. I also experience things in the incredibly specific manner Delirium seems to. I have sensitivities largely untethered from aversions, meaning that while I don't often find things deeply unpleasant or intolerable, I still experience them with an unusual specificity which often defies concise explanation. The best way I can convey certain feelings or experiences is through other feelings, experiences, and concepts to weave together a series of approximations that through their similar and dissimilar traits narrow down to what I'm trying to describe. Delirium does this too, and it's treated as a part of her that's no better or worse than any other. There are those that don't understand and those that do, and those that at least try to are awarded for their efforts because finally and most importantly, she genuinely has something to say. Her speech patterns are deceptively rambling because she takes a long time to say what she means to say, while simultaneously saying exactly it.
Delirium is neurodivergent coded in such a cathartic way because of this. I feel her frustration and joy because I know what it's like to be the person trying to explain something that has no words to assign, asking all of the time if there's a word for what she's feeling as a rhetorical and genuine question so that she can explain something without explaining it and call into question why we feel everything must be precisely laid in the place of as few words as possible. She is incredibly intelligent, but loses track of all of what's happening in a far more obvious way than most because there's just so much to keep track of, which is also very relatable as a neurodivergent person. Without putting labels on the experience, she perfectly captures it. I just... I like Delirium quite a lot, and think she'd be very good at post-modern literature.
#i hope to god this comprehensible#im trying so hard to get this shit in a line exactly becaude of why i like her#theres jusy SO MUCH to say its very hard to keep it straight and many more things to focus on beyond it#i love that delirium is treated by the narrative as an intelligent and wise being that just conveys that in an unconventional way#shes like my mirror metaphor. no mirror can light upon the minutae without shattering and no shattered mirror can see the bigger picture.#shes shattered but knows from when she was whole what the full picture looks like but she gets lost in all of the fragments#which gives her an incredibly unique and valuable perspective#at a surface level it seems as if she's an offensive depiction of mental illness but once you go deeper you realize shes not for the very-#reason she at first seemed to be. she embodies what is looked down upon but its told through side comments and events that theres more to-#her than the seeming irrationality.#she picks up and puts things down as she remembers them but that doesnt mean any one thing is any less valuable than any other#the ephemeral quality of her attentions dont diminish their value.#i have a lot of thoughts about her i just. am very fond.#and the way she and dream truly demonstrate the dichotomy of mental illness and neurodivergence makes me froth at the mouth.#he knows what shes saying most of the time and knows where shes at whether he admits it to himself or not because shes just externalizing-#what exists solely internally for him. hes better at masking and that is their difference which makes Such a statement oh my god when you-#think about how each are treated and understood.#it took me like. two weeks to organize these thoughts btw. they float in little brain clouds <3#i need to watch everything everywhere all at once#anyway#delirium of the endless#the sandman meta#the sandman#raspberry rambles
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Our mom has been staying with us in our 1 room Studio Apartment for the past 3 days and I'm already this || close to a fucking meltdown.
#ours#She put her shit EVERYWHERE.#REARRANGED THE WHOLE ROOM#I CANT EVEN SHOWER IN PEACE W/O HER MAKING A SNIDE COMMENT#SHE EXPECTS ME. AT AGE 19. TO SLEEP AT 9 FUCKING PM. WHEN I HAVE CLASSES AT 10AM.#I CANT EVEN PISS IN PEACCEEEEEEEEEEEEE#I want privacy so bad I really fucking took it for granted. I swear to god I'm gonna off myself if I have to live like this for another day
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watching one of our closest family friends share posts on her insta story abt how the government created the hurricanes with weather manipulation and god will save “the righteous” etc etc. and just. wondering Why shes one of our closest family friends
#yes its the same lady i complained about last week#like does she keep this shit quiet everywhere else and my mom just doesnt see her insta story#or do my parents really value her friendship so much they cant be like hey thats a lot of bullshit actually#bc i remember i tried to tell her off abt a post about ‘gender ideology’ and it was unsuccesful but still.#also like YEAH theres blame to put on the government a whole fucking lot but not. Like That????#anything but calling it climate change and blaming the real sources i guess.#vent
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