#ptternminds

[stillresolved]

ferre makes aesthetics ( 3 / ??? ): baek eunjae & annie choi

here, eunjae was not death, annie thought. because eunjae was the MOON.

( photos do not belong to me and eunjae belongs to @ptternminds - happy holidays, partner in crime!! <3 )

[crimson-sorrow]

Shi Qingxuan crushing on Hua Lian @ptternminds - continued from here.

Shi Qingxuan had never been someone to handle silence and solitude very well, they had been social for as long as they could remember, always holding on to their brother’s sleeve or surrounding themselves with a large group of friends. Now, being confined to their bed after a mission gone wrong, the only person that would keep them company was Hua Lian. Ever since Shi Qingxuan had made it their goal to befriend that specific civil god they had become somewhat inseparable, even though most of the times it was because the wind master was the one to initiate conversations or trips to the mortal realm. And yet.. Hua Lian was here sitting on their bedside even though he probably had a thousand other places to be, running errands for Ling Wen like his life depended on it. Shi Qingxuan couldn’t help but smile.

They were the wind master, younger brother to the water master, with thousands upon thousands of faithful believers and when they prayed for their assistance, of course Shi Qingxuan would listen and lend their talents. That is how they ended up in the mortal realm, facing a particularly nasty yao beast, and even though they never bothered to train their martial arts as they mostly relied on their spiritual device in form of a magnificent fan, they managed to defeat the beast, but not without being poisoned by the creature. It was no danger to their life, but still forced them to stay in bed the following days, leaving them pale and feverish. And alone. The moment Hua Lian had stepped into their quarters had lifted their spirits dramatically.

Hua Lian didn’t seem to be too thrilled though and in a way it confused the wind master. Taken aback by the other’s comment they are quiet for a while, not missing the way their friend avoided meeting their eyes. The civil god had been like that for a while now, Shi Qingxuan had overheard some other officials calling him someone ‘hot and cold’ and in a way they had to agree with that. Often their friend seemed almost annoyed whenever Shi Qingxuan went to visit him or begged him to accompany them on a mission, then on other days they could swear to see something close to fury whenever he walked into Shi Qingxuan being social with somebody else.

The hand gently pushing some of their now messy hair over their shoulder left them almost breathless. Shi Qingxuan felt their heart stutter in their chest and a warmth that was definitely not associated to their fever made its way through their body in waves, setting their insides on fire with something dangerously close to.. longing. The wind master, as confident as they were, still could not forget the way their body had burned when their hand had accidentally brushed Hua Lian’s that one time they had both reached for the same object at the same time. They could still remember the way the both of them had recoiled as if they had touched something hot.

Shi Qingxuan smiled softly at the memory, but quickly pushed it to the side. They knew their face was probably slightly red from the fever already, but they wanted to avoid to summon a proper blush across their cheeks. The wind master shrugged, then used the tip of their fan to gently tilt up Hua Lian’s chin, finally being able to look into those expressive eyes. They smiled gently as they spoke:

“Looks like I have to get in trouble more often if that is the only way to make you keep me company these days.”

They knew they were being selfish, but how could they not get addicted to the fluttering in their chest whenever Hua Lian looked at them.

[clemencetaught]

ferre makes aesthetics ( 6/??? ): verse three ( maría castro & patrick myungdae grace )

"take a deep breath with me," he says, voice soft as if it came from a better world. "everything is going to be okay." she knew it wouldn't be, but she wanted to believe him anyways.

( photos & the hunger games lore do not belong to me. credit for mária goes to @ptternminds! happy holidays fellow colleague :3 )

[kamipyre]

@ptternminds sent in: Sarang's hands suit themselves perfectly to the task at hand, even though they're the hands of a killer. It's almost a shame, how easily she forgets they are, when she buzzes around Suki like a butterfly, a dragonfly, as opposed to the wasp she actually is. She's holding up two pairs of earrings. Right hand: silver, long enough to graze the jaw ever so slightly if the head is tilted just right, fine and soft to run through a palm. Left hand: the other, similar, but rather than appearing like a string, small light pink hearts cascade in a shorter length, ending in a larger heart carrying most of the weight between her fingers. Her eyebrows waggle. She lifts the left hand slightly higher. "You gotta pick a pair. It's all about exploring new styles, come on." ((i was writing this and realized in spite of Sarang being a WHOLE LOT ORDER when I think about these two, Suki feels more mature? in how she handles the past, in particular? BUT ANYWAYSD FDKLHGL))

UNSURPRISINGLY, SHE'S ALWAYS HAD A LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH FASHION. On one hand, it is a means of expressing herself– if she dressed well enough, smart enough, or maybe even outrageously enough, would they notice that before her face? She's dreamt about it before, always wondering, always milling on the possibilities, but never quite bold enough to take the risk.

( Of the things to be timid around, it just has to be fashion doesn't it? Perhaps this is something she could ask her co-workers for advice once upon a time– man or woman or enby, most are decidedly bold in their fashion choice. From leather jackets to fur linings, to frills lining the edge of magenta overcoats, they are brazen in their choices. Confident and closed to any if not all critiques. )  

Of course Suki barely knows where to even start. It's not like she can ask her co-workers ( or at least the ones she actually still likes ) anyways– it occurs to her that just like with other areas in her life, perhaps getting a mentor is key to learning. It can't be a man though, no matter how well dressed they are and unfortunately, if not all of them happen to be well, men. Again, it occurs to her that having no femme-aligning friends is coming to bite her in the ass.

But even if it was a woman, her mentor would need to carry herself in the same manner as all the others: relentless, patient, and wise. Pro-active too– Suki's learning has always been more hands-on. So it'd have be someone like–

Jing holds up the two earrings, which as far as Suki is aware, are only different by the hearts dangling on the end of the right one. She tilts her head. "What about the rest of the outfit? I thought people are supposed to pick the accessories after they have one." Something she remembers from the one too many dramas she's watched. Would Jing also have seen and learned from them?

( Nowadays, her job is busier than ever, but in a strange contradiction, Jing has been around even more...almost as if she knew most of the people whom Suki used to hang around are gone. )

But of course, Jing, who handles everything with a light touch, insists on making a choice. That, Suki can empathize with. There is only so much time for one to deliberate before the waiting becomes the choice. And Suki?

Doesn't have the luxury of time. Especially not in her job.

She points to the one on the right. "I like the hearts but–" She pouts, exasperated. "I need them to look at me as an equal. I'll look more like a kid if I wear the other one."

[repetiita]

@ptternminds asked : 🎤 Kaede bc you'd think i'd grow less insane about her with time, alas, here we are

We all know that I have 3 smokers, 2 heavy drinkers and 2 drug users in my muse list. Kaede here, has hit 3 for 3, she smokes, she takes to alcohol like a fish in water and as doctor, she uses drugs. In her defense, she does so as a test but the fact still stands, she is a MESS ( My money, my time, my liver, I'll hand them all over ). Mostly created from the circumstances of being unwanted by her birth mother, Kaede Himuro craves LOVE. ( In the end, once you’re drunk, anyone is fine )

Will she find it at the bottom of a bottle? No, but what she will find is an easy way to forget her issues and be wanted for at least a few minutes ( People, in order to kill off their own loneliness -- And to throw up their emptiness, drink ).

I chose this song because it's good for 3 characters but it speaks to how Kaede desires acceptance and fleeting love and pleasure and is willing to lie and throw away her pride in a drunken stupor to get it ( Everyone's a hypocrite, hunting while using kind lies as bait ). And unlike the other two, she's ready to do it every single night after work. She wants what she didn't grow up with, she wants to be chosen ( once you're drunk, anyone is fine ), she wants to settle down and marry ( I won't even be chosen as that "anyone" ). She wants what she doesn't think she'll get despite her 'confidence' ( It's easy to lie about love ).

A mixed drink full of cheap bourbon Is a good fit for a half-wit like you But once we’re drunk, I’m sure It’ll all taste the same People, in order to kill off their own loneliness And to throw up their emptiness, drink  My money, my time, my liver Hey, I’ll hand ‘em all over, so Why don’t we try being together?

In the end, Kaede will drink and use herself as a drug tester until her dying days if she isn't forcibly shown that she doesn't need someone else to give her life meaning. Her dad didn't need it when she was raised by him and neither does she. Also the thing I like the most at the end of EVERY chorus is that it ends three ways. The first is p much how she's living life fast without a care ( Don't stop! Without a single care, one more glass! ), then the second is how she's become dependent without even realising she's just drinking to drink ( Can't stop! Without any meaning, one more glass!) and then the acceptance that she is a dumbass but she still ( Won't stop! Before I die, one more glass! ).

You might not be able to fix her without matching her freak ( Shushing people by pressing a finger to my lips, I'll leave out the usual stuff that happens till 2 A.M. ).

↳ FOR EVERY 🎤 SENT, I WILL LIST A SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH MY MUSE ::

[wellfell]

 akina has been called a spoiled brat , more than twice a day . a girl that's not satisfied with whatever stupid present you bring for her , no matter how hard you've worked to buy her one because she's used to the grandest and most extravagant luxuries — a marble mansion and triplet tigers were the start of her lovely story , these soldiers didn't have any idea what akina has seen and tasted before coming here . and she's expected to be dissatisfied with the current situation , disgusted by the gesture of a maria boy saving her some napkins and a fork .

 her brows raise with an unexpectedly tender expression . it dissolves into playfulness when she lets out an airy giggle and turns back to the plates she's filling with soft potatoes and some greenery she's sure nobody will eat . that's why they prefer eren's cooking , and armin’s cooking , because they don't busy themselves with unnecessary decorations of the plates . the greens she's dipped in oil and softened with heat , it'll help with their stomach problems but it's unlikely anyone will pay attention to her hard work . ❛ are you saying that i'm too fancy to be eating with my hands ? ❜  a quite mischievous look flashes her eyes when she passes by him to gather the napkins . ❛ i’ll take the napkins though . ❜  can't have her walking around with a dirty mouth or dirty fingers , yeah ? mikasa enters the kitchen and shuts her up , quickly , effectively , the plates were gently handed to her to be carried to the table inside the room and out of the kitchen . they don't exchange many words , not at all in fact , but akina understands what she's asking for when she stares at the glasses for too long . so , quickly , she puts them on top of the plates too , with a big grin and watches her head out . a few moments pass , before akina jumps to sit on top of the counter with her own plate on her lap . she's grabbed the fork eren saved for her , and she's eating . starting from the greens . ❛ i used to get mad at our maids for putting mashed potatoes with duck meat . i hated it because my mom would always force me to eat it too . ❜  she points at eren with the fork after biting off the potato from it's tip . ❛ i love it now . i think you just make it better than our maids did . ❜

    * - ' cont. @ptternminds

[kamipyre]

another old man! ➜ "Have you ever worked in law enforcement before?" More folding, as usual, but when has that ever changed? "You learn to hold you ground around people like that."

OPEN STARTER | Kim Shin

"Most often underestimate their power over others… men tend to overestimate it."

[stillresolved]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENLEN ( @ptternminds )!! did you know that your muses are very photographable and deserve to be on the cover of a magazine?? and also that your blog deserves fan content?? well now you don't have to imagine anymore!!

again though i hope you have the most wonderful day and i hope this year will be a peaceful and happy one for you 💕💕💕

[clemencetaught]

@ptternminds / continued from here!

THEIR BAG HAS KEROPPI PRINTED FRONT AND CENTER. And maybe the social worker knows it well themselves, but the mascot…well it doesn't suit them, does it? Still, they carry it and Myungdae can only assume it's either for a. sentimental reasons or b. the safety it invokes. Children are drawn to bright colors and even more so mascots- perhaps it is a means of getting children like Yuri to open up to them, the CPS worker.

Not that Myungdae is inquiring. Keroppi isn't even Yuri's favorite. It's actually Cinnamoroll. Or was it Pompompurin? She has plushies of both. It occurs to him that perhaps he would know which one she favored more if she didn't sleep on the couch with him most nights…or if she even liked either of them to begin with. It hadn't even been his idea to get her the plushies- Nell and Alfred got her each as welcome present of sorts.

Myungdae highly doubts the social worker- Baek- would care much, would they? Baek, who sits across from him unannounced, with a poker face almost akin to his own, the only different being that their calm doesn't try to hide their…disdain. They don't seem all that impressed with him, really. Probably wondering how the hell he, of all people ended u,p with not only Yuri, but also Hiro.

It wouldn't make matters much better if he admitted he's not sure how things ended up this way either, would it? All he knew at the time was that Yuri and Hiro both needed someone, an adult at the time and of course, he happened to be there.

What was he supposed to do? Turn them away?

"Oh," He says, rather simply too. He knows he needs to put on a good impression for Baek. The impression of a competent, attentive parent: one who knows what they're doing, one who knows their child. And yet-

"Um…daycare? She doesn't like being away from us if she doesn't have to be."

He feels as far away from himself, even further than he does to Yuri. Maybe that's why he was so insistent on taking her in. It takes a stray to know a stray.

But Baek doesn't need to know that. Sure, they mean well, prioritizing Yuri's well-being above the niceities and reserving judgement for what probably looks like a disaster zone if families were supposed to be houses. But it doesn't change that they're not- well, trust is hard-earned in these parts, aren't they? Their ID badge doesn't earn them points either, especially not with Alfred.

Still Myungdae can't help but wilt a little bit more under their gaze. Or what feels like a scolding, even if he'll be damned before reaching out for additional services for assistance. That's just more surveillance to put up with. "I'm fine, really. She…we don't need therapy, these additional resources if that's what you're trying to say– what she needs right now is stability." Which he wants to believe she's getting. "I thought…I thought that's what you were looking for her to have."

[kamipyre]

continued from here! / @ptternminds

MOVING HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ARDUOUS PROCESS AND EVEN MORE SO SINCE SHE MOVED TO THE STATES. She took it for granted back then, living close by family. Even if they, her paternal relatives, didn't quite understand her, she was still family and therefore, they were required to help her if asked.

Lucky for Suki, she has her coworkers, whose height and strength came in handy for once and who are still packing up the last of her stuff at her old apartment. And now him! How convenient that he happens to be waiting by her new place–

Which also is odd if she thinks about it more, because she doesn't remember telling him the address.

"Why would you need to find out yourself?" She asks instead, confused. "It's my apartment keys."  Although perhaps he could have inferred that from the Hello Kitty charm hanging off the key ring. "I have a bunch of boxes I need to bring up; it's easier to move things if someone's already there to open the door!" Granted, he doesn't seem exactly dressed for the occasion ( which could only be explained by again that no one told him he would be roped into such an activity ), but he can always wash them later...

She hefts up two rather bulky boxes and marches ahead of him. "Can you grab the grocery bag too? It's got the toolbox- you should be able to open the door still. My apartment is on the second floor- first door on the right!" 

[tewwor]

wait sorry hyello me again, f1x in my head, i don't know if you've covered this somewhere already, but... and this is silly goofy, but does f1x... come with noises. like, if you pressed your ear on any part of his body where this could be possible, would you hear the inorganic parts working within (like a heartbeat if you press your ear to someone's chest, or your tummy if it's full of water and you jump), or would that be something he could/would dampen?

unprompted once again x2 because you're simply amazing and fantastic — @ptternminds

had to ruminate for a hot second, but i've concluded that it's been different! like how i was talking about his weight and how that went in stages of heaviest / most clunky early one with poorer quality parts vs. now when he's arguably the 'lightest' ( if he didn't have all of that additional tool and weapons shit inside of him ).

but he does come with noises overall! it's just a matter of what time period we're talking about.

when he first started going from human to cybernetic implants, he still had all of those normal internal organ type sounds. his heart still pumped blood, his stomach still gurgled when digesting food ( or had little to nothing in it ), there was still an auditory intake and exhale of air from his lungs since he started on his limbs first. worked his way to the more vital organs over an extensive period of time, because .. i mean, he didn't want to accidentally kill himself by rushing into things.

now there's no more organic noises. instead of a heartbeat, he has a very, very faint sort of electrical hum. almost like trying to hear what tv static feels like ( if that makes sense ). like super distant fluorescent lights. the fluids that pump through him can be heard if you put your ear up against him for a while, but again — not super noticeable. there used to be whirring sounds back when he relied on internal fans instead of like, the equivalent of coolant. sometimes, when he has to hard reset a part ( fingers and toes jam, limbs go wack, things don't snap back into place right, etc. ) there can be a rapid clicking noise like trying to reset a fuse box. when parts of him do open or rearrange, there tends to be a subtle hydraulic sort of hissing.

what i'm trying to get at is how he more or less sounds like a very, very quiet generator. could write it off as mechanical purring depending on how you think tbh.

[repetiita]

@ptternminds asked : 🎤 Herr Gilbert~

What you gonna do WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN? Now that the chips are down TAKE if you can, give if you must Ain't nobody but yourself to trust

What you gonna do when the chips are down? Now that the chips are down What you gonna do when the chips are down? Now that the chips are down

Aim for the heart, shoot to kill If you don't do it, then the other one will What you gonna do when the chips are down? Now that the chips are down What you gonna do when the chips are down? Now that the chips are down

And the first shall be first And the last shall be last Cast your eyes to heaven You get a knife in the back Nobody's righteous Nobody's proud Nobody's innocent Now that the chips are down

↳ FOR EVERY 🎤 SENT, I WILL LIST A SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH MY MUSE :: accepting !

[heirofhermes]

Sebastián was sharp. He wouldn't have made it as a Quaesitor so young if he wasn't. The nervousness his companion showed wasn't lost on him, and that meant he had to take a different approach. After all, he hadn't taken this path out of a desire for power; quite the contrary. Martín's stress was the clear indication that he had to be helpful over anything else.

"You have every right in this, Martín," he reassured him with a warm voice, leaning even closer as if to make their conversation feel a little bit more private, intimate even.

"You're not under investigation, so nothing we discuss here is going to be used against you," Seb added. "In fact, if you cooperate, you will be under the protection of the Order of Hermes. The worst thing we can do is ask you to testify in court."

The magic fizzles, Martin would say. It would be a completely inaccurate description. But to his frayed nerves and an inherent sensitivity to the very concept of a spell it's the only one that comes close to making sense. Like trying to run your hand through a cat's fur and it resulting in an electric shock.

"Right," he skips chewing on his nails to scratch at a particularly nasty itch on the back of his neck, clenching his jaw around a nail scraping against skin already slightly wounded by the previous attempts at finding relief.

No matter the overtly supposedly friendly disposition, sitting face-to-face with a Quaesitor under any other circumstances is bound to make even the most authority-negating slightly tense; being in any way involved in anything that demanded a Quaesitor's attention and the terminology 'case' certainly didn't help.

Smiling disposition and everything.

"Uh, can I first ask if... Listen, I'll be honest, can anything bad happen to me- I'm not saying the Order should protect me, I doubt I'd fall under your jurisdiction on my own, I wouldn't know, but- do I have rights in this? If I... rat out someone I'm... technically by the laws of the universe meant to back up in all endeavours?"

[wellfell]

🌺 send this to ten muns you think are wonderful 🌺 Nassy thank you for always playing the freakiest goofiest doods and Akina dumblr would be NOTHING with you and the absolute BEAST of writing and vibes you bring and also you're incredible MWAH

ik i'm replying to this after such a long time but heh honestly the same goes for you . len don't make me take out my love guns because i will use them on you , you can't talk about vibes and writing without mentioning lena ?? damn you're my darling . honestly akina wouldn't be here without bullying her bf karube and threatening to kill er.en , and i'm not even talking about our other dynamics i will stay quiet about it and be a normal person . i love you so much . 🫵🏻🥰💕🔪🔪

[uroborosymphony]

               @ptternminds sent:

"There are eternal flames in Australia," Sarang twirls the wilted roses between her fingers. She'd picked them up somewhere hours ago, found an odd fascination with a bouquet thrown out for reaching what Sarang would describe only as another stage of another kind of beauty. "They say it's thousands of years old. I would have named it after you, had I discovered it first," the wilted roses, of course, are no match for the ancient beauty walking by her side. It's odd, how tranquil Sarang's soul becomes, when next to Calista, someone she met as enemy, as only equal opponent. But it's true. Her soul rests. "I suggest we visit," she introduces next, halting the Lamia in her step with a hand around her wrist. Her fingers tighten, an odd contrast in desperation, to the way she maintains her smile, trying to convince Calista, every day, to find a will to live in Sarang if nowhere else. "We could leave right now. Pretend to have never existed at all, and exist in peace there." ((😌💝))

Calista pauses her steps, feeling the warmth of Sarang's hand around her wrist. Her gaze drifts from Sarang's fingers to the wilted roses, their delicate petals curling in a final dance before they crumble to dust. There is a strong allure in Sarang's words, in the way she speaks of ancient yet eternal flames, forgotten places, and the offer of existing together forever. "You would have? Mm. I am not a thousand years old yet, Beloved," Calista speaks, her voice carrying the weight of time. Yet as the words leave her lips, she realizes... one day, she will be. This past January, she and Sarang marked her 600th year with a celebration in their cabin in the woodsd. If she does not find a way to die as she has long wished, a thousand years will come sooner than she dares imagine. Her eyes always soften when they meet Sarang's. Perhaps also, it is a way for Sarang to say she wishes Calista will reach her thousand years old, with her. "An eternal flame," she murmurs, her voice like the whisper of autumn leaves. "Now that I ponder it, after wandering the world and unraveling its secrets, it seems almost inconceivable that such a flame has escaped my notice." She gently laces her fingers with Sarang's, feeling the steady pulse of life beneath her touch. "To vanish, to dwell in peace in a foreign land... It is a dangerous temptation when speaking by you, Huntress," she says, a gentle smile playing upon her lips. "Could it truly be? To simply... exist there, unburdened by the shadows of our pasts?" Her gaze searches Sarang’s, as if seeking reassurance in those depths. "When my eyes meet yours, it is a siren’s call I find most difficult to resist." A silence falls between them, Calista’s thoughts swirling like the wind. How is it that in Sarang’s presence, the centuries seem less a burden. Never has she wished to live as she does now, standing beside this fierce, tender soul that is her lover's, hers, Sarang. Yet with that wish comes a fear—what is this yearning that stirs within her? This desire to cling to life, when for so long she simply wanted death? "If we go," she continues, her voice taking on the cadence of a time long past, each word carefully chosen, "if we forsake all that has come before, it can't be for a mere moment. It shall be for as long as the flames endure, for as long as your heart desires it." She hesitates, her gaze turning inward, questioning. "But I wonder... will I have the strength to embrace this newfound yearning? To live, truly live, when I never fully knew how to?"

[stillresolved]

❛ my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. ❜ and YKNOW when it's the right time and you feel like it, mayhaps Achilleus @ Patroclus bc this is exactly the type of shit he'd say >:333

@ptternminds / short sentence starters for ships.

AND THEY SAY HE HAS A SILVER TONGUE. He, as in Patroclus. Patroclus, who knows both people and Achilles better than they do themselves. Patroclus whose good word is more than enough to protect one from Achilles' infamous ire. Patroclus who manipulates words the way a blacksmith with his hammer, an artist with his hand.

But maybe that is not why the Myrmidons consider him an orator and not an artist. An orator uses words to get what he wants. He might have the technique, but he does not string sentences together for the sake of such. Perhaps in a life where he had not been branded a murderer he could have had that luxury.

Lord Achilles does, however.

The Myrmidons let alone the world knows that Lord Achilles is an artist at heart. Or at least Patroclus hopes they do. It goes without saying, his Lord Achilles is unmatched with a sword, but if they knew him from before this long, long war, his Lord Achilles is also unmatched in playing the lyre. And of song.

He'd give Lord Apollo a run for his money at least.

(And yes, Patroclus believes that wholeheartedly, even if that summons the God of the Sun and of Music's ire. It is worth bearing the brunt of, if it is in his Lord Achilles' name.)

So of course, something like that, something so exaggerated would come off of his Lord Achilles' lips. Patroclus wants to hear more of it. "Well you're being ...sweet today, my lord." A slightest hint of smirk curls on his lips. "Which muse has blessed you today, I wonder." He muses instead. It is easier like that, teasing his lord instead of merely basking in the truth. They are two halves of one soul- he dreads to think of a lifetime where one must go on without the other. It would be easier to invite death instead.

A hand caresses the top of his lord's forearm. Patroclus can feel the muscles, well-used and well-trained, rippling beneath his fingertips. Such an action would be forbidden back at home wouldn't it whether it is by King Peleus or Goddess Thetis' word. Ah, well Patroclus is but a human and humans are meant to err, meant for such foolishness. His hand ghosts over Lord Achilles' wrist before Patroclus catches his hand. He brings his lord's hand to his lips as he watches his . "Say more and I might reward you, my love."

The artist is as much of a masterpiece as the art itself anyways.