#( also trying to keep things a bit more brief...NOT THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE ANYTHING ON YOUR END <3 )

[kamipyre]

continued from here! / @ptternminds

MOVING HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ARDUOUS PROCESS AND EVEN MORE SO SINCE SHE MOVED TO THE STATES. She took it for granted back then, living close by family. Even if they, her paternal relatives, didn't quite understand her, she was still family and therefore, they were required to help her if asked.

Lucky for Suki, she has her coworkers, whose height and strength came in handy for once and who are still packing up the last of her stuff at her old apartment. And now him! How convenient that he happens to be waiting by her new place–

Which also is odd if she thinks about it more, because she doesn't remember telling him the address.

"Why would you need to find out yourself?" She asks instead, confused. "It's my apartment keys."  Although perhaps he could have inferred that from the Hello Kitty charm hanging off the key ring. "I have a bunch of boxes I need to bring up; it's easier to move things if someone's already there to open the door!" Granted, he doesn't seem exactly dressed for the occasion ( which could only be explained by again that no one told him he would be roped into such an activity ), but he can always wash them later...

She hefts up two rather bulky boxes and marches ahead of him. "Can you grab the grocery bag too? It's got the toolbox- you should be able to open the door still. My apartment is on the second floor- first door on the right!" 

[whimsiwitchy]

Controversially Young Girlfriend (part two)

Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 

series masterlist & main masterlist

summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 

warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns. 

warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3

authors note: I truly appreciate every single one of you who has enjoyed this story and has shown it love. I want to have a slow start to things so I hope everyone appreciates a good slow burn lol. enjoy! <3

part two: pathetic

London was absolutely beautiful. You’d always dreamed of coming here- simply exploring anywhere out of America really. It was so fun being in a foreign place hearing silly accents all day, you loved it. You wanted nothing more than to do a world tour for your debut album but your label decided to play it safe by only touring around North America. Now that you were here, you dreamed bigger and would try your hardest to gain the fan base it took to have a world tour. Traveling was honestly one of the best perks of being famous. 

famous

It was a word you were still getting used to as it almost felt shallow to refer to yourself as such. Though it was true. You were famous. Having that interaction with Hugh and Ryan yesterday made the reality sink in even more. Two men who had been in the industry for decades knew who you were, it was mind boggling to put it simply. The embarrassment seemed to keep creeping in when you would remember your interaction between the two men yesterday. The yelp of surprise and the quick, but loud, ‘holy shit’ that was thrown from your mouth involuntarily made you cringe. Hugh asking about Pedro was something you weren’t prepared for at all either. It made sense for him to ask, if he was a close friend of Pedro’s then your name being brought up didn’t seem like the oddest thing. However, never meeting Hugh before, you wished the conversation could have been different. 

Ugh stupid hot, tall, older, Australian man that could sing. He was literally everything you found attractive bundled up into one man. You had a brief obsession with The Greatest Showman, as every theater kid did, but your celebrity crush of the movie was Zac Efron. If only freshman you could see current you, she’d probably laugh. 

Hugh had been on your mind all night and hadn’t left since you woke up this morning. If you could remember, you’d be certain he was the focus of your dreams too. The following and the comment was shocking to say the least. From Ryan’s words, they were fans but why did he follow you after he had met you instead of before. Ha, as you think about it more, it probably wasn’t even him. It was more than likely someone who was hired to run his socials, just like the person on your team that posted that photo for you. You were definitely overthinking it all…This morning when you were brushing your teeth, you kept trying to remember the feeling of his big hand on the base of your spine. It was all a bit pathetic. 

“Helloooo…earth to y/n.” Ashley, your best friend, says as she snaps her fingers in front of your face. “Are you going to tell me what has you all spaced out or do I have to deal with you moping around this entire trip?” There's a hint of annoyance in her voice. 

Ashley has been your best friend since middle school. She was always your number one supporter, so in return, you take her almost everywhere with you. Of course you invited her to London and of course she planned an entire itinerary around your busy work schedule. Her company was appreciated but it was impossible to hide your emotions from her, making moments like this difficult. 

“I’m sorry. It’s nothing really, it can wait until later.” If the two of you weren’t sitting in the middle of a small cafe, you would have told her every single thought that sat in your brain, but you couldn’t. You never knew who was listening in on your conversations. That became something you had to get used to, not being able to exist in public. It usually wasn’t too bad, for example, you could sit in a cafe with your best friend but sometimes things got out of hand and you couldn’t even walk down the street.

“Okay, you better.” She gave you an understanding nod. “So, I bought us tickets to go on the London Eye at 2pm then I thought we could go grab a late lunch or dinner, whatever you-” You’re looking at her and nodding trying your best to pay attention but you can’t. You hated the way one singular interaction with Hugh had your entire day scrambled. If you ever saw him again, you’d have to tell him off for being so hot and ruining the fun London trip you had planned. 

—

The wait for the London Eye ended up taking an extra forty five minutes and Ashley was pissed. She was a very schedule oriented person, one minute off and she’s stressed the fuck out. The entire time we waited, she complained and would have had the king on the phone if you hadn't stopped her. Her mood was unchanged by the time you stepped into your private cart.

“If I tell you all of my boy drama, would it make you calm down and enjoy the ride?” You ask slyly as you look down at the water below as the wheel starts to move the bubble you’re sitting in higher. 

She gasps and her eyes go wide.

“BOY DRAMA???” She screams out, her previous negative mood disappearing and her eyes light up with excitement.

You sigh as you gather your thoughts. 

“Well..it’s not really drama. I may or may not have a teensy crush on someone.” 

“Oh my god!! Who is it? Have I met them?” 

“Uh no. I actually just met him-” She’s cutting you off before you can finish your sentence. 

“YOU SLUT!” She yells, pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“What the hell Ash? I didn’t even tell yo-” 

“It’s Hugh fucking Jackman isn’t it? Stacy said she saw the way you looked at him yesterday. Jesus y/n, you don’t even know the guy.” She’s rambling on, judgment clear in her voice. 

“Since when are you and Stacy on talking terms?” You purposely ignore everything else she said. Ashley was jealous of Stacy for awhile. When you asked her about it she claimed that Stacy was trying to steal her best friend away. It took a lot of reassurance that the relationship you had with Stacy was work before friendship- and if she had become a good friend along the way, that was something you weren’t going to tell Ashley. 

“We can be civil when it comes to concerns for you.” 

“And what concerns are there lately?” 

“Huh… Stacy let me in on your little conversation yesterday about swearing off men for a little bit but once Hugh stepped through the door, she said that she could tell that idea was out the window.” She’s trying her hardest to keep a straight face but there was a slight smirk peeking through. 

“Oh my fucking god, you guys are so dramatic. Yes he’s fine as FUCK but like you said I dont know him. I probably won’t ever see him again.” You sigh at the end. You really wanted to see him again. 

“What even happened that has you wrapped around his finger already?” You don’t speak for a moment as you think about how to say your thoughts without feeling dumb. 

“Please don’t tell me you only have a crush on him because he’s hot…You take your crushes too far for that.” There's a look of panic resting on her face. 

“He uh…well…you know how we took the pictures yesterday for BBC?” You ask and she's nodding. “I thought he looked good but I swear I wasn’t thinking anything irrational. It was when we had to take those stupid pictures and he rested his hand on my back…Ash, I swear there was a spark or something. It felt so… I don’t know…so.. right?” The cart you’re in is sitting at the top of the wheel and you’re taking advantage of the view while you wait for Ashley to respond. When she doesn’t, you turn to look at her. She’s staring blankly at you, giving you slow blinks. 

“What?” Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper. 

“Y/n, how old is he?” Her expression is unchanging. 

“Fifty five…I googled it last night..” You were feeling ashamed of your behavior. You felt like a kid with a stupid school crush. Pathetic. 

“Hm, that’s your oldest yet. What’s next, eighty or ninety five is probably more to your taste huh?” She’s making fun of you and it hurts. You know she’s never approved of your taste in men but you can’t really help it. It’s not like you block out guys your age, they just don’t satisfy you. They’re mean, boring, and losers. You wanted a real man. Someone who was established in life and could take care of you. 

“Whatever..” You let out softly. The cart was nearing the bottom once again and you were ready to be free of the room of gossip and judgment. 

“Y/n… you know I only want what’s best for you. I mean look at what happened with Pedro and all the other men before him.” She’s sincere and you understand her point of view but you wished she would understand yours as well. 

“I know Ash. It’s just a stupid crush anyways.” It was more of a reminder to yourself rather than to Ashley. She was right, you did have a habit of taking your crushes too far. You always had to try to get the guy who held your attention but you were confident in who you were. Most times it worked but a break from dating was what was best for you. 

—

To apologize for being mean, Ashley was currently on the phone with some poor worker from one of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants. She already made a reservation for tomorrow night but thought tonight would be better to cheer you up. You tried to reason with her by telling her that there were plenty of great restaurants in London we could get into tonight, but she insisted on having a very touristy dinner tonight instead of tomorrow, like it made any of a difference. 

“I know the reservation is for tomorrow but miss y/l/n needs it for tonight.” Her voice is strong and unwavering, determined to get a table tonight. She’s been throwing your name around left and right hoping that someone would know who you were. It all felt too pretentious for your liking but you couldn’t control Ashley when she was like this. 

You were sprawled across your hotel bed, scrolling through instagram. The voices inside your head were screaming to look at Hugh’s page, just a peak. Last night after you saw the comment, you practically threw your phone across the room, too afraid to look at it again. You're honestly thankful for that reaction because who knows how long you would have stayed awake thinking about it and diving into his life. You did make that quick google search to see just how old he was but that was the end of your exploration. 

Your fingers moved faster than your brain could process, typing his name into the search bar and clicking his profile the second it popped up. You didn’t have to scroll far into his account before your heart started to race. You clicked on a mirror selfie he had posted of him in his wolverine costume with sunglasses on. The pose and the caption really showed his age but for your sick brain, it made everything about him even sexier. You cautiously swiped out of that picture to prevent an accidental like. The next picture to catch your attention was one of Hugh in the trunk of a car. Your eyes almost jump out of your face with your tongue rolling onto the ground like the cartoons. The size of his arm was insane. You weren’t one to go for muscular men, but Hugh could choke you out with that arm any time he wanted to. His smile was so dreamy. You hadn’t seen Deadpool and Wolverine yet, not really having interest before, but now you might have to take a solo trip to the movies. You were cooked.

“Thank you, I’m glad we were able to come to an agreement. Yes tonight at 8pm.” Ashley is hanging up the phone and lets out a high pitched squeal. 

“How do you do that?” You’ve always been amazed at her negotiating skills and her ability to get whatever she wants. 

“Natural talent..also having a famous bestie doesn’t hurt.” She giggles and checks the time. Her laughter turns to a gasp. “We have to get ready, it’s already 6pm!” She’s gathering her things and as she’s rushing out of the door, she’s telling you that she’ll be back soon to get dolled up together. 

You had to learn how to style yourself over the past year of being in the limelight. Fashion was something you had been interested in but in Minden, if you dressed too out of the ordinary, people would stare. You shied away from it for longer than necessary and only recently learned how to express yourself freely thanks to your stylist, Kat. For dinner, you picked out a lengthy fitted black dress. It had the prettiest floral pattern that covered it with butterflies popping up here and there. What sold you on the dress though were the two frilly pieces of fabric that hung on either side of the dress. It was stunning and it looked even better on you. You decided on letting your hair sit in its natural state, not caring to put much effort into it. 

When Ashley came tumbling back into your room, wearing a red fitted dress, the two of you put some music on and got to work. You weren’t going for a super complicated makeup look, simply deciding on a small winged eyeliner, mascara, a dark blood red lip stain, and a hint of blush. Layering a few necklaces and adding some hooped earrings, your look was almost complete. All that was left were a pair of black heels that had two strings that you effortlessly swirled around your calf tying it into a cute bow at the top. 

“You look smoking hot! Let me take a picture of you.” Ashley whistles and grabs your phone to take a few shots. She was right, you looked good. You decided to post one of the pictures of your instagram story with a small caption that said ‘dinner time 😋’. 

What you loved about Ashley is that she took your fame with a grain of salt most of the time. When you wanted to take an uber or taxi somewhere, she never complained. You often got tired of taking private cars everywhere, wanting a little normality when you could get it. The uber ride over was a quiet one, both of you too focused on the view outside of your own windows, soaking in the reality of being in Europe. 

The restaurant was gorgeous. It wasn’t over the top fancy with normal everyday people littering the dining area, it was nice. Ashley and yourself were in quiet conversation as you looked over the menu. Feeling adventurous, you asked the waitress what she recommended and you ended up ordering the dish. Sipping on your espresso martini, you took a moment to feel grateful for the life you got to live. 

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Ashley is sighing with a slight roll of her eyes. 

“Good evening y/n.” A voice is approaching behind you before you could question Ashleys sudden annoyance. It was a voice you recognized, hearing it the day before. You turn around to see Hugh standing behind your left shoulder and you stand up to greet him properly. You’ve gotten accustomed to hugging almost everyone you meet nowadays, you lean in without thinking. 

“Oh my god! Hi Hugh.” There's a big grin on your face. It felt like a sign that you were seeing him again. 

“I don’t want to bother you ladies for too long. I recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi. I also wanted to apologize for bringing up Pedro yesterday, it was rude of me to do without even introducing myself first.” He lets out in his gruff voice, accent strong. His arm and yours are still interlocked in a weird side hug type of position. 

“It’s totally fine, you didn’t know.” You look into his eyes with utmost sincerity. “Oh uh, this is my best friend Ashley. Ashley, this is Hugh.” He breaks the side hug to reach to shake Ashley’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you.” Hugh lets out and Ashley responds with a short ‘you too.’ You give her a look that says ‘be nice’. 

“Well, I’ll get out of your hair. It was really nice seeing you again sweetheart.” He smiles down at you.

“It was nice seeing you again as well.” 

“Here let me.” He’s motioning to your chair. You take a seat and he's pushing it forward for you. 

“Thank you.” Looking back at him with a shy smile. He gives your shoulder a squeeze of acknowledgment and he’s walking away. 

“Maybe the universe does want you with a man old enough to be your grandfather. I mean what are the fucking odds of running into him at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant.” Ashley lets out in total disbelief. 

You don’t say anything, you give a sly shrug instead. The rest of the dinner is tame. The food was delicious and you felt woozy from the martinis you’d been downing. Ashley let you know half way through the dinner that Hugh was sitting not to far from us and that he ‘had a fucking staring problem’, her words exactly. It made you giddy to think he was looking over here and if you begged Ashley to trade seats with you it was no one else's business. She obviously refused and you spent the rest of your time focusing on your friend, with Hugh sitting in the corner of your mind. 

When you got back to the hotel, you immediately stripped yourself from your heels and dress. Laying in the bed in nothing but your undergarments, you opened instagram and took a look at your story one more time, wanting to see just how good you looked. It was shallow for sure but it made you feel good. You saw the hearts flooding the bottom of the screen and decided to swipe up to see who had liked it. As you scrolled nothing really caught your attention until that name caught your eye again.

“I recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi.” 

What the actual fuck.

thank you for reading <3

part three

series taglist: @chronicallybubbly @spideybv28 @pear-1206 @robertthehoover @reidsworld @bloody-bunni666 @quillycrow @kythefangirl25 @bluetimeombre

I think I got everyone tagged that asked to be! If you want to be added/removed let me know. <3

[reidsflwr]

it’s been a long time coming ; spencer reid.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: back in high school you used to have a crush on spencer and now you got to work together.

warnings: nothing really but english isn’t my first language so it might have some writing mistakes (sorry) and i didn’t really like how i finished this so if you guys like i might write a second part.

Your first day at the BAU was a whirlwind. As the newest profiler, you felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. You had spent weeks preparing for this moment, but nothing could have truly prepared you for the reality of stepping into the office for the first time. The team welcomed you warmly, though you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the sheer brilliance of your new colleagues.

Spencer Reid, in particular, caught your attention. He was everything you remembered from high school: intelligent, slightly awkward, and undeniably endearing. Despite your attempt to stay composed, you felt the same fluttering nerves you had back then.

When Spencer introduced himself, you found it hard to maintain eye contact. “Hi, I’m Spencer,” he said with a friendly smile. “Welcome to the team.”

You managed a nervous smile. “Thank you, Spencer. It’s nice to meet you.”

Spencer’s smile widened, and he seemed eager to make a connection. “If you need any help with the databases or anything else, just let me know.”

You nodded quickly, avoiding his gaze. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

As the day progressed, you tried to focus on your work, but every time you glanced at Spencer, your heart raced. You could tell he was making an effort to be friendly and supportive, but you were too nervous to engage with him properly. It was clear he noticed your reluctance but didn’t push it, giving you space.

⌢୨୧⌢

The days following your first encounter were a struggle. Spencer’s attempts to be friendly and helpful often ended in awkward silences. He would offer to explain things you might not understand or bring you coffee, but every time you tried to respond, you stumbled over your words or offered a rushed, one-word reply.

One morning, Spencer approached you at the coffee machine. “Hey, I’ve been reading this fascinating book on criminal psychology. Would you like to borrow it? I think you’d find it really interesting.”

You forced a smile, feeling the familiar flush creep up your cheeks. “Thanks, but I have a lot of research to catch up on.”

Spencer’s face fell slightly, but he quickly recovered. “No problem. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

Later that week, you found yourself alone in the break room when Spencer came in, carrying a stack of papers. “I noticed you were working on the same case. I thought you might need some additional resources,” he said, placing the papers on the table.

You took a deep breath, trying to muster the courage to speak. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and you quickly retreated to your desk, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration at your own behavior.

Despite Spencer’s best efforts to reach out, you continued to shy away, struggling to hide your feelings. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to interact with him; rather, every interaction left you more flustered than the last.

⌢୨୧⌢

The day came when Hotch assigned you and Spencer to interview the mother of a victim. You were grateful for the change of pace but also anxious about spending extended time with Spencer. As you drove together to the victim’s home, you focused on the task at hand, trying to push your nerves aside.

Spencer’s attempts to make conversation during the drive were met with brief, hesitant responses from you. “So, how are you finding the BAU so far?” he asked, his eyes occasionally flicking toward you.

You shrugged, feeling the weight of your own silence. “It’s… it’s good.”

Spencer’s brow furrowed. “You know, you seem a bit distant. I can’t help but wonder if I’ve done something to upset you.”

Your heart sank at his words. “What do you mean?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding me,” Spencer explained. “Whenever I try to be helpful or friendly, you… well, you seem uncomfortable. I assumed maybe I did something wrong.”

Feeling a pang of guilt, you decided it was time to explain. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Actually, it’s the opposite.”

Spencer’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh? What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “Well, it’s a bit complicated. We knew each other in high school. We even had a few classes together.”

Spencer looked puzzled. “Really? I don’t remember you from high school. I think I would have remembered.”

You nodded, your cheeks flushing with a mix of nostalgia and embarrassment. “I actually had a crush on you back then and i guess now that we’re working together, those old feelings are resurfacing, and it makes me a bit awkward around you.”

Spencer’s eyes widened. “Wait, you mean you had a crush on me!?”

You nodded, a soft blush creeping onto your cheeks. “Yes, I did. I thought you were incredibly smart and cute. I was too shy to ever talk to you. I remember how you used to come into class with these fascinating books and how you were always so focused. I just thought you were amazing.”

Spencer’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. “I was so awkward back then. I mean, I’m still a bit weird, but not as much, I hope. I didn’t think anyone would ever see me that way, especially back then.”

You shook your head with a smile. “No, I thought you were adorable. You were this brilliant, quirky guy who seemed to be in his own world, and I found that really endearing.”

Spencer looked at you, clearly flustered. “I had no idea you felt that way. I always thought you were avoiding me because you didn’t like me.”

You smiled reassuringly. “No, I just didn’t know how to act around you. I didn’t want to make things awkward.”

Spencer’s mind raced as he processed your words. “Wow, I’m kind of speechless. I never imagined…”

Before he could continue, you gently cut him off. “Let’s just focus on the interview for now. It’s important that we get this right.”

Spencer nodded, still processing the revelation. “Right, of course.”

As you both approached the victim’s mother’s home, the air between you felt lighter, charged with a new understanding. Spencer, though still surprised, was clearly intrigued and more attentive than ever. The tension that had once been present seemed to dissolve, replaced by a newfound curiosity and connection between you.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

escape from isla nublar

words: 2.6k

warnings: jurassic world alternate universe, dinosaurs, violence, brief mentions of gore (but not detailed), illusions of sex but not actually written out, established relationship, soft!rafe, death tw, proposal, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks

a/n: im having a lot of fun with writing aus, so here! take another one!

“thank you so much for bringing me here, rafe.” you coo out, getting onto your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

rafes arm slides around your waist, keeping you tugged in close as the boat approaches the dock of the island. you squeal along with all the children gathered around impatient and ready to jump off the boat and explore.

“welcome to isla nublar!” the voice of a friendly sounding woman says over the speakers. “please disembark slowly and carefully and enjoy your stay in jurassic park!”

“baby, can i just say-” rafe begins as the crowd shuffles forward, most with bags in their hands or suitcases being wheeled behind them, but rafe has already arranged to have them brought to your room so you can get right to exploring. 

“mhm.” you hum, encouraging him to continue.

“that you've been so chill this entire trip so far. proud of you.” it might sound weird to anyone else, but you've always gotten nervous when leaving your home for too long, worried something bad would happen. rafe saw it on your first trip he took you on where you tried and very much failed to hide your anxiety.

“im so excited there's like no room for nerves.” you giggle as you walk down the gangway. “and the fact that you let me plan everything. you know how much i love a schedule.”

“we are so different.” rafe shakes his head, hand squeezing yours as you step into the concrete, turning away from the crowds heading to the resort and towards the main street and the iconic innovation center.

“opposites attract.” you state, and it couldn't be more true, but rafe loves you more than he could ever envision caring about someone.

as you round the lagoon, trying to see if you're able to catch a glimpse of the giant mosasaurs in its depths, you feel your excitement levels only elevate more.

“oh my gosh, there's the petting zoo entrance.” you turn and pout to rafe.

“isn't that mostly for kids?” he raises a singular eyebrow.

“i mean yeah, but you also get to pet baby dinosaurs. totally worth it.” you tug him towards the entrance.

--

“okay.” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips. “i guess we should slow down so we have things to do for the rest of the trip.” 

“im already exhausted.” rafe chuckles. “how about dinner then to the hotel?”

as tired as rafe is, he's certainly not going to complain about being run around isla nublar when he gets to see the gleaming smile on your face every time he looks at you.

“sounds good… we could go to winstons steak house,” you point in one direction, then the other “jurassic cafe, or the brachiosaurus restaurant.”

“how about whatever is closest.” rafe rubs his hand over his face.

“okay steak house it is.” it's your turn to take rafes hand. 

he barely manages to stay awake through dinner, and by the time you're back at the hotel, he's passed out on the bed before he can change into his pajamas.

--

“what would you like to do today?” you ask rafe. “anything but that hang gliding, you know how i feel about heights.”

“the gyrospheres look fun.” rafe shrugs and looks at the map pulled up on your phone. “or kayaking.”

“why not both.” you toss your phone to the side and cup rafes cheek, bringing your lips together in a kiss.

“you're the best boyfriend ever.”

rafe places a hand on your shoulder and pushes you down onto the mattress, laying you back.

“we can wait a little bit though, right?” the smirk on his face gives him away.

“i think that would be fine.” you giggle, pulling rafes shirt off over his head.

--

“that was actually so fun.” you hum out.

“it was when you let me drive and we could finally go fast.” rafe says. you were halfway through the gyrosphere tour when you handed the controls over to rafe, allowing him to speed through the ankylosaurus herds.

“but we will not be doing that on the kayak.” you hold your finger up.

“yes ma’am.” rafe says, slipping the attendant a $20 bill to move you to the front of the line, not wanting you to have to wait.

“life vest.” rafe says, slipping it over your head while he just grabs his and throws it into the kayak, not planning on putting it on unless something happens.

rafe helps you step down into the kayak, grabbing the paddle knowing he's going to sit in the back and do all the work.

--

“this is so beautiful.” you say, leaning back into your seat as you look at the stegosaurus and it's long neck reaching up to grab the leaves, his feet submerged in the water as you paddle past.

“this might be even better than the velociraptors.” rafe says.

“wait-” you sit up. “whats that sound? is that a radio?”

it takes a second for rafes ears to pick it up, but he can hear the frantic static of voices over a walkie talkie.

rafe continues to paddle, realizing suddenly that you've separated from all the other kayaks and can't see anyone. he brings the kayak closer to the side when he hears the radio as you reach out to pick it up from the muddy bank.

you turn the volume knob up as you try to make out what the voice is saying through the water logged speaker.

“we sent the containment unit out with nonlethal force and they're all dead! immediate evacuation, get everyone inside and back to the hotel!”

“rafe…” you turn towards him, eyes widening in fear.

“im sure it's just some kid pulling a prank.” rafe takes the radio, finding the speech button and pressing it. “what is going on?”

“who is that? this is an authorized channel.” one voice says before another cuts it out.

“whoever you are, seek shelter immediately. the indominus rex is on the loose, currently heading towards-” the radio sparks and then dies out.

“shit.” rafe hits it against his thigh, but it's clearly no use.

“rafe.” your voice is already shaking. “the indominus rex. i don't know what it is, but it doesn't sound good.”

“okay.” rafe stands up and steps out of the kayak, pulling it onto the bank before helping you out. “baby-” he places his hands on your shoulders. “i need you to stay calm. you know this island like the back of your hand. where are we?”

“we-” you take a deep, shaking breath. “we are halfway through the kayak adventure. we should head just west and find the road to the aviary.”

“okay.” rafe presses a kiss to your forehead. “let's go quickly and quietly. im sure they've already contained whatever dinosaur escaped.”

“yeah.” you nod, gulping, not so sure.

rafes steady hand stays in yours, helping you over bushes and downed trees.

“shouldn't be much farther.” you bite your lip, hoping you didn't get the direction wrong.

“hang on.” rafe whispers, placing a finger over his lips. 

before you can fully comprehend what's happening, he's tugging you down under a giant tropical plant, the leaves hiding you as you hear whatever rafe did, the pounding footsteps of dinosaurs.

“that's the stegosaurus we saw earlier.” you remember the distinct marking along its side.

“get over here.” rafe pulls you in tighter, not allowing you to see as he presses you against the stem of the large plant, covering your body with his own.

“it's okay, it's a herbivore.” you say, when you hear the second set of dinosaur footsteps following it. you tense up, and you can feel a panic attack setting in as you pick your head up to see some sort of giant rex running after it.

you both stay still and silent until it's clearly far enough away.

“rafe.��� you tremble as you turn into your back, his body still hovering over yours, protecting you, willing to put himself in the line of danger if he needs to.

“it's okay.” his voice is betraying how scared he is as well, but he's going to try his best to not let you see it. “let's just get to the aviary.”

“i-i can't.” you shake your head. “im fucking terrified.” 

“me too, baby.” he says. “but we gotta get under cover somewhere before that thing catches up to the stegosaurus and comes back for us.”

you swallow deeply, eyes closing for a brief minute, gaining all your courage you possibly can.

“okay.” you're up and moving quickly, running towards the aviary. your steps are no longer balanced and cautious, moving quickly through the jungle until you make it through the trees to the grassy plane.

“the aviary!” you point at the large glass dome, just in time to see a helicopter careening into it, smashing a hole that instantly has pterodactyls flying out.

“shit!” rafe shouts, tugging you back into the treeline.

“we're gonna die.” you sob out, not able to hold back your tears as you crumple to the ground.

“no.” rafe says firmly. “i will not lose you.”

he knows he needs to move, especially as the pterodactyls come closer, and he doesn't have time to console you enough to get you ready to move.

rafe reaches down and pulls you into his arms, hugging your shaking form against his chest as he follows the same path of disturbed leaves and muddy footprints back to the river.

“i need you to paddle.” rafe says, glad your kayak is still in the same space. “i know you're scared, but you need to help me here. we need to go fast.”

you sniffle and look up at rafe, your big eyes filled with tears causing his heart to pang out in pain. “okay.”

rafe bends down, pressing your lips together in a soft and caressing kiss before climbing onto the back of the kayak.

you both immediately begin to paddle hastily, not knowing where the next meat eating dinosaur could be.

“the river goes underground then should let us off near main street.” you tell rafe, eyes briefly closing to envision the map in your head before putting your entire focus back onto paddling.

“baby, still.” rafe says softly, both of you pausing as you look upwards, seeing pterodactyls wings flapping over, thankfully not seeming to notice you under the treetops, yet you still wait until they pass over before beginning to paddle again.

“there's the cave.” you say, pointing as the river bends and you head underground, lights strung along the cave ceiling as you paddle underground, able to take a deep breath now that you're under cover.

“are there any dinosaurs in this cave?” rafe questions, helping you move back so you're leaned against him. 

“shouldn't be.” you say, eyes closing as your adrenaline drops now that you're mostly safe.

“go ahead and rest.” rafe hums as he paddles, looking down at you in relief.

--

“y/n.” rafe shakes your shoulder and you sit up with a gasp, looking around, waiting to see the indominus rex charging at you.

“it's okay.” rafe says. “we're just leaving the cave.”

“so that wasn't all just a nightmare?” you sit up, knowing you must not have been asleep that long, but already feeling majorly refreshed.

“im afraid not.” rafe sighs as you grab your paddle to help steer.

“so this let's out…”

“near the resort. we should be safe there.” you squint into the dying sunlight as the kayak leaves the caves and enters into the large man-made lake.

you both quickly steer to the side, glad to be out of the kayak and on your own two feet.

“to the resort.” you say, able to tell that there are still people running from main street in that direction.

rafe is about to toss the paddle back into the boat when a screech comes from overhead and you both look up to see a pterodactyl perched over cave entrance.

“run!” rafe yells, not turning his back from the dinosaur to see that you haven't moved an inch, not leaving him.

the pterodactyl lunges forward just as rafe swings his paddle at it, hitting it in the beak, but it only enrages the dinosaur more.

you move quickly to grab your paddle, joining rafe in hitting at it, keeping the snapping beak away from pecking at your skin.

“baby, go.” rafe grunts out.

“no! im not leaving you.” you keep slapping at its beak and head until it gets annoyed and roars before taking off to the sky.

“fuck.” rafe groans. “i hate dinosaurs. sorry baby.”

“that's okay.” you say with a slight laugh. “i don't think i like them that much anymore either.”

you take off towards the resort, keeping your oars held tightly in your hands, just in case any pterodactyls try something.

“onto the ship or into the resort?” you question, seeing people trying to get into both.

rafe opens his mouth to respond when a roar rips through the air.

he looks around quickly, pulling you into taller grass, not having any other close cover.

“some of the gates must be down.” you whisper.

“why?” rafe questions, not doubting you as his eyes search through the field before you point at the crowd of people, even more frantic as you watch from a distance.

“because there's a metriacanthosaurus.”

the name makes rafe blink harshly before he sees it, the dinosaur flinging people around as it takes advantage of the hoards of people trying to get to cover.

“oh my god.” you cover your mouth, watching as the carnivore rips someone in half.

“don't watch.” rafe pulls you further into the grass, tucking you against his chest.

you close your eyes and focus on his arm wrapped around your shoulder instead of the screams.

“i got you.” rafe whispers, free hand tapping his shorts to make sure the box is still there in his pocket.

“i know.” you press your lips into his neck. “i know.”

gunshots ring out and rafe looks out of the grass to see that the dinosaur has finally brought down and everyone is safely inside.

“okay, let's run.” rafe helps you stand, deciding to head towards the boat instead of the hotel, knowing it's just one step closer to getting you safe.

you take off in a run, entering up the gangway you went down just yesterday morning.

“inside the cabin.” one of the staff says quickly, ushering you through the glass doors into the packed hallway of people, but rafe keeps moving, tucking you into him until you're towards the front of the boat, able to move up a level and find a place to sit down.

“we're okay.” you say as you relax into the sofa. “we’re alive.”

“i love you.” rafe says, head dropping to your shoulder. “im never talking you on another vacation like this again, but i love you.”

“and i thought you were protective before.” you chuckle, breathing out heavily.

“really ruined my whole plan though.” rafe knows that you both just experienced a trauma that will no doubt need to be unpacked later, but you're just happy to be safe inside the cruise ship.

“what plan?” you lift your head up.

“not the best time but-” rafe sits up and pulls a box out of his pocket. “i planned to ask you in front of the waterfall, all romantic and sweet. but i don't want to waste a single moment longer.”

rafe flicks the top of the box up to reveal a glimmering ring. “will you marry me?”

you let out a squeal and jump into rafes arms, “yes!”

sfw tags: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0

[booksandchainmail]

continuing my read of Anne Lister's diaries, now up to 1820 (part 1 here).

It has to be incredibly awkward at these houseparties where Anne has had liaisons with multiple women there, but I'm given to understand this is also how modern lesbian socializing works

It gets brought up that the only thing preventing Anne and Mariana from living together (at least in retrospect) was money, with Anne needing to be able to provide ~30 pounds a year for Mariana, which sheds a new light on how focused Anne is on her financials and potential inheritance

Class keeps coming up! Mariana would be okayish with Anne having a lowerclass girl on the side, but not someone in their social circles

Notably Anne did not encode this passage: "Sat up lovemaking, she conjuring me to be faithful, to consider myself as married, & always to act to other women as if I was M---'s husband." And from then on she does! They talk it over a bit more through the next few days, and from then Anne focuses on how in time they may live together, and refers to Mariana as her wife

Mariana's later letters also reflect this: "I shall not lose you, my husband, shall I? Oh, no, no. You will not, cannot, forget I am your constant, faithful, your affectionate wife."

It is noted again that Anne has a gentleman's manners towards other women, and there's a bit where a woman stops to visit Mariana and says that other girls are scared of Anne, particularly citing her "deep-toned voice as very singular"

"Yet my manners are certainly peculiar, not at all masculine but rather softly gentleman-like. I know how to please girls." No one every accused Anne Lister of lacking self-confidence! Also, interesting to see the Takarazuka-style butch ethos of "woman who is better at being a man then men are" already present here.

"Musing on the subject of being my own master. Of going to Buxton in my own carriage with a man & a maidservant. Meeting with a elegant girl of family & fortune; paying her attention;taking her to see Castleton; staying all night; having a double bedroom; gaining her affections, etc. Mused on all this but did not let it lead to anything worse."

one of Anne's acquaintances mentions a local cook/housekeeper, Mrs Ruspin, who after several years "turn[ed] out to be a man", and then eloped to London with the housemaid and opened a shop

The most common word in this book is probably vulgar. Anne thinks everyone is vulgar: her neighbors, her family, random townsfolk, girls she's flirting with...

We now come to the house party from sitcom-hell: present are Anne Lister, Isabella (her longterm ex who she's trying to extricate herself from), Isabella's sister Charlotte, Nantz (the sister of Anne's wife, who Anne had a brief fling with), Nantz's sister Harriet, and Miss Vallance (new and pretty).

I truly cannot summarize the amount of fuckery going on in this section. Anne spends every evening hanging out for a bit in someone's bedroom, then she'll switch rooms and whoever the new room belongs too will pout about her having been somewhere else beforehand. Anne is paying a lot of attention to Miss Vallance, Isabella and Nantz are jealous, Anne is trying to console Isabella without changing any of her behavior, Charlotte is indignant on Isabella's behalf, Anne is half-heartedly and smugly sleeping with Nantz, etc

And of course Anne caps this off by starting to flirt with Harriet, meaning that she has now hit on all four of her wife's sisters

[yesimwriting]

Pulling Away

A/n did i write smut for once? yeah. also timeline wise is this perfectly accurate? it’s iffy,, but this fic isn’t about the plot too much so it’s okay

Summary: You’re not the only one that’s feeling a little territorial thanks to the influx of people you’re around in Jackson. 

warnings: 18+, implied age gap, no condom, a tiny bit manipulative if you squint, brief mention of losing virginity.

----

He’s not a force of nature, no matter how hard he might pretend to be for the sake of those around him. Joel can’t actually change anything. So the shift in temperature you feel as Joel stills has to be a byproduct of what’s in your head. 

The kind of burning cold that better fits a fever runs through you and you hate yourself for it. This isn’t the first time you’ve been delusional when it comes to him. 

You’re working off of a quarter of his face against low lighting. It doesn’t make sense for you to be able to feel so much from the little of him that you can see. It’s not anger. Or at least, not just that. There’s definitely a subdued rage radiating from him, but it’s undercut by something that punches you straight in the gut. 

Maybe you’re being a little unfair, but you have a right to it at this point. You can’t follow him around blindly like some kind of puppy forever. Especially now that you’re both settled enough to be able to think of things outside of pure survival.

“Ellie’s asleep.” A flat observation that you can’t explain. Maybe it’s the need to break the silence, or maybe it’s a genuine attempt at making things feel normal. You two should still be able to talk. You never wanted that to end. “Swore she wasn’t tired, but passed out as soon as her head touched the mattress.” 

Joel lets out a small sound from the back of his throat. It’s a spike in the atmosphere. “Think I’m gonna go to bed, too.” You don’t understand your awkwardness or the urge to create distance. It’s not like Joel would hurt you, but then again, the buzz of adrenaline doesn’t seem to be coming from a place of fear. It’s an uneasy burning that worsens when you raise your eyes enough to meet his. “Night.” 

The one word is a little better and somehow so much worse. Not aggressive or trying to make things better. It’s just there. Civil. 

When he says nothing, you take it as your sign to call it a night. Tomorrow could be better. Sure, your rocky dynamic might be going through growing pains while you set boundaries that should have been established long ago, but you’ll likely survive this. You’re all staying together in the same house in Jackson for the time being and you both care too much about Ellie to separate over something small. 

Even if Joel won’t directly admit to it, the part of your relationship that feels like co-parenting is sacred. That’s part of the reason why the feelings you’ve been fighting with yourself to dismantle are so complicated. He cares about Ellie more than he wants to admit and the last thing you need right now is to tear away the little stability she’s finally been given. Not over a few awkward conversations and stiff moments. 

The weird irony that vaguely reflects the issues of the world before isn’t lost on you. If someone were to squint at the situation, you’d seem like a wife trapped in a marriage for the sake of her children. Maybe if it was happening to someone else you’d have enough energy to find it funny. 

You turn carefully, like a too loud squeak of your shoes could be what snaps the thinning thread tying you two to a hint of casualness. You don’t need to pass him to get to where you’re sleeping. The three of you had been set up in a space that allowed for each person to have their own room. It’s like that in theory, but in practice it’s more like Ellie’s room, Joel’s room, and the spare. 

A comfortable enough bedroom that you’ve maybe spent the entire night alone in twice in the weeks you’ve been here. You can’t even pretend that you keep the few things you own in there either. Joel’s an even lighter traveler than you, so slowly your items made their way into the drawers in his room. Now, your room is basically just where you go to change into and out of sleepwear.

You’ll get used to it, used to the draft that originally led to you giving up on rocky sleep the first night you ended up sleeping next to Joel. Your dreams kept you up even more than the cold, but when Joel’s drowsy voice called out to you in the dark, asking why you were awake, you blamed the night’s chill. That’s how it first happened. 

It was a mistake you should have never let turn into habit. You’re correcting it now. Setting boundaries to prevent heartbreak. It’s only a matter of time considering the way the women here look at him.

“Since when do you sleep in there?”

His voice is so gruff it instinctually freezes you. Any sarcastic comment at the back of your throat vanishes immediately. The both of you are fully aware of how you end up each night, but it’s a boundary in itself not to mention it. You’re not sure if it’s more him or you, but what happens at night and early in the morning is never mentioned.

It’s a dip into another reality. A space where Joel’s a little lighter, almost more open. Sometimes he’ll drag your arm with him when he moves onto his side, a silent way of asking you to stay close. On the best nights, he’ll joke about it, letting your limbs meld together under a blanket and swear he’s just trying to keep you warm out of the kindness of his heart. 

His humor is the worst. The kind that some might justify as a result of years of it being at a stalemate for years considering the tragic state of the world, but you know better. They’re the kind of jokes that take a second to settle because of his general exterior, but are meant to be so dumb they force out a smile. In another life, the little comments are dad jokes.

The peace bleeds into the mornings now, he’ll keep the closeness and remind you that you don’t have to get up immediately by mumbling something about Ellie still being asleep. Like she’s the only thing significant enough to get you two to return to reality. 

You’re convinced that these moments exist because neither of you mention them. He’s crossing a line you didn’t realize meant so much to you and he’s being dramatic it, too. It’s not the rarest thing for you to ‘attempt’ to sleep in your own bed. Sure, you’re more likely to lay in that room for a few hours on nights where Ellie stays up a little later, but this isn’t the strangest thing you’ve done. 

He’s ripping any chance of returning to that separate world away from you. It stings more than it should. “Thought I’d give it a try,” you voice is too low, too defensive, “It’s not a big deal.” 

The defense sounds so weak in your own ears, you don’t even want to imagine what he took from it. “Bullshit.”

His voice comes out in such a low huff you feel it more than hear it. If the sound had felt any less dangerous, you would have pretended to mistake it for another wordless grunt. Your lips part slowly as your mind struggles to create any kind of logical response. 

Pretending is clearly getting you nowhere. The only reason you ever pretended it would was pure delusion. Joel has always been able to see through you, through any shift in mood. Even when your lies are better, his ability to sense them is uncanny. 

He turns with no warning. Joel crosses the space between you before you can even fully register his steps. Your body tenses as heat rushes to your face in result of an oddly charged parody of fight or flight. You almost step back, one heel shifting back, but then you meet his gaze and the determined glint behind his eye is enough to melt you into place. 

There’s something else there, too. A focus that pins you into place even further. Holds you there better than the barrel of a pistol could. 

The absurdity of the warmth rooted in your chest should be enough to make the feeling go away. It doesn’t, so you force your lips to part again. You need to say something. Anything. “Joel?” Not that. Not just his name in a voice that feels violently small. 

“You’re pullin’ away.” 

The accusation in his voice leaves no room for argument. You try anyways, “No.” The rest of your thoughts can’t come out while you’re looking at him at the same time. There’s shame in dropping your gaze to focus on your shoes and the little space between you. “It’s not like that.” 

Joel lets out a low sound. The creak of the floor as he steps forward again snaps you out of your trance. You step back in a desperate attempt to keep the space between the two of you equal. Your back hits the wall before you can come close to achieving your goal. It’s a knee jerk reaction that leaves your face feeling even warmer than before. A part of you expects Joel to laugh at the sound or at least comment on it. He doesn’t. He continues forward until his mouth is so close to your ear the warmth of his breath lingers when he exhales. 

He takes a second there, relishing in your stillness. “Don’t lie to me.” Joel pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. “You don’t want to talk to me, you’re talkin’ about leavin’.” The southern drawl of his voice is increasing with his frustration. It’s distracting in a way that feels too convenient. Like he’s doing this on purpose. 

You swallow once. “You found your brother. I have a sister out there, I’d--I think now that things are more settled with Ellie it wouldn’t be the worst thing for me to look for her.” 

“And you don’t want us goin’ with you, but you’re more than willing to let the guy that’s always lookin’ at you--” 

“Oh my god, is that what this is about?” You are insane. Of course his issue is who mentioned it. John knows travel, leaves Jackson and comes back in one piece when he needs to. He wouldn’t be the worst person to have with you if you did want to start a rudimentary search for your sister. “I didn’t make any plans with John, it just came up.” 

“You don’t want us goin’ with you.” 

Your throat feels dry. The thought of it makes you feel cold. You haven’t seen your sister in a few years and so much has changed. You’re no longer in the QZ and your sister has no way of knowing that. She can’t reach out if there’s trouble or good news and she has no reason to assume that you’re safe. You know where she lives, and if she’s not there, you know a few of her usual spots. She doesn’t typically stray too far from her bubble. It wouldn’t be a long trip, just long enough. 

Long enough to give you some space. Long enough to remember what it’s like to not be around Joel all the time. Long enough to feel less about him. 

And you’d come back. You wouldn’t just walk out of his life and Ellie’s forever. The little bit of space you’re trying to get would make it easier for you to stick around in the long run because it’s the only way you can think to get rid of the feelings that are trying to ruin everything. 

“We haven’t been here that long and Ellie’s finally starting to feel settled. I don’t want to drag her out of that yet and make her feel like her entire life is just going to be her being dragged around the country.” 

Your words are a jumble, rushed together in a way that makes the honesty of them less effective. It’s a good point. Ellie just called her room hers the other day and even asked about moving the bed against a different wall.

Joel lets out a low breath, eyes hardening. “You’re right. She’s settlin’ and she needs you.” He knows he’s hit his mark when you don’t respond. “How do you think she’s gonna take the news that you’re leaving?” 

“Leaving to visit my sister.” You struggle to swallow. “Temporarily. It’ll take less than two weeks.” 

His lips pull into a frown as his eyebrows together. Moody and brooding. The look you’ve openly referred to as his old man scowl. “With John.” 

Ugh. This again. Why does it matter? Yes, John will be there, but it’s not like it’s just you and John. Your sister isn’t that far and she has access to supplies that aren’t common, she has an understanding with people that have easy access to medical supplies. 

But even if it was just you and John, it doesn’t matter. There are a lot of areas in which you factor in Joel’s opinion, but this is definitely not one of them. You two aren’t together and with the way he does nothing to show any discontent when the girls here start to look at him, he definitely doesn’t need you keeping his bed warm at night. 

“If I go, he wouldn’t be the only one there.” The fact that you’re trying to justify John’s presence leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re a grown woman, free to associate with whoever you want. You might jokingly call him your old man from time to time, but he has no right. “And if even if he was, what does it matter?” 

His jaw locks and the downwards tilt of his chin erases the little bit of confidence you’ve managed to build. “You’ve seen the way that boy looks at you.”

You have to bite your tongue to avoid from blurting out that he’s also seen the way majority of the women you see on a daily basis look at him. Joel’s also exaggerating. John does not have any feelings for you, and if he did, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like you see John as anything more than a friend. But even if you did--it is not his business. At all. 

“He doesn’t.” There’s little point in saying that, Joel’s not one to have his mind so easily swayed and he’s been wary of John since the beginning. Sometimes it even feels like the more you insist that he’s a good friend, the more Joel seems to dislike him. “And if he did, it doesn’t matter.” 

Your words feel like a retreat they shouldn’t need to be. Small, the meaning of the sentence compacted and straining against the limited syllables. A part of you expects Joel to understand what you do mean. That it doesn’t matter because it takes two interested parties to form any kind of relationship. That your mind isn’t even there in terms of feeling safe...that the only person who has ever made you feel safe enough to imagine anything beyond friendship is right in front of you. 

For the first time, Joel doesn’t pick up on the relevance of what isn’t said. You can feel his lack of understanding in the way he moves, placing one hand on the wall, near your head. You blink, trying in vain to explain the motion, explain his proximity. He’s caging you in. 

The heat of his body is practically inescapable, amplified by the way he smells. Joel showered a little earlier, his natural scent combining pleasantly with that of plain soap. After so many nights next to him, you would think you would have developed a tolerance. You haven’t. And even if you did, you doubt it’d matter...this is different. Dizzying. 

“Doesn’t matter?” 

He’s somehow even closer and somehow not touching you. The realization that that’s the worst part of this leaves your stomach fluttering. You need the feeling gone, so you force out the first words that come to mind, “It matters as much as all the girls that look at you like that.” 

It feels more bitter than it comes out, leaving a metallic taste on your tongue. You need out. You need space. You need sleep. Joel’s silence feels like opportunity, so as subtly as you can you try to shift away from the wall. Your back is off the wall for less than a second before you’re pushed back against it. 

Your body hits the wall before you can realize that Joel’s hand is on your hip. There’s too much surprise for that fact to settle, so you look up at him almost bewildered. You expect him to let go or at least look somewhat apologetic. He does the opposite, moving the hand on the wall under your jaw and closing the distance between you in a motion so quick you can barely register it. 

His mouth is on yours before your mind can catch up. It makes no difference to him. He’s rabid in his patience, taking what he wants without forcing your lips to part. His hand squeezes your hip and all at once it connects. You gasp and Joel pins you to the wall even more securely, deepening the kiss with an expert’s ease. 

It lasts until you can’t breathe and ends with his teeth grazing against your bottom lip as he pulls away. “All of this,” the words are exhaled lowly, “’Cause you’re jealous.” 

The kiss left you so light headed your first instinct is to just agree. To not think and do or say whatever you need to in order to get him that close again. But his tone is too sure, too teasing, and the implication isn’t something he can just get away with. “Jealous?” His smugness is hard to take with him holding you against the wall like this. It’s too vulnerable, like this might be some kind of game to him. It makes you feel transparent. Hollow. “Fuck whoever you want, I don’t care.” 

It’s like you’ve said nothing until Joel has the audacity to squeeze your hip. “Whoever I want?” His hand shifts up your hip, your shirt moving with him. “Hm.” His hum settles beneath your skin, effectively silencing you as his eyes take their time raking over your face and down your body. “Those were some big words from you.” 

Heat rushes to your face. It’s ridiculous--you curse more than that on a regular basis. He’s playing into context, too aware of what he’s doing. The urge to push burns twice as hard as buzzing in your chest. “They’re true. We’re not--we’re not anything, so if I want to go with--” 

“I’m not losin’ you.” There’s a desperation in there that comes out so hard it circles back to vulnerable. “You wanna go see your sister, we go see your sister. That’s how we got through everything else.” The hand on your hip moves down, his fingers dipping beneath the elastic waistband of your shorts. You hate yourself a little for the way your breath audibly catches. “Understand?” 

His hand lowers even further, long fingers pressing against the fabric of your underwear. You’re not breathing right and you can’t bring yourself to care. The only thing you can think of is closer. “Y-yes.” 

“’Yes’ what?” No sympathy in his voice or anything that would give away that he has a hand shoed down your pants. 

His touch picks up pace, rubbing against you until a whimper escapes your lips. “Yes, sir.”

Joel moves his hand away with no warning. The whine that escapes your lips doesn’t feel like your own. He’s barely touched you and you’re already like this. “Barely touched you and you’re already listening.” He hooks two fingers in between the band of your underwear. “Should’ve done this awhile again, then.” 

You’re burning all over, the only thing you can manage is a quick, “Shut up.” It lacks any bite. 

He pulls at the band of our underwear, letting it snap back into place. If you didn’t know any better, you’d consider the flash of something softer across his face as amusement. “If you want me to stop, you’ve gotta tell me.” 

Your nod feels desperate. Your entire body feels desperate. For the way he kissed you, the way he touched you. “I-I’ll tell you.” He’s still not moving, not doing anything. It’s some sort of punishment. It has to be. “Joel...” 

“You going to say ‘please’?” 

You have half a mind to tell him to fuck off, but then his fingers hook around your underwear again. A promise. “Please, Joel.” This is all unfamiliar but you trust Joel to get what you want, what you need. “Need you.” 

With no warning, he yanks down your shorts and underwear. They fall down your legs and you blindly kick them to the side. “Need me?” He tilts his head down, pressing an open mouthed kiss against your cheek, then two to your jaw. “Need me where, sweetheart?” 

God. Anywhere. Everywhere. Your desperation reminds you of how incredibly unfair it is that you’re already down to just our t-shirt and Joel’s still fully dressed. You move your hand slowly, carefully tugging at whatever piece of clothing on him you can reach. 

He’s unimpressed. “C’mon, use your big girl words.” His hand is in between your thighs, his fingers teasing at your entrance in a way that makes it impossible to focus on anything else. “You were usin’ them just fine a second ago.” 

“Joel,” he kisses your jaw again, forcing away all train of thought. It has to be intentional. “Joel,” again, too soft. 

“I know,” he exhales the words against your neck, “I know, sweetheart. Need me to take care of you.” Joel doesn’t wait for a reaction, just pushes his fingers fully into you. You gasp too loudly, Joel moves his free hand over your mouth. “Be a good girl and be quiet. Can’t wake up Ellie.” 

Shit. How did you not think of that? “You’ll be good and quiet for me? Let me stretch you out a bit first?” There’s a knot in your stomach that’s slowly taking over all of your senses. As long as Joel keeps working at it, you could promise him anything. You nod against the palm of his hand. 

You bite your tongue to keep from whimpering too loudly. “Need you to relax,” he presses into you even more firmly, “Get you ready for me.” 

He slowly eases his hand off of your face. “Joel, please.” You’re not even sure what you’re asking for, you just know you need more. You want him to consume you entirely. Feel him until he’s all there is.

You hear the sound of a belt buckle and his jeans shifting. Instinctually, you move a hand towards him, wanting to help, wanting to feel him. “There’ll be time for that, right now it’s about you.” You’re about to argue when he skillfully adds another finger. Fuck. “You’re tight,” he breathes, “No one’s ever touched you here?” 

His fingers curl inside of you and you have to burry your face into the fabric of his shirt to keep from crying out. “Only you.” 

“Look who’s found her manners.” He’s picking up the pace and smoothing down your hair as you squirm against him. “Should’ve done this sooner.” Just as the coil in your lower stomach tightens, Joel takes his hand back. 

You push yourself off of him, staring at him with an expression you know he’ll consider pouting. “Why’d you--” 

“Because I want you to remember this.” He pushes you back to the wall, pressing his body against you. The head of his cock brushes against your entrance. With no warning, he pushes into you. Your sharp gasp overlaps with Joel’s low groan. “Y’need a man to fuck the attitude out of you.” He moves slowly, the friction unbelievably overwhelming and somehow not enough. “That boy wouldn’t know what to do with you.” 

Joel presses you further into the wall, sinking into you as deep as possible before pulling out just to sink back in. His pace is even until his breathing picks up. You’re a mess against him, hiding your face in his chest when he starts fucking you with full force.

“You’re squeezing me so good.” Joel practically pants the words into your skin. “Fuck, ‘m going to--you gonna finish with me, sweetheart?” 

Your mind is mush, you can barely nod against him as his thrusts start to lose their focus. You’re pushed over the edge as Joel’s teeth graze against your neck. He pulls at your orgasm, dragging it along until your legs are jelly and he’s pulling out in order to not finish inside you. 

The two of you stay holding onto each other for what feels like a long time and not enough. “You’re not goin’ anywhere, okay?”

You pull your head off of him enough to look him in the eye. “Not without you.” 

He smiles, lines that you can imagine kissing forever etching themselves into his skin. “That’s my girl.” Joel runs a hand up and down your back fondly. “Let’s go to bed,” he presses a kiss against your jaw, “Give me the space to properly appreciate you.”

The thought makes your body burn all over again. “You sure you aren’t tired out, old man?” 

Joel huffs out what’s almost a laugh, “We’ll see who’s tiring who out, sweetheart.” 

[buckets-and-trees]

Welcome Home, Pumpkin [spiced]

Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Hansen x curvy Female!Reader Word Count: 1.9k Summary: Bad ethics. Zero impulse control. This is what everyone says about him. What will it mean for you tonight?

Content/Warnings: dubious consent, soft!dark story, use of pet name "Pumpkin," explicit smut (fingering, unprotected vaginal intercourse), orgasm denial, groping, light choking, bondage

Notes: This is the second of three in a set of short stories with Lloyd served three ways - soft, soft!dark, and dark. The three feature the same setting, overlapping themes, shared thoughts, and bits of dialogue. Spiced is the soft!dark version.

sugar pumpkin | smashed pumpkin

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

You shut the door behind you and sigh, happy to be home after a long day - a long week, really. 

You slip your shoes off, hang your bag on the hook by the door, and turn on some music before making your way down the hall to your bedroom, ready to change from your professional clothes to something comfy to lounge in the rest of the evening. 

You jump when a deep, serious voice you aren’t expecting says, “Welcome home, Pumpkin.”

Your heart rockets into your throat, and you grip the doorframe. “Lloyd Hansen!”

He chuckles, rising from the spot he’d been perched on the edge of the bed. 

“You’re not supposed to be here.” 

He makes a show of bowing slightly, “And yet, here I am.”

You hesitate in the doorway, studying the face of the man you are now so familiar with. The steel blue eyes, the sharp jawline, the ridiculous mustache you hoped to avoid indefinitely. 

He looks you up and down slowly, then sits back on the bed. “Did you think I would really be stuck in a Lithuanian prison?”

You narrow your eyes slightly and chew the inside of your cheek. His eyes study you as much as you’re studying him, and you don’t want to give anything away. 

“Aw, you did. That’s cute,” he says, voice dripping in saccharine sweetness. “You should’ve known I’d be able to work myself out of there in two or three days, at most.”

You shrug. “A girl can hope.”

“Only one night, by the way, since I know you won’t ask,” he says, clearly wanting to boast. 

“And that was six months ago,” you counter. “I finished the job and got the paycheck.”

“The job might be done, but we have unfinished business, Pumpkin. And it’s more fun surprising you like this when you thought you’d never see me again, isn’t it?” he simpers. 

He might have been biding his time to drop in on your life again, and you can sense he’s eager, a bit impatient, but you also sense he will play this out the way he wants now that the two of you are in the same room together again.

And you hate the way you’ve been drawn to this man since the day you two first crossed paths. He is dangerous and untrustworthy. You operate in the daylight and occasionally step into the shadows, but he lives in the dark, revels in it. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re keeping from me? Why you took the contract in Kaunas in the first place?” he asks, lifting his chin just a fraction. 

And oh that look does something to you - the delicious swoop in your stomach that made you weak in Eastern Europe and traitorously eager for him now. 

“No,” you finally answer. Slowly, you take measured steps toward him. 

“Fair enough. But I might get under your skin enough to change your tune, wind you up, have you singing all sorts of secrets for me.”

“How much time did you spend thinking up that line? The imagery, the alliteration? Impressive.”

“Not the only thing that’s impressive about me,” he responds without a second thought.

You scoff, but there is an impertinent flutter in your chest you try to tamp down. He talks - a lot - but from the brief time you were in each others’ orbit in Lithuania, you learned he could back up his bluster with brains and brawn. A dangerous player on the board.

“How much time did spend you think about my fingers deep in your pussy like they were in the closet in that day in Kaunas?”

His words hang in the air, a bold challenge that sends a shiver down your spine. Your mind immediately flashes back to the last day in Lithuania, when you had been alone, hiding in a closet and his fingers had boldly started to explore your body. You can almost feel the heat of his touch, his breath on your neck, and his hard body pressed against your back like they were that day. The memory floods your senses, the smell of wood and dust, the creaking of the floorboards as the hired goons patrolled up and down the hallway just on the other side of the door. And now, here he is, asking how much time she had spent thinking about it.

You couldn't deny to yourself the way your body responds to his words, his presence, craving that same intense pleasure again, but you can deny it to him. You have to.

“I didn’t want you then, and I don’t want you now,” you reply simply and walk over to your dresser, bypassing him on the bed. Methodically, you begin to take off your necklace, and then your watch, as if he’s not there.

“Want, need, crave…”

“Lloyd!” You gasp because those words are murmured directly in your ear, as Lloyd has moved with silent precision right behind you. 

“…those are all different things,” he says. He presses his hard body up against your back, pressing his pelvis up against your ass, knocking you roughly into the drawers, pinning you. “You may not want this, but need it? Crave it?”

“No,” you whimper when he grinds against you again. 

“Mmm, you made some pretty, soft sounds when we were hidden in the dark before. Wonder what sounds I can get you to make now that we’re not trying to be discreet.”

“We’re not trying to be anything,” you argue, squirming against him. 

“Anything with labels, no, definitely not,” he agrees. “But you’re itching for it, aren’t you, Pumpkin?” 

One of his large hands gropes your breast, and the other moves to your throat. He squeezes in both places, and you groan, a shiver ripping through you. 

He chuckles, “I see we like that.”

“No,” you whimper. 

“Boring!” he barks. 

In one swift motion, Lloyd hefts you up, flips you around and has you on the bed pinned beneath him, body pressing into yours. He growls into your mouth as he claims you in a filthy kiss. He props himself up slightly on one arm, and his other hand reaches to tear the front of your shirt open, rending the fabric in two. 

You look up at him, chest heaving, waiting with bated breath. 

He unbuttons the top of your pants and drags down the zipper, all the while looking in your eyes. 

“I find you wet, and I’m not stopping,” he insists, tone low, calculated. 

You could press your thighs together, try to squirm away from him, but he’s too strong, and you know what he’s going to find. You could even turn your head and look away, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction. 

His fingers dip into your panties, and he goes straight for the cut of you, slick and wet for him, and slips a finger inside. 

“I knew it,” he whispers. His thumb presses against your clit, rubbing in slow circles.

You moan, arching into his touch, unable to resist the pleasure he’s giving you.

“Such a sensitive little thing,” he murmurs, adding another finger and thrusting them inside you.

You wriggle and writhe beneath him, unable to control your body’s response to his touch. He watches with dark satisfaction as you lose yourself in the moment.

“Lloyd,” you moan his name, and he chuckles softly.

“You sound so sweet when you say my name like that,” he coos, increasing the speed of his fingers inside you.

Your breath hitches as your orgasm approaches.

But then he pulls his thick fingers away, and a whine escapes your lips before you can stop it. Your body surges up, pelvis seeking his.

"You'll give me what I want," Lloyd purrs, his voice low and dangerous. He brings his slick fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean, maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. The sight makes you shiver involuntarily.

"Never," you breathe, but your voice lacks conviction.

Lloyd smirks, clearly not believing you. "We'll see about that."

He leans down, pressing his body against yours once more. His lips brush against your ear as he whispers, "I always get what I want. And right now, I want you."

Before you can respond, he captures your lips in another searing kiss. His hands roam your body, touching, teasing, igniting a fire within you that you've tried so hard to extinguish. You hate how easily he can affect you, how your body responds to his touch without your permission.

Lloyd's voice is a low rumble against your ear as he pins you to the bed. "You'll tell me everything I want to know."

You struggle to catch your breath, still reeling from the sudden loss of his touch. "I told you, I'm not giving you anything."

He smirks, trailing a finger down your cheek. "Oh, but you will. Your body's already betraying you. I think you’ll give me everything."

You think there’s a possibility he could end up being right, because while you didn’t think of him much after Lithuania, the truth is you did think of him. You thought of him on some of the nights alone in your bed when you had your best orgasms.

"What's the real reason you took that contract in Kaunas?" he demands.

You clench your jaw, refusing to answer. Lloyd's hand slides back to your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp.

"Come on, Pumpkin. Make this easy on yourself."

Your breath catches as his fingers tighten ever so slightly around your throat. The pressure sends a thrill through you, desire boiling in your belly despite your best efforts to resist.

"I won't tell you anything," you manage to choke out, your voice strained.

Lloyd's eyes darken with a mix of frustration and arousal. "So stubborn," he murmurs. "But I did hope you’d choose the hard way."

He takes off his belt and binds it around your forearms. He yanks the clothing completely down and off your bottom half, and then he’s between your legs, cock out, and pushing his thick, blunt head against your entrance. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear. "Last chance to tell me what I want to know."

You turn your head, refusing to meet his gaze. "Go to hell," you spit out.

He chuckles darkly. "Oh, we're already there, Pumpkin."

With one powerful thrust, he buries himself inside you. You cry out, overwhelmed by the sudden fullness. Lloyd groans, his fingers digging into your hips.

"Fuck, you feel even better than I thought you would.”

You moan and push your bound forearms at his chest.

Lloyd growls, grabs your wrists, and pins them above your head in one of his giant hands.

Then he proceeds to fuck you.

Slowly.

He gives you what you won’t admit you want.

Over and over again he gives it to you, until you’re boneless, voice hoarse, throat raw, limbs aching, babbling, but somehow still fighting against giving the one piece of information he’s seemingly desperate to have.

When dawn is about to break, dazed and delirious with pleasure, you wonder which of you will break first - or if neither of you will.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

all Welcome Home, Pumpkin stories

Aaaaah! So with the second one, what do you think? Was this anything like what you were expecting? Did you catch the repeated lines?

...and will you be ready for the third and darkest of the three?!

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Spotlight (lee know) ‗ ❍

Pairing : Lee Know x f reader

Summary : An upcoming work event stresses you out of your mind. But someone's there to help you relieve some of that stress, and who would've thought that it would be that one annoying co-worker?

Genre/ Warnings : it's a light co-workers enemies to lovers thing, talk about stage fright, mention of anxiety and bad breakup, talk of being chated on, some insecurity (brief and not specific mention), smut with plot (ONLY 18+), protected sex (UNBELIEVABLE?), soft dom minho of you squint, the whole this is a bit angsty, ending is open (is it tho?)

Word count : 10k (oh brother)

A/n : Has it ever happened to you to be SOO pent up and stressed that you could punch a wall and cry at the same time? Yeah, exactly. How about we fuck instead! Lmao, enjoy

ps: There could be grammar errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It all started with that damned research plan. 'Why the fuck did I even agree to that?', that's pretty much the same question that's been going through your mind for the past week.

Your boss held a meeting some time ago and asked your unit to bring up some ideas for an upcoming convention that will be held a few hours from your city. Several major companies in your field would be presenting their own projects to some big names in the industry plus some extremely wealthy people, that actually put their money into good causes.

So you did what you had to, took a couple of days to research and came up with an idea. You knew it was a good concept, and that you were good at your job. You were pretty confident. However, you were part of a team. A small one, but still, you were not in charge of anything in reality.

Which is why you nearly had a heart attack when during the meeting your boss actually decided on the spot to create a whole concept based on your idea. With you in charge.

Panic flooded your mind as you tried to reason with him, going from 'I can't do it' to 'We're a team', literally anything to try and make him change his mind. Even downplaying yourself, for how much it hurt your ego. Just because you have great ideas doesn't mean you want to have the literal spotlight in a livestreamed work convention!

"This unit has been doing a good job for the past months, while still being experimental. I think you deserve it. But I need you to prove yourselves this time, too. So what do you say, y/n?"

And with that, he got you. Why lie. Not only because you desperately wanted to get ahead in the company, but also because you knew for a fact that the rest of the team wanted it as bad as you did.

Were you really going to be the villain and turn down such an occasion for everyone, just because of your own overthinking? So, in the end, as unsure as you were, you still accepted.

And you couldn't lie, the prospect of getting recognition and a better working position fueled your motivation. You would've still been sick 10 minutes before the event, you were sure. 'But that will come later', you tried to convince yourself.

Fast forward to two weeks later, that's how you found yourself stuck to the office computer at 8 pm. On a Friday night. In your twenties. All the documents, research, presentation, audio, script…literally everything was ready and finalized.

You were pretty sure that if you asked your co-workers to check it one more time...you would've had the whole computer thrown at you. So you did it yourself, of course. Again and again.

You were the one who would have had to go up on a stage and explain it all, weren't you? You were so worried that your stage fright would make you somehow forget it all and even managed to fuck up reading from the script.

The fourth, or maybe fifth, coffee of the day being the only thing keeping you going. Aside, maybe, from the adrenaline. You were tired, yes. You should be going home, checking that your suitcase was properly packed and your tickets ready for your morning flight. Yet your anxious and perfectionist mind just wouldn't let you relax.

"Aren't you going home?" a voice interrupted your flow of thoughts, making you roll your eyes. You didn't even have to look to recognize that voice.

"No. But you should." you responded, with annoyance in your voice.

Lee Minho. Your 'second in command', as per your boss words. You have never quite spoken, before the past two weeks. Which sounds incredibly unrealistic, being in the same small work unit and all, but it was true.

Your team was an efficient one, but definitely not a tight one. All seven of you were literally picked out from different bigger divisions in the company, some even from other office buildings.

Straight away you were told that your team was going to be an experiment. This was roughly ten months ago, which wasn't much, but for a bunch of people who were essentially stuck in a limbo, uncertain of where they'll end up the followung year, was more than enough.

Being honest, you weren't particularly eager to get close to any of them. Whether it was an off-vibe or just you being kinda closed off and shy, you weren't sure. Regardless, you kept work life and personal life well separated.

Lee Minho, for example, was someone who you could never quite read. You may not have been very social, but you were observant. You knew that he was good at his job, often getting extra meetings and praise from higher ups. He was also quite standoffish, kinda like you. You did see him a few times talking with some other people at the company's cafe. But you didn't know them.

Then, suddenly this presentation thing happened, and just like a bunch of new class mates, the team was forced to collaborate. And boy, did you learn to know him quickly.

Your guess that he was good at his job was correct, but he was also extremely cocky while doing it. Your boss put you in charge, and yet it seemed that his life mission was to contradict and question you in almost everything. And the most infuriating thing was that he had a point, each time.

You lowkey hated him, because he would just add fuel to the fire. More details on a topic, some script corrections, visual corrections to pictures and illustrations. He seemed to be wanting to do stuff his way. But so were you, so it was kind of a silent war between you two. During one of the earlier briefs, you even mentioned it to your boss, and he just said to compromise. Easier said than done for two stubborn, competitive, people.

"The janitor will come soon to kick you out." he insisted, as he took his long suede coat from the hanger.

"Then I'll tell him to give me a few more minutes." you replied, squeezing your eyes for a moment, desperately trying to moisten them a little after spending so many hours in front of the computer screen.

"You said that forty minutes ago. Everyone else has already left like, two hours ago." his voice didn't have any particular feeling to it, but the fact that he was so insistent made you snap.

"Listen, Minho" you started, turning your head back towards him, "Whatever this is, quit it. I don't need an assistant, nor someone to remind me of the office's rules and I certainly don't need your concern."

This time it was his turn to roll his eyes, an annoyed smirk on his sharp features as he crossed his arms and leaned back on the wall.

"And I'm not claiming to be any of those. Are you forgetting that you're the head of the team and it's your job to make a decent presentation for all of us, right" he responded, the scolding tone suddenly making you feel uncomfortably small. He was right, of course you knew it.

You stood up, the desk chair rolling slightly behind you.

"Of course I fucking know-" your venomous response was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the big glass window of the office.

You and Minho both turned your heads and saw the two janitors staring at you. The older man who knocked looked quite annoyed and like he didn't give a single fuck about intruding, but the younger one behind him had his eyebrows raised and looked to be hiding an amused smile, clearly enjoying the show.

"I'm sorry miss y/l/n, we can't wait any longer to close up the floor. It's the company rules." he said, absolutely not meaning the 'sorry' in the slightest. And you couldn't blame him, really. You wouldn't either.

So you took a deep breath, faked a polite smile and nodded.

"Yes, I understand. I'll just pack my stuff and be out in a couple of minutes. Promise." he just grumbled a 'sure' while the younger one behind him gave you a tight lipped smile in embarrassment, then walked off.

You side eyed Minho as you turned back to your station to pack up your stuff and turn off the computer. Making sure to send yourself a copy of the slide presentation and the speech script. Well, another copy of the previous five files, anyway. Can never be sure enough!

'Don't you dare say anything.' you warn.

'Wasn't going to.' he replied, 'That was embarrassing enough already' you picked up on the humor in his voice, but it didn't make you smile in the slightest. You just wanted to get rid of him and go home to stress yourself until tomorrow, in peace. Maybe with a drink or two.

You noticed him waiting for you, for some reason, but you decided to ignore him and walk out of the office without sparing him a glance. He quietly followed ad you approached the elevator, and then pushed the button for the first floor before you could.

You stood there in silence, annoyingly aware of his presence not even a meter behind you.

"Why do you hate me?" Minho spoke with a curious, yet careful tone. His question took you by surprise, and also embarrassed you a bit. Did you actually even hate him? That seemed like a strong word for whatever you had going on.

"I don't 'hate' you." you answered, making the word, "You're just extremely annoying." he snorted a laugh.

"Well, at least you're honest." the irony in voice didn't escape you, and you instantly felt... quite bad? Qauite honestly you didn't know how to reply, so you shut up instead.

The elevator doors finally opened at the first floor, which was already eerily quiet and dark. Except for two security people that waved both of you off as you exited the building.

"Well, y/n, get home safely. I'll see-" he started to talk while taking a step back, but you stopped him, gesturing with your hand.

"Wait, Minho" he stopped in his tracks, clearly surprised. Your eyes wandered on the street, watching the cars pass by, as you rubbed your clothed shoulder, both from the cold and the nervousness.

"I'm sorry. I don't actually have a personal problem with you. And even if I did, my behaviour was unprofessional and rude. So I apologize." you created a small puff of hot air as you talked.

"Y/n-" you interrupted him yet again, not on purpose, but you kept going, in hopes of finishing off that awkward interaction.

"Also, I'm not your boss or anything, but I wanted to tell you that you did a good job. And, while it does cost a small piece of my ego to admit it, you gave some very good inputs. So, thank you." you cleared your throat a bit, still not looking back at him, even though you could feel his gaze on you.

Minho bit back a smile, and was about to answer, thinking you were finished, but suddenly the mood shifted and your voice started to tremble. His smile dropping fast and a confused expression taking place as he listened.

"I'm not usually like this, I-I...' you bit your lip, trying to regain composure, 'It's been a shitty period lately and this was kind of the last straw you know? I fucking hate speaking in public, goddamn it." a bitter and shaky laugh left your lips, your eyes becoming shiny.

You must've been out of your mind, you thought. How did you go from being a bitch then opening up and crying in the span of ten minutes? With Lee Minho of all people?

You were just about to wrap the conversation up and start trying to catch a taxi, but the cherry colored- hair man suddenly started to walk closer. You finally looked up, mainly in confusion, and saw just the shadow of a smile and kind eyes.

"'It's fine, y/n." he paused, "How are you getting home?'

You sniffled, blinking a few times, "I'm gonna catch the first cab that passes from here, I don't live that far but I can't be bothered to walk in the dark right now." he nodded in acknowledgement.

"My car is parked about two minutes from here" he pointed behind you, "If you allow me I'd like to offer you a ride." you stood there for a second, trying to rationalize the fact that your co-worker with whom you had beef until five minutes ago was offering you a ride. So you relied on humor, to lighten up the situations.

"I don't know, are you going to kill me?" he widened his eyes for a second, genuinely looking panicked for a second. He started to wave his hands around awkwardly.

"No, woah-" he spoke, "If you don't feel safe-" your small laugh instantly relaxed him, as he lowered his arms back down and giving you a side eye in the process.

"I'm sorry. But you can't honestly blame me, with everything going on in the world." you justified yourself, starting to walk to the spot he pointed out, "Just so you know, my mom and best friend have my location. Just in case."

"Ah, ah, ah." he faked a laugh as he followed behind you. The light of a grey, seemingly spotless and quite expensive looking, car blinked a couple of times.

Minho opened the passenger seat for you, then circled the car back to the driver's side.

--

The car ride was pretty much silent, and a light but definitely present layer of awkwardness filled the air. He asked for your address, put it on the navigator, then didn't speak again.

You joked about his car looking expensive and he snorted a laugh, nodding. "It did take a couple of years and a promotion to pay off, yes."

Then silence..again.

Thankfully the car ride was quite short, as you anticipated. Only made a couple of minutes longer by the traffic of the people getting off work. Late, like you two, you imagined.

He pulled up in front of your building, parking the car to let you get off.

You truly had no idea what came over you, but nonetheless you blurted out "Do you wanna come up for a drink?"

Minho's mouth went slighly agape, as he was so obviously trying to suppress a smile. His cocky aura making it actually hard to understand if he was about to mock you or seemed pleased.

"Oh?" and that made it so much worse, making you scramble for a response.

"I mean- it's not even nine pm, and tomorrow it's gonna be the end of a jurney of hard work." you justified, "I'm still gonna celebrate by myself, by the way. I was just offering." the last sentence being almost muffled, which actually made it funnier for him. You looked kinda cute.

"You know what, boss number two," your head snapped at those words, along with him turning off the car engine, "I think I may use a drink. I wouldn't have any at my place, anyway." he smirked.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back a smile as well. You both got out of the car, and walked to the building's entrance as he locked it witht he distance key.

"And what do you have waiting at home, if not a glass of wine at the end of the day?" you joked as you entered the building. You started to walk up a set of stairs, so he just followed, a few steps behind.

"Three cats?" the humor in his voice actually made you turn your head to read his expression.

"Really?" you smiled. He nodded prudly, still following behind you.

"Oh yes. My pride and joy, if you will." you laughed, finally stopping on the second floor, in front of a white door.

"Wouldn't have made you out to be a cat's man" You unlocked it, turning on the light as you invited the redhead inside. He politely took off his shoes by the entrance, following your example, and bowed his head.

"Well, you don't really know me, if we're being honest."

"True." you nodded, a bit embarassed, "Please, give me your coat. It's warm here, I promise." you smiled. He thanked you, handing you the item.

He looked around while you went in another room. The apartment was definitely a nice one, even if not the largest. It looked cozy and quite artsy, but tastefully so. Lots of CDs, a couple of paintings, a nice tv, a leather couch. The living room had a balcony with a city view, and was connected to an open space kitchen.

"Please, make yourself comfortable. On the couch, at the table. Wherever you want." you came back with a pair of black light tracksuit pants, a nice loose shirt with some graphic design on it, and your hair down.

Minho couldn't help but, casually, notice how good those pants made your ass look. But he cleared his throath and opted for a seat at the table, before his gaze lingered too long.

"Thanks", he sat down comfortably, curiously looking at the kitchen furniture, "You have a really nice place"

You smiled politely, giving him a nod.

"Thank you, Minho. I actually didn't move here too long ago. About five months-ish?", you explained, "Alright, let's get back to business. I have a few things." he tilted his head to listen.

"I have two types of my personal favorite, red wine. Then some whiskey that wasn't even gifted to me to begin with," your tone was slightly off as you said it, but he didn't ask.

"Then I have some tequila, gin and... champagne. Yeah, that's it." he chuckled.

"Well, comparing to mine's, that's a small but respectable collection." he joked, "I'll just have some of that italian wine, thanks" he smiled, amused. You laughed a bit.

"It's all small bottles. I only really drink wine. I also use it for cooking. The rest is for nights with girlfriends. Don't picture me as an alcholic, please" you both laughed at you scrambling to justify yourself.

"If you say so, yn" he teased.

"Oh, c'mon!"

--

You didn't really remeber exactly how you ended up from sharing a glass of wine and cheering to your incoming job presentation, to eating leftovers, then moving to the couch. But you got there.

The difference is that after getting a bit too giggly and a little lightheaded, you both agreed to switch to water. Yeah, that's probably when you also decided to put something in your stomachs.

After all, he would've had to drive back home. And both of you couldn't afford a hangover when you had such an important day ahead and a flight at eight am.

It was now around eleven pm as you sobered up, just hanging out on your cream colored couch.

"So that's how my friend from sixth floor found out boss is cheating. Big time." he concluded, making you rolle your eyes dramatically as you took a sip of water.

"Of course he's fucking cheating on his wife. Of course" he raised a finger, leaning a bit forward.

"It's not only that he's cheating. He's cheating with the chief editor and a bunch of other emplyees too. Lost fucking cause" your mouth opened in shock, gasping.

"Nasty man! I just hope it's a bunch of immoral people and nothing more serious it's going on, at this point." you shook your head as he nodded in agreement.

"I know right? Of course it's mainly hushed office rumors, but at least a couple of those have to be true. My friend's girlfriends says there's eye witnesses." you smirked slightly, humored.

"Scandal" he snorted a laugh at your comment as he ate a piece of cake. A strawberry and whippe cream cake your best friends got you when you got the job.

"What about you," his eyes moved back to you, "Do you have anyone? Aside from your three fur babies, of course." he smirked a bit as he chewed on his bite, taking a couple of seconds to try and read your expression.

"No, no one." he answered, "I was actually married for about a year. Then the stupidity wore off." your eyes actually widened in surprise at his words.

"You were married? For a year? What happened?" your questions were quick and probably quite nosy, so you backtracked, "I'm sorry. If- I mean, if you feel like sharing. Of course."

"It's fine", he shook his head lightly, he moved a bit on the couch to get comfortable, "It sounds crazy but it was years ago. We were eighteen, and stupid. We were together for like, six months, and since she was having trouble with her parents and needed a place to live, I guess that my stupid-in-love mind decided that getting married and renting an apartment was the right call." he explained, not with any particular intonation. Maybe some humor, actually.

"It was an extremely quick decision too. Proposed, one day later we were legally married. But then we quickly understood that marriage wouldn't solve her problems, so while I just questioned myself over and over and scrambled to find work, she went out and cheated."

"Oh my gosh!" you exclaimed, covering your mouth with your hand. He nodded, with an ironic expression.

"Yeah. I actually never found out how long that went on. Hopefully less than our marriage. That'd be embarassing." you instinctively reached out, placing your hand on his knee. You regretted it immediately as soon as your eyes met though, so you retracted it, brushing it off.

"I'm really sorry. That's shitty. I know how it feels." the bitterness in your voice finally made Minho place the small pieces you had intentionally scattered in the conversation that eventing, making him put it together.

"You got cheated on too?" you cleared your throat, sighing slightly.

"Not that I would've imagined the conversation going there tonight but, yes. That's- well that's why I'm living by myself now. You know how it is, messy breakup, lots of tears, and then you move on."

"I'm sorry.", his voice was soft and sincere, "How have you been holding up? You're certainly killing it on the job, though." he smiled at you.

"Even if it makes you nervous." he added. You gave him a small grateful smile, but couldn't help to get a bit sad.

"Thanks. You know, I do love being by myself. The relationship had become stale for a while. I kind of saw it coming. But of course, after two years, it stung." you admitted, "Wasn't particularly kind to my self esteem. Leaving him with my half of rent to pay while being jobless was kind of paybay, not gonna lie." you raised an eyebrow, making him laugh.

"Deserved, honestly." you laughed instinctively a bit too, but your mood was definitevely affected a t least a little now. Minho wanted to comfort you, telling you that he didn't see anything that you should be insecure about. But he stopped himself, feeling like he would've overstepped some boundaries.

"I'm sure you're doing great. Parties with girlfriends, a whole place by yourself, killing it at work. It's gonna be okay." that was the most he allowed himself to say, but judging from the grateful look in your eyes, that was probably enough.

You blinked a couple of times, awkwardly catching yourself getting voulnerable for the second time that evening with a man that until a few hours prior was just a bit less than a stranger.

As you thought that, you actually remembered to take a look at the clock on your wall and saw that it was half past midnight. You got up instantly, slightly startling Minho.

"Shit, look at the hour. I will probably not sleep for a good while, but it may be late for you. With the drive and all. I'm sorry I kept you blabbering for hours." you released a small, nervous laugh as you picked up both of your leftover cake plates.

He nodded slightly, mostly at himself, getting up.

"I don't have very regular sleeping schedules. My cats tell me when it's bed time." he joked, making you smile. "But I think you're right. I definitely sobered up now, don't worry."

You nodded, eyes struggling to stray from his brown, shiny ones. You cleared your throat, catching yourself before you could make things more awkward.

"I'll get your coat, wait a sec" he silently followed your figure as you disappeared again, then, just as you did, he tried to get a grip and walked towards the entrance where he had left his shoes.

He slipped them on, slapping himself slightly on the cheek to get some composure back. Just after that you came back, smoothing out his coat.

"Let me help you" you spoke softly, without really asking. He turned his back to you without speaking, offering you one arm, then the other. He then shrugged his shoulders a bit to fit the coat properly on.

"Thanks" you nodded, acknowledging him silently. You proceeded to open the door, and turn on the stairs light on for him. He turned back to look at you, now just a few steps outside of the apartment.

"Your cheeks turned red.", he teased, "Did you warm up well?"

"Yes" your tone was a bit more serious than his, wondering if his question hid a deeper meaning behind it. Maybe what he was really asking was if you warmed up to him, after all.

He looked down, nodding. He then smiled warmly, looking up back at you.

"Good. Thanks for the drink, it was fun", he stated sincerely, "Make sure to rest well, goodnight yn"

But, as he was about to leave, he felt your hand reaching for his sleeve. He stopped, turning back to look at your hand, then fixing his gaze on you. Your eyes were looking at him so intensely, almost burning into his. He didn't speak. He waited.

"Would it be extremely unprofessional if I asked my co-worker to stay over?" your words were teasing, but your tone as well as your gaze didn't match them. That's what made him hesitate at first.

"Are you sure?"

You retracted your hand, letting go of his sleeve. A hint of insecurity hitting you. But not towards your desire, more towards yourself. Imagine if he said no and rejcted you.

"You can say no" he fully turned to face you, walking closer.

"I didn't say 'no'. I asked if you are sure. Are you?" his tone wasn't harsh at all, but it was serious. It's true, he didn't say no. And you also weren't really sure why, but you were sure you wanted him. So, just in case...

"Yes, I am. We're both free, consenting adults. Doesn't have to mean anything. Letting go some stress, you know." you shrugged, leaning against the doorframe, crossing your arms. Acting way more cocky than you were actually feeling. Truth be told, you were so horny you would've probably crawled if he asked you to.

Minho squinted his eyes a bit, studying your expression. But he saw right though you. He didn't know the extent of your confidence at that moment, but he could see that you wanted him like he wanted you.

"Right" he finally spoke, slowly walking closer and closer, instinctively making you backtrack inside, your eyes fixiated in his as if you were hypnotised.

"Just de-stressing a bit, I guess" he pushed the door shut lightly with his foot before reaching for your cheek with one hand and your waist with the other. Taking the hint, you crashed your lips with his.

The kiss didn't start slow, it was right away a messy, passionate one. Minho shrugged out of his coat, never leaving your lips for as much as he could.

"Wait- the coat-" you panted softly, but he shut you up quickly, pulling your even closer by grabbing at your lower back.

"Fuck the coat" he managed to answer, making you laugh faintly. Your lips separated as you stepped back enough to lead him to the bedroom. During the small walk, there was a pause, and neither of you talked.

You reached the bedroom, and slowly as you stood at the edge of the king size bed, you started to undress each other.

Starting from his tie, which was alrady loosened, then his shirt buttons coming undone one by one, then his belt. Minho didn't really move, nor rush you. He just held you by the waist, following closely your hands.

Being so lost in admiring his perfectly soft but muscular body, you kind of forgot that you were still completely covered. Not that you were exactly looking forward to getting naked and vulnerable at that moment in your life, but it was kind of require, as they say.

You stopped just before getting to the zipper of his elegant pants, his boner already forming a tent. You looked up at him, kind of questioning his stillness. But he was already looking at you, eyes lusty but comforting at the same time.

"Do whatever you want." he stated, taking one of your hands and encouraging it towards his pants, "Consider it a personal congratulations gift. Guide me." he continued, then squinted his eyes a bit, getting closer with his face to yours with a small smile.

"Unless you'd like me to?" that one sentence did so much damage to the least bit of self respect you were clinging to...so might as well.

You nodded slowly, you chest going up and down heavily, trembling a bit from the mix of excitement and, well, a bit of shame. The kind that will bring you pleasure though.

And he saw it. Again he saw right through you. Not that in the horny state you were at that moment you would've had much to hide anyway.

Minho chuckled, leaning in right next to your ear, whispering "Good girl", his lips starting to kiss your neck seductively, "Take my pants off for me, mmh?"

A moan escaped your mouth as your hands worked shakily with his zipper, then pushing the fabric down, revealing the expensive brand boxers he was wearing. And the hard on. Couldn't forget about that.

"So good for me. I'm going to undress you too, now. That's okay, right, honey?" his hands toyed with the hem of your t-shirt, waiting for consent, which arrived very quickly after.

"Yes, please" he cooed at that, proceeding to lift up your shirt and get it off you, leaving you in your simple, cotton bra. You didn't exactly dress up expecting this, but well.

"'Please'? You're so cute" he praised, continuing his works by pushing down your tracksuit pants. At that point, as drunk on lust and praise as you were, your insecurity couldn't help but hit as you were becoming aware of Minho's gaze.

That's why when he felt your hands squeeze his sidez a bit and get tense, he stopped, leaning back to check on you.

"What's wrong?" you gulped, throat suddenly feeling a bit dry.

"Nothing, it's- ...Don't stare too much. I don't know if I can handle it." your words were just above a whisper, but it made him a bit sad. He wasn't pitying you, he just felt sorry that your head wasn't allowing you to be as free as you wanted.

He understood. Of course he did. Everyone at least once, at some point, felt insecure about themselves. And while he truly think you shouldn't be, he wouldn't push it. He'd just make sure to make you feel good in the moment, like you deserved.

He brushed it off, shifting the mood to a lighter one. He nodded as he went back to touch your body up and down, his lips back to your neck.

"Alright, but- " he paused, his hands coming up to cup your breasts, squeezing them, eliciting a sigh from you. "On the condition that you'll let me suck on these later" he smirked, winking at you. You blushed even more, huffing out a laugh. Your head was clear again, so you decided to have fun with it.

"But now-" you gave him a little push, making him land on the bed, then straddling him. "There are a few things I want." he smirked, amused.

"Seems like it's gonna be a little of a game after all." he teased making you smile seductively.

"We'll see. Now stay still like a good boy." Minho's hand on got even harder, if possible. at your words. He wasn't used to be a sub at all, but that 'good boy' kinda...intrigued him.

At that point you got off of him, kneeling down beside him. You pinched the hems of his tight boxers and pulled them down, letting his cock sprung free, standing up mid-air from his abs. You pushed the fabric down enough for Minho to discard it, which he did.

He was half up, standing on his elbows, to not miss the view. And what a view.

You had started to stroke his cock slowly, with both hands, doing a sort of up and down gesture mixed with some twisting, that was sending him directly to heaven. But he was way too turned on already, he was afraid that at the minimum touch he would cum, so he regrettably stopped you, and instead switched positions, dragging you under him as he hovered above you.

"I'm sorry, princess, I'm not gonna last if I let you play too much" he explained with a sigh.

"You though...let's see if my sweet girl is ready for me" he continued, with mischief in his voice. His hands invited you gently to part your legs, and you complied easily. Your need to be touched almost unbearable now.

Minho shimmied down on his stomach, directly face level with your, still clothed, pussy. He raised his index, teasing your mound then your slit, which was clearly indicated by the wet patch on the grey cotton panties. You hissed and squirmed, desperate for him to touch you properly.

"Oh wow, look at my sweet girl, looking so wet already." he cooed as he started to kiss the inner of your thigh. "Should we check properly, mh?" all he needed was a desperate yes from you, to quickly act and slip down your legs the panties, discarding them somewhere.

"Oh my godness...look at this sweet, shiny, pussy. So cute. Is it all for me?" he asked cutely. You moaned instinctively and nodded quickly.

"Yes, all for you. Please Minho, I need it" you whined, trying to rub your thighs together for some relief, but his hands promptly kept them open.

"Tsk, tsk, kitten. Now be good for me. I promise I'll give you what you want." and with that he started out giving a fat, tongue flat, lick from your ass, then your pussy, and reaching the clit. The deep moan that exited from you would've almost been embarassing, if only Minho's actions with his tongue didn't distract you again right away.

He had started to kiss right where your whole was messily, occasionally trying to poke in the tip of tongue to try and gather as much of your arousal as possible. You were a whining, moaning mess, but you knew exactly that as soon as he'd actually start giving attention to your clit, you were done for.

Which is exactly what happened a few minutes later. When he was satisfied enough that you were absolutely drenched all over, his mouth and chin included, he moved a bit north, starting right away to skillfully suck and toy with your clit.

The sensation was so intense and you were already so sensitive that the contact made you prop yourself up a bit, but Minho promptly placed one of his strong, veiny hands on your stomach and pushed you back down, which you allowed yourself to go right away. But his hand was still there, so you took the opportunity to intertwine your fingers with his.

"Fuck, oh my God- Minho, please...please" you were incoherent, but he knew very well what you wanted and he was determined to give it to you good. That's when you felt first his index, then index and pointer fingers enter you swiftly. No resistance at all. You were so wet that you barely felt them, until he started to move them just right, stimulating your walls.

The gradually added movements and speed of both his fingers in your cunt and his mouth on your clit had your stomach tightening so quickly, and then you came. You came for like a whole minute, and then some. It was actually crazy how intense and how prolonged minho had managed to make your orgasm. No doubt the best head you've ever recieved.

He gradually slowed down, until only his fingers remained to play with your slick as you came down from your crazy high. Minho had leaned his cheek against your warm, kids shaky, thigh while he watched you with a satisfied smirk.

"Are you okay, kitten? You have no idea how cute you sounded as you came on my mouth and fingers, purring and whining like a sweet kitten." you looked back at him with hazy eyes, as you made grabby hands. He chuckled and removed his fingers from your pussy, placing them immediately on his own cock, starting to stroke himself up and down.

You pulled him close, over you, pushing down on his shoulders with your arms. Your legs closing around his hips, immediately trying to grind on something.

He moaned in the kiss, "Such a horny baby that doesn't even need a minute after she just came" he teased you but you didn't cared, you whined and pulled him closer to keep the sloppy kiss going.

"Need you, mh- please, get- get 'nside 'o me" your words slurred but he understood you anyway. He parted from your lips, panting.

"Baby girl, w-", he swallowed trying to speak coherently, "You have protection?"

You nodded, pointing to the drawer of the nightstand. He moved a bit to reach into the drawer, fishing out a condom. But not before taking a peek at your cute, little, clit sucker toy.

He bit back a smile as he sat back on the heels of his feet to unwrap the condom and slide it carefully on his painfully hard dick.

"Usually it's rabbit toys" he teased, making you laugh faintly.

"I can't come with penetration only" you shrugged, which made your tits jiggle in your bra. Suddenly hypnotizing Minho, which had a promise to respect, he remebered.

He smirked, then properly got back between your legs, and just as you were about to pull him in for a kiss, he retracted with an eyebrow raised.

"First, this is gonna come off" his hands slid down the strips of the bra down your shoulders, then he reached behind your back to untie it completely. He sighed when finally he could throw the piece of fabric away, and enjoy the heavenly sight of your tits. Which, with his outmost disappointment, you rushed to cover with your hands.

"Hey, you promised!" he scolded you, "Plus, I already ate you out, what damage are a pair of tits gonna do now? None." he answered his own question, at which point you gave up and moved your hands back on his strong shoulders. He gasped, in awe.

"Ah, here they are..." he bent down, immediately attaching his mouth to one of the nipples, making you moan.

"So soft, round, so sweet..." he cooed as he grabbed them, squeezed them, kissed, licked and soft-bit them. Your hands were now intertwined in his cherry red hair.

"Minho, baby-" you both noticed how you slipped with the petname, but you brushed it off "Please, I need you. Need you inside me so bad, please.." he heard your plea and nodded, giving a break to your breasts just enough to position himself with your entrance, and then slowly but steadily he entered you.

It felt like one long stroke, until he filled you to the brim, his tip hitting the back of your walls, making you both moan. He stayed still for a couple of seconds, propping himself up with his forearms by the side of your head.

"Oh- hng, fuck. You feel s-so good. C-can I-?" you nodded frantically, moving your hips to meet his, making him hiss.

With that, he started moving, back and forth, at a normal speed, without ever exiting completely, instead focusing on stroking your g spot each and every time, driving you absolutely insane.

"Ah, fuck M-min...please go faster, please, please" he whispered praises and reassurance in your ear as he complied, his hips starting to go faster and faster. He kept going until he started to feel you tense up, and you croaked out "M close..s-so close, please"

At that point he moved his dominant hand from your side and slipped it between your bodies, circling your clit with two fingers to help you get there.

You gasped at his action, tightening the grip your thighs had on his hips a bit and arching your back, feeling your orgasm so, so close.

And it only took a couple more strokes for you to cum.

"Ah! Fuck, I'm- I'm coming, Minho", while your orgasm was happening, he felt your walls tighten around him, which made him frown in fatigue. "I- I know, sweet, come for me" he managed to say as he was still punding into you, but his pace was faltering.

This time it was your turn to help him get there, so you grinded on him, helping movement and friction, while also tugging a bit at his hair, which you noticed he seemed to like. And as expected, he groaned, then moaned, finally stilling as he came inside the condom.

His arms were trembling a bit, and he looked absolutely fucked, so you just pulled him to lay on your chest and rest. His head on your breasts. Both trying to calm down your breaths.

You were in silence for a little while, but then Minho pulled himself up and carefully got up from the bed, going straight to the private bathroom in the bedroom.

It kind of hit you at that moment, that this was not normality. This was a one night stand with a co-worker. So you also got up, quickly picking up your discarded clothes. Putting Minho's on the edge of the bed, while you exited the bedroom to go wash up in the other bathroom.

It didn't take long, as you decided that you would've taken a full proper shower tomorrow before leaving. Right. The flight. The speech. It all came back hitting you with a force, hitting you back with reality.

But reality was still in your bedroom, too. So you dressed back up, freshened up and quickly went back.

Minho was in his boxers, busy buttoning up his work shirt. His gaze landed on you as you appread on the doorstep. He gave a quick smile, then looked back down. And your heart kind of broke at that.

Was he also embarassed, or did he regret it already? And what were you feeling?

Everything was contradicting in your head right now, so you recomposed yourself enough to think clearly. It was now two am in the morning.

"Please, spend the night here. Then you can drive home tomorrow morning. It's so late now, I'm sure you're tired." it sounded so fake, so foreign to go back to being polite while just ten minutes prior you were tangled up in bed horny like animals.

"Yeah, okay. I'll be on the couch." he said as he also slipped his pants back on. You looked at him confused.

"The couch? But, the bed is big enough-" he interrupted you, picking up his tie.

"The couch will be fine. I just-", he sighed, "I need this, okay?" he pleaded silently. So you just nodded, keeping your head down.

"Please take anything you need. Good night, Minho" you spoke softly. He just breathed a "yeah" then closed behind him the door to your bedroom.

--

That night you didn't hear a single sound coming from the living room. It was just you, your overthinking, and the uncomfortable knowledge that a person that you have very quickly come to care about is sleeping seprately from you. On the couch.

You got him. You were confused too. But it still heavied on your heart. Until finally, you fell asleep from exhaustion without realizing it.

--

The morning after you woke up startled by your alarm. You checked the hour: six thirty am. Yeah, you definitely needed to get up. Those five more minutes will have to wait another time.

Then it hit you. You remebered what happened the night before. You remebered it all, perfectly.

The way you asked Minho not to go. The way he made you feel so good, both physically and mentally, for the first time in a while. Then you remembered how cold things ended up, too.

You got out of bed quickly, praying that he was still here, to at least make sure that everything was okay with you two.

But as you opened your bedroom door and walked out of the corridor, into the open space living room, no one was there.

The only thing out of place was the, usually discarded carelessly, now neatly folded blanket on the couch.

For some reason you felt like crying. What was wrong with you!

It was you, after all, that asked him to have sex and reassured that it wouldn't have meant anything. "Just stress relief", you said. He agreed. You both consented. You didn't regret it. So why did your stomach hurt?

--

At seven thirty pm sharp you were already on a taxi on your way to the airport.

You showered, got presentable enough, checked to have all your files, then picked up your small suitcase and you were ready to go. You would've had all the time to get 'professionally' ready when you got to the hotel. Which was also the place where the convention was gonna be held at, so even less stress.

When you arrived at the pre-established entrance number of the airport, you saw the team standing outside, chatting and some smoking.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to act like everything was normal. But nothing was normal about you getting on a stage to talk live in front of million dollar companies. And nothing has been normal for you after the night before.

As soon as the team saw you walking over, they started to cheer and shout out embarassing stuff to tease you. You laughed, but gestured for them to shut up.

Everyone picked up their cases to fo inside, and that's when you noticed Minho. Of course he was there. It was his job, too. But while you were instantly named 'leader', mainly because of a joke and the other's laziness, he remained at the back, minding his business. So you did the same, for now.

Once you got through all documents, tickets and baggage checks, you entered the waiting area at your assigned gate and could relax for a while before they started calling in passengers. You and the team did not go first, but almost.

Your boss had been gracious enough to put you seven in business class, so you would be the second type of passengers to board the plane.

And with a rather quickly queue, that's exactly what you did. In less than an hour you were ready to take off. You had almost secretly hoped that your seatmate would be Minho, but of course it wasn't. It was an older co-worker, around his fifties. You made some small talk at first, but then you put on your headphones and focused on reharsing your speech and the slides.

--

The flight was on time, two hours later, you were back on land. You were kind of disappointed with youself, because at some point, Henry saying it was about half an hour in, you fell asleep.

But at the same time, you did have a very short and shit sleep last night so, better rest now than be sleepy later.

When you walked out at arrivals you saw a man in suit and tie holding up a sign with your company's name of it, so you approached him.

"Good morning, miss. Are you the seven people I have to take to this address?" he asked, showing you the paper. You nodded.

"Yep, it's us." you turned and gestured with your hand to follow you.

With some surprise, you found a mini van waiting outside, with nine seats including the driver's. Minho went on first, as far back as possible, and you went on last, next to the driver's seat.

The hotel wasn't that far, only fifteen minutes, so you got there pretty quickly. When you entered the reception, it was a bit crowded, of course with the amount of hosts that were there for the convention.

Yet again, you waited in line, then provided documents and the staff gave each of you a card key to your rooms. For organization purposes you were put all on the same floor, with rooms near to each other.

You just nodded in understanding and politely declined the invitation to have lunch out that some co-workers offere, opting to remain in your room, practice and maybe rest some more.

You didn't need distractions in that moment. But not everyone was on board with the plan, so you and another two people, oneof which was Lee Minho, went straight to the elevators.

You were grateful for Amanda, the senior of the team, that made small talk abou the appearence of the hotel. She was talking mostly to herself, even though she thought she was talking to you and Minho.

Thankfully in a couple of minutes, everyone went their separate ways and rooms. You sighed, relieved when you were finally alone again. This 'ignoring' situation was ridiculus, you were adults for fuck's sake. And yet neither of you approached the one for now, so you were both fools.

'This is getting fixed, tonight', you thought. The gala would've started at about seven pm, so hopefully by ten pm you were gonna be done. No matter what, you promised to yourself that you would've had a grown, mature conversation. But later.

Now you just preoccupied yourself with ordering lunch and, once again, going over your files. For the last time, thank god.

--

Five fifty pm. You were ready. Kind of.

Make up, done. Hair, done. Clothes, done. Papers, done. Purse? Ready. Your brain? Not ready.

You were honestly just trying not to sweat literal cold now and not cause yourself a stomach ache. Your only salvation at that point would've been distraction.

You remembered how fucking nervous you were at every single graduation in your life. High school, degree. Hell, even middle school. Being on the spotlight for anything always made you so extremely uncomfortable and sick.

It was only as you grew older that you understood that really, the only secret to get through this type of stuff is just fakin' it til you make it. No other way around it. If you deluded yourself into thinking that you had your shit together, so would others.

So that's when you decided to just go downstairs, a bit early just to hang out. Maybe have a drink or two. You weren't the only one who would've had to speak publicly that evening, so who knows, maybe you'd find your trauma twin.

You picked up your phone, purse, papers, then you were out of the door. Just as you almost made your way down the corridor, nearing the elevators, one of your heels got stuck on a bump in the moquette.

You gasped, saving yourself by planting your hands on the wall at your left for support. But that meant that now your papers and purse were on the ground. Messy. Great. Always better than a twisted ankle, you thought.

You bent down, trying to pick up the scattered papers in order, when you suddenly heard a voice.

"Everything okay?"

"Shit!", you clutched the paper to the chest, scared. You looked behind you, but aside from the scare, you recognized the voice immediately. Of course you did.

"Yes, just tripped. Thank you." Your tone was cool as you addressed Minho, going right back to stacking your stuff in your hands.

"Wait, let me help" without thinking, he joined you, starting to pick up the files as well. In perfect order, too. Of course your second in command would know the presentation by memory as well.

"I got it." You so much spared him a glance as you got back on your feet, snatching back the paper. He stood back up, too. Hands in his elegant pants pockets. Awkward.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice so casual and polite it actually made you mad. You crossed your arms, a little awkwardly as your hands were busy.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me?" Minho frowned. Mirroring your pose, closing off.

"What? You think it would've been appropriate to air out personal business while sitting in a car with five other people? Co-workers?" he snapped back.

"No one said anything about drinking and hooking up, a normal "good morning" would've been enough" you rolled your eyes.

"Well it's not like you attempted it either, yn"

"Ah, yes because I surely felt welcomed with open arms after you-"

"Hey guys! Wait for me!" You and Minho both turned your heads toward the young woman speeding up her walk. She was the youngest in the team. Niece of the boss, nonetheless.

You both took a step back from each other instinctively. You offered a fake smile and wave as the red haired man pushed the button for the elevators.

"Ah, thank you! It's a bit late, but at least I won't be showing up alone" she laughed. You widened your eyes, scrambling to fish the phone out of your purse.

"What do you mean 'it's late' !?" The clock showed six pm and five minutes. You frowned, but before you could speak, Minho did it for you.

"It's not late, stop panicking her. They opened the conference room at six. They're gonna start at six thirty. It's fine." the young girl seemed a bit intimidated by the stern tone used by the man, but the just shrugged.

"Oh well, I may have read the invitation wrong. Same thing." you took a deep sigh, taking a moment to calm not and not choke her on the spot.

"Better this way." you offered the same brief fake smile.

Finally the damn elevator doors opened, so you stepped inside and once again Minho pushed the first floor button. It could've been a silent couple of minutes, but of course they younger girl just could not resist.

"Did you learn everything well?" Oh wow.

"I have spent weeks researching and editing this stuff, I didn't only 'learn' it like a school poem." the annoyance in your voice really couldn't be hidden anymore, so good thing the elevator doors opened back up.

This time Minho took it upon himself to lighting place his hand on your back to lead you outside.

"Everything is ready, see you inside" he exclaimed back. So much for not acting suspicious, you thought.

You stopped a few meters away, stepping to the side away from his hand.

"Is everyone trying to get on my nerves specifically tonight, or" your voice dripped sarcasm, making the man roll his eyes.

"Yeah, right. You got enough on your plate right now, I know. That's why I tried to be civil" he didn't let you have the chance to bite back, as he kept going " In any case, I'm gonna leave you alone now. Go get a drink. A light one. Relax, you'll do great. Later, we can talk. In private."

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Let me actually distract myself now, or I'll end up starting to argue at the stand instead of explaining my speech." with that, you forced yourself to walk away.

--

At exactly six thirty the conference started. You were seated with your team, of course. Everyone around this large, round table.

So cute, like king Arthur and his knights. And you were king Arthur in that moment. And hell, you would've better extracted that sword perfectly at first try.

Your turn didn't came until about an hour and a half later, after the welcoming speech, a couple of virtual messages from rich people who were too busy to be there in person, and a bunch of other companies' expositors.

"Please, give a round of applause for the next representative." the announcer spoke into the mic as he read from a folder, listing your company's name, the CEO, a few words of introduction, then finally your name.

The public applauded politely as you walked on stage with a smile, as carefully as you could. Couldn't have attempted twisted ankle number two at that moment.

"Thank you. Good evening. Tonight I am here to represent our," you extended your arms toward your team's table, " - company's project. I was honored with the duty of exposing the project to you. Hopefully it was the right call!" the crowd laughed and smiled.

You focused on explaining the idea, from the first draft, to research, then one by one describing and arguing the slides. Finally citing sources and closing your speech with some polite greetings.

The crowd once again clapped as you gracefully made your way down the stage. The presenter moved on, and a big sigh of relief left your mouth.

Your team looked at you with smiles, congratulating you as you went back to the table.

--

The whole official thing actually wrapped up around eight, not nine pm as you expected. Dinner was served and then a more casual after party was held. Not an actual party, more like a jazz music ambience with drinks, made for conversation.

And you did engage in some conversation, mainly with strangers and people from other companies. Some more job related topics, some about the event itself, others just very small talk.

By ten pm you were absolutely ready to ditch the whole thing and go to bed. You did it, it's over, it went well and the world didn't fell. So yeah, you called it a day. With everyone else, at least. But you still had some unfinished business with a person in particular.

Minho not so secretly followed you with his gaze all evening. He was so glad that the presentation went smoothly and it was over. He was also very proud of you. While your... relationship had been very short by then, he worked with you enough to know that you put your whole efforts into this project, and it paid off.

He was keeping his eye on you, but you were keeping yours on him as well. And both of you noticed. To be honest, the intention wasn't even to hide it.

You never interacted once. He just congratulated you along with everyone else, then that was it.

As he had been doing all night, he followed you with his eyes as you made your way out of the conference room. He waited a couple of seconds, then nonchalantly ditched his half consumed drink and followed you. As he expected, he found you waiting for him.

"Fancy seeing you here" he teased. He may have not acted like it, but he was actually quite nervous.

"Yeah, right" you replied with the slightest hint of humor, " I know there is a pool outside. It's closed now but you can still access it through the garden."

The man nodded in acknowledgedment, silently following at a moderately short distance, behind you.

Neither spoke a word until you were outside, the pool sides and the small garden dimly lit with warm lights. You sat on the sunbeds, next to each other. It was actually pretty cold, but you didn't seem to care at that point. At least there was no one else there, as you hoped.

"So..." he started, mostly to break the ice. And like that, as if you were waiting for a clue, you blurted out "Do you regret it?"

Minho stared at you for a second, slightly confused.

"What makes you think that?"

"Just answer. And be honest. I can take it, you know." your rubber your shoulder, both from the cold as well as the nervousness.

"I know you can." , he stated, serious "No. I didn't. Did you? Is that why you're asking?"

Your gaze finally found his again, the annoyance giving you some courage.

"No, I didn't. It was my idea, remember?", you paused, " I'm asking because you were cold last night. You know, after." just like that, eye contact was out of the window again.

"What? If anything it was you who disappeared without saying a word." he retorted. You raised an eyebrow.

"I went to clean up. You went to the bathroom so I thought you wanted some space."

"I was going to help you clean up. Not even the time to come back with a towel that you already left. At that point I thought, 'ah nice, the stress relief is over, better go back home' ", he air quoted with his fingers, "What was I supposed to think? Those were your intentions after all."

You couldn't really debate that. That's exactly what you said. It was crazy, you didn't even really know each other. If you weren't co-workers you wouldn't have seen each other again, ever. And that was probably the biggest mistake.

You knew the risk of getting personal life involved with the workplace. But then again you only wanted a night of meaningless sex. Why even make this fuss? Yet, there must be something. Otherwise you wouldn't bother having this conversation.

"Might be. All I know is that I literally asked you to stay, I offered you a place in my bed. Without any second meaning." you specified, "And instead you shut me down and went to sleep on the fucking couch. Left without a note or anything." you tilted your head to the side.

"I have already explained my reasons.", he replied, "Honestly what I get from this is that we're both pretty bad at communication." you stared at each other for a moment, and then, out of the blue, stifled laughs.

"Why are we arguing like an actual couple?" you asked, genuinely confused and weirdly amused by the situation. He shook his head, as clueless as you were.

"I have no idea."

Silence fell between you two for some time. Until you leaned back, propping yourself up with your hands on the sunbed.

"So what now?"

"What now?" he repeated.

"Do we pretend like this never happened?" yours was a genuine question, no second meaning or pressure behind it. He shrugged.

"Do you want to?"

"Do you?" he rolled his eyes, a light smirk on his face. You were just parroting each other at this point.

"I mean, I enjoyed myself. Don't know about the future, but that's a quite nice memory to keep, at the very least." he replied honestly, sneaking you a look, "Did you enjoy it?"

The question and the eye contact combined making you you blush. You nodded, acting more nonchalant than you were actually feeling. But you couldn't hide the but of mischief in your eyes at the thought.

Minho licked his lips, biting back a smile. Then nodded to himself.

"Right. Well, I say we see what happens. One thing we can agree on, though, is whatever, - if- anything happens, it stays out of the office" he waited for your response.

"Okay", you said, "Let's see what happens on Monday, then." you exchanged a smile.

Yeah, who knows, what will happen on Monday?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Y'all are gonna hate me for that finale🤣 but I warned you!!

That's it from me, hope you enjoyed and if you did, feel free to leave a feedback :')

Bye<3

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (Part 4) - Kaz Brekker x reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names) Genre: modern AU, slow burn word count: 5.1k notes: please let me know what you think <3

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram

tw: past abusive relationship, also, things are going to be more explicit from here

Kaz and y/n were on her bed. She was wearing little to no clothes, and they were slowly working on getting him to some level of undressing. Inej would be back in a week, and his nerves were preventing him from being more at ease. y/n was seated on his lap, her legs on his sides, and was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, talking to him, kissing him, keeping him distracted from her fingers. Kaz, on the other hand, was fighting with half of his brain not to throw up and the other half not to react too evidently to their position. y/n was so close that he was sure she would be able to feel any changes. He knew she wouldn’t mind, but he would want to erase himself from the earth.

“Kaz, breathe,” she reminded him. His shirt was open, and she was taking in the sight of his upper body.

“Stop biting your lip,” he said playfully.

“Sorry, you’re a good view,” she replied, smiling.

She waited for him to steady himself a bit and was about to touch his chest when they heard someone screaming outside.

“y/n, where the fuck are you?”

The girl paled. “No, no, no. Who the fuck let him in?” she said, panicking. She quickly got up and put on a robe.

Someone kept shouting angrily for her. “y/n, what is going on?” asked Kaz, worried. He had never seen her embarrassed about anything, and there she was, trembling with wide eyes.

“My ex-boyfriend,” she whispered. “I have to try and get him out,” she said before leaving the room.

Kaz listened to the loud noise. They were both screaming. A brutal bang followed by her crying in pain made him jump out of the bed and storm out of the room, just to witness the guy slamming her into the wall. Kaz grabbed him by the shoulders and forcefully got him out of the apartment, while the other guy kept shouting.

“Who are you? Another one of her clients or one of her boyfriends? That whore is going to ruin you too,” he spat before Kaz threw him down the stairs.

He found her crying on the floor, her temple bloodied, and she was holding her right side. It was the first glimpse of her real life that he saw. Kaz let her compose herself a bit, then helped her up, hissing in pain.

“Can you take me to the police?” she asked with puffy eyes. He nodded, and they gathered their things and got in the car.

The silence was heavy. “Do you want to talk about it?” Kaz needed desperately to know more.

“He was my client. I fell for him. Of course, things didn’t work out because he couldn’t bear the idea of me keeping my job while staying with him.” She talked in brief points, like she had told the story a million times. “Then he started beating the shit out of me regularly so I couldn’t work. It took me months to get out of it. Sometimes he still gets drunk and—” her voice trailed off. Kaz’s hand was already on her thigh, and he squeezed it reassuringly.

They spent some time at the police station, where they blamed her for her bad choices in men. Kaz felt his stomach sink at her defeated face.

“I can call an Uber, there’s no need for you to take me back home,” she whispered once outside. All of his cells screamed that it was the right thing to let her go.

“I’m not letting you go back to that place tonight. You’re staying with me,” he stated firmly.

y/n froze. “Kaz, you already did enough, there’s no need to—”

“y/n, I’m serious. Don’t worry.”

“I… I don’t want to make this weird.”

“It’s not. Come on,” he insisted, opening the car door for her. She hesitantly got inside.

“Can we get McDonald’s?” she asked in a small voice.

He chuckled. “Weren’t you a vegan?”

“Oh, shut up,” she said, letting a nervous laugh escape her lips.

On the drive to his place, they made a detour to the nearest McDonald’s drive-thru.

“What do you want?” he asked her.

“Uhm, a Happy Meal, with chicken nuggets.”

“A Happy Meal? That’s all you’re going to eat?” Kaz raised an eyebrow, skeptical.

“Yes,” she replied with a small smile.

Kaz shook his head, bemused, then ordered two of his usual Big Mac meals and one Happy Meal. As they drove, the car filled with the scent of fast food, providing a strange sense of comfort amidst the chaos of the evening.

When they arrived at his apartment, Kaz opened the door and ushered her inside. “I like your house,” she said, looking around appreciatively at the minimalist, yet cozy decor.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he said, gesturing to the couch while he changed into something more comfortable. When he returned, she was seated, her Happy Meal open on the coffee table, the TV already set to Netflix.

They ate in silence, the soft glow of the television casting a warm light over the room. Kaz watched her as she nibbled on her nuggets, her appetite seeming even smaller in his spacious living room.

After just two nuggets, she declared, “I’m full.”

“Are you sure?” he insisted, concerned she wasn’t eating enough. She nodded, avoiding his gaze and playing with the toy she found in the happy meal. 

“I have something for bruises that works really well. I’ll get it for you,” Kaz said, leaving her momentarily to retrieve a small jar of cream from the bathroom. Returning, he found her waiting patiently, her eyes shadowed with exhaustion and pain.

She tilted her head to let him apply the cream to the bruise on her temple, then lifted her shirt slightly to expose the large, darkening bruise forming on her side. Kaz’s hands trembled slightly as he tried to avoid touching her breast, focusing solely on the task at hand. The proximity was intoxicating and terrifying all at once.

“All done,” he said, pulling away and snapping the lid back onto the jar.

“Thanks, Kaz,” she murmured. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No way, I’ll take the couch,” he countered immediately.

“I am not going to let you leave me your bed. Come on,” she insisted.

“I wasn’t asking,” he said firmly.

y/n sighed, looking at him for a long moment. “We can sleep in the same bed. We already did it,” she said softly.

Kaz held his breath, memories flooding back. Yes, they had slept together, but under very different circumstances—circumstances that involved a transaction. 

“I mean, if you’re comfortable with it,” she added quickly, sensing his hesitation.

“I thought you didn’t work outside your house,” he said, cursing himself for what he was implying.

y/n smiled, a small, genuine smile that reached her eyes. “I’m not working tonight.”

Kaz's heart pounded in his chest. “Okay, then. Let’s get some sleep,” he said, trying to sound casual.

They made their way to his bedroom. The room was simple, yet elegant, with dark wood furniture and crisp white linens. Kaz rummaged through his wardrobe to find something for her to sleep in, carefully avoiding the section where Inej's clothes hung—a stark reminder of the boundaries he was perilously close to crossing. He handed y/n a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, averting his gaze as she changed in front of him. The intimacy of the moment made his heart race, but he forced himself to look away, focusing instead on the patterns in the wood grain of the floor.

Kaz slid into bed, feeling the cool sheets against his skin, while y/n brushed her teeth in the bathroom. The mundane sounds of running water and the rustle of clothes brought a strange sense of normalcy to the otherwise charged atmosphere. When she finally joined him, she maintained a respectful distance, both of them lying on their sides facing each other.

"Thanks, Kaz," she said, her voice soft and earnest. "No one ever stepped in for me like this." Her eyes locked onto his, seeming to pierce right through him, searching for something deeper. She rested a hand on the space between them, a silent invitation, leaving the choice to him.

Kaz hesitated for a moment, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. He felt the weight of her gaze, the sincerity in her voice, and the vulnerability in her posture. Slowly, he reached out and covered her hand with his. The cold of her skin against his sent a jolt through him, but it also brought an unexpected sense of comfort.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do or say. The lines between them had always been clear, but now they were blurred, muddied by the raw emotions of the night. y/n shifted closer, her cold feet brushing against his legs, sending a shiver up his spine. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, a stark contrast to the confident persona she usually displayed.

"Great kiss moment," she whispered with a faint smile, breaking the tension. Kaz couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her words. She turned onto her other side, putting some distance between them once more.

As he lay there, Kaz’s mind raced. He thought about Inej, about the promises he had made to himself and to her. He thought about y/n, her vulnerability, and the strange connection that had formed between them. He knew he was treading dangerous waters, but there was something about her that drew him in, something he couldn’t quite understand.

The room was silent, save for the soft sounds of their breathing. Kaz stared at the ceiling, his mind a tangled web of thoughts and emotions. He wondered what it would be like to let go, to allow himself to feel something more. But then, the image of Inej’s face would flash before his eyes, anchoring him back to reality.

Kaz knew he couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. He needed to make a choice, to decide where his loyalties lay and what he truly wanted. But for now, as he lay next to y/n, he allowed himself to simply be. The warmth of her hand in his, the sound of her breathing, the quiet moments of connection—they were enough to bring him a sense of peace, however fleeting it might be.

In the silence of the night, Kaz closed his eyes, holding onto that sliver of peace. Tomorrow would bring new challenges, new decisions to make. But for now, in the quiet darkness, he allowed himself to rest.

Kaz was caught in a dreamlike haze, the remnants of a fleeting and indistinct dream still lingering in his mind. He couldn't quite grasp the details, only the sensation of floating, a distant voice calling out to him. In the dream, he felt warmth beside him, and instinctively pulled someone closer, murmuring softly, "Nej." But instead of Inej, his nose was filled with the unexpected scent of cherries, and a voice cut through the haze, bringing him abruptly back to reality.

"I'm not Inej, Kaz," y/n's voice sounded, her sleepy eyes unexpectedly close to his own as he abruptly opened his eyes. 

"Good morning," she greeted with a tight smile, but Kaz was still struggling to process the situation. "You can let me go now, love," she nudged gently. "I mean, I can feel you're happy to see me but—" Kaz quickly pulled his arm away from her waist, putting some distance between them.

"I can make breakfast, if you want," she offered, stretching her arms. Kaz tried to inject some lightness into his voice, asking in his sleepy rasp, "Can you cook?" His attempt at humor came out harsher than intended.

"Of course I can cook. I've been living alone since forever," she commented as she got up from the bed. That was perhaps the third thing Kaz had learned about her.

"I'm coming. I just... need a minute," Kaz muttered, feeling embarrassed, but y/n chuckled softly in response.

As they ate breakfast, Kaz gradually realized that she had cooked just for him, while she herself ate a piece of bread and sipped coffee. "Fuck, you're vegan, sorry I forgot—" he began, only to be interrupted by y/n shaking her head.

"It's fine. I never have breakfast," she reassured him, marking the fourth thing he learned about her. “And do you mean that you forgot? Were you planning on inviting me over?” she added playfully. “It came out wrong,” he chuckled. 

"Can I take a shower? I have some things to do around here, and it would be great not having to go back home," she asked after finishing her coffee, and Kaz nodded agreeably, still focused on his meal.

Kaz checked his phone absently, sending a good morning text to Inej and reviewing his Google calendar for the day. Just as he was settling into the day's routine, a loud knock on the door shattered the tranquility.

"Kaz, it's Jesper. I know you're in here," Jesper's voice called out from beyond the door.

Kaz cursed under his breath, realizing in an instant that he was not alone. Two cups and two plates on the table, her purse left on the couch—all clear evidence that he couldn't hide.

"There you are," Jesper greeted upon entering with his spare key, spotting Kaz frozen at the kitchen table. "Kaz, are you alright?" he asked, concern etching his features.

Kaz struggled to find the right words, knowing Jesper was seconds away from discovering he wasn't alone. "Did you have breakfast twice or are you behind on washing dishes?" Jesper inquired casually, though his eyes wandered and inevitably landed on y/n's bag.

"Look, Jes, it's not a good moment. Can you come back later?" Kaz attempted to deflect, hoping to buy some time.

"What do you mean, not a good moment?" Jesper persisted, his eyes scanning the room and fixing on y/n's belongings. "Kaz, are you alone?" he raised his brows pointedly.

"Of course I'm alone," Kaz replied quickly, but before he could say more, y/n's voice echoed from the bathroom.

"Kaz! I can't find your blow dryer," she called out, appearing in the doorway with damp hair. Jesper's mouth fell open at the sight.

Kaz looked heavenward, silently grateful that she was wearing clothes. She had pulled on her leggings and the shirt Kaz had lent her to sleep in, but it was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. Drops of water from her hair were staining the white shirt further, adding to the awkwardness of the moment.

"Kaz? Why is this girl here and why is she wearing your clothes?" Jesper's voice cut through the silence.

"I'm not wearing his clothes," y/n interjected quickly, but Jesper pointed to the writing on her shirt.

"That shirt says 'from Jesper.' I gave it to him," Jesper pointed out.

"My grandma's name is Jesper," y/n quipped with a hint of amusement, unable to hide a smirk. Kaz couldn't help but snort loudly at her attempt to divert the attention away from the awkward situation, and Jesper redirected his focus back to Kaz.

"I can't believe you. You're actually cheating on Inej," Jesper accused sharply.

"I'm not cheating," Kaz retorted, feeling defensive.

"Then what are you doing? Come on, Kaz, how much evidence can you try to negate?" Jesper pressed on, his frustration palpable.

Kaz and y/n exchanged a quick glance, and Kaz noticed a pang of guilt in her eyes. He wanted to tell her that his web of lies wasn't her fault. He weighed his options, contemplating whether to come clean and explain their arrangement, hoping Jesper would understand. Or he could let Jesper think he was cheating on Inej, knowing Jesper would likely go and tell her himself.

"Look, Jesper, it's not what you think," Kaz began, trying to choose his words carefully.

"Then what the fuck is this?" Jesper demanded.

"She's helping me with—" Kaz started to explain, but y/n cut in bluntly.

"I'm a sex worker," she blurted out, her voice steady but tinged with vulnerability.

Jesper's jaw dropped, stunned into silence. "You're even paying to cheat on her? Saints, Kaz, with her history? A... a whore?" Jesper's words came out in disbelief and anger.

"Don't call her that," Kaz snapped, rising from his seat defensively. "Oh, sorry, how should I call her?" Jesper mocked back, his tone laced with disdain.

"It's just a temporary arrangement, Jesper. It's not... I'm doing it for Inej," Kaz tried to explain, feeling the weight of Jesper's judgment bearing down on him.

"Yeah, right. Do you even listen to yourself?" Jesper retorted sharply, his frustration evident.

"I should leave," y/n murmured quietly, hurt evident in her eyes.

"Yes, you fucking should," Jesper responded harshly.

Kaz and y/n made their way to the door together, their exit punctuated by a tense silence. "Kaz, I'm so sorry. I—" y/n began apologetically.

"It's not your fault. I'll try to handle him," Kaz reassured her, placing his hand over hers on the doorknob. Their eyes met for a brief moment, unspoken understanding passing between them, before she nodded and left.

Kaz turned back to face Jesper, bracing himself for the difficult conversation that lay ahead. The tension in the room was palpable, and it didn't take long for their exchange to escalate into a full-blown argument. Voices were raised, accusations were hurled, and the air crackled with frustration.

Kaz tried desperately to make his friend understand his reasons, explaining his need to acclimate to human touch for Inej's sake. But Jesper, his skepticism deeply rooted, remained unconvinced. "Look," Jesper said, his voice weary from hours of arguing, "I don't want to know anything. I still don't know if I should believe you or not, because you've been in love with Inej since the first time you laid eyes on her. Just don't hurt her, Kaz, and don't hurt yourself too."

Kaz nodded, equally exhausted. The weight of Jesper's words pressed heavily on his shoulders, mingling with his own doubts and fears. Despite the exhaustion, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about y/n, wondering what she was doing, how she was feeling. The argument with Jesper had only intensified his concern.

He gave in and texted her, ‘Everything okay?’ The minutes felt like hours as he waited for a response, his mind conjuring up all sorts of scenarios. Finally, his phone buzzed with a reply—a picture of a piercing studio. Kaz frowned, curiosity piqued. He stared at the image, wondering what she was up to and if she was okay.

Just as he was about to text her back, another message came in, this time from Inej. It was a picture of her suspended in the air, performing one of her daring acrobatic feats. A rush of anxiety washed over him, a familiar sensation whenever he saw her in such precarious situations. ‘Be careful,’ he replied, feeling a pang of protectiveness. Moments later, a heart emoji popped up on his screen, and he couldn't help but smile.

Still, the unresolved tension from his argument with Jesper gnawed at him. He knew he needed to clear his head, to find a way to balance the complex web of his relationships. He couldn't afford to let his emotions spiral out of control. He decided to distract himself by diving into work, hoping that focusing on tasks would help him regain some semblance of calm.

Hours passed as Kaz immersed himself in his work, but his mind kept drifting back to y/n. The image of the piercing studio lingered in his thoughts, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to check on her. He picked up his phone and typed out another message, ‘What are you getting pierced?’ He hit send, half expecting a quick reply and half preparing himself for silence. And she didn’t answer.

***

Three days before Inej’s arrival, Kaz found himself once again on the familiar couch in the dimly lit apartment. He sat there, rigid and tense, while the usual girl was lounging nearby, engrossed in her phone and watching TikToks. From y/n's room, the most wild, unabashed sounds were emanating, echoing through the otherwise quiet space.

“Please, please, I want more,” y/n cried out, her voice laced with desperation. “I can take it.”

Kaz felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. The secretary snorted at his obvious discomfort, still not looking away from her phone. “I think she’s trying to prove a point,” she observed nonchalantly. Her detachment only added to Kaz’s awkwardness.

Kaz didn't know how to respond. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the rawness of y/n's cries making him feel a strange mix of emotions. The haunting words from her friends—‘Wait until he discovers that you’re an animal in bed’—kept replaying in his mind, a mantra that fueled his sense of inadequacy. Despite his attempts to focus elsewhere, her pleading grew more and more desperate, wrapping around his thoughts like a suffocating fog.

Finally, the sounds ceased, and Kaz exhaled a breath. The oppressive silence that followed was almost as unbearable as the noise that had preceded it.

After what felt like an eternity, the door to y/n's room opened. Two men emerged, still adjusting their ties and elbowing each other with satisfied grins. They barely spared Kaz a glance as they left, their casual departure a stark contrast to the turmoil brewing inside him.

Kaz waited, listening to the faint rustle of sheets and the muffled sounds of y/n moving around her room. It took longer than usual for her to call for him. When she finally did, her voice was subdued, almost hesitant.

“Kaz, you can come in now.”

He rose from the couch, steeling himself as he approached her door. Inside, y/n was fixing the pillows on her bed, her movements precise and mechanical. The room smelled faintly of vanilla and something more primal, a lingering reminder of what had transpired.

“Sorry, I had to... clean up,” she said, not meeting his gaze. Her tone was matter-of-fact, but Kaz detected a subtle undercurrent of something else—perhaps fatigue, or maybe a hint of regret.

Kaz swallowed hard, feeling a tight knot form in his stomach. He knew he should say something, anything, to break the tension, but words failed him. Instead, he found himself staring at the freshly made bed, the pristine white sheets a stark contrast to the chaotic thoughts swirling in his mind.

When she turned, Kaz's eyes fell on the two matching love bites adorning the sides of her neck. The sight triggered a violent surge of jealousy, his mind involuntarily conjuring images of the two men kissing her at the same time. It made him want to beat them unconscious.

“Fuck, I’m exhausted,” she sighed, collapsing onto the bed.

“Come here, babe. What do you want to do?” she asked, and Kaz mechanically sat next to her, pulling her closer. 

“No shirt?” he proposed, letting his hand linger in her hair.

“Nasty,” she commented playfully.

Like the other day, she straddled him, her legs on either side of his hips. She began to unbutton his shirt, her fingers deftly working each button until she could slide it off and throw it to the floor. The feel of her hands on his bare chest made his heart race, every touch sending electric shocks through his nerves.

“Talk to me, Kaz,” she whispered, her hands exploring his trembling chest.

He closed his eyes firmly, trying to steady his breath. “Were they good?” he asked, unable to shake the image of the two satisfied men leaving her room.

“Yes, actually,” she said, her hands wandering over his arms. She reached his hands and guided them to rest on her waist. 

“Do you like it? When there are more than one?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” she said again, her breath warm against his neck.

He flinched at her answer, a knot of tension tightening in his gut. She seemed to sense his discomfort and tickled him with her nose, a soft, affectionate gesture that distracted him momentarily.

Kaz’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions. The possessiveness, the jealousy, and the confusion about his own desires and boundaries swirled within him. But amidst it all, there was an underlying need to understand her, to connect with her on a level that went beyond their current arrangement.

“Why?” he found himself asking, his voice raw with vulnerability. “Why do you like it?”

She paused, her eyes searching his face. “Because it makes me feel desired,” she said softly. “It’s not about the number of people, Kaz. It’s about the feeling of being wanted, of being the center of attention. It’s a rush.”

y/n pressed her body against his chest, or Kaz pulled her closer until there was no space between them—he had no idea. His breath was fast, his ribcage convulsing against her bra. He felt her lips on his neck, her hands tangled in his hair. “Did you come?” he whispered.

“Twice,” she murmured against his skin.

y/n rolled her hips on his, making him hiss. “Do you like to think about it, Kaz?” she whispered in his ear, her voice a seductive purr. “How everyone gets to fuck me, apart from you?” Her hips stopped moving, and he instinctively started guiding them with his hands still on her waist. “Do you want to know how good they make me feel? How good you could make me feel?”

Kaz felt the control of the situation slipping away from him, yet he craved every word, every movement. He wanted her to keep talking, to keep moving against him, making him feel so close to heaven he swore he saw the light. “I’m just waiting for you, love,” she purred before pressing her lips on his. Kaz felt his hands sliding on her back like he had always wanted to do. Soft moans escaped from both of them, and he was feeling less and less ashamed of them. One hand went to her hair, as usual, while the other pressed her more into him, increasing the friction between them.

He was close, so close.

Abruptly, his thoughts went to Inej—sweet, loving Inej—and he interrupted the kiss, moving her away. “Stop, stop. Safe word, whatever,” he said, passing a hand over his face and through his hair. Kaz was fighting for his life, while y/n casually lay on the bed, looking at him like a cat would watch a small mouse.

She cocked her head, her eyes glinting with curiosity and something darker. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Kaz nodded, his chest heaving as he tried to steady his breath. “I can’t do this... not like this.”

“What was that?” Kaz asked, locking eyes with her, his voice a mixture of confusion and anger.

“Just wanting to make you feel good. You were finally letting go,” she replied, her tone sharp, a stark contrast to her usual calm demeanor.

“I’m not here to let go,” he said almost angrily, his frustration bubbling to the surface.

“Yes, you are,” she shot back, her eyes blazing with a challenge.

“I have a girlfriend,” he countered, trying to remind himself of his boundaries.

“You are my client,” she retorted, harshly. The words cut through the room like a knife, leaving a tense silence in their wake.

Kaz's head shot in her direction, his confusion deepening. Was she mad? Were they fighting?”

“Your girlfriend is not my concern, you are,” she snapped, shrugging off her see-through robe and exposing herself even more. It was a calculated move, a way to push him to the edge. Kaz could see through her tactics, the way she was trying to set some distance between them. She let him hear her with the two men, she edged him until he was about to lose control. A desperate try of letting him see who she truly was. Her nails attracted his focus, they were long and bright red. He hated them. 

“You are here because you want to stay with her, and I am here because I never get enough,” she said, stepping closer and kissing his cheek with an almost cruel tenderness.

“I think you should go,” she added, her voice cold and final.

She was right, but he didn’t want to leave. He had no idea what he wanted anymore. His emotions were a tangled mess, his mind torn between guilt, desire, and confusion.

“You’re trying to push me away,” he accused, his voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.

“Maybe I am,” she admitted, her eyes hard. “Maybe you need to see what this really is.”

Kaz clenched his fists, struggling to keep his composure. “I’m not some project for you to manipulate.”

“And I’m not some placeholder for your girlfriend!” she shot back, her voice rising. “You come here, seeking something you can’t get from her, and yet you act like I’m the one crossing the line?”

“You don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m trying to deal with my issues, to be better for her.”

“And using me in the process?” she challenged, stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s not fair, Kaz.”

He took a deep breath, his frustration boiling over. “I never wanted this to become complicated. I just wanted to—”

“To what?” she interrupted. “To fix yourself without getting your hands dirty? Life doesn’t work that way, Kaz.”

Silence fell between them, heavy and suffocating. Kaz felt a lump in his throat, his mind racing.

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

She looked at him, her expression softening slightly. “Figure it out, Kaz. And until you do, maybe it’s best if we don’t see each other.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and sadness. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

He turned and left the room, each step feeling heavier than the last. As he walked away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was leaving a part of himself behind.

***

Of course, it didn't last long. Kaz was outside her apartment, watching the light in her room and her silhouette moving around. It was past 2 in the morning, and he was drunk. He promised himself that if her light was off, he would drive back home. He cursed her for being awake, feeling the familiar pull of his conflicting desires. Kaz waited to be sure she was alone, then pulled out his phone and confirmed a transfer of 1500 kruge to her account, labeling it “I'm outside.”

[thankskenpenders]

And now for something new

So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!

Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.

If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...

Number one: Why?

Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?

And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.

Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?

NO!!!!!!!!!

Okay but prove it

To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.

If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!

This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.

It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.

(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)

Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!

I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.

I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.

(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)

Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.

So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.

Look forward to goofy shit like this

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕙 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request Simeon, Barbatos, and Solomon with a metalsmith s/o?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Definitely! Honestly, I'm not fully satisfied with it but... I hope you're still gonna somehow like it?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Barbatos is honestly surprised someone his young is still doing it, it's now rare to find a metalsmith so you must be really dedicated...

✧ back then, when metalsmiths were still common, he remembers helping and observing, learning how humans do it

✧ so now when he sees you, he'd love to see if the methods changed and maybe even push you towards right direction

✧ if you're simply using new methods, he'd be more than happy to learn or understand them better

✧ but if you're new to this, he won't interrupt your learning process but he might point out few basic mistakes so you won't adapt them later on

✧ if you're a woman, he'll be even more impressed, it's not often you meet female metalsmith so his theory that you're passionate about this, only confirms more

✧ even if you're not working as metalsmith and do it just as a hobby, he'll still support you

"Few years ago your earn thousands by doing this everyday... well yes, it is couple hundreds but for me there's little difference."

✧ and if you have your shop of any kind, he'll be happy to assist you and help you out, mostly in the cleaning process since he doesn't want to accidentally mess up your vision but still wants to somehow help

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Simeon has big respect towards what you're doing, he know it's not easy nor is it profitable nowadays

✧ if you'll want to, he'll be happy to tell you how this profession was doing in the past but he doesn't want to demotivate you either so he might keep it brief

✧ if it's your job, he'll often remind you how rare it is and try to motivate you so you won't burn out

✧ but if you're doing this because it's your hobby , he'll of course still do his best to motivate you but also takes it a bit easier as he realizes you must have some passion for it if you call it your hohby

✧ he definitely knows more about this than technology so you can actually count on his help here!

✧ if you want him to help with metal, he gladly will do his best to take some weight off your shoulders

✧ but if you just need someone to clean, he'll be happy to do that too and knows he won't mess up here so he's much more confident!

"Don't worry. You can finish your swords, I'll take care of cleaning. Oh and also, would you like to eat something? It was about 6 hours since you had something... I'd be happy to cook something for you."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your soft angel~

✧ Solomon somehow have that feeling you'll be into stuff like that, it was like his intuition just told him the right thing

✧ he's happy to see you're doing something so important and so rare

✧ he can't keep his hands to himself, he'll touch every sword or anything you make and inspect it. But he at least gives compliments while doing so!

"Wow... this sword is great! You really did it by hand? I'm surprised it hasn't been sold yet... if someone won't take it, I might as well do so!"

✧ if you're doing this just for works sake, he'll try to show you all the positives of what you're doing and hopefully you can start enjoying your job as well

✧ but if you're doing this we hobby, prepare he'll often drop his ideas to you and watch what you'll do with them

✧ he's really just hanging out around you and being your mental support as he peeks into every corner

✧ and he probably knows a lot about metalsmith work too but he decides to keep it a secret and pretend to learn from you, because he just loves seeing how much you know about it and your passion for it

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[gorchards]

Love Lines - Yuta Okkotsu x Reader pt.2

word count: 3,349

a/n: here's part two! super excited about this one actually :3 cannot believe it is a mere 3,349 words... I thought it would for sure beat part one, but I was wrong! also note that Y/N has a little thing with Choso but tis a mere flashback thing... I'm sorry to the Choso lovers because as much as I love him I had to pick someone...

You paced back and forth in your dorm as you waited for your phone to ding.

A text from Yuta was what you were waiting for, and was what you had been waiting for for the last 43 hours.

“Y/N, turn that thing off already.”

You looked up from your phone, to see your friend Nobara sitting on your bed, eating your chips. Of course, with an eyebrow raised in your direction.

“You know I’m right. You’ve basically jumped five feet into the air at every little noise that things made. Can’t be healthy for you.” She said between bites.

“You wouldn’t understand, Nobara…” You whined, dramatically leaning on your desk and pretending to feel faint.

“I’m not your mom! Don’t say it like that!!” She huffed, sticking her tongue out at you. “I just don’t get how you could get worked up over some boy.”

Yuji chimed into the conversation from his spot on your roomates' bean bag. “I mean, I know why you’re freaking out but… Y/N, it’s Yuta! You guys were friends for like, forever! And he was always pretty chill from what I remember… I’m sure it’s not gonna be weird or anything.” He said.

Nobara gave him a raised brow as well. 

“I’m not… I’m not worried it’s going to be weird.” You replied. 

“Then what is it?” He asked.

You bit your lip. You weren’t 100% sure why you were so nervous, but you tried your best to explain anyway. “… What if it’s… like… just not right? What if it just doesn’t make sense anymore, I mean… It’s been so long since I’ve seen him. He’s moved on with his life and so have I… I’m not sure it would make sense to try again… uhm, try and be friends again. I mean there’s a reason we separated the first time and-“

“This again.”

Megumi’s cool voice cut through the air. You looked up to see him closing the front door and locking it behind him completely silently. It would have been creepy, had you not been so used to it by now.

He began looking directly at you with his eternally judging eyes as he situated himself in your own beanbag chair.

“Megumi! They were sorting their feelings out!” Yuji scolded, poking his cheek.

“Yeah, Megumi!! Don’t interrupt them!” Nobara chided, sending him a little glare.

He fought against the urge to roll his eyes. (And failed.) “I just don’t understand why they must make it so complicated.”

“I’m not making it complicated, it just is complicated!” You argued.

Megumi pinched the bridge of his nose. “You want to see him again?”

“Yes…”

“And he wants to see you?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“But what? That’s all there is to it.” He said.

“No it’s not I- I don’t even know how he’s doing emotionally! What if… What if nothing has changed from before? I mean, our identities were so intertwined that when he-“

“Didn’t you just say that he had moved on with his life.” Megumi deadpanned.

“Well, yes…”

“Y/N. You are way overcomplicating this.”

“I am not!!”

“Are too. If you both want to be friends again, and you both have changed, why are you so scared? It’s worth a shot, right?”

“I…”

“That was rhetorical. You need to answer that for yourself, not me.”

For a brief moment, you found yourself falling silent.

Why were you so nervous? It was just Yuta after all.

Perhaps, because it had been so long? After all, you had very little idea of what he had been up to in your time apart. 

What if you had nothing in common anymore?

What if he changed more than you knew?

What if you had completely incompatible schedules?

What if his new friends didn’t like you, and drove you apart again?

… But then again, you already knew that you two could still keep up a fun conversation together thanks to your little encounter at the coffee shop. You had seen all the little things that hadn’t changed about him after all this time. You knew deep down that he would move heaven and earth to see you again. You knew he still considered you his best friend.

Those worries weren’t true at all. Just anxious thoughts that gnawed at you. Things you told yourself over the years to convince yourself that it wouldn’t be right to follow your heart right back to him in any capacity. Things that were louder than ever before.

… If you were being completely honest with yourself… Maybe it was because you knew you still had feelings for him. Even after all this time.

And if that was true there was a possibility that eventually, that could drive you two apart no matter how hard you tried to fight against it. These feelings you had ran deep. That care that you felt for him might breach, extend, and pressure your mental state and drive you apart… the same way it had the first time. 

You snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of Nobara breaking the silence.

“Megumi, you’re totally oversimplifying things.” She said, rolling her eyes. “It’s like you’ve got a heart of stone or something.” 

Megumi shrugged. “I’m just putting it into context. It’s not healthy for them to stew like that with their thoughts like that. I’m sure you agree.” He replied pointedly.

Yuji pondered for a minute on what he said. “I mean, he’s like… still their ex. It’s gonna feel weird because of that. Like it’s natural for them to want to think about it a little bit m-“

“Yuji, you said it wouldn’t be weird!!!” You whined, starting to pout a little bit.

He panicked slightly. “I meant weird, like complicated! Not weird like weird bad!”

“Yuji!” You groaned.

“Y/N!” He mimicked.

You glared at him.

“Oh. Uh. Sorry.” He scratched the back of his head. He lowered his head in apology, a guilty pout and eyes that looked at you like a four-week-old puppy who had just chewed up your nice shoes.

“You are forgiven.” You sighed. “But still. You guys aren’t helping at all! What am I supposed to say if he texts?”

“Tell him when you’re free.” Megumi stated.

You groaned, holding your head in your hands. “Megumi!”

He shook his head at you. “I’ve done all I can do for you. At least try to keep it down while I’m studying.” 

He started to move back across the room to his desk when the universe finally decided to answer your most secret prayer. Ding.

Immediately, all three of them turned to see you scrambling to pick up your phone. On bated breath, they waited to hear what it was.

“… It’s him!”

Yuji jumped up to read over your shoulder. “What’s it say? What’s it say?”

You began to read it aloud. “He said: ‘Hey Y/N, it’s Yuta, smiley face!”

Nobara looked puzzled. “Why did he do that? You obviously know it’s him. Couldn’t he have come up with a better opener?”

You bit your lip. “Well, actually, I only gave him my number…”

Nobara blinked in disbelief. “You can’t be serious right-”

Yuji shushed her. “He’s typing!”

Nobara and Megumi slowly inched their way over to have a look at your phone as well.

“I know it’s still finals season, but let me know when you have a little extra time. Mine is over this Friday, when is yours?”

“Why is he putting the ball in your court?” Nobara asked, nose scrunching up.

“I mean. What else is he supposed to say?” Yuji asked.

“According to Megumi?” Nobara then flattened her voice a comical amount. “Y/N, there’s a new coffee shop opening up this Saturday. We should go. ”

Yuji blinked. “But that’s not like him at all, from what I remember! And totally inconsiderate…”

Megumi hummed, causing Yuji to jump a little. “But it would get the point across in the simplest way.”

Yuji shook his head. “I think if he wants to ask them out he should be-“

“It’s NOT a date!” You interjected. You wished it could be, though. “I don’t even know what he wants to do!”

“Well, you should respond! Don’t leave him on delivered!” Yuji exclaimed.

Nobara shook her head. “I think they should wait. He made them wait two days for a response.

Megumi pinched his forehead. “Can you stop. Your mind games are going to give him the wrong idea.”

“Shuuut up Fushiguro! It’s not ‘mind games’- That’s just stupid! It’s just what would be fair!” She argued back.

Yuji ignored them, shaking your shoulder. “Oh, oh! Maybe you could put in a little smiley face? That might get him to loosen up!”

The three began to discuss what you should do with much enthusiasm- or, in Megumi’s case, a mild interest in your personal life, with a side of being completely convinced that he was right. Slowly you began to tune out the sound of their voices as they threw out suggestions.

Really, what should you do?

In truth, there would be no objectively right or wrong answer. You could respond now, or later, and the world would keep turning and time would keep passing just as it always had. You wished that for a moment it would, so you could sit and puzzle out your thoughts and feelings without interruption. But even when time felt most like it should have stopped, the day you had shut him out of your life, it still didn’t. It was overwhelming, the many possibilities of what you could do. 

The three chattered on in your ear as you repeatedly wrote up and deleted potential messages in your notes app.

You tried to think. It had been so long since you had asked yourself this. But if it had been Yuta here beside you, instead of your three beloved friends, what would he have said to ease you? How would he have suggested you respond in a situation like this?

You did remember one such instance.

~

You had dated people before Yuta. Quite a few, in fact. But in truth, you had always felt rather uncomfortable sharing when you were in a relationship with him. At the time you had believed that it had been because you weren’t that serious with them… but you had come to realize that it was because you felt very differently about Yuta than you did your other friends. Even, differently than these people you had dated.

A couple of years before you started dating, you had found yourself in a bit of a situation with Choso Itadori. A boy who was in the same grade as Yuta, and was Yuji’s older brother.

Subtly, he had been flirting with you. Not directly, which wasn’t your style. But he was cute, and he was nice… fiercely loyal, but a tad socially inept. He helped with your homework when you were studying with Yuji, and he engaged you in fun conversation despite the chaos of the Itadori household. You thought he could be a good match for you. It made sense, didn’t it?

Of course, you had gone to Yuji for advice! That was only right. It made the most sense. But ultimately, when Choso had texted you, and you alone, asking you out for ice cream… you found yourself texting Yuta in a panicked frenzy. And within a few minutes he showed up at your door with a bag of popcorn and a very concerned expression.

The two of you had sat down on the floor of your room as you verbally puzzled over what you could do. There were so many options. Leave him waiting, so as to appear a little cooler? You were just Yuji’s friend after all- what if Choso found you childish? Or maybe it would be better to respond now! But then again, what would you say, and how would you say it? Perhaps you throw a heart emoji in there?

Yuta had listened intently, with an uncharacteristically pensive expression. He looked like he wanted to say something, but would insist that you get out all your thoughts on the table before he would tell you what it was. And so on you ranted, tangled up in the many what-ifs of what Yuta perceived to be a fairly straightforward situation. 

After about thirty minutes, you let out a loud sigh. “... I don’t know, Yuu… What should I say? What do you think?”

Yuta bit his lip. “Y/N I…” He paused, biting his lip. Pensive, and very deep in thought.

Yuta had told you later on what he had wanted to say at that moment. That he had wanted to tell you how he really felt about you. Not just that, but about the situation you were in, and especially how he felt about Choso at that moment. 

He was so, so jealous of Choso. His thoughts had flashed to moments where Yuta felt he was too far close and far too comfortable around you. And you didn’t suspect anything until he had started flirting with you. But Yuta knew. Of course, he knew. And when Choso had doodled your name in his notebook or whispered gushy things to his deskmate about how cute you looked today, Yuta was in the chair behind him packing his jealousy into boxes and storing them away as far back in his mind as he could. 

But he also knew that before his feelings for you (and his jealousy around Choso), came your friendship. He cared more about the bond you two shared, and he wanted to remain in your life no matter what. He had never ever wanted to risk losing you. He wanted you to be comfortable and in love with life. If that meant you didn’t feel the same about him… he would stay by your side regardless. How he felt about you, to him, was deeper than romantic or platonic attractions. He loved you in every sense of the word. He would do anything if it meant you would be happy.

“Y/N, I think… Well, what do you want to do?” He asked.

You paused. “Well… I’m not sure. That’s why I’m asking you. What do you think should I do?” You explained.

It was very common for you two to have this discussion back then.

And, as always, he had responded: “Hmm… I think… you should do what you want to do.” You groaned in frustration. “Yuta!”

“Sorry, sorry… I just mean… well, do you like him? You know, like, enough to share ice cream?” He asked.

“Hm… I don’t know about share. But I wouldn’t mind going to get some with him.” 

Yuta nodded, tense. “I… see.” He cleared his throat. “Well… do you… I don’t know… Would you…” He struggled to get the words out. “Would you… want to go on a date with him? Like, a date, date. To get ice cream.”

You tilted your head slightly in amusement. “I guess?”

“Y/N! You guess??” He gasped. He grabbed your shoulders. “You shouldn’t go out with a guy you guess you like! You should be with someone who… who makes you feel loved. Like… you know how you feel about him.” He said, as he slowly and anxiously let go of your shoulders.

You chuckled a little, shaking your head. “I mean, yeah! Duh! But how will I know how I feel about them if I don’t go out with them first?”

“I think you can get some idea after a little while…” He grumbled.

You turned your attention back to your phone, pondering Yuta’s question. What did you want to do, really?

You liked Choso, you knew. But… you also knew that you were coming up with a million reasons to stall. Was that your subconscious way of saying no?

Then again, it was kind of this way with everything you did. For some reason, you were paralyzed at the thought of somehow making a wrong choice. Sometimes that prevented you from making any choice at all, and you would blow whatever way the wind would take you.

… But if you really like-liked him, wouldn’t you be jumping at the chance to go out with him? Wouldn’t this override the overwhelming thoughts? Wouldn’t this be exciting, rather than… a strange feeling of neutrality toward it all? He was cute, and he was nice… but you found that the thought of him taking you out, versus the thought that you would just stay home that weekend didn’t make you feel one way or another.

It was then that you had made your choice. As you looked up at Yuta, a new possibility popped into your brain.

“... Say, Yuta! My parents just bought a gallon of ice cream, and I heard there was this spooky movie that just came out! Maybe we can go watch it when it gets dark? And then we could make use of that popcorn too…  We could make a sleepover out of this!” You offered, suddenly finding yourself grinning ear to ear.

“Oh- Sure! Of course! But uhm… What about this Choso thing?” He had asked.

You shrugged, jumping to your feet. “Eh… it can wait.” You said with a chuckle, offering him your hand. “Right now I want to make use of my Yuta time!”

A warm smile washed over his face as he took your hand. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

~

You snapped out of your memories very suddenly at the feeling of Yuji shaking you once more.

“Oh! Oh! I know! Y/N there’s this AWESOME amusement park that’s not too far from here! Megumi and I took Nobara and this girl she liked there and-”

“Absolutely not. That place is cursed!” Nobara proclaimed. 

“It isn’t cursed just because you dropped a corndog on her skirt. Really, you should have been more careful. I don’t think I would text you back either if you owed me dry-cleaning money.”

“Why you LITTLE-” Nobara was likely about to chew his head off, but your interruption saved him

“I know what I’m going to do.” A subtle softness laced your tone, and you found yourself smiling a little bit.

“Ohhhh what what what!” Yuji pestered, excitedly watching as you typed your response into your messenger app.

“My finals are over next week on Wednesday. There’s this ice cream spot near my campus that’s really cheap, and really good! Maybe we could both bring a friend? :)”

Megumi rolled his eyes. “If you want it to be a date why would you invite him to bring someone else.” He replied flatly.

“Have you ever considered, Fushiguro, that they’re trying to make him more comfortable?” He was about to reply, but Nobara stopped him completely. “NO, you haven’t! Don’t even try to lie!!” 

It was a little funny if you were honest. Nobara held a grudge like a vice, but when it came down to it, she cared deeply for all three of you. It seemed today though, you were her favorite, though.

While the two of them were distracted, Yuuji coyly poked your shoulder. “Sooooo… You’re bringing me, right? Besties for resties? Don’t you think I’ll be a good wingman for you?”

Of course, this immediately stopped Nobara from chastizing Megumi. She butted back in. “As if! You know nothing about romance anymore, you’re with Megumi now!”

Megumi shook his head. “You two would cause too many distractions. They’re obviously bringing me.

You let out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Just what had you gotten yourself into?

You supposed, though, that it was too late to turn back now. You suddenly felt incredibly grateful for Yuta’s patient nature.

Whoever you decided to bring, you would have to make sure they would keep you from flying off into your many what-ifs while you were with Yuta. You had to stay grounded as much as you possibly could.

Because you knew now, more than ever before, that you never wanted to leave Yuta Okkotsu behind ever again. 

✧ Start ✧ Prev ✧ Next (Coming soon!) ✧

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[smoochhyuka]

Tyun's NSFW alphabet

He is the full package.

-> Yeonjun Soobin Beomgyu Hueningkai

○o。content warning! NSFW obvie, gn!reader, public sex, bondage, orgasm controll, VERY BRIEF mentions of anal (m!receiving), switch!Tyun, unedited

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Taehyun has a burst of energy! A total chatterbox afterwards, but the very first thing he does is to clean up any bodily fluids that might have spilled at any point during ✨the do✨, since he doesn't like to be sticky. If the sex was (semi)planned, he would have prepared wet wipes to be in close proximity, if it was completely spontaneous (or maybe at an unfamiliar place), he'd try to get a towel or tissue paper. You can just stay put and he cleans you, it's his way for showing you his pure adoration, especially if the sex was on the rough side. Afterwards he will definitely cuddle you very hard and talk your ear off, maybe he'll do some push ups.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your face, just your whole face. His favorite way to kiss you is to cup your face with both of his hands, doesn't matter if the kiss is passionate or docile. Your smile is so precious to him, he'll always look out for you and your micro expressions. Obviously he also loves to watch your face contort in pleasure, it's such a turn-on.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

If he cums, he cums hard. Lots of sperm, slight twitching. It'll take a while to get there (is it weird I hc him to be circumcised?) but it's the sexiest thing to witness. The consistency, taste and opacy wary a lot, since his diet and routines change with his schedule.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has a fantasy where he's blindfolded and tied to a chair, at your total mercy. The dirty part would be were you let him sit there for hours, maybe even turn on the TV for a while and just occasionally increase the vibrations of the vibrator in his ass or stroke his cock a few times. There is NO WAY he would even mention that unless you show interest in such a thing by yourself. It kind of goes against everything he expects from intercourse with you, therefore it is not something he'd need to happen anyways.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think Taehyun mentioned once he never had a partner? Don't quote me on that. But I honestly don't think he has a lot of experience, and the first few times can be a little bit clumsy, depending on your experience as well. But he is a fast learner.

F = Favorite position

Every position that allows him to look at your face. Usually it's missionary (convenience and he loves to spoil you) but he also likes lotus position, doggy style in front of a mirror and especially cowgirl, it's usually reserved for special occasions though.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It highly depends on you, he can do either. He tends to be on the more serious side naturally, but if you like to laugh and giggle he is definitely not opposed to it and might even crack a few jokes after a while.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does groom his pubic hair, keeping it clean and short shaven, but he doesn't like to be bare. He feels more masculine with a hair downstairs and wouldn't like it if you asked him to shave.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Maybe it's because I am very vanilla and I am projecting but I think Tyuns going to be sweet and take good care of you. :( Again, if the sex is (semi) planned he will not only prepare wet wipes but also light a candle or two and spray his most used perfume on the pillows and blanket. He really likes to get you in the mood by massaging you and playing a sensual playlist he created for fucking you specifically.

J = Jack off

When he's single I don't think he jerks off a whole lot, maybe once a week, since weightlifting often time takes off the edge a young man might feel in the evenings lol. The amount per week does increase with stress though, especially if he is too busy to go to the gym.

Ever since you started to date he stopped complitely, if he's horny he's just going over to meet you. He tends to get a bad case of post nut clarity after jerking off so he keeps it minimal even on tour and usually only does it on facetime with you.

K = Kink

I see a lot of size kink with Tyun but maybe he'll also like a strong s/o? A gym buddy, someone who is at least capable of pushing him down, doesn't need to be a full head lock of course. Speaking of being held down, he is so into handcuffs and restraints, on both ends. It's the level of trust that is shared between you two that does it for him, he is sappy about that. He is giving everything of himself in that moment to you (or vise versa), there is nothing more romantic and intimate as that?

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He is definitely not an exhibionist, and prefers a controlled environment, but he still likes to be a little unconventional to spice things up. The balcony, the back of a car, someones bedroom at a party, an empty beach, the park bench during a midnight stroll... They're all valid choices for him. But his favorite place will stay a big king sized bed with lots of pillows.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you dress up for any event really, doesn't matter if someones wedding, a job interview, a night out with your friends or a date with him, he always imagines how he will fuck you in that outfit you are currently wearing.

Domesticity is also a huge turn on, in one moment you do the dishes the next he has you panting for air. Don't fold the laundry in front of him you will have sex on it and you will have to wash them again.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Might be projecting but he wouldn't do anything that demeans or humilates either one of you. No spitting or slapping the face, no demeaning insults (Maybe something along the lines of "You are being slutty today." is okay since it implies that you are indeed not a slut, but he wouldn't look at you with a straight face and call you a bitch or a slut.) and not acting like one of you is superior to the other. Sex is intimate and romantic, anything demeaning would take him straight out of the moment and make him feel unsafe and unloved.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He does tend to give since he just loves to take good care of you, but he doesn't have a preference in actuality, as long as you both get to cum anything is fine with him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It's obvious from the previous answers but he is definitely a more sensual guy, taking his sweet sweet time. He can definitely be more rough if the mood calls for it though.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You'll have a lot of oral sex with Tyun, often times you won't even have penetrative sex especially if it's supposed to be a quickie, since he tends to take a little longer to cum and just likes to be thorough with you, sex is a way to convey his love to you after all. But generally he doesn't mind them, they would just be... medium quick.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't mind taking a little bit of a risk when doing it outside (they're still semi-controlled spaces tho), but in general he likes to play it safe. He wouldn't be able to enjoy it if he needed to think of your safety.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Taehyun lasts a while. He can pull it out, cooldown a little bit and then continue on as if he wasn't almost there. He can definitely prolong his orgasm for a good few hours. Even after he already came, if you give him a moment he can get hard again, he might not cum a second time but it's definitely enough to fuck you for a while longer if that's what you wanted. Thanks to that boost of energy he is also still in to pleasure you with his mouth.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't have any and isn't all too adament on using them but he is definitely willing to if you show interest in them, especially if it is something both of you can use.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you, especially when massaging you (yes Tyun and massaging is a fantasy of mine, how could you tell). He brushes against your sweet spots, takes a little longer massaging your ass. When you are out partying he will kiss your neck and hands in a way he knows you like, keeping a hand on your thighs everytime you sit down with your friends.

In bed he also likes to not only prolong his own orgasm but also yours, sometimes stopping everytime your crys get louder or your thighs start to shake.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not very loud, more of a heavy breather. Sometimes he will whine, especially if you are in charge. Close to his orgasm he will moan cutely, he can get quite loud if you edged him for a while.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It's 2am, my creativity has wourn off. He wears boxer briefs, he has both brands and no name. He gets turned on by clothes and although likes to be fully naked for the sensuality of things, sometimes he prefers you to keep on your underwear.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

13-15cm, a satisfactory length, neither overwhelming nor underwhelming. Again I kinda hc him to be circumsized? If not, he doesn't have a lot of foreskin. He has a slight curve and his cock tends to sit stiffly upwards against his tummy rather than forward, if that makes sense. It's the same color of his skin only the head is pink. His balls are on the smaller side.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Generally not as high, he kind of adapts to you since he gets easily turned on. It's not that he always wants it though, if you want him, he gets excited. He is a simple man.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not quickly at all! He can stay up for a while, he might even get up and do some chores around the house the moment you fell asleep. He tends to stay away from doing it when it's too late for that exact reason, it's also not easy for him to get it up if he is already very tired.

[hollandorks]

haven

battinson! bruce wayne x f! reader

interlude three

Summary: After the sudden deaths of her mother and grandmother, y/n is forced to return home to Gotham…and to the man who broke her heart three years ago. Back in Bruce Wayne’s inescapable orbit, she vows to get to the bottom of her former best friend’s new cold personality. But Bruce’s secrets aren’t what she’s expecting.

a/n: I'm alive!!! I don't want to talk about how long it's been since the last chapter because it's a little bit embarrassing. Anyways, I'm back! Hopefully! So here's a brief little Bruce POV to hold you over until the next real chapter, which should hopefully only be a week or two maybe? (Also, I apologize in advance....)

Series Masterlist

word count: 1.2k

Despite everyone who was trying hard to keep her alive, y/n felt utterly alone. 

Bruce's POV

“Bruce, my dear boy, I don’t tell you often enough, but you are…so stubbornly stupid it makes me feel twice my age.” 

Bruce startled and whirled around to face Alfred. The older man was leaning casually along the work station where Bruce’s video equipment was, his cane next to him, legs crossed at the ankles. 

Bruce opened his mouth and then closed it again. 

It was noon now, and he still hadn’t been to bed. He’d been out late staking out Maverick’s again, hoping to catch a lead on Frank Gallo or anyone that could lead him to the man, when Alfred’s call had come. Security breach. Elevator. The panic had almost killed him. Alfred’s next call came in when Bruce was almost home, telling him that everyone was safe. So he had changed direction and left to clean himself up to make an appearance as Bruce instead. 

And still the fear lingered. Someone had been in his home, feet away from y/n, and he had yet to find any proof of how they had done it. 

He wouldn’t–couldn’t–sleep until he was certain she was safe. 

“What did I do this time?” Bruce finally asked. He turned back to the security footage he was pouring over. It terrified him that they could have been so close to y/n. That he could have been too late. That he could have–

He shut the thought down as quickly as it came. No use dwelling on it now. 

“What haven’t you done? You imploded the most important relationship you have–repeatedly, if we’re being honest. You keep secrets from her but toe the line so recklessly it’s going to blow up in your face. You let your emotions get the best of you. And that’s just lately. Shall I go on?” Alfred recrossed his ankles in the other direction. 

Bruce grit his teeth but said nothing. He restarted the security footage from the beginning and paused it frame by frame. A loud clack echoed around the abandoned station each time he smashed the button to go to the next frame. 

“Let’s change tactics then. How long are you going to let her live in fear before you tell her that the Batman is watching over her from inside her home?” 

Bruce’s jaw ached with the force of his clenched teeth. Still, he said nothing. First y/n had yelled at him, now Alfred. He knew his behavior was…abysmal to say the least. But he had more important things to focus on than everyone’s emotions, his own included. 

He had to find Frank Gallo, and take down the rest of the family, once and for all. When that was done, when y/n was safe, he would think about all the ways he had ruined his relationship with her. 

“Are you listening to me, Bruce?” 

“I am trying,” Bruce said with a smack of his fist against the table, “to figure out who the fuck broke into my home and threatened y/n!” His voice echoed loudly around him, setting the bats to fluttering and chittering above them. He restarted the footage once again. 

Alfred made a noise in his throat. “She hasn’t slept at all.” 

Something oily slid down Bruce’s spine. “Neither have I.” It was a deflection and they both knew it. It killed Bruce to know y/n was so scared. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it–other than find those responsible and make them pay. She wouldn’t want his comfort, wouldn’t want him to hover, so he was doing the next best thing and trying to end it. 

Alfred sighed. “All I’m saying is–” 

“I know what you’re saying.” 

“Then why do I have to keep saying it?” 

Bruce went back to ignoring the older man. Let Alfred think what he wanted. Bruce had work to do. Nothing would get better until Frank Gallo and the rest of his family and cronies were gone for good. 

What gives you the right to act like this? she’d asked, all of her anger turned towards Bruce like a roaring inferno. What gave him the right? He had admitted it to her right before that–I give too much of a shit. 

She didn’t know he was still in love with her. That he always had been. 

He’d hurt her so badly she couldn’t see what was right in front of her face–who he was, how he felt, what it was doing to him. If she would just open her eyes, she would know. 

Instead, she had yelled at him. 

He deserved it. He knew he deserved it. But walking in and seeing her hold Officer Martinez’s hand…it made him crazy. He had acted like the worst type of bastard without even thinking. It was pure instinct, the urge to protect her even from a guy like Martinez rising so strongly within him that it was almost as if he had blacked out. Like someone else had taken over his body. 

She rarely ever got mad at him. It had only happened a few times throughout their many years together. It was a sight to behold, her rage, and he had been equal measures impressed and angry both. 

“I don’t have time for this,” Bruce said after long stretch of silence. His voice was raw with exhaustion and emotion. “Either help me figure this out or go back upstairs.” 

He felt rather than saw Alfred bristle. He waited to get berated yet again, but Alfred merely pulled up the footage on another screen and got to work. 

They spent a few minutes in silence, Bruce’s eyes burning from lack of sleep, his thoughts churning. She hasn’t slept. He ached to go upstairs, to tell y/n that she was safe with him, that he would never let anything happen to her. 

But it already had, and all of it had been his fault. 

He knew without a doubt, just as he had known three years ago, that she was safest far away from him. And look what had happened already–the more she’d become entangled with him, with the Batman, the worse things got. She had spent three years in Bludhaven, far away from him, perfectly safe. And the minute she had come home to Gotham, come home to him…it had all gone to shit. Really it had gone to shit before that–when her grandmother had left the tower for the last time. 

Bruce liked to think that was his fault, too, not that he’d ever it admit it out loud. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” Alfred said into the silence. His voice was gentle, almost placating. 

“Mm.” It wasn’t working, then, Bruce thought. He already felt guilty enough. 

“I hate seeing you like this. Both of you.” Alfred sighed again. “I just think that talking about it–all of it–would help you both. It might ease the strain of…everything else going on.”

Bruce couldn’t see how it could help, only how it would make things worse. But he didn’t say that to Alfred, merely nodded and kept working. 

Two nights later, all Bruce could think about was that Alfred had been right. 

He should have told y/n the truth while he had the chance.

Next Chapter

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[literaryavenger]

Hiii, I saw you asked for one-shot suggestions and I was thinking of something domestic and fuffly, a lazy morning with them not wanting to wake up and get up, things like that.

Sorry the request wasn't good, it's the first time I've made suggestions, but I appreciate your work 💕

I wrote this so quickly that I'm surprised my fingers could keep up with my brain, lol. Thank you for the request! I always appreciate some inspiration, and thank you for reading my stories!❤️

Also keep in mind it's like 2:30 am, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I did my best to catch them all.

Mornings Like This

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of YN. Language. Nothing more, just fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.4K

Masterlist

One thing Bucky never thought he'd have was a chance at a normal life.

Before even the war, Hydra and everything that followed he didn’t think he’d be lucky enough to find a girl that loved him enough to build a life with him.

Now in the 21st century, the super soldier felt more out of place than ever.

Going from one fight after the other was exhausting, even if he was fighting with the people he came to think of as family, Tony included.

It still didn’t change the fact that he was tired, the kind of tired sleep can’t fix.

That’s why, right now, he can’t help but be grateful as he wakes up with you in his arms.

For Bucky, you’re everything. You’re his best friend, his most trusted teammate, you’re his hope, his dream, his angel sent by God himself.

You’re the person he trusts with every part of himself, he knows you’d never judge him, you always believe in him and you’re not afraid to call him out.

He can always trust you to be honest.

You’re the love of his life, his future. You’re the calm he’s been looking for his whole life. He still considers the day he met you the happiest of his life, and there’s not a day that goes by where he doesn’t remind you all of this.

Bucky opens his eyes slowly, still fighting to sleep a little longer, but as soon as he sees your face inches away from his he knows it's a losing fight.

He can’t help but smile as he watches your face in the most relaxed state, trying to commit every inch of it to memory just like he does every morning.

Today is one of those rare days where neither of you have anything to do; no training, no missions, no briefings, no outings.

A normal day where you can just be lazy like normal people do. Bucky lives for days like these, starting with one of his favorite activities: shamelessly staring at you.

"Are you watching me sleep, you little creep?" you say, not opening your eyes with a smile starting to form on your face.

"You bet your ass I am." He says proudly.

"Careful or I’ll tell Steve you used a bad word." At the sound of his laugh you can't help but open your eyes and the sight in front of you was nothing short of glorious.

Your super soldier boyfriend, shirtless, with a smile that could light up all of the stars in the sky looking at you like you hung up those stars just for him.

At this point you’ve woken up next to him more times than you can count, hundreds, maybe thousands, but this sight right in front of you never fails to knock the breath out of your lungs.

"Who’s the little creep staring now, huh?" he teases with a goofy grin.

"Can you blame me when my boyfriend is so pretty?" you see his cheeks getting pink and decide to tease him a little bit more.

"Awwe, my pretty baby’s blushing!" he groans as his face gets redder and he hides his face in the crook of your neck, while you keep cooing at him.

"Stooop." he says, his voice muffled. You’re laughing when suddenly he’s on top of you, tickling your sides.

"Say you’re sorry!" he says over and over while laughing, never relenting on his vicious attack.

"Never!" you're practically squealing at this point, tears coming down your eyes because of how much you're laughing.

"I can do this all day, doll!" and you know he could, so you finally give in.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, okay, just stop!" that seems to satisfy him as he stops tickling you but doesn't move away from on top of you.

Instead he starts peppering kisses all over your face, barely giving you enough time to catch your breath. "Bucky!" you can do nothing more than laugh, and the melodic sound is just an incentive for him to keep going.

Finally he starts slowing down, giving you one last kiss on the lips. But before he could pull away, you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you and deepening the kiss. He hummed into the kiss and after a few moments you let go of each other.

"Good morning, angel." he says while looking down at you with the sweetest smile.

"Good morning, handsome." you answer with a smile matching his.

He rolls off of you, but doesn't go very far as he pulls you basically on top of him and wraps his arms tightly around you. "Buck, I can barely breathe."

He shrugs. "You don’t need to breathe."

"Trust me, I do." you giggle while he loosen his hold on you. You feel him sight under you, so you raise your head to look him in the eye "Everything okay, baby?"

His eyes meet yours as he answers "Everything’s perfect, bunny. I wish we could stay like this forever…"

You can't help but smile at him. "Me too, honey…" but your smile falters a little when you glance at the clock on the bedside table.

"I hate to ruin the moment, but I have to get up." you try to get out of his arms, but he just holds onto you tighter, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Where are you going?" He gives you an adorable pout and you almost give up on your attempts to get up, not that they were going anywhere in any case. 

"I might’ve told Tony I’d help him test his new gadgets." you say with a sheepish smile.

"C’mon sweets, you can do that any day, just stay here with me a little longer." he almost whines, shuffling a little so you're on your sides and he buries his face in your neck, yet again.

"Buck, I promised him! I can’t just not show up." you chuckle at his almost childish behavior, glad that he feels comfortable enough around you to act like this.

"There’s no way I’m gonna let you get up to go test Tony’s death traps." His muffled words only make you laugh more.

"And what are you gonna do to keep me here, huh?" you challenge, as if you had any other choice with his tight grip on you.

He took his head away from your neck and looked at you for a few seconds before almost yelling "Hey Friday, can you let Tony know that miss YLN won’t be joining him today? Thank you." he has a victorious look on his face while the AI said "Certainly, Sergeant Barnes."

You groan and this time it's your turn to bury your face in his chest. "I knew teaching you to use Friday would come back to bite me in the ass." you can feel his laughter from deep in his chest and the kiss he plants on the top of your head makes you smile against his skin. 

"C’mon angel, let me see your pretty face." you can feel your face heating up but you look at him nonetheless. "There she is."

Bucky kisses the tip of your nose and laughs when you make a face at him that's supposed to be annoyed but he thinks it's just adorable.

"I love you, doll" He says after a few moments of silence. "I know I tell you everyday, but I can’t help it. I’m the luckiest man in the world to get to hold you and kiss you and love you and I’ll never stop doing it for as long as you allow me to."

You're about to cry, so, obviously, you have to ruin the moment "Fine! I’ll stay in bed with you, just stop being so damn sweet." he laughs at your joke, but you're melting inside so you decide to give him a serious answer.

You put both your hands on his cheeks and kiss him. "I love you too, Bucky. I appreciate everything you do for me and I’ll never not want you in my life. You’re the love of my life, my soulmate. You’re it for me. I’m sorry but you’re stuck with me."

He smiles and kisses you again. "I can live with that."

You're about to kiss him again when suddenly there's a loud knock at the door. You and Bucky look at each other, confused, until you hear a voice yelling behind the door.

"YN YLN WHAT DOES IT MEAN YOU’RE NOT GONNA HELP ME?! YOU PROMISED!" Tony keeps whining through the door as Bucky groans and throws his head back into the pillow in frustration, while you laugh at both the men’s antics.

You give Bucky a quick kiss before getting up. "This is your fault, you know." you tell him as you move towards the door, but before you can answer you get hit by a pillow on your back.

You look back to see Bucky laughing his ass off at the shocked look on your face.

God, he’s lucky you love him.

[alcoholfreenayeon]

your jealous tzuyu thoughts sound amazing... how about describing them more? i need more dom!tzuyu on tumblr!

A/N: You are so right about that🤭also I’m sorry it took so long to finish this😭💔

Aching for more…

Tzuyu x fem!reader

CW: suggestive, mild smut

You were feeling a bit tired of repeatedly introducing yourself to the people but since there were so many people here who wanted to meet your girlfriend you had to bear it. It was her moment after all. An hour later, the crowd had spread into little groups and you had your girl to yourself for a few minutes. Like always, you teased with a witty comment before looking at her with a proud smile. The two of you were chatting happily when Tzuyu was called and you were left all alone.

You sigh in resignation accepting that you wouldn’t have Tzuyu until you both went home. As you take out your phone, you saw someone approaching you through your peripheral vision. However you paid them no attention until they started to introduce themselves. Looking up, you saw that it was a pretty girl, she looked somewhat familiar.

“Hey Y/n, you look really good tonight”, she complimented.

You politely thank her with a smile, she’s sweet, you think to yourself.

“I’m surprised someone like you is alone though, I’m sure we can have fun together. I tried some of the food and it’s really good, wanna grab something?”, she continues.

You feel a bit skeptical as it felt like she was suggesting something while intending for something else. Nevertheless, you thought it would seem a bit rude, like it was just trying out some of the food, right? You decided to go against your gut and followed her. She led you to the snack bar and handed you a plate of rolls.

“So, how come you are alone here?”, She asked again.

“Uh, I am actually here with Tzuyu”, you clarify tentatively.

“Wow, really?”, something about her tone changed but you couldn’t tell what exactly, “If I were her, I would keep a pretty one like you at my side at all times you know”, she says and smiles suggestively.

“Oh…uh…well, I-”, you stammer as you didn’t expect her to be so straightforward.

“Come on, you know it’s true. Why don’t you let me…entertain you till she comes back…”, she smirks and puts a finger on your cheek.

Before you could reply, a hand grasps your shoulder from behind, “There you are Y/N, I was looking for you”, Tzuyu says with a forced polite smile.

“Oh, Tzuyu, I can-”, You panic, realizing how the whole thing must have looked to her.

“It’s alright, that’s just how she tries to make friends”, Tzuyu says politely but her tone sounds hostile. "Its about time we leave anyway, its getting late."

You gulped as Tzuyu grabbed your hand tightly and led you out. “We are going home now”, she said sternly.

The drive back was in complete silence. You didn’t know whether you should explain the whole thing to her or not. It seemed like the girl and Tzuyu knew each other but didn’t like each other at all. As you both enter your home, Tzuyu suddenly grabs you by your shoulder and turns you around, so you face her and stares at you intensely for a brief moment before just as suddenly she begins to kiss you aggressively. A few seconds later, she pulls away and pushes against the wall, locking both your arms above your head with her hand and looks at you sternly.

D-did she just push you against the wall??!! "T-Tzuyu, what-", You squeaked but she cut you off by covering your mouth with her hand.

Y/n, you aren’t allowed to talk right now. I still can’t believe you took so long to tell her off. That really upset me you know. Don’t you know that you only belong to me. “She spoke with anger, no, it was more like frustration.” Now I am angry and now you are responsible for what I’m going to do.

She then proceeds to turn you around and push you against the wall again, grabbing your hair and pulling your head back, kissing you aggressively while groping your chest with her free hand.

You couldn’t do anything but let Tzuyu do as she wanted as she had completely pinned you. You were feeling a bit guilty because you didn’t mean to upset Tzuyu at all, you were just trying not to cause a scene. You wanted to explain to her what happened from your perspective, but you also didn’t want to stop her kissing you. Especially with the unexpected aggressiveness and possessiveness she was showing, something about it felt…right. Like you wanted Tzuyu to do as she liked while you were completely helpless.

As your thoughts were processing what was going on, Tzuyu finally stopped kissing you and only then did you realize as you were huffing how out of breath you were. But Tzuyu wasn’t done yet, lifting your face so you could look into her eyes, “You look so pretty…...”, her hand gripping your chin slightly tighter while she pulled back your hair harder as well.

For some reason, you began to blush really hard, surprising yourself, you hadn’t been shy or nervous or anything in almost forever around Tzuyu. So why are you feeling like this now. Was it-

Your thoughts were interrupted as Tzuyu suddenly leaned in again, causing you to exhale sharply, and began to make out with you once more. A whole minute passed, and she showed no signs of stopping. Almost another minute now and you were out of breath now, “T-tzuyu”, you weakly moaned, “C-can’t breathe….”.

Hearing that, Tzuyu reluctantly pulled away slightly, both of you panting hard now, looking at each other with primal desire. You were feeling very hot, pressing your legs together tightly and being looked at like that by Tzuyu didn’t help. She started to lean in again and you eagerly closed your eyes, impatiently waiting to feel her lips again but were instead a bit startled when Tzuyu whispered in your ear, “Let’s go to our bed”.

You made your way there somewhat hastily, your thoughts hazy. Tzuyu followed you, seeming completely relaxed and stopped at the doorway, leaning against the frame, smirking as she watched you try to undress quickly.

“Stop.”, she practically ordered you causing to be startled as Tzuyu speaking with such authority was still surprising to you. “Just lay down”, she commands which you obviously follow. Unsure of what to expect from this new Tzuyu but nevertheless you are still quite excited in anticipation of what she’ll do to you next. She then finally enters the room, looking at you like prey, her eyes burning with desire.

She walks gracefully up to the end of the end and then in one smooth swoop, leans over you, placing her hand on your chest and slowly moving up onto your throat where just for a moment her grip tightens before she stops it at your jaw. She examines your face for a moment before making you look at her, “Y/N, you’ll be good to me, won’t you?”, she asks while gritting her teeth.

You nod eagerly but Tzuyu stops you. “Don’t just nod, say it out loud. That you’ll be a good girl for me.”, she orders, squeezing your cheeks.

You couldn’t believe Tzuyu, YOUR Tzuyu was going to make you say that out loud but right now you felt completely vulnerable to her, she could do whatever she wanted to you, and you would accept. You were feeling like doing anything for her. “I…. I am going to be good for you, I promise.”, you promise her. “Good girl”, she replies approving of your obedience. “Now we can continue”.

She then goes on to strip you, stopping to play with your boobs. Groping, squeezing and even lightly slapping them as she pleased. You already really turned on and all this was now really starting to drive you insane. You needed her NOW, but she was happy to take her own sweet time, practically torturing you. You wanted to scream in frustration but with the way Tzuyu was behaving right now that might not be the wisest idea to get your release, so you keep yourself quiet for now.

Tzuyu smirked to herself, proud of the effect she was having on you. She was beginning to get used to ordering you around, it was really fun. Hearing those little whines and whimpers from you as she explored your body. The way you were desperately spreading your legs each time her hands went down low. How cute of you to be so eager.

After what seemed like eternity, she finally moved her hands down to your pelvis, tracing her fingers softly over it causing shivers down your legs. When she finally touched your entrance you gasped, her fingers feeling so cold. Tzuyu rubbed her fingers in a circular motion, smirking, “Wow Y/n, you are so wet. You have been wanting this really bad, haven’t you?”, she whispered while nibbling on your earlobe. “Don’t worry I am going to take care of you”.

You could only moan in reply. If this was just the start of the main event, then all that suffering was worth it because she barely touched you and you already feel like you are in heaven. After feeling you for a few moments she finally put her fingers in you earning another gasp from you. Going knuckle deep with 2 fingers, Tzuyu began to work her magic and you felt like you could cum within moments. As if that was not enough, Tzuyu used her free hand to play with your chest.

“oh, your moans are so cute”, Tzuyu whispers, really trying hard now and it pays off almost instantly. You feel like all the air in your body has been sucked out, your eyes start to roll up, your hips begin to buckle, and you feel like your stomach is tightening and that’s when it all stops. You softly gasp, expecting a massive wave of shocking pleasure but nothing happens. In fact, your pleasure seems to be fading rapidly and then out of nowhere Tzuyu takes her fingers out of you. You feel really confused, like what is happening….

Tzuyu smiles prettily at you, “that was really fun Y/N”, and then kisses you with some passion but it feels one sided since you don’t kiss her back. Still clueless to what is happening. “T-tzuyu? I…I didn’t cum…”, you manage to say weakly.

She smiles, a hint of mischief in her smile, “Yes, I know that Y/N”.

“But…….”, you try to question.

“Mmmhhmm” She chides in, “Consider this as punishment for letting someone else flirt with you for so long.”, She then cups your cheek for a moment and gets up. “But if you are good tomorrow, I will make it up to you”, she adds before leaving you there, messy, horny, and unsatisfied.

You lay there, taking a minute to process Tzuyu just completely edged you and left. Gritting your teeth in frustration, you cover yourself under a blanket and contemplate, wow she REALLY just left you hanging for something that was NOT your fault. And she wants me to be her good girl, you scoff to yourself. I am going to be the biggest brat to her and then I will see how long Miss Iamsuddenlysomommy tolerates that then.

“You can’t even make a girl cum”

“I don’t think your mouth can do what it claims to talk about”

“You are just pretending to be so dominant right”

You smile to yourself as you think of all the things to say that will just piss Tzuyu off enough to come back for seconds.