#n e ways back to part one
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#lovely wonderful hello and welcome back to necalli fuckin yapping in the tags bc im Annoyed™#on today's menu: shitty coworker update and i can't find the shit i need#second part first: i somehow managed to lose both my glasses and my wallet in the span of three days and i have searched everywhere i—#couldve possibly put/thrown/tossed them and nope they just arent there so ig i can't see long distances or pay w a card for anything#n e ways back to part one#my shitty coworker walked out today and took her shit from her locker#thats a win right? well no not right now at least#bc she mustve complained to HR or smth bc my manager left for the day then had to come back for another four hours dealing w shit for HR#and bc shes a Royal Bitch™ when she took everything from her locker she literally only left her fuckin trash#she was so fuckin messy and her locker reflected that but she literally took her actual stuff and then left her literal trash in it#that bitch is so fucking petty and conniving that she took her training paperwork with her too#which was basically evidence that we trained her on literally everything and she just literally didnt want to or know how to do her job#n e ways#yeah so im uber annoyed rn lol
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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the degenerates: out of context
#td:ex#rip to the dnd story i started & never finished.......#hi. i'm cleaning out my drafts. these have been sitting around collecting dust for like. a year. maybe two. idek#yk i want so badly to be a storyteller on here but like.#story posts are just not for me man.#i can do 10+ photos for an edit no problem but for a story post?#absolutely not. it's just exhausting to me. i don't know why#i do actually really like this story though & it is part of the canonverse so i'll still write it#i just probably won't post it? idk i might do stuff with the characters on here from time to time#uhh fun lil spoiler for the few who were invested in this story way back when#they all die at the end#all of them#that's how the campaign ends#i've had the ending planned since before i even started writing the story#man. maybe i should get back into writing it. ngl monster boyz has kinda taken over#both my blog & my brain lol#n e way i have an edit q'd for wednesday. it's from one of my mini AUs#ok bye#rainyrambles
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desire to try out rin + desire to do a jp version of warmachine someday = ?? (just a short test)
#kagamine rin#ihnmaims#ihnmaims am#allied mastercomputer#i have no mouth and i must scream#music#my art#man power can BELT that shit. but also ooough piercing voice#n e ways if I had to do a jp version of one of my english songs it would be warmachine (in part because I want to go back and improve stuff)
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When Diluc gives his heart to someone and genuinely enters a relationship with them, that's it–that's it for him. There will never be any other that could hope to replace them, whether they leave him or they pass on.
#hc; diluc#//He might have his fair share of little crushes here & there; rarer still a one night stand or two (hasn't rlly done that since Snezhnaya)#//But once he's actually in a proper relationship with someone; and he ONLY will do so after a certain level of trust/bond has been forged#//Bc once that is settled...he's truly ALL theirs. His heart settles on them; no wavering nor hesitation#//Forever; until he would draw his final breath#//Doesnt matter if their breakup was the messiest fucken shit or amicable; if they died in the most heartrending way or at peace in his arm#//He will love & adore them even still; no matter what sorts of emotional turmoil the feelings put him through/he tries to hide them behind#///They will HAUNT him; unless he may have them again or he meets an untimely demise and joins them#//There are some cases where he will try to pursue them again; but those are very few and far in between#//Anywho; guess who watched H.B aGAIN#//And the fact that some owls are monogamous for life is a big inspo too nkjgnygkj#//Bro reads abt his family's special birds and was like BET#//I CAN DO THAT TOO#//Nah; I'm kidding#//He just takes love VERY seriously. Extremely so. He saw his father pining for his mother to the end of his days#//And thought to himself THAT is how much love I want to have for someone. THAT is the level of loyalty and affection I ought to hold#//It would take an extremely special case for him to waver on this fact; for him to be able to move on from that previous person#//It's exactly WHY it takes so much trust and rapport between them for him to decide to let himself fully fall for someone#//Bc he knows he will NOT get over them so easily; they hold his heart so precariously in their hands#//He would never truly move to retaliate on them if they broke his heart though. Bc even hurt; he would NEVER want to hurt them in turn#//But yeah; bro would take it SO hard. Esp if he sees them move on too quickly for his taste#//Would carry on his day by day; but BOY would he be aching inside. BOY would his eyes ligner and follow where they'd go#//BOY OH BOY would their name grace his lips;like a silent prayer for their wellbeing; a helpless wish for them to have never left his side#//Bro would PI N E; and pin HARD. Harder than he did BEFORE they got together#//Worst part is he wouldn't be as cautious in letting them back in as he ought to be. He might act guarded; but those are Cardboard defense#//He may be sterner and more stoic than everyone who knew him growing up saw him as; but he is still the softhearted loving boy he was then
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hello everyone! now that team picking is out i wanted to say that i am participating in artfight for the first time this year on team werewolves! (its the color blue. i love the color blue.)
you can find my profile here! https://artfight.net/~crescentfool
#lizzy speaks#lizzy does art#<- sort of! because the art on the left is new LOL#im very excited though! i've wanted a chance to draw more splatoon related stuff and i think art fight would be a great way to-#discover other peoples ocs. i mostly just want the additional practice idrc if i dont get attacked back or w/e#i feel kinda bad bc i wanted to focus on making stickers but then artfight came up so.. im shifting my goals 4 now lol#after artfight though.. nothing can stop me#art is a bit weird for me rn just because i've gotten such a huge surge of motivation back at the start of this month-#but at the same time there's a lot of projects and things i want to do that im like... uh how do One Commit#so im trying my best to take it one thing at a time!!! and i hope you all who are doing art stuff feel at peace with your process#also i feel like this should go w/o saying but i am not guaranteed to attack back but yknow#in my head im gonna do So Many Cool things for artfight but also a part of me knows i might just take a break to draw fan art n thats fine!#anyway bye i cant believe we're halfway through the year! can you believe it? yeah! me neither! explosion!
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Ajdhajjsjabdjabsajbd
#nah I’m actually not even okay this fic is getting so serious#I don’t usually write angst but like#there’s so much to explore with it honestly#and I’m writing a scene where jin Ling basically talks to Sihua like he’s talking to his dad and it’s jUST#b r e a k i n g me a bit lmaoo JUST A BIT#just a goddamn huge ass heart shattering bit akdjakjdakjd#ooooof this is gonna be really different from what I usually write y’all BUT#I’m excited I’m having a TON of fun fleshing this all out#it’s a lot more mature for sure#except for the parts with Jingyi bc he’s still a fucking gremlin even as a sect leader LOL#tho he does lovingly tear down Jin Ling’s ego in one of the scenes and it’s pretty lit ngl#even JL appreciates it 💀#apple babble 🍎#fic musings#sorry but I’m having SO MANY THOUGHTS just had to scream into the void a little#also meant suihua I’m not going all the way back to correct it LMAO
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*When you sent a couple tumblr folks into a feral frenzy cause of an AU you have but you're in the middle of writing for a diffrent AU post*
Me:...idk if I should be extreamly proud or consernd
#lmao#n e ways#ima finish this one crossover post#then I'll come back and finish the second part of that one post#you shall be feed#its just im my drafts at moment#also#super glad you are enjoying my spidy AU#:)
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I know there's a common thing of "christians are christians because they haven't actually read the bible" but I actually grew up being told to read the entire bible once a year once I learned to read. I even had a NIV kids' one with a checklist that had you read a certain amount per day. I only ever read my daily amount when forced to by my youth group or family members that did read the whole thing once per year and even then I usually faked it until they left me alone
#and yes my family did believe the conspiracy that NIV bibles were deleting verses since they knew kids would read it over KJV#and they'd grow up reading said bible without learning all of Jesus's miracles or something#turns out#said verses were not missing but put into footnotes since they might not have actually been in the original writings#a lot of my older family dropped out of school p early#so the bible was one of the few things they could readily get and read#and they knew someone would teach them if they couldn't read a part of it#my grandfather was the first to graduate highschool and he was the 13th child out of 14 who lived#my father was first to graduate from college#my mom was the first to finish medical school#so I got super lucky to have family around me that valued education like that#tho they started to get very extreme after that and pushed me towards more and more academic things until I was ready to yeet myself#so reading the bible had a special place in my family both from the fundamentalist standpoint and from an academic standpoint#they were poor black folk in rural NJ GA and FL so#not much to do but have babies do manual labor and go to church especially back then#for a while my family's churches were even anti-ipad bibles#until they learned they could have the audio playing so the older folks that couldn't read all that well#either from lack of education or declining eye site#n e ways I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings about intersectionality and bible reading#I did attempt it once but got super uncomfortable reading about sex and stuff like that in middle school#and started having terrible intrusive thoughts so I stopped#I also recognize that it's a Jewish tradition to read the entire Torah once a year I believe#And it resets either during Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah#my jewish found fam can correct me on that later#but I get wanting to read your holy book to make sure you know what's up and refresh your knowledge#idk maybe I'll write an undergraduate thesis about how the bible comforts black americans as a concept rather than a religion#ex christian#religious trauma
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also!!!!!! there’s finally a way to read this guy’s name!!!!! vol 4 be w i n n i n g
#it looks like it’s read as ‘rippei’? i needa check a physical copy thoughhhh the ebook version is kinda blurred~~~~~~#either that or my eyes just suck. or maybe it’s both~?#smcnjsjxhs i’m at the airport with half an hour till boarding and im trying to stay awake in a really comfy chair t h i s is su f f e r in g#speaking of the physical vol though… i gotta come up with a way to buy it without my family tagging along for the purchase </3#i fear my reputation will n e v e r recover if they find out that i’m reallyyyyyy into moderately obscure 2d idols#anyways!!!! remind me to change my previous tl of this guy’s name when i get back in a week!!!!#i was close with my guess though (ryuhei) at least i got the fact that it’s his first name right!!!!!#it seems like it could’ve been read as both a first name and a last name mans…#in any case!!!!!!!! ngl but i really like how close the idols are to their managers in terakado agency~ they’re on first name terms and all!#wait. no. literally. both mona and minami use their real names as their stage names… and they call their managers by their first names too…#moebius could n e v e r lmfaooooooooooooooooooo#though ig ft4 would win the ‘performers who are closest to their manager’ competition if there ever were to be one#lxl would come in last for sure (they treat uchida purely professionally and all… and bully hiyoko (rip). so….)#then frusu would be next bc haseo only cares about miyu and no one else (rip asuna)#ig the terakado idols would be tied; since they both seem equally close to their respective managers……..#and ofc ft4 is number one!!!!!!! bc said manager is actually part of their performing squad of bfs lmao#anyways wow ok my thoughts got ahead of me and there’s now 15 mins till boarding. stonks.
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YEAH NO TONBI GOT HANDS.......... my timing on suggesting it may be Questionable but I AM very glad it holds up as a movie :] hopefully the interview and We Make Antiques are fun diversions! But also take it easy <3 can confirm Nakai is Pretty Moe in both though <3 And I WILL harass you about Masato's VA next week...
TBF YOU SUGGESTED IT A WEEK OR SO AGO twas on me for taking a while to get to it... nevertheless i did really enjoy it thank you..... AND YAYA IM SO STOKED TO WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW AND WMA2 THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN ☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆!!!!!
esp cant wait to hear about masato's VA in the future.. 👁️👁️
#snap chats#LISTEN i think we all just have to accept at this point any time there's a story about a doting father or fts a doting father#i will cry like its unavoidable. so whether my life's falling apart that week or everything's fine#There Will Be No Difference In How Much I Cry ☠️☠️ im just built terribly what can i say it makes for GREAT inspo tho#tonbi WAS real cute tho and i did enjoy it a lot Because yasu did remind me of my dad a lot#very lucky to say my dad's never slapped me or thrown water in my face tho so LMAO BUT FOR THE MOST PART Yeah...#in a way it weirdly felt like watching an AU of my life. if i may sound insane. listen i already said the kid's name had me twisted LISTEN#fr tho cause ive always wondered what my life wouldve been like if i was able to be raised by my dad instead#im gonna make myself start crying if i get too deep into it LMAO NEEDLESS TO SAY i really enjoyed the movie :)#EVIL that they really did let us see akira get married and now yasu gotta give a speech and If He IS Anything Like My Dad#i know damn well he was winging it and didn't prep a script and I Will Start Crying if i think back to my sis's wedding#STILL MAD THAT THE ONE TIME I HAD TO PISS WAS RIGHT BEFORE HIS SPEECH BUT WHATEVER MOVING ON#said i wasnt gonna talk bout the movie/my dad anymore lest i make myself UPSET yet here i am... always saying more when i shouldnt ☠️#but yeah... i have ONE (1) more comm this week Lest Someone Wants To Snipe A Spot IDK#SO im gon do that :]#and im kinda tired rn... but the uncertainty of how much time i have nowadays urges me to work on it a bit#i dont THINK it should take super long but it IS a full-rendered piece so.... it will take time needless to say#n e way not to sound insane but nakai is An Endearing Chap. is the most sane way i can put it#i mentioned it durin a stream but somethin bout him just naturally exudes cute... idk... im delirious probably ANYWAY BYE FR NOW#CANNOT WAIT for next week to be harassed 🥰🥰
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keeping myself busy by posting wip screenshots
#not counting this as an art post bc i'm gonna start rambling right now:#shaking crying the face album is dropping soon#set me free was already amazing like he did a full 180 and it was so cool! cannot wait for like crazy to premiere#n e ways. this past week has been. a rollercoaster#we had a mini crisis ordering zines but it's solved ish now. there is a plan in place#hmm my project is almost done.. just gotta finish asap so i can get it in for printing#though the organizers didn't email me back on a deadline or whether my specs are fine so i'm :// definitely not annoyed at that#uhh yeah and the mv from last week that dropped! my embarrassing story moment-#i was on the elevator w/ one other person and they saw my b.t21 hand sanitizer cover on my lanyard and pointed it out#and i was like yooo did you see the set me free mv#and they were like yeah the concept was so different from their usual style?? he did amazing#and i was like yeeaaAAHH except the last part kinda got louder?? and we were off the elevator by that point??#i swear i saw ppl turn to look at me auughghg but listen. i barely talk to a.rmys irl even though they're Everywhere#they seemed cool unfortunately i didn't get their name and idt ima see them again anytime soon LOL#it was a nice interaction in the middle of a busy week though#and 2 days ago i had a call w/ my friend which was really nice!! we ended up talking for 2h#we were talking about haha. spiraling in the abyss and weapon banners that would be worth my rolls among other topics#and then at one point he said smth like 'oh i couldn't talk about xyz with anyone so i went to you' and i was like. oh...#on one hand i was touched and on the other hand it was a reminder that i need to be more aware of my context when i talk lol#that's what my main blog is for! me yelling in the tags to the void#speaking of reining it in i was drawing for hours and had to drag myself away from this wip bc too much screentime!!#working through the ugly emotions by drawing a pretty kvh- exhibit a#spent at least 30min drawing lines that did not look good and now it's one of those wips that feels like i'm not skilled enough to finish#but we're going through with it bc i love the challenge and the image in my head is really nice so!!#this is also me being spiteful and proving myself wrong- that i can draw him well and that i don't need to compare myself to others#tmi of the day is i was looping j.iyuu no tsubasa as i was drawing this. and the song has. the complete opposite vibes hahaha#oh would you look at that the mv dropped as i was typing this up! time to stream the album for the next 48h#i will go focus on that now!! this is all i got chief#note
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little pieces of x reader wips that aren't really x readers but could be if you'd like them to be
angsty one that i probably wont ever post in full but will of course be sharing little pieces of it as i continue to edit
it's a game of emotional support chicken, where one of you has to decide who's gonna back out of wrapping your arms around the other first. you wouldn't know it but corey pouts when you shut your eyes, letting all your tears dribble down your chin.
bittersweet one thats mostly bitter where reader & corey are slightly codependent biffles in colorado
you nod, because corey does look like he's in a movie. he's in a blazer you saw him dig out of a thrift store’s dumpster, pants that don't fit him, and a shirt you remember him using as a pillow once. if this was all a movie, it'd be raining by now, and corey would look into your eyes with soppy blues and a pink nose. he'd be raising his fist in the air, marching to the dated soundtrack of his newfound identity, back turned to you, chin-first into the hustle and bustle of glorious iowa. as if either of you could point to it on a map. as if you wouldn't choose to sneak onto that bus with him, somehow, through the power of movie magic and sheer zest for adventure. if this was just a shitty john hughes flick, and not your best friend starting his life over- without you- you'd fast forward to ten years in the future where your lives just so happen to align again. probably.
#yuck.txt#looking back on the second one he most certainly would be able to point to it on a map. reader? probably not </3#i wanted to keep this locked in the bitter parts and have it be implied that reader n cobalt never see each other again#then i was like ouuhghuhh what if reader finds their way to a iowa era slipknot show and runs into him during one of his moods...#then i facking forgot. but i would like to do it if the first bit bummed me out too much#then again if it bummed out many people i would leave it like that 😈 muehehehe#also yall i cannot write romo/sexual x readers of corey as a guy i am sooo sorry#i really Really did try bc i figured well if i can write disasterbaiter then regular cmft? no problem E Z P Z#it was not E Z or P Z i started shaking and had to turn off my phone.#shoutout to the x readers who are true to 'canon' i gotta stick to my lady#which is so weird cuz i can read ??? x readers of him ??? that are ig romo or raunchy ??? cuz really i know the reader aint me#im just putting an oc in my mind in the position of the reader at that point#but damn. damn </3 i really tried. now yall get queer platonic angst. how do u like them apples#x reader
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The Past 💛 Atlas
I return to the table and set the drink down in front of Asher. He takes a sip and smiles, “Much better, thank you.”
“No problem,” I reply, sliding onto my stool. I try to lift my feet back onto the footrest, but something is off. I glance down curiously. Are our stools closer together than they were before? Subtle, I smile to myself, though the act doesn’t completely surprise me. The energy has shifted between us since we hung out that day in his living room. While it’s true that we haven’t had a chance to really chat much since then, there have been moments when we occupy the same space, when we have the opportunity to be close. He’ll stand next to me in our morning meetings, near enough that if I shift my weight, I can rest my arm against his, so I do. My body instantly relaxes when we’re touching. Sometimes I don’t even realize how much tension I’m carrying until I lean against him and feel it release.
I’d assumed I was probably imagining things, that none of it was intentional on his part. He really is a very physical person by nature, and doesn’t have much of a personal bubble, so it seemed reasonable that I was reading into it too much. But now with the stools, I think maybe it was intentional all along.
I suppose now I have to decide whether to scoot away or stay where I’m at, not that I have to think about it too hard, more just an observation really. Without a word, I move my foot to the footrest on the side of Asher’s stool since it no longer fits on my own.
Realizing that I now have two drinks to finish instead of one, I take a large gulp of my beer, taking a moment to appreciate the warmth in my belly before stealing a glance at Ash who’s gone surprisingly quiet while I chase my own random string of thoughts.
He’s leaning forward on the table, propped up on one hand with the other wrapped around his drink, watching me.
“What?” I ask, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Nothing. You’re cute.”
Normally, a direct compliment like that would embarrass me, but with my anxiety slightly dampened under the weight of the alcohol, I feel relaxed, and I lean forward, matching his posture. My eyes drift down to the birthmark that starts at his jaw and trails down the side of his neck, disappearing into the black of his hoodie. I allow myself a moment to imagine what it would be like to kiss him there. To breathe him in and feel his pulse quicken beneath my lips.
I glance away briefly in an attempt to stop myself before my mind wanders too far in that direction. When I look back at him, the corner of his mouth is turned up into a half-smile that has now become familiar, and the second our eyes meet, he winks at me, immediately breaking my demeanor and causing my cheeks to burn. I laugh and sit up to finish my beer before swapping the glasses in front of me and starting on the one I stole from him earlier.
“That’s never gonna get old, y’know,” he takes a sip of his whiskey and then leans into me, “Okay, so, I’m curious.”
“About what?”
“You actually came out for a drink – which, they all told me you wouldn’t, by the way – but you walked right past everyone and sat back here in the corner. Is it because you secretly hate them all? Or did you just want me all to yourself?”
I can’t help but smile at that last bit, but I sidestep it and answer with a shrug, “Ah, no, they’re all fine. I just don’t like big groups. I get agitated when there are lots of conversations going on at once, and it gets worse when everyone is drinking and loud. It’s why I usually don’t go out with everyone.”
“I see. So, why’d you come out today?”
“Because you asked me to.”
“Aha, you did want me all to yourself!”
“Well, I wouldn’t word it that way. It sounds so… possessive. But, yeah, I guess I did.”
“Well, you’ve got me, so tell me something.”
“Tell you what?”
“Anything. Tell me something about you that I don’t know yet. Something that would surprise me.”
Oh god, he’s really putting me on the spot now, isn’t he? I buy myself some time by taking a drink of my beer and then settle on what feels like the easiest. “Alright, um, I like to rock climb.”
“Ahh, that explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“How you’re that fit when you spend all day sitting at a desk. I was starting to wonder if you live at the gym on eighty-third.”
“Well, I kind of do. I’m at the gym five days a week, and in the mountains every other weekend. I’m training to climb Mt. Komorebi.”
“You are?!”
“Yeah.”
“Like the actual mountain. You’re just gonna climb it.”
“Yes,” I laugh, “I’m going to climb it.”
“With who?”
“Um, my sister and her boyfriend. And Kiyoshi, he’s done it before, so he’s leading us.”
“Well, shit,” he takes a sip of his drink, shaking his head as if he still doesn’t quite believe it, “Okay, yeah, you surprised me.”
“Your turn then.”
“I’m gonna need another drink first. You want one?”
Since I’m training, I’m supposed to keep alcohol consumption to a minimum, but now that I have a buzz, I’m feeling far more relaxed and cheerful than usual, and I want to hold on to this feeling a little longer, so I tell him, “Sure, just one more,” a sentence I’ll likely repeat multiple times tonight if past experience has taught me anything.
While Ash goes up to the bar to get us another round of drinks, I notice that the group of our co-workers is getting up to leave. I can only imagine what they must be thinking or saying about us right now. I couldn’t care less, though. Let them say what they want. A couple of them look over and wave goodbye, so I raise my hand and give a small wave in return.
Ash comes back with our drinks and says goodbye to a few of them before sitting down. Once they’re out of earshot, he nudges my arm and says quietly, “Most of them are intimidated by you, y’know.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Probably because you’re really good at what you do. And you just sit back there all brilliant and serious all the time.”
“But you don’t think I’m intimidating?”
“Nah, I think you’re sweet.”
I give him a small smile, noticing the compliments that have started to pile up. Oddly enough, they feel sincere, and I’m not quite sure what to do with that, but, thanks to the alcohol, the filter between my thoughts and my words has started to dissolve and I say, “I see. So, I’m cute and fit and brilliant and sweet?”
He chuckles softly, looking embarrassed, “Yeah. Yeah, you are. And, as long as we’re keeping track, you’re funny too. Sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” I laugh quietly, more to myself than anything as I remember that first moment we met. And then I look down, down to where I feel his hand come to rest on my leg, the heat of it warming my thigh.
“Is that okay?” He asks, “Do you want me to move my hand?”
I look up into his eyes and shake my head slightly, “No. No, it’s okay.” I lick my lips and watch his eyes flick down to my mouth and back up again, and for a brief moment I think he’s going to lean in and kiss me. Or maybe not. Maybe I imagined it. Or maybe he got nervous and changed his mind. I’m not sure. But, instead, he reaches over and takes a sip of his drink.
As I watch him, it occurs to me that he’s cleverly kept the conversation focused on me the whole time, so I place my hand on top of his, as if to reiterate that I don’t want him to move it, and say, “So, you never told me.”
Looking confused, he asks, “Told you what?”
“Something about you that I don’t know.”
“Oh, that,” he grins up at me, “I won’t be able to top climbing a mountain.”
“That’s okay, it’s not a competition,” I assure him, “It doesn’t have to be anything big or surprising. I just want to learn something new about you.”
His grin stretches wider, reaching his eyes. He pulls the corner of his lip between his teeth, chewing on it as he considers his answer, and I run my thumb over the back of his hand while I wait patiently. Finally, he takes a breath, having made a decision, “Okay. I have an idea for a video game, and I’ve been working on it for the last, I don’t know, three or four years. Storyboarding it and sketching it out, the world, characters, environment, everything.”
“Really?” I ask, intrigued, “Can I see it?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“The thing is, I’m an artist, not a developer. The mechanics and the code, I basically only know enough to make a real mess of things.”
“What about Lex?”
“Yeah, she’s good. But you’re better.”
“Are you asking me to code your game?”
“Only if you want to. If you don’t, that’s okay. But, I don’t know, it could be fun.”
“Well, I can’t agree without knowing anything about it. For all I know, your idea is shit.”
He laughs at that, nodding, “Fair enough. It probably is.” He takes a moment to finish his drink, crunching down on a piece of ice, and then turns back to me, “Okay, long version or short version?”
It’s getting late, but I have no intention of ending the night anytime soon, so I say, “Long version.”
“Good. There is no short version,” he admits, his face is already lighting up the way it does when he talks about things he loves, making me all the more excited to hear this idea of his. “So, when I was in college—”
“Where?” I ask, cutting him off already.
“Oh, um, the Brindleton Bay School of Design.”
“Nice. Okay, sorry, go on.”
“Right, so I was studying architecture for a bit because it was a weak area of mine, and it’s good knowledge to have because you never know what you’re going to be asked to create in gaming, y’know.”
“Is that what you always wanted to do, be a game artist?”
“Not always. When I was younger, I wanted to write graphic novels.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I only ever finished one, though. And once I finished it, I never really got the same inspiration to write another, and then I started getting into digital art and, like, 3D modeling and stuff.”
“Do you still have it? The one you finished?”
“Of course. It’s locked away at my parents’ house.”
“Can I read it sometime?”
“No,” he shakes his head, “it’s, um, too personal. I like you, but I don’t know you that well yet.”
“Fair enough. Anyway, sorry again, you were studying architecture.”
“Yeah, and I got really into it, like obsessed.”
“Like the aspens?”
“Oh, so much more than the aspens. There’s just so much, y’know. It made me want to create these whole worlds that are set in different places and in different time periods, right. And then I wanted to bring them all together somehow, so I got this idea for a video game where you have this character who travels through time in their dreams, to each of these worlds, and each one is like a level with its own story and objective, and they’re each like a piece of the puzzle of the overarching story of this character’s life. And, like, the world they visit in their dreams each night would be determined by the choices made during their waking hours, right, so the story itself can change depending on how you play. And I know it’s a lot, but I know I can design it, I’ll just never be able to make it functional. I’ve tried to learn how to code, but my brain just doesn’t work that way. And now I’m rambling, but I can’t stop talking because now I’m nervous to hear what you think. Actually, don’t tell me yet. Do you want one more drink?”
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I listen to him, completely mesmerized by the passion in his voice, and the way the energy is practically vibrating around him. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like him. And I certainly don’t want this night to end, so I say, “Yeah, just one more.”
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✨I have to give a MASSIVE thank you to @herecirmsims for making the poses for this scene!! They are absolutely perfect 😭 I am always in awe of your talent and creativity, and you've been so lovely and kind, I just adore you! Words cannot express how grateful I am! These boys are so special to me and it means the world to be able to bring these moments to life for them! 💖
#cw alcohol#it's another long one today guys#i just hate splitting these moments up and losing the vibes yknow#but it's the last super long one for a while#i mean.. as long as we agree that super long means anything over 2000 words lol#but i promise we'll be checking in with everyone else next week#i'm just being super indulgent with this chapter and don't want to break it up#i'm sure you understand 💛🩵#also if evan looks like they're giving atlas weird side-eye it's cos they are#someone's jealous#thanks to ww doing what it does best and my brain deciding to make a storyline out of it#it's now a whole thing#but this part is already so chaotic that i can't add in another thing#so i'm just sneaking bits into my screenshots to amuse myself#sorry evan.. you are v sweet but it's not gonna happen babe#n e way i've rambled enough#back to our regularly scheduled tags#ts4#ts4 simblr#ts4 story#sims 4#sims 4 storytelling#sims 4 challenge#starsignchallenge#starsignlegacychallenge#gen1 aries#aries pt4#past#atlas stephens#asher goode
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