#she never misses I swear
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"She's not a monster. She's a heartbroken woman living in a time that doesn't suit her."
- Kara Lane on Mrs. Danvers, Rebecca the musical, London 2023 (x)
#rebecca das musical#rebecca london#rebecca musical#mrs danvers#rebecca the musical#HER TAKES ARE SO CORRECT#she never misses I swear#I can't link to an Instagram story#so here's a link to her profile instead#merina rambles
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please Bioware just give me any indication in Veilguard that Varric and Cassandra are still friends and in regular contact, I am on my knees, one single crumb is all I need to sustain me
#Dragon Age: Veilguard#Cassandra Pentaghast#Varric Tethras#cassarric#look we all know this ship is my catnip#and we are all aware it is never ever gonna be anything remotely resembling canon#for a multitude of story reasons#but I swear to god I would be SO happy with just some crumbs#just...tell me they're friends#they have such weird old married couple vibes already#and I would sell my soul for one little cheeky hint of something more#like Dorian's dialogue in Inquisition teasing Varric#the whole 'What are you waiting for? She's right there!' conversation#idk give me some hint of a 'salacious rumour' about the two of them or something#Varric being cagey when Cassandra comes up in conversation and someone being like 👀#something that you can interpret as a joke if you want to#but throws us shippers a bone#as a treat#it would take so little to make my heart happy#I just miss them so much yaknow
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#I know teen miraxus never missed an oppurtunity to make fun of someone#we have to conside the (hilarious) implications of laxus' evil dad#gildarts the worst girl dad to ever do it#he trys to do the whole bonding over liking women thing with cana but she just finds him gross#I swear I don't hate gildarts 😭#fairy tail#gildarts clive#laxus dreyar#mirajane strauss#gajeel redfox#natsu dragneel#cana alberona#loke ft#gray fullbuster#freed justine#ivan dreyar#sting eucliffe#rogue cheney#bickslow#meme#shitpost#floertoer
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thinking about "I spent the last 15 years looking for you" "I spent 15 years trying to survive"
and
"what terrible thing could I have done as a child to receive such a punishment... I had a house, a family, what did I do?"
and
"I don't know what you went through, I have no idea but you don't know what I went through either"
oohhhh gêmeos do mistérios you will forever be my haunting muse
#i wanna know what they discussed#their plans if everything hadn't fallen apart#q!bagi's past#how she came to the island#so much was retconned and we'll never know a thing#they were just kids man#qsmp#qsmp mystery twins#qsmp bagi#qsmp cellbit#gemeos do misterio#i swear i make this same post every month but i MISS THEM#i miss what they could have been#at least in the end they were happy
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im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.
do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.
and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...
i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.
...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--
#lots of expansion on this in tags beware#this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW#this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1#no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND...#i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls#he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED#now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again)#now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes#because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does#it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!!#your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD???#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo
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gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach
#I need to do some sort of physical activity and that always felt good#but it has always been deadname and women's locker room#then big hiatus from my part#and now I'm back again. again with the deadname and women's locker room#but it feels so wrong#and today I felt like shit because there was people in the locker room#but what is the solution?#to come out ?#they'll laugh.#I don't pass#I never pass#I think people at university don't misgender me only because they're kind#but I don't pass#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you#but we all know they'll never not see the hips the chest the face the high pitched voice#and I have been stuck here since forever#everyone I know. EVERYONE#is now either on t or can pass#even people who've idk started after I was already going to the therapist because of it#and yes everyone has their own oath and yadda yadda yadda#but why I'm stuck?#I don't understand why I can't go on.#I feel like shit#and mother is ok with it but I know she still hatesthis whole thing#I gave her time I swear#but I miss her#and I tried telling her this and she. she doesn't want to hear it#because in her mind “if you really want it you do it”#like I could pass by sheer willpower#personal
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Yangchen and Aang: *trying to hold onto what Air Nation qualities they have while still performing their duties* Disha, to Roku: You are a spirit of NO Nation. Me: ??????
#Dishaaaaaaaaa#dishaaaa what do you mean DISHAAAAAA#me: *trying to rip apart her psychology with like the 3 lines I have from her*#i know it's a set up for Ta Min to be like “no you're a spirit of ALL Nations! :D” but stilllll I'm stuck on Disha rn#is she trying to get him detached from all the nations? not just fire? is this a detachment lesson?#but the avatar can never fully detach.....#silly talks#it's just interesting how RoR they are trying REALLY HARD to strip away his Fire National heritage#and how Yangchen/Aang struggle to keep hold of theirs#and how Korra's during S2 takes sides#(is it suppose to be a parallel to kyoshi?)#(kyoshi tries to distance herself from her own nation on her OWN not bc someone tells her to)#(kyoshi's also special cause she had a duality going on but that's a different topic)#reckoning of roku#roku#hmmmmmmnmmm#i have to re-read RoR maybe there's something I missed but I DON'T WANT TO RE-READ ROR IT SUUUUUCKS TT0TT#funny how disha says this and then gets the damn Air Nation involved to fuck Kyoshi over#It's weird they single Roku/FN out... is it because its the Fire Nation?#and is it bc of what the FN is GOING to do? Or is it bc of Szeto?#Cause I think it's foreshadowing for the former and....I don't like it#It's not good foreshadowing. It's foreshadowing that doesn't make sense#it feels like “oh you better distance yourself from ur country now buddy! cause they're abt to do something bad!” kind of foreshadowing#instead of like “that pebble lek picked up and is the same one that Kyoshi will use to kill Jianzhu”#Like the former feels PANDERING to ATLA rather than it making sense in the story#roku salt#(i'm working on the asks I swear~!)#this just popped into my head and I-RAAHHHBAHBJFJKLDSAJF TT0TT
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Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..
(my AU black version and the og green)
#Legend of Korra#Baatar Jr.#LoK#WIP#[ since this is from something silly I wanted to post this bit because he is serving very cunty#even if you know he's talking about accidentally ingesting caustic chemicals lol#this was def self indulgent but also why couldn't he have worn the suit at least once sobs#we had one chance#I don't actually think he uses the mech suit hardly ever even though he has his own personal one#but on rare occasions he does and gets in this outfit and Kuvira are you okay? Are you good? Has anyone checked on her?#I feel like this outfit is what causes her to take a serious sanity hit LOL#she just drags him away by the hood and no one sees them again for like 4 hours#or she's just like “You know what I think he could use my help :)” and proceeds to be everything but helpful#idk how anything in this regime gets done I swear#the most Baatar ever used the mech suits was when they were first being built#idk dude I love a man in a working uniform sobs#I knew someone would recognize the mech pilot suit hehe that made me smile because yeah :)))#it felt good to draw Baatar again sobs I love him so much I've missed him#I do kinda wish this sketch was cleaner but I wanted to at least post it now in case I never did lol#I should to a proper illust of him in the pilot suit one day just for the pure self indulgence of it all#give myself a lill treat you know? ]#Neon Ocean Art
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While you'd think the relationship would have moved at a truly glacial pace, once together, it's only eh....five or six months before Samuels comes back to their flat with an actual honest-to-god engagement ring. Logically, they're living together, they've exchanged words of intentions for this to be a long term relationship, so he figures he should do this the proper human way.
Unfortunately, Amanda balks at the concept of being/engaged/ because what the fuck, Chris, (not counting cryo) I haven't known you for a year yet??? Poor thing assumes her distaste is because he grossly misread their situation and his place in her life. She has to stress to him that it's not him, not the color of his blood ("Amy, it's not really blood,") just that its awfully fast. Its enough to calm him down but he's still embarrassed, and then the horror of having to return the ring occurs to him and--
"Why would you return it?"
"You said--"
"Hold on to it, for a little while." She never wanted to be anyone's wife, anyone's mother, anyone's possession...But if anyone on the planet would understand the hesitation she had with commitment, it would be the man she helped carve company logos out his fingerprints.
"Do you mean it?"
It breaks her heart, the way he's beaming at her like she actually accepted instead of requesting an extension, but his sheer /joy/ is infectious. He's like her, so very dry and to the point, their shared sense of humor is subtle, sarcastic, and often dark--yet she cracks, and she's giggling. Samuels can't laugh: almost no synthetic can by design, it's too complex of a biological process to bother mimicking but she knows if he could, he'd be joining her.
He over thinks how long "a while" is and goes through a monthly crisis, takes to carrying the ring in his coat, but never asking out of fear it hasn't been long enough. Amanda finds it there one day about four months later, while looking for a missing key. Christopher finds her sitting on the bedroom floor, glassy eyed, coat over her knees, twisting the ring around (of course it fits perfectly he probably laser measured her hands)
"If...you want, you can keep it on." Amanda nods slowly, the realization of the 'yes' sinking in belatedly she she has to stand shakily to hug him. Tightly.
#ripuels#alien isolation#ive misses them so much#like theres an actual novel im writing rn and a couple other ships that rotate but THESE TWO....#theyre always lurking#sometimes i rotate thru characters in my head at night to see what theyre up to#most often theyve just ended their day#and amanda is showering off the grime of work and chris is making her dinner#while the tv reports a news story about some debate about synthetics and he only half listens#more than anything it reminds him not to forget the coolant in the freezer and amanda walks out of thr bathroom with her hair wet#barefoot and in an oversized band shirt and a pair of his boxers#he smiles a little. not at her long bare legs or her obvious lack of a bra but bc he likes her hair down#she makes a remark about the news story and he deflects it with some dark humor#she walks past him to the fridge for a beer and they play a board game over dinner that amanda has never won even though chris swears#its just chance and no skill#they stay up too late and go to bed and nearly pass out immediately#amanda stays awake just long enough to make sure Chris's charger is working#and then falls asleep while he reads a book ii the dark
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suki nakamura is.... ✨ an icon ✨
#( ooc aka ferre talks. )#( she is not only an icon )#( she is a moment )#( charms not just u but also ur parents )#( makes ur parents think she's the perfect daughter )#( is this in reference to her charming ray's mom )#( YEAH ABSOLUTELY )#( i wanna be like suki nakamura one day...so much talent so much willpower :'D )#( i can only hope to have like 1/4 of her power okie 🥺🥺🥺 )#( even if i am not on her as often )#( pls know my heart is NEVER far away from her )#( i've beeen....wanting to get back more into prose writing )#( i got published once...it's not going to be my only time i swear )#( ....i am also tipsy )#( so i will...write some more and then sleep <3 )#( i miss though....being around my rp friends )#( how does one be more outgoing with them is the real question :'D )#( okie i go now care you lots <3 )
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LIOSLAITH, dnd 🌿 | LIOSLAITH, dnd ❄️
UNA + the cannibal, hotd 🐍 | ALVA, asoiaf 🌸
VINDAMEA + shadowmere, tesv 🐉 | VASHA, eso 🌊
TAGGED BY @risingsh0t, @chuckhansen, @shadowglens, @corvosattano, @jendoe, @florbelles and @leviiackrman to use this cutest picrew for a few loves! ty so much!
TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @kingsroad, @unholymilf, @phillipsgraves, @celticwoman, @denerims, @aartyom, @morvaris, @shellibisshe, @blissfulalchemist, @jacobseed, @girlbosselrond, @queennymeria, @nightbloodraelle, @belorage, @marivenah, @adelaidedrubman, @jackiesarch, @loriane-elmuerto, @yennas, @noonfaerie, @heroofpenamstan, @detectivelokis and you!
#only if you want to! 🤍🕊#oc: lioslaith mac ruaidhri#oc: una nathaira uller#oc: alva amaranthine#oc: vindamea verenim#oc: vasha uhlchesis#DEAR VASHA I WILL BUY ESO AND I WILL PLAY YOU THIS I SWEAR IT 🌊✨😖 thats dearie girl!#the cannibal but make him fun sized 🐉🌿😌🖤🖤#GODD UNA CAME OUT SO TERRIFYING AND THE LOVELIEST IN THIS THE WAY IM SHRIEKING??#the energy she exudes in my mind TO THE LETTER..! im sobbing i adore her sm!#nobody in westeros is doing unhinged like her !#aeggy: she’s never done a wrong thing in her life she told me <3 i know and i trust her ✨😌🌿 and he’s right!#its the fate card lighting inflames in the black and green it’s the WILDFIRE emerald hue to her eyes! im shrieking!#lioslaith you are the cutest in every season 🌿❄️🥹 THATS MY BABY I MISS HER <3 thinking of my baby!#alva and the pinks and the little sun earrings like! she’s the most precious u know? dearie girl <3 !!!!!#that’s my maormer! that’s my vampire ! that’s my vestige ! she’s the best!#vinnie trying not to finish the contract that was had on cara at the party at the embassy ✨😵💫😌 he looks FANTASTIC and she hates him for tha#and he knows! he got all dressed up for her ! he loathess these events and he went ! for her!!!!!! that’s called love besties!#leg.ocs#leg.tagged#t: picrews
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Mm
#i hate myself sometimes#i really fucking hate myself sometimes#i fucked up a relationship for my host and ill never het to exolain myself#he says hes not mad but i know he misses them and he got so fucking depressed over it#i keeo messing up i keep being so fucking mean#im always so fucking angry and scared all the time#i feel so fucking ugly and gross and just Bad#i dont like my body i dont like my face#i never have the energy to talk to people and it makes me such a bich#im always such a bitch to everyone#and i dont know how to stop#and i dont know if i can actually get better#fuck#i miss my friends#i dont know if they even think of me as friends at this point#because im always fucking gone#i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again#i dont know how to stop#im trying i swear im trying#bit i act like my grandma i always have#and i dont know how to stopm#i hate how similiar wr are i hatebit i hate it i hate it#im the one who was there when she. did tha. to us#im the one who had to have that memory#im fhe one who felt it#andbi know its my hodts trauma too#but ive always felt ot ive always been the one who had to carry it#and im just#i do not think i am a good person#i do not know how to be a good person
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ig running out of antidepressants really has consequences lmao
#im sobbing over being away from my home country which never happens so#something is UP#also im due to start my period! ugh#its just. being disconnected from my family and friends and culture and missing it all terribly#while actively running away from there#like. i miss it so so much but would not want to live there#if the politics and economy werent as they are i would not even have thought of leaving budapest#i havent been back in 5 months which is the longest i spent away ever#at least im not homesick in the way that im missing my family#just in the 'nothing can ever be home that is not budapest' way#ill talk about this in therapy i swear lmao but shes british so idk if shell understand#nett rambles#tbd
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Before I post anything else actually I have a VERY IMPORTANT PSA
(context, Alfonse and Sharena are Emblems here and it's a continuation of another goofy thing I made featuring them w this AU)
Transcript under cut!
Emblem AU
Sharena: "ALFONSE you ASSHOLE"
(scribbly and jagged "Huh?!" from Alfonse)
Sharena: "AS OF gen 7, Flareon AND Salazzle are the only fully evolved Fire Types who can't learn Solar Beam!!"
(Dialogue outside of talk bubbles) Alfonse: "DAMN it!! A grave oversight..." (BONK effect as Sharena punches him) "do you HATE women Alfonse?!" Alfonse "What!! No!!"
Alfred: "THIS is BLATANT Incineroar erasure!!!"
Céline, in rambling text: "also recent additions are Cinderace and interestingly enough Ceruledge -- its counterpart Armarouge can, meanwhile Ceruledge learns Solar Blade via move reminder"
Bullet point reads: *Physical counterpart to Solar Beam, introduced with Lurantis
#fire emblem#adding to my sharena swearing hc actually. the og hc i had was she's the type to say a swear word Once#and then feel so so soooooooo bad about it and makes a promise to herself she will NEVER say that EVER again#without any outside influence she's just like that. updating this thought though part 2.#she VERY occasionally swears ONLY if it's funny. scares the shit out of alfonse any time it happens#also i feel like clanne and framme could have worked here or alfred and clanne (clanne infodumping) but.#i love celine....... 🥲🥲🥲 and honestly she's lowkey autistic about tea. so. i think it translates.#(idk if that's a hard and fast hc i have but like i have no other way to describe it LMFAOOOO)#i have to play more engage.......#fe alfonse#sharena#fe alfred#fe celine#my art#ADDITION ACTUALLY I REALLY WANT ALFONSE AND CELINE TO BE FRIENDS TOO.#i find it SO fascinating and funny that the firene siblings are like the askr siblings but in reverse.#heroes was SO RIGHT to establish an alfred/sharena friendship but i think they can go further.#ALFONSE CELINE FRIENDSHIP WHEN HEROES!!!!!!!!!!! ON MY KNEES BEGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also yes i did go out of my way to look this up on serebii dot net. i don't think i missed any? if i did sorry!!!
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I need my family friends to stop dying please.
#just found out we lost one of my mom's very old friends#and her best friend died a year and a half ago#unfair#no one is allowed to die now for a minimum of five years please#I'm tired of being sad and more tired of watching my mom be sad#I'm okay we weren't super close but i will miss him#he was basically my adopted uncle. he was a jerk but he was our jerk. he argued constantly for attention.#i swear every time i saw him he told me i should have gone to the rival university that i hate and made fun of my school mascot#he gave me shit for being a vegetarian and called my lunch rabbit food#and oddly yes these are fond memories. because he was never doing it to be mean. i don't think he knew another way to interact.#i really did enjoy arguing with him. I'm gonna miss that.#death tw#vent post#hylian rambles#he always got my mom the rudest old age birthday card he could find. and my grandma too. of course my mom gave as good as she got.
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