#she loves talking to people but it just gets so exhausting

[simplyzeeka]

Episode.3 Season.1

Absolutely Astronomical

Trying to love

Wanna be free

So, God, tell me please

Is it in the stars

Warnings: MDNI!! Profanity, adult themes, themes of infidelity, grinding, mutual pining. Just... stars.

Summary: Some mistakes are unsolicited, but definitely preventable. But Syrae and Terry never really had the kind of control, have they?

A/N: Please excise any errors. Not proofread. Enjoy!! Anything in italics is a flashback

Rainy weather was always Terry's favourite time to decompress. He would usually just whip up a hot meal and enjoy it in front of a good mystery movie, or just paint something abstract on a fresh canvas, a new interest of his.

But sometimes, especially since meeting Amber, his ways of decompressing have changed… drastically. If he wasn't balls deep inside of her, best believe he worshipped what lied between the thick of her thighs with his face. Or sometimes, quality time was more than enough, even with non-sexual affection.

That was his plan after a long, exhausting day at work. The sudden cold weather had his body chilled, he wanted nothing more than to warm up with his wife.

Amber, a woman of bewitching beauty. Deep brown skin that glistened especially in the sun, a body so alluring that curved and rolled in every way he liked. Terry always believed he was lucky, because as beautiful as she was on the inside, her morals and values reciprocated with her external beauty.

She laid in a bathtub filled with foam and smelt of lavender. Candles lit on the side with a glass of wine in her hand. Terry almost didn't want to interrupt, but it's been a while since they spent time together since their short honeymoon.

“Baby.” Terry called out to her, softly as he walked towards the bathtub. He crouched down, his face close to hers. The faint of jazz music could be heard along with the pattering of raindrops on the windows.

“Hey lovey, didn't hear you come in. You okay?” Amber frowned, her moist thumb rubbed against the middle of his forehead, where his eyebrows dipped in a frown. “Tough day?”

Terry hummed, “Hmm, nah not really.” A simple answer, short and curt but Amber knew there was more to his sour mood. “Is this about Mike's birthday?” She asked softly, not wanting to add tension.

Terry's late cousin, Mike's, birthday was coming soon. His death still cause tremor in Terry's heart, despite it being years ago. While he tried to forget of everything that came with Mike’s death and Shelby Springs, that year will forever live in him rent free.

Terry simply nodded his head, exhaling a loud breath while his fingers thread through her braids and graze across her scalp. “Yeah, I’ma be okay though. Don't worry ‘bout me baby. How was your day?”

Amber smiled somberly, he wasn't okay but she wouldn't push him to talk about it. Amber got out of the tub, dried her body, and wrapped her body up with a robe. “It was… something. I have to leave for Singapore in a few days.”

“You have to go alone? I can pack up and leave with y-” Terry began before Amber interrupted him with a laugh.

“No baby, that's okay. You need to stay here and work, business seem to be booming lately.” She suggested before standing on the tip of her toes, leaving a amorous kiss on his lips.

Terry exhaled in rejection, scratched the back of his neck before he followed her to their bedroom. “Guess I'll have to cancel game night with the guys.”

“Uh-Uh. There is no need to do that lovey. Just get someone else to go with you.”

Terry lost concentration for a bit, watching her as she smeared lotion on the smooth of her legs, the robe slipped off her shoulder revealing precise ink work across her collarbone.

“Yeah, but I wanted my woman to go with me. I missed you, baby. Shit, I still do.”

Amber rolled her eyes playfully with a knowing smile. Terry had always been an affectionate person, despite his broody demeanour and the way he always seemed to be mean-mugging people, he had not once hid his affections from Amber. It made her heart soar time and time again.

“I know, and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you when I get back.” She whispered, taking slow and calculated steps towards him. “But right now… I kinda want you to put me to sleep.”

Terry bit his bottom lip at that, his eyes glistened with a shine that Amber always brought to him. “Shit, don't gotta tell me twice, girl. Come here.”

Terry ended up going to the game night alone, and unfortunately for him, he was stuck as a third wheel. Rome cancelled at the last minute, so it was just him, Yosohn and his girlfriend, Isla.

The three opted for something simple, and while Terry was bored out of his mind, bowling seemed to keep him from mugging Yosohn and his girl from their excessive PDA.

He missed Amber, it's been two days since she left for Singapore and he already felt screws loosening in his head. “We about to play or not?” He snapped at the couple, causing infectious giggles to spur from Isla's chest as she detached her lips from Yosohn's.

“Damn let's get started ‘fore this man throw a ball at us.” Yosohn joked, which only fueled the shorter woman's laughter. Terry smacked his lips as they all got started on the game.

The games were tense as Terry and Yosohn played against one another. The bowling rank was full now, almost every single alley was taken with players. Terry was beginning to get a little overstimulated by the few drinks, loud music, the flashing of bright neon led lights and the game.

In dire need of a break, Terry called recess and went to the bathroom to recharge. The bathroom was minimalistic, rather boring. But hey, it was just a bathroom and the bowling alley was quite an old establishment.

He appreciated the soft scent of bleach and soap, the mirrors were spotless and the floors squeaked with every step he took. Terry stood by the sinks, watching his reflection in the mirror before splashing cold water on his face to get him out of his funk. Usually by now, he would have told Amber that his social battery was running low and he just wanted to lay up under her for the rest of the night. But she wasn't here with him, and going home was not an option for Terry because she wasn't there either.

Reluctant to rejoin the couple, Terry slowly stepped out of the bathroom, eyes on the ground before a nostalgic fragrance of jasmine and honey, and maybe a small hint of… he couldn't really put his finger on the last scent, it didn't matter though, because what brought a smile to his face was an all too familiar person seemed to be in his presence, for the first time in weeks.

“Syrae?”

Terry did opt for finding out, would be hard not to when she enticed him in the way that she did. Must have been that stripper shit she learned at the club.

“I'm telling you, I would've made an amazing politician.” Terry laughs, staring at the dark-skinned beauty with a smile from across the table of a cheap, local diner.

Stark colours of red, yellow and orange painted the walls, tables and booths as Syrae sipped on her vanilla Milkshake. “I just don't see it. You look like you don't got the time for bullshit.” Syrae shrugged her shoulders.

“I don't, but I love being dependable and inventive. And politics seems to be the perfect place to do that. ‘Specially with how shit be going down here.”

He seemed ambitious, versatile too. Syrae loved that about anyone, but knowing that Terry was all this made it harder for her to keep her wandering thoughts at bay. “Hmm, somethin’ tell me owning a workshop wasn't in your books?”

A steady observation, Terry didn't talk about his shop like he spoke about his past ventures. The light in his eyes seemed to dim only slightly and Syrae was not sure if it was the journey to how he got here… or the destination that had him frustrated.

“That somethin’ might be right.”

Syrae hummed at his short response, she could read a room, but Terry did not seem to want to be read at the moment. Perhaps they could leave that for another time.

“Well I know how that feels.” Syrae sighed before she raised her half-empty glass. “What's life without a little fuck ups?”

Terry laughed at that, appreciating the deflection a little like she appreciated the sound of her melodic voice, or the sight of her smile. “Not a damn thing, Indigo.”

“Syrae.’ she interrupted with a small scrunch of her nose. “My real name’s Syrae.”

It suited her, much more than the name Indigo and it seemed to piece her together. “Hmm, nice to meet you. Syrae.”

“I'm sure it is.” and so the banter continues.

“Terry, I'm convinced you followin’ me now.” The shorter woman crossed her arms over her chest. She had jeans that fit just right, before flaring wide below her knees. A sage green dress, which stopped mid-thigh and was decorated with some glitter. There was a knot tied around her neck from the dress, covered by the jacket draped over her shoulder.

It was a simple outfit, so so simple. But Terry couldn't seem to understand why he felt butterflies breaking pit of their cacoons at the way she looked. Maybe it was the glasses on her face, he always had a thing for women in glasses. Or maybe the soft of her features, plush lips, thick brows. Fuck, it could've been the accent, one that did nothing to soothe the resolute thumping of his heart.

“Cockiness gets you nowhere Rae.” Syrae rolled her eyes at that, although her heart galloped at the nickname. Since finding out her real name, he has been calling her that freely and she would not be one to stop him, it sounded good coming from him.

“But nah, I'm kinda stuck third-wheeling my friends.”

Syrae winced, “Same here, actually.”

“But wait I got a reason to be alone, you don't. Where your lady at?” She asked curiously, although the mention of Terry's wife felt like a small slice to her gums, a feeling she quickly blinked away.

“Went away for work, Singapore.” Terry answered proudly. Amber was such a hard worker and she deserved every single petal on the flowers she received. “Who got you third-wheeling though?”

“My friend, Broisa and her… partner?” Syrae hesitated, not even sure if Gage was Broisa's boyfriend. Terry picked up the hesitation and laughed in understanding.

For a while he stood silent, eyes darting from her face to the floor then back to her face. Something about her features made it too hard for Terry to stare too long, yet it seemed like his brain pined for another look at her. Syrae had her natural hair out this time, perfectly coiled in a way that they bounced everytime she moved. Terry couldn't help but wonder just how long she spent on her hair every day. Was it hours and hours on end, or had she gotten so used to the routine it was sort of a habit to her? Did she need help? What products did she use?

“Well, you could join me… and my friends.” He began, pointing behind him, where Yosohn and Isla stood. “If you want.”

Syrae raised a brow, took a peak around Terry at his friends in question. “Hmm, if I want…” A mumbled retort. Syrae couldn't find a reason to decline, a reason she was so desperate to find because being near Terry just felt like torture at times. The man was naturally intense, and even without trying, everything he did was just inherently seductive, it made her want to lose all sense of her morale and give into whatever the stupid dragonflies in her stomach told her.

“That don't sound like too bad of an idea, I just gotta let me friend know though.” She explained, eyes trailing back to Terry's.

“You do what you gotta do, I'll be right over there.” Syrae nodded at his response, turned slowly and walked to where Broisa and Gage sat lip-locked, engaged deeply in each other than getting their money's worth.

Syrae walked meticulously to Terry's booth, an extra set of footsteps rushing behind her, wanting to so desperately know what the man who constantly occupied Syrae’s mind and conversation looked like.

So it happened that Broisa couldn't keep her mouth shut and yapped away Syrae's business to Gage. Now Gage was into Syrae’s tea and just as invested as the woman at his side. Syrae warned them both to not do anything that would compromise her's and Terry's friendship, or put them in an uncomfortable position.

“Hey, Terry. I'm back.” She announced. She noticed how the other two turned to her with brows raised and backs straightened. They were alert, something she couldn't necessarily fault as she was a random person to them, one who came with two more people towing behind her, and Broisa and Gage didn't look like the friendliest batch of people.

“My friends decided to come along, hope y'all don't mind an extra triplet.” She smiled nervously, watching as Gage protectively stared down the other three which were seated. “Yeah, hope y'all don't mind.” Gage couldn't stop himself from repeating, trying to seem intimidating.

Syrae couldn't help but to slightly roll her eyes, being used to Gage's antics by now, she knew it was only a matter of time until he started some shit like this, which she found hilarious because he was much smaller than the two.men he was trying to intimidate.

While Yosohn was a little lanky, he had Gage beat by height. Terry… well, Everything about Terry was big, surely a man that size should be able to knock some sense into people?

“Gage, hush.” Broisa reprimanded him, before smiling over at Terry, a little bunch of constellations in her eyes as she began to understand perfectly well why he insisted on his career at being an eight-track athlete in Syrae's head. “We hope we're not intrudin’?” Broisa continued, her smile getting a little too wide to keep at bay.

“Don't worry bout it. Isla, Sohn. This is Syrae, Broisa and… Gage?” Terry introduced before he turned to Syrae. “This Yosohn and his girlfriend, Isla.”

It was only then that Yosohn's eyes widen slightly in realisation. He connected Syrae to the club after a while. Yosohn has never seen Syrae up close, only ever seen her on stage, he hasn't really gotten the opportunity to see distinct features. Yet all this was masked by confusion, he didn't understand why Terry would invite Syrae here, a stripper who gave him a private dance. There couldn't be any good that came from this.

“Hey, nice to meet y'all.” Isla smiles, relaxing a bit at knowing that Terry knows them, well one-third at least. Syrae and Broisa return the sentiments, smiling awkwardly as Yosohn and Terry stare Gage down, the smaller man still not backing down.

Terry shook his head, then let out a small chuckle before directing the two women to take a seat in the booth.

After a few drinks, the tension was long forgotten and the group of six laughed at anything and everything. Yosohn had fallen a total of four times trying to throw a bowling ball, and that alone still had Syrae clutching her stomach.

Okay, so maybe they had more than a few drinks. And that meant that Terry and Syrae shared more than a few lingering stares, which luckily, nobody was sober enough to notice… at least they thought.

“I thought games weren't your thing.” Terry begins unsolicited conversation, focused intently on how Syrae swirled her straw in a tall glass of a purple glittery drink. A Nebula Blast she said it was. One fuckery of a drink because just like it's name, she began seeing galaxies in Terry’s eyes. A gazillion of shooting stars just waiting to make her dreams come true.

“They not.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips before she wrapped her lips around her straw, Terry following the movement intently, inviting him to lick his own. “But free food and drinks are, and I needed this time out.”

“And why's that?.” His eyes didn't move from her mouth, especially not when her tongue peaked to catch the slight residue on her tinted lips. The muscle left a small trail of glitter and her full lips couldn't have looked any more enticing.

“I just wrote my last exam, and submitted my assignment. Kinda going through college burnout. Needed this real bad.” She lifted her half-full glass, the alcohol having already been too much for her that it forced her to sip much slower. How much Vodka did they put in this?

“Hmm, bet you did. You nervous ‘bout results?” Terry asked, taking a swing of his own rum and coke, a bad idea for someone as lightweight as Terry.

Syrae shook her head slowly, “Not really. I worked my ass off for these exams. But I'm still a little shaky… don't know ‘bout nervous though.”

Syrae yapped away about each exam she wrote, the difficulty of each and how she felt after writing. Terry listened, nodding along with a few interjections here and there.

It wasn't long until the other four felt a little bored at the bowling alley. Broisa wanted to go somewhere a little less… family friendly so she could get wasted and act accordingly with no children around.

Claiming that there was a nightclub not too far from the bowling alley, Broisa convinced everyone else to walk together instead of catching different rides to a place that's less than thirty minutes away.

Syrae was thankful of the recommendation, after downing the rest of the toxic drink, she had started feeling a little dizzy, and the cool night breezes did enough to calm her down and gather her breathing, temporarily ceasing the churning in her stomach.

But she was extra conscious of the fact that Terry was right next to her as they walked down the sidewalk, the other four goofing off further away in front of them. They managed to hold conversation, as always, a little sprinkle of banter did just the job in being confused as flirtation in Syrae's drunken state.

She kept up though, barely crossing another line. They were merely grazing it out of anticipation. By the time they made it to the club, Syrae had calmed down a tad bit. Terry, on the other hand, was still feeling the effects of the three glasses of rum, because now floating notes of music morphed into bright orange monarchs. They fluttered and diffused into his stomach, creating a surge of warmth when he felt the cool skin of her back as he led her through the entrance of the club.

It was loud, so loud that Terry and Syrae were beginning to question if they should have agreed on coming here. Broisa immediately enjoyed the vibe and hopped to the dance floor with Gage. Syrae and Terry followed Yosohn and Isla to the bar.

Syrae orders a water for Terry and herself, makes him drink as she remembered that he couldn't hold his liquor. Consciously, Syrae knew that a night out with Terry while being inebriated couldn't have been a good idea. Being out with Terry in such a casual setting, a comfortable one at that, was a bad idea in general.

It didn't take long for everything to catch up with Syrae, and then suddenly her need for fresh air was too palpable to be ignored. She excuses herself from the three friends, claiming she was just going outside for a while.

Now stood against a wall at the back of her nightclub. An unlit blunt in one hand and a hot pink lighter in the other. She stared at the ground mindlessly, periodically flicking her lighter. Maybe she should just cut off this budding friendship with Terry, there was no way he didn't feel how she did, which made it worse because…Terry was married. Fuck he was married and the thought along brought a pissing migraine to her head.

The music echoes perfectly from the club, only mere vibrations could be below her feet, which was long ridden of her heels. They sat comfortable on the floor next to her feet. Syrae exhaled loudly before placing the tip of her blunt in her lips before lifting her hands on the other end, flicking the spark wheel a number of times waiting for a flame.

Until the sudden sound of the back door opening suddenly, then out came a Terrence Richmond with his natural mean mug on his face. Syrae straightened off the wall abruptly, whipping the blunt off her lips. “Fuck, Terry. What the hell?” She muttered, exhaling a sigh of relief.

“You were out here for too long, thought somebody took you.” He explained, stepping a few steps to close, she could tell by how the hint of old wood and cocoa butter invaded her nose. “I'm good, Soldier.” She laughed softly, putting the blunt back in her bag.

Terry merely hummed. He got a few more drinks, in an attempt to wash away the thoughts of Syrae and all the feelings she brought. She weighed on his head heavily and intoxicatingly. Kind of like the alcohol did. “Wanted to see that for myself.”

Syrae hummed, looking up at his eyes. She shouldn't have, but she did, and now she couldn't look away. She couldn't help her wandering eyes. How they traced the intentional streaks of each contour on his face, the thickness of his neck, broad shoulders, one's she'd always thought would be a perfect place for her legs. Thighs or calves, it didn't matter.

He was wearing a black turtleneck, one that hugged his body in ways that had Syrae imagining raking her nails across his skin. His jeans were a bit loose, but when he sat or flexed just enough, the thickness of his thighs could not be hidden from the stretch.

“Why you got your shoes off? There's broken bottles down here, Rae.” Terry frowned at that realisation. Instinctively, he stepped even closer. Terry crouched on his feet and tapped three fingers on one of Syrae's ankles, coaxing her to lift her foot. “Terry, my feet fine. Ain't no need to do-” She was interrupted by a sigh.

Terry looked up from his crouched position, fingers just barely grazing the smooth skin above her ankle. His face remained neutral, as if he were telling her he wasn't taking no for an answer. Syrae let out a sigh of her own, her shoulders sagged and she lulled her head to the side before raising her foot.

Terry lifted it slightly higher, causing her to push the middle of her dress downward, as to not expose herself. He gently inspected the underside of her foot, swiping away the small rocks and pebbles indented in her heels.

He does the same for the other foot, however this time, it was much slower, much more intentional. That much was obvious by how Terry kept his slightly hooded eyes on her eyes, while massaging away at her heels. “Terry.” Syrae warned softly, her lips feeling a bit more dry than earlier and suddenly, she saw small dots of sparkly gas floating around her.

“Hmm?” He wasn't listening. His hand travelled lightly up her legs as did his gaze. He slowly raised from his crouched position the moment. Syrae's leg rested on his hip as his large hand held her leg up. “Terry.”

Syrae attempted at warning again, this time a little louder. Her hand reached for his, attempting to push it away from her burning skin, yet her fingers worked their way underneath the hem of his sleeves. Stiletto nails grazing his skin when Terry stepped further between her legs. “Syrae.”

She held in a whimper, the other hand that rested on his shoulder was supposed to push his body away, instead, it gripped at the defined muscle and slowly travelled to the curve of his neck. “Terrence Richmond.” Syrae moaned, in sheer desperation, because at least one of them had to have control, and surely wouldn't be Syrae. “I'm here.” He retorted, their faces so close he can taste the glitter and stars from the Nebula Blast on her breath. He just needed to kiss her, one kiss. Then he would see a supernova.

She shook her head, their noses budging at the movement. “Uh uh. We not ‘sposed to be doin’ this, Terry.” She whispered against his lips. Terry only nodded his head, managed to hold off from swallowing her gasp when she felt his obvious excitement against her ruined panties.

“You stoppin’ me?” A question that held so much power, because was she stopping him? Did she have the willpower to stop any of this? Syrae began questioning herself, trying to find resolute… until Terry angled his hips so perfectly, then ground them right against Syrae's pooling heat. Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows pinched between her forehead. “Hmm, baby? You gonna stop this?”

She should, she really really should. Because Terry could fuck her life all the way up, he already was and he's barely done anything. “Fuhh.” Her words fell short when she felt his pulsating bulge grind mind-numbing flutters to her swelling bud. “Hmm, look at m- Syrae. Look at me. You gon’ st-”

He was talking too much. Syrae held the back of his neck and pulled his lips onto his. And fuck if her heartbeat didn't go calm. She felt herself sag against him.

It took a while for them to register their affection. But when Terry reeled in, he kissed back, their heads moving leisurely in opposite directions as their minds took the lead. Syrae heard pops in her ears, mostly from the abuse of pressure Terry offered between her legs.

His hips moved so slowly, it's as if he was trying to serenade a confession of love from her heart straight through her body and out her pussy with her drowning essence. And she would tell him a million times, how it was his.

Terry moans against the kiss, the monarchs in his stomach cease the fluttering, as did the dragonflies in Syrae's. As if they've kissed noses, called a truce. Everything felt like an end of soul searching, like the two haven't reached true content in life until that very moment.

Syrae felt familiar and foreign all at once. But above all else, she felt like serenity. The kiss brought nothing but tranquillity and a surge of need. Terry wasn't sure if he particularly enjoyed the taste of Nebula Blast and glitter on her lips or the small hint of the cherry candy that Syrae always said she loved. It didn't matter because it was Syrae.

But Terry was wrong about one thing. Syrae's kisses didn't make him see a supernova. They made him see fucking galaxies.

A/N: I did that??? I did that for real? I'm so proud of this part, although it seemed like there's a lot going on, it's my favourite because it highlights a theme I've been wanting to include. If you haven't noticed, it's astronomy! Not the entire concept perse, but it's a lot of stars going on.

There's was a very, very subtle hint at how the story's gonna end in the chapter. It's so miniscule I doubt anyone will notice it lol. This song is what inspired me to write, because I was a little blocked chilee

Taglist:

@blyffe @peachbutterfly-blog @browngirldominion @blackmoonchilee

Comment if you'd like to be tagged. Please like it if you love it lol. Comments and reblogs are deeply encouraged and appreciated, it what motivates me to write more.

[youshouldhavepaidattentiondad]

Holding on to Feel the Same

Ao3

The sweet taste of cherry pie lingers on Duke's tongue. With a satisfied sigh, he sets down his fork.

Miss Holloway appears, clearing the empty plate with a grin. “How was it?”

“It was delicious, darlin’. It always is,” Duke chuckles.

The jukebox plays some 80's ballad to the empty diner. The clock on the wall reads a quarter till midnight.

In this moment, it feels like they're the only two people in the world.

Duke gives her a dreamy smile. He stands from his seat at the counter, extending a hand to her. “May I have this dance?”

Musical laughter escapes Miss Holloway's painted lips as she steps around the counter to take his hand. “You certainly can.”

As they sway together to the music, Duke gathers his courage. “I have a question for you.”

“Oh?” Miss Holloway tilts her head. “What is it?”

-

The question hangs heavy in the silence.

Sam takes one deep breath then another. “Never mind,” he finally says through gritted teeth.

“Sam, honey, just talk to me,” Charlotte pleads, voice wavering like she's about to cry.

“Fine.” A hand reaches up to pull off his aviators. His blue eyes are filled with tears. “Why do we keep doing this, Char? We're both fucking miserable.”

Gasping, Charlotte shakes her head. “We're just in a rough patch right. It'll get better-”

“When?” Sam demands, his voice breaking. “It's been years, nothing is getting better, Nothing is helping. Not counseling, not cuddle nights, nothing.”

He takes a deep breath, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. Exhaustion bleeds into his voice. “I'm tired, Char. I'm so fucking tired.”

-

“Then sleep?” Paul suggests, brow furrowed in confusion. “I don't-”

“No, Paul,” Emma tries again with a sigh. Her brown eyes glimmer sadly. “I'm tired of this.” She gestures between the two of them. “I'm not- I'm not the settling down type. I'm not the girl you take home to meet your parents and have a nice little white picket fence life with.”

Blinking, Paul slowly stands from where he had been kneeling. The ring box in his hands closes loudly, the sound echoing in the quiet.

“So that's a no,” he tries to say nonchalantly. His voice still trembles.

“Look, I'm sorry.” Emma tries to console him. A hand comes up to run back through her hair as she watches how poorly he attempts to cover up the obvious heartbreak.

“Okay.” Paul slides the ring box back into his pocket. “Okay.” He gives her a weak smile. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

He gives a thumbs up. “I should go. Take care, Emma.” He heads for the door, hoping she'll call after him.

-

There's no sound.

Ted sits on his bed as he studies the photograph cradled in his hands. Silent tears slip down his cheeks as he stares at the image.

He's there, young and naive, face free of facial hair. He ignores himself in favor of the young woman beside him. 

Years have passed but he can't seem to let go. Despite the sadness, resentment burns at his heart just like the tears in his eyes.

She never bothered to reach out to him so why should he go through the trouble of tracking her down? What does it matter If he loves her?

Jenny clearly didn't want him.

The silence breaks as he mutters, “Fucking bullshit.”

-

“What?” Ethan asks, tone stunned as he stares at Lex.

“You heard me!” Anger rages like fire in Lex's eyes. “I work my stupid fucking minimum wage job and come home to cook and clean and all this other shit-”

Ethan tries to shush her. “Babe, keep it down, Hannah's trying to sleep-”

This only seems to infuriate Lex more. Her voice drops to deadly quiet. “I do everything and what do I get for it?” She hisses.

“Babe, you're not alone-” Ethan tries, only to be cut off.

“It sure fucking feels like it!” Lex shakes her head, hands fumbling in her jacket pockets for her cigarettes and lighter. “I just- I need to be alone for one goddamn minute.”

She walks out the door, slamming it behind her.

-

Pete flinches at the sound. He stands on the doorstep, unsure of what to do next.

On the other side of the door, he can hear the mayor and Steph yelling at one another. He winces at their raised voices, taking a step back.

After what feels like an eternity, the shouting stops. The door flies open and Steph storms out. She takes Pete’s hand, squeezing so hard it feels like his fingers might come off.

Pete waits until they've walked a couple blocks before he stops, tugging Steph to a halt as well.

She turns to look at him, tears streaked with mascara running down her face.

He pulls her into a tight hug, unsurprised when she slumps against him.

“He hates me,” Steph manages to get out before her voice gets stolen by a sob. “He hates me and I don't know why.”

-

“He's just adjusting,” Tom assures, frowning slightly. “I'm sure he doesn't hate you.”

Becky sighs. “Tim said it to my face, Tom. I don't know if he thinks I'm trying to replace his mom or that I'm trying to steal you from him,  but he said it and it felt like he meant it.”

Tom fidgets with the piece of wood in his hands. “I'm sure he'll come around, Beck. He's nine. Big emotions and all that.”

Nodding, she sighs again as she sinks into a nearby chair. “I don't want to cause problems between you and your son,” Becky explains, “But I don't want to lose you again. It was hard enough the first time.”

-

Wiley laughs, a harsh, gravelly sound. “Really now? What, were you heartbroken over me, Johnny? Crying into your pillow like some lovesick teenage girl?”

Without thinking, John hits his fist off the plexiglass that divides the two of them. The ache in his hand is nothing compared to the pain in his chest. “I loved you!” he snaps, composure completely shattered.

Smirking, Wiley takes a step forward, placing an open palm on the plexiglass, right over John's fist. “I think you messed up there, Johnny. You said it in past tense. We both know you're not over me.”

The tags around John's neck feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. 

Wiley's grin only grows. “Oh, I know you,  Johnny. I know you even better than you know yourself. You keep hoping I'm going to come back. No matter how much you try to push it down, try to ignore it, you just can't get rid of that hope.”

It hurts. John feels like he can't breathe. His hand relaxes, his palm pressed against Wiley's through the plexiglass. 

“You want to beg for me to come back.” Wiley's eyes glint maliciously. “Go on.  Just ask.”

-

Duke swallows nervously. “Would you want to go on a date sometime?”

Their dancing comes to an abrupt halt as Miss Holloway stares at Duke, something akin to horror in those bright blue eyes.

“Oh, Duke…” She steps away from him, shaking her head. “I'm sorry, but I can't.”

His heart drops. “But I thought-” he starts.

“I'm sorry,” She repeats. She reaches up like she's going to cup his face, but jerks her hand back like she's been burned. “I'm not… you could do better.”

“But I want it to be you,” he counters almost desperately.

Shaking her head once more, Miss Holloway turns away from him. “It's late. You should get going. I need to close up.”

Defeated, Duke heads for the door, the bitter taste of rejection lingering on his tongue.

[vilavi-2]

You may not be able to see @andthendk's gifs embedded in AO3 anymore, and thats because enough people loved and downloaded them that it broke my dropbox bandwidth limit for the day 😅

I was today years old when I learned that was a thing! They should be restored tomorrow, but to prevent a repeat issue I'm reposting everything here. You can download the gifs from this tumblr post (compressed to meet upload requirements here), but please don't nab them from AO3 - they are hosted there via an embedded link that counts each download against me. Thanks and sorry for the trouble! 💕

Sway

It was bad right from the beginning. The physical threat the Red Lanterns posed was one thing, the blinding rage that assaulted her mind was far worse. Raven concentrated fiercely to keep the brunt of it at bay, but each little bit that slipped through was like a needle in her psyche. Soon enough it was as though a swarm of hornets was assailing her, their sharp, relentless stings driving her closer and closer to the locked door where she kept her own anger.

It didn’t help how much Ysmault reminded her of Trigon’s realm. A red, rank, screaming world that seemed almost designed to regress her. The only living things here were her and her fellow heroes; their foes had no heartbeat and the landscape itself was made up of bones, blood, and burning rock. Over all of them was the Red Lantern’s power battery, bathing the scene in malignant light.

Raven couldn’t say when that door eventually cracked open, she only knew it had when she saw her clawed, red hand wrapped around a foe's throat, felt the heat of him in her grip, peered into the raw, animal madness in his eyes. She shouldn’t be this close, it wasn’t her style. Raven fought best from a distance, methodically and without any joy in the act. Now she was in the thick of it, reveling in the up close and personal degradation of her enemies. It was wrong, she knew it was wrong, and yet it felt so good . Truly, she had forgotten how good anger could feel. The Lantern in her grasp spewed more of his viscous, spoiled blood at her trying to win free of the iron grip on his throat. Raven tightened her hand instead, cutting off the stream and tossing him aside. Her enemies' corrosive, burning blood had no effect on her — she’d been bathed in hotter fires than they could ever match.

She and Damian sat there quietly, too exhausted to talk, too edgy to sleep. It’s done, it’s over, relax now , Raven kept telling herself. But the trials of their battle weren’t so easy to shake off. The unhinged fury of the Red Lanterns was like a needle in her mind, sharp and relentless. She’d been able to resist the worst of it, but enough had gotten through to her. The worst part was that everyone had seen. Everyone could still see. Raven did not wear fury well.

She shifted in the Javelin’s jumpseat, trying to get more comfortable. Instead the move just reminded her that she was covered in the viscous, spoiled blood Atrocitus’s minions spewed with abandon. The tacky, wet feeling of it repulsed her even as it compounded her shame and guilt.  

She tried again, futilely, to force the emotional echoes from the Red Lanterns from her mind, glad that she and Damian were alone in this part of the Javelin. The seats near the front were occupied by Titans and Leaguers alike, licking their wounds and trading happy banter about their victory over the Red Lanterns. Raven stole a glance at her teammate, guilt and distress prickling her heart at the injuries that dotted his skin. She had promised to heal him as soon as she was back in full control of herself, to which he’d shrugged and told her in his blunt, cocky way not to worry about it. His gaze hadn’t flickered when he saw her, nor when he’d met her golden eyes with his own. Even when they were kids Damian hadn’t ever seemed bothered when he saw her like this, for which she was endlessly grateful.

He slumped a bit in his seat, arms crossed and eyes closed, though she knew he wasn’t asleep. Raven decided to follow his lead and forced her body to relax, resting her head against his shoulder in hopes that some of his unshakeable composure could leach into her. They’d been here before and she knew he wouldn’t mind. Change back damn it, she thought tiredly. Damian shifted alongside her to settle them both more comfortable and she moved with him effortlessly, exhaustion and contentment finally starting to cool her blood.

Minutes must have passed, but it felt like she’d only just closed her eyes when a bright spike of emotion and noise opened them again. Supergirl and Shazam had taken seats opposite them, flamboyant in their giddiness. A quick look around showed the Javelin had filled up quite a bit since they first boarded and the whir of the engines told her they’d be taking off soon.

“You were amazing !” Billy was telling Kara, the raw admiration in his voice a dead giveaway for his real age. “Atrocitus totally didn’t see it coming! I bet he thought it was Superman that hit him!”

“It was just a lucky shot,” Supergirl said, but she was beaming from the praise. Raven couldn’t help her tired stare, something twisting in her belly when she saw how immaculate the other heroine was. Not a spec of rancid blood, not a tear on her clothes, not a hair out of place. Raven admired her, envied her, maybe hated her. Don’t be stupid. We’d still be out there dealing with rage zombies if not for Kara . She was more spent than she realized, if she wasn’t able to keep those small, petty emotions at bay.

“Don’t even,” Billy went on, goodnaturedly. “You oughta let loose more often. Don’t let your cousin soak up all the attention.”

“Maybe I will,” she grinned back, her aura bright with satisfaction. Only then did Kara seem to take notice of her and Damian sitting across the ship’s aisle. Her smile slowly tapered off, and careful (forced) nonchalance overtook her expression. Billy followed her eyes and quickly adopted the same look. As their twin gazes crawled over her, Raven felt a sinking feeling. She knew what they were seeing. 

Scarlet skin, black horns and claws, four feline yellow eyes. Not to mention the splatters of rank blood that decorated her body. Letting loose doesn’t look quite as good on me as it does her.  

Something unfamiliar stirred in her — shame? vanity? insecurity? she couldn't decide — and she dropped her eyes, reaching up to draw her hood over her head. The least she could do was hide her horns…

Damian caught her wrist in a firm grip and tugged her hand back down into her lap, thwarting her. She looked over in confusion and saw he was alert now, staring unflinchingly back at the two other heroes. His expression was neutral, but there was a clear challenge in the set of his jaw and the steely look his eyes. It was a look that both heroes and villains were known to quail from, and this time was no different.

Shazam was the first to break, ducking his head and muttering out a half-hearted pardon before hurrying to find another seat on the Javelin. Kara was soon to follow, albeit with a bit more grace and an uncertain smile for Raven. The empath felt a touch of guilt for her earlier, uncharitable feelings towards the heroine. It wasn't Kara's fault she was such a mess.

Damian’s unflinching stare followed them up the aisle before he finally turned his eyes to her, the fingers on her wrist sliding to coil with her own. He said nothing for a few seconds, just studied her from behind his mangled domino mask. Raven looked back at him wearily, feeling slightly bitter at his intervention and wishing he would have just let her hide. His expression softened and Raven blinked in surprise when she felt his thumb brush lightly against the skin beneath her second set of eyes before migrating north and tracing one of her ebon horns.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of," he declared, finality in every syllable.

A profound affection swept through her, heating her blood in a different way than before and making her heart beat too fast. The feeling belonged to both of them, Raven realized, and was more than enough to sweep away the last few drops of rage poisoning her psyche. Her vision blurred for a quick second as four eyes became two. Damian dropped his hand, skimming her hair lightly as he did, and settled back against his seat. He kept his eyes on her and Raven felt the unmistakable pride in his gaze. She laid her head on his shoulder again; partly to hide from the power of his regard and partly because of an uncontrollable need for closeness.

He reciprocated, resting his cheek against the crown of her head and exhaling deeply. The sense that she was soiled or shameful, which had dogged her since the battle, was gone now, replaced with the  inexplicable feeling that she was pristine.

“But he who dares not grasp the thorn

Should never crave the rose.”

― Anne Bronte 

DamiRae Week 2024 - Day 3 / Al Khala

Sway

Sometimes, when you and I collide

I fall into an ocean of you

Pull me out in time

damiraeweek2024 contribution from me and @andthendk! Enjoy!

[silbeni]

Ryoma’s 3rd job…

[cherry-treelane]

I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy

as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions

funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised

like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

based on your asks responses & characterization of yuuta this is what i’ve gathered — yuuta is like that one high school senior who looked at the new coming freshman’s & just adopted them on the spot. there’s no out. now his friends sees the kid & adopted them too. it’s a family now. a very young, close in age family. (i was yuuta in this situation 😔 i was use to be megumi in this situation but i carried the tradition out. as i should. high school & middle school was wild.)

YUUJI THOUGH. we will probably never see him in your sea glass garden au but your asks is killing me. like his one sided beef with yuuta? he’s just like me fr. i too would fight over megumi if it comes down to it.

i just know yuuji thought that yuuta & megumi was a thing at first cause of the whole “his boy thing”. i know he screamed into a pillow about it. i know he went to gojo to ask for permission to court megumi & gojo was flabbergasted at such a medieval act so he had yuuji do the dumbest shit to get his blessing (ha).

i just know nanami is sighing at the idea of his son yuuji being a jealous little brat because of his other son yuuta. i just know yuuta was so confused until he witnessed yuuji & megumi awkward ass flirting. i know he acts like a little shit to get on yuuji (& sukuna) nerves.

you know what. this is my jujutsu kaisen. this is my sorcery fight. gege who? i only know you. PLS TAKE THE PEN FROM GEGE.

Yuuta is absolutely that senior who adopted that new student and made a little family. That is His Kohai now okay megumi is their collectively raised flour sack baby and they will kill for him.

Yuuji came back to life finally met the second years had just leveled up with his cursed energy and gained a new dad got his old friends back he was so so ready to go live his best life and then his new self appointed brother opened his mouth and started rhapsodizing about some impossibly beautiful and perfect man named okkotsu yuuta and yuuji is absolutely whacked in the face a la rubber squeaky hammer that there’s some gorgeous son of a bitch out there already living his best life.

His death sentence was overturned. He’s so powerful that he can save everyone if he wants. He is the legally adopted child of Nanami Kento. The curse attached to him 1) actually liked him and 2) moved the fuck on which some people (Sukuna) could take a few notes on.

Fushiguro Megumi is his boy.

This could not have devastated him more thoroughly. Even his newly acquired self appointed brother thinks okkotsu yuuta is the perfect man, which he manages to express at length in between warnings from the second years that Yuuta’s going to fly back from Africa purely for the sake of kicking his fucking ass for touching His Boy, which yuuji simply cannot handle.

Yuuji lowkey had a new lease on life and thought “hey! Fushiguro tried to kill someone with an elephant for me! Maybe I have a shot and he’ll let me hold his hand!” and then there’s god’s perfect man off in Africa who’s enticing megumi away from movie marathons with his fucking FaceTime calls right when yuujis almost hyped himself up enough to try the yawning arm stretch thing.

He spends at least three weeks trying to figure out if Megumi’s His Boy because they’re in a long distance relationship and it only ends because maki starts finding it more annoying than funny and establishes that it is not in fact a romantic arrangement. She thinks. (Okay it’s still kind of funny.)

Yuuji resorted to a terrible wikihow on how to get someone to date you and it insisted “get their parents approval” was his in and gojo could NOT have been more of an asshole about it. Nanami had to intervene to get it to stop. He is very tired and very confused. Why are you so upset about okkotsu he’s a lovely young man why is this making you more upset

Of course if yuuji ever found out that megumi became Yuuta’s boy after Yuuta personally restarted his heart he’d instantly understand why everyone acts like Yuuta’s the best thing since sliced bread. He is that amazing.

Yuuta and Megumi are completely oblivious to all of this.

Gege pls call me I just want to help gege pls

[maxisanangrywell]

Hello friend, I think I might have mis-said some of what I meant.

Firstly, I did vote for Kamala. I sincerely wanted her to win, and for a few weeks thought she would. Then I started seeing more and more Leftists argue and bicker like they always do. Then, my hope vanished. Most Leftists who have a platform, aren't in High stakes areas where these things will hit hard and fast. Thankfully, my state grazed by the skin of our teeth as we elected Jeff Jackson as General Attorney and didn't get Mark Robinson at a governor.

Overall, I'm not saying we should tolerate hate or anything of that nature. But, we cannot deny all the data that shows the reality of the situation that men are choosing Trump because they feel more welcomed on the Right than the Left.

There's a way to grow a community where everyone feels loved and accepted, but not tolerate hate. I put a link to a man that does it very well in my comments but I'll put it here, along with two white men who have talked about their experiences with the Alt-Right/Neo-Nazi movement in America and how they escaped. Their stories of escaping are more similar than you think.

Most of my Ideology, is fueled by reports from WW2, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and most notibly Daryl Davis. A black man who has attended hundreds of KKK gatherings, and actually is responsible for turning many of those hateful racists into people who are now speaking out against hatred.

Now, I'm not saying everyone should do this. Everyone deserves to have their own assumptions and do what they wish, but I've seen his work in action. I've done what he's done. It's tiring, and it's a long process. But here's the thing.

The right is an echo chamber of ideas. There is no getting out unless you meet someone that challenges your views and expectations of the people you hate.

If we simply cut everyone off at the slightest hint of arrogance, there would be no people in the world to talk to number one, but two, these people would proceed to get even further into the pipeline and even more violent.

I was lucky enough that my viewpoints were challenged early. My brother not so much. My friend? Even less so. Did we crawl ourselves out of that hole because someone challenged our views on how the people we hated really act? Yes. That's what dragged us out. I used to hate queer people, and hide my own queerness. Now, I freely express it. All because of one selfless act.

We get so wrapped up in not wanting to interact with other people, that we forget they are people. No one deserves to hate other people just as those people don't deserve to be hated. It's exhausting and tiring on all ends of the spectrum, even more for the victim in this situation since they are receiving the violence.

My point being, we can't keep closing people off and just expecting them to get better. If you have an infection, and know you have an infection, why would you wait to see the doctor? You'd get started on the treatment right away. We need to treat these people as if they have an addiction, because these people are sick. Their minds are being fed propaganda at an alarming rate, and it's programming them into thinking and acting a certain way.

Now, absolutely punch the nazis. But tend their wound afterwards. Have conversations with them. One selfless act always inspires another, no matter who they are.

"Leftist" Rant

I'm lowkey so tired of calling myself a leftist. Every time I talk to another person, a man, woman or nonbinary person, trans, cisgender, queer BIPOC or Indigenous, there's ALWAYS someone taking the hit for something, somewhere.

I'm a firm believer in human rights. I believe humans shouldn't be controlled by a governing body but citizens should control it. I believe in fighting today a better tomorrow. But goddamn am I so tired of hearing how every time there's something good, it comes at the cost of the blood of another.

No, not all men are bad. Not all white people are bad. No one group of people is evil, and we shouldn't be demonizing any groups of people for any reason. White people need to recognize privilege, but everyone is taught to be wary of other people because of the circumstances of our forefathers or our own personal experiences.

It comes back to the, why can't we just be fucking people? What is so hard about opening your heart to other people's struggles, learning from them and loving them even if they hate you in return? Why do we care about the color of people's skin, or their sexual/gender orientation? Why can't we celebrate life, and celebrate love no matter the form it takes? It's so aggravating. No one should have to feel uncomfortable for who they are or choose to be. I'm so tired of leftists pushing white men out for being white men. I'm so tired of leftists pushing out black people for being black, and indigenous people for being indigenous. The movement isn't supposed to be about specific people, it's supposed to be about the betterment of ALL people.

The betterment of HUMANITY. We're all fucking human. It's aggravating when people try to gauge how human you are about how many minority points you can score. I've seen the ugliest of people, I'm watching a genocide unfold before my eyes. A climate crisis that threatens to kill us all.

But what I'm hearing is the sounds of drums, because everyone either wants to use it for their own gain, or have different ways of wanting to fix it.

Maybe it's because I'm young, I'm only 21. But god, am I fucking sick and tired of hearing people fight and argue. Most of us are on the same fucking side, and can't we get along? It's the only way we are going to survive. Bridging these gaps and healing the generational trauma. But you can't heal trauma if you're constantly taking it out on everyone around you and giving them trauma. I don't know. But I do know most of the men that voted for Trump in my life, did it because they felt pushed out of the movement. They felt demonized by the Harris and leftist voters. If we focused on being intersectional, on inclusion for EVERYONE, no one would feel left out or unwanted. Shouldn't that be our fucking goal in the first place? Healing ourselves and the climate, living alongside each other in blissful harmony? Isn't that what we all want and crave? To never look over our shoulders, just be able to grow and thrive with no laws about tradition or who we are or love?

I don't know about you, but I like the sound of it.

[fadeintoyou1993]

having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[im2tired4usernames]

Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I'm so glad I like my boss and we get along well and I LOVE that she liked to share petty complaints and listens to mine. Genuinely love when people are like "Hell yeah, complaints are welcomed and ENCOURAGED!"

[theghostofashton]

.

[transgender-catboy]

I love my friends

[neverendingford]

.

[glacierruler]

I want to start causing chaos, and breaking things and screaming. But I am not, because I am pretending to be a well behaved perfect granddaughter. Y'know, now that I think about it, I am Isabella from Encanto. Just pretending to be the perfect cishet child for my family. It's not fun.

[lo-sulci]

👵