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lostbookmark · 6 months ago

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WHISPERED SECRETS MASTERLIST here

MAIN MASTERLIST here

MDNI 🔞

Summary: After four years your sister's ex-boyfriend comes back into your life. Can you keep your entanglement a secret? Will the guilt eat you alive?

Pairing: Sisters ex Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader.

Genre: SMUT, angst, hurt - comfort, romance.

Warning: Explicit sex, fingering, Possessive Yoongi, swearing, reader is insecure, jealousy, punishment, unprotected sex, drinking, dirty talk, praising, very light degradation, spanking, spanking as punishment, teasing, hair pulling, arguments. Overuse of the name, baby.

A/N Edited by me aka I just throw commas in and see if my document corrects it.

Yoongi is a bit…mean(ish) in this one.

Yay!! I have the next 2 chapters written. Posting will be every Sunday US time.

A little SMUT under the cut.

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Kevin….Kris….Kihyun. No, none of those names sound right. He's good-looking and easy on the eyes, pretty smile but boring as hell. It's been a week since Yoongi took you home after the intense night you shared. You had stayed the night, and the next morning, you made up an excuse for needing to get home. You were scared to stay longer, afraid he would kick you out. He never questioned you or begged you to stay. You exchanged numbers, but he never contacted you. You felt defeated. You didn't tell anyone. Not Lisa or Jisoo. They would never let you live it down. Maybe this is why you let Lisa talk you into showing up at the ��hot guy she ditched you for” house party. His name is Jimin. He seemed okay, you guess, but you haven't really gotten to know him. Her love interests never last long. Key…Kang…Kyle. That's it! You think his name is Kyle.

“I just got back from Milan,” Kyle boasts. He is giving you what you think is probably his most charming smile. “I'll be heading to London again soon. Got quite a few photoshoots lined up. Mostly magazines, but I got a commercial too. I even have some contacts for Paris fashion week. I'm going to be a big deal.”

You really don't care, and you know that sounds mean. Why did Lisa introduce you to him? Did she really think you would hit it off with him? Damn Lisa for making you come here. Damn Yoongi for not calling or texting you. Damn him for making the feel of his touch still linger on your skin. Did you do something wrong? Were you just bad at sex. You know that you are pretty inexperienced, but it seemed like he enjoyed himself. He even cuddled you after he cleaned up with a warm washcloth. He was a pure gentleman. He even ran a hot shower for you as he made a quick snack afterward. You may or may not have tried to remember the brand of his shampoo. After some light bickering, he let you sleep on his side of the bed. So, why didn't he call? Was there someone else? Oh my god! Were you the side piece? Of course, someone like Yoongi would have someone waiting for him.

“Lisa said that you two have been friends since you were young. You work together too, right? ” Key…no Kyle said and you nod your head.

“Yeah, umm..” You started but were interrupted.

“Baby,” you turn to see Yoongi staring daggers at you. How the hell did he know you were here? You're pretty sure that your jaw is on the floor right now. Yoongi places himself right behind you. He rests his chin against your shoulder and hands coming together around your stomach. “Who's your friend?” Why does he say it so calmly despite his glaring eyes?

You freeze, your body rigid, and can't say anything. One week, it's been one week, and now he's right here. You don't know what to say. Are you supposed to throw yourself at him after he ignores you? You wish you could throw a shitty comment his way, but you don't. It's not who you are. You wish you could tell him that since he isn't interested, maybe you will go home with Kyle. He looks at you and Kevin…no Kyle impatiently. His glare, thankfully, is fully on Kyle now, and you don't want it back on you. Nope, you are definitely not going to say that, even if it’s a lie.

“Hey man, I'm Kai,” Kai that's his name! You knew it started with a k. “Didn't know she had a boyfriend. Lisa lied to me. Sorry about that.” Kai apologized and rushed out of there. Literally, he walked away as fast as his legs could carry him. You wish he would take you with him. Technically, you guess Lisa didn't lie.

You turn in his arms to look at Yoongi fully. He looks pissed. You don't know if you should be scared, angry, or turned on. Is it possible to be all three? His eyes looked hard, unlike a week ago. It seems like such a long time ago. Maybe it was just a fever dream, and you made it all up. This Yoongi is different, and it is making you anxious.

“We're leaving,” he breathes heavily in your ear.

He takes your hand and threads your fingers through each other. He starts heading for the door, and you have no option but to follow him. You don't want to fight him and cause a scene. You try looking around for Lisa, hoping you spot her. You don't see her, but you do catch a glimpse of Kyle…Kai chatting up another girl. She seems thoroughly excited about it. Good for her. Looks like you probably dodged a bullet there. When you get through the door, you notice his car just down the street a little ways. Lisa picked you up earlier, and now you're kicking yourself for it. Yoogi practically rips the car door open and looks at you expectantly. He holds the door with one hand while his other is on his hip.

“What are you waiting for?” He asked. His stare is still cold. “Do you want me to go get Kai for you? Do you need him to help you?”

“Wh…what? No, why would I…” you were cut off.

“Get in, baby. I'm already mad, don't make me tell you again,” he told you.

With one last look back at the house, you get in the car. The same car and spot you sat in a week ago. God, a week ago, you were shivering with anticipation. Now, you were confused and honestly a little scared. Where was he, and why was he acting like you had done something wrong? You knew deep down that Yoongi would never do anything to hurt you. However, this is a side of him you have never seen. You didn’t see it years ago either when he was still with your sister. Even during their fights at the end of their relationship. You even spent a lot of alone time with him back then, annoying him. He never snapped at you. When you couldn't figure out how to parallel park, he never snapped at you. When Lisa got you drunk at homecoming and he had to pick the two of you up, he never snapped at you. He never did anything like this.

“Cold?” He asks you. You're rubbing your hands together.

“A little,” you answer softly. You want him to grab your hands and warm them with his own. Instead he cranks the heat.

The only sound in the car was from the radio and the heat blowing on your cold fingers. You don't know what the song playing is, but the deep bass is slow. It's almost comforting. You want to close your eyes and drift to sleep. Maybe if you go to sleep right now, you'll wake back up in his bed, and you can redo everything. Obviously, that's not possible. Your eyes slide over to him. He's concentrating on the road, and there's a small tick in his jaw. His hand had stayed on the steering wheel. His knuckles were white with his grip. He didn't touch you, not even once. You want to cry. What did you do? Why is he so mad? How did he find you there? What did you do? The song on the speakers switched to something less moody, and your eyes moved to look out the passenger window. The sky is clear, the stars shine bright and twinkling in the late night sky. You didn't care for it. Not even one little bit.

That soft yellow glow of the bedroom was exactly the same. So were his sheets and pillows. The memories were completely vivid and fresh in your mind. The sound of your skin slapping together, his grunts and your gasps. The way he held you when you drifted off to sleep. You look at Yoongi sitting on the corner of his bed staring at you. His elbows resting on his knees and his right knee bouncing slightly You can't tell what he is thinking. You stand next to a large desk in his room. You think he must use it for work. There's messy paper everywhere and pens scattered all around. You try to focus and see what's on the paper but can't make out the scribbles. Poems, maybe? Does he write? You can't remember if he ever mentioned wanting to write back then. Maybe you didn't pay close enough attention.

“Look at me,” he snaps at you. Your eyes immediately obey his command. “What were you doing there with Kai?” Yoongi spits his name out in disgust.

“I…I..Lisa introduced us. We were just talking,” you said softly. “I don't know him.”

“So, you were just going to go off and fuck someone you don't know?” He asked and you were taken back. He was basically snarling at you.

“NO!” You cried out. “I wasn't.” You were getting worked up. “Why do you care? I haven't even heard from you in a week.” You shocked yourself by actually saying that outloud. Shit. You can't take it back now.

Yoongi didn't seem amused by your outburst. Cracking his neck, he stood up from the bed and stalked up to you. You wanted to take a step back, but that messy desk prevented you from doing so. Yoongi rests both his hands on the desk, caging you in. His breathing and the sound of your own heart beating in your ears ring loudly in your ears. He runs the tip of his nose against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps race down your arms. Your body betrays you, wanting you to give into him.

“You know,” he whispers in your ear. “The phone works both ways, baby. Get on your knees.”

You swallow thickly. You aren't exactly sure what he means. Right here on the floor? On the bed? You decide not to make him wait and drop to the floor right in front of him. Are you supposed to undo his pants? Is that what he wants? You have never given a blow job before. Maybe you can fake it and figure it out as you go. You’ve seen porn. Just don't bite him, and you'll be fine. Your hands reach up and start to undo his belt around his hips. Yoongi chuckles a humorless laugh as he swats your hands away. Oh, that's not what he meant. Tears well in your eyes out of embarrassment.

“On the bed. On your knees, ass up,” he snickers at you.

You stand up slowly and walk with your head down to the bed. You don't want him to see the unshed tears or your embarrassed face. You know it's red. Your knees hit his mattress, the sheets are still soft. You lean down onto your elbows as you look at him, and he shakes his head at you. God, you probably look like such an idiot for not knowing what to do. Yoongi walks over to you and puts his hands on the back of your shoulders, and pushes you gently down. Your chest and the side of your face meet the bed. He turns your head gently to look at the other side of the room. There's nothing to see over there besides his closet. You feel the dress that you're wearing starts to rise up. Yoongi next adjusts your hands. Making sure that your fingers are interlocked above your head. You feel him get closer to your face. His breath tickles your ear.

“Are you okay?” He asks you.

“Yes,” you say meekly.

“Good. Stop me anytime,” he tells you as he kisses below your ear. “You thought I was ignoring you? You think that’s why I didn't call you?” He asks, but you don't answer. You can feel him slip your dress completely up and over your ass as he stands behind you. “Yes or no, baby?”

“Yes,” SMACK! As soon as you answer, he spanks you. It wasn't overly hard but just enough to sting. Your body goes rigid, and your eyes widen comically in surprise. Oh! You honestly were not expecting that.

You wait for him to say something, but you're just met with silence. You don't feel his presence near you. You strain your ears to try and listen for him. Did he leave the room?

“Y..Yo..Yoongi?” you asked softly and he didn't respond.

Suddenly, there was a tick…tick..tick noise in the room. Slowly, you turn your head, and you see him sitting at his desk. His shirt is off, hair beautifully messy, pants undone, but nothing obscene showing. Tick…tick…tick. It's one of those music things, a metronome you think it's called. The pendulum swings back and forth again and again. Tick… tick…tick. Yoongi is watching you kneel on the bed while playing with it in his hands. He almost looks bored.

“Turn back around,” he tells you slowly. You turn your head back around. Tick…tick…tick. “You know what i was thinking all week?” He asks you. “I thought I was a horrible person. Did I force you here? Did I make you do something you didn't want? You wanted out of here so bad the next morning I thought you were going to have a panic attack.”

The chair groans a little bit. You can only assume that he got up. You can hear the clicking of his belt buckle as if he's walking to you. You anticipate his touch, but again, nothing. Tick…tick…tick. The oscillating noise is putting you on edge. The sound of his belt tells you he's close. Your breath is starting to come out as pants as adrenaline starts to flow through you. Your interlaced fingers twitching.

“I wanted to give you space. I see that was the wrong thing to do. Why didn't you get a hold of me, baby?” He asked. You still can't see him.

“I didn't want to bother you,” you mumble. SMACK! SMACK! You press your hands together tightly and screw your eyes shut. Tears blurred your vision as they started to fall. You sucked in a shuddering breath.

“You could never bother me. Instead of talking to me, you decided to ignore me to fuck around with Kai? How do you think that makes me feel?” His voice raises some. SMACK! His hand gently starts rubbing your reddened cheek. Soothing the stinging with his cool palm. You hear him take a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you say through tears. “I'm fine.” You really were. “I didn't…”

“What?” Yoongi asks. His hand is still gently rubbing your reddened skin.

“I thought you realized you made a mistake. I thought maybe I wasn't good enough for you. I'm not like my sister,” you hiccuped. You pressed your hands tightly together before he delivered the next smack. It never came. Tick…tick…tick.

“Why would you compare yourself to her? Why didn't you say anything?” He asked. His hand stroked some hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. The strands were wet from tears.

“Have you met me,” you try to joke through tears. You highly doubt Yoongi thinks it's funny. Yoongi leaned over to look at your tear stained face. Bending down, he kissed the tears away. You close your eyes and welcome him. He's here. The soft, gentle Yoongi is here now.

Yoongi moved again and stood behind you. He hooked his fingers into your underwear and slowly slid them down your legs. His fingertips tickled the outside of your thighs as they traveled down. He lifted your knees one at a time so he could completely remove them from your body. Then, nothing. Why does he keep disappearing on you? You were tempted to turn and look for him again. Tick…tick..tick. Suddenly, his tongue is on you. You close your eyes and sigh, escape your lips , and fingers tighten together. You push your hips back against his face to get him closer. His tongue swirls magical circles against your bundle of nerves. One week, and you realize how much you missed this. How starved for his touch you were. You should have made the first move. This all could have been avoided. He was right. You didn't think about how he felt. You shouldn't have gotten in your own head. You always get in your own head. Yoongi pulls away. Disappointment floods through your body. Disappointment doesn't last, though. You hear his belt rattling, and pants hit the ground. He roughly pulls your body to him in one smooth move. Your own clothed back to his naked front. He gently tangles his hand in your hair, pulling your head back. Just like that, gentle Yoongi is gone. Dipping his head, he slants his mouth over yours. Tongue demanding entrance. You relax and press your tongue against his, tasting yourself on him. Soon, he lets go of your lips and hands roughly yank your dress down to your waist. You thrust your hips back with an arch of your back. He's hard.

“Still good?” He asks again, hands and slowly coming up to cup your naked breasts. His fingers tweak your nipple. It sends a jolt right down to your core.

“Yes, Yoongi,” you reply somewhat breathlessly.

Yoongi pushes you forward so you were down on the bed again. Chest flush with the bed, ass in the air. His hands grip your hips, bringing you back to him. You feel him run his cock up and down your wet folds. Dipping the head in and taking it back out. He does this several times and it's driving you mad. You try to swivel your hips but he completely backs off with an airy laugh. SMACK! He slaps your ass once more. Grabbing your hair again, he pulls you up savagely against him. His arm crosses over your chest, hand on your shoulder. He's supporting your weight against him. You tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. Chest rising and falling with every pant of your breath.

“I should have fucked you in front of him,” he hisses in your ear. “That way you wouldn't have to doubt me again. Everyone at that party would know your mine now. Kai….Lisa….Jimin.”

Yoongi's free hand cups your pussy, giving you teasing strokes. Teasing just like before. Fingers enter you shallowly just to pull back quickly. You look at him and you don't even have time to question him before he's answering you.

“How do you think I found you tonight? We work together, baby. He likes talking about Lisa.” He explains with a chuckle. “Lisa… she likes to talk about setting her pretty little friend up with a date, but her friend is kind of shy. I took the chance that she was talking about you. Lucky me, huh,” Yoongi answers you as his fingers finally start pumping into you. Your wet, you thought maybe too, went given the situation. Your noises make it obvious how much you are enjoying this. “Too bad you're not available. Kai was pretty good-looking.”

“Please, I'm sorry. I need you. Yoongi, please,” you beg him. Yoongi kisses your neck. Lightly sucking on your sweat slicked skin as his fingers pump into you faster. Marking you, making you his.

Yoongi lets his grip on you go. You fall to the bed and scramble to get back onto your knees in front of him. You lift your head and look over your shoulder at him. Trying to beg him with your eyes to do something…anything. Tick…tick…tick. Yoongi finally grips your hips and pulls you back to him. Leaning over you, he places you exactly like he had you before. Chest flush with the bed, hands above your head. Rubbing your red marks with his hand, he deals one more blow before he sinks all the way into you. You sigh. He feels like home.

Tagged reader

@unicornbabylover

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imagine--if · 1 year ago

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hey! i hope your doing well, i would love to see anything fluffy for mike (headcanons, blurbs, whatever you feel like suits it most!) - he deserves the whole world and sm more to me 😭

A/N: I get youuuu, hope you enjoy 😁 started off with the relationship hcs but let me know if you wanna see anything more specific!!

Warnings: FNAF movie spoilers, mentions of violence

⋆✮ Dating Mike Schmidt Includes: ✮⋆

➳ Mike's been through a hell of a lot ever since his little brother got kidnapped, so I'm seeing major protectiveness and sometimes even clinginess involved from him when you end up dating because 😭 guy's been through stuff and he's not letting anyone else he's close to get hurt

➳ To be honest, at first he's pretty closed-off with people, vulnerable with a tough exterior, so if you meet him in some scenario where you're tied up with the Freddy's murders and job, he'll try to be distant and professional and all... ending up failing 🙃

➳ Eventually you start. talking more about personal things, hobbies your lives, and he'll mention his sister Abby and having to take the job because he needs the money and is in the middle of the custody situation with his sister. He's got a lot going on and the trauma of what happened all those years ago still wringing at his guilt, so being able to talk with someone who doesn't judge in a relaxed place is a nice change for him having to be on guard all the time.

➳ When Mike befriends you, which is what happens first, he's got your back. If you need someone to vent to or hang out with or whatever, he'll do whatever he can to help, and when it comes to you being in a sticky situation or someone trying to hurt you or play you, he always seems to realise and is in no way afraid of confrontation to get them to back off.

➳ Like if William tries sizing you up a bit... and Mike gets annoyed with that cool, defensive glare as he asks if he needs anything (I've got to make an imagine of this nowwww). I think Mike would only realise that he's actually jealous if you teased about it, or if he really loses his temper with someone that's not leaving you alone or something. Then it really nags at him and makes him think about actually liking you as more than a friend, and then that initial reluctance because everyone he gets close to seems to have something bad happen to them, like it's a curse. At the end of the day, he just wants you to be safe.

➳ It would take something big for Mike to confess to you, unless you take the first step (aka Abby begging you to tell him you like him too because she's getting bored of him not concentrating on what she's talking to him about or the conversation somehow curving to you and the stuff you're into). Maybe you're attacked at Freddy's and you're all in on the crisis together when Mike stands firmly in front of you when William reveals himself, or he shoves you out the way so you won't get hurt, ultimately jumping in front of the threat without a worry of him getting hit instead. It's then that he realises how much he needs you in his life, how he needs you alive because you add some joy to it that he hasn't felt in all these years, a change from the darkness that his head's stuck in.

➳ It all comes out of him in a rush as he looks you up and down with wild eyes and a firm grip, asking if you're alright and saying in a rush that "you're one of the most important people in the world to me, and I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt... I- I couldn't live with myself, okay?!"

➳ Okayyy Mike, just kiss them 😏

➳ After you fight Afton together and get Vanessa looked after, you can finally breathe and properly start dating, which includes that familiar protectiveness and slight clinginess... and also being best friends with his little sister, which you 100% would be. You'd spend time drawing or chatting or playing random games while Mike was out working, eliminating the need for a babysitter because you're the perfect fit and get along with her great. And when he is home, you do a lot of stuff together, like a mini family, and there's finally that security and stability in that life she needed.

➳ I feel like Abby would find it hilarious to tell you all the sappy things Mike says about you on the rare occasions where you're not around, ending in Mike's cheeks flushing beet red and him picking her up and whirling her around playfully until she's in fits of laughter. "I heard Mike say that he found another reason to keep going when he realised he was in love wi- hey!!"

➳ Mike would be a bit clingy, again because of what happened with Garret; Mike being distracted for one moment and then blaming himself for the rest of his life because it was that moment where his brother was taken and killed. So if you are out, on a date or just around, this guy will not leave your side. He's the kind of person to text you again and again if you don't respond to the first message, and it's kind of cute how much he worries, but then he doesn't need to, and every now and then he'll need your reassurance that you guys are safe and that you won't leave him, which stills ends with him burying his face in your neck for a long tight hug for a while.

➳ MIKE'S A BIG HUGGER. CHANGE MY MIND.

➳ Whether you're watching a movie with him and Abby, or you're out on a date or sleeping or whatever, Mike will always have some contact with you if you've told him you're okay with it: fingers linked under the table, pressed into his side while you're watching TV (with an affectionate forehead kiss every five minutes 🥺) or being half crushed to death while you're trying to sleep when he rolls onto you and traps you under his leg... good luck if you need to go to the bathroom. Chances are he'll end up trailing after you with mumbled protests.

➳ That protectiveness always kicks in when someone looks at you for too long, or in a way that he doesn't like the look of, or if you're obviously uncomfortable with. If you're quick, you can just convince him to walk away and you two go somewhere else, because Mike will end up getting annoyed and giving the guy a line to get him to make them go away. If he's not careful, he might end up getting in a fight again, but he'll really try not to when you tell him off for it and promise him that things are okay and you're not going anywhere.

➳ You and Abby are basically Mike's world, after all that's happened, there are only really two people left that he truly cares for and would do anything for. Once you're in a relationship with him, he'll do everything he can to make sure you're safe and won't have to go through anything he had to. If ever you're upset, he'll listen for hours with no judgement and major support, whatever mood you're in somehow rubbing off on him. Mike will admit his feelings in a rush, and when he does, he's not afraid to tell you that he loves you whenever you need to hear it, or whenever he wants to say it and wants you to be reminded. It's something that you can never doubt.

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numinousmysteries · 1 month ago

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@poangsecretsanta

[on Ao3]

Vrooom, vrooom, let's basketball! For the delightful @xf-cases-solved aka diz who loves Milagro:

Agent Scully is already in love .

The words taunt him as she digs her nails into his back. She's crying hot tears onto the shoulder of his sweater and clinging to him like a life raft in a storm. He tries to focus on the thumping of her heart against his chest, the frantic breaths she gasps into his ear—signs that she’s alive, that he hasn’t lost her—but he can’t get Padgett’s words out of his mind.

Padgett's a liar and a murderer, he tells himself. The guy would say anything to get a rise out of him.

But he loves her. He's known for years although he doesn't know how to admit that to her, or even to herself. The possibility that she could feel the same way is too overwhelming to even consider. And the potential consequences too enormous.

The paramedics arrive and give her a preliminary exam on his living room couch. Despite the volume of blood on her clothing, there doesn't seem to be an entry or exit wound and her vitals are normal. They offer a ride to the hospital just to be safe, but she declines.

"Alright," one of them says, slightly baffled. "Well, don't hesitate to call us again or come into the ER if your condition changes."

“Yes,” she says, her voice firm, the Dr. Dana Scully tone she uses for the rest of the world. For everyone except him.

He shows them to the door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks her once they're alone.

"Yeah, I think so," she says softly.

"Why don't I get you a change of clothes? Or, do you want to take a shower?"

"I-I'm not sure," she says and he realizes she's shaking.

"Oh Scully, come here," he says, taking a seat next to her on the couch and opening his arms to her.

Her lower lip trembles as she closes her eyes and rests her head on his chest. He wraps his arms around her and rubs soothing circles on her back. Her blood stains his sweater, marking him.

"It's okay," he says. He leans down to kiss the crown of her head. It's warm and damp with sweat. She smells like fear.

He hears her sniffling and trying to catch her breath. After a few moments of sobbing, her breathing slows down and becomes more measured. He feels her pulling back and he releases her from his embrace.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I should go."

"Hey, wait, Scully," he says, grabbing her onto her wrist to keep her from rising from the couch. "You don't have to go just yet. I don't know if you should be driving like this."

"I'm fine," she says, although her warbling voice betrays her vulnerability.

"If you think I care about anything he wrote in that book—"

"Oh, Mulder, stop," she protests, but he continues.

"He didn’t know you at all. It was just the fantasies of a mad, lonely man."

"That's the thing," she sighs. "I think he did know me. Some of that was eerily accurate. It was almost like he was profiling me. I felt so exposed."

"But not all of it, obviously," he says.

"You mean, that I’m not in love?”

He pauses, frozen in his tracks. He meant the part about her sleeping with Padgett. He wasn't expecting they'd actually discuss that part.

"Scully, I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about it."

She sucks in her top lip and bows her head, tears still wet on her face.

"What would that mean?" She asks. "I mean, to you? What would it mean to you if I were in love?"

He's confused, tiptoeing carefully around her question. "Well, I'd buy the lucky guy a beer to congratulate him. Let him know he's in for a lifetime of being second-guessed. But also that I'm damn jealous of him for getting to spend it with you."

A soft laugh catches in her throat and turns into a cough. "Mulder," she starts, looking down at her hands in her lap. "You know there's no one else...in my life."

"No one else besides..?"

She sighs again, this time more in frustration, and looks up at him with wet, blue eyes. "You're really going to make me say it?"

"I don't want to assume anything. But if you were to say you were in love with me, I'd assure you that there's nothing in the world that would make me happier. And that the feeling is more than mutual."

She stares at him in stunned silence and he immediately wants to take his words back. Not because they aren’t true, but because he isn’t sure he’s ready to face their implications.

“Shit, Scully, I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said that. You’re in shock.”

“No,” she says quietly but resolutely, bringing a small palm to the center of his chest. Her touch feels firm. “I feel the same way. I have for a long time.”

“I’m flattered, truly,” he stammers. “But it doesn’t have to change anything between us. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it weren’t for Padgett and I don’t think we should give him that much power.”

He expects her to withdraw her hand but she doesn’t. With each fervent beat of his heart he feels the gentle but assured pressure of her touch. Not for the first time, he feels as if his heart will stop beating if she pulls away.

“Can we really go back, though?” She asks, her eyes pleading. “To the way we were before?

He thinks, No, please, anything but that. He says, “Of course we can. We’ve made it through far worse.”

“Maybe I don’t want to go back,” she says quickly, just barely above a whisper and he freezes.

“Well, then.” He doesn’t recognize his own voice. It sounds strangled in his throat and he’s terrified of saying the wrong thing. Or the right thing. “Then maybe we don’t have to. What's stopping us?"

"I'm scared," she admits, with a furrow of the soft skin in between her eyebrows.

"I am, too," he says softly, stroking her back with one broad palm, feeling muscles easing underneath his hand.

She stares at him in puzzled amazement and he fears he's gone too far. But he sees her lips starting to part and they simultaneously lean in to meet in an impossibly soft, delicate kiss. It's sweet and sad and endearing. They're both scared to push the envelope so they barely move as their lips touch, as if just getting used to the sensation of touching in this way. It feels ancient and new at the same time. Like coming home while also jettisoning out of the earth’s orbit.

She sucks in a sharp breath of air and pulls away.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"No, no," she says quickly. "Please don't apologize. I want this so badly, too, trust me. I just...I don't know what it will look like. How it will change things between us."

"I don't know either," he admits. "But I think it's worth a try."

He has all the same questions she has. Do they keep this a secret? Can they ever be seen in public as more than just coworkers? Can they sleep over each other's apartments? They've been followed and trailed and bugged before so they know any change in their normal activities would quickly get noticed by their enemies. Although, in light of recent events, it seems that the group of men who've been conspiring against them might be much smaller in numbers now.

"I don't know what this will look like," he reiterates. "But I don't think I could live without you."

She nods solemnly. "What if they use this as an opportunity to tear us apart?"

"Who? The bureau?" he asks. "I'd quit. I don't care. You're more important than all of this."

She pauses thoughtfully as his proclamation washes over her. He knows what he's saying and he means it. Six years ago he told her nothing else mattered beyond finding his sister. At the time it was true. But six years later, his priorities have shifted. He's been lied to and fucked over too many times to genuinely believe that the truth about his sister is knowable. And if it is, he'll only find it with Scully at his side.

He told her once that she made him a whole person and it's truer now more than ever. Losing her would be worse than losing a part of himself.

"I want to try then," she says, embarking on this shift in their relationship with the same seriousness she applies to everything she does. Scully does not leap without looking. He felt hurt in the past when she had her one-night stand with Ed Jerse, confused how she could do something so rash and frankly, stupid, but he realized she was only able to act so quickly because it meant so little to her. When the stakes are high, she takes her time.

"Me too," he says.

She gives a little laugh out of overwhelm. "We're talking a lot about this for people who have just barely kissed."

He smiles, feeling love and warmth emanating off her. "Well, I plan to change that as soon as possible. Why don't we get you in the shower to clean off and take it from there? Only if you're, um, comfortable of course." He wants this so badly but he also doesn't know if he wants their first time to be marred by the brutality of this attack.

"I think I'll be very comfortable with that," she says. "Will you join me in the shower?"

"Pull my leg.”

She rolls her eyes at him and he remembers, It’s Scully . No matter how their relationship changes, they’ll still bicker and disagree and she’ll still give him that look.

He stands up and offers her his hand. She takes it and he leads her to the bathroom. The water takes a moment to warm up so he twists the knob first before addressing their clothing. She's already discarded her jacket on the sofa when the paramedics were examining her, so he starts with slowly unbuttoning her bloodied blouse. He moves so slowly, wanting to memorize this moment. He wishes there wasn't any blood.

After each button, he looks up at her, silently asking for permission to keep going. Her pupils are big and glassy but she nods each time they make eye contact so he continues. Her skin is soft and unbroken underneath her shirt but still marked red with blood. Her skin goose-pimples from the cold so he pulls her into his chest before sliding the shirt off her shoulders.

"I love you," he whispers into her hair. "You know that, right? I've loved you for so long."

She leans against his body and sniffles.

"I know," she says, and he kisses the part in her scalp, the white skin where her red hair originates. "I love you, too.”

He returns to undressing her, moving more quickly now as he's eager to get her into the warm shower. Once she's naked in front of him, he pauses for just a moment to admire her before quickly pulling off his sweater and t-shirt and stepping out of his jeans. Her intellect and integrity loom so large in his mind that he forgets how physically small she actually is. He can span her waist with two hands. He’s terrified of what a man with less noble intentions could do.

They take the final step into the shower together. She gasps when the hot water hits her skin and he feels a jolt of panic before seeing her visually relax in front of him. She closes her eyes and tilts back her head. On the shower floor beneath them, the tide runs scarlet.

The water is hot but she's still shivering so he pulls her in, wrapping his arms around her, pushing his torso into hers.

He imagines Padgett touching her like this, his leering gaze lingering on her skin as he skimmed his hands over her breasts, her waist, her hips. He grips her more forcefully imagining how much this stranger wanted to do this to her, but never will. Mine , he thinks to himself as he goes in for another deep kiss, his hands on her neck feeling her stubborn, insistent pulse. She perseveres.

"I want–" she says into his chest. She doesn't finish her sentence but he knows what she wants. He wants it, too.

He takes a step back, still with his arms around her but at a distance so they can meet each other's eyes.

"There's no going back after this," he says. "You know that, right?"

Even amid the running water he can see tears forming in her eyes.

"No going back," she promises. Her voice is firm, strong. It’s the voice he’s come to trust above all others.

He's kissing her again, this time without hesitation, searching furiously within her mouth with his tongue as his hands explore her body. He's hard, now, aching for her and he doesn't shy away when he feels her soft belly press against his erection.

The water is running clear now, all the blood rinsed off her skin. He reaches for the faucet handle, seeking approval in her eyes. She nods and he turns the water off. Without stepping out of the shower, he reaches for the nearest towel, wrapping it around her. She's shivering so he brushes his hands vigorously against the cloth, hoping to warm her up. He's still wet, naked in front of her but he doesn't care. There's only one towel on the rack. Why would there be another? He always thought he'd die alone here. It's been years since he knew she was it for him. Either she'd come around or she wouldn't and he'd have to be content with their friendship. But now she's here. Naked in his shower wrapped in his only towel.

"Just a second," he says. He pads out of the shower, leaving a trail of wet footprints through to his bedroom where he finds an old threadbare towel in the closet. It smells vaguely mildewy but he doesn't care. He just needs to get himself sufficiently dry. He towels himself off then tosses it in the corner of the bathroom and returns to her.

"Cold?" He asks.

“A little, yeah.”

He embraces her once again, the towel she's clutching under her chin the only thing between them.

"Come get warm."

He guides her to his bed, pulling the sheet and coverlet over her, lifting her wet hair up on the pillow she lies on so it spreads out around her like a halo.

"You," she says.

He knows what she means. He slips under the covers to hold her against him. He's kissing her neck and whispering I love you, I love you, I love you into her collarbones when she stops shaking.

She snakes a hand between them and she feels her small, thin hand wrap around his cock. He gasps, involuntarily, the novelty of a touch that isn't his own for the first time in years is enough to set him off. The knowledge that it's Scully's hand is enough to make him cry.

"We don't have to...tonight," he says.

"I want to," she says.

"Well then I'm not going to argue with you," he says, smiling. She grins back at him and he feels the weight of the universe lifting off him.

“That’s a first.” She grins. It’s a challenge and an invitation.

He pushes himself up so he's on top of her, kissing her hard as she holds his rigid cock in her hand. Then, he starts working his way down her body, giving a little sigh when he's low enough that she has to release him. He wants this to last forever. He doesn't know if they'll have another chance. If she'll wake up in the morning and realize she was acting on fear and adrenaline and tell him this can never happen again. It's entirely possible, so he wants to savor every moment in case this is their only time. He wants to see her body respond in pleasure, instead of fear or pain.

She's already moaning by the time he makes his way to her navel. He tongues the concavity, then turns his head to face her gunshot wound. It's only a few months old, still dark and angry against her pale skin. He kisses that, too.

Lower still, he gently parts her legs with his palms, pausing to glance up and lock eyes with her. He’s looking for a nod, a sign she wants him to keep going. She keeps her gaze steady on him, though, then opens up her legs further and wraps her calves around his back.

He’s seen her naked before, but never like this. Never so open, so vulnerable and welcoming, and he knows how significant this is for her. For both of them. He presses a kiss on her mons, the soft hair still damp from the shower. He smells his own soap but underneath that, her . She tenses her thighs around him and lets out a little frustrated gasp that makes him smile to himself.

He can’t deprive her what she wants. He gives her leg a squeeze, then licks her slowly, running his tongue from her opening up to the hood of her clit. That last part makes her gasp again and he focuses solely on her clit next, pursing his lips to suck while teasing her with his tongue. Just like he’s learned nearly everything there is to know about her over the years—when she’s truly angry at him or just needs a lame joke to break the tension; the way she licks her lip when she’s pondering a mystery—he takes the time to learn what she likes. She isn’t loud, but he seems to be expertly interpreting each of her little sounds as her body responds around him and she grinds her hips up to meet him.

“Mulder—” she calls out and squeezes his shoulder.

He stops suddenly, panicking that he's done something wrong. She reads him easily, though, and gives him a reassuring smile. “Get up here,” she whispers.

He kisses his way back up her body until they’re face to face.

She takes the lead now, pulling his head down to meet hers and kissing him hungrily. He’s achingly hard against her and terrified he isn’t going to last long enough to make this memorable.

“Can I?” He whispers into her, grinding against her like a teenager.

She answers by reaching down and guiding him inside her. She’s wet but so, so tight and he looks to her to make sure she isn’t in pain as he lowers himself down into her inch by inch. He’s trying to move slowly, fighting against every instinct in his body to plunge fully inside her. She takes him out of his misery by sliding her hands around to palm his ass and bring him closer to her.

“You feel incredible,” he whispers into her ear.

He wants to remember every sensation—the warmth of her breath on his neck, the smell of her sweat, the grip of her inner walls around his dick.

They start moving in unison, their bodies finding a rhythm that mirrors the intellectual volley they’ve established over the years. Burying his face in the curve of her shoulder, he hears her moaning into his ear. Thankfully, it seems like she’s close because he doesn’t think he can last much longer.

“Oh, Mulder,” she purrs as her orgasm ripples through her body. His name on her lips is enough to make him surrender, thrusting quicker and harder until he comes hard inside her. The scope of his universe is suddenly reduced to their bodies, tangled and intertwined on his bed.

Coming down from his high, he rolls off of her. Without speaking, they turn to face each other. Burgeoning tears blur his vision. He blinks to see her more clearly and she wipes them off his cheekbones with her thumbs.

“That was…” He pauses, struggling to find the words adequate to describe the immensity of his emotions.

“Perfect,” she finishes for him.

Their lips meet and this time the kiss is languid and indulgent. Worn out from physical exertion and emotional exhaustion, they take their time. His fear that she’d immediately regret what they did and they’d have to go back to being partners evaporates. It’s not an ending. They’re evolving into something new. Just as they’ve gone from coworkers to friends, the road to this next level of their relationship, he knows, won’t always be smooth but will be more than worth the journey.

#poangpresents2024 #poangpals #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #msr

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treacheryinblue · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter 3/4

Noah Sebastian x F!Reader Series

Word Count: 8.9k

Masterlist

× Summary: Noah is Death, the ruler of the after life (or whatever you want to call it), though he is cursed to watch you come and go from his never ending existence time and time again.

× Warnings!: Eh-level smut (P in V obviously), language, little bit of violence, tiny fluff if you squint, very slight dom!noah, smut with plot aka this became more in depth than I meant for it to aka a one shot that's now a series. Non-proofread smut. Let me know if I missed anything!

× Author's Notes: ( 1 ) It's a bit of a long one, folks! Consider it a thank you for being so patient while I've worked through my writer's block. ( 2 ) Don't look too deep into the lore I've created because there's probably a lot that doesn't make sense. But if you are curious, then feel free to ask me any questions! ( 3 ) I'm but a writer that thrives off positive feedback (or even constructive criticism), so don't be shy when it comes to interacting with the post, or even me.

Happy reading! xoxo

“That soul is not meant for this land, my lord.”

Silence was given as a response.

“She is not destined to be here, and you know what will hap-”

“Yes, I am well aware of the consequences to my actions.” Noah heavily exhaled, though he appeared uninterested in the conversation.

Sitting atop his throne, black and sleek, one hand gripped the arm rest while the other was bent and lifted to his face. He examined his nails, further showing his boredom.

“Please forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, my lord, but…the Light Ones are not happy. It has been nine times now and each plays out just like the last.”

A growl was emitted from him, dark eyes flickering to the creature who stood below. “I do not need you reciting my failures to me, demon.”

Noah couldn't bear to think of how you had been ripped from him countless times now. Pried from his hands. Stolen away. You had spent centuries together, longer than any human could dream of living - if one could call you alive - but he knew an infinite amount of centuries more would never be enough. He needed forever.

“If the Light Ones think I'm going to give up just because they look down upon my doings, then they are sorely mistaken. Maybe they aren't as all knowing as they like to remind us of every chance they receive.” He spat with disdain.

The demon clamped their mouth shut in fear that they may further anger the embodiment of darkness sitting before them. This is how they remained for a long moment, neither speaking, but the demon holding many questions on their pointed tongue.

“‘My lord…” they cautiously began after a moment. “Might I ask…what is it about this girl that you're so drawn to? You encounter humans everyday, thousands of them, but none have made you so…”

“Weak?” Noah finished the demon’s sentence for them, his eyebrows quirked.

The demon immediately fell to their knees, their jagged forehead pressing to the marble floor as if to already begin begging for forgiveness.

“No! I would never say as such, my lord!”

Noah shook his head as his focus returned to his nails, just as the ruby encrusted dagger appeared within his grasp out of thin air.

“There's no need to grovel,” he exclaimed while turning the dagger, inspecting every inch of the blade. “I have become weak when it comes to her…but I don't have an answer for you as to why.”

It was still a mystery even to him.

“Does Death itself not deserve the chance to love and to be loved in return, though?”

× × ×

“Legend says it's cursed.”

You snorted a laugh as you looked up at the friendly face across the counter, though his expression was as serious as ever, causing your smile to falter slightly.

“Cursed?” Might as well indulge him a bit if he was going to get all mega serious on you now.

Nicholas was your go-to guy when it came to purchasing oddities and strange artifacts. He was good at tracking down the specific items you'd ask for but he also had a knack for snagging things he thought you'd find interesting.

Your eyes dropped to the dagger as you leaned into the glass countertop. There was a twitch in your fingers to reach out and touch the item, to feel the cool metal against your fingertips, though you knew better. Nick was typically pretty light hearted and you two could share a laugh, but you knew when to stay within your lane when it came to his business. Don't touch it until he offers it to you.

“From what I could find online, it's ancient, so old that no one can really say for sure how long it's been around. And you know how it goes with old things - always a curse or some shit attached to them.”

Nodding in agreement to his words, your eyes paused upon the faintly noticeable sigil that remained etched into the dagger’s blade. The sigil is why you wanted the item, what you had asked Nick to search for in particular.

“It's probably bullshit,” he continued, “but it was something about going to the flames if you're on the end of the blade.”

“The website was in some foreign language and the guy I bought it from barely spoke English so I can't give you an accurate translation yet. Who even knows if it's legit.”

The bell above the door dinging briefly overtook Nicholas' attention. He held a finger up to you to silently tell you to ‘hold on’, then he stepped around the counter to greet his new patrons.

“It's legit,” you softly spoke to yourself as you gazed upon the dagger again. There was something drawing you to it; a warmth, a knowing. Your eyes focused in on the cloudy rubies - you knew they'd shine again with a thorough cleaning - and they pulled you closer and closer, your sights now level with the item. Had there been a flicker within the largest stone? Couldn't be. Your eyes were clearly playing tricks on you now.

As Nick returned, you straightened your posture and smiled. “I'll take it.”

“What?” Nicholas opened his mouth to speak but then only breathed out, his head tilting slightly to the side.

“You know I have to charge you as if it's real, right? I mean, I haven't been able to fully inspect it myself or do anymore research, so I feel kinda like an asshole doing th-”

“Nick, it's fine.” You laughed while retrieving your wallet from your bag, fingers digging into the slot that held your credit card. “It's a chance I'm willing to take.”

“Alright…it's your money.”

A few minutes later and your new purchase was packaged and ready to go. Nick approached you with an outstretched hand that held the blood red box the dagger was stashed away in, uncertainty in his eyes. You knew he hated not knowing all the ins and outs of his inventory, especially when it came to something with such a hefty price tag.

“Are you coming tonight?” He asked as you accepted the box which was now being held close to your chest.

“It's the first show with our new singer but he's been fucking great in rehearsals. Really has an ear for the band.”

You nodded, again flashing a friendly smile. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

After a bit more chit chat and hammering down the finer details on how the night would go, you said your goodbyes to Nicholas with the obvious promise of seeing him in a few short hours.

Making your way out of the shop, phone in hand and AirPods nestled in your ears, you only looked up when you were about to cross the street. On the opposite side stood a man, his dark eyes set entirely on you. He was wearing all black with deep brown hair that brushed his cheeks, hands clasped behind his back. Something about him made your stomach do a flip and you felt a pull despite having no idea who this man was.

Slowly, your feet began to carry you along the crosswalk. He remained in place, though a faint smirk dared to appear over his lips. Your cheeks flushed crimson and you had the urge to glance away like some timid little school girl, but there was something preventing you from looking anywhere but at him.

“Come.”

A voice drifted into your mind and then back out as if being carried by the wind. You knew that should've frightened you but you felt nothing. Nothing aside from the biting need to be near this unknown man.

Then, he was suddenly gone and you were left empty.

The blaring beep of a horn shook you, your body flinching in surprise from the sudden harsh noise. You looked over to the car that was inches from colliding with you, a hand waving all about behind the windshield and motioning for you to get the fuck out of the way.

× × ×

Arms above your head, you loudly hollered along with the rest of the crowd as the song came to an end. Red lights flashed all around you, the stage illuminating and going fully dark in quick succession. Your hands collided in a fury of claps before lowering to cup around your mouth.

“Wooooo!” You had never been much of a ‘woo girl’ but alcohol made it loads more enjoyable to do.

You could feel the vibrations from both the noise you projected and the bass of the band in the hollow of your stomach, reverberating throughout your entire being. There was something sensual about it - being able to not only hear the music but also feel it.

Nicholas’ band had been pretty decent before so coming to see them and support their gigs was never an issue. But now? They were fucking amazing. The new singer definitely added to whatever they had been lacking previously, even if there wasn't anything specific you could put your finger on.

Did it help that the new singer happened to catch your eye a few times? Maybe.

“Hey!” Nicholas yelled out for you after their set. He had found you at the bar towards the back of the club - just where you always were.

“Hey yourself!” You called back as a fresh drink was set in front of you by the bartender.

Nick rolled his eyes at you but still chuckled. Sweat beaded on his forehead, pupils blown from the adrenaline rush he had experienced while on stage. You always thought Nick was pretty cute and you both had a lot in common - he had even asked you out once - but things were better kept as friends between the two of you. As well as the occasional artifacts dealer, of course.

“Didn't get a chance to see you before we went on, so let me introduce you to the newest member.”

“Noah!” The guy spoke up for himself, his voice loud enough for him to be heard over the commotion of the crowd and also the next band setting up.

You paused as your gaze met his, eyes squinting ever so slightly while taking in his face from this new close proximity. He looked just like the ethereal man you had seen outside of Nick’s shop earlier, but also…not. That guy had been finely dressed with much shorter hair and a presence about him that demanded attention, this guy in front of you was the epitome of a 'guy in a band'. Long hair, jeans blown out at the knee, worn Vans that told you he dressed for comfort. Their smiles were the same, though.

Instead of giving your name, you opted for a question. “Do you have a brother?”

Noah extended to you a look of confusion though you swore you saw a mischievous gleam in his dark eyes.

“Uh, no? Not that I know of.” Despite your weird question, he laughed and stepped a bit closer to you, his elbow leaning into the side of the bar top.

Nicholas had fallen into conversation with another band mate, leaving just you and Noah to entertain each other.

You spared him the explanation of why you had asked such a question. The last thing you needed was to seem creepy or more odd than you already did on a day to day basis. Thankfully it didn't seem as if that was going to deter him from cozying up to you at the end of the bar.

Drink after drink was had with a couple of shots downed in between. You had found out that Noah had recently moved to Los Angeles, worked at a graphic design company, owned a cat, and shared a building with a rather odd Asian woman that liked to bring him homemade meals multiple times a week.

You also discovered that you liked the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled too wide and how he was always touching his face as if it was a comforting habit of some sort.

“Nick said you like to collect…unusual things?”

You cleared your throat and abruptly averted your gaze before he could realize you had been staring.

“I guess that's one way to put it,” you admitted with a sheepish smile. Not even the alcohol could mask the embarrassment.

“My dad was an antiques dealer, scam artist, whatever you want to call it.” You paused to take a swallow from your glass but to also let your honesty sink in.

“So, I kinda just grew up with old objects that told a story. Buying them for myself - as someone who will care for them and their story - sounds better to me than allowing them to be on display in a stuffy museum somewhere.”

“That's why you bought the dagger?”

Huh…had you mentioned the dagger to him? Maybe not. Maybe so. Maybe Nick told him about it. Either way, you took in a deep breath, your head swimming from the alcohol.

“Not exactly…”

Noah looked at you curiously, silently asking for you to continue. To tell him. But how were you to explain that you awoke one day with this nagging obsession for the sigil stamped on the blade? That you desired to find every single item you possibly could that bore the same marking? It was impossible to divulge because you had no idea why you had become so hell bent on acquiring these things. You didn't even know what the damned sigil meant.

“Did you want to see it?”

And like he had been waiting for you to ask, Noah flashed a devilish grin.

“I'd love to.”

× × ×

Pleasure erupted throughout your entire body as Noah kneeled between your spread legs. His hands held tight to your hips, pulling you down to grind against him with every forward thrusting motion. He groaned above you, teeth gritted and jaw clenched, revealing to you all the work he was putting in.

And boy did you feel it.

You had already cum twice - once from his mouth and again from him bending you over the arm of the couch when neither of you could make it to your bedroom fast enough.

Most of the time even you had to pray the wind was blowing in the right direction so you could cum in a timely manner, yet Noah had managed to get you there in near record time.

“Fucking hell! Right there!” You cried out as his cock pierced just the right spot within your drenched and aching cunt. Heavy pants escaped from you, each breath becoming louder and more pronounced the harder he drove his hips.

Noah’s tattooed fingers dug deep enough into your hips that you knew you'd have bruises the next morning. They'd match the bruise you'd have on your ass from when he had you bent over and administered quite a harsh spank.

He released your hips so he could trail his hands down along your tense thighs, kneading and massaging into the flesh. One hand continued its downwards trek to your clit as the other drifted up, pausing at your neck. Slender fingers secured around your throat and applied enough pressure to cause your heart to race and your breath to hitch, though not enough to cause any worry.

Why would you ever be worried about hooking up with a stranger and allowing him into the privacy of your home?

Noah's thumb swirled around your clit, each pass over the nerves causing your thighs to twitch and your hips to buck. He was then leaning over you so he could capture your lips in a hungry kiss, so much so that you swore you heard him growl against your lips. Not that you were fazed by this.

“Uh uh,” he scolded after parting from your lips to gaze down at you. “Eyes open.”

To show how serious he was in this demand, his hand further tightened around your throat, short nails digging into the sensitive skin. You gasped for air but it was all too much; the overpowering ecstasy that coursed through your every being as you felt his cock throb inside of you, the rigid veins that stimulated the tight walls of your pussy, his thumb on your clit, his onyx eyes never drifting from yours.

How were you to survive this night?

Your body tensed and your lower back arched as you felt the first ripplings of your orgasm. Your third orgasm. Then - everything released. You writhed beneath him, eyes finally closing which was no choice of your own, all while his name and a mixture of other profanities echoed through the room.

In the midst of your climax, your vision was hazy from the intensity, as well as the lack of oxygen greeting your brain. With every blink Noah’s face shifted; it went from the band frontman you had met that night to the dark stranger across the street earlier in the day, then back again, only to repeat the cycle. There was no way that's what was really happening, so you chalked it up to your overactive imagination and mostly drunken state.

The mess you made meant nothing to you, nor did the added mess of his cum when he managed to meet his ending in tandem. Noah’s hips lost momentum gradually before stilling completely, though your cunt continued to collapse and clench around him until your body finally settled.

It wasn’t much later that Noah laid sprawled across your bed, his face pressed to the pillow, breathing steady after drifting off to sleep. Unfortunately, you didn't have the same luxury. There was a darkness creeping into your mind, repeated phrases demanding things of you, things of which you had never considered before.

“Do it,” the voice whispered in your ear.

At first you assumed it was Noah by the brush of his hair on your face and the familiar grasp of his fingers around your waist. But when you glanced back, he hadn't moved a muscle.

“It would be so easy…”

“You want to. I know you want to. I can smell it on you.”

When your eyes opened, the blood red box from Nick’s shop sat at your side. It was unwrapped, the dagger staring up at you from its temporary home. Taunting. Begging. Screaming to be touched.

You listened.

Fingertips traced the metal of the handle, down to the tip of the dagger that remained sheathed.

“Pick it up.”

The order from the disembodied voice was obeyed, the dagger soon resting in your grasp. Still, no one was in the room with you other than Noah’s sleeping form, so how did you feel a breath on your neck?

Rubies embedded in the dagger shone before your eyes now that it was held up for you to admire. So beautiful. Just what you had been searching for all this time.

“Do it.”

You knew what the voice was asking of you. You knew it would end in your demise. Yet, you felt no fear. If anything, you were…excited. Possibly even anxious for what was to come.

“Do it!” The voice loudly rang out, deep and commanding in your mind.

Both hands now gripped the handle of the dagger after you pulled it from its sheath. Arms stretched out before you, the blade was perfectly angled just where you somehow knew it needed to end up.

Right in your heart.

“Do it! Now!”

With quick motion that held all of your strength, you impaled the dagger into your own chest. You could hear it break through the bone that protected your heart - your body no match to the power that lied within the weapon.

“...going to the flames if you're on the end of the blade.” Nick's voice now penetrated your mind, a memory from hours ago. His words being that of the loosely translated curse that the dagger held.

As soon as the blade punctured your chest, you felt a sense of clarity. You knew what the curse now was: die by way of the blade, go straight to Hell.

Eyes wide, you looked down to the dagger protruding from you. Blood spilled from the wound, coating your naked body, staining your sheets. You tried to call out for Noah despite knowing he wouldn't be able to do anything to help you.

Gathering what remained of your strength, which was next to none, you again glanced back to where you expected to see him sleeping. Instead, he was standing at the side of the bed, hands clasped behind his back, wearing the same smirk you had seen from the other Noah outside of Nicholas’ shop.

In a blink you were then being cradled in his tattooed arms. His fingertips brushed your hair back from your face in the most loving of gestures, lips moving though you couldn't make out a thing he was saying. You couldn't hear anything. Couldn't feel anything. All you could do was allow yourself to be encased by the cold hands of death as it dragged you deeper and deeper down to the dismal abyss.

“I'll see you on the other side, my love.”

× × ×

The forever night of the land taunted you as you gazed out the large window. Stars freckled the sky, twinkling and swirling cosmos in some spots, remaining still in most just as the night sky did back home.

Home.

Everyday that passed you forgot more and more what it looked like.

You had remembered your death, all of your deaths, within minutes this time. Noah was beyond pleased, confessing that he always wondered if dying by your own hand was the trick though he had been nervous to see. Nervous to know what it would do to you.

Well, now he knew.

You were livid. Never had you felt so betrayed, and you made sure he was well aware of your anger towards him. Something told you that he felt it in your lack of appearances since you had yet to face him fully since arriving.

“The Dark Lord has requested your presence today.”

A demon who had been appointed to your side ran a brush through your hair, gently ridding the strands of any tangles that had formed while you slept. You had told them day one that you could do it yourself but they insisted. Tending to you was now their duties and they had to do as commanded.

“You can tell the Dark Lord to kiss my ass,” you mocked.

The demon held back what you thought was the semblance of a chuckle, their unusually long fingers continuing to ready your hair for the day.

“Forgive me for being so blunt, but I think it would be best if you spoke with him. Perhaps let your grievances out however you see fit?”

Had you not done that the moment your memories returned? You very much recall throwing a heavy tea pot at his head, although he had dodged it with ease. Were your shouts of frustration not enough? Your tears?

It wasn't that you were upset to be back with him. You were more so mad about how he had gotten you here this time. There had to be some other way that left out the whole dying part.

“What's your name?”

The demon paused briefly at your question. You could tell they had never been asked before, though you weren't sure if it was because everyone else here knew how things went or if no one simply cared.

“I don't remember.”

This confused you. Shifting a bit in your seat, you turned your upper body to look at the creature. They were definitely a sight to behold; scaly skin that glistened as if perpetually wet, yellow eyes with only the smallest white pupil appearing like a cat’s, a row of chipped horns going down the center of their head.

You had stopped being scared of the demons here long ago.

“Lowly demons, such as myself, lose their names upon becoming what we are. We are simply demon. The others, the ones you've probably heard of in some capacity within your mortal stories, are given new names when they become His strongest warriors.”

Out of all of your ventures here, you had never been told about the inner workings of the land. You found it to be interesting.

“Oh…” You felt silly for even asking, now also concerned that you had probably brought up a sore subject for the demon. No name? No identity? You couldn't imagine.

Once the demon had somehow managed to weave deep red garnets and black diamonds into your hair, you were sent off to where Noah would be waiting. You tried to fight it, arms crossed over your chest as you sat pouting on the edge of the bed, but eventually the demon helped you realize that Noah would see you whether you wanted it or not. It was wise for you to go to him.

And so you did. Like some sort of invisible string leading you to him, you managed to find him standing on the large balcony that jutted out from the castle, overlooking his land in silence. His posture straightened upon sensing your arrival, gaze now set only on you.

“You look…” Onyx eyes raked up and down your body, no shame detected within them as he took in the black gown you had been instructed to put on. You didn’t want to admit to him the way his heavy stare made you feel. There was already a tingling in your lower stomach that radiated down between your thighs - no. You wouldn't fall for it that easily this time.

“Don't,” you merely requested, a hand being held up to signal for him to stop any further words. Steps were then taken around him so you could approach the railing of the balcony, the carved stone cool beneath your touch as you tightly grasped it.

“You're still angry…”

You said nothing. Silence overtaking you.

“I…” he began, his voice falling while trying to gather his thoughts. Never had he been so concerned about anyone else before. Never had he been forced to wonder what the right thing would be to earn your forgiveness.

“I'm sorry that things had to happen this way.”

Well, that weak excuse for an apology definitely made you want to yell at him to shove it up his ass.

Your jaw clenched, knuckles turning white from the death grip you held on the stone railing. It would surely crack and splinter if any more of your strength was to be endured.

“I liked your hair better longer,” you finally spoke, though you didn't look his way. Instead, your gaze remained focused out into the night, slowly cataloging and memorizing every dip and valley.

“That you was nicer.”

Noah slowly shook his head as he reached out to lightly touch your hair, heated fingertips brushing the strands from your bare shoulder to reveal the curve of your neck.

“Funny, because that was me, just in a slightly altered form to keep up appearances.”

As if he could read your thoughts, he continued.

“I was never human, you know this. So, there are no other versions of me like there have been of you. There's only one. That's how it'll forever be.”

Anger flared within you. “You're telling me…that you've been able to come to Earth this entire time? That I haven't needed to brutally die again and again to be with you? You are an insufferable mons-”

A strong hand grasped your arm, turning your body and pulling you in closer. You could tell that Noah wanted to speak to you as if you were one of his demons, someone for him to control, but he managed to contain his rage.

“Do you know the danger I put my entire realm in just to walk amongst the living with you for an extended period of time? To go for my own selfish reasons and not because of my duties? To help guide you back to me? You're blind to the repercussions this land faced. Souls piled up, punishments halted, everything at a standstill. Do you think that has ever happened before?”

Silence as your eyes searched his.

“We may have spent one night together on Earth, but the sheer amount of deaths within that singular night that went unprocessed…”

Noah shuddered at the thought, his grip on you then loosening before releasing completely.

“Think of me what you will, but what I did was for us. Everything I've done, and will do again and again, for us.”

You wanted to understand. You wanted to touch his face and tell him everything was okay. You wanted to press yourself into him and let his warmth overtake you.

You wanted so many things, but none of it was what you did.

Instead of giving into these wants and needs, you gave him one last look and then turned on your heel to saunter back into the farthest reaches of the castle.

× × ×

The only thing you truly despised about this place was the lack of time. While you had an abundance of it, more than you could ever ask for, you still had no idea how much had passed. Days? Months? Hell, maybe a century? Time didn't work the same way here as it did on Earth, which you already knew, but it surely did drag when you were choosing to spend it alone.

You had attempted to keep track of it at the beginning but eventually gave up when nothing fit the way it should have in your human mind. Noah even offered to set a sleep schedule, though that disappeared rather fast when his duties became too much to juggle along with it.

A heavy sigh expelled from you as you flipped over onto your back. Your eyes stared through the darkness of your bedroom and up to the high ceiling where the same stars as the night sky beyond the open window danced along. A neat little trick Noah did when he knew you were restless. He may have been an asshole but he knew how to make you melt when showing his softer side. A side no one had ever seen before you.

With another huff, you caved.

Moments later you were standing in front of his bedroom door after having gently knocked. The door opened almost immediately, revealing his relaxed form sitting upon a grandeur bed with papers strewn about. It was always funny to see him do actual work especially when you had never witnessed anyone outside of the demons wandering the halls.

Sometimes you'd hear other voices when he was locked away in his study, but nothing beyond that.

“Stars didn't work?”

You twisted your lips, head shaking in a single motion.

“They're nice - beautiful - but it's not the same as…” you trailed off for a moment while trying to decide how much of your pride you were willing to spill down the drain. Not the same as when we're laying together.

Noah noticed, he knew what you were going to say. He allowed you to keep the stubborn pride for now. In a snap the papers cleared away from a spot on the bed for you, an invitation to join him.

Sitting against him, your knees bent to the side and your head resting on his shoulder, he continued to work. He would occasionally look over at you, brush your hair back, lightly touch your lips or cheek, then focus again.

How you had managed to wrap Death around your finger, you would never know.

“Can I ask a question?”

Noah nodded, the paper in his hand being placed down so he could fully focus on you now. Another thing you loved about him: he never made you feel as if your presence was a bother. No matter what he was in the middle of.

“Is this how you've always looked? Or do you only appear like this to me?”

A crooked smile appeared on his features, his eyes crinkling in the corners just as you remembered from your brief time on Earth with him.

“Why do you ask?”

Avoidance - as usual.

“I don't know…I mean, when it comes to humans, you are either shown as a skeleton in robes or this otherworldly beautiful man without flaws.” You shrugged.

You didn't add on that you were also curious as to what was real.

Noah didn't taunt you for your poor wording choice. He knew he was beautiful and he knew that you also knew this, but he understood what you meant.

“Technically,” he began while rubbing his chin as if trying to find the right way to describe it to you, “I'm without a body because what I am transcends physical being.”

Okay, that you could understand, at least for the most part. Was it still an odd thought? Yes, of course. All of this was odd.

“But I've chosen to take on a flesh and blood form, even before you came along the first time. It helps to do so in my line of work…so the souls can relate, maybe feel a bit of comfort for a brief moment.”

As he spoke you traced random designs and patterns into the top of his thigh, your fingertip slowly dragging along the soft material of his pants. You inwardly smirked to yourself when you noticed him shiver as your fingers traveled higher along his inner thigh.

“I may have adjusted a few things specifically for you, though.”

“That's why you have all the tattoos?” Your hand left his thigh so you could lightly touch the front of his neck, eyes focused on the inked designs that were quite an interesting choice for him. The religious visuals weren't lost on you - you knew why he had chosen those in particular. A cruel mocking to those above. A middle finger to the “Light Ones” who were always trying to act all better-than-thou.

You didn't tell him that this was quite a human response just to spare you the glare he would surely respond with.

“And the lisp?” You further teased, a smile finally gracing your lips again.

“Again - makes me relatable.”

You hummed in thought, watching him as he watched you. Noah had yet to return to his work meaning he knew there was more you wanted to say. And while this was true, you were more so transfixed by how close you two were. You could feel his breath on your face and see the patterns of different brown shades within his irises, both combined drawing you closer and closer until finally your lips collided with his.

Were you still mad at him? Yes, very much so, but that didn't change the feelings you had for him. The tether between you was far too strong, probably impossible to snap.

Noah didn't waste any time as your kiss deepened and intensified. He leaned back into the pillows of his bed, drawing you with him until your body almost completely covered his. You touched along his face and down his chest, eager fingers tugging and pushing at the shirt he wore. You needed him now.

There were moments when you both liked to take your time, each unwrapping the other like a precious gift, fully savoring the anticipation. Then there were times when it was impatient and needy, as if you couldn't get him inside of you fast enough. Simply a blur of hands until you were both naked without the pesky barriers of clothes getting in the way of your desires.

One guess as to which side you were both currently feeling.

As your clothes were stripped away, flimsy lace being tossed aside, you further crawled on top of him. Knees pressed down onto either side of his hips, your nails scratching along his inked chest before firmly grasping his broad shoulders. The kiss you shared had yet to cease, both of you kissing the other with a desperate need; sweeping tongues and clashing of teeth.

Noah released your hips to cup your breasts within his large hands, thumbs skimming and circling your sensitive nipples to pull a faint whimper from you. Chills formed over your heated skin, your teeth roughly sinking into his lower lip that caused him to hiss and pinch your nipples in return.

“Behave,” he lowly threatened while you could only pout in response.

Both hands then fell from your chest; one dropped to begin pushing his last article of clothing down as the other gripped tight into your hair. Noah roughly yanked your head to the side to further expose your neck, his lips immediately kissing a hot trail to your jaw. He knew exactly what teasing your neck did to you, arousal pooling between your thighs as you needily whimpered for him.

“And you thought you'd be able to stay away.”

You wanted to knee him right in the side for the petty comment, but he was already adjusting your position and tugging you higher up on his hips so you could hover above his hard cock.

Noah smirked against your skin, his tongue flicking at the sensitive spot right below your ear. The moment his teeth nipped at the same spot he pushed your hips down so the wide swollen head of his cock could force through your tight entrance. You gasped and he groaned in unison, his own muscles straining from the vice grip your cunt already had on him.

“I can stay away,” you countered. “I just didn't want to.”

The devilish gleam returned to his eyes while gazing up at you, knowing that deep down you also knew you couldn't stay away. It didn't matter what your stubborn protest said.

Releasing your hair, both of Noah’s hands held tight to your hips. You were still trying to adjust to his size, slowly easing yourself down another inch, but he was clearly much more impatient than you were. This was proven when he forced your hips all the way down until they sat flush against his, the entirety of his cock tunneling through your pussy. Of course how wet you were helped, but nothing could ease the tight stretch.

Your head tossed back as you released a loud moan, all other thoughts leaving your mind except for those of him. Sharp nails dug so deep into his chest that you swore you would draw blood - not that Noah would care.

“Good girl,” the Dark Lord rasped.

His impatience didn't end there. Although he wanted to be kind and let you find your bearings, there was truly no need when he was well aware that you liked things just as he did: rough, animalistic, whatever you wanted to call it.

Keeping you steady atop him, his hips thrusted up from the bed in rapid succession, angling just right to make sure your body quivered and your cries of pleasure never ceased. Noah loved watching you come undone for him, loved seeing your stubbornness overtaken by your pure need for the sensations that only he could give you. Everything about it, from the sounds you made to the way your face contorted in pleasure, was addicting.

You could barely contain yourself as he continued to drive his throbbing cock straight up into you. Your pussy fluttered, more and more of your arousal slipping free until it ran down his length and helped aid in his endeavors to completely ruin you. Noah knew that you were already close, he could tell by the way your moans became more frequent and heightened in pitch.

“That's it,” he grunted as his hands tightened around your waist and he forced you down to roughly meet the upward thrusts of his hips. “Let go.”

As if on command, your body seized and your back arched. An orgasm ripped through you, claiming full control as you trembled and your hips jerked, the pleasure so intense that you couldn't even make a sound.

Noah had no intentions of stopping, though. He settled down against the bed, still buried as deep as possible within the warmth of your climaxing cunt. His grip fell from your waist to your hips, now guiding you in a back and forth grind to keep you overstimulated and whimpering for him.

“You're so fucking beautiful when you cum for me.”

In a swift motion he had you on your back, the papers from his work crunching beneath you, some digging into your skin but it was of no concern to you right then. You were basking in the high of your orgasm, well aware that there was more to come. Noah never stopped at just one. He had to bring you as close to breaking as he possibly could before he was satisfied. Sometimes that could be done in as little as two rounds and sometimes you were at it for hours until you had lost count of your orgasms and forming any sort of coherent thought was impossible.

Not daring to pull out from your warmth, Noah brought one of your legs over so your lower half twisted for him, leaving you open and vulnerable but still capable of seeing each other. You quivered as you felt the thick rigid veins that lined his cock throb when they shifted within you, every inch of you sensitive from the orgasm you were still coming down from.

Noah had a hold of your ass in one hand and your thigh in the other to make sure you remained right where he wanted you as he slowly pulled out until just the head of his cock remained. Then, he used every bit of strength he had to thrust right back into you, the pace being set slow but impossibly hard. Your jaw clenched and your toes curled, your body barely able to handle what Noah presented to you.

You shook your head, squeaks and whimpers of words unsaid escaping from your throat. He knew what he was doing to you, though. He knew exactly what angles to fuck you from that would leave you dumb - for lack of a better term.

“Is it too much for you, my love?” He taunted, a mock sympathetic tone to his voice.

To show that he didn't care, he only picked up his speed, the driving force behind his hips remaining relentless. The harsh slap as your bodies collided sounded through the room, followed by a piercing smack when his strong hand came down upon your ass cheek, mixing with your symphony of moans. Your walls ached and burned but you didn't dare request he stop, not even for a moment, though you didn't truly want him to. You loved when he would get like this, a sort of sadistic gleam flaring in his dark eyes despite trying to pleasure you to the best of his abilities.

“Touch yourself.”

The demand made you whine under your breath. Noah knew what he was doing. You managed to slip your hand down between your clamped thighs, a fingertip brushing the swollen nerves ever so softly, but it was enough to make your body twitch and your cunt clamp tighter around his cock. His brows pulled together, the hold he had on you tightening.

It was too much. Your body was so sensitive, and touching your clit was that mixture of pleasure and pain that made your abdomen muscles tense and your hips writhe.

“I didn't say to stop,” Noah hissed through gritted teeth. How he had known you paused your fingers over your clit, you weren't sure, but you quickly obeyed his demand again.

“N-Noah…” you whimpered, tears brimming your eyes and threatening to spill over. You looked up at him through your watery vision, though you were still able to make out the smirk he wore upon his flushed cheeks. Not even the damp strands of dark hair could cover that look in his eyes as he gazed down at you, enamored with all that you were.

“Uh uh,” he shook his head. “If you stop, then so do I.”

Fuck. That was the last thing you wanted. It may have been too much and overwhelming but you were desperate to cum again. Not only that, but you needed to feel him filling you as well. You needed his cum seeping out of you, warming you from the inside out. Breathing a life into you that was ironic for Death.

His grip remained tight on your thigh though his other hand slithered up to knead at your breast, his fingers digging into your flesh, pinching and tugging your nipple. You were getting close again, so so close. As your own fingers continued to rub your clit, each stroke sending electric shocks through you, you released moan after moan, crying out his name in pleasure.

“Next time we should place a bet on how long you can go without my dick,” he spoke through his own groans, the strain evident in his voice.

Noah released your breast and instead secured his long tattooed fingers around your throat. His grip was tight, a silent reminder that he could easily crush your airways if he ever had the desire to do so. Which he didn't - he would never lay a hand on you in ways you didn't beg for - but the danger of it, the possibility, radiated down to your core and helped build your oncoming climax.

“I know you're constantly needy for it. I can smell your arousal when I'm near, so sweet and intoxicating…”

His voice was raw and deep, each word sending you closer to the edge. Every touch to your body felt like a flame licking your skin, tears still welling in your eyes, your cunt desperate for both your release and his.

“Please…” you begged in a breathless whisper as your fingers circled your clit in a messy rhythm, unable to get pace with his brutal pounding.

Noah’s lips twitched within his lingering smirk when your pleas met his ears, the sound causing his cock to twitch and his hips to snap in a quick succession into you.

A single nod was given, allowing you the gift of an orgasm, and also letting you know that even he couldn't find his words anymore. He was far too focused on the tight grip of your pussy that was swallowing him deeper, almost like he could hear it begging for his cum. If that didn't feed his already oversized ego, then nothing would.

The pressure built until you couldn't stand it anymore. Your fingers and toes tingled, a white hot heat exploding throughout the entirety of your body as you were overcome with your orgasm. Sharp nails raked down his forearm, skin breaking in their path and sullying the tattoos, though you knew it would heal rapidly. Your cunt erupted in a rush that soaked the sheets and also managed to push Noah right over the edge with you. Typically he had better control, but sometimes it was even too much for him.

“Fuck…you're so good at taking it, you always are.”

A final thrust had him emptying inside of you, feeding you that particular warmth you had been desperate for. You hummed in delight, your eyes heavy lidded but focused solely up on him so you could witness his undoing. Noah’s eyes closed and brows furrowed, his jaw falling slack as your name was groaned from him once, twice, three times. You could feel his muscular thighs trembling and you just knew he was trying his best not to collapse on you from the power of his orgasm and also the workout he had just put himself through.

Neither of you had fully calmed before he was leaning down and forcing his lips to yours. He held firm to your chin for the duration of the hungry kiss, though it didn't last nearly as long as you would have preferred.

Breaking from the kiss, Noah sat back up so he could slowly withdraw from your depths. He groaned at the sight of your mixed finishes dripping free, only to gently slide two fingers into your pussy with the gathered cum so you didn't lose a drop. You whimpered at the feeling, legs now spread in front of him and knees shaking.

“Noah,” you murmured in a faint whine. “I can't.”

Your protest didn't stop his fingers from slowly working their way in and out of your sore pussy, the strokes gentle but still overwhelming.

“I know, my love, I just wanted to see those tears again.”

And tears you had - a couple of stray drops falling down your cheeks, mixing with the sweat that you both exuded.

Only when he was satisfied did he remove his fingers, just to bring them to your awaiting lips. As if on instinct you pulled them into your mouth, cheeks hollowing and tongue swirling around his inked digits to clean his cum and yourself from them.

“Good girl.”

Thankfully, Noah let you rest. He easily could've gone again and again but he knew you were merely a mortal (undead or not) and he didn't want the fine line between pleasure and strictly pain to be crossed. Experiencing both was one thing, something you both enjoyed and gave consent to, but forcing you to entertain only the latter for his own selfish needs was not desirable to him.

You drifted in and out of restful sleep as you curled into Noah’s side. Your head rested upon his chest, legs tangled, his strong arm encompassing you and keeping you close. The featherlight touch of his fingertips trailing up and down your arm brought goosebumps forward, though the loving affection had you luling to sleep again. That is, until he spoke what had been plaguing his mind.

“They're going to come for you,” he murmured, a sadness in his voice. “The Light Ones.”

A slight sound escaped you, your head slowly shaking. Your own arm circled around his bare torso, now hugging yourself even closer to his form. Even though he was Death, something everyone feared, he had always brought a sense of peace over you.

“Why do you let them?”

In the past Noah had protested when they'd come for you; he would yell and threaten and make them force you away from him if they were going to take you. Never did he truly fight, though.

A deep inhale caused your head to drift up, and then slowly back down when he exhaled. You knew he was trying to find how to word his response in a way you would understand, or at least so he wouldn’t inadvertently offend you.

“Because at least then I know I'll see you again. If I fight, go to war for you, the Light Ones could end your bloodline completely.”

“As in…”

“You would cease to exist. No other versions. No rebirths. I'd only have my memories of you to keep me going for the rest of eternity.”

All of that for one lousy human? That was the main thing that had always confused you. You didn't understand why you being with Noah was so frowned upon. Why they wanted to make him suffer. Why they were determined to keep you apart. What sort of threat did his happiness pose?

“It's not 'normal’ for us to love because it's not what we were created for, especially not me. The Light Ones claim to have love for all, whereas I'm supposed to be the other side of the coin - the hate.” Noah took in another deep breath as if explaining it all to you physically pained him. Having to admit what his purpose was…it brought him hurt, and in turn, that hurt you.

“So for me to love, and to place all that love in one person, it makes me…” he paused and his arm around you tightened.

“It makes us dangerous.”

This is when you tilted your head up to look at him. Your eyes met and you offered a gentle smile, one to show him that you understood, but that didn't mean you had to accept it. You wouldn't. Not anymore.

“I'm tired of only being able to see you in death,” you softly spoke. Your fingertips grazed slowly along the underside of his jaw and then down the curve of his neck, your gaze following the trail. When you got to the snake you paused, your nail lightly tracing the outline. “I want to fight.”

Noah shook his head and soon his hand clasped around your own, your fingers intertwining together. “I won't risk losing you forever. I can't.”

“And I will,” you challenged, your voice stern. “What you do here in your realm should be none of their concern. You're the fucking King, remember? Or have you already forgotten yelling that at me millenia ago?”

The faintest of smirks tugged at the corners of his lips - of course he remembered. Noah remembered every minute, every second, that he has ever spent with you. Nothing could take those memories from him.

“We'll discuss this further in the morning, after you've slept and had some breakfast.”

With that, Noah blew the candle out on the conversation. The dark now surrounded you both, only the twinkling of the stars he had summoned able to be seen on the ceiling above.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian smut #smut with plot #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebasitan fic #bad omens fic #bad omens smut #god of death complex

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auras-moonstone · 1 year ago

Note

girl, i’m in dire need of some jack angst!! (i know, i’m crazy for wanting my heart to be ripped out by your beautiful writing in the saddest way possible😂)

maybe he and the reader have been dating for a few months and have their first big fight, maybe he’s been a little too close to a girl the reader has been having weird gut feelings about. they break up after some harsh words were said, and a few weeks later the reader sees that he’s dating the girl he told her not to worry about 👀

a few months pass, and jack and the girl break up bc he can’t get over the reader, and he tries to win her back, but soon realises he lost her for good when he sees her ar an event or something with someone else, and it’s clear that they’re more than friends.

(i kinda envision this as actress!reader x jack. and the event could be the oscars + the reader’s new bf could also be an A list celeb)

lyrics that could inspire you:

“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known” - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)

“I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind, Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

thank you so much and i’m sorry if this req is all over the place 😂😂❣️

hii! this might be one of the saddest things i’ve written yet. hope you like it<3

break me like a promise — jack champion

word count: 2,949

pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader, louis partridge x fem!reader (brief).

summary: jack breaks y/n’s heart, and after ten months he is determined to win her back, he sees her being happy with someone else.

author’s note: when i read “readers new bf could be a celeb” i knew i had to include the other love of my life aka louis partridge aka london boy.

Y/N AND JACK HAD MET THROUGH JENNA ORTEGA. The latter and Y/N both worked for Netflix, so they bumped into each other in lots of events and eventually became super close. And, knowing how big of a Scream fan Y/N was, Jenna invited her over to set and that’s where she met Jack.

No one could deny that sparks flew instantly between them, not even the two people involved. And that scared Y/N a bit, because her last relationship had left her with insecurities and trust issues, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive into another relationship.

Jack had been very understanding about it, and told her that they should start as friends. He assured her that he would wait as long as she needed to, that she was worth it. And after months and months of therapy, Y/N finally felt ready to try things with Jack.

They were in a lavender haze for months. Her relationship with Jack was unlike anything Y/N had experienced before. The love she felt for him was so strong that there was no way to put it into words. Jack was her best friend—he had held her hand as she healed, and drew stars around the scars that the previous relationship had left on her. And she never would have thought he was going to be the one who made the wounds bleed again.

Jealousy is often seen as a toxic feeling, and after talking with her shrink about it, Y/N came to a conclusion—the toxicity depends on the way you handle that feeling. So Y/N decided to put her fears on the table, instead of jumping into conclusions. That’s what she thought would be the most healthy thing to do. Jack would be honest with her, and the thoughts that had been eating her alive would disappear.

But as soon as she said the words and saw Jack’s expression of irritation, Y/N knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

“Seriously? I can’t have female friend now” Jack spat furiously.

“What?! Of course you can. That’s not what I’m saying” Y/N said calmly. “I just… she clearly has feelings for you. And I’m not saying you should stop hanging out with her, I just need to know if she’s just a friend to you… or if there is room for more.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’re telling me this.” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Jack, I’m not accusing you of cheating or anything, really. You’ve been spending so much time with her…” more than with me, she wanted to add. But that would make things worse. “and I just have this weird feeling. I need to know how you really feel, that’s it. If you tell me you don’t like her, I’ll believe you. But please be honest with me.”

“What I really feel is that you’re suffocating me with your shitty problems.” his demeanour was so calm, but his words were sharp as knives, and they cut right through her heart. She had trouble believing the words had actually left his mouth. “I’ve waited for you for months, I helped you through all of it. And now you’re making this shit up? Grow up.”

Y/N felt like throwing up. She felt like she was about to spit her heart. “You don’t mean that.” her voice broke. “In all of these months, when have I ever brought up one of your female friends? Not once. Because I know they are only friends. But with her, Jack, I just feel like there is something more. And yes, maybe I’m overthinking, but that’s why I’m asking. That’s it. I’m just asking, Jack.”

“Stop being so fucking paranoid. I get that your ex cheated on you, but stop seeing ghosts everywhere.”

“Why are you being so mean? Why are you avoiding the question? It’s simple, Jack. Do you have feelings for her?” Y/N asked, the knot in her throat grew in size when she noticed he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Jack?”

“We’re just friends, jesus!” he said annoyed. Y/N wanted so bad to play dumb, to pretend she couldn’t see he was lying.

“You know I can read you like a book, right?” she asked softly, sad. “When you lie, you can’t look me in the eyes, you play with your hands and bite the inside of your cheeks.”

“Y/N… fucking drop it. I’m tired of this”

“We are over, Jack” she tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, trapping her in his arms.

He saw the tears steaming down her face and cursed himself. “Shit. No, please. Let’s talk. I’m sorry” he sound like he was about to cry, and Y/N knew she needed to leave. Because even though he had hurt her, the soft spot in her heart was still reserved for him.

“No, let’s just leave it like this because if you keep talking, I’m afraid I might end up resenting you, and I don’t want that.”

“I love you, Y/N” Jack hugged her tightly. “Please let’s fix this. I promise you nothing happened with her, and nothing will.”

“I love you too, but I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore” and so she stepped away for the arms she loved the most in the world and left without glancing back. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.

EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT OF JACK’S HOUSE TWO WEEKS AGO, Y/N HAD BEEN OVERWORKING HERSELF TO AVOID HER THOUGHTS OF JACK CREEPING INTO HER MIND. She had stayed out of social media, and had deleted Jack’s number from her phone to avoid temptations. Her friends kept their eyes on her all the time, worried about the inevitable breakdown. You can only hold back for so long before it becomes too much.

Louis, her co-star, had been by her side as much as he could. And, like every morning, he was waiting for her on her trailer with a caramel macchiato and a shiny grin on his handsome face.

“And a chocolate chip muffin?” Y/N asked, seeing the mouth-watering treat next to her Starbucks drink. “What’s the special occasion?”

Louis stared at her, frowning. Not any indications of having had a break down, not even puffy eyes, which meant one thing—she hadn’t seen the pictures yet. “Nothing” he blurted, showing his charming smile. “Just saw it and had to buy it.”

“You really need to stop buying me these breakfasts, Lou. I’m going to get cavities” Y/N said taking a sip of her overly sweet drink.

“But look at how happy it makes you. Cavities will be worth it, don’t you think?”

“You may have a point. Scoot over” she told him, nudging his leg with her foot. Louis moved his body so that she could sit next to him on the small couch. It was not made for two people, so they were basically pressed against the other, yet they found it comfortable. Especially Louis, whose insides melted because of the closeness between them—his not so tiny crush on her was painfully obvious.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, trying to keep his voice calm as she unlocked her phone.

��I forgot to check which surprise songs Taylor sang last night” she answered as she opened twitter. “Oh god”

“What?!” Louis squealed.

“She sang Cornelia Street and You’re on your own kid! And I wasn’t there, Lou!” she dramatically dropped her head on his chest. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “What is going on with you?” she laughed.

“Nothing. Why?” he laughed awkwardly.

“I don’t know, you’re extra jumpy and panicky today.”

“I’m always jumpy and panicky around you.” he said, trying to brush it off.

“No, you’re not” Y/N furrowed her eyes, locking her phone. Louis eyed the action and his chest relaxed. The girl noticed that, so she unlocked it again and started scrolling through Twitter. On her periphery, she saw the boy’s body tensing again. So it had to do with social media, she guessed. “Louis, I’m not dumb. Tell me what is going on.”

“Nothing” he repeated. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Lou, I love you but you’re getting on my nerves right now. I hate being lied to, you know that.”

Y/N’s vulnerable eyes were his weakness, so he sighed and took her hand in his. “This weekend, some fans caught Jack walking around the city with a girl… and they… um, saw them kissing and holding hands.”

Y/N felt her heart drop, and her eyes started to sting. No. She wasn’t going to cry. She hadn’t let herself cry for two weeks and she was not going to start now. “Oh.”

“Give me your phone” Louis said softly. She was too lost in her own mind to question it, so she just obeyed. “I deleted Tik Tok and Instagram. And silenced any Jack related stuff on Twitter. You don’t need to see those pictures.”

“Louis… the girl… is it her?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice in control.

“Stop” his voice was firm.

“I want to move on, Lou. And for that, I need to know I was right first.” she pleaded. “Is it her?” her friend nodded slowly as he brought her to his chest. Y/N did a little nod too, and tried to stand up. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Y/N…” he grabbed her elbow to push her back.

“Lou, please. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to think about it.” he noticed she was two seconds away to burst into tears. And as much as he knew he would hate the sight of her weeping, it was necessary.

“I know you don’t, Y/N/N, but you have to if you want to move on. You’re never getting over this if you keep ignoring your need to cry.”

“I’m just afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” she confessed, tears starting to blur her vision.

“It feels like that now, but I promise you it’ll be good for you. You have been holding it back for weeks, and once you let it all out, you’ll start to heal” he said as he played with her hair.

“Two weeks… it took him two weeks to go off and date her. And it’s not only some girl… it’s her. He told me I was paranoid, and now he proved me right.”

Jack had promised nothing would happen between him and that girl, and now he broke his promise just like he had broken her heart two weeks ago.

After the realisation, it was like something snapped inside of Y/N, and one sob turned into desperate crying. Her fragile body shook under Louis’ arms, and he wished he could stop her pain. But he couldn’t, so he just stayed there with her holding her as she let it all out.

AS MUCH AS SHE HOPED THE CRYING WOULD EASE THE PAIN, IT DIDN’T. It had been months of being in a rollercoaster of feelings, sometimes she was okay, sometimes she was great and sometimes she was so low not even Louis’ hugs could lift her up.

The days where she didn’t have to shoot were the worst, because she spent hours in bed and her brain betrayed her by bringing the memories of Jack back. She missed him so much, it was completely agonizing. Why?, she asked herself when the room was dark and she couldn’t sleep. Why did he get to move on while she had to spend her days like that? She has been trying to pick up her heart while Jack was all lovey-dovey with the girl he swore was just his friend.

Jack continued her life without her, while Y/N woke up everyday with his memory over her. She longed for the picture of Jack’s dazzling smile to be gone from her mind. She prayed to forget the sound of his voice as he whispered the sweetest of things on her ear. She wished she could stop hearing his angelic laugh everywhere. She wanted to stop feeling the ghost of his touch against her skin. To forget that his lips were soft and that every time they were pressed against hers she could feel goosebumps all over her body. Y/N just wanted to stop being haunted by the memories of Jack.

Louis had slowly helped her through the process of moving on. He was there to offer his warmth when the wrenching thoughts triggered the waves of tears, and he was also there to make her break a smile once the sobbing stopped.

After eight months, the flood of her tears successfully carried away the thoughts of Jack, and Y/N knew she was finally clean. Not that she didn’t miss him, because Jack was her first love after all, and a small part of her would always love him.

It took her a few more months to be sure if she was ready to risk it again, but Louis’ sweet disposition, how he saw the best in her even in her worst times, showed her that he was worth it. And so she she watched it began again with him.

JACK AND THE GIRL LASTED FOR TWO MONTHS. He never intended to have something with her, but she was interested and he was lonely and sad, so he said yes. But reality crept in soon—he loved Y/N with all his heart and no matter who he was with, his thoughts would always go back to her.

He had been texting her for months, but she had blocked his number. He knew he could easily drive to her house, but he didn’t want to add salt to the multiple wounds he had inflicted on her, it would be selfish. So when Jack saw that Avatar 4 and Y/N’s drama film were both nominated for the Oscars, he knew it was his chance to make things right. To bring back the only real thing he had ever known.

But he didn’t plan on seeing her with someone else. And he knew they weren’t there together just as co-stars, they were each other’s date. The spark in Y/N’s eyes when she looked at Louis was familiar to Jack—it was the way they used to shine just for him. Jack had been the one to extinguish the spark on her eyes, and Louis had managed to light them up again.

And he wasn’t even mad or jealous. He actually felt happy and sad. Jack didn’t understand how it was possible for two opposite feelings to co-exist in his body at the same time. He realized it was a lost battle, yet he needed to do talk to her. For the sake of their once marvellous relationship.

Y/N got out of the bathroom and into the crowded room, but the thousands of people in it became blurry once she recognized the silhouette of a handsome tall boy leaning against the entrance. “Jack?” his name left her lips in a mix of anguish and surprise.

“Hey” he said softly. You look beautiful, he wanted to add, but restrained himself. “I wanted to talk to you.” Jack saw her grimace and continued before she could stop him. “I know. I know it’s the last thing you want, I just need to get this off my chest. You’re not paranoid or insecure. You never overwhelmed me with your problems. You were right, and I was a shitty boyfriend, friend and person, and you have been so amazing and patient… and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never deserved your love.”

“You did… up until that night.” she said in all honesty. “I loved you so much, and then you said all of those things. I can’t forget about it, because I never expected those words to come out of your mouth.”

“I know, and I really don’t expect you to forgive me. It’s okay and understandable if you don’t, but I needed you to know that those things I said weren’t true at all.” Jack said, pressing his lips in a thin line. “To be honest, I came here with the mind set of trying to win you back” he confessed, and let out a little laugh, as if the idea was now ridiculous. “But I saw you with him and I know that I’ve lost you for good. Are you happy with him?”

Y/N saw his deep brown eyes starting to get glossy and her insides melted. She didn’t see him with romantic eyes anymore, but it didn’t mean the love was gone. She still cared for him with every bone in her body. “I am. He’s amazing.”

Jack smiled. Genuinely smiled, so widely that it made a few tears drop, and before she knew it, Y/N’s cheeks were wet too. “That’s great, Y/N/N. Really great. I’m happy for you.”

And that was the moment Y/N knew Jack honestly regretted the words he had said before their breakup. “I forgive you.”

The tall boy’s eyes widened “What?”

“I forgive you.” she repeated. “And you deserve to be happy too, okay?”

“Thank you” Jack said breathlessly, wiping away the tears.

“I need to go. But it was nice to see you, thank you for coming to talk to me. For real. I really needed that, I think we both needed that.”

And so they both smiled to each other one last time before parting ways. There was nothing left to say, staying friends had never been an option with them. They loved each other too much for that. When it came to Y/N and Jack, it was everything or nothing at all.

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youremyheaven · 4 months ago

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Momagers, Stage Mom's & Mama's Boys: The Dysfunctional Moon Child

Moon influenced people often come from households where they had a very dysfunctional relationship with their parents. Both parents are usually toxic but the Moon person forms a close, overly sympathetic and anxiously attached bond with one parent who they perceive as the victim or martyr in some way. (Dad's abusive or neglectful and mom's the one trying her best, for example).

WHY does this happen?

Moon is said to be the most Yin of the planets. It's passive, feminine and emotional.

Most of the time, these bonds are toxic because its overly protective, overly nurturing, controlling, overly caring as opposed to say Sun influence which will create bonds that are too independent and unattached (aka female friendships vs male friendships lol). Moon influenced parent-child bonds become toxic because there's TOO MUCH love, care and attachment and neither party can have a separate independent existence.

Moon influence is prominent in the charts of momagers/stage moms AND the kids who are under their control.

Priyanka Chopra, Rohini Moon

Pri and her mom are attached at the hip and they're literally ALWAYS together. She has managed Pri's career since she was a teenager. And since she's not a nepo kid, it's known that she's had affairs with several married men in the industry, especially when she was starting out, to secure work :((

And I think its fucked up to have a parent basically pimp you out to make money. Be it PC getting a nose job or her army doctor mother quitting her job to open a cosmetic surgery clinic or her family running a pub?? PC is the golden goose and her family has just been living off of her money and encouraging her to basically do anything to make it. I think its a bit fcked to be smoking with your mom and its not bc I'm Indian lol

Alia Bhatt, Shravana Rising

Now Alia's dad is a pretty well known asshole who is infamous for being abusive. And Alia had a pretty rough upbringing, so its no wonder that Alia is as attached to her mom as she is. Alia's own marriage is pretty fucked up and toxic.

Alia started her career when she was 17 and to this day, her mom manages her finances. She was recently in the news for being scammed out of 1 crore rupees (119,000 dollars) so like I guess her mom's not exactly brilliant at what she does lol

Katrina Kaif, Hasta Moon

Katrina Kaif who is British, came to India when she was 17 and met and started dating the violent, toxic abusive Salman Khan, who was 20 years older than her. He helped her establish herself as a huge star but she went through a lot including physical abuse.

Kat endured all that because she had 7 siblings to support and her mom was a single mom. She's extremely close to her mom but I still think its fcked up that a literal teenager had to become the breadwinner of a family of 8 and endure all kinds of abuse in a toxic industry and in a country where she knew nobody just to break even.

Bella Hadid, Hasta Moon

Yolanda is a toxic mom in general but she has a particularly toxic bond with Bella for sure

Britney Spears, Shravana Moon

She's probably the most notorious example of being controlled by her toxic , abusive family :(((

Brooke Shields, Rohini Sun/Jupiter/Rahu

Her mom made her pose naked for playboy when she was 10. That should say enough about how fcked up her momager was. She has spoken about how her mom was an alcoholic and she felt like she had to do everything she could do to keep her mom alive :((

Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon

He grew up in a toxic home where his dad cheated on his mom and was an alcoholic. He's KNOWN to be a mama's boy and his mother lowkey influenced all his previous relationships until he finally tied the knot with someone his mom approved of ://

Today his wife dresses and emulates his mom lmao

Leonardo DiCaprio, Hasta Moon

He's another infamous mama's boy

It's interesting to me how in most of these cases, the fathers were either absent or neglectful. These people grew up under the sole care of their mothers and it created an overly possessive, toxic, codependent bond. All of these people have spoken about how hard their mom's lives were and how they're grateful for everything their mothers did for them. This tendency of the Moon to make its natives be entirely sheltered from Yang or male influence or in some ways find Yang influence repulsive is very telling.

Similar to how Sun influenced people find it difficult to relate to or connect with Yin themes (like being clingy, attached, being nurturing in a traditional way, being openly loving etc) Moon influenced people struggle the most with detachment, letting go, independence etc. The extremes of both these can be unhealthy. It's important to learn how to be balanced and not give in to the tendencies that can harm both us and the people in our lives.

That's all for this post<3

#moon dominance #yin influence #lunar #vedicwisdom #vedic astrology #astro notes #astrology notes #nakshatras #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #astrology #vedic astro notes #astroblr #astro observations

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jahayla-parker · 1 year ago

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Made For : Finnick Odair x Reader

(Finnick Odair x Victor!Reader / Finnick Odair x Tribute!Reader / Finnick Odair x District4!Reader / Finnick Odair x Gf!Reader / Finnick Odair x fem!reader)

Descr: 5k wc, set to the time of What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish, Y/n finds herself questioning her worth and what she was made for when she finds herself in the same situation as her boyfriend Finnick Odair has been in since he won his games when his body began to be sold or given as gifts to those in the Capitol; Finnick seeks to help her through it. Hurt-Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Support, Healing, Etc.

Warnings: Hunger Games type warnings, mentions of Snow’s sex trafficking of victors (aka rape, but NOTHING explicit, everything post events), violence, trauma, bruising and injuries, crying, self-blame, and related. Please let me know if I missed anything!

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

Was this all there was? That seemed to be the case lately at least. To be fair, as a former victor, what else was there now? What was she made for outside of this? This had become not just a part of her life but her story, her identity. Was she really made for this? Could she be made for more? Would the Capitol even allow that?

These thoughts were on constant repeat in y/n’s head as she walked back to her house in the victor’s village. This was a routine occurrence as of late. So much so she actually debated if it made more sense to simply move to the Capitol rather than walking to the train and back every time she had a client to attend to. It would certainly save time and energy. But then again, her time was expendable and her energy was practically non existent by now. Besides, the train ride back to District 4 offered her solitude; something she had learned to equate to safety. The solitude that came with the train ride also provided her the chance to zone out, something she often resorted to after the events of the her visits to the Capitol. She also utilized the walk home from the train station as a way to try to compose herself before she returned to her boyfriend. Finnick knew what she was going through, far better than he should, given he was in the same position himself. But, that’s precisely why y/n wanted to make the most of the time they had together by not having to deal with the traumas imposed on them by Snow. She also needed the physical separation from the ever present carelessness and cruelty that was the literal foundation of the Capitol. Lastly, but by far the most important factor in her decision to not simply move to the Capitol, y/n wouldn’t live somewhere where Finnick wasn’t.

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

“Oh! Fin,” Y/n gasped, frantically wiping at her damp cheeks. Finnick had left a note saying he had some things to do in town, so she wasn’t expecting him home already. She hadn’t known he would be back from his errands so soon. If she had, she’d not have let herself break down this much.

Finnick frowned as he took in the state of his girlfriend. “Honey, what’s happened?” He asked, quickly making his way over to her. When she mumbled a quiet “nothing” in response, he sighed sympathetically. “Okay,” he nodded, cautiously taking y/n’s hands in his. “You don’t have to say anything honey, just know I’m here for you, okay?” He proposed, squeezing her hands as he scanned her tearful eyes.

“You’re allowed to cry,” Finnick commented lovingly when y/n seemed to whisper an apology before taking her hands back to resume drying her face.

“No,” y/n argued vaguely. She kept her eyes on the wood floor under her feet as she pulled the collar of her shirt up to dry her tears faster. He didn’t need to deal with this.

Finnick’s worried frown deepened. “Why not?”

“Because I should be used to this,” y/n answered, her tone laced with self-deprecating judgment.

Finnick’s chest caved in painfully as he came to understand what was troubling y/n. It wasn’t that he was truly surprised. While she was at the Capitol, he’d gone to the market to try to find some y/f/d for her for when she got home. It wasn’t much, but he was hoping it would help cheer her up slightly since he knew she’d unexpectedly had to leave two days in a row so far this week. He’d also been sure to tidy up and get some extra cozy blankets out of their closet for her. He had intended on being home by the time she got back, but the typical place he went to was out of y/f/d so he’d had tried to search for awhile. If he’d known y/n was already home, he’d have rushed back earlier.

As painful as it was to know what y/n was going through, and knowing he was powerless to stop it, this was almost worse. Finnick hated that she felt she had to become immune to the pain that came with having to attend to clients at the Capitol. She’d never expected him to do that, so why did she think she needed to? Finnick shook his head and took her hands in his once again, “no, you shouldn’t. This isn’t acceptable”.

Y/n mindlessly shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, if you ask Snow,” she commented, having actually done that herself not too long ago. “I.., this is what I was made for,” she concluded with a defeated sad smile.

Finnick felt his anger flare and he clenched his jaw to keep the tension in his face and not his hands that held y/n’s. “That’s such bullshi-”, he began but paused and sighed. His anger wasn’t going to help the situation, especially if there was a chance she might misinterpret it as being directed towards her. “Y/n,” he cooed in a much softer tone, “that’s not true”.

Y/n huffed lightly. She slowly lifted her gaze up from Finnick’s shoes until her eyes reached his troubled face. “Then what was I made for, Fin?” She asked timidly.

Finnick offered y/n a sad smile. He released one of her hands so he could use his now-free one to cup her cheek. “You were made to be you,” he said, his smile warmer now, “that’s all you ever have to be”.

“This is me,” y/n pointed out as she stared into Finnick’s attentive eyes.

Finnick’s brows scrunched together. “No”. He shook his head slowly. “This is something being forced upon you,” he reminded y/n delicately. “This is a chapter of your life, albeit a painful and traumatic one. But, you are not what is, or was, done to you”. When he noticed she was about to argue, he tapped her cheek tenderly. “Do you think this is who I am?” He asked, knowing full well despite them being in the same position, she was seeing herself through a much harsher lens than she would ever dare to see him.

Y/n rapidly shook her head worriedly. Of course that’s not what she meant! Seeing the way Finnick’s eyes and expression communicated the fact he already knew she didn’t see him that way calmed her. She slowly understood why he’d asked that question if he already knew her answer. He was right, it was ironic and hypocritical. But, she could see so many purposes Finnick had outside of this ordeal. The same couldn’t be said about herself.

Finnick silently gasped as he watched y/n close her eyes and begin to break down in tears. “Can I…” he trailed off, wanting to make sure he conveyed the message that it was her choice and he’d understand either way. “A-are you okay with me holding you right now?” Finnick questioned softly.

Finnick smiled faintly to himself when y/n gave him a silent nod in response. He made sure to give her enough time to change her mind if physical contact was understandably too much for her right now as he moved to he pull her to him. “Let it out love,” he encouraged, “you don’t need to keep this bottled up inside”. Finnick carefully let them to the couch, watching her to see if the action would be too triggering for her right now.

Y/n sat in silence in Finnick’s loving embrace for an unknown amount of time. Just listening to his whispered sweet nothings as she let his warm hands release her tension as he delicately rubbed her back. After a moment of contemplation, she leaned back to look up at her steadfast boyfriend. “How do you do it?” She asked quietly.

“What?” Finnick questioned, tilting his head down to see y/n more clearly.

“Live like this,” y/n explained. “I mean! I know you don’t have a choice either!” she corrected, cupping Finnick’s face apologetically. “But,” she sniffled. “You’re so much better at dealing with all of this,” y/n croaked.

Finnick pouted and sighed. That wasn’t something she should be trying to meet. He knew what she was seeking, the ability to get by without feeling the burden of all of this. But it shouldn’t be something anyone should have to seek. Much less something she should be ashamed for not having been able to do yet. “I’ve had a few extra years, honey,” Finnick reminded her solemnly.

Y/n smiled sadly and nodded minimally. “So,” she sniffled, tracing imaginary shapes on Finnick’s shirt. “I’ll get better at it?” She asked, her eyes moving up to meet his.

Finnick let out a long sigh. “I want to say no…” he admitted. “Because you shouldn’t have to. This shouldn’t be something you experience, let alone get used to.” He grit his teeth as he thought about the things he wished he could do to Snow for making y/n have to deal with any of this. “But, yeah…,” Finnick nodded sadly, “time will make it less noticeable. I’ll be here to help you with this too”.

Tears sprung into y/n’s still watery eyes again. She silently clung onto Finnick tightly. She knew her shaky sobs were making his shirt wet and was appreciative that he didn’t seem to be annoyed by it. “You know you don’t have to, right?” Y/n questioned in a hushed voice.

Finnick’s face furrowed slightly as he replayed y/n’s muffled voice, trying to see if “hearing” it a second time would allow him to understand what she’d said. Her face was buried in his chest, her lips pressed against the fabric of his shirt, making whatever she’d tried to say incomprehensible. “What’s that, darling?” Finnick asked tenderly as he brushed some of her hair away from her face.

Y/n slowly pulled herself off of Finnick’s chest in order to repeat herself. She needed him to hear her clearly. It was important that he knew this. “I want you to know that while I do appreciate everything, you don’t have to do all of this,” y/n told him breathily. “I know it’s a lot, and I’m needy, and I-“.

“Shhhh, honey,” Finnick whined, his face contorted with worry.

Y/n smiled faintly at her endearing boyfriend. “No it’s okay,” she promised, “I know I am, but I just…” She swallowed thickly and moved her arms away from Finnick’s torso, up to his face instead. “My worry isn’t about that. My worry is that I want to be sure that you know you don’t have to exert yourself to this extent.” Y/n once again offered him a tiny smile despite the turmoil in her mind. “You’re already going through a lot yourself, you don’t need to take me on as a burden too,” she assured him.

“You’re not a burden, my love,” Finnick argued with a soft shake of his head.

Y/n let out an airy half-laugh. “Regardless, Fin, I’m serious, you’d still be the best boyfriend, and the love of my life, without taking this on too. I need you to know that you don’t need to do this,” she explained fully.

Finnick smiled warmly as he continued to gaze down at y/n. “I do”. He leaned his head into her hand on his jaw. “I do know that, honey”.

“Good,” y/n breathed out in relief. “I don’t ever want to pressure you to do anything, even small, that-“ she began to ramble.

“I know,” Finnick nodded in understanding, his pointer finger trailing down her jaw. “I feel the same, angel,” he pointed out softly. “I want this. I want us. And, I want to be there for you, to lighten this darkness as much as I can for you since I can’t stop it.”

Y/n let out a choppy cry before she dove back into Finnick’s embrace. She held onto him tightly. “I love you so much, sweetheart,” she whimpered against his shoulder as her arms snaked around his back.

“I love you too, honey,” Finnick cooed, his own arms tight around y/n. “I love you too.” He closed his eyes and breathed in her familiarly comforting scent. “We’re going to get through this.”

'Cause I, 'cause I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday I might

Someday I might

Y/n gasped as the bathroom door opened unexpectedly. She’d been staring at her bruises through the mirror for hours. Or so she suspected. She’d dissociated and lost track of time. As such, when the door opened, she had just been standing there alone in her and Finnick’s bathroom in only her bra and panties as she continued to take in her appearance.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Finnick guiltily rushed out, stepping back into the hall and quickly pulling the door shut. “I didn’t know you were home, I’m sorry,” he whispered. His brows were scrunched as he tried to keep his anger at bay over having seen the marks on her body. Whoever her body had been sold to today hadn’t followed the contractual restrictions of not marking her up. The limitation was one of Snow’s rules for the acts one could commit against the victors he sold to the residents of the Capitol. It was not for the protection or sake of the victors themselves, but rather because it decreased their worth until the marks healed; Snow didn’t take discounts, meaning injuries risked a victor being out of commission for some time.

“‘s okay, Fin,” y/n whispered. She wiped the unshed tears from her eyes. She felt bad for the way her gasp made him feel like he was in the wrong for simply opening the door to his own bathroom. But, there was a more prevailing sense of blame that she felt right now regarding what he just experienced because of her. “Sorry, you didn’t need to see that… to see… me… like….” She rambled.

Finnick rested his head on his side of the closed bathroom door. “Honey, no, please don’t apologize,” he frowned. “Are you okay?” It was a stupid question, but he found himself needing to ask it nevertheless.

“Y-yeah,” y/n’s voice trembled through the door.

Finnick winced and pursed his lips. “Y/n,” he whispered knowingly.

“I can’t…. I…” y/n huffed. “It’s just…, I don’t know how to cover them,” she choked out. “Snow’s…. Snow is going to blame me”. Despite being on the other side of the door, her worry was evident in her tone.

Finnick squeezed his eyes shut. She shouldn’t be worried about this. She shouldn’t be dealing with any of this. She was meant for far more than this. “It’s not on you,” he reminded her gently.

“It was…,” y/n began, but paused, not wanting to burden Finnick by informing him of the name of her client. It was something they both often protected the other from. Since they would have to run into previous clients at mandatory Capitol parties, knowing who they were would only cause them to be constantly be mad at those specific attendees after knowing what they had been capable of doing to their unwilling partner. It was a morbid resolution, but one the couple had settled on in order to survive.

Y/n shook her head as she stared into the bathroom mirror. She watched herself as she poked at the bruising on her side. She flinched at pain and stifled a hiss. “He…,” she paused and took a deep breath, “he’s too close to Snow”. While she wouldn’t bother Finnick with who he was tonight, she knew her boyfriend was set on understanding why she was worried about being blamed for this when it was the one thing that usually fell on the clients. “It’ll be pinned on me for not having stopped him, that I should’ve-,” y/n sighed.

“That’s not your responsibility,” Finnick quickly pointed out. Y/n needed to know that. None of this was her fault nor responsibility. She was merely trying to survive. Something that shouldn’t be this difficult. “That’s not even something you are allowed to do, don’t let them trick you into blaming yourself by pretending that you suddenly had the privilege to stop him. None of this is by choice. None of this is your fault,” he reminded her. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his lips into a thin line. “Regardless of what you have to do or not do, none of this is your fault. No matter what you did or didn’t do, do or don’t do. Okay?” Finnick practically pleaded softly.

“Okay,” y/n agreed. She stood in silence as she stared at the purplish stains on her skin. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she confessed after another moment of contemplation.

Finnick bit his lip. “We’ll worry about that later,” he promised. “For now, do you need medical attention?” He asked worriedly. He’d only seen y/n’s injuries briefly before quickly shutting the door so she could regain some privacy.

Y/n chuckled darkly. “Like that would ever be an option,” she scoffed. The sold victors, even when covered in injuries despite their clients being told not to cause any, weren’t allowed to seek medical services or treatment. No matter how small or severe. It was clear Snow feared that the victors doing so would potentially expose the villainous was he was running a sex trade for the Capitol’s most prized residents. Not that anyone would likely do anything even if they did.

“It is,” Finnick corrected, his worry increasing as he wondered if y/n had gone without help for injuries before tonight. “We might not be able to go seek it out,” he acknowledged. “But, I’ve got a kit.” Finnick bit the inside of his cheek as he prepared to hear her answer to his next question. “Do you need anything?”

Y/n sniffled. “There’s nothing you can do for bruises,” she sighed.

Finnick’s fists balled at his side as he heard y/n’s shaky breathing and sniffling. “I… there’s a… a uhhh..” he rambled, his mind spinning. “A balm in the bottom drawer, to the left of the sink, it helps with pain,” he offered. He leaned against the doorframe, his ear pinned to the door as he waited to see if there was anything he could do for y/n.

After a few moments of silence, Finnick finally heard y/n’s small voice call out his name. His head perked up against the door. “Yeah, honey?” He asked. “I’m still here, what’s happening?”

“I, uhhh…” y/n frowned, burdened with guilt. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I can’t… I can’t reach it.”

“The balm?” Finnick questioned. He tried to visualize where it was and what severity or type of injuries might be preventing y/n from being able to reach it.

Y/n hesitated for a moment, uncertain how to answer without sounding weak and worrying Finnick further. “No, the… the handprint on my back,” she choked out.

Finnick winced, his fists clenching together and eyes screwing shut tightly. “Do you want some help?” He asked once he’d regained some of his composure.

“Do you mind?” Y/n whispered.

Finnick opened his eyes and frowned as he stepped back slightly from the door. “No, ‘course not, honey,” he promised. “Let me know when you’re okay with me coming in, alright?” Finnick instructed tenderly.

“Uhh yeah..,” y/n agreed slowly. She gazed at her exposed body in disgust. “How much… uhmmm. How much do you want me to cover up?”

“What do you mean, love?” Finnick wondered.

“I…,” y/n sighed. “How much should I cover up? Like… just leave my back exposed?” She asked as she eyed her discarded pile of tainted clothes in the corner of the bathroom.

Finnick frowned at y/n’s worry. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, love,” he advised gently. “As much as you need.” Finnick quickly tried to find a better response, knowing that a direct answer would help her since she was feeling sorta out of it right now. “If you prefer, I can blindly apply it to your back under your top,” he offered.

“Okay so you want me fully dressed?” Y/n asked rhetorically as her slow mind thought through her next steps. “One moment,” she agreed, turning to her pile of abandoned clothing.

Finnick’s brows furrowed. “It’s not about what I want, honey.” He sighed silently to himself. He hated how much she was worrying about him right now when she was the one needing help. “I just want you to be comfortable… as much as you can,” Finnick explained.

“So, I…” y/n began as she made her way back to the bathroom entrance. She cracked the door open lightly. She held it in place, forming just enough of an opening to stick only her head out of it, the edge of the door pressed into her neck. This way she wasn’t exposing Finnick to the sight of her injuries just yet. Y/n hesitantly looked up and met his patient eyes. “You’re okay with me not putting my shirt back on yet?” She clarified.

Finnick nodded, “I’m fine either way”. “This is about you, y/n”.

“Okay,” y/n said with a weak nod since her head was pinned. She offered Finnick a small smile, “thanks”. “‘Cause the fabric hurts right now,” y/n confessed.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Finnick reminded y/n lovingly.

Y/n pulled her head back in through the slightly opened door. “I know, it’s just, I know how ugly my body looks right now,” she explained as she slowly opened the door for Finnick.

“Hey, hey, don’t say that,” Finnick scolded softly. “You’re beautifully breathtaking, honey, always,” he promised. “Of course I don’t want to see you like this, but that’s not because it changes your beauty, only because I hate that you’re in pain, that someone hurt you,… I mean, I know it always hurts… I don’t like that either… I just meant.. right now with it being… more than…” he rambled.

Y/n nodded in understanding. She grabbed Finnick’s hand tightly. The warmth from his palm helped soothe her some. A shiver went through her as her body began to release some of the tension she was holding in.

Finnick stared intently into y/n’s eyes. “You’re in charge here, okay? You control where I look or touch, okay?”

When Finnick finished his scan of y/n’s body for any more injuries to attend to, he sighed with the tiniest bit of relief. “I promise you,” he said as he stood before her and took her hands in his. “I’m going to see to it that we find a way to make this end, to take our lives back, because you’re made for much more than to be used for Snow’s cruel plans”.

“We,” y/n corrected lovingly. She smiled softly at him, temporarily forgetting about the painful bruises that had led them to this tender moment.

Finnick smiled back. “Yeah.” He stepped closer to y/n, never breaking eye contact. “We are made for much more than to be his pawns. And I vow, one day it won’t even be something we have to worry about ever again”.

Y/n stared deeply into Finnick’s calming and beautiful eyes. “Maybe I was made for loving you, Fin,” she commented dazedly.

“Wh-…What?” Finnick stumbled breathily. “What, honey?” He asked. He couldn’t have possibly heard her correctly.

Y/n smiled tenderly at Finnick. She pulled his hands towards her, pleased when his feet followed and brought the rest of him with. “I said, ‘maybe I was made for loving you, Fin’,” y/n happily repeated.

“I.. I don’t…,” Finnick gasped with a timid shake of his head.

Y/n smiled up at Finnick as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s never even been a choice,” she admitted admiringly, “although if it were, it’d have been the easiest decision in all of Panem history”. “It’s just so easy and comfortable to love you, Finnick. It’s just so right”. She shook her head lovingly as she continued to peer into his sea-green eyes that felt like home.

Finnick knew he was undoubtedly a blushing mess. But he didn’t care. “Well,” he mumbled and cleared throat. “If that’s something one can be made for, then I was made for loving you, my dear,” he hummed. Finnick smiled lovingly at y/n before bowing his head to kiss her forehead.

“One day everyone will know that’s all we’ll ever have been made for,” y/n hummed, returning Finnick’s encouraging sentiment from earlier. She leaned into his kiss and cuddled up in his arms.

Finnick was careful in his positioning due to y/n’s bruises, but he nevertheless returned her embrace. He cautiously held her to him with a soft sigh. “One day, honey, one day”.

Think I forgot how to be happy

Something I'm not, but something I can be

Something I wait for

Something I'm made for

Finnick Odair Taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @heroinhchicblog222

Finnick Odair Navigation

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 7 days ago

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I’m greedy. Gimme some a dat spy tommy and guardian Angel Kevin please 🥰🥰

Hello, @rdng1230! Thanks for the ask! And you got it!

Here's a wee snippet from Spy!Tommy aka Live and Let Spy. This is from the scene where Buck and Tommy have caught up to Sal and Tommy who are trying to complete a mission. Buck is under the incorrect impression that Tommy is cheating on him with Sal. Things are not going well for anyone. Enjoy some Sal POV:

Sal eyed Tommy’s boy as he holstered his gun—his Evan—smirking when his scowl grew deeper. “Why don’t you kids run along home?”

Tommy shot him a look; his voice holding a note of warning. “Sal.”

“Why don’t we what? Screw you, Sal,” Evan said, charging forward.

Sal held his ground, used to much bigger and scarier dogs than this little pup. He huffed out a laugh at the kid’s bluster and shifted his weight, ready to take him down if he had to. Tommy could kiss his booboos better after they finished this fucking mission.

If they survived anyway.

The kid’s eyes narrowed as he crowded into Sal’s space and Sal jerked his head back when he started sniffing near his friggin’ mouth. What the hell?

In a flash, a large hand had him pressed against the side of the building. “I’m only going to ask this once and you’re going to tell me the truth,” Evan said, his voice going low and dangerous. “Did you eat my lasagna?”

Silence stretched out in the alley as no one dared to move. Never had Sal heard five words more loaded with extra meaning in his entire life. And he was a friggin’ spy.

He could see Tommy putting the pieces together just as quickly as he was, horror dawning on his face as he realized what kind of conclusions his boyfriend had come to about the two of them and the nature of their relationship.

A little too much horror if you asked Sal.

He was a catch.

Tommy had only himself to blame when Sal shot his boyfriend a shit-eating grin and said, “Yup. Both pieces. And I loved every last bite.”

Evan looked about ready to deck him when his buddy Eddie piped up behind him. “…is lasagna code for something? Because I’ve never heard that one before and Buck usually fills me in on all the terms whether I want to know or not.”

I put the Guardian Angels snippet under the cut!

Okay so this one is going to be fun, I think! It's based on this ficlet that I started here and I'm working on turning it into a whole story. It's going to be from Kevin's POV, but it will eventually include everyone's guardian angels in some way (that's all I can say without spoilers, lol) Here's a bit of the opening:

Kevin woke with a gasp—the echo of a strangled scream dying in his throat.

Dying…

Falling.

Sitting up with a jolt, he patted himself down frantically, breath finally slowing when he realized that he was okay. He was fine. He was…sleeping on Howie’s couch and having incredibly vivid dreams, apparently. Because he was alive.

Not dead.

Unless the afterlife was in Howie’s apartment in which case Reverend Michaels had really been overselling things on that front.

But…

He remembered the fire—working the scene with Howie up on the roof and the woman, the pregnant woman who stumbled out, she was going to fall through and he—he’d pushed her out of the way and fallen through himself. He remembered choking smoke and flames roaring up around him and pain. And fear. And then…nothing.

So, what the hell was going on?

A door creaked behind him and he whipped around to see Howie step slowly out of his room. Kevin’s breath caught at the look of utter devastation on his best friend’s face.

“Howie?” he whispered.

Thanks for the ask!

#bucktommy #live and let spy #spy tommy #wip #bucktommy fic #911 fic #evan buckley #tommy kinard #tevan #kinley #sal deluca #eddie diaz #and bonus!#Guardian Angels fic snippet #here is the deepest secret nobody knows #kevin lee #and company #you'll see!

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jasontoddweek2025 · 12 days ago

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Feature Post

Congratulations to everyone who did Jason Todd Week 2025! (We will also have a summer event, so look out for that!)

Here we have a list of works (fanart and fanfic) by some of the awesome creators who participated in this event. Levels of detail vary by what was submitted to the feedback form. Please check the tags for warnings!

Without further ado...

Lycanwing (@star-wars-lycanwing-bat, Star_Wars_Lycanwing_Bat on AO3) - Series

Road to Murder - On his way to murder the Joker, Jason questions his life's choices. (Drive)

Olive Branches - After a long day, all Jason wants is to go back to his apartment, but a little bird tries to get him to join in on family movie night. (Chronic Pain)

Monster - A half dragon kills Joker and reveals himself to Bruce. (Monster)

Isn't It Lovely, All Alone? - Jason is buried alive and he dies but the pit keeps bringing him back. (Grave, Buried Alive, Immortal Jason Todd)

Hello, Welcome Home - The aftermath of day 5 AKA The family cuddle pile. (Family)

Feline Therapy - Jason rescues a cat but what he doesn't know is that the cat is Tim. (Enemy to Caretaker)

Another Version of Me - Jason get triggered and Dick helps his brother realise that he is loved. (Return)

Birdie (@birdiedoesdc, a_alene on AO3) - Series

N.J.S.A. 39:3-10 - Drive

do you still wake up reaching for an empty space? - Chronic Pain

buried, banging at your door - Monster, League of Assassins

i'm gonna kill you if you don't beat me to it - Immortal Jason Todd

this live, throbbing age that brawls - Jason is a Literature Nerd

mechanically up all night, though - Red Hood and the Outlaws

i'd save a life if i thought it belonged to you - Lifeline

whenicarusflies (@whenicarusflies, whenicarusflies on AO3) - Series

We walked as tall as the skyline - Drive, Time Travel, The Batmobile Tires

when i take a breath I drown - Fear Toxin

How can I then return in happy plight? - League of Assassins

always and forever the last day alive - Grave, Buried Alive, Immortal Jason Todd

Family Problems - Family, No Capes AU

could you give me something for the pain - Enemy to Caretaker, Lifeline

you can't wake up, this is not a dream - Return, Outsider POV, Crime Alley

Chaos (Fic)/Lito (Art) (@freedom-of-speech333, Freedom_of_speech333 on AO3) - Series

The Loss of Tires (The Return of Hope) - The Batmobile Tires

Laughter Follows Me Back To Life - Joker

The Ghost of Who I Was/The Most of Who You Loved - Supernatural AU

I'm Still Here - Immortal Jason Todd

I'm Only Here For The Books - Jason is a Literature Nerd

You’re My Brother, After All - Enemy to Caretaker

The Life, Death, and Second Life of Jason Todd - Outsider POV

basalting (@basalting) - Series

late night drive - Drive

a good fuckin' day - Joker

cuckoo's egg - Supernatural AU

rest your weary heart - Grave

buy one, get one 50% off! - Family

don't think nothin' of it - Red Hood and the Outlaws - Implied Roy/Kori/Jason

it takes a village - Outsider POV, Crime Alley

Stormz (@stormz369) - Masterlist

Day 1 - Flashbacks to Jason's early years with Batman + Reader finding out he was killed. (Batmobile Tires) - x Reader

Day 2 - Reader helps Jason deal with a PTSD nightmare. (Joker) - x Reader

Day 3 - A civilian kid is afraid of Red Hood & Jason processes his feelings about it. (Monster) - x Reader

Day 4 - Jason + Reader at his grave. (Grave) - x Reader

Day 5 - Damian designs scar cover up tattoos for Jason (Family, Jason is a Literature Nerd) - x Reader

Lark Alliance (@snowberriesromanoff, lyricalark on AO3)

Day 7: come in she said i'll give you shelter from the storm - Jason Todd, the Narrows, and something like faith. A character study of Jason's pre-Robin years and the people who help him survive. (Crime Alley) - Selina Kyle/Holly Robinson

nursal1060 (@nursal1060writes, nursal1060 on AO3)

Day 2: The Pain Fades When We're Together - Chronic Pain - JayTim

salem (@worlds-okayest-fag, salemisntdead on AO3) - Series

Carry on my wayward son, there will be peace when you are done - Basically jason gets kidnapped by dick (not that he knows its dick lol). (Drive)

don’t need advice for my pain (it's making me more insecure) - Jason has a not fun night and wont ask for help. (Chronic Pain)

jason todd and the no good terrible very bad day - Supernatural AU

A minute from home (but so far from it) - Jason stuck in a time loop digging himself out of his grave over and over again. (Grave, Immortal Jason Todd)

ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind (except tim) - Jason, Tim and Dick on a Batburger run for a family movie night, Dick and Jason argue about Disney movies and they accidentally leave Tim behind. (Family, No Capes AU)

And though I am crying and bleeding and barely breathing (youre killing me) - Absolute angst piece about Jason having a mental breakdown in his bathroom bc trauma. (Scars)

i don't believe in luck (against the sun we're the enemy) - Sentient Gotham AU where Jason is Gotham's chosen knight. (Outsider POV)

FaalThien (@faalthien, Faal on AO3)

Day 1 - Time Travel

Day 2 - Joker - JayDick

Day 4 - Immortal Jason

Day 5 - Monster, Jason is a Literature Nerd

Day 6 - Scars

Day 7 - Return

#jasontoddweek2025 #dc #batman #fic #art #fanfiction #fanart #batman fanart #batman fanfiction #dc fanart #dc fanfiction #jason todd

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juniperdugong · 7 months ago

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Perfection Pt.3; Amongst the Living

Suspicions, shopping, and slowing down; Your first official day alive, and the burdens of life are already trudging in. Thank goodness you have Mingyu close at hand through it all!

Pairing: mortician!mingyu x corpse!fem!reader

Genre: Mortician!au, Horror!au || Fluff, Crack, Romance, Angst || Inspired by Frankenstein and other undead media

Warnings: Reader is smaller than Mingyu || Mentions of death and corpses (Nothing in-depth and nothing intended to disturb) || Mentions of suicide || Necro-romance, aka romantic attraction to a corpse. || {Please let me know if there are other warnings you would like me to add}

WC: 6.3k

Songs that inspired this fic

Series Masterlist

"Can you be quiet?", "I'm trying my best…", "Obviously, not trying hard enough.", "Gyu, do you have those side dishes I like?" "Christ, can you guys just leave?" You overhear the bickering and banter from the stairs and your nerves return to you with the news that Mingyu hasn't made the other men leave yet.

Stuck in paralysis at the thought of awkwardly walking into the living room you just stand outside the entrance; breath becoming heavy. You try to calm yourself but eventually resolve to hide in the guest room until they leave or until Mingyu comes to get you. As you're about to turn and scurry back up the stairs someone bumps into you, catching your wrist to keep you from falling. "Are you ok- woah, you're so cold…" you lurch backward, yanking your hand away from the man. He's wearing athleisure but you're too focused on his concern to take in his visual. The horror that grew on your face caught the man with even more surprise, his concern turning into complete confusion and worry. He begins to reach out again but emerging from the living room Mingyu intercepts. "Y/n! You're awake!" his eyes bound towards you and then towards his friend, now it's his turn to look concerned. "Did something happen?" "Gyu, she's cold." His attitude has an underlying sense of curiosity and alarm. Whoever this man was he was clearly unsettled just by your touch and that thought alone terrified you to the core. Your first morning back and suddenly you're in danger of being found out or maybe even more stressful, you're being suspected of something. Whatever is going through the mans mind you're not able to piece together but you know that gears are turning.

Seeing you in distress Mingyu speaks up, "Seungkwan, you're scaring my guest. Can't you see she needs some space?". It's the first time that you've heard Mingyu's tone so adamant, the seriousness willing his friend to join the others in the living room without much question. Unbeknownst to you, Seungkwan's curiosity was killing him, the peculiarity of you and his friend's sudden change of mood in your presence had him on the lookout for answers.

"Sorry about him…are you cold?" Mingyu turns towards you and softens, now worried that his friend was right. "I'm fine. I didn't know I was that cold. He just grabbed my wrist and said-" you try to hold back from the discomfort of this discovery but your tells are quite apparent to Mingyu. "Hold on." He goes off and returns with a sweater. "Wear this. It'll warm you up and hopefully will keep you from any unwanted touches. I'll go make some food for you, okay? Come in whenever you're ready. Oh! And don't mind them, they're…like I said before, annoying, so don't pay them any mind." Taking the sweater from him you nod. It's larger than you and you can't help but smile as a familiar scent enters your nose, Mingyu. You hadn't noticed it before but your skin is chill to the touch and the sudden warmth of the sweater only emphasized the lack of heat. For a while you sit, enveloped in the comfort even something as small as Mingyu's possessions give, using it as tangible courage to make your way into the living room.

"No, she was like stone. Her skin was hard and cold…" the man from before was whispering to 2 others on the couch. Seeing you enter he retracts from the conversation, instead keeping his eyes on you in something like terror or worry. "Y/n, let me introduce you to my friends!" Mingyu comes from the kitchen as you make your way towards the couch, wiping his hands on the black apron he wore.

The morning is passed with introductions and food. You meet three of Mingyu's close friends who he's known since middle school. Now you're able to identify the dolphin scream; Seokmin, a very gentle soul who is easily startled and especially loud once he gets comfortable, his smile akin to the sun itself and it's easy for you to see how Mingyu befriended him. Then there was the curious cat with glasses; Wonwoo, someone nearly antithetical to Mingyu in every way, shy, reserved, somewhat unemotional but even with the description it's obvious that his friends bring out something in him, a permanent smile of adoration whenever one of them is talking. And then there was the man. The one you'd bumped into and the one whose eyes were trained on you this entire time. Seungkwan. The way the others described him opposed how he acted in this moment. Energetic, kind, outspoken, a comedic genius, and overall a leader when it came to idle conversation and hosting. But now, as they were listing off only his good traits and waiting for any kind of banter or retort from him, his eyes stayed on you. The intensity made you curl up into yourself which in turn made Mingyu reach out to place a hand on your thigh, a small comforting action to soothe you in the moment.

"Who are you?" Seungkwan says with a sudden start, interrupting the previous conversation. "Sorry?" "Who are you?" he's steadfast in his words and they pierce through the air like knives, now all the attention was on the two of you. "My name is y/n…" "Yeah, but like who are you? To Gyu, I mean." "Oh! I'm-" "My girlfriend!" Mingyu squeezes himself into the conversation sensing the tension growing. From the look on his face, it's obvious that Seungkwan can tell that something is amiss. "Girlfriend?" "Yep, she's my girlfriend!" "Weird…" "What do you mean?" "No, it's just- you know…I would've thought that we-" he gestures towards the rest of the table, "might've heard about a crush long before you actually asked someone out. It's just not like you to keep something like that secret from us." "Yeah, well…this was one I was keeping to myself for quite a bit." the words coming from Mingyu are biting. "Hmm." is all Seungkwan gives in response, not satisfied with Mingyu's explanation.

The air begins to feel suffocating by the tensity but thank goodness for Seokmin! With a quick glance towards Wonwoo, he's picking up the conversation on a more exciting note. Droning on and on with more fervor about random topics. How the weather is, favorite foods, good movie recommendations. It's through this that you learn that Seungkwan works as a P.E. teacher at one of the elementary schools nearby, Seokmin manages a movie theater, and Wonwoo is an up-and-coming streamer. With the mood much lighter and everyone on better footing, it's easier to hide your reaction when you find out Wonwoo's day job.

"He's an up-and-coming streamer!… But until he gets to the top he's working as an assistant at the morgue." Seokmin excitedly explains to you. "I know, morbid, but hey! Not as morbid as the one sitting next to you!" he jokes and everyone gives their light-hearted chuckles which in turn disguises your disquiet as your eyes bug out of your head, your vision trails towards Mingyu. The way you tense under his touch after Seokmin says that catches Mingyu's attention. Your unease signals that it's time for you guys to be alone before anything else happens. He lets the conversation come to a natural end before suggesting that the guys leave and get on with their days like they were meant to hours ago. A few more jokes are cracked and although the subject has passed Seungkwan's staring isn't lost on you as they exit.

Mingyu sighs in relief as they begin to walk out, stretching as he walks back in, leaving you to close the door. A sliver left as you close it and something blocks you, looking down you see the tip of a tennis shoe. Opening the door once again you come face to face with Seungkwan. Now the glaring is inescapable, he doesn't blink once while you cower under his gaze. "Sorry, almost left my keys." he grabs a keychain from the hanger beside the door. "Wouldn't want to walk home in the weather we're having, might freeze to death…" he mumbles towards the end of the sentence making you unsure if you heard him correctly. "Excuse me?" "It's nothing, have a nice day y/n." he shakes his head and shines the friendliest smile you've seen from him all day. Finally, you can close the door. Gathering yourself from the interaction you head back toward the living room where you find Mingyu waiting for you.

"That was-" "He works at the morgue." you cut Mingyu off and get to the source of your anxiety. "I know-" "You knew and you didn't tell me before suggesting- He works at the fucking morgue, Mingyu!" your outburst comes as a surprise urging Mingyu to stand. Every time a new emotion rises in you it's as if a panic attack strikes your system and you're suddenly overwhelmed by the strength of your mood. Mingyu holds you by your shoulders, rubbing circles gently to calm you down. "Hey, it's okay. Let's just talk about everything, yeah?" he guides you back to the couch. The surge of emotion still running wild within you doesn't allow for your body to settle; Your legs bounce like your working a pottery wheel and your hands fidget with your nails till your sure that hangnails will be in your future. "I'm sorry, I don't-" "You don't need to explain anything to me." Mingyu stops you before you start, seeing your current state of unrest he pulls you close to him, letting your head rest on his chest, "Let's just talk."

Without much choice, the conversation calms you. Mingyu rambles on with such a speed that your anxiety has to leave you for you to comprehend what he's saying. You laugh at how eager he is to prove that you should let him carry any burdens you have. The dispelling of your worries are the only thing on his mind and he continues to attempt to pacify you not realizing that you're lost in his sea of words. Barely focused on the subject at hand you have to ask him to slow down.

"Mingyu." your hand goes up to cup his face. "Yes?" his eyes glaze over in puppy-like attentiveness, and he looks down as you stop his one-sided conversation. "I have no idea what you're talking about…" "Oh? What part-" "Just, slow down, and let's start from the beginning, please" "Of course" he pats your head as you both look at each other, he can't help but think that even in this tense moment where things could go awry that he could live here, all the anxiety and the stress of what's to come completely worth it if it means to have you in his arms. "So, as I was saying, you don't need to worry about Wonwoo." "I don't?" "Nope. Because he won't be working." "How do you know?" "Well, other than security guards, I don't think many people should be at the morgue during the night." "We're going to sneak in at night?" your face pleads for further explanation but all Mingyu sees is your eyes and how they affect him so completely, he's loved you for a lifetime and you just met yesterday, you just woke. His heart is completely taken by you and you aren't even aware of the fact. And for a second he's baffled that this is happening, that his yearning is turning into something with you. His hand glides down your arm, taking your hand in his, playing with your fingers as he continues, no regard to how intimate this feels. "Unless you would like to get caught during the day, where more people are likely to recognize you?" you respond with a hum, acknowledging his logic. "If we're lucky there will only be one guard and if we're even luckier it'll be some kid who doesn't know me." his words were more like whispers now, speaking as though you were sharing secrets between each other. You cursed yourself silently for wanting to reach out and press his lips to yours. "I'll explain to them that I'm the mortician and I just need to pick up some possessions of a recent client." "And me?" "My get-away-driver?" "Really?!" He laughs at the naivety, "No no, you will be waiting in the car though." "I'm not going to help?" "You are the most crucial part of our plan, y/n. After all, you're the only one of us who knows what was written in your note."

That's right. It isn't like a mortician is privy to the information left behind by the dead; They are there to help in the preparation and celebration of life, not to dig into how the life itself was lived or how it died. You knew what he meant, you had to recreate your suicide note. In all of its emotionally numb phrasing and complete despair, you had to rewrite what was essentially your last will and testament. Just trying to remember those last moments were pure torture. With time the feelings you felt when trying to remember parts of your life turned into more solid memories. The most solid of which were your last moments, honestly, they are the only truly solid memories that you could gather from your former life.

Mingyu sees you lost in thought and brings your hand to his lips, pecking at your knuckles, as intended you snap out of your daze and look at him. "Too forward?" he asks with a grin, trying to gauge your reaction. "Not at all." you push your hand closer to his face, allowing him to continue, he leaves a final kiss on the back of your hand as he moves forward with the conversation.

"And, y/n, none of this has to happen immediately. We can wait for however long you need. Enjoy being back amongst the living for a while before doing anything too exciting." His words take a weight off of your shoulders, Kim Mingyu once again grounding you back to the earth with him. "I'd like that. But I do think we should get the morgue over and done with soon." "How soon are you thinking?" "I don't know, maybe we wait 3 days? Then it'll be the weekend right?" "Yep, the weekend sounds good. Gives us some time to spend with each other…alone this time." the implications make you weak but even in the short time that you've known Mingyu you are certain he wouldn't do anything untoward without explicit permission. That is made much clearer by the way that he holds you like you're the last precious thing on earth and not even sin should be able to touch you.

You guys sit and talk for a while, the conversation eventually veering off to a more casual topic. There weren't any new clients for Mingyu to take today so he was all yours. You stayed on the couch for a while, learning about each other and having mini-arguments over pet peeves.

As lunchtime rolled around Mingyu made you guys some katsu sandwiches to share. You would almost think that he's a professional chef with his skilled cooking but even when complimented he insists that it's all his mother's doing for raising him so well. He leaves you in constant awe at just how lucky you got meeting him, seemingly the perfect man, and he wanted you? It was insane to dwell on that thought too long; Had your last thoughts of wanting someone to love been answered by the grace of a god? Again, it just leaves you speechless, almost as speechless as Mingyu. You were a wonder to him and, by no exaggeration of my own, he believed that you were his gift from god. How comfortable you were with him already, the conversation without judgment, everything down to the way you looked was truly perfect, in his humble opinion.

"We should get you some stuff. Y'know, while I'm off." you nodded your head, your hand in his as you both walked along the pavement. Mingyu suggested a stroll to the convenience store near his house to help with digestion or something along those lines; You didn't fully understand but agreed nonetheless, just enjoying the time you have with him. "What kind of stuff?" "Clothes, toiletries, anything you want really. Oh! Maybe some makeup and heating pads, to make you seem-" "Less dead?" "Yeah…" you chuckle at how shy he gets around the topic as if it's something to be embarrassed about around you. "I feel bad about spending your money though." "Please don't, y/n. I want to take care of you and that includes being able to uphold whatever standard of living you are accustomed to." "Really?" you look up at him. "Yes. I know this isn't the traditional way to woo a woman but I feel like being taken care of garners a lot of affection, and since you're in my house I can't help but kind've treat you like my wife, hopefully…eventually we'll get to that point though." Now you're both blushing at the idea.

I will say it is rather crazy to move this fast with someone you've known for a day but in truth you both felt as if you've known each other for years, like whatever love you harbored from your former life and whatever love Mingyu had held onto in his heart until he met you were puzzle pieces that have finally found each other.

Your thoughts of the future are cut short as you arrive at the convenience store. Perusing the aisles you gravitate towards the snacks you remember liking in life, your comfort foods. Chips, ice cream bars, cup ramen, etc. all staples in your life when you were at your worst. For a moment you feel a need to break the chain reaction of junk food and old habits but Mingyu swoops in with a basket in hand every time you even slightly reach out for an item. He doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to getting the things you like, following you around the store like you've got him on a leash, or like he's your bodyguard and your the sacred princess of Genovia.

He pays and you take notice of the stare-down he gives to the young cashier. While you were picking out your treats the young boy kept glancing at you and giving a shy smile, you hadn't noticed but Mingyu sure did! He made sure to punctuate his "Thank you" with tsks and clicks of the tongue, all while gripping your hand in his quite tightly. "Are you jealous?" "What?" you take him out of his fugue state as you exit. Holding up your hand which he still has in a vice grip you repeat, "Are you jealous? Jealous of that little boy in there." you grin as Mingyu begins to form a pout. "He was checking you out!" "Gyu~" you tease bumping into his shoulder. The sudden nickname makes his heart skip a beat, he has to swallow the lump in his throat if he wants to retort, "I'm trying to make you fall in love with me, it gets a lot harder if there's competition." "Trust me." you once again hold up your conjoined hands, "There is no competition."

The effect is immediate as a smile grows on his lips and he's suddenly dragging you towards the nearest shopping district, repeating something about getting you all the things you want and like. Luckily it doesn't take long for you to arrive on a bustling street where the crowds are endless and the lights shine so brightly that they rival the sun in your eyes. The overstimulation gets to you fast though, and you're quick to grab tightly to the back of Gyu's shirt, attempting to hide yourself from prying eyes and unwanted attention. Instinctively, Mingyu is holding you by the shoulder, keeping you as close to him as humanly possible in this space. He couldn't care less that one of the bags of snacks he's holding is beginning to tear as he roughs his way through the crowds to get you to a quieter place.

A cosmetic store, that's where he's able to stop and let you take a breather. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay, sorry it's just…a lot out there." "No, I should've asked if you felt okay to come here instead of pulling you along of my own volition." "It's fine. Just-" You look around the space, "You said I might need some makeup right? And toiletries? Looks like we ended up right where we should be for those." He acknowledges with a tilt of his head, clinging to you as you begin to walk around.

You breathe out a heavy sigh under all of the gazes following you around the store. Under normal circumstances, you would be trying your best to look as inconspicuous as possible but you know that the eyes aren't on you. Instead, everyone is practically fawning over the man next to you, a mini crowd forming just to be near him. The attention you garner isn't anything more than scoffs and menacing looks from the ladies that hang around. Mingyu doesn't even notice what's going on, typical man you think but honestly all his attention was on you. He was earnestly trying to pick out makeup and skincare that suited you and your complexion, constantly asking if you remembered what products you used in life. All of which only made the other woman gawk and you proudly sport a smile; As if you trained him to be this way but no, he was just madly in love and obsessed with you.

Your excursion ends with Mingyu having bought two large bags worth of beauty and health products, a shit-ton of new clothes for you, the snacks from before, and nearly anything you even mentioned was cute or pretty. Oh! And a new purse and backpack, the purse for you and the backpack for Mingyu, these purchases were made mainly to hold all the other things you guys bought.

Opting to call a taxi rather than lug all of these bags home you both took a catnap in the car. The entire time your pinkies were interlocked, the sight made the driver go red with the overload of sweetness.

By the time you were back, the sun was beginning to set. Mingyu insisted on bringing all the bags inside and up to your room on his own, even lightly scolding you for attempting to bring in the snack bags (the lightest of the bunch). Your stomach growled as you waited so you opened one of the smaller bags of chips, happily munching away as Mingyu transported everything. "Yah!" his yell startles you. "You're not supposed to eat snacks before dinner!" you're shocked at how serious he is about this, his tone like a worried sick mom. Snatching the bag from you he gives you an angry look before placing it, and the rest of the snacks, on a high shelf where you shouldn't be able to reach them without asking him for help. You smile at his antics turning so that you're able to watch him on the couch. Under his breath, he's fabricating an argument about why that's bad for you but he doesn't outwardly explode toward you, he just wants what's best, and even more than that he wants you to eat dinner with him if you ruin your dinner with snacks he would just be left sulky and by himself. You admire the way he holds it in, the cute little pout making you grow heart-eyes for the man.

You turn on the TV to serve as some white noise while Gyu prepares dinner. As you begin backtracking through the day, a small movie plays in your head of all the most memorable moments. You contemplate love and being in love and the ease of your relationship with Mingyu. All the affection is suddenly hitting you at once and you're at odds with yourself. On one hand, it is so incredibly strange to be as comfortable and loving towards Mingyu as you have been; On the other, it just feels so natural, to be in his presence and accept and give love to him. You start to question your own beliefs, are you able to call this love? Is this simply a crush and honeymoon phase? Love can't be grown out of something as simple as physical attraction but you're so sure that it's much more than his body that you like and you can only hope that it's the same way for him.

You're mulling is interrupted as Mingyu brings over your plates. Katsu curry and rice, the perfect warm meal during these colder days. Gyu explains that he just cooked what katsu was leftover from lunch and then made a simple curry from stuff he already had. You both dig in, watching a K-drama and pointing out all the ridiculous exaggerations and cringing at all the lovey-dovey scenes, however, both of you make it apparent that those scenes are still cute, perhaps an attempt to convince the other to recreate them someday but who's to say?

The steps of the previous day seem to turn routine. Gyu washing the dishes while you head upstairs to get ready for bed.

You finish with your nighttime routine when there's a knock at your bedroom door. Opening it you find Mingyu leaning against the doorframe, freshly showered and smiling down at you. "Mind if I come in?" "Not at all" You open the door wider, welcoming him inside. "Just wanted to see if you needed any help putting all your stuff away." he gestures to all the disorganized bags littering the floor, some of them already rifled through so you could have pajamas to wear tonight. "I will take any help you're willing to give me…" your voice trails off as you're applying moisturizer that'll hopefully add a youthful glow to you skin according to the packaging. Once finished you meet Mingyu in the middle of the room, sorting the bags into different areas of the room according to where the contents should be stored.

"Gyu?" "Yes?" "Do you think we are going too fast?" the thought just came to mind while the silence overtook the both of you as you arranged your belongings; You couldn't help but ask. "Too fast?" "Yeah, I mean with the touching and holding hands and stuff…" He turns to face you, you're putting away all the makeup and skincare from earlier, avoiding how he's studying you right now. "Are you comfortable with what we're doing now?" he rests against the dresser completely focused on your response. "It's nice. It's just- I don't know if the pace is normal, I've only known you a day."

He thinks for a moment before approaching you, placing a hand on your shoulder as he looks at you through the mirror. "If you want me to slow down, I will. I don't care about what the normal pace is. I care about what you feel, y/n. Nothing else matters to me." "I don't know. What we've been doing has been comfortable, maybe overly so. A part of me is worrying that if we treat this like we've known each other forever then we are only blinding ourselves to actually getting to know one another." he's stunned at your reasoning, he gets the gist of what you're saying but a part of his heart does break knowing that he might be setting up unintentional barriers between the two of you. "Oh. I don't- Sorry. Everything is really comfortable for me too. I've just been acting on instinct when it comes to you and I guess that's mainly been romantic in nature. But I can slow down! We can start with keeping some distance, not holding hands, getting to know one another…" It pained him to say this. After yearning for someone like you for so long and now to have you, only to say that he'll distance himself? He can feel the cracks in his heart form but if it meant that you were able to feel normal and feel good about this situation then he would do it, albeit reluctantly. Just saying the words made him miss your touch.

You nod along in agreement; A part of you wants to resist everything you're saying and doing, an almost carnal want to continue with what you have now. But an even bigger part of you is saying that this is the right choice. Pushing yourself too far and too fast can only cause trouble and with the way your mood affects your entire being, you'd hate to move forward and unintentionally create a ticking time bomb within yourself.

With Mingyu's help your able to organize all your new possessions, probably much more efficiently and tactfully than you would've been able to do on your own. You thank him and as he's leaving you hang by the door, although his room is only a few feet away you have to resist the urge to tell him to stay, to hug you goodnight, to suddenly refuse the terms you both laid out before. But instead, you close the door, moving to sit at the edge of your bed, and plop down backward with your head in your hands. God, you think you're starting to fall in love.

As he leaves Mingyu prays in his mind with all his might that you'll call him back, that you'll catch his wrist and pull him into the room once again, or that he'll have the courage to completely refute what you said before and just hold you as close as he can until you both fall asleep. But the door shuts with a click of the knob. He waits, just emptily staring at your door, what he's waiting for he doesn't exactly know but he stays there until he sees the lights in your room go out. Dragging himself to his own bed he curls under his sheets. He can't stop thinking about you.

The next morning you wake with the sun shining, the birds chirping, and no noisy men screaming and barging into your room. In fact, the house was very quiet, eerily quiet. After washing up you decide to take a peak into Mingyu's room thinking that maybe he's slept in but surprisingly there's no sign of him anywhere. His bed is tidied, and judging from the state of his bathroom he had already been awake and had gotten ready. Curiously you wandered downstairs, taking light steps out of fear, ironic given that you were probably the scariest thing in here right now. And no signs of life, no Mingyu, no friends, the house was completely empty with the exception of you.

You're about to start full-on investigating the disappearance of a man who was previously attached to your hip when the talk from last night hits you. Was he giving you some distance? And if he was why did he feel the need to put this much distance between you two? Fortunately, your questions are all answered when you find a note on the kitchen counter.

"Forgot to let you know that I have to go back to work today. I'll be home by 5, please help yourself to anything in the house. I made you breakfast and lunch, it's in the fridge, just heat them up in the microwave. And don't eat snacks until after you have a good meal, please!! We should really get you a phone."

Sure enough, you found two bowls neatly plated and wrapped in saran wrap labeled "Breakfast" and "Lunch" in the fridge. You wonder how he found the time to cook these before work and make a mental note to thank him for it once he gets home.

The rest of your day is spent lazing around the house extremely bored without any other forms of entertainment than the TV and the few magazines/books around the house. You spend an embarrassing amount of time just looking at the clock in the living room, counting down the hours and minutes. Then around 3, an idea sparks.

Carefully you creep upstairs and towards Mingyu's room, trying your best not to make any noise even though you know that no one can catch you right now. The sudden urge to rummage through Gyu's personal effects has taken over you. It's not like you're trying to find anything incriminating but more so like you're trying to piece together his life like he's pieced together yours.

As expected his room is as flawless as the rest of the home, you'd known it was clean from your peak earlier but that thought is driven home as you open the drawers and closet. You'd almost think he's in the military with how uniform everything is.

Guilt starts to seep through the longer you're in here however and you take a step back from his closet. What am I doing? You sit at the edge of his bed looking for an answer as to why you feel the need to do this, scrutinizing yourself for going behind his back even if you don't harbor any bad intentions. You let yourself fall backward, now completely lying down. You can't help but hum as the familiar smell of Mingyu comes to you like a warm hug. Getting lost in his scent you decide to close your eyes for a while.

"Y/n, I'm home!" Mingyu yells as he takes his shoes off at the door. Silence...The lack of response makes his eye twitch.

Unlike you, Gyu has not been bored all day, if anything he's been overly stressed. Two different clients to deal with, one service, and all that's been on his mind is you. While working he's been scolding himself for not getting you a phone yesterday to keep in contact. Over lunch, he has half the mind to drive all the way back home just to make sure you're okay but holds in the itch to do so.

"Mingyu! Mingyu hyung!" he snaps out of his daydream as Chan, the Crematorium tech, shouts at him. "Hyung, are you okay?" "Huh? What?" "You're so out of it that you've barely touched your food…" "I'm good, just thinking." "What about? The case we have today? Yeah, it really sucks having to do deep reconstruc-" "No, not that." "Ohhhh" a grin spread across Chan's face, "Is this about the you know~" he raises his eyebrows suggestively. The confusion on Mingyu's face is enough for Chan to continue, "Kwan hyung told me you had a girl over at your house." Suddenly Gyu is listening attentively at your mention. "He said what?" "Yeah, he said that him, Seokmin, and Wonwoo all went over and met your girlfriend" he teases Gyu, nudging his shoulder. "He was all weird about it though…" "What do you mean he was weird?" "I don't know, he kept going on and on about how strange she was acting. I'll be honest I started tuning him out after the first couple of sentences…Don't tell him that though! He thinks I was super into it." Chan keeps the conversation going while Mingyu pokes at his food uninterested past the subject of you.

His mind races thinking about Seungkwan and his prodding. He hadn't thought much about the interaction from yesterday but now he felt like it was something to worry about. And chances are if he's worrying about it then you're probably being tortured by the thought, his resolve breaks an hour before he's meant to leave work. Making sure everything is in order he gives quick goodbyes to everyone at the mortuary before speeding back home.

Your silence as he returns has him on edge. Gyu continues to shout your name while searching around the house. He's thinking about all the possibilities at once, could you have gone to the convenience store? Oh god, what if you went back to that busy shopping district without him? Had Seungkwan came and interrogated you, forcing you to leave? WHAT IF YOU WERE DROWNING IN THE BATHTUB????

Hurriedly he's opening doors like a madman, his anxiety only increasing as he enters your room and you aren't there. The last place he thinks you could be is in his room, he didn't think you'd have any reason to be there. So as he opens the door, phone in hand to call Kwan in case he had come by to see you, the biggest sigh of relief is let out as he sees your sleeping figure sprawled across his bed.

Without a second thought, he's kneeling at the side of the bed that you're facing. Gently he brushes the hair from your face so that it doesn't disturb his view of you. A slight chuckle comes from him seeing your face squished up against his sheets. Disregarding what you had talked about last night he climbs on the bed, slowly bringing your back towards his chest to spoon you, careful not to rouse you from your nap. For a moment he thinks about how he should change out of his day clothes but it's a secondary thought that flits away the moment he feels you turn towards him.

Even in your sleep, you covet the warmth that Mingyu brings you, unconsciously tugging at his shirt to bring him even closer.

Now entangled in your embrace Gyu can't resist the invitation to doze off. He rests his head on yours, a smile creeping onto his face as he drifts off, the only dreams he wants are ones that have you in them and he's happy to have no dreams at all as long as he has you with him in the waking world.

A/N: Sorry for the late post, I actually went crazy writing this. Can you believe I pulled off 6k in 2 days? The most insane thing is that I didn't even end up getting to the point in the story that I was meant to with the chapter... ;-; Also, the Texan urge to type "y'all" in every paragraph had me in a choke-hold. Have a nice weekend lovelies! Tell me what you thought of the chapter by commenting, reblogging, liking, or shooting me an ask! The taglist for this series is open and my requests are open as well!!

TAGLIST (open):@jjin-kun @mydolle-dd

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