#she literally framed her entire perspective on him around his weight with some really ridiculous (read: fatphobic) speculations/assumptions

[wonder-worker]

I heard that Edward IV and Elizabeth Widvile were known to be very beautiful. Were there any reports on their appearance at the time?

anon 😂

But yes, contemporaries and post contemporaries in the 16th century were pretty much unanimous in praising their appearance. I'll list some of the ones I could find:

Elizabeth:

'The most beautiful woman in England' ('la plus belle fille d'Engleterre') - Jean de Waurin

'Her very great beauty' ('sa tres grande beaute') - Jean de Waurin

"Her beauty of person and charm of manner" - Dominic Mancini

"None of such constant womanhood, wisdom and beauty" - Hearne's Fragment; its author was one of Edward IV's servants

"A daughter of prodigious beauty' - 1469 Continuator of Monstrelet's Chronicle

"Both faire, of a good favor, moderate of stature, well made and very wise" - Thomas More

Edward IV:

"The beauty of your personage it hath pleased Almighty God to send you" - James Strangways, Speaker of the Commons in Parliament

"The king is a handsome upstanding man" - Gabriel Tretzel, travels of Leo of Rozmital

"A handsome prince and had style" - Oliver De La Marche

"In the flower of his age, tall of stature, elegant of person" - Croyland Chronicle

"One of the handsomest knights of his kingdom" - 1469 Continuator of Monstrelet's Chronicle

"A handsome and worthy prince" - Pietro Alipranto

‘...Tall and strapping as the king’ - John Paston, Paston Letters

"He was young and more handsome than any man then alive" - Philippe de Commynes

"A man so vigorous and handsome that he might have been made for the pleasures of the flesh" - Philippe de Commynes

"The handsomest prince my eyes ever beheld" and "I don't remember ever having seen a man more handsome than he was" - Philippe de Commynes

"A very handsome prince" - Louis XI, from the Memoirs of Commynes

"He being a person of most elegant appearance, and remarkable beyond all others for the attractions of his person" - the Croyland Chronicle, referencing Edward a few months before he died

"He seized any opportunity that the occasion offered of revealing his fine stature more protractedly and more evidently to onlookers" - Dominic Mancini, writing shortly after his death

"He was a goodly personage and very princely to behold...of visage lovely, of body mighty, strong and cleanly made; howbeit in his latter days, with an over liberal diet, somewhat corpulent, but nevertheless noy uncomely" - Thomas More

Etc.

I'm tagging @edwardslovelyelizabeth because I think you got a similar ask?

I hope this answers your question, anon! I don't generally pay a lot of attention to the physical appearance of historical figures (I find it pretty irrelevant), but in this case, it ultimately does play a role in both Edward IV and Elizabeth's historiographies for better and for worse, and seems to have actually been a personal prop of Edward's kingship, so I don't mind discussing it :)

[sinfulneverlcnd]

Perhaps she should have taken the single seater option... the man was huge. His frame settling into the larger one alongside of her, he took up the majority of the space. The force perspective really didn’t help with the whole trying to avert her gaze thing. He was ridiculously handsome, but she wouldn’t allow her mind to dwell on it any longer. Re-training her gaze back to the fire, hiding her smirk behind her mug as she sipped delicately at the chamomile tea. It was steaming hot, the liquid burning her lips. Exactly the way she liked it. She’d gotten her hands on the copper kettle a couple of years ago and it was one of her favorite possessions. The stranger was silent for a moment, lost in thought or just had nothing to say - who knew. With him, it could go either way... but a moment later, he glanced her way, the small talk clearly something he didn’t do often.

“A few times a month, only when I need supplies.” She shrugged nonchalantly. A couple of her trader connections operated in Jackson, she’d go there for anything she couldn’t grow or make herself. “It’s where I got my generator, the kettle, and that glorious coffee.” He was right, Jackson did have the best coffee. She was grateful for the proximity to the town, and the connections she’d made. Not to mention the cabin... fate, or sheer dumb luck brought her here and amongst the wood and throw blankets, she’d managed to build a home. Something she’d never known before the outbreak.

Willow couldn’t tell you how long they sat there, hours? Minutes? Time dissolved into the background, there was something safe in his presence. The edge she’d been standing on her entire life not quite as sharp with him there, like maybe she was safe enough to relax even slightly... which was the oddest sensation for her. She’d quite literally, picked him up on the side of the street only a couple of hours ago and yet it was like she recognized something deep down, something in his soul that told her everything was fine. That she was okay with him being around... 

There wasn’t much conversation; didn’t need to be. The silence strangely comforting. Shaking her head, she noticed his eyelids starting to drop. The mug siting a little looser in his hand. He’d kicked his boots off somewhere between sitting down and now, and his body relaxed into the overstuffed cushions. Willow moved slowly, easing the ceramic out of his grasp and taking both into the kitchen. Washing both before making her way back to the couch. Joel had slipped down, until he’d taken up the entire length of the too-small piece of furniture, his eyes already closed. Like the weight of the world too much for him to continue carrying a moment longer. A small smile played at the corner of her lips as she reached over his body for the blanket draped over the couch. It barely covered him completely, but he was covered nonetheless. With the fire still in full force, he wouldn’t feel the cold at all.

Willow slept for a few solid hours, for the first time in, well, twenty years. The sun rising in the distance woke her. It’s golden rays filtering lazily through the windows, filling the cabin with a different kind of glow. Joel was still sleeping peacefully, likely the only time he had slept as well. He looked like he hadn’t moved an inch the entire night... she stoked the fire, gently dropping in a few fresh logs to keep it going before getting started in the kitchen. She had a handful of eggs and some bacon that she’d traded the last time she was in Jackson, and preparing both of them while she waited for the sleeping beauty to wake...

Joel looked around at the seating options; none of which appeared to be made for someone like him. He waited for Willow to take a seat before he did the same. Growing up he was taught that you must always let the guest sit first but he made an indication with his hand for her to take a seat. As the woman sat down, her gaze moving to the fireplace, Joel took a seat beside her on the double-seated sofa. It was huge but there was a gap of a few inches between the two which made him feel more comfortable. The tiny single seater which was placed next to the roaring fire looked like a chair made for a hobbit compared to him.

As the image appeared in his mind’s eye, he briefly recalled taking Sarah to see The Lord of the Rings at the movie theatre. Those days seemed like a distant dream to him now. Sometimes he was terrified her was starting to forget all the little things that made Sarah Sarah. It had been twenty years, longer than she had lived in fact, and he had spent a lot of them trying not to remember his past life because it was so painful to remember what he had lost and how responsible he was for what happened. Another part of him wanted to hold onto all the memories so that he wouldn’t forget those little things about her. It was like cutting his heart with a knife either way; to remember or to forget.

Joel had been so lost in his reverie that he internally jumped when the brunette spoke. He took a large mouthful of coffee to compose himself before glancing her way and nodding. “Do you go to Jackson often?” He asked, his gaze returning to the flames. Now that he was starting to relax a little, he could feel the wariness in his bones. He hoped he could sleep soon, though he wondered if he would be able to. He thought of Ellie and wondered how she was doing. If he missed anything from the old world it was cell phones. He took a final mouthful of the beverage before placing it on the small coffee table in front of them. “Jackson has the best coffee.” He agreed, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

[ectonurites]

I don’t think it’s fair to reduce the way tim treated steph to ‘he treats her like a damsel bc he’s worried for her’ when he could be rlly condescending and treated her like she was incompetent a lot of the time. like..writers may frame that as him being worried for her but it’s sexism

I agree with you in general but I want to talk about this more (under the cut) because I don’t think those things need to be considered separate the way it feels like you’re implying. A huge part of the ‘treating her like a damsel in distress’ idea I was talking about is the ‘treating her like she’s incompetent/he knows more than her’ which itself is extremely condescending, and all of that is definitely rooted in sexism and I never meant to imply it wasn’t.

(Detective Comics (2016) #934)

To start I want to clarify that in the answer from last night that I used the ‘damsel’ terminology for (again I was specifically referencing the ‘damsel in distress’ trope/archetype, I guess that may not have been clear since I was just saying ‘damsel’) i was more broadly trying to refer to a common theme in his behavior among several of his canon relationships not just with Steph, because that’s how things often felt with Ariana, Tam, etc, and there are aspects of it at play with Steph among other things because their relationship was fleshed out more and very complicated. I’ve talked about some of this stuff with Tim’s relationships before here. 

Tim has struggled with treating his romantic partners as equals for several reasons I think but some big ones are def internalized sexism and ideas related to heteronormativity (The internalized heteronormativity stuff is something I’ve also talked about with him here a bit when discussing my views on his sexuality/his attraction to women) and with Steph I think you could also argue for a level of classism being involved too. However it can be tricky figuring out exactly how much of these things are ‘biases of the writers that they put into their works and it clearly also effects other characters aside from just him’ vs ‘we are intentionally writing the character to have these as traits’, ya know? Especially with a character who’s been written by so many different people which leads to inconsistency. 

In general though I feel like these internalized biases he definitely has to some extent just by being an upperclass and (in canon, even if we as fans chose to interpret him differently) cishet guy can contribute to what I was talking about with him feeling like he has to ‘protect’ partners ‘for their own good’. Heteronormative ideas about what ‘the guy’ is supposed to do plus some internalized sexism causing him to see himself as inherently more skilled/prepared for things can absolutely connect to him being overprotective and/or controlling. (I do think an aspect of those tendencies comes from his general sense of duty and need to protect people though, as that’s a huge motivator for him being a hero and he’s one of those people that just takes the weight of the world on his shoulders at times. But something like the way he sometimes seems incapable of accepting that someone like Steph can protect herself is definitely rooted in sexism)

And like, the stuff you’re talking about with him being condescending and treating Steph as incompetent is related to that in a lot of ways. He often doesn’t really see her as being cut out for hero life, mainly because Bruce didn’t approve of her as a hero at times due to a mix of fears about her becoming another Jason (in the era before Red Hood stuff happened though, I mean that as in her getting killed in action) and his own sexism. Bruce’s opinion is probably the most prominent justification from Tim’s perspective for why he feels he needs to protect her and tell her what to do early on in their knowing each other, but there’s definitely underlying sexism at play there from him as well because he just has the automatic mentality of ‘ah yes im the superhero guy and she is the inexperienced one who has no idea what she’s doing clearly this is my responsibility now’. 

However I do think his reasoning for this way of thinking shifted later, and by the end of the Robin comic where they have that rooftop fight in #182 he’s seeing her as unfit for the life because of more specific things aside from just ‘sexism and Batman said so’. Like uhhhh the entire last arc of Robin (once FabNic took over the comic so #176-the end), with her going behind his back and nearly getting him killed, etc. Like, he still has no right to try to control her and the way he went about communicating his point to her was wrong and likely influenced once again by internalized sexism (he even admits later that the way he phrased things was ‘mean-spirited’ once he’d cooled off a bit), but there are some pretty clear reasons by that point as to why he’s saying he thinks she shouldn’t be a hero anymore. Again, doesn’t make him right, but I see that scene float around without proper context pretty frequently which definitely misrepresents the situation. You could definitely start to talk about sexism in FabNic’s writing here though and how he literally made all this shit be Steph’s fault basically as soon as she got officially brought back (literally Tim finds out she’s alive again in Robin #174 and by #176 she’s already doing things behind his back it’s ridiculous)

But anyways, the point in all that is that sexism is absolutely a factor in him thinking she’s someone he needs to worry about/protect and him treating her like she’s incompetent and incapable of doing so herself, and that those things are related. In general the combination of all that is what I meant about treating the girls he’s been with as ‘damsels in distress he’s worried about’, if that makes sense. By using the phrasing I did I wasn’t trying to reduce it to being something less than or different from that. I was more just talking about the way the behavior exhibits itself rather than taking a deep dive into where the behavior comes from.

Also side tangent but briefly circling back to part of what I said earlier, I really do think that bringing up the ‘biases of writers’ aspect is important in these conversations, because when a writer is sexist as fuck and thinks certain things are normal those ideas will bleed into their writing through the characters, and like it doesn’t mean we should necessarily just ignore what they wrote because it’s stuff that still happened but like, it should be acknowledged as such. In general there has been so much misogyny/sexism in the handling of Steph, I feel like that’s a pretty commonly understood thing. I mean hell even aside from more recent discussion about it all, you can also look around online and see the kinds of reactions there were to her treatment in War Games and the follow up stuff when it was still new, the end section on Steph in this 2005 (so before the ‘Steph is alive’ retcon) discussion of misogyny in the batbooks for example. And while yes we should hold Tim as a character responsible for his specific actions with her, we should also remember how people in charge at DC decided Steph was “toxic” for years and wouldn’t let her show up anywhere because they just wanted her gone, how they made her Robin to create more interest in her as a character before killing her off, etc etc. 

[professionalfixator]

The Complicated Relationship of Gilbert and Moody

An Analysis That No One Asked For But Got Anyway 

By G.H. Tehrani, Psychology Student

The relationship of Gilbert Blythe and Moody Spurgeon is complicated to say the least. It is also complicated to analyze, given that the amount of screentime of them is extremely limited, ranging anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. But from this little screentime showrunner Moira Walley-Beckett gave us, there is a lot to break down. While you may think this is an unimportant relationship to break down (why not Moody and Charlie, or Gilbert and Billy?), Gilbert and Moody could actually have a large role in future seasons and can say something really interesting about the state of society - but more on those later.  First, we have to take it back to the beginning. 

Where It All Started: Season 1 

As you all know, because we are watching from Anne’s perspective, we meet the schoolkids after they have all known each other for years. We don’t know exactly how long they have known each other, but since it’s a small town, I’m going to guess it’s been since they were little kids. 

In episode 3, Gilbert walks into the schoolhouse and we instantly know his social role. He’s the tall, smart, popular guy with the dark eyes that all the girls love. Interestingly enough, the first person to call out Gilbert’s name when he returns to school is Moody, who immediately pulls him away to ask him all about his travelling adventures. 

Moody is, simply put, the opposite of Gilbert in Season 1. He’s shorter than the other boys, chubby and jolly. It’s not a far cry to say that Moody admired Gilbert, and aspired to be like him, especially since Gilbert is a year older. Most of the boys did. Moody most likely always wished that he could have the same kind of attention that Gilbert gets from the girls, instead of just being called “ridiculous” (as Diana delightfully put it). No one would ever call Gilbert ridiculous...he’s Gilbert! 

We can tell by their interactions that Gilbert is at least vaguely friends with Moody and the other boys. He jokes around with them, goofs off in class, and generally seems to be having a good time with them. 

But when Gilbert’s father dies in Season 1 Episode 6, we see a drastic change in Gilbert’s personality, and this lends itself to changes within his relationships as well. 

Gilbert’s Crisis: Season 1 to Season 2

After Mr. Blythe’s death at the end of Season 1, we see a much more emotionally disturbed version of Gilbert. He’s grieving, and not taking it well. He pushes everyone away, including Anne, and punches Billy in the face when he calls him his “bud”. Although we don’t see Moody in any of this, we do get a look inside Gilbert’s head. The insensitivity of his classmates puts him off and for the first time, he sees the gap between him and them. They’re still kids and don’t understand the weight of what he’s going through. This most likely factored into his decision to leave town and travel the world.

When he meets Bash, it seems like Bash gets through to him, helping him heal from his father’s death. He sings, writes letters to Anne, and seems like he’s having the time of his life (who wouldn’t be, travelling is awesome). He also discovers his passion for medicine when he gives birth to a baby in Trinidad. 

Growing Up: Season 2

While Gilbert was travelling the world, Moody was having some firsts of his own. He has his - presumably - first kiss in Season 2 Episode 5, when he’s forced to kiss Diana during spin the bottle. But overall, it seems like he was still the same character he was in Season 1, just a little older, but that could be because we hardly get to see him this season, at least in the first 5 or so episodes. 

But it seems that travelling did Gilbert a world of good, because when he returns to Avonlea with Bash, we see him chatting with his schoolmates. 

He seems perfectly fine here, almost like his old sociable self, but there’s a distance there. Things can’t quite be the same. He agrees to help with the pantomime, but stays off to the side, not interacting with any of his schoolmates. He actually never interacts with his schoolmates after that brief shot in Episode 6 of Season 2, except for going to help Cole when he breaks his wrist (thanks, Billy), but that doesn't entirely count, since he was in Doctor Blythe mode. In every schoolhouse scene, Gilbert is sitting by himself studying for his vocation. We really don't see any kind of Gilbert-schoolmate relationship, nevermind Gilbert and Moody. The only times we see them in the same scene or frame was:

1. When Moody is backstage during the pantomime and Gilbert is manning the rig, however we don't see them speak to each other,

And 2. When Moody is about to lick the lightbulb and Gilbert, Anne and literally everyone else in the room yell at him not to.

So, this leaves us with Season 3, where most of Gilbert and Moody's interactions occur, and where we can really closely study their relationship.

At Odds: Season 3

At the start of Season 3, we're put at a bit of disadvantage. We have no idea what happened in the last 2 years since Season 2, but we can assume that it followed the same pattern, the schoolkids growing up and having new experiences, while Gilbert drifted away into adulthood.

At the beginning of Season 3, we see him playing hockey with the boys, so he isn't completely detached (yet). Gilbert is still ignoring Ruby (more on that later) and Moody is flirting with Diana. 

Again they don't interact. Now, just because we don't SEE them interact doesn't mean that they never do, but it's safe to say that outside of the canon scenes, they don't either. Case in point: the 3x01 classroom scene. Gilbert is sitting in a corner reading a book, and Moody is on the other end of the room talking with some other boys. No interaction.

Gilbert is playing with them, yes, but that doesn't mean he is ONE of them, not anymore anyway. (Note: It is mentioned that he leaves often to go to Charlottetown for his apprenticeship with Dr. Ward.) The boys probably view him as less of a peer and more of this distant figure who is sometimes there and sometimes isn't.

But! Remember what we mentioned early on in this essay: "It’s not a far cry to say that Moody admired Gilbert, and aspired to be like him, especially since Gilbert is a year older. [...] Moody most likely always wished that he could have the same kind of attention that Gilbert gets from the girls."

Things have changed now, Moody is older. Slimmer and taller, but that doesn't mean he's not still insecure. He still respects Gilbert and his opinion. The evidence for this? 

1. In 3x05, when Moody is injured and the Indigenous healer offers him the leaf of a weeping tree, he initially refuses, only accepting because it was Gilbert who told him it was okay to eat it, 

2. Also in 3x05, Moody asks Dr. Gilbert if it’s okay to dance, but Gilbert says no, so he doesn’t dance, 

3. And in 3x07, when Moody rightfully criticizes Anne for her article, the moment Gilbert claps back at him in her defence, he immediately shuts up and looks almost sheepish - showing us that he really values Gilbert’s opinion, even though earlier on they are clearly seen arguing - only interrupted by Miss Stacy’s paper airplane. 

These are all moments that show us that Moody respects Gilbert, because he’s older and is studying to be a doctor. However, he is the only one that thinks that way. By this point, most of the Avonlea boys don’t want to be friends with Gilbert anymore (this is made clear by the fact that none of the boys are seen talking to him ever). Gilbert has pushed them away enough times for them to stay away. But Moody is the only one who still wants to be friends with Gilbert. This is evidenced by: 

1. In 3x08, Moody actively attempts to make conversation with Gilbert at Miss Stacy’s house. He asks him about Winifred and invites him to the ruins (possibly hopeful that he would actually show up), 

2. Also in 3x08, Moody hyperventilates and yells, “Where is Gilbert!?” - either because of Gilbert’s doctor status or because he wanted him to be there for moral support, 

3. In 3x09, when they’re rebuilding the school, Moody AGAIN tries to make conversation with Gilbert, asking him about Winnie and what he’s going to do after he’s married, but Gilbert blows him off and walks away in the middle of their conversation, 

4. and finally, in 3x10, when they get their exam results, Moody congratulates Gilbert by calling him PEI’s finest.  

More than once we see Moody try to be Gilbert’s friend, supportive of him, and time and time again Gilbert blows him off or treats him like he’s less than. Because in Gilbert’s mind, he is. Moody could never understand him. We can tell by his responses to Moody’s advances. Blank stare, eyebrows, “That’s not how it works”, “I know what you meant Moody” or just not showing up. He doesn’t show up to the ruins, the only reason he went there was to talk to Anne. He treats Moody like he’s below him or just one of his patients - like in 3x05. 

Not to mention that he purposefully humiliated him in 3x07 in front of Ruby. Moody was right about Anne’s article, and he was in the right to voice his opinion, and Gilbert arguably crossed a line by putting him down, exposing Moody’s feelings for Ruby to the class (don’t think Gilbert chose a random person for his demonstration). 

But, I’m not going to get too ahead of myself, because we haven’t even talked about Ruby yet. 

Gilbert, Moody and Ruby: Season 1 to Season 3

Ruby genuinely loved Gilbert. 

That’s a bold statement, but it is arguably true. She cared for him, about as much as a 10 to 16-year-old could given their less developed prefrontal cortex. Sure, it was a little obsessive, but you can’t tell me there wasn’t some actual feeling in there. In 1x03, Josie tells us Ruby has liked Gilbert for three years, and by the time we get to Season 3, six years. 

S i x y e a r s. For Ruby to be able to like Gilbert for six years, she must have seen something in him other than looks (though she mentions it the most). In Season 1, Gilbert is handsome, kind, charismatic, and smart. I could see where she’s coming from. He was a good guy. 

But here’s the thing, for all of Ruby’s love and adoration, Gilbert never gave her a single thing back. (Yes, he lifted her off the ground, but that was because Anne was there.) 

Not once did Gilbert ever do anything nice for Ruby because he actually wanted to. No matter what Ruby would do, how obvious she made her feelings, Gilbert ignored her and liked Anne - her best friend(!) instead. The gentlemanly thing to do would have been to tell Ruby he wasn’t interested in her, but that never happened. I don’t know if that makes Gilbert an oblivious boy or a jerk. But he couldn’t have been that oblivious since he’s an observant guy. 

The only explanation would be that he didn’t see Ruby an important person to clear things up with. Again, we see Gilbert deeming people less than because of his own cognitive bias toward thinking he is superior to everyone else in maturity because of his life experience. The only reason he paid any attention to Anne in the first place, was because he deemed her as an equal to his superior maturity, which she was. 

Given all this, where does Moody fit in? 

Moody was always a good friend to Ruby. We don’t see it very much, but they were in the same school together, and Moody helped her and Anne save Miss Stacy. 

But that also means, being Ruby’s acquaintance/friend, he watched her cry over Gilbert for six years. 

For six years, he has seen Ruby try and fail to get Gilbert’s attention and be disappointed when it doesn’t work out. A never-ending cycle of tears and hurt, that Moody could do nothing to help because he was just her guy friend. We know Moody wants to help people -  that’s why he’s going to become a minister - so for him to be unable to help Ruby is just painful. 

In Season 3, Moody has experienced a similar situation with Diana (Diana deems people less than because of her superior social status and wealth), so now he knows how Ruby feels and he’s even more empathetic toward her.

Does Moody harbor resentment toward Gilbert for his treatment of Ruby? Maybe. 

In 3x03, when Ruby is crying over Gilbert’s absence (again) and accidentally wrote his name in the newspaper. Everyone laughs but Moody looks on sympathetically, showing this is upsetting him more than it is amusing him. 

When Ruby says, “Gilbert was so heroic”, Moody gives her his handkerchief, which in that time period was a very heroic thing to do. It’s an act of romance and the first nice thing a boy has ever done for Ruby...which is kind of sad if you think about it. Moody is conveying in that moment that Gilbert isn’t the only heroic boy in Avonlea (he is too). 

This means so much to her, that she ends up getting over Gilbert and falling for Moody instead, which is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. 

The Future of Gilbert and Moody: Season 4 and Beyond

Even though Anne with an E was sadly cancelled in November 2019, due to an ongoing dispute between Netflix and CBC, that doesn’t mean we can’t theorize about the content of a future Season 4 and 5. 

We know Moody is going to be going to Queens withe rest of his classmates and Gilbert is going to University of Toronto. However, Moody’s time at Queens is probably temporary. In the books, he becomes a minister, so I searched up Bible Colleges in Canada to see where he would be able to train as one. I discovered that a new college had just opened in the late 1890s: Toronto Bible College, which trained common-folk as missionaries and ministers. 

The cool part? Toronto Bible College was down the street from University of Toronto. 

Moody and Gilbert would be going to school together, maybe even rooming together, for the next 3 years. 

How would their relationship in Seasons 1 - 3 factor in to their experience as roommates? It would be interesting to see Moody confront Gilbert for what he did to Ruby. This would give Gilbert an opportunity to redeem himself and be likable again. 

Some Controversial Conclusions on Gilbert Blythe 

I started this essay in early January, but it is now late March and I have left the Anne with an E fandom. One of the reasons I left was the growing toxicity and idealization of Gilbert. All the time I would see tweets and posts claiming that, “Gilbert is my dream man”, “I wish I had a guy like Gilbert”, “The only good guys are fictional (Gilbert)”. It ticked me off because it’s just not true. Gilbert is not a good guy. He is a jerk with a superiority complex. 

In every version of Anne, Gilbert completely worships Anne. He adores her, writes poems for her, almost dies without her. He is very needy and clingy, and we view that as romantic, because we want to be worshiped. 

Dating Gilbert would include him being unable to survive without you, constantly fearing you’re going to fall out of love with him, needing constant reiteration of your feelings, showering you with affection and flowery words, and possibly not allowing you to have any male friends. That isn’t romantic. 

Being true equals in a secure relationship would be understanding that you love each other - and being secure in that - and being able to let them be free to do the things they want to do without constantly needing validation. I’m not saying Gilbert in AWAE is toxic, but he has severe communication issues that no girl should have to put up with. 

Note: I’m not saying that Gilbert is a bad person through and through. He is a gentle soul, we see it in his interactions with Bash, Mary and Delphine. A lot of his negative actions may have subconscious causes. But we’re not slaves to our subconscious. Even if we are implicitly being a jerk, there are still conscious ways to change our behavior and become better people.  

[catie-does-things]

On My Way to Steal Yo...Seat: Ember Island Players & Zutara Shipbaiting

(Or: The best time for a Zutara Rant(TM) is all the time.)

Ah, Zutara, the ship of dreams, technically sunk ten years ago but still afloat in countless shipper hearts. The ways in which the creators of AtLA did the fans dirty on this one could be an entire discussion unto itself, but right now I want to focus on a particular episode, which I think suggests that, when it came to the show’s romantic relationships, the showrunners’ priorities were not where they should have been.

That episode is The Ember Island Players. And the trouble all starts with one little comedic moment.

An extremely awkward moment they went out of the way to include.

Before we dive in, let’s take a step back and establish our priorities here. I’m not going to use this post to make claims about secret Zutara subtext, or even argue the merits of Zutara as a ship, really. Conversely, to the extent that I critique Kataang, it’s going to focus strictly on writing choices and leave aside the question of whether Aang and Katara are romantically suited for each other as characters or not. For the purposes of this post, we will take as granted that Kataang was the intended endgame pairing from the beginning, and romantic Zutara was never intended at all, and look at how the showrunners went about handling that.

(under a cut because woah this got long)

The Ember Island Players is an entire episode built around the show parodying itself and its fandom. In such an episode, it would be almost impossible to avoid at least alluding to the ship wars, which for those of you not part of the fandom back then, were absolutely massive. (And encouraged by the show’s promotion - but that’s another story.) Whatever Bryke’s intentions, the Zutara phenomenon had grown so influential that Zuko was perceived by fans as Aang’s main rival for Katara’s affections - in spite of never being presented as such in the show. That’s begging for a joke or two, isn’t it?

So before the parody play even starts, we get the moment in the gif above, a joke which is painfully dragged out by Aang shyly pointing out that he wanted to sit next to Katara, and Zuko’s utter obliviousness as to why. (Katara herself shows no reaction to any of this fumbling - perhaps unintentionally foreshadowing some of the problems to come.) Aang relents, and sits on the other side of Zuko.

In practical terms, there are two things that justify this gag beyond a bit of awkward humor. The first is that subsequent moments in the episode where the characters comment on the play involve both Katara and Zuko interacting with each other, and Zuko and Aang interacting with each other, making it most effective for Zuko to be seated between Katara and Aang for blocking purposes. 

Aang and Katara don’t interact much during the play. More unintentional foreshadowing? You be the judge.

The other reason is that this moment of making a fuss over seating arrangements sets up early on what is actually going to be a significant theme addressed in the episode - the question of whether Zuko is going to figuratively come between Aang and Katara the way he literally does here. And make no mistake, the episode is very concerned with this question.

After a brief spoof of Jetara that gets only a mild reaction of embarrassment from Katara, the first time the play-within-the-show really dives into shipping is its sendup of ridiculous Zutara expectations of the crystal cave scene in The Crossroads of Destiny. Actress!Katara declares the Avatar to be like a little brother, professes her attraction to actor!Zuko, and the two embrace. This is, of course, absurd for these characters at this point in the story, but to be fair, it’s a pretty accurate rendition of the wildest Zutara fandom predictions for the episode. The silliest of enemies-to-lovers tropes have always had their place in Zutara fandom. Capture!fic was very much a thing. Haha, it’s good for us all to laugh at ourselves sometimes. 

Pictured: Artist’s reconstruction of Zutara fan fic c. December 1, 2006

Aang, however, is not laughing. After growing increasingly frustrated with his own portrayal in the play, this scene makes him so angry that he storms out of the theater. It’s clear that, to Aang, this is no joking matter - and that means it’s quickly going to become more serious for the audience as well, as we soon move into what might be the episode’s most controversial scene, and certainly the one that has the largest dramatic impact on the actual narrative of the show. The tone of this scene is a stark contrast to the majority of the light-hearted, self-referential, tongue-in-cheek episode.

When Katara goes to find Aang, he confronts her about what her actress counterpart said, and we finally, after fifty-six episodes, get a scene where Aang and Katara directly talk about their relationship. This is a big moment, not just because it’s a weighty scene in the middle of a fluff episode, but also because it’s a huge opportunity to push forward the relationship that, remember, we’re accepting as intended endgame all along. The writers know Aang and Katara are going to end up together. They’ve known it for years. After playing coy about Katara’s feelings for nearly three full seasons, they must have been dying to get to this moment. 

This isn’t a shy kiss-or-die scenario. (Let it never be said that Zutara has the monopoly on silly tropes.) This isn’t a heat of the moment, one-sided pre-battle kiss that will be ignored later because of more pressing concerns. This is the chance for these characters to have a frank conversation about where they stand and what the nature of their relationship should be.

Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t go well.

Obviously we can’t have any actual Kataang resolution in this episode - we have to save that for the finale. Fair enough. So what do we do instead? We muddy the waters a bit more, make things even more complicated to resolve in the four episodes we have left, after giving this relationship little to no serious development in the previous fifty-six episodes.

Katara dismisses what her actress counterpart said in the play, but admits she’s confused about her own feelings. When Aang tries to kiss her again, she’s upset by it and storms away. This is the first and last time we ever see Katara address the possibility of her romantic feelings for Aang, until they kiss in the final seconds of the very last episode, her confusion apparently resolved off-screen.

Zuko isn’t mentioned in this scene, but from the perspective of showrunners trying to set up Kataang and unexpectedly confronting a popular rival ship they never intended, in the context of the previous scenes discussed above, this having Katara be dismissive of the play’s portrayal of her also seems like a pretty clear dismissal of Zutara. In fact, arguably this scene is a better casual dismissal of Zutara than it is a setup of the last-minute Kataang endgame.

And then, when the gaang returns to the theater for the final act of the play with the seating arrangements now reshuffled, we get one last awkward reaction shot of Aang and Katara when their stage counterparts declare their platonic affection for each other. And look who’s also in the frame for some reason.

Since they’ve all left the theater and come back, Zuko doesn’t need to be sitting next to Katara at this point. 

So the overall effect of the “shipping” subplot of this episode comes across as the writers assuring us that Zutara is silly, and that in spite of fandom expectations Zuko is not a romantic rival for Aang, while at the same time maintaining enough ambiguity between Katara and Aang so as not to preempt the resolution of them getting together in the finale.

What’s bizarre about it is...they didn’t actually have to do any of that? Within the world of the show, nobody had ever raised the possibility of Zuko and Katara being romantically involved prior to this episode. If it was never going to happen, it wasn’t something that needed to be addressed. Instead of taking this opportunity to give us reasons why Katara is going to get together with Aang - perhaps the review of their past adventures helps her clarify some of her own feelings, while still leaving her reservations about the timing? - this subplot seems more interested in trying to tell us that she’s not going to get together with Zuko. 

This is writing to the fandom, rather than writing to the narrative. From a storytelling perspective, it’s a waste of time. If the Zuko/Katara/Aang triangle is just a product of silly fans and doesn’t actually exist in the show, then there’s no need to make such a big deal of it. Rather than a throwaway gag, the seating shenanigans and dramatic weight given to Aang’s insecurities make the on-stage Zutara romance a central feature of the episode. There was no reason this had to be the case. 

So why was it?

Welcome to the realm of speculation.

One possibillity is that the writers of this episode (or Bryke themselves, directing them) simply got carried away with spoofing the fandom and lost sight of the actual narrative work they should have been doing. This is a case of bad priorities and poor judgement, but it’s fairly innocent.

The other possibility, and the less innocent one, is that it was deliberate shipbaiting. The shipping subplot seems meant to dismiss the possibility of Zutara in hindsight, working under the assumption that Kataang was always intended and Zutara never was - but it obviously wasn’t read that way by Zutara fandom at the time. With Zuko and Katara’s dramatic reconciliation in The Southern Raiders coming immediately prior to this episode, now the question of romantic Zutara is introduced and Katara’s feelings for Aang are less clear than Kataang shippers had assumed? Sounds pretty promising for Zutara when you look at it that way.

Was this actually intentional? As mentioned earlier, promotional material for the show did outright encourage the idea of the love triangle, even though the show itself hadn’t before. If the idea of this subplot wasn’t explicitly to give Zutara shippers false hope and set them up for disappointment, it may yet have been the last effort to throw kerosene on the fire of the ship wars before the show’s finale. 

It’s hard to believe that fan reactions wouldn’t have been considered when writing such a metatextual episode that engaged with the fandom so directly, but I do hate to assign malice as a motive where incompetence is a suitable explanation, so let’s assume that if this was the case, Bryke thought it was all in good fun. It still reflects poor judgement and priorities, because egging on drama among your fans shouldn’t be more important than developing the narrative you’re actually trying to tell.

So whatever the reasoning, in this episode, on the eve of the show’s finale, it seems that dissing Zutara was more important than developing Kataang.

YMMV on whether this is better or worse than the finale itself, where developing Zutara was more important than developing Kataang.

[secretlyatargaryen]

eyes-painted-with-kohl replied to your post “You cannot divorce Tyrion’s disability from what the show did to Dany...”

I agree with you that the show is so inconsistent that you can't blame any character for his actions, but if from a watsonian point of view what Dany did was evil, also from a watsw Tyrion releasing Jaime is treason.

Except that those two actions aren’t remotely comparable??? Daenerys indiscriminately massacred innocents after a surrender and people are literally trying to point the finger at Tyrion for...trying to save his brother? Or trying to save a city full of innocents? And these same people will say that “of course they’re not defending what Dany did” but then they’ll turn around and say the most awful things about Tyrion and give excuses for why he’s not allowed to want to save his brother. I’ve seen people say over and over again that Tyrion “chose” to be on Dany’s side so he just has to accept the murder of the people he loves, except that Tyrion didn’t really have any other choices when he joined Dany. She literally saved him from slavery and exile. And then in response to that, people are like “well then he should be grateful.” Really??? Really????? You’re gonna argue that the people that Dany frees from abuse should sacrifice absolutely everything for her, including their own personal well-being, and if they don’t they’re just ungrateful betrayers? That’s victim blaming as well as ridiculous.

And people are also trying to frame this as if it’s an example of Tyrion “plotting against Dany,” except that even as he freed Jaime and Jaime said Dany would kill him, he defended her, specifically because he believed that Dany was not a butcher and that she would thank him for allowing her to peaceably take the city. So anyone who wants to argue “wElL TyrION cOmmITED TreASon!11!!!” is actually arguing FOR butcher queen Daenerys, who indiscriminately murders and who would execute someone for trying to save their family and trying to save a city. It is entirely unrealistic and shitty for people to act like Dany was a victim and then condemn Tyrion for not wanting to see his brother be murdered. And arguing that that’s treason is monstrous. Talk about how the show’s writing was bad and about how Dany attacking KL was out of character, but don’t try to defend it with nonsense moral relativism that is just nasty and victim blaming. Doing that kind of puts a damper on the idea that y’all care about social justice at all.

And interestingly Jaime doesn’t even feature in this discussion at all or take any blame for switching sides at the last minute. It’s just Tyrion who has to bear the moral weight of picking which side is the moral right, and having to choose either 1) the brother he loves, the only person who has consistently defended him or that he can trust or 2) the queen he believes in who has nonetheless belittled him and accused him of betrayal way before he did anything that could remotely be interpreted as a betrayal (in season 7 when she turned on him and yelled at him and accused him of working against her because his plan failed), who people keep telling him that he should not be defending, who he is afraid of. From a Watsonian perspective, what the show wrote was an abuse victim defending an abusive relationship even as she forced him to choose between her and his family members.

If people are gonna argue that the writing was bad and that the show did Dany wrong (it did!) don’t defend her actions. Don’t defend the writing in some places just to suit your own narrative. Especially if you’re gonna argue it from a feminist perspective. Don’t turn around and condemn Tyrion for things that are like, an incredibly light shade of gray at the worst. Don’t talk about Dany being gaslit and then use gaslighting rhetoric to try and make Tyrion seem like the bad guy. Don’t engage in victim blaming and ableist rhetoric at the same time you pretend to talk about feminism.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The Wrath of a short woman - Bruce Wayne x Reader

So it’s late and I’m quite tired but I really wanted to write this so...Yeah. Written in 7 minutes (in two part, like I started to wrote it late at night yesterday, finished this morning), by a very tired Ella (you know I’m tired when I’m referring to myself with the third person), I hope you’ll like it, especially you @homework-is-the-real-killer : 

Yes I know he’s more around 6′2″/6′3″ in the comics, changed it for a few reasons, the first one because I wanted the reader to really be average sized, cause I think it’s funny that they’d all call her “short” when she really isn’t HOWEVER I’ll write a story soon with his actual height and and actual really short reader, like around 5′0″ or under :-). Boom. 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

-You can’t fight me, you’re miniature. 

As soon as those words get out of his mouth, he regrets it. Oh and by the look on your face, he knows he’s right to...

-What did you say ? 

-I mean...You...I...Hum....

The Batman is nervous. You made the Batman nervous, with your glare and the hint of danger in your eyes. You approach him. Him and his damn giant frame. 

He’s not wrong, of course. You are miniature. At least compared to him. With his 6 foot 7, he’s towering quite high above you but...he’s not entirely right. 

You can totally fight him, and oh you will.

************

You know you’re short. 

Well...That’s not exactly true. 

You know you’re short compared to your husband and sons. 

Hell, even compared to Alfred. The butler was actually quite tall. You always had to twist your neck up to look at him in the eyes while talking to him.  

Your height is actually average for a woman, but your husband is a damn giant, and your sons are too. 

Bruce is over a good foot taller than you, and so is Jason. Dick is exactly 10 inches taller, and Tim around 7. But it’s really when your youngest son, Damian, your baby, your eleven years old little boy started to rise above you of almost 2 inches that you realized that...Well, yes. 

In this family, you were a short one.  

This spurred a few teasing, and some “you’re so cute my tiny mom/wife” but nothing more (mostly because your sons and husband were afraid of your sarcasm and wits), just nice little jokes that made you feel loved for your shortness...

But you had to admit that sometimes, them being so tall and you not being a supermodel sized woman...could make things a bit awkward. 

You were thinking about that, sitting in the Manor’s library. 

About how Bruce always had to bend down to kiss you, and you had to go on your tip toes to be able to reach when he bend down. 

How when paparazzis were taking pictures sometimes you wouldn’t even be on it because they only had Bruce’s back and he was somehow shielding you with his massive frame (that, was a good thing)...

How even when you had high heels on, you still wouldn’t be tall enough. 

How sometimes it got you in kind of embarrassing situations, like when people wanted to take official photos of you and somehow there was a problem and your entire body would be cut off, looking like a child standing next to your husband...You were pretty convinced some photographers did that on purpose because they thought it was funny. 

You actually remember a few instances of articles in magazines or such with the title : “Bruce Wayne and his tiny wife take a walk on Gotham’s docks” (but you weren’t tiny ! He was tall...you never saw a “(Y/N) Wayne and her gian husband” thing) or something like that. 

Your thoughts got cut right off as you heard the library’s door open and..Well, speaking of the devil, Bruce entered, scanning the room with his eyes, smiling as he sees you sitting in your favorite chesterfield armchair. 

-I knew you’d be there. 

-Oh but you really are the greatest detective ever aren’t you ? 

He smiles some more at your teasing (you spend most of your free time in the living room with your boys, or if you wanted to be alone, in the library, it wasn’t difficult to know where you were), he approaches you slowly. 

You put the book you were reading (before all that thinking about your shortness) on a side, and sit up straight, as he lays his hands on each arm of the chair and bends down, down, down...a little bit more, to finally kiss you softly. You think that, from an outer perspective, his position must look ridiculous...

You cup his cheek and caress it slightly, and he leans in your touch and...Oh god you love that man. You love the fact that when alone with you, he always seems to let go off everything. Of his worries, of his sadness, of his darkness and broodiness...

-How are you today ? 

-Better now.

He kisses you again and, as often between you two, the kiss turns heated. In his passion, Bruce completely forgets his hands are on the armchair and...he slips and falls on you. 

He manages to somehow catch himself and do not fall with his full weight on you (which is good, cause you’re pretty sure he would have crushed you with all those damn muscles), but still falls on his knees, his arms on each side of you, and his face goes straight between your boobs (”oh, nice cleavage”).

He’s about to apologize when...the sound of your laugh makes your chest vibrates, and you can feel him smile on your skin as he he straightens up (not before kissing between the valley of your breast though). 

Even as he’s on his knees, he still is taller than you and, nicely settled between your legs you can’t help but sigh when he has to bend down once again to reach your lips. He stops, and pulls away a little bit, he takes your arms and puts them around his neck before he rests his hands on your thighs and asks : 

-What is it my love ? 

-It’s just...You’re...i’m...

You can see worries starting to well up in your Bruce’s eyes, and you have to immediately reassure him. It’s not a big deal, it’s not important, you say : 

-It’s totally silly really. It’s just that you’re so damn tall, and I guess I’m short and...

His laugh cuts you off and you can’t help but pout a bit, you take your arms away from around his neck and cross them, looking away. You know it is indeed silly, but you’re also vexed that he’d laugh like that. Especially since it’s a genuine tonitruant laugh...

-Oh...Hahahahaha...don’t be like that my (Y/N),  I...HAHAHAHAHHAAHA.

You push his face away as he tries to come and nuzzle your neck, letting out a sigh of annoyance, and your pouting gets even more childish. Oh you hate how he’s the only one that can annihilate all your sarcasm and sassiness and makes you blush and feel like a kid...You also kinda love it. 

But you’re just unable to stop him from wrapping his arms around your waist, and laying his head on your stomach as his body shakes with laughter. You just can’t push him away and act all vexed and all, because he’s just...so..;damn...tall...and...strong...

It takes him a few minutes to stop laughing like crazy, and finally, he pulls away, still kneeling down between your legs. Wiping away the tears in his eyes, he smiles at you and is about to approach you and kiss you once again but your hands on his face stops him. 

-Go away, you and your tall ass. 

He snorts (and yet still manages to make it sounds sexy...a sexy snort...really, damn that man and his perfectness) and starts to pull away...you catch him by the sleeve, and he turns his goddamn smug face towards you before saying :

-I thought you wanted me to go.

-I...You...I...

What you grumble then is completely unintelligible and it makes him smile fondly at you as you avert his gaze. He comes closer once again, and this time you don’t stop him. He lays his forehead on yours after kissing your nose tenderly and in a whisper he says :

-But my love, if you weren’t short, I couldn’t do this. 

-Do wh...

You don’t have time to finish your sentence as he lifts you in the air, and your legs wrap themselves around his waist. Your mouth is aligned with his in this position, and oh it’s definitely one of your favorite thing about being kinda short : the way he can just sweeps your feet away, quite literally. 

And as you both walk towards your shared room, you can’t help but think that yes, sometimes, being short comes in handy. 

You wave at Tim and Damian that you meet on your way to your bedroom, and they quickly run away, disgusted out of their mind by their parents’ love. Ew.

************

Bruce is putting his clothes back on, as he has an important meeting at Wayne inc in less than an hour, and smiles at you as he can see your reflection in the mirror. You’re trying to act as if nothing happened but oh god whenever you and him make love, it’s always something...And you always end up completely shaken. To the core. 

You smile weakly at him and, wrapping your naked form in the sheet you walk to him to put your own clothes back on. Or your pyjamas, after all, you have no plan on going out of the Manor today (lucky you). 

You brush his arm as you pass by and...he grabs you by the waist to bring you flush against him. The sheet falls down, to his great pleasure, and he gives you the sweetest kiss on your forehead. 

-Thanks for that my love. I needed to wind out a bit...

-Oh, thank you my Broosh, you did most of the work today. 

He chuckles lowly and just looks at you with so much love and awe that...well, you blush. Only him can make you blush easily, after all this years of marriage.

-You’re underestimating yourself again (Y/N), you did more than enough. You always do more than enough, and not only when we’re in bed. 

You smile weakly at him, still blushing. He always praises you so much every day, and it always makes you feel so damn happy, but also awkward. You will never think you deserve him...which is exactly why he  makes a point of telling you all of that each days. Even when away on a mission. Hell, once he was on Apokolips and managed to send you a text stating : “I love you so much, and you’re so beautiful, that I’m sending this while punching monsters in the face” (it made you smile, even though you were dead worried for him...he always knew what to say to reassure you). 

You’re about to make his heart go wild with one of your cheesy line but he doesn’t let you say anything and continues : 

-Oh I love you my gorgeous (Y/N)..even if you’re really extremely short. 

What ?! Oh well the mood is ruined now. You pull away from him and his smug face makes you want to hit him...Which you do, you hit him lightly on the chest, creasing your eyebrows, and say :

-Bite me Bruce. 

-I already did. 

-Imma kick you in the face. 

-You’re too short for that. 

-Imma kick you in the nuts. 

-Perfect height for that I do admit. You could headbutt me there...or, you know, you could do something else. 

His wink is insufferable and, rolling your eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh you say : 

-Oh my god Bruce don’t push it ! I’ll fight you ! 

-You can’t fight me, you’re miniature. 

And here we go. 

You can see in his eyes that he is regretting saying that, because he knows what you’re thinking. He knows you just took his words as a challenge. And when you take a few steps back from him, in your naked glory, and that look shines in your eyes...he knows he made a huge mistake. 

He knows you have a mean right hook, after all, you already got him with that a few time, long ago, when he had the awful idea to make you jealous on purpose (granted, he wasn’t ready for you to hit him, and still wondered how your fist could even reach for his face anyway...). 

Almost imperceptibly, his footing changes, and he’s now in a fighting stance, ready to counter anything you could do and...oh but he wasn’t prepared for what you had in mind. 

It’s one of the things he loves the most about you, and you always end up surprising him, how every day is different because he always discovers something about you that makes him fall in love even more with you (as if it was possible). And as he stands in front of you, in a beautiful tux, ready to “fight you”, you take him by surprise yet again. 

Oh you were short uh ? Well yes, and again, sometimes, it could come in handy. You slip under his parted legs (fighting stance) and he doesn’t have time to turn his entire body, only his head is trying to follow you, before you jump on his back, locking his neck in a perfect key (and if he wasn’t so stunned by what you just did, he would have been so proud of you because you re-did what he taught you perfectly). 

-I can’t fight you cause I’m miniature uh ? 

You say, tightening your grip around his neck, your legs around his waist. 

Of course, you know he could get rid of you very easily, he’s the goddamn Batman, if he can get rid of Bane, he can totally throw you away too...but you also know he would never hurt you and he’s too afraid to injure you in any way to actually defends himself right now. 

He turns around and tries to unwrap your legs from around your waist but...oh he shouldn’t underestimate your strength. He knows that. And it’s way more difficult to do that he thought, especially since yes, he really doesn’t want to hurt you, and he knows that if he forces to much he could break both of your damn pretty legs...But he is the goddamn Batman, and a plan comes quickly to his mind, as he can feel your lips leaving way too many love bites on his neck (how is he gonna hide those ?!). 

He walks toward the bed, and in an expert movements, manages to untangle you from him, tearing you away from his body in one swift move, and pinning you on your shared bed. 

You giggle as his locks your wrists in his hands above your head, and his legs push on yours so that you really cannot move, not matter how you try to wriggle away. Hot. 

And oh he kind of regrets the training in fighting he gave you because you somehow manage to slip one leg away from him (from him, the Batman !) and you press your knee in between his legs. He takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm and collected, even though it’s almost impossible with you pushing your knee right there...

-See Broosh, I could have hit you right in the nuts. Definitely not too short to fight you, my heart. 

He smiles and is about to to say something but your knee grinding into him fogs his vision and shuts him up. 

-And I’m definitely not to short to get a reaction out of the mighty and usually so stoic Batman...

Still pinning you on the mattress, your knee between his legs driving him crazy, he says, almost out of breath : 

-Oh I definitely never said otherwise...and mea culpa my tiny love, you can definitely fight me. 

His lips come down to brush against yours and...All Hell break loose. 

Bruce has a fleeting thought about how he shouldn’t do this, because he does have an important meeting at Wayne Inc...But oh the feel of you around him makes him forget, and in a second, his suit is off. 

They’ll just have to wait...

Fin.

____________________

Terrible. Oh my. 

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

The Rules

It’s their eighth year, and Draco is back at Hogwarts, although he’s heavily monitored by his professors and by the Ministry itself. Harry starts to talk to him, and finds out about the list of ridiculous rules Draco has to follow. He intends to do something about it. Fluff. 

Stranger: [8th year AU; Draco is given the option of finishing his schooling or going to Azkaban, he chose school, though he’s still heavily monitored and strict, ridiculous rules are enforced upon him while he finishes his year. He’s only one of the few, if any other, Slytherins of his year that returned. Currently set in the Great Hall, messages through magically transported notes.] If you and your friends could stop staring at me, that'd be appreciated. DM

You: Sorry. HP They only looked because I did. HP

Stranger: I'm just asking you to stop. DM

You: Right. Sorry. HP

Stranger: Right. DM

You: [...] Why doesn't anyone talk to you? HP

Stranger: Potter, it doesn't take a genius to guess why nobody wants to talk to the resident Death Eater. DM

You: And it doesn't take a genius to know that that's bullshit. HP

Stranger: The majority of people disagree with that. DM

You: That doesn't make them right. You weren't a Death Eater by choice, and you obviously have a chance at redeeming yourself if you're here. HP

Stranger: You don't know what you're talking about. DM

You: Malfoy, if anyone in the Wizarding World knows what they're talking about, it would be me. HP

Stranger: [...] I'm not here by choice, either. DM

You: I'm aware of that. But they gave you a choice. A lot of people didn't get that. HP

Stranger: I know. DM

You: They gave you a choice for a reason. People should be able to understand that. HP

Stranger: That doesn't mean they think I'm trustworthy or necessarily capable of redeeming myself, either. DM

You: Those things should go hand in hand, because you wouldn't be here if those things weren't true. HP

Stranger: I'm still considered a prisoner, here. DM

You: Which is ridiculous. They can't expect you to redeem yourself unless they actually give you a chance. HP If they don't give one to you, you just have to make one for yourself. HP

Stranger: The only thing I'm trying to do is to get through this year. DM

You: That's the first step, though, isn't it? If you get through the year with everything they've thrown at you, they're going to have to lay off sooner or later. HP

Stranger: That's an optimistic thought but I highly doubt that's going to happen. DM

You: There are people that can advocate for it if it doesn't. HP

Stranger: Maybe. DM

You: Definitely. HP

Stranger: I'm just trying to be realistic. DM

You: So am I. Realistically, if you aren't given the chances you deserve at the end of the year, there are people that would make sure to at least try and fight for them for you. HP

Stranger: And I'm saying that I've personally encountered proof to the opposite of that. DM

You: What do you mean? HP

Stranger: Nobody wants to help a Death Eater, is what I'm saying. DM

You: You're not a Death Eater, Malfoy. And I would. HP

Stranger: The Dark Mark on my arm isn't going away. To the eyes of the Ministry and the general public, I'm a Death Eater. DM

Stranger: And you're insane, so you're obviously an exception to the rule. DM

You: I'm not insane. I would do what I could because you deserve as much. You're NOT a Death Eater. Bollucks on what the general public thinks. The Dark Mark won't go away, no, but the Mark doesn't define you. It never has. HP

Stranger: Did you write that down beforehand or did you just come up with that little speech on the spot? DM

Stranger: And you're insane, certifiably. Sane people don't do things you've done. DM

You: I came up with it just now. Thought it was rather nice, honestly. HP To be fair, it's probably fitting if I'm not sane. Sane people probably haven't been through what I have. HP

Stranger: Of course you did. DM The most prominent thing coming to mind is when you broke into Gringotts and broke out on a dragon. Insane. DM

You: What, you didn't like it? HP It was a necessary step in defeating Voldemort! It wasn't as though we had many options. HP

Stranger: You always come up with the most outlandish nonsense and consider it an appropriate action plan. DM

You: Sometimes it's the only thing that works. HP It doesn't really matter if I am insane or not, you know. The Ministry acts like the sun shines out of my arse, nowadays. If I stepped in, they'd have to at least consider it. HP

Stranger: I don't think it would help in this instance. It'd be one thing if the professors agreed with you, but they're...DM They're not exactly allies in this situation. DM

You: The professors? HP

Stranger: Who do you think is enforcing the Ministry regulations put against me? The school ghosts? DM

You: Alright, alright. Obviously, the professors are. I just hadn't given it much thought. HP Have they been treating you unfairly? HP

Stranger: Unfairly is one word for it, I suppose. DM

You: What do you mean? HP

Stranger: I told you, I'm much more like a prisoner here than a student. DM I'm usually ignored in terms of when I'd try to answer questions, but on the flip side of that, my work is also judged more harshly. DM

You: That's ridiculous. I wish I could say I can't believe it, but with the way I've seen them go back and forth on favouritism over the years... HP Do you want me to try and talk to any of them? The worst of it? HP

Stranger: No, don't. They'll know I said something and it'll only get worse. DM

You: They're professors, Malfoy, not children. HP

Stranger: I'm being serious. DM

You: You shouldn't have to just... sit idly by while they bully you. It's wrong. HP

Stranger: I don't have any other choice. DM

You: [...] Come sit with us. HP

Stranger: No. DM

You: Why not? HP

Stranger: Aside from the obvious bit about it not being a good idea to sit with people my family and I have directly hurt? DM [...] I have to sit within the professors' lines of sight at the end of the table like this. DM

You: Then I'll come and sit by you. HP

Stranger: Don't. DM

You: Why not? HP

Stranger: You have your own friends, Potter. DM Besides, I have to leave soon anyway. I have a limited time frame to get to class and it's easier to deal with it if I'm ahead of the crowd of people leaving the Great Hall. DM

You: What if I'm trying to make a new one? HP Tomorrow, then. HP

Stranger: You're very insistent about this. DM

You: You don't deserve to be put in hell because of what you had to do to survive during the war. HP

Stranger: You make it sound much more noble than it was. DM

You: I have a habit of doing that. HP Still. I believe what I said. HP

Stranger: And what if I don't believe it? DM

You: Then you don't give yourself enough credit. HP

Stranger: [...] I have to run. Literally. You can still talk to me but for the next five minutes I'll just be focusing on getting to class. DM

You: Good luck. HP I still think it's stupid, all the rules they're making you follow. I don't know how you keep them all straight. HP

Stranger: I had to write them down. DM

You: That makes more sense, actually. HP

Stranger: I can show you sometime, if you're that curious. It's a long list. DM

You: I can only imagine. I'm up for seeing it sometime. HP

You: ((brb))

Stranger: I always carry it around. Alright, I have to go. DM [delay] I hate the layout of this entire castle so much. DM

You: What happened? HP

Stranger: The moving staircases. DM

You: Oh, no. HP You got stuck somewhere? HP

Stranger: No, but I got seriously close to breaking a limb. DM

You: Merlin. HP Are you alright now? HP

Stranger: I'm fine. Got to class within the time I needed to. Barely. DM

You: That's good. I can't imagine they'd let you off easily, even with a broken limb, if they've been so hard on you already. HP

Stranger: They probably wouldn't, no. DM

You: It's so wrong. HP

Stranger: It is what it is. DM

You: I suppose. But it doesn't make it right. HP

Stranger: There's nothing to be done but get through it. DM

You: Which you will. HP I still don't see how speaking to the professors would make things worse. HP

Stranger: It would, believe me. DM Take the amount of time I have to get between classes. It was, at first, 5-8 minutes. I complained about that being ridiculous, and they just knocked it down to 5 minutes even. DM

You: Are you serious?! HP There has to be some way to make things more bearable. HP

Stranger: I wish I was kidding. DM There doesn't seem to be. DM

You: At least you've only got to deal with it for the rest of this year, I guess. HP

Stranger: That's a lot. DM

You: Yeah. It is. HP Maybe there are loopholes? In the list? HP

Stranger: Not really. If the Ministry is anything after the war, it's thorough. Don't want the pesky Death Eater student thinking he can control the system. DM

You: What if there was an appeal to the Ministry to change the rules? HP

Stranger: Hilarious. DM

You: I'm serious, Malfoy. HP

Stranger: That's the most insanely optimistic thing you've ever said, and you say a lot of insane and optimistic things. DM

You: I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment. HP It's not THAT insane, though. I could get Hermione to help. She's good at finding the right words for this sort of thing. Any appeal with my name on it would carry weight. Something could come of it. HP

Stranger: I'm not going to make Granger get involved in helping me. DM

You: You wouldn't be making her do anything. HP

Stranger: It would. DM

You: No. If I asked for her help, it would be me asking her for help. And she wouldn't do it unless she wanted to. HP

Stranger: And she shouldn't want to. DM

You: She would do it. HP

Stranger: Why? DM

You: [...] Believe it or not, we've actually talked about this before. The war changed a lot of things, but it also put a lot of things into perspective. The things we said and did to each other as children don't really matter, in the long run. We all had to do things we weren't proud of, later on. She believes the same thing that I do about people deserving chance to redeem themselves. Including you. HP

Stranger: [...] That's- DM You're all too damn nice for your own good, you know. DM

You: Maybe. I don't know. There's not enough nice in this world right now. HP

Stranger: Fair enough. DM

You: Would you let us do it, then? Appeal to the Ministry on your behalf? HP

Stranger: [long delay] I suppose. DM

You: Then we'll do it. HP

Stranger: Thank you. DM

You: You know I'm not doing this so you'll thank me, right? HP

Stranger: I'm still thanking you anyway. DM

You: Then... you're welcome. HP

Stranger: [...] I think I'll just copy down the list and send it to you that way. It's long and I get nervous if I don't physically have the thing. DM

You: That's understandable. Whichever way works for you, works for me. HP

Stranger: Okay, good. DM

You: Hopefully, we can get it a bit shorter. Or a bit less extensive, at the very least. HP

Stranger: Less tight would be the best way, I think. It's...rigid. DM

You: I can tell. Five minutes to get from class to class? That's hardly enough. HP

Stranger: Especially when I have classes across the castle from each other. DM

You: Exactly. It ISN'T enough time. At all. HP

Stranger: With the amount of sprinting I've been doing, I could potentially consider a career as an athlete. DM

You: At least that's something. I suppose it's one way to stay in shape. HP

Stranger: That's fair. DM

You: Although I can't say the pro outweighs the cons, in this case. HP

Stranger: No, obviously not. DM

You: Still, a potential career in athletics is better than nothing. HP This whole thing is entirely pointless. What do they honestly think you're going to do in the time between your classes? HP

Stranger: Potter, let's be realistic, as it stands right now I don't have a potential career in much of anything at all. DM I think their idea was that I might idle around and hex someone or do some other nefarious thing, I don't know. DM

You: That's because people are ridiculous. HP Right, because not having to sprint from class to class equates to having enough time to be nefarious, or whatever. It's barely even conceivable. HP

Stranger: That's pretty much the premise of all of the regulations. Their basic reasoning is that I'm potentially dangerous and measures need to be taken to counteract that. DM

You: Potentially dangerous, my arse. If you were going to do something, these regulations wouldn't actually stop you because you wouldn't give two shits about them. HP

Stranger: I considered saying that exact thing, but I figured it'd only make it worse. DM

You: Probably a good call. I can't believe that the officials are still so blind, after everything that's happened. HP

Stranger: They see themselves as preventing future conflict. DM

You: But by doing what they're doing, they're only going to breed it. HP

Stranger: It's a mess. DM

You: You can certainly say that again. HP

Stranger: I'm just exhausted. DM

You: Do you even get time to sleep properly? HP

Stranger: Not really, if I want to get my work done. DM

You: How in Merlin's name do they expect you to get your work done if you can't get any sleep? HP

Stranger: They see that as my own problem. DM

You: Of course they do. HP

Stranger: If I'm a student, I'm supposed to do my work, that's the logic. DM

You: And if you're a person, you're supposed to be able to sleep. That sounds like logic. HP

Stranger: And I agree. DM

You: I think I'm going to end up making a list of my own. It's going to have all the reasons why the things on your list are ridiculous. HP

Stranger and I both needed to sleep...